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stonyponyofficial · 1 year ago

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aw sweet! see what it says on the calendar?summer has sprung, it seems! some might say its time to show u sillies some songs for the season!

spotify link :3 :: yt link :3

full list + notes under the cut ^w^

Aluralura - Sweet Trip: this somg is soooooo fucking smooth. and cool. using the strictest definition of cool i can. perhaps cooler than cool. dk what ud even call that but this is it. sounds like i should be cruisin down the information highway to this straight up. feels like im being hit with a million little lightning bolts in. a good way? that doesnt sound good but it is. ull get it just listen pls just li

Babe of the Abyss - Girls Rituals: UGH devi.. i was so sad when this was pulled from streaming for a bit like some of the other singles from the upcoming girls rituals, but thankfully it did return :3 unlike the rest of those songs :/ eh this one is good enough to make up for it! so glittery and clicky and kinda unlike a lot of other songs devis done but it's v unique like that :3 the cover is interesting to me too bc it looks ai generated and it reminds me of a video devi made explaining her songwriting process a bit and after setting an arpeggiater (dk if i spelled that right lmao) to random she said she likes the collaboration between her and her computer and letting the computer decide some things like that :3 idk just a neat little factoid for ya

BALD! - JPEGMAFIA: was gonna put one of the tracks off scaring the hoes in this spot but, after deciding to go through peggys solo stuff a bit i liked this one even more than those ones :3 he has a very interesting and wide ranging sound tho so im really excitied to listen to more. uhh nothing else to say really. juts good song 👍

Cops and robbers - underscores: new underscores era hello anyone rockin wit it???? ME im rocking with jt thank u very much!! that one song count of three (you can eat $#@!), which ive heard is very good :3, was the end of the fishmonger era for them, where the "thing" was apparently that underscores wanted guitar on each track. still trying to find The thing about this eras sound, and maybe its the deeming it "the Wallsocket era", but to me everything just feels very buzzy, very electrically alive idk. like theres just this CRT/fluorescent light hum that backs the bass at the beginning. and the middle section just sounds like im listening to a fucking tesla coil make a pop song. shit Rocks. and Fucks. i give this one the Makes Violet Sing And Dance Around In Her Room Alone award this season, which is something i will absolutely be doing from now on and will not forget for the fall hehe :3

Dariacore Song Tutorial - leroy/Jane Remover: wait i thought there was YEAH there was dariacore on the last one, but as ive seen it so elegantly explained, this is a jane song more than a dariacore song. i mean obviously sonically right, no memey hyperpop mash up font, just some loud ass guitars n drums, but its good!!! jane literally incapable of missing.

Dress Down - Kaoru Akimoto: one of my many music moments recently has been getting into city pop more! i kiiinda only know the hits, of which this is definitely one of them, but ive seen my way around a bit B) (my cool sunglasses guy do not steal.) and even after my journey round the city.. pop, this is still one of my faves.

FELL - Varg^2™️ (im toolazy to make it superscript sowwy) & Bladee: since i began my drain journey i thought id listened to most if not all of bladees stuff besides like really old stuff that actually isnt good. like, bladee isnt good, but u get used to it as the saying goes and u kinda get to see his artistic vision unfold as he releases new stuff. but old bladee really isnt good. anyway imagine my delight and splendor when i see theres another Varg^2TM, Bladee collab... besides ecco and the rest of drain gang varg is probably my favorite bladee collaborator. in fact i almost put SHINIE, another collab from them, on some spring songs but it didnt make the cut unfortch. glad i could find something new from them to dig into mm yummy bladee :3

!¡! find the answer ¡!¡ - six impala: holy FUCK i am listening to six impala!

光の中へ (hikari no naka e)- Kessoku Band: yeah yeah i know there was kessoku band on the last one BUT THEY MADE MORE SO I LISTENED TO IT. they have such good push and pull with their tunes. like the moments of silence/slowing down before going all out. the quick drum interjections to pick things back up again. like nijikas fuckin getting it!!!! actually i read something recently about the critical reception to kessoku band, the self titled album, that makes a similar point. they were saying that although the album is just good j-rock on its own, the strength of the individual instruments and the texture of the songs themselves embodies the characters in your mind. like i listened to the beginning a bit closer one time and heard the little shreds the guitar was giving at the top and it instantly made me think like "oh shit bocchis fucking tearing it up!" soooo good instantly one of my faves from them.

