#i only put it on to get this stupid achievement that i think is impossible unless i find someone who's playing without headphones because-

[renthewerecatboi]

i don't get why people like the dead ringer, i have never felt more vulnerable

[dark-konohagakure2]

Helloooo! This is my first time requesting something like this so im super nervous .. but do you think you could write something along the lines of madara niece getting married of to him and them consummating (getting freaky deaky) the wedding? Its okay if not, i love your work! ^_^

tw: incest, uncle/niece, noncon, forced marriage, age difference, misogyny, breeding, size difference, cumflation

All characters depicted are 18+

Madara doesn't care about romance in the slightest, much less marriage. He can appreciate taking a woman's body as a spoil of war, but other than that he couldn't care less about such tedious distractions such as women. But as little thought as he puts into the matter, the fact remains that Madara will need an heir soon as head of the Uchiha Clan, and there is only one suitable candidate for birthing his sons.

Madara isn't incredibly close with his niece, he doesn't hate her, but he isn't exactly a doting uncle either. Most of his memories of his niece are of her as a small and meek thing, hiding behind her father Izuna's leg and clinging to her mother's skirt, but now that she's grown older, she has become an attractive young woman, the spitting image of her late father, his precious younger brother, so Madara decides to kill two birds with one stone.

Forcing her hand in marriage is almost top easy, the girl's mother has been in disarray since her husband's death, so the woman sees her only daughter getting married as a good thing for the clan. Even if Madara is the girl's uncle, he is without a doubt the most suitable male for her out of every man in the Uchiha clan, or at least that's the point he'll hammer in.

His niece isn't terribly happy when she receives the news that she'll be getting married, what's worse is that she gets this shocking news at the very last minute, as Madara doesn't even think to tell her about their unconventional 'engagement' until the very day right before their so-called wedding, and he definitely won't be sympathetic to her hysterical woman tears.

"Enough or your shrieking, girl. I've already made my decision and it is final. If you can't even do something as simple as rearing a few children for our clan, then you don't deserve to be called an Uchiha."

The wedding isn't exactly a large one, it'd just the two of them, not even the mother is allowed to attend her own daughter's 'wedding', Madara doesn't need two crying women ruining his special day. The wedding kimono suits his adorably homely niece rather well, but Madara thinks it would suit her much better on his bed, so suffice to say that the marriage ceremony will be rather quick.

Once it's finally done, Madara will practically drag her to his chambers, his cock unbearably hard beneath his wedding robe, he never thought he'd ever be so excited about sinking his cock into a wet cunt, but his niece's tight little Uchiha pussy is just too much of a tempting forbidden fruit for him to resist sinking his teeth into. While his main goal is reproduction, Madara will also be after his own pleasure during this act of consummation.

Madara's cock is long and thick, stretching her virgin walls before he then gets it halfway inside, and when he finally rams his thick meat into her, his leaking tip will immediately and mercilessly bash into her cervix like a battering ram, it would be next to impossible for her to get thoroughly knocked up due to how deeply Madara is penetrating her fertile cunt.

Madara doesn't take any half measures, he wants her swollen with his seed, with his offspring, and he's not going to achieve that by just one measly orgasm inside of her, he's going to cum inside of her as much as possible, fucking his superior seed into her until her flat tummy becomes bloated with the sheer amount of cum that Madara has dumped into her, and even then he's not going to stop enjoying his niece-wife for quite some time.

"Stupid girl, don't pass out on me just yet, weakling. It's only been four rounds and you're already whining and leaking? Pathetic. How did I get burdened with such a weak niece..?"

Madara's opinion on sex won't change too much even after having his way with his new 'wife', but now he's able reach a conclusion; he doesn't have any need for other women and their holes now, since his niece is the only set of holes Madara can imagine himself using for the foreseeable future.

[sturn3]

inspired by wednesday's video! matt in his slutty glasses.

nerdy! matt x experienced! reader

warnings: male receiving (oral) ,kissing, making out ,curse words, 18+ !!!!!

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ sitting across from matt at his kitchen table trying to focus on your school work was almost impossible. his unbuttoned shirt with his silver chain peeking underneath teasing you in the worst way possible, his glasses accentuate his blue eyes even more ,making his gaze intimidating. safe to say, you couldn't help but clench your thighs at the sight.

him being so smart and kind to offer to help you with your math homework didn't help. it made you want him even more. his whole good boy persona was really turning you on. unlike anyone else you've been with. lost in your thoughts of what you'd let him do to you or what you'd do to him, you didn't initially hear what he was saying.

"y/n? did you get it? i can explain it again if you'd like." he said, and your heart truly melted at his kindness. only if he knew what you were thinking about instead. you retreated your eyes at him and hummed in agreement.

as he went on to explain further, you got an idea. lifting your foot to reach his leg under the table you began to make your way up to his crotch. suddenly, as he felt you his eyes widened and he completely started butchering up his words. you couldn't help but continue rub against him as you listened to his quiet whimpering. something that spurred you further to continue your actions.

"aw poor baby, you just need some relief yea? ever been touched like this?" ,you truly hope he'd say he'd never been touched like that. feeling some kind of posessiveness over him. wanting to teach him everything you can. "n-no. n-never." he said, a stuttering mess truly. that statement made you smile wickedly, you halted your movements and all you could hear was a whiny matt. aw. poor baby.

you got up and made your way to him, pulling him up by his collar, "your room was this way ,right?" you said as you dragged him along with you. you could feel his burning stare on your body. which made the sleek between your legs grow more. as soon as you reached his room ,you shut the door as he made his way onto his bed. you walked up to him and stood between his spread legs putting your hands gently on his shoulder and smoothing the material of his shirt. "what do you say i teach you something else in return ,huh?". you made him so shy. all he could do was nod. he wanted you to teach him everything. his hands dropping from your waist to your ass ,as you slowly started to straddle him.

all that could be heard in matt's room was your panting and heavy breathing. "tell me whenever you want to stop." you said. funny, he thought. he never wanted to stop with you. he didn't say anything, though. he just closed the gap in between you two and kissed you like he's never kissed anyone before in his life. well, he hasn't, but even if he had, he'd still give you his all as he's doing right now. lips smacking, hair pulling ,lip biting. everything got gradually rougher, as you got more and more desperate for each other. you had been both waiting for it since you started these stupid math tutoring sessions.

you were becoming more and more needy every second. grinding onto him, trying to achieve some kind of relief. you could feel everything in this position. him growing harder and harder as you continued your actions. "y/n ,i can't take it anymore. do something. please" that was music to your ears! a man so whiny and begging to be touched. how could you not comply. you slowly got off of him, and dropped to your knees. his blown out pupils looking hungrily at you, made you want to take him right then and there. so ,that's what you did.

you started slowly stroking him above his pants before fully unzipping his pants. he lifted up his hips to assist you from taking his pants off. then, he was left in his underwear. you smirked as you saw a wet patch on them from his dripping pre-cum. you wasted no time taking those off too. the sight before you almost made you gasp. it was truly the biggest dick you've ever seen. you could actually drool right now. as you were in a trance looking at it, matt brought you back on earth by begging to do something.

so, you took matters into your hands. you started slowly stroking him up and down ,breaking eye contact when he had to throw his head back in pleasure. you watched him fall apart before you. you decided it was time to finally take him in your mouth. so, you leaned in, taking all of it gradually, tears spilling out of your eyes and ruining your mascara. you could already feel him in the back of your throat. you managed to get used to it and started bopping your head up and down, bringing him closer to his high. his moans and few curse words that fell off his lips egged you on to continue your actions.

you pulled every trick you knew to make his first experience the best he could have. "fuck. fuck. fuck. i'm close." he said, which made you suck harder,faster, and twirl your tongue around it. suddenly, you felt his warm seed spilling inside your mouth. you swallowed every bit of it. he looked at you in awe. he had the best head he'll probably ever get in his life. all he wanted to do was to return the favor. but firstly, he pulled you close to him so he could kiss you a bit more. that was his new favorite thing to do. his addiction, if you will. both of you smiling into the kiss. "you're mine, now. you know that, right?" he said and you couldn't be happier as you hummed and replied "and you're mine." you couldn't help but kiss him again and again and again.

"okay, now get on the bed and spread your legs for me baby, yeah?" ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚

first time writing suggestive content ,let me know how i did !!!

[vivmaek]

MARS SIGN OBSERVATIONS

♂ Pisces Mars - I think Lennie Small from “Of Mice and Men,” would have this placement. This is a person who is seemingly harmless, and yet they still managed to cause harm and destruction through indirect action. When looking at someone with a Pisces Mars, their innocence and an assumed lack of strength is noticed first. These are kind people. They would rather harm themselves over another person. Their first instinct isn’t to attack, but to defend. When angry, they appear to be caught up within a panic. A Pisces Mars is driven by their big dreams. They might not always know what they want out of life, and their goals and ambitions may change frequently. This does not mean that they are incapable of finding success. If anything, their unwavering belief in themselves and their ability to achieve the impossible is what takes them to great heights. Hope is everything for someone with this placement, it’s what gets them out of bed in the morning. 

♂ Aquarius Mars - It's hard to pin someone with this placement down. Their actions don’t make sense to other people. Aquarius does a good job showing its eccentricity through Mars. The rules of society and the opinions of others do not dictate their actions. These types are constantly surprising people, and they like this. The public will often speculate about those with an Aquarius Mars. Theories are formed about them, no one can guess what they’re going to do next. In my opinion, this is the most rebellious Aquarius placement. They live their life in a manner that is truly unconventional. People with this placement are not aggressive, but they are clever. They like outsmarting people. A sense of superiority can sometimes act as a driving force. They go out of their way to make the people around them feel stupid if they’re in a foul mood. Their need for independence will never be forsaken. 

♂ Capricorn Mars - Hard work doesn’t scare these people off. They’ll put in whatever energy is needed to complete a project or endeavor. A strong sense of ambition and an excellent sense of focus are traits commonly seen with this placement. They’re quite secure in themselves and exercise self control through all their actions. Discipline motivates them. They take their responsibilities seriously and expect others to do the same. A Capricorn Mars goes above and beyond what is expected of them. They do this through a step-by-step process and practical planning. Cutting corners or taking the easy way out is something you’d never catch them doing. These types want to maintain control over every aspect of their life. They become angry when plans are thrown into a disarray through unexpected events. “Going with the flow,” is not a strong suit of theirs. Their need for security is what motivates them. 

