#i once hanged put with a group where they didnt even chat with each other together it was like 6 people just going 1 on 1

[andrewknightley]

Have you ever hanged out with a group of friends that is not Your group of friends and think "wow these people suck at being a group and pals with each other" and months later you hear the group disolved and dont hang out together anymore and is like. Oh wow who would had thought.

[the-faceless-bride]

Love me? Love me not? Pt2.

<- Part 1

You couldn't do this... You slightly push Michael away, you couldn't do this to them... Even though they drove you crazy and scrambled your head sometimes...

You really did care for them... Even if you really didn't know if they cared about you...

Loved you...

Micheal did push you as to what was wrong, as he could tell from your face you had become uncomfortable and he didn't want to make you anymore upset.

You both just laid next to each other slowly falling asleep before Michael pulls the blanket above you and sneaks out before anyone could see him.

The day went by quickly, all you could think about were your boys... Your?

You walked along the boardwalk keeping an eye out for a particular group of three blondes and a brunette but... To no avail.

That was until you felt a hand grab your hip, at first you felt a bit relieved thinking it was Paul as that was where he normally grabbed you... But that relief quickly died as you turned around to find a surf-Nazi standing there instead.

You try to pull away, disgusted but he just puts another hand and laughs.

"What's wrong babe? You didnt seem upset a second ago~" he teased squeezing your hips, this wasn't a good idea...

You should've just stayed home and waited for the boys like most nights nowadays, why did you have to go looking for trouble?

He tried pulling you closer causing you to let out a yelp of fear and anger, but the guy was quickly pushed off by a very pissed-off Paul...

"Look, she clearly isn't into you dude! So fuck off man!" Paul yelled, his face saying everything this guy needed to know if he didn't move his ass now and get away from you.

After the guy took off you turned to Paul... But he wasn't smiling at you like he normally would.

That made you worry...

"Thanks, Paulie." You thanked him, but Paul slightly flinched at the sweet nickname.

You tilted your head, what was wrong?

He didn't even say anything to you, he just started walking away...

You followed him, confused as to why your usually bright and chatty Paul was quiet and distant...

You had been going on for what felt like hours before you couldn't take it any more...

"Paul! Why aren't you talking to me?! What's your damage?"

That made Paul snap his head towards you.

"My damage? My Damage? What the hell do you mean what's my damage?! What the hell is your damage?!" Paul asks fully turning his body to you getting so close his body pressed against yours.

"My Damage?" You ask even more confused than you were,

"Yeah! Your damage! Did you really think we wouldn't know?! That we wouldn't find out?!"

Your heart stopped...

Had they figured out your feelings for them?

That you were in love?...

Love was off limits with them, it was an unspoken rule between you all when this all first started.

You and the boys sneaking around, the quickies in the back alley, the make-out sessions with Dwayne in the cave, Marko having you lay in clothing but something he had made as inspiration for something he wanted to make, it always ended with his head between your legs...

They were mad at you...

You had broken the one rule...

"I... I- I'm sorry" you said, you didn't want your stupid human emotions to get in the way of all the fun you had, "I... I was hoping that if you found out... Maybe we would still hang out... Like normal y'know, I was hoping it wouldn't change."

Paul huffed "yeah? Well, it's changed. So tuff luck babe..." You felt your lips tremble before your attention was taken by roaring bikes.

The other two blondes and the brunette vampires in a line looking at you and Paul,

"What do we have hear?" David asks Paul who stares at you before shrugging, "just a chat with an old friend." He brushes you off before walking over to the group.

You hadn't noticed how they had been there listening...

Paul hopped on his bike before looking at Marko, who hadn't taken his eyes off you once, not even to blink.

You didn't know what to say... But anything you would've said died on your tongue as a tall, pretty girl with long curly hair, and beautiful clear tanned skin walked over to the boys asking if they were "ready to go?"

She took hold of David's shoulder before sitting her behind him, his hand lingering on hers for a bit too long.

She was sitting in your usual spot...

It wasn't until now that she noticed you, and you both asked the same question,

"Who's she?"

"Who is she?"

And David only said one word as he looked at his boys; Dwayne was stone-faced, Paul looked like a kicked puppy, and a slow but vengeful smirk formed on Marko's face...

"Nobody."

Whether he was answering your question of hers... You didn't know.

They had left you there, lips quivering and eyes drippy with fresh salty tears, and while it pained them to see you in pain... You had no one to blame but yourself...

The boys had Star leave to her little place in the cave, not bothering to answer any of her questions.

Paul and Marko held each other as Marko's tears hit Paul's neck, neither acknowledge it just hold each other closer in hopes of feeling comfort...

Dwayne sat in silence with David...

Why did you have to sleep with that guy?...

Why did you make them fall for you?...

Why did you make them feel so afraid of losing you?

Why did you make that fear come true?

... Why did you go and break their hearts?

...

Why?

Part 3 ->

@thelostboysbutterfly @thelostone91 @charlizekkelly @star583 @poketnife69 @pinkchocolatcat

@p1×1ebby

@yor72

@mushrooms444

@bespinnn

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

[cherrytsukkis]

streaming minecraft with the first years

- word count: 1.4k

- characters: hinata, kageyama, tsukishima, yamaguchi, yachi

- a/n: i made half of this on mobile and half on my laptop so,,, also i got way too immersed in this bc all i do is play minecraft (even tho i suck) anyways, enjoy this mess!! also ty to ppl on the rircus rerver for helping me with minecraft usernames!!

tsukishima made a server for y'all after you bribed him (also some of his viewers begged him to)

kageyama and hinata teamed up and killed tsukishima, not even a minute in

and you were just there like “:o chat yall seeing this shit”

yall spawned in near a birch flower forest biome thingy and you and yachi bolted over there

you asked yachi to be your minecraft gf and she accepted

as soon as she said yes, kageyama and hinata killed tsukki again lmao

you and yachi moved to a different voice call bc hinata kept screaming about how tsukki was after him now

you guys began planning on having a cute little cottage core home together

you go mining while yachi makes a farm + gathers animals

yachi screamed of joy when she found a chicken family

she also screamed when she happened to find a pink sheep

you guys are just talking about random stuff and were just vibing for the rest of the stream

the next time you stream on the server, you see that yams made a cute little spawn place and yams took you on an adventure to go see his home in the snowy mountains

tsukki logged on and you and yams proceeded to go try to find his home despite tsukki tell you to fuck off

for some reason, he starts giving you guys clues on where he’s at

you’re all like “omg friendship 🥰″

but in reality, someone donated like 50 bucks for him to kill you and he’s taking this opportunity to lure you guys

 it turns night really fast and then a group of zombies gang up on you

you end up dying like four times before you baby rage and give up 

you leave the voice chat and go back to being a wee farmer waiting for your lover, yachi, to log on

instead of yachi, you get hinata </3

hinata logs on and he immediately calls you

“hinata-”

“y/n!!! do you wanna go to the nether with me!!”

“no ❤️″

you hang up but then he calls you again

“i’ll give you a two pigs, i know you and yachi are looking for some”

thirty minutes later, hinata has gotten you lost in a soul sand biome

only plus from this trip is that you got a lot of glowstone

you ended up having to call kageyama and ask him to come save you bc yams was mining god knows where and tsukishima would never help you bc he’s a bully <3

kageyama was calling both of you dumbasses in the vc

hinata bc hinata is hinata and you for following hinata blindly

then he got lost somewhere else in the nether <3

and now the three of you were fighting as you ran away from ghasts and skele bois

“it’s the short height for me”

“it’s the abandonment issues for me”

“it’s the need to one up each other in every situation because y’all insecure for me”

this whole time your chats were telling yall to just look at coords so you could find each other but you guys are illiterate </3

yachi finally logged on and joined your call and she saved yall bc she was watching your stream this whole time and was like wtf

the vc was SILENT as yachi led y’all to the nether portal

you muted yourself in shame and starting thanking recent subs and just the chat in general

everyone in chat: ugh we stan a dumb queen 🤩

another time you go on the server, hinata has accidentally started a war against tsukishima and so like every five minutes you would see smth like “tinysun was blown up by moonshima” or “moonshima was shot by tinysun using schlong” (yes hinata is that guy)

speaking of names

yall clown kageyama every five seconds bc he made his ign ‘Setter_soul_x’ (bc his streamer name was taken </3)

he gets pissed off a lot and leaves the server bc everytime you guys start a fight, someone will be like “okay Setter_soul_x”

yachi has “yacchan” meanwhile yams had “yamagucci” and you can can decide whether you have a clapped ign or not

now to just talk about general stuff

i feel like yams and tsukki would be those bitches who make exp farms and shit

like one day you’ll log on and you’ll ask them where they’re at and they’ll be like “oh we’re making an enderman farm in the end” or “we just finished a villager breeder” or some shit like that

yachi would stick to farming and being a cottagecore gay and you would be the one to do most of the mining and shit

sometimes she’d follow you when you go to fight someone or just bother them

hinata made a giant netherrack meatball at spawn and inside of it is just pure hell

everytime someone tries to go in it, they get blown up by a creeper or smth bc its so fucking dark in there bc the dumbass forgot to put some type of light source in there

kageyama’s house is just a cube-shaped hole he mined somewhere and everytime he wants more space he’ll just expand the cube

you and tsukki end up teaming up together at one point and made a railroad to everyone’s homes and to different biomes

when everyone fought the wither, tsukki, yamaguchi, and hinata did most of the work you and kageyama were far away watching like “damn thats crazy” (yachi wasnt streaming at the time and just told you guys she didnt care if you did it without her)

when it was time for the ender dragon, it was a whole different story

tsukishima and yamaguchi were hella prepared and were calmly going around destroying the end crystals while you, hinata and kageyama were just trying to get away from all the angry endermen

yachi was just placing water down and making cobblestone huts y’all could hide under

once tsukki and yams finished destroying the end crystals, you joined them in shooting down the ender dragon

kags and hinata were still fighting endermen 

like all you’d see is “ __ was slained by Enderman” messages as you listened to tsukki and yams talk to each other calmly

yachi said she wasnt fighting no dragon bc fuck that shit

one y’all did kill the dragon, hinata tried to claim the dragon egg and tsukishima yelled at him for like ten minutes bc hinata didnt do shit

and while tsukki fought with hinata and kageyama, you and yachi followed yamaguchi into an end gateway

you found an end city but then you fell outta the world </3 dont ask how, you just did

you decided to log off and that was that

another time you logged on, tsukki invited you to go with him to a woodland mansion bc he got a map

you thought he was being fishy but you went anyways bc content

everything was going well, you guys traveled there together, found a desert temple along the way, you tamed a cat, tsukki talked about conspiracy theories with you

but then you got to the mansion and you lost him

you were like tsukki where tf you’d go and he would tell you a place and you would go and he wasnt there

you were about to cry bc so many mobs were after you and u just boxed yourself into a little dirt hut in the corner and you kept yelling at tsukki in vc

he muted himself bc he was laughing his ass off at your pain heart been broke so many times

he finally came to get you bc apparently he already moved upstairs and just as you calmed down, tsukki betrayed you

you walked in front of him in fear of mobs hitting you from behind but tsukki ended up hitting you with a sword to death </3

you immediately logged off and then cried to your stream about fake friends for like ten minutes while listening to the inside out soundtrack

your chat convinced you to log back on and hesitantly joined the vc again and tsukishima apologized while trying to hold back laughter and told you that he put your stuff in your chest and you were like 🥺🥺🥺

overall the server is very chaotic but kinda nice bc family bonding ❤️ and even tho tsukki is a dick he along, with yams, help you and yachi out sometimes so your cottagecore aesthetic thrived

UNEDITED.

tag list: @kaoyuuuuu​ @macaronnv < it wont let me tag you :((

[sp00kybitme]

Okay so this is really personal but I feel like I need to share it in order to better my health because being upfront about your trauma is a good way to heal from it. So buckle up because this post is gonna be a real doozy:

So let's start by backing up about 4 years ago in the summer of 2017, I was 17 since my birthday follows the year number and I was going through my own personal turmoil, dealing with my already medically diagnosed PTSD, OCD, Anxiety disorder, and severe depression. I had falling outs with most all of my irl friends due to my declining mental health but the decline started around august as my therapist who worked the best for me was leaving the clinic. She was openly queer and I related a lot to her since I felt like for once I wasn't alone yet after she left I was distraught. Also at the time I had a falling out with my father and my brother was a recovering drug addict so you could say shit was really complicated around that time and my head space was not well.

So back in 2016 I was able to get a PS4 and I hadn't used it until 2017 due to being more focused on my mental health but I caved and began playing Overwatch and there I met some folks who made life seem somewhat normal for once, no high end conflict, no drama, just simple fun with friends is all I wanted and for a while I actually had that! That was until the coming month september.

So September was when I started breaking off from big friend groups and settled with 2 people, let's call them Z and J for context, So Z was someone who I would say had undiagnosed mental health issues and J was someone who was mutual friends with Z because they went to high school together. Z and J were some of my only friends and we as people really bonded over stuff and I felt like life was actually turning up after losing so much shit that year.

So just for preface/context: at this time I identified with she/her pronouns and went by the term pansexual/demiromantic but now after much time I identify with they/them pronouns and am at least asexual, as for romantic I'm still figuring that out. So November rolled around and I noticed conflict immediately, Z and J were subtly arguing and J was using a victim complex mentality to guilt Z into caving yet at the time I was an oblivious 17 year old who was just desperate was friendship to the point of trying to always be a mediator.

Z was always talking about how lonely they were and how every relationship they had never worked out and at the time I was not out about not being cisgender and so they perceived me as a girl. Throughout September to november they would CONSTANTLY ask me out to the point of it being a desperation and a guilt trip and at this point I was afraid. I had lost EVERYONE in my life here and it was so frustrating but for a month I would keep my boundaries up and say no because I genuinely wasn't interested in a relationship and I didnt feel taht way about Z but they continued to push me and eventually I gave in and I remember the exact place it happened.

So we all 3 had a daily routine of getting on and playing Overwatch for hours just to talk shit and goof around so that day we were skirmishing on the "Temple of anubis" map and I said yes and in retrospect it was a horrible time to do that because it was in front of J and in turn made them feel loke a 3rd wheel. I wanna say that me conceding into a relationship while having no attractiom or interest was wrong of me and that I apologize for but again I WAS pressured as a minor. Also I forgot to say that Z was 19 and while that kind of age gap isn't inherently the worst, I was still an emotionally vulnerable minor being coaxed into a relationship.

So things went on relatively the same except for the fact that J was beginning to sound more spiteful and ended up getting upset easier and volatile which I blamed myself for but we'll get more into J very soon. So Z and I were noticing the change in behavior but tried not to bother J with it because they always didn't wanna talk about it. J confided in us at one point by telling us about their living situation being troublesome, they claimed they had no privacy, were verbally abused by their mother, and had relatives who were also abusive. We both had empathy for J and I was strongly affected by that since I had a strong disconnect from my father at the time who was abusive in a religious way.

We tried to keep things relatively normal at this point for the sake of J but Z was always trying to be bluntly romantic with me and I wasn't interested although they did ask me for "thigh pics" (lemme preface by saying I was still a minor at this point) but I was coaxed into that and virtual s*x which I was extremely uncomfortable with but Z had a strong tendency to victimize and guilt trip and I just wanted friends and had PTSD from friends levaing me and calling me selfish. It's not something I'm proud of but I genuinely was THAT scared of losing friends. In instances where J would get spiteful and resent Z, J at one point left our group chat and group and didnt reply to us because they attempted s*icide. We were HORRIFIED to find that out and really tried to keep a close eye on J into the new year.