It Was A Good Day - Ice Cube: fuuuuuuck i cant fucking find it i wasngonna put it here bc its the reason i added it to my playlist and have been listening to it so mch recently but. i cant find it. it was a top text bottom text cat meme edit of this song, in the same vein as that one of death grips' hacker. a very good morning walk song btw, cuz even tho it would be very easy for that situation to feel trite, im like shit. mama cooked the breakfast with no hog! todays gonna be a good day. it usually isnt with where im heading on my morning walk but. eventually itll be a good day! and the iced cube told me that.

Les Os - The Unicorns: sooooo this song is extremely horny to me sorry. also very kinda toxic t4t core but thats juts meeeeeee :3... + the singers voice is very similar in register to mine when in singing so it makes it v easy to project who daid that.... uhh anywag in the ol violet amv machine (what i call my brain) i imagine the singer with the mic stand tilted back between their legs, perhaps a cheeky little leg wrap around like sexy singers tend to do, as they stare down from the stage into yuor eyes specifically. asking u directly, out of everyone. tell me bout ur love affairs.. tell me bout ur moral resignations... so then u meet after the show and [transmission lost]

LOU - whoTF (Folie & Forget Basement), Fraxiom: [transmission regained] and from the production stylings of new hyperpop ish duo whoTF comes another lyrical miracle from the mind and pen of fraxiom music!!! includes such bangers as "I’m blowing up your car/I see Mercedes boom/I’m off four drinks of alcohol/Pissing in the ladies room!" rhyming "you can watch a youtube video" with "get your fitted tutu biddie hoe" (LIKE?) and also the amazing outro from which i could just paste the whole thing but this part resonates especially "I need to become alive, in the morning, like a rooster!/Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee and foodstuffs"..."Estradiol, finasteride, adderall, and thc im juiced up!" making rooster rhyme with foodstuff and juiced up and also everything else in that part god. they dont call them fraxiom fucking music for nothing. um but also whoTF is v good, for one without frax that is still good listen to cigs up as well :3

Natural Disasters - Enon: love me a song with a strange guitar hook! ive heard this bands like top 2 songs (which include this one) bc it was just a night of spotify surfing, but those two songs are quite good. very boucy, good energy. makes me wanna do the bounce in place dance and flail my arms as i sing only the chorus and maybe try to approximate the sounds of the lyrics i dont know. sounds like a good time to me!

Overflow - Een Glish, Tyfty, Ben Glish: eek! so ai voiced songs specifically rap is very good to me. that family ties edit with spongebob and patrick is probably one of my favorite pieces of music. but this artist is v interesting to me :3 een glish is a vocaloid (? not sure if entirely correct but u get what im getting at) made from the google translate ladys voice. and its GOOD this one specifically is very catchy but she has bars too!!! check out rap game bob ross too, and also the remix with bars from SONIC HELLO? im giving this one the Sound of the Summer distinction bc not only is it a very summery jam, but it is the one im really telling u to check out if u get the chance. lots of good jams here.

Scatman - Scatman John (DJ Kadozer 2003 Remix): (why did i accidentally type out 'evil remix' at first?) sooooo i was having a bit of a scatman moment recently, as was documented in THIS other epic music post u should go check out if u havent already hihhii :3 tho she TOTALLY STOLE the one i was gonna do, Scatman's World, cuz everyone knows scatman right? skabadaba bweebopbopbadop bop? bopbop badop bop? yeah that one! but.... have u ever heard scatman. like this???? probably not... all im sayin... scat vocals/eurobeat foundation translated to this stabbing edm remix.. its quite good. good enough that the first few seconds alone get me to smile big like this :)

Shop - Toby Fox: songs to order a You. Pick. 2... to...... haha but seriously guys this ones just a really chill one :3 i can alwasy hear the you. pick. 2. part in the song bc theyre punctuated exactly the same way its kinda hell. im chillin. like usual. listenin to undertale musicand then how boutta You. Pick. 2. with some brawwwcolli cheddah. onsecond th... and then were done with that and back to the normal undertale song! like an angle in the knight.. or tiers in the reign...... here and then gone forever. truly, ephemeral..............................

The Flag Is Raised - Asian Glow: in case we couldn't drain enough this summer, asian glow put out this really neat interpretation of one of my faves off bladee and ecco2k's recent masterpiece, Crest. follows in the footsteps of many a bladee cover for me where the cover often plays over the actual song in my head. like i expect certain isntrumentation when i listen to the original that is only present in the cover but that just means theyre both good ! the guitars and the cymbals all over this make this version feel so shiny... aww and they use the little sigil ring from Crest on the cover for it too :"3

THE FLIES - Operation Sodasteal: think i mentioned this in the tags of a post that im sure uve all read before coming to class today, but ive been listening to a lot of these guys recently! just some furry emo nightcore rock that sounds plucked right out of 2007. the one vocalist, slaney(in)famous i think? im not confident which is which, has such a good voice for it too like they have all the good vocal inflections of ur typical lead pop punk vocalist, and i usually just end up singing the lyrics like them bc im just a silly little mirror huh?