♂ Sagittarius Mars - People with this placement are incredibly restless. They lack patience and need many different outlets to pour their energy into. They are easy going but are also quickly overtaken by passion. Crossing their moral beliefs is a good way to get them riled up. They like to believe that their opinions are more intellectual than they are emotional. When angry they like to get up on a soap box to lecture people. When people don’t agree with them, it can sometimes feel like criticism. They also don’t consider how their tendency to dish out brutal honesty may actually be more hurtful than it is impactful. They often act as a spark that ignites fire, in both a positive and a negative way.

♂ Scorpio Mars - The definition of “moving in silence.” Lots of people claim to do this, but a Scorpio Mars wouldn’t be caught making such a claim. They’re smarter than that. They know that hardship and struggle are inevitable. This does not scare them, but they also don’t fight against the natural currents of life. During certain points, their sense of ambition is so relentless that it becomes obsessive. But, this can only last so long. Rest and recuperation is a process they embrace. After acting on an immense level of concentration for a long period of time, they will need to take a step back to reassess goals. Rather than just accepting things for the way they are, a Scorpio Mars would rather make changes. If they feel that a path is ill-suited for them, they’re not afraid to change directions. Starting from zero is not discouraging and it is something that motivates these types. They have the power to turn nothing into something great. 

♂ Libra Mars - Mars is uncomfortable being in Libra. People with this placement often struggle with taking action and are as indecisive as they come. They get caught up in what's fair and what isn’t. They have a strong need to strike equality and want every situation to be as balanced as possible. Some might be surprised to know that the ultimate desire for these types is to garner a sense of peace. They might unintentionally stir the pot through their inability to take a strong stance on something. They want to weigh all the options possible and can become stressed trying to do so. Being passive-aggressive is also something that's frequently seen with this placement. These types think they’re being nice when in reality they’re making people uncomfortable through their fear of being direct. They’re sneaky when faced with conflict but also good at leading people into a resolution. 

[aebinspa]

there's a great big beautiful tomorrow!

PAIRING: ningning x y/n reader

GENRES: fluff, dancer!ningning, salesgirl!reader, reader is shy and insecure, ningning loves physical touch, hao (zb1) appears for a little while but he is still iconic!

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: english is not my first language! so i’m practicing my writing hoping it can get better and better (tired)

The life you had lived up to now had been revealed as what was in the eyes of all: a deadly boredom. If you could color it to make it take life you would have accepted it without thinking. Yet everything you had done was boring, uncluttered, and calculated, so much so that watching others achieve goals that were not your own with a smile made you happier than anything else. You missed the spark, or perhaps it was the longing for life that made you miss it entirely?

In front of the shop where you worked as a clerk and put some lip balm on your lips while trying to hold keys, the university book, and the clutch in your hands, you were about to lock the door with a frown. "Why won't you close?" You needed another kick worthy of the name to close the huge iron front door of the biggest clothing store in the city center where you lived. After skillfully putting your hair up into a ponytail with a swift movement of your fingers, you proceeded to walk in your customary manner. However, your usual path was interrupted by a door adorned with a radiant sign that had previously escaped your notice.

Curiosity was too much and you decided to stop and read the poster hanging on the right of the small door adorned with a very stupid sign with "Enter!". The poster, likely created by a graphic designer with no formal training, featured a photo of a beautiful girl with black hair in a short dress and a boy in a tuxedo at the center; below it was written in big letters "Join us!" and high, almost wanting to hide in embarrassment, an inscription appeared that seemed to whisper timidly "Dance is life. Discover your passion". "What a stupid thing" was the only thing that came into your mind. For someone like you who had never found anything exciting in life, encountering such enthusiastic people made you feel nauseous. As you made your way back home, the captivating image of the beautiful female dancer lingered in your mind, refusing to fade.

The following day, deliberately ignoring the sign that grabbed your attention from a block away, you confidently approached to analyze the poster featuring the two dancers carefully. You were totally into figuring out if those two young, good-looking athletes were a couple or just buddies, and you didn't even realize that someone behind you was watching you with an amused look.

"Well, I look good in this picture, don’t I?" The blow that took you stole ten years of your life. The girl who you had been watching for two days in that poorly studied mess of graphic design had just appeared before you. You couldn’t answer; you were so surprised. Hi, I’m Ningning. It seems like you can't help but admire how beautiful my Hao and I look in this picture! "You’re not bad…" which, coming from an insecure person like yourself, sounded more like a joke. The loud laughter that rang in the driveway made you comfortable, until Ningning - as friends called her - decided to take your hand and force you to come in the place downstairs.

"I don’t- I have no idea how you can dance on those things that you wear to your feet!" "Don’t worry. Find your number and I’ll help you." After Ningning had pulled you down the stairs, you finally got to see that underneath all the LED lights was a small but cozy ballroom. Hao and I come here to practice when there are no lessons. The teachers care so much about us that they even put us on the course poster! Another laugh came out of the young woman’s mouth. Her enchanting presence was impossible to ignore. The way her long, flowing black hair framed her round face and delicate features captivated everyone who caught a glimpse of her. Not only was she beautiful, but she also possessed long, toned legs that added to her allure.

"Those things in your legs could kill me all at once." "Are you admitting that you imagined my legs around your neck?" "Nobody mentioned the neck." The embarrassment forced you to turn your eyes to the ground and concentrate on choosing the right size of heels.

"You didn’t tell me your name" Ningning turned to you and chained her eyes to yours. "Y/N. Friends use this. I have no nicknames of any kind. Quite boring, I know" The increasing unease of being alone in a room with the woman you had secretly observed in photos was becoming more palpable. You began to fiddle with your hands. It was Ningning who stopped you, taking both of your hands in her.

"So what about the Grinch?" "What do you mean?" "You’re always sulking and pretty." "The Grinch is not cute." Ningning who until now had her hands in your hands decided to leave them abruptly. "Oh yes, it is Y/N. I don’t want to fight, but if that’s what you think then turn around and don’t look at me anymore." It seemed absurd to you to have to discuss in a ballroom how ugly (or beautiful, depending on the point of view) the Grinch was; you unconsciously laughed. Ningning seemed to look at you with different eyes for a few seconds before gently touching your hands. "Then you can smile!"

You and Ningning spent the next few hours trying to master the first steps of the slow waltz but without any success. It was dark outside, and after a couple of hours, you were alarmed to see that it was almost eleven thirty in the evening. But you didn’t want to leave that place. You didn’t want to leave Ningning, not even those high heels that made your feet swell.

A thought began to haunt you: for the first time you wanted to do something but couldn’t; your work would not be enough to cover the expenses of the house, your interests, and dance lessons. And then Ningning… not only was she beautiful, but before you, she didn’t give up after you couldn’t say the first words to her.

Ningning noticed your lost expression and approached you. She sat down nearby and, based on the few hours you had spent together, it was clear that Ningning couldn't stand silence. Without many compliments or flowery words, she immediately broke the silence. "I don-” For the first time, Ningning seemed reluctant and this prompted you to show yourself for once in front of his eyes as a woman capable of taking matters into her own hands. "Tell me" As you gazed into Ningning's eyes, you noticed a subtle shift as her gaze briefly flickered down to your lips before she began to speak. However, her words were abruptly cut off by the sound of a door swinging open with ease.

"I'm back and I can't take it anymore! Ningning, today we won't train. Try the steps of the waltz alone. I hate this life. Why did I give it to dance?" You and Ningning simultaneously turned to the man who had just descended the stairs.

"Hao," Ningning exclaimed, trying to convey the message, "We have guests, calm down." Confused, Hao asked, "Who is this?" Just as you were about to respond, you were cut off and shouted, "Y/N. I was just leaving!" You quickly removed your high heels and placed them gently in the designated space. "I’m going and… Thank you for everything."

As you walked slowly along the main street of the city, you didn't feel like running, so you took your time. The bright lights of the city made your eyes burn, or maybe it was the bitter tears that were streaming down your face. "Why do I have to be such a coward?" you thought to yourself. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and the tears were falling without stopping. You tightly clutched the keys in your right hand, feeling their jagged edges pressing into your palm.

"Y/N, my God, wait! Walk a little slower!" Ningning collapsed to the ground, exhausted. Maybe it was a hallucination or maybe the stupidity had given you to the head but Ningning was running towards you and nothing could have shown you anything else.

You started running towards her. Only when you could reach her, you took her hand to help her get up. "And you," you mumbled, "would be… an athlete?" "A ballroom dancer, precisely"

Taking a deep breath, Ningning looked directly into your eyes and smiled before speaking to break the silence, just as you had expected. "Let’s just say I didn’t dare to say it before so I’m telling you now." "I have something to tell you too" you replied without showing off. "Alright, let's say it together on the count of three!" Ningning replied with lots of enthusiasm. "What a stupid idea" You laugh.

Ningning counted to three, very slowly, never taking her eyes off you. Her eyes seemed to shine even more under the brightly lit room. You saw her smile before yelling "Three!" and saying what she wanted to tell you.

"I want to see you again," she said. "Ningning, let's meet again." The silence that followed made you both laugh. "So we were thinking the same thing? How stupid," she said with that cheeky smile that didn’t seem to leave her face.

"Then I won't feel sorry for you." "Wait, what?" "I'm telling you that starting tomorrow, I'm going to try to make you fall in love with me." The slight blush on your cheeks gave Ningning hope. The kiss she planted on your cheek right after made you turn as red as a tomato.

As you said goodbye to Ningning and made preparations to alter your routine and return home, the words "So tomorrow, princess, get ready!" echoed in your mind. For the first time, you found yourself contemplating the notion that living might not be as unbearable as you had previously believed.

[lightlycareless]

I keep thinking of naoya making a fool of himself around y/n and y/n just being confused (idk) like he tries to get her to like him but it doesn’t turn out well😭 , idk if that made sense sorry!!😔

Hello!!

Awww this was really sweet to think about, however I got confused in the end and made it somewhat of a happy ending lmao.

Well, I still hope you like it!! (If anyone wants angst tho, I do recommend reading my valentine's day special. But I too been wanting to write something heart clenching for a while, might get onto it....)

warnings: highschool au. naoya likes you but he doesn't know how to approach you. he is ridiculous.

Happy reading!!

A silly Naoya is more like an overconfident Naoya, the type of guy that will never stop bragging about ANYTHING just to make you look his way.

It's certainly worse when he's barely starting to acknowledge his feelings, getting to that point where he finally says "I think I like her."

