#i never wanna here you sayy

[biteyoubiteme]

perfect practice

soobin x fem!reader

warnings: 🔞!! size kink, size training, sex toys, belly bulge, breeding kink, no protection, creampie, prob forgot some sorry

wc: 800

an: short drabble <33 feedback is appreciated! [m.list]

he always starts by sloppily eating you out. not caring how your wetness drips down his chin; the lewd sounds accompanying your moans. He will make sure to get you off once maybe even twice depending on if he can stop himself.

His main goal was always to get you as slick as possible to be able to take any toy he had gotten for you. As soon as you two started dating, Soobin had gotten a set of dildos, four different sizes starting at 5 inches and going to 8.

Maybe he had been presumptuous about you being open to the idea but as soon as he saw the clear silicone set he couldn’t stop himself from imagining slipping each one into you training you to take his cock.

and as much of a perv he was in theory he wasn’t as open with you about that side of himself until he was knuckles deep into feeling your walls flutter around his fingers when he brought it up. “I wanna fuck you I just don’t think you can handle me right now,” your whining at the implication of not being stuffed full of his cock was nearly enough to make him ditch the idea all together but he held strong. “I got you a little gift to practice with first,” your hips were already rolling on his fingers ready for another round.

soobin had pulled out the smallest dildo in the set showing it off to you before making you cum hard enough to see stars. it wasn’t until the next time that you realized what was happening and you had been punished on the six-inch dildo, begging soobin to fuck you. “Only two more baby, you can be patient,” he didn’t even know how he was resisting watching the way you were being stretched out was leaving him straining in his jeans ready to burst with the smallest touch.

when you were finally down to the last dildo all eight inches slipped into you after soobin had been attached to your clit without remorse leaving you slick enough to take anything he wanted to give you. “I’m a little thicker than this but I’m sure you can take me now huh?” but it’s no use talking to you at this point already cresting on your third orgasm. your back is arching as you cum but soobins pulling away the last dildo the rivulets of wetness still stuck to the silicone making him groan as he pulls himself from his jeans.

Even with the training you can tell the difference in the stretch, the remnants of your orgasm sucking him in deeper as your walls flutter around the girth of him. you swear you can feel him in your throat, every thick vein pulsing as he pushes into you. you’re absolutely brainless as he fills you, the only sound leaving you are moans you’ve never heard yourself make before.

“oh you feel so perfect, sucking me in, taking my cock so well. perfect fit- fuck-“ he can’t keep control of himself slipping in and out of you at a delicious pace made much better from all the prep, the squelching sounds filling the room. soobin takes your hand to place over your lower belly pressing down so that you can feel the bulge of his cock. your moans mix as you feel him hitting your gspot the added pressure making you feel every thrust down to your toes.

“you feel how deep I am? now that you can take me I’ll be here,” he grunts pressing your hand down on your pelvis, “almost every night pounding into you,” he presses his lips to your ear, “filling you up. perfect practice for when we’re ready to have a baby,” your sweet whines music to his ears as you scratch down his back, “you like that huh? you want my baby?”

you’re absolutely squeezing him at the idea making it hard to keep thrusting but he’s already twitching ready to shove his hips as close as he can to yours. “no more practice to take my cock but practice to take my load, keep it as long as you can inside you, as far as I can get it, over and over again,” he doesn’t even know what he's saying anymore blabbering as your legs start shaking, hips sinking back as you arch orgasm taking over you for the fourth time.

when he cums he stills right against your cervix the warmth filling you up as you cling to soobin pulling him as close as you can get him. Neither of you can form sentences for a while taking deep breaths to try and bring your minds back. “we will definitely have to do that again, you know what they say practice makes perfect,”

[romsabombs]

GUYS the new malevolent is insane so i just thought i'd drop my notes in here✍️ ENJOY it's a lot

freaky ahh cavern

😦😦😦

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

the man is bathed in darkness👹 john thats racist

mf literally been crucified this is so arthurs religious trauma

that is not what bones sound like i think

shes so me awful posture

me at 4am in the kitchen looking for a snack

WAIT oh yuck :/

HAHA THEY'RE IN HIS NOSTRILS

PRINCE MENTIONED

car accident thats so season 1

this is kind of like a hat in time maybe

omgg a witch :3

arthur survives the wildest shit but i think a mcdonalds sprite would kill him

AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!😨😨 YUCK YUCK EW EW RAAAHHH

WHAAAAAT

cant we only do allat to corpses

omg spit it out john

YEAAHHHH HES DEAD

🤭🤭🤭YIPPEE I KNEW IT

omggg thats so janey :33

hes bein puppeted by the maggots thats crazy

STOP TELLING HIM TO KILL THINGS HAHA

omgg kaynes dagger <33

how can this mf be helpful

this is so tmp a bit

rotten flesh mentioned minecraft ref

HAHA WHAAT THATS SO GROSS

the maggots be like i have your fucking eyes👹👹👹👹

OMG WHAT THE HELL zombie arc

claustrophobia again

imagine harlan recording this

omg that's so sexy 🔥🔥 decapitated his ass

HAHA WE'RE ONLY 11 MINUTES IN??

LMAO john stop saying things

YES JOHN it WOULD have been helpful to know this guy didnt have any eyes

"this isnt new york anymore" thank god amiright

his head between our legs🤨

its so funny how he calls it a pinky. didnt someone on tumblr say john wouldnt know finger names

im surprised arthur still has a shirt

the flesh feels stiff😟

this guy is still alive😦 or. dead. i guess

arthur is like weirdly normal about this guy being a zombie. i know hes seen shit (no he hasnt) but come on

faroes song ☹️

YEAHH PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTHH💪

oh what😐 the prince🙄

what did he sayy

oh gross come on guys😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 at this point just put it in your own mouth

"id like to think this is the most insane thing we've ever done" 💀

teehee they dont wanna seperate :3

YEAH! AND FAROE

"everyone we've ever loved" weak. also john doesnt care about anyone but you

"we cant afford to not use every resource anymore" HAHA this is so funny because didnt you throw away everything youve ever owned last episode

yippee welcome back vanguard :3

nothing😟 WAIT YIPPEE :3

WELCOME BACK VANGUARD‼️☝️

omg names mentioned

wait. yorick? llorick? thats the thing arthur said

its not lorick that was the guy from the dreamlands

WOAH WAIT WOAH HUH

hey what the fuck did that mean😀

omg what. rumpelstiltskin

HAHA hes so loser

OMG wait they said stanzyck right

ofcourse anna is dead bruh we were never gonna meet her

arthur and john both being "kings"😟

this tooth is so silly🥰

everyones walking over arthur today💀

they're so miscommunication <3

hey😀 hey whats that sound

DONT SAY IT ugh the prince

"ahh yes :3"

OH😨😨😨😨 A WHAT

SHUT UP🗣️👹 HAHA THATS SO SILLY

this guy is so kayne. and a bit autistic

wait r we just carrying around this skull

bro arthur sounds so tired

ooo this would go hard as a cosplay

i cant believe he has a belt

EUGH YUCK😦

ooo the black stone perchance?

ok i guess not

omg god forbid a girl has hobbies🙄

"im not saying its not risky. what im saying is, it might be worth the risk" that line goes hard

arthur agreeing to this is like a dad saying "okay fine we'll go to mcdonalds🙄"

no reward without risk✊💥

"we're in the lion's den already" "it is a hag's womb👹" HEHEHE

HAHA SILLIES HEHEHEEHE🤭🥰

oooohh johnn 😶‍🌫️

OH 😦 ohhh 😀 u have his memories

clever girl

"thanks yorick😐" "you too my king🤗" "shut up🙄👹"

yorick is so me absolutely no sense of social cues

ofcourse we'd encounter a witch here it was so obvious

"try to keep straight" pff

did john say im serving

hey yeah maybe dont go towards the light😀

LMAO LOOK AROUND? foul

when is the jumpscare happening

i have no idea what he's saying

"too much to make out" MAKE OUT?🤭

LMAO he doesnt know

pregnant meat☹️⁉️

hey i thought asking the vanguard questions would have a price🤨😀

imagine if he just crushed that zombies skull like its a good thing we just decapitated him

hes literally describing my room

you're my eyes☹️

they're acting as if the lighter would give us much light

omgg shes a little interior decorator

tapestry lore!!💪

five minutes left whats gonna happen

wuh ohhh somethings gonna happen

THE STAIRS ARE GONE!!!😬

ur literally in her home leave her alone

his ass is panicking

this is so part 18 the madness

we're trapped :( :(

"ingenious decision king🤓" "SHUT UP👹"

SPRINT!!!!!! 🏃🏃🏃🏃

OH???? 😦😦😦😦 WHAT

IMPALED???M???MNFJREJSJ HUHH

--

omggg he got marcy'd

i saw fanart of this but i lowkey couldnt tell if it was a spoiler or not💀

hot take but if he got bitten by that zombie he could prolly survive this

HUHHH bro this is like part 27 the roots. he was less dramatic about it this time tho

bro yorick finally shut up💀

sooo where did he get impaled. like if in the heart hes cooked😬

[therussiancourier]

2024.

lots of rambling. art summary in the end

Hey, it’s FINALLY the end of 2024. This year was… truly something. So many things have happened and so much has changed, including my art. It’s so confusing and I don’t know where to start.