This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - Talking Heads: ooobh i got plany off time....... yeag ive been getting down with this jam recently :3 another good morning walk tune. been trying to get into talking heads a bit more too bc every song i hear is soooo good. like i almost put the girl wants to be with the girls here bc of that OTHER meme edit i actually dont remember if it was lolcats again. it was specifically the "girls are getting into.. abstract analysis!" OHHBB it was a rose homestuck thing bc i memba her sitting at her lappytop :3 doin some fuckin abstract analysis i suppose..

Tin Man - feeble little horse: this is another single turned favorite-song-on-the-full-album-bc-i-took-too-long-making-this-list-again-lol. i love what theyre doin to these guitars maan theyre really fuckin em up in there..... also i love that this band just calls its music guitar music. its fuckin true.

Vicinity of Obscenity - System Of A Down: songs that have done irreversible damage to my psyche and syntax. i will bust out a banana banana banana terracotta banana terracotta terracotta pie when the fuck ever just let me know the time and place my man. it is such a vocal stim for me. this whole song is honestly. some of the silliest nu metal u can get ur paws on i checked (she is lying to u again tho it is quite silly with it 😳) + had to go with the 2008 youtube editor lyric video for the youtube playlist obviously.

ahmmmmm so thanks u all once again for enjoying some more songs with me (summer edition)!!!!! <3333 see yall...... in the fall.. with some more songs hehe (or perhaps for summer......2! who knowce :3 the summers still got plany off time as some might say)

#violet originals #some songs #sorry i keep telling u the song is good over and over they just ARE #catch me putting a song in here 'now this one just sucks. no embellishments here.'

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letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked · 6 years ago

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Words On My Skin (Part 10)

Bucky Barnes x Reader Soulmate AU

A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me LOL I am a really slow writer! I’ve just been really busy, lately! And having technology issues! But I’m really happy with all of your replies! Feedback gives me life and makes me want to keep writing! I love reading your comments!

I made this suuuper long, not only since I’m an asshole who keeps procrastinating… but also because I have no self-control LOL It’s over 5200 words LOL

Warnings: exercise (should be a warning because BLECKH), swearing, barely edited… IDK.

Main Masterlist // WOMS Masterlist

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Bucky: I’m sorry. Please talk to me.

Bucky: I know that you talk to me about work stuff, but I miss talking about other things… I’m sorry for pushing you.

Bucky: I just get worried about what happened when we met happening, again. I want you to be able to defend yourself, because I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt… I’m sorry. Please, come see me.

Bucky: What’s wrong? It’s 2am, and I can feel you through the bond… Are you okay?

Bucky: Can I please come see you? Steve said you looked tired, and now I’m worried…

Bucky: I don’t like communicating through FRIDAY. Can we please talk? I miss you.

Bucky: You know, we live a room apart… you can’t avoid me forever… Plus, we kind of work together…

Bucky: DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST DIVE INTO AN EMPTY OFFICE TO AVOID STEVE AND I??

Bucky: Okay. I’ll leave you alone… I’m sorry.

Bucky: I’m going on a mission, today. Be safe while I’m gone, please.

God, you were such an asshole…

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk to him. Not at all. You wanted to talk to him so badly, that it felt as if you had someone squeezing your heart like a goddamn stress ball.

Hell, you were a fucking stress ball.

You missed him…

You missed talking to him, from the stupid shit to the deep, dark secrets.

You’d felt like you’d taken two steps forward and about one thousand steps back. The agreement to start opening up to each other was supposed to include shit like whatever happened in the gun range… but, if you were being honest with yourself, you were completely embarrassed. You’d totally had a friggin’ meltdown in front of him, after the stupid gun safety bullshit, but you weren’t even sure why.

You didn’t understand what you’d seen.

Remembered?

You weren’t even sure if it was a memory.

You’d been avoiding Bucky for an entire week, and yes – embarrassingly enough – you’d panicked and jumped into an empty office to have a mental breakdown about how you had no idea what to say to the man.

Handshake your fear.

That was something you’d always told yourself when times were rough, but it seemed that the words were starting to lose meaning… You said them more, as of late, than you ever have since you first heard the stupid phrase. Ever since the shit with HYDRA began.

You didn’t blame Bucky. Hell no. You couldn’t. He was just as much of a victim of HYDRA as you were.

No.

More than you were.

He’d been a victim for decades.

You didn’t blame him for your meltdown, either. He had nothing to apologize for.

You did.

