#i need to talk about s9 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

whateverisbeautiful · 11 months ago

Text

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#7: How'd I Get So Lucky Finding You (S9E01)

Imagine feeling lucky in a fallen world. 🥹 Losing so much and still feeling like you won because you found the ultimate love of your life. 😭 It’s beautiful and powerful that Richonne’s love is so strong that it has them feeling fortunate even after enduring a series of unfortunate events. And in this stunning scene, we get to see so much of why Rick and Michonne have an everlasting love. This scene is an absolutely heartwarming delight and it features my favorite thing Rick has ever said to Michonne in TWD 😍...

I will forever love the state of Richonne’s relationship in s9. They finally had time to breathe and be a family with Judith, and I loved every moment they got to relish in being together.

I always knew Rick and Michonne wouldn't be the type of couple who were only compatible in fight and survival mode - they're equally compatible in just living and being mode.

So I appreciate that this scene takes its time to just be as the two cuddle up and showcase yet again why they work so perfectly with each other. They truly belong together and fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. 🥰

Also, I will always like that this scene of Richonne snuggled up in bed takes place in the Sanctuary of all places. Just more proof that nothing, not even the oppressive reign of Negan, was going to break Richonne because now Rick and Michonne are up in that batty man's crib fully immersed in their sweet Richonne bubble. 🤗

They just feel so married with Rick washing up and then getting in bed with Michonne as the two just instinctively get wrapped up in each other. And the way Rick kisses her forehead. 🥹 It’s always so clear that they feel the most safe to completely decompress and let their guard down with each other and are so precious to each other.

And I’m just giddy every time I hear Michonne adorably and playfully call Rick “the famous Rick Grimes” with that shoulder shimmy while resting on his chest. Perfection. 👌🏽

I love their teasing banter and how she’s addressing the way Rick's a legend to the people. As he should be. And Rick’s playful, "don’t you start too" response to hearing her say that is just great. 😊

It’s adorable that she plays with his beard while noting that the reverence people have for him is sweet. She gets it. She says, “just don’t let it get to your head” and Richonne tones for the win once again in this scene. 😍

And again the two bring up Maggie and how they feel for her since she has to deal with losing that Hilltop kid, which is particularly sad too because R&M lost their own teenage son just about a year and a half ago.

Rick and Michonne then have this moment where they both just take a synchronized deep breath and these two seriously always feel like one, especially in the way they breathe in this moment.

I like how Rick seems tired as he closes his eyes, but then Michonne says his name, and he can always be awake and alert for her when they need to talk.

I really like too how Michonne and Rick both get honest about the fact that they wonder if they should have just killed Negan. To which I was like, yes...

But I appreciate that Michonne says "we" when talking about this choice because she and Rick are a package deal. Saving Negan without consulting the others was Rick’s most controversial move among tf, and it clearly had some tf members feeling understandably upset. But it’s nice that, by saying "we," Michonne doesn’t make Rick feel like he was alone in that choice.

Rick thinks the Saviors just want food, not Negan back in charge, and Michonne reminds him they don’t know that for sure, which is valid, and it’s great they can communicate like this.

And then I love that Michonne lets him know she’s been thinking about an agreement between the communities and that she maps out the idea with her hand over his heart. Their closeness really is unparalleled.

Also the way Rick is looking at his wife throughout this scene is um...it's gold and damn near made me lose my train of thought so let me get myself back on track lol.

I love that Rick affirms Michonne's idea, telling her it’s good and smart, and how he looks right at her while saying it could bring people closer together. And the way Michonne touches him. I love that they really don’t take their hands off each other for pretty much the entire scene. 😊

And then Rick opens up and lets her know what's on his mind as he shares that Daryl isn’t happy, and it makes him worried about things breaking down. Scenes like this are why I believe Michonne is not just Rick's wife but truly his best friend. They always can confide in each other and express everything going on inside - their hopes, ideas, worries, and fears.

It’s sweet that Michonne acknowledges the validity of what Daryl feels. And Rick groans a bit and says Daryl cares too much sometimes. I appreciate that Michonne can sense Rick's headspace so clearly here and doesn’t want a divide to be caused between those two brothers (even tho it ends up being a bit too late sadly).

The way Michonne whispers 'hey' and then gently turns Rick's face towards her, it’s like a visible illustration of how she centers him and reminds him to stay focused on the good and how to move things forward. And of course, Rick is receptive to this redirection as he looks into her eyes. Love it. 😊

Michonne acknowledges that if Daryl is worried then there’s a reason. And again, because R&M are a package deal, she asks, "What do we do about it?" knowing however they handle it, it will be together.

And then, like a well-oiled machine, Rick says he thinks they need to fix that bridge, and Michonne says she'll get the people to agree to a charter. Look at these leaders making big community decisions all while snuggling in bed together. 🥰

So then it’s Rick’s turn to do some teasing when he asks if it’ll be a "charter or constitution?" Again, I love how lines like these show Rick and Michonne know each other's humor as Michonne amusedly confirms it'll be a charter. And it's just sweet too cuz, while they're playing around, I'm sure Rick fully believes Michonne would be capable of drafting up a whole effective constitution for the new world lol.

Their synchronized smiles at this moment are seriously the best. 🙌🏽And then Rick kissing her three times is even better. The way Michonne smiles at him. The way he always has to come back for more. I live.😍

And I just absolutely love getting to see Rick and Michonne in such a relaxed happy state. Scenes like this make it so clear why Rick and Michonne haven't moved on from each other after all those years apart. You don't move on from a love like this.

Richonne gives each other joy like no other and this whole exchange shows how they work so effortlessly together as leaders and lovers. What a pair. 🤩 As Andy said, they truly are perfect partners in this imperfect world.

Plus it’s just always so sweet that two of the strongest, fiercest, most intimidating warriors in the world find each other so cute and cuddly. 😋

Y'all, Richonne + cars is a thing, and also Richonne + candle-lit scenes too, because they are always A1.

...But then the candles get blown out, and this scene proceeds to reach its peak of perfection. 🤩

As someone who loves a lengthy Richonne scene, I remember first watching this ep live and being so happy that they weren’t cutting away from them once the lights went out. I had no idea it was because we were in for something so heavenly. 😇

Cuz they turn off the lights and then immediately wrap their arms around each other again to go to sleep and it’s always so sweet seeing Rick softly touch her hair. All the little gestures just feel like this person in their arms is their treasure who has their whole heart. #ILoveEveryRichonneDetail

Then....y'all then Rick opens his eyes to utter the greatest thing he's ever said to Michonne thus far - “How’d I get so lucky finding you?”

BEAUTIFUL. Powerful, meaningful, romantic, fitting, perfect. I could go on. 👩🏽‍🍳💋

I love the delivery of the line because it really feels like it’s this reoccurring thought for Rick that, at this moment, his mind was thinking and just had to utter out loud.

It's fitting he’d say this after the convo they just had because it really did capture why Michonne is so perfect for him, and I love that he knows it and vocalizes it. Michonne is a genuinely phenomenal individual, so it makes perfect sense that Rick feels not just happy but lucky to have her.

And just to think about their journey and know that we’d arrive at a point where Rick reflects on when he met Michonne and feels so personally lucky to have found her. 😭 She’s his soulmate, and he knows it wholeheartedly.

And I love that beyond literally finding each other, there’s something deep about the way Rick and Michonne found each other in their truest form. They saw each other in a deeper way and brought each other back from the lost state they were in.

Also, I always think it’s sweet how Rick said this with zero other motives - this was just his abundant love for her pouring out. I’m so grateful that in Rick's final season, they didn’t give him and Michonne any tiffs or division, but rather showed that they have only grown closer and more in love since the last season.

Like after one of the series' longest time jumps, I adore that we return to a Rick and Michonne who have clearly spent the last year and a half strengthening their bond even more, and healing, and fully enjoying their life together. They are really and truly an unbreakable unit who only fall more in love the more time they spend together.

When I think about all Rick and Michonne have been through together and all they’ve built, it’s just the absolute greatest thing to know Rick thinks about his life and feels so sincerely lucky that he found Michonne. We knew that the day they found each other at the prison fence was life-changing, and it's great to see them two know it too.

If you were to tell Season One Rick that he was going to eventually lose his son, Carl, but would still have family that made him feel like a lucky man, he'd probably think you were crazy. And yet, this is the power of Richonne. The family found between Rick and Michonne runs so deep and is so authentic that, even after the most painful loss imaginable, Rick knows he still has so much to live for because he has Michonne and Judith.

Then it’s so sweet that Michonne hears Rick say this heart-bursting line and takes his hand because she feels the same way, and is likely thinking that's the...

#DirectQuoteFromHerMind you already know. 😋

And then Michonne softly tells Rick, "We both lost enough, it’s time we won a little don’t you think?" My heart. 😭 This moment is everything.

And y’all, I had gone back and re-read one of my old Richonne in Retrospect posts from several years ago where I reflected on a s6 scene between Michonne and David, that Alexandrian who got bit in 6.03. In that 6.03 scene, David talks to Michonne about his love story which completely and intentionally mirrors Michonne's own love story with Rick. And in that old post, I wrote this:

"Rick and Michonne finding each other in all this is really one of the best things that happened to them. And in this type of world people take a whole lot of L’s so it’s cool that they were actually able to find such a big win in finding each other…and if R&M ever verbally imply a similar sentiment to each other about how finding each other in all this was everything, this will literally be me…"

So the fact that over a year after I wrote that, Rick and Michonne express exactly this...😭🙌🏾😭 It is the best ever. And just as I predicted, that gif above was and still is me whenever I watch this scene. It is just so powerful for Rick and Michonne to feel like amid all their loss, they still won big time by finding each other and falling in love.

And then Michonne so lovingly kisses his hand, and Rick is perfectly content with that exchange as he shuts his eyes. But then, once again, the gift that keeps on giving gives us even more. 🤩

Cuz Michonne turns to look at him and then Rick...y’all, I’ll never get over how he looks at her right here. Like he looks right at Michonne with a breathtaking look that says, “I’m wholly and completely yours” and so clearly shows that she seriously means everything to him.

(also! y'all, I wrote this whole post before that V-day trailer, and so the fact that we've now got to hear Rick directly say, "I am yours," before the show even officially premieres 😍😍😍 my goodness TOWL is just blessings on blessings)

So then they kiss and it wonderfully ramps up with Michonne getting on top of him and reiterating "the famous Rick Grimes." 😏

…except this time, i think sis means he’s famous for reasons only she knows about. and that’s their business. 😋

As Danai has noted before, Rick knows how to make Michonne vulnerable, and Michonne knows how to make Rick laugh, which is just sublime.

And the way Rick laughs at the close of this scene - you know that if there’s one person he likes being "the famous Rick Grimes" to it’s Mrs. Grimes. 😊

Y’all, this whole scene blessed us ten times over. Our ship has it all. And we really do get whatever we want lol. 💅🏽

(Side note: it's also important to note that we don't just get whatever we want as some sort of forced fan service from the show. (Considering Gimple was planting Richonne seeds before viewers had even seen the two on screen together, that fan-service take simply can't be true). The real reason we get what we want is because the very love story we want to see is also the very love story the show wanted to organically craft. These TWD writers, actors, producers, network/production companies etc, fully recognize Rick and Michonne's relationship as a special marriage with crazy love between two tethered soulmates, and we're just in agreement and alignment with that. And I feel fortunate that the canon story being told is as beautiful, romantic, and authentic as we wanted and knew it would be)

I’m so grateful for this tender scene and that these actors are so capable of playing every shade of Richonne perfectly. Like we got serious, playful, romantic, steamy, and utterly heartfelt all in this one scene. 🙌🏾

And while Rick has expressed feeling so lucky to have Michonne in the way he looks at her for many seasons, it was wonderful to hear him also outright verbalize that in finding her he found a true reward. He doesn’t take her for granted, and Michonne doesn’t either, knowing that he is her win in all this too.

This moment is also beautiful because Rick and Michonne are two selfless individuals who have been put through the wringer on their individual and shared journeys yet still remained dedicated to giving their all to protect their people - And then the universe sent them each other and said ♡ you deserve to be taken care of too, ♡ you deserve to be held too, ♡ you deserve a gift that's just for you too. ♡ oh and also the gift that we're sending you is...

Rick and Michonne are each other's blessing. This scene solidified that beautifully.

They won because of each other, and we won with special scenes like this that contribute so much to Richonne’s perfect love story. 😌

#richonne #the best thing Rick said to Mrs. Grimes 😍#one week until TOWL!!!#this time next week I'll be watching my babies on screen again 😭#can't wait 🥳#top 30 #top 10 #number 7 #rick x michonne #reveling in richonne #twd 9.01 #twd towl #the ones who live

222 notes · View notes

bearinabandana · 11 months ago

Text

no but actually what was that. what was going on with Missy's theme at the time. I've literally never seen anyone mentioning that, is it fan made?? I was pretty sure that the woman who did the vocals released the lyrics but I'm not really sure anymore

they should rock more themes with lyrics like Missy's theme

#did anyone here talk about that when s8 & s9 & s10 were being released #what was that I need to talk about that

3 notes · View notes

longbobmckenzie · 6 months ago

Text

Things I'd do...

... if I were a Fusebox writer. Fusebox, if you're reading this, feel free to take these into consideration. I know you won't though because it would require more work on your part.

(note: this ended up being a lot longer than I expected, but I probably should have expected that)

5 girls, 5 boys

Let's go back to the early seasons when we started off with a full lineup of 5 couples to start off with. Like I said, this means more work, more characters. But it also allows for...

More unromanceable characters

Hear me out. The last truly unromanceable male character was... Toby? I think? But for the most part, all the male characters from S6-S9 are available in some way (even if it's only at the finale/reunion, which is really just a copout from FB because they don't want to branch routes but still want to be able to say that everyone's romanceable).

Here's the thing. Everyone wants to romance their favourite characters, nobody wants to meet a character and really love them only to find out you can't have them. Trust me, I've been there. But it's also not the end of the world, and it means you can read/write fanfics for that character, pine for them from afar, etc etc. Maybe it's my sadism talking, but it kind of makes things more interesting in a way? To me it's kinda boring to have all these guys in the villa who would get with me at the drop of a hat (obviously excepting the slow burn LIs).

But the thing about unromanceable characters is that you NEED them in order to write a realistic season with distinct characters who aren't just interchangeable with one another based on MC's choices. Those characters can help drive the plot, they can have canon storylines, they can be friends, they don't have to share dialogue, etc etc.

First coupling

So with those first 2 points out of the way, here's what I'd like for the first coupling:

Of the 5 guys, 1 is completely unavailable to be chosen, and another is not an endgame LI. Think Noah and Rocco in S2 - one can't be coupled up with but is still a slow burn LI, the other CAN be coupled up with but is always going to be dumped. I think this formula from S2 works so well because it still means you have 3 OG guys to be endgame LIs but also allows for the other 2 to be part of fixed plots.

I want the boys to choose instead of the girls. HOW HAS THIS NOT BEEN DONE YET?!?!?! On the show, the girls only picked on day 1 for the first... 1 or 2 seasons? and then it was always boys choosing until they started messing around with other options. But this could work SO WELL for the game! MC has the choice for each guy to step forward or not. If she steps forward for the unromanceable guy, he picks someone else. If she doesn't step forward for someone, he won't pick her. If she steps forward, gets picked, and then steps forward again for someone else, that person steals her and it gets acknowledged throughout the game a bit (minor branching!) If she doesn't step forward for anyone, she ends up being the last picked. IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN

Couples/Sneaking around

You shouldn't be able to do bits with someone you're not coupled up with except under certain circumstances:

Casa Amor

You're developing a relationship with someone but not able to couple up with them (or one of you gets stolen) and you're upfront with your partners about going to the daybeds together

You're sneaking around behind people's backs but there WILL be consequences

Just honour the couples, that's the point of the game. Stop letting people go to the hideaway with people they're not coupled up with.

Consequences/Drama

Further to the above, there should be consequences for BOTH parties if you sleep with someone you're not coupled up with. Even if you go to the daybeds and your partners know about it, they should be able to say how disrespectful that is to them.

Sneaky kisses always have a way of coming out on the show, so the same thing should be done in the game. It's harder to branch because some players may choose not to kiss anyway, so those people shouldn't be attacked for something they haven't done. But if you kiss someone and your partner finds out and breaks up with you because of it? And the partner of the person you kissed also dumps them? That would be fun!

Female villains

Just stop with the whole thing where one girl constantly gets up in MC's face. Whether it's because the girl is gunning for the same guy or for other reasons, it's so tired and annoying. Or a girl being a bitch for absolutely no reason.

And especially stop making them WOC!