One of the biggest things that has happened to me is that I’ve lost someone close to me, a family member. It wasn’t an unexpected loss, but it sure as hell did hurt. Still hurts and may hurt for a long time, but that’s life. And life is tough as fuck at times. I miss that person and sometimes it still doesn’t seem real that he’s gone. Still, one thing I know for sure - he would be proud of who I am becoming. And that’s something to fight for.

One of the other things is that I dropped out of school and got into a rather good college. It feels so much more freeing being here and I love it. I finally feel at peace with my future and it seems like I have a goal to work forward to. I see my own existence not just as a bypasser of my own life anymore. I’m not as afraid to interact with people, I have nice small talks and… I’m growing. That’s something I didn’t expect. 

My best friend of a few years and I are driving apart. We had it coming and I know that people come and go but still it's weird. I hope for all the best for my buddy. He’s a smart fella and has a lot of potential. I haven’t been the best friend I could be and I hope he can find somebody worthy. 

Enough about bad things. Let's talk about good ones. The best ones even. I’ve met my partner this year and they are the most wonderful person. I am just so thankful to have him by my side. I hope to continue growing with them. Future seems bright so far!

This post is much more serious than the last one hahhahah.hahhahah. I’ve only now come to realize that. Oops! Welp, I just wanted to share some things that matter to me and changed me throughout the year. I feel calm and certain that I can handle whatever’s to come in my life. But enough of that. Let’s discuss the other side of my life. My art! My creations! MY SOUL!

I grew as an artist a hella lot. And my biggest passion so far isn’t even Fallout which is… weird. I’ve grown sooo, soooooo attached to Lethal Company, I’ve created so many OC’s (my separate and the ones with my dearest partner), I’ve written so many short texts that I never posted anywhere. My artstyle evolved. And now I mainly draw in Clipstudio. Just stop me from changing programs every damn year already. Anyways, I've been very passionate about this game and it's been the fire in my heart. In artistic way. fuck me i don't know what am i sayying

I haven’t been in the DSAF fandom for long this time but I did so much while in there. I still look back with such love in my heart. I promise you, I will come back someday. And I will continue this forsaken comic that I adore very much. It is my proudest creation after all. 

Fallout is still in my heart at all times. I drew it only a little. but still. Nick Harston you're still my favourite OC. i ,ove his dumbass

In 2025 I want to continue drawing, writing, and doing what I love. I’m thinking of starting a new project with my Lethal Company OCs. I wanna do something for myself! Have fun! You know!!!!! Anyways, I will include a small collage of my drawings from this year and probably write something about them. I’ve been drawing so much. 

And I can say that… I’m proud of myself. I’m so proud of myself for everything I do. I love myself. And I wish the best for everyone who’s reading this post. All the love to you and I hope the next year will be kind to you. 

Big thanks to all the people who still follow my blog. 435 insane folks locked up in here. I hope you can handle more of my ramblings and silly OC posts for another year! Heart emoji <3

i didn't put much in here because this canvas could become. too big. i have a lot of lethal company stuff this year tehhehe. i love it

a bit of fallout. not much though.

[theseuscloud]

Are you OK? - Keiji Shinogi & Reader Oneshot

CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS: Keiji Shinogi & reader, Keiji Shinogi x reader

TAGS: Comfort, Hurt / Comfort, Hugs

Warnings: Panik attack, mentions of death

Summary: After Mishima's death, Keiji is there to comfort you

Word Count: 727

----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----

Shit.

He was dead.

Professor Mishima was dead.

The whole world went mute.

You retained a gag, trying not to puke on the spot.

Why did this happen? Was this supposed to happen? Maybe it was just a horrible mistake, or a trick of some sort, maybe… Maybe he was alive, maybe he didn't die, maybe everything was alright and this was just a sick joke, maybe…

The truth hit you a second time, the nauseating smell of burnt meat stuck in your nose. You heard someone screaming, although you were far too in shock to distinguish who it was.

I have to run.

I have to get away.

The door was open, and without a second thought, you ran out of there, not wanting to turn back, not daring to look at anyone ever again fearing to see another set of dead eyes.

Not aware of where exactly where you going aside from just "away", your feet took you to the bar. Good enough as any place to try to not have a fucking panic attack, although maybe you were a bit late for that already. Almost falling trying to sit on a stool, head resting on your hands, you attempted to control your breathing.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in… Fuck

A couple of tears made their way down your cheek, your inner emotional wall was completely destroyed. Head falling on your arms, you're unable to control yourself at this point. The sound of your sobs and desperate gasps for air fill the quiet room.

----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----

The sound of steps woke you up. Had you fallen asleep? Fuck, you were not ready for this, your whole body tensed up as the steps approached, you really didn't want to see anyone, all you just wanted was to hide and never be found again, fuck, fuck, the steps were almost here, think, hide, do something you pathetic human being!

All you could do was bury your face in your crossed arms even more.

"You're here"

A mildly familiar voice, you recognized as the blonde policeman, what did he want?

Keiji sat on the stool next to you.

You both sat in silence, your face still hidden in your arms, not wanting to look up nor talk to him, but still finding him a little bit comforting, even if it was just his presence.

Minutes passed in silence, neither of you saying a single word, but it wasn't necessary, the air of the room felt as cozy as the recent events allowed it to be.

Suddenly, you felt a hand patting your head.

It felt… Nice

"Wanna talk about it?"

The sound of his lazy voice was oddly relaxing, so you turned your head just a bit, letting him catch a glimpse of your still slightly swelled face.

His gaze examined you with a soft expression, you looked back at him, not wanting to let this rare moment of comfort within this torture end yet, needing this just a little longer.

Keiji didn't pressure you to talk, he just continued gently patting your head.

"I…"

Your voice sounded raspy and you immediately regretted talking when you saw his face, but for some reason, you wanted to tell him… What exactly? He could already see how much it had affected you. The regret grew even more.

"I didn't want this to happen"

Was this the best you could muster?

He looked at you, and a glimpse of relief flashed through him. Maybe because he didn't expect you to talk? You weren't sure

"I know"

He said softly

The comfortable silence grew once more, you closed your eyes, letting him play a bit with your hair.

Minutes passed, but after what felt like seconds he spoke again, this time with a more shy-sounding voice, like he was unsure of how he should say it.

"Want… a hug?"

You opened your eyes, he wasn't facing you, but you saw the slight frown on his eyebrows, like he was scolding himself internally for saying it.

"I'd like to"

His gaze went back to you, visibly taken aback by you accepting his offer. He didn't seem annoyed by it.

You got up with your still mildly trembling limbs, and almost threw yourself at him, both of you surprised at how much you needed this hug.

Maybe, you thought, he needed it too.

[sanchoi21]

Seven Minutes in Heaven

Toji Fushiguro x Reader.

Please Note: Toji, Megumi, Nobara and Yuji are your classmates. No mentions of Toji as Megumi’s dad, as he is just your classmate for now. So assume Toji is your age and both are your classmates. Otherwise it’s fluff. Images are not mine. Credits to owner: Beesflyy.

You were playing truth and dare with your classmates. It was your free lecture so, Nobara had suggested that. Yuji spinned the bottle and it landed on Megumi. As usual he chose truth because the dare you guys gave were always nasty. Toji too was your classmate who was not involved in the game, he was just busy at reading the book in his hands as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. You had asked him to join you guys but he politely denied. You were a bit disappointed as you wanted him to play. You had a strong crush on him and no one knew about that, including your BFF Nobara.

After many rounds it landed on you and you picked dare. Nobara said, “Seven minutes in heaven with anyone from this class and in a closet.” Hearing her you could only think of one person with whom you would like to do this challenge. You were quite open when it came to your feelings, so you got up from the seat and walked towards Toji. You put both of your arms on his desk, which distract him from his reading and he cocked up a brow. “I wanna do seven minutes in heaven with you. It’s a dare.” Hearing your words his eyes widened a little but a mischievous smirk plastered on his face and he responded, “Sure, why not?”

Hearing his approval, not only you but all your classmates were shocked, as Toji isn’t the type of guy to get involved with random chicks, he always minded his own business and was quite uninterested in other stuff that is normal for teenagers.

You smiled at him and took his hand, guiding him to one of closets. He followed you like a lost puppy. You both were followed by the trio also that they can count exact seven minutes. When you reach the closet, you opened it, it was indeed cramped but you anyways entered first inside followed by Toji. As soon as he got in, Yuji closed the door from behind.

