#i posted this by accident and then had to private it LOL

[willowser]

angsty to begin with bc i love to talk about fighting with bakugou LOL but it gets lighter, i promise 💕✨️

you can track katsuki's heated discovery through his footsteps.

the front door closes harshly enough that the house trembles, echoing down your spine at his arrival; it feels sudden, now, though—looking at the clock—you've been waiting for hours. his day has no doubt been just as tumultuous as yours, but his resounding frustration—both new and old—bleeds through the walls all too well.

it means something that he doesn't take off his boots; what's always been regarded as a criminal offense now bares his impatience, reveals how full his mind is of the things he needs to say. underneath the comforter, your toes curl, heart thudding heavy as his heels as he lumbers for the bedroom.

—only to come up empty.

an indistinguishable curse shoots from his mouth, across the house. first murmured and then chanted over and over again as he tears down the hall and back into the living room. you've left your shoes out for this reason, as well as a plate in the sink and a candle burning on the end table beside the couch.

you're still here; you want him to know that.

it's silent long enough for you to realize you're holding your breath, straining to hear his every move. your cheeks are salted with tears—both new and old—and you wipe at them cautiously, as if such a movement could give you away; it's not that you want to stay hidden, but you're nervous for what will unfold, when he finds you.

not because you're afraid of him, never of him, but—you just don't want to fight anymore.

the door to the guest room is thrown open suddenly, with an urgency that makes your heart pound and your eyes snap shut.

katsuki smells like work, strongly; sweet and musky like sweat; a once-roaring campfire; evidence of the city—smog and fried food and some amalgamation of strangers—soaked into the fabric of his hero clothes. you sniff once, wet and distracted, and it gives you away instantly.

the sound makes him sigh, though from relief or annoyance, you can't tell. maybe both. a weight he's placed on your chest dares to lighten as he shuffles closer, no doubt dragging mud across the carpet, and the warmth of his body so close is all too alluring; you peek up at him once he sits at your side, but he's just leaning his elbows onto his knees, staring at the wall.

"guess you're sleepin' in here, then."

this bed lacks the indentation you've worn into katsuki's mattress, but the comfort of it wouldn't help you to sleep anyway. not after today. after all that's been said.

your voice is very small when you speak, tip-toeing. "yeah, i think i will."

he shakes his head like you're being ridiculous, and you try not to let the action prod your still tender wounds. a harsh hand runs over his face and through his hair, tugging off the mask that had been buried there. it dangles loosely between his fingers as he fiddles with it, keeping his eyes from you as long as he can.

"y'want me to stay in here too?"

you don't. it's the whole reason you moved your pillow into the guestroom to begin with and you think he should know that, but he's still—trying. a fresh frog develops in your throat at the sentiment; it's always the softer side or katsuki that packs the heavier punch.

a weighted silence settles in the space between you, the words sour in your mouth. for a brief and tense moment, you wonder if you can get away with not saying it, without having to reject him—but then he peeks at you over his shoulder, all smoldering embers. waiting.

"that's okay," you offer a weak smile in an attempt to soften the blow. "you can have the room tonight."

katsuki rears, resisting with a huff. "well, i don't have to. and you—we can—y'don't have to sleep alone."

still trying; you can hear it in his voice, well-hidden beneath his exasperation, a slight tremble born from the fear that you'll leave him in an empty bed. so far removed from the tone used with you this morning.

you can still see his face when you close your eyes: how red it gets, the vein in his neck that swells with blood when he's yelling, lips curled like he's so angry he could spit. the argument hadn't started on any serious note, but you had something to say and so did he, and it went on and on until you were fighting less about the subject matter and more about each other. rights and wrongs that had been left unattended for too long, that had begun to fester.

it's not like you were particularly soft-spoken either, but—like most things, with katsuki—you didn't stand a chance against him.

"i know, but," you bite your lip and lose your words, settling for a shrug that only serves to annoy him further.

"fine," he grumbles, shooting up from the mattress to storm out of the room. "whatever. goodnight."

the door follows closely behind him, banging against the frame with less force than it could have, though the silence he leaves behind feels just as painful. you roll onto your back to wipe at the fresh wave of tears that pool in your eyes, groaning quietly into the emptiness.

fighting with katsuki isn't the hardest part. making up is.

it took long enough for him to place his heart comfortably in your hands, to reach the point where he felt safe enough to share his feelings with you, but his trepidations lie in wait; any sort of rejection when he's already so vulnerable is liable to have him locking his every last door.

and you know he doesn't mean it; it's instinctual, a defense mechanism he's kept in place all his life. retreating away to hide, when he's sorry and asking for absolution, is the safest route for him.

when you're finally done pawing at your eyes, the shower sounds from down the hall and you imagine him in there, head bowed under the violently hot water, trying to wash his frustrations away. his skin is always so pink and tender when he gets out, and you feel a pang of loneliness at what you'll miss in a bed without him. for tonight, all you have to hold is the idea of him, and you listen closely to the stream as if it will offer something more.

it runs for long enough that you begin to forge an excuse to go in and check on him, but just as you start to justify it, the water shuts off. you feel thwarted—though it was a silly plan—and the hope of getting to see him for one final time tonight crashes, has tears welling up again.

but before they can spill over, a soft knock sounds at the door.

you turn away despite wanting for him, and answer. "yeah?"

the door creaks, room warming with him in it. katsuki doesn't say anything until you finally roll over to look at him, his hair damp and flat, forehead resting against the wood as he watches you from the corner of his eye. head bowed, like a scolded child.

"'ve got...shit to do with my old man tomorrow." he murmurs. "but i should be back by lunch."

even if you are at odds, another bout of loneliness grows at the thought of waiting, sitting in the house without him. "okay, thank you for letting me know."

just barely are you able to make out the shift of his eyes down to the carpet, the growing frown on his face before he groans quietly to himself. when he stands properly, you admire the soft curve of his muscles, his shoulders, as he crosses his arms over his bare chest.

"goodnight," he tells you again, nicer this time. you whisper it in return and there's some finality, for the night; his jaw cocks and his head shakes again, like he can't stand this shit. you know he can't. katsuki squeezes his eyes shut tight and when he fixes them on you, they are full and sad, but he doesn't look away. not this time. "y'know...that i love you, right?"

your restraint buckles, nearly slipping through your hands, and you sit up to catch it. more than anything, you want to open your arms and allow him into this bed with you, the way you always do, but your sore heart stops the words from forming.

instead you tell him, quietly, seriously, "and i love you too, katsuki."

his frown only deepens and he turns with a heavy sigh, dragging the door gently behind him.

katsuki's all might mug is waiting on the edge of the counter the next morning, still steaming.

for you, because he doesn't drink coffee, and when you step up to it, you can tell by the color that he's added too much cream. the gesture makes you smile regardless, softening aches and pains from the night before.

he doesn't say anything when you sit at the bar counter, doesn't look up either, just continues putting away whatever he's used to make his protein shake. you can see the tension still lining his every move, the bob of his adam's apple as he swallows hard and ducks his head and acts like you don't exist here at the end of the kitchen, waiting.

twice he walks by without saying anything, busying himself with a backpack sitting by the couch. he spends a few minutes staring into the hall closet before grabbing a jacket you haven't seen him wear in months, and then he sets it with his other things and strides back to the kitchen and—has to face you.

the shadows under his eyes are dark and heavy, like he didn't get much more sleep than you did.

"shouldn't take me all morning," he speaks softly, like he would to a newborn. so, so far from how he spoke to you yesterday. "if y'need somethin' while i'm out, just—" call him, he means, though he trails off with a shrug.

"okay," you nod and sip your coffee, accepting his olive branch. "i will, thank you."

katsuki chews on his lip before finally returning to the living room to gather his things, and he waits until your back is to him before speaking again. "unless you don't want me to go." he huffs, like he's already frustrated. "i can stay and we can...figure all this shit out."

"no," you shake your head and swivel around to frown at him. "no, you should go spend time with your dad. we can talk later."

"'s not a big deal if i cancel, i can call him right now if you want me to stay."

"no, katsuki, i wouldn't want you to do that." your brow furrows and the knot that gets stuck in his throat is almost visible, as his gaze shifts to the wall beside you, avoidant. "i think it'd be good if we—"

"fuck, if you want me to get out, just say so."

"no, that's not—" the irritation you felt yesterday wakes once more and your stomach twists at the fear that this will devolve into another screaming match. your already thin patience snaps, echoes like the ceramic of your mug against the counter when you set it down. "i'm not saying that. at all. i just don't think you should cancel on your dad if you've already made plans. you said yourself it's not gonna take all morning, so we'll talk after."

"well," he scoffs, indignant, throwing his arms up in the air like he's exasperated—but you don't miss the slight wobble of his chin, how long it takes him to sound out his own words. "you even gonna be here when i get back?"

"well, yeah, honey, where else would i—"

"'m not gonna come home 'n—" he waves a hand, clearing his throat as he forces himself to stare at the ceiling. "'n all your shit's gonna be gone?"

you deflate instantly, watching the sharp work of his jaw until he's having to blink rapidly, over and over again as his eyes gleam. the bar stool scrapes across the floor with an ugly sound as you slip out of it, and katsuki only throws you one brief, bloodshot glance before you bury your face into his chest.

still on guard, his arms don't move, don't come to wrap around you—but you can feel the small huff that leaves his chest. the tip of his nose as it dips into your hair.

with your cheek to his chest like this, all you can hear is the rapid-fire beat of his heavy heart. "i would never just leave you like that." all you get is a half-shrug in response, voice to fragile to sound. "i'm—we had a fight, but i still love you, katsuki."

he shrugs again and shakes his head, staring glassy-eyed at his cabinets when you look up at him. "well...'m sorry."

"i know," you murmur, nuzzling your cheek into him again. in your hands, his heart is heavy, and your own mirrors its ache; has he always been like this, expecting the worst? or is this a wound suffered from another? you squeeze him a little tighter, until his breath hitches. "and i forgive you, but my feelings are still a hurt and i just need...some time, you know?"

now his walls crumble, as he finally wraps an arm around your neck so that he can press his face into your hair. "...how much time?"

you want to laugh at his impatience, the little brat that's still at his core, but you can't fault him. not when you're just as eager to leave this fight behind. to wrap him up in all the warmth you can offer. "i don't know, half a morning, maybe."

and he doesn’t say anything for a long time, as he waits for his voice to stand on its own again. even then, it's quiet, small. "...okay."

"i'm going to love you forever and ever and ever." you promise, offering him your loveliest smile when he swallows hard. "even when you don't want me to." the longer his eyes linger on your cheeks, the pinker his own get, and you can't help yourself; you stand on your tip-toes, happily, now, and wrap your arms around his neck. "can i have a kiss, please?"

katsuki scoffs, though it's lighter now, before pressing his lips to yours, softer than you expected. even though it's chaste and simple, he stays there with his eyes shut tight, like he doesn't want to ever leave. you have to pull back, because your lips start to curl and you want to laugh at him, so pliable and sweet, but he chases you, plants two more before frowning at your giggling.

"y'r a dumbass," he murmurs, and when you gasp, he throws his arm around your neck and yanks you into his chest again. the heat on his face is palpable, as he tries to tuck his vulnerability in your hair. "'m always..." katsuki tries, cutting himself off with a sharp sigh. "g'nna want this, so don't be thinkin' otherwise. ever."

you hum into him, pliable, too. melted down to his same temperature; warm, tender. you pull away to place a kiss on his cheek, more on his lips until they quirk up the slightest bit. satisfied. "i won't if you won't."

[melien]

I just had an embarrassing interaction with someone that I really want to get along with and then Doris's advice she gave Milo popped into my head. That person has moved on to other things and probably isn't even thinking of it! Thank you for writing an awesome character like her, who is honestly helping me deal with my social anxiety right now! 😊

Ahhhh this is so sweet, my heart is so full right now😭😭 Yeah I would say I agree with Doris here, this definitely can be helpful to remember, people have a short-term memory most of the time. But I also see Milo's perspective, some people could indeed get a certain impression of us from a small interaction. I guess it depends, but I do believe most of the time people are focused on themselves and their own actions (probably how not to embarrass themselves haha). The hard part is telling this to our brains. I was thinking how social anxiety doesn't just come out of nowhere, it usually comes from a string of prior bad experiences and all the silly societal norms imposed on us that center around playing some fake part and not fully being yourself, so it's definitely quite hard to put yourself out there repeatedly. So I'm proud of you and your little steps! Man I love rambling about human psychology, it's one of my special interests haha and I definitely try to put those things and different perspectives to reflect on into my stories too.

But yeah, I love Doris a lot, she's the best and so mature for her age! (I think she's like 17-18 in the story and Milo is about 4-5 years older?) It's really refreshing for me that the two siblings with completely opposite personalities are trying to support each other as well as they can. Doris usually speaks from her experience as an extroverted non-overthinker, and maybe it doesn't fully help Milo immediately to internalise it and apply it to themselves, but it does make it a bit easier to see that their sister is in their corner and is trying to be so understanding and helpful. It's really valuable to have someone who is validating our feelings and not acting annoyed at our anxious brain. Ahhh I love these two🥹

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬, 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐳𝐞 || 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠!𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one: stop, you’re losing me || part two: in the trees, in the breeze (here)

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ your memory kept haunting Coriolanus Snow, so he found the way to end his exile. It’s a new era, but the same old feelings between Coriolanus and you keep causing scandals. Although, you are not ready to let go the pain he caused to you.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ Capitol ballerina!reader, angst, drama, violence and death lol, jealousy, unhinged Coriolanus, sex mentions, reader still has health problems, etc. 13k words fic IM SORRY

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_ hear this along Can’t catch me now, I’m not an OR fan but I love that song from her. I mean, who didn’t? And thank you for the wait and loveeeee. PLEASE TELL ME OF ANY ERRORS BC I CAN’T BE ALMOST ACCUSED OF BEING TRANSPHOBIC PLEASEEEE

♪ ♫ awful Coriolanus Snow playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)

_____________________________________________

Red, blue, red, red, yellow, green, green, pink.

Every color is correctly marked. A nurse smiles with some papers on her hand before she dissapears.

You can get dressed again. The color test was done, your vision was okay.

Purple and green bruises are scattered across your skin. Some appeared on your inner thighs. Two on your knees and one on the ribs from the day you collapsed after the post-Hunger Games celebration. You sigh covering your skin with a long floral dress. The reflection of yourself on the mirror salutes you with a tired, broken and sad face. It makes you force a smile, pretending more people were watching you. The room in empty though.

“Everything is fine. Your body is responding well to the shots.” A doctor asks as soon as he walks in into the room.

“The only thing that worries me is your mental health. Have you been stressed or has anything happened to you that could be considered a traumatic experience?”

The pointe shoes soaked in blood. The unstoppable bleeding on your feet. The late nights with panic attacks and over thinking. That young blonde man and the songbird together. The night on dressing room, how your hand burned after slapping the man so hard. The shock of all the events surrounding your life two weeks ago. How you lost control, your head spinning, blurred vision, heart pounding, numb arms and how you felt the oxygen was leaving. All the things you did for someone who never deserved you, making you shatter, fainting as soon as you finished dancing.

“Miss y/l/n�� Are you okay?” The distant voice of the doctor breaks your bubble. You shake your head in disguise before turning away from the mirror, facing him and smiling politely.

