#i never post on here but i guess. this show awakened something in me

[linkspooky]

ONCE MORE, I THINK I'LL LIVE FOR OTHERS

So of all the characters in Jujutsu Kaisen Megumi has turned out to be one of the most controversial and hotly debated characters. There's nothing the internet hates more than a boy with trauma, I guess. Jujutsu Kaisen is a controversial work in general so it's not surprising that the ending wasn't super well received by the fans, especially in the way it decided to conclude Megumi's character arc.

There are many people accusing Gege of giving Megumi no character development. Of Megumi just choosing to replace Tsumiki with Yuji. Lots of complaints about Megumi never finishing his domain expansion among other things. Of Megumi being nothing more than a damsel for Yuji to rescue in the end. I'm here to say I think Megumi does have a complete character arc even if it didn't end the way I would have liked, and under the cut I'll be giving my thoughts for Megumi's ending and JJK's ending in general.

I CAN ONLY SAVE THOSE WHO ARE PREPARED TO BE SAVED

If you were to ask me what the most important arc in Jujutsu Kaisen is, it would be Hidden Inventory. Hidden Inventroy covers the inciting incident which leads to all the conflicts in the main story, Riko's death, Geto's defection, Tengen's merger failing, and Gojo's decision to adopt Megumi.

However, it also shows us what motivates Gojo in the main series, mainly his desire to raise this generation of students into strong and intelligent allies because of his inability to save his closest friend when it most counted.

If the quote that summarizes the central theme of Jujutsu Kaisen Zero is "Love is the most twisted curse of them all."

Then I put forward that the quote that summarizes the theme of the main series is what Gojo said to Yaga post Geto's defection, "Being strong isn't enough, I can only save those who are prepared to be saved."

Just like Hidden Inventory is centered around Geto and Gojo's relationship in their youth, the main manga itself centers around Megumi and Itadori's relationship. The manga itself starts with their first meeting. Yuji devours the finger in order to try to help Megumi. Megumi requests Gojo help save Yuji from execution because he didn't want to see another good person die.

Megumi and Itadori are also a deliberate parallel to Geto and Gojo's friendship in the past. To begin with Gojo tried to nurture these relatoinships in his students so they COULD get along and enjoy their youths the way he remembers doing so with Geto in his three springtime of youth.

He not only encourages Megumi to selfishly try to save Yuji even though it is against the rules of sorcery and poses a risk to other people, he also encourages them to socialize at every opportunity.

The strong and intense friendship that Megumi and Yuji enjoy is not only a clear parallel to Geto and Gojo's special connection with one another, but also the fact that a strong reocurring motif in Megumi and Yuji's friendship is their strong desire to save each other. Which is a clear parallel to Gojo's inability to save Geto in the past.

As I said for a long time Yuji and Megumi were being set up as this generation's version of the "strongest duo" except they were going to be able to break the cycle. Whether it be by Megumi saving Yuji, or Yuji saving Megumi, they wouldn't be driven apart by the corruption in the Jujutsu World the way that Geto and Gojo were.

As I said the central question of Jujutsu Kaisen especially in regards to Megumi and Yuji's friendship is if it's possible to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Which is why Megumi and Yuji both wanting to save each other is something that happens again and again at different parts of the manga. Whether it be the ending of Origin of Obedience where Megumi and Yuji are both unable to talk to each other because they want to try to protect the other from information that might harm them. Megumi hiding the fact that he knows resonance between the Sukuna fingers awakened the curses. Yuji hiding the fact that Megumi's decision to save Yuji has caused strong curses to awaken and kill other people.

Just as often as these two try to save each other, they fail. Megumi watches Yuji die early on when Yuji takes back control from Sukuna and decides to die without a heart.

Megumi spends the entirety of the culling games clinging to Yuji's side no matter how Yuji tries to push him away because he knows Sukuna has plans for him. However, Megumi is afraid to leave Yuji alone because he knows Yuji is in a dark place after the Shibuya massacre and that if he's left alone Yuji might just find some way to off himself in a heroic sacrifice to try to atone for the people lost at Shibuya.

Only for Megumi's insistence on clinging to Yuji to backfire because Sukuna ends up taking his body from him in a critical moment. When Sukuna takes his body their circumstances swap and Megumi is the one who's body is being used to kill people by Sukuna. When Megumi has to live with the guilt of Sukuna using his body to kill both his sister and his teacher, he's not able to live with it anymore.

Then their positions swap completely and it's Megumi who wants to die to atone for the guilt, and it's Yuji who doesn't want to let go of Megumi and will do anything to save Megumi from both Sukuna and the other sorcerers even if the right thing to do is just kill both him and Sukuna and letting him live means putting the whole rest of the world at risk.

As you can see not only is saving each other a common theme of Megumi and Yuji's relationship, but at different points of the story both of them are trying to save the other even when the other doesn't value their own life.

Gojo's relationship with Geto is defined by his inability to reach his friend in time, and how he was "left behind" in the end.

Gojo explicitly waited a year after learning about Megumi being sold to the Zen'in clan to do anything, and only decided to intervene after Geto's defection. Gojo's decision to mentor Megumi was inspired by Geto leaving. He even said "Don't get left behind."

His hope in taking in students like Megumi, Yuta and Yuji was twofold first that he'd be able to handpick and raise several strong students who would eventually replace the elders and reform the Jujutsu World. The second and more personal motivation is that he wanted these students to be able to support each other and be strong allies to one another so they wouldn't end up alone like Gojo did in his youth.

Gojo's intentions were good however, Gojo has a very flawed understanding of how people and relationships work. In Gojo's books "strong=good" and almost everything can be solved by strength. Notice just one chapter ago Gojo said that being strong wasn't enough, he can only save those who are prepared to be saved and yet one chapter later he tells Megumi that he needs to get strong otherwise he'll be left behind.

So, even when Gojo knows that being strong isn't enough and didn't make a difference with Geto, that's still the only real advice he can offer Megumi.

A big theme of Jujutsu Kaisen is the failures of the past generation affecting the present. A lot of people in trying to put Gojo on a pedestal fail to realize one of the central themes of this manga is GOJO WAS WRONG. The way Gojo went about doing several things wasn't the right way. Gojo wants the next generation to succeed him and do better than him, because Gojo himself knows that he was wrong and he's a part of the past generation.

I think a big part of the reason the conclusion to Megumi's character arc is poorly received is that Megumi didn't end his arc the way that Gojo set out for him.

Scenes like this led the audience to believe that Megumi's character arc was going to be completed by him learning to be more selfish and living up to the potential that Gojo saw in him. That we were going to get a completed domain expansion. That Megumi was going to become stronger than Gojo because the ten shadows was the only technique to ever beat a wielder of the limitless and the six eyes.

I understand wanting to see Megumi living for himself, and how cool it might be to see Megumi's complete domain expansion after Gege teased us with this twice but I have to ask this.

If Gojo was the strongest sorcerer in the world, and that still wasn't good enough to save Geto. Then how would Megumi reaching his full potential as a sorcerer in any way help Megumi avoid making the same mistakes that Gojo did?

HAVEN'T WE HAD ENOUGH OF GOJO SATORU

I think a lot of dissatisfaction in Megumi's character development comes from he didn't really follow the path that Gojo set out for him. He didn't unlock his full domain expansion, he didn't learn to live more selfishly. They say that Megumi simply choosing to live for Yuji isn't him learning to stand on his own two feet because he's just hinging his self worth on someone else the same way he did with Tsumiki.

However, I have to ask.

How exactly would Megumi becoming more like Gojo or more like Sukuna be any better?

A big recurring theme in Megumi's arc is his lack of agency, and how many different adult figures have tried to mould him to their own selfish ends.

In the same chapter where Megumi has the flashback where Gojo encourages him to become more selfish, Sukuna has his hands wrapped around Megumi's neck in the colored page. Sukuna was never actually trying to mentor Megumi.

He only had an interest in Megumi because his ten shadows techniques was a way to bypass Gojo's infinity. Henever actually cared about Megumi reaching his full potential. He was grooming Megumi in the long term so he could snatch his body and turn him into a weapon against Gojo Satoru. The same way that Gojo only decided to take Megumi in and mentor him in the first place because his technique meant he had great potential as a sorcerer and a future ally in Gojo's crusade against the elders.

Megumi's life is defined by every adult in his life trying to mould him or use him selfishly for his own gains. His father sold him to the Zen'in clan for gambling money and abandoned him. Gojo only was interested in a strong ally against the elders. Sukuna is just one in a long line of people who are trying to shape Megumi into something he's not for their own selfish desires.

Ngl, the fushiguro girlies are kinda onto something with their characterization of Sukuna’s possession as the physical embodiment of his lifelong struggle for self determination and autonomy and how others have always pupeteered his fate for their own devices and he’s thusly never put himself first ─ his selfishness functioning ultimately as platitudes which still center others and his consideration for them. [SOURCE]

So if all of Megumi's various abusers have tried to make Megumi into something he's not and robbed him of his agency in the process, then is the best ending for Megumi really to become more selfish like Gojo or Sukuna?

If Megumi ended his character arc by using a complete domain expansion, and reaching Gojo's level of power wouldn't that be validating the way Gojo stole Megumi's entire childhood from him in order to make him a strong sorcerer. Wouldn't it look like the narrative was going, yeah, it was wrong for Gojo to groom Megumi like that, but look how strong it made him!

We already have a version of Megumi who learned to live only for himself, someone who broke the chains of fate and became entirely free.

Toji shows us a version of Megumi who lived up to his full potential as a sorcerer, became someone strong enough to threaten Satoru Gojo, and who put himself above everyone else and... Toji's fucking miserable.

Toji is the bad ending of Megumi. He's strong but that's all he is. The narration refers to him as a puppet of carnage, only living to fight the strongest around. In fact, Toji dies BECAUSE he wanted to feel validated as the strongest. The decision to say and fight against Gojo when Gojo unlocks reverse cursed technique leads to his death. Being the strongest and his desire to be validated as someone strong is nothing more than a curse for Toji and what allows him to escape the cycle is not strength, but rather seeing that his son has succesfully escaped the abuse of the Zen'in clan.

So having Megumi live up to his full potential as a sorcerer, or living selfishly the way that Gojo or Sukuna wanted him to wouldn't really be breaking the cycle, because it'd be Megumi acting the way his abusers wanted him to act. If anything it' be Gojo's long term grooming of Megumi finally succeeding.

I understand that Megumi fighting back on Sukuna from within with one use of ten shadows to create a puddle underneath Sukuna's feet isn't the most dramatic way to signal his journey of self-realization, but sometimes the flashy, dramatic, and satisfying thing isn't always the right thing.

if the central relationship of the series is Megumi and Yuji, and the central question of that relationship was "is it possible to save someone who doesn't want to be saved-" then resolving both Megumi and Yuji's character arcs requires answering that question. That's the most important part. How are we going to break the cycle and have Megumi and Yuji save each other in a way that Geto and Gojo weren't be able to.

