#i once got in an argument with a friend because they kept jokingly referring to me as having Bottom Energy

[beaft]

not to sound like a humourless prig but i really do dislike this trend of joking that random people are "tops" or "bottoms" without even knowing if they're, like... okay with that? same goes for the dumb "mommy sorry mommy sorry" trend. same goes for the jokes-that-aren't-jokes where it's literally just "this person is a bottom haha isn't that funny" like here's a notion why don't you take your repackaged homophobia and fuck off back to ancient greece

[ynisamenace]

Headcanons for Tamaki, Bakugou and Eraserhead being in a relationship with dom! black reader

a/n: hi guys, I’m so happy and so grateful for all the follows and notes you guys have given me over the past few days💜. I’m working on a part 2 of ‘Party for One’ but here’s some headcannons I made for the meantime.

Amajiki Tamaki

Tamaki has always been more submissive in general. He tended to be a pushover at times which makes it easier for people to mess with him, which makes his anxiousness skyrocket at times. 

That was until he met you. You became friends with him after he graduated high school, fresh faced and promoted at his hero agency. You caught his eye the first day he came to work at his new office and stuck with him finding his shyness adorable but also helping him improve in his confidence.

He was entranced by your beauty, the way your tiny afro smelled like (favourite scent) when you walked by him, your lovely voice greeting him every morning, the way your vibrant melanin-filled skin contrasts with his paleness; your constant presence made him develop a crush on you but he never had the confidence to tell you to your face.

You of course weren’t aware of his little crush and his jumpiness and nervousness with you because you thought it was just his normal anxiety. It wasn’t until you overheard him talking to his friend and co-worker, Fatgum that you realized what it really was.

After that you actively sought out Tamaki just to see him be so flustered by your presence 😏 but after a while you had pity on the poor boy and asked him out for coffee and it all went uphill from there.

Loves buying you flowers and dropping them at your desk before you come into work every morning. Seeing your face light up as you read the little notes he leaves you makes the butterflies in his stomach flutter. He just loves seeing you smile in general this man is so whipped😩

He asked you to move in together after the first 4 months of dating and although you disagreed at the time, after your 6 months anniversary and him basically pleading about it every 5 mins, you finally gave in cause how could you say no to that face🥺

NSFW below

As soon as you officially moved in with him, Tamaki before more affectionate... way more affectionate. Cuddles, kisses, squeezes; everything he could to show you how physically attracted he was to you.

The topic of sex comes up one day when you’re both on the couch, you on his lap and him trailing kisses down your neck. You’ve never gone past steamy make out sessions with eachother but it was clear that you both were very much ready to take the next step

Despite his shy demeanor, Tamaki is way more confident as well as loud in the bedroom. Loud whimpers as you trail your nails down his abs which turn into loud moans as you free his cock from his briefs giving him the best handjobs he’s ever gotten.

Tamaki sometimes does feel insecure about your relationship and about you having to have asked him out first, so he tends to overcompensate in the bedroom. This man is a huge power top. He loves making you feel good, he loves you telling him what to do and will do anything you ask with no hesitation.

Could eat you out for breakfast everyday if he could and definitely incorporates his quirk into it👀. Loves when you trap his head between your thighs it makes him feel warm. He loves when you tie him to the bed and edge him for hours on end while kissing his pretty tears away. He gets off on being vulnerable with you like that and has the most mind blowing orgasms once you decide to take pity on him.

Loves when you sit in his lap and let him suckle on your nipples while caressing his hair. Soft moments like that are what make him fall in love with you even more. Pegging also makes him fall in love with you even more, but more in a sexual manner. Looks at you like a goddess whenever you have his legs spread out, driving your strap-on into him so hard it makes his eyes cross.

Aftercare is so soft and private with you two. Untying his limbs from the bed, putting ointment and kisses on his bruises, cleaning him up with a wet rag and finally laying next to him on the bed, his face in your chest as you whisper praises and sweet nothings into his hair. God he was going to marry you one day.

Bakugou Katsuki

 Bakugou met you while in U.A High but didn’t start dating you until almost 3 years after graduation You had never interacted that much in high school as you always saw him as the immature, rash and not considerate of others feelings

  He gave off an air of someone commanding and who would never submit and you had never really cared for such men; the macho ‘call-me-daddy’ type men he actually did jokingly tell you to once when you guys were arguing which just made you steer clear of him more, angering him further.

 After graduating, Bakugou became more mature, choosing to develop himself into a better person than he was in high school, and became the no 2 hero of Japan, creating his own hero agency. You started working at his agency 2 years after graduation, you also steadily climbing the ranks of the hero world landing in the top ten heroes list. He began harbouring a crush on you soon after, looking for ways to finally confess to you but were still adamant on avoiding him, still believing him to be the same immature boy that he was in highschool.

  One day, Bakugou couldn’t take it anymore and cornered you in a hallway, confessing quickly while a light blush was dusted on his cheeks. He also apologized for the way he acted in highschool and basically pleaded to go on a date with you although he’ll never admit it lol

   After his confession, you both started hanging out more both at work and outside of work. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend after the third date when he came to your apartment to cook your favourite dish for you after a grueling day at work and you happily agreed as long as he promised to continue cooking for you which led to you two moving in together a year later.

  Dating the number 2 hero in Japan was not easy to say the least. Late night and early mornings plagued both of your lives, sometimes not being able to catch eachother at home at the same time for weeks on end. This led to arguments that turned into silent treatments until you both came to your senses and apologized to one another. He hates fighting with you, fearing you’ll leave him due to his occasional outbursts.

  When you guys do fight, he apologizes through gift giving and cuddles, since he’s not very good with words. Loves buying you brightly coloured clothes and jewelry that matches your skin tone because you look ethereal to him in them. Sometimes steals glances at you just to admire your skin and whatever protective style you’re wearing.

NSFW below

   You and Bakugou had a long talk before you both started getting intimate. Although he was more mature, he still didn’t want to be submissive in the bedroom as he thought it would make him less ‘masculine’. He kept refusing until you managed to wear him down one day, him grumbling about how stupid it would be.

  Oh how wrong he was because this man thrives off of your dominance now. A bratty power bottom, he loves making you put him in his place, which is always under you. Something about you having the confidence to ‘dominate’ the number 2 hero in Japan makes him melt. Is very much into cock and ball torture and just humiliation and degradation in general. Loves seeing you in leather cause it gives you that dominatrix look that makes him whimper

  Very teary eyed when getting pegged and loves when you grab his hair to pull him back and lick his tears away. But at the same time, loves when you mercilessly keep pounding into him despite his tears, choking back a sob as he orgasms for the umpteenth time.

  Is the type of sub that looks like a dom out in public but has a vibrating buttplug inside him during meetings as he glances to you as you smirk and turn up the intensity every few seconds.

  The biggest brat ever omg he will rile you up on purpose just so that you can punish him by locking him in a chastisy cage and riding his favourite strap on you put on him, all while denying him the pleasure of touching you. That’s when he begs the most, mind dumb and babbling nonsense until you finally let his pretty little cock out.

  Aftercare is in equal parts for both of you as sometimes you get dom drop after long sessions. He knows that it can make you feel guilty o sometimes regretful and makes sure to tell you how much he loves you after every session. You also reassure him that he is more than enough for you, limbs tangled together in bed as you doze off next to him.

   His lips curl into a little smile as he falls asleep as well, thinking of you and the engagement ring he’s yet to give you in his bedside drawer.

Shota Aizawa

 Aizawa had never actively looked for people to date. He felt like he had too much on his plate already with class 1-A and didn’t think anyone would be willing to date someone whose life was so hectic. So when you joined U.A as a new teacher in class in class 1-B, he didn’t bat an eye only glancing at you at times as you pass the hallway.

 Glances turned into stares which turned into thinking about you and how your mini twists framed your face so perfectly and how soft your skin looked and how your darks eyes drew him in and-

 Fuck

  Ok so maybe he did have space on his plate for dating cause duh look at you.  He asked you out by whispering in your ear during homeroom one day as he dropped off a stack of papers on your desk. You were taken aback by his boldness but accepted nonetheless. You didn’t know it, but Aizawa had fallen for you long before he got the balls to ask you out😏

 You dated for 3 years and lived together after 2 until you walked into the kitchen one morning and saw him on one knee, flowers petals everywhere and a small smile as he asks “Marry me?” You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry oh to be proposed to by Shota Aizawa😭

 He loves referring to you as his wife and loves when you come to 1-A to give him his bento box, even though he acts like he hates it. Let’s you in his sleeping bag for a nap in the break room, even though Present Mic comes in to annoy both of you most of the time.

 Melts when he sees you interacting with the kids in 1-A, even heard Deku slip up and call you mom once when you came to his class to greet him.

 Nsfw below

 Speaking of kids guess who has a big fat breeding kink. Even though you both know you’re not exactly prepared to have kids at the moment, the risk that comes with him making love to you raw turns him on. You definitely exploit his kink by telling degrading him, saying how he doesn’t deserve to cum inside you with his useless cock and that just makes him want to prove you wrong, rutting into you faster as he whimpers about making you feel good.

  Loves when you take him from behind and bend him on a surface and fucking him like a little whore, scarf stuffed into his mouth as a make-shift gag when he gets too loud. Especially when you do it on one of the desks in his classroom after hours, the embarrassment of a seeing a student sitting on it the next day making his brain fog and his cum leak out, painting the floor and the desk white as he spasms in your hold, tongue lolling out as you press him to the floor to clean up his mess.

  Is into somnophilia and has woken up many times to you bouncing on his cock, refusing to let him cum until you’re satisfied with the amount of orgasms he’s given you.

 Has definitely sniffed your panties before, even pocketing them into his dress pants and taking them to work with him, all so he can use them to fist his cock in the staff restrooms, panting like a dog in heat as sobs your name into his hand, secretly wanting to get caught by you.

 He loves your aftercare so much. Running baths for both of you, kissing the hickeys and scratches you left on him and letting him lay in your arms when his body gives out. Genuinely loves pushing past his limits with you because he knows he trusts you.

  Definitely the best husband and the best lover ever 10/10 would recommend.

Tags: @itzgabz22

[be11atrixthestrange]

Step 8: Navigating Arguments

Also, for all those asks for a Romione first time... this the chapter for you!

From 12 Fail-Safe Ways To Charm Hermione Granger

As your relationship deepens, expect disagreements to surface. All couples fight, but pay attention to the way you fight. Do your best to establish healthy and productive habits by focusing on your own feelings and actions, and never attack your partner's character. Remember that you're arguing with someone you love.

******

Ron and Hermione were no strangers to fighting, and ultimately, Ron was thankful for that. Their friendship was based on an argument— If Ron hadn't called her a nightmare back in their first year, she would never have ended up crying in the girls' bathroom. And if she hadn't been crying in the girls' bathroom, she wouldn't have needed saving from a Mountain Troll.

That was the argument that began their friendship, but there were many more that defined it. In the third year, he thought he'd never talk to her again because her cat definitely ate his rat. But as it turned out, Crookshanks was innocent, his rat was really a middle-aged killer, and he missed her so much that he would have forgiven her even without those valid reasons.

Their fight at the Yule Ball in their fourth year also stood out as a defining moment. Hermione still thought of that as the moment when he finally realized she was a girl, but she was wrong. That was the moment he knew that other people realized she was a girl, and he convinced himself he was entirely undeserving of her attention.

He still cringed when he remembered their estrangement during year six, which Hermione now referred to as 'The Lavender Days." It might have taken a canary attack, but that fight showed him that they ultimately felt the same way about each other. Dating someone else for five months might not have been the most efficient way of discovering that, but it ultimately worked..

They could fight like dragons, but they always resolved them, even back when they just called each other friends. Their fights didn't end when their relationship began, and it would have been naive to assume so.

They argued about where to spend holidays, and splitting their vacation time equally between the Burrow and Australia frequently required a spreadsheet and a third party. They argued about dirty dishes, and messy rooms, and what to make for dinner. They even rowed about muggle movies, and whether to watch a romantic comedy or an action film. Ron only doubled down on his opinion there, because he believed more men needed to admit their love for romance films.

Ginny and Harry jokingly referred to their bickering as foreplay. Despite his initial embarrassment at their observation, he knew there was some truth to it. Their arguments remained a constant feature of their relationship as they progressed from friends to lovers, but making up— that got much better.

Before, when they were just friends, making up meant a handshake, or a hug, or a promise that they could talk to one another again. Now, making up meant hours in the bedroom, under the covers, naked. He'd developed a certain pride in how many ways he could say "I'm sorry," without speaking a word, and she'd gotten quite good at convincing him that all was forgiven.

Today he was pretty confident that they could get through any fight, but it hadn't always been that way. The first few major arguments of their relationship didn't have a solution in sight, and it took time to figure out how to row with one another in a way that didn't deepen their divide. When long estrangements ceased to work, they had to figure out how to fight productively, which took time. Sharing his feedback on their relationship was risky, but Ron soon found out that with that risk, came a big reward.

******

Harry and Ron both moved into Grimmauld Place and started Auror training soon after Hermione and Ginny left for Hogwarts. The long, empty schedules of summer felt so far away when they were suddenly faced with twelve-hour training shifts. Ron jumped into training enthusiastically because it was something to do, and it filled his time enough to get his mind off of missing Hermione.

He looked forward to writing her lengthy letters once a week, describing his days in as much detail as he was authorized to give. It was no substitute for talking to her, but it was the closest thing he had, so he cherished that time. She wrote back too, and he tried to imagine what it would be like to be with her at Hogwarts, based on the details she provided in her letters.

Luckily, Ron didn't have to wait until the Christmas holidays in order to see her. Her birthday fell on the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year, and he was able to get a day off of Auror training to meet her. It was a weekend to remember— they started at the Three Broomsticks, and caught up over a few rounds of butterbeer. Ron learned of all the details about school life that she hadn't mentioned in her letters, and she surprised him by agreeing to take a few shots of firewhiskey. They inched closer to one another with each passing sip, and it wasn't long before Ron was grateful they'd picked a booth in the back of the bar, hidden from view.

He could have stayed there all day, with Hermione in his lap, tasting the alcohol on her breath, but eventually, Madam Rosmerta forced them to leave. Madam Rosmerta who? Ron could hardly remember why the barmaid had caught his attention for so many years at Hogwarts. Bloody mental, he was. Madam Rosmerta was far from his mind when he pulled Hermione into an empty alley behind the bar, slipped his hands behind her thighs, and picked her up. He pressed her back against the brick wall as she wrapped her legs around him, and he wondered how many more secret Hogsmeade snogging spots they'd never gotten the chance to discover.

School must have picked up in October, because her letters were shorter. He still enjoyed reading them, but even more, he wished he could be there to relieve some of her stress— preferably in an alley behind a bar. He did his best to fill in the gaps, kept his letters as long and detailed as possible, and hoped that they'd be able to catch up fully during their next Hogsmeade weekend.

