#i only did this because of one person and i might never do it again

[karenandhenwilson]

Let's talk about the 21st century and queer rights

Sometimes I see a post and wonder what kind of world people live in, how ignorant and hateful they are of the community they claim to be part of, and even the most recent history of that community.

I saw this post with this line in it: "Its the 21th century, are we still suppose to justify people who lie at their partners in order to protect their reputation?" And I'm not reblogging because I don't want to have it on my blog.

So, let's talk about the 21st century and queer rights in the US, shall we, @queershits?

Did you know that same-sex marriage in the US as a whole has only been legal since the Supreme Court decision on Obergefell v. Hodges on June 26, 2015? Prior to that, the first state to grant same-sex marriage was Massachusetts in 2004, while the first civil unions for gay and lesbian couples became legal in 2000. But at the same time, 28 states had banned same-sex marriage and the recognition of those marriages from other jurisdictions until 2015. In fact, the federal government had been banned from recognizing same-sex marriages by the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996, which had been voided by the Supreme Court decision in 2015 but has only been fully repealed by the Respect of Marriage Act in 2022. That's all the 21st century. And very recent 21st century!

When Hen and Karen adopted Denny in 2011, they weren't married. Because at that point in time, they weren't allowed to in California.

Did you know that until the Supreme Court ruling on Lawrence v. Texas on June 26, 2003, same-sex sexual activity was illegal in 14 US states? And that even with that ruling 12 of these states have not changed their state's constitution, so that these laws aren't executable but still on the book and regularly used to harass queer people? (And didn't the current Supreme Court just say after overthrowing Roe v. Wade they'd like to take a good long look at Lawrence v. Texas, too? People might lose their rights again in those 12 states if the worst comes to pass here.) That's all the 21st century.

Did you know that "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" came into effect in 1994, allowing gay and bi people to serve in the US military as long as no one found out about their sexual orientation? If they were found out, they could face dishonorable discharges or even prison time. Either would be a permanent burden on their records for the rest of their lives. DADT was repelled in 2011 after a long and hard debate. That's well into the 21st century.

Karen explicitely states that DADT is part of the reason she didn't become an astronaut. (Though, NASA was never truly subjected to the rule as it is not a military organisation. But on the other hand, many of the astronatus are active or former military.)

Tommy was at the 118 in 2005. We know he was in the Army prior to joining the LAFD. That means Tommy served under the rule of DADT, which would have been an immense burden on him.

Do you know that there is a defense called "LGBTQ+ panic" often used in combination with a defense of insanity, provocation, or self-defense? This defense tactic is only banned in 21 US states, and most of those bans are very recent. In 2018, only three states had banned this defense. In 29 US states people are allowed to say "this person is gay/trans/queer/etc and I felt threated by that fact alone so I saw myself with no other choice but to hurt them" in a court of a law and the jury has to consider that argument. That's the 21st century.

Let's take a look at the kind of world Josh, Michael, and Tommy would have been children and teenagers in. That's not quite the 21st century, but it's near enough.

Tha aids epemedic started in the 1980s, and is — for the record! — still ongoing. But in the 1980s it was very much deemed a problem of the gay community only. And many, many people claimed outrageous things like "they're getting what they deserve". Josh and Tommy are both 80s children, Michael was a teenager in the 80s. We know Tommy grew up with a bigoted and hateful man like Gerrard as a father. He probably heard the above quote and worse regularly.

Have you ever heard the name Mathew Shepard, @queershits? (If not, go and educate yourself!) Mathew Shepard was a young gay man tortured and murdered in October 1998. Josh and Tommy would have been teenagers or maybe young adults (as we don't know the exact age of either of them) when that happened. It was all over the news and there were, again, people not shying away from saying he got what he deserved. I've no doubt Tommy's father (and Gerrard) was one of those people.

That's the world Josh, Michael, and Tommy grew up in as gay men that Josh talked about. They didn't hide to protect their reputation, as it was put in the quote above. They hid to protect their life and well-being. Finding the confidence and security to let go of that kind of learned behavior to protect yourself is so hard. But all three did it!

There are still people today who have to hide like this in the US. Because they're born into the wrong family or the wrong neighborhood or the wrong religious community where being queer is still seen as a ground to hate them, to exclude them, to hurt them, to kill them.

The number of hate crimes is rising again. The hard-won rights and freedom of queer people are threatened again. It's the 21st century, but that doesn't mean we are always safe or that we don't sometimes have to do shady things to protect ourselves or that we can lean back and enjoy the rights we have. Because many of us all over the world either don't have any rights or are facing the very real danger of losing the rights again that those who came before us fought so hard for.

[asha-mage]

BingLiuShen au where Shen Qingqiu's fevered heteronormativity poisoned brain decides that the best way to avoid dying for the crime of being a heterosexual male in a stallion novel is to pretend not to be heterosexual and thus not a threat to the protagonist's harem. He figures if he can hit that sweet spot where his (supposed! Not real at all!) sexuality is just a quirk of the beloved mentor then the narrative will have no choice but to keep him alive. Airplane might be a hack, but he's exactly the sort of hack who would put in a token gay character, then shunt them off to the background, only to be trotted out again when he's getting flack in the comments for sexist, homophobic, and/or generally shitty writing decisions.

And for Shen Yuan, whose stated life goal is to idle away the hours in luxury and occasionally bask in Binghe's protagonisty coolness (in a very heterosexual way of course!) that would be the perfect out. There's just one problem- how does he demonstrate his (definitely fake!) homosexuality without playing into homophobic tropes and getting himself killed for offending the genre's aggressively het sensibilities?

The answer? Pretend to be pinning away silently in unrequited love for another man. It's perfect! All he has to do is drop a few extremely subtle hints in Binghe's hearing implying having feelings he would never act on for say, Liu Qingge, and he'll be golden. After all, what person attracted to men (which he isn't!) wouldn't fall immediately in love with the Bai Zhan War God? It has the added benefit of proving what a good Token Gay he is by the fact that he saved Liu Qingge's life without any expectations or hopes and without ever even revealing his (supposed!) feelings.

Shen Qingqiu gets about a week of feeling like a genius after putting this plot into motion before Liu Qingge starts showing up at Qing Jing with small gifts and pastries and asking to spar, and well. In between melting down (because how on earth did he put it together from the grand total of three entirely ambiguous hints he dropped!) and trying to stay composed (because even the straightest guy- which he is!- would get flustered by having Liu Qingge smiling at him Like That) he figures the only rational thing to do is just Commit To the Bit, resign himself to one day becoming cultivation partners with Liu Qingge and retiring together into the background of future plot shenanigans. Their are clearly no other possible ways of dealing with this situation, and hey being with Liu Qingge of all people isn't bad. That's a fan favorite character and he's stupidly handsome and brave and kind! Shen Qingqiu could do a lot worse, especially in a world like PIDW. In fact given the alternatives, Shen Qingqiu's could probably consider himself incredibly lucky. Objectively that is. From a purely 'guy trying to survive this dumb novel' point of view. It would be an honor to have Liu Qingge's arms wrapped around him. If he where into men of course.

Meanwhile you have Luo Binghe in the background of every scene the two are in with a forced smile, internally speed running the '*fork in garbage disposal noises*' to 'I just want my Shizun to be happy! I swear!' to 'actually Liu-shishu is really nice I can see what Shizun sees in him' to 'oh no I think I want to be in the Middle Of Whatever That Is' arc.

(And of course, Binghe at the end of the day IS the protagonist, and after much trial and tribulation, is supposed to get exactly what he wants...)

And all the while you have Liu Qingge, utterly oblivious to the mental anguish and gymnastics of his shidi and shizi, who just keeps turning up at Qing Jing, because he really does like Shen Qingqiu and even if that first date was his sister's idea he's found he really does enjoy spending time with Shen Qingqiu, and also Shen Qingqiu's sticky first disciple who despite the crocodile tears is actually clearly pretty strong. He has no idea that Shen Qingqiu is silently picking out drapery for the future house while Luo Binghe tries to rationalize his out of control heartbeat as a completely normal side effect of the sparring match they just fought (Which he only keeps challenging Liu-shishu to make sure he's strong enough to protect Shizun! He swears!).

WIll the three of them ever figure it out and get their act together? Sure. Will they do it before the Conference/Abyss arc upends everything? Absolutely not.

[wonkizz]

do you feel the same way i do about you?

성훈 x fmr genre: angst warns: cursing, shit talking, alcohol/drinking, unrequited love, parties, not proofread

Sunghoon is your best friend. Someone you’ve gone through hard times with, someone who’s always been there for you. It was easy for you to catch feelings, but it was also just as easy to hide them away.

The one thing people always say about you and Sunghoon is that you’re so different it’s almost comical. He’s loud and cheerful, albeit around people he’s comfortable with, while you’re quiet and shy with practically everyone, even him.

You’ve tried over the years to branch out and make more friends, but you always find yourself falling short and just missing the mark.

But Sunghoon, he’s never made you feel bad about your personality, if anything he’s allowed you to embrace it.

Which is why when he convinced you to go to a party with him, he was as shocked as you were.

You don’t go to parties, they’re just not for you. But Sunghoon said this one would be good and a chance for you to make more friends.

He wanted to introduce you to his other friends, the ones he’s made at your college.

You were hesitant but decided it might be worth it in the end.

Only problem is, you don’t have party worthy clothes. Your style is basic, you wear jeans and sweaters on most occasions because you prefer comfort over anything else.

When you tell Sunghoon this, he urges you not to worry about it, saying he’ll handle it.

What exactly does that mean? Buying you the skimpiest outfit he could find.

The dress is short, barely covers your ass and your chest is nearly exposed.

“Sunghoon, I don’t think this is for me,” you say, staring at yourself in the mirror.

You did your own hair and makeup, although barely any, and the outfit was the final touch.

You don’t look like you.

“Are you kidding? You look great!” He says, enthusiastic as ever.

“I just… I don't look like myself, you know? I feel weird.”

“I promise, everything will be fine. I know you’re stepping out of your comfort zone for me, and I really appreciate it. This is just part of it.”

Sunghoon, ever the sweet talker, smiles when you nod.

“Okay, let’s go.”

The drive isn’t far, it’s being hosted by Sunghoon’s friend Jay.

When you say the house is gigantic, you mean it.

Your one bedroom is more like a studio compared to it.

Your nerves start to get the better of you, and you almost don’t want to get out of the car.

Sunghoon opens the passenger door for you, holding out a hand, “Come on.”

You take it, and he leads you up the steps and straight inside, not even bothering to knock.

Then again, why would he have to? It’s a party for god's sake.

He leads you through a wave of bodies until you reach the kitchen.

6 other guys are standing there and Sunghoon greets them eagerly.

You can’t help but stand there awkwardly, twiddling your fingers and looking down at the ground.

“Guys, this is Y/N, my best friend,” Sunghoon says as he begins to point at everyone, “Y/N this is Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunoo, Jungwon and Riki.”

You wave at them, giving a shy smile as they all greet you.

“You didn’t tell us how pretty she is, Sunghoon,” Heeseung says, raising an eyebrow.

Sunghoon scoffs, “Yeah yeah, don’t overwhelm her, this isn’t her type of thing.”