More filler scenes

This has been one of the big complaints over the last few seasons, and that's the lack of filler scenes. There needs to be a balance, obviously, because you don't want too much filler - but this is how we learn about the characters' personalities. Let us be involved in fun chats, give our MC a personality other than "everyone loves me except that one bitch who hates me for no apparent reason," let us chill with the other islanders instead of constantly being involved in drama, eavesdropping on conversations, investigating who slept with who, and doing a million challenges

(Slightly) Longer season

Season 2 is the only deviation from the typical 13-14 "day" season (S1 is technically 7 weeks squeezed into 14 days, later seasons use volumes instead of sticking to a morning/afternoon/evening format but they fit so much into them that they just feel chaotic). Adding a little filler and stretching the seasons out a bit (5-7 volumes seems reasonable?) should make them more enjoyable to play (and replay?)

Cliffhangers

I love cliffhangers (insert joke about all the LIs I like who do rock climbing), but not every episode/volume needs one. It's perfectly fine to find a natural ending to an episode (like going to bed at the end of the night, which was common in S2), and save the cliffhangers for when they really matter

Make the challenges make sense

I didn't play S8 and I'm not playing S9, but I've heard some complaints about the order of challenges - playing Mr & Mrs in Casa Amor, etc. And I saw that today's volume included the Excess Baggage challenge, which is fine, but that one should always be near the beginning

Have the 'get to know people' challenges (kissing challenges, truth/dare, never have I ever) in the first few volumes. Once people are coupled up and relationships are developing, hit 'em with the snogathon to maybe create some drama (and do it when new bombshells have just come in so you get a chance to kiss the new guy). After Casa Amor, you can do Mr & Mrs, any other couple compatibility challenges (or do one of these just before Casa Amor to create some drama just before splitting up the couples), and of course Snog, Marry, Pie.

Have a few of the random obstacle course challenges, food challenges, building tents/sandcastles/whatever challenges interspersed throughout, but make them mean something.

And for the love of donuts, make the challenges in Raunchy Races objective - none of this 'coolest person' or 'hottest person' or whatever, just stick to tallest/shortest/oldest/etc or 'one person must snog the person they fancy the most' or whatever like in S2

Casa Amor

I think CA is a great plot device, but there's a fine line between 'too long' and 'not long enough' that's hard to figure out. But either way, let's stop with the hideaway and sending couples on dates, because nobody's coupled up in CA. Give everyone a chance to get to know everyone. Have a couple guys who aren't interested in MC. If MC is wlw, give some scenes with her LI where they can talk about the future and wanting to couple up when they have a chance, etc.

WLW Routes

I don't do WLW routes in the game so I don't know exactly what the experience is like, but I know that it's not great - carrying on a romance with someone with no consequences but also not being able to couple up with them and sometimes watching them also be carrying on a relationship with whoever they're coupled up with.

I don't have any brilliant solutions, but why not spend every night on the daybeds together until being able to couple up? Why not have two guys who couple up together on these routes, like in S3? Or bring in another character like Sammi in S1 to even out the couples? Or an NB/bisexual character who could couple up with a girl or guy depending on what MC does?

Ultimately, the show and the game are extremely straight-coded, and it's not easy to account for players being able to couple up with female LIs early on, but every option should be explored instead of just doing what they're doing every season.

#litg #love island the game #fusebox #fusebox games

133 notes · View notes

fountainpenguin · 4 months ago

Note

Any tips for writing Cosmo? I'm struggling a bit with writing him and I'd thought I'd ask you since I enjoy your characterization of him (and while im here, who is the hardest fop character for you to write?)

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoy my take on Cosmo! He's got a pretty messed-up backstory in my works and I enjoy him :)

?? In the editor, my pics are arranged "a reasonable way" - next to each other, multiple in a line - but in the queue, they're... standalone, and thus a huge mess. I'm so sorry. I hope it doesn't post that way.

Talkin' Cosmo

This post talks a lot about Cosmo in my 'fics, and I have other Cosmo inspo resources at the bottom if you're interested. I'll give some brief notes before deep-diving into what I've done with him.

Cosmo has his clumsy moments, but he's a very good and protective dad! And that's very important to me.

"Mission Responsible," "For Emergencies Only," "Super Zero," "Farm Pit"

He's here for the fun AND the disciplining! He's on top of both! He's trying to equally protect Foop as much as Poof despite their past grievances! He took a laser for his son in "Playdate of Doom"!! D:

Also, Cosmo in "Formula For Disaster" - I will take a grenade or bullet for everyone in this room. Please let me take a bullet for you.

What is UP with Wanda's multi-season one-sided beef with Foop? lmao. He's always polite to her (Calling her Auntie Wanda compared to Uncle Idiot & tolerating her grabbing his collar and yelling in his face). Who would have beef with a baby who's always apologizing and saying thank you? sdklfjsdfj... (Kick his butt, Wanda) Cosmo's seemingly fine with him and even asked for Foop's business card, but Wanda does not like him. Foop brought Timmy some food he's proud he made and she put him to sleep "until his true love kisses him" without telling him that was the condition of the caramel apple she handed him, and then she told the camera that they were all going to live happily ever after... savage... Girl, that is not very "You have to learn how to forgive people after they try to destroy you" of you. Rules for thee, not for me... I love her, but that's really funny. Cosmo's pretty chill with him. I do not think Foop's relationship with Anti-Cosmo is particularly good. Like??? idk why I'm even asking what's up with her beef- It IS canonically Wanda who wants to kill Timmy's parents (S4's "Fairy Friends and Neighbors," plus she nearly kills Mrs. Crocker in S9's "Fairly Old Parent" and only stops because Timmy warns her he's "not going back to jail with her"), but... Wanda, he's a toddler.

Also, Cosmo even adjusts his body language sometimes because he's trying to copy and improve!! Love that for him!!")

"Mission Responsible"

Shout-out to Cosmo in "School of Crock" smiling and tearing up affectionately when he thinks Poof came out to him... regarding Poof "wanting to marry a cat") and he states that he's both accepting and proud of him. This is not what Poof said, but it's the thought that counts.

Cosmo, they could never make me listen to "He's a deadbeat dad" slander <3

He has his lapses in judgment, but he cares deeply about both Poof and Timmy and works hard to be a good parent to them (and later Chloe too), send post.

The other thing you need to know about Cosmo is that he is SALTY as ALL HECK. But... he plays it in a way that I'd call plausible deniability (considering the "dumb" persona he's set himself up with).

Ex: Cosmo has strong feelings about Timmy's parents (He goes into a panic in "Sooper Poof" because "Those two have no idea how to raise a child!" but he usually keeps that on the downlow. I said above that Cosmo seems chill with Foop, but it's worth noting that he spends an excessive amount of time "trying to get a sprite off Foop" at the end of "Spellementary School" by slamming him with a frying pan, and he says words that imply he's playing dumb about it... Interesting...

Cosmo's way of treating people is very different from Wanda grabbing Foop by the collar and screaming in his face, or cheerfully announcing her plan to put him in handcuffs, or when she slapped Juandissimo in the face with her purse in "Stupid Cupid," or (although I don't consider very-late-series Juandissimo to be an accurate portrayal of his character) when she shoved him in "Fairy Con" and snapped that if he didn't back off, she'd "kick him in the butt-issimo."

Wanda intimidates, presumably because Big Daddy raised her that way. Funnily enough, Mama Cosma also tends to use intimidating (Ex: Being outright mean to Wanda, kidnapping Wanda's dad) to the point that she seemingly spooks H.P. and Anti-Cosmo enough to make them back down when she takes Poof from them. but Timmy straight-up grabs her by the collar and yells in her face, and I think that's funny.

Words cannot explain how funny it is to me that neither Cosmo nor Anti-Cosmo are fans of direct confrontation... but Cosmo handles it by getting up close to bother you, pushing the envelope, and Anti-Cosmo will run away. Ex: "When Nerds Collide" - A.C. pours salt on Jorgen's shoes, tells Anti-Wanda he'll be back for her, then scampers off with a look of terror on his face. This man will only taunt you if you're locked away or he has back-up. He's very easily spooked.

Anti-Cosmo when one fairy (Jorgen) stands between him and his wife: PEACE OUT, BABE!

Cosmo when his family's in genuine danger:

Cosmo does not like head-on confrontation if it can be avoided, as he's much more into mind games or distraction tactics (like suggesting Jorgen scramble the fairies, or showing Jorgen a slideshow presentation to stall for time).

Anti-Cosmo always opts for running over fighting (Literally all his episodes except "Oddlympics," which is the only episode where no one threatens him directly unless you count Cupid poofing up angry cheetahs, which... fair) or else he just plain shuts down ("Fairly Odd Baby" & "Anti-Poof" are good examples).

LOVE his streak of looking confused in the background when he doesn't want to speak up. He's always a little nervous and I think it's funny. Even if you break into his house, he won't even yell at you. You can just do it...

Cosmo 🤝 Anti-Cosmo

Big "I don't know what I'm doing" energy

They just cover it with opposite personas... Anti-Cosmo pretends he knows everything and Cosmo pretends to know nothing.

One of my favorite scenes truly showcases Cosmo's saltiness. In "Jerk of All Trades," he offers to show Juandissimo to the room he can stay in (after Juandissimo loses his corporate housing)...

... and promptly throws him in the freezer. Hey, what??

Keep an eye out for scenes where Cosmo seems smug, because those tend to be the best examples of his plausible deniability / clever subtleties

The beef Cosmo and Juandissimo have with each other cracks me up... I like the OG canon that Juandissimo is terrified of Cosmo. In an early script for "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" (linked), he straight-up says Cosmo is the only one he's afraid of because he's a "warrior" and "a cunning and calculating foe." Like ??? Excuse me?

-> Part of this did make it into the final version with Juandissimo whining to Remy that he's "lucky to be alive" after Cosmo almost turned his hand into a fist! Why is Juandissimo always flaunting his muscles but then he'll whine that Cosmo spooks him... sdlkfj.

- My secret headcanon is that Juandissimo was once witness to Cosmo losing control (as Cosmo is confirmed in multiple episodes to be extremely powerful and dangerous) and he realized then and there that he never wanted to be on the receiving end of that fury. But nobody ever believes him that Cosmo is scary, so he just cringes and whines in the background.

"Bird Song" (Florence and the Machine) is one of my Cosmo inspo songs for that reason.

Also, I live for the scene in "Super Zero" where Cosmo is holding Chet Ubetcha (whom he was taking to find his car) while Chet reports about how Cosmo is a terrible superhero...

... so Cosmo straight-up says "There's your car" and drops him into a volcano. Incredible. No notes. Saltiest boy in the world. It plays rent-free in my head...

He can be salty for a variety of reasons, but it seems to flare up especially when he's being territorial of his family or space

[Very long post (11k words from here) - Click at own discretion]

Major Cloudlands AU story spoilers up to where we are in the 130 Prompts; if you've made it to "Sentry," you've seen it.

So... Let's get detailed!

[Basic overview, cnt'd from above; the spoiler bits come later]

Cosmo is a mama's boy! We know that pretty well from canon; it's one of his most obvious traits. However... he won't leave Wanda for her (as much as his mother antagonizes him).

- He's VERY loyal to Mama Cosma, to the point of sneaking her into his and Wanda's underwater castle in "Hassle in the Castle" and not telling Wanda about it.

- I think "Presto Change-O" and "Odd Squad" showcase his attachment well- He's reasonably concerned for her and very caring, but he's clearly living his own life at home.

- When he darts out on Timmy in the former episode, he first assures Timmy that when he and Wanda are back, they'll "all do something really fun and magical together." After Mama Cosma recovers from her 9-hour flu, he doesn't make Wanda wait around and takes the lead in getting them out of there (with a cheerful good-bye to his mom).

Context: My Cloudlands AU 'fics strive to be "as canon as possible," and I'm particularly proud of a scene I wrote in "I Just Live Here" where Foop reflects on family relations (and we see evidence of Cosmo and Wanda's relationship straining due to insults):

Once he came clean about his marriage to a damsel she couldn't stand, Mama Cosma couldn't keep her hands out of his life. She threads her son's mind with all sorts of poisoned commentary and doesn't seem to feel a smidgen of remorse. Like… wow. I lie, cheat, and manipulate people too, but when I try to imagine my own mother fighting tooth and nail to split me apart from my friends, that just seems unnecessarily cruel. It's weird. I know my auntie has done her best to tolerate it (holding her tongue and temper in a way that even I admire), but once when I was lurking around Timmy Turner's house before he came home from school, I heard she and my uncle break into a fight. Well… More of a scolding, really. After three or four minutes of listing her grievances against Mama Cosma, Auntie Wanda simply burst into tears. "I can't go to her house anymore. I can't keep going to these fancy lunches in Fairy World. But I worry all the time that if I don't go, you won't come back to me. Mama Cosma can really stick her hooks in you. I just don't feel like you respect me anymore, Cosmo, or like you believe living with me is an improvement over being a mama's boy and staying all day in your childhood bedroom. I need your support when she bears into me. Can you do that?" "I'll try to be better," was his response, stunned and shaky. I'd felt that way myself, curiosity getting the better of me as I floated as near to the window as I dared, my ear pressed against the wall. I could hear my uncle's fingers fiddling with his tie, wrapping the fabric around and around his wrist. "I don't know, Wanda… She's my mama. I know she can be a little harsh sometimes, but she's just getting a little old and cranky. She wouldn't do anything to really hurt me…" "She's been flinging insults at me for years." "… This is real? It's not all just some smart people test about sarcasm or irony or hidden underlying meanings? I'm not good at picking up clues, Wanda… You know that." Then, more quietly, "I'll try… It's just that sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with what's going on. I never feel like I'm in on the joke, and then when I finally am, it's like everyone thinks it isn't funny anymore. And what's more confusing is that sometimes, people say something I thought was kind of mean and everybody laughs, but then other times, everybody gets real quiet and uncomfortable. It's really hard for me to figure out the difference before the words are out of my mouth. And I don't always know there's something wrong unless it's explained to me with puppets or words… but I'll try. Can you keep being patient with me, even when I mess things up all over again?" "Every time, Cosmo. I love you… SO much…" Well. That had been an awkward thing to overhear. But I know why they had that discussion when they thought they were alone in private. I don't blame my auntie and uncle for trying to keep the trials of their marriage away from their son and two godkids. They're doing what they can to provide stability. My own parents could likely learn a thing or two from them. My father shouts a lot when he's upset, and my mother often floats there and takes it, not saying a word. I've overheard breaking plates and sometimes the frustrated pounding of a hand against the wall, but… Well.

I really like this scene because I think it's a good balance of Cosmo being insensitive, but at least somewhat justified in his confusion and misunderstanding ("But... you also say mean things to me" and/or "People think it's funny and I don't always get when it isn't"). It allows me to treat their bickering as canon while also showing them working things out in the background.

It's got Wanda standing up for herself and Cosmo wanting to be better... and I like my set-up of them talking where they know Timmy wouldn't hear, and Foop's just flat-out eavesdropping. Makes me laugh. Everyone here is spot-on, imo.

"Crocker of Gold" is an episode I like for Cosmo's misunderstandings- That's the one where he dresses as a leprechaun and Crocker catches him and demands gold, so Cosmo takes gold from real leprechauns and leaves them a note. They're upset with him, and both Timmy and Wanda are shocked he left a note. Cosmo claims it would've been rude not to. He generally is following a social script... it just might not match the circumstances he's in. I like to think that he skates through life trying to be polite, salty, under the radar, or playing dumb. Those things have gotten him this far in life, so he defaults to them. -> I showed a screenshot earlier of Cosmo changing his body language to match Wanda's. I don't think it's common for him to want to learn new things or change his behavior, but he's all-in at being a good dad and tends to mimic what he sees Wanda do. He follows role models. -> Jorgen is clearly his role model in "Cosmo Rules," since Cosmo also opts for a military get-up while defending Da Rules despite that not being required (Juandissimo didn't) -> In "Oh, Brother," Cosmo lists things that a brother can do for you- Drive a getaway car, lend you bail money - which he's probably saying because his older brother is a con artist. -> In "Something's Fishy," he even mimics Schnozmo's catchphrase: saying "Two words!" followed by something that's not two words. Hilariously, both of these happened in Season 5- Long before Schnozmo was introduced in Season 7. -> And by that logic, it's not surprising Cosmo can be rude and speak his mind a lot since Mama Cosma and Schnozmo are both known for that. Heck, Cosmo gets under Juandissimo's skin in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" by mimicking him, and it was his own idea to do so.

