#i promise its just slice of life and not about the struggles of being a teenager of dealing with a changing body and
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thetrasha · 1 day ago
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Hi Tasha! How are you? It's my first time requesting something im nervous husahauhsuahau
I'm here to ask for a request with the boys from One Piece (it can be whoever you want :) ) with an autistic reader. A slice of life fluff (?)?)?) well they're pirates, their life is quite chaotic), little moments where they deal with the struggles the reader has and overcome it in their own way (together). It can be just headcanons too, I don't mind! I'll appreciate anything you can offer, I really like your writing
Also I'm sorry about my english, I tried my best to be clear!
Hello anon ╰(*°▽°*)╯I'm fine... even if I'm being boiled alive in this wretched heat :((
Thank you so much for this request, it’s an honour to fulfil this one for you. Usually, I wouldn’t accept asks like that because I want everybody to feel like they can project themselves onto my works, but this is a bit of a self-indulgent passion project if you will. I saw this and knew I had to write it – I can relate because… guess what 🤡 Yeah…
So I’m sorry if my lived experiences don’t align with yours or anybody reading this.
Everybody’s burdens and strengths manifest in different ways… to make up for the fact that I cannot represent everybody since I’ve been shaped by my own impressions and biases, I’ve chosen a variety of symptoms and comorbidities to make up for that. And btw thanks for letting me choose the characters!!
I really hope you like this one. And your English is great, don’t worry 🫂(●'◡'●)
PS. This will be the only request of its kind I will accept. Thanks for reading! But we’re back to business as usual after this :D
PPS. This also won't be featured in my masterlist to discourage requests that resemble it.
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One Piece with an Autistic Reader
feat. LUFFY, ZORO, SANJI, FRANKY, MIHAWK
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LUFFY
You struggle with… extreme trust issues.
Interpersonal relationships meant something to you. You wanted and needed friends who would understand you wordlessly, who would be there when you needed them the most – people who genuinely cared. You wanted to truly bond. That depth of care isn’t easily found within the general population. Modern life most often happens in the fast lane… where relationships are disposable and the next experience is just waiting for you. You cannot relate to that side of life at all.
You feel… alone in the middle of a crowd, unseen and forgotten. You watch other people’s friend groups with envy and bitterness, wishing such a thing for yourself. You don’t chase experiences, you just want someone who wouldn’t abandon you.
Maybe that’s why you couldn’t believe Luffy when he wanted to recruit you. You couldn’t see your own shine and you thought he was just messing with you… promising the world before he’d grow aware of your strangeness and get rid of you, like all the others before him. When his crewmates talked about their life experience and how little they trusted Luffy in the beginning, you started getting… antsy. Restless. You began overthinking this thing.
So many people cannot be in on the same lie, can they? Someone would eventually cave and confess – until they didn’t. It just… it doesn’t make sense.
You try to push Luffy away from you, but he clings even closer. He actively tries to tear down your walls, even if they’re reinforced with years and years of struggle. Being with him… it’s actually pretty fun. He doesn’t listen much – only to the most important bits… but he’s there. Always. Always! So far, he’s trying so much harder than anybody else before him. He’s there at every waking moment, wanting to help you out and get you to agree to join his group of adventurers.
You don’t have to pretend you’re someone else when he’s near. He accepts you just as you are. It doesn’t matter to him.
It’s the first time you weren’t the one putting in actual effort into a relationship… Luffy was doing all the heavy lifting. He showed up, followed you even when you ignored him – what a useless protective mechanism – and talked to you as if you’d been friends for years already. You didn’t have to earn his trust, it was just there for the taking.
Just before you’re ready to take the plunge and go along with his antics, he’d formally introduce you to his crew… as one of their own.
He’s always viewed you as one of them, you’d suddenly realise.
It... makes you want to cry.
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ZORO
You struggle with… feeling like you didn’t accomplish anything.
Zoro is hard to make sense of for you. He’s… kind, in his own ways, but since he doesn’t talk much, you struggle to read him. He’s also just… an intimidating guy – physically and spiritually. Strangers respect him because of his nature, even if he’s just… Zoro to you. You don’t think you need to be scared of him, but you have started walking around on eggshells when he’s nearby. He’s always napping somewhere when he’s not with you… and you don’t want him to perceive you when you try to master your own ambitions. Watching him makes you feel worse about yourself. Zoro is a successful man by any metric… he’s always had a natural talent for swordsmanship and refined it through hard work and steeling his mind, he’s so confident and always shoots for the stars, knowing that he’ll get there eventually. He doesn’t doubt himself, it’s in his instincts to be the best there is.
You cannot claim the same for yourself. You excel in certain niches, but you’re… not as crucial of a member as Zoro is. He’s kind of the backbone of this crew.
You feel small in comparison to him, insignificant even.
Of course he notices. It’s Zoro! He’s not as dense as he seems. He’s frighteningly perceptive and observes everyone silently.
So what does he do? Nothing at first.
He believes in your independence and knows you’re smarter than him, this is just some inexplicable poison corrupting your mind.
When you can’t free yourself from your own insecurity, he starts seeking you out, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Zoro cares about you – maybe more than you realise. He’s glad to have you on this crew, you accept him as he is and you have an unspoken 'friendship' blossoming between you two. Why he’s so affected by you being so distant – he doesn’t know, but he can guess pretty easily… So he started breaching your personal space. There he was, standing beside you once more, looking at you with his unreadable expressions… but then he speaks. Zoro started talking about… his feelings.
What has happened? “I wish we’d spend more time together… like we used to.”, he’d grumble with pink cheeks.
And you could just stand there in shock. Zoro… wanted, no, needed you around? He… liked spending time with you? You’d ask him whether you weren’t too weak for him, ready to feed your soul with more negativity.
Yet all he does is honestly tell you that he believes you’re meant for greatness, that he thinks you’re better than him – he’s always thought highly of you and acknowledged your skills. He’s always been watching you, so of course he’s able to recall moments when you had to save the day.
Zoro doesn’t think you’re less than at all, he reminds you that you’ve always gone above and beyond.
Society's conditioned you into feeling like a failure for not fitting into a mould like he does, but he has a different way of measuring success. You don't have to fulfil expectations, you just have to try your best and hold your head high while doing so.
He's proud of you - and he views you as his equal.
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SANJI
You struggle with… being a picky eater.
Certain tastes and texture just make you resent the food you’re eating. It suddenly turns pleasure into anguish.
At the same time, you feel like you cannot reveal these things about you, because Sanji already uses the best ingredients for your meals, just to make sure it’s especially nutritious. And because he likes you the most, secretly.
You appreciate his thoughtful gestures every time, but the fact that certain foods touch each other on your plate makes you inexplicably mad. You try your hardest to hide it from him – Sanji knows what starvation is like, for God’s sake. You’re disrespecting him by being the way you are!
But he’s already picked up on your unusual habits; he subtly watches everyone when they eat and derives a lot of happiness from seeing their faces light up – it validates his pride in cooking – but your eyes are dull, almost pained sometimes. You… cannot enjoy anything.
Sanji also doesn’t want to embarrass you for your preferences, which is why he doesn’t initially ask you about it bluntly. He’s caught glimpses of the way you’ve been socialised and doesn’t want to reignite bad memories for you, so he… just tests different things to try and accommodate you.
And he starts applying these things to everyone just to make you feel included. He’d never single you out.
You seemed a lot happier a few days ago, when he started separating the veggies from the rice and handed everything out on different plates. Nobody even bat an eye at the new way of assorting his dishes, not even you. It makes your dearest chef smile. That’s how he slowly started probing for your likes and dislikes. You suddenly even felt way more comfortable expressing yourself. Maybe you hated bitter tastes, maybe you just really disliked sour foods, maybe you were sensitive to salt – he doesn’t know, but he subtly tries to figure you out by baking zesty, sour rhubarb into a sweet cake instead of a savoury meal… and he noticed that you liked it all of the sudden. You even smiled at him while you stuffed your cheeks.
Sanji absolutely had to pause to deal with his oncoming cardiac arrest. He’s never felt pride like this… people usually liked his cooking, but knowing that someone who’s probably never got to enjoy certain foods love his meals just hit different. It squeezed his heart painfully tight.
You’d never have to feel bad about yourself around him. He would try to make things right either way, but soon you’d gain the courage to tell him about your habits yourself, making him melt on the spot.
He’s the first person who took your strange tastes seriously.
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FRANKY
You struggle with… noises.
It would sound crazy if you asked Franky whether he could hear the out-of-sync gears turning within him, you thought quietly. You could even hear fluorescent light because its crackles and sharp hisses annoyed you – so every time you heard a minor squeak coming from inside his chest, you cringed at your rudeness.
You liked Franky, he was an amazing guy, funny without even trying, charismatic, empathetic and he always offered words of encouragement. You actually thought you clicked best with Franky. He was… unconventional like you and made sure you knew that you were fine just the way you were. You were pretty much inseparable. He made you feel confident since he didn’t care about social rules despite very much understanding them and made you feel secure in expressing yourself however you liked. Franky always hyped you up from the sidelines and, if the mood allowed it, provided the intellectually challenging conversations you needed to thrive.
He was naturally complex like that – you adored him.
It’s just that every time he’d invite you to sit by his tinkering station, you were leaving with a massive headache. You felt burnt out just listening to his metal spinal plates scratch against one another… there were so many sounds getting processed in your brain that you had a hard time following the conversation. You often had to ask him to repeat himself, which he always did with a laugh and a cheeky remark.
But after a while, he notices a pattern. He doesn’t know what’s been causing you discomfort, but Franky’s an inventor. Of course he would try to make you something that would help you. At first, he believed that you had trouble with background noise and just had an insane auditory processing ability, which is why he installed panelling inside the walls of the common rooms to block sound waves echoing throughout the ship – and while it helped, you still showed some signs that you weren’t doing well around him.
Naturally, Franky would search for a different solution. Whether it’s as easy as handing you headphones or as difficult as restructuring the springs that replaced his joints, he’s trying it all.
And one day, you sit next to him, watching him put screws into one of his newest projects completely unrelated to you and you commented with wide eyes,
“You’re… silent. It’s quiet. Are you feeling okay?”
All he could do is laugh with pride, his chest pushed out before he struck his signature pose.
Truth be told, all he did was oil the old pistons that pumped cola and oil through his engineered heart – he started getting a clue after you once confessed in passing that you’d suspected a leak near the keel of the ship… and Franky notices these little things and puts them together all by himself.
You could hear everything – all the time.
Even a rhythmic stream of water passing through a crack in a plank at the bottom of the Sunny –
–and that’s when he realised that you could hear when something was awry with him, that it made you anxious. Well, you will never have to worry about that again! But… he’s grateful… so grateful for your care. Franky couldn’t ever go to Chopper for help because the doctor wasn’t equipped to deal with a pile of junk, but… you were, clearly.
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MIHAWK
You struggle with… having nobody to talk to.
It was silly, really, to go to your greatest rival for small talk, especially when he was such a lone wolf who desired to be left alone, but despite your own drive towards independence, you wanted someone who would be willing to listen to you.
You’ve never been taken seriously – many people deem your ramblings childish, uninteresting or inappropriate, but Mihawk was a thoroughly serious man whose entire purpose was dipped in devotion. And he knew your worth as a fighter. You’d mastered your rapier, even if you would never be as good as he was. That’s how you met, but you’d never try to actually take his title by aspiring to get even better at it. It wasn’t… something you were interested in; this was just a means to an end, you fought to survive as a fellow pirate. Nothing more, nothing less.
You overperformed in your own interests, so much so that people who were casually interested would leave a conversation with you within minutes. Nobody in the world could relate. Not even Mihawk, you guessed bitterly, but you… trusted him – to listen and, most importantly, to stay.
He was just as much of an autodidact as you were, even if he chose to study the blade and you chose to acquire knowledge about something that truly fulfilled you.
So you wander the halls of his sparsely furnished castle in hopes of finding him.
And find him you did. He was just nonchalantly having dinner all by himself at his desk… it’s truly bizarre that this was one of his most normal moments.
You invited yourself in with a smile, hearing the pleasant ring of his quiet hum upon noticing your presence.
And then you started talking if not info-dumping on Lord Dracule Mihawk. And he just sat there, taking it all in while eating a plate of unseasoned plain pasta…
“So… then me more about this intriguing ‘comic’…”, he murmured, taking a relaxed sip of wine.
He noticed that your eyes shone and that you seemed confused for just a moment before blabbing on with visible excitement, talking a lot faster.
Even though he had trouble following, he sat forward, elbows firmly placed on his spread knees and hands on his chin as if in deep, profound thought all the while nodding at all those random trivia facts you shared about your passion.
At the same time, he shared some random side facts on ranked blades he’s picked up over the years and even let you touch Yoru, explaining in great detail how important the cut of the blade truly was and how maintaining it is his secret to slicing through ships with his brute strength and Haki.
And that’s when you noticed – Mihawk had nobody to talk to about “these things” either. Or maybe he had nobody to talk to in general. Who knows?
But you did have each other.
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avocado-writing · 11 months ago
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Idk if you know Mortal Kombat, especially mileena (she's my favorite) but may I please get a Wolverine and/or Deadpool with a gf who has a mutation like Mileena.
She thinks she's ugly when she uses it but the boys think otherwise 🎀
(I'M LITERALLY IN HEAT EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT THEM)
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This is (my wife) Mileena
When Wade fights with you at his side, your carnage is always prefaced with a quiet request. 
“Please don’t look.”
And, because he is fundamentally a good dude, he doesn’t.
Fuck. He really wants to, though.
The noises that you make when he turns his back to focus on a different opponent are… interesting. It sounds like a bunch of really wet celery being snapped in half to a symphony of screams. When he’s done slicing people into teeny tiny chunks he turns around and sees you standing there in a pool of blood, trying to get the stain of it off your jacket.
He’s never been so curious about something in his entire life.
You’re so lovely. Loveliest thing he’s ever met. How the fuck he managed to convince you to give him a chance he’ll never know. God, the stars, and luck must have all been on his side that day, when after you’d finished taking down a cartel he’d asked you to grab a coffee and you’d said yes. Ever since then it’s been great. He loves spending days on window-shopping dates with you, fingers intertwined as he leaves you breathless with laughter; lazing on his sofa with some stupid rom-com playing with a bucket of popcorn between you both; snuggled in his usual corner booth at his favourite pizza place playing footsie beneath the table.
Perfect. You are perfect in every way.
So if all it takes is looking away when you ask him to then it’s a pretty easy compromise.
Unfortunately what you don’t take into account is that he is an idiot.
Wade catches the sight of you in the reflection of his katana the next time you’re out on a job. He’s just liberated some dude’s head from the rest of his body and is cleaning his blade when he spots you. 
And he cannot turn away.
Your mouth is open so wide it could rival a snake’s. Rows of jagged teeth which help you dismember the man who has been caught in the vine of your tongue, struggling to get away as he screams for help. When your jaws snap shut the man is silenced. You spit out the remains of his face onto the ground beside you like discarded gum.
“Holy shit!” says Wade. You squeak when you realise he’s caught the reflection of you, covering your mouth with both hands as it returns to its normal soft, kissable line.
“Oh no!” you whisper. Wade dispatches the last guy who’s running for him with a well-aimed bullet before coming to gather you in his arms.
“Baby, hey, it’s okay!” he says quickly when it’s obvious that you’re about to cry. You look up at him with glistening eyes.
“But Wade, I look so ugly,” you manage, “I thought… if you saw… you might not want to…”
Be with me any more, are the words which hang unspoken in the air. Wade guffaws.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Babe, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen!”
Your eyebrows crease together in confusion. He wants to use his thumb to smooth it out, but instead chooses to wipe a tear off your face.
“Yeah?”
“Of course! Shit, you’ve got that fuckin’ Venom thing going on? Like Mileena from Mortal Kombat but sexier? Come on, I’d be a fool if I wasn't rocking a semi right now!”
This makes you laugh properly, from your stomach, and all your worry is forgotten.
“I shouldn’t have worried…” you sigh when you get your wits back.
“Nah, of course not. You’ll always be my boo, okay?”
You grin up at him, before an idea very clearly crosses your mind.
“Oh! That means now I can show you what my tongue can do.”
He isn’t proud of it, but that promise almost makes him cum in the suit.
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castielscaplan · 7 months ago
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The Price of Love (Deanmon)
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Summary: you never knew how far-gone Dean had become.
Warnings: angst, deanmon
WC: 935
Read on AO3!
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The world felt as though it had been shattered.
You stood frozen, staring at Dean’s face—Dean’s demon face, with his blackened, heartless eyes—and it was as though the ground had dropped out from under you. You could barely comprehend the words that had just left his mouth.
The man you loved—the man you had spent years by the side of, fighting, loving, struggling with—was gone.
He wasn’t the same anymore.
Dean Winchester, the man you thought you knew, was now something twisted, something corrupted, something else.
You had seen it in his eyes the moment the change happened. The coldness, the dark glimmer, the sudden absence of the warmth that had once been there. It had started small at first—just a flicker of something wrong—but now, it was undeniable. The demon that had taken him wasn’t just in his body. It had consumed every part of him, every ounce of the man you had loved so deeply.
And you? You had let yourself believe that he still loved you. That he still cared for you, no matter what. After all, you were his family.
But now, standing in front of you, was a monster wearing his face. His voice but twisted with something foreign. “You thought I was in love with you?”
You didn’t want to believe it. You couldn’t.
Dean—your Dean—would never say that.
But the demon inside him had no such qualms.
The demon laughed, a deep, mocking chuckle that made your stomach churn. It was cold, calculated, and it tore through you like a knife.
“You’re pathetic,” the demon spat, voice dripping with disdain. “I never cared about you, not like you think I did. I was just using you, sweetheart. You were convenient. You thought I was your hero, but I was just a warm body to keep you occupied.”
The words cut through you like a blade, each syllable slicing deeper. Your heart thudded painfully in your chest, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from him.
“You—you lied,” you gasped, your voice trembling, barely able to hold back the tears. “You—you promised me.”
The demon’s smirk grew, and the sight made your blood run cold. “Promises? You’re as naive as he was. I don’t owe you anything. Not a single damn thing.”
His words were venom, and yet they felt like a slap to your very soul. You could feel the truth of them sinking in, the unbearable weight of everything you had believed being ripped away. The love you thought was real, the trust you had placed in him, the future you had imagined with him—all of it was a lie.
A lie that had been hidden behind that perfect smile, behind that gentle laugh. Behind the man who had held you close and made you feel safe.
But it was all gone now.
You stepped back, as if the physical distance might somehow create a space between you and the crushing reality. You tried to steady yourself, but your legs felt like they could no longer support you. The pain was suffocating, a heavy weight that pressed on your chest, stealing the breath from your lungs.
“You’re not him,” you whispered, more to yourself than to the demon.
“No, I’m not,” the demon agreed smoothly, its eyes gleaming with something dark and cruel. “And I never will be again.”
“Please… please, just let me go.”
The words spilled out in desperation, your voice breaking on the last word. You wanted to run. You wanted to escape the hellish reality in front of you, to wake up from this nightmare where the love of your life was gone, replaced by something evil.
But the demon just smirked again, its eyes narrowing.
“Where are you going to go, sweetheart? No one’s coming to save you.”
You flinched as his words dug deep, but you couldn’t look away. The emotional toll was unbearable, but a part of you still longed for him—the man who used to be Dean. The part of you that clung to the hope that somewhere, deep down, the real Dean was still in there, fighting to break free from the demon’s grasp.
But it was all just a fantasy now.
Dean had been gone for so long, and all that remained was this… thing in his place.
Without thinking, you stepped forward, your voice trembling with what was left of your courage. “I loved you. I would have done anything for you.”
The demon’s eyes flickered with something you couldn’t quite place, a brief flash of something familiar before it was gone again. For a moment, there was an almost human-like hesitation in his gaze, as though he was remembering something.
But then, it was gone, and the demon’s expression hardened once more.
“And I never asked you to,” it said coldly.
You closed your eyes, swallowing the sob that was threatening to break free. You wanted to scream, to beg for Dean back, but there was no one left to hear you.
The demon gave you a final look, a smirk still playing on his lips. “You were never important. Just another casualty. Get used to it.”
And then, before you could even react, he was gone.
You stood alone in the empty room, the silence deafening. The weight of his words crushed you, and with it, the realization that you had been nothing more than a tool, a distraction.
You thought you were loved. You thought you mattered.
But it was all a lie.
And now, all you could do was pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and figure out how to survive in a world where the man you had loved—Dean Winchester—was lost to you forever.
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please be kind and leave feedback & a reblog!
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katerina-marie · 1 year ago
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The Uncertainty of Domesticity
Toji Fushiguro x Female Reader
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 of 3
Toji Fushiguro wasn’t afraid of much, though he definitely felt so when he became a widower in the same moment he became a father. Years later, he felt it again when you came along with the same hopes and dreams for a future he never thought he would experience again.
Content: JJK universe but no canon events / strangers & neighbors to lovers / medium burn idk / female reader and referred to as such but left descriptively vague / no y/n / out of character and soft Toji / single-father Toji / SFW (for this part anyway) / Megumi-Mama/Mamaguro dies in childbirth and its mentioned once or twice / cutie pie child Megumi / fluff / slice of life / light angst from Toji's inner turmoil / discussions about having children / pregnancy and childbirth for reader in part 3 (pending) / more notes below.
WC: 6.1k
Notes: I just really wanted to see Toji "I'm doing my best at this single-dad thing" Fushiguro raise Megumi, fall in love again and get a happy ending, so here is me indulging myself. This isn't so much Toji struggling to move on from his late wife as it is him meeting you and then being scared about having a future with you taken away. But not as angsty as it sounds, very much fluff and vibes and snippets of goodness. Also, I am clearly taking liberties with JJK canon, so just go with it.
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Toji Fushiguro wasn’t afraid of much.
He wasn’t afraid of what went bump in the night, not when he was the one who hunted it once and was maybe a part of it himself in days long gone. 
He wasn’t afraid when he tied himself to the woman he loved in law and name. Trepidation might have jolted Toji awake on a rare night, and the desire to keep her protected from the past of himself gave him the urge to flee on occasion. The balm of her touch and the promise of a new blessing that grew within her stayed his limbs.
Shock muffled all the sound around him as he held the new life she had given him while her’s slipped away in a rush of blood and the shouting of doctors. A nurse helped him collapse into a hospital chair and took the baby from his arms when the growing pool of dark red on the floor—something Toji had once been accustomed to—swallowed his whole field of vision until he saw nothing else. Desperation spread numbness over his body and allowed a high pitched whine to echo in his ears when the flurry of movement in the room came to a slow stop, and a white sheet was dragged over the face of a woman now gone. 
Pressure threatened to cave his chest and Toji curled over his knees to gape wildly at the floor as he struggled to pull in any strangled breath that he could manage. He felt hollow, devoid of anything and one wrong move away from shattering in place. Tears burned his eyes as he clenched them shut, and it was fear that suddenly set in when grief stole any hopes for an optimistic future and left in its wake a bitter vision of unwanted loneliness. 
Toji Fushiguro wasn’t afraid of much, but now he would never again doubt that he was capable of feeling so.
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5.5 Years Later 
Toji didn’t particularly like having to stop at the grocery store on his way home from work once he picked Megumi up from school. His normally even-keeled son had a penchant for acting up when it came to ensuring that his father put into their basket every sugar heavy, grease laden, and all around unhealthy snack upon his immediate request. Toji would spend the entire time fielding incessant demands while silently praying that he would be able to grab whatever assortment of items he needed for the next couple of days before Megumi descended into an even fouler mood than normal. 
So no, Toji had no intention of going to the store after spending the day at some nondescript high school with an absurdly long name that Megumi would one day attend. His threshold for tolerating tantrums was low after hours of offering his “legal” and “non-life threatening” expertise to a bunch of teenagers with attitudes equivalent to his five year old. Specifically, there was one white-haired punk with a big mouth that somehow managed to push all of his buttons, and by the end of every work day, Toji was eager to return to the sanctuary of his home. 
At least that had been his plan until Megumi opened his mouth. 
“Dad?” he questioned. Toji hummed an answer, but didn’t let his focus wander from the lull of the road in front of him. “Why do all the other kids have moms but I don’t?” 
Megumi’s words were spoken quietly, tentatively, but they struck Toji in the heart just as painfully as he always anticipated they would, and he suddenly wished he had taken the time to read a book or something in preparation for this day—the inevitable question. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Megumi was silent, but when Toji flicked his gaze to the rearview mirror, his son’s eyes were waiting and all too perceptive. 
“I…uhm.” 
Toji had to swallow once, twice, a third time to try and wet his tongue and force his throat to work, and by the time he felt he had composed himself enough, Megumi was peering around the side of his car seat to watch out the window. 
“Can we stop and get some snacks and ice cream instead?” 
Toji was in no state to deny him, so he flicked on his blinker with a resigned sigh. “Sure, why not?”
Twenty minutes later had him remembering “why not.” 
“Can we please go get that bag of chips now?” Megumi tugged on the leg of his pants for the fifth time in the last two minutes, and the edge of his voice was turning petulant. Toji was struggling to recall the list of groceries he had left on the side of the fridge, and as he scanned the wall of meat at the back of the store, he squinted in the lackluster hope that he could remember if he had scribbled “chicken” underneath “green onions.” 
“I said to give me a few more minutes, Megumi. We’ll go in second.” Toji curled his fists around the handle bar of the cart and he felt it reverberate when Megumi kicked at the wheel. “Do you remember if we had chicken in the freezer?” 
He looked down at his son who was already looking up at him with wide eyes, and Toji grunted as he took in the suspicious stains on his buttoned up black uniform, the one untied shoelace on his left foot, and then decided that despite Megumi’s unusual habits for a child his age, maybe assuming he would remember a random hunk of meat deep in the freezer was asking too much for a kid only halfway to six. 
“Now can we go get the chips?” 
Toji had to take in a deep breath and close his eyes to count to ten before feeling calm enough to answer. “Just give me a second. Please.” 
It was Megumi’s turn to huff, and he took a step away to spin in slow circles as Toji looked back at the meat selection. He took a minute to mumble through what he could remember from his list and then weighed the options of having to come back to the store if there wasn’t chicken in the freezer, or buying another pack anyway but then losing space if there did happen to be some already in there. Ultimately, Toji decided to just get another package of chicken and threw it into the cart. 
“Alright, Kid,” he said, angling his head to look over his shoulder at his son, “now we can—Megumi?” 
Toji cut off abruptly when he realized the space his son had previously occupied was now empty. He swiftly scanned the open floor of the store for that familiar spiky black hair, but could only see a few random parents and various elderly getting their weekly groceries. Toji figured Megumi had made haste for the chip aisle, but panic still quickened his heart nonetheless, and he hurried off to find him. 
“Megumi!” he whisper-shouted, trying to keep his voice low to be mindful of other patrons, but Toji was growing more nervous every time he leaned over the front of his cart to duck his head down an aisle, only to find it empty of his son. The kid had short legs and Toji’s back was only turned for a minute, but he was struggling to believe Megumi could vanish that quickly. 
“Megumi!” he said a little louder. He looked up at the indicator signs hanging at the end of each aisle, and when he caught a glimpse of the one containing the chips just two away, he lengthened his steps and opened his mouth to call for him again. 
“Alright, Megumi.” Toji heard a voice addressing his son before he was able to round the corner. “You promised me you would tell me what your dad looked like if I got the bag of chips for you off the top shelf. Now, let’s go find him, okay? I’m sure he’s worried about you.” 
When Toji did finally swerve his cart into the aisle, he was met with the sight of you squatted down in front of Megumi as he clutched a bag of chips to his chest. He could see your side profile, acknowledged how striking it was, and took in the heels on your feet and the fine-pressed material of your business clothes, but had little other attention for you before making sure his son was alright. Megumi caught sight of him first, and when he pointed at him you followed his finger, and Toji saw your eyes widen at his approach. He paid you no mind though, grateful when you had the sense to take a step back in order to not get in between a worried father and his child, and he wrapped his arms around Megumi when he crouched down in front of him. 
“What have we talked about, Megs?” Toji stressed. He released Megumi from where he had clutched him against his chest so he could look him in the eye. His tone wasn’t harsh, but it was stern in its urgency and firmness. “You don’t walk off without telling me, you hear? Don’t do that again.” 
The little boy nodded, and his head drooped slightly in response to being scolded. The sight of his downturned lips plucked at Toji’s frayed nerves, and he lifted a hand to ruffle Megumi’s hair in an attempt to soften the moment. 
The clicking of your heels had him noticing you again, and Toji looked up to see you leaning down to grab your basket, body already half-turned away from him, and he stood to his full height at the same time you straightened. 
“Thank you,” he said, and you went still. “I’m sorry if he inconvenienced you, but I appreciate you taking the time to help him.” Toji rubbed a hand against the back of his neck when your cheeks rounded into a friendly smile. 
“He was no trouble at all,” you said, and while your tone was kindly neutral, Toji didn’t doubt the genuineness of your words. “Megumi was very polite.” 
His son shuffled his feet when you turned your attention on to him, and Toji caught the tint of pink that flushed the back of his neck and ears. 
He chuckled and patted his shoulder gently. “Well, that’s good to hear.” He hesitated a moment, using the pause to further take in the style of your hair and the way your eyes twinkled under the harsh fluorescents of the grocery store, then held his hand out as he took a step forward. “I’m Toji.” 
You met his hand halfway, shaking it twice as you gave him your name, and when the two of you separated, there wasn’t quite as much distance between you as there had been moments ago. 
“I don’t think I would have had any trouble finding you,” you giggled, and though your voice was sweet and your eyes crinkled in something that maybe could’ve been flirtatious, Toji thought you looked just a bit shy in the way you rocked gently on your toes and held your basket down in front of your legs so you could bump it off your knees absentmindedly. 
You didn’t present yourself forwards to him or tilt your head in a way that was meant to entice, and while Toji couldn’t ignore how pretty you were or the way you had let your eyes quickly take in his height and the breadth of his shoulders (he didn’t think it was his imagination when you lingered on the scar in the corner of his mouth) he was grateful you maintained an air of simple friendliness.
You motioned towards Megumi with a flutter of your hand. “The resemblance is uncanny.” 
Toji hoped his answering grin wasn’t strained. There was no denying how similar he and Megumi looked, from the shared black hair and angled jaw to how he had been told that the two of them even scowled the same. It warmed his heart to know his son looked like him, but it also brought with it a strange sense of disappointment that he had to search so hard to find his late wife’s features since they were mostly obscured by his own. Toji wasn’t sure which way he would rather have it. Each sounded equally painful, to not notice her much at all in Megumi, or to be struck in the face with the ghost of her every time he looked at his son.
“Yeah,” Toji said, “so I’ve heard.” 
When your grin faltered slightly at the corners, Toji worried that he hadn’t done as good of a job concealing the hurt in his voice. You studied him a moment longer before your eyes darted over his shoulder and then off towards another aisle as one of your legs slid backwards. 
“I’ll, uh, let the two of you get going.” You smiled again at him and offered a small wave to Megumi from where he was mostly hidden behind his father’s legs. “It was nice to meet the both of you.” 
Toji nodded in agreement and Megumi sent back his own tiny shake of a hand before you each turned to go your separate ways. A little twinge in his chest made him wonder if he was missing out on something, but the window of opportunity already seemed to have passed. Once you were gone, Toji looked down at his son and tapped the top of his head to get his attention.
“I’ll let you push the cart, but you have to promise to never run off again, you hear me?” 
Megumi immediately whipped his head up to stare awe-struck at Toji as he awaited confirmation, and after a nod from his father, he scrambled to get in between Toji and the cart, hands up and fingers just barely curling around the handle. Toji offered some guidance, but for the most part, he let his son do the work as they finished gathering the last of their items. 
All in all, the rest of the trip remained uneventful, and Toji even felt a modicum more confident in grocery store endeavors as he directed Megumi to turn towards the checkout area at the end of the last aisle. That was until, in his eagerness, Megumi yanked the cart abruptly around the corner without bothering to check if anyone was approaching and promptly rammed the opposite end into your legs when you appeared from the other side. 
Toji wanted to die a little as he watched you teeter on your heels while you flailed a hand out to regain your balance, and he was too far away to be able to close the distance in enough time to stabilize you, no matter how much he wanted to. However, in an impressive feat of gracefulness, you managed to right yourself at the last moment, grasping the edge of their cart with the hand that wasn’t holding your own basket. 
“Megumi,” Toji growled through his teeth, slowly enunciating every syllable of his name, and the little boy actually looked chagrined for once. 
“I’m alright,” you reassured him, laughter catching the tail end of your words, and Megumi scattered between his father’s legs when you grinned down at him. “It’s nice to run into you again, Megumi.” 
Toji dragged a palm down his face and embarrassment made the back of his neck feel hot. “I’m so sorry. Again.” 
“Really,” you insisted, “it’s okay.” You couldn’t lie and convince yourself that you weren’t glad to run into the cute little boy with an undeniably attractive father. But, even though there wasn’t a wedding ring on Toji’s finger, it didn’t mean there wasn’t a woman waiting for them at home, and that was enough to keep your behavior completely platonic. 
With the realization that the three of you stood in the middle of the walkway staring at one another, you glanced down at their cart and then off to the right where the checkout was before turning back to them and tossing your hand back in that general direction. 
“Are you guys ready to checkout? There’s a lane open at the end.” 
The three of you ended up in line together behind another customer who had managed to sneak in right before you got there, but it allowed for conversation to flow. You learned that Toji was an instructor at a school just outside the city and that Megumi was in his first year of kindergarten. The boy took a liking to animals, and when you asked about Toji’s hobbies while you paid for your groceries, he only shrugged, but Megumi had chosen that moment to speak up for him. 
“He likes to play with cards and money.” His voice rang loud and clear in the space of the store. Your face lit up in surprise and maybe just a hint of wariness, and Toji nearly dropped the pack of chicken he’d been loading onto the register. Even the employee in front of you three sniggered until Toji cut his eyes towards him. 
He’d have to be a lot more careful about what he joked with Shiu about on the phone when he thought Megumi wasn’t listening. 
“He means Monopoly, like board games or something,” Toji rushed out, and he didn’t think he sounded very convincing, but you didn’t ask for clarification and he caught you stifling a laugh as you turned to grab your groceries. He used the chance of your back being to them to pin Megumi with an exasperated grimace, but the boy was too proud of himself to care. 
“If you want,” Toji offered, taking note of the bags you held in both hands while you stood waiting for them at the end of the cash register, “you can put your stuff in our cart and we’ll take it out. An apology for almost running you over.” He felt a little ridiculous when you cocked your head in consideration, wondering if what he said was out of turn, but it vanished when you set your things at the front of their cart with a smile. 
“I’d appreciate it.” 
He followed out after you, just barely remembering to grab his receipt from the cashier who somehow had the gall to waggle his eyebrows at him, but Toji pointedly ignored the gesture. 
Once outside, he lifted Megumi into the cart to keep him contained while he helped you load your groceries into your car. While the two of you made light conversation, the same nagging feeling that something was about to slip through his fingers itched at the back of his mind. However, Toji had no idea what to do about it. At least, not while Megumi sat watching the two of you, and he certainly couldn’t ask you to wait until after he got his son into his car two lanes over while under the heat of July.