“Yes, I’m fine. I was very stressed, yeah. Working with the production of the Hunger Games. My artistic performances, last days at the Academy. It was a lot…” the doctor sighs, annotating something. He then handed you the paper.

“I’m giving you some treatment for that. And please, you have to be careful and calm. Only that way the medicine will help everything to work here” he points his head. You nod, accepting the paper.

After that, you leave the private hospital. Trevor is there, your chauffeur and friend. He smiles, opening the door for you.

“Thank you, Trevor” he starts the car soon after.

“Is everything okay?” You nod, looking at the bright day at the Capitol.

“I just need to relax and eat well.” Trevor had trimmed his hair. It made him look younger, making you smile at the memory of him saying his wife was his hairstylist.

“Good. Oh, I received a call from your mother. This woman…uh, Dr. Volumnia Gaul? She wants to see you at the Univeristy today” you frown to look at him confused.

“Oh? So… Can we go now?” He nods, turning left to start the route. Meanwhile, you wonder what could she want. You made your part, the games had a higher amount of viewers compared to last year. You engaged with the production and the celebration was at full capacity. Your little accident even made it more attractive to the media. Appearing on the papers and magazines across Panem.

And after everything, you still wanted to keep dancing. Or else range would consume you.

…

It’s the first time you step inside the Capitol’s University. It’s very similar to the Academy, but the floor tiles are green and white. There’s a lot of white, cream, golden and black decorating the halls and long stairs.

Since it’s summer, most of the building was empty. Only some of the staff, and very few people who seemed like students. You see they dress very elegant. Some women wore hats with feathers or flowers. The men wore classy suits and you genuinely thought you would fit in.

You couldn’t wait to have some sense of normality as a Univeristy student along Clemensia and Lysistrata. Your only close friends left. Well, also Festus and Sejanus. At the time, you didn’t event know your dear friend was dead.

What seems like the private office of Gaul has a red door. Inside, she had a laboratory, smaller but weirder than the one you had seen before. Full of dissected creatures, tanks and crystal containers with unknown chemicals.

Some steps further and you see her desk, where she is collecting some folders and putting them away in some shelves.

“Glad to see you breathing, miss y/l/n…” somehow you found the humor to smile coldly.

“As you can see.” You reply standing perfectly correct.

“By this point you should know what happened to Mr. Snow” goosebumps make you shake your shoulders slightly, you nod again.

“He was exiled. Twenty years. He lied to me and did not said a thing about cheating on the games”

“Indeed. However this morning, I just discovered he bribed a woman to be sent to District 12.” You bite your tongue to hide your fury. A hot feeling invade your chest in rage. But you just breathe, failing to not show discontent.

“That’s not any of my business anymore.” Even Gaul seems taken aback. However, she doesn’t say anything, she just keeps pulling away the pile of folders.

“Well, since it seems you both parted ways… I must share that I’m deleting any record or data related to the 10th Hunger Games. Too many things happened before, during and after the games. Things that would compromise the reputation of the whole organization. Including me, the Academy, the mentors, you and Mr. Snow” honestly, you don’t know what to say. You just frown slightly, demonstrating how confused you were. But you also understood with half of the context. The death of Arachne, Coriolanus and his odd ways to make his songbird oustand, the rebel attack, Lucy Gray Baird winning from cheat. And the things you didnt know like Sejanus entering the arena.

However, you stick to your parent’s advice. You have to think about you and anyone else.

“I understand. But I did my part. I completed my task so I hope this decision doesn’t jeopardize my grant” she smiles. Dr. Gaul secretly believed that you and Coriolanus Snow could rule Panem together. In a sick and evil way, so she really hoped her dark intentions would work.

“Of course not. We had a deal. The views went up this year. You brought a new vision for the promotion that I’ll hardly let go.” The ambition started tickling you. Making you roll your tongue inside your closed mouth, at the verge of opening it and talking.

“Good.”

“In fact, you would be a nice option to become head of the promotion and relations team.” From the last games, you realized the director only gave instructions but he rarely did the dirty job. You liked having some power over the games. And now, a childish and unjustified resentment towards District 12 made you smile as Gaul offered you a new job.

“Is it a possible option to be working in behalf of my mother’s institution?”

“You’re very smart, y/n y/l/n. You are going further than Mr. Snow” your smile only grows, knowing you are nit being correct. You are letting the rage and resentment to guide you. You will make your last name shine brighter than your parents did. Just to rub it in the face of certain blonde who was now exiled. Probably savoring the country life of District 12.

“I just want to make my family’s name bigger than it already is” the woman giggles, taking out a red envelope and handing it you.

“I assume you’ll pursue the arts as you’re speciality. But if you want to get involved with the production, marketing and relations. You are taking politics and some lessons with me” when you look down at the envelope, the golden logo of the university is greeting you. It’s the admission letter.

“I expect to see you here by the end of the summer” you nod, thanking her.

And as you walk outside where Trevor is waiting for you, you have a cocky smile. Feelings like things could go better. You don’t even remember the doctor’s appointment you were in before coming to see Gaul.

…

Your soft hands gently brush against his forehead. Coriolanus had chills, he hadn’t had fever since he was 15 years old. But your hands are so soft even when they feel cold as ice. He just knows he’s in his bed. In his rottening penthouse. He can see a slightly blurred image of you, wearing a green dress, your hair in a braid, a golden necklace, dark purple lips. He can’t hear your words, but you are talking to him, spreading some cream across his chest, immediately he felt the mint soothing his cough and pain. He must’ve said something funny, because he can now see clearly your face, gorgeous as always. And he can clearly hear you laughing.

Coriolanus wakes up smiling. And he realised he was dreaming.

He was in a small and creaky lower bunk bed. Sejanus sleeping in the upper bunk. The sun hasn’t come up. And he’s a peacekeeper in District 12.

It’s been weeks since he left the Capitol. And since day one, you seem to be haunting him.

Current dreams of you, swearing to be hearing your voice. It makes him want to call you every single day. But he doesn’t. He was able to forget about you when he was in the peacekeeper training and duties. When he was with Lucy Gray any trace of you was gone. But as soon as he had a moment alone, he would remember everyhting about you.

He missed you. Painfully a lot.

Every Friday, he had been sending the letters. He hoped your mother would hand them to you. But Coriolanus knew you too well to know you likely would not be reading them. Nonetheless, he was letting himself to write the most vulnerable pieces of him, putting his heart on each word and phrase. Hoping that by the time his exile was over, you would have forgiven him.

When the sun came up, he was up along the rest of the boys. Sejanus gives him a friendly smile and they’re out exercising and doing jobs all day long. During his break, he’s able to seat in an old bench, with a beautiful view of an open green field.

That’s when he dreams of seeing you there, dancing or simply standing there with a sundress. Like the ones you used to wear on summer when he visited the house your parents had in District 4. He dreams so hard that he swears seeing the skirt of your dress swaying through the trees. And that’s when he knows he’s so fucked up.

But that’s long forgotten after the break is over. And by the night, he’s on the biggest bar of the town. He sees Lucy Gray singing something new. He honestly never understood the meaning behind her songs, but he was enchanted by her do what she loved.

After her live presentation, a big projector was introduced. They started playing the weather with Lucky Flickerman. Which made Coriolanus miss the Capitol so bad.

“They’re probably waiting for some women. That’s why the always start that thing” Lucy Gray said, appearing by his side and pointing at the projector. He smiled at her.

“To see women?” She nodded, grabbing a glass of cold water.

“You know how are men around here” with no tv around, no ostentatious lifestyles, men could get excited with little makeup and satin gowns. Coriolanus was disgusted by many mannerism of the 12. He had heard and seen many disapproving behaviors. But he was happy to be able to find some peace along the songbird.

“Yes, I know. What’s that thing by the way?” When Coriolanus turned around to see the old projector, he almost choked after seeing the big logo appearing.

It was the summer fundraising charity of your mother. Another luxurious gala to help the constructions of the Capitol after war. However, that wasnt the most impressive part for Coriolanus. Seconds after the recovered from seeing something directly related to his past, you appeared in the projector, entering the stage and getting in pose to start a performance.

Lucy Gray Baird was in shock. So if she was surprised, the men all around the bar where cheering and whistling.

There you were, with curled wet hair, metallic bronze makeup, wine lips, golden bracelets on your arms. But it was the attire. A two piece set that let your legs and stomach show off. With bare feet, and two elegant knives, one in each hand. Your cocky smile was back. And it was ruining Coriolanus Snow.

He literally jumped from his seat, leaving Lucy Gray to cross the river of men and properly see you.

She knew you had broken up with him. And that relieved the songbird, as she felt like she could let her feelings for Coriolanus flow freely. But seeing the boy literally hipnotized as soon he saw you, it made her feel uneasy. Deeply she knew that Coriolanus wasn’t over you. And no matter what, you were a sensible subject for him. That not even herself could ever test.

But he kept going. Each step meant hearing them say how good you looked, the places where they’d put their hands on your body. It boiled his blood.

But finally, the dance killed him. Because maybe for the capitol you were still elegant and classy. Their eyes would publicly appreciate your art, and privately let their mind wander with your half naked body. But for people from the 12. It was like throwing a piece of meat to lions in starvation.

With your hips swaying tentatively, pointed feet and letting everyone know how flexible you were. That sassy look on your face that Coriolanus was feeling too personal. It was like you were saying “look what you lost”.

He was used to see you in pastel tutus, hair in a bun. Not this goddess ritual dance type of thing. The music was very different, something very uncommon in Panem. He really wants to punch every man in the room. He sees how most of the women in the bar see your graceful image with disgust. And Coriolanus couldn’t blame them. But it made him remember that he had lost the right to call you his. And that intrusive thought made him automatically think he wanted to go back home so badly.

Your sensual and meticulous steps keep going, the knives making him remember the folk tales of women dancing with sharp objects to show fertility, honor of their kingdom and to seal a man’s faith. Every minute more desperate for Snow, who’s over the edge of hearing men say plenty of things about you. But soon, the music stops with you arched, pointed feet, your curls kissing the stage, the knives perfectly pointing like a clock.

Coriolanus doesnt miss your evil smile. He can sense you are changing. And he remember all the pain he caused you, making him sigh in resignation. His desire of going back for you only growing.

“I’m sorry I left like that” he explains to Lucy Gray. She notices how quick he drank his beer. She was a woman after all, she knew the effect a fine female could have on men. Especially on the man who was their lover. The one that probably hurt her and left her, ending their history in bad terms.

“It’s okay. I told you she was very pretty before” Coriolanus learns that Lucy Gray was not being sarcastic that day at the zoo.

…

It had come to the point where he couldn’t run away from his thoughts. Coriolanus was borderline obsessed with your memory. He constantly wondered how you were doing. He had to ask Tigris every time they talked to see learn anything about you.

For the first time, since he left the Capitol, Tigris shares that she had talked to you.

Coriolanus was surprised to hear that the reason you gave about the breakup was only because he cheated with Lucy Gray.

You didn’t said a word about him the lies, the last argument you two had. You only say that his songbird was special. And that you stopped to be what he needed.

Which was heavily mistaken. Some days before he accepted that you were the only thing he needed to keep going. He imagines a fake scenario where you came to the 12 with him. You find a humble home where you wait till his training is over. The lake where he spent hours with Lucy Gray and The Covey could’ve been hours with you. Talking about anything and everything. He would’ve come straight home to you when the training was over. Make love to you, promise to fight for a higher position, possibly as a commander one day and marrying you. And soon the years would’ve passed, his exile would be over and you would go back to the Capitol with him. Maybe some children along.

But that would never happen. And his delusion was starting to make him find a way to go back where he belonged.

He questioned if his urges where for power, or to get back with the woman he loved.

Whatever the reason was, a lot of people would pay the price. First were the daughter of the mayor and her partner, then the man who had the decency to hide the gun he used to kill those two. Who also happened to be his alleged best friend.

His hands trembling as he pressed to record Sejanus. But he knew there were high possibilities of being heard. And that way, he would go back. He would find you and slowly start again.

The death of Sejanus would haunt him for a long time. He knew he was a close friend of yours, which made him get chills, uneasy to decide what could be your reaction to the news. Either way, it was done. The heavens had to have heard him. He was offered to serve in District 2, gain some money and he could easily take the train to see you if anything.

But Lucy Gray had other plans. And Coriolanus wasnt even sure of what he was doing. Probably in his rambling and panic after everything he went through as a peacekeeper, one side of him wanted to run away and never see back again. To forget about his decisions as a mentor, to forget about his decisions as a peacekeeper and to forget about you. That way he would never have to face all the pain he caused you.

After some hours of walking, Coriolanus should have seen the signs.

“Everyone in the Covey are really good dancers. But I don’t think it’s my thing. I just have my voice…” Lucy Gray said, holding her bag tightly. Coriolanus only smiled, remembering how bad the songbird was when he tried to teach her how to waltz.

“Is it like… exclusive in the Capitol?”

“I think so. Today there’s only one institution, the mother of…” he goes quiet, realizing what he was about to say.

“…y/n?” She asked, almost nervous about mentioning your name. But in reality, she wasnt. After Coriolanus nodded, they just kept walking in silence.

“Her mother founded it?”

“It was her grandmother actually. Mine knew her, and they were kind of friends” he said smiling, trying to look away from Lucy Gray so he couldn’t see him smiling.

Once you leaned Coriolanus was financially struggling some years ago, you ended up visiting him for the first time. That day you learned Grandma’am was friend of your family before your mother was born. And that only made her appreciate you faster. Which made Coriolanus happy. Finally seeing her grandmother to let go the days of the war and any crazy ideas that stayed on her mind. All thanks to you.

“Grandma’am even started planting pink roses for her.” It slipped out automatically, he couldn’t control it.

“She’s like ink…” Coriolanus missed the point. But after some minutes of silence, he understood what Lucy Gray said. Which resulted true. Metaphorically, you were the brightest tint he’d ever seen. He let that ink fall and splash everywhere, leaving stains on him that probably would never leave.

And finally, Lucy Gray Baird fell to her end in the shallow woods. Hunted like a prey. By a broken man who decided to stop being good. Who was losing his mind for the pieces of a woman he let go so easily.

That changes like the destination of Coriolanus.

He’s going back to the Capitol. With tiny sparks of hope. But firmly believing that everyhting was meant to happen like that so he could go back to you.

However, as he came closer, Coriolanus realized he was lost. He had no idea what would await for him. And what version of you would greet him.

…

There isn’t an exact period over the Capitol that can’t be considered as autumn. The summer was practically over, and winter was already happening. Coriolanus had to wait longer than expected to get into University. In the meantime, he accepted the money from the Plinth family. He decided to get ahead of time. He used the last hot days to get Tigris and Grandma’am back to the penthouse. He bought the whole building and in two weeks the whole place was renewed. There was only one thing he couldn’t get rid of. The living room and entrance olive paint you brought. He painted the halls, dining room, studio and kitchen in a dark blue paint. But he wasnt able to get rid of the memories he made with you. His old self was long gone. But he had his supcisions that the version he was for you would never change.

However, he decided to stay afar from the public eye for that month after returning from exile.

Tigris said she hadn’t seen you. But that was okay. He would soon enter to University. He was going to see you there.