To stand out and get your attention is something Naoya never thought he'd need to do, simply believing that his title as heir of the Zen'in and his outstanding achievements as sorcerer would've done the trick—but they didn't, and now, he had to put in the work.

Thus, the borderline ridiculous demonstrations of his persona, courtesy of Ranta's advice; though if it’s worth anything, this is not what he envisioned.

"Can you believe he didn't want to accept my assignment only because I didn't hand it over in a folder? That's so stupid, can't wait to get him fired as soon as I—"

"Wait, Naoya, Y/N's coming!"

"ANYWAYS I WENT TO THE MALL THE OTHER DAY TO THIS LUXURIOUS STORE AND BOUGHT JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING THERE AND STILL HAD MONEY TO SPARE, GEE WHY IS EVERYTHING SO CHEAP NOWADAYS??? AND PEOPLE STILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THE ECONOMY!! I JUST WISH I HAD SOMEONE TO SHARE ALL MY MONEY WITH—did she look??? Did she turn around to see me??"

Ranta sighs.

"No."

"Ughghhhhhhh what do I need to do to make her see me?!"

Though frustrated, he does not give up.

"—yeah, I think we're going to this super expensive resort for the weekend. I personally preferred to travel out of the country, but you know how my father is, lazy as always. If it were up to that old man we’d never leave the—and now??? Did that work?? Is she looking??"

But the results are the same.

Naoya would keep on trying, loudly proclaiming things that in his mind would eventually earn him your interest, or at least a simple glance….

Until he, eventually of course, tires himself out. Sorrowfully finding that his endeavors had been nothing but fruitless as you continue living your own life, without Naoya in your consideration.

You’re slowly becoming someone unreachable to his grasp, and while he doesn’t plan on giving up just yet, he does intend to take a break, maybe reconsider his possibilities… before coming to a conclusion where you might not be involved anymore.

And what better way to clear his mind than indulging in one of his favorite activities—secluding himself at the rooftop of the school building to read the newest release of his favorite manga.

Unaware that someone else might be there, coincidentally… the person he wished nothing more than to be with.

"What are you reading?" You'd ask upon noticing the intense stare of the young, somewhat handsome man, he’s giving his magazine.

"Do you mind? I'm bus—o-oh!" He freezes upon realizing it was the girl of his dreams talking to him, cheeks burning red as he closes the manga and looks away. “Don’t—Don't you know it's rude to sneak up on someone like that?!"

"Ah, sorry!" You chuckle, slightly embarrassed. "I didn't mean to startle you, it's just that you looked so concentrated, I couldn’t help but to be intrigued! Is your story really interesting?"

"...it is" Naoya murmurs, gaze returning to you—he almost glances away yet again at your closeness, but your beauty makes it almost impossible to do so. "It's the latest chapter, I waited a whole month to read it."

“A whole month…?” you repeat. “Wow.”

“Yeah, it was a long time—"

“Hmmm, not quite.” You teased. “I’ve waited years just to see the continuation of my favorite series! Talk about dedication.”

“Huh, well, I don’t think it’s the same—this felt worse because of how good it is.”

“Really? I don’t know, I can’t believe you—I have to see what you’re reading for that. You grin, he smirks.

“Is that so? Then don’t let me stop you from finding the truth.”

And Naoya happily obliges, both excited to share one of the things he enjoys the most with the person he adores most, as well as the fact that you’re finally setting your eyes on him! After all this time!

He considered it to be incredibly unexpected, and perhaps a bit silly how it came to be, unable to believe that it took so little to impress you.

But as soppy as it sounds, there is truth in admitting that there is no better way to get someone to like you, than by being yourself.

omg that was so fluffy agkjasjghasjkghjsa cheesy too ahahahahah damn I surprised myself for sure!!

Rest assured, you heard Naoya do all of those things and consistently thought "Is he ok? Why is he yelling?"

After the two begin to date you'll tell him how weird it was of him to do all that hahahah though... "You didn't have to do that, I already liked you." Naoya feels even sillier :^)

Anyways, I hope you liked it!! I'm sorry this didn't end up in a sad note, I read the request very quickly and ended up understanding you only wanted an interpretation of Naoya being silly—though I do want to write something sad between the two, him messing up and all that. Luckily, I have the perfect excuse for that through other asks hehehehehe

Thank you so much for sending in this ask and for your patience!! Take care, and hope to see you soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[aruanimess]

Χαῖρε, Myrtle! (I hope it's the right form of a greeting in Ancient Greek.) Nice to see you out there. Just noticed a great AruAni blog (with a pinch of genuine feeling towards ASOIAF), and here you are with your new subscriber. Wanna ask you: what brought you into AruAni - is it about their cuteness, their near perfect compatibility, their development, or is it about something I failed to notice?.. Ofc, there are some more great pairings out there, but you seem to really cherish the blondies, so my first (and stupid) question to you regards them. Moreover (I hope you'd forgive me for it), I have a question for you as to a writer from a writer. What drives you to write - muses or discipline? Both ways have their ups and downs, yet I think it's near impossible to make an actually great combo of both. I wish you everything best, and good (timezone), Myrtle! You're great.

Hello Clover! (I hope it’s okay to call you this) 

Yes, I do believe it’s the right form, at least as far as I remember from high school, hehehe 

I’m glad to see you here! I recall seeing you in Cigarette Duet’s comment section, and well a fellow @darcycrow admirer is always welcome in my book! 

I am indeed a huge ASOIAF fan. I’m currently in the middle of a reread of the main series actually! These books hold a special place in my heart for many reasons.

Now onto your questions.

The reasons you listed are definitely a big part of what drew me to these silly blonds, but what really cemented them as THE AoT ship for me is the way they both embody the themes of the story. Through these two we get a larger picture of what the story is trying to say. Both to their core are sensitive people thrown in situations where they have to disregard this part of themselves, and they both deal with it differently. Annie, who was raised in a less forgiving society, embraces compliance and indifference, while Armin, who had a sliver of leeway by virtue of living in the outskirts of a largely feudal society, takes the path to idealism and quiet (and not so quiet) resistance. 

Here’s the thing though: both aspire to what the other is doing. Aside from their sensitivity and intuition they both carry a strong sense of practicality. They’re smart cookies with great observational skills, so they *know* that neither approach quite cuts it. Idealism takes a blow when confronted with the horrors of the world, and surprisingly so does indifference. There’s only so much a person who cares can turn a blind eye to, and the more you do it the more it hurts you. So Annie looks up to Armin’s resistance and idealism, while Armin looks up to Annie’s ruthlessness and decisiveness. 

The answer lies in the balance of it all, which is not necessarily the middle point between these two ideologies, but a new third option that combines the two. A synthesis, as a commenter of mine put it. You can’t lead a life based on indifference as it is largely unproductive, but you have to armor yourself as well. Naïveté will get you eaten by wolves, but principles guide us to a better future. 

Honestly, I love these two, and I can talk about possible interpretations of what they represent for hours on end, so let’s move on to your second question. 

I think of writing approaches as a spectrum with pure inspiration on one end and pure discipline on the other. As writers we fall somewhere in this binary, usually closer to one pole or the other. I’m mostly a muse-driven author, although I’ve been trying to work on my discipline for the past couple of years. 

At this point in my life, writing is very much my hobby, so I find it’s fruitless to drain all the fun out of it and treat it like a chore that needs to be done no matter what. However it is also a craft that I want to hone as much as possible, so I try to engage it in a manner that challenges me constantly. As you said, I’m not sure if a perfect combo can be achieved, but at the same time I think we can learn from each other and improve our skills. 

So yeah, that’s all I have! Have a great [timezone]!

[jingyuanswallet]

satosugu breakup

Satoru: “huh?”

Yaga: “Don’t make me repeat myself..Suguru killed everyone in the village, and..”

Satoru: “I heard you the first time. That’s why I said huh to what you said.”

Yaga: “Suguru’s old home was already an empty husk as well..though, from the blood stains and residuals he most likely killed his parents.”

Satoru: “Like hell he did!”

Yaga: “Satoru..calm down, i don’t understand what's going on either.”

To Shoko and Suguru.

Shoko was looking for a lighter for her cigarette.

Suguru: “Hey, need a light?”

Suguru: “Hi.”

Shoko: “If it isn’t the criminal. Trolling girls who smoke?”

Suguru: “Just testing my luck i guess..”

Shoko: “Mhmm, well I'll go ahead and ask. Any chance the charges are fake?”

Suguru: “Nope, unfortunately not.”

Shoko: “Then I’ll ask another question. Why?”

Suguru: “To create a world of only jujutsu sorcerers”

Shoko laughed.

Shoko: “Don’t joke around, please.”

Suguru: “I’m actually not joking, i’m not holding out hope everyone will understand what i’m trying to do.”

Shoko pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Satoru.

Shoko: “You’re sulking over the idea that no one will understand you? That sounds pretty childish to me.”

Satoru had answered.

Shoko: “Hey, Gojo? I found Geto.”

Satoru had said something, She agreed.

Shoko: “Yeah. Shinjuku.”

Once more Satoru had said something to her.

Shoko: “No way, I don't wanna get killed.”

Now Satoru has found Suguru, confronting him.

Satoru: “Suguru. Explain yourself.”

Suguru had stopped walking and replied to what Satoru had asked.

Suguru: “You already heard it from Shoko, that’s all there is to it, Satoru.”

Satoru: “So you’re just going to kill every non sorcerer, and your parents?!”

Suguru: “I can’t allow my parents to be a special exception. Besides, I don't consider those people my family anymore.

Satoru: “That’s not what I was asking you. I thought we weren’t allowed to kill if there was no point to it!”

Suguru: “There is a point and a cause, and significance too.”

Satoru: “No there’s not! You’re really going to kill all non jujutsu sorcerers now?! You know that's impossible! There’s no point in chipping away at something you can’t possibly achieve!”

Suguru: “You’re so arrogant.”

Satoru: “Huh?!”

Suguru: “You can do it yourself Satoru, couldn’t you? Yet you would try to convince someone else that it’s impossible to do something, which is possible for you.”

Suguru fully turned around and faced Satoru.

Suguru: “Do you think you’re the strongest because you’re Satoru Gojo, or are you Satoru Gojo because you’re the strongest?”

Satoru: “Just what are you trying to say?”

Suguru: “If i were able to become you for a moment, this foolish idea would become a lot more grounded and real, don’t you think? I’ve made my decision, now It's just the matter of doing the best I can to achieve it.

Satoru had put his hand up for an attack, only to realize he would never be able to kill his best friend.

Suguru: “If you want to kill me then kill me, there would be a point to that.”