In the end, nothing happened, and Toji was caught off guard by the disappointment he felt when he and Megumi finally got themselves situated in the car. It stayed with him as he drove and tried to keep up with whatever Megumi was chattering about. It plagued him with the images of your smile and what your face might have looked like if he had managed to ask for your phone number. Disappointment had Toji realizing with a shake of his head that he wanted to ask for your phone number because he had wanted to see you again, and that hadn’t happened with a woman—despite the opportunities—since meeting his late wife. It sat heavy in his gut, and he figured it would ease away on its own in however much time it took him to forget about you.
At least, that’s what Toji had thought until he realized that the car that just turned in front of his onto his street was newly familiar and currently parking in front of a house across the road and two doors down from his. He quickly did the same and stepped out of his car with bated breath. You emerged out of yours a second later, and this time he raised his hand in greeting. 
“You live here,” he called as you crossed the street and came to a stop at the edge of his small driveway. If Toji hadn’t been so stupefied by the turn of events, maybe something a little more eloquent would have come out of his mouth.
“For about a week now,” you told him, glancing back at his door as if you were waiting for something. Toji realized that he’d been so busy with work the last couple days that he hadn’t really paid any attention to the comings and goings of any of his neighbors, because surely he wouldn’t have missed you otherwise. “The house was left by a distant family member, but I didn’t have any use for it until my job transferred me here last month.”
“Oh, well, this is ours,” he said, gesturing backwards to his own home. “It’s just me and Megumi.” Toji saw your eyes flash with what he thought was interest, and maybe you confirmed it when you took a couple steps closer to lean against the tail end of his car.
“I guessed that was the case when you got out. You don’t seem like the type to follow home a woman you just met.” You arched one of your eyebrows playfully. “At least not with your son in the car.” 
That got a chuckle out of him, and Toji shrugged nonchalantly. “Not anymore, no.” 
Tentative excitement skittered over his spine when a laugh popped out of your mouth unbidden, and even though you tried to hide it with your hand and turned your head towards your house to shake it in amused disbelief, Toji still spied the way you peeked at him from the corner of your eye. 
“Well,” you said, a little breathless, “I’m going home to make dinner. Have a good evening, neighbor.” The fingers of your right hand wiggled in his direction as you spun around to walk back to your house, and Toji fought to clear the grin he felt stretching the scarred skin of his lip as he opened the car door and ducked inside to grab Megumi. 
-----------------------
Over the next month or so, most of Toji’s interactions with you remained frustratingly surface level. You’d holler a greeting to him on the mornings you saw him carrying a struggling Megumi to the car, already ten minutes late and praying his son had a pair of matching shoes on. He could do nothing but shout back as you got into your own car to leave for work. Other times, he’d wave at you as he drove to the store while you stood out watering the few pots of flowers sitting by your door. Once, when you had arrived home from work a little later in the day than normal, you had walked over to say ‘hello’ when you saw him and Megumi outside tossing a baseball. You hadn’t bothered going inside to change out of your slacks and blouse, and Toji had been thoroughly impressed when you ended up being able to chase a ball around with them while still in your heels. 
Ultimately, Toji hadn’t quite decided if you’d react reciprocatively to him or not if he just showed up with a knock on your door to ask you out or get your phone number or any other romantic-adjacent task that he would surely end up making a fool out of himself with should he do it. In an effort to ensure he didn’t irreparably damage a perfectly good neighborly relationship, he refrained from doing anything more than exchanging smiles and conversation when the two of you came into contact with each other. Toji was determined to wait for a bit more interest on your end before he committed to doing anything. 
Alas, in the late morning of a Friday that just so happened to be a government holiday, meaning there wasn’t a job for the two of you to go to, Toji caught sight of you staring up at some wooden decoration that sat at the top pitch of your house’s entryway. He and Megumi had just stepped outside to play. There was a bucket of dark stain sitting next to your foot, and you had a paint brush in hand to go with the shorts and ratty t-shirt you had on. 
Never one to miss an obvious opportunity, Toji grabbed Megumi by the hand and walked him down the street to your house. Once he was close enough, he called out to grab your attention. 
“Need help with that?” 
You spun around abruptly, clearly caught unaware by him (Toji suspected that had more to do with something on his part than yours), but you smiled bashfully nonetheless as you glanced at him and then back to the spot above your door. “I didn’t think so originally, but it seems a lot higher up now that I actually look at it.” 
When you glanced back at him, your eyes were beseeching and your lip was snagged between your teeth, and Toji knew in that second you could’ve gotten away with asking him anything you wanted to. 
He smirked and gave you a nod of his head to confirm his assistance. After a quick discussion about where your ladder was—only to find out you didn’t have one—and a trip back to his house so Toji could grab the one there, he was up and brushing the stain to the wood as you and Megumi observed from below. 
“I really do appreciate it,” you told him, eyeing the way a muscle in his arm flexed with every stroke of the brush. “I think I would’ve had trouble reaching it, even after I would have had to go buy a ladder to do it.” 
His chuckle drifted down to you and the depth of it was exceedingly pleasant to your ears. Movement from behind you forced your gaze from Toji, and you looked back to check on Megumi as he wandered off to peer curiously at your potted flowers. When you decided the little boy was probably harmless to the defenseless flowers, you turned back to Toji and nearly choked on your tongue at the picture he made. 
He was up on the tips of his toes with his arm extended in order to reach the top section of wood he needed to, and the movement lifted up the hem of his black t-shirt. You couldn’t help but take in the pale strip of skin now exposed, nor could you ignore the sharp angles of Toji’s hips and the trail of black hair that ran down under his belly button and disappeared into his pants. As your study took you upwards, you noticed how sweat made the fabric cling to every dip of muscle in his chest, and for the first time in your life, you came to the realization that sometimes more clothing could be just as sensuous as the lack thereof. 
Belatedly, you became aware of how hard you were staring (ogling) him, and you wrenched your focus off his torso to somewhere safer, this time his face. However, to your absolute mortification, Toji already had his eyes on you, and based on the way the green of them gleamed in mischievousness, you knew he had caught you. With your skin suddenly flashing both hot and cold, you sputtered an excuse about getting Megumi a drink before fleeing for the sanctuary of your kitchen, but not before you snatched the little boy’s wrist on the way in to drag him with you. You ignored the way you heard Toji cackling from all the way from inside.
-----------------------
At the beginning of autumn, about three months after moving into your new home, the weather had begun to cool down enough that you could open your windows in the afternoon. You sang to yourself as you fixed a snack in your kitchen, and the neighborhood had been quiet enough that nothing had yet disturbed your relaxing Saturday. 
That remained true until a light knock at your front door echoed in your kitchen. You set down the fruit you were cutting in favor of grabbing a towel to wipe your hands on and then hurried to the front door. You paused briefly at the mirror in your hallway to ensure you looked presentable in case a certain dad with the clearest green eyes you had ever seen happened to be on the other side. When you did answer the door, it was indeed a Fushiguro, but one of a much smaller stature than his father.
You weren’t necessarily a stranger to them anymore. Since moving in, when you or them happened to be outside at the same time, you usually ended up chatting or playing ball or something equally mundane when your schedules allowed for it. Toji had spent an afternoon repairing a gaping hole in your fence a couple weeks after staining the wood above your door—you very intentionally made sure to keep your eyes neck-level and above that time around—and you had knocked on their door one Sunday to deliver a plate of homemade cookies after you had watched Megumi sprain his ankle playing outside the day prior. 
So no, it wasn’t quite out of the realm of possibility for a little boy with hair that seemed to defy gravity to appear at your door, but you couldn’t say you had been expecting it to happen either, especially not without his father in tow.
“Hi, Megumi,” you greeted, looking down at him as he scuffed his feet shyly against your welcome mat. “Is everything alright?”
He nodded, not saying anything for a moment before blurting out, “do you have any snacks?”
The question caught you off guard, and you leaned forward out your door to check and see that Toji’s car was still in the driveway. “I certainly do, but is your dad not home?” You obviously weren’t a parent yourself yet, but even you knew that five and half years old was still too young for a child to be left home alone. 
“He is,” Megumi said flatly, and his nose scrunched in disdain. “But he fell asleep on the couch and I’m hungry.” 
You muffled a snort of surprise against your palm and stepped aside to let the little boy in. “I’m happy to share a snack with you, Megumi, but we need to let your dad know where you are.” You considered what to do for a moment as you led him to your kitchen. 
“Do you know his phone number? I’ll call and let him know you’re here.”
 Megumi only shook his head.
“Okay, well…why don’t you sit at the table and eat a couple pieces of fruit, but then I’m taking you back home.” 
He seemed content with your answer and quickly made his way to the table to scramble into a chair as you brought a plate of fruit to him. You were about to ask him how his day had been when you heard a door slam through your window, followed by Toji bellowing Megumi’s name. 
The two of you shared a startled look, both of you now anticipating a possible scolding, and you spun around to dash out your front door. When you made it a couple steps outside, Toji was looking down the sidewalk in your opposite direction.
“Toji!” you called. He whipped his head in your direction and your heart broke at the franticness of his features. “He’s here! He’s okay!” 
His shoulders fell in relief, and as he started to cross the street with those long strides of his, it occurred to you that Toji wasn’t wearing anything other than a pair of grey sweats on his lower half. He was all toned muscle and smooth skin, and between his towering height and the grim set of his mouth, you weren’t sure if you were more intimidated by him or attracted to him, though perhaps those went hand in hand at times like this.
As he strode up your driveway, a small squeak left your mouth and you stumbled back a step to try and maintain the distance Toji was eating up. “I’m sorry, he got here only five minutes ago and I was going to come get—,” 
You were cut off when he lowered himself down to encircle your shoulders with his arms and brought you into his chest for a hug that seemed like it was more for his benefit than yours. You could see just a sliver of what was behind him from over the top of his shoulder and when your hands landed on his back, you were shocked at the heat that radiated off of him. He smelled faintly of some generic shampoo, but it managed to be thrilling nonetheless, and you noted how firm he felt in every point of contact between your bodies. When Toji pulled away—entirely too soon in your opinion—his face was full of gratitude. 
“Thank you,” he said, and sincerity coated every word. If the suddenness of his body against yours hadn’t spiked your heart rate, then the emotion in his voice and the way his eyes stayed locked on yours certainly did. 
“Oh, no,” you insisted, waving your hands between the two of you, “there’s nothing to thank me for! I’m sorry I didn’t let you know sooner and made you worry. I was going to call you, but Megumi didn’t know your phone number and I don’t have it—,” 
Toji’s head jerked back slightly. You flushed hot and hoped you hadn’t sounded disappointed at the fact. 
“Anyways, Megumi just wanted a snack and said you had fallen asleep on the couch, so I guess he decided to come over here.” You were out of breath by the time you finished your rushed explanation, and the only thing that brought you any relief was the fact that Toji’s cheeks blushed the faintest shade of pink as he pinched at the back of his neck. 
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he said sheepishly. “I worked late last night and must’ve drifted off while the kid was watching cartoons.” 
His words brought your attention to his face and it was then that you noticed the way the skin under his eyes bruised purple just the slightest, and Toji did indeed look like he needed a nap. 
“It’s no trouble for Megumi to hang out here if you need a break. I’m happy to help,” you offered, dipping your chin and smiling at him.
The circumstances regarding Megumi’s mother hadn’t been told to you yet, and because you didn’t feel the need to pry, you hadn’t asked about it. However, it didn’t take knowing all the details for you to surmise that Toji had been doing the single-father business for most—if not all—of Megumi’s life thus far. 
Astonishment made Toji’s eyebrows jump, but he agreed to the idea after another second and then reached deep into his pocket to fish for something. 
“Here,” he said, holding his phone out to you once he pulled it free from the fabric of his pants. “I meant to do this a while ago.” 
Your heart skipped a beat as you took Toji’s phone from his hand and typed your number into it. When you were finished, you made a call to your own phone, and when your ringtone flowed from the kitchen out the window, Toji’s mouth turned upwards in satisfaction. 
Megumi appeared a moment later to just barely peek his head around your door. Apprehension made his movements slow, and when he caught Toji’s eye, his father’s face darkened. 
“Come ‘ere,” Toji grumbled, waving his hand at his son to beckon him forward. Megumi shuffled out begrudgingly, and you yearned to give the boy a hug, but you figured it wasn’t your place to intervene. Twice now Megumi had snuck out from his father’s (not so) watchful eye, and you had a feeling Toji was about to ensure it didn’t happen again. 
Toji swooped Megumi up into his arm to carry him against his side like a football, and after wishing you their goodbyes, they made their way back across the street. A feeling of joy left by the two of them followed you back into your house, and you made sure to add to your shopping list the brand of chips Megumi had requested your help reaching the first time you had met him.
-----------------------
A/N: Luckily, 90% of this entire story is already written out, so I plan to have it all posted by the end of the week.
If you read this pile of self-indulgence, thank you very much <3
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millermouth · 9 months ago
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The Promise of Us: Chapter 13
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You
You have to admit, it’s surprising how quiet your mind is in this moment. Watching the boys you love stand in the center of the arena, about to fight to the death, you think your mind would race, but there’s only numbness. The snarls of the walker beside you fill your ears, its putrid breath thick in your nose. You can’t tear your eyes away from Daryl. I’m so sorry I got us into this mess.
His gaze finds yours, but his expression is unreadable as he turns back to face Merle.
“Y’all know me,” Merle yells, holding up his hand, a deep frown etched across his face. The crowd roars in response. “I’m gonna do whatever I gotta do to prove—”
Merle’s fist sinks into Daryl’s gut, and Daryl doubles over, collapsing to the ground. Your scream rips through the noise, but your arms are held tight behind you, restraining you in place. You struggle uselessly as Merle presses on.
“That my loyalty,” he kicks Daryl while he’s down, “is to this town!”
The walkers circle closer, their decaying hands reaching toward the brothers as they continue to fight. Punch after punch, Merle ends up on top of Daryl, their hands locked around each other’s throats. You can’t bear to watch—but you can’t look away, either. Every fiber of your being screams out that this isn’t right. They aren’t supposed to be fighting each other like this.
Then, just when it seems like Merle has the upper hand, something shifts. Your heart hammers as Merle yanks Daryl to his feet, and suddenly, they stand back to back, facing the advancing walkers. Your eyes go wide as you realize the change. Daryl’s hands are raised, ready to strike, while Merle leans forward, slicing clean through a walker’s head at the temple. Daryl’s fists crash into another walker’s skull, blood splattering as his knuckles meet bone. The hand gripping your hair tightens painfully, yanking your head back as the Governor watches, a twisted satisfaction on his face. He shoves your face closer to the walker, whether out of cruelty or carelessness, and your heart races wildly in your chest. You grit your teeth, muscles straining as the walker’s rotten breath brushes your skin, its decayed fingers just inches from your face. Your pulse pounds so hard you can barely hear over it.
Gunshots suddenly ring out, shattering the air and sending shockwaves through the arena. The walkers drop one by one, including the one that was about to tear into you. The Governor’s grip on your hair slips, and you collapse forward, barely catching yourself on trembling hands as smoke bombs explode all around you. Your eyes burn from the acrid smoke, your vision blurring, but the panic clawing at your throat won’t let you think clearly.
“Daryl!” you scream, your voice cracking with fear as it tears from your throat, echoing through the chaos. Your chest tightens with desperation, the need to find him more urgent than the breath in your lungs.
“I’m here! I’m here!” Daryl’s rough voice cuts through the haze, and suddenly he’s there, gripping your arms. The solid touch of him feels like an anchor in the storm as he pulls you upright. “Let’s go!”
Your hands shake violently as he releases you, and the world spins in a wild blur. Somewhere nearby, a body hits the ground with a sickening thud. The smoke is so thick it feels like it's choking the life out of you, but then Daryl is back, his silhouette materializing out of the fog, a new crossbow in hand. “Let’s go!” he shouts again, his voice full of urgency. You can see it in his eyes—he's fighting to hold it together, for you.
Your mind barely registers what’s happening when Merle suddenly grabs your wrists, his rough hands sawing through the ropes binding you. The rope snaps free, and for a moment, you’re too stunned to move, your wrists throbbing from the pressure. But Merle doesn't give you a second to breathe—he yanks you forward with a force that nearly knocks you off your feet. The smoke swirls violently around you, thick and suffocating, but through the chaos, a familiar silhouette emerges—Rick. His figure cuts through the haze like a lifeline, his arm waving frantically for you to follow. Without thinking, your legs move, running on instinct, though your body feels like it’s been drained of all energy. Your lungs burn with each breath, the air thick with dust and smoke, and all you can hear is the pounding of your footsteps and the panicked rush of your heartbeat.
With Daryl on one side, Merle on the other, the three of you sprint toward Rick, the nightmarish chaos of the arena fading behind you—but the terror still clenched in your chest like a vice, tightening with every desperate step you take to escape the madness at your back.
❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥
You reach the outskirts of Woodbury, lungs burning, chest heaving, every step feeling heavier as you push forward. The walls loom behind you, the distant shouts and chaos of the arena fading, but you know you’re far from safe.
“They’re all at the arena, this way!” Merle shouts, his voice cutting through the night air.
“You’re not goin’ anywhere with us,” Rick growls, his voice sharp and furious, glaring at Merle with open distrust.
“You really wanna do this now?” Merle snaps back, his tone just as fiery. The tension between them flares, threatening to slow everything down when you can’t afford it.
Maggie moves to your side, her breath coming fast, a gun in her hand as she looks you up and down. You’re panting hard, hands on your knees. She pulls a knife from her pocket and hands it to you without a word.
You nod, giving her a small, breathless “thanks,” gripping the blade tightly in your hand. It’s small, but it’s better than nothing.
Merle clanks around nearby, scanning the rows of cars lined up against the metal fencing, trying to find a way out. His grunts of frustration grow louder as he pushes at the panels in the fence, the tension of time slipping away gnawing at everyone.
“C’mon!” Daryl calls out from the other side, his voice strained as he motions for everyone to move through the opening in the fence where Merle was able to push through, and your heart skips at the sight of freedom so close—but it’s not over yet.
Just as you rush out of the opening, walkers are on you, drawn by the commotion. Their guttural snarls fill the air, and you react on instinct, lunging forward and driving your knife into the nearest one’s skull. It goes down, but another is right behind it, stumbling closer.
“We ain’t got time for this!” Merle shouts, grabbing your arm and yanking you forward, his grip rough but steady. You barely keep your balance as he pulls you past the walker’s grasp, the knife still clenched tight in your hand, dripping with blood. Your legs burn, your breath ragged, but you push forward, the adrenaline driving you as the sounds of walkers fade into the distance. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the group slows, the immediate danger behind you. 
❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥
Morning light now guides your path back to the road, where the car waits. You spot a woman and Glenn turn at the sound of Rick’s voice as he calls to them. Relief floods you at the sight of Glenn, though his face is swollen and crusted with blood.
As you approach, the tension rises.
“We got a problem here,” Rick says, stepping forward with his hand raised in a gesture of peace. The woman instantly draws her sword, the blade gleaming as it catches the light, and you tense, your hand instinctively going to the knife Maggie gave you. “I need you to back up,” Rick demands, his tone controlled but firm.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Glenn’s voice cracks with fury as he pulls a gun, eyes wild with anger. Daryl grabs your arm, yanking you back as chaos erupts around you. Merle lingers behind, a shadow of trouble while the woman’s panic rises.
“He tried to kill me!” the woman screams, her sword trembling as it points at Rick. Your heart races, and your grip tightens on the knife, unsure of who this woman is, but ready to defend the Dixons—ready to defend Daryl.
“He helped us get out of that place!” you shout, voice shaking with a mix of fear and frustration.
“Yeah, after he beat the shit out of Daryl,” Rick growls, his eyes narrowing as they cut toward Merle.
“We both took our licks, man,” Merle says, as if it were nothing, his voice casual, almost bored. You grind your teeth, the irritation boiling in your chest. Jackass.
“Jackass,” Glenn spits, his gun still aimed at Daryl. Before Merle can get a word in, Rick’s voice thunders over the chaos, shouting in Merle’s face to shut up. The noise of it all feels like it’s closing in on you—voices overlapping, anger erupting, everyone on edge except for you and Merle, who stands beside you, irritatingly calm.
“Get that thing outta my face!” Daryl snarls, swiping at Glenn’s gun. There’s more chaos as everyone is shouting all at once except you and Merle.
Merle chuckles. “Man, looks like you’ve gone native, brother.”
Daryl’s face twists with anger. “No more than you hangin’ with that psycho back there! And what the hell happened to her?” He jerks his head in your direction, his frustration spilling over as he gestures at you.
Merle shrugs like it’s nothing, like the sick game the Governor played didn’t nearly break you. “We just had a little conversation, right, baby?” His voice is flippant, his tone grating against your last nerve. You feel the heat rise in your cheeks, irritation clawing at you, but you nod reluctantly, trying to keep the situation from exploding any further.
“Not his fault,” you mutter, though the words leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Merle’s smugness is the last thing you need right now, but you know any escalation could make this worse.
Daryl glares at you, disbelief mixed with frustration, but his focus shifts back to Merle, his jaw clenched tight with anger. Merle doesn’t help matters when he speaks again. “That man’s been with your girlfriend, Andrea,” he says, licking his lips with a knowing smirk, his eyes sliding toward the woman across the group.
Your patience snaps. You slap him on his face, the sound cracking through the tense air. “Shut up, Merle. This isn’t the time.”
For a moment, everything stops. The group falls silent, the tension thick enough to choke on. Glenn’s eyes widen, the shock evident on his face. “Andrea’s in Woodbury?”
“Right next to the Governor,” Daryl growls, his voice rough with anger and frustration.
The woman steps forward again, her sword raised threateningly, but Rick moves in front of her, blocking her advance. “I told you to drop that!” His voice drops, more controlled now, but still firm. “You know Andrea?” he asks, his eyes narrowing, searching for answers. She glares at him, stubborn, but eventually nods.
“Oh yeah,” Merle chimes in, his voice grating on your already frayed nerves. “Cuddled up all winter in the woods, Andrea was so sick she was ‘bout to keel over and die. My Nubian Queen here had two pet walkers. Kind of ironic now that I think about it,”
Your fists clench at his words, and for a second, you feel the surge of anger rising, ready to swing at him again. But Daryl steps in, cutting off your chance. “Shut up, bro!” Daryl snaps, his patience clearly worn thin.
Merle’s expression remains irritatingly smug as he explains how they found Andrea sick, nearly dead. The casual tone in his voice, like he was recounting a stroll in the park, only fuels your frustration.
“Is that why she’s with him?” Maggie asks, her voice sharp with suspicion, cutting through the tension.
“Yeah,” Merle says with a shrug, not bothering to hide his indifference. He turns to Rick, smirking. “So, Sheriff, what now? You’re surrounded by liars, thugs and cowards.”
Rick’s face darkens, his jaw clenching. “Shut up,” he growls, his voice tight with barely contained anger.
But Merle just laughs, the sound harsh and mocking. “Pathetic! All these guns and no bullets,” he sneers, throwing fuel on the fire, knowing exactly how to provoke everyone.
You feel your control slipping, your frustration bubbling over, and before you can even stop yourself, you snap in unison with Daryl. “Merle, shut up!”
The tension skyrockets, the chaos teetering on the edge of breaking, but Merle keeps pushing, his voice cutting through the group like a knife. Just when you think you might snap, Rick moves swiftly. He slams the butt of his gun into the back of Merle’s head with a dull thud. Merle drops to the ground, silence falling over the group like a heavy blanket. For a moment, no one moves, the weight of the tension hanging in the air, the stillness deafening after the relentless noise. You exhale, your body trembling slightly from the pent-up anger and stress.
❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥
“It won’t work,” Rick says, his voice quiet, measured. The silence of the road seems to make his words heavier, hanging in the still morning air.
“It’s gotta,” Daryl shoots back, his eyes hard but laced with the same exhaustion that clings to all of you. The tension sits between them like the mist rising from the cold ground.
“It’ll stir things up,” Rick presses, but Daryl shakes his head.
“The Governor’s probably on the way to the prison right now. Merle knows how he thinks, we could use the muscle.” His voice has that grit, that determination that never wavers when it comes to his brother.
“I’m not having him at the prison,” Maggie cuts in sharply. She’s standing a few feet away, her arms crossed tightly, as if holding herself together. Her eyes flick to you for a moment before locking back on Rick.
“Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol and Beth?” Glenn adds, his voice tight with anger as he steps closer, his eyes burning with all the unspoken things weighing him down.
You grimace, “He ain’t a rapist.”
“Well, his buddy is,” Glenn spits out, quick and sharp.
“They ain’t buddies no more, not after last night,” Daryl counters, his tone defensive, but you can tell he’s holding back the anger that’s simmering under the surface.
“There’s no way Merle’s gonna live there without putting everyone at each other’s throats,” Rick says, his patience wearing thin, his voice growing more impatient.
You feel the conversation unraveling around you. The quiet road, the looming woods, the distant sounds of birds—it all feels too peaceful compared to the storm swirling inside your chest. You press the heels of your palms into your eyes, trying to block it all out for just a moment, to tune out the voices arguing back and forth over Merle and what to do next.
You knew Merle was abrasive, an asshole on the best of days. But after what happened last night, after he turned on the Governor, you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him out here alone. You and Daryl had finally found him, something he’d been talking about for over the past year. Not with the Governor’s men hunting you, possibly already on their way, you needed to stick together. The uncertainty presses down on you, mixing with the overwhelming grief of knowing what’s coming next.
“Merle’s blood,” you hear Daryl say, his voice carrying through the fog of your thoughts.
“No, Merle is your blood,” Glenn argues, his voice cracking. “My blood, my family, is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison.”
You lower your hands from your eyes, and your gaze shifts to Daryl. You see it in his eyes—he’s made up his mind. He’s not leaving his brother. You swallow hard, feeling that sinking realization. Where Daryl goes, you go. The weight of what’s coming presses on your chest like a boulder.
“You’re part of that family,” Rick says softly, looking between you and Daryl. “He’s not.”
“Fine,” Daryl grumbles, glancing at Rick before looking down. “We’ll fend for ourselves.”
“That’s not what I was saying,” Glenn says gently, reaching out with his hand in a gesture of reassurance. But Daryl doesn’t let him finish.
“No him, no me,” Daryl says, finality in his voice.
“And no me,” you add quietly, your voice barely above a whisper, but it cuts through the tension like a blade. Daryl’s eyes glance at you, relief flashing across them before he moves forward. Maggie’s head snaps toward you, her eyes wide with disbelief.
“Y/N, no,” she pleads, stepping forward. “You don’t have to do that.”
You look at Daryl, feeling the silent connection between you, and then back at Maggie. “It was always us three before this,” Daryl says, and you nod, knowing that it’s true.
The road feels cold under your feet, and the woods that surround you seem like a silent witness to the decision you’re about to make. Rick’s eyes are full of grief, the same grief that’s been sitting like a weight in your gut since this argument started. He knows it, too.
“What do you want us to tell Carol?” Glenn asks, his voice strained, not wanting to accept what’s happening.
Daryl hesitates for just a second, his jaw clenching before he answers. “She’ll understand.”
The silence that follows is thick, broken only by the occasional shuffle of feet or the soft rustle of leaves in the wind. Daryl looks at you again, reaching for that unspoken bond between the two of you. You look down, nodding, your heart heavy, knowing there’s no going back now.
“Say bye to Hershel for us,” you whisper, turning to Maggie. The sorrow in her eyes mirrors your own, but there’s no room for argument left.
“Guys!” Glenn shouts, his voice desperate, as if he can still pull you back from the edge. Maggie is saying something, trying to reason with you, but you’ve already made your choice.
Rick jogs up, stopping both you and Daryl. “Hey—hey,” he whispers, his voice low, pleading. “There’s gotta be another way.”
You meet Rick’s gaze, the regret weighing down on you like lead. “I’m sorry, Rick. Don’t ask us to leave him.” You turn away, starting toward the car. Daryl follows without a word, the heaviness in his step matching your own.
Rick is right behind you, still trying to reason. “We started something last night, you realize that, don’t you?” he says to Daryl as he pops the trunk.
But Daryl doesn’t break stride. He looks back at Rick and simply says, “No him, no me. No her.” He pulls his backpack from the car and adds quietly, “That’s all I can say.”
You gather your things from the car in silence, the finality of it hitting you like a wave. The woods feel too quiet now, like they’re closing in, as if even the trees are witnesses to the breaking point of this family.
“Take care of yourself,” you say softly when Daryl quiets, stuffing his pack.
Rick’s voice is tight with emotion as he pleads again. “Y/N, there has to be—”
“No, Rick,” you interrupt, your voice firm, turning to him though your heart is breaking. “There’s not. I’m sorry. Merle is my brother too.” Your eyes are full of sadness, of grief. It feels like a breakup, only worse. “Take care of little Ass-Kicker for us,” you whisper, turning away.
“And Carl,” Daryl adds, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “He’s one tough kid.”
With that, Daryl’s hand finds the small of your back, grounding you in this decision, and the two of you start toward the woods, where Merle waits by one of the trees. The road behind you is quiet now, but you feel the weight of every step as you leave behind the people you’ve fought so hard to survive with.
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tribow · 5 months ago
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So I watched Natsume Yuujinchou
or "Natsume's Book of Friends" for the English title.
I was pleasantly surprised by this one. It's a real nice slice of life anime. I'm writing this as of watching season 1 and I'm absolutely going to continue watching this one.
Anyway what's it about? Youkai! Easy way to hook me in immediately. If you involve youkai (or similar folklore creatures) in a story I'm immediately interested. Even so, despite my strong bias on the subject matter, I promise it's done very well.
The titular character, Natsume, is a highschooler born with the ability to see and interact with youkai. Growing up while being able to see supernatural phenomena while everyone else can't was rough for him. (If you don't know what youkai are, think of Natsume's situation like being able to see ghosts.) His parent's weren't even sure how to deal with him and sent him off to their relatives instead of raising the child themselves.
Natsume's character is defined by his isolation, but also by the few people he has met that has shown him real kindness. His current family earnestly cares about him, but he hides the fact that he can see youkai from them, as he does with everyone. He has learned that doing so will lead to isolation, but ironically hiding what he can see isolates him from other people as well.
However, Natsume's ability isn't unique to himself. His grandmother could also see youkai, and she's infamous for creating the "Book of Friends." This book contains the names of tons of youkai, and with that book, you can essentially control any youkai whose name is written in it. For a long time Natsume would have to deal with some youkai targeting him, and this was why. Having now learned that he has his grandmother's book, Natsume resolves to return the names of youkai.
Why?
Well watch the show. I could sit here and summarize it, but that doesn't make for a good review. The story....or at least season one of the story....focuses on that theme: isolation. It's not just Natsume, but many of the youkai he encounters that deal with it in their own ways. As a result, each episode ends on a pretty bittersweet note.
Isolation comes in many forms; loss, rejection, protection, selfishness, resentment, and much more. People, and in this case, youkai experience it in many ways, but instead of wallowing in its own despair, this anime focuses heavily dealing with it positively.
I appreciate this anime's willingness to show very sad situations and the characters involved are pretty mature about it. I can imagine this anime helping actual people deal with their own struggles with isolation.
Now, that's not this anime's only theme. It would be fairly shallow if that's all it had to say. You got some action, comedy, and drama here or there. There's some nice character development going on as well. I really like how the show is written overall.
I wouldn't say its at a "masterpiece" quality since there are definitely some jumps in logic that happens sometimes. It definitely makes some poor excuses to set up certain scenes, but I can't complain too much. These issues only show up for a few episodes.
Speaking of the episodes, they're all self-contained. There's a linear narrative of course, but every episodes concludes itself and does not inform what happens in the next episode. This made it strangely hard to binge for me since there isn't a hook to keep you watching. I loved the show, but each episodes ends on such a satisfying note I want to do something else and come back to it later. Weird.
Anyway, Brain's Base was animating this one! Y'know these guys really take on a wide variety of stuff huh? Natsume is an interesting one since it's both very laid back and has some action. I wouldn't say Brain's Base went particularly crazy here, but you can see the effort put into a lot of shots. The animation looks good, but it's humble. Nothin real fancy going on, but the visual direction does a great job at conveying this story.
I have a feeling this is one of the shows Brain's Base is proud of, and it's successful too! This anime goes on for several more seasons and I'm pretty excited to keep going with it.
What's real crazy is that I've never heard anyone talk about this anime before. This is good! Real good! I highly recommend this to anybody, even if you have never seen anime before. It's rare that I get to say that because there's usually some caveat to an anime that makes it hard to recommend to anybody, but there's nothing to worry about here! It's good, great even.
Maybe it just couldn't reach a large western audience. It is dealing with youkai after all. That's a shame, but hey, it doesn't mean you can't watch it now! Give it a try!
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feroshgirlsims · 6 months ago
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The Save File Chronicles Catch-Up Post #1
Happy 2025! After a long winter nap, I’ve finally got some chapters ready that will start coming out next week. But since it’s been a while and I’ve got some new followers, I figured it was a good time for a summary post. If you want to dive into the story with the next chapter, this is your guide. 
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Before you embark—
The Save File Chronicles is a “slice of life with a side of bloodshed” story. By that, I mean you should be prepared for occult shit and everyday life drama, along with plenty of violence, bloodshed, and mayhem. Also, sex. This is a paranormal romance about deeply unhinged, morally gray characters who get happy endings.
In other words, mature themes for 18+ with a plot that is wacky, cozy, and sometimes dark. 
It’s totally okay if this is not your vibe, and you want to nope out now! I’m not offended. But if this sounds like your thing, read on. 
The Premise
Our story begins with an excerpt from The Afterlife for Gods and Monsters. In it, Time and her wife, The Universe, welcome a new set of gods and monsters to the great beyond. It’s called The Space Between Universes because there are multiple worlds, each an alternate version of each other—as if someone had multiple save files with the same set of characters… 
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The space between universes isn’t anything so dreamy as the old myths portend. There’s no feeling of weightlessness or enchanting choral music, and certainly, no gossamer hands gently guiding you toward a welcoming light. 
The important thing to know here is that everything dies, including worlds. Each time one does, the Divine Creators shunt off its gods, monsters, and other powerful supernaturals to a special version of the Hereafter while they decide their fate. There is always a new world to be reborn into, but there are no promises about who—
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—Or what you’ll be.
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This time, the Divine Creators welcomed four beings: Alice Martin (the God of Death), Miko Ojo (Fate Itself), William Redding (King of the Vampires), and Vladislaus Straud (Fear Itself) are all processed and sent to a new universe with no memories of their former powers. 
But it is not a world without magic ‌or mystery, and the call to follow the otherworldly is strong. 
The Characters
The Save File Chronicles is a massive story with tons of characters, but the first arc revolves around this group:
Alice Martin is trying hard not to let her ganja habit impede her classes. After surviving an abusive relationship, she finally feels ready to date again and joins Cupid’s Corner. She immediately connects with a deeply odd law school student named Vladislaus Straud. 
