#i peaked at jan i fear

[kiwi-b0nes]

I wanted to try this since I felt like I had drawn a lot this year but apparently I slept for two months ?? loll I still feel like I've done a lot more than last year Thank you for all the support and comments in the tags !!! it really means a lot lot ❤ ❤ ❤

[buckychristwrites]

Okay I’ve had this idea in my head FESTERING. Probs because I’ve been moving but I just think about reader being stressed out over her move cause she can’t afford to get movers and Jamie doesn’t like seeing her upset so he gets all the Richmond boys to come help her move?

Oh my god he WOULD do that.

It was only a few hours.

You had left the flat for only a few hours, to run some errands and grab a bite.

The stress of the move had taken over your thoughts and free time. Many nights had been spent in tears, either on your own or with Jamie trying and failing to comfort you.

Which explained why you were so distracted that you didn’t notice the influx of cars in front of your building, or the familiar faces who you passed on the stairs.

A wave of fear washed over you when you got to your floor and saw the front door open. Voices echoed out loudly, with music playing as well. Slowly, you approached, peaking your head, tears filling your eyes immediately.

Front and center was Jamie, as if this was planned. His back was to you while he filled up yet another box. Surrounding him in Renassaince painting style was the rest of the AFC Richmond team. Roy was moving boxes from one place to another. Sam was carefully placing your books into a box. Isaac was packing up the kitchen. It was then that you finally realized that it was Jan Maas and Moe who you passed on the stairs.

The place was almost entirely packed.

“What’s going on?” You asked. The entire room froze, Jamie spinning around to face you.

“Fuck,” He said. I was hopin’ you’d be out longer.”

You gestured to the entire room before saying, “How much did you guys do?” Jamie and Roy exchanged a look.

“All of it,” Roy said. “This is the last room.”

You were speechless as they stared at you.

“I- wh- Why?”

Jamie’a eyebrows knitted together.

“‘Cos you’ve been stressed to the heavens about it. I hate it when you cry… I wanted to surprise ya.”

You didn’t realize you were moving until you crashed into Jamie’s chest, your arms tight around him. No tears this time, just a heavy sigh of relief.

“Thank you so much.”

He kissed your forehead.

“Anything for you, love.”

[covid-safer-hotties]

COVID still rages, and the Biden administration isn’t helping - Published Jan 6, 2024

Readers who bristled at my assertion roughly a year ago — when the term “post-pandemic” was used a lot more cautiously than it is now — that we should still be masking really won’t like this: We should still be wearing masks indoors, because the COVID-19 pandemic still rages. And, as a physician writing on The Times’ op-ed page makes clear, the Biden administration isn’t helping.

The numbers of new infections and hospital admissions are sobering: Wastewater data indicate that the JN.1 variant of COVID-19 is infecting about 2 million Americans every day, making this surge second in prevalence only to the Omicron wave that hit in 2021 and 2022. Thanks to vaccines, the Omicron peak was less deadly than the wave that hit in late 2020 and early 2021, when mask mandates and social distancing were still our primary weapons against COVID-19 and inoculation was only beginning.

Even though the Omicron wave for most people marks the beginning of the “living with this disease” phase of COVID — where we forgo mitigation and accept the risks of infection by a survivable virus — large groups of people fared worse than ever. You know who did really poorly? Cancer patients, who died at a higher rate than during any previous surge. With compromised immune systems, they benefit more from mitigation measures such as masking than vaccination, but by the time Omicron rolled around many of us had grown tired of covering our faces and keeping our distance.

For most people, the price of an Omicron infection was mild illness and possibly long COVID; for cancer patients, it was a higher likelihood of dying.

As for long COVID — when crippling symptoms persist for months or even years after infection — it’s hard to quantify the price to society from millions of people walking around with brain fog and fatigue for interminable periods, not to mention the increased risk of heart disease and stroke long after infection. Deciding to live with COVID doesn’t mean any of this goes away, if by “living with COVID” you mean refusing to wear a high-quality mask.

Writing on our op-ed page, Dr. Eric J. Topol — whose work communicating the risks of unfettered virus circulation I consider indispensable — reminds us of the damage this JN.1 surge does to people without fully functioning immune systems, and the need of the government to continue developing vaccines that deliver better protection from COVID variants. He ends his piece, appropriately, by criticizing the Biden administration’s complacency:

“It’s crickets from the White House on COVID now, with no messaging on getting the updated booster or masking. The Biden administration has done far too little to accelerate research on effective treatments for long COVID.

“This passivity reinforces the illusion that the pandemic is behind us when it’s actually raging. And this season will be followed by a more quiescent period, which will, once again, lull us into thinking the pandemic is over. But there is no getting over it until we recognize reality and double down on the research that will allow us to block infections and virus spread, and achieve lasting, variant-proof immunity.”

As we head towards this year's election, remember just how much pain and suffering Biden's inaction on covid has caused and continues to cause. There are several candidates running whose covid policy is light years away from Biden's. Vote for what you believe in, not out of fear. Do everything you can to make a better future instead of stifling better for maybe perhaps kinda not as bad (for you personally based on vibes).

[karatekels]

Solar Flare – Prologue

Hey y’all – welcome to the Valek fic that I’ve been wanting to write since all the way back in August of last year! I’ve been polishing up the ideas and developing some new characters (this is my first time writing an OC as a love interest!) as well as looking forward to some returning characters (*eyes Cassandra*), and I’m hoping this will be the fic that gets me back into the writing frame of mind. With that, I hope you enjoy!

Summary: As vampires become a growing problem and the number of Slayers dwindles, the Catholic Church decides to perform another ‘miracle’, attempting to create a weapon that will be able to find the despicable creatures in any and all shadows that they may hide. Similarly to the botched exorcism of Jan Valek, the experimental ceremony that Rose Hanlon undergoes doesn’t go exactly as intended, and she escapes the city with a set of abilities she doesn’t even understand.

TW: [this chapter] relatively vague descriptions of violence and abuse

TW: [for the fic; may change as I write] blood-drinking and other vampirism fun, graphic violence, graphic sex, abduction, abuse, threats

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Solar Flare

Prologue: Syzygy

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From the journal of Father Killian…

July 27th, 1998

We’ve received news that yet another team of Slayers has been decimated, torn apart and massacred just north of Sicily. Our numbers are dwindling like never before, and the clergy have become desperate for a solution. The Diaconate of Monteriggioni has spent countless hours researching, trying to determine a solution that will allow us to hold them off while our numbers return; we need more soldiers to wield God’s Light. The Archbishop has granted permission to use any means necessary to fend off these attacks, and their leading suggestion certainly pushes that permission to the limits of His clemency.

It began with research into the Old Rites. After all, the Primogen of their monstrous ilk, Jan Valek, was a result of a misbegotten exorcism – why not pursue a similar avenue to try to atone for the sins of our past? This train of thought led our scholars to a series of old Germanic texts, the eldest of which preceded vampirism by several decades, and to a binding ritual intended for relics. Such a blessing would allow for relics to be traceable should they be stolen, so that we need not live in fear of losing these precious symbols of our faith. It was one of the youngest parishioners that suggested the ritual be performed on a human, allowing them to seek out evil like a beacon and lead our Slayers right to their nests.

The peak of the Perseid meteor shower in two weeks’ time will be the ideal time to perform the necessary rites according to Father Lorenzo. The Tears of Saint Lawrence returning to Earth every summer is already a celestial blessing, and with the shower’s radiant approaching Cassiopeia more than it has in centuries, this will only strengthen the binding of this blessing to its vessel.