Eventually the day came. He gets rid off Casca Highbottom and then he walks towards the big and imposing University of the Capitol. He had a driver now, but he thought it wouldn’t be bad to use the mornings to walk.

In his first hours inside, he has private lessons with Dr. Gaul. Already mentoring him to be a game maker. She kind of suspects he was involved with the sudden death of Highbottom. But for some reason, Gaul has a lot of hopes in him, so she would easily act blind to keep her plans to keep going.

After that, Coriolanus starts looking out for you. He crosses the big seminar rooms and other halls. Until he is able to locate the arts building. It’s smaller but probably the most interesting. With a beautiful barroque facade. As soon as he enters, he sees a group of girls holding large canvas with beautiful paintings on them. Then, some steps later he spots two guys trying to carry a sculpture. Coriolanus believes that kind of modern art was the future of the Capitol. He had to admit the arts building was fully alive, he even forgot he was still at the university.

Coming down from some stairs, he sees two girls. A red haired and a tanned with black leotards and floral skirts are giggling. They seems like dancers, he doesnt think twice. He’s already approaching the girls.

“Excuse me, ladies. Do you know by any chance where I can find y/n y/l/n?” The girls look cheekily at each other, before smiling at him. Which makes Coriolanus wonder what type of rumours had been flowing around about you and him. Since mostly everyone knew the last Snow heir was dating the daughter of the kings of Panem´s television industry.

“She’s rehearsing a class for new students. It’s on the second floor, you’ll hear the music…” he thanks the tanned girl before going upstairs.

She wasn’t lying. He started hearing the classical piano music. He can hear some distant and low cheering. The whole floor is full of dancers. It’s a long hall, to the right, a big studio, with a classical mural, chandeliers and the most giant mirror he’d ever seen.

The people outside the studio see him with curiosity. But he only has eyes for the ballerina dancing all across the studio.

There you are, with a coral tutu, baby pink leotard and thighs. Your pointe shoes seem new. Your cheeks look so pink and your smile is there.

He has to understand that you have become popular enough to have your own fans. Some rumors said that your mother was offering master classes at the University. And he couldn’t help but think how much your family’s name have growth since he left.

He lost count of many turns you did, but you finish cleanly, offering a beautiful view of your tutu wadding. He can’t stop smiling.

People start a round of applauses. He debates whether to get closer or not. He doesnt have any speech prepared. He doesn’t know what to say to you.

“Coriolanus?” When he turns around, he sees Clemensia Dovecote there. Her old study buddy looked older, but not in a bad way. He saw the scales on her skin. But he didnt had to ask, he knew it was because of the rainbow snakes. It just seemed weird to see her short sleeves but turtleneck, rather than her trying to cover all of her face.

“Clemensia” he greets her. Clemmie was probably your female best friend. It wasnt a surprise that suddenly the woman seemed to dislike him.

“Since when you returned?” He looks back at you again. As the music keeps playing, he just smiles. He know the way things would now work. With no how are you questions or anything like the past.

“Some weeks ago.” Clemensia looks like she’s analyzing every movement and word of him.

“Why are you here?” Her hostile tone only makes Coriolanus to act more relaxed than he already is.

“I made the promise to come back for y/n…” the woman stares at him, probably taken aback.

“She doesn’t need this, Coriolanus. She can’t have this” Clemensia had visited you at the hospital. She learned most of his lies towards you. She knew you didn’t deserved to fall again. And especially not because of him.

“I know, Clemmie. I won’t be a burden for her” the music stops, and Coriolanus decides that it’s not time to talk to you yet. So he smiles once again to Clemensia.

“I hope so. Because you already failed her once…” his smile drops. Clemensia dissapears to get inside the studio. Coriolanus stares at you one last time, before he silently walks out.

…

Before you can reach your glass of posca, a porcelain plate with your food slides on the way. A soft piece pile of fried little steaks, with melted cheese and a golden sauce of mushrooms dripping. Your stomach churns and it makes Clemensia laugh.

She had a salmon fine cut with caviar and other exotic stuff. It was a beautiful afternoon to have dinner at one of the most elegant restaurants of the Capitol Downtown.

“Bless your food.”

“Bless your food” you reply back to her.

“So, How it went the rehearsal?” You roll your eyes giggling.

“It was great, until the girls taking the masterclass appeared to see me” your father was right. After working in the production of the 10th Hunger Games, many doors opened for you. Splendid career opportunities here and there. Only that you didn’t enjoy a lot of attention.

“Are they still at the Academy” you nod.

“Rich girls who can make their parents pay the classes of course” Clemensia smiles, drinking a little bit before getting back to eat.

“Coriolanus was looking for you…” you literally stopped eating. You almost drop your fork, but you decided to hold it firmly.

“What?”

“Apparently he’s back.” She reveals. Making you close your eyes in panic.

“How? He was exiled” you say whispering. Clemmie shrugs.

“Gaul. He’s her pupil star. And with Dean Highbottom dead now…” it must’ve been great for Coriolanus to learn the man was gone. Always putting him in the lowest, it was a mark for change.

“Doesn’t matter, I won’t let this get into my way” she smiles.

“What about what your father said?” During a late lunch, you had been talking with your parents, revealing that you broke up with Coriolanus because he cheated. Your mother was shocked, but soon she joined your father to give a twisted advice. He asked if you still loved him. You answered you weren’t sure.

Then I suggest you to proceed to ignore him. Soon you’ll learn his intentions if he ever comes back. Play with him a little. Show him that nobody will laugh in the face of family like ours. Let your hands get dirty, but never show this insecurity you’re talking about.

From that day, you still wake up every morning without knowing how you actually feel about Coriolanus Snow. You know you can’t just simply forget about all the things you did with him. But you firmly pretended that he was in the past.

“I still don’t know how I feel about him.”

“Are you still in contact with his family?” You remember Tigris and Grandma’am.

“Not as much as I used to”

“Mhm. Did they ever learned what happened?” You sigh.

“Just that he opted to choose the songbird before me. And I know Tigris has her own opinion. I just never gave her the opportunity to share it.”

“With him back… probably you’ll find out sooner than later” Clemensia admits, leaving you thinking for the rest of the dinner.

Turns out that you are not ready to find out yet.

…

The first time you see him, it’s at the gardens of the University. You had lunch and wanted to have a brief walk. Through a maze of flowers and plants, you spot him on a bench. He’s very concentrated reading a book. Your eyes widen, seeing how much different he looked. The posture, the clothes, the hair, the cold look.

Something notoriously changed. And you have your suspicions. It wasn’t a coincidence that Sejanus was gone, and Lucy Gray Baird had dissapeared.

You mourned the death of Sejanus one week. You send your condolences to his parents at the funeral. And that night you can’t help but cry on your pillow. Wondering why had life slowly turned dark. In a matter of months you had experienced things you never thought you would. You lost people, you had your first heart broken. You had lost the will to do much things. But, you had to keep going. And you felt guilty, because you thought you had no right to feel like your life was hard, just for being Capitol. The districts struggled more. However, it’s not on your power to mend their lives. Just as it’s not their case to judge your life.

And now, seeing Coriolanus so firm, so calm, it makes you doubt. Sensing that there must’ve been something off about him. Something bad, like all the things he did and hid from you.

You pretend you’re looking for some papers in your bag when you walk past him. He doesn’t see you though, and you thank it.

A couple of days later, you hear for the first time the rumours about him courting Livia Cardew. It makes you feel depressed. You cry out of anger as soon as you get home.

And to your dismay, the first thing you see after turning into a room for the politics class, it’s them. Coriolanus Snow is talking to Livia just beside the door.

That’s the first time you two look at each other again. He sees the anger, discontent and so much resentment. You see the questioning, curiosity and admiration in his eyes.

Nothing else is said because you break the gazes, you walk inside the room with your head high, and your presence is so evident that even Livia has to look at you. Taking too much time to see your beautiful heels.

A week later, you are having a good time with your friends. Festus and Lysistrata are there with you and Clemensia. You are talking all about the upcoming winter gala held at the biggest auditorium in the Capitol. Everyone is excited because it’s the great opportunity to make contacts and eat the most delicious food.

“Is your mother inviting Coriolanus?” Lysistrata asks with curiosity. You roll your eyes at the subject.

“I hope not. I haven’t even spoken with him ever since he came back” everyone knew you had broke up with him. But only Clemensia knew the details.

“Well, apparently he is courting Livia now” Festus mocks, making everyone laugh. Not that any of you had something personal against Livia. But she wasn’t the most brilliant star at the Academy. Now not certainly at University.

“Why Livia?” Clemmie asks laughing.

“Perhaps it’s becase how naïve she is”

“Or because of her father’s inheritance” you add.

“I don’t think so. He’s now the heir of the Plinth fortune” Festus remarks with dessaproval, which makes you feel angered.

“He’s dancing on Sejanus’ grave” your words create some minutes of silence for your late friend. Even when Festus and Lysistrata had made fun of him for being District and the ways of his parents to go up, at the end, they were friends. And now his absence had created a void.

“Ambitious and annoying. Just like his father…” Lysistrata comments sipping on her glass of water.

“How unfortunate. If he had stayed with you, we wouldn’t be talking bad things about him behind his back” you sigh at Clemensia’s words.

“Speaking of the king…” when you look past Lysistrata seated on her chair, you spot Coriolanus. He was wearing a dark grey suit, he looked so fine you had to admit. But soon you look away, the sudden memories of your last days with him haunt you.

After spotting his old friends and ex lover in a table at the cafeteria, he start walking towards there. Trying to make his first moves to go back to normality.

“Yeah. He would’ve been seated beside me right now. But he consciously choose the songbird before me. At least he’s refining himself a little bit with Livia” your friends turn to look at you in shock after the revelation, Clemmie only rises her brows as she sips her water silently, hiding her smile. By the time Coriolanus arrives the table, you’re gone and he curses himself for not walking faster. Festus and Lysistrata are shocked, making him furrow his brows in confusion.

“Did I missed something?” He asks.

“You had an affair with your tribute?” Lysistrata asks back in disgust. Coriolanus sees Clemensia giggling in silence with her head down. Probably enjoying his embarrassment.

His silence meets the requirement for an answer. One that they take as yes.

“And now y/n knows about you and Livia” Coriolanus frowns ever deeper after looking at Clemensia.

“There’s no Livia and I” He responds firmly. Even disgusted to her his name along the least smart girl of his finances class.

“Oh but everyone believes so. That you’re courting her…” he rolls his eyes, annoyed.

“I’m just talking to her because we’re partners for some stupid research paper” the silent sipping on their drinks at the same time is ridiculous to Coriolanus. He just stares at them annoyed.

“Do me a favor and leave her alone, Coriolanus. You were gone to go to your nobody girl from 12, but I stayed and saw her struggling in that hospital bed” Clemensia speaks confidently. Making the blonde to feel threatened.

So he realises that maybe you could have feelings for him still. And that this rumors could have weight on you. He curses himself. Even without realizing, he’s still hurting you.

“I won’t lose the girl twice, Clemmie. Have a good day” he says with a fake smile before leaving the table in shock.

He had to quicken the pace of his proximity with you. He had to make you see he never stopped caring for you.

…

There’s a shattering mess of broken glasses. You quickly move away from the crime scene, looking for your pills, immediately swallowing two.

Your mother’s assistant opens the door, asking for you with concern.

“Is everything okay, miss y/n?” You turn to look a the woman.

“I accidentally threw the jar. Sorry…” Millie is in her mid thirties. She was your mother’s confidant, and slowly yours too. She sees the news paper in the floor, half of it drenched from the broken jar that had water. She can see the title, The Snow heir tights the knot with the Cardew family?

“I’ll call the maids. Don’t worry” she says looking back at you.

“Thanks Millie.” She smiles, closing the door behind.

You breathe loudly, sighing in stress. Of course you had purposely thrown the water jar because of the news paper. A portrait picture of Livia is placed perfectly aligned with one of Coriolanus. Between some paragraph there’s your name too. But you don’t dare to see why.

You may pretend to be okay to the public eye, but you’re still drowning in the same feelings you got after Coriolanus Snow revealed his lies to you.

It’s almost like if he was still mocking you. Showing everyone how easy he had played with you. And how easy he got rid of you.

Someone had to pay. No, not someone, he. He, himself, Coriolanus Snow had to fail. Only that way you would feel slightly better. Only that way your tears would stop being for him.

The first chance you had, you would take it.

…

While you loved pursuing a dancing career along the production stuff. You still had some duties regarding politics and economy. Which is why you ended up at the submissions office so early in the morning. To send a petition.

You end up at at a messy office. A man is there, moving folders and other type of papers. There’s three baskets that can clearly be read as; approved, denied, pending.

However, you quickly look away to smile at the man who’s sitting behind the chair.

“Good morning.” Your smile is contagious to everyone. The man replies with a warm greeting.

“Good morning, miss y//l/n. How can I help you?”

“I was wondering if you could hand me a petition form to send” he nods, standing up, leaving the mess of papers behind.

“I can, just let me go and print the form. It won’t take too long…” you smile again, letting him go outside the office.

As you wait, you start seeing the racks of boxes and more boxes filled with yellow and lined papers.

Your curiosity grows, making you look at the baskets on the desk.

You see at first glance some graduation petitions, letters, etc. You are still curious to see why some papers where pending. So you look at the door one last time before diving into the papers. You don’t know the first students mentioned. Until you see the third yellow folder, where you can see a white strip with black letter saying Coriolanus Snow.

You open the folder, seeing what it was all about. A petition to start a political campaign at the age of 19. You frowned. He was good at writing. Even with letters he had some charm. But you know he never beated you to be precise and delicate. You always heard Grandma’am saying he would one day be president. But you never seriously discussed it with him. Now you know it was real. And you can’t help but feel an enormous amount of remorse.

He doesn’t deserve it. He had lost everything once, but the way he was earning everything was through breaking you, and probably others you’ll never knew about. Even when it would make Tigris and Grandma’am happy, you slip the folder into the basket of denied. You don’t feel nothing as you do it.

In fact, you offer the sweet man a smile when he comes back with the form for you. You thank him and then walk out.

…

Coriolanus swears he didn’t intend to bump into your father at the bank. Your father was a frivolous man, but since he knew him, he greeted Coriolanus with respect.

The blonde was taken aback when he invited him to have dinner at your house. And he couldn’t say no.

Your house is the same. At least from the outside, because inside, there’s more color. Coriolanus sees your mother. And she offers him a smile before he leans to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“Coriolanus, look at you. You look very handsome!” His cheeks warm, as your father giggles, handing his coat to a maid.

“I ran into him at the bank. Where’s y/n, dear?” Your mother laughs, rolling her eyes.

“That girl. I haven’t seen her out of her room since midday” the sudden sound of your heels gets noticed.

“I’m here” you say, coming down the stairs, putting some earrings on. Coriolanus notices the grey dress and black heels along the red tights. A diadem on your head and a bright smile that soon dissapears as you spot him in your house.

“Look who I found earlier” you sigh, standing straight.

“I see…” Your parents can see the way you correct your posture, showing how uncomfortable you are.

“We’re having dinner…” you ignore Coriolanus and his deep gaze on you.

“I can’t stay for dinner. I have rehearsals and I promised Clemmie to go to her birthday dinner party” they exchange looks. And Coriolanus is at the verge of smiling at the way you are making up an excuse to leave. Running away from him.