He grabs two beers from the fridge, opening them and handing you one.

You sip it gently, souring at the taste. You’re not a big drinker either.

It’s not long before Sunghoon effectively abandons you.

He dragged you to the dance floor one minute, then the next he was gone.

You don’t know why, but something is telling you to head upstairs.

It’s there you hear your name coming from a bedroom with the door slightly ajar.

“Why didn’t you introduce us to Y/N sooner?” You barely recognize Heeseung’s voice amongst all the noise coming from downstairs.

You certainly recognize Sunghoon as the next person to speak, “Parties aren’t her thing, I told you that.”

“We’ve been in college for 4 years though. This is the first time you’ve gotten her to come to one?”

“What else can I say? She’s a stick in the mud.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say about your best friend,” Sunoo speaks up.

“I know, but it’s true. She’s kind and all but she’s so shy and closed off that she can’t make friends. The only reason we really became friends is because our parents pushed us to be close.”

Ouch.

“So you’re friends with her out of pity?” Riki asks.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Sunghoon retorts, “she’s sweet and I appreciate having her as a friend but she’s kinda boring and our personalities don’t really match at all. If it weren’t for our parents, we probably wouldn’t be friends at all.”

“That’s harsh, man,” Jake pipes up.

“I know, I just…don’t know how else to describe her.”

You’ve never felt genuine heartbreak. Not until this moment.

So this is how he feels about you? The best friend you thought accepted you for who you are, truly just…tolerates you?

Has he always felt this way? Has he only kept you as a friend out of pity?

You never thought of yourself as less than when it came to Sunghoon, but now, you’re doubting everything you thought you knew.

As tears gather in your eyes, you turn around making your way back downstairs and out the front door.

You call yourself an uber and go home, crying silently in the back seat of this stranger's car.

Once you make it inside your apartment, you take the heels Sunghoon bought off, thank god because they were killing your feet.

Heading into your bedroom, you look at yourself in the mirror again. The girl glaring back at you, isn’t you. She’s what Sunghoon wants you to be, but clearly you can’t give him that.

You almost tear the dress as you’re taking it off, and change into sweats and a t-shirt.

As you lay in bed, you think back on your years with Sunghoon.

All the time he tried to convince you to do things with him, all the times you tried. All the times you asked him to do something with you and all the times he declined because they “weren’t his style.”

Has it really always been like this? You, trying to be different for Sunghoon, but Sunghoon, never trying for you?

Suddenly you feel humiliated.

Humiliated at the fact that your friendship with Sunghoon has all been a fluke.

You’ve always accepted Sunghoon for who he is. Yet, he never truly did the same for you.

Your phone buzzes beside you, Sunghoon’s contact coming up with a text.

‘Where are you?’ It says.

You don’t bother answering, instead, putting your phone on the charger and turning it off.

You fall asleep with your eyes swollen and heart broken.

When you turn your phone on the next morning, it’s full of texts from Sunghoon.

You, again, don’t bother answering. You’re disgusted by last night's events.

You don’t have class thankfully, so you lounge around in your pajamas all morning.

It’s not until noon when there’s a knock at your door.

You mentally slap yourself for not checking the peephole, because once you open it, you regret it.

Sunghoon stands there, an evident frown on his face.

“Why haven’t you answered my texts?” He says, immediately.

You feel snappy, like the word nice is not in your vocabulary at the moment.

“Can I be honest? I didn’t want to talk to you.”

Sunghoon’s face furrows, “Why? What’d I do?”

You just begin to laugh. You don’t know if it’s the leftover pain morphing into anger or the fact that you’re tired.

“Why are you here Sunghoon? I don’t need your pity, not anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

Then, you’re shouting, “I heard you last night! You’re friends with me out of fucking pity and I’m honestly disgusted!”

Sunghoon’s face morphs from confusion to shock.

“I…you heard me?”

“I did.” You nod, “And honestly, if you were so fucking bored of me, you should’ve just ended the ‘friendship’ instead of dragging it along like this.”

“Y/N I…I didn’t mean any of that—,”

“Yes you did! You did because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have said it.”

There’s nothing but silence from his end, like he’s trying to process everything while you’ve already caught up.

You can feel tears pricking your eyes again and damn if it isn’t embarrassing to cry in front of him, but at this point, you don’t care.

“You know what hurts the most?” You ask as Sunghoon looks up, into your eyes.

“The fact that I did so much for you. You wanted to go out? Fine. You wanted me to put myself out there in a place I was totally out of place at? Fine. So many times I made myself uncomfortable for you. But the very few times I asked you to do something with me, for me, you always said no. It wasn’t your thing. Do you realize how fucking pathetic I feel knowing my friendship was so one-sided?”

Sunghoon doesn’t say a word, tears gathering in his own eyes. “I’m sorry.”

You nod, “I’m sorry too. Sorry that we both wasted our time. Sorry, that I ever had feelings for you. Consider this ‘friendship’ over, Sunghoon.”

With that, you close the door in his face, locking it before letting yourself break.

You settle on your couch, curling into a ball, clutching a pillow as you cry.

There’s a few stray knocks, but he eventually leaves.

WONKIZZ 2025

[shoukokus]

How would the door leaders (Housewardens) react to an extremely flirty reader (if the housewardens flirts back the reader would double down with even more flirt)?

I love this. Where my fellow don't know when they're flirting people at?

Riddle Rosehearts

You'll have to give him the most obvious flirtatious comment for him to realize that's what you're doing. But once he gets it, oh boy.

Turns ridiculously red, whether you're together or not

If you aren't, he says with a huge stutter that you need to watch what you say

If you are, he tries to be smoother with it

"Ah, yes, thank you..." He clears his throat. "You look lovely as well."

Please just don't do it in front of people, he'll clam up and be very uncomfortable

Leona Kingscholar

Bold little thing aren't you?

Don't you know what flirting with a prince means? Are you prepared to spend life by his side, saying things like that in public to him...

He'll flirt back whether you're together or not

It kind of becomes a competition of who can fluster the other one more, but I warn you he's a tough rival, he's got plenty to say about you

I'll give you a little hint though, get really genuine with it. Say how intelligent he is, how his country is lucky to have him, give him all the praise!

The two of you can go back and forth for hours, while everyone around you has died of embarrassment awhile ago

Azul Ashengrotto

Are you trying to kill him?

You know that cliche anime glasses crack? That's him the first time you flirt with him

He doesn't even know how to be suave in response (especially if he really likes you) he's just too flustered

Flirting with him is fun and all, but the thing that's really gonna make him melt is genuine praise. His intelligence, his business sense, his dedication.

I mean you can turn that into flirts.... just saying..

Won't flirt back unless you're in a relationship, and even then it's very awkward. He doesn't know how to do it, but an experienced flirt like yourself can teach him

Kalim Al-Asim

He honestly just thinks you're being friendly

You could straight up say the most romantic pick up line on the planet, and he'd just smile and say it back. Then walk along like nothing happened

If you're serious about him, you'll have to grab him by the shoulders and say that you've been flirting because you're romantically interested

If not, then yall will just have fun!

He can effortlessly make your heart pitter patter, you know he means everything he says

In a relationship or not, you can have a really fun back and forth with him

Vil Schoenheit

He hears basic flirting all the time, you're going to have to get creative

Perhaps compliment his skill, get personal with it! Say that no one else could play the roles he's getting

Once you get there, that's when he starts responding and genuinely enjoying the flirting you do

It's nice to be appreciated in such a genuine manner, and not just someone after his fame or looks.

Occasionally flirts back, but frankly he's not the best at it! You may think he's smooth and a natural flirt, but honestly he's never felt the need to respond back before. He likes learning what makes you blush though <3

Just make sure he's the only one you're flirting with now, okay?

Idia Shroud

Spontaneously combusts. Good job, you killed him

He's fun to tease, he has the best reactions to even the simplest of compliments

However he's not going to do anything in response until you get real with him. So unless you're in an established relationship, don't expect much back

MIGHT tell you not to do it in public, that stuff is too cringe to say out loud!!

But he also gets a sense of pride from it

Can't flirt back to save his life. Tried once, hated it, never did it again. He's fine with you being the flirty one

Malleus Draconia

Is so old school about it, to him flirting means courting

The second you flirt with him, he's giving you hand written notes about how lovely you are.

Honestly? He's better at this than you are and he doesn't even know it

That probably makes you want to up your game though, right? He just likes having all your attention and praise, it makes him a very happy dragon

You'd need to actually explain flirting/pick up lines to him. That you do it when you're interested in the person for a variety of reasons (romantic or otherwise), and want to see what it takes to fluster them.

Maybe gets a little down after that, thinking it was just for fun and not serious. Please tell him it was serious and then swear he's the only one you're interested in <3

Requests are open!

[highlynerdy]

2024 year end Cdrama list

It's mid January and I'm finally getting around to finishing this up. I watched quite a lot of cdramas in 2024. Like. A lot. 28 dramas! (Plus a rewatch of Nirvana in Fire and Joy of Life 1) That might not sound like that much but the previous 2 years I watched 5 and 4 respectively. I was really inspired by @dangermousie 's wrap up list but decided to group mine by how much I enjoyed them since I watched both older and current dramas. Also, this list is just my personal opinions so if there's a drama on here that you loved and I didn't, that's just preference and not an attack on your taste. Secondly, this may contain spoilers for semi-recent dramas. And finally, I really did try to not be long winded but...yeah. Here we go.

❌ DROPPED SUPER EARLY Are You The One - the look of the drama and just the first two episodes were both nah for me.

Go East - I unfairly only gave this one episode so maybe I’ll check it out in the future but I just wasn’t vibing with the premise at all. I usually don’t go in for comedies to begin with. 

Princess Royal - I love both of the lead actors but I couldn’t get into it.

Love’s Rebellion - Nope. Two cutesy and not my style.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook - I tried three separate times to get into this drama and finally made it to episode 6 or 7 before realizing I just couldn’t do it.

⭐️ WATCHED A LOT BUT STILL DROPPED Love Game In Eastern Fantasy - This was so cute and funny and also gorgeous visuals. Yu Shuxin just shines in comedies. But somewhere around episode 24, I realized I had just been 2x speed going through everything for like three episodes so I dropped it.

The Story of Pearl Girl - I adore Zhao Lusi and Liu Yuning and I was so excited to see them together. But wow, this one was an absolute snoozefest. I gave it 16 episodes and I wish I had quit earlier. Uninteresting, uninspired, just a blah fest of a show.

Till the End of the Moon - this one might get me straight up assassinated because I know how much people love this show but I just could not get into it. I kept waiting and waiting to care and finally bailed after 36 episodes. The costumes were eye candy but that’s all I can say.

Destined - I wanted more Bai Jingting after watching him in Reset and New Life Begins but this drama just never grabbed me. I think I made it to episode 17 or 18 before calling it. 

In Blossom - Liu Yuexi is absolutely gorgeous in this drama but even his amazing gray streaked hair and beautifully haunted face couldn’t keep me interested in this drama after the reveal. 

