#i never cared a lick about who wrote clannad

[lacepockets]

To elaborate on this, in case you actually care (I don't think you do, because you just sounded like you were trying to make me feel bad about my opinions):

Clannad's themes of forming connections with people even when it isn't easy, and living your life beyond trauma, abuse, and grief, and how that togetherness with others can not only help heal you and those around you it also has the capability of creating miracles... It really resonated with me, especially at the time, when I was struggling with my own sense of self and purpose in my life. I related to those characters.

Umineko which I love dearly as well, came much later (2004 for Clannad vs 2010 for Umineko's conclusion), and it does have a lot of the same themes, because such themes are fairly common in eastern media. But the way the story is told in Clannad is more grounded in reality and thus easier for me to see myself in/relate to. Its characters are easier, because the main characters aren't written with a focus on how effed up people can be with sufficient motives, like they are in Umineko. I think that that's a very interesting and important thing to explore in fiction, but it doesn't exactly lend itself to resonating in the same way. And that's okay! Because different stories have different importance to different people 🙂

But, with respect... the "misery porn" angle is just kind of silly, honestly — Clannad is a story about hope, and you cannot experience hope without despair. Besides if you want to go that route, it can be argued anyway that Umineko is worse on the "misery porn" scale because almost every real character dies and there isn't any truly happy ending after everything, after all the abuse and traumatic backstories. The Ushiromiya family is full of terrible people, and even though you learn why they are the way they are, it doesn't and shouldn't actually make them any less terrible. They're all great characters with amazing writing and frankly (in most cases) understandable motives and mentalities... but they're still godawful human beings with the exception of just a few of them.

Yasu isn't allowed to live no matter what Battler does, so in the course of her life, her hopes and dreams don't really convey an actually hopeful message. They serve as coping mechanisms for her extreme self-hatred and perceived lack of a purposeful existence, and help her through her own trauma... but as she isn't able to actually live out her dreams in the end, it's not a very hopeful situation. Not to mention Battler and Ange end up shouldering the burden of everything that happened on Rokkenjima, a weight that entirely crushes Battler to the point that he feels like "Battler" died with Yasu, and he and Ange both have to carry that weight functionally alone.

Again, I emphasize, I love Umineko dearly, I really do. I will absolutely go to bat for it. It's one of my favorite pieces of media ever created and the story is beautiful in its own, tragic right. But Clannad's presentation of its messages and aversion of complete tragedy is why it's so important to me and why, for me, it gets so many high spots.

i have no idea how you could place clannad ANYWHERE on that vn chart if you've read umineko omfg. clannad is anti-heterosexuality misery porn birth control in the form of a story and umineko is one of the best things that have ever been written. you look at the writers and how ryukishi07 has been going strong for yeaaaaars and jun maeda dropped the pen never to be found after he was told he couldn't write porn stories anymore. be serious

I love Umineko a lot, it's absolutely one of my favorite stories ever written! I agree that it's one of the best things ever written, and ryukishi is amazing. 😊 Clannad has just been very personally important to me for many years (especially the anime, but the VN was great too), so it gets several spots on my chart. ♥

[aconstellationofmemories]

Good Parents

This fic is dedicated to @unicornbeauty290, who has her big day ahead of her soon. I wrote this as a way to commemorate the happy ocassion. It's not good but I hope you like it, Liyah. I challenged myself with this one. Just know that I'm dead from writing this fic. (How dare you rush the birthday girl, haha.)

Bonus points to those who caught the Clannad reference!

Word Count: 2.6k (my longest yet omg).

AO3

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“Gray-sama! Over here.” Juvia tugged Gray by his arm. He let her pull him as she weaved them through the crowd.

Earlier at the guild, she had gabbered about a popular dessert shop and the satisfied reviews from their customers. Their desserts were supposedly spectacular, especially their ice sherbets – a must try, she said.

Although in reality she spent half an hour just talking about the shop’s desserts, he felt like it was an eternity. He would never admit it to her – he couldn’t hurt her feelings, no matter how boring it was – but he had zoned out a few times.

Her chatter stopped abruptly when she stared up at him with puppy eyes and asked him to try their popular dessert with her. She had said something about how it’d be a memorable occasion if he accompanied her on one of their anniversaries.

