#i need to try and draw tfa stuff again

[uselessalexis165]

some more of my favorite siblings

[livewireprojects]

Sonadowtober 2024 Day 1

I'm aware this is really late, I've sadly failed to work on stuff ahead of time & I've been getting tired easily so I don't really get around to working on this most of the time unless at work.

I think I mentioned before but joining in on Sonadowtober again & I'm behind. I'll try to catch up or at least post days I wanted to join in on when I get the chance.

Day 1 was "I found you, faker!"

I kind of used this as an excuse to draw/talk about an idea I had for my version of Sonic that I mentioned in the past. The faker in this is the idea of Sonic having a facade. For some reason the idea of some characters like Sonic, TFA Bumblebee or Ben Tennyson having a facade is an interesting idea to me.(Like part of their behavior is them but most of it is due to issues like trauma & trying to cope)

While my version of Sonic is a little like how he acts he is self-unconscious(despite accepting himself at points he's still worried how others would see him) & has a lot to worry about despite trying his best to live in the moment. From personal issues, trauma he doesn't always deal with & worries about his amnesia that has left him with so many questions. On top of all of that he's trying to play the part of the hero that if knocked down can get back up that most think he is. He'll let the mask slip sometimes but he doesn't want people to lose hope in times were they really need him.

Shadow wasn't aware of Sonic's struggles at first but as he goes from seeing Sonic as an ally to a friend(he denies) he starts to notice things that worry him.(Made worse as he starts to develop feelings for Sonic) Shadow has his own issues to worry about but he'll try to help if possible. It will take some time to get Sonic to allow him in to help him to the point Sonic is badly injured before he reaches him but Shadow will be there for him & help him remove the mask.

Link to Sonadowtober days list

[porkcracker]

Found family dynamic with the reader (Tfa optimus, prowl, bulkhead, ratchet, sari and bumblebee) please. Basically a scenario where the reader feels like they don’t matter and then team prime comes and comforts them and that they care about them and are apart of there family.

Hello hello, so this took way longer than planned due to holiday stress, but alas I still hope you like it. The focus ended up being more on Bumblebee, Sari and Bulkhead, than the others. Sorry. Thank you for requesting and have fun reading.

GN!Reader & Team Prime (TFA)

After having met the Autobots a lot of things, both amazing and frightening happened to you. At first surprise, shock and adrenaline kept you very much distracted from any or all second or third thoughts you could have had, but recently things had been quieter and you had time to think.

And think you, but quickly your thoughts were filled with all these little moments and ideas you had pushed away just as quickly as they came.

What were you in the eye of these beings beyond a small inconinconvenience? You couldn't bring anything useful to the table and in any emergency situsituation they would need to protect you.

Hell, even Sari, a literal child, was more helpful and less of a burden than you yourself.

Maybe you should keep a little distance between yourself and the team? Make them feel less like they would need to watch out for you at all times.

Deep in thoughts as you were, you did not notice that the team had started to notice your visible absence. Sari looked around the open room with open curiosity and a letting out a thoughtful hum as she did so, which was quick to draw Bumblebee's attention.

"What are you looking for?", he inquired as he leaned down a little. Sari's head quickly snapped up to meet his optics and didn't hesitate to reveal her thoughts to her best friend. "Do you know where [Y/N] is? I haven't seen them for a bit."

From that point on, it didn't take long until the entire team was more or less actively looking for their human friend. Meanwhile you didn't notice them at all as you were still deep in your own thoughts as more and more doubts started to fill your head.

In the end it was Prowl who found you first.

"[Y/N], there you are. We've been looking for you all over." His sudden appearance startled you out of your thoughts and once the information registered in your brain you looked to the side embarrassed as the negative thoughts flared up once more. "Sorry, didn't mean to worry everyone. I'm fine, just thinking about stuff.", you were quick to try and brush the ninja off, while also reassuring him.

A slight frown settled on the bots faceplate and he send a ping to the rest of the team before leaning closer to your form. "Are you sure? It does not seem like it. I am more than willing to lend you an audial.", the ninja offered, watching your reaction closely. The way you avoided looking at him and your slumped shoulders telltale signs for discomfort and other negative emotions he couldn't quite decipher.

Before either of you could have said more, Bumblebee, Bulkhead and Sari arrived and quickly made their way over. Sari was sitting on Bulkheads shoulder and waved excitedly upon spotting you. "[Y/N], there you are! We were looking for you, why weren't you're- hey, what's wrong?", she interrupted herself upon realising how defeated and sad you looked.

Seeing as the three were most likely better suited to talk with you, Prowl gave a last considering look towards you, before quietly leaving.

The three newcomers didn't pay much attention to him though, instead they were quite focused on their unhappy friend. Sliding down from Bulkheads shoulder, Sari settled down next to you. "So?", she inquired again, giving you a gentle poke.

Faced with three curious and concerned faces, you relented with a small sigh. "It's just...in comparison to you all I'm just, you know, useless. Sari, still has her abilities and all, but I'm not in anyway helpful. " You avoided looking into their direction as you talked, already feeling bad for bothering them with your problems, as they already had enough of their own.

There was a moment a silence, before you were pulled into an energic hug by the girl next to you. You wheezed a little at the sudden lack of air, but the sudden swell of words were quick to distract you again.

"That's not true at all. You're not useless!", Sari exclaimed, "You're just as helpful as me, if not more. It just wouldn't work without you, heck, even Ratchet likes you." As the girl talked, Bulkhead carefully scooped the both of you into his servos, to bring you closer to him and Bumblebee.

Once Sari had stopped talking, Bumblebee swooped in to take over, before you could even think of a reply. "She's right, you're just as important as Sari. You're part of the team, we wouldn't be the same without you here. Without you it would only be half as fun and Ratchet would be even more grumpy than he is and the bossbot would miss you a lot too."

Cradled in Bulkheads servos and wrapped in Sari's arms, you could feel your mood raise as your doubts were overtalked with your friends caring words.

A small smile, slipped onto your face and you quietly thanked your friends- family as they chased the negative thoughts away.

[superectojazzmage]

Yeah the kyber bleeding and a lot of the way kyber is depicted in Disney stuff in general is shit compared to the original lore and I don’t know why they keep doubling down on it because as far I can tell literally nobody likes it. Bleeding especially is just dumb as shit and partly seems like a really lame attempt to shear away any potential nuance or depth or grayness in the Jedi/Sith conflict (“no morally ambiguous or non-villainous Sith ever!!! they’re all so EEEEEEEVILLL that each and every one abuses their saber crystals like big meanies!!!!”), not to mention imposing weird limitations on something that doesn’t really need it. Survivor especially highlights how dumb the concept is with Dagan, how it’s like they’re saying the color red is in and of itself evil and corrupt. It’s a really unnecessary and counterintuitive change in general.

Inquisitor lightsabers feel like one of those things that sounded good on the drawing board, but didn’t really work out like they wanted it to, but instead of getting rid of or reworking it, they just doubled down hard on trying to make it “happen”. That can be said for a lot of the Disney lore changes tbh.

I think the crossguard sabers COULD be made to work if some more thought and creativity was put into how they would function in lightsaber combat, like maybe having the crossguards be made of cortosis or beskar or something; with the former you could fuck up your opponent by using the crossguards to forcibly deactivate their saber midswing, the latter you could use the crossguards to block attacks or as a weapon, there are probably other ideas, I don’t know I’m just throwing these out there. But TFA did it in the stupidest-looking and most impractical way imaginable and subsequent stories keep aping that look for sake of synergy instead of using the more sensible/cooler variants of it that have cropped up in some stories, concept arts, and fanworks.

Tracking fobs are, again, one of those things that probably sounded better on the drawing board or made it into the final product without anybody pointing out how it didn’t make sense. Probably the latter, because it was an extremely minor detail in Mandalorian season one and basically amounted to an extremely minor plot device to get Din to Grogu so they could get the main plot started right away. Just one of those stupid little things where someone threw in something that sounded “cool and sci-fi” instead of more simple, non-universe-breaking like having the client know where target is but needing a hunter to do the legwork.

Most of the High Republic stories have actually been pretty good or at least enjoyable and in absolute fairness to Disney, that whole era of history was one of the major eras that Legends never got around to filling in beyond some vague summaries. The dumbass “lost era of technology” thing is the only major flaw with it because, as you said, why the fuck is it talked about that way when there are sitting members of the Jedi Council who lived in that time, and not just the long-lived ones like Yoda.

That being said, they might actually be planning to address that exact point as part of the plot; a big part of the story of the High Republic stuff is that the Nihil — the bad guys of that time — are massively fucking galactic society up through their campaign of terrorism that’s boosted by a type of hyperspace magic only they know how to use plus some ancient, Pre-Ruusan weapons and monsters they’ve gotten ahold of. The first major arc ends with the Nihil all but cutting the Republic off from the entire Outer Rim and forcing the Chancellor to enact major restrictions on hyperlanes that lead to economic chaos across the galaxy because of how dangerous their hyperspace magic is, with it all being implied that this conflict is partly responsible for the decaying state of the Republic by the Prequels. So, yeah, they MIGHT be actually addressing that complaint. Or maybe they just didn’t think it through/didn’t care. Either or.

Star Wars: Jedi Survivor Stuff

This is not the review. Yet. It’s coming.

Someone was nice enough to buy me Jedi Survivor and I was able to get it to run on my computer. I’m going to do a review of it, but there’s a number of things in the game that I’m not a fan of that doesn’t actually impact the game at all.

Most of these are spoilers, so I’ll be putting a spoiler down below. Mostly these are things that I dislike being introduced/retconned into Star Wars from Disney. Mostly, this is an excuse for me to bring these up now because they won’t be in my actual review. My dislike for the lore changes doesn’t hurt the game at all.

Spoilers below:

Keep reading

[my-writings-and-musings]

TFA Bulkhead/Bumblebee

Bulkhead, hoping to paint Bumblebee, finds a number of unexpected hurdles in the form of a willing but very fidgety model.

Got a lovely commission that the commissioner was okay with me sharing, so here it is! I had so much fun writing this, and remember, I'm always open if you'd like a fic for yourself.

Working up courage wasn't something one had to do often when they were as big and strong as Bulkhead, but he'd needed every bit he could spare to approach Bumblebee with what he'd feared was a ridiculous request. The fact he could expect his friend to say yes had brought him little comfort, because being rejected just scared him too much. He didn't want to admit how long it had taken him to prepare…

But finally, the day had come, and he approached the little bot as one might an armed explosive.

"Uh… Bumblebee?" he spoke softly, tapping his big servos together to try and call himself down. Bumblebee was relaxing and watching something on TV, and Bulkhead was so nervous he couldn't even tell what. Primus, he was just grateful they were alone, or else this would have been impossible! Bumblebee thankfully noticed him right away, lifting his helm to look at his friend with a smile.

"What's up, Bulk?" he said in greeting, half turning back to the television before doing an actual double take back to the big bot. Concern crossed his features, and he raised a curious brow ridge before he spoke again. "You feeling okay?"

Bulkhead realized just then that his nervousness was probably showing through like a beacon, and he gulped in embarrassment, wanting nothing more than to disappear on the spot. Just his luck that things would already be going poorly… Steeling himself, he took a deep vent and put on the biggest smile he could manage. "Yeah, f-fine!" he gasped out, trying not to tremble. Wishing he'd written down what he wanted to say, he just managed to put some words together and speak, hoping he didn't look as ridiculous as he felt. "I just wanted… wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?" Bumblebee asked, expression not changing once. Near to collapsing, Bulkhead soldiered on, wondering with every word if he'd made a huge mistake.

"Well you… you know I've been painting a lot lately, and I was wondering…" he gulped again, closing in on the final thing he'd come to ask and hoping he wasn't making a huge mistake in the process. If this worked, it might just be the happiest day of his life…

"I'm kind of tired of painting trees and flowers… could I paint… you?" he asked, not even waiting for a reply before he clarified extensively. "Paint a picture of you, I mean! Like… would you want to model for a painting? That's… what I meant…"

"Oh, model?" Bumblebee repeated, optics lighting up like a supernova as he repeated the word. Bulkhead felt relief like nothing he'd ever experienced wash over him as the question got exactly the answer he hadn't dared to hope for, enough so that he struggled to stay standing as he sighed. Bumblebee hopped upright and stretched, lean little frame already eager to get moving as he stepped beside his much larger friend. "What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

"Yeah, sure!" Bulkhead said with enthusiasm, trying his hardest not to cry a few happy tears at the turn of events. Moving as fast as he could, he followed Bee to his room, where all of his supplies were waiting for them in the unlikely event this worked out. The big bot had done everything in his power to get all the paint and brushes he would need if Bee said yes, so hopefully he did indeed have enough, or at least what he'd require to get started. He'd gotten so many shades of yellow…

When they arrived to his room, he briefly scolded himself for not fixing it up better, not that Bumblebee ever bothered to clean his own room, but he wanted to be a good host.

Pointing to the smushed couch he sometimes liked to relax on, which was also in a good spot for lighting, he tried to ensure he was calm despite his still fluttering nerves. "You can, uh, pose however you like. How about there?" 

"Sure, sounds fun!" Bumblebee replied, quite enthusiastic as he hopped on over. Not minding that the furniture was beyond lumpy, he began finding a comfortable way for his frame to lay, moving his tiny self about as Bulkhead got everything ready. Trying not to blush at how happy he was, the big bot grabbed a spare canvas and his favorite cans of paint, along with a few brushes in his size. Someday he'd have to properly thank Sari for introducing him to art, and being kind enough to provide tools in his size as well. When his easel was in place, he looked up to see Numb laying himself over the couch and grinning in his usual goofy way. "Paint me like one of your French bots, Bulkhead…"

Even if he hadn't been so distracted by what he was feeling, the big bot would have had no ability to make sense of what he'd just heard. All he could manage was a one word reply of total bafflement. "...What?"

"It's a… a human quote. I don't get it either." Bumblebee mumbled in reply, likely referencing some movie he and Sari had watched together at some point. Not wanting his friend to feel awkward, Bulkhead happily helped the conversation continue, smiling as he grabbed a brush.

"Oh, well um… how about we start small? Just sketches and stuff, you know?" he offered, trying to think of the best way to proceed. It was hard to plan much of anything when he was this happy, especially because he didn't want Bee to know how he felt, in more ways than one. He had to keep going as if this was just a casual thing, and not something that really meant the world to him.

"Works for me, just don't forget to get my good side… which is all of me." Bee said proudly, striking a pose and grinning as he did so. It was a perfectly in character position, so Bulkhead got to work right away, carefully articulating his large digits to control the brush. While small mistakes were just part of the process for painting, he didn't want to make one here. This piece was going to be perfect, so every stroke had to be the same, and thus his digits had an almost vice-like grip. It didn't escape his attention how few bots got to pursue their greatest wish like he was doing now. Keeping his smile to himself, he cast his optics to Bumblebee and back to the canvas, wanting to have the perfect grasp of scale before he began. Having a friend with such particular proportions wasn't going to make this any easier.

Sticking with the core of his muse, he made a few careful strokes to get the basic gist of his friend's pose, hoping to capture both his sense of excitability and his current relaxed mood. It would be hard, but he was more than up for the challenge. This would be worth every last second of work...

