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mostlysignssomeportents · 22 days ago

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Billionaire-proofing the internet

Picks and Shovels is a new, standalone technothriller starring Marty Hench, my two-fisted, hard-fighting, tech-scam-busting forensic accountant. You can pre-order it on my latest Kickstarter, which features a brilliant audiobook read by Wil Wheaton.

During the Napster wars, the record labels seriously pissed off millions of internet users when they sued over 19,000 music fans, mostly kids, but also grannies, old people, and dead people.

It's hard to overstate how badly the labels behaved. Like, there was the Swarthmore student who was the maintainer of a free/open source search engine that indexed files available in public sharepoints on the LAN. The labels sued him for millions and millions (the statutory damages for digital copyright infringement runs to $150,000 per file) and, when he begged for a settlement, said that they would accept his life's savings, but only if he changed majors and stopped studying Computer Science.

No, really.

What's more, none of the money the labels extracted from teenagers, grandparents (and the dead) went to artists. The labels just kept it all, while continuing to insist that they were doing all this because they wanted to "protect artists."

One thing everyone agreed on was how disgusted we all were with the labels. What we didn't agree on was what to do about it. A lot of us wanted to reform copyright – say, by creating a blanket license for internet music so that artists could get paid directly. This was the systemic approach.

Another group – call them the "individualists" – wanted a boycott. Just stop buying and listening to music from the major labels. Every dollar you spend with a label is being used to fund a campaign of legal terror. Merely enjoying popular music makes you part of the problem.

You can probably guess which group I was in. Leaving aside the futility of "voting with your wallet" (a rigged ballot that's always won by the people with the thickest wallet), I just thought this was bad tactics.

Here's what I would say when people told me we should all stop listening to popular music: "If members of your popular movement are not allowed to listen to popular music, your movement won't be very popular."

We weren't going to make political change by creating an impossible purity test ("Ew, you listen to music from a major label? God, what's wrong with you?"). I mean, for one thing, a lot of popular music is legitimately fantastic and makes peoples' lives better. Popular movements should strive to increase their members' joy, not demand their deprivation. Again, not merely because this is a nice thing to do for people, but also because it's good tactics to make participation in the thing you're trying to do as joyous as possible.

Which brings me to social media. The problem with social media is that the people we love and want to interact with are being held prisoner in walled gardens. The mechanism of their imprisonment is the "switching costs" of leaving. Our friends and communities are on bad social media networks because they love each other more than they hate Musk or Zuck. Leaving a social platform can cost you contact with family members in the country you emigrated from, a support group of people who share your rare disease, the customers or audience you rely on for your livelihood, or just the other parents organizing your kid's little league game.

Hypothetically, you could organize all these people to leave at once, go somewhere else, and re-establish all your social connections. Practically, the "collective action problem" of doing so is nearly insurmountable. This is what platform owners depend on – it's why they know they can enshittify their services without losing users. So long as the pain of using the service is lower than the pain of leaving it, the companies can turn the screws on users to make their lives worse in order to extract more profit from them. This is why Musk killed the block button and why Zuck fired all his moderators. Why bear the expense of doing something nice for users if they'll still stick around even if you cut a ton of headcount and/or expensive compute?

There's a way out of this, thankfully. When social media is federated, then you can leave a server without leaving your friends. Think of it as being similar to changing cell-phone companies. When you switch from Verizon to T-Mobile, you keep your number, you keep your address book and you keep your friends, who won't even know you switched networks unless you tell them:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/29/how-to-leave-dying-social-media-platforms/

There's no reason social media couldn't work this way. You should be able to leave Facebook or Twitter for Mastodon, Bluesky, or any other service and still talk with the people you left behind, provided they still want to talk with you:

https://www.eff.org/interoperablefacebook

That's how the Fediverse – which Mastodon is part of – works already. You can switch from one Mastodon server to another, and all the people you follow and who follow you will just move over to that new server. That means that if the person or company or group running your server goes sour, you aren't stuck making a choice between the people you love who connect to you on that server, and the pain of dealing with whatever bullshit the management is throwing off:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/23/semipermeable-membranes/#free-as-in-puppies

We could make that stronger! Data protection laws like the EU's GDPR and California's CCPA create a legal duty for online services to hand over your data on demand. Arguably, these laws already require your Mastodon server's management to give you the files you need to switch from one server to another, but that could be clarified. Handing these files over to users on demand is really straightforward – even a volunteer running a small server for a few friends will have no trouble living up to this obligation. It's literally just a minute's work for each user.

Another way to make this stronger is through governance. Many of the great services that defined the old, good internet were run by "benevolent dictators for life." This worked well, but failed so badly. Even if the dictator for life stayed benevolent, that didn't make them infallible. The problem of a dictatorship isn't just malice – it's also human frailty. For a service to remain good over long timescales, it needs accountable, responsive governance. That's why all the most successful BDFL services (like Wikipedia) transitioned to community-managed systems:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/12/10/bdfl/#high-on-your-own-supply

There, too, Mastodon shines. Mastodon's founder Eugen Rochko has just explicitly abjured his role as "ultimate decision-maker" and handed management over to a nonprofit:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2025/01/mastodon-becomes-nonprofit-to-make-sure-its-never-ruined-by-billionaire-ceo/

I love using Mastodon and I have a lot of hope for its future. I wish I was as happy with Bluesky, which was founded with the promise of federation, and which uses a clever naming scheme that makes it even harder for server owners to usurp your identity. But while Bluesky has added many, many technically impressive features, they haven't delivered on the long-promised federation:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/02/ulysses-pact/#tie-yourself-to-a-federated-mast

Bluesky sure seems like a lot of fun! They've pulled tens of millions of users over from other systems, and by all accounts, they've all having a great time. The problem is that without federation, all those users are vulnerable to bad decisions by management (perhaps under pressure from the company's investors) or by a change in management (perhaps instigated by investors if the current management refuses to institute extractive measures that are good for the investors but bad for the users). Federation is to social media what fire-exits are to nightclubs: a way for people to escape if the party turns deadly:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/12/14/fire-exits/#graceful-failure-modes

So what's the answer? Well, around Mastodon, you'll hear a refrain that reminds me a lot of the Napster wars: "People who are enjoying themselves on Bluesky are wrong to do so, because it's not federated and the only server you can use is run by a VC-backed for-profit. They should all leave that great party – there's no fire exits!"

This is the social media version of "To be in our movement, you have to stop listening to popular music." Sure, those people shouldn't be crammed into a nightclub that has no fire exits. But thankfully, there is an alternative to being the kind of scold who demands that people leave a great party, and being the kind of callous person who lets tens of millions of people continue to risk their lives by being stuck in a fire-trap.

We can install our own fire-exits in Bluesky.

Yesterday, an initiative called "Free Our Feeds" launched, with a set of goals for "billionaire-proofing" social media. One of those goals is to add the long-delayed federation to Bluesky. I'm one of the inaugural endorsers for this, because installing fire exits for Bluesky isn't just the right thing to do, it's also good tactics:

https://freeourfeeds.com/

Here's why: if a body independent of the Bluesky corporation implements its federation services, then we ensure that its fire exits are beyond the control of its VCs. That means that if they are ever tempted in future to brick up the fire-exits, they won't be able to. This isn't a hypothetical risk. When businesses start to enshittify their services, they fully commit themselves to blocking anything that makes it easy to leave those services.

That's why Apple went so hard after Beeper Plus, a service that enhanced iMessage's security by making conversations between Apple and Android users as private as chats that were confined to Apple users:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/07/blue-bubbles-for-all/#never-underestimate-the-determination-of-a-kid-who-is-time-rich-and-cash-poor

It's why Elon Musk periodically freaks out and suspends users who list their Mastodon userids in their Twitter bios:

https://techcrunch.com/2022/12/15/elon-musk-suspends-mastodon-twitter-account-over-elonjet-tracking/

And it's why Meta will suspend your account if you link to Pixelfed, a Fediverse-based alternative to Instagram:

https://www.404media.co/meta-is-blocking-links-to-decentralized-instagram-competitor-pixelfed/

Once upon a time, we had a solid way of overcoming the problem of lock-in. We'd reverse-engineer a proprietary system and make a free, open alternative. We've been hacking fire exits into walled gardens since the Usenet days, with the creation of the alt.* hierarchy:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/11/altinteroperabilityadversarial

When the corporate owners of Unix started getting all weird about source-code access and user-modifiability, we didn't insist that Unix users were bad people for sticking with a corporate OS. We reverse-engineered Unix and set all those users free:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GNU_Project

The answer to Microsoft's proprietary SMB network protocol wasn't a campaign to shame people for having SMB running on their LANs. It was reverse-engineering SMB and making SAMBA, which is now in every single device in your home and office, and it's gloriously free as in speech and free as in beer:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/07/samba-versus-smb-adversarial-interoperability-judo-network-effects

In the years since, a thicket of laws we colloquially call "IP" has grown up around services and products, and people have literally forgotten that there is an alternative to wheedling people to endure the pain of leaving a proprietary system for a free one. IP has put the imaginations of people who dream of a free internet in chains.