It was the end of October when he saw her again. They had planned to meet at the same place. Unfortunately when he arrived at the Three Broomsticks, the private booth they had enjoyed last month was taken, so he set himself up in one nearby, and simply hoped Hermione would see him.

She came rushing in after Ron had already finished his first butterbeer, and apologized for her lateness. Although he was well aware of her tendency to lose track of time in the library, there was a part of him that felt slightly offended. He didn't want to spend his only day with Hermione brooding, so he ordered a few more rounds of drinks, and listened intently as Hermione filled him in on the details of the previous month. She spoke of her homework load, her Head Girl duties, and lamented her lack of free time to write to him. He slipped his arm around her, stroked her hair, and pushed aside the hurt from earlier. It wasn't long before she was leaning against him, stroking his thigh, and he turned to kiss her.

It wasn't as frenzied as last month. She never made it to his lap, and Madam Rosmerta didn't need to kick them out. When they strolled down the high street, and he tried to guide her into that empty alley, their empty alley, she resisted.

"I have to get back to the library, Ron."

She looked away when she said it, and Ron assumed it was so she didn't have to see his face fall. He sighed.

"That's ok," he said, and he wrapped her in his arms for another kiss before letting her go. It was shorter and more chaste than he wanted it to be, but he cherished the contact either way.

He continued to write to her after that weekend, and she continued to respond, but her letters grew shorter and shorter. It seemed she had written most of them in the library in between essays. Based on her rushed responses, school was overwhelming. She had taken on more NEWTS than anyone else, and it was all starting to catch up to her.

He wanted to believe that was the only reason behind her disappointingly concise letters, but his resentment was growing. He was busy too, and he still looked forward to spending hours writing to her, because had no one else he wanted to share his life with. An old insecurity began to resurface with every hastily written note— he knew it was mental, but maybe she had someone else to talk to, so writing him felt redundant.

Before their November Hogsmeade weekend, Ron booked a room at the Hog's Head. He knew better than to think she'd be able to spend the night with him, but it meant that she could see him two days in a row, and there'd be a place for her to really unwind, away from the prying eyes of anyone at the Three Broomsticks. They still met at the bar, in the same private booth as their first trip.

Even though he expected her to arrive late and slightly frenzied, he was still annoyed when she did. He offered her a butterbeer, partially hoping that she would catch his stiff tone, but she didn't even notice. Hermione started rambling on and on about her schoolwork, her Head Girl duties, and the stress she felt at school. He listened intently as she described her daily life in detail, and he couldn't help but wish she had included it all in her letters.

They left on their own when the pub closed, and no one had to kick them out. Hermione turned toward the road that would take her back to Hogwarts, and Ron reached for her hand.

"Don't go back yet," he said, pulling her back around to face him. "I got us a room."

He expected she'd need some convincing, and was prepared for it.

"Ron, I can't stay the night—"

"I wasn't expecting you to!" he assured her.. 'I just figured we could use some alone time. And then you can come back tomorrow." He tugged on her arm, trying to pull her into his arms, but she resisted.

"Ron, I can't—," she looked at him apologetically. "I don't have any free time tomorrow."

"It's a Sunday, what else have you got?" he was still holding onto her arm, half-heartedly trying to pull her into a hug, but she just stood still, unresponsive to his touch.

"I have a meeting with the prefects, four essays to finish, and I need to start revising for exams."

"That's a lot for a Sunday," said Ron, noting the hint of frustration in his voice.

"Well I scheduled everything on Sunday to make room to see you today, so yeah, it's busier than normal."

Her words felt like a punch in his stomach. "Well thank you for making room for me, Hermione, I'm sorry I'm hard to fit into your schedule."

"Ron," she said, sounding hurt. "You can't be mad about that."

"Well, I'm upset," he returned. Something, whether it be anger, frustration, or hurt was boiling up inside of him. "It kind of sounds like you don't want to be around me."

"That's not true!" she said. "I just wish you had told me."

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"I hate surprises," she said. "If we had planned this out earlier, I might have been able to schedule around it." She had slipped out of his grasp and was now facing him with her arms crossed.

"Plan it out? You hardly write to me anymore. I have no fucking clue what's going on in your life, how am I supposed to know what your schedule looks like if you don't talk to me!"

She took a step back, looking affronted. "Ron I write to you every week."

"And you hardly say anything."

"Well I'm sorry my letters aren't detailed enough, I'm doing my best to keep up with yours."

Ron froze, playing her words over and over again in his head. She was making room for him. Doing her best to keep up with his letters. Adjusting her schedule to fit him in. All of it sounded like he was just another chore on Hermione's to-do list. A burden.

"Do you still want to be with me?" The words were out of his mouth before he could think to filter them.

She stared at him, her lip quivering. "Of course I do. Why would you say that?"

"It just sounds like I'm stressing you out," he shrugged. He felt his own face burning hot, and even though it felt like a regression of their relationship, he willed himself not to cry in front of her.

"It's not you—," she started.

"Is there someone else, Hermione?" He braced himself for her answer.

"No! How could you think that!" She was crying now. He wanted to run to her and wipe the tears from her face, but he willed himself to stay rooted to the spot.

"I just had to ask," he said, as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

Ron watched the image in his head of how he'd planned the night dissipate. He and Hermione were supposed to be enjoying a bottle of wine in their private hotel room right now. He'd hoped they'd spend this night reconnecting, both verbally and non verbally. He definitely hadn't planned for them to be standing five feet away from each other in a cold alley, arms crossed, and holding back tears.

"I really should go back," she finally said, avoiding his eye contact.

"Fine," he said, resisting the temptation to pull her into a hug, kiss her, and tell her he loved her. He knew she wouldn't respond with the level of enthusiasm that would make him feel any better.

"I'll see you at Christmas."

"I'll see you at Christmas," he responded stiffly. He waited until she walked away before he let his tears fall, and disapparated back to Grimmauld Place.

Ron approached letter-writing with far less enthusiasm after their fight in Hogsmeade, but was grateful for some correspondence, however flat it seemed. They wrote to each other simply to make plans for the Holidays. Hermione was planning to spend the first week of Christmas at Grimmauld Place with him, before spending the second half in Australia with her parents.

He was pleased to learn that he was still invited to visit her parents, but unfortunately, Auror training didn't leave him with a long enough break to join her. His anxiety to see her again was growing, but he had no idea what to expect from their reunion. They had a lot to discuss since their last Hogsmeade date. Although he was committed to a calm conversation, they didn't have the best track record when it came to rational discussions.

Luckily, any tension he felt quickly melted away when she arrived. He felt a wave of relief when she collapsed into his arms as soon as she saw him, almost knocking him over.

"Hi," she murmured into his shoulder.

"Hi," he said, chuckling. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." She held him at arm's length, and lovingly brushed some of his fringe away from his eyes.

Ron smiled and tightened his grip on her waist, tugging her closer. Their lips met, and she moved her hands from his shoulders to his hair, and at least for a few moments, they forgot about any potential arguments on their horizon.

The conversation didn't come up until later that night. When she slid under the covers with him and her head landed on his chest, he automatically turned toward her and tangled his fingers in her hair before kissing her firmly on the top of her head.

"I love you so much," he told her.

"I love you too," she said sincerely. The unexpected wave of relief he felt indicated a fear he hadn't yet recognized he had. "You know that, right?" she continued, now looking up at him.

Her head slid off his chest and they turned to face each other. "Yeah. I know that."

She turned her gaze to her hand, which was tracing the scars on Ron's arm. "What went wrong?"

He knew they couldn't avoid the conversation any longer, so he took a deep breath before answering. "I know you love me, I just didn't really feel that way over the past few months." He felt her stiffen in his arms, and he tensed too, preparing for an angry retort.

But it never came. Instead, Hermione's eyebrows furrowed and she propped herself up on her shoulder. "You don't?" she asked in a small voice.

At this point Ron was aware of his own insecurities, and knew full well that Hermione might call them out. There was a part of him that wanted to shove this conversation under the rug, because he thought he shouldn't be insecure, and it might come across as needy, and she might not find that attractive. But he also knew that this was simply how he felt, it was affecting them, and it was valid even if it didn't make sense to her. He took another deep breath, and spoke with a shaky voice. "I questioned it a lot over the last few months, to be honest."

Hermione's eyes watered with tears, but she didn't say anything. She gently nodded for him to continue.

Ron hadn't really prepared to elaborate, which he now realized was a mistake. He didn't have a solution for her, and he didn't have a reason to tell her that didn't sound like blame. But he had her attention, so he continued, hoping the fact that his words weren't perfectly curated didn't come back later to bite him. "We hardly spoke. Your letters were so short. I couldn't help but feel like you rushed them, which made me worry you thought writing to me was a chore. Then our Hogsmeade weekends didn't go as planned, and I just kind of spiraled into thinking that you didn't miss me, which made me worry that you didn't love me—"

"That's why you thought I had met someone else? I had no idea you felt that way," she said, cutting him off. She snaked her arms around his neck so she was pressed up against him. "I'm sorry, Ron."

"It's ok," said Ron, even though it wasn't.

"I was just so stressed with school, and I couldn't really spend time with you, so I did my best to focus on classes so I didn't miss you too much. I thought if I could just get through this year, then we could go back to how things were over the summer. And honestly, I did think of writing to you as a chore, because it was a horrible substitute for actually talking to you, and just made me miss you more. I dreaded it."

Ron's stomach sank when she said that. Writing to Hermione was his favorite part of the week, and the fact that she didn't feel the same way really stung.

They laid there silently for a while, as neither seemed to have much to say. What was there to say? He hated it when she didn't write, and she hated writing to him. It seemed like there wasn't a solution.

"What do you want me to do?" she eventually asked.

Ron winced. He didn't want to tell her she had to do anything. He just wanted it to be simple.

"Ron, I'm not good at this," she said.

"Not good at what?"

"All of it," she said, motioning around her like she was referring to the room they were in. "I'm not good at being a girlfriend. Reading your mind. Knowing how to make sure you know I love you. Writing it in a letter doesn't feel sincere to me."

"That's not true," he told her. "You're a good girlfriend." Although she had a point, something was missing, and there were many times this past fall when he had felt like he didn't even have a girlfriend. He didn't know if he could make it six more months like that, unless something changed. "I just hate how much happened this fall that I knew nothing about. I just want to know everything. Sorry if that sounds needy."

"So you want me to write to you more. Is it that simple?" she asked earnestly.

Ron groaned. "Hermione, it's not a want. I need you to write to me more."

She looked at him contemplatively. "If it means that much to you, I can do that."

"Really?"

She nodded. "I didn't know how it made you feel when I didn't write."

"Even though you hate writing to me?"

"Ron I don't hate writing to you. It just stresses me out and makes me sad," she turned to look him in the eyes. "But it's better than knowing you feel like this."

"Thank you," he said. He pulled her back in for another hug, this time turning to his back so she was on top of him. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it felt a lot better that she knew how he felt. "I love you."

"McGonagall did say," said Hermione thoughtfully, before she shook her head, evidently deciding against continuing that thought. "I love you too."

"What did she say?" asked Ron.

Hermione sighed. "She said I could use her floo in emergencies. But on second thought, I don't think she would consider needing to see my boyfriend an emergency."

"Can you ask her?"

"Ron—"

"Please."

Hermione sighed, then nodded. "I'll ask her. Because I love you."

Ron beamed at her, then captured her lips with his. A year ago, Ron had just returned to the horcrux hunt, and would never have dared to tell her he needed more from her. Back then, he was simply grateful she was speaking to him, and he figured he'd spend the rest of his life making up for leaving her. They really had come a long way, and maybe he had finally done enough to earn his keep.

Ron felt her snake her arms around his neck, which only made him want to kiss her more fervently, so he did. He pulled the hem of her shirt up and off her head, before tugging at his own, and tossing both to the side of the bed.

He smiled at the view before him. Some things he would never get used to. His lips crashed back into hers before he trailed kisses down her neck, dragging his hand from her breast to the buttons on her jeans. She helped him slide her jeans off until she was down to her knickers, and then shimmied his way back up to her smiling face for another kiss. He kept his lips on hers as he kicked his own trousers off, and when they broke apart, she moved her mouth to his neck. Ron felt her teeth gently bite down into the soft flesh of his neck and he groaned almost involuntarily.

"Fuck, Hermione."

He felt her hand slide down his body and slip inside his pants. She smiled approvingly at his very evident excitement to see her, and shifted lower on his body, trailing kisses down his stomach. Ron propped himself up on his elbows just in time to see her tug his erection free from his pants, and slide her mouth over the tip.

"Merlin," he heard himself say before he collapsed back on the bed in surrender, tangling one hand into her messy hair while the other gripped his bedsheets. His heart rate picked up when she dug her fingers into his thigh, and he knew she had to feel his pulse against her tongue. He quickly lost interest in controlling the volume of his voice, and it didn't take very long before he felt himself spill into her mouth and unleash a string of expletives when she swallowed.

He had barely recovered when she kissed her way back up his torso to his neck. She turned to her back, and tugged his arm so he shifted on top of her. "I love you," she whispered in his ear.

He pressed his lips to her neck, contemplating his many options for returning the favor. "Love you too."

He placed his forehead on hers to look her in the eye, and felt himself growing hard again when she bit her lip and looked at him shyly. "What do you want me to do for you?" he whispered, before leaning in for another brief kiss, gently tugging her lower lip with his teeth when he pulled away. "I'll do anything for you."

Hermione smiled sheepishly at him. "I did the charm."

Ron raised his eyebrows. "The charm?"

She nodded.

Ron felt his stomach tighten in nerves. At this point, they had pretty much done everything they could do without having sex. They'd been dancing around the topic for quite some time, so he had an inkling that it would come up over the holiday. But he stopped himself from getting too hopeful since things had been feeling off between them. "Are...are you sure?"

She nodded again. "Do you know your charm?"

"Yes," he said. "I know it."

"So, you should do it then," she said. "Unless you need more time to recover."

They both glanced down between them, where Ron's erection was awake and ready to go. Hermione chuckled.

"I don't think I need any more time." He shifted off of her and reached for his wand, before pointing it at himself and muttering the incantation that his brothers had embarrassingly made him memorize years ago.

Hermione hooked her fingers over the hem of his pants, and slid them down his legs. He stepped one leg out at a time, until he was completely starkers. Even though she had seen him naked many times before, he suddenly felt exposed. His face was red when he tugged at her knickers. She lifted her hips for him and he pulled them to her ankles, before she kicked them off and onto the floor where the rest of their clothes lay.

He steadied himself on top of her, shifting his hips between her legs. "One more time, you're sure?"

She nodded and opened her legs wider in answer.