It was very dark inside with only a few rays of light entering through the gap of door frame. Toji was flushed against you almost pinning you down towards the wall by his broad shoulders. He got stiff as soon as you leaned closer and pulled him closer towards you. You hugged him tightly by his neck, he instinctively put his hands on your waist, hugging you back.

Toji: Y/n... May I know, what’s all this now?

Y/n: Fine fine, I’ll tell ya. I love you Toji will you be my boyfriend?

Toji: Y-You.. Who the hell proposes so suddenly and in this way??

He was blushing hard and stuttering, which he never did, all the more reason to like him.

Y/n: I always wanted to ask you out but never had enough courage but today when you agreed to come here with me, I thought I might not get rejected.

Toji: I haven’t said yes yet, so what are you gonna do??

You didn’t give him any chance to talk more and pulled him in for a kiss. Your lips and body collided with his, forming some pleasurable friction. His lips were so soft, that you could easily melt in them. He kissed you back as you deepened the kiss. You licked the scar on his lips which earned a little whine from him. In return he bit your lower lips making you open your mouth as his smooth tongue entered your mouth and started exploring it. Your tongues fought for dominance in which he won later as you mewled his name softly in his mouth. After the intense make out session, both of you pulled away breathless.

Y/n: S-so now what?? Do you agree to be mine??

Toji: P-princess.. I love you too, I always have. Y-you are just so fucking c-cute I can’t help but tease you.

Y/n: I knew it, you could easily say no or have pushed me away but here we are kissing each other. You said chucking as you kissed his cheeks.

Toji: You turn me on Y/n. Your so stubborn at times and bold attitude adds to it.

Saying this he lifted your one leg up and you instantly wrapped it around his waist, grinding on him and pulling him even more closer than before. You both groaned at the sensation. As you both were about to lean in for another kiss, you heard the clicking of door, making you both snap your necks in the direction of light.

Nobara, Yuji and Megumi’s eyes widened at your position as by now you were straddling Toji’s hips. You both instantly pulled apart and blushed red. Nobara squealed while Yuji and Megumi averted their gazes embarrassed. Nobara: So congratulations on becoming a couple, Y/n and Toji. Yuji: You both should get a room already.

Megumi: Yeah he’s right you should!!

Yuji said laughing loudly. Followed by Nobara and Megumi snickering. Embarrassed you gently smacked Yuji on head and gave Nobara and Megumi a glare, while hitting both of their arms, as she dramatically said, “that hurts!” And soon the bell rang indicating the start of the new period as you and Toji both returned to your seats with your thumping heartbeats.

[queen-mischief-fanfiction]

A walk in the park with a friendly face

Pairing: Kraven the Hunter X squirrel Girl (if you squint)

Fandom: Kraven the hunter

Description: After another fight with his on off lover Calypso Kraven goes off for a wonder in Central Park where he meets a familiar face.

A/N: hey guys I know it’s been a while but I’m getting back into writing thanks to a certain actor in a certain role. I do love hearing feedback, I know this isn’t the best but it’s a small blurb about how I think Squirrel Girl would work with this new iteration of Kraven. If you do like this ship and what I have written maybe in the future I will write more, I do need to clean up my site though to show off my stories better.

Story:

It happened again, Kraven and Calypso had another fight about him, his father and well his whole hunting down and killing of people he thought were unworthy of being called hunters. It was routine for them at this point, they fight, break up, he goes out for a walk, they make up, have sex, rinse and repeat, so here he was currently walking in the greens of Central Park. Some may say that it was unhealthy or toxic but to them it was routine and was how their relationship worked, did he hate it? No, was it tedious? Yes, does his mind wander to other women? Of course, but he was and always will be a beast and therefore has never acted on this impulse for fear of losing maybe the only person who never saw him as Kraven the hunter and only saw him as Kraven.

His mind was brought back as he heard a distant creak of a tree branch, the forest was filled with animals, predators and prey alike but that wasn’t an animal he heard. Continuing as normal his other senses kicked in as his ears picked up a slight movement from the trees, his eyes saw a slight movement of shadow above him, and his nose had picked up a woodsy but not overbearing smell. He also started noticing that above him sitting in tree branches just watching him were squirrels, she never changes he thought fondly to himself as he stops in a small clearing “you can come out now Belka I know you’re there” “ohhh you totally ruined my surprise again,” he heard her whines before a small figure lands gracefully in front of him “, just once I wanna be able to get the jump on you” he chuckles at the thought of her sneaking up on him and being successful.

He gave her a look over as he hadn’t seen her in a while, she was still much shorter than he was even if she tried to be taller in her brown ankle boots which had a small heel on them just to boost her height. She was wearing a black undersuit that really did bring out her figure the older she got after losing her baby fat, and a brown furry leotard which Kraven can appreciate as a wearer of animal fur himself. He also noticed that her hair had gotten longer no longer was it cut pixie short but she was wearing it in a braid, she also had on her signature acorn earrings and her squirrel ears, and of course her large squirrel tail and her ever faithful companion Tippy Toe. “Your hair has gotten longer?” If he was observant, which he was, he would have noticed a faint blush dusting her cheeks “oh yeah, well things had gotten busy with college, stopping evil bad guys from destroying the planet and babysitting for the others I haven’t had much time to schedule a cut, but Nancy said that my hair looks nice but I don’t know it’s not very practical to be fighting crime with long hair” he had to stop himself from chuckling as she tended to ramble on but he found it endearing “Your friend Nancy is right it does look nice longer, but it’s your hair so your choice” she gave him one of her winning smiles that tended to showcase her buck teeth which honestly most wouldn’t have noticed until being told.

“Now, enough of the pleasantries, why are you here Belka? Because now is not a good time” he deadpanned to you, being slightly meaner to get her to leave, Squirrel girl shared a look with Tippy Toe who sat on her shoulder “well Calypso sent me a message saying that you might need to see a friendly face,” he glared at her “,okay it sounded like you needed to see a friendly face,” he continues to glare “,okay she really said that you were being an unstable psychopath and that if I wanted to keep my tail I should leave you alone” he was slightly offended by the implication that he would hunt Squirrel girl for her tail, not like he had imagined trying to hunt her down before with a very different ending “and here you are, why?” He repeats, he didn’t need to know how she knew he was there he was sure the squirrels told her. “Well … why wouldn’t I come? It sounded like things went really dark with Caly and I came to make sure you were alright and that you can talk to me” “right because that’s your whole thing talking to villains like me and then everything is sunshine and rainbows” he said mocking her as he walked by her but she was anything if persistent and so it didn’t take long for him to hear her following.

“Well sometimes it really does help to talk, it’s called healthy communication not that you would know anything about that, and furthermore I don’t just talk I can kick butt you aren’t the only one with super strength and lastly,” she rushed to stand in front of him making him stop up close to her and stare her down as she stared up “, lastly you aren’t a villain” he couldn’t stop the absolute drenched sound of his laughter at her words but she started back face unchanged “Belka I truly don’t understand you at all if I’m not a villain as you say then pray tell what am I?” He was genuinely curious “you’re an Anti-Villan” she answered him back confidently. “What the fuck is an Anti- villian? That sounds stupid” he says walking away but she didn’t let me get far as she jumped onto his back, her tail wrapping around his stomach to keep her balance as she moved to sit on his shoulders. He doesn’t react as he is used to her climbing him, “well you clearly aren’t a hero but Sergei you do very bad things to bad people which it is what deadpool does but he’s more an anti-hero but you don’t see yourself as a hero so anti-villian it is'' he couldn’t really argue with her logic, that was the problem as she was really good at debating, so there they both were walking together peacefully and quietly until Squirrel girl started humming her own theme song while gently taking her claws through his hair. “Have you gotten anyone to sing it for you yet?” “Weelll deadpool seemed interested but then he started writing his own bits and things got so weird so fast so no I’ll just continue to sing it while I’m kicking bad guy butts” this time he let out a chuckle, yeah things were much better with them as friends “hey Sergei?” “What Belka?” “Are you gonna take me to your Kra-van?” She giggles and he groans “I will drop you on your head” her giggles turn to laughter “no you wouldn’t you love me too much” yeah, he thought to himself, yeah I do.

[lorisystem]

.

I saw my therapist today so here some thoughts <3

She said im her best patient bc im her oldest (as in longest time spent in therapy w her) so im getting a good grade in therapy for real btw. Possible to achieve. Done it. Is anything something ive never achieved? I did it all the best. Anwyay,

I tell her im tired of being quiet about real self. I give and example of how im polyamorous. Shes like but is nobodys business u dont need to tell. Im like ok but theres situations where ppl think im normal. Give an example that happened. Im like. I wanna be myself about things and act real. Shes like ok but its fine if you just own up to it and IM LIKE, BUT I DONT!!!! I wan everbody nice to me still!!!!! i wanna sayy im polaymorus and like, still everyone nice to me!!!!!!! i told her im just a small animal etc this is so embarrassing to me i realize that. But is true. So anyway.