All that remains now is to find one.

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August 10th, 1998

The past days have had Monteriggioni in a frenzy. Staving off attacks, finalizing the plans for the ritual, and finding a vessel… This last step proved by far the most difficult, as they needed to be descended from the Crusaders, grown but not an active Slayer, someone useful for the role but not expendable should things go… awry.

Jeremy Hanlon came to me a week ago with an option, just when we were starting to think that all hope may be lost. Hanlon, a fifth-generation Slayer with both family lines tracing back to the Crusaders, suggested his daughter as the vessel. The young woman, Rose, has long posed a problem within the city’s walls and to her family, rejecting the tenets of our community and refusing to train as a Slayer or to marry a man of similar lineage to continue the bloodline. Hanlon has spent the better part of her lifetime trying to atone for the sins of his daughter, and believes that this opportunity is the road to her salvation as well as our own. Despite the woman’s violent reluctance, we have run out of time to pursue other avenues, and as an unmarried woman, her father has retained custodial rights as is customary with our laws, and has agreed on her behalf.

Fortunately the ceremony is to take place tonight, during the peak of the Perseid shower. The sunset can’t come soon enough; the intensity of her ire rattles the very stones of the vestry in which she is being kept.

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August 16th, 1998

The ceremony was performed, and we have spent a week with the vessel in relative isolation as Rose continues to be… resistant. At the very least, it has allowed us to gradually determine the success of the ritual and the limitations of her new abilities.

On the second day, we were able to use a captured thrall to conduct an experiment, moving the vile creature into the rooms surrounding her own. Without fail, she was able to detect what room the vampling was located in through a feeling she described as an itch that needed scratching. This bodes well for her intended purpose, and it is expected that a more aged or powerful vampire will elicit a stronger sensation, thereby enabling the Slayers to identify the most imminent threat during a pursuit.

A more serious issue arose yesterday. Rose is compelled to obey a direct command from a member of the clergy, as enforced by the use of certain runes during the ceremony, and this has held true for the most part. She will perform simple tasks and answer questions asked of her as instructed, but it would appear that there was a mistranslation with the runes that has led to her obeying vampires as well. The same thrall used for her previous days’ training was brought into her cell to test Rose’s capacity to destroy the foul creatures. Initially she attempted to fight off the compulsion to serve her purpose and exterminate the abomination, but looked to be conceding until the thrall asked her for help.

We lost three good priests last night; she tore into them like they were made of paper. Her strength and speed have definitely been elevated beyond a normal human’s capacity, though not to the level of the vampiric. There is some concern amongst the Scholars that a vampire would be able to supersede our own commands if they knew it would be effective, but if we can make her amenable to our pursuits, it should not pose a legitimate threat in practice.

In the name of the Father, let her soul settle into this new role, so that she may guide us to our Salvation.

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August 19th, 1998

She’s gone. Rose has escaped.

The security tapes showed her clearly trying to commit suicide to no avail – she has been made to endure, after all. Furious, she tore a leg off of the bedframe and pounded her way through the hinges on the door. Further cameras had shown her tearing through the halls and disappearing into the catacombs without a trace.

We have sent for one of the strongest remaining regiments of Slayers from their base in New Mexico; they are our only hope of retrieving Rose so that we may make the necessary adjustments to her blessing and stand a chance against the ever-growing threat of the vampiric race.

Not only do I fear for the vessel and what she represents, but for the girl as well. We cannot be certain that we have seen all of her abilities at work, or identified any newly created weaknesses, and she could be in greater danger than she knows. Should a lesser man of the cloth – or, God forbid, a vampire – stumble upon her and learn of their powers of persuasion over her, I shudder to think of what fate might befall her.

Our Lord works in mysterious ways; let this turn of events be a blessing in disguise.

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Syzygy refers to three celestial bodies appearing in a straight line – In this case, we’ve got Valek, Rose, and Jack!

[muse-write]

Towering Past

Here's my entry for the 2024 Inklings Challenge (@inklings-challenge)!

Jan. 12, 2023

H.,

Sorry for not responding to your Christmas letter…or your New Years’ letter. Really, I am! I know you probably think I’m tired of this method of communication—and I can’t rightly say I’m not—but there was more to my lack of response than sheer avoidance. I know you well enough to know you haven’t watched the local news anytime recently, so you might not have heard about the October explosion on the upper east side of the city. They’re saying it was a bomb planted in the subway system. It took out half the Northern line and a couple of blocks in every direction.

I have my own story to tell about that explosion, but I would sound insane, so I’ll leave this letter at that. And anyway, my hand is hurting from scribbling this letter out in record time now that I feel up to writing at all. You at least know I’m alive and hopefully you believe I wasn’t avoiding responding on purpose.

How are Jen and the kid doing? If you weren’t so set on letters like this you could text me pictures, you know! Why can’t you just call me like a normal person, H.?!

Love,

Frankie

Jan. 17, 2023

Dear Frankie,

Thanks for responding—finally. I was about to hop on a plane or send a strongly worded letter to your commanding officer just to make sure you hadn’t dropped off the face of the earth. I suppose a cellphone would make this kind of thing easier, but we’ve had that conversation too many times to rehash it now. Jen’s doing fine. Eric is running around and getting into trouble, and we both know who he takes after on that score. I always was a good son, Mother always said. If you please, you might want to drop by and visit next time you’re in the area; you might have some tips born of experience for how to deal with a little boy who insists on coloring on the walls.

What a vague way of ending your story; you aren’t saying you were anywhere near the explosion, are you? I know it’s your job and all, but don’t blame a man for getting worried when his sister defuses bomb threats on the daily. Anyway, you know I wouldn’t find any of your stories insane, and you must tell me your version of events. Just don’t wait another two months to do so, or I really will send your CO a letter asking after you.

Glad to know you’re alive,

Henry

P.S. In the envelope is a bracelet Jen borrowed from you a few years back. She was very worried that you thought she was planning on keeping it forever.

Feb. 10, 2023

H.,

I’ll tell you what happened if you insist. But you have to promise me not to laugh. I haven’t told anyone else what happened; I’m not entirely certain it was not a vivid dream. And you know I’m not much of a storyteller, so it won’t rank among your beloved novels. But it will be what happened to me, as accurately as I can put it. Forgive the late letter. This took days to write down.

First off, the explosion wasn’t an explosion at all—so you can put your fears about me being among the defusement team to rest, at least this time. I had woken that morning to a leisurely day, not having so much as a drill to look forward to on my day off, and that meant I had a clear view out the window at the precise moment a tower erupted from the concrete sidewalk only a block or two away from my apartment. When I ran from my complex down the street, I had no thought of entering the tower—I didn’t even know if it was that kind of tower, one that could be entered—but I knew someone had to check it out, and that someone had best be me, with my gun and military training. I brought my Sauer and phone with me (not being a technophobe like you) and approached the tower.

It was not pretty or elegant or admirable in any way. In fact, it was rather ugly, with sharp jagged peaks—I forget what they are called—at the top, and the walls made of black brick—except it wasn’t brick, it was more like marble or stone, lopsided and uneven, like the tower had been thrown and glued together. And it was completely silent. Nothing moved, except at the very tip-top there was a flashing blue light. Like a signal. It didn’t seem to be Morse code or any other signal method I could make out.