Notably, in Poof's POV section of this same story, he says he and his dad visit Mama Cosma's without Wanda, and shares this:

When I'm with the Cosma side of my family, Mama Cosma lets me put my feet up on the furniture if I want to. I definitely can't do that at my granddad's because my nonna would have a fit. Mama Cosma doesn't care if I eat in the living room, even on her couch while we look at old scrapbooks of my dad and Uncle Schnozmo when they were kids (Plus old yearbooks of her and Papa Cosma… but my papa died when my dad was only two, so I never got to meet him). There's definitely… a weird vibe at Mama Cosma's prim and frilly little house, though. She loves my dad and he'll usually spend the whole visit with me when we go, but my own mama won't set foot anywhere near my grandmother's house anymore. When I was a baby I didn't really get it, but then I learned to read and figured out why. Mama Cosma frosts all her cookies so they say my mother's name with large Xs or strike symbols through them… or if not that, then symbols of raging fire. I feel really bad not eating her cookies because she always works so hard on them and they taste so good, but I feel like I'm betraying my mama when I do. My dad gets quiet and evasive about it, but… he just tells me not to worry. He says I can do what I want, and that if I don't want to eat them, he isn't going to force me. So there's that. I've seen my dad get confrontational before, but he's usually pretty tame around my grandma. I brought up the cookies to my mama once and she tersely said we'd "talk about it when I was older." So I asked Timmy while we were filling out coloring books and he told me everything. Mama Cosma can't stand my mama… Timmy says it's because my mom "took away her little boy" by marrying her, which is what led him to move out of her house and into a new place with my mom. It's weird. There's a nagging feeling in my gut that makes me suspect that's not the whole story. I'm not even sure I want the whole story, so… I guess I'll take my mama's word for it. She'll tell me "when I'm older."

They are brothers, your honor...

Mama Cosma is important to Cosmo. She may not like his wife, but she was also his sole caretaker for tens of thousands of years (knowing what we know about the war between Fairies and Anti-Fairies taking place 90k years ago, since "Balance of Flour" is its anniversary, and we know Cosmo and Wanda have only been together 10k years).

I like to think Cosmo wants Poof to know his grandma since Cosmo and Wanda were cut off for so long. Cosmo has a paternal grandpa on his canon family tree ("77 Secrets of The Fairly OddParents (Revealed)" - Grandpa Gonzo - but Cosmo lost his dad young and I don't think he's close to his grandfather.

Family's important to Wanda too - she's very close with her dad - and I think she and Cosmo both make sacrifices for each other's happiness and Poof's sake, even though it's hard on them both.

Again, I like to play Cosmo as a mama's boy trying to balance the complexities of his life... Allowing Wanda space away from his mother, but also letting Poof have the chance to meet his grandma, but also telling Poof that if he doesn't want to eat the I Hate Wanda cookies, he doesn't have to.

I also think it's worth nothing that Cosmo tried his dang hardest to be very positive about his pregnancy and childbirth.

- He had a lot of hormones messing with his mood (leading him to be confused when he batted Timmy into the basement while in bear form, then returned to fairy form and couldn't find him), but he was super grateful for his pregnancy (Handled his morning sickness without disgust & we see him apologize for inconveniencing Timmy several times). - He didn't even resent Timmy for snapping at him and telling him to get lost, which is nice since Cosmo has a history of petty grudges. During his contractions, he's the one telling Timmy and Wanda to remain calm and to enjoy "this beautiful moment." - Even while actively giving birth and clearly in a lot of pain, he insisted childbirth was a wonderful experience (fighting for a smile through his tears, his eyes red around the edges as he held and rubbed his belly... Doin' his BEST to get through it). - I think it's interesting how positive he was since sometimes he can be very pessimistic (Ex: "End of the Universe-ity" when he points out that "Fairy powers are totally lame and limited and will last 5 more years, tops" compared to Dark powers).

I have to showcase Cosmo's happy moment followed by /double blinks in confusion as his newborn is taken from him.

Every one of these faces is precious... He's a daddy! Thank goodness he has his precious baby! His hair is still extra ruffled from his stress and strain! He's in his hospital gown! His baby is his world! His godkid is delighted, and Cosmo is so happy to have his two boys in his life! ... oh no. help him.

Does Cosmo have his feet spread under the blankets the same way Peri, Anti-Cosmo, and Anti-Wanda all spread their feet in A New Wish to support heavy books? That's funny... He has a big baby in his lap...

I think... that covers my overview of How I Suggest Writing Cosmo In General:

- Mama's boy who's thoughtful, salty, a good dad, and doing his best to keep his marriage together because he loves his wife (although he does struggle to find the line for his teasing). He's not big on confrontation, though he'll stand up for his family when push comes to shove. - He does get jealous, but he and Wanda BOTH admit to having crushes outside their relationship; I don't think it's entirely fair to judge Cosmo for his fantasies without also judging Wanda, who's equally blatant in multiple episodes and has very questionable interests. I like to think they both know the other wouldn't really go for anyone else, though I do agree I'm not the biggest fan of these jokes. - He loves both Timmy and Poof. I didn't touch much on Timmy in this post since it's long and there are many good episodes of their dynamic (Timmy has a tendency to trust Cosmo and leap without looking). - Looks for role models to mimic. For better or worse, he grew up with Mama Cosma and Schnozmo, so he can be overbearing, sly, and rude. Loves his baby and his family very much. Very protective... Please let him take a grenade for them.

I think if I were to personally start my take on Cosmo from scratch, I'd ask this:

- What am I depicting Cosmo do? Who taught him this behavior? -> His mom was overprotective of him, so he probably read it in a book, got it from a kid at school, or picked it up form his mom or brother. - If it's none of these things... Why is he doing that action? (If he's older, maybe he got it from watching a godkid or reading a comic book). Is he following a social script from his culture? -> That's a good opportunity for worldbuilding. - He might've put in a lot of work, because something about the behavior is important to him (or was in his past). Since he's often associated with cars ("School's Out! The Musical" flashbacks, "Cosmonopoly," he's the car in "Odd Squad," his racecar bed in "Hassle In the Castle"), -> I've always imagined his car was the one thing he had that was truly his, and it represented freedom from his mom. After all, two episodes confirm he was driving in his younger years (and we know from "Transparents" that Wanda lacks experience)

These are good starting points if you're looking to develop a deep Cosmo portrayal with layers of backstory, though you can always keep it simple (especially for short one-shots).

I do think nailing down your interpretation of Cosmo's backstory is a critical aspect of deciding how you portray him in present day (as with any character). Everyone's vision of his story will be different, leading to their own take on Cosmo (and potentially Anti-Cosmo).

⭐ Here are some backstory jump-off points!

- "This Is Your Wish," "School's Out! The Musical," & "Cosmonopoly" are three episodes from the OG series episode covering the main story beats of Cosmo's backstory (Implied to have lost his dad young, grew up with his mom, forced into military school against his will, sunk Atlantis (9 separate times as of "Something's Fishy"), marrying Wanda). - "Double-Oh Schnozmo" debuts Cosmo's older brother, who clearly takes advantage of him. Schnozmo was off the radar enough that he didn't know Poof existed. Cosmo has great faith in and respect for his brother, and is heartbroken when he realizes Schnozmo took advantage of his trusting nature- There's a moment as he's talking through it that you can SEE the moment he breaks... That to me is quintessential Cosmo.

Cosmo, having just said "He must think I'm the biggest fool in the world!" and freezing up one beat before he hurls his ham into the forest and takes off to be alone... He knows. Their past, their fond memories... How much of it was real to Schnozmo? Does his brother even care for him? He splinters.

- Neither Cosmo's mom nor Wanda's dad knew their children were married until "Apartnership" and "Talkin' Trash" (respectively), though Blonda seemingly did in her debut. Cosmo implies at the end of "Talkin' Trash" that he wants to take over the Fairywinkle family business?? Also, it's heavily implied Big Daddy was going to let Cosmo stay with Wanda when Wanda moved home, and it's important to me...

- Speaking of family, Cosmo found out in "Cosmo Rules" he has von Strangle blood. In my canon, he trains to take over as Keeper of Da Rules after Jorgen after he leaves Timmy and Chloe (and it's probably something I'll carry for him to New Wish 'fics since he could be doing it in his godparent retirement era- especially since Jorgen's more mellow in New Wish). There's lots you can do with that!

- Anti-Cosmo was old enough to represent his people in a truce attempt during "Balance of Flour" (canonically 90k years pre-series, as it was the anniversary in that episode), heavily implying Cosmo and those older than him fought in this war.

- Cosmo claimed he never went to Spellementary School (in the episode of the same title), but in "Love Triangle," he confirms he had a role in the school play.

-> He becomes a "pageant parent" to Poof in this episode, hovering around him and making Poof run his lines over and over even though Poof is clearly uninterested (Wanda even using the words "You know Poof doesn't want to be in his school play"). He reminds me of his overbearing mama!

- "Truth or Cosmoquences" depicts Cosmo's high school years. Juandissimo claims he met Wanda during high school, they're confirmed to have dated, and Cosmo taunts Juandissimo in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" by claiming he "lost his woman to an idiot."

-> Juandissimo is on good enough terms with Cosmo and Wanda that he attends, like, 5 different parties at their house in the OG series (including the baby shower Wanda's family didn't show up for) - I don't normally see people treat "Cosmonopoly" as canon, but I personally like it; I use the diner as the place Wanda started to fall for him since she wasn't very happy about being hit by his car. - Cosmo confirmed he designed his Cosmonopoly game to remind him of the day he met Wanda. He heavily implies he went to Pixie World to do his laundry that day (Pixie Woods is a location next to the laundromat). In my 'fics, I depict him sneaking out to get time for himself and using his laundry time to write his books. Funnily enough, Pixie World's laundromat was already established in my works even before this, because Rosencrantz works there. -> This potentially plays into the Pixies having Cosmo on their radar & Cosmo implying he met Sanderson sometime before "Pixies Inc." (i.e. he told Sanderson that if he "doesn't recognize him, it's probably the hat").

- Officially, Cosmo was designed with a 50s aesthetic. You could draw inspo by researching the 1950s. What hobbies or special events were popular?

- He's likely to have Megan Bacon trauma (a past godkid of his from "Past and the Furious"). Canonically, the past versions of Cosmo and Wanda are AWOL when Timmy looks for them in the past because they were hiding in her closet.

-> She's still alive (and fairly young) in present-day Dimmsdale, having gone on to open a notable restaurant seen in many episodes: the Cake 'N Bacon. In "Vicky Loses Her Icky," this restaurant was inexplicably across the street from Timmy's house.

-> Funnily enough, I don't think he really showed what I'd call "Vicky trauma" in the OG series, despite the fact she did mess with him. That's more of a New Wish thing, but I do think he had Megan trauma.

- In Season 5's "Hassle in the Castle," Cosmo and Wanda keep portraits of all their past godkids, including those they had poor relationships with (with these replicas of MaryAnn and Pierre specifically wanting revenge on them; MaryAnn claims they "deserted her."

Cosmo and Wanda instantly recognize MaryAnn when she's running around the castle, even though she killed Archduke Ferdinand and it's been a while since they've seen her. Even Cosmo? Who's not always the best with names? -> That said, we do know Cosmo snuck Mama Cosma into the castle in that episode and her door is down near the portraits. Him sneaking his mom in is a whole other can of worms. Also, they have Crocker's portrait in the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Infamy!

- And if you want to go all the way back to Season 0, Cosmo and Wanda claim in "The Zappys" that their godparenting career is "speckled with failures," which Cosmo seems sad to admit.

- In both the OG series and New Wish, Cosmo and Wanda have separate beds. Cosmo's is a racecar:

Hilariously, this is one of the episodes Wanda blatantly tells Cosmo she's daydreaming about Juandissimo. For all the bickering and irritation and "the ol' ball and chain" and "naggy wife" jokes... I do think it's funny that they're both completely open about having crushes on other people. Totally fair if people have a strong dislike for that part of their characterization, but I can't help but respect the sheer confidence and closeness they have to admit those things and that it won't ruin their relationship.

-> We know from "Stupid Cupid" that Cosmo finds Juandissimo hitting on Wanda annoying, but lets him flirt with Wanda because he keeps sending her food, which Cosmo eats because Wanda doesn't want.

-> Shout out to Cosmo in "Truth or Cosmoquences" when Juandissimo hit on Wanda and Cosmo instantly broke character from his façade as Britney Britney's husband and shoved himself between them... and then had to back down when Juandissimo innocently asked why he was so huffy about him merely asking for a dance with his unmarried secretary 🥺

Season 6's "Wishy Washy" gave us teen Cosmo and Wanda, where we see Cosmo with braces and a skateboard. He confirms to Timmy that at this point in his life, Wanda wasn't his type (because "he likes 'em with a little more swirl in the curl.")

I've always thought it was funny that Cosmo likes to say "swirly" when he's absentminded, like "Portals are swirly." Man's always thinkin' 'bout swirls...

I drew him and teen Anti-Cosmo once!

- After Cosmo started disguising his nose with magic ("The Boy Who Would Be Queen"), but before Anti-Cosmo chose to do the same. - Specifically, Cosmo went through a rebellious teen phase (slipping away from his mom to go play & later pick up a job at the diner, planning to buy a car himself). - Anti-Cosmo became excessively devoted to my zodiac-themed Anti-Fairy culture (He's wearing a shirt depicting the Fae zodiac & wearing bracelets to symbolize being born in the year of Water).

It's very important to me that teen Cosmo and Wanda refused to play along with Timmy until he uses reverse psychology on them by insisting they're not meant for each other. And that SNAPS them to attention... At their core, they've always had their rebellious streaks. They do not like being bossed around.

Honestly, if you're only going to pick one thing to focus on... I think the most critical detail to consider when writing Cosmo and Wanda is that they eloped without telling their parents. If you think about how they left their lives of being coddled behind for each other, you can take that anywhere.

Anti-Cosmo's backstory is pretty unknown, but you can use parts of Anti-Cosmo to build a take on Cosmo as well.

For example, Anti-Cosmo's mother might be very harsh to him since Mama Cosma coddles Cosmo. Or, you could argue his mother's completely absent from his life since Cosmo's is always around. I like to think she really wanted Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda to get married. I personally play her as both physically abusive and emotionally overbearing. Cosmo crushed on Wanda for a long time, but I really enjoy slow burn A.C./A.W. as they slowly move from being annoyed by or disgusted with each other to admiring, respecting, and loving each other. I gave Anti-Cosmo bipolar disorder (due to his extremely high-energy moments in "When Nerds Collide" (where he rapidly flies in a circle 13 times in a row while still talking... yes, I went frame by frame and counted) and "Balance of Flour" (where Anti-Cosmo was unable to sit still while in disguise and revealed himself in front of everyone by running off and laughing). In his other episodes, he's in a mild state. -> Fun Fact: Technically, Anti-Cosmo has a magical parallel of bipolar rather than what humans have, and he treats it by rubbing Fairy pheromones on his face. In-universe, Fairies consider him to have divus displacement disorder (D3) and consider him "a Fairy in an Anti-Fairy's body" while Anti-Fairies believe he was born with his soul intertwined with a nature spirit's (whom he called Clarice in his youth). A.C. has a habit of drifting near H.P., who has strong-smelling pheromones. Anyway... My Cosmo has depression - especially postpartum depression - as a parallel. He struggles with a lot of personal issues, especially regarding his magical strength (Ex: turning his dad into a fly as a baby, leading his dad to never be seen again in the series).

Here are detailed examples from the backstory I gave my Cosmo because... I like talking about him:

Cloudlands AU Cosmo - #ridspoilers

Major spoilers up to the end of where we currently are in the 130 Prompts; if you've made it to "Sentry," you've seen it

I treat "77 Secrets of the Fairly OddParents (Revealed)" as canon, meaning Cosmo's deepest secret - that he's the author of Astrophysics For Morons and several other books - is something he has ISSUES telling people about... which I tie into "Wishology"'s canon of portraying stars as ancient Fairies.

Yeah... Cosmo writing stuff that his culture hates does not go well for him in my work :'D

Cosmo struggles a lot with his love of books, hence why this is a secret for him. In Cloudlands AU canon, Fairies tend to have a brawn over brains culture and Anti-Fairies a brains over brawn one; Mama Cosma sent him to military school against his will to try to push him towards the brawn culture.

During / after the war with the Anti-Fairies ("Balance of Flour"), Fairies weren't exactly charmed by brains or Anti-Fairy culture sympathizers, and Cosmo - who used to write political commentaries and kids' books that broke culture down in easy to understand ways - became an instant target, leading us to this scene:

"Let them come for me." Cosmo raised the point of his wand against his temple. "These memories are all that I have left. Look, it's simple. You don't want my insights on politics and religion leaking any further into the world, and I don't want you in my life ever again. So if you take one step forward, I'll blast them out here and now. You can tell Adelinda that you were left to scrape my time keys off the floor." "So I am the bad guy now? We've opened the castle for refugees like you! Art, history, all the science you could ask for… The charts, the maps!" Cosmo bobbed gently up and down, but otherwise didn't move. He didn't even blink, the wand still pressed thumb-deep into his head. "Yeah, right! You've von Strangled every scrap of success I ever had out of my hands. Why would this be any different?" A scowling Jorgen shifted forward then and Cosmo threw out a hand. "No further! Or I'll wipe my memories here and now!" Jorgen braced his staff against a jutting piece of the wall, leaning beside it with folded arms. "The revolutionaries are out there hunting for those who threaten society with radical ideas, Cosmo. Your stories of gas balls and tongue lashes towards the Council are the reason you've landed in their sights. You can burn your books, but erasing private memories hurts no one but yourself. Plus, I can still take you to the Pink Castle anyway. It seems a very foolish trade you are fighting to make." Cosmo narrowed his eyes. "But when you get me behind those walls, you're going to scramble my mind up anyway, right? Because you work for the Fairy Council? At least if I blast myself, then I don't let you get to have the satisfaction…"

"Repeat"

After this point, Cosmo started erasing his memories on the regular and became a lot more unstable and unhappy with himself.