"Actually, hang on, my arm looks better like this."

Bumblebee surprised him with the words and the sudden movement he made to match, his arm swinging about to rest almost opposite to its original pose. As he hadn't yet started drawing that particular spot, Bulkhead let it go, having expected a little bit of restlessness. It was also only fair that Bee liked the final result and was comfortable with the process. Getting back to work, the big bot wondered if his friend's face might be a good place to start. His horns certainly added an additional detail for him to take into consideration… Perhaps he'd ask if Bee wanted his face to be more in profile or at an angle. All he wanted was to capture the essence of the bot he was so close to.

Bumblebee coughed, optics looking about bashfully as he blushed and shifted on the couch to move his other arm. It wasn't a big move, but the small bit clearly realized it was inconvenient, and looked guilty for the move. "Need to change this too, it's not working. This look better?"

"Oh uh… yeah!" Bulkhead replied quickly, uncertain how he should respond beyond acceptance as the last thing he wanted was for this to be uncomfortable for either of them. Some small changes would need to be made to what was already on the canvas, but that was hardly a bother. Getting more paint on his brush, he tried to work a little faster as he got the bottom layer established. Not that he didn't trust Bee to keep his word, but the little bot often fidgeted without even meaning to. Sticking out his glossa in concentration, Bulkhead worked fast, using up a fair amount of paint as he got what he presumed to be the core of the piece. Next would come the much tricker details…

Or at least they would have, if he hadn't glanced up to see Bumblebee in a completely different pose and half asleep...

"Bumblebee?" he said on reflex, coughing to try and gain his friend's attention. Startling awake, the little bot looked around in surprise, seeming to have forgotten exactly where he was and what was going on. When recognition dawned on his features, embarrassment wasn't far behind. A light blush lit up his cheeks as he shrunk down on the couch.

"Scrap, sorry, wasn't thinking." he apologized, trying to remember how he had originally been posed and failing to do so. Bulkhead felt a bit of frustration stirring, but he kept it well under wraps. Just because this wasn't going according to plan, didn't mean he was going to give up.

"That's okay! Just… need a new canvas." he said, keeping his smile even if he was a little more flustered. With a little bit of white paint he could salvage the canvas and use it later for something else, plus it wasn't like Sari didn't provide him with plenty of supplies. Getting set up all over again, he looked back to Bumblebee, who was once again settled in what appeared to be his position of choice. Hoping to begin in earnest, he was careful as could be when he broached the question on his mind. "Is that the pose you want?"

"Definitely!" Bumblebee said enthusiastically, giving him hope that he'd be able to paint for real this time. Not wasting even a moment, he painted as fast as he could, glancing back and forth between the painting and his subject to make the process as smooth as possible. It was an effective strategy, as it allowed him to get the outline twice as fast. This time he wanted to fully capture his friend in the picture as he'd been trying from the start. Some part of him just knew it would be worth it, and that they'd both be thankful he put in all this effort.

Or, at least, he thought he knew...

"Actually, sorry about this, but…" Bumblebee was bashful but not especially hesitant as he moved to lay on his side, stretching as he moved into an entirely different position. The poor artist felt his spark drop at the loss of progress all over again, even as his friend tried to cheer them both up by looking as chipper as possible. "That was so much more uncomfortable than I was expecting. Go on!"

Bulkhead didn't say a word as he grabbed another canvas, and did his very best not to look as discouraged as he felt. It didn't seem like this was going to stop any time soon, as much as he wished it would, and that didn't bode well for his wish to get this done. Perhaps he'd been far too hopeful…

Still, he did everything in his power to stay positive and make the painting he'd dreamed of become a reality.

Painting faster than he ever had in his entire life, the big bot ignored the imperfections that came from moving so rapidly, setting his jaw tight as little flecks of paint spattered across the canvas. At this point, such little things hardly seemed to mind. What really mattered was getting this done. A familiar form began to take recognizable shape on the canvas, and the artist started to plan ahead for his next move from then on. Shading would come after these little details, which he'd be able to put together thanks to having a lot of his friend's appearance memorized. Hope blossomed in his spark as he finally saw Bumblebee in the picture he was painting.

Getting so close to what he wanted made seeing a repeat of what had happened before hurt more than it should have.

Catching himself, Bumblebee blushed and shrunk down on the spot, smiling bashfully in apology for his unintentional movement. It really wasn't something he was doing on purpose; he wanted to see his friend happy! Sitting still just didn't work for him. Seeing Bulkhead look hurt, however, made him feel especially bad for the mistake.

"I don't think this is a good idea." Bulkhead said with a sigh, putting yet another canvas to the side and looking quite deflated as he did so. There wasn't anything he could think to do that might change this, and he was ready to just throw in the towel. Perhaps this was just the one thing he wasn't meant to paint.

"Aw come on, why not?" Bumblebee pressed, aware of the answer but hoping there was something he could do to fix it. Staying still just wasn't in his programming, but perhaps… he could get some tape? That wasn't realistic, but he wanted to try something to make up for this. Bulkhead only sighed again.

"You won't stay still?" he said simply, frustrated but not antagonistic in his summation. It was something neither of them could change, and that left both more than a little helpless.

"I…" Bumblebee stuttered off, tapping his digits together as he saw his friend get even more sad. Unable to help getting a little defensive, he got up from the couch, throwing up his arms as the big bot cleaned up some of the mess. "Come on, Bulk! You know me! Staying still isn't my thing, and I can't force that!"

"Well yeah, but… couldn't you just stay mostly still?" Bulkhead asked, still not ready to just give up all at once. Even if he had no idea how to fix things or make it work, he wanted this painting too much to just give up, no matter how many canvases it took. All he needed was a little bit more time than he had been getting. His determination must have shown, because Bumblebee furrowed his brow ridges in consideration.

"I… I can try! I…" he faded off as the pressure weighed on him, and thankfully his friend caught that quickly. To be clear; he wanted this a lot, but he could never want anything badly enough to make Bumblebee uncomfortable. Perhaps it was best they rested a bit, to restore their patience and approach this with clearer heads. He certainly needed a minute to relax from all this frustration...

"How about a break? We've been trying for a while, maybe a bit of down time will help." he proposed, already feeling a little better at the prospect of cooling down. Bumblebee shared the sentiment straight away, visibly relaxing on the spot and letting out a tiny sigh of his own. 

"Great idea Bulk! Let me just grab something…" he said happily, darting off and leaving the big bot alone with his supplies. Deciding to clean a bit to ease his mind, Bulkhead sorted the discarded canvases, hoping that he could paint over the unusable pictures with some white and reuse them. Seeing how much and how little progress he'd made at the same time made him wonder how he might improve on their next attempt. Nothing was coming to mind just yet, but that didn't mean he had lost hope. There had to be something on this planet that would motivate Bee to stay still, and by Primus he would find it!

As he was wiping up some paint that had managed to drip onto the floor, Bumblebee quite literally skidded back into the room, coming to a dead stop after running at full tilt. 

"I'm back! Just wanted to grab my game!" the little bot declared happily, waving the device about as he went to sit back on the smushed couch. The game had been a gift from Sari as well; some kind of earth console that had been sized up a few times over to better fit the servos of a Cybertronian. Smiling in acknowledgement, the big bot nodded as he went back to cleaning. Digital music met his audials as his friend started up the system and began to play, reclining on the couch as he settled in for a much needed break. Bulkhead had only had middling success with the games popular on earth, owed in large part to his size, but he was at least happy his friend could have some much needed fun with them. 

When the floor was finally cleaned up, he took stock of his slightly diminished inventory. There was still plenty of paint, and more than a few canvases, but if they continued at their current pace… He'd have to figure out a strategy before they tried this again, because otherwise this just wasn't going to work. Looking up at Bumblebee, he briefly considered proposing that they try this another day before his thoughts were systematically interrupted. 

Laying on his back over the pile of stuffing that had once been a couch, the small mech was entirely engrossed in his digital world, optics focused only on the screen as his digits rapidly tapped away on the controls. Other than the occasional shift of his expression, he was entirely motionless. It took Bulkhead a moment to process what he was seeing. Bumblebee was so rarely still, and never for this length of time… He didn't need to think much before he was reacting the only way he could.

Moving as silently as a mech of his size was able to, he grabbed what he needed, gathering his paints around himself as he got a fresh canvas and sat down before his easel. He couldn't have asked for a better setup; the pose, the lighting, it was all perfect. It was almost too much to hope this was real. Considering how many false starts he'd had, most could probably understand why he felt that way.

Daring to take his time, the big bot made every brush stroke count, trying to think of all the reasons he liked Bee so much as he made each one. His friend was confident, energetic, brave… All those thoughts motivated him every second he worked, and the results were soon apparent. The form of Bumblebee began to take shape rather quickly, coming together far more smoothly thanks to how relaxed he was. A base layer was ready to go in what felt like only a few minutes.

Oblivious to everything, Bumblebee kept right on playing, occasionally sticking his glossa out as he did so. Bulkhead contemplated including that detail in the piece, but ultimately decided against it. This was going to be a somewhat more dignified painting than that. 

When the time came to add lighting, he was almost over the moon, but he kept all the excitement to himself. Colors mixed together beautifully on his palette, forming the light and dark shades to the vibrant yellows and deep blacks that made up his friend's paint job. It was far more satisfying than painting even the most beautiful landscape he'd ever seen. Perhaps he was just a little biased on that front, but he did believe that painting things you truly cared about just brought them to life. One only had to glance at this piece to understand how much this bot meant to him.

It almost seemed like he was dreaming when each and every glance revealed Bumblebee to be sitting perfectly still, without a hint of movement beyond the minor. If this did turn out to be a dream, he'd at least be happy it was going so well. Fate had truly designed the perfect setup for them to finally get this done without any stress for either individual. 

Everything came together with what felt like only a few of the most well done strokes he'd ever painted. At long last, the bot he'd wanted to paint so badly had been captured on canvas! It was so exciting he couldn't hold back an exclamation as he set his brush down theatrically.

"Done!"

"Huh?!" Bumblebee gasped, half jumping on the spot as his game nearly flew from his servos. Looking about in a daze, he put the pieces together when he saw his friend, at which point guilt crossed his features. Time had slipped away from him even more so than it had for the very busy Bulkhead. "What? I… oh, Bulk! I didn't mean to get distracted! You could have stopped me earlier, I wouldn't have minded."

Waving off the appreciated but unnecessary apology, the big bot only smiled and wiped some paint from his servos, rising from his chair to puff his chest out with pride. "That's okay, I'm already finished."

"How?" the little bot gasped in awe, checking his internal chronometer to see just how long he'd been wrapped up in his game. It had only felt like a few minutes, but this wouldn't be the first time he'd gotten lost in a video game.

"Well, you were pretty content playing your game, so…" Bulkhead allowed his friend to put the rest of the pieces together, and in no time understanding dawned on the little mech. 

"Oh, I gotcha!" Bumblebee replied happily, quite relieved to have not held them up. If playing video games was what it had taken to make his friend happy, then he was quite fine with that. All he wanted was to get a look at the results, which he was certain would be incredible. "Here, let me see!"

Feeling a bit of shyness amongst his pride, Bulkhead handed over the canvas, careful to avoid the still drying paint.

"This is amazing!" Bumblebee proclaimed without hesitation, trying to be delicate even as he felt a surge of excitement upon beholding the painting. Of course he knew his friend had talent, but this was incredible! "Look at me, I look even better than usual!"

Bulkhead looked down to the floor and shuffled his pedes, doing his best to hide the blush creeping along his cheeks. "Well, I had a pretty great model."

"That's gonna sell fast, Bulkhead. No doubt about it." Bumblebee praised as he gave the painting back, confident in what he was saying. It didn't hurt that he was a good looking bot, but his friend had really done an especially good job on this one, and he was sure it would be bought up in no time. Taking the piece, the big bot smiled softly as he beheld it again. It had taken a lot of courage for him to get this, and he was quite proud of himself for that. As such, he held the painting very near and dear to his spark.

"Maybe, but… I think I'm gonna keep it, actually." he said softly, wanting to see it every day. There was a perfect place for it where he could do just that, not that he would say where that was. Bumblebee didn't mind the decision in the slightest.

However, when the little bot ducked in his friend's room later to pick up a borrowed item, he learned the true value of the painting to Bulkhead. On a wall reserved for only his most precious of works, the portrait sat high in a position of honor. Usually unable to say everything that came to mind due to overwhelming volume, Bee had been rendered speechless by the sight. Only a soft smile revealed how touched he was by the gesture. 

[protectwoc]

why all reylos are racist

y’all can go ahead and cancel me now because some of you are not going to like what i have to say and i am completely okay with that.

this recent gq interview with john boyega has incensed me. hearing all the things he went through, from disney and from “fans” and with no support from anyone… i’m livid. sometimes when i think about it for too long i start shaking, i’m so furious. and the response from the reylo fandom has infuriated me to a degree i honestly didn’t know was possible.

some of you may have seen my recent tumblr rampage. it’s reylo bullying hours here on my blog, and i’m not sorry either. one person threatened to post screenshots of my comments, which like… okay? i know what the fuck i said, it wasn’t that long ago. in fact i was going to include the screenshots in this post right here, but they blocked me before i had the chance. sorry. i’m sure somebody has them. anyway…

over the past two days in the star wars fandom we have seen something unprecedented: an outpouring of support for john boyega. both reylos and anti-reylos have joined forces to voice support for john in the wake of the gq interview (and the blm protests, let’s be real, some of y’all would not have given half a fuck if it wasn’t suddenly cool to be antiracist). and this showing of unity is one of the most rage-inducing things i’ve ever seen in a fandom (which is saying something; i have seen some shit).

reylo fandom, full offense intended, but where the fuck do you get off? you’re supporting john now? where was this support when tfa came out and you couldn’t stand the thought of him next to your white-girl-self-insert? where was it when tlj came out and your boy ryan completely sidelined him? where was it earlier this fucking year when y’all twisted a harmless joke (like yall haven’t spent years writing reylo-throne-room-sex-meta BULLSHIT) and ignored the vile racist shit coming from your own fav’s mouth? but you’re supporting him now? now that being antiracist is trendy? fuck outta here with that bullshit.

your fandom is the reason for the vast majority of the absolutely subhuman treatment john has endured over the last few years. your fandom influenced ryan (yes i know what his name is) to write tlj the way he did, you have behaved indefensibly here on tumblr.hell writing and drawing and fantasizing about all sorts of racist bullshit, and y’all have STAYED in his twitter mentions spewing hatred seven ways to sunday. but NOW, without a shred of self-reflection, you’re supporting him? now his experiences are valid?

the way that your fandom refuses to take accountability for its actions makes me see red. y’all stay on some “not all reylos” nonsense and i am SICK OF IT. i’m only gonna say this once, and i want you to hear me: you cannot be a reylo and be “antiracist”. you cannot participate in a fandom that has behaved the way yours has and say “blm, uwu acab.” you can’t. like do you think black people are dumb? that we can’t see right through you? we can.

