#i probably went in a direction you didn't intend but it's really interesting

[daytaker]

What are your thoughts on the OM! Brothers with a Christian s/o? They don't openly say it, but Simon and Luke know because they are super faithful? And they wear a cross necklace?

That's a really interesting question actually. I'd be most curious about what's going on in the significant other's head, because all they'll learn about the Devildom and the Celestial Realm and demons and angels will probably make it extremely difficult for that person to maintain their faith in the same way that they did before.

In particular, if they have accepted a demon enough to actually become his partner, then they must not view demons the same way that they did before.

Actually, even beyond their relationship with a demon, I'd be REALLY interested in their interactions with angels. The kinds of questions they'd ask, the sort of crisis of faith it would stir up, all the inconsistencies between biblical scripture and the reality they're experiencing.

For reasons that are pretty obvious, the game makers haven't touched the concept of Jesus with a ten foot pole, but our hypothetical Christian sure would. What about that guy? Didn't he die to save us from original sin?

And depending on the answers they get to that question, they may or may not be able to continue identifying as a Christian.

I'm assuming that they have spent enough time in the Devildom around the brothers and angels that they don't doubt the legitimacy of either party. The only way I can imagine them getting past the sheer cognitive dissonance of having a faith that conflicts with their reality would be if they thought the angels weren't actually angels. Whatever they are, they're not from heaven, they don't have any information on the big guy upstairs; they're telling lies and trying to deceive them.

I'm really invested in this question now. How does a Christian fall in love with a demon, enter an actual relationship with said demon, and reconcile all that with a faith that is centered on the dichotomy of good and evil as two forces in perpetual opposition? They simply couldn't continue identifying as Christian, could they? Especially if they're dating someone who was literally kicked out of Heaven by God.

[writingquestionsanswered]

how does one cope when mid-way through they realize they are writing a tragedy and there is no possibility of a happy ending? especially when that was not the original intention? i'm absolutely gutted by this realization and i hate that i feel wedded to it.

Upset Because Story Went Off the Rails

You're a Writer, Not a Marionette - Long ago, I bought into the believe that characters and stories have minds of their own... that it was beyond my control if my character did X when I wanted them to do Y... that there was nothing I could do if my happy meet-cute story decided to be a dark tale of horror. It can be kind of fun (and freeing, honestly) to believe we're just helpless vessels through which some greater storytelling force speaks, but that's not the case at all. There's no magical entity pulling the strings beyond your control. If your character does X and you wanted them to do Y, you did that, not your character. If your happy meet-cute turns into a tragic horror, you did that, not your story. You're the writer, and you're in control of everything that does or does not happen in your story.

Does It Make the Story Better? - Human brains are incredible things, and sometimes when your character does X when you intended for them to do Y, it's because some part of your brain realizes that's the better choice. Maybe it's more believable or more natural. Maybe it just works better with what you're laying out. Maybe it's just more interesting. So, the trick is to look at the unintended thing that happened and ask yourself if it makes the story better. Make a list of pros and cons... what are the ways the story is better if you stick with X rather than Y. What are the ways it's worse? Ultimately, if the change truly makes the story better, it's worth following through.

Beware of Story Parasites - Parasites are organisms that invade and thrive inside a host organism, at the host organism's expense. When you're writing your WIP and it takes a massive shift in tone, genre, or direction, sometimes that's because a whole new story idea has bullied its way into this one and is now feeding off this story to survive. If the unintended thing doesn't make the story better and leaves you feeling upset about the direction things are heading, you've probably got a story parasite. In which case, the best thing you can do is write the idea down as generally as possible, and set it aside to work on another time. Treating this invasive idea as something distinct from your WIP can help you move on and keep your story on its intended path.

What To Do When the Change Has to Stay - Very rarely, you may find that story's original direction just isn't working, and that this new (and vastly different) direction makes for a much better story. In that case--if you're absolutely certain this is the right path--it's worth making a list of all the reasons this idea will be better. Try to imagine what the story will be like if you stick with the original plan, versus if you make the drastic change. Can you think of anything that excites you about this new idea? Can you find reassurance in the many ways that this story shines versus the original idea?

Ultimately, It's Up to You - If your story takes an unexpected and upsetting turn, and you're certain it's the superior course, and that there's no point in pursuing the story's original path instead, it's worth really taking a look at why it's so upsetting if it's the right thing to do. If you're disappointed that your original plan didn't work out, spend some time trying to figure out how to make the original plan work better than the new idea. If you're upset because this idea is too personal or triggering, set it aside and see if you can come back to it later. You're not obligated to keep working on a story if it shifts in a direction that makes you unhappy or uncomfortable. You can set it aside or figure out a way to keep it in your comfort zone.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[shini--chan]

Hello there! Can I request a yandere light yagami blackmailing a smart classmate into working as assistance in his ministration and falling for her or a yandere karasuma falling for a normal female teacher of class E? Thank you and have a good day regardless!

Of course you may, and both ideas will be addressed. 

Yandere Light Yagami - The Tree of Insight

What a wondrous day it had been, thinking that you had gone mad. The worst part of it was that that monster had taken the greatest pleasure in taunting, floating above you and quipping and giggling the longer the hours drew by. Not even covering your ears had blocked out the rasping voice, as it had mused that you were awfully particular for a mortal. 

When you got back home, you would go through your family's medical records to see if schizophrenia infected one of the branches - that might explain the hallucinations then.

Ryuk, or that was at least what he called himself, bobbed up and down as he floated to your side. The other students that were walking up and down the road didn't bother him, as he simply fazed right through them. Suddenly, the apparition flew sideways, and out of reflex, you imitated the apparition out of reflex. 

"Keep going that way, kid. You have somebody waitin' for ya", the raspy voice of that… thing, said loud and clear. As fried as your nerves were, you were tempted to lash out, to disobey out of petulance. Today had been a rough day, and it had been reflected in your demeanour.

Your peers had constantly been casting worried glances your way, and even a teacher had pulled you aside to inquire if everything was alright. As touching as you would have normally found it, it had just been annoying and had exacerbated your mounting irritation. By the end of the school day, you had just wanted to be left alone. Maybe that's why you solemnly followed the floating clown’s instructions - yelling out loud would just make you appear mad, and you were also curious to where heeding the directions would lead to. 

There really was somebody waiting for you - a little to the side of the road, at the  edge of the park that was directly next to the school, was Light Yagami. Now that was strange - he normally went home with his friends. Then again, he had been acting weird for the past few weeks, his slightly standoffish nature being amped up to 11. 

As you approached him, he lowered the book that he had been reading, and raised a questioning eyebrow. All of this seemed like a bad idea. Then, the monster ripped the book out of the boy’s hands and added: “Not act so oblivious. You’re gonna get nowhere by playing coy now, kid”. 

Light shot it a baleful look. “Getting bored already, Ryuk?”, he asked slightly. Brown eyes focused on you the entire time, gouging your reactions. Before this conversation could continue without you, you butted in:

“You can see him too, Light? What is your connection to this … thing?”

It was comforting that you weren’t seeing things that weren’t really there, but on the flip side it meant that more sinister things were afoot. Judging from the plotting expression on your classmates face, he surely wouldn’t disappoint when it came to the latter. 

“Ryuk here is a shinigami, and before you ask, he’ll be in your life a while longer. How, that is up to you to decide.”

Why was he being so unusual to the point? Though, his statement did imply that he had a measure of control over this shinigami. An interesting tidbit that you would dwell and muse over in the future. 

“And why that? What do you want from me?”, you asked.

At your sides, your hands balled into fists, with your nails digging into the tender skin of your palms. With each passing second, this situation was becoming worse. While you were quick on your feet, both mentally and physically, the matter at hand was devolving too fast for you to keep up well. There was no chance of you darting a few steps ahead and taking control, and that was probably intended by Light.

“You truly are a delight. It is wonderful to converse with somebody that can keep up so well. In other circumstances, I would have to spoon feed the whole matter bit by bit”, Light mused, his eyes crinkling in a strangely genuine smile. “What I mean, is you either work for me, or I’ll have Ryuk haunt you until your sanity slips.”

Your heart pounded in your ears upon his words. Turning your head slightly, you stared at the shinigami, at those wide bulging eyes, at that too slim face and the staples at the collar. Today has been hell in its own way, with that spirit dogging your every step, holding its one-sided conversation and making life just difficult in general. Since it could interact with the physical world, as it had just demonstrated a few moments ago, which meant it could even drive you to madness. Today just had been a foretaste, and the demon had been holding back. 

This was too much, too fast. As it was, you were tired, and frustrated and disappearing to go live in the middle of nowhere sounded very attractive right now. What other choice did you have but to give in? 

As indicated above, Light would put you in a position where you wouldn’t be operating at full mental capacity and offer you a deal that you can’t refuse. Since there would be many roads to Rome, in this case, he wouldn’t resort to threatening you with the Death Note. If anything, with L tailing him, having you suddenly die or report him as Kira and then die would be very suspicious and make things more complicated than needed. So he would blackmail you the old fashion way, or use Ryuk to some capacity. 

Next to his feelings for you, having you at his side would serve another purpose - you would act in his stead should he be incapacitated. With two people on the job, the whole thing would go even faster, and give the appearance of an organisation to L. Asides, while Light is arrogant and under a lot of scrutiny and thus makes mistakes, you wouldn’t be, or at least not to the extent that Light is. 

Perhaps he’ll even draw you to his side, and make you see things his way. In that case, it would eradicate some of the fears that he would have about you acting against him. Also, with you looking at the other woman in Light’s life, like Misa, you would come to the conclusion that being the goddess of the new world wouldn’t be a really good position to be in. Best stay the secretary. 

Yandere Tadaomi Karasuma - Normie 

Karasuma would be drawn to you exactly because you are normal. You are no government agent or super spy or assassin-in-training. You are just a normal person, caught up in something far too big for you to handle; way out of your depth in many ways. To him, you would represent an opportunity to just switch off from all the official business for a few hours, touch grass and all that jazz. But because you are worlds apart in many a sense, he would start to dig his claws in you. 

Through the whole experience with Koro-sensei, you would be forced into a world where you would have to hit the ground running, and learn fast. Though you’d probably never be on the level where you would be able to go toe-to-toe with any of the special staff, or even the students for that matter, you would still have to be aware of the basics. With that, two things would become a reality - you would gain an understanding of all the spy and agent shenanigans, and therefore would understand Karasuma when he would complain about his day to you. Secondly, it would probably be him that reached out to you to help you with the situation, and thus a bond would form. 

At first, he would tell himself that he would have to be more privy to your daily going-ons for security reasons. If anything, you would be the weak link in the chain, and he would have to make sure that you don’t spill the tea or become a chess piece of third parties. Then, he would convince himself that he would have to spend so much time for you to ensure that you don’t have a mental breakdown. The whole situation would be never stressful in any case, and the last thing that would be needed would be for a normal staff member to become out of commision. 

These would all be excuses and justifications that he would formulate to distract himself from his own feelings for you, and why he is spending so much time with you. This problem would just be exacerbated by the fact that the octopus would ship the two of you - hard. It might even be that, that would force him to acknowledge his own feelings to you. 

With the pressure of the world ending, the secrecy and his own disposition, the agent would find himself spending an unnatural amount of time with you. Since he’d be one of the very few that would be in the know about the whole situation, you would find yourself embracing it - to a certain extent. Beyond a certain point, he would start spending too much time with you, maybe even going so far as to make you move in with him. All your concerns and protests would be waved away due to “security concerns” and the like. 

Due to that exact reasoning, he would do background checks on your family and friends, and start dictating who you can see and not. When the attacks on the school would start, this point would become all the more relevant. All that would make his protectiveness over you increase. The worst part of it would be that you wouldn’t be able to do a lot against him, since he would have the power and the skills to control your life and make all his arguments seem plausible to third parties.

[dragon-ball-meta]

Akio Iyoku And The Future Of Dragon Ball

Got a huge news drop last night, courtesy of @SupaChronicles on Twitter. I've linked the full tweet if you want to read his translation of the original article sans editorializing, but I wanted to attempt to explain a few things here. This is unprecedented for the franchise, and we're in untested, but very exciting times right now. The short version is this: Akio Iyoku and Capsule Corporation Tokyo have succeeded in gaining control of the rights to the Dragon Ball Franchise, in all but the manga side of things, for the next ten years. DAIMA is actually their first project. Now, some excerpts from the translated article: "Indomitable Dragon Ball, Inheriting the Mission: A Global Strategy to Reach the Next Generation" featuring Akio Iyoku, the President of Capsule Corporation Tokyo 'Dragon Ball' will celebrate its 40th anniversary in 2024. Dragon Ball is a unique and amazing work. Rather than thinking of the work in relative or uniform terms, the keynote is to think about how it should be done as a work of art. As the Executive Producer of a work with unprecedented longevity, my mission is to expand and convey what the original creator, Akira Toriyama, has created. I will continue to produce works, such as anime series, movies, and games, over the next 10 years. (...) Adopting what is popular at the moment does not increase the probability of success. I will not be swayed by the current trends, but will create works that I feel will be 'good enough'."

Iyoku is saying that, in his new capacity as the executive producer of Dragon Ball, he's doing this as a means of protecting the Dragon Ball IP as a work of art, and wants to release content that he feels upholds that integrity, rather than trying to use the IP simply to chase current trends and try to cling to relevancy. He says he also wants to keep the spirit of the series Toriyama intended. Now what's especially interesting to ME is this bit. He stops short of making any sort of direct confirmation, but this really, REALLY seems to lend credence to the reports that Shueisha was deliberately leaving Dragon Ball out to dry in favor of One Piece. "There was a time when the Dragon Ball craze, which had spread around the world over the past 40 years, had died down. When I became the head of Shueisha's Dragon Ball Room in 2016, I could not visualize what was really happening. 7-8 years ago, I went to a huge event in Brazil called "CCXP." I was told that Japanese anime were popular in South America, but there was a discrepancy from what I was told. The feedback from fans was weak. It may have been at the peak of its popularity when it was on-air in South America. (...) I also thought it was the result of relying on old-fashioned zeal. Therefore, starting with the 'Dragon Ball Super Broly' movie in 2018, we took steps such as actively participating in events. I felt concerned that Dragon Ball has not been expanded worldwide. Originally, we didn't see the strength and diffusion power of the work. We need to take a closer look at this and see if we can do more. We are not looking for a "one-size-fits-all" approach, but rather, we are looking for events such as the Dragon Ball World Championships, the expansion of games, creating facilities, and anything else that we can do. We will work on them in parallel."

And this bit: "Never before was there such a simultaneous worldwide reception of anime. (...) It can be said that we are now able to do things that we had not even considered before. From the beginning, I began to think about the overseas expansion of Dragon Ball. With 'Dragon Ball DAIMA,' which will be released in Fall 2024, we are taking on the challenge of creating an anime series with a completely original story. I am glad that all our works have been well-received overseas. 'DAIMA' was announced at New York Comic Con. The 'Dragon Ball' series is recognized around the world. It makes no sense to announce it somewhere domestic. Comic-Con is a great place to announce your work. People who understand the value of the culture are gathered there, to begin with, and we chose Comic-Con because of its ability to spread our work throughout the world. Overseas expansion is currently being considered as a necessary means of spreading the word about our work. If we compare the flow of manga titles selling in book format and then finally becoming anime to a river, the overseas developments were the ones that followed the river, meaning that in the past it was a "fan" (in the sense that the overseas expansion followed later.) I am convinced that Dragon Ball has pioneered many things as a Japanese anime. I have a sense of mission that if there is something that no one else has done, I must continue to challenge it." That sounds to me as if this was done at least in part because he felt the series was being mishandled, both on a promotional and quality control front. He also feels that there needs to be content created at least semi-regularly to keep the franchise relevant, as opposed to announcing something and then leaving long gaps of nothing, as almost happened after the Super anime went on hiatus. There's also some more implication about the series not being promoted to its fullest. "- The industry is over-competitive. It is tough to see the competition among anime (due to the emergence of streaming sites, etc.). Competition has become excessive. We must not create a situation where a manga becomes anime, and when the anime is over, the content ends as is. The ideal situation is to create a situation where the average viewer sees the content. We are in a cycle of consumption, and in some aspects, the cycle is becoming short-lived. I don't think it's good at all to have a boom that builds up and then burns down, which can be a factor in the content not lasting long. It will be tough if we do not create a place to compete differently from anime as content. It is advisable for works that are popular now to be distributed simultaneously around the world to repeat generations and reach the next stage of popularity. (...) In order to bring in overseas strength, a leading role is needed. In order for a producer to take on this role, they must transcend the boundaries of the corporate organization. There must be someone who has a "birds-eye view" of the work and is in a position to say to each company, "I think you should do this." I push myself to be a catalyst for this through various discussions. For Japanese content to continue, it is necessary to have someone who can say, "The status quo is not good enough."" So essentially, we're going to see more content. We're going to see more quality control ON said content. Both are being done to respect Toriyama's work, and to actually try to be competitive as opposed to simply relying on the legacy and the baked-in fandom to carry it in the sea of anime and manga franchises out there. He also feels that they shouldn't try to solely rely on adapting things, and create original content as well, while keeping it in line with the spirit of the series as opposed to just chasing whatever's popular. That's the intent, at least. Now we just need to wait and see how this all shakes out.

[burning-fcols]

TW: Body image issues, internalized fatphobia, f-slur at the end Adam stared at himself a good portion of time in front of the full length mirror. Not unusual for the egotistical man. He had to make sure he looked "just right" before he got on stage to perform his fans or even just going about his day. Ever since being casted down to Hell however, the ritual became much more complicated with issues that extended further with his physical changes and as he entered his "relationship" with Lucifer. In front of others, Adam would lie to their faces with all of the confidence and bravado he could muster, that he still looked "bad ass" even and especially with those acquired hellish qualities. He'd lie even further that he still got pussy with demon bitches lining up to get a taste of "the first man". Even if those "tastes" included either actually eating him or killing him. But that hasn't actually happened in awhile, especially once it was made clear that he associated himself with the King of Hell. On top of everything else, Hell's denizens, unlike Heaven's, had no scruples in reminding Adam what a fat guy he was. Something the man usually took on with pride and would mock the other person for being uncreative with the insults, if all they had to go by was just poking at his weight. It was easy to act like you didn't care when it was some rando sinner that you stubbornly decided was beneath you. It was less easy when it was just you in the mirror, replaying conversations from those you've recently come to care about. 'So this is what you've been doing since Eden? You've really let yourself go.' Looking at his profile, Adam lifted his stomach up, then let it fall in place, his eyeline followed it. Then he started pinching and proding at the rolls that overlapped. If Lucifer actually had an issue with Adam's weight, he would just say so right? Not lead the first man on and only act like he was attracted and interested. He may be an asshole, but he was a direct asshole. The Sin of Pride didn't beat around the bush just to spare the fallen angel's feelings. Adam would have been more insulted if he did. The First Man turned face forward, hands dropped the folds around his torso and went up to his face. The tips of his fingers pinched the areas of his neck and face that weren't framed already by his bone structure. His face shape was naturally round, heart shaped in fact, but it probably didn't help matters that he had the illusion of "baby fat" around it. Especially if he laid down. Closing his golden eyes, Adam let his face fall in everyway, frown deepened as he exhaled. "Fucking hell..." He tipped his forehead on the cold surface of the mirror. He exhaled through his nose. "I am a fat faggot." (Made it vague enough where it can be either our main verse or arranged) - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @meansman 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 Door cracking opening undetected— a perfect storm of Adam's attention being riveted on the mirror and Lucifer's movements slowed by the exhaustion of escaping a conversation that drawled on far longer than he'd prefer —it silently pushes open enough for the Sin to take notice of what Adam is doing. Abruptly halting, door is pulled back to offer more cover, giving the illusion of still being shut. Peering through the crack, by the time Lucifer decides Adam would NOT want him witnessing the scene, he has already been lingering too long...

Enough to where guilt now roots him in his spot, any chance of privacy denied thanks to gnawing worry. Biting his bottom lip, sharp teeth threaten to pierce skin the longer Adam's studying goes on. Regret grows with each poke and prod ( this is NOT something he was ever intended to see ) but so does his stubbornness, Lucifer determined not to leave until he's certain Adam is alright... Or until he's screamed at to leave. Either way, at least he can say he tried.

With the others muttered insult, Lucifer feels more confident he made the right decision. Awkwardly clearing his throat so as to not startle Adam, it's doubtful the gesture does much, considering he barely waits before appearing in the middle of the room in a bright blast of red smoke and light; Lucifer denied the option of subtlety even when NOT trying to show off. Discretion wasn't taken into consideration with his creation. Normally Lucifer doesn't mind it. Even if it was, he'd be adding flair to his actions regardless. But such an entrance doesn't exactly fit when the mood is so... somber.

Then again, it DOES fit with the awkward way he tries to interject himself into the scene. With a forced smile and a tilt of his head, he shakes a finger at the other in faux-scolding, ❝ Hey— careful, Adam. You shouldn't talk bad about my— uh, my... ❞ former-friend friend former-enemy lover fuckbuddy Adam Upbeat tone falters ( last word drawled out far too long ) as Lucifer struggles to figure out what he should refer to Adam as. Bailing on the playful route, he winces and presses his palms together, fingers aimed at Adam as he says, ❝ You seem upset. ❞

Not pleased with that line of dialogue either, Lucifer plows forward in the hope he'll find his footing along the way before Adam can try to throw him out. ❝ Did someone say something to you? Because if they did, just point me in their direction! ❞ With a weak chuckle, he flashes a grin and manifests himself beside the mirror with another ❛ poof ❜ . Leaning against its side, Lucifer dons his best can-totally-handle-this expression, looking up at the taller man with false confidence as he claims—

❝ And I'll smite them, noooooo problem~ ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[quaranmine]

Finished my final edit of Firewatch AU last night, so I will try to update the AO3 chapters to reflect this shortly. Don't worry much about major changes. Most changes were grammatical or slight rewords of sentences.

A few times I would slightly alter a sentence so that it lined up more with the established canon of the story. One side effect of writing a story over a year and uploading it chapter by chapter is that sometimes you get lines in earlier chapters that don't make as much sense with the direction the story actually went in. For example, and I think I already edited this on AO3, but originally when Grian reported Mumbo missing in chapter one he told the ranger on the phone several places he thought Mumbo might have gone. I changed this to Grian just saying what trail he took, because it's quite clear later in the story that Mumbo had told Grian his specific plan for a specific trail. It no longer made sense for Grian to be unclear on where he was. We go through this very thoroughly in the middle of the fanfic, Mumbo was supposed to be on the Cloud Lake Trail! It is an interesting thought to consider that perhaps Grian was always a little fuzzy on the details of where Mumbo was going, and that he just later talked himself into 100% believing that he always knew the exact location. But I didn't really intend for that, and that does start to get into the weeds a little bit on the level of nuance a reader will pick up on. So I changed it.

Functionally though, this change was like....5 words within a sentence. Like I said, not major changes, just little things to keep the story aligned.

Another example of a larger reword is that I changed my fire finder math to exclude the part about finding the elevation of the fire based on the vertical angle. This is because I had to change the height of Grian's lookout (in my internal notes) so that it would be below the treeline for the Greater Yellowstone Area. My only experience with treeline is in Colorado where it's about ~11,500 ft and I hadn't realized that it varied so widely in other mountain ranges, so I orginally put Grian's lookout at far too high an elevation to still be surrounded by trees. I also finalized the height of his lookout by looking at standard lookout schematics and the amount of stairs it has. If you're curious, I originally had it at around ~10,800 ft, and changed it to ~8,700 ft. I also changed the height of the lookout from 45 ft (non standard) to 40 ft (a standard height.)

Because I changed that height, I needed to recheck my math and fix it. But when I went back to that problem, I had a lot of difficulty figuring out how I had calculated it last year. I did eventually find the calculation I used as a base in my 1958 fire lookout handbook, but when I scrutinized that more closely I was unsure I even interpreted it correctly last year. (The person who wrote this in 1958 did not do a great job of explaining certain things.) I also realized that most lookouts just report the vertical angle and nothing else. Like, you're only expected to report the angle, not the elevations. I even found a video of a fire lookout explaining the Osborne Fire Finder where he mentioned calculating elevation of the fire, and mentioned that it is pretty dificult and generally only experienced lookouts report that, and that he had three years of experience and still only reported the angle.

So because I only want to include things I know are accurate, and I was unsure of the math, and I found out most lookouts don't even report that math to begin with, I just changed it to talk about the vertical angle. Probably better for the readers I lost with the math, anyway!

Anyway, that's the type of edits I did mostly LOL

[evaslytherpuff]

Desperate For Sanctuary

Ominis Gaunt x F!OC

Friends to lovers, Yandere OC

18+ MDNI!!!

Characters are 18+ in this fic!!!

Tag list: @myrachondria @hotcinnam0nspicy @moongurl95 @localravenclaw I appreciate that you all support this story and the characters, this fanfic is very dear to me! Thank you for reading!🥹💙

CW: Ominis experiences night terrors, Small conversation about death

If any of the above warnings may trigger you, PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE READING!

Chapter 3

Vivian's POV

Vivian had a wonderful first day. Tout simplement incroyable, simply amazing. Being placed in Slytherin, doing a fantastic job in her assignments, making new friends, and being paired up with a beautiful boy in a few of her classes. She fully intended to enjoy Hogwarts but wouldn't allow herself to be distracted. That plan completely fell to pieces when she laid eyes on Ominis Gaunt. The gorgeous, stoic, and elegant young man that sat alone at their house table.

There were plenty of spaces to sit but curiosity killed the cat and Vivian wanted to sit by him. She was stopped by an Irish girl with dark brown hair and even darker eyes. She was also a fellow Slytherin and Vivian learned her name was Imelda Reyes and she was a seventh year too. She introduced Vivian to the "important people" who sat at their table but she noticed that Imelda left out the blond boy.

"Who is that, Imelda?" She asked and tilted her head in his direction in case he saw her. She didn't want people to think that she was staring or being creepy but something about him just stood out. There was a presence about him and he stuck out more than anyone else in the Slytherin house.

"Oh, don't worry about him. You see how he sits by himself, he does that for a reason. Let's go this way." Imelda tugged on her arm but Vivian was undeterred, letting her inquisitiveness take hold. She pulled away and strode over to his spot and stood beside him as he picked at his food. After he welcomed her to sit there, sort of reluctantly, she learned his name and that he and Imelda aren't too fond of one another. What really caught Vivian's attention was his eyes. They were absolutely breathtaking. It didn't take much to deduce that he was blind, his irises were stunning, but held no pupils. She wondered if it bothered him and hoped that it didn't, they were simply exquisite. This only made him more fascinating and Vivian even more curious and eager to know this boy. After a tense chat and introductions, he quickly ate his food and pulled out his wand, then used it to navigate his way out of the great hall.

"So that is how he gets around the castle. That's truly interesting." Vivian stared after him.