2018 rolls in and now is the year that I consider my worst, I will TW// onward for talks of verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, talks of s*xual assault, s*icide, homophobia, and gaslighting. So after J's s*icide attempt I felt even WORSE in a relationship that itself was already one sided but I powered through as to not upset Z. The friendship dynamic we had at this point was gone as it only seemed to be arguing and fake excitement. One thing we all did in the game was idolize specific characters and obsess over them for mental comfort to the point that we got emotionally distraught over their deaths in game, genuinely very unhealthy for all of us. One thing J would do at times was purposefully pick me and Z's characters in game in commit s*icide in game with them just to upset us and would sometimes mentally torture Z by forcing them to be the character Z hated which only screwed up Z's Mental health. J would also alwsys victimize and act like they weren't being treated fairly and that all culminated in January.

January 2018, J began putting the thought of a polyamorus relationship on the table as in J, Z, and I would all be in a relationship together which I wasn't too keen on but was open to if it made everyone happy. Z wasnt interested at all and for the span of 2 weeks of January, J kept trying to manipulate and coax Z into a relationship and had me try to convince Z as well which I didn't know was wrong but granted I didn't understand Poly relationships until years later. Z eventually half caved and gave it a try but a day later Z backed out because they felt uncomfortable. I was a bit irritated at that time and so was J but I didn't personally know why because I was very oblivious to love and how it was supposed to be. We also would play 1v1 type games for fun until this time because both of them were seriously bothered by losing in 1v1 games and would gloat when they won. I personally didn't care as much and would joke around for the most part just to have fun. After this month we stopped playing 1v1 type games.

Early February came and we all began hanging out in skirmish (which means like a map where you just freeroam for 30 minutes until it refreshes), sometimes we would do ship dynamics with each other for fun and at the time we were joking around. Me and J joked around about two male characters (Junkrat and Roadhog) being together and if you have seen the two characters then you'll know why. Their dynamic as friends is flawed but a popular one yet nonetheless I liked their dynamic as a relationship at the time. Around this time, Z was beginning to do what I would call "selective homophobia" as in they would like some gay ships and despise others. When Z was presented with a WLW (lesbian) ship, they would be 100% supportive yet when a specific MLM (gay) ship was presented, they would make gagging noises as if they were trying to throw up. I should also mention how often Z would send Overwatch porn to group chats and how it made me incredibly uncomfortable, especially as a minor.

J would ultimately hold the blatant homophobia against Z and tried to turn me again Z for it. During this time, J was messaging me privately to try and convince me that Z was a bad person and that I should break up with them. Ultimately I agreed and broke up with Z over this and me and J distanced myself from Z to just hang out together. I was personally distraught in just finding out that a friend I was close to ended up being Homophobic all this time and emotionally it broke me a lot. At the time, J was there to help me emotionally and that initially helped me build trust with them. Eventually in mid February they asked me out and since they had helped me so much mentally, I felt out of a sense of obligation that being with them was something I almost owed them.

Side note: I wanna bring up this point as just a weird coincidence: February itself has always been one of the worst months for me every year, something horrendous has happened to me each February of each year and its weird because of how often I can recall this still being the case.

So After being around J for so long we started to just joke around and have fun as friends. They actually showed me their face for the first time over a video call which actually surprised me because they looked different then I thought they were but nonetheless I enjoyed their company because I felt like I had a friend. March rolled around and my birthday was coming up, my 18th birthday which was more of a big deal to J than me. They wanted to see me in provocative pictures and were constantly talking about how excited they were for it and I didn't understand why really. They were also 19 btw and they seemed way too excited for something as simple as that kind of picture. The day rolled around and I felt uncomfortable, I was told to send pictures and I did which admittedly made me uncomfortable as hell yet I still did and I was given positive affirmation for it. Little fact about me is that one thing I didn't get much growing up was positive affirmation so getting that made me feel like I was actually doing something right for once.

Over the next few months, J went from supportive and well intent to showing their true colors. As time went on they began to get more and more controlling with the things that I did as an individual. It went from supoorting the fact that I struggled with PTSD to using it as a reason that I shouldn't be making other friends besides them. From being supportive of my open mindedness with sexuality to coaxing me into spewing hateful rhetoric. Their family was actually really supportive of me at first, the thibg they had said about their mom turned out to be a lie used to play on my sympathy because their mom adored me as a person and constantly would ask if me and my mom needed anything. They sent us two big care packages through the mail with food and money for food and I originally was against that not just because I'm genuinely horrible at taking gifts but because they had my physical address and knew where I lived in case they wanted to "visit". The care packages meant a lot to me and my mom because we've been low income since I was little and having the luxury to live in a house or not have to worry about food consumption was something I never had.

During late spring, J began to be a lot more forceful with me by manipulating and gaslighting me into thinking many toxic things. I was afraid at this point of both J and being alone again. They would tell me that I should start acting more feminine and "like a girl" and that was REALLY triggering to me since over a big part of my life, I was questioning my gender identity and being forced into this feminine box made me hate myself. They would tell me to wear "panties", talk higher pitched, and even tell me to be a submissive partner who just lets them lead and me follow. I'm naturally a more dominant person in general so it was like I was disregarding a huge part of my identity. I was almost silenced into this role that J wanted me to be. They would force me to do lewd things online and while you could say that I shouldn't have been worried since it wasn't irl, they knew my address and last name.

One instance I remember was that J asked about my deadname and I told them and then questioned why I would change that name since it "was more feminine and fit me". It was upsetting to hear that but at least they didn't deadname me after finding out. They also kept telling me that I wasnt allowed to be attracted to anyone but them. I wasn't allowed to protest because they would threaten killing themselves and actually send a picture of them with a knife to their throat as if to threaten me.

A detail I left out intentionally was something that disturbed me the most about them and really makes me think they have a serious form of some kind of dissociative mental disorder. (Context: I'm not stigmatizing folks who have Dissociative disorders, my mother has one and the symptoms J exhibited make me think of someone who experiences detachment or disillusionment. Im not going to diagnose them but my instinct makes me believe that it could be something similar yet they have never been medically diagnosed.) J would constantly talk about a friend they had in elementary school who had taken their own life and how the spirit of this friend still keeps near them since they were close back then. This friend almost seemed to become a way to manipulate me later on in 2018.

This friend of theirs almost seemed to be a way to seperate themselves from how they treated me or avoid blame. This friend would threaten me that if I didn't let J r*pe me that they were gonna commit s*icide and that it would be my fault for not doing what they wanted. They also would threaten me to do what J said or else they would "possess" me. I'm someone who has had bad experiences with spirits so I didn't want to have more hell. J themselves would sometimes get extremely angry when I stood up for myself or expressed stuff I was really interested in and would threaten to track me down, assault me, and kill my mom. They also began pitting me against my mom because I would talk about how my mom was getting worried about me being hurt but J said that my mom was faking it and manipulating me and I almost believed J but I know my mom and I know she cares too much about me to do something like that.

Around September, I was practically an emotionless shell. I wasn't excited about anything, I wasn't angry anymore, I was barely feeling much of anything but a deep seeded sadness. I lacked in a lot of places and repressed any emotion I had so deep that I couldn't react to anything anymore. I think J began to notice because they started to actually act concerned after a while but that was flickering like a light switch. One of the last instances that I broke down was august of 2018 when I began crying heavily over microphone and begging them to not hate me. They had no reaction, no remorse , no empathy and when their mom came in they just left me there crying without affirming me at all.

During this time, I was sending hundreds of nude photos a day to appease them and they would get off and go to sleep and during the night I would secretly cry and look at queer based things in private to try and keep some semblance of my identity in tact. I actually started watching Sanders sides around July 2018 and enjoyed the series and how nice the fanbase seemed and it somehow helped me get through this rough period of time.

October was probably some of the worst time because I ended up missing my favorite holiday, Halloween which was the only time I personally enjoyed being myself because the element of the holiday made me happy. That halloween I spent on overwatch with J, overall miserable and hating myself. I also forgot to mention that J would dictate what I wore, they would hate that I wore boxer briefs and men's cologne and deodorant, they constantly questioned why I was trying to be masculine when I was AFAB but again I was also closeted with my gender identity and this shoved me even more into the closet when they would argue with me about it.

November rolled around and I had practically been at my breaking point, J was trying to convince me for weeks to move down south to live with them and their family and I was practically being forced. I have a fear of flying and I kept saying that I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my disabled mom by herself and my mom also hates flying. J was trying to get things their way and forced me too and I was looking into flights even though I was deadset on not going. November 11th 2018, I wasn't replying to J's texts right away because I was actually standing up for myself. They began HEAVILY threatening to end their life and I remember sitting there and crying without emotion then I hung up on them and told them to stop calling and texting me as they had begun to text and call me incessantly. I said I needed a break and finally let out a breath when they said ok.

Around late November, I felt as though I had misjudged Z and unblocked and messaged them, apologizing for being a dick to them. They initially forgave me and I was just going to move on but they asked if we could play in a public chill server and I accepted just to try and get my mind off of J. As we entered into the game, J suddenly started spectating and Z left instantly out of fear. I only talked to Z just to apologize and give context as to what happened, I was desensitized and just needed a friend. J messaged me apologizing frantically and saying "if you've moved on to date Z, just tell me so I can move on" and I said "no, I just needed a friend right now and I need my space. Don't talk to me for a while, respect that one thing." And thankfully, I was actually left alone.

December rolled around once again and at this point I had finally blocked J and moved on from everything, J's mom had messaged me on Facebook and told me that I was a "filthy cheater who just used J for their kindess and didn't care about them" but I did actually genuinely care deeply about J yet he abused my compassion by gaslighting me and putting me into this false sense of security. Before I could reply, she blocked me so she never actually took the time to ask me. I was feeling guilty for leaving J but I was reassured by Z during that time period and Z had apologised for previous comments as well. Z ended up introducing another friend to the group, we'll call them A. We would first play Overwatch but immediately switch to Minecraft which I had bought when still with J to play with their family. Around this time I had begun to cling to Z uninitentionally due to recovering from my trauma and needing that affirmation that I wasn't some terrible abuser, as J had manipulated me to think I was. Z was getting a bit bothered by this yet they had never publicly told me nor did they understand why I clung to them in the first place. Z knew I had PTSD and I had told them exactly what I had just described earlier about what J had done to me and Z was initially very empathetic though I was never told that my clinginess was bothering them because I was in recovery mode. Eventually towards the end of January, I was told by A that they knew why I was so clingy with Z. At first I was confused because they both had known that I had PTSD but A proceed. "The only reason you're so clingy with Z is because you're secretly still in love with them, I can read you like an open book and you would do best to stop denying your obvious feelings for them" Hearing this made me personally disgusted, appalled, and upset mentally. Z kept to the side during this discussion and didn't go against A however they didn't deny A's words.

I retorted by speaking about my trauma and how it made me cling to people unnecessarily but then A proceeded to invalidate my trauma by implying that I was over exaggerating what I had gone through. I felt awful and I forcefully distanced myself from them both only to go back once again out of fear of being alone. This continued for a while until July 10th, 2019 when I finally distanced myself from Z for good. I made my own account on Instagram and over the span of 2 years, I built up a community of people who liked my work and I got my sense of individualism back give or take. I recently changed accounts because this era in my life is brand new and I couldn't be happier with where I'm at.

This post is more so a form of being vulnerable and a bit of exposure therapy. Sure im not a perfect person, I can't even publicly out my abusers but I think it would do more harm than good. If anyone wants to have a warning for their accounts, at least on YouTube, message me on my Insta in my bio. I'm sorry if this was long and possibly upsetting but I wanted to just get this out. I dont know who would be seeing this but if you read this far: thank you, honestly its upsetting to have to go through so much bullshit and I hate talking about it because it's difficult to really put shit out there without feeling like its some tupe of attention thing. I don't want to post this for sympathy, I want to post this for me, just to feel better about where I'm at and also face my trauma head on to heal from it. I'm not saying this to compare who's life is worse or not but I am posting this to better myself.

Thank you again,

Spooky

[n-ugg]

I didn't expect to get tagged but here we are. As you all will be able to tell in a bit, I am a massive Quackity fan

Thank you for tagging me @skeetlehands!

who is your favourite member on the smp?

Look, I love them all but these have a special place in my heart.

Quackity, Slimecicle (I am fully aware he just joined but I still love him), Schlatt, Tubbo, Eret, AweSamdude, and Ponk.

They're just great in and out of character and just have comforting vibes.

when did you first start watching the smp and what made you get into it?

I gotten in during the Pogtopia era since it took me a while to get access to the streams.

I mainly gotten in with the Sad-ist War animatics along with me trying to catch up on Quackity's VODS. Just someone that I was already familiar with being an easier shift into story and learning others through him

what is your favourite part about watching the smp?

Just watching everyone interact with other and just seeing the plot progress in real time. Its literally just dnd but with extra steps but I enjoy it so much

The improv that they all do is amazing and how everyone have different approaches to their characters makes my writer's side so happy with dissecting everything.

What piece of cursed lore is your favourite

That Wilbur canonically fucked a fish and Philza canonically fucked a Samasung fridge and just seeing the fanbase try to change into something that will at least make a bit more sense.

Im included in this, I basically joined the side that has Sally being a mermaid shapeshifting pirate. Mainly because of pirate Fundy

Who is your favorite duo on the smp

Slimecicle and Ranboo: They're the same person but in different fonts, you can convince me otherwise

Schlatt and Quackity: They managed to be super funny together with all of the jokes and balanced with making a very realistic abusive relationship work. It was always fun seeing them flirt with each other for a joke then get hit with whiplash when canon comes in to remind me that this isnt healthy

Tubbo and Tommy: They're two dumbasses who share the same braincell but then they constantly lose it and Tubbo mainly has custody of it

Wilbur and Schlatt: I just enjoy seeing Schlatt messing with Wilbur and occasionally flirts with him to get Wilbur more pissed off

Who are your comfort streamers

Quackity and Slimecicle are comfort streamers

Eret, Fundy, and AweSamdude are my comfort people (meaning I dont watch them as much but I find comfort in their presence. And the other two are also under this category)

Who is your favorite character

Quackity due to how complex his character is and yet how it looks so simple

Schlatt because is just a villian who knows how to play the game without getting caught

Tubbo, watching him trying to be hopeful with everything destroy around him and he just slowly become used to everything going wrong

AweSamdude because he is just trying his best to be a father figure others and I just got family issues

Who do you think the best actor(s) on the smp

Imma skip over the ones that we all already said and get into the ones that dont get enough praise

Quackity: Just how he managed to make his character seem so basic but in reality its really complex. And just seeing the shift from him being a chaotic force of nature to being a serious character that is trying his best to reach something that has been hanging over his head is just *chefs kiss* and he always delivers amazing lines on the spot.

BadBoyHalo: He is doing great right now, even though he is a bit rusty with starting he still manages to get into character and stay in character the entire time. When slowly easing in, you can tell its a bit forced but once he finds his footing, he knows how to deliver his lines.

AweSamdude: His entire bit where he was getting rescued from the egg fucking hurt. How he sounded weak from the entire thing and tired to where he just wanted to rest was so well. And I know he can act more energetic when he was accidentally dragged into playing a cop during Quackity's and Bad's date

Fundy: You guys need to give him more praise for his acting because he is fucking amazing at it. The little touches to how he voice when speaks is so good along with his body language in game. He knows what he's fucking doing and I love him for that. And when he snapped, it made complete sense if you payed attention to his character

I didnt add Ranboo because he's automatically at the top section due to him being a dnd player. Same goes to Slimecicle even though he hasnt acted yet. I dont make the rules. You play dnd, you know how to act

What are your favorite quotes

I dont have favorite quotes, just dialog heavy scenes.

Before Doomsday, Quackity going to take his horse far away from L'Manberg, it being the one thing he cares about. It was just so good

The entire Schlatt and Quackity argument in front of the white house

The meeting between Schlatt and Quackity with Schlatt yelling out to him in a taunting way to where Tommy and Quackity are trying to figure out what happened to the tnt. I constantly rewatch it to feel the adrinaline pumping to feel something

Wilbur's slow descend into insanity and talking to Tommy. Just showing his paranoia and fears consuming him, him projecting his fears into Tommy as an attempt of manipulation, and his hero complex shift into villian one

Schlatt's winning speech of him projecting it as something that was bound to happen no matter what. The amount of charisma and confidence that was in his voice as I was watching Tommy hiding underground in fear was just a perfect scene

Tommy's argument with Dream when everyone is protecting Tommy. Its the small details of Tommy taunting Dream to kill him, knowing he wont no matter what. Him telling everyone to protect Tubbo and everyone listening without hesitation.

The debate that Quackity and Dream had for like 11 or 14 minutes. All of that was completely unprompted unscripted, it was just so satisfying seeing someone stand up against Dream for the first time and actually beating him. Sure it was in a verble conflict but it still counts as a defeat

Be honest, who do you simp for? (Ayo if anyone says Tommy or Tubbo I will🗡)

Schlatt, Quackity, and Slimecicle

Its pretty obvious, I dont really try to hide it

Whats your favorite stream

Uhhhh I dont exactly have one so none I guess

Whats your least favorite streams

Im sorry, but all of the Jackbox stream. You need a specific group of people to play together in order to actually make it funny and keeping the energy throughout the entire thing.

After a bit later, everyone has a tendency of pandering to the audience and repeat jokes. They managed to beat jokes to the ground faster than Tiktok AND Twitter.

Dont get me started with DreamTeam being in there. They're funny in thier own rights but the shipping jokes get so unfunny so quick and they dont know how bounce off of others well. The only exception to this is when Quackity, Velvet, and Ant were playing with Sapnap and Dream. And thats because they decided to mess with the straight white guys into accidently saying offensive shit and seeing those two suffer with trying tiptoe around was so amusing

Whats something about the smp fandom thay makes you sad

This doesnt get me sad, just frustrated and its mostly towards dsmptok and dsmptwt but sometimes this fandom doesnt fucking know how to analyze characters. Like when everyone jumped on Tubbo on being the bad guy when he was a kid trying to use old tatics that knows that worked before and stand up for himself

How when one person decides to do something that they believe is right, everyone just throws the term villian arc around

When one person does one good thing the suddenly everyone accepts into them being good and not ever looking into it.

For fucks sakes, I saw people keep saying that Quackity was turning into Dream or Wilbur and I just sat there being confused on how they conntected those dots that were in different books.

Its so frustrating to read through. But here on dsmpblr, you guys actually understand character analysis, are able to critique them and able to love whoever you enjoy.

Another thing is how this fanbase really puts everyone on a pedestal or objectify them. Just completely forgetting that they're human and treat the streamer as a character. Like, yeah they're playing up a persona whenever they're making content but theres a difference and you shouldn't hold them up like that.

You cant use the argument of "They're young, they dont know any better", when I first entered my first fandom (I was like 11/12), I fully understood that theres a boundary between me and the creator. What they are on screen is a persona but they're still human and I should treat them as such. Its just something that bugs me and its unnerving to see whenever people start getting wierd about it

Final bit is just how the twitch chat acts. They all force the streamer to follow the 'main' plot of it being Tommy or Techno or whoever the fandom chooses to have a favorite, completely ignoring the fact that they are their own character. No one wants to meta game because where is the fun in that but the fucking chat gets so annoying when the streamer goes against fanfavorite of the week. It drains the fun of it being multiple pov's and different characters.

When Slimecicle was barely starting stream I saw so many people spam "Go with Ranboo" and not let him even get into lore first. I hated that I knew it was coming but it was still so fucking frustrating seeing them try to boss him around. Please just let people live outside of the 'main' plot, not everything revolves around your favorites. Now shut the fuck up and let them play

What about the smp fandom that makes you happy?

The people that create art, animatics, theories, playlist, or write oneshots

All of you creators are great and deserve so much more respect then what the fandom gives you because jesus fucking christ they're all so fucking rude. You guys are the ones that are carrying this fandom on your backs and I fucking respect yall for that

________________

Time for da spead: @nixavia @dambette404 and @mocha-is-lost yall dont need to join.....unless😳😳😳

[seongwhy]

ateez reaction the their crush making the first move

hongjoong

hongjoongie !!! would be so happy !!! that you felt that way about him !!!!

he didnt make a move bc he didnt wanna make u uncomfy :(( so he disregarded his feelings for u

unknowingly to him, u like him back !!!

but since this lucky man didnt get the hint (and with all the touching and attempted flirting you're surprised he didnt)

you decided you had to make the first move

but being all nervous and shi ,, you gotta plan it out

just like hongjoong u dont wanna make him uncomfy !! yall the same mfs

so what u planned to do was grab some takeout and bring it to hongjoong when hes producing an chat him up an shit

and once u get to his place and have him all alone your heart starts racing

and so does his !!

and you're eating and laughing and has showing you a beat he just made

and you put your hand on his leg and hes like big eyes blushing and his mouth drops a lil

and you're like 'this is rlly good hongjoongie' bITHX HES CRYIGN

IM CRYING

and you lean in and kiss him on the corner of his mouth and hes just

'o-oh thank you' he says

and u smile at him and ask him to show you more

he takes a second to recover but blushes even more

and ur ready to kiss him til he stops blushing

so u do

but he doesnt

seonghwa

seonghwa tries his best ok

he just really likes you

so he ends up stuttering and tripping and literally falling for you

like oh one time he was trying to bring you water and he got too excited and was running and some of the water from the full glass fell on the floor and he just slid right on that shit

thank god you had your back turned talking to yunho bc holy shit he didnt know what hed do if u saw that

but the rest of the boys will never let him live that down

'hyung, remember when u fell trying to get water fo-' 'shut up wooyoung'

but seonghwa is just a shy lil boy around you fam

and it's not like you didnt notice bc hed be rlly chill rlly calm and funny when he doesnt know you're around

and then he sees you and hes all 'o-oh hi I'm going to go w-wash the dishes' he cleans when hes stressed

and when u ask the boys what's up w him they're like '..... are u dumb'

anyway after that it was just so obvious

youd catch him staring and make eye contact and hed look away so fast

but you didnt miss dem red ass cheeks

and you honestly like the attention he gives you

and when he gains a little confidence around you and makes a joke or does girl group dances or smth

you cant resist him

so one day you go over to the dorm and tell all the boys that they're all gonna have to leave so that u can get seonghwa to yourself

and they reluctantly agree bc 'but I'm tireddddd'

and when seonghwa gets home hes like . where is everyone.

and you're like 'oh them??? they just went to the store to get snacks I'm sure theyll be back soon come watch this show w me'

and hes like ,,, right

and you're just smiling and nodding and patting the seat next to you

so he sits obviously sweating

and you're watching this show and hes watching you

with every laugh nd movement his stomach coils a lil

and after a bit you look at him

and you're looking at each other

and you're eyes are watching his lips and you just say yolo and go for it

hes taken aback at first but leans into it

and you're a rlly good kisser

then you pull back nd hes looking at you with the prettiest smile on the prettiest face you've ever seen

'thank u' he says 'for what?' 'for that'

'just kiss me again dummy'

yunho

puppy!! lil baby boy!!!

ok so like the first part , let's say you two have been besties for a while now

and it's just a mutual attraction and mutual liking ykno

but yunho doesnt want to mess up the friendship you guys have by trying anything

the members are all 'bruh she likes you back' and hes like 'nuh-uh you're lying'

like.... they told u sis

and one day wooyoung tells you like.. listen sis yunho has a crush on you but he refuses to do anything abt it bc hes worried itll ruin your friendship that I wouldnt even call a friendship bc of all the sexual tension but wtvr

and you slap him across the chest for that last part but

wait,,, yunho has a crush on you ?????

'are u sure ???' 'yes, bITCH ARE U BLIND'

blind w love babyyyyyyyy

this is groundbreaking news bc what the heck your longtime crush and bff likes you back !!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

so one day bc you guys are honestly just so comfy around each other and you've been holding back for so long theres no reason to delay this any longer

you walk up to his room where the door is closed and knock on it (u guys have a special knock)

and he opens and you latch onto him and kiss him

tangling your hand in his hair and clutching the shirt hes wearing

and he immediately kisses you back

no hesitation

but then

'guys. I'm still in here. like im happy for u but god just do a quick room check next time will ya' san says walking out of the room shaking his head

you both blush and turn to look at each other

yall laugh then shrug your shoulders and yunho says 'are u sure abt this? I dont want to wreck what we have'

'I'm more excited about what we're gonna have baby' you say, and he smiles, nods and leans in to kiss you again hehehehehe

yeosang

ok dis man loves his chocolate

and you know that so .. you decide to make him sum desserts!! a whole bunch

bc you LIKE HIM

and u want him to LIKE YOU

and the best way to get yeosang to fall for u is by giving him chocolate right

but what you didnt know is that he already likes you (shocker!!!)

so you bake up some brownies and cookies and cupcakes and idek other chocolate tings

and bring them all over to the dorm for him to try

and hes so excited !! 'chocolate!!! for me !!!!'

'yes !! all for u yeosangie'

he just looks as you in awe and love

and picks up a fork ready to take a bite

he stops tho and looks at you and licks his lips

and you blush but laugh

and he puts the food in his mouth and just dies because its SO GOOD

and hes just mouth open eyes wide 'holy shit'

'what?? you dont like it'

'nonononono I LOVE IT'

and he runs around the kitchen counter and hugs you so tight

'thank you!! this is amazing!!' he says looking directly into your eyes

'youre amazing' you say

'what?' he says 'o-oh nothing nothing I didnt say anything'

',,,, you just called me amazing !!! omg YOU JUST CALLED ME AMA-'

hes cut off by you pressing your mouth against his

he pulls away and says 'what was that for?'

'I had to get you to shut up somehow'

yeosang laughs and leans down towards you but gets cut off again!!!! this time with a 'omg are these cookies??????'

',,, get out mingi'

san

bruh yunho looks so funny wtf

sannie is such a happy boy :(

his life goal is making you laugh or smile

he just wants u to be happy!!! and his smile is so contagious!!!

and that's why you fell for him

and now everytime he makes u laugh or smile or smth a lil bit of a blush creeps up your cheeks

san doesnt seem to notice tho but you're ok with that

n e way

yall get along rlly well

hes the reason you're at the dorm every friday night for movie night

and someone chooses a horror movie

its scawwy

and san (tho also scared) sits next to you so he can whisper jokes to u throughout the movie

through hushed giggles and smiles at one another u realize u wanna be in a relationship w this guy

and the next time you're at the dorm, you decided nows the time to make it happen

but when u see san he doesnt seem like himself hes slouched down on the couch cuddling with his stuffed animal staring at the tv screen with nothing playing

when he sees you walk over to him he perks up a lil but not like he usually would

so u sit next to him and ask what's wrong

he fiddles his thumbs and doesnt look at you

so u rub his shoulder and put your other hand on his thigh and ask him again

this time he just looks at you

'I'm sorry' he says

'for what?' 'you're not smiling and it's my fault'

'san!!!! it's ok you dont have to be happy all the time!!!! especially not for me'

his head hangs and he sighs

you lift his head and kiss him slightly

'its ok' you whisper

instead of saying anything back, he leans his forehead to yours

you kiss him again

and again on his lips cheeks forehead nose hands

and by the end of it hes shyly smiling

'there it is!! theres my boy'

he hugs you and for the rest of the day you stay snuggled up on the couch

that day it was up to you make him smile

and you did !!!

mingi

mingo mango

the gif is what he looks like whenever you're near him

hes always whining for you whenever you're not

and when hongjoong sent you a video of mingi doing just that you though it was the funniest thing ever

'I wish y/n was here you're all a bunch of losers' 'you guys suck!!! I miss y/n'

freakin hilarious

this is something u love making fun of him for

liek damn mingi am I that special? I didnt know u liked me that much? u got a crush on me mango?

and u notice that whenever you ask that question, no matter how much of a joke it is, he never gives you an answer

but u dont rlly think about it until you start developing a crush on him

at first it's like,, oh what a baby hes so cute eating the food I made for him

and then it's like wow I wish he would dance on me like dat me too sis

and then u start complaining whenever hes not around 'wheres mingi?? I've been waiting for like an hour' nd 'ykno what would make this even better? mingi'

and everyone is like ok we get it u like mingi

and when mingi catches whiff of this oh boy it's over for you

'so ig it's me that's special now huh?' he tells you one night

'what?' 'u gotta crush on meeeeeee y/n's gotta crush on mingiiii'

and you roll your eyes because . idiot

but then step closer to him and say 'maybe I do'

and that's when his eyes go wide 'wait rlly???' he asks and you can hear the hope in his voice

'all I'm saying is that if you kissed me rn I wouldnt be opposed' is what you say back

and kiss you he does

wooyoung

ok so wooyoungie and u

have such blatant chemistry

yall are constantly flirting and idk yall just click

but u dont notice it

I mean u see the eyebrow wiggles and sly smiles some of the members give u

but all that does is confuse you

one day when wooyoung is in the washroom yunho says 'so you nd wooyoung huh?'

and you're like ...huh

yunhos like 'u dont like him? all yall do is flirt'

and when he says that a whole wall came down in your head

a wall blocking you from accessing emotions of attraction and love and shit you're emotionally scared sis

and you turn firetruck red

yunho just laughs and says 'I knew it'

wooyoung comes back and asks what's going on

'I'll just leave u two alone' yunho says chuckling

you glare at him as he leaves youre gonna get him back for that

but wooyoung doesnt sense anything and swings his arm around your shoulders pulling you into him

and he asks what you wanna do for the night

but you're quiet and distracted with these new feelings you've just found out you have

wooyoung asks if you're okay

and you look up at him but suddenly cant look at him in his eyes. his really pretty eyes

so you turn around and go to grab your stuff bc you 'forgot abt that... thing' you have to do

wooyoung, confused watches you scurry across the room

'uh.. ok.. I'll see you tomorrow?'

'yeah yeah see you' you say not looking at him

you just need to figure your feelings out and then you can see him again

so back home you're racking your brain tryna figure out if theres anything you can do to stop yourself from falling in love w wooyoung

and speak of the devil, u get a call from wooyoung

u contemplate not picking up but decide that wooyoung is still your best friend

'hello?' 'y/n!!! are you ok?? you left really suddenly earlier' 'yeah wooyoung I'm fine dw'

'are you sure? we dont want the prettiest person alive to feel sad now do we?'

you open your mouth to say something back but nothing comes out

'y/n?'

you feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you ask 'are you still free?'

'uh for u? always'

blushing even harder now you say 'I'm coming over' and end the call

once you get there you're knocking on the door frantically

wooyoung opens up with a 'jeez y/n what's the ru-'

you basically jump on him and kiss him hard

you latch your hands onto his shirt nd he wraps his hands around your waist

when you pull away for air, wooyoungs looking at you with a smile on his puffy red lips

you smile back and say 'that was the rush'

wooyoung smiles harder and pulls you back into him

'took you long enough'

jongho

jongho cant believe u two have met

you're one of his favourite new idols

and you met at a show

and you told him how amazing ateez's performance was

blushing, he tells you how much he likes your music

you ask him if hes hungry to which he says yes bc 1) hes always hungry and 2) he cant say no to u ever

so u buy him one of those sandwiches w the jam and the coleslaw or wtvr you know what I'm talking about

and you sit to talk and eat for a while before you have to leave

you ask for his number and tell him you'll call him sometime

and you do

all the time

at first hes shy and boyish which makes you laugh

but after a while he gets comfy and will brag and sing to you and joke

you guys catch each other up on everything

he tells you all about the boys and the boys all about you

and you realise how good a listener this guy is nd how handsome!! and cute

and so at the next show you see him at you walk up to him

and with your heart doing flips and take his hand and tell him to walk around with you

he does and you lead him to a less busy hallway where you just look at him and say 'I like you'

jonghos like... wait. huh. what. wait i- and hes blushing so much even his ears turn red

'me? you like me? bc I like you too and if you're joking or something I would be really sad and I've told the members that I like you and they made fun of me so this would be great of u did like me but if you dont and this is a joke id be really upset' and hes rambling and not looking you in the eye

so you lean in and kiss him

'it's not a joke' you say

'its,, not a joke? are you sure?' 'I'm sure'

'you're sure' 'are you going to keep repeating everything I say? or are u gonna kiss me again?'

jongho, blushing even harder now, chooses the second option

[subarashiet]

lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

[a-merman-not-a-guppy]

It will be alright, alright, alright | Carrotflakes

Finn reaches out to Nemo and Tae after an argument with Ariel. The conversation sort of devolves from there. Talk of prom, goats, etc. Group chats man.

@justkeepdancing-nemo​ @moon-yeongtae​

Finn: hi Nemo! hi Tae! I hope it's not weird to put us all together in a chat like this.

Finn: it might be weird Nemo: course its not weird ahah we've group chatted before :heart: Finn: :heart: Finn: I want to ask you guys Finn: well I want to talk Nemo: yeah? whats up!

Finn: i got in a fight with Ariel? Finn: i mean not physically Finn: though she did. got in a physical fight Finn: with ASHLEY A! Nemo: ohhhhh yeah i heard Nemo: at mei's party right??? Nemo: but wait why did u fight ariel then Finn: everyone's heard. Finn: well she just Finn: she's just so Finn: reckless? i mean she told me not to panic Finn: and I know I panic a lot okay. but whenever she says that I swear my heart rate picks up ten times because I know something's happened Finn: and that she's gonna be super casual about it and laugh about it while I have my tenth heart attack of the year Nemo: oh i see Nemo: she's not taking your worry seriously, thats why? Finn: I guess? I mean she never does really. Which I get kind of. Finn: I worry about everything. I know that. Finn: but the ashleys are really awful and I'll cry if they do something awful to her. Finn: I mean it's one thing if it's me, I mean I get it and I'm used to it. but she's my best friend Nemo: :/ ok well she should take your worries seriously Nemo: i get why you'd be upset over that Nemo: and the ashleys arent a joke! they seriously messed with robbie for months under everyone's noses Finn: I've never fought with her before! But this is so... Finn: god and Robbie! Finn: she talked about how you and Robbie were in the burn book too and were 'doing okay' and acting like none of what the Ashleys do is a big deal. Finn: I reminded her of what they did to me and she said it was more reason to stand up and fight them! Finn: I wouldn't ask anyone to do that! Nemo: i mean i think it is important to stand up... i dunno about fight... Nemo: i just mean that we cant let the ashleys rule our lives but yeah purposefully antagonizing them is bad haha why sneak into a falcon's nest you know! Finn: they've ruled my life for years so I guess it's hard for me to even think about that. Finn: i don't want them antagonized and doing awful things to you or to robbie or to ariel. Nemo: :/ Nemo: i mean i get where ariel is coming from Nemo: and you too Nemo: is she really planning to...uh...fight more? what would that even mean? didnt she like punch ashley a or something Finn: I don't know. I think so? Finn: she didn't give me details which made me a little more suspicious but after I reminded her about what the ashleys did she said Finn: ' Youre only giving me more reasons to stand up to them and not let them get away with all of that' Finn: and Finn: 'I cant just stand by anymore and im sorry if that makes you upset and that i didnt do something sooner' Finn: i'd rather be homeschooled again than be the excuse to pick more fights Nemo: aw jingles i hope she isnt gonna involve you Nemo [deleted]: i already feel like i made you a target as it is D: sdlfkajs Nemo: maybe give it a day?? she could calm down! maybe it wont seem so important anymore Nemo: to her, i mean Finn: I asked her not to but there's really no telling with her sometimes. Finn: she really makes rash decisions! Finn: i hope she will but I don't think so. And now we're not talking so I don't know what I'm gonna do Finn: besides maybe idk Finn: do you think Tae would make sure Ariel stays safe? I could make cookies Nemo: course he would but Nemo: ...i dunno if ariel would uh, like that Nemo: i dont know much about her but from everything you're telling me i mean Nemo: though maybe she could eat lunch with us if that would make you feel better! Nemo: except ur fighting Nemo: well after you make up! Nemo: though maybe having three burn book victims in one place is a bad call.... Nemo: hm Nemo: hold on let me think ahah Finn: I just want her to be safe. But I guess you're probably right. she'd hate it Finn: and I feel stupid for not being able to do anything to keep her safe either Nemo: well no matter what we would ALL be there for her if she needs it Finn: I'm so lucky to know you guys. Nemo: im so lucky i know you finn :heart: Nemo: im sorry there's more ashley drama ugh Nemo: if i could go back to new years eve and do it all over again i really would Finn: there's always drama with the ashleys. Finn: next year they're gone though from school! and then it'll be fine! it'll be good. Finn: but I wouldn't change New Years Eve. I did something I'd never do otherwise and I had a lot of fun with my friends before everything Finn: Ashley A can...she can....ugh I can't insult her yet not even like this Finn: but you know what I probably mean Nemo: i can Nemo: she's a wartface who can choke on tree fungus Nemo: and ashleigh q is a literal monster who needs to be exorcised from the planet Finn: I can't believe I giggled at that. Finn: that's a very unique insult Nemo: ii got plenty more where that came from! Nemo: but i  will keep them to myself and this group chat!

Finn: hahaha that's probably smart. No need to cause more fights. Nemo: all i wanna do iis get through school without getting grounded again im really trying not to get into trouble lol Finn: a good goal to have too. Finn: it'll be fine. We've all got each other. It should be. Yeah. Nemo: yeah! Tae: I CANT BELIEVE I WAS WORKING Tae: ARIEL FOUGHT ASHLEY A? Nemo: omg u didnt hear yet?? Tae: no I was in Jun's all work and no play orbit Nemo: lol did he take ur phone again Tae: yes next time I'm gonna axe murder him Tae: THE POINT IS THAT ARIEL KICKED ASHLEYS ASS YAAAAAAAAY Tae: sorry I hate her Nemo: join the club aha Tae: I can't believe he took my phone at such a critical time I'm gonna point to this as an example that u cant just take a teens phone bc their friends might need them Nemo: well the fight happened like a day ago Tae: does he have to know that? Tae: no Nemo: i dont think this is a very convincing argument anyway tae yah Nemo: say someone was dying Tae: right yes also I'm really sorry finn Tae: I'll protect ariel Tae: if I can Nemo: just dont get in trouble yourself Nemo: can we all try not to get in trouble??? Nemo: we gotta go to prom in a couple of months ago we need CLEAN RECORDS Tae: sometimes trouble just finds u neems did John mcclane ask for trouble Nemo: (prom is real right thats not just in movies..........) Tae: prom is a real (stupid) thing yes Nemo: tae yah u r going to prom Nemo: sorry not sorry Tae: I dont have a suit and we are poor I cant go Nemo: i dont have a suit and im even more poor and im still gonna go Nemo: i bet you can wear jun's suit Tae: jun is an oddly proportioned dorito Nemo: and you're not??? Finn: pfft Finn: I'm not going to prom Tae: I am a beefcake with angelic proportions thank you very much Finn: oh god Finn: no Finn: i mean respectfully Finn: no Tae: wow rude

Nemo: what!!! finnyyy you gotta Nemo: we'll all go together Finn: please no Nemo: D: Nemo: but why not? Nemo: its not an ashley party, its school sanctioned Nemo: there will be chaperones right? Finn: yeah but they'll be there Finn: they have to to get their devil horns Finn: i mean crown Nemo: but there will be grown ups! Nemo: also lol Tae: we could carrie them Nemo: no Finn: isn't that the scary thing with blood?

Nemo: we'll just mind our own business ok Tae: :))))))))) Nemo: we'll dance and eat food and look fit in our suits and be home before 10 because thats my curfew it will be so lame and fun! Finn: alternative plan: we could not go and have an anti prom hang out Nemo: but i wanna go to prom :/ Finn: oh. that's not fair Nemo Finn: i can picture your sad face Nemo: :(((((((((((((((((((((((((( Tae: you cant go with us anyway nemo u have to go with rooooooobbbbbbieeeeeee Finn: NEMOOOOO DDDD= Finn: that's true too Tae: finn do u wanna be my date? I'll fight everyone for u Nemo: i wanna go with YOU LOT TOO Nemo: c'mon Nemo: i wanna do the big group thing Finn: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Nemo: we have to go to prom at least once Finn: remember the last party we went to? Finn: it can't be that soon to be forgotten Nemo: if not this year then next year when the ashleys arent at school??? Tae: I cant believe I just put my WHOLE HEART ON THE LINE and finn ignored me ya_bae_nemo [this is a snapchat]: 

Finn: WAIT I'M SORRY Finn: TAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Finn: dgpsodjpgojgspdgjdsg Nemo: i meani really wont make you guys go if you dont want Finn: if i were a prom person i would definitely go with you tae of course Finn: wait Finn: why do i have to feel GUILTY Finn: meanies Tae: nemo I'm asking for a date shut ur mouth Nemo: sorry i just realized i was doing the same thing i did at new years!! Nemo: im the worst lol Finn: omg NO Finn: no you're NOT Nemo: nevermind nevermind we'll do anti prom this year that sounds fun too Finn: stooooop it right there Nemo: seriously you're right anti prom could be cool Finn: Nemo Nemo: i mean it! Finn: Nemo: i could go to prom prom next year! Finn: 

Finn: stop Nemo: WHAT Finn: ugh i don't wanna fight with more than one friend today and Finn: who's to say prom wouldn't be fun if Finn: and ONLY IF Finn: Mr. Hot Date over there doesn't leave for another hot date ever Finn: during the time of this Nemo: we arent fighting Finn: it feels like we could and i don't wanna make you sad Tae: I'll stay by your side the whole time Finn: wow Nemo: no im not sad at all Nemo: you arent making me sad Finn: you sure? Tae: only bc u called me hot ;) Nemo: its too early to be talking about it anyway!! who knows maybe robbie will dump me and i'll be too depressed to go to prom lol Finn: omg. you're both going to kill me Finn: here lies Finn Finn: rip Finn: and if Robbie ever dumps you Finn: he'd be the BIGGEST IDIOT ON THE PLANET Tae: nemo u r literally so dramatic ok robbie is so far up ur ass hes like coming out ur throat Finn: that's gross tae Nemo: im just saying its literally three months away Tae: WHERE IS THE LIE FINN Finn: too vivid a mental picture Tae: what's our color scheme picasso Nemo: the theme hasnt even been announced Nemo: u cant decide that yet tae yah c'mon even i know that Finn: can i make our clothes? Tae: oh hell yes you can Finn: :heart:

Tae: also nemo u can always decide first if ur not a coward cmon Nemo: i think the theme makes it fun Tae: ok fine ur right bc I could be something cool like die hard then I could wear a tank top and no shoes Nemo: id just go shirtless Finn: nooooooo Nemo: rub myself up in blood and oil Tae: hahahaha Finn: sounds like the most terrifying form of prom Nemo: its HOT Finn: blood and oil? Finn: gross Tae: yeah Finn it's for the aesthetic Nemo: its so i can take out the germans Finn: ...... Finn: what Tae: have you never seen die hard either Finn: no? Nemo: omg you dont know my husband john mcclane!!! Tae: do I have to do all the work around here Finn: i guess so Finn: you've never invited me for a movie night this isn't my fault DDD= Tae: nemo we have to make him watch die hard with us Nemo: duh! Finn: is it a scary movie? Nemo: yes Nemo: but cool Tae: no Finn: .... Nemo: there's guns and stuff Nemo: and death Finn: ahhh intense Tae: yeah and a really ineffectual police department Nemo: people die hard lolol Tae: I learned that word today Tae: ineffectual Nemo: i dont even know what that means Nemo: tae yah dont get smarter than me Nemo: its not fair lol Tae: good because I probably used it wrong LMFAO Finn: no Finn: you did fine! Finn: :smile: Nemo: see finn is already smarter than me Tae: jun bought me a word of the day calendar bc I called myself a dumbass last week Finn: wahhhhh Nemo: ahhahaha Tae: so maybe I wont sound like a dumbass while still secretly being the biggest dumbass ever Finn: you are NOT Tae: UNDERCOVER DUMBASS HAHAJAHA Finn: D= Nemo: i'll still sound like a dumbass Finn: DD= Nemo: hopefully i'll be cute enough to make up for it Finn: you guys are making me sadddddddd Nemo: :kissing_heart: Tae: nemo ur the cutest it's ok tell him hes cute finn Nemo: im kidding finn i mean im not super smart or anything but im a fairy so who cares Finn: you're smart and funny and kind and cute? Nemo: oh jingles Nemo: i really wasnt trying Nemo: i didnt mean i mean i really was kidding !! Tae: yeah and I wanna be a cop and if you've seen any movies you dont have to be smart to do that either Nemo: now im blushing Finn: my friends are great! i just wanna hug you guys when you say stuff like that about yourself Finn: and we can talk about pots and kettles but i won't hear it Finn: today at least Nemo: also thats tru tae yah all cops are terrible except for hopefully one day u Nemo: well finny you ARE also smart and funny and kind and cute too Nemo: and kind of a bad ass wow Nemo: i promise i wont call myself a dumbass anymore Finn: i'll try to believe everything but the badass part lol Finn: but good :heart: Finn: YOU TOO TAE Tae: I promise I wont call myself a dumbass out loud anymore Tae: lmfao sorry Finn: -.- Finn: fine i guess Finn: sorry. i just really love you guys a lot Nemo: i love you too :slight_smile: Nemo: tae is just okay :slight_smile: Tae: that's me ok tae Nemo: what we call it Nemo: u Nemo: tae just ok moon Nemo: wow saying it like that was weird Tae: lmfao Finn: tae a great friend moon Finn: moon great friend yeongtae Tae: yeah I hate it too just put moon first white people it's not hard Nemo: omg ok is in tokki Nemo: tOKKi Finn: people should figure out how to say names right though Nemo: mine isnt actually hard im lucky Nemo: people butcher my appa's its awful Tae: tae is easy it's like Taylor's swift Finn: I think they'd butcher mine Nemo: Taelor Swift. Finn: but only my mom and aunt called me it anyway Nemo: tae yah thanks for giving me so many great nicknames for u Finn: taelor swift is good lol Nemo: wait finny u never told me your birth name? Tae: if u call me taelor swift i might kill everyone Nemo: i didnt realize you had one Finn: yeah I don't go by it so most people wouldn't xP Finn: dad said it was 'too hard' to say Finn: and they named me Finn Nemo: yeah i get it i dont go by nammin either Tae: i'm gonna pull a power move and use my goat's name Nemo: omg dont Nemo: tae yahasdfja Finn: isn't the goat just Finn: no wait never mind Nemo: dont get him started Tae: MY GOAT HAS A BEAUTIFUL NAME NEMO Nemo: i know that tae yah Tae: i'll just walk into class one day and pronounce myself Hanuelbyeolimgureumhaennimbodasarangseurouri Nemo: theeeeeeeeeere it is Finn: my eyes Finn: what am i trying to read Nemo: ha nuel byeol im gureum hae nnim bo dae sarang seurouri does that help Finn: i wish it did Tae: HAHAHA it's basically the most genius sibling win ever Tae: i named my goat something that basically means more lovely than the sun sky and stars which are, coincidentally, my sister's names HAHAHAHA Tae: it is my legac Finn: oh my god. i'm a lot slower on trying to read hangul and I got some of it Nemo: it IS pretty hilarious Finn: but not all Finn: wow Nemo: and the goat IS pretty sexy Tae: the sexiest goat Nemo: i want her to call me oppa Tae: HAHAHAHAHA Nemo: >) Finn: oh my god Finn: so is this gonna be Finn: 

Finn: not judging Finn: lol Nemo: whoa is that a movie about a romance between four men and a goat Nemo: humans are wild Finn: i honestly don't know. I just know this movie exists Tae: that's one i've actually never seen so i can't help Nemo: im gonna believe its a romance between four men and a goat Finn: should we find out? watch die hard and then Finn: a goat movie Nemo: i will watch anything so sure!! Tae: that's true he is a slut for movies Nemo: hey Tae: um i've seen more than u so Tae: i'm the biggest movie slut around Nemo [deleted]: well u werent called a whore so Nemo: lol true Finn: we could do a movie night at my place? Finn: or yours if you want Tae buttttt Tae: no yours is fine Nemo: if its yours i can play with pannieeeee Finn: i was about to brag and show a picture again Finn: i guess i don't have to Finn: xP Nemo: were u gonna show a picture of pannie!!! Nemo: you read my mind!!1 Finn: i mean Pannie is a treasure! i will definitely cuddle him for all scary things! Nemo: guess that means i gotta cuddle tae yah Nemo: sorry tae yah ur stuck with me Finn: guess so. we could both cuddle pannie too, i could share i guess Finn: check this out Finn: 

Tae: HIS SHIRT Nemo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Finn: he gets to be stylish with me Nemo: U DID NOT Nemo: did u make that! Finn: of course! Tae: there is no way nemo will cuddle me now look at him Finn: well if nemo desperately wants to cuddle pannie i gueeeeess i could cuddle you tae if you're sad Tae: it's okay i'm a big strong man who doesn't need cuddles lmfao Neems: I CANT BELIEVE U MADE THAT Finn: oh. so you don't want to cuddle me? D= Finn: so very sad Finn: nemo cuddle me with pannie Neems: i will cuddle anyone who needs it tae yah knows im a big rotten coward Neems: HE LOOKS LIKE A GENTLEMAN Neems: sorry im still not over it Finn: =DDD Neems: u should make him a little tie :((( id cry Finn: ooooo that's a good idea Finn: i'll make him a black tie so he can feel fancy Finn: or black bow tie? Neems: both! Neems: one for the office one for special occasions duh Tae: tie the tie around his head so he looks like a karate master Finn: i think he'd just chew that off Finn: but i like the creativity Tae: thank u i'll be here my whole life Neems: tae the tie master moon Tae: omg that sound cooler than taelor swift i'll take it Finn: a bit wordy though. TTTMM Tae: just call me tm Tae: traDEMARK BITCHESSSSSS Finn: hahaha

[emilyjunk]

hi im sad do you have an hcs about bemily meeting at an ice cream shop?

during beca’s senior year of high school her dad makes her get a job and the only place hiring is fucking baskin robbins so... beca starts working at baskin robbins

she hates it obviously... people suck and they’re always dropping their ice cream and she has to clean it up ://///

also sometimes people come in and get like twelve samples and then end up picking vanilla and becas like wtf why??? vanilla is the most boring flavor on the whole dumb menu????

anyway the WORST is when they get HUUUUGE groups coming in like after sporting events and things... it’s so busy and chaotic

the second worst thing is when she sees people from school because that’s embarrassing. beca always pretends she doesn’t know them.

the ultra worst thing is when people from school are in a huge group

and thats what happens every fucking saturday afternoon

this huge group of girls from school comes in after their soccer game. every saturday without fail. they’re obnoxious and always make a mess and never can decide what they want

and beca like, totally doesnt even like any of them because jocks are so lame? theyre dumb and usually dicks. the soccer girls aren’t the worst but they also arent that great

so one day beca is stressing because the soccer girls are gossipping in line and becas just fucking standing there waiting for them to pick an ice cream flavor and her shift isnt over for another hour so everything just sucks... and then... then it doesnt suck so much. bc then one of the girls is like “hey guys... let’s order and take this outside so we dont hold up the line!” and she gives beca a knowing smile... so pretty and soft and empathetic

beca recognizes her, but isn’t one hundred percent sure of her name. she’s in the grade under beca, about to be a junior, and they’ve never had a class together. but beca recognizes her face from the halls.

beca decides this girl doesnt completely suck. at least as much as the others. 

after that, beca starts seeing her around all the time. she sees her in the halls at school, talking with friends at her locker. she sees her saturdays after soccer games at baskin robbins. she even sees her once at the movies when her stupid neighbor jesse drags her along to the newest superhero flick

it gets to the point where beca randomly thinks about this girl she doesnt know on and off throughout the day, and it makes her roll her eyes at herself but whatever. the girl is nice and she’s pretty and beca’s never had a gf, but she knows she really likes girls, and so just... whatever. she can think about people in her head alright? it doesnt mean anything!

“look,” cynthia rose says when the soccer girls come every saturday. “it’s beca’s crushtomer.”

“my what?” beca asks the first time this happens.

“crushtomer,” tssks her manager aubrey. “it’s when you have a crush on one of your regulars. and it’s obviously unprofessional beca.”

“she’s not my... crushtomer.”

“please. we can see your custoner from space.” beca stares and aubrey rolls her eyes. “customer boner. obviously.”

“you guys are weird.” beca scoffs.

but then the girl’s ordering and becas smiling... yeah... smiling wtf... as she scoops vanilla ice cream onto a waffle cone and god fucking dammit... she totally has a crushtomer.

alright so whatever beca has it bad for this customer but it’s whatever. she doesn’t even know the girl’s nam-

“emily!”

the girl whips her head around as her teammate comes jogging up to her and fine!!! beca knows her name.

it wouldn’t be that crazy or anything, until one time at school in the hall they make eye contact and emily is like “hey beca” and beca totally freezes.

“uh. hi emily. you, like, know my name?”

emily tilts her head to the side, her cheeks a pretty pink. “oh. yeah... i mean ive seen your nametag at baskin robbins.”

“oh.”

“i just thought i’d say hi.”

beca never thought they’d speak outside of the obligatory ice cream order and cash exchange so she’s not really sure what to do next in this situation. “uh. hi. but uh..... gotta get to class so um. bye?”

emily laughs, so cute and nice. “okay. see you around.”

and then beca is walking away and hearing giggles behind her as chloe beale whispers something in emilys ear and emily swats at her playfully. becas pretty sure she’s being laughed at, but she books it out of there too quick to care.

the next saturday, beca hates to admit it, but she’s kind of looking forward to seeing the soccer girls. it’s NOT because of her crushtomer though, okay? it’s because her shift is boring as fuck because it’s raining outside and nobody is coming in. so at least she’ll have something to do when they come

so beca waits in anticipation as her shift passes, the clock ticking down to her clock-out time... and they never come. beca finds herself almost disappointed to get off work... then she shakes out of it. fuck work. wtf?

the next saturday, beca initiates her very first small talk with emily. “so, you guys didnt come in last week. it was weird not seeing you.”

“oh,” emily pouts. “our game got rained out.” then she tilts her head, looking at beca curiously. “aw, did you miss us?” she teases.

beca snorts. “no.”

“Just me then right?”

and beca knows she’s teasing, but she feels the heat of it in her soul... and she blushes. “very funny.”

emily laughs, so bright and bubbly, the kind of laugh beca would normally hate. but she doesn’t. god she doesn’t.

emilys teammates have already all paid and taken their cones outside and it’s just beca and emily there at the register. plus CR down the counter mopping the floor but whatever, she has headphones in as she cleans so it may as well just be beca and emily okay?

“anyway.” beca says, clearing her throat. “that’s uh. $3.49.”

emily freezes, her eyes widening. she looks down at herself, pats her thighs where her pockets would be if soccer uniforms had pockets. 

“shoot,” she whispers, looking around helplessly. “one sec i forgot my wallet in my car i gotta go grab it.”

“oh,” beca says. “no, it’s cool, it’s uh... on me.”

“what? no, it’s okay. i can go get it.”

“no,” beca says, already putting her employee numbers into the register. “we get free ice cream every shift and i uh... don’t need it. so you can just use my free one. it’s cool.”

emily beams at her. “wow that’s so nice. oh my god.”

“it’s nothing, no problem.”

“no, i have to make it up to you now.”

“that’s really not necessary.”

“beca.”

“emily.”

“let me.”

beca hesitates but emily is giving her this look like a fucking puppy, all cute and persuasive. “...alright... how?”

“are you working tomorrow?”

“um no?”

“let me buy you lunch.”

beca blinks. “this was literally 3 dollars. you wanna go to like mcdonalds or something?”

emily laughs. “no i think i can afford more than the dollar menu. consider it interest.”

“what the hell? what is this? wolf of wall street?”

“oh my god beca.” emily grins. “im trying to hang out with you.”

beca stares. “hang out... with me?”

“yeah? like friends?”

“oh.”

“so...?” emily leans forward, her long ponytail swishing over her shoulder. “lunch tomorrow?”

“uh... yeah okay.”

emily gives beca her phone and beca inputs her number in some kind of daze. 

it’s not a date, beca reminds herself all during the lunch. even if emily pays and holds doors for her and is super touchy feely. it’s a friend thing. it’s just hard because they really get along. beca wasnt sure they would, because emily is smiley and nice and into sports. beca is surly and rude and fakes sick to escape gym every other week. 

but they do get along. they get along great... emily is into music and beca shows emily the mashups she makes in her free time and they bond over bands they like and beca learns emily plays like 5 different instruments.

emily is also funny, in a weird way, and her smile makes beca’s heart do weird things that hearts probably shouldn’t do.

after, emily gives her a hug and beca totally isnt a hug person but it’s the best hug she’s ever had and emily smells good, like scented girly lotion.

after that, they’re kind of friends for real. they hang out sometimes, and beca teases emily about her ice cream order (vanilla... the most boring flavor on the menu), and she even drags jesse to one of the girls’ soccer games and they text here and there, sending song recs back and forth. once emily sends beca a recording of her playing the guitar and beca swears she falls in love a little with emily’s singing voice. 

so yeah, they’re friends. then one day ... everything changes

becas just getting off her shift at baskin robbins and the soccer girls are hanging out at the tables outside, chatting and enjoying their ice cream. beca waves at emily as she walks to her car.

“beca, wait!”

emily jogs up and beca has to pretend she doesn’t think emily’s athleticism isnt the hottest thing she’s ever seen. they’re friends, she reminds herself. friends, beca. friends.

“sup?”

she throws her work bag in the back and shuts the door, turning to look at emily.

emily has a strange expression on her face. almost nervous. which is weird because emily is outgoing and friendly and talking to people doesnt really make her nervous.

“um, so.” emily glances behind her and beca peeks over her shoulder to see all the other soccer girls staring at them. emily frowns, pulling beca to the other side of her car by the arm so they’re out of view. “can i ask you something?”

“uh... sure dude?”

“what’s a crushtomer?”

beca literally almost dies on the spot. “what?”

“a crushtomer.” emily blushes, her fingers tugging at her ponytail nervously.

“oh. um. it’s like......... it’s stupid really, just some made up term thats like when a worker has a crush on one of their regulars, you know? it’s totally lame.”

“huh.” emily nods, her lips twisting. “so like, if i accidentally heard cynthia rose say im your crushtomer, then..............?”

beca really wishes she could crawl in a hole and die. “oh. you... you heard that.”

“yeah.”

“it’s just like... i mean.. we’re friends and stuff,” beca stammers. “you know, they know we’re like... fond of each other or something.”

“i see.” emily tilts her head to the side, looking beca up and down. “so it’s just a friend thing.”

“um i mean, well--”

“because like, say i didn’t want it to be a friend thing. say i wanted it to be a crush thing, like what would that mean?”

beca nearly stops breathing. “what?”

“like say maybe i think you’re cute and i like being your friend, but maybe i also have... once or twice thought about being more than friends and i dont know if you even like girls or anything and if you dont im really sorry like sooooooo sorry for making it awkward but it’s just i overheard that and i thought well just... what if it wasnt a friend thing but a real crush thing and just...” emily blushes cutely, glancing away quickly before looking back at beca. “the term is CRUSHtomer i mean it implies a romantic crush, i don’t know how to make this clearer so please just shut me up now”

“okay just... wait,” beca says, her heart going a mile a second in her chest. “You want to be my crushtomer. in a liking girls romantic way type of thing?”

“i mean...” emily shrugs. “only if you mean it that way. otherwise forgetting about this would be amazing and we could still be friends because i... i really like being your friend.”

“yes,” beca interrupts as emily opens her mouth to keep going. “no god yes. it’s stupid. crushtomer is stupid okay but yeah fine you’re my crushtomer. like... in a crush way. it’s a stupid term.”

emily stares at her for the briefest of seconds. then her face breaks open in the widest smile beca’s ever seen. “i think it’s cute.”

“it’s dumb” beca snorts.

“you wanna like, go out then?”

beca’s whole body is warm. “yeah. that’d be... cool.”

“hm.” emily is so smiley it kills. she scrunches her nose at beca. “i mean i kinda feel like we already were going out. i mean, you showed me your mixes,” she teases. “so romantic.”

“kay,” beca rolls her eyes, but she can’t stop smiling. “whatever. cant believe im gonna go out with a jock.”

emily laughs, her hand coming out to grip the top of beca’s car and effectively sandwiching beca in. “you ever kiss a jock before?”

“no,” beca murmurs, trying to keep her voice from squeaking, but emily is like, really close and holy shit she’s so pretty oh man... 

“you want to?”

beca’s breath gets caught in her throat. “yeah.”

all beca can think when they kiss is that emily tastes like ice cream and for the first time in her life, beca maybe just maybe thinks vanilla might be the most exciting flavor on the menu

[lovebunnie]

Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal 

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

[meetnombre]

I promised myself that would keep this blog sfw. That I would fill it full of things that would make many other people happy and to help them escape from the outside world. It was supposed to be my little corner of the web that would be free from real world politics. I guess, today is finally that time where I have to break that promise.

The whole thing started just as Hasbro released the last episode of the first season of My Little Pony. I discovered it all at once when I marathoned through the first season. For 6 months afterwards, I have been following the pony fandom with a passion, but from a distance. Checking out other peoples art, lurking in forums, sending anon messages to other people’s tumblrs. That kind of stuff. (what can I say? To this day, I am still a bit of a social outcast)

It wasnt until one fateful day when I came across a certain someone’s tumblr blog through another person’s livestream. Not gonna mention any names (SilverBlaze! XD), but anyways! It was through this person’s tumblr that I was encouraged very strongly to introduce myself to someone from the fandom for the very first time. What pretty much happened was that I whacked this awesome guy an anonymous donation through his paypal associated with his new tumblr. What immediately happened afterwards was that his OC absolutely freaked out. Maybe I shouldnt have anonymously sent the post: “Here! Have a bag of free money!” as an anon...oh well XP This person helped me to muster the courage to create an online identity that I could use to interact with the fandom a lot better. He drew me my very own pony! (I still remember the livestream, where Silver started drawing “nombre” without a reference…remember the “meet nombre” image that used to be at the top of my tumblr? That was a modified screenshot of what Silver actually drew for me XD. He then scribbled it out, and began drawing my very own nombre! He asked me if I wanted nombre to be a boy or a girl, as he already started to draw long eyelashes for nombre. I was like “Nombre is a boy! NOMBRE IS A BOY!”, and he quickly removed the eyelashes after that X) ). I eventually took my brand new oc, created my very own tumblr…but then decided to wait until a better time to reveal my tumblr, as I kind of accidentally got Heart Lift, Sparks, and Toast Lift to swap bodies on purpose XP

But yeah! Finally went public with my tumblr, and eventually met someone else (Kappa! XP). I visited quite a few of her livestreams (when silver wasnt streaming, obviously XP), and we just…talked. We caught up with each other so much…we really gotta catch up with each other some more. But what happenned eventually was that Kappa invited me to a group chat where Silver and so many other awesome people got to hang out with each other. I met so many idols of my time and so many new faces, all of which soon became mutual friends. I literally felt like one of the richest people on the planet. I even met someone (Andie!), who soon became my girlfriend!

I still remember bits and pieces of the first group voice chat that I had with this group. One of the guys first impressions was “Is this guy serious?” (Kaipo XP), and “I’m more concerned that this guy works with live explosives for a living” (Rainboom XD)

It didnt last forever. Nothing lasts forever. One of my close friends from that group was forced to leave because he kept on getting anonymous hate from someone else. He didnt know who it was, so he was about at that stage where he was going to shut himself off from ‘everyone’. Good job anon! Good job! *slow clap*

I remember very well the time when that group that helped me with my depression got themselves a new certain member. Things were all good for a while…until that certain member made a techno remix, and asked the group as to what they thought of it. The problem was the title that he chose for it, as it was completely unrelated to the music itself, completely unnecessary, and pretty offensive to a lot of people (I’m pretty sure it was something like “Retarded Austistics” or “Autistic Retards” or something simular…..yeah…). That person was eventually removed from the group, but there was a bit of mayhem in the process, as ‘every single member of the group had moderator powers’. The incident served as a wakeup call to the group, so what happenned was that everyone was disbanded from the old group, and a new group was established…

…but here’s the thing. Not everyone was allowed into the new group. There was one person, who apparently the slim majority at the time decided that they didnt want in the new group. A lot of dramas happened since this event, but this particular separation in my opinion was a pretty big deal, as she was kind of a big part of the group at the time, and a big part of my life.

So! The one big group of people who meant so much to me ended up splitting into 2 separate groups. I stayed silent about the whole thing since then, hoping that someday maybe everyone will let bygones be bygones, because we were all friends once. Instead the opposite happened. Years later, a lot of people started forgetting each other. I could have been more proactive at the time to try and preserve what we all had, but I was worried about hurting someone in the process. I didnt know what to do.

My girlfriend broke up with me, and it was pretty much my fault. After being together for 3 months, she approached me and said that she needed some time apart...and I absolutely flipped my shit. I ended up saying a ‘lot’ of stupid shit that sent her into an absolute chronic panic attack. This drove her to the point where she told me straight up that I was no different from any of the other horrible people in her life. I felt like a real asshole when she said that. I said a lot of things that I shouldnt have said that day.

I was very fortunate to still have her as a friend after all of that. ‘Very’ fortunate.

It was about 3 months after this however that she decided to close her tumblr and delete her skype. She told me that she found happiness outside of this world that she built up. Over 2 years passed since she sent me that post, 2 years that she went missing. That’s long enough to legally declare anyone dead (not kidding either. After all of the low’s that she had been through, my mind was really starting to wonder into some pretty dark places as to what might have happened to her. I was so scared). But everything was okay! I actually got a message from her after all of those years from her telling me that she was doing very well and has settled down with someone else.

All I wanted was the best for her and for her to be happy. Nothing has changed. Even if is with someone else, I dont care. She ‘is’ happy, and she ‘is’ doing what is best for her, and thats all that matters. Hell, I’d approach this guy and shake his hand if it wasn’t for the fact that it would probably make things awkward for everyone XD

But as for me, I’m stuck. I dont really know what to do with myself anymore. When you give someone your heart and things dont work out, most people would get over it. Most people would have found a rebound relationship right now or something, but I guess I’m just not like most people. It’s not just because of my past, but its also because of my toxic present and future. I work in a workplace that can be pretty toxic at times. It’s like, you go back to work after your rostered days off to be meeted by ‘many’ old fashioned people who ask you inappropriate questions like “Hey Nombre! Did you get a root on break?” or “Hey Nombre! You should go get a hooker! You might like it!” over and over because they think its funny to do so, it just puts me off so much. I’m fine as I am! I dont mind being single, even if its for the rest of my life...but there are a lot of people out there who think its okay to treat other people like shit because they are ‘different’, when in reality, my workplace is full of old dirty perverts.

Meanwhile, I’m hardly ever online anymore. Every time I do manage to return to eavesdrop on everyone, it feels like everyone is just becoming more and more isolated from each other. I saw a post on ‘that’ group from someone who said that they wondered what I was up to, to which someone else replied that I pretty much only use tumblr now...and that really hurt me a lot. I cant blame them for thinking that way though, given that I hardly appear anymore. I deserved that.

Every time I look into my tumblrs past posts, I always have dramas. This was supposed to be a place of fun, but because the peak of my tumblr career involved the misadventures between myself and my ex and a certain red horse, looking back always brings up a lot of repressed memories.

I dont want to quit tumblr. But at the same time, I dont want to keep going. I dont know what to do. I really wish that things could have been like they were back in the first quarter of 2013. I liked that.

Over 5 years since then, and I dont know how to move on. I really dont.

[kaywinette]

Party

Clementines the it-girl at her highschool, and shes tired of it. At a party, her and Gabe have a chat, and leads to a nice moment at the end of the night. Thanks @ohsnapitzmoony for the request! Hopefully it doesnt suck and you like it!!

Everyone in this high school knew Clementine. And if you didnt know Clementine, you at least knew of her. She was the star soccer player, the nicest person in the lunchroom, and the prettiest girl in at least a twenty-mile radius. Everyone either wanted to be friends with her, or be in her pants. So thats why Gabe was confused to see Clementine standing out on a porch all alone at a huge high school party.

Gabe honestly wasn't even sure what he was doing at this party. Mariana had insisted he go since it was his senior year, and the most fun hes had was the one prom he went to. So, to keep his sister happy, he went. It was loud and crazy, like he had expected. Who knew high school parties were so cliche.

Gabe spent most of the time around the people he knew, holding a can of soda while his friends drank anything and everything in sight. It was amusing to say the least, especially when Luke started to grind up on Nick. Sarah was the only other person in his group that wasn't drinking, so Gabe spent most of the time chatting with her. Eventually, he had to excuse himself to throw away his can and grab another drink.

On his way downstairs, he passed the glass door to the second-floor balcony. It was winter and pretty cold outside, so everyone decided it was better to stay inside, well save for one girl.

Clementine stood all alone leaning against the railing, frowning out to the neighborhood and town in front of her, holding the same can of soda Gabe had. And Gabe stood frozen, staring at the girl from inside.

Suddenly, his feet start to move without him telling them too. His empty can falling from his hand and onto the floor as he reaches to open the door to the porch. He was instantly hit with freezing cold air, and he was wearing a pretty thick jacket. He didnt know how Clementine was standing out here in only that loose long sleeve shirt, with the sleeves pushed up to her elbows.

"Hey, Clementine. Are you okay?" Gabe asks once he closed the door behind him. He moves to stand next to her and she glances at him from the corner of her eye before shrugging.

"Yeah, I'm fine Gabe. Just...tired?" She turns her eyes back toward the town. "I've been thinking too much lately, its really been taking a toll on me I guess." She laughs unhumorously as Gabe leans on the railing.

"Thinking about what?" Gabe asks, turning to look at her profile. Gabe and Clementine had known each other for quite a few years now. Clementine uses to be Marianas social studies tutor, so she'd always be at Gabes house. Gabe wouldn't call them close friends, but she would say hi to him in the hallways, and even offered for him to sit next to her in bio on the first day of school. And like most boys, over the years, he had grown a not so small crush on the girl. Not just for her looks, but more so for her personality. The girl was strong, and funny, and sweet, and just...well perfect? It's lame, but Gabe doesn't know a better word to describe her. She was just so real. Well, at least around him, she was real. And speaking of being real around him...

"I hate soccer. I always have. Ever since my mom and dad put me in it when I was eight," Clementine sighs, and Gabe's brows raise in interest. All he knew about her parents was that they died a few days after her ninth birthday, so he was surprised she brought them up around him.

"So...why do you still play?" He asks when he realizes he should probably speak up. Clementine shrugs again.

"I dunno. I guess I felt bad that I hated it so much while my parents loved it. So I wanted to make it up to them somehow. It was dumb, but after Lee continued to spend money on it, I realized I couldn't just quit?" She moves a hand from her soda to brush some curls out of her face.

"Well...I hate parties?" Gabe offers, not really knowing what to say, but thankfully, that gets the girl to let out a soft laugh.

"God, you're so lame." Clem laughs, reaching over to gently shove his shoulder.

"Yeah, Mariana says that a lot." He shrugs, playfully rubbing his shoulder where she shoved him.

Clem pauses for a second before looking towards Gabe again, "Mariana... how's she doing with history?" Clementine suddenly asks, turning her whole body to face him, resting one arm on the railing. Gabe shrugs, now he's the one turning to look out at the town.

"Better, she still misses you tutoring her though, even though she has your dad as her teacher now." Gabe laughs, sending Clem a smile.

"Yeah, I miss her too. Maybe I can come over sometime and give her some extra help?" Clem offers.

Gabe nods, "Oh, she'd love that. She's a huge fan of you. She would kill to hang out with you again."

Clementine goes to respond before the door opens and a blond girl pops her head out into the balcony, glaring at Clementine in annoyance.

"Clem, Jesus what are you doing out here? Troy has been texting and calling you for like ten minutes now? He wanted you to cheer him on in beer pong!" The girl complains, completely ignoring Gabe.

"Oh fuck off Katie. If you're so bothered about him being alone you can go suck his dick in the bathroom. I told him I didnt want to talk to him, or any of you. So if you can fuck off and let me talk to my friend I would greatly appreciate it." Clementine goes off, glaring straight back at Katie, who sputters in shock at Clementines words.

"Oh...oh you bitch..." Katie starts, and Gabes scared that the girl is about to shove Clementine of the balcony, before she slams the door and heads back inside.

Both Clementine and Gabe visibly relax once the girl was gone. Gabe turns a shocked look towards the girl, who just hides her face in her hands. "So...you good?"

Clementine lets out a laugh of relief. "Yeah...I'm fine. She's been a bitch for a while now. I'm just tired of all of this." She stands up straight, looking Gabe in the eyes. Gabe's brows push together in confusion.

"Tired of what?" He asks, again leaning against the railing.

"All of this. Of people like me for what they see. Fake people wanting to be my friend so they can be noticed by more people. And then those people only wanting to get me in their bed for a night just so they can gloat to their friends." Clementine rests her elbows on the railing and her chin in her hands. "I want someone to like me for who I am. God, I'm just a walking cliche arent I?" She shakes her head. Gabe stares at her profile before gently resting a hand on her shoulder.

"I...I like you for who you are," he starts, resisting the urge to bite his tongue. "Sure, you're beautiful. But you're super smart. And really nice, and super fucking strong." Clem breaks into a small laugh at that, "People are crazy if they cant see past your looks, cause you're so much more than them...wow, now I sound like a walking cliche," They both laugh at that.

Clementine slowly stands up straight again, looking at Gabe for a second before stepping close to wrap her arms around his neck. They share a soft hug for a few seconds before Clementine steps away. "Thanks, Gabe. You're an amazing guy. I'm lucky to have you in my life," She smiles softly, and Gabe can feel his cheeks heat up.

He goes to respond before the door to the balcony opens again, and Clementines drunk boyfriend comes stumbling out. Grabbing Clementine by the forearm, yanking her away from Gabe.

"Clementine, I swear, if you...you ignore me again, we're over." Troy stutters out, making Gabe cringe at how painfully drunk the boy is.

"Seriously Troy? I've broken up with you like ten times today. Take a fucking hint before it hits you in the face. Let go of me." Clementine glares, trying to pull herself out of his grip, but that just makes him tighten it.

"I swear to Christ you're going to regret that," Troy glares, and Gabe decides he should probably step in.

"Troy...she said let go, I think its time you leave." Gabe steps forward, and Troy turns a harsh look his way, his free hand coming up to point at Gabe.

"Naw...I think its time you leave fuck face. We got some shit to hash out, and we don't need some prick out here with us," Troy glares, and not wanting to get hit, Gabe raises his hands in defense and takes a few steps back.

"Troy, fucking stop would you?" Clementine glares, and in a split second, the hand that was pointing at Gabe is now slapping the girl across the face.

Everything is frozen for a few seconds. Clementines hand goes to the already red cheek. Troy stumbles back, not seeming too affected by the fact that he just hit Clementine, just drunk. Gabe stares at the blossoming handprint on his friends cheek. Before Clem can react herself, Gabes fist is flying toward the drunk boy.

Gabe is tackling the other boy to the ground in seconds. Both fighting to punch and harm each other in any way possible. The party on the second floor has stopped, and a crowd is gathering on the balcony as the two boys beat each other up.

Too soon, Gabe feels hands pulling at his shoulders, pulling him away from the asshole who thought it was okay to hurt Clementine.

"Gabe...C'mon that's enough. You're hurting your hands," He hears Clementine say as Troys friends pull him away. "And Troy, I swear, if you or actually any of you," She sends a glare to the old fake friends, "talk to me again, I'll hurt you way worse than Gabe did tonight," she threatens, before turning her attention back to Gabe. From the corner of his eye, he can see his group of friends pushing their way through the crowd to get to Gabe.

"I think its time we get you home," Luke says, kneeling down to help Clem get the boy back on his feet.

"I can drive him. He lives in my neighborhood," Clem offers, and his friends share a look before Gabe speaks up.

"Don't worry guys. I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow?" Gabe says as Luke pats his back. The friend group plus Clementine make their way out of the house before parting ways. Clementine and Gabe head to Clementines car, and get in before Clem drives off to their neighborhood.

The ride is comfortably quiet. Just the sound of music they both like filling the car as Clementine drives. Gabe nurses a bloody nose with a random soccer jersey Clementine handed to him. All too soon, she was pulling up outside his house, but she stops him before he could get out and say goodbye.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, Clementine gets Gabe to look at her. "Hey...uh I just wanted to say thank you. You really didnt have to do that...but it was um...that was cool of you?" She shrugs, glancing away, not really knowing how to thank him.

"Yeah...of course Clem. Like I would let him do that to you without losing a few teeth," The teens laugh before it falls silent again. Gabe is still well aware of the girls hand on his shoulder. "But really...it's fine...don't worry about i-" Gabe is cut off by Clementines hand moving to his cheek, gently pushing him to face her before her lips are on his.

Gabe is shocked for a few moments, and doesn't respond to the kiss, which makes Clementine quickly pull away in embarrassment. "Shit...fuck I'm sorry Gabe, I don't know what I was thinking that was stupid of me-" This time, Clementine is cut off by Gabe, who brings both hands to her cheeks to pull her back in for a sweeter and longer kiss.

Eventually the two part from each other, but still stay close with eyes closed and foreheads resting against each other. Just taking in the moment before the radio switches to a sudden loud song, making them jump away in surprise before laughing.

"I think I should be headin home soon. Need to get to sleep early." Clem laughs, smiling at the awkward boy.

"Yeah...me too. Mari is probably waiting for me." Gabe says, turning to open the door so he can get out, before he does, he leans over to give Clementine one more quick kiss. "Thanks Clem." He says before getting out.

"Thank you Gabe." Clem calls one last time, smiling at the boy as she watches him make his way inside before driving back home to Lee.

[101scenes]

Wanna One Lai Guan Lin - The 24 Hour Challenge

 featuring: lai guan lin

genre: fluff

word count: 1,964 words

summary: a 24-hour experience with a newly assigned class, and a so-called crush

suggested: nah lmao

you were a junior in your high school

so as an annual tradition, each junior class has to conduct something special for their class to bond before the start of the school year

because in sophomore year you all were in different classes

so you kind off had to get to know each other

your newly elected class representative, lee daehwi, suggested a 24 hour challenge at a chalet

and it was somehow approved by the school

it was supposedly “innovative” and a “fresh idea”

anyways

everyone in your class managed to chip in a little fee to book the chalet for a full day

luckily in your new class you knew a few people from your sophomore class

you thought about skipping cause you thought it would be weird lmao

but your friend dragged you along because she loves exploring new things

so ofc you went

class spirit!

time skip

on the day of the 24 hour challenge

everyone gathered at the booked chalet at about 3pm

& our amazing class rep split the class up into small groups of 4 to their rooms to unpack

boys & girls rooms duh

at about 4pm everyone was gathered back at the common room

and he began explaining the ground rules

like no alcohol, no illegal substances etc

and no electronics

so he had to confiscate everyone’s phone lmao

he also explained the itinerary of the full 24 hours

and he said everyone could hang around until 6pm, where people had to gather at the bbq pit for dinner

after dispersing, you were left defenseless without your precious phone

so you went to the kitchen

isnt the kitchen everyone’s safe haven lmao

and started socializing with your new classmates

you made a few friends surprisingly 

and it was fun overall

stirring your cup of coffee, you looked over at the common room decked with kinect & wii games

you spot this really enthusiastic kid that dragged his friend to switch on just dance to play

seeing the slightly taller guy dance made you smile a little

he seemed like a really reserved guy, but he looked like he was having lots of fun with his friend

it was really cute

so you never thought you would do this

but you joined them

since just dance could play up to 4 people

you decided why not

you never tried just dance

and you played a game with them

yes, without asking their names

after this extremely long and strenuous song

you got second place

with the taller guy in last

you look over to expect a defeated look

but he was still smiling like how he did 10 minutes ago

he was panting yeah

trying to regain his breath on the couch

he still looked really smol

even tho he was tall

while you let your other classmates play

you learnt the guy who got 1st place was seonho

he was generally just a really happy guy

you kindoff guessed it when he entered the class on the first day and gave everyone a sweet and a card with a happy face sticker on it

& the other guy

who was still dancing away

was named guanlin

after chatting a bit with seonho you decided to help out at the bbq pit

and you saw daehwi & your friend chatting away

they were exchanging jokes and giggles

and you just pressed your hand against the glass pane and smiled

you sHIPPED THEM sO hard

bc class rep & vice class reps are shippable

then you heard someone next to you say,

“i ship them too, they’re cute,”

you faced him, to see guanlin pressing his arm against the glass pane as well

“oh, hello, i’m y/n,” you turned to him and greeted

and he did the same

as you threw him a towel from the drawer to wipe his sweat, you asked,

“should we disrupt their moment?”

guanlin shook his head

“nah, it’s their moment,” he said, smiling as he walked away

you watched him as he walked away

and that kindoff concluded your first interaction with him

the guy with the smile that needed to be protected

time sKIP

after some good dinner

(daehwi made sure eVEryone was full)

(class rep more like mother)

he said it was time for gamES!!

you could hear seonho frm the other side of the room squeal

& it was hide and seek

you swore you haven’t played hide and seek ever since you were 8

but you were convinced that you could find a great hiding spot

you kindoff saw a spot earlier that no one wld ever suspect (!!)

so once the seeker began counting down, you loitered a bit first

cause you wanted to see everyone scatter

maybe you could find a better spot

but you ultimately went to your spot

which was this camouflaged door under the stairs that led to a small storage area

you weren’t afraid of small spaces

so why not

you opened the door to see 

well

a tall fella

sat in the corner

before you could apologize and leave, the seeker had already announced he would begin

and guanlin grabbed your wrist, pulled you in and shut the door

uhh it was kindoff a small space

so it was just you and guanlin

in the dark

uncomfortably close

you were both sitting in silence

you wanted to say something

but the seeker could hear you guys talking if you did

so you kept quiet

you could still see some of guanlin’s face due to the fading light falling into through the thin walls

he had literally no flaws

how can a guy have flawless skin?!?

without thinking you blurted out,

“sO-”

before you could even continue tho

he grabbed your wrist again

his hand shocked you lmao

so you fell forward a bit & he caught you

& you could smell his scent

like

NO

you felt like you did injustice

and you backed up a bit and whispered sorry

thanks to the light

you couldnt see the red fading on guanlin’s cheeks

oh & god damn your ears were all red too

ugh just kiss already

anyways

the seeker was left with you two

and could not find you two

so you two crawled out of the little storage room 

everyone didn’t expect the two of you to be together

in an enclosed space

so there were a bit of murmurs

daehwi exCLAIMED,

“yOU hAVe vIOLATED THe RUleS of INdeCen-”

“NO” you blurted

daehwi started laughing

and everyone did too

except you and guanlin

you literally thought they were interrogating you

but it was a joke

haha joking

you fake-laughed

you turned around to see him

just looking away

occasionally rubbing his cheeks

after the game, it was curfew, & you managed to escape to your room as quickly as possible

and dug your face into your pillow

and you just lied there for 10mins

and did not notice your friend enter

“what was the deal with guanlin? are you all a thing?” your friend asked as she sat on your bed

“uughhhhhhh”

“so i take that as a no?”

you sit up and faced her

“it was embarrassing,” you said & covered your face

“pff, it’s okay, have a good nights rest okay?” she said, patting your back

after sulking a bit more, you decided to change into your pjs

as you walked out of the room door, you noticed guanlin walking to his room wearing his freshly changed pjs

it was a matching set of fluffy pjs

it was so adorable wtf

wait

wHy were you feeling these?!?

you shook your head vigorously

like girl

you cant fall for some guy you just met

you did a quick change and went to sleep

but through hours of tossing and turning

you couldnt sleep

you just couldnt sleep in a new environment

partially another reason you didnt want to come

you would naturally grab your phone and scroll around on instagram or something

but since you didnt have it

you just laid on your bed

looking at the clock

it was almost 3am

you sighed

you had nothing to do

so you decided to go down to kitchen and make yourself some hot tea

it was really soothing to you

as you floated down the stairs craving for your tea

you noticed the kitchen light on

you peeked in

and saw guanlin standing there with his own cup of drink

before you could run away from the embarrassment previously

he called out your name

“yo y/n! you up too?”

you found his raspy voice so bEauTifuL

you slowly spun around

and reminded yourself to not remember the incident previously

and you did

“uhh, y-yeah,” you stammered, and walked past him to make a drink

he saw you, it was impossible to just walk away again

“ahaha yeah, me too, i can’t sleep in new places,”

while the hot water was pouring into your cup, you turned around

“rEally?” you said too enthusiastically

you eyes literally shone 

and he was shocked

“o-oh sorry hah, i have the same problem,” you said, collecting your drink

looking out of the window, you said

“i just never knew someone with the a similar, yknow,”

guanlin hummed in agreement

the next hour was just spent talking

about anything tbh

about how you never really saw him in freshman and sophomore year because he was that timid

about grades

until you two finished your midnight drinks

you two walked up the stairs back to your rooms together

as you turned the doorknob to your room, he ruffled your hair and passed by behind you

“goodnight, y/n”

you could hear a smile from his voice

which made your heart melt ok

you returned to your bed and kindoff reflected

you would be spending two more of your years in school with your cRush

oh god u admitted your crush

aaaaaaaaaaaa

and you fell asleep to the thought that you would be able to see that smile everyday

fEw hOURs pass

9am!! sun rise!!!

breakfast!!

ofc u weren’t up because you slept at like 4am last night lmao

so you waddled out of bed at 11am

everyone already had their breakfast and are literally out of the door heading for the beach 

you were so behind time lmao

once you saw no one around, you realized you were late

as you opened the front door, you heard stomping behind you

it was guanlin

because he slept at 4am too

“lets goooo!!” you shouted, grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the door

jeez he didnt even put on slippers yet

once you reached the beach, you just ate the sandwich you packed for lunch and thats about it

while everyone else played

you werent much of a fan of the sun and outdoors bahah

but you saw guanlin playing in the water with the other guys

he had the smile again

the captivating one

you sigh and just look his way

for some reason

you had the urge to make him smile like that

and you really wanted to see him smile because of you

and you only

uhgh what were u thinking

time sKip

it was time to leave :(

everyone was one by one leaving the compound with their belongings

and you were one of the last ones

when you left, you saw guanlin waiting for you near the door

guanlin grinned, put down his duffel bag and opened his arms

you walked right into them, hugging him back

“see you soon, guanlin,” you said

“wait-”

you turn around

“uhm, i would love to talk with you again,” he said, handing you his phone with a new contact application

you smiled

“of course,”

[sweatytyrantwhispers]

Part 4 of things my friends do that make me love them even more:

- both rachel and cristine are artistically talented and i cant fucking wait to see them become famous doing the things they love (i know theyll becoem famous i believe in them tht much) (rachel has a great singing voice; cristine has a great singing voice, knows how to play various intstruments, loves acting, and can paint/draw amazingly)

-seth tells me some catchphraes his fav youtubers say whenever we talk

-none of my friends (nor I) knows how to react or what to say most of the time, especially when it comes to gift giving and compliments; we’re all oblivious and awkward people that don’t understand society

-andy messes up on what to say to customer service people when its evening/night time cus we usually go out around tht time but he’s used to sauing have a good day

-andy also hates intersections so he’ll pretend hes walking in the other direction (away frm the intersection), stand on the sidewalk and pretend hes doing something, or take a whole other route if theres a car nearing the intersection bc he says it feels awkward

-rachel’s favorite animals are dogs and raccoons so when i send her a post abt raccoons she gets rly excited and says she wants to hv a raccoon as a pet when she grows up. She also gets excited when i point out a dog to her in public (she cant see it cus no glasses but still excited by its genert presence)

-dina is scared of lightning so I always try to ask her if shes alright when theres a thunderstorm

-when we go to the park, rachel almost always tries to make tiktoks. We always end up interrupting and annoying her while she makes them though, sorta like our little routine.

-last time we went to the park, rachel ended up accidentally hitting meng and I directly on the face with the volleyball (its ok though cause im pretty sure we’ve ended up accidentally hitting each other with the ball at least once)

-when i got hit with the ball dina asked me if i was ok but as she moved towards me she went for the ball (we were playing monkey in the middle and she was one of the monkeys); its just funny and i love that our friendship is at a point where we could laugh about it and everything is fine

-i told my friends that i was depressed before going to the park to hang out w them. when i got there i kinda just sat on the ground looking through reddit with music on high. they all tried their best to talk to me and tell me funny stories (they said they overheard a group of kids talking about how they pantsed another dude) to cheer me up. Dina and Rachel both decided to give me a hug at the same time and i toppled over. Dina gave me a hug again. I love them so much

- Andy called me while i was in class to tel me to look at the sunset. Its something that both of us have done a few times because we both love sunsets and usually see them when we’re out. Its a small thing but it makes me love my friends even more.

-I was on voice call with Rachel on discord and she laughed then sent the group chat a link to a tiktok

-(not my friend but my mom) She knows that i hate it when things are thrown out when they’re still good or can still be repurposed. Someone brought flowers home for some reason (i forgot why) but she was putting the flowers in a vase one day. Some of the flowers broke off the bigger portion of the stem and couldn’t be put into the big vase but she put a bunch of them into a small container for me and gave it to me. I loved it even though we did hv to throw it out like a few weeks later.

-My friends and I were at Central Park and we were waiting for my two friends to finish up taking pictures. Meng and I were taking a short nap (him sitting down w his elbows on his legs and me w my head on his shoulder) while we waited. We also shared my earbuds to listen to my music. I was p sleepy so I was on the verge of sleeping my also sorta aware of what was going on (mainly cus we were guarding our stuff while everyone else was taking pictures elsewhere). I was doing that thing you do when you’re nodding your head while trying to stay awake/go to sleep. I kept on doing that until he eventually sat up a bit more and pushed my head onto his shoulder better

-Samir looked at a shirt with george washington on it and confidently said that was benjamin franklin

-Dina was talking about how she kept on eating shrimo and peanuts even though she has a mild allergy to it. Rachel and I were telling her to stop and tht we’re not bringing it to the picnic on sunday cus we dont want her dying. She responded, very confidently, tht she “hasnt died before”

-Samir calls dina “d-money”

-Rachel gave me a hug as an im sorry for taking so long. (I genuinely didnt care cus even tho they do take a long time i still v much love them)

-Rachel takes tiktoks and videos of us while we’re out

-Rachel and Dina both got v the excited when i wore a skirt out today because I usually dress more masculine

-A few weeks ago (i think) my friends and I were at the park. I was trying to do something to meng and tripped and fell on the park ground (the part where there’s basically a bunch of tiny rocks on/in the floor). Meng was also trying to do that thing where two people hold a person’s arms and legs and swing them back and forth with me but forgot that if you take someones legs off the floor with no one else holding my arms, i would fall head first onto the park ground, which i did. Both times I laughed at myself but everyone rushed to me while laughing. Idk why but it made me feel like I was ok and safe, even if i was in so much pain, srsly i couldve had a concussion.

- Rachel and I both got excited bc we both wanted to got to the same college

-I call andy when im walking home by myself at night (or when the route im taking doesn’t necessarily hv a lot of people of lights) and he just vibes with me (sometimes talks to me abt how i should b home) until i get home safely

-idk if i already put this but Andy and I have a safe word when we think there might be someone behind us following us at night bc one time when walking home we thought tht and used our now safe word to see if there was someone

-Rachel and Dina do this thing where they take their hand and go from the side of someone else’s body (where the arms are) to the bottom of their legs rly fast while theyre walking. They call it “full body stroke”. They shared it w me and now we do it to meng almost every time we go out. Sometimes we do it together (one person per side).

-While at Central Park there was a dude that was singing (he was rly good). He started singing “Lean on me” by Bill Withers and my friends started singing along with him.

