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daddy-dins-girl · 1 year ago

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Playdate - Chapter 5

Main Masterlist Series Masterlist

AO3 link

pairing: Marcus Pike x f! Reader x Dave York

Word Count: 6k

Chapter 5 Summary: Your husband has every intention of making this your most memorable birthday yet… And he was never one to disappoint.

Notes: This chapter will be split over a couple of parts. It was getting long (and unhinged) and I wanted to get something out sooner than later. There will be at least one follow-up chapter to this one that will be a straight continuation from where we leave off here.

Chapter Warnings (minor spoilers in the tags...): 18+ MDNI. F/M/M threesome. Cucking/Wife sharing. Semi-public sex acts (you're in the back of a car but the driver can't see or hear you). Derogatory Language. Praise kink. Soft!Dave York. Dom!Dave York. PerfectHusband!Marcus Pike. Oral sex (m and f receiving). Rough oral sex. Sensory deprivation. Use of restraints. Traffic light system. If I missed anything else lmk!

Thank you to my mutuals for talking things out with me and helping me out on a few things, you know who you are! Dedicating this chapter to @janaispunk, I hope it gives you a smile or two :)

Page dividers by the generous and talented @saradika-graphics

You twirl your pasta around your fork as you glance across the candlelit table to Marcus on the other side, your heart warming as his gaze settles on you and a smile pulls at his lips. He’s brought you to your favorite restaurant for your birthday. Or rather, your birthday weekend, as he called it. Today was Friday and your birthday wasn’t technically until tomorrow but Marcus did always like to make a fuss.

Soft jazz music plays in the background while an opened bottle of champagne sits in an ice bucket next to your table, both of you already on your second glass.

“How’s your carbonara?” He asks, nodding his head in the direction of your plate.

“To die for” you roll your eyes dramatically before taking another bite. He smiles again before digging back into his steak and you both settle back into a comfortable silence as you continue to enjoy your dinner. He has yet to tell you what his plans are for the rest of the evening, despite you desperately begging to get it out of him. He wants it to be a surprise, as usual.

You chat in hushed voices as you near the end of your meals, Marcus holding your hand in his as you tell him again how much you love him and how lucky you are that he’s yours. Your brow raises slightly in surprise when he orders another round of drinks and as the server disappears he’s quick to let you know not to worry, that he’s not driving tonight and has already made other arrangements. Of course he has. Marcus had always been meticulous in planning your birthdays.

With half a bottle of champagne already under your belts each, your next drink - your favourite wine - goes down just as easily as Marcus’ Old Fashioned does. You’re not drunk, but you’re certainly feeling good and playful enough that you stretch your right leg out under the table and gently run your foot up Marcus’ calf.

“Ready to get out of here?” He smirks at you from across the table, quickly throwing back the last swallow of amber liquid in his glass. You bite your lip and nod your head. You don’t know where you’re off to next, but at the very least maybe you can make out a little in the back of the cab.

Marcus gets your server’s attention and within minutes the bill is paid and he’s guiding you out of the restaurant, his palm a warming presence on the small of your back.

You step out into the cool night air and your eyes nearly bug out of your head when you see what’s waiting for you. A black sleek, stretched Lincoln Town Car is idling at the curb with a well dressed driver standing dutifully at the back passenger door, white gloved hands folded in front of him as he tips his head to you both in greeting.

“Mr. and Mrs. Pike,” he greets as he moves slightly from the door and pulls it open, gesturing you inside with a sweep of his arm towards the open door.

“What have you done?” You giggle, looking back at your husband who just shrugs his shoulders. “I thought you meant a cab”

“Only the best for my baby on her birthday” he smiles and ushers you towards the car, gently pushing on the small of your back and you let him guide you inside before he climbs in after you and the driver gently shuts the door.

You settle into the plush interior and take in your surroundings. There are soft tiny lights all across the ceiling, giving the darkened interior a soft warm glow, small dark red velvet throw pillows on the black leather upholstered seating and another bottle of champagne chills in a bucket of ice in the middle of the floor between the two facing bench seats on either side.

The driver gets into his seat, you can see through the open car and he gives you a small nod and a smile through his rearview mirror before he clicks a button and the partition in front of you begins to raise, sealing you and Marcus away to yourselves.

“More champagne?” Marcus asks as you snuggle closer into his side.

“No” you breathe out before you’re on him, the car having barely just pulled away from the curb. Your hands on either side of his face and one leg slots in between his as you push yourself up to capture his mouth. His hand goes to your waist immediately, brushing up and down your side as you lick into his mouth and he swallows back a moan.

“How much time do we have?” You ask between desperate kisses, your hands fisting into his dress shirt now and pulling his body towards you until he’s pressing your back into the plush leather behind you.

He lets out a laugh at your eagerness. “Not that much”.

You begin to pout but it’s short lived when you feel his hand go under your dress, warm palm inching up your thigh.

“Marcus” you whimper against his lips when his fingertips ghost over your panties. You’re already wet and you know he can feel it by how he smirks against your lips.

“I’ve got you honey” he promises and then gently pulls the front of your underwear aside and presses his fingers against you.

You let out a little whine and then press your mouth to his again, letting him swallow all your little moans while his fingers make delicate work of pulling you apart. He lets them glide through your slick folds and presses one digit inside of you to gather more of your arousal before he spreads it around your lips and up to circle at your clit and your hips cant off the seat, pressing into his hand.

“Oh my god,” you whimper, mouth pulling off of him so your head can fall back against the seat. “Feels so good” you tell him, hand coming up to wrap around the back of his head as he buries his face in your throat and begins to lick and suck at your pulse point.

His fingers relent from teasing at your clit and slide lower until he’s pushing two into you and curling them just as he reaches that spongy spot deep inside that causes a low moan to spill from your lips. Within minutes he already has you on the edge and the firm press of his palm to your throbbing little bundle of nerves while his fingers crook back and forth inside you is enough to tip you over. You lurch forward and let out a strangled sob as you cum around his fingers, your hands desperately clutching and clawing at his shoulders as wave after wave of your orgasm washes over you. You feel him chuckle into your throat as his fingers slow to long, languid thrusts inside of you before he finally pulls them out and teases them around your folds and clit and your body gently jerks at how sensitive you are.

“All better?” he asks, smirking into the side of your throat before he rights your underwear again and his hand goes back to gently smoothing up and down your thigh.

“Oh my god” you breathe, wrapping your arms around his neck and clinging to him. “Thank you baby” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his hair. The car begins to slowly roll to a stop and you gently push away from each other, Marcus fixing your dress back down from where he’d pushed it up your hips before his hand goes to his own crotch and he slightly adjusts himself in the now tight fabric of his pants. You don’t know how far you drove but the ride seemed to be over far too quickly for your liking. You desperately wanted to take Marcus in your mouth while you kneeled before him on the carpeted floor of the limo, making sure he knew how much you appreciated everything he does for you but it seems the driver and, presumably, Marcus’ predetermined destination, had other plans for you.

Marcus notices the little pout on your lips and gently grasps at your chin before pulling you towards him for a quick kiss. “Plenty time for more of that later, baby” he promises.

You hear the driver's door open and close and a moment later there’s a tap against your window and Marcus slides over across the seat to open the door and you follow right behind him.

“Marcus!” You giggle when you step outside and realize where you are, at one of the fanciest - and not to mention most expensive - hotels in the city. You didn’t know what he had in store for tonight but now that you’re here you’re very glad he’s whisked you away to a hotel room so you can get right back to where you left off in the limo.

“I did good?” He asks, looking at you with a grin and you quickly nod your head.

“You did very good baby” you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and giving him a quick kiss.

“Your bag sir” the Driver is suddenly at your side again, handing Marcus an overnight bag that you realize he must have gotten out of the trunk and you give Marcus a curious look. Clearly he had this all mapped out and had even packed you both some essentials and given it to the Driver in advance.

Marcus thanks the driver and holds his free arm out to you which you happily accept, thanking the driver yourself and wishing him a goodnight as Marcus whisks you away into the hotel. You don’t even stop at the concierge, Marcus letting you know he’s already taken care of checking in and has the keycard in his pocket. You don’t even know when he’d had time to do all this. As far as you knew he came straight home from work and quickly showered and changed and you were out the door for dinner. Your husband never failed to surprise you.

You clutch a little tighter to his arm as the elevator carries you to one of the highest floors and an excited energy thrums through your veins. You can’t wait to get him inside and show him just how grateful you are for not only tonight, but everything this man does for you.

He slides the keycard at the electronic pass at the door once the elevator has deposited you on your floor and your breath catches in your throat the moment he swings the door open. It’s just the front entry to what is apparently a multi-room suite but it’s already beautiful. The lights are dimmed and there are red rose petals on the floor leading down a narrow hallway on your right that turns off to another section of the room that you aren’t able to see yet beyond the walls. Immediately on your left is a simple bathroom complete with a large glass walk-in shower.

“C’mon” he laughs at your little gasp. “You haven’t even seen the best part yet”

He takes your hand and leads you inside, following the path of the rose petals and you turn into the next area. It’s a living room area furnished with an already lit fireplace, a couch, armchair and coffee table, as well as a small desk. On a far wall there are two sets of double french doors, one of which is opened to showcase an enormous built-in jacuzzi tub, the second set of doors still firmly closed.

“Oh my god that bathtub” you sigh. You’ve always wanted one like it at home. “Is that the best part?” You ask your husband who simply smirks but shakes his head.

“Not even close” he laughs and nods his head for you to follow his line of sight back to the rose petals still trailing across the floor that lead to the second set of closed doors.

“Oooh, and what’s behind door number two?” You ask giddily like you’re on some game show and Marcus simply shrugs, feigning ignorance.

“Go find out”

You don’t need to be told twice, your excitement barely containable, not having any idea what else he could possibly surprise you with tonight. But when you reach the doors and swing them open, he’s done it. Your husband has absolutely outdone himself yet again and given you the biggest surprise yet. You practically shriek when you see ‘your surprise’ standing there, dressed smartly in a sharp black suit with the jacket buttons open and crisp white collared shirt but no tie, holding a single long stemmed red rose in front of him.

It’s Dave.

“Oh my god!” You gasp before your feet take off, you’re practically sprinting across the room towards him and leap into his arms. He catches you easily as your legs wrap around his waist and your arms around his neck and hug him tightly.

“Happy birthday baby” he murmurs into your hair as he holds you firmly to his body and after a good long moment you finally pull back enough to press a kiss to his waiting lips.

“I can’t believe you’re here” you whisper against his mouth before capturing his lips again with your own. Not allowing the kiss to get too heated, yet, you gently extract yourself from him and he helps you back down to your feet where you run back over to Marcus and throw your arms around him next.

“You did this for me?” You whisper into his neck, unable to help the couple of tears that slip out as you hug him tighter and his arms come up to wrap around your back. Of all the possibilities that ran through your head for this evening, this one never crossed your mind and you’re so happy you literally have tears in your eyes.

“Have I ever let you down on your birthday honey?” he chuckles and that gets a little laugh out of you as well, sniffling back your tears before you pull away from him and place both hands on his face, your teary eyed gaze locked on his.

“I love you Marcus” you tell him before you surge forward and let your lips and tongue express the rest of your emotions as they collide with his. He moans into the kiss, his hands smoothing down your back to rest on your ass while yours slide up to push the jacket from his shoulders, neither of you caring that it lands in a crumpled heap on the floor at your feet and the moment his arms are free again his hands are back where they started. You're lost in the kiss for long moments until you feel another set of hands suddenly at your waist and a hot, wet mouth at the side of your throat.

“Ohhhh,” you let out a little whimper, breaking away from Marcus’ mouth as your head lolls back to rest on Dave’s shoulder where he stands behind you, his lips still sealed to your throat. Marcus leans back in, kissing and nipping at the side of your face, down your jaw and the opposite side of your neck from Dave and you let out another moan. You’ve never been sandwiched between the two of them like this before and it’s driving you insane, despite the fact that they’re barely doing anything other than kissing you. You’re not sure how you’re supposed to survive the rest of the night if it keeps going anything like this.

Your husband's large palms grope and grab at your ass while Dave’s slide up to your tits, gently kneading and palming them in his grasp and your whole body tingles with anticipation and an unprecedented excitement while the two of them focus all of their attention on worshiping your body.

“Mmmm, should we get you more comfortable baby?” Dave eventually hums into your throat, his hands leaving your breasts and fingertips now teasing up and down your sides and you can do little but nod your head. Neither of their mouths let up, but Dave’s hands do come around to your back where he gently tugs on the zipper of your dress, sliding it all the way down and only when you go to step out of it do both men finally release you and take a slight step back. The fabric pools at your feet forgotten, leaving you in only your bra and panties and Marcus smiles at you before taking your hand and leading you over to the bed.

You hadn’t noticed everything else when you first opened the doors, all coherent thought leaving your brain the moment you saw Dave standing in the middle of the room, but you see it now. There are dozens of tiny lit candles everywhere and more rose petals laid out in the shape of a heart on the King sized bed.

Everything is perfect. Truly perfect, now that you had Dave here to share it with both of you.

“On the bed honey” Marcus gestures towards the headboard with a nod of his head and you quickly clamber up onto the mattress to the middle of the bed and rest your back against the pillows at the headboard. Marcus kneels onto the bed and crawls up after you while Dave rounds to the other side and then does the same until you’re flanked by both of them as they lie on their sides next to you and both immediately bring their mouths to your throat again. They’re kissing, licking and sucking their way across and down your neck as they both bring a hand up and squeeze a breast and your back arches, pressing yourself further into their touch as they both devour you with their mouths. Daves free hand reaches behind you, unclasping your bra so they can both hastily tug either side’s strap down until you’re free from its confines and it’s tossed carelessly aside before their hands resume their earlier task; squeezing, kneading and teasing your tits with their large hands and expert fingers. They’re slowly driving you mad with their equal attentiveness and you can do little about it other than lie back and enjoy everything they give you, your hands wrapping around either of their heads and pushing through their hair as they continue to assault your throat with hungry kisses. You’re certain you’re going to be marked up to all hell come tomorrow morning but you don’t care. You’ll wear a turtleneck to work next week and try not to blush any time a coworker questions your choice of wardrobe given the time of year. Or hell, maybe you’ll show them off as badges of honour and let them gossip all they want.

It’s Marcus’ hand that eventually retreats from your chest first, leaving your breast to trail down your stomach and going between your legs to palm your sex overtop of your underwear and you can’t help but lift your hips to grind into his hand. Your panties are already soaked from your little makeout session in the limo and every brush of Marcus’ deft fingers over your lips has you aching to feel more of him, wishing he’d take them off of you.

“Oh fuck” you whine when Dave’s hand suddenly leaves your chest and is overtop of Marcus’ pressing it further into your clothed cunt. You try to lift your head a little higher so you can see their hands moving together against you but their mouths still have you basically pinned down against the headboard.

“Fucking soaked baby” Dave chuckles into your throat. “Somebody started without me”

“Couldn’t… Resist” Marcus breathes out in between kisses. “Fuck, look at her”

“Gettin Marcus here all riled up baby?” Dave tuts, his hand leaving your sex to trail upwards and gently pinch and pull at a taut nipple, causing you to bite your lip to keep the whimper of pleasant pain at bay. “Being naughty, hmmm?” he breathes into the side of your face.

“You know what we do to naughty girls, don’t you?” He asks, breath hot against your ear and you quickly shake your head.

“Show me” you breathe out, heart hammering in your chest, and the ‘be careful what you wish for’ is implied in the dark little chuckle Dave lets out at your brazen response.

His hands leave you entirely and he’s up out of the bed and your eyes trail him as he walks over and bends down to grab a small black duffel bag that was sitting next to the armchair in the room. Even Marcus seems to be distracted by Dave, his kisses and movements slowing as he watches him from his peripheral, curious to see what all Dave has in his bag of tricks this evening. He was rarely one to disappoint.

Your breath catches in your throat when you recognize what’s in his hands and he smirks as he saunters back up to you, dangling the restraints from his strong fingers.

“Been dying to do this for ages baby” he confesses and you hear a tiny whimpered ‘oh fuck’ from Marcus when he turns his head fully to see what’s going on. His hard cock twitches against your hip and you’re not sure which one of you is most excited to see you tied up; Dave, yourself, or Marcus.

The mattress dips under his weight as Dave kneels on the bed next to you and begins securing one of the restraints around the nearest bedpost. Once he’s got it looped around he lifts your hand and feeds it through the small opening at the opposite end and then wraps the velcro fastener around your wrist and tests it by giving your arm a small tug.

Satisfied that it's secure he gets up and walks around to the other side, next to Marcus and repeats the same process for your other arm and pats the back of your imprisoned hand once you’re completely subdued. Your heart is hammering in your chest with a nervous excitement and the way both men are staring at you like you are something to be devoured isn’t helping the aching throb between your legs one bit.

“Just missing one final piece” Dave muses before he turns his head towards Marcus and gestures at him with a nod of his head.

“Mind if I borrow this?” He asks, and not giving Marcus a chance to respond, brings his hands to your husbands neck and starts tugging his tie loose until he’s able to slip it over his head. “Much obliged” Dave smirks before his attention turns back towards you and suddenly your vision goes black (literally) as Dave slips the silken material over your head to cover your eyes and pulls the knot tight again.

“You know the traffic light system now, don’t you baby?” He asks, hand coming down to grip at your chin and raising your face to him, despite the fact that he knows you can’t see him, to ensure you hear him and understand. Your heart is racing and your breaths come out shallow but you dutifully nod your head.

“Let me hear it” he insists firmly.

“Green for keep going, yellow to slow down, red means stop” you recite for him and he seems pleased with your answer as he lightly shucks your chin with his knuckle and releases you.

“That’s my good girl,” he praises. “What colour are we now?”

“Green!” You let out maybe a little too enthusiastically and he chuckles.

“That’s good baby, really good” he says, rewarding you by leaning down and placing a soft kiss to your lips. “You cum for us enough times and we’ll let you loose, how’s that sound?”

“Mmmhmm” you quickly nod, not quite trusting your voice and that earns a little chuckle from Dave.

You hear the distinct snap of fingers and can only assume that’s Dave, gesturing something to Marcus and your hips wiggle slightly, your body still desperate for attention and waiting for what will come next. There’s a pair of hands at your waist, gently tugging at your panties and you lift your hips, eager to help get them off.

“Oh wait, almost forgot” Dave says suddenly and you truly don’t know what’s left that he could have in store for you at this point, already having you completely naked, chained to the bed and blindfolded. The mattress moves slightly as he moves off of it again and you wait for several agonizing seconds until it dips under his weight again and you feel the fabric of his shirt brush against your side. “The final, final piece” he amends from earlier as you feel soft foam pads rest against your ears before music immediately starts pouring in from them.

Noise canceling headphones. Of course. Dave is apparently adamant on depriving you of most of your senses this evening it would seem.

“Still green baby?” He asks, lifting one ear off momentarily for you to hear him and you nod your head.

“Still green” you affirm, knowing he needs to hear the words. He begins to re affix the headphones on your head when you suddenly blurt out “wait!”

Dave says nothing, but also doesn’t put the headphone back down on your ear so he’s apparently waiting for whatever you’re going to say.

“Do I get to make a request?” You ask bravely and you hear a little huff of laughter from Dave, but then a soft reassuring hand lands on your thigh (Marcus, you presume).

“From where I’m standing you don’t look like you’re in any position to be making requests sweetheart, but go ahead, give your request and maybe I’ll consider it”

“I want you both naked” you breathe out, wishing you could see whether or not Dave was humouring your request whatsoever as the room stays silent for several seconds.

“You can’t even see us” Dave laughs at you and you don’t need to see him to know he’s shaking his head.

“But I can… feel you” you reason, albeit weakly. “I like to feel all of you. Both of you”

You hear Dave’s sigh and your hopes are just a little up.

“What do you think, Pike?” He asks of your husband who’s hand at your thigh now gives a comforting squeeze.

“It is her birthday” he argues and a smile pulls at your lips.

Dave doesn’t verbally agree but you hear him grunt as he begins shucking off clothing and when the hand leaves your thigh you know Marcus has begun his own task of ridding himself of his suit and dress shirt. You hear articles of clothing being tossed around to different parts of the room, the metal clang of two separate belt buckles and four thuds from shoes hitting the carpeted floor next to you and you grin appreciatively at their acquiescence.

“Much better” you sigh, even though you can’t see them or even currently feel them as neither of them are touching you.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get used to calling any more of the shots around here” Dave tuts and a gasp leaves your lips when you feel a sudden sharp little tug at one of your nipples. “I don’t wanna hear ‘it’s my birthday Dave’ every two seconds when you want something” he says mockingly. “Only thing we wanna hear you begging for are our cocks, you understand?”

“Yes sir” you say, a teasing lilt to your tone.

The headphone closes around your ear again and you’re submerged in the sound of some heavy rock music. You’re not sure if Dave picked it or if it’s just on some random playlist station from his phone because he wanted to drown you in the loudest music possible, but you don’t care enough to ask, you just need them back on task.

Their task being, of course, you.

Thankfully you don’t wait long. Moments later there’s a mouth devouring each of your nipples at the same time and Dave is even sporting a bit of a five o’clock shadow this evening so it’s almost imperceptible to tell who is who at this point without your vision to rely on. It somehow turns you on even more, if that were possible.

A tiny whimpered ‘fuck’ leaves your lips when you feel fingers between your legs. Far too many fingers to belong to one hand. There’s one set playing with your clit while another prods their digits at your entrance which your cunt greedily sucks in with how wet and ready you are. A third hand is suddenly at your throat, lightly grasping around it while you’re being fucked and teased by their fingers below and you feel your first orgasm coming along like a freight train. You’re not only overstimulated, but with so many of your senses deprived from you it has the remaining ones so heightened that it feels like you’re experiencing every touch ten-fold.

“Oh God, oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” you cry out as your orgasm fastly approaches. The hand at your throat tightens and the three fingers currently plunging into you speed up as both mouths continue to suck and nip and lick at your breasts. Within seconds your back and hips arch upwards and you cum, long and hard with a strangled moan as the hand at your throat finally releases and allows you to quickly gulp down some air. The fingers between your legs thankfully slow but don’t leave you entirely. The ones inside you continue fucking into you with a torturously slow pace while the the ones at your clit draw gentle circles, easing you down from your high.

“That’s one” you hear Dave suddenly at your ear as the hand that was presumably around your throat moves to shove one side of the headphones off the side of your head. “What do you want off first baby?” He asks and it’s suddenly the hardest question you’ve ever faced in your lifetime. Part of you wants to be able to hear them, but then you think about how desperately you need to touch and feel any part of them.

“A hand!” You blurt out suddenly. By your count you only need 3 more orgasms to be completely free and at the rate you’re going, you doubt it will take long.

“Greedy” Dave chuckles but pops the earphone back against your head and gets to work untying your right hand. You grin enthusiastically the moment your hand is free and reach out blindly for one of them. Either of them. But instead you feel the mattress move slightly under you and your hand doesn’t reach anyone and you think they’ve both gotten up, maybe to move places. A moment later the bed dips again and you feel your legs being spread wider apart and shoulders brush the insides of your thighs as they settle between them and a smile graces your lips as someone’s hand captures yours that’s still extended outwards. You feel the mattress move again directly beside you on your right and the hand holding yours pulls it a little closer to them until you feel it. Your small hand instinctively wraps around the warm, hard cock and your grin widens as you give it a few practiced strokes.

“Oh fuck” you whimper when two fingers part your lower lips and a skilled tongue flicks against your still sensitive and swollen clit. You’re not given a chance to utter any further praise for the wet muscle inflicting torturous pleasure however because a strong hand suddenly grips at your cheeks, forcing your mouth open and the cock that your hand was wrapped around is suddenly shoved unceremoniously to the back of your throat. If you had to guess, it was Dave in your mouth and Marcus between your legs. The duality between your two lovers was easily perceptible, even without the use of half of your senses. Dave fucked into your throat the way he always did, with purpose and force. He knew what you could take and always pushed you to your limits but never overstepped them. A hand grips your hair to hold it away from your face as more of the hard length is shoved to the back of your throat and you’re held in position until you start to sputter and gag and he releases you, only momentarily, just to begin fucking back into your mouth again as drool dribbles down your chin. Dave likes it messy and sloppy, and if you had your hearing right now you’re certain you would be listening to him tell you how well you take him and what a good little slut you are for his cock.

You think you’ll ask for the headphones off next…

Thank god that Dave (presumably) was doing most of the work for you with your mouth because the tongue between your legs was driving you so crazy that you couldn’t possibly concentrate on anything else, only the feeling of the geyser that is your arousal about to erupt.

“Oh my god, fuck fuck fuck!” You cry out, managing to rip your mouth off of the cock in your throat as three fingers are shoved inside your needy cunt and the tongue continues its assault until you’re coming, long and hard and with a muffled cry as the dick is forced back inside your mouth to quiet your screams.

The tongue lazily swirls your clit and laps at your folds while fingers gently fuck you through the aftershocks of your orgasm and your free hand is hastily grabbing for the cock in your mouth, wrapping around it and pumping it while your tongue greedily licks away at the precum oozing from the tip, anything to distract you as your legs and thighs tremble with the attention your cunt is receiving.

Finally the mouth and fingers leave you and regretfully the cock slips from the wet heat of your mouth and you’re left for a moment to catch your breath. There’s a lot of shuffling around again as both bodies pull away and then the headphone is shoved away from your ear again.

“Such a good girl” Dave’s warm voice floods your senses immediately as he places a kiss just behind your ear. “That’s two”

To be honest, you lose count after two. You’re pretty sure by the end of the night you blacked out from the amount of orgasms both Marcus and Dave had given you with their mouths, hands and cocks. The two of them working in tandem to give your body more pleasure than you’ve literally ever experienced in your lifetime was enough to have you passed out before you even managed to mutter a ‘good night’ or a ‘thank you’ to either of them. Even both men had managed to orgasm, rally, and then orgasm a second time before all three of you passed out in a messy pile of sweaty limbs just a couple of hours before the sun was set to rise.

A content, happy little sigh escapes you as you fall asleep for the first time with both Marcus and Dave at your sides, each with a hand draped possessively over you as they too succumb to the sleep desperately calling them.

Despite all the mind-blowing orgasms that turned your brain into a pile of complete mush unable to compose even a single further coherent thought, there was one thing you were sure of. This was the best birthday you’ve ever had.

And as you faintly recall Marcus telling you earlier, “Baby, we’re just getting started”

Next Chapter

Taglist (if you want to be added, lmk!) @senaar-ika @suzdin @boliv-jenta @prolix-yuy @vabeachazn @seasonalobession @pedroshotwifey @nerdieforpedro @chronically-ghosted @macabremads @survivingandenduring @theywhowriteandknowthings @axshadows @iamasaddie @vickywallace @lincolndjarin @its-nebuleuse @janaispunk @missladym1981 @heareball @staywildflowahchild @guelyury @anotherpedrolover

#pedro pascal cinematic universe #dave york #marcus pike #pedro pascal character fanfiction #dave york x reader #marcus pike x reader #dave york x marcus pike x reader #ppcu #ppcu fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction

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harper-sherman · 1 year ago

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s1:e24 - Street of Hate

Hey y'all, it's been a while! Life has gotten in the way of posting (of course) but I'm going to try to be more consistent, even if that means I just post once a week. Anyway, on to the episode!

This is a solid "pards" episode of Laramie, and has some really great scenes. A townsperson/old friend is paroled out to Slim after serving a manslaughter sentence. The victim's father is quite upset about this guy returning to town and tries to make all sorts of issues, which of course Slim and ultimately Jess get involved in. Charles Bronson plays parolee Frank Buckley; if you're into him, there's a good shirtless scene. I won't go too far into the plot synopsis because this is really one worth watching and I don't want to spoil it. However, I will definitely talk about these screenshots. :)

Early in the episode, Slim and Jess are playing cards in the saloon while waiting for Frank's stage to come in. It looks like Jess is playing solitaire with some input from Slim, which is ridiculously cute. I never paid much attention to this scene until one of my mutuals pointed it out (you know who you are, lol), and I see why it's one of their favorites.

Later on, Jess is breaking in a horse, which leads to a very strange scene of Andy sewing the torn seat of his pants while he's still wearing them. Andy accidentally pokes Jess with the needle, and both Jess' and Slim's reactions are priceless.

We also get a fantastic tandem fight scene that ends with washing up in a water trough after the boys have kicked some ass.

Finally, the episode closes with Slim and Jess sitting on their porch, tattered boots up on the railing...and touching, of course. ❤️💙

#laramie #laramie tv #laramie tv show #slim sherman #jess harper #slim/jess #jess/slim #robert fuller #john smith

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jodilin65 · 14 years ago

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SUNDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2010 No!!!! I HATE it when sites change things, especially when the changes are big. I hate change! And MyOpera’s getting ready to change – argh! But I like MyOpera the way it is. That’s why I came here! If they change what I came here for, then I’m not likely to stick around, even if it means losing the stats that don’t work half the time anyway. It really stinks that people can’t leave a good thing alone. Nothing stays the same for long and all good things really do come to an end. MyOpera’s fine the way it is. What they really need to do is just fix the few glitches it has - background pics not loading, not being able to keep blocked users out of the shoutbox which hasn’t been working for weeks, that sorta thing.

Before Jesse gets to making a racket, though I hope that being a Sunday means he’ll give us a day off, I’m going to crank out another article on crushes vs. love. Bet Maliheh will find that one a bit interesting, LOL. Yeah, part of the reason I’m writing it is to hopefully generate enough interest in her that she’ll click the link and help up my earnings.

Later…

Alison brought up a good point about the fact that Maliheh might have chosen to ignore my friend request for now on Facebook, though they call it Not Now on their Help page.

If I had to guess, she already took action by denying the request, though it still appears as pending. But you know what? I’m SICK of guessing! I wish she would just come out and tell me what’s up with this! She knows she can contact me. What would be so hard in saying, “I’m still thinking about whether or not I want to accept it,” or “I denied it,” or “I never got it in the first place?”

But guessing is all I’m allowed to do, apparently, and so my top guess is it’s a bug. I didn’t report it, though, and say that I suspect it was denied even though it still says it’s pending. I’ll just let it sit there saying it’s pending forever.

It also said that if you do choose Not Now you can go back later on and reject or accept it.

But what am I supposed to do here? Does she expect me to ask her directly whatever it is I want to ask? Am I supposed to sit back and wait patiently until she comes to me? Or are we supposed to forever ignore each other except for what messages I may send her at times and what blog views I may receive from her, just like we’ve been doing so far except for that one day we swapped a couple of messages? Or comments, I should say. Like I said, I really wish she’d give me some kind of clue or a sign as to what she expects of me. Or maybe she already has and I’m just too stupid to see it.

I can’t believe that Molly has viewed my page 20 times today. As I said before, the crazier a woman is, the more attention I get from her. Maliheh may be a bitch (ok so maybe I am a bit turned on by those hard-ass types) but she’s definitely not crazy. Therefore I don’t “qualify” for nearly as much attention from her, LOL. She just needs to start hanging out with me online and chatting or something. I’d get a touch of craziness into her that way for damn sure and probably have loads of fun doing it, too. :)

The Girl in the Mirror is off to write another article, but if she doesn’t get paid soon she’s not going to be the girl in Helium’s mirror! I think I might start writing under my own name, though. That way, if by some miracle I do get paid, there won’t be any name confusion on PayPal’s part. Who needs a pen name anyway?