“Are you meeting with Jan before?” Coriolanus head almost pops to look at your father. And you don’t know if you should smile. Jan was your dance partner, he would dance with you at the gala. He was older, very handsome. And you wished he wasn’t off limits from you. Because you easily could admit your attraction towards him.

“Can you at least stay for some drinks?” You shrug at your mother, accepting your purse from a maid. You ignore Coriolanus and his way of looking at you, almost petrified.

His head was spinning, he needed to know who the hell was Jan.

“Unless you want me to do horrible at the Winter Gala, no. I cannot stay, mother” she sighs, tilting her head towards your father. He understands, your father was the one who convinced you to ignore Coriolanus and play with him.

“Well, that’s fine. Just be polite and say goodbye to Coriolanus.” You nod, watching them leave inside the long corridor to enter the dinning table.

You remain quiet, looking down at your purse to avoid his eyes.

“You look lovely” he says, breaking the ice.

“Thank you.”

It’s the first time you two talk since months ago.

“I heard you want to start your political campaign” you opt to pretend you are okay and you can face him with confidence.

“I did. But the idiots of the council rejected my essay. Guess it’ll give me more time to focus on university.” You nod, grabbing a pair of gloves from inside the purse. You want to smile so badly. He would never know you were the reason of his failed first steps in the politic of Panem.

“Anyways… How you’ve been?”

“I’m fine, Coriolanus.” the way you sound tired. Like tired of him makes him uncomfortable. But he tries to keep his best smile too.

“Who is Jan?” He asks almost too seriously. You smile politely at him

“No one of your business, Snow” you calling him by his last name takes him very aback.

“You know, I just hoped that… you know. Maybe we could start off again… like friends of course” you giggle, lowering your head. He frowns confused.

“Miss y/n, Trevor is waiting in the car for you” the butler say appearing from the side door, you thank him and he leaves again.

“I don’t think there’s a way to start again. You already failed me once, Coriolanus.” You admit, putting on the gloves with a bittersweet smile on your face. You turn to pat his cheek, and he swears he’s about to melt. He lounged for your touch since the moment he left you at the hospital. He closes his eyes, hoping to slow down time and felt your cold touch.

But you move away your hand. He opens his eyes and sees you putting the last pair of the gloves on. You walk towards the door.

“You know where the dinning table room is.” And with that, you are gone.

…

Your father gave him the green light to court you again. Coriolanus had to swear that he would never cause you any type of pain, or else, your father would destroy his career before it officially started.

That was more than enough for him. Since that day, slowly, he had been greeting you almost every day, at Univeristy and when you ecountered him and Tigris in a furniture store. You personally invited her to the Winter gala, and Tigris agreed to not share the news about the invitation. But to the young Snow woman, it was a surprise that your father had already invited Coriolanus to the gala.

Soon the day came. As usual the gala opened with the performance of an specific play, than everyone celebrated in the hall with fine dining, and everyone gossiped as auctions happened. It had been a couple of weeks, very busy ones. Probably it was even more important than the arts gala on March. But for this special occasion you had rehearsed a lot to be an elegant black swan.

You smile at your own reflection at the mirror, the black tutu was gorgeous. The crown you had to use was very intriguing. And the black makeup made you feel very confident.

“I came as soon as I could” Clemensia suddenly opens the door of your dressing room. She looks agitated, but she looked amazing on a beige dress and her hair in half ponytail.

“You look very pretty” she thanks you.

“But look at you. You are going to be amazing.” She sits and both start gossiping.

“Your father invited Coriolanus.” It makes you roll your eyes tired. But you are having a heartache.

“I’m… not sure if I don’t feel anything about him” Clemmie leaves her glass of champagne.

“The newspaper rumour affected you. Right?” Slowly, you nod. Too embarrassed to look at her in the eye. But Coriolanus had been really good. He smiled at you at any chance he could. Some days he would join you and your friends and he was fun, you had to bite your tongue to avoid giggling. And Clemensia had seen it too.

“I can’t blame you. I was there since the beginning…” your friend had seen the courting, the first awkward hand holding, how you two formed a strong connection. And Coriolanus left you at the hospital.

“You two had a beautiful bond. And he broke it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t miss him” Clemmie goes to hug you.

“Pa’ said to keep playing with him, to ignore him. But I’m tired, I just want to heal” she nods, letting you hide your face on her shoulder.

“You want my advice?” You nod.

“Do not force anything. Be polite to him, but avoid giving him any chance yet. As you heal, you’ll find the answer; if you should let him have another chance or not”

A man knocks. When Clemensia opens the door, he receives a bouquet of white roses.

You could recognize those roses anywhere. You get closer, taking the attached note.

Grandma’am and Tigris didn’t know what flowers to cut.

Good luck.

You try to hide your smile. But it’s impossible.

…

The whole place is full. Coriolanus takes a seat with Tigris besides.

“I talked with her yesterday. She said she was very nervous about this one” Tigris says. Coriolanus knows she’s talking about you.

“She’s always perfect, she shouldn’t feel nervous.” His mind was only thinking about Jan. He did his research. And learned he was a former dancer of your mother’s institution. It made him mad.

“Have you thought about inviting her to have dinner?” Coriolanus shakes his head.

“Not yet, I haven’t talked enough to her”

“Well, hurry up. Grandma’am wanted to see you married by the age of 20” she says laughing. But it doesn’t make Coriolanus smile.

“Oh look, it’s starting” Tigris squealed with excitement. The curtains lifted and the show started.

For the first twenty minutes, he’s so bored. Nothing exciting happens. He thinks the white swan is boring. And for the first time, he meets Jan. It makes him feel jealous.

It only worsened when you appeared on stage. Your black attire makes him go mad. He had never seen you in anything like that. He gets very invested in your scenes. He feels the emotion you are trying to project. Sassy, cheeky and attractive. You succeed to him.

Unfortunely, Jan had to appear too. And Coriolanus has to sigh, dealing with the scene of the man holding you to make you gracefully spin. The music doesn’t help, it holds the sense of you and Jan dancing together. Coriolanus knows dancing has a lot to do with acting. But he doesn’t enjoy the looks of lust and desire between you and your partner. The worst part? He had to seat and watch it for at least fifteen minutes.

His head malfunctions. But he already is telling Tigris he needs to the restroom.

It’s a lie. He goes to the dressing rooms. And his luck was so big that he found the one with the name of Jan. He slowly made his way inside. The place was so old that he didn’t need to check for security or anything, but he wanted to make sure nobody would see him in real time.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to accomplish, but surely he wanted to get rid of the man who apparently had your attention now. Your mother had said you and Jan worked very well. And now, with him seeing the performance, he was more than sure he couldn’t let it move forward.

His hand went to his pocket, and his eyes widened. He felt the little glass tubes of narcotics. The same he used to kill Casca Highbottom.

He thought about it just for a little. Was it worth it? Getting rid of a man just to have easier access to you.

Maybe.

Then he questioned how bad he wanted you back. Coriolanus had missed you since day one. He knew he would never love anyone else. He knew no one would treat him as you once did.

So he poured the liquid from one of the tubes inside the water flask resting on the vanity. And before leaving, Coriolanus slipped two more tubes inside the bag that contained Jan’s clothes.

“You took very long at the restroom” Tigris tells her cousin when he came back.

“There was a long line”

…

This time, is different. You smile and you can hear the big round of applauses as you make reverence to go off from stage. You were the last one and the curtains came down finally.

Once you are free, you have all the time in the world to breathe. Other dancers and production staff members congratulate you. But it’s Coriolanus Snow the one who makes you frown confused. He was backstage, looking at you with a soft smile. His classic black suit makes you go back and remember about the Reaping ceremony. How happy that day initiated, and how bad it turned out.

“Coriolanus.” You greet him, he can see a tiny smile on your face.

“You were amazing. As usual, of course”

“Thank you. And for the flowers, they were gorgeous. As usual, of course” he’s so surprised that you were talking to him with some humor sense. Both of you laugh and it feels… warm, and natural.

“It’s nothing. But.. perhaps we could just sit together at dinner?” Your cheeks warmth. You think about your confusing feelings, what your father and Clemensia respectively said. Sitting with him once wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“Yeah, we could.” He smiles, and even when his hair changed, his deeper voice. For some seconds you can see the boy you once loved.

And he almost feels like he was seventeen again. Watching you dance backstage, ready to greet you with a kiss. He sees the girl who helped him so much. And he just know all the horrible things he’d done were worth it.

“I-…” but his words stay lingering in the air. Both of you hear a female scream. Coriolanus and you exchange looks before starting to walk where the sound was heard. In the corridor of the dressing rooms you see a woman lingering to an open door. Immediately you recognize it’s Jan’s room. You quickly make it there, through the pain of your caged foot inside the pointe shoe. Coriolanus goes behind you, already sensing the scene inside.

He hears you gasp in shock, covering your mouth and tears forming on your eyes.

You are in shock, you sob, unable to blink.

Jan is on the floor, pale and blood on his mouth. He’s dead.

And as much as the scene shocks you, you are trained to entertain the Capitol, so you turn to them random woman.

“Go and find Millie. Tell her about this and do keep your mouth shut. Nobody can know beside my parents. Understood?” You indicate the woman with a broken voice. She nods in horror dissapearing through the corridor. When she leaves you can finally cry.

When you don’t know what else to do, you are holding onto Coriolanus Snow. You find comfort on his chest. And he immediately holds you back.

As much as you hate to admit it, you feel you are home in his arms.

With one hand, he closes the door of the dressing room and returns to completely be there to hug you. He smiles, knowing he’s already slowly winning.

Because when your parents find out what happened, they make you put a cute black and green velvet gown with crystals. They make you pretend nothing happened and you sit with Coriolanus and Tigris. Ignoring the upcoming rumors, and certainly not respecting the sudden death of Jan.

…

Two days later, Coriolanus finds you seating on a bench. You are eating a sandwich, looking lost. He takes a seat beside you.

“I’m sorry about Jan. It happened so suddenly” he doesn’t feel sorry. Opposite of what he felt about Sejanus and Lucy Gray. However, he firmly believes it was the only way.

“He was a wonderful man. A devoted dancer, with principales. He had a wife in District 3.” Coriolanus coughs. He wasn’t expecting that. That little detail wasn’t on his research. Something twisted inside him, but he still didn’t regret or felt sorry.

“He didn’t seem the type to use narcotics…he must’ve been very stressed out” you add. Oblivious that you are talking with Jan’s murderer.

“Are you sure you are okay?” You roll your eyes sighing.

“No. I’m not okay, Coriolanus. Not since that cursed Reaping ceremony day”

“I’m just trying to be here for you” he admits, and it’s your breaking point.

“WHY DO YOU CARE NOW? YOU FAILED ME WHEN I MOST NEEDED YOU!” He looks around to see if anyone was around. But the place is empty.

“I know I committed many errors but-“

“BUT NOTHING, CORIOLANUS.” You spit out with such anger, that makes him frown.

“You violated the trust, loyalty, respect and love we had for each other. You dissapear after making me have a damn breakdown. Only to go after that girl. And now you appear trying to mend things?” You won’t tell him about his denied petition and what you did. You just want to share all you couldn’t before at his face.

“Do you know how many doctor appointments I’ve had since you left?” He looks down.

“Twelve. And I have to swallow four different pills every day. Only to stay sane. And who’s fault it is? The hunger games, the galas, dancing, Lucy Gray Baird. But specially, you” when he looks up at you again, you are crying.

“If you really want to be here for me, you need to stay away and leave me alone.” You finall state, looking at his blue eyes one last time, before standing from the bench and walking away.

That wasn’t your day. Neither the following ones. Your pointe shoes died and your size was out of stock. The food took such a long time. Your parents left to have an audience in District 1 and your evening was to listen to music and cry.

But certainly what broke you once again was a phone call.

“Hello?” You answer.

“Y/n?”

“Tigris?” You ask. Her voice sounding worried.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Is everything okay? You sound alarmed, dear” you are able to hear her sighing.

“It’s Grandma’am. She’s sick. Coriolanus is busy at the Univeristy and the doctor I requested hasn’t appeared” your heart beats faster.

“She has a strong fever and it’s been like that for hours.” She adds, finally sounding more worried.

“Tigris, calm down. I’ll call my cousin, he’s one of the most prepared doctors around. I’m going there with you in the meantime” you reassure her, already taking off your nightgown and taking out a dress and coat from your closet.

“Thank you, y/n. I truly appreciate this, thank you.” You hang up after saying everything was going to be okay.

…

You see how changed is the penthouse. Fully renovated, with bright lights that contrasted the dark blue wallpapers. But you find interesting how the olive paint you brought is still there. And your portrait from the day of your eighteen birthday is still with the family pictures.

You wait outside the room of the elder woman, as your cousin is checking Grandma’am. You have to hold the urge from biting your nails. A maid offers you posca, but you can’t think about drinking at the time.

The front doors opens and seconds later, Coriolanus is there. He seems surprised to see you there. Since the day of your argument, he hadn’t see you. He tried calling you but your butler said you were out for the weekend to your grandparents house.

“Y/n?” He asks, dropping his coat on a chair.

“Tigris called me. She wanted a doctor for your grandmother” he worried a bit.

“Is she not feeling better. When I left she seemed better…” he says hurrying to go to her room, but you stop him, grabbing by his forearm.

“Don’t. My cousin is already there with her. I’m waiting for the results” Coriolanus only stares at you. He wants to smile. You came only to help his family once again.

“You look very lovely” you smirk, looking at his window with your arms crossed.

“Really? Your grandmother is sick and you are here saying how lovely I look today?” He smiles.

“You told me to wait. What else can I do?”

“How cynical of you” you respond coldly. After all you told him, he was acting like it never happened.

The door of the room opened and Tigris came out with your cousin.

He revealed Grandma’am was having a little difficulties in her lungs, which made her prone to catch a flu. He gave her some strong medicines and promised it would be fine with some days of resting.

After some minutes, you are also ready to leave.

You say good night to the Snow cousins and leave.

“Y/n. Wait…” Tigris comes out. Stopping you some feet away of the now working elevator.

“I-… Thank you.” She slowly says hugging you.

“It’s nothing, Tigris. I told Coriolanus once I would always help the people I love” Tigris suddenly feels so sad to hear you say that. She really hoped you and her little cousin had a different ending.

“He still loves you so much.” You fight harder against the tears when she says that.

“I know. And I still love him too. But… he never apologized. And I’m not ready to let go my resentment towards him.” You admit looking away.

“Although things did’t work out for you and Coriolanus, I really appreciate and care for you, y/n” se almost whispers in your ear. And your eyes water.

“I feel the same, Tigris. I really do” you reply slowly, controlling your voice to not sound cracked.

“I’ll come back in some days” she nods.

She lets you go and you finally head out. Not noticing that Coriolanus heard everything.

He never apologized.

That night, you are reading on the living room when your butler walks in.

“Coriolanus Snow is asking for you in the telephone” you thank him, walking bare feet towards the kitchen telephone.

“Yes, Mr. Snow?” You ask.

“I just wanted to thank you for coming today. You didn’t have to and yet you appeared here” you sigh.

“Whatever that happened between us has nothing to do with my relationship with Tigris and your mother” now he sighs, from his office, in complete darkness.