“but rae,” i hear you whining. “you’re gonna say just because i like two characters together i’m a racist?” and of course not. that would be ludicrous. i think just because you knowingly engage and participate in a fandom that has racism encoded in its dna, you’re a racist. i think because y’all are in bed with racist harassers, racist trolls, and racist content creators, you’re a racist. that’s what the fuck i think. y’all lost the right to “it’s just a ship” me the instant you dragged john boyega into this.

here’s an example: i watched tfa about three days after it came out. i watched the first half, saw the obvious relationship set up between finn and rey, and thought, “aw, cute.” then i watched kylo and rey fight, watch him offer to teach her, and thought, “... interesting.”

when i got home i checked tumblr for finnrey content, saw the outpouring of love from black fans, all the cute fanart and fics blooming, and smiled. then, slowly, guiltily, i searched “reylo.”

BOOM. racism. the things i saw in the tag that night are tattooed on my brain. reylos rejoicing about the obvious rey/kyle pairing because “sw would never put her with that monkey finn”. calling him an “oaf”, “useless”, “bumbling”, “stupid”. reylos joking about how “when they talked about the Dark side, [they] didn’t think they meant that kind of dark.” “woke” reylos pretending to ship stormpilot in an obvious ploy to get finn away from kylo. and in between all of that, cute ship art. fun fics. talented gif makers. and nobody saying shit about the reprehensible behavior going on in their tag.

reylo is built on a foundation of racism. from that first week, racism has been woven into the fabric of your fandom, and it’s been going unchecked. and i don’t mean calling out other reylos. that’s not enough. i mean taking actual steps. y’all have been sitting in a cesspool of racism for five years, and its time for you to get the fuck out or shut the fuck up about being an “ally”. y’all need to leave this fandom.

don’t agree? here’s another story. in 2017, when i still watched supergirl (before i grew taste) i shipped karamel. for those of you who don’t know, karamel is the ship of kara zor-el (supergirl) and mon-el, her second love interest. when supergirl was moved to the cw for its second season, the decision was made to abruptly end her romance with jimmy olsen, played by mecahd brooks (a black man) and replace him with mon-el, played by chris wood, a white man, who was revealed to be, among other things, an alien slaveowner, as well as a playboy and all-around terrible person. and i shipped them. look, i’m not defending myself, but i never really bought the chemistry between jimmy and kara. even though mon-el’s introduction and the way that they carelessly disregarded kara’s feelings for jimmy made me uncomfortable, i thought the way melissa played her attraction to chris wood was more believable (and again, i’m not defending myself, but they are now married so it’s not like i was wrong). so i shipped them. simple as that, right?

well, no. not really. because the inherent racism in the way the writers wrote out her admittedly sweet romance with a black man in favor of a white slaveowner jerk kept bothering me. and finally i decided that it made me too uncomfortable to participate in. i never really reblogged any karamel fandom stuff, but i completely divorced myself from the fandom. i stopped reading karamel fic, and i switched to reblogging exclusively jimmy/kara content until the fandom died out/i stopped watching. i made a choice that real life racism is more important to me than a fucking fandom or a ship, and then i acted accordingly. simple as that.

and i’m not saying you have to stop liking the reylo dynamic. i still like the chemistry between kara and mon-el. i’ve shipped problematic ships before (bamon comes to mind) and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that (to a point). but there’s a difference between liking a ship dynamic and engaging and contributing to a fan culture of racism. you have to stop participating in the fandom. y’all are in bed with people indistinguishable from confederate-flag-waving-all-lives-matter-touting racists and you don’t feel the need to get out of that environment? there comes a certain point where you have to decide if fandom bullshit is more important to you than fighting racism, and unfortunately, reylos have chosen wrong. that, ladies and gentlemen, is why all reylos are racist, regardless of what they say. roll credits.

except i have more to say, so i’m gonna say it. first of all, i’m not trying to hold myself up as some kind of paragon of virtue. i’m not holier-than-thou because all my ships are “woke” or whatever. chemistry is subjective, and we’re all going to be attracted to different ship dynamics, and there’s nothing wrong with that in theory. what matters is the execution. i finally had to say one day, “you know, this ship and the racist baggage it carries is actually less important to me than battling systemic racism on every level, including the fandom level”. y’all thought being antiracist was gonna be easy? that you wouldn’t have to make some actual changes, to make some actual sacrifices? sorry not sorry to disappoint. and if i, a normal-ass person with flaws and problematic thinking that i’m still dealing with and the whole ine yards, can make that decision, then other people should be required to as well.

(what really irks me is that the karamel fandom wasn’t even really that bad! i definitely could have gotten away with being a karamel stan in 2017. thankfully the supercat and supercorp shippers were doing the lord’s work and bullying them into submission (don’t think i’m letting y’all off the hook either, y’all have got some racism to deal with as well but that’s an essay for another day) but like most of the racism happened at the writing level; the fandom itself wasn’t engaging in racist clownery on the regular. but like the reylos are. y’all see racist bullshit coming from your neighbor, fav fic writer, artist, gif maker, whatever, and don’t say shit? don’t feel the need to distance yourself from them? gtfoh.)

i made this argument earlier when i was on my rampage (which i’m still on btw so don’t clown in my inbox, you will get your shit rocked) but i’m going to make it again because i feel like its important to note. when i pointed out that existing in the reylo fandom while you are aware of its racism makes you complicit in that racism, a white reylo told me earlier that (paraphrasing, my memory’s not as good as it used to be and i did mention that they’d blocked me) “you don’t solve a problem like systemic racism by ignoring it. leaving the fandom would be allowing it to happen.” when i pointed out that that’s police officer rhetoric almost verbatim, she (a white reylo) admonished me (a black woman) not to compare police brutality to a “ship war.” lmao.

look, clearly y’all need a refresher on what “systemic” means. it means, quite simply, that there are systems, large and small, allow for racism to exist, and it also means that allowing for racism to exist on the small scale means expecting it on a large one. like you think police officers spring fully formed from the head with racist ideals already ingrained? no! they learn it and learn to justify it with “well just because my friend made a racist joke doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because i laughed at my friend’s using a racist term in my video game doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because my friend is a racist doesn’t mean i’m a racist” and then we have people watching their coworkers kneel on a man’s back for 8 minutes with no remorse. i’m not gonna solve police brutality by fighting reylos on tumblr, but fandom racism is real racism with consequences on our world, and i don’t tolerate ANY type of racism. and the fact that you are so willing to not just tolerate it but justify it should say something to you.

and not all reylos are like this. similar to cops, good reylos don’t last. i have seen people grow so disgusted by the racism in the reylo fandom that they publicly turned their backs on it, and those reylos i respect. you’ve heard of “the only good cop is an ex-cop” well get ready for “the only good reylo is an ex-reylo”.

(and also like far be it from me to justify a cop but one could at least say they have their livelihoods to think about (not like they couldn’t just pick a nonmurderous profession but i digress) but you reylos can’t even choose between taking a stance against the hateful and unjustified bullying of a man who had the audacity to… get a job (?)... over a ship? come on now.)

the point of all this is, for all their posturing about “being antiracist” and “fuck 12” and “support john boyega”, reylos have decided that a relationship between two fictional people is more important than all the black and brown people who are hurt by that decision and the consequences of that decision. and before y’all pull some “b-but there are POC reylos!” (stop fucking using poc as an adjective, its a noun, it stands for person of color, please use it as such) internalized racism is a thing. busting out your token “reylo of color” (see how easy that was?) is not going to change my mind. all reylos are complicit in the racism of their peers, and being complicit makes you culpable. full stop.

and that is why the public support of john boyega from the reylo fandom has me seeing red. renounce your fandom or keep that man’s name out of your mouth. anyway, this was long and ranty and entirely stream-of-consciousness and i’m refusing to edit it so it’s probably completely incomprehensible to anyone besides me but if you made it this far thanks for reading ig. all reylos are racist, blm, fuck 12, acab, stan john boyega, don’t clown in my inbox unless you’re coming to bully me for being a karamel shipper, which i deserve (or do, i couldn’t give less of a fuck). good night.

[cybertronian-cupid]

owo what’s this? a n e w blog?

r e j o i c e for yet another oasis has formed in the middle of content drought!

anyway hi, welcome, how are you? hope your start hasn’t been too overwhelming, i would like to request something easy, just some autumn fluff with TFA Ratchet/Reader? Maybe reader is a quiet and soft motherly type that is always either knitting, cooking, or embroidering? cottage core stuff, y’know

WE SHALL HELP QUENCH THE THIRST OF FELLOW FANS, BE IT FOR SOFTNESS OR OTHER THINGS MWAHAHAHA! DRINK UP, MATEYS!

But first, HI, THANK YOU FOR THE WARM WELCOME, DOING ALRIGHTY Trying to find the balance with how much to post, excited over finaly running it all AND NOPE, Mila is wonderful and makes sure we (read: me) don't rush headfirst into burnout!

As for your request, my exact words when first reading it were:

"Awhhhh, precious~ LOVE the soft cottagecore peeps!"

Decided to do a more headcanon approach, since there is so much that can be done! ~Gregoria🏩

Thank you so much for the warm welcome and the adorable request! We appreciate your kind words, and hope you enjoy this request and, if you happen to have another, send one in soon ^u^

For now, enjoy! ~Mila💟

....................... ....................... .......................

Ratchet can sit together with reader in comfortable silence for hours, just basking in their presence, while he tries to make sense of crosswords and sudokus. To some constant klik-klacking of knitting needles would get annoying after a while, but to him it's just the right amount of noise to help him think.

He loves herbal tea, and enjoys nothing more than drinking some, while cuddling under a blanket. He likes to be comfortable, so what?! Zip it youngsters!

When the two of them go apple picking for the first time, he makes the mistake of biting into an apple right away. The laughter at his expression and giggles the reader still gets when they remember his disgust, almost outweighs the memory of tasting a squirming worm on his glossa.

Watching them forage for berries and mushrooms made him realize, just how much variety humans have at their fingertips.

And how delicious that variety can be, when prepared by reader.

Creamy porcini mushroom soup with a spoon of sour cream, smoked yellow chanterelles alongside golden baked potatoes, mushroom spreads on homemade bread, not to mention the wide variety of jams and jellies your pantry holds... How does the saying go again? The way to a man's heart, is through his stomach? Well, he certainly agrees with it, if he can get another slice of that delicious apple pie. Or a baked apple. Ohhhh are those caramel ones?

(And here is a little scenario that just wouldn't leave me alone!)

🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂

"Ratchet, could you help me with this for a second?"

He hums, letting the reader know he heard her. After deciding the bird-scaring-straw-man won't topple over anytime soon, he turns around to look at what she needs his help with.

His optics widen as he sees her holding what, given human proportions, would be a very big and thick end of a ridiculously long, woolen blanket. Given his proportions, and that he has seen her make one before, he knows it’s a scarf.

"For me?"

Pointless question, as if any of the others are here. Still she smiles, nodding, motioning for him to come closer.

His joints aren't what they used to be, but he decides to kneel anyway, so she can make sure her handiwork is wrapped around his neck "the right way". He remembers that little nagging match the two of them had, sounding like they've been at each other's side for light years. Sari and Bumblebee were groaning and teasing him for a week, not shutting about "seeing Grandpa GrumpyPants get nagged and get a kiss by the end of it".

A soft tutt draws his attention back to her, as she pluck out a leaf that got stuck in the fabric.

"It's getting cold out, doctor," she says and looks up at him, a smile dancing at the corner of her lips.

"Make sure you bundle yourself up when you go out, alright?"

Energon rushes to his faceplate and he looks away, grumbling something that might resemble a "yes dear".

Standing on her tippy toes, she presses a kiss to his cheek and earns a reluctant smile.

"I was thinking of roasting some chestnuts. Care to join me?"

His servo brushes over the edge of his new scarf, marveling at the softness, just like the first time you wrapped one around him. Probably wrapped him around your fingers while you were at it too.

Ratchet has no idea what kind of nuts might grow from a chest, or if they are simply stored in one. He doesn't particularly care if he enjoys them or not.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

What he does know, is that Autumn might just become his favourite Earth season.

[3pirouette]

Fic: She Wanted (1/1)

Title: She Wanted By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Spoilers: CA: TFA Disclaimer: They're not mine. Word Count: 3100 Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)

Story Summary: Peggy wants to eat Skinny Steve alive.

Chapter A/N: Written for Steggy bingo Bash Prompt “Oral Sex” This is explicit and graphic. No fade to black stuff here. Strictly for adults. If you are not an adult, I highly suggest you skip this particular piece of fiction. ADULTS ONLY. Also, if you are not an adult who enjoys explicit sex acts, please ALSO skip this.

This is filthy. And also the prompt comes back around, I promise, it just takes a while. I’m sorry… or you’re welcome. I’m not sure which applies.

~*~ There were two things Peggy had heard about herself floating around Camp Lehigh.

The first was that she was a prude. Regarding this, she never felt the need to correct people, and it had never come up in her presence, so she didn’t pay that one much mind.

The second was that her particular shade of red lipstick would look beautiful with her lips wrapped around the base of a soldier’s cock, gagging it down. Now this, Peggy couldn’t much argue with. She did, in part, pick her particular color because she thought it made her lips look sinfully good. It made her feel desirable and powerful in a way that had nothing to do with the men around her and everything to do with how she felt when she wore it. If the red did just happen to turn heads, that was a positive side effect. The part about gagging down cocks she could take or leave.

Oral sex never held much of a draw for her. Her experiences, giving and receiving, had been largely underwhelming when compared with actual sex and hand jobs. She thought many of the solders would be scandalized to learn that Agent Peggy Carter, strait-laced Marge, had not only slept with her fiancé before they’d been engaged, but had been quite the experimental teenager.

She’d overheard a comment or two here and there, seen the men adjust themselves as she walked by, but it never fazed her. She was here for a job, a reason, and the meatheads she trained weren’t worth her time or energy.

They could imagine her gagging on their cocks all they liked, it didn’t mean their little fantasy would ever become a reality.

The soldiers at the camp never held her interest. She could appreciate a well sculpted body and wonder what they looked like under their uniform, or imagine how strong arms might hold her up against the brick wall out behind the mess, but her own fantasies were just that: fantasies, and they often vanished once she managed to actually have a conversation with the man in question. If they could jerk off to her lips in the showers, she could damn well slip her fingers between her legs and think about them fucking her from behind under cover of the munitions building.

She had needs, and getting them met in wartime often meant she handled things herself. It was quick and efficient, and had the lovely attached perk of not getting her in trouble for fraternization. If a private starred in a fantasy here and there, it made no difference.

Until Steve Rogers.

Until she found herself eager to get back to her bunk every night just so she could let her imagination run wild as she slipped her fingers into her slick heat.

The first time his face popped up in her mind she was surprised. So surprised, in fact, that she slowed her fingers to a stop, biting her lip and wondering where that had come from. All she could think of was his smile: his charming little smile, and without her notice her fingers began moving again, sliding against her lips and clit, teasing as she thought about his impossibly blue eyes and the way he smiled.

She came, hard, and spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, wondering what had happened.