Forward to Yaga and Satoru.

Yaga: “Why didn’t you pursue him?”

Satoru: “Are you actually asking me that?”

Yaga: “No, it’s fine. It was a stupid question.”

Satoru: “Yaga, you think that I'm strong?”

Yaga: “Yeah, brazenly so.”

Satoru: “Yeah, but. Apparently being strong isn’t enough. The only ones that I can save are those already waiting to be saved by someone.”

Fast forward all the way to the time Satoru had said his final words to Suguru before killing him.

Suguru: “You’re late again as usual. Satoru to think you’d be the one here at my end, are you going to make sure my family is safe?”

Satoru: “Every last one of them managed to escape to safety. The ones in Kyoto, they were under your command?”

Suguru: “Yes, they all were. I’m a kind person, unlike you Satoru. You sent those two assuming that i’d defeat them didn’t you? To set Okkotsu off.”

Satoru: “I trusted you’d be yourself, trusted that a man as principled as you wouldn’t kill off young sorcerers without a reason.”

Suguru: “Tch, you wanna talk about trust?”

Flash backs had started coming back to them.

Suguru: “I didn’t think i had any of that left in me, after everything i’ve been through. Return this for me will you?”

Suguru had thrown Yuta’s student ID to Satoru.

Satoru: “Was the elementary school your doing too?”

Suguru: “It was.”

Satoru: “I can’t believe you.”

He paused for a few seconds

Satoru: “Tell me. Do you have any last words?”

Suguru: “No matter what anyone tells you. I hate those monkeys, but I never held any hatred for those in jujutsu highschool. I just couldn’t hold a heartfelt smile while living in this world.”

Satoru: “Suguru..”

Satoru had walked over to Suguru and sat down, looking at him. He muttered something, which couldn’t be heard by the audience.

Suguru: “The least you could do is hit me with some curses.”

Fast forward to when Satoru gave Yuta his student ID back.

Satoru: “It’s a bit late to tell you, but you weren’t at fault for the incident with Geto. He would’ve attacked Jujutsu Highschool whether you were here or not.”

Yuta: “You think so?”

Satoru had grabbed the ID out of his pocket and handed it towards Yuta

Satoru: “I believe this is yours.”

Yuta: “Oh, my student ID, thanks for finding it for me Gojo!”

Satoru: “No, it wasn’t me. My best friend found it, my only friend really.”

[vivithefolle]

What are your thoughts on the bad future in Cursed Child where Hermione basically becomes Snape as a teacher just because she didn't get with Ron?

Oh, I'd written a Quora answer about that! Let me get it-

In the alternated universe in Cursed Child, Hermione became a Snape-like professor because she lost Ron. Is it just bad writing because she'd never be like that? Why?

Au contraire, I think it’s the only bit of characterization in this garbage play that makes sense.

And I’m not saying that because I love Ron, I’m saying that because I know Hermione rather well - I’ve been a very Hermioneish person in my life.

I’ve been that girl who wanted to answer every question I knew the answer to, because I liked to show off what I knew, I liked it when the teacher validated me, I liked to be seen as clever by the adults. The adults were the most important people, after all they were the ones who handed out the punishments. Therefore it was important that I endear myself to the adults considering that they were the only people who could protect me from the other kids’ bullying.

I was bullied. A lot. As a result, I hated my schoolmates. I despised them with all my being. I only trusted the adults and a select few fellow kids who didn’t bully me. My philosophy? “The adults are always right. I’m always right, unless the adults say otherwise. My friends are always right, unless the adults or I say otherwise. Everyone else is stupid and useless.”

Notice a pattern?

It’s quite easy really. The more I was bullied, the tighter I shut myself out. Every new act of bullying was only vindicating me. The world is made of idiots, idiots and more idiots. There’s nothing out there but idiots, and they prey on the smart people like me.

When Hermione made friends with Harry and Ron, thankfully, they stopped her from leaping into misanthropy entirely. They grounded her, gave her something to look forward to other than school. They made her realize that people who don’t care for school aren’t necessarily complete dumbasses who’ll never achieve anything with their lives. They brought some humanity to her. Some much-needed emotion and empathy.

They got her away from her feeling of superiority and made her accept that she wasn’t perfect, something that is incredibly important considering that being perfect is impossible.

[…] Harry headed straight back to the Gryffindor common room, where he found Ron and Hermione playing chess. Chess was the only thing Hermione ever lost at, something Harry and Ron thought was very good for her.

(Lookit those two Dads parenting their perfectionnist daughter. Iconic.)

Okay, so, we know how Hermione reacted when Ron dated Lavender Brown, right?

No, I’m not talking about the birds, I’m talking about after that. After she threw her hissy fit, she went on to bully Ron for months on end.

“Hi, Parvati!” said Hermione, ignoring Ron and Lavender completely. “Are you going to Slughorn’s party tonight?” “No invite,” said Parvati gloomily. “I’d love to go, though, it sounds like it’s going to be really good… You’re going, aren’t you?” “Yes, I’m meeting Cormac at eight, and we’re -” There was a noise like a plunger being withdrawn from a blocked sink and Ron surfaced. Hermione acted as though she had not seen or heard anything. “- we’re going up to the party together.” “Cormac?” said Parvati. “Cormac McLaggen, you mean?” “That’s right,” said Hermione sweetly. “The one who almost” - she put a great deal of emphasis on the word - “became Gryffindor Keeper.” “Are you going out with him, then?” asked Parvati, wide-eyed. “Oh - yes - didn’t you know?” said Hermione, with a most un-Hermione-ish giggle. “No!” said Parvati, looking positively agog at this piece of gossip. “Wow, you like your Quidditch players, don’t you? First Krum, then McLaggen…” “I like really good Quidditch players,” Hermione corrected her, still smiling. “Well, see you… Got to go and get ready for the party…”

And

“How did you do?” asked Ron, hurrying toward Harry. “I think I felt something the last time I tried - a kind of tingling in my feet.” “I expect your trainers are too small, Won-Won,” said a voice behind them, and Hermione stalked past, smirking.

You know how many pages there are between these two happenings? Seventy. 70!! In-universe, it goes from December to freaking March!

And by being away from Ron, Hermione also reduces the time she spends with Harry. Because Harry won’t seek Hermione out, it’s always Hermione who will come see him - and only if she has something to tell him.

So, without Ron, Hermione would consequentially drift away from Harry. Without Ron to bicker with, without Ron to act as a buffer between her controlling tendencies and Harry’s rebellious nature, Hermione would close herself off and ignore other people.

Now, as for why she’s a She-Snape when it comes to students?

Well duh! Have you seen Hermione?

Ron, at the next table, wasn’t having much more luck. “Wingardium Leviosa!” he shouted, waving his long arms like a windmill. “You’re saying it wrong.” Harry heard Hermione snap. “It’s Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa, make the ‘gar’ nice and long.”

She loudly points out Ron’s failure, getting everyone’s attention and making him feel humiliated, because she was so sure she knew better than him. That she happens to perform better than him right afterwards just makes Ron feel even worse.

She wasn’t nice, she wasn’t friendly, she wasn’t helpful. She shot him down by snapping at him and only then did she try to help him, but she was already “the aggressor” in Ron’s mind. Of course he wasn’t going to react nicely to anything she’d have to say afterwards!

“All right – I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors,” said Hermione in a sniffly voice. “And you’ve got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?”

Note that here, this is Harry’s narration. Harry thinks of Hermione’s voice as “sniffly”. It’s about on par with Draco’s “sneering” in terms of positive first impressions.

And look at that! “people outside are behaving very childishly”, that’s an 11 years old speaking! She’s just as much of a kid as her peers yet she already has an overinflated sense of her own maturity. *sighs* Believe me, I know from experience that this can only end in tears.

And it’s what would make her miserable should she become a teacher.

Without Harry and Ron with her to remind her that she’s human and faillible, Hermione would ignore other people’s needs as well as her own.

We already see that she can be somewhat gentle to people like Neville, maybe because Neville is kind of the equivalent of a “special needs” kid in the Wizarding World, but with other students like Harry and Ron, whom she assumes are just dumb or not trying hard enough? She’s harsh. Snappish. She can’t understand how they don’t understand stuff that to her is so easy!

Now take Harry and Ron and multiply them by 10. And put Hermione in charge of them all.

She’s gonna go insane in a couple weeks.

A few years and she’ll have lost any sort of enjoyment she may have gotten from passing on her knowledge.

Hermione is not a good pedagogue, like the books show us multiple times - she has an easy time learning because she can memorize her books, but not all students are like this. When someone doesn’t understand what she understands, she makes a snippy remark, act as though they should know and make them feel dumb and in the process snuff out their interest for what she had to say.

Hermione Granger would be a complete nightmare of a teacher, because she has no patience and has a very “if I can do it, so can you” mentality, and she also tends to assume the worst in others. She’s not suited to a role that requires her to interact with people on a daily basis (also why she would make a terrible Minister for Magic).

[keurimi]

[ 22:22pm ] – the world is out to get you

you kinda hate your mom right now for making you feel like the world is out to get you.

you sat on one of the swings in your neighborhood’s playground, trying to catch your breath. the tears that were once threatening to fall from your eyes were now dried up due to you running at a speed almost impossible for your own body to achieve.

you put your hand to your chest, gasping for air. you only had one person in your mind who can help you – park jisung, your best friend since god knows when.

you desperately tried to dial his number on your phone. he picked up immediately – of course he does – and as if it were magic, a sense of relief washed over you as you heard his voice.

it took him only minutes to find you in the playground.

“mom’s gonna kill me, y/n. literally kill me.” he huffed, putting his hands on his hips as he, who also sprinted to you, caught his breath.

“you didn’t have to come.”

jisung rolled his and sat on the swing next to you, the chains on the swing set startling you a bit. “it’s you, y/n. you know i’ll be here.” he replied, as if coming to your aid was the easiest and most obvious thing he could do.

he gave you a smile that makes his eyes turn into crescent moons, one of your most favorite expressions from him, if you had to be honest.

“mind telling me what’s wrong?”

you sighed, looking down on your feet. “mom and i got into a fight because of my college degree choices.”

he hummed. “she didn’t like your options?”

you shook your head. “she wanted me to take up engineering or something, like dad.”

“and what did you put?”

“journalism.” you pursed your lips. “she said there’s no money in that career.”

jisung shrugged. “i mean, she’s not wrong.” you glared at him and scoffed. “no seriously! you’d be filthy rich if you were an engineer. i mean, your dad’s already one, he can set you up with his peers or something and get you a job-“

“like a nepo baby?” you narrowed your eyes.