In other news, I got the kind of attention from Dieter I wish I could get from Nane but never will. He started off by commenting on one of my articles which I’m posting links to on my blog, Twitter and Facebook. He agreed with my views on lesbianism not being caused by male attitudes. If that were the case most women would be gay, LOL. He also asked how I knew Nane and I told him like it was. I simply told him we met on a language learning site and that I came out and told her I thought she was attractive. Also, I wasn’t sure if the feeling was mutual, but she seems open-minded with what little I know about her.

He replied with a “yes!”

“Yes, it’s mutual, or yes she’s open-minded?” I asked.

He said he didn’t know, he just loved her. I agreed she seemed like a very loveable person, but I didn’t hear as much from her as I’d like. I understand she’s busy, though, I added.

“She’s very special to me,” he said next and I asked how they met and how she was special to him.

Then he said that there we were talking about her and she didn’t even know it.

I said that I was just thinking the same thing and hoped she wouldn’t want to serve my head for dinner if she stumbled across the discussion, not that we said anything bad about her, and not that I thought she would go to my wall and read it (unless he tells her about it).

“Wait for her comments,” he said.

I politely agreed to, though as I pointed out earlier, Nane doesn’t usually comment or message me without it being a reply to a comment or a message I sent first.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 30, 2010 Nos vamos a ir – oops! Started to write this entry in Spanish, LOL. We went to the post office so I could cash Paula’s money order. Strangely enough, the guy at the desk never asked to see my ID or had me endorse the money order. Maybe he figured it was only for $10, so who cares? Then Tom got a money order for the rent and we came back to spend a day lazing around and eating everything we shouldn’t. At least I spent yesterday dieting off that extra pound I hash browned on the day before that, LOL.

Today I’m making a point of not doing anything that isn’t fun. That means I’m just going to write, study languages, and of course we’ll both take breaks to keep the rat entertained while listening to Jesse. Yeah, despite the rain we’re having today Jesse is still determined to steal the peace. I hear him buzzing about on the ATV and I’m sure the bulldozer will be next. Next week he’s really going to be raising hell and driving me crazy as it’s to be warm and sunny all week.

Although I don’t expect much revenue from it, it’s cool that I was offered a “job” writing articles at Helium and I like how you can pick any topic you want. Now that I did that 417-word article on gay marriage, maybe I’ll do a language-learning article next.

It’s just that the site is a bit complicated. I’m not sure I get it all. My ranking went from 9 out of 15 to 7 out of 15 since I posted it, so I guess that’s a good thing. But it seems I must have at least 1 star in order to get paid and I may have to write 10 articles in order to do that and get myself noticed more so I can be rated and all that stuff. So I guess I better get thinking about what else to write about. I guess the more views you get the more you get paid too, so I gotta think of not only things I know enough about to write about but things that are more popular.

They even have a creative writing contest section and I may submit some stories, but don’t know for sure yet.

A friend of Nane’s added me on Facebook. An older gentleman who left some nice comments on my photos who also lives in Germany and who also knows English.

Ok, here’s what’s been eating at me, but I must, must stress up front that I’m not trying to argue, challenge, accuse or piss anyone off! I’m merely stating my feelings and my opinions. That’s all I’m doing!

I know I said it doesn’t matter what happened 19 years ago as far as the little details go, and it’s true. It doesn’t matter. What actually happened isn’t the issue. But it bothers me a bit that Maliheh would lie about who kissed who and about us exchanging numbers at the bar. It just seems like such a silly thing to lie about. I also realize that our memories do worsen with age and that maybe she isn’t knowingly and intentionally lying, but really truly does remember it to be the way she said it was. Like I said, I’m not trying to call her a liar. But if I knew for a fact that she was deliberately lying about it, then why? Why?

I don’t remember every little thing that happened myself. It was a long time ago and I too, am getting older. But I clearly remember her kissing me on my way out and us exchanging numbers very well, and like I said before, kissing cheeks isn’t my thing. I probably wouldn’t even hug anyone I didn’t know well. Nor would I ask someone else your number if you’re standing right there in front of me and I can just ask you directly. And I couldn’t look anyone up whose last name I didn’t know. There’s nothing wrong with those who kiss or hug people they just met. I’m just saying it isn’t me. But being kissed by someone you were madly attracted to the instant you laid eyes on them isn’t something you forget easily. There is no doubt in my mind as to who kissed who and I wasn’t at all offended by it. I was actually quite flattered. What I don’t remember is who suggested exchanging numbers, but I’d guess it was me. This was when I learned her full name. She wrote it down with her number and so that’s how I could write it in my journal back in 1991 and how I could look her up on Facebook last spring.

I’m just bothered by the fact that if it isn’t a case of her memory being jumbled up she would say it was the other way around and that I kissed her and got her number from someone else because if you can lie about that, you can lie about other things. Again I am NOT saying she’s lying. I’m just saying she could be. But I’m not a mind reader. I can’t see into her mind and “see” if she’s lying or if she just doesn’t remember things correctly. I don’t think any less of her and it’s not like I’d go run and cancel the friend request thing if she came out and said she did lie. I just want her to be truthful about it is all, and why not? She was truthful about everything else. A little off on the timing of the calls, but I attribute that to the pig who wrote up the report, not her, as most pigs will lie and exaggerate every chance they get. Can’t blame her for them writing that I started calling her before we met and kept calling long after I was caught and in court for it.

I had a dream about us joking over who kissed who, but seriously and as I would tell anyone unless your memory truly has gone to hell, please don’t bullshit me. It serves no purpose other than to cause others to mistrust us when we hold things back or turn things around.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2010 Good morning. Before I get on with my work (and before Jesse gets noisy), my new tropical lotion smells like furniture polish and I’m up a pound. Guess that’s what I get for having that extra hash brown yesterday.

I’m keeping the bedroom door shut so the rat has one less room to cause trouble in when I feel like letting him out to run around and raise hell.

Maliheh’s late in coming to my blog again, and again I have to wonder if it has to do with me.

Later…

Just a quick entry to cap off the rest of the day. Especially since I don’t know if I’ll have time to write much over the weekend, and if I do I’ll be wanting to catch up on my story which Jesse wouldn’t let me work on today, assuming it’s too rainy for him to be able to make a racket.

That damn cock drove me crazy for nearly 5 hours “tending the farm.” You know, the one we don’t have. It sure sounded like we did, anyway. He was bulldozing God knows what up by his place. The day ended up pretty much going to waste as I could not concentrate on anything because that thing is so loud and obnoxious. It’s clouding up now and starting to rain, but in a few hours, the dogs will take over the racket as he heads into Sacramento overnight. That’s ok, though, as I’ll be crashing by then.

Tom was saying he was smoothing out ruts in the drive from all the rain we had, but he was clearly working up at his place today, not on the drive. I went out to see if I could get a sense of what was going on, hoping to run into him so I could ask how much longer it would take, but I could only catch a glimpse of him through the trees towards the back front of his place, heading towards us. He couldn’t have been in his backyard since he couldn’t get the thing back there and there’s nothing to bulldoze back there. You can’t see the backyard anyway with the house, hills and trees in the way unless you actually go into it. There’s nothing to bullshit in front either, so my guess is he was clearing the firebreak area, though it makes no sense to do this after fire season. Tom said some trees might’ve gone down. He might’ve been gathering firewood too, but whatever the hell he was doing, I just hope it won’t become a regular thing! Yet I fear that any day it’s sunny and not real hot, he’s going to be doing something. He’s the nervous type who just can’t sit still. Spending hours with a good book or in front of a TV simply isn’t him, and he has no computer either. I just think tending the land in ways that really annoy the hell out of me when I’m on days is going to be his new “job,” bad back or not.

Tom overheard something rather uncool at work and that’s other temps saying they’ve been temps for 11 months yet still not hired. I’m not at all surprised. Unfortunately, it’s a very common practice to hire temps so that employers don’t have to insure them. Most workers seem to be temps these days. But that’s ok. We don’t need insurance and I don’t have to go to a dentist. I’ve been dealing with dental pain since around 2004 and am plenty used to it by now. And the more teeth that die the less they hurt. It’s been much better since the last two died. Maybe I’ll be insured in a few more years if the so-called health reform thing really is for real and it really kicks in. If not, there’s always Medicare when I’m 65. We would still rather he have a good-paying job, even as just a temp, than no job at all. Getting a permanent position is very hard to do these days anyway, as I just said.

Still no visits from Maliheh today. Again, is she weaning her way off of my blog now that the story’s done? I realize she could just be busy, but I have a feeling I’m going to start seeing a pattern here. Perhaps she stuck around after the story to surprise me by still coming around, then just as I was all happy over that she decided to deflate my bubble. IDK, but it’s obvious she’s never going to like me or accept the friend invite. Oh well. We win some and we lose some in life. And I’m her loss as well, even if she can’t help but feel the way she feels and has every right to do so.

My OSU fan still comes around, surprisingly. I thought they were only coming for the story, but apparently not.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2010 I wasn’t going to do an entry, but I guess I could squeeze a quick one in before bed, though I should be up for a couple more hours.

If I didn’t love my rat so much I’d have grabbed the piece of vermin by the tail, opened the door and tossed him out. The furry bastard chewed one of my speaker wires right in half! Luckily Tom’s a real genius with stuff like that and he fixed it in just a few minutes.

I also really wish Jesse could give me a day off from the goddamn ATV and motorcycle! Is he going to do this every fucking day that it’s under 90º and not raining?! The motorcycle’s loud, but it’s not buzzing around and around the place like crazy for hours. Yet he went back and forth and back and forth on the fucking ATV like crazy for hours. He left around noon on the motorcycle and I figured next would come the barking, though it didn’t since we hit 70º out there and they prefer to go off when it’s colder. But then 10 minutes later he returned. I still can’t believe so much racket can come from where just one person lives. Just one person!

Just when I thought he would finally shut up for the day, I get hit with the bullshitter in the late afternoon. It’s either him or his fucking dogs! If I didn’t know any better I’d swear we were living on a farm with all the machinery noise we get hit with.

Sorry to do nothing but complain in this entry, LOL. Things could be worse! I still got part of the first chapter of my new book done.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2010 Jesse’s racket didn’t go on for too long, fortunately, and Tom said he actually did him a favor. I guess he had a small pile of brush in the drive for a while, and while it was easy enough to drive over, Tom was going to move it out of the way later on. By the sound and smell of it, Jesse was gathering and burning brush. That’s why the ATV sounded so close. Hopefully, he’ll stay put today. I have a lot of writing and language studying to do today.

As some of you know, for the longest time I was a very non-forgiving person. Easy to piss off and easy to lose. And while I’m trying to be more tolerant and accepting, I stopped communication with Marie for a handful of months because I couldn’t take her obsessive ways and paranoia. My inbox would be flooded every day with messages galore and I would be accused of “plotting” against her or not giving a damn if I didn’t reply instantly. Any talk of Maliheh or anyone else she knew I was attracted to in more than just a friendly way (even though I don’t ever expect to actually see Maliheh in person) would drive her insane with jealousy. As I told her, it’s ok to feel what you feel, but the way you’ve been handling it really puts a lot of stress on me. I’d be jealous too, for example, if I knew someone was with Maliheh (even though I can’t imagine us ever being able to cut it in a relationship anyway because we’re so different from each other and too similar in some ways as well), but while I’d feel jealous I would know and understand she has the right to live her life as she sees fit. And I would be happier for her if she was happy than I would be jealous.

While I think I may end up regretting it, I sent Marie a message on Facebook and told her that if she can not bombard and smother me with a million messages, and keep her paranoia at bay (I promised her I would never write about why she is the way she is), then she can say hello on my blog every now and then to let me know she’s alive and well. I do think of her from time to time and I did love her once. She then sent me a friend invite saying she’d email me. I accepted it but made it clear that I didn’t want to go back to doing a million emails and messages. That’s how trouble starts. I not only don’t want a million messages a day, but I don’t have time for that as I tried to tell her before. But for some reason, she seems to be afraid to come to my blog. Maybe that’s because she knows I’ll know it (if and when the stats happen to be working) and I think this is why I feel I can trust Maliheh and that she has nothing to hide or any evil intentions in mind for me; because she’s at least got the guts to show herself. waves hand Hello, good looking. :)

And now I’m running off to see what my adorable little ratty has decided to get into this morning. He’s probably tearing things up in the closet. shakes head

OMG, this is so funny! I just got a reply from Marie saying “LOL, yes boss” to my reminding her I’m not going to go back and forth a million times a day with the paranoia and the messages. So Maliheh’s my boss and I’m her boss, LOL!

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2010 I woke up this morning and the first thing I asked myself was, “Was yesterday just a dream? Did I only dream she contacted me? The REAL Maliheh?” Then I grinned ear to ear when I realized that no, it wasn’t a dream. She contacted me – yay! She really, really did. The real one. We disagreed on half the things we discussed, but she contacted me – yippee! She’s not at all pleased by my story, but she contacted me – woot! She may even think I’m ugly and the shittiest writer on earth, but she still contacted me – woo-hoo! I’m pretty ecstatic even if she didn’t exactly tell me what I wanted to hear at times. The biggest thing I disagree with is who kissed who, but if we’re going to sit and worry about every petty little detail from the past, we may as well all argue over what we had for dinner 10 years ago and what we saw on TV 20 years ago on a particular day. In other words who cares as long as we’re kind and respectful to each other from here on out?

Let me get my half-assed cyber girlfriend out of the way first and save the best for last. We ended up chatting on Facebook. She was at work and said that if she doesn’t reply right away it was cuz the boss man was around. It was 1am here and 10am there in Germany. For some reason, I didn’t feel that excitement I used to feel when we’d chat or swap messages. I found the conversation to be a bit boring, actually, though it was still nice. As she put it, she’s freezing her ass off at 5º C.

Also, she started learning English in 5th grade and needs it for her job as a financial sector, and she even lived in New York for a few years. She’s traveled to many countries but has never been to California. She’s more the Mediterranean type who loves the sun and sea so she goes to Turkey every 2-4 weeks cuz it’s cheap and less than a 3-hour flight and she loves the food and music there. I was actually the one who ended the conversation cuz my tummy was growling and I wanted to go eat, LOL.

I do like, however, that she’s a more “classier” flirt. She’s not cheap and slutty about it like Marie was where that’s all she talks about, thus giving the impression that’s all she cares about. From Nane, I get just an occasional reference that actually makes it more special when she compliments something about me or my appearance.

Now to get on with someone in my own damn country who actually pays more attention to me and cares a little about me – yes, I know it’s not literally about yours truly but about what she says – while I turn the rat loose for his exercise and to no doubt get into some sort of shit he’s not supposed to get into. He likes to cause trouble a hell of a lot more than I ever did, LOL.

I said seeing her on my list always makes me smile, but when I first checked my stats today, believe me when I say it isn’t humanly possible to smile as much as I saw her. Yeah, the stats are way, way messed up. They’re getting worse all the time too, but I’m not going to say how many times she was listed. I’m supposed to be sticking to feelings, not facts, LOL.

I have thought about it and decided to pretty much abandon the story. Yes, I could edit it. That’s part of what we writers do. But seeing that those who wanted to read it already have, I see no point in taking on such a huge job when I have other projects lined up, including one which I’ve been asked to write that I might get paid for. I’m not at liberty to discuss that part of it right now. So unless I do decide to re-work the manuscript later on down the road, Evil Amongst the Evergreens is history.

The biggest bummer about yesterday’s contact – even more of a bummer than her saying I kissed her – was to learn that she is obviously less than pleased about the story. I don’t know why she didn’t come forth a lot sooner than she did to tell me she wanted out of it, as I’d have been perfectly willing to give her the boot and kick her out, but I guess she had her reasons. Apparently, she misunderstood me about not contacting me. When I thought she was the one bugging me on Formspring I told her something like, “I know it’s you! Do NOT contact me again.” But after I learned who it really was and apologized for accusing her, I thought she knew I was open to contact at that point on, but I guess not. But hey, Maliheh and I have always done a much better job of misunderstanding each other than actually getting where the other’s coming from, LOL. In fact, I just might worry about us if we ever started “getting” each other!

I’m very sorry she’s not at all flattered or honored in any way where the story’s concerned. But she has a right to feel as she does though she is definitely a first. Many times I’ve based characters on people I know and they were thrilled. Using real people helps me to visualize and to make the characters “real.” As I was telling someone the other day, visualization is very important. If you can’t see or feel things within your story, your readers won’t either.

Some people have suggested that it may not be that she doesn’t like the story or the plot or how it’s written, but may actually fear that I may profit from it. Well, she hasn’t said anything either way other than to get her name and description out as well as the past, but I don’t think she worries about the potential for me to make money from it. First of all, life may not always be what we plan it, but I didn’t write the story with money in mind and as I’m sure she can see, the story isn’t that marketable. I may not be the worst writer, but I’m not the best. There are many authors that could’ve done a much better job with it. It’s also not a full-length novel because it’s under 100,000 words. But at nearly 62,000, it’s too much to be a short story.

Alison says it’s cute how I went out of my way to please her, LOL. Yeah, anyone else I’d tell them to fuck off and don’t ever tell me what to do, but as long as my “boss” doesn’t demand something over my head or totally off the wall, I don’t mind behaving and her keeping tabs on me, LOL. I write, she supervises. That seems to be the way it is, LOL.

Speaking of supervising, I had a reverse dream premonition, you could say. I dreamt she left a comment after she actually did. Just in case it wasn’t just a backward premonition, though, the first thing I did when I got up was to see if anything else came in from her, but nope. I doubt we’ll ever speak again. :( Then again, that’s what I said before about her contacting me in the first place.

Anyway, I had another dream of her that was a bit more X-rated and definitely a lot more fun. But I’ll get to it later since I can already hear the rat getting into trouble. I also have to run and get my ab crunches and push-ups out of the way.

Later…

I knew it! I just fucking knew it. It was coming up on 11:00 and I said to myself, “That damn pest of a landlord up the hill that can’t sit still and shut up for long is gonna be at his fucking engine gunning games any second.” I knew he was about due for it because we’re entering the rainy season when thankfully, he’ll only have so many days to make a racket, break my train of thought, and annoy the hell out of me. Sure enough, he fired up the bullshitter, then I heard him buzzing about on the ATV. He even went zipping by this place for some reason I can’t understand. He didn’t stop to get anything from his shit pile, so did he just want attention? To annoy me?

I’m going to have to start sleeping with the sound machines really cranked up when I’m on nights because I know he’ll be down here much more often. Or at least outside running the bullshitter.

On the bright side, those dogs sure have been a million times quieter. No more 8-hour barking sprees day after day, though we’ll get hit with it every Friday night that he continues to spend in Sacramento. I’m hoping he still won’t want to be here much in general as is usually the case, but if he’s out of work, there are only so many places he can go so often. But yeah, he doesn’t seem to want to be here much, and when he is he lives outside whenever he can running loud shit.

I’m blasting music now to drown him out and I’m not even answering the door if he comes to it. I’ve asked enough times to be called first.

We’re going to get rained on again in a couple of days so that should chase him indoors for a while. I’m totally jealous of Maliheh’s weather right now! It’s so cold here at just under 60º and she’s near 90º. No fair! How can that be a cold climate, I wonder, though my research clearly says it is. Not like MA or OR, but colder than here. It rarely snows here, but that’s not supposed to be the case where she is. I hope I’m not saying too much about her “life,” but she can let me know if talking about her weather/climate is a no-no she wants to reprimand me for or not, but I think it’s ok. :)

As if noisy landlords and cold weather weren’t bad enough, the rat jumped up on my lap waving his little arms. I could see he had something stuck to him. Sure enough, he managed to jump on the shelf where our stamps were and so he had postage stamps decorated all over him. :( Since when did having a rat get to be like having a two-year-old around? So I pry the stamps off he’s got stuck on him and he squeals at me. Well, he’s the one who was dumb enough to mess with them!

Tom said that he didn’t know if this was good or bad, but that they let a regular worker at work go, and a new temp failed to show up. As I said, it would help to know why the regular was let go in order to say if it was good or bad. He said he’s not sure, but thinks the guy was missing too much work. If that’s the case, then it’s a good thing. As long as they’re not downsizing! But from what he can tell the company does a lot of business and is really thriving well. They said 2-4 months when they hired him. Well, we’re just now past the 2-month marker so that’s good.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2010 Wow! My God, just wow. I finally heard from Maliheh! I copied the comment she left me on my blog, followed by my reply, “20 questions,” and random facts about myself which I posted yesterday. She left it while I was sleeping. I got it when I got up at midnight. At the end of all this stuff, I will do today’s regular entry.

She wrote: The facts from 19 years ago. I meet you at a bar called Pearl Street - that would have been a Wednesday night. I don’t remember who introduced us but if it was as you say we met thru a person that was in a signing club at Umass (not a class) . I talked to you for a few minutes. I danced like I did every Wednesday with my self or with others around me. If I had a drink it was only one.You kissed me on the cheek on your way out. You got my number from the phone book or somebody not me. You called me about a week later left a message “Dear John”. I never pranked you. The police confirmed that from the records the phone company provided, this was necessary before a wire tap could be put on my line. Lets put more facts out there. Your “little harmless phone pranks” including many calls at all hours of the night. Some nights hour after hour and because the police were recording them I had to wake up andanswer them. Unplugging the phone was not an option. We were gather evidence against you. Its important to note that this whole experience of your annoying calls took place on and off from 5-18-91 to 10-11-91 yes five months. Remember the guy staying with you from Arizona? The one that called him self Francois / Darrylsaid he had a black Camaro calling from a number in S Deerfield who said he was gonna come to my house and beat me up??Harmlessphone “pranks”after the police came to your place and questioned you about this you left a message on my answering machine saying “ a friend from Arizona was staying with you and he happened to get my numberand happened to call and threaten my life.” You called me even after your Attorney and the police advised you to leave me alone. Some facts about today. I have not contacted you as I was instructed not to but felt I had to this one time. My friends from Facebook did not contact you. You went down my list and friend requested them. They went to your Facebook account then to your Journal and found your entries.There you had written damaging untruths about me - in short you defamed my character. One example is you claimed in your journal I had been convicted of harassing phone calls, 1986 for theft and 1979 for possession of a controlled substance. I don’t have a criminal record. People that really know me know that. Note everyone that added you deleted you after I talked to them. Now to the most important point I need to make. I didn’t ask you to write a story with me and you in it. The story you wrote using my name and description in the past and present is without my permission. You can keep your story but you will need to make the following changes: remove my name, and anything pertaining to 19 years ago in Massachusetts between us, and any similarity to me past or present. Do not ever use my name in or for any book, short story,article, similar medium or any events pertaining to my life in the past, now, or in the future. You never had my permission to do so and you never will. You have written many times if you hear from me and I ask you to stop you will. I have not asked you to stop just make the changes I have listed. Now is your chance to prove your honesty and integrity to show the kind of person you really are.

My reply: I read your message several times so as to make sure I understand what you’re trying to say and that I have not missed anything. Before I reply, please note that while you are absolutely correct in a lot of it, you’re just plain wrong on some things. Just wrong. But please, please don’t think I’m trying to upset you in any way by disagreeing with some things you’ve said! That is NOT my intention. I do NOT want to fight, argue or offend you! But I simply can’t sit here and say I agree with things I absolutely don’t remember or that I recall as being different than what you’ve described. I understand, though, that 19 years is a long time. And it’s easy to get some things jumbled up over the passage of so much time. All I want is to say that I’m not trying to change your way of thinking, your feelings, your beliefs or anything like that. I’m not even asking for your forgiveness or your friendship at this point. Speaking of the friend request thing – do you even know it’s there? Just wondering if it’s showing up on your end with all the problems Facebook has.

First off, I sense a lot of anger and hatred pouring from your comment, and hey, that’s your right if you really do feel these things. You have every right to despise me, but I want you to know up front that there are only so many times I can apologize to you for my wrongdoings. In other words, I’m not going to try to win you over. I’m not going to work, fight or try for your approval, friendship or anything else from you as I am no longer sure we can be friends and move on if you’re still this angry at me. Again, it’s your right, but I’m even wondering if maybe I should cancel the friend invite I sent you as some people have suggested I should. I just don’t want to be “friends” with someone who hates me this much or at least appears to. But I don’t want to make the mistake of jumping the gun like I did before either. I guess for now I will wait and see if you have anything else to say to me. I just don’t want to bother with those that don’t want to bother with me. That doesn’t change the attraction part – I was attracted to you, I still am, and maybe I always will be. But I’m not about to try to get you to feel things you don’t feel is all I’m saying, even though, I still wouldn’t mind getting to know you and becoming friends if that were at all possible.

The first thing I should make clear to you is that I researched internet laws when I first started writing publicly in the summer of 2008. Technically I have a right to use real full names, first and last, and to say what I want as long as I am not writing for profit and the person cannot prove in a court of law that anything I said actually did indeed cause them emotional suffering or financial loss of any kind. You said it yourself, those that know you know the truth about you as wrong as I admit I was for saying the shit I said. But to anyone else, you were simply “Maliheh” and that could be any Maliheh anywhere in the world. I have made it a point not to use real last names in my journal.

Ok, now I’m going to respond to your message in as much of an orderly fashion as I can so as not to miss anything.

“I have not contacted you until now because I have been instructed not to do.”

But I told you a long time ago after sending you the “do NOT contact me again” message that I later realized it wasn’t you who had harassed me on Formspring or elsewhere. I thought it went without saying that you knew you could contact me from that point on. So if anyone instructed you not to since then it wasn’t me. Just to set the record straight from here on out, you can contact me anytime you want unless I tell you otherwise. I know how to use FB and Yahoo’s block feature, though I cannot block specific individuals from viewing my blog without setting it private and that’s not going to happen. I do sometimes make private entries or use the “whisper” feature these blogs come with that allows only myself or any friends I may choose to see certain things within public entries.

I sent you a message in regards to the last message someone left about what supposedly happened to you one night when you got up to answer one of my calls, asking if it was true or not, but again I heard absolutely nothing in response from you so I didn’t know what to think at times.

I admit it was totally wrong of me to accuse you of playing with me on Formspring like I did. If it hadn’t been for the timing I never would have suspected and automatically assumed like a jerk it was you. It started just two weeks after I first contacted you on FB.

I also admit I was wrong for the mean things I said to you and that I handled things very poorly when I thought you were harassing me.

You are correct – I did add your friends, but I swear one of them did contact me right as I friended them about some kind of joke they wanted to play on you, but I didn’t want to get involved. At this time I was saying to myself, “Hey, this is stupid. Quit being an ass, leave her alone, let the past stay in the past, and move on!” And you’re also correct in that they didn’t all unfriend me right away. I removed those who didn’t remove me when I decided I wanted to try to make amends with you. I considered apologizing to your friends but figured I would be the last person they’d want to hear from again, even if it was to say I’m sorry.

I did later write to tell you that some people were questioning whether or not it was really you contacting me and asked you to reply if it wasn’t you but you never did. And so when you didn’t reply, I still assumed at the time that it was you I was dealing with.

I also gave you the chance up front to ask me to either not post or to change things with the story, saying I would go ahead and post it as is if I didn’t hear from you. And again I didn’t, so I posted it as is. Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t want your first name in it when I first told you I was going to post it as is unless I heard anything from you? As I said, I’m not legally obligated to remove it and I have stated up front that not all the events in the story are true. However, as a courtesy to you, I have removed the story since changing the name would be way too much work as it would be to remove past references. I’m pretty sure I got it all. If there’s anything else you want removed, you can contact me with the entry title and I will think about it. I have considered your “gag order” request, too – or demand, I should say – and yes, I will refrain from mentioning you in my blog from now on, and if I do it will only be in a vague way, nothing bad, and maybe I’ll even give you a bogus first name. Meanwhile, if you dislike me that much and feel you are bothered by my journal or story, I think you should stop reading it. Unless I’m reading you wrong – and I apologize up front if I am – you were never attracted to me, you do not like me, you are not interested in anything about me or my life, and therefore I would understand if you chose to stop coming here. It may be for the best, but that’s up to you. I can’t control what you do and I wouldn’t want to if I could.

You must keep in mind that I can’t control other people’s actions either and that some people may still leave comments about you, even if half of them can’t seem to spell your name right. I thought about disabling the anonymous comment thing but decided against it. If someone says anything nasty or threatening about you, however, then you bet I’ll remove it. But don’t think for a minute I’m going to be held accountable for what others may do. Again, those who know you know the truth, and your last name is not printed here so I’m not sure why your first name in the story bothers you even though I have come to learn that you weren’t the one who asked me to write it.

So the bar was called Pearl Street, huh? For some reason, I thought it was North Star. So it was a club and not a class – sorry. Yeah, I was with a girl named Kim. She was an RN living next door (Elm St. in S. Dfld.), married to a Greenfield cop named Mark, but they’ve long since divorced. And yes, it was a Wednesday night.

As I later acknowledged after I got over my anger when I thought you were harassing me on Formspring and Ask, I know you don’t have a criminal record and I know you weren’t drunk. However, I SWEAR it was YOU who kissed me on the cheek. I remember it clearly! And we DID exchange numbers, though I don’t remember who suggested it. How else could I have gotten your number and why would I ask someone else for it and not you? Without knowing your last name, I wouldn’t have been able to simply look you up. Also, I wouldn’t have had the guts to kiss you or anyone even quickly on the cheek. I wasn’t so shy that I wouldn’t go up and talk to someone, but kissing someone on the cheek I’d just met, that just wasn’t me. Again, not to offend or piss you off; just telling you what I personally remember to be the case.

“You called me about a week later left a message “Dear John”.”

We spoke a few times before our final conversation which did take place about a week after we met, remember? We talked about various things like how you quit smoking, the guitar…

I’m sorry I really, really truly believed you were interested in me and that my message came off as a Dear John message. If you say you weren’t interested, then you weren’t. You would know, wouldn’t you? And if you say you didn’t prank me after I pranked you, then I’m going to take your word for it. I always believed that the guy that called me was connected either to the cops or the crisis center, but I thought the girl sounded like the one on your outgoing message at the time, but again, if it wasn’t you, then it wasn’t you and it doesn’t matter all these years later since it won’t change anything. I was just curious about it, but now you have told me and so now I know.

There’s no way the calls could’ve started in May and went on through October simply because we didn’t meet until June and I got caught in September. As soon as a detective called me on the phone to say I was being charged for calling you, it scared the shit out of me and I stopped immediately. So if you received calls before or after June - September, though I don’t remember the actual start/end dates - it was NOT from me.

Andy (Daryl) and Fran were not staying with me. We were using the 3-way feature. Fran turned out to be a complete wacko and I’m lucky he never harmed me in any way. I have not spoken to him in a million years. I am not only so very sorry that my calls kept you up at night, but that he threatened you. Andy and I were VERY much against threatening anyone, but that is something Fran would have done, and again, I’m very sorry he did that to you, though I was not aware of it until now.

