#i never did this for xtian holidays for.... many reasons

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I used to keep track of major jewish holidays many years ago. Obviously, I didn't know about all of them, but I would post a hearty "happy [holiday]!" on my instagram stories. I had one jewish friend at the time and I didn't really post that for them specifically. I guess part of me posted those things for myself? It was mostly out of joy and hopefulness, though I didn't know what that was, why it was, or what it meant

But now, I'm looking through my memories and I get to see "happy Rosh Hashanah!!!" and "IT'S HANUKKAH!!!" posts right when those holidays would have been and it's almost surreal

[a-very-tired-jew]

I'm with you there @imyourbadjew.

It's one thing to be secular and still have those connections. I know many secular Jews, myself included, who went to synagogue when they were younger, did their B'nei Mitzvah, and then stopped attending once they reached that milestone for one reason or another. But they never lost their connection to their community and culture.

It's another to either go through the above and not have any connection at all unless it's convenient or not even have the aforementioned experiences, not have any connection, and then pull out the "as a Jew" card for some reason. Yes, you are ethnically one of us, but you have little to no understanding of what that means.

For example; I have two IRL Jews I've known for 20+ years who were using their "as a Jew" cards repeatedly during the first year of the conflict. They did so to say certain things were not antisemitic and used all the anti-Zionist talking points we've come to expect.

Yelling at random Jews in the street? Molotoving a synagogue? A place of business? Threatening to kill all Jews because "antisemitic reason".

"As a Jew that's not antisemitic."

They justified any and all things as tokens.

Both of these former friends have openly stated in the past that they are not part of any Jewish community, their family does not practice in any way, and have displayed disdain for almost everything Jewish because they're so far removed from it that they have goyische perceptions of Judaism and Jewish culture. I have been present around them in the past where they were literally repeating antisemitic Xtian talking points about Orthodox Jews, and when pressed didn't even know the difference between the various practices or what that entails. These same persons didn't even know what Sephardi or Mizrahi were until those terms started popping up in the Israel/Palestine discourse.

But suddenly they're reconnecting.

And that reconnecting was getting a menorah, taking pictures of them lighting it, and wishing people happy Hannukah back in 2023. That didn't happen this past Hannukah (2024). In fact, they didn't post a single thing about it. Indicating that their "reconnection" and "observance" back in 2023 was performative. Absolutely no mention of any other holidays, going to anything that would connect them to their local community and culture, or even just a JCC.

Nada.

Zip.

Zilch.

I also noticed they suddenly went quiet on social media about Israel/Palestine. They started posting less and less frequently as the momentum for the movement sputtered over the summer, but after the Amsterdam Pogrom happened they stopped posting about it completely. I think they saw the absolute unadulterated antisemitic hate and justification for the event and just packed it up. The "as a Jew" card was no longer in vogue and/or safe to play. So they packed it up and haven't done anything with it since.

Are they still Jewish? Of course. But their willful ignorance and refusal to be informed about their own people, culture, religion, and ethnicity is very telling. They propagate and justify harm to us by being tokens and talking out their ass rather than saying "I don't know" because their ideological position is more important than speaking from a place of educated experience.

this question is for jewish + indigenous folk, please do not offer your unqualified opinion!

what are your thoughts on reconnecting members of your community?

(jews, i am NOT talking about converts with buried jewish ancestry, i mean people with one jewish parent or grandparent who were raised without any connection to judaism and are now engaging with it WITHOUT converting or attending formal services/classes/etc.)

we always say a jew is a jew is a jew, and i really do believe that, but i also have encountered a lot of “well my [parent/grandparent/stepparent/etc] is jewish and therefore i’m jewish which makes me a qualified authority on this subject”. this specific type of person has about a preschool level understanding of judaism, if that, and frequently spreads misinformation. it’s not uncommon for them to say requiring formal conversion is some flavor of bigoted and that they won’t do it on principle. i should also note they are not baal teshuvah (jews raised secular who later become more religious). personally…i can’t find it in me to call these people my people. the fundamental aspects of what makes a culture - food, holidays, music - we don’t share those experiences and more to the point you have no interest in sharing them, at least not meaningfully. judaism is an aesthetic to these people. to me, it’s my life.