That said, I do think the war helped give him a purpose, lifting him a bit from the depression of his younger years over missing his father. He finally felt like he had something worth fighting for and was making up for the harm he caused, now out there protecting his people.

It's around this point in time that Cosmo - looking for a new career and now a smidgen more confident in himself (and looking for a new passion in life) - switched to the godparenting major, where he ended up doing a trial program with Wanda for Erg.

Erg being the godkid they claimed to have 50k years ago in an episode where they're celebrating their 10k years of being godparents, implying Erg was a special one-off case... Checks out since 50k years ago would've been well before they were married ("The Past and the Furious")

Cosmo grew increasingly infatuated with Wanda from here on out, and learning to be a godparent also kicked off his love for children.

I like to play Wanda as "better with" wish-themed playtime and adventures while little kids tend to think of Cosmo as "more fun" when they're playing with toys. He's pretty imaginative. I like to think Wanda's humor is high-brow and flies over little kid heads (Depending on their age). One of my favorite headcanons is that Cosmo owns a lot of toys and likes to leave one with each godkid. Probably a bunch of toys his mom gave him since she coddled and fawned over him so much, so he's rehoming them.

So /claps hands. We've set Cloudlands AU Cosmo up to want a baby. Can u see where this is going?

I personally treat the baby H.P. and Anti-Cosmo raised as 100% canon. I made him the counterpart of the candle model!

Here's some 2018 art, though I need to redraw / redesign now that my art skills have improved. Btw, I saw someone say they were sad this screenshot was fake, but :'D... I assure you, it's 100% real. It's in Jorgen's presentation of "Fairly Odd Baby" when he specifically uses the word "raised" to speak of Anti-Fairies and Pixies with children, and he shows this photo plus a flashing sign labeling H.P. specifically as "Bad," implying the kid has a connection to Anti-Cosmo in species, but H.P. was the real threat. I don't know why they drew H.P. with those glasses or added shading either, but it's real.

Let's talk Westley first! If you remember he's living with Blonda and showed up in "I Just Live Here..." congratulations! Poof slept in his room when he stayed with his Fairywinkle family for spring break that year.

He leans in to kiss me on both cheeks. I blink up at him, wide-eyed, and he pats my shoulder instead of ruffling my hair. Even though I have really, really ruffle-able purple hair, so I'm kind of glad he refrained (I don't like anyone but my parents and Timmy touching my hair, except I sometimes let Gary do it, and I really hate combing out the tangles). "Go back to sleep, cuginetto. We can talk more in the morning."

He was raised by Jorgen and Binky, specifically (playing into "Fairly Odd Baby" canon where Jorgen tries to take Poof from Cosmo and Wanda, telling them he'll raise him and will only let them visit him for one day every other millennium, plus Jorgen shows himself holding a baby in his slideshow presentation).

Binky dropped out of godparenting to be a stay-at-home caretaker for him on Jorgen's behalf.

Reminder: Binky and Jorgen are a gyne-drone pair. They don't live together, but they're basically in a QPR The Origin of the Pixies chapter "Inner Workings" is a good peek at their dynamic (back in the day), though H.P. refers to Binky by his surname (Abdul).

Westley is extremely bitter towards his bio parents and, while he respects Binky, doesn't particularly like him or Jorgen (or Cupid) as all three played a part in removing his chance at "a real family." He cut ties and changed his family name to Periwinkle.

AKA, before Poof was born, Westley went into modeling in Fairywood and Blonda took him under her wing. Blonda considers him a nephew

Poof looks up to him a lot names things after Westley - notably his egg baby in "Two and a Half Babies" - and that was canon in my work for years before A New Wish, sdkflj...

If I had a nickel for everyone in this family who changed their name to Periwinkle...

Frayed Knots is a 'fic about how Anti-Cosmo got to the point that he ended up with Talon - Westley's anti-fairy counterpart - and why H.P. is the one helping him raise him... Short answer? Anti-Cosmo wrecked his life for that child and a lot of people have issues with him because of it :'D But H.P. took him in...

Talon sneak peeks from late Frayed Knots!

“Yep. Talon, your dad’s out of it. Which is perfect, because that means I can do this.” H.P. clamped his hands around Talon’s waist and tossed him into the air. Talon squealed with surprise and apparent delight, and H.P. caught him when he came back down. “You are adorable. Oh yes you are, my Cú Chulainn. Yes you are.” “Again!” Talon cheered. “Nope.” There was a pat like H.P. placing small anti-fairy feet back on the floor. “One free sample per pup. If you want more services, you have to pay for them.” “Again!” H.P. sighed good-naturedly. “All right. One more time, Cú Chulainn. But, only if I can trust you to keep this our little secret.” “No! I’m going to brag to all the others that you tossed me twice. I had my fingers crossed about the promise.” “Oh, you’ve got me there,” H.P. told him in monotone. He rustled Talon’s hair with his huge hand. “Go play.” Talon trotted away, laughing. I clenched my claws deeper in the ruffled fabric. He never laughed for me like that.

Talon stomped his foot. “I don’t wanna go back with you! I want to stay here with my other dad!” H.P. and I looked at each other. Then he dropped his attention to Talon again, bending on one knee. “Talon, you’re adopted.” “Really,” I cried, “you’re starting with that?”

Also, shout-out to older Talon in Pink and Gray-

"I hate the inheritance traditions!" Talon's wings exploded behind him, flapping wildly. "It's not fair! You weren't even supposed to become High Count after Anti-Bryndin. Everyone only agreed to let you lead the Anti-Fairies because you have green eyes, but when it's me, your son, who should inherit after you, they're not going to listen, are they? They're not! You don't want me to be your heir! You only keep me around because I'm the only anti-fairy who's been born since the fairy baby mandate cut off all your other options. Or else you'd just dump me on H.P. forever so you don't have to look at me anymore and think about all your old mistakes. You want another kid because I was born with red eyes like some kind of commoner!" "Talon, enough." Anti-Cosmo swept his arm to the side. "You'll wake the hotel. Worshipers have traveled a long way to visit the Water Temple." "Look at me! Look me in these eyes and tell me it's not true!" Anti-Cosmo clenched his teeth, but didn't glance away. "I said, that's enough now. I broke the law to give you a healthy life, child. One would think you'd respect me for that." "The people," Talon snarled, stabbing a claw vaguely in the direction of Anti-Fairy World, "should accept me as your heir, no matter what color my eyes are." "I don't disagree, lad, and I don't intend to argue with you. However, you must realize that it isn't within my power to alter the expectations of an entire society." He stepped forward, fur bristling. "Bet the gossip's true! Bet you were unfaithful. Bet you had me with some hired anti-will o' the wisp for a handful of coins. Is that where I came from? Are you even my real father? Do you ever plan to tell me anything?" Anti-Cosmo tightened his grip on his wand, but regarded the furious anti-fairy with cool collection. His hand twitched, but he kept his arm low. "I will not argue with you, Talon, and I will not succumb to your goading. I am your father, Anti-Wanda is your mother, and despite your legitimacy, you did not inherit our spirit-blessed eyes. That is all you need to know, apart from the fact that if you do not hold your tongue, you will lose your inheritance tonight. Do not try my patience further." Talon simmered a moment more, then swung around and stalked away down the hall. "Telford Anti-Westley Anti-Lunifly. You have yet to be dismissed. Don't you dare turn your back on your High Count while he's trying to converse with you!" "'Trying,'" Talon said, and kept walking.

& "Health Bars"-

"What did you bring me?" Talon asks, looking up. Anti-Cosmo's eyebrows shoot into his hair. "'Bring you?' Why, I wasn't even aware you would be here tonight." Talon sticks out his tongue. "H.P. always brings me stuff when I see him." "True," I acknowledge. In my head, Anti-Cosmo's hitpoints drop into yellow. Anti-Cosmo gives the younger anti-fairy a pitying look. "Then he's spoiled you into being a selfish little brat, I'm afraid." And to me, narrow-eyed, "Thanks for that, actually." "Whoa. Hey. It's not my fault you deprive him of modern technology when he goes to stay in Anti-Fairy World. We agreed from the start: If you want to raise him Zodii, then I get to expose him to pop culture. Go ahead– ask him about memes. I've trained him well."

I just love him and my messy 'fic drama so much... Talon, my beloved.

Because this is a notable part of Anti-Cosmo's backstory - especially the conflict Anti-Cosmo and Talon have - it played into me giving Cosmo that aforementioned dream of wanting kids, which led me to scenes like:

"So, when can I meet Nixie?" Saffron frowned in the rear-view mirror. "Oh, did I not send the letter? You sounded like you'd read it over the call. You seemed fine with it." "L… letter?" "I changed my mind about adopting her out. Jorgen said he'd waive my file at the station if I trade her to him instead of you." He slammed so hard on the brakes, Saffron's glossy lip tube flew past the windshield.

"Repeat" - Cosmo's failed attempt to bring Nixie into his life... Nonetheless, he didn't give up

So... I found an episode with an interesting detail, and I really latched onto it and built my images of Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo around it. Simple enough start!

I lucked out in finding something I thought was super interesting to delve into (especially at a time no one else in the fandom had mentioned it... or at least not in 'fics tagged H.P., because I think I read all those and most if not all of the Anti-Cosmo ones available back then, at least on the sites I used, haha).

Even though I don't consider "The Fairy Beginning" canon as a whole (due to it violating too much established canon), it's still canon in my works that Cosmo stayed with his aunt and uncle for a while and lived under their stairs, which is... hoo boy.

"No, I didn't! I didn't do anything wrong!" Cosmo tightened his arms around Westley's back, beneath the baby's tiny fluttering wings. "It's not me or my fault, okay? It's just… just… Look, it wasn't supposed to happen this way!" Holding babies left him breathless, and Cosmo tried to shift his weight to hold him a little better. Westley kicked him in the chest. "I know I can't keep him, but you can't let Jorgen take him away." "Oh heavens, that's a real baby. There is a fairy baby in my house right now. I'm gonna be sick." Blonda floated backwards, one hand on her stomach and one on her mouth. The sleeve of her robe slid down to her elbow, dangling like a fish fin. She turned a full circle, pacing in the air, then swept back and grabbed him by the shoulders. "The A.B.B.'s been out for weeks. How hasn't Jorgen found you yet? Tell me you haven't been on the run alone. At least say you have another friend in the world besides my sister and me." "O-okay… Uh, we haven't been by ourselves all this time. Is that the right answer?" Blonda leaned her head back against the whitewashed wall. "Oh, Darkness devour me…" Cosmo bit his lip. "We were staying under my aunt and uncle's stairs for a while, b-but I know they're getting close…" As the breathing lines clenched up around his throat, his fingers curled into the yellow towel a little tighter. "Please, Blonda… Can we stay? And can you help me find milk without showing my face at a store? I ran out, and Jorgen wants to take him away so he can teach him to fight and bully everyone. I can't watch that happen! And… and Cupid will just throw him in a cage for the rest of his life. And I'm scared! If Jorgen takes Westley to his fort, then Anti-Cosmo will waltz straight in and waltz out with him again. A-and babies can't waltz!" "What… Where did you even find…? Babies are illegal in our subspecies without Eros consent. And the Eroses never consent outside the exhibit stock. Did you break into the Nest and take one of their kids?" "Blonda, I… couldn't just let them…"

"Repeat"

And from there, we get this art of Cosmo, Westley, and Nixie:

And this bit from "Told You So"-

"He went for milk," Florensa repeated as though in a daze. Sanderson… sighed. He replaced the silk cover on his crystal and dropped his eyes to his desk. Had his elbows always been this pointy? His arms looked thin and scrawny, barely able to hold his weight. He leaned against them anyway and brought his eyes to hers again. "Forgive me for the small talk. My question may be useful to you… Has your son experienced a major drop in energy? An increase in time spent sleeping? A lack of interest in his usual favored activities? I can't imagine he's in the most whimsical of moods right now." "How do you mean?" "Well… Last time I saw him was at Fairy Con. He floated on sagging wings, looking distressed out of his mind. H.P. had me report it. Even for a fairy, I noticed he expressed considerable emotion during Jorgen's speech. Dm. Cosma, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I think I heard your son ask if he could go back on forget-a-cin. Is this true? Pardon me if I am insensitive with this subject, but… How is he handling the separation from his kids?" There it was… cold and dark between them, like a smooth stone dropped into an unmoving pond. Florensa's blue eyes sharpened like snakeupine quills. "Those… those LEECHES under Jorgen's wing are not my son's children! That miserable SHREW forced responsibility on my precious boy! Oh, I'll wring his little blue NECK until he turns purple from it all!" Sanderson stared blankly back at her, too tired to argue. Now would have been a really good time to have his shades. Could she read his thoughts from his eyes? He tried again. "Has Cosmo spoken lately about the kids? I seem to remember he tried to disappear after Westley was born. Fairy World put out an A.B.B. It wouldn't surprise me if he still thinks about them sometimes. Perhaps he went looking for them. Or went to challenge Jorgen." If Jorgen had crushed him into oblivion with one of his mighty fists, that too might explain the shattered wand. Florensa's wings bristled up. "We don't talk about the kids at home," she snapped. "It wouldn't be good for his health! My son is… He's… he's… Well, he's been under so much stress in the workplace! You know how it is, particularly at his age. I just hope he's not been hurt." Hurt? Sanderson grimaced. It was all too easy to imagine Cosmo flattened into pancake form if he set foot anywhere near Westley or Phoenix. The pair were still the talk of Fairy World to this day. Two common fairy babies… the youngest of their subspecies. The first ones born in 370,000 years. They had to be 40 millennia by now. Jorgen bragged about them at every social opportunity, like he'd finally filled a void deep inside him that godchildren never could. And Anti-Cosmo, of course… Well, Anti-Cosmo had been elated with how things turned out. That was sarcasm. Ha ha. Ha ha. But still true, to some degree. Emotions can be hilarious. From the way he fawned over Anti-Westley (Well… "Talon") with his hands clasped against his cheek, you wouldn't think Anti-Fairy World's bachelor king actually lost his first wife over the whole affair. Or his daughters, for that matter… Anti-Saffron had taken both Anti-Miranda and Anti-Phoenix when she left him. As far as the media could guess, the High Count lived by gritting his fangs to bear it.

Aaaaaaaand this plotline in 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash! :')

"A firstborn will always have more magic than their siblings. Up to two layers of magic can wrap themselves around the core. If the child is the father's firstborn, they'll receive one extra layer, and if the child is their mother's, they'll receive two." Poof's head snaps up like a spring. His hand jolts after it. "But it's okay if they don't… right?" His question seems to catch Serena off guard. "Uh. Well, there's nothing wrong with not having the layers. Younger siblings can be equally as healthy as the firstborn. The extra magic is simply a small benefit the first receives." "Um, what happens if you're a firstborn who doesn't have extra core layers?" "Then that person isn't actually a firstborn." "… What? Are there any exceptions?" "To the firstborn bonus? I don't believe there are any. At least, I've never heard of one." Denzel keeps his head low, scratching out notes, until the silence between the two fairies drags on way too long. Uhh… He looks up again. Poof stares back at his grandmother, shock bleeding his face out to white. She hovers at the front of the room wearing the same look of confusion that Denzel himself might have shown to dancing chipmunks on a ceiling fan. "That's… not true," Poof croaks back. His voice wavers on a string. He drops his head to the desk, wrapping his stubby arms around his head. Um.

"Looking Back"

"Am I adopted?" Poof blurted, not answering the actual question. Auntie Wanda's brows shot off her head. She looked at Cosmo. Cosmo stared back at her, wide-eyed and frozen

And he laughed, throwing his arms out too the side. "Poof, do you even hear yourself? Or did you just flunk anatomy class? Only firstborns get extra core layers." "… Aren't we firstborns?" "Do… do you not know?" The mental damage Poof took after those words slammed straight into his brain a second later. Foop flinched back, gripping his hair in one fist. Poof's heartbeat spiked- hot, fast, and undeniable, because a cold cloud crashed into Foop's chest like a clenching fist. A spark of purple fire flared like a spooked rabbit in the depths of Poof's eyes. He's not joking. "Has your dad not talked to you about this?" Gary made an attempt to suggest they call it quits for the day. Foop only half heard him. "Poof," he spluttered, "what? You know my Vatajasa name is Fry-sün d'ichord. Did you think I use the title 'second child; second son' ironically!?"