Love and Redemption - another one that might get me shot for dropping because I know it’s a beloved classic. I gave it 31 episodes - more than halfway through the 59 episodes - before realizing that I hadn’t really cared all that much and watching an episode felt like a chore. I may try to pick it up again one day but life is too short and there are too many dramas to watch something I’m not vibing with.

⭐️⭐️⭐️ FINISHED AND LIKED BUT NOT LOVED The Romance of Tiger and Rose - I picked this after finishing MJTY and it was a fun little romp. Zhao Lusi is so comedically talented. But ultimately this was just a fun watch I didn’t think much of after I finished it.

Legend of Fuyao - this was a long one. It had some great moments, clearly defined arcs, and interesting characters. I finished it and enjoyed it while watching but I haven’t thought much about it since the end.

Story of Kunning Palace - I wanted to love this one. The opening scene was so fucking fire but the rest of the series didn’t really grab me. I think Zhang Linghe and Bai Lu just don’t have a believable chemistry to me. I shipped her with the princess far more.

Kill Me Love Me - This one started out like a rocket! The incredibly believable chemistry between two grown ass adults, the sex appeal, the unhinged potential. But it was a classic case of cdrama ending falling all to pieces. Too many hands in the pot lead to a WTF conclusion.

Lost You Forever 2 - Part 1 is one of my very favorites this year. But part 2 was a serious case of censorship absolutely destroying the logic of a story. I almost didn’t even finish it after what they did to CX’s character/the dream revelation but I still powered through to a thoroughly meh ending. 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ REALLY LIKED Eternal Brotherhood - it took me two tries to get into this one but I’m glad I did. The three main ML’s had such an amazing relationship and I loved the complexity of their characters and their relationships. Love of Nirvana - The way they transformed the main couple from "trying to murder you repeatedly" to "you’re the only one for me and I'll die for you" was shocking and yet it was so believable?? Stellar. People had a fit about the ending but I thought it made sense for the story and that’s all I really care about.

The Rise of Ning - Zhang Wanyi getting to show off his patented smile turning into a terrifyingly menacing murder face?? Sign me up. He and Ren Min were a delight to watch together. 

A Familiar Stranger - my first mini drama! Cheng Lei was fire. Even though it was short, it somehow packed an entire story in there. I can’t wait to check out more mini dramas.

Snowfall - where were the censors?! Did the creators of Snowfall lock them away in a basement? This drama was a fever dream of WTF and it was so enjoyable. Gao Weiguang is one fine specimen and he played an eternal vamp so well. Ouyang Nana was a star too. 

Under The Skin 2 - Though I didn’t love this season as much as the first, it was still so enjoyable to see the gang back together again. And to see just how GAY they could make it. I struggled with a lot of the logic in some places but still enjoyed the look into the darker side of Shen Yi. 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ LOVED My Journey to You - A visual fucking feast and was the most beautiful drama I’d ever seen until Fangs of Fortune (unsurprisingly also a GJM drama). I loved soft Gong Ziyu and poison baby Gong Yuanzhi.

Under The Skin - my first modern and my first cop drama. Honestly I only gave it a try because I needed more TJC after Lost You Forever. It was a great story, killer chemistry, and the art was incredible. 

The Double - a supremely satisfying revenge tale with killer performances from both leads and the main villain. Also gorgeously shot.

New Life Begins - I only checked this one out for more Bai Jingting after loving him in Reset. I’m glad I gave it a shot because even though it isn’t my normal kind of drama the cast and story were lovely and engaging. So much humor and sweetness.

The Story of Minglan - Epic. It’s a beloved classic for a reason. Minglan is a brilliant, patient, resourceful character who survives and thrives within the bounds of tough society and it’s heartbreaking and satisfying and moving throughout. It’s also like watching a play on screen because there are entire episodes that stay in one scene, with one camera. 

The Legend of Shen Li - silly, beautiful, romantic, angsty, action packed. Two grown ass humans in a gorgeous xianxia. The relationship was so satisfying to watch from beginning to end. 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️➕ ABSOLUTE FAVES THAT REWIRED MY BRAIN Reset - This show was so incredibly done. Pacing, story, characters, the actual pressure I felt as they tried to figure it all out. Bai Jingting and Zhao Jinmai were brilliant separately and together. There was a side character in this that made me cry with happy, hopeful tears and I’ll never forget him. Cat apostle, my beloved. 

Lost You Forever - It was my first time watching every single one of the leads and I fell in love with every single one of them. I was addicted so early on that it was wild. Yang Zi as Xiao Yao played a FL that is allowed to be messy and unforgiving and broken. So much trauma from every single character that made sense within the universe. My very first ot3 vibes from XY/TSJ/XL too. 

Blossom - What an unexpected story for the end of the year! Meng Ziyi and Li Yunrui as two outrageously smart, hyper competent, constantly motivated leads?? No dumb, constant misunderstandings? Acting true to their character within the universe? Just a solid plot, Song Mo’s gorgeous gray wig, romance like you wouldn’t believe, and time travel! 

Fangs of Fortune - This show. THIS FUCKING AMAZING SHOW. The trailer made it look interesting, but there is no way in hell I expected the full choke-hold this story had on me. I woke up at like 7:30 in the morning to watch the new episodes. It was a visual feast that I’m not sure will ever be topped, unless it’s by another GJM drama. And the poly vibes were glorious as were the found family moments. I also cried so much in the last few episodes that my glasses were covered in tears and I could barely breathe through my nose. Wouldn’t have missed a single moment and I can’t wait to watch it again.

Joy of Life 2 - My beloved Joy of Life. It's truly a masterpiece of storytelling and acting. It was such a long wait between 1 and 2 that I was more than a little worried it wouldn’t be able to hold up, but ohhhhh it did. Almost the entire cast was back and on their A game. The balancing act of humor and drama was so perfectly done. A good continuation of the plot plus new characters to fall in love with and shenanigans to get into. Just. I can’t actually explain in words how much I love this story. 

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTERS

Fan Xian (Zhang Ruoyun), Joy of Life 2 - my favorite drama character of all time. He is at turns irreverent and serious, funny and devastating. He is smart, thoughtful, idealistic, and traumatized and through everything he still uses his power to fight injustices. Watching him try to balance everything is heartbreaking and inspiring and just so good.

Zhao Yuanzhou (Hou Minghao), Fangs of Fortune - HMH absolutely owned this role. A tortured, ancient demon who wants nothing more than to die as an escape from his suffering and regret finds so many reasons maybe living wouldn't be too bad. His story truly broke me.

Song Mo (Li Yunrui), Blossom - From a child who escaped a terrible father and grew up with his military uncle to an unyielding and honorable adult. He took his trauma and used it to make the world better place. Righteous to the point of endangering himself and others, and willing to do whatever to protect his people and uncover the truth.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTERS

Xiao Yao (Yang Zi), Lost You Forever - She!!!! Messy, broken, at times unforgiving, fiercely loving, loyal, playful, smart. One of the most of fleshed out female leads I've found in years of watching cdramas.

Dou Zhao (Meng Ziyi), Blossom - kind, smart, savvy, resourceful, and level headed. Yeah, she had a bit of a cheat code on take 2, but she utilized it so well without it being Girl Boss unrealistic.

Sheng Minglan (Zhao Liying), The Story of Minglan - watching her grow from a child to a girl to a woman and all the struggles she had to overcome was so enjoyable. Watching her confidence grow with the MLs steadfast support for her to not be a pushover was so pleasing. The moment she stood up to her family was a scene I watched over and over again.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Almost every single fucking Cdrama dad! But especially the dad from The Rise of Ning, both leads dad’s from The Story of Minglan, and Song Mo’s dad from Blossom.

BEST BAD GUYS The Emperor (Joy of Life 2) - The Emperor's charismatic nature that we saw in S1 definitely had some obvious and brutal slips this year. Orchestrating truly baffling scenes, executing vocal opponents, encouraging infighting with his sons, and then showing his power at the flower festival. Terrifying character.

Li Lun (Fangs of Fortune) - The exact kind of bad guy I love. Yes, I get why he was upset. Does that mean he had to go down the road he did? No. And that's why it was so satisfying and moving. At the heart of it he was just a broken soul who was abandoned and it festered. His redemption was beautiful and meaningful and became the reason I mad ship ZYZ/ZYC/and him.

“ARE THE CENSORS DEAD” AWARD

Pretty much could just point at almost all of Fangs of Fortune, most of Snowfall, and good portion of Kill Me, Love Me. I hope they continue to be off chasing butterflies somewhere.

FAVORITE SHIPS

Zhao Yuanzhou x Zhou Yichen/Wen Xiao/Li Lun (Fangs of Fortune) - I know only WX and him were canon but like. We all know what was going on. You can't have someone that magnetic, gorgeous, and powerful, who has bonkers chemistry with everyone, and not ship him with everyone in different variations.

Dou Zhao x Song Mo (Blossom) - It was outrageously satisfying watching these two be at odds with each other and even more so when they finally came together. The two of them were so in sync and supportive and just down to do whatever for the other. The wedding bracelet scene was just!!!

Shen Li x Xing Zhi (The Legend of Shen Li) - Two grown ass humans who are perfectly capable on their own, but even more capable together. The tension between them and the journey to break the bindings that trapped them both was a show to behold. He happy to be bossed around by his tiny wifey was 10/10. Plus they're just so gorgeous to look at.

FAVORITE SCENES

I have no idea how I could possibly narrow this down to a reasonable number because there were so many scenes that will live in my brain rent free forever. But ones that just pop out.

Fan Xian (Joy of Life 2) - watching the censor being executed was brutal in a way that I wasn't prepared for. But just like Teng Zijing's death in S1 being super formative to FX's character arc, this pain and unfair punishment also fueled his rage and righteousness. And ZRY's control and display of his emotions is unparalleled.

Shen Li (The Legend of Shen Li) exploding into flames and fury to become the phoenix and plummeting into the ocean to defeat the villain. Holy shit, what a visual.

Xiao Yao (Lost You Forever 1) kissing Tushan Jing's scars like. It was so tender and emotional and impactful. I swooned and squealed and fell so much more in love with them.

I don't know if it's a "favorite", but it is definitely one I will never forget. The rain execution scene in Eternal Brotherhood with Di Lun and Zichuan Xiu. The devastation he felt at this moment, I FELT.

Almost every scene in Fangs of Fortune. But every time a demon died, them turning into gorgeous sparkling light was a visual I'll never get over.

BEST COSTUMING

Fangs of Fortune - the work that went into the costuming on this show is bonkers. The detailing of all the motifs for each character, the fabrics, beading, accessories. I just want to bow down to the design team for how hard they went on this drama.

FAVORITE 2024 CDRAMA SONG

Yuanzhou's Youth (Hou Minghao), Fangs of Fortune - the way this song grows and builds and showcases not only HMH's lovely voice, but the essence of ZYZ's character made it my favorite of this year. The entire soundtrack is stellar though.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Lost Your Forever 2 - Just. The It Was All A Dream bullshit made me want to throw my tv out the window. It was a no for me.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Fangs of Fortune was the biggest surprise for me for sure. But I was also pleasantly surprised by Blossom and Reset.

2024 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I still want to check out Love In The Desert, Dashing Youth, Riverside Code at Qingming Festival, and War of Faith.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Veil of Shadows, A Dream Within A Dream, Legend of the Female General, and Love of the Divine Tree. But I'm sure there will be many more!