“exactly!“ he beamed. “like a nepo baby! god, how i wish i was a nepo baby, too. stupid family couldn’t break into the dance industry, now i have to make a name for myself.”

you can’t help but chuckle at jisung’s words. he has always had this weird way of making you forget your problems instead of actually giving you advice. to be fair, it’s not like jisung knows how the world works or what to do in complicated situations. after all, he’s just the same age as you, experiences the same things as you. he’s not the wise old man that can give you solutions. but his presence does give you comfort.

you were startled when you felt his thumb brush your cheek, wiping a tear you didn’t realize was falling.

“just do what you want, y/n.”

you sniffled. “they’re paying for my tuition, jisung.”

“then screw them. let’s just get a scholarship or something!”

you rolled your eyes and lightly slapped his arm. “it’s not that easy!”

“then . .” he paused to think. “we’ll convince your parents and we’ll talk to them together.” he grabbed your hand and gripped it tightly. “i’m sure they’ll listen, y/n. they can’t be that stubborn forever.”

you felt tears well up in your eyes again, and you just nodded. “thanks.”

jisung grinned. “anytime.” he intertwined his fingers with yours. you let out a sigh of relief. if the world was indeed out to get you, at least jisung’s there to run away with you.

a/n: not my proudest but i just needed to get bff!jisung out my chest

[starkstruck27]

I graduated tonight, so here's a tidbit for you in celebration!! 🎓💚

It's Billy's graduation day, and he can feel daggers being stared into him from all sides. He was named Valedictorian (he has no clue how he achieved that), so Nancy Wheeler is glaring from across the stage in the chair reserved for the Saluditorian. His dad was off somewhere in the stands glaring at him, and he was actually surprised he came to see him walk the stage at all. All the kids he beat up or messed with, even if he apologized, were glaring, pissed off that they had to follow his every move to know when to stand and sit on his command. All in all, it seemed like everyone there hated him.

But there was two people that were there rooting for him, even if no one else was. He could still see them, smiling and shouting his name and waving around these embarrassing homemade signs they made to make sure he'd see them. Max was wearing a homemade shirt with a picture of his face printed on it, and it was the least flattering picture ever, from his freshman year where he was mid-sneeze when the flash went off, but he couldn't help but smile when he saw it. Steve was standing next to her and screaming loudly, unashamed of anyone watching him. He had a shirt that said "I ❤ BH", like those stupid tourist t-shirts from New York, only with his initials instead. He was waving around a giant shark plushie that had a little graduation cap sewn on it, the stitching job no doubt having been done by either Joyce Byers or Claudia Henderson.

He didn't know it yet, but both ladies were also in the audience, along with Will, El, Hopper, Dustin, and Lucas, all there to cheer on Billy and Jonathan as they both walked the stage. Mike was sitting somewhere else with his parents and little sister to cheer on Nancy, but his mother eventually let him go off with his friends once Nancy finished giving her speech.

She was the first one to do it, getting the honor of speaking first, followed by the class president and the class historian. Billy was the last one to give his speech, and as the historian sat down, his heart began to race a little as he walked up to the podium. He had his speech written on a few note cards, but he'd been sleep deprived from finals and entirely too nervous when he wrote them, so they were near incomprehensible. So he didn't even bother to get them out, deciding instead to just wing it. He'd bullshitted his way through it anyway. And nothing could be worse than the class president's speech, which the poor kid had stuttered through and barely spoke into the mic at all, so he was impossible to hear. At least Billy would be able to be heard if his speech was awful.

"Friends, family, teachers, staff and guests," he started, trying to keep his tassel out of his face, "You're probably all thinking that I'm feeling so honored to be standing here as the vedictorian of the class of 1986. I know that you probably think that this is the highlight of my high school career. Hell, our saluditorian would probably kill to be standing where I am right now."

At this, a little laughter bubbled up from the crowd, and Billy allowed himself a second to enjoy the way Nancy's face went bright red before he continued.

"But you'd all be wrong. True, I did get here halfway through my junior year and still managed to build myself up to this point with little to no support, but that’s precisely the reason I don't feel honored to be making this speech right now. It's not that I think I don't deserve it, because I do. I've worked myself half to death to get here right now, to prove to myself that I was not a complete failure and that I was good for something. So I took the hard classes, I turned in all the work, and I did the best I could to put myself where I'm standing right now. But I'm still not honored to be here, because I didn't do it for recognition. I didn't do it for praise or to prove that I'm the best or anything shallow like that. I also didn't do it out of love for school or my classes. I did it out of survival. I did it because if I didn't, I might not be accepting a diploma at all today. I did it because I had no other choice."

As Billy continued speaking, a confused murmur went through the crowd. The audience was wondering where he was going with all this, and the rest of his classmates and the staff were all wondering what happened to the other speech they'd had to listen to him reciting for the past two days at practice. All in all, everyone seemed lost, but Billy didn't care. He took a second as they recollected themselves to look up and see if his dad was still in his spot on the stands. He wasn't, so Billy kept going.

"Most of you here know that I'm not a perfect person. I'm a dick, really. If someone gets in my way, I have no qualms about punching them in the nose or making them cry as they run home to their mommies to have them make the boo-boos feel better. I'm not proud of this. It's just a part of who I am and I'm trying to work on changing it. As I'm getting older and getting closer and closer to leaving this town, it's getting easier to do that. But so far it's been a slow process, because I didn't have any reason to change. That's another reason I never quit and threw myself into my studies, because as I get closer to getting out of here, I'm finding more and more reasons to change. For one, my little sister Maxine deserves a brother that she can be proud of, not one that she dreads admitting relation to. For another, as soon as I get my diploma and decide where I'm going to college, I'm gone. Out of this town, out of this state, and especially out of my father's house. Believe it or not, there are actually people worse to others than me, and if you want an example, well, my father is the best one you'd ever find. As soon as I get my diploma, I get to be rid of him forever if I want to be, and that's exactly what I want. And finally, I met somebody. None of you probably want or need to hear about my love life, and I'll spare you the dirty details, but just know that this person is my reason for everything. For living, for working so hard, and for wanting to change. It's for these reasons, and there are probably more if I put my mind to it, I want to change out of the jerk I was and into a person that would be honored to be the best student in their class. It's for these reasons that I'm even here in the first place, why I pushed so hard to make myself survive and earn it. I'm not the best Valedictorian that this school will ever have, I'm far from it. But hopefully, now that you understand why I'm here, you won't think I'm the worst one, either. You'll understand why I'm here, what I had to do to make it happen, and why, even though I'm not feeling honored by being here, I'm more proud of myself than I ever have been in my life."

Billy had been nervous about giving a speech he didn't practice, but so far he seemed to be fine. He could see Steve on the verge of tears off to the side of him, and it made him remember that even if he was a total flop and didn't make any sense, at least a few people would be proud of him. So he decided to finish strong.

"And to my classmates, the graduating seniors of 1986, I want to say this: I didn't get here on my own. I had help, from a lot of you. I'd like to address some people who really helped on my journey here at Hawkins High, short as it may have been, and helped either directly or indirectly in my success. Heather Holloway, you've taught me to be confident and given me your friendship, which is an invaluable gift that I truly treasure every day. I love you, forever and always you'll be my best friend. Robin Buckley, you've shown me that it doesn't matter who I am or what I'm like, that there will always be people like me in the world and that if I find those people, I don't have to be afraid of what they'll bring out in me. Eddie Munson, you've taught me to be confident in all things, that it doesn't matter if the world is watching, as long as I believe in what I'm saying and doing that someday, I'll make it through and make it out, even if it takes a few tries. Chrissy Cunningham, you taught me to be sweet and kind. Jonathan Byers, you taught me that sometimes I need to see life through the lens of someone else's camera. Nancy Wheeler, you've taught me that you don't have to like a person to be proud of their accomplishments. And finally, Steve Harrington, even though you're already graduated, you know why I'm thanking you, and you know what you taught me. As we move forward throughout our lives, myself and the rest of the class of '86, I implore all of you to take these lessons with you and actually practice them. You'll be successful in whatever you choose to do with your time if you do so. Learn from these people, you don't have to like them, but learn from them. And if you do, I promise you, you'll beat the odds that are seemingly stacked against you."

After Billy finished his speech, he went back to his seat and sat down, waiting for whoever was speaking next to say whatever they needed to. He wasn't paying attention, rather looking over to Steve and Max again, who were both crying and clapping for him.

When the principal finally stood up and read out the names of all the seniors and handed them their diplomas, Billy stood up to receive his first. A shy smile on his face as he listened.

"William Felix Hargrove, class of 1986 Valedictorian," the principal read out like a robot, already tired of having to read out the names of the 236 graduating seniors after the first one. Billy stood and walked over to him, taking his diploma and shaking the man's hand as he smiled for a picture. He was sure he'd have to fake smile when he was told ther would be a photographer there, but because of the screams and shrieks he could hear coming from Steve and Max's direction, he found he didn't have to fake it. As he turned to walk back to his seat he saw them still crying and cheering, making such a scene that Billy was almost afraid the audience wouldn't hear it when Nancy's name was called, but then they quieted down.

They stayed quiet through the rest of the ceremony, except when they needed to make noise, and as soon as Billy was allowed to go and find them, they were on the field with him, both wrapping him in the tightest hugs they could manage. Max was practically squeezing the air out of him, sobbing into his graduation gown that she was already proud of him and she always would be, drawing a few tears from his eyes in the process as he muttered a "thanks, shitbird" into her hair. Steve had let them have their moment, having gone off to talk to Robin and to give her her present and a hug, but now he was walking back over, holding out the shark plushie and smiling from ear to ear.

"I got you this," he said as Billy took the animal, his own grin creeping onto his face. "I figured flowers would just die and you could eat chocolates. I wanted to get you something that would last."

"Thanks, pretty boy. I love her." He said, his face heating up as Max went to talk to her friends and Steve began to back them up until they were hidden from sight behind the bleachers.

"I'm really fucking proud of you, you know that?" He asked as they walked, keeping an eye out to make sure no one was looking as they slipped away. "And I was so surprised when you mentioned me in your speech. You didn't plan that thing at all, did you?"

"Was it that obvious?" Billy asked, but he laughed.

"No, but I just know you. You only get that look on your face when you're determined to do something completely on the fly. It was still fantastic though." Steve replied, finally finding them a quiet, dim little nook to hide away in.

