#i played for a season and still dont understand the offside rule

[groovebunker]

annual sports dyke pilgrimage to see my girls beat the netherlands ft a 90th minute goal (!!!)

[tradetobest]

I went to my first pens game in March (Vs the Hurricanes). I don't really like hockey and don't understand it. Why does the ref just randomly blow the whistle and they all have to stop??? I didn't understand

first of all. that is the FUNNIEST game to have gone to. as a leafs fan who complains about missing michael bunting to anyone who will listen going to see his two next teams play each other is an incredible coincidence. ok nerding over

the refs will blow the whistle in three circumstances: a goal, a penalty, or a rule violation. "they all stop" is probably an indication that it was a penalty (theyre more likely to idle), as when it's a rule violation they usually just skate over to where the faceoff is gonna be but ill explain both anyway.

penalty: there are a couple different types of penalties, but the most common is a minor penalty. a few of these are tripping, elbowing, hooking, and holding. they're usually pretty self-explanatory, and when they happen the whistle gets blown and the guy who does it has to go into the penalty box for two minutes. usually guys will also skate to the ref to complain about the penalty. very funny.

honestly penalties are sort of hard to spot, especially if its your first game. i still have trouble if im not focusing fully on the game and i LOVE being insane about spotting little things. they also dont provide like. programs or shit at hockey games. like, why is there no beginners guide? smh. but yeah. penalties are Putting That Grown Man in timeout, and an absolute Delight.

since there's a guy in the box, the team has to play one player down, and the other team gets to keep all of their players (a 5v4). this is good for most teams but ESPECIALLY not the pittsburgh penguins, who are very bad at it. rip to u....

rule violations: to my knowledge there are two of these: offside and icing. theyre a bit more difficult so im gonna put diagrams, and also explanations.

there are three zones in the hockey rink: the offensive zone (where the opposing team's goalie is), the neutral zone (in between the blue lines), and the defensive zone (where your team's goalie is).

offside: when a player crosses the blue line from the neutral zone into the offensive zone before the puck does. cant do that!!

icing: a player shooting the puck the length of the ice, crossing the centre line and the opponents goal line. theres a BUNCH of complications to it, but that's it at its most simplest form. this rule was made bcs players used to just camp their own net and shoot the puck down the ice to prevent the other team from scoring, which is unfair and unfun to watch.

anyway hope that helped!!!!! hope it was also. comprehensible. thanks for helping me procrastinate my final!!!! hope you get to go to another game next season (or ?? i guess the pens have 3 games left so) and have fun and maybe understand a little bit!!!!

[icecreamkink]

im very aware that when people rec sports media by saying things like 'you dont need to like sports at all!!' what it usually means is 'enjoying this sport will actively get in the way of liking this media' and its fine. ok. but like. People Who Self Proclaimedly Don't Like Sports

for fucks sake stop saying that ted lasso is Actually a good and competent coach bc he ✨ Cares ✨ . one, not enough and two. he is actually really fucking not; gonna put this under a cut and its kinda negative beware etc

yeah the premise of the show is 'haha american dude doesn't know what hes doing' i know, and football isnt the point, i know, but its. you have to admit at some point that ted lasso wants to have it both ways; it wants the haha what Is football and it wants to defend teds coaching style bc he is a kind person. bc he knows how to bring people out of their shell on a personal level. and thats great.  there is a discussion in the fandom whether caring abt winning is or isn't more important than caring for the people on the team in professional sports, or if ted is or isnt a good coach bc hes not v confrontational, and in my view these are not issues at all. however what everyone seemingly ignores is that-

ted is and continues to be for the entire show, HUGELY incompetent and ignorant, just, completely ignorant of anything regarding football, by his own constant admission, and he never cares to or bothers to learn. anything, at all. at any point. no, his kindness is NOT enough to make him a competent professional. no, his mental struggles dont explain why he is uninterested in doing his job. not only that, his disregard with understanding what the fuck it is hes doing at all is actually a pretty big hole in the 'caring' and even the 'underestimated' characterization of teds. like, people claim he's helping the athletes "on and off the field" but thats not true; he's only helping them off the field. ted does shit all to help them on the field, shit all, even his match choices, like benching jamie and starting with roy, are personal decisions thinking about them off the field. but a team of professionals and a club that employs dozens more people than ted lasso portrays depends on him and the narrative seems not to realize this. this is their livelihoods, not a footy camp for children. giving them books is great, but its not a substitute to knowing even the basics of whats at stake , like relegation, for example and i cant get over how many people found this blatant ignorance cute.