"Sentry"

Finley was just, like… taunting me and saying that I'm adopted." The memory flares tears in my eyes. I sniff, sort of pathetically, and wipe my eyes on the back of my hand. "But I'm not… I'm a Cosma and a Fairywinkle." "Adopted," Big Daddy repeats. He flicks his eyes from my crown to shoes. They coast along the freckles down my sides. He shakes his head then. Firm. "You wouldn't have the gene for lateral spots if you weren't a Fairywinkle. Your pheromones match the family's too. Cherry almond. Even if yours are underdeveloped, I can sniff that on you from here. Forget about it, Poof… There's no doubt about it. My little cannoli Wanda is your mother, as sure as I'm your granddaddy."

"I Just Live Here"

😬 ... Yeaaaaaaah...... I've been planning this since 2016.

So, hmm.. I wonder why I drew this during my music meme years ago...

Yeah... Yeeeeeeaaaaah... That's rough, buddy.

Also, no matter the universe, Anti-Cosmo is notoriously bad at paying child support and consistently has a rougher relationship with Talon than H.P. does :'D

I also want to point out that when you're introducing characters and major plot points, take the time to consider how they fit into the world and play off other characters! Talon and Westley influence a ton of people, including Anti-Cosmo, H.P., Anti-Wanda, Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, Foop, Blonda, Big Daddy, Jorgen, Binky, Cupid, Sanderson, each other... etc. And all this from two photos of two characters who were onscreen for mere seconds, several seasons apart, and don't have speaking lines or even animation...

The big follow-up & "tying loose ends" 'fic for Poof's "Am I adopted?" anxiety is the upcoming Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pixies - named after a song Wanda wrote, according to "77 Secrets of The Fairly OddParents (Revealed)."

It's Poof POV and parallels Foop's war POV in "You'll Never Know." I'm looking forward to posting it, but it's massive and - despite everything this post covers - still contains a lot of major Frayed Knots spoilers related to Cosmo's trauma that we didn't even touch on here, so... it's my baby. Huge personal favorite, though <3

The night before you sent this Ask, I actually sketched potential animatic panels for the Big Fish song "Showdown," even though I don't plan to make an actual animatic. It's been on my Poof inspo playlist for YEARS and was haunting me...

btw, if you like this song... I'm not telling you to do anything, but I AM telling you the songs for this musical regularly disappear from YouTube and have been on and off for many years

Cosmo Wrap-Up

So... [inhales].

When it comes to writing a fan portrayal of a character, there's no replacing doing your own personal study, whatever that means to you - watching episodes, reading 'fics, studying other people's analyses - as you strain out your own version of him.

I think backstory is a really good jumping point for deciding what kinds of things you want to do with Cosmo, and how it ties into how he acts in canon.

Obviously, there's a lot going on in Cloud!Cosmo's backstory... and this despite the fact he's one of the characters I rarely put onscreen. He's one of those "characters who haunt the narrative" for me.

... I barely touched on Nixie drama in this post, but if you can guess where THAT'S going... congratulations! It's been heavily foreshadowed in my lore since the start and is super messed-up :'D.

Frayed Knots, my cruel beloved...

My Cosmo is super specific, and the many intricate layers at play here definitely influence how I write him. Which is a fantastic jumping off point for me if I ever get stuck.

Key points that come from the backstory I've given him include:

- Cosmo growing up without a lot of life experience, so he looks to others for advice. This can easily lead him to trouble if he follows the wrong crowd. - Tension between Cosmo and Mama Cosma, especially in regards to her being annoyed at Wanda and wanting Cosmo to marry someone who's "better for him" - Cosmo doesn't give up easily & is willing to take matters into his own hands. However, he does have his breaking point and massive amounts of trauma and anxiety, which he covers by wiping memories from his head - Cosmo is overprotective of his car because it's one of the only things in his life that's exclusively his and which he has control over (Setting us up for drama in "Repeat" when Poof panics about how he crashed the car... which spirals Poof into his vegan lifestyle, where he punishes himself by cutting meat from his diet despite being a carnivore, so that's a whole thing) - Cosmo is smart in a very specific way related to the stars, cars, energy, electricity, and the Fairy baby ban history... things that aren't necessarily common for godkids to ask about. Also, some random smarts leak through his fractured memories - Cosmo struggling with self-hatred because "he used to be smarter" and gets upset he can't remember things well - Cosmo in hiding (Ex: Only pays with cash to avoid being traced; I have an upcoming scene where he starts panicking about how he's slow and holding up the line and Poof steps in to help) - Cosmo's memory problems (Regularly on forget-a-cin) - Cosmo being clingy towards Wanda and/or struggling to make friends and trust others (especially in academia) - Cosmo's postpartum depression (Struggles with snappiness, loneliness, and fear that Poof doesn't like him) - Cosmo and Wanda having their second kid (Dusty) very early compared to the usual distance between siblings in Fairy society - Cosmo desperate to soak up time with his kids / godkids (Leading him to grant Timmy's secret wish to freeze time - Canon event) - Cosmo and Wanda being really anxious about Poof's relationship with Goldie, who comes from a species known for "tempting drakes away from their parents to join harems" (à la "Opinion" when they try to discourage Poof from dating her) -> And the change of heart Cosmo and Wanda have later in "All I Ever Wanted" when they tell Poof they support him and don't want him to elope and cut them from his life like they cut their parents. -> And Cosmo being extremely "dad" and gentle with Poof in that piece when Poof has his anxiety attack - Cosmo will absolutely have a breakdown if you ask him directly about Westley or Nixie, which is why he and Wanda are waiting until Poof is older to bring it up.

Actually, here's a scene about that last one!

“My friends said I’m not a firstborn because I don’t have the extra magic layers around my core. Am I really your first kid?” My dad screamed. No words, just a scream. I jerked back, and he whirled around and slammed his hand into the wall. It slid down, and he went with it in a shaking mess on the floor. Mom took my elbow and guided me from the room, promising we’d talk later after she made sure he was all right. I hovered in the next room, hands clapped to my mouth, not sure what to do. That evening, Mama came to find me. “Poof-” “I don’t want to know,” I blurted, plugging my ears. I clenched my eyes shut. “Just tell me I’m a weirdo who was born without the extra layers. If I’m not your first, I don’t want to know.”

Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pixies

:'D ...

[Laughs in Frayed Knots] - Cosmo honey, you've got a big storm comin'...

For anyone wanting to write Cosmo, I suggest finding some moments from the show (OG series, New Wish, whatever) that you find interesting and want to delve into (or that you use to define your personal view of Cosmo- Who he is; what you like about him).

You might end up wanting to write a backstory 'fic, and if you don't, at least you'll have a good idea of what you envision his story being like, which can shape creative interpretation of his character.

A loose outline, thought web, or note sheet might be helpful- I usually make Tumblr posts or write one-shots to work through my thoughts.

Obviously, a lot of the stuff I listed above are things the series never delves into. I like the freedom of making stuff up for Cosmo, exploring what makes him tick in my own way, but there's nothing wrong with keeping it simple like "Well, my Cosmo was a small town kid who didn't really leave home until he fell in with Wanda."

Whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be interesting! Feel free to tag me when you post your 'fic so I can check it out <3

Other Cosmo writing resources:

- My brief bio of Cosmo

- Let's Talk Cosmo - Early character study

- My "Cosmo can be a tricky character to write" video clips + my analysis of them (I always meant to do one of these for other characters, but never got around to it~)

- Personal analysis on Cosmo's depression - I write Anti-Cosmo with bipolar disorder and this has been an interesting parallel.

-> Cosmo's postpartum depression is particularly fun for me and was glimpsed in "Repeat" flashbacks where he was hiding emotions from Wanda & working through his "Why would the baby like me if I don't even like me?" struggles. I always wanted to make its own 'fic about it, but it was very depressing, so I stopped :'D whodathunk...

- I like this scene in "I Dream of Cosmo" where Cosmo is trying to pull the reins in on Timmy's Dad :)

- I also like this scene from "Desperate Without Housewives," which takes place in Season 9 (after Jorgen stops wiping Crocker's memories in Season 7*. In this scene, now that Crocker's memory isn't wiped anymore, Cosmo blatantly outs himself as a fairy and Crocker just :|

* very heavily implied; my interpretation of the ending is that Jorgen actively exposed Crocker's relatives to Fairies to power the Big Wand and why would he erase Crocker's memory if he's doing that, but it's not technically confirmed... However, the episodes after this do seem to depict Crocker extremely sure of Timmy's fairies, no longer theorizing, and Kevin... also seems to have some memory immunity? Unclear, but if Cosmo was acting Like That in "Chip Off the Old Crock" because he was trying to pull the same joke with Kevin he pulled with Denzel, that's flippin' hilarious. But Timmy's Dad doesn't know and I like to think Crocker is covering for Cosmo in front of him in this scene when he nervously laughs Cosmo's comment off

Characters I Find Tricky to Write

I'll try to keep this section short since this post got out of hand, but thanks for asking!

I do think Cosmo is very hard to write. I'd probably say he's the most difficult for me. I can talk all I want about what I think his character IS, but that doesn't mean I know what to make him SAY in any given scene- especially considering I tend to write drama stories, and that's not a good playing field for him (He's better with adventure or romance or humor).

Secret knowledge I have from a close study of Cosmo I did once upon a time - he favors long sentences, not choppy ones. I feel like it's easy to default to "This character doesn't have deep thoughts, so I'll just have them say something quick and random." I'm sure Cosmo has his fair share of short comments, but recognizing his long sentences changed something for me. Made me think more carefully about how specific he's going to be.

I think he worked great in "Repeat" when he was the POV character and had to move things along - he had no choice & his internal dialogue was able to cover for the characterization his dialogue couldn't - but I don't do well when he's a side character and I need him to "say something funny" to sound like Cosmo.

Not one of my favorites to write, but that's because I like making characters clash and have long conversations about complicated topics. Cosmo isn't necessarily a fun one for that, or to see get in an emotionally heated situation with. I think he'd just leave... ... but I liked "Repeat" when he COULDN'T leave us, so we were privy to all the secrets he wouldn't say.

You might be surprised, but I genuinely like writing Anti-Cosmo long and rambly- I get to do this in Frayed Knots (which is a completely unique narration tone from Origin of the Pixies, which is informative but blunt).

I especially liked Reedfilter Rules Chapter 2, when he uses some VERY heavy (as in flowery) and long-winded language for his internal commentary. Sadly... a lot of people aren't fans of reading that kind of thing :'D And I do not blame them... but I enjoyed it.

That chapter took YEARS of on and off attention to finalize because I wanted him to be perfect before I locked myself into a certain style for the rest of the AU, but honestly... I'm not sure I can - or should bother to - mimic that for future chapters.

idk. I think it's fun, but my goal was to write RR!Anti-Cosmo's internal narration distinct from Clouds!Anti-Cosmo's, and I think I succeeded. Just not sure if it's worth doing twice to that extreme.

One of the comments Frayed Knots tends to get is that it's exhausting... not only for length of its own merit, but also because Anti-Cosmo rambles about worldbuilding and it can make readers free pressured to retain the info and/or it just confuses or bores them. And I totally get that...

... but also, I cannot emphasize enough that Knots' style is like that on purpose. Have you met this man? He SHOULD be bothering you- he's REALLY annoying and he talks a lot. And also, if you get lost along the way, I think he'd find that amusing and would do it more. lmao. get wrecked.

/whispers loudly - His whole thing is that his mom and stepdad think he's annoying and they're not especially nice to him - in fact, they both outright abuse him - and they don't really feel bad about it because he is just THAT bothersome, which is why he falls in with people like H.P., Blonda, and Anti-Wanda - who "just get him" - down the line. Hilariously, Wanda does not have patience for him... as much as he has a crush on her and wishes she did.

Sorry to everyone who takes his longwindedness as clumsy, frustrating writing. You're correct, but so am I. If I have to sit here in his annoying head for 8 years of writing this 'fic, you have to sit here with me <3

Genuinely though, rambling is A.C.'s thing and I like doing that in his other POV stories, like "Yellow Flower Number 9" (linked below). He literally stops shopping to dump his woes on a cashier and I think that's very fitting for him. Man loves his monologues...

I write a lot of H.P.-Anti-Cosmo interactions, but because I strive for canon-compliancy, I can't allow H.P. to call him by his "A.C." nickname until he canonically gives it to him in "Fairly Odd Baby" (A.C. seems surprised by the nickname, but says he likes it).

- You wouldn't think it would matter, but the amount of times I've had to sigh and fix a draft with the nickname is not 5. - Compare with "Yellow Flower Number 9," where he calls him A.C. like 4 times in 20 minutes, lol.

Hmm, hardest character... Ooh, I think it's Jorgen. I really like how I wrote him in "Whatever," specifically here-

Jorgen's hand shot forward. He grabbed Juan in his fist and squeezed until the fairy shrieked and started spitting pleas. Then Jorgen jerked his hand over to Seneca. She flinched back. "I am not here to wait around and answer all your pathetically obvious questions. That is what he is for. You can ask him. As for me, I have two appendixes to separate and a great deal of paperwork to do." He dropped Juan to the floor, then crashed his walking stick (Star staff, sun staff) down too. The force of it sent a shockwave across the clinic.

- but I'm extremely self-conscious of him in general. I don't use him much.

Oh, Chloe takes a ton of attention. She has a super specific speech pattern of using contractions to start her many, many follow-up sentences to her thoughts (She builds on her thoughts and elaborates in a series of addendums).

She speaks her mind and is kind of "deadpan snark" about it, but in a happy way. She also has very weird phrasings. Fascinating.

I wrote about her speech pattern HERE, but she's unique for sure. I'm quite pleased with how I wrote her in "This Is a Box."

I also think Vicky can be tricky to balance realism with what a threat she is... particularly if you're trying not to lampshade the consequences of her actions (although the show does). I look forward to writing her in combination with Dale especially. I have free reign to push Dale way past where I can realistically push Timmy without Timmy reacting, so I think that might be fun.

I had a lot of fun writing Trixie in Chapter 4 of Come What May, when Kevin meets her at Shirley's Pizzeria (and I enjoyed Tad, Chad, and Veronica both in that chapter and the previous). Kevin meeting the popular kids was one of my favorite topics in general :)

I struggle with Kevin flipping from high energy to extremely self-deprecating. I tend to play him as dead inside, which I do think is accurate, but I do think Come What May is missing the humor that comes from being the guy who kicks down a door yelling "Yo, yo, you! Crockmeister in the hizzy!" or answers his phone with "This is the Crockmeister; crock to me!"

I'd love to finish this 'fic, but it always feels depressing to me :'D I was going for "quirky middle grade adventure," but I ended up with gloom and creepiness. Idk what to do to make it fun and I hesitate to touch it if it might bring me down, so I procrastinate.

I think I need to practice my Mark Chang voice to make him more fun and quirky instead of stating plain facts.

Also, for the longest time, I felt kind of guilty that I write Anti-Cosmo as an overly anxious loser when (afaik), most of the fandom don't consider that even close to their vision, so I felt like I was bashing on their favorite even though I was genuinely trying to write him the way I see him, but... sldkfj. vindicated!!

Thank you New Wish for reminding me he really is that much of a cringefail loserboy <3

No matter what happens with the series from this point on... "Battle of Big Wand" Anti-Cosmo, you will always be famous to me.