The next night she tried to fit him into her favorite fantasy: a clandestine meeting behind the munitions building, soft touches of the hands before he pushed her up against the brick wall, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. She tried to imagine him lifting her from her feet, and dissolved into a pool of giggles, thinking that she’d break the poor boy in half if she tried that with him. He was sweet and adorable, and his intense gaze made her nipples hard when he looked at her, but Peggy knew that he wasn’t strong enough to hoist her up anywhere, at any time.

The next day she tried not to think of those thoughts as she ran the group of men through calisthenics, but she couldn’t help take a peek at his ass when she walked behind them, couldn’t help but look at the crotch of his trousers as he stood at attention.

She wanted to make his cock stand at attention.

The thought hit her from left field and left her clit throbbing. She crossed her legs, hoping to relieve the painful tingle as blood rushed south, her mind conjuring up visions of what might lay under his baggy pants as she cued them to the next exercise.

Was it thick and short, like Fred’s had been?

Long and thin, like her high school boyfriend?

She’d had a one-night stand with a chap just before she’d met Fred, and his cock curved, long and thick and heavy in her hand.

Peggy couldn’t help but lick her lips, her mouth suddenly dry as her brain wondered if he was circumcised, and how he’d feel in her hand as she pumped him to completion across her chest.

They were on their backs now, Steve trying and failing horribly to complete sit ups. She imagined stepping over, sitting across his hips, and grinding on him like a teenager. She thanked god for the thick army issue clothes as she felt her panties soak through at the thought of taking him, then and there. Sinking down on his dick, long but thin she’d decided, rocking back and forth with her hands on his chest, rubbing herself on him, his dick inside her, his little breathy moans under her.

The whole garrison watching.

Those damn meatheads who joked about her being a prude being shown they were wrong, the ones who wanted her to choke on their dicks jealous that she picked Steve. That she chose Steve.

The image left her breathless, and wanting. It didn’t help that all she could hear were Steve’s little grunts as they flipped and moved on to push-ups. His breathless sounds were exactly how she imagined he’d sound under her.

Peggy wanted to make him breathless. She wanted to make him moan. She wanted to take his cock in her mouth and leave a ring of a red lipstick in the curls at the base.

From then on, he was her favorite nighttime subject.

Her usual fantasies had to be thrown out the window. He couldn’t lift her, couldn’t hold her down with his weight. But she did like to imagine him being forceful: ordering her to slide off her panties from under her uniform and sliding his thin, beautiful fingers up inside her. She liked to imagine him taking her in missionary, something she rarely fantasized about, because she liked the idea of wrapping herself around him, of feeling his whole body pressed up against hers and his full body weight pressing down on her when he’s finished. She imagined he undresses her slow, takes his time. She imagined he would take her with his mouth, slowly and carefully, raking his fingers over her thighs and through her curls, nipping and biting and finding out what she liked before covering every inch with his tongue. Swirling and sucking, his big, blue eyes looking up at her as she played with her own nipples, a slim finger, then two entering her, curling up, pumping in and out, his inquisitive mind trying things and learning quick until she was panting under him.

That was her favorite fantasy.

Her brain told her that he’d be shy about his body, his thin frame and his hip bones sticking out.

It made her want to lick every inch of him all the more.

The day he got the flag down was the day she decided she’ll have him, one way or another. The way he smiled at her from the back of the jeep sent shivers down her spine and to her clit. She rode back with her legs crossed, cursing and loving each and every bump in the road.

When she saw him dive on the grenade, intent on saving them all, selfless and sure, she was done for. She came hard that night, biting her pillow to keep from screaming his name as her fingers worked her sensitive flesh furiously.

She knew Phillips was against picking him, and that worked well for her plans. If he was discharged, she could ask him out. She could take him back to the little apartment off base that some of the girls shared to get some time away, she could lick him from ear to ankle and ride him until he came on the threadbare sofa. When they discharged him, she could have her way with that man and his gorgeous little smirks, his can-do attitude, and his persistence.

Then they picked him.

She barely had three days before he would be undergoing the procedure.

Erskine had, very clearly, told everyone involved that there was a chance of death, and yet they’d all signed up.

He’d signed up.

She lay in bed the night they chose him, hand sitting between her legs but unmoving. She felt no joy thinking that he might have only days to live. That she’d never be able to kiss the cocky smile off his lips or slip her hands in his pants to cup his balls and hear him squeak and moan in surprise pleasure.

She took her hand from her panties and brought her thumbnail to her teeth, worrying it as she stared at the ceiling.

A fitful sleep, and a long day of planning for the procedure, left her frustrated and tired the next night. She knew if she could get off she’d feel better, sleep better, but the worry was still there. She worried that her Steve, somewhere along the way she’d come to think of him as her Steve, would be hurt or lost in the experiment.

She closed her eyes and slipped her hand under the blanket, letting her fingers rest there, her other hand drifting over her breast. She tried to call up all sorts of fantasies, with and without Steve, but none of them worked. She tried one last time, taking a deep breath and letting the fantasy haze over her.

She shows up in his barracks in her robe and nothing else. He is the only one there. She gets on her knees and starts to unbuckle his belt, followed by his pants. He stutters, telling her she doesn’t have to, that he can’t ask her to do that. She smiles, bright red lipstick fresh on her lips, and cups him through the fabric. He moans and his objections are lost. She slides his pants down skinny legs. The thin, blonde hair is sparse, and she runs her nails through it, making him shiver. He’s throbbing, more than half hard. She stands, taking his shirt off and tossing it aside. She licks her lips before sucking a tiny, pink nipple in her mouth, her hand going to his cock as she feels it bobbing against her thigh. She pumps over him gently, slipping his nipple through her teeth before taking the other, her strokes getting more insistent. She kneels, and in one motion takes him in her mouth. She moves back and forth, one hand at his base, the other gently cradling his balls, and he moans. She makes him breathless as she swirls her tongue over the head, tickling that spot just under the tip that she knows is so, so sensitive before taking him as deep as she can go again. Over and over she repeats it, keeping a slow and steady pace. She starts to squeeze him at the base tighter, her hands more insistent as she moves quicker, sucking harder, letting her tongue press against him from base to tip over and over again, finally sucking at just the head until he grabs her shoulders, a stuttered warning coming from the back of his throat just before he comes, spilling his warmth in her mouth and down the back of her throat, over her chin and trickling down to her chest as she lets him fall from her lips.

Peggy came hard, her walls spasming against her fingers, her hand tight on the mound of her breast as she tried to keep from crying out, teeth biting herd into her lip.

She tried to force her ragged breathing to slow. She was shaking, and knew this would not help her sleeping problem.

She wanted to get up and go right then, her heart pounding in her chest and the adrenaline in her system made her brave. She wanted to undress him and let her red nails roll over his ribs, each and every skinny, exposed rib. She wanted to kiss his hip bones and press him back into bed. She wanted to see his face when she sat over him, naked. She wanted to know what it felt like for those fingers to pinch at her nipples, what it would feel like for him to pull and twist and suck on them as she rode him hard. She wanted to know if the sounds he made in basic, the grunts and moans and sighs, are the same sounds he’d make if she took him in her mouth and in her pussy.

Before she could lose her nerve she got up, wiping her fingers on her slip and throwing on the uniform she’d laid out for tomorrow. She pulled her pins out in a hurry and only bothered with eye liner and the red lipstick. Her boots took so long to tie she nearly changed her mind.

She was moving before she could stop herself, and found herself at his barracks, now alone that he’s been picked for the project, far quicker than she imagined.

She stood, staring at the door, fists clenching and unclenching, when the door opened.

Steve startled when he saw her there. “Agent Carter?”

She set her shoulders, determined and far calmer than she felt inside. “May I come in?”

He opened the door wide, even though it was late and dark and if they were caught it could be curtains for both of them. He was far too polite to tell a superior office she couldn’t join him. She could see by the way he squared his shoulders he expects her visit will be about the project, something serious.

Well, this was serious, but in a far different way.

“How can I help you?” He asked in his trousers, undershirt, and stocking feet. His bed was mussed, like he’d just been in and hopped out.

“I’m here on… on a private matter,” she said softly. Peggy licked her lips out of nervousness and couldn’t help but feel a thrill when his eyes dipped down at them.

“Oh?” he asked gently, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Yes,” she continued, trying to smile. “Quite unofficial, actually.” She turned away from him, hands fidgeting as she paced. She found she was much more nervous now with his bright blue eyes boring into her. “So unofficial that it could get me sacked, really.”

Steve tipped his head in confusion. “Agent—”

“Peggy, please,’ she corrected him, turning to look in his eyes. “I quite like you,” she blurted out.

His eyes grew wide, his shoulders pulling back in surprise. “You?”

“Yes. Is that so unbelievable?”

“Well, I mean a dame, no a girl- a woman like yourself,” he corrected himself, stuttering over and over again, and she felt a buzzing between her legs as a blush crept up his cheeks. “I’m just…”

“You’re just kind of wonderful, I think,” she filled in, moving closer. “And I needed you to know that before all of this continues.”

He smiled at her, radient. “That’s... I… I’m sweet on you, too.”

His confession warmed her from the inside out, emboldened her. “Then, perhaps, you’ll indulge me?”

He chuckled, and she thought maybe this was the most endearing she’d ever seen him. “I’m inclined to do anything you want right now,” he answered, somehow making it both flirty and a little self-deprecating.

“Oh, don’t say that yet,” she warned in a low, soft voice.

“Is this the part that could get you sacked?”

She smiled. “If we do it right.”

~*~

She spent that night in his bed, learning that he was respectably both average and thick, heavy in her hand but he prefers her mouth and she was happy to indulge. When he slipped inside her he felt like heaven and having his full body weight on hers when he finished felt like the best thing she’s ever known. He was unpracticed, and they fumbled more often than not, but when she came to him the second night things flowed smoother. He licked at her nipples like a dying man scouring the dessert for water, making her writhe under him. His eyes grew wide as saucers, watching her breasts bounce in the moonlight over him as she rode him. He watched her orgasm twice under his fingers, learning quickly where and how she liked to be touched.

She was shaking, from the thrill and the fear, as she left him that next morning to get changed, only to meet him at the front gate, ready to escort him to Howard’s laboratory.

Her heart pounded as she watched him in the pod, as she listened to him scream in a way she’s never heard and hopes to never hear again.

When he stepped out, she couldn’t help herself. She needed to touch him, needed to feel him under her fingers, needed to know he was alive and still the skinny, adorable man she’d fallen in love with.

She remembered herself, her station, and their location, before she managed to make a total fool of herself.

Her heart pounded in a different way now. His fingers were still long and thin but stronger and thicker, his chest was so broad she could curl up on it and stay there for days. His thighs and legs, his arms, every piece of him was stronger and larger and she felt conflicted as all of the blood in her brain started to rush south. She was already mourning the loss of his thin touch, the exposed ribs, the bumps of his spine under her fingers.

But she looked him over again, and knew that her fantasy about getting lifted in his arms and taken hard and fast against the brick wall behind the munitions tent was absolutely a real possibility now.

[him-e]

Sorry if you’ve answered or written something like this before but Tumblr search is bringing up nothing for me, but why do you think RoS was so crummy after TFA and TLJ were both good? RoS isn’t even a good popcorn movie and makes huge basic mistakes in editing and writing, it’s not just the character or theme stuff that’s bad. How did the same company that made TFA and TLJ make RoS?

A few reasons I can think of:

Time worked against it. It was rushed. The final movie of a saga so big needed more than a couple years of production. 

No blueprint behind its writing. No preplanned plot, no predetermined theme or narrative to focus on to make the actual writing smoother and easier, other than a generic “make the audience happy” and “do what the OT did but more spectacularly”. (Rian Johnson also allegedly didn’t have to follow any preestablished plot points, but second chapter movies are usually less eager to please than final chapter ones, there’s much less pressure involved, and they can get away with a lot of thing, including being “cruel” to the protagonists, which is usually a good thing for the story)

The director was fired and replaced halfway through the project. Very little of what Trevorrow originally planned for this movie was kept. This means that a) The final TROS script was even more rushed than it would have been under normal circumstances; b) there was a lot of meddling on Disney’s part in the writing---we thought this was because they cared for the quality of the final product, but no such thing had happened with either TFA or TLJ; c) just like trying to overwrite a failed drawing rarely ends in anything successful, having to work on the basis of a former failed attempt is not a good place to start.

The wrong people were involved. People who never gave a shit about what SW is trying to say behind the superficial blockbuster quality of it, nor did any effort to do any research at all or focus on a specific non-plot related theme or message. Chris Terrio in place of good old Lawrence Kasdan, and...

JJ Abrams. I though bringing back the director that started the trilogy in the first place was a good move. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t. Given the (irresponsible) lack of a preestablished plan, this trilogy should have been given to either one single director or three different ones. Either you’re gonna trust one single director to bring forward a single narratively and stylistically homogeneous vision, or you’re letting each director expand freely on the former movie’s set up towards original directions. They did that with Johnson, then bailed and reverted to JJ’s vision (with JJ, predictably, trying to pick up from where he left rather than where Rian left), which makes TLJ stick out like a sore thumb while TROS feels like a stale rehash with none of the freshness and wide-eyed excitement that comes with starting something from scratch that TFA had.

also, JJ Abrams notoriously sucks at endings.

the worst crime however was caving in to the whims of the most toxic part of the fanbase and trying to course-correct the route taken by TLJ by catering, again, to the average white american dude who “grew up with Star Wars”, which they erroneously thought was the demographic to bank on financially and the one that would *set the tone* of the overall audience response. In doing so, they almost surgically avoided any sort of subtext, message or original thought to make the blandest possible movie, with the blandest and most derivative take on themes like redemption, legacy and heroism.

[regalloki]

Memories

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: It’s the last night before Bucky’s departure to go fight in the war, so you visit the Stark Expo together along with Steve. It’s your last date, so you make some memories to look back to while he’s away.

Warnings: a whole ton of fluff 

Author’s note: Bucky’s backstory is based on the TFA tie-in comic and the Captain America and Bucky comics cause we see very little of his life pre-TFA (the mcu has done us wrong tbh). Also the reader can be read as gender neutral!

Word count: 2196

18 March, 1943

It was the day before he’d leave. He had just received his orders, being appointed sergeant of the 107th. Admittedly, you were a tad bit bitter. You weren’t worried for him, per se. Bucky was capable in hand-to-hand combat and an excellent marksman as well and could very well hold his own against men stronger than him. He was a natural, after all, having a knack for that sort of stuff. He was the three-time YMCA welterweight boxing champion, so, surely, he knew how to put up one hell of a good fight. During training in Wisconsin, he quickly and steadily rose up the hierarchy and the ranks to earn the title of sergeant. He would indubitably be a valuable asset to his regiment. However, watching him go was, for you, nothing short of tormenting.

You caught sight of Bucky heading towards you, charming as ever, sporting that beguiling cheeky grin that made your knees buckle. He looked positively stunning and you caught yourself unabashedly checking him out. His confident strut, cocky posture and calm nature added to the undaunted and self-assured allure, but the gleam in his entrancing baby blues, the slight tip of his head and the lovesick subconscious smile he didn’t manage to conceal after quickly catching a glimpse of you were a dead giveaway of his feigned composure.

Beneath that cool, tough and charming veneer, Bucky was an utter sweetheart. He wouldn’t be caught dead admitting it, but he was more silly and sentimental than he came across as. A huge sop, Bucky had a thing for being close to you. He liked falling asleep on you, listening to your heart beat or the low, soothing vibrations of your chest whenever you’d softly hum some made-up tune to lull him into a peaceful slumber. His hand had practically molded against your own. He was by all means a sucker for hand holding, but he’d rather not be seen. He had a reputation to withhold, after all. However, he managed to sneak his calloused hand in yours here and there, under a table or during those long cuddle sessions he liked after a particularly hard day when you were both alone at last. Bucky also had a weak spot for kisses. He tried his utmost to be stealthy and clandestine in public, but he oftentimes yielded to his desire and would slyly steal a few. If there’s one thing Bucky relished more than kissing you, it was being kissed by you. When you two were alone during the scarce downtime you’d get, all types of kisses were in order. Cheek kisses, mouth kisses, forehead kisses, neck kisses. They made Bucky feel enveloped by a welcoming surge of warmth and tenderness. He savored those moments, for they made him feel loved and cherished. It was safe to say he was absolutely smitten.

You took great joy in calling him out for how sensitive he is. His cheeks would immediately blush a gentle shade of tomato red and he would hang his head low in a desperate attempt to hide his toothy, broad smile he spectacularly failed to hold back and collect himself. But he knew it was absolute nonsense and all in good fun. He was aware of how fond you were of his clinginess and how cute you thought his gimmicks are.

“Hi, darling”, he greeted you, the low trill of his voice alone enough to make your heart skip a beat. He hugged you, briefly and slyly grazing his lips against your cheek.

He looked quite dapper in his uniform. Undoubtedly, he cleaned up nicely, you had to give him that. You were had been accustomed to a considerably ruggier look. His hair tended to be a messy halo around his head and strands would pop up here and there to frame and accentuate his handsome features. He sometimes even boasted a few bruises or marks, tell-tale signs of some recent tussle. He was never the one to shy out of a fight, although Steve was usually the one to get himself caught up in one and Bucky would be the one to defend his friend- and get a few good licks in before drawing Steve away.

You handed them their tickets to the Stark Expo. Bucky was ecstatic to find out he would be around in Brooklyn long enough to be able to go. You decided to get tickets for the two of you and Steve, something like a parting gift for Bucky. You smiled at the memory of when you told him you could all go together. His eyes went wide and he seemed so thrilled. You’ve lost count of how many times he thanked you. 

The two of you started walking side by side, stealing glances and smiles. Further down the road, you met with Steve. The three of you started catching up. Bucky told you all about Becca’s baking disaster and Steve’s latest misadventure in the back of an alley that morning. You giggled at Bucky’s frustration and at Steve’s endeavor to justify his shenanigans. 

“Buck- Bucky! Hear me out! That jerk was being disrespectful and he made that woman cry! What was I supposed to do-”

“Try not to get into a fight, that’s what! It’s been, what, the third time I’ve found you getting beat up in an alley or behind some diner just this month! I’m worried for you, Steve! I won’t be here to bail you out!”

“But-”

“Can’t you for once just do as your told? You know what? You may be my best friend but you also make for one hell of a pain in my ass, Rogers.”

You stifled a giggle at the two friends bickering. Before you knew it, the three of you arrived at the Expo. It was jaw-dropping and imposing. The lights, the inventions, the fireworks. Howard Stark sure knew how to put on a sensational show.

The inventions displayed at the Expo were astonishing and unprecedented. Flying cars, synthetic bodies, futuristic engines. You watched as Bucky marveled at the expeditions. He looked like a kid in a candy store, eyes wide and gleaming with excitement and mouth agape in wonder. The childlike enthusiasm and amazement in his eyes made you smile uncontrollably. You loved seeing him happy.

After a while, Steve left and Bucky went after him, concerned for him. Steve seemed in a bit of a haze, as if something was troubling him. He decided to not join you for the rest of the night.

“You know, he tried to enlist again this mornin’. God knows how many times he’s tried. He’s dead set on joining the army.”, Bucky explained.

“It kind of reminds me of someone”, you retorted.

“I’m just scared he’s way in over his head. War’s more brutal than some backalley. And if he keeps lying on enlistment forms they’ll either catch him or, God forbid, take him. It really gets on my nerves how thick-headed he is.”, Bucky said, looking down on his shoes.

“You know how Steve is. He has always had a fight in him. So have you. Steve wants to fight for what he believes is right. That’s his calling.”

“I’m worried sick he’ll get hurt and I won’t be there for him. He’s pretty keen on doing stupid  things.”

“You’re a good friend, Buck.”

The two of you strolled around the Expo. Bucky, all giddy and excited, ran around telling you all about the fascinating inventions. He surely loved showing off to you.  After a while, the conversation drifted elsewhere.

“Aren’t you scared? I mean, you said it yourself, war is brutal.”, you asked.

“I am. I couldn’t possibly not be.”, he chuckled almost nervously. “But it’s my duty to fight, the way it was my father’s before me. That’s one of the reasons I enlisted, you know. I wanted to finally make him proud. I had caused enough problems for him, especially after Ma died.”

“I don’t think that’s true. George loved you”

“I always got into trouble. After she passed away, I had to pretend everything is fine for Becca’s sake. But deep down I was scared and angry. Angry at everyone and everything. I would constantly get into fights, not unlike Steve. Maybe that’s why I’m so protective of him. I don’t want him to make the mistakes I did.”, he continued, head hanging down low. “Dad made a point of telling me how let down he was in me when I would come home wounded and bruised, but I don’t blame him. It’s just… His last words to me, before the accident, still ring in my head. ‘I’m disappointed in you, Bucky. You’ve really let me down here.’”, he muttered.

“You were a kid, Buck. You were processing so much grief and anger. You needed a way to unleash it. Sure, it wasn’t the best one. But you learned and grew from all this pain.”, you encouraged him.

“You’re pretty great, you know that?”, he chuckled, seemingly less on edge now. “I’ll miss you”

“You’re not too bad yourself, Barnes.”

“I’ll miss home, you know. You, Steve, Becca. But, at least, the thought of returning home will keep me going. God, I’ll miss you”

The two of you walked and talked for what seemed like hours, having a sincere heart to heart. After some time, you came across a photobooth. You both wanted to commemorate that night, so Bucky suggested taking a few pictures and you happily agreed.

You sat in the small, crammed space side by side. You placed your hand on his thigh, somewhat cheekily and he laid his head on your shoulder. You started taking pictures. While you were preoccupied with making silly faces for the camera, Bucky was busy keeping his eyes on you. You could feel his gaze on you, and, before you knew it, he laid a loving kiss on your cheek. He caught you by surprise, and the gentle touch of his lips on your cheek resulted in a toothy, ear-to-ear grin spreading across yours. You turned to him, seeing him beam at you adoringly. 

You could never get over how utterly and ridiculously impeccable and downright perfect he looked. His features were flawless. His piercing eyes were a breathtaking bright, steely blue. They glimmered in moments like these, when he was serene and content. The affectionate looks he gave you made your heart skip several beats. His rosy lips were soft and his kisses were tender and so sweet, you thought he could give you toothaches by merely kissing you. His nose was cute as a button and it took genuine effort on your part to not gently peck it with every chance you get. His hair was a velvety and silky mess with a few curls here and there framing his face and you wanted to gently card your hair through it and mess it up even more. His jaw strong jaw and cute little buttchin were the cherry on top. Bucky called to mind those Hollywood actors audiences swooned at. He was truly a sight for sore eyes.

You ogled at him long enough that a faint blush rose on his cheeks. He looked ravishing and irresistible so, without delay, you fondly grasped his neck and drove him into a passionate kiss on the lips. It wasn’t rushed or heated, but delicate and mellow. He leaned into your touch, craving it, and lowly hummed in content and satisfaction, as he cupped and caressed your cheek.

He pulled away with a delighted smile on his face. Both your hearts were bursting at their seams with pure, sheer love and affection for each other. That love transcended anything superficial, like looks or charm. Bucky had a heart of gold and sometimes it was too heavy for his own good. He cared so much for others that it took a toll on himself. But he was sincerely kind hearted and caring. You genuinely admired and appreciated him for that. He’s extremely loyal and devoted. He never gave up on anyone, not Steve nor his sister nor you. He was thrice as strong emotionally as he was physically, having to go through all that pain and despair and still be his sister’s rock. Bucky was an angel and he deserved the purest and sweetest love there is. And you wanted nothing more than to give him that.

Bucky grabbed the photos with a small smile on his features.

“You look nice”, he complemented.

“Not nearly as nice as you”, you replied, the words escaping your mouth before you knew it.

The grin disappeared from his lips in realization. The night was drawing to a close and he’d never get to share one with you for the foreseeable future. He started holding onto those photos a little harder now. 

“There you go.”, he said. moving his hand to give them to you.

“Keep them”, you retorted. “To remember me while you’re away.”

“To be frank, sweetheart, I don’t think I’d be able to forget you. In fact, I think I’d struggle to think of something else.”, he chuckled. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Buck.”

[lajulie24]

TROS thoughts (spoilers)

- I mostly enjoyed it, but honestly I think that’s because I’d gone in with the attitude that the entire sequel trilogy is really well-financed fan fiction with some new characters I really like.

- But fuck you JJ for that stupid kiss. I saw it coming a mile away and was like, please don’t, please don’t, aw fuck me they did.

- Rey did a lot of cool stuff, and I LOVED that Leia was training her in the Force. Also Leia had a lightsaber!

- I’m very mad at how JJ walked up to Force-sensitive Finn like six times, and then did NOTHING with that.

- Justice for Rose Tico, who had like four fucking lines. I need to write a bunch of Rose-centric fanfic now.

- I liked Jannah a lot, but why TF are you introducing all these fucking new characters in the last movie and then giving us five seconds of story with them? Her story could have been so cool!

- I definitely approve of how they took out Hux. Thanks for not making him a hero, but a petty bitch who just wants to give Kyle Ron his comeuppance. And then just dies. Ha!

- I’m not sure how I feel about the Han thing. I had a feeling it was coming, and I didn’t hate it, but it mostly makes me mad about what they did to Han in TFA again.

- That’s actually how I feel about this whole Kylo/Ben redemption shit. Kudos to Driver, who really did do a good job, but basically EVERYONE had to die to service some basic white dude with anger issues in his road to redemption. Han, Leia, Luke, half the Resistance.... so dumb. Rey almost died multiple times because of him.

- The Leia stuff I think they did the best they could with. I cried when Chewie mourned her especially (although that kind of made me sad about both Carrie and Peter Mayhew, so bonus tears).

- If Han’s memory was talking to Ben I kind of wish he’d said something like “your mother and I are together now” or “your mother is gone, but she’ll always be with you.” The way it went, it kind of made Leia’s death to serve Ben, which...no. Leia had a life that was not just about serving others.

- Speaking of Chewie, I almost cursed aloud when it looked like they made Rey kill him. This is worse than dropping a moon on him.

- What was up with the FinnRey constant tease? It was like someone was writing a Finn/Rey fic and then Kylo wrote the last chapter. It’s wartime, folks. Tell people what they mean to you now.

- Not to mention the FinnPoe tease.

- Also, what the fuck was up with Poe’s characterization? We see some of his TFA characterization, then it’s like he gets haunted by the ghost of TLJ and turns into an asshole for a while. Then real Poe is back.

- Also, I will rant more about this elsewhere, but clearly the supposed Story Group at LF is just sitting around smoking weed instead of making sure the novels and the movies and the tie-ins all tell a consistent story. They jossed most of Poe’s backstory from Before the Awakening and several parts of Bloodline, and probably some other things too. (Of course, if anyone had read Before the Awakening they might not have given Poe a very similar lesson he had to learn in TLJ.)

- A spice runner? The fuck? Also, Poe can be his own character, you don’t have to turn him into Han Solo In the Mos Eisley Cantina, okay? Han had character development beyond that, btw. (Begins to draw up plans for Poe fixit fics...)

- So....Force Ghosts can....catch lightsabers and lift things with the Force now? The fuck? (Although thank you for at least partially redeeming TLJ Luke. Though his hair was atrocious.)

- Everyone in the Force has bad hair. Luke, Han...Leia probably has split ends now.

- I was worried about what would happen with Lando, but they did use him pretty well. Definitely liked the Lando tour to drum up support around the galaxy.

- FIVE SECONDS OF WEDGE!

- Too much Greg Grundberg. Sorry, I’m just not a fan.

- Where was Jess Pava? Karé Kun? You have a jazillion characters in the comics and tie-ins, why not use them? Of course, this means they didn’t die, soooooo.....

- I kind of had a similar quibble with the “strike me down and I win” business with Palpatine as I did with the Luke scene in ROTJ. So, they can’t strike you down because then the lightsider goes dark and you win, and they can’t just not fight because you win, so why are we even bothering to have this conversation?

- The “what’s your last name, Rey?” business was kind of forced, especially since there are so many people in the GFFA who only go by one name. Do people go around asking Chewie for his last name all the time?

- I did love that the new trio actually spent time together and went on adventures. And except for some of the arguing that seemed a bit forced (for a while I was afraid they were trying to give Poe and Rey a HanLeia on Hoth thing except without any of the affection), overall they were pretty great.

- They did go to some cool places. Although if that was Endor, it really got fucked up by the Death Star, huh? And do you have to kill a planet right after you visited there? Seriously?

- It takes some of the impact out of the destruction of a planet when you just off them constantly.

- I’m still deciding how I feel about Young Luke and Young Leia CGI business. They were a bit cartoony looking.

- The Jedi voices thing was cool. I liked the emphasis that Rey wasn’t alone.

- I really liked Rey’s staff lightsaber. Making it her own. Cool.

[gibberingcultist]

The Forgotten Age

We think we know the history of the Earth, but there are secrets that lie beyond our reckoning and truths that could undo our entire understanding of the universe. When renowned historian Alejandro Vela discovers one of these secrets, the ruins of an ancient and forgotten Aztec city, it sets into motion a plot that could unravel the very fabric of time.

Designers: Matthew Newman Artists: Andreas Adamek, Justin Adams, W. T. Arnold, Borja Pindado Arribas, Cristi Balanescu (cover), + 55 more! Players: 1-4 (best at 3 per BGG). But I would say Arkham Horror LCG is always best at 2 players. Playtime: 60-120 minutes per scenario. BGG Weight: 3.86 / 5 Mechanisms: Action Point Allowance System, Cooperative Play, Deck / Pool Building, Hand Management, Role Playing, Variable Player Powers

I am so far behind schedule on all these Arkham Horror LCG expansions and mythos pack reviews. The Dream-Eaters Cycle was recently released and already FFG has two more Arkham Horror LCG box expansions planned for the near future. The Innsmouth Conspiracy and potentially something called The War of the Outer Gods. We shall see if that second title is accurate or not in due time. Either way I can already see the money draining from my wallet like venom from a serpent’s fangs.

This will actually be my second time playing through The Forgotten Age expansion. The first time was with a party of three and we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. I found my first overall experience with TFA to be a incredibly frustrating. It was a grueling, torturous journey through the Mexican rain forest. We picked all the wrong supplies for all the wrong characters it seemed.