“Some nights hour after hour and because the police were recording them I had to wake up andanswer them.”

But you didn’t answer some of them. Initially, you answered them, but then you stopped and your machine came on after a while. Not trying to play down what I did, make excuses or deny that it was no fun at all for you, but it seemed that once you realized the wires weren’t crossed and it was just pranks, you stopped answering and your machine came on.

The police never came to talk to me as my lawyer advised me not to talk to them under any circumstances, though they did call and ask to come over. I told them I had been ordered not to speak to them and hung up the phone.

“You have written many times if you hear from me and I ask you to stop you will.”

Yes, boss.

“Now is your chance to prove your honesty and integrity to show the kind of person you really are.”

I don’t have to “prove” anything to anyone, but I am being honest and upfront with you. I do want to get along even if you will never like me or want to be friends. I have no ill feelings towards you or the desire to make trouble for you. If this isn’t good enough for you, then I give up.

Again, and for the last time, I am very sorry for the lost sleep and the stress I caused you 19 years ago. I am sorry that Fran threatened you. I am sorry I falsely accused you of the Formspring thing. I am sorry I wrote some nasty things to you and about you. I am sorry I bothered your friends. I will not repeat any of these mistakes again, and if I have even the slightest doubt about anything ever again in the future, I will contact you and hope that you will reply and clear things up for me right away.

I have a lot to do today so if you need to contact me again and I don’t get back to you right away, I’m not ignoring you. I will tend to it first chance I get.

I realize you and I aren’t going to agree on everything that happened and that’s ok. Does it really matter – 19 years later – who kissed who? I think all that should really matter is that we have each gotten things off our chest (and I thank you very much for finally stepping forward and speaking your mind, whether I agree with everything you said or not) and that we don’t make trouble for each other in the future. From here on out I wish you the very best in life.

The 20 questions:

Were you really not interested in me?

Were you behind any of the prank calls I got?

Do you have any idea who may’ve been impersonating you?

What do you think of the story?

What made you move to where you currently live?

What have you done for work over the years, and what do you do now?

Are you single, and if not how long have you been with someone?

Are you happy in life?

Are you in good health?

What types of music do you like?

What are your favorite foods?

Do you believe in psychics?

Do you still have cats for pets or any other pets?

What are your hobbies?

Have you been with a lot of people, and do you usually prefer casual encounters or to be more serious?

Do you have an “ideal” type of woman? If so, what does she look like and what’s her personality like?

Do you have any phobias?

Did you ever think of me over the years despite the problems we had?

What went through your mind when I first contacted you? (other than oh shit! LOL)

What are your favorite travel destinations other than the moonlit path of my imagination?

And these were the random facts I posted yesterday about myself:

I prefer milk chocolate to dark chocolate.

I would have been a slut in my early 20s had not so many women found me too short and too feminine.

I will drink orange juice, but I can’t stand anything else with oranges, including the smell of oranges.

I’ve been in funny farms and jails before, but I swear I’ve had my act together since 1993!

I have not seen my immediate family since the 90s and I doubt I ever will again.

I love rats, mice and snakes, but spiders creep me out.

I refuse to eat anything salty, spicy or citrus.

I usually brush or straighten my hair out and I actually have spiral curls which I hate.

Although I’m small I could probably kick your ass if pissed enough.

I don’t worry what people think, they don’t do it very often anyway.

I dwell on the past and worry about the future a little more than I should.

I want to fly a plane. A BIG plane.

I can run a few miles, do 100 ab crunches and about a dozen push-ups and I’m almost 45.

I’m partially deaf but I can identify musical notes without reading music or seeing them played on an instrument.

I got fired from just about every job I ever had except for dancing, singing and writing. Even the one as an “adviser” on a site after someone asked what they should do about their cheating GF and I suggested wetting her pinky finger and sticking it in an electrical socket.

I hate temperatures below 80º.

My tummy hurts from having too much candy and not enough real food since I’ve been up today.

I’m not big on jewelry. All I wear is my wedding band and I haven’t worn earrings in years.

No Tom wouldn’t want to watch if I got together with another woman. Despite being very tolerant and open-minded, he would rather not hear about it.

I am pro-choice and believe everyone should be able to marry who they love.

I’m not skinny or fat but kind of muscular.

My hair is usually too long.

I’m fair-skinned and so I burn instead of tan.

A woman in uniform turns me on.

I still like Barbie, though I quit collecting her years ago.

I don’t mind rain, but I HATE snow.

For a while, I was a bit racist about a decade ago. These days, however, I have no discrimination. I hate everybody equally.

I wonder why so many people don’t know when to use there, their or they’re. Or the difference between to and too and your and you’re.

Whoa! I was just going to do this entry when I got this:

I got the Facebook mess..its me…I am not going to start this back and forth but I want you to know I think I was misunderstood.. its a Free country say what you feel about me, you and your friends I don’t care about that… just don’t use my name in or for any book, short story, article, similar medium or any events pertaining to my life in past now or in the future. no need to go to the extreme. I have a friend that told me if you did the story in word you can with one click change my name to another. im sure you can alter the story and still keep the story line in tack screenwriters do that all the time..Thank you for respecting my wishes .As far as the facts yea long time ago thats why I payed for the police report and was going mostly off of that . the real Maliheh

I replied with: Hey, good to hear from you again. :) Your friend is right - one click will change your name. I just thought it easier to delete all the posts here since I don’t have any way to one-click them here in the blog, so I just kicked it all off entirely. I do have it in Word and will go and make the changes there in case I ever re-post it here or anywhere else, or if you change your mind and want a copy of the final edit. Yeah, it was a long time ago, and sadly, cops are often like the media - lies, hypes and half-truths mixed in with whole truths. Regardless of the facts, the past is the past and I will use my best judgment as to what I say about you (like if you show up in my dreams like you sometimes do, LOL) and I will keep you out of Storyland. :) Have a good day!

NOTE: This was before she eventually dumped me and she basically forfeited her right to have her first name (I never use last names unless it’s a public figure) kept out of my blog.

Ok, now that I think I’m done hearing from her for the day, even though she’s been checking my blog every 15 minutes, LOL, I’ll discuss my thoughts and feelings on the matter.

There was certainly a lot less anger and hate radiating from her last message.

I was really surprised, alright! I was really beginning to think I’d never hear from her. But then when she didn’t kick the friend invite out (which is still pending), I didn’t know what to think. But why she chose to jump out at me in public instead of in private seems strange. Perhaps to defend herself to my followers?

And why deny she kissed me and that we exchanged numbers unless her memory’s just screwed up? To thwart off suspicions that she may’ve been interested in me?

Even if she came out and told me her life story, and I am still curious about her, I will not post anything she may tell me. Not even something as trivial as her favorite foods.

But the story’s a whole different ballgame. As she pointed out, I can change her name in one click, but the more I think about it, the more I think altering the story to omit any past references would be a bit of work because the storyline is based so much on the past. Yeah, it could be done (hey, I’m supposed to be a pro) and in a way that would keep the storyline intact, but I’m not sure it’s worth the effort. I will make that decision as I make the final edit. If I don’t remove the past then I just won’t post it anywhere. So if she ever does decide she wants a final copy, she’ll see a different name, but she may still see the past.

But why wait until the story is over to come out and say she wants out of it? No supposed gag order would’ve kept me from speaking up about a story I didn’t want to be in, or the prospect of someone impersonating me.

I wonder if she’ll ever accept the friend invite (if she sees it and it’s not a glitch on Facebook’s part) and if she’ll keep visiting my blog. Perhaps she’ll still be curious as to what’s being said about her. I hope she’ll still come around. :)

So she paid for the police report, huh? No wonder she listed so many dates and names, even if most of them are bullshit. I was beginning to think she either had an incredible memory or that she herself kept some kind of journal.

I don’t know why she came at me in public and not private. To defend herself to my followers perhaps?

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2010 Before bed I pulled two mugs out and put cream and sugar in one of them, planning to have soup in the empty one, then refrigerate the one with cream and sugar like I usually do before bed. That way I can just pull it out when I get up and brew my coffee right into it. But I wanted a cup of soup before bed, and what should I do but be dumb enough to dump the pouch of soup mix into my chocolate creamer. So I ended up with chocolate chicken soup! beats head

The most amazing thing going on (and the nicest): she’s still here. And I’m still pending. Hmm…interesting. Muy, muy interesante. This has left me more confused as to what could be on her mind. Or has it really? Well, I guess that if I’m not even sure if I’m more confused or not means that yeah, I must really be more confused, LOL.

Many people had asked and suggested she only came around for the story and I was always quick to agree and say something like, “Well, you don’t think she came around because she’s just dying to know when my hair reaches my waist, do ya?” But maybe she does want to know that yes, it’s finally there when you pull all the damn curls straight. And right now I’m sitting here with these lovely plum-colored little lint balls plastered all over me from our new towels. I don’t know why. I washed the damn things first.

The second most amazing thing is that it’s finally raining – really raining – since sometime late last May or early June. Ah, but I’ve been dreaming of Florida or somewhere in the southeast like crazy lately! I’d even settle for Georgia or Alabama! Even Andy’s going to be having better weather than us for a while. We shouldn’t be having highs in the 50s till December! It’s like global warming is warming the eastern part of the country, but making the west colder. :(

I got up to find a message in my Yahoo box that Nane left me on her Facebook wall saying, “I did. :)))” and I’m thinking, did what? Then I realized it was in response to my telling her a while back to enjoy her vacation. She’s back home now and I’m NOT sending another thing to her unless she either sends me something first or pays some kind of attention to me by at least peeking over her shoulder every now and then at this blog or something like that.

Yesterday we spent about $150 at Walmart on all kinds of odds and ends. I got a new body pillow and some sports bras. I stupidly got size 34 when I should’ve gotten 32, but at least my size 12 jeans that should be size 10, or even size 8, won’t be sliding down these hips anymore. I got a white belt with silver square studs. It’s shiny and flashy, but still casual and goes with everything.

Instead of expensive perfume as much as I miss my White Shoulders, I got a couple of those Designer Imposters I love. Wanna Play? is ok, but Babe is awesome! I’m wearing that right now. I’m obsessed with good smells. I have Babe perfume on, a Hawaiian-scented plug-in air freshener in here, and Jasmine incense burning in the other room. And of course I was quick to reach for my patchouli lotion after showering with my honey shampoo and peach body wash, LOL.

Later…

Nane’s been on Facebook for hours and ignoring me, and Maliheh made her first visit to my blog right around when I figured she would. :) If I don’t hear from her by the end of the year, then I guess I never will.

And Tom’s out grocery shopping while we get pummeled with an incredible amount of rain. It’s like December out there. :(

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2010 I’m so excited about finishing my book! It ended up at just under 62K words, so it’s not quite a full-length novel, but it’s not quite a short story either. I’m also looking forward to doing the final editing of it and moving on to my next book!

The editing shouldn’t take any longer than mid-November. I’ll try to do 1-2 chapters a day.

I’ve been rewarded for it with lots of nice feedback, 4 “outstanding” votes on my new poll, and my ovary acting up again. It was a nice long break I was enjoying from that mid-cycle pain, but yeah, I guess I’ve had some kind of a cyst on it for quite a while now. In a few days or less, it will go away.

I’ve heard nothing at all from Nane in days. No messages, no blog peek-a-boos, no nothing. But I know she’s not home yet either. She’ll be back in Germany tonight which will be around lunchtime here. Maybe I’ll hear from her after she gets settled.

Looking forward to our early morning shopping spree at Walmart. We agreed it would be ok to spend $50 a month on fun stuff and still be able to save a few hundred a month while we’re at it. We could use some new bath towels and other stuff around the place, so I made a little list of some things to check out. Of course being the perfume junkie that I am means a stop in the smelly section, LOL.

My jeans were falling off (I’ve got to get a new belt) and I took them off, looked at the tag, and it’s no wonder! It’s a size 12. What was my mom thinking when she sent them?

Maliheh made another late-night check of my blog last night and tonight, and was in right around when I expected her to be in this morning for the last chapter. I half-expected her to run and dump the friend invite after she read it, but nope. It’s still there. So that leaves me thinking of 4 possibilities. 1. She dumps it after I email her the final copy. 2. She accepts it at some point. 3. She leaves it pending forever to play with me. 4. She’s waiting for my birthday to accept it.

I once mentioned almost being her birthday present since I re-entered her life the day after it, though I didn’t know it at the time. Then I added that I hoped she’d be my birthday present in return.

I’m a little surprised she’s still coming around as much, but just a little. I figured she’d be curious to check out the comments on the last chapter.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2010 So what is it with all the afro cocks wanting to friend me on MyOpera??? I’m kind of getting sick of all the friend collectors out there.

Maliheh must be getting really anxious about the end of the story, as well as the comments because she not only returned 15 minutes after she first came in early yesterday morning once she realized I was on at the time replying to “comments,” but she was also in as late as midnight last night her time. Wonder how early she’ll be in today? I just know I’m gonna miss her coming around when the story’s done!

Someone told me that they read my last book, Digital Confessions, and were so freaked out by it that they couldn’t read any more of my stories. I’ve got to admit that one was both amusing and flattering. As a suspense writer, I better scare the shit out of you at least a little bit or else I’ve failed to do my job properly, LOL.

I’d love to finish my book now but I’m exhausted, and if I try to work when I’m tired I know I’ll screw up. I caught a missing quote in my last chapter and so I added it in where it was supposed to be. Hopefully, it will be done within 1-3 more days. I’m going to try to finish it in one more chapter, but it may take two. Not sure if I’m going to do an epilogue yet. The book has no prologue as of yet, but a prologue is not needed for an epilogue. We’ll just see how things go later on tonight before I decide on what to do.

It’s getting exciting moving to the end of the end! It’s just about time to tie those loose ends up and bring everything together to give it the final touches of a finished novel! Or hope to anyway, LOL. Either way, I’m looking way forward to it! reaches for those last few strings In 12 hours or so I will hopefully be tying it all up! Yay!!! Oh, and be prepared to vote, I told them, on MyOpera when it’s done. I’m going to add a poll asking what they thought of the story. :)

Been loving the quiet mornings that come with Jesse not working. I know we’ve got another week or two before it’s that time of year when the dogs bark like crazy, and that Jesse’s still not going to want to be here much when he goes on disability, but at least he won’t be leaving at 5am when the dogs would be at their worst until 8:00 or 9:00. The later he leaves, the less barking they do.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2010 Apparently, my German is still pretty bad because I thought Nane was to be in Turkey for just 4 days and that her flight home was canceled. But she was actually talking about a balloon ride being canceled due to rain that she was to go on in Turkey. Goes to show how much I’ve been neglecting my German studies lately since I still prefer to stick with my Spanish and Italian. German’s just so ugly!

Anyway, Nane just responded to my wall post saying that I didn’t know what country she was in right now, but that I hope she’s ok wherever she is. She said she was still in Turkey and was fine and that her vacation was for two weeks, and I’m thinking to myself – two weeks?! That’s what she calls a “small round trip?”

I signed off by telling her to enjoy the rest of her vacation and she said, “Thanks, I’ll try.”

Does this mean she hasn’t been having a good time? Either way, she’ll be back Saturday night, she said.

I was watching this video about The Diet Solution and how they say that what you eat matters more with weight loss than how many calories you have. I always believed it was all in the calories, and that exercise doesn’t cause weight loss, but it helps. I’m always open to trying new things and I could still stand to lose 10-15 more pounds. It explained why certain foods are better for your metabolism and all that and so I’m slowly “unprocessing” myself and trying to lay off those processed foods. Even the diet bars are said to be bad. I guess the more harmful chemicals we eat, the harder our liver has to work and therefore it doesn’t do as good of a job with making the good foods benefit us like they’re supposed to.

I’m just glad Tom makes a lot of money so I don’t have to worry about getting more expensive food since it’s usually the cheap stuff that’s bad for you.

I had an avocado for the first time in my life last night and they sure are good. At least I don’t think I ever had raw avocados before. I looked up the calories online and when I saw that there are 320 calories in the things I knew it had to be at least somewhat good and filling and it was. Not sweet, but a unique and distinct taste with a very smooth and creamy texture.

It’s only been two days since changing my eating habits, and even though I doubt I could ever bring myself to give up my fake sugar and gourmet coffee creamers, I’ve already lost a couple of pounds. I’m trying to stick to unprocessed foods and more foods with just one ingredient. I’m going to avoid packaged snacks, diet bars, and frozen meals more often. And bread too, because it raises your insulin level which makes sugar.

Ever since I said “at least Maliheh thinks of me every day and pays at least some attention to me,” she seems to have come around less. Her last hit was earlier than usual yesterday. Is she trying to show me that no, she doesn’t care?

Later…

Well, if Maliheh wanted to show she didn’t care, it was only for yesterday. Today she “cared” 7 hours later than yesterday. The only significant change that’s been going on for more than just a day or two is that she makes her last hit in the early evenings instead of late at night. But her first hit is usually mid-morning as always.

As Tom and I were discussing the other night, we’re adventurers. It’s the way we’ve always been and probably the way we always will be. In other words, we don’t usually stay in one place for long. And despite the fact that each move got more and more disastrous for us, my adventurous side is fighting with my logical side. My logical side is saying to stay put. It’s safer and easier this way. But my adventurous side wants to up and run to someplace new that she’s never lived in before. I’m thinking more and more southeast these days. But we’re not going to be stupid either like we were in the past and throw away a lot of money. Money may not be everything but it’s still a necessity, so if he’s still making good money when it comes time to buy a place, I’m not going to want to move.

I’ve moved in Storyland from the beginning of the end to the middle of the end, and hopefully I’ll be able to wrap things up in 2-3 more chapters. I’m just not going to reach the end of the end and begin tying up loose ends to put it all together before the end of the week. It’s getting close, though – yay! It’s exciting to finish this project and move on to new ones. :)

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2010 I’ve been so busy doing other things that I almost didn’t make an entry today.

There’s really not much to update on. Nane made a quick update on her wall and I guess she’s home, but I haven’t heard from her and so I haven’t contacted her. Like I said, at least Maliheh thinks of me every day and pays at least some attention to me even if she ignores my messages, LOL.

We moved the rat into the big cage that is about 3’ tall, 3’ wide, and 2’ deep, but he escaped. He’s not quite full-grown yet. Ah, but then I made some adjustments and now I think I’ve got it pretty escape-proof, but we’ll see. He’ll come to visit me in here if he breaks loose.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2010 This is going to be a long entry, so if you’re bored by power outages, cute but naughty rats, and the idea of me missing my German cyber GF I’m beginning to suspect I’ll never hear from again, this entry will probably bore the hell out of you. :)

After having both good and bad dreams where Maliheh and I would be happily chatting when she wasn’t telling me how much she hated me, I awoke at 10:30 to the sound of the fan winding down and everything suddenly becoming deadly quiet save for the distant freeway traffic. I knew right away the power went out but wasn’t worried since it’s usually back on in an hour or two.

I couldn’t call anyone since my phone only works with the computer, so as Tom later said, this was our wake-up call saying we should get me a cell phone.

Around noon I went up the hill to see if Jesse was around, but of course he wasn’t. By 2:00 I decided to leave a note in the box on the tree at the fork letting him know that the power had been out for nearly 4 hours, but then I spotted his truck up at his place. So I walked on up and called out to him. The dogs only gave a quick bark or two, then quickly recognized me and wagged their tails happily.

“Yeah, come on up,” I heard Jesse call out, but then he came down a flight of stairs at the side of the house. I could tell he was drunk too, and that getting him to take some action as to finding out what was going on was going to take a little work on my part, LOL.

He asked what was going on and I told him that’s what I came to ask him since my phone was worthless without a computer.

During the half-hour or so I was up there with him, he told me 5 times that he just got in, he asked me 5 times how long the power had been out, and he told me 5 times that his dogs were married and that they’d had 10 kids together. rolls eyes

We were sitting in this little breezeway between his garage and a cement wall built to prevent mudslides. There are decks on both sides of the house, and I guess the actual living space is upstairs over the garage. The house itself is old and ugly looking, but the grounds weren’t as trashy as I thought they’d be. He even has some nice plants up there, some with flowers.

So he got himself a beer and me some water, then said he’d just come back from the bar and heard about some power outage around here, and that they were building a bridge nearby and they might’ve hit something while they were at it.

I suggested he call the electric company and see what they had to say about it, and he said he was “pretty sure” he paid the bill.

You better have fucking paid it! I’m thinking to myself. I wasn’t about to be put out by his drunken laziness or irresponsibility!

So being as drunk as he is, which I would say wasn’t overly drunk, but still obvious enough that he’d had a few, he said he wasn’t sure how to go about contacting the electric company, and could I do it? Resisting the urge to sigh, roll my eyes, and basically beat my head into the wall (and his too), I told him no, I couldn’t because it was in his name. So I told him to go see if he had a copy of his bill because there would be a phone number on it to call. So he ran up what seemed like two flights of stairs. One set was facing the driveway. He then went up a smaller flight of stairs heading away from our place and seemed to go around a deck and into a door heading towards our place.

When he returned with the bill I followed him towards the back where he has a small, but very private, peaceful and lovely little yard. There was a table and chairs as well as a swing hanging from 3 wooden utility poles. The lawnmower I swore I could hear at times wasn’t my imagination either. This area was grassy and I could see he kept it mowed.

He asked if I minded if he let the dogs loose, and of course I didn’t. I could clearly see, though, that if he really wanted to and if he really gave a damn about the peace of others, he could move the dogs into the breezeway area where they wouldn’t be so damn loud down here like they are in the winters. Or so loud further up the hill to whoever’s behind him. More than likely he has them in front to ward off any potential burglars, not that they wouldn’t find a way to get by them if they really wanted to. The poor dogs also only have one small doghouse that barely looks big enough for one of them let alone both of them. The dogs love their freedom as much as the rat loves his. They rolled around in the grass, played with each other, and demanded attention from us.

So anyway, we’re in the yard sitting in the blessed shade. He has even more privacy than we do because of the density of the trees and the steep hill alongside the place. He has no cement wall against the part of the hill in back which is like a vertical wall it’s so steep. I’d hate to be standing there if there ever was a landslide of any kind! You can see tree roots sticking out of the dirt. He doesn’t have as much open space as we do, though, since his place is bigger and the tree line curves inward in back. The only open space is in his driveway, so down here is definitely better for running.

It took him 4 tries to dial the damn 800 number on his cell, saying his fingers are too big for the thing. In a gruff voice, he asks what’s going on, gives his info and that sort of thing. “You people need to get your shit together,” he growls at one point, and I’m frantically shaking my head and mouthing the word “no,” till I realize they put him on hold and no one heard him.

I asked if he was gone on Friday nights and he confirmed that he was. He said he went to Sacramento (though he didn’t say where and with whom) and didn’t come back till early Saturday morning, and how’d I know? The dogs let me know, I told him.

He also said something about going on disability soon due to a bad back. Hmm…not sure if I like that idea. That’d mean less barking, but more of him. The barking is at least a little easier to drown out than his damn motorcycles and other engine gunning he does, even though it lasts longer. I like the idea of him being around more to deal with any potential problems, but it also gives him more time to be a pest.

“Not if his back’s bad,” Tom said, and so I hope it’s bad enough to keep him from being too big of a pest while we’re still here, as selfish as that may sound, LOL.

First he was told by the electric co. that everything was ok and then we headed down to his electrical box. He said the breakers looked ok and that someone would be out to check things out, and I walked back down here.

A few minutes later he came down on the ATV to say that he talked to someone else who confirmed that yes, there was a power outage in the area, it wasn’t just us, and it could be as late as 7:00 before the power was restored. Then he zoomed off, beer in hand and no doubt driving drunk to Sacramento this evening. Hope he doesn’t get killed. Again, I hate to sound selfish, but if he goes, we gotta go. And we ain’t quite ready to go just yet. Not with him working as just a temp.

This is why I like Tom’s idea of getting a travel trailer as a backup if God forbid our often shit luck ever faced us with homelessness that lasted more than the 36 hours we got of it in 2007. We still want a backup vehicle, too.

So after Jesse zoomed off with his beer and the dogs chasing after him, it was 90º both inside and outside. The heat and lack of breeze reminded me of that horribly uncomfortable night in Quartzite, AZ when we left Maricopa on our rough journey up to timber country. I decided to wait outside till Tom got back because I at least had somewhat of a breeze outdoors. Indoors the air was hardly moving at all.

Tom got in with the much-appreciated and much-deserved burgers and fries we’d been depriving ourselves of and looking so forward to, and we ate while I filled him in. By now it was 4:00 and we were contemplating grabbing the laptop and heading out in search of a hot spot to see if there was any news about the outage when the power finally came back on. I practically shouted for joy!

I showered and did the dishes, but held off on the laundry, knowing the well is going to need 8-12 hours of recovery time.

What is it with me and my giving a damn about people that don’t seem to give a damn about me? Do I subconsciously like the challenge or something? Is the chase really that much more fun than the capture? I don’t know how to figure myself out anymore. sighs Maybe I should try to be as unforgiving as I was for so long and quit caring about those who don’t care about me. I don’t hound them and stalk them like Molly does and try to force them to accept me or anything like that. In fact, I pretty much expect not to get very much from them if anything at all. But oh how I hope! It’s that hope I’d really like to kill. Yet here I am hoping Maliheh will one day contact me even if we don’t remain in touch and she just wants to tell me how much she hates me or something like that when my attitude towards her should be: fuck it. Just fuck it!

Do crushes do this to everyone???

I don’t know what country Nane’s in right now, but there were no updates at all on her Facebook page today. Even if I don’t hear from her again, I hope she’s ok. That one I do think I’ll hear from, though. Just not as much as I’d like to.

I keep thinking of the dream I had where I was in the blueberry patch with Maliheh and she was pointing out how Nane almost never comes to my blog when she was telling me I should focus more on those who care about me. She was right, of course. Nane hardly comes to my blog, and all her messages were replies to messages I sent her. I know I should take the advice she gave me in that dream, but if she herself truly doesn’t care, why would she come to my blog and not reject the friend invite? Hmm…life and its many mysteries!

Moving onto simpler things that make at least some sense, I said hi on Tammy’s wall and that things were better for us, and hoped they were good for her and hers.

“What a beautiful letter from you!” she wrote back, saying that she’s glad we’re doing better as she knows we had a hard time. She added that she and Mark are doing well. Lisa’s living with her longtime boyfriend, and Becky’s living with them and dealing with rheumatoid arthritis. They converted their basement into an apartment for her. She’s also getting a degree in business and is a front-end grocery store manager or supervisor. Sarah’s a licensed cosmetologist who owns her own business, but as I know full well, “owning” that business is really renting a space in a salon.

I still can’t say I give a damn about them. I don’t. I do remember some of the good times Tammy and I shared, but my interest in them doesn’t really go beyond just wanting to keep the peace going between us and hopefully not screwed out of anything Mom and Dad may want Tom and I to have after they’re gone.

Today was Mary’s 33rd birthday. I haven’t heard from her in nearly a year, but I hope she’s doing well and that she really does get out of prison next summer. And stays away from the bad boys and any thoughts of getting knocked up.

I love my little ratty, but oh the trouble he gets into! He came into the bedroom, wiggled his butt into the corner, stuck his tail up, and peed. shakes head and sighs And I thought this rat, like most rats, was keeping it all to himself in his cage. He also runs, jumps and climbs like no other rat we’ve ever had before. He leaps on and off the couch and bed like it’s nothing. The little devil also chewed a hole in my shorts.

As for meeting my October 20th story deadline – yeah, right. Keep dreaming! I still don’t think it’ll be much longer than a week or two, but we’ll see. I may or may not work on it throughout the weekend. I have other things I’ll be doing so I just don’t know yet. I want to hurry up and get it finished, but don’t want to rush it either.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 14, 2010 I guess shit must be shit in German as well based on all the “shits” rained on Nane’s Facebook wall due to her flight being canceled. So I guess she isn’t back yet after all. I just hope she contacts me on her own when she does get back. I won’t kick her off my friend list if she doesn’t, but she won’t be hearing from me if I don’t hear from her.

I had a dream that included Nane last night. Something about Facebook. I just don’t know if we were messaging each other, chatting live, writing on each other’s walls or what.

Tammy checked out my blog today, and of course Maliheh’s still at it several times a day till the story ends. I hope to have it finished in a week or so. My only other regulars besides Aly and Kim are that OSU person and a MyOpera MOD.

I wrote on Tammy’s wall earlier, letting her know that I may be out of sight, but she’s not out of mind, and I wished her well.

Tom got a blood pressure monitor and he has high blood pressure, something that goes with being overweight. What pisses me off is knowing he probably needs medication he can’t have. I just hope he continues losing weight, but it’s a slow process even if he does.

Got a few minutes of engine gunning from Jesse, but Tom said it might not have been him because some truck he’d never seen before was leaving as he was coming down the drive.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2010 Well, I’ve learned enough German now to tell by some of Nane’s wall discussions that yes, she’s alone in Turkey and for 4 days, so she’s probably back in Germany by now.

Someone was also asking her about men and from what I gathered, she said there were some hanging around that she’s not interested in. Still don’t know exactly what her orientation is, but the comment on my racy pic and the belly dancer at her birthday party suggests she’s at least bi.

I just wonder if she ever really will contact me on her own because I’m no longer going to be the one making the first move from here on out. That much I do know!

In other news, the cooler’s been running great. I’ve been alternating between ‘cool’ and ‘fan’. Couple more days and I’ll be bitching about the cold.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2010 Caught a boo-boo in the last chapter that I corrected. The detectives were saying Maliheh and Joni had a run-in 20 years ago. But I jumped the story 5 years into the future, so I had to make that run-in 25 years ago – duh! Makes me wonder what other stupid mistakes I’ve thrown in along the way. Hopefully, if my readers don’t catch them, I’ll catch them on my own when it comes time to do the final editing.

Man, I really felt like an idiot when I read the very first message I sent Maliheh on Facebook, and yes, for some reason I have saved all 12 of the messages I’ve sent in the last half a year to her, all unanswered of course. What an ass I was for exaggerating things out of anger like I did! I know it’s pointless to keep going over what can’t be undone, but she wasn’t “drunk,” and our “kissing” was just the quick friendly peck on the cheek she gave me on the way out.

I have been thinking of something a follower believes really happened that night. Did it? Is it really possible? Did I fall in love with her and not even realize it? Or was I that freaked out over it if I did know it deep down that that, along with other things I had going on at the time, caused me to behave the way I did? I suppose anything is possible but I don’t think I’ll ever know for sure just what happened. I’m not even sure what I’m feeling right now. But I must be feeling something because the thought of finishing the story makes me just as sad as it is exciting, for soon there will be nothing to smile about when I’m able to get into my stats. To me, as funny as it may sound, it was my only “connection” to her. Because she hasn’t spoken to me despite my apologies and keeping my word about behaving from now on, I have taken it to mean I’m still hated and haven’t been forgiven unless she’s waiting to see how the story ends. I assumed the only reason she came to my blog was out of curiosity where the story was concerned.