When she put it that way, he didn’t have it in him to deny her. Coupled with the loving way she gazed up at him, like he was somebody special, and he was a goner.

So here he was.

Getting dragged, and not complaining about it.

Gray didn’t know who he was anymore.

With her skilful manoeuvres, they arrived at the dessert shop in no time. She turned to him enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Gray-sama, can you pay for Juvia?”

He frowned, puzzled by her request. "You don't have any money?" he asked in a neutral tone.

"Juvia does but she'd like you to."

"All right." It was his plan to buy it for her in the first place.

"Gray-sama's treating Juvia!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

"Huh?" He wasn't getting where she was going.

"But Gray-sama shouldn't mind paying." She suddenly turned serious.

He never felt more confused in his life. "Why?" he dared to ask.

"Because it's for Juvia."

He sighed. Despite being on the receiving end of her fantasies countless times, they never failed to befuddle him. She appeared as excited as a child who was about to get her first taste of a sweet. He didn't have the heart to dampen her excitement, so he played along with her.

Yeah, he needed a brawl with Natsu later to confirm he was still Gray.

“One blueberry sher–”

“Ya naughty little thief! Ya ain’t getting away this time!”

He glanced sideways to the direction of the noise just in time to see a boy tossed to the ground. The baker towered threateningly over him, casting a looming shadow. The child cowered and crawled back a few inches, a bread in his lap.

“P-please...” the boy pleaded, his voice breaking.

“I need to teach ya a lesson, ya little thief,” the baker spat out.

With his hand raised, he smacked down to hit the boy.

To the man’s surprise, a streak of ice swiftly crossed his path and blocked his slap. His palm hit a pointed shard of ice and instantly withdrew his hand in pain. “What the...”

Standing protectively in front of the child, Gray levelled the man a glowering look. “It’s you who needs a lesson.”

He heard Juvia rush to the child’s side from behind him. “It’s all right, you’re safe now,” she tried to console the boy.

“Don’t meddle in business that ain’t yours, young fella,” the baker warned, glaring at Gray.

“It’s sure as hell is mine when you’re hurting a kid,” he countered, his voice hard.

“This wee thief can’t keep his hands off my breads. I ain’t letting him off the hook. And now I ain’t letting you off the hook either.”

The baker charged toward Gray and swung his fists at him. Gray, now sans his jacket, deftly dodged his attacks by evading to the side. He bounced back a few steps and placed his hands in his Ice Make stance. “Ice Make: Hammer!” A large ice hammer appeared out of thin air above the man and slammed down on him. The attacked knocked the man out cold.

“Let’s see if anyone buys from you after this,” Gray muttered in distaste.

The crowd that gathered while they fought shouted their cheers for the ice mage. He ignored them and pivoted on his heels to check on the boy. The child peeped at him from behind Juvia while clutching her dress.

“Gray-sama was amazing as always.” She offered his discarded jacket.

He took it and put it on. “How’s the kid?” he scanned the shy boy.

“Besides some old minor injuries, he’s okay. Juvia thinks he’s starved,” she replied, concerned.

“What’s your name?” Gray asked. The child didn’t answer. He tried another approach. “Wanna eat something?” He smiled a little to reassure shy fella.

The boy’s eyes immediately brightened. “Yes!” he said, fisting Juvia’s dress and the stolen bread in his small hands.

“Come to my shop!” a lady from the crowd stepped forward with her offer. “I’ll treat you guys for kicking that high and mighty arse.”

“Well, it isn’t necessary... We can pay for our meals,” Gray said awkwardly, raising a hand to the back of his head.

“You young ones hush and come over, will you?” the lady demanded.

“Let’s go, Gray-sama!” Juvia tugged his arm for Mavis knows how many times it had been today.

While he appeared somewhat annoyed by her public displays of affection, he was in fact secretly enjoying it. The sensation of her soft curves against his was a lovely bonus. Another thing I would never admit to her. She was crazy enough as it is; Gray didn’t need her craziness to be multiplied upon his confession.