“About that y/n…” your hands go numb, and panic floods you.

“You don’t know how much I’m-“

“I know.” You interrupt him, cracked voice and you hang up.

“Sorry” he says through the dead line.

That night, you read his letters. The ones he sent when he was a peacekeeper at the 12. Where he seemed to have projected his more vulnerable and emotional side of his heart. Maybe he had been drunk, maybe Lucy Gray wrote them for him. You’d never know, and you preferred to ignore the idea of him actually feeling sorry.

…

A week later you’re applauding for Grandma’am as she sings for you. You smile, changing her pillow case and complementing how much of a sweet voice she had.

It’s getting late, and you must return to your house.

After wishing Grandma’am sweet dreams, you carefully close her door and you walk with the old pillow case away.

“Are you staying for dinner?” Tigris asks with a sweet smile, taking the pillow case from you. Coriolanus is seated, drinking something as he carefully looks at you. You ignore him.

“I must decline, dear. I have to go back and pack some things” she frowns, stopping to put some plates on the dinning table.

“Pack?”

“Yes. I think I’ll spend the holidays at District 1. My mother is opening a new studio and she’s going to need help. And well, if everything goes right, I might even stay there” Tigris almost drops the pillow case. And Coriolanus almost chokes on his drink.

“What? Why?. What about university? The galas? Your production job for the hunger games” you shrug with an honest smile.

“Lately the Capitol life has... it has been a burden. I want to live a peaceful life. I want to heal” Tigris sends daggers with her eyes to Coriolanus. He coughs, uncomfortable.

“CORIOLANUS!” Grandma’am calls the man, you only sigh. And slowly, he stands up to to the woman. He hears you keep talking with Tigris. And he wants to do something to stop you from leaving. Now he can give you the life he couldn’t before.

“Is everything alright, Grandma’am?” The elder woman looks at him from her bed.

“Are you really letting that young woman to walk away again?” Coriolanus frowns.

“What?”

“You’ve heard me.” Even in her sick days, she was firm.

“She doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore” Grandma’am shrugs.

“I don’t think so. Her eyes shine sadly at every mention of you. She was part of the family after all.” Coriolanus remains quiet. But he admits to himself that’s what he missed the most.

“I think she always waited for an apology. One that never came.” His heart pounds very fast. He tried, and you hung up.

“What do you suggest me to do?” Grandma’am smiles, coughing tiredly.

“You run to wherever she goes and beg on your knees. One time you show her vulnerability and you’ll never do it again. We, women, only want real love, stupid love. You show her that stupid love once and you can silently do it for the rest of your again”

“You already won the money and respect. You’re just missing out the girl” Coriolanus sweats, but when he turns to look at her grandmother again, she nods, reassuring him.

“Go. Get her back, Coriolanus” without saying anything back, he leaves.

When he enters the dinning room, he only sees two plates of food. He looks at Tigris confused.

“Where’s y/n?” She shrugs, taking a seat.

“She just left.”

Coriolanus runs. He actually runs out of his penthouse and when the elevator starts taking to much time, he decided to choose the stairs as his getaway. He feels sweaty and agitated, but as he goes down, he can’t help but feel slightly happy, the adrenaline of making it on time make him hurry.

“Y/N!” He yells your name once he makes it to the lobby, where he can see you turning back to see him.

You are waiting for Trevor when he appears running towards you.

And before you can even blink or breathe, he gets on his knees.

“Coriolanus Snow. What are you doing?” You ask confused and blushed.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

“I’m sorry about all the stupid things I did. I’m sorry about letting you down. I’m sorry for ruining our relationship. For letting you in that hospital bed and return to do everyhting but apologize to you” you look at him perplexed, not believing his words.

“I can’t lose you again. Because I know you’re the last and only person I’ll love. I won’t trust anyone else. And nobody would have ever looked down at me like you did when I had nothing” you sigh, feeling the tears coming again. You know he’s not lying. You knew him so well that you sense it.

“If you let me. To give me another chance, I’ll do things right. I will never fail you again in life. You’ll be the only person I’ll cherish and show love.” He offers you his hand, and he looks very suppliant.

You blink quickly to soothe the tears. And you know he doesnt deserve you. But aren’t the best person, so maybe you two were actually meant to be together.and that’s the only viable reason to why you want to let your heart freely beat for him again.

“Please don’t go, y/n” he whispers, waiting for your answer. You sigh, slowly and shaking, but you end up taking his hand.

“You’ll better be the most perfect lover of the history of Panem, then” he wraps your fingers together, and stands up.

“I promise, I swear” he knows the memory of Lucy Gray would always follow him. As well of all the deaths he had caused. But nothing compared to the joy of him kissing you again.

Your lips welcome him in the most sweet way. And he finds himself smiling through the kiss, gently holding you closer to him.

It’s in the start of the Road of Hope in the Capitol where Coriolanus Snow had his fully owned penthouse. Where he had nothing, and now had won everything.

…

Time flies, things had changed, probably for the better. You made Coriolanus keep fighting for a good and healthy relationship. Slowly, he made you completely fall in love again. And although there was certain spark missing, you knew it would never come back. However, you had also accepted that both of you had grown up.

The late talks were mature now. Talking about the future of Panem, planning dinners together. The kisses were more passionate, unlike the softness that was all over your early relationship. The sex was harder rather than slow and sweet like the beginning. Coriolanus would like to leave many hickeys scattered across your body, make a wet mess of saliva and fluids. He loved feelings your almond nails leave gentle scratches across his pale back.

But certainly, the biggest change was the way you two were handling a life together.

After turning twenty, you got married. Soon Coriolanus bought the house he always wished to give you. The one with black and white tiles floor, beige walls and big stairs.

By the first week in, he had done many refurbishments and he had fucked you in every room, every corner and every surface of the house.

Till the day you turned twenty-two. By that time, you had almost ditched your dancing career. Sometimes you still had some chances to perform on galas. But Coriolanus convinced you to focus on public services and the production of the hunger games. Dr. Gaul had officially retired, and it was going to be the first year of Coriolanus as a game maker. Things had really changed.

But everything seemed fine.

“Dear, Are you ready?” You turn to look at your husband, who waits on the frame of the door.

“Just one moment” you run to slip into your silver heels before grabbing your purse.

Trevor kept his job as your chauffeur and Millie was now your private secretary. Sometimes you hated how formal your life had become. Especially now that Coriolanus had some plans in mind.

As soon as you arrive to the fancy patio from a million-dollar man house, many women eye you and Coriolanus.

“Remind me what are we doing here?” You ask him. He holds your hand tightly, smiling at many of the invited people.

“I’m assuming the role of game maker. You are giving a speech about the improvements for the 14th Hunger Games, my dear” you nod, clutching onto his cold hand harder. Both of you were kind of the sensation around the Capitol. You know how they whisper about your dress and your husband’s physic.

“You’re going to be fine. You always choose the right words. And your voice can charm anyone here” he whispers on your ear, pressing a soft kiss on your temple.

“Thank goddess I’ve been studying the constitution. Or else these men would bury me” Coriolanus laughs. Soon you enter the actual event. With long white tables, candles and everyone dressed either on red or black.

“Men around here don’t know how smart my wife is” he says shrugging, remembering how many honors you received from university. Some of the wives ask you to join them. You wave hello to them before leaning to your man.

“Do not make me jealous or leave me alone during the speech.” You firmly say to him.

“Of course not, my love”

“Love you.” And with one last kiss, you walk away.

For the rest of the night. You feel uneasy. Because you succeeded with the speech. But once you read the part from Coriolanus, you are at the verge of babbling.

He shared some of his initial proposals for the games. Like lowering the age of the tributes, increasing the obstacles in the arena, using more mutts, allowing weapons, and making the interviews with Lucky Flickerman longer.

It had been a long time since you think about the games so much. But that guilt you felt after seeing Coriolanus as mentor, never left. And after that dinner, everyone claps for your husband and you, after being considered as the couple of the next generation for Panem.

In the privacy of your new home, you constantly zone out to think about it. You can’t ask Coriolanus to stop the games, but he could make some changes.

You knock swiftly on his door.

“Come in.” You walk in and he drops the papers he was signing to smile at the sight of you.

“Hello, you.” he says cheekily.

“Hello, you’.” You reply. He indicates you to seat on his lap and you do so. His arms lock around you, hands resting on your back.

“Are you coming to bed anytime soon?” You ask.

“I just need to sign some things, darling” he watches you frown, and he won’t say you look older, because you don’t. But you certainly look wiser, mature and more like a woman rather than a girl.

“I’ve been thinking about the games” He’s all ears now. He knows you had some specific opinions. You had said in your first interview how brutal the games were.

“What about them?”

“I would never ask you to stop the games. But…” you stop, suddenly feeling a little nervous.

“But what, my dear?”

“Don’t you think those tributes are humans? Yes, the Districts deserve to be reminded of the consequences of their acts. But most of the tributes are kids. Who don’t even understand everything that conveys a war.” Coriolanus sighs, trying to choose the correct words to answer you.

“What are you suggesting?” He tries to sound calm, but the mere subject makes him a little irritated.

“I don’t know… Maybe giving them more opportunities?” He giggles, caressing the skin on your hips.

“Giving them opportunities means going soft on them. And going soft on them could trigger a new rebellion” this time you sigh, trying to persuade him by brushing his hair, softly grasping his chin.

“Not like that, Coryo. I mean… raising the majority age of the tributes. Giving them at least the chance to train. To eat a proper meal on the last night. To show who they are one last time before they’re sent to die” Coriolanus would always believe that you’re only one weakness was your humanity. How you always turned to see down on others, feeling guilty from being born with all the commodities.

So, he tries to ignore it. He tries to see your suggestions as a way to punish the tributes harder. Give them everything to then killing them.

So, he smiles, urging you to kiss him. You reply immediately, holding him closer to feel the heated proximity.

“I could arrange some changes. Would that make you feel better?” You nod on his lips, smiling.

“Now let me finish this before meeting you in bed. And I expect you have this thing off before I get there” he says grabbing your nightgown. You laugh with a potent blush, gently pushing him away.

“Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not being silly. In two days, we start the tour, we will be very tired to make love daily as we do now” you roll your eyes, almost running away ad your husband laughs, making fun of your embarrassment.

“This is madness. I’m going to bed” you say getting out of his office.

“Don’t forget about what I said!” He yells, making you smile in love as you leave upstairs, wishing good night to the maids and butler. For the record, you do not forget about your husband’s petition.

…

The best part of the house is the rooftop in your opinion. A terrace with cristal walls and ceilings that had a gorgeous view of the Capitol. A view that included some monuments and the snowy mountains surrounding the city.

You had a little bar there, an eccentric dining table and some couches with colorful cushions.

Grandma’am made you take some of his roses so you could start your own garden. That brought tears to your eyes. But now, it was only you and Tigris there.

You asked the chef to make some vegetables and creams as your sister-in-law arrived for dinner. Coriolanus and you were set to leave the next morning for his political campaign tour.

“Have you packed everything?” Tigris asks.

“Yes. I wish I could take Trevor with me. But only Millie will be able to come” you say smiling. Tigris notices how you constantly look at the door, hoping to see Coriolanus entering.

“Have you told him?” You shake your head at the woman.

“Not yet. Probably by the time we arrive District 4. We have good memories from there” Tigris smiles. She was really excited when you got back together with Coriolanus. She even made your wedding dress. And now she was so proud of the career you two were making.

“Sorry for the delay. I was arguing with some incompetent who cancelled the delivery of our new chandeliers” Tigris rolls her eyes as your husband cheekily smiles.

“Dinner isn’t ready yet, anyways” you say patting his back as he takes a seat beside you.

“You shouldn’t be stressing over the tour. Your dear wife must’ve prepared the most wonderful speeches for you to say” Coriolanus smiles, turning to give you a peck on the nose, making you laugh.

“It’s not that, Tigris. It’s the time that’s freaking me out. I don’t want to be gone for almost two months.” You sigh, trying to keep everything together. You just pray that the tour goes smoothly.

“Each district will host you with all commodities” it’s a lie. Coriolanus isn’t ready to go to District 12 again. Where his father died, where he committed the worst decisions of his early life. He knows those days will be a little sour. But he’s willing to play pretend very well for you.

“It’s going to be fine. Pardon me, dear” Coriolanus says after seeing your face of over thinking. His wife is so smart that she’s probably wondering the same as him. And that’s the least he needs of.

You take his hand, before hearing the food has arrived. The air changes, the dinner flows happily as you talk and gossip with Tigris and your husband. It’s a great dinner actually.

Maybe he broke your heart when you were teenagers. But you delayed his political campaign for four years. Maybe he had looked too much at Lucy Gray Baird, but at the end it would only be you.

You could’ve done better to get rid of that guilt for participating in the hunger games, but you just realize that maybe you didn’t because you are not a good person either.

Even so, every morning, you wake up in his arms as he fulfilled his promise of never failing you again.

You just hope that the tour, the upcoming games and everything else doesn’t get into your way. Nothing can be a recoil. Not when Coriolanus Snow’s first child rests peacefully in your womb.

The future was uncertain. But your past and present along him always seemed like… a hatred road.

_____________________________________________

fyi, in my head, if reader hadn’t delayed Coriolanus political emergence, the second rebellion would’ve started earlier and probably it wouldn’t have been successful. (Basically it would’ve been like a second time “dark days” situation and then back to reconstruction again)

Taglist: @dear-bunnyboo @daydreamerprocrastinator @lecrercsgirlshhs @athanasia-day @devils-blackrose @reader-bookling123 @cookielovesbook-akie @justacaliforniandreamer @m1ndbrand @blairfox04 @darktrashsoulbear @fartybobabutt @diannana @iwantosleep @sarysuniverse @unclecrunkle @f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63 @didneyworld13 @imguce @angelscrime @impeterporker @lem122 @cryaka @ietss @michelleisheres-blog @capsiclesworldsblog @circe143

[fallstaticexit]

The Art of Being Seen - a Nancy Landgraab story

୧‿̩͙ ˖︵ ꕀ⠀ ♱⠀ ꕀ ︵˖ ‿̩͙୨

𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔒𝔫𝔢 - 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔥

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AN / Transcript under the cut

AN: Nancy's story will consist of 3 parts: Part One- Youth | Part Two - Uni | Part Three - Wife Three pivotal moments in Nancy’s life that shaped the Nancy we know today.

As mentioned in the prologue, this story may contain mature and possibly even uncomfy themes and all posts will have their corresponding trigger warners in the post as well as the tags. Trigger Warnings are: Homophobia / Religious Trauma / Death via Car Accident/ Drugs / Alcohol / Infidelity / Sex & Nudity

Also, I have experienced CAS burnout lately, so I aged down most of the townies to teens lol. I figured this version of Cassandra Goth can be the AU version since I’ve already wrote Bella and Morti Goth into my Briar legacy, which this story is apart of that universe.

Transcript:

Cassie: This is Blair Hall, the senior girls’ dorm, and if you ask me, it’s the best one. We have our own private library. Down there is the rec room; we’re not allowed to have the boys over unless it’s with a chaperone.

Cassie: We’re also the closest to the church, which is great for when we have group sessions before service. You won’t have to rush and scarf down breakfast, plus you can sleep in a little!

Nancy: [sarcastically] Gee, how’d I get so lucky?

Cassie: Sister Agnes always says, It’s not luck—it’s a blessing! Vacancies are hard to come by. My old roomie withdrew; she had a really hard time fitting in with the other girls. They can be... kind of intense.

Dina: Oh, look. Another pretty blonde rich girl. Like those aren’t a dime a dozen here.

Nina: [scoffs] Here we go...

Dina: I am not joking. I better not catch her ass around Don. The last hoochie he was tonguing down was also a skinny, flat-chested, blonde bimbo.

Vanessa: You need to put his weenie in a cage instead of fighting every girl that breathes the same air as him.

Dina: Well, he wouldn’t be tempted if these floozies would stay away from my man!

Vanessa: I guess dyeing your hair blonde isn’t working for you, huh?

Dina: Oh, shut it, VV. You’re just jealous he isn’t into redheads.

Nina: Hmm, I thought he was into redheads though.

Dina: Ugh, as if!

Cassie: You can pretty much decorate your space however you want. Just nothing that’s on the prohibited list. There’s a room check every night before curfew, and-

Nancy: What do you know about that redhead on the balcony?

Cassie: Dina?

Nancy: No, she said her name was Vanessa. I ran into her this morning but she didn’t mention her last name.

Cassie: Oh, yeah! VV. Vanessa Villareal. She’s- eh, one of the mean girls. I try to stay out their way. Probably best you do the same.

Nancy: [softly to herself] Villareal. So, she’s old money, too.

Cassie: Her family built the school. Guess that’s why she feels like she can do whatever she wants- eh, don’t tell anyone I said that!

Cassie: But, erm, you’re welcome to hang out with me and my friends during rec and lunch and stuff. I know how tough it can, being the new girl and all.

Nancy: Yeah? ...thanks- Cassie, was it?

Cassie: You’ll totally like my friends. They’re the coolest people on Earth.

Cassie: Definitely better than some people. You can tell who goes here because of their faith and who was forced here because of their lack of it.

Cassie: Hey guys! This is Nancy, she’s my new roomie.

Bob: No way, they filled Angela’s spot already? Money talks. I’m Bob, or Bobby, and this cool, tall drink of water is Geoffrey. Welcome to Paradise.

Bob: [whispers] Geoffrey! Say something to the pretty girl!

Geoffrey: [voice cracks] W-we’ve um, met already.

Geoffrey: Our dad’s are friends. I just haven’t seen her since we were 10 years old. She looks so... different.

Bob: Oh, I seeee. First love? Your ears are beet red, my man.

Bob: Take a seat, newbie! Are you into D&D, perchance?

Nancy: I have no idea what that is.

Bob: Oh, ho ho! You’re in for a treat, m’lady. I’ll catch you up from the beginning of our campaign.

Vanessa: You look so bored. Want to get out of here, new girl?

Vanessa: Don’t worry, I’ll return you back to your nerds in one piece.

Cassie: [grumbles] Um, hello, we’re sitting right here?

Nancy: Go where, exactly? This place is in the middle of nowhere.

Vanessa: Guess you’ll have to come and find out.

Nancy VO: [I learned then, that I would follow her anywhere]

Dina: There she goes, taking in another stray.

Nancy VO: [All she had to do was take my hand]

[myysaints]

°˖ ⊹ ꒰ YT22 ꒱ HAPPY ACCIDENTS ─ YUKI TSUNODA

YUKI TSUNODA x f!gf!reader

⌗︙・ summary — yuki tries to soft-launch your relationship at the miami GP, but things don't exactly go according to plan...

genre — social media au

notes — apologies for the delayed upload, school has been a bitch to deal with 😭 i basically only had time to work on this in between exams and projects, hence why it's set around the miami gp (because that's when i started working on it fghafhsd). also i'm STILL MAD that yuki was out of points solely because of that (imo) undeserved penalty in barcelona... but... sigh. anyways here's the awaited yuki fic, hope u enjoy!

www.youtube.com/Formula1

PRE-RACE INTERVIEW WITH: YUKI TSUNODA | MIAMI GRAND PRIX 2023

alphataurif1

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, yourusername, pierregasly, and 2,213,914 others

🏷  yukitsunoda0511

alphataurif1  Miami dump with Yuki and a certain someone special 😉🤫

view all 824,001 comments

yourusername  the third pic my gosh 😭 your hair!!!

yukitsunoda0511  😅❤️ alphataurif1  Windswept Yuki is the best Yuki!

tripodgasly  when we said feed us crumbs we didn’t mean literally 😭😭😭 GIVE US MOREEEEE!!!!!

chuckeleclerc  that height difference omlllllll cant believe yuki actually found someone shorter than him LOL

alexalbono  HELP THAT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR 💀💀 chuckeleclerc  NO IT WAS A COMPLIMENT 😭 theyre super cute 🫶🫶

yourusername  wow this guy’s gorgeous, is he single by any chance?

yukitsunoda0511  Nope 😂😂 I love my girlfriend ☺️ yourusername  blushing screaming throwing up rn yukiiifan22  omg??

yourusername

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, danielricciardo, pierregasly, and 832 others

yourusername  in miamiiiiii with my boyyyyyy 🫶 honestly it was a miracle that i got yuki in the water after daniel’s little stunt…

view all 52 comments

yourbestfriend  looking HAWTTT 🔥 my favourite f1 wag confirmed #teamyukiy/n

yourusername  thank god my account is still private because you’re embarrassing asf 🙄 yourbestfriend  you know you love me

danielricciardo  Should’ve been there to see his face when I pushed him in!

yourusername  he was grumbling the whole way home, trust me, i know yukitsunoda0511  I was not grumbling… danielricciardo  All in good fun mate 😂 Get revenge on the track next year, how’s that sound? yukitsunoda0511  Looking forward 👍  

pierregasly  stay away from my boyfriend >:(

yourusername  homie hopper… go chat up estie bestie u traitor estebanocon  Hey, I don’t want him either! 😂😂 pierregasly  Rude 😒

f1wagupdates

Liked by pierregasly and 218,334 others

f1wagupdates  Submitted by anon ❤️ It appears that Yuki Tsunoda has been having a fruitful break in between the Miami and Imola Grand Prix! The Japanese driver was spotted walking hand in hand with what appears to be his girlfriend, two days after his 23rd birthday and five days after revealing his relationship on the official Formula 1 YouTube channel. Little is known about the Alpha Tauri driver’s lover, but we do know that their height difference is adorable 🥰

view all 58,219 comments

tifosi5516  liked by pierre gasly LOL

pierregasly  💔

carlo55ainzfan  LMFAOOOO ariana what are you doing here???

estiebestieee  STOPPPP their height difference is actually everything… short and shorter my HEARTTTT

mickyschumacher  yuki actually looks tall for once HAHAHA

formulaonefanatic  and NO ONE has her @ ??? seriously????

landonando  yuki talking about going public then literally no one knows who she is FGHFDSHGF sirhamilgoat  leave them alone smh, yuki has talked about how he likes to keep his personal life private formulafire  if he talked about going public in his post race interview… what else do they expect ??? sirhamilgoat  yall could just treat them like human beings?? we aren’t entitled to anything from them...

pierregasly uploaded to their story.                                              12s

[caption: Double dinner date 🍝🥂 with francisca.cgomes yukitsunoda0511 yourusername]

www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/formulaone/article-220511

NO SOFT LAUNCH: FORMULA ONE DRIVER YUKI TSUNODA GETS SUDDEN SHOCK AS GIRLFRIEND’S INSTAGRAM HACKED – WHO IS Y/N L/N?

Twitter was sent into a frenzy on Sunday, as AlphaTauri driver Yuki Tsunoda sneakily revealed during his post-race interview that his previously-unknown beau was in attendance at the Miami GP!

Tsunoda has been notoriously quiet about his private life, leaving fans stunned at the seemingly out-of-nowhere revelation. The Internet quickly began to scour for the unknown woman online, however with what little information they had, quickly turned up empty. Though, the commotion evidently attracted the attention of the team at AlphaTauri themselves. On Monday, their official Instagram account uploaded a post commemorating the weekend, in which Tsunoda’s girlfriend was also featured.

(Credits: yourusername on Instagram)

Eagle-eyed fans may have noted that both Yuki Tsunoda and the AlphaTauri Instagram account were both cheekily interacting with a private account. Soon, rumours were flying that this account was indeed run by Tsunoda’s girlfriend. As seen above, a quick look reveals that numerous Formula 1 drivers including Pierre Gasly, Lando Norris, Daniel Ricciardo, and Tsunoda himself, are following the account.

Some were not so convinced, however. Fans were also quick to question the account’s authenticity, with some expressing doubts on whether the account owner was even the alleged girlfriend herself.  However, these rumours were soon revealed to be true. On Tuesday, the account – which had previously been private with little over 300 followers – mysteriously became public. Fans immediately flocked to the account, taking to Twitter and Instagram to report their findings. With her most recent post being a dedication to her boyfriend and her time “in miamiiiiii with my boyyyyyy”, there is little doubt that the account’s owner – whom we can now confirm is Y/N L/N – is in fact the Japanese driver’s girlfriend!

(Credits: yourusername on Instagram)

The reason for the account’s sudden change in privacy is unknown, though some theorise that the account was hacked, perhaps by an extremely dedicated fan. Daily Mail has reached out to Tsunoda, AlphaTauri, and Y/N L/N herself for comment.

yourusername

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, pierregasly, alphataurif1, and 1,202,901 others

yourusername  all the rumours are true 🤫

view all 500,401 comments

lolasformula  THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCEEEEEE

muppetlando  mother and father. PARENTS!

francisca.cgomes  can’t wait for another double date with you two!

yourusername  same!!! but we’ll have to confiscate pierre’s phone first 🤭🤭 pierregasly  😳😂

yukitsunoda0511  My girl 🫶

yukitsunoda0511  The prettiest always 😊

yukitsunoda0511  素敵 (Lovely)

yukitsunoda0511  Can’t take my eyes off you

pierregasly  I think we get the point mate lewishamilton  Lay off the guy, he’s in love!            Liked by yukitsunoda0511, yourusername

yukitsunda0511  愛してる ❤️ (I love you)

yourusername  forever & always ❤️

© myysaints

[bestedoesmeow]

m. schumacher x y/n

Instagram au

Mick starts to date a girl, who loves to jump in muddy puddles, watches cartoons as a form of therapy, bakes different cookies each night, brings a joy to anywhere she goes including Mick's heart.

View Chat

mickschumacher

you both follow f1

22th March

y/u/n : Happy birthday Mick ! Hope you have a nice one.

10th April

y/u/n : Position 13, not the best but still my favorite number lmao

29th May

y/u/n : I am so glad you are okay after that terrible accident mick, I wish you the best

10th July

y/u/n : MICCCCKIE BROUGHT HOME POINTSSS

28th August

y/u/n : Wishing you luck on the track today, I believe in you.

Seen

mickschumacher wants to follow you

y/u/n

liked by mickschumacher and 156 others

mickschumacher sent you a message

mickschumacher : Do you give private lessons?

mickschumacher : Because I never wanted to learn piano this much in my entire life

y/u/n : Following me and messaging me in the same day

y/u/n : This must be a dream or smth

y/u/n : Also yes I'll teach you how to play it, don't mention it

mickschumacher : I loved your post race comments and how you messaged me on important days or anything

mickschumacher : Also, you are beautiful

mickschumacher : So when do we start to our lessons?

y/u/n : Oh whenever you want to🙂

y/u/n : Teaching a Schumacher something...

y/u/n: I am not sure lol

mickschumacher : Oh trust me its gonna be harder than you thought it would be

- WEEKS AFTER-

f1gossips_

liked by user99 and 1,248 others

Mick Schumacher seen with a mysterious brunette, we don't exactly know if they are dating but there are rumors that the two seen kissing🤫

View 168 comments

user456 : I just can't believe MICK IS TAKEN. MY HEART

user67 : Mick we were gonna have babies together... name them mick schumacher jr...

user34 : 😤😰

y/u/n

tagged : mickschumacher

liked by mickschumacher, esteban_ocon and 267 others

Had a nice weekend, my city hosting a gp and me hosting mick schumacher, dad's new fav by now🙏

mickschumacher : ❤

mickschumacher : He is an icon 🙇

y/u/n : We miss you already :(

mickschumacher : You can't get rid of me that easily, I'll be back soon🌪

f1gossips__

NEW COUPLE ALERT !!! THEY ARE OFFICIAL GUYS, NOW THEY SEEN AROUND THE PADDOCK AND RUMOR HAS IT, SCHUMACHER SPENT THE WEEKEND AT HER PLACE!!

Comments are disabled for this post.

mickschumacher

liked by cembolukbasi, charles_leclerc and 250.678 others

tagged : y/u/n, haasf1team

Feels good to be back on the track! Also glad to finally meet this cutie

View all 678 comments

user98 : My heart can't take it anymore...

user60 : Lovely :,(

user45 :Finally face reveal that we have been looking for.

y/u/n : Beautiful boy🙃♥️

liked by mickschumacher

[liightsout]

the blue - part eleven

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

✯ summary: an accidental soft launch ✯

✯ pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!oc ✯

✯ content warnings: none ✯

✯ now playing: dive - holly humberstone✯

✯ series masterlist ✯

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

mattieryan just posted on their story

Seen by landonorris, adamjames22 and 76 others

landonorris replied to your story - ok soft launch !!!

adamjames22 replied to your story - I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS LANDO OWES ME A TENNER!

danielricciardo posted on their close friends story

Seen by maxverstappen1, scottyjames31 and 23 others

maxverstappen1 replied to your story - call me right now!!

scottyjames31 - double date when?

gracericciardo - so happy for you Daniel

Liked by danielricciardo, adamjames22 and 89 others

mattieryan word on the street is

View all comments.

adamjames22 i never thought i'd have to suffer through you soft launching a boyfriend like this 😩

↳ mattieryan sorry not sorry

↳ landonorris how single do you feel from 1 to 10 adam? i'm at an 8 😖

↳ adamjames22 defintely a 10 i've had to deal with them at the flat for the last 24 hours 😒

↳ landonorris sending thoughts and prayers to you 🙏🏻

↳ mattieryan ur both annoying. adam we said u could build lego with us and u literally cheered???

↳ adamjames22 i'm bored pls don't take back the invite ☹️

danielricciardo 🤍

↳ mattieryan 🤍

Liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 753 others

adamjames22 thank you to mattie for letting me crash her date

tagged mattieryan

View all comments.

mattieryan you're terrible at building lego, how do you have a degree in engineering? i think mclaren hired the wrong guy 🤷🏻‍♀️

↳ adamjames22 why u trying to get me fired? 😳

↳ mclaren no comment 🤐

↳ user1 not mclaren commenting on this post 💀

↳ user2 she won't be laughing when her free ride runs out and she has to pay her own rent lol

user3 this is such a cute date idea!

user4 wait... i'm confused... is this adam soft launching mattie?

↳ user3 nooooo! by the sounds of things mattie was on a date and they let adam join, which is sweet of her!

