#i never seen someone so incredibly punchable

[myb4llsyourch1n]

I would punch his smug ass face.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Episode 3 Preview (aka Boston's Reign of Madness)

So this week's upcoming instalment is where this train to hot-mess-ville is well and truly about to kick off. Boston is really gunning for first prize in the chaotic red flag olympics for fuckery and shit-stirring. We get a brief but loaded glimpse into the many possible showdowns and throwdowns.

Boston VS Mew (Competition)

In Episode 2, Boston pointedly stares at a photo he took of Mew and Ray. From what we see, he chooses to incriminate his two best friends purely in a bid to drive a wedge between Mew and Top.

I really can't decipher what Boston's end goal is here. Is this purely, 100% egotistical, petty jealousy due to Mew 'one-upping' him for once, when he's usually the person who gets all the action? I don't necessarily think Boston wants a boyfriend in Top, so this is a lot of chaos to cause for very little, especially as Top seems rather indifferent about Boston other than sexually. I think Boston's absolutely right in that he and Top are two peas in a pod - they love being at the 'top' of their game, and they hate being bested. If he thinks this is going to get him exclusivity rights to Top junior, he's insane. He's clearly not bothered that his two best friends may end up as collateral in the process.

Top VS Ray (Rivalry)

This is a classic case of we both hate each other but we're trying to keep it on the downlow for Mew's sake. Ray's jealousy is more valid, because it's partly fuelled by genuine concern around Top's motives. Whereas Top's jealousy feels possessive. The way he interacts with Ray is a clear indication to 'back off, you're stepping on my property'. With Boston's false intel, he's only going to feel more justified to be combative with Ray.

Top also makes a comment about Sand's band which sounded derogatory. Either a snide little dig at Ray (already knowing he invited Sand), or just a plain dig nonetheless. If so, I'd highly welcome Ray to defend his boyfriend's honour. This is an altercation I would truly love to see. I want Ray to go full feral on this man. Because I swear to god Top, if you try to hurt my son, I will yeet you into the goddamn sun. (Force is doing a stellar job of plastering that incredibly punchable smug-ass expression across his face. My hands are itching to smack him one).

Sand & Ray (Friends or Boyfriends?)

The preview is cut to look like Nick finds Ray and Sand kissing in the car. But the shot of Nick is at the hostel. Whereas Ray and Sand are kissing in the garage outside Sand's apartment. It's unlikely anyone is watching them at that location.

Ray drives Sand home after being slighted by Top, and tries to seduce him (and unsurprisingly succeeds). This is also the scene where Sand says "I'll never take someone like you as my boyfriend". (Pretty presumptuous of you to assume Ray would want to take you as a boyfriend, unless he's the one to suggest it? Unlikely). If Ray's proposition breaks his personal rule of "I've never slept with anyone who's not my lover more than once", then in Sand's head he's going to start thinking of them that way, even if he agrees to just 'one more time'. This conversation is potentially where the two really muddy the waters on what on earth this is.

It's also going to get more interesting when someone from the group finds out about their relationship. Worst case scenario would be Boston finding out. Because the last thing we need is for him to have more leverage to pull strings in this tangled web.

Boston & Top (Lust)

Notoriously, we're going to get our two resident red flags committing adultery together. This happens the same night as the pool party. Something happens between Top leading Mew away from Ray, to Top vouching for some rigorous car seat action with Boston. Mew is seen taking a call in the preview, and it wouldn't surprise me if Boston has something to do with this. He sees Top lead Mew away, and potentially intercedes with a ploy.

Can we talk about how Boston is acting all sweet with Nick and kisses him on the cheek (in the same car) earlier in the day and then proceeds to bounce the living daylights out of Top that same night (in the SAME car)?? This boy doesn't give a shit.

Nick VS Top ('The Favourite')

Nick finds the photobooth strip of Boston and Top. Now if I was Nick, this does speak volumes. Boston comes across as very blasé about his sexual partnerships. He takes a lot of photos of other people (including Nick), but from what we've seen, he's always the one behind the camera. Which also maintains this unconscious power dynamic he exerts over most of his lovers. Whereas the photobooth shots feature Boston with someone else. He's not the observer, he's the subject. The fact that he's kept this memento, with the caption 'hot night' means it was so memorable that he held onto it. This is pretty clear proof that no, Nick is not 'his favourite' as he was led to believe. And yes, Nick is slightly naïve to believe that in the first place, but he's seeing through rose-tinted glasses.

Nick's jealousy is tricky, because he's backed himself into a corner by trying to play it cool and going along with being just a 'fuck buddy' and nothing else. He knows he'll risk affronting Boston almost immediately if he starts demanding for more.

[killian-whump]

10 things people like

So judging by the TRS promo photos released recently, as well as the trailer we got before that, I feel like NatGeo and/or Disney are really clued in to what appeals to people in a general sense - particularly the kind of people who might be planning to tune in to their upcoming astronaut show. So without further ado, I’d like to present 10 Things People Like™ 

Colin O’Donoghue

People like Colin O’Donoghue. He’s a likeable kind of guy. Colin O’Donoghue fans, rather unsurprisingly, are very fond of Colin O’Donoghue. If they could sprinkle little tiny Colin O’Donoghues on their breakfast cereal, they probably would. Then they would cry and refuse to eat it, because they wouldn’t want to engage in Colin O’Donoghue abuse. On second thought, this is a bad idea and no one should actually do it. Just... leave him out of your breakfast entirely and enjoy him in wholesome ways, like appreciating this photo.

Men in Suits

Well, who doesn’t like a nice looking man in a tidy suit? Nobody, that’s who! And since people don’t make television programs for nobody to watch them, that means putting handsome men in suits in your TV program is just a plain all-around good idea. For added fun, each suit is unique in its own different way. One of them is brown. One is very gray (not just sort of gray!). One has a bow tie. One is worn by Colin O’Donoghue, which seems like a concerted effort to appeal to Colin O’Donoghue fans who like men in suits...