54 notes · View notes

soft-pine · 2 months ago

Text

i believe it's what you would call a tragedy

hello tomorrow is november 19th. and i need to reserve that day for fix-its and talking about how dean is extremely, aggressively, flamboyantly alive.

but i do want to talk about the supernatural finale. content notes for discussion of Dean's death and mentions of abuse and sexual assault.

i've rewatched 15.20 as much as some of my very favorite episodes of supernatural. it compels me. it enrages me. it astounds me. every fiber of my being screams that it cannot possibly be that stupid, that hollow, that cruel. and every time it is - and more.

i watch it in part because i think somewhere i truly, truly believe that this time it will be different. that this time i will have loved dean enough to save him. that if do good enough analysis that shows, really shows, how sad, how wrong it is, that somehow it will re-form itself. maybe not into something good. but i can imagine something... different.

instead, every time i watch i'm hit with more and more little moments, little details, little callbacks or parallels or revelations that crack me open so i always have this hole inside of me where 15.20 sits and rots the flesh around it.

but here i go wanting to unpack it again. maybe cause of the sisyphean reasons above. maybe for the same reasons i want to unpack every aspect of dean's relationship with john. maybe because they are actually inextricably linked. dean and john and 1.20 and 15.20.

i started watching supernatural on may 23rd, 2021, knowing full well dean was going to die.

so i looked at his beautiful doe eyes in s1 and thought "they are going to kill you" and ached. i looked at his private, chaotic grief in s2 and thought "they are going to kill you." i looked at his self-sacrifice and self-worth in s3 and thought "they are going to kill you." i watched him stumble on resurrected bambi legs in s4 and thought "they are going to kill you." i watched his protective defiance in s5 and thought "they are going to kill you." i saw his patience, hope, and worry in s6 and thought "they are going to kill you." i saw his exhausted, brittle husk in s7 and thought "they are going to kill you." i marveled at the mix of resignation and rawness in s8 and thought "they are going to kill you." i choked on the self-loathing in s9, thinking "they are going to kill you." in s10 i heard dean say both that he didn't want to die and that he knew he'd have to and thought "they are going to kill you." s11, beloved s11, that opens with some of the most down-to-earth moments and ends in some of the most cosmic. dean saves the world by talking and listening and explaining how to forgive and i thought "they are going to kill you." in s12, i watched him struggle as his mother unwittingly repeated the patterns of his father and struggle to bite his tongue and i thought "they are going to kill you." i watched the s13 speedrun of all his worst fears and thought "they are going to kill you." s14 again mixes the visceral and the cosmic. dean strips michael's clothes off his back. he welds himself a magic coffin. he talks about reading mommy blogs and i listened and thought "they are going to kill you." in s15 i watched him proved right about everything he'd ever said about god and wanting to be free. i watched him win. and i thought "they are going to kill you. now."

i knew it was coming all along and i thought i would be ready for it. instead, i sobbed in the car on the way to work for two weeks. i sometimes still do. you will always end up here.

i think in every supernatural circle that's worth even a moment of my time, 15.20 is considered a tragedy (or not considered at all). and so much has been said already. so i'm not going to rehash that killing a character who constantly said he wanted out of the life of violence he was forced into is a tragedy. i'm not going to belabor the twisted knife of killing someone who was so frequently suicidal. i'm not going to go on about how the last time cas was dead dean didn't feel like there was anything to live for and was fine suicidally throwing his life away on a routine hunt and the chance he could save a couple trapped ghosts. i'm not going to wax about the job application. i'm not going to unravel - at length - that they had to kill dean because he loved cas and they couldn't let him live long enough to say it. and though i'm not a chuck won truther, i would never pretend i don't see the math.

but i think one of the issues with having watched the finale so many times, is i notice all the little things. there is so much extra-episodic context that makes 15.20 a godawful, crushing, devastating mess. but i'm always torn over which kills me more because some of the intra-episode parallels and details feel so specifically, acutely cruel.

for example, why would they have dean say, "but if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing" and then literally kill him 10 minutes later?

why is there a scene emphasizing the mercy of a quick death compared to the pain and anguish of long-drawn out suffering...

DEAN: You see, this... This is quick. It's clean. You know, no muss, no fuss. You blink, and you're dead. SAM: But a blade this small... I'm gonna have to keep sawing and sawing to get your head off, and you'll feel it. Every muscle, tendon, every inch. It could take hours.

if we about about to watch dean bleed out for 8 minutes?

why did sam pie him??

why did they have dean say "you never took any of dad's crap" and then four minutes later send him to "heaven" just down the street from john?

speaking of, let's look at dean's face upon hearing his dad's "got a place over yonder" versus after "well, cas helped."

and that brings us to the other themes the finale. because while the intra-episode moments feel cruel and pointed, it is the way it ties off the rest of the show that makes it a tragedy.

i've said before that it's eerie how well dean's speech in faith would fit into the finale. well, let's look at some other lines that show dean never thought he deserved anything different than dying on some random hunt.

1.12 faith

Look, Sammy, what can I say, man, it's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw.

2.04 children shouldn't play with dead things

I never should've come back, Sam. It wasn't natural. And now look what's come of it. I was dead. And I should have stayed dead.

2.22 all hell breaks loose part 2

I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good could come out of it, you know? I--I--It's like my life could mean something.

5.17 99 problems

Look, I have no illusions, okay? I know the life that I live, I know how that’s gonna end for me. Whatever. I’m okay with that.

6.06 you can't handle the truth

It's the gig. You're covered in blood until you're covered in your own blood. Half the time, you're about to die. Like right now.

8.14 trial and error

I'm a grunt, Sam. You're not. You've always been the brains of this operation. And you told me yourself that you see a way out. You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know – it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me – that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life – become a man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and – and – and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra – that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get.

10.07 girls girls girls

Now, the truth is... I'm past saving. I know how my story ends. It's at the edge of a blade or the barrel of a gun.

10.16 paint it black

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it.

15.20 carry on

You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right?

1.12 faith, once again

that is his attitude for so long. but notice the gap between season 10 and season 15? i'm not at all saying he full abandoned the attitude that all he was good for was dying on a hunt. but in 10.17 he also says, "there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time." in 13.23 he's talking about retiring if he knows the world is safe. in 14.13, he says "I have a family." he says, "I'm good with who I am."

in 15.18, when he thinks he's going to lose a huge part of that family, he says "She's gonna get through that door. And she's gonna kill you, and then she's gonna kill me." and although cas did eventually end up in heaven as well, they very much did kill cas and then kill dean.

and if in the finale after dean dies, the way they showed sam grieving dean was blearily shutting off his alarm at 8 and sleepily getting out of a messy bed and sadly petting miracle, then why.... why did the episode open with dean doing the exact same things if not to show he was grieving.

it reminds me of another thing that happens in canton ohio in november: elliott ness telling dean, "Boo-hoo. Cry me a river, ya nancy. Tell me, are all hunters as soft as you in the future?" and then he continues...

this is maybe one of the smaller little connective gut punches. but there are so many of those.

like why was dean forced to kill lee by impaling him against a wooden pilar if 13 episodes later...

like why is the episode called "carry on"?

like remembering 15.10 when dean says, "Yeah, it’s just how I wanted to die – with a freakin audience."

like when you look at the supernatural wiki transcripts page, it looks like this:

like the parallels between the hunt in faith that dean almost dies on and the hunt in 15.20

like despite all the times he said he knew this was coming, the moment when dean turns away from sam and says, "Well, I did not think this would be the day."

like even if he was trying to be a little silly, we know how he described the funeral he imagined for himself in 11.23. and even in 15.20 there were so many people still alive who loved him and yet only one person is there to grieve him...

like this exchange from 1.20

JOHN: Once a vampire has your scent, it's for life. DEAN: Well. what the hell do we do now? JOHN: You gotta find the nearest funeral home, that's what.

of course john means for dean to go get dead man's blood so he can watch dean play bait while he waits with sam and tipped crossbow bolts. of course he doesn't mean a vampire will get your scent and you're dead so go pick out a coffin. he doesn't mean that; it's only that getting the colt to avenge mary is more important to him than the risk that a vampire might pick up their scent and, oh let's say, one day track them down and kill them.

like the theme of vampires being specifically sexually predatory toward dean (kate kissing him in 1.20, boris assaulting him in 6.05, starr playing with him in 10.08 - not to mention the framing of gordon in 3.07 and desmond in 8.09 drinking his blood). the way jenny stalks over him as he's pinned to the ground in 15.20 doesn't break from this pattern at all. and i hate the layering of violences. i hate that this is who kills him.

like some of dean's first words in the pilot being "It's okay, Sammy." and some of his last being, "tell me that it's okay." over. and over.

like maybe i could handle it being a tragedy if it felt like it was meant to land that way (i still wouldn't be able to, for the record)

like that he wanted rice crispy treats for his next birthday.

like that chuck, even human powerless chuck, outlived him.

like that john lived longer than him too.

and so of course we end up here. with john. i do think we must concede that dean dying on one of john's unfinished hunts - in fact on two unfinished hunts - could not be more cruel. when you can defeat god and escape and his plan for your life but not your own father...

and the thing about the first unfinished hunt with the masked vampires is that john was working it in 1986. the vampires, "target[ed] families that are living outside of town, that are isolated, kids usually between the ages of 5 and 10." the thing is in 1986, dean was 7. was that the first time john used dean as bait, i don't know. but it could have easily been is the thing.

1.20 sets up 15.20 in so many ways. the episode where vampires are introduced. where jenny (though unnamed) is introduced. the episode where you see exactly what dean meant about sam "never taking any of dad's crap." meanwhile in 1.21, when dean starts to push back against john, john says he's "not too crazy about this new tone."

in 1.20 john sets dean up to be bait while he and sam wait in the shadows. in 15.20 dean needles and distracts jenny while he waits for sam to pick up his machete. it recalls 1.20: "you know what to do." it recalls 1.02: "you thinkin what i'm thinkin." like the most common footpath worn into old stone stairs.

the last main theme i want to talk about is parentification. i know i'm not the only one who felt betrayed by sam sorrowful acceptance of dean's death. there's grief, yes. but there's something so profoundly unsettling about basically back-to-back watching dean trying to resign himself to his impending death. and in 15.18, cas' response to that being that he won't let dean die. meanwhile in 15.20, sam's response is to -

but then it clicked for me.

it's because on some deep level, beginning to some extent when sam was less than a year old, dean became in a lot of ways, his parent. and parents are supposed to die before you, right? so sam can be sad. he can grieve. but it's not a grief at the injustice of it - not grief at dean's unfinished life or his early death. sam always knew he would outlive dean.

because if this is not setting in stone the parentification that happened to dean, then why is sam telling dean "you can go now" paralleled only a few minutes later with dean jr later saying the same to sam?

and if not to swing the parentification as a cudgel against my knees, why is every speech dean makes before he thinks he's going to die focused on making sure sam's going to be okay. right up until the very end.

3.16 no rest for the wicked

Keep fighting. Take care of my wheels. Sam, remember what Dad taught you... okay? And remember what I taught you.

9.23 do you believe in miracles

Sam. Hold up. Hold up. I got to say something to you. I'm proud of us.

11.23 alpha and omega

Listen, if—when—when this works, Sam—he's gonna be a mess. So look out for him, okay? Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

14.12 prophet and loss

I know I wasn’t always the greatest brother to you.... I know things got dicey… you know, with dad… the way he was. And I just… I didn’t always look out for you the way that I should’ve. I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit....

15.20 carry on

I'm fading pretty... I'm fading pretty quick, so... there's a few things that I need you to hear. Come here. Let me look at you. Yeah, there he is. I'm so proud of you, Sam. You know that? I've always looked up to you. Man, when we were kids, you were so damn smar... smart. You never... You never took any of dad's crap. I never knew how you did that. And you're stronger than me. You always have been...

1.12 faith, once again and again and always

DEAN: Hey, you better take care of that car. Or, I swear, I'll haunt your ass. SAM: I don't think that's funny. DEAN: Oh, come on, it's a little funny.

i think about 27 year old dean lying in that hospital bed. and i think about 41 year old dean hanging on that beam in the barn and just thinking you know, he did it. looking at sam and being proud. cause dean knows enough about horror movies to see sam as the final girl. sam made it. dean was always gonna make sure he did. he understands it enough to know he's dying so sam doesn't have to. sam can go on and live a life and have his survivor credits montage and dean's like, yeah, this is how it's supposed to go.

dean knew it was never gonna be him.

AND THAT'S WHOLE GODDAMN REASON IT FUCKING SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

he should have gotten to outlive the god who tried to write his story and he should have gotten to outgrow always putting his life behind his brother's (and everyone else's) and he should have survived the deadly path his father forced him onto and he should have gotten to live a long and beautiful gay life in the world he loved so deeply.

and you should be able to watch goddamn supernatural without seeing him be declared dead in 1.06 and feeling the pit in your stomach and without watching 3.11 and going well that's just not funny and without watching fucking 5.07 and going well now that's the oldest he ever got.

anyway, this whole episode fucking destroys me. here's dean as the ten of swords.

and here's to us saving him. lady, he's tolstoy

#dean studies #cn deans death #cn 1520 #supernatural #15.20 #carry on #spn meta #john won truthing #and on transgender day of remembrance eve also #how dare #a tragedy is a tragedy is a tragedy #the ten of swords marks a painful end #but not The End

35 notes · View notes

grimeshound · 20 days ago

Text

SCOUT’S HONOR.

word count: 2,292

pairing: rick grimes x negan smith

summary: the one where rick shows off a skill he learnt in the boy scouts, to negan’s amusement.

warnings: 18+, dirty talk, praise kink, degradation kink, oral sex (m receiving), creampie.

a/n: finally uploading my first ao3 work onto tumblr ^_^ this takes place around season 8/9 but i physically cant put a photo of s9 rick without laughing… love him but not his best look i fear

ill most likely use tumblr mainly for casual blurbs or short ideas not long enough for fics, but i wanted to upload this to get the ball rolling. hope you enjoy!

—-

Time blurred in the cell. Minutes bled into days, days into weeks, weeks into months. Negan Smith, the once-feared leader of the Saviors, had been stripped of his grandeur piece by piece. Life in the Sanctuary had kept him on his feet—always something to fix, someone to intimidate, something that demanded his attention. But prison was a complete 180, he was bored out of his goddamn mind. And just when he thought he’d go crazy, like some twisted prayer had been answered, the cell door swung open.

The sheriff strode down the steps, hips swaying with a deliberate, steady rhythm that had Negan’s ears perking up at the echoed sound of booted footsteps filling the prison cell walls. Rick’s expression was closed off, unreadable as he came to a halt just beyond the bars.

“Well, well,” Negan grinned, “Looks like Christmas came early. Missed me that much, Rick?”

Rick’s deadpan expression didn’t waver. “You can’t taunt me anymore, Negan. You’ll be stuck in that cell for the rest of your life. Your days are over.”

“So, you came here to taunt me, huh?” Negan drawled, slumped against the wall with one hand clutching his chest in mock agony. “Wanted to gloat a little, feel better about yourself? And here I was thinkin’ you actually missed me, prick. I’m hurt.”

Rick sighed, the irritation building with every one of Negan’s quips. “I came because I need you. We need directions to a Savior outpost up north.”

Negan’s face lit up as he pushed himself to his feet. Though the height difference between him and Rick was barely noticeable, the space between them always felt charged, like Negan was somehow towering over him. He stepped forward, pressing himself against the steel bars, closing as much distance as the barrier would allow as he slung his arms across the bars, hand inches away from Rick’s face.

“I can finally die a happy man now, hearin’ the great Rick Grimes sayin’ those words.” Negan mimicked Rick’s drawl, his voice dropping low. “I need you.” His tone was husky, his mocking imitation sending an involuntary shiver down Rick’s spine.

Rick had managed to grow somewhat used to Negan’s childish nature, the relentless teasing never seeming to die down. Even when the older was confined in prison. It was impressive, really. Ignoring the taunt, Rick grabbed his keys, stepping inside the cell as the door creaked open. Negan’s expression turned gleeful, an amused glint in his eye.

“Finally givin’ in, huh? Knew this day would co—”

Negan’s words came to a sudden halt as Rick grabbed him by the collar, slamming him back against the cold concrete wall, pinning him there with the weight of his body. “You’re coming with us,” Rick growled, his voice low as he leaned close, the words brushing against Negan’s ear. “And you’ll lead us to that outpost.”

Negan’s eyes flicked back, catching Rick’s intense gaze as he felt a rope loop around his wrists, binding his hands securely. A smirk played on Negan’s lips as he recognized the knot. “Real kinky, Ricky. A bowline knot, huh? Takes me back. They taught me that shit in Boy Scouts, you know.”

Even restrained, Negan’s mouth kept running, his taunts flowing without fail. Rick couldn’t resist a jab back. “I find it hard to imagine you as a Boy Scout,” he remarked, adjusting the knot and squinting as his eyes adjusted to the dim cell. “Oh, I was,” Negan huffed, grinning as he felt the pull of the rope. “Bet you were a real cute Boy Scout yourself, huh? Goody two-shoes Grimes.”

Rick felt a dry chuckle slip out before he could stop it, hoping Negan hadn’t noticed. But by the way Negan’s grin widened, he knew he had. But Negan only smirked, letting his eyes roam up and down Rick’s body, defiance in his eyes.

“Ricky,” he practically purred, “you can keep playing leader all you want. But, if only your people knew. If they saw you the way I see you...”

Rick’s brow quirked despite himself, curiosity flaring before he could tamp it down. He hated it, hated the intrigue that pricked at the back of his mind, that questioning look now painted across his face. Rick didn’t need to ask however, as Negan finished his train of thought.

“Like a whore ,” Negan breathed.

Rick’s mouth went dry, his pulse thundering in his chest. His mind flashed back to every brutal fight they’d had, all the times they’d wrestled each other to the ground—Rick on top, fists swinging as Negan laughed beneath him, their faces inches apart. He’d blamed the feeling that twisted in his stomach on adrenaline, on the thrill of the fight. But now, standing here, that mask of denial crumbled. He saw it for what it truly was. Lust .

Negan’s gaze locked onto him, a knowing glint in his eyes. Hands restrained with the bowline-knot, yet he still manages to have the upper hand. He couldn’t help the arrogant smirk that crept onto his expression. “Just give in, prick. You want it just as bad as I do. Maybe even more.”

Negan pressed in, closing the scant space left between them, eyes trailing over Rick with a predatory gleam. He leaned down, pressing his nose to Rick’s neck. The sheriff’s breath hitched, his chest rising and falling as he felt Negan’s warm breath grazing his skin. Slowly, Negan began tracing kisses down Rick’s neck, letting his lips press against the sheriff’s skin. Rick’s hand moved up almost involuntarily, fingers tangling into Negan’s hair, once pure jet black now streaked with strands of gray.