[immortalmrwavell]

Wavell’s Vacation 1

(Original story posted August 23rd 2022) This story has received mild edits and corrections

Read the Origin of Mr Wavell here!

It’d been quite some time since I first took this body as my own and adopted the name Mr Wavell. I’ve gotta say though, with my full power finally within my grasp along with a hot dilf body to go with it, it’s easily been the best years of my life. Swapping men left and right. Transforming their bodies. Giving them the means to possess each over. I’ve made hunky dads trade bodies with their jock sons. I’ve forced skinny twinks to grow into thick hairy bears. I’ve enabled lowly workers the chance to possess or swap bodies with their powerful bosses. Even allowing women to transform themselves into hot beefy studs. And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

As much as I love my ‘job’ however, I thought it’d be good to take a short break. A holiday of sorts. You see as much as I mess around with the bodies of other men, I don’t really change my own that much. Part of that is due to the fact that I can’t transform myself without risking my health. I took this form and absorbed its mind into my own because it was compatible with my power but if I mess around with it then I fear that may no longer be the case. That said I can still possess others…

Once again however possession is a bit tricky. Not so much for me but more for the person I’m inhabiting. Most people’s bodies aren’t built to contain the insane amount of raw magical power I possess. All this means really is that I can’t be inside one body for longer than about a week. Any more and it will start to have some heavy adverse effects on my host. Because of this I don’t often bother possessing people. I liked my body after all so I don’t really feel much of a need. But I suppose if I’m going on a vacation I might as well go the full mile right?

With that in mind I’d decided to take on three different incredibly hot men for a week each.

Week 1

For my first target I wanted to go big. A man who was not only hot but also well known and beloved by many. There were a bunch of different industries that contained men like this. A big one being the TV and Film industry with all its sexy actors and another being the sports industry with its wide array of hunky athletes. After some thought I decided to go with the latter. And what better sport to cherry pick a hunky body from than good ol’ American Football. I might’ve been English myself, or at least my host was, but I could never deny myself the delight of American athletes.

Initially I considered going for someone more current who was still very active in the sport today. That is until I was hanging around and observing some football fans. They mentioned the name of a certain retired player that caught my ear immediately. Tim Tebow. Yes I’d heard of him. He was a handsome fucker if I remembered correctly. And once his name was in my head I just couldn’t get it out. That’s when I knew what body I’d be taking first.

It didn’t take long for me to find the Ex-player’s house and luckily for me he was completely home alone. I found him just outside his house talking to some neighbours. Fuck did he look delicious right now wearing that tight navy shirt and those fitted jeans. Oh I just couldn’t wait to jump inside!

I waited around for awhile until he finished talking to those neighbours. I didn’t want to make a scene after all. Not that I wasn’t tempted. Thankfully though it wasn’t long until he was waving goodbye and heading back into his own garden. Practically the second that Tim was out of sight from anyone else, I made my move.

Watching as he stretched his arms and yawned, I couldn’t help but smirk. If that wasn’t an invitation then I don’t know what was. I wasted no time diving my ghostly body head first into his open mouth. Tim’s eyes went wide as suddenly he couldn’t close his mouth while my invisible form forced itself down his throat. There was nothing he could do as my being slipped inside with ease despite his attempts to somehow stop me and pull me out. Before long the last of my form pushed its way down his throat and settled inside.

I didn’t take immediate control. Instead i left him to freak out for a moment in wonder of what the fuck had just happened. Only then did I start to flow some of my energy into his limbs starting with his legs and feet. Suddenly Tim found himself walking against his will towards his house with me as his puppet master. Due to his upper body freaking out we almost fell a few times leading to me taking control of his back as well to keep us upright.

Before long I’d managed to walk us up to his door where I took control of his right arm to let us inside. Tim began to panic more as he lost further control of his body. Soon enough we made it to his bathroom where we looked into the reflection. I took control of the rest of his torso along with his left arm and neck so I could begin flexing a little show off.

“AGHH Stop! Stop please!” Tim begged without even knowing who he was pleading to. “What’s happening to me?!” He wailed.

Just then Tim’s expression switched from worry and panic to calm and devious. “I’m taking your body for spin, that’s what’s happening.” I said using his own voice.

His face returns to its prior worried expression. “W-what! No! Why did I?… Oooooahhhh…” Tim began to groan out as I finally took control of his cock and balls, flooding them with my raw sexual energy as the bulge in our jeans grew substantially. “Noooooo… Get out of my… body!” Tim grunted as his cock began to pulse rapidly until…

“Ooh… FUUUUuuuuuuuucckkk!” I moaned out as I forced us to blow a massive load, soaking the inside of these well fitted jeans. After a short cool down, I groped my wet, sticky bulge a little before announcing “Sorry my man, no can do. For the next week I’m gonna be the new Tim Tebow..” A grin broke out across my stolen face as I claimed it. I could feel Tim panicking from within but there was nothing he could do now. I was in the driver's seat.

After that I jumped in the shower to get a proper look at the ex football player body I now owned. Tim had clearly made sure to himself in marvellous shape with these juicy pecs and sizeable arms. Can’t say I wasn’t happy to be groping it all from the inside. And all the strength it contained was exhilarating. Sure I had immense magical power but the physical power this form held was a whole different ball game.

Once I was done I stepped out, got dried and began raiding Tim’s closet. After all, as fun as it would be, I couldn't be seen wearing those cum-stained jeans. I didn’t want to completely tarnish his image after all. What would be the point in that?

After that I tried live the week to it’s fullest. I must’ve tried on almost every outfit Tim owned (which was many) and loved seeing how each item was perfectly tailored to his body. I would’ve had to use magic to resize most of this to my regular body but now it stretched over my new muscle in all the right places to show off. Of course I had fun in many other ways too though. One of which was tapping into Tim’s memories and personality to trick his family, friends and fans into believing that I really was him! Such a rush I gotta tell ya. I mean I’ve done this very thing to so many other men, allowing them to possess or switch bodies with the man they desire but doing it myself is just a different kind of pleasure.

I’ve gotta say though one of my favourite parts was sneaking out during the evening and hooking up with some hot dudes. Needless to say they were more than surprised to see the straight christian man Tim Tebow cheating on his wife for some hot gay sex but they certainly weren’t going to decline the opportunity. Had so many dudes pretty much salivating over the chance to wrap their lips around my celebrity cock or to press their faces into my jock ass. Each encounter went like a dream. For them and for me.

Unfortunately Tim’s wife did get suspicious eventually. She wondered why I wasn’t being as affectionate and why I was leaving the house so often. I was hoping I could get through the week without this but I didn’t want anyone to think something was up. And so what I ended up doing was digging into Tim’s subconscious and begrudgingly connecting myself to his heterosexuality. The second I did, I saw his wife in a whole new light.

Before long we were on the bed together, kissing and pulling off each overs clothes. Suddenly I can see why straight dudes are so fascinated with breasts, I couldn’t keep my hands off her jiggling tits. And before I knew it I’d plunged Tim’s cock into her pussy and started plowing away. I’m not gonna say it felt better than fucking a hot hairy ass but it still felt pretty damn good. I continued to fuck her like animal, making it as passionate as possible for *her sake*. What do I mean by her sake? Well during this I had a very fun idea that I was going to put into action later.

Soon enough I found myself unloading Tim’s balls inside her, filling her up in a horny haze. She looked satisfied and so was I. Once that was done I let out a sigh of relief and detached myself from Tim’s heterosexuality. Being a straight man was weird. I mean I didn’t hate it I suppose but it definitely wasn’t me. I was gay through and through and I wanted it to stay that way.

By this point I had two more days inside Tim’s flesh before I had to vacate so I was sure to make it count. Getting in as much delicious gay sex as I could inside this formerly straight christian body. I even had one guy with a fantasy of fucking me while wearing Tim’s old football gear. Thankfully he still had it stored away and it fit like a glove. Let’s just say by the end of that night there was a cock sized hole in the back of those football pants where my aching asshole had been fucked relentlessly and filled to the brim with cum.

Eventually however, my time came to an end and I had to leave this beautiful body. It was a fun ride while it lasted. I got to meet a bunch of Tim’s fans, loving how they reacted with such excitement upon seeing me. I got to live out the life of a well known celebrity. And most of all I got to pop this body’s homosexual cherry. Speaking off…

After I launched my soul back out through Tim’s mouth, I watched as he fell the ground unconscious. Of course I could’ve just left things like that but I just couldn’t help myself. I reached inside his mind and found his heterosexuality. After which I linked Tim’s mind up to a gay dude not far from here who had a bunch of Tim Tebow posters around his room. Then all I had to do was close my eyes and focus. Tim and this other miscellaneous gay man, who’s name was Nathan, had a surge of energy run through their bodies. And just like that, they had switched. Not bodies but rather they’d switched sexualities. When Tim awakens he’ll start to notice an absence of attraction to his wife and will soon start popping boners for hot dudes he sees either online or in real life. It’s certainly gonna be interesting to see if he remains faithful and tries to make it work with his wife or if he splits from her and embraces his new orientation.

On the other hand, I might have to check up on that Nathan dude at some point as well. Suddenly no longer being interested in dick and dude ass, instead finding himself with a craving for pussy and a fascination with tits. Oh I can only imagine how he’ll cope.

But for now I’m off to find my next body…

Read the Second Part here!

[ghosthoard]

grief of reunion recap!

you guys are so fucking funny thank you so much for your tags

as always i want to show how much i appreciate your tags and comments but i didn't know how without reblogging every single person and that might be excessive so this is my solution!

first of all thank you for the people who reblogged all three and left tags it's so cool seeing which ones you saw first and the comments as you went

this is going to be a bit long since i want to include everybody in some way and also what my thoughts were as i drew this series!

enjoy!

"you'll see me again"

mizaruwu said it so well! "you'll see me again" is a sweet white lie!!!

in combination with dustmold nailing it on the money!

i was really careful with how i phrased this sweet white lie

it's not: "we'll see each other again" or "I'll see you again"

For Wild, Wars, Time, and Twilight as far as they know they will never see the one they're saying farewell to ever again. so they say farewell knowing this will be the last time they see their loved one, but they're offering them a sort of comfort that the receiver of these words will see them again, it's something they would kill for personally, they think it's a gift, a comfort

but it's never so simple. because they aren't really being reunited properly are they?

THE FLOW OF TIME TRAVEL IS VERY CRUEL!!!!