If anybody is mean to me about how i talk rite now <3 Im very mean back so dont be mean.

She s very nice to me. even though she said something i dont like she doesnt like it either i think and shes worried i never go back but i told her its ok. Its just how i feel but its ok. its bc i didnt go the alst time but i went this time.

She said we should work on giving me ways to be myself etc. so i can be ok about being myself etc. is so scary but nice to me

[moregraceful]

#rattling the windows of the nyt LET ME IIIIIINNNNNNN I WANNA READ THIS SO BADLY STOP PUTTING INTERESTING ARTICLES BEHIND A PAYWALL (@proceedwcandy)

no worries comrade I got you anytime 🫡 if the Athletic did not want me to wholesale copy and paste their articles then they should consider not putting ads in the app that I pay money for

What Sharks players got wrong (and have learned) about living in San Jose By Corey Masisak Mar 31, 2023

The idea for this edition of The Athletic’s ongoing series of stories called “What I Got Wrong” came from Nico Sturm.

Like Sturm, I recently moved to San Jose — it will be 15 months ago on April 10. When someone asked him early this season how he was adjusting to living here, he responded with, “It’s colder here than I expected.” Sturm began his NHL career in Minnesota, with a brief stop in Colorado last season.

Save for a 10-month hiatus in Charlotte, North Carolina, I spent my entire life living in the Northeast, or close enough to it — Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C. and New York City. I’d been to San Jose for work a few times, to San Francisco for work once and spent a couple days at an NHL owners’ meeting on the 17-mile drive (Spanish Bay, though the hotel I stayed at felt a million miles away from the majesty of those golf courses, both literally and figuratively).

The day I was offered the opportunity to move here and cover the Sharks, I didn’t know a lot about the area — all of my time in San Jose was spent downtown. I did a lot of research before actually moving out here, but a few things still surprised me. Like Sturm, the weather was one of them.

We have what I’d consider three seasons here, which is more than I expected. I thought it was going to warm and … slightly less warm. I love that my collection of hoodies and vests and other spring/fall-related clothes didn’t get left in boxes at my mom’s house in Western Pennsylvania. I love that there was snow on the mountains behind the foothills on March 30, even if there has been a lot of rain in 2023.

The other thing I got wrong was the food. My expectations were, let’s call it measured, after living in Manhattan for most of the past 10 years. I knew about the spaghetti at OJ’s and the burritos at La Vic’s, but there is so much great food here, and so many people, a lot of whom I’ve never met, have helped me discover it.

So when I had to think of an idea for a “What I Got Wrong” story, I remembered that chat with Sturm. And I thought, what if I ask a bunch of Sharks what they got wrong about living here?

Some of the answers are similar. Some are not. Marc-Edouard Vlasic wins the award for making me laugh the hardest with his very unexpected response.

What did you know about San Jose before moving here?

Erik Karlsson: I came here at least a few times. I didn’t know much. I knew Santana Row, and the area around it. I knew Napa was close, and San Francisco.

Logan Couture: I didn’t know where it was. I thought it was near Mexico. We didn’t learn a lot of American geography. I started watching more Sharks games on the bus in Ottawa when Jamie McGinn got drafted, but I never looked it up on a map. That obviously feels dumb now looking back at it, but I was 18.

Marc-Edouard Vlasic: Nothing.

Noah Gregor: Nothing. The Sharks – that’s about it.

Kevin Labanc: I knew absolutely nothing. I thought it was going to be a beach town, like San Diego.

Mario Ferarro: Nothing.

Matt Benning: I thought we were in a drought? That’s about it.

Nico Sturm: What did I know about San Jose? The tech bubble. That’s about it.

Oskar Lindblom: I knew about Santana Row, but that was pretty much it. And the weather was always nice.

Steven Lorentz: I wasn’t a huge California expert, but beaches and palm trees and warm weather. Also, with San Jose, I just knew it was Silicon Valley.

Kaapo Kahkonen (He rattled off a bunch of places. Kahkonen clearly did more homework than his teammates): I grew up in Europe and when I was younger, my goal was to play over here. I’m not saying I did research on every NHL city, but I did learn about California, the Midwest, the East Coast.

Jacob MacDonald: Just that it is ridiculously expensive. That was one of the first thoughts I had. Then a couple of the guys talked about how nice the weather is. Somebody the first couple of days I was here was complaining about how cold it was. I was like, “It just snowed eight inches at my place in Colorado. I think we’re doing OK here.”

Radim Simek: I knew Tommy Hertl. Other than that, nothing. I knew it was in California. It was pretty crazy. I started talking to them in like January or February and I signed my contract in May. I was just trying to learn English. I didn’t have time to learn about (the city).

What did you get wrong, or what surprised you after living here?

Karlsson: How beautiful it is. I think the nature is pretty hard to beat anywhere you go, or at least anywhere I’ve been that’s not a tropical island. I just like the mountains the greenery and the ocean. You get a lot of different things that you don’t in most other places in the U.S.

Couture: Around the time I got drafted, they had the San Jose Stealth lacrosse team, and my dad reffed some games here. And I came out for some camps, so we talked about the weather first off, just that it was incredible. It was such a different day-to-day life than I was used to. The people are different, the food is different, the culture is a bit different, although Ontario is very multicultural now. There are a lot of good places to eat. I’ve learned over 14 years that you can get every type of food in a lot of good restaurants. And the people are extremely nice. At first, I thought it was going to be different than Canada, but people are really nice here as well.

Vlasic: I didn’t know you had to pay for your water. That surprised me. You pay for the water and it’s crap.

Wait … so you didn’t pay for water in Quebec?

No. We have huge dams up north, and the water is fantastic. You can drink it right out of the faucet. It doesn’t rot your pipes. At one point, I was like why are all my silver kitchen faucets corroded? There’s so much corrosion. But I have to pay for it? And I can’t drink it? There’s a lot of calcium in it. That shocked me. But the weather is very nice. And the people are very nice. It’s very dog-friendly here, and I really enjoy that. Quebec is (dog friendly) but not as much as here. I can bring my dogs anywhere here.

Gregor: I know it hasn’t been as good this year because of the way we’ve been playing, but the fans are unbelievable. I never really expected a California team to have fans show up and support us like they do here. I know a lot of my buddies from around the league always say when they come into the Shark Tank and it’s bumpin’ it’s one of the best arenas in the league to play in.

Labanc: I remember asking one of the guys here, like what should I pack? Should I just bring shorts, or will I need long sleeves and sweaters? I thought it was just going to be 70, 80, 90 degrees all year round but you get here and find out that the winters are colder. It can get pretty chilly. You can see snow on top of the mountains. There’s so much to do around here, and it’s nice to be in a community where people are so involved. It’s not like one big town, it’s a bunch of little towns spread across the area.

Ferraro: The immediate thing was California, so I was like warm weather always, beaches everywhere and celebrities like Hollywood. But then I realized that California is very big. The weather does get cold, and the beaches aren’t out your front door, and Hollywood is a five-hour drive. But, the weather is still phenomenal and way better than anything I dealt with in Toronto, there are still beaches and I don’t mind commuting to them. The nature, the views, the mountains, there are a lot of great things. So it exceeded my expectations in the end, but when I first came here for a camp and was staying in a hotel in downtown San Jose, it wasn’t quite what I expected. Now that I’ve lived here for three years, I know I like it a lot.

Benning: I didn’t have a lot of expectations. Everywhere you go is different. Coming from Tennessee, I guess I thought the Cali lifestyle is pretty laid back, but in reality people are always going here, working hard. Maybe at the beach, people are just chilling out, but from what I’ve seen people work a lot here and they work hard.

Sturm: The weather has not been what I expected. I thought it would be a little warmer throughout the winter, though all the guys have said this was not the usual. So the weather, and how multicultural it is. It’s really a melting pot. I guess that’s because of the location, right? And the tech industry. It’s really an interesting mix of people, so that has been interesting. That wasn’t something I realized before coming here.

Lindblom: It didn’t really surprise me, but I have a dog and we go on a lot of walks, and there’s just a lot of beautiful nature around here. A lot of new places to see. The longer I’m here, the more I like it.

Sturm: There are a lot of different backgrounds here. It’s been interesting to learn about all the diversity here. It’s just a really cool community. I was definitely wrong about all the sunshine. It’s been freakin’ raining like, all the time and a little chilly, but otherwise, it’s been great.

Kahkonen: The guys have said that it has been raining way more than normal this year. That’s the only thing I’ve really been surprised about.