Despite his cocky front, Negan couldn’t hide the desperation that lingered underneath. Cooped up in his cell, starved for touch, every brush of Rick’s fingers sent sparks across his skin. He’d wanted Rick since the moment he’d seen him at the lineup; now, finally, he had him, and it felt like ecstasy.

The air around them was charged, heavy with something undeniable. Even without his signature leather jacket, replaced now by a worn, navy-blue button-up, Negan still carried that distinct scent. Woodsy, with a hint of leather— that intoxicating scent that quickly filled Rick’s senses, overriding everything else. Rick let out a shaky breath as Negan’s tongue traced his neck, letting himself sink into that heady scent.

“Negan, please… need you,” Rick stammered, voice low and breathless. Negan’s hungry gaze locked onto him, something dark and primal flaring in his eyes. “Yeah, baby? Go on, then. You can have me.” That was all Rick needed to hear. He tightened his grip on Negan’s hair, pulling him in for a kiss that was deeper, more intense than any he’d shared before. It wasn’t like any kiss he’d ever had—not with Lori, not with anyone. This was something else. Something that changed him in a way he could never come back from

Caught in their haze, Rick managed to push Negan back onto the cot, the savior’s hands still bound behind him. Negan raised an eyebrow, biting back a wolfish smirk as Rick knelt down, fumbling with his belt.

“Look at you, Rick. So damn eager .” Negan’s voice was thick with amusement.

“Will you ever shut up?” Rick shot back, cheeks flushed, realizing he was on his knees between his rival’s legs—Negan Smith, the man he’d fought so hard against, and the man he’d come to feel so much for. His hands moved down, pulling Negan’s boxers down and wrapping his hands around Negan’s cock. Rick pumped his hand a few times before lowering his mouth. The brunette quickly realized that that was easier said than done, as he couldn’t help but gag loudly, tightly gripping Negan’s thighs as a low groan escaped the man above him. He was fucking big .

“Just like that… Always such a good boy for me…” Negan moaned, chest rising and falling as Rick struggled to take it all in. Rick, always a fast learner, began bobbing his head. The obscene sounds bouncing off the walls of the cell.

“Goddamn, Rick… suckin’ my dick like it’s what you were made to do. So good for me, huh, baby?”

Rick’s tear-filled eyes looked up at Negan, lips swollen and eyes glistening. Negan swore he could’ve cum from that sight alone. Rick, gazing up at him with that heartbreakingly sad expression, his brows knit as tears threatened to fall, brunette curls bouncing with each movement.

“Keep goin’, just like that, M’gonna cum in that pretty little mouth of yours…” Negan moaned. But just as he felt himself teetering over the edge, Rick pulled back, a trail of saliva connecting his lips to Negan. Precum still glistened at the tip, and Negan’s face twisted with frustration.

“Shit, this some kinda punishment? Payback for all the crap I put your group through?” Negan tilted his head, watching as Rick began unbuckling his own belt, pushing his slacks down just enough to give Negan access. “Want you inside of me,” Rick muttered, cheeks flushed as he settled on Negan’s lap, aligning himself

Negan’s smirk softened, a glint of satisfaction in his eyes. The sheriff, Rick Grimes—his rival, and the man he wanted most, was now here, on his lap. Rick was an amateur, clearly, but that only made this more intimate. Negan felt a wave of pride knowing he’d be Rick’s first—and last.

Rick took a breath, sliding down onto Negan’s cock, biting his lip at the stretch. The sting was sharp and Rick’s pace was slow, easing himself to adjust to the length of it all. Negan only watched, eyes hooded with lust.

“ Ffffuck… so damn good, baby. Takin’ it like a pro,” Negan sighed, as Rick’s movements became smoother, pain slowly turning to pleasure.

“Shit, hurts like hell…” Rick groaned, his eyes squeezed shut.

Negan leaned forward, kissing Rick’s neck softly, cooing, “Doin’ so good, baby… takin’ my dick like a good boy.”

And with that, Rick’s pained groans shifted into desperate, needy moans. Wrapping his arms around Negan’s neck, he rode the older harder, both of their moans reverberating off of the cell walls. Without warning, Negan bucked his hips up, meeting Rick’s hips with his own as he bottomed out, pounding harder with each motion.

“And what would your little Alexandrians say, seein’ their fearless leader like this, huh? Gettin’ fucked senseless like a bitch in heat?” Negan taunted, lips curled into a devilish grin. “Keep this up Ricky, and I might just knock you up.”

Rick’s eyes flew open, wide with arousal and disbelief, his cheeks red as he clawed at Negan’s chest, feeling himself reaching the edge. He’d never felt so damn full in his life. The feeling of Negan pistoning in and out of him at a breakneck pace was driving Rick mad. “F-Fuck, Negan… I… wanna cum, please…”

Negan’s grin softened, his voice low and rough. “That’s it, Rick… You’re such a good boy…” He pulled him in for a soft kiss, an action that would’ve been deemed wholesome if not for the way Negan was fucking into him like a madman. “Beg me.”

Rick looked back at the taller man like he’d lost his damn mind, eyes wide. “Wh-“

“I said, fucking beg me, or I’ll leave you here. On the floor all fucked out like a cheap whore for your people to find.”

“P-Please.. Please let me, Negan- Need to cum, need you-“ Rick mewled, babbling on dumbly, feeling light-headed from the relentless pace Negan had set.

“C’mon, baby. Cum for me.”

That was all it took. Rick’s climax washed over him, his moans filling the cell. As waves of pleasure rode over him, Rick steadied himself as best he could, hands tightly grasped on Negan’s broad shoulders as he began riding Negan harder. Rick looked at him, eyes low-lidded, light-headed and dizzy from the pleasure. The sheriff managed to rasp out, voice hoarse from all the obscene noises that have been escaping past his parted lips.

“Please, Negan.. inside, cum inside me. ”

Just like that, Negan felt that familiar twist in his stomach as came inside of Rick, the hot liquid quickly filling the brunette up to the brim as tears threatened to fall from Rick’s eyes. Panting from the climax, Rick slumped against Negan’s chest, head resting on his shoulder as his breathing steadied. Negan’s hand rubbed circles on his back, soothing him. “Did so good, baby. M’impressed.”

“The… the outpost…” Rick mumbled, still dazed.

Then, realization dawned on him. Negan’s hand was on his back. And as he looked closer, he realized—Negan’s hands were free. The rope, once bound tightly in a bowline knot, lay discarded on the cot. Stumbling back, Rick’s legs wobbled as he struggled to his feet, staring at Negan.

Negan gave a cheeky grin. “Careful there. Don’t want you fallin’ over.”

“The knot… You—” Rick started, realization dawning.

Negan laughed. “Knots weren’t your strong suit in Boy Scouts, huh? Not gettin’ any badges any time soon. Don’t worry, nothin’ to be ashamed of.”

Rick glared, but he couldn’t hide the dazed look in his eyes.

Negan smirked, standing up and placing a hand on Rick’s shoulder, holding his gaze. “I’ll lead you to the outpost. On one condition—you let me out of here.” He extended his hand, and after a pause, Rick nodded, dumbfounded, too rattled to refuse.

Negan handed Rick the discarded rope, watching him with satisfaction as Rick’s mind raced. What would the Alexandrians think if they knew? What if someone had heard them? Panic flickered across his face. Luckily for Rick, Negan knows the younger man better than the back of his hand. Ripping from his thoughts, Negan leaned in, whispering into Rick’s ear.

“Relax, Rick. I won’t tattle. Scout’s honor.”

#negan smith #rick grimes #the walking dead #twd #fanfic #rick x negan #regan #negick #twd fic

46 notes · View notes

ninja-confession-go · 2 months ago

Note

I don't know if this has been discussed before, but the direction they've taken Zane's character always makes me a bit... sad? Zane was my absolute favorite character from the start, I even purchased that one old ass book from the pilots about him when it published. His characterization from S1-S3 was solid and consistent. I related to him greatly, and despite him being a nindroid, he was treated as just another person. Which is important for the message they where conveying at the time- that just because someone acts different, or is 'othered' doesn't mean you can strip them of their humanity. Of course, I was ecstatic that they brought him back after S3. But since then his character was never treated the same. More often than not he was the brunt of jokes that directly dehumanize him and they used his status as a nindroid to make him have quirks he previously didn't have just for the sake of comedy. Zane started to feel useless to me in terms of his contributions to the team and show.

Now, it wasn't that bad before March of the Oni, and don't EVEN get me started on how Zane says he deletes traumatic memories :(- which sure, it could be an explanation for the dramatic personality shifts he has. We got more of the original Zane in S8-S9, but right after that? He was a shell of his character. Ever since he became titanium, he was different, you can't simply die and come back without something changing. But I feel like they used that as an excuse to mold Zane into a role that they need for each subplot which makes him change his fundamentals at a moments notice. He's not consistent. At all. He's whimsical one moment, completely robotic the next, sasses people and understands sarcasm one moment, and completely derails everything due to him being a 'robot' the next. If it was a more linear transition, it'd be great. But they retcon everything about him every two seconds. It makes me sad, I guess. He could've been a much more solid, interesting character, if they made him stick to who he was more, y'know? So now he's no longer my favorite despite little me thinking he'd always be my favorite.

This is NOT a 'I miss the old ninja' post, by the way, just how they've written Zane as a whole is lacking. This isn't limited to Zane at all either, but he makes me the most sad. I could talk all day about Zane. But yeah, sorry for the long post!

#ninjago #ninjago confessions blog #preach anon #preach...

38 notes · View notes

daryl-dixon-daydreams · 10 months ago

Text

Words: 9,001 (yeah, she's a beast!) Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: Alexandria S9, post-Negan war, before the bridge Warnings: language (duh, it’s me), violence (no sexual violence), injuries to main character, blood, some kind of dark Saviors shit (not like line-up level dark but kinda fucked), mild angst, Protective!Daryl, hurt/comfort Summary: The war is over, but it isn't all peaches and cream. The Sanctuary struggles to function and Daryl and Y/N struggle with ghosts of their pasts after Rick asks them to take things over there. Deciding they've had enough, they decide to depart for Hilltop but Y/N stays behind for a couple days to help Carol get started taking over. The past comes back to rear its ugly head... A/N: This is an epilogue to the Sacrifice series, but you don't necessarily have to have read all 29 previous parts to appreciate it (though you def should!) [Spoilers (or reminders) for context start here -> -> -> The war is over, Y/N was once one of Negan's wives in order to protect her brother, she went back to Negan to break Daryl out of the Sanctuary, Daryl ends up shooting Negan to protect Y/N when a plan of theirs goes awry and the war ends, Y/N was also shot in the process but survived]

_ _ _ _ _ _

You and Daryl stood off to the side, watching the group of people gather around Rick, flooding the open space on the Sanctuary’s factory floor. You gently touched him on the arm and his blue eyes landed on your face. “Are you going to talk to him tonight?”

Daryl nodded. “Yeah. I gotta. I can’t—we can’t stay here any longer. I dun want you here either. Bein’ in here, in these walls again, it feels like it’s slowly poisonin’ us…” He glanced at the fresh graffiti someone had sprayed on the wall. We’re still Negan. Saviors Save Us

Your hand slipped down his forearm and you laced your fingers with his. “I know. It’s the right decision.”

“Yeah,” he mused. “Ain’t sure Rick’s gonna agree though…”

“Rick isn’t the one here dealing with all these people, reliving everything every day. It’s too much,” you said. Daryl nodded in agreement.

“Yeah…” Just then, Rick finished talking to the gathered group and there was a smattering of applause and murmuring. You gave Daryl’s hand a gentle squeeze as Rick wandered over. “Good luck,” you murmured.

Soon, various business that needed to be discussed was concluded and the already dim torch and lantern lights on the Sanctuary factory floor were all but put out. Daryl and Rick retreated up to the catwalk.

As they stood side-by-side, looking down at the shadowy, rundown building below them, Daryl sighed heavily and Rick could feel the tension between them. Rick broke the silence first. “So, what’s going on?” he asked.

Daryl gulped and straightened up, looking his friend in the eye. “I don't wanna be the one leadin’ these people anymore.”

Rick’s expression was impassive. “Okay... Why?”

“Bein' here, behind these walls again... It just don't feel right, man. I'm better out there. I always have been. And I’ve got Y/N to think about. After what happened to her in here—with him—”

Rick sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Things happened to you in here too,” Rick said, perhaps realizing for the first time what he’d really asked of his friend, his brother…

“Yeah, well I care more about her than I care about myself. This is where her life was a livin’ fuckin’ nightmare. His wife…” he murmured under his breath. “She wasn’t his wife. She was his damn property. Her brother died here. He destroyed her group just like he destroyed ours. What d’ya think this place reminds both of us of?” He asked, turning sharp eyes to Rick. “Hmm? Did ya even think ‘bout that when ya asked me to come back here? Didya stop to think that ya might be askin’ us to relive some of the worst shit we’ve ever gone through?”

Rick hung his head for a moment, clasping his hands together. A wash of guilt and shame came over him. He hadn’t considered the full extent of it, no. But there was no one else to do the job and so he’d asked too much of Daryl, too much of you. “But you and Y/N have kept this place together. You’ve kept people in line here. We can't just let the Sanctuary fail after everything that's happened,” he said.

Daryl shook his head and paced a small, agitated circle. “Man, s’gonna fail anyway. Nothin’ grows here. It's a damn factory, man. Look, when Negan was around, he needed people to provide for him. It's still the same. Nothin's changed,” Daryl argued.

“It's different now. We give what we give willingly,” Rick retorted.

“And how long's that gonna last? Most of the bridges are out after the big storm. The highway's done. We've scavenged every drop of gas for miles. And we can't make enough corn fuel to run the cars or the trucks. Pretty soon, it's gonna be more than a day's ride from one spot to another.”

“Well, it's on us to figure out how to make it work,” Rick said, leaning forward on the rail again.

“Man, there ain't no ‘us’ anymore. Everyone's everywhere,” he pointed out. “I feel lucky that Y/N and I are even in the same damn place.” He let out another weighty sigh. “That small group we had back in the beginning... plus a few more of the people we picked up along the way, we could do anythin’. That was right. That’s what I know.” Daryl leaned forward beside Rick, chewing on his bottom lip in that signature way.

“Well, you wanna come home to Alexandria, then?” Rick asked. “You and Y/N?”

Daryl shook his head. “No. We'll go back to Hilltop, check on Maggie and the baby.”

“Well, you go, someone's got to take your place here. Rosita and Eugene are headed to Oceanside next. Maggie's sending food, but not people, and Kingdom's got its own problems rebuilding after losing its fighters. If Alexandria sends another person out, I could use the help back home.”

Daryl only let out a small huff.

“We're not together because things have changed,” Rick said again.

Daryl stiffened. “Mm-hmm,” he hummed. His blue eyes turned to Rick again and they were intense. “The thing is, you changed ‘em, Rick.” The tension felt hot and pulsating in the air like liquid mercury. He patted his friend on the shoulder. “But I get it.” And then Daryl took his leave.

On the staircase, Carol backed away as quietly as she could, only to be startled by your voice softly behind her. “Well, that didn’t go great,” you whispered.

Carol turned to face you, her face drawn. “Daryl is right though. Rick shouldn’t have asked that of the two of you after—after everything you went through here. And he should have known Daryl would have a hard time saying no to him.”

You nodded and straightened up, stepping toward her. “Rick’s his brother,” you agreed. “And there really was no one else. But Daryl’s right. We can’t stay here anymore. It’s—it’s wearing him thin.”

“And you?” Carol asked, worried.

You gave her a tight smile and shrugged. But when you spoke again your voice broke. “I’d almost rather be anywhere else…”

Carol nodded knowingly and then grabbed you into a hug. “I’m sorry,” she said. her mind drifted back to her own abuse at the hands of Ed and she felt a swell of affection for you and for Daryl, for both of you taking this on at all after everything… When she pulled back, she cleared her throat, pushing her emotion away. “I’ll—I’ll take over here a while. You and Daryl need to get out. I want to help.”

“Carol—”

“Don’t argue with me. My mind’s made up,” she said firmly.

You nodded. “Okay. Thank you,” you said. “I’m—I’m gonna go talk to Rick,” you said. “Make him understand.”

Carol nodded. “I’ll check on Daryl. Let him know what I’m thinking.”

“Okay. Good idea… Hey—Carol. This is—what you’re doing to help, it’s huge for us. So, thank you.”

She gave you a warm smile and you passed her on your way up the stairs to find Rick. He was still leaning heavily on the railing, clearly in deep thought over his discussion with Daryl. But he turned at the sound of your steps on the metal catwalk and straightened up when he saw you.

“Hey,” you greeted him stopping beside him and also looking down over the factory floor. No one was milling around anymore. Most people had drifted away to bed. “You okay?” you asked, giving him a knowing, sideways glance.

Rick laughed a little wryly and nodded. “Yeah… Just—tryin’ to figure out if and where I went wrong,” he said, clasping his hands together. “Things I’d do differently now…”

You nodded. “You have a lot of weight on your shoulders. Daryl knows that.”