You were the chicken shit that decided that the best way to deal with what happened was to avoid him, making him feel like shit. Which was not your intent. At all. You merely meant to deal with your shit in privacy… not to have him blaming himself for ‘pushing you’.

How was he supposed to know that you were going to go all melt-down on his ass?

You stared at your cellphone, the gut-wrenching feeling of guilt making tears well up in your eyes – blurring the words. You bit your lip, keeping it from doing that embarrassing wobble it did when you were about to cry. You’d wanted to talk to him, reply to his texts, and go back to having lunch together every day. You were sick of stress-cleaning, and stress-working. You just wanted your soulmate back.

You were a goddamn idiot.

“Ms. L/n,” FRIDAY’s voice startled you from your moping, “Captain Rogers is out of his meeting and will meet you in the gym.”

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” You replied, after swallowing the lump in your throat, and clearing it. “Tell him I’ll be right down.”

You turned to your computer, putting it back onto its lock screen, and glanced back at your phone.

You sighed, slowly breathing out and closing your eyes. “Just… Handshake your fear, Y/n.”

You: Please, be safe.

Your finger hovered over the ‘send’ button, debating on if you should send the message, or not.

You wanted to tell him to be safe, in person. If he was going on a mission – you’d also found out it was a freaking solo mission – you didn’t want there to be the possibility of him getting hurt, or worse, and you ignoring him and avoiding him. What if it was the last time you ever saw him? What if-

Stop it, Y/n.

Don’t even fucking think that.

“FRIDAY?” You called out, setting the phone down and gathering your items into your gym bag, “Did Bucky leave for his mission, yet?”

“Sargent Barnes left approximately fourteen minutes and thirty five seconds ago.” The AI replied, sending another pang of guilt in your chest.

Shit…

Well, it wasn’t quite what you wanted – or what Bucky deserved – but you needed to say something.

You deleted the message, starting over.

You: We’ll talk when you get back. I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. Be safe, please. You still owe me at least 3 dates. I’ll even cook you a juicy lucy as an apology for being an emotional basket case this week.

You didn’t even hesitate to hit the ‘send’ button.

Your phone pinged with a reply before you could even leave your office.

Bucky: Deal. I’ll even try eel, if it means I get to see your face. See you when I get back.

You: You’re going to wish you never even mentioned the eel. HAHA!

Bucky: Shit.

You: Language!

Bucky: Stop hanging out with Steve. He’s rubbing off on you.

Bucky: I have to shut my phone off, now… I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back. See you, soon.

You felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You sighed in relief, slipping your phone into your gym bag and shutting the door behind you as you made your way to the part of the building where the training facilities were located. Your fingers brushed along the smooth skin of your inner wrist, thankful that you’d taken a step towards apologizing to Bucky for freaking out on him and ignoring him – like a goddamn teenager.

Speaking of teenagers…

“FRIDAY? Can you send a text message to Peter’s phone and remind him that he needs to come to the facility and sign his mission report? Also, tell him that his aunt’s birthday gift is sitting in my office, and he’s got a test on Tuesday.” You spoke into your watch, ignoring the weird looks you always received from the other workers in the building. They weren’t quite over the fact that the Avengers’ assistant ended up being the soulmate of Bucky Barnes. “Also, remind Tony that it’s almost lunchtime, and I put a container of lunch in the fridge in the lab. He also has a meeting with Secretary Ross at 4pm and remind him not to taunt the U.S. Secretary of State. Add a nice ‘please’ at the end, too.”

“Right away, Ms. L/n.” Friday responded through your watch’s speaker.

“Man, you’re bossy.” You hear from behind you, snarky tone making you roll your eyes. “Thank god you’re not my assistant.”

You turned to Caleb, a smirk lifting your lips as you shook your head. “Do tour guides get assistants?”

His hand flew to his chest in mock hurt, dark brows pulling together and mouth agape, “You wound me, L/n. I’ll have you know that I am an actual agent, thank you very much. I’m in the security department… just… manning the front desk. I just needed a job with stable hours, after Claire moved in.”

Caleb was a saint. After the death of his sister and brother-in-law, he took it upon himself to gain custody of his niece, take a desk job, and raise Claire as his own. She was two at the time of the accident that took the life of her parents. She’d been with Caleb ever since.

Five years later, and she was Caleb’s little princess.

“How did your date with Leah go?” You asked, as he followed you towards the training facilities, hands in his pockets.

“Not good.” He sighed, head falling back in annoyance as his footsteps became heavier. “She talked about her ex the whole time. Then, even though I was going to pay for the date since I was the one who asked her to come out with me, she told me she didn’t even bring her wallet. You know why? Because she was expecting me to pay.” He scoffed, trudging along after you as you passed by the regular training room – towards the Avengers’ private training area. “Like… I know I was paying anyways, but how rude.”