MacDonald: I was right about it being so expensive, but it’s just such a nice place to live. It’s sunny all the time. That’s one of the things I loved about Colorado too was all the sunshine. Everything here is really close. That’s one thing I didn’t expect. Depending on where you live, either rink is like 5-10 minutes away. Colorado was the opposite — everything was super spread out.

Simek: I’m not a big fan of big towns or shopping areas. But I was surprised by the people. They are so friendly here. It is much different than in the Czech Republic. Also when you order things, they come so quick here.

Do you have a favorite place after settling in that you didn’t know about before moving here?

Karlsson: I live in Los Gatos now, so I’d say that. It’s close to the beach and to the mountains. It’s easy to get anywhere from there. I was surprised there was a neighborhood like that. Well, there are numerous neighborhoods like that here.

Vlasic: Tahoe. I like to go on the Nevada side. It’s a little quieter.

Gregor: Carmel for sure is my favorite place. I hadn’t heard of it at all and I’ve been there about three times in the past year alone. I just love the small, kind of European vibe to it. You’re right on the beach. It’s my favorite spot in the area.

Labanc: Napa. It’s just … I love going up there. Lake Tahoe, like if we want to get some snow around Christmas time, we head up to the mountains. And definitely Carmel-By-The-Sea. That’s a beautiful spot. That definitely wowed me the first time.

Ferarro: I think it’s the 17-mile drive, Pebble Beach, Carmel. That whole area is sick. Santa Cruz isn’t my go-to but it’s still really nice. I also really like Campbell and Los Gatos. Even downtown, I don’t hang out there a lot, but there are a couple nice museums I’ve been to.

Sturm: I don’t know if it’s a hangout spot per se, but my girlfriend and I really like Boba Guys on Santana Row. It’s funny, because we’re both coffee drinkers, so we’d go to Starbucks every day in Minnesota, and I was spending $15, $16 every day. So we got this really nice Swiss coffee machine from Europe. Now I haven’t been to Starbucks all year because of this coffee machine … but now I spend $15 at Boba Guys instead.

Lindblom: I drove down to Santa Cruz, and that was really beautiful. It was fun watching the surfers in the water. Back home, we don’t really have that. Half Moon Bay was really nice too, and all the wineries around. It’s different from what I’m used to.

Kahkonen: There are a lot of opportunities for hiking or walking on the beach. The one really cool thing we did was the 17-mile drive and saw Pebble Beach, Carmel. We went for lunch at the golf club there. I don’t really golf, but that was pretty cool. So I guess I’ve been surprised by just how many things like that there are to see here. I’m also a big wine guy, and there is a lot of that around. I read somewhere that all this snow is going to be good for the vineyards, so maybe there will be some really good vintages in a few years.

Some more Nico lore from Corey Masisak's Sharks coverage:

The only thing he knew about San Jose before moving there was the tech industry

After moving to SJ he was surprised by the weather & the level of multiculturalism. He also mentions the tech industry has "an interesting mix of people" lmao

He & his partner used to spend $15 for coffee at Starbucks in Minnesota but after they bought a home coffee machine they stopped going to Starbucks & spend $15 at Boba Guys instead

From this article: www . nytimes . com/athletic/4367590/2023/03/31/sharks-san-jose-living/ (the other players' answers are also pretty interesting/funny - peep Vlasic complaining about having to pay for water vs. in Quebec)

BOBA GUYS????? BOBA GUYS FROM MY FANFIC?????

My favorite thing about this article is how they continuously doxx themselves. My second favorite part is how they all sound so scared by how friendly Californian are. Sorry Sharkies it is in our culture to be nice and not haters!

You know I did read this article way back when it was published and the ONLY thing I internalized was Pickles complaining about the water. Because he is RIGHT. The water in San Jose SUCKS. It's undrinkable!! It tastes so bad!! I wrecked more than Britta container bc of the calcium deposits. I had to throw out a tea pot at one point. And it's like why am I paying for something that is destroying every part of my bathtub. HE IS RIGHT TO COMPLAIN

thank you anon I forgot about this article and it's a delight!!

[fooxywooxy]

greetings dsaf fandom

[anon-of-the-void]

Alrighty, meet Bob:

After the little intro

Leo, we were in Hawaii, HAWAII. Why would you want to make snow angels in the mountains when we had beach and sun and the ocean right in front of us?!

I COULD HAVE SWORN IT WOULD WORK THIS TIME

Well it didn't.

Whatever Leo will do to fix it, can we- like- get outta the cold first?

Yeah, April is right, I'm freezing!

Yeah gimme a sec- HACHIMACHI-

NONONO LEO STOP

First we go some place warm, then you try to get us back to Hawaii.

Where even are we?

I have no clue.

You hear that?

Hear what-?

What the heck is going on up here- WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

Well? Who are you?

'Nardo, I don't think we are in a position to demand answers...

You are on o u r r o o f.

Yeah ok you might be right, Don Why hello my fellow muta- nnffdndndsi

What my brother is trying to sayis, he is sorry he portalled us on your roof.

Yeah, we really are sorry-

-but can we please go some place warmer?!

Eh, yeah, sure... I guess. Follow me.

-----

Welcome to our humble log cabin. I am X and my friend Bob over there will prep some hot chocolates for you all. Ain't that right buddy?

Thank you so so much!

Already got the cattle steamin', X. Hi there!

Oh, hi!

And who are you?

Oh, right. I'm Lux but my friends call me Bob.

She is a bobcat/lynx mutant. The Mad Dogz meet them when Leo decides to portal them from their vacation destination yet again. His intended destination was a nicer beach setting like Bora Bora. Unfortunately for him, they landed right on top of the roof of a cozy log cabin in the Alpines where Lux (aka Bob) and their friends live.

She is a tech savy mutant sporting the color purple and the brothers instantly warms up to the group. Although, Donnie is having a hard time seeing his brothers enjoy the company of a brilliant, purple- wearing mutant with a charming personality, funny jokes and a soft fluffy huggable frame.

They wouldn't replace him, though. Right? I mean, he was their genius brother sporting everything purple. But- why do they stick so close to Lux? It's probably the cold. Geez, can they stop touching their huge soft-looking paws?! She does not seem to mind it though... Actually, she is very affectionate. Why is she entertaining Leo's terrible puns? They are so lame! Why is she welcoming Raph's rambling about his stuffed animals? He always zones out listening to anything he has to say! Why is she patting Mikey's head? B-but that's my thing...

They wouldn't replace him. They couldn't. But then again, Lux were giving his brothers the affection he could never quite give them on his own accord.

Maybe, just maybe, they should...

Bonus:

Hey Dee, wanna steal sensitive highly confident tech from some important-looking presidential figure?

Ohooo absolutely I want!

Imma get the distraction missles ready!

You have missles?!

Wanna launch them?

*•°~Yes pls~°•*

Oh shit

Oh no

We need to stop them

This instant

But the fire works :(

OC CHALLENGE

Take a unique piece of clothing/accessorie or whatever you come across on the lovely Internet and create an original character wearing/using it.

Extra Cookies can be collected for putting said OC in an alternative Universe and/or fandom, completed with backstory

Go crazy and PLEASE TAG ME I WANNA SEE IT!

Anyway, this ist what I'm gonna work with:

[lucieinpink]

Just here me out, this is without a doubt muggleborns at hogwarts

Slughorn: so, this potion requires the use of spider’s fangs, can somebody tell me why?

Student 1: ain’t nothing but a heartache

Slughorn and purebloods confused

Student 2: tell me whyyYy

Student 3: ain’t nothing but a mistake

Student 1: tell mE wHyyY

Student 2: I never wanna hear you sAyY

All: I want it thAt wAyyY

Slughorn and purebloods even more confused

All muggleborn singing in harmony

[blackacre13]

Can you do a part 2 to the rival gangs au?

Part one (Debbie POV) is here; here’s part two (Lou POV)

“How about this? We pick a job. We both go for it. Best con wins. You pull this off, you’ll never see me again. Or you do. Your choice. But I won’t bother you again. I pull this off? You date me.”

“You mean work with you,” Debbie stuttered.

“Is that what I said?” Lou winked.

“You’re not as charming as you think you are,” the brunette huffed.

“You’re right,” lou nodded. “I’m even more suave than I give myself credit for.”

“That’s not what—“

“The choice is yours, Debbie Ocean,” she grinned, slipping her sunglasses back on as she threw a stack of cash on the table. “But we both know you can’t say no to a challenge. Especially one that could definitely end in hot, mind blowing sex.”

“How’d it go boss?”

The young woman in the beanie threw a carton of cigarettes at the blonde as she caught it between two fingers, taking one out of its place and positioning it between her lips before tossing a single cigarette back, the girl wrinkling her face at it, unsure as she examined it before popping it in her mouth the way a child would suck on a free lollipop from the bank.