"Thank you. For everything, and I really mean that, Stevie. I wouldn't have made it without you. You're everything to me, you're the main reason I did all that stuff like I said in the speech." Billy said, his voice weighed down with emotion. Steve could hear it, too, and his smile only grew wider as he leaned in real close.

"You saying you love me, Hargrove?" He asked, and the question honestly surprised Billy. Neither of them had ever said it before, even if they had felt it, so it just seemed too casual. But Billy had meant the things he'd said in his speech, about confidence and being himself and all that, and he wasn't giving up on those lessons now. He lunged forward and kissed Steve with all his might, wanting to tell him not only with words, but actions too.

"Yeah, I am. I love you, Steve." He said as they parted, his heart racing as he went in for another searing kiss. He really did mean it when he said it, too. He loved Steve, and he always would.

When this kiss was broken, it was like everything and nothing had changed. Billy was still afraid to hold Steve's hand once they left the cover of the bleachers, but until they stepped back out into the setting sun, he did it. He let Steve adjust his cap and gown before they went out to take pictures, and he let him insist on as many as he wanted to commemorate the occasion. They still couldn't do much in terms of physical contact, but every brush of fingers or press of a side that managed to take place as they snapped picture after picture was like a tiny little press of sunshine to their skin. It was different, but that was okay by them.

"Oh, and by the way," Steve asked as Joyce geared up to snap the next shot, "Since when is your middle name Felix?" And when the flash went off, all you could see what Steve looking puzzled as Billy cracked up laughing.

[libbee]

Self development series: It is almost impossible to know how others perceive you.

For a trauma survivor, social circle can be a tough nut to crack. Whether they are in classroom or with family or on a date or on social media, they are always worrying what others think about them. They would not consciously know but their behaviour shows they are trying to impress others/mould their opinion/desperate for likes dislikes views. What happened in offline world before is now visible on social media clearly. When their self esteem is terribly low, no achievement or external validation is ever enough. They are always unsure of themselves. Even for a non trauma survivor, people's perception is impossible to find out. Some might think that this post and blog are thoughtful or deep, while others might think that I am a complete dumbass and a noise. Even my choice of words, language, tone of writing and your own life stage, experience, perception will affect your judgment - it is that multidimensional how mind works.

While it is important to trust your own perception about the world, it is, at the same time, very hard, or even impossible, to know how others perceive you. You might think in your mind that others look down upon you/think you are boring/think you are ugly/think you are lazy, but do you actually know what they really think of you? A tyrannical parent is someone who controls their children, tells them lies about the world, tells them lies about themselves. "You are not that good", "You could have done better, there is nothing to celebrate", "Yeah, I see you got that degree, you must be too proud now". The parent does not even know they are downright invalidating their child, they just think that they are normal. A low self esteem girl is hungry for male approval. She will put down other women, compete with other women, but live in complete denial of her deep seated insecurity.

I have read through many resources but could not find one legitimate answer for "how to know others' perception of me?" The only answer was "ask them". Well, how would you ask others what they think about you? They might lie. And how many people in the world will you approach? You are barely around 100 people in daily life. You are only left with assumptions about YOURSELF.

Different people have different priority. Scorpios want deep intimate partner so they might think fwb situation is risky and stupid. Gemini want fast intellectual stimulation so they might think that quiet people are boring and uninteresting. Aries are leaderly and dominating so they might think that spiritual ones are lazy and unambitious. How many people will you "prove" yourself to? If your self esteem is low enough, you might as well overcompensate for it by really getting out of your way to flaunt, show off, sneakily post that shiny car in your story.

When we act out of low self esteem, we think that we have actually done something - while we may have just made a fool of ourselves in reality. For example, when I was in school and was the queen of gutter-land-self-esteem, I would be class clown, sarcastic, quick, witty (I am gemini moon). I made others laugh and that gave me massive validation... for 2 minutes. Then I would again wait for the next opportunity to tell jokes and feed on laughter for validation. So on, everyday. Validation seeking at school took so much of my energy that when I came back home I would be exhausted, tired and had mood swings.

If scientists invent a mirror in future that somehow answers "tell me, mirror on the wall, what does xyz think of me?" I think this gadget will break the market. Until then, we just have to live with self development and inner work. Recent example is Andrew Tate. All of us who are self aware would know how insecure this man was. His self improvement talks were just not enough when his complete philosophy was so self destructive. He might appear rich, give confident facial expressions, do podcast by citing biological instincts of men, but we can see how hard he was trying to manipulate other people's opinions about him. This is a case of unevolved person, someone who is unaware and in complete denial.

I can see insecurities in Andrew Tate because I have been there, done that. Same for any other celebrity who appear wise on social front - but are terribly insecure on personal front, when they are alone by themselves.

This underatanding will set you free and give you more time and energy to focus on your inner life. You might as well break the intergenerational cycle. Knowing the limitations of your brain will set you free. I believe that active imagination might help one to see how their character appears to others. You are, after all, collective unconscious, but that would require years of inner work.

[haggishlyhagging]

We have to face the fact that pieces have been cut out of us to make us fit into this society. We have to try to imagine what we could have been if we hadn't been taught from birth that we are stupid, unable to analyze anything, "intuitive," passive, physically weak, hysterical, overemotional, dependent by nature, incapable of defending ourselves against any attack, fit only to be the housekeeper, sex object, and emotional service center for some man, or men, and children. And that only if we're lucky—otherwise we must act out a commercial mockery of even these roles as someone's secretary!

We didn't get this way by heredity or by accident. We have been molded into these deformed postures, pushed into these service jobs, made to apologize for existing, taught to be unable to do anything requiring any strength at all, like opening doors or bottles. We have been told to be stupid, to be silly. We have had our mental and emotional feet bound for thousands of years. And the fact that some of the pieces that have been cut out of us are ones we can never replace or reconstruct—an ego, self-confidence, an ability to make choices—is the most difficult of all to deal with.

All of the women I know who have done things, jumped hurdles, and stepped even a pace outside of the charmed circle of the bourgeois family, have had to face the damage that has been done to them, and struggle with the rules they have internalized. To some of us, this process has taken the form of a "nervous breakdown"; for others, a long period of sheer personal horror; to others, a more drawn-out process of repeatedly sinking under despair, and rising again. I think that for some of my generation, caught in the kind of double binds we have all been caught in, it is impossible to achieve revolutionary consciousness without some sort of confrontation with the self. Politically, this is both a weakness and a strength. It is an asset to come to political understanding through personal pain: it makes possible a gut understanding of how society works as a system dependent on the personal suffering and deprivation of each of us. Such understanding is a help in building a revolutionary movement. Only by realizing what we might have been, can we imagine how different women in a post-revolutionary society might be able to be. But knowing that we cannot achieve this ourselves, that no matter how we struggle we are still in some part of ourselves "damaged goods" (to use the appropriate capitalist terminology), that we can see what has gone wrong within ourselves, and still be unable to put it permanently right—this is very painful and discouraging. But it is necessary: it is this realization that makes it evident that there really are no individual solutions to woman's oppression, no way that one can float free of our society and its conditioning. The pain of it is what makes us search so urgently for new forms of social organization that can help us, and others, change and transcend our limitations. This pain is what makes us realize, in our everyday lives, that social change is absolutely necessary. As Lucy Stone put it almost a century ago:

“In education, in marriage, in everything, disappointment is the lot of women. It shall be the business of my life to deepen this disappointment in every woman's heart until she bows down to it no longer.”

The things that mess us up are so built into the structure of society that only the most radical of social changes—one far more radical in its attack on the basic institutions of this society that traps us, and far more drastic in the changes it effects on human consciousness, than previous revolutions—has a chance of doing the job, of freeing us and freeing those who will be born out of our lives.

-Meredith Tax, ‘Woman and Her Mind: The Story of Everyday Life’ in Radical Feminism, Koedt et al (eds.)

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Shin Maniac [Epilogue]

ー The scene starts in the dungeon

*Drip drip*

Shin: Nn...

Where am I...?

*Rustle rustle* 

Shin: ( A prison cell...!? )

ー Kino approaches his cell

Kino: Hey there... Finally awake?

Shin: Kino...Did you put me in here!?

Fuck...

Kino: Okay, stop right there! No point in trying to use your magic.

This prison cell is a bit special, you see. It seals all magic. 

Shin: Wah...!? 

Kino: Or rather, you must be pretty stupid to sleep out there in the open while you are being pursued. 

Shin: Che...You put something into the spring’s water, didn’t you...!? 

*CLATTER*

Shin: ...And what are you hoping to achieve by capturing me? 

Kino: The options are endless? For example, I could force Carla to bow his head to me...For example. 

Back then Carla was just standing in for his Father...But right now, he is the one and only official Founder King.

Shin: You piece of trash...!

Kino: Also...The Founders’ powers are a force to be reckoned with in the eyes of the Vibora Clan, no? 

So I figured it’d be a big win for me if I could keep them away from me by capturing you.

Shin: ...I thought you were looking for a place to settle in the human world? 

So you were lying to us after all!?

Kino: That wasn’t a lie. Back then, that was the plan, but I just changed my mind.

Shin: ...Sounds like something I’ve heard before.

Kino: Oh come on, don’t be like that.

ー Somebody approaches the cell

Kino: ...Oh. Seems like your next visitor is here.

Zweig: ーー It has been a while, Founder.

Shin: ...The Vibora King.

Kino: See. I’ll step away then. See you later!

ー Kino leaves

Shin: ...! Hold up, Kino!

Zweig: Hahaha. Seems like the two of us are bound by fate, huh...?

Shin: Shut up. Who do you think you’re talking to!? Stay away from me, you drunkard. 

Zweig: Haha...I’m surprised you can tell I’ve had a couple of drinks. I suppose it’s true that Founders have an excellent sense of smell. 

Shin: ...

Zweig: No need to get so mad. The Vibora Clan and the Founders have a past together which cannot be erased...

Shin: ( This way...What is he saying all of a sudden...? )

Zweig: I doubt you are aware but...There was once a time where your Mother would visit our Castle quite frequently. 

Shin: Mother did...? What do you mean?

Zweig: This happened even before your Mother got married to Giesbach...

Krone was actually supposed to wed my successor, the Demon Lord Burai.

That is why she came here.

Shin: Haha...Don’t lie. A Founder woman wasn’t allowed to formally leave the Castle. 

It’d be impossible for Mother to have come here before her engagement. 

Zweig: Yes. It would have probably been impossible for her to achieve that on her own.