Yes, I understand wanting Megumi to be his own person and stand on his own two feet, but before he's a person Megumi is a fictional character. Megumi and Yuji are characters intentionally designed to be each other's other half. The same way that Geto is designed to be the other half of Gojo. They both represent a yin / yang pair. They both represent the shadow and the light, the sun and the moon.

People also talk about wanting Gojo to learn to be his own person outside of Geto, but that's also missing the point. Gojo isn't a person to begin with he's a character designed to be the other half of Geto. All of those parallels that exist between them, both of them getting their bodies stolen from them, both of them becoming monsters (geto slaughtering the village, Gojo slaughtering the elders), both of them dying on the same day. Those are intentional, because they're fictional characters meant to represent the concept of yin and yang and balance. Gojo cannot exist without Geto, Geto's body causes Gojo to get boxed, Gojo dies within a year of killing Geto, because they're meant to represent the taoist concept of BALANCE in a manga that's about BALANCE. Gojo cannot achieve balance with the character that symbolizes his yin. Whereas, Megumi's way of achieving balance is to find a way to make things work with his other half Yuji in a way that Geto and Gojo failed to.

As someone who used to be the biggest Megumi Corruption Arc truther, I've come around in my thinking and I can at least understand why Gege didn't go that direction. Megumi learning to be selfish like Gojo would be changing too much of Megumi's inner nature, because as much as Megumi pretends to be selfish as an excuse he still is someone who wants to help people.

There's nothing wrong with Megumi wanting to help people, or wanting to be a team player. It was Megumi deciding to hinge his entire self worth on just his ability to help one person. It's why he couldn't go on when Tsumiki died, not just because he was grieving his sister, but because he decided to make protecting his sister his entire reason to live and genuinely saw no other reason to keep on living.

A lot of people say that Megumi is just deciding to make Yuji into an emotional crutch the same way he once did with Tsumiki, however, I don't think these lines of dialogue really indicate that.

"The world is full of people besides myself. Once more I think I'll live for others."

To begin with, Megumi says that the world is filled with lots of people. Megumi didn't want to go on because he didn't think he'd ever love someone as much as he loved his sister. That there was nothing in the world worth living for if his sister was gone.

However, now Megumi is acknowledging that there are more people in the world than just Tsumiki. That he might come to love them the same way that he loved her. That he shouldn't give up on life just because he lost one person, no matter how important that person was.

Megumi's words run contrary to the idea that he's just going to use Yuji as his next living emotional crutch, because he says the world is full of people. There's more people than just him, there's more people than just Yuji, as long as Megumi makes the choice to continue living then he can go out into the world and meet them.

Jujutsu Kaisen is a very individualist manga, and I understand we also exist in an individualist society so we want to see Megumi stand on his own two feet and live for himself, but I don't think Megumi deciding he'll live for others is a bad thing. This is just a few chapters after Yuji said that what makes life meaningful is the memories you leave behind with other people. Which is the exact same sentiment.

Yuji is able to break free from the cog mindset when he realizes that all the people he connected to in his life gave his life meaning, even if they died tragically, even if he only knew them for a short time. Choso's final words are "Thank you for being my little brother" and that connection was incredibly important even though they only knew each other for about a month. Yuji's life became meaningful because he went out into the world and made all these important connections.

Now Megumi is doing the same thing. He's resolved that even though his sister is dead the world is full of people he can connect with. That he can come to love other people the same way that he did. That his life is still worth living because he can find new people to love. Is Megumi deciding he can try to live for the other people in his life and his connection to those people even after the loss of his sister made him feel like his life is worthless and he'll never love anybody that way again, really that different from Yuji deciding that the people he made connections too gave his life value?

Jujutsu Kaisen lifts from other manga, this is pretty common knowledge. Killua and Shinji Ikari are probably the two biggest inspirations for Megumi and both are two very passive characters who are entirely reactive. They don't decide, they don't act, they react to the decisions of people around him.

Killua's ultimate moment of character development isn't beating his abusive big brother, or his abusive parents in a physical fight after getting a power up. Killua's greatest moment of character development is accepting Nanika as a part of Alluka. Something he was too afraid to do because it would mean that his family would continue to try to exploit Alluka for her wish granting abilities.

Killua finishes his arc with the resolution to protect both Alluka and Nanika from the rest of his family. Considering that Killua has been centering his entire self worth around his usefulness to Gon by this point you could call it Killua is just replacing Alluka with Gon as a crutch if you were cynical. Or you could just say that Killua, like Megumi is someone who lives for their loved ones and finds value in the bonds he makes with other people.

Shinji Ikari spends the entire 26 episode run of Neon Genesis Evangelion not making a single decision, and his final moment of character development isn't really that much character development. He simply makes the decision to reject instrumentality and try again. To go back to the real world and try to be a person in the world again, because as long as you're alive there's still a chance to be happy.

Megumi like Killua, never really changes. It's in Megumi and Killua's nature to be a protector / a nurturer. They want to take care of the loved ones in their lives. Megumi and Shinji both have an arc where it takes the entire anime / manga to take the very first step. Their arc is there to depict how hard it can be to take that first step on the journey to change when you're as traumatized as someone like Shinji or Megumi.

Megumi's arc especially is about him making his very first decision in the whole manga. As I said the central question of Megumi and Yuji's relationship is can you save someone who doesn't want to be saved and Yuji eventually finds you that you can't.

Yuji's greatest moment of character development and empathy for Fushiguro is realizing he can't force savlation on Fushiguro if Megumi doesn't want it. He can't force Megumi to live. He can't just tell Megumi to be stronger.

In doing so Yuji does something that no one has ever done to Megumi in his life, and offered him a choice. Gojo expected Megumi to be as strong as him and saw him as a mini-gojo never once taking his opinion into the matter. As I said above Gojo sees being strong as the soliution to all of life's problems. His adivce to Megumi was don't be weak, otherwise you'll be left behind.

Yuji allows Megumi to be weak. He says that Megumi doesn't have to be strong and suck it all up. The metaphor of Yuji and his grandfather works well to show how Yuji truly understood Megumi in a way Gojo never did. Gojo expected Megumi to be as strong as him. Gojo encouraged Megumi to grow up into another Gojo. Gojo failed to understand Megumi in many ways because he wasn't Gojo, and enjoy Jujutsu and being a sorcerer the way that Gojo did.

Yuji relates the story of his grandfather rejecting chemo treatment. At the time he didn't understand why his father would refuse the treatment just because it was painful, because Yuji being young would have been very easily able to handle the pain. However, after Yuji went through trauma and started dealing with suicidal ideation in the aftermath of Shibuya he understood why some people wouldn't want to keep fighting.

Yuji knows what it's like to be weak and want to give up so he doesn't want to force Megumi to be strong. Gojo projected himself onto Megumi and expected Megumi to always be strong and to love Jujutsu like he did, and didn't understand the ways Megumi was different than him. Yuji on the other hand accepted Megumi for who he was with those words, even though Megumi was weak and didn't want to continue living Yuji didn't crticize him he accepted that Megumi was different from him. He accepted the fact he didn't really understand Megumi's pain. He validated Megumi's pain and didn't try to dismiss it.

This parallel to Gojo and Megumi's first meeting is so important, because Gojo showed up in that child's life only to exploit him. While Yuji gave Megumi a choice. Even if it meant that Yuji would be lonely and heartbroken, he still gave Megumi a choice on whether or not he wanted to live.

In the end Yuji gave Megumi a choice, and Megumi made that choice to keep living. Just like Shinji, Megumi's entire character arc was just leading him up to taking the first step on his journey. Just like Shinji, Megumi's entire arc is defined by his choices being taken away from him but the very first choice he makes is his most important one: the choice to live.

So yes, a Megumi corruption arc would have been really cool but I think the answer of "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, but you can still love them" is a beautiful one.

[teacupcollector]

A Helping Hand: Chapter 8

The Last of Us Masterlist Series Masterlist

A/N: Hello! I haven't updated this story in a long time! When I heard about the show I thought I might post. A/N: About the show. I have no way in watching it so this series will only be based on the games. I hope you understand. Summary: As a woman who is pregnant you are doing anything if it means survival. Even so you found yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time, or was it the other way around? Now you are in the community of Jackson and you can’t help but attract a certain pair of hazel eyes.

Joel stared at you in the early hours of the morning. After last nights events he gave you a bath, lit some candles, and tried to make it as comfortable as possible. He made sure to give you enough love and reassurance through his actions where his words would be lacking. He hopes you know that you are the only one he wants. So as the sun comes over the horizon, the sun caressing you beautiful (Skin Color) skin memorizing the smooth and bumpy edges. Feeling the fine hairs that are along your arms and face. You opted to sleep naked that night, so now  he could see the plains of skin by just moving the blanket. Which he does, but not for something sexual. More for seeing how beautiful you look. He looks down at your swollen belly and runs his callused hands along your stomach. He scoots lower into the bed and places kisses on it. He feels the baby kick against his lips. He chuckles quietly.

"Shh... Mommy is sleeping." He whispers before planting more kisses along your stomach.

He looks up to see if you are awaken by his movements and is glad to see that you aren't. He places one final kiss at where he assumes the head of you- our child would be. 'Yes... I consider them my own...' He thinks to himself happily 'But would Y/N be okay with that?'. He gets up from the bed as gently as he can without jostling you awake. He quietly exits the room and shuts the door. He groans slightly as he heads down the stairs. He feels his stiffness leave as he is finally at the bottom of the steps. He decides to make you breakfast. Luckily, he got eggs a few days ago as well as some bacon. He hopes you like that. There is no juice unfortunately, but he is sure some water will suffice. He needs to make sure that both items are cooked thoroughly, but he hopes he makes it there in time to serve you breakfast in bed. As he is cooking he hears the back door open. 

"Ellie?" He asks and he here a small 'yeah' In response.

Ellie walks around the corner and leans against it. She is silent for a moment before looking in the direction of the stairs. She speaks. "How is she?"

"Had a bit of a rough night, but she is doing well I hope." He says as he sets on of the pieces of bacon on a napkin and scoots it toward her on the counter.

"And the baby?" She asks and he nods. "As far as I know yes. She has an appointment tomorrow." He says.

"Good, good..." She says quietly. Joel sighs as he finishes the bacon and moves on to the eggs. "I uh... I never really got your opinion before moving her in. I am sorry if it is an inconvenience for you."

Ellie's eyes widen. "N-No it isn't! It's completely fine... Keeps you off my back." She mumbles the last part. 