Lou shook her head as she chuckled, taking her lucky lighter out of her blazer pocket to light the cigarette. Silence spilled between them aside from the busy street and honking of horns as she took a long drag before answering, offering out the lighter as the other woman shook her head, rolling the cigarette between her fingers now as a fidget toy instead.

“She’s toast,” Lou smirked, slamming her boot back against the wall as she melted against the brick, breathing in the city air. “She’s not used to people being able to read her. That’s for sure. And she definitely didn’t like that I could. Well, professionally at least. In other areas…”

“You got the hots for the enemy?”

“Constance,” Lou sighed, before cracking a grin. “She’s alright,” the blonde lied.

“You’re in love,” Constance grinned. “This is some Romeo and Juliet shit.”

“Please,” the blonde snorted. “Neither of us is that stupid. Nobody’s dying or faking their death. I��m just claiming what’s mine.”

“Debbie Ocean?” Constance asked, her eyes wide.

“New York,” Lou rolled her eyes, stepping away from the wall as she silently motioned for Constance to follow her around the corner. “But you know how I love mixing business with pleasure.”

“Dad, gross.”

“Thanks to Nine, I know way more about Debbie than she does about us. She’s been running cons with the same contacts for years. Dad’s in the game. Brother’s in the game.”

“Mr. Fancy suits Bellagio is her brother?” Constance howled. “Oh man, this is dope.”

“Yeah and that prick with the NSYNC frosted tips is his partner.”

“That Moldy guy?”

“Rusty,” Lou scoffed. “Not that that’s any better. But she’s pissed. She knows we ran Danny out of Vegas. And I’m sure he told her not to bother and to back off. But she’s more stubborn than I am so I expect a fight from her and I’d be a fool to underestimate her. She’s smart, Con. Bloody smart. She could be good for us.”

“Trust,” Constance laughed. “She’s not gonna wanna fall into line as one of your soldiers. Not like some of us who are actually cool,” she winked. “And you don’t look ready to take a backseat or retire.”

“Who knows,” Lou shrugged, kicking at the sidewalk. “Could be nice. Drive up the coast. Back to picking pockets and crashing at cheap motels. Drive out to the beach. Just run the occasional job when they need me. Maybe open a bar.”

Constance stopped them, tugging on Lou’s belt loop as the blonde stopped in her tracks, raising a brow at her.

“Hello? Dad? Did you hit your head? Didn’t you just move here a few months ago because fuck the beach and those Aussie twats, I’m taking over the states and no one’s getting in my way? Where’d that Lou go? Dude. How bad is this crush?”

“Can it,” Lou huffed, but she cracked a grin. “Come on. Nine should be a block away. We’ll talk strategy. I’m not going anywhere, kid. I’m just saying, maybe it would be nice to have a mom for this crew too. You know?”

“Are you sure you didn’t get concussed back there?”

[sarroora]

If Panchito and Jose confesses to Donald that they love him (love him more than a friend I mean) in front of his entire family, how do you think they'll all react especially Donald and Scrooge?

I had to bring this back

[toadallytickles]

I just wanna sayy that I really enjoy seeing your posts🙈😳 Thank you for being a part of this community, we need to cut out the toxicity and keep the kind people like you in it!😁

Aww, this is so sweet of you to share with me! Thank you so so much for this! 🥰💕

My blog will be 6 years old at the end of the month~🧓🏼. Unfortunately this community can get really toxic, though I agree- there are great community members here that keep it a fun place, and I likely would’ve never met Clay if it weren’t for the Tumblr community! Thank you for being a part of the community and spreading love! :)

[pennie-umbra]

First day

Hey! I can’t believe I was actually able to write this, but I’m so glad I did! This is (probably just) a oneshot based on this Parent AU created by @remuscore, because we all know I just had to write about Remus being a parent.

Sorry for any mistakes, hope you enjoy it!

Summary: It’s Roman’s first day of preschool or dealing with enough kids to fill a classroom for that matter and he has never been more excited. His father, Remus, on the other hand, can’t stop himself from worrying that, just as he did as a child, Roman will have difficulty adapting to the new environment. 

Characters: Remus Sanders; Roman Sanders; Patton Sanders

Warning: Swearing, one mention to eating a bug, food and first day of school as a main theme.

Word count: 2259

It was midnight. Remus finally threw himself on the bed and closed his eyes. After one minute, the daylight broke through the windows, hurting just as much as the screamings of a child. 

“Dad! Dad, wake up! Wake uuup!”

“Wh… Roman, it’s…” He squinted at the cellphone, his vision still getting used to all that light and brightness “...It’s time to wake up” He sighed heavily, letting the phone fall from his hands. The last day finished, like, seven hours ago, why did he already have to deal with another day?! 

“Yeah, that’s what I sayied”

“Said” he corrected, closing his eyes again hoping that, somehow, a few more seconds would be enough for him to be ready to be a functional human being. It didn’t work, but he had to at least pretend to not be dead inside anyway “What do you wanna eat?”

“Breakfast soup!” Roman opened his arms and a smile from ear to ear. Very adorable, his father thought. Would be way more adorable if you didn’t scream at seven in the fucking morning. 

“I think the cereal is over, buddy” he sat with effort, his entire body feeling like it had been hit by a train “We ate it all… yesterday. I guess. But we have… hmm… Something. Probably” 

“Dad looks scary”

“I know”

“Really really scary. Like a zombie. Or, or, a witch! Or Dragon. Dragon witch!” Remus smiled tirely. His son’s excitement was almost contagious. Almost. 

“Thanks for the regards” he mumbled, getting on his feet and grabbing Roman, who was busy jumping up and down on the bed and making it even messier than it was before.

There were the remains of an egg bowl and an out of date ketchup in the fridge. And that's it. Remus did his best to keep the curses that came to his mind, well, in his mind. 

“There must be something in the pantry” There was. One packet of cookies. “Eggs, cookies or both?"

“Cookies!” Roman exclaimed. 

“Cool, but I’m gonna make the eggs  cause you’ll need energy for your first day of school. 

“Cookies give energy!” Roman pouted, crossing his arms. Remus ignored him, grabbing the eggs and then turning to the kid, frowning.

“Hey, when was the last time I gave you a shower?” If Roman was a little older he would have replied "you’re asking me that?!” but when you are three, you don’t really understand why it matters how frequent your showers are. 

“‘Lastday’?” he asked more than anything, after stopping to think a little. Remus sighed again”.

“Yesterday, ok, go…” would it be too irresponsible to ask his son to shower by himself? “You know what, the eggs can wait, let’s take a shower and then find your clothing and your backpack and…” Jesus fucking Christ we’ll never be there on time.

“Kay!” There wasn’t anything that would bother Roman. Not now that the possibility to go to school and make friends and be cool was so close. 

The shower was fast and messy. Roman got really close to falling, like, three times and their neighbors probably weren’t happy with all the drama he made when Remus tried to dry his hair. 

“You act like I’m trying to rip off your head, not just dry your damn hair!” 

“I want Patton! Patton not mean! Dad mean!”

“Patton is also not here and it’s over. See? You’re alive” Roman showed Remus his tongue, grabbing his towel in a dramatic outing and going to his room.

Remus always believed in self expression. Even when you are a child. That's why he let his son choose an old glitter t-shirt, beach shorts, a red cape and spongebob shoes to go to school. Which can be either a questionable or great parenting method. I’ll let you decide. 

“You look neat!” His father complimented when Roman sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for his breakfast. 

“Dad is lying!

“I never lie”

“All grown-ups lie” Remus looked down at the eggs in front of him. Yeah, I guess he’s right, thought to himself, I can’t afford to be honest all the time if I want to be good at adulting. Or, as he liked to say, adultery. 

“Ok, but I’m not lying now. You do look good” he gave his son a thumbs up, sitting down and putting the eggs in front of them.

“I want cookies!” Roman complained, refusing to eat. 

“You can take the cookies to school, how ‘bout that?” 

“The whole packet?” the child asked, half-closing his eyes with suspicion. Remus smiled lightly.

“The whole packet”

“Cool!” the oldest checked the time. The family had five minutes before their ride got there. 

“So. I guess I should give you, like, a school talk” 

“Not really.” Roman said after swallowing. 

“Hum. Okay. First, don’t worry about not making friends, I know all of this is new, but I’m sure that you’ll be fine”.

“I’m not worried” Oh excuse me Mister.I’m-a-Fucking-Extrovert. 

“Oh. Good. Yeah. But also, like… don’t be so sure. Like… if not everything goes as planned or if you don’t make that many friends, y’know-”

“I’m gonna make friends, I’m not weird like dad” Roman interrupted. Remus tried to not seem as offended as he was. Turns out being called “weird” is harder when it’s your own son. 

“Cool, cool. But I also feel that we should establish some rules, I guess?

“Estab what? 

“Create some rules and follow them”

“I’m great at following rules!” he exclaimed. It could have come as sarcasm if he wasn’t too young for that. 