Men in Uniform

Yes, please! Everyone likes a good uniform, don’t they? Heck, there’s even romance novels that feature army men, firefighters, police men, you name it... all basically just to have an excuse to put a man in uniform on the cover. They’re not fooling anybody, you know. Anyhow, this particular uniform is being worn by Colin O’Donoghue, who looks really, really good in one. I’m starting to sense a theme here, and I’m starting to think this entire article may just be a thinly veiled attempt to list things Colin O’Donoghue fans like. In which case, we may as well throw all pretense aside and call it what it is...

Colin O’Donoghue in Uniform

I mean, when you have a good thing, you gotta get as many miles as you can out of it, so you should probably put it in the trailer and in the promo pics, and maybe even on the side of buses or the backs of park benches. These are just suggestions, of course. You’re welcome to put Colin O’Donoghue’s handsome face anywhere you damn well please (within reason), and doubly so if he’s in uniform when you’re doing it.

Colin O’Donoghue Doing Things™

If there’s one thing Colin O’Donoghue fans like, it’s Colin O’Donoghue. If there’s another thing Colin O’Donoghue fans like, it’s Colin O’Donoghue doing things. You might ask yourself, “What things do Colin O’Donoghue fans like to watch Colin O’Donoghue doing?” and to that, I will answer: “Pretty much anything at all, but especially things they haven’t already seen him do.” Knowing this, NatGeo and Disney have provided us with some truly amazing footage of Colin O’Donoghue Doing Things™ - things like this great shot of him spinning all around in a gyroscopey freefall simulator. Oooooh!

Colin O’Donoghue’s Smile

Colin O’Donoghue has the world’s most perfect and endearing smile. This is a scientific fact, and totally not a wild claim I’m making out of nowhere just because I really, really believe it to be true. When someone sees Colin O’Donoghue smile, their day just gets a little bit brighter. Their problems seem a little bit more manageable. Their skin clears up. Their crops are watered. They can’t help but smile, themselves. In fact, I’m pretty sure Colin O’Donoghue’s smile is a key part in the secret to attaining world peace. If it turns out to be, just remember you all heard it here first.

Colin O’Donoghue Punching People

Now, I hear a lot of you saying, “But wait! Doesn’t Colin get punched in almost everything he does?” and the answer to that is, of course, YES. Yes, he does. Colin O’Donoghue has a very handsome, but apparently very punchable, face. Showrunners know everyone is expecting that precious, gorgeous face to get belted at some point - and thus, they know better than to show that in promotional materials. If they show us Colin O’Donoghue punching someone else, instead, they are essentially teasing us all with what we know will inevitably follow - someone punching Colin O’Donoghue right back.

Colin O’Donoghue Smooching

Look. We Colin O’Donoghue fans are simple people. We like simple things. Colin O’Donoghue. Colin O’Donoghue wearing things. Colin O’Donoghue doing things. Colin O’Donoghue existing. Really, we’re pretty easy to please. So it should come as no surprise that we also enjoy it when Colin O’Donoghue’s face runs into someone else’s face and things happen. Smoochy things. Things with the lips and the tongue and the... smooches. Hee hee.

Colin O’Donoghue Sporting (Fake) Injuries

We all know they’re out there. Wild Colin O’Donoghue fans who call themselves “whumpers” and who love seeing Colin play parts that involve his characters getting tied up or beaten up, or even just tripping over a bear trap someone thoughtlessly left in a field somewhere so he has to limp through an entire film. Some of these fans even have crazy blog names composed of his most well-known character’s name followed not-at-all-cleverly by “-whump”. Naturally, these strange individuals never want to see Colin hurt, but they sure do like it when his characters are! The Right Stuff was long expected to be rather light on the kind of content these fans crave, but the powers that be seem to have decided to bless us all - I mean them all - with this adorable hand bandage, anyway. Bless <3

Everything About Whatever This Is

If there’s one winning combination in the world, it’s Colin O’Donoghue + Water. It’s sort of like that other combination of Mogwais + Water, except instead of spawning additional mogwais, this combo just spawns incredibly hot shots of Colin O’Donoghue. The Rite did it. Once Upon a Time did it. The Dust Storm did it. The Words did it. What Still Remains did it. JJ Sneed did it. And The Right Stuff is going to do it, too. How do we know? Well, that’s Colin O’Donoghue right there, running barefoot at the other fellow and tackling him into a pool. Are they fighting? Is this foreplay? What’s happening here? We don’t know, but we’re all pretty much 100% ready for it, whatever it is, and eager to see it. After all, the only thing better than Colin O’Donoghue is Wet Colin O’Donoghue.

[images and gifs are not mine, except the one or two that are mine]

[imdoingthismspaintadventure]

In which we close a narrative loop and dave is a tsun

Dave: Get the damn beta and save your friend's life!

Let’s get a move on!!

Finally the betas are easily accesible when we want them to be, instead of spending 40 pages finding them by doing things like throwing cakes out the window

This notion strikes you as nonsensical. You can't imagine how a video game could save someone's life, and in any case, you're quite sure no one you know is in any danger.

.... fucking what

Is this before the other things? Have we gone slightly back in time in terms of the general story? Is this while John was fucking around in his room?

....Does this mean that we will lose these betas somehow in the inmediate future because nothing can ever be easy? Oh no

Anyway, these are your copies of the beta you received in the mail recently. You've labeled them with your name in BOLD RED PRINT to distinguish them from your BRO's copies, who labeled his in kind. Neither of you really gives a shit about this game or has any intention of playing it, but you'll be damned if you'll let that get in the way of your campaign of one-upmanship.

What is it with these kids and weird family relationships?

I predict we will lose our copies and we will have to get Bro’s copies, based on that each kid so far has had their parent/authority figure as an antagonistic force.

Dave: Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable.

Oh god this is indeed a pattern we are going to be following!

We had the “wrong name” bit, the “find your arms” bit, the “idiotic command” bit....Are we going to do them again for GG when they are introduced? I wonder what this command will be then.

You would never consider allowing any fluid even remotely resembling urine to touch your beloved TURNTABLES. That would risk breaking them, and a world without the gift of your godly science just doesn't sound like a place you want any part of. While you're at it, you might as well wipe out human civilization with a meteor or something ridiculous like that which will probably never happen.

I like that the “on your turntable” part is the outrageous part of “bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable” for Dave. Kid values his raps more than his life. Although it’s probably true that the world would be lesser without those wonderful, wonderful things.

And yeah, nothing to worry about with meteors and such, Dave. I’m sure nothing bad will happen, ever. Just like how those game copies you have are going to be safe and accesible forever.

That sort of thing only happens in stupid idiot movies for stupid idiots.

Oh come on, I’m sure you can find a bit of value in them, even if it’s in a “so bad it’s good” kind of way.

==>

...wait, are you really considering it?

You will however contemplate bleating like a goat for IRONICALLY HUMOROUS purposes at a later date.

...I will keep that in mind in case it comes up later.

If PS has taught me anything is that these comics are Chekhov’s armories

Dave: Examine closet.

So inside the closet there is yet another package (probably a gift from John, judging by the pattern we seem to be having. Seriously, do all these kids send each other presents in the same manner? ) and some sort of drink?

This is your closet. This is where you keep a lot of your crap.

Most accurate description of a closet ever

Like that BOX. And that bottle of... what is that? Is that...?

.....

Is that seriously a jar of piss? I would say “wtf” loudly, but your room is such a weird combination of things (including those weird fetus/ dissecated animals/ weeeeird shit) that I wouldn’t even be suprised

Dave: Check the blue box.

.....WHAT?

W-Why is there the BLACK OILY SUBSTANCE THAT STAINED THE KITCHEN WHERE JOHN IS STRANDED IN THE VOID HERE, ON THE PACKAGE??

Does the oil have multiversal properties? If it stains one’s house it also retroactively stains his possesions?? Or is this package from after those events?? Has it gone back in time??

WHAT??

But first let’s stop for a moment to appreciate the fact that Dave has a signed Stiller poster

This is the package that your friend John Egbert sent you for your 13th birthday a little while ago. It now contains nothing except a NOTE and a CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY vouching for the genuine Hollywood memorabilia which the box originally contained, and which you are now wearing to be IRONIC but also to be INCREDIBLY COOL IN A WAY SOMEHOW INTANGIBLY RELATED TO THE IRONIC NATURE OF THE ACCESSORY. You find it sort of exasperating to explain these subtleties to people.

John gave him the shades!! And they are apparently the real shades Ben Stiller wore in the movie!! That means that they are not *the* universal shades of PS, unless the shades in the Stiller bust were these ones and they somehow ended up there. But isn’t PS a videogame in this universe? But these shades had the universal glow?

Let’s not think too hard about that. It’s probably just an easter egg.

Also Dave please write a thesis on irony, the world needs it please.

The BOX also included a signed photo of BEN STILLER which now proudly hangs above your closet. Proudly and IRONICALLY.

I really like this totally (un)cool hipster kid.

Dave: Take box.

ohwahtthefuck

WHY ARE THE SYLLADEXES GETTING WORSE???

So it classifies things based on the balance of consonants and vocals in the name of the object and assigning an index value like in a hash map.

Oh boy this is a completely useless one in terms of getting shit done quickly, unless you have a godly grasp on words and their composition.

You captchalogue the BOX through your HASH MAP FETCH MODUS. Your modus's current HASH FUNCTION resolves the index by valuing each consonant at 2, and each vowel at 1. The total is divided by your number of cards, and the remainder is the index. BOX = 2 + 1 + 2 = 5 5 % 10 = 5 The BOX is captchalogued in card 5.

Just...LOOK at this

Look at this madness.

Dave: Examine jar of unknown yellow substance in the closet.

I don’t know why, but the combination of the quick turnaround, the fanfare and the fucking apple’s face makes this way more funny than it should be.

So it WAS apple juice after all.

Oh hell yes. It is an unopened container of APPLE JUICE. You thought you were all out. It is like fucking christmas up in here. This is so great. You've got to tell John about this immediately. He'll be so excited.

Oh wait, is this before the first conversation, when Dave and John talked about Little Monsters and Apple Juices? Is this why that conversation was as out of left field as it was?

I see how it all fits together now

Dave: Take juice.

You captchalogue the JUICE into card 7. 2+1+1+2+1 %10 = 7.

Dear god is this system nightmarish

Dave: Access Pesterchum and pester John.

Oh I can see the loop closing!

In addition to letting your buddy know about this outstanding juice windfall, you figure you'll wish him a happy birthday while you're at it. In your own cool, sort of roundabout way of course. Good thing you looked at that box he sent you, or you might have forgotten. You also might as well ask him about that beta. The kid's been harping about it for weeks. It would be cool if it came on his birthday. He'd be one happy camper.

Dave is such a tsundere in his friendships holy shit. You care about your friends a lot you dork

That background is rad

Wtf is “Complete Bullshit” as an app. (Probably some complete bullshit)

Ill beats because the laws of this universe demand it

Hephaestus, isn’t that the god of the blacksmiths and craftsmen? Cool icon. Reminds me of those flash games where the icons all fought each other.

Of course his emote in Pesterchum is  S m o o t h

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 18:13 -- TG: hey so what sort of insane loot did you rake in today EB: i got a little monsters poster, it's so awesome. i'm going to watch it again today, the applejuice scene was so funny. TG: oh hell that is such a coincidence i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here EB: ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage? TG: but TG: the seal on the bottle is unbroken TG: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory EB: all im saying is don't you think monster howie mandel has the power to do something as simple as reseal a bottle? EB: try using your brain numbnuts. TG: why did the fat kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like TG: i mean his reaction was nigh instantaneous EB: it was the 15th day in a row howie mandel peed in his juice. TG: ok i can accept that TG: monster B-list celebrity douchebags are cunning and persistent pranksters TG: also fred savage has a really punchable face TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it TG: did you get the beta yet EB: no. EB: did you? TG: man i got two copies already TG: but i dont care im not going to play it or anything the game sounds boring TG: did you see how it got slammed in game bro???? EB: game bro is a joke and we both know it. TG: yeah TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now EB: alright.