NONE OF THESE PAIRS/TRIOS FULLY KNOW EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME, BUT THEY TRY THEIR BEST WITH WHAT THEY HAVE, IT SUFFERING!

perry's 3 reblog journey

perry i want you to know how much i love the faces you added at the end it gave me such a clear vision of your reactions

I LOVE HOW I DREW YOUNG TWI HE'S SO TINY HE'S SO BABY THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING IT PERRY

i like to imagine that time bonks him on the head right after this interaction and doesn't explain why

the WAR TRIO FUCKS ME UP

they can never be whole!!!

war trio

elle at it again with the amazing comments!!!

elle is right! as i was drawing wars I was thinking about how to convey that he was trying to hold it together and show the others that everybody leaving wasn't tearing him apart. he especially had to show a strong front for wind. as discussed above, elle said it perfectly, wars knows this is it for him! he'll never see his brothers again, and he it would hurt too much to hope for another chance like meeting the chain.

elle also brings up an interesting point of how wind can say the same thing to the pair of them during the war, i was thinking about that myself while i was working on this series and IT WOULD HURT SO MUCH, THE CYCLE OF SAYING FAREWELL, OF THE SWEET WHITE LIE.

but i always flip flopped on if wind would.

what do you guys think? do you think wind, twilight, or time would say something similar to their counterparts like they did to them?

mask is full on alert, he can detect danger right away, the moment they found wind he was on defensive mode, resource guarding wars

and isn't that just painfully loving, painfully sweet

what's that quote?

we are all made up of bits and pieces of those we love. (or something similar)

big brown devastating eyes

my friend suggested I draw the eyes with color! everybody say thank you spooks's Zelda Authority friend

a moment of silence for the wind stans

chiangyorange's 3 reblog journey

i'm glad i could do this to you :)

Wolf Trio

mizaruwu is so correct yet again!

while i was drawing these, i thought about how all of the wolf trio ended up saying the white lie to someone. wild is the only one who doesn’t really have the experience of teaching a protege. time and twilight however are both the liar and the lied to.

voidsshadow is so right! twi especially knows what wild is implying because he’s lived through it with time. twi and time have both been through so much and they still have things to do after death but they wouldn’t trade this time with their protege for anything no matter how imperfect the reunion is

they both must have known what their protege meant and they were prepared for it. but no amount of preparation can soften the blow.

however, they’ve both lived a long time before going back to teach their protege, their age makes the white lie more bitter and they’re more tired

wind in the meantime, had no prior time travel experience with another link, he had no preparation, he took the white lie at face value, he’s still young when he joins the war of eras, and when the reunion actually happens and he realizes his brothers don’t know him anymore, he was all the more devastated for it

cherry's 3 reblog journey

i claim all responsibility, i'm the cause, i'm the problem

violetregrets's 3 reblog journey

i love the clear descending into emotions this conveys, art in itself

(from the bottom up in these types of screenshots!)

thanks violet XD

let's have a moment for all of the ouchies, oofs, and aughs

and of course the screaming

and crying

these allegations! >:O all true :3

and lastly

this cracked me up. honestly same, fuck me up

Additional edit: I made it so that all of the lines under each post would apply to every one of them.

Your eyes do not know me as they once did.

Here I am, still missing you.

Alone, with the grief of reunion.

I had a hard time deciding not to put the last one for wind but I thought the 2nd one made more sense for him and the last one more sense for time. But again they all apply to every one. isnt that fun!

@mizaruwu @dustmold-n-dirtarchaeology @perereiii @perryelornitorrinco @elle-rosewater @1-renegade @rosescore245 @rosadon3 @the-au-collector @crazylittlejester @stqrmyskies @shadowlinktheshadow @chiangyorange @thevoidsshadow @givemeafuckingbreakorurgay @violetregrets1837 @tiredkiwilol @esthelle-wanders @telemna-hyelle @pelicanpig @layraket @i-dont-r3member @embarrassedauthornerd @multifr0g @turdofanerd @puffysleeveswithfloralpatterns @starwolfie @zolanort @cheatsylu @dragkbluire @thebackofourmind8 @jack-ofallfandoms @bbinkus11 @ahanarhorse @hero-of-the-wolf @triforce-of-mischief @twilightangel83 @clancycosmic @abir-111 @just-another-product-of-today

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

ERM LIKE IMAGINE JEFF TOBY AND SLENDERMAN WITH A ZOMBIE S/O THAT'S LIKE CLINGY N STUFF AND IS A LITTLE DIMWITTED BC THEY'RE BRAIN IS LIKE GONE N STUFF BUT THEIR RLLY SWEET (platonic or romantic u can pick)

- 🧟

Summary: Jeff, Toby and Slenderman with an S/o who is a zombie. Zombie shenanigans ensue

Genre: Silly fluff

Warnings: Mentions of body parts popping off, body decaying while still being alive(ish), zombies

Credits: Jeff the killer- Creepypasta, Ticci Toby- Creepypasta, Slenderman- Creepypasta, Lacy heart divider- kodaswrld on tumblr, Lighter divider- sister-lucifer on tumblr

A/n: ok, let me first say how much i LOVE this concept!! It's so freaking epicsauce ourghhh.....also as for the relationship i did blurred lines?? Like zombie reader just is silly, creeps dont know what they're up to

Thank you so much for requesting!

Jeff The Killer

You're his favorite person in the manor (besides Ben)

Because everyone else is either stupid or weird, and that pisses him off

But you're only stupid and weird bc most of your brain is rotted out

And that's badass

You also don't talk much, so that's a big plus

You just kinda....cling

Instead of just saying "Hi Jeff!" or maybe a "omg my most favorite person in the world who is so beautiful and could rival that of jesus himself" you just kinda squeal in excitement and cling to his arm

You drool a lot, and have a bit of a biting issue

So when you cling to him he almost always also gets a mixture of slobber and blood from your previous meal on his hoodie

He's gotten used to this, so he just continues whatever he was doing while you follow him around, still clung to his arm and bent at a 90 degree angle, giggling and biting him every now and again

I think the only quirk of yours he doesn't like is when you lick him

Because it's always a big ass stripe right up his face

Have you ever smelt rotting flesh mixed with bad breath? No? He has.

You have a good reason for doing it though!

With how often his smile re-opens, you only notice the faint smell of blood

And with your seemingly never ending hunger, and way of thriving solely on instinct, you just kinda....slurp

He does NOT like that

The only creature allowed to lick him is Smile Dog, and that's because that's his son

He takes your arms away as punishment

No arms for 30 minutes >:(

Much to your dismay, because now you cant cling to him

So you make do with gnawing at him instead

Slenderman

You like to follow him around, even when he has to work

Which if you were anyone else he might be a bit annoyed

But you are harmless, and honestly what's the worst you could do?

So he allows you to stay, because it keeps you from doing something silly like losing one of your limbs in the maze like hallways of the manor

Which has happened before

it took 4 hours to find

You like to gnaw on him as well, and it is actually your main form of communication with him since he's so tall and you can't really cling to him good

You don't get bored either, i think your brain is a little bit too rotted to become bored

So a lot of times you will just wrap around his leg and gnaw at him, humming and grunting happily while he works

Every now and then he will give you a paper he doesn't need for you to chew on instead of his expensive suit

It keeps you busy for a few minutes, but nothing is better than really expensive suits

It is very quickly into your office hang outs that he begins taking your limbs from you also

Because sometimes you like to go wander

Which is fine, but those are the only limbs they have for you

So i hope you can roll around

He'd also probably be the best non-doctor creep to put your limbs back on

He has no understanding of human anatomy, but he knows that if he gets a pop its a good sign

So even though you cant understand what im saying rn bc your brain is rotted DONT LET JEFF DO IT HE WILL SNAP YOUR ARM IN HALF

Ticci Toby

Ok so we all know this guy is a nervous wreck

Well imagine that x10 around you

His main chore when he's not working is chopping firewood for the manor

Often times, doing that takes up all day so as long as you just sit there and be good, he won't have as much nerves

But we all know that the second you see a butterfly or smth, you're off chasing after it into the woods

Cut to him tying you to the nearest tree so you cant get up and run again

Which works until your arm pops off

He doesn't even notice it at first, as he was too busy chopping the wood

But the second he does notice, he screams like a little girl

"When did that happen??!?!?" he'll say worriedly as he picks it up

He knows you are a zombie, but what he doesn't know is that your limbs are able to be put back on

Cue him freaking out bc he thought he broke you or something

So he takes you to E.J, tripping over his words as he tries to explain that he has no clue what happened and how sorry he is

And E.J just....pops it right back on

"Oh." Toby mutters

The next day he decides that chopping wood is too dangerous for you, even if you aren't the one doing the chopping

So he puts all of his hoodies on you as a make-shift bubble wrap

As well as a bunch of layers of pants

And then he ties you to the tree

Which works fine!

Until you start eating dirt

"No- Hey! Don't eat that!!"

You are just happy he is showing you some attention instead of just letting you sit there all day

[scoobydoodean]

how much do you think chuck was actually affecting the movement of the plot throughout the series?

personally, i think he was just observing them from season 6 to season 10, but then he actually had to get involved upon amara’s return. and i do like the theory that he was responsible for the “vision” that cas thought he saw from jack, and that he kinda let mary get killed after cas’s prayer in 14x17, before again becoming fully involved throughout season 15. but for the other seasons 1-5, most of 12-14, and really for the overall universe, idk how much can, or should, be ascribed to chuck’s machinations. like i can never decide which route would be most satisfying for me as a viewer, and so i’m just curious as to what your opinion might be :)

Jack visions theory

Probably helps just to say starting off for anyone who might be coming from a different perspective, that my own understanding of Chuck's machinations in Supernatural (at least when it comes to Sam, Dean, and Cas) do not involve directly violating their free will. Chuck's machinations involve shaping the experiences around our characters to convince them to make the choices Chuck wants them to make. For example, when Dean tosses the gun aside in 14.20 and refuses to kill Jack, Chuck shouts "Do it!" instead of putting some kind of mind whammy on Dean that makes him kill Jack because Chuck either can't do that or won't do it because it wouldn't get him off. Chuck needs Dean to do what Chuck wants him to do (kill Jack) because Dean was brought to a point psychologically where he chose it. The same thing is true of Sam in season 4. The demons or the angels or Chuck don't operate Sam like a robot—they slowly convince him to take one turn after another based on the psychological state he's in, the things happening around him, and the things being whispered in his ears until he's killing Lilith and Lucifer's cage is opening, and Ruby says,

No. It wasn't the blood. It was you... and your choices. I just gave you the options, and you chose the right path every time. You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo! I know it's hard to see it now... but this is a miracle. So long coming. Everything Azazel did, and Lilith did. Just to get you here. And you were the only one who could do it.

I refer to Chuck's influence on the narrative as causality rather than fate. I have a tag for this called #spn and causality. 4.18 goes to great lengths to show how difficult it can be to subvert causality. For example, Dean tries to defy the writing by moving himself and Sam to a different hotel than Chuck wrote them to be in, but the motel's neon sign goes out, causing the name of their motel to "change" to "The Red Motel"—the motel Chuck wrote. ("No matter what details you alter, we will always end up here" etc etc). However, this episode goes on to show that it is possible to leap out of causality's flow. Chuck's control of the narrative ultimately works via anticipation. If he can anticipate his creations choices, his writing realigns everything with the narrative. If they do something he is unable to anticipate? They can leap out of his narrative just long enough to make a difference.