"You wouldn't want to waste your time on Ominis, he probably won't even give you the time of day. That boy is as bold as brass and most students find him intimidating. I don't, I just see him as odd." Imelda shrugged.

"I always thought he was cute but Sebastian was way better looking and flirty." Grace blushed.

"Sebastian never even looked twice at you, Grace! He was always following behind Ember or getting her into trouble. She was the only person he wanted to be his lover." Imelda scoffed and rolled her eyes.

After learning a little more about him she could safely say that he caught her interest. A mystery indeed and Vivian loved a good mystery.

She was happy to see him in her potions class and even more elated that she was paired up with him as well. Vivian was never shy, she loved to exude confidence wherever she went, so she had no problem communicating with others. After learning he struggled in potions, she wanted to impress him by succeeding in the assignment. Vivian was a wiz when it came to potion making. He was filled with so much joy when they received a passing grade that he pulled her into a hug. It was startling but not unpleasant and Vivian embraced him back. She realized that classmates were staring but she didn't care at that moment. She was just happy to see him smile, he looked like he needed it.

He was in two of her other classes as well but she didn't get the chance to interact with him due to just doing an overview of what they knew. Reading in Defense Against The Dark Arts and studying different ways to fertilize magic plants in Herbology. Her station was all the way on the other side of the greenhouse next to Grace and Imelda.

Whenever she could, she would glance his way, noting his facial expressions in each class. He would scowl in Herbology and read Braille quickly in DADA, his fingertips brushing the pages swiftly. Grace thought it was weird how she was curious about him and Imelda still believed that it would be a waste of time, but it was up to Vivian to decide. She was still unsure, seeing as it was the first day, but something about him just tugged at her. She felt like a moth to a flame.

Before she knew it classes were over, and she was now... wandering the halls, hopelessly lost. She just needed to find the doorway to their common room. She had to be making a wrong turn somewhere she just couldn't remember where she was in the dungeons. She paced the halls back and forth as she rambled under her breath and complained in French. Even worse, no one was around to help her. She could not get in trouble her first night here, there was absolutely no way, she wouldn't allow it. She was so lost in thought and aggravation that she didn't even realize Ominis was approaching her.

"Vivian? Are you alright?" He asked softly and practically scared her half to death. She jumped and clutched her chest.

"Goodness! I'm sorry, Ominis. You scared me." She sighed. "I am so lost, I can't find the door to the common room. I've been wandering the halls for almost an hour now." She pushed up her glasses that started to slide down the bridge of her nose. "How did you know it was me?" She asked as she started to calm down.

"You were ranting in French, I recognized your voice. I could hear how upset you were. I was curious as to why you're out so late. Now it makes sense." He raised a blonde brow.

"Would you be so kind as to help me? Please?" She was practically begging.

"Of course, follow me." She fell in line walking behind him as he held his wand out in front of him. The red glow would blink faster as he got closer to objects. It was beautiful to watch because he was so confident in his strut. He didn't trip or stumble and it appeared as if he was gliding, his stride was smooth and graceful. Vivian did her best to take in her surroundings so that way she wouldn't get lost again but her eyes kept wandering back to the man walking slightly ahead of her. They strode in complete silence so Vivian decided at that moment to take him in. He was tall, much taller than her, with a divine toned physique. His school uniform was clearly expensive but hugged his muscles perfectly. She especially noticed this in their potions class. His robe flowed behind him and accentuated his broad shoulders. His gleaming blond hair was combed and styled neatly. She wondered what it would look like loose and disheveled. His skin was a gorgeous alabaster and if he stood extremely still, he could be mistaken for a Greek statue. To top it off he had picturesque features that took your breath away and adorable beauty marks stood out on his chiseled face. She noticed he had more on his neck and she was curious to where else he had them. Were they all over?

She shook her head, scolding herself for thinking that way, especially about a boy she just met. Society would deem her very unladylike although muggle girls were sixteen and already married and working on starting a family. She was friends with a muggle girl named Sarah back in Marseille, her hometown where she grew up. Sarah was happy to accept an arranged marriage her father set up for her. Vivian was eighteen and couldn't imagine living such a chaste and innocent life, especially at the age of sixteen, she just wanted to enjoy life and become a very skilled witch. Quite a few people may see her as "inappropriate" but, in all honesty, she didn't really care. They rounded a corner until they came face to face with a large wall, a snake-like structure lining this side of the room.

"Move closer to the wall." Ominis gestured towards the snake. Vivian did as she was told and spoke the house password, at least she remembered that. The structure slithered and moved as it revealed the door to their common room. She was so relieved and thankful that Ominis was there to help her. It finally hit her though and curiosity got the better of her.

"Thank you for assisting me, Ominis," She smiled gently. "I was just wondering, why are you out so late?" She asked then felt a lump in her throat when she took in his expression. He seemed annoyed with her and narrowed his eyes. They fell on her and it almost felt like he was looking through her, to her very soul. It was unnerving and made her shift in place, the silence between them was awkward.

"Maybe one day I'll tell you but for now, it's a secret." He gave her a stern look and she took it as a sign to hush up and mind her own business.

"I understand." She said softly, clearly intimidated. Maybe the other students were right, he did exude an air of warning.

"Good night, Vivian." He bowed his head to her. What a gentleman, she thought as she smiled to herself. It kind of made her…blush. Before she could even respond, he turned, then swiftly walked away.

"Good night, Ominis!" She called after him, hoping that he heard her, then she entered the door to the common room to turn in for the night.

Ominis POV

Ominis made it back to the room of requirement without getting caught by anyone. Now, he was pacing back and forth in front of a conjured fireplace. He was in a bedchamber he had willed the room to create for him. The room of requirement felt like a home away from home to him, but now it was missing something, someone to share it with. He was eighteen and knew of other men his age already getting married. Everett Clopton married Samantha Dale and Amit Thakkar went off to marry Charlotte Morrison, all while still attending school. If Sebastian and Ember were here, they would probably be married as well, they could be for all he knew. This wasn't the muggle world though and the wizarding world did things differently. It ultimately seemed up to their own preference and time, although some families encouraged them to marry young. He wanted to be as far away from his family as possible. Who knows who they would have tried to pair him off with. The thought was revolting and turned his stomach.

When he finally turned eighteen he gained access to his inheritance. He used some of it to buy an old rundown manor outside Hogsmeade Valley. He then paid to have it restored to its original condition. The rest of the fortune he had, he safely stored it away in his own vault at Gringotts. The only time he withdrew anything was if he truly needed it. His family was known to spend their money recklessly, he wouldn't make the same mistake as them. Once school was officially over and done with, he would have a home of his own and more splendidly, away from his relatives. This was one of the reasons why he was willing to go through another year at Hogwarts. He would do anything to get away from his sick and twisted family.

He started to sweat due to riling himself up so he removed his robe and tossed it on a nearby armchair. He sighed to himself as he thought of the girl he just escorted to their common room. He should have talked to her, he should have said more, gotten to know her. Instead he was speechless and awkward the entire time, even rude at one point. He could feel her eyes studying him and it made him nervous. What was she thinking? How did he look in her eyes? Would she see how self conscious he was around her? So many questions ran through his mind but he was too uneasy to ask her any of them. When they reached their destination all he wanted to do was run. She probably thought he was weird, everyone else did, he barely spoke to her. He hoped she didn't think he disliked her. Her presence was actually very comforting and she seemed to radiate such a warm and inviting aura. Her perfume reminded him of a wonderful Autumn night right before the Samhain Festival. It was sweet but also spicy, maybe one of the ingredients was cinnamon, and it seemed to make his mouth water.

He finally stopped pacing before he undid his tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt. His clothes felt constricting and he desperately wanted to tear them off. He grunted in frustration as he kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks. He unbuttoned his trousers then slid them down his legs. This left him in just his drawers but even that felt like too much. He moved away from the heat of the fireplace hoping to cool himself off. He's never felt like this and it was nerve wracking. What was it about this young woman that affected him so much? There were plenty of girls at Hogwarts but none of them paid him any mind really. Was he attracted to Vivian because she was the first girl to show interest in him? If that was the case, then it made him feel pathetic, getting hung up on the first woman who was kind to him. Who does that? He crossed over to the four post bed and flopped down on the made mattress, sighing loudly.

What people may not know about him was that he is texture sensitive. If any fabric was uncomfortable or irritating it truly put him in an agitated mood. His clothes had to be soft and perfectly tailored for him or it was unbearable. He gripped the waistband of his underwear and tugged them off, tossing them on the floor with the rest of his clothes. The cool silk sheets felt glorious against his overheated skin. He just needed to calm down and clear his mind, yes that was it, that's all he needed to do. He rolled around until he was in a comfortable position, his frame taking up most of the bed, the sheets barely covering his naked body.

It didn't take long for him to drift off to sleep and his subconscious rapidly conceived visions of Vivian. He didn't even know what she looked like, he probably never would, but his mind entered a frenzy surrounding this seductive woman. Her perfume, her voice and accent, the way she pressed herself against him in potions. It had his mind spinning even as he slept. But the dreams of her were soon taken over...by nightmares.