We can do better than begging people to leave a party they're enjoying; we can install our own fucking fire exits. Sure, maybe that means that a lot of those users will stay on the proprietary platform, but at least we'll have given them a way to leave if things go horribly wrong.

After all, there's no virtue in software freedom. The only thing worth caring about is human freedom. The only reason to value software freedom is if it sets humans free.

If I had my way, all those people enjoying themselves on Bluesky would come and enjoy themselves in the Fediverse. But I'm not a purist. If there's a way to use Bluesky without locking myself to the platform, I will join the party there in a hot second. And if there's a way to join the Bluesky party from the Fediverse, then goddamn I will party my ass off.

Check out my Kickstarter to pre-order copies of my next novel, Picks and Shovels!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/14/contesting-popularity/#everybody-samba

#pluralistic #federation #decentralization #bluesky #free our feeds #mastodon #activitypub #reverse engineering

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joostsblog · 8 months ago

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joost klein x fem!reader who has a thing for his hands? loving when his hands wander all around her body.. fingering her during a pre-party then dragging her to hus room to finish the poor girl off both of them competing in eurovision

maybe joost even whispering things in her ear.. lots of neck kisses and reader wakes up in the morning neck, thighs, collarbones basically her whole body having hickeys ☺️

tysm if u do this

here you go :)

the one about his hands and also waking up covered in hickeys ~ joost klein smut

My masterlist here ✨💌

Pairing: Joost Klein x fem!eurovision contestant!reader

Description: Only fantasising about Joost's hands just isn't enough. You need to get the fellow eurovision contestant to actually touch you where you need to be touched.

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: in this version of eurovision no drama is happening, no dq etc, everything is just nice ❣️ i'm leaving for vacation tomorrow (to the netherlands actually lmao) so i probably won't be able to write anything for two week, i'm sorry babes :( filling up my inbox with requests, thoughts, feedback etc is still encouraged tho 💌

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, SMUT, nsfw, fingering (f receiving), protected sex, piv, swearing, consumption of cigarettes, not proofread

His hands were the first thing you noticed about the man. The way he held out his hand in front of you, greeting you with a handshake (which you thought was a bit odd). His hand felt firm yet gentle in yours and you couldn't help but admire the digits tattooed on his fingers.

"Nice to meet you," he had smiled at you and your heart had fluttered just a bit.

Your quick infatuation with Joost and his hands really was poorly timed. You were at eurovision to represent your country and you were supposed to be on your best behaviour. Absolutely no distractions allowed. Too bad thoughts of the blonde dutch man doing ungodly things to you kept intruding into your mind.

So you really shouldn't be spending as much time with him as you did. Always finding an excuse to talk to him in between rehearsals or at breakfast (your favourite because it meant you saw Joost's messy hair in the morning and maybe sometimes you imagined your hands were the ones responsible for that). Your vocal coach would be furious with you if she found out that you had been starting to sneak off with Joost whenever he went for a smoke. Just talking and laughing with him as you watched him smoke. Always paying close attention to those hands when he lifted one of them to his mouth to take a drag in between sentences.

"I think I might be a bad influence on you," he said. "You need to take care of your pretty voice," he mused with a smirk and you swear you caught him eyeing you up and down.

"Don't worry about me, I'm already corrupted," you joked.

"Really, how so?" Joost asked with a grin.

You watched as Joost took another drag, his cigarette delicately placed between his fingers. Oh, what those hands could be capable of doing to you. You couldn't help but let your thoughts wander off again. You wondered how his hands would feel on your hips if you were sat on his lap, his hands guiding you to grind against him. How his hands would feel in your hair, pulling on it while his mouth would kiss along your neck. How his hands would on your throat while he would thrust into you. How his fingers would feel slowly pumping inside of you, hitting all the right spots.

Joost raised an eyebrow when he noticed your absent state.

"You will have to find out," you said smirking.

"Mysterious, I like it," Joost said and finished off his cigarette. "After you," he said after he opened the door. You walked past Joost and your hands lightly brushed against Joost's. Shivers on down your spine.

You decided that maybe the only solution to your problem was to actually get into Joost's pants. Because then all your thoughts and fantasies about the man wouldn't have to plague your mind anymore when they would become reality. So you decided you would do anything in your power to achieve your goal.

You were sitting across Joost in a waiting area. He was handsomely dressed in that black jacket with the dark europe tie and his glasses with the thick brims. His fingers were nervously playing with the cord of his headphones. He looked ravishing. You crossed your legs which caused your thighs to be on full display with the short skirt you were wearing. You hoped Joost would notice and maybe also think about how his hands would feel so good on your thighs (and other places also).

"Excited for tonight?" you asked Joost.

"Huh?" he asked confused.

"The semifinals preparty," you reminded him.

"Oh, yeah," he nodded as he remembered. "Are you gonna be there?" he asked.

"Only if you're there," you said and Joost smiled.

"Then I'll be there, anything for you," he said.

"Anything?" you asked cheekily. Joost narrowed his eyes at you and gave you a grin.

"You will have to find out."

Joost's eyes immediately landed on you as you saw him enter the party. You were swaying your hips to the beat, hands up in the air as you enjoyed yourself on the dancefloor. You grinned at Joost and he didn't need to be told twice as he made his way over to you. You wrapped your arms around Joost's neck to hug him hello, still swaying to the music. Instead of hugging you, Joost put his hands on your hips and smiled at you as he probably assumed you wanted to dance with him. You didn't complain. The thin fabric of your skirt didn't serve much as a barrier between your skin and Joost's grip and still you wished the skirt was gone. Your fingertips cautiously dipped into the hair at the nape of Joost's neck and Joost responded by pulling you closer to him. It still wasn't close enough. Joost leaned down to whisper into your ear.

"You look very nice," his breath ghosted over the skin on your neck and your breath hitched.

"You do too," you said and it was almost sweet. You needed to get him out of here as fast as possible. "You wanna go for a smoke?" you proposed.

"I don't have any cigs left," Joost said.

"I think I saw a cigarette vending machine in the lady's restroom," you said and took Joost's hand in yours to lead him through the crowd. As you reached the door to the restroom you could feel Joost hesitating. "Don't worry, there's no one inside," you said and scurried through the door frame. The door closed behind Joost and the music was reduced to some sounds in the distance. Beside the vanity was the vending machine you had spoken of.

"This is a condom vending machine," Joost stated.

"Oh," you giggled. You took out a euro from your purse and proceeded to buy one condom. "Well," you said as you took the condom from the slot. "There's always other vices you could indulge in instead," you smirked at him.

"What are you proposing?" Joost asked, his hand leaning against the wall beside you.

"What does it sound like I'm proposing?" you looked up at him, condom in hand.

Joost took the condom from your fingers and put it in his pocket before he leaned down and his lips crashed into yours. His right hand held the back of your head, the other grabbed you by your hips. Your lips hungrily moved in sync with each other before they opened and your tongues met. Your arms wrapped around Joost to pull his body closer to yours. You wanted him to feel your breasts pressed against his chest. You sighed into the kiss as you could tell that this kiss alone wouldn't satiate either of you. You blindly reached for the door of one of the stalls and pushed it open before you both stumbled into it.

You broke off the kiss briefly to lock the door of the stall, Joost's mouth eagerly kissing along your neck instead. His hands were resting on your waist, slowly pushing up the fabric of your top to reveal your stomach. You were pressed against the wall of the bathroom stall, not an inch left between you. Joost's lips found yours again. You opened your legs slightly so Joost's leg could slip in between yours. His right hand trailed down your hip until it rested on your upper thigh. You couldn't stop yourself from grinding your hip against Joost's thigh as vivid images of him fucking into you flickered through your mind. You moaned against Joost's lips as you desperately needed to make your wants known.

"I- I- I need," you tried to get out in between kisses. "I need you."

"You got me," Joost murmured against your skin as he kissed down your neck again. "Don't worry, m’en meisje."

His hand ghosted up your thigh and pushed up the hem of your skirt. Your arousal was hot with anticipation. As his hand reached your panties his fingers softly grazed over the fabric right where your clit was. Your hips bucked lightly and Joost grinned against the skin of your neck.

"So eager," Joost tutted.

His fingers carefully pushed your panties to the side until his fingers could dip into your folds. Your head fell back and you bit into your lip to stifle any moans you otherwise would have let out if you two were in private.

Your folds were slick with arousal eliminating any friction as Joost's fingers started circling your clit.

"You're so wet for me," Joost whispered against your ear. Your hands were desperately grabbing onto his shoulders, keeping yourself upright as your knees buckled. Joost's other hand was resting by your side, keeping you close to him. "So ready for me," he said, voice as soft as ever.