How do they leap out of causality's flow? Two things together: Dean and Cas. Quoting myself here in this post:

Leaping out of causality is something Dean and Cas do together in 4.18, 4.22, and 5.22. In 4.18, Dean pleads with Cas to help him save Sam, even though Cas thinks what’s going to happen is fate and can’t be subverted. Cas doesn’t personally act, but he gives Dean the idea that Dean then executes, leading Chuck to say “What are you doing here? I didn’t write this.” In 4.22, Dean pleads with Cas again. They again fight about the inescapability of destiny. This time, it’s Dean’s pleading but Cas’s actions—flying Dean out of the green room (somewhere Dean is incapable of escaping from on his own). Chuck says when they pop into his house, “Wait. T-t-this isn’t supposed to happen” and then “Yeah, but you guys aren’t supposed to be there. You’re not in this story”. In 5.22, after Lucifer takes Sam over (something that was foretold to happen in Detroit), Cas and Bobby despair, but Dean refuses to give up and calls Chuck, who says, “Oh, uh, Dean. Uh, wow. I, uh, I didn’t know that you’d call.” Then Dean goes to Stull Cemetery alone. However, the moment that Michael begins to walk up on Dean and says, “You little maggot. You are no longer a part of this story!” Guess who suddenly appears with a holy oil Molotov cocktail?

Dean and Cas are something Chuck seems to have a lot of trouble anticipating. I think this is true both individually and as a unit. Individually, Dean is the narrative heart, to an extent that his capacity for love is always exceeding the bounds that Chuck anticipates, leading to confounding leaps like showing up at Stull in "Swan Song" and dropping the gun in "Moriah" and saving the world with the power of love in 11.23. Dean in turn pleads with Cas with that heart, and Cas is angel with a crack in his chassis straight of the line. Naomi/Chuck cannot get Cas to do what he's "supposed" to do no matter how many times he's reprogrammed. He has Loving Dean Winchester/Humanity (same thing) Disease and it's incurable no matter how many lobotomies are attempted.

In the season 1-5 setting, Chuck is actually fairly hands off despite all of this being his prophecy foretold. He told the archangels that everything would end with Sam and Dean as the vessels for Lucifer and Michael (5.08) and Lucifer passed these stories on to his princes, and the angels and demons brought that prophecy to fruition—including with deliberate meddling in the Winchester/Campbell bloodline (5.13, 5.14). Heaven and hell act as Chuck's hands and feet, carrying out his plan out of desire and (in some cases) religious fanaticism. Because Chuck's so painstakingly worked on this narrative and everything is set up in advance, he can just watch it play out. When he interferes directly, it's actually to give Team Free Will a better shot at subverting him. Chuck only directly interferes in

4.22/5.01 to transport Sam and Dean to the plane, un-demon blood Sam, and resurrect Cas

5.22 to resurrect Cas again

All that said, I think season 1-5 is the original Chuck canon, which is subverted by Team Free Will working together, and most specifically, by Dean and Cas interfering in ways Chuck did not anticipate. And Chuck was fine with this. His narration at the end of "Swan Song" reveals that he's pleased, even if the story turned in a direction he didn't anticipate (maybe the Michael and Lucifer story started to bore him—they bore me, and him wanting Sam and Dean to mirror them so rigidly was rather uninspired).

I get the sense that Cas is probably a good litmus test for whether Chuck's entertained or not by the story subverting his expectations, because Cas is not "supposed" to be a part of the original story, but Chuck keeps bringing him back anyway. And yet, somewhere down the road, Cas falls wildly out of favor with Chuck, and Chuck is hurling rage at him for never doing as told—the very thing he seemed to like about Cas at first.

Maybe I'll see things that will make me change my mind as I work through seasons 7-10, but so far, I agree with you that season 6-10 seems to be a mostly "hands off" period, with Chuck only arguably interfering once, to bring Cas back a third time in season 7, depending on how seriously/literally you take Daphne's recollection of events in 7.17:

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL A few months ago, she was hiking by the river, and I wandered into her path, drenched and confused, and... unclothed. I had no memory. She said... God wanted her to find me.

It's not necessarily clear exactly where Chuck loses interest (or if for example, Cas might fall out of favor with Chuck before Sam and Dean do). Chuck shows up in season 10's "Fan Fiction" to see a play of his work, so he was clearly feeling fond enough to celebrate his handiwork in an very non-prestigious but intimate setting. But when Chuck shows up in season 11's "Don't Call Me Shurley", he talks to Metatron about traveling (to his other universes, perhaps?). Chuck's writing his memoir, and Metatron claims it's full of self-doubt and nebbishness. Chuck's apathy jumps out to Metraton quick too. Metatron criticizes Chuck for writing only two paragraphs on the archangels in his memoir, lending to the notion that Chuck had come to a point where they bored him. Metraton tries to remind him that Lucifer was his favorite because he rebelled, but Chuck then denies that Lucifer was ever even his favorite! He doesn't like this rebellion thing so much anymore... which might also tip his hand as far as how he's beginning to feel about Team Free Will. I think it's likely that Amara is the catalyst for his change of heart, but I'll have to wait until I circle back to season 11 to have a fully formed conclusion on this.

Then we get seasons 12-15 where—at least arguably—Chuck begins planting the seeds for a new final ending, trying to force Dean into the role of Michael—the son so loyal to him that he killed his own brother. The problem is that Dean's never really been like Michael, and that's the whole reason season 5 never worked. It's also the reason "Moriah" doesn't work. Lilith claims in season 15 that Chuck has a creepy obsession with Dean—Dean specifically. Dean whose loyal love fills Lucifer with such seething jealousy in "Swan Song" that he loses control of Sam's body just as Dean's pleading brings Sam's consciousness to the surface to fight. That same loving heart thaws Amara toward Chuck in 11.23, and I think Chuck... decides that he does not like this. It is something beyond his capacity to express or to anticipate and write around. It is transformative, causality-defying love, that ruined his original ending (and he's BORED and TIRED). And has given Cas Winchester Derangement Syndrome so he can't be controlled. He decides that he hates Dean Winchester's heart, and he tries to obliterate it out of existence and force Dean into the Michael role once and for all.

[li-an-nie]

The origin of Isagi’s talent and a message for us (ft. Naruhaya & Kaiser)

I've been thinking about this for quite a long while... and today I finally want to share with you my theory – or rather explanation – for Isagi Yoichi's character and where his talent for adaptability comes from, as well as our own takeaways we can draw from Kaneshiro's characters.

This is a lot, but I think it shows how powerful the story of Blue Lock really can be!

Transformation

People often like to joke about Slursagi - how this ordinary guy with the seemingly most ordinariest of parents has so far spit out some of the wildest insults on the field haha. Well, sadly I don’t have an explanation for all of that, but I do have one for his incredibly fast and exponential progress in Blue Lock. I mean, we all know by now, as Naruhaya has said before and as was kinda picked up in the most recent chapters – it's his innate aptitude for adaptability, learning and change. Destroying yourself and then rebuilding your best version. Abandoning everything else and thinking of yourself as just a means to an end. While everyone else in Blue Lock had good enough soccer skills to manage just fine on their own so far, this is the method Isagi had to use in order to keep up with all the other players.

(see Ch. 53)

The question is just, where did this amazing talent come from? Is this a learned skill or a mutation, as Ego talked about? Is it nurture or nature?

If we look at it, the other guys in Blue Lock have all these sad backstories, traumas and toxic family relationships and whatnot. Yet Isagi has come so far, despite his ordinary background. Or rather... because of it. Or rather... only someone with a background like him could actually pull this off..! Why? Because Isagi has something that many of us don’t – unconditional love and support.

Again, this is just my own interpretation, but think about the term ‘destroying yourself’ first – what the hell does that even mean (if we ignore the edginess in that statement)?

(This is going to get super abstract, and even I don’t 100% know what I’m talking about, but hear me out first.)

It can mean so much – destroying your personality, your preconceptions of the world or a field, your prejudices, your obsessions, your pride, your fears, your regrets, basically anything that is capable of holding you back. Most people can’t simply do that. Naruhaya couldn’t. We all have inhibitions about certain things, no matter how hard we try, it often feels impossible to let go of certain thoughts and emotions. We're tethered to the past, afraid of losing our ‘self’ we’ve built in the process. There’s always a fear – if we fail, if we slip up, we might genuinely end up with nothing but our own ruin and failures, and that’s why we can never really go 100% of the way.

But Isagi can.

(see Ch. 55)

Origin

Isagi grew up in an ordinary household. But I'd say his family, his parents are actually far from ordinary.

We see it in the spin-off novel first, where Isagi’s incredible spatial awareness was apparent from a young age, making him very timid and much like a scaredy-cat in the beginning. But instead of scolding or condemning him, his parents always tried to understand and support him. And the same applied when Isagi first expressed his desire for a soccer ball.

(see BL Spin-Off - Isagi Yoichi Ch.2)

It doesn't matter if he's a crybaby, as long as he grows up healthy. For the first time, their timid, only son showed them what he wanted to do with his own will. That alone was enough to satisfy them completely.

With that out the way, this scene you probably remember from the manga is more than enough to illustrate everything (Ch. 152).

"You’re still our son, whether you’re special or average. What makes me happy is that you’re doing what you want, and giving your best at it."

"Whether you win or lose, no matter what… we’ll always be there for you, Yocchan."

"So live your life as you want."

Jesus Christ. If that’s not the most loving and supportive parents in the world, then what is?

Isagi’s parents have simply no expectations of him. They love and support him so unconditionally. They encourage and adore him, and they will always think of him their precious son, no matter if he wins or loses, if he chooses to live an average person’s life or risk everything to become the best striker in the world. Isagi knows this, and he grew up like this, he grew up with a certainty that no matter what you will still be loved. That’s why he can sacrifice everything of himself – because ultimately, under that everything is something that will never leave, and this certainty is what enables him to push so far in the first place. He developed a mindset that could push itself to its limits, and it directly impacted not only his life decisions but his evolution on the soccer field as well.

(see Ch. 55)

Naruhaya, on the other hand, had the same talent for adaptability, but he wasn't able to go as far as Isagi. Because unlike Isagi, there were things he had to protect, the stakes were too high – his sisters, and their precarious financial situation. Even though a dire situation like this should enable him to push himself even further, that stake is also exactly what held him back in the end. In his case, it matters so much whether he wins or loses. When it starts to matter, you ultimately become afraid of what will happen if you do lose, and for him that meant so much more than just the end of his dreams. Isn’t it natural to feel more under stress when the stakes are higher?

Opposites

So because of this foundation that Isagi has, he is different than the rest. This would kind of speak against the assumption I had at the beginning of Blue Lock, that his ordinariness is meant to represent all of us. With basically the message that anyone can evolve and transform themselves for the better, just like Isagi. But to be honest that was already thrown out of the window through the spin-off, where you see that Isagi was already gifted as a child. And I’m not even sure if this was supposed to be Kaneshiro’s intended takeaway to begin with, but there’s another way this message can fit together. The missing piece lies in Kaiser.

Because yeah, we all saw what Isagi realized in Ch. 282 was basically following the same thing Kaiser did 20 chapters before (discard everything but your original ego).

If we take into account what we know Isagi, it becomes all the more heartbreaking and ironic when we actually see Kaiser do the same type of evolution in Ch. 262 for the first time – I quote, “past achievements, pride, everything he ever won”, literally the joy he felt about becoming human, he was willing to destroy and throw it all away, he became zero, despite knowing that if he fails that’s all there would be left – zero.

