#i need you guys to know how unhinged the tweet making process is

[acotarmemes]

ACOTAR tweets // pickles

This is a long one, but please enjoy.

RPF = real person fiction

BONUS:

icons @copypastus

[7fckingidiots]

Would you be alright with writing some HCs about the brothers and a MC who's a trans guy? Sorry if it's a tall order or too vague, they're a big comfort for me and I'd like to see what ideas you have bcs your headcanons are fantastic ;w;

HELL YEAH DUDE!!!! IM ALSO TRANS!!! AH!!!!! demigirl rights :3 but i also find a huge comfort in the boys and i hc all of them as trans because no one can Stop Me •• but i really hope you enjoy these and remember you’re valid and i care u so much! Also i hope you don’t mind but i kinda made it gender neutral so every trans folk could enjoy!

The Brothers With A Trans MC

Lucifer

He didn’t know until you came out to him honestly. He knew all his other siblings were trans but with all the work Diavolo gave him and adding new students from different realms on top of that he hadn’t really had time to notice any minor changes in you.

He feels guilty about this and immediately makes sure(like everyone else)to ask for your pronouns, name, and how you would like to present yourself from now on.

Fixes your ID cards and your papers with Diavolo right after dinner

God. He’s such a dad and he gets you things that have your new name on them. You wake up to see you have a new pencil case with your name embroidered on it with matching pencils. God.....he’s so weird i love him so much

Asmo does most of your clothing shopping but for formal wear he takes you shopping! He’s not about to buy you some cheap tux or gown ok it’s gonna be over 2000 grim and he’s gonna get you three of them STOP HIM

He’s not the best with verbal affection so he writes down notes that are like “you looked very handsome/pretty today.” or when he first starts writing them they’re like “you’re a boy/girl/kid. i’m proud of you.” Thank u mr morningstar

You want surgery or to start hormones??? He will stop all his work with Diavolo and spend forever looking up things for you, he wants you to be as safe as possible(pls he almost fainted after he realized you’d have to give yourself a shot like everyday dhdhdhjdhd hc that demons/angels don’t have to do hormone therapy i’m so JEALOUS)

Practices saying your pronouns in his study when you first come out. He just wants to make sure you feel as safe as possible in his care(and he remembers how terrible it felt to be misgendered)

Guess what....he loves you no matter what :)

Mammon

You’re blind as hell if you couldn’t see his top scars but I respect it

King DOES slip up on your pronoun change but always immediately corrects himself. Satan has a spray bottle that he sprays Mammon with when he does it. Mammon is NOT amused but the same can’t be said for Belphie.

Gender affirming activities??? Oh yeah like robbing a bank?? That’s pretty gender neutral and trans right?? Yeah!!! Wow such a good supportive brother.

If you want you can wear the formal wear Lucifer bought you to the said bank heist. Boom trans rights

You can practice painting his nails or doing his makeup if you’re too nervous to do it on yourself first!! Dw if it’s bad he also can’t do makeup or paint nails so once you let him return the favor you’re both laughing and Asmo is distraught.

KING at dying hair he will get you whatever you need and if you want an entire different hair cut entirely he’s ON it

Very used to being Loud and Brash but if you need someone to talk to about anything really he always calms down and sits down to listen to whatever you have to say.

Lots of gendered gifts from him. This said for men??? Oh ok adds to cart. Oh pink??? For ladies??? yeah that can go in there too

You’re never gonna believe this.....But he loves you and supports you :)

Levi

He was the first one to come out to you at the house!! He was just so excited! Same hat!!!

Gets literally any video game where you can design the protag/have custom pronouns and will play games like that with you for hours

Would you like a pride flag.....for u.....He has too many.....Please take the trans flag please he has no room....he bought in bulk for a pride event and didn’t consider the consequences of his actions

Miku binder but irl. He will get if for you but unironically.....thanks King. He just likes binders with patterns and i respect IT

Dysphoria?? He gives you his hoodie bc that was his trademark dysphoria hoodie and i GUESS for you he can share............he would give u anything just ask nicely he’s sensitive

Reads any character that matches up with your gender and is like!!!!! That’s you!!!! OMG!!!! You in da IRL

Goes back and edits his tweets if they use your old name or pronouns(also has he/they in his bio. this is for nothing just makes me :D)

If you haven’t chosen your name he’s gonna suggest so many fictional characters. POV levi kin assigns you.

You listen to music together that just has Trans Vibes.....maybe u cry together but there’s no judgment!! It’s just nice :)

God it’s wild but! He loves u and thinks ur great :)

Satan

Enby Satan. That’s all :)

He’s very quite about it, he supports you! He’s just not loud like his brothers

He brings you book about gender studies and LGBTQ history that he thinks would interest you(there some of his favorite books and they’ve made him feel the most comfortable in his gender)

Gives you a name list if you haven’t named yourself yet! He cares about you and wants to make sure you have the right name that suits you

He’s the one that tells you that it’s ok if you’re still figuring it all out, learning about yourself is a very tricky process and if anyone knows that it’s Satan

Any of the brothers would kill anyone who misgendered you but with Satan that shit is ON SIGHT

Asks you how you know and what were the signs that gave it away to you, but only if you’re comfortable telling him!! He just finds everyone’s experience interesting and would like to know yours as well.

Spells for fucking DAYS Satan personally kills body dysphoria the best he can(mainly bc he’s HIGHKEY afraid of you getting surgery he hates knives so much)

Makes your comfort food for you when you’re feeling down about yourself and will read whatever you want to hear outloud to you.

!!!!!! GET THIS !!!!!! He loves YOU :0

Asmo

Fucking excited!!!! This means you two are going to buy so much clothing together and he gets to style you let’s GO

Buys you whatever you want but he will make you try it all on so be CAREFUL what u wish for.....ur gonna be there till the store closes yeah......

Paints your nails with the trans pride flag!! Also does your makeup and gives you tips on how to look more masculine or fem!!

VOICE LESSONS

He will help you lower or raise the pitch of your voice if it KILLS him. It eventually becomes like a mini class after school

Helps with internalized transphobia! Hes dealt with his fair share and knows how awful it can be and he will NOT being having you experience that as well we r practicing Self Care now

Picks apart any one who misgenders you until they’re crying he has NO fucking time for that behavior in this HOUSE

Sometimes self care is eating whatever you want and sitting in the dysphoria hoodies while watching chick flicks with Asmo

He likes dressing you up but he’s always sure to set boundaries so he never puts you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable

ALSO edits his posts and takes down anything that makes you uncomfortable!!

He loves you so much!!!!

Beel

another one to hand you The Dysphoria Hoodie and it’s very large and comfy!

he’ll help you make out a work out routine that will help you get the body you want and it makes him really happy to work out with you :)

he’s gonna hold your hand if you have to take shots and will give you puppy eyes if you don’t let him. He’s just worried!!!! He wants to help

stands behind you whenever you’re nervous about coming out to someone, he will NOT have someone making you feel bad or misgendering you

he’ll see food with trans pride colors and gives it too you, probably doesn’t even know what it is half the time but it made him think of you so he makes sure to get it for you

he doesn’t trip up on any of your new pronouns or name and makes it seem like he never even knew them. dead name???? what’s that??? a type of sauce?????

will let you vent to him whenever needed and will always make you a sundae after you’ve finished. it’s comically huge but it’s tasty and does make you feel a lot better, thanks beel

makes sure you remember to take off your binder if you’ve been wearing it for more than eight hours! and if you’ve been wearing heels to feel more fem he reminds you to take those off too and has a pair of slippers for you in his room that you can wear instead

hey! get this! He loves you so, so much :D

Belphie

you’re trans? ok kid join the club. he doesn’t make a big deal at all

are you still gonna cuddle with him and join him in his quest to make lucifer’s life difficult? yeah? ok then cool what’s ur name 

if he hears someone misgender you he waits till you’ve left the room and just kills whoever did it, dude’s unhinged what did you expect from him honestly

he’s actually really curious about any hormone therapy you’re on and likes listening to you rant about it to him. he likes seeing your face light up and it partly reminds him of lilith

calls your hormones something stupid like “oh dude, your gamer girl juice arrived.” or “hey your little man potion is here.” ...thanks belphie

will NOT let you sleep in a binder or push up bra!!! not healthy!! let ur chest breath guys 

like mammon, he gets you gendered gifts but they’re so fucking weird? you didn’t need a girls version of a collectable hot wheels set???? he got you blue lightning mcqueen sheets?????? those EXIST here????!!!!! when does he even shop......

introduces you to new people like “this is our resident boy/girl/human. they don’t do much but i think they’re cool.”

he really does care about you but he remembers when he came out he just didnt want people to make a big deal about it so he’s just doing what would have made him feel the most comfortable, but you can still see how much love he has for you when you look into his eyes

he loves you, so, so much :)

[whatiwillsay]

kaylor oomfs avert your eyes 😞

i get asked from time to time “why don’t you like kaylor, why don’t you like karlie, why do you think kaylor isn’t together? why aren’t you and ttb married yet?” and i think it’s high time i centralize my thoughts and receipts on all of that in a little timeline of shady things karlie has done to taylor that have made me wary of kaylor/karlie/that whole situation.  don’t read if you stan kaylor this isn’t for you (unless you know you’re interested in the truth.)

first things first, i do think something romantic happened between kaylor go read @swiftiesleuth‘s realistic kay timeline for what i (generally) think happened between them.

but long story short - i think joshlie is real, i think they weren’t all that serious at the beginning, she famously didn’t meet his family for years, he didn’t take her to work events for a long time, so there’s room for her to have a fling with taylor even though we ended up with a real joshlie endgame.

taylor’s music and art supports this theory - in the wd mv she paints herself as the other woman, on rep she sings of secret sexy sex with her best friend that drives her crazy, in cruel summer she sings of a miserable, secret, and toxic situation with a person who rejects her love, in illicit affairs and august again she is the other woman - the art matches up.  she also sings about her sunshine being gone on lover, and eclipsed on folklore. we have good clues in taylor’s artistic expression.

taylor’s given interviews about some of these karlie songs - she said cruel summer was about the start to a “doomed” relationship and look at what she said about august:

“It kind of explores the idea of the undefined relationship. As humans, we're all encouraged to just be cool and just let it happen, and don't ask what the relationship is — Are we exclusive? But if you are chill about it, especially when you're young, you learn the very hard lesson that if you don't define something, oftentimes they can gaslight you into thinking it was nothing at all, and that it never happened. And how do you mourn the loss of something once it ends, if you're being made to believe that it never happened at all?”

if joshlie is real which i think they are that 100% sounds like taylor having to process being gaslit by karlie while she cheats on josh with her.

so why do i think joshlie is real?

-  josh has no credible gay rumors that didn’t originate on gaylor tumblr: he has old ex gfs that came before karlie, harvard message boards gossiped about him and didn’t like him but never said that he was gay, in fact one of the complaints josh’s schoolmates had about him was that he got special treatment for her girlfriend at parties.

-  as stated before taylor’s art suggests she’s been the other woman with someone in her life recently.  if josh and karlie are beards then what is the affair? why is taylor the other woman so often all of a sudden?