I don’t understand the pending friend invite, I don’t understand some of the things she said and did 20 years ago (almost 20), and I don’t understand what it is about her that captivates me so, but I’m going to miss her presence as silent as it’s been. And it has been much too silent indeed. Many times I’ve wished for her to say something, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. It goes to show I’m not influencing her simply by what I desire her to do. Those who know me as an influencer have suggested I “pulled” both her and Nane towards me simply through force of mind. But Maliheh’s never spoken to me, and I hardly hear from Nane.

It turned out that the cooler wasn’t really broken, but that the water was just turned off to it. I wanted to strangle Tom at first before I knew that he deliberately turned it off because he was afraid that the foul smell we were smelling the other day was the pump burning up. But because it was hot out today and the temperature was steadily rising in here and the thing sounded funny, I called Jesse. Then I hung up when he didn’t answer.

A while later he called me and asked who I was. I told him, and also that I thought something was wrong with the cooler. He wasn’t home at the time but said he’d be here in an hour.

He first went up on the roof, opened the thing up, and said no water was coming up to it. Then he checked and found that the water was turned off, saying he hoped we didn’t burn his pump up, they cost 30 or 40 dollars, but he could understand people are forgetful at times, they do burn up eventually, and his just recently burned up. I told him I’d strangle Tom for it and he said not to worry about it.

He also asked for a nail for something I didn’t understand, and I climbed the ladder I’m supposedly too afraid to climb, and handed it to him. I think it had to do with one of the hoses binding. That may explain the strange swooshing sounds I was hearing too, like air bubbles or the hose being pinched. He also hosed it down to get the pads saturated faster and noticed the water leaking between the trailer and deck roofs. He mentioned doing the trailer roof next year. I thought that was to be before this winter, but I guess not.

He’s also full-blooded Portuguese, though he doesn’t look it. Especially with such light eyes. When he was pointing out that we don’t remember things as well when we get older, I said “I know. Trying to learn and remember so many languages is tough at times.” He asked what I knew, and said he doesn’t speak Portuguese, but his parents do.

Anyway, the cooler was up and running just fine in the end. No funny sounds or smells. Hopefully, it will stay that way at least for a couple more days till it cools down.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2010 So I’m in the kitchen when all of a sudden music starts blasting like crazy. I then run into the bedroom to shut Kid Cudi up and found that the rat had jumped on the laptop that’s hooked up to my stereo.

Then I go out into the living room and it’s raining! Yeah, he got onto the table where the sound machine is and turned that on too, the little devil, LOL. Other than getting stranded on top of the laundry hamper, trying to climb the blinds, knocking over pails, and running off with small objects like my flavored lip gloss, he’s doing better than we are.

First I woke up with period cramps an hour earlier than I would have liked. Then Tom ended up wasting time, gas and $15 on a new control box for the cooler, even though he loves Fry’s Electronics and had fun browsing through the store. We noticed yesterday it was smelling funny. Not like something was burning, but it was sort of a chemical smell. We figured the control box he put in the old piece of shit which we use to create a thermostat for using a computer program he wrote had burned up.

Then the poor guy wastes more time by installing the new controller just to find it was too big for the electrical box it needed to be in. So we put the cooler on and operated it manually. A few minutes later the smell returned. It went away when we switched it from ‘cool’ to ‘fan’ then came back when we switched back to ‘cool’ and so that’s when we knew it was the pump. When it’s on ‘cool’ it comes and it goes. Fortunately, we should only need it for cooling for just a few more days, and fortunately my schedule’s where it’s at right now so I can operate it manually.

I’m so sick of living in little old bummy places – argh! Are we really that less deserving in life?! In fact, I’m so fed up with all the problems this place has had that I’ve been thinking of moving. It may be worth a little snow, as much as I hate the shit, to get a halfway decent place that functions properly. So many things in here don’t work, but it’s not worth being put out even more by having Jesse fix some of the things that don’t work. We can live without the broken heater because we have alternatives that will actually save us money, but if we’re still here in the spring and the cooler still smells funny, we’ll have to deal with him dealing with it.

Everything has had a problem in here so far but the kitchen appliances and bathroom sink. The well, the kitchen sink, the faucet in the tub, the heater, the cooler, and the pressure tank have all been a problem.

I’m also sick of Jesse coming down without calling, even if he didn’t wake me up this morning when he rudely came down at 7:30 to get something from his shit pile, and I’m sick of him spending Friday nights elsewhere and leaving me to have to deal with his damn dogs when I’m up during those hours. I can’t do anything that requires a quiet background, and it’s going to be bad enough when the weather turns cold.

I know it’d be just as noisy if we moved, but like I said, if we can have a real house with a normal heating and cooling system and things that work as they should, it may be worth it. But we don’t want to decide this until and if he’s ever hired on somewhere permanently.

Although Tom said it was about a mile away, last night we heard a single gunshot after dark that was super loud. Someone was probably shooting at something that was threatening their livestock more than they were trying to get attention. But it serves as a reminder that going off the grid may be a very bad idea if we ever do get to buy our own place. If they’re shooting this much in an area that’s still technically within city limits and where you’re not supposed to, I can just imagine how bad it’d be in the more extreme rural locations.

I’m following Andy’s “famous” Fire Flies band on Twitter in which he’s the lead singer. He’s been in Honduras!

Nane posted 30 photos of her trip around Turkey. Some were nice, but it was too bad she wasn’t in any of them.

Maybe sometime tonight I can finally work on chapter 20, though it may be a day or two before anything else is posted.

Here goes my end-of-the-day heart palpitations. :( How annoying. At least I’m still psyching those scratch tickets into winning – woot!

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2010 Swapped some messages with Andy. He’s still playing his imaginary band game, the Fire Flies, all these years later on Twitter, LOL.

He said Donna now lives in Indiana with her husband and two sons, and that she lost a lot of weight through surgery. But as great of a singer as she is, her closest break was one hit song on the radio, then on American Idol where she got starstruck in front of Naomi Judd and was unable to perform. Then they axed her.

Maliheh brought a friend with her to my blog from Facebook, probably because the last part was rather steamy. I think they’re connected anyway since they were within minutes apart and the person is in Kansas.

Nane, not surprisingly, has internet access where she is because her friend count went up to 41.

Other than looking forward to chatting with Nane when she gets back if it really happens, I’m going to work on finishing my book so I can get onto the next one.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2010 Yesterday was an absolutely shitty day for me. I spent so much of it in pain it’s a miracle I got anything done around here. I had to pop pain pills like crazy and was so close to taking a hammer to these fucking teeth which are dying like crazy. Tom said the horrible achiness was due to a tooth dying and that it would stop in an instant soon enough. I just laughed because I never felt such horrible pain with the others who died, but it’s true. After a day and a half of it giving me hell, I woke up today pain-free at least from that tooth. Others, along with my ear, are still bothering me. My ear is getting better, though, as we’ve been oiling it and softening the dead skin that can’t fucking shed itself out.

I’m so fucking sick of always having some kind of problem! Had anyone come down here yesterday and just looked at me wrong, I’d have trashed the hell out of them. If I hadn’t been so exhausted by the time Jesse took off for the night I’d have had to really restrain myself from strangling his fucking dogs, too. I wanted to do my language studies but it was just way too noisy.

I also had heart palpitations like crazy.

I just don’t know what to do as far as a dentist goes! I want to go now, but what if he gets laid off? And of course if we paid for it, then we got insured, I’d be so fucking pissed to have spent all the money it’d cost for the dentures I need. I just don’t know what to do!

The only fun highlight of the day yesterday was the rat. He is everywhere these days! He’s the best climber we’ve ever had, so I really have to watch him. He got himself stuck on top of the laundry hamper. Then he was walking along Tom’s keyboard shelf when he got up to get something from the kitchen, LOL. He even tries to climb the blinds, but he’s too heavy for that now.

I don’t know if I can stay out of pain long enough, but if I can I might finish chapter 18. No promises, though. What’s really exciting is that I can now see the beginning of the end of this book! I’m about to set the stage for the exciting conclusion. I should be able to get it done in 2-3 more chapters! Good. Then I can finally move on to other projects. :) Nane’s going to be in my next book. It could take up to a month to do the final editing of Evil Amongst the Evergreens.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2010 If I didn’t know any better I’d swear I jinxed myself by describing all that ear pain like I did in my story! Ugh! But I do know that when stupid me neglects to keep up with things, she ends up sorry for it. An artificial ear canal can’t clean itself so we have to do it ourselves. Tom puts baby oil in it every 6 months or so to soften the dead skin, then he removes it. It’s easy to do in a fake canal cuz fakes don’t have curvy canals like normal canals do. They just drill straight in when they make them.

I woke up at 2am in pain after 4 or 5 hours of sleep. The entire left side of my face hurt. Even my teeth were hurting, but it didn’t feel like the usual toothache. Instead, my lower left jaw was hurting. I don’t know if it’s connected to my ear or not.

Fell back asleep until 7am, then about an hour later the pain returned. After taking what amounted to nearly half a bottle of pain pills, I dumped some oil in my ear myself. That seemed to help a lot. I just wonder if it’ll start back up all over again when the pain pills I’m stuffed with wear off. Right now I’m at least relatively pain-free, just groggy. I don’t know when I’ll get back to my story, but chapter 18 has been started.

Chances are I may not be insured for years, so I’m going to have to start bringing some of these teeth up on my own. I loosened a few on the right side that were easy to grip, but ironically enough they don’t hurt.

I dreamt of a power failure and rowing a paddleboat through a grassy lake.

The pain is starting to creep back in as I write this. Why won’t the bastard above quit letting these things pick on me?!?!

Nane is on her Turk trip now. I guess she left today and not tomorrow. I hope she has fun. I’ll be looking forward to chatting with her when she gets done Turk tripping. :)

I started sending my MyOpera entries to Twitter again but not to Facebook. IDK, I guess I’m paranoid about flooding the news feed, even though some people post way more often than the 1-3 times a day I post entries. Maybe after the story’s done I’ll send them there again because then I won’t be posting as much.

Just 17 more Esperanto lessons to go and I’ll have completed all 4 courses. Looks like I’m going to pass with a 97% average!

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2010 I’m watching to see if Nane appears on Facebook, but so far I’ve been completely ignored by her. Yet she manages to review submissions on LM, proving that she’s not that busy. I guess it’s just a matter of priority to her, and at the risk of sounding like Marie, I’m just not that important.

Why oh why am I always longing for those I can’t have??? Yet I can have all the Marie Ds I want, can’t I?

Maliheh didn’t hit me at 7pm like I asked her to as a sign saying she liked me or at least didn’t hate me. Her last hit was at 4:38. Her last hits are usually between 5pm - 11pm with her first hits being around 6:30 am-9:30 am. She’s even starting to come around less often, though I can’t say it’s because of me.

Now that it’s been confirmed that she’s still harboring hate and anger toward me, it’s all the more reason to proceed cautiously where she’s concerned. Just like with Stacey, she’s not over the past, she’s never going to be, and she can’t move on. Therefore, I’m just going to finish the story, email the final copy to her as I said I would, then get on with life at which time I suspect she’ll stop coming to my blog altogether. I’d say she’s definitely coming around now only with hopes of screwing me over and not just because she’s curious as to what I’m writing about her. But to the absolute best of my knowledge, there’s nothing she can screw me with.

As is usually the case, Jesse came down without calling first to get some plywood from his shit pile. I don’t think anything he did would’ve woken me up, though, and he never came to the door. I stepped out and said hello to him and the dogs, and gave him the trash, too.

When he started hammering up at his place, I took that as a sign that I should crank up the tunes and get the dusting done I’ve been putting off.

Late yesterday afternoon the freeloaders – or whoever they really are – got trigger-happy again. I hope someone who knows exactly where they are called the cops or else they’ll think it’s ok and will go back to the regular shoot-outs.

Later…

I finally heard from Nane! All she said was mine was the longest message she ever received on Facebook (though she did add some smileys), she’s packing and doing laundry and doesn’t have a lot of time, but we can chat when she gets back, ok? And thanks a lot for the compliment, she added with more smileys.

She didn’t “hug” me back, and I didn’t sense the same enthusiasm on her part, but it was nice to hear from her. The only thing that sucks is that I only heard from her because I sent a message first. Unless things change when she returns – and I doubt it – I see a one-sided relationship here that could get very old faster than even I probably realize. She still makes for great eye candy and fantasies and will star in my next book!

Also, now that I know she’s in a city called Bayern, I don’t think it was her who hit my blog the day she friended me. It’s possible, but I doubt it because the hit was in northwestern Germany where Denmark is. But Bayern is in southeastern Germany towards Austria.

Anyway, I’m going to let her be the one to make the next move.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2010 My hair is 6” longer than it looks when you pull it straight. I get so sick of it being so thick and curly at times, but the flat iron really fries it so I guess I should lay off it for a while.

Another day of wishing for contact with those who aren’t obligated to me in any way, yet who are always in my thoughts just the same. Nane seems to have disappeared altogether, and I don’t know what to make of Maliheh. In a way, I feel more connected to her than I ever did to Nane, even though Nane and I have communicated with each other. Maliheh pays consistent attention to me and is always there, silent or not. Ok, so she may not literally be paying attention to me so much as to what’s written about her, but at the same time I’ve been ignored, I haven’t really. And so while it may not be the same as a message or a phone call, it’s almost like she’s letting me know she’s right here with me, even if that’s not exactly the message she’s trying to convey.

The rat appeared to be sick earlier but is fine now. I guess he was just tired. I was really worried too, as only the good die young, so it seems. The “benign bastard,” a rat who wasn’t much fun, lived to be pretty ancient for a rat. Babies die of cancer but look at Charles Manson. He’s quite a healthy old man. A couple of months and I’ll be reminded that I ain’t so young myself. Ah, I just might be a big enough asshole, after all, to qualify for living a full life. :)

I recorded myself singing earlier and thought I sounded like shit. I wasn’t flat or anything as rarely do I sound flat, but I sounded nasal.

Later…

Whoever my Ohio State University fan is comes around more often. Wonder if they come for the story or the journal? Or maybe both?

Maliheh’s hit me 5 times so far today. Just a little over two hours to go to find out if she hits it when I want her to, saying I’m ok in her book after all.

I gave Alison my number in an email because she seems to want to talk to more of her friends lately than just keep in touch with them online. This is understandable with the stress she’s under.

I spoke to my mom and dad and mom said “Just last night I said to dad, now why haven’t we heard from Jodi? She said she’d call every month. And now here you go and call.”

I reminded her that I’m very intuitive and I pick up on those vibes she puts out, even if she still might not believe it. Since the last time we talked was the last day in August, I skipped a month. I guess they were worried, just like Tom was worried the other day if he was right in turning down the job offer he got and kept waking up all night. I hate to say it, but it’s nice to see others worry for once and not me! I know, however, that we could still end up right back in the same boat we were in for 22 months if they lay him off. If there’s any danger ahead, I’m sure I’ll have dreams warning me of it. I usually do.

Anyway, Dad asked if my Magic Jack phone was reliable, saying they were sick of paying $60 for a basic phone. I told him that other than an occasional echo and the lag, yes, it’s reliable. Then I reminded him that you have to have internet access for one of these.

“Nope, I’m not going through that shit again with the 10,000 email messages!” Ma goes.

“Relax,” I told her, “the spam filters are really good these days.”

“Even 100 is too much!”

“So be mean and have Dad manage your inbox.”

LOL, I can tell that Dad’s keener on the idea than she is.

I pointed out that they could also consider going cellular, but Ma said that’s not convenient. They both have cells, but they forward their business phone to their main line during the week, and I guess she doesn’t want to have to run out to the car if she forgets to bring it inside with her or something.

They said it’s only been 3 years since they’ve been offline and not the 5-10 I thought it was. Either way, I hope they come back. They can do a lot more for that $60 than they’re doing now, but if they don’t want to go online, they don’t want to. I know they’re coming to my blog if they do! And like I said in my shoutbox, I may be their craziest daughter, but I’m sure they’ll agree I’m the most entertaining too, LOL. As I told them, I can’t imagine not having online access. You might as well go live in Amish country in that case, LOL.

I suppose the thought of one’s parents coming to their blog or journal would be a real nightmare for them, but I couldn’t say anything they haven’t heard before, if not from me then from someone somewhere. I know they won’t agree with everything I have to say, especially the fact that they weren’t exactly the best of parents when I was a kid as opposed to as an adult, but I know they know I have a right to my opinions and that it’s my blog and I gotta live my life as I see fit.

I asked if they knew I at least sort of patched things up with Tammy and they said no.

Really? I’m surprised because that drama queen usually tells it all. They were all for it, of course, not that I expected them to say, “Aw, you two should remain sworn enemies for life. Really Jodi, just hate the bitch’s guts forever and let her do the same in return.”

I told them they gotta cover their asses if they do come online, and reminded them of various types of scams out there – the lotto scam, Nigerian letter, phishers, etc.

I was surprised to learn their condo is only one-story. I thought it was two for some reason, but I guess that was the place they had before we left Phoenix. Then again, I was more surprised that they’d ever get a two-story place to begin with.

I also let them know that since we’re not hard up for bucks right now, we’ve bumped the listing of the Beanie Babies closer to Hanukah and Christmas.

I had said that the 11th was a bad day for us 3 years ago, but actually, it was the 4th. The nightmare lasted for 11 days, and so that’s why the number 11 stuck in my head. But it started on the 4th, the same day I quit smoking in 1997.

Just when I was thinking how amazing it was that the cooler weather hadn’t brought Jesse out to make a racket, I heard him buzzing around on the ATV, then gunning engines, but it didn’t last long.

I’ve been asked about various usernames I’ve used. Well, lately I’ve been The Girl in the Mirror, but for a long time, I was Ratgirl or Mystery. Mystery was my stage name when I was dancing.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 5, 2010 Last night I fell asleep at a reasonable hour for once and dreamt of the perfect ending to my story! So now I know exactly how the story is going to end. I had a general idea, but no details until now. Can’t say how, though, and spoil the surprise.

I realized that if what had happened in real life with the part of the story where Joni and Maliheh are in the bar when the trigger-happy psycho comes around, they’d probably have to testify as witnesses in court. Maybe I should go back in the final copy and have Maliheh kill the guy so they won’t have to, LOL. Or have him plead guilty.

Some of the feelings I’ve expressed and the comments I’ve received have got me thinking of this whole forgiveness thing and my being too nice and too tolerant like some people say. Actually, it was the other way around for quite some time. From around the early 90s to not so long ago I was probably one of the least forgiving people you could ever meet. But then I realized that people weren’t created to be perfect, and we all make mistakes. This doesn’t mean I could forgive everyone who’s ever wronged me. How much is too much to forgive? Well, I guess we all have our ideas of what should and shouldn’t be forgiven. I myself base it on the seriousness of whatever it was that was done to me, and how often. Marie was hardly serious at all, but she kept doing the same shit over and over again that she promised she’d stop doing. What was done to me by our old neighbors in Phoenix and their corrupt pig pal is way too serious to ever forgive. I don’t think I ever could even if they apologized to me right now and handed me a check for a million bucks. Furthermore, I hope their lives are pure hell.

When Tom first got this job, we figured he’d get other offers as that’s how it usually works. But to our surprise, no one called. But then yesterday he got another job offer. The lady he spoke to was bummed out that he’d already found work but said to keep her in mind if he ever needs another job. So we still would’ve been saved, but that would’ve really been cutting it close! Next Sunday would have been the last time he mailed in a form.

I noticed a new regular about a week ago from another country. It turns out they work for MyOpera. They warned me about a particular member being a scammer which they banned. So that was nice of them to look out for me, and I guess there’s no need to worry about my blog being too intense for their standards since they’d have banned me, too.

Today’s cousin Sharyn’s 61st birthday, so I wished her a happy one on Facebook.

The chest pains and palpitations had eased off for a while and I had been doing well, but about a week ago they started up again. Still don’t know what causes them and what it means. Why is it that I always seem to have more questions in life than answers?

Now it’s time to get started with the day’s workout, cleaning and writing, and begin another day of feeling alienated from those online beings I’d like to hear from most. And I’ll be afraid to reach out to them while I’m at it, not wanting to come off as too pushy and persistent, wishing I could be a cold, calloused bitch who couldn’t care less about anyone else but herself. If they would just email me a few times a day for a week or two I’d get sick of them in no time, LOL.

Later…

I can see that Nane’s logged into LM twice since I sent her a message on Facebook, which I’d be willing to bet she’s already read, and so yeah, she’s basically a waste of time. I’m not going to hear much from her. She’s just too sane and too gorgeous to feel the same way I do.

Maliheh was in a couple of hours ago and hit 5 pages no doubt looking for comments left in regards to her. She can’t be interested in me, could she? LOL, somehow I doubt she’s interested in how shiny my glitter nail polish is or that I’m pissed that it’s chilly out and feeling alienated by Nane.

Later…

The dogs ran up to see me. It was so cute the way both of them ambushed me. Whiskey’s still the friendliest, though, and Brandy took off a second later. I’m amazed at these dogs’ strength! Whiskey wasn’t sure whether or not he should follow Brandy, but reluctantly decided that yeah, he should go chase his girlfriend. A minute later he came back to me, though I had already jumped inside, figuring I had enough weeds all over me.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2010 Tom said he might have to join Facebook because of some contests Pepsi is to be running soon, even though he’s never had any interest in the social networking scene. Hmm… will he be my friend if he does, LOL! He’s won X-boxes, mini-refrigerators and cash from them before. He loves their contests.

Now that we owe a grand in taxes all for the shit I’ve won (the 9K and the Italy trip we have yet to take), I said to him, “While I’m glad for the 9K so we could finally escape the motel, doesn’t it also suck that I won so much shit cuz of the taxes?”

“Not at all,” he said. “I’m sitting at the best computer I ever had in my life, I can crank out all the documents and pictures I want on a high-tech color laser printer most businesses can only dream of, then flip on my 32” LCD TV.”

We both started laughing at that point. Well, as soon as the economy picks up a little more I’ll start combing OLS again and turning out the wins!

Tom was looking online to find out all the land/house costs from when we lived in Maricopa. I guess you can file a loss when you do taxes, but we made so little in 2004 that he didn’t bother filing that year. It turns out, however, that we didn’t lose money like he had thought, we actually made a profit of 3K, though we left with 5K. We got 83K for the Phoenix house, paid 15K for the 10 acres in Maricopa, took out a 92K mortgage, then sold it for 107K 5 years later.

When we lost that place (no, I am not going to start crying this time), I cursed it so badly. I put a super nasty spell on it, determined not to let anyone have a good time in my house that I basically designed and customized myself. I was so sad over losing that place even though Maricopa was building up fast and the Mexican drug cartel was taking over the area. We were barely two hours away from the border, and seeing Border Control cruisers was a very common sight, along with the tribal police. Especially in Casa Grande.

Well, Tom was also able to learn that Huey, the investor who bought us out with plans to split the land into 5 2-acre parcels, lost a huge amount of money on the place. :)

I sure miss some aspects of it, though, especially the cool monsoon storms. Never did I hear such deafening thunder before in my life, see such intense lightning, or feel such fierce winds. It rained so hard one time that it created a run-off and water flooded the area and went streaming downhill for hours. You can see pictures of it in my photo albums on pages 10-11.

On pages 18-19 is the little pigeon flock I had in Phoenix. Yeah, I made friends with the neighborhood pigeons for a while, LOL. I hated the mess they’d make but loved how I could step out of the house and into the middle of the backyard, spread my arms, and down they’d come from the utility poles. This is kind of what I mean when I describe myself as unique and a bit strange. I doubt many people would be so nice to their local pigeons. I also fed a cute little wild rat on the land we owned for 5 minutes in Oregon, LOL. It was a gray rat that I think was pregnant.

I dreamt I was playing some online game with Maliheh, working for a lawyer, seeing two jackrabbits get it on out front, sweeping the deck with Tom, and getting my hair brushed out by Nane. We moved again too, but it can’t mean much since it seemed to be my grandparents’ old house and then we were in Florida.

Later…

I heard of this woman who was heavy and lost a lot of weight because she had a tapeworm, though she didn’t know it right away. I want a tapeworm, too! What a great diet it would make.

Nane’s on Facebook once again and once again I am being ignored. I feel kind of bummed out now and like I’m not getting as much attention from Nane as I’d like despite knowing how busy she is. She seemed like a fine cyber girlfriend though I have to wonder why the hell it matters so much to me. This is a woman I’ll never see that’s on the other side of the world. Why is it that sometimes the people far away from me matter more than some of the ones right here in my own town? Oh, wait a minute! I’m only allowed more attention from the crazy ones, right?

Some have suggested I get out and meet local women. I wouldn’t feel guilty for it, after all, since Tom and I are more like friends. As I told him, as long as your heart is always with me, I don’t care what you do. I’m not your mommy. And he knows I expect the same attitude in return. I know that I’m not alone and that most long-term couples like Tom and I go through this where the love grows but the lust dies. But I’m totally against seeking out people around here. I absolutely won’t do it! You see, I learned many years ago that the more I plan or seek something/someone out with a specific goal in mind, the more likely I am to end up with something else or nothing at all. Life has been mostly unexpected and accidental for me. I didn’t even “plan” Maliheh last May. She just popped into mind one day and I spontaneously looked her up. What followed from there was both expected and unexpected. I’m not surprised she’s never contacted me, but I am surprised she visited my blog. This is why I think she’s either looking for something to use against me in a mean, vindictive way, or she’s giving things time, not wanting to write me off as a possibility in her life in the future, but wanting to take this time to play with me while she’s at it. Hey, it’s only fair, isn’t it, LOL? But yes, I feel both delighted and teased by her silent presence. And I’m still no closer to figuring out what I feel for her or why. I just know that if she does contact me, she will do so when she’s ready, in her own time, in her own way.

Yet despite how bummed out and empty I sometimes feel, I find it easier to just sit here and feel sorry for myself till these moods pass. Who knows, maybe I’ll be celibate for the rest of my life, but if I am I know I only have myself to blame for that because I’m very picky and I don’t settle for just anything, even if it’s just for fun and games which is all it would be.

I’m sitting on Facebook right now hoping against hope that she’ll initialize a chat with me or do something, but nope. She’s been on for about an hour, but nothing new appears on her page, so I guess she’s swapping messages with people, playing games or maybe reading other pages.

Other than being a bit bummed out over Nane, even if we haven’t been “together” long and she has a million things going on and doesn’t appear to be home much, Eileen emailed me to say that just because I don’t hear from her at times doesn’t mean she doesn’t think of me daily. Aw, how sweet of her. I think of her every day, too. She prays for me every day, she says, and I told her to keep on doing whatever it is she’s doing because things have been running smoothly. I really had some scary moments for a while and didn’t think we’d make it, so it’s nice to have things go well, though I’m not stupid. All good things come to an end. I know that. My mother’s a bitch, but she didn’t raise no fool. Eileen also enclosed a quick video of her granddaughter and visited my blog.

Irene cracks me up. She said that the idea of being in my story makes her feel like a little girl waiting for Santa, LOL. Yes, she’s quite excited about it.

Anyway, I sent the somewhat elusive German hottie a message wishing her a safe and happy trip to Turkey. Maybe we’ll chat more when she gets back, but I won’t count on it.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2010 Facebook is saying Nane posted to my wall, commented on my wall and likes my wall post about an hour ago, but I don’t see anything new. I guess it must be one of Fuckbook’s many glitches. Yesterday, though, she “liked” my hug, commented on my wall, and sent me an Oktoberfest Herz (heart). She’s also getting me into Turkish and Greek music, LOL.

In a good mood after receiving these goodies from her and having fun shopping, I thought we should scratch the 3 tickets we got, but unfortunately, the first two didn’t win. Before we could do the last ticket I decided to wait, hoping we just hadn’t left it laying around long enough for the energy to take effect. I will try to psych it into winning later.

Yesterday was the biggest day for traffic in the history of this blog, though I don’t know why. People were getting pushed off the list faster than they entered it, and I couldn’t see much of my “silent girlfriend.” I did see that she was in really late, but that was it. I also hope she doesn’t get upset by my referring to her as things like “silent girlfriend” or “cyber girl.” I know where we stand! We stand nowhere. Never have, never will. I know this. I swear I do! It’s all just in my stories, fantasies, imagination and wishful thinking. But I just don’t want to piss her off and make her think I’m delusional and losing touch with reality or anything. This doesn’t mean I still don’t like the idea of being her friend or cybergirl, it just means I know nothing’s going on either way and that she probably hates me and always will. But no matter how much Nane may be on my mind, I will always be looking over my shoulder at that silent girlfriend, thinking of her and hoping she’s doing well.

I don’t know about last night, but Jesse’s definitely spending Friday nights elsewhere. At 3am Brandy went off and I figured he’d come out and tell her to shut up, but he never did, and then Whiskey went off. His truck wasn’t there when we left at 6am for the grocery store, making me even more sure he stayed elsewhere overnight. It was there when we got back, though. So in less than a month the only time there won’t be any barking will basically be during the weeknights which totally sucks, but hey, there’s just no escaping it no matter where you go in the west which is part of why I might consider a dog of our own if we ever do buy a house. Might as well listen to our own for once instead of it always being someone else’s.

We went back out a few hours later and I got glittery nail polish with a nice pale pink background, foundation to cover the redness in my face that sometimes goes with being fair-skinned and which I’m also getting sick of, and a new desk chair.

I swore I’d never get a chair without arms, but when I saw the cute little hot pink (my favorite color) chair for just $30, I couldn’t resist. I can rest my arms in my lap or at the sides of the desk when I’m not typing, though that’s what I’m usually doing when I’m at my computer. The mesh is a little rough, but otherwise it’s a suitable chair for one who lives in a tiny old trailer.

“We can afford the $140 chair with the fuzzy arms you like, even though it’s not pink,” Tom pointed out.

Yeah, we could, and that’s a nice feeling, but I didn’t want to spend the extra money and wasn’t sure it would fit in between the desk and side of the bed which is where I have my computer set up. I will eventually get a bigger, more comfortable chair with arms and eventually give this one to my sitting mannequin that’s been packed away in the shed due to the lack of space in here. It would be nicer than the lawn chair she used to sit on. Better yet, I wish I could sell her! But mannequins have gotten to be quite a craze and are dirt cheap compared to years ago, so they can just get a brand-new one easily enough. Most people wouldn’t want her anyway posed as she is because she sits over with her elbows on her legs. She was made more for decoration than for showing off clothing.

I just hope they hire him on by the end of the year and that we’re not back in the poorhouse in just a few months!

Later…

I saw that Nane was on Facebook a little while ago and by the time I got brave enough to start a chat with her, she jumped offline. Maybe it’s for the better, though, as busy or not, she obviously isn’t into me nearly as much as I’m into her. She may be attracted to me, but this is oh-so typical of what I get. The more I’m attracted to the person, the less interested they seem to be in me. I was attracted to Marie too, just not nearly as much. And the only reason I could have all I wanted of Marie was that she was crazy.

I hope things will change and that I’ll hear more from her when she gets back from vacation, but I doubt it.

Why oh why does it upset me so to be ignored today by someone I’ve never met who’s on the other side of the world simply because of how attractive they are???