Joel laughs in response. "Yeah I guess it does..." He sighs again as he begins to scramble the eggs.  "I know you can take care of yourself. I just- I don't know. I want you safe." 

Ellie nods. "I know, but I'm fine okay?" Joel nods in response. 

Ellie leans over and takes the piece of bacon. "If you uh. If you ever need help when it comes to her and the baby. Let me know." She says and Joel chuckles.

"I think you would make a great big sister." Ellie turns to walk out the door but pauses at that statement. 

"I prefer the cool aunt." She says with a slight smile. 

Joel smiles back. "Cool aunt it is." He says and turns back to the eggs allowing Ellie to leave the conversation if she wants to.

Ellie does indeed leave but Joel is still smiling to himself. Progress was definitely made. Another blessing you seem to bring. He finishes the eggs and scoops them on to a plate before getting a bottle of water. He makes his way up the stairs and into the bedroom after figuring a way to open the door. As he opens it he sees you close your eyes quickly. He lets out a quiet chuckle. He walks over to your side of the bed and sets the food and the water bottle on the side table. He then sits at the edge of the bed. He can tell you are awake because of how forced your breath is being by attempting to make them even. He leans down as if to kiss you but moves over to your right ear. 

"I know you are awake (Y/N)." He says with a chuckle.

"No I'm not..." he hears you groan. "My eyes are closed so that means I'm asleep..." You mumble

"Then I'm guessing you don't want any of the bacon I made? I guess I could Ju-" He begins to reach over toward the plate when your hand catches his wrist.

"Mine..." You mumble. 

Joel chuckles and kisses your cheek before helping you sit up. "Now I know you like balancing things on your stomach, but the plate is hot okay?" 

You hum before placing the blanket over your stomach and bring the plate up to your mouth. "Make sure you drink some water okay?" He asks and you nod. 

He goes to stand up and walk over to his closet when you stop him. "Joel?"

"Yes?" He asks as he takes off his night shirt and begins to put one of his many flannels on.

"I want to apolo-" "There ain't no need for apologies. You had every right to worry." He says as he walks over and sits on the bed again.

"Just promise me that if and when you begin to have these thoughts that you talk to me alright?" He says and you smile and nod.

He places a kiss on your forehead before going back to his closet and getting some pants as well. He can feel your eyes on him and he chuckles.

"Whatcha starin' at?" He asks and you giggle at being caught in the act.

"I like your butt. Look forward to smacking and grabbing at it." You says with a maniacal laugh.

Joel's face flushes but he laughs as well as he pulls his jeans up.

"After breakfast do ya want to go for a walk?" He asks and you hum in response. "Mhm!"

Joel smiles before walking over to you and sitting down once again taking the plate from you. You begin to pout but he immediately begins feeding you.

"I'm pregnant Joel... Not disabled." You say with a blush. "Let me take care of my loves." He says as he feeds you a piece of bacon.

You snatch it out of his hand using your teeth before bumping it into his mouth. He chuckles before taking a bite of the opposite end, tearing a piece off before chewing and swallowing. "Let's keep the lady and the tramp stuff for spaghetti." He says with a chuckle. 

After breakfast he helps you get dressed and head out toward the direction of the square. "Now you tell me if you start gettin' tired we ca-" "Baby I'll let you know I promise. Now come on we need more groceries and I need to talk to Maria about a position in teaching. " You say with a smile

"You want to teach?" He asks and you nod.

"I guess she thought I would be a perfect fit, but I'd obviously wait until our little one is old enough to hold their head up. 

Joel pauses mid-step. "Ours?" He asks and this makes you pause.

"Oh shit... I'm sorry... I just assumed that it would be okay! I mean especially after last night! If you ar-" Joel cuts you off by placing a hand on your cheek.

His thumb caresses the apple of your cheek with a small smile. "I wasn't sure about it... About where we stand right now, but if you consider me apart of his life. You consider him mine as well as yours. Just know that... Just know that I am never letting you go."

Your eyes fill with tears. "They were yours the moment you kissed me a week ago... Possibly even before that... But of course we weren't together yet so I didn't want to push that on you." You say with a giggle.

Joel goes to reach in his pocket when you spot Maria. "Oh there she is! I'll meet up with you after I talk to her!" You quickly kiss him on the cheek before moving toward her.

Joel sighs before removing his hand from his pocket. The weight of the box is unbearable.

'Jesus Christ Joel... You have only been together for a week and you already have a ring... I'm moving to fast...'

Joel sighs and moves toward the market going into his other pocket to get the list of items. As he is doing that he hears someone call out to him. He looks up and sees Tommy jogging in his direction.

"Man what are you doing out here?" Tommy asks and Joel looks confused. "What?" He asks.

"Claire is hell bent on finding you Joel. I assumed you'd like to stay hidden." Tommy says and Joel sighs.

"Man I guess some things never change." Joel sighs as he glances over the list.

"How is Y/N? Did you uh... Did you tell her about Claire?" Tommy asks and Joel nods.

"Yeah, Yeah, I did. It wasn't exactly a fun conversation, but we are still holding strong." Joel says as his face grows from a frown  to a smile.

"You propose yet?" Tommy asks and Joel's eyes widen. 

"I-I um. I was thinkin' and it might be to soon." "To soon? You guys have been together for what? Three months? T-"

"We haven' been officially together for that long... I don't want her to  feel pressured..." Joel says as he becomes bashful.

"Didn't you say you didn't want to waste any more time?" Tommy asks and Joel nods.

"I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that she chose an old man to love... Now she considers her child to be ours. I don't know how to feel. But The feelings I do have are that I am insanely happy." Tommy's face turns into a full blown toothy smile.

"She is absolutely in love with you brother. I don't think she would have the ability to say no to you." Tommy says with a smile before looking over his brothers shoulder. He frowns.

"Shit, I'll run interference and give you time to get away... I'll talk to you later." Tommy says before walking away and toward to whom Joel assumed to be Claire.

'She is going to find me sooner or later... I don't know what I am going to say...' Joel thinks to himself as he continues to the market with the list in hand.

Taglist:

@gnoccey @zeida

[sugarywishes]

In your AU, what do you think originally made William do what he did? And more pressingly, how did his motivations and goals change over time, as he got spring locked and eventually burned later on? I am very curious, especially with all the different interpretations around. And I wonder if it was a small thing at worse made worse by Evan's and/or Elizabeth's deaths, or if he was long gone even before they occurred...

May I just say, I absolutely love every question you throw at me, it gives me time to flesh out my rewrite of FNAF a lot and I really appreciate it! Answer below as usual. Also I guess, spoilers for my rewrite?? (As if I haven't been constantly yapping about this)

His original motivation was indeed Evan. He was his most treasured valuable, and losing him was horrible for everyone, and also having your family slandered by everyone in the community and getting fired made things even worse. It made William become more unhinged than he's ever been before, and he kills Charlie as a result (it was accidental drunk rage)

Anyways he totally freaks out at this and drives away before anyone could see him. He tried his best to forget abt it and avoid the restaurant and Henry but he went back to the location eventually to take cash (cause yk he doesn't have money so he resorted to steal some because Henry never took Will's keys, and also he didn't change the locks) and then he notices something off about the puppet animatronic, it seems almost too alive. Out of curiosity, he checks the old Golden suits in the back and sees that Fredbear's suit seems weirdly twitchy for being inanimate. And he notices that a weird dark ooze spills out of the robots so he takes some of it to investigate more in his basement

Some library scouring here, some personal experiments here and he dubs the substance Remnant and deduced that maybe enough of this could maybe bring Evan back to life (so his plan was to pull a Victor Frankenstein, holy shit) so he originally killed the MCI to collect more remnant to eventually use for Evan's corpse to hopefully bring him back, it successfully brought back a rat he was testing (but he failed to see that the rat kept decaying even when it was still 'alive') So who's to say that Evan just wouldn't become some sort of zombie or something?

But he starts getting a little too into the killing children thing. When he killed the first three, he did it out of a necessity and didn't really have any feelings when doing so. But after Fritz and Cassidy he started to enjoy it (and as i said in the Cassidy post he didn't have to kill her but he did because he wanted to) it was the first time he's felt joy since before Evan's death. It actually kind of grossed him out, so for a while, he stopped killing. (Internal conflicts, he'll eventually completely embrace this horrible part of him, and also because it's to show that he could've just not done that but yk thats the consequences of his actions so...) But he still thought it wasn't enough remnant (it's an excuse for him to keep killing!)

But as I said before he likes doing things the easy way, and he thought maybe if I make robots to kill kids I just get remnant faster and uh oh. Liz dies. And he doesn't really like the fact that the children that he does tolerate somewhat keep dying so he ditches that idea. It also makes him even more crazy!

This moment kinda awakens a fear of death in him (as if he hasn't been surrounded by death by KILLING KIDS) so now he starts killing the DCI/KCI kids to get some remnant for himself (and also cause he likes killing kids) to live longer to 'keep working on his Evan project' (which he has been sidelining), then yk then he dies. And in my other posts I said he doesn't remember much of anything in his human life when he becomes Springtrap, so in his memories he killed kids just cause he thought it was fun and he wanted to be immortal. Same thing applies to Scraptrap and Glitchtrap (at least until he sees Gregory and it awakens the locked away memories he had of his family, but that's a story for another time!)

He's always had the potential to be evil (as it think everyone has that) but it took a while for him to fully become the monster he is deep down. Or something like that idk how to sound cool in text lmao

[waeirfaahl]

Another random thoughts about the behavior of the fallen fragment

Okay, although I many times discussed about many aspects of Aku and the place of his birth (the fallen fragment aka the black lake aka the bowels of hate etc), there's still something what I manage to notice during rewatching.

Plus, in this post I kinda will discuss some conclusions that probably were widely accepted. At least, back in 2016 (I guess) I heard some of these theories. I never cared about fan-theories, but I heard about them and was confused.

My personal thoughts I already mentioned here, here, here, for example, and explained some "unusual" elements from basic biology perspective, but in summary — the large black creature was killed by three gods, its the almost-dead fragment fell on Earth and lived in the one specific area, and it hated intruders (humans, of course), so it drowned and devoured them (if they don't run away from its territory), also using large spikes as a defensive tool against these intruders, and after Emperor used to "destroy the evil" some unexplained poison, it instead gave the life to Aku. And his behavior after birth and awakening (and also the fact that he has no idea about the three alien gods and their weapons that killed Aku's ancestor, and Aku never mentions that he fought them in the past etc — and these aspects debunk the overcomplicated bullsh*t like "Aku is a reborn version of the black entity or he was this black entity, the arrow just gave to him the form/face/personality/mind" that was never even hinted in the show at all) confirm that Aku is the new creature, the accidental creation of Emperor. Some people can argue like "But he said that the poisoned arrow sat him free!". Well, from what I know, the line "to set free" also often can be used in metaphorical way (in this case "to give the life and freedom").