Shin: ...Don’t tell me.

Zweig: ーー But if somebody arranged it...Then it’s a whole other story, no?

Shin: ...!

I’ve never...heard about something like that.

Zweig: It is quite famous amongst the Vibora Clan.

Because this took place before the Founders were locked up inside Banmadenーー

Even before the current King, Carla, was born. So I honestly cannot blame you for not knowing.

Besides...I can only assume it would be a taboo topic amongst Founders.

Shin: ...Why?

Zweig: After all...It is rumored that Krone shared mutuals feelings with a Wolf Prince who worked as a servant under Burai. 

Shin: ーー !

Zweig: Apparently it was a Founder by the name of Ferzen who mediated their relationship. 

Shin: ( Ferzen...Our Uncle!? )

Zweig: ...Good grief. I suppose I’ve said too much.

I’ve fallen into a bad habit of drinking too much as of late...

ー Zweig leaves

Shin: Kuh...

( What if Mother continued to have connections with the Wolf Clan...Even after getting married to Father? )

( If Father was completely unaware of this, and she managed to keep the whole thing hidden as well...It would explain everything. )

( Why they were so kind to me, and why they treasured me... )

It can’t be...No, no, no!

*CLATTER*

Shin: I’m a Founder...I’m...

( A tall and proud Founder...Those whose bloodline is more sacred than anyone else’s in the whole wide world... )

( But...Then, why? How come I won’t get infected with Endzeit? )

( I’m still alive and well even after Nii-san’s blood entered my body? )

It has to be a lie...There’s no way...I’m a Founder, a Founder...!

*CLATTER*

Shin: ( If I’m not, then what has my life been up till now!? )

Uu...Ah...Uwaaaaaah!!!!!

ー The scene shifts to the guest room at Eden

*Flap flap flap* 

Yui: Ah...He’s back!

ー Yui runs up to the Familiar

Yui: Thank you for delivering my leーー ...Wait, huh...?

( This letter...It’s not a response from Shin-kun. It’s my letter... )

Eh...? Shin-kun hasn’t returned to Banmaden...?

( What does that mean...? He should have made it there by now... )

( I suppose I’ll try consulting with Ruki-kun... )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ...And that’s what happened.

Ruki: I see...I understand the situation. 

ーー Kou, Yuma, Azusa.

ー The others approach

Kou: What’s wrong?

Yuma: Yes? 

Azusa: Did something...happen...?

Ruki: Go check up on those two. ...Okay?

Yuma: Ah? Why? 

Kou: I mean, if that’s what you want, sure...

Azusa: Yeah...

ー They leave

Ruki: I’ll go have a look as well. ...You stay here.

Yui: But...

Ruki: ーー Understood?

Yui: Okay...

ー Ruki leaves as well

Monologue

All I could do was watch over them,

as the others left Eden. 

I became painfully aware of my own powerlessness. 

ーー Deep down.

I want nothing more than to find Shin-kun myself,

and to save him with my very own hands. 

I’m just so unreliable for being unable to do that,

as I simply found myself to be so utterly pathetic.

May he please be safe. 

While clutching my Cross in my hands,

I continued to pray for a while. 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[crystalelemental]

Going on anon because I’ll get flamed for my opinions but replaying Gen 5 sucks

The story drags, pokemon locations are stupid (seriously why is deino only in VICTORY ROAD), you’ll be underleveled for the most part unless you want to Audino grind, and (my most controversial take) I really don’t like BW Bianca and Cheren. N’s alright but since everyone goes “we have different viewpoints :)” anytime N tries to challenge the status quo it’s grating after a while

Somehow I had more fun replaying X than Black, and I’m sure if I said that on Twitter I’d be killed on sight

Also why did the shadow triad walk us across that straight line bridge in chargestone cave and not instead walk us towards the exit, I was so lost and on low hp trying to get out

It's alright anon, you're safe here.

On the point of Cheren and Bianca...I liked them well enough because of when I first played, but replaying they are a lot less compelling. A lot of their dialogue is repetitive and focused on the same beats. Cheren is just "What is the meaning of my strength?" over and over, while Bianca does absolutely nothing but hang back wondering about what she should be doing. It takes the second game for them to truly complete their arc. I can't say they're my favorite. My hot take is I don't think N is that compelling. My wife and I talk a lot about modern games (Galar and Paldea) doing this annoying thing where you're a special person who just shitstomps everyone else's dreams for your personal whims (Hop, Marnie, Kieran), and I feel like Gen 5 is where that really started happening thanks to N. The player is instantly imbued with a sense of being special and superior, because only your Pokemon seems to be super happy enough for N to question what he believes. His response to this is then to seek you out but also act like any refusal you have to his call is a personal affront. He gets kinda nasty about you saying No to any of his questions and probes. And again, the whole situation could be an interesting ethical dilemma, but the game doesn't want to contend with it so anyone who believes the system could have a flaw is just completely out of their minds.

That said, I actually want to talk about the Deino thing because that touches on a fun mechanical thing within the games.

Deino, as a pseudo-legend, is interesting to the point of being downright unique. Its appearance isn't atypical; fully half of pseudo-legends are post-game exclusive. Larvitar is supremely late game, and Beldum only shows up in time for the superboss fight with Steven in Emerald, otherwise it has nothing to do. Bagon shows up only after you've cleared the gyms, it's later than your Legendary. Dratini and Gible are the odd ones out. Dratini can be found halfway through your gym challenge in the Safari Zone if you know where to look and are willing to deal with Safari Zone catch rates. It's earlier access, but harder to complete. Gible can be found after only two gyms, but in a missable location that is visually impossible to identify, but comes with Gabite in Victory Road as compensation if you missed it.

Deino continues the general trend of being just a late availability Pokemon, but loses Gible's early access opportunity. This in itself isn't too atypical. No, what makes Deino fascinating is that it sucks.

Take a look at the performance of the prior pseudo-legends. The the early RBY days, if you found Dratini, you had access to a Pokemon that gets its first evolution kinda early, and can learn Fire, Water, Ice, and Electric coverage, giving it tools that let it handle the majority of the League just fine. In GSC, Larvitar shows up super late, but if you get one and put in the work to evolve (and better, learn Crunch and Earthquake as Larvitar first), Tyranitar blanks fully half of Red's team. In RSE, Bagon shows up late, but if you stall evolution a bit for Crunch and teach it Brick Break, a level 50 final stage is perfectly achievable, and has options to beat the entire E4. With Earthquake you beat Steven, although Wallace is a lot more of a problem. Metagross only shows up post-game, but in Emerald its Steel typing does make it a good response to much of Steven's own team, because he can't really hurt it. In DPPt, Gible's early access room comes with the Earthquake TM, allowing you to set up a monster right away that never really slows down, and with Flamethrower and access to Crunch, answers 3 members of the League independently.

Then there's Hydreigon. As Deino, it offers only Crunch. Dragon Rush is too inaccurate with Hustle to hit anything, and Body Slam offers nothing for coverage. Reusable TMs mean all the cool options aren't available, not that Zweilous can learn any of it. And Zweilous evolves at 50, a level where it wouldn't be unexpected that your team can already beat the League before it evolves once. If you do put in that work, Zweilous...actually goes through the best part of its life, because it can take down Caitlin and Shauntal, provided attacks actually connect. Then you have the long haul of postgame level scaling, trying to get it to beat things way bigger than it through low speed, poor bulk, and Hustle, to arrive at Hydreigon. Who doesn't even learn Dark Pulse naturally, and whose coverage options do not substantially change its matchups. And also because Caitlin and Shauntal are bulky it can't OHKO anything and their coverage is actually good (Golurk will one-shot with Hammer Arm, Musharna has Reflect and Reuniclus can obliterate with Focus Blast). Hydreigon, uniquely, does not contribute much.

I find this interesting as a pivot in game structure. I do think the games are designed with intent for the most part, and Gen 5 feels like a step away from the idea that the big statistical monsters are the most important. I assume this was intentional because Volcarona suffers the same fate, getting a useful Quiver Dance and Heat Wave by 60, but having the same "pre-evo is functionally useless all its life, and doesn't get the other good moves it wants until way later if at all." Bug Buzz at 70 is like GSC Heracross: yeah it's a great move, too bad I'll never reach that level to get it. And despite having Psychic, Marshal has so much Rock coverage it won't get anywhere. Caitlin and Shauntal were handled better by Beheeyem's bulky Calm Mind set, and Marshal was handled best by a +Def nature Rocky Helmet Durant. Which is weird compared to the usual pseudo-legend approach. It makes them feel like a lot more work for a lot less reward.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Heyo! M.I., here, with a second update today. Hopefully this makes up for the complete absence of Blackie in the first one. (Oh, and I totally forgot to say this earlier...can you seriously just picture Freddy getting a second glove, but they're both full of crochet needles lmao)

1974

You've almost stopped noticing the passage of time. One day you could have a customer bundled in their winter coat, the next shorts and sandals. Which usually didn't indicate much besides a change in hemisphere.

Seasonal holidays aren't really important, either. The one thing you do have? New Year's Eve. The Cafe seems to love it, transforming itself into a tacky wonderland of streamers and lights. The tv screen flipping from one celebration to another.

Your little group of three gathers around as the clock strikes midnight wherever you are, clinking the champagne the building always provides.

This year, Blackie seems strangely on edge. This, in turn, puts you on edge. Nothing gets to him, so if something has, that can't be good. He never says much during the toast beyond the standard wishing of a happy new year, maybe some cynical musings about who's going to wander in over the next one.

You're simultaneously intrigued and worried by the cryptic 'to new beginnings,' he offers up. It's too out of the ordinary to be unimportant.

You're not reassured when he's nowhere to be found the next morning. Logically, you understand that Blackie disappears all the time. He's got things to set in motion. But you can't shake the feeling something's...off.

Not that you're given much time to ponder it before the door swings open, ushering in a pair of teenagers along with a blast of cold air.

There's a ring on the girl's left hand that can only have come from a box of Cracker Jack with how cheap it looks. It's the most terrifying promise you've ever seen and you hate her boyfriend on principle.

It's going to be impossible to speak with them together. You can already tell that from the defiant way the girl cuddles into the arm draped around her shoulders. No one understands how in love they are. How ready to take on the world.

He's a musician. God, of course he is! The hair gave that away. That and the way he goes on about just needing to get in front of the right people with his guitar and it'll be smooth sailing to the top. You know she's afraid of being left in the stardust, even if she doesn't say it.