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Meanwhile, her best friend and roommate, Miko Ojo, is struggling with the pressure of being a TA, and an intrusive voice that just won’t leave her alone. Mortifyingly, she gets a UTI while hearing her fellow TAs gossip about her in the bathroom.
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Across campus, dying from boredom on a library tour, William Redding uses his boyfriend as an excuse to skip out from under the watchful eye of his socialite mother and politician father. His actual plans, however, involve planning a hookup with a man who isn’t his boyfriend and meeting up with his best friend, Vladislaus Straud. 
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Vlad is new to Cupid’s Corner, too. A self-professed curmudgeon who finds sims and social situations completely overwhelming, he is also trying to put himself out there again after a nasty breakup.
Actually, Jacob’s exact words were that Vlad lacked a conscience and a heart. The first part was accurate, but the second part? The second part filled Vlad with an unending desire to flay open his chest and see if it was true.
Vlad connects with Alice and so the lives of these four “random” sims become entwined. 
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Later, a mysterious fae named Akira Kibo enrolls in classes on an assignment from La Cosa Simstra, a supernatural organized crime family headed up by The Devil Himself, Jacques Villareal. Akira is all the things you’ve heard about the fae: beautiful, cruel, enigmatic—  
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—And a raging asshole who becomes obsessed with Alice and Vlad.
The Plot
We meet our lovely characters as they are making their way through graduate school at Britechester University. Alice is desperate to avoid failing out of school by pulling off a photography project about a secret society on campus. She drags Miko to observe one of their secret meet-ups, and things get…weird as shit.
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The members of the secret society take notice of their two stalkers and give chase. 
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Alice and Miko escape, but not before a nearby werewolf observes the whole situation and reports back to Jacques. 
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Jacques is curious about why the secret society would chase these two sims, but not kill them. He orders Akira to enroll in college and monitor Miko and Alice, hoping to discover some secrets he can use to destroy spellcaster society, which he blames for the death of his wife. 
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Alice vows not to give up on uncovering the secrets of the weird cult on campus, but she has to balance her ambition with her dating life. She agrees to meet with Vlad, who is completely stressed out about the whole thing.
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“I told you. I have a date, and after a series of messages in which she defended her gloriously wrong Tea & Treachery opinions and rebuked my use of the word ‘precipitous’ at least three times, I have decided that she is, in fact, perfect. So I…I don’t want her to be disappointed by me.” 
While Alice and Miko were running from dastardly cloaked figures, he was easing his boredom by causing chaos at Lairs and Llamas. During the game, he purposefully picks a fight with William’s boyfriend, Christopher. After being chastised and helping his sister bury the body of an intruder, he spends the week stressing over what to wear.
Eventually, the date happens, and Vlad and Alice discover that while they are both complete weirdos, they are weirdos in a way that works for both of them. 
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“If you had any supernatural power, what would it be?” “Paralyzing sims with fear and the ability to become a sentient mist so I could leave any conversation.” He taps a finger to his lip, “And enough strength to crush someone’s bones.” “Messy,” Alice giggles. “What are you gonna do with all that bone dust?”
They decide to keep dating and depart the record store they were hanging out in with no idea that the sim Alice thought was stalking them was the ghost of a dead student who had been missing for months. 
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They also didn’t notice Akira carefully stalking them and using his glamour to hide his tracks. Akira confronts the ghost of the dead student, hoping to get details about what Vlad and Alice discussed. It goes poorly because, as previously mentioned, Akira is an asshole. 
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He leaves and takes a call from his sister, Titania (yes, that Titania), and is subsequently struck by supernatural lightning because, as everyone knows—
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Miko and William, meanwhile, are dealing with their own drama. William’s boyfriend breaks up with him after the fight with Vlad (partially because of the fight, partially because of the booty calls with sims that aren’t him). 
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The size of William’s ego makes this difficult to process.
Miko is cracking under the pressure, as well. After nearly passing out from her UTI, her fellow TA, Emmett Pollock, helps her recover. 
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The voice in her head becomes slightly more supportive after that, encouraging her to spend more time with Emmett, stay the hell away from Vlad, and informs her she is not a sim. 
It's the perfect time for a run-in with Akira who doesn’t look or act like any sim Miko ever met. 
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Coincidentally, Emmett shows up again, and Akira disappears. Grateful for the intervention, and feeling a little crush, she goes for coffee with Emmett and accepts his help to get a job at an Apothecary Shop in Glimmerbrook.
The run-in with Miko freaks Akira out too, or at least makes him frustrated. A fae’s glamour is impenetrable, and he can’t figure out how she saw through it.
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It doesn’t help that he had the strangest dream about two women calling themselves Time and the Universe. He made some sort of deal with them to be reborn into this world, but the details are hazy and make little sense. 
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The next morning, Akira finds Alice poking around in his backyard. After confronting her over her dangerous method of getting photos of a poisonous plant, he agrees to spend the afternoon with her on campus. 
He can’t deny the way he feels drawn to her, possessive even, and so even though it breaks every rule he has in place to protect himself, he makes a promise to her. 
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It’s a promise to watch a dumb-ass reality tv show, but still, he’s desperate to see her again. 
After fighting a pack of goblins and running down a sim in the Devil’s debt, he pops over to Henford-on-Bagley to observe his other obsession: Vlad.
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Maybe familiarity is what draws him to Vladislaus. Akira finds him beautiful in a way that’s very different from Alice. She’s all sunshine and fire with curls he wants to wrap around his fingers and lips he wants to bite. But Vladislaus is like the fae—compelling but dangerous. Even with a black eye, he’s so unnaturally pretty that his features seem to be arranged wrong. 
Akira is sure that he is using his glamour, but unbeknownst to him, Vlad sees right through it.
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Seeing a supernatural creature sends Vlad into a spiral.
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Getting Vlad out of his obsessive tailspin is a strange process. His father and grandfather hunt him in the woods with actual weapons. 
They tell him he needs a boss to keep him from burning the world to the ground. 
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And Vlad’s attitude toward injuries is odd, too:
Once, someone broke the shank of a screwdriver off in his arm. He could have just let it disappear, but his parents were insistent, so like everything else that he does because it's “what sims do,” he sliced open his bicep and dug it out. 
He returns to campus after his breakdown and immediately seeks Alice and offers to help her with research about the secret society. When she makes a joke about being his boss, Vlad decides that she should definitely be in charge. 
The delight etched across Alice’s face at the idea of being in charge of him is enough to send Vlad into the stratosphere. It also spawns a fantasy that makes his pulse race. Something inside him unwinds and stretches. It wraps fingers around his rib cage and peers out past his heart, pleased and bound.  “Yes, I do very well with specific instructions. Feel free to demand whatever you want.” 
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And now you’re caught up!
Obviously, this isn’t every single detail, but it should let you jump in when Chapter 9 comes out later this week. We’ll be picking up right where things left off in the room with Vlad getting his…uh…boss. 
If you’re interested in reading everything in order, you can start here. 
If you want to read about Jacques Villareal and La Cosa Simstra’s feud with the spellcasters as a standalone, you can read it here.
And last but not least, I release side stories about households outside of my current set of main characters. If they become relevant to the plot, I link them, but otherwise, they are just a glimpse into the world outside of these lunatics I write about.
Although if you read them, you’ll end up with insights that our main characters don’t have. You can check them out here. 
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abdlgirl25 · 5 months ago
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Chapter One
I was crazy—I had to be. There was no other explanation for sitting in my car at the edge of the property, staring at the imposing Victorian estate as if it might swallow me whole. The manor was breathtaking, its grandeur demanding attention even from my sleep-deprived, caffeine-fueled haze. It looked more like a home for royalty than an institution. The massive three-story structure was built from cold gray stone that seemed both unyielding and timeless, the kind of place that bore witness to countless untold stories. It should have felt ominous, yet there was something oddly inviting about it, as though it held secrets it was ready to share with those brave enough to enter.
Wrought-iron windowpanes, blackened with age, framed each window, reflecting the faint morning light in fractured patterns. A spire jutted into the sky, its sharp silhouette slicing through the wispy clouds above. The vaulted roofline and sweeping arches were softened by cascades of wisteria that wrapped around the stone walkway, their purple blooms swaying gently in the breeze. In the distance, I caught a glimpse of a greenhouse with rose-tinted glass and a garden teeming with every imaginable shade of color. The sight was dreamlike, almost surreal—the kind of beauty that felt too perfect to be real.
I clutched the steering wheel, my fingers trembling. The address was smudged but still legible on the inside of my wrist, written hastily in black ink. I’d had no other way to remember it, and now, here I was, drawn by a mix of desperation and an inexplicable feeling that this place was meant for me. There was no sign at the gate, no confirmation that I was in the right place beyond the faint whisper of intuition. Yet something about this estate—its quiet elegance, its carefully manicured grounds—called to me in a way I couldn’t ignore.
For a moment, I let myself drift, replaying the series of events that had led me to this crossroad. Work had consumed my life for years, and I had prided myself on being someone who thrived under pressure. Long hours at the law firm, juggling impossible deadlines, and navigating office politics had become my normal. But lately, that normal was breaking me. I hadn’t slept through the night in months, my dreams—when they came—haunted by an endless litany of tasks left undone. Even my reflection in the mirror had become unrecognizable, dark circles etched beneath my eyes no concealer could hide.
“Seriously, girl, you look like shit,” Melanie’s voice echoed in my mind, her bluntness softened by concern. It had been one of those moments at work where time felt like quicksand. I’d been hovering over the copy machine, willing it to work faster. Callen needed the addendums printed five minutes ago, and the machine seemed to know it, spitting out pages at a glacial pace.
“I know,” I had muttered, not even glancing up. “I’m trying.”
Melanie leaned against the counter, her arms crossed. “What’s going on, Emery? We haven’t seen you in weeks.” She wasn’t talking about work. No, she meant outside of it—the pub nights, the late-night phone calls, the part of me that had once lived a life beyond the firm.
I had smiled, a tight, strained thing that barely reached my lips. “I’m good,” I lied. “Just busy, you know how it is.”
She’d grabbed my wrist then, stopping me mid-motion. “Ever think that maybe what you need is to slow down?”
Her words lingered long after I’d rushed away, papers in hand, my promise to catch up another time ringing hollow even to my ears. I had no time. Every hour of my day was consumed by work, and every ounce of energy was spent trying to keep my head above water. But that’s the thing about drowning: the more you struggle, the faster you sink.
Walking into Callen’s office, he snapped. “Did you use the copier on the fifteenth floor? For heaven’s sake.” He snatched the papers from my hands and returned to his desk, lost in the contents.
Rolling my eyes, I turned around and started to walk out when he said, “I’m going to need you to find me something I can use on the corporate case by morning.”
“Jensen Holdings? That’s scheduled to be in court at ten tomorrow morning.”
He looked at me as if I were spouting useless information.
“I know,” he said, sitting down at his desk. “That’s why I need you here tonight.”
“Callen, that’s nearly impossible. That’s thousands of documents.”
He looked at me briefly, waved his hand, and dismissed me.
“Shut the door on your way out.”
That was the start of it all—the fracture before the break. After pulling an all-nighter, drowning myself in an insane amount of coffee and vending machine food, I had delivered my findings to him by nine—just enough time for him to make it to the courthouse.
“Where the fuck were you?” Callen slammed the door shut. “I could have used this two hours ago.”
“I don’t understand.” My voice was level; I refused to let him frighten me.
“Judge Milweed moved the case to eight this morning. You should have had this to me by seven.” Before I could speak, he interrupted me. “I’m not sure you’re cut out for this, Miss Watson. You’re always behind in the work, never at your desk when I need you, and—are those the same clothes you wore yesterday?” He huffed. “We do have a dress code policy here. I will have to report this all to HR, but until then, you’re on administrative leave.”
The memory made my chest tighten, shame and anger twisting into a knot I couldn’t untangle. That night, I’d found myself at the pub, nursing a drink and trying to convince myself that everything would be fine. It was Melanie who had found me there, who had slid into the seat beside me and handed me a slip of paper with an address scribbled on it. “You need a break,” she’d said simply. “This place… it helped me when I thought I couldn’t go on. Just trust me.”
I hadn’t asked questions. I’d written the address on my wrist, more out of politeness than intention. Yet here I was, staring up at the estate, my heartbeat thudding in my ears.
With a deep breath, I started the car and drove through the iron gates, their intricate design curling like ivy. Parking at the base of the stone steps, I killed the engine and reached for my coffee cup, only to find it empty. Of course. Sighing, I grabbed my purse, the thud of my heels against the pavement echoing in the still morning air.
The doors were open, a soft breeze carrying the scent of lavender and vanilla. As I climbed the steps, I noticed a small metal plaque beside the entrance: Hensley’s Sanitarium & Rehabilitation Center. Below it, in elegant script, was a name: Dr. Mathias Hensley. The only indication I was in the right place.
Stepping through the threshold, I was greeted by an older woman at the front desk. She smiled warmly at me, beckoning me forward. It was a strange thing for me to see another welcoming face. The firm was filled with grouchy, straight-lipped assholes who only cared about themselves, so I was pleasantly surprised by the change.
“What can I do for you, dear?”
“Well…” I wasn’t sure how to ask. “I’d like to check in, but first, I was hoping you could tell me a little more about what you do here.” I couldn’t find much on the internet, and virtually no information about this place other than Melanie’s glowing recommendation. I was not entirely sure if this was more like a spa retreat or a medical institution; I already had mental reservations.
“You know what,” I started, “this was silly—never mind.”
“Nonsense, dear,” she stood up. “Checking in is simple. Look over these forms, hun, and when you’re ready, bring them back up, and we’ll get you that rest and recovery you so desperately need.”
She handed me a clipboard and a pen anchored to the board. “You poor thing. Just sit right there,” she pointed to a soft chair in the sitting room to her right, “and I’ll just let the doctor know you’re here.”
I ventured into the sitting room and sat in one of the large leather chairs. In front of me was an enormous bay window with a muted light. The early sun was filtered by thin white lace curtains and bordered by large navy-blue floor to ceiling drapes. Behind me was a massive bookcase spanning the entire length of the wall with an array of old and new books ranging from all topics. I wasn’t sure what I expected, old medical journals maybe, but there didn’t seem to be any. Instead, there were all sorts of topics: politics, gardening, nutritional cookbooks, leadership, and even a few architecture books mixed in.
In the center of the bookshelf was a doorway leading off to another part of the house but without craning my neck, it was impossible to snoop.
Glancing at the first form, it was a standard aches and aliments checklist asking about known conditions, sleep habits, eating habits, and sexual health. I felt a dread as I began answering the questions truthfully, afraid that I might be judged on how poor I’d taken care of myself. The next two focused simply on stress, anxiety, and depression that rated severity by questions. My pen hovered over the possible responses—part of me didn’t want to admit I was stressed or needed help, but I circled them anyway.
My heartbeat sped up and I felt the growing tightness in my chest.
“Here you go, dear. A little something to freshen you up.” She handed me a glass of water. I took a sip, thankful to get a break from the forms. I detected something fruity and flavorful.
“This is delicious,” I mused, “what is it infused with?”
“Cucumbers, strawberries, and mint.” She beamed a happy smile toward me. “Grown in our own garden. I’m glad you like it.”
“I do, thank you.”
“Do you have any questions on the paperwork so far?”
“Umm…” I was a little embarrassed. “I’m still working on them actually.”
“Take your time, dear. The doctor will see you when you’re finished.”
I finished the assessment and moved to the last page. Years of paralegal work had taught me to read through everything before signing but the consent form was very lengthy. I filled in my name consenting to voluntary admission to Hensley’s Sanitarium & Rehabilitation Center and entered today’s date. Under the consent and authorization section, I read the paragraph which mentioned that I would be under the inpatient care of the licensed physician, Dr. Mathias Hensley for a one-week period where care is to be reevaluated by the provider at the end of seven calendar days. The patient has the right to leave after the initial period is complete unless the doctor extends the care an additional seven days for failure to complete treatments.
By signing, I was authorizing Dr. Hensley to provide treatment that included medication to be administered orally, intravenously, or rectally—to be determined by the medical care professional.
Cringing on the last part, I willed myself to keep reading when a scream broke my concentration. I looked up, hearing a commotion coming from upstairs. There was a pounding of footsteps and then a loud bang as a door slammed shut.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I wasn’t crazy—just exhausted and in need of some rest.
Shaking my head, I looked back at the form; I came here for a reason. Picking up where I left off, the next paragraph explained that some unusual or unorthodox methods may be used if deemed necessary and that the safety and wellbeing of the patient would never be jeopardized. I underlined that section making a mental note to ask the secretary to elaborate on unorthodox. I kept reading… authorization to use restraints, cryotherapy, hydrotherapy, intense psychotherapies, and other means necessary. There was that vague writing again.
I took a sip of the water with a shaky hand.
My pulse started to race uncontrollably. My palms were sticky with sweat. I was finding it difficult to focus on the form when another scream echoed through the house.
Nope, that was it.
I decided right then and there that I would make do without this. I’d figure it out on my own.
Just then two orderlies clad in white uniforms and black tennis shoes rushed past me and up the stairs.
I didn’t belong in a nuthouse. As quickly as I could, I gathered up the papers and shoved them back on the clipboard, dropping my purse in the process. Eager to get out of there, I swooped down, grabbed the scattered contents on the floor, and went to stand but the room spun. Fumbling back, I knocked the glass of water off the table. It struck the ground with a clank and shattered into a few dozen pieces.
Oh no. I didn’t mean to, but my heart kept pounding, faster and faster. All I could hear was the sound of drums beating in my ears. My body grew unusually warm.
The secretary rushed toward me, beckoning me to take a seat behind me but I didn’t want to. I wanted to leave. I tried grabbing my purse again, but I began to hyperventilate; my vision blurred, and I stumbled on weak legs.
“Just breathe. It’s okay. Deep breath in,” she coaxed.
I could barely make out her words and she ushered me into the chair with more force than I thought the small frail woman was capable of.
I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I couldn’t catch my breath, as if those wrought iron gates outside were locking me in. Everything felt tingly and my hands grew numb. The pounding in my ears grew louder and louder until they too were faint. The room around me was growing dark, my vision blurring even more until all I saw was nothing.
Chapter TWO
I woke with a killer headache, my skull throbbing as though a drumbeat had taken up residence in my brain. I tried to sit up, only to feel a steady, warm hand on my shoulder gently pressing me back down.
“Easy. Try not to move yet,” a calm, firm voice instructed, the kind of voice that made you instinctively listen.
Blinking, I willed my vision to clear. Slowly, the world came into focus, and I found myself staring into a pair of piercing blue eyes—the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. They were bright and clear, contrasting with the man’s strong, angular features. His auburn hair was perfectly tousled, managing to look both artfully messy and deliberately neat. He had a sharp jawline and was clean-shaven, giving him an air of professional precision. His crisp, white doctor’s coat hung neatly over a light blue button-down shirt and khaki slacks. He looked young, too young to be the lead physician of this place—thirty-two at most, making him only a handful of years older than me.
“Where am I? Who are you?” My voice was hoarse as I looked around, trying to get my bearings. The room I was in was unlike any medical office I’d seen. It had the feel of a study or a personal library. Floor-to-ceiling bookshelves lined the walls on either side of the solid oak double doors. The farthest wall was dominated by three massive windows, their thin curtains drawn just enough to let in muted light. Beneath them was a large wooden desk, its surface tidy except for a leather journal, a small stack of papers, and a few books. Curiously, there was no computer in sight, adding to the room’s old-world charm.
As I surveyed the room, the man walked to the windows and drew the curtains fully back. Sunlight spilled into the space, illuminating the rich tones of the wood and the muted patterns of the upholstered chairs. The sudden brightness sent a fresh wave of pain through my skull, and I winced, closing my eyes against the intrusion.
“I’m Dr. Hensley, and you’re in my office,” he explained, his voice calm and even. “Mrs. Knolty alerted me when you fainted. I brought you in here for privacy and observation.”
I glanced down at myself, doing a quick assessment. Other than the pounding headache, I felt fine… until I noticed the intravenous line taped to my left arm.
“It’s just saline,” Dr. Hensley said, anticipating my question. “You were severely dehydrated.”
My instinct was to reach over and pull it out, but he crossed the room in a few long strides and caught my wrist before I could. His touch was firm yet surprisingly gentle, his hand warm against my skin.
“Leave it. You need the fluids,” he said, his tone brooking no argument. His gaze flicked to my wrist, and he noticed the faint ink marks there. “Do you always write on yourself?” The question, tinged with mild reproach, made me feel small, as though he were scolding a child.
Pulling my hand free, I muttered defensively, “It’s an old habit.” But I didn’t want to lose sight of my original intent. “I’m actually feeling better now. Sorry to take up your time; I’ll be on my way.”
“You’re not a very good liar, Miss Watson,” he replied smoothly. Before I could protest further, I swung my feet around to the side of the table, only for the room to tilt violently. I grabbed the edges of the table to steady myself, my breath hitching.
Without a word, Dr. Hensley moved to my side. He gently placed his hands on my ankles and maneuvered my legs back onto the table. His touch was clinical yet soothing, and the simple act felt oddly grounding.
“The light sensitivity, nausea, headache, and dizziness are all symptoms of the panic attack you experienced earlier,” he explained. “It will take some time to dissipate. Until then, you’re in no condition to drive. Releasing you now would be a disservice to you, my profession, and this community.”
“Discharge me? But I didn’t sign the forms,” I protested weakly.
“I’m well aware,” he said, leaning casually against the edge of his desk. He picked up the clipboard containing the paperwork I’d partially filled out earlier. “Have you ever experienced a panic attack before?” he asked, pen in hand, poised to make notes in the margins.
I shook my head, still too disoriented to find my voice. His gaze softened as he studied me, and I felt a flicker of vulnerability under the weight of his piercing eyes. There was something undeniably authoritative about him, but not in a way that felt overbearing. It was as though he commanded respect effortlessly.
“Panic attacks can happen unexpectedly, often when we feel overwhelmed or out of control,” he said, his voice gentler now. “It’s a primal fight-or-flight response.”
Recalling my college psychology class, I added quietly, “I’m familiar with the concept.”
“Then you understand why your attempt to rush out of the lobby triggered hyperventilation. The shallow breaths caused a lack of oxygen to your brain, leading to your loss of consciousness,” he explained. “Considering the stress and anxiety reflected in your assessments, it’s not surprising.”
“I’m stressed, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” I said, a defensive edge creeping into my tone.
He tilted his head slightly, his expression unreadable. “I disagree. When stress and anxiety go untreated for long periods, the body begins to react in unpredictable ways. My job is to help you identify those triggers and reconnect your mind and body. I use a range of intense, but safe methodologies designed to reduce stress and restore balance.”
“Intense?” I repeated, arching a brow. “What do you mean?”
“I’m glad you asked,” he said, a faint smile curving his lips. “Every treatment plan is tailored to the individual. For some, it involves cellular detox, nutrient-rich diets, thermal therapies, or even psychological exercises. For others, it might include techniques that stimulate the body’s natural healing processes, such as orgasms to release endorphins and promote relaxation.”
“Orgasms?” I repeated, startled by his candor.
“Yes,” he said without missing a beat. “Orgasms have proven benefits, including stress relief and improved sleep. Some methods might feel uncomfortable or unconventional, but they are never harmful.”
I nodded slowly, absorbing his words. “And I can leave when I want?”
“Your stay here is voluntary for now. As soon as you’re fit to drive, you’re free to go. But I encourage you to give this a chance. Admitting you need help is the hardest part. You’ve already taken that step, and it’s a courageous one.”
I didn’t know how to respond, so I simply nodded again.
“If you choose to stay, the initial period is seven days,” he continued. “Leaving prematurely can disrupt treatments and have adverse effects. The full week allows us to make meaningful progress toward your recovery.”
“That sounds fine, but… I’m not sure this place is for me,” I admitted hesitantly.
“You’ve made it this far, Miss Watson. What’s holding you back now?”
I avoided his gaze, my uncertainty growing. The truth was, I didn’t have an answer.
“Ah,” he mused, his tone thoughtful, “I think I understand now. You heard one of the residents earlier. I’m sure your mind is coming up with a thousand and one scenarios about why she was screaming, all of them casting this place in a poor light, I assume, given your reaction. I will say, the screams you heard earlier were not of pain or resistance, but of pleasure. No one was being hurt, I can assure you.”
Pleasure? The word hit me like a jolt. My cheeks flushed as the implications unfolded in my mind, and I was suddenly hyper-aware of my surroundings. I wanted to question him, to demand clarification, but his calm and confident demeanor left little room for doubt. My thoughts strayed to his earlier mention of orgasms. Replaying the sounds in my mind, I supposed… they could have been the result of an orgasm. The realization made my pulse quicken, though whether from embarrassment or curiosity, I couldn’t say.
Dr. Hensley seemed unfazed by my internal turmoil, his expression remaining steady. “I hope this has soothed some of your concerns,” he continued. “As I mentioned, your admittance is voluntary. If you choose to stay, if you want to be healthier, to be stress-free, and to find balance, then sign on the bottom line.” He placed the clipboard beside me on the table, the pen balanced neatly on top as if to emphasize the simplicity of the decision.
“If you still wish to leave,” he added, his voice softening, “I only ask that you wait until the bag of fluids is completed and you no longer exhibit symptoms that might impair your driving.”
The steady throb in my head persisted, but his explanations had dispelled many of the fears that had gripped me earlier. I realized how much my imagination, fed by years of horror movies and skewed perceptions, had distorted the idea of a sanitarium. Instead of a cold, foreboding institution, this place felt… different. It was elegant, warm, and oddly reassuring. Dr. Hensley himself embodied that contrast, his presence both authoritative and approachable.
One week felt like a long time, though. A small voice in my head whispered doubts, reminding me of the administrative leave forced upon me after Callen’s cutting remarks. I’d planned to spend those two weeks hiding at home, nursing my wounded pride and pretending I wasn’t unraveling. Melanie had disrupted that plan when she suggested this place. Still, this couldn’t be much different from isolating myself at home, right? If anything, it might be better.
He made it sound so simple. Just sign and let him help me. As though fixing everything could be as straightforward as putting my name on a piece of paper. But the weight of that pen, resting so innocuously on the clipboard, felt immense. I hesitated, my mind racing with second thoughts.
Dr. Hensley’s gaze didn’t waver. His blue eyes seemed to pierce through my defenses, as if he could see the doubts tumbling through my mind. “It won’t be an easy journey,” he said, his voice steady and reassuring, “but it will be worth the reward.”
I swallowed hard. Those words carried a weight that settled deep in my chest. This wasn’t just about recovery or relaxation—it was about facing everything I’d been avoiding, confronting the cracks I’d tried so desperately to ignore. The path ahead wasn’t clear, but something in his tone made me believe it might be worth it.
With trembling hands, I reached for the pen. The smooth barrel felt cool against my fingers as I stared at the blank line awaiting my signature. My chest tightened with the gravity of the choice before me, but I knew I couldn’t let myself overthink it. Before I could second-guess myself, I scrawled my name across the page and added my initials where required.
The moment the pen left the paper, a strange sense of finality washed over me. I had done it. Whatever came next, there was no turning back now.
Chapter THREE
Dr. Hensley took the forms from me, his sharp blue eyes scanning them with meticulous focus before setting them neatly on his desk. “The next step is to get you changed while I evaluate your assessments and then proceed with a physical exam. Normally, this is done in our intake room, but I don’t want you moving just yet—not in your condition. I’m going to grab a nurse and get you a gown.”
He didn’t waste any time. There was an efficiency to his movements, but no urgency that felt rushed or chaotic. Everything he did exuded calm control. He disappeared through the double doors and returned a few minutes later with a light pink gown, a pair of soft, non-slip socks, and a warm blanket folded over his arm. His footsteps were steady as he approached, the quiet confidence in his demeanor making the sterile environment feel a little less intimidating. Before coming closer, he pressed a button on the wall near the doors. A small red light blinked to life above the doorway.
“That should ensure some privacy,” he said, his tone reassuring. Pulling a screen divider across the space between his desk and the table where I lay, he set the items on a chair beside me. “Let’s try sitting up first. If you feel dizzy or faint, let me know.”
He extended his hand, and I took it, welcoming the warmth of his touch. My hands were icy from the cool saline drip, and his steady grip grounded me. As if anticipating my discomfort, he reached over to the now-empty IV bag, clamped the line, and gently detached it from the port in my arm before capping the end.
“As much as I’d prefer starting another bag, that can wait a little while longer,” he said, his voice softening as he studied my reaction.
I managed to sit up without the room spinning, though the relentless pounding in my head made me wince. “I really am okay,” I tried to assure him, but the raised eyebrow he shot me said otherwise. His expression carried an air of quiet authority that reminded me I wasn’t as convincing as I hoped.
Dr. Hensley helped me down from the table, his firm grip steadying me as my feet touched the cold floor. Only when he was sure I could stand on my own did he let go, the sudden absence of his warmth making me acutely aware of how depleted I felt.
“Do you always see patients in your office?” I asked, trying to distract myself from the lingering ache in my limbs.
“Only the ones who need careful observation,” he replied with a faint smile. “Your treatments won’t always be in here, but given the events of this morning, I think this is best. It gives me a chance to keep an eye on you.”
That smile—subtle and fleeting—somehow made me feel safer. It wasn’t the clinical precision of his actions or the wealth of knowledge he clearly possessed that put me at ease. It was that small, human gesture, as though he understood just how fragile I felt without me needing to say a word.
Pulling me from my thoughts, he instructed, “Take your time getting changed. You can place your clothes in here,” he gestured to a wire basket beside the table, “Jewelry too,” he added. “Don’t rush, and if you need help, I’m just on the other side of this curtain.”
I waited until I heard the creak of his chair as he sat down at his desk before I began. My fingers fumbled with the button of my jeans, my body feeling weaker than I expected. As I shimmied out of them, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror across the room. My reflection startled me. The curves I used to have were gone, replaced by sharp angles and protruding bones. My collarbone seemed more prominent than ever, and the hollowness around my hips made me feel strangely exposed. Maybe that was why I had chosen the oversized hoodie this morning—to hide the frailty I hadn’t wanted to face.
Pulling the sweatshirt over my head proved more difficult than I anticipated. I moved cautiously, mindful of the IV port, but even the simple act left me breathless. I sat back down in just my t-shirt and panties, trying to gather my strength.
“Are you doing alright?” Dr. Hensley’s voice cut through the silence. A drawer shut, and I heard his footsteps approaching.
“Yes, just taking a break for a moment,” I admitted, my voice quieter than I intended.
He stepped around the curtain, his eyes meeting mine instantly. He didn’t glance away, didn’t scan my body, but somehow he seemed to take in everything he needed to know. Bending down, he picked up my jeans from the floor and folded them neatly before reaching for my hoodie.
“You don’t have to—” I started, but he silenced me with a firm hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me back into the chair.
“Sit,” he said firmly. “It’s no bother at all.”
He folded the hoodie with the same precision and placed it in the basket beside my jeans. His gaze returned to me, this time softer, but still expectant. “What did you have for breakfast?”
I hesitated, not wanting to admit the truth. His raised brow told me he already knew. “The venti coffee in your car is not an appropriate substitute,” he said, his tone carrying just enough reprimand to make me squirm. “While you’re here, you will be eating a minimum of four to five nutritional meals a day. No exceptions.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “How did you…”
“When you fainted, I asked one of the orderlies to check your car for medications. All he found was the coffee cup.”
I hadn’t realized until then that my purse was missing. My gaze darted around the room, searching for it, but Dr. Hensley gently grasped my chin, tilting my head so I had no choice but to look at him.
“Mrs. Knolty brought me your purse and cell phone. Everything is accounted for. Now, take a deep breath.”
I obeyed, inhaling slowly and exhaling just as he had instructed. His hand moved to my elbow, guiding me to my feet with a steadiness I couldn’t muster on my own. He unfolded the gown with one hand, his movements fluid and practiced.
“I’m steady,” I insisted, though my voice lacked conviction. “I can do it.”
He didn’t respond, his calm authority leaving no room for argument. He turned me gently so I faced away from him, maintaining contact as he unhooked my bra with practiced ease. The cool air against my skin made me shiver, but his professionalism kept the moment from feeling invasive.
Guiding my arms into the sleeves, he fastened the ties at the back, his fingertips brushing against my shoulders as he moved my hair to the side.
When I turned around, he had already folded the rest of my clothes and placed them neatly in the basket. “Panties too,” he said, his tone firm but not unkind.
I hesitated, but the look in his eyes left no room for protest. Leaning down, I shimmied out of them, using his arm for balance. Handing them to him, I felt a strange mix of vulnerability and relief when he simply nodded and placed them in the basket without comment.
“Now, back on the table, Miss Watson,” he instructed, stepping behind the curtain briefly before returning with his stethoscope and a thick cream-colored folder.
“I’ll be writing down notes and stats during the exam,” he explained as he set the folder down. “Not everything I write signifies something is wrong; these are just observations for my review later. There’s no need to worry.”
I nodded, my attention briefly drawn to the file. My assessment and consent form had already been hole-punched and neatly added to it. Before I could read too much, I felt the squeeze of a blood pressure cuff around my arm. Dr. Hensley adjusted it with precision, gently placing my arm down to ensure an accurate reading before clipping an oxygen sensor onto my finger.
“You left the section of current prescriptions blank,” Dr. Hensley stated, his tone as calm and measured as ever. “Are you taking anything… vitamins or dietary supplements?”
I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt. “I used to take vitamins regularly, but it’s been a few months. With this new work schedule, I’m hardly ever home, let alone remember to take them.”
“Ah, I see. And, no birth control?”
The blood pressure monitor beeped, breaking the momentary silence. He jotted down the numbers, removing the cuff from my arm and slipping the oxygen sensor off my finger.
“No, nothing,” I replied, shifting uncomfortably under his gaze.
He studied me with a hint of curiosity before asking, “Is that a personal choice, or due to medical or religious affiliation?”
I wasn’t about to admit that it had been nearly three years since I’d had sex and hadn’t seen a reason for birth control. Instead, I answered simply, “Personal.”
He didn’t press further, his expression neutral as he observed me. Reaching for my wrist, he placed two fingers against my vein, his eyes on his wristwatch as he silently calculated my heart rate. The simplicity of the action struck me—no machines, just an old-fashioned method that somehow felt more intimate.
“Are you feeling anxious?” he asked, releasing my wrist and sitting back slightly.
I shook my head. “Like I said, I feel fine.”
Dr. Hensley leaned forward, unbuttoning the top few snaps of the gown. He retrieved his stethoscope and placed the cold metal against my chest, making me flinch slightly.
“Sorry,” he murmured. When he finished listening to my heart, he looked up and explained, “Your heart rate is fast. Your body has acclimated to high stress, high anxiety, and now believes this is the new normal. It’s not a lifestyle we encourage, but our intention is to get you back to a healthier baseline by the end of your stay.”
He moved the stethoscope to my back, instructing me to take deep breaths. Afterward, he checked my ears, nose, throat, and pupil response. When he flashed the small penlight into my eyes, I instinctively turned my head away, the brightness making me wince.
He jotted a note in the margins of my file, his pen moving swiftly across the paper. I craned my neck, trying to see what he was writing, but was interrupted when he tapped my knees with a small rubber hammer, testing my reflexes.
“Reflexes are normal,” he said with a small nod. “I’d like to grab a quick height and weight if you feel steady enough.”
I nodded, and he held out a hand to help me off the table. My feet touched the cold floor, and I steadied myself, his hand never leaving mine as we walked across the room. His attentiveness felt protective rather than patronizing, a detail I couldn’t ignore.
He motioned for me to stand tall against the wall, my heels pressed against the baseboard. After noting my height, he gestured for me to step onto the scale. The number staring back at me was disheartening. I’d lost sixteen pounds, likely from skipping meals and overworking myself. My throat tightened with embarrassment, and I avoided looking at him as I stepped away.
Walking back to the table, I felt his presence close behind. My shame swirled in the air between us, but when I finally glanced at him, his expression was gentle, devoid of judgment.
“Go ahead and lie down,” he instructed. He guided my legs onto the table, swiveling me into position with the same care as before. His hands were firm but gentle as he palpated my stomach, pressing carefully across my abdomen.
“Let me know if any of this is tender or painful,” he said. His hands hovered over certain areas, and I winced when he pressed lower. He paused, writing another note in the margins before continuing.
“Tell me about your diet habits,” he prompted.
I sighed, feeling exposed in more ways than one. “I’ve not been the greatest,” I admitted. “I don’t always remember to eat, and when I do, healthier options take more time than I can afford.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “I can see that,” he said, his tone compassionate. “There’s no judgment here. I only wish you’d come sooner. You have a few blockages in your intestines that will be uncomfortable to remove, to say the least.”
My frown deepened as he continued. “As I mentioned earlier, you will eat a minimum of four nutritional meals a day. Processed sugars, simple carbs, and caffeine will be eliminated from your diet. We take a fast and hard approach—ripping off the Band-Aid, so to speak.”
“No caffeine? That’s barbaric,” I muttered, a shiver of dread running through me. “I can’t just cut cold turkey. I can’t function without my morning coffee.”
“You can,” he countered, his voice firm yet reassuring. “I promise you, but you won’t be alone. I’ll be here to help every step of the way. It will be difficult, but your body will thank you later. Caffeine is a drug—legal and normalized, but a drug nonetheless. It exacerbates anxiety and panic attacks, which I hope you understand.”
I slumped against the table, pouting slightly as his words sank in. Seven days. I could survive that long, right? But doubt crept in, the realization hitting me like a freight train. I’d signed away my ability to make decisions. My cell phone was gone, the one lifeline I’d relied on for months stripped from me. For the first time, I felt trapped.
A knock at the door interrupted my spiraling thoughts. A nurse entered carrying a small metal tray, the top covered with a cloth. She set it down on a stand near the table as Dr. Hensley pulled stirrups out from beneath the table and positioned them at my feet.
“Thank you, Mary,” he said warmly, his smile genuine. A pang of longing flickered through me. I wanted him to smile at me like that, but all I’d received so far were fleeting grins and professional detachment.
“Anything else, doctor?” Mary asked, her tone brisk.
Dr. Hensley lifted the cloth, inspecting the tray’s contents. “No, this will do. If you could see to Miss Watson’s room, I’d appreciate it. We won’t be much longer here.”
The nurse nodded and exited, and my eyes followed her until the door clicked shut. The sound of latex snapping against Dr. Hensley’s wrist drew my attention back to him. He had donned gloves, his expression focused as he prepared for the next part of the exam.
“Slide down for me a little,” he instructed. I complied, feeling the edge of the table against my thighs. “That’s perfect.”
He placed my legs in the stirrups and fastened straps around my ankles and thighs. “This is just a precaution,” he said, his tone soothing as he draped the blanket over me, creating a tent-like barrier.
The scent of disinfectant filled the air as he wiped a cool solution over my sensitive skin. I flinched at the temperature, instinctively trying to pull away, but the straps held me in place. “I’m just going to let that dry for a moment,” he explained, removing his gloves.
“When is the last time you had a breast exam?” he asked, his eyes steady on mine.
I shook my head, unable to recall. Watching me closely, he moved closer. “May I?” he asked, his hand hovering near the gown.
I nodded, appreciating the gesture despite knowing he didn’t technically need my consent. His hand slipped under the gown, his touch methodical as he examined my left breast. His movements were professional, but as his thumb grazed my nipple, my breath hitched. Our eyes met, and a flicker of awareness passed between us.
“Are you always this sensitive?” he asked softly.
His touch lingered around my areola, grazing the edge of my nipple on purpose. I closed my eyes while he continued to search for lumps when all of a sudden, he pinched my nipple hard, and my eyes shot open.
“I asked you a question,” he toyed, “are you normally so sensitive?”
I stumbled to find the right words. “I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I haven’t been touched in a long time.”
“I see.” He noted that on my chart and continued to repeat the pattern with my right breast—massaging, lifting, and then tugging on my nipple. My hips raised a little off the table. Something deep within me had awaken and out of nowhere, I was craving to be satisfied on a deeper level.
Opening my eyes when his touch disappeared, I watched him return to my spread legs, his eyes on me when he grabbed a stool. “I know these things can be uncomfortable, but I’ll try to be as gentle as I can.” He pulled on a new pair of gloves and sat between my legs, rolling the cart closer to him. I heard the clank of something metal but couldn’t see anything.
“Take a deep breath in and let it go.”
Out of nowhere I felt something cold and foreign entering my tight bum on the exhale but by the time I clenched, it was too late. It was already inside me.
“Just relax, I’m just getting your temperature.”
I tried to sit up on my elbows. “You couldn’t have used that thermometer?” I pointed to the one next to the blood pressure machine.
He smiled. “I find this method to be more accurate, and it does wonders to keep my patients guessing—reminds them of who is in charge.” A cheeky grin formed on his lips, and I realized, that behind the stoic professionalism was a sadist.
“I don’t need a reminder.” I confessed. “You’re not the one with their legs spread wide.”
He smiled, “Miss Emery, I’ve known you all of two hours now and I can tell you with all honesty, your biggest issue is going to be letting go of your control. You’re going to have to learn to let someone else take care of you, because quite frankly, you don’t seem capable.” He removed the thermometer and jotted down the temperature. “One-hundred and two. I suspected as much.”
Now I was annoyed. “I didn’t come here to be chastised.”
“No, you came here to let me help you feel better.” His voice was stern. “Alright, the next step is a urine sample.”
Again, I tried to pull on the restraints, but forgot that I couldn’t move my legs.
“Not so fast, he rested a hand on my thigh. “You won’t need to move. I’m going to use a catheter to avoid contaminating the sample. Just lay back and try to focus on your breathing.”
My cheeks turned bright red. “Is that really necessary?”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “Yes, Miss Watson, it is. I’ll be quick, I promise, and with the amount of fluids you’ve had already, I know you have to go.”
I did. Badly, but I hadn’t found the right moment to ask to go to the restroom. I was pulled out of my thoughts when his fingers spread my labia and something cold swiped across the distance from my clit to my rose bud. And then again with another swipe. It wasn’t stingy like the alcohol swabs, but it has the same antiseptic smell. I winkled my nose.
“Just try to relax and don’t hold it in. When the urge hits, just let go. I promise you’re not going to make a mess.”
I tried to but there was a burning sensation and then a pinch. My hips rose off the table, stopped by the straps.
“You’re almost there, nearly done now.” He encouraged.
There was another sharp pinch. “Ow.” And then I lost control as if I was wetting myself but I couldn’t stop it.
“It’s a perfectly normal sensation,” Dr. Hensley said, “I’m inflating the balloon now to keep it in place, but you did good.” A few seconds went by. “Even with the fluids, your urine is still darker than I’d like. We’ll start another bag to help rehydrate you after I’m finished with your exam.”
I felt his gloved finger enter my sex and then another as he checked the wall of my vagina in a circular motion, spreading the cold lube.
Just then I felt something cold and hard at the entrance of my sex. “Deep breath and breathe out.” He was slow and gentle like he said he would be and other than the cold metal, there was no discomfort.
The speculum clicked once and then again, spreading me open. “You’re doing great, nearly finished here.” I wanted nothing more than to sink into the emptiness of my mind at the moment. I felt the familiar pinch of the swab on my cervix but it was nothing to the burning sensation of the catheter. A second later, the speculum retracked and he gently removed it.
Breathing normally, I relaxed until I felt a gloved finger enter my bum uninvited.
“Relax. I’m only checking to make sure there are no tears in the tissue. And besides, I think you’ve deserved a treat.” With one finger in my ass, he slipped two more into my vagina, instantly finding my g-spot.
Everything came alive, a whirlwind of sensations burst through to the forefront of my mind as his touch created a circular pattern and sparking a rhythm of intoxicating motions from within. I forgot every embarrassing moment leading up to this, poof—gone.
Closing my eyes, I focused on only the sensation. It was building. And then, his thumb rolled over my clitoris, and I practically melted. My hips raised off the table, and the muscles in my stomach clenched.
His slow, steady repetitious motions were throttling every nerve ending in my body—the fuel to the fire—igniting a flame from within. A moan escaped my lips as he pressed against my g-spot and clit at the same time, and I came loudly.
My body rocked with the flood of endorphins and chemicals. My breathing was labored and instead of the chill I had earlier, my entire body was washed over in a wave of warmth.
When my hips returned to the table, and my body relaxed, he gently pulled his hands free, removed the catheter, and cleaned me with a warm washcloth. In any other moment I probably would have been embarrassed he was cleaning me up after such a powerful orgasm, but I didn’t have an ounce of care in the world.
With a soft touch, he unfastened the buckles on the leather straps and lowered my legs back to the table. I was so high from the orgasm that I hadn’t even noticed he was beside me until I felt him touching my arm. With my curiosity piqued, I watched as he withdrew four vials of blood A second later, he was reattaching another bag of fluids to the port in my arm.
I felt a flood of warmth, not unlike the aftermath of the orgasm, but this time my body felt heavy. I looked over as he pulled a small syringe out of the IV.
“It’s a mild sedative; a little something to help quiet your mind. Get some rest, little one.”
Like, follow, and comment for more or if you're impatient like me, read the entire novel on Kindle Unlimited for free now. This is book 1 of 3 focusing on medical fetish/ abdl elements.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DQR29GBF
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lemontasiafanfiction · 5 months ago
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Chapter Ten
Bruised
The night was colder than usual, the sharp bite of winter cutting through Peter’s patched-up suit as he swung low over Queens. His ribs ached from where a car thief had gotten a lucky hit with a crowbar earlier, and the sting of the gash on his forearm—courtesy of an overturned dumpster—itched with every swing. He’d promised himself he was done for the night. He needed sleep, maybe a quick snack to replace the energy he’d burned through, and a chance to go over the chemistry homework he hadn’t even touched yet.
But then, as always, something happened.
He’d been heading home, planning to sneak through his window without waking May, when the faint sound of a struggle caught his attention. It was muffled but distinct—quick shouts, the scrape of feet on pavement, the unmistakable metallic clatter of a trash can being overturned. His body moved before his mind had a chance to argue, his arm snapping out to shoot a webline that redirected his trajectory.
The alley below was shrouded in shadows, the dim light from a flickering streetlamp barely reaching the corners. A man in a hoodie was pinned against the wall by two others—big, broad, and clearly not the average mugger. They moved with precision, their grips on the man’s arms too deliberate, their movements too efficient. Something about the way they carried themselves set Peter’s nerves on edge.
He perched on the fire escape above, scanning the scene as his spider-sense prickled faintly. The man in the hoodie was panicked, struggling to break free, his voice hoarse as he begged them to let him go. But the two assailants ignored him, their faces shadowed by the brims of their hats. One of them pulled a syringe from his pocket, its gleaming needle catching the faint light, and Peter’s stomach turned.
No time to think. No time to plan.
Peter dropped down, landing with a sharp thud that echoed off the brick walls. The two men froze, their heads snapping toward him, and the guy in the hoodie sagged against the wall, his wide eyes darting between Peter and his attackers.
“Alright, fellas,” Peter said, his voice deep and gravelly as he tried to channel the confidence he didn’t feel. “Why don’t we call it a night? Let him go, and I won’t stick you to this alley like flypaper.”
The men didn’t respond. Instead, the one holding the syringe stepped forward, his movements eerily calm. Peter’s spider-sense flared to life, sharp and insistent, and he barely had time to dodge as the guy lunged at him. The syringe passed inches from his side, the needle glinting as it sliced through the air.
“Okay, not cool,” Peter muttered, twisting mid-dodge to fire a webline at the syringe. The webbing hit its mark, yanking the needle out of the man’s hand and sticking it to the wall behind him.
The guy didn’t flinch. He just looked at Peter with cold, calculating eyes, his jaw tightening as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a baton. Peter’s stomach sank as the other man followed suit, drawing a similar weapon from his belt. These weren’t ordinary thugs. Bugged Out - Chapter 10 - Lemontasia - Spider-Man - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
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zimshan · 7 months ago
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Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas has always been my favorite secular Christmas song. One of the first CD mixes I ever made (as opposed to tape mixes recorded from the radio) was a mix centered on several different interpretations. Napster et al allowed me to search my favorite Christmas song and listen to several variations from several decades. I took a liking to older versions, preferring the classic 40s big band sound. But the original was and still is the star for me.
As a kid, I found it interesting the song was from a WW2 era film. But it took another decade before I saw the film and the context it was sung in. So the idea of acknowledging a gloomy Christmas with the hope of a better one next year? Well, I attributed to the time of its creation and release. Emblematic of Americans at home and abroad Christmas 1944, a full 4 years into the war.
It held a bold promise:
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight
That in fact ended up being true for many families the next year, as the war ended in 1945.
The focal point was the bridge:
Someday soon we all will be together if the fates allow until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow
It appealed to me so much more than the normal bright and cheery Christmas. It felt more real to me somehow. More grounded. It’s hope filled but the hope emanates from known struggle. I assumed that resonated with audiences at a time when families were continents apart fighting a world war.
In the 50s, Frank Sinatra thought this was too gloomy and had the second line changed to fit the 50s plastic cheer:
Hang a shining star among the highest bough
It’s a symbol of everything the 50s did to 40s music and film for me. Makes no sense? Who cares! Just smile, doll. Yuck.
When Ella Fitzgerald sang the song even into the 60s she sang it the original way. Of course she did.
When I finally saw the film Meet Me in St. Louis years later, I remember feeling rather disappointed. The context of the film did not fit the song for me really. A few rich girls crying about moving away from home because their father got a job in the city. Certainly not the WW2 levels of problems.
I’ve come around to the film after seeing it several times. It’s mostly a marker of escapism of turn of the century slice of life in technicolor during WW2. It almost feels outrageous for the time. And yet the Christmas sequence is one that brings the narrative back to earth, like the context of the time punching through and leaving its mark on the film. Margaret O’Brien’s tears as a symbol of grief and loss in childhood and carry the film as much as Judy Garland’s voice. Would I have tried rewatching it so much if not for the song? Probably not.
Tonight TCM aired an old Word of Mouth segment with one of the song’s composers, Hugh Martin. He tells the story of the song’s conception. I found a copy on youtube:
youtube
Long story short, turns out his original idea was even gloomier! It started as just a fragment and he credits several people along the way for why he returned to it. But Judy Garland plays a big role here. When he played it for her, she said she loved the melody but the lyrics were just too mean to sing to a younger sister (played by Margaret O’Brien), the context of the moment the song is sung in the film. He brushes it off with a “sorry Judy maybe next time” until a colleague corners him into taking her criticism seriously. (Yes, a man had to tell him to listen to a woman, even when that woman was Judy Garland.)
He adjusts the song and the resulting balance is not just the focal song of the film but one of the biggest Christmas songs of all time.
I love this story because it shows the affect of others around a songwriter that help shape the final song. We are so quick to attribute roles in film and music to the credits. This person was the songwriter, this person was the singer, this person did the score. Yet creative collaboration means they all have an effect on each other. No one is working in a vacuum.
In this case, the songwriter’s original idea probably would have gone nowhere. But by having several people around him that saw the value in part of it, he continued to work on it. Judy’s feedback alone was not enough. But with a colleague backing her up, he was able to adjust the gloom to a level that happened to be the right balance to meet the moment not just in the film but of the time audiences were listening to it. Today most people recognize the song on its own. Most don’t know the film it originated from. It took on a life of its own. But it’s the result of that creative collaboration the film provided.
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helix-enterprises117 · 1 year ago
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Halo Reloaded: Испуганный
In the low hum of the barracks' common room, Vaz Beloi was nursing a glass of vodka that had seen more refills than he cared to count. The room, lit by the flickering lights that struggled against the ever-present gloom of military life, provided a backdrop more fitting for confessions than celebrations. Across from him, a fellow ODST, Jenkins, was pretending to be more interested in his drink than the conversation, a tactful witness to Vaz's unraveling.
"You know," Vaz started, his Russian accent thickening with each sip of the alcohol, "I love her. God knows, I do. But man, there's this part of me that's just... pissing its pants, you know?" He chuckled, but it was hollow, the sound of a man trying to make light of his own dread.
Jenkins, a burly man with a scar running down the side of his face like a misplaced seam, raised an eyebrow. "Naomi, right? Your Spartan?" he ventured, already knowing the answer.
"Da, Naomi. She's not just any Spartan. She's a damn one-woman army," Vaz sighed, swirling the vodka in his glass as if it held the answers. "I've seen her in action, man. It's like watching death dance. And at night, when she's lying next to me, all I can think about is how those hands, the very ones I hold, have snuffed out so many lives."
Jenkins nodded, silent. What was there to say? Everyone knew the legends of the Spartans, but hearing it from someone who shared a bed with one was different, more real.
"It's like being in love with a hurricane, you know? She's beautiful, powerful, but damn if there isn't a part of you that's terrified of being swept away," Vaz continued, the words spilling out with an honesty born of desperation.
Unbeknownst to both men, Naomi had entered the common area, intending to surprise Vaz. But instead of a warm greeting, she was met with his fears laid bare. She paused in the doorway, a silent specter, as Vaz's words struck her like physical blows. The tears came then, unbidden, a testament to the raw pain that sliced through her heart.
Back at the table, Vaz was oblivious to the storm he had unwittingly unleashed. It wasn't until he turned, seeking another bottle, that he caught a glimpse of Naomi's retreating form. Panic, sharp and sudden, cut through the haze of alcohol. "Naomi!" he called, but she was already gone, her departure as silent as her arrival.
He found her later, in the small, Spartan (in more ways than one) room they shared. Naomi was sitting on the edge of their bed, her posture defeated, her body racked with sobs. The sight of such vulnerability in someone so powerful struck Vaz to his core.
"Naomi, I... Shit, I didn't mean for you to hear that," he stammered, the words clumsy in his mouth.
"You're right, though," she managed between sobs, her voice raw. "I am a monster."
"Hey, no. Look at me, Nomi," Vaz urged, sitting beside her and tilting her chin up so their eyes met. "I was being an ass, okay? Drunk and stupid. You're not just some... some war machine to me. You're this incredible, terrifying force, sure. But you're also the woman who laughs at my shitty jokes, who gets teary-eyed over old movies. I screwed up, malishka. I'm sorry."
Naomi's gaze held his, searching, vulnerable. "Do you really mean that?" she asked, her voice a whisper of hope and hurt.
"Yeah, I do. God, Naomi, I'm scared because I love you so damn much. Not because of what you can do to others, but because of what losing you would do to me," Vaz confessed, his heart laid bare in the dim light of their room.
They embraced then, a tangle of arms and whispered promises, as the fears and doubts receded into the background. It was a moment of raw honesty, of two people grappling with the complexities of love in a world that was anything but simple. For Vaz and Naomi, it wasn't just about weathering the storm; it was about finding the courage to dance in the rain.
@makowrites, @ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask, @empresskadia.
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beenbaanbuun · 3 years ago
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Match Made in Heaven - Kim Taehyung
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Word Count: 3.5k
Genre: fluff
Warnings: chubby!reader, internalised fatphobia, regular old fatphobia, Taehyung is a flirt, Taehyung is a thirsty mf, cursing (if i’ve missed anything, lmk)
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‘Opposites attract’ was a lie, it had to be. Since moving from America to Korea, you’d been on blind date after blind date and nothing. Not even the slightest spark.
You moved to Korea because it was so much different from the small town in Oregon that you’d spent your whole life bumbling around. Everything in the small country seemed like heaven compared to the overly-patriotic hell you’d grown up in. You seemed to have brought a little slice of America with you, though, always being too ‘Western’ for most of the men you’d been on dates with.
You know what ‘too western’ meant almost immediately after the first guy dumped you. Looking around you all you saw were intelligent women with perfect hair, perfect faces and perfect bodies. Now, you may have been blessed with intelligence, but your hair was always messy, your nose was a little wonky from when you’d broken it as a child, and you were nowhere near the weight that the beauty standard required you to be.
‘Fat’ one of the men had even gone as far to call you once you’d ordered your meal at the restaurant you were both eating at. You were a little confused about why he stayed for the rest of the meal when he clearly wasn’t attracted to you, but at least he paid for it. Safe to say you never spoke to him again, not that you did with any of the other dates.
You had to admit, you were a little confused when your roommate had decided that she wanted to send you on yet another blind date, clearly ignoring the little outburst you had after the last one went wrong. Either that or she just didn't understand the words ‘never again’. You knew your accent was a little hard to understand sometimes, but you didn’t doubt for a second that she understood you.
“This one will go well, I promise,” She dragged you by the hand towards the cafe the date was supposed to be at. Despite your protests, she’d manage to get you dressed, made up and out of the door with plenty of time to spare. So much time, in fact, that you knew you’d be waiting for at least half an hour before the supposed ‘man of your dreams’ showed up. “Besides, Y/N, opposites attract.”
Those two words made your blood boil.
“You said that the last 20 times, Hajoon,” you struggled to keep up with the excited woman in front of you as she guided you through the streets towards wherever you were heading, “I think its time we gave up on the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing, don't you?” She shook her head, letting a giggle out.
“I think we just have to find the right opposite.” 
The cafe was almost empty when you arrived… almost. In one of the booths at the back sat a man with black curly hair. You couldn't see his face, but by the way the barista was staring at him, you could tell he was pretty. 
You couldn't take your eyes off of him either. You could only see him from the back, but everything about him entranced you. His broad shoulders were tensed up, his muscles visibly rippling under his striped shirt. In his left hand was a mug, the tendons in the back of his hand shifting as he fiddled with the handle. The sight of his slender fingers made your mouth water, so you decided to focus on something else instead. As much as you didn't want to go on this date, it felt rude to be preoccupied with another man.
“Shit, he’s early too!” Hajoon jumped in excitement. Your eyebrows furrowed, only being able to see the one man in the room. You wondered if he was your date, but just as quickly as that thought came to you, you threw it away. If he was your date, then you may as well call it a wasted evening already. There’s no way someone as pretty as him could want someone like you.
“Where?” You asked her, wanting to see your date before they saw you. 
“In that booth over there,” Oh no. Please, God, no. Anyone but him, “The one in the stripy top.” 
Fuck.
“No,” You shook your head, trying to pull your body away from hers. You were going to go home, take your stupid dress off and lie in bed with him on your mind and your hand between your legs. “There’s no way I’m going on a date with him.”
“Oh, grow up,” She rolled her eyes into the back of her skull, groaning out in frustration when you refused to go into the cafe. “What’s wrong with this one?”
You’d warned her before about beautiful men. They didn't respect you, any of them. Either they were unbelievably rude, telling you all about this marvellous diet that they’d researched that they thought would help you, or they wanted to fulfil some weird fantasy they had involving fat girls. Either way, you had neither the time nor the energy to deal with it. Pretty men were a no-go.
“Look at him,” You spoke a little too loudly, grabbing the attention of the man sitting at the table. You hadn’t realised it, but he was now staring at you, a little smile on his face as he watched you argue with Hajoon, his childhood friend. “He’s fucking gorgeous. You know what I’ve told you about pretty men.” That made his smile even wider. Someone as radiant as you thought he was pretty? It must be true then, he thought.
In all honesty, he’d only come on the date to satiate Hajoon’s constant questions about when he’d finally find a girlfriend. The answer was usually ‘when one comes along’ but she wouldn't take that as an answer. ‘What if one never comes along?’ was her usual reply, ‘I can get you a date if you want one’ usually following. Normally he said no, but it had reached a point where even that didn't work anymore and he was backed into a corner.
Obviously, he’d heard all about you, as well as some of the tales from your many blind dates. Hajoon was very proud of her influence on your dating life, finally being able to play matchmaker like she always wanted. Taehyung, on the other hand, felt a little sorry for you. The shit that you’d had to put up with over the past year was unbelievable and he honestly couldn't believe that people could be so rude to someone else, purely based on the fact that they maybe didn't fit the beauty standard. It didn't take long for Taehyung to decide that if he was going to go on a date with anyone, it would be you.
You had to have at least one good date, right?
“Okay, but I know this one personally,” Hajoon whined, practically begging you to give her friend a chance. You still weren't sure, though. She’d claimed to know most of the men personally, and yet it usually turned out that they were just some randomer that she’d met at a bar. “I trust him with you. Please.” 
Her puppy dog eyes always worked with you, which is why you let out a sigh when she began to look up at you through her lashes, convincing you without words. You definitely made the wrong choice of roommate.
“On one condition,” You couldn't believe you were agreeing to this… “You never send me on another blind date.” You could see the conflict behind her eyes. On one hand, she really wanted you to go on this date. On the other hand, she absolutely loved to meddle…
“Fine,” She blurted out, trying to ignore the sound of her own heart shattering. “No more matchmaker.” You smiled at her gratefully, giving her one last hug before entering the warm cafe that your mystery man was in.
When you stepped foot into the warm building, you let out a sigh of relief. As pretty as the dress you were in was, it offered no warmth whatsoever. The puffy lilac tulle was nothing more than a way to distract people from looking at the person wearing it too hard. It was nothing more than a way to make you look prettier than you felt. 
You felt your goosebumps melt away, but they came back with the first step you took toward the man at the table. Nerves bubbled up inside you, making you feel a little sick. He was everything you wanted, and you were undoubtedly everything he didn't want. As usual, you couldn't quite figure out what Hajoon was thinking when she chose this man, but for some reason, you had a lot of blind trust in the woman.
“Hi,” Your voice cracked as you called out to the man, breaking him out of the trance he seemed to be in. He glanced over to you, a slight blush rising to his cheeks as he caught your eyes. You watched as his pupils dilated, his eyes filling with glee. “You must be my date for the evening…” 
“Hey,” He muttered out, tripping over himself as he stood to shake your hand. “You must be Y/N. I’m Taehyung. You’re…” 
He stopped talking, letting his eyes scan over your body for a moment or two before he continued. Through the window, he hadn’t truly managed to take in how breathtaking you actually were, every curve and dimple of your body adding up to how angelic you looked, especially in that dress that was making him think less than holy thoughts about you. Despite how much he wanted to take a peek, he refused to let his eyes linger for too long. He’d heard about all the freaks that only wanted you for one reason, and he was not about to become one of them.
“You’re amazing.” A small grin rose to his face as the words left his mouth. Amazing didn't quite describe how he felt about you, but it was pretty darn close. 
“Amazing?” You furrowed your eyes at him, never having been described as ‘amazing’ before.
“Yeah,” With your hand still in his, he lifted it up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss against your skin. “You’re amazing. Beautiful too.”
You were a little taken aback, not knowing what to say or do in this situation. Amazing was one thing but beautiful? You were certain that he couldn’t truly mean that. Not when he looked like he’d been carved by the Gods. He looked like an old statue that you’d find in a museum. People would go just to fawn over him, wishing that men still looked like that.
“You’d be in the minority with that opinion.” You chucked out, trying to make light of the situation. It only made him shoot you a confused look. He knew you didn’t think much about yourself, but he never thought it’d be this bad.
“I don’t believe that for a second,” He smiled, finally taking a seat again. You hadn’t realised the two of you were still standing, too busy staring at him. Embarrassed, you followed in his footsteps, letting yourself fall onto the seat. “I don't know how anyone could look at you and see anything less than an angel.”
“Hopefully not a bible accurate angel,” At that he let out a loud laugh, his nose scrunching up as he tilted his head back. “Those guys are kind of scary.” 
“I don’t know,” He managed to get out between laughs, still smiling brightly at you. “I think they're kind of hot.” 
Not it was your turn to laugh at his joke. It was only a few minutes into the date, but you could already tell that Hajoon had done good this time. If this was to be your last blind date (which you really hoped it would be) at least you were having fun.
Once the laughter died down, he spoke again. 
“I think you’re hotter than any angel though.” What?
You were a little taken aback by his sudden confession, just like you were with everything else he’d said about you. Amazing, beautiful, angelic, hot? None of those words should’ve come out of his mouth to describe you, and yet there he was, right in front of you, saying those words. There was no humour in his eyes, no laugh on the tip of his tongue. Everything he said was genuine, and you couldn't quite believe it.
“Why do you say that?” Now it was his turn to be confused. How could you not see it? How could you not look at yourself in a mirror and realise how perfect you were. Everything from your head down to your toes was perfect and Taehyung decided right then and there that on that night, he’d make you realise your true worth.
“Because I have eyes and a brain,” He took a sip out of his coffee cup, letting his eyes peer over the top of it so he could watch your reaction. You had a solemn look on your face, your eyes cast down, your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth. “Anyone who says otherwise clearly doesn’t.” 
“By your logic, I’m blind and dumb.” 
“And I’m going to make sure that by the end of the night you have 20:20 vision and a brain that competes with Einstein’s,” He shot a wink at you, making you blush. He really did think you were pretty. “Come on, let's get this date underway.”
Taehyung held out his hand, standing once more from the table. You weren't sure what was going on, but for some reason you trusted him. There was just something about him that made you want to know more. You wanted to be with him, to spend time with him. He was special.
Just for one night, you decided to switch off your brain and let Taehyung take control of it. You’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to feel beautiful. Maybe he could be the one to help you do that. You grinned, placing your hand into his. It was like looking into a mirror, your date’s face lighting up once you gave him your wordless permission to take you elsewhere.
The walk to where ever it was you were going was certainly cold. As hard as you tried, you couldn’t hide your shivers, your body shaking every so often. Being the gentleman that he was, Taehyung offered you his jacket, to which you declined his offer, letting him know that you were fine. He gave you an unconvinced glare but didn't say anything else about it. 
The shivering didn’t stop though, and Taehyung only grew more and more concerned. Your dress was thin, not to mention short. As much as he loved the dress, he couldn't help but internally scold you for not wearing more. 
“Wear my jacket,” He stopped dead in the street, shrugging his coat off and holding it out to you. You shook your head, denying his request again, only to get a low growl in return. “Put the jacket on, or I’ll put it on for you.” That was hot, and also tempting. There was a part of you that wanted him to ‘put it on for you’, but maybe that would've been too forward of you to ask him to do that.
“You know,” You grabbed the jacket from him, shaking off the tingling that had erupted all over your body, “I was okay without the jacket.” He sighed.
“You’re stubborn,” So was he, you almost shot back, but you stopped yourself. Your abrasiveness was also something that others considered to be ’too American’ about you. You refused to let that be your downfall this time, not when you were actually enjoying your night. “It's cute though.” The smirk on his face was a little annoying.
“Are you always so flirty?” 
“Only with women I’m attracted to,” You choked on your own spit making him chuckle to himself. “You okay, angel?” 
“Shut up,” You took a moment to catch your breath, breathing heavily over and over until finally, you were getting enough air into your lungs. “You look the sort to find a lot of women attractive.” He shrugged before setting off walking again.
“Not really,” He turned to watch you as you jogged a few paces to catch up with him. You looked so sweet standing there, cheeks red as the cold air whipped across your face. The moonlight hit your face perfectly, highlighting the cupid’s bow on your cushioned lips. If he’d known you for a little more than half an hour, he’d probably kiss you. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you off, so he decided against it. “None as much as you.” 
He looked just as perfect as you did. There was a permanent grin on his face as he walked, showing you just how much he was enjoying the date. His floppy hair sat over his eyes, curls shifting gently as the wind blew his hair softly. His gorgeous honey skin seemed to twinkle in the gentle glow of twilight. The night sky, as beautiful as it was, had nothing on the man next to you. You felt like you must've done something pretty special in your past life for this man to think so highly of you.
“Why are you staring at me?” Shit, he noticed.
“I’m not.” 
“Don’t lie, pretty,” The nickname made your chest flutter with glee. “I know what it feels like to be stared at.” 
“You’re pretty,” You’re voice was barely above a whisper as the words spilt from your mouth. You hadn’t meant to say it, but you couldn’t stop yourself, the words coming out before you’d even fully realised you were speaking. “I mean… shit.” Cute.
“I guess I am aren’t I,” He jokingly bragged, “It helps with my job if I’m pretty.” 
His job? You hadn’t even noticed that you hadn’t learned any basic information about each other. You didn't know his age, his job, his favourite colour. The two of you had been too busy enjoying each other’s company.
“Where do you work?” 
“I’m an idol,” He said it so nonchalantly, but the confession stunned you into silence. An idol? You were on a date with an idol, and said idol thought you were pretty. The idol was giving you the best date of your life. “You’ve gone awfully quiet.” Of course you had, how could you not?
“How come you didn't tell me you were an idol?”
“I didn't think it was important,” He hummed, “Besides, I was too focussed on you.” His excuse was cheesy, but you thought it was cute.
“On me?” You wanted him to compliment you again. You craved it. 
“You’re pretty too, you know,” There it was. Your whole body lit up when he said it. “And I’m really enjoying spending time with you.” 
You had to agree with him. Spending time with Taehyung felt freeing like you didn’t have any burdens weighing you down. Not to mention the fact that he made you feel wanted. He made you feel attractive, just like he promised he would. At that moment, nothing could knock you down; you were the prettiest person alive.
“I’m enjoying being with you too.” He chuckled at your response. Not a cruel, mocking chuckle, but a soft one. One that let him know that he thought you were sweet.
He couldn't take it anymore, though. The desire to kiss you, to hold you, to be close to you; they were all too strong. Over the course of an extremely short date, he’d fallen well and truly head over heels for you. You were beautiful, funny, intelligent, and most of all, you liked him for him. 
He glanced over to you, looking so infuriatingly hot stood there in your little dress, his coat handing loosely from your shoulders. It covered your dress, your soft thighs peeking out from underneath it. As much as he’d tried to restrain himself, he didn't think he could anymore. He needed you to be his in every way possible.
“You’re American, right?” He asked, taking the both of you off-topic. You nodded, a little confused as to why he was asking. That's when a smirk rose to his face. It was a different type of smirk, a dark one. It was charged with something that you couldn't quite place your finger on.
“How about we lean into your culture,” He grabbed your hand, pulling your body tightly into his. His voice was lower than before, rumbling through his chest as he spoke. You shivered once more, this time it was him that caused it, shooting threads of lust through your body. “And take this back to my place?” Silently, you agreed, nodding your head in desperation. You wanted nothing more than to be with him at that moment.
