#i probably would have ended up here somehow but
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One Shot/Outer Banks/Whumpee JJ Maybank/Caretaker John B
The sun was glistening on the snow outside, making the day bright despite the freezing winter cold. A few birds were picking at the mantle in search of food, here and there a few flowers pocked their heads up through the snow.
Inside, the Pogues were preparing the Chateau for Christmas. A playlist of upbeat indie rock was playing in the background. Kiara and Pope were dragging a long garland of Christmas lights across the living room, discussing where to attach it first. JJ and John B, in the meantime, were in the kitchen preparing drinks.
„You know, I‘ve always hated Christmas“, JJ said while rummaging in the kitchen counter for a couple of clean glasses. Christmas was a day for happy families. For everyone else, it was a testament of how fucked up their home lives were, really rubbing it in. Ever since he was little, JJ had always tried his best to have at least a colloquial Christmas with his dad. Trying not to upset him, trying to keep the mood in the house stable. It had always failed and left him disappointed, knowing that other families somehow made it work. Yet, JJ always fucked it up. JJ would always be a Maybank.
„I know, Jayj, but this year, it‘ll be different. Just us here, all together“, John B looked at JJ with determination in his voice, „it will be fun“
JJ scoffed. „My old man probably won‘t even notice I‘m not there, all passed out and stinking of booze“
John B thought for a moment, unsure of what to say. He was missing his dad, too. Big John had been gone for more than a few months already, and it was becoming more and more unlikely for him to suddenly show back up. John B‘s throat clogged up at the memory of his father.
„Shit, John B, I‘m sorry“, JJ started, realizing his mistake, „I didn‘t mean to-“
The glass simply slipped out of JJ‘s fingers. It shattered on the wooden floor.
As the crack of the glass reveberated in JJ‘s ears, time seemed to freeze. His heart was hammering in his chest, a feeling of nausea overwhelming him. He felt a sudden stabbing pain in his forehead. Reacting on pure instinct, he fell to the floor and started to gather the shards in his hands as quickly as he could. Almost instantly, he cut himself.
John B turned around just to see the scene play out in slow-motion. He found his voice in a rush, „No worries, JJ, I‘ll get the-...JJ?“
But JJ didn‘t hear. Instead, his ears were thrumming with the memory of his dad‘s deafening shouts as he stumbled towards him, ready to take a swing at his clumsy child, for breaking things, for being noisy, for being-
John B rushed over, dropping to his knees beside JJ. "Hey, you okay?" he said, gently pulling JJ's trembling hands away from the broken glass. Blood mixed with the shards of glass on the floor, but JJ barely noticed, too focused on the mental video playing in front of his inner eye.
He tried to swallow, clumsily picking at the shards and gathering them in his bleeding hand. „I‘m sorry, I didn‘t mean to-“ His head was ducked between his shoulders as if expecting a hit. It was as if his mind had left the Chateau and had instead ended up somewhere else entirely.
„Hey, JJ“, John B started, concern lacing his voice, „it‘s just me, we‘re in the Chateau, you‘re safe“
Tears began to sting in JJ‘s eyes, yet he wouldn‘t let them spill. He stilled. It took him a long moment to answer. „John B?“, his voice was hoarse.
John B’s eyes softened. "It’s okay, man. We’ll clean it up. You’re okay."
John B gently placed his hands over JJ’s, stopping him from reaching for the glass shards. He could feel JJ’s pulse racing beneath his fingertips, tremors shaking his hands.
"JJ," John B said quietly, his voice steady, "Listen to me. You’re not back there. You’re here, with us. In the Chateau. You’re safe."
It took a few moments for JJ to even register the words, his mind still tangled in the echoes of the past. When he looked up, his hazy gaze was met by green eyes.
John B held his gaze, offering him a small but genuine smile, before grabbing a towel and gathering the broken shards from JJ‘s hands carefully. “Let’s get you cleaned up. You deserve a Christmas without this crap. Just us, alright?”
JJ nodded, wiping his face with the back of his hand. He didn’t say anything at first, just allowed himself a moment to breathe, to feel the warmth of the Chateau. It was just him and his people here. He was safe.
John B helped him to his feet, leading him toward the sink. "Kiara and Pope are probably wondering why we’re not helping. You know Kiara—she’s going to want to do everything perfectly." He tried to lighten the mood, and it worked, just a little.
JJ let out a small laugh, the sound soft and bittersweet. “Yeah, I can just imagine her yelling at Pope for putting the garland on crooked.”
“Exactly,” John B chuckled, “Now let’s go make sure Kiara doesn’t string up the whole place with tinsel. We’re definitely going to need more eggnog for that.”
They walked back into the living room, where Pope and Kiara were in the middle of decorating. The festive chaos of Christmas was in full swing, and even though things weren’t perfect, in that moment, with his friends around him, JJ knew it was as good as Christmas could ever gonna get.
i will never ever get tired of this trope 🙏
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Fixing Vander and Silco's story (a bit)
Using canon events! Sadly we can't actually fix it, but I hope this makes it a little better. I make my own edit proposal at the end that changes the bar scene to include Felicia without issues.
They meet in the mines, and meet Felicia and her partner there too. They end up together somehow (I think we can put the brotherly allegations to rest now, eh?) and one of them (or both) inherit/buy a bar.
Although Vander is the barman, there is no indication Silco doesn't own or co-own the place. After all he comes to take it eventually as his own, and he's still not bartending. That's just not his gig.
It's implied that Vander and Silco made it, as in, got away from the mines, while Felicia clearly didn't, as she comes home to both her daughters with mining gear and gloves.
So despite Vander and Silco building the Lanes together, the mines aren't closed, and the work "isn't done".
Felicia says they've done it, and Vander is happy to celebrate their success. Meanwhile, Silco has his "NoZ" Nation of Zaun book in which he's scribbling, still planning.
Vander's first memory that Viktor sees even has Silco holding that book.
Later, in season 1 episode 3, we see that Vander tells Silco that he had Vander's respect, the Lanes' respect, but it "was never enough".
There's also this fakeout moment in the memory at the bar, where Vander says they're done, and Silco replies with "You're gravely mistaken". And I thought he was going to go all zealous and say "We'll only be done when we have the Nation of Zaun", but no, he claims he's Bozo 1.
And imo, he is probably right. He calls out Vander in act 1 saying "I trusted you and you betrayed me", and Vander does not contest this. It makes the most in character sense as well that Silco is the brains of the operation while Vander is the brawn.
And we can conclude that Silco's goals were always "bigger" and that the Lanes were indeed not enough.
Years pass, during which we can only assume Silco keeps building his Nation of Zaun and Vander happily bartends and manages the Lanes with Silco. Felicia keeps working the mines and raises Vi, then Powder.
Vi is at least 11, if not more, by the time she's on the bridge. This is just consistent with her model, but also to make her 18+ by the time of act 2.
It's a long ass time for Vander and Silco to be running a bar and the Lanes together. Even assuming Vi is more 8 or 9yo, Vander and Silco spend all that time being together.
Sadly, their models aren't aged very well.
We are also forced here to make some unfortunate assumptions.
It's not a problem, IMO, for Silco to know Felicia and be close to her. It's a problem for him to not be close to Vi and Powder too. Close enough to recognise them at least.
It's easy to say, "Well, Felicia went back to the mines and raised her kids and wasn't super involved with Vander and Silco, who lived much higher up in their bar." Adult friendships and all that.
IT MAKES SENSE, but then it makes zero sense that Vander would murder his life's partner, a man he's been with 10 years at MINIMUM (fuck knows how long they were together while in the mines), over the death of a friend in a revolt they allegedly BOTH participated in.
The memories also imply that Silco is responsible somehow, for throwing a molotov. And yet the molotov doesn't kill the enforcer.
But Vander is shown in the opening of Act 1 season 1 pummeling one to death himself, long after the rest of the revolt has died down. That enforcer wasn't getting back up lol
So whatever we pick, because the writers made Felicia and Silco close, they create a plot hole either way.
Either Vander is whacko and murders his husband over a dead friend at a revolt he set up (since he repeatedly apologises for what he did, and claims he "lost his head after she died" and had that guilt on his hands too)
Or Silco and Vi and Powder spend ALL of season 1 acting like they don't know each other at all. Then Silco takes in Powder and somehow never comments on the fact he was friends with her mom.
Everything being triggered by Felicia's death also means that Vander's emotional thematic moment dropping the gauntlets after seeing what his violence led to is then followed up by a horrible attempted murder on the love of his life, which is... you know. Bad writing.
So I propose that they indeed drift apart. Silco knows of Felicia's kids, and they hangout a bit, but they aren't that close. She's busy mining and being a mom, and Silco is busy making the safe Zaun he promised to deliver.
The creation of that Zaun leads them to act out revolts and uprisings. Vander is happy to follow. He's angry, like he tells Vi. And this manifests in violence. Silco points his violence. It's how they create the Lanes and the moniker of Hound of the Underground. A hound usually has a master, after all.
Vander is Silco's hound, and I think, in Vander's mind this absolves him of some of the consequences of his actions.
So when his friend dies on the Bridge, even if they haven't been that close in a while, well, it's easy to put the blame on Silco.
Since we're following the new canon timeline... we'll have to have him go back with the girls, ready to turn a new leaf.
I think the best way here is to have him either dropping them at an orphanage, or back at their home (trusting Vi to look after Powder for a while) or with friends.
That way, Vi and Powder aren't immediately in Silco's legs back at the drop.
Then Vander and Silco take part in the "clean up" at the bridge. They go get bodies, and since they have no real estate in the fissures, they commit them to the sea (we have canon monsters in there, so I'm sure it all gets gobbled up).
That way, we explain why Vander is weirdly shaved, and why Silco and him are at in the Pilt: they just commited the bodies of the fallen to the waters.
There may have been many others, but Silco and Vander stay there, in the shallows, as they talk.
Vander is done. He doesn't want more of this. He thinks Silco went too far with pushing this one to the bridge. Piltover got defensive and they lost too many people.
Silco doesn't get it. Where he goes, so does Vander, but Vander is his own man, he decided to come too, and he killed enforcers too. Felicia's death is tragic, but as he later will tell Renni about the death of her son: at least she died fighting for the cause, and not some petty infighting, or worse, an accident at the shitty mines.
Vander, the Hound, is not only mad with grief, he refuses to carry the blame of his own actions. It's a character flaw and that's fine! The angry man channels that anger with violence, the only way he knows how.
Silco is probably shocked, and may not say the right things to calm Vander down.
Silco is under the assumption that Vander BELIEVES IN HIS DREAM. That he's a true believer of the Nation of Zaun, like Sevika turns out to be. A true believer would understand sacrifice. A true believer would understand too, that stopping now, after Felicia's death, would make THAT VERY DEATH POINTLESS.
So maybe he screams at Vander! What do you MEAN abandoning the fight? What do you mean, being content with the Lanes? How dare you? You'd make her sacrifice meaningless! You'd make Felicia die a pointless death!
And Vander would bellow that it's over. No more death. No more bloodshed. He rescued her kids from that bridge, and they don't deserve to die too, they don't deserve to see more death.
And Silco screams back that it's their job to create Zaun so these children won't have to see more death. Vander is just delaying the struggle.
And then, perhaps, Silco may even mock him. Say that Vander can't change like that. That he's not that sort of person, to just hang up his gauntlets and go peaceful. That Felicia's blood is on his hands too, and that the only way out is through more blood, more sacrifice.
It would be a horrible point to make, if then Vander truly loses it. Silco runs, and Vander's hound comes out, just grabbing Silco and trying to drown him.
It would be poetic, because then Vander goes home in shame. Gets his arm patched up, hides the scar under a brace, collects the kids and tries to pretend like HE CAN BE THAT MAN. Even though he surrendered his gauntlets and metaphorical violence, and tries to lean into the bartender chill persona, there's what he did to Silco.
And later he'll tell Vander "I'll show you what you really are". Because Silco knows that Vander's promises of being a peaceful good dad are flimsy at best.
Anyway, Vander goes home, and eventually the impact of what he's done really hits him. He's single now, and with kids, and the Lanes to run, and nobody knows where Silco is.
Vander slowly realises Silco was right about one thing. Just because Vander followed, doesn't mean he wasn't behind that event on the bridge. Becoming the solo leader of the Lanes has to have hammered that home for him. Suddenly so much responsibility thrust on him.
So Felicia's death was on him too, and his actions against Silco are the proof that he is indeed the sort of man Silco said he was. At any rate, surrendering violence as his first reaction to any trigger will take a lot of work.
He goes to their old hideout and leaves a letter for Silco.
In the happy AU, Silco finds it, and returns to Vander BEFORE ever meeting Singed. There is no glowing eye, no shimmer, and no cannery.
In our AU, Silco never finds the letter. He finds Singed instead. Starts helping him develop shimmer.
I've been thinking that since the goal of shimmer is a form of "keeping alive" and also "bringing back to life", then it's possible that Silco's glowing eye is a byproduct of shimmer experimentation.
And that the only way to keep it alive and function is more shimmer injections. It would otherwise be grey and dead like in the Nice AU.
So Singed is also a factor here. He gives our Silco a real way to deal scary violence to Piltover. And this changes our Silco. He's more radicalised, and more opposed to Vander, having discovered that Vander works with Grayson to keep Zaun under Piltover's boot (basically making sure the boot stays, but doesn't press down too hard).
Vander is, as always, the enforcer of the status quo.
And though this works for them timeline wise, it sadly doesn't change the fact that Silco should know who Vander's kids are.
Vi and Jinx can be excused for not recognising him, what with him being one of their mom's adult friends, and scarred. But Silco doesn't have that luxury. His great friend Felicia had two very distinctive kids, ONE OF WHICH VANDER FUCKING NAMED! And her death triggered his husband so badly he tried to kill Silco over it. If anything, Silco would be hyper-aware of Felicia's kids.
And no amount of alternate fix-its changes that. It's permanent damage to season 1's Silco.
I feel like we can fix Vander's side of things by inventing an entire scene at the Pilt as I did above, but we can't fix 10 years of knowing your friend's kids and then a lifetime of acting like you don't know them.
I think it also cheapens the found family aspect of both Vander and Silco's adoption. You're left to wonder if they took in the girls only because they were friends with the mom.
Silco's adoption of Jinx and co-dependence with her was great because it spoke of the similar shape of their traumas, and how unexpected their bond seemed.
But now it's redolent of friendly obligation. And lies.
How would I fix it by keeping Felicia in the picture?
I would fully remove Felicia's one-on-one with the boys. That night at the bar? It's a party. Young Sevika is here too!
Felicia and many others are there, all congratulating Vander and Silco over the creation of the Lanes. Eventually Silco tires of the social niceties and goes to write in his notebook at the bar. Or maybe there's a montage of the night as the crowds thin.
In the end, Silco is writing, and Vander is still socialising. He talks to 3 people--Felicia, her husband, and a random person. They thank him for all his work. They've done it! And the conditions in the mines are so much better now thanks to XYZ!
Vander is beaming, he's just so pleased. It's clear for him this is the end goal. Felicia asks him, pointing to Silco, if he's okay.
Vander laughs, says Silco is fine, but he's already got his head back in the clouds. You see, Silco doesn't just want the Lanes, he dreams of a free Nation of Zaun.
The other 2 laugh, but Felicia sobers up. She rubs her belly, thoughtful. Then she says "Sounds like a dream worth fighting for."
I don't think she even needs to say anything about being pregnant, but she could go on with something like "I'm expecting. A girl, I think. I know. And I would love if she could grow in a safe city. I'm so scared she'll have to live the way I did, growing up.'
And Vander smiles sadly and tells her, 'We've gotten this far, and we're not going back. We'll make Zaun safe for your kiddo, I promise you that.'
And that's it.
Vander knows OF Felicia. She is a community member. He knows her enough, maybe from Lanes meetings, that eventually he can recognise her children. But they're not friends, and SILCO definitely isn't friends.
And the disagreement after the bridge is fully about where to go from then on, and Vander deciding he wants to run the Lanes and keep them safe, that what they have now is good enough, while Silco wants "more".
That disagreement can turn nasty, and the fact Vander tried to drown Silco becomes a statement about how violent and temperamental he is as "The Hound of the Underground". Something he'll regret soon enough and spend the next few years working hard to try and change.
What do you think?
#vander#Silco#arcane#arcane meta#zaundads#vanco#vi arcane#powder arcane#jinx#felicia arcane#zaun#arcane 2#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane silco#arcane vander#long post#meta
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Strawberry Froyo
pairing: tasm!peter x reader words: 1.4k a/n: y'all i suck at summaries but trust me, it's good summary: you make a new friend :) warning: none, this is pure unadulterated fluff, there's some language tho; ps: this is from the reader's pov
“Son of a-” I silently cursed to myself when I realized late for science. Again. It was the third time this week and I knew my teacher was not going to be pleased. I didn’t have time to waste so I picked up my big stack of books and raced down the hallway towards the classroom until I was oh so rudely knocked over by Eugene ‘Flash’ Thompson who seemed to be in a hurry. Probably to bully some poor kid. Or teacher. Dick.
“Hey watch where you’re going, Eugene” I yelled. Ah, crap. I knew he hated being called Eugene. Pretty much everyone knew. Boy was I in trouble.
“What did you just say?” Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Shit shit shit fu-
“Back off, man, come on. Leave her alone.” This was new. No one ever talked back to Flash. Especially not someone who knows him. On one hand, I was flattered to see that someone was standing up for me, not that I couldn’t, but it was nice and on the other hand, I feared for this guy’s life. He’d banged heads with Flash before and it didn’t end well for him, as I remembered. He was in a few of my classes. Peter Parker. The kid with the death wish. And a really cool camera.
“Shut up, Parker. You’re in my way.” Flash was making his way towards Peter and my heartbeat got faster because 1, this never ends well, 2, I was scared for señor death wish, and 3, I was very late for science. Probably the wrong thing to worry about but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m late. I figured maybe apologizing would get him to calm down.
“Flash I’m sorry about earlier, I really am, but some of us need to get to class.” Me. I need to get to class you pretentious douchebag. I was compelled to say it but I liked having teeth.
He just stood there, silent, like he was desperately trying to calm down, or probably constipating, which I figured meant that I could go. I went back to my stack of books, now lying spread out on the ground, thanks to Flash. I started picking them up one by one when I was joined by a familiar face.
“Here you go,” he said, after giving me a much larger stack than I had gathered single-handedly. Huh. That was fast. Not just in an impressive way but also in a sort of Are you ok? Are you having an acid trip? way. I put a stop to my train of thought and collected my books from him. He was gone before I could thank him.
Timeskip brought to you by Psyduck
After coming up with an excuse for why I was late to science (because I’m not the one with a death wish, no way I’m ratting out Flash), I took my seat and caught up on what I had missed from Gwen. It took me some time to realize that Parker was sitting diagonally in front of me and I wanted to thank him then and there. Despite establishing that he was running short of brain cells, ultimately he stood up for me. It’s not something people bother doing for me. I tore a sheet of paper, expressed my gratitude and I got a little brave and decided to add something more. I crumpled it up and threw it towards where he was sitting. Somehow, somehow, he turned and caught the paper ball. It was like he knew it was coming before it did. What.
He looked behind him, confused as if to ask what is so important that you must interrupt science, you uncultured swine before relaxing after realizing it was me. Not gonna lie, that made me feel nice. Open it I gestured. He opened it to find a hand-written note that read
Thank you for standing up for me :) Oh yes and also the books. Thank you for the books. What do you say I make it up to you? Froyo place around the corner, after school? -y/n
He looked at me and smiled before turning back and scribbling something down. I’d be lying if I said that smile didn’t make me smile too because oh lord it was the cutest thing ever. Like baby turtles walking for the first time. Or like baby axolotls. Like a ray of sunshine that -ow. I was distracted after the same paper ball from earlier found me again. I opened it to find the words
I’d love to :) I’m looking forward to it. -Peter.
Is it possible to find someone’s handwriting cute? Because I did. For some reason, it was adorable. I smiled to myself and then in his direction after reading it. I don’t know why, but I felt the need to save this paper for a long, long time.
I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day.
Timeskip brought to you by Roadkill restaurant - you kill ‘em, we grill ‘em.
I made it to the froyo place first, so I saved him a seat at the best table I could find. You could say I was a little nervous, but to be honest, he seemed very comfortable to be around. He was like a warm cloud of comfort. He was like an old friend you’ve known your whole life. He was five minutes late.
“I’m so sorry. There was some stuff, and there was some more stuff after that stuff, and then I-”
“Dude, relax, it’s fine. Sit down. Breathe.” He was out of breath like he ran all the way here.
“I-Thanks. I’ll uh, yeah I’ll sit down.” He sat down and took a few minutes to catch his breath. I silently observed him in a non-creepy way and I realized that he was much more adorable closer. He’s the kind of guy who you’d thank after he bumps into you.
The waiter was here to take our order. “strawberry froyo with cookie dough bites”, we both said simultaneously. Surprise is an understatement.
“No way, I thought I was the only one,” I said.
“It is an elite combination, and no one can tell me otherwise.”
“Exactly. Everyone I’ve had froyo with says it’s trash, and it’s sad how so many people are wrong.” He laughed at this and told me about other bizarre combinations he had tried.
We spent the rest of the evening at the froyo place and to say it was amazing would have been a huge understatement. We talked about movies, music, books, and other things we were both interested in and it was incredible how great we got along with each other, considering we’d never even had full conversations before. I felt comfortable around him like you didn’t have to run everything thrice inside your head before I said it. You know when you find someone so in sync with you, it’s like you’re the same person? Like you know exactly what they mean when they say something? That, times a hundred was how I felt.
“Listen, y/n, I had a great time”
“Likewise, Parker,” I said with a smile. He smiled back and I swear to god one day it’s going to be the death of me. None of us knew what to say so we just smiled like idiots and stared at the suddenly very interesting walls and ground.
“So, I’ll call you? Later?” I decided to break the silence.
“Oh, yeah, sure, do you have my number?” As he said this, he started getting a little restless and I could swear I heard police sirens somewhere in the distance.
“I don’t think I d-” Before I could complete my sentence, He took my hand, and started writing his number on my palm. As he was writing, I started to feel very aware of the fact that our hands were touching. I felt sort of jumpy like I wanted to twirl and hop my way home. He wrote it with utmost concentration and held my hand like a delicate artifact he was scared of dropping. He was so cute when he was focused. As soon as he was done, he walked away out the door and towards traffic while facing me before screaming “Call me!” and disappearing into the alley nearby on his skateboard.
I realized I was still there, at the froyo place, lost in my thoughts before I decided to head home as well. Oh boy, I’m in trouble.
#peter parker x reader#spiderman x reader#tasm!peter x reader#tasm peter x reader#peter parker fluff#tasm peter x you#tasm!peter x reader fluff#peter parker x reader fluff#avengers x reader#mcu x reader#maya writes#tasm fluff#the amazing spiderman#tasm peter parker#tasm spiderman#tasm!peter parker#tasm!peter x you#tasm!peter imagine#tasm!spiderman x reader#tasm!peter parker x reader#tasm!peter fluff#tasm!peter parker imagine#tasm!peter parker fluff#tasm!peter parker x you#tasm!spiderman#peter parker imagine#andrew!peter parker#andrew!peter x reader
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I would love to see the chain react to reader from the atla universe or just one that uses bending in the same way? Just using bending unconsciously and freaking them all out because of it.
I love Atla, I loved writing this! I didn't know what kind of bending you were expecting, so I did waterbending, I hope you like it.
A notice about orders; I'm doing them in order, so if yours takes a little longer, it's probably because I'm working on others, but they'll all be done! And I'm very happy with them too, don't worry about it, you can send them, I'm loving your ideas.
It was a hot sunny day, so much so that Chain mutually agreed to take a break to go into the nearby river. It was a calm river with a small waterfall that made a pleasant noise in the environment. Wild and Wind were the first to jump in, excited as children, well, at least one of them was one. I couldn’t have been happier. You could say that the water is my territory, so on a day like this, being in cold water was paradise for me.
Little by little, the others started to enter the river too. It was easy for them, they could just take off their tunics and equipment and get in, while I had to temporarily separate from the group to change and put on a bathing suit, but that was okay, it didn’t take long. Soon I was also entering the river to enjoy the sunny day.
The cold water touched my body bringing a welcome feeling of relief, cooling my hot and sweaty skin, but this moment of peace was short-lived after I felt a wave of water hit me directly in the face, followed by the sound of childish laughter. That brat. I imitated his attitude, pushing water with my hands towards him, hitting him with everything and stopping his laughter. The sailor still had the audacity to better himself with indignation, as if he hadn’t been the first to start. I could hear the others laughing in the background too, but they didn’t have the courage to get involved in this. Now it was war.
Soon the area of the river where we were became a mess of water being splashed in all directions incessantly. Until I could feel a particularly strong attack coming from Wind, and instinctively wanted to retaliate even more. The movements so natural to me happened without me even being able to think about it, soon a small wave, but bigger than any I could generate with my bare hands, appeared next to me and went towards the Sailor, strong enough to make him stay underwater for a few seconds, raising his head in surprise and confusion right after.
— Aha, I won! – I exclaimed excitedly, but my excitement died when I saw the lack of reaction not only from the sailor, but from all the boys. – What happened? Was I too harsh?
— How did you do that?! – Wind was the first to speak, coming towards me excitedly. Only then did I understand my mistake.
— Yeah, was that some kind of magic? – Wars asked, intrigued.
— I’ve never heard of magic like that. – Hyrule replied, looking curious and suspicious at the same time.
— Well, that’s because it’s not magic. – I replied, creating even more doubts in everyone, who remained silent waiting for me to continue. – You know, you may not know much about the place I come from, but there’s no magic there. On the other hand, there are people there who can have some control over one of the elements of nature, using specific movements. We’re called benders.
Even when I tried to explain, they seemed terribly confused and incredulous. Of course, they already knew I came from a different kind of world, and had somehow ended up here through a strange portal, but I’ve avoided talking about my home to them, precisely because I thought it might be too much for them to take in. Just as it has been for me.
— So, you can simply control the elements of nature? – The Champion questioned, not very confident about it.
— Not all of them, and we call it bending. There are four main types of bending, water, fire, earth and air. People who have this ability can only bend one of the four, with the exception of the Avatar. – I can’t tell if throwing all this information out was useful or just made the situation worse.
— That’s cool! – Wind exclaimed. – Show me more, that’s really cool!
— Well, that’s definitely interesting, could you demonstrate more of that? – Time asked, and I could tell he wanted to analyze it better.
— Yeah, what do you normally use it for? – Twilight was the next to ask.
— Well, waterbending can be used as a medicinal method, and each bending can be used for various everyday things, and for fighting.
— You mean you could have used it to fight this whole time and you just chose not to?! – Legend seemed indignant at that.
— Well... I already imagined it would be difficult to explain about this. – I replied, while using my bending again as they had asked me to, making a large ball of water float over the river.
— Cool. – Wild said. – Now that we know and you can use it, I’m sure it can be very useful.
— Yeah, you said it has medicinal properties? That would be really good. – The Traveler questioned, receiving a positive answer from me.
— Guys, you’re forgetting the main thing! – Wind said, getting everyone’s attention. – Have you thought about the games we can play with this?
Everyone snorted at the boy’s childish answer, when we expected something a little more important than that. I was afraid to talk about it with them, but they ended up being much more understanding than I imagined. That’s good.
— But I must admit that I’m very curious about this too. Can you show me other things you can do? You said there are four main bends, does that mean there are other smaller bends? – Sky asked excitedly, and everyone seemed as curious as he was about the subject.
— Hey, this would be really useful for forging swords, can you help me next time I work on the Champion’s sword? – The blacksmith was the next to ask, which created a gap for a flood of different questions.
— Can you close wounds?
— What exactly would an “avatar” be?
— How does earthbending work?
— Can I be considered an airbender?
— How do movements influence this?
Soon, I was surrounded by curious blondes and being drowned in their curious questions. I think we’re going to spend a good amount of time on this subject.
#link x reader#linked universe x reader#linked universe#lu x reader#tloz#legend of zelda#linked universe fanfic#x reader#atla
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a quiet undoing
buddie - post-808 coda - read on ao3
“Eddie’s moving to Texas.”
Maddie blinks at Buck, processing his words. It’s barely a second before her head tilts, and her eyebrows draw in, and she’s looking at him like he’s six again, like he’s fallen from his bike and all she wants to do is patch him up.
Protect him from the world.
“Oh, Buck,” she says, soft like she’s worried he’s fragile, like he might break, and maybe he will, because he doesn’t even remember it, driving to her house.
It’s all a blur.
Going to Eddie’s with a basket of baked goods.
Using his key and feeling that quiet thrill in his chest at the click of the front door unlocking.
Teasing Eddie about whatever he was looking at.
And then, being hit with something that Buck never imagined he would be. The prospect of Eddie leaving LA.
Of leaving him.
“I don’t — I’m not sure why I’m here,” Buck says, voice feeling tight with a fresh wave of tears. The first lot came when he was sitting on Eddie’s couch, when Eddie was no longer watching him and he allowed himself a moment not to pretend. They’re harder to swallow down this time. “I just got in my car and somehow ended up here.”
“That’s okay,” Maddie says, reaching out to put a hand on his arm, coaxing him inside. “I’m glad you came.”
She leads them to her couch, and Buck sits down, trying not to think about Eddie’s couch.
How many times has he sat there with Eddie? With Chris?
How many times has he slept there?
How many of Buck’s memories have been born on Eddie’s couch?
And now, he’s just spent an hour there on a call with a real estate agent, trying not to be anything but supportive as Eddie asked about different properties in fucking Texas.
Because how could he be?
Eddie misses Chris more than anything in the world.
He needs to be with him.
Buck understands, even if it feels like his own heart has been carved out of his chest.
“He wants to be with Chris,” Buck says, he’s not sure how long later. Time doesn’t feel like it’s moving quite like normal. “He’s looking at houses. I don’t understand why he doesn’t just fly there and bring him home. This is his home, Maddie, not Texas.”
“Buck…”
“I know, I’m not — I would never say this to him, don’t worry. I’ll let him go, even if it kills me. Even if I…”
The words get caught in his throat, and god, it’s love that’s strangling him right now, he knows it.
Another thing he can always associate with Eddie’s couch.
His eyes burn, and his chest feels cracked open, and it’s as Maddie’s pulling him in for a hug that he finally breaks. Tears hot on his cheeks, half-formed breaths shuddering out of him, his entire being — body and soul — aching with grief.
He’s always been an easy crier, always felt things too hard, too much, but he can’t recall the last time it felt this overwhelming.
Not when Tommy broke up with him.
Not when he was coming to terms with his own death — three minutes and seventeen seconds.
Not even when Maddie left, as much as it killed him.
It was probably when Eddie was shot. When Buck broke down in front of Chris.
Now, it’s Maddie who holds onto him as he sobs, murmuring soft words he can’t quite process as his body shakes with sorrow, as he tries to come to terms with the reality of yet another person he loves leaving him.
It’s minutes, or maybe hours, until he’s wrung dry, until the tears have stopped and his face feels tight and sticky and his heart continues its confused, worried beat within his chest: how will we go on?
Buck doesn’t know.
But he wipes at his eyes, and takes a slow breath, and this is what he does know:
He’s in love with Eddie.
And it’s because of that love, that he’ll let him go.
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Brushing off some of our older gaming stuff to finally play "The Force Unleashed" (do not spoil it for me) and found myself immediately compelled by this presentation of what Luke Skywalker's life might have been like as "Darth Vader's son". (Or Leia's life, of course.)
Like, obviously, Darth Vader would not (and will not, I presume) have the same degree of attachment to his assassin here as he would/will to Luke, but the parallels are immediate and not subtle. Vader has killed a LOT of Jedi children by this point, but he sees a child powerful in the Force holding his own red lightsaber and something in him apparently snaps. And in the similar circumstances of 1) raised in secret away from the Emperor, and 2) trained to be a weapon against the Emperor, I suspect that Luke would actually have had a very similar quality of life to Starkiller (slightly better overall perhaps, but still similar), because I highly doubt that Sith Lord Darth Vader, who is held together by rage and spite, who is super traumatized by war and haaaaates being confronted by his own mistakes, would have ended up being even a half-decent parent if permitted to actually raise Luke as a Sith apprentice.
I was reminded of these games because I saw someone talking about how Galen Marek (protagonist of "The Force Unleashed") and Mara Jade (Luke's love interest from the Extended Universe) have very similar backstories and arcs, though they felt Galen's was better executed. So, I started up this game wondering to myself, "How old is Galen compared to Luke? A romance between Luke and his father's assassin / apprentice seems compelling... At worst, I bet it's comparable to the age difference between Luke and Din..." And yep! It looks similar and could also be fewer years than that. Galen could be 19 in this game for all I know.
I'm already enjoying an AU premise where Darth Vader somehow finds and captures younger teenage Luke, but he's panicking because 1) his son already hates him for injuring or even killing Obi-Wan (let's say that Owen and Beru are spared somehow, and also already calling up the Rebellion to fight the Empire to get their nephew back), and 2) Vader reeeeeally doesn't want the Emperor to find out about his son. But he doesn't really have a convenient place to stash his secret son! Palpatine is already calling demanding to know why Vader hasn't already completed some urgent imperial business.
So, Vader has to call his Ventress-in-training, Agent Starkiller, who happens to be nearby, to temporarily take Luke into custody. Vader says that no harm is to befall Luke and if he dies, then so does Starkiller, before he has to run off to answer the suspicious Emperor. Galen is, like, maybe 18 or something. (Ahsoka was kicking ass and getting traumatized on the battlefield at 14ish, so I assume that Galen's childhood under Vader was demanding and terrible.) This Sith teenager wants to be doing cool shit to prove himself, not shoved into a Bodyguard AU with some whiny brat who bites and has way too much of Darth Vader's attention already.
Cue some adventure that causes Luke and Galen to bond somehow. I'm not thinking about anything romantic at this point, I'm mostly thinking about angst, as Darth Vader tries to train Luke as a Sith apprentice through brutally cruel methods. Which give both Luke and Galen a lot of intense and complicated feelings about their own and each other's situations. And probably culminates in Darth Vader being shocked and angry when his son and not-son have run off and unionized against him.
The earlier that Vader nabs Luke, the longer you can shove him and Galen together. I'm leaning more towards a "The Worst Summer Teenage Romance Ever (During Sith Apprentice Boot Camp)" setup, even if it means bending the ages around a little, but I think that a "Childhood Friendship Forged Through Trauma And Desperation For Affection While Being Raised By A Sith Lord Who Is Playing Favorites" setup has great potential as well.
I like the potential humor of Luke initially being utterly unfamiliar with the Force and being unable to do anything with it, he doesn't even know how to lift a rock, while Video Game Protagonist Galen is like, "Okay, this soothes some of my terror about being replaced, but seriously, how are you this helpless??? You are like a Tooka kitten to me, what the hell is this???"
I also like the potential angst of Luke and Galen being forcibly separated somehow, so that Luke can escape and meet up with the likes of Han Solo and Princess Leia somehow, and he's all sad because the guy he liked is probably dead or else hates him. And then I like the potential humor of Galen showing up again as a real freak of nature, a human hurricane, just throwing everything around with the Force, waving a red lightsaber around. Luke has hearts in his eyes, while Han is like, "So, uh, this is the dead boyfriend, huh? Yikes."
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Coming Home (Lucifer x gn!Reader)
a/n: it's finally here!! hope you guys like it, i'm really happy with this one. the ending still cracks me up a bit lmao
warnings: honestly there really isn't any. this one is definitely a bit lighter than the others i've written. it is implied that Lucifer was angry, and there is a second where reader is assumed to be dead, but there isn't anything actually happening (it'll make sense when you read it lol)
When you arrived back in your time period, you and Solomon had left the portal into the palace. You looked around, eyes widening as you recognized that this was your time.
For the first time ever, you saw a look of shock on Barbatos' face as he entered the room. It seems like your arrival was not apparent to him. He led you both up to Diavolo's office at once.
They asked you some questions, wanting to get as much information from you about your predicament. The entire time you were antsy, bouncing your leg and fidgeting with your hands. You wanted to go to the House of Lamentation so badly. You needed them to know you were okay.
When the questions stopped coming, you asked if you could go to the HoL, but Diavolo's reaction puzzled you. "I don't think that would be the best idea." He said, tactfully choosing his words.
Your face fell. "Did something happen?" You asked, leaning forward with urgency.
"No, no nothing like that. It's just..." the Prince trailed off.
"Mammon decided it would be a good idea to try to pawn one of Lucifer's cursed records to pay off his credit card bills." Barbatos said flatly.
Your eyes widened as you processed the information, but your resolve didn't waver. "I still have to go over there. I can still see the others while the two of them settle things."
You knew that you had experienced worse moments of Lucifer's behavior in the past, you could surely deal with this.
Diavolo nodded and Barbatos opened a portal to the house. You gave a soft word of thanks before tepping through it.
You entered into the living room where the twins were. They immediately perked up at the sight of you. Satan and Asmo heard the portal and wandered down to see what had happened. As you all talked and explained the situation of your return, Levi even came down for a snack run completely unaware of your arrival, being shocked at your return. After a few moments you asked, "Where's Mammom and Lucifer?"
The room went quiet, the five giving each other awkward glances before Satan spoke up. "Mammon is in Lucifer's office getting the lecture of the century."
You winced slightly. "How long has it been?"
"Um, it was before I had my snack before dinner, so maybe 4 hours?" Beel said.
You moved to go up the stairs, to which the others reacted negatively to. "MC do you have a death wish?" Amso asked.
Satan agreed. "Lucifer is more angrier at Mammon than I think he's ever been. It probably wouldn't be safe for you to go up there."
"Relax. I'm not gonna interrupt. I'm just gonna wait for them." You said, rolling your eyes and heading upstairs.
---
It was another 2 hours before Lucifer had decided that Mammon had learned his lesson and could be free from the lecture. Mammon rushed out of the room and down the hall, trying to leave before Lucifer changed his mind. In his haste he didn't even notice you.
It was a few minutes later until Lucifer left his office. He needed to meet Diavolo to discuss student council business. The door creaked open and the eldest was quick to notice your presence.
You were sitting on the floor with your back to the wall. Your head leaned against the side of a cabinet. Your eyes were shut as you had dozed off.
For a second, Lucifer assumed he was seeing things. Maybe he had gone too long without sleeping? Admittedly, he has definitely gone too long without sleeping. Maybe Satan and Belphie had decided to play a cruel prank?
His hesitation only lasted a moment until the avatar of pride was kneeling in front of you. He assumed you were injured somehow, because why else would you be unconscious on the floor. His breath was quickening, fearing the worst. He didn't even know how you were here, but here you were unconscious in front of his door and he hadn't even known.
Lucifer grabbed your shoulder shook you gently, trying not to hurt you. "MC? MC wake up, please-" He started, sounding desperate, but he stopped as your eyes flickered open and you yawned softly.
"You really know how to keep someone waiting." You said, giving him a slight smirk even despite your half-asleep state.
You joking was the only thing he needed to hear. He pulled you into his arms in an instant. You felt him take a deep, shuddering breath as if the weight of the world was no longer on his shoulders (because his world was in his arms)
You wrapped your arms around him, lazily tracing soft circles on his back in an attempt to soothe him.
Once he held you for long enough that he could no longer assume it was a dream or a hallucination, he pulled away and began looking you over. "You aren't hurt are you?" He asked.
You shook your head.
He seemed somewhat puzzled at your response. "Then why are you on the floor?"
"Because I had been waiting out here for a while and I was tired."
"You should have just came in, it would have been-" He began, almost having a light scolding tone to his voice.
"After hearing some of the day's events from Satan and Asmo, sorry, but there was no way I was opening that door." You said with a chuckle. Lucifer knew you were right, but he was still a bit frustrated that you hadn't come sooner.
Lucifer seemed to look you over once again before placing a kiss on your forehead. Your face changed to a lovesick grin, looking up at him. He gave you a slightly confused look, silently questioning your expression.
"I missed you." You said.
Lucifer would never admit to the flurry of butterflies in his stomach, but you could tell from his gaze and the light dusting on pink across his cheeks.
He stood up, offering you his hand. You took it and pulled yourself up to stand with him.
"You know, I just got a wonderful tea blend from Akuzon. Would you like a cup?" He asked as he walked to his room.
You smiled. "Of course." You said matter-of-factly. As if you would ever decline.
He made his way to the electric kettle. Whenever he knew he would have a late night, he tended to keep the kettle on so he could have water ready on demand.
You shut the door and moved over to the couch near the window. You took a deep breath, finally feeling like you were able to relax. You look over to watch Lucifer.
"This is an old favorite of mine. It's been out of stock for a while and when I found it I couldn't resist it." He said with a chuckle. He showed you the box, taking a breath to continue speaking but you cut him off.
"No please! I'm so sick of that one!" You said, voice louder than you meant it to be.
He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at you. His gaze was a mixture of confusion and disbelief. the audacity
You were confused too, almost like you expected him to remember the situation you were referring to. "Ohh okay I forgot that wasn't a recent experience for you." You said in realization.
"MC, what in Diavolo's name are you talking about?"
"That flavor of tea was your old favorite for years back in the past. That's the only flavor of tea I've had in weeks. Please, for the love of everything unholy, make me literally any other blend." You said.
Only you could speak to him that way without consequences. He chuckled softly, shaking his head as he pulled a separate box from the cabinet. One of your favorites. He put the other back, as he realized he hadn't had your favorite since you had disappeared, and he wanted to fully indulge himself in the reality that you had returned.
After drinking the tea, you yawned. He looked over to you. "You should go to sleep." he suggested softly.
You were tempted to just go to his bed without question, but your logic overrides your sleepiness. "You should too."
He chuckled, standing up and walking toward his desk. "Nonsense, MC. I need to go inform Diavolo of your return. I fear I've waited long enough-"
"Solomon and I arrived in the castle. I spoke to Diavolo already." You countered. He paused for a moment.
"When is the last time you had quality sleep?"
He went to answer but hesitated as he realized he didn't know the answer.
You grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to the bed. He relented, getting into the bed beside you. You laid your head on his chest, murmuring a soft "good night" as your eyelids fluttered.
He kissed the top of your head. "Good night, my love." He responded, quickly dozing off due to the company of his beloved.
---
The next morning, you walk down to the kitchen to see Mammon making breakfast. While facing the stove he asked "Whoever you are, can you grab the milk for me?"
You oblige his request, grabbing the bottle and turning towards him as he turns around. He dropped the spatula and audibly gasped.
"You're back?!?! GUYS MC IS BACK!" He yelled.
Belphie was half asleep as he entered the kitchen to get a drink. "Yeah, and? They've been here since last night." He snapped as he looked through the cabinet.
Mammon scoffed. "Ya finally get back to us and you forgot to tell the Great Mammon?? What happened to me being your first man." He said, taking great offense to this.
You were never gonna hear the end of this.
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me shall we date#obey me x reader#obey me lucifer x reader#lucifer x reader#om! lucifer
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I havnt read those books in the shadowhunter chronicles yet, what are your favorite things about them? (Im curious whether I should read them or not since I have such a big tbr already)
Oh maaan you're in for a ride
I have no idea which series in the Shadowhunter Universe you meant exactly but i'll start with my fav
Part I:
The Dark Artifices:
Do you ever feel like your soul needs a good mix of romantic pining, chaotic battles, and emotional devastation? The Dark Artifices is calling your name.
But seriously if you love stories that combine heart-pounding action, deep family bonds, and characters so real you’ll find yourself thinking about them long after you've finished the books? This is the series for you!
This series follows a family of Shadowhunters in sunny Los Angeles (yes, there are beaches AND demon fights) as they deal with forbidden love, ancient laws that make no sense, and plot twists that will leave you staring at the ceiling at 3 AM like: what just happened.
It’s got:
Two people who can’t be together because of reasons but have enough chemistry to destroy you.
A goofy warlock with more secrets than anyone is ready for.
A soft boy who paints and probably writes poetry but will absolutely murder you if you hurt his siblings and childhood friend.
A broody faerie loner who says “I work alone” but would probably die for his friends.
“I would die for my siblings, but also, they’re so annoying” energy.
Found-family dynamics that will have you texting your friends, “DO YOU SEE THIS?”
And, of course, the *painful but addictive* mix of love, loyalty, and chaos...
Enemies-to-lovers? No, wait—friends-to-lovers? Actually, it’s more like "reluctantly obsessed but too emotionally constipated to say it."
Three people staring dramatically at each other like ‘Is this polyamory or a REALLY complicated love triangle?
Characters who will make you scream, “JUST COMMUNICATE,” but you’ll love them anyway.
Enough family angst to fuel a therapy session for years.
A genius, autistic boy who solves mysteries but can’t solve the mystery of his own feelings
Main characters? Let’s just say there’s a parabatai bond that’s more complicated than your high school crush.
The plot? Fast-paced, full of betrayal, and packed with vicious fight scenes.
The family? Everything is fine...except when it’s not.
The romance? You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll probably scream and definitely ship things that should not be shipped. :)
Basically a murder mystery, faerie politics, and the most relatable struggle of all: Trying to keep your family alive and well while the world is falling apart.
Fair warning: you’ll never emotionally recover (and you’ll love every second).
part II:
The Mortal Instruments:
If you’re looking for a fast-paced urban fantasy series full of adventure, humor, and heart, you need to pick up The Mortal Instruments.
It’s got everything: shadowy secrets, epic battles, forbidden love, and enough twists and turns to keep you hooked from start to finish. Plus, the friendships and family bonds will hit you right in the feels.
If you like:
Hot people with emotional trauma
Family dynamics so messy even you would say "y’all need therapy"
Enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-allies-to-love(maybe) but make it *gay*
Bonus gay dads with actual functional communication (because someone has to balance the chaos)
A love triangle that's not technically a triangle, but don't worry, it'll still destroy your soul
If you do then babe, let me introduce you to The Mortal Instruments:
It’s like Twilight, but everyone fights better is hotter and has sarcasm set to ✨maximum damage✨.
You'll question the characters' life choices, then realize your own aren’t much better.
There’s an overachieving golden boy with a superiority complex who definitely Googles his own name but is secretly baby.
A girl who just wants to vibe and maybe not be surrounded by apocalypses, but alas.
A cinnamon roll nerd who says, “I don’t want to be here,” but somehow ends up saving the day every time.
And a guy who walks in like: "I’m too goth for this mess," but then adopts everyone and pays for dinner.
The Mortal Instruments is what happens when an ex fanfic writer starts a writing carrier and makes a book series: chaotic, emotional, weirdly self-aware, and packed with heart. Read it. Your inner emo kid will thank you.
Bonus:
The plot? Like Supernatural on speed.
The dialogue? Whedon-esque but with more sass per square inch.
The drama? Every fanfic writer wishes they wrote this level of ✨chaotic bisexual disaster energy✨.
If this sounds appealing, congratulations! This series was literally written for you.
part III:
The Infernal Devices:
The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare is an absolute gem of a series, blending romance, adventure, and a touch of Victorian-era steampunk. If you love books with unforgettable characters, heart-wrenching love triangles (in the best way), and a beautifully atmospheric setting, this is the series for you.
It’s full of witty banter, emotional depth, and a story that stays with you long after you turn the last page. Trust me—there’s no ‘right’ team to root for, but you’ll love every moment of trying to decide.
The plot? Wild.
The romance? Devastating.
The side characters? Hot, chaotic, and probably more interesting than the main ones in most other books you’ve read.
Let’s not forget:
The Victorian Aesthetic™ (it’s giving Pinterest board).
A robot army that would make Skynet say, “You okay, bro?”
Poetry recitals that feel like life-or-death declarations.
And more tragic backstories than a Shakespearean play.
It's got:
a steampunk version of London where demons and shadowhunters roam the cobblestone streets, and your biggest problem isn’t the fog, but the ✨existential dread✨.
There’s a protagonist who just wanted to read books but accidentally became the center of everyone’s emotional drama (relatable queen).
A golden retriever boy who’s so perfect it physically hurts and is slowly dying.
And a sad boy™️ who looks like he stepped straight out of a My Chemical Romance album, only with a reading obsession.
A love triangle where instead of fighting, the two love interests are like, ‘Hey, what if we all just loved each other?’
Friendships so deep they’ll make you scream, “WHY CAN’T THE WORLD LET THEM BE HAPPY?”
A heroine who’s like, ‘Do I choose the guy who might secretly hate himself more than anyone else alive, or the literal angel in human form?’ (Spoiler: she chooses both. Iconic.)
Brooding boys who quote poetry in life-or-death situations (because of course they do).
*A love triangle where instead of fighting, the two love interests are like, ‘Hey, what if we all just loved each other?’
Start with Clockwork Angel and get ready to laugh, cry, and ugly sob over Will, Jem, and Tessa. But be warned: this series will RUIN you in the most beautiful way possible.
I won't write a summary of The Last Hours since i haven't finished it yet sorry babes, but hope you liked these *mwa*
#the dark artifices#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc#tda#the mortal instruments#tmi#the wicked powers#the last hours#tlh#the infernal devices#tid
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Just Friends - Part 3
Dear GOD this was the last week before break and parent teacher conferences so it has been a long one. I have 39 conferences for who knows why between Monday and Tuesday
Read the previous part here
WC: 3774
Warnings: parental death mention, asshole coworkers, swearing
________________
Emeline’s phone was buzzing so much while she was teaching that her students ended up teasing her for violating her ‘no phones in class’ policy. She tried to argue that while the phone was buzzing, she wasn’t looking at it, but as soon as she did that, she had already lost, sending her lesson into disarray and forcing her to rethink the rest of the unit as she had planned it. Jeremy was texting in the newly formed group chat between the five of them about the girls going to see a game at the Garden.
Emeline had to ignore the messages until she finally had a free period before lunch, silencing her phone as soon as she could, sitting down thankful that none of her students had asked if they could come in for help during what was probably going to be the only time she had to be alone for the rest of the week. She reads through what seemed like a hundred messages from the four of them, Fran and Maddy already agreeing, John letting them know that the tickets were all ready for them.
They just needed to know if Emeline was going.
She didn’t want to go.
First, it was a game in the city after what would be another long day at school and she wouldn’t have time to change or even drop her work bag anywhere before having to get to the arena. She knew the T well enough to navigate the green line, but knowing the public transit in the city, it would mean she would show up to the game at least an hour late, if not later but the time she got home and back.
Second, she knew nothing about hockey. She didn’t really want to know about hockey, if she was being honest with herself. She already knew about lacrosse and that was enough for her considering how many other things she had to know. Emeline wanted to instill a love of learning in her students, but at a certain point, she understood when someone just got too overloaded with knowledge. Her dad was the one who taught her lacrosse, never really caring about any other sport besides basketball when she was growing up, the ‘08 Celtics team something he never stopped talking about, but she was still confused about the fact that there were ‘field goals’ in the sport. There was no field, and it was a basket, not a goal.
Third, it meant she had to see Jeremy.
That day in the elevator was weird for both of them, neither of them acknowledging that it had happened. Emeline wasn’t even really sure what had happened between them. She hadn’t even told Fran and Maddy when they told each other everything. And that meant everything. Keelan still wasn’t pleased with the fact that her roommates had a habit of somehow using the birthmark on his lower back as ammo against him any chance they could.
Fourth, Keelan would hate it.
That last one didn’t bother her as much as it should.
Before she could even begin to try to figure out why, Javier, one of the other chemistry teachers, pokes his head into her room. “Department meeting after school?”
“For fucks sake, what?” Emeline groans, pulling up her email to see the missed message from Anderson letting them know they were all meeting in his room after school, attendance mandatory. That meant she had to push that lacrosse workout the athletic director asked her to schedule by at least an hour, which meant she would have even less time to get to the game tonight. It actually might not be such a bad thing if it weren’t Anderson scheduling it. “God, I would have willingly taken an overload if it meant he didn’t have to share a prep with us.”
Javier laughs, leaning against the doorway. “Yeah, because you have time to teach the five classes you have as it is.”
“He really thinks we have no lives outside of these jobs, doesn’t he?”
Javier comes in, sitting at the desk in front of her. “Well, because of him, we don’t.”
“Any ideas what it’s about?”
“Probably him trying to scold you for your phone going off all morning,” Javier teases, leaning forward. Before she can even ask how he would know, “I’ve heard nothing in the halls besides ‘Pritch’s phone won’t stop buzzing. Do you think it’s her boyfriend? Do you think it’s her girlfriend? Do you think something’s wrong?’” he says, making his voice higher to mimic their students.
Emeline scrunches her face. “Teenagers are too invasive.”
“Is the answer ‘yes’ to any of their questions?” Emeline sighs, giving him her phone. “Free Bruins game tonight? That’s awesome, can I come, too?”
“I’m not even going,” she scoffs.
“Why not?” Emeline gestures to everything around them as if to tell him anything in front of her could be a reason why. “Tell Anderson you’re sick and have to go home.”
“I have lacrosse after school.”
“We have lacrosse after school,” he corrects her, his not so subtle way of reminding her that she had roped him into being the assistant coach when the previous one moved to a different state for her wife’s job. “I can run the workout, no problem.”
“You’ve never done that before,” she tells him.
Javier rolls his eyes, tapping away on her phone. “They’re teenage girls. They’ll just sit on the bikes because they refuse to do anything else, anyway. How much do we care? And Jeremy said he can pick you up by 4:30 for the game, which gives you plenty of time to start the workout if you wanted to.”
Emeline practically lunges across the desks for her phone. “You fucking didn’t.” She reads the messages, ‘her’ telling him she wants to go but has to stay at school late. He even brought up the fact that she wouldn’t get home in time to change and drop her bag off. Fran and Maddy letting her know they would have a change of clothes waiting for her in the car, and that her work bag would be safe there. “Really bold of you to do to the person in charge of ordering the sulfuric acid.”
“You’re not gonna kill me and dissolve my bones, Emeline. The sulfuric acid they sell doesn’t have a high enough concentration for you to be successful, and you know that.” She scoffs. “If I’m not here, who are you going to sit with at these stupid department meetings.”
“Touche.”
The rest of the day goes by in a blur, Emeline’s phone continuing to light up with messages in the group chat. She knew that Jeremy and John really didn’t have much to do besides prep for a game, but Maddy was in hour ten of her twelve hour shift at Mass Gen, and Fran was normally swamped with meetings all day, every day. Why did they suddenly have all this time to be on their phones texting the boys? And how did they have any energy left to go to a game that was going to keep them out until almost 11 pm? How was she going to stay up past 11 pm when it was a school night? She didn’t even stay up that late on the weekends half the time.
Keelan never texted her during the day. Not even to check in and ask her how it was going for her. Granted, she never texted him either because she couldn’t be on her phone in the first place, but isn’t that something a boyfriend was supposed to do? Even if it was just once in a while?
Jeremy did.
By the time the last period of the day was over, Emeline was exhausted, and she was sure her phone was, too. Javier swung back by her room as she was packing her bag to head to the dreaded last minute department meeting. Nothing good ever happened when there was a last minute meeting at the end of the day.
“Any idea what this is about?”Javier whispers to Nick, one of the biology teachers, as he and Emeline sit down in Anderson’s classroom. Nick responds with a shrug, something surprising considering Anderson normally tells him everything.
Anderson claps his hands together, his annoying attempt to get everyone’s attention, just like always. “Alright, let’s start.” He pauses, staring at what Emeline can only imagine are the blank and unimpressed stares of 10 men and herself. “Admin emailed me during first period asking me to remind everyone that phones are not to be used during class unless they are being used for learning purposes.”
Emeline and Javier exchange annoyed glances. “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Emeline mutters. This could have been an email.
“Which is perfect timing since I heard all about Ms. Pritchard’s phone today in the halls. Care to explain, Emeline?”
Emeline shrugs, knowing that if she tells him off like she wants to, he’ll just use it against her right away for being ‘too emotional,’ or something else stupid like that. Being the only woman in the science department and him being the sexist asshole that he was, he used every minute detail he could to try to argue that she was unfit for being a science teacher as a woman. “I had my phone on vibrate and I was getting messages from my friends during my lesson. I turned it off as soon as I got the chance.”
“Well, no phones during class. And to make sure there are no phones during class, you’re all going to be bringing them to my room at the beginning of the day.” Emeline lets out a laugh while the guys start their protests immediately as Anderson pulls out a blue plastic bin that he taped a piece of paper to with ‘PHONES’ written in his obnoxiously messy handwriting. No one particularly liked Anderson, but he knew how to kiss the administration’s ass, hence the reason he was the department head and not someone who was actually competent for the job. “You can thank Emeline for that.”
“Didn’t you say you were told this reminder this morning?” Nick brings up.
“Yes,” Anderson says, crossing his arms across his chest.
“And my phone wasn’t going off until after that,” Emeline points out.
“And didn’t you just interrupt your lesson to your freshmen yesterday because your wife was calling wanting to know what you wanted for dinner?” Javier asks.
“Yes.”
“So you’re taking our phones away because of you?”
“No phones,” Anderson tries to stand his ground.
“What if there’s an emergency? In or out of the classroom?” Emeline asks. “The phones on the walls were disconnected years ago, how are we supposed to call for help if the only working phones are in your room? Are we supposed to ask a student for theirs? That seems like a violation of privacy and a lawsuit waiting to happen.”
Anderson’s face was starting to get red, the way it always did when he was losing whatever battle he decided to fight with the rest of the department. “What emergency out of the classroom could you have? You don’t have any family like the rest of us, Emeline.”
The room goes silent, Emeline sitting there stunned, trying to keep her composure. “I think we’re done. I’m not giving you my phone every day.”
Javier tries to call after her as she leaves, Emeline barely overhearing Nick yelling at Anderson for going so low and being so out of line because of something so trivial. She didn’t need the department to see her in tears over this. She checks her phone, the group chat again blowing up to let Emeline know that they were on their way. She could just wait outside for them, or she could ditch them altogether and just go home. She didn’t want to go to the game before, and she definitely didn’t want to go to the game now.
“Em, what’s wrong?” Fran jumps out of the car she didn’t even realize had pulled up in front of her. Jeremy and Maddy jump out before John can even stop the engine, all of them concerned about why she was standing on the sidewalk crying.
“I just,” she stammers. “Can we just get in the car?” She pushes past them and gets into the backseat, the shirt and somehow a jersey Fran and Maddy had grabbed for her sitting there waiting for her.
“Talk,” Fran demands once they all pile back in. “Was it Keelan?”
Emeline hadn’t even been thinking of Keelan. “What? No. Anderson.”
“I’m gonna kill him.”
“You don’t even know why, Francesca.”
“I don’t need a reason if I see Emeline crying on the sidewalk because of him, Madelyn.”
“Who’s Anderson?” John asks before the girls get into more of a bickering match, pulling away to start his drive to the arena.
“My department head,” Emeline explains, forgetting that he was the only one in the car who didn’t know..
“Her department head,” Jeremy tells him at the same time, causing Emeline’s heart to feel like it skipped a beat.
Emeline clears her throat as the rest of them wait for her to continue, trying to ignore the fact that she could see Jeremy’s small smile at her through the rearview mirror. “He threw a bitch fit about phones and said some shit. It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
“Emeline, it’s not fine if this guy is making you cry,” Jeremy says, his voice unreasonably calming to her. “Do you want to tell us what he said?”
He was so different from Fran, who, while meaning well, would demand her to tell them every detail. Emeline takes in a deep breath, pulling her sweater up over her head to change shirts. “He called me out for not having a family anymore.”
Fran and Maddy screamed so loud in disgust that John almost rear ended the person in front of them on Storrow Drive, trying to keep his composure and not hurt them before the game while her two roommates were swearing like the words were about to be banned and it was their last chance to use them.
“What do you mean?” Jeremy asks over Fran and Maddy, twisting around to look at Emeline in the last row of the car.
Emeline looks down at her lap, hating that this conversation had to happen whenever she met someone new. “My mom left right after I was born, so my dad and his mom raised me. My dad died when I was ten and then my grandmother died when we were freshmen.”
“I’m so sorry,” Jeremy and John tell her in unison, Fran and Maddy still fuming.
“I don’t know any lawyers, can this be a lawsuit?”
“We can probably use some of my dad’s lawyers after I kill him. I cannot believe he would say that to you.”
“You would need someone who does criminal defense if it’s a murder case. Business law and criminal law aren’t the same thing,” John points out.
“Whatever, just drop it.”
“Emeline-”
“No. I asked you to drop it. I can handle it. Nick was yelling at him and one of the physics teachers always records the meetings so if I really need to, I can get the sound bite from him. Anderson is just a petulant asshole who hopefully will get what’s coming to him sometime soon. There’s nothing to do right now.”
They drive in silence the rest of the way to the Garden, Emeline staring out the window. She could just text Keelan and ask him to pick her up. Except, he never would. He would bitch the entire time about having to make the drive into the city, especially when North Station was right there. Why should he pick her up when she could get home by herself?
John parks, everyone getting out. Fran and Maddy go ahead with John while Jeremy stays behind with Emeline, a small tea from Dunkin in his hand.
“Do you still want to stay for the game? I can pay for your T ride if you want to go, or I’ll get you an Uber if you want to be in something more private. I’d offer to drive you back but, not my car, would miss the game, would probably be benched for the next few games,” Jeremy rambles.
“I’m fine,” she tries to assure him, not sounding convincing to even herself. She tries to think of something else to say, finding herself just staring at Jeremy. He was dressed up in a suit and tie, something that hadn’t registered to her when they were outside her school. She loved when Keelan had an excuse to wear something nice, but this? She could feel herself short circuiting over this.
“You have more tattoos that you didn’t show me?” Emeline looks at him confused, pushing aside whatever was going on in her mind as his face turns red. “I swear I wasn’t trying to look but you were talking and I was trying to make eye contact, and I saw some tattoos on your ribs.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Would you tell me about those?”
Emeline takes in another deep breath, something she found she was doing way more to calm herself down lately. Keelan still barely knew about those tattoos. He knew they were there, but he didn’t know the meaning behind them. He had never asked. “My grandmother and I would always say ‘I love you more,’ after the first person said I love you, so I have that on my right side in her writing. My dad would tell me that I deserve to be loved whenever I was upset about my mom when I was little. So I have that on my left side in his writing.”
“I like that. Are you better now?”
“What?”
“You said the other day that sometimes rambling helps calm a person down, right? It’s not whatever happened in the elevator,” Jeremy says, trailing off, kicking a stone back and forth that had found its way into the depths of the garage.
Emeline laughs. “Yeah. Yeah, it does, help.”
“And you kind of do have a family, you know.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I mean, don’t tell me Fran and Maddy aren’t like your family. And you’ve got me, and John, too, if you want us.”
“Yeah.”
“And Keelan.”
Emeline sighs, knowing that the person furthest from her mind shouldn’t be her boyfriend. “Yeah, and Keelan,” she says with a small voice. Emeline looks at him and smiles. Without thinking, she pulls him in for a hug, squeezing him as tight as she could. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“Oh, and here,” he says, handing her the cup of tea. “I thought since you would be out later that you’d need some caffeine.”
Emeline looks at the sticker on the cup, her exact order written out on it. “Thanks,” she tells him. She had told him what she got from Dunkin maybe one time, in passing. He remembered her order.
The two of them walk in silence to catch up with the other three ahead of them. Emeline’s phone was buzzing again, this time with messages from Keelan asking what she was up to that night.
She could ignore him. She wanted to ignore him. He had her location, he could just look and see that she was at the Garden. But why would he go out of his way to check on her when he could just have her tell him?
Jeremy and John say their goodbyes until after the game, Jeremy giving a smile to Emeline before disappearing.
“I’m actually excited for this. We haven’t been to any hockey game together since, what, sophomore year?” Maddy asks, once getting through security and up to the arena, pulling the girls in the direction of the nearest bar, ordering beers for her and Fran and a Coke for Emeline, probably knowing that she needed all the caffeine she could get if she was going to stay up that night.
“I think it was freshman year, actually. BC beat BU in overtime,” Emeline says.
“I got asked out that night by one of the guys on the team, too,” Fran says.
“Who asked you out?” Emeline asks, her heart starting to race for a reason she couldn’t explain.
“Uh, his name might have been Joseph? Wasn’t he one of the goalies? Remember we went on that one date where I ended up leaving because he looked at the check and handed it to me and said, ‘can you cover this?’”
“No, not then. You said you got asked out that night, too. What do you mean, ‘too?’”
Maddy and Fran look at each other, nervous, passing the soda to Emeline. “Oh, Jeremy asked me out before we left.”
Emeline tries to hide her shock as she nearly chokes on the drink, the carbonation burning her throat and making her eyes water. “Oh, that’s great,” she chokes out in the most unconvincing way, trying to clear her throat. “When? Um, what are you guys going to do?”
Fran shrugs, Maddy leading the two of them to their seats. “I think we’re going on Friday? It’s the last night before they leave for the midwest on a road trip, or something. I don’t know, I haven’t been on an actual date in so long, and he’s hot, so I figured, why not?”Emeline sits down, Fran and Maddy starting to try to figure out what the actual rules of the game were so they could at least pretend they knew what was going on. They already had a game plan to cheer when everyone else did and yell at the refs when everyone else did,what more did they need to do? Emeline was barely paying attention, only overhearing that there are less players on the ice than there are on the field in lacrosse. She couldn’t focus.
Jeremy and Fran were going to go on a date on Friday night. There’s no reason why this should be bothering Emeline as much as it was, taking her already shitty day and somehow making it worse. She was happily dating Keelan. Who Fran dated shouldn’t matter unless he was an asshole and hurt her in anyway. Who Jeremy dated definitely shouldn’t bother her, point blank, period.
They were both her friends. That’s it.
#jswayman#jeremy swayman#jeremy swayman fic#jeremy swayman imagine#hockey#hockey imagine#hockey fic#nhl#nhlfic#nhl imagine
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Okay I saw more of your art and had to come back (if it’s okay)
Maybe this time….King Marty? Like in a kings outfit with the septor
and crown and stuff? Idk
no problem at all! i'm just happy you enjoy :D
anyone with any remote knowledge of historical dress from any vague period or region please avert your eyes.
#im having a real doc brown crude model moment here over the fit LMAO.#marty mcfly#bttf fanart#bttf#back to the future#not Exactly what you asked for? i could not bear to draw the fancy stick alas. and it's more of a prince vibe than a king vibe#bc if this guy held any sort of significant position of power something would combust#ik it's a silly doodle but of course i gotta make up some context bc that's part of the fun. YAP SESSION WARNING#i was thinking that doc and marty were dicking around somewhere in a place and period of time with a monarchy. for Science#and for one reason or another he ends up getting mistaken for royalty or something. may or may not be related to how straight his teeth are#so they drag his ass back to the palace and marty has No Fucking Clue what's happening. meanwhile doc is on the verge of a stroke#i think it would be really funny if some princess got infatuated with marty and now he has the plot of the first movie on his hands again#except instead of him ceasing to exist it's like. the entire history of a country#so doc's trying to get him out of there and marty's trying to let this chick down gently bc he doesn't want her to like. kill him or smth#and also there's probably a tannen thrown in there too bc why the hell not#i don't even like royalty aus that much for this fandom but somehow i've got a decent amount of thoughts about this LMAO.#you asked for a silly doodle and somehow it came with a whole fic idea too. whoops#anyone want to take this idea and run with it feel free to#kit does an art#kit yap session#<- bc of the sheer amount of tag on this
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
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OK I'm going to keep this as spoiler free as possible BUT WARNING FOR POSSIBLE SPOILERS FROM CHAPTER 39 ONWARDS 💥💥💥💥💥 also this is all probably nonsense but I needed to share my theories because the brain rot this season is real.
I know the voice we heard wasn't obviously a character we already know but I really think it might be. I have multiple reasons for this-
This season has leant into the time travel element of the diner more than any other. The BertBert episode happening at such close proximity to the main plot compared with the length of time between Leif's timeline with Bertbert. The disparity between how long it had been for the sisters compared with Caspar. The timelines they are a broken and I think this leaves it open for anything timeywimey to happen at this point.
Why OUR diner?? Why is this the only one that seems to have been targeted in this way when we know there is a franchise out there?? Of course there might be others in other universes but this does all feel very PERSONAL
I am suspicious as hell about the sisters dad (his name has fully escaped me???) PARTICULARLY Leif's reaction to it being so suspicious as he essentially just shrugged and went 'probably not real' without much thought into what the truth would be!? Which is super unlike him...I'm really hoping we get to the bottom of this and it is some how connected to the Benefactor because this all seems to weird and unconfirmed to be a throw away thing. From the moment we heard of this guy, who jumps from planet to planet essentially doing good things but in a weird way and then sleeping with lots of people, I thought -'Heh that would be funny if it somehow ended up being Leif' and I CANNOT NOW SHAKE THIS THOUGHT and the IMPLICATIONS. I also feel like Leif is heading somewhere and this season as well as Young Leif and Welcome to the Horizon has really brought out a lot of the darker elements of his character which is INTERESTING
Then David.
And here's where i want to cry a little
But in essence. David has been described as an angry kid who is too smart for his own good. And sure we've seen some of that from him but he's all been relatively chill? But what if this didn't play out as well in an alternative universe?? What if this angry too smart kid somehow got angrier and smarter? Perhaps in a universe where is mum is also very angry and very smart and created an all poweful time-travelling dimension hopping robot designed to hunt down a very specific person at one particular diner...?
Tldr- I think the Benefactor is either Leif or David and both of these would be amazing but also heartbreaking.
I have CONCERNS about the Benefactor and possible identities and I need to scream at somebody about it...
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Post 5 songs associated with your OC, followed by 3 outfits they would wear
Tagged by @arendaes, thanks! Balthazar's the only one I have a sorta workable collection of outfit stuff accessible for, so he wins by default, haha. Although doing this I realized I usually just save single garments, crops, or people's daily outfits (can't post those!!!!) for refs... Forgive me a poor showing. ^^;; I mustered two images of outfits at least??
Five Songs
Nice Type - KIRA feat. monii
The Queen of White Lies - The Orion Experience
Bitter Choco Decoration - syudou
Secret Himitsu - PinnochioP
Debt Collector - Jhariah
Three Outfits
There was no proper way to include them, but these are my favorite shoes in my reference folder for him.
Tagging @camelliagwerm, @bearvanhelsing, and @mountainashfae, if you're interested?
#had a real moment of 'hm there really are at least two hundred songs across these four playlists' while sifting through last night#in the end somehow none of things from those stereotypical character playlist artists made it in...? I just really like secret himitsu#and it really belongs here#the thing that did not make the cut as a result probably would have been wishing well by the oh hellos#anyway I think it's fun that this lil mini playlist turned out like.#two songs about being hot and manipulative and having a good time. two about how life feels so empty. and a chaser of 'it all catches up'#tag game#balthazar lucienne#arendaes
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oh yeah not sure where we're at w money btw. we might be able to get some of it back but we wont know anything concrete until friday
#the fey speaks#which is why i haven't been reblogging the d0n0 post#like. i got $115 total and we Do need to buy groceries before friday and also some of it has already been spent on gas for getting to work#so what i'm saying is the support i got so far has already be immensely helpful#i am just not sure how much more help i will need or by when. or anything. until friday.#and i'd hate to keep askin only to end up not needing it ig. that said if anyone still wants to send me a few bucks while understanding tha#i won't say no. there are many things i need money for in this world rn. like a new belt. been thinking abt a cane. but idk how much it#would help so i haven't been able to justify the cost to myself#but like. there's probably better things you could be doing with your money rn.#also its been really hard for me to get info bc no one (my parents. whose bank acct it was.) wants to fucking talk about it#like. i live here too idk i think i should be allowed to know like what days bills are due and exactly how much they cost!#bc originally i was told (by my mom) that Literally All of our bills were due this past monday. and we would have#no power water or gas. but we still do. somehow. so idfk#and she won't talk to me abt it if i ask she just Stops Responding or walks away#and if i try to ask dad he just responds “i don't know” or starts crying. or like self loathing spiral#so basically. even if we get 100% of the original money back#its ALSO possible we will have a shit tone of late fees and overdraft fees to pay. no clue : )
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(not hornyposting just musing lol) so i’m a singer-songwriter and performer irl and i’m thinking about the fact that i go around on a day to day basis singing serious, professional songs that use dogs and brainwashing and cannibalism as painful heartbroken metaphors. and i’ve been doing this for years but little by little all these things i process my anguish through in songwriting, have also become how i satisfy my sex drive. and i don’t know what to do with that information i just think it’s wild!! fun fact abt me i guess. i go out there in public singing about how service is my fulfillment and calling myself a good boy and i sing about wanting to be violently torn apart and eaten and i’m like. yeah it’s a metaphor. yeah dw i’m really normal. i don’t fantasize about having my humanity stripped from me and being treated like a stupid sweet puppy barking and whining for my lovers sick and twisted pleasure what are you TALKING about. i just like the poetic imagery of it. i SWEAR.
#i just think it’s silly….#like no joke i’ve written five songs this school year and lets see#there’s one about being a ‘‘silly stupid angel’’ who’s degraded and abused and idealized and stripped of all dignity#(yes it’s a commentary on the patriarchy. yes it’s about the toxic relationship i was in at the time. it’s also several of my kinks in one)#there’s one called GOOD BOY about being a dog. whining and kicking up the dirt. growling and whimpering. being taken advantage of#ITS JUST A METAPHOR. obviously. i actually wasn’t into puppy play yet when i wrote that song iirc. guess it got to me….#then there’s the cannibalism one. i gave my soul up you can eat me raw diced up and vulnerable i’m yours to try#it’s a ummmm it’s just a commentary. (also about my toxic relationship. he didn’t want to fuck OR eat me. but somehow still used me)#anyway the other two are just normal one is about filtering myself for him and the other is about being oppressed and poor and angry lol#still though. the fact that over half my songs are literally my kinks turned into poetry. and NOBODY KNOWS#it’s not my fault that those things are on my mind ALL THE TIME. what am i supposed to write songs about if not being a stupid puppy??#i don’t think anyone on my kink blog ACTUALLY wants to hear about this but my kinks are secret so this is the only place i can post about i#hope u can get some sort of psychological insight about me?? or idk stalk me?? show up 2 my shows and kidnap and use me?? who said that#i’m not even like. wet rn i’m just on here as reflex. and i’m THINKING. abt my TWISTED MIND and the weird shit i write about#in an intellectual way. cause i’m not USING my KINK BLOG this week. cause i SAID SO cause i need to KEEP MY WITS ABOUT ME#so i’m gonna be so normal. and not touch myself even a little bit cause i need to sleep and i need to move house and i need to be so normal#unrelatedly: tomorrow i’ll be one month on testosterone!! definitely hasn’t awakened anything in me….#anyway. anyway. i’m going to try to go to bed. probably going to end up edging myself stupid instead though#will just have 2 see what happens…. god it would be a shame if someone came in and used my sleeping body. who said that
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