Plus, if Aku allegedly "was released" from some "prison", what was holding him back in the black lake? It was literally the fragment, the part of the large black entity, so where's the logic? The fragment simply fell on Earth and... just existed in one specific area, it didn't grow and didn't devour the planet. The three alien gods don't mention that "the evil became free" or whatever (and if the alien gods killed the large black creature, why they would ever imprison its tiny shred instead of killing? or why would they ever imprison this thing on Earth instead of some deep areas of space, how it happened with Cronus?).

Plus, if Aku allegedly was imprisoned all this time, why he was able to create big spikes (also what's the point to create this defensive "spiky forest", if "nothing can harm him"?) and to dry out everything around him (and even far from him) instead of being harmless small black puddle or tree?

Same thing with the three gods' words "The Evil has ressurrected in your world" or whatever — if it was dead previously all this time, why it was able to create spikes? And why the solar eclipses, that clearly happened million times during these centuries, had absolutely no effect on him? They simply don't consider Aku as a separate living being, only as a "shred of evil/darkness". And if Aku existed all this time and allegedly was imprisoned, what's the point to kill Emperor's army, if "nothing can harm him", so Aku still could kill them all easy after jumping out of the black lake? Or why he never tried to speak with humans and to ask them to help him to become free from this? Like, he could simply "write" on the ground or with using spikes something like "I'm sorry for the ruined lawn, help me please, and I'll remove these scary thorns! I'm a human/kind forest spirit, who was trapped here! Help me!". Plus, if the black lake had goal exactly to eat everything — more sense to hide spikes and all "creepy" traits and to pretend to be something more or less harmless. Like, just to hide under the ground or grass, waiting the prey (humans), and to drown and to devour them all of them during the night, again hiding under the grass and the ground. That's also why I think that the black lake simply wanted to be left alone and hated stubborn humans, which still wanted to live near this dangerous thing on its territory. The thing that caused this post is the one specific shot in 5 season. Although "Birth of Evil" dilogy and 1 episode 1 season demonstrated rivers near Jack's kingdom,

5 season makes the huge blooper — for some reason the river goes toward the wasteland with the black lake. For some reason... Not to mention that the design of the castle in Jack's flashback in 9 episode of 5 season is actually the design of the castle in "The Birth of Evil", i.e. in 1 episode of 1 season the castle had different design...

But this aspect gave me some thoughts. Since there is a river here, and since people lived here, they also obviously made wells to get drinking water.

The fragment created both these defensive spikes, and in the cracks it created there was also liquid blackness (which dried up and burned everything in its path in the canon of the classic seasons, as well as Aku himself is deadly poisonous creature with petroleum-acidic blood in the classic seasons) — that means that blackness could get into both the river and drinking wells. Of course, it didn't, but let's assume and imagine the possibility of this. First of all, if Aku allegedly existed before the poisoned arrow and just tried to free himself, then… it would be beneficial for him then to ensure that his tiny black parts from the black lake got into the water in the river and wells, and some human drank the black blood and became infected with Aku's blood and was completely consumed by Aku's blood — that's your long-awaited freedom! The tiny part has been freed and will soon be able to free the rest of the black lake.

No problems and restrictions! Only sharp mind! And second, certain aspects also debunk the bullsh*t from 5 season such as the cult or "a female human birthed hybrids from demonic blood" or "a human drank the demonic blood, somehow survived after this and got its power". If you want to read, how I roast and destroy this bullsh*t from 5 season, read here and here, now I'll mention the new aspects. If we keep in mind the idea of "the black essense could go into rivers or wells during these centuries", then by the logic of 5 season, even before Aku was born, this whole area would be teeming with hybrid mutants, born of mortals (animals and women), who accidentally drank this stuff from rivers or wells, or they would just be people with demonic power, whom the black lake would not perceive as a threat that needs to be eliminated — or the black lake even would controll all of them. So, yeah, that's how 5 season breaks the logic and the canon of the classic seasons.

I guess, Aku needs a vacation to relax. Because now he is like Nick Wild after Judy caught him for felony tax evasions... P.S. (UPD) I also can not for the life of me understand, where "Aku became sentient" fan-theory comes from. It has no hints in the show, Aku's behavior debunks this theory, it contradicts thematically to "Wanted to kill, but the poison did the opposite thing, i.e. gave the life" (and it makes zero sense then to name the dilogy as "The Birth of Evil"), as well as, again, Aku has NO memories about the three alien gods and their weapons. Not to mention that the giant creature already took various forms and could make hands etc (the scene in the space as an example), so it could take any animalistic form and leave the valley/wasteland or banish humans, simply chasing and scaring them. And the most subtle detail as a proof — the black entity and the fragment perfectly saw everything around them —then why on Earth Aku would be with closed eyes and felt uncomfortable due to the brightness, so he called clouds to make sun light softer and less bright, if he allegedly was the fragment or the black entity? Aku is a separate and the new creature. Hence Aku was born exactly due to the poisoned arrow. Period.

[pencil-peach]

G Witch Onscreen Text: Episode 5

Part SEIS of my attempt to transcribe and discuss all the text that appears on screens and tablets in G Witch, because I got that dog in me! This is episode 5, "Reflection in an Icy Eye"

<< Episode 4, if you so dare.

Till and Suletta Boiled Eggs Indulgence.

Shall we begin?

TEXT: WINNER PILOTING DEPARTMENT KP003 ELAN CERES F/D-19 ZOWORT 7 WINS 0 LOSS 0 TIE

At the end of Elan's 3 v 1 duel, we get a look at the Zoworts ID and the fact that he has 7 wins and no losses.

When Bel is speaking to the Peil witches, we get another look at Aerial's profile. What's new here are the terms on the bottom right, those being

PMET LINK PMET SUBLINK BIOINFO LINK PILOT DATA LINK MS DATA LINK INTEGRATED PMET LINK

I could not tell you what any of these mean, BUT I have recorded them for convenience.

The text on Nuno's tablet is very difficult to make out, but we can for sure read CONTROL SYSTEM on the header at the top, so we know that's what he's looking at here. I'll give my best guess as to what the 3 sub-headers say, from top to bottom.

I-MSEACTRL-SYS I-MSEECTRL-SYS 5011-ONCODE

If my transcription is right, the first two are probably meant to be read as something like I - MOBILE SUIT [EA/EE] CONTROL SYSTEM

I'm not as confident in the bottom one though, i think i have ONCODE correctly but I'm not sure if the first half is really 5011, which would be Aerial's Permet Code ID. But it's the only interpretation that makes sense to me because I can only read it otherwise as SETH-ONCODE. And I have my doubts about that one.

Some broader looks at Aliya's divination table

Of course, everyone and their mother would tell you this, but Aliyah points to the stone that landed on the Roman Numeral for 12, wondering if it represents 'a brother' of Suletta's. This is foreshadowing the Eri reveal, as Aerial + the Eri clones that pilot each one of its GUND Bits adds up to 12, meaning Suletta has 12 sisters.

Of course, the stone in the middle represents her mother, and Aliyah comments that it's very big.

I can't help but wonder if Miorine is represented somewhere here as well?

This scene is where we finally get to see the title of the book Elan is reading. As I stated before, this book is The World as Will and Representation (Translated in the show proper as The World as Will and Idea) by Arthur Schopenhauer. The importance of this book to understanding Elan's character cannot be overstated, and it's worthy of its own post, but simplified as far down as possible (and also acknowledging that I have yet to read the essay myself, it's long...I'll get to it though, I promise...)

The two most essential ideas of this work in their relation to Elan are that:

All human suffering and conflict is a result of the "Will" that exists within us: An ever striving force that pushes us to pursue our innermost desires.

In order to reduce the inherent pain and suffering that comes with life's cruelty, one can minimize their desires, and deny the force of their will.

In simpler terms, if you never desire anything from your life, even the idea of living itself, you will never be made to suffer from the lack of it.

From the shows beginning, we can see how Elan completely embodies this philosophy. He denies love, he denies his emotions, he never acts of his own accord, only following the orders he's been given by Bel and the Peil witches.

But that changes when he meets Suletta, because Suletta awakens within him one of his deepest desires. To find someone who is like him, someone who understands him.

But when he realizes that Suletta isn't an Enhanced Person, that he's still completely alone, he can't handle it.

Because he allowed himself to want for something, he invited suffering back into his life when it was something he was not allowed to have.

And now that he's opened his heart to desire, it's not something that can be closed. For the rest of our time with him, we see how this incident with Suletta has broken the spell. When he duels Guel, he tortures him. Shaddiq repeatedly acknowledges that there's been something different about him ever since he was with Suletta.

In the multiple scenes when Elan sees the candle of the birthday cake when he closes his eyes, the flame represents how his will has been relit. It's the flame of his desire. And despite his continued insistence that it doesn't exist, that he still doesn't want anything, doesn't need anything, the flame only keeps growing.

It sparks up when Suletta sings the birthday song to him.

And it all comes to a head during their duel. He immediately starts listing off the things Suletta has that he doesn't. Friends, family, a past and future, even hope. And laments that it's just not fair, demands to know why she can't let him have one thing.

When he fully accepts himself, and remembers the person who celebrated his birthday, he realizes that it was wrong to assume that he had nothing, and to continue to believe that he could never have anything.

But, tragically, in fully accepting his desire, he also had no choice but to accept the suffering that comes with it. And, well.

Yknow.

Anyway in this scene we can see the path that he wants Suletta to take in the testing sector.

We can see that Lauda's Dilanza is registered as such in Asticassia, and its ID code is MD-003 1L. Despite being registered as such, both Elan and Rouji refer to it as "Regolith" in this duel.

This is the Pharact's navigation system. At the bottom, the warning says: ALERT: MALFUNCTION JOINT SENSOR: ACTIVE MINOR DAMAGE FROM [???] STATIC ELECTRICITY.

We can see that the Pharact is showing that the static electricity is damaging its joints. This is where Elan gets the idea of how to defeat Guel.

TEXT: (top to bottom) ALERT DMG CTRL-SYS ON

MD-R-0099[?] RIGHT LEG - [???] DAMAGE

MD-O HEAT AXE - RECOVERED

This shows up on the display when Guel is hit by the Pharact's stun beams for the first time. Though my transcription might not be fully accurate, we can at least glean from this that mobile suit components seem to have their own internal codes used by their various systems. That's cool!

When Guel is immobilized by the static electricity, the warning on his screen reads ANAMOLY DETECTION

Bonus: When Guel first makes it through the stun lasers and approaches Elan, you can actually see the monitor start writing out "TARGET LOCKED" before cutting to the next scene.

They really must have had a whole team of people working on these UI elements and they REALLY gave it their all!

Anyway, that's all!! Sorry that this one kinda took a detour down the Elan train for a bit there! I always get carried away with these things...

Uhh as a reward.... hmm...

One time I saw Shaddiq referred to as "Malibu Sephiroth" and I've never been able to forget it. It's so real. God Damnit.

Click here to go to Episode 6! >>

Click here to go to the Masterpost!

[jeannefostergoriot]

The Prophecy x Sophie Foster

(How that, it’s my third analysis of the day?)

« Hand on the throttle, thought I caught lightning in a bottle »: she literally caught starlight as one of her first accomplishments. And then unending fire. Lightning here as a symbol of power. Fire as the fact that she is right.

« Oh, but it’s gone again »: but no one ever let her decide, she always have opposition, whether it’s the Council, the Black Swan, her bodyguards, even her friends, she has to argue. Power never stays hers.

« And it was written, I got cursed as Eve got bitten »: all her life was thought before her, her wars exists before her. She’s cursed from beginning to end.

« Oh, was it punishment? Pad around when I got home » is how she feels after every defeat, after every time she couldn’t keep things from going bad, every time Keefe left.

« I guess a lesser woman would’ve lost hope »: she is still a fighter. As of the end of Unlocked and Stellarlune, we see that awakening, and she starts to take pride in it.

« A greater woman wouldn’t beg »: she has yet no trust in herself. Almost no confidence. She isn’t as great as she could, thinks she.

« But I looked at the sky and said »: through the panakes branches, Sophie is looking at the sky every night, and she is begging.

« Please, I’ve been on my knees, change the prophecy »: everyday wishing, waiting for a change, hoping it could be easy for once.

« Don’t want money, just someone who wants my company » *look to Keefe*. And it’s not just someone, it’s peace, she wants peace by her side.

« Let it once be me… »: let her be just a normal teenager. She deserves it.

« Who do I have to speak to, about if they can redo, the prophecy? »: she’d bargain for so long. If she just knew who to address. She’d bargain for everything and if she’d get a rebuttal for peace for herself, she’d ask for her friends…

« Cards on the table, mine play out like fools in a fable, oh » is about how she’s feeling about the fact that the Neverseen always seem so much further in their plans and their attacks. Like they always know what Sophie will do next.

« It was sinking in, slow in the quicksand »: the progressive realization over the four first books that she has, not only a whole world to discover, but secret organizations to deal with. And in background the fact she actually has to *stop* one.

(Also, yes, I thought of the access to Atlantis and the cover of book 6)

« Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand »: post Neverseen, post Unlocked. Even more Unlocked. Cause Keefe ran away, refused to stay, to be helped, and even if it’s not treason this time, it hurts. And she doesn’t know who to trust. She doesn’t know who she loves. She doesn’t know who she is.

« Oh still I dream of him ». Sophie, if you ever get sleep, we all know Runaway Boy is in your dreams.

« And I sound like an infant »: she prays, she hopes, she doesn’t want this place. But she gets remorse from this, calls herself an infant who has to grow up and stop complaining.

« Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen »: she’s alone. The story can’t continue without her, the ink has to be used, but she is terribly lonely and vulnerable. The last on Earth able to do something.

« A greater woman stays cool, but I howl like a wolf to the moon »: Sophie is over-achieving and going to burnout. That’s pretty clear. She has that idea in her mind of the greater woman she has to be. But she’s here, crying, praying, trying to go on, having panic attacks, insomnia, anxiety.

« And I look unstable ». She often looks very tired, it’s said multiple times. Also, at the beginning of Stellarlune, everyone looks at her like she’s crazy for the storehouse fire.

« Gathered with a coven at a sorceress’ table »: her coven is her friends, her team, all around her, doing planes. And the sorceress table is that magic thing Mr Forkle showed us with different views of places and options.

« A greater woman as faith, but even statues crumble »: that’s when she will realize she can actually be enough.

« If they’re made to wait »: and that’s the reason she starts burning. Fighting. Attacking. Cause she doesn’t want to crumble anymore.

« I’m so afraid I sealed my fate ». Sophie is thinking that constantly, about every decision she makes, wondering which one could be fatal.

« No sign of soulmates »: cause she’s unmatchable

« I’m just a paperweight »: useful, a little, but a weight, how she thinks.

« Spending my last coin so someone will tell me it’ll be ok »: she needs so much to hear it. And it’s not said enough in this series.

[raehs]

ALL VERSES. will be updating as needed.

i really just wanted to post this so there's less guessing with my verse details lol. will probably add more tonight. there's also like zero formatting here so i apologize for that.

era : SEQUELS.

arc : jakku.

pre - the force awakens. will only be taking place on jakku. age range : 14 - 19.

arc : the force awakens.

canon compliant. age : 20.

arc : the last jedi.

semi divergent but mostly canon compliant. rey is with luke for a lot longer than 3 days, possibly more like a few weeks to a few months, maybe a year at the MOST. ( which does alter the movie a bit but i see it as the fighting doesn't happen at the same time as rey's training + tfa doesn't directly lead to tlj, there's time between and tfo doesn't attack right away. rey shows up at the end with the falcon. ). kylo + rey also bond over the months. (: age : 21.

arc : between the last jedi + the rise of skywalker. [ resistance reborn ]

the few years between tlj + tros. there's 2-3, possibly more years between where rey studied under leia and also helped recruit people to the resistance. compliant with resistance reborn + spark of the resistance. age: 21-23/24. GO TO SEQUELS VERSE.

arc : the rise of skywalker.

divergent. anti romantic re/ylo. anti rey palpatine. anti rey burying lightsabers in sand, anti spice runner poe ... etc. major points happen. (personally would love to replace palpatine w/ snoke or smthin ...) there's also 2-3 years in between tlj and tros. heavy influence from dotf. age: 23-24.

arc : post - tros.

age : mid 20s. anything directly after the war ends. lots of rey traveling, learning, searching, adventuring. GO TO SEQUELS VERSE NO. 2.

arc : rebuilding.

quite a bit after the war. rey is also in the process of or already has started to rebuild the jedi, though she teaches in a new, different way. in their own way. age : late 20s - mid 30s.

verse : [ duel of the fates ]

based on the duel of the fates script. the main thing i get rid of is rey mind tricking poe + some other minor stuff. i'm damerey neutral (really depends on the writing partner). 10 years after tlj, early 30s. honestly i like this more than tr.os but i wanna remain sequels - characters friendly + people who haven't read the script. will only put things in here if i know you know the details!

verse : [ smuggler ]

rey takes the job offered to them by han solo and never crosses paths with kylo ren.

verse : [ sith ]

rey is in fact found by snoke / palpatine and raised in the dark. wasn't actually raised by that weirdo but people working for him, maybe raised by snoke lol. some mara jade vibes maybe (idk legends dont @ me ). her anger is twisted and turned into something that is used against her, as is her loneliness and need for a family.

era : PREQUELS / THE REPUBLIC / MOVING TIMELINE.

found on jakku in the care of unkar plutt as a child (though born on hyberkarn -- her parents were being hunted by mercenaries and left rey in the car of plutt, but they died and never came back for her), rey is found by the jedi and brought to the temple. she's named kira by the jedi who found her, as plutt only referred to her as 'child' and 'girl'. she chooses rey as her names. she struggles with a fair amount of jedi things, as they're naturally a more aggressive and angry person, and struggle with being consumed by her attachments.

01 : rey is taken on as a padawan during the very beginning of the clone wars / prior to the clone wars / prequels era. she's at the front lines with her jedi master, who's very jaded at this point in his career but he pushes her hard to make sure she can survive the war and what happens after it. they took some time to warm up to each other but end up having a very close bond. (': [ also have an option for her to be obi-wan's padawan, or someone elses with plotting <3 i think she'd also be good as plo koon's padawan. ] she's also given the title of commander, which she hated, feeling that she didn't do as much as the clones who deserve it more than her. age range : 14 - 21.

02 : a slightly older rey goes through the clone wars as a jedi knight. she's a general with her own battalion and puts her everything in keeping her men alive. (': early - mid 20s. GO-TO PREQUELS VERSE.

era : EMPIRE / POST ORDER 66.

verse : [ order 66 survivor ]

01 : rey survives the purge as a padawan and only escapes because of her master. she escapes to an outer-rim planet and keeps her head down. she cuts off her padawan braid and puts her lightsaber away ... until the inquisitors (+ kylo) find her and she has to go on the run and constantly move. she's 14-16ish during order 66 but the verse spans 10+ years, or until she joins the rebellion. GO-TO POST ORDER 66 VERSE.

02 : rey survives as a jedi knight. dependent on the timeframe but is around mid 20s when order 66 happens. mid 20s - mid 30s.

verse : [ inquisitor ]

rey is turned to the darkside by the inquisitors and from feeling everyone she loved die. she's a ghost of a person, barely there, fueled entirely by anger and hate. but she starts to come back to herself. also her hair is white. 20s.

verse : [ rebel pilot ]

01 : very similar to the force awakens! from jakku, rey gets mixed up with a " rebel fighter " and they have to get off jakku due to being chased by imperials. bb-8 also needs to get to the rebellion because she has a list of rebel cells + people who are secretly working for the rebellion. no specific time frame, can be in the beginning of the rebellion or more aligned with a new hope / rebels. 19+.

02 : former padawan rey joins the rebellion as a pilot. around the age of hera + kanan. late 20s - early 30s. GO-TO EMPIRE VERSE.

verse : [ force shenanigans ]

basically the star wars holiday special but less ... chaotic? rey ends up traveling to any era of star wars due to a crystal that can travel through time. can take place after tr.os or any other point of time. mid 20s.

ERA : ANY.

verse : [ scavenger ]

basically just. rey is a scavenger on jakku and completely content in never leaving. -- this is not the same as the jakku verse, as that one is specifically pre - tfa. this one is for any era of star wars and / or rey never makes it off of jakku with finn and bb-8. 19+.

CROSSOVERS.

verse : [ avatar: the last airbender ]

takes place at any point of time in the atla universe (pref. during the original show or legend of korra), but rey is descended from air nomads. her father was earth + air but was a non-bender, while her mother was strictly from air nomads, but was also a non-bender. they found out rey was a bender when she was young and did their best to hide her.

WIP VERSES : supernatural ( werewolf / witch ), grishaverse, modern ( college ), modern ( archaeologist ), modern ( pilot ), superhero fandoms ( mutant ), multiverse ( any fandom ), bg3, general scifi ( star trek / dw / etc etc ), pjo ( child of zeus or apollo or hermes maybe ), mythology ( bia reborn ), misc fantasy, asoiaf, tinkerbell, winx club, royalty, green lantern, fallout, the 100, high republic (sw), mermaid au.

REQUEST ONLY.

verse : clan of three.

affiliated with @devoutgun.

found on jakku as a child, rey is adopted by din djarin when she's young. this verse can deal with rebuilding mandalore, rey being a member of clan mudhorn, rey finding out she's force sensitive at a much younger age, it's also likely that rey is taught by luke skywalker in the ways of the force alongside ben. -- events of the sequels can still take place but things are a bit different.

verse : rey skywalker. [ REQUEST PLS ]

rey (beru) is the lost child of luke skywalker who was kidnapped as a child in hopes of bringing her to palpatine. that never happened, and any leads their parents had to find them go cold. she picks a name for herself and believes one day her parents are coming back for her -- she doesn't grow up completely alone. force ghosts regularly visits her, teaches her things, reminds her that she isn't alone. tbh, this is very similar to regular verses so this is kinda specific to skywalkers but i’m open to writing in it with anyone. esp in combination with time travel.

verse : legacy of infinite sadness.

rey is the grandchild of obi-wan kenobi. specifics can be changed as i have multiple ideas. rey's story remains basically the same except that her grandfather is obi-wan ( doesn't have to be biological! can be force ghost adoption! ).

[hekateinhell]

Hi! I'm a show watcher that's been trying to get into the books. I have seen around that Armand vowed to never make a fledgling but broke this vow for Daniel. Why did he vow to never turn another person?

Hi! 🖤

Okay, just a head's up - there's no real way I can give a detailed answer without spoilers so save this for later if you'd like to avoid them for now!

Jumping in, Armand actually touches on this topic in TVA and gives a somewhat straightforward response:

I was a firm believer that those we make ourselves will always despise us for it. I cannot claim that I have never despised Marius, both for making me and never returning to me to assure me that he had survived the horrible fire created by the Roman Coven. I had sought Louis rather than create others.

Armand never wanted to create other vampires, which is really no surprise given how horrible most of his lived experience as a vampire had been.

He also seems to have a preference for communicating via the Mind Gift, almost as if comes easier to him than communicating verbally. When a vampire turns a human, it closes off their minds to each other forever — something Armand particularly emphasizes in his tirade to Lestat in TVL when he mentions 'the veil' aka 'veil of silence':

"Oh, but it's always a travesty, don't you see?" he [Armand] said with that same gentleness. "Each time the death and the awakening will ravage the mortal spirit, so that one will hate you for taking his life, another will run to excesses that you scorn. A third will emerge mad and raving, another a monster you cannot control. One will be jealous of your superiority, another shut you out." And here he shot his glance to Gabrielle again and half smiled. "And the veil will always come down between you. Make a legion. You will be, always and forever, alone!"

Armand will never be able to communicate with his fledglings the way he can Lestat and others besides his own maker.

And interestingly enough, Armand did accurately prophesize the outcomes of several of Lestat's fledglings over the next hundred years. Gabrielle (shuts Lestat out); Nicki (goes mad); Louis (resents him); Claudia (need I say more?).

Even if Armand didn't have so much trauma from his own life and his maker abandoning him, I have to imagine bearing such close witness as to how the maker/fledgling dynamics played out for Lestat would be enough to make anyone second guess the whole idea. For Armand it must have served to reinforce every preconceived notion he had on the matter. He even said to Lestat:

"Remember that when your dark children strike out at you, when they rise up against you. Remember me."

And we have still to broach the final layer (in this post — dissecting the entire topic will end with me writing a dissertation and nobody wants that). But Armand was torn away from his maker at a very young age and he did spend the next three hundred years of his life in service of a Satanic cult, which was instrumental in shaping his perspective and driving home the belief that vampirism is the ultimate condemnation.

Yet in the centuries of his long obedience, Armand kept two secrets to himself. These were his property, these secrets, more purely his than the coffin in which he locked himself by day, or the few amulets he wore. The first was that no matter how great his loneliness, or how long the search for brothers and sisters in whom he might find some comfort, he never worked the Dark Trick himself. He wouldn't give that to Satan, no Child of Darkness made by him. ~ Lestat passing on Armand's story as it was told to him in TVL

In a way, I think it was the only measure of autonomy Armand felt he might have had during the cult years. He wouldn't give that to Satan! He wouldn't do that to another being!

And yet, eventually... he did.

And yes, Armand was different person by the end of Devil's Minion but it was obviously still a decision that pained him. One that he said he did out of loneliness but also love, and it's up to the reader to decide how hyperbolic Armand thought he was being when he tells Daniel as he's offering him the choice: "We'll be in hell together after all."

As an aside: it fascinates me how Armand and Lestat both suffered from this agonizing loneliness and yet they each approached it in entirely opposite ways.

[thebarontheabyss]

Hello, patrons! 👻

I'm currently busy working on the next part of chapter 4!

I'm also responding to some of the fantastic prompts and questions you've sent my way (and trying not to flood your Tumblr feed with too many posts at once, lol).

In the meantime, I wanted to share a bit about one of the songs I've quoted in the game– specifically, the one used in the opening lines: "Is That All There Is?" by Peggy Lee.

I first encountered this haunting song in 2013, during a visit to New York. A life-changing experience.

I attended the interactive play "Sleep No More," a surreal whirlwind of a show. There's this place built inside the enormous space where the play transpires, a bar - the Manderley Bar. There, one of the actors took my hand. He guided me to a table, then ascended the stage to perform "Is That All There Is?" His gaze never left mine throughout the entire song. My heart thundered in my chest – my very first gay experience.

The performance didn't end there. Afterward, he pulled me into a phone boot, and, well, let's just say what followed was nothing short of a gay awakening.

Whenever I write about Peisinoe charming an audience member, my mind drifts back to that actor. The lyrics of "Is That All There Is?" carry a profound bleakness – a questioning of life's apparent meaninglessness. Yet, there's something in Peggy Lee's voice, a certain way she articulates the words, that breathes a paradoxical meaning into the void. It's the meaning found in meaninglessness, the beauty in existential contemplation.

I know what you must be saying to yourselves If that's the way she feels about it Why doesn't she just end it all? Oh, no, not me I'm not ready for that final disappointment

Because I know Just as well as I'm standing here talking to you That when that final moment comes And I'm breathing my last breat I'll be saying to myself

Is that all there is?

So, I guess, see you soon at the abyss! :D

[virtie333]

Let's talk Damerey.

I ended up being a VERY general fan during the SW sequels. Like...none of the ships bother me. FinnPoe? Fine. Damerey? Fine. Kylo and whomever, sure. I guess. I just want them to live and be happy.

Anyway, when did your Damerey journey start? I think I read at one point they had thought about making Poe and Rey a thing? But I guess the visions of the differing directors didn't allow for it? Did I make that up in my head?

I understand the appeal of that ship as well as FinnPoe or whatever it's called. I mean, it's Poe, so who wouldn't be obsessed lol

Anyway, thoughts?

Also, do you like to stick to Damerey fics for Poe or do you also like xreader with Poe?

Oh, boy. This might take a while.

I can honestly say I've been Damerey a lot longer than I've been a fan of Oscar Isaac. I became Damerey right after The Force Awakens. But here's the thing, I was Reylo, too. What? Okay, let me explain. I love the 'good girl falls for bad boy' trope, but I've always been realistic about it; the bad boy can't be horrible bad and has to become good eventually. I loved the idea of Rey bringing Ben back from the Dark Side, but... what he did to his father (my first love and still the one I compare to all other crushes) is unforgivable. I knew Ben Solo would NOT have a happy ending. Therefore, Rey needed to have her happily ever after with someone else. Finn or Poe? I loved them both, but I do have a thing for pilots, so I chose Poe.

The Last Jedi only increased my interest in both ships. The connection between Rey and Ben was fascinating. But... that last scene between Rey and Poe? I remember commenting to my brother after our first viewing, "They have to be planning something between them after that! Right?"

I went into the last movie wondering which way (if either) they were going to take it. I told myself I would be happy with either, and even if Rey chose no one; after all, she doesn't need a man to make her happy. But I am a hopeless romantic. After the first argument between Poe and Rey, where I nudged my brother (who I saw all 3 movies with) and said "They're just like Han and Leia!", I had hopes.

But... they failed to continue with that bright start. And with the kiss between Ben and Rey at the end, I was pretty much resolved to settle for Reylo. And that was my focus for the first couple of month after the movie. But then something strange happened. A fellow Reylo fan, who had defended the first two movies despite all the hate going on, started bemoaning how 'Rey would never be happy now,' and she 'would never get to have babies,' etc. etc. And that pissed me off. Big Time. She had options, dammit! She could stay single and raise Force sensitive orphans. She had Finn. And of course, she had Poe. So, I wrote Rising, my first fanfic in almost 20 years.

When the pandemic hit, and I ended up working part-time, I decided I needed to continue with this post-movie world I had created. I still had a soft spot for Ben, and it shows up in my early works, but I wanted to make Rey and Poe find their happily ever after. Then something else strange happened. In one of my stories, Kennera, I wrote a scene from Poe's POV. Suddenly, I wanted to know more about the actor who portrayed him. And I found this...

That was that. I was hooked on this man. I started watching everything I could with him in it. And I continued to write Damerey, falling more and more deeply into that ship. Reylo became less and less interesting to me, and now I could care less about it. Damerey is everything to me. And it's been that way for almost three years now. I just freaking love them with everything in me.

To answer your question about the ship almost becoming canon, yes it almost did. Colin Trevorrow's script The Duel of the Fates almost became the third movie, and it included a lot more Rey/Poe interaction, even a kiss or two. Some say it's why that scene at the end of The Last Jedi was added, to introduce that attraction. But alas, it didn't happen.

If you had asked me two years ago if I had read any Poe x Reader stories, I would have scoffed at you. I am a reader of novels and I write in the same style and always will, so why would I read that? But... I've read several amazing writers that write in that style since then, and I have become addicted. I know I will never write that way, but I will enjoy others.

I think the fact that I don't write that way is the reason why no one on Tumblr (other than a few trusted friends) ever reads and shares my stuff. It's a bit lonely sometimes, but it is what it is.

Damerey forever!

Art by @greysmartwolf

[geddy-leesbian]

hey look it's all my Serrennedy fic (note that I did not come up with tags for the AU's until making this post, meaning I have to go back to retroactively tag the posts I've made, which is going to take a while because tumblr's search is hot garbage.)

and also due to tumblr's search being garbage, searching my blog for my tags won't give you shit, but if you click to search all of tumblr instead, every post will show up. idk man, that's just how it is.

RE2 AU

started as a one-shot and then spiraled into a whole RE2 AU. the only thing I've written where things pretty much go right for them 💖 Leon isn't a government agent, Luis is a stay at home dad, and Claire and Luis lovingly bully Leon together.

tag: 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆.