Rick met your eyes again, clearly realizing you’d overhead their conversation somehow.

You straightened up and tilted your head toward the hallway down the catwalk. “Follow me. I want to show you something.”

Rick followed you as you stopped to grab a lantern and then led him down the hallway. This part of the building was mostly empty these days, except for a few people who had carved out some private spaces for themselves. The warm orange glow flickered past many doors and other halls before you turned right and came partially down the next corridor. The nauseous feeling and the heavy pit in your stomach grew as you walked, and before you knew it, your hand was trembling slightly holding the lantern. This place was full of ghosts.

Rick looked at you with concern. “Are you okay?” he asked. The tremble in your hand translated to a shakiness in the shadows cast by the light on the walls and it was easy to see.

“We’re almost there,” you said softly.

You walked in further silence for only another half a minute before you stopped in front of a gaping dark space in the wall, barely bigger than a closet. Rick gave you a questioning look and you lifted the lantern to illuminate it. The floor was filthy with layers of smeared dirt and who-knows what else. “This is where they held us. Me, when my brother and I were captured, and Negan singled me out from my group. And Daryl after the line-up with Alexandria.”

Rick stared at the dirty, dingy space and he could almost see Daryl huddled there in his mind’s eye, wearing that filthy sweatshirt. His brow furrowed and his face contorted.

You pulled in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Your head felt a bit light and foggy. “I—I had the doors that used to be on the cells removed, because—I just couldn’t stand the sight of them closed up like that. I kept—kept imagining Daryl was still in there every time I had to walk past. Or that somehow, I was going to end up back in there.” You glanced over at Rick who was staring straight into the darkness. He watched as you raised your free hand to rub at your bad shoulder, the one Negan’s bullet had pierced. “They took all his clothes at first. Left him in there naked. Cold. Shot. Hungry. Wondering what happened to the rest of you. And the thirst… Then, Dwight humiliated him and they fed him dog food and blasted music to keep him awake. The same song, over and over. Then, they made him work outside in the heat and humidity in that filthy sweatsuit, chaining walkers to the fence for Negan or doing whatever awful chores they could invent. He had to clean up after Negan punished someone, mopping up shit or piss or worse… Dwight made him look at pictures of—of what happened to Glenn and Abraham.” Tears burned in your eyes and Rick’s shut and he dropped his head.

He lifted a hand to wave you off. “I—I understand,” he said in a low voice, his heart breaking. He’d been careless to ask Daryl to come here, too focused on his beautiful dream in the memory of Carl to realize what this would do to you and to Daryl.

“He didn’t want to say no to you when you asked him to come back here. You’re like a brother to him. He didn’t want to let you down even though—it’s literally the last place either of us wants to be.”

Rick sighed heavily and rubbed his hand over his mouth and chin. “I don’t have an excuse… I—I shouldn’t have asked it. Of either of you… I just—I was tryin’ to make this all work.”

You nodded. “I know. So does Daryl. But that doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been… We’ve both been reliving our trauma having to be back here. And we’ve hit our limit. That’s all.”

Rick met your eyes again. You hadn’t even talked about yourself, about what you’d been through here in the cell and with Negan after, not really. You’d mainly focused on Daryl. But Rick could guess well enough what it would have been like for you being one of Negan’s wives and living in that constant fear for your brother and yourself, what you’d had to subject yourself to.

He glanced again at that dark space in the wall. “We’ll figure something out.”

“Carol said she’ll take over here for a while,” you said, turning away from the cell and starting back the way you came.

Rick looked surprised but nodded, walking along beside you.

“I’ll—I’ll stay a couple days to get her going here and up to speed. And then I’ll go meet Daryl in Hilltop.”

“Alright,” Rick nodded. “It’ll have to work for now. But I can’t help thinking it’s a patch on the issue and not a fix.”

You laughed wryly again. “Aren’t most things these days? Rick, Daryl wasn’t wrong about The Sanctuary. It’s a resource sink. It doesn’t produce anything. You’re still going to have to square with that one day. I get what you have been trying to do, making peace with the rest of The Saviors, and not all of them are guilty of the awful things that happened during the war. But things are still festering here under the surface.”

Rick looked over at you, concerned. “What do you mean?”

You shrugged, about ready to part ways with him on the catwalk again. “You saw the graffiti. Negan might be dead but for some of them, it’s not over.” You gave him one last look. “Daryl and I know you have a lot on your plate, but it’s time for us to get the hell outta here. If we don’t… this place will consume us. We can’t move away from what happened while we’re here. It’s like—it’s like having it shoved down our throats every day.”

You took your leave from Rick then, leaving him again in deep thought. You knew where you could find Daryl, at a spot outside he liked to go where most people wouldn’t be able to disturb him. It happened to be someplace the two of you sometimes went to watch the stars. When you got there, stepping just one foot outside the building, you had to smile to yourself. Daryl and Carol were just sitting together, side-by-side, enjoying a moment after being apart for so long. You decided to leave them to it.

You made your way back to the room you and Daryl had claimed together in a different part of The Sanctuary. You hastily changed your clothes and got ready for bed, knowing he’d come find you there when he was ready. And it wasn’t long before he did, coming in to see you already cozied up in the bed you shared, reading a worn paperback.

You smiled as he came in. “Hi,” you said.

He stopped in the doorway and took you in, giving you a small smile back. “Hey. Sorry I wasn’t here earlier,” Daryl drawled, sinking down beside you on the mattress. “I was out sittin’ with Carol.”

“It’s alright. I know you were. I didn’t want to interrupt,” you said, reaching for a strand of his wavy hair and running your fingers down it gently. “You haven’t seen each other for a while.”

“Yeah,” he said, pulling off his boots. “Get this. Ezekiel asked her to marry him,” he said, giving you a conspiratorial look.

You pushed yourself up on the palm of your hand. “Oh my God!” you burst out.

“Yeah,” he chuckled.

“Well? What did she say?!”

“Ah… She ain’t ready yet,” Daryl explained.

“Wow.” You thought of Carol and Ezekiel together after the close call at the museum. They were good for each other. “Maybe someday?” you asked.

Daryl nodded. “Mhm.” His hand came to rest on the graceful curve of your neck. It was cool from the nighttime air. He leaned in and kissed you softly, pulling back just slightly to study the colors in your irises. “Listen—I told Rick—”

“Yeah, I know,” you interrupted him gently. “I could hear the two of you. And Carol talked to me too. She’s gonna take over here for a while.”

Daryl nodded. “Yeah. So, we can go. We dun have to be here anymore. Figured we can head to Hilltop tomorrow. Check on Maggie and Hershel.”

You nodded and then ducked your eyes. “I’m—I’m gonna stay here with Carol for just a couple more days. Help her get started and settled. Then I can meet you. I’ll take one of the horses.”

Daryl’s brow furrowed. You could see that he was getting ready to argue.

“It’s just a few more days,” you whispered, gently grabbing onto the front of his vest. “It’s the least I can do since she’s doing this for us, leaving her family and world in The Kingdom.”

Daryl’s stomach churned a little, leaving him feeling slightly nauseous. “She’ll have Eugene,” he pointed out.

“Barely. He and Rosita are heading to Oceanside next to get the fishery going.”

Daryl sighed heavily and moved back to sit on the edge of the bed, his shoulders slightly slumped. He was chewing on his bottom lip. You knelt behind him and draped yourself against his back, looping your arms around his neck and burying your face in the curtain of his wavy hair, breathing him in and leaving a kiss on his neck. “It’s just a couple days,” you said again.

He gulped. He didn’t know why, but there was a pit in his stomach. “I dunno…” he mused aloud. “I dun like ya bein’ here without me. Here of all damn places.” His mind went back to that graffiti sprayed on the wall.

“I know. I don’t either. But I want to help Carol as a thank you. And then I’ll come straight to Hilltop.” You moved around to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. “Hey—Look at me,” you urged him. “I can handle myself. Or did you forget?” you teased him, bumping into his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”

“I know ya can handle yerself. It ain’t that… Somethin’ just—I dunno. Somethin’ dun feel righ’.”

You sighed and nodded knowingly. “It’s never felt right being here.”

“Yeah… maybe tha’s just it. I dunno,” he said finally, but you noted that he still looked slightly troubled. It had been a long day, and his talk with Rick was intense. He stood up and started getting ready to climb in bed with you. You watched the muscles in his back ripple, crisscrossed by his scars, as he pulled off his shirt. You crawled back beneath the sheets and waited until he slipped in beside you.

“C’mere,” he murmured softly to you as he settled into his pillow. You moved into him immediately and he pulled you against him. You tangled your legs with his and gazed into his bright blue eyes. He draped an arm over you and his hand moved to find the hem of your t-shirt before slipping underneath it and pressing against your bare skin, tracing absent patterns on your side, your hip, your back. Daryl leaned in and kissed you, one that was deep and full of wanting.

You felt a pooling of heat expanding in your chest as his lips moved to your neck. Daryl listened to your breathing hitch as he kissed your pulse point and grazed the shell of your ear. His hands wandered over the shape of you beneath the draping of your shirt. In no time, the two of you were completely lost in each other, melting into sensations and quiet gasps of pleasure, bounding hearts and heaving chests, skin on skin. Daryl’s fingers laced between yours, his other hand firm on your hip. Then, after you both reached your blissful highs, you fell asleep in his arms and neither of you woke until the sun was coming up.

_ _ _ _ _ _

You walked with Daryl to his bike and stood beside him as he strapped down his gear, giving him a smile when he looked up at you again.

“Are ya sure ‘bout this? Ya dun have to stay. Carol will be fine,” he said in a low voice. That pit in his stomach had returned almost immediately when he awoke and thought about separating from you.

You gently rested your hands on his sides, stepping in close. “Everything is going to be fine. Go help Maggie. Check on her and Hershel. I’ll see you soon. Okay?”

He looked worried, but nodded. “S’yer call. Two days,” he drawled.

You nodded. “Two days. I promise.”

“Alrigh’…” He leaned in and kissed you deeply, clasping your face and pressing his other hand into the small of your back to pull your body flush against his. You kissed him back heatedly and hungrily and sighed when you broke apart.

“Miss ya already,” he said, breaking contact with you and getting ready to climb onto his bike.

“Same,” you agreed, giving him a tight smile. “Love you,” you added, waiting until the last moment of separating to unlace your fingers from his.

He nodded and studied you, drinking in the view. “You too.”

Then, in a spray of gravel and a cloud of dust he was on his way. You didn’t see him glance back at you over his shoulder before he completely lost sight of The Sanctuary.

You found Carol already on the factory floor standing with Eugene, looking over whatever list of action items were on his clipboard that day. You were absently rubbing your bad shoulder as you came up. It had been aching since the day before. Had revisiting the cell stirred things up? Probably. Carol noticed immediately.

“You okay? Shoulder bothering you?” she asked.

You nodded. “Just a little. The old war wound acting up a bit,” you said with a wry laugh.

Eugene looked up from his clipboard. “I could potentially formulate a topical balm that may relieve some of your chronic pain symptoms, though most ingredients would not sufficiently penetrate the muscle in order to reach the origin of—”

You cut him off with a smile and a laugh. “It’s okay, Eugene. I’m fine. It’s not too bad. What do we need to tackle today?”

The three of you chatted briefly about what needed to be done urgently and then each picked your tasks to start with. Several hours later, you were nearly done trying to treat the small number of plants that were still surviving in the raised garden beds for some kind of insect pest when you were interrupted.

You turned at the sound of footsteps to see one of the Sanctuary residents approaching. You stood and dusted the soil from your gloves. “Hi. What’s up?”

“The guys getting that scrap metal from the upper floors found a water leak. Can you come take a look at it? We might be able to fix it, but we’d probably have to shut the water off completely for a while.”

You sighed heavily and pulled off your gloves. “Always something new, isn’t it?” you said dryly. “Yeah, I’ll come take a look now. Lead the way.”

You passed through the factory floor, noting that the graffiti discovered the day before had been freshly painted over as Daryl had demanded. Carol and Eugene were bent over a table in deep discussion over some new plan. Your stomach flipped as it always did as you passed the oven where Negan used to heat his iron or branding rods. You turned your eyes away.

Soon you were on the upper floors, walking through the dim hallways. It always felt eerily quiet up there. The resident you were following pointed ahead to the next doorway and then stopped to grab some work gloves from a pile of gear set in the hallway. You passed him and stopped in the doorway, expecting to see the group of other people working, but the room was empty. And there was no sign of a water leak. The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. “Hey, are you sure this is—”

And then everything went black.

Carol was walking somewhat aimlessly back and forth across the factory floor, weaving through the supplies and little bunched groups of people. She craned her neck trying to see if she could spot you anywhere. The two of you had planned to meet for the evening meal after everyone was done for the day but Carol was suddenly realizing she hadn’t seen you since that morning.

Her stomach began to churn. She bolted toward outside where evening was beginning to fall. The garden beds cast long, deep shadows between them, but she didn’t find you crouched among them. The final place she checked was the room you shared with Daryl, now mainly bare of your items since the two of you had begun packing your belongings to leave. Daryl had already taken his few things away on his bike.

There was no sign of you.

Her heart started to pound. She’d questioned everyone she could think of as to your whereabouts. Where could you possibly be? An anxious thought flitted into her mind. Her stomach tightened into a fist. It wasn’t like you not to arrive somewhere you said you would…

The last thing to do was to search the rarely used upper floors. She knew a crew had been working up there earlier in the day, collecting and hauling scrap metal to be reused to patch the roof and fences. Perhaps something had come up and you were still up there assisting with a problem.

Her boots made a lonely, echoing sound as she rushed around corner after corner. There was a weighty silence and the farther up she wandered, the sicker she felt. Something was seriously wrong. She could feel it in her bones. She called your name out but it strangely didn’t seem to pierce the thick vapor of silence in front of her. Every step increased her heart rate and poured adrenaline into her bloodstream. She felt almost shaky as she loosened her knife in its sheath. Just in case, she thought. In case of what?

Another minute or two passed as she searched. Each moment felt excruciatingly long. And then all of a sudden, her breath caught in her throat. “Oh my God. Y/N!” Carol bolted toward the crumpled form halfway down the hall in front of her. “Oh, God…” The front of your shirt was soaked with blood and you were lying on the cold floor unconscious. Your face was bruised and swollen. There were cuts and smears of blood on your skin. But what held her attention horrifically was that whoever had done this to you had taken a knife and began to carve a word into your chest, just below your collar bone. SA and part of a V. Carol didn’t need to guess what they’d intended to spell. They were making a gruesome point. Her hands shook as they hovered over you for a moment. She said your name again and then gently clasped your face and gripped your arm. She jostled you a little. “Wake up. It’s Carol! Please, wake up!”

You began to stir a little and a grimace contorted your features.

“Oh, thank God,” Carol sighed, hanging her head in relief for a very brief moment before the nausea seemed to rise into her throat again at your condition. “Y/N? Open your eyes, hun!”

You let out a small pained noise and then your eyes did open blearily. You were immediately trying to sit up, pushing yourself up on the palms of your hands but your head felt split in two and your muscles felt rubbery and weak. “Fuck,” you murmured.

“Whoa—okay. Easy! Take it easy!”

You reached up and touched the back of your head. It was swollen with a lump and tender and your fingers came away slightly sticky. You looked down at them and registered the deep color of drying blood. Your chest burned. You looked down to see that the whole front of your shirt was stained crimson. Your body ached and panged with sharp pains. You could feel your heartbeat in your face.

“Is anything broken? Can you stand up?” Carol asked, her brow heavy over her eyes, but the light inside frantic and quickly turning furious.

“I don’t think anything is broken,” you said softly. Your jaw ached. You gave it an exploratory wiggle left and right and immediately regretted it. Your bottom lip was split and swollen. You winced again. “What the fuck?” you murmured. “I mean what the ever-loving, royal fuck?” you growled. The hot rage welling up in you was pushing some of the pain back.

“Let’s just get you up and off the floor, okay? Slowly.” Carol helped you to your feet. Your head swam and you squeezed your eyes shut, not letting go of her hands for a long moment until you felt steadier. Her expression said enough about what you must look like… “What happened? Do you know who did this to you?” she asked.

You shook your head a little, absently pressing a hand to the burning sensation on your chest, but you stopped as the burn surged when your palm landed flush on your skin. You took in a sharp intake of breath through your teeth. “No. Well—I saw one of them… they lured me up here. Told me there was a water leak they found while doing the scrapping and—and then someone hit me on the head from behind and I was knocked out. But I don’t know why. I mean, why me?”

Carol’s expression was taught. Anger swirled in her eyes. She knew exactly why. You couldn’t see it yet, but the word was partially carved into your chest. That graffiti on the wall out on the factory floor was just the tip of the iceberg. Things were rotting here just under the surface, and since you’d once been Negan’s wife, she imagined you were a perfect target for those who wanted to make a point. “Let me see the back of your head,” she said. