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keyofjetwolf · 4 years ago

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Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 3)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

SURPRISE EVERYONE WHO ANSWERED THIS ONE GETS AN ENTRY (with extra entry if you pulled a specific line). This has been such a struggle for me for the past ... you know, million years or something, and each of you made me feel so good, thank you. ♥

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Q: This is reaching back into the memory a bit, I know, but what's your favourite of my fanfic? (BONUS BONUS ENTRY if you pull a specific line!)

* i cannot remember a specific line off the top of my head but i remember the post-S series dealing with usagi's trauma from pharaoh 90 (sound of silence?) was a gut punch and a half -- anewconstellation

* "Blue shirt. Pearl buttons." I think this was the first time I read you writing the Outers, particularly Neptune and Uranus, and, uh, holy shit. Absolutely note-perfect dialogue and dynamic, particularly for that period of Sailor Moon S when Michiru and Haruka used intimacy of speech and gesture as an instrument of distancing and obfuscation (of their goals to the Inners, of their hearts to themselves and to each other, of the heli-pad to the staff at Mugen Academy, etc). It was so clear, and so clearly *them* that I could actually hear the intonations of their respective seiyuu. And then to deploy such spot-on character elements in combination with the stakes and the maturity the anime never reached for, my WORD, are you trying to kill me??? The pacing, the restraint! What an absolute gift. You're a wonder. (also your drabbles are fuckin peerless, and the BTL concept is such a clever series framework) -- @rasiqra-revulva

* This was so hard to pick from, but I finally settled on "Cause and Affect" - it's such a heartbreaking story, but the juxtaposition between the clinical lines of information from the computer to the memories Ami is dealing with to the horror of the visuals around her... it's so bright and sharp and PRESENT. It keeps me in the story, that mix of tones and feelings. And the final line? Perfection. "Number of regrets: none" What an amazing take on Ami and how she processes information and how she deals with the situation she is in. I still get chills up my back when I read the story. -- @amberlilly

* I love your Between the Lines series, it's how I found your Tumblr and liveblogs back in the day -- @amboato

* Author Alert. “So never, ever, going to live this down.” -- @crunchbuttsteak

* "Of her word" quote "But for all that, it remained sand. Rei erased it with one swipe." -- Dei

* Between The Lines. Adding further character/emotional depth to canon is YES PLZ. I really liked the whole idea of Usagi having trauma post-Pharaoh 90 and all the chapters that hit on that. On a less serious note Chibs' circus-related PTSD and freaking out when Hotaru wants to go to the circus kills me every time. ("But your precious dreams Hotaru-chan!") -- forgottenfae

* This is probably the obvious choice, but "The Sounds of The Silence" has haunted me in all the best ways since I first read it. The way you write Rei, Usagi, and Rei and Usagi hits me right in the heart every time. This particular fic, with Usagi so traumatized, and Rei being as soft and gentle as Usagi needs, will always stick with me. I pulled up the fic to try and narrow down a single line, and ultimately there's no real debate. "She would never stop trying to do more, but for now, she simply did this." That line is, at its core, the essence of Rei Hino. And it is perfection. -- gatorsandglitter

* I don't expect this to win at all, just sharing,, but I just super fondly remembered the goggles and all the amazing content, meta, and fic those inspired, both from you and others -- @goosebytrade

* "You Win or You Die" my favorite line is "She and Rei WOULD have The Moment, they WOULD get their thousand years of bliss, and they WOULD be making out after all this was over. Like, SO HARD." -- @i-needa-nap-please

* I'm always really bad at answering questions like this because my mind has pretty much become a goldfish in my old age and I have a hard time remembering specific fics; it all sort of starts to jumble up in my brain and things get lost. But I have always loved reading your writing, it's what got me onto this godforsaken website in the first place -- it was just before Crystal dropped, and we were all foolishly full of hope and excitement, and you were going through the Moon Pride video and waxing poetic about the FRIENDSHIPS and I was like, "YES! Finally! Someone who understands why I love this stupid kids' show!" I think I sent you an ask saying this before, (but who knows if you ever got it, Tumblrs being what they are - indifferent) but I tried reading fanfic and even published novels based on properties, like the Buffy novels and Star Trek and Star Wars novels, for a long time, and mostly found it frustrating and annoying and just... wrong. It always had this awkwardness and clunkiness to it that didn't do anything for me and just constantly screamed "THIS IS A FANFIC IT IS NOT REAL WRITING" at me. Didn't like it. But, I liked yours. Yours didn't feel awkward or clunky. You have never written any sentences like, "Rei watched the blonde stand up" where "the blonde" is Minako, and I don't know why fanfic writers think that calling characters "the blonde" or "the redhead" or whatever is sexy or cute but it ain't (sorry, pet peeve tangent). So, when you were writing stuff more, I would read it like it was going out of style, and you led me to Doc's writing, which had the same natural, "this is real writing" quality, and I loved hers, too. Anyway, my favorites of yours have always been the Between the Lines stuff. I just love the "hidden" moments that we didn't get to see. The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead bits of Sailor Moon (speaking of fanfic that actually works) that bring so much depth to characters we know and love already or to characters we see only briefly. Also, the Shadow Senshi, because FUCK. Just... Kill Me. In any event, I know that writing has been difficult for you of late, and I know how that feels, so I hope that people who are actually able to answer this question have given you some places to go and draw strength from so that it can become part of your life again. TBH, I've been using the bonus questions on your Giftening surveys and Doc's 8 Days surveys as an excuse to try doing some small bits of quick, no pressure, nobody's gonna see it unless you or Doc actually LIKE it, don't think about it writing, and it has been helpful. I hope you can find something that gives you the same opportunity. Now that I've written you a novel that doesn't even answer the question you asked (goldfish, remember? *sigh*), have a gorgeous Tuesday! -- @incorrecttact

* The one with Pluto and Queen Serenity, where Serenity is selfish in a very Usagi way, but her arrogance combined with that selfishness makes it a fatal flaw? I liked that one a lot. -- Jules

* the bit you wrote to 'fill in' a gap for why during r did mamoru act like a distant jerk. My favourite parts were Rei coming to see the same dream, and despite being the one to have the biggest reason to believe in these kinds of prophetic visions, Rei still doesn't believe fate is set in stone. -- just... a fan. a well-baked one

* Make It To New Year's -- @kaleidodreams

* ahhh, where is a link to all of your fanfic? It's the series you started after S, with Rei comforting Usagi, because like you I was let down by the fact that they never followed up on what Usagi saw, or even how she dealt, with the end of S. runner up: the one where Usagi is about to give birth because everything you write with Rei and Usagi is amazing. -- kari

* There was a drabble/draft/something that you used one of my prompts for, and I prompted you with Usagi and Rei, but you did it from Luna's perspective and THAT WAS SO UNEXPECTED and it turned out SO GOOD cause like!!!!!! You made Sailor Moon both someone Luna cares for, because still the legacy of the moon, and someone utterly discouraging for her because *this should not be*, and wow what a way to make it both about Usagi herself and about her powers. -- katrani

* I love the btl fics, they fill in the missing gaps, add depth to the story, and sometimes smooth over things (SuperS) when canon is just...blah. One line I really liked was: “I was listening, at first, but then I started thinking about how hungry I was, and how a pork bun would be really good right now, and then I wondered what makes a thing a bun, and like, if you put ANYTHING in a bun, does it become a Thing-Bun, so could you make a bun out of another bun and would it be a Bun Bun, and wouldn’t that be the greatest thing to– Rei?” It's a great run-on, stream of thought sentence that just really catches Usagi's voice, is hilarious, and such a natural progression. -- @kumeko

* “HUG,” Usagi demanded again, because dammit, she’d been promised a hug and SOMEONE was going to deliver. (The one where Michiru has the hiccups. Because it's fun HaruMichi stuff, because it weaponises Usagi in a useful way, because it manages to (gently) make fun of both perfect!Michiru and saint!Usagi without being mean to either character, and also because I get hiccups a lot and I haaaaate them.) -- nerdy-flutterings

* I can't remember a specific fic, but I LOVE your Shadow Senshi headcanons and they're the main reason I started writing my own Shadow Senshi stories. -- @notesfromtheidiotbox

* The Figuarts saga is the Sailor Moon fic I never knew I needed -- Raye

* Special Delivery is a delight. So much Rei Certainty (that ends up being misplaced). So much Usagi being The Most Usagi About Pregnancy. So much Comedic Hijinks, because why the hell WOULDN’T ‘the Senshi get blindsided when Usagi goes into labor’ end up going full screwball? There’s a lot of great lines there (Rei’s theory about Chibs taking control of the Gate of Time and manipulating things is fantastic, as is the ending,) but my favorite is definitely “Rei Hino if I give birth to my daughter on the side of the road I swear I will go back in time and tear all the pages out of your favorite coloring book! [...] I’ll break the crayons too, Rei-chan!” Delightfully specific and childish, especially since Usagi sticks with it, and that particular brand of comic specificity is definitely a highlight of yours. -- Regalli

* Fire on Mountain!!! When I got to “Her voice was deeper than most expected when facing the certainty of her. It was rough, sandpaper running over cherry. She’d been a singer, once. Nobody would have believed her.” I was like oh. OH! -- Sasha

* My favorite of your fanfic, one one of the first I read is 'Hard to Break'. And my absolute favorite line is Usagi's panic when Minako tries to smoke: "Minako who was almost certainly dying, the cigarette had spread its evil and killed her instantly oh god." -- @shavedjudomonkey

* Tonight Ami would grieve, and wish she understood why.' This Between the Lines about Ami getting her mini computer both haunts me and brings tears to my eyes. -- @shonasof

* I can't remember the title, but it's the one where Minako realizes that Rei's been writing Sailor V fanfic under the name Red Bow -- Somariel

* You would think Mako-chan's Happy Ending, but nope, this one goes to Hard to Break (although I had to look up the exact name.) This thing is filled with such great lines. How am I supposed to pick out one? "[Watch out, boys,]" Minako said in smooth and entirely unnecessary English. "[Lady Super Cool is on the prowl.]" -- Ultrace

* I forget the title, but it's the 'last senshi standing' fic where Ami is reflecting on the battle that took the others from her. Detatched and cold as she analyzes Rei Minako and Mako and finally Usagi's death with a medical efficiency, going through her Visors readout and then reflecting that the clinical words were nothing compared to what she'd actually seen. following up the method of death of the senshi with a statistic in relation to her friendship with the girl. Number of milkshakes shared, number of conversations lasting well into the night, number of hugs, number of smiles that brightened the darkest of moods. Describing how Rei's heart was pulped in a monster's grip, Minako's once beautiful face smashed against the rocks, Mako's lightning that outlived its mistress as she and Usagi ran off, and then finally that one last attempt to protect Usagi failing as 'Cervical Fracture' flashes on her visor. And From there she just... accepts death. sitting beside where Usagi had fallen and waiting for the end. it's dark af but it's the first one that always comes to mind when i think about ur fics :> -- Vega

* I am extremely predictable here with two of my choices, as you know that I am obsessed with Fire on the Mountain and Blue Shirt, two things you wrote when you "definitely couldn't write" (Sidenote: My new year's resolution is to be harder on your about writing) We all know why I love blue shirt, it's basically an underhand pitch to the face for me, but Fire on the Mountain has a quality of regret and longing that I really connected with, something that really struck me in a way that was powerful. It's different from a lot of your inners work, and I think about Mina posing as Rei, in her disguise magic in the woods, and all the reasons why, fairly often. Something that MAY come as a surprise to you, is I really wish we got more ofyour overwatch stuff, and maybe I'll just keep asking for this for my birthday for the rest of our natural lives, but I think of like, the one you wrote on 7/14/20, with Pharah longing to have a man to shoot in the face because that would be easier than the emotions around whatever's going on with her, and I'm utterly tantalized. And I loved that hurt/comfort you wrote for me, where Pharah had this single minded drive to find out what had happened to Angela, and Tracer's trying to, well, comfort her, on some level, and the way you described Pharah's "animal cry" was FANTASTIC, and as always I am deeply jealous of your Tracer voice and IF YOU WOULD WRITE IT MORE IT WOULD HELP ME. -- WRITE, BITCH.

* The one were Hotaru confronted Michiru and Haruka about how they had tried to kill her in order to stop the Silence. Such a good little moment =w= -- zorrito

AND THEN THESE WERE UNSIGNED SAD FACE

* Chosen. I like your Overwatch stuff but Chosen was a goddamn masterpiece.

* Operation: Heart Angels. Senshi going after Mamoru for his bullshit was something I didn't know I needed.

* The entirety of Beggars Would Ride, including every single line of Anya's dialogue.

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I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.

#THE GIFTENING 2020 #THE GIFTENING 2020 admin stuff #THE GIFTENING 2020 bonus q #in which jw gets a fuzzy #jw writes stuff

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anonil88 · 5 years ago

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The L word Gen Q Episode 4 spoilers

I am hella annoyed with Bette

SHANES WIFE IS HOT HOT and all that energy like if I was shane I'd be doing everything in my power to not loose my wife. Excuse me.

Come on bih shes a priest not a nun

Shane is 40 and a hot ass mess.

When she's upset but still wakes you up with morning kisses. Sophni is so cute.

Dating can be fun and healthy with the right amount of effort Fin.

That latte looked so good.

Alice looking like a gay ass peep. Bette been fucking and they all know especially Shane's thot ass. Alice's outfit is something I would honestly wear though especially with the backpack

Awwwwwwwww Dana's

40 year old moms taking a selfie.

*sips tea* Tess deserves better and I'm not saying that just because I love the actress. Tess does not seem checked out of her partnership completely as much as her partner said and that smells fishy to me. Even if she is just be honest.

Yea Bette you dumb ass being irresponsible af. If you are going to have an affair be discreet and not so disorganized, you'd think she would of learned from cheating on her long term partners multiple times. Also if her husband is her lockscreen I kinda doubt that divorce is happening anytime soon.

I stan Dani.

Step mom Alice is dope, Nat is hot, her ex partner also hot..... that's was pretty borderline racist and they both said

Dani is so damn foine.

I love seeing Bette with a black woman but Felicity is also daft as hell.

Drew....has a point. There should be a mix of both sides questions.

Dani 👏😩 yes drag Bette please

Kit 😭😭😭 fuck this show. I'm hurt. 😭

Thank You Dani.

Alice's show is...... DID THIS MAN NAME HIS HORSE HARRIET TUBMAN, all the black people said what the fuck.

I hope this reporter writes a good article.

Aww they are so cute ugh universe send me a bb who wants to relax in the tub with me after a stressful workday. Also, I do not think I have seen boobs like mine on tv before, like not perky with brown nip nops. Dani and Sophie are so cute and foine together.

Plenty of mayors and what not in legal and decriminalized states smoke weed.

Kate Moenning's arms are 😍 like omg

Sativa be making you active af and super talkative. This bih high as a damn kite.

Oh it's just that she doesn't want kids....I know that's a big thing but maybe because I'm polya I'm just like is it. Then again I'm very much a firm believer in I'm gonna be a great aunt/uncle but not a parent maybe a step parent but that's just me. Now if the world becomes shangrila and I'm rich af then I will pop out 1.

Of course a party and cross fading is not the wave. This part seems lit.

Dani is baby Bette but better and I love it.

I do not want to see Lena's face again tbh. Awww Tess no 😭.

Finley go get your boo be safe lil drunkie.

Aww tipsy ass Alice and Gigi. They are honestly co-parenting, super fucking well and fast, unlike young tibette. Alice queen of queer and awkward hot chemistry with her girlfriend and her girlfriend's ex partner. Oop eye fucking.

Yay a good article.

Finley finna pour her little drunk guts out to her lil girlfriend. Ouch that was pretty dismissive Fin...dayummm

Wait DATED? Oop new boy picked up that house manager is jelly.

The sexual energy everyone is giving off is making it hard for me to focus.

Whew I'm glad Tess saw Shane push her away, whew. Fuck you Lena.

Alice said I'm about it if you are. Gigi and Alice's kiss 🔥. This threesome is 😩.

Let's goooo boys.

Dani and Sophie are 🔥 they said we needa go this dancefloor is about to turn into a damn slip and slide.

Aww Tess my fucking heart, she just wants to know the truth. So this bitch been cheating are you fucking kidding me and then had the audacity to lie to Shane. Oh hell no. Lena ain't shit.

I love how they all came back with post sex hair lmao.

Her wife 😍.

Preview:

Two threesomes oop, I'd kill for some healthy polyamory.

Yea Fin you kinda fucked that one up. Go do some soul searching.

Bih it's too fast to be saying I love you but also I get saying it in a non intense way I guess.

FIGHT FOR WHAT BEING A SIDE HO?

#the l word spoilers #the l word lb #the l word generation q #the l word #showtime

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whatadaze · 5 years ago

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can you do a recap of how you thought wtfock s2 was? and the last episode more specifically!

okokokokokok i just finished wtfock so my thoughts are FRESH

(also a lot of my thoughts have probably already been said bc i’m late lol)

ok so s2 in general was super well done. i really liked it! i went into this season pretty late (i think it was hell week when i started) + i didn’t have super high expectations. one major reason was because i thought zoenne was a carbon copy of noorhlem (physically) and it bothered me. lol like idk why it bothered me so much but in my head i was like ugh it’s gonna be noohrlem 2.0 haha and i shouldn’t have thought that way because i genuinely enjoyed season 1 of wtfock haha but newayz, after skamnl ended i was like i needa watch something so i caved one night + started s2 and i was pleasantly surprised! i was like, huh this is actually pretty good? and dare i say it...better than skam’s s2? like, i still think overall it is a pretty close copy of skam but they add little things here + there that made such a huge difference. ALSO, can we just take a moment to mention how much of a difference having a large budget can make? literally, wtfock FED us with every episode with their long ass clips + multiple clip drops. THAT is what made such a difference in this season. they were able to add 1-2 minute clips that helped develop zoenne’s relationship, while also getting into zoe’s mind and seeing how + why she falls in love with senne. it’s not this insta-love thing where zoe hates him one second and likes him the next. i also loved the girl squad even more this season. i liked how they included all those bits of them studying together while zoe was struggling with what happened to her + when she finally told them, i was a wreck. veerle is such an amazing actress + i hope to see her in more stuff in the future (i’m not sure if she’s trying to seriously pursue a career in acting but she def has my support lol)

as far as the last episode, i loved it. i’d even say it’s the strongest of all the remakes. they added everything that needed to be added (like senne TAKING ZOE TO THE POLICE LIKE OMG) and also, i like how they had zoe ask senne to move in with her. that was a really nice change + it makes me wonder what they’ll do for s3. i can’t see zoe and senne having that same noorhelm drama, especially if they are together at her place? idk haha maybe living together will create some drama but i hope not. OH and when that whole thing with robbe + milan happened i was like “and i oop-”

like whaaaat i mean, we don’t know the whole story but i was like w h y .. . . . . . . haha and also, the boy squad...i’m still eh about them tbh currently, they are my least favorite. i hope that my view changes but for now...it’s not looking so great lol like...robbe deserves better friends, and now this happened with his future love guru. and if senne moves in with zoe does that mean robbe isn’t? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. but fortunately, wtfock renewed for a season 3 so all these questions will be answered.

so anyway, my takeaway,

i like wtfock. it’s a decent remake + is able to have a similar vibe to skam while also being its own thing. i wouldn’t go so far and say it’s perfect, but nothing is perfect and overall it is a super strong remake. i get why it’s so popular in belgium and i’m glad that they are able to have a large fanbase + budget lol it definitely helps when it comes to storytelling, adding bomb music, and the long ass episodes.

i’m probably missing some things but this is all i can think of right now as far as my opinions on this season + the last episode! what were your thoughts on it? did you like it? hate it? lemme know :-)

#wtfock

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gg-astrology · 6 years ago

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Hello hello!! ✨✨ Nita, hope you’re feeling better and having a nice day/night! it’s been a while since the last ask, so I’m here with a new question! I want to know like what kind of accessories do you think the signs love the most- like I really really love watches! But I have a heavy Capricorn influence so it makes sense! Don’t give it much thought and just write the first thing that comes to your mind! 😉 It’s just for fun!

Hello Bere!!! 💕💕💕💕💕 I finally got time to answer this ahsajhab 💕💕 I’ve been wanting to answer this for a while!! 💕💕

Note: accessories for me is more like, something you keep on your person. And this is like…. not official??? cause I don’t know much about accessories I literally only keep a few hair bands on me and im allergic to most metal skdjnf so don’t take this srsly maybe

Aries - hair tie or something to just… push their hair away, hat if you forgot it exists skdjnksnks if you’re a person who thinks you don’t look in hats. Mayhaps consider bandana or glasses or something to just, keep ur hair from falling into ur face when u needa work

Taurus - Glasses ksjdfnksjn im kidding! But mayhaps if they remember to bring their sunglasses (and USE THEM) life will get a little better for them

Gemini - Earrings, bracelets, necklace. I was thinking of??? phone??? not really necessary but like,,, stop running away from keeping in contact w/ people or internet stuff bc u have periods where youre ON it and then OFF so jus try to see why you do that/if youre running away from something as well (or ‘catching a break’ as they like to call it)

Cancer - An… outer-layer, outer-wear? Depends on where they are tbh. But something /on/ them. 2 pouches or something. Or could be like… photos or something of sentiments on their person (receipts, tickets, etc.)

Leo - comfortable shoes?? if they’re already wearing ‘em, but comfortable something. Pants, shirt, clothes, anything. This is less about atheleisure and more about actually being comfortable.

Virgo - Wallet. sjdnfksnkns it’s not like an eSSENTIAL but its like…something that they might assume they’ll need as they go out. Most of the time they might go like ‘oh i don’t need it’ and forgot it at home though. So this is more of a reminder to keep ur wallet w/ u because u keep not having it when u need something (also keep changes, coins, u’ll need them more than you think!!!)

Libra - idk why i keep thinking of pets… not that they ‘accessorize’ or keep pets with them but more like. It’s not something they see often so they just gush over them a lil when they do. Umm in terms of accessories if they’re religious in any way they keep that with them? If not then it’s most likely they would rather accessorize/customize their objects. Like laptop, phone, wallet, room, bullet journal or something. Some prefers more like, efficient and sleek style (less accessorizing) but some could also go for like, a very specific preference that they have. It depends on the person.

Scorpio - More likely bracelets or like something of sentiments. It’s not like they don’t have new stuff but like, they want you to see what they have and like, show it off to you sometimes. Like, ‘see this is our thing and im wearing it bc i really love it’ or atleast thats to me?? Wear it at a social gathering. Uhhhhh…. idk do they have a permanent accessory??

Sagittarius - something simple, low-maintenance. If they do wear accessories then something like a bracelet or necklace or earrings. Most likely simple, beaded, braided or just… nice? Something they can just put on and then BOOP enhances their aes today or like, doesn’t get in their way. Probably forgot to take it off so they just… keep it on (low maintenance)

Capricorn - A bag. To put on their lap. Being over-prepared is better than underprepared. So sometimes 2 of the same things (for me it’s lipsticks).

Aquarius - they come already looking accessorize head to toe so idk with them sometimes. If you’re looking for further accessory then maybe a fake tattoo, tattoo or henna skdjnsknk idk i usually describe the way Aquarius accessorize as like… delicate and detail-oriented. Every bit is thought out so it can look cohesive tgt.

Pisces - Notebook or stationary, or like something to /do/– guitar pick or something they picked up, maybe even sometimes something that?? they might not need where they’re going but they brought the wrong bag so now they just carry around ksnfksnns

Also as a capricorn I have like 4 clocks around my room but none of them works except for 1 ksjnfjksnkn

#astrology asks #bono-boox-heart #asks

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crowshira · 5 years ago

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1-47? Or whatever questions you like?

Y’know, I got time.

I’m good with doing all of them, so bet. >:)

leggo!!

1) Do you want a girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other?

I have a datemate already, lol (i wuvva them so much uwu).

2) When did your last hug take place?

Uh. Probably today lol. Then again, the last hug I did was when I hugged a cat this morning, so,,, yep lol

3) Are you a jealous person?

When it comes to physical possessions, no. When it comes to my significant other…. Yea…

4) Are you tired right now?

Am I ever not tired lmao

5) Do you chew on your straws?

Oh >.> Yeah actually lol. Better than grinding my teeth because I’m bored tho

6) Have you ever been called a tease?

...no :v

nods

moving on

7) Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Yep! My record for longest time w/o sleep is almost 4 days!!

8) Do you cry easily?

No, and sometimes I wish that wasn’t the case :P

9) What should you be doing right now?

I have no clue lol

10) Are you a heavy sleeper?

Yea… I have like- 9 alarms and have managed to sleep through them all some days

11) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

It depends on who I’m with and how they are. My current relationship has been going almost 9 months and counting tho ^^

12) Are you mad at someone right now?

Not mad exactly, but there are a few people I dislike pfft

Otherwise, im oki

13) Do you believe in love?

Yep .3.

14) What makes you laugh no matter what?

The dumb talks I have with my friends sometimes pff

15) Who was the last person you talked to?

Mi father :vv

16) Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

Actually << no :v when im with them, thats tbh when i feel very very comfortable

17) Will you get married?

tbh i rly hope to wif mi s/o >>

18) When was the last time you smiled?

and i noticed? maybe last night uwu

19) Does anyone like you?

you can say that .3. err well, i hope so LOL

20) Do you secretly like someone?

i dun needa secretly like someone cuz i already have someone to publicly like :v

21) Who was the first person you talked to today?

mi s/o uwu we woke up on a facetime

22) Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

whaaaaaaaale, mi s/o, mi friends, yknow

23) What are you NOT looking forward to?

...college, but not because of the work or difficulty

24) What ARE you looking forward to?

Transferring from my community college to my college of choice in two years :vv

25) Has someone ever told you they loved you and meant it?

yep lol

26) Suppose you see your ex kissing another person. What would you do?

welllll, if it were mi current s/o, probably cry and die on the inside but accept that thats how it is sometimes x.x

27) Do you plan on moving out in the next year?

i have no clue lol. its kinda useless to dorm at my community college since i live p close

28) Are you a forgiving person?

for the most part, yea lol ive given people hella chances before

29) How many TRUE friends do you have?

im gonna say,,, 5?? 6??? i’unno

30) Do you fall for people easily?

Not easily, maybe,,, moderately??

31) Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

wh- ._. no wth

32) What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

MY DI- i mean, m&ms

33) Who was the last person you drove with?

mi father :v

34) How late did you stay up last night and why?

Slept at 2:45am-ish because was watching movies and facetiming wif mi s/o uwu

35) If you could move somewhere else, would you?

oh- thats- thats tough. maybe??

36) Who was the last person you took a picture of?

...me

lol

37) Can you live a day without TV?

dude i barely watch TV anymore lol

38) When was the last time you were really disappointed?

A few days ago LOL

39) Three names you go by?

Tristan, Tris, Trist

40) Are you currently in a relationship?

yep ^^ 9 months and counting yo

41) What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

...five feet apart was good

but ah-

idk thats the only romance film i can remember

42) Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate?

I actually believe people can have multiple soulmates

for one, theres poly relationships

and two, just- people have soulmates that help them grow and change as a person permanently imo

43) What’s your current problem?

uhm. anxiety mostly.

44) Have you ever had your heart broken?

y e s. that shit hurt LOL

45) Your thoughts on long distance relationships?

I may be in one for the next two years. All I can say is : they can work out if all parties are willing to dedicate themselves and be true to each other.

46) Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

dude heck yea

the only serious relationship ive ever been in (this one), my s/o was the one that confessed first LOL so- yea

im too shy .///.

and thats all of it!! pff

1 note · View note

haruki-ya · 6 years ago

Text

A Place to Crash (And Burn)

Summary: Kai and Kaneda yell at each other a little bit and cry over cry baby Tetsuo. There’s lots more to it than that, but like kinda a lot....so read on if you truly dare.

A/N: REPOSTING this cause fuck it y not I ain’t ever gonna be fully happy with anything I write and I must come to terms with that by EMBRACING the ART of IMPERFECTION. She a thicc one tbh, close to 7,000 words wow (do u see why i said read on if u dare), but from a new character perspective that I was hesitant to try writing in and have @fridge-04 and @totallylegitakirafic to thank for so hey! thank you ! I think my attempt turned out all right! also totallylegit, can you spy with your little eye the Makiko reference? lol enjoy my LOVES <3

Kai couldn’t really say the loud knocking on his door at one in the morning woke him up because he had already been awake, lying in bed in the dark thinking about things of the past.

It had been a rough week, a sleepless week. One spent mourning a death that others celebrated. One spent missing a friend who others considered an enemy. Kai doesn't think there will be any closure for the surviving townspeople any time soon, even three years after the great fall of Neo Tokyo.

Most of their homes are still in shambles and they like to be angry anyway. Kai will admit it’s a more fulfilling emotion than hopelessness.

Kai waits a minute before rolling out of bed. There are only a handful of people who would come knocking on his door at this hour, but that means they’re familiar enough to know he likes to end his night early to start his day earlier. So whoever this is must not care or must know that he’s not sleeping. Or it’s an important matter, but that’s pretty unlikely.

As Kai stumbles through the dark of his loft towards the door, tripping over stray clothes and a stack of old newspapers, he hears voices from the outside. Kei’s annoyed tone rings out strong.

“...come on, I can’t entertain this behavior tonight. I’ve got to meet up with Chiyoko soon, you know that Kaneda.” There’s a mumbled response that Kai doesn’t catch, probably from Kaneda, as he opens the door to a sight that he isn’t really surprised to see.

Kei is dressed in cool, neutral tones and struggling to hold up the swaying form of Kaneda, who reeks of booze and cigarette smoke under her arm, obviously more fucked up than he’s been in a while. Her face is steely with annoyance under the brim of her cap, but when her eyes meet his there is a poorly concealed concern that makes Kai sigh suddenly and drop his shoulders. There’s also a badly hidden plea for help.

“Hello Kai. I really hate to ask this, but can you look after him for a while?”

“Uh…what?” Is the most eloquent response Kai can manage. Kaneda’s stilted voice cuts in before Kai can properly respond, but to be fair he doesn't even really know what to say.

“M’fine Kei, I don’t needa be babysat by a kid.” And that kinda stings, cause hello to you too asshole, and he’s younger than Kaneda sure, but he usually acts more mature than his childish ass and the digs at his age have been few and far in between since Yamagata passed...since the Capsules fell apart. Kai only manages to be annoyed by the comment.

Kei swats Kaneda over the head and pushes him against the wall next to Kai’s door, anger bursting across her face. Kaneda rubs at his head and tries to straighten to his full height and glare at Kei, but his gaze is unfocused and more squinted in what Kai would assume is pain than anger. Kai narrows his eyes at them and stifles a yawn suddenly behind his hand, unimpressed with their familiar antics. If they came all the way here to bother him, they're off to a good start.

“Cut it out Kaneda! I’ve had it with your bullshit attitude this week. I know things are tough for you right now, but that’s no excuse to treat your friends like garbage just to make yourself feel better!” Kei turns on Kai before Kaneda gears up to answer and ignores whatever he mumbles under his breath. It sounds suspiciously like “bitch” to Kai and now he kinda understands Kei's anger. He’s never stooped so low as to glare so fiercely at her while saying that. Kai is becoming more and more confused.

“I need to meet Chiyoko and the others, an emergency meetings been called. Some cultists have been gathering around the old stadium and rumor has it they’re planning something there during daylight. I can’t be dragging his drunk weight with me, he’ll only slow me down and annoy me to death before we’d arrive.” Kaneda snorts and pushes up from the wall and brushes past Kai into his dark apartment, cursing when he trips over something that clatters loudly. Kei’s eyes don’t leave his face, but the sharpness of her gaze wavers.

This is gonna be fun.

“Uh… so your first thought was to dump him on me? ” Kai's response is more of a statement than a question really. He's still kind of lost to this whole situation. It’s been a while since he’s seen Kaneda or Kei, though they’re practically a package deal now a days, and while he is glad to see them, always, part of him also feels bitter for being left out of their orbit for this long and suddenly be expected to so easily be pulled right back into it.

Ever since the distance started growing between Kai and Kaneda, and subsequently Kei too, he's dedicated more and more of his time to volunteering around the city doing odd jobs for people: moving rubble, cleaning up trash, helping deliver food. He does it in the hopes that maybe his dedicated efforts as one will equal out to the prior three. Kai hangs out at a friend of Joker’s shop in his spare time too and does his best to learn from the mechanic, but much of the slang Joker and his pals use still goes over his head. His habit of journaling and note taking has helped greatly though, a by product of an overactive brain and an inability to keep details oriented. Kaneda could probably benefit from that too.

Kaneda and Kei used to volunteer with him, used to stay over all the time and help at the local shelter down the block from Kai’s apartment, but when the power was restored to all the remaining blacked out city blocks and a semblance of order returned to the city, Kei’s Rebel group was quick to get in touch and reignite their cause. Kei didn’t really ask Kaneda to join her, or become what many call her right hand man, but he rose to the occasion better than anyone could have expected. Kai never got a formal invitation to join their ragtag team of rebels either, but he would have politely declined any how. He’s had enough action for a lifetime thank you very much, and he knows he wouldn't have filled any shoes as well as Kaneda could. No surprise there. He's not really bitter about it.

Kaneda is hard to pin down these days, becoming more of a myth than a real man, but where Kei is he’s not far off. She got him involved with many of the old resistance outposts that double as relief shelters, not quite done with their original purpose. As Kei said, there are still people praying to the dead and gone “Lord Akira”. They’re desperate enough to believe that someone with the power to take so much away, to cause so much devastation, can just as easily bring it all back.

If only it were that easy.

They’re relatively harmless, just a scattered group of vagabonds looking for some kind of purpose in this fucked up place, but sometimes they get a little too close to things they shouldn't. Sometimes they wind up in possession of objects that three years ago were dangerous in the wrong hands, fatal in the right ones. The remaining resistance members, as well as the spirited youth who join the cause daily, have taken it upon themselves to squash any and all attempts to get too close to something that can’t simply be reburied in rubble. The emergency meeting must be important.

Today is the third anniversary of Tetsuo’s death after all and cults tend to believe in the religious power of symbolic resurgence.

Kei’s face softens as a light pours out suddenly from somewhere behind him, and her eyes follows suit as they both listen to Kaneda rifle around his fridge, probably looking for more booze. His attitude makes sense now that he's put two and two together, and Kai sighs again, sadly this time. He feels bad all of a sudden for being difficult.

“I’m sorry to come here like this Kai, with him, after we haven’t properly visited in a while...but I think it would be good for him to spend some time with an old friend. Maybe talk about whatever is making him want to drink himself unconscious with someone who can...better understand.”

Kai tries for a smile and it sort of works, despite feeling a little stiff on his face. He feel’s like there’s something else Kei isn’t telling him, another shoe that’s waiting to be dropped. There always is with these two.

Kei’s eyes narrow as the light from the fridge slowly shrinks and Kaneda moves onto his cupboards, opening and closing them a little too loudly for the time of night. Good think this floor of the building is mostly abandoned.

“I don’t trust him alone right now.” She says lowly, and there it is. Kai can’t really blame her and also can't turn either of them away even if he wanted to so he sighs, again, and braces himself against the doorway.

“Yeah, I understand Kei, last year was pretty rough too. We got him through it though, and we, eh...I'll do it again. We always look out for each other after all.” Kei looks relieved by his words but far from consoled. Kaneda trips again in his apartment but looks to have stumbled into a lamp as a minute later light spills out behind him once again. It highlights the conflict on Kei’s face.

“Thank you. I’ll be back sometime in the early afternoon. I owe you one Kai.” He shakes his head at that and sends her a smile.

“No you don’t. He’d do the same for me if he had to. Be safe out there Kei and kick some Akiraist ass for us. ” Kei smiles softly and puts a hand on his shoulder for a moment before turning and walking briskly down the hallway, gone from his sight in just four paces. Leaving him alone with a moody drunk in his apartment.

Right, he should check in on that.

Kai closes the door and takes a moment to brace himself before he turns around into the living room, finds Kaneda sprawled on the futon, one leg hanging off the back, an arm over his eyes. His boots are kicked off haphazardly by the lamp and his jacket a makeshift pillow under his head. His other hand holds a bottle of liquor Kai didn’t even know he had. Leave it to Kaneda to sniff out any hidden spirits.

“Hey. Welcome. Make yourself at home, please I insist.” Kai intones dryly and settles into a sitting position on the floor, back against his makeshift coffee table. Kaneda grunts in reply.

“Long time no see Kaneda. I thought you said you weren’t gonna be a stranger?” Kaneda makes another noncommittal sound before throwing his arm from his face to take a swig of, what is that, aged whiskey? Why does Kai even have that?

“That’s gross, dude. How much have you had to drink today?” Kaneda’s reply is wet and rough.

“Not enough.” And Kai sighs. It had been pretty much the same last year.

The previous anniversary, Kai had met up with Kaneda by chance at some back alley bar downtown. They shared a drink or two (or three) before Kai had managed to coax Kaneda outside for a walk, after letting the numbing buzz of booze kick in of course. While Kai counted that as a win, Kaneda had been plastered at two in the afternoon and adamant against parting with the bottle of brandy he snatched from behind the counter when the barkeep turned his back.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t so successful in coaxing Kaneda to leave the bottle behind.

Any other day, he wouldn't have minded indulging in their old ways of competitive drinking, but something about the idea left a bad taste in his mouth that day. Whether from the memory of vomit or just the thought of who would always be seated by his side for drinking competitions, Kai can't say.

They exchanged laughs and jokes for a while, aimlessly walked through the poorly reconstructed streets before they wandered along the memorial wall of pictures pinned up in the wake of so many deaths.

An unprecedented amount.

Kai had felt nostalgic all day, a heavy feeling that sat in his gut and curbed his smiles a little, and wasn't really bothered to wind up there. His mother had always taught him to pay his respects to the dead anyhow so Kai once again talked Kaneda into a walk, this time along the memorial wall where there was nothing to look at but smiling faces frozen in happiness, endless notes displaying declarations of love and everlasting peace. Vases of flowers, new and old, lined the base of the wall along with a few stuffed animals and makeshift shrines. He had idly thought about how nice it would be to stumble upon the picture he left of him, Kaneda and Yamagata a year prior. That would be something nice to smile about.

The memorial stretched on for what felt like miles, but Kai walked the whole length of it regardless, nodding respectfully to those who passed him by, not noticing Kaneda’s growing silence or the way he had started to slow down in front of Kai. It was easy to get lost in the sea of faces. He had figured Kaneda was simply being contemplative, and well, Kai wasn't wholly wrong.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when he ran into Kaneda’s back and almost knocked over a vase full of wilted flowers trying to stay balanced.

“Let’s make a toast. To those who aren’t here today to drink with us.”

Kaneda’s voice had been rough, almost choked, but Kai couldn’t see his face when he laughed a sour note, when he overturned his bottle of brandy carelessly onto the vase Kai almost broke with it’s sad, dying flowers. They still had meaning, a purpose though, something more grand than being doused in shitty booze.

A significance in their decay.

“A toast to all those sorry bastards who died for nothin’.”

A meaning still in death.

Kai had stood frozen for a moment, not really comprehending what he was seeing, what he was hearing. Looked from the growing puddle of liquor at their feet, to the back of Kaneda’s loud jacket as he suddenly jolted into movement and tucked into an alley off to their left. Kai didn’t move until the now empty bottle Kaneda had been holding smashed into the alley wall, breaking into shards of glimmering glass that crunched loudly under his feet. Kai startled and felt something unpleasant bubble hot under his skin, coil tight in his gut.

It was rage.

“What the fuck!” Kai had run after Kaneda when the cold disbelief drained from his body and the hot fury replaced it. He noticed, a little too late, the stagger to Kaneda’s step, the sluggishness in his pace. The tell tale signs of someone too far gone to care about their actions.

When Kai reached Kaneda, he had damn near tackled him in the back alley, furious and emboldened by his blatant disrespect, at being ignored, at the pain and anger that had been stewing within Kai for a little bit too long, released by the stupidity of Kaneda’s actions. He had thought that childishness was behind them.

“Kaneda! What the fuck was that? How could you be so disrespectful?” His voice had felt shrill in his ears, anger fueling the boldness in his words. Kaneda staggered under the weight of Kai’s body, but did not tip over. Only turned to glance at Kai over his shoulder before attempting to shrug off his hold and continue on but Kai held tight.

“Hey asshole! Stop ignoring me. What's your problem?” Kaneda’s shoulders had tensed at that and he spun suddenly on his feet, almost making himself and Kai topple over. His face was a mess of emotions and his breath reeked of brandy. Kaneda had always been taller than him, but now he absolutely towered over Kai, who recoiled slightly in disgust, slightly in discomfort.

“My problem? All those dead people. My problem? Knowing who killed em. My problem? Playin a part in it!” Kai hadn’t seen Kaneda like that in a while, that angry and upset, that ready to pick a fight instead of end one. The snarl on his face was pure malice and his eyes burned with regret, glassy and shining with unshed tears that Kaneda wouldn't let himself cry. Kai was suddenly at a loss for words as Kaneda continued, looking right through him.

“Fuck! All those dead people. All the destruction. All by the hands of a fuckin power crazy kid, God...what’s my problem? Hah, what isn't my problem.” Kaneda’s voice dropped in volume, trailed off into a mumble as he turned and started walking away from Kai, who stood frozen in the middle of the alley. What had that been? Where the hell had that outburst come from?

“Kaneda…” Kai didn’t know what to say, didn’t know where to start dissecting that obvious cry for help. Not even in their first few weeks after the explosion had Kaneda been so volatile and bothered. Not noticeably.

“Kai."

Kaneda’s voice rung out loudly in response a moment later, fell hollow on his ears. Kaneda shoved his hands in his pockets, and paused for one moment longer, before continuing on. “Sorry for scaring ya. Don’t follow me. And don’t worry either. M’gonna be just fine.”

And Kai really didn’t know what else to do but listen and believe as Kaneda disappeared out the mouth of the alley. He wasn’t sure he would want to follow him anyway with the unpredictability of liquor fueled sadness up his sleeve. Kai went back to the memorial after a long moment of consideration and did his best to clean up the puddle of alcohol Kaneda left behind.

It was the least he could do.

The next day, Kaneda hadn’t really acted any differently than normal. Aside from complaining about a headache and sporting some new bruises on his knuckles that Kai didn’t dare to question him about, he was relatively the same happy go lucky, good natured guy he had always been. Kai was relieved, but couldn’t help but think that wouldn’t be the last time he saw that side of Kaneda.

He’s sad to know that he was right.

“I heard from Tanaka that you’ve started your own kiddy care center at the Old Town base camp.” Kai does his best to try and lighten the mood, both for his sake and Kaneda’s. Get their minds off the pressing matter, the elephant in the room. Small talk, he’s relatively good at that.

“I gotta say, I’m not surprised. You always have been the big brother type.” Kaneda snorts a little at that, and glances at him out of the corner of his eye. There’s a faint smile on his dry lips.

“Yeah...m’not always so good at the ‘let’s-get-down-to-business’ and stay on the topic of business thing. Annoys the hell outta Kei as you know, but I help where I can and they’re good kids.” Kai smiles and opens his mouth to make a dig about Kaneda goin' soft on him when he’s cut off as Kaneda keeps talking.

“There’s a kid there that reminds me of Tets...when he was younger. Real shy, real sweet. Got lots of hidden anger. Her mom died in a building collapse a few weeks back and I was the one who found her afterwards...she’s got no one else. She’s all alone now.”

Kai’s words get stuck in his throat, and he swallows hard around the lump they’ve formed there. Kaneda takes another swig of alcohol, and Kai watches as a drop slips out his mouth and through the stubble on his chin, along the column of his throat. It glimmers in the light and catches on his adams apple that bobs with long gulps. Kai's throat burns just watching.

“How long are you going to blame yourself?” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, but he doesn’t regret saying them. It’s a question that’s been on Kai’s mind for a while now, one that’s probably lingering somewhere in the back of Kaneda’s own. His mouth barrels on before his mind can stop him.

“It wasn’t your fault. We did all we could for him Kaneda. You know that right?” Kai isn’t really expecting an answer, or if anything a response in the quiet, subdued tone Kaneda uses. His arm is back to shielding his eyes.

“No, I don’t think we did.”

“Well, I think you’re stupid for believing that. And I think it's disrespectful to Tetsuo to say that too.” And maybe he regrets saying that a little bit, but Kai has recently become less and less afraid to say what’s on his mind. Less and less afraid to express himself and assert his opinion. Kaneda doesn’t look impressed though, by the piercing glare he suddenly sends Kai’s way, arm resting on his forehead now.

“And I think you don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin bout Kai. Now shaddup, I came here to crash not to do couch therapy.” Kai usually isn’t so quick to rile, so quick to rise to the bait, but he’s played this game of intimidation one too many times to simply back down. To simply let Kaneda have the last word here. The topic is too important to brush under the rug any longer.

“You didn’t come here to crash, you were brought here before you crashed. Which is what you’re doing! Crashing! And burning too by the looks of it! Kei didn’t trust you enough to leave you alone, and I don’t blame her. You’re acting like a dumb reckless baby.” And that really ruffles Kaneda’s feathers the wrong way. He shoots up like a jackknife, eyes furious and focused.

“What the fuck do you know about anything, huh? What do you know about Tetsuo? You never really liked him anyway, you and Yama always thought he was a lost cause or some shit. Who are you to suddenly tell me what I did and didn’t do for ‘im? Fuck that! Fuck you!” But Kai’s still not backing down. In fact, he stands up so he’s looking down on Kaneda, a position he’s rarely been in even after growing a few inches over the years.

It doesn’t feel as good as he thought it would.

“No Kaneda, fuck you! You can’t keep acting like what happened is your problem and yours alone. Like you’re the only one who has a right to be sad, to mourn. I miss him. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for what happened because of him. And I feel bad about what happened to him, but Kaneda, we did our damn best to help him! To help the whole town! What point is there in wallowing in the past when it’s behind us? You know? What point is there in blaming yourself for his death when it wasn’t your fault!”

Kai pauses for a minute and his chest is heaving. Kaneda is looking at him with wide eyes, clouded with an emotion Kai can’t really decipher. He pushes on and hopes Kaneda will hear him.

“Everything that happened three years ago to the day, Kaneda, it was out of your control. Not your fault. There were bigger forces at work the whole time, strings being pulled and moves being made that we couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Not your fault! What is your fault is letting your sad, self deprecating emotions turn you bitter and unapproachable to your friends. It’s your fault for letting that anger and pain tear you apart and for letting it tear apart your friends too. I love you Kaneda, you’re my brother, you’re family and it sucks to see you so down right now but look around you man….you’re not the only one in pain. You’re living in a town trapped in anger and sadness, how much more do you want to keep contributing to that?”

After a long moment of silence between them, of intense unbroken eye contact, Kai turns away from Kaneda and heads towards the kitchen. He said his two cents, and if Kaneda is going to stonewall him and ignore what he has to say again, fine. So be it. He's dealt with that before. But Kai, unlike Kaneda, isn’t okay with holding onto those negative emotions until they tear him apart. He learned the consequences of that lesson a long time ago with his mother.

He fills up a cup with tap water and hears Kaneda clear his throat once, twice. “Kai…” Kaneda’s voice calls weakly to him from the living room, sounding worn and older than it is. “Did I ever tell you how I met Tetsuo?” He hasn’t .

“You haven’t.” He takes a big drink and waits a beat before making his way back towards the living room. Kaneda is still sitting up, but his head is cradled in his hands, shoulders slumped in defeat. Kai sits this time with his back against the futon, shoulder flush with Kaneda’s leg. Kai can feel a tremor run under Kaneda’s skin.

“We were kids when we met in some shitty school orphanage. He came a week or so after I did and I guess I didn’t really notice him at first, or care bout him. But one day...I saw some kids giving him a hard time. Pushing him around, laughing at him, calling him names. They stole his only toy and laughed when he cried. Real jerks those kids. The worst part though was how he didn’t even fight back. Just let em knock him around and push his buttons.” Kai listens in silence, gaze fixed on the glass in his hands.

Is it half empty or half full?

“I didn’t understand why he just let it happen until I saw his face, cause I sure as hell wouldn’t have let those jerks have their fun with me when I first showed up but...He looked so hopeless. He was such a sad kid, Kai, like...all his anger and all his pride, swap that with sadness and insecurity. I’m sure you saw it, he was shit at hiding his true feelings despite how tough he always acted...so childish.

“And I don’t know, I just...got so angry, seeing how little he cared to stand up for himself and how the kids just jumped on that weakness like a pack a wild dogs. I kicked their collective asses and got Tetsuo’s toy back for him. Took him under my wing after that and then we were Kaneda and Tetsuo, rulers of the playground…Kaneda and Tetsuo, founders of the Capsules. Kaneda and Tetsuo, brothers till the end...somethin in me just always wanted to protect him, cause he was so bad at doin it himself. I told him as much and he was glad for it at first, started to resent my help as we grew up though. I think he felt I was looking down on him or somethin', but I just...couldn’t help but want to protect that stupid, sad, reckless kid I always saw in him, crying all alone on the playground. Lookin like he needed help but not knowing how to ask.”

Kai still keeps quiet. Some part of him had always thought Kaneda and Tetsuo were actually brothers, or maybe cousins at the least despite not really looking alike. Their kinship and familiarity stemmed into something deeper than just friends, a fierce affection that Kaneda expressed in overzealous jokes and jibes, that Tetsuo showed in tolerant indignation and annoyance. Kai only understands it now, having a similar relationship himself with Kaneda. And he can kind of understand too where Tetsuo’s anger came from.

Kaneda is a great guy. Goofy, sure, carefree, considerably, but he is fiercely loyal and more clever than anyone gives him credit for. A natural born leader with his charisma, he’s always been destined for great things despite preferring to pop pills and joke around.

That’s where some of the anger comes into play.

Someone like Kaneda, someone who naturally exudes confidence and a strong presence, who makes standing up for himself look natural and effortless, he’s the kinda person Kai would be jealous of if he didn’t admire him so much, if he wasn’t lucky enough to call him family. Tetsuo always had a hard time being open, holding connections. Trusting that kindness wasn’t fueled by pity, and jokes weren’t sincere. Kai can imagine very well how hard it might have been feeling perpetually trapped in someone's else’s shadow, especially one as large as Kaneda's.

Kaneda sniffs suddenly and shakes his head within the cradle of his hands, rakes his fingers through his hair a few times before laughing wetly.

“Stupid Tetsuo, always causing me problems. Always leaving me to clean up after him even beyond the grave.” And Kai kinda cracks a smile at that one, glances up at Kaneda and blanches at what he sees. From his spot on the floor, he has a perfect view of Kaneda’s wrecked face.

There’s an impression of a smile on his lips, twisted into more of a grimace than anything. His eyes shine with tears that drip onto the floor like a waterfall, like rain in the desert after years of a brutal drought. He laughs again, or tries to, but it turns into a bitter sob that knocks him back into the futon with a sound of defeat.

Kai would normally jump up to offer comfort and words of reassurance at the sight of a friend in pain, but he’s sensed this coming for a long time now. Kei must have too. While surprising, it’s also completely expected and Kai knows that Kaneda is the type who needs to ride it out, needs to get to the bottom of his well of untapped emotions to move on from them. So he politely looks away as Kaneda proceeds to lose his usually cool composure and sits in silence as his heart aches for his friend.

For his friends.

“Fuck, I hate him Kai. I fuckin hate him. What a piece of work, a dumb fuckin asshole! I hope he’s rolling over in his grave right now, hope he hears me talking shit bout him from the great beyond. Because he's the worst ! A dumb, selfish, egotistical maniac! God, I’ll be living with his reckless messes for the rest of my life and he just got a free pass. Got a goddamn one way ticket far away from this shit circus of a town that he fucked halfway to hell. Left it all behind like it was the easiest thing, like it all meant nothing. What a jerk!” Kaneda is in near hysterics thanks to the combined liquor and outpouring of repressed emotions, caught between a mix of yelling, laughing, and crying. A truly impressive feat, if Kai says so himself.

“All those night we stayed up late talkin’ about how we were gonna change the world, how we were gonna, fuck, fix this broken town not-not break it beyond repair! In the end there wasn’t even a we anymore, not even an us. Just a -just him. Just Tetsuo. All that mattered to him in the end was his stupid, dumb self. Pathetic, he never even liked himself, that’s why I was there!”

Kai hands him his glass of water silently after Kaneda’s rant reaches an intermission and he downs it in three gulps. Takes a minute, thankfully, to dry his eyes and get control over his breathing. Kai just sits next to Kaneda and leans a little more heavily against his leg. Thinks about how weird it is to hear Kaneda sound so torn over someone leaving him behind for once. Kaneda’s scratchy voice speaks softly by his head.

“Fuck that... fuck him. Stupid cry baby bastard, can’t believe I had an ungrateful brat like that as my friend…but fuck, I still miss him sometimes Kai. Sometimes...sometimes I wan’t him back.” Kai sighs for what feels like the millionth time that night, but it’s equal parts sadness and equal parts relief. The air around them feels different suddenly, somber now instead of stifled.

Kai get’s where Kaneda is coming from, maybe not fully but well enough. He didn’t know a lot about Tetsuo before he became a wrecking ball to the town, didn't know much beyond what Kaneda would tell him or what Tetsuo himself would let slip when he was too drunk to know any better. He knows that Tetsuo was never all bad though, never quite the type Yamagata pegged him as either despite the shit he did, even to Yamagata himself.

Tetsuo too was a victim to something greater than himself, to a power larger than the confines of his earthly body. It’s taken a while to forgive his friends indiscretions and while Kai will never forget them, he thinks it’s past time to really start healing from them.

“So do I Kaneda.” Kai whispers the admission softly, almost hesitant to feel the things he does for a friend he too sometimes thinks he failed. “I know we never got along as well as the two of you, but I cared about him all the same and sometimes I wish things had gone differently. But what happened, happened, and I think he’s in a better place now, and us, we’re making the best out of what we’ve got...which, might I remind your stubborn ass, is each other.”

Kai picks himself up off the ground and plops down on the futon next to Kaneda, feeling a fatigue wash over him and settle bone deep. Kaneda radiates heat like a furnace and kinda smells bad, but his eyes are dry now, albeit puffy and red. His gaze is far away, stuck somewhere in the past, but he nods his head idly in response to Kai’s statement because they both know it's true. That sentiment has been the core of the Capsules since day one, ‘look out for our own, take care of our own: we’re all we’ve got’.

Always. No doubt about it.

“You look like you’ve got pink eye.” He says instead of just about anything else he probably should say, once again to lighten the mood, and Kaneda’s lips twitch before blooming into a wry smile.

“Well yea, I did just cry my heart out to you.” Kai can’t fight a smile either.

“Yup, just like a dumb reckless baby. No wonder the two of you got along so well, you weren’t so different after all. ” And Kaneda finally laughs something that doesn’t sound horribly bitter and sad.

They spend most of the night catching up and retelling stories about their childhood days, reveling in the golden light of the past. The usual hesitance to mention Tetsuo’s name is gone from their mouths, and they freely talk about all the stupid shit they did together, all the drunken times they had, all the recklessly childish things they honestly don’t know how they got away with. Kaneda maybe cries again once or twice, but Kai joins in and it’s a free for all of feelings, a cathartic visit for the both of them.

They collapse the futon and fall asleep right around the time the sun rises, and Kai doesn’t wake up on his own for once. The weight of another body settling on the futon jolts him into consciousness and he’s only slightly confused at the shy smile Kei sends him as she slips off her shoes and sets her coat on the floor. It’s a sight that’s very familiar to him despite having spent months alone in this apartment and he automatically scoots over some to make more room for Kei.

“You didn’t answer when I knocked, so I decided to let myself in.” Kai nods at her answer because it sounds plausible enough and he’s had worse people break into his apartment before. She stretches before lying down next to Kai, making him feel like a sardine squeezed in tightly between Kaneda’s back and Kei’s side. Kaneda snores suddenly and mumbles something in his sleep that sounds like “udon” to him and Kei rolls her eyes as Kai stifles a yawn, still closer to being asleep than awake.

“How did the meetin' go?” Kei hums to acknowledge she heard him before closing her eyes and sighing out her nose. She doesn’t respond for a long moment, but he doesn’t press it.

“Let’s talk about it later. Maybe over dinner?” Kai nods slowly. It must be the afternoon already if the light peeking in from the still closed curtains is any indication. Kei did say she would return around mid day. With the way she’s melting into the futon aside him, and Kaneda is snoring lightly on the other side of him, Kai imagines they won’t be moving until dinner time anyway.

“Sounds good....I can make udon ramen.” Kei hums again, and out of his peripheral he can see a slow smile spread on her face.

“Kaneda’s been talking about your ramen for months...I really am sorry we haven't been around lately.” If Kai weren’t so tired he would shrug, but his eyelids are getting heavier by the minute. If Kaneda is like a furnace, Kei is like a burning star, hotter than the sun. He’s starting to feel okay with being a sardine between these two.

“No worries. It was nice to catch up. Think we both needed to get some things off our chests anyway.”

Kai can hear the smile in Kei’s voice as she says softly, “Thank you, Kai. You’re really an amazing friend.”

Kai smiles back even though she’s probably not looking and responds, “Yeah, I am pretty great aren’t I?”

Kei’s pealing laughter (and Kaneda’s quiet snore of agreement) is the last thing he remembers hearing before falling back asleep.

#akira #heavy word vomit ughhh #i ain't even worried bout it #akira fanfic #my writing #kaisuke (akira)#kai (akira)#kaneda shotaro #kei (akira)

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threeracha · 6 years ago

Text

𝚜𝚘𝚏𝚝 𝚋𝚒𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚊𝚐

tagged by: @skzlove ILOVE U CJ

tagging: @jinnielovebot @himeaegyo @hyunjeno @hyyunjinn @bangchans @realstraykids @hyunnlix @bangchant @felixeslee @channie @luvknow @jeongingf @district9sgf @xiupch @vitaminhwang @1ovbot

who is my bias?

perhaps hyunjin

what’s your favorite thing about them?

HIS EYE SMILE, the way he gets all awkward like he wants to bury himself n never surface again whenever he has to be cute, HIS SELFIE UPDATES, eye mole, his dancing, that thing where he stares into the camera on stages n kills me, HIS VOICE, HIS TEETH, HIS GIGGLE, UGH his DUALITY, when he eats,,,,hhhh,,,,,is this a k*nk i jsut , when he stares at his fansites for a LONG second before doing a heart or something, when he hugs jeongin ;_____;, I COULD GO ON 4 TWELVE MORE YEARS but yeehERRRKRR

who would initiate skinship more?

i think i would even tho i dont wanna admit the actual SOFT I AM UGH like i dont like hugs but if i am Not Hugged Ima Needa GotDamn SNIKCERS

BUT AT THE SAME TIME hYUNJIN IS SO NATURAL W SKINSHIP ITs UGH

who would hog the blankets more?

UGH ME even in the most humid, hottest, scorching days that are basically feeling like satans actual aSS ,,,,, i need to WRAP.ME.UP, in ALL THE BLANKETs ;;;;

who would be more clingy?

hopefully neither like i like attention occasionally but i also need some of that SPACE n i feel like my mans jinsus would understand n would appreci8 the same

who would say ‘i love you’ first?

o me man i lov tellin ppl i lov them ALL THE TIME LIKE its some sort of dISEASE i feel like

what cuddling position would you two have?

o this is like such an awkward question honestly omfg but ig like my fav is when i can put my head on ppls shoulder or chest or smth n their arm is around me so i can still use my phone n they can too n yeah it’s a win win situation in our generation 4 sho 4 sho LMFAOOFOA

which colors remind you of them and why?

peachy orange ! it’s a very bright / light kinda color i suppose n who doesnt just think of ALL TIHGNS PRETTY N GOOD when u think of hyunjin n peaches / oranges :(

which season would you like to spend with them?

fall / winter? i hate snow like SO MUCH HONESTLY but i hate unbearable heat / rain even more n i have minimal allergies in the winter so im not wheezing and crying 50 hours a day during those seasons

who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

we would bake cookies tgt n eat the batter TGT

which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

i liv for making bad jokes :( hyunjin would probably call me a headass, catapult me out the window, change the locks on the doors, change his name, change his hair, get a new id, and pretend he doesnt kno me when i crawl my way back

who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

TEAM EFFORT.

which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

WHO MICROWAVES A POPTART??? we eat that shit Raw IN OUR HOUSE >:[

who likes to lean over trail railings and who pulls them back?

hyunjin would b leaning but im not pullin him bacc yall im so scared of like SKDJFLSJ DYING LIKE THIS ugh if any1s ever been to chicago n like yall kno the bridge over the grandriver on michigan ave???? THE SIDEWALK HAS AL THESE LINES IN IT SO U CAN SEE ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE WATER AND ITS SO SCARY i practically crawl going across i cannot HANDLE THAT SHIT IM i omg i just its so ;(

what would watching a horror film with them be like?

i LOVE SCARY MOVIES SO MUCH like im still scared but ye itd b lit bc ik he doesnt like them so like ima HECKA PROTECC JINSUS

who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

LMFAOO actually ive been told im a smooth flirt (even tho i never mean what i say ;_____; oop) BUT OMG i feel like jinsus would b smooth too tho ngl LFMOAFAOOF BUT OUR INTERACTION WOULD SOMEHOW NOT COME OUT SMOOTH-

who is more competitive?

hyunjin. i cannot compete in anything it givs sm STRESST TBH LIKE I SLKDJFLKJ GUHGHkflJ

who would be given constant reminders? (don’t forget your keys, remember to eat, etc.)

BOTH? IM FORGETFUL?? BUT I DONT FORGET WHAT OTHER PPL GOTTA DO fFFLFKFJLFKJFJ we lov priorities in this house ?___?

who sends memes and who sends cute ‘i miss you’ texts at three am?

I THINK WED BOTH BE BOTH i get so emo sometimes n also i combat emoness w memes n i think hyunjin would b like ugh BITCH mood

#tg:done #tHANK U FOR TAGGINE ME CJ THI IS SO CUTE

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andnowilovecats · 2 years ago

Text

2022/07/12

i think you can tell. i’m scared. i’m rly scared. i feel like college is going to be another nightmare of mine. i feel like my mom is going to put me in where ever that has the highest ranking. i feel like i don’t get my college life after i lost my childhood. i don’t think things are ever going to be in the way i want them to be in.

also i should stop reading love stories. those shit makes me wanna confess to ppl.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi. it’s 6:33pm. i’m still at stanford. i’m wondering. if this is the life i am speaking. i am still wondering. to finish a day of whatever simulation and then sit at the bench waiting for the bus. at the same time listening to songs. the sunlight is rly beautiful. stanford is a rly beautiful campus. idk. it think at this moment i am happy. just for this moment. my life is miserable and i am probably going to be yelled at cause i will be too late home. but i like it rn. ig.

i kinda like how science work. cause doing that ya dun need to keep asking yourself stuff. ya dun need to keep feeling stuff. it’s all about code and math. it’s better. (however i still hate coding and fixing computer.) i like the feeling when ya dun need to keep thinking about stuff that’s with no answer. but it’s just, so … step by step. so calm, (except when ya needa fix code, god i hate that thing.) and then when you are done ya get to prize yourself with a sort walk in the sun and between the trees listening to songs you like. tbh is life is kinda … casual. and i like it.

also i have this weird theory of dating a poet so we can pass poems to each other. talking about same sunset in different places. and they can dump me with some well written poem. and i can be sad while reading a bunch of poetries. that’s kinda cool lol.

6:48pm. i like what’s happening now. the bus is going through trees in stanford. this place is beautiful. and spotify just change to the song i love the most. things are going so good. i love this place. if she is my (0,0,0) then this is the (perfect,perfect,perfect) of my life. when x does not limited to perfect. cause then it will never becomes perfect. x is equal to perfect.

6:52pm. a kid is yelling. if my moms here she’s gonna be so mad. but i think he’s cute. i mean what’s more for then a baby right lol.

6:54pm. i’m still on the bus. the tran is at eleven. will i catch the train? dk.

6:55pm. did i mention that i leave all the group chats with my “friends”. idk why am i doing so. i’m just kinda tired of their thing. i am not interest with those topics. i think i just need time for myself. how ever i think they are moving away without me. kinda sad. but i think i dun wanna be with them rn.

6:57pm. oh i’m at the train station. gotta go. brb!

7:00pm. hi i’m back. sry i needa walk through the underpass. i’m kinda scared. palo auto isn’t the place with best safety so. i dun think i should text while walking under.

7:03pm. so back to the isolation thing. yeah i mostly separated myself from society. dun think my friend gets that though. at least sylvia dun. it’s pretty sad. l dun k if 01 understands. i think she will. idk she just … is okay with everything. i think she’s kinda aled? spurt of knows everything but never talks. but then sometimes if ya ask ( or force) in the right way. ya might be suppose with how much she knows. unlike me. i knows a lot of gossips i just dun bother put the puzzles together. she don’t, she just, somehow knows everything. idk. is she just too smart? anyways. she seems to not care and support whatever choice ppl make. a good friend but if she keep on not asking. ppl like me might start questioning if she cares or not.

7:09pm. train is here hang on.

7:10pm. hi. aww it’s my fav song again!

7:11pm. i’m on the train. why doesn’t i get hot girls pour her coffee over me on the train. i deserve hot girls :( instead i’m drinking coffee myself. v sad. why isn’t there hot-not-straight girls come and sit beside me. (probably bc i’m sitting at a single seat? oh did i mention caltrain has two levels!) i deserve hot girls :( not reading books 01 recommended anymore. ITS UNTRUE!

7:12pm. i like how the trees pass away and move backwards. (god there sure is a lot trees here in california.)

7:13pm. just saw the world palo auto at the train station. i’m sad. suddenly think about the life that i’ll never have. (cause uk … stanford … )

7:16pm. i wonder how the life of an american high school student will be like. … nvm i won’t even survive high school.

7:17pm. god why did this world like out going ppl. i hate talking and socializing is that a bad thing. i sad.

7:19pm. i hate life i wanna die. yes this is true i did think about this much shit in like 20 min. life is hard isn’t it. now i just generally wanna die. what’s happening. :(

7:20pm. i … am pretty sure i shouldn’t say this. but [text deleted].

7:21pm. San Carlos. beautiful city. been here with my mom once. … i have this place.

7:22pm. wanna be an artist so i get less sad. or at least i get to visualize my feelings. (hey i’m doing this rn. cool.)

7:23pm. so many graffito on the walls beside rail road. those are kinda cool. beautiful night not be the word. but it’s good being their. my mom said it’s bad and make the city looks worse. … why am i thinking about this she’s miles away from me … :(

7:25pm. no hot girls spotted. come on i’m leaving in 5 minute. 01 is lying. FAKE STORIES.

7:26pm. yes i’m looking for hot girls on the train all the time. what? judge me? humph

7:27pm. the train is at station. bye.

8:21pm. i missed train. i hate it here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi. probably i’ve been felt too good today. it seems my life got even more miserable then before, and days before. i am not feeling good. actually it’s all falling apart in my mind. i can’t put things, thoughts together. this is bad. ig. i am not feeling strongly. i just felt ... apart. does that even means anything? idk. the only thing i can tell is that i dun belong here. this is bad. here is bad. do not like this. very sad.

also read too much english. something is wrong with my chinese. i can’t get the word i want just by instinct. like how i can do before. like for me one even have at least three different ways to describe. but now i can’t even think about one. well, if i am not counting the words that are not literature, but just random word to write that might make sense but doesn’t work that good.

what am i talking about. idk. i think i am having anxiety attack rn.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

11:34pm. i’m in bed. listening to songs. this singer is super gentle. i’m gonna cry. i love him.

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luvdsc · 3 years ago

Note

Hihi Cat! I've come to deliver some good news! (This is pretty long huhu ToT)

MY ERB HAS BEEN APPROVED AND I CAN PROCEED TO RECRUIT PARTICIPANTS!! Ahh it's been such a blessing to be able to proceed immediately! I've actually hit my target amount of participants in less than a day (IT'S CRAZY) but I'm gonna collect more responses cuz the more the better! (Would you wanna check the questionnaire out? I can PM you the link!! :3)

Also also I PASSED THAT FINALS! The one I took a day after my vaccination (1st dose) ToT GAHH I'm so happy I won't even ask for more, it's enough :3

I've been writing my thesis during this sem break but it's progressing pretty slowly cuz I've been so drained from last semester and the vaccine itself. Huhu but I've written a brief rundown for my proposal so there's a rough idea there, just needa rly assemble it into a clear narrative. And yes I agree! Psychology studies are a beautiful fusion of science & human essence imo, and its fascinating learning more abt ourselves and how we as the human species progress in life ya know? 😌

I got my second dose exactly a week ago and got the same side effects - headache, arm soreness, hunger, fatigue; I felt like a fusion of psyduck & snorlax HAHAHAHA 😂 - it wasn't anything serious so yay I'm fully vaccinated! (in a few weeks time keke I'll be)

HAHAHAHA my vaccination appointments were pretty eventful. The nurses and volunteers were all so warm and friendly! I'm the type of person who feels whatever's being injected into me, it's not the pain that I wanna distract myself from (it wasn't pain tbh) but that sluggish discomfort I get from the needle ejaculation >//< sooo as they showed me the vile and syringe before injecting me, I prepped my Yangyang photocard in my hand. During my second dose, the nurse thought I had some fancy way of taking a video when in actual fact I was just looking at my Yangyang photocard hehe UwU she asked me whether I wanted to see the needle going in (smtg I can't look at tbh) and I was like HELL NAH ToT

And also some recap from the previous ask!

There's no need to apologise for the delayed response okie!! UwU my sem break is ending this week, but I've spent my time completing my academic research trainee tasks (transcribing audio clips), I've also created the content & design for my uni's newsletter, did some thesis writing, and I took a course on financial planning on Coursera to prep myself for the adulting life ToT

And idm sharing my back up / failed topics! I didn't have a lot of cards in my hands, but here are some of em!

1) time perspective and meaning in life 2) anticipatory nostalgia 3) not a topic but a variable! fragility of happiness / happiness aversion

what ideas did you settle on for yr art pieces? If you dm sharing, I'd love to hear abt it! 💖💖💖

Tbh I can't think of a fav ice cream flavor hmm 🤔 i rly didn't think it'd be so hard thinking of a fav ice cream flavor but the first that comes to mind is green tea! I like them milky flavored ice cream😍 though my fav from this ice cream place I go to is thai milk tea, it's so fragrant and milky!! 🥺💖 I just got myself a tub of milk & biscoff gelato keke UwU what's yr fav ice cream flavor? :3

For my course structure:

We have 2 long sems (Jan - Apr, & Aug - Dec, 16 weeks) & a short sem (May - July, 9 weeks)! Our sem breaks are only around a month then it's back to sleepless nights ToT AND YES those weeks were the most stressful weeks ever 🥺😭 I'm glad I'm graduating soon for that reason 😂(though idk what awaits in the working world ToT that is another fear I have :/)

Thank you for being part of this journey and being open to listening to my lil adventures! 🥺🙆🏻‍♀️💖😭 esp w the amount of responses and ppl helping me, I feel a lil more motivated to work and excel in this pregnancy (thesis, I call it pregnancy cuz it's around 9 months too HEHE) Since the pandemic, it's been pretty hard separating studies & hobbies :/ I've learnt it the hard way from my period cramps last sem (mine's the severe type where you can faint ToT), and it was also on my last paper for finals !! Very traumatizing ._. but I'll continue to manage myself better! :3

Huhu Cat since you're working now, I also wanna ask abt yr experience in job seeking! Cuz unemployment is a real deal here esp. w everything that's going on :') I don't have working experience either (only had 1 through internship) and it literally feels like I'm going into the unknown ToT I've been running over some case studies and assessments just to better prep myself for this. Do you have any advice as someone who's already working? UwU

Take care and stay lovely as always!! 💖💖💖

hi, sweetpea !!!! 🌸 omg major congratulations for getting your ERB approved, honey bee !!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 that’s absolutely amazing, and I’m uber proud of you 🥺💗💗 also, it’s wonderful that you hit the required number of participants so quickly !!!!! (And I would love to participate if the questionnaire is still open 🤧)

AND HECK YEAAA CONGRATS ON PASSING THE FINAL TOO 🤩🤩🤩🤩 big congrats to you all around, miss smarty pants 💓💓💓

Oh gosh, I hope you got to rest during your semester break too ): you’re working so hard, please remember to take care of yourself !! 💕 your mental health is more important 🤍 have you finalized your proposal now? And omg yes exactly !!! It’s so interesting to see the thought process behind an action and how it can be manipulated or influenced by various stimulants or there’s also the argument between nature versus nurture too and how that affects psychology and it’s just all so cool to learn about 🤩

Omg you had so many symptoms, I’m so sorry to hear that 😭 I only had a sore arm, but that’s what happens when I get any shot 🤧 I hope you’re feeling better now 💘💘

I’m really glad to hear that the nurses and volunteers were kind and friendly !! it’s always comforting to have nice people as doctors, especially when you’re trusting them to stick a needle in you bshdjdjdkd omg yangyang to the rescue !!!! 💞💞 we’re not allowed to record record any medical appointments, like I think the nurse thought the person in front of me in line was recording when they were getting their vaccine and said they weren’t allowed to do that 😅 and aaaaa I always have to look when they inject me, I don’t like being taken by surprise 🤧

oh my gosh you were so productive over your semester break !!!! :o and oooo you do content & design for your school’s newsletter? Do you do stuff like graphic designing and write articles? 💓 and how was the financial planning course !! Did you learn a lot? Did you like the studies? :’)

aaaaa those topics sound so cool ??? 🤩🤩 I would definitely be down to read about those omg 💛

for my 3D design class, I decided to do lightbulbs and flowers as my overarching theme for my art pieces !! I included a couple pictures below under the cut at the bottom 💓 the first one is a soft sculpture made out of newspaper, and there’s a pencil next to it for size reference, the second one is made of wires that I shaped myself, and the third one is made of foam boards that I cut and assembled myself as well 💕 and I included a picture of my final painting project! it’s a triptych and I believe the size was like 18 x 24 for each one? If you click on the picture, it should be better quality!

omg I love green tea ice cream too !!!!! 🍵🍦 I like going to somi somi for their matcha and milk swirl ice cream with red bean taiyaki 💚 I only had thai milk tea ice cream once, but it was phenomenal 🤩 I wish they sold it near me too !! milk and biscoff :o I’ve never tried that flavor! I’ll have to see if it’s sold around here :’) green tea is my favorite, but I also really like everything but the... from Ben and Jerry’s !! 💛 also alcoholic ice cream.... like there’s this one kind where it was a breakfast esque type with vanilla, corn flakes, and bourbon, and it was delicious 😋

omg what 😭😭 you’re basically going to school year round with no break bahsjdjdjdkd when I was in uni, i had a month off for winter break (usually something like dec 9 - jan 9) and then mid june to mid September off, so around three months of summer vacation? Your school schedule sounds absolutely brutal 💀💀

and omg of course !!! Thank you for letting me be a part of the journey 🥺💗 bdjdjddj pregnancy omg that’s such an interesting way of seeing it :o sending you all my love and support for a successful delivery of your thesis baby 🥰🥰 oh yeah, it’s definitely been a struggle to separate everything, especially when the lines between home and workspace blur with online school or working from home. And oh my god ???? Are you okay ?? Did you go see a doctor or take any medication? I hope you’re feeling better now !! Please take care of yourself 😭

ah, I got my job through my internship, so I’m not sure how helpful I will be 😅 but during the process of interviewing for internships, there were several rounds for each company that range from a group interview, a one on one interview, video interview where they give you random questions that you have to answer on the spot (some of mine were discuss the stock market, give a sales pitch on something you’re interested in, etc), a test, etc. I think it’s different depending on the job you’re going for, but that’s what I had to do in the business field! It’s important to study and prep for all of this!! It’s like taking an verbal exam for one of your classes. And also make sure to study the company’s website and familiarize yourself with what they do/sell.

My one piece of overall advice would be about interviews! Interviews are important in which the person interviewing you is seeing if you’ll be a good fit with the company, not in terms of skill, but personality. They already know you’re qualified and have good skills - that’s how you got the interview. With the interview, they’re essentially trying to see how personable you are and if you will work well with their team. Some people are so intent on proving their skills that they kinda just rattle off all their achievements and whatnot, and it’s like... the interviewer already knows this, it’s all on the resume they reviewed when they decided to give the interview offer. Be friendly, open, maybe make a little small talk at the beginning (“hey, how are you? any weekend plans / how was your weekend?” This is what I did for all my business interviews, and I got an offer back from every one 🤧💗), make appropriate jokes / be a little funny, just show that you’d be a fun person to have in the office whom people will want on their team, but that you will also be dedicated to the job and work hard 💘

And thank you so much, honey bee!!! 💞 I hope you’re doing well and having a good week , and please take care as well 🌷🌷

#asks #jaeismytamtation

0 notes

the-main-characterr · 4 years ago

Text

realised i forgot to watch tharntype,

will do rn.

kinda feel like i also grew out of that but eh we’ll see

types aggressive being still annoys me

y u always >:(

if i dated someone for 7 years and they still didn’t marry me, i’d be insecure ASF

i like 2gether more than tharntype

it’s prettier

you could’ve done ur alarm urself bitch

why are you talking so slow?

why are u judging em tho just watch the show

i think everyone that knows me a lil bit knows why i like 2gether more

7 years are actually a lot-

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

i kinda want one but i also don’t like what

i said it before and i’ll say it again: types aggressive behaviour annoys me

not tryna b judgemental but if u stick to type for 7 years u have all my respect

watching this hurts in my soul

that p’cir and phu r cool

love the sound effects

love the time i lived in when i watched the first season

if i’m so judgemental already, i also don’t like their kitchen

it’s so boring wth

wow- now i feel bad.

sorry.

the way tharn puts his phone in his front pocket is everything but *judgemental comment here* i can’t think of any bad things rn

i’m so scared of both of them like they’re always like >:(

you can’t just force someone into marriage-

no but like why would a stranger want to know if you have a relationship or not i mean you’re not going to random people and say hi we’re married

i mean i would do that but i’m the main character-

if someone “could stay mad at me” id be fucked-

yall are so sensitive just touch the bread

that phegun and p’cir are cute ngl

no like literally yall are so dramatic

i liked fiat but wth

doc is cute

just because you’re not married doesn’t mean you’re sharing him-

type improved tbh

awh they cute-

the music———————— jail

marriage.

POSSESSIVEEEEEEE

lucky me being zen-meryem rn

perfect representation on how personality can destroy everything

until this day, i still don’t know what a lines ID is supposed to be

this was too cute i’m ded

rip me

i love the sound effects yfrvjjvgjmkb

love their style

fiat u can’t just-

come for a taken man that’s the most disgusting thing possible

like even if he wasnt happy with tharn or in a toxic relationship it’s not ur stupid job to manipulate and steal wth

leo u have all my respect

wouldnt mind being ur bestie

stfu fiat u r a toxic attention seeking bitch that is nothing more but unethical

selfish brat

this is cute-

love

ngl the fact it’s been 7 years n they stilsbxbwjbdwbbx

cute

ok leo i understand why u took it back but i still respect u for even doing it

phugun is too possessive

of p’cir idk the names but one of them

the not cute one

idk why yall hate on no so much he funny af

oh i see

phugun is the cute one

P’CIR IS TOOO POSSESSIVE

let the man live wth

seo is literally it dnxjdbjdbsbf

what did actually happen to the guy that’s been a bitch and possessed over tharn

lol i actually feel bad for type. it’s the first time i see him EMOTIONAL and damn-

must hurt.

omg istg i also wonder why he doesn’t quit

this is too much I CANT

Imma suffocate on the cutegsbsbdbbd ah i’m dying

hmph ig im just to tough to cry��

WOAH

heart attack-

SHXBHSBC A MAN

doc, ily

this picture-in-picture thingy is so cool

i remember a time type didn’t want to admit he missed him

the hdhxb ishdiuebchw immaculate

fiat i’m scared of u

“every time i really want someone, i never get them” FELT. FELT FELT FELT difference is that my dumbass don’t want them when they want me🥲 it’s ok. time knows what it’s doing

fiat u r heartless

imagine having a healthy relationship with ur mother in law

yall be having literal bodyguards

i could SELL MY SOUL HE DID SOMETHING IN THAT DRINK

ok i wasn’t sure about it but by the amount that guy said cheers i couldn’t be more convinced that this man is evil

the fact that he didn’t tuck his shirt is the whole evidence

DATE ALREADY I CANT HHGGYYGCCXDDXCGBB U N CHAMP FOREVER

doc-

you heard him don’t leave him

HUH WAIT I HAVE TO WAIT!?

THOUGHT I CAN

WATCH IT ALL THROUGH

if you don’t move ur ass rn i’ll come to thailand myself n kick ur ass

too invested-

JANUARY 22?/!/£:!.!3):£WHAT

i cant-

okay cool i waited a few weeks imma continue wasching now

oh i remember. i was yelling at that basketball kid

STOP ASSAULTING A DRUNK PERSON AH J CANT MY EYES

omg leo thanks u saved my life thank u ily

you don’t have to be on top of him just to question him-

be scared stupid bitch

types just simply sleeping somewhere completely left alone👁👄👁

DUDE WHY U SO AGGRESSIVE

i CaN bE yOuR hUsBaNd BITCH ION REALLY THINK SO

WOW

I FORGOT UR NAME BUT DAYUMN SHOW HIM

i wish i had someone that kept his promise under every circumstance

ppl that promise me things b like i NeVeR sAiD tHaT hUhH

yall just so addicted to each other like chill

if i’d marry someone, i’d feel so old

like hi i’m MARRIED

stop with the i miss u it’s so emotional

tharn you look so done with ur life lmfao

fiat you’re so annoying istg

cant u just ply basketball and leave these ppl alone like piss off

why yall crushing on type crush on me

fiat go study or sumn srsly

STOP

omg STAHP HE JUST SAID WATCH UR KNEE

DONT U FUGGIN KISS HIM OMFG

ah doorbell.

thanks.

phu you’re so funny

WHAT- wth fiat please stop you’re ridiculous

For seven years, i’ve never had eyes for anyone but him. damn- imagine-

my hearts b shattering ITS NOT HIS FAULT

well okay there’s a lot of evidence against

STILL

ITS NOT HIS FAULT

i mean i see tharns point but

ARGHZBSHSBXBWBXB

for personal reasons i will be passing away

the audacity of this bitch is giving me ANGER

imagine buying wedding rings just to come home n hear “we should take a break”

fuck anger i’ll cry

why even want fiat💀

AH DONT CRY J CANT HSBSHABX

phu you’re so cute like THE CHARACTER

thanya you’re such a queen i can’t explain

this scene is so funny they all b sitting there like 👀👀👀👀👀

MY SOUL

you disgust me.

ok first off phu gun your style is so cool like that white shirt- FABULOUS 10/54

n second off, my dumbass felt like WHO IS THAT MAN HITTING ON FIAT I KNOW HIM

silly me it’s cir-

handsome man ngl

WHY DROP UR SUITCASE HUH

don’t tell me he died

oh god he didn’t die-

WHATS THE MATTER THEN

you guys are so sensitive can’t get hurt at all

always going like OH SHIT I NEEDA GO TO THE HOSPITAL

“cant even make an instant noodle” that’s why we admire u lmao

ok chill u just spilled it

you look so cute when u pissed at urself shxbsbc

ah thanya u r so cool

HERE IT IS THE HEALTHY MARRIAGE I WAS SEARCHING IN THIS SERIES OMFG

“lack of communication can even break apart the most loving relationship” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN GHE BACK

COMMUNICATION, WHAT A LOVELY WORD

this series is fulfilled now

i could listen to these two forever

i cant with leo and fiat fcstvhjfftc

don’t act like the shy bitch now u stoopid

this is hard to watch ew

khom being a philosopher of love fxtvjbj

he didn’t just leave his i miss u

yall tryna get drunk with my heart

STOP CRYINGGGGG

im gon suffocate

stop i didn’t start this show to murder myself

pls calm ur face u look so aggressive

i wonder how many times tharn talked to sleeping type in those 7 years

u r basically talking to a wall

HE WROTE THAT SONG

oh just to be someone to know what ordained is

those blue thingys r so cool

thanks this is everything i needed

doc champ, how long shall i wait

he’s not bald-

did they even cut his eyebrows-

oh monk.

didn’t they shoot these scenes during rona-

those r some fire makeup skillz

HE DID NOT

YOURE SIMPLY PLAYING WITH HIS HEART

WHATDIDHESAYYYY

officially ripped my heart into pieces

that was definitely not a kiss kiss

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