“I told you she was a bad seed.” You snorted, scanning your badge to gain access to the facility. “Anyways, I promised Cap that I’d be his work-out buddy, today. He probably wants to go on a run.”

“How the hell are you going to manage that? You hate cardio.”

“I know.” You grimaced, leaning against the opened door. “Anyways, tell Claire I loved the picture she drew me, and it’s up on my wall. Her and I need some girl-talk, soon, so bring her by sometime. Her and I can make glitter slime, again.”

“Please get her to like something other than that slime crap.” He groaned, turning on his heel and heading down the hall. “My kitchen table has glue, shaving cream, little glitter piles, and dawn dish soap all over it. I have more contact solution than I know what to do with. I don’t even wear contacts.”

“Not my fault you can’t say no to her!” You call back with a chuckle, watching as he stuck up his middle finger, before rounding the corner. Your chuckle turned into a loud yelp when you turned around, Steve standing right in front of you with his arms crossed. “Holy shit fuck, Steve. Do I need a little bell for you, too? I seriously bought one for Bucky.”

“Who was that?” Steve asked with a frown, eyebrows pulled together as he stared in the direction that Caleb had gone. “You’re late.”

“That’s my friend, Caleb. He works the security desk.” You raise an eyebrow, scooting by so you could set your bag on the bench and stretch on the mats. You could see Natasha doing a one-on-one training with one of the female agents, teaching her how to use her small stature as an advantage to beat her opponent – who just so happened to be Clint. “Anyways, I’m only five minutes late. I was… texting Bucky.”

His face lit up at the mention of you talking to Bucky, grin stretching across his features. “You mean you’re finally done ignoring him?”

Well fuck, Cap.

You paused, a small lump forming in your stomach. Maybe it was a bad idea, agreeing to work out with Bucky’s best friend when you were being an asshole to him all week. “I wasn’t… ignoring him… I was avoiding him.”

“Why?” Steve frowned, sitting down on the mat across from you, helping you with your stretching. “Straighten your back.”

You followed his advice, trying to loosen up your muscles before they got overworked, and straightening your back. “I was embarrassed.”

“About what?”

“Boy, aren’t you full of a lot of questions, today?” You raise an eyebrow, lump moving from your throat to a knot in your stomach. “Anyways, didn’t Bucky already tell you?”

“Nope.” He shook his head, blonde hair flopping into his eyes. He needed a haircut, as well. You should schedule him one. “He said that it was your business, but he felt bad because he pushed you, or something. I don’t know. He wasn’t very specific.” He pushed your legs together, pushing down gently on your tops of your feet then pushing back up. “All I know is he’s been moping all week, and he didn’t want to say anything about what happened in the gun range.” He motioned for you to lean forward, “Touch your toes.”

You leaned forward, legs flush with the floor and leaning forward to grasp the tips of your shoes – feeling the pull through your hamstrings, “I… didn’t mean to make him think I was ignoring him.” You sighed, but it came out more as a huff as you leaned as far forward as you could. “I was embarrassed about how I reacted, and didn’t know what to say… I’ve never… I’ve never had anyone care so much, before.”

“He does.” Steve heaved himself up, holding out his hands to help you off the ground. “Care, I mean.”

“I know.” You crossed your arms over your chest, watching as he stretched his arms behind his head. “I’m an asshole.”

“No, you’re not.” He snorted, leading you over to the weights, handing you the ten pound weights as he grabbed obnoxiously large weights on the other end of the rack. “Strength first, then cardio.”

“Why cardio? Are you punishing me?” You whined, copying his form as you started reps – careful of your shoulder injury. “It’s because I’m an asshole, isn’t it?”

“You’re not an… can you stop calling yourself that?” He huffed, barely breaking a sweat with his annoyingly large weights. “Cardio is good for you. Not only that, but if there’s ever an emergency… you need to run. Fast.”

You bit your lip, staying silent for a few reps. He had a point. Who would’ve thought that being the soulmate of a former assassin turned Avenger would be so freaking dangerous, right? Duh, you idiot. There is literally no job more dangerous than theirs. They had more enemies than you could’ve ever imagined. Also, being their freaking assistant? Have you lost your damn mind? Of course, it’s dangerous, they literally told you from the beginning that there was a chance that your life would be in danger. You should probably get over… whatever the fuck there was to get over… and learn how to properly shoot a... gun.

“Do you-” You paused, gulping down the lump caught in your throat and steadying your breathing, “- Do you think that… Something bad will happen to me? Do you think… Is HYDRA still gunning for my death or capture?”