-  i’ve spoken to someone with a mutual friend with the kushners - grain of salt of course, i know you can only trust stuff you hear from me with no proof so much, but i do absolutely trust this person and they say - no way in hell is joshlie fake, no way in hell is josh gay, no way in hell is karlie having taylor’s baby.  also karlie absolutely has moved down to miami with josh.  i’m sure we’ll see her in nyc and la from time to time but she is living in miami now.

-  vicky ward, who is a real investigative journalist not some unhinged person on tumblr, wrote a tell all about the kushners.  she uncovered gay rumors about josh’s father and josh’s brother but not josh.  she had actual sources and was legitimately digging up tons of dirt on these people and not a word about josh being gay or joshlie being fake.

-  yes karlie did convert to judaism.  it’s really offensive to suggest she didn’t.  of course she always could have done it for personal reasons but occam’s razor dictates she did it for josh i don’t know what else to tell you 🤷‍♀️

-  also just vibes.  karlie writes him love notes and leaves them with his breakfast.  they make playlists for one another.  if the kushners weren’t so heinous they’d be cute.

so in the joshlie is real world view i inhabit, i don’t stan kaylor the same way i do swiftgron because i don’t think kaylor was ever a committed monogamous relationship.  important and impactful on taylor’s life? absolutely.  inspired some amazing music? 100%. but was is true and tragic love that drives me insane and makes me feral?  no.  i don’t believe so.  is it still an interesting and iconic ship? yes!  but i don’t stan because it wasn’t like...true love or gay shit like that.

so let’s talk about karlie’s screwups that 1. assure me kaylor is not together and 2. make me have no desire to stan karlie/kaylor.

1.  after the kimye drama (something that deeply traumatized taylor we now know thanks to miss americana) karlie said she was sure kim was a lovely person 😭 now i know she walked it back and tweeted she and taylor had one another’s backs. i know karlie was just trying to be diplomatic.  but come on...if someone did what kim did to taylor to my lover or hell even just my friend i would say “fuck that clout chasing fame whore” bottom line.  c’mon guys.  have higher standards for your otp.

karlie also has vibed with kim on IG about her adidasas line.  recently!  yes i know she’s just promoting her brand but c’mon.  taylor still hates kim, their drama got rehashed in march 2020 and just 6 months later kim n karlie are bestie-ing around on ig.

2.  ALL the fucking masters drama and scooter fucking braun

-  not long at all after the masters heist karlie was palling around with scooter on a yacht like come on the only other thing taylor is equally as traumatized over as the kimye drama is the master’s heist.  why is karlie hanging out with him and partying with him at this time?

-  karlie liked a tweet completely incinerating taylor (in a gross and unfair/inaccurate way) regarding the masters heist.  she unliked it but still.  why was she even looking at that shit.

-  and yeah we gotta talk about perez.  so perez hilton (who is a scumbag and gross but sometimes does have legitimate tea) posted a video saying that karlie and taylor were no longer friends because karlie betrayed taylor to scooter.  now if that were all there was to it, it’d be dumb gossip.  but a taylor fan account posted the video to twitter ashley avignone and claire winter both liked the tweet.  ashley liked two tweets about it.  perez proceeded to tweet that since two of taylor’s oldest and truest friends liked the tweets it must mean he was correct and neither of the girls unliked the tweets.  ashley and claire are low key people, not celebs, not pawns in a “fued narrative”, just long time and loyal friends of taylor’s.  they liked the tweet, imo, because there’s some truth to it.

-  that brings me to spencer pratt.  spencer is a reality star and super swiftie/huge fan of taylor’s.  he despises karlie.  he’s tweeted negatively about her and he also had perez onto his podcast to talk about the drama between karlie and taylor.  taylor herself sent him a cardigan.  do you really think taylor is going to allow a cardigan to go out to the guy who’s dragging her girlfriend or bestie? i don’t think so.  receipts on perez and spencer here.

3.  karlie posted for hailey fucking beiber’s bday instead of taylor’s and hailey hates taylor 🤢🤢🤢

4.  karlie married into a fascist family that is associated with the trumps.  like how can you expect me to stan?  trump is a fucking criminal evil piece of shit.  i know karlie isn’t like him (probably) but it’s still awful.  kimby even goes around liking ivanka’s ig posts like give me a fucking break 😭.

in summation, you can disagree w me all you like, you can ship kaylor all you like, but if you’re of sound mind i don’t think you can look at the facts in this post and think i’m misguided for not being a kaylor/karlie stan.  and you can’t blame me for thinking if you spend a lot of time obsessing over that ship you may not really be that big a fan of taylor’s.  and if you’re spending a lot of time leading lgbt kids on to think they’re going to get a kaylor end game when all the objective facts of the case suggest that that’s never going to happen you might need to reevaluate but at the very least you certainly can’t press me for not doing all that.

[ranboo5]

TMA Fears and how they manifest in my experiences w/ MCY7/D$MP as someone who got semi into D$MP by accident with no prior MCY7 knowledge

The Corruption: Every time a streamer claims they love their fans The Buried: Trying to discuss any fucking actual issues in this community with any nuance at all. No matter how many friends you talk to you and all those takes get buried in one by whatever is the hot new Discourse (see: the Vast) The Hunt: The hot new Discourse and the ever present fear of people with it coming for you  The Lonely: Like the Buried but you don’t have friends with similar takes to discuss these particular takes about sadge The Dark: When bitches are mentioning lore is upcoming but they don’t say what, or when. Or when they say “oooh I dropped lore hints in previous streams and you guys just did not notice. I am not telling you anything else” this IS a vague  The Eye: People mentioning the Discord server in donos to streamers. I’m not saying who but if you know you fucking know  The Web: The algorithm. I don’t need to explain this. Are you watching the next video because you want to watch the next video? Are you watching it because it’s being shown to you? Both? Neither? Does it matter?  The Slaughter: D$MP discourse TikTok. I again don’t need to explain this. The Vast: Twitter dot com. Twitch chats. Any large congregation of viewers. When a streamer breathes and such a large mass of people tweet about it spontaneously that the whole fucking world sees a trending tag. When overwhelming fucking forces of information seem to gather to the worst common denominator. The mob is more than the sum of its parts and the beast is blind and mindless, and it’s so big that no one can comprehend it or appease it, least of all some whiteboy with no PR team; and if the mob is merciful, all it seeks to slake its thirst for entertainment is blood.  The Flesh: Endless thumbnails of streamers’ faces making extreme expressions. The streamers all look vaguely similar. The thumbnails all look identical. The content is the same -- some guys hanging out as friends. For your enjoyment. For your consumption. For your consumption to become a product as inhuman as what is consumed. A processing line of human expression, turned into a product for something that doesn’t exist. You do not know whether to be horrified or to take your place on the processing line, just so you don’t have to think about it. The Spiral: Seeing a D$MP discourse take that is not just a confusing read but sounds completely deranged and based on information that just does not exist?? Did you miss the stream when this was canonized?? Why have you not heard about it?? Did they just make it up??? Did you hear about it and forget??? Is this in fact a distant misinterpretation of something that did happen, warped beyond recognition??? It is a key point of their argument. They are stating it with utter confidence. One of you is either lying or unhinged, or possibly both.  The Desolation: Allegedly Techn0blade’s old Bedwars video purge. I might be a fake Techn0blade fan though because basically all I did was rewatch his Skyblock series repeatedly so I missed out on this boat entirely The Stranger: Being a D$MP!R4nboo enjoyer dealing with other alleged D$MP!R4nboo enjoyers who like D$MP!R4nboo but not D$MP!Techn0blade. This is the strongest one by far. This made me viscerally understand the name I Do Not Know You for the Stranger. This is fucking terrifying. These Benchtrio-main-Boreal-denier devotees wear the skin of a R4nboo enjoyer but there is nothing behind those eyes. I can’t explain it but it’s somehow the single-character equivalent of shipping the first white twinks your eyes fall on when you get into a fandom. This is the sexymanification of that funny enderman. They claim to like R4nboo, but they don’t like R4nboo. They like Something Else. They like a character that doesn’t exist. They hate a character just as nonexistent. But they’re in the tag, they’re drawing the fanart, they’re even reblogging some of your jokes, but you look at their blog and their takes and how their posts read and somehow you know that whatever they are they are not one of you  The Extinction: By this point in the post it should be clear that I think that streamers as a concept are a manifestation of the Extinction. The End: Streamers are kept alive past cancellation and as either side escalates they only live longer. The slow decay of these systems would be something I revel in, but it will nver come. TMA says the End is all powerful, that all it must do is wait, but this is I think proof of concept that it’s not really true. There is no inevitable decline. There is no fear of death here. There is only the fear of filthy, mundane immortality and the corpses of running gags resurrected for more YouTube clicks

[kuroopaisen]

@kacchand (i couldn't tag your main but i wanted to make sure you saw this fdlkjfdlkj) 

hello dear! i’m sorry it took me so long to respond to this dflskjfdlkfdj i decided to answer your ask in a text post so i can link my thoughts to yours more easily! also, i know i'm going to Ramble, so i wanted to be able to keep it under a cut sdlkfjd

Hi rowan!! I've just finished the final chapter of aot and I just wanted to ask your opinion on it!

(SPOILERS THAT DEPICT MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE STORY'S MEANING AHEAD. READ ONLY IF YOU'VE FINISHED THE CHAPTER)

(FR )

(THERE'S STILL TIME TO BACK OUT)

(DO IT NOW. SPOILER ALERT)

I'd also like to ask a follow up question about it, because it seems that I've come to a different concl. from many of my friends and I'm feeling dumb abt how i feel w it.

first of all (and i say this as sincerely as possible, and if i'm coming off as condesending please let me know hh), please don't feel dumb because you've come to a different conclusion :(

we all read media at different levels (i���ve been told it’s ‘not that deep’ before fdljkfsdlkj) and identify different aspects in it, so the fact that you've had a different experience to some of your friends is absolutely not a reflection on your intelligence. and if anyone's making you feel that way, drop their @. i just want to talk :) furthermore, you’re not wrong for responding to something emotionally, especially if it really... makes you uncomfortable, you know? 

i'm from the PH & I've put off determining whether i'm comfy w the manga til the last chap,,,, but is it wrong that I can't shake the feeling that it's a justification of japanese expansionism and genocide? ik this manga has always been in the grey area, and that's what I love abt it! It often shows that no choice they make is absolutely good or bad, and does such a good job at showing you how each complex character came to that understanding (role of environment, etc...) but this last chapter felt too positive abt the rumbling? Like it was justified because paradis was able to advance and there wasn't much choice? idk.

that's totally valid! some of the best think pieces on the show i read mentioned that the concern with the narrative is less "is isayama a nazi sympathiser?" (he most likely isn't), but if he's a imperial japan apologist. and...

well, let's just say that my father is british, and when i was trying to say that colonisation was bad, using british india as an example, he said "well, we gave them railroads." it's... it's uncomfortable and gross and i think it encapsulates how countries with imperial pasts tend to talk about them; even if they don't officially endorse it, there's often a lot of talk about how "well colonialism was good for this country, actually--"

and if the manga felt like it was justifying japanese expansionism, then chances are it had elements that very much did point towards that. i've had a lot of trouble grappling with reiner, annie and bertolt, because they've existed in this grey area of 'victim of oppression' and 'war criminal'; and their existence raises the question of "do people who commit war crimes simply do what needs to be done?" and by victimising them it... it plays into the whole nuremberg defense of "i was just following orders". it's making you feel bad for the people committing said war crimes (and similarly with eren, and all the awful things he's done). but i'll get more into this point later dsfkjfd

i haven't read the last chapter yet (and don't worry about spoilers! i've been approaching aot from a very... specific perspective anyway, so i actually don't mind spoilers -- i read a bunch of analyses of the series before i'd even watched it hh), but... i think if it came off as too positive about, you know... an awful thing that happened, then it absolutely makes sense that you'd feel uncomfortable?

the modernisation narrative in general is one that always skeeves me out. it's one japanese imperialists use to justify the invasion of korea (and even those infamous tweets from the one account purported to be isayama talk about how the population of korea boomed under japanese imperial occupation, which... stop.)

it's also commonly invoked in cases of development. certain members of society (usually the poor), just 'had' to die for the good of the future. who gives a damn if they consent to that? they have to.

similarly, the 'we had no choice' narrative. that's... a concerning one that crops up time and again with history apologists, the argument that "oh if x country hadn't done y, then someone else would've!" or that acts of aggression were done as pre-emptive self-defence, which is so... ugh. i just. i just hate it.