[ringneckedpheasant]

do you ever remember how you picked mythal's vallaslin for kiernan without knowing the lore? becuz i think about it constantly u.u

on that note, can we get rhian and kiernan's personal reasonings for getting the mythal vallaslin?

i do remember this occasionally and it remains the most incredible coincidence that’s happened in my oc designs

anyway. rhian and kiernan’s reasoning is much the same, though kiernan’s had a little added “this is what my big sister did and i admire him” to it. but. are you at all familiar with the phenomenon among some xtians of people who have really shitty/abusive dads trying to find comfort in a “personal relationship with g-d” by telling themselves that g-d is their father and that’s what matters? even though it’s a poor substitute for actual parental love? even though they still can’t go home for holidays or call their parents when they’re sad or ever count on any kind of love or support? yeah. that’s kind of what rhian and kiernan have going on with mythal.

rhian is much more serious about it and like, “feels” it more than kiernan. kiernan tries, and he doesn’t take dalish beliefs any less seriously for the lack of connection that he feels to mythal, but he’s always felt like there’s just. an absence there. and he envies rhian for that. (this is also part of the reason he hates cassandra so much)

all of this of course is made 1000x more lethal by the fact that mythal Absolutely Sucks! just started thinking abt kiernan or rhian being present when morrigan and flemeth argue over kieran and kiernan having to hear that “i am many things but i will never be the mother you were to me” and it made me CRY

[docholligay]

Ok so to preface this, I follow a rabbi on here and I was planning on posing this question to him, then saw your recent posts and thought to send it to you as well since you're one the more vocal of the Jews I follow on here: I've been thinking about Judaism a lot, and tossing around the idea of converting. I know there's a lot I need to unlearn, being culturally xtian, but what are some thing you'd recommend I focus on? I also know I need to examine my reasons for why I would want to commit to this; anything I might overlook in that dept? I'm trying make sure I want this for the right reasons, and not, as your tag said, for clout. I'm pretty sure I dont, but I want to make 100% sure I'm doing this right in all aspects.

DO NOT REBLOG

First things first, I would have you ask yourself, in a really reflective way, why you want to convert. 

What do you find beautiful about Judaism, that you can’t get in any other way? Have you been studying Torah? Have you read in depth about what different movements hold as their banners? Would you convert if you were never allowed to weigh in on what is or isn’t Anti-Semitic online? Would you convert if you were never allowed to put it in your about me? Is the visibility of being that minority part of the pull? What IS it about being Jewish that draws you? This is not an easy question, and really if you can snap answer it you haven’t thought deeply enough. 

Judaism done correctly DEMANDS a lot of you. Do you want those demands? How will you work to constantly be picking up more mitzvot? How will you work to climb the ladder of righteousness, or is it merely the lure of something that is quasi-exotic? If this sounds like I’m being rough on you, I am, I have an old-school rabbinical holding that conversion should never be taken lightly, and it should only be when you CANNOT talk yourself out of it for deeply personal reasons that you pursue it. You can learn about Judaism and engage with Jewish ideas without converting. As a convert, having chosen this covenant, you should hold yourself to an even higher standard. 

As far as unlearning cultural Christianity, things I have noticed converts do that they don’t always seem to realize they engage in, because they don’t THINK of them as having a Christian basis: 

Lashon hara (We take this one seriously!) 

Black and white thinking/ moral purity (There is only one answer to this complicated issue and it so happens to be the one I rested at, any other idea should be blackballed and not discussed. This comes from the idea of Sin being a very serious thing and also All Sins are Equal Intention is Meaningless, whereas Judaism has a much different shade to it on transgression and repentance  ) 

Subgroup to this: Assurance. Cultural Christians are SO SURE OF THEMSELVES. What they believe, what they would do in any situation, and if you try to talk to them about it, they’re almost always like, “No, no I know I would do X/I think Y” and this is true on nearly any given topic.

This Person Cannot Be Learned From Because They Did a Bad Thing (Please read the Torah, I’m begging you--this goes back to the Jesus “washing” one’s sins away, Jesus being a TOTALLY PURE person to save us all, etc. It’s not realistic. King David literally had a man killed to fuck his wife, he’s a great hero of Judaism.) 

Examining one’s motivations. This is one of the hardest ones, I think, but Judaism often asks us to ask ourselves WHY we’re doing something. Is it to elevate yourself, or hurt someone who has hurt you? I fuck this one up all the time, but when I do, I am quick NOT to excuse myself. 

But Why Follow Rules if You Don’t Believe in God? The more you get into this, the more culturally Christian atheists will annoy the SHIT out of you with this, because they can’t see a reason to follow Stringencies other than “I’ll fucking spank you” They don’t often see the value of cultural and social touchpoints, the value of boundaries, etc. I believe in God maybe half the time, at best. You’ll find fully Orthodox people who are VERY stringent, and don’t believe in God. Picking up mizvot is about community and dedication as much as it is anything else. 

I’m sure there’s more offhand, but the ones converts generally THINK of are: Thinking of the holidays as Christmastime, no matter what else is going on, what does prayer mean, etc. The OVERTLY religious things, they seem to get easily, it’s the cultural and social ways of thinking that attract so many people to Judaism under a religious lens, but turn them off when they realize there’s a social lens aspect to it as well, and then find themselves on the outs, sometimes, in communities full of Jews by Birth. 

paging @verbforverb with any other observations.