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2010 Many have tried to guess as to Maliheh’s true intentions, but no one seems to be any closer to figuring out just what they are. Or who the impersonator was. But I’d be willing to bet there was more than one, and one of them knew her at one point.

The end results seem rather black and white and not at all gray. Meaning that I think her intentions can only be good or bad and that there’s just no room for any real kind of indifference. If she were indifferent and didn’t give a shit about me one way or the other, then why come around so often? So that in itself pretty much indicates that she either despises the hell out of me and is just waiting and hoping for the opportunity to jump out and bite me, or she is ever so slowly opening her heart to me and reaching out one teeny little inch at a time as I have reached out to her.

The easiest thing for me to do would be to cancel the friend request, move on and forget about her, assuming she means the worst, but I don’t want to jump the gun and make assumptions that could very well be all wrong like I did when I thought she was fucking with me on Formspring.

I understand that part of the fun for her is probably in leaving me hanging, guessing and wondering. That in itself could be what the game is all about, and getting a kick out of what people, including myself, have to say about it. But hey, I can understand, LOL. I’d get a real kick out of all the theories and speculations myself!

I also realize something else that’s a bit chilling. When I fucked with her it was in the form of pranks. Not to excuse myself or anything as what I did was still wrong, but there were no “evil intentions” involved. I didn’t want to harm her in any way but just annoy her. But if she herself is hoping to harm me somehow, some way, then that would have to be one twisted person since I have apologized for my wrongdoings and have been keeping true to my word about behaving. So the possibility of being played with or harmed by someone I’ve already apologized to is a bit disturbing. Nothing I can do about it, though, and as Alison said, only she knows how this is going to end. I know how the story is going to end, she knows how reality is going to end. Funny, ain’t it?

I find that taking notes upon getting up helps me to remember my dreams in better detail. But I don’t remember one single dream from last night. No disjointed, off-the-wall scenes, no nothing.

Later…

Thanks to some of the damn cocks here, they are helping to make me even more of a sexist than I already am (with a few guys excluded, of course). I got so sick of comments like, nice ass, nice back, nice bottom, etc, on the picture I last had showing my hair when it was really long that I went and changed it. It’s ironic too, as I’m skinnier now than I was in that picture. At least I got a wonderful reaction from Nane on the one on Facebook which is certainly a lot naughtier, LOL, but it probably explains the spike in traffic yesterday. Maybe some would say I should appreciate a compliment, but I don’t want people coming to my blog simply because they think I had a nice ass in 2007. I want them coming because they like reading my blog. Keep my ass as an afterthought, will you?!

So many guys out there think they know it all and that they should rule the world, and while they’re at it they treat women with such disrespect and like they’re nothing but animals or objects to be used and abused at will. I have NO sympathy for men when they get attacked or beaten by their women after they’ve been pushed to the max and too fed up to take any more of their shit. I applaud those women and am glad more and more of them are reacting violently toward these damn cocks. Keep them fists flying, ladies! Sometimes you really do gotta fight and shit! I forgot about Formspring. I better get over there soon and get answering questions!

It smelled like rain when I was out running earlier. It’s been nearly 5 months since we had any real rain, so it wouldn’t hurt.

We decided that since we’re having one of our “rich spells,” we may as well postpone listing the Beanie Babies until we get closer to Christmas.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2010 October.

October has a few anniversaries in it for me, the 11th being particularly horrible.

The 4th will mark 13 years since I quit smoking. I went from saying I can’t believe I quit to I can’t believe I ever smoked, though I’m sure there will always be a part of me that can’t believe I quit. I used the gum back when I was living in Phoenix, AZ, the same method that I failed to succeed with 5 years earlier in CT. Guess there really is a time and a place for everything.

The 27th will mark 23 years of journaling.

This month would’ve also been the end of us had Tom not been able to get a job. In a couple of weeks, we’d be out of money, I’d be deciding which friends and family members to send a final message to, we’d be dead, and Evil Amongst the Evergreens would never get finished. Maliheh’s friend invite wouldn’t matter anymore around the 15th for I wouldn’t be here to know if she ever accepted it or not.

But mid-May of this year is also kind of memorable as that’s when I first found Maliheh online. I just wish I didn’t have to go and be such a jerk like I was at first. But it’s true that my initial plan wasn’t to be very nice at all. “You’re still a hot-looking bitch,” I remember saying to myself when I saw her pictures. “Yes, your worst nightmare has risen from the past straight out of hell and right into cyberspace, you heart-breaking bitch!” I flashed an evil grin and started learning whatever I could about her. I didn’t learn much. Either I’m a lousy detective or this is just a very private person.

Then I thought she was harassing me on Formspring and I really got mad. “Ok, here comes trouble! Yes, ready or not here I come! I’m coming to pick on your weight, even though I’m the one who got fat and not you. And I’m going to pick on your friends too, even if one of them contacted me first before I knew what the hell was going on. I’m gonna pick on you, tease you, taunt you… and WTF?! You mean my Formspring tormenter is Andy?!

“Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid fool!” I screamed at myself. And then the guilt set in and bit hard. Real hard. I tried to make amends. I was unsuccessful. But the good thing is that I don’t usually repeat my mistakes, so she has nothing to worry about in the future even if she still hates me and always will and thinks I’m a major fuck-up and an ugly dog who’s dumber than dumb.

But then I thought it was her that had come to communicate with me and this put a smile on my face. A huge one. Yeah, I still had a thing for her despite any hurt or anger in the picture.

Then I learned it was an impersonator. Bummer! But I’m mostly sure that the real one is reading her story. Probably not the journal, but the story. And so I feel “connected.” It’s a nice feeling and I’m enjoying it while it lasts and keeping my word about behaving even if the damage is already done and it’s too late. I love my husband dearly, but sometimes I wonder about those could’ve beens and might’ve beens, and well, I don’t want to get to crying now, so I’ll move on and try not to beat myself up for what can’t be changed or blame others. If I do, it’s too easy to get caught up in thinking – if my mother hadn’t abused me, maybe I wouldn’t have been so screwed up, and if her mother hadn’t been such a bitch, maybe she would’ve been a better mother, and if my great, great, great, great grandparents hadn’t have done whatever… Gotta admit, though, that if someone told me 20 years ago she’d one day read a story of mine – any story – and so could anyone in the world if they wanted to, I’d have laughed my ass off!

I have her picture on the wall and I admire it every day. If I knew this bothered her I’d yank it off the wall and tear it up. I swear I would!

I plan on working on Evil today, whether I do or do not start chiseling out the start of Sugar Bella and For Keeps. For Keeps was originally going to be Evil’s subtitle, but I decided I liked it for the story I have in mind with Nane which will be filled with much more suspense than Evil has been so far.

I haven’t heard from Nane lately. She doesn’t appear to have been on LM or FB. I know she’s busy with the new job and getting ready for her trip. Hopefully this weekend she’ll return the hug I sent her. :)

Not sure I want to sell Evil unless it’s for an insane amount of money. I want a grand for this manuscript otherwise it’s a no-go. Even though I often use real-life characters and even though it was a bummer to learn that the person asking me and inspiring me to write it wasn’t the real Maliheh, this story will always be one of the more special ones. Selling copies of stories is one thing, but literally selling the story – my very own creation – is another. It’s just not easy to do if the price isn’t right or if it’s not something I’m writing for someone else that is out of my usual style and genre.

I’ve been asked to throw Nane into Evil, but I can’t see any way to fit her into it at this point.

Irene, a friend of mine here, asked to be in my next book and said she can be good, bad - anything I want, LOL. I told her I could squeeze her into Evil, but I have to dramatically change her age, LOL. If she doesn’t have a problem with this, like the real Maliheh apparently didn’t when I notified her on Facebook that I would be publishing the story, then I will go ahead and throw her in. She didn’t say not to use her real last name, but I won’t anyway, as that’s something I don’t usually do.

I don’t know that I’ll be posting any more stories in the future until and if I set up a site and sell them. But I will email copies to anyone who wants them.

Andy left a message saying he’s been so busy he hasn’t had time to read my journal, and I told him not to worry because it’s boring anyway. He replied with, “Your journal is NEVER boring. That’s why so many people all over the world read it, including myself. Keep writing!”

Aw, how sweet, huh?

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casspurrjoybell-17 · 9 months ago

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Hart and Hunter - Chapter 10 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Dane Hunter

Briefly, I describe Detective Derek Erickson and my, mutual dislike and the two most recent incidents.

"Wow. What a dick," she concludes when I finish.

"And what kind of dick name is 'Derek Erickson' anyway?"

"Figure he can't help his name," I say.

"The rest is another matter."

"You know where he lives?"

"Not off-hand. Why?"

She leans on my arm as we walk.

"We should go to his house as Wolves... teach him a lesson."

I stop in my tracks, taken aback.

"Why would you even suggest that?"

"I don't mean we'd hurt him," she says quickly, frowning at me with wide eyes.

"I just meant we should scare him a little."

I shake my head and start walking again.

"That isn't how we do things, Grids."

She jogs to keep up with me.

"Shit, I was just joking," she says, beginning to sulk and sounding a little out of breath.

"Don't take everything so serious."

I hold my silence until we reach the car.

As we load our bags in the back, I clear my throat.

"Look, I know some Packs do things differently but Mom and Dad never used the Wolf to harm or frighten and neither will I and don't say stuff like that around Julian... even as a joke."

"Jeez, Dane," she huffs.

"He's not a baby. He's..."

"He was Hunted, Ingrid," I snap.

"By wolves who meant to kill him. I still see that fear in his eyes, sometimes, when he looks at me as a wolf. Even if he knows I never would, he knows what I could do,and that's enough. So don't talk about scaring people... even as a joke."

"Fine," she says, suitably chagrined.

"I'm sorry."

Sighing, I release the tension that's been building up in my shoulders since 'Pauline' realized who she was talking to.

"Don't worry about it and it's not like I'm any better... I threatened Erickson to his face when he dropped a hint he knows about you. Guess you musta made some impression on his sister."

Ingrid huffs again and settles back in her seat with her arms crossed.

"She's alright. She's just..."

"The sort who likes 'diversity' as long as it makes her look good?" I suggest and she nods.

"She offered me some of her hand-me-down clothes. I can afford my own damn clothes, thanks."

I grunt and suddenly, the hair appointment and the shopping spree make more sense.

"Well," I say, looking over at her.

"Even though I'd never do it and I don't condone even joking about such a thing, I'll admit I've fantasized about scaring the shit out of Erickson myself, once or twice."

She giggles, spirits restored.

At the same time, my cell-phone buzzes and I see Noah's name on the screen.

I answer it.

"Noah. You got something for me, bro?"

"Dane... those runes you sent me. Where did you find them again?"

"Written on the walls of a couple of stores that got burglarized. Are they Fae, like Julian thought?"

"Definitely," Noah pauses and I wait, giving him a chance to get his thoughts and words in order.

Brilliant linguist though he may be, he has an ironic tendency to stutter when he's nervous.

"Do you remember how Fae runes have multiple layers of meaning?" he asks.

"Not really."

To be honest, I never paid that much attention.

"Well, they do. Depending on the context, the same rune can indicate a sound or a syllable, a whole word or a name or an entire range of concepts. Connotation and denotation and so on."

"Uh huh."

It's easier to pretend I know what he's talking about than to invite more explanation.

"Anyway, the runes you sent me could mean a bunch of different things but I narrowed it down to a few I thought made the most sense. The second one... the one you said they found in the bike-shop... means 'justice' or 'done' and can also mean 'death' or 'fate.' It's also a Fae family name... ha' Lárán."

"Which means?"

"Son of Lárán, I'd guess," Noah says.

"So, did the thief or murderer, sign his crime? Or is it just coincidence?"

"I don't know but I'd say the meaning is intentional."

"And the first rune?"

Noah hesitates and I wait as patiently as I can, imagining him beginning to pace or fiddle with something as he does when nervous.

"That one was harder. The meaning of the runes can change depending on how they're written... right side up, upside down or paired with other runes. As best as I can tell, it means 'warning' or 'danger' and..."

"And what?"

"And it's also the rune for a stag," he pauses, as if this should mean something important to me but I draw a blank.

"A stag. So?"

"A specific kind of stag," Noah continues.

"One that's old enough to be hunted."

Something Julian once told me comes back to me and I go stiff.

"A hart?"

"The word's not the same, of course but that would be the most accurate translation."

"Shit. So, is it a warning or a threat?"

"That, I can't say but either way, it would seem to be meant for Julian."

I rub my hand over my mouth.

"Anything else?"

"No, that's all I could discern. But send me anything else you find," his voice warms with academic enthusiasm as he speaks and I can't help smiling as I imagine him pushing his glasses up his nose and taking notes.

"This is actually quite fascinating. The runes are an older form, so my interpretations are somewhat subjective, of course but..."

"Thanks, Noah. We'll be in touch," I say, cutting him before he gets too far into lecture mode and end the call.

"What did he say?" Ingrid asks, as I put the car in reverse and back out of the parking spot.

"He figures it might not be coincidence Julian found the first rune. It has the same meaning as his last name and was probably meant for him."

"What about the second one?"

"That could be a name, too, though I haven't heard it before.. 'ha' Lárán' or something."

"Halloran? Isn't that the guy Jules is with?"

I admit my car's not the quietest ride but Ingrid's wolf's ears should be able to compensate for the noise at her age.

"No, not 'Halloran.' It's..." I trail off as the sounds align and then swear.

The way Julian had stared at the guy had made no sense, almost as if he'd recognized him, somehow.

"Shit. Hold on to your lunch," I say.

"We're about to break some speed limits."

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naboman · 11 months ago

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𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

Chapter Three: Like Batman and Robin. Description: [Name] takes the first positive step in his project, and things finally seem to be progressing successfully. Warnings: slightly suggestive.

[Previous] [Next]

"Think of us as an outsourced team with a mutual sense of dissatisfaction. Isn't it wonderful?"

"Let's start our little meeting," I declared, with a mischievous smile and a stretch of my arms.

He simply gave me a quizzical side glance, not offensive, but rather defensive, as if he were anticipating the strike of a venomous and vile snake. I clicked my tongue.

"Just kidding," I said, and he continued to gaze at me with a raised eyebrow. "What's up? Are you going to keep looking at me like that forever?"

"What's with this fake good humor?" he asked with suspicion in his voice, leaning his arms on the table. Mitsuya didn't beat around the bush, I noticed that in our short time together, and by 'time together,' I mean the last few days we spent together, which I already consider too much time.

"Are you doubting my goodwill?" I asked a bit more seriously and somewhat offended, feeling the corner of my smile tremble, indignant.

"The fact that you're never in a good mood makes me suspicious of your intentions, [Name]," he justified.

"I'll pretend I'm not offended by that."

"Did I offend you? Sorry, I was just being straightforward," he laughed.

"Your honesty is admirable, but I won't praise you for it."

The secluded table where we were allowed us to speak freely about our "partnership" - with several air quotes - and there was no risk of anyone else overhearing. After all, I didn't want to be known as someone who mingles with society's delinquents.

I soon spotted Kyouka arriving with glasses of water, wearing her usual tired expression. Kyouka attends the school next door, so we occasionally run into each other on the way home. The brunette placed the glasses on the table, giving a brief bow before leaving. Meanwhile, I quickly took out the papers from my bag.

"Weren't you the shop attendant?" Mitsuya asked when the brunette turned away, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Today is my day off," I replied with disdain. "I work every other day; tomorrow, for example, I have work. It was an agreement I made, so I have time to organize the student council documents."

"I see," was the only thing he responded, looking focused until I laid out the documents in front of him, waiting for his statement. "And what is this?"

"Technically, it's the 'proof' that I will submit to the president's desk on Monday," I air-quoted with my fingers. "Since we're going to work on a yearbook, well... Together, I'll be trailing you for almost a whole year, Mitsuya."

"So, are we a team then?" he dared to ask, with an almost playful tone. Almost.

"With several objections, but we can say, in the most filtered way, we are," I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat. "Think of us as Batman and Robin, okay? It's easier to handle that way. Well, I'm Batman, and you can be Robin if you want."

"The way you talk makes it sound like Robin is completely irrelevant," he commented, displeased.

"It's because the Dark Knight works alone, but well, don't take it personally," I shrugged in a comedic manner, but soon changed the subject, returning to the initial atmosphere. "Anyway... Sign here."

He wandered his eyes over the paper. Does he think I'm deceiving him? Because technically, he's not entirely wrong.

I would be lying – or not – if I said I wasn't heartbroken by such atrocity. How can someone doubt such a good and helpful human being like me?

"Don't be shy, read it carefully," I said, and Mitsuya paid more attention to my words. "We have until Monday, so don't feel pressured."

'Although I am pressured you'. I wanted to say the last part, I admit I wanted to. But I chose to keep my mouth shut.

"Do you want a pen?" I asked, taking a pink pen out of my bag.

"No need, I'll read this later," he replied, putting away the paper.

"Too bad, she smells of berries."

"You don't look like the kind of person who uses colored pens," he said, pointing with his chin, "and with fruits smell."

"I collect colored pens. "

"You do?" I nodded positively.

"It's my hobby. "

He looked surprised, but shrugged. We soon put an end to that.

It wasn't a total lie, after all, my specialty was collecting things, ever since… Ever? And not things like bottle caps or toy cars. I take my belongings very seriously, and when they're no longer needed, I throw them away like trash.

"We're closing up" Kyouka appeared from beside my chair, nudging my shoulder.

"But already? Well, all right," I put my things in my bag rather hurriedly, hardly noticing how quickly the time had passed, "Mitsuya, you…"

When I went to question him, he was no longer in the front seat, but at the front door. He was looking at me, signaling for us to leave. I expected him to go through first, but instead he waited for me to pass before slowly closing the door behind me, his cavalier behavior leaving me feeling rather disgusted.

Who does he think he is? I'm Batman! I give the orders!

I sighed, throwing a tantrum now wasn't going to help me, so I decided to just let it go and get out of here.

I put my coat on quickly, as the freezing air made my arms shiver with the sudden caress of the wind.

"Want a lift? " I was almost startled by the question, as it came like a punch of cold air, but I felt relief when I remembered the voice, proving that it was just my poltergeist. For the second time he was being very helpful, I could get used to good behavior, but being spoiled wouldn't make me like the person he was any better.

When I turned my head a little, I noticed that he was already getting on his bike to leave, the dazzling headlights blinding me for a mere moment.

"I'm going with Kyouka," I said.

Actually, it was just a lame excuse not to get on a motorcycle. I don't trust cars with less than four wheels.

"Oh, right," he nodded, understanding, "see you then, [Name]. "

"See you" I waved as soon as he started the motocycle and drove off.

As he drove off, I just enjoyed the light of the headlights disappearing into the darkness.

"I'm going with Kyouka…" the brunette from a little further away murmured, imitating my voice in a shrill, unmelodic tone, eyeing me suspiciously "you're just scared of riding a motorcycle."

"What? I'm not!" I denied, crossing my arms "You should know that my intention was just to keep you company, you ungrateful. "

"Fearful. "

Before we could continue our childish argument, she took off walking, while arranging her bag on her shoulder. I quickly followed the girl's quick steps - like a tantruming child who has lost in an adult argument.

I put the florescent green folder on top of the wood, securing my place at the table. It may sound childish and even a bit banal, but I hate having my seat with my back to the door, it's as if at any moment someone is going to catch me talking badly about the president. Not that there's a story behind it, but it's always good to be safe.

In the end, I got the end chair, near the window, not was a place to throw away. The room is on the second floor, in the middle of the corridor, with three windows covered by burgundy curtains - it looks like an old man decorated this room, I feel fifty years older in here - facing the courtyard. As loosely as possible, I leaned my right leg on the chair I was sitting on, swinging my left back and forth as I absent-mindedly checked the paper that Mitsuya had handed me back at the school entrance, he seemed to be in a hurry, so he just intercepted me before leaving with agile steps to make his own way.

I still find his formality a little cloying, but it's not something to complain about at this point.

I turned my attention back to the door when I heard the wood click shut.

Suzume held two stacked boxes in her arms, and despite their weight, she gave me a warm smile. Placing the boxes on the table, I felt my curious face involuntarily appear, and before I could stop myself, I asked:

"What is it?" I leaned over, stretching my arms across the table like a cat about to steal food.

"It's the math assessments," he replied, "the teachers said it would be better to keep them here."

"Wow…" I let out a murmur, Suzume noticed my greed "can I see mine?"

"Of course not!" she denied, "like everyone else, you have to wait. "

"Where are my privileges? I thought being part of the guild was good," I lamented sentimentally.

"And it is very good! " Only if it's for you, but that would have been too rude and she was too excited to cut her off "the pleasure of helping others and being able to help in any way we can, that's the duty of the guild! It's a very honorable task. "

"Nice speech. " I clapped my hands, without a hint of encouragement.

"Thank you! "

I blinked.

"You're welcome…" I replied. I thought she'd noticed the humor, or the lack of it.

When the door opened again, Suzume turned back, and I had to stretch to see who was behind her.

"The kid from the guild has arrived… " I muttered, with a smile abruptly stretching across my lips.

"You?"

"passed far."

"Really? I thought you were the only irresponsible one in the guild," Yuuma retorted acidly.

"So you don't know our second treasurer. "

"Talking about me?" the other boy entered the room, with a laziness that could be measured like the density of a star.

"Ah, Tezuka, good to see you," I said, waving my hand.

"I can say the same," was all he said, before moving to another corner of the table with a drag of his feet.

"The president is late…" Suzume said fearfully, joining the table.

"As usual…" I added with a forced cough.

"[Name]!" she scolded me.

"But it's true! " I retorted, laughing.

We stopped talking when the door was opened once again, this time, because of the silence, the slamming of the door gave the impression of having been much louder.

"Good morning!" the president walked past us, and quickly settled down at the table, as he always did, and right behind him was Mizushima "we will now begin our meeting."

We began by presenting our weekly reports and the buzz that had been going around the school over the last few days. Suzume took the trouble to warn the president about the math assessments, and also commented on something I never expected to hear while I was at this school; two students were caught in the basketball supplies room, doing things that were "disgraceful".

I had to hold back my laughter, but I could feel my lips trembling from the sheer desire to laugh as the other members listened wide-eyed in amazement.

"And what did the coach do?" the secretary next to me asked with curiosity and hesitation.

"He closed the door and waited for them to get dressed," Suzume recounted with redness taking shape on her face.

"God…" he muttered, disappointed. But when he looked at me in the corner, he noticed my difficulty in hiding what was gradually taking over my face "Are you laughing?"

"Who? Me?" I asked, pretending to be misunderstood, then recomposing my posture "Come on, we're talking about something serious here. Show more composure, please. "

"Don't play crazy."

"You're the only 'crazy' one here," I retorted, until I stood up, clearing my throat to change the direction of the conversation "Well, since we've finished our little lesson on sexual orientation, I think it's my turn to declare my report. "

"[Name], now it's not…"

"Go ahead," the president cut off my seatmate, crossing his fingers on the table and holding his face, "you can talk. "

I took a deep breath.

"A few days ago, I contacted our president to restore the project that, technically, I may have destroyed of my own free will," I began, feeling the gaze of the others on me, "and following the rules of our contract, I found a way to stand out in the project AND in the school newspaper."

Mizushima stared at me, dumbfounded.

"I'm going to use everything I've got to write about Tokyo's delinquents," I said, but no one seemed to be listening.

As usual, I took them by surprise.

"And… what exactly do you want to achieve with that? " Yuuma must have taken the words out of the president's mouth, because even he started to pay more attention.

"That's a good question," I commented ecstatically, "everyone here should know that delinquents are a group that is little "explored" during school time, and that begs the question: how do their disagreements occur outside the school perimeter? And how do their conflicts unfold? Why does this happen?" I simulated: "Well, don't worry, I'll answer all your questions. Because the school newspaper will work daily on clear and totally truthful descriptions of what goes on in the polluted and negligent reality of delinquents. "

"For what purpose, may I ask, Ms. [Name]?" Suzume stretched out her hand to ask quietly and hesitantly.

"We will do this in order to work towards improving the school environment and making education more attractive to this desperate young community," I raised my hand in a confident fist.

Nothing could shake my confidence now, not even the president.

"And how do you plan to do that? " Suzume asked again, worried.

"I have my contacts," I replied, smiling pretentiously, "it's a great chance to pay more attention to society's rebels and get the answers that lead us to ask the reasons for their revolt. "

I was talking a lot more than usual, but if everything goes according to plan, it'll be under control.

"I see… Right. " the president agreed.

"How?"

"Everything's fine," he repeated, a smile filling his warm lips, "I agree with your perspective, [Name]. "

I was unsettled, but all I did was nod as impassively as possible and collapse into the chair behind me.

In the end, the meeting went on unbearably until the end - except for me - and then we were allowed to leave the room.

"I'm glad you took charge and controlled the situation," Yamazaki stopped me at the door, "I told you I'd manage, after all, I chose you. "

"É… Thank you, I appreciate the opportunity," I said before leaving, seeing him give me a subtle smile before letting me go.

I walked quickly, distancing myself and arriving at the stairs at the end of the corridor. Little did he know that this person full of potential almost had an epileptic fit while dictating.

With my hands in my jacket pockets, I passed through the empty corridor, clear of any living soul. I stared at the door of the arts and crafts club in complete silence. From a distance, I saw a door opening vaguely. I had no idea which club was resident in the room, but as soon as I recognized the distant figure, I knew it was the Home Economics club.

I approached, patting the boy twice on the shoulder, making him raise his eyes over his shoulder.

"I managed to convince the president," I said directly.

"That's great," he replied, obviously pleased.

We started walking down the corridor together.

"Mitsuya, what's it like being part of a gang?"}

I continued to stare down the corridor, avoiding direct eye contact - given that he was right next to me.

He seemed to think for a moment.

"It would be like… belonging to something," he mused, "why the question?

"Curiosity," I shrugged.

"Anything new?"

"Yes. Two people had sex at school yesterday."

"Unexpected. " His expression was one of surprise, not completely, but still the expression of a man caught off guard.

"The coach of the basketball team caught them in the act," I added humorously, "I could have written about it, but I didn't have time this week."

"You wanted to tell the whole school about other people's relationships?" he frowned, shocked.

"Yes, why not? " I retorted at the same moment, and that was certainly the most innocent question I've asked all year.

"Don't you think that's invading other people's privacy?"

"Isn't that what newspapers do?"

"Well… yes, but still…" he agreed begrudgingly. "Maybe you wouldn't want them to write about you having sex. "

"And they won't," I laughed with a certain determination, "because I'm always one step ahead. "

"Very optimistic of you," Mitsuya looked at me with a curious expression.

"But of course, it's necessary to maintain my good reputation," I added, "but if you're worried about my victims, don't be, I always leave those involved anonymous," I warned, not that this improved the situation, "but since we're here, I want to ask you a question. "

"Go ahead. "

I took a deep breath before turning to him with the friendliest expression I could manage.

"Would you be willing to teach me about the world of delinquency? "

#mitsuya tokyo revengers #mitsuya x reader #mitsuya takashi #takashi mitsuya #tokyo revengers mitsuya #mitsuya x you #toyko revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo manji gang #tokyo revengers

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casspurrjoybell-18 · 2 years ago

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Mutual Desire - Chapter 65b

*Warning - Adult Content*

Damien Clark slowly lifted his head and met Craig's stern gaze, clearly waiting for Damien to answer him.

He remained silent, however, and the more the seconds passed, the more it was obvious that he wouldn't be speaking anytime soon.

Damien categorically refused to talk about Alexander Nabokov or even go as far as mentioning his name.

It was a line that he had decided not to cross.

Another bomb dropped by Craig was what broke the silence created by Damien. And damn, what a fucking bomb.

"Was it Nicolas' boss?" Craig asked nonchalantly.

Damien's eyes widened immensely as his heart rate had probably defied the laws of biology.

He had never been so amazed in his whole life until this moment.

Has Craig become some type of seer?

How had he guessed exactly who this someone was?

Someone he had only met once and briefly.

How?

"Looks like I hit the nail on the head," Craig confirmed with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

Damien had so many questions but the words were stuck in his dry throat.

All he could do was stare in awe at the person responsible for such astonishment.

"I hadn't paid too much attention to it when he came to see you at my place because I knew you were helping Nicolas with a project related to his work," Craig explained calmly, the sharp touch in his voice magically disappearing.

"It's true that I did find it a little bit weird but I didn't dwell on it too much, naively thinking that there was surely a good explanation for him coming to see you that late."

Craig chuckled bitterly and shook his head slightly.

Damien could only listen to Craig's explanation of how he had managed to link the dots while struggling to breath properly.

"It was dumb of me to believe that but hey what do you want? I blindly trusted you."

Damien's breathing was starting to get irregular and he felt like he was going to pass out soon.

"When I found out who this man was by doing a quick google search of the company's name that was written on the package of your mac that was shipped to me, I knew something wasn't quite right."

Damien lowered his head and closed his eyes before opening them again.

He didn't need to hear the rest of Craig's little investigation story.

He already had a clear picture of how and why his boyfriend had made such connections which then brought him to the exact conclusion.

He couldn't bear to hear anything anymore.

"When the CEO of a billion-dollar company comes in his own spare time to see someone who doesn't even work for him, it will obviously raise a few eyebrows," the head nurse said, continuing his explanation.

"When I think about it, it's true that I felt a certain tension but I didn't dwell on it."

Damien brought his head back straight and his eyes collided with Craig's.

He was wordless and in a minute, he would probably be boy-friendless.

He just didn't know what to say.

What could he say?

Damien was literally seeing his relation crumble before his eyes, and he couldn't blame anyone but himself.

"You're not going to say anything?" Craig remarked.

Damien's tears that had ceased to wet his cheeks began to flow again.

But his tears hardly seemed to affect Craig who remained unmoved.

"Well, I have something to say to you or rather something to ask. How long has he been fucking you behind my back?"

Faced with such an accusation, Damien quickly found his voice.

"We have never slept together," Damien quickly said indignantly.

Craig crossed his arms, his face showing no sign of anger.

"But you spent the night at his place yesterday. So, what did you two do all night hmm? Play cards?"

Damien couldn't blame Craig for making such a well-justified presumption.

He had spent the night with another man.

You didn't need to be gifted with a great imagination to guess what might have happened.

"We've never slept together, Craig," Damien repeated calmly.

"I swear to you."

Craig didn't seem at all convinced by the doubtful look he was giving Damien and by his unusual silence in the conversation.

The two men stared silently at each other for a moment.

Damien was aware that the burden of proof was on his shoulders since Craig had every reason in the world not to take his word for it and all the reasons to not do otherwise.

"I swear it on my dad's ashes," Damien whispered, looking Craig straight in the eye without blinking.

It was only by swearing on his late father that Craig would believe Damien.

There was no other way taken by Damien to try to prove his innocence that would have worked.

Craig uncrossed his arms and his features softened completely.

"But you guys did other things."

It wasn't a question but rather an assertion that Damien had no intention of confirming or deny.

He didn't feel like having this type of conversation at all like it and now wasn't the time to discuss what he had done or not done with the Russian man and talking about it surely wasn't what would make things right.