↳ user4 thanks for clarifying! must be someone they both know if it's not awkward for him to crash their date? 🧐

Liked by maxverstappen1, sebastianvettel and 486, 324 others

danielricciardo first race done and back home to build some lego

mclaren great first race DR3!!! 🧡

landonorris nice photo of you, whoever took it must be really talented 😏

↳ danielricciardo he's a good photographer, alright driver i guess

↳ landonorris ffs

user1 his smile!!!!! he's so pretty

user2 he’s so cute! 🥰

user3 UH GUYS! i don't mean to alarm anyone but didn't adamjames22 post that he was crashing his friend mattie's LEGO date???? 🚨‼️

↳ user2 oh shit you're right 😮

↳ user4 i knew she had to be dating one of them!! not sure how i feel about it being danny though...

user5 do you think they meant to soft launch like this or was it an accident? lol

↳ i wonder what f1paddockgossip thinks of all this? 🤨

f1paddockgossip check out our new post for the latest danny ric content girlies! 🤭

Liked by user1, landonorris and 11, 242 others

f1paddockgossip Big news for all the DR3 girlies! Our man is spoken for! If you saw our posts from last week you know there was speculation that the Aussie was dating long time friend of Mclaren engineer adamjames22. Well it appears the rumours are true - Danny Ric is dating mattieryan ! The pair have been soft launching on their private Insta's, but have accidentaly outed themselves via some clumsy posts on Instagram by Ricciardo and James. These photos were sent to us by a source close to the pair. We don't have much info on them as a couple, or on Mattie in general but we'll let you know as and when they do. What are your thoughts?? xoxo

View all comments.

user1 I can't believe f1paddockgossip was right

user2 the fact that they accidentally soft launched is the funniest thing 💀💀💀

user3 lol what a slut, jumped on the biggest paycheck she saw, would have been Lando if DR hadn't of signed to Mclaren 🤢🤢

user4 they seem so cute together!! the fact that they included Adam in their date so he didn't feel left out is adorable 🥺

user5 THIS. IS. AN. INVASION. OF. PRIVACY !!!!

↳ user3 they literally all posted it on to a public platform? what did they think was going to happen?

↳ user5 i meant - someone sharing photos posted from mattie's private account to gossip sites is an invasion of privacy, and accounts like this speculating on it are even worse !!

Lked by danielricciardo, adamjames22 and 832 others

user6 pls why did landonorris like this post 💀💀

↳ landonorris it was an accident 😣

user7 omg guys mattieryan took her account off private !!! 🚨🚨

Liked by adamjames22, maxverstappen1 and 12, 432 others

tagged danielricciardo

mattieryan since you’re all asking

landonorris oh thank god i thought i was going to have to keep this a secret for ages 😅😅

adamjames22 can't believe my best friend is dating an aussie red bull driver and that it isn't mark webber, 14 year old mattie would be so dissapointed in herself

↳ danielricciardo thanks mate 🙄

↳ adamjames22 happy for you guys really

↳ danielricciardo that’s better 😊

danielricciardo 🤍

↳ mattieryan 🤍

user1 i am going to CRY look how happy and smiley he is with her

user2 power move for them to hard launch and her to take her insta off private to stop people sharing stuff without their permission tbh

Comments on this post have been limited.

Liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 634, 423 others.

danielricciardo heart eyes emoji

maxverstappen1 Kelly and I are so happy for you mate

↳ danielricciardo thanks buddy 🙏🏻

scottyjames31 can't wait to meet her!!

↳ danielricciardo i'm dreading it already 🙃

gracericciardo beautiful girl!

↳ danielricciardo thanks ma 😇

mattieryan 🤍

↳ danielricciardo 🤍

Comments on this post have been limited.

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

✯ authors note: this is quite a long social media chapter - hope it's ok and easy to follow!!

next update won’t be for a lil while cus i’m back to work for the next 6 days ☹️☹️

the new dts trailer is living rent free in my brain - CH saying that danny would have been next to max on the grid is like music to my ears - RICBULL 2025!!! ✯

[wayfayrr]

just got home from work lol - a dq worker. i had an idea of Time reacting to someone who worked as a fast food worker, specifically dairy queen cause of the potential for a funny interaction: "oh yeah i worked for Dairy Queen™" "you worked for lon lon ranch?"

"no there is literally a company named Dairy Queen.. i sold ice cream.." and then starts a whole conversation on what the hell ice-cream is lmao.

gonna be very honest with you dq-anon hope you don't mind me calling you that I've only really heard of dairy queen through that one girl's tiktoks because they don't exist in the UK dvjcedfc one of my wives (@angry-trashcan) told me more about what they're like and I focused more on the ice cream/ customer service voice part of it - I hope you like it!

“So you've mentioned needing to get back to your own world for the sake of your job, if it's alright may I ask what just what it is?"

"hmm? Sure? it's not really private, the only reason I haven't talked about it is because it hasn't come up in conversation yet."

"I work at a place called Dairy Queen™ or at least I did, they might have fired me…"

Time looks like he's about to ask me a question, not that I can blame him. Our worlds are very different. I doubt he's heard of it ever before. Well, I know that because it doesn’t exist here.

"I don't think I've ever seen you at lon lon ranch before, well and the fact that you've already said you're not from Hyrule."

"... There's a company called Dairy Queen in my world. we sell ice cream."

There’s the look I expected from him, utter confusion. Hyrule really doesn't have anything in common with my own world, nothing I could compare to the chains anyway. How could the post-industrial era even hope to compare to a mediaeval land where magic actually exists?

“...Ice cream?”

Yeah, I shouldn’t have expected him to know what that was. Really though does Hyrule not have ice cream at all? It’s not hard to make; with magic, it can’t be too hard to make a freezer. 

“It’s well, it’s frozen cream with sugar and flavour? Honestly, I’m not sure the best way to describe it when I can't just show you. For now, I’ll just say that it tastes amazing and that you’re missing out.”

“Maybe you could show me some time then, we should be able to find the correct ingredients at some of the villages here and Wild has a spare ice rod or two to freeze it.”

“Keep the money for more important supplies Time,  it’s not that big of a deal.”

Here’s where I’d happily take bets with the others for if he was going to drop it or not, what with how he rarely drops lectures it wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t drop it until I agreed with him. But he seems to have more respect for things that people don’t want to talk about with their past than accidents so who knows?

“Aside from that then, what is your work like?”

"It's work..? I mean the only real skills I picked up are accidentally tipping drinks on people and my 'service voice'."

Most of this is just going to be him all confused, isn't it? what I wouldn't do at this point to show him exactly what I mean…

"You haven't got any more questions have you?"

"... what was that?"

"well I can't show you most things are like where I work, but I can show you how I act around customers. So how can I help you sir?"

Laughing at his face was so easy at this point, the fear in his eyes at how much I can change my voice so easily, worse than it's been towards any monster he's faced on this journey. 

He’s more worked up about my voice than the shadow… 

“...please don’t do that again [name].”

“Come on Time, it can’t be that bad can it?”

“You - you can stop pulling that face Old man.”

He really does live up to that name, now I can’t help but wonder if ‘old man’ is Hyrule’s equivalent of boomer, from how they use it? How mean would it be to teach wind and wild what that means? Introduce Hyrule to ‘Ok boomer’. I’d just have to make sure time never learns what it means or that it's from my world.

“Can we just… just go back to explaining what ice cream is?”

“I think I would prefer to tease you more. But fine I can go back to trying to explain it better for you.”

[chuuyasfanboy]

HII!! Could you do one with Dazai, Chuuya and Atsushi reacting to a reader who has one of those SHTWT accounts? It's a kind of strange request, but I've never seen anyone talk about it!!

I actually loved your blog, I'm currently hooked! <3

NOT a weird request at all! I dont have any social medias like this, but I interact with edtwt and have friends with both edtwt's and shtwt's, so I think I'm comfortable enough talking about the issue!

Now this may be very hypocritical of me BUT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING MENTALLY PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP! Here's a link to a website with hotline numbers! Even if you cant get yourself to stop completely, please at least be save enough to keep living. Love you all mwah<3

https://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines/

Definitely didn't skip a matchup request to write this... Promise I'll get to you soon other person! I've had some ideas in mind heheheh

Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi (Seperate) x shtwt!Reader

Tw: Sh tw, mentions of edtwt in the ooc lol, spoilers dazai totally has a shtwt too</3

Dazai Osamu

Starting off with the worst reaction

Why is he the worst, you ask?

He has one too!

He totally followed you by accident because he just found this all so inspirational. And then you posted a tweet with the same joke you'd made earlier that day.

And oh he knew.

He's mad, but mostly because you never told him you were struggling.

He's the one who's supposed to be masking his emotions, damn it!

(I'm not sure if shtwt is the same way, but i know edtwt is chock full of motivational disgusting food images posting! I'm making those assumptions that its similar lol)

He definitely tries to convince you to get help, and he feels really bad for not actually being that worried.

He trusts you to keep yourself safe enough and so eventually he just gives up on the notion altogether

It doesnt take long for the two of you to be a bit more open with it all

He finally shows you whats under those bandages

It's worse than you think.

You're the one who convinces him to properly treat his cuts, and after enough bothering, you finally let him treat you the same.

Late nights when the two of you cant sleep, and he comes over.

The both of you in each others arms, disinfectant and fresh rolls of bandages discarded on the nightstand

While he may not be the one you go to for support, he definitely wont judge you for anything, not even a bit

And if you do decide to finally get help, he's there to cheer you on

Dont be fooled though, he wont be changing his ways at all

Good luck getting this stinker to find value in himself!

Chuuya Nakahara

He's got the best reaction, by far

He's trying not to judge you, really

It's not something he's ever had to struggle with these things, and the furthest he can really give you is an absurd amount of sympathy

The little experience he does have comes from his years with Dazai in the port mafia, but that was a long time ago and he hasnt had to think of it since

It brings up old memories...

You'd left it open on a private tab one night, and he found it when you asked him to look up something

He's about ready to cry, really, but he's strong

For you

He encourages you to get help, professional help

And if you decline, he doesnt push it much further

Instead, he offers you help directly

He cofiscates your razors the best he can, but he soon finds you manage to get them anyway

So he comprimises

When you forget to clean them, he does it for you

Buys you disinfectant and fresh bandages every time he knows youre running low, keeps your first aid stocked

Things like that

He politely asks to not be shown any fresh wounds, twitter post or not, and does his best not to think about the fact you post these things so openly and he hadn't even known

If you do decide to seek help, he's the most supportive.

He keeps you on your recovery plan, holds you close if you relapse, and never passes a single word of judgement your way

He's here for you, always

Atsushi Nakajima

Akutagawa found it before he did

Atsushi was told, immediately

He PANICS, and as soon as he sees you he pulls you aside

And he just cries into your arms

You're left so confused like?

What????

He understands why you didnt tell him, and he doesnt blame you for it

But he's still pretty upset

Moreso with himself than you

Again, like the other two, you'd been posting pictures of it all online and he had to be told!

He insists you get help, and he wont let up on it

Reminds you every day after a nicely times good morning text

"If you're feeling down make sure you call somebody before you do anything, okay?"

He's practically on his hands and knees begging you to unfollow the shtwt's you've bombarded your feed with

Suddenly he's terrified of looking over your shoulder at your phone, but also so afraid every time he isnt

He's really not good at sorting it out, his brain is scrambled and he's panicked every time he thinks about it

But he really does try hard to stay positive

And while one or two things he says may unintentionally come off as judgement, a good majority of his opinions on the topic is really just trying to get you help

He makes an alt account just to keep tabs on your shtwt

Its really obvious, made a day ago and following only you

You don't tell him that though<3

[khaopybara]

Ok so we are in agreement that may definitely knows that ai-oon is not oom right? Like even if she somehow managed to avoid seeing the news of the accident our girl oon is NOT doing well acting like someone may has/had been dating lol.

But also I love them so i am more than willing to turn a blind eye to all the sus behavior 😆

ALSO we finally got PhimPang and they are ICE COLD!! I wanted to like Pang soo much because of ciize but Pang is the WORST! I was so mad when she pull oon away from may so that she could basically make sure that May was blind. WHO DOES THAT!? 🤬🤬🤬 i know we’re only on ep 2 but at this point i am all for PhimJan!

Really i am praying to the GL gods for a true triangle! Give me PhimPangJan or give me death!

AND ANOTHER THING that grandma is on thin ice

Ok what else….planetarium dates was adorbs and the the cockroach scene had me dying 😭

-🤫

miss famous lawyer who's studying to enhance human rights and went to a meeting in geneva to create a roadmap to help with her mission most definitely knows something is up. i think i got spoiled about this whole situation, but i'm not 100% sure how trustworthy people's vague commentaries and my deduction skills are. either way, oon is now the love of my life. she is adorable and she needs a very tight and good hug, and for now, may seems like she's doing it quite well (tho i must admit, my heart hurts for oon every time may calls her oom).

LISTEN! i love my girl ciize. i adored her as alpha in 23.5, and i was so looking forward to see her in pluto (still am, don't get me wrong, i think this plot line will give us so much), but from the moment ciize said, yeah you know, pang has had this crush on oon since forever but never made a move bc she didn't know oon liked women, too, but now that she knows that's an option for her, you know, she might go for it. never mind this relationship i have with this other stunning officer who lives with me. it's like having war flashbacks of raymew in only friends, tho they are very different characters in very different circunstancies.

the thing about pang tho is that she's very logical. ep 1 pang telling oon, hey girl, i know a lot has happened in the last week of your life, but you're really taking the side of a girl found out existed just the other day and you met literally once. get a grip. iconic behaviour. i was saying the same thing. but ep 2 pang make me feel she does all of that out of misplaced jealousy and sense of ownership over oon's time and presence which is not really nice. i hope we get to see more of the phimpangjan triangle thing soon, because as i said, it's gonna be juicy~ (also, jan is so much more loyal and driven than i thought she would be. from the pilot trailer, i thought she'd be just a jealous wine lady who'd get in between kapookciize, but she's sweet so far).

grandma clearly has favorites (or so we think. at least this part of the story is from oon's perspective, after all, and we know we can be biased when telling a story), but @suppaloscurse talked about it in this post and i agree with a lot of that. oon not only is the older twin, she's also the one who needed to be strong and support her younger sister. it's not fair of grandma to pick favorites so blatantly, but i feel like it's what oon has always expected. she was sidelined bc her sister's fragile health, oom went to a private school, and then as adults, oom became a flight attendant while oon works in delivery (pls know i'm not putting more value in one more than the other) and then, also married rich. namtan talked about how grandma is pivotal in oom's story and is the reason for the granddaughter's growth, so i'm looking forward to figure that relationship out, too.

also, THE SAPPHICS OWN THE SPACE. THAI GLS TAUGHT ME SO. and, props to the cockroach that gave us the classic falling on top of you scene. i've said this during ploy's yearbook when namtanfilm's character found themselves in a similar predicament that if they were dudes, they would have kissed on the lips back then, and we almost had it in today's episode. fingers crossed i still can get my cliche from them.

[progmetol]

Alright children, listen up

This is Agent Cynthia Vance. She’s an Invincible oc. If you have seen my post history you know damn well where this is going.

(I tried drawing her in the comics art style as well, referencing even the pose from there. It’s hard I’ll say that lol).

Anyway here’s the run down:

- Was initially a field agent of the GDA. No powers, but genius intellect and made a lot of tech to assist in the process.

- Took a beating at one point. Lost right arm. The GDA replaced it with a prosthetic. She made some of her own enhancements, like embedding a semi auto pistol into her hand. (The muzzle retracts when not in use). This is AFTER the next two bullet points.