Seeing them, you have to give yourself some credit. Tommy had never gone near a guitar. His sole ambition was 'become rich.'...Oh. No, actually, maybe you don't deserve any credit. You spent years believing in someone who had a vague dream and no discernable talent or skills to achieve it.

This girl can't be allowed to go the same way.

You finally manage to corner her in the bathroom, eyes darting quickly to search out any signs of abuse when she emerges from the stall. It's sad to say, but you've been here long enough to become an expert.

"You alright, honey," you ask. "Should I call someone?"

"No," the girl says tersely, scrubbing her hands extra hard and avoiding your gaze. Clearly she's heard this all before. "I'm fine."

"Maybe you think that, now, but-"

"Leave me alone!"

Alright, that was clumsy of you. Poorly-handled. Fortunately, the extra delay has bought Tommy enough time to get the boyfriend away somewhere. The girl looks uneasy, twisting her ring as she waits in the booth.

It's a good two hours before they return, freezing you with the swing of the door. The boy looks pale, sitting down across from his girlfriend instead of cuddling up again. Taking her hands. You can't hear the conversation, but she's shaking her head frantically.

"What'd you say to him," you ask Tommy, getting him alone in the kitchen.

The two of you watch through the window, keeping your own voices low. Standing a little back and to the side so they won't immediately catch you if they look up.

"Showed 'im he was being stupid," Tommy replies, holding out his arm to offer you a cuddle. You allow it. "There's a bridge about five miles from here, old guy under it with nothing but a guitar..."

You have a feeling you know exactly who the old guy was, and find yourself oddly relieved to know where Blackie had gone. Along with sorry to have missed seeing him dressed down in hobo-chic. His antics aren't nearly so bad when he's on the helper side of things. Shame he's gotta be an ass just as frequently, but you're starting to understand that's a literal requirement of the job.

Doesn't mean he needs to have so much fun with it.

"Kid thinks he's invincible," Tommy continues. You tilt your head back to look at him and the two of you exchange bitter smiles. "Said that would never happen to him and if it did he'd just work his way up. So I asked what about her. What does he think happens to women living under a bridge and could he protect her from that?"

"That actually worked?"

"I had to spin a few worst case scenarios, but...yeah. He's a hot-headed idiot, but he definitely cares."

"He's not hurting her?"

"Nah. Except right now," Tommy adds as an afterthought while you watch the ensuing drama play out.

The girl starts crying, throwing her cheap ring at her boyfriend and flouncing out the door. Letting in another blast of cold and nearly bowling Blackie over in the process. She pauses long enough to give a red-faced apology before hurrying on.

You're even more relieved to see him back. But that something is still hanging over him.

He looks at the boy, who ducks his head at the scrutiny.

"Lover's quarrel?"

"Yeah." The kid runs his hand through his rockstar hair. Bends to collect the ring from under the table. "Yeah. Guess I better go after 'er."

"Ya think," you mutter sarcastically, finally untangling from Tommy as he gives a quiet laugh at your remark.

One more blast of cold, that still manages to reach you in the warm kitchen thanks to the giant window. Making you grumble as your bare legs have had enough.

Blackie sits with his back to the counter, leaning on his elbows; lazily snapping his fingers at the tv. You and Tommy make your way into the dining area for a better view.

The screen displays the adolescent lovebirds waiting at a bus stop. Huddling for warmth and talking about going home to see what opportunities Jesse can find there. You'd wondered what their names were, as both had refused to give them. You still don't know hers, but it's enough that you do know they'll be sensible. Work hard and wait for things to happen in their own time. Instead of getting impatient for dreams that were too far out of reach.

She's not wearing the ring. It gives you hope she'll outgrow hot-headed rockstars in the meantime.

Suddenly, there's a shift in the atmosphere. A humming energy that makes you gasp in recognition. You and Tommy turn as one to face the door.

It's glowing. Barely able to contain the too-bright whiteness behind it. Blackie reaches into the air for his sunglasses. You reach for Tommy's hand, giving it a squeeze.

The door swings open. The pair of you step forward but something...blocks you. Only you. Tommy stops, as well, looking down at you apologetically. The last time he'll ever have to do that, you know.

"I love you," he says.

You don't say it back, that would be dishonest. But you do let yourself be kissed goodbye for the sake of the past and the almost rekindling that had begun with your stay here.

Then he's gone.

That's when it hits you all over again. The way it had the night you died. He was your biggest regret. When you were alive, it was always lurking in your subconscious. The post-death, better version had almost made you forget. And you'd found yourself starting to care for him the way you had when you were bright-eyed and stupid. Free of bitterness.

Now he's let go of his regrets and left you behind. The way he should've in the first place. You stand regarding the door with open hostility as it gently sways in his wake. Taking a harsh, shuddering breath, you stalk towards the ladies' room without a word. Trusting The Cafe will know what you need.

It's an empty, white void when you get there and you smile, sad but grateful, before throwing your head back and screaming into it.

"I was a child, you no good, reckless son!of!a!biiiiitch!!"

He'd never even given you so much as a Cracker Jack ring. Bastard.

You stay there for who knows how long. Shrieking, crying, kicking and pounding your fists on the soft yet sturdy walls. Your rage isn't spent by the time you leave, but you need an interactive target. Preferably male. There's only one of those available right now. Or, you suppose that should be 'anymore.'

To be honest, even limited to verbal sparring, fighting with Blackie is satisfying in a way. You get to be angry without feeling bad about it, and you know he'll give as good as he gets.

He's right where you left him. Though now he's facing forward, eating a cup of coffee with a spoon. Like it's cereal. Overloaded with sugar, too, if you had to guess. He raises an eyebrow curiously at your return. As if there wasn't a very good chance he'd seen your entire breakdown on the television screen and was waiting for you.

You hope not but...you know there's precedent. Honestly, you were sure the building meant well, but you'd rather've had a moment to yourself.

"Why didn't you stop him," you demand, stomping over and slamming a hand on the counter.

Blackie shuffles to the next bar stool, taking his coffee with him. Away from you. Which you think probably has less to do with feeling threatened and more with how far you've encroached on his personal space to yell at him. Practically in his face if he'd turned even an inch in your direction.

"Not really my job."

"Oh, bull!"

He should have been more than capable of dangling an offer that left Tommy stuck here with you. The way he deserved.

Thinking about it, now, you feel a little betrayed. Saving the kids must have been a final step. For him. Something The Cafe had begun by giving you that glimpse into his thoughts. Earning his redemption in your eyes and setting him free with your forgiveness.

"He was ready," Blackie says with a shrug. "I can't stop that."

"And me?" You're still spitting your words like tearful daggers. "Don't I get to be ready? I was right there with him for all of it."

Why are you still here, in this endless, timeless limbo? Helping other people move on or go home when you can't do either.

"Not up to me," Blackie reiterates calmly. "That's between you and...uh..."

He trails off, pointing upward. Directing his eyes the same way. His refusal to engage properly somewhat deflates your anger and you settle for scoffing at the unfairness; folding your arms and dropping onto the seat he'd just vacated.

There's a little glitch in reality as he slides his cup across the counter. Well, it's not his, anymore. Just a duplicate. This one filled with cocoa and a generous dollop of whipped cream.

Somehow, his coffee never actually moved despite the fact you'd watched it happen.

"Thanks," you say, more to him than the building. You're not happy with it at the moment. "When I was really upset, mom used to-"

Make you hot chocolate just like this. Even in the summer, braving the heat to simmer it on the stove because nothing cheered you up quite as well. Blackie knows this, already. In that unsettling way he knew everything about your lives.

For a moment, you sip quietly and think about finally making a wish to go home. You'd phrase it as 'I wish I'd never met Tommy.'

Except it wouldn't do any good. You'd danced that dance before. The first night when you'd passed all the little tests Blackie threw at you to prove yourself worthy of being a guardian spirit or whatever you were, now. Your life would be on fast forward until the inevitable death at twenty-six.

No matter how things played out, there wasn't any more future left for you. And you'd just been rejected by heaven. No way of knowing if that were temporary or permanent.

"Did you know," you ask quietly, fidgetting with your cup handle. "Is that why you've been so..."

Trailing off, you gesture vaguely. Trying to convey with a wave of your hand that he hadn't been himself.

"I did."

It's matter-of-fact. No guilt or apology. He and The Cafe both knew Tommy's stay was drawing to a close without you. Both helped facilitate it.

"A warning would've been nice, thanks."

"Why?" Blackie still has that same matter-of-fact tone, spooning more coffee into his mouth. "It wouldn't have changed anything...just sped up the sulking."

You huff at him, sipping your cocoa.

"I could've been more prepared."

"True," he concedes. "But tell me this: the night you died...would you want someone warning you, knowing it was still going to happen? Nothing you could do but dread the inevitable."

"No, but...this is different."

"Not really."

You hate admitting Blackie's right. In a way, it was still a death you'd be dreading and couldn't stop. Tommy's gone and he won't be back. You hate him. You're jealous. You once loved him. He was your friend. You'll miss him. For good or bad, that was still a decade and some odd years spent together.

You can't help feeling very conspired against.

Not to mention very disturbed, suddenly wondering what else Blackie knew. If his strange mood didn't have just as much to do with awkwardness around seeing things he shouldn't.

"Did you see...us," you ask, cringing back from the question while the words are still forming.

He looks away, only giving you a glance from the corner of his eye.

"Do you want honest or reassuring?"

Okay, that answers that. Now you're stuck with him for who knows how long, and you don't know if you can ever bear to face him again.

You gather what's left of your cocoa and beat a hasty retreat toward the ladies' and your own room, but his next words pull you up short. Addressed to the nearly empty cup he's idly stirring.

"For the record...I turned it right back off."

"Thank you," you say, clutching your cup and exhaling the words on a sigh of relief. "That was really-"

Polite. Kind. Gentlemanly. What comes out is an awkward combination.

"-polind...ly. Look, I'm just going to avoid you for awhile until we can both pretend that didn't happen."

"Perfectly understandable." Then he looks up. Deadpan except for the mischievous twinkle. "But don't worry. I saw more of Tommy and his birthmark than of you."

You laugh. Just like that, everything's okay again. You're still going to hide for at least a week, though.

Blackieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

He's killing me XD Oh lord.

The bit where Frank has the opportunity to watch Fae change in the first ep but turns the screen off is my FAVOURITE part of the first episode XD And seeing it mirrored here is giving me all good feelings 💛!💛!💛!

This is my favourite part so far XD Every new part you make is my new favourite, though-