“Ok. First: no nicknames. Call people their actual name for the love of god”

“But what if their names are boring?”

“Especially if their names are boring.” Roman seemed almost offended, but nodded reluctantly.

“Two: y’know the bad words I say sometimes? Don’t say any of those. Ever” he could only imagine the headache it would be trying to deal with a teacher after his son told a kid to go fuck themself. 

“Ever?!”

“Ok, not ever, but not until you are ten, let’s say”

“How long is it?

“Not that long. And finally. Don’t get into any fight. Please. 

“I won’t! Unless someone is mean to me, right?

“No. Not even if someone is mean to you. At least not for now” Roman tilted his head.

“But you always say that” He changed his posture and tried to imitate Remus’ voice. “When people are bad, you gotta be bad back”

“I said this, like, once and… It was different. If something goes wrong at school, we may have to pull up with some sh- things I don’t know if I can deal with”

“Like what?” Remus was spared from having to answer that and make his worst fear even more real as a horn echoed from the street. Roman immediately got up, running to the door and screaming: “Patton! Patton is here!” Remus opened a relieved smile for a lot of reasons, letting the closest he had to a father get in.

“Hey Kiddo, it’s so good to see you!” Patton said to both of them, hugging Roman and them the twenty years old man.

“Sup” Remus simply mumbled, too prideful to let the guest see how grateful he was for the possibility of a break. “You guys have fun here, I have to find this little brat’s backpack…"

“Hey! Dad ‘have be’ mean to me the whooole morning! Tell him to be nice!" Roman commanded. 

“Your dad is just a little tired, sweet, I’m sure he means no harm. Oh, I really like your cape! Where did you buy it?

“I made it myself! And dad helped a little, I guess”

“And by a little he means I did most of the work and he put those stars at the bottom” Remus replied, coming back with his son’s backpack.

“Oh, you two did very well! So, is everything alright?” He took a look around, putting his hands on his waist.

“Yeah, I hope” Remus answered, not really sure of it himself.

“Well, I’ll have to trust your word, kiddo, cause we’re kinda late. So, let’s get going! 

Patton probably had some deal with the devil. That’s the only way he would be able to handle a whole trip with Roman - And Remus too, who knew himself to also not be easy to deal - and still keep it cool. 

“Here we are” said as the small building got in their gaze, full of kids and screaming and social interactions and oh god, Remus was so glad he never even considered to be a teacher. Roman didn’t even think twice, already opening his door and starting to run toward the school.

“Fuck! Hey wow, stop right there!” Remus immediately followed, the panic growing in his chest and dispeling the tiredness for a moment. He grabbed his son by the arm, trying to at the same time be careful and resolute “You can’t just go running like that! Some car could have… Oh god”

“I’m fine!”

“I know. I just. Do you want me to be there?” Why is school always so fucking scary? Even when you are an adult, apparently, from how all those gazes felt on his skin “Or maybe if you want, Patton can go with you…”

“Dad can go with me there!” He then grabbed Remus' hand and proceeded to push his father with all his determination, guiding them both through the school even if he had no idea where his class was. But they figured it out after a couple minutes. 

“I guess it’s here, isn’t it?” Remus asked more to himself than anything. His son nodded. 

“Don’t be sad, dad. I promise I will make a ton of friends and be cool and popular” He opened his arms to give emphasis to his words. The oldest smiled. 

“I’m sure you will, buddy. But also, if you need anything, I’ll be there, so… 

“You’ll? But isn’t it just for the kids?

“Yeah, but you still need some adaptation period and I have to stay while this.

“I don’t need ada- adap- this thing! I’m so totally fine!”

“We don’t really have a word in that, buddy. Now, where is your teacher…?” He looked around, but it didn’t take the man a lot of effort, since a smiley woman wearing the school uniform was already coming in their direction.

“Oh, you must be Roman Prince, right? Nice to meet you!” she leaned down to the child’s height, still keeping that smile on her face. 

“Nice to meet you too” He exclaimed back. Remus was relieved he remembered the cumpriment. 

“Why don’t you go meet your new friends? We have hot dogs!

“I love hot dog!” He runned toward the food without second thoughts, leaving Remus and the nice normal lady alone. He tried to smile too, but it probably didn’t look as genuine considering all his nervousness. 

“And I guess you must be... “ She analysed the young adult from his multiply pierced ears to his ripped pants and worn boots. “Roman’s brother?” That would be easier, wouldn't it?

“No, I’m…” He held out his hand to greet her. “His dad. Remus Prince, nice to meet you”

“Oh” She didn’t accept his hand. 

“Yeah”

“Can I talk to his mom?”

“Of course! When I find her I’ll let you know” She flinched. Fuck, wrong time, wrong joke. “Yeah, if Roman needs something I’ll be there” he vaguely pointed to a bench, speed walking in it’s direction. 

You know someone is awkward when they still have problems dealing with school even after they already finished it. He sat there, trying not to see so… what? Irresponsible, scary, wrong, useless. The last one would definitely have been easier if Roman wasn’t such a natural. He made friends before his father could say ‘“fucking extrovert”, participated in all the games, just cried once. Remus was proud, but also kinda jealous. By what his parents told him, his first day basically consisted in him eating a bug and being excluded for the whole year after that. What I great fucking way to start things. 

But if Roman was so much better, I guess it meant he did a better job than his parents. Not like being better than those assholes was that hard tho. 

As the morning went over, Roman got back, his face red and sweaty from all that playing. On the moment Remus saw that ear to ear grin, he knew it was worth it and couldn’t stop himself from smiling too.

“How was it?” asked just so his son could talk, which he loved too, it clearly went well. He was there after all.

“It was so cool! I made friends and we played and teacher is nice and we ‘eated’ pizza and hot dogs and watched a movie!”

“I’m glad! So… We want to come tomorrow too?” Roman violently nodded, jumping up and down.

“Yes, yes!

“Neat. How ‘bout we grab some ice cream on our way? We sure do need some food” I know, I know, ice cream is not really food, but give him a break. Also, Roman managed to seem even happier.

“Ice creaaam!” He yelled. Remus smiled again, feeling that warm feeling in his chest that was familiar at that moment. Love. It was hard, of course, sometimes he felt like he couldn’t make it, like he was just not born for the job and would eventually just screw everything. But he was trying, which was better than he could say for Roman’s “mother” or his own parents, so maybe he could convince himself that trying was enough. 

[word-scribbless]

Smile Again Part 8

Okay so a soccer mom tries to get in the way here and things get a little steamy but not crazy! This chapter is a bit of a lead up.

Masterlist | smile again Masterlist

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Y/N and Hotch were jogging through the park that wednesday morning when Y/N puffed out a laugh,

“Come on Hotchner you can go your normal pace, I can keep up.” She joked.

She had woken up bright and early, put on her cutest work out clothes, which took a while to find. She drove to Aaron’s house and they drove together to the closest park, laughing and joking happily as they did. Now they were enjoying their jog together before their hectic days began.

“You said you didn’t like running so I thought-“ he said before Y/N cut him off.

“I said you needed to distract me, not go easy on me.” She laughed

“Fine how’s this for distracting you?” He asked as he stopped and pulled her in for a kiss.

“Mmm, that’ll work just fine.” Y/N said as she pulled away.

“Come on Hotch-shot, keep up.” Y/N said taking off causing Hotch to laugh and start after her.

As they ran Y/N let herself enjoy the way it felt to be so close to Aaron. She loved getting to spend time with him and Jack, he also loved the fact that they were starting to spend time alone as well. She couldn’t deny how attractive he looked in his work out gear. She could see his muscles flex and glisten as he ran next to her. Whenever they stopped to take a break, it took everything she had not to jump him right there. She loved kissing him but she couldn’t deny she wanted more, she had to shake that idea. He hadn’t even asked her on a date yet. She couldn’t risk rushing and ruining what she had with him. She couldn’t let her attraction for him win out over her feelings. She was scared to get too involved and he was doing everything he could to show her that she didn’t need to be scared with him. She had to trust him and knew that waiting would be worth it with him, especially if he could make her feel this way just from jogging next to him.

Meanwhile Aaron was having some pretty similar thoughts about the beautiful woman jogging with him. He was not going to rush her in anyway. He would make due with just holding hands if he had to earn her trust. He felt lucky enough just to get to kiss her. He’d let her set the pace forever as long as she was next to him.

As their run came to an end, they began to slow to a fast paced walk to cool down. They started chatting about Jack and work, anything that came to mind. Just as they reached the car they heard Aaron’s name being called behind them. They turned around to see Margret James jogging up behind them in a little track suit. ‘Oh great’ Y/N thought ‘more flirting’.

“Hey Aaron it’s so nice to see you” Margret said putting her hand on his arm and blocking Y/N out of the conversation with her body.

“Hey Margret how are you?”

“Great now that I’ve seen you.”

“Y/N you remember Liam’s mom?” Aaron said as he moved to her side. She watched as Margret got frustrated and turned toward her reluctantly.

“Yeah I do it’s nice to see you.”

“You too” the other woman said rudely as she turned back to Aaron.

“We should head out, get ready for work. We’ll see you around Margret.” Aaron quickly said as he moved to take Y/N by the hand and pull her away. Y/N but back a smile at the sour face Margret made as Aaron referred to the two of them as ‘we’ again.

“Bye” Y/N smiled as politely as she could muster.

“Mm bye” Margret grumbled.

“Now I get why she doesn’t like me” Y/ N said quietly as they approached.

“What?” Hotch asked stopping in front of the passenger side door.

“She’s into you Aaron.” Y/N scoffed lightly fidgeting with her hair.

“I don’t think so.”

“You’re a profiler and you don’t see she’s interested “ she said laughing. Aaron could hear the amusement she was trying to convey in her voice, but knew her well enough to also see her walls going back up as she thought about the other woman.

“I guess but I’ve been hoping I was wrong.” He admitted.

“Nope she likes you.” Y/N said as she pulled her now loose hair back again.

“Well she’s gonna have to get over it” he smirked and moved closer to her, hands landing on her waist.

“Why?” She said shyly, hands falling half heartedly on his shoulders as he pulled her slightly toward him. He hated seeing her lose confidence again.

“You have to ask?” He ducked to catch her eyes with his.

“I’m sure she’s less complicated than me.” She practically whispered and Aaron’s heart broke.

“Hey don’t do that.”

Y/N looked down and started to shrink into herself the way she did when Aaron had first met her.

“We’ve been doing so good, don’t start telling me you aren’t good enough again. Please Y/N.” He moved his hand to cup her face. She looked up at him with watery eyes.

“Aaron-“ she started

“Y/N no.” He cut her off, voice soft but commanding. He refused to hear her question herself again. “You know how I feel about you, nothing has changed that and nothing will. Not Margret, not anyone. You are good enough! More than good enough and I’ll spend every day proving that to you if that’s what it takes.” He moved closer and cupped her cheeks in both hands. “but please don’t pull away again.” He breathes out and she heard the worry in his voice.

At his sweet words, the tears she was holding back escaped and Aaron quickly wiped them away with his thumbs.

“Hey don’t cry. I-“

She cut him off by capturing his lips with hers. The kiss was sweet, but she poured everything she had into it. And he matched her movements perfectly.

“What was that for?” He panted as they pulled apart.

“To prove I’m not pulling away, as much as my anxiety is screaming to run. I’m not going to, because you’re worth it. You and jack, you’re worth fighting for Aaron.” She smiled up at him.

“Mmm I’ll kiss to that again!“

He said pulling her back for another kiss. This one was more sweet than intense, but still made her heart rate triple.

“You know I think your kiss served two purposes.” He whispered against her lips.

“What?”

“I think she gets the picture now.” He nodded behind her to see Margret scowling at them and stomping away.

“Oh no! That’s gonna be awkward.” Y/N said as she buried her face in his chest.

“Why?” He chuckled

“I mean I’m glad she got the picture , but I’m gonna see her at jacks events. She’s gonna be all weird.” She looked back to Aaron to see him with a goofy smile.

“What?” She asked

“I like how much you wanna be around.” He admitted softly.

“As much as you’ll let me.” She gave him one of those smiles that made his heart swell.

“So always?” He said before kissing her cheek.

“Mhm.” She nodded before reminding him he needed to head to work.

The Friday night after their run together Y/N was cuddled up on the couch with Jack and Aaron again. This time Y/N was curled into Aaron’s side with jack on their laps. Aaron’s thumb rubbed up and down her side, her head rested on his shoulder and sweet Jack was tucked under a blanket sitting part way between Aaron’s and Y/N’s laps leaning back between them. Looking in from the outside a stranger would think they were a family. Y/N couldn’t deny that she loved the feeling of having both her boys curled up with her, she wished she spent every night like this. She shook that idea from her head, the two of them hadn’t even been on an official date yet and she was planning forever.

Little did Y/N know that Aaron was having the same thoughts as he sat watching Moana with the woman he was in love with and his son who loved her just as much. He wanted to make her theirs but knew he had to take it slow, he would never forgive himself if he pushed her away by moving too fast. He was just going to enjoy his time with her as it was for now.

As the movie came to an end Y/N snuggled into Jack and Arron and said

“ohhhh I don’t wanna get up I’m so cozy, why don’t we just see whats on tv for a little bit.”

“That sounds like a good idea to me” Aaron said as he switched over to the tv.

“me too” Jack said snuggling deeper into the adults arms.

they spent the next half hour curled up into each other laughing and being silly while watching tv. when it was time for Jack to go get ready for bed he turned to Y/N before getting up and said

“hey Y/N/N?”

“yeah bud?” she answered, turning to him with a smile

“I’m glad you hang out with us.”

“Me too sweet boy” she said as she placed a kiss to his head.

“Daddy likes that you hang out with us too, he told me so.” He said before climbing off their laps, kissing Y/N good night and running to get his PJs on.

Aaron smiled shyly. he knew his son never meant to be a little match maker, but he always succeeded.

Y/N’s smiled as he got up to go tuck Jack in made the nervous pit in his stomach ease up a bit. He knew they’d talk about what Jack said when he got back, but he had a feeling Y/N already knew how much he enjoyed his time with her.

About 15 minutes later (movie night always made Jack super sleepy and quick to nod off from staying up later than usual) Aaron came back into the room and sat down, wrapping his arm around Y/N’s shoulders.

“sooo, You talk to your son about me?” she said with a teasing smile. She secretly loved the part Jack played in their relationship. He was always so good at bringing up topics she was too chicken to bring up on her own.

“I do.” Aaron said with a smirk as he took her hand. “He told me before I even really knew you that I should ask you on a date” He added.

“Oh yeah?” Y/N said snuggling closer, as Aaron nodded his answer.

“You gonna take his advise?” she dared to ask. She loved how confident and forward she could be with him, and He loved it as well.

“I am” He answered matter of factly.

“When?”

“You call the shots remember?” He whispered as he leaned in to kiss her forehead.

If it was up to him he would have asked her out weeks ago, but he wanted her to be comfortable. He was pretty sure she wouldn’t turn a date down, however he couldn’t risk it.

“Mhm and I can say no if I want... but I can’t say yes unless you ask.” Y/N said softly as she reached up to stroke his face.

“The saying no part is what I’m afraid of.” He whispered, leaning into her touch.

She hated the nervous look on his face and decided she needed to get rid of it. She leaned in, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips before assuring him.

“I won’t say no Aaron.”

He pulled away smiling.

“In that case, will you go on a date with me tomorrow night? We can still go slow, take things one step at a time but I’d like to take you out just you and me.” He said with a smile as he brought a hand up to cup her face.

“I’d really like that.”

“me too.” He said leaning in to kiss her softly. She decided it was time to kick their kissing up a knotch. She knew he would never take it any further than she led, and while she wasn’t quite read to take him to the bed room, she was certainly ready for some making out on the couch.

He had no objections as she pulled him, ton\unge asked for entry his mouth that he gladly granted. She pushed herself up to straddle his lap, his hands fell to her side and he groaned, which made her smirk against his lips.

“Y/N wait”

“too much?” she asked pulling back.

“ no, no, not at all. but i don’t want to push you.”

“You’re not Aaron. I’ll be upfront, id rather wait to go all the way until after at least a date but i am entirely okay with making out and maybe a little more. If you are that is.”

He nodded, dipping his head down to kiss down her neck.

“Oh i defiantly am” he whispered against her skin.

“one condition.”

“hmm?” he hummed looking back into her eyes.

“i’m not made of glass, i will tell you if i want to slow down. You don’t have to be afraid to touch me or to let things happen how they happen okay?” he nodded “ meant it Aaron, I want you. I want all of this as much as you and while it’s been a long time and i know we’re taking things slow, I can assure you I want all of this with you. So don’t be scared.”

“I think I can agree to those terms, if you promise to stop me if i go too far.”

“I promise, same goes for you.”

Aaron chuckled.

“I’m serious Aaron, I know you want this. But just because your the man it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to want to slow down and take a breath. you’ve been through a lot too.”

He pressed his forehead to hers.

“I promise Y/N.”

“okay then, kiss me again,”

that night they engaged in an awful lot of making out on the couch like teenagers before Y/N went home, insisting she couldn’t stay over because she had to prepare for their date. She couldn’t help but feel flush every time the she thought about how Aaron touched and kissed her. If thats home making out with him made her feel, she couldn’t imagine what actually Sleeping with him would be like. Well she did imagine it, often, but she knew her imagination could probably never compare to the real thing.

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