(see Ch. 262)

He’s always had zero, and the soccer ball is the first thing he ever truly ‘gains’. After his career takes off, he slowly acquired more and more, fame, money, achievements, you name it. This would be the first time he possesses so much, but he doesn’t know the pain of losing something yet, because he never had anything before to begin with. Kaiser built himself a high mountain out of things he never had, but then was willing to risk the pain of losing everything and roll back down into that pit of nothing again, all for the sake of his goal. If that's not strength, then what is?

And it’s also a direct contrast to Isagi.

Isagi and Kaiser are opposites, they’re extremes coming from completely opposite worlds and family backgrounds. And yet they are also exactly the same, because they had the same strengths and resolves and were able to undergo the same kind of evolution. One has all the love and one has none of it, one never questioned being human and one never believed to be one, yet they both were able to discard everything of themselves and rebuild a better version – all for the sake of their goals.

Takeaway

So coming back to the message, how does that apply to us, the average person? Isagi and Kaiser represent a spectrum, and if you ever feel stuck somewhere in life, then remember – you are somewhere in between those two worlds. Doesn't that mean that you're capable of the same kind of change too? I also don’t think it matters whether you’re a genius or talented learner, because in real life there’s no clear line between those things anyway. Every one of us excels at something and every one of us has to learn and adapt in other areas. But what Blue Lock ultimately shows, is that no matter what background, age or ambition, in the end, the thing that can push us forward the most is our own dreams and ego. We are all capable of change.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk!

[myfictionaldreams]

REQUESTS UPDATE ღ (pls read!)

Hello, beautiful people. Firstly, thank you so much for sticking with me after my (nearly) year-long break. I don't want to go on for too long regarding why I was off; it was as simple as being burnt out from writing, wanting to read more and working full-time.

I absolutely love writing and have been doing these little fanfictions for nearly 4 years (which is crazy to me!). Over that time, I have written 175 one-shots (WTF). I honestly have put more effort and love into writing than I probably did my uni degree (no regrets).

So this is where I come from a place of peace and love and when I say I appreciate every like, comment, interaction, follow etc, it means the absolute world to me. Truthfully, it is hard to come onto a website and fear what others might say to me because I might look ungrateful.

What I'm trying to get at is that I have written 31 Poly!Marauders fics & 37 mafia!stucky fics. I love both of these worlds so much; however, I have repeatedly written these two over and over again, and at some point along the way, I've become a little burnt out with them. There are only so many ways I can write about them both. The issue is that I have my requests open, and the only requests I will receive are for either group. AGAIN, I appreciate every single one, and I absolutely love and feel honoured that you all love these small worlds I've created and want to see more. However, I'm finding it increasingly more difficult to find the motivation to write for them. This is not to say I'm never going to write for them again because that's a giant lie, I currently have 4 requests that I will write that are marauders/stucky however I just need to vent what I'm thinking.

I would love to write for different characters, more fandoms or even just one character out of the groups, just anything to mix up my content. It's difficult as I love requests, but as soon as they're open, I know I'm just going to get marauders or stucky requests, so I'm stuck in the same cycle of ONLY posting these as I like to complete requests ASAP. I could just stop accepting requests and write what I want to write, but again, I love having requests and removing that option will be a last resort.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking, and I'm not even sure that anyone who sends requests will even read this, but on my blog, I just want to vent for a moment, please. I don't know whether I'm just going to sound rude or if anyone else understands what I mean?

Anyway, again, I love you all and I do appreciate any request sent my way.

Request Rules;

Please don't hesitate to ask/message about writing different characters and shows. I'm happy to write for lots of other characters as long as I know who they are, I'm happy to try.

Please don’t ask for Part 2 of stories unless you give me specific details. I’ve written over 100 one-shots, so it’s hard to come up with an idea sometimes for Part 2’s when the stories were initially meant to just be one-shots. I’m happy to do P2; just give me a little thought or something!

Additionally, I need more than just “character name - angst”; my old creative brain needs a little more juice and idea, so please be as specific as possible, even if it’s just a sentence!

I really appreciate if you loved a specific fic that I’ve already written, but if you ask for the same fic again or something extremely similar, I probably won’t be able to write it as I don’t want to just keep writing the exact same fic.

I may not be able to write all ideas if they don’t usually match my writing style, or I do not think I could make them exciting (sorry in advance if I don’t write your ideas!)

I especially don’t want to write anything to do with marriage/weddings, pregnancy, birth or characters having children, so please do not ask.

Please don’t send multiple asks with the same request, I’m only one person working full time, so I’m not able to write every hour of every day. Give me some time to write them, and also, as stated above, it might be something I don’t necessarily want to write, so please respect this.

Sorry for all the negativity. If you have actually read this, thank you. And anyone who interacts with my posts or blog THANK YOU & I LOVE YOU.

[webco-dawnn]

Panic Attack.

HELLO!! I want to take a moment to apologize for my absence !! I got caught up in Christmas and New Years that I just didn't have enough time to get on here and write something good. But, with all the holdiays and special days out of the way, I'm free to write to my hearts content!! :)

Also, before you read this, I just want to let you know that the reason I wrote this was because I suffer from frequent anxiety/panic attacks and I guess I just wanted to feel a little reassurance through it. I also hope to bring you guys some comfort reading this. Also, this is a little bit different from my usual posts. they're usually lists of different hcs or just little scenarios. instead, this is kind of like a headcanon/fic in itself. so I hope you enjoy :)

(also this includes M!user since this is a boys volleyball team)

The sounds of volleyballs smacking against the floor echoed throughout the gym as the Inarizaki boys practiced their spikes. they were filed into two lines along with two letters to the side who would set the ball up high as the person next in line would run and spike it. then the next person would, and so on. It was their usual warm ups. stretching, practicing spikes, serves, sets, hits, etc. etc. But the captain of the volleyball team noticed something was wrong. different. missing.

"has anyone seen y/n?" kita called out to his teammates. He looked at each of them, waiting for a response. instead, every single one of them either replied with a short, "no, haven't seen him," "no," "nah," or just a shake of the head.

being the team captain, he kept his eye on his teammates. it was partially his job to count attendance. (only partially because that was the coach's job, but their coach wasn't here since this was a Saturday morning practice, which the team's coach doesn't usually attend.)

"He might've skipped," Suna suggested with a shrug.

Kita thought about it for a moment, but eventually decided on the fact that, no, you wouldn't do that.

"No, y/n's pretty passionate about volleyball. I doubt he'd skip a practice without at least messaging one of us to tell us why."

kita stared at the floor for a minute, internally debating whether he should go to the clubroom to grab his phone from his bag and either message or call y/n to ask where he was. well, that was until Osamu spoke up.

"Well, I saw 'em earl'r this mornin'," he said, his words laced with his thick accent. "Iunno where he went though." Osamu shrugged and looked up at Kita.

well, great. that didn't help one bit

"no one saw him walk away or something?" kita asked, looking around again at the boys. he was met with, yet another, disappointing shake of heads.

the captain let out a frustrated sigh. he truly cared about you. hell, he might as well have had a crush on you. he would never admit it out loud though. but he did care about you and was concerned about your absence.

"right, well, get back to practice, I'm gonna go search around and see if I can find him," he instructed his team, before turning around on his heel to go search for his missing teammate.

he immediately went to the supply closet at the corner of the gym. he felt it was the most obvious place to hide or be in if you were trying to avoid someone. he didn't know exactly if y/n was trying to avoid anyone, but he decided to check anyway. Kita opened the door to the supply closet with a short creaking noise. Light poured into the dark closet as a result of opening the door and Kita could see y/n sitting down near the corner of the closet. A soft, confused frown made its way to Kita's face at the sight. He cautiously walked over, not wanting to alarm you or scare you in any way. "Are you alright?" Kita whispered in a soft, quiet tone. The sudden voice was enough to make you flinch, immediately whipping your head up to look at the source of the noise. When you realized it was Kita, your captain, you somewhat relaxed, body less tense now. Kita kneeled down next to you, trying to get a good look at your face. He could see the tear stains runnning down your cheeks, the way your eyes were red and the skin around it puffy and raw from wiping your eyes. You soon realized you hadn't given Kita an answer to his question before, so you murmur out an, "not really." Kit anods at the answer, not really knowing how else to react. He takes a minute to fully sit down next to you. He isn't sure what's wrong, but from the tears and the quiet, but heavy breathing, he couldn't help but to put two and two together and figure out you were currently experiencing a panic attack. Kita himself has had panic attacks in the past and he knows what works for him, but everyone's different. What usually works for him might not work for you. So he decides to stay cautious. He hesitantly places a hand on your shoulder, scanning your face or body language to see if you were uncomfortable or not. You weren't uncomfortable. Far from it, actually. So he took it as a sign to go a bit further by gently rubbing the palm of his hand up and down your back. "it's gonna be okay," he murmured quietly. He carefully squeezed your shoulder and flashed a warm smile at you. Kita was always optimistic. He was always looking at the bright side. You couldn't help yourself and let a small smile lay on your lips at his reassurance. "We can stay in here for as long as you want." Kita had no idea if isolating yourself into a small, dark supply closet usually helped with your panic attacks, or if you were just hiding away from everyone because you didn't want anyone to see you in this state, but he still offered to stay in there with you because he thought it might be a little more comfortable for you.

[nomsfaultau]

Philza got him this time. That in itself was a relief, despite the vise grip locked on his wrist verging on painful. Still the only thing hurting was his long dead heart. Could’ve been worse, like his legs getting broken. Again. At the very worst, Philza would be annoyed. That didn’t mean much though, same as it ever was. The cycle of trapped-freedom-hunted-caught grew almost mundane. Only thing that changed was his waning hope, even if his determination was steadfast.

But when he was escorted to his room, Tubbo was waiting there, bright eyed and unaware anything is wrong. Harder to escape with a weak, slow human. But Tommy grit his fangs. He’d do it. If anything his determination had grown. 

But harder, too, when he realized he was confined to his room and didn’t have access to the manor anymore. Harder, when the days wore on and the vampires never visited and Tommy finally, finally realized their true plan as the blood thirst built inside him. Harder to escape with the newly reborn fledgling of an already weak sire. With Tommy’s one reason to fight folded neatly into their coven, why should he resist any longer? He’d have everything he wanted right here. He could hear Philza’s smirking logic, and hated the fact he might just be right. But the fact they thought they could force him to attack Tubbo -the fact part of him wanted to, some disgusting possessive instinct promising he could keep his Tubbo forever- only further fueled his determination to not turn Tubbo.

Or…harder to escape when Tubbo was dead. What need would he have to escape, once his world was gone? And as days passed and his self control eroded, the later became all the more likely because if Tommy started to drink now, he might not stop until Tubbo was completely drained. 

It was okay at first. He’d missed Tubbo so so much. They talked until their voices were hoarse, first Tommy explaining everything happening, then all his escape attempts, then anything and everything because he finally had his best friend back. He felt better than he had in weeks just because someone else was there to confirm that everything happening was messed up, and cheer him on for his clever and daring escape attempts instead of chiding or attacking him. Brilliant, Tubbo called him. It helped, since for so long he only felt weak and stupid and pathetic and Tubbo was incapable of seeing him like that.