Joost stopped circling your clit and you almost let out a groan in frustration. His fingers inched closer to your entrance until they slipped inside of you. Your mouth slacked open, eyes tightly squeezed shut and Joost's hand caressing your side. Your nails dug into Joost's skin as his fingers slowly pumped in and out of you.

"You feel so good," Joost murmured against your ear. "I bet you would feel so good around my cock." You let out a loud moan as his words triggered your vivid fantasy. "Would you like that?" Joost grinned against your skin. "Me fucking you properly?"

"God, Joost," you could only whimper.

"God, you're barely holding it together," Joost whispered. "You're so good for me," he said as he continued pumping his fingers in and out of you.

Suddenly you could hear the restroom door fling open and the voices of two women enter. Joost swiftly pressed his hand on top of your mouth but still continued moving his fingers inside of you. Your mind didn't even register what the voices outside the bathroom stall were talking about as all your mind was occupied with was Joost. Your body was trembling and you did everything in your power to keep yourself from orgasming right then and there as you knew that you would not be able to keep quiet through it. Joost pressed gentle kisses to the skin on your neck as your heavy breathing only intensified.

A few moments later the door closed and you were alone again. Just as you were about to allow yourself to climax Joost withdrew his fingers from you, leaving you trembling uncontrollably.

"Pleaseplease, Joost please," you could only press out. Joost's hand caressed your side and his lips trailed along your neck.

"Sshhh, mijn lieverd," Joost shushed, slowly brushing your hair behind your ear. "I need you to be a little bit more patient," he looked at you fondly. "I'm gonna take you back to my room and we're gonna do this properly." You let out a frustrated groan. You could feel your slick arousal almost dripping down your legs. Joost smoothed down your skirt and top (and his own pants that hid his raging boner) and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. "Come on," Joost said with a grin, his hand held out for you to take as you still stood there dumbfounded.

Reluctantly you took Joost's hand and let yourself be led outside the restroom. You didn't take too many steps before you noticed Mona, one of the stylists on your delegation come up to you.

"(Y/N)!" she hugged you. "How are you?" Mona asked and you just stared at her blankly for a few seconds.

"Yeah, I'm good," you managed to sound out. Mona raised her eyebrows amused.

"Are you drunk? I thought they didn't serve alcohol here," she laughed. Joost looked at you with a knowing smirk.

"Aaaww, she's just a little exhausted," Joost saved you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders playfully. "I was just gonna walk her to her room."

"Oh yeah, she probably just needs some rest," Mona agreed. "We need her on her best game tomorrow," she joked and squeezed your shoulder lightly. "See you tomorrow!"

"See you," you smiled weakly as Mona walked away. Joost giggled beside you. "Shut up," you said and rammed your elbow into his ribs.

"Alright, let's get out of here."

Joost could barely close the hotel room door behind him before your lips were attacking each other again. Hands quickly roaming each other's bodies, grabbing onto any piece of clothing you could get a hold of to get rid of it. Joost's t-shirt was the first to go, swiftly followed by your top and bra. Your fingers fiddled with Joost's belt as the back of your knees hit the bed and you fell on it. You lay on top of it, only your short skirt covering you. Joost grinned down at you, observing your body spread out in front of him as he unbuckled his belt and took off his pants before he joined you on the bed.

You anticipated his lips to press onto yours again but instead, they found your neck again. His hands held onto your waist as you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried them in his hair, softly massaging his scalp. As Joost situationed himself in between your legs you could feel his hard-on press against your vulva through the fabric of your clothes. You let out a moan and Joost hummed approvingly against your skin as you could finally voice your lust for him.

Joost's mouth slowly moved down to your collarbones, alternating between peppering your skin with kisses and sucking at it. His fingers found the hem of your skirt and as he kissed along down your body he pulled the skirt down as well until you were only left in your panties. Your chest was heaving with how heavy your breathing was, anticipating Joost's next move. You let out a groan as his lips connected with the skin of your inner thighs.

"Stop being such a tease," you groaned and Joost grinned against your skin. Joost's fingers hooked in your panties before he finally pulled them down.

"What is it that you want, mijn lieverd?" Joost asked innocently.

"Jesus fucking Christ," you moaned frustrated. "I want you to fuck me finally."

"With pleasure."

Joost got up from the bed and you watched as he got rid of his underwear and you admired his length.

"Hurry," you nagged and Joost rolled his eyes with a soft laugh before he put on the condom you had bought earlier and got back in bed.

"So needy," he tutted, his lips just softly grazing yours. You held onto Joost's shoulders, his hand holding the side of your face before he slowly pushed into you. Your eyes momentarily blacked out as the pleasure spread throughout your body. Joost grunted against your skin also being lost to the pleasure. "So good for me," he praised and you wondered how much longer you would be able to keep it together.

He started slowly moving in and out of you. The slow rhythm, your hands in his hair and his lips pressed to your neck made all of this almost romantic. You wrapped your legs around Joost's hips to help him penetrate into you even deeper. With your hands in his hair, you grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his head from where he was still kissing your neck until his lips found yours again. You moaned into the messy open-mouthed kiss before you softly pulled his hair again to make him look at you.

"Harder," you begged and Joost grinned at you.

Joost snaked his arm around your body to keep you in place, your bodies almost pressed against each other before he started pounding into you. Your nails dug into the skin on Joost's back as the moans tumbled out of your mouth uncontrollably. With each thrust, you were edging closer to your orgasm as Joost hit all the right spots inside of you. The sounds Joost was letting out of his mouth were heavenly, his grip on you dominant yet caring.

"You feel so good," Joost grunted and the sound of his voice pushed you over the edge.

Your back arched off the bed, your breath hitched and your muscles clenched until the wave of pleasure crashed down over you and you came with a series of obscene moans. As you were still riding out your high you noticed Joost's thrust becoming slopier and his moans louder until he came with stuttering hips and plopped down beside you.

You looked at each other breathing heavily and both let out a soft laugh. Joost lifted his arm to invite you to cuddle up to him. You rested your head on Joost's shoulder, your fingers softly drawing along the lines of Joost's tattoo on the side of his stomach.

"Was this okay?" Joost asked. "Are you okay?"

"Of course," you smiled. "This was perfect."

The ringing of your alarm on your phone woke you two up in the morning. Your limbs were entangled with Joost's, his heartbeat steady where your hand was laid on his chest. Joost rubbed his eyes, his hair messy and you never saw him look any cuter.

"What's this?" he complained before you got out of bed to turn off your alarm. As you turned around to face Joost again you noticed his eyes widen in shock. You stopped.

"What's up?" you asked blushing as Joost stared at your naked body. Confused you looked down your body and let out a gasp. "Fuck fuck fuck," you whispered, your hand in front of your lips. "This is bad." You sat down on the edge of the bed and you could feel Joost shift behind you to get closer to you. You looked down at your thighs which were littered in pink and purple hickeys. You desperately rubbed your fingers over them as if doing that could help you get rid of them.

"Oh, liefde," Joost said, his hand cautiously resting on your waist. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," you laughed unconvincingly, trying to calm yourself down. Joost's fingers softly grazed your collarbones and you looked down only to discover even more hickeys. "Oh god," you groaned.

"On your neck as well," Joost said meekly.

You put your face into your hands and cursed yourself for having chosen a very revealing stage outfit. "It's fine," you actually laughed this time.

"Are you sure?" Joost looked at you like a puppy who had just been caught breaking an expensive vase.

"Yes," you said and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Nothing some good foundation and an impromptu costume change can fix," you said although you already dreaded what you would have to tell your delegation about those hickeys. You leaned forward to gently kiss Joost's lips. "It was worth it," you said after pulling back and Joost gave you the proudest sweetest smile you had ever seen. Definitely worth it.