It also feels really weird w the ymir and the whole loving fritz thing. i wish we got to see more of her thought process and what conclusion she came to that led her to destroying the power of the titans.

i... hate this so much. i get that abuse is complicated and victims often have multifaceted feelings towards their abusers, but... most people would focus on that in their story? the story would be about that? but instead, it's just... a thing in the history of the world and that's... icky.

also having the genesis of the titans come from a slave girl in love with her captor... there's many levels of ick to it and i highly doubt it was handled with the appropriate level of grace and sensitivity.

honestly, this might be one of the things that pissed me off the most because of how... contradictory her backstory was with That One Chapter (you know, instead of ymir crying because she wants to be free or because she’s been trapped she........ wants to see mikasa kiss eren’s decapitated head? i guess? what the fuck?) 

idk...I just think that context is sometimes everything. and i understand that media can portray incorrect things,,,, and that isayama likely didn't intend for it to become a global sensation, but i guess i'm just uncomfortable w the right wing nazis getting a comfort book ahaha.

i totally get that! even if attack on titan is meant to be anti-fascists, the fact of the matter is... a lot of fascists love it. and relate to it. which is... alarming. especially given just how popular aot is worldwide.

it’s hard because before the ending, attack on titan did feel like it was more grey; i remember saying that i wouldn’t know how to feel about it until the ending because the story was either saying “the military is corrupt and war is hell”, or it was saying “the military is corrupt and war is hell, but it is necessary.” 

still sorting out my thoughts, but yeah. I think i'm having a hard time understanding what they really accomplished with the rumbling and how they gave eren a sudden lelouch role and a lot of how they made it out to be a happy thing? perhaps I'm too biased to see it fully but to me it gives a "woah. eren was a hero. he saved us from destruction. those people needed to die for us to achieve this temporary peace and new start". i suppose the rumbling gave them a levelled playing ground?

OH MY GOOOOOD okay. i haven't finished code geass. but i really don't like lelouch. i mean... i think i just don't like characters that sacrifice other people for a purported 'greater good' (i could write an Essay about how much i hate erwin smith looking at him is enough to send me into an unhinged rage), but where i'm up to in the anime, i don't like the direction they're going with eren? i mean, i've never liked eren, but... that whole "martyr for the eldians" is just. ew. especially when you see several eldian characters disagree and resist him. 

why does this one guy get to make choices for everyone else? because he’s sPeCiAL? fuck off 

sorry for not being coherent. maybe i'm basing this too much on feelings ahaha. trust aot to finish it's scandalous run with a scandalous end.

no omg you're being perfectly coherent :( also, if anyone's making you feel bad or stupid for how you experience media, they’re... definitely not as smart as they think they are fdslskjfdlk. 

i'm of that mind that, while media consumption is in part an intellectual exercise, it is inherently very emotional; narrative media tries to make us feel as much as it makes us think. that’s what stories are for, you know? intellectual analysis is well and good but what’s the point of a story if it doesn’t make you feel anything?

that's to say, i don't believe there's such thing as basing your opinion too much on feelings :') especially since it's your personal experience with a piece of media; you don't owe anyone 'objectivity' (which is always a farce when it comes to this sort of thing) or 'logical analysis', because nobody's got any right to criticise you for engaging with media the 'wrong way'.

tl;dr I feel like the mood was too celebratory abt the rumbling, and didn't entail enough on the tragedy so much that it felt like a justification for genocide and expansionism. how do you feel abt it's ending and the message it leaves? is isayama responsible to give a morally correct answer to the cycle of hatred? you're not obligated to answer! and sorry for the rambling.

hhh yeah i guess that’s the thing at the end of the day... is isayama responsible for giving a “morally correct” answer? no, but the way the ending plays out is very telling. 

like armin thanking eren? mikasa’s e n t i r e character boiling down to being in love with a mass murderer no matter how poorly he’s treated her? and one could argue that kind of ending is supposed to be unsettling, supposed to hint that the cycle will just continue, but...

framing is everything. and it’s framed like a Good, Emotional Thing, Aren’t We So Grateful Eren Did All Those Awful Things 

YI think I would've been fine if we got to see more of Eren's or Yif you have a different perspective on how eren is being portrayed please do share! I just felt really yucky watching armin say "thanks for murdering all those people for us" with love,,, I suppose he was trying to make eren feel better. ach maybe I'm just overreacting. idk. im dumb ahaha . i'll send this in anyway cuz I'd love to hear your take!

HHHHHHH i just hate eren and i never got him. i felt bad for him in the beginning, but he's always been too... violent for me. there was a very short period of time in season 2 where i felt bad for him, but otherwise it’s just been... ugh. the main three have always been the weakest part of the series imo, so it’s really not surprising they’re part of the reason the ending was so. bad. 

and... well, that one infamous quote pretty much sums up my issue with armin. he's supposed to be the 'intelligent' one, but he's hopelessly devoted to a homicidal maniac with whom he has a very artificial, unbelievable bond with.

at the end of the day, the "thank you for becoming our monster" thing just makes it seem like attack on titan's core message is "war is horrible, but it is necessary." it feels like it's justifying massacre. and while fiction is fiction, and sometimes it's as simple as that, i think something as politically loaded as attack on titan needs to be looked at with a critical lens when discussing what it’s trying to say or what it means. 

do i think it makes someone a Bad Person for liking aot or being attached to it in some way? no, because that’s dumb, and what media someone likes =/= their Moral Goodness TM. ofc trends are a thing and certain pieces of media appeal to certain types of people, but it’s a false equivalency that misses the point. 

but by that same breath, nobody is wrong or stupid or has Less Valid Opinions just because what they took away from it makes them uncomfortable. 

i’m sorry this is So Long i have so many thoughts about this dskljfslkj 

but at the end of the day, 

levi sexy

[thexxphiles]

So I’ve been off tumblr for a long ass time and by chance I was catching up on as much as I could stomach within throwing up. Mostly reading my pal @justholdinghandsok blog. And what a shit show it is around here. Christ fuck almighty. I originally joined tumblr in 2015 on my first blog gillovnyphile. While there have ALWAYS been lunatics here (like the shit bags that STALKED ME IN REAL LIFE AND CALLED MY CLINIC AND MY DADS CLINIC) and fandom factions (the Gillian fans - some who were very nice- and then the subset of complete whack jobs who believe she is a divine goddess not of this earth who has no faults, makes no mistakes, never dates anti feminist men who failed to pay the LEAD ACTRESS on his show the same as her male costar. Oh, wait, wasn’t Gillian incensed when it happened to her in 2015? Well, her memory is spotty, after all. The only thing she can seem to remember is the size of her platonic male friend costars dick.) And she handled press for season 11 just so…professionally. I don’t see anything wrong about talking about your pubescent son’s erection on national TV. I thought it made perfect sense to announce she was done with the show before the season even STARTED because that was sure to drive up ratings. But that’s not all! Then there’s this group of incredibly fucking spooky Duchovny cult that seems to be compromised of old men, lonely women and 12 year olds who are orgasming over their beloved “private concert” with the greatest musician of our time, David “mid life crisis” Duchovny. Who in the actual fuck would pay more than 15 cents to listen to that fool caterwauling through his “brilliant” lyrics. I mean, fuck Prince or Bowie or Beyoncé or Adele. Those guys are/were hacks compared to the musical stylings of a 58 year old guy with a thirsty as fuck barely legal girlfriend. And, look, I always always liked D more than G because G is just so goddamned extra. I met them both at Gillovnycon 2016 with my boo @xfiles9316 and another person…well we won’t go there. Just remember don’t give money to anyone on tumblr even your “friends”. G was pretty cold and unfriendly and sort of scared me. Meanwhile D was totally nice and we had a good chat. We shook hands. After the high of that con (and I met some TRULY Special fans there) we were headed for a fall and it hit in October 2016. I’ll never forget that day because I had my first panic attack. I knew it was true from day one (though I understood people not wanting to believe it.) the only good thing was that I had processed all that grief and had become apathetic by the time the porn pictures showed up the following summer. It was painful to look at. But then this whole sub fandom of (what are they called? Gorgos or something? They should call themselves Reptilian (get it…one’s a reptile and one’s Gillian. I dunno, I think it’s catchy.) who made it their life’s work to shit on and fight with Gillovny fans and post…unflattering, and I’m being kind, pictures of their new obsession. Is PM problematic? Of course he fucking is. But so is she so maybe it is true love (until PM writes the part for her she’s been angling for since before she met him. Career ALWAYS comes first for her. She’s said it. At least she’s practical I guess. At this point you need a goddamned scorecard to figure out who is fighting with who. It’s such an incredible waste of time. Don’t you guys work? I’m at clinic 13 hours a day and work about 65 hours a week. I just remember all the fun we used to have when there were great blogs and awesome pictures and GIF sets and analyzing body language and waiting for the next inappropriate tweet. Was it all a lie? Was it just a game Gillian was playing as she stated once? I’m still not sure. But what I will say is that I believed then and I believe now that those two were involved from 2012-2016 in some way. As someone who could have gotten a PhD in the time, energy, intellectual analysis and research I did from 2015-2016 I will always believe it was real in some way we may never understand. Do I think they’ll get back together? I’m not sure. I’m more hopeful at at least seeing them at SOME con in the future and at the end of the day what I always truly wanted for them is to have a beautiful special friendship- soulmates of some kind - that lasts their whole lives. To the old guard (god knows how you guys do it) I just want to say hi and that I miss you guys and NEVER TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE @campaignofmisinformation, @bird3000, @whoisbillymilesand, of course, @justholdinghandsok. And any of you cunts calling her a liar can eat Peter Morgan’s disgusting hairy ass. Over the years I’ve had numerous numerous conversations with her and she’s a solid, kind, calm, smart truthful woman who doesn’t deserve your vile disgusting bullshit. And because this place is such a cesspool of unstable… people I fully expect to get attacked and get death threats and all the usual sociopathic unhinged behavior you’re famous for. And I give not one shit because I’m smart enough now to know that nothing good ever comes from this place and I check in roughly once a year anyway. Have at it fuckers.