The actions of his toxic family and what they forced him to do as a child bled into his mind. No matter how hard he tried to wake up to fight these horrors he simply couldn't. He was trapped, a prisoner in his own mind, and he hated it. He tossed and turned, swiping at invisible hands that were determined to torture him, pushing him into harming others. He cried out in the night gripping the sheets beneath him, his body tensing up in pain and agony. He shot up and was jolted awake, clutching at his chest, his nails digging into the scar over his heart. The marks left behind by the Cruciatus Curse. He was gasping for air as his fingers ran through his hair. It took him a moment to calm himself and realize where he was. The Room of Requirement, in his bed, he wasn't at his family's manor. He couldn't stop himself from shivering as pain clawed through his chest. He was fine, he was safe, but the night terrors still haunted him even after all these years. All he could see was Erebus and Marvolo standing over him. Erebus donned a vicious grin while Marvolo glared and shook his head. It was the last time he saw his older brothers. The last time they took turns torturing him, simply because he refused to hurt others, innocent muggles who didn't deserve it. His torso was covered in scars, proof of all the pain his family had inflicted on him.

He felt around for his wand and found it on the nightstand next to his bed. He then summoned his transfigured watch that helped him tell what time it was in Braille. One in the morning. He sighed and rubbed his temple's, hoping he could fall back to sleep with no issues. As he laid back down, setting his wand beside him, a thought popped into his head. What if he asked Vivian to brew a few Potions of Dreamless Sleep? It would be an excuse to be close to her, get to know her, but would she be willing to do it? The worst that could happen was her saying no to his request.

He woke up that morning with a terrible headache from his restless night. He quickly got ready and headed to the great hall to eat. Maybe it would help with the pounding in his head. He sat down at the end of the slytherin table and eavesdropped on conversations and even sniffed the air for a moment to see if she was around. Vivian was nowhere to be found at breakfast and he felt slightly disappointed. He sighed heavily to himself as he stood up from the table, pushing his plate away from him and walking over towards Imelda's voice.

"Imelda, have you seen Vivian?" He asked as politely as he could.

"Haven't seen her since early this morning. She got ready in a hurry and left the dorms. She said something about finding the music room. Why are you looking for her?" He could hear the sneer in her voice.

"I just need her assistance, that's all. She is my potions partner after all." He sighed as he walked away from the chuckling girl.

He left the great hall and used his wand to lead him towards the music room. As he got closer, he could hear floating notes of the piano enveloping him. He stood just outside the door and listened intently. She played so skillfully, it was beautiful. The music she was playing seemed to call him closer and he snuck into the room without her noticing. He sat down on one of the bleachers and chose to just enjoy her artistry.

Something didn't seem right to him though. Vivian came across as vivacious and lively but her music was deep and haunting. Was that? Was she playing Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven? He closed his eyes and listened intently, getting lost in the music. She's very talented, he thought. He wondered what else she was good at. Potions and now the piano, she's complex and he likes that, she fascinates him. He could hear her sigh and sniffle when she finished the sonata.

"That was beautiful." He whispered, not realizing the words actually spilled from his lips.

He startled her and he heard her breathe out in relief. "Ominis, you scared me again, I didn't even know you were there. We have to stop meeting like this." She chuckled awkwardly.

"I was trying to find you when I heard you playing and didn't want to interrupt you. You're very good.” He smiled gently.

"Thank you. I've been playing since I was a little girl." He heard her stand up and cross over to him.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, you seem happy and confident, yet your music sounds so heartbroken and sad. Why?" He asked softly, hoping he didn't offend her.

"I do my best to smile and be myself but you're not wrong. My mother taught me how to play. My mom was an Auror and...she died while protecting me from dark wizards. When I play the piano, it's like she's here with me. I won't go into too much detail because it hurts but...when I'm sitting on that bench it's like my parents are with me. My father died a few months after my mother. Doctors believe it was a broken heart." Vivian sniffled and shifted beside him.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." Ominis wanted to take her hand in his and comfort her but he hesitated. She may not like that since they barely knew each other.

"Thank you so much." She said softly. "You were looking for me?" She brought him back to the reason why he was there in the first place.

"Yes, I was. I don't want to bother you though." He stood up to leave but she stopped him, her fingers clasping around his arm to turn him around to face her.

"I don't mind. What's the matter? You can tell me. I don't bite." She giggled.

"I know that we just met and all but I was wondering if you could help me." He scratched the back of his head and could feel his nerves set in.

"It depends, what do you need help with?" She asked kindly.

"Brewing some potions to help me sleep. I don't sleep very well and I'm honestly not ready to try and brew them on my own. I would ask Weasley for help but he'll probably add unnecessary ingredients that would turn my hair long and purple for a month." He rolled his eyes and she laughed making his heart skip a beat. He couldn't help but chuckle with her. It felt good to laugh again.

"Alright, I'll help you brew the potions. On one condition. You have to pay me." She sounded brutally honest.

"Pay—pay you?" He raised his eyebrows at her in slight shock.

"Yes. Pay me with your time." He could hear the smile in her voice. Was she...teasing him?

"My time?" He asked in confusion.

"That's right. If you want my help, you can help me. If I need ingredients or need to buy anything else for your potions, I want you to come with me. We can work together on this. Do we have a deal, Monsieur Gaunt?" That was the first time in his entire existence that his last name actually sounded attractive, especially with her accent.

"You—you've got a deal." He swallowed hard as she took his hand in hers and shook it.

"Okay, then meet me by the clock tower after we are finished with our classes. She rubbed his knuckles with her thumb before releasing his hand and walking out of the music room.

Ominis just stood there stunned for a moment. Was he actually going to have alone time with Vivian? He was grinning like an idiot as he walked out of the room to head to his first class.

A/N:You'll officially meet Erebus in chapter 4! I also changed where Ominis bought his manor.❤️

Chapter 4

[tuliptheoshawott]

@lwasanta

IT'S HERE! THE LWA SECERET SANTA!!!!!

At just over 1,000 words, this has officially surpassed the longest single section of a fanfiction I have EVER written!

This is a gift for @randompope, so I hope you like it!!!

Luna Nova, and witchcraft as a whole, has been around since the origination of Christmas itself.

Back to the earliest records in Rome in 336, Or some of the earliest English celebrations in 1038.

2018, 1,682 Christmases later, Luna Nova and the art of witchcraft were still going strong, mostly thanks to the work of one… less than bright girl.

Her friends weren't the sharpest either. And an anonymous gift giving tradition gave a whole new level of challenges…

“Hey, Diana, who'd you get?” Amanda asked.

Diana looked at her letter hesitantly. “Chloe…”

“Oh, the one who hates you?”

Of course. The one who hated her. How was she supposed to get a gift from someone who hated her?

That fact didn't really matter. Her mother taught her the virtues of kindness and respect before she left the earth, and she intends to keep those promises in her gifts, no matter who they are going to.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What on Earth are those boxes?” Diana asked.

Barbara put down a giant, heavy box in the middle of the Blue Team dorm room.

“It’s decorations. Christmas decorations.” Barbara replied.

“Yeah, we decided it’d be a nice change of pace to decorate, like all the other teams!” Hannah excitedly said.

“Why, though? We’ll just have to tear them down, after all.” Diana asked.

“It’s fun! Come on, you can put your concerns aside for a little bit, can’t you?” Barbara responded.

“Alright, fine. Just not too much.” Diana begrudgingly agreed.

They grabbed some decorations out of the big box. First a bunch of string lights, which they wrapped around the roof.

“We have to turn those off before we go to bed. I can’t sleep with those on.” Diana said.

They ended off by wrapping their door with a drape, a red one with some linear designs and snowflakes on it.

Diana, despite her concerns, thought the decorations looked pretty nice.

That was not the thought process of another onlooker.

“Hey, Diana.” Said Chloe, standing on the other wall.

“What’s up with your door?” She asked.

“Uh… these are just some decorations that me and my roommates put up.” Diana replied.

“They look kinda stupid.” Chloe said.

“Well I just think you need better tastes.” Diana said in response.

“‘Better tastes’, get over yourself!” Chloe argued.

Diana didn't want to start this, and left.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Thanks for taking me with you, Diana!” Akko said.

Diana had Akko tag along for her holiday shopping session. She was looking for a suitable gift for Chloe.

“What are you gonna get?”

“Nothing for you, Akko.” Diana replied.

Akko had a look of disappointment for a little bit, then went back to her old, joyful demeanor.

“Chloe’s gonna be a hard nut to crack! Ya see how much she hates you?” Akko asked.

“Yes. Yes, Akko, she makes that very obvious. In fact, she hates me so much, she makes it a clear statement every time she sees me.” Diana replied.

One look down the aisle, and Diana sees a familiar face.

It was Amanda, trying to pick something out. After seeing Diana, she fumbled and put what she was holding down, pretending to look in the other direction.

Diana pretended not to see her and proceeded down the following isles.

She went to a clothing aisle. If she didn’t have any ideas for interesting gifts, some clothes will probably do. After all, they're a pretty common Christmas gift, right?

“Awww, Diana, why here?” Akko asked.

“Well, simply put, I’m out of ideas.” Diana replied.

“Did you have any ideas in the first place?” Akko teased.

“No. I never did. We’ve barely talked enough to understand each other…”

At that moment, Diana had a thought.