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abswife · 1 year ago

Text

modern gf! ellie headcanons

i'm in love with this woman so this is what she'd be like as your girlfriend <3

nsfw at the bottom mdni

you'd meet her at a vintage thrift store

you'd be there with a couple of your friends and one of them would be like "omg check out the hottie over there"

and you look over and it's ellie looking gooood

then she'd like trip over the carpet or some shit, looking like a dumbass and your friends would immediately lose interest

but not you

you'd be like hot and awkward??

hell yeah

i am a loser ellie truther i won't be stopped

ESPECIALLY modern ellie

like ellie without all of her trauma would be a total goofball lets be fr

so anyway, you'd find a way to talk to her

and you end up securing those digits

you guys would go on a couple dates and start hanging out a lot

you kept waiting for her to ask you to be her girlfriend but it just wasn't happening

so, you took it upon yourself

once you guys are official, she can be much more suave

however, she's still a goober

she would work at a comic book store

and even though she has tons of comics readily available to her, she still owns a like a whole plastic tub of them

wouldn't even put them on a bookshelf, just keeps them in a plastic tub

she DEFINITELY is still a space nerd

maybe she's a student studying astronomy or something

her idea of a date is watching a movie at home and eating ramen noodles lmao

idk why but i feel like when she's at home she just refuses to wear a shirt

like she is just constantly walking around in her sports bra

she also ABSOLUTELY owns a pair of dinosaur boxers and they are her favorite

her favorite pet names for you are babe and pretty girl

and probably like "my little crunchwrap supreme"

she's the type of girlfriend that would do stupid shit to impress you

like she'd try to jump over a trashcan or something in public and totally eat shit

absolutely oblivious to how hot she is

like girls will stare at her in public and when you get huffy about it she's like "??? what are you talking about?"

nsfw

she is usually a top but will bottom if you ask nicely

despite her awkward and silly personality, in the bedroom she's actually very confident and sexy

though she still likes to mess around and have fun

a MUNCH

she could eat pussy all day it's her favorite activity

when she uses a strap she acts like it's her actual dick

she'd have you suck her off and she'd be moaning and groaning like she can feel it

when she bottoms she likes to be spanked oop-

however a little more hesitant to spank you cause she's like "but baaabe i don't want to hurt you :("

though it doesn't really take much convincing lol

she's got a high libido

bby likes to fuck at least every other day like she's a horny little monster

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #the last of us #tlou2 #the last of us part 2 #the last of us 2

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capricores · 1 year ago

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if you have strong mutable (gemini, sagittarius, pisces, virgo) placements then you NEED to write things down if you don't already. all those thoughts that constantly swirl in your head: the frequent tasks, goals, feelings, aspirations, opinions, etc - WRITE THEM DOWN. this is not only therapeutic & stress-relieving for you but almost necessary, or you're going to burn out and overload your own mind constantly.

when you bottle, or when you let plans, goals, dreams, to-do lists, projects, etc live solely in your head - you'll notice you can't sleep as well, it's harder to rest, your memory gets more foggy than usual, you feel burnt out and unable to connect, etc. specifically:

write down your feelings. this will be your ultimate (free) therapy. start to journal, write a diary. make a private twitter/tumblr where you spill your feelings, frustrations, thoughts. you will feel an immense sense of relief by writing or typing your feelings out - even if no one is reading it but you. mutable moons especially. our feelings tend to change rapidly, but it doesn't make them less valid. don't bottle out of the fear your feelings will change/you'll just "get over it"!! write it down and let it out!!

write! to-do! lists!!!!! these don't have to be for important things. you want to learn digital art? you want to study coding? you want to learn french? you want to re-decorate? you probably have a billion things you want to do, and then you get overwhelmed by the options, and do nothing. write down all the things you want to do. make a to-do list for these things. get them out of your head and somewhere permanent/physical. looking at the options in front of you will feel much easier.

make excel project trackers (you can even make these for to-do list items/goals/etc)! mutable placements have a tendency to start a lot of projects or tasks, and never finish any of them. make a simple tracker for all the projects you start. you won't forget what you're working on, and you'll be less overwhelmed trying to remember what you have going on (example of the one i always use pictured below)

talking out your thoughts and feelings is also very cathartic. make fake (or real, i support u!) youtube vlogs where you spill your feelings and talk about your plans, your day, what you have to do, etc. talk to someone you love and trust, vent to them about how things are; or about what you're getting up to. i find writing has an edge, because you can go back to it for reference (mutables tend to forget things easily) - but as long as you're getting the swirl of your mind somewhere outside of your head, you'll feel so, so much less stressed.

mutable dominants tend to constantly live in go-mode, we're restless and always doing something. we feel uncomfortable and sometimes guilty about staying still. our minds don't ever shut off. it's very important for mutable placements to learn how to rest, be present in the moment, and learn grounding. this can be done in many ways, but i've found personally that writing works best for me. other helpful practices can be: talk therapy, acceptance theory, yoga, meditation, hiking, camping, etc.

i also want to remind mutable signs: we change a lot. we have a lot of ideas. there's so much we want to do. we often feel like we have no path, no big goal; we can struggle with purpose as we don't often aspire for permanent things or "one big goal". this is NOT bad. there is nothing wrong with changing your feelings, your mind, your goals, your life path. you CAN do all the things you want to do! you have your entire life ahead of you! yes, you can learn all those languages. yes, you can have three different careers in your life. yes yes yes! don't listen to negativity from others. don't beat yourself up for not having one big goal like some people around you might. cherish and embrace all the things you want to achieve and complete (both big and small). learn to follow-through with and finish the things that matter to you (writing things down will really help with this, make action plans/steps - break everything down into smaller pieces). take the time to slow down and enjoy the moments as they come. you got this!

#like PLSSSS it is so important you all NEED to write/type your thoughts and feelings #talking abt them will make u feel amazing but writing them out will get them out of your brain #astrology #mutable #luna.txt #i love u mutables <3 #this post was so scattered and random and all over the place in true mutable fashion #but im not editing it because this is for the mutables anyway and yall will get my scattered-ness #mine

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lucy90712 · 7 months ago

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kinda sad but reader distancing herself from jude bc she’s pregnant and don’t know how to tell him and he’s really scared bc he thinks she’s gonna leave him

A/n: I had to give this a happy ending as I have far too much angst to write that I needed a pick me up

Do it. Just do it.

I have to keep telling myself those few words. In front of me sits a pregnancy test that I can't get myself to take as I don't want to know the answer. Jude and I have always been really careful as he doesn't want kids, I don't mind either way but because he doesn't want them we always try to be super safe. Despite that for the last few weeks I've just not felt right I've been feeling really nauseous and my period is now a week late which really only means one thing I just didn't want to believe it. As much as I know I'm almost definitely pregnant I don't want to take the test as that will confirm it and then I'll have to deal with the consequences.

How would I tell Jude? Would he leave me? Can I raise a baby on my own? All of those questions swirled round my brain as I still just stared at the test. Jude will definitely not be happy but if I am pregnant I don't want to get rid of the baby as I don't think I could handle all the emotions that come with that. If I don't get rid of the baby I can definitely see Jude breaking up with me which I understand he doesn't want kids and he's just starting out his career at Real Madrid he won't want a baby to look after so I'll probably be on my own in a city I don't know with no support.

It got to the point that all of the questions were starting to eat away at me so to forget about them I decided just to take the test. What no one tells you about taking a pregnancy test is that the few minute wait for the result feels like a century I swear I was pacing back and forth forever before the screen displayed the result. I chose to take a digital test as it would tell me how many weeks I was as that's something I wanted to know too but then I realised that knowing how far along I am will make it feel a whole lot more real. There was no surprise when I finally looked at the test and it said pregnant 4-5 weeks.

Finally seeing it confirmed made it impossible to hold back my tears any longer. Instinctively my hand went to my stomach as I thought about how in a few short months I will have a baby the baby that is currently growing inside me. The tears were a mix of happiness as somehow I was actually happy to know I was pregnant and anxiety as I have no idea what the future holds.

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been a month since I found out I was pregnant and I'm now 10 weeks along. A few weeks back I went for my first ultrasound and got to see the baby and make sure everything was ok which it was. Jude still doesn't know, I've tried to tell him so many times but I just can't do it I either chicken out or the moment just doesn't feel right. I know I need to tell him soon as I'm already starting to develop a small bump which will only get bigger and sometimes I think Jude gets a bit suspicious when I won't eat certain things I usually love as I know they will make me sick.

Over the past month I have definitely been a lot more distant with Jude which has meant he hasn't noticed when I've had really bad sickness days and that I have a small bump growing. It's hard hiding such a big secret from him which is part of why I've been so distant because I just want to tell him and for us to be a happy family but I know it won't go that way and I can't bare the thought of that. I love Jude so much and I don't want to ruin our relationship but I know at some point I'll have to tell him and deal with whatever heartbreak comes along with that.

No one apart from me knows about my pregnancy not even my parents or my friends I have kept it a complete secret. Today though I'm seeing my friends and I know they are getting a bit suspicious as when we go out I'm always tired and I don't drink anymore. We aren't doing much today just going for brunch so I got up after Jude left for training and went to where we were supposed to meet. Once everyone was there we went in and got a table and I lasted less than a minute before the smell of someone's food made me feel so nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom. My best friend joined me to make sure I was ok but I knew she wasn't convinced when I said I was fine.

"Are you ok?" The rest of the group asked

"Yeah I'm fine" I said

"What's going on girl you've been acting weird for a while now" my best friend said

"Ok you guys can't say anything to anyone but I'm pregnant I found out a month ago and I've been hiding it because Jude doesn't want kids and I don't know how to tell him" I admitted

None of them really knew what to say they all knew that Jude didn't want kids and a baby was never supposed to be part of our lives so they were as shocked as I was. After the initial shock they all started giving me advice and telling me everything would be fine. They all tried to reassure me that Jude wouldn't leave me when he found out but they did say I need to tell him at some point soon and I agree but it's hard to find the right words to say.

Once I got back home I just sat in silence thinking about life and how I got to this point. I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn’t hear the front door opening or Jude calling my name as he entered the house with increased panic when I didn’t reply. I only came back to reality when he was stood in front of me catching his breath after I nearly gave him a heart attack. There was a lot of staring at each other as I tried to find something to say while he tried to read me and work out what I was thinking.

“Love are you ok and before you tell me you’re fine I know you’re not you’ve been acting strange for a while and I just want to know what I can do to make things better” he said

Hearing him say that was too much for me I just burst into tears right in front of him. His arms made their way around me and he tried to calm me down but that didn’t help. This last month I’ve held back all of my emotions about this whole situation and now they are coming out all at once and I can’t hold them back any longer. I tried to tell him but the words couldn’t escape my mouth so instead I grabbed his hand and took him upstairs with me. I kept my pregnancy test and ultrasound pictures hidden away in my wardrobe so I found them and just placed them in Jude’s hands. This isn’t how I wanted to tell him but I think it’s the only way I can do it without having another breakdown.

“What is this?” He asked

“I’m pregnant” I said

“I’m sorry I know you don’t want kids and we are always careful I don’t know how it happened and I just I’m just sorry” I rambled

“Hey it’s ok calm down how long have you known?” He asked

“I’ve known for a month and I’m 10 weeks now” I said

“Wow we are going to be parents” he said hugging me tightly

“Wait you aren’t mad” I questioned

“No of course I’m not mad I’m actually really happy I know I said I didn’t want kids but more recently I started to change my mind especially seeing you with all the guys kids it made me want that with you I couldn’t be happier right now” he said

“So you aren’t going to leave me?” I asked

“Of course not I can’t wait to go through this whole journey with you I’m just sad I haven’t been there for you until now” he said

Hearing that was such a relief but not at all what I expected. I’ve always been told things happen for a reason and this is one of those things I guess. Naturally Jude had a lot of questions so I told him everything like everything I know about the baby and how I’ve been feeling as he wanted to know how I’ve been coping. It felt so good to finally tell him everything and he seemed so genuinely happy which allowed me to actually think about how excited I am too as that’s something I’ve pushed away until now.

After a long conversation we both went silent and just took a minute to take in what has just happened. As we sat there Jude’s hand made its way to my shirt which he lifted up slightly and just rested his hand on my tiny bump. I watched as the smile on his face got even bigger than it was before I could see him look at my almost non existent bump with so much love that it almost made me cry. This whole thing doesn’t seem anywhere near as scary now that I know Jude is here to support me and I already know he’s going to be the best dad if he loves our baby this much already.

#jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham imagines #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #football imagine

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cherry-burst · 2 months ago

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Rafayel x F!MC "First Time For Everything."

Love and Deepspace

WC: ~3k

She was lying naked on her stomach atop the bed. A pillow was under her hips, elevating her ass off the bed into the air.

Rafayel pulled out several toys he’d collected for this very occasion along with a bottle of lubricant. He lined them up by size next to her legs and kept rubbing his hand over her thighs, tracing aimlessly as he got organized. A content smile was on his face as he hummed a gentle tune.

She looks back at her boyfriend. “That’s a lot of plugs…”

Her nervousness was made clear well before all of this started. Rafayel promised to stop anytime for any reason, no questions asked if she wanted him to. But, he was adamant that she was going to thoroughly enjoy this. Almost as if he knew something she didn't.

“Well, I may have gone a bit overboard. Some of them are just for pleasure and not really prepping. We won't use them all ” He picked two up and compared them, the lamp light glittering in his blue-fiery eyes. “This one,” He lifted a tapered egg-shaped plug. “It's more for stretching, and, well it is also pleasurable.” He smiled. His cheeks were already pink and the tips of his ears were glowing red. “This one,” He lifted the other. It was tapered and longer with three bulges. “This is a bit more for pleasure. I probably won't use all of them.” He raked his hand in his hair, visibly excited.

He leaned over her body and pressed a kiss to her shoulder blade. They were both fully nude already and their lips were puffed from the make-out session they’d had that led them to this idea for the night.

“Well,” She said in a sing-song voice, wiggling her hips a little. Rafayel’s gaze shot to her ass region in an instant. She smiled at the effect this was already having on him. “I’m ready when you are.” She finished.

He cleared his throat. “We will take it slow.” He reassured her, “We go at your pace, Cutie.”

The opening crack of the lube bottle’s lid gave her heart a squeeze. She was nervous before, but the adrenaline was starting to kick in.

His lubed finger slid over her slit up to her ass. He rubbed in a slow circular motion on her hole, carefully exploring this previously untouched part if her. It felt a bit chilly on her skin but warmed very quickly with his constant friction.

Her eyes fall shut and she relaxes into the bed. “Mm, no one has ever touched me there before, so-.” She lets out a soft laugh. “It’s a bit… interesting.”

“I really like touching you there…” Rafayel spoke in a low voice. All his earlier playfulness was quickly dissipating. She wondered exactly how long he’d fantasized about this before he casually brought the idea up to her a few months ago.

He’d brought this up to her more times than she could count during the course of the last few weeks. At first, he was joking about doing it, but then it quickly turned serious and she could see the look of desire in his eyes grow each time he mentioned it.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want it. It just felt a bit too taboo to her and made her nervous to try something out of the box. But, she trusted her boyfriend. Plus, the way his face lit up when she agreed to it made her more happy than she dared to admit. He was always going out of his way to please her, it was time she relished in one of his fantasies as a reward.

He was already obsessed with touching her ass and keeping his hand on it when he could get away with it. She knew he was a bit obsessed with her body at this point and very much loved the effect it had on him.

Rafayel's finger oh-so gently pressed inside her and she tensed back up. She took several deep, calming breaths like they’d discussed and tried to get herself to let go. The digit went deeper and she took in a sharp breath.

“Whew…” she breathed. The lube made it easy for his finger to intrude as quickly as it did. She jerked her hips when he moved his digit in and out, slow and rhythmic.

“You’re doing so well, just relax.” He rubbed her thigh comfortingly. “You will get used to the sensation after a bit.” He reassured her. She felt his warm lips kiss her lower back, trailing over the curve of her ass while his finger did the work.

She blushed when he started to play more. He moved his finger all the way in, twisting and pulling out. He dripped more lube into the valley of her ass as he did this, getting her insides nice and coated.

Rafayel was between her legs while her ass was propped up with a pillow in the air like some kind of art piece on a pedestal. Her legs were spread to accommodate his width and he could see everything from his viewpoint.

“It’s a bit… humiliating.” She tries to joke but her breath hitches when a second finger presses against her hole.

“It’s just us. No need to feel embarrassed.” He kissed her inner thigh and slowly added the second finger. Her body accepted it, stretching to accommodate the intrusion.

His free hand moved up her waist and down to her knee. He caressed her skin as he eased his fingers in and out of her. It helped ease the tension in her body and reassured her that everything was okay.

“Do you have to watch like that?” She asks breathlessly.

“Yep.” He sent her a smirk when she looked back at him.

The intrusion didn’t feel normal for a while. It was nice, just strange. She could feel how relaxed her hole was getting and whimpered when he removed his fingers.

“Shh, shh,” He was grinning. “I’m just getting a toy now, okay? I’ll put something inside you again, don’t worry.” As he spoke, his voice lowered to a sultry whisper. He pat her thigh reassuringly, teasing her with a wink. His delight was obvious that she was enjoying herself too.

She buried her face in the pillow to hide her blush. Was she really starting to crave the sensation?

A blunt object pressed against her asshole and she tensed. It was covered in cold lube.

“Relax, Cutie.” He soothed.

She relaxed and squeaked when he pressed harder.

Rafayel sighed, squeezing her ass cheek with his free hand. “I’ll take it slow. Let me know if you need to stop.”

It took a few minutes of him slowly pushing, but soon she was shuddering as the plug fit snugly all the way inside.

“Mm,” Rafayel let go of the toy and let it sit inside her. He grabbed her cheeks and squeezed, spreading them wider, pushing them up, and kneading them. “How does it feel?”

She looked back and happened to notice just how hard he was getting.

“Feels fine, it's good. I’m comfortable.”

He nodded, working hard to fix a smile on his lust-filled face. “I’m going to move it a bit now.”

She nodded and felt him start to pull on the plug. He pulled just enough to take it out halfway before pushing it back in.

“Woah-” She gasped.

“Good, bad? Need a break?” He stood still.

“Good! It's fine. It just feels so interesting. I’m kind of liking it.” She sends him a small smile.

Rafayel’s face lights up as he starts to tug on the plug again. He doesn’t remove it all the way and keeps pulling and pushing it back into her.

She felt quite stretched at this point and told him so. “I think I'm ready for the next size up.”

“I was about to say, I think you’re ready for a bigger one.” He agrees and slips the plug out. He sets it off in another pile away from the unused ones and looks at his row of choices.

He seems to be thinking for a long moment and his girlfriend pipes up. “Everything okay?

Rafayel gave her a smile. “Yeah! I was just thinking. It’s just that you’re doing so well. I was thinking of skipping the medium and going up to a larger one. Would you want to try?”