--------------------

As soon as the waiter served the plate of curry rice, the child jumped right in to feast on it. Gray and Juvia reminded him repeatedly that no one was going to steal his food, therefore he could eat slowly. The normally timid boy paid no attention to them as he munched on his food. The plate was wiped clean in mere moments.

Gray nudged the second serving to him, and he gobbled the meal down just as quickly. With the second plate licked clean of any leftover, the boy rested against his seat and patted his bulging stomach.

“Are you full now?” Juvia asked cheerily from beside him.

Her voice jolted him back to his fearful self as he straightened. His nervous hazel eyes flickered to them. “T-thank you...for saving me and feeding me...”

“It was nothing,” Gray said nonchalantly.

“Don’t mention it.” Juvia smiled brightly at the boy. “Do you have a home?”

He fidgeted in his seat and squeezed his hands. “T-the street is my home. I was abandoned.”

The boy might as well have grabbed hold of Gray’s heart and squeezed it than his own tiny hands. He had expected the answer, but it didn’t make him any less pained to hear it confirmed. There was a flicker of a grimace on the ice mage’s face before it passed.

Juvia gasped, a frown marring her features. “That’s so sad.”

“I-I don’t have anywhere else to go.” His gaze dropped to the ground.

“I know a place,” Gray said. The boy lifted up his head, his interest piqued. “They’ll take care of you. Do you want to go there?”

The boy remained silent.

“We can’t just leave you in the streets,” Juvia said softly.

“W-will I have food?” He fixed his gaze on Gray for the first time.

Of course, the first question he asked was about food. Gray wasn’t one to indulge in pity – it never got you anywhere – but he couldn’t help the slight tightening of his heart for the boy. His heart ached a little when he imagined the suffering the child must have gone through.

“Every day, whenever you want,” he said softly.

The light returned to his eyes. “Yes, I do!”

Apparently you just had to mention food and the boy was on for anything.

--------------------

The sun had dipped down the horizon and painted the sky with shades of orange and purple when the trio arrived at a church. Back when they were kids, Cana had mentioned to him that she lived in this church orphanage before she joined Fairy Tail. They took good care of her, she had told him, even though the Father was odd. Just the other day, he heard that she brought Wendy to visit the children at the church.

“I must fix the child’s fashion sense,” Father Block said, contemplating as he fixed his critical gaze on the boy’s tattered clothes.

“Seriously, Father? The kid is homeless, for God’s sake.” Of all the things, Gray couldn’t believe he had to point that out.

“Worry not, I’ll give him a brilliant makeover.” The Father’s eyes gleamed with all the ideas he imagined.

“That wasn’t what I was worried about...” He was beginning to doubt it was a good idea to bring the boy here.

He glanced over a couple of steps ahead of them where Juvia sat on her haunches in front of the boy. Their conversation was barely audible from where Gray and Father Block stood.

“But...” the boy squeezed his hands and stared at the ground. “I-I’ve never mixed with people. What if they make fun of me because I-I’m different? What if I don’t fit in?”

“They won’t. The children here would love to be your friends, Juvia knows it.”

“I-I’m scared,” he admitted.

She brushed back the hair from his face and smiled comfortingly at him. “It’s all right to be scared; you’re starting a new adventure. But this time, you won’t be alone. You’ll have friends to cry and laugh with and they will hold your hand.” She gently held his small hand in hers. “You’ll be all right. Juvia promises there will be happy times ahead.”

Tears began to well in his pure, innocent eyes as he stared at her. Swallowing back his tears, the boy nodded his head at her. She gave him a proud smile and hugged him.

Gray could feel his cold heart thawing in his chest as he watched them. Juvia was by far the most caring person he’d ever met. They were polar opposites – Juvia and him. Where he preferred to withhold from affectionate gestures, she went out of her way to express her love. Where he was an arse who chased people away with his frigid behaviour, she was the loving person whose presence was the glorious light after the spring rain.

Gray didn’t know what she saw in him to have stuck by him despite his coldness. What did I do to deserve her?

When he pondered about it, he realised they weren’t that different from Laxus and Mira in that regard. However, in their case, he couldn’t understand why sweet Mira put up with the lightning bastard. Gray was an arse – with how openly he displayed it, one could even say he was proud of it – but even he wasn’t as big of a smug arse as Laxus. He snickered. Both of us don’t deserve our woman.