Was this intentional?

Did Luna Nova do this as a way to make us… get along?

Well, whatever they try to do, it’s not going to work. Chloe will never budge from her position.

“Uh… Diana? You look pretty lost in thought there…” Akko said.

“Yes… very lost…” Diana replied.

“Oh, Diana, look over there!” Akko shouted.

Although Diana was not too impressed with Akko’s “inside voice”, she looked where Akko was pointing.

It was a Santa Claus costume. 

Of course, this was a very generic gift, but the exchange was coming in close, and the ideas were running thin.

“Alright, I’ll get it.” Diana said.

“Really? I originally suggested it as a sort of joke, but if you actually want to go through, that’s alright!” Akko replied.

“I don’t really have a choice, at this point.” Diana said. “Plus, It’d look nice on her anyway.”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day of the great exchange had come, and Diana was the most nervous of all.

After all, she had no idea what this girl liked, because she had never liked her.

The exchange was held by, of course, Ms. Ursula Castillis, who loved to have these little communication shindigs to “strengthen the bonds of the witches of Luna Nova”.

“So, I can assume you’ve communicated with the one who you’re getting the present for?” Ursula said.

“That would kill the point of the surprise. You’re supposed to use what you know about the person, maybe gather information from other people, like I did.” Amanda said in response.

“Well- I-”

“You must expect us to know each other already, don’t you, because you value communication so much, don’t you?” Hannah asked, almost maniacally.

Ursula was flustered by all of the questions. “Alright, let’s stop with the questions, now.”

Diana couldn’t help but agree. She was getting tired of all of the questioning.

“Can we please start now? I’m getting bored with you already.” Chloe said

“Alright, let’s start with your gift, Chloe! Diana, shall you?” Ursula asked.

Diana gave her box to Chloe, and she hesitantly opened it. She looked inside and saw… a Santa Claus costume.

“Diana, what is this?” Chloe asked.

“It’s a Santa costume. Me and Akko thought you’d look great in it.”

Chloe gained a slightly frustrated face.

“...Merry Christmas?” Diana said.

Ursula saw what was coming and moved the session on. Why don’t we move on to Diana’s gift. Amanda?

So that’s why she was stumbling in the store…

Diana opened up the box, and inside was an ornament.

“Amanda, what is this?” Diana asked.

“It’s to help you gain better decoration tastes.” Amanda replied.

Amanda and Chloe looked at each other.

Oh no they didn’t…

[mothbeasts]

ok since you're the fabby expert riddle me this bc i've been thinking abt this all day for some reason. what do u think like. her childhood/young adulthood was like. i rotate her in my head all the time but it is SO difficult to think abt her outside of the state she's currently in now. i know she didn't spawn upon this earth like that. but that's the only way i can picture it so i need insider intel on this subject

SO glad you asked because i think about this extensively. disclaimer that this probably does not line up with Actual Canon it's just my fun little version of events that happens in my brain.

With that out of the way. What was younger fabby like?

For starters. she was 100% a theater kid and finds it embarrassing as an adult. But you cannot stop being a theater kid. Ever.

Honestly. I feel like she was fairly normal as a kid. Maybe a bit TOO interested in morbid things like poison and murder but honestly. That feels Normal. She would've been the kind of kid who like enacted the strangest scenarios and drama with dolls I think.

Things get interesting at around her young adult era. See, in my mind, a lot of her issues started at around that time. Her general constant stress and poor sleep schedule were Definitely worse when she started university. But she powered through (mostly on spite) to get her engineering degree anyways. And then got a job with Zoraxis. Which in no way helped anything ever. In my mind she also got a minor in an art field - not entirely sure what but that's just how I imagine it going. Probably something fashion related, if we wanna take that watch poster into account.

Another thing in my mind is that she was far more reserved in. i wanna say the late teens-early 20s range. Quiet, not really drawing attention. Very absorbed in her studies. Her turn towards evil science was kind of simultaneous with her becoming more like the Fabricator we see in the games; by the time she's gotten a cozy spot near the top of Zoraxis, she's got her act perfected. But the perfect evil science persona DOES take time to craft and that wasn't really the direction she had intended to go at first. She started off just wanting to go into normal engineering or something. Even into her early days with Zoraxis, she was a bit eccentric perhaps but not quite at evil science level for some time.

I think her interest in poisons and such started to take a turn for the worse when she got access to university level chemistry labs. And then her engineering education obviously went towards murder.

The summary is she was honestly Pretty Normal in my mind up until she started working for Zoraxis. After that she realized she actually thinks the whole evil thing is fun and she wants in on it.

HONORARY OTHER HEADCANON MENTION: I tend to draw her with a prosthetic arm. Why, you ask? Lab Incident. She accidentally blew herself up really bad. This happened shortly after the start of her career at Zoraxis.

[autogeneity]

Hi, I was looking into computer science and I wanted to ask you what drew you to it and how you feel about it as a career choice?

I don't think my reasons for getting into it are likely to be very helpful to anyone else because they are very specific to my life at the time and not actually much about computer science at all. Skip to the last section for more relevant things.

But here is my story —

I went into university with a starry-eyed idea of understanding the True Fundamentals of Everything and was majoring in maths, physics, and philosophy. also my brain was broken and I had a very fuckd't relationship to reality as a concept (mega derealisation with substantial perceptual distortions and potentially some delusional features) and some part of me saw this as Deep Philosophical Insight, while another hoped getting The Answers would solve it.

after a year it became apparent that this was probably at least a little silly and not going to happen, and I didn't actually see myself being a professional physicist irl.

additionally, I felt more drawn to doing something with more tangible outcomes in the real world rather than chasing maximum abstraction. I had a growing interest in neuroscience and AI and simulation, but also could maybe see myself becoming a professional mathematician. so I kept the maths and switched the others to computer science and psychology.

I guess the specific CS appeals were: I already knew some programming and had found it basically trivial to learn, so I sort of figured it is probably a good match for my brain. and I like puzzles (actually when I first got to uni all the departments were doing little recruitment speech thingies and the CS department actually gave us puzzles! I somehow imagined this would be representative of literally anything (it is not)). I still find those, like, code challenge type problems a lot of fun though.

the final thing that sealed the deal was the availability of a scholarship for maths+cs major, and the fact that it could provide a backup plan if my academia plans failed.

---

As for how I feel about it — well, my academia plans did fail so I am very glad I had a backup in place. Even if they hadn't gone wrong at the time, it's pretty clear to me now that the many mental health issues I continued to deal with in the time since would have led to me fucking up in academia sooner or later in a way they did not in my job. There is much, much more latitude here.

And it's pretty alright as a job; I'm not ecstatic about it but I don't really mind overall and it is sometimes fun. I actually like bug-fixing, lol — the kind where there's an immediately-obvious mistake and I just gotta correct it is boring but the hunt is fun. In general I dislike the amount of small, tedious tasks where I just gotta do some obvious thing, but I like it when I get to build something more substantive that requires more figuring out. I am somewhat fond of the way the shape of the things feels in my brain (not sure that makes any sense lmao). Albeit there are not really many puzzles. :(

But I'm not intending to stay in my current work. I worked briefly in data science and found it much more engaging. I plan to move towards that and/or stuff in the direction of bioinformatics or scientific computing or computational neuroscience. Which is all still computer science but not. software development.

---

Which is probably the biggest thing I would want to highlight for someone considering computer science. In general working in software development (the most typical career path) is very different to working in computer science. Very often someone interested in the one will not be very happy with the other. I would encourage identifying which is your interest, and seeing what they both actually entail, before pursuing anything.

Because like, if you want a run-of-the-mill programming job, in many places it might be worth considering just doing some sort of bootcamp and projects. The company I work at gets probably like 20% of their graduate hires from that stream. Much cheaper and faster than a degree! Or for various other types of work certifications might be a good approach.

If you like mathy things, you probably want computer science proper. If you like engineering, tiny technical details, performance focus, etc, you probably do want formal education and may want to look at things requiring low-level languages, e.g. embedded software. I think people who like twiddling and configuring enjoy cloud shit? or infrastructure and ops work more generally but I think these days most places that looks like cloud shit. If you like the big picture, modeling, and the human side, you may be interested in systems analysis (I find this Very Shaped tbh but am not up for the human side and honestly don't like making big judgement calls).

Somehow I don't actually know what the people who like everyday application development actually like about it specifically lmao? even though they are surely the majority. But ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[crystalsamethyst]

I have let myself be extremely vulnerable recently and I don't know if it's something people really care about but I'm going to talk about it.

The fact that I've been sharing the whole picture of who I am across several platforms is something I never thought I'd be able to do. There has been so much embarrassment and shame in my personal life over me writing fanfiction and latching on to series that I could barely even admit it out loud even though it was my entire sense of self. I couldn't talk about what I was writing. I couldn't share it. Even if people were genuinely interested, I'd have a panic attack thinking their perception of me would be altered and I'd lose everything.

Sharing what I write is extremely difficult because on one hand, it's a part of me, but on the other hand, there are things I have to incorporate for the stories that don't represent me at all and I'm terrified of people coming to the wrong conclusions about who I am as a person. Even if the writing is 100% aligned with what I wanted for it, that still doesn't mean it's always who I am or what I like or approve of for real life.

I also never thought of myself as a 'real writer' until I finished my own original book since fanfiction 'doesn't count' (in my irl world).

My username on fanfiction sites is different than the ones I share things about my actual life on and it will probably stay that way. It always felt like such a disconnect but I intended to stay anonymous, post what I wanted to, and not get found by a select few people who seemed to be able to find and shame me wherever I went (still found me on some of the sites but by then they didn't hold power over me at least)

So recently, I've been linking my work which is on AO3 under the same username I use for all sites I've posted fanfics on. I've even put direct links to my AO3 in some of my online profiles. There's a lot of my old work out there that I don't want to be represented by but someone liked it so I'm not going to take them down.

This is a very vulnerable process for me, admitting that I am a person and here is what I like and here is what I write. It might take a while until I'm comfortable sharing everything I wanted to post, but if I eventually do, I really hope people won't come after me for it (super unlikely scenario but, anxiety). I'm not scared of online hate, but I'm terrified of losing the respect and friendships of those I've connected with even if there is nothing even 'socially' wrong with the stories.

I really appreciate the support I've gotten so far. Especially with the TGCF community. I've had to learn a lot on my own since I started posting things like 13 years ago, and I'm still figuring out AO3 and learning new terms. I sometimes feel like a new young fan just now learning how the internet works.

I've been isolated a lot of my life and have several mental health issues plus autism so I'm super knowledgeable in some areas but completely in the dark in others that might seem incredibly obvious and commonly known, and it's the same for fandoms and websites. (I've actually been apparently using Tumblr wrong this whole time too for the like system. I've been using it mostly as bookmarks or read laters. Whoops.)

On a lesser note, I also never imagined I would start drawing again. I actually used to be pretty good at it but again, was shamed and ridiculed for a lot and compared to others so I stopped for a really long time. I'm glad I can share it without being tooooo embarrassed anymore.

It means a lot to me to be so supported, and I would tag a few of you specifically but I don't want you guys to feel called out. But please know that your support and enthusiasm means the world to me and I appreciate and care about you very much. Thank you for helping me feel safe while I'm letting myself be vulnerable.

[simplylove101]

2024 Horror Challenge: [20/?]

↳“Some things should stay in the past.” (I think this what he said?? I can't remember lolol) The Watchers (2024) dir. Ishana Night Shyamalan

Plot: A 28-year-old artist gets stranded in an expansive, untouched forest in western Ireland. Finding shelter, she unknowingly becomes trapped alongside three strangers who are stalked by mysterious creatures every night.

Starring: Dakota Fanning, Georgina Campbell, Olwen Fouere & Oliver Finnegan

Okay, so I actually only just got out of the movie theater from watching this not too long ago, which was an impulsive decision I made this morning since it was my off day & figured why not. lol I actually haven't been back to the theater in forever cuz you know, money & convenience but it did feel good to remember what's so great about the experience (even if there was literally only 2 other people in the same showing as me since I went to a cheap matinee lmao) Anyway, about the movie, I didn't really feel the biggest need to go see it tbh but I have been curious about it. I didn't know too much beforehand since I've mostly avoided spoilers and I knew Dakota was starring in it, who I've always liked since she was a child. Also, that ofc, this is directed by M. Night Shyamalan's daughter (which is naturally gonna maybe give you some biased expectations about it) and my track record with him isn't the most solid, to say the least. BUT I did wanna give Ishana a fair chance since I've seen people point out that she has her own style, plus this story is based on a book so I went in with an open mind. Overall, I don't think I was totally in love with it but seeing it in the theater definitely enhanced the actual experience of watching it as they intended it. First, whoever did the sound mixing for this movie did a great job. Cuz there were moments that got me a couple times. lol There were some jump scares that didn't do too much to get me throughout but the knocks?? Damn, I'm glad I was seated in the back so the guys didn't see me flinch. XD I don't think the movie itself was too scary since I think in true PG-13 form they chose not to show certain things. There's a lot that is suggested and people who hate gore can watch this knowing that it never crosses the line of being bloody. It does feel very plot heavy (the lore of it all), which is interesting because at the same time there really isn't a whole lot to the story until much later when they reveal a twist (it wouldn't be a Shyamalan movie without at least one lol) but I didn't mind too much at first. By the hour mark tho, I did start to think it was feeling a little too long tho considering so I will say pacing was my main issue with this one. We would get these snippets of exposition throughout in between the bits of action in a way that felt a little forced maybe or at least the formula felt repetitive. But that said, I did enjoy the lore itself tho. Like, I wanted more of that than some of the stuff we got. lol Gotta point out that I do have an appreciation for ensemble stories in small spaces and the actors all did a wonderful job, especially Dakota. She is able to say so much with those eyes of hers without uttering a word. In one particular scene, she got me good. I also thought they did a nice job of establishing the aesthetic and feel of the movie right from the jump with a strong opening scene to set the mood. So, while it's got plenty of flaws that make it probably a 6/10 movie for me, there were things going for it as well. I think you can tell it's a first movie by the director but it shows potential. The ingredients for a stronger movie are there so while like I said, I didn't leave the theater loving it, I can appreciate its intentions. Also, it made me wanna read the book to see if I prefer that. If nothing else, it got me back in a movie theater so I'm grateful for that!

[dnalt-d2]

QSMP has Ended, but What Do I Think, and What Will I Do?

(Probably my last long post for a while, so heyyyyyy)

So…QSMP is over

OR IS IT?????

(I don't know for sure and I don't think anyone else does right now either tbh I'll circle back to this)

So the day started 10 mins earlier than I fucking expected because no one said anything about a QSMP Info Stream, so I slept through that stuff about D.R.A.G.O.N. But I have since seen it and oh boy

I hurt about it

Maybe

To start with, they listed Chayanne and Lullah as deceased, even though as far as we know, they're eternally asleep in Rose's Garden. Did the Feds just list them as deceased because they couldn't find them? Probably maybe idk what am I a cop??? I do know that Richas probably actually died and that fuckin sucks. RIP little dude. Your chaotic energy WILL be missed, sincerely

Now the rest of the surviving Eggs (possibly sans Dapper and Pomme for BBH/their own Lore reasons) to be left in cryogenic stasis. I will return to this point later

BECAUSE THEN THE HORRORS, FINALLY

Everyone got loaded up into a plane to go somewhere, but crashed before arriving, leaving everyone to gather plane parts and survive numerous Code Monsters. RIP Etoiles, you and your badass sword/shield would've loved QSMP Horror

Also, since I didn't mention it, we got some strange occurences with some of the people. Fit got deported, RIP to him as well, and replaced with local Heterochromatic/Possibly Homophobic Catboy Madagio. Pac became PacOvo, or whatever they were calling him, I think I missed that part. And Mike is a straight-up zombie. Dude lost his eyes at one point, I saw it myself, it was fuckin wild. Also Max showed up. And I'm not sure he did much to explain that. I do know he seemed to trauma-bond with Bad about their mutual Nuke-related deaths. Wouldn't be the first thing they trauma-bonded about, I'm sure

And then BACK TO THE HORRORS

So they managed to fix the plane, only to be told that the Codes are a product of a virus in long-forgotten plot-point SOFIA, and they needed to destroy her in order to destroy them and the Feds, much to Max's (and for some reason Quackity's) dismay. But they still basically ripped her apart and did the thing anyway, and they managed to essentially destroy the island. I think. Or they just escaped? I'm gonna be real, I'm not 100% sure on whatever happened there, it's been a hot minute and I'm tired

Either way, we were then met with a montage of numerous moments on the QSMP, and then an ominous Number 2, which has some…Interesting implications…

Now I've never been part of the DSMP fandom, but I still kinda feel like this has the same vibes of DSMP Season 2. And by that I mean that right now, I'm sure there are intentions to continue eventually, once things behind the scenes are sufficiently sorted out, much like how DSMP was initially intended to continue. That's likely why they left the surviving Eggs in a state that possibly leaves them open to continuation. However, I think we also all need to keep in mind that things could potentially not be sorted out

This doesn't mean don't be excited, I know I am. But I do think we need to keep our expectations in check, just in case we get a different announcement. There is always the possibility that things went too far in the wrong direction, and course-correction just isn't feasible

Once again, I wanna say just how happy I am to have been here for all this. I was there on the first day of QSMP, just by pure coincidence, and I have been here ever since, all the way to the end. I don't regret that in the slightest, and I am super glad to have seen the community it fostered here. I'm not quite social enough to have been able to make friends the way a lot of you have, but nevertheless, I am really happy to have been along for the ride. For me, I think it was that I kept seeing some of the same names in the feed, and in my notifications. That made me really happy, seeing all of you

So Thanks Quackity, Thanks Admins, Egg-Related or Not, Thanks QSMP Creators from all over the world, and of course, Thanks QSMPblr, for making this an incredible experience

Now as for this blog…

I'll admit I made this side-blog as primarily QSMP-related, while also hoping to talk about my other fandom interests sporadically, maybe do some fanart. But then suddenly people started following me???