And then something moved in the very highest window, and through a pair of binoculars I took from a man next to me (there was a crowd forming by now) I peered up at it and saw that it was a human.

Henry, do you remember Lieutenant Gorsk? A few years back. It was him. Somehow he had found his way into the tower and all the way to the top, and any doubt of my venturing in there was put to rest.

I would find him.

I am ashamed to say that I didn’t prepare. I was so afraid that if I went back home and returned with gear it would prove to be a dream that I marched straight up to the entrance—I know you’ll beg for a real description, but all I can say now is that it was a door, black and wood of some kind, with an ornate gilded knob for a handle—opened it, and walked through, my hand on my Sauer the whole time. I still had the binoculars from the man outside.

This is where it gets insane, H. The interior of the tower was like one of those ancient cathedrals, you know the ones, like in England. The ones tourists go to and exclaim about and take pictures of sunlight streaming through the windows. Though there wasn’t any stained glass here. And the windows—don’t laugh—they didn’t look out onto Seattle, H. They looked onto a completely different world.

I can’t describe it. I can’t remember it all that clearly, either, it’s a huge blur in my head, after the hospital and…anyway, I remember that outside the sky was red—like blood-red, and below there was a dark river, sluggish and black and I didn’t like to look at it for very long, so I turned away and looked at the tower instead. It was Gothic, I guess. You’re the architecture freak. I’ve attached some pictures below, so make of them what you will.

Anyway, I’d entered a large foyer-like hall, with a great staircase sweeping up the far side and climbing the walls in spiraling loops. There were statues in this room, tons of them, but they were—they had such terrible expressions of sadness and terror that I couldn’t look at them for long, either. Even more than the sights, it was the feeling that stays with me, even months later; there was something utterly depressing about the place despite its eerie beauty. It sank deep into my bones and chilled me to the core. But I had to get to Lieutenant Gorsk. I tightened my fingers on the Sauer and began up the stairs, ready for…well, anything. I had no idea what to expect from a place like this.

And what I encountered, I had no way of expecting at all.

What descended down the stairs towards me when I had only climbed a few steps was a horde of—I don’t know what to call them. Demons, I suppose. They were not like the demons you see on church windows under the feet of angels. Some of them almost looked human, but were spindly and covered in scales like lizards or dragons or fish, scales that were matte and dark and reflected no light. Others weren’t human at all, but animal-like, though they resembled no animal I’ve ever seen except that they traveled on four legs, or maybe more. The horde of things surged toward me and I raised my gun to shoot.

I have killed people in my career, H., you know that. I’ve spent entire nights awake in my bed unable to get rid of their faces. I killed these things almost too easily, though the scaled ones gave my bullets some trouble. I had to resort to picking up a sword, fallen on the ground a few feet away from a bleached skeleton, to pierce through the gaps in the armor. It was helpful in preserving my ammo, since I’d only brought the few rounds that were in my gun, and I would need one round for when I reached the top--though I wondered what kind of other world I’d stumbled into. Who had this person been who had ventured in and died with a sword in their hand?

I proceeded up the stairs past the corpses, which were dusting away as though they had never existed in the first place. The tower reared up above me. Along its walls were grotesque tapestries of things I do not wish to remember, and I kept my eyes on the stairs and the gaping doorways I passed, waiting for another horde of demon-like things. I have been a soldier for decades, and never have I been more grateful for it than when I was ascending those stairs. My training kept me safe.

I reached the first landing and had to fight through another horde. I will not describe them all—some of them I don’t remember clearly enough, and others were simply too odd to put into words. All I know is that, with gun and sword, I managed to clear a path up the stairs.

But then one of them got the first hit in. I remember these clearly: three large, hulking things, with mouths like lions and bodies like eagles, large golden wings sending strong wind swirling around the landing. I could not move forward. My bullets barely pierced their hides. My sword could not break through their guard, and one of them sent an arm forward and its claws slashed my shoulder to ribbons. It burned like a gunshot wound, and I knew there was no hope of me defeating all three of them. I could only run and hide and hope they didn’t pursue me, so I turned and left the staircase to venture into the rest of the tower.

This floor was full of branching halls and large empty rooms that smelled of decay. The red sky outside left a garish red tint to everything that unnerved me, but I ran down hallways at random and tried to remember my way back to the stairs in case I lived long enough to return. The lion-eagle creatures chased me, but gave up soon afterward, and vanished into other areas of the tower. I ducked into an empty room and used the relative peace and quiet to inspect my arm. It was bleeding heavily, and I made a note to myself to check it for infection later in the day, assuming I survived that long.

I could have turned around. Abandoned my quest. Left Lieutenant Gorsk up at the top of the tower and returned to the peace of my house, a peace I had fought so hard for and tried to attain for so long. But you know what he did to me, Henry.

At the time, it seemed obvious to me that this was my second chance at justice. My chance to make peace, finally, with what had been done to me, and leave it in the past.

It never occurred to me to wonder how Gorsk had found his way here, or what had been done to him in the process, until much later on that day.

I wrapped my wound in strips from my shirt and hoped it would hold and wished I had some antiseptic, but a dirty shirt would have to do as gauze. Then I tried to creep out of the room, but realized that the door was locked. I had not closed it.

Demons appeared in the room around me, the scaled spindly ones I had fought off before, and I had become used to their movements and attacks and knew with relative certainty how to defeat them. A few strong strikes with a sword would weaken them, a gunshot through the head would finish them off. I would rely mostly on the sword now; I was running low on ammo, and I did not know how many more floors I would have to fight through. I refused to think about the fight back down once I reached the top. There had to be ten demons in the room, and my shoulder was burning and slowed me down, and there were quite a few close calls I prefer not to think about. I don’t know what it would have been like to be killed by one of these things and I don’t want to imagine it. They had sharp teeth meant for ripping and biting, and at some point after I killed a few of these I began tearing those teeth from the corpses’ mouths for extra weapons.

Ten of these demons were more than enough to test me, but with a lot of luck I managed not to die, and had a pocketful of demon teeth-blades to show for it at the end.

The door unlocked by itself as the last demon corpse dusted away.

I ventured back to the stairs, losing my way a few times in the process, and it was amazing what a relief it was to see the familiar grand staircase spiraling up over my head once again rather than the red wash of the old windows. The castle grew darker as I headed further up, and there were less and less windows, and less and less red, until I began to long for the light, eerie as it was. It was never dark enough to blind me, but it was surely dark enough for the shadows to shift and move and look like demons. I have had decades of experience calming terror in combat; this tower tried my nerves in a way I have never experienced before and hope to never experience again. In all of those books you’ve read, have you heard the phrase, “bear wrongs patiently”? In the military, I turned that into a talent. I bore the hazing, the combat, the setbacks and the horror and the fear. I tried to do that here, too, but the tower seemed to steal that control away from me, until even I was left trembling like a little girl surrounded by monsters. I gripped my gun in one hand and my sword in the other and ventured on, wishing more and more that I did not feel such an urge to find the Lieutenant. Wishing that I could be normal and move on from that time.

You can maybe understand why it took me so long to finish writing this letter.

I will leave it at that for now, so that you can get your letter in two months and not feel the need to call up my superiors. Though I think a glare from you, looking like some Oxford don, might just frighten Commander Paik more than all the roughest thugs in the city.

Love,

Frankie

Feb. 18, 2023

Frankie,

I don’t quite know how to start this.

First, let me say thank you for trusting me with your story. I don’t think you’re insane, and I didn’t let out a single chuckle.