Craig, on the other hand, didn't seem to see it that way.

"He sucked you off?" Craig asked.

Damien fled Craig's gaze, placing his head to the side, offering his profile to his boyfriend.

An image of Nabokov's head between his legs sucking him infiltrated Damien's thoughts who quickly squeezed them aside.

He had no intention of responding to that and he wanted to quickly find a way to shift the conversation to another topic.

"Did you suck him off?" Craig continued on his quest for an answer.

Damien turned his head fully forward and gave Craig a slight irritated look.

"Craig, please," Damien pleaded in a strangled voice.

Damien didn't understand why Craig insisted so much on knowing the love fest between him and Nabokov.

He didn't see what Craig gained by hearing about these completely insignificant details aside of being hurt by them.

Wasn't it enough to know that the two men hadn't slept together?

"Have you started to use drugs again?"

"No," Damien Clark interposed fiercely.

He had been unable to control his aggressive tone when Craig had wanted to bring back a dark moment from his past.

A past that Damien was hardly proud of.

Damien struggled to grasp the reasons that led Craig to believe that his infidelity was somehow necessarily linked to this dark period in the life.

Craig's reaction to Damien's slightly loud tone and his outraged expression insulted by the presumption his boyfriend had made was one of impassivity.

He continued to scrutinize Damien in silence, surely trying to figure out if his boyfriend was telling the truth.

Although Craig's assumptions hurt him and the images of his past resurfaced, Damien had no intention of swearing on his late father again to gain Craig's trust.

Once had been enough.

"I'll come back for my things," Craig informed Damien without emotion in his voice.

The head nurse walked towards Damien and when the shoulders of the two men almost collided, Damien suddenly grabbed Craig's hand who then stopped his walk.

"Craig, please let me explain. Don't leave me," Damien pleaded, holding Craig's hand firmly.

Craig frowned, as Damien's tears resumed their flow.

"Leave you? No, Damien," Craig said, shaking his head in disagreement.

"I'm not leaving you. You are leaving me. You left the moment you started seeing this guy."

Damien shook his head.

"No that's not true. I love you Craig. I love you more than anything."

Craig brushed Damien's left cheek and he wiped Damien's tears away with his fingertips.

"I love you too but to be able to love you I need to start by loving myself and if I love myself, then I can't stay with you. Not after all that. It's over.”

Craig was about to leave, but Damien added pressure on Craig's hand which he continued to hold fiercely.

"Craig. Please forgive me. I beg you."

Craig watched Damien for a moment with an exceptionally gentle gaze.

"I'm going to ask you a question and if your answer is yes, then I'll forgive you and stay with you."

Damien wasn't sure he had heard correctly but he didn't even dare to move or even breathe.

He wanted to be more than ready to hear this question that would decide the fate of his relationship and even more to answer it.

"Do you deserve me?"

Damien felt like time had frozen as he tried to take in what Craig had just asked him.

When he was able to fully comprehend, he realized that he had just heard words he never thought would hurt him so much.

The worst part was that he was physically and mentally unable to speak.

He could only stare at his boyfriend who had asked him a question that under other circumstances would only have taken two seconds to answer.

"After all of that, do you deserve my trust, do you deserve the love I have for you?" Craig added.

"Do you deserve me?"

Once again, Damien had fallen into silence.

However, the answer was more than obvious.

It was so obvious that even an eight-year-old could have given it away.

But Damien refused to be the one to give it.

He would rather die than say yes just as he would rather die than say no.

So, he remained silent, pleading with Craig with his tearful eyes to end his ordeal.

Clearly taking Damien's silence as a response on his own, Craig let a faint sad smile run through his lips.

"You should call Nicolas and tell him you're okay. He's worried sick for you. Goodbye, Damien."

And Nick was going to continue to worry because Damien was utterly demolished inside.

He didn't resist when Craig undid the forced hand holding his wrist nor did he watch as Craig left his apartment, as he didn't dare turn or run after to hold him back.

When Damien heard the door slam and had confirmation that he was now alone, he collapsed on the floor right next to the small glass table.

It wasn't long before a shower of tears flooded his already wet cheeks.

1 note · View note

babyboibucky · 4 years ago

Text

Nasty

Pairing: TFATWS!Bucky x Reader

Summary: You discover that Bucky, a black shirt and a wrist watch is a dangerous combination.

Word Count: 1,957

Warnings: TFATWS SPOILERS!!! Bucky in THAT tight black shirt, fingering, fucking on the counter, a lil’ bit of choking, very tiny hint at pain kink???

A/N: Like I said, I will never shut up about Bucky in that black shirt and the veins on his fucking arm!!!!!!! Dedicated to my nasty boo and wifey @bitchassbucky @sarge-barnes-sir because I know how thirsty we are for episode 4 Bucky 🥰🥰🥰

MAIN MASTERLIST

gif by @mcavoys tysm for this wonderful treasure that I may or may not have saved on my phone for research purposes 😌

All your thoughts flew right outside the window the moment Bucky barged into the mansion, his footsteps heavy and a scowl etched on his face. Shrugging off his jacket, it was revealed that he was merely sporting a tight black shirt which showed off his body perfectly.

The sleeves were so tight around his bicep that you couldn’t even comprehend whatever it was that Bucky was talking about. And those veins on his right arm? You had to bite the inside of your cheek to prevent a needy whine from escaping your throat.

Bucky looked ravishing in that simple outfit and the watch wrapped around his wrist did nothing to alleviate your thirst for the man.

You and Bucky have been dancing around each other since the two of you met. A little bit of flirting here and there, a few innuendos in between conversations— it was pretty obvious that there was a mutual attraction involved. However, no one seemed to be bold enough to actually do something about the spark.

But with how Bucky was unconsciously flexing his right arm as he poured himself a drink or crossed his arms over his broad chest, you weren’t sure for how long you would be able to to hold back.

“You listening still or have we lost you halfway through this discussion?” Bucky asked, eyeing you suspiciously before taking a sip from his drink.

“Huh?” You blinked in confusion, your eyes landing on his arm yet again and taking in how prominent his veins were.

What you wouldn’t do to run your fingers against that arm or to have your tongue trace that particular vein. Majority of people often paid attention to Bucky’s vibranium arm and you had to admit, you used to have nasty thoughts about it as well.

But Bucky’s flesh arm? It stirred something in you, something filthy and primal and you badly needed to do something to address it.

“I don’t think we had her attention in the first place. Since you arrived, at least.”

You turned to Sam with a glare, “Sam.” You warned.

He merely shrugged with a teasing grin before standing up, “Just saying.” He defended before excusing himself, disappearing into one of the many rooms in the mansion.

Bucky took another sip from his drink as he watched you react to his arm, your lips parting as you followed its every movement. You imagined clawing at that arm, nails scratching at his skin as you grabbed onto it while Bucky pounds into you. Or how that arm would reach around to hold your back against his chest, keeping you in place with his hand wrapped around your throat while he fucks you from behind.

“You’re thinking of something.” Bucky said.

“Want to guess?” You asked breathlessly when you noticed the look Bucky was giving you.

Oh, he knows what you were thinking about, probably because he was thinking about it too. The harmless flirting had been going on for far too long, building up the tension between you both until it reached its boiling point.

The only question was, who’s going to snap first?

“If I guess correctly, what’s in it for me?” Bucky curiously asked, raising a brow at you.

“I’ll do anything you ask of me.” You answered quickly before leaning against the countertop using your forearms.

“Anything, huh? That’s interesting.” Bucky said, mimicking your stance on the other side of the counter.

Bucky’s nose almost brushed against yours at the close proximity and that alone made your pussy throb. Fuck, you were going to snap first and Zemo be damned, you were going to get down and dirty with Bucky even if he was in the same room.

“So, any guesses?” You asked as you stared at Bucky’s lips.

“You want to take me to bed.” Bucky responded so casually, but his voice was an octave lower, raspier.

A quick shuffle followed by an emphasized cough interrupted the moment. You turned your neck and saw Zemo dusting off his coat.

“I better go and give the both of you some privacy.” He awkwardly said before slipping into a room, closing the doors immediately.

When you turned back to Bucky, his eyes were darker than before and his breathing heavier. “Gotta say, that man knows how to read the room.”

Bucky snapped first. And thank the horny gods he did because you couldn’t wait until tonight to show him how much you wanted him.

He grabbed you by the back of your head and kissed you, a moan slipping past your lips when he pulled you closer ignoring the counter that was separating you both. The edge was digging against your chest and albeit uncomfortable, you pushed yourself further to return Bucky’s kiss with the same fervor. He took it as an opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, entangling it with yours as he deepened the kiss.

Bucky was leaving you breathless with his kiss, only pulling away to let you climb up the counter until you were seated right in front of him with your legs on either side of his hips.

“Fuck me, Bucky. God, please.” You begged and grabbed his arms, moaning when you felt his right bicep flex beneath your fingers.

Bucky bit your lower lip and tugged at it, grunting as he popped the button of your jeans with his right hand. He literally popped off the button and sent it flying somewhere. The display of his strength just turned you on even more and you grabbed Bucky by the neck to kiss him again.

You squeaked into his mouth when he wrapped his vibranium arm around your lower back, pulling you down from the counter and then spinning you around.

“I’ll fuck you so good you’ll feel me in between your legs for weeks.” He growled into your ear as he harshly pulled down your jeans until it reached your thighs.

Your hands gripped the edge of the counter, your back arching when you feel Bucky’s metal hand reach around to part your pussy lips, spreading your wetness around using his middle finger.

“All this for me?” Bucky rasped into your ear.

A whine came out as a respond as you eagerly nodded your head, “All for you.” You managed to whimper.

Bucky began to rub your cunt, making you press your ass against his crotch. His right hand moved to grip your shirt in the middle, literally tearing it apart. It wasn’t a secret that Bucky had super strength and that his vibranium arm was an advantage. Seeing him show what strength his right arm had, by shredding your shirt into pieces, it made your entire body buzz from pure unadulterated need.

You needed Bucky to manhandle you, to use his brute strength to ruin you.

“You’re so turned on right now, aren’t you? Fuck, you enjoy it when I’m rough with you.” Bucky darkly chuckled before unclasping your bra, setting your breasts free for him to grope.

Bucky then moved back but only to shove down his jeans until his hard cock bobbed free, hitting your ass in the process. He wasted no time to spread your cheeks apart and you bent down willingly, sticking your ass out invitingly.

“You want this so bad, you’re fucking dripping.” Bucky groaned at the sight of your glistening pussy.

He held his cock and slowly pushed it in, letting out a growl at how easily he slid in from how wet you were. Inch by inch, you felt his cock drag along your channel until he was fully seated within your warmth.

“Bucky...” you elicited a moan. “You fill me up so good...” you breathed out, pushing back to feel more of him.

The way you clenched around his cock drove Bucky wild, his right arm immediately wrapping around you to grip your throat. Bucky pulled you upright as he started pistoling his hips against yours, fucking you hard and fast against the counter.

You grabbed his arm with both hands, nails finally digging onto his skin as you focused on how Bucky was fucking you so good. It was even better than you had imagined. His metal hand on your hip, fingers gripping you hard enough to leave you with bruises; his right arm keeping you flush against his hard chest, holding onto you so tight you could actually feel the band of his watch digging against the skin on your chest.

Only Bucky’s grunts together with your moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin was heard from then on. You were deep into your pleasure to even speak or call out his name.

Bucky wasn’t even done fucking you but you were already out of it, close to delirious even.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when Bucky bit your earlobe at the same time his metal fingers pressed your clit.

Choking on a moan, your body trembled as you violently came on Bucky’s cock, your fingers scratching at his right arm as you rode out your orgasm wave after wave.

“God, so fucking tight. Can I cum inside you, baby?” Bucky moaned and pressed an open-mouthed kiss on your jaw, sucking the skin just beneath your ear.

You nod enthusiastically, humming in approval as you moved your hips to match Bucky’s brutal thrusts.

“Gonna cum, baby. Fuck!”

Warm ropes of Bucky’s release filled you up, his hips continuing to thrust into you as he let your pulsating cunt milk his cock dry. Bucky fell forward, supporting his weight with his hands on the countertop to prevent his huge body from crushing you.

Bucky pressed a kiss on the back of your head as he let go of your neck, pulling his softening member out of your pussy and tucking it back into his jeans.

He rubbed your back and allowed you to catch your breath, taking your rest as a chance to look down at your pussy as his cum seeped out of it. Bucky licked his lips at the sight and used two of his flesh fingers to push back his release into your cunt before lifting your underwear and jeans up.

“Am I dead?” You asked when Bucky spun you around again.

He chuckled and kissed you, fixing your bra and clasping it back on. Bucky wrapped his jacket around your body, apologizing for ripping your shirt apart.

“You back, baby?” Bucky asked as he moved your hair away from your face.

You looked spent and well-fucked. He could see the mark that his watch left on your chest and felt bad because it obviously caused you pain.

“Sorry for this...” he mumbled as his fingers reluctantly traced the mark.

You let out a breathy laugh, “It’s okay. I like it.” You admitted, reaching out to hold Bucky’s right arm.

“I like this too.” You said, letting a finger trace the prominent vein on his arm.

Sliding your finger upwards, you reached the sleeve of Bucky’s shirt and tug at it. “And this one as well.” You smirked.

Bucky nuzzled your nose with his, “I guessed what’s on your mind correctly, didn’t I?” He asked with a grin.

You’d almost forgotten about the little game from earlier. Truth to be told, you sort of forgot everything that took place before Bucky fucked your brains out.

“You didn’t just guess it, you actually showed it.” You said with a chuckle.

“Yeah well, it wasn’t that hard to figure out when you’ve been shamelessly eye-fucking me since I took off my jacket.” Bucky gloated teasingly.

You groaned in embarrassment, “That obvious, huh?”

“Yup and you know what? I think I’d like it too if I saw you wearing my shirt. Just my shirt.”

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes @iloveangstposts @weenersoldierr @asemistablehundredyearoldman @reidbuck @lizzarooni @girlfriday007 @5-seconds-of-mendes @whoth3hellisbucky @bonkywobble @lost-in-the-stars03

#bbbwrites #oneshots: bucky barnes #tfatws #tfatws spoilers #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes #bucky smut #bucky #sebastian stan

2K notes · View notes

sheepwasfound · 4 years ago

Text

dnf moments caught from within the chaos (every single one)

march 10th george alt stream

***

first video:

00:11:40-00:12:30 "is that george from dreamhunt?"

00:20:37-00:21:10 g:"me and dream argue about the stupidest things"

(many good sap/gogy sibling moments! and then...)

00:26:49 dream joins in secret and george tries to figure it out

00:27:26 dream gives himself away with a chuckle

00:27:55-00:29:00 "i was watching George's stream, i didn't even know you were streaming"

00:34:08-00:34:45 lil uk travel ban talk

00:36:46 g:"'late nights in the middle of june' this is true x2"

00:37:52-00:38:10 1.5 inches elephant still on george's desk

00:40:56-00:41:12 dream chuckling going "george is so salty"

00:49:04 dream hasn't paid george the $1,000 from geoguessr

00:49:50 dream tries to get george to play geoguessr

00:50:18-00:50:45 george tells dream about dreamhunt guy

00:53:37 d:"im on literally negative sleep"

00:55:57 g:"'tell dream you love him' no."

00:56:27-00:57:00 g:"'george you're the hottest piece of ass in dreamhunt' is that true dream?", d:"maybe it is" + "you're such an idiot"

00:57:14-00:57:54 dream tries to think of who in one direction each one of them are, can't choose for george

00:59:12 d:"he's like the most annoying person on the planet" (prob cus he can't focus on chess cus of gogy)

01:17:36 sapnap doesn't reply to george, dream replies immediately

01:19:26-01:19:40 + 01:21:56-01:22:50 talking about george exposing dream for the s*x tiktok

01:24:13 g:"ok i'm gonna go get water. dream, entertain my stream."

01:29:55-01:32:00 george and sapnap argue over servers, simp dream settles it w/ a "coin flip" (rigged)

01:33:40-01:34:50 sapnap waited for dream to wake up for burger day, s:"george wishes he coulda been a part of that"

01:36:12 d:"i was actually writing lyrics this morning"

01:40:37-01:42:12 stonks talk g:"what do i invest in?" d:"me"

(dreamnap moments interval here...)

01:50:14 s:"should i tweet out a picture of your girlfriend george?", d:"it's gonna be like a picture of my yt icon"

01:52:11-01:52:43 d:"'dnf arc'? yeah maybe", g:"is it a joke to you?"

01:52:57-01:53:11 sapnap and dream don't send george good morning texts & it upsets him

01:53:13-01:53:45 george didn't laugh at dream's joke, so dream calls him out for not paying attention

01:53:51 g:"'pretty privilege is real and you have it!' is this true dream?" d:"yeah. yeah"

01:54:13-01:54:55 sapnap accusing george of having a girlfriend, g:“dream, should we just tell them?”

01:59:30-01:59:50 g:“’can you say bleepbleep dream?’ no i can’t say that”, d:”just say it. george.”

02:02:00 g:“’is it true quackity and dream constantly fight for your love?’ it’s true”

02:02:10-02:03:00 d:”we were in our, like, linked arc. except for opposites …attract”

02:03:30 dream starts going through his texts with george

02:04:30 d:”my favorite number is…one second, i’m pulling up my george contact”

02:05:35-02:06:20 dream reads out their texts about waking up at the same time & having s*x

02:06:33-02:08:00 george’s “ayo muffin man” text to dream where he asked if he could make a joke about dream’s cheating drama, d:”you were being a good friend”

02:07:02 g:”we don’t text that much” d:”we text, like, everyday, but…”

02:08:36 first video ends

***

second video:

00:10:35 george shoots dnf on a wall, d:”you’re so dumb”, s:”what?”, d:”george”

00:14:30 g:”dream come baaaaackk”

00:16:22 dream in the bg laughing alone “this text is so funny! this text is amazing” (note: he started going through their texts, like, 20 mins ago)

00:17:25-00:17:58 george’s first text to dream: “hi loser”, sapnap asking about his first text, d:”that’s different”

00:20:38-00:21:00 s:”maybe if you were watching my stream instead of watching george’s all the time” + s:“maybe if you weren’t in your, like, dnf arc all the time”

00:22:40-00:23:15 g:“’george and dream’s brotherly relationship is so iconic’ brotherly?”, d:”someone in chat said ‘the alabama arc’”

00:26:05-00:26:30 pickle dick g:”dick-…dip his hands in the pickle jar”

00:27:05 d:”you’re an idiot george, you’re such a, you’re such a dick”

00:30:29-00:41:45 discussion about covid travel rules and george going to florida, george heatedly going through every possible trick to get there but dream being responsible about it

00:34:00 g:”dream, get me a private jet”

00:34:56 g:”i’ll just stay”, d:”for how long?”, g:”forever.”

00:36:13 gnf charity for private jet and then george will grapple down from a helicopter, d:”you’re such an idiot x2”

00:36:51 g:”i’m not actually joking” + g:”no it’s not impossible!” *checks cost of a private jet*

00:38:20 d:”you need to double it cus you have to go back” g:”i’m not going back. i’m not going back”

00:38:38 about deportation g:”dream, you can just protect me dream, just don’t let them take me away”

00:39:29 about deportation g:”then what if i never go back, what if i just never go back?”

00:40:01 g:”wait i have an idea dream. what if you just married me?” s:”you’re not allowed to marry someone to get them in the country”, g:”well that’s not the only reason”

00:41:13 g:”’sounds like dream doesn’t wanna meet you’ yeah he doesn’t”

00:43:43 g:”to be fair you are in your silly goose arc”, d:”i’m not in any goose arc” *mutual giggling*

00:44:45-00:45:25 discussion about obama escorting george on his private jet

00:47:38 dono:“you visiting dream is not a no, it’s a not yet”

00:50:21 g:”’just admit it, you’re madly in love with dream and you’re using this as an excuse to marry him’ no. this is false”, g:”i’m in my hating dream arc right now” d:”well, i mean … it’s about to be in a different arc though”

00:50:40 finishing each other’s sentences

00:50:50 s:”i wish karl was here.”, s:”at least i would have someone to be like, in love with, jesus”

00:51:29 d:”sapnap third wheel arc” s:”you guys may flirt and stuff, but me and you have physical s*x” d:”oh my goddd, what the hell?! that’s too far!”

00:54:43 sapnap teasing george about being able to cuddle dream, g:”i don’t care, i don’t care”

00:56:27 george teasing sapnap about having a gf again, s:”you have a dream”

00:56:43 g:”should i play geoguessr?” d:”oh, yes!”

00:57:07 d:”i’m exhausted and i’m laying in bed” (but he’s still staying)

(00:58:30 geoguessr starts, they’re tired and argue a lot)

01:00:48 arguing about colors g:”well you’re wrong” d:”maybe- actually maybe i think that’s- actually you’re right”

01:03:27 george was going to do geoguessr with wilbur today, but is too tired now

01:07:55 d:”if you had asked, i would’ve told you” g:”i didn’t wanna ask, i did it myself” *sassy*

01:13:55 george missed dream’s joke and he called him out for it again

01:17:00 g:”i’m not buying a maid dress” d:*silence*

01:20:10 g:“’dream we need your support to get george in a maid dress’ what do you think dream?”, d:*silence*

01:21:53 g:”you know what dream? i trust you”, d:”no, don’t trust me!”

01:22:50 dono:”when you asked dream if you should wear a maid dress, the silence was so loud” d:*silence*

01:23:23 after george makes a dumb voice d:”why are you reading like that?”, d:”i’m about to leave” (spoiler: he doesn’t leave, just stops looking for 30 secs)

01:24:10 g:”what do you mean you’re not even looking?”, g:”why, do you hate me?”, d:”you were being in your annoying arc”

01:34:28 dono:”do you have a song that makes you think of dream?”, d:”probably heat waves”, + george saying he doesn’t think of dream when listening to songs and dream not buying it

01:36:40 dream replying for him that george’s most listened to travis scott song is goosebumps (aka “their song”)

01:39:50 george confirms goosebumps is his most listened to travis scott song

01:42:26 d:”this is the last game im playing with you”, d:”cus i don’t wanna play with you anymore” (spoiler: it’s not the last one)

01:45:52 g:”alright one more”, d:”no i said i’d-…ok fine whatever one more” (spoiler: it’s not just one more)

01:48:46 dream mishears that george is gonna kiss him

01:54:24 g:”alright here’s the last game guys”, d:”you keep saying that, you keep…leading me on”

01:57:02 d:”that was the last one”, g:”no we said we were ending on a win” (no they didn’t) g:”you can’t leeeeeave, you can’t leave! it’s not allowed”

01:58:17 dono:”what is a place you’ve always wanted to go?”, g:”idk”, d:”america”

01:59:27 g:”i just, i was like…aaaaaghhhhlldududu you know?”, d:”yeah, i do know”

02:05:00 d:”alright, i’m gonna head out”, g:”wait, wait just wait”, g:”why are you in your like salty era?”, d:”why are you in your clingy era?”, d:”i think it would make sense if i left when i want to”, g:”alright, well, leave then, see what happens, you’re gonna regret it, that’s all i know”

02:05:30 dream leaves the call but then immediately starts watching george’s stream until he ends (who’s the one in their clingy era?)

02:06:10 george talks about going to bed (dream’s already in bed so they’re synced once again)

#dreamnotfound #dnf #there are so many amazing moments i saw no one talk about on here pls watch them #yeah i rewatched the whole thing...#now its my bedtime...#btw dream kept staying on call cus he wanted to go to sleep at the same time as george dont talk to me #sheepy #recap #gogy alt #sheepy recap #gogy alt 10.3

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woopboopboop · 4 years ago

Text

heaven is a place on earth; hell is too

a/n: i just like the idea behind the prompt so i thought i’d write it. and to @harrysgloves, thank you for the encouragement sent early this year! happy reading everyone! :)

content warnings: strong language, graphic depictions of violence, mentions of drug.

[usually, in the story, the gang leader will kidnap a person, right? this time, it’s the other way around]

“Are you a demon?”

She stops twirling the handcuffs in her hand and put it on the wooden drawer next to the bedroom doorway. For a beat, she doesn’t quiet know what to say because it is not the common “where am I?” or “who are you?” or even him trying to escape. But, only for a beat. Then, she straightens from where she is leaning at the door.

When he asks the next question, she pretends to not hear and calls for Ezra. If it is not for the real intention behind this, she probably would entertain his question and tell him if there is any angel in the room, if she is one, it would be an incarnation of Lucifer.

The younger boy comes as quick as she calls him and stands beside her at the doorway, waiting for whatever she has to say.

“He’s still in the cloud,” she says, eyes still assessing Harry who is lying on his back on the bed before turning her attention to the raven haired boy next to her. “How many did you use?”

“Just like you wrote in the note,” Ezra answers.

She hums and returns to look at Harry who is now looking at his hands, inspecting for who knows what and mumbling something. Well, she did want the drug to make him forget a little bit. But not to the point where he is delirious. In this condition, there is no way he can give her what she is looking for.

“Are you sure?” Her eyes return to Ezra’s confused ones. There must be something wrong somewhere. He did what she told him to. Maybe not in a way she had instructed it. “You do know there’s a point before the number five, right?”

When she said that the confusion in his eyes shifts to realisation and it dawns on him. That would explain it. He did not forget, obviously. He misread it. He should’ve given Harry a half of the vial, not the whole thing.

She let out a sigh, thinking how there is no undoing this now. She can only hope the effect of the drug will wear off soon. Besides her, Ezra looks like he is trying to say something but the words don’t come out. He gives up then, head drooping slightly, the tips of his ears are red.

“It’s okay, Ezra.” She gives him a small smile, trying to ease his silent guilt as he knows this plan is important to her. The smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes but he doesn’t want to say anything, afraid that it will make the situation worst. Instead, he says his apology before leaving quietly and quickly after she dismisses him.

“Am I… on a boat?” Harry slurs.

At first, she answers him by shaking her head, hand grabbing the abandoned cuffs on the drawer while she strides over to him. The colour is muted in the room and she figures he can’t see much but the faint cold blue of the evening that is falling like a dusky curtain of the room. So when she stops a reasonable distance away from him, she answers him curtly, “No. Not anymore.”

The sight is a great pity. It is almost like seeing someone on the edge of falling off the pedestal. Who would’ve thought that there will be time when she can see a person who is deemed organised and calculated, feared in the underworld, be so weak. Unguarded. His once pressed, white dress shirt stained with dirt and blood.

Seeing how vulnerable he is in that moment; she can just end him then and there. That was the job after all. And she did pull the trigger that had sent brain pieces to fly everywhere before Harry landed face down on the flour sacks stacked on the boat with a thud, leaving white powder dancing in the air. Not really a way to go for a notorious gang leader if you ask her but the woman and the two men on the other side of the canal seemed content which made it another job well done.

Except that the brain blown was not Harry’s. And as far as the world, especially the Abramo who had delivered their order to end Harry’s life and insisted on witnessing it, is concerned, he is a dead man.

“Am I in hell?” His voice snaps her from her trance. She thought he slips out of his consciousness again when he went silence seconds ago.

This sod. She tilts her head, looking at him and shrugs. “Depends.”

There is something in his eyes and she knows he is trying to make sense of it all because she feels his resistance when she tugs his wrist closer to the bed post above his head. A part of him resurfacing, despising to be in such position. But his brain might still be too hazy to think through so he just let her cuffs him without much struggle.

“Oh! Kinky,” he teases, neck straining to look where his cuffed wrist is at which makes her scoffs. He then looks at her like he is taking note of her face, eyes narrowed.

Maybe he is remembering how she looks like so it’s easy for him to instruct his men to hunt her down once he gets out of there. If he is able to walk out there alive that is.

If he wants to.

If she lets him.

Because, even though as organised and calculated of a man Harry is, this time, she has the few steps ahead.

///

“Now, really,” Harry starts. Sitting up becomes more of a task when one of his hands is cuffed and his brain feels like it is rattling against his skull with every move he makes. “If you wanted to see me so badly, we could have just meet up.”

When he woke up minutes ago, he thought he was in his bed until his senses kicked in and it hurt almost as his throbbing head. Since then, he has been trying to get out of the restrain that tied him to the bed post on top his head and figures out what is happening, where is he. Out the window, it is pitch-black.

He probably is in hell; his brain had decided to land him there.

In retrospect, it is as surprising as it is expected. To be in hell, that is. After all of the deals making, bloods spilling, life taking, fists colliding, he knows there is a place for him here. Only that he expects that it would be overwhelmingly hot and full of screaming human, or what’s left of them. Where he is now is opposite of that. The cold nips his skin and the silence is unnerving. Maybe hell is not all fire and brimstones.

“I tried,” the woman says. Her voice is smooth.

That smooth voice is a good sign. It shows that this person is still able to tolerate whatever deal that he can make out of this. But it is not necessarily safe.

“You are a busy man.”

In between the lack of conversation, he tries to place her somewhere and everywhere but he has never seen her before. Moving up to find a more comfortable position, the movement has caused a dull throb behind his head that makes him wince. Somehow, it also unlocks a sound of gunshot and his gaze flicks to her. At the foot of the bed, she is unfazed.

“You shot me.” His voice rumbles lowly; somewhere between amusement and danger.

“That what was asked for.” It is stated oh-so-matter-of-factly and he accepts it.

He is in no place to make a fuss about it since enemies, like friends or business partners, are made along the way. If anything, he is a little bit bewildered at the attempt of keeping him alive and he doesn’t like not knowing what brought him here. Well, aside from someone ordering this woman here to kill him, but he is not dead though, which makes the motive behind whatever this is, is more questionable.

“Am I dead? I am in hell?”

The questions are supposed to be echoed in his brain but his slightly hazy state betrays him which caused the words to left his mouth unfiltered. The words then hang in the air and it makes him internally cringe. Her unamused face certainly doesn’t help with the situation. “What?”

“I never really thought people like you believe in afterlife.” To be fair, he never really thought about it himself. He is too busy living his life here. Not the one after. “And that is the second time you ask me that question,” she continues.

“So, I am alive.” He swears his mouth is really trying to destroy all the reputation he has been building all these years of being a gang leader. Fearless, self-assured and all that but he conceals the uncertainty in his voice with a smirk. “Why? They didn’t pay you enough for you to complete your job? Maybe you are afraid my men would take revenge on my death?”

She raises one eyebrow, shifting her weight from one leg to the other and he takes that as a sign to probe further, “Sentiment, perhaps?”

“They paid enough. A vendetta is the least of my concern. And no, it’s not sentiment.” With every answer to his question, she takes a step closer until she stops at his side.

“Then you’re holding me for ransom? It would be a huge amount of money, although, I don’t think my accountant would be so happy with that much money flowing out –”

“I have more important purpose for you than death or money.”

If it’s not him or his money, so it might be for her own benefit. The thing about Harry or he would like to think so in this way about himself is that his concern when it comes to being in a situation or making a deal is he will be leaning unto anything that benefits him the most. He tolerates as long as he is presented with a mutually beneficial outcome. In this situation, it is no difference. She wants something from him and he wants her to let him go.