She trusted that he knew what he was doing, and also that he knew her body well. “I will try. I feel very ready.” She answered.

Rafayel swallows thickly at her words. This was most definitely getting him worked up. He gets the larger plug, saturates it in extra lube then presses the tapered tip to her hole.

“We’re going slow, okay? Tell me the second anything hurts and I’ll stop.” He reassures her, touching her leg lovingly.

“Understood.” She agrees.

She takes the plug slowly. It stretches her deliciously and she clenches her eyes shut. Okay, now it was starting to feel good.

Rafayel is breathless as her hole accepts the larger plug so readily.

She notices him give his cock a few pumps while she stretches much farther than ever before.

She whimpers as the plug gets to the largest part, breathing through the stretching with her hands digging into the bedsheets.

Rafayel bites her thigh, kissing along the skin up to her cheek. He bites her ass cheek and groans when her hole finally sucks in the last bit of the plug.

“Ah-, Woah…” She moans, her clammy forehead pressing into the mattress.

Rafayel squeezes her cheeks and leans in, kissing around the plug buried in her ass.

She moans at all the sensations, rubbing her chest into the bed and arching into his touch.

His tongue runs all along the rim eagerly. He pulls at the plug and then pushes it back in, keeping his mouth on her at the same time.

“Rafayel!” She moans breathlessly. Little tremors of pleasure skittled through her body.

His tongue slides all around, his saliva lubing the plug even more. She can’t help the shameless whimper that escapes her.

He pulls the plug out and pushes it back in, over and over while MC mewls and twitches below. When she easily takes the toy with no resistance, Rafayel removes it and tosses it in the ‘used’ pile.

“The next size up is my cock,” He breathes heavily, his voice dipping low. “Do you want that? Do you want me?” His hands dig into her thighs.

“Yes. I want you. Please,” She begs, looking back at him as he adds lube to his cock. "I'm ready."

He strokes himself, eyes glued to her ass. Lube is dripped along his length and he pumps his fist to spread it around. He braces one hand on the mattress and lines himself up. He then folds himself over her body, pressing his chest to her back, arms on either side of her face, caging her in.

“I’m going to stay still, and I want you to push back into me at your own pace, okay? Can you do that for me?” He moves her hair to one side and plants sweet kisses along her shoulder.

She nods eagerly and pushes her hips back. He adjusts himself so he’s perfectly angled at her asshole then cages her in again. “Slowly, Cutie.” He reminds her with a whisper in her ear.

She goes slow, moving back against the blunt tip of his cock. She feels it stretch her as she presses harder.

“Mm, that's it. Take your time.” He encourages her, his lips still seeking to press against every inch of her skin he can reach.

She does, pressing slowly as moments pass. Finally, the thick head of his cock pops passed the tight ring of her ass and they both gasp.

“Yes!” She takes a breather. “Oh. The stretch feels so good.” She whimpers.

“Fuck.” He pants. “Yes. You’re doing amazing. Keep going.” He praises her, nipping at her shoulder with gentle bites. The way his voice gets deeper when he's in a heated state sends butterflies fluttering around her stomach walls.

Neither of them expected to get this far tonight. The training was supposed to be a build-up over the course of the weekend, but he’d made her feel so relaxed and took his time, her body acclimated very quickly.

Rafayel panted as she started pressing back again, taking more of him.

“Take it, Cutie. Take me all the way.” Rafayel moaned, losing himself in the moment. He always got chatty when things heated up. “I’ll make you feel so good,” His lips trailed over her shoulder along the back of her neck.

She trembles as she dares to take in more of him. Her knees quake as she slowly presses back into his hips. The sensation was strange but oh-so-good. The more his cock stretched her, the more she wanted.

She moans louder and Rafayel starts breathing heavier. His fists shake as he holds his body weight up above her.

“Take more, take more of me. Go slower if you need to. I won’t move.” He promised, breathing harshly into the back of her hair.

The sensation of his cock sliding into her felt never-ending.

“Oh! It feels so deep.” She catches her breath for a moment.

“I’m not even halfway,” He kisses her neck and ear. “All the toys were short just to help prepare you for penetration. Is this okay?”

“Yes, Rafayel. ” She allows her body to acclimate for a moment more before pressing back again to take more of his cock inside her.

His chest presses down on her back and she can see just how much he's stopping himself from thrusting all the way to the hilt. His heart beats wildly against her back while his breathy moans continuously met her ears.

They both groan the farther in he was. Finally, fucking, finally, his hips press directly against her ass. He was all the way buried inside her.

“I need a minute,” Rafayel drops his head into the crook of her shoulder, breathing deeply.

“It feels… feels a bit violating.” She lets out a small breathy laugh.

Rafayel inhales deeply “In a good way?”

“Oh, yes.” She reassures him, rocking slightly to tease him.

“I’ve been wanting to 'violate' you for a while now.” He lets out a breathy chuckle and so does she.

She pushes back a bit, trying to encourage him to move.

“Ah, fu-” He groans.

“You’re so deep,” She moans, gripping the sheets. “I feel so full.” She adds quietly.

“Say that again. Tell me again,” Rafayel pleads, forehead pressing into the back of her head.

“I feel so full, Rafayel. You’re so big…”

Rafayel lets out a burst of air, tickling the skin on her neck.

“Mm, and I’m going to keep filling you up, nice and deep, over and over again.” His voice is sinfully low. “Do you want that? Hm? Tell me,”

“Yes! I want you to keep filling me up,”

He groans and adjusts his position minutely. “Ready for me to move?” He scrapes his teeth over a sensitive spot on her neck.

“Yes, start moving a little bit,” She braces herself for the foreign feeling.

“Let’s see how well you take me,” He whispers in her ear and kisses it before he gently moves.

He rocks his hips slowly, filling her to the brink before pulling out again.

“Mmm!” She yanks on the blanket.

“You’re doing so well,” He thrusts a bit faster when she doesn’t protest.

She moans and sucks in breaths. “I’m going to fall apart, fuck…”

“I’m just getting started,” He uncurls himself from her and sits back on his knees between her legs. He lets out a moan at the sight of his cock in her ass and starts fucking her faster.

The absence of his body heat makes the air in the room feel cold on her back. She shivers as she whimpers little cries of pleasure. “So full…”

“Yes,” Rafayel drives his cock home, again and again. “Your ass takes my cock so well,” A quiet ‘fuck’ falls from his lips.

“Ha- Rafayel…” She pants as he goes faster, fucking her at his normal stride.

Rafayel’s hands grip her ass. He sits back and spreads her cheeks, watching himself fuck into her. “This is incredible.” He moans.

“That angle! Yes!” She desperately pleads.

“I never want this to stop,” He huffs as he fucks her at the angle she requested. “You like this angle? Is it pressing against all the right spots?”

She found her center of gravity again and started pushing back into each of his thrusts. The angle he was hitting her at made her feel all kinds of good things inside.

“It is, Yes! Oh, don’t stop,” They find a matching rhythm and speed up together.

He squeezed one of her ass cheeks, gripping and pulling her with each thrust.

“This is better than my fantasy,” He let out a breathless chuckle.

Her neglected pussy was slick with desire. Rafayel reached around and rubbed her little clit in circular motions.

She was yelling out ‘yes’ and ‘more’ as he touched her intimately.

He used his other hand to squeeze her ass again and then she was falling, flying, shaking under him. Her orgasm hit her like a bus.

“That feels good,” Rafayel commented on how her walls squeezed his cock as she came.

As her orgasm ended, she started to squirm and whimper. He removed his finger from her pussy and went back to chasing his own release.

His hands gripped onto her ass cheeks, thrusting faster and faster. His knees dug into the bed and each thrust sent her body jolting forward. The pillow below her hips got pushed and pulled so much it basically became useless.

“Ha-” Rafayel moans louder the closer he gets. “I’m close,” He alerts her.

“I want it!” She mewls into the bed. “Cum inside me, please” She begs him.

“Fuck…” His hips studders. “Tell me again!” He demands as he huffs air.

“Please cum inside me, please, please, please.”

Rafayel thrusts into her deep one last time and his cock throbs hard as his eyes clench shut.

He curls back down on top of her against her back, keeping their bodies locked. His moans fill her ears as his body pulses with pleasure.

His chest is much warmer now against her back, sticky from sweat, but so comforting. His familiar musk fills her nose and her whole body relaxes in his embrace.

“Just gonna…” Rafayel kisses her neck lazily. “...stay inside you until I get hard again.”

She let out a breathless laugh and Rafayel cracked a smile.

“I have a feeling you’re going to want to do this more often.” She spoke quietly between them, resting her cheek on the bed and looking up at him.

“You bet,” He reached out and cupped her face in his hand. “If you’re up for it.”

They relaxed like that, catching their breath and having some pillow talk before Rafayel’s body inevitably reset for round two.