He stopped his reps, sitting down on the bench and lowering his weights onto the floor. “What’s this about?”

“Well…” You set your little weights onto the bench, arms starting to burn from your reps, “Bucky wants me to learn how to shoot a gun. I’m not allowed out of the confines of the compound without security, and you’re training me to defend myself.” You sat down on the mat, thankful that you hadn’t completely started sweating, yet. “It just seems like… there’s more to the story than what I’m being told.”

“There is.”

You jumped at the voice coming from behind you, as Natasha walked over to grab her water bottle that was sitting on the bench a few feet away.

“Natasha-”

“No, Steve.” You cut him off, a frown forming on your face. “I want to know what she’s talking about.”

“She deserves to know, Steve.” Natasha took a long pull from her water, sweat dripping down the smooth skin of her chest. God, why couldn’t you be blessed with beauty like hers? “It’s her safety.”

You raised an eyebrow, a surge of annoyance running through your veins as your jaw tightened. “Steve?”

“Okay…” He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and leaning his head back on the wall, muttering that Bucky was going to kill him.

“Bucky knows?” You growled, springing up from your spot on the floor and crossing your arms over your chest in anger, shoulders tensing. “What the hell is happening? What’s so bad that it has Bucky flipping out over my safety and all of you apparently not being allowed to tell me?”

“HYDRA had some… files on you.” Steve looked up, light eyes meeting yours. His lips were pursed in frustration. Probably frustrated that he was the one who had to tell you, and not Bucky. Join the fucking club, bub. “They were pretty thorough.”

“What do you mean thorough?” You snapped, nails digging into the skin of your palms as you fought to keep your cool. “How much shit do they know about me?”

“Well… I didn’t see all the files.” Steve hesitated, leaning his elbows on his knees and scratching at the stubble that was forming along his jaw. “We didn’t want to invade your privacy.”

“How. Much.” You repeated, a small pang of pain in your chest, every time your heart took a beat. You felt like you kept getting stabbed in the chest with a long toothpick, over and over. “How much shit do they have on me?”

“Too much.” Natasha replied for him, leaning against the wall while watching the exchange between the two of you. “They have too much information on you.”

“Were you able to get the files and delete them off the servers?” You pinched the bridge of your nose, pain radiating from your chest to your stomach. If you weren’t careful, you were going to give yourself a goddamn ulcer from stress. “How many people do you think had access to my information?”

“We can’t be sure. We deleted what they had at the base, but… we don’t know if there are any physical copies or who’s seen the files.” Steve answered, standing back up from his spot on the bench. “How about we talk about this when Bucky gets back?”

“How long has Bucky known?” You glared at the two of them, voice cracking at the end of your question.

“I think… no matter what my answer is gets him in trouble.” Steve bit his lip, moving to put the unused weights back in their spot on the rack. “How about we just move straight to cardio? We can do strength later.”

“You guys can’t keep shit like this from me, Steve!” You ignored his awful suggestion of cardio, feeling like you could cry from frustration. “Not only am I Bucky’s soulmate, but I’m your fucking assistant! I leave the compound to run errands, I fill out your paperwork, I go to your meetings when you’re gone, and I have family and friends outside from the compound! I can’t just be kept in the dark about this shit! What if they sneak up on me when I’m running an errand? What if they go after my parents? What if they go after Farida or her husband? Or her baby? What if they-”

“Okay, Y/n, stop.” Natasha glared at you from her spot against the wall, tone demanding. Her usual coldness far icier than usual, making you stop and take a breath. “First of all, you knew what you signed up for when you took this job. An assistant job for the Avengers? You knew the risks of getting involved with us. And need I remind you that you’re yelling at your boss?”

Technically, Pepper Potts was your boss.

“Natasha-” Steve tried to intervene, seeing the situation start to escalate further as Natasha took a step towards you.

“Second of all-” She continued, also ignoring Steve, “- We’re taking preventative measures so that you can protect yourself. What happens on a mission is technically none of your goddamn business, so this little temper tantrum you’re having is pointless. Bucky didn’t want to worry you, so he didn’t want us to tell you. Too bad. Take it up with your goddamn soulmate and stop whining about it to us.”

“What the hell is your problem, Natasha?” You shook your head, ignoring how close she was to you. Trying to intimidate you.

“Y/n-” Steve shook his head, but Natasha didn’t let him finish.

“Your little helpless girl act is my problem!” She growled, taking another step towards you and starting to invade your personal space. Helpless girl act? Is she for real? “I don’t trust it. She finds out after a few hours of knowing us that she’s Bucky’s soulmate, and suddenly she’s being attacked in the same day? She gets drugged at a bar, and no one – not even trained agents – saw anything? HYDRA suddenly has all these files on her three weeks after we meet her? I don’t trust it.”