“Interesting.” A smirk on his lips is now blooming into a full smile as he tilts his head. “Maybe you can uncuff me first and then we can carry on with our business?”

If she hears him, she is purposely ignoring his question and diverts her attention to reaching whatever it is in her trouser pocket. When she pulls something out of it, she holds a picture of a man at an arm length. Its creased lines showed that it has been folded and unfolded multiple times.

He is about to take it from her hand to inspect something scribbled at the corner of the picture but she retreats her arm half way, still holding it between her thumb and forefinger. “Do you know him?”

“You know, we could’ve discussed about this over a meet up or dinner. The cuff is really unnessa –”

“Just answer me.”

If she has been quiet this whole time, passive, this is the first time he sees her reacting. The smoothness in her voice now has an edge to it, her eyes are hard and piercing; a presage of storm. He presses his lips together and answers with a nod.

“I need you to talk to him,” she says. The picture is folded and put in her pocket again.

He cocks one eyebrow towards her. “Why don’t you do it yourself?”

“I know only you can reach him.”

That is true, to a certain extent. The last question he has now is that will doing what she wants him to do benefits him too, so he asks in the way that he usually does. “What if I won’t?”

Like a fired bullet, her fist catches tight in the front of his clothes and then her hand finds his throat, knocking his head hard against the headboard. He juts his chin up almost defiantly and grabs her wrist with his free hand.

He pushes her wrist away but it is a futile effort as he can feel how her fingers reach near the particular throbbing part at the nape of his neck, digging in.

“Fir – first the cuff. Now, you are tr – trying to choke me? Take me, fuck, take me on a dinner first, at least.” He grins despite his choked words and his ragged breath.

“You fucker,” she spats, eyes darken, “this is all a game for you, isn’t it?”

The storm he predicts reaches him and he is trapped in it as she pushes him impossibly further into the headboard, her fingers tightening around his neck while his loosens up around her wrist. He is whirling little by little, the full smile reduced to a tug at the corner of his lips.

“The Abramo was right when they come to us, to me, to launch their vendetta. You are a cocky piece of shit and the only place you deserve to be at is at the bottom of the cold, murky canal with a big gap behind your head!”

“Do you regret… no – not killing me?” He chuckles but it sounds strangled.

“You are making it really easy right now,” she snarls.

Maybe it is the restriction of breath or the warmth of her breath fanning out over his face against the coldness of the room but there is a glint in her eyes. He had been in near-death’s hold before but this feels like he is being thrusted into one without warning as he witnesses a sinister gleam in her face. She has been waiting for this moment. However, before she can end it or start it, she let go of him and strengthens herself up.

“Although,” she sighs, backing away. “I believe your mum and sister won’t find it that easy.”

It takes him minutes to be able to focus on her again, blinking and gasping a little. Her eyes are still boring into him. In between relief and dismal and the ringing in his ears, he notices her settling into the unfazed demeanour she was in before until –

“Dotty and Dusty will probably going to miss you too when you’re gone.”

His stills.

Nobody. Nobody knows about the cats.

Rivals targeting his family is a part of his work hazard and he always makes sure they are under his protection. It is such trivial matter. It is only cats’ names. But to know it specifically holds a certain power against him because it either means that she had been in his house before or it means that she has been in close proximity with either his mum or his sister to know about that much information.

And at that moment, whatever security he puts his family under, it is not safe anymore. His stomach bottoms out and she is delighted to see him in that way to say the least.

“What do you want?” He grits his teeth, moving forward to fight and the cuff clinks against the headboard because of the sudden jerk.

“There’s only one thing that I want.” Her voice is smooth. She is back at the feet of the bed again, now, with a faint smile on her lips. “But I need you to be able to hold up a proper conversation first before we continue with the business.”

It is not much of a mock or provocation but he still feels a squeezing of terror and of anger. His jaw clenches. “I am talking to you now, don’t I?”

She is already walking towards the door, leaving him struggling to stand up behind her. The bed legs scrap against the wooden floor as he pulls the bed along with him when he tries to grab her arm or shoulder or hair but she is already far away from his reach.

“Not enough,” she says while sparing him a look over the shoulder.

When he realises he is not going to go anywhere, not when he is still restrained to the bed, especially, not when the wood under his feet begins to warp, he fell back on the bed, eyes squeezed tight to block the sharp pain of his head. Defeated.

“Get a good rest. I need you fresh first thing in the morning,” she says before the door shuts.

Wherever he is, be it in the real world or the after, this is hell.

#writings #gangleader!harry #gang!harry #gang!au #Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #one direction #one direction imagines #one direction preferences #one direction imagine #one direction preference #mafia!au #mafia!harry #gangleader!h

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thatfanficstuff · 4 years ago

Text

Summer Wedding - Stucky

Grouping - Stucky x Reader

Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. smut including unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), public teasing, oral sex (m receiving), spit roasting, minor knife play and other stuff I'm sure I forgot.

A/N: This is the first fic I'm posting for my summer celebration and it was actually written for boxofbonesfic's Hot Girl Summer Challenge. Not as um...descriptive as I'd intended on making it but I like it. Enjoy.

Word count: 3544

***

The wedding was beautiful, even you had to admit that. It was a relatively simple affair as these things went, though you were certain your uncle had spent several thousands on the flowers that seemed to dot every surface of the grounds of his estate. At least he’d kept your cousin from having a large church wedding this time. There was only so many times that was acceptable anyway, right?

A sigh slid from your lips and you sipped at your drink. You never should have come to this wedding. You weren’t in the mood for it. No, you should have made up an excuse about being sick and stayed home. The only reason you hadn’t was the fact you had no desire to listen to your mother bitch at you for the next six months for missing a family event. Just the thought had you rolling your eyes.

You’d actually been looking forward to the wedding until last week. That’s when you discovered your boyfriends were going on a mission and would not be back in time to accompany you. Not only did you hate going to weddings alone, but you’d already gone through the ordeal of explaining to your aunt why you need a plus two instead of a plus one. And she certainly hadn’t kept that information to herself. Half the damn day had been spent answering questions about your relationship from nosy family members.

Speaking of…Your cousin Natalie sat down in one of the empty chairs that flanked you. She smirked and sipped at her champagne. “So, where are your dates, Y/N?”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes again. Too much more of that and you’d have a raging migraine. Instead, you kept your gaze on the dance floor and took another sip of your drink. “They had to work.”

“I just find it interesting that you all but beg mother for an extra seat and here they both are. Empty.” She eyed you, waiting for a reaction you had no intention of giving her. “I mean, why lie? It’s kind of pathetic.”

You finally turned your head to her. “Shouldn’t you be doing something wedding-ish? You are the maid of honor, aren’t you? Oh, that’s right, you aren’t in the wedding party, are you?” You sucked a breath through your teeth in mock sympathy. “Sorry.”

There was certain to be a reason why Natalie wasn’t part of her only sisters third wedding, but you didn’t care beyond the fact it was sure to be a sore spot. Frankly, Natalie had always been a bitch, even when you were children. Though, unlucky in the marriage department, her sister Sally had always been your preferred cousin. Maybe Sally had finally gotten tired of dealing with her sister’s shit.

Natalie narrowed her eyes and leaned toward you. “I don’t believe you could get one man to put up with you, let alone two. No one does. We actually had a pool going over whether either of them would show up. And if they did, whether they’d leave with you since you’d probably paid them to be here. I mean, most people just make up one boyfriend. Two really takes the cake. You never could stand not being the center of attention.”

The irony wasn’t lost you that most of your family had no idea you worked with the Avengers. Nor had you mentioned the names of those two boyfriends of yours. Real attention seeker you were. You chanced a glance at your phone to check the time. You had at least another hour before you could leave without a lecture from your mother. You also had zero messages from your boys. Hopefully, that meant they were taking care of business and would be home soon.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” your cousin started whisper yelling from beside you as she froze in her chair. Her eyes were wide and slightly crazed.

Your brow furrowed. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Even as you waited for an answer, your trained ear picked up murmurs beginning amongst the other guests.

When you went to look over your shoulder, Natalie gripped your hand. “Don’t turn around,” she said through clenched teeth. When you went to do it anyway, she snapped again. “Don’t. They’ll see you staring.”

“Who?” Your tone was clipped as irritation crawled through you.

“Steve Rogers and James Barnes just walked in,” she hissed, her gaze locked on them. So apparently she was allowed to stare but you weren’t. By this point, everyone else would be staring as well. The boys were used to it.

You snatched your hand away from your cousin and spun in your seat. As soon as you saw them, a smile covered your face. They had been so certain they wouldn’t be back in time. You knew they’d pushed themselves to be here for you. You ran your gaze over them, taking in the rare sight of them in suits. Even though you’d helped them pick them out, you still licked your lips at the sight.

Steve wore a beautiful bright blue suit that you knew brought out his eyes even though they were currently hidden behind sunglasses. Buck’s suit looked light blue but it was actually a thin blue pin stripe. Both of them looked incredible as always, but you always got a little thrill seeing them dressed up. Of course, that feeling was mutual.

They hadn’t seen you yet, but they were scanning the crowd as they moved across the vast grounds of your uncle’s estate. When your uncle moved to greet them, you stood as well.

Natalie grabbed at your arm. “What are you doing? You’re going to embarrass me.”

Yeah, she didn’t need any help with that. You shook her off and started toward your men. Both of them immediately locked onto your presence and wide smiles greeted you. Your uncle got to them before you could. Steve shifted his attention to speak with him, but Buck’s attention was 100% on you. His gaze trailed over you from head to toe and his eyes darkened.

“We’re extremely honored that you’re here. How did you hear about the wedding?” you heard your uncle ask. He was one of the politer members of your family.

“They’re with me, Uncle Frank,” you said as soon as you were close enough to be heard without raising your voice. “Sorry they’re late. They were working.”

Frank turned to you, his mouth slightly agape and his brows lifted. “These are the dates Margie wouldn’t stop going on about?” Margie was his wife and the aunt you had to beg for the extra seat.

You hummed in agreement.

“Well, I certainly hope so or this is going to turn awkward in a moment,” Bucky said with a lopsided grin. He opened his arms in invitation and you stepped into them. “Missed you, doll.”

You nuzzled against his chest briefly, careful not to transfer your makeup to his shirt. “I missed you, too. So much. I’m glad you’re home.”

There was a tug on your arm and you were pulled into Steve’s embrace. He pressed a kiss to your temple. “Hey, baby.”

“Hey, soldier.” You turned to look at your uncle who was still staring in stunned silence. “Steve, Bucky, this is my Uncle Frank. Father of the bride.”

Both of your boys shook his hand and thanked him for allowing them to come. He hurried back to his table, undoubtedly to announce this strange turn of events. You fell into step with your boyfriends, taking their hands in yours while you walked in the middle. You led them over to your table to find Natalie still in Bucky’s seat.

“Natalie,” you said to get her attention. When she continued to gape at the two men you said her name again.

She smiled at you as if you were her favorite person in the world certain there was an introduction in her future. “Yes, cousin?”

“You’re in his seat.”

She blinked at you for a second before her face twisted in anger. She scrambled from the chair and stormed back to her table with a toss of her head. Steve and Buck chuckled as they took their seats on either side of you. They slid their chairs as close to you as they could get. “Are you two hungry? We already had dinner but I could find you something.”

Bucky squeezed your thigh. “We ate. Don’t worry about us, sweetheart.”

“I’m glad you two made it,” your mother’s voice caught your attention and you turned to find her standing next to Steve. He stood to greet her and you leaned against Bucky, knowing he wouldn’t care to do the same. “If I had to listen to one more person say she made you up I was going to scream,” she admitted as she hugged Steve. That earned another low chuckle from Bucky.

“Mrs. Y/L/N, it’s good to see you again,” Steve said, managing to sound sincere. Not that he disliked your mother, but they’d just returned from a mission. All they wanted to do was stay home for a couple of days and destress. But they’d come here for you and they would be on their best behavior.

“We won’t be staying long, mom. They just got home,” you informed her and braced yourself for an argument.

Instead, she nodded. “Of course, sweetheart. Just make sure to introduce them to Sally before you leave.”

You groaned. “Can’t I just do it at her next wedding?”

“Y/N!” she snapped but you caught the twitch at the corner of her lips.

Bucky snorted a laugh beside you while Steve shot you a chastising look. You smiled. “I will, momma.”

She left and Bucky turned to speak in your ear as Steve sat back down. “We don’t have to leave, baby girl.” The nickname shot a thrill up your spine. “I love weddings. The food. The dancing. The clothes. Like this little number you have on. I really love this dress, doll.” You wore a white sundress with tiny blue flowers on it to match their suits that fell a few inches above your knees. It was the first time either of them had seen it.

Steve’s arm settled across the back of your chair and his fingers played with your hair. “Yeah, that dress is something special. It might be a bit too short, though,” he said without glancing at you. Instead, he seemed to be keeping an eye on the crowd around you.

“It’s not too short.” You loved the dress and thought it was perfect.

“Yeah, Stevie. If anything, it’s not short enough.” Bucky’s fingers dragged your dress up your thigh, bunching it up in his hand as he went.

“What are you doing, Barnes?” you hissed.

“I told you I missed you, doll. I want to show you how much.”

You placed a hand on his, stopping his movement. “You can’t be serious.”

“Of course, we are. We talked about it all the way home,” Steve answered. He lowered his mouth to speak in your ear. “Talked about how we wanted to please you in front of everyone. With everyone watching because you know their eyes are glued to our table trying to figure out how we managed to land a beautiful gal like you.”

You snorted a laugh that cut off in a gasp as Bucky pulled your dress further up your thigh. “I don’t think that’s what they’re thinking, Steve.”

Bucky kissed the patch of skin behind your ear. “How come he gets Steve and I got Barnes?”

“He’s not the one actively trying to feel me up at my cousin’s wedding.” Your eyes slipped closed as his fingers brushed your inner thigh. Sweat beaded your skin and you wondered if you could blame it on the heat even though it was ten degrees cooler than it had been earlier.

“But it was all his idea,” Buck whispered.

Your eyes flew open to shoot a glare at the blond’s head. “Steven Grant Rogers, What would your mother say?”

Buck laughed, drawing the attention of some of the few people that weren’t already staring. “She’d probably say, ‘good going, Stevie’. She would have loved you.”

“Would—” All ability to finish your sentence or to have a rational thought fled from you when he pushed your panties aside and ran his fingers through your folds. Fuck.

“She’s already soaking wet for us, Steve. Such a good girl,” Bucky cooed.

Steve’s hand fisted on the back of your chair as he glanced around again. “I was wrong. I don’t have the patience for this. I need to be buried in her.” He slid his sunglasses off and put them in the inside pocket of his jacket. He turned to face you, blue eyes burning into you. “You have exactly two minutes to find us someplace private or we’re going to finger fuck you right here until you scream. Your choice, princess.”

In less than a minute, you’d sent a text on your phone and jumped to your feet. Taking their hands in yours, you dragged them toward the house. You pulled them through the large home until you reached a familiar door on the main level. Opening it, you shoved the super soldiers inside. You locked the door behind you and turned to find them already loosening their ties.

“We don’t have time for that,” you argued with a wave of your hands. “I told Uncle Frank we were borrowing his office for an important phone call. We have twenty minutes tops.”

Bucky groaned. “I wanted to take my time with you. I missed you,” he nearly whined.

The corner of your mouth kicked up. “We can take all the time you want later, baby. Right now, just fuck me.” That had him groaning again, an entirely different sound this time.

Steve, however, wasn’t wasting any time. He grabbed a cushion from the couch and tossed it on the floor. “All fours, princess.” He was already undoing his belt by the time you dropped to your knees. He moved behind you and pushed your dress up to give himself a clear view of your ass. He ran his hand over it before giving you a light swat. The mild sting was still enough to have you shifting.

“These have got to go,” he said tugging on the side of your panties. “Buck?”

You glanced up to see Bucky grin as he pulled out a knife and handed it to Steve. He traced your spine with the back of the blade causing you to hiss and arch your back. The sensation only doubled when he moved from cloth to bare skin. The cold steel on your flesh sent tremors through you but you weren’t scared. Far from it. “I think she likes that, Stevie,” Bucky said, a teasing lilt in his voice. “We’ll have to remember that.”

Steve merely hummed before slicing through both sides of your panties and pulling them off as he handed the knife back to his friend. His hand immediately cupped you and his fingers dipped into your soaking wet folds. “Christ, Y/N. I hope you’re ready for me, baby.”

The head of his cock nudged your entrance as if asking for permission but that only lasted a moment. A second later, Steve surged forward filling you with his length. You moaned at the familiar sensation and clawed at the carpet. He paused, giving you time to adjust then he was thrusting into you in long, slow strokes. “Don’t tease,” you ordered.

Steve laughed and increased his speed. When you groaned, Bucky was there rubbing the tip of his cock across your lips. You opened your mouth and sucked at him greedily, needing to taste him while Steve railed you from behind. Only when you had both of them inside of you did you feel complete. Whole. Whatever the fuck was wrong with you, you hoped there was no cure. You would gladly die like this.

The feeling of both of them moving in and out had a perfectly sinful, wanton moan coming from you. The vibration ran along the length of Bucky’s cock and he grunted. His fingers tightened their hold in your hair and his speed increased. Steve mirrored his pace and it didn’t take long for the office to fill with lurid grunts and the sweaty, sweet smell of sex.

Soon, you were so lost in sensation you became little more than a vessel for them to use as you climbed to your peak. Their rhythm stuttered and you knew they were close. You clenched your walls around Steve and were rewarded with a hiss and his grip on your hips tightening. At the same time, you sucked harder on Bucky and ran your tongue along the underside of his cock. “Fuck,” he bit out. “I’m close. Cum, baby girl. Come on.”

Steve’s fingers found your clit. Two seconds later you were screaming around the cock in your mouth as your cunt clutched greedily at the one in your pussy. Fuck. Bucky came next, his load shooting into your mouth and down your throat. As you swallowed his offering, Steve filled you with his cum. You felt it leak around him and drip to the floor.

They pulled out of you at the same time and you collapsed to your side. “Holy shit,” you said between pants causing your boys to laugh.

“Holy shit’s right. Damn,” Bucky agreed. Your eyes followed his movements as he tucked himself back into his pants and put himself to rights. Before you could turn to Steve, you felt fabric between your legs cleaning you up.

A glance showed him wiping away his cum with the remnants of your panties. He gave you a wicked grin. “Can’t have you leaking all over your cousin’s wedding, now can we?”

Your face heated as you thought about all the times they’d made you walk around with their cum leaking out of you. Apparently, that wasn’t appropriate for a wedding but was fine everywhere else. Steve stood and pulled his pants up before doing up his belt. He held out a hand to you. “Let’s get you fixed up, sweetheart.”

They’d barely done anything and looked like they had when you walked into the room. You, on the other hand, probably looked like you’d gone a couple of rounds with a rabid raccoon. Stupid men. Steve made sure your dress was laying correctly so everything was covered while Bucky did the same thing behind you. They both fiddled with your hair for a moment before declaring you gorgeous.

You narrowed your gaze at them, not buying it for a moment. The three of you quickly put the office to rights. There was nothing you could do about the smell of sex in the air but hopefully it would dissipate before your uncle needed to use it.

“Seriously, baby girl. You look fantastic,” Buck insisted when he noticed you fidgeting.

“Yeah, but you guys like it when I look freshly fucked,” you said as you opened the door. There was a mirror in the hallway you used to check your appearance. You actually didn’t look that bad, but you definitely looked a little wild. You shrugged. Honestly, you didn’t care. “All right, we’re saying hello to the bride, then we’re leaving.”

“No argument here.” Steve took your hand in his and Buck did the same thing on the other side.

When the three of you made it outside, you headed straight for the head table. “Sally, this is Steve and Bucky. Boys, this is my cousin Sally and her new husband Ben.”

“Lovely to meet you,” Steve greeted with a smile. Sally launched herself at him and wrapped him in a hug.

“I can’t believe you came to my wedding,” she squealed before letting go of him to hug Bucky. His eyes begged you to help him but you just smiled. Sally was a bit flighty but she was good people.

She hugged you last. “You should have told me, Y/N. I would have sat you closer to the front.”

“It’s okay, Sally. We have to go. Congratulations,” you said then let her go. When you did, you found that most of the family had come to get introductions or say their farewells. Nicole tried to go in for a hug, but Steve subtly made sure it was nothing more than a handshake. The fact you didn’t introduce her was enough to tell them she wasn’t the kind of person they wanted to know.

When she tried to hug Bucky, you intercepted and hugged her instead. “It was good seeing you, Nicole.”

“You have some explaining to do,” she said in a low voice as she hugged you tighter than necessary. When she released you, she continued to stand by you.

You watched Bucky and Steve say goodbye to your mother and uncle before they turned to you. You held up a finger to tell them you’d be right with them and leaned sideways to get closer to your cousin. “So, just out of curiosity, did anyone in the pool have them fucking me during the reception?”

#stucky x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky fanfiction #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #here be lemons #knife play #hot girl summer challenge #marvel fanfic

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oneshot-wxnderland · 4 years ago

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Lab Partners With Benefits Pt. 2 | Percy Jackson

Summary: A week has gone by and Y/n hasn’t stopped thinking about her encounter with Percy. Now it’s time for her lab and she can’t tell if she’s yearning or dreading seeing him again.

Category: smut

Part 1 | Part 3

__________________

One week later and you walked into your lab again. This time however, your table was empty. Disappointment curbed your mix of nerves, excitement, and dread at seeing Percy again as you sat down.

Good, you thought. Gives me a chance to calm the hell down and stop acting so childish.

But as the minutes ticked down to the start of class and Percy had yet to make an appearance, your eyebrows creased in thought.

Where was he? Was it normal for him to roll in at the last second?

Before last week you hadn’t paid any attention to him, but since last week he had rarely left your mind. Shamefully, you admit it. Those few hours with Percy had played on repeat since they ended. And not even just when he was kissing you, although that part was frequently visited. No, you were hung up on the most mundane things about him, like how he ran his hand through his hair whenever he got stuck on a question. Or the way he always had a beat going in his fingers or legs. Or the way actually opened a door for you. Do people even still do that?

Mack started the class with a greeting and you snapped out of your head.

Percy still wasn’t here.

Is he avoiding me? No, he’s just a college student that’s running late or skipping class. Well, he better not be skipping class because you have a tough assignment to do today. Speaking of which, you forced yourself to listen to your TA explain it.

“What did I miss?” A familiar voice whispered in your ear and you jumped, whipping your head to see Percy in the seat next to you, failing to suppress a grin.

Your frazzled nerves made you want to respond with a few choice words, but the mischievous gleam in his green eyes made it hard to stay mad at him.

“Where were you?” you asked him, passing over his copy of the work.

“I had to take care of something.”

The cryptic answer gave you cause to look over him as he turned his attention to the front of the room. His hair was messy, his cheeks slightly flushed, and you couldn’t be sure since he caught you staring, but you think you saw a cut in his shirt. It looked like he was just in a fight.

“Is your shirt cut?” you asked and reached out to inspect it, fingers meeting his side through the hole and making him jump. Percy took your wrist and brought it back up to the table.

“Hey, wait till after class,” he slyly reprimanded you, drawing a scoff out of you. Which drew the attention of the people sitting closest to you, so you both lowered your voices further.

“Seriously though,” you nodded your head to his side. “How’d that happen?”

“I snagged it,” he started. “On a tree.”

“Right.”

You were about to ask him what he did to make the tree mad when the feeling of something on your hand drew your attention. He was absentmindedly rubbing circles on your skin with his thumb, and it wasn’t until then that you realized he was still holding your hand. This made him also notice that you were holding hands and you awkwardly pulled away first. An uncomfortable silence fell over you both that lasted the rest of the lab.

It was weird how natural it felt to hold his hand and to talk with him like that. You had barely spoken since you met and while you had been moderately physically intimate with him before, you hadn’t been this kind of intimate. This whole relationship with Percy is unlike one you’ve never experienced before. You’re not quite strangers, not quite friends, not quite together. The massive grey area surrounding Percy made red flags pop up in your head. And yet, when he casually invited you back to his place once the lab had ended, your mouth accepted before your mind could stop you.

This time you actually made it into the living room before you started making out. Even going so far as to make a show of setting up your lab books on the coffee table as if you were actually going to get work done before you couldn’t take it anymore and pulled him to you by his collar.

This time, you set a slower pace than your frenzied kisses against the door, allowing you to savor every move he made. Percy relinquished control of the kiss to you and tugged on your thigh until you were straddling his lap. His hands pressed flat against your lower back until your chest was flush with his and tilted his chin up to catch your lips again.

You felt him shiver when your fingertips met the back of his neck, tugging on the hair there. As a result you felt Percy smirk against your lips and in a deep voice that made heat flare up through your core he told you, “Hold on.”

Percy paused in kissing you and his warning made your eyebrows crease in confusion until you felt his hands hook under your thighs and he shifted his weight until he was slightly standing. Then he twisted and laid you down on the couch and had his mouth back on yours before you could process what had happened.

In the new position, Percy took control of the kiss and sped it up a little, but still took his time tugging your bottom lip between his teeth. His thumbs made little circles on your thighs from where he was still gripping them and it brought you back to earlier in the day. In response your own hands moved down his back and to his sides where your finger found the hole in his shirt again.

“It was a tree,” he said against your lips.

“Sure it was,” you replied.

At that Percy pushed up into a kneeling position with your legs still on either side of his hips and you worried for a second that he was actually bugged by your insistence with the hole-thing. Until he pulled his shirt off and your mind short circuited. He balled it up and tossed it across the room with a final, “There. Outta sight, outta mind.”

Your jaw was still partially dropped from the revelation of his surprisingly toned abdomen and you gave a distracted “Uh-huh” before you all but yanked him back down to you, surprising him with your strength and the newfound urgency in your kiss. He matched the new tempo and your legs hooked around his waist, causing him to groan and rock his hips down into yours.

Percy savored the gasp you let out and ground into you again. One of his hands hitched your thigh up higher and the other traveled up your hip and under your shirt to grip your side. He allowed you to catch your breath as he leaned up to your ear.

“What do you want, princess?” His husky voice blew any and all recollection of red flags and warnings straight out of your mind, in fact everything was emptied from your head except for thoughts pertaining to how good he felt pressed against you and how much more of him you needed.

“You. All of you.”

Percy could’ve died a happy man right then and there.

He ducked back down to your mouth, recapturing it with his own and picking up where he left off. This time he felt the heat of the mutual understanding of where the situation was headed and braced his hand above your head on the couch armrest. However, that action did bring up the first smart thought he’d had since he sat next to you earlier.

“Wait.” He pulled back and eyed your lips, which were red from his kisses.

“What’s wrong?” You asked and brushed a chunk of hair away from his eyes.

“If I get to have you, we’re not doing it on the couch my roommate got off Craigslist.”

You threw your head back laughing and Percy could only stare and smile dumbly, feeling something new he hadn’t felt in a long time.

But then he remembered what was to come and hooked his hands underneath your thighs again to lift you up.

Percy was conflicted. On the one hand he wanted to get to his bedroom as quickly as possible. But on the other he loved the way your arms were wrapped tight around him and how you had occupied yourself with placing kisses along his neck. So he decided to take a detour through the kitchen to grab some granola bars.

“Are you kidding me?”

“We might be hungry later!” He defended himself and felt you drop your forehead to his shoulder.

“Just walk.”

Fortunately the granola-detour didn’t completely kill the mood and Percy kicked his door shut and somehow stumbled to the bed while completely lost in your kiss. His plan was to drop you onto the covers and then take off his jeans, but you had other plans and refused to let go of him so he fell on top of you. The bouncing from the fall made your shirt ride up and Percy took the opportunity to run his hands up the exposed skin, stopping just as his fingertips were in reach of the underside of your bra.

You broke the kiss for a moment to grant his unspoken request and pulled your shirt off, but when you laid back down his lips didn’t return to yours. Instead his mouth dragged down your neck, conscious of the marks he would leave. When he reached your collar bone, your hands buried themselves in his hair as his hands squeezed your bra and placed hot kisses on the skin that spilled over the top.

“Percy,” you moaned as your back arched up into his touch. “Percy, please.”

“Please what?” He looked up at you.

“Please, touch me.”

“I am touching you.” He responded and proved his point with another tight squeeze to your chest.

“You know what I mean,” you huffed, knowing you were playing right into his teasing by getting riled up but dammit, you needed him badly.

He tilted his head innocently. “Do I?”

Even though he was looking up at you with those big green eyes, you could tell by the way his thigh pressed between your legs that he knew exactly what you meant. As hot as his teasing was, you had spent all week thinking about him and you just couldn’t wait any longer, so you pulled him up to you by his hair and tried to speak as evenly and clearly as you could.

“Percy Jackson if you do not quit teasing me I will-.” Your gasp cut you off when his hand slipped beneath your pants and pressed against your core.

“Oh, you meant here?” The cocky bastard punctuated his words with a pinch to your clit. “Is this what you wanted?”

Percy committed the speechless look on your face to memory as you glared back up at him.

“I hate you.” you ground out when the initial shock of his touch faded. You hated his infuriating smirk. You hated his disheveled dark hair. You hated how his hands left you to pull down your pants at an achingly slow pace. And you especially hated how he somehow knew exactly how to touch you.

“Is that so? Then you’re gonna really hate this.”

His warning barely registered with you before two fingers plunged into you. Percy cherished the way you cried out and clenched around his fingers, imagining how it would feel around his dick later on.

The achingly slow pace he set as his digits pumped in and out of you turned you to puddy in his hands, eyes screwed shut so that you didn’t notice Percy lean down until you felt his breath against your ear.

“You like that? You want more?” he asked, but grew unsatisfied by your lack of response. The hand that wasn’t currently brushing your g-spot with every curl came up to your jaw and turned your face to his. “Answer me.”

“Yes,” you panted as his palm pressed on your clit. “I want more. Please give me more, Percy.”

“Good girl.” He praised and swiped his thumb across your bottom lip. “But I don’t think you deserve it. You’ve been greedy for my touch and ungrateful for what I give you. Distracting me all through class with your leg pressed against mine and your cleavage teasing me every time you leaned into the table.”

The way his fingers were speeding up made it hard to focus on his voice in your ear but he continued anyway.

“Barely said a word to me but now here you are,” he took his time pressing a kiss to the spot below your ear. “So desperate for my cock.”

Your approaching orgasm made your pride disappear and you readily begged him for release.

“Look at you, so pretty when you beg for me.” He watched you intently, taking in every signal your body gave until he knew you were seconds from going over the edge. “I bet you do this all the time.”

At that he suddenly pulled his hand away from where you needed it. Your whine of frustration had no affect on him as he leisurely brought his fingers to his mouth to clean them of your juices.

“Huh? I bet you tease any poor guy who happens to sit next to you. You get them so hooked on you that they follow you to bed. Isn’t that right, baby?” Percy’s words and lack of contact made you hurriedly deny them.

“No,” you insisted and turned your face to his. “Of course not.”

“No? Are you sure?” His hand caressed your jaw and moved down, tempting you with feather light touches.

“Yes. There’s only you.” Your assurances earned you a kiss.