Juvia led the boy back to Father Block. Unlike the scared and withdrawn child he was all along, the boy seemed to have abandoned some of his fears as he held his head up. He appeared the most confident Gray had ever seen him. Must have been Juvia.

“We’re leaving him in your care then, Father,” Gray said.

“We will take good care of him,” the priest replied. He offered his hand to the boy who promptly took it. Without hesitation, Gray noted.

“O-one thing...” the boy braced himself to look at Gray in the eye. “I-I hope I will be like you one day.”

Caught by surprise at his admission, he stiffened in his posture. Be like me?

“I want to be s-someone who protects the weak, just like you.”

Stunned, Gray was rendered speechless for a few moments before he blinked out of it. He ruffled the boy’s hair and gave him a small smile. “You should stop by Fairy Tail sometime. We can teach you magic.”

“Gray-sama’s right! You can play with Wendy-san too.”

“Ah, Wendy. The children had so much fun with her the other day,” the priest reminisced.

The boy’s eyes widened in wonder at the prospect. “Mmh!” he uttered in agreement, nodding excitedly.

--------------------

Having said their goodbyes to Father Block and the boy, Gray strolled alongside Juvia with his hands deep in his pockets. He anchored his attention on the ground. There were certain things which had been bothering his mind. Once they were a safe distance from the church, he mustered the courage to voice his concerns.

“Do...do you think I’m a good role model, Juvia? If I had a kid, would I be a good father?” he blurted out.

“Gray-sama.” Her voice was suddenly serious. She turned to fix her kind gaze on him and smiled. “Gray-sama is already a good man. Gray-sama would be a good father as well, just like father-in-law.”

Tensing at the mention of his father, he suddenly halted in his steps. The memories he had of his father played in his mind – how he felt on top of the world when Silver sat him on his broad shoulders, the snowball fights they had in the snow, and his dad’s boisterous laughter filling the walls of their home.

His heart constricted painfully in his chest. The time he spent with his father was achingly short.

Yet, despite having so little time together, Gray remembered he felt safe with him. If he was afraid to try out a new thing, or if the past was caging him in a mental prison, Silver always nudged him forward into the future. Most importantly, he believed in Gray.

In short, Silver was both an outstanding father and an honourable man.

Gray wasn’t sure if he could be as good as his dad – or if he was good enough for anyone to look up to him.

“You think so?” His uncertainty leaked into his voice.

She smiled confidently at him. “Juvia is certain. Gray-sama is Gray-sama after all.”

Staring at her with in stunned silence, he allowed himself to feel her faith washing over him. It seeped into every fibre of his being and cleansed his doubts, instilling confidence in their place.

The corners of his mouth curved up slightly in a rare display of a soft smile.

Recalling how she comforted the scared child earlier, he inhaled in some courage to say his thoughts out loud. Say it, you idiot. He forced his next words out.

“I-I think you’d be a good mum too, Juvia,” he said awkwardly with slight heat in his cheeks.

“Gray-sama!” she exclaimed, shocked. She stared him with a luminous glow of happiness in her eyes.

Shit. He was glad that the attention was diverted from his feelings of inadequacy, but her daydreaming posed another headache. Her wildly exaggerated ideas could get out of hand quickly.

Gray immediately took a deep breath. He sent up a quick prayer to whichever god was listening to save him.

“Juvia would be happy to have Gray-sama’s baby,” she said dreamily. She clung to him, lost in her own world.

Flustered by her sudden change in demeanour, he stumbled sideways with Juvia still clutching his arm tightly. The colour in his cheeks rivalled the bright hue of the sunset sky.

“I never said that!” They were on entirely different wavelengths.

“There’s no need to be shy, Gray-sama. Juvia understands.”

“The hell you do!” He didn’t want to know what exactly she understood.

“How many children does Gray-sama wants?”

“None!”

“But Gray-sama, we have to get married first. When is our wedding date?”

He didn’t bother trying to correct her by that point. She was too far gone to hear his words properly. Mavis knows how she’ll interpret whatever he would say.

The gods must be having the time of their lives watching his torture. Curse them, he thought with a faint smile on his face.