the fact that at episode 8 ted doesn't know what relegation is; that months into the job we're still having 'what is offside lollol' jokes; the fact that on the day richmond is going to play everton, he has no idea they haven't won against everton in decades, which means he hasnt reasearched everton at all. that only the day before a match against man city , only then teds gonna bother with gameplan strategies, meaning, again, he didnt research their oponent at all even though its a crucial game and man city is a technically much superior team that would demand careful tactic to beat; the fact he sees that nate, a kit man, has some tactical understanding and then just settles with relying on him alone, not even like, getting someone else to exchange ideas and train nate as a coach, just 'sure this'll do'. (there is also the fact that richmond is illogically understaffed and it bothers me like an itch, but like. its a show, alright, whatever)

these are jokes, yeah, but they're also ted being bad at his job. he has not done the minimum, really not even the bare minimim amount of research. he doesn't get familiar with the game, he doesn't understand positions, tactics, rules, plays, he doesn't know football history, he doesn't research the oponents, he doesn't even know how the league works! again, that's months into his position; the fact on the last episode of season one, after training Richmond for half a season, on the brink of relegation, ted is still fucking telling rebecca he doesn't know anything. as if he doesn't have not only the ability, opportunity but also the obligation of yknow. reasearching. getting informed. doing his job. care, since ppl love to talk about how much he cares. the idea that ted can care about the players as people while at the same time apparently not giving a fuck abt understanding what theyre all doing here is a huge, gaping logical hole in ted lasso's writing; before analyzing whether or not ted is a pushover, whether or not teds too passive, whether or not hes too non competitive, whether his positivity is good or bad, we have to ignore the fact this show actually tried to get away with 'nate and roy (both inexperienced too btw) take care of pesky game strategy, performance analysis, a team training and ted, the manager, only takes care of the players hearts <3' as if thats not only fair, but a good thing. he is utterly uninterested in half of his job, and that makes him a bad professional (and contradictingly selfish, too);   and 'oh football isnt the point' simply doesnt cut it for me. its lazy, and its annoying.

AND. for the record . i think ted lasso misses gigantic comedic and storytelling opportunities by doing this. teds clueless fish out of water self would be a lot more endearing and a lot more interesting and a lot funnier if it came up when hes researching his job, being interested in it, learning about it instead of being passively told these things and continuing to ignore them. rebecca being frustrated that her plan is shaking bc ted is willing to do the work and step up to his role would have been so much more effective than her being stumped bc hes just so aw shucks nice, period. they couldve shown that ted isnt just kind, but responsible, self aware, caring. it definitely would've helped with the show not feeling slimily 'usamericans come to teach meanie brits how to Lowve and to show how their outlook on life is Better' at times ( which was thankfully made more complicated in s2, but its still kind of there in the story tbh). there are endless hilarious football drama that they couldve used or brought up. there are so many storytelling opportunities to be found within matches. many more and more interesting contrasts as to how the popular sports in the us work vs how football works. football has an extremely unique relationship with people (in good and bad ways) and the show baaarely touches on that. like fucking hell we never even see the secondary characters that we assume are passionate so much as watch a match.

So. for the love of god. and i say all this as someone who did enjoy ted lasso, if mostly isolated episodes or storylines. stop saying ted is a good coach. he might be a good friend, a good influence, a good motivational speaker, tocador de pandeiro. a good pov character. but he is really not a good coach, much less a good manager, and thats a very valid criticism of the show