And they DID indeed have the exact same conversation!!!

We are indeed back in time!!

We are sooooo gonna lose those Betas!!!! : D

[forcebaby732]

Why Didn’t You Kill Me - Epilogue

NOTE - I’ve loved writing this story and all the wonderful people who have commented on it, truly, Thank You for making my day. As you’ll see, I really struggle to end things. I don’t plan on writing any more on this, but if Anyone would like to pick up where I left off and continue the adventures of these characters I would really love that. Thank You Again! *muah!*

------

Family?

Our…family?

It takes a moment for Rey to understand. The warmth of Ben’s hand radiates on her belly.

But, It’s so alien, so unbelievable, so…

A child? Our child? In me?

She thinks… well she doesn’t know what to think. She knew that what they had done was how procreation happens, but she had thought, I don’t know, that she’d have to want for it to happen. There’s elation and fear, wonder and anxiety. She looks at him with tears in her eyes…

Then Rey thinks about her parents and his… her childhood and his… and she feels a woops of terror go through her.

“Don’t be afraid,” he murmurs, his grip tightening, moisture in his eyes matches her own.

 “We are not your parents or mine,” Ben says firmly. “We’ve changed the future, and now, we’ll make this right too.”

A rush of relief and exhilaration fill Rey to the brim and she meets his determined gaze.

She just opens her mouth to speak when they both feel it. Rey and Ben gasp and turn their heads, sensing a tugging of the force. A familiar aura is flickering. A powerful will is fleeing the force.

They’re running and before they know it they’re by Leia’s bedside. Rey is curled up beside Leia on the bed as Ben stands, stoic and unmoving, looking out of place and at a loss for what to do. He doesn’t deserve his mother’s forgiveness, after all the pain he’s caused, and the pre-mature death he’s the cause of. He took her husband, broke her heart, failed to protect her from the missile that pierced the bridge of the Raddus.

But there was still much he didn’t forgive her for either. For sending him away, for fearing his darkness instead of acknowledging that darkness lives in us all. It’s a part of the balance. He wishes his parents had known to embrace him instead of isolate him. He wishes it could all be different, that they could have a second chance.

Then she opens her eyes.

With her final strength Leia lifts a shaking hand towards her son, a glimmer in her gaze. Rey sits up, already crying, watching the scene unfold before her.

Ben lets out a ragged breath, before his large trembling fingers engulf her own.

“I’m sorry,” comes Leia raspy, struggling voice.

His heart feels like it’s being ripped from his chest and it takes all his focus the keep himself from breaking down entirely in that moment. Deep brown eyes snap up as he feels his mother’s life slipping away beneath his fingertips.

“Me too,” comes his deep, broken voice. His throat burns with suppressed emotion as Leia, winces and closes her eyes.

Her voice fails her, as does her body. And with her last thread of consciousness she reaches out to her son with her mind.

I’ll be with you. Always.

As she fades from the force Rey lowers her head, kissing Leia’s hand and laying it on her chest. She stands, taking Ben’s hand instead and giving it a squeeze. She can feel his giant frame shuttering, wrecked with suppressed sobs. He kneels, thinking he doesn’t deserve his mother’s love but desperately relieved to have had it in the end. Rey’s hands move to his shoulders and that’s how they stay for a long time in reverence of the life force that just left them.

Neither knows how long they’re standing like that when their mourning is interrupted by… what’s that?

Something they didn’t sense before. Ben spins around placing his hands on Rey’s belly and she gasps, meeting his eyes with awe. The tiny heart beat within her is not one, but two. And they highly suspect they know, who has joined her sibling.

The force has truly given their family a second chance.

----

11 YEARS LATER

Mara and Gray stand among the landing party on the small shuttle, descending from the mega star destroyer down to the dreamscape that was the lake country of Naboo.

They huddle together in the cramped quarters among their secretive personal guard, flanked by two Knights of Ren and a few paces behind their indomitable father. Clad in his black armor and robes, he commands these forces, and all the Free Order forces across the galaxy. They know by now they are expected to behave, at least, that is, until they can get away from prying eyes.

Mara and Gray have always been heavily guarded, and often didn’t see or speak with anyone but their parents, their parent’s close friends and a handful of students. The twins have grown up onboard various giant Free Order ships, at times alternating between Coruscant and Naboo. But they are never far from their parent’s sides, always with either one or the other, but rarely with both together.

That’s why the 10-year-olds are so excited. For three glorious days they are going to be together as a family, thanks to some big galactic meeting. Plus, they’ll get to see Uncle Finn and Auntie Rose, who they haven’t seen in close to a year.

Gray is a happy go lucky, sweet and bubbly boy, much like his mother. Mara is more reserved and serious like her father, but with a wicked sense of humor.  Even now she pinches her brother using the force, he winces, whining, “Stoppp,” as low as he can.

A moment later they both wince.

“Ow!”

Both are pinched on the arm at the same time and they look up ahead to see their father shoot them a mischievous smirk, followed by a definite sense that if they didn’t cut it out, they’d feel it in training later.

You got us in trouble.

Maybe if your face wasn’t so punchable I could control myself.

You’re not funny Mara.

No, I’m hilarious.

Ben lets a deep sigh escape his throat as he tries to tune out his children’s mental squabbling. He can’t wait to see his Rey.

The twins crane their necks to look out a tiny view port as they zoom over their family’s Naboo lake house. A minute later the shuttle shutters as it lands on a platform before a collection of what look like small castles surrounding a large lake, framed by mountains that are alight with the reds and oranges of the early morning sun.