Like actually wanting to hear what I have to say apparently???? And that blew my mind, but also made me too anxious to start posting other fandom stuff because "That's not what these guys are here for, what if they get annoyed, etc." Just that typical social anxiety fun stuff that lives in the void where my brain once was

But at this point, I'm probably gonna belay that entirely, and start finally ranting about other things here like I've been holding off on for a while. Might even just do an art dump of random stuff that I just made and never did anything with. So uh, if anyone who followed me doesn't wanna see that…Sorry. I just don't want this blog to die entirely, if I'm being honest

I do have a project I'm hoping to work on, and I might do some progress reports over here, but if not, and you're still curious, I also have my main blog [@dna-d2] that I would be on otherwise. Idk if I'm gonna go to posting there primarily, hard to say. But that's the thing about the future. You can think all you want about how it's gonna go, but in the end, it only takes a moment to decide what will actually happen. Did that actually mean anything?? Was it actually profound????? Or am I just tired and hungry at 3 in the morning?? YOU DECIDE, THAT'S THE MAGIC OF NONSENSE

AND SO, QSMPBLR AND ALL OTHERS WHO MAY SEE THIS

IT IS NOT A FAREWELL

BUT A SEE YOU LATER

So yeah

See you later

[scripted-downfall]

Ok but jpad has no emotional dept to his acting. Im currently studying acting. Like this is my college major. And when I say he has no depth, I mean he plays everything too hard. "The best emotion is suppressed emotion" is in acting 101 and he just does not get that. Jensen plays it bothe ways. Yes he can have clear emotions but a lot of time it's in his eyes or a nuance.

Then you've got Jpad who does the same thing every emotional scene. The same voice pattern for every line. The same eyes. The same... Everything.

And you'd think it'd get better with time.

Oh he's only 21, Jensen is 26, he'll grow as an actor.

Nope.

In fact.

I think he's better in the early seasons.

Come season 15 he still looks and acts like an immature college freshman just now with a beard.

Anyway...

Saw your post and had to share my own thoughts bc everyone I know thinks he's so good and I'm just HOW

Oh, hello!!! And thank you so much for the message; it's really interesting to hear from someone who has experience with acting as a vocation, instead of just from an observer's perspective. (I've done some acting --- in drama clubs and such --- but certainly nothing professional in any sense of the word; I have a sense of what is good/what works and what doesn't from an amateur's perspective, but the technical point of view you provide is awesome!)

I agree a hundredfold with your point about nuance: Padalecki's performance never really seems to have much. I mean, there's the occasional well-done gesture from time to time --- and I'll admit that the representation of Gadreel was sometimes decently good (largely, imo, because Gadreel was acted in a very earnest-bordering-on-deadpan manner... and, even then, I thought Tahmoh Penikett did far better) --- but Padalecki doesn't tend to do much other than cycle through the same basic Signs of Emotion. Indeed, he rarely manages to string them together believably, so it's more of a slideshow of "emotions" than it is an actual, seamless progression through them.

Your emphasis on sameness is precisely something I've tried (and, frankly, probably failed) to tell my friends of similar mentalities; I feel like you've put it into words admirably: he acts the same way whenever a specific emotion is needed. It's formulaic and flat. Anger = twitch jaw + flare nostril + (sometimes) a crinkle between eyebrows. Sadness = drawn-in eyebrows + squint really hard + sniff. "Compassion" = puppy-dog eyes + (what can only be termed his) Compassionate Face. It's like a math problem or something, not a real, human reaction.

I also definitely agree with your point about the earlier seasons: I do think that his earlier stuff was better. I don't know if he lost interest, gave up, or got cocky --- though I tend towards the last one, given his comments that (and this probably isn't a direct quote) "anyone could have played Dean" --- but his prowess, such as it had been, decreased sharply as the seasons went on.

I haven't exactly been subtle about the fact that I am very much a fan of Dean over Sam, so it probably should come as no surprise that I find his acting stellar. But Jensen is just a better actor in general. The nuance, like you said, is very rarely absent from his performances. Same with Misha; he's believable and realistic in a way that Padalecki never really is (imo). And yes, I recognize that some of this is personal preference, but I think there's just an objective difference between the acting of Padalecki and that of the other two.

Anyway, sorry for the long post... I'm sure you probably didn't intend to spark off a whole thing about this, and I doubt I added much, but I wanted to give your note the emphasis it deserved; your take is fascinating --- especially given, as I said, your experiences in the field --- and I also want to say thanks for sending it! I'm honored you reached out (and it'd be awesome to hear from you again, though no pressure) and I hope you're well!

[entityupdates]

Post-DI, what's next for Masking series?

This post is going to be attached to the last Chapter of Destructive Interference (written 3/18/2024).

First of all, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed. As I've said before, I don't really like posting WIPs, I thought I was going to finish DI far sooner than I actually did, so I'm going to make sure I finish the next installment in its entirety before I post it. But, I am going to take a break from this series first so I don't force myself and lose interest.

After I posted Masking, if you recall, I posted a fic called Immortality is Hard on the Mind. I'd originally intended to post a different submas/pla fic first and carry over the hype from Masking but I didn't like the ending so I abandoned it for several months. I picked it up again and I'm taking it in a new direction.

The fic is called We're Not the Monsters of Your Dreams. It's not posted yet but I have talked about it a little bit here. It's got some similarities to Masking (*cough* me turning Ingo into a creature) but thematically very different so I'm going to take my time on it to make sure I do it right. No real expected posting date, probably a few months, and I'm going to spend the next while working on it.

But back on Masking! Lots of ideas, nothing really in the works yet. When I finished Masking, a lot of you expressed interest in some kind of sequel about Ingo in the modern world and I think that is the logical next step but I'm not super inspired. Most of the ideas I have fall into 3 categories:

Sequel

Spin-Offs/What-Ifs

Other species AUs/Spin-Offs

I have ideas for a sequel with plot and stuff but I might just do something like 10 ideas from comments and write them as a slice of life fic.

Spin-Offs/What-Ifs would be more stuff like Destructive Interference that branch off from the main fic. What if Emmet went looking for Ingo? What if Ingo's ghost kept screaming? What if Ingo didn't leave Hisui? That sort of thing.

I'm most interested by non-Zoroark AUs but I do feel like I can write that just as a separate fic. Stuff like Alpha failed to make Ingo a Zorua so he became a Spiritomb wisp and Rei stuck him in the Odd Keystone or Hisuian Zoroark were used as blueprints for Type: Null so Ingo and his siblings ended up in the future via science revival.

I might do a poll? Let me know what you want to see though! I wrote down all the stuff you guys mentioned when I asked after finishing Masking and I plan to do something with it but I would like some recent stuff too.

[iturbide]

Are there any [games; shows; books; MEDIAS] that you really didn't think were For You but you wound up unexpectedly loving?

OH MAN I PROBABLY HAVE A LIST HONESTLY

Shows

Haunting of Hill House - When the series originally came out, I was browsing around for something to kill an afternoon with; since Halloween was coming up and horror stuff was out in force, I decided to give it a try on a whim. I've always had a bit of a rocky relationship with horror (I want to enjoy it, but I struggle with a lot of horror content I'm looking at you Dead Space), so I mostly expected to bounce off, but instead I was hooked by the end of the first episode and ended up bingeing the entire thing in a night, finishing somewhere after 1 AM (and suffering for it, but gladly). I've been hooked on Mike Flanagan's work ever since.

Bojack Horseman - Gun actually pointed me toward this series originally, having started watching it while I was off at a family reunion. I was curious and gave it a shot when I got back, and was not feeling it in the first few episodes -- but then it went off the deep end into something so thoughtful and provocative that I couldn't stop watching. I kept up with it through the end of the series and still think about it a lot.

Games

God of War 2018 - So I will be honest, most of my knowledge of God of War came from the original series, set in Greece and basically embodying the idea of Toxic Masculinity: The Game (and this is just what I know from hear-say -- I have the games, but I haven't actually played them yet). But in the lead-up to God of War: Ragnarok, I decided that since I had the 2018 update, I'd at least give that a try because I have a Thing for Norse Mythology -- and fell in love with it. The whole thing is just so touching and emotionally poignant that as soon as I finished I was ravenous for the sequel. Immediately started that one as soon as it came out, too, and loved every minute of it.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses - This is honestly hilarious looking back at it now, but I very clearly remember intending to pass on Three Houses when the pre-release info started coming out. The academy setting from the early previews sounded boring and despite the promise of an axe-wielding lady Lord, the general art direction with the uniforms just had too much of a modern feel to it that turned me off. Of course, then they dropped the timeskip preview and included Claude's Power of Friendship speech which is still one of my favorite things about the game and I decided I would go for it at launch and HERE WE ARE.

Books

The Folk of the Air Trilogy - Okay so this one was actually recommended to me by my teenage niece, and how can I not give it a try when we share a lot of similar interests in media? Read through the first one and low-key hated it (whoops) but I was determined to go back with an honest review of the whole thing so I went into the second book and the character dynamic evolved to such a degree that I was legitimately hooked by the end. Finished the third book in basically a day and absolutely loved everything about it, it's easily my favorite in the trilogy. It just goes to show that I should continue to trust her taste.