“Natasha-” Steve tried again, but you cut him off.

“You mean to tell me that you’ve all fucking known about these files for months?” You shouted incredulously, taking a step forward and throwing your hands up in frustration. “What the hell!”

“Back the fuck up, L/n.” Natasha hissed, raising an eyebrow, “I’ll only say it once.”

“LADIES!” Steve yelled, pushing himself in the middle of where you stood toe to toe with her, making you both take a step back. “Knock it off. Now.” He turned to Natasha, jaw tight with anger, “Go take a walk, Nat. Now.”

She huffed, rolling her eyes as she swiped her water bottle off the bench and stormed off, red hair swinging behind her.

Steve turned to you, shaking his head and crossing his arms. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know.” You sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. That was completely out of line. “I just… got mad. I don’t understand what I have to do to get her to trust me.”

“Well, channel your anger into something else.” His tense posture loosened up, a little, as he calmed down. “As for Nat… She’ll come around. She doesn’t trust easily. She’s always been that way.”

“I hope you’re right.” You followed him towards the treadmills. “Also, I’m not going to let this go. You guys seriously can’t keep things like this from me. I’m not saying this as your assistant or colleague. I’m saying this as Bucky’s soulmate. I don’t need surprises.” You leaned against the treadmill, dreading cardio. At least your anger was starting to dissipate a little. She just freaked out on you because she doesn’t trust you. You would just have to prove your trust to her. “If I am going to be dealing with HYDRA and your enemies the rest of my life, I need to know what I’m getting myself into. It’s different as an assistant. It’s not as… personal.”

“I understand.” Steve replied, letting out a long sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry we kept it from you. Don’t be mad at Bucky… he was concerned that it would upset you. He didn’t want to scare you.”

“I’m already scared.” You shook your head, hopping up on the machine and starting it at a normal-paced walk. Your nightmares hadn’t let up. They were worse, now, because your father’s bloody face had replaced the monster. You’d never felt scared of your father, before, and suddenly he was in your nightmares. “That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t know.”

“You’re right.” Steve started his machine at a brisk walk, warming up for his usual sprinting. “Also, if it makes you feel any better… I trust you…” He sped the machine up a little more, gesturing for you to do the same. “Not just as my assistant, but as the soulmate of my best friend.”

It did.

It made you feel a little better.

“Thanks, Steve.”

Fuck this cardio, you wanted Chipotle.

-----------------------------------

“Ms. L/n,” FRIDAY interrupted your dinner with Wanda in the kitchen, making the both of you jump. “Sargent Barnes is due to arrive in approximately five minutes.”

You lit up, feeling like you could breathe again, knowing that Bucky was coming back and was – hopefully – unharmed. “Thanks, FRIDAY. Any injuries?”

“None that require medical attention.”

You breathed out a long sigh, thankful that he was okay and glancing over to Wanda, “To be continued? I want to hear about your time with Vision.”

“To be continued.” She chuckled, sliding your plate over to her side of the table and digging in to your chicken, “Go see your man. You should finally kiss him. I’ll be disappointed if you don’t. It would be totally romantic. Some make-up romance.”

“Shut up.” You groaned at her, jumping out of your chair and thankful that you were not still in your work attire and heels. You’d been forced to take a shower, due to Tony accidentally spilling motor oil all down the front of you while you helped him with a project. “We’ll talk later.”

“Kiss him!” She yelled after you, as you took off in the direction of the staircase. “DO IT!”

You tried not to run, not wanting to make any of the agents believe that there was any danger, but you walked so briskly that some of the agents stared at you, anyways. That, and they always stared at you. You were Bucky’s soulmate, after all.

Ignoring them, you felt excitement bubbling up in your chest, not sure if it was yours, Bucky’s, or a combination of the two of you. Either way, you just wanted to see his face.

It had been a whole thirty hours since he’d left for his solo mission, and over seven days since you’d talked to him in person. You missed him. You just wanted to hug his stupid ass and steal him away from the team for the rest of the month… sadly, he’d have to go to debrief with Steve and Fury.

“Where’s the fire?” Tony joked as you jogged by him and Pepper standing in the hallway.

“Leave her alone, Bucky’s back from Puebla, today.” You heard Pepper scold, before rounding the corner.

Puebla? As in Mexico?

The hell was he doing in Mexico?

You yanked open the door leading to the landing pad, realizing that the jet was already landed and parked.

When you spotted him, your heart leapt, freezing you on the spot.