But then he started needing the conversation for a different reason, as he began to sharply remember how long it’d been since he last fed. And to be fair Tubbo needed it too, he wasn’t getting fed either. Still. The scent of his exhales was starting to make Tommy’s mouth water. Tommy hadn’t even been aware he could smell carbon dioxide. 

And suddenly he had to question his own motives. Because he’d been close, real close to Tubbo the last few days, the pair lacking any personal space. And sure he’d missed his best friend, but was that clingy…or carnivorous? Tommy untangled himself slowly. He felt cold almost immediately with no body heat of his own. He picked the furthest corner of the room. Tubbo followed immediately, because of course he did. 

“Don’t.” Tubbo hummed a questioning note, head canted. Tommy bit his tongue, then winced as a fang punctured through. Old blood filled his mouth. He really, really didn’t want to spell it out. “I’m getting hungry, big man,” Tommy explained quietly, roughly. 

“Oh. Well- we don’t have food, but at least we have blood,” Tubbo offered casually. 

“I’m not- great. About stopping.” He’d probably end up killing Tubbo. Or worse. 

Tubbo frowned in thought, as if he could logic a solution out of something impossible. “What if I bleed into a cup, to control the amount?”

The thought made him dizzy with thirst. Tommy squeezed his eyes shut against the vision. “That- that wouldn’t work. Don’t. Cause then you’d have an open wound, and I wouldn’t be able to- no.”

Tubbo didn’t like that answer, because of course he didn’t want to watch his friend suffer. But Tommy didn’t want to murder his friend even more, and won that contest of wills. “Fine. How can I help, then?”

“I guess…try not to get hurt. No stunts. Or paper cuts. Or bruises. Just- sit still and try to stop looking delicious.”

Tubbo threw up his hands in exacerbation. “I can’t! I’m a certified snack!”

They could laugh then, in the light of day. And it was so bad when Tubbo was awake and laughing. But Tommy didn’t really sleep as much as a human did anymore. The hunger was sharper at night, acutely aware this was when he was meant to be hunting. The hours dragged a long, long time without anything to distract him from the bloodthirst, save watching the slow rise and fall of Tubbo’s breathing. It was a rhythm burned into his new nocturnal predator instincts. Each inhale replenished sweet oxygen into fresh blood in a way a breathless vampire could only steal. Tommy was running out of blood fast, starting to suffocate on it. Breath pooled around the still Tubbo, building up to overwhelm his senses in honeysweet nectar. 

And Tubbo just seemed to glow in the night. The soft citrus radiation of thermal energy radiating off him in resplendent infrared curls. Like a drop of sunlight in the depths of midnight, mesmerizing for how long it’d been since Tommy saw the sun for the last time. 

He had uncurled without awareness, catching himself already half crawling closer. Embarrassed, Tommy rose. Silently, of course. He wouldn’t want to interrupt his slumber. Steps so light they scarcely registered noise to his advanced hearing, avoiding the patches of the floor where moonlight crept across. Tommy paused at the foot of the bed, lingering. 

Tubbo. His best friend in the whole world. The sound of his heart beat was so comforting after the uneasy silence of his own chest. He missed Tubbo’s hugs so much, so warm and right unlike the cold prison of his coven. It hurt to hold a distance. Unnatural for the two to be separate. The scent of Tubbo’s breath was intoxicating. Like spring incarnate, luring him closer, closer. That was his friend. His mate. He’d always help Tommy any way he could. 

The bed creaked softly as Tommy’s knee sunk into it. When Tubbo shifted in slumber, Tommy froze, carefully watching. Minutes dragged on without response, heart so steady and familiar, divine waves of carbon dioxide washing over. As if it were an invitation, Tommy advanced crawling across the bed in lurches, carefully stunted to Tubbo’s every shift. The slightest indication, and he tensed, coiled to pounce.

It was a careful balance, intuitive even to a fledgling. The moment prey’s sympathetic nervous system activated, oxygen would flood its body. Slow respiration was alluring, but it was hyperventilation that really drove vampires into a frenzy, since it maximized time before they needed to feed again. But take too long, and that precious oxygenated blood would be wasted in its intended purpose of fueling the flight or fight response. 

The prey was far too deep into slumber. Carefully, slowly, the fledgling came to loom over. Though ravenous enough to feed regardless of its slumber, the evolutionary pressure weighed down in sharp instinct. An involuntary feeding hiss poured from his throat as his fangs bared, the prey stirring as atavistic alarm bells began to ring in the back of its mind. The fledgling seized its wrists, pinning down so it wouldn’t struggle and waste precious oxygen. At the first hitching gasp as it jolted awake, his pupils thinned to slits. 

“Tommy..?” 

It was agonizing to wait. And then he heard it, the first melodic notes of a heart slamming into over drive, fear filling the air.

“TOMMY!”

The fledgeling snarled, forcing the prey still. So easy to overpower the bucking of a human. Slow, it was meant to be slow, the fear rolled off it in waves building up fresher, sweeter blood. But impatient as he was, the fledgeling seized his prey’s jaw, slamming the head to the side to expose its neck. Its chest heaved as hyperventilation kicked in. Good enough, he decided, though Sire would chide him for not giving more time for the fear to set in, but he was so, so ravenous. Jaw open wide, wider-

“TOMMY ONE OF THEM’S ATTACKING! HELP!”

The fledgling knew no other name for himself but hunger. But his best friend calling for help woke an even deeper instinct inside him, far older than the new parasitic ones hijacking his biology.

How harrowing, to stare into the terror of his best friend’s eyes and know he put it there. 

Tommy scrambled away, pitching off the bed to fall into a heap of limbs. Something in him snarled, he needed to feed, needed to, need-

Bristling fangs snapped shut on his own wrist. Tommy closed his eyes, drinking deeply. It felt like suffocating, if he were honest. Maybe he wanted it to. But it felt enough like feeding to satisfy his bloodthirst for now, even if he knew it’d be back with a vengeance. 

“TOMMY! TOMMY HELP I DONT KNOW WHERE HE WENT. I CAN’T- HELP ME!” Tubbo screamed. 

His human vision had lost of the monster in the dark, fear spiking in tumultuous waves. But immediately he caught the glow of Tommy’s eyes once they opened. 

And suddenly he was staring down the sharpened end of the stake in the hands of his best friend.

“Heyyyy big man,” Tommy rasped. Tubbo immediately slumped with relief in a way that made Tommy feel so much worse. 

“I can’t see nothing, where’d he go? Is it safe?” Apparently, the only thing worse than your best friend realizing you’d tried to kill him, was your best friend not realizing you’d tried to kill him. 

“He’s-“ Tommy’s voice cracked. “He’s right here, Tubs. No one else. There’s never been anyone else.” 

The stake in Tubbo’s hands hesitated, and lowered. It should’ve never stopped pointing at Tommy’s dead heart. 

I had a dream about vampire dark sbi, where Tommy was turned into a fledgling against his will and was desperate to escape. His coven had other ideas however, and so Tommy was constantly getting hunted down by Philza, Techno, and the Jawless One.

oh. Were you you expecting Wilbur? No that dude is problematic, and my dream presented the ideal solution: replacing him with a monster made of long mangled limbs and a ripped off jaw that dangles on a thread of viscera. So I’m just sayin, here’s how 4/4 can still work-

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[cindersnows]

agreed with flareboi your honor hes just a silly. but also

dark from creation was just a tool for alan. he was never afforded his own identity, he existed just to do alan's dirty work; kill chosen. and he did fairly well! he worked with the other apps properly, he went out of his way not to destroy anything unnecessarily, and it was only when tco blew up minesweeper that he lost at all. tdl wasnt destructive until he started working with tco.

he was convinced chosen would kill him, but they didnt. and he realised that the very person he was made to kill was giving him more sympathy than the one who made him, the one who he was defending with his life. so of course he'd choose the person who actually cared about him.

it was only after joining with tco did tdl get as destructive as he is, because he was just following tco's lead. tco was destructive from the start; tdl only started being so reckless because he felt that was what he had to do based on tco's example.

this extended to the attacks on the internet. tco and tdl eagerly blow up anything in their way, and even if tco was simply hurting the dangerous things (as a chosen one would be expected to do), that doesn't change the fact that they're hurting people.

(i have a few things to say about the "tco only attacked things they thought were bad" theory, which i personally agree with but still judge tco for because i dont think anyone should get to decide who's "bad" and who's "good".)

ok so just a disclaimer; i know you said dark defenders but i need to make it clear that i don't think dark didn't do anything wrong, i just think he's not beyond redemption.

tdl's faults come to light when he doesn't stop to see the harm he's doing to other sticks. obviously, harming anyone is bad, but dark joyfully destroys the homes of other stickfigures, beings just like him, and isnt shown to feel any regret. this is what marks the start of him and chosen growing apart.

i think it's safe to presume that between 2011 and 2018, chodark don't go on any rampages/attacks at all, since the newgrounds attack is shown to be the end of their destruction in the flashback. during this time, dark learns how to code and build robots (a very useful and constructive hobby!), deepens his bond with chosen, and makes some sort of plan for destruction. if chosen attempts to communicate their guilt or tell dark that killing sticks is Bad actually, it's not shown, and that would be a fairly important development in showing dark's character, so i think it's safe to assume chosen didn't do anything like that.

i think the flashback and the showdown make it clear that chosen and dark are both spectacularly terrible at sharing their feelings. dark clearly made the virabots as some sort of gift to chosen, a way to purge the internet of the humans that hurt chosen (and him) for so long. we can extrapolate this from the fact that all the websites dark attempted to send the virabots to near the end of showdown are social media commonly frequented by humans. he doesn't attack scratch, or newgrounds again, or flipnote hatena. it's limited to places like twitter and discord.

chosen, on the other hand, assumes that dark intends to use the virabots to kill sticks exclusively. but many fans take this assumption to be reality; we have to remember that this was chosen catastrophizing, and entirely their own imagination.

now, dark did go and kill all of the cg without any remorse whatsoever. in his eyes, he was just killing the kids getting in the way of his goal; kids working alongside alan. it's not difficult to assume that dark still hates alan for what he did to him and chosen, and has been plotting a revenge for years, the same way victim has been doing from 2018 to 2023. it might just be me but i feel like the fandom gives victim a lot more sympathy than dark, and did so even before ava 11, even though victim is shown to be just as brutal and tunnel-visioned towards revenge as dark is. if we got a dark backstory episode explaining his point of view, i wouldn't be surprised if people started defending him more too.

there's a lot more i could say; like for example in showdown chosen was the one betraying dark, not the other way around, or how dark could understand that what he did was wrong if he was exposed to literally anyone other than the one person who taught him destruction and then felt too scared to tell him they were wrong, but this is long already and i'm in school

so that's why vriska i mean the dark lord did nothing wrong

A message to all Dark Lord defenders

As someone who is vehemently against the idea that Dark is in any way sympathetic, I invite you to try and change my mind, I want to have a conversation with you all, because I genuinely think it's interesting that so many can look at a character who I think is a completely irredeemable asshole and see something more charitable.

So go on Dark defenders, go wild, explain all of your arguments and I will do my best to argue against them (or, maybe even agree with them if I think they make sense.