Ron looked down and used his hand to rest himself at her opening. "Just tell me if you need me to stop, ok?"

"I will," she said.

He pressed forward, guiding himself slowly into her, watching her facial expressions for any sign of discomfort. When she looped her arm around his back and encouraged him closer, he pressed a little more firmly, and watched his erection start to disappear inside her.

He heard a sharp intake of breath and looked up to see she was wincing.

"Sorry!" he said, and he started to pull out, but she gripped his hips with her hand to stop him.

"No, stay," she said. "Just go slow."

Ron took a deep breath and pressed himself back in until she winced again and he stopped. "Is this ok?"

"Yes," she said, a little more high-pitched than normal.

"Ok," he answered, but he didn't move.

"You can go further."

"I don't want to hurt you," he said as he dropped a kiss to her lips.

"It's not that bad," she said sympathetically.

Ron chuckled. "That's what every guy wants to hear on their first time."

"That's not what I meant," laughed Hermione. She wrapped her legs around his lower back and pressed him the rest of the way, letting out another sharp exhale as their hips met. "Ok, let me get used to you."

Ron stayed perfectly still, save for his lips, which went immediately to her neck as he kissed her right below her jawbone. "Get used to me, huh?"

"Well yes," she said, running her fingernails up in circles on his back. "You're quite big."

"That's more like it," he said. He gently tugged some of the soft skin on her neck between his teeth, and could almost feel her rolling her eyes.

"Ok, you can move now," she said.

Ron propped himself back up on his forearms, and dropped another kiss to her lips, before he slowly started moving his hips back and forth, sliding in and out of her. "This ok?"

She nodded, and he continued. It wasn't smooth or graceful by any means, quite clumsy actually, and Ron was grateful for all the time they had spent in bed together before this moment. He was with the only person he trusted to share this awkward attempt at sex, and the self-consciousness he could have felt was far overshadowed by his gratitude for Hermione in that moment.

He watched her focused expression, which was distinctly different than the one he saw when she was about to let go, and he was relieved that he knew how to please her in other ways. He had a backup plan.

He steadied his hips to kiss her again. "I love you so fucking much," he said when he broke free. He knew he wouldn't last much longer, so he propped himself up on his arms again and picked up the pace of his hips. "Fuck, Hermione," he said as she tightened her legs around him and tugged on his hair, and soon enough he buried his face in her hair, muffling the sound of her name that escaped his lips.

He collapsed on top of her, and she untwined her legs from behind him. With one last kiss, he rolled off to his side, and turned to face her, smiling. "I love you too," she said. He ran a thumb across her cheek.

He smiled. "That was brilliant. For me."

She simply smiled.

"I'm sorry you didn't—"

"It's ok," she interrupted. "I didn't expect it the first time."

He slid his hand from her cheek to her breast. "We still have time," he said, eyebrows raised. She grinned and closed her eyes as dragged his fingers down her body, gently parting her legs for his fingers.

"We have our whole lives," she said. He smiled as she bit her lip, and he slipped his fingers between her thighs.

Our whole lives, he thought. He could deal with that.

[phoenixstartedthefire]

Late Nights and Candlelights

Okay so this was just some self indulgent fic that I wrote that I actually like. This is just the first half since the whole thing won't fit here. It doesn't really have a plot if I'm being honest. But enjoy I guess and let me know if you want me to post the rest of it. The whole thing is currently posted on my ao3 which is the same as my username on here. So you can check it out there if you want.

TW\\ discussion and usage of cigarettes

The smell of cheap cigarettes was prominent in the small bedroom down the hall and next to the bathroom in a cottage in Wales. It was a warm summer night. The only light to be seen other than the scattering of tiny bright stars in the black sky was the lamp in the bedroom. It gave off a warm glow and attracted a few moths towards the window from which it was emitting. The sound of boisterous laughter disrupted the peaceful silence that surrounded the residence. 

“You’re so fucking ridiculous,” Remus spoke through a fit of laughter.

“I’ve got a point though, don’t I?” Sirius pointed out, sitting on the bed next to the open window and smoking a cigarette. 

“Just because Slughorn has a moustache, does not make him a walrus pretending to be a human.” Remus refuted, baffled this was something that had to be said.

“Well, have you ever seen Sluggy and a walrus in the same room?” Sirius asked, as though this was indisputable proof of his point.

“I’ve never seen a walrus in general! Does that mean everyone I know is secretly a walrus?”

“But not everyone you know looks like a walrus.” 

"You're an idiot," Remus said breathlessly. Sirius rested the hand with the cigarette on the windowsill and used the other to playfully shove his friend. 

"I think you mean genius." 

"No I don't," Remus reassured him. Sirius flicked the ashes of his cigarette out the window and raised it to his mouth once more. "Those are bad for you, you know." 

Sirius just rolled his eyes, "You want one?" 

Remus just sighed. "Hand it over." Sirius grinned and passed one to him. 

"That's what I thought." 

"Shut up. We both need to quit." Remus remarked while lighting his cigarette with the lighter he nicked from his dad the summer before.

"Eh. What's life without a little risk?" 

"That's not an excuse to do stupid shit." 

Sirius chuckled, "Like I need an excuse."   

Remus put the lighter back in the drawer of his nightstand as he raised the cancer stick to his mouth. It burned in his throat and he resisted the urge to cough. Lily Evans liked to say Sirius was a bad influence and Remus was starting to suspect she was right. Not that he would do anything about it. Not only was he quite fond of the dark-haired reckless boy sitting on his bed, but Remus specialised in self-destructive behaviours. Which would explain the smoking. "When are your parents coming home?" Sirius asked. 

"What's the date?"

"Ninth of August." 

"About two days," Remus answered. His parents were in France for the summer holiday. They trusted Remus to stay at home. Which was a very dumb decision. 

Sirius nodded and threw his spent cigarette out the window. "I should probably leave tomorrow then."

"You don't have to. My parents won't mind." Remus tried to act casually. Like he didn't care either way. He wasn't sure if it was working. Perhaps the nicotine was already messing with his brain. It would explain a lot. Like why his heart rate increased exponentially when Sirius breathed out a laugh. 

"You really think they won't mind this?" Sirius gestured to himself. He was wearing a faded leather jacket over a black Sex Pistols t-shirt. His clunky combat boots were on the bed, much to Remus' chagrin.

"The only thing they'll mind is that you're wearing shoes on the bed. Take those off." Remus nudged Sirius' leg with his elbow. Sirius rolled his eyes and kicked off his shoes. Remus took another drag from his cigarette, causing his heart rate to increase once more. He needed to quit.

"As you wish, your majesty," Sirius said sarcastically, earning a light elbow to the side from Remus, who was trying hard to stifle a smile. "Are you sure they won't mind though? I wouldn't want them thinking a rebellious bad boy like myself is corrupting their perfect son."

Remus snorted, "Did you just refer to yourself as a bad boy?" 

"Well, how would you describe me?" Sirius challenged jokingly.

A plethora of words came to mind that Remus would never say. Instead, he said, "Self-centred dork with a disregard for authority." 

“Rude!” 

Remus shrugged, “You asked.” 

“I figured it would be something like ‘devilishly handsome and courageous’. I wasn’t expecting to be slandered.” 

“And that sentence proves my point.” 

“Okay, I can see the self-centred thing and disregard for authority. But I am not a dork.” 

“You spent a week learning origami so you could fuck with McGonagall by turning in a swan as your homework,” Remus recalled. 

“That was not dorky. That was very punk rock.” Sirius said in his defence. 

Remus laughed, “That is the furthest thing from punk rock.” 

“I was dismantling the flawed education system. That is punk rock,” Sirius disputed, though he had a smile on his face. 

“You were being a prat, that’s what you were doing.” Remus corrected him.

“Do you remember the look on her face, though? That was priceless.” 

“She looked like she wanted to murder someone. Most likely you.” 

The sound of the grandfather clock in the living room striking twelve diverted them from their discussion. 

“Are you sure you want me to stay?” Sirius asked and Remus made the mistake of facing him. The answer was yes. It was always going to be yes. Even if the answer was no, it would be impossible to say that to the pretty grey eyes that were staring back at him. 

“Yeah,” Remus answered and hated that his voice cracked like he was an awkward thirteen-year-old boy again. He hoped Sirius didn’t notice. He shrugged out of his leather jacket, mumbling something about how hot it was. 

"I think we should do something tomorrow. Last day of freedom, you know?” 

Remus raised an eyebrow at him dubiously, “What are you suggesting?” Knowing Sirius, it was likely something illegal.

“Okay, hear me out,” Sirius reached under the pillow closest to him and extracted a glass bottle of-

“No.” 

“C’mon, it’ll be fun.” 

“Where did you even get that?” He asked and he knew he would regret asking it but he couldn’t help it.

“Got it in town. As long as you look seventeen, the bloke at the pub will sell you whatever you want.”

Remus sighed, and they both knew he was eventually going to give in. Because Remus always gave in. Especially when it came to Sirius. That didn’t mean he was giving in without any argument though. “That's illegal." 

Sirius just shrugged and a dark strand of his hair fell in his face. "Since when has that stopped me?" 

"We better not get caught." Remus conceded. 

Sirius grinned triumphantly. "Yes! Knew you'd come around!" 

"Yes well, I seem to be incapable of saying no to you," Remus admitted. 

"And I'd like it to stay that way." 

Remus was going to suggest they go to bed before he did something very very self-destructive. Until-

"What was that?" 

"The light went out, you dipshit." 

"Well yeah, I can see that. But why?"

"Well if you give me a second, I can find out." Remus felt around his nightstand and found the string to turn on his lamp. He pulled it and it made the clicking noise that it usually did. It didn't work. He tried it again. 

"What's wrong with it?" 

"Not sure. Maybe a dead bulb." Remus went to unscrew the light bulb. But of course, it was hot. He swore and pulled his hand away, feeling like a complete idiot. 

"Did you just burn your hand?"

"What does it look like?" Remus retorted in a sarcastic tone. 

"It doesn't look like anything. I can't fucking see."

Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius was right though. Now that the light was out, it was near impossible to tell whether his eyes were open or closed. It was quite off-putting. He felt something warm and solid press against his side as he tried to assess the damage on his burned hand. It was almost comforting. Until Sirius jabbed him in the eye. "Sirius! Ow!" He swatted the boy off of him. 

"What?" 

"You poked my eye, you wanker." 

"I was trying to figure out where you were," Sirius explained, not sounding remotely apologetic. 

"I haven't moved since the bloody light went out. Now move. Maybe I can find a candle or something." Remus said and slid off of his bed. 

"Need help?" Sirius offered. 

"Just stay here and don't break anything." He advised. 

He heard Sirius scoff, "You really think I'm so irresponsible that I'll break something as soon as you leave the room?" 

"Yes. As a matter of fact, I do." Remus answered and left his room, bumping his arm into the doorframe on the way out. He had no idea where he was going. He was relying purely on muscle memory. Surely he knew the layout of his house well enough by now to find the kitchen, where his parents kept their candles, without seeing. He felt around the walls to guide him, attempting to flip some light switches on the way. The power must have gone out for some reason. 

He heard a loud crash and sighed. He didn't have the willpower at the moment to be upset with Sirius. There were much more important matters at hand. Like the fact that he may be stuck without power for the next two days until his parents get home. Because he's just some knobbly sixteen-year-old boy who didn't know shit about electricity and really didn't care to. 

He felt around the walls some more and walked into a doorway. He sighed in relief when he felt a circular picture on the wall. He was in the kitchen. Now to find those bloody candles. 

"Moony! Are you almost done?" A voice shouted from his bedroom.

"Will you give me a minute?" Remus shouted back as he opened the cabinet he was seventy-eight per cent sure had the candles in it. 

"It's been a minute. It's been several minutes." Sirius replied in a whiny tone.

"And it'll be several more if you don't learn to be patient." He felt around the cabinet, wincing when he touched something sticky. Finally, he grabbed a waxy feeling cylinder that had to be a candle. Because there was no other object it could be. He pulled it out and felt the wick at the top of it. Yep. Definitely a candle. Now to figure out how to get back in his bedroom. 

"Padfoot?" He called when he entered the room that had to be his own. 

"It's about time." Sirius grumbled impatiently. 

[hecalledmehanbana]

Have you ever met someone and you just clicked? Everything lined up, the sun shone, it seemed even the world was telling you, “Hey! Pay attention! This person is going to be important!”

I did. Just over a month ago. @melaxia is that person for me. We met through one of my best friends that I’ve known for more than 10 years. (Funnily enough, I had that same sort of moment with him, but it just meant important in a different way. He’s family to me and has been, for years. I call him Princess and so that’s what he’ll be referred to as if I’m ever talking about him.) Princess works with her, and as a cis white dude (who tries way too hard to prove he’s a manly man), he realized both of us are queer and was like, “Hey, I have 2 queer friends! Maybe my queer friends should meet!” He got her permission to give me her number, and then during another conversation with me, got my permission to give her my number. (Side Note: I struggle really hard with new situations, they give me hella anxiety, so when he asked if I wanted her number, I told him to just give her mine and have her text me.) The next day, I got a message from a number with the same area code as mine. (Because I never changed numbers after I moved out of my home town, and Princess never moved out of our home town.) This message kept it super simple with just a hey, and an introduction. So I responded in kind. And since then, we haven’t really stopped talking unless we are either asleep or working (and even then, sometimes we’ll talk while either of us are working). We figured out pretty quickly that he was trying to set us up. He talked me up to her, and he talked her up to me, and yet, we were dating for literal weeks before he knew. And honestly, I had to tell him, because I don’t like lying to the people that matter, and he really matters to me, so lying to him, even if it was my idea, made me anxious. So I told him, and pretty much all he had to say about it was that he was glad I’m happy.

And I really am. I have had pretty shitty relationships in the past. None have ever really lasted longer than a couple months because of one thing or another. In reality, I had just gotten bored in the relationship and things stagnated and the things they’d been doing the entire time (complaining about something and not doing anything to fix it, not being confident about who they are, not being up front about things, etc.) really started to get to me and I ended up breaking up with all of them. My girlfriend and I were talking about this last night, and she jokingly asked, “Should I be worried?” Because I truly haven’t had a relationship longer than 2 months. And I’m 26. But that just got me thinking. And so I was very honestly able to answer her with, “No. You shouldn’t be worried at all. And here’s why.”

See, the thing about my relationship with her, is that we can talk on the phone for 12 hours a day, and maybe we’re not talking nonstop, but we can always make each other laugh. We can go from joking, to a somewhat serious topic, and right back to joking without missing a beat. We can just be on the phone, and don’t need to be doing anything specific. We can talk about legitimately anything, we can tease each other or be cheering sections for each other. We always have the utmost faith in each other, even if we don’t really have it in ourselves. I could never get bored with her, because she makes me smile with a simple text or with one of our jokey arguments. We can banter and discuss and just be together. We may live 1200 miles apart, but that doesn’t mean that our relationship is less than someone else’s. It doesn’t mean that it’s more likely to fail. And it REALLY doesn’t mean that it’s not real. And I’m not the only one that feels this way. See, we figured out within the last couple of days that we’re both empathy. I’m pretty sure she told me early on, but I’m only human, and I forgot. I, on the other hand, KNOW I didn’t say anything, because as a general rule, I don’t tell people until I know them very well. From personal experience, I’ve figured out that if people know I’m an empath right from the start they tend to just try and hide their feelings. But I have hella trust issues (courtesy of ex friends and being cheated on and reactions to my coming out) so not being able to feel a truthful representation of how someone feel about me can be legitimately harmful to my health. So unless I know someone very well, I keep that to myself.

Continuing on, the incident that led to us finding that out about both of us, happened Tuesday while I was at work. I felt confusion, hurt, sadness, and some anxiety and I knew it wasn’t from me. Obviously, I can’t always tell exactly who it’s from, but instincts let me know. So I messaged her to check on her. That, was the incident at the dojo that led to me wishing I lived in the same state, because I would have kicked the shit out of the head instructor for the way he made her feel. Later on, after I got off work and was finally able to call her, she told me her first thought was of me during that fairly one sided conversation. That’s when I felt the flow of emotion, and that’s when I knew I had to check on her.

This girl has just strolled into my heart and taken up residence. She just casually stole my heart and gave me hers, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yesterday, was a rough day for me. And already knowing she’s empathic as well, it made it so she felt all the emotions I was feeling, and I was feeling mine and my momma’s. (A little backstory: in late September of 2020, my daddy was told by our primary care doctor to go to the emergency room immediately for what seemed to be a blood clot in his leg. He was admitted, and came home a couple days later with a stage 4 metastatic lung cancer diagnosis. 2 months later, he was gone). So yesterday morning, our primary care doctor told momma to go to the emergency room, and I panicked. I was feeling momma’s surprise and anxiety, and then as soon as she told me, my own distress. Any time someone important to me ends up in the hospital for any reason, I’m not sure how well I’m going to handle it, because watching my daddy go downhill broke my heart and honestly traumatized me. So, I had a full on anxiety attack yesterday morning before I went into work, and my girl was my rock. And honestly, she was a rockstar because all of my anxiety and distress and straight up fear hit her all at once, and she wasn’t expecting it, and yet she was still able to make me smile and supported me as I went into work on a day I didn’t think I had it in me to deal with people.

I really need to thank her from the bottom of my heart, because I don’t know how well I could have handled yesterday without her. I am not sure if I would have been able to truly work through the anxiety and still have a successful work day. Thank you babygirl, for being such a truly amazing person. I appreciate you every day, even when we’re both distracted and not saying a whole lot. 💜😊

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Catherine, Heathcliff, and Shangri-la

PART TEN OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: mentions of death, smoking, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 4.9K

Summary: Though she plans to spend her birthday alone, Ella ends up passing time on the late August evening with Jess, eating old pie and playing cards.

She looked like a dream in her sundress. Late August light bathed the crowds at the summer festival, and Ella practically glimmered when Jess spotted her from across the square. It made him feel like an idiot thinking the way he was, but she had an effect on him which he’d previously only read about in books. He wasn’t sure exactly when the tipping point had been, when he’d truly fallen in love with her, passed the point of no return. But he had. And he was. He loved a girl who didn’t believe in love, who wasn’t into dating, who didn’t feel the same. It had never been so complicated before, and he’d never been so completely screwed. There were moments, times when his heart nearly burst from the hope. When she laughed at one of his wiseass remarks, or ran her fingertips over the notes he’d left in the margins of her poetry books, or let her eyes linger on him for just a second too long. But each time, she would brush it off, act like nothing had happened. And he’d be forced to wonder if he’d imagined the electricity passing between them.

Slowly, over the course of the summer, he was beginning to come to terms with it. Maybe they could just be friends, coworkers. Maybe all he needed was to make out with Shane until his lips were swollen and his mind was blank and his memory would be wiped clean of all the times Ella had made him feel deeper than he ever had before. Besides, he had never fallen in love before, had never uttered the three fateful words in all his seventeen years. A small part of him believed he could snap out of it easily.

He took his eyes back from her form, concentrating on the girl in front of him. The girl who wanted him and nothing more. Who meant nothing but ease and pleasure. Sliding his hands down in her back pockets, Jess closed his eyes and placed kisses down Shane’s neck, the bark of the tree they leaned on rough against his back.

.   .   .

“She’s back with a vengeance!” Ella exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Rory in a gleeful embrace.

They stood together near a flower stand, the fragrant display adding sweetness to the air. Despite the barber shop quartet droning on in the background, Ella felt her spirits lift at the sight of Rory Gilmore, her confidant missing in action over the summer at an internship in Washington. In the back of her mind, Ella couldn’t help reminding herself that soon, she would have to deal with the constant separation. Rory would be off at Harvard, Lane would be touring with her band (hopefully), and Ella would be stuck. As she always had been. She’d have to fill Rory in on how the college applications were going later.

Rory laughed happily, pulling away from Ella and holding her at an arm’s length. “Yes, and with all the hot DC gossip.”

“I’m intrigued,” Ella said, raising an eyebrow.

From behind them, Lorelai beamed, her own face painted with joy, her daughter back in town. Ella loved that about summer. It had a special kind of magic no other season could manage, positivity radiating from everyone, dampened only by the occasional rainy day.

“Alright, let’s go find Lane, and we are in for a movie night of epic proportions!” Lorelai announced, strolling around the square with the two teens in tow.

Before they departed completely, however, Rory followed Ella’s distracted gaze to the old oak where Jess stood, eating his girlfriend’s face.

“Oh, God!” Rory exclaimed, scrunching up her face in disgust.

Ella blushed, Rory having noticed her staring. She hadn’t meant to. But seeing the two of them together, considering the many fights with Shane the summer had brought, gave her a feeling of irritated uneasiness. Like a car crash she couldn’t look away from. Morbid interest feeding morbid interest in a vicious, voyeuristic cycle.

Tilting her head to the scene in question, Lorelai scoffed. “Guess he’s got his ‘What I Did This Summer’ essay all planned out.”

“I know,” Ella groaned. “America’s youth really does have such admirable modesty.”

Snorting a laugh, Rory shot a knowing look at her mother. “Have they been at that a lot?”

Ella nodded, speeding up in her stride a little to get out of view of the display. “Yep. It’s now part of the Early Bird Special at the diner. Dinner and a show.”

Lorelai faked a gag. “I told you. The kid gives off major Sid Vicious vibes.”

“Looks like he’s found his Nancy,” Rory added.

“And he’s been so weird at work lately. He barely talks to me, just sits on his little stool. Reading, brooding, scaring off small children. Maybe I pissed him off. I don’t know,” Ella said. She fiddled with the chain of her necklace.

“Um….Ella?” Rory began, bringing a hand to the blonde girl’s shoulder. “Do you not realize you’re the Catherine to his Heathcliff?”

Ella scoffed, laughing breathily. “What?”

“He’s totally into you!” Lorelai exclaimed.

Raising a brow, Ella rolled her eyes and kept walking. She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. “Very funny.”

“Every time he looks at you…” Lorelai said, feigning a swoony look. “It’s sickening.”

“Yeah, right. I bet it’s Rory he’s into,” Ella argued, shrugging them off once more.

“Oh really?” Rory asked skeptically. “Then why does he make those notes in your margins? In the poetry books he said he hated when he first got here?”

“It’s mutually assured destruction,” Ella explained. “If he stops taking a chance on poetry, I’ll stop taking a chance on the beats. The arguments would ensue, the diner would descend into chaos. In an effort to avoid certain death during our shifts together, we compromise.”

“Ah, the key to a strong relationship’s foundation,” Lorelai retorted.

Snorting a laugh, Ella shook her head. Without the flowers and the serenity of solitude, the less desirable aspects of the festival began to wear on Ella’s psyche. The barber shop quartet spun around and around in her head, making her dizzy, and the sun beat down on them. Stray strands of hair, fallen from her bun, began to stick to her damp forehead.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to Ella. “Rory, my dear?”

“Yes?” Rory answered with suspicion.

“You know how you always give me presents on my birthday even though I tell you not to?” Ella asked.

“I’m aware of the annual birthday commiseration,” Rory said, nodding.

“Well, I’d like to request, as a birthday present for your favorite waitress, a moratorium on the Jess talk until I am seventeen years and one day old,” Ella suggested, fluttering her eyelashes jokingly.

Sighing, Rory linked her arm with Ella’s. “Alright, but only because you asked so very nicely.”

“Good to have you back, Thelma,” Ella smiled fondly, pulling her friend a little closer.

“Same to you, Louise.”

Lorelai chuckled and shook her head, watching as the girls ascended the steps to Lane’s door.

.   .   .

Mercifully, Ella had made it through the day with minimal birthday wishes and no attempts at gift-giving. Lorelai and Rory had teased her about a surprise party, but she knew they wouldn’t truly dare. Instead of going home, where she knew she’d have to brave Fiona’s pathetic attempts at celebration, she wandered around town aimlessly. It made her feel guilty to snap at the woman so much, but she just couldn’t help herself. Watching Fiona, only twelve years her senior, traipsing around in her house, humming the Dixie Chicks songs she knew her mother would’ve hated. Before she could apply any rational thought to the decision, she found her way to the bridge. The greenish-black water sparkled in glowing moonlight. Crickets sung and cicadas buzzed, a low summer tune. She hung her booted feet over the edge, the black cotton of her dress pooling around her knees. Rifling through her shoulder bag to the side, she found a copy of The Grapes of Wrath. A perfect book to sustain her gloomy mood. She laid back against the wooden planks of the pier, holding the novel above her face, blocking out the view of the clear night. The humidity had dissipated, and a cool breeze blew past her.

A few peaceful moments had passed before she heard footfalls thumping heavily, vibrating beneath her back. She sighed as the noise got closer, letting the book fall to her chest and rolling her eyes.

“Stealing my spot, huh?” Jess spoke up as he approached, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Sorry, didn’t realize you’d bought the property.”

“Touché.”

Though Ella still hadn’t looked over at him, she heard him sit down next to her. She could smell the subtle mixture of hair gel and pine.

“By all means, sit down,” she snapped, sitting up again, placing her scrap of construction paper back in the book to save her place. She stuffed it back in her bag to the left. Fiddling with the end of the loose braid which hung over her shoulder, she sighed again.

Jess scoffed. “Jeez, Daria. Don’t pull your punches.”

“Bite me, Jess,” she replied flatly, staring out across the water. In the light, she knew she would’ve been able to watch schools of tiny grey fish whizzing by. As a child, she’d imagined small mermaids living in a crystalline village beneath the surface of the dull silt and sand.

“Feelin’ pithy tonight?” he drawled, an eyebrow raised.

“You could say that.”

He only nodded, leaning back on his palms. Silence stood between the two of them, heavy in the nighttime air. Ella almost put her nails to her mouth, then thought better of it. When Jess still didn’t speak, she huffed out a big breath and finally tossed him a glance.

“Don’t you have someone to verbally abuse at the diner or a girlfriend’s face to suck or something?” she asked.

Jess shot her a look. Before he could even respond, Ella spoke again.

“As long as you’re here, could you loan me a cigarette?” she asked, a shameful blush coloring her cheeks. As much as the request embarrassed her, she couldn’t stand the way her skin was crawling.

���What?” Jess blurted out, eyes wide. “What happened to the periodic surgeon general’s warnings?”

She sighed, dropping her gaze to her lap and clearing her throat. “I’ve gotta keep you on your toes, don’t I?”

Though slightly flabbergasted, Jess’s eyes shone fondly, remembering the carriage ride they’d taken at the Bracebridge dinner so many months ago. After a moment, he produced a crumpled packet and a lighter from his pocket and handed them to her.

“Thank you,” she muttered, placing a cigarette between her lips. It surprised her that he actually obliged, considering how stand-offish he’d been at work lately. The lighter struck on the first try, the small orange flame flickering warmly in the darkness. And Jess could tell immediately it was far from the first time she’d smoked. She handed the supplies back to him.

He took a cigarette of his own and lit it up.

“Don’t tell Luke,” she said, voice slightly husky as she exhaled the first puff of smoke. Her words came out in dim blue clouds.

“I wouldn’t dare,” he replied, tapping ash into the lake and watching it burn out. “Your secret is safe, Stevens.”

“Thanks. I’ll consider it a birthday present,” she grumbled, feeling the familiar burn of smoke in her chest. She knew she would regret the decision in the morning.

“It’s your birthday?”

“Yep.”

“Happy birthday,” he said reflexively, eyebrows raised.

Scoffing bitterly, Ella flicked ash off her cigarette with her thumb. “Thanks, Mariano.”

“Is that why you’re gonna bite my head off at the next wrong move?”

She laughed humorlessly. “Yeah, birthdays aren’t my thing.”

“Huh. And I guess that’s why no one said anything at work?”

Ella nodded. “Yeah, after a few crying customers last year, Luke ordered the diner a birthday-free zone.”

“Wise of him.”

“It was.”

Regarding her in the moonlight, Jess sighed. “Any particular reason for the birthday allergy?”

Swallowing harshly, Ella brought her free hand to her necklace and a smirk formed on her face. “It’s just...my mom was a big birthday person. Without her here, it just all feels a little artificial. It’s weird. The anniversary of the day she died never hits me as hard as Mother’s Day, or today.”

He nodded, solemn as she continued.

“I try to spend as little time at home as I can. And Rory and Lorelai always try to get me to do something,” she said, pausing to inhale deeply and blow out a stream of smoke. “But I am nothing if not pertinacious.”

“Nice. Ten-cent word.”

“Thanks. Used it in the crossword this morning. I’d say it’s at least twenty cents,” she said, scoffing in mock offense.

Jess chuckled. “Alright, I’ll cave for the birthday girl.”

“How kind of you.”

Crushing the smoldering butt of her cigarette on the weathered bridge wood, Ella exhaled out her nose and crossed one leg over the other.  She smoothed her hands over her dress. Somewhere, a loon cried. Jess sat quietly beside her, the last of his cigarette glowing as he inhaled. When he put it out, he stood up and made to leave. Ella didn’t say a word, didn’t even look at him. After a second of thought, he held a hesitant hand out to her.

“Let’s go back to the diner,” he proposed with finality. “We can eat the leftover pie. There will be no birthday talk whatsoever. I promise.”

Looking at his hand, Ella thought of the book in her bag. The hours she could spend alone with nothing but Steinbeck to entertain her. But then, she felt a sudden rush of courage at the thought of Luke’s. Free of people, with pastries under the glass domes on the counters and stale pies in the back fridge. And Jess. She heaved a sigh, then slung her bag over her shoulder and grabbed his hand.

.   .   .

“No way,” Jess said, shaking his head doubtfully as he took another bite of the pie.

Ella smiled, nodding. “I swear. I was named the worst dancer out of all the little girls ever taught at Miss Patty’s by the Gazette. I was responsible for the domino incident of 1992 which caused two sprained ankles and one broken arm. Suffice it to say, the arm was mine.”

“Jesus,” Jess laughed, his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, I’m Patrick Swayze’s worst nightmare.”

Jess rolled his eyes and threw his head back with a dramatic groan. “I’ll never understand your fixation with those cheesy eighties movies.”

“You bite your tongue, heathen,” she said lightly, digging another bite from the cold apple pie in the tin between them.

“Well, at least we can agree on Steinbeck,” he shrugged through a laugh.

She nodded and sighed tiredly, brought a hand to her necklace.

The diner shone brightly against the otherwise dark landscape of Main Street. Ella could hear Luke snoring from all the way upstairs, but it was almost comforting if not amusing. With the leftover pie between them, she and Jess sat alone amongst chairs stacked on tables and cutlery put away. It smelled vaguely of disinfectant, but the pine was still there, making her heart feel just a touch less broken. Maybe being alone wasn’t the best way to pass one of the hardest days of her year.

“I’m surprised she still even lets you step foot in the studio, leaving that much carnage in your wake,” Jess said, smirking at the way the tension slowly released from her shoulders.

Snorting a laugh, Ella took another bite of the pie. She could tell it was made from her recipe, heavy on the cinnamon. “Well, the years have improved my coordination a little bit.”

“But have they?” he teased.

“Shut up,” she retorted, good nature in her voice.

A comfortable pause filled the air. Jess’s eyes caught her thin fingers still rolling the silver chain of her necklace. She blew up a long breath and straightened up, putting her fork back down in the tin, the half-pie almost all the way gone.

Nodding, Jess swallowed dryly and bit at his lip. “Why do you wear that necklace every day?”

Eyes widening, Ella couldn’t help but feel taken aback by the question. She let out a self-conscious scoff and her hand immediately dropped away from her collar. The small silver charm, a key, glinted in the yellow diner light.

“My grandmother gave it to me,” she explained, her tone even though she avoided his eyes. “It’s the key to the jewelry box she had when she was little. The box got lost, but the key stayed. She was a singer. Friends with Miss Patty. Pretty fucking cool.”

Jess smiled a tiny smile. “Sounds like it.”

“Yeah,” she replied, the word a sigh. Then, after a beat, she regained her direct nature and looked him in the eye. “Okay, since we’re asking questions tonight: why the hell are there bongos on the shelf above your desk?”

Jess laughed, but his cheeks reddened a touch. “Those were there when I moved in. Scout’s Honor.”

She rolled her eyes. “You are the last person in the world they would ever let into the Scouts.”

“Wow, that one hurt.”

Ella smiled. “Then what’s Luke doing with those bongos?”

“Preparing for a Matthew McConaughey,” Jess shot back knowingly.

“Ugh, that image is gonna be burned in my mind forever,” she groaned, nose scrunching up in disgust.

“You’re welcome.”

“Fuck you,” she said, grinning.

“Right back at ya.”

Suddenly, a loud snore came from the floor above them.

“Speaking of,” Ella grumbled, only in mock irritation.

“Like you don’t snore.”

“Only when I’m drunk,” she said, then looked up at him, accusatory. “But you. Oh my god, it was all night long. Really, the two of you put together could probably break some sonic records.”

Instead of retorting, Jess retrieved his weathered deck of cards from one of his jean pockets. He raised his eyebrows as a challenge and began shuffling. “Just for that last comment, you’re about to be massacred at Rummy.”

.   .   .

A knot of anxiety sat in her stomach, but work was helping her keep it at bay. It was the last Saturday of summer, Monday the start of senior year. But the waves of butterflies fluttering around in her chest weren’t ones of nervousness, more only of dread. The constant drudgery of school work, the monotony of the day. She liked summer for more reasons than the mood and the weather. Free time to read, to draw, to paint. And she much preferred painting the full greenery over the desolate landscapes of a Connecticut winter. The fact she hadn’t seen Jess since the night before, when she left the diner satisfied with herself for winning three hands in a row, was doing nothing to calm her either. After cleaning up from the breakfast rush, Ella was mindlessly reorganizing the mugs on the cubby shelf to the left of the counter by color and size.

“Alright, this is ridiculous,” Luke admonished, walking up behind her.

She scoffed. “It’s not my fault these mugs haven’t been reorganized since Reagan was president.”

“Because they were the last ones you hadn’t got your hands on. You’re starting to sound like Taylor.”

Instantly, she turned and narrowed her eyes at him. “The next time you say that to me I’m turning in my apron and never looking back!”

Luke scoffed in disbelief at her dramatics. “Just take your break, Ella.”

“You think I’m bluffing,” she warned, untying her apron and leaving it on the hook near the kitchen window, “but I’m dead serious.”

“I’m quaking in my boots,” Luke replied flatly, gathering some receipts from the side of the cash register.

“I bet,” she shot back, rounding the corner and going to dig through her bag, hanging by the front door. “Is Jess here? I’ve got a book for him.”

“Upstairs,” Luke said shortly.

Retracting her hand from the shoulder bag, with a worn collection of Dorothy Parker, she rolled her eyes. She tucked her hair behind her ears and prepared to disappear behind the checkered curtain on the way to the stairs.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a master conversationalist?” she asked.

“Shaddup,” he groaned, waving an annoyed hand at her in the direction of the apartment.

Ella snickered, then bounded up the stairs, the soles of her old converse a little slippery on the creaking wood. She heard the TV droning on from inside, daytime Saturday shows. Only a couple short knocks sounded on the door before she let herself in, as she had so many times before when fetching random items during her shifts.

“Hey, Jess-” she began, turning to the left, Jess’s room.

Cut off by a sudden flash of noise, she watched Jess stuff a blue mesh vest quickly into the top drawer of his dresser. Eyes wide with surprise, he faced her with a scowl, brows scrunched up.

“Ever hear of knocking, Daria?” he snapped.

Processing the scene before her, Ella blinked a couple times and bit the inside of her cheek. “Sorry. Guess I was too quiet.”

“Apparently.” He crossed his arms over his Punk Planet t-shirt and looked at her expectantly. “You need something?”

Ella cleared her throat, looking down at the book in her hands. “Yeah, I had that Dorothy Parker I was telling you about last night and…” she paused, glancing at his dresser. “I’m sorry, Jess, but I simply can’t ignore this. Was that a Walmart vest?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

He straightened up, defensively. “No.”

“Really?”

“You heard me,” he shot back.

Pursing her lips, she nodded, unconvinced. She stepped a little closer to him, one hand on the hip of her skirt. “So, what was it?”

“A shirt.”

“A shirt with a Walmart logo on it?” she asked, her voice gaining a teasing lilt.

Jess scoffed. “I think you need glasses.”

A momentary staring contest ensued, and she watched him squirm under her hazel gaze. “Do you work at Walmart, Jess?”

Sighing through his nose, Jess glared at her. Then, he ran a hand through his hair and side-stepped Ella, making his way to the kitchen. “Fine. Yes. You happy?”

Instantly, a smile spread wide on her face. “Oh, so very happy.”

“Glad to hear it,” he growled, avoiding eye contact as he popped open a can of soda. He sat down at the kitchen table, facing the I Dream of Jeannie rerun.

Biting back her giggles, Ella came over to take the rickety kitchen chair next to him. Clearing her throat, she put the book in her hand on the table between then. She smoothed her slightly wrinkled Patti Smith t-shirt and tried to appear nonchalant, a smirk ever-present on her lips. Jess sipped his soda, eyes dark and moody, embarrassment underneath a thin layer of irritation. Nearly five minutes passed on the oven clock in the small kitchen, both of them watching Barbara Eden’s foibles in silence. Ella bit a little at her nails, but only to mask her amused expression.

“So...all this time...Shangri-la was Walmart?” she asked.

Jess sighed, rolling his eyes. “Eleanor-”

“You work at Walmart,” she repeated, chuckling a little.

“Whatever. You smoke,” he countered.

“Like, twice a year,” she said defensively. “When did you even start that job?”

Bowing his head slightly, Jess finally dropped the act a bit. “June. When you were in New Britain.”

She sighed, nodding, then brought a hand to his arm. “I’m really proud of you. I mean, you can’t waste all your people skills at the diner.”

Jess shook her off and rolled his eyes again. “Shut up. I move stock around on a fork-lift in the back.”

“Okay, tough guy.”

“And don’t tell Luke,” he said, finally looking her in the eye.

She shrugged. “Fine, I won’t. Cross my heart.”

“Thank you,” he snapped.

“You’re very welcome,” she replied, still grinning. “Seriously, though, it’s not that lame. Trust me. I think it’s cool. You have your own thing going, y’know?”

Jess scoffed in doubt but said nothing more.

Clearing her throat, Ella shifted her eyes down to her lap for a second, the tone of her voice changing. “But enough about your double-life, Mr. Bond. I just wanted to bring you that book. And also thank you for last night.”

Jess raised a brow, eyes on the TV screen. “For what?”

“I don’t know. If you hadn’t come along, my plan was to read Steinbeck at the lake, then sneak home and listen to Nirvana through my headphones,” she explained. “But instead I got to eat old pie and kick your ass at cards.”

“Such a sore winner,” he muttered, cracking a little smirk.

She laughed quietly, her fingers finding their way to her necklace. “And sorry if I was...I don’t usually talk about my mom. Not exactly a crowd-pleasing topic. Just on Mother’s Day and my birthday, I...You didn’t have to listen.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t do things I don’t wanna do,” he said, casting her a momentary glance, a small, lopsided smile on his face. It was more genuine than she was prepared for, and she had to look away as her cheeks heated up.

Rising from the table, she made to leave, hoping not to overstay her welcome. “Anyway, thanks. It was the best birthday I’ve had in awhile.”

Running a hand over his mouth, Jess blew out a breath and faced her fully again. “Anytime, Stevens.”

He looked as though he were about to say something more, but she could practically see him swallow it down. Instead, he got up from his seat and switched off the TV. Going over to his side of the apartment, she watched him grab a CD from the top of a small stack on his dresser. She couldn’t quite read the cover, but could see it was filled with shades of black and red.

“How long do you have left on your break?”

Ella looked down at her watch then back up at him. “Still have about twenty minutes.”

He nodded, gesturing to the CD. “I get fifteen percent off at the store, so I picked this up the other day. Just came out. It made me think of you. I thought you might wanna listen?”

“Oh,” she said dumbly, surprised. She nodded. “Yeah, yeah, sure. As long as it’s not jazz.”

“It’s not,” Jess assured her, chuckling.

As he opened his closet and brought out the small stereo, she took a few steps closer, arms crossed. She couldn’t help the fluttering in her chest or the way her cheeks flushed with heat. In all the time she’d known Jess, she couldn’t remember ever feeling quite so anxious around him. Quite so antsy. She almost couldn’t explain the feeling, but it wasn’t one she minded.

“I would’ve shown you last night if I knew it was your birthday,” he mentioned as he pressed play.

As the music started, he suddenly didn’t know what to do with himself. Sit on the bed? On his desk chair? Instead, he leaned on the desktop itself, hands stuffed in his pockets. He regretted the decision already, showing her the music. He’d meant to do it at some point, during one of their friendly book exchanges. But then the air between them had become charged again, and she was about to walk away from the moment. He wanted it to last just a little longer, time with the one person in Stars Hollow he actually enjoyed being with. Even if she didn’t feel quite the same as him, even if she never would.

Ella felt the slight vibrations of the music in the soles of her soles as she stepped closer to the stereo, picking up the CD case from his dresser. She turned it over in her hands. Turn on the Bright Lights by Interpol. It surprised her she hadn’t heard of them before; Lane usually kept her in the know about such things. They must have been very young, very new. But she liked it, the echoing guitars and the drums. Judging from the back cover, the song to which they now listened was simply called “Untitled.”

“They’re good,” she said, putting the case back down. “Different. I like it.”

Jess shrugged. “Figured you would. What with all that sad shit you listen to. The other songs are a little more lively. They’re no Fleetwood Mac, but…”

Walking closer still, she stopped when she was only a couple feet in front of him. Her heart beat with the music, and she swallowed dryly. Something was clicking in her head.

“Jess?”

He looked up, and his brown eyes locked with hers. “Yeah?”

Before she could rethink it, before she could talk herself out of it, before she could silence her heart with her head, she brought a hand to the back of his neck and kissed him. His shock was sudden but brief. Almost immediately, he wound his arms around her waist. And he was kissing back, sweetly, gently at first, then deeper. She was flush against him, smiling into it. The music beat quietly around them, and his grip was warm, and his lips felt exactly right. Ella wanted it to never end, for the moment to last forever, alive, and never cross over and turn to mere memory.

[haifengg]

The Dutch Room - Chapter 4

Find all chapters here!

“Did you solve your problem yet?” Johnny asked and fell into the armchair.

His boss sat on the other side of the office, hunched over a remarkable stack of paperwork. “Problem?” He asked without looking up.

“The … uh … thing that came up a few weeks ago.” Johnny said carefully, not sure if he really forgot about the incident.

“Oh, so you’re not talking about yourself.” One could hear Jaehyun’s smile even if it wasn’t visible. Especially if one’s name was Johnny.

“Why would I refer to myself as a problem?”

“Because you always show up when I'm busy and steal my time.”

“By doing what?”

“By talking to me and not working like everyone else.” He said and finally looked up from his paperwork, smiling.

Johnny sighed. “You suck real bad. Did you know that?”

“I’ve been told, yeah. Honestly tho, what problem are you talking about? There are so many lately.”

Jaehyun leaned back in his chair, crossed his fingers behind his head and put his feet up, looking at his oldest friend.

“The one that dropped dead on your floor.” Johnny scoffed and yawned. Once again it was one of those days they were working late, which basically described every other day in their field of work.

Every single one of them had spent at least a few nights in their office, which is why they all kept travel kits at their desks somewhere.

“Oh.” Jaehyun said and his relatively good mood faded within seconds. “That one.”

“I assume it is as always more serious than you’re telling us right?”

“I don’t need to tell you how serious it is. Everyone working here is qualified enough to know that for themselves. And if they don’t I should consider replacing them. But yes, it is gravely serious. It could ruin the entire project.”

“And I assume you found a solution?” Jaehyun nodded and took down his hands, resting them on his core.

“I did. And I will schedule a meeting as soon as it is set in stone.”

“As always. I’m here now so why don’t you walk me through it?” Johnny offered casually while playing around with the end of his tie.

“I’m really busy …”

Johnny snorted. “Dude, I don’t care. I haven’t talked to you in ages about work let alone anything non-work related. And if business talk is the only talk I get these days I will take whatever you got.”

“Fine. The solution we came up with involves Taeil.”

Johnny suddenly sat up straight in the armchair and looked at his friend in a very confused way.

“Taeil? I thought you decided against using the hostesses.”

“True. We won’t use BARbara. But Taeil is the one who came up with the back-up plan.”

Jaehyun paused to lean forward, leafing through his calendar looking for a specific event.

“On the uh … 4th he’s meeting with the owner of a few high class restaurants. Something japanese. To be honest I neither met the guy yet nor have I heard about his restaurants but Taeil apparently knows him for quite some time and I trust him. After they meet up and where he introduces him to the idea, we will schedule another meeting in which we discuss the specifics.”

“I thought you don’t want to involve more people than necessary? Why are you suddenly considering working with someone you don’t know? This seems chancy.”

“Because”, he began and groaned. “the original plan was the most irresponsible imbecile I’ve met in my career so far and whoever Taeil is talking to in two weeks can’t be worse. I don’t know if you noticed but we don’t have that much time left. And I told all of you before that we’re only doing it if we find a way to clean the money.”

“You did tell us that. Several times. But we always reassured you that we would do it even if you don’t know how to launder the money beforehand. Because we trust you.”

Jaehyun sighed and rested his head in the palms of his hands. “You shouldn’t tho.”

The other shrugged and got up. “We know. But we do against your better judgement.”

“You’re going home?” Jaehyun looked at him in surprise.

“What? No.” He chuckled. “I’m working late, boss. As always.”

***

“Someone home?” Johnny stuck the head through the door as he opened it carefully.

“Come on in!” Song shouted from the back of the studio, her voice weirdly muffled.

So he stepped inside and closed the door behind him, looking around for her but couldn’t find her.

The studio didn’t change much since the last time he visited. The dishes were clean and put up to dry, right next to it was a small stash of toiletries.

Everything looked fine and even more in order than Haechan’s cubicle so why did Jaehyun want him to come up here and check on her? And besides, why didn’t he just do it himself?

He shuffled across the room to take a closer look at the easel and the prints that were spread out on the huge wobbly table alongside with a variety of … ingredients and colors. The canvas was smudged with a mix of brown and green tones.

By this point of progress Johnny wasn’t able to see any resemblance or how the hell this would turn into what was on the prints.

“Oh. It’f you.”

Hearing her voice behind him he turned around to see Song in sweatpants and some threadborne sweatshirt. Just now he realized how late it must have been once again, since Song was brushing her teeth and didn’t bother to take out the toothbrush while talking to him.

“If I knew y’all would take the ‘come by anytime’ fo literally I wouldn’t have faid it.”

“Did someone else come by?”

She nodded and walked over to spit out toothpaste and put away the toothbrush. “Yeah. Haechan came to see me the day before yesterday. And Doyoung yesterday.”

“What did he want?” Johnny asked a little bit too hastily which made her turn around.

“Who?”

“Doyoung.”

The conversation forming between them was clipped and terse but not at all in an uncomfortable way.

“He brought the prints.” She said pointing at the table. “It’s a really good quality and very clean. You can literally see every little detail on it. Did you have a look?”

“Yeah, I did just now. Why was Haechan here?”

Since they were still standing around all dressed up and with nowhere to go, Song just walked over to the sofa and dropped down on it, grabbing a pillow to hold in her arms.

“Nothing too important. He just wanted to know how I am doing. Speaking for what reasons people are showing up here all the time: Why did you come?”

He pulled up the stool she was using to sit on while painting and sat across from her, one arm resting on the table and shrugged.

“Same reason. Just wanted to say ‘hi’.”

“Well, you did that. Something else?”

Johnny chuckled more to himself than to Song. Why wasn’t he able to figure her out? Since she was employed he caught himself wondering what the hell she was doing here and how she ended up being their coworker.

“Have you ever sat one foot on our floor?” He asked trying to change the topic but Song was quick.

She thought for a moment leaning her head to one side, then shaking it. “Why would I? Everyone is coming upstairs anyways. I don’t really have to leave this place.”

“Touche.”

Silence settled between them during which Song scanned the man carefully and Johnny tried to not curse himself for coming here. Nice gestures never were a thing at this company so why did he thought it would be a good idea to start being nice?

Right. He though. It was about what Doyoung said and how right he turned out to be. The girl … woman sitting across from him didn’t really fit in with all of them. And even though he corrected his thoughts from girl to woman he couldn’t deny that there certainly was something fairly young about her. She definitely looked her age and she probably had both whit and sass but … something didn’t add up.

“Do you want to drink? Something?” Song suddenly asked and got up.

Johnny jumped to his feet as well and gladly said: “Yes, please!”

***

Song chucked the last sip of wine and lowered her glass. Johnny reached for it to replenish her drink for the fourth time but she quickly covered with both hands.

“No no no, I’m good.” She laughed.

They both sat in front of the sofa, legs crossed and leaning against it. He had no idea of how long they had been sitting together like this but two hours probably already had passed since he got here.

“Are you sure?” He asked sliding the bottle of white wine back into the cooler.

“Yes. Absolutely. This is actually way more than I usually have. If you have questions you only want honest answers to: Ask them now.” She stated jokingly and waved away her sobriety.

Johnny laughed. “Okay, let me think.”

When he wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds she turned her head to look at him and found him actually thinking about what he wanted to ask her.

Song curiously and patiently waited for him to ask:

“What do you think of Panoma?”

Their eyes met and she could see how serious his question was. He really wanted her honest opinion about the company and/or the people working here.

“Well”, Song began but hesitated. “about the people or more about the entire thing?”

“Whatever you want.”

She sighed. “To be honest: I don’t think this is for me.”

Johnny’s eyes widened at an answer he didn’t expect at all. “What does that mean?”

“See, I feel like you all know each other so well. Yeah, sure I am the new one and y’all don’t know me and we don’t have a history but I am not sure if we will get along well eventually. And this is just the case for getting along well. Not exceptionally well or being a great team. Whatever that involves.”

He put down his wine glass ready to give her his unshared attention. This seemed to have bothered her for a while. “What exactly makes you think that?”

“This might sound weird but … to me you all seem like criminals.”

“You aren’t exactly whitecollar either. I chose your file out of 20 others because I like to think of you as someone who screws people over twice. First time by forging art and replacing it and the second time when you keep the original to yourself.”

“But compared to you that’s nothing.” She said, using one the one hand that wasn’t still holding the empty glass to empathize the arguments. “You are professional criminals. Working in a company devoted to launder money and steal shit. This is organized crime. What I do … every art-school graduate could do it. It all comes down to very basic things.”

Johnny sighed. “What makes you think you don’t fit in?”

She sat on her knees, putting aside the glass she was holding up until this moment and looked him directly into the eyes.

“I don’t know? Jaehyun is super scary and June is so … flawless? Doyoung seems a bit odd and I don’t know what to think of you but you are professionals. You work in an office, wear ties and suits, do paperwork, crunch numbers, have desks with files on them.”

“Is that how you define professionalism? That we appear to be harmless office employees but aren’t?”

Song nodded quietly.

“Under the pretext of commonplace?”

“Yes.”

There she was again. The girl Song that seemed so innocent and harmless as if she couldn’t hurt nobody and has no criminal record. As if they were two different personalities sharing one shell.

Johnny chuckled and suddenly the dramatic tension that had built up in the studio imploded and disappeared.

“I don’t mean to offend you personally but that’s very naive of you to think. Romanticizing our field of work is what writers do. And I have to ask you to neither put June nor Jaehyun on a pedestal because those two ain’t perfect. Also they’re not the cold and calculating professionals you think they are. “

He saw her face and immediately backtracked. “Don’t get me wrong: Both are evil masterminds and exceptionally at their jobs. But they have their flaws.” He leaned back. “Did you hear about Lucas?”

“Who’s that?”

“He used to work here before we hired you.”

“Why past tense?”

“He … quit. That aside: Lucas and June had an affair that was going on for quite a while if I remember correctly.”

Song gasped and choked. All Johnny did was laughing at her gasping which made things worse.

“Does everyone know?” She asked after catching her breath and being pat on the back by Johnny.

“I’m not sure but I assume at least Haechan does know. Nothing really goes past him. If you want to know things in the future I suggest you ask him.”

He returned to the semi serious attitude he had about himself for the entire evening as he said: “But my point is: Even though I don’t know if there were feelings involved or what exactly their arrangement was, it is what it is. An affair between two coworkers. And if that’s not the epitome of non-professionalism - I don’t know what is.“

Navigation

[walksinlatewithcoffee]

I’ve been here the whole time and I have no idea where to begin.

Ok. So.

We have to explain things a bit out of order so they make more sense. Starting with a couple family trees because there are actual biological families and if matters sometimes.

The most important one being Wilbur’s.

Phil (a very old man, immortal most likely) had a son named Wilbur. His mother is jokingly(?) referred to as a refrigerator, the fans have sort of assigned irl Phil’s wife the role of Death Herself and pretend it’s canon that she is Wilbur’s mom.

Wilbur met a salmon named Sally who was an accountant apparently. Here is our first true evidence that within the smp universe pregnancy and such is just anarchy, because a man married a salmon and birthed a Fox.

So because of that we sort of just assume anything goes, which works well with Minecraft since mammals canonically don’t have biological sex in any way that matters, and certain birds produce asexually. So like. Anything goes.

The Fox is named Fundy. Fundy existed before he was born, canonically. But timeline discrepancies are to be expected and will be explained later. Fundy is also canonically trans because Wilbur was doing karaoke once and a bit happened cause of song lyrics not matching the characters and the fans liked it so it was kept.

At some point Wilbur found Tommy, Tommy and Wilbur have a brotherly relationship but Tommy doesn’t consider Phil a father, probably cause he was very distant and too busy bro-ing it up with his best friend in a castle fort somewhere.

And at some other point the family collectively found a small child in a box on the side of the road, this child was Tubbo and he became a fixture of the household but never a proper adoptee.

Other than that we have Bad who is Sapnap’s dad, which is interesting but hasn’t impacted much actually.

And the rest won’t be important until later.

SO.

THE BEGINNING:

Tommy got ahold of some music disks and through some various shenanigans including arson and property damage and a few arguments, ended up in a small war. If you can call 5 people beating the crap out of each other over useless shit a war. Dream’s a bit of a bully sometimes, but over all Sapnap did a lot of instigating.

Tommy gets fed up with this situation and calls Wilbur.

Wilbur shows up and immediately starts trying to establish a drug empire, for some reason. They’re hoarding potion brewing supplies in a van.

Dream and his lackeys don’t like that and it all gets very Ren mad, and eventually the situation ends with Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, Fundy, Niki, and Eret establishing an independent nation called L’Manburg where they intend to peacefully go about their business without Dream’s influence. It’s even established that armor will be prohibited, as there is no need to wear it.

Dream... flips his shit. Goes bonkers. Apes hit, if you will. And now it’s a REAL war.

Things go back and forth for a while, Eret becomes a mold for Dream and betrays the Revolution, Fundy is canonized as the first born citizen of the nation, at some point Tommy loses a duel and sacrifices his disks for the independence, and eventually it settles with Wilbur as President and Dream scheming in the background.

Somewhere in here Fundy decides to Shakespeare it up and go on a date with Dream, as expected this doesn’t go well in the end. They broke up (well, Fundy got ghosted.)

Wilbur decides that they should hold a (heavily rigged) election so that they can call it a democracy, and it backfires IMMEDIATELY. Unconfident in his ability to actually win a fair election (Wilbur is beginning to exhibit signs of increased anxiety here, take note) Wilbur calls a trusted friend for help... Schlatt.

Schlatt doesn’t even pretend to be on Wilbur’s side, he immediately declares an opposing party, and is quickly joined by Quackity in an effort to ensure their joint win by coalition. Apparently this is entirely allowed but frankly it seems scummy as fuck.

Somewhere in this Schlatt and Quackity become a couple?????

Anyway George sleeps through the election, likely costing Wilbur the presidency, and we gave poor George so much shit about sleeping in that he made it into incredible lore. But that comes later.

Schlatt, still not remotely in the realm of fucking around, exiles Wilbur and Tommy.

Somewhere during this section a faction called the Badlands is formed, headed by (you guessed it) Bad, who wants to create chaos. And boy does he eventually!

Also Eret is King of SMP which is a useless title since Dream wants the “king” to be an entirely apolitical figurehead.

Anyway Wilbur and Tommy end up in a ravine they call Pogtopia. They’re plotting revenge, all of L’Manburg regrets electing Schlatt (who becomes an alcoholic, yes this is relevant) and generally no one is happy.

Wilbur’s mental health deteriorates in isolation and both Fundy and Tubbo act as spies.

Dream gets Wilbur some TNT.

Somewhere in this time Technoblade comes into the picture, and shit starts to get real. And we see Quackity’s first ever interaction with Techno which was also my first time ever hearing Techno’s voice and When I say my heart turned itself inside out-

ANYWAY....A festival is planned by Schlatt, with Tubbo as the keynote speaker. Wilbur plans to blow up the area of the festival with bombs underground on Tubbo’s cue, but when the time comes he can’t find the button. Instead Schlatt calls for Tubbo to be boxed in behind the podium, then explains that he knew he was a spy. Schlatt then calls Techno up onto the stage and orders him to execute Tubbo or be attacked.

Presumably because having Tubbo held hostage would be worse than one red pawn, techno shoots Tubbo thrn fucks shit up and runs. Wilbur and Tommy are pissed, Tommy fistfights Techno and loses, and half of the city goes “fuck this we’re going to the ravine!” And joins Pogtopia.

Long story short Techno kits everyone out, Wilbur has like five separate mental breakdowns, there’s a big battle that pogtopia wins by a landslide, and then everyone realizes no one saw Schlatt all morning.

They find him in Wilbur’s old drug van, where he has a heart attack and dies surrounded by the entire server who all have absolutely no idea how to deal with this and it’s all very awkward cause no ones ever perma died before and also it was kind of really funny how it happened but no one wanted to admit it.

So they just kind of go back to the festival stage.

Wilbur says he’s going to step down as President and give it to Tommy

Tommy says he’s not fit for the role as his ongoing drama with Dream and the disks is a conflict of interest, and hands it back to Wilbur.

Wilbur then hands it to Tubbo (who was the next in line, as far as cabinet roles) Wilbur then excuses himself and says he’ll be back in a moment.

Tubbo announces his first presidential decree is to take down the festival decorations, and everyone starts working together, and it’s all happy for like a solid two minute until Wilbur blows the city sky high with all his tnt and Techno starts shooting people and summoning withers cause he wanted there to be no new government at all.

And just before Wilbur blew it up, Phil arrived.

And I’m pretty sure you know what happened next. In the words of Phil himself “I stabbed my son! It was pogchamp, and then I cried”

And so starts the Tubbo administration, president of a crater.

And that’s just up to about mid November but I just noticed it’s two am so the Tommy Has A Bad Day(or several) arc and the “we almost had a healthy relationship on this server” arc and the “here’s why everyone has memory problems and why the timeline is all fucky” arc and the “there’s an eldritch abomination under the city” arc have to wait.

Oh no! I just disrespected a British Minecraft YouTuber! I hope no sexy dream smp fans tie me up and spend hours explaining the lore of the entire server cause I’m too stupid to understand it (jk guys that would be baller)

[hoseokutie]

Market Boy pt.3

Part 1 Part 2

Words: 2.3K

Warnings: None 

                             ____________________________

It's been about a month and a half since you and Jungkook have been together, and things are going amazing. You two always spend time with one another while on your breaks, and you both are starting to spend time at each others apartments.

You guys have been spending so much time together that you both seemed to have forgotten to introduce one another to your friends, and they are starting to get curious. Especially Jungkook's friends.

"Jungkook you can't hide her from us forever. We're you're family too and we deserve to know." Jimin said as he followed Jungkook around the back of his parents shop.

"Jimin, I told you when the time is right then you will get to meet her, but as of now I want to wait." Jungkook told him setting the box down.

"Now are you going to help me unpack, or did you come here to pester me?" the younger boy asked cutting open the box and taking out its contents.

"Well if we're being honest here, I was sent by the other boys, because they thought that you would tell me who she was, but now that I see that I've failed, I'm going to buy some snacks for the get together tonight. Which you will be going to, correct?" Jimin asked him.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am. Unless you guys aren't telling me something." Jungkook said looking at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Not that I know of, but if you want to bring your mystery lady tonight then that would be great too." he said nudging Jungkook with his shoulder and raising his eyebrow.

In return Jungkook gave him a straight face and went back to unpacking the boxes diligently.

"So I'm going to assume that your silence means that you'll think about it!" Jimin patted Kookie on the back and walked towards the exit.

"Hey can I have one of the little candies?" He asked referring to the bowl of candy that was kept at the front of the store for the customers.

"Are you a paying customer?" Jungkook asked staring at him.

"I'm your best friend. That should be enough" He grabbed more than one piece of candy and Jungkook rolled his eyes because now Jungkook has to refill the candy bowl which is what he was trying to avoid.

Jimin smiled brightly and took his rations before leaving the tiny store.

"Have good day Mr. and Mrs. Jeon." Jimin said in Korean before walking out.

Jimin sighed to himself and pulled his phone out of his back pocket as he received a call from one of the boys.

"Well did he tell you who she was or what she looks like?"

"Well hello to you too Yoongi, and to answer your question, no he didn't tell me anything. I think we should just leave him alone and let him introduce her to us when he's ready" Jimin suggested as he popped the piece of candy into his mouth.

"Yeah and maybe I should go bald and move to a Buddhist temple." he said and Jimin stopped in the middle of the market and stared at his phone.

"You know sometimes I hate talking to you, because the words that come out of your mouth make absolutely no sense whatsoever and I wonder why I get my advice from you." Jimin said then stopped when he heard somebody call his name.

"Yoongs I'll call you back. Taehyung and Hoseok just walked in here." He told him just as he was about to hang up the phone.

"Hey! Tell Taehyung that if he doesn't buy me the candy that I asked for that I will hide the things that he loves the most." he said in a serious tone.

"Hyung you can't hide me, I'm too big." Jimin said jokingly smiling to himself, taking advantage of the moment.

"Don't underestimate me Park. Deliver the message and have a nice day." He hung up the phone and put it back into his back pocket.

"Hey, did you end up finding out anything about mystery lady?" Hoseok asked walking up to Jimin and wrapping arm around his shoulder.

"Nope, he's a difficult book to read. He really wants to keep her a secret. He's very serious about her, it's actually really cute." Jimin informed him as we went into the candy shop.

"Well I still would like to meet the lucky lady very soon." Hoseok said as he grabbed a small basket.

"Taehyung do you know what you're supposed to be getting?" Chim asked looking at a pack of gummy bears picking them up and putting them in the basket.

"Tae?" The older boy asked turning around to see why he didn't answer the question.

"Yeah hold this for me." He said handing him the mini shopping list and the basket he got for himself.

"Where the hell are you going?" Hoseok asked watching as he walked out of the shop.

"It looks like he's going to talk to the girl over there in the tea shop." Jimin mumbled.

"Oh dear God, why is he like this. Tae! We have places to go. Can you please do this another time?!" Hoseok whisper-yelled, but Taehyung still continued to walk over.

"We have to go with him, I want to see this. Yoongi and his candy can wait." Hoseok said putting the basket back in it's spot

"But Seokjin is expecting us home at a certain time so that he can start dinner." Jimin said as we walked over and into the shop setting ourselves down at a table.

"Well we'll just tell him that we were in traffic." He said picking up a menu.

"We live within walking distance!"Jimin said a little too loudly then quickly looked down becoming embarrassed.

"Stop your worrying Jimin. You worry too much." he said hitting Jimin on the shoulder. The older boys both looked over the menu and watched Tae as he walked up to the counter to talk to the girl at the register.

Taehyung walked up to the counter and leaned on his hand smiling at the girl at the counter. She was wearing a yellow sundress and her curly hair was in a large poof.

"Hi, how can I serve you today?" she asked smiling at him.

"I'll take a green tea, a blueberry muffin and maybe your phone number?" Taehyung asked smiling at her and she chuckled.

"I can only give you two out of the three things that you asked for, and my number isn't one of them." she said and he pouted taking out his wallet.

She's really cute, but I also have been craving green tea and blueberry muffins. Taehyung thought to himself.

"Well that's a bummer, but I'll take what I can get." He said handing her the money and taking my receipt from her.

"Is there actually anything I can get from you? Like maybe an Instagram, or even a twitter. I'll make a twitter if it means that I'll get to talk to you." He said and she laughed a little louder at his statement, grabbing his muffin then handing it to him.

"I win a lot of arguments if you didn't know by now." Taehyung said also taking his tea from her.

"Well don't get me wrong, you're definitely attractive, but I don't know if my-" Taehyung saw her pause as she looked towards her right.

He turned around to see what she was looking at and all he saw was Jungkook standing there looking lost.

"Hey Kookie!" Tae said loudly waving at him, he gave him a weird smile and waved back then quickly walked off nearly running to his family's shop.

"Do you know Jungkook?" He asked once she looked back at him and she shook her head.

"Nope, not all, I've um only seen his parents. Totally never met him before." she said clearing her throat.

"Interesting, ah right you were saying that you find me attractive but..."

"Well, I think you are very handsome and all, but I uh. Well I am actually a lesbian and I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate me dating a guy. I'm sorry." she said and Tae frowned.

"Well now I feel really bad." she said looking down.

"No don't feel bad. You like what you like. I should be the one apologizing. I didn't even let you get a word out. No hard feelings?" Tae asked and she smiled shaking his hand.

"No hard feelings, hey what's your name by the way?" she asked.

"Just call me Tae.." He told her and she nodded.

"Tae, I like that. It's got a nice ring to it." she said.

"Well I appreciate it Y/N"

"How do you know my name?" she asked and he chuckled.

"Well it's the name of your shop, and it's also on your name tag." He pointed that out and she placed her hand on his forehead shaking her head.

"Yeah I'm definitely not the most smartest girl in the world." she muttered out

"Well neither is my friend Jimin, isn't that right Chim?" Tae turned around and smiled at him and he smiled back and waved. She laughed and shook her head.

"I'm sure you guys are all smart in your own ways, oh look at that. More customers, I guess this is the end of our journey. It was great meeting you Taehyung." she said walking away

He smiled and walked over to sit with the two older boys who followed after him.

"So it looks like you lost this argument huh Tae?" Hoseok asked while laughing at me as he stood up.

"Sadly yes, but when you lose a battle, you can always win a war." Tae said proudly walking back to the shop where he was supposed to be originally.

"Yeah, I don't think that applies to this moment right now." Jimin said and Tae pushed him to the side.

"What the hell guys! Nobody has been answering my calls or texts, I got worried!" The boys turned around slowly and saw Jin, Namjoon, and Yoongi standing at the entrance of the store.

"Oh h-hey guys. I was just um strolling around the shops and well-" Jimin started.

"He was flirting with a girl, but she turned out to be a lesbian!" Hoseok said loudly and the guys laughed at him.

Tae crossed his arms and hit Hoseok on his arm.

Why the hell must he be so loud all the time. Taehyung thought to himself.

"Look, it all worked out okay? Her and I are friends and there are no hard feelings you jerks."

"Well that's obviously karma for not going to get the things like I asked you to. Now come on so I can make this meal for guys night." Jin demanded as he grabbed a shopping cart

"Why do you need a shopping cart and not a basket?" Tae asked knowing that they would probably be there for a little while.

"Don't ask questions Taehyung."

                              ______________________

It was closing time and you wiped off the last table of the day and walked back to the sink rinsing off the washcloth getting rid of any germs. You heard the bell on the door chime and rolled your eyes sighing lowly in annoyance.

"Sorry, we're closed!" you announced not bothering to turn around.

"Are you sure that you can't fit in one more person?" A familiar voice asked and she turned around smiling only to frown a few seconds later.

"I don't know, are you asking your girlfriend or the owner of this shop?" You said with an obvious attitude.

"Yeah, can we please talk about that?" he asked grabbing a seat and sitting down at a table

You sat the rug down and walked over sitting across from him crossing her legs and sitting back waiting to hear what he had to say.

"The reason I didn't want to introduce you to the boys yet, is because I'm scared and I like you a lot, and you're also the first girlfriend that I've ever had. I just want this to all work out well. I wanna take things slow with you and make sure that everything is perfect, y'know?" He always knows what to say to make someone feel like shit.

"Jungkook, I'm sorry. I was just upset, because of things that have happened in the past, and I didn't want that to happen again. Can you forgive me, please? For the second time this week?" You asked taking his hand in your own.

"As long as you can forgive me." He kissed your hand and smiled at me.

"Deal." You both said standing up and grabbing your bag from the table next to you both.

"What did you end up telling Taehyung anyway?" He asked you while he took the bag from your hands and you smiled awkwardly looking down.

"I told him that I was a lesbian, and that my girlfriend wouldn't appreciate me going out with a guy." You told him and he laughed loudly.

"Oh that will definitely be an interesting story to tell when you two officially meet, won't it?" he asked me and you hit his arm playfully.

"Oh shut up. I'm sure there are embarrassing stories out there about you that I don't know about, well not yet at least." You smirked at him and held his hand after locking up the shop.

"Yeah it's official you will never meet the boys now." He pulled you closer to him and kissed your cheek.

"Aw you're no fun." You said to him jokingly as you pulled away from him.

"Oh I can show you fun." He said suggestively and simply laughed loudly hitting his his arm again.

"Go home Jungkook, you're being weird."

"Yes ma'am, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"I can't wait!" Was the last thing you told him as you walked to the right of the sidewalk with a bright smile on your face.

[mental-health-advice]

Submission about a friend

Howdy. Hope you’re all well. I was wondering if somebody from here could help me at all. This is more me asking about a friend of mine who I’m scared about and unsure how to help. To cut a long story short, I have a dear friend who I believe may have serious problems with their mental health. Recently, he disclosed to a mutual friend of ours that he has become increasingly “paranoid” about us both over the past year but wouldn’t specify what he was paranoid about. He also heavily hinted that he has been deliberately trying put us off our studies this year by distracting us all year so we find it harder to concentrate and work (we’re all on the same college course sophomore year).

This is definitely true and these “distractions” was basically him talking to us about his problems (which is fine- he’s my close friend and I care for him so I’m happy to listen and help) for hours on end. Although I’m always there for my close friends, it got the point (around Thanksgiving time) where I wondered why he kept talking to us for hours each day and suggested to him that he may need professional help (as he was incredibly upset by and fixated on these problems). He dismissed this suggestion as he thinks having mental health problems on his college record may impact his career prospects. He has a health insurance card and works part-time so denied cost being an issue. He also mentioned to our mutual friend that I had been particularly easy to distract this year because I’m not as focused on the pre-recs as our mutual friend is.

We are currently in the middle of pre-rec finals so we are a bit stressed out about this. I am genuinely concerned that he is on the brink of psychosis/making an unwise decision (he has somewhat “jokingly” referred to some scary things in the past year and I am also very concerned he suffers from panic attacks). Basically, I am feeling so worried about him and I don’t know what to do. I keep asking him to get help and he says he will after class is over and summer vacation starts, but I’m afraid he’ll go back on this later when our classes end. I am also feeling very frustrated towards his actions this year to try and make me work less. Obviously, I understand mental illness makes people do odd things and I do believe he is a good person at heart, but I am finding it difficult to work out how much of this was down to mental illness and how much of it was genuine malice. This past year of me talking about these kinds of things with him has exhausted me mentally and I just wanted some advice on what I could do really. In terms of persuading him to get help and making sure I stay emotionally stable in the process.

Speaking to his parents/family/other friends is out of the question as he claims he comes from a strict Texas village where, apparently, most people don’t believe in mental illness.

I understand this isn’t really a standard ask for this blog and it is by no means urgent (or strictly about my mental health) so sorry if this ask isn’t really what this blog is for but I genuinely don’t know who else to turn to. Also, could I pretty pleeeeease request that this is posted anonymously? I don’t want to risk my friend finding it.

Thanks so much for reading this lengthy submission! You’re all wonderful people for working on this blog and I wish you well :)

Hi darling,

It definitely sounds like your friend has been struggling a lot! You’ve been an amazing friend to him, I really want you to see that! It can be really difficult to support someone in a time when they aren’t doing well, especially if they don’t seem to want to get professional help. You’ve truly been a great friend to him! What I really want you to know is that you will always come first though. It can’t be the case that you start struggling because of helping him!

What he’s been doing, deliberately distracting you from your studies, is not okay. I’m glad it’s something he’s admitted of doing, as that’s a good step for him to take, but that doesn’t make it okay. The thing with mental illness is that sometimes or often they can drive us to do certain things. And while our mental illnesses explain these things, it doesn’t mean that everyone around us should just be okay with what we’re doing, especially not if what we’re doing is hurting others. While mental illness might explain it, it doesn’t make it okay.

I think it would be good to talk to him once more about him reaching out for professional help. I don’t know where you live or how it all works there with records of everything, but I believe that reaching out for a mental health professional isn’t something that will go on a record that a potential employer will see. Maybe you can look into this a bit more, so that you can give him a more definite answer about it and can therefore dismiss his argument against seeking professional help. I also think it’s important to stress to him why you think it’s so important that he gets professional help. You want to help him, but you don’t know how to help him best. It isn’t always within your ability to help him, as sometimes you might not be around and you worry what happens then. I’m guessing that by now your holidays will have started, so I really hope that he’ll have followed up on his promise to get professional help now, but if he hasn’t, please discuss it with him once more.

I can definitely understand that you’re wondering about where his intent of distracting you from your studies is coming from. Maybe this is something you can straight up ask him? He might not reply truthfully, but there is a chance he will and if he does than this can help ease your mind a little. Something that I also think is good to keep in mind, is that while someone might be a good person at heart, that doesn’t mean they are perfect. Someone can be a good person but still have their flaws. It isn’t as black and white as being a good person or a bad person. I don’t think anyone is solely good or solely bad. It’s always a mixture, with an end result that leans towards one side. Keeping this in mind can maybe help in seeing that both can exist- he can be a good person, but he can still have done this bad thing.

Your emotional stability is what matters most, at all times. Talking to someone constantly can definitely be really exhausting, and if you ever find this happening again, or something else happening that is exhausting you, please do take a step back. This is completely allowed! You come first. It’s our golden rule here at MHA. You need to help yourself before you can help others.

I hope that this was at least a little bit helpful lovely! I wish you good luck in dealing with everything, and I genuinely hope that your friend gets the help he needs and that everything will work out. Take good care of yourself!

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard.

Keep fighting beautiful ❤ Love Pauline

[mvximoff]

Angelus ↠ Stiles Stilinski Fanfiction

Book 2  -  C H A P T E R  3

Title: Angelus Relationship: Stiles Stilinski x OC Author: Clara Book: 2 Description: Rori’s back and after the whole Alpha thing she just wants a break from the Supernatural. Who wouldn’t? But of course, when has Beacon Hills ever been calm? In this instalment of Angelus, Rori faces the Kanima and some shocking news concerning her boyfriend, Stiles ・ Season 2・

masterlist of chapters here

“Isaac?” I questioned to the wet boy shivering on my porch. “Was it your dad again?” He nodded and I pulled him in, shuffling him upstairs into my room. Quietly, so as not to wake Natalie or Lydia up. “Are you okay?” He nodded once more, not saying anything else. I sighed and went to look under my bed, finding clothes and an air mattress. I grabbed the cheap sweatpants and shirt I’d bought for Isaac whenever his dad would hurt or scare him. He kept some of his own clothes at my old house which is where he’d normally stay, with the exception to nights like these. I handed them over to him. “Here, have a shower.” I said softly and he nodded, still shaking as he went into my en suite bathroom.

I heard the shower go on so I flopped on the bed and began to text Stiles.

Isaac’s over again. Not sure what happened.

I would never tell Stiles or anyone for that matter what was happening with Isaac. Of course I wanted to get him help but he asked me to promise not to, saying he wouldn't let me help him if I did and I knew some help was better than none. All Stiles knew was that Isaac would sometimes come over if something bad happened in his family.

Do you want me to come over?

He texted back.

No, it should be fine. Thank you though. I’ll text you if anything happens. I love you xx <3

Okay, I love you, too :)

Just as I put locked my phone the shower turned off and a newly clothes Isaac come out, nervously.

“I’m sorry about this, Rori. I would have texted you but I just bolted and forgot my phone.” He said quietly, looking down at the floor.

“Isaac, it’s no problem. I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you a thousand times you’re always welcome here. Especially if you need help.” I pulled him into a gentle hug. He stiffened at first but wrapped his arms around my waist hesitantly. I ran my fingers through his damp hair comfortingly.

“Thank you.” He whispered. We pulled apart and I tugged out the air mattress from under my bed. I took blankets and pillows out of mine and Lydia’s connected wardrobe and set the up on the mattress. “Rori, you take the bed, I’ll sleep on the mattress for once.” I shook my head.

“You’re my guest. You’re sleeping in the bed.” I said with a firm tone but had a smile on my face. Isaac’s lip twitched and he sighed, knowing he’d never win in an argument against me. He climbed into bed, being careful not to wake up Rilien who stirred anyway. The German Shepherd glanced up at Isaac with dozy eyes before snuggling up to him. Isaac smiled and I got up, turning the light off and hopping back onto the air mattress.

“Goodnight, Isaac.” I mumbled.

“Night, Rori. Thank you for everything.” He mumbled before I slipped into sleep.

I grinned at Stiles and Scott and skipped up to them, ticking them off the lacrosse role call.

“Hello!” I chirped and Stiles pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek.

“Hey, is that my shirt?” He asked and I glanced down at the shirt I was wearing. Which was in fact his. I shrugged.

“Maybe.” He pecked my lips with a smirk.

“Was everything okay last night?” I nodded, knowing he was referring to Isaac.

“Yeah, everything was fine.” I assured him before turing to Scott.

“Hi Scotty!” I greeted and he grinned.

“Hey Rori.” He greeted back before turning to Stiles. “Did you get something better than handcuffs this time?”

“Yeah, much better.” Stiles responded and opened his locker when without warning, thick silver chain began to fall out, Stiles tried to stop it but decided it was better off just leaving it. Scott’s mouth dropped opened and I had to cover my own to prevent it from doing the same. The coach walked over and we waited in silence until the end of the chain finally hit the floor, the whole locker room staring at us by now. We all stared at it for a moment before the coach spoke up.

“Part of me wants to ask. The other part says knowing will be more disturbing than anything I could ever imagine. So...” He trailed off moving away from us. “I'm gonna walk away. Just...don’t hurt each other...” He looked in between Stiles and I

“That's good. That's a wise choice, coach.” Stiles replied.

“Great now everyone thinks I’m into BDSM.” I mumbled to Stiles jokingly as al three of us picked up the chain.

“Are you?” He asked and my jaw dropped.

“Stiles!” I gasped and hit his shoulder.

“Ouch!”

“You deserved that.” I said, brandishing a finger at him.

Scott stopped suddenly and began looking around. “You okay, Scott?” I asked.

“Scott?” Stiles repeated when I got no answer.

“There's another. In here, right now.” Scott said, alarm in his voice.

“Another what?” Stiles questioned.

“Another werewolf.” Scott replied and I felt my eyes widen and I began subtly looking around.

I walked out of the boys locker room, still searching for a few people. A Matt Daehler, Thomas Newton and Jackson (Whittemore). I quickly found Thomas, a tall, skinny boy with short blonde hair (A/N: wink wonk if u get who I’m talking about let me know). I then went in search for Matt Daehler and Jackson but I didn’t have a clue who Matt was. Maybe he was new to the team or something? Or maybe I’d just assumed he was here the other times. I shrugged and went in search for Jackson. I quickly found him and ticked him off. Sitting next to him was a fairly handsome boy with dark hair. I walked up to him.

“Hi, are you Matt Daehler?” I asked and he nodded.

“Yeah. Nice to finally meet you, Rori.” He said. “I’d shake your hand but...” He trailed off and raised his gloved hands and I laughed.

“Okay then. I just needed to tick you off the role.” I saw Stiles run past me, I looked at he back of him confused. “Well, I’ll talk to you later, Matt.” He gave me a two fingered salute and I walked back over to Scott, sitting on the bench next to him.

“What’s he doing?” I asked him, referring to Stiles.

“I don’t know. He said he had an idea on how to find the other werewolf.” Scott shrugged as Stiles came running back over with a goalie’s net, passing it to Scott and sitting next to me so I sat in between them.

“I told coach you're switching with Danny for the day.” Stiles told him as he began to put on his protective pads.

“But I hate playing goal.” Scott said with a furrowed, confused.

“Remember when I said I had an idea? This is the idea.”

“Oh.” Scott said with a smile, making a sounds of realisation.

“There we go.” Stiles said.

“What's the idea?” Scott asked and Stiles stared at him dumbfounded for a moment.

“I seriously don't understand how you survive without me sometimes.” I giggled.

“I don’t think he can.” I said and Stiles grinned, leaning down and pressing his lips softly against mine.

“Let's go! Line it up! Faster!” The coach yelled. “Stilinski!” Stiles’ head shot up as his lips parted from mine. “Get away from your girlfriend and get on the field.” Stiles rolled his eyes.

“Love you.” I said with a smile.

“I love you, too.” He replied and ran on the field.

The practices got started. Scott was stood in front of the goal and every single time someone ran to make a shot, he’d tackle them and smell them. Full on sniffing. I cringed. Surely he could just take a non suspicious sniff and be over with it. Jackson made up an excuse of his shoulder hurting and up next was Isaac, but as soon as I laid eyes on him I knew who the new werewolf was. I sat there in shock as I took in his arched form and eyes which flashed yellow for a moment. I stood up when I saw Mr. Stilinski walking onto the field, two other officers following him.

“Don’t tell ‘em.” I heard Isaac whisper to Scott. “Please don’t tell them.”

“His father's dead. They think he was murdered.” Scott told us.

“Are they saying he's a suspect?” Stiles asked.

“I'm not sure, why?”

“Because they can lock him in a holding cell for 24 hours.” My eyes widened.

“Like overnight on a full moon.” I said. “He would have only just been turned.” Stiles nodded in agreement.

“How good are these holding cells at holding people?” Scott asked Stiles.

“People? Good. Werewolves? Probably not that good.”

“Stiles, remember when I said I don't have the urge to maim and kill?” Scott questioned.

“Yeah.” Stiles replied.

“He does.” Isaac looked behind us and he met my disappointed eyes before turning back forward as the police officers guided him away.

I sat in front of Danny, struggling to get the work done. My mind was too focused on Isaac. Why didn’t he tell me? We were friends right? I thought he could trust me. Danny nudged my foot under the table.

“You okay?” He asked concerned.

“Yeah, just worried about Isaac.” He nodded in understanding. Stiles suddenly whirled around to face us.

“Danny, where’s Jackson?” He asked.

“In the principal's office talking to your dad.” Danny told him.

“What? Why?” Stiles questioned.

“Maybe because he lives across the street from Isaac.” Stiles turned back around to Scott and began discussing how they had to get to the principals office and I mentally groaned knowing they’d have some weird plan about how to get there.

Before I could think any further a paper ball was flung into the back of Mr. Harris’ head and he stood stock still for a moment before whirling around.

“Who in the hell did that?” He said angrily. Stiles pointed at Scott, who pointed to me, making me panic and point at Stiles.

Stiles and Scott were sad on the chairs outside the principals office where as I stood in front of the chairs as we all listened in on the conversation between the Sheriff and Jackson.

“Listen to me, you're telling me that you knew Isaac's father was hitting him?” The Sheriff asked.

“Hitting him? He was kicking the crap out of him.” Jackson scoffed.

“Did you ever say anything to anyone? A teacher, parents, anyone?”

“Nope. It's not my problem.”

I sighed and stopped listening, I couldn’t listen to how selfish Jackson was. Guilt swelled in me and I was regretting never telling anyone about Isaac. I would have preferred to sacrifice my friendship with him than have him being in the situation he’s in now.

The Sheriff exited the office and Stiles pulled me onto his lap, trying to hide from his dad who looked at me with a raised eyebrow, wondering if Stiles seriously thought this would fool him.

“Hi Scott, Aurora.” Scott and I both waved at him.

“Hi Sheriff.” I greeted and looked at Stiles once more before they began walking away.

“Boys...and Aurora.” I heard a familiar voice say. My eyes widened, I turned around to face Gerard Argent. “C’mon in.” I then realised I was still sitting in Stiles’ lap so I immediately scrambled up with a blush.

We all walked into his office which only had two chairs which Stiles and Scott were quick to occupy. Stiles discreetly patted the small space next to him on his chair. I walked over and sat down, half on Stiles and half on the chair which was a surprisingly comfortable position.

“Scott McCall.” Gerard drew out, looking at Scott’s file.“Academically not the most accomplished, but I see you have become quite the star athlete.” He stated impressed and Scott nodded awkwardly.

“Mr. Stilinski.” Gerard picked up Stiles’ file. “Oh, perfect grades but little to no extracurriculars. Maybe you should try lacrosse.”

“Oh, actually I'm already-” Stiles began but Gerard interrupted him, holding a finger up. Stiles deflated slightly and I rubbed his leg as comfort.

“Hold on. McCall.” He began. “You're the Scott that was dating my granddaughter.”

“We were dating but not anymore. Not dating, not seeing any of each other or doing anything with each other - At all.” Scott said nervously.

“Relax, Scott, you look like you're about to crack a cyanide pill with your teeth.”

“Just a hard breakup.” Scott covered.

“Oh, that's too bad. You seem like a pretty nice kid to me.” He then picked up another file. “Now, onto you, Miss Carter. Moved here not too long ago. Good grades but like Mr. Stilinski over here, little to no extracurricular activities apart from an animal welfare course you did and helping Coach Finstock manage the Lacrosse team.” I nodded.

“Yes sir, but they ended up canceling the animal welfare course.” I replied.

“Well, that’s a shame.” He sighed. “Now listen, guys. Yes, I am the principal, but I really don't want you to think of me as the enemy.”

“Heh, is that so?” Stiles scoffed sarcastically. Either Gerard ignored him or he didn’t notice Stiles’ comment completely as he continued talking.

“However, this being my first day, I do need to support my teachers. So unfortunately someone is going to have to take the fall and stay behind for detention.” Gerard, Scott and I all stared at Stiles who was playing with his hands, when he finally looked up he noticed us all staring at him and sighed.

I ran out of the office with Scott, searching for Isaac. We exited the school just in time to see Isaac sat in the back of a police car, he turned around and looked at us as the car drove off. I sighed and we went to go back in when another car pulled up at the bottom of the steps. Derek was leaning over, looking at us through the passenger window.

“Get in.” He commanded. Trusting him, I went to walk down the steps when Scott grabbed my bicep.

“You’re serious?” Scott questioned. “You did that, that’s your fault.” He gestured to where off to the side where the car exited.

“He’s got a point.” I agreed.

Derek sighed. “I know that.” He admitted. “Now get in the car and help me.” There was an undertone of desperation in his voice. I went to walk down again but Scott once more held me back.

“No, I've got a better idea.” He said angrily, walking down the steps, pulling me along with him. “I'm gonna call a lawyer. Because a lawyer might actually have a chance at getting him out before the moon goes up.”

“Scott...”I mumbled, just wanting us to get in the car and help. No matter whose fault it was, Isaac was still in trouble and a danger to himself and others.

“Not when they do a real search of the house.” My head snapped to Derek in confusion.

“What do you mean?” I asked, stepping closer to the car.

“Whatever Jackson said to the cops, what's in the house is worse. A lot worse.” He opened the car door and I immediately pulled myself from Scott and crawled into the back. Scott hesitated for a moment before he also got in as we sped off.

~ Clara