#rafayel smut #love and deepspace rafayel #love and deepspace #rafayel love and deepspace #lads rafayel #rafayel x reader #rafayel x you #lnds rafayel #rafayel #rafayel x mc

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lorisidirgiichi2002 · 4 months ago

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TADC - Anxiety/Autistic Reader Headcanons.

Gender-Neutral Pronouns Friendship levelled relationships.

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For Pomni, she is just as anxious as you, though while she has started to cope with it a lot better for a few months, she can relate to wanting to escape and get out of the circus just as much. The first few interactions are awkward, but after hanging out with them, and you understand her scenario, you both grow to relatable friends and might look for the exit together while trying to go with the flow of the adventures and curious to hear about her adventures, though won't reveal some Out of Bounds secrets early on so you don't recklessly go looking for it fearing of being Abstracted.

Since Ragatha offered a hand to you, you saw Ragatha as a sort of mother figure, if not that, a really good person to go towards for advice or comfort away from the chaotic scenarios that happen in the Circus. While you have confirmed that you mostly rather be left alone to do your favourite activities, you'd start to panic if anything happens to your close friends, especially to Ragatha and she'd respect your space and boundaries the most, even in a bad mood. If there's something the others don't understand about you, you tell them to Ragatha and passes it on towards others, though might raise a eyebrow on Jax knowing him.

Depending on the type of person you are, you either going to relate to Jax or you're going to hate him. Jax is a snarky jackass that would purposely lead you into danger or screw you over or pull pranks. You'd rightfully call him out and would lose your cool towards him, though if you manage to catch some rare instances that he's depressed or in a low mood, you might be able to strike a conversation with him when the mood is calmer, though he tries to hide it. Jax when the façade breaks would probably speak his frustrations about this place and you'd understand his feelings and probably wanted to hang out with him if the adventures started to get boring and stale and cause a tiny bit of trouble. (Not too much to his extent.) Though you know it doesn't excuse the few times he pranked you and left you panicking and overwhelmed and messing with your pattern and routine with dealing with the Digital Circus.

Gangle is probably a member of the Digital Circus that you'd would probably feel the most empathy for and relates to being the joke of the group. Gangle is the most fragile and emotional of the group and to see someone step up and be there for them would be a mood bringer. You'd would be the most apologetic if you ever broke their comedy mask and would help out in repairing it and probably talk about your hyperfixations and some funny stories to try and cheer Gangle up. Though depending with your relationship with Jax, you'd 100% protect Gangle like their life depends on it, because that's not what friends are for being bullies to each other or respectfully tell him to stop.

Kinger is something that is absolutely hard to crack and understand personality wise and difficult. Being the most paranoid and unpredictable member of the group, you could see themselves as Kinger if Ragatha didn't come to your aid and had to adapt without help. You'd probably be scared about Kinger's absent minded and slow reactions to your presence and be scared of them screaming or wielding a shotgun, though tried to calm him down and be there for them regardless of how you feel about him. Depending on the episode canon by the time of writing this (30th September 2024), it is unknown if Kinger would ever talk about Queenie or even mention about her towards you.

Zooble is the most rude and irritable member of the group, while she might be off to do her own thing and not partake in adventures with a soft side to newcomers, I believe that Zooble might be a member that might take a long time to bond with, but maybe an alternative to Jax and wants to let off some steam if Ragatha isn't available and just say a bunch of censored swears. Though you might feel a bit sad if Zooble told you to !#@? off or insulting you and gives them space. Zooble might believe that next to Kinger, you might be the next member to be abstracted knowing how you're coping with living here, just to break out their persona would try to understand and help you.

Caine is definitely the most uneasy member to hang out with, being the know it all and so forth running the circus. You might call to him to ask any questions or any rules and logic you need to understand living in the digital circus and write it down in notes, though might use that information to Pomni for understanding and finding a way out. While Caine is generally cheerful and willing to help you, you can't help but sense there's something uncanny about him outside of his strange appearance. Just the understanding of the concept of Abstraction sends shivers down your spine despite him telling you not to worry about it too much and motivates you to leave even more. Bubble appearing out of nowhere would startle you and probably pop them without Caine's permission via instinct and habit if they kept interrupting you.

What do you guys think? Was there some things you'd change? Do you want to see a S/O sequel to this? Let me know in the comments below.

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #gangle x reader #zooble x reader #kinger x reader #autistic reader

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gamesetart · 7 months ago

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hngnngngnng sweet and easy universe……

need Pat to fuck you and tease you about how he knows you’re thinking about Art even while Patrick is stuffed deep inside your little pussy. He’s so mean, teasing about how Art isn’t going to be as deep as he is, he’s not going to know what the fuck to do with pussy this tight, this wet, this sweet.

It’s adorable that you don’t even care that Art’s not going to fuck you better than Patrick can. You’re in love with each other. But Patrick doesn’t have to love you to make you feel good, he just has to love your pussy <3

Well yes! 😁🫶

well. yes. (again, had to break the laptop out for this ur so yummy)

"a terrible sweetness" (a patrick interlude)

tags: patrick zweig x fem reader, p in v, mild daddy kink, implied patrick zweig x art donaldson, implied art donaldson x fem reader. nsfw. minors DNI.

You didn't ever mean to fuck him more than once. Patrick was supposed to be a hookup, a momentary balm to soothe your seemingly insatiable need. He's a frat party fever dream, a fantasy through amber-coloured glass. And he's a saved contact on your phone and a text message at one in the morning:

patrick (frat) 1:47 am

in town, wyd?

So you start to fuck him a little more regularly. With Art's permission, of course, you're a lot of things, but you're not a cheater, for fucks' sakes. It's weird for Art, grabbing lunch with Patrick knowing he's been inside Art's girlfriend, and probably will again before his weekend visit is over. But he almost likes it. Because that's his Patrick and his girl. You've managed to inextricably connect two of the most important people to him, and by having both Tashi and her boyfriend, you've tied the final knot. The four of you, all tied together because you can't keep your pretty hands to yourself.

"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" Patrick taunts, scissoring his fingers open inside you.

Some days, he doesn't bother with much prep - the tight feeling of him bullying inside you, your walls struggling to accommodate the sheer size of him, is dizzyingly addictive - but there are nights where it's like he can read your mind, and he finds sick satisfaction in drawing things out so he can tease you. About Art, his Art, his sweet Artie, your lovely, doting, idiot boyfriend, who, for all the goodness in the world, wouldn't ever be able to fuck you like Patrick does.

And he likes knowing he's caused all of this. Patrick knows Art better than Art knows himself. Fucking you is like fucking a part of Art by proxy, and the fact that you're both thinking about him is almost laughable.

"I'm always thinking about him," you return, balling your hands up in your sheets.

He's got you splayed out on your bed, his body between your spread legs, his hand reaching between your bodies to fuck in and out of you with two quick, strong fingers. Patrick's head is right above yours - you could have kissed him, if you wanted. But that's not really what he's for, sweet presses of lips while you 'make love'. Patrick is for the clash of teeth and tongues while you fuck. His eyes are impossibly beautiful, bluish green, the pupils ringed with a sunburst of hazel and gold.

"So am I," Patrick spits back, and it makes you clench around him, hearing confirmation of that single unifying detail, the single nexus between the two of you.

Art.

"But he can't fuck you like I can," Patrick continues roughly.

He pulls his fingers from you, much to your disappointment. (And excitement: not cumming on Patrick's hands just means you'll cum more around his cock.) He brings the slick, shiny digits to your lips, smiling roughly at you.

"Clean that off for me, will ya, doll?"

Patrick likes that he can treat you in a way he can't treat Tashi. She's a lot of things, but she won't let him degrade her. Not the way he degrades you; he's using you as much as you're using him, and he won't let you forget it. He likes that when he holds his fingers up to your mouth you suck them willingly into your mouth and swirl your tongue around him to really make sure you're licked all of yourself off him, likes that you seem genuinely disappointed when he takes them away. Like a dog losing it's favourite toy.

He lines himself up, dragging his cock meaning up and down your slit. Kisses it against your clit, slaps it there for good measure. You moan, eyes fluttering shut, rolling back in your skull. Patrick knows what he's doing, always does. Patrick knows how to fuck. Patrick knows how to make you feel so, so good.

His palm slaps across your face, not very hard, just as a reminder. The crack of skin forces your eyes back onto his smug face.

"No, no, keep your fucking eyes open," he goads. "I want you to look at me, and think about him, when I fuck you."

It's with that promise that Patrick finally spears himself in you, all at once, bottoming out in one rough, steady thrust. It takes everything in you to keep your eyes open as you all but scream, walls stretching to take him, clenching around his cock when he finally lands home. He gives you no time to adjust, though, pulling out again, almost all the way, and slamming back in.

"He couldn't fuck you like, this could he?" Patrick groans. His eyes are half-lidded and his pupils are blown so wide they look black. Lust. That's all this is. That's how you like it.

"N-no," you gasp, rolling your hips up to meet him. "Not like this, fuck, you feel so good."

"Yeah, I do," Patrick says, dragging a hand down your body to palm at your tits, rolling one nipple between his fingers.

The thing about Patrick is he fucks you like he doesn't care about you. Which, to an extent, he does, you're dating his best friend and you've slept with his girlfriend and you're actually really funny and smart and interesting so he can see why Art likes you, but Patrick isn't in love with you. You both know it.

"So good, so fuckin' good, god, you fuck me so good, you're so big," you chant helpfully.

His hips move with a fluidity that is almost mesmerising - strong, fast, powerful. He's a hurricane. You can't bend Nature to your will, but if you're very clever, you can learn how to move with it, to learn to ride the waves, match the tide. That's what you have with Patrick. Organised Chaos.

"He wouldn't know what to do with all of this," he pants. "And when he does fuck you, you're gonna miss me. Because no one's gonna fuck you as deep, no one's gonna take care of this sweet little princess pussy like I do."

The idea of that gets you both going. For Patrick, it's the idea of Art's sweet, blushing face, his fumbling hands, his shaky moans, moans Patrick's become too familiar with at the Academy, the late nights when Art thinks no one can hear. But Patrick can. Patrick always can. For you, it's the idea of the tables turning. It's the horrible, taboo idea of Art finally, finally fucking you, and getting a reminder of Patrick. You can practically see him in your head, the expression he had when he was fucking himself into your sheets.

You know Patrick's right, and it hardly matters. You're in love with Art, not Patrick. One of these days, you'll probably marry him, (he's won you over to the idea, honestly, the whole kids and a house life. With Art, the idea becomes sweet.) and you'll have a gorgeous wedding and his ring on your finger. You're not going to marry Patrick, he's not for that. He's for this. For the now - college dorms and too much beer, texts too late at night or too early in the morning. So you tell him.

"Yes, yes, fuck, you're so good," you whine, and every word comes out shaky and fucked. "No one's ever fucked me so good, only you, Patrick, only your cock, god."

"Yeah, that's it, baby, tell me how good I fuck you," Patrick moans. "Tell me how well I cuck your fucking boyfriend."

That's it. That's all it takes for you to cum around him, because it's gross, and it's a fucked-up thing to say, and it's so mean, and you're trying to picture Art saying something like this to you, doing something like this to you, and you can't. Patrick fucking laughs when you clench around him, shaking. But he doesn't stop. He fucks you straight through it, and then he just keeps going. It's unfair, the fact that he has the stamina of a fucking race horse when he wants it. You've had nights where you've cum four times before he's cum at all, and by the end of it you're only half there.

You don't really have words, but you try. What comes out is a broken, "Patrick-- fuck, Art-- can't-- fuck."

"I bet he wants to put a baby in you," Patrick teases, slamming in and out like he wants to break you. "Bet he wants you to make him a daddy."

He's starting to think maybe he's thinking of Art while he fucks you, too. Keeps seeing images of Art in his head - Art writhing under him, Art begging for him, Art's voice, not yours, chanting, "fuck, yes, daddy, daddy, fuck!"

Patrick slips one hand down to play with your clit. It makes you sob, voice climbing another octave. Your whole floor probably hates you. Your RA probably hates you. Your neighbours definitely hate you, and maybe they hate him too. They're probably all jealous.

"Come on, doll, you've got another one. Cum on my cock. Pretends it's Art's."

He's kind of pretending your cunt is Art's ass, so you'll at least be even. You sob, legs shaking, hands fisting in the sheets so hard they might rip. It's good, so good, too good. Your entire body is on fire. You're clenching around him, and it's like every thrust drives his cock right up into your cervix.

You gush around him right as he fills you up. You're on the pill, of course, but for a moment you pretend you aren't, pretend it's Art emptying his balls into you, filling you up, pretend you're making Art a daddy. It's a nice thought.

You're never going to marry Patrick Zweig. It's probably why he fucks you so well.

#i got a little carried away again #but hey it is what it is patricks just sort of insane <3 #patrick zweig x reader #patrick zweig x fem!reader #challengers smut #patrick zweig smut #open relationship au #catchat!#innercircles #kit.writes

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ozzaban · 4 months ago

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TADC theory: Pomni is Steven Universe

...I mean, Pomni is the Digital Circus's Steven, as in:

Someone "new" to a world that cames to help those struggling with traumas and mental health.

First of all, I'm not saying they are the same kind of character—they're VERY different. Pomni is reserved, logical, critic and a bit selfish, while Steven is bubbly, social, naive and usually puts others first. But they do have something in common: both are kind and empathetic.

Pomni has already helped Gummigoo, and looking at the Ep. 3 trailer it appears that she'll help Kinger too. Pomni will probably help each character, allowing us to learn more about them alongside her. Though a huge difference here is that she won't be EVERYWHERE like Steven is.

One interesting point is that while Steven goes out of his way to help others, for now Pomni seems to only try to stop and help someone if she really needs to. She appeared reluctant before reaching out to Gummigoo, but did it because she needed his help to leave that place.

So one of Pomni's roles as the protagonist might be that of a ""therapist"" who also becomes more open to others, especially in the character-focused episodes. It would be interesting if everything escalates and she ends up really messed up later on, like what happened to Steven.

I kinda like the idea, but depends A LOT on how it'd be executed.

Also keep in mind SU is a generally positive series with a lot of uplifting messages regarding serious real life stuff. I'm not sure yet if that's the case with TADC, so I'm really curious about where it's going.

#the amazing digital circus #steven universe #pomni #tadc #tadc pomni

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cripplecharacters · 1 month ago

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Can people with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome or joint hypermobility do martial arts?

Hey!

As for the EDS part, it will depend on the specific type. There's 13 of them, and a lot of them will have hypermobility as a symptom, but many will also have unrelated symptoms that will make someone unable (or less able) to do that kind of activity. EDS=/=hEDS.

To literally go type by type;

aEDS can come with both low muscle tone and motor delay.

BCS actually only has hypermobility as a potential factor since people who are blind and/or deaf can very much do martial arts.

cvEDS comes with cardiac problems; I won't pretend like a know a whole lot about this one (because I don't), but this generally means fatigue, shortness of breath, etc., which will disqualify a lot of people from martial arts.

cEDS doesn't have any of the issues mentioned above, instead even minor traumas can result in atrophic scarring here. If they did martial arts they would have a lot of that I assume.

clEDS, hEDS, pEDS just have the joint hypermobility and/or instability (as far as the relevant symptoms go) to my understanding.

dEDS mostly has the extreme skin fragility, but also heavily increased risk of hemorrhages, shorter limbs (which you can do martial arts with, but you're definitely at a disadvantage), potential motor delay, etc.

kEDS is similar to aEDS in that it comes with both motor delay and low muscle tone, but it also has increased risk of arterial tears and aneurysyms which is almost definitely a "no" for contact sports.

mcEDS comes with contractures (as the c in the name implies), muscle weakness (as the m in the name implies), motor delay (not all people with mcEDS will be able to walk independently for example), etc.

mEDS has the m for myopathy, but it can also cause contractures, muscle atrophy, motor delay, joint instability, etc.

spEDS can come with so many things - low muscle tone, contractures, limited arm rotation, motor delay, bones that fracture more easily, etc.

vEDS is probably the one least likely to allow a person to do martial arts since the aneurysm/rupture/dissection risk would be through the roof. That can kill someone very, very fast. There are more symptoms of course, but this alone probably makes the answer a "no".

There are also other conditions that come with hypermobility that aren't anywhere on the EDS spectrum and there it will be on a case-by-case basis as well. People with Marfan syndrome will have cardiovascular problems and might be unable to do that kind of stuff, while someone with a different disorder might have no issues at all.

Obviously there is also the topic of chronic pain that a lot of people with hypermobility-associated conditions have (not so much hypermobility alone). For some people the amount of pain they're in will make them unable to do martial arts, for some it won't be an issue. It's very personal. The same goes for fatigue; it can present very widely between people with the same disorder.

It does also depend on where the person's hypermobility is. I can't really imagine that someone with craniocervical instability would do wrestling (I could be wrong, of course) while someone who's "only" dislocating their digits could probably do every martial art that's out there since despite being painful it probably won't kill them. Not everyone has hypermobility that affects literally every joint in their body.

Not every person with hypermobility will also be dislocating their joints (or only specific ones, for example), but the effects of dislocations also depends on the person. Some people just fix it themselves on the go and move on like it's no big deal, others need professional medical help. Here it also kinda matters what kind of martial art you mean - in regulated fights, if someone does dislocate something, the fight stops until the problem is fixed. In street fights, it obviously doesn't.

So I guess the answer is: maybe? IDK? It depends on what your character actually has. If they only have hypermobility (that's not in the neck), they probably can do whatever - and if they have vEDS they probably shouldn't.

Hope this helps,

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #anonymous #ehlers danlos syndrome representation #parasports in media

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