It turns out that Hajoon wasn't such a bad matchmaker after all.
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abdlgirl25 · 5 months ago
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Chapter One
I was crazy—I had to be. There was no other explanation for sitting in my car at the edge of the property, staring at the imposing Victorian estate as if it might swallow me whole. The manor was breathtaking, its grandeur demanding attention even from my sleep-deprived, caffeine-fueled haze. It looked more like a home for royalty than an institution. The massive three-story structure was built from cold gray stone that seemed both unyielding and timeless, the kind of place that bore witness to countless untold stories. It should have felt ominous, yet there was something oddly inviting about it, as though it held secrets it was ready to share with those brave enough to enter.
Wrought-iron windowpanes, blackened with age, framed each window, reflecting the faint morning light in fractured patterns. A spire jutted into the sky, its sharp silhouette slicing through the wispy clouds above. The vaulted roofline and sweeping arches were softened by cascades of wisteria that wrapped around the stone walkway, their purple blooms swaying gently in the breeze. In the distance, I caught a glimpse of a greenhouse with rose-tinted glass and a garden teeming with every imaginable shade of color. The sight was dreamlike, almost surreal—the kind of beauty that felt too perfect to be real.
I clutched the steering wheel, my fingers trembling. The address was smudged but still legible on the inside of my wrist, written hastily in black ink. I’d had no other way to remember it, and now, here I was, drawn by a mix of desperation and an inexplicable feeling that this place was meant for me. There was no sign at the gate, no confirmation that I was in the right place beyond the faint whisper of intuition. Yet something about this estate—its quiet elegance, its carefully manicured grounds—called to me in a way I couldn’t ignore.
For a moment, I let myself drift, replaying the series of events that had led me to this crossroad. Work had consumed my life for years, and I had prided myself on being someone who thrived under pressure. Long hours at the law firm, juggling impossible deadlines, and navigating office politics had become my normal. But lately, that normal was breaking me. I hadn’t slept through the night in months, my dreams—when they came—haunted by an endless litany of tasks left undone. Even my reflection in the mirror had become unrecognizable, dark circles etched beneath my eyes no concealer could hide.
“Seriously, girl, you look like shit,” Melanie’s voice echoed in my mind, her bluntness softened by concern. It had been one of those moments at work where time felt like quicksand. I’d been hovering over the copy machine, willing it to work faster. Callen needed the addendums printed five minutes ago, and the machine seemed to know it, spitting out pages at a glacial pace.
“I know,” I had muttered, not even glancing up. “I’m trying.”
Melanie leaned against the counter, her arms crossed. “What’s going on, Emery? We haven’t seen you in weeks.” She wasn’t talking about work. No, she meant outside of it—the pub nights, the late-night phone calls, the part of me that had once lived a life beyond the firm.
I had smiled, a tight, strained thing that barely reached my lips. “I’m good,” I lied. “Just busy, you know how it is.”
She’d grabbed my wrist then, stopping me mid-motion. “Ever think that maybe what you need is to slow down?”
Her words lingered long after I’d rushed away, papers in hand, my promise to catch up another time ringing hollow even to my ears. I had no time. Every hour of my day was consumed by work, and every ounce of energy was spent trying to keep my head above water. But that’s the thing about drowning: the more you struggle, the faster you sink.
Walking into Callen’s office, he snapped. “Did you use the copier on the fifteenth floor? For heaven’s sake.” He snatched the papers from my hands and returned to his desk, lost in the contents.
Rolling my eyes, I turned around and started to walk out when he said, “I’m going to need you to find me something I can use on the corporate case by morning.”
“Jensen Holdings? That’s scheduled to be in court at ten tomorrow morning.”
He looked at me as if I were spouting useless information.
“I know,” he said, sitting down at his desk. “That’s why I need you here tonight.”
“Callen, that’s nearly impossible. That’s thousands of documents.”
He looked at me briefly, waved his hand, and dismissed me.
“Shut the door on your way out.”
That was the start of it all—the fracture before the break. After pulling an all-nighter, drowning myself in an insane amount of coffee and vending machine food, I had delivered my findings to him by nine—just enough time for him to make it to the courthouse.
“Where the fuck were you?” Callen slammed the door shut. “I could have used this two hours ago.”
“I don’t understand.” My voice was level; I refused to let him frighten me.
“Judge Milweed moved the case to eight this morning. You should have had this to me by seven.” Before I could speak, he interrupted me. “I’m not sure you’re cut out for this, Miss Watson. You’re always behind in the work, never at your desk when I need you, and—are those the same clothes you wore yesterday?” He huffed. “We do have a dress code policy here. I will have to report this all to HR, but until then, you’re on administrative leave.”
The memory made my chest tighten, shame and anger twisting into a knot I couldn’t untangle. That night, I’d found myself at the pub, nursing a drink and trying to convince myself that everything would be fine. It was Melanie who had found me there, who had slid into the seat beside me and handed me a slip of paper with an address scribbled on it. “You need a break,” she’d said simply. “This place… it helped me when I thought I couldn’t go on. Just trust me.”
I hadn’t asked questions. I’d written the address on my wrist, more out of politeness than intention. Yet here I was, staring up at the estate, my heartbeat thudding in my ears.
With a deep breath, I started the car and drove through the iron gates, their intricate design curling like ivy. Parking at the base of the stone steps, I killed the engine and reached for my coffee cup, only to find it empty. Of course. Sighing, I grabbed my purse, the thud of my heels against the pavement echoing in the still morning air.
The doors were open, a soft breeze carrying the scent of lavender and vanilla. As I climbed the steps, I noticed a small metal plaque beside the entrance: Hensley’s Sanitarium & Rehabilitation Center. Below it, in elegant script, was a name: Dr. Mathias Hensley. The only indication I was in the right place.
Stepping through the threshold, I was greeted by an older woman at the front desk. She smiled warmly at me, beckoning me forward. It was a strange thing for me to see another welcoming face. The firm was filled with grouchy, straight-lipped assholes who only cared about themselves, so I was pleasantly surprised by the change.
“What can I do for you, dear?”
“Well…” I wasn’t sure how to ask. “I’d like to check in, but first, I was hoping you could tell me a little more about what you do here.” I couldn’t find much on the internet, and virtually no information about this place other than Melanie’s glowing recommendation. I was not entirely sure if this was more like a spa retreat or a medical institution; I already had mental reservations.
“You know what,” I started, “this was silly—never mind.”
“Nonsense, dear,” she stood up. “Checking in is simple. Look over these forms, hun, and when you’re ready, bring them back up, and we’ll get you that rest and recovery you so desperately need.”
She handed me a clipboard and a pen anchored to the board. “You poor thing. Just sit right there,” she pointed to a soft chair in the sitting room to her right, “and I’ll just let the doctor know you’re here.”
I ventured into the sitting room and sat in one of the large leather chairs. In front of me was an enormous bay window with a muted light. The early sun was filtered by thin white lace curtains and bordered by large navy-blue floor to ceiling drapes. Behind me was a massive bookcase spanning the entire length of the wall with an array of old and new books ranging from all topics. I wasn’t sure what I expected, old medical journals maybe, but there didn’t seem to be any. Instead, there were all sorts of topics: politics, gardening, nutritional cookbooks, leadership, and even a few architecture books mixed in.
In the center of the bookshelf was a doorway leading off to another part of the house but without craning my neck, it was impossible to snoop.
Glancing at the first form, it was a standard aches and aliments checklist asking about known conditions, sleep habits, eating habits, and sexual health. I felt a dread as I began answering the questions truthfully, afraid that I might be judged on how poor I’d taken care of myself. The next two focused simply on stress, anxiety, and depression that rated severity by questions. My pen hovered over the possible responses—part of me didn’t want to admit I was stressed or needed help, but I circled them anyway.
My heartbeat sped up and I felt the growing tightness in my chest.
“Here you go, dear. A little something to freshen you up.” She handed me a glass of water. I took a sip, thankful to get a break from the forms. I detected something fruity and flavorful.
“This is delicious,” I mused, “what is it infused with?”
“Cucumbers, strawberries, and mint.” She beamed a happy smile toward me. “Grown in our own garden. I’m glad you like it.”
“I do, thank you.”
“Do you have any questions on the paperwork so far?”
“Umm…” I was a little embarrassed. “I’m still working on them actually.”
“Take your time, dear. The doctor will see you when you’re finished.”
I finished the assessment and moved to the last page. Years of paralegal work had taught me to read through everything before signing but the consent form was very lengthy. I filled in my name consenting to voluntary admission to Hensley’s Sanitarium & Rehabilitation Center and entered today’s date. Under the consent and authorization section, I read the paragraph which mentioned that I would be under the inpatient care of the licensed physician, Dr. Mathias Hensley for a one-week period where care is to be reevaluated by the provider at the end of seven calendar days. The patient has the right to leave after the initial period is complete unless the doctor extends the care an additional seven days for failure to complete treatments.
By signing, I was authorizing Dr. Hensley to provide treatment that included medication to be administered orally, intravenously, or rectally—to be determined by the medical care professional.
Cringing on the last part, I willed myself to keep reading when a scream broke my concentration. I looked up, hearing a commotion coming from upstairs. There was a pounding of footsteps and then a loud bang as a door slammed shut.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I wasn’t crazy—just exhausted and in need of some rest.
Shaking my head, I looked back at the form; I came here for a reason. Picking up where I left off, the next paragraph explained that some unusual or unorthodox methods may be used if deemed necessary and that the safety and wellbeing of the patient would never be jeopardized. I underlined that section making a mental note to ask the secretary to elaborate on unorthodox. I kept reading… authorization to use restraints, cryotherapy, hydrotherapy, intense psychotherapies, and other means necessary. There was that vague writing again.
I took a sip of the water with a shaky hand.
My pulse started to race uncontrollably. My palms were sticky with sweat. I was finding it difficult to focus on the form when another scream echoed through the house.
Nope, that was it.
I decided right then and there that I would make do without this. I’d figure it out on my own.
Just then two orderlies clad in white uniforms and black tennis shoes rushed past me and up the stairs.
I didn’t belong in a nuthouse. As quickly as I could, I gathered up the papers and shoved them back on the clipboard, dropping my purse in the process. Eager to get out of there, I swooped down, grabbed the scattered contents on the floor, and went to stand but the room spun. Fumbling back, I knocked the glass of water off the table. It struck the ground with a clank and shattered into a few dozen pieces.
Oh no. I didn’t mean to, but my heart kept pounding, faster and faster. All I could hear was the sound of drums beating in my ears. My body grew unusually warm.
The secretary rushed toward me, beckoning me to take a seat behind me but I didn’t want to. I wanted to leave. I tried grabbing my purse again, but I began to hyperventilate; my vision blurred, and I stumbled on weak legs.
“Just breathe. It’s okay. Deep breath in,” she coaxed.
I could barely make out her words and she ushered me into the chair with more force than I thought the small frail woman was capable of.
I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I couldn’t catch my breath, as if those wrought iron gates outside were locking me in. Everything felt tingly and my hands grew numb. The pounding in my ears grew louder and louder until they too were faint. The room around me was growing dark, my vision blurring even more until all I saw was nothing.
Chapter TWO
I woke with a killer headache, my skull throbbing as though a drumbeat had taken up residence in my brain. I tried to sit up, only to feel a steady, warm hand on my shoulder gently pressing me back down.
“Easy. Try not to move yet,” a calm, firm voice instructed, the kind of voice that made you instinctively listen.
Blinking, I willed my vision to clear. Slowly, the world came into focus, and I found myself staring into a pair of piercing blue eyes—the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. They were bright and clear, contrasting with the man’s strong, angular features. His auburn hair was perfectly tousled, managing to look both artfully messy and deliberately neat. He had a sharp jawline and was clean-shaven, giving him an air of professional precision. His crisp, white doctor’s coat hung neatly over a light blue button-down shirt and khaki slacks. He looked young, too young to be the lead physician of this place—thirty-two at most, making him only a handful of years older than me.
“Where am I? Who are you?” My voice was hoarse as I looked around, trying to get my bearings. The room I was in was unlike any medical office I’d seen. It had the feel of a study or a personal library. Floor-to-ceiling bookshelves lined the walls on either side of the solid oak double doors. The farthest wall was dominated by three massive windows, their thin curtains drawn just enough to let in muted light. Beneath them was a large wooden desk, its surface tidy except for a leather journal, a small stack of papers, and a few books. Curiously, there was no computer in sight, adding to the room’s old-world charm.
As I surveyed the room, the man walked to the windows and drew the curtains fully back. Sunlight spilled into the space, illuminating the rich tones of the wood and the muted patterns of the upholstered chairs. The sudden brightness sent a fresh wave of pain through my skull, and I winced, closing my eyes against the intrusion.
“I’m Dr. Hensley, and you’re in my office,” he explained, his voice calm and even. “Mrs. Knolty alerted me when you fainted. I brought you in here for privacy and observation.”
I glanced down at myself, doing a quick assessment. Other than the pounding headache, I felt fine… until I noticed the intravenous line taped to my left arm.
“It’s just saline,” Dr. Hensley said, anticipating my question. “You were severely dehydrated.”
My instinct was to reach over and pull it out, but he crossed the room in a few long strides and caught my wrist before I could. His touch was firm yet surprisingly gentle, his hand warm against my skin.
“Leave it. You need the fluids,” he said, his tone brooking no argument. His gaze flicked to my wrist, and he noticed the faint ink marks there. “Do you always write on yourself?” The question, tinged with mild reproach, made me feel small, as though he were scolding a child.
Pulling my hand free, I muttered defensively, “It’s an old habit.” But I didn’t want to lose sight of my original intent. “I’m actually feeling better now. Sorry to take up your time; I’ll be on my way.”
“You’re not a very good liar, Miss Watson,” he replied smoothly. Before I could protest further, I swung my feet around to the side of the table, only for the room to tilt violently. I grabbed the edges of the table to steady myself, my breath hitching.
Without a word, Dr. Hensley moved to my side. He gently placed his hands on my ankles and maneuvered my legs back onto the table. His touch was clinical yet soothing, and the simple act felt oddly grounding.
“The light sensitivity, nausea, headache, and dizziness are all symptoms of the panic attack you experienced earlier,” he explained. “It will take some time to dissipate. Until then, you’re in no condition to drive. Releasing you now would be a disservice to you, my profession, and this community.”
“Discharge me? But I didn’t sign the forms,” I protested weakly.
“I’m well aware,” he said, leaning casually against the edge of his desk. He picked up the clipboard containing the paperwork I’d partially filled out earlier. “Have you ever experienced a panic attack before?” he asked, pen in hand, poised to make notes in the margins.
I shook my head, still too disoriented to find my voice. His gaze softened as he studied me, and I felt a flicker of vulnerability under the weight of his piercing eyes. There was something undeniably authoritative about him, but not in a way that felt overbearing. It was as though he commanded respect effortlessly.
“Panic attacks can happen unexpectedly, often when we feel overwhelmed or out of control,” he said, his voice gentler now. “It’s a primal fight-or-flight response.”
Recalling my college psychology class, I added quietly, “I’m familiar with the concept.”
“Then you understand why your attempt to rush out of the lobby triggered hyperventilation. The shallow breaths caused a lack of oxygen to your brain, leading to your loss of consciousness,” he explained. “Considering the stress and anxiety reflected in your assessments, it’s not surprising.”
“I’m stressed, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” I said, a defensive edge creeping into my tone.
He tilted his head slightly, his expression unreadable. “I disagree. When stress and anxiety go untreated for long periods, the body begins to react in unpredictable ways. My job is to help you identify those triggers and reconnect your mind and body. I use a range of intense, but safe methodologies designed to reduce stress and restore balance.”
“Intense?” I repeated, arching a brow. “What do you mean?”
“I’m glad you asked,” he said, a faint smile curving his lips. “Every treatment plan is tailored to the individual. For some, it involves cellular detox, nutrient-rich diets, thermal therapies, or even psychological exercises. For others, it might include techniques that stimulate the body’s natural healing processes, such as orgasms to release endorphins and promote relaxation.”
“Orgasms?” I repeated, startled by his candor.
“Yes,” he said without missing a beat. “Orgasms have proven benefits, including stress relief and improved sleep. Some methods might feel uncomfortable or unconventional, but they are never harmful.”
I nodded slowly, absorbing his words. “And I can leave when I want?”
“Your stay here is voluntary for now. As soon as you’re fit to drive, you’re free to go. But I encourage you to give this a chance. Admitting you need help is the hardest part. You’ve already taken that step, and it’s a courageous one.”
I didn’t know how to respond, so I simply nodded again.
“If you choose to stay, the initial period is seven days,” he continued. “Leaving prematurely can disrupt treatments and have adverse effects. The full week allows us to make meaningful progress toward your recovery.”
“That sounds fine, but… I’m not sure this place is for me,” I admitted hesitantly.
“You’ve made it this far, Miss Watson. What’s holding you back now?”
I avoided his gaze, my uncertainty growing. The truth was, I didn’t have an answer.
“Ah,” he mused, his tone thoughtful, “I think I understand now. You heard one of the residents earlier. I’m sure your mind is coming up with a thousand and one scenarios about why she was screaming, all of them casting this place in a poor light, I assume, given your reaction. I will say, the screams you heard earlier were not of pain or resistance, but of pleasure. No one was being hurt, I can assure you.”
Pleasure? The word hit me like a jolt. My cheeks flushed as the implications unfolded in my mind, and I was suddenly hyper-aware of my surroundings. I wanted to question him, to demand clarification, but his calm and confident demeanor left little room for doubt. My thoughts strayed to his earlier mention of orgasms. Replaying the sounds in my mind, I supposed… they could have been the result of an orgasm. The realization made my pulse quicken, though whether from embarrassment or curiosity, I couldn’t say.
Dr. Hensley seemed unfazed by my internal turmoil, his expression remaining steady. “I hope this has soothed some of your concerns,” he continued. “As I mentioned, your admittance is voluntary. If you choose to stay, if you want to be healthier, to be stress-free, and to find balance, then sign on the bottom line.” He placed the clipboard beside me on the table, the pen balanced neatly on top as if to emphasize the simplicity of the decision.
“If you still wish to leave,” he added, his voice softening, “I only ask that you wait until the bag of fluids is completed and you no longer exhibit symptoms that might impair your driving.”
The steady throb in my head persisted, but his explanations had dispelled many of the fears that had gripped me earlier. I realized how much my imagination, fed by years of horror movies and skewed perceptions, had distorted the idea of a sanitarium. Instead of a cold, foreboding institution, this place felt… different. It was elegant, warm, and oddly reassuring. Dr. Hensley himself embodied that contrast, his presence both authoritative and approachable.
One week felt like a long time, though. A small voice in my head whispered doubts, reminding me of the administrative leave forced upon me after Callen’s cutting remarks. I’d planned to spend those two weeks hiding at home, nursing my wounded pride and pretending I wasn’t unraveling. Melanie had disrupted that plan when she suggested this place. Still, this couldn’t be much different from isolating myself at home, right? If anything, it might be better.
He made it sound so simple. Just sign and let him help me. As though fixing everything could be as straightforward as putting my name on a piece of paper. But the weight of that pen, resting so innocuously on the clipboard, felt immense. I hesitated, my mind racing with second thoughts.
Dr. Hensley’s gaze didn’t waver. His blue eyes seemed to pierce through my defenses, as if he could see the doubts tumbling through my mind. “It won’t be an easy journey,” he said, his voice steady and reassuring, “but it will be worth the reward.”
I swallowed hard. Those words carried a weight that settled deep in my chest. This wasn’t just about recovery or relaxation—it was about facing everything I’d been avoiding, confronting the cracks I’d tried so desperately to ignore. The path ahead wasn’t clear, but something in his tone made me believe it might be worth it.
With trembling hands, I reached for the pen. The smooth barrel felt cool against my fingers as I stared at the blank line awaiting my signature. My chest tightened with the gravity of the choice before me, but I knew I couldn’t let myself overthink it. Before I could second-guess myself, I scrawled my name across the page and added my initials where required.
The moment the pen left the paper, a strange sense of finality washed over me. I had done it. Whatever came next, there was no turning back now.
Chapter THREE
Dr. Hensley took the forms from me, his sharp blue eyes scanning them with meticulous focus before setting them neatly on his desk. “The next step is to get you changed while I evaluate your assessments and then proceed with a physical exam. Normally, this is done in our intake room, but I don’t want you moving just yet—not in your condition. I’m going to grab a nurse and get you a gown.”
He didn’t waste any time. There was an efficiency to his movements, but no urgency that felt rushed or chaotic. Everything he did exuded calm control. He disappeared through the double doors and returned a few minutes later with a light pink gown, a pair of soft, non-slip socks, and a warm blanket folded over his arm. His footsteps were steady as he approached, the quiet confidence in his demeanor making the sterile environment feel a little less intimidating. Before coming closer, he pressed a button on the wall near the doors. A small red light blinked to life above the doorway.
“That should ensure some privacy,” he said, his tone reassuring. Pulling a screen divider across the space between his desk and the table where I lay, he set the items on a chair beside me. “Let’s try sitting up first. If you feel dizzy or faint, let me know.”
He extended his hand, and I took it, welcoming the warmth of his touch. My hands were icy from the cool saline drip, and his steady grip grounded me. As if anticipating my discomfort, he reached over to the now-empty IV bag, clamped the line, and gently detached it from the port in my arm before capping the end.
“As much as I’d prefer starting another bag, that can wait a little while longer,” he said, his voice softening as he studied my reaction.
I managed to sit up without the room spinning, though the relentless pounding in my head made me wince. “I really am okay,” I tried to assure him, but the raised eyebrow he shot me said otherwise. His expression carried an air of quiet authority that reminded me I wasn’t as convincing as I hoped.
Dr. Hensley helped me down from the table, his firm grip steadying me as my feet touched the cold floor. Only when he was sure I could stand on my own did he let go, the sudden absence of his warmth making me acutely aware of how depleted I felt.
“Do you always see patients in your office?” I asked, trying to distract myself from the lingering ache in my limbs.
“Only the ones who need careful observation,” he replied with a faint smile. “Your treatments won’t always be in here, but given the events of this morning, I think this is best. It gives me a chance to keep an eye on you.”
That smile—subtle and fleeting—somehow made me feel safer. It wasn’t the clinical precision of his actions or the wealth of knowledge he clearly possessed that put me at ease. It was that small, human gesture, as though he understood just how fragile I felt without me needing to say a word.
Pulling me from my thoughts, he instructed, “Take your time getting changed. You can place your clothes in here,” he gestured to a wire basket beside the table, “Jewelry too,” he added. “Don’t rush, and if you need help, I’m just on the other side of this curtain.”
I waited until I heard the creak of his chair as he sat down at his desk before I began. My fingers fumbled with the button of my jeans, my body feeling weaker than I expected. As I shimmied out of them, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror across the room. My reflection startled me. The curves I used to have were gone, replaced by sharp angles and protruding bones. My collarbone seemed more prominent than ever, and the hollowness around my hips made me feel strangely exposed. Maybe that was why I had chosen the oversized hoodie this morning—to hide the frailty I hadn’t wanted to face.
Pulling the sweatshirt over my head proved more difficult than I anticipated. I moved cautiously, mindful of the IV port, but even the simple act left me breathless. I sat back down in just my t-shirt and panties, trying to gather my strength.
“Are you doing alright?” Dr. Hensley’s voice cut through the silence. A drawer shut, and I heard his footsteps approaching.
“Yes, just taking a break for a moment,” I admitted, my voice quieter than I intended.
He stepped around the curtain, his eyes meeting mine instantly. He didn’t glance away, didn’t scan my body, but somehow he seemed to take in everything he needed to know. Bending down, he picked up my jeans from the floor and folded them neatly before reaching for my hoodie.
“You don’t have to—” I started, but he silenced me with a firm hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me back into the chair.
“Sit,” he said firmly. “It’s no bother at all.”
He folded the hoodie with the same precision and placed it in the basket beside my jeans. His gaze returned to me, this time softer, but still expectant. “What did you have for breakfast?”
I hesitated, not wanting to admit the truth. His raised brow told me he already knew. “The venti coffee in your car is not an appropriate substitute,” he said, his tone carrying just enough reprimand to make me squirm. “While you’re here, you will be eating a minimum of four to five nutritional meals a day. No exceptions.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “How did you…”
“When you fainted, I asked one of the orderlies to check your car for medications. All he found was the coffee cup.”
I hadn’t realized until then that my purse was missing. My gaze darted around the room, searching for it, but Dr. Hensley gently grasped my chin, tilting my head so I had no choice but to look at him.
“Mrs. Knolty brought me your purse and cell phone. Everything is accounted for. Now, take a deep breath.”
I obeyed, inhaling slowly and exhaling just as he had instructed. His hand moved to my elbow, guiding me to my feet with a steadiness I couldn’t muster on my own. He unfolded the gown with one hand, his movements fluid and practiced.
“I’m steady,” I insisted, though my voice lacked conviction. “I can do it.”
He didn’t respond, his calm authority leaving no room for argument. He turned me gently so I faced away from him, maintaining contact as he unhooked my bra with practiced ease. The cool air against my skin made me shiver, but his professionalism kept the moment from feeling invasive.
Guiding my arms into the sleeves, he fastened the ties at the back, his fingertips brushing against my shoulders as he moved my hair to the side.
When I turned around, he had already folded the rest of my clothes and placed them neatly in the basket. “Panties too,” he said, his tone firm but not unkind.
I hesitated, but the look in his eyes left no room for protest. Leaning down, I shimmied out of them, using his arm for balance. Handing them to him, I felt a strange mix of vulnerability and relief when he simply nodded and placed them in the basket without comment.
“Now, back on the table, Miss Watson,�� he instructed, stepping behind the curtain briefly before returning with his stethoscope and a thick cream-colored folder.
“I’ll be writing down notes and stats during the exam,” he explained as he set the folder down. “Not everything I write signifies something is wrong; these are just observations for my review later. There’s no need to worry.”
I nodded, my attention briefly drawn to the file. My assessment and consent form had already been hole-punched and neatly added to it. Before I could read too much, I felt the squeeze of a blood pressure cuff around my arm. Dr. Hensley adjusted it with precision, gently placing my arm down to ensure an accurate reading before clipping an oxygen sensor onto my finger.
“You left the section of current prescriptions blank,” Dr. Hensley stated, his tone as calm and measured as ever. “Are you taking anything… vitamins or dietary supplements?”
I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt. “I used to take vitamins regularly, but it’s been a few months. With this new work schedule, I’m hardly ever home, let alone remember to take them.”
“Ah, I see. And, no birth control?”
The blood pressure monitor beeped, breaking the momentary silence. He jotted down the numbers, removing the cuff from my arm and slipping the oxygen sensor off my finger.
“No, nothing,” I replied, shifting uncomfortably under his gaze.
He studied me with a hint of curiosity before asking, “Is that a personal choice, or due to medical or religious affiliation?”
I wasn’t about to admit that it had been nearly three years since I’d had sex and hadn’t seen a reason for birth control. Instead, I answered simply, “Personal.”
He didn’t press further, his expression neutral as he observed me. Reaching for my wrist, he placed two fingers against my vein, his eyes on his wristwatch as he silently calculated my heart rate. The simplicity of the action struck me—no machines, just an old-fashioned method that somehow felt more intimate.
“Are you feeling anxious?” he asked, releasing my wrist and sitting back slightly.
I shook my head. “Like I said, I feel fine.”
Dr. Hensley leaned forward, unbuttoning the top few snaps of the gown. He retrieved his stethoscope and placed the cold metal against my chest, making me flinch slightly.
“Sorry,” he murmured. When he finished listening to my heart, he looked up and explained, “Your heart rate is fast. Your body has acclimated to high stress, high anxiety, and now believes this is the new normal. It’s not a lifestyle we encourage, but our intention is to get you back to a healthier baseline by the end of your stay.”
He moved the stethoscope to my back, instructing me to take deep breaths. Afterward, he checked my ears, nose, throat, and pupil response. When he flashed the small penlight into my eyes, I instinctively turned my head away, the brightness making me wince.
He jotted a note in the margins of my file, his pen moving swiftly across the paper. I craned my neck, trying to see what he was writing, but was interrupted when he tapped my knees with a small rubber hammer, testing my reflexes.
“Reflexes are normal,” he said with a small nod. “I’d like to grab a quick height and weight if you feel steady enough.”
I nodded, and he held out a hand to help me off the table. My feet touched the cold floor, and I steadied myself, his hand never leaving mine as we walked across the room. His attentiveness felt protective rather than patronizing, a detail I couldn’t ignore.
He motioned for me to stand tall against the wall, my heels pressed against the baseboard. After noting my height, he gestured for me to step onto the scale. The number staring back at me was disheartening. I’d lost sixteen pounds, likely from skipping meals and overworking myself. My throat tightened with embarrassment, and I avoided looking at him as I stepped away.
Walking back to the table, I felt his presence close behind. My shame swirled in the air between us, but when I finally glanced at him, his expression was gentle, devoid of judgment.
“Go ahead and lie down,” he instructed. He guided my legs onto the table, swiveling me into position with the same care as before. His hands were firm but gentle as he palpated my stomach, pressing carefully across my abdomen.
“Let me know if any of this is tender or painful,” he said. His hands hovered over certain areas, and I winced when he pressed lower. He paused, writing another note in the margins before continuing.
“Tell me about your diet habits,” he prompted.
I sighed, feeling exposed in more ways than one. “I’ve not been the greatest,” I admitted. “I don’t always remember to eat, and when I do, healthier options take more time than I can afford.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “I can see that,” he said, his tone compassionate. “There’s no judgment here. I only wish you’d come sooner. You have a few blockages in your intestines that will be uncomfortable to remove, to say the least.”
My frown deepened as he continued. “As I mentioned earlier, you will eat a minimum of four nutritional meals a day. Processed sugars, simple carbs, and caffeine will be eliminated from your diet. We take a fast and hard approach—ripping off the Band-Aid, so to speak.”
“No caffeine? That’s barbaric,” I muttered, a shiver of dread running through me. “I can’t just cut cold turkey. I can’t function without my morning coffee.”
“You can,” he countered, his voice firm yet reassuring. “I promise you, but you won’t be alone. I’ll be here to help every step of the way. It will be difficult, but your body will thank you later. Caffeine is a drug—legal and normalized, but a drug nonetheless. It exacerbates anxiety and panic attacks, which I hope you understand.”
I slumped against the table, pouting slightly as his words sank in. Seven days. I could survive that long, right? But doubt crept in, the realization hitting me like a freight train. I’d signed away my ability to make decisions. My cell phone was gone, the one lifeline I’d relied on for months stripped from me. For the first time, I felt trapped.
A knock at the door interrupted my spiraling thoughts. A nurse entered carrying a small metal tray, the top covered with a cloth. She set it down on a stand near the table as Dr. Hensley pulled stirrups out from beneath the table and positioned them at my feet.
“Thank you, Mary,” he said warmly, his smile genuine. A pang of longing flickered through me. I wanted him to smile at me like that, but all I’d received so far were fleeting grins and professional detachment.
“Anything else, doctor?” Mary asked, her tone brisk.
Dr. Hensley lifted the cloth, inspecting the tray’s contents. “No, this will do. If you could see to Miss Watson’s room, I’d appreciate it. We won’t be much longer here.”
The nurse nodded and exited, and my eyes followed her until the door clicked shut. The sound of latex snapping against Dr. Hensley’s wrist drew my attention back to him. He had donned gloves, his expression focused as he prepared for the next part of the exam.
“Slide down for me a little,” he instructed. I complied, feeling the edge of the table against my thighs. “That’s perfect.”
He placed my legs in the stirrups and fastened straps around my ankles and thighs. “This is just a precaution,” he said, his tone soothing as he draped the blanket over me, creating a tent-like barrier.
The scent of disinfectant filled the air as he wiped a cool solution over my sensitive skin. I flinched at the temperature, instinctively trying to pull away, but the straps held me in place. “I’m just going to let that dry for a moment,” he explained, removing his gloves.
“When is the last time you had a breast exam?” he asked, his eyes steady on mine.
I shook my head, unable to recall. Watching me closely, he moved closer. “May I?” he asked, his hand hovering near the gown.
I nodded, appreciating the gesture despite knowing he didn’t technically need my consent. His hand slipped under the gown, his touch methodical as he examined my left breast. His movements were professional, but as his thumb grazed my nipple, my breath hitched. Our eyes met, and a flicker of awareness passed between us.
“Are you always this sensitive?” he asked softly.
His touch lingered around my areola, grazing the edge of my nipple on purpose. I closed my eyes while he continued to search for lumps when all of a sudden, he pinched my nipple hard, and my eyes shot open.
“I asked you a question,” he toyed, “are you normally so sensitive?”
I stumbled to find the right words. “I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I haven’t been touched in a long time.”
“I see.” He noted that on my chart and continued to repeat the pattern with my right breast—massaging, lifting, and then tugging on my nipple. My hips raised a little off the table. Something deep within me had awaken and out of nowhere, I was craving to be satisfied on a deeper level.
Opening my eyes when his touch disappeared, I watched him return to my spread legs, his eyes on me when he grabbed a stool. “I know these things can be uncomfortable, but I’ll try to be as gentle as I can.” He pulled on a new pair of gloves and sat between my legs, rolling the cart closer to him. I heard the clank of something metal but couldn’t see anything.
“Take a deep breath in and let it go.”
Out of nowhere I felt something cold and foreign entering my tight bum on the exhale but by the time I clenched, it was too late. It was already inside me.
“Just relax, I’m just getting your temperature.”
I tried to sit up on my elbows. “You couldn’t have used that thermometer?” I pointed to the one next to the blood pressure machine.
He smiled. “I find this method to be more accurate, and it does wonders to keep my patients guessing—reminds them of who is in charge.” A cheeky grin formed on his lips, and I realized, that behind the stoic professionalism was a sadist.
“I don’t need a reminder.” I confessed. “You’re not the one with their legs spread wide.”
He smiled, “Miss Emery, I’ve known you all of two hours now and I can tell you with all honesty, your biggest issue is going to be letting go of your control. You’re going to have to learn to let someone else take care of you, because quite frankly, you don’t seem capable.” He removed the thermometer and jotted down the temperature. “One-hundred and two. I suspected as much.”
Now I was annoyed. “I didn’t come here to be chastised.”
“No, you came here to let me help you feel better.” His voice was stern. “Alright, the next step is a urine sample.”
Again, I tried to pull on the restraints, but forgot that I couldn’t move my legs.
“Not so fast, he rested a hand on my thigh. “You won’t need to move. I’m going to use a catheter to avoid contaminating the sample. Just lay back and try to focus on your breathing.”
My cheeks turned bright red. “Is that really necessary?”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “Yes, Miss Watson, it is. I’ll be quick, I promise, and with the amount of fluids you’ve had already, I know you have to go.”
I did. Badly, but I hadn’t found the right moment to ask to go to the restroom. I was pulled out of my thoughts when his fingers spread my labia and something cold swiped across the distance from my clit to my rose bud. And then again with another swipe. It wasn’t stingy like the alcohol swabs, but it has the same antiseptic smell. I winkled my nose.
“Just try to relax and don’t hold it in. When the urge hits, just let go. I promise you’re not going to make a mess.”
I tried to but there was a burning sensation and then a pinch. My hips rose off the table, stopped by the straps.
“You’re almost there, nearly done now.” He encouraged.
There was another sharp pinch. “Ow.” And then I lost control as if I was wetting myself but I couldn’t stop it.
“It’s a perfectly normal sensation,” Dr. Hensley said, “I’m inflating the balloon now to keep it in place, but you did good.” A few seconds went by. “Even with the fluids, your urine is still darker than I’d like. We’ll start another bag to help rehydrate you after I’m finished with your exam.”
I felt his gloved finger enter my sex and then another as he checked the wall of my vagina in a circular motion, spreading the cold lube.
Just then I felt something cold and hard at the entrance of my sex. “Deep breath and breathe out.” He was slow and gentle like he said he would be and other than the cold metal, there was no discomfort.
The speculum clicked once and then again, spreading me open. “You’re doing great, nearly finished here.” I wanted nothing more than to sink into the emptiness of my mind at the moment. I felt the familiar pinch of the swab on my cervix but it was nothing to the burning sensation of the catheter. A second later, the speculum retracked and he gently removed it.
Breathing normally, I relaxed until I felt a gloved finger enter my bum uninvited.
“Relax. I’m only checking to make sure there are no tears in the tissue. And besides, I think you’ve deserved a treat.” With one finger in my ass, he slipped two more into my vagina, instantly finding my g-spot.
Everything came alive, a whirlwind of sensations burst through to the forefront of my mind as his touch created a circular pattern and sparking a rhythm of intoxicating motions from within. I forgot every embarrassing moment leading up to this, poof—gone.
Closing my eyes, I focused on only the sensation. It was building. And then, his thumb rolled over my clitoris, and I practically melted. My hips raised off the table, and the muscles in my stomach clenched.
His slow, steady repetitious motions were throttling every nerve ending in my body—the fuel to the fire—igniting a flame from within. A moan escaped my lips as he pressed against my g-spot and clit at the same time, and I came loudly.
My body rocked with the flood of endorphins and chemicals. My breathing was labored and instead of the chill I had earlier, my entire body was washed over in a wave of warmth.
When my hips returned to the table, and my body relaxed, he gently pulled his hands free, removed the catheter, and cleaned me with a warm washcloth. In any other moment I probably would have been embarrassed he was cleaning me up after such a powerful orgasm, but I didn’t have an ounce of care in the world.
With a soft touch, he unfastened the buckles on the leather straps and lowered my legs back to the table. I was so high from the orgasm that I hadn’t even noticed he was beside me until I felt him touching my arm. With my curiosity piqued, I watched as he withdrew four vials of blood A second later, he was reattaching another bag of fluids to the port in my arm.
I felt a flood of warmth, not unlike the aftermath of the orgasm, but this time my body felt heavy. I looked over as he pulled a small syringe out of the IV.
“It’s a mild sedative; a little something to help quiet your mind. Get some rest, little one.”
Chapter FOUR
Blinking away the sleep, I found myself in an unfamiliar room. Two small windows sat to my right, a door to my left. Someone had moved me to a twin-sized hospital bed, its railings raised, the curtains drawn shut. At first glance, I had no idea how long I’d been out.
Determined to figure it out, I fumbled with the bedside railing until it finally gave way, falling down with a clank. As I swung my legs over the side, the room spun, forcing me to pause. Just then, the urge hit me like a freight train—I needed to pee.
Panicking, I reached for the IV port tethering me to the equipment.
“Oh no, you don’t.” Dr. Hensley appeared from around the corner, grabbing my wrist firmly before I could yank on the line—again. How did he always manage to show up at just the right moment?
“I have to pee,” I explained, but he didn’t look impressed.
“Then you ask for help.” He crimped the IV line and disconnected the port, freeing me from my "ball and chain."
“It’s just a trip to the bathroom,” I argued. “I think I can manage on my own.”
I stood on shaky legs, only to nearly topple over when my vision blurred and the room spun even harder.
He chuckled softly. “You were saying?” With one hand on my elbow and the other around my waist, he steadied me and guided me toward the attached bathroom. I half expected it to be sterile and clinical, maybe outfitted with pull strings and oversized railings, but it was anything but. The bathroom was elegant, warm, and inviting. Heated tiles in a black-and-white floral pattern lined the floor. A standalone clawfoot tub took center stage, with no shower curtain in sight. Even the stamped aluminum ceiling tiles evoked an air of 1920s charm.
He led me to the toilet, stepping back to give me privacy. Leaving the door slightly ajar, he waited on the other side until he heard the flush.
I was already at the sink, about to wash my hands, when I caught sight of his scolding look in the mirror.
“Being a strong, independent woman is a hard habit to break, Doc. Go easy on me,” I said, trying to deflect.
“I thought I was,” he rebuked, the corner of his lips curling into the faintest smile. Tossing me a towel, he added, “Alright. Back to bed with you. I need another round of vitals, and then we’ll see about getting you something to eat.”
The mention of food didn’t excite me. My appetite had dulled after months of eating sparingly, a habit I hadn’t shaken. And that wasn’t like me—I loved food.
Dr. Hensley seemed to notice my change in demeanor. His eyes lingered curiously, but he didn’t push. Once I was back in bed, he pulled the covers up and reconnected the saline line.
“Shouldn’t a nurse be doing this? Seems like you could be doing better things than hovering over me.”
“Hovering?” he repeated with a unique tone, almost amused. “I thought I was taking care of a patient who apparently needs closer monitoring.” His pointed words reminded me of my earlier attempt to remove the IV.
He wrapped the blood pressure cuff around my arm and clipped the oxygen sensor to my finger. Meeting my eyes, he said, “I can imagine what you’re feeling right now. You’re not the first patient to place proving themselves capable over the desire to get better.”
He paused as the machine beeped. After jotting down the numbers and removing the cuff, he continued, “Here, you’re a patient—my patient. That comes with certain expectations. For example, next time you need to use the restroom, press the call button, and someone will assist you. You might think you’re capable, Miss Watson, but your body is going to endure a tremendous change over the next few days. I won’t jeopardize your health for the sake of your pride.”
“The bathroom is just right there,” I protested. “I thought—”
“You thought you’d do it on your own,” he interrupted, his words sharp enough to send a chill down my spine. Sensing the effect he’d had, he softened his tone. “Your hardest challenge won’t be overcoming the withdrawal; it will be learning to let go—to give up control. Don’t you agree?”
I hesitated, then shrugged. Maybe I was a control freak. It had always been my way of soothing anxiety—controlling situations to manage outcomes, to feel prepared, less panicked. After a moment, I nodded.
“Acknowledgment is a step in the right direction.” He placed a hand on my shoulder, the simple gesture easing some of my tension. “Now, roll onto your side and face the door.”
Without questioning why, I did as he asked.
“That’s very good,” he said softly, lifting the blanket. His hand brushed my thigh as he adjusted the gown, and only then did I realize what he was doing.
“Just a quick temperature check. From the feel of it, you’re still running a high fever.” There wasn’t much warning before I felt his lubed finger pressing into me, spreading the cool gel, followed quickly by the thermometer. Instinctively, I tried to pull away, but his hand held me firmly in place.
“That’s it. You’re doing great,” he reassured me, his fingertips making small, soothing circles on my thigh. And just like that, it was over.
He sighed as he glanced at the thermometer and jotted something down in his notes. “Still one hundred and two. I’ll give you something to bring it down. We don’t want your fever climbing higher.”
After removing his gloves and sanitizing his hands, he stepped out, leaving me alone. The quiet felt heavier than it should have. I hated feeling vulnerable, and yet, part of me wanted him to come back—to tell me everything would be alright.
Moments later, he returned with Nurse Mary, who carried a lunch tray. She placed it at the foot of the bed, then pulled back the heavy curtains to reveal sheer white drapes. Sunlight flooded the room, and I shielded my eyes with my arm.
“Sorry, dear,” Mary said with a cheerful tone. “But the light will do you good. No point in dwelling in the dark.”
I fought the urge to retort, rolling my eyes instead.
“There will be none of that,” Dr. Hensley said firmly, his low voice startling me. I hadn’t even realized he was standing beside me. “Understand?”
I nodded, feeling more like a reprimanded child than a grown adult who had voluntarily come here.
Maybe that had been my mistake. I had done this to myself.
“Very good.” Dr. Hensley gave me one last warning look before withdrawing several leads with sticky pads from a nearby cart. He opened the front of my gown with practiced precision and began placing the pads in their appropriate spots. “This will help us monitor your heart through the night. Try not to pull them off in your sleep, or you’ll be woken up by an angry nurse.”
Mary, standing behind him, smiled warmly. “Don’t let him scare you, sweetie. We’re mostly bark, hardly any bite. It’s the good doctor you’ll need to watch out for—he’s the disciplinarian here.”
“Lovely,” I muttered under my breath, earning a devilish grin from Dr. Hensley. A moment later, he connected the leads, and the heart rate monitor came alive with a loud beep. He turned the volume down, though its faint hum remained a constant reminder that I wasn’t in my own bed—that I was being closely monitored.
Mary stepped forward and moved the tray in front of me, revealing a bowl of thin broth, a glass of bright blue liquid that I presumed was Gatorade, and a cup of ice.
“When you said food, I thought you actually meant something edible—not this,” I said, eyeing the tray with distaste.
Mary was quick to respond before Dr. Hensley could. “Your body is severely dehydrated, and these will be gentle on your stomach. Plus, they’re packed with nutrients.”
Dr. Hensley added, “Once we have your blood results, I can tailor your meals more appropriately. Until then, we’ll tread cautiously.” As he spoke, he reached into the pocket of his white coat, withdrawing a pre-filled syringe. After purging the air with a soft spray, he injected the contents into the IV line with a steady hand before tidying up the area.
With a curt nod to Mary and a lingering look in my direction, he turned and disappeared out the door.
“Well now, dear,” Mary said, her voice bright and encouraging, “drink up.”
Chapter FIVE
I must have dozed off because when I woke, a massive headache gripped me like a vice. The pain pulsed deep within my skull, unrelenting and cruel, and I knew no pain medication could touch it. Nearly on the verge of tears, I tossed and turned, my eyes clamped shut as if denying the pain could will it away. At some point after lunch, someone had drawn the curtains shut, mercifully blocking out the light. It was my only saving grace in that agonizing moment.
Another tray of liquid broth had been delivered and placed on the bedside table, but I had no desire for it. What I truly craved was coffee—or tea, at the very least. Anything with a kick that could make the headache relent. The longing gnawed at me, a cruel reminder of how deeply caffeine had burrowed into my daily existence.
Mary came back, her presence a quiet shuffle of motion around the room. She urged me to eat, her voice soft but insistent. Still, I refused. The first bowl of broth had been fine, even flavorful, but it hadn’t satisfied the gnawing emptiness in my stomach. My body ached for something more substantial, though my mind and heart seemed dead-set against food. After a few ignored pleas, she helped me to the restroom and then back into bed. There were no detours, no conversations—just silence and a shared sense of resignation.
“Please, can I just have some coffee?” I begged her, my voice almost breaking. “My headache is killing me.”
Mary offered me a sympathetic look as she adjusted the blankets around me. “I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable, dear. I’ll let the doctor know, but I’m afraid he isn’t easily swayed—no matter how bad things get.” Her words carried a note of finality, and she left me curled up in the bed, shivering despite the layers of covers.
The fever hadn’t broken. I rubbed my arms, futilely trying to erase the goosebumps that seemed permanently etched into my skin. Time blurred into an untrackable haze, and I wasn’t sure how long it had been since Mary left. When I finally opened my eyes again, Dr. Hensley was standing beside the machine, studying the readout with an air of quiet authority. He glanced down at me, offering a soft smile that managed to pierce the fog of my discomfort.
Beside him hung another bag of saline, its clear contents catching the dim light. I hadn’t been keeping track, but I was certain my dehydration should have been long gone by now. They’d been pumping fluids into me since I arrived.
“Your headache has returned? How bad is the pain?” he asked, his voice low and calm as he hung the new bag with practiced efficiency. I groaned inwardly when he reached for the glass thermometer. That little device was becoming my least favorite thing in the world.
“Please,” I pleaded, desperate. “I need some coffee. Just a little bit to take the edge off.”
“Your pain, Emery.” He arched an eyebrow, his tone signaling he wasn’t about to let me evade the question.
“It’s fine. I can manage,” I lied, though the pounding in my head betrayed the truth.
His lips pressed into a thin line, skepticism evident, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he motioned for me to roll over, the thermometer gleaming in his hand.
“No,” I said firmly, shaking my head. “Not until you listen to me.”
Dr. Hensley’s gaze softened, his voice quieter than before. “I am listening to you, Emery. I can see you’re distressed—the hot and cold flashes, the perspiration on your skin, the light sensitivity, and your irritability. I’ve heard your pleas, but giving you what you want in this moment won’t help. It will only set you back. You need to trust that I know what I’m doing.”
I sighed, the fight draining out of me as his hand gently guided me to roll onto my side. Each time he took my temperature this way, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Thankfully, he couldn’t see the mortifying red hue of my blush.
Was I really irritable? Maybe. The headache alone was enough to fray anyone’s nerves, but it wasn’t just that. I hadn’t even begun to process what had happened back at the office. Images of that day flickered in my mind, sharp and intrusive. I shook my head, pushing them away.
“Something else bothering you?” he asked as he pulled the thermometer free and tucked the blanket back around me.
I shook my head again, dismissing the question.
Sensing my hesitance, he shifted gears. “I see you haven’t touched your food. Is something wrong with it?”
Finally finding my voice, I replied, “No, it’s fine. I’m just not interested right now. I’m sure it tastes wonderful—I’m just not hungry.”
Dr. Hensley rolled the table over and lowered the guard rail of the bed. “Hungry or not, you need to keep your strength up—even if that means eating when you don’t feel like it.”
He opened the thermos, pouring the steaming broth into a mug. Handing it to me, he said, “I’ll make you a deal. If you drink two cups, I’ll see what I can do about finding some chocolate. It’s not coffee, but it might help with the cravings.”
“I thought you weren’t easily swayed,” I countered, narrowing my eyes.
“I know when to pick my battles and when to surrender. Let’s call this one a truce.” He winked at me, his charm impossible to resist as he placed the warm mug in my hands. The heat seeped into my chilled fingers, and for a moment, I allowed myself to savor the comfort.
As if reading my mind, he ducked into the hallway. Moments later, he returned with a heated blanket. He wrapped it around me, his movements efficient yet careful. “It’s getting late,” he said. “Nurse Heidi will be on shift tonight. She’ll check on you within the hour. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to press the call button—that’s what she’s here for. And if things get worse, they know to wake me. I’m just down the hall.”
“Wait,” I said, setting the soup down. “You live here?”
He arched a playful brow. “I do. Being close to my patients can be useful. It allows me to keep a closer eye on the troublesome ones.”
“Don’t look at me,” I quipped, raising my hands in mock defense.
He chuckled. “No, you’ve been surprisingly well-behaved. It’s been a delightful surprise.”
“You thought I’d be a troublemaker, didn’t you?”
“There’s still time, and plenty of reasons for you to rebel in the near future.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Dr. Hensley picked up the mug and placed it back in my hands. “Drink up. I won’t tell you again. I expect the second cup gone by the time Nurse Heidi checks on you.”
I took a sip absentmindedly, barely registering the taste.
“Your lab results will be back in the morning,” he said. “We’ll try to get you something more appetizing tomorrow—if you’re feeling up to it.”
“Why wouldn’t I be? Anything is better than this liquid diet.”
“Because this is just the calm before the storm. Get some rest, Emery. I’ll check on you in the morning.” His tone carried a subtle warning, but his concern was evident. I watched him as he left, a strange mix of apprehension and comfort settling over me.
No more than twenty minutes later, Nurse Heidi entered the room, bringing a burst of energy with her. She appeared younger than me—mid-twenties, if I had to guess—with long, bouncy curls and striking greenish-blue eyes that seemed to shimmer with enthusiasm. Her steps were light, almost playful, and every movement exuded a liveliness I couldn’t help but envy.
“Good evening,” she greeted with a bright smile. “You must be Emery. I’m Nurse Heidi, but you can just call me Heidi. No need to get formal with me—I think it’s silly.” She moved to the edge of the bed, her cheerful demeanor as disarming as it was uplifting.
“Nice to meet you, Heidi,” I replied, slightly awed by how chipper she sounded. Even her voice carried an infectious warmth I hadn’t encountered in a long time.
“Well, everything looks good here,” she said, glancing at the monitors. “I see Dr. Hensley has already recorded your vitals.” She flipped through my chart, her brows furrowing slightly. “I’ll check with him to see if I can give you something for the headache. Looks like the last dose is out of your system already.”
“That would be amazing,” I said, relief seeping into my tone. “My head feels like someone split it open.”
“Oh, you poor thing.” She reached for the bedside table, sliding it away to tidy up. Picking up the thermos, she gave it a little shake to gauge its weight. “Dr. Hensley will be pleased to hear you’ve been drinking more broth.” Then, with a knowing grin, she reached into the pocket of her scrubs and pulled out a small bar of dark chocolate. “I believe this was the deal.”
“Uhh, thanks.” I didn’t wait another second. Tearing open the wrapper, I broke off a piece and popped it into my mouth. The bittersweet flavor melted across my tongue, a small indulgence that felt almost decadent in my current state.
“I know that feeling,” Heidi said, her grin widening. “Even though I’m not a patient here, Dr. Hensley runs a tight ship. He has a point, though—it’s not fair to indulge in things our patients can’t. Chocolate is probably one of the only sweet treats in the entire building, and even then, it’s dark chocolate with barely any added sugar.”
As she spoke, she busied herself tidying up the space, her movements quick and efficient. There was something soothing about her presence, a stark contrast to the lingering headache that still throbbed at the base of my skull. After a moment, she pulled out her work phone, skimmed a message, and left the room.
Several minutes later, Heidi returned, this time with a syringe in hand. I watched her closely, a flicker of hope sparking within me. The prospect of pain relief felt like salvation. My relief only deepened as she pushed the plunger into the IV line, the familiar cool sensation spreading through my veins.
Almost immediately, the pain began to ebb. I wasn’t sure if it was the chocolate or the medication—or both—but a pleasant, floaty sensation took hold, washing away the tension and replacing it with a gentle calm.
As I started to relax, Heidi reached for another glass bottle with a label so tiny I couldn’t make out the text. She began filling a second syringe, her focus entirely on the task at hand. The faint hiss of the plunger clearing air from the needle pulled me out of my haze.
“What is that?” I asked, a thread of unease creeping into my voice.
Heidi didn’t answer right away, intent on ensuring the syringe was ready. Then, as she pressed the plunger into the IV line, she said casually, “This will help you sleep.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but before the words could form, I felt the liquid take effect. My eyelids grew impossibly heavy, the haze of drowsiness descending faster than I anticipated.
“I don’t need drugs to sleep—” I tried to say, but my voice trailed off, barely audible. Frustration flared briefly as I realized I hadn’t even finished my chocolate.
And then the darkness claimed me, drawing me into a deep, dreamless void.
Chapter SIX
The night was a haze of restless sleep, filled with tossing and turning that left me groggy and disoriented. The sedatives they’d given me dulled my senses, leaving me adrift in a fog where time felt meaningless. When I finally woke, the hallway was dimly lit, the glow from the sconces casting soft shadows on the walls. The silence felt almost oppressive, amplifying the sound of my breathing as I pushed the damp covers off my body, desperate to free myself from their stifling grip.
Everything was wet. At first, I thought it was just sweat—proof of the fever that had wracked my body the day before—but as I sat up, the clammy fabric of my gown clung to my skin, and I realized it was far worse. My gown was soaked from the waist down, as was the bed beneath me.
No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening.
Panic clawed at my chest as the reality sank in: I had wet the bed. My face burned with humiliation, the kind of shame that seeped into your bones and refused to let go. I scrambled out of the bed, my movements clumsy and frantic as I tried to figure out what to do. If I could just strip the sheets and replace them before anyone noticed, I could avoid the mortifying task of explaining myself.
But as I reached for the farthest corner of the sheet, one of the heart monitor leads came loose. The machine’s alarm blared to life, its sharp, piercing sound cutting through the silence like a knife. My heart sank. The nurse would come running, and what would she see? She’d see the mess I’d made, the undeniable evidence of my loss of control.
Shaking my head, I muttered to myself, “Shit, shit, shit.”
Shaking my head, I muttered to myself, “No, no, no, this can’t be happening.” Frantically, I grabbed the dangling wire, fumbling to reconnect it before anyone could come. But before I could fix it, I saw a shadowy silhouette in the doorway.
Heidi stepped into the room, her gaze immediately taking in the scene. Her expression softened as she quickly made her way around the bed. “Oh, you poor thing,” she said gently, reaching behind me to silence the alarm. The sudden quiet felt deafening, leaving me alone with the weight of my shame.
“I’m so sorry,” I stammered, my voice trembling. “Please, let me clean it up. It was an accident.”
She shushed me softly. “First things first.” Her hands found mine, her touch steadying. “You’ve done nothing wrong. These things happen.”
“No, they don’t,” I whispered, shaking my head in disbelief. “Not to adults.”
Her response was calm, almost dismissive. “Emery, your body is under a lot of stress right now. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” She waved her hand as if the incident were inconsequential, but to me, it wasn’t. The last time this had happened, I was a toddler. This wasn’t just embarrassing—it was devastating.
The room spun again, and I swayed on unsteady legs. Heidi caught me quickly, her grip firm but kind. She undid the remaining leads and the IV line before guiding me slowly toward the bathroom. Pushing the door open, she ushered me to a small chair in the corner. “Why don’t you sit here for a few minutes while I tidy up the room? When I’m finished, I’ll come back and help clean you up. Sound good?”
I nodded weakly, words failing me. She shut the door behind her, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I sank into the chair, my head falling into my hands as a wave of defeat washed over me. My muscles ached, my mind felt sluggish, and worst of all, I had lost control of the most basic bodily function. The humiliation was suffocating. I hadn’t felt this powerless in my entire life.
 Determined to reclaim a shred of dignity, I stood on shaky legs, gripping the countertop for support. Slowly, I reached behind me to untie the strings of my gown. The knot at the nape of my neck came loose easily, and I moved to the tie at my waist. Just as I started to pull, the door creaked open.
“Thanks, Heidi, but I think I can manage,” I said without turning around.
A deep voice, smooth and steady, replied instead. “I thought we agreed you’d let me help you.”
His words sent a shiver down my spine. Dr. Hensley was inches from me, his breath grazing the exposed skin of my collarbone. Before I could spin around, his hands found my hips, grounding me in place. The warmth of his touch steadied me, and in that moment, I was grateful for the support. The sudden movement had made me nauseous.
“Are you going to let me help you?” he asked, his tone firm but patient.
I nodded because my voice refused to cooperate.
“Good girl,” he whispered, his words low and deliberate. Reaching past me, he turned on the water, letting it run over his wrist to check the temperature. Once satisfied, he moved to stand in front of me. It was only then that I noticed his casual attire—a simple white cotton t-shirt and scrub bottoms. A small grin tugged at my lips when I saw his bare feet.
He followed my gaze, a sheepish smile breaking through his usual professionalism. “I heard the heart monitor alarm and rushed over.”
Oh. That meant he knew what had happened.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly.
I avoided his gaze, my cheeks burning with shame. Shaking my head, I bit back the tears threatening to spill.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Emery. Your body is under immense stress right now.”
I expected him to press further, but instead, he busied himself untying the last knot of my gown. His movements were efficient yet gentle as he helped me step out of the damp fabric.
“I really can take it from here,” I murmured, feeling vulnerable under his watchful gaze.
“Not a chance,” he replied firmly. “The sedative we gave you is still in your system. I’m not leaving you alone in here.”
“But Nurse Heidi—”
“—has other patients to attend to. You’re stuck with me.” His tone left no room for argument.
The tub filled quickly, the gentle sound of the water breaking the tense silence. I tried to focus on the warmth rising around me instead of the mortifying realization that Dr. Hensley was about to oversee my bath.
He took my hand, guiding me carefully into the tub. The instant the warm water surrounded me, my muscles began to relax. A deep sigh of relief escaped my lips, the tension in my body melting away.
While I soaked, Dr. Hensley moved about the room, retrieving soaps and shampoos from the cabinet. He set two fluffy towels on the sink before bringing everything over to the tub.
“Alright, let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, placing his hand gently at the base of my head. He guided me down into the water, and when I surfaced, I instinctively reached for the shampoo. He swatted my hand away, his expression amused but firm.
“Let me,” he said, pouring the honey-scented shampoo into his hands.
His fingertips worked methodically through my hair, massaging my scalp with a tenderness that caught me off guard. I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch. It was oddly comforting, a simple act of care that I hadn’t realized I needed.
“This isn’t so hard, is it?” he murmured. “It’s amazing what happens when you let go.”
“Mm-hmm,” I mumbled, too relaxed to form proper words.
He rinsed my hair with the sprayer, scrubbing my scalp gently, then worked conditioner through my strands with the same careful attention. When he finally finished, I found myself wishing the moment had lasted longer.
But he wasn’t done. After lathering up a loofah, he began washing me, his touch steady and impersonal. The scent of the soap tickled a memory at the back of my mind, something familiar but elusive. It wasn’t until I caught a glimpse of the Johnson & Johnson bottle beside him that I realized what it was—baby soap.
What an odd choice for a scent. My mind churned, searching for a logical explanation. Maybe the soap was designed for sensitive skin, gentler than most. That made sense—sort of. Still, the faint aroma of baby soap tugged at something in me, a strange mix of nostalgia and discomfort that I couldn’t quite place.
Before I could dwell further, my thoughts were abruptly interrupted. His hand reached between my legs, and I instinctively jerked back in surprise.
“I can do that,” I blurted, my voice shaky as I moved to intercept him.
“You could,” he replied calmly, unfazed by my reaction, “but I’m not going to let you.” His tone was firm yet gentle, leaving no room for argument.
Heat flushed through me as he continued his task, scrubbing every inch of my skin with meticulous care. I squirmed under his touch, the vulnerability nearly overwhelming. There was nowhere to hide, nowhere to escape his thoroughness. Every intimate, sensitive, and vulnerable area was cleaned, leaving me feeling utterly exposed.
By the time he was finished, I was sure my face was a deep, burning red. The embarrassment radiated from me, but he seemed entirely unaffected, his clinical demeanor unwavering.
When he helped me stand to rinse off, the warm water offered a brief respite, washing away the remnants of soap and, for a fleeting moment, the weight of my mortification. Afterward, he wrapped me snugly in a towel, his hands steady and professional. “Sit here,” he instructed, gesturing toward a small chair near the counter. “I’ll grab a fresh gown.”
Without waiting for a response, he left the room, taking my soiled garments with him. I sat there, the towel clinging to my damp skin, feeling raw and exposed in a way I hadn’t anticipated. This was supposed to be about recovery, wasn’t it? So why did I feel like I was losing pieces of myself in the process?
A few minutes later, he returned, holding a pink gown. My stomach sank when I noticed the tiny hearts scattered across the fabric. Of course, it had to be hearts. I opened my mouth to protest but quickly shut it again. What was the point? He wouldn’t let me dress myself anyway. Resigned, I allowed him to help me into the gown, his movements efficient and deliberate.
Once I was dressed, he knelt in front of me, his gaze steady and calm. “Before we get you back into bed, I need you to keep an open mind. Can you do that for me?”
It was a simple request, yet the weight of his words felt heavier than they should have. I nodded softly, unsure of what he meant.
He guided me toward the bed, holding the door open for me. But as soon as I saw what was waiting on the edge of the mattress, my feet stopped cold. Sitting there, plain as day, was an adult-sized diaper.
My heart sank, and I shook my head in disbelief. This had to be a joke. Surely, he didn’t—
I took a step back, but my retreat was quickly halted by the solid wall of his chest. His hand rested lightly on my lower back, grounding me even as my mind spiraled.
“Remember, keep an open mind,” he reminded me, his voice steady and soothing. “This isn’t a punishment—I want that to be very clear, Emery. This is simply a solution to ensure you don’t have to wake up to another accident.”
The warmth of his hand steadied me, but my thoughts raced. I moved forward mechanically as he gently guided me toward the bed, my body betraying the protests screaming in my head.
“I promise it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be,” he continued, his tone encouraging. “Who knows, you might even be surprised at how comfortable it is.”
“Somehow, I doubt that,” I muttered, my deadpan tone rewarded with a soft chuckle.
Reluctantly, I laid down on the bed, dread pooling in my stomach. “Wait, you’re not going to—”
“I am,” he confirmed without hesitation. His hands were steady as he unfolded the diaper, lifted my legs, and slid it beneath me with practiced ease.
“No, no,” I protested weakly, shaking my head as heat flooded my cheeks. The humiliation was almost unbearable, and I tried to squirm away, but his firm grip held me in place.
“Shh,” he soothed, his voice calm yet unyielding. “It’s okay, Emery. Just relax.”
The words were meant to comfort, but they only heightened my embarrassment. In a matter of moments, the diaper was snugly fastened around my waist. The soft padding was warm against my skin, but the bulk between my legs was impossible to ignore. My cheeks burned, the humiliation wrapping around me like a suffocating blanket.
He gave my bottom a gentle pat, pulling the covers over me with a practiced efficiency. “There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
I shook my head faintly, unable to form a coherent response. “I don’t have to use it, right?” I managed, my voice trembling. “This is only for accidents?”
“If that would make you more comfortable, then yes—for accidents only,” he assured me, his tone kind and understanding.
As he reconnected the saline line and replaced the sticky heart rate nodes on my chest, I noticed the syringe in his hand. My stomach twisted at the sight.
“I can fall asleep without it,” I said quickly, my voice tinged with desperation. “Really, I don’t need it. It makes me so fuzzy, and I don’t—”
“…You don’t want to have another accident,” he finished for me, his understanding clear. He paused, considering my plea. “I’ll hold off for now, but only if you’re able to sleep through the night. I’ll leave instructions with Nurse Heidi to administer more if necessary. You need restful sleep, Emery, and I won’t deprive you of that for the sake of avoiding an accident.”
I nodded, grateful for the compromise. It was a small victory, but in that moment, it felt monumental.
Chapter SEVEN
After the doctor left, falling asleep was far more difficult than I’d imagined. Restlessness consumed me, and every attempt to find comfort felt futile. The headache returned with relentless force, a searing, pulsing pain that radiated through my skull. My body ached in unfamiliar places, muscles I never noticed before now screaming for reprieve. Waves of nausea rolled through me, leaving me queasy and weak.
It felt like I’d just stepped off the world’s most disorienting rollercoaster, my stomach caught in the relentless cycle of ups and downs. I had no idea what time it was, but a faint glow filtered into the hallway through the skylights above, hinting at the passage of time I couldn’t grasp.
I clutched my head with both hands, curling inward, willing the pain to dissipate. It never did. Distant voices echoed faintly, disjointed and surreal. For a moment, I wondered if I was losing my mind. Was that even possible? Maybe.
This was my doing. I had willingly checked myself into this place. A consent form tethered me to this nightmare, but the reality of my decision gnawed at me. Embarrassment, humiliation, and pain collided into one unbearable weight. All I wanted was to leave, to escape the mortifying moments I’d endured and the ones surely still to come.
A cold touch jolted me from my spiraling thoughts. My body jerked instinctively, my eyes barely opening to see Heidi standing over me. Even the soft light in the room felt harsh against my pounding head.
Go away. The silent plea echoed in my mind, but Heidi remained unfazed.
I clenched my eyes shut, wishing the world would vanish, wishing I could somehow transport myself to the nearest coffee shop and drown my misery in a steaming cup of relief. I never imagined withdrawal could feel like this, that something as simple as caffeine could leave such a brutal mark. It only cemented my resolve—this was the last time I would ever give it up.
What was stopping me from leaving? A piece of paper? An IV line? Surely, I could defy those flimsy barriers.
Heidi’s voice broke through the haze as she gently shook me, her concern evident. She tried to wrap a blood pressure cuff around my arm, but I swatted her away, wanting only solitude. Her tone shifted, the bubbly warmth from before replaced with a firmer, more authoritative edge. Despite her persistence, I refused to cooperate, my patience and energy depleted.
Eventually, Heidi left, her absence both a relief and a gnawing void. The room swayed as nausea surged again, threatening to consume me. A bowl of something rested on the table beside the bed. I had no memory of its arrival, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t hungry.
The pounding in my head and the gnawing sickness were too much. I couldn’t do this anymore. This place, this pain—it had all become unbearable. Rolling onto my side, I began yanking at the monitor leads and the IV line. The machine let out a sharp alarm as the IV clattered to the floor, blood splattering against the tile.
Before I could stand, strong arms pulled me back down, pinning me to the bed. Dr. Hensley loomed above me, his frame commanding and unyielding. His arms formed a cage around me, pressing me into the mattress with controlled strength.
“Get off me!” I shouted, shoving at his chest. He didn’t budge. “I’m leaving, and you can’t stop me!”
Dr. Hensley remained calm, his expression unreadable as he turned to Heidi. “Prepare the five-point system. She’s far too agitated for my liking.”
My chest tightened with panic as I twisted and thrashed against his grip. “No! Let me go!”
“How long has she been like this?” he asked Heidi, his tone clipped. “Why wasn’t I woken earlier?”
Heidi moved swiftly, retrieving something from beneath the bed. My stomach dropped as realization set in—it was a restraint system.
“She seemed fine earlier,” Heidi explained, securing one of my wrists in a thick leather restraint lined with soft fur. “Tired, grumpy, maybe a little dismissive, but I thought it was just the caffeine detox.”
“No! Stop!” I pulled and twisted, but the restraints held firm. My panic intensified as Dr. Hensley secured my other wrist, his strength rendering my resistance futile.
Working in sync, they restrained my ankles next, spreading my legs wider than I cared for. Finally, a thick strap was pulled across my abdomen, pinning me completely. My body was immobilized, the reality of my situation crashing down on me.
Dr. Hensley’s blue eyes softened as he looked down at me, his tone calm but firm. “It’s going to be okay, Emery. This is the worst of it. The toxins are leaving your body, but you need to relax and let us help you.”
I shook my head, my voice trembling. “I don’t want your help. Just let me go.”
Ignoring my protests, he turned to Heidi. “Get me a new port, alcohol wipes, and some gloves.”
I barely registered his words, my focus consumed by the restraints and the overwhelming desire to escape. I pulled hard against the bindings, the bed bouncing beneath me.
“Emery,” he called, his voice sharp. “I need you to look at me.”
I refused, turning my head defiantly.
“Look at me, Emery,” he repeated, his voice firmer now. “I won’t tell you again.”
Reluctantly, I met his gaze. His blue eyes were steady, filled with a mix of authority and concern. “Take a deep breath with me,” he instructed. “Think you can do that?”
“No!” I snapped, my frustration boiling over. “I don’t want your stupid breathing exercises! I want to leave this fucking place!”
Dr. Hensley’s eyebrows shot up at my outburst, his shock evident. He leaned closer, his tone low and deliberate. “This is your only warning. If you continue to use foul language, you’ll receive a swift and unpleasant spanking. Do you understand me?”
His words stunned me into silence. Surely, he wasn’t serious. Was he? My defiance faltered, shame creeping in as I avoided his gaze. I didn’t recognize myself—the anger, the fear, the desperation swirling inside me.
Dr. Hensley gently gripped my chin, guiding my attention back to him. His eyes held a look of disappointment, but also patience. I couldn’t summon the energy to fight anymore. With a small, defeated nod, I surrendered.
Heidi returned with the supplies, and the two of them worked seamlessly. As she cleaned the old IV site, Dr. Hensley carefully searched for a new vein on my forearm, avoiding my wrist and inner elbow. The restraints restricted their access, but they didn’t falter.
I stared at the ceiling, the fight drained from me, tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. I hated this place, but more than that, I hated the person I’d become.
Dr. Hensley worked efficiently, reseating the IV line with precision and securing the tubing with clear tape. His movements were practiced and confident, a stark contrast to the turmoil churning inside me. Turning his attention back to Heidi, he issued instructions in his usual calm but authoritative tone.
“Ensure Nurse Mary is fully briefed on the situation. The restraints stay on until I give further orders. Keep the fluids running, monitor vitals every thirty minutes, and watch for any temperature fluctuations or changes in fluid output. Cease all medications—she needs to get through this last hurdle unaided.”
“Yes, Doctor. I’ll notify you immediately if anything changes,” Heidi replied, her professionalism unwavering.
With a curt nod, Dr. Hensley turned and disappeared down the dimly lit hallway, his bare feet padding softly against the floor. The sound of his departure felt oddly final, leaving me alone with Nurse Heidi and my fraying nerves.
An awkward silence settled between us, but something had shifted. Gone was the warm, bubbly demeanor Heidi had greeted me with earlier. She moved with focused efficiency, her actions brisk but not unkind. As she double-checked her work, I couldn’t help but pull and strain against the restraints, the cold leather biting into my skin as I tested every clasp and buckle.
Heidi sighed softly, her patience unwavering. She moved around the bed, ensuring each restraint was secure enough to prevent escape but loose enough to avoid cutting off circulation. Her fingers worked deftly, but there was no denying the tension in the room. My struggles only seemed to deepen her resolve.
“You’re not making this any easier, you know,” she said gently, her voice laced with sympathy. “I understand how frustrating this must be, but fighting only makes it harder—on your body and your mind.”
Her words stung, mostly because they were true. My muscles were already aching from the earlier thrashing, and my wrists burned where the restraints had rubbed against my skin. Despite my growing exhaustion, I couldn’t stop pulling against the bonds, as if sheer force of will could set me free.
After a final inspection of the restraints, Heidi straightened and met my gaze. “I’ll be back to check on you regularly,” she said, her tone softer now, tinged with an apology she couldn’t quite put into words. “It’s best not to fight anymore. You’ll only hurt yourself. If you need anything, the call button is right by your hand.”
Her eyes lingered on mine for a moment, an unspoken understanding passing between us. Then, with a small, almost apologetic smile, she turned and slipped out of the room, the soft click of the door closing behind her leaving me alone with my thoughts.
The quiet pressed in, heavy and suffocating, as I stared up at the ceiling, the weight of my situation settling over me like a lead blanket. I had lost the fight—at least for now.
Chapter EIGHT
The remainder of the night was an endless stretch of agony. Waves of nausea pulled me under, leaving me heaving over the ugly pink bucket Heidi held at my side. Her soft words of comfort and reassuring touches did little to soothe the misery. I wanted it to end—desperately.
Time blurred, and the moments I was conscious were spent fighting to shut everything out. When Dr. Hensley arrived in the morning to begin his rounds, I kept my gaze fixed on the ceiling, hoping he’d vanish if I ignored him.
He started with his usual thoroughness, taking vitals the old-school way. He counted my pulse, took my temperature—rectally, of course—and then moved on to listening to my heart and checking my pupils. His fingers pressed against my abdomen with clinical precision, but when he reached a particularly tender spot, I flinched. Heidi tried to intervene, her voice laced with concern.
“Doctor, that area—”
Dr. Hensley held up a hand, silencing her with calm authority. “I’m aware, Heidi. It’s necessary.”
He jotted down notes with an air of detachment, though his gaze occasionally flicked to my face, watching my reactions. When his hand pressed lower, the pressure on my bladder became unbearable, and I tensed instinctively.
“You’re dry,” he remarked matter-of-factly, turning to Heidi. “When was her last urination, and how much?”
Heidi hesitated, her voice tinged with nervousness. “I’m sorry, sir, but she’s refusing to go. I would have helped her to the bathroom, but given the restraints and everything that happened last night… I was just about to seek your guidance.”
Dr. Hensley’s tone softened. “No, it’s quite alright. I anticipated some control issues when I accepted her case. Inform Mary I’ll be handling Miss Watson this morning. Get some rest, Heidi. You did excellent work last night.”
Heidi’s face lit up at the rare compliment, and she left with a small smile, leaving me alone with him.
I hadn’t even reached the twenty-four-hour mark, and I was already beyond humiliated. What made it worse was the way they spoke about me as if I weren’t even there.
Dr. Hensley turned back to me, his expression kind but firm. He placed a hand on my thigh, his touch grounding me in the moment. “Emery, I know this has been an incredibly difficult night for you. Normally, I wouldn’t offer my patients choices this early in their treatment, but I want to help make this a little easier. Can you try to trust me?”
I couldn’t meet his gaze, shame burning hot in my chest. “Do you really understand?” I asked quietly, not sure if I believed him.
“I do,” he said with absolute confidence. “You’re a grown woman, and society has conditioned you to feel ashamed in situations like this. But here, there is no judgment. Losing control in a controlled environment is nothing to be afraid of.”
His words were surprisingly disarming. I found myself looking into his eyes, drawn in by the sincerity behind them.
“The sooner you stop fighting this process, the easier it will get for you,” he continued. His hand pressed gently on my bladder, and the growing pressure became unbearable. I clenched my legs together, resisting with every ounce of willpower I had left.
But when the inevitable happened, my defenses crumbled. I closed my eyes, swallowing my pride as the floodgates gave way.
“There,” he said softly, his tone soothing. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
I couldn’t answer. My cheeks burned with humiliation as he quickly and efficiently cleaned me up. He slid a fresh diaper beneath me, pausing only to meet my gaze again.
“I’m proud of you, Emery,” he said, his voice gentle. “And I want to reward you for being such a good girl. First, I want you to close your eyes and relax. Can you do that for me?”
Numbly, I nodded, desperate to shut out the world and escape into the darkness behind my eyelids. But my thoughts didn’t wander far before I felt his hand against me, his thumb brushing over my clit with purposeful intent. My body jolted with the unexpected sensation, and I tried to process what was happening.
His movements were gentle but calculated, his touch igniting a fire I hadn’t felt in years. As his gloved fingers slipped inside me, finding my most sensitive spot with precision, my body betrayed me. My hips rose instinctively, restrained by the band across my waist, and I felt myself surrendering to the overwhelming pleasure.
Dr. Hensley’s rhythm was deliberate, coaxing me higher and higher until I couldn’t hold back any longer. The orgasm washed over me like a tidal wave, leaving me breathless and trembling. I collapsed against the bed, utterly spent.
“You see?” he said softly, fastening the diaper snugly around my hips. “Things can be quite pleasurable here if you let them.”
He tucked the blanket around me, brushing a stray strand of hair from my face before stepping away. Before he even reached the door, exhaustion pulled me under, and for the first time since arriving, I slept soundly.
When I awoke, the bright morning light filled the room. My headache was gone, the nausea had vanished, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I felt truly rested. I’d survived the worst of it.
As if summoned by my thoughts, Dr. Hensley appeared in the doorway. He’d changed into a fresh set of clothes—brown corduroy pants and a pale pink shirt beneath his white lab coat. The stethoscope around his neck gleamed in the sunlight.
“I’m glad to see you in a better light,” he said as he approached. “Shall we remove these?” He gestured to the restraints on my wrists.
I nodded eagerly, relief flooding through me as he unfastened the heavy leather straps. I rubbed my wrists instinctively, savoring the newfound freedom.
“I received your lab results this morning,” he said, jotting notes onto my chart. “As I suspected, you’re deficient in several critical vitamins, and your iron levels are dangerously low. This has caused a significant anemic episode.”
My stomach churned with anxiety, but he placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Don’t let that scare you. It’s all manageable with supplements and proper nutrition.”
“Can’t you just send me home with a list of foods to eat?” I asked, though the desperation to leave had diminished.
He arched a brow. “I could. But I won’t. You’re here to heal, Emery. Let me help you.”
Moments later, Mary arrived with a purple smoothie that looked far from appetizing. I barely listened as she listed the ingredients—something about flaxseed and spinach.
“Are you listening, Emery?” Dr. Hensley’s voice snapped me out of my daze, his disapproving tone making me sit up a little straighter.
“Uh, yeah,” I murmured, sipping cautiously at the smoothie. To my surprise, it wasn’t terrible.
Maybe—just maybe—I was finally beginning to trust the process.
“Lying isn’t a good look on you,” Dr. Hensley scolded gently, his sharp gaze cutting through the room. “Let’s try that again, shall we? Nurse Mary was explaining that this smoothie is packed with nutritionally rich ingredients designed to realign your digestive system.”
“Oh, um, thank you,” I mumbled, taking the smoothie and cradling it in my hands like it might disappear.
“What’s wrong?” His tone softened, and I glanced up to see genuine concern etched into his expression. Mary mirrored his worry, her brow furrowed as she watched me hesitate.
“I’m truly grateful you took the time to make this, Mary,” I began, forcing a small smile. “But I really don’t have an appetite right now. I’m sure it’s nothing, but maybe we could save this for later?”
Mary instinctively reached to take the smoothie from my outstretched hands, but Dr. Hensley stopped her with a slight motion of his hand. His authoritative tone filled the room.
“You need to eat.”
I shook my head, about to argue, but he cut me off firmly.
“Your body has been through the wringer, Emery, and right now it’s at a crucial stage in the detox process. You need nutrient-packed foods to jumpstart your metabolism and help restore balance. Trust me,” he said, nodding toward the smoothie still clutched in my hands, “take a sip. See how it tastes.”
Hesitant, I finally pressed my lips to the straw and took a small sip. My eyes widened in surprise as the flavors hit my tongue.
“Oh wow,” I exclaimed, my initial reluctance melting away. “This is really good!” Without realizing it, I took another gulp, then another, savoring the unexpected harmony of flavors.
Dr. Hensley smiled from his position at the foot of my bed, a mix of satisfaction and approval lighting his face. “I’m glad you like it. We strive to find that balance between healthy and savory. You get to enjoy a delicious shake, and I get the reassurance that you’re consuming the protein, healthy fats, fiber, and vitamins your body needs.”
I paused mid-sip, narrowing my eyes at him. “Why do I get the feeling there’s more to this?”
He chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he started toward the door. “Because there is,” he said, casting a playful wink over his shoulder. “Now, bottoms up. I’ll check back after lunch.”
As the door clicked shut behind him, I stared at the smoothie, feeling the warmth of its effect spread through my body. Maybe, just maybe, he knew what he was doing after all.
Chapter NINE
The afternoon dragged on, a monotonous blend of discomfort and boredom. To my dismay, Nurse Mary was an unwavering enforcer of the rules, refusing to let me leave the bed. My one failed attempt to freshen up in the bathroom had resulted in a gentle—but somehow deeply embarrassing—scolding. It left me feeling strangely small, as though I’d been reprimanded like a child.
Resigned to my confinement, I spent the next two and a half hours flipping through the pages of a mediocre dystopian romance from the eighties. Its outdated tropes and lifeless characters only fueled my irritation. I briefly considered begging Nurse Mary to fetch something more palatable from the downstairs library, but she seemed too preoccupied, darting between rooms with an air of urgency.
The smoothie I’d polished off that morning had done little to satisfy me. Now, my stomach growled in protest, clearly unimpressed with my lack of processed junk food. The slight return of my headache didn’t help. It hovered just under the surface—mild but persistent—reminding me that the detox wasn’t entirely behind me. Maybe I’d been too quick to believe I was through the worst of it.
Nurse Mary mostly left me alone, checking in only when some alarm system—a newly activated safeguard, thanks to my earlier bathroom escapade—blared its shrill warning. That blasted alarm further restricted my already limited freedom, making me feel like a prisoner in my own body.
When lunch arrived, a pristine chicken and mandarin orange salad was placed on the tray beside me. It looked like a culinary masterpiece, but the idea of eating felt like a chore. I poked at the leafy greens half-heartedly before giving up entirely, the unease in my stomach stubbornly refusing to abate.
I had just closed my eyes, hoping to escape into some semblance of rest, when the door creaked open. Dr. Hensley entered, his presence both soothing and mildly intimidating. A fleeting thought of pretending to be asleep crossed my mind, but the gentle shake of my shoulder rendered the idea pointless.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, his tone soft and calm.
“Physically or emotionally?” I countered, opening my eyes to meet his concerned gaze. “Because depending on the category, the answer varies drastically.”
His expression softened as he pulled up a chair beside the bed. “Let’s start with emotionally. Our mental state often influences our physical well-being.”
I sighed, debating how much to share. “I feel like an emotional wreck. I can’t stop thinking about my job—if I even still have one. I’m second-guessing my decision to come here. Honestly, I keep convincing myself I could’ve done this on my own.”
He listened intently, his steady presence grounding me as I spoke. Though his silence felt unnerving, his focused attention reassured me that he was taking my words seriously.
“I can understand why you feel that way,” he said at last, his tone thoughtful. “But let me ask you this: do you think you had a caffeine addiction before walking through these doors?”
“Addiction is such a harsh word,” I replied defensively. “You make it sound like I was doing drugs or something.”
He tilted his head slightly, his lips curving in a faint smile. “In a way, caffeine is a drug, but I’m not equating you to a heroin or cocaine addict. I’m simply pointing out that you were consuming caffeine at a level far beyond what’s considered healthy. Let me put it this way: the average recommended intake for someone your size is about 350 milligrams a day—less than four cups of regular coffee. No extra shots of espresso.”
The knowing glance he gave me was almost playful, but it carried an edge of seriousness that made me squirm. He knew about my habit of adding extra shots.
“When you put it like that,” I admitted reluctantly, “fine. Maybe I was over the limit. But lots of people drink way more caffeine than I did.”
“Yes, but those people aren’t you,” he said pointedly. “When you came in, your anxiety and stress levels were through the roof. Caffeine wasn’t the root cause, but it wasn’t helping either. Now that it’s out of your system, we can start addressing the underlying issues. That is, if you’re willing to let me help.”
I rolled my eyes, frustrated by the truth in his words. “The root cause is that my boss is a jackass who makes my life a living hell.”
His eyebrow arched in silent warning. “Watch the language. Whether that is true or not, is it worth your emotional investment?”
I sighed, retreating into silence. He was right—again. My boss might be terrible, but my reactions were my own. I just didn’t want to admit it.
“Let’s switch gears,” he said, his tone gentle but firm. “How are you feeling physically?”
“Lightheaded but restless. I just want to get out of this bed,” I admitted, my voice slipping into a desperate plea. “Please…”
He glanced at the untouched lunch tray behind me, frowning slightly. “How’s your appetite?”
“Nonexistent,” I muttered. “I’m still full from that smoothie. I can’t imagine eating anything else.”
“Hmm.” He stood abruptly, disappearing through the door and returning a few minutes later with a heavy blanket folded in his arms. He adjusted the bed, propping me up slightly, and then laid the blanket across my lap.
“It’s so heavy,” I murmured, startled by the weight.
“That’s the point,” he replied with a small smile. “It’s a weighted blanket. In some cases, they can help reduce anxiety. Think of it like a constant hug. It’ll also help ground you, which should ease the lightheadedness.”
Carefully, he tucked the blanket around me, cocooning me with meticulous care. As the weight settled over me, I felt an unexpected sense of calm.
“There,” he said softly, stepping back to observe his work. “Now, you’re like a caterpillar waiting to become a butterfly.”
Despite myself, I let out a small laugh. For the first time all day, I felt the faintest glimmer of hope.
“Wait, before you go,” I wiggled my arm free, lifting it to show him. “Can you take this out now?” They’d disconnected the saline line earlier, but the port remained, an unwelcome reminder of my tethered state.
Dr. Hensley paused, his gaze flickering to the port. “I can, but I haven’t administered your supplemental vitamins yet. If I remove it now, I’ll have to stick you a few more times later. Or you could wait until after I’ve given them. The choice is yours—a little discomfort now with the port or a little later with the pricks.”
I gave him an exaggerated grin. “I’ll take option three for two hundred.”
He chuckled, a deep, rich sound that filled the room momentarily. “Nice try, but avoidance is never the answer.”
“Sometimes it is,” I quipped, giggling despite myself. “Fine, take it out now. I’d rather get it over with.”
He nodded and moved to the counter, gathering what he needed. When he returned, he slipped on a pair of gloves with practiced ease and made quick work of removing the small port. His touch was precise, careful, as though he understood how much I craved even the smallest bit of control. Within seconds, he pressed a pink Band-Aid over the puncture site.
“All done.” He gave a satisfied nod. “Now, try to get a bit more rest. I’ll check in on you in a few hours. If anything feels off before then, let Mary know, and I’ll stop by sooner.”
“Thank you,” I murmured, watching him leave. Despite the literal weight of the blanket cocooning me, the world suddenly felt heavier.
As the silence settled, my thoughts returned to the argument with Callen, the harsh accusations, and the heated words I couldn’t take back. His dismissive attitude and complete lack of appreciation for all I did for him made my blood boil. I hated every second of working for him—his ignorance, his arrogance, all of it.
But my job was hanging by a thread now, under investigation by HR, and the weight of it pressed down on me relentlessly. Dr. Hensley had been right about one thing—I did feel like I was being hugged.
Was he right about my emotions too? That I alone was responsible for how I felt? Had I really let Callen get under my skin to the point where I’d sabotaged myself? Had I created my own stress and anxiety?
I shook my head, rejecting the thought. There was no way I’d been the sole contributor to my current predicament. Sure, maybe I’d added to my stress unnecessarily. I could admit that I was competitive, a perfectionist, even overly eager to please my bosses. Maybe those traits weren’t always healthy, but they were part of a strong work ethic, weren’t they?
The idea frustrated me, pulling me further into the mattress. I let out an exasperated huff, sinking deeper into the blanket’s embrace.
One thing was certain: I’d only been here two days, and I was already desperate to leave.
Chapter TEN
At dinner time, another tray arrived, carried by none other than Dr. Hensley himself.
“I’m beginning to think you’re trying to put your nurses out of work,” I teased, smirking up at him.
“Nonsense,” he replied smoothly, setting the tray down with precision. “I simply know when my presence will do more good than others.”
“Oh?” I raised a brow, puzzled. “Are you saying that somehow you delivering dinner is more persuasive than if Mary or Heidi had brought it?”
“No,” he said, his tone sharp but not unkind. “But I do believe my methods of persuasion will achieve the desired result. However, before we get to that, we have another matter to attend to.”
As he finished arranging the tray, Nurse Mary entered the room carrying a small metal tray lined with glass vials and an unsettling number of syringes. My stomach tightened at the sight.
“Wait,” I said, struggling to free myself from the weighted blanket, but Dr. Hensley sat down beside me, placing a steady hand on my shoulder. “Just relax. There’s no need to get worked up.”
I watched as Mary placed the tray on the counter and retrieved gloves for the doctor.
“We discussed this earlier, Emery. Your choices were clear,” Dr. Hensley reminded me.
“Yeah, but I didn’t think there’d be so many needles,” I admitted, finally managing to free an arm. As I made a half-hearted attempt to push the blanket aside, he was quick to catch my wrist. His warm grip drew my attention to him, and for a fleeting moment, I forgot about my attempted escape.
“Are you afraid of needles, Emery? Be honest with me.”
I hesitated, shaking my head slowly. “No, not really.”
His brow arched in question. “Not really isn’t an answer. Let’s try again: are you afraid of needles?”
His tone had softened, almost as if he were speaking to a child. I noticed, too, that he’d called me by my first name rather than the usual “Miss Watson.”
“It’s not the needle itself,” I confessed. “It’s the poke. I don’t like pain, and I’ll do just about anything to avoid it.”
He nodded thoughtfully, showing that he was listening. “Thank you for being honest. That’s helpful for what’s next.”
“But I thought—”
“You thought we might forego the injections?” he finished for me, shaking his head. “On the contrary, we’ll proceed as planned. However, I can adjust my approach to minimize the discomfort. You’ll feel a small prick, but I promise it will be quick and nearly painless.”
Turning to Mary, he said, “Would you mind bringing in the big girl chair? I think Emery could use a change of scenery.” Mary gave him a warm smile and left the room, leaving me to stew in my thoughts.
As Dr. Hensley prepared the syringes, I watched him intently. His movements were precise and methodical, each action deliberate. Every so often, he glanced up to catch me staring, his eyes meeting mine briefly before returning to his work.
“We’ll start with three injections: B-12, vitamin D, and a B-complex with C. If we don’t see improvement in your magnesium and iron levels soon, we’ll explore other options. But I suspect this will do the trick—assuming you stop refusing to eat.” His tone was both informative and lightly scolding, making it clear he wasn’t entirely joking.
Before I could respond, Mary returned, struggling slightly with the legs of the chair clanking against the hardwood floor. “Whoops,” she muttered. “Sometimes I forget how heavy this thing is.”
The “big girl chair” was far from a standard seat. Its high back, sturdy design, and tray that wrapped around the front instantly gave away its purpose. My mind reeled at the realization, but I pushed the thought aside.
“Emery,” Dr. Hensley called, pulling my attention back to him. “I need to get a quick set of vitals before we continue.” Mary began wrapping the blood pressure cuff around my arm while he retrieved the dreaded thermometer.
As Mary finished, Dr. Hensley urged me to roll onto my side, removing the weighted blanket and setting it aside. I felt his hand brush the hem of my gown, his touch warm against my skin. A chill ran down my spine, but not from the temperature.
Shamefully, my thoughts wandered to how his touch made me feel—how he left me in a haze of sensations during moments of complete surrender. Embarrassed, I tried to push those thoughts aside, especially as he adjusted the diaper I was wearing. This one was pink, decorated with flowers, and even thicker than the last. My cheeks burned with humiliation.
He set the diaper aside before applying lube and inserting the thermometer.
“Somehow, this isn’t any less embarrassing than the first time you did this,” I muttered.
He chuckled softly. “I’m not surprised you think that, but once you let go of the idea that there’s something shameful about it, you’ll realize there’s nothing embarrassing about a rectal temperature check.”
“There’s everything embarrassing about it,” I countered, my cheeks flushing deeper.
He pulled the thermometer out slightly before pressing it in a bit deeper, making me squeak in surprise.
“Why?” he asked, his voice calm and measured. “Because someone, somewhere, decided this is taboo?”
I struggled to find the words to refute his argument. “It’s just…”
“Relax, Emery. Trust that I have your best interests at heart. Let go of your inhibitions and the desire to control everything around you. The moment you do, you’ll find the strength to heal.”
I laughed bitterly. “So, basically, I just need to lose control?”
He chuckled again. “Now you’re starting to understand.”
His words sank in, and I couldn’t deny the truth in them. Control had already been taken from me in so many ways—my phone, my freedom, my dignity. The bathroom was off-limits, and diapers had become my reality. Yet I suspected he meant more than just physical control. He wanted me to relinquish the mental battle too.
The thermometer slipped out, and I felt my body relax momentarily, but he kept me in place with a firm hand on my hip.
“These supplements need to be administered into the gluteus medius muscle—your buttocks,” he explained.
I sighed, bracing myself for what was to come.
I watched over my shoulder as Dr. Hensley opened an alcohol wipe and began swabbing the top of my butt cheek.
“Can we pause for a moment?” I asked, panic creeping into my voice. I hadn’t realized he intended to start so quickly.
Dr. Hensley didn’t respond, focused on clearing the syringe of air. With one hand, he fanned my skin, then grabbed a firm chunk of my flesh, his grip oddly comforting as he bunched the muscle. The pleasant distraction softened the sting as he pierced my skin with the needle, and I barely felt it. I watched as the clear liquid disappeared into me, marveling at how painless it truly was.
When he pulled the needle out, I finally exhaled, realizing I’d been holding my breath. He disposed of the syringe and reached for another alcohol wipe.
The second injection was bright red, an unusual sight that piqued my curiosity but didn’t stir my trust. I could feel his watchful eyes on me as he prepared the shot, gauging my unease. Despite my nerves, he worked with the same practiced precision, his grip on my other cheek steadying me as he repeated the process. Again, the needle pricked briefly, and the liquid emptied smoothly into the muscle.
“Done,” he murmured, disposing of the second needle.
But as his hands began massaging the injection sites, I flinched, the soreness making me jump. “Ouch!” I yelped, trying to wriggle away.
“Calm down, jitterbug,” he teased, keeping me firmly in place. “I’m just soothing the muscle. If I don’t, you’ll wake up feeling like you’ve got two massive knots back there.”
Despite my protests, his rough kneading helped ease the tension. When he was satisfied, he instructed me to roll onto my back. With practiced ease, he slid a fresh diaper under me and secured it snugly around my waist.
This one was even thicker than the last, the padding between my legs so bulky I could barely bring my knees together. The awkwardness was immediately apparent, and my face flushed red-hot with humiliation as I felt his eyes studying me.
“Alright,” he said, extending his hand to help me up. I hesitated but took it, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. The moment I stood, the weight between my legs became all too real, forcing me into an awkward waddle as he steadied me.
Relief washed over me when we only had to walk a few steps to the large wooden chair Nurse Mary had brought in earlier.
“Is this really necessary?” I asked cautiously, eyeing the contraption with suspicion. “It seems a little overkill.”
“Does it?” he replied playfully, his tone light but firm. “Overkill or not, this is meant to help you shift into a different headspace—one where you learn to rely on others.”
Before I could argue, his hands were under my arms, effortlessly lifting me into the chair. My horror deepened as he pulled a wide strap up from between my legs, forcing them apart even further, and buckled it tightly around my waist. There was no wiggle room, and the discomfort of the injections combined with the firm chair made the situation even more unbearable.
The thick padding of the diaper provided some relief, but my sore cheeks still throbbed with each movement.
“Nurse Mary, the last syringe, if you would?” he asked, and moments later, she handed him the tray. He retrieved another alcohol wipe and prepared the final injection.
“Emery,” he began gently, “this one goes into your thigh. It’ll sting more than the others, but if it becomes uncomfortable, I want you to take a deep breath and exhale like we practiced. Can you do that for me, sweetie?”
His soothing words kept me grounded as I braced for the jab. True to his word, the sting was sharper, but it was over quickly.
“There we go,” he said, discarding the needle and gloves. “That wasn’t so bad, was it? Do you think maybe you worked yourself up more than necessary?”
I nodded, managing a small smile. “I guess. Or maybe you’re just better at this than the trainees back in my town.”
He chuckled softly. “Well, we were all students once upon a time,” he replied, his tone amused as he busied himself tidying up.
To my surprise, he pulled the dinner tray closer, setting down a glass of milk and a steaming plate of grilled chicken, fresh broccoli and squash, and a mix of brown rice and quinoa.
“That is a lot of food,” I said, staring at the plate in disbelief.
“You need to rebuild your strength,” he said simply, adding a cup of strawberry yogurt to the spread.
I shook my head, overwhelmed. “I can’t eat all that. Besides, I’m still not hungry.”
Without a word, he picked up the fork and knife, cutting the chicken and broccoli into small, bite-sized pieces. He speared a piece of chicken and held it up to my lips. When I reached for the fork, he pulled it back.
“There will be none of that,” he warned gently. “Let this be another lesson in learning to relinquish control. Tonight, I’ll feed you—and you’ll let me.”
At first, it was horrifying to be fed bite after bite of food by Dr. Hensley, but as the savory flavors hit my stomach, I realized how ravenous I actually was. My body had been hungrier than I thought, and soon, my stomach growled loudly for more. We laughed about it, and the moment of shared levity eased my nerves, making the experience less humiliating.
To my surprise, I devoured the entire plate and even the cup of yogurt for dessert. I’d never been much of a yogurt fan—unless it was frozen, packed with sugar, and served in a waffle cone—but here, it was the only thing resembling sweetness, so I imagined it as ice cream instead.
After dinner, he helped me back into bed, tucking the weighted blanket snugly around me. As much as I hated to admit it, he might have been onto something because the lightheadedness I’d felt earlier was completely gone.
He stayed long enough for Nurse Heidi to arrive for her shift, briefing her with a calm but cryptic update. His words were vague, but I caught the way Heidi’s brows raised in alarm at something he said. Whatever it was, I knew it concerned me, and it would happen tomorrow.
____________________________________
That night, my sleep was less restless than before, but unease lingered. What could Dr. Hensley possibly have planned for me next?
I've been a busy bee working on several novels and I'm proud to share the following with anyone who is interested. These are all free with KU or there are some writings on my page from the books. I hope you enjoy them :)
Medical Fetish/ABDL Themed (3 Book Series) Losing Control: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DQR29GBF Finding Myself: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DQQNP5KW Healing Hearts: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DQRGXJDY
ABDL Regression Standalone Novels. These have some overlapping characters but can be read individually.
Little Everly: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DS1361QL Little Sophia: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DSP24GWX Little Mila: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DTB54SNX Little Abigail: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DV15GBXW Little Ellie: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DV4QRZCG
Book sixth and final book of the Statford Series, Little Kinsley will come out this week :) I'm taking suggestions on what I should write next, if you've got a something particular you want to see, please let me know! (Please don't DM me asking for sexual favors or some weird shit like that. Not cool.)
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dialovers-translations · 3 years ago
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Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Azusa Route ー Sub Scenario w/Carla
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–> In between the main route chapters, the player is taken to the area map of the Parade where you can freely roam around. There are four different places to visit, each with different mini games and sub scenarios to enjoy.
AREA: GLIMMER DARK STREET
CHARACTER: CARLA
ー The scene starts in Reine de Aji’s store
Yui: Azusa-kun, there’s a knife section over here.
Azusa: Ah, you’re right...Wow...
Yui: ( Fufu, he’s totally awestruck by them. His eyes are sparkling. )
Azusa: Ah...Hey, Eve. This knife for slicing cured ham looks incredibly sharp...
Yui: It sure does.
( Even someone like me who knows absolutely nothing about knives can tell just how sharp the blade is. I can imagine it could slice through anything. )
Carla: Hooh...You have a sharp eye.
Azusa: Ah, Carla-san...
Carla: A knife like this is a rather rare find around these parts. 
Yui: Really?
Carla: This framework can only be manufactured within the Demon World, and they are few in number.
You could call it a first-rate product.
Yui: There’s that big a difference amongst these?
Carla: I am sure you should be able to tell if you hold it in your hand...
*Rustle*
Yui: ( Hm...It’s a little difficult for me to tell... )
Azusa: You’re right...The way it fits in your hand, as well as the curve of the blade, it’s completely different from other knives...
Carla: A fine observation. 
Yui: ( Wow...It’s honestly surprising to see these two vibe like this. )
Azusa: By the way...You don’t own any other knives besides ones for slicing cured ham?
Carla: I do not. I would not know what else to use them for. You collect them as a hobby, correct? 
Azusa: Yes...I only own a few knives specifically for slicing cured ham, but I do have them amongst my collection.
Yui: Also, Azusa-kun actually hones all of his knives himself. 
Carla: You...You can do that? 
Azusa: At first I struggled quite a bit, but I learnt through practice...
Why don’t you...join me sometime...? 
Carla: I can simply get rid of the knife once it can no longer be used and purchase a new one, no? 
Azusa: But, if you hone it properly, it’ll be as good as new, you know...?
Carla: Even so, I get rid of anything I cannot use. I do not need such things in my life.
Azusa: Hmー... Then, I’ll hone the blade of those blunt knives. ...If you like the results, please try using them again...
Say, Carla-san? Do you happen to have one of them on you right now...?
Carla: Yes, if I recall correctly...This is the knife I use for slicing cured ham, but I was going to replace it soon.
Azusa: Please show me for a sec...
*Rustle rustle*
Azusa: Aah, what a wonderful knife. From the looks of it...It still seems plenty sharp...?
Carla: No. If you were to actually try using it, you would realize right away that its performance has decreased by quite a bit.
Azusa: I see...Then...
*Rustle rustle*
Yui: ( Azusa-kun, he’s clenching the knife in his hand...Don’t tell me he’s going to test it out on his own arm!? )
A-Azusa-kun! Don’t!
*Thud* 
Azusa: Eh? ...What’s wrong, Eve?
Yui: I mean...Um, Carla-san, please help me hold Azusa-kun back as well...!
Carla: And why should I...?
Yui: Please don’t say that, I’m begging you! If not, he’ll...
Carla: You are trying to imply he will cut himself?
Yui: Exactly! Soーー
Azusa: Eve...I’m not trying to cut my arm...?
Yui: ...Eh!? 
Azusa: I was only going to test the blade on this wooden plank. ...I promised that I would no longer harm myself, remember? 
Yui: Azusa-kun...Right. I’m sorry for getting the wrong idea...
Azusa: No...It’s okay. Thank you for being worried...
Carla: ...Hooh. And I nearly was forced to get myself involved in this farce of yours. 
*Rustle*
Yui: Ah...Carla-san, I’m sorry. 
Carla: ...I feel uncomfortable just having to look at your faces. I will get going now...
ー Carla leaves
Yui: ( Uu...As embarrassing as that may have been, hearing Azusa-kun say that made me really happy. )
ーー THE END ーー
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Text
Nemesis: Retribution (5)
Summary: 10 years after the Avengers had left you for dead during a mission gone wrong, you unexpectedly re-enter their lives. Wholly unrecognizable from the person they used to know and now with a new team behind you, they ask for your help to stop a chain of syndicates who were manufacturing and peddling the super soldier serum. You were determined to say no until the chance at the vengeance you had been chasing for years was added to the offer.
Fandoms: Avengers, Marvel, MCU, The Punisher, Daredevil
Pairings: Female Reader x (Frank Castle, Billy Russo, Matt Murdock, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Pietro Maximoff)
Warnings: EXPLICIT SMUT. SHAMELESS SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR (18+ ONLY. I WILL BLOCK YOU), human rights violations, polyamorous relationships, reverse harem, blatant disregard for canon timelines and events, angst, Punisher canon level of violence and gore, strong language, mentions of trauma, mentions of character death, fluff if you squint,
A/N: Okay okay. I’m finally happy with how this turned out. Goddamn that’s a lot of words. I’ll see you all in the party in the comments and reblogs! I love reading what you think. Don’t be shy. Jump in!
No permission is granted to repost, steal, or translate my work. Not even a credit makes it okay. Tumblr is the only place I post my writing. If you see it anywhere else please report it.