Bucky was standing there, talking to one of the mechanics, arm gleaming in the setting sun. Even though it was fairly brisk in the fall weather, he had removed the top half of his suit, standing there in a tight undershirt and his tactical pants.

As if he sensed your presence, his head turned, and his eyes went straight to your frozen form – which was shivering with your damp hair, tee shirt, and leggings. His face lit up into a large grin, and he gave you a small wave as he finished what he was saying to the mechanic.

He shook the woman’s hand, turning away from her and jogging over to where you were currently gawking. His face was streaked with dirt, little tendrils of hair falling into his face but promptly being pushed away by his dark, vibranium hand. “Hi.”

“Hi.” You replied, unable to keep your lips from lifting into a large grin. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

You couldn’t help yourself, as you rushed at him. You jumped up, throwing your arms around his neck as he caught you with a small laugh, and you buried your face into his neck. The stubble that had grown in the last week scratched against your cheek, as you breathed in his smell. A rush of relief shot through your veins, the skin of your tattoo tingling, as you tightened your arms around him. “I’m sorry.”

His arms, which had wrapped around your middle to hold you up, tightened as his cheek pressed against the side of your head. “I’m sorry, too.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” You replied into his neck, voice muffled as tears welled up in your eyes. Why the fuck were you crying? “I’m an asshole.”

“No, you’re not.” He murmured, setting you down far enough so your feet touched the ground, but not letting go of you. “I’m an asshole for pushing you, even though you said you didn’t want to shoot guns. I never should’ve pushed.”

“Neither of us knew that I would freak out like that.” You sighed, never wanting to leave the cocoon of warmth that was surrounding you from his body. He was like your own personal heater in the brisk, fall weather. “I shouldn’t have ignored you. I was embarrassed about how I freaked out. I’m not good at talking about my own feelings… I didn’t know what to say, and I should’ve just talked to you. We agreed to talk about deep stuff, more. I’m sorry.”

He pulled back a little, after hearing the crack in your voice and realizing that there were tears wetting the collar of his shirt. “Hey, why are you crying, darlin’?”

You chuckled, leaving your arms around his neck as he gently wiped away your tears with his thumbs, the contrast of his warm flesh and cool vibranium leaving goosebumps on your arms – a shiver running down your spine. “Honestly? I don’t know. I never cry this much. You’re ruining me.”

“Crybaby.” He teased, pulling you back into his chest and pressing his face against the crown of your head. “Steve told me about the fight with Natasha… are you okay?”

You nodded, sagging a little in his embrace. “She… has her reasons for not trusting me. I get it. I feel bad about arguing with her.”

“Steve said she was being a bitch.” He snorted, vibranium hand running along the top of your back. “I should’ve told you about the files. I just… didn’t want to worry you. I could already tell that… the nightmares…”

“I forgive you. Just keep me informed, from now on, okay?” You shifted, leaning back so you could examine his face. “So… Puebla?”

“It was a useless trip. The lead was a dead end.” He sighed, hands shifting so they were holding your waist. He gave you a small smile, eyes crinkling in the corners in that cute way that they always did when he smiled. Even though his skin was covered in dirt and sweat, you had the urge to kiss him all over the face about a million times… but you weren’t quite in that part of your relationship, yet. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” You giggled, feeling giddy that you were finally in his arms, again.

“Like the sun shines outta’ my ass.”

You shook your head with a snort, rolling your eyes at him. “That was… colorful.”

“What can I say? I’m a real charmer.” He laughed, leaning forward so his forehead was pressed against yours. Your eyes slipped closed, as you felt the warmth of his breath against your face. “I really missed you, though. I… kinda’ felt empty all week. Like I was missing a piece of me.”

“Me, too.”

“I kind of can’t live without you, so please don’t go anywhere, okay?” He admitted, hands gliding down to the curve of your hips, making your breath hitch.

“I… can’t live without you, either.�� You smiled, eyes still closed you felt the tip of his nose just barely brush against yours, and your breathing increased in speed, “I’m… happy you’re my soulmate.”

“I-”

“Ms. L/n,” FRIDAY interrupted him from your watch, making you jump back a little. “There seems to be a situation at the front entrance, and Mr. Stark requests your presence.”

“What the hell?” You frowned, letting Bucky go with a small huff of irritation. “FRIDAY, what’s going on at the front gate?”

“A woman claiming to be your mother has requested access through the checkpoint,” FRIDAY explained, “She refuses to leave until she sees you.”

“My mother?” Your body tensed, a feeling of dead leaving a pit in your stomach and making Bucky frown in confusion, “She’s… She’s here?”

Oh, shit…

Part 11

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