Second, I am familiar with that tower. It appeared in my own city—around the time yours did. It looked exactly as you describe, and the pictures confirmed it. It was the same, or one of the same type. I entered the tower, though not at all for the same reasons.

You see, when I looked up at the top of it, in the window I saw Jen. Of course, I couldn’t leave her there.

I did not tell you of this before because I did not wish to worry you or cause you alarm; after all, what transpired became something much greater and more beautiful than I could have imagined when I first stepped through the door.

I sympathize with your quest to get to Lieutenant Gorsk. I remember him very well, and I wish I could have been there too, to punch him in the face (a second time, if you remember!). I don’t know if I can condone your mission, nor the intentions you implied, but after what the man did to you, I can’t say I wouldn’t have considered the same. And considering you are not writing me from a jail cell, I need to know the end of the story as soon as you can bring yourself to give it to me.

I did not bring a gun with me—you know my stance on them well enough—but, as with  you, there were plenty of demons. I have never been a fighter, but I picked up a stray sword and a dagger or two and managed to hide and slip past many, and fought those I couldn’t. It was with a great deal of trepidation that I climbed those stairs—I can only imagine you, flying up them like a goddess of vengeance with wings at her feet! It was an eerie experience for me; the light made everything look as though blood covered it. The sun outside was not—right. It was deep and vibrant and would have maybe been pretty if not for the sickly pallor to the sky around it, like when a tornado is about to touch down.

I deciphered that I had entered a new world a little earlier than you. I had found a storage room to hide in—and what a storage room, with jars and masks and boxes—and could not help reading a few of the files I found stuffed in drawers (I know you’re rolling your eyes at me about now, so stop it!). The files were plain documents, just text written in a crusted brown substance I refused to consider any further than necessary, but I couldn’t read a word of it. It was not Latin, nor Greek, nor any derivation of any language I have ever come across. The letters themselves were indecipherable, and anyway I felt like it was best not to know what was written in them, so I shoved the papers back into their drawers and did my best not to wonder. I am not very good at that, but it was time to move on, and my survival (and Jen’s) relied on not being overly distracted by the theoretical.

I reached the top of the tower perhaps slower than you, but with far fewer injuries (please tell me you went to the hospital, Frankie!), and emerged from the stairs into a long corridor that extended to a single door. This part of the tower was not a maze, as I had discovered in the lower levels; it was very straightforward and clear about where I was meant to go. That door was my destination, and behind it must be Jen, and the window through which I had glimpsed her.

There were no enemies laying wait for me along that corridor, but I fully expected there to be some monstrous creature waiting for me behind the door. I grasped the knob. It swung open easily, terrifyingly easy.

I assume this room looked much the same for me as it did for you—circular walls, broad windows letting in that wash of red light anew, a view of a mountain range of some other world, dark and strange, stretching out beyond. Jen was there, and I called her name, but saw that she could not move, because, though she stood, she was enclosed within a barrier of some sort—her hands, I saw, were burned where she had attempted to push through it. There would be no breaking it.

And then the monster—appeared. I mean that very literally; one moment it was not there, and then I blinked, and it was. I could not make sense of it at first; it did not fit your descriptions at all of any of the demons you encountered. It was hulking and winged, but appeared to be made of chitin all over its body, like an insect has, and blue flame flared from the gaps in this natural armor. It bared teeth—I suppose would be the expression, on something that had such an unnatural face—at me, and there were two rows of sharp needle-like prongs.

This terrified me.

But it held Jen, my wife, the mother of my son, and what would I ever say to Eric if I let this beast harm her, or whatever it planned to do with her? Whisk her away? Kill her? Keep her imprisoned here, like some damsel out of a fairy tale, to lure adventurers with?

I tightened my grip on my sword, feeling a sense of hopeless doom fall upon me (yes, that was the only way to describe it, let me have my sense of poetry once in a while without mocking me, Frankie!). There did not seem to be a way I could triumph over such a foe. But neither could I hide or flee or distract it. So fight I must, even if it led to my own death.

I see no reason to regale you with the battle; there was nothing glamorous about it, as you well know. Suffice to say, I charged at it, which was not a good strategy, and my strategy changed to accommodate this. I was injured (and Jen gave me a good lecture about my stupidity later) and the pain nearly made me sick, but miraculously I managed to stay upright. It was a long battle, the monster was fast and strong and wanted me dead as badly as I wanted it dead, and I was afraid every instant, but eventually I managed to get lucky, and the blade sunk deep into one of those infinitesimal cracks in the monster’s chitin, and with a wrench I managed to twist the blade hard into its heart. That is not a feeling I wish to relive, Frankie.

But in the end, the monster lay there, its breath rattling out, and the barrier simply disappeared, just as the monster had suddenly appeared. Jen could move again—she later told me that the barrier had not been there until, presumably, my hand had touched the door; the monster’s doing, I assume—and she rushed to my side. I have never before felt like a brave man, especially when compared to you, brave sister, and I wish it had not taken such awful circumstances to turn me into one.

Jen told me later that she had no idea where she had been; in a moment she had been whisked from the living room of our house to the top of the tower, and for hours she had been staring out at that dark mountain range and the red sky and attempting to find a reasonable way of climbing out. The door had been locked, and the lock had repaired itself even as she had broken it, and escape seemed hopeless, unless she were to throw herself out, and she had not been quite that desperate yet.

Hearing your story, I simply wonder why? Why was it Jen who was picked up and plopped in that window to send me creeping up the stairs? Why was the same done to Lieutenant Gorsk? Was it a punishment? Or coincidence?

Do you have any theories, Frankie?

Henry

Feb. 30, 2024

Henry,

I never would have imagined that you had had such an experience, or that both of us have been carrying it around with us for months without letting on. We’re both stubborn—well, a soldier’s language isn’t something I want to subject you to, so I’ll leave it there.

When I finally did reach the top—though I don’t think it was so much as a goddess of war as a very frightened, very stubborn military-trained soldier—it looked the way you described it. The same long corridor, the same door at the end, the same suspicious lack of enemies. I had one bullet left in my Sauer, and plenty of demon teeth in my pockets.

Except there wasn’t a monster for me. Maybe the tower had decided I’d had my fill. Maybe the final challenge I encountered was the monster. I don’t know. I didn’t think much of it then. I just knew that odious lieutenant was behind that door, and I needed to get in there and shoot him dead, military protocol be damned.

It was a desire for murder, plain and simple, but I wasn’t thinking about the consequences then. I was thinking about those two years of hell, with the king of demons being Lieutenant Gorsk and his stinking breath and wandering hands and my only savior the friendship of Corporal Alice Lewis.

I turned the door, and there he was. Oddly, he was kept in place by the same barrier you described.

H., have I ever told you how easy it is for me to kill someone with a gun? My trusty Sauer, familiar and worn in my palm, my callouses formed around it, my target in its sights. It’s far easier to pull the trigger on my old friend than it is to take my Swiss knife and stab someone in the guts, but I’ve done both. I was prepared to do either, if it meant ridding the world of someone like Gorsk.

By now it’s been…what? Eight years since I was under his command? Not that long, in the grand scheme of things. Two years of hell, and eight years recovering.

I’ve put him out of my mind as best I can. I had almost imagined that I could go my whole life and think only of moving forward, but that vanished the second I laid eyes on him again. All my old rage and hatred and desire for vengeance came back to me in a moment, and propelled me up those stairs. Maybe in that way I was some goddess of vengeance after all.