[gif not mine. credit to: this glorious gif post.]
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1:5 Lemons
2 missions.
A 50/50 chance of getting Salvacion.
Your heart was pounding in your chest and you were on the verge of getting lightheaded from the anticipation. A decade of chasing this bastard and this was the closest you had ever gotten to him. The man was not only deadly in skill, but always seemed to manage to give you the slip every single time. Forcing yourself to face the life you left was worth it if it meant finally avenging Lily.
The briefings the past week had been long, but they were important to make sure everyone was prepared to end this. You were minutes away now from shipping off to the mission and your whole body was buzzing.
This was it.
There were two locations that you had to hit at the same time. Two locations with large shipments that you had to stop from reaching its destination. The teams needed to be split.
"Let's go over this one more time," Steve started, fully suited up in black that was truly a far cry from his old blue and red ensemble. "I'll be leading a team into the shipment yards with Bucky and Nem at the front. Sam will be on air support. Billy will manage a team of snipers in the surrounding area."
This was the smaller of locations, but with the larger shipment. The location itself entailed a more strategic approach. You weren't happy that there was a chance that Salvacion would be at the other location, but having Frank on that team put you somewhat at ease. He understood more than anyone how important this was to you and he promised he would take Salvacion alive. He was yours to kill.
Frank always kept his promises.
"I'll be leading the other team into the industrial district," Frank continued, his signature vest strapped tight across his chest. "Pietro and Matt will cover the perimeter and I'll be charging in with Nat and Wanda."
Their location was more complicated. It was too close to the residential district and the warehouses there ran 24/7. There was a high risk of civilian casualty if they weren't careful which was why almost everyone who was powered was assigned to that group. They needed every capability they could pull to make sure no innocent blood was spilled.
"Good," Steve nodded. "We'll both have a group of agents with us too. They've been briefed and are prepping transport as we speak. We leave in 20 minutes."
Everyone nodded their understanding, grabbing their gear and heading down to the transport docks. There was a fleet of cars standing by that would be used, gassed up and ready to go. Your hands were drumming repeatedly on your vest, itching to just get on the road. Frank and Matt lingered with you before they joined the rest of their group.
The towering marine stepped up close to you and tightened the buckles of your bulletproof vest, wishing you would have accepted the offer of better gear from the Avengers but also knowing it was hypocritical of him when he declined as well.
It just wasn't your style.
It was his own damn fault for training you in his own combat style. He had no doubt of your capability, but still he worried about you. He always worried about you and he felt a sense of responsibility toward you after finding you tortured within an inch of your life.
"Stay close to Steve, sweetheart."
You snorted, but a glance back at Steve who was already looking at you with a raised eyebrow made you grumble and relent. "Fine."
"Good girl," Frank chuckled, before leaning in to press a firm kiss on your lips as he held you by the buckles of your vest. You smiled into the kiss, feeling the steady protection and reassurance that he always brings.
He stepped away for Matt to get his turn. This was a tradition that just developed naturally between the four of you. A kiss before danger. A promise to keep safe. A promise to come home.
Matt took your face in both hands and kissed the breath out of you as if he was trying to outdo Frank. It wasn't uncommon. He was always more aggressive with his affections, always as if he was scared you might suddenly slip away from his life and you were happy to reassure him every time that you weren't going anywhere. He chuckled when you bit his lip, beating him to it. He gave you one more peck before stepping aside.
Billy came closer to your side and slung his arm around your shoulders, chuckling as he nuzzled his nose against the side of your face. It was amusing him to no end at how easily you were folding for Steve. It was a nice change of pace from the three of them never being able to deny you anything.
Most especially Billy.
"We're definitely keeping Steve around. I think I like you compliant," he snickered, turning your head toward him with a finger under your chin. He planted a quick chaste peck on your lips. Your eyebrows quirked at the unusual behavior.
"What you're not gonna try to outdo me too?" Frank teased.
"Nem knows I do my best kissing elsewhere. Don't you, pretty girl?" Billy winked at you and you rolled your eyes. You smacked him in the chest but didn’t comment further. He wasn't wrong, but he was smug enough as it is.
You were about to turn toward the cars when you were knocked back slightly to the side by a sudden peck to your cheek. You couldn't stop the laugh when you caught Pietro's grin before he vanished again, a subtle warmth spreading in your chest. You were still smiling when you took your seat beside Steve who intertwined your hand with his and raised it to his lips, smiling that soft boyish smile against your skin that now made your stomach flip. He didn't let go of your hand throughout the ride, even as he caught Bucky's yearning gaze in the rearview mirror.
You were greeted by an ambush.
Somehow the syndicates knew that you would be coming, setting up a small army as your welcome party. A quick distress call through the comms from Frank confirmed that they were facing the same in their location.
But you couldn't focus on that.
You were too busy tearing through the goons that kept coming at you. Having two super soldiers and Sam in the thick of it with you was a blessing, but even with the other agents and Billy's sniper support you were severely overrun. You would just have to trust that the other team can handle their own.
You emptied the clips of your pistols as you trudged your way deeper into the fray, not bothering to duck or take cover from the onslaught of angry men. You tossed your empty guns to the side and drew out another, catching a few bullets in your vest.
No time to reload.
"I got you, Hedwig. Give 'em hell," Billy said in your ear.
The deadly smirk on your lips was the only warning the men in front of you got. You charged again as the adrenaline coursed through your body, bullets flying precisely into their skulls.
One. Two. Three. Four men down.
When your bullets ran out, you dropped the gun and pulled out two daggers. Your eyes narrowed as you took off into a sprint toward the closest target, weaving effortlessly through the oncoming fire.
A slice to the forearm to disarm.
A dagger up the chin.
Dead.
He dropped to the ground spluttering on his blood as you took the other dagger and sent it flying toward another's chest.
Dead.
Rough muscular arms caught you by surprise and gripped you from behind, caging you as you struggled. You saw the gun in his hand and reacted.
Break the wrist to disarm.
You smirked at the loud pop of his bones. You grabbed the gun before it dropped to the ground as you slipped a knife from your vest. The pain in his wrist caused him to loosen his hold on you, allowing you to turn to face him.
Blade to the gut.
Bullet to the face. Point blank.
Dead.
You didn't even flinch when his blood splattered across your face, joining the explosion of red already painting your figure. You could make out two more in your peripheral who dropped to the ground before they could advance on you, care of your guardian angel with a sniper rifle.
"Thank you, Blackbird," you said sweetly.
"Goddamn, doll," Bucky said, Steve stood beside him mirroring the same look of equal awe and fear.
This was the first time they had seen you in action. Hearsay and that little demo with Kim did nothing to prepare them for the sheer brutality you had when given the clear purpose to kill. You didn't hesitate. You didn't waste time. You didn't care that you were drenched in blood. You had a goal and you were going to meet it every time with ruthless violence.
This was who you were now.
"Are you hurt anywhere?" Steve came up to you looking worried after seeing you charging headlong at open gunfire.
He didn't like it. At least he had a shield. Skilled as you were, he didn't like that you were running every mission like you had a death wish. There was so much blood on you that it was difficult for him to tell if any of it was yours.
"None of the blood is mine," you dismissed, wiping your face with what was the only clean part of your sleeve. "Let's go. I hear more up ahead and Sam said that's where the shipment is."
Rounding the corner, you were faced with another cluster of goons with weapons aimed at your small group. They stood a good distance away in front of two shipping containers that were being readied for transport. Sam landed beside you along with a group of agents. Bucky pushed you behind him and Steve raised his shield to cover you both. Billy chirped in the comms that the snipers had repositioned and were ready. All of that barely registered with you, white noise against the rage that was brewing, because behind enemy lines was the goal you've been chasing for a decade.
Salvacion.
"I have to say," he drawled. His voice, the first you're hearing of now, sending a chill down your spine. "I expected more from the Avengers. You didn't even bring Iron Man. I'm disappointed."
"Give up the serum," Steve growled.
"No. I don't think I will," he answered. "Kill them all."
All hell broke loose once more; fists, bullets, knives, and a shield flying in every direction. Bucky and Steve kept close to you, shielding you from most of the shots as you advanced. You gunned down every bastard you saw but your eyes never strayed from Salvacion who was just standing there watching the clash.
Taunting you.
Something nagged at the back of your head as you fought. It was unusual for the syndicates to be deploying this many people to a single location even if it was for the serum. While you were thanking every god you knew for luckily drawing Salvacion on this mission, his presence was also peculiar. Something else was going on.
Something else was here.
The syndicates were pushing back on your team hard, but you were making a dent in their numbers. When you saw Salvacion start walking away, that was when you felt the panic stir in your mind.
"I can't let him get away, Steve!"
You ignored his and Bucky's calls for you as you made a mad dash straight through the fight, efficiently shooting and stabbing anyone who dared get in your path. You were consumed with the purpose of reaching him, of finally being able to end it all.
You left the larger fight behind you in favor of this more personal one, the noise receding as you chased him farther. You caught a glimpse of him making his way up stacked containers and you sped up your run. You didn't even think twice about climbing the height. Nevermind potential broken bones. Nevermind getting cornered. Nevermind that you had no backup.
Salvacion would die today.
When you reached the top, you were surprised to see him standing there waiting for you but also that he wasn't alone. You raised your gun to match the one he was aiming at you, but he merely tutted and smirked. His other hand also had a gun, this one aimed up the chin of the person he was holding captive in front of him.
Kim.
The amount of irritation this woman was bringing into your life was starting to get on your nerves. She was delegated on your team for this mission and you stifled the aggravated groan as you noticed that she was bleeding heavily from both shoulders causing her to not be able to fight back.
Top agent my ass.
"Hello, Nemesis," Salvacion grinned at you. "Or should I call you Y/N? Much more personal given our history, don't you think?"
Your name on his lips caused a wave of nausea and a sneer to grace your lips. You raised your gun higher, narrowing your eyes as his own pressed harder against Kim's skin. It wasn't an idle threat.
"Nice of you to show up for once. Was beginning to think you were avoiding me."
"Come now. Don't you enjoy our little game of cat and mouse?"
A game.
This was all a game to him and the malevolent smile on his face confirmed that. The fury in you burned, almost making you physically shake. Killing Lily was nothing to him while it had completely consumed your life. It had become your driving force while to him you were merely entertainment.
"You're going to let me go," he declared, fully confident.
"Is that so?"
"Yes," he dragged out. "Or else your teammate here will die."
"What makes you think I give a shit?" you scoffed. "Go ahead."
The way Kim's eyes widened in terror brought a sick sense of pleasure in you that you shouldn't be proud of. Salvacion let out a low laugh, amusement clear in his tone.
"Oh, dear child. No matter how much spite you wrap yourself with, you are the same naive hero wannabe you always were," he snickered. "Self-sacrificing. Even at the expense of your sister."
"You don't talk about Lily, you bastard!" you screamed, your grip shaking slightly on your weapon.
All of a sudden it was hard to breathe and your heartbeat was hammering in your ears. You didn't expect that finally facing him, hearing him talk about Lily like she was inconsequential, would shake you to your core. This was what you have been waiting for. This was what you have been building up to for the past decade. This was your purpose for living.
What were you waiting for?
"I am feeling generous today. Consider it my gift to commemorate our first official meeting," he said.
"What the fuck are you on?" you growled.
"Open the containers," he smiled. "See you soon, Y/N."
He abruptly tossed Kim to the side, pushing her off the ledge of the containers you were on and bolted away with a mad cackle. You shot at his retreating figure, desperately trying to aim through the turbulent emotions he inspired in you. You were going to chase after him when a yelp of pain caught your attention.
Kim was hanging by one hand off the edge, obviously struggling to hold herself up with her busted shoulders. You were too high up for her to survive the fall and she was too injured to help herself. Her grip was slipping.
"Y/N! Help me please!"
A dark shadow passed through your features. Saving her would mean Salvacion would definitely escape. Again. You didn't know if you would ever get another chance at him or when that would be.
You didn't like this woman. You never did. She tormented your youth, took joy in it even and as you reunited nothing changed. She was the same egotistic bully she always was. This was a dangerous mission. People die in the line of fire.
It happens. No one would blame you.
"Please!"
"Fuck!"
You dropped your weapon and clasped both hands on hers to pull her up. You strained with the effort, Kim being a deadweight adding to the struggle. You let go when half her body was safely on top, her legs swinging up to roll herself flat onto the surface. She was crying and whimpering from the fear and pain. You couldn't help the anger that bubbled to the surface.
You slapped her face.
"Get your goddamn shit together," you roared at her. "I don't have time for this. Call for evac, princess."
You ran toward the sound of helicopter blades, jumping onto crates and jolting your bones at the impact. You didn't care. The renewed rage had steadied you, calmed you almost to the point that the only thing you could see in your mind was taking him out. You had faltered and you would beat yourself up about that later, but you couldn't let him slip away again.
The helicopter was already starting to take off, Salvacion clearly visible through the open door. You cocked your gun and fired away. Empty. You slipped another gun out and fired. Empty. You kept running toward him, drawing and firing every last bullet you had as you screamed your frustration with every shot that missed.
You noticed that you managed to get a few through him by the way his body jerked. You were feeling optimistic until he reached around and pulled out a rocket launcher. You saw the sinister grin before he fired.
"Nem!" You heard your name being called, but you were too stunned by the horrible realization that you had failed today. You watched the helicopter slowly make it's way farther and farther behind the rocket that was hurtling toward you.
Even if you ran, the area of impact would still tear right through you. You were frozen in place, unable to process that this was how it would end. That it would end in you dying by his hand as well. That it would end without you making it up to Lily.
Your internal struggle was interrupted by a large body completely engulfing yours. The impact of the rocket threw you both to the ground and the loud explosion accompanied by ripping metal deafened your ears.
You struggled with your vision, the ringing in your head was painful and your body sore from crashing down. Oddly, your skull itself didn't feel injured. All of the pain seemed to be concentrated on your torso. You blinked a few times to focus the blur of your eyes as the repeated chanting of your name became louder.
"Are you okay, doll? Answer me, Nem! Come on."
"Bucky?"
Your sight finally focused to find that it was the brunette super soldier on top of you, covering you from what would have certainly been your death. The dread on his face gave way to a tired relief at you finally responding.
He pressed his forehead to yours and closed his eyes, taking deep steadying breaths. You noticed now that he was wincing and that his flesh arm was underneath you, supporting your back and cradling your head. His metal arm was detached, a mangled mess of forcibly severed wires and metal plates sticking out from his shoulder. Your eyes widened in realization.
"Bucky, your arm," you started to struggle underneath him, knowing he must be in a world of pain.
He shushed you by rubbing the tip of his nose against yours. Your eyes met icy blue ones and you saw him smile weakly, as if telling you it was worth it. He wouldn't hesitate to catch a missile with his arm again if it meant protecting you.
The rest of the boys reached you shortly after, Sam took Bucky and informed you that evac and medics were here. You were still in shock from what just happened. Billy took you gingerly in his arms, endlessly fussing at you and apologizing for not being able to do more even if you understood it was impossible for him to have tracked you through the chaos. Steve stood to the side, obviously furious at himself for not going to you even if you understood it was only right that he led the main fight.
Your body felt like it had gone through a war and you were too emotionally distressed to address anything else. You felt defeated. You felt at a loss. You failed Lily again today. Suddenly, you remembered what he told you.
His gift.
"Steve, Salvacion told me to open the shipments. He said it was a gift from him."
You didn't wait for them to respond, dragging your battered body limping across the yard to the crates. Billy recovered first, quickly jogging up to support your battered body straight with his. Steve followed closely behind, the uneasiness clouding the three of you. The locks were easily broken by Steve's shield and soon your gift was revealed.
What you saw drained the blood from all of you and caused your skin to immediately chill. It was the most sickening thing any of you have ever seen in your lives and that was saying something. How anyone could do this was beyond comprehension.
People. Dozens of people.
Crammed inside the steel box were dozens of people in various states of distress. All of them had barely any life left in them, barely sustained by the various IV bags hooked on their bodies. They hardly reacted when the doors were opened, too spent by what they had been made to go through to even blink. You suspected that a good portion of those who were not moving at all were dead. The smell was horrendous and this was coming from people who were about to be shipped to god knows where.
The horror you felt heightened to epic levels when you noticed that some of the drip bags held a different colored fluid, the distinct color of the super soldier serum. Then it clicked and the nausea finally overcame you. You poured your guts out onto the pavement, your stomach heaving violently as the truth made your vision spin.
Human testing.
Human experimentation.
And you had let the bastard escape.
Steve was going to approach you, clueless as he was on how to help you at that moment, but you had scrambled out of reach and ran out of the shipment yard. He called after you readying himself to go to you, but Billy's grip on his forearm stilled him.
"We're not who she needs right now, Cap," Billy shook his head. "Right now these people need us more."
"Where's she going?" Steve asked, swallowing hard on the lump in his throat and reluctantly agreeing.
"She'll be fine. Matt will find her."
Matt found you hours later. He had returned badly beaten and bruised from their own mission, but upon receiving word from Billy he pushed aside every painful injury he felt and rushed to where he knew he would find you. His chest tightened when he was told what you had seen. It was bad enough that you were carrying the guilt of your sister's death, but now you had the weight of all the lives that were victimized by these sick people too. It was too much for one person to bear.
He found you in the confession booth of the church on the corner of a quiet street and he couldn't see the broken look on your face when he opened the door, but he could feel it. He heard it in your unusually slow heartbeat, as if your organs were trying to give up. He heard it in the shallow breaths you took, as if the act of living was a betrayal in itself. He heard it in the cry that was begging to break through you throat. He could almost taste your despair.
He slowly knelt in front of you and pulled you urgently into his arms, squeezing himself into the tight space. He held you against him, clutching you tight and rocking you gently back and forth. This was an open secret shared between the two of you. When the darkness was overwhelming, you turned to each other and confessed. He pulled away after a long moment, cradling your face firmly in his palms. His thumbs brushed against your dry cheeks. Of course you hadn't been crying.
There were no more left to shed.
"Talk to me," he muttered, pressing his lips softly against yours.
"He experimented on a lot of people," you muttered. "And I let him go, Matty. I've been letting him carry on for ten years."
Your tone was almost a hoarse whisper, devoid of much emotion apart from a cold defeat. This worried him, but at least you were talking. You had known when you were being tortured that they Hydra hadn't perfected the serum. They kept torturing you in the hopes that they could get you to reveal anything about the formula, Steve and Bucky's abilities, or where samples of their blood were stored. You didn't talk.
Maybe you should have talked.
When the syndicates got their hands on the incomplete formula, they were faced with the same problem. A problem they apparently decided to solve by trial and error on actual people. You knew this. At the back of your mind you knew this, but it didn't register until you saw it for yourself tonight. Somehow you had ignored that fact because you had only been focused on your own grief.
"I let him go. I did this, Matty," you breathed, the guilt clear in your voice.
"No! You did not let him go. The bastard got away," he insisted. "And this is not your fault. I won’t let you think that this is your fault."
"No," you argued weakly. "I let him go. I had a shot at stopping him tonight and I didn't take it."
"Steve told me. You stopped to save Kim." The movement of his thumbs on your cheeks changed to soothing circles. "You stopped to save a teammate. That was a good thing."
You scoffed. "I wanted her to die."
"What?"
"For a solid moment as she was hanging on for her life, I wanted to let her die."
"She's alive now because of you, Nem. You fought it. You're strong. You didn't give into it."
"But what if that's what I need to do? If I did I could have ended Salvacion tonight."
You could have ended it all tonight.
Salvacion's words tonight plagued you. if you didn't try to play the hero then this whole twisted operation could have been stopped. If you didn't try to play the hero then you would have gotten your revenge for Lily. If you didn't play the hero then Lily wouldn't even be dead. You had wanted to save people so much, make a difference in the world, that you didn't stop and think about how that would impact the people you held most dear.
"You don't honestly believe that, do you?" Matt asked cautiously, he knew more than anyone the struggle you faced. All of you were just a bad day away from completely snapping.
"I don't know," you admitted in defeat. You sounded so tired and confused that it broke his heart.
He held you for a moment more, waiting for your heart and breathing to return to normal. He didn't know what else to do or what else to tell you. He didn't know how to help you this time. Just then, he sensed the arrival of a Maximoff twin.
"Pietro's outside. I'll ask him to take you away for a while," he shook his head when he felt you were about to protest. "You need a break and you need some peace."
He led you outside, his pace slower than normal as your shoulders slumped lower to the ground in resignation. He exchanged a few words with Pietro before he pressed a kiss to your temple and pushed you toward the other man.
"Come with me, little star. I'll take care of you."
The next thing you knew, Pietro had lifted you into his arms and asked you to close your eyes. You buried your face into his neck as you felt the world around you dissolve in a blur, your hair whipped around but you weren't scared. The steady grip he had on you assured you that you would be safe. When he told you to open your eyes, you had no idea where you were or how long you had been traveling.
"Where are we?"
He gently set you on your feet as you looked around the area. It was beautiful. A dense lush forest that opened up to a lake with a small cabin. Isolated. Quiet.
Peaceful.
Immediately you felt your body relax in the new environment. It was so far removed from anything and everything that it allowed you to let go of the tight hold you had on your life. It allowed you to let go of the rage for a moment.
"Sokovia," he answered. "This is mine. When Wanda and I were little, even before the enhancements, our connection was strong and can be overwhelming. I needed a place that was only my own."
"Wanda doesn't know about this?"
"No, it is the only secret I have ever kept from her. I've never brought anyone else here."
Turning to him, you could see the shy smile on his face. There was a reluctance there, as if he was nervous that his little hideaway would not be good enough for you. You were quick to shoot that thought down.
"It's beautiful, Pietro. Thank you for sharing this with me."
His smile brightened as he approached you and held both your hands in his. "We can stay for as long as you want to. I can go into town and get us more supplies. We can swim in the lake if you like and I can cook you paprikash. You'll love it."
He was so excited. So happy to be able to spend time with you. Elated to be able to share this sentimental place with someone else, but he saw the sadness in your eyes and it made him force himself to slow down. The smile on his face dimmed.
"Do you want to go somewhere else? I can take you anywhere you like."
The heartbreak and disappointment in his voice alerted you. You hurriedly wound your arms around his shoulders and forced his eyes to meet yours. You recognized the way he looked at you, but it was only now that you really noticed that he has always looked at you that way. He was so pure. So honest. So good.
He was too good for you.
"No, Pietro. This is perfect. You're perfect." You tried to smile up at him. "I don't deserve you."
Just like that he understood you. He drew you closer by the waist and pressed a soft kiss at the corner of your mouth. When he drew back, his smile lit up his face again.
"Why do you need to deserve me, little star?" he chuckled at the puzzled look on your face, finding it adorable. "Can I not just choose to love you?"
You frowned and he just laughed more. He shushed your protests by pulling you flush against his body, lowering his head to hover his lips mere inches from yours. He left this small distance as your choice to make just as he has made his.
"Let me choose to love you."
You could feel his breath on your face at this distance, see the sparkle of anticipation in his eyes, and his tongue darting out to wet his lips.
You made your choice.
Kissing Pietro has to be the most comforting experience that you had ever felt. He tasted like hot chocolate on a rainy day and you felt your body melt when he returned the gesture. You were sighing against his lips when the now familiar feeling of him dashing turned it into a surprised squeal. You blinked and you were lying down on a soft mattress with Pietro grinning down at you.
You laughed as you shared more kisses, hands giddily exploring each other and tearing away pieces of clothing until nothing lay between you. For the first time in a long time, you felt insecure about your scars. For the first time, you were reluctant for someone to see them. Again, just like that he understood you.
"You're beautiful, little star. You have always been beautiful to me."
He kissed you again, deeply and full of emotion that you melted into the bed. His lips traveled down your neck, your chest, your stomach. He stopped to nip and suck at the inside of your thighs causing you to involuntarily moan his name. Lower he went until his mouth was working gentle swirls on your sensitive bud. Your hips grinded against his tongue, desperately seeking more.
He pressed his mouth fully on you then, adding a finger much to your delight. He ate you like he worshipped you. Like he was blessed with the opportunity to bring you pleasure. Your body sang his praises, reacting with equal enthusiasm by soon reaching your orgasm. You shook beneath him as he allowed you to ride out your high, soothing you with gentle hands rubbing circles on your hips. He was smirking at you when he crawled up, satisfied that he had made you cum but clearly aiming for more.
He kissed you again as he lined himself up against your core, sliding it against your slit to coat it with your slick. He wasn't even inside you yet and you already felt like you were ready to cum. He held your gaze, silently asking for permission that this was still what you wanted. Instead of answering, you moved your hips to slip his length inside causing him to drag out a hiss and capture your mouth again. The groan you both let out when he bottomed out vibrated through your fused lips.
"You feel incredible," he whispered. "You feel so good wrapped around me. Just like I always thought you would."
"Pietro, please."
His strokes were slow and deep, hitting that special spot inside you that had you panting with want. The smooth roll of his hips was quickly driving you higher and higher toward another orgasm. It was so gentle. So sensual. So personal.
"Tell me what you want, little star."
Everything about Pietro's life had been one big event after another. Rushed decisions. Angry fighting. Missions. Even his very enhancement relied on speed.
He didn't want that with you.
With you he wanted to slow everything down. He wanted to savor every moment. He wanted to stop time if he could, keep you in his arms for as long as possible. Freeze you in this exact moment when all you felt was pleasure.
"More," you pleaded.
Maybe he could speed up just a little bit.
His strokes gradually hastened and he glowed with satisfaction at seeing you delirious with desire because of him. He palmed at your breasts, nipped at your neck, and bucked his hips just a bit harder.
"More."
He smiled. How could he deny you? He lifted you up until you were seated on him, holding you firmly with an arm up your back with his hand fisting in your hair. The other hand he slipped between the two of you to rub against your clit. You saw the wicked glint in his eyes before he dipped his head to lave at your breasts.
You felt like you were going to explode from the different sensations. That was until he decided to move your body to bounce on his cock, his own hips thrusting up to meet you and his hand on your back guiding you to wind your hips as you came down. Your clit hit his pelvis each time and another wave was added onto your building climax. You whined, moaned, and pleaded his name. Begging him to grant you release.
“Let go for me. I have you. Let go.“
He growled against your breast and pounded up into you until you screamed and shook above him, clenching him so hard you pulled his own orgasm out of him. He spilled into you, crushing you against him as you continued to flutter around him.
You fought to catch your breath and when you caught each other's eyes, still hazy from lust, you laughed. You felt free. You felt renewed. You kissed him then.
"I love you too, Pietro."
He looked at you with unrestrained adoration. He had been chasing after you for so long that he could hardly believe that he had finally caught you. That he was finally yours.
"What? You didn't see that coming?" you teased.
He chuckled and pulled you in for another lingering kiss. You felt so good in his arms that he has completely forgotten how it felt to not have you in them.
"I meant what I said earlier," he murmured against the skin of your shoulder. "If you want to we can runaway. I can take you away from all of this. We can stay here or we can go anywhere else."
He smiled warmly at you and pecked your lips when he saw the internal conflict flash through your features. Again, without a word he understood you.
"But I know that is not what you want," he reassured you. "I just wanted you to know that you have that choice if you should want it."
Tempting as his offer was, you knew you couldn't let go of Lily's memory. You would never truly be at peace until Salvacion was rotting six feet under and his whole operation was blown to bits. You couldn't leave your mission unfinished. And you couldn't bear to leave four other men behind. Looking back at the events of the past night, it felt more accurate to say five. Still, there was a sense of security from knowing you had that option.
"Let's go home."
------------------------------------------------
A/N: Okay let’s take a vote. Should we forgive Bucky now?
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fatewinximagines · 4 years ago
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Omg yes pls! I’d love to read Riven x reader ✨
Not so bad || Riven x reader
So I had a couple requests for a Riven x reader fic so here it is. Requests are still open so don’t be afraid to ask! 😊
A/N: I am completely against the whitewashing, racism, biphobia and fatphobia in the show so I’ll try to rewrite those parts as best as I can. Also English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry if there are some mistakes. 🧚🏻‍♀️
Summary : reader and Riven used to be friends before he became Alfea’s local asshole. Now the neither Riven nor the reader can stand each othe but what will happen when they’re forced to work together? (Reader is a mind fairy but with a twist kinda)
I listened to this song while making this in case you want to check it out while reading 😊
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Since the bounded ones had returned everything started to go downhill. The appearances of burned ones near the school were becoming more common, apparently a first year had murdered Farah’s assistant and now everyone had to have intensive training. Fairies were paired up with specialists to train and work together and out of everyone in that dammed school you have had to be paired with Riven.
To say you were absolutely fuming the moment you saw who you had been paired with was an understatement. There were thousands of students in Alfea yet you had to be paired with the one person you hated the most. Riven and you didn’t get along and everyone knew that. Although the situation with Riven hadn’t always been like that.
The two of you used to be pretty close during your first year in Alfea. Actually you were almost attached to the hip, always hanging out together. He tried to help you to control your powers and practice while you tried to help him to train. You made the perfect team, you balanced each other out. That was until he just decided that you were not worthy of his time anymore. It hurt like hell that someone you cared about just left you behind without an explanation.
Currently you were trying to defeat a burned one in the forest, your group had thought that if you split you’d have a better chance at finding the creature. You were looking around trying to locate the burned one. Riven had his back against yours while the two of you walked slowly in circles watching your surroundings. Suddenly you saw something move in the corner of your eye. You turned around as fast as you could and tried to focus on that thing.
Unlike other mind faeries your powers weren’t limited to feeling other people’s emotions, you were also a telepath. You could get into people’s mind, read their thoughts, control them you could drive them crazy if you wanted to.
“Riven, turn around!” You screamed as you were trying to get the creature to stop.
Riven turned around as fast as he could and launched himself at the creature. While he started fighting the burned one with his sword you were trying to get into its mind, blurry images and screams filled your own mind.
“It’s be great if you started doing something!” He was struggling to dodge the burned one.
“I’m trying!” You tried harder to push your way into the burned one’s mind. Right when you were about to get control of the creature. Riven screamed.
“Fuck!” The burned one had pinned him down and he had lost his sword.
You pushed harder, the images stopped and the screams had finally become silent, you got it. The burned one was about to slice Riven’ throat when you got it to get off him. You made the creature stand up, Riven was breathing heavily and staring at the creature until you made it rip it’s own head off.
Riven got up and started to walk towards you, you couldn’t quite read the expression on his face.
“It was about time, it could’ve killed us.” He was right in front of you but somehow his voice seemed like it was far away. Your vision started to become blurry. He was talking to you but you couldn’t hear him. The last thing you heard before fading was Riven’s curses.
The images that you saw while trying to get into the burned one’s mind kept replying in your head, they seemed like memories, human memories. The screams sounded as if it was trying to get out of there, screaming for help. It was terrifying.
Suddenly you woke up. You looked around trying to figure out where were you. Your vision started to focus little by little and you recognised your surroundings, you were back at Alfea but this wasn’t your room. It was slightly darker than you room, the silky sheets that covered you were black. Your eyes darted around the room trying to find anything that looked familiar until your eyes landed on the nightstand.
“Oh you’re awake, finally.” The voice startled you. Riven was leaning against the bathroom’s doorframe looking at you. “We completed the mission, you killed that burned one.”
“You kept it... why do you still have it?” You said as you motioned towards his nightstand. You felt him tense up.
“We have a couple of days to rest before the next mission.” He kept talking without answering your question.
“Riven” Your attempt to stop him didn’t work as he kept talking.
“You were too slow, we have to train more or we won’t be this lucky the next time.” He kept going on. “You better prepare for tomorrow, we’ll start at-“
“Riven!” You interrupted him. “Why did you keep this?” You said as you grabbed the frame from his nightstand.
The frame contained a photo of the two of you. Riven had his arms aground you as you rested your legs over his lap, your head rested in the nape of his neck and you were laughing hysterically at something he said and he was smiling brightly at the camera. Sky had taken this photo, you loved it so much that you had printed it and given it to Riven as part of his birthday gift last year.
“I just forgot that I had it.” He got off the door frame and came towards you.
“You’re lying.” You said looking at him.
“Stay the hell out of my head.” He said harshly as he removed the frame from your hands. “I just forgot to throw the stupid thing away.”
“Sure” Your eyes had started to water “I don’t know why I was stupid enough to think that you had a reason to keep it, it’s not as if you ever cared right?” You said bitterly while trying to get up.
That’s when you felt it, hurt. You hated this, he had no right to be hurt after all this time, after disappearing without an explanation.
“At least I deserve an explanation.” You turned around and stood in the doorway “Give me an explanation and I won’t bother you ever again.”
“There’s no explanation, I just got bored of you and went on with my life.” He said without even looking at you.
“Riven I’m a mind fairy, your bullshit doesn’t work with me.” You said walking back into his room towards him. “You want to get rid of me, tell me the truth and I’ll go.”
“For fucks sake.” He threw his hands in the air. “You got too close, that’s the damn problem, you got too close and I cared. Everyone in this shitty college spoke about it, they always talked about how you were one of the most powerful faeries here and you were waisting your time hanging out with me. It was just a matter of time before you realized that it was true, that I was just a disappointment that couldn’t even last 5 minutes without being beaten. If I left before you had the chance I’d save myself the heartbreak.” He finally looked you in the eyes.
You felt it, every emotion that he had been bottlening up inside all this time. You could feel his anger, his hurt, his sadness. It was overwhelming.
“Did it work?” You said as you took a step closer to him. “Did it save you save yourself the heartbreak?”
“No.” His voice came out like a whisper, if you hadn’t been standing so close to him you would’ve missed it.
You sat on the bed beside him. He looked at you confused, he thought that you would’ve left by now that you would’ve agreed with everyone else and walked away not wanting to waste your time any longer. Instead you were here, sitting beside him and giving him the softest look.
“I wouldn’t have done that you know? I wouldn’t have left you because you’re not a disappointment Riven. You work hard to get better everyday, you are loyal to a fault, you’re smart even if you don’t give yourself enough credit. Even if you act like an asshole sometimes you’re not so bad.” You said pushing his shoulder lightly “Besides, since when do I care about what other people say?”
He just sat there, looking at you. He couldn’t find any words to describe how he felt although you already knew that. He had opened up to you, told you about his worst fear and you stayed. Both of you stayed like that for a couple minutes, just letting everything sink in.
He was about to speak again when he realized that it was now or never. He moved his hand to let it rest on your face, caressing it, and started to lean in closer to you. He stopped when your lips were just inches apart looking at you to see if you were okay with this and when he saw you give him a small nod he closed the gap between your lips.
The kiss was slow at first, he held you as if you could break at any moment. Both of you tried to put your feelings into that kiss and it started to become more passionate. His other hand went to your hips as you moved so you were straddling him and moved your hands to the back of his neck. Soon you broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against yours as both of you breathed heavily.
“I’m sorry, for everything I did and for what I made you go through.” He said caressing your face.
“You should’ve talked to me instead of just pushing me away.” You said with your eyes still closed.
“I know, it became too much and I didn’t know how to handle it. I promise that I won’t push you away and I’ll make it up to you.” He said looking at you. “Can we start over again?”
“That would be great.” You said before kissing him again.
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