So after it was all said and done, I was pretty sure that I wasn’t ever going to play this expansion again. But with recently finishing The Circle Undone and not having all the mythos packs for the Dream-Eaters Cycle in my possession, I caved and returned to base camp to go on the expedition all over again. This time with a better idea of what will be needed. Characters with very high agility and well…. blankets. Why didn’t my first expedition group take basic bedding with them?! I’m surprised we even had boots on our feet, we were so unprepared for survival in the outdoors. Hopefully the second time through will be a little smoother.

We think we know the history of the Earth, but there are secrets that lie beyond our reckoning and truths that could undo our entire understanding of the universe. When renowned historian Alejandro Vela discovers one of these secrets, the ruins of an ancient and forgotten Aztec city, it sets into motion a plot that could unravel the very fabric of time.

So as I already mentioned, knowing how important agility is for your investigators; my girlfriend and I selected the two investigators from the The Forgotten Age campaign with the highest agility (feetsies). These two also seemed to have the highest potential for the most bonus actions in a round, which is always a good thing to have in this god-forsaken game. We chose Ursula Downs and Finn Edwards. We can’t help but think that Finn is really just allowing himself to be employed by Ursula to get himself away from some sort of shady business dealings back home. Or to make a hefty profit selling all of our equipment and provisions. Because why else wouldn’t we have blankets?! I swear that stuff is getting stolen from under us.

“I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking jungle!” The pit vipers aren’t too bad as long as you are as spry and nimble as Ursula and Finn. We were able to stay ahead of the sneks by constantly moving and clearing each location of clues as quickly as possible. The Boa was a bigger concern as he was hunting us through most the scenario. We don’t plan on killing anything with vengeance points. IF we can help it that is. Neither of us really had any weapons readied during this scenario anyway. Just the trench coat on our backs and the track shoes on our feet. We were bouncing all over the jungle like gummy bears hopped up on Ayahuasca juice (is that a thing?).

Once confronted by Ichtaca, Keeper of the Etzli, we really had no choice but to parlay with her. I’m not sure why Alejandro Vela is so opposed to working with the locals (at this point in the game). Sounds like he’s part of the White Savior Industrial Complex. We discovered the Etzli ruins, thanks to Ichtaca and left behind a wake of snakes (very much alive mind you) and watchful Guardians. Rushing exploration and clue gathering was the way to go for this scenario. Very thematic and fun.

In this first scenario, one gets introduced to the exploration deck. Where one could potentially lose his/her movement actions based on what cards are randomly drawn from a small shuffled deck. A deck consisting of a handful of treacheries mixed in with a variety of potentially discoverable locations. I guess I don’t mind the exploration deck mechanic. More times than not, we will unluckily draw all the treachery cards rather quickly. So we take the explore action early knowing full well that we are going to draw treachery cards. After all the treachery cards have been randomly drawn and discarded, THEN we can explore without fear or consequence. And that’s a great feeling.

Welp. So much for trying to maintain zero vengeance points. Yig’s fury went from 0 to 5 in just one scenario. We were rapidly overwhelmed with serpent humanoids and barely got out of the Etzli temple with the Relic of Ages in hand. It’s almost as if investigators were meant to die/lose this scenario. Ursula suffered a mental trauma after being hounded by Yig’s minions every step of the way. Her treachery card was what did her in though. She was unable to heed the Call of the Unknown after taking such a beating from the treachery filled exploration deck.

We both found this scenario too frustrating. The difficulty ramped up to 11 and we were still ill prepared for such things. None of our weapons were even drawn during this game, so once again we just had to keep moving. Trying our best to stay ahead of the wave of snake creatures. The only reason Finn was able to get out of the temple, after snagging the Relic of Ages, was because he was lucky enough to draw his I’m outta here! card right when he needed it most. There was no way he was going to make it past the 7 or 8 monsters in his linear path. This relic better be worth it.

….Aaand it’s gone. We lost the relic. Or Harlan did. Whoever the fuck he is. We chose to keep the relic safe by giving it to some rando in passing. Then we are shocked when the supposedly trusty vagabond up and leaves town. Great.

Threads of Fate was another rather frustrating scenario with a ungodly amount of enemies. The moment we were able to eliminate just one of the Haunting Nightgaunts terrorizing us, we would advance the agenda deck, reshuffle the discard pile, only to draw the very same Haunting Nightguant! GAH! These guys are tough as well, 4HP, running away from them is hard due to doubling the negative modifiers. Terrifying creatures.

It was neat that there were multiple Acts or multiple storylines (threads) to follow and investigate. We were only able to fully complete one of the three but at least the scenario still rewarded us for making an attempt at the others. In that you receive some bonus experience points for just getting past Act 1 of each deck. Alejandro Vela was rescued and now resides in one of our decks. I would have preferred to have the Relic but circumstances prevented us from making it so.

Wait, it was all a dream?! But I consumed actual gas in driving to this fever dream. I want my gas supply point back. The Boundary Beyond would be strike 3 for us. Another overly frustrating scenario with too many monsters and a damn near impossible end goal. We were suppose to lose weren’t we? Considering we only managed to get 3 out of the 6 locations explored correctly, and then wiped of clues before being overwhelmed by enemies. The added penalties for exploring was very rough and we felt it… hard. Like for instance, one location forced you to take a physical damage to take the explore action. Which inevitably resulted in drawing a treachery card, making the damage you received to draw the treachery even more painful. So consume another precious action, take another physical damage, and try your luck again!

The Harbinger of Valusia once again made his appearance known. A damn near impossible enemy to combat while also trying to achieve your necessary win condition. With Alert and Retaliate active even when exhausted, the Harbinger is going to just decimate anyone interested in doing any amount of damage to him. Especially book nerds like us. We were able to inflict 2 damage on him though before getting TKO’ed. 2 damage out of his 20hp! I feel like we should be further down on his health track. Ugh.

During set-up, players are instructed to set aside the Agenda 3 and Act 3 cards. I imagine this is to mislead the players about the intended length of the scenario? And well… it worked! During what we thought was our very last turn (before the agenda would advance), we both made some hail mary plays to try and acquire as many clues/locations as possible before ending the scenario. Only to find out, the scenario wasn’t over. By the time we realized we had more rounds at our disposal, we were either already eliminated or stuck in some impossible situation. I can see that designers are looking to subvert players expectations in whatever means possible, but this ended up just frustrating my girlfriend to the point that she considered quitting the campaign all together. She is calling AH-LCG an abusive relationship. Wondering why we keep going back to it.

The Story So Far

Wait. Why are we back in the jungle again?! Let’s recap. Going back a few scenarios, we uncovered information on a secret cabal, called the Brotherhood, who had interests in the Eztli relic (missing!). This Brotherhood also had a great deal of information on Alejandro’s previous expedition into the Mexican rain forest. According to Ichtaca, the Brotherhood is seeking a place called the Nexus of N’kai. OK fine. So without any other bit of information given by Ichtaca, we set off on another expedition back to the relic’s original location. For what I imagine is to seek out additional clues in regards to the power behind the relic.

During our road trip to Mexico City, Alejandro voices his opinion that the documented symbols adorning the relic is not of Mayan or Aztec heritage. Hmm…ok.

We putz around Mexico for a while, eating lots of fish tacos and drinking lots of margaritas (or so I imagine), but doing not much else. A week later, Ichtaca FINALLY decides it’s time perform some sort of cryptic incantation, alone in her room. An event that results in a dream like scenario which gives us some insight. Insight into (Tenochtitlan locations?) a cave that Ichtaca believes is the path that leads to the Nexus. She wants us to go with. Do we have time to grab some Pozole before we go? I think so.

Part 1

The first half of the Heart of the Elder’s mythos pack seems more of a catch-up scenario. Because we only received insight on 3 of the 6 paths/stone pillars outside the cave, we had to spend some days trying to decode the other 3. The stone pillars are essentially the lock tumblers allowing access to the cave maw.

I find it hard to believe Ichtaca had been running all over this jungle, secretly protecting the relic from outsiders, and never once discovered or learned about this cave. And if she did know of it, why did it take so long for her to explore it? And it she did explore it, why didn’t she know the 6 paths from the start?! Gah!

We did not like this part of the scenario. It felt like another throw away scenario that really wasn’t needed. It took two attempts at it to get the remaining 3 paths. Our first day/attempt resulted in no additional paths and Ursula ended up dying to the snake monsters. On the second day, a replay of the same scenario mind you, we had much better luck in not drawing snake monsters to hound us the entire time. So that helped us focus on clue gathering. The whole idea of playing the same scenario over and over again until you achieve some specific goal, rubs me the wrong way. Repetition in this regard is no fun. We also were annoyed that progressing the Act deck, which is normally a good thing to advance, significantly hampered our overall goal. So on the second day, knowing that it would be detriment to advance the Act deck, we advanced it only when we were ready to take on the additional headache.

Part II

After we gained access to the cave, we had a good spelunking time getting clues and discovering locations. It’s as if clue gathering is what we excel at. We lucked out on drawing a minimal amount of enemies during the mythos phase. Which helped us deal with everything else thrown at us. We felt like we had plenty of time to achieve the overall objective and we got a heck of a lot of XP from this scenario (both parts 1 and 2). Which makes the sting of part 1 a little less so. Part 2’s flavor text alludes to a Journey to the Center of the Earth type inner world, taking place below ours. Which is kind of neat.

The end of the scenario was a little confusing. Alejandro betrayed us?! He was working in unison or is commanding some sort of alien race to find and gain access to Yoth, cavern of the serpents? Why? I take it Alejandro is a member of the Brotherhood, which would explain why they had information on Alejandro’s expedition. It was information of the inside variety lols. My girlfriend thought the entire campaign was over after reading “It is your last human memory.” So we just died?! Not quite.

Alejandro was working with scientific, alien creatures? Hah! So we got mind-swapped with a couple Yithians and mentally transported to some unknown location beyond space and time that acts as a mass-information compiler. What are the aliens doing with our physical bodies right now? The other aliens didn’t seem to mind us wandering around their utopian society. That is until we fucked with their experiments. I suppose we would be the real aliens at this point. We had a lot of fun playing this scenario. This would be the first time, in publication order, that your investigator’s card gets swapped out for another scenario specific one. The next instance of this taking place during the prologue of The Circle Undone campaign. Both enjoyable experiences.

We slithered around, doing our best to hold on to our items with our noodly appendages. We did manage to perform all six of the necessary intellectual pursuits before mind-melding back into our original bodies. AKA we were a rightful pains in the ass. 9 xp from this scenario! So that’s very nice. This scenario required a lot of card-play. Mostly we used our cards just for the modifier icons to pass tests. As your Yithian character card allowed for the doubling of icons for one card per test. This coupled with our ever reducing max-hand size, made the end goal of holding 10 cards at once a rather tricky puzzle to figure out. We would not have achieved this goal had it not been for our new pen-pal, the Custodian, and the best room in the house, the Yithian Orrery.

What were we suppose to do with the Out of Body Experience treachery cards? I was never instructed in the setup but I feel like these should have been shuffled into our decks at some point. The backside of the Yithian investigator cards have Do you remember…? in the Deckbuilding Requirements section. So maybe it was a mistake in that these treachery cards should have been included in our decks to start. Not sure. We didn’t utilize them. This will probably be corrected in the Return to.

Now lets see what Alejandro and his alien buds were up to while we took a mental holiday.

I hear people play this scenario just to see how far down into the depths they can get before they are torn to shreds. We got to level 5 (the bare minimum) and immediately got the hell out of there! One could get a significant amount of XP on this scenario though. If everyone is well suited for fighting monsters and dealing with the ever growing pain that is the chaos bag. We on the other hand are NOT well suited for dealing with monsters. Besides running away from them. Finn Edwards recently purchased a Ornate Bow which has been pretty damn effective at eliminating a bunch of annoying or persistent enemies. Enemies with the Hunter trait mostly. Lets hope the next scenario is more about getting clues and not fighting a Boss of some kind.

The Depths of Yoth is an alright concept for a scenario but just like in a previous scenario (The Heart of the Elders Part 1) you essentially just play the same mini-game multiple times. At least with this scenario, with the reset between floors/levels, the locations are randomized. Your starting location and which locations are available will be slightly different between floors. We quickly learned which icon to look for in order to find the Steps of Yoth (how to progress). And I’m so confused on what’s going on in the over-arching story that we don’t even care anymore. Both Ichtaca and Alejandro have turned on us and want the Relic of Ages for different reasons. Ichtaca, I believe wants to awaken Yoth for some terrible reason. Hopefully it will all make more sense after the next scenario.

We finished! …thank God/Yig. We did get an above-average ending. Resolution 1 if that does anything for you. We lost the original Relic of Ages so we didn’t get the best ending but we refused the tempting offers from both Ichtaca and Alejandro Vela and went about mending the tear in the fabric of time…ourselves somehow. Luckily for us, The Relic of Ages was rediscovered in A Pocket of Time which I suppose makes sense that we traveled through time and found a earlier/later version of the one we lost. I’m always impressed with the final scenarios of each of the major campaigns. This one was no different. The story seemed to come together. Both Ichtaca (Yig worshiper) and Alejandro (Yithian in disguise) had ulterior motives which is understandable. I liked that we could have sided with either of them to change the world as we know it forever.

We didn’t kill a single enemy this scenario. Besides those EZ-PZ cultists. So we were once again dogged by a myriad of serpent & elite enemies. We were use to though after the sixth or seventh scenario where that happened this campaign. Finn Edwards handled running away from 5 different monster enemies himself, each round for two or three rounds. One free evade, three normal evade actions, and a Leo De Luca evade action. While Ursula Downs worked vigorously at exploring and clearing clues from as many shattered locations as possible. Taking damage and horror when necessary. It worked. I can’t wait to go back to playing some Guardian and Survivor class characters. Or really anyone with dynamite

We don’t officially get to play the bonus, secret mission because we lost the Relic of Ages from our timeline but we will play it anyway just to see what it’s like. Going on the assumption that we didn’t hand a complete stranger one of the most powerful objects in the known universe. So we will play that next and I will report on it here.

Man, fuck this game. We got devoured by Yig pretty quickly in our attempt to undo our past mistakes. Turn Back Time has a cool concept but this scenario is not designed with pacifists like us in mind. It’s tough! Arm yourself to the teeth before entering the Eztli Ruins again! We didn’t REALLY deserve to unlock this scenario and we are going to continue acting like this scenario never happened. Our own form of time travel.

Now that we are done with this campaign we will play a Return To… or start The Dream-Eaters cycle and hope that our last Mythos pack gets delivered very soon.

In Summary

Of all the Arkham Horror campaigns that I’ve played, The Forgotten Age is and will remain my least favorite. With that said I was impressed by how many of the scenarios ended up having a decently high personal rating. This tells me that the scenarios themselves aren’t bad but the over-arching story and mechanisms introduced are what leaves a foul malignancy festering in my mind when contemplating The Forgotten Age. Mainly due to the frustrations with the exploration deck, the supply point system (never having what you need), and having to suffer the ridiculous amount of serpent creatures all looking to settle their poisonous fangs into your meaty neck. The Harbinger of Valusia is still out there, slithering around the jungle with a whopping 18 HP! Good luck with that Mexico.