How Do You Talk To Girls? (2/3 chapters posted)

❝Don Juan, eh? Always thought of myself as more of a Don Quixote, but if the shoe fits… How about we try some practice anyway? I can talk to you like I'd talk to a girl, give you a first-hand demonstration.❞ OR Leon tries to learn how to pick up women from Luis, and instead has a bisexual awakening and picks up Luis. Task Failed Successfully.

“𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝑰𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒖𝒅” (unpublished WIP)

Claire and Luis are getting married.

Something A Little More Plain

Not in the same continuity as the other two fics, but it is an RE2 AU, so I'm putting it here. Just really soft Luis being a dad to twins content. The only thing I've written about them that is just fluff and no angst.

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

Signals // Childhood Friend AU

playlist

tag: 【𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖽𝗈 𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀. 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙜𝙤.】

𝑇𝘩𝜀 𝛥𝜋𝛼𝑙𝜎𝑔 𝐾𝜄𝜕 (1988)

you move me, you move me. with your buildings and your eyes, autumn woods and winter skies. you call me, you call me.

»»————-💙————-««

somewhere out of a memory, of lighted streets on quiet nights… (1988)

»»————-💙————-««

ΠⴹⰞ Ⱎ⎕ᒥᒪᗪ ᎷᗅΠ (1988-2004)

he's old enough to know what’s right, but young enough not to choose it.

»»————-💙————-««

Digital Man // Open Secrets (2004) (1/? chapters posted)

Well I guess we all have these feelings we can’t leave unreconciled. Some of them burned on our ceilings, some of them learned as a child.

The things that we’re concealing will never let us grow. Time will do its healing, you’ve got to let it go.

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

BU2B (aka Leon Fucking Dies)

(2/3 chapters posted)

❝That Agent Kennedy is proving to be quite a thorn in my side, much like you. I need him to live long enough for him to appreciate his gift and go home and begin to spread it to the rest of the world, but he's starting to cause a little too much trouble. But still, it would be a shame to have to kill him. Such a 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦 it would be. If only there was some distraction to keep him occupied and out of trouble… You 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 him, don't you?❞ ❝This isn't about him. Say whatever you want about 𝘮𝘦, but keep 𝘩𝘪𝘴 name out of your mouth.❞ ❝But you'll want to hear this: He's quite fond of you too. He doesn't want to admit it, but I've been in his head. He likes it when you tease him. He 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘴 you. You could send him on wild goose chases over and over, and he'd just keep following you, until time ran out.❞

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

𝐌𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐫 (𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒍𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒓𝒆)

My very first Serrennedy fic,,, someday there will be a second chapter, but I have zero idea of when because I've been fighting demons tbh (by demons I mean various rough drafts because I can't figure out what the fuck to do with it. The ideas are there,,,,, but the execution is not 🫠)

Luis thinks he's a shitty person. Leon disagrees.

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

Other random stuff kicking around in my drafts (and feel free to ask about any of these because I love talking about them):

AU where Luis sabotages the Nemesis Project, gets caught, and sent to Rockfort Island.

Alfred Ashford notices that Luis was a child prodigy and thinks that's neat because he's a weirdo and Alexia was a child prodigy. So instead of being executed, Luis is forced to be his friend until Alexia wakes up from her cryo stasis thing. (And being his friend is not a good time, because he's a weirdo and threatens to get his sniper rifle and hunt down Luis for sport a lot.) Luis gets out when Claire does, and goes back to Valdelobos after to hide from Umbrella, meaning RE4 will still happen, although slightly different. Luis is much colder and very hesitant to help Leon, because trying to do the right thing previously got him sent to a concentration camp.

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

DON'T WALK AWAY

Songfic. While Leon and Ashley are waiting on a helicopter to come pick them up post-RE4, Luis tries to quietly slip away, because he thinks he's a shitty person who doesn't deserve to have Leon. Leon notices him trying to leave and says fuck that and argues with him, insisting that he will come with Leon.

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

Don't have a title yet, but a little thing where Leon gets a call from Chris right after he gets back from Spain. Chris says the BSAA has been conducting their own investigation into what happened, and they found someone ex-Umbrella they had been trying to track down for years severely injured, but alive while searching the place, who claims to know Leon and that Leon would vouch that he's a good person now.

[milfhandholder]

Grelliam hcs bcs I bully Will too much LMAO:

Grell "fell first" Sutcliff and William "FELL HARDER" T. Spears

I may be an OVA liker BUT to me, young Grell was so stubborn that her crush didn't exist, she bullied William for the first few years after their exams

Will didn't give a shit frankly but sometimes he'd reply with a deadpan joke and that made Grell go >:(

Older reapers and reapers their age will tell you that Grell is the scary one and Will's the nice one

Junior reapers (ESPECIALLY RON bcs although he loves both of them, he is very Grell-biased in the same way Anya is Loid's girl) will tell you the exact opposite

Young William was essentially young Grell's morality compass

Grell: I could skin him alive if I so please

William: that's horrible, please do not

It took a very long time for William to actually defrost the ice queen. She has ego issues, please be gentle 💔

And it took even longer for them to mutually admit that they like each other

WILLIAM GAVE HER THE ICONIC RED BOOTS WHEN SHE CAME OUT TO HIM, SEND MY MESSAGE TO THE MASSES HE ISN'T BIGOTED STOPPPPPPPPPP

He also gave her the red coat she wore in the German arc bcs ooooooh someone's jealous

Grell is the first girl he ever had a crush on

He is such a mess because he has ZERO (0) RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE

Grell's a little nervous in pursuing him because he's the first man she likes after a train of horrible men

Grelliam are The Power Couple of Dispatch. William is a natural at managing everything and everyone with utter ease, and everyone KNOWS Grell would kill God with her eyes closed if a case demanded it. I call them: The Prince and The Crimson Knight

Sometimes Grell is the big spoon because that's what she's used to and William is internally just going "holy FUCK"

Present day / post-'divorce' William literary has no idea how strong Grell is because (canonically) she loses in every fight against him because she likes him so much

William just thinks she's losing her touch but really it's just.....

Grell: I bestow you the highest honor I can give *loses in every fight against you so your ego gets boosted*

If he were to find out just how strong she is, he'd get turned on actually

William likes his women strong and capable

In a way, they're like each other's bi (re)awakening because William genuinely thought he couldn't be into girls (his type is women who could kill him) and Grell thought she was over men (her SUPERIOR type is men who she could kill)

William HATES pda (he's autistic like me so true) and genuinely feels bad that he can't give Grell what she wants but honestly, Grell's just happy READ MY FIC

So after reading all that, you're going to call me insane for this but they never dated (in my opinion).... stay with me here

They were basically "will they, won't they" to everyone else in Dispatch but to each other, I guess they were in a weird situationship?? Neither of them were in a hurry to make it official but they do enjoy each other's presence

Then came Grell going off with Madame and things got REALLY MESSY

Basically, Will found out and got PISSED because it was supposed to be the two of them against the world, as the paragons, but Grell had to throw that away for some girl

He didn't rat her out immediately because he still loves her and doesn't want her to get in trouble before something serious could be used as evidence

Also he basically helped lessened her sentence because he's soft for her, even if he wants to deny that

William is one of the few people who has seen her cry, other than Othello of course

He knows she has always put on a tough persona for everyone else because she doesn't like anyone knowing they got under her skin. It annoys him a bit because he's thinking "why can't you be honest with yourself? To me?"

And Grell absolutely hates how he knows a little too much about her. She doesn't show it or tell him, but it is something she internalizes a lot

William knows how much Grell likes and adores playing with children. He even called her out once when she told him she doesn't "do kids"

If they met each other in their human life, I believe they either would've gotten married secretly eventually or hate each other and thought nothing more of it

Grell's thumb is literally more artistic than Will could ever be so he looks up to her (secretly) in that regard

I think a younger Grell had told William some bits of her life, especially her ex wife (that I mentioned once or twice before) and the first man she ever liked. I imagine William not being insecure about it because he's like "he's your first love, I intend to be your last"

Young William was, however, EASILY JEALOUS by her random hookups as a freshly dead person. He's sitting there, seething, thinking shit like "SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN YOU, PONYTAIL"

[autogeneity]

some feelings on like ability and lack thereof

cw for self-directed ableism or something like that

[NB: afaict I only feel this way about myself and do not endorse it. if I have been applying it to anyone else I am endeavoring to stop]

so I have a general sort of admiration and respect for capability, right. but I had a possibly-troubling realization the other day that at least for myself, this also biases my compassion.

specifically, the thought of appreciating all the things that my body has accomplished and how far I've come...took me from being about to post this

to actually sympathetic and willing to rest it and take care of it.

which is not great, right, like, my body should not have to earn care through uhh athletic accomplishment what the fuck

anyway I've been feeling a bit shit recently in my common ineptitudes. it seems so universal that something like cooking or keeping your home clean is something that is deeply embarrassing and shameful to fail at. nobody has great respect for the slob.

and I claim to have difficulty with this and that, but fact is: people go to bed at 3am and still get up at 6. people work multiple jobs and still manage to cook and clean. people have discipline and self-control and persistence. why don't I. *

and then I see some people here complain about similar issues, but then they have a million other things to show for it. maybe I could earn a messy house if I read or wrote gazillions of stories or made amazing software or whatever. but I don't.

it feels like I can never actually be a person anyone respects this way. even if they could 'love' or accept me hypothetically, there is nothing to admire.

*the actual thing prompting the feeling of lacking those things is in fact even stupider. so much so that I feel embarrassed to even name it. suffice to say I guess fucked up thought patterns can awaken from dormancy surprisingly easily.

[vaguely-concerned]

zeblue sketch dump

here we go! :) this will go long because I Love them

I personally think of Blue’s glasses as less of the conventional nerd kind, more of the insufferable tech bro vibe. He IS a nerd but he’s also a scammer trying to get you to think it’s a sound financial investment to buy his cryptocurrency

God I wish I was more interested in/better at drawing clothes and fashion, because the idea of Blue wearing Aava hand-me-downs is one of the greatest mental images I’ve ever incepted myself with and I don’t think I can ever do it justice. + obligatory blue's dumbass jester my beloved

The Most important version of fullly armoured knight zero that I unforgivably forgot to include in my original post

Introducing Nephili ‘Neph’ Ax-Vel, one of the Force-sensitive kids that I invented for my ever-fixed mark ‘verse! Featuring an omwati redesign because the idea behind the species seemed so cool and yet what little art there is looks like uh… just humans with 80s hair and that was Not It for me. 