My gun was lined up with his temple. He stood there, unable to move, his hands and arms burned by the barrier, knowing that I would be the last sight he saw. There was no doubt in his mind in that moment, I’m sure, that I would kill him.

I did. I did kill him, Henry.

I pulled the trigger and he fell back against the wall. It was a clean, cold kill. The door behind me unlocked, and I stepped out onto the stairs again. Going down, there were no enemies to fight, and I relived the moment I had shot him again and again, and did not regret leaving his body there at the top of the tower. I was victorious, the winner, the survivor, and I had killed the man who had made my life a misery for years.

I returned to my apartment, and the tower…crumbled. It fell, brick by brick, stone by stone, back underneath the city, and left no sign it had ever been there. I was quite satisfied with myself, and didn’t feel guilty about what I’d done until that night, when I remembered suddenly that he had had a wife, the last I had heard. Maybe a son, too, but I’m not sure. The next morning, while I ate breakfast, he appeared in the news—but not news of his death. Instead, there was something about some promotion to Major General, and I stabbed myself with my fork and threw my plate across the kitchen.

I realized what had happened soon after that.

I am not writing this from a jail cell, Henry, because to all intents and purposes Lieutenant Gorsk is still living—in this world, anyway. In whatever terrible, twisted mirror world I found myself wandering through, Lieutenant Gorsk is dead, a bullet’s clean entry and exit wound through both sides of his skull. I know I killed him, and I must live with knowing that I was capable of doing so, that I was fully aware of what I was doing. In my mind, he lies in a pool of spreading blood.

Love,

Frankie

[piquedpequod]

"a knot that won't be undone" - fanmix for Voss and Orpheus from Baldur's Gate III Listen: (Youtube) | (Spotify) Lyrics:

From the Place Been Erased - Jambinai I am alive here Deeply suppressing the cold sadness Forgive me for not being able to say anything to you

In the flowing time of forgetfulness I hold my breath so as not to let you go

Everything Turns Blue - Chelsea Wolfe I've been thinking about you, heavy on my mind I've been losing days here, do you know what that's like?

To smoke, to dance, to fly To breathe into the night It falls and everything turns blue To fuck, to feel the same in the end To hurt, to steal, you were so unreal

Chokehold - Sleep Token When we were made It was no accident We were tangled up like branches in a flood I come as a blade A sacred guardian So you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood

Beneath the stormy seas Above the mountain peaks It's all the same to me It makes no difference I've seen my days unfold Done the impossible I'll turn my walls to gold to bring you home again So show me that which I cannot see

Primobile - Killing Joke Separated from each other Yet bounded by time as one Past hurt forgiven now we Recognise what's done is done

Weeping at disaster Choirs of endless tears Holy is the laughter That overcomes all your fears

Alien Shivers - Vola Everlasting friend Why are you so certain? Why do you defend This contagious burden? Are you still here?

This confrontation killing the perfect one Alien shivers stalling his victory run

Ghost - Ocean Jet Break through the dark And get me out of prison You know I still rely on you

Oh I dug down so deep I’m praying set me free I’m just a ghost in a mirror

Love Like Blood - Sybreed We must dream of promised lands and fields That never fade in season

'Til the fearless come and the act is done A love like blood, a love like blood

Now - Massface Your call is strong and makes me drown I want to hear you breathing My body's slipping to the ground No one can get me here

Pain and delight will rise and You can run but can not hide it Time is overridden When you're here the only time is Now

Bring Honor Back Home - Billy Howerdel They set blaze to the temple of reason Repeat every lie 'til it's true

Cast out these figments and start over All hail sanity and bring honor back home Free yourself from this spell and start over All hail sanity and bring honor back home

i didn't want to simply crib such an inspired pick, so shoutout to @des-no9 for putting "chokehold" out there as an orpheus/voss song. you are correct and your taste is impeccable.

started jan. 2024, fin. aug. 2024

[bijoumikhawal]

Okay I've read the main body of SVSSS. I think it's really good as a meta parody and gives some interesting insight into MXTX's mind- I think some of the criticism of her work is unfair and this book is a pretty good example in parts (the running commentary about misogyny in stallion novels is a lot more unambiguous than her accurately depicting misogyny in others wirks like MDZS, though I don't understand why the latter gets read as an indication of her as a person).

However I don't think it works well as a romance story. There are main two problems; one,that while all of MXTX's main characters are people that have gone through the wringer and lashed out on others because of it, sometimes in really grusome and reprehensible ways, we get to see who they are not just before it goes to shit, but after they've acted in a such a way and either by intentional choice or just the passing of time, behave in a kinder and more upright manner. SVSSS's main story ends right after LBH isn't being an antagonistic force driven to the pits. Additionally, LBH is (understandably) a very misanthropic character which makes the way you'd show him learning how to be a person not driven by grief, fear, and anger different.

The other point is SY/SQQ's internalized homophobia is handled in a way that distracts somewhat from his feelings for LBH, and this combines with a lot of the things taken as romantic by other characters being misinterpretions of his internal world. Some of the latter seems to be him bullshitting himself though- "I'm not crying because I'm facing down my beloved student who I've failed horribly and hates me before I off myself without knowing for sure if my contingency plan will work, the sun's just in my eyes", sure Jan. Given how WWX acts its clear that MXTX now knows how to balance internalized homophobia with the character falling in love even if he doesn't realize it, and TGCF doesn't really have internalized homophobia on the protagonists part as far as I've read, he's just a sworn virgin. (However one could argue HC had some issues when he was human depending on how you read the Land of the tender scene).

SVSSS is short compared to her other works, and while I'm not sure how one would do it, having us spend some time with LBH and SQQ after they've gotten rid of his evil sword and SQQ is helping him work through his misanthropy, desire for control, and abandonment issues would improve their relationship from a story perspective, especially because of how obsessive and unhealthy LBH has spent... 8 years of his life regarding SQQ. There's already a foundation with LBH taking SQQ back to his home peak to be taken care of after his near death experience and leaving alone when he gets chased off, and SQQ choosing to go with him with no pressure on him to do so other than LBH's wellbeing (which is no longer tied to things like the apocalypse). I just think there needs to be a bit more between that and what I'm reading in the extras so far.

And it is needed because of how much LBH's dark behavior was directed at SQQ. WWX's dark behavior wasn't so targeted, LWJ's had an instance of targeting but a large part of the novel has been about him doing his best to respect WWX's boundaries and not repeat his parents relationship. I'm not up to snuff on what happened after XL's first banishment yet so I'll keep quiet on that. LBH is so desperate for this one person's affection that he almost destroys the world to ensure he has no other choice but him (and they have terrible fuck or die sex that no one enjoys about it). Evil sword possession making him decide this was a good idea or no, to work as a satisfying romance story, you need to after of all that. Especially because the evil sword had the ability to push him that far because of how chaotic and wrecked his mental and spiritual state were. They're still wrecked.

[bbsundae]

Logs

(Dr. Mervin’s log, Aug. 7, 2003)

The genetic build was a success around the stone, the most perfect vessel we could manage for this divine payment. The Diamond will be most pleased by our delivery. As he shall be called, he will have the body of an athletic being, built to run faster than the eye can process, and go unseen to the eye if pleased to do so. The gem will produce his life and power, his desired weapon in hand, he is our greatest success yet.