- Was pretty good ‘friends’ with Cecil before his accident, they were on the same strike team. He had put in a word for her which helped her gain her position. Kept their relationship secret, though.

- Cecil has his accident. She waits with him in recovery for almost the whole time. He proposes.

- Was promoted to head of technology and armaments. Worked on the foundations of some key technology used by the GDA (cloaking devices, teleportation, etc).

- After Cecil’s incident, she pleaded the director into letting him out of jail. He agreed and the two of them persuaded him to take on the role of director.

- Oversaw a lot of technology developments for a few years (most notably, teleportation) before making a groundbreaking discovery. Discovered a plane adjacent to ours and taking up the same cosmological space. Entities in this plane were immune to damage and other manipulation from entities in the material (our) plane.

- Big lightbulbs going off in Vance and Cecil’s heads. This shit is can be very useful. Mutually agree to look further into it.

- Vance figures that being able to manipulate the plane temporally locally to each entity would be useful. Aka, freezing individuals in time while in the plane. Freezing someone in time allows for easy dispatch, no matter who you are.

- Goes to test out the stasis tech. It can only be activated from inside the rift. Something goes wrong, and it affects Vance, now in suspended animation.

- Cecil orders the tech guys to fix it. They can’t figure it out. Months pass. A year passes. They’ve essentially given up. Another fucking reminder of lives lost due to his negligence. (It wasn’t really his fault but he thinks it was)

- Cecil grows cold. Was already cold to begin with, though. Comes to conclusion that he shouldn’t be forming meaningful relationships with people. It will affect his mental state and make him more prone to error. Gives up on romance and friendships. Never become too attached. Is still dedicated to her, though, and tells people that he is widowed. The accident had to be kept private since the project was classified.

- 8 years pass. Omni-man crisis. Etc. Eventually recruits Robot/Rudy. Rudy is trying to figure out Cecil (iykyk). Discovers Vance. Succeeds in freeing her.

- Vance says she feels like a split second passed: what happened? Rudy tells her, her heart sinks. Oh fuck. “Where’s Cecil?”

- Cecil hears of this and looses his shit. Something he’d never anticipated happening, happened. Has to reevaluate the last 8 years of his life. He was damaged.

- He sees Vance. Vance doesn’t care that he looks 8 (or more let’s be real) years older than her now. She still sees him for what he is. Cecil realizes that his view of relationships was fucked up. Essentially he was coping for his own loss. It comes back to him. What he really felt was devotion, not reclusion. They reunite.

There’s a little more but it’s CoMiC sPoIlErS and major ones at that so it will be omitted. Honestly might be better off without those details anyway.

Now burn me alive pls

[johaerys-writes]

Would Patroclus and Achilles in any of your modern AUs be willing to take a sex tape of themselves? And if they are/are not, why?

Ajshssgs okay first of all: anon your MIND 😩🔥 Thank you for blessing me with this ask, I had a really great time thinking of my answer for it 🫶

I honestly think that sex tapes + patrochilles go well in every universe that has recording technology LOL because like... Achilles is a shameless exhibitionist who has no shame when it comes to these things, Patroclus is much shier but if Achilles asked it of him I think he would do it ahah. I can totally see Disasters!Patrochilles experimenting with filming themselves a few years down the line, and I'm sure they'd both get a kick out of it. But I'm really not sure they'd ever share it online or anything like that. Achilles wouldn't care if anyone saw them, but Patroclus is much more private when it comes to his sexuality and his kinks. So yes for filming the tape, but probably a no on whether they’d ever share it.

I recently wrote a one shot with my pal @baejax-the-great which is a patrochilles threesome with Menelaus and is set in the universe of her fic Sweet Victory, which in turn is loosely inspired by Disasters. I feel like Achilles and Pat are much bigger sluts in this so they would totally both film the sextape AND share it LMAO (even if it was just to tease Menelaus while he's away 😌)

Also also I have another modern AU in mind (so many AUs 😩) that I've talked about before here, I totally intend to write it eventually I just need to iron out some details first haha so bear with me. So in this AU Patroclus and Achilles are estranged childhood friends that end up working together in the same firm, with Achilles as Pat's senior manager. Achilles is a BEAST when it comes to business, like completely ruthless, and Pat is at once scared of him and horny for him and has had a crush on him since forever, and things get even worse when he finds out completely by accident that Achilles has an OF account on the side and an IG where he's constantly posting thirst trap pictures of himself LMAO. A lot of messiness ensues 😏

So anyway, in this AU that I'm definitely totally writing Achilles would absolutely film a sextape with Pat and post it on his OF and Pat would be too whipped to ever say no lmaoooo

Thank you once again for sending this ask!! I had a blast answering it 💙💙

[minheelovelee]

Could you write something nsfw about Baekseung? 😵‍💫 I don't have anything specific in mind, anything you'd like!

i’ll probably continue my a-z nsfw series. lmk if you wanna see other members!

warnings: nsfw lol.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

- giggly. laughs at everything. he gets that post-nut happiness. feels like a dolphin jumping through a golden hoop surrounded by bubbles and sparkles. whatever that means.

- hugs you and kisses you everywhere on ur face.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

- likes his waist. he’s always wearing those slutty ass crop tops like come on ur just asking to be praised.

- he likes boobs lol. he’s so tall so he can see them really good from his angle. speaking from experience.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

- always uses a condom. has one on him at all times. just incase. he doesn’t like it messy bc he hates cleaning it up. if u asked him to cum anywhere else, he would, bc your his princess and he does whatever you ask <3

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

- likes being choked. he did it on accident when getting off and after he came he was like. why did i do that. he did it again. and again.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

- virgin. he watches pr*n so he thinks he knows what’s happening. he doesn’t. he’s a quick learner though.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

- he fucking loves taking u from behind. especially when ur bent over a surface so he can actually reach you. likes grabbing at ur hair.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

- he’s so smiley bc he luvs u. but he keeps it p serious. doesn’t really laugh until after sex. he’s like wow can’t believe i just had s*x.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

- i really don’t know???? i would guess he keeps it clean but not bald.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

- he’s really good at the whole boyfriend thing. even if he’s not ur boyfriend he can sure act like it. just wants to make you feel loved and fuck you like a slut.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

- doesn’t do it often. it’s a biweekly thing. he would die if he got caught. does what needs to be done though.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

- choking. really likes grabbing ur neck from behind and yanking you up to his chest. if u like it he’d be so happy. also likes getting choked bc he’s kind of crazy. put your hand on his neck when ur riding him and he’ll smile so big.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

- bedroom. likes to keep things private. likes fucking in hotel rooms too.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

- if u hint that you want it, he’s giving it to you. doesn’t play around. just tell him what you want.

- always wants to fuck when you cook for him. likes when u wine and dine him. dinner and a good time.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

- won’t keep going if someone walks in unexpectedly. he’s like gtfo i hate living here. then he gets soft and goes down on you. poor baek.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

- laurves both. isn’t offended if you don’t want to give him head bc he’s p big. if he’s too big for you he’ll help you take it slow. dies when you take it all btw.

- thinks giving head is so fun. ur sitting on his face for sure. also likes it from behind. holds you in place reallll tight.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

- both. he’s lanky, but he has nice control over his hips. likes it rough overall though.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

- so down. especially if ur just exchanging head and calling it a day. will do anything to please you and would go down on you before you left for the day. he’s fine waiting. <3

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

- not that risky. would try anything you wanted simply bc you asked.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

- can go up to 3. then he starts complaining like “damn bitch you still going?”

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

- doesn’t own any. would let you vibe tf out of him though.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

- he wants to give you the entire world and more. doesn’t tease unless you give him a reason too.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

- makes nice sounds. <3 like sooooo so pretty. long drawn-out moans + grunting right in ur ear. likes whispering to you too. keeps it pretty quiet overall but likes to remind you he’s there making you feel this nice.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

- cockwarm him. while he’s playing video games or writing lyrics in his room. just appreciates the warmth and closeness a lot. <3

- also can we talk about the fact that everyone thinks he’s some kind of sex god daddy dom. like yeah I agree. BUT. he might cry the first time you have sex bc it’s so overwhelming.

X = X-ray

- there’s absolutely no way he isn’t packing heat. like his hands are huge. his body is huge. he acts like he has the biggest cock in the world. im thinking like 7 on a bad day? somewhere between 7 and 8 on his best days.

Y = Yearning

- would fuck you everyday if you wanted. don’t ask to fuck every night though bc he’ll do that instead of sleeping.

Z = Zzz

- stares at you for as long as possible. he’s just trying to figure out how he ended up here. likes watching you sleep too. he’s good to do stuff after sex or nap. whatever u want. <3

[nrilliree]

The TG is really special.

They are the type to complain about being harassed by TB under the pretext that we are talking about their ridiculous opinions, when in the end, we are only giving our opinion on our side on posts that we have seen, (usually by accident as well) all without inciting hatred.

But in the meantime, they are the TGs who come to our inboxes anonymously or not, to tell us horrors and question our morality and reblog posts that are clearly not for them in the first place. They even go so far as to stalk certain accounts.

Just look at the time I published an innocent post about Daemon looking lovingly at Rhaenyra and the 25 anonymous hate messages I received some time later. Sometimes I even receive several hate posts at the same time or following some of the publications.

I imagine them lurking in the shadows like predators with their prey. It is pathetic.

Your blog is the biggest example of this with all the TG having visited it even though it is directly written in the presentation of your blog that you are anti TG. What more do they want after a while ?

A Nettles fan once claimed that since it was a public platform everyone could reply to me and I had nothing to complain about.

Except yes. Because there are tags, and tags are made for a reason. Namely showing when a position is not right for this or that person and preventing them from falling for it.

The pro TG, antis TB, antis Rhaenyra, antis, Daemon, and antis Rhaenyra are definitely some of the most established people I have met on this platform.

I want to say once again that I am sorry for the last TG message you received. It's simply shameful and this kind of person should definitely not be allowed to use internet.

What more do they want after a while? More and more often, I have the impression that some people simply want to get rid of accounts that do not suit them. Instead of simply blocking them, they will spam, insult, send anonymous messages, start arguments under posts, and then continue to complain that they are being persecuted by TB, hoping that some people will either change their mind or get fed up and delete their accounts or stop speak. And the rest don't even see that these black sheep are harming the half of the fandom that likes TG.

Thank you. I simply blocked all accounts for private access. But it's still funny that someone would rather bother this way instead of just coming and discussing without using an anonymous name, lol.

[fantasytoartt]

I hope this is okay. I send an ask/ as a I still like to tuck your store everyday and for going on 4 days now there has been a "private purchase". And honestly with all your crafts, I'm surprised someone hasn't boughten it. But seeing the word private makes me think I'm not allowed to get it.. So I just hope to know if this is a new item you are testing or is this actually something you're trying to sell to an individual? Because if you're selling it to someone specific, completely understand, but if this is just something people are hesitant about, To me that just sounds like a "mystery bag" that I'm curious about.

Sorry I ramble a little, don't really know how to summarize that. But I hope you're doing well, and happy to see your three evils pins are doing great too ^^

Hey no you're so fine for asking! When listings go up as private it's actually because someone messaged me to buy something that I either don't have available in my shop OR something that was out on hold for them! Which is why I try to be as vague as possible so nobody buys it by accident. LoL

I usually post them and they're purchased same day but this one in particular had to be held off due to an emergency so it's been lingering longer than needed.

HOWEVER, there will be actual real listings going up still this month! I should have two new pins probably in the next two weeks and I'm also going to have art prints go up probably within the next week! ❤️

[butterglitter]

The Forgotten Love

You had a crush on boy who didn't even know that you existed. But will that be the case forever?

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This is my first tumblr post. I hope you like it. If you like this story, please feel free to ask me to write about another one.

TW: Yandere themes, talking about self harm , hinted kidnapping (I don't support any type of obsessive behavior and self harm in reality. If anyone of you are dealing with this, please take actions against it. Anyway take care besties!

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You were a dorky student in your school. You liked to paint and watch cartoons and stuff. Like most typical girls, You also had a crush on a basket ball player. He was an emo type. He wasn't the captain or anything but he was really good at playing basket ball. The coach wanted to make him the team captain but he refused since, he didn't talk much to anyone, he didn't want to become one.

One day you decided to confess your love to him before the tournament. Well, whatever you do, always confess your love to someone in PRIVATE. But since you weren't any romance guru, You didn't know that.

HAHAHA! Do you think I will date someone like you? I don't even know your name. He said.

You felt your world collapse. How could you be so stupid? Worst of all, a girl came to him and gave him a kiss right on the lips. That girl glanced at you and snarled. "Babe~" She said, "who are you talking with? " She was non other than Jessica.

"A nobody. Anyway, the match will start soon.. so, make sure to cheer for me babe, I will have surprise for you when we get home". He said to her.

Then they both laughed and left. All eyes were on you. Everyone was whispering about you and laughing. Heck, they thought it was the best failed love confessions. You felt suffocated. And you ran away.....

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Years passed away as you experienced water drip from the skies, leaves falling out from the branches and snow falling in front of you like pearls. Everything changed and so did you. The rejection that you had gone through made you stronger. And after that incident, you mainly focused on your studies. You built your confidence and worth that no mean popular girls can obtain. You have changed mentally and physically in a way that you felt comfortable with. Life became sweet. You became a nurse and took care of patients. The patients loved your gentle smile and warm embrace. They thought no one could reject you. But they were not familiar with your past.

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In present, you were working as usual and a new patient got admitted into the hospital. You were assigned to work for his recovery. As you were reading about his information...........

"Jake Lantin?" You muttered out. He was your crush.. It said that he got into an accident revolving around fire and got seriously burned. You didn't want to treat him but you had to. You entered the room where he resided in. His face was nothing like you remembered.... It wasn't smooth and it was covered in blood. Well, his whole body actually. Obviously, you had no interest in treating him. But you felt pity looking at his condition. So, you started to nurse him. He was in deep coma due to the impact.

But he recovered slowly and started to talk to you. He didn't know that you were the same girl that he rejected all those years back. And you never told him either. He started to get comfortable with you. He said that when he and his girlfriend (Yes, the same mean girl, Jessica . You can say that Jake loved her too much. Lol ) went to shopping mall, a fire formed due to reckless behavior with the wiring. And they both were locked inside the mall. Well, Jake would go unharmed but his girlfriend, Jessica couldn't able to get out, So, Jake saved her and thus, got badly injured. But Jessica broke up with him cuz he wasn't attractive anymore. (Poor Jake) You felt bad for him. At least he was loyal to his partner. Anyway, you took care of him. And he started to get to know you more. And thus, he started to develop feelings for you.. You started to like him as your friend. But the feelings you had for him were gone . What he did back all those years hurt you but you realized he became a good man that's why you have forgiven him. But he would get anxious if you wouldn't come early to tend him. And he wanted to harm himself so that you pay extra attention to him. He wanted only you. He loved you. He wanted to kiss you passionately. He would get jealous if you mentioned any man. He grew obsessive towards you that you will leave him just like Jessica.

Well, soon he got discharged and while you were assisting him , unaware of his planning. He decided that he will have you. You are only the one who could stay besides him You belonged to him, nobody else. You were his.

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