She is incredibly interested in technology and is showing signs of integrating her connection to the Force in that, exactly as Aava was so interested to see someone do! However (the monkey’s paw curls for Aava) Blue is her absolute favorite adult in the whole world, for unknowable reasons. (It probably comes down to them having some ineffable yet powerful autism2autism communication going on; he is surprisingly non-awful with her.)   

She’s also the only one of the kids small and literally bird-boned enough for Blue to be able to carry. (Dar-Yen — who even as a little babby 10 year old besalisk is pretty solid — once made a bet with his BFF that Blue would catch him if he jumped into his arms, Brooklyn 99 meme style. This experiment ended with several bruised ribs on all sides and a stern talking to. To this day the kids argue over whether Blue at least tried to catch him before they both went down like matching sacks of potatoes, or was just trying to save his cup of caf. Reader, I think you know in your heart what the truth is there.)

Before Aava and Zero started trading off haircutting duty, Blue’s hair got pretty long, which Neph took as prime free ‘I’ll braid your hair!!!’ real estate. 

Feared lethal assassin Agent Zero play fighting with the kids and dramatically pretending to fall to their combined might is something that can actually be so personal (is so personal I guess considering I made it up for myself lol). It is partially just to be an uncle-shaped jungle gym, but also a way to sneakily train them in working as a group the way he used to when running with a pack in his youth  

*blue voice* but why did theseus seduce ariadne though. Why did he not put the moves on the minotaur instead. This seems like the more obvious and productive cause of action long-term (and I have no other horny reason to think this)

*affectionate Zero voice* you’re insane (and extremely gay) but alright I’ll be insane along with you

(I could imagine this being a real in-universe statue that got commisioned and that they'd pose for fdskajfa Zero has gone through all the stages of grief long ago when it comes to what Blue does to his libido and has arrived at the perfect Zen of 'this will awaken something in me. and that's chill we live and learn about ourselves')

:') they

(Slightly older?) Neph and Blue, and some Zeros I doodled as a means to cling on to my sanity while stuck on a train for a couple of hours. Aava is right he handsome

important information being exchanged (the fact that blue specifically calls the hired killer he employs pretty... I will never be over it what is wrong with him)

The silly stupid little arms-wide-open-in-welcome doodle of Blue in this might be my favorite thing I’ve ever drawn. He really saw bae, went :) , and it fills me with such simple delight

(there’s also a Zero looking sad on this page of my sketchbook that didn’t make it in here, but that’s the context lol)

[sytokun]

Introducing my super cool RWBY rewrite that is definitely better than literally anything

Hey guys, this is my RWBY fanfiction universe. All ideas are mine, I just think... I dunno, RWBY kinda sucks so I'm making my own, better version. I'll call it... RWBY: Rescued or some other vaguely pretentious title, idk. Hey, John and Jane RWBYson! Thanks for subscribing to my project! Or anonymously stalking it? It's hard to tell sometimes.

Now I know I already introduced Team RWBY, and everyone loves them, I'm happy! I'm just gonna add a little dude here, no it's fine! He's like a side character, nothing more. Like an ally, Ruby's first friend, he leads the other team, it'll be really cool I promise. His name is Jaune btw, no, NO big deal. Just trust me on this. I'm the superior writer, remember?

...

Um... sorry guys. Over the weekend I just got a really big spark of inspiration, like... the Muses struck me from the heavens above. So I'm sorry, but... I'm going to make a quarter of the first Volume entirely focused on Jaune, the Volume that is crucially formative to the cast and entire series, which will cause a ripple effect so bad that a consistently large number of fans dislike him in my series 10 years later, but also find it hard to imagine the story without him at this point, like a lukewarm relationship you don't know how to feel about.

But it's fine! The show is still called RWBY and I plan to deliver on that, not like those hacks at Rooster Teeth stepping on Monty's vision. That's the rhetoric I'm supposed to use, right? To make you hate me? To make me into an easy strawman to hate and dismiss? GOT IT, just making sure, lol

I'm going to voice act as him too, btw. No big deal, I'm sure this won't affect my treatment of him whatsoever. Oh, but here's Neptune. He's voiced by the other dude writing this, and we're gonna write a love triangle between the characters we voice and Weiss, one of the main leads. That counts as a character arc for her, right? Right, glad you understand. Oh, Neptune? You actually liked him and wanted him around? What are you, fucking sexist? God. Make sure to tell your friends how cool my story is

Next, I'm going to have Pyrrha's entire screentime devoted around Jaune, and even after she dies, only Jaune is allowed to process his emotions regarding her death while Ren, an Asian dude, and Nora, another girl, prop him up. I'm also going to bring her death up every two years like 2-3 times to really milk that man pain. What does Ruby the main character feel about this? Oh don't worry, she'll talk about it with another character I'll add in. I'll even have her say Keep Moving Forward™ to really sell the audience's Ruby's pain and really stoke and stir your anguish. Her anguish. Moving on.

Eh, something feels off, there's not enough conflict... Let's have Cinder run Weiss through with a spear, for funsies ig, because I have this post-it note on my monitor saying Jaune's Semblance and this is the perfect moment. I'm also gonna give Jaune this whole ass emotional outburst, 1-on-1 fight and confrontation with Cinder since she killed Pyrrha and awakened all his angst.

Ruby? Uh... yeah, she can stand there I guess. I need to remind the goddamn audience that YES, I still remember silver eyes exist, gawd. I have to do it every few Volumes or I can sometimes forget the protagonist in my female-led story exists - man what a pain, I bet I'm gonna be pressured into creating an old lady to teach her or some shit in the Volume right after this one. Whatever, I'll have her disappear in 2 years, they'll never know she left. Anyway OOPS Emerald knocked Ruby out, thank god she's out of the way so I can squeeze in a shot of Cinder stepping on Jaune and really rub that pain in. God, Jaune really needed this, so glad I did that

Fuck it, Jaune kills Penny too. I dunno, it just feels right, y'know? Nah... I don't think Ruby or anyone is the right person for this, and I don't think we've really, one hundred percent explored just how deeply Jaune can angst over dead women; women who could have grown into full, complex people with rich arcs and relationships using all the screentime I parasitically extracted from them via sudden, unwarranted death. Penny, like, she really needs to fuckin' die for this. Her death is worth having to retread this same tired fucking emotional arc if it's for my boy, know what I'm sayin'? Good, glad you understand

Alright, it's the Volume finale. Team RWBY and Neo are falling into the next story arc. Great, people really wanted this - an entire Volume just focused on the title characters together. The fans have been on my ass asking for this since Volume fucking Four. It's alright, I GOT THIS. I FUCKING GOT THIS! It's simple! This is perfect. But... I mean, I shouldn't... but I really... SDGDSGDED FUCK IT, fuck you, Jaune falls in with them too

John and Jane RWBYson: "God, this is why I hate rewriters who think they can write a good story with RWBY. They love making white men the focus of their self insert fantasies while shoving female characters into the fridge and off to the side, all while using Monty's name to rile people into brainlessly supporting it. I hope they fucking disappear"

Wait. John. Jane. Did I say my RWBY fanfiction universe?

Oh. Oh god.

[waeirfaahl]

A little bit about Aku’s ancestor

Although I earlier mentioned my thoughts about what Aku’s ancestor could have been and about those three alien gods, here I’ll mention some tiny interesting details from the episode’s perspective.

What made me wonder since the beginning — the introduction of Aku’s ancestor. It gives impression that the creature arose from the star.

And exactly from this star those three alien gods came also. Plus, the creature tried to escape and to hide, i.e. it didn’t attack first (and it means either the creature already experienced pain from gods’ weapons or it acted like many animals “Don’t hurt me, and I won’t hurt you” and tried to go away without fight), while these alien gods hunted and chased this black entity and attacked it first and then killed.

So... they were both born from this star? Then why the trio considered the black entity as the Ultimate Evil? Maybe it’s a regular cosmic predator. Or Aku’s ancestor was imprisoned and slept, but finally awakened and became free, so these alien gods were guardians and started to chase the escaped prisoner? I don’t think so. If the creature was imprisoned and weakened, why they didn’t kill it earlier instead of sealing in this star? I mean, they killed it with no hesitation and were okay with killing the descendant (Aku) of this creature, so they’re not type of harmony ying-yang philosophy patrons.

In comparison with Aku the ancestor is even more animalistic. Their behavior is widely different, Aku knows nothing what his ancestor saw and knew (Aku doesn’t know about the alien gods and their deadly weapons, for example) — they share only the ability of shape-shifting, invincibility, immortality and adaptation in the new area. The ancestor is formless, it’s self-defensive and has pretty limit abilities. Only the shape-shifting and absorbing an enemy (well, at least, it tried to absorb one of the gods to death after their attacks). It can’t talk, but only howls, growls and heeses (or whatever these otherwordly sounds are — maybe ancient language, i.e. more ancient than all these alien gods)  

Aku’s ancestor took form of octopus-like and crab (or spider) creatures. And this moment rises some questions — why these forms so remind animals from Earth, if the creature never visited Earth? If the creature only was born from the star, how it can know these animal forms? Or maybe the creature itself arose from ocean-like area of the space, where it saw similar cosmic animals and tried to mimic, but was banished and chased as something dangerous (or as something untamable for them, while they desired to conquer and control it for themselves) by those alien gods? That’s more plausible.

But, unfortunately, the creature died, and we can only assume, what this crature could do, while its tiny part survived and later will give the life to Aku, creating for him successful adaptation in the new world (about biology and reproduce by fragmentation of this creature and Aku I told here). Another little interesting moment about this scene I’ll mention in another post.

Although I have my own vision and headcanon of what Aku’s ancestor is, how it could look in anthropomorphic form and what voice this creature could have, as well as what relationships it could have with Aku and what the actual conflict between Aku’s ancestor and the alien gods was about (yes, I love epic and tragic conflicts and supernatural beings), in the show, if the creature stayed alive, it probably would want to absorb Aku, i.e. to return him back as its lost part and not considering Aku as already separate living being with own personality and apparently as own sibling/child. Because it’s the most obvious trope the authors could imagine, I guess, “We will be one again” thing or whatever. But in the show I still see Aku’s ancestor as fierce and noble force of primal cosmic nature, embodying both life and death despite having a deadly poisonous petroleum-acidic essense/blood/body.  Bonus: not only the alien gods had the weapon, which can harm and kill Aku’s ancestor and Aku, before humankind emergence. This Sleipnir-like stallion is not only spreads some white fog and makes plants to grow under its hooves (the Forest Spirit from “Princess Mononoke” vibes), but also destroys the black tree and the remains of the black lake, freeing Emperor. 

Although, since it disappeared in clouds, could it be these three alien gods either were this stallion or created it as tangible illusion in the same way they created tangible illusions of the monks during creating the sword? So, yeah, these liars could do all themselves much earlier.