“Good girl. Now roll over and stick that pretty ass up for me.”

Doing as he said, your cheek pressed into his pillow and your back arched for him, hoping that your eager compliance will get him to forgo any further teasing and just rail you.

Percy brushed the hair from your face and leaned down to place a sweet kiss on the back of your neck and whisper, “You’re so beautiful.”

The softness of his tone distracted you until his hands found their hold on your hips and he thrusted into you.

Percy’s low groan filled your ears while his cock filled your pussy. You don’t think you’ve ever been this stretched before and you weren’t sure you could’ve taken him if you hadn’t already been so wet. The way his hands gripped you tighter made you peek over your shoulder to see his eyes shut and arms strained to keep himself from ramming into you.

I mean what can you say it was fucking hot.

To put him out of his misery you rolled your hips against his as a signal that you were ready and it apparently caught him off guard since he let out a cute little gasp. Then he caught you looking at him and his cheeks reddened at your smiling to his boyish response. The only way you could describe his following look was “You’re gonna regret that.”

But when he started off at a brutal pace you honestly could say you didn’t regret a thing. His dick pounded into you and hit deeper than anyone else had before. Your hands desperately tried to find purchase on his sheets and gripped them tightly when one of his hands snaked around and found your clit again.

Percy hung on every noise you made and wondered if anything else would ever sound as good as you moaning his name, which made him want to see your face as you did.

He pulled out of you and turned you onto your back, your eyes meeting as he propped one of your legs against his shoulder and went back to work. He liked this. Being able to watch you come undone around him, your hair a mess and your chest bouncing with his thrusts. But he also saw your hands grappling the sheets for something to hold onto and he thought he would offer his services one again.

Percy leaned down over you and captured your mouth with his once again, not breaking his rhythm even as your hands tugged on his shoulders and pulled him closer to you still.

“Y/n,” he groaned into your mouth when your hand gave a particularly hard pull to his hair.

“Percy, I’m… I-.”

“I know.” Your climax was moments away and Percy’s was right behind it. “Cum for me, babygirl.”

This boy was going to be the death of you. Percy leaned back from the kiss to hear all of the pretty sounds you made as you came around his cock, the clenching of your walls sending him over the edge with you.

You pulled Percy back down to you for one last kiss as you rode out your highs, this one slower than before. His forehead rested against yours as you were catching your breath and he kissed it before rolling over to lay next to you. Time passed as you both lay there for a while coming down from your highs and your eyes remained on the ceiling as your hand tentatively found his.

This is probably too weird he’s going to ask me to leave now that it’s over and in what world do you hold hands with somebody you just hooked up with? Your worries were silenced as he confidently took your hand in his and squeezed it.

“You want a granola bar?” he asked, causing a tired and satisfied burst of laughter to come from you.

“Fuckin… sure,” you replied and he reached over you to the nightstand and on his forearm you saw the “mysterious gang affiliated” tattoo that Lauren had been freaked out about. You admit, it was kind of weird, but it was probably nothing.

It could be initials or something, you pondered. The ‘P’ could stand for Percy.

“Here.” The boy in question offered you a granola bar and you unwrapped them before cheersing. You were kind of hungry, content to just lay there and eat the stupid granola bar and breathe with him.

“You did clean that couch after you got it off Craigslist, right?” You asked him after it popped into your head.

“What? Oh… yeah. Yeah.”

“Liar.”

Part 3

#percy jackson #percy jackson smut #percy jackson x you #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x y/n #jason grace #jason grace smut #Jason Grace x Reader #jason grace x you #jason grace x y/n

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justwonder113 · 4 years ago

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Midnight adventures

Matsukawa Issei x f.reader

WARNING: Angst to fluff, Slowburn, friends to lovers, mutual pining, kinda long and decent amount of cursing cuz I have no shame. Both reader and Matsun are kind of dumb.

word count 6.5k

You loved him, you really did, even though he sometimes drove you out of your mind and made you want to bash his head against the wall. And he knew that. He knew what kind of effect he had on you and he was amused by it. He knew just to push the right buttons, he knew how to rile you up.

You were like an open book to him, so of course he knew you had a crush on him from the start, and you knew that he was aware of your feelings. At first, you were reluctant and refused to admit having the slightest feelings for him, but after some time you accepted the fact and realized that at some point you made your feelings seem obvious. Well, he was your first actual crush, and you were inexperienced.

Your friends would also tease you a lot and at some point, they locked you two together so you could finally confess. It was after their match against shiratorizawa in the third year. That was the day you had your first kiss with him, honestly, you didn't know what happened that night, one moment you were arguing with him because he wanted to leave the team, you were basically yelling how amazing player and teammate he was and the next second you were kissing each other. You expected that after he would confess to you, but he never did. He acted with you like the kiss never happened and that really broke you.

Maybe that is why after all these years you decided to move away, both literally and emotionally. You spent all your high school years waiting for him, waiting for him to make a move, but before you knew it you graduated. You finished school not even holding hands with another boy because you thought he felt the same, you thought that maybe you could be together? But now you realized that it was all load of bullshit. Why did you have to go so far for a person who didn't care about you that much? Why did you have to hold back when he never said no to all the attention he got from girls? You knew that they meant nothing to him and that he only saw them as one-time flings but it still really hurt you. Did you even mean something to him?

You felt mad at yourself, you wasted all these years swooning over someone who didn't return your feelings. But the thing that angered you the most was that you still weren't over him. Your heart would still flutter like crazy whenever you saw him and as much as you hated it he looked better and better every time. You also hated the fact that you couldn't blame him for all this pain, you couldn't tell that you were heartbroken because he didn't love you, that wasn't much of a reason. You were the silly one here. Why were you even surprised? He knew you for years as friends. He probably only saw you as a friend and considered the kiss as a mistake.

To be honest, he never did anything wrong, he always treated you warmly, and with respect, he liked to piss you off but he never really crossed the line, you couldn't blame him for not loving you. You guys kissed like one time, he probably regretted it and didn't want to hurt your feelings that's why he never brought it up after that. He gave you space. He didn't tell you in your face that he didn't return your feelings, he never broke your heart, you were just the silly one, clinging tightly to that miserable string of hope. You were the weak one for falling for him. It would have been better if he screwed up, if he told you that he could never look at you romantically, maybe it would make you feel a little better, your heart would break but you would get over it? But no destiny said that he had to be perfect.

When you moved away to University you promised yourself that you would start everything from the fresh page, you would work on yourself and no longer be that helpless girl who couldn't even get over her crush. You spent months working on your self-confidence and other issues, you spent countless time getting yourself into shape. Let's say you worked on yourself pretty hard. And it paid off, you had finished university and were about to start your dream job, you had gotten an offer many would dream of, you did everything you wanted, you even got in a few relationships, you should have been satisfied right? Then why didn't feel so? Why was there a feeling of emptiness inside your soul and why was no one able to fill it? It made you furious, after all these years, how could you not move on? Why did you Think about Matsukawa when you kissed other men? Why did you keep comparing everyone to him? What did he even do to deserve a permanent place in your heart? Your heart still kept beating like crazy and it's been what? years? you were in your twenties already, you needed to move on!

You were back in the city to celebrate your friends' victory over his rivals. Oikawa being the flashy person he is decided to throw the biggest party possible and now here you were. You knew you would meet him here, he was his friend as much as you after all, but you didn't expect it to hurt this much. As you said time really had done its job on him, he looked more mature now, he was slightly taller and definitely more muscular, he decided to grow his hair too, you always knew that he would look amazing with slightly longer hair, he had also gotten a few tattoos that were seen through his rolled-up black shirt. Man, did it suit him, the shirt was a bit tight fit and it really complimented his muscular form. The tattoos looked amazing on him and were these rings he was wearing? And piercings! And he had his nails painted black, Really life? He looked like your dream man, thank you very much for nothing!

You knew you would run into him today and you tried to look your best, you knew it was silly but you felt like showing off, but after seeing him you felt kind of self-conscious. You wondered if your dress was a good choice, you chose it as it hugged your curves perfectly and really complimented them but now you were wondering if it was too much. Was your hair alright? You hoped it didn't get frizzy. Oh god, why was everyone staring at you? Your lipstick didn't smudge, right? Even though you were having a war inside your head it simply washed away in an instant as you saw the face of your best friend who was grinning like crazy. You quickly headed to her and engulfed them in a tight hug. God, you missed themso much! You felt lucky just by having them in your life, and they really helped you get through with your issues,they were with you every step of the way and you couldn't be more thankful. If it wasn't for them and your friends you doubted you would be standing here right now. Even though you still felt self-conscious sometimes like now overall you were a pretty confident person who radiated power. Even when you felt weak you managed to look powerful. Maybe this was your resting bitch face? You didn't know. You felt thankful that he didn't notice you he was too busy talking with some woman, typical.

"I missed you so much! Can't believe I'm seeing you after all this time. I really missed you all. And meeting on an occasion like this we just have to celebrate our reunion, I knew Oikawa would beat their asses someday," you grinned proudly. "Okay, I'm getting carried away, I really missed you tho. We have to catch on, let's ditch your them later and have some fun!" You ranted as you occasionally squeezed your best friend who kept chuckling.

"Now now Y/N-chan, you just came back don't go stealing my friends from me!" Oikawa came out of nowhere and snatched your best friend away from you, you pouted but chuckled in the end.

"Can't make promises Flattykawa. And in my defense, I knew them longer." You teased and made a face at him, Oikawa fake gasped and clutched his heart a smile never leaving his face. You missed this idiot and his dramatic shenanigans so bad.

"Again with a nickname! Y/F/N-chan she's being mean!" Your friend only chuckled at Oikawa's childlike behavior and patted his hand.

"She has a point tho." Your friend teased along.

"Betrayed by you too! What else should I expect today?" He whined, you only chuckled and opened your arms.

"I really missed you, you dork! I'm really proud of you," you said sweetly, Oikawa immediately hugged you, you smiled at the familiar warmth, Oikawa has been like an annoying brother to you, you weren't used to not hearing his constant whining and antics even after all these years living apart from them.

"I really missed you too! Nothing's the same without you!" You smiled at Oikawa's warm comment. You were glad they missed you the same way you missed them. You really tried to visit as frequently as you could but it was hard when all of you were covered in work. Out of all third years, Hanamaki and Matsukawa stayed in Japan, you and others left the country for Universities. You felt really emotional, it had been such a long time without them...

"Look at her, hugging Oikawa and Y/f/n-chan first, don't mind me I'm just gonna stand here until you decide to acknowledge me. I thought we had something special Y/n, you're breaking my heart here." You heard a deep voice behind you, you smiled and turned back smirking.

"I would say she has her priorities set right? I mean it's me you are talking about,"Oikawa boasted, Your friend giggled.

"Missed you too Hiro," you grinned as you playfully hit his shoulder then hugged him. It was good to be home.

"Where's my grizzly bear?" You asked as you searched the crowd for the angry spiky head.

"He's at the bar probably, Oikawa managed to talk his ears out already, he left a minute ago saying "I'm not drunk enough for this shit!" I'm sure he will be happy to see you." Makki smiled and wrapped his hand around your shoulder you smiled and leaned in on his touch. You had missed this so much!

You spent most of the evening chatting with people and having a nice time. Oikawa for sure knew how to throw a party, you even danced with some charming men. You felt uneasy tho, you and Matsukawa made eye contact a few times but none of you even moved to say something, you just smiled at each other awkwardly. Over the night you noticed how many girls approached him, well it wasn't surprising, he was a good looking young man, but you couldn't help but feel a tinge of annoyance on the inside. In the end, you tried your best to be your charming self. You talked to many different men and even danced with more of them, moving your hips passionately along the music. But you felt bored in the end. None of them were interesting, they didn't have a fire you wanted. How long were you going to be like this? Wasn't there someone who could I don't know sweep you off your feet?

Suddenly you felt overwhelmed, the alcohol was starting to kick in and you swayed your hips with a bit more passion, your best friend was next to you, Oikawa had left you two alone to have your time.

"You haven't talked to him right?" As always, Your friend guessed what was bothering you in a second.

"No, and I'm not planning on doing so. If he didn't think I were at least a little bit important than the girls he was talking to then I'm not going to interfere. I have self-respect. He didn't even bother to say hi." You rolled your eyes and chugged another shot, the alcohol mildly burned your throat but you were used to the feeling. You just felt like dancing and maybe even washing your worries away. You wanted to have fun, and you had a reason too, your friend won a gold medal and defeated his rivals! You decided to go and do another shot, getting near the bar, you noticed a familiar spiky head, you smiled and got closer finally sitting next to the buff man.

"Is this seat taken handsome?" You asked seductively, Iwaizumi's shoulders tensed for a second but he relaxed as soon as he saw your grinning face.

"Y/N!" He greeted you with a smile and got up, you were quick to wrap your hand around him.

"Good to see you, daddy." You grinned teasingly, Iwaizumi flushed immediately. You had a habit of teasing him, you often called him daddy because of his aggressive yes, but caring demeanor, and you really enjoyed it when he got flustered. Truth be told you were probably the only person who got away with teasing him without getting punched or kicked.

"God, when will you stop with the dumb nickname? People are going to get a very wrong idea, it's embarrassing," he grumbled and pointed to the bartender by his eyes, who was looking at you from time to time sneakily, he heard you and was shocked, you smirked and gave him a wink, making the boy blush harder. You smiled, as you eyed the boy he was definitely cute.

"I will stop when you won't have an adorable reaction like this," you teased, Iwaizumi only scoffed, but he didn't look mad.

"It's awfully early for you to start drinking, did Oikawa really talk your ears out?" You chuckled, Iwaizumi scoffed again but he looked amused.

"Unfortunately for me yes, I swear to God he never stops talking." You chuckled, it was such an Oikawa thing to do.

"Yeah, I'm glad Oikawa won, I'm sorry for your team but he did work really hard for it and really deserved it." You smiled fondly after noticing Oikawa dancing with your best friend over some cheezy song which probably he had chosen.

"Yeah, I'm glad too. You should have seen him tho, the all smug Oikawa crying nonstop like a baby after he realized he had won, well of course after they left the court, he was like Iwa-chan I did it!" Iwaizumi mimicked Oikawa's crying voice, you giggled. It sounded like Oikawa, "Don't laugh, who do you think had to stop him from crying? "Iwaizumi shuddered as you had a hard time holding your laughter. You had such a good time, you didn't even notice a pair of dark brown eyes observing your giggling form.

"Now all I can see is Oikawa clinging to you like a koala and crying his eyes out." Iwaizumi only looked at you with an unamused face, making you raise your hands in defeat, the deadly aura didn't go unnoticed by you. Iwaizumi rarely lost his cool around you, but it didn't mean you were immune to his rage. "I'm only kidding, Iwa baby, please don't get mad at me." You lightly pouted as you made puppy dog eyes at him, he only sighed and took another sip from his drink, you smiled and ordered a drink, you visibly relaxed, you didn't feel on edge anymore.

You talked for a while, but unfortunately for you, Iwaizumi had to leave, apparently drunk Oikawa was somewhere causing some trouble. You found it suspicious that was too much even for Oikawa but you didn't question it. Iwaiizumi only grumbled in annoyance and left, being used to all this stuff. You, on the other hand, Made small talk with the cute bartender, he was really good looking and surprisingly very charming and smooth. You were quite drunk already and you were feeling needy, so now here you were making out with him in some empty hallway. He was a good kisser, but you still didn't feel any spark. You wanted to feel the same tingling sensation as the one you felt when you had your first kiss with Issei. The situation was not at all romantic as you said, Oikawa and others locked you in the lockers, to make up after you had a little fight. You bickered at each other for a while, well it was you who was really arguing, you were really mad at him because he was bringing himself down and planned on leaving the team, and you were trying to get to his scull how amazing he actually was and soon your lips were against each other and it felt like the most magical feeling in the whole world. You had never felt anything like that when you kissed others and today was no exception, unfortunately for you. You tried to take the lead in the kiss maybe to make it feel more enjoyable for you but before you could even try, a hand made the man separate from you. You opened your eyes to see Issei, who didn't have a very pleased expression.

"I have business with Y/N, so I don't know, get lost?" Issei said without any emotion. You looked at him dumbfounded. He didn't even bother saying hi earlier, what business would he have with you? The boy, Souma was it? Looked at you two before speaking.

"Dude what the hell we were busy!" He groaned as he glared at Issei, who didn't seem really fazed.

"Do I really look like I care?" Matsukawa asked plainly, You took the chance to straighten up.

"Listen here you little..." Souma stopped before he would go on, as he felt chills run down his spine under Matsukawa's cold glare. You sighed and straightened up.

"I guess it's pretty important, I will contact you later ok?" You asked sweetly, but you both knew you weren't going to contact him. You didn't even have his number and you hadn't given him yours. Souma grumbled and left leaving you with Issei.

As soon as he left you were quick to smack Issei's arm. "Dude, what the fuck?" He only looked at you, grabbed your arm, and led you through the hallway. "What's with the cockblocking? He didn't seem too bad."

"I didn't like him." He said like it was the most obvious thing. It made you feel mad.

"Oh sorry, next time I will choose someone you might like, for future references what type of boys are you into?" You snarled lightly. You wanted to break free from his grasp but it was too strong. Soon your back made contact with the cold wall, and you were caged between Issei's strong arms. You tried to protest but before you could even say a word his lips were on you. You didn't know how to act, your whole body went stiff but after a second you felt your body relaxing.

"God, you're beautiful." He said as he kissed you again, his big hands snaking around your waist. You were speechless, you didn't really realize what was going on. But your body felt like it was on fire. His lips kept brushing against yours just perfectly, your skin was burning hot under his touch. Your heart was beating like crazy, you only managed to whimper against him and he took this as a chance to deepen the kiss. You tried to keep up but it was physically impossible. His kiss was deep and passionate, kind of possessive too. You could feel all his lust through it. You moaned lightly, unable to control yourself. You put your hands on his chest, you could even feel his strong yet fast heartbeat, you pushed lightly, Issei took the hint and leaned back. He stared at you, admiring your beautiful form, you looked so pretty all flustered and breathless, he had wanted to do this for such a long time, for the whole night you had basically been teasing him and his patience was running thin.

"What came over you. I..." You didn't know what to say, you were so confused.

"Do you remember our random sneak outs in highschool?" How could you forget, you just lived for the tiny adventures you, Makki and he used to have at three am. Sometimes when Hiro didn't feel like coming, you would go with him instead. Eating ice cream or random junk food at three am on your special spot, you lived for it. Sometimes you didn't even talk for a whole night but still felt so comfortable. Your chest tightened again at the memory. But why bring it up now? This didn't explain all the raging questions you had.

You nodded your head quietly, looking at him through glossy eyes. "I do. Why?" Your voice was so weak it made you cringe. You didn't know, what was this about? Why bring it up now.

"Would you go on an adventure with me? I know it's Oikawa's special day, but Y/N I... We both know that we need to talk." You looked up at him with wide eyes, you had never seen him like this, he looked so serious and desperate too? Despite feeling all furious and all you nodded and let him lead you through the crowd and to his car.

"I will text him, he might get worried. But what should I say? Where are we even going? We're in Tokyo, don't tell me we're going to Miyagi!" You asked as you sat down in his car, you were confused, all this stuff was confusing you.

"No, I don't plan to take you to Miyagi, I was thinking of ordering a shit ton of junk food via drive-in and then taking you to the place I found earlier. Don't worry I'm sure you will like it." Issei assured you as he got in his car, started the engine, and started driving.

"Are you really trying to get on my good side via food? I'm really mad it's not going to be that easy." You furrowed your eyebrows, Issei huffed a laugh.

"Maybe I am? We both know that you will sell your soul to satan for a bag of doritos! If I keep your mouth busy while I tell you something at least I won't have to worry about you biting my head off," Issei pointed out like it was the most obvious argument while smirking proudly, you scoffed.

"I will hit you so hard after you stop the car, I'm not doing it now because I value my life. And besides, it's not about whether or not I will like the place. It can be next to a strip bar or some abandoned place, what's important is that you will say and you know that." You said as a matter of fact and turned away from him, looking through the window.

"I know." He sighed after a second, the atmosphere was heavy, opposite of what you were used to. You started liking Mattsun because things were easy with him and that it was full adventures, but now... You had to calculate everything you said, how you moved, how you looked at him, and stuff. When did it become so painful to be in the same space as him? And the stuff he wanted to tell you terrified you. What if he admitted that he never saw you seriously? That he only felt desire for you at some doing and nothing else. You didn't even know what made him act up today, did he have at least the slightest feelings for you or did he just found desirable in that tight dress? Maybe he just didn't like the face another man tried to take you away. Either way, anxiety was eating you from the inside. Your heart kept beating rapidly and your fingers actually hurt from playing too hard with them.

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't even notice how he ordered and got the food. You only came back to reality only when he opened your door gently took your hand in his big one. "We're here." He helped you get out of it. The cold air immediately hit you, making you shiver slightly. "Here take this." He said as he put his jacket on your shoulders, it was so big you were basically swimming in it but on the contrary, it was really warm and soft and it smelled like him! Just perfect, you immediately snuggled in. Mattsun then took the food package from the backseat. He quickly locked the car and led you through again. You were now in front of a big clearly abandoned building, you hesitated for a second and tightened your grip around his hand, Issei looked at you, carefully examining your face."Are you feeling scared? I promise it's a safe place, I have been here. You still like exploring weird buildings like this right?" He teased lightly, squeezing back your hand. You only pouted.

"I do like exploring buildings like this, but when I said abandoned building I was joking you know that right? I like these kinds of places but not in dresses like this and especially not in high heels. I like being prepared to run from my life if there's a huge creep or some sort of monster, I don't know! And I haven't done something like that for such a long time, and we're not in Miyagi too, everything's new here!" You said as a matter of fact while playing with your hair, Issei only chuckled. You felt nervous. Before you could even comprehend what was happening Issei had already picked you over his shoulder. You felt like a sack of potatoes.

"Oh my god, Matsun what are you doing? Put me down!" You tried squirming away at the same time you clutched his shirt too afraid to fall. He started laughing, you felt vibrations through his back, you couldn't help but smile, you liked when he laughed.

"No way, I like carrying you and I have the best view too so no way princess."You could tell he was grinning while looking at your ass and it made you mumble in annoyance. You gasped when he spanked your bottom lightly, you smacked his back in response. "Do you like the view?"

"Shut up!" You whined, which made him chuckle harder. "Put me down, my dress is short!" You started wiggling again, but he had a death grip on you. You could feel the blood rushing to your face and at this point, you were not sure if it was from embarrassment, just having your head low and blood rushing to your head or just anger.

After a minute of him walking and you admiring his ass, he finally put you down. You looked around, the building was empty, there was no furniture and some of the walls were covered in graffiti. Other than that you enjoyed the place, it had a certain vibe to it. You wandered for a second, exploring the room. When you turned around you didn't see him, you walked around and eventually came out on the huge veranda. The sight made you gasp, Issei had laid the blankets on the floor and taken out the food, it looked so cozy! There were some pillows too. It was just like a little picnic, the dim streetlights also shone nicely with some fairy lights there and there and the sight in front of you of the night city was magnificent. Everything looked so simple yet so perfect.

"Okay, stop or I might have to actually marry you." You pointed at everything dramatically, you couldn't contain your smile. Everything looked like the pics you have seen on social media or in the movies. Issei smiled at you softly, you looked so cute all excited like that. His jacket really suited you too, you looked so perfect.

"I knew you would like this. I'm glad you actually agreed to come." He smiled and patted space next to him, you sighed and sat carefully, holding down your dress, it was short at it was you didn't want it to slide up too much.

"You knew I wouldn't refuse such tempting request, didn't you? I always liked our little adventures," you smiled fondly, recalling sweet high school memories.

You spent few minutes in silence watching the city, eating there and there, but it wasn't uncomfortable like before, your anxiety had calmed down a little too. You just sat there and enjoyed the moment. You didn't even notice when he took your hand but you didn't bother to take it back. You wished you could stay like this forever but you also knew it was wrong. You had to ask the question, even if hearing it could destroy you. You both knew that.

"Matsu, why did you kiss me earlier? I'm trying to understand what's going on between us but now I'm especially confused. Why did you do it? I thought you didn't like me," You were talking quietly, but in reality, it was really hard for you to contain your sea of emotions. Issei tightened his grip on your delicate fingers, neither of you bothered to look at each other in the eyes. He took a deep breath and started talking quietly.

"I don't know myself. I thought I had let go of you, I thought I was over you, but when I saw you again all feelings came crashing down on me again. You looked so breathtaking, I fell in love with you all over again. So pretty and all dolled up and this dress. God this dress, hugs you so perfectly on all the places I want to touch, I actually feel jealous of it. I want to rip it off and have you all to myself and never let go. I don't want to let go now that I tasted your lips again." He spoke lowly, his voice was raspy and it sent chills down your spine. " You are the most beautiful person here you know that right? You are probably the most beautiful person in the whole city, I think even in whole Japan or better the world!" Matsun kept going on and on setting your heart ablaze. You were mad, but at the same time, you were so at ease and felt so at comfort. It was like your mind and heart were battling each other and you had no idea which would win.

"I'm still really mad at you." You grumbled against his chest, Issei hummed and wrapped his hands tighter around your waist.

"I know and you have every right to." Issei hummed and pecked your hair, he then grabbed your chin lightly and made you look at him. "I'm really sorry Y/N, all I have been doing is to cause you pain. It was never my intention. I love you, god, I love you so much! I know you will be better without me. You can find so many who are way better than I am and would treat you like you really deserve. And I thought I came around with the fact that I wouldn't be the one to have you in the end. I always knew that. That's why I never made any kind of move on you. When you entered the party you looked like a different person. You were the most beautiful person I have ever met, you looked so confident and comfortable in your own skin and most of all you looked so happy! I didn't want to come to you and ruin it. I felt so proud too, you achieved so many things! God, you don't know how proud I am to even know you!" Matsun kept going on and on, you haven't even heard him talk this much in a row, he was always a man of few words. He looked so desperate too, and the way his voice broke, killed you too. You had known him for years but you still never had seen him like this. Honestly, You had no idea what to do. You wanted to yell at him and comfort him at the same time. You tightened your grip around his hand, your knuckles were starting to whiten but you didn't care. You wanted for him to know you were listening, that you were there.

"Matsun, I..." You tried to start but he interrupted you.

"Please let me finish." The tone of his broken voice immediately made you shut up. "I know it was my own choice to let you go, and I really thought I was fine with that but when I saw you... When I saw you something like snapped in me. I tried to take my mind away, I kept talking to this women to keep my mind off of you, but how can I pay any attention to these peasants when a literal goddess has taken over my heart? And when I saw you kissing that asshole I almost went feral! I would have murdered him if I had a chance. He was touching the one I basically find sacred so disrespectfully, I almost lost my mind. Then I got you to myself I couldn't help but kiss you. Your lips always look so welcoming I couldn't help myself. And I want to do it again and again. I don't ever want to let go. I miss you like crazy! I don't know if I can be apart from you again. I... God, I sound so pathetic, I don't even understand what's happening with me. I covered this place with blankets and stuff you love because I hoped you would come to another adventure with me. Funny thing is that I wasn't even planning on asking, I don't know how we ended up here. I thought I would end up coming here all alone, wallowing myself in self-pity again. I know I don't deserve it, and I know that everything's my fault and my fault only and I would understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me, but could you give me another chance? I don't think I can last any more minute without you. I miss you so much it actually hurts."

Matsukawa looked at you with pleading eyes, and before you could even comprehend what was happening, you were getting in his lap and were kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He was startled for a second, he clearly didn't expect you to have a reaction like this but he wasn't against it at all. In fact, in a second, he was the one taking the lead and deepening the kiss. His hands digging in your hair while you slid yours through his hair. He would have continued doing so before you leaned back and broke the kiss. He looked at you half dazed. You were quick to bring him back to his senses when you harshly smacked his head.

"That hurts!" He complained, which made you more fueled up and now you punched his shoulder.

"That's the point of hitting! I want it to hurt you asshole!" You yelled. "You know you're a huge fucking idiot right? What's with this bullshit about not being worthy to be next to me? If I didn't think your ass was worthy I wouldn't have fallen in love with you! My taste in men may not be that great but I'm not stupid! I appreciate that you're thinking about my happiness or whatever, even though it's totally uncalled for, and thank me for not beating your ass further! But I get to decide what's good for me and what's not. To your surprise genius, that comes to dating too! I get to decide whom I want to date and fall in love with and in this case, it happens to be you, fuck it always has been you! I had some partners but I didn't love any of them, cause your caterpillar brow ass has managed and captured my heart, I always come to compare them to you, and guess what they're not you! God, you can be so stupid for someone who is supposed to be smart! I'm really disappointed Matsun and mad too! I want to beat your ass even further! God, how did you even manage to come up with this bullshit? I swear to god!" You kept grumbling while messing with Issei who looked like he was still in shock, his cheeks were dusted pink and you couldn't help but squeal on the inside from how cute you found it. You made Issei blush! That was an achievement for sure and such an adorable one too! But you couldn't back down now, you felt actually mad that he had such dumb thoughts like this, but on the other hand, you found it very endearing and cute. He was trying to protect you! And by the looks of it, he was hurting just as much as you. But the fact remained the same, he loved you. Your dream came true, he shared the same feelings! You felt so happy, you wanted to kiss his face till your lips fell off.

"You know you don't have to straight ass roast me right?" Issei tried to look offended but he was having a hard time hiding his grin, you smiled and pinched his cheek making him roll his eyes.

"Oh baby, I'm not even started. What did you think I was going to forget everything? And don't be mislead Makki can't even come close to me when it comes to teasing. You're in for a ride sweetheart, teasing is only just begging, maybe if you find a few ways to shut me up, and you know what I mean, I could keep quiet for a while, you could atone for your stupid ass mistakes with many kisses for starters. I don't know Matsu get creative. The point is you're stuck with me and you can't even run from me now you got it? No more bullshit like I don't deserve you and stuff like that," You said as slowly and as seductively as you could having your face close to his and occasionally brushing your lips against his. Still being in his lap gave you the perfect leverage and you just loved the way he was tightly holding your hips, to keep your bodies close. You felt complete after such a long time...

The hurt and all the emotions didn't wash away immediately obviously, you knew that your wounds would take time to heal, but now at least you knew Issei would be next to you through the journey and that was enough. You knew that now, that you had talked things through, maybe yelled from your side but still, you knew that you could overcome many things together. You just needed to voice your thoughts out.

"Wasn't even planning on it baby," he growled while he closed the distance between your lips again making you squeal a little. Yup, you just loved your little midnight adventures.

God, I can't believe I actually wrote over 6500+words. No wonder my eyes hurt like a bitch lol. Anyway, I really hope you will like it. If you have any kind of feedback please notify me. I'll gladly take some healthy criticism. I really want to improve my writing and I promise I will do my best. This is a firts work I have ever published on tumblr and I really hope you will like it^^

#haikyuu #haikyuu angst to fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #matsukawa #matsukawa x you #hq matsukawa #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa issei #badass reader #hq x reader #hq #reader insert #angst to fluff #mutual pining #friends to lovers

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