The ramp descends and as the troops file out Mara and Grey catch sight of their mother in billowing white and grey robes, her hair in a half bun and a giant gleaming smile on her face. Their 5-year-old brother Jace is wrapped around her leg.

“Mom!”

“Mommy!”

Shucking all decorum, the twins break from the landing party rushing their mother who they haven’t seen in three months. They tackle her into a heap of happy giggles, hugs and wet kisses. It feels so good not only to be in her presence after so long, but to be able to call her mother without fear of discovery.

After taking hold of the First Order, Rey and Ben began a long, arduous process of transition with Ben commanding the military might of the First Order as Rey led the great galactic negotiations for autonomy and free governance. There were still a great many dissenters, but what came of it all was the Free Order.

Galactic governance, with the safety and order of those worlds guaranteed by Ren and his forces.

He took the mantel of Supreme Commander Solo of the Free Order forces while Rey temporarily became leader of the new Galactic Senate, with the power to veto if things got off track of their vision.

It had been incredibly stressful, especially since they had chosen to keep her pregnancy a secret. They knew their family would be the ultimate target.

It took a long time for the twins to understand that it was for their own protection. It’s still a sore spot in their little souls that they can’t always acknowledge their parents when they’re before the other students or in public. For Mara, it’s more of a sore spot than for her sweet, sensitive brother. Gray has always been a peace-maker and Mara loves to tease him. But she also is never quite as enraged as when someone makes him cry. Mara often wonders if the world is as dangerous as their parents make it out to be…

But right now, there is only bliss.

“My lovey monsters how I’ve missed you!” Rey calls as she hugs her children close.

Eventually the twins move on from their mother, to grapple with their younger brother.

Ben approaches, dark robes billowing, his deep brown eyes devouring the sight of her. He offers her a hand, lifting her effortlessly up and into his chest.

“Husband,” she breathes, arms circling his impossibly broad chest, made more-so by the armor.

“Wife,” he rumbles and Rey delights in the sound.

They savor their brief display of affection before breaking away, knowing they’ll have time to catch up soon. Rey steps back and they take each other’s hands and squeeze.

To most they are saviors of the galaxy. An undefeatable couple bound by marriage and the mystical wonder of the force. But their greatest achievement, they feel, is as mother and father. Mara, Gray and Jace are strong and loved and SAFE. It’s a significant achievement considering the magnitude of threats they’ve both fended off. 

After Rey handed off governance responsibilities to an elected leader, she was able to focus on finding and training force sensitives from dozens of worlds. That allowed Mara and Gray the chance to meet new people and act like normal kids. It also gave their parents time to conceive their brother ;)

Rey and Ben took turns teaching about both the light and dark sides of the force and in so doing they were able to pass the children back and forth. The truth only known to their inner most circle.

Finally tearing his eyes away from hers, Ben steps over, reaches down into the fray of little bodies and pulls up Jace, holding him high above his head at full arms-length. 

“Did you take care of your mother? Did you protect her? Did you do everything she says? Did you get stronger?” 

Little Jace giggles, nodding his head as he stretches his little arms down trying to embrace his father.

“Hug!”

“Did you take a bath and do your weapons training? Did you eat your vegetables?”

Chuckling he finally lets the boy down and lets his little arms wrap around his neck in a crushing embrace.

“I see these little rathtars are sooo much more-tame after their time with Daddy,” Rey says with sass as the twins try to scale their tiny mother.

He just scoffs.

“They have too much of their mother in them.” 

She scoffs back and punches him playfully (too hard) in the gut and they share an electric, knowing glance. He’ll get her back for that when they’re alone.

They need to make an appearance at the palace before the galactic summit. 

Reluctantly they entrust their children to the care of their human nannies and the two Knights of Ren who are accompanying them on this particular mission. They’ll be safe for the time being. 

….

Bliss personified is the only way to describe their day.

Once the preliminary meetings with dignitaries at the palace are over, Ben and Rey return and sweep into the wide marbled entryway of their castle-like home, shucking their capes and gathering screaming children into their arms. As Rey swings Jace and Mara around, Ben flings Gray into the air with the force and sends him soaring up to the very top of the vaulted ceiling. 

He plummets into his father’s arms, landing with an Oomf before erupting into hysterical laughter. Rey shoots Ben a sharp look once her heart starts beating again.

“What? I caught him,” Ben says defensively, as he chuckles, mischief in his eyes.

Then the other children are clambering around their father with arms up, begging to be thrown as high.

“You always were a fan of inappropriate uses of the force,” Rey laughs.

Ben gestures as if to say, ‘who me?’ in a way highly reminiscent of the scoundrel Han Solo. Then he scoops up Mara and Jace and flings them both in the air.

“Rii’a’s beard,” cries Rey as she dives to catch a shrieking Jace. Mara lands in her father’s big black arms, her wild hair falling over her face as she giggles madly.  

Later, in an expansive kitchen, Ben and his best kitchen droids prepare a delectable dinner of favorites from across the galaxy. Rey, Gray and Jace are not allowed to help because they eat the ingredients but Mara is an eager student. Cooking time with Dad is her favorite time.  Ben floats some Endorian beats her way, and flicks Mara’s little high top pony tail when she’s sliced them correctly. She beams at the affection.

Ben had vowed long ago that their children would never be left alone with any droids. Though, practically being raised by a kitchen droid did leave him with some impressive culinary skills. What a strange but wonderful thing this was. Giving what he always longed to receive, living through his children’s happy smiles. There was a time in his life of only darkness and despair, he could have never imagined this life for himself. And now, he knew he could never be without it. These small moments, rare as they were, meant everything.

…

Later that evening the family walks along the lake front as the sun sets brilliantly over the mountaintops. 

Lush cliff faces surround the water in all directions, accented by wildflowers and babbling brooks. 

Their parents are fighting again.

Well, play fighting.

Beside the shimmering country lake, with twilight sending a million sparkles off the gently rippling waters… Ben and Rey stand facing off against each other dramatically.

They’ve dressed down to more casual attire. Ben in a cool thin black shirt with a soft folded fabric v-neck collar flapping in the wind. His pants are also black but thinner. Rey is wearing an airy, sleeveless beige tunic and gray capris.

“Fight me Jedi,” Ben booms, pointing a wooden training staff in her direction.

She laughs in his face. “You know you’re no match for me. I’ll destroy you.”

Their normally stoic father gets way too into it. Standing tall upon a rocky hill he proclaims, “You may try, but you will see that the force is stronger with me.”

Their boys giggle while Mara rolls her eyes. They’re playing on some boulders nearby.

Mara whines, “Really? You guys do the same thing every time. Then disappear for hours…”

“I will defend my honor,” Rey proclaims, stepping up with her own play staff.

Grey shouts excitedly, “Yeah! Get him mom!”

Mara scoffs. “Please, we all know Dad is the strongest. All he has to do is tickle her...”

Rey attacks! Ben blocks her blows above his head then spins blocking another blow from behind, then stabs at her. Rey leaps, twisting over his head and landing behind him. Their fight carries over the boulder and down onto the beach where Rey uses the force to hit him with a wall of water. He slices through the water sending streams of spray all around him, soaking his short sleeve shirt so that it now clings to every sinewy muscle flexing and striking with power. He blocks an intensely quick series of strikes and force pushes her back towards the woods.

The children try to follow cheering, but it isn’t long before they lose their parents like they always do.

Rey and Ben are working up a sweat, not pulling any punches. They put power into their strikes causing tremors in the ground. It’s too much for their staffs. The wooden swords shatter sending splinters flying. It gives Rey time to scramble back into a cool cavernous cave.

This was carved out by water. Tree roots are snaking through the stone making the air sweet and damp.

Ben recovers quickly, stalking his prey into the cave.

“Yield,” he demands in a sultry boom.

Rey backs into a wall and Ben pulls her hands above her head.

“Never,” she proclaims and he captures her mouth with a passion. Ben kisses his wife like it’s the first and the last time.

She whimpers into his mouth, throwing her arms around his neck and leaping up. He easily catches her by the bottom, pressing harder into her against the cool cave wall.

An overwhelming sense of peace and gratitude swell within him. Ben halts his moment of passion and pulls away letting his head fall on her shoulder and pulling his Rey into a tighter embrace, breathing her in. Rey smiles knowingly and hugging him back. They share an overwhelming sense of relief.

“I missed you too,” she whispers, answering his unspoken sentiment.

He growls his contentment.

“Now kiss me.”

She doesn’t have to ask him twice.

And for two hours Ben gets reacquainted with his wife several times.

…

It’s on their return, just as they emerge from a clearing approaching their estate that the blast happens.

A massive explosion rattles the ground, and off in the distance, in the direction of the palace, a giant fireball rises into the night sky.

They run back to the family compound, skidding to a halt in the courtyard.

Gray and Jace are frightened and hugging. Their small staff are gathering together looking off to the distance where thick black smoke is rising.

Looking around, Ben makes a sinking realization.

“Where’s Mara?”

“She ran towards it, after the knights left. I couldn’t stop her…” says Gray.

Ben is off before he can finish talking.

“Stay here, don’t move!” Commands Rey as she takes off after her husband, leaping onto a sleek land speeder. Catching up to Ben, she holds out a hand. He takes it, leaping onto the speeder behind her and together they race towards the palace.

...

Mara has always been daring, always eager. She doesn’t want to be left behind, especially when she thinks she can help. She waits until the knights guarding them take off, before bolting towards the thrill of danger.

That thrill is quickly extinguished when she runs right into a full-scale assault!

Mara gasps and throws herself to the ground as laser fire zooms over her head. This is too much! She must get away!

A large part of the palace is burning, the charred bodies of men and women lay strewn across the grounds. She’s never seen a dead body before and the sight alone is like a punch to her chest, followed by the percussion of another blast nearby. Mara screams a little and starts crawling back towards the tree line when something comes walking over the hill. With thunderous steps she sees a line of modified AT-AT Walkers, all in black.

But those are Dad’s weapons, she thinks wildly to herself. This can’t be right! What is happening!?

The ground rattles as a walker crashes through the trees beside her, shattering trees and blocking her route of escape.

The massive machine turns with a sickening whine, training its weapons on Mara scrambling in the grass.

She cries knowing there’s nowhere to run and then…!

He’s there like a wall of darkness. A crushing blackness sweeps before her, halting a massive blast dead in the air. The viciousness of it chills her to the bone. Mara is left shaking, looking up to see the face of her savior when he turns to look over his shoulder and it’s her father! He’s grimacing at the weight of the force holding the blast. It’s the first time she’s ever witnessed the true crushing intensity of his dark power. Was this really her Daddy?

“Run!” He screams.

She’s too petrified to move.

Ben screams agagin, throwing the blast back from where it came. It strikes the walker with a blinding explosion. Then he jolts her back with the force and it’s finally enough to snap Mara into action.

“Go protect your brothers!”

“But dad…”

“GOOO!” he roars, just as another barrage comes their way.

There’s a sweep of light and her mother is there. Rey’s power is just as intense but with a smoother, brighter texture, not as terrifying as her father’s. It is pure awe, like the energy of the earth itself rising up around her.

Mara closes her eyes and she can feel her parents’ energy flowing around each other, repelling attacks, predicting new ones. It’s like life itself. It’s total awe.

She’s pulled out of her wonder by a tug in her chest…

Gray! He’s in trouble! She can feel her twin’s panic. She’s dashing off like a rocket, willing the force to make her faster.

…

It’s mayhem back at the estate.

Their staff lay stunned and bloodied across the courtyard. Gray and Jace are huddled in the center, surrounded by dark figures. One reaches down lifting the both of them easily. She hears their screams as Gray fights to keep his little brother in his arms.

It’s her only chance.

She grabs the practice saber at her side. It won’t kill but she might be able to stun some of their attackers, causing enough confusion for them to get away.

She screams a warrior cry and dives at the group. Her brothers fall to the ground and she swings her blade as quickly as she can. But she’s met with red energy weapons she’s never seen before. Just two of them attack her, the others looming, dark humor and murderous intent spilling from them in waves.

They’re too strong, too fast!

Moments later the saber is flung from her hand and Mara is force thrown back at her siblings. She lands with an oomf and hugs her sniffling brothers close.

“You will learn to obey little Skywalkers,” comes a low, almost reptilian voice of one of the hooded figures.

All seems lost when…

VROOOM

The Millennium Falcon swoops in! Uncle Finn and Chewie at the controls. They open fire, taking out several dark figures. The attackers around the children scatter. The Falcon lands continuing a barrage of fire, as Mara pulls her brothers out of the courtyard and behind a stone wall.

Seconds later two familiar presences in the force are back. Rey and Ben descend on their enemies in a blur of light. Ben and Mara peak over the edge of the wall at the brutal power of their parents’ attacks. The twins for the first time begin to understand who their mother and father truly are.

Moments later the sounds of battle quiet. The would-be kidnappers lie dead, but for one.

“Get the children,” Rey calls to Finn and Chewie.

Ben towers over the last living assailant, Rey joining him at his side.

“Who are you,” his voice is deadly.

 That reptilian creature just laughs and gasps a bloody breath.

“Who. Are. You,” Ben booms, laying all the weight of the force to compel the creature’s compliance.

“Sith,” it hisses.

Rey and Ben share a stunned look before Ben drops to his knees, pulling the black assailant up by its tattered robes.

“What’s your purpose here?”

“The heirs of Skywalker will join us or perish. We will restore the First Order and destroy all your foolish sentiment.”

BAM! Ben slams the evil thing down on the ground, breaking into its mind with his outstretched fingers. “Tell me everything.”

…

“I didn’t know Snoke had other apprentices.” Rey can’t keep the fear from her voice.

They stand outside the childrens’ chamber. The three young siblings are finally asleep after their terrifying ordeal, snuggled up in a giant bed with their Uncle Chewie keeping watch.

“I made an effort to dispatch them once Snoke was gone. There must have been a survivor.”

“They know who our children are. They won’t stop.”

“Nothing will tear us apart. We take the fight to them. NOW.”

Rey puts her hand upon his shoulder.

“We can’t leave the children alone. We can’t hide them. But if they come with us, we’re taking them right into the heart of danger. No one is powerful enough to stop this threat but us. And no one is powerful enough to protect our children but us. We can’t trust your Knights. You know as well as I how restless they are. If there’s a new apprentice to Snoke, a new Sith… they could turn on us. They won’t protect our children. What do we do?”

Ben wraps his arms around his wife, taking some solace in her light. He hates to admit that she’s right. His Knights grow tired of peace. He will have to test their loyalty again.

“No one is taking this from us,” He rumbles into her hair, kissing her head. “We’ll fight them. As a family. The children stay with us.”

At daybreak they set out together in a hunt for the monsters that would tear their family and the galaxy asunder.

—-

ON Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13990587/chapters/32213859

—

Part 1: http://bit.ly/2IdHDTN

Part 2: http://bit.ly/2Ie5q5G

Part 3: http://bit.ly/2oVTDRD

Part 4: http://bit.ly/2HztYF7

Part 5: https://bit.ly/2G8K7RP

Part 6: https://bit.ly/2GfN5YH

Part 7: https://bit.ly/2upJMJa

Part 8: https://bit.ly/2JbkYaW

Part 9: https://bit.ly/2GZFflF

Part 10: https://bit.ly/2HnC9FF

Part 11: https://bit.ly/2HucNsb

Part 12: https://bit.ly/2vt5sED

Part 14: https://bit.ly/2KxOWGN

Part 15: https://bit.ly/2Kt5r6l

Part 16: https://bit.ly/2x5QLYR

-----

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[idlesuperstar]

MORE favourite dead not-American actors: an Advent Calendar

Day 20: Herbert Lom

There’s a great game you can play when you’re watching Herbert Lom films (or more accurately, films he’s in, as he’s rarely the lead) - What Country Is He From This Time? I’ve yet to come across one where he’s actually Czech (his own nationality) but have tallied up quite a few europeans: Italian (Hell Drivers, The Love Lottery, The Ladykillers), Greek (Night and the City) half Greek/half German (Snowbound), French (Dual Alibi, where he is twin trapeze artists!)...you get the drift. This is both a testament to his adaptability, and a failing on the part of filmmakers to care about casting. Need a dark, vaguely european, possible bad guy? Herbert is your fella.

And he is awesome. He has a real stillness and calm about him - think of it, if you’ve seen him as a villain, or someone against the hero, he’s rarely loud about it. He’s quietly amused; in control but relaxed, not one to get hysterical or lose his head. It’s this that grounds his sympathetic characters too: he’s often to be found playing soothingly understanding doctors or psychiatrists (The Seventh Veil, The Dead Zone, The Human Jungle), which is a nice change from all the hoods and master criminals. He does comedy as well, of course, with understated brio. As I said, he’s rarely the lead; like a lot of my faves he’s small and dark and not typical Star Material, even though he’s an actor of subtlety and intelligence. 

And also, also, he is (especially in his youth) really attractive. There’s always the film that tips you over from liking someone to liking someone, whether it’s the last straw in an accumulation of things, or it’s a corker of a role. I think for me it was the first time watching Night and the City - not only is he far more appealing than the theoretical hero (an excellent but punchable Richard Widmark), he’s really pretty, and although he’s a kind of villain, he’s an appealing one. And oh man, he has a great voice.  

Favourite Role: Amico in The Love Lottery (1954) where he’s the clever, debonair, calm foil to David Niven’s wonderfully comic Famous Film Star. Not so much a bad guy here as an opponent, and a great one. I love this ridiculous little film so much, and it’s my mission to make everyone I know watch it. 

Another Good Place to Start: The Human Jungle (1963-4) which is a british telly programme where he plays Dr Roger Corder, a calm, kindly psychiatrist. It’s pretty good, for the sixties, has some good guest stars, and Herbert is just exactly what I would want from a therapist in the 60s. It’s great to see him have a lead role in a long running show. Yay. Also, he’s adorable as the incredibly italian Gino in Hell Drivers (1957), another film I try to make everyone watch. It’s lovely to see him playing an actual cinnamon roll, but you know he’s too pure for a world that has mentaller Pat McGoohan in it, never mind a whole bunch of crooks and reprobates. A great, gritty little british film. 

[bird-inacage]

Love in the Air: Is Prapai an Asshole?

So I have seen some less than complimentary comments on Prapai’s character, namely because of poor Sky (which is understandable and completely valid). I thought I would offer my two cents.

Now, the series has been very clear in defining Prapai as a rich playboy and brat essentially; spoilt, somewhat careless, cocky, smug, has had everything in life handed to him pretty easily. All the common symptoms that come with being wealthy and privileged. A walking red flag you may even say. His little brother is actually a great example of how that upbringing reflects in others within their circle.

And I’ll admit, there were definitely moments in episode 8 where I was like ‘ohh you are being so slimy right now, with your smug, smarmy and quite punchable face’.

But I think that’s the point. Prapai is meant to be the antithesis to Sky. He’s everything Sky is not. But I also don’t believe he’s a genuinely awful person. If we consider Stop as a comparison, Prapai doesn’t go about his life intending to hurt or aggrieve people. I think the key differentiation is intention. He’s just incredibly self-centred.

Prapai’s life revolves around what he wants and does, which means he doesn’t possess any perception outside of that. So if he does rub people up the wrong way, or inconveniences someone, causes damage - he’s likely doing this without having even noticed he has. It’s not even on his radar, which is textbook ignorance and a maddening lack of self-awareness. What would change this is if his actions had consequences. If someone was able to call out his bullshit, and he was actually able to see why and how his actions can be problematic. Even Payu doesn’t stop him from pursuing Sky, knowing full well what his friend can be like. Clearly no one in Prapai’s life has acted as his moral compass, and this is again where Sky is going to play a massive role.

My take is that Prapai is not truly an asshole, he just exhibits a lot of asshole behaviour. Some of which is just straight-up bravado and big talk (and should not be taken with an inch of seriousness). His ‘asshole’ tendencies is what I believe the series will attempt to unravel.

Prapai’s first encounter with Sky

Prapai has grown up in a world where most people are just like him, and that has inevitably enabled a lot of those bad traits.

I don’t think he should be excused for how his behaviour with Sky at the beginning probably caused a lot of internalised damage. We do have to remember that he doesn’t know Sky at all. Doesn’t know Sky’s history, his personality, not even his name. And during that initial encounter, he doesn’t really care. Why would he? He probably thought he’d never see Sky again.

When you’re young, handsome, privileged, wealthy and powerful, life is mostly fun and games. Prapai’s probably never had to take anything that seriously. So his perspective in most situations is probably ‘This is just some fun, you’re on board with that right? Everyone else is’. He doesn’t fathom what the other side looks like. Note that throughout this episode, Prapai is amused by his pursuit of Sky. He sees it like a game that Sky is playing hard to get.

Sex is also a casual transaction in Prapai’s world. We see that he goes on booty calls. It doesn’t have the gravitas to him as it may do for other people. Payu even comments that at the races, people bet anything - as if these things are easily expendable in their world. They are a very out of touch group of people.

And Prapai probably assumes - why wouldn’t Sky enjoy a night with him? He’s a catch, and everyone in his life has either inflated his ego or given him positive reinforcement. So again, it doesn’t even occur to him that Sky is deeply troubled by this. Even if he did have the foresight, Sky quickly jumps in and gives him what he wants.

And he’s always gotten what he wants.

Prapai’s Lack of Maturity

I think people who come from privilege can have quite an immature and sheltered outlook on life, because they haven’t had to do much for themselves, ever. When Prapai starts to clock that he’s thinking about Sky a lot, he doesn’t get why. His thought process is very much like a 15 year old boy. He’s genuinely baffled.

He convinces himself that this is just a simple blip, nothing more. But when he continues having dalliances with other men, it doesn’t seem to do it for him anymore. Instead of doing some self-reflection, he thinks that by pursuing Sky, it’ll ‘cure’ him of whatever temporary spell he seems to be under.

A Few Redeeming Moments

In the scene where he’s invited another guy to spend the night with him, he very politely turns his guest down when he’s clearly not into it. He apologises and says he needs to figure things out, and that he’ll make it up to him. I’m assuming this is also a random fling but Prapai was quite sweet with him. A true asshole would probably be like ‘Yeah, I’ll let you see yourself out’.

I also really liked the interaction between Prapai and his brother. He really did come across as more mature in that scene, where he was the older sibling ushering his little bro to get to their family dinner on time.

Prapai’s Character Development

Now I do trust that over the weeks, Prapai will come to be humbled and will make attempts to redeem himself in Sky’s eyes and ours as the audience. I think Prapai will go through a lot of growth in this story. Sky is his turning point. His relationship and gradual love for Sky will make him a better person.

We already start to see at the end of the episode that Prapai takes 2 hours out of his day especially to go and buy Sky flowers and deliver them personally. His PA is visibly surprised. He’s evidently never made this effort for anyone before.

We’ll eventually see the sweeter, affectionate, caring and sincere sides of him. Sky does fall in love with him after all, so there must be good reason.

For all his faults and flaws, I can’t bring myself to dislike him. I actually find him very endearing in a sort of boy-who-needs-to-grow-up kind of way. And perhaps that’s a testament to Fort’s performance. I think his outlook on life right now is just very simplistic but Sky’s about to change all that.