It appears that we have celebrated too soon, or have we? Boss had gotten frustrated again with an uncooperative testing outcome of another subject, slamming down our tubes of the unknown chemicals into the machine, and my entire ink cartridge. =c There’s another being resulting from the completion of the stone’s build, (Should’ve turned off the machine when told to, Sullivan, you dolt.) Separate, different, unusual. It seems we have just created another “life,” with its own life source, which had created its vessel on its own. A few of us suggested having it terminated. Dr. Darkmore refused this motion.

We call it M.0807.

-

(Dr. Hartwick’s log, Aug. 9, 2008)

“Char,” as the Diamond will call him, has progressed significantly in training. He has mastered many small skills and abilities he has been given and is expected to only improve the more he is to engage in such activity.

Boss has long taken an interest not only Char, but M.0807 as well. They both interact closely, when one appears threatened, the other defends. Char plays with it as if it's a friend. Since the success/accident, the two have been inseparable. When separated, M.0807 acts out. The delivery is tomorrow, and Dr. Darkmore looks forward to it. I do not.

(Aug. 16, 2008)

The delivery was today. When it had come time for the Diamond to finally be delivered the stone, M.0807 lashed out, managing to give one of my partners a scuffle as “Char” was removed from the room. He’ll need his leg patched up, to say the least. 

Our pay has been great for this success, and the Diamond was thankful for our efforts. 

My partner’s efforts especially. He ended up losing his leg due to an infection caused by the wounds caused by M.0807. He’ll need a prosthetic if he is to get back to work.

-

(Dr. Elias Darkmore, M.D; Sept. 20, 2008)

M.0807 has been showing more aggressive behavior, it’s becoming more agitated by the sights of us. The boss had made the decision to give them a temporary companion to find a reaction, which had calmed them in time. Still, they show signs of hostility towards us. Silas has had them moved to solitary near room 667. He says the witnessing of tests should teach it to stay in line.

-

(Dr. Coltrane, Jan. 6, 2009)

As of the relocation, M.0807 has withdrawn from any interaction. From what we know, Boss was right, it’s learning to stay in line. “Using the technique of invoking fear always works,” He told us all. Fascinating how even this thing can feel such.

(Jan. 7, 2009)

I fear the Boss has miscalculated. It lashed out at him when he stepped near its cell, and as a result, we were informed to begin testing on its companion. 

We thought it would put them back in line, but there have been more consequences than benefits. We all can hear its shrieking and whispers throughout the lab, even through the walls. Its confinement is covered in claw marks and ink. It’s demonic. No one dares to go in. Dr.’s interest in it only grows every day.

(Feb. 1, 2010)

His curiosity has peaked. He made the announcement to all of us that M.0807 will be the next subject in testing, though he didn’t look concerned when no one volunteered. He will be doing it himself as it seems. 

Testing starts tomorrow. I wish him the best of luck.

[sailoryooons]

SNEAKPEAK OF KNOCK PRETTTY PLEASE WITH COOKIE DOUFH ON TOP

Hi bbbbyyyy of course you can hehheeh gamer Jin coming to a Tumblr near you in Jan!

Sneak peak for Knocked below

Send me a name of an upcoming WIP for a stocking stuffer teaser

Most nights, you can sleep through Seokjin’s yelling at the sudden sound of his knee hitting his gaming desk as he jumps up, a string of expletives laced with other unintelligible expressions of shock, horror, and frustration. Most nights, you can tuck your headphones in, and blissfully fall asleep to the sound of rain, hearing his insanity only once in a while.

Except now you’ve lost your headphones, you don’t have enough money to splurge on a new pair, and Seokjin has been practicing for a tournament for some extremely long stream he has coming up.

So now, you go nights without sleep. Nights where you drift off to dreamland after a long shift at the bar or studying for your dissertation. Nights like this, where you teeter on the edge between awake and asleep, and you’re startled straight out of your bed from a shout.

Heart pounding, you grip the edge of your bed, trying to get your bearings as Seokjin’s shouting echoes through the shared wall. You feel sick with the sudden rush of adrenaline and fear, closing your eyes for a moment as the room spins.

Gritting your teeth and ripping your blankets off of yourself, you march to his room, stumbling as you try to get your bearings from waking up so suddenly. Your stomach does a nasty flip, churning at the unplanned activity as you pound your fist on his door.

“Open up, motherfucker!” You screech, hand slamming on the door without pause. “I swear, Seokjin, sometimes I just want to-“

The door rips open and you nearly knock him right in his chest. His very bare, very broad chest, lit up by the purple RBG lights on his headphones and strip lighting around his room to improve the ambiance of his setup.

“Holy shit, woman! What?”

You blink, momentarily dazed at what you came here for, distracted entirely by the firm curves of his pectorals, skin smooth and gold and was Seokjin always this in shape or is it a figment spurred by the rush of adrenaline?

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, January 31

Ellis: Does this fit the profile of any Sub-T you're familiar with? Riley: Not subterrestrial, Major. Extraterrestrial. (Leads them to the rock at the end of the trench) It came outta that. Ellis: Miller, set the trackers for a protein signature. Graham: Yes sir. Riley: No good, Major. This alkaloid's breaking down at an accelerated rate. It's dissolving too fast to track. Ellis: You got a better idea? Riley: Thing came from space. Gotta be some trace radiation. Ellis: We have Geiger counters in the packs. Riley: Shouldn't be too much background gamma noise out here. Ellis: Break 'em out.

~~Buffy Season 5 Episode #87: "Listening To Fear"~~

The Sunnydale Herald is looking for at least one new editor! Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! Find out more here. If you saw the phrase "HTML template" in our previous calls for editors and that was what made you decide that Herald duties aren't for you, you may be glad to hear that we've set up an alternative posting process!

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

The Secret (Angelus, Spike, Drusilla, T) by angelus2hot

Untitled (Buffy/Spike, M) by disaster-vamp

[Chaptered Fiction]

Les seigneurs et rois du paradis Tunisien, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Violette-Milka

She came back wrong, Chapter 15 (Buffy/Spike, T) by Desicat

Spiderwebs, Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Willow25

A Living Vampire, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Desicat

[Images, Audio & Video]

Animation:Lego Buffy - Pump Me For Information () by tmcarlee

Artwork:Important demon slaying discussion (Scoobies) by wolfstrong

Artwork:Buffy () by woooarya

Artwork:Pinup Spike () by isevery0nehereverystoned

Fanmix: Dawn’s punk playlist () by Dawn’s punk playlist

Clothing:BtVS Vest () by thegothicalice

Video: BUFFY MEETS \"TWIN PEAKS\" () by prior emme

Video: BUFFY - NORMAL AGAIN - \"SLEEPING BEAUTY\" () by prior emme

[Reviews & Recaps]

PODCAST: Halloween by The Rewatcher

[Fandom Discussions]

season three baby bangs by scoobb

so they’re doing an amnesia storyline with Cordy by wikiangela

funny how spike sees himself as a warrior by silvermars

you know a thing i love that smg does as buffy? by silvermars

the spuffy relationship is rlly goddam toxic yet... by searchingweeds

The Mayor’s little video message for Faith is something. by aboonebeckerboone

Some Gunn thoughts by doggirlbuffysummers

did someone already ask you about faith x tara? by faith-thee-slayer

we can go back and forth forever about whether or not spike was capable of genuine selfless goodness and love without his soul by mulderscully

Top 10 Spuffy fics I’ve read (Jan 2023) by mcgnagallsarmy

Fuffy ? by beatriceeverytuesday1

Just finished reading Last Gleaming for the first time by falsestardust

Book Club: Blood & Fog: Week 1 (chapters 1-3) by Taake

Killing off a main character - always the plan? by Synch

Discussion of 6.09 "Smashed" by Multiple Authors

Name A Scene You Think It's Underrated by Holden Norgorov

knights by northeastbalancer

What series makes you cry the most? by Linguistin229

Christian themes in "Grave" by Tuxedo_Mark

What do you think the most dangerous/deadly real-world occupations are in Sunnydale? by menlindorn

Is it even possible for a slayer to became a vampire? by Majiska394

What Buffyverse monster do you think you could actually kill? by Captainoats88

Spuffy alternate S6 and beyond by not_another_mom

How would Tara have reacted... by MynameisntWejdene

If things were normal and Buffy had died… do you think Kennedy would’ve been called as the next slayer? by JeSuisLaCockamouse

Are Xander Harris and Chandler Bing the same character? by Leola_Root_Stew

Why didn’t Angel find a way to remove the aspect of the curse where he can’t experience true happiness by xanderdude47

How did Buffy change you? by Vonda705

S7 E3 “Same Time, Same Place” paralyzed Dawn is hilarious. by R0BBYDARK0

Some thoughts on S4E06: wild at heart by glassflow3rs

there were so many amazing opportunities for Buffy and Angel to crossover by ministroopwafel

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

PUBLICATION: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2: Living with Consequences by Andrew Heard

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

[ailtrahq]

In a week teeming with significant events, the Bitcoin and crypto cryptocurrency sector braces itself for potential market shifts. From legal proceedings to macroeconomic data releases, the coming days promise a medley of determinants that could substantially impact Bitcoin and the broader crypto market. 1. Bitcoin Spot ETF Approval? SEC’s Grayscale Appeal Deadline Looms (Friday) On August 29, 2023, the DC Circuit Court of Appeals unanimously ruled in favor of Grayscale regarding its proposal to convert the Bitcoin Trust (GBTC) into the first exchange-traded Bitcoin fund. The court deemed the SEC’s denial as “arbitrary and capricious” due to inconsistency with futures-based BTC products. Friday, October 13, is the SEC’s last day to appeal this decision. And not appealing could hint at the SEC approving multiple Bitcoin spot ETF applications soon. CNBC reported positive sentiments, with Bitwise CIO Matt Hougan anticipating a spot bitcoin ETF within the year and VanEck CEO Jan van Eck projecting a spot product in early 2024. Hougan stated: “I expect we’ll see a spot bitcoin ETF this calendar year.” VanEck CEO Jan van Eck predicted: “It looks like early in 2024 we will probably see a spot product.” Notably, the SEC has shown a promising sign, a departure from its historical stance on spot ETF approvals. Eric Balchunas, a leading ETF analyst at Bloomberg, highlighted this change in a recent tweet. Balchunas commented: Yes, while the SEC delayed spot bitcoin filings last week, they also sent the issuers comments to address their S-1 filings (related to plumbing, legal). This is a break from the typical pattern of delay, delay, radio silence then denial. A welcome sign IMO although the timeline is unclear. 2. Binance Vs. SEC Clash Continues (Thursday) The standoff between Binance.US and the SEC took an interesting turn in mid-September when Federal Magistrate Judge Zia Faruqui rejected the SEC’s bid to inspect Binance.US’s tech systems, stating the request was overly invasive. The SEC accuses both Binance platforms of operating without proper licenses, allegedly earning a staggering $11.6 billion from U.S. customers since July 2017. With the SEC’s previous attempt to expedite discovery stymied by Binance.US’s alleged non-cooperation, October 12 (Thursday) sees the next crucial hearing in this legal battle. 3. US CPI Data Release (Thursday) Market watchers await September’s CPI report with bated breath, given the present uncertainty around the economy’s direction. Last month’s figures indicated a 3.7% y/y inflation rate. Although September’s numbers are anticipated to reflect a mild 0.3% m/m inflation, the annual figure could inch up to 3.8%. However, core CPI — which omits volatile food and energy prices — could offer more clarity. With a 12-month downward trend, the number is projected to drop to 4.1% y/y this September, potentially reinforcing the notion of waning inflation. 4. FOMC Minutes To Shed Light On Monetary Policy? (Wednesday) The release of September’s FOMC minutes (2:00 pm ET) is eagerly awaited for insights on the Fed’s stance concerning soft-landing scenarios and monetary policy. As Bitcoin and the wider crypto markets anticipate possible moves, recent upticks in yields have garnered the attention of several Fed officials. Last week’s 16-year peak of a 4.88% 10-year yield has had strong significant ramifications on the US dollar. Should the minutes reveal heightened inflation concerns over economic slowdown fears, yields could soar even further. Thus, the macro headwinds for Bitcoin and crypto could intensify. The Fed officials’ perspective on the situation will be interesting for traders. 5. More Macro Data Another standout data point will be September’s US Producer Price Index (PPI) Inflation, set to be unveiled on Wednesday. Back in August, the PPI inflation rate surprised many when it outpaced forecasts to reach 1.6% year-on-year (YoY). The coming month’s figures, according to analysts’ projections, are also expected to clock in at 1.

6% YoY. When observing the data on a month-on-month (MoM) basis, September’s forecast stands at a rise of +0.3%, contrasting with the previous figure of +0.7%. In tandem with the PPI data, Thursday will see the release of the OPEC monthly report. Following the Hamas attack on Israel, the oil price jumped to $89 a barrel. As such, the oil price could be one of the big spoilers for falling inflation. Also on Thursday, the US jobless claims data will be made public. Moreover, there will be twelve events featuring speakers from the Federal Reserve. Given the heightened focus on inflation and monetary policy, remarks from Fed officials will be closely scrutinized for insights and indications about the future direction of economic policy. This convergence of major events makes it an undeniably pivotal week for Bitcoin, the wider crypto market, and the traditional financial world. All eyes are on the aforementioned developments to decipher their potential ripple effects across markets. At press time, BTC traded at $27,790. Bitcoin remains below $28,000, 1-day chart | Source: BTCUSD on TradingView.com

[jyango]

Week 1 - What is Critical Thinking?

Before this class, I thought critical thinking was simply to think with evidence backing up one’s opinion. However, after this class, I have learned that critical thinking is more than that. It’s about taking a step back from the situation, asking relevant questions and analysing, weighing the pros and cons before judgements. 

I found learning this to be really helpful as sometimes I find it hard to voice out my own opinions in fear of judgement from others. I believe that practicing this enhances self-confidence in one's opinions, as clearer thinking improves verbal expression. 

Verbal expression is a skill I want to improve on, I believe this would allow me to better express myself in my designs as well. In our fast-paced world, we often lose sight of the present moment, preoccupied with the past or future. This has caused my thoughts to be messy which is why I appreciated that this class brought up mindfulness. I used to practice mindfulness every night, but being caught up with work and moving to a new country, I haven’t kept up with it. This has greatly affected my work performance. It was a great reminder to resume my mindfulness practice.

I was also reminded of how important it is to question ourselves as artists. Being a perfectionist, this question resonated with me:

Learning how we artists need failures, as failures provide us further growth was extremely comforting. I understood that as long as I try again, it’s not failure, it's a practice.

(250 WORDS)

References:

Critical Thinking: How to Develop Confidence and Self Awareness - Steven West - Google Books

Kuhn, Michael. “The Most Important Soft Skill for Designers: Communication.” Medium, 1 Jan. 2022, uxdesign.cc/the-most-important-soft-skill-for-designers-communication-e69253d82a69.

Brownlee, Dana. “4 Powerful Ways Mindfulness Encourages Peak Performance.” Forbes, 2 Feb. 2020, www.forbes.com/sites/danabrownlee/2020/02/02/4-powerful-ways-mindfulness-encourages-peak-performance/?sh=5744ef0e3f60.

The Art of Failure | National Endowment for the Arts

Image links:

Three Pinterest Users Share Stories on Escapism, Mindfulness and Activism Over Lockdown. 3 Nov. 2023, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/pinterest-art-month-sponsored-content-220421.

Magda. “9 Powerful Mindfulness Exercises to Add Into Your Daily Self-care Routine - Magda Design - Printable Planners and Resources for Graphic Designers.” Magda Design - Printable Planners and Resources for Graphic Designers, 7 Feb. 2021, magdadesignart.com/9-powerful-mindfulness-exercises-to-add-into-your-daily-self-care-routine.

Screenshot from WK1 CTS Google slides

[gauravp01]

#116

Sat, 21 Jan 2022; 7:26 pm

Just woke up from the evening nap, which is not unusual these days.

When I write the blogs, I might use some words which could not convey the actual meaning of the sentence because of my limited vocabulary since I'm not native English speaker. It's the language I use in writing only, or maybe in a few phone calls sometimes... Still I try to communicate in the best possible way...

Two or three days ago I had discussed the POV of others needs to be understood before saying anything in some situation... It was in a similar context and anything that we see is usually biased from our prerequisites...

Let me tell you a story.

Four blind people were once passing through a forest. They encountered a giant elephant there. They went closer to it and tried to know what it was. All of them were standing at different positions with different body parts of the elephant in their hands.

The person with the feet said that it was a tree. It's a snake, says the one holding the trunk. The person holding the tail said, "It is a branch of a tree." The last one had the torso (main body) in his hands. He perceived it as a giant rock.

This is how we perceive things. We are not less than those four blind people. The situations that we encounter daily are the elephant and we all have different body parts of it in our hands. As per our understanding, we evaluate the things and usually go to a conclusion that seems perfectly fine to our understanding and is generally biased. It is normal human psychology that is not limited to some individuals.

A few lines yesterday were about the unexpected behaviour of mine. The sudden changes that occur in my behaviour, especially after the second wave of C*VID.

It was mid of 2021. The second wave was at its peak. It was the time I started facing some problems. I was very unstable for a few months and maybe I have discussed this in some previous blogs. It is 2023 now and still I can't sleep properly. I want to sleep early, but I can't. Too much has improved since then, maybe because of the change in routine as well.

Panic attacks were very common those days. Started sleeping with mmy papa and had even developed a "fear" from sleeping... I was convinced that it's very common, but not for me. Some days it felt like it was the end... End of everything...

I even had to go for the sleeping pills that used to make me unconscious in daytime as well😅😅

I left everything. Already I had left a highly paying job. During the time, I even left the studies and tried to divert my mind from everything... Started watching movies, that I rarely do...

I started disconnecting from the world. Away from all social media. Started hating phone calls and WhatsApp chats. Still I avoid gatherings. Haven't celebrated my birthday for 3 years now. I even changed my numbers to minimise the contact with others.

Friends from MSc had planned multiple trips but I mostly avoided them. I am sorry guys... I lied every time. I didn't have any online class or some important work at my home. These were excuses to avoid trips.

But I believe in one thing. Anything that happens, is for some good reason. The same happened this time as well. Apart from all the negatives, a few things were in my favour. It completely changed my views on life. I realised the value of life we've got. Tried to know the real purpose of life. Went through multiple videos on the same... Dived into a world of spirituality... I still remember myself watching a video titled, "What is Life" by Sandeep Maheshwari during Diwali preparation that year. I started reading Geeta and learnt multiple things from studying about different religions that still continues.

This has, to some extent,made me free from the biased. I see things as they are. But afterall, we all are humans, and can't be free from biased.

It was such a difficult phase of my life, that only a few people are aware.

But as I already said, this too must have happened for some reason. And remember, "Ye waqt bhi beet jaega"... This is true for both good and bad times. So don't think too much about anything. God has planned something very good for you, which you can't even think about. Don't worry about the bad times... THIS SHALL TOO PASS..... And yeah... Be grounded in your good times as well. Because....... THIS SHALL TOO PASS......

It was the story that I usually avoid telling about.

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Now smile, and leave the blog with a positive energy. Believe me, god is there with you....

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Smile......

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Jai Shree Krishna

❤️

[dnorthernlight]

Is your epilepsy holding you back? Do you want to break free? Your time is now! Don’t put it off any longer. Out of fear and lack of confidence in myself, I would stall everything. I would opt out of things because of a diminished self esteem and lack of faith in who I was or could become. Little did I Know, how I thought of myself was a contributing factor to my seizures. This would all change once I made a decision that I was no longer going to remain victim to my circumstance. It's your time to jump in with both feet and get done that one thing that needs to happen. What is it that you really need to do that will get you to where you need to be? What will it take for you to execute that task needed to move the needle? How will you get from where you are now to where you want to be? This is your year! It's time to act and to acheive your goal. You know what to do. You have the ability to figure things out. Get going now! You can do this! I'm cheering you on! P.S. Join me free for a Master Class. I’m giving a free Master Class on Thursday. This Master Class will be live on my Facebook page (Peak Transformation-Transforming the lives of people living with epilepsy). It will be very relatable to everyone. If you live with epilepsy, it will touch you directly. Put it in your calendar. The Master Class will be on Thursday Jan. 12 at 3pm Pacific Standard Time. That’s 3pm PST (6pm EST) on Thursday! See you there! Your Holistic Epilepsy Health Coach, Daniel https://www.instagram.com/p/CNDwXPOjVMS/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[dagwolf]

To the extent that economic anxiety mattered in Trump’s rise, it tended to take the form of what we have called “racialized economics” — or the belief that undeserving minority groups are getting ahead while hardworking white people are being left behind. This attitude more than economic discontent pushed voters toward Trump, too.

But this didn’t stop the media from explaining away Trump’s support with stories about his voters’ apparent economic grievances. As The Washington Post reported, use of the phrase “economic anxiety” in American news coverage peaked in November 2016 — even prominent Democrats such as Sen. Bernie Sanders and Biden put forth economic reasons to explain Trump’s victory. This focus on the ostensible economic underpinnings of Trump’s election was so widespread, in fact, that cable news actually devoted far more coverage to “economic anxiety” during the 2016 presidential campaign than they did during the 2020 election, when there was actually a global downturn in the economy.

The economic anxiety explanation for Trumpism has been persistent, too. So much so that when political scientist Robert Pape began exploring the factors contributing to the Jan. 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol, he expected to find that rioters were driven to violence by the lingering effects of the 2008 recession. “[I]nstead,” The New York Times reported, “he found something very different: Most of the people who took part in the assault came from places … that were awash in fears that the rights of minorities and immigrants were crowding out the rights of white people in American politics and culture.”

[newlyy]

this brings me back to 2016 when trump was elected and the womens march in jan. 2017, which I consider my “peak” wrt trans activism, specifically because trans activists were telling women not to be exclusive in their focus on abortion rights amidst their fear that a trump presidency would threaten them. manifesting that more women are peaking now every time a tim says “actually, abortion happens to people of all genders.”