Final Score (Avg)

[loopy777]

A larger question that needs two asks to cover. One of the biggest criticisms against the star wars sequel trilogy, is that all the OT main characters died complete failures after having all their work undone. Luke was the shining hope for new jedi, but had his academy killed, gave up, and essentially just became a bitter Yoda, then after returning to the man he used to be, he dies. Han saw his son become evil, abandoned his wife and became a smuggler again, and died failing to redeem him.

Leia worked so, so hard to make the new republic happen, only for it to die ridiculously easy. Essentially, there's an argument to be made that all their work was undone and they all died miserable failures. What's your thoughts on the subject?

Well, my take on this comes my philosophy on sequels in general. Unless it’s something with enough entries to really play with things, sequels need to maintain or escalate the story stakes. James Bond and Marvel movies, for example, can sometimes go big and sometimes go smaller scale, because they’re essentially episodes in a television series or chapters in a massive book.

Star Wars, on the other hand, is all epic all the time. Its movies are always events- and when they aren’t, the titles of the movies themselves tell us that they’re small skippable little things. Episodes 1-6 are about the greatest threat ever to the galaxy and Jedi; a sequel trilogy can’t follow that with a story about mopping up and just doing the stuff implied by the ending of Episode 6. But Episode 6 was meant to be the finale to the saga, so there’s no remaining threats or plots on the same level as Palpatine, the Empire, and the Sith.

I thought the sequels, at least TFA and TLJ, had an interesting way around that by being about the concept of sequels themselves. In order to create the proper stakes, the heroes were indeed turned into failures- and the heroes are directly reacting to that! Leia reacts by digging in trying to keep fighting. Han reacts by going back to just surviving. Luke reacts by giving up and trying to die. They hate the sequels turning them into failures as much as the audience.

And then TFA brings them back into things by having them become aware of the new heroes and the cycle of stories. What so many people took as Han’s moments of “Wow, I think Rey might be my daughter,” I took as “Huh, another wide-eyed prodigy from a desert planet who’s dragging me into an epic adventure.” I took Luke’s reaction to Rey offering him the lightsaber as him realizing that the story is starting over again and trying to draw him back in. Even Kylo Ren is actively trying to fit into the Darth Vader role and is frustrated that he’s just a cheap copy.

(I could have done without the repetition being so explicit with the return of X-Wings, TIE Fighters, a jungle base for the Rebels, another desert planet, Bigger Death Star, etc. The themes could have been there with new visuals that merely homage the old stuff. But I think the choice to recycle so much was a direct ploy to ease people back into Star Wars after the reactions to the prequels, so hoping for a lot of new stuff in TFA was probably always futile.)

And then TLJ directly follows this up by making the concept of a repeating story one of the major themes, explicitly! I considered it solid validation of my interpretation of TFA! (Now I honestly have no idea what was intended with TFA, because I think Rise Of Skywalker is completely disconnected from it. If ROS indeed represents the original intentions of J.J. Abrams, then TFA must have been heavily pulled off track, to its benefit, by Lawrence Kasdan.)

Han’s death, to me, was a mix of triumph and failure. On the one hand, he finds the strength to give himself over to The Story, to let go of survival and offer everything up for the chance to save his son. I think he knows that it’s not going to work, but he understands that it’s a step that has to be taken, and so he makes the attempt and lets his life be claimed.

This is the problem facing the young cast in TLJ. They trust too much in The Story, in heroes and last stands and destiny and redemption and sacrifice and a righteous cause. Luke, on the other hand, sees how all of that accomplishes nothing in the long run; he sees The Story at work and knows that a Happy Ending depends on where the storyteller stops, that continuance inevitably brings back the darkness. He realizes that the storyline of the prequels was forced on him in a repeat, despite his victory in Episode 6, and wants no part in an endless cycle of dumb movies about space wizards killing people.

It’s Leia who seems, in TLJ, to see the possibility for a path of balance. She’s still part of The Story, still values the things that the younger generation does, but she also sees that those things won’t bring victory by themselves. They need to be smart about how they participate in The Story. Strategic with when they invoke The Story and when they should shy away from it. The failures of the younger cast eventually teach them this, as well. Rey uses the Millennium Falcon to bait the First Order at the end of the movie, pulling TIE Fighters into a reenactment of Return Of The Jedi to save her friends, but she no longer thinks she can force the redemption of Vader onto Kylo. Poe and Finn learn lessons about how the true value of Heroic Stands isn’t taking out bad guys, but changing the direction of The Story.

And Luke finds the path of balance as well, finding that The Story can be turned against the darkness. Where Finn and Poe learn when not to invoke the Heroic Stand, he rediscovers the moment when both a Hero and a Last Stand is the greatest weapon to employ against the enemy, and so steps back into his role in a way that will let the younger generation learn and continue to grow. That he does so in the single greatest feat of the Force in the entire saga makes it especially triumphant.

Kylo Ren, meanwhile, has likewise become frustrated with the nature of sequels, but instead of finding a balance between new and old, he casts away everything old (”Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. It's the only way to become who you were meant to be.“) and seeks only something new- and in doing so is defeated by the protagonists who have weaponized The Story against him. Because a franchise like Star Wars can’t go fully New as there’s too much valuable IP to mine.

This is why I had such high hopes for ROS. Luke had already turned the tide of The Story, and the next cast had been set up to find an Ending that would prevent The Story from happening again. Literally all the next movie had to do was deliver on what was already set up with some plot mechanics.

And that’s why Rise Of Skywalker is so bad, to me. After two sequels dealing, on a meta level, with the concept of sequels themselves, ROS just copies tropes from the classic trilogy without adding anything, without finding new meaning in anything. Rey learns that her father is Darth Vader (metaphorically), and struggles with the same themes Luke did, eventually coming to the same conclusions. She confronts Palpatine just like Luke did, with the aid of a darksider she helped pull back to the light, and makes the conflict into just another clash of Jedi vs Sith, doing nothing to guarantee that another sequel down the line won’t bring that enemy back for a nostalgia cash-in.

Even Leia becomes a failure, throwing a Redemption trope at her son with no meaning behind it, turning him away from the darkness but without any insight into how he became Anakin Skywalker Redux, how she and Han and Luke had previously failed. She did nothing to prevent it from happening again in another generation; she just solved this one problem and then died, tidying up her subplot but having no lasting impact.

All of this confirms that Han, Luke, and Leia are merely failures, as you describe, as ROS shows that they’ve left nothing behind that will continue. Where TLJ introduced the idea that they had to fail in order to gain greater understanding of The Story, so that they could teach its mastery to the next set of protagonists and end things with merely one Sequel Trilogy,

And thus ROS confirms that failure is inevitable; Rey, Finn, and Poe will fail again the next time Disney needs to exploit nostalgia, because they never mastered The Story. The full cast tried to confront the nature of Sequels, saw the conundrum that they can have no impact while Disney sees more money to be made from Star Wars...

And they all give up, surrendering to cliche. Han, Luke, and Leia repeat their acts from previous movies, or the acts of their predecessors from the prequels, and cash their checks and walk away. I don’t mean the actors; I truly mean that ROS turns Han, Luke, and Leia into Space Opera jobbers.

So yes, they all died as miserable failures.

But, dangit, until ROS, I thought there was going to be a greater, beautiful point to it.

And there’s no fixing it now. This isn’t a story that can be retconned or ignored. ROS’s abandonment of the themes of the previous two sequels stands as a glaring Statement Of Intent from Disney: there is no meaning in these movies, just the exploitation of a thing we once loved.

And that’s going to take a lot come back from.

[eirenare]

My TROS experience and thoughts (the good, the bad, a bit of speculation, an “old” WIP drawing, and... hopes)

Putting this under a “read more” because, well... this post is a huge walking spoiler

This morning I woke up really, really early to re-watch TLJ with my brother and do stuff before the hour of watching TROS arrived—I remember almost crying watching TLJ, already almost crying listening to that damn TROS song on Fortnite as my brother played it for a while

I was nervous all day long, honestly. I accidentally stumbled the other day into a hashtag on Twitter called “BenSoloDeservedBetter”, and I was already on edge. A lot. Not to mention that I accidentally saw half a comment somewhere on Twitter saying something that had made me doubt

So, yeah, I basically spent all day trying to give myself hope and reassurance while deeply having ONE FEAR. That was: Ben not surviving

You see, I love with every inch of my being Reylo, but—Ben is my favorite character of all Star Wars. Like, I can’t help it, I have a super soft spot for him

I had, like, super high hopes for TROS, and yeah, I liked the movie... or well, most of it (and I got some things right to my delight and surprise, one of them being the throne with Dark Rey sitting in it, but more on that stuff later)

There were funny moments I enjoyed (Babu Frik, Finn joking about Poe’s past as spice runner, C3PO being C3PO...), the scary/terrorific moments were amazing (gods I love Palpatine’s new appearence, all the Sith and eerie stuff, the whispers, the machinery...), the action/fight scenes were cool overall (Rey and Ben fighting together against their enemies after seeing each other and doing the lightsaber trick was amazing, for example, also the jumps, and I loved seeing all the spaceships together), the imagery was sometimes amazing too (Palpatine sending that enormous lighting to the sky, for example) and the emotional stuff weirdly enough didn’t make me cry but had my heart pounding (Leia’s passing, Han and Ben’s parallel scene, Rey and Ben’s healing scene and their last scene...), not to mention I was gripping tightly my bag and jacket to my lap throughout most of the movie, BUT

B  U  T

The fact that Ben didn’t make it out alive left me very, VERY bitter

I have to say, again, that weirdly enough I just... didn’t cry, even when Rey died, not even when Ben died, and he’s my favorite. Most of the times it happens, that my brain’s kind of... messy, when it comes to emotions (it seems that, most of the time, my brain just goes from “step: something happens” to “step: body/voice reaction” skipping “step: feel” in the middle—... although that usually doesn’t happen if the emotions are negative, which sucks specially if you already feel like you yourself are a mess—), so... yeah

It kind of... Well, the tears didn’t start falling until I was watching the credits with my brother (bless his soul for listening to my rambling, and for granting me multiple hugs, for calling my dear “Ben” instead of “Kylo” now, and overall being so patient with me—I didn’t miss the fact that he was looking at my reactions at some points, like when the Reylo kiss, and then Ben dying, because he knows how much I love them), when it registered that it was really the end, and that yes, Ben was... dead. I kept crying as we watched the credits, and then outside of the theater a bit again, and then at home, and I’m now crying as I write this

Look, I loved the Reylo moments we got even though I wanted some more. And although (as I explained above) I was “numb” almost all the time and even while watching the kiss, I enjoyed it and I could “feel” that I was happy and excited about it because my chest was pounding like crazy and my lips were doing that kind of quivering when you can’t quite contain yourself and you’re emotional

(... Yes, living with this brain of mine is a mess, and I don’t even know if this has always been like this or started at some point, because my memory’s also a good mess—I hate this so much)

But then—then I saw Ben fall backwards and start to disappear, and I went from glee and triumph to “oh no” (also: hello there pit my old friend)

I mean... They just went and killed a character that was trying to do good after a life of strife with himself and what he did and did not do, a character that was just starting to go to the light (to see the light)—a character that’s been all his life marked by the abuse he’s been suffering ever since he was in the kriffing womb, therefore not even allowing him to really live. They basically killed... a symbol of hope

It feels sad and discouraging for me, even though what he did was noble

It just stings. And the fact that Rey didn’t see Ben at the end alongside Leia and Luke, when she adopts the surname “Skywalker”? ... Why. They could’ve added him, but no. Why. And I have to say, while I like a lot “Rey Nobody”, I also like the contrast between her and Palpatine, the subversion of dark and light, that even though darkness runs in her veins, she would still choose the light.

(Also, the totally not serious question my brother and I joke about, though: who the fuck decided to have a crazy night with Mr. Raisin Ass and to give him an “heir”?)

To soothe myself, I like to think that since Ben “vanished” into the Force and became one with it, and that since Rey’s kind of “a host” of the Force (?), he’s now always with her and they can feel each other. I like to think that, sometimes, they’ll see each other, be able to be together if only for brief moments—maybe at night, sleeping, Rey would feel Ben wrapped around her (my feels asdbfkffnggjglg)

(You can bet your ass that I’m abso-kriffing-lutely going to write something about this because I NEED IT BADLY)

Another thing that soothes me is that Ben passed away with the biggest, most beautiful smile on his face, and even though I hate that he died, I’m glad he was able to feel that kind of happiness with Rey and that he was able to join the light side in the end—now, yeah, give me Force Ghost Ben at some point in the future at least,  p l e a s e

EDIT (addition of paragraph) — Also: Ben’s face when he looks at Rey every damn time, Ben running to Rey’s rescue with only a kriffing blaster, again the fight they had and when Rey sent him the lightsaber, and then lifting himself up from the pit with all his kriffing injuries and the pain he must have been enduring to then give up his life to save the love of his life—iconic, badass, a true dork in love whom I adore, the kriffing boss. But you know what I missed A LOT, that I realized I didn’t remember it being in the movie after watching it?? The “I DO”. I don’t think I’ve heard its equivalent in Spanish, and that has me pretty much confused and bitter. Like, wtf? If they let that out:  w h y ?

Kathleen Kennedy pretty much hinted that maybe we’ll see “more Skywalkers” in the future, so, yeah *looks sideways at Rey and her ghost husband* Praying that they’d be in that “Project Luminous” of 2020, or later, but just... be somewhere else more

Something that bothers me, though—is there really a balance in the Force, after TROS? Rey’s lineage may be of dark and she may have taken the path of the light, but does that mean the Force is balanced now, or maybe not...? *scratches head* I don’t know, I need a re-watch and to have some serious thinking of this

As I write this post, I’m trembling almost to a shaking point and my chest is hurting. In all honesty, as much as I love Reylo... If I had to choose between Reylo happening or Ben living, I’d choose Ben living

... Now, it’s gonna hurt so much more reading “The Rise of Kylo Ren”. Oh, dear

If we set aside Ben’s passing, though, regarding how I saw the movie, I’d say that as much as I enjoyed it overall, it kind of felt like... it lacked things. Explanations and a bit more of worldbuilding, for example? More Knights of Ren stuff (although luckily we’re having them in “The Rise of Kylo Ren” alongside their leader, Mr. Hottie McHotHot aka Ren? Maz explaining how she got the Legacy lightsaber? TROS kind of feels, like... a little incomplete to me. I don’t know if to others it feels that way, but it kinda feels like that for me and my brother

Still I’m aware that, well, it HAS to be difficult to end such a story, and that it can’t possibly be easier to fit a lot in a 2h33 movie, you know? It seems... very complicated, and the stakes were high. So yeah, I understand that (while what I don’t take well at all, I don’t think I’ll ever do, is Ben’s death—it was pointless, and the fact that Rey didn’t show too much feeling about it... it feels weird). And well, the junior and non-junior novelizations will come out in March, so I like to think that we’ll get more details in them (like with the TFA and TLJ novelizations)

... And I really, really need a good rewatch of TROS because I’m forgetting a lot of stuff probably. So yeah, next Thursday if all goes well, I should have a ticket to go and watch it again, except this time in English with Spanish subtitles

A funny thing that happened at the theater, by the way, was that a woman hissed in excitement a pair of rows before us “I KNEW IT” when Rey was revealed to be a Palpatine

Also: I really, really hope that Rey doesn’t stay in Tatooine with how much she loves greenery landscape. I hope she went anywhere else that’s green and lush and was able to lead a nice life, to actually live the life Ben granted her, whatever path she would choose to take—and that Ben’s ghost would kind of like, be around her, you know?

Now, there are some things that made me laugh inside, and that is... that I got some stuff right. An example of that is the fact that Rey mentioned seeing herself sitting on that throne, something that happens in my “Rey of Jakku” fic and of which I was doing a WIP the last days of november (look, that happening was the thing least probable in my mind so... lol):

Also the cannon distroying Kijimi, too, and it seems that about the nature of Rey and Ben’s bond too. Also, when C3PO started explaining about the Pasaana festivity it kind of reminded me of how he started explaining the marriage customs in my “arranged marriage in Pasaana” AU. And I don’t remember now because my head’s pretty much a mess and specially right now (and as I said I really need a re-watch), but I think I recognized other things too

TROS wasn’t what I expected, and on the scales it has both its good and its not-so-good things (being the worst of them, for me, Ben’s death—of which I’m trying to cope by thinking what I said of him being literally with Rey now, maybe sometimes being able to see each other and interact), so... it’s a weird mix of me liking the movie while also not enjoying it nearly as much as I wanted to (as I think I should’ve)

Even though I’m super bitter about Ben, however, thank you to all of the team for working hard on the movie—doing the last piece of the Skywalker saga movies sounds everything but easy

Now, looking forward to the future...

I see myself continuing to write and draw Reylo, honestly. Ben’s death has kind of spurred me further to do stuff, so yeah—gonna keep up with my alternate TROS Reylo fic (“Rey of Jakku”), and I’m pumped to attempt writing other stuff, like... trying to write regarding Force Ghost Ben interacting with Rey, or working on AUs (*looks sideways at the “arranged marriage in Pasaana” AU, “Ice-skating” AU and the “padawan Ben meets mechanic Rey in Batuu” AU)

Will also be looking forward with utmost interest at “The Rise of Kylo Ren”, and to see what the merchandising team and the books and comics have to show in 2020—which means I’ll be dying inside all over again when I see Ben and Rey’s last scene, but well *shrugs* The novels are specially interesting to me. I mean, getting to read how these two felt about each other throughout TROS, and specially at the end? Written by Rae Carson? YES PLEASE

Also, if “Project Luminous” happened to have Rey (and even better yet: Force Ghost Ben appearing), I’d be even more interested in it—a lot more

The experience with TROS was a mix of good and not-so-good things, coupled with the One Fear I had regarding Ben (my baby... oh, how that kriffing stings), but still, it wasn’t that bad of an experience in my case

So, yeah... I think I’ll write some more thoughts later, tomorrow or another day when my head’s clearer (probably will write more when I re-watch), but so far, these are my thoughts on TROS

Rest in peace, darling, beloved Ben... </3 T_T

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Rate that character! (Rescue bots edition)

Disclaimer:Since my post got more than 10 likes, ill be doing a review on the bots of rescue bots! Since theres a 10 picture limit, ill be doing JUST the bots in this post. With that out of the way, lets go!

Heatwave!

Heatwave, leader of the autobots. Big red hot boy, ready to kick ass, take names, and love babies. Snarky boy who is constantly ready to throw hands at any second and will defend his family. He takes no shit, neither will his team. Cares but will only admit it via threats. Secretly very stressed.

10/10 good boy that will fuck you up with no hesitation. The kind your parents don't want you to be with, but learn to love, given time. Great in berth.

Boulder!

Engineer of the group. Smart, strong boy that likes to draw. Not to be confused with tfa Bulkhead, as this one was generally smart, while tfa Bulkhead was more proficient in groundbridge building. Likes birds, flowers, drawing, most human things. Fan of nerdy jokes and supporting his friends. Honest boy

9/10. The pedes fuck me up everytime, its like hes earing Cybertroinian crocs. Petty, but my rating system. Overall you wanna bring this one home to the folks.

Chase!

Everyones favorite cop bot. Looks like hes all about beating up bad dudes, but is such a goober. Jokes go over his helm, but he tries to be funny. Tries so hard to do good, take things too seriously. Has good intentions, follows his spark. Is so the best study buddy you can ask for. Not a creative mech, but it doesn't stop him from trying. Is so underappreciated. Most likely makes odd purchases online.

10/10. Has such good lines, and is underestimated in his kindness for others. Also bot you wanna take home to the folks.

Blades!

Possibly everyones favorite character. Ironically hates flying, but does it for the team. Can't handle stress easily, but does shit for everyone else's sake. Makes most (if not all) the media references in the series. Would rather eat ice cream and watch cupcake hoarders than go on rescues. Has self esteem issues, needs constant validation. Can be selfish, but he learns from his mistakes.

9.5/10. I love him, but the selfish moments knocks him down a pinch. Calm down baby, world isnt ending! Bring him home to your parents after hes had a few hours to panic.

Optimus Prime!

Wiser than his TFA & TFP version, this Optimus is essentially the yoda of the group. Knows best, is such a good support and role model. Has faith in his boys. Knows what hes doing, at least 98% of the time. Humble as shit. Sees the glass as half full.

9/10. Crazy hot in this version? But him kiiinda choosing to ignore Heatwave sometimes makes him come off as kinda dick ish. Kinda. If your folks are cool with you dating a silver fox, definitely bring this one home.

Blurr!

Speedster if the group. Like Smokescreen in TFP, you wanna punch him in the face first. Pretty boy that comes at you way too fast, immediate asshole impression. Fucks up a lot. Acts before thinking. Ultimately cares. Kinda fuckboy-ish, but hes sweet at some other moments. Has untapped potential. You learn to like him, even if he's kinda dense. Also a unique look for a long standing character.

9/10. Blurr's spark is in a good place, and he has had GREAT character development, but im a bit tfa Blurr biased. At least this one didn't die. Bring home to your parents if you want, but it'll take a LONG time for him to cut his bullshit. But he'll make himself worth it. Kinda selfish in some moments.

Salvage!

Big chonk. Big, burly, boy with a southern tongue. Wants to help. Will help fix stuff around your house if you call him over. Clever boy, hates throwing things away. Likes to scavenge for nicknacks. Easy to buy for. Sometimes his inventions go haywal, but he gets all the points for trying. Probably collects odd things.

10/10. Cute chunkies with accents kill me. Plus he tries so hard for his friends. Even for Blurr, who was gonna leave him to fucking die.

Quickshadow!

Spy fem! Is gorgeous. Will insult your face in the slyest way possible, then punch it after. Calm, cool, james bond in training. Clever british. Thinks she knows best, but needs support. Never thinks of a back up plan. Didn't get enough love as she should've. Is cool and knows it

9/10. Id do 10/10 if i got to know her a bit more. Take her home to the folks, just be weary. She might boast about herself, under the impression shes being factual. Be supportive, and she'll return the favor.

Servo!

Goodest boy. Beep beep beep. Is handy, eager to help. Cutest boy on the team. Multitool all wrapped in a good boy bundle. Give him pets and love him. Will love you forever. Pls dont scold him.

10/10. Goodest boy. Robo dogs so pure

Hightide!

Commander of the seas!(and my heart). Old, irish (or scottish. Or maybe im stupid) bastard. Is great with kids, probably has some of his own. Gives shit when hes trying to make you better. Will tease you. Is down to party, often doesnt think of his affects on others. Firm handed. Will accidentally make you feel like shit, but is quick to try again in his mistakes. Sexy as hell.

10/10. Im weak for older, burly bots who talk to me like he would. Wish he had more attention.

[ms-camucia]

"That lightsaber. It belongs to me." Why Maz Kanata Knows Some Shit Regarding Ben Solo

It’s why her eyes are so big. They’re full of secrets.

So, I haven't written any meta since... Well, roughly 2004, and it wasn't called 'meta' back then on 'ol Leaky Cauldron, it was just fan theories. So I apologize if I'm rusty, and if someone has postulated on this previously.

Basically, I have two theories I want to lay out here:

-Ben Solo was the one to find the Skywalker lightsaber -Rather than keep it, he entrusted it, along with some other possessions, with Maz Kanata

Oh Maz, you hoarder.

Timeline wise, this is a little sketchy, especially since we don't have too much canon to work from. We know that, in 28 ABY (Bloodline), it had been a little while since Leia had heard from Luke or Ben, but she didn't seem too concerned, so presumably it hasn’t been overly-long. By the time we see Kylo Ren in TFA, he's obviously been in the First Order for a bit, but for fewer than 6 years, since TFA is in 34 ABY.

My thought is that Ben found the lightsaber at some undefinable point - it may not even be important when - just that he found it, and kept it safe. He could have found it back in the Jedi school days, keeping it hidden, or he could have found it post-Luke's Jedi School Fiasco, but pre-Snoke.

Either way, Ben didn’t immediately go to Snoke after the Luke Incident. 

“When I get out of here, I’m going straight to the creepy man who’s been in my head since I was an infant!” said no one ever.

Just logistically, unless Snoke was there in the goddamn First Order minivan, ready to pick up Ben after Jedi School was left in a burning ruin, there's some time between the massacre and Ben Solo becoming Kylo Ren. In a period I'm roughly defining as "The Jedi Killer," since this follows early concept art of a Kylo-like figure who hunted down any artifacts having to do with the Jedi, Ben Solo has some time that's completely unaccounted for. 

“There’s some slight boxing around the edges, but it’ll sell as new.”

That's where Maz, and the "Good Story For Another Time" comes in.

So, let's try to establish that unaccounted for time.

Ben Solo, in his eyes, just had his uncle try to murder him. Something goes down, such that six students die, and six go with him. These kids - yes, he’s 23 and presumably just murdered some people, but if Luke called him a “frightened boy,” he’s a kid - are scared, confused, and looking for answers. But let's say they don't just hightail it to the First Order and find Snoke, because that would be ridiculous, no matter how much Snoke has been in Ben's head - the First Order is something that only exists in whispers by 28 ABY, and Snoke wasn’t there from the beginning. 

These kids want answers about the Force that they couldn't find with Luke - so they start looking. I'm already imagining some dark, Scooby-Doo/Indiana Jones mashup of the pre-Knights of Ren tracking down ancient Jedi and Sith temples and artifacts. They're successful - they find plenty of stuff, but very few answers.

Enter Maz Kanata.

This is the face of a woman who is already so done with this shit.

Maz has been established as someone with ties to Han, Chewie, and even Leia - in Forces of Destiny, it’s revealed that she's the one who gave Leia the Ubese disguise she uses in ROTJ. I think it's safe to say Maz Kanata is an Organa-Solo family friend, and most definitely someone a young Ben Solo would have met. As said by the woman herself, she knows the Force, and has clearly been around for a while. She's probably one of the first people Ben thinks to go to for help (especially if he's trying to delay the inevitable Snoke In The Head).

So Ben, and possibly the other students, go there, and she probably wheedles the entire Luke story out of a still-shellshocked Ben. Who knows - maybe he even confesses to her something about Snoke, knowing that she’s old enough to have a clue what’s going on with that guy (maybe she even sends him to Snoke, if he’s simply known as some “wise” Force-user. That’s a grim thought). Either way, Ben Solo is a man possessed at this point (possibly literally), and is just generally freaked out and on the run. Maz is old. She’s seen these eyes before.

And she’ll see them again.

(sidenote here - one can lift Finn’s dialogue with Rey at the end of this scene, and it would play out beautifully in IX with Ben/Rey if/when he leaves the First Order, and presumably tries to bail like his dad did in ANH. Maybe he even saves them in the Falcon. Poetry, rhyming, etc.)

This would be some Grade A ceramics right here.

ANYWAY, I get ahead of myself. So, we have:

Freaked out Ben Solo

Hoarding Jedi/Sith artifacts

Goes to Maz Kanata for answers

Spills his guts about absolutely everything

Maz agrees to keep his secrets - and his shit - before he runs

Like I theorized above, I think Maz is the last stop before Snoke. Maybe she tries to stop him, tells him to go home, but sees that this is the path he has to follow for right now. Ben would want to leave behind anything that could be seen as Jedi-ish before he goes to Snoke, and that would obviously include the Skywalker lightsaber, and anything else he had at this point. So he drops his Jedi stuff off with Maz.

Screenshot courtesy of me and Photoshop’s Highlights/Shadows.

I think what we’re seeing here is what was ditched. The lightsaber, maybe some Padawan clothes, what looks like a book or journal (see my fanfiction for my thoughts on Ben and writing things down), and some trinkets and bundles. Who knows if Ben told her where he was going, or if she already knew - either way, he’s on his way to become Kylo Ren. Someone will need to bring him back. Like the Lady of the Lake parallel that she is (someone else has made this connection, right?) Maz knew that, eventually, the right time and person would come for the saber, and maybe bring back Ben Solo - and thus enters Rey. 

“Ben.”

Maz basically has this girl’s number from the get-go - she immediately realizes her importance, tries to get her to leave her past behind by telling her what Rey herself wouldn’t believe until it came from Kylo/Ben, and attmepts to set her off on her hero’s journey. Of course, whether knowingly or not, what Maz actually does here is literally send her into Kylo/Ben’s arms.

Kylo shot first in the Great Thigh Grab war.

My final point I have to make here concerns the Starkiller lightsaber fight. Kylo has no reason to be able to immediately recognize the Skywalker lightsaber - it was last seen in canon attached to Luke’s severed hand, tumbling through Bespin’s ventilation system. Unless Luke spent his years as a teacher doing loving, technical drawings of the lightsaber (I mean, that’s what I do as an art teacher), there’s no reason for Ben to know it on sight unless he’s seen it before - and he knows that thing in a goddamn heartbeat.

But we all know what happens after this. Kylo goes from a completely unhinged madman possessed to making this face at the lightsaber in Rey’s hands.

Good lord, just compare this face to either of the ones above it. Boy is besotted.

And thus ends Kylo Ren’s focus on the lightsaber. To him, after this moment, the saber is Rey’s. 

He even puts it back in her damn hand.

Kylo/Ben doesn’t fight her for it again until TLJ, and even then, it’s less about the lightsaber and more about the million other things going on between the two of them in that moment. But that’s a good story for another time.

...And I’ve let what was originally a series of drunken screencaps I made at some point turn into an entirely-too-long meta. The last point I want to make is even a bit more meta - with the death of Carrie Fisher, we have lost our maternal figure in this trilogy. If JJ Abrams is a smart man, he is probably thanking his lucky stars that he set up Maz the way he did here, since someone will need to take up the position of the wise, older woman that helps bring everything back together.

If you’ve read this whole thing, congratulations. Sorry I went off on a bit of a rant, but this has been in the back of my mind for a while. Let me know if I’m completely off-base here.