-Rachel sent me a tiktok knowing full well that itd make me gay panic bc yk ✨w o m e n✨

-Dina, Alan, and I stayed out after everyone else went home cus yk they were tired. Dina and I decided to talk like white girls/pick me girls the rest of the night with their stereotypical voices. We laughed the entire time and created weird storylines including: Jessica (Dina), Olivia (me), Jayden (Jessica’s boyfriend and brother that created on Jessica with me and Nicole), Nicole (Jessica’s friend), Olivia’s dad (a convicted felon in all 50 states and is dead), Jessica’s dad (a lawyer that’s also running for president, and Alan (he was just roped into our bs and was there to act like the dude that we both wanted to have as our bf).

- When we were in the bathroom and washing our hands, Dina waited until after the other woman in the bathroom to leave before coming up to me and, in a discreet whisper, told me that the soap was what “good pussy sounds like”

- Rachel, Dina, and I saw a few cats on our way to meet up with Alan and we played w the cats for a bit before one of them said “pspspspsp come here alan” to one of the cats. We now do this frequently to each other even though we hate it.

- We have corrupted each other to the point where we cannot hang out without someone saying “that’s what she said”, something about Dina being white, “just like this dick”, and “deez nuts”. We laugh about it a lot

- Rachel and I are both reasonably out of energy both mentally and physically after our jobs so when I walked w her to a mall w the rest of her friends, we both walked silently with a bit of catching up cause we both understood how the other felt

-We had a water balloon fight today at work (Alan, Rachel, and I work together). Obviously, I took the chance to pop as many balloons over rachel’s head and dump water on her. She tried to spray me w water using a water gun though. Afterwards gave the towel i brought to rachel cause she needed it to change. It’s important to note that rachel has purple hair right now and that the towel was white. key word: was. The towel was now stained a light purple (I dont mind but damn)

- i made rachel a purple raccoon by crocheting it (purple and pink actually). I finished it yesterday (sunday) and gave it today to her at work (monday). I opened the door a bit and peeked my head in with the raccoon just below me in my hands. She was confused at first but then saw the raccoon and her eyes lit up. It was rly cute🥰🥺 to see her get excited. We both nicknamed the raccoon “pimp jr.” and i made a lil name tag/from to tag that said it.

- rachel likes to lip-sync to music shes either listening to or hears in store and sometimes does a little dance with it. Its so cute and I love looking at her do it because it reminds me of why I adore her. She also goes hard when it comes to singing at karaoke. Like damn her vocal range is astounding

- dina got so excited when i asked her if she wanted to binge watch all the twilight movies with me. She looked so cute cus its one of her favorite movies. ugh i love my friends.

-a lot of dudes have crushes on rachel and dina and the both of them usually just try their best to avoid the person or avoid confronting them. Idk why but it kinda makes me feel grateful that I’m close friends with them because I used to have a crush on both of them before when we first met. When I told them i used to have crushes on them they didn’t act weird about it or anything and we continued to be friends. I’m so fucking grateful I’m their friend despite my initial crush on them cause they’re two of them most amazing people I’ve met my entire life.

-rachel, meng, alan, and I went to go watch Shang Chi in movies. In the last few scenes (which were v tense btw) rachel nd I both got rly anxious and squeezed each others hands bc we were scared out favorite characters were gonna get hurt. She squeezed the fuck out of my hand to the point where I couldn’t feel it anymore and neither could she. I’m ok with that though cus I’m glad she finds comfort in squeezing the living fuck out of my hands.

-dina, rachel, and I have matching bracelets from hot topic and i see them wear it almost every time we hang out. Alan and I have a matching pair too but I dont think he’s going to wear it very much (issok tho).

-We went to karaoke yesterday and I dont know how I just realized this but while she’s singing, dina likes to move around a lot. It’s not exactly dancing but not particularly just moving around. Its kinda like that tiny thing ppl do when they’re alone and playing their favorite songs on blast. She’s so cute when she does it, esp because she seems so happy when she does it. Even though I absolutely despise Justin Bieber, I would play his songs over and over again on blast if it made her as happy as she has made me.

-dina and I like to go to the swings and blast “Happier Than Ever” with earbuds in (we share a pair for this) and she screams along to it for the second half

-it’s become a “tradition” for us to go to the swings (most of time) after we’ve done the initial things we already planned out because dina and I love the swings.

[cafffeinations]

It’s amelietweek! \o/ Here’s something for the day 4 prompt College/University AU. It also features Estonia as Lithuania’s room mate, and has mentions of Canada (I think Himaruya put Estonia’s ‘human age’ as younger than America, but here he’s older, like Lithuania). Its ~2,400 words and can be read on AO3 here

Somehow Alfred not being there is just as distracting as when he is, but Eduard is oh so fortunately around to inform him why.

---

Seeing as Alfred isn't around, there's really no excuse why Toris isn't getting on with any work. Without the stories about his day or the new people he always seems to be meeting, explanations about whatever new thing he's into that week and just his exuberant presence in general, it's a much quieter and study-friendly Tuesday evening than Toris usually has.

 Yet whenever he tries to focus on the paragraphs before him, the blinking cursor reminding him how unfinished they are, his eyes manage to glance of their own accord back to the clock at the bottom of the screen. He's usually here by now, the thought cycle begins, I wonder what he's up to?

But as the more rational part of his mind points out, there's no real reason for him to be here; just because he usually comes by doesn't mean he has to.

That should be the end of it, but he just cant help but imagine where he is, be it eating with friends or out running or maybe even studying - unlikely, he smiles wryly to himself, remembering how Alfred had proclaimed that he's 'better off' cramming before finals or he'll just forget everything. Toris had questioned if that really was so wise, to which Alfred had stuck out his tongue, making such a silly face that he'd laughed and -

His word count still has not gone up.

With a sigh he leans back and stretches his arms and shoulders, mentally berating himself, just as Eduard comes through the door.

"Hey," he greets, sliding his backpack onto the bed on his side of the room, "that doesn't look so promising." 

"Yeah, I'm not having the most productive time," Toris replies ruefully, trying not to calculate the days and hours until the one of his many deadlines.

"Well don't worry, you'll manage. You always get it done," Eduard reassures him, and he smiles gratefully, at least until he continues, "especially as it seems our resident freshman isn't around for once to distract you."

"Oh, don't be mean," Toris resists the urge to roll his eyes, a vague idea of where Eduard is headed, "he doesn't come here that much."

"If you say so," Eduard says in a tone that clearly doesn't believe him.

"Its only on Tuesdays when he has a late class over here," Toris bites against his better judgement, referring to the computer suite they live near, "and some Wednesdays if he has time to kill before baseball practice...and maybe on Fridays because of that burger stand he likes." (It was, according to Alfred himself, the best he'd had since moving from home).

"Hmm. How convenient."

"Plus he thinks that he can get your help with his coding or whatever it is you computer guys do!"

"He wishes! That was a one time deal and he knows it." Tutting, he boots his computer up (but Toris knows that as much as Eduard grumbles about Alfred, he finds him nice enough or he wouldn't put up with him coming over at all). "No, it's not me he treks over here for."

There's an emphasis there that he can't help himself but address. "I know what you're saying, and stop it. We just get along well, that's all."

"I'm not saying anything."

"You are," he grumbles.

"Well it's not my fault he's got a major crush on you, is it? I'm just pointing out the obvious. Yes, it's obvious," he interrupts before Toris can say otherwise, "and you like him back, or you'd be busy working instead of sat there looking at the time." 

"I wasn't- I was just- reading and planning what to write!" he protests, lying, and wondering not for the first time how Eduard manages to pick up on things he'd really rather he didn't.

"Very convincing," he says dryly.

As if to make a point Toris turns back to his screen, but he's not reading anything at all.

It's not exactly something he's never thought about, but he hadn't realised that it was so obvious. Or maybe Eduard was just too perceptive for his own good - he hoped that was the case.

"I don't think Alfred swings that way anyway," he says after a while, not quite as casually as he intended, but luckily Eduard is rifling through a pile of notes, not seeing his faint blush.

"You'll never know if you don't try," he shrugs, "You should just ask him. If you can get a word in against all the nonsense he chats, anyway."

Alfred did talk a lot, yes, but Toris enjoys it so long as he can keep up with the tangents that he sometimes flies into. And it wasn't all nonsense - if you really listened, there was more to him than just loudness and energy.

This was particularly apparent when they were alone. Then, it wasn't unusual for him to talk in, well how could he put it...just a different kind of way, one that led Toris to discover this more rounded side of him. Not that he meant Alfred was a superficial person or anything - really he was pretty damn genuine to all - but just that being on the go as much as he was, and as breezily as he interacted with so many people, he didn't think many (if any) got to see the depths that he did.

And maybe this wasn't all that unique, because wasn't everyone the same? Not many share their deeper thoughts with everyone in everyday conversation now, do they?

But the fact that Alfred could sit on his bed and come out with all sorts of things to him, made him feel kind of special. He'd learnt for example that Alfred jokes to people about math being the end of him, but he doesn't like admitting he'd been close to not making it to college at all until he'd taken extra tutoring; he knows that Alfred has a twin brother who he has little in common with but still 'actually kind of misses', and wishes they were closer; he knows as well that he's got some sort of hang-up about missing out on things and that's why he likes to get involved in so much. 

If Toris is a bit like his confidant then he's fine with being there for him, and it doesn't mean Alfred likes him, just that they feel comfortable around each other. That's what he gets most from Alfred, he suspects; a lingering feeling of lightness, his fun and carefree manner a refreshing break from himself and the stresses he gets himself tangled up in.

Does that mean he wants more than just, hanging out though? The idea of going there, closing that distance between them when they're sat together, is far (far) from unappealing, but feelings get so messy, and...well, he should be focusing on the reason why he's here in the first place. To study, and the grades sure aren't going to achieve themselves.

 ---

 Its just as he's about to pull on his pyjamas, having managed a to-do list for tomorrow's study if not ticked any more off that night, that his phone buzzes, twice in quick succession.

There aren't that many people who message him, and sure enough its the culprit of his earlier distraction.

Hey im so sorry i didnt come over today!! blame my mom, she said she had important news and to skype her ASAP so i ran back and all it was is that shes selling the house!!

-

which is still important lol but i was freaking out so much thinking it was something bad! sorry

He can feel a smile creeping onto his face before he's even halfway through reading, so very much like Alfred it is to sound lively even in text. The fact that he's being thought about too may have contributed to that smile, but he means it when he replies,

You dont have to apologize! You can't ignore moms when they say its important haha. That sounds exciting!

He's barely set the phone down when it buzzes again, but this time its a call - for some reason, this makes him nervous, but before he can over-think he hits answer, grabs his key and slips out of the room so Eduard can't eavesdrop when he comes out the shower.

"Hello?"

"Hey, its me, can you talk?"

"Yeah," he says and pads past other rooms along the hall to sit out on the top step of the flight of stairs. "How are you?"

"I'm good, now!" America chirps down the phone, "Can you believe it though? She could've phrased it in a much better way, she had me so worried!"

"That's true!" Though he could also imagine Alfred doing the same, impulsively sending a message before thinking it through, "Its really fine though!"

"Yeah? You didn't miss me too much?"  

Obviously Toris can't see his face, but he can picture the cheesy and slightly cocky grin all the same.

"Not much," he teases, "I have Ed for company, after all."

"Pssh, I'm much better company than he is! That guy still won't help me with my paper," he grumbles, to which Toris chuckles.

"So you're moving home then?"

"Oh yeah - well to be honest its not even a shock, before we even went to college Mom was making plans to downsize. Just means there wont be as much space to move back so no pressure for finding a job at the end, right!" He laughs loud, in somewhat contradiction to what he's just said, and Toris hopes Alfred's room mate is out or at least not trying to sleep.

"You've got a couple of years to think about that yet," he says, "there'll be room for you to stay for vacations still, right?"

"Yeah, better be. Me and Matt have already said there has to be unless she wants us fighting over who's gonna sleep on the floor!"

"You spoke to him too?"

"Mm!" he imagines Alfred is nodding, "Actually I've been on skype to him most of the night. Its been a while since we talked, you know?"

"Yeah. How is he?"

"Really good! Buried in books he says, but doing okay. He's found a group of hockey nerds so he's been getting crazy with them 'til now I'm sure."

Toris thinks he means this in an affectionate way, considering how he says that he misses the guy, but his flip-flopping in how kindly he describes his brother isn't all that new a phenomenon.

"I think college is suiting him good. I tried to ask about all the girls in those pictures with him on Facebook and he went all red and told me to mind my own business! So he must be doing well, right!" he laughs again and Toris can’t help but smile too.

"You'll have to get some of his secrets," he teases, expecting Alfred to take it in his stride. 

"Yeah, maybe," he sighs, and there's a pause; not sad, just there, and for a second Toris remembers his earlier conversation with Eduard, and whether Alfred likes...

He decides against going there now.

"It's nice you're catching up."

"Yeah. I told him he should visit sometime soon. Hopefully he won't be too mad that not many people know I have a twin, ha ha...but you two would get along well I think."

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh, you're both kinda quiet. And you put up with me! Actually, Matt said that-" 

He waits for the rest, but instead he gets, "actually, nevermind. How was your day?" 

"Um, it was fine but hey I'm curious now!" Toris answered, unsure as to what it could be. 

"Nah, it's nothing. I'll tell you next time I see you. I have to go to a group project before practice tomorrow but hopefully soon?"

"Yeah, sure," Toris replies, "I don't go far!" (which except from the library, was sadly true).

"Cool. Ok, well, goodnight!"

"Night Alfred," he says, and waits for him to hang up. After a few seconds he does, but something about the abrupt end and change of track is nagging at him. It's uncharacteristic of Alfred to be hesitant, but of course he's fully entitled to his privacy. He'll just have to wait and see if he does elaborate later.

He's about to get up when his phone vibrates again, making him jump.

"Hello?"

"Ok so I'm sorry if this weird but basically he said I talked about you so much he couldn't wait to meet you and he was glad that I'd found someone, and I was like what are you talking about and he was like - okay you don't need all of that, and um, do you know what I'm getting at here?"

He talks so fast it takes Toris' mind takes a while to catch up with his ears, and a few moments on top of that to fully process just what he's said.

"I, think I might," he says slowly, butterflies in his stomach.

"Do I? Come across like, I you know... like you."

He wonders what the best answer would be, and truth be told doesn't really know.

"I think only you can answer that," he says softly, and wishes he was there with Alfred now, to reassure the likely puzzled frown furrowed on his face. "For the record though, its not weird."

"It's not?"

"No, it's - it's fine. It's more than fine, actually," and he waits with bated breath for a response.

"Cool," Alfred says, which may not sound like much but he knows, he can just tell, that means he’s happy.

"Listen-," he starts at the same time as Alfred says "So-"; they laugh, nervously but happily, and he lets Alfred continue.

"I've got some stuff to figure out, about this," he says, "but I think you can help. Are you free on Friday?"

"Yes."

"Do you wanna go for a drink? Like, a proper drink. A date drink."

"That would be great," he says, beaming, and he really means it.

 ---

The next morning as he's about to head to the library, Eduard says, "I  don't want to say I told you so, but, I told you so."

"What do you mean?" Toris says as innocently as possible, feigning ignorance.

"Funnily enough, given your denial, something's happened between you and him."

Toris exhales into an exasperated laugh. "I haven't even said anything! How can you possibly know?!"

"You've practically been smiling ever since you woke up."

And throughout the day, whenever he thinks about Friday, it's hard to stop.