[postspnfinalearchive]

Beefs between cast and crew??? + Unhinged Fans

Note: This sub-masterpost is continuously being edited with more source links and updated with more information.

Find our main masterpost for all post-spn finale drama here!

Actors versus writers and producers

Mark Sheppard, Andrew Dabb, and Producers

Mark Sheppard doesn’t appear to like Andrew Dabb’s writing choices very much. (Gifs posted to Tumblr)

Jensen Ackles and Sera Gamble

Jensen Ackles and Sera Gamble may have had a beef back in season 7, over Misha’s character being killed off. (Gifs posted to Tumblr)

Jensen Ackles and Robbie Thompson on Charlie’s death

Jensen Ackles revealed at All Hell Breaks Loose 6 (2015), in a panel with Mark Sheppard, that he was upset about the decision to kill Charlie. “I was asking Bob Singer about it, and he said that they go where the story takes them, which I think is complete crap. I think that they build up these characters—these wonderful characters up--uh… and especially ones that really… uh, that resonate with fans, and then they’re like, ‘Well… we need something to spice up the storyline… we’ve got to throw a grenade right now… what do we do? Let’s kill Charlie!’” (Video uploaded to Tumblr + transcript) (A fan’s live tweets from 2015 posted to Tumblr) (Link to video on Twitter)

Robbie Thompson also stated at SPNDePaul that he fought for Charlie not be killed off.  (Fan live tweets posted to Tumblr)

Jared Padalecki and Robbie Thompson

Jared Padalecki lashes out at former Supernatural writer Robbie Thompson in a later deleted tweet, referencing the Shakespeare play Julius Caesar when he says, “@rthompson1138 Et tu brute?? Wow. What a trully [sic] awful thing you’ve done. #Bravo you coward.” After Robbie was announced to be working on a prequel to Supernatural with Jensen Ackles, which Jared said he did not know about. (Hollywood Reporter article) (article from ET Canada) (Twitter screenshots posted to Tumblr)

Crew

In 2013, a former crew member talks about being frustrated by actors goofing off on set, adding time to production. The crew member also says in another reply, “Yeah, I've worked on a bunch of other shows up here but Supernatural was by far the hardest! To be fair, the boys [Jared, Jensen, and Misha] are really nice guys.” (Screenshots from reddit posted to Tumblr + transcript) (Link to reddit post) (Link to reddit comment) (Link to reddit comment confirming it’s the Supernatural set) (older screenshots of this thread posted to Tumblr )

Actors versus actors

Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles

Jared Padalecki lashes out at Jensen Ackles on Twitter on June 24th, 2021 after Jensen and his wife Danneel announce plans for a prequel series called “The Winchesters”. He says that he is “gutted” and implies that Jensen betrayed him in a deleted Tweet making reference to Shakespeare’s Julius Cesar. He also insists it is not a joke when a fan asks him. After the two speak on the phone, Jared tweets that everything is fine, and Jensen replies back implying that he was busy and misses how much he and Jared used to get the chance to talk.  (Hollywood Reporter article) (article from ET Canada) (Twitter screenshots posted to Tumblr)

Some fans claim that during the course of posting his upset Tweets, Jared unfollowed and re-followed both Jensen and Misha at some point, for at least a few minutes. However, we vetted this rumor and determined that it is not true. (Our process in vetting this claim here)

In an interview with the New York Times published August 12, 2021, Jared implies that his comments on Twitter were misunderstood: “It’s hard to tweet a specific tone”, and says that there is no bad blood between him and Jensen. He further states that Jensen was not trying to keep a secret from him. “It was just something that he [Jensen] didn’t feel really even existed yet.”Jared also adds, “I love Jensen deeply. He's my brother—he has been for many years, and he always will be, no matter what." (New York Times article—behind paywall) (Screenshots of relevant Q&A posted to Tumblr) (Free article with relevant quotes)

A fan on Twitter alleges to have an anonymous source from Jensen’s meet and greet [confirmed authentic] at Denver Con 2021 who relays that Jensen did not purposefully exclude Jared from knowledge of the prequel. Before they were ready to talk to anyone about it or announce it, the pitch for The Winchesters was leaked to Deadline and Jensen was filming The Boys and couldn’t immediately address it. There was no intent to maliciously exclude Jared. (Screenshots from Twitter posted to Tumblr) (Link to twitter thread). [This meet & greet is confirmed 11/9/21 when a fan leeks a recording of what was said. (Video uploaded to Tumblr + Transcript) (Link to video on Twitter) (gifset posted on Tumblr)]

Actors versus Unhinged Fans

In a podcast interview with Malik Yoba and Alaina Huffman in December 2020, Misha talks about fans who don’t understand boundaries and a few who have thought that tweets he made were messages meant for them specifically. He mentions that some fans being “weird and scary” have caused him to post fewer photos of his children online. (transcript)

In a podcast interview with Misha, Malik Yoba, and Alaina Huffman in December 2020, Alaina mentions a situation on Twitter where unhinged fans of Jared lashed out against Misha for not thanking Jared for attending a charity even that Jared had not been to yet when Misha left. These fans claimed that Misha hates Jared. They both talked about how crazy it was and how it couldn’t be further from the truth. (transcript)

In a podcast interview with Malik Yoba and Alaina Huffman in December 2020, Misha talks about bronlies having his Facebook account taken down and trying to slander his reputation by making up lies about him siphoning money from his own charity. He describes how they considered him “public enemy number one”. (transcript)

In a podcast interview with Malik Yoba and Alaina Huffman in December 2020, Misha says that himself, Jared, and Jensen have had false police reports filed against them and have had to hire security consultants to deal with people “making weird threats against our families” (transcript)

At two different conventions, Misha and Jensen have (together) addressed specific demeaning experiences they’ve had in photo lines from fans wanting pictures of the two of them together, including a fan calling them her “bitches”, requests for the two of them to kiss (which they claim they did, having “given up”), and demands that they share food “Lady and the Tramp” style. (Transcript from SPNDC 2019) (Transcript from JIBCON 2016)

[jewrocker]

Dear, Twitter:  The Guy Whose Account Helped Cause the Deaths of Four People is Already Back Online, Yet I’m Still Banned?

Full disclosure:  There’s no love lost between myself and the nice folks at Twitter.  The past year alone has seen them suspend/block/delete my account at least four times, mostly for trolling upstanding patriots like Mitch McConnell, Matt Gaetz, Lindsey Graham, etc.  Case in point, my latest account, which remains in limbo in the Phantom Zone as we speak, was locked simply for tweeting “The empty-headed bimbo who dies at the opening of a flick about strip club murders has more credibility than Kayleigh McEnany.”  Twitter accused me of “promoting violence” and immediately suspended my account. 

The criteria for becoming the focus of the tech behemoth’s wrath is incredibly vague and almost ‘roulette-like’, in as much as the world’s largest communication platform seems to have no issue relying on trigger-happy interns, bots, and/or algorithms to play judge/jury/executioner, unable to discern/separate sarcastic/sardonic tweets from ones with serious intent, seemingly picking and choosing at random any user they deem to have violated their beyond hypocritical policies.  

Twitter’s “appeals” process is an absolute joke; Most of the time, the arrogant arbitrators of "Truth” don’t even bother giving you a reason as to why you’re suspended to begin with.  Instead, you just receive an ominous chyron at the bottom of your Twitter account: 

Upon attempting to appeal your jail sentence, you’re not permitted contact w/ an actual human being.  Instead, you’re taken to an FAQ page, whereby, it’s up to you to decide what, exactly, you did wrong and click the correct link which takes you to yet another page with various, potential “crimes” you may have committed.  Once you determine which area of the Twitter Constitution you violated, you’re then left to click on a simple “file an appeal,” at which point, you’re given a total of about three lines to explain your situation. No room for dilly-dallying.  The odds of actually getting a response? 50/50.  The odds of that response being in your favor?  Zero.  

Since there’s no opportunity for the average user to reach a live human being at Twitter, I took it upon myself to reach out to Jon Wegman, Twitter’s Head of Customer Experience, and tell him exactly what my experience as a customer has been.  His reply was sincere and apologetic, even admitting the above issues, and stating, “...We continue to be challenged with deciphering satire, political nuance, and contextual references for cultural memes and country-specific content.  It’s a big job we take seriously. There is more that we need to do to make it clear "why" we take / don't take action.”  However, a few week later, when my account was suspended again, and, again, I was not given a reason, Jon didn’t respond.  Smart guy.   

Meanwhile, Twitter - and Facebook, as well - have spent the past four years kowtowing and playing favorites to a president whose done everything he possibly can to violate every single one of their policies; be it hate speech,  the dissemination of false/misleading information, intentionally calling for/inciting violence, etc., etc.  It’s almost as if there’s a Trump supporter overseeing the controls in the Death Star. 

There are so many things wrong with this mind-boggling ambivalence on the part of the world’s most popular communication tool, it’s beyond words.  Forget the fact that the president violates one of Twitter’s “Main Commandments” on an hourly basis.  That being:

“You may not engage in the targeted harassment of someone, or incite other people to do so.”  

Take away every tweet in which Trump has either directly harassed, or called for the harassment/public shaming of one of his critics and/or opponents, and you’re left with about six on the economy.  Out of over a hundred thousand.  If that’s not bias, I don’t know what is.  

How can we forget the Trump campaign releasing a video depicting the president as the mass-murdering ’Thanos’ from the Avengers, showing the president waving his hand and eviscerating the entire Congressional Impeachment delegation?  Did the folks at Twitter suspend his deplorable offspring for retweeting such blatant hate speech and for all-but-calling for the deaths of these elected officials?  Did they at least suspend the accounts of those running Trump’s campaign who created the ad and who thought it was a good idea to publicly advocate for the annihilation of his rivals?  

Did they do this because, as our Commander-in-Chief, he -as well as the people around him - should be held to higher standards than your average Twitter user? Did they do anything at all?  What about the other violent video, in which the president is featured as “The Kingsman”, assassinating church goers - including entire news organizations -as well as shooting president Obama in the face?  Did they do anything then?  You guessed it. 

Now, here we are.  After years of standing around doing nothing as the Human Chernobyl and his team of deplorable sycophants spewed their hate, lies, and Democracy-destroying rhetoric, someone’s finally died as a direct result of this president’s shameful conduct, as well as at the hands of an irresponsible, unaccountable social media giant who seems to think they play little-to-no role in what occurred yesterday.  

After half a decade of allowing this dangerous/deplorable behavior to go completely unchecked, pundits everywhere reacted as if Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg should get the Medal of Freedom for finally taking action and slapping the orange infant on the wrist with disclaimers.  Obviously, it didn’t work, as the misinformation still got out.  And now, less than twenty-four hours after multiple deaths, Trump’s Twitter account is back online. And his Facebook page, any minute.  

Back in 2010, I sued Facebook for $1 for calling me a spammer.  The suit went nowhere, but I was successful in forcing them to the table for a conference call, in which I implored them to create a user support department, staffed by actual human beings, for their billions of customers. A few months later, they did. 

Should the biggest entities for conversation/communication/breaking news the world has ever seen continue to be allowed to operate free of oversight?  To reap the financial/social rewards they get by providing such a platform and, in turn, not be subjected to any rules, outside of the ones they provide for themselves?  Seems a tad one-sided.  Especially since they’re now publicly traded companies.

It may take generations to recover from such a traumatic, incessant, daily assault on our senses, on the Truth, and our world as a whole.  And, for providing our unhinged POTUS a soapbox virtually free of consequences, Twitter’s role cannot be understated.

Social media has become the primary way of communication for 99% of modern society - not to mention a trillion dollar behemoth that’s virtually unregulated.  It’s about time these Titans of Text were held accountable to their users, from whom, they generate one hundred percent of their value.  Til then, keep a look out for my tenth Twitter profile.   

[live-in-fury]

AU where neither of them play hockey and are actors instead. really really good actors. inspired by this gifset and my tags on it, sorta. (also on AO3.)

Jonny successfully ignores his phone the first few times it vibrates on his night stand, but when it’s clear it won’t stop he begrudgingly reaches over and checks it.

The first thing he sees is a missed call from his brother. When he scrolls down, he sees multiple missed calls from his parents, agent, publicist, and friends.

He takes a minute to process this. These could be pity calls. ‘I can’t believe you were snubbed, you were so amazing’ calls. Or they could be congratulatory.

He hesitantly calls his agent back.

“Where the fuck are you?” Seabs shouts when he picks up.

“Home…”

“Why weren’t you picking up?”

“I was sleeping.”

“You were sleeping? You were sleep- they announced the Oscar nominations and you couldn’t be bothered because you were sleeping?” Seabs asks.

“Just tell me, did I get it or not?” Jonny says, his patience wearing thin.

“Yes, Jonny,” Seabs growls. “Of course you got it, did you even doubt it?”

Jonny lets out a sigh of relief. “You never know, man.”

Jonny was nominated for Best Actor in all of the awards shows leading up to the Oscars. He won a SAG and a People’s Choice, but Patrick Kane had managed to snag the Golden Globe. Patrick was admittedly great in his movie about being stranded in the Antarctic, but Jonny didn't think he was better than himself.

“Did Kane get a nomination too?” Jonny asks, purely curious.

“Yes, Jonathan,” Seabs huffs. “Lover boy got one too.”

“Fuck off,” Jonny groans.

Seabs is convinced Jonny has a thing for Patrick which, if the guy wasn’t such a dick, he probably would. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t fine him attractive, but that’s all there is to him. The media likes making a big deal out of the two of them because their openly gay and single.

“Congrats, man,” Seabs says. “Text me when you’re free, we have things to plan.”

“Thanks,” Jonny says before hanging up.

He holds off on calling his family back and decides to scroll through his Twitter feed instead. He’s humbled by all the nice things people are saying about him and the movie. He stops at one tweet in particular.

@88PKane: Honored for the nom. @jonathantoews better bring your A+ suit game

Jonny rolls his eyes and replies.

@jonathantoews: Worry about yourself first @88PKane

The replies, likes, and retweets to it are almost instantaneous. People think they’re joking, that they pretend to constantly hate each other to be funny. It’s no joke to Jonny.

*

Friday night finds Jonny in a packed house party thrown by one of his close friends. He very rarely goes to these because he hates overly socializing with people in the industry. They only ever gossip and talk about themselves.

Jonny attends the party only because Sharpy’s throwing it. Jonny worked with Sharpy a few years about on a movie about a dystopian future and they’d stayed close since.

“Lighten up, Toes,” Sharpy says, shoving a drink in his face. “Smile.”

Jonny rolls his eyes and takes the cup. “I hate these things.”

“I know. Thanks for coming anyway,” Sharpy says.

“Yeah, well,” he says, shrugging. He looks out into the crowd and catches a glimpse of curly blonde hair. “Why is he here?”

Sharpy follows his gaze, then smiles. “Thought you’d want him here.”

“Why would I want that?” Jonny says, defensively.

“Calm down,” Sharpy says. “You don’t have to keep up the charade around me.”

“What are you talking about?” Jonny asks, confused.

“It’s all a joke, right? You’re not actually mortal enemies…”

“We are,” Jonny says. “Why do people keep thinking the opposite?”

A grin slowly appears on Sharpy’s face. “Maybe because you two can’t stop talking about each other.”

“I don’t-” Jonny starts to say, but quickly realizes that it’s probably true. He spends too much of his free time thinking about, talking about, and googling Patrick Kane. But it’s all for work purposes, he needs to know what his competition is up to. “Whatever.”

Sharpy smirks. Something catches his eye behind Jonny.

“So you don’t think Patrick Kane is attractive?” Sharpy asks.

“Stop putting words in my mouth,” Jonny says, frustrated.

“Is that a no?”

“That’s a mind your own fucking business,” Jonny says.

Sharpy puts his hands up and backs away.

Jonny sighs in relief, he didn’t like where that conversation was heading.

“So yes or no?” someone asks from behind him.

Jonny spins around to come face to face with Patrick.

“What?” Jonny asks, frazzled.

“Do you find me attractive, Jonny?” Patrick asks, tongue poking out between his teeth and then slowly sliding over his bottom lip.

“Uh,” Jonny says, forgetting the question. “What?”

“I’ll take that as a yes?” Patrick says, taking a step closer so that they were practically chest to chest.

“What?” Jonny asks again. He’s trying desperately to get a hold on his thoughts, but it’s like they keep flying away from him when he gets close.

Patrick smiles wide and leans in even more. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty hot too,” Patrick whispers in Jonny’s ear, wet lips catching on his earlobe.

Jonny can’t keep from shuddering at the feeling and the words. It only gets worse when Patrick places a lingering kiss on Jonny’s cheek.

Patrick steps back and winks.

Just like that, Jonny’s no longer at a loss for words. Anger starts seeping into him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Jonny asks, shoving Patrick further away.

“I thought-I,” Patrick fumbles for words.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Jonny says, frustrated. He doesn’t know why he stopped breathing when Patrick came so close to him. He doesn’t get why his stomach rolled and all of his blood rushed to his dick when Patrick’s lips touched his skin.

So Patrick heard Jonny finds him attractive and used it against him. Patrick’s a dick, what’s new?

Patrick looks shocked and a little bit annoyed. He searches Jonny’s face for something and whatever it is, he must find it because he puts his hands up like Sharpy did and backs away.

Good fucking riddance, Jonny thinks.

*

The Oscars are a few weeks later and Jonny’s spent the day with a pit in his stomach. He wants to get it over with.

“Hey, man!” Patrick shouts as he walks down the red carpet towards him.

Jonny’s sweltering in the L.A. heat. He’s had a fake smile on for a while, but now he has to kick it up a notch.

“Patrick!” he says, as the man approaches him. “How’ve you been?”

“Been okay, can’t complain too much, right?” Patrick says, grinning. “How about you?”

“Same, I guess,” Jonny says, aiming for polite but falling short. “I’ll see you inside, yeah?”

Patrick nods, smile still not leaving his face.

Jonny leans over for a curtesy hug and can’t help but whisper into Patrick’s ear, “Maybe you should win. This is some phenomenal acting you’re doing.”

“Acting?” Patrick asks, looking confused.

“Yeah, acting like we can stand each other,” Jonny says, pulling away. “Good luck,” he says, loudly for the cameras that might be watching.

He leaves Patrick standing there with his jaw unhinged.

*

“And the winner for Best Actor goes to…Jonathan Toews,” Brandon Saad announces.

Patrick’s in shock, he’s here with Seabs who pulls him into a hug and all but shoves him towards the stage.

Jonny has a little speech prepared, he’s not going to lie and say he didn’t think he’d win, it was possible. He doesn’t say anything too original, just the mundane thanks.

He looks out into the audience before he says his final words and sees Patrick Kane grinning up at him, as if he’s happy for him even though he just lost. Why is Jonny the only one who can see through his bullshit?

“And I’d like to thank my fellow nominees: Corey, Duncan, Joel, I look up to all of you and I’m honored to be included in a category with such phenomenal actors,” Jonny says before laughter and applause breaks out.

He’s glad that not only did people realize he left Patrick off the list of names, but that they actually found it funny. No one will think he was being rude, but Patrick will know.

Jonny glances back down at Patrick before he leaves the stage and sees his smile faltering before picking back up again as a camera man rushes over to get his reaction. Jonny squints in confusion. That’s his fake smile?

*

Jonny attends the after party hoping he can sneak out after making him presence known.

He’s talking to Seabs in a corner of the room when Patrick approaches him.

“Mind if I borrow him for a second?” Patrick asks.

Seabs shrugs. “He’s all yours, but try to keep your hands to yourself till you get home,” Seabs says, winking at them before walking away.

“He thinks we’re hooking up?” Patrick asks, looking disgusted by the idea.

The look makes Jonny feel uneasy for some reason.

“He’s joking, but you don’t have to act like just the idea is going to make you puke,” Jonny grumbles.

“It doesn’t!” Patrick says, defensively. “I just...didn’t think that was an option?”

“Well it’s not,” Jonny says, quickly before Patrick gets any ideas. “What did you want?”

“Why are you such an asshole?” Patrick asks.

Jonny rolls his eyes. “Like you’re not one too.”

“I’m not,” Patrick says. “I’m always joking when I’m mean to you on social media and stuff, but why do I get the feeling you mean the things you say about me?”

“You’re always joking?” Jonny repeats, mockingly.

“You don’t believe me?”

“You are a great actor,” Jonny says, smirking.

“Why do you hate me?” Patrick asks, quietly.

Jonny thinks about it for a second. “I don’t hate you, we just have this rivalry thing going on. Since we were teenagers we’ve always been auditioning for the same roles. We’ve always had this back and forth thing.”

“No, it’s more like you say some mean shit and then for the sake of keeping my dignity, I have to say shit back,” Patrick says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’re telling me you’ve never meant anything bad you’ve said about me or to me?” Jonny asks.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Oh,” Jonny says.

“I always thought you were joking too until recently and after tonight it’s pretty obvious you meant everything you said,” Patrick says, sounding hurt.

“I didn’t-I’m sorry. I thought you were faking being happy for me, I just snapped. I think reacting rudely to you is a way to protect myself. You got your big break before me when we were younger and I was always jealous of that,” Jonny admits.

“But what about now? We’re both on the same playing field. I mean, fuck, Jonny, you just won an Oscar, there’s nothing I have to be jealous of,” Patrick says.

“I don’t know,” Jonny says, shrugging. “There just something about you that makes me want to put my guard up.”

Patrick cracks a smile. “Maybe it’s my devastatingly handsome looks.”

Jonny can’t help but smile back. “Or maybe it’s your modesty.”

“Yup, it’s that, definitely my modesty,” Patrick says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You’re an idiot,” Jonny says, chuckling as gently shoves Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick grins back at him and he’s finally seeing it at face value, no hidden meanings behind it.

*

It’s been weeks since the Oscars and in that time Patrick has quickly become one of Jonny’s good friends.

They talk a lot through text and hang out when they can get away from the paparazzi. But mainly they stick to flirting with each other on Twitter.

@jonathantoews: .@88PKane is such a hunk! Check out the latest issue of GQ for his spread and interview!

@88PKane: I didn’t even ask @jonathantoews to promote this. He’s just that sweet <3

@88PKane: when bae is on TV <33 @jonathantoews --- @julia329: @88PKane @jonathantoews are you guys dating? --- @88PKane: @julia329 I wish!!

@jonathantoews: wishing everyone a happy valentine’s day! Especially you, @88pkane ;)

@88PKane: oh and happy bday to @jonathantoews you old man --- @jonathantoews: @88PKane thanks dood.. Who is aging faster? --- @jonathantoews: Thx man, seriously though what’s with the no-follow ---@88PKane:@jonathantoews Sorry, didn’t think you would be interesting enough to follow. Here’s your follow sir

@jonathantoews:I guess I am an old man if I don’t know what a goat or a dad is on Twitter… @88PKane ur so cool what are these people talking about?

@jonathantoews: Ha thx guys.. happy to know I’m not getting chirped 100% of the time.. And yeah I read the tweets, fans you guys are the real GOATs.

@jonathantoews: @88PKane u are an actual GOAT.. Ok I’m done for the day

Flirting so blatantly is a terrible idea, the media and fans keep asking them questions about it , but since Patrick isn’t complaining, neither is Jonny.

At first Jonny couldn’t figure out if Patrick’s flirty tweets were genuine or not, but after receiving similar texts from him, it’s safe to say he means them.

Jonny’s getting into bed when Patrick calls him.

“Hey,” he says, instantly scolding himself for how fond he sounds.

“Hi,” Patrick says.

“What’s up?”

“So since you’re Canadian, you can skate, right? Or should I say ‘eh’?” Patrick replies.

“Yes, Patrick, I know how to ice skate.”

“Great, so you know Bowman right? He’s producing a movie and wants me to sign on as one of the main leads. He asked if I had a suggestion for the other one, and I was hoping maybe you could do it?”

Jonny bites back a grin. Acting with Patrick would be quite an experience.

“What’s it about?” Jonny asks.

“It’s about an NHL team that’s doing pretty badly. They haven’t made the playoffs in years and are losing their fan base, but then they draft two amazing players who help bring the franchise back from the dead and win a whole bunch of Cups, all while falling in love.”

Jonny’s mind goes blank at Patrick’s last few words. If he signs on, his and Patrick’s characters would be falling in love on screen. It’d probably include sappy moments and kisses.

“So yeah, that’s the premise. I can email you the script if you want, I was-“

“Yes,” Jonny says, without hesitation.

“Yes, I should email you the script?”

“No! I mean, yes please do that, but I also want in.”

“You haven’t even read it yet,” Patrick says, and Jonny thinks he can hear him smiling.

“We’d be the two players who turn things around, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Then I’m in.”

“Didn’t know you wanted to kiss me that badly.”

Jonny groans. “Patrick,” he scolds him.

“What?” Patrick answers, feigning innocence.

“Don’t say that when I’m not around to actually kiss you,” Jonny replies, blushing at his own words.

Patrick giggles in response and Jonny swears that sound will be the death of him.

*

Patrick’s over at Jonny’s place a few months later to practice some of their scenes. Things between them were good, but going a bit too slow for Jonny’s liking.

Neither of them has made a move yet because Patrick’s been busy promoting another movie around the world for the last month.

“We’re going to fill this place up,” Jonny says, confidently to Patrick.

Patrick’s supposed to nod along and look triumphantly at what would be the stands, but instead he stares at Jonny for a while before suddenly lunging at him, capturing his lips in a kiss. Despite the quick approach, the kiss is light and gentle.

Jonny wraps his arms around Patrick and kisses back. Heat soars through his blood and he thinks he can hear his heartbeat in his ears.

When they pull away, Jonny rests his forehead against Patrick’s. “That doesn’t happen until a few more scenes, Pat.”

“I can’t wait that long,” Patrick says, looking dazed.

“Good,” Jonny says, leaning back down for another kiss. “Why now?” he asks after pulling away again.

Patrick shrugs. “Dunno, something about the way you said that line. It’s like it triggered something in me.”

Jonny goes to kiss him again, but Patrick backs away.

“Where are you going?” Jonny asks, making grabby hands at him.

“Distancing myself a bit,” Patrick replies. “We have to get these lines down. We start shooting in a few days.”

Jonny grumbles in disapproval.

“I’ll make a deal with you,” Patrick says. “For every scene we get through, I’ll take off an article of clothing.”

Jonny grins. “A bit presumptuous are we now, Mr. Kane?”

Patrick quirks an eyebrow.

“Okay fine, but both socks count as one.”

“Alright,” Patrick agrees. “Probably a bad day not to wear underwear, huh?”

Jonny swallows and fumbles for his script, trying to ignore the mental image of what he thinks Patrick looks like shirtless and tugging his jeans down to reveal his dick.

Jonny scans the page for his line in the next scene and clears his throat before saying, “Pass me the fucking puck, asshole!”

[laurendzim]

Book review: How does Alec Baldwin’s Trump impression sound on the page? Yuuge!

Penguin Press

“You Can’t Spell America Without Me”

Can anyone really satirize the self-satirized antics of Donald Trump?

Comics have faced that challenge since Trump reassured the nation about the size of his genitals during the GOP presidential debate in March 2016. If parody requires exaggeration, what does Trump’s real-life performance leave to exaggerate?

Alec Baldwin and Kurt Andersen rise to that yuuuge challenge in their new book, “You Can’t Spell America Without Me.” They’re the perfect authors — “the best people, the smartest people” — for this lavish parody, billed as a memoir by President Trump about his “really tremendous” first year in the White House. Baldwin, of course, has raised Trump parody to a fine art on “Saturday Night Live,” and Andersen has been mocking “the short-fingered vulgarian” since he co-founded Spy magazine back in the late 1980s.

“I consider myself the world’s greatest above-average Trump impersonator,” Baldwin says by phone from New York. Although he gets top billing on the book jacket, he’s quick to acknowledge his partner’s contribution: “Kurt did all the writing, and I did all the laughing.”

Their process wasn’t quite that simple, but Baldwin clearly admires Andersen’s satiric skill.

“To get inside the mind of Trump for 200 and something pages — that’s not easy to do,” Baldwin says. “And where Trump becomes more and more unraveled and becomes more and more loopy as the thing goes on, you’ve got to make those shifts, and you’ve got to make those turns very precisely and very specifically, and I think that’s Kurt’s greatest gift.”

“You Can’t Spell America Without Me” is a wacky narrative written in the voice of a boastful reality TV star who becomes president without any idea how government works. In between mad gushes of self-praise, Trump — as imagined by Baldwin and Andersen — excoriates his enemies, mocks his staff and praises his “very respectful” Filipino servant, Rodrigo. (Trump’s weird fixation on everyone’s racial and ethnic identity is one of the book’s many running gags.)

Penguin Press

“You Can’t Spell America Without Me”

If, like a certain resident of the White House, you don’t have time to actually read a book, this one is filled with dozens of hilarious photos. There’s Baldwin as President Trump arranging the toy soldiers on his desk, getting a fresh spray-on tan or playing golf while an aide briefs him on the global warming hoax. (“I got two holes in one, maybe more,” he claims, “so many I’m not even sure.”)

Some moments in the book are clearly ridiculous, such as Trump’s plan to sing “We Are the Champions” at his inauguration (“Mike Pence literally pleaded with me not to do that, because it turns out that guy who sang it originally was gay.”) But much of the absurd text hews so closely to Trump’s own speeches and interviews that the president might skip slander charges and just sue the authors for plagiarism.

That concern crossed Andersen’s mind.

“I was careful to not use any of his tweets raw,” he says with a laugh, “because I could imagine Donald Trump saying, ‘Oh, those are my copyrighted material.’ ”

The trick, Andersen explains, was to find a comic middle ground between the actual president, who he says is “like an over-the-top fictional character,” and the “cartoonish” figure Baldwin portrays on “Saturday Night Live.”

“We wanted to keep it in the realm of possibility and have exactly that kind of confusion: ‘Wait – is this the real guy or a parody of him?’ ” (Even the book’s title is an uncanny echo of Trump’s proclamation on Friday: “I’m the only one that matters.”)

Chapter after unhinged chapter, the president delivers his rambling monologue of feverish narcissism: “I’m going to have my White House lawyer look into whether or not we need a constitutional amendment so I can be president and chairman of the United States. I’m pretty sure we can just go ahead and do it by executive order, or maybe have Congress pass a bill to make it more official.”

Andersen says producing this parody required mastering the “palette of Trumpian linguistic tics” to create a “faithful reproduction at the molecular level.” The task went far beyond just repeating “unbelievable” or “huge.” He had to learn the president’s lexicon. He had to get a feel for the rhythm of those phrases. “The sentences go on and on and go in all kinds of different directions,” he says, “and they can’t be parsed by anything I ever learned in English class.”

No matter how funny this “memoir” may be, Andersen is dead serious about the president’s weaknesses. “I actually think he has diagnosable mental illnesses of various kinds,” he says. “Not that that means anything one way or the other, because I don’t want people to say, ‘Well, therefore, he’s not culpable. It’s an illness. We should pity him rather than scorn him.’

“I pity and I scorn him both.”

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Baldwin is more circumspect on that issue, even going so far as to admit to an ironic sympathy for Trump’s position. “In my public life, I have been psychoanalyzed by people. There are writers and journalists who venture out on that new journalism diving board not to write what I say but to analyze what I say and give their opinion of my own interior life. I’ve learned you can’t render a medical opinion about somebody that you’re not qualified to give.”

But then, come on — who can resist?

“Is Trump insane?” Baldwin asks. “Does Trump have dementia? Does Trump have any kind of neurological disorder or mental illness? I don’t know, but it sure looks that way.”

Well, it sure looks that way in this book. Andersen sees “You Can’t Spell America Without Me” as a “replay” of his old Spy magazine days, when he and co-founder Graydon Carter taunted the garish New York real estate developer. “The characters from Spy — like zombies — are bringing it back on their own in some weird 25-years-later fashion.”

And this surely isn’t the last laugh. In addition to his continuing appearances on SNL, Baldwin mentioned “another project where maybe a more finely tuned Trump might come into play.” He gave no specifics except to say, “It’s not a movie but a video project where I would want to try to play him.”

Believe me, that could make America great again.

Charles is the editor of Book World and host of TotallyHipVideoBookReview.com.

from News And Updates http://www.denverpost.com/2017/11/09/you-cant-spell-america-without-me-alec-baldwin-kurt-andersen-book-review/

[ashleydpalmerusa]

What Is Job Search ‘Ghosting,’ and Why the Hell Is Everyone Doing It?

I fondly remember my first “smartphone.” It was a giant Pocket PC (Google that, children) I inherited from my CPA review boss with a stylus and everything. THE FUTURE, I LIVED IT. No longer did I have to wait until I arrived at work to check my email. NO! I can work on the bus! This is incredible! I was too enthralled by the now-ancient technology at the time to realize my former boss totally set me up by gifting me a device that would compel me to answer work emails at all hours of the day rather than solely the hours I was tied to my desk in the office. Convenience!

“Pocket” PC my ass. This thing never fit in my pocket. Maybe that was my fault for being a dirty tattooed hipster wearing skinny jeans before skinny jeans were cool.

Yes it really looked like this, and yes it had Windows. My God this is awful in hindsight. *shrug* I loved how it synced my Outlook calendars. What can I say, 2008 was a different time.

As we all know, the novelty wore off once our devices got slicker, smaller, and cheaper. In some ways, I hold a certain affinity toward that gangly piece of shit Pocket PC (which, I’ll have you know, I once drowned in a bucket of water and then smashed repeatedly with a hammer at 2 a.m. after way too many Belgian IPAs so no one could steal my data once I threw it away). It was a simpler time. No one expected me to be online and available at all hours of the day and night, but if I was, hey, cool. But then something changed. Suddenly, being constantly available wasn’t this cool thing but rather an expectation. Why didn’t you read my text? I tweeted you, did you see it? Why didn’t you like my Insta post?

I don’t know about y’all but I’m tired. T-I-R-E-D. I got called out in the ol’ company Slack just last week for completely ignoring our tech guy who needed me to give him copy on something. I didn’t even half-ass a response; I just straight-up swiped away my notifications like it never happened the day he Slacked me. I did feel bad after the fact when he called me out for it, but I believe what we’re all suffering from is a severe case of data overload, the kind that causes me and likely many of you to just swipe it all away every now and then.

It’s no surprise then that people are complaining about getting ghosted. For the uninitiated, “ghosting” is generally reserved for getting blown off when you’ve already established a good rapport with someone, say, on a dating app. But it can apply to just about every aspect of your digital life, and often seeps into your actual one. No doubt we’ve all ghosted someone, but why?

Enter the Journal of Accountancy. They just did a story about job candidates ghosting during the recruiting process that is essential reading for anyone on the receiving end of a ghost.

It’s happening more frequently: A hiring manager begins the recruitment process with a job candidate, only to have that candidate disappear or “ghost” them at some point — not returning calls, texts, or emails.

Pat Cassady, talent acquisition director at BKD CPAs & Advisors in the Kansas City area, can tell her fair share of stories her staff witnessed: a college student who went through a full round of interviews, and then stopped responding when a job offer was extended; an experienced professional with connections to an employer who stopped responding upon receiving an offer letter; and many others.

Ghosting can and does happen at any point in the recruiting process, from not showing up for an interview to not returning communication when an offer is extended — even not showing up on the first day of work. The increasingly global job marketplace is making ghosting easier and more common: It’s less likely nowadays that job candidates live in the same town as an employer, and therefore they don’t risk running into the hiring manager, Cassady said.

Younger generations may be more prone to ghosting, said Maureen Hoersten, chief operating officer of LaSalle Network, a national staffing, recruiting, and culture firm located in Chicago, though all generations are guilty of it. The younger, social-media generation is doing it most, she said. This group is used to more casual forms of communication like texting, and is comfortable not communicating at all. What’s more, because there are more open positions than candidates in today’s job market, job seekers tend to feel they have options, she said.

Thank God they didn’t say “millennials,” considering I’m an elderly millennial at 30-freaking-7 years old. The “young people and their social medias hurr durr” trope is old (no pun) by now. Now it’s just “the social media generation,” as if unhinged aunts and their Minions memes on Facebook aren’t social media-ing their pancake asses off harder than any of us of the “social media generation” ever could.

I digress.

This ghosting crap is not exclusive to “the social media generation,” as we already knew. Cue this open letter to recruiters from /r/accounting the other day. Maybe the recruiter was a millennial Snapchat-loving, totally irresponsible youth who just couldn’t be arsed bc young people problems? I guess nah.

Can Recruiters Do Their Damn Jobs? (Open Letter to Recruiters)Off-Topic

And just follow up with candidates that interviewed with you? I’ve had so many interviews where internal recruiters just straight up ghosted me after in-person interviews. “You’ll hear back by next week” – two weeks eagerly waiting fly by and not a single correspondence. Good lord, it’s like the wild west out here. You could have the best interview experience and still not get a single response back. How hard is it to just send a rejection email or just something (anything).

Is common courtesy really too much to ask for? I get that you may have other things on your schedule but stop leaving your candidates in purgatory for the love of god! Not even a response to my follow-up email/call? What the heck are you guys really doing with your time? This HR culture in accounting really needs to change.

Yeah it ain’t just you, random redditor. I remember when I was looking for a job after this piece of crap website fired me a few years back and I got ghosted by a digital agency after THREE interviews. Yes, three. This is after the initial “heyyyy your resume passed our shit filter, so let’s have a call about why you want to work for us” email from HR. So technically I endured four interviews, including the phone interview with HR, only to get totally ghosted.

It’s unlikely we’ll find a solution for this anytime soon. Not so long as we have devices in front of us all hours of our waking lives screaming notifications at us. 20 minutes to work! Have you checked in today? Random Grandma has a question about the lube you bought on Amazon last week. Make it stop. No wonder everyone is just going ghost. Honestly I can’t blame them.

Don’t bother tweeting me in response to this article. I’ll be swiping “Clear All” any minute now.

The post What Is Job Search ‘Ghosting,’ and Why the Hell Is Everyone Doing It? appeared first on Going Concern.

from Accounting News https://goingconcern.com/what-is-job-search-ghosting-and-why-the-hell-is-everyone-doing-it/

[lisarprahl]

What Is Job Search ‘Ghosting,’ and Why the Hell Is Everyone Doing It?

I fondly remember my first “smartphone.” It was a giant Pocket PC (Google that, children) I inherited from my CPA review boss with a stylus and everything. THE FUTURE, I LIVED IT. No longer did I have to wait until I arrived at work to check my email. NO! I can work on the bus! This is incredible! I was too enthralled by the now-ancient technology at the time to realize my former boss totally set me up by gifting me a device that would compel me to answer work emails at all hours of the day rather than solely the hours I was tied to my desk in the office. Convenience!

“Pocket” PC my ass. This thing never fit in my pocket. Maybe that was my fault for being a dirty tattooed hipster wearing skinny jeans before skinny jeans were cool.

Yes it really looked like this, and yes it had Windows. My God this is awful in hindsight. *shrug* I loved how it synced my Outlook calendars. What can I say, 2008 was a different time.

As we all know, the novelty wore off once our devices got slicker, smaller, and cheaper. In some ways, I hold a certain affinity toward that gangly piece of shit Pocket PC (which, I’ll have you know, I once drowned in a bucket of water and then smashed repeatedly with a hammer at 2 a.m. after way too many Belgian IPAs so no one could steal my data once I threw it away). It was a simpler time. No one expected me to be online and available at all hours of the day and night, but if I was, hey, cool. But then something changed. Suddenly, being constantly available wasn’t this cool thing but rather an expectation. Why didn’t you read my text? I tweeted you, did you see it? Why didn’t you like my Insta post?

I don’t know about y’all but I’m tired. T-I-R-E-D. I got called out in the ol’ company Slack just last week for completely ignoring our tech guy who needed me to give him copy on something. I didn’t even half-ass a response; I just straight-up swiped away my notifications like it never happened the day he Slacked me. I did feel bad after the fact when he called me out for it, but I believe what we’re all suffering from is a severe case of data overload, the kind that causes me and likely many of you to just swipe it all away every now and then.

It’s no surprise then that people are complaining about getting ghosted. For the uninitiated, “ghosting” is generally reserved for getting blown off when you’ve already established a good rapport with someone, say, on a dating app. But it can apply to just about every aspect of your digital life, and often seeps into your actual one. No doubt we’ve all ghosted someone, but why?

Enter the Journal of Accountancy. They just did a story about job candidates ghosting during the recruiting process that is essential reading for anyone on the receiving end of a ghost.

It’s happening more frequently: A hiring manager begins the recruitment process with a job candidate, only to have that candidate disappear or “ghost” them at some point — not returning calls, texts, or emails.

Pat Cassady, talent acquisition director at BKD CPAs & Advisors in the Kansas City area, can tell her fair share of stories her staff witnessed: a college student who went through a full round of interviews, and then stopped responding when a job offer was extended; an experienced professional with connections to an employer who stopped responding upon receiving an offer letter; and many others.

Ghosting can and does happen at any point in the recruiting process, from not showing up for an interview to not returning communication when an offer is extended — even not showing up on the first day of work. The increasingly global job marketplace is making ghosting easier and more common: It’s less likely nowadays that job candidates live in the same town as an employer, and therefore they don’t risk running into the hiring manager, Cassady said.

Younger generations may be more prone to ghosting, said Maureen Hoersten, chief operating officer of LaSalle Network, a national staffing, recruiting, and culture firm located in Chicago, though all generations are guilty of it. The younger, social-media generation is doing it most, she said. This group is used to more casual forms of communication like texting, and is comfortable not communicating at all. What’s more, because there are more open positions than candidates in today’s job market, job seekers tend to feel they have options, she said.

Thank God they didn’t say “millennials,” considering I’m an elderly millennial at 30-freaking-7 years old. The “young people and their social medias hurr durr” trope is old (no pun) by now. Now it’s just “the social media generation,” as if unhinged aunts and their Minions memes on Facebook aren’t social media-ing their pancake asses off harder than any of us of the “social media generation” ever could.

I digress.

This ghosting crap is not exclusive to “the social media generation,” as we already knew. Cue this open letter to recruiters from /r/accounting the other day. Maybe the recruiter was a millennial Snapchat-loving, totally irresponsible youth who just couldn’t be arsed bc young people problems? I guess nah.

Can Recruiters Do Their Damn Jobs? (Open Letter to Recruiters)Off-Topic

And just follow up with candidates that interviewed with you? I’ve had so many interviews where internal recruiters just straight up ghosted me after in-person interviews. “You’ll hear back by next week” – two weeks eagerly waiting fly by and not a single correspondence. Good lord, it’s like the wild west out here. You could have the best interview experience and still not get a single response back. How hard is it to just send a rejection email or just something (anything).

Is common courtesy really too much to ask for? I get that you may have other things on your schedule but stop leaving your candidates in purgatory for the love of god! Not even a response to my follow-up email/call? What the heck are you guys really doing with your time? This HR culture in accounting really needs to change.

Yeah it ain’t just you, random redditor. I remember when I was looking for a job after this piece of crap website fired me a few years back and I got ghosted by a digital agency after THREE interviews. Yes, three. This is after the initial “heyyyy your resume passed our shit filter, so let’s have a call about why you want to work for us” email from HR. So technically I endured four interviews, including the phone interview with HR, only to get totally ghosted.

It’s unlikely we’ll find a solution for this anytime soon. Not so long as we have devices in front of us all hours of our waking lives screaming notifications at us. 20 minutes to work! Have you checked in today? Random Grandma has a question about the lube you bought on Amazon last week. Make it stop. No wonder everyone is just going ghost. Honestly I can’t blame them.

Don’t bother tweeting me in response to this article. I’ll be swiping “Clear All” any minute now.

The post What Is Job Search ‘Ghosting,’ and Why the Hell Is Everyone Doing It? appeared first on Going Concern.

from Accounting News https://goingconcern.com/what-is-job-search-ghosting-and-why-the-hell-is-everyone-doing-it/

[charlesjening]

What Is Job Search ‘Ghosting,’ and Why the Hell Is Everyone Doing It?

I fondly remember my first “smartphone.” It was a giant Pocket PC (Google that, children) I inherited from my CPA review boss with a stylus and everything. THE FUTURE, I LIVED IT. No longer did I have to wait until I arrived at work to check my email. NO! I can work on the bus! This is incredible! I was too enthralled by the now-ancient technology at the time to realize my former boss totally set me up by gifting me a device that would compel me to answer work emails at all hours of the day rather than solely the hours I was tied to my desk in the office. Convenience!

“Pocket” PC my ass. This thing never fit in my pocket. Maybe that was my fault for being a dirty tattooed hipster wearing skinny jeans before skinny jeans were cool.

Yes it really looked like this, and yes it had Windows. My God this is awful in hindsight. *shrug* I loved how it synced my Outlook calendars. What can I say, 2008 was a different time.

As we all know, the novelty wore off once our devices got slicker, smaller, and cheaper. In some ways, I hold a certain affinity toward that gangly piece of shit Pocket PC (which, I’ll have you know, I once drowned in a bucket of water and then smashed repeatedly with a hammer at 2 a.m. after way too many Belgian IPAs so no one could steal my data once I threw it away). It was a simpler time. No one expected me to be online and available at all hours of the day and night, but if I was, hey, cool. But then something changed. Suddenly, being constantly available wasn’t this cool thing but rather an expectation. Why didn’t you read my text? I tweeted you, did you see it? Why didn’t you like my Insta post?

I don’t know about y’all but I’m tired. T-I-R-E-D. I got called out in the ol’ company Slack just last week for completely ignoring our tech guy who needed me to give him copy on something. I didn’t even half-ass a response; I just straight-up swiped away my notifications like it never happened the day he Slacked me. I did feel bad after the fact when he called me out for it, but I believe what we’re all suffering from is a severe case of data overload, the kind that causes me and likely many of you to just swipe it all away every now and then.

It’s no surprise then that people are complaining about getting ghosted. For the uninitiated, “ghosting” is generally reserved for getting blown off when you’ve already established a good rapport with someone, say, on a dating app. But it can apply to just about every aspect of your digital life, and often seeps into your actual one. No doubt we’ve all ghosted someone, but why?

Enter the Journal of Accountancy. They just did a story about job candidates ghosting during the recruiting process that is essential reading for anyone on the receiving end of a ghost.

It’s happening more frequently: A hiring manager begins the recruitment process with a job candidate, only to have that candidate disappear or “ghost” them at some point — not returning calls, texts, or emails.

Pat Cassady, talent acquisition director at BKD CPAs & Advisors in the Kansas City area, can tell her fair share of stories her staff witnessed: a college student who went through a full round of interviews, and then stopped responding when a job offer was extended; an experienced professional with connections to an employer who stopped responding upon receiving an offer letter; and many others.

Ghosting can and does happen at any point in the recruiting process, from not showing up for an interview to not returning communication when an offer is extended — even not showing up on the first day of work. The increasingly global job marketplace is making ghosting easier and more common: It’s less likely nowadays that job candidates live in the same town as an employer, and therefore they don’t risk running into the hiring manager, Cassady said.

Younger generations may be more prone to ghosting, said Maureen Hoersten, chief operating officer of LaSalle Network, a national staffing, recruiting, and culture firm located in Chicago, though all generations are guilty of it. The younger, social-media generation is doing it most, she said. This group is used to more casual forms of communication like texting, and is comfortable not communicating at all. What’s more, because there are more open positions than candidates in today’s job market, job seekers tend to feel they have options, she said.

Thank God they didn’t say “millennials,” considering I’m an elderly millennial at 30-freaking-7 years old. The “young people and their social medias hurr durr” trope is old (no pun) by now. Now it’s just “the social media generation,” as if unhinged aunts and their Minions memes on Facebook aren’t social media-ing their pancake asses off harder than any of us of the “social media generation” ever could.

I digress.

This ghosting crap is not exclusive to “the social media generation,” as we already knew. Cue this open letter to recruiters from /r/accounting the other day. Maybe the recruiter was a millennial Snapchat-loving, totally irresponsible youth who just couldn’t be arsed bc young people problems? I guess nah.

Can Recruiters Do Their Damn Jobs? (Open Letter to Recruiters)Off-Topic

And just follow up with candidates that interviewed with you? I’ve had so many interviews where internal recruiters just straight up ghosted me after in-person interviews. “You’ll hear back by next week” – two weeks eagerly waiting fly by and not a single correspondence. Good lord, it’s like the wild west out here. You could have the best interview experience and still not get a single response back. How hard is it to just send a rejection email or just something (anything).

Is common courtesy really too much to ask for? I get that you may have other things on your schedule but stop leaving your candidates in purgatory for the love of god! Not even a response to my follow-up email/call? What the heck are you guys really doing with your time? This HR culture in accounting really needs to change.

Yeah it ain’t just you, random redditor. I remember when I was looking for a job after this piece of crap website fired me a few years back and I got ghosted by a digital agency after THREE interviews. Yes, three. This is after the initial “heyyyy your resume passed our shit filter, so let’s have a call about why you want to work for us” email from HR. So technically I endured four interviews, including the phone interview with HR, only to get totally ghosted.

It’s unlikely we’ll find a solution for this anytime soon. Not so long as we have devices in front of us all hours of our waking lives screaming notifications at us. 20 minutes to work! Have you checked in today? Random Grandma has a question about the lube you bought on Amazon last week. Make it stop. No wonder everyone is just going ghost. Honestly I can’t blame them.

Don’t bother tweeting me in response to this article. I’ll be swiping “Clear All” any minute now.

The post What Is Job Search ‘Ghosting,’ and Why the Hell Is Everyone Doing It? appeared first on Going Concern.

republished from Going Concern

[janetoconnerfl]

Book review: How does Alec Baldwin’s Trump impression sound on the page? Yuuge!

Penguin Press

“You Can’t Spell America Without Me”

Can anyone really satirize the self-satirized antics of Donald Trump?

Comics have faced that challenge since Trump reassured the nation about the size of his genitals during the GOP presidential debate in March 2016. If parody requires exaggeration, what does Trump’s real-life performance leave to exaggerate?

Alec Baldwin and Kurt Andersen rise to that yuuuge challenge in their new book, “You Can’t Spell America Without Me.” They’re the perfect authors — “the best people, the smartest people” — for this lavish parody, billed as a memoir by President Trump about his “really tremendous” first year in the White House. Baldwin, of course, has raised Trump parody to a fine art on “Saturday Night Live,” and Andersen has been mocking “the short-fingered vulgarian” since he co-founded Spy magazine back in the late 1980s.

“I consider myself the world’s greatest above-average Trump impersonator,” Baldwin says by phone from New York. Although he gets top billing on the book jacket, he’s quick to acknowledge his partner’s contribution: “Kurt did all the writing, and I did all the laughing.”

Their process wasn’t quite that simple, but Baldwin clearly admires Andersen’s satiric skill.

“To get inside the mind of Trump for 200 and something pages — that’s not easy to do,” Baldwin says. “And where Trump becomes more and more unraveled and becomes more and more loopy as the thing goes on, you’ve got to make those shifts, and you’ve got to make those turns very precisely and very specifically, and I think that’s Kurt’s greatest gift.”

“You Can’t Spell America Without Me” is a wacky narrative written in the voice of a boastful reality TV star who becomes president without any idea how government works. In between mad gushes of self-praise, Trump — as imagined by Baldwin and Andersen — excoriates his enemies, mocks his staff and praises his “very respectful” Filipino servant, Rodrigo. (Trump’s weird fixation on everyone’s racial and ethnic identity is one of the book’s many running gags.)

Penguin Press

“You Can’t Spell America Without Me”

If, like a certain resident of the White House, you don’t have time to actually read a book, this one is filled with dozens of hilarious photos. There’s Baldwin as President Trump arranging the toy soldiers on his desk, getting a fresh spray-on tan or playing golf while an aide briefs him on the global warming hoax. (“I got two holes in one, maybe more,” he claims, “so many I’m not even sure.”)

Some moments in the book are clearly ridiculous, such as Trump’s plan to sing “We Are the Champions” at his inauguration (“Mike Pence literally pleaded with me not to do that, because it turns out that guy who sang it originally was gay.”) But much of the absurd text hews so closely to Trump’s own speeches and interviews that the president might skip slander charges and just sue the authors for plagiarism.

That concern crossed Andersen’s mind.

“I was careful to not use any of his tweets raw,” he says with a laugh, “because I could imagine Donald Trump saying, ‘Oh, those are my copyrighted material.’ ”

The trick, Andersen explains, was to find a comic middle ground between the actual president, who he says is “like an over-the-top fictional character,” and the “cartoonish” figure Baldwin portrays on “Saturday Night Live.”

“We wanted to keep it in the realm of possibility and have exactly that kind of confusion: ‘Wait – is this the real guy or a parody of him?’ ” (Even the book’s title is an uncanny echo of Trump’s proclamation on Friday: “I’m the only one that matters.”)

Chapter after unhinged chapter, the president delivers his rambling monologue of feverish narcissism: “I’m going to have my White House lawyer look into whether or not we need a constitutional amendment so I can be president and chairman of the United States. I’m pretty sure we can just go ahead and do it by executive order, or maybe have Congress pass a bill to make it more official.”

Andersen says producing this parody required mastering the “palette of Trumpian linguistic tics” to create a “faithful reproduction at the molecular level.” The task went far beyond just repeating “unbelievable” or “huge.” He had to learn the president’s lexicon. He had to get a feel for the rhythm of those phrases. “The sentences go on and on and go in all kinds of different directions,” he says, “and they can’t be parsed by anything I ever learned in English class.”

No matter how funny this “memoir” may be, Andersen is dead serious about the president’s weaknesses. “I actually think he has diagnosable mental illnesses of various kinds,” he says. “Not that that means anything one way or the other, because I don’t want people to say, ‘Well, therefore, he’s not culpable. It’s an illness. We should pity him rather than scorn him.’

“I pity and I scorn him both.”

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Baldwin is more circumspect on that issue, even going so far as to admit to an ironic sympathy for Trump’s position. “In my public life, I have been psychoanalyzed by people. There are writers and journalists who venture out on that new journalism diving board not to write what I say but to analyze what I say and give their opinion of my own interior life. I’ve learned you can’t render a medical opinion about somebody that you’re not qualified to give.”

But then, come on — who can resist?

“Is Trump insane?” Baldwin asks. “Does Trump have dementia? Does Trump have any kind of neurological disorder or mental illness? I don’t know, but it sure looks that way.”

Well, it sure looks that way in this book. Andersen sees “You Can’t Spell America Without Me” as a “replay” of his old Spy magazine days, when he and co-founder Graydon Carter taunted the garish New York real estate developer. “The characters from Spy — like zombies — are bringing it back on their own in some weird 25-years-later fashion.”

And this surely isn’t the last laugh. In addition to his continuing appearances on SNL, Baldwin mentioned “another project where maybe a more finely tuned Trump might come into play.” He gave no specifics except to say, “It’s not a movie but a video project where I would want to try to play him.”

Believe me, that could make America great again.

Charles is the editor of Book World and host of TotallyHipVideoBookReview.com.

from Latest Information http://www.denverpost.com/2017/11/09/you-cant-spell-america-without-me-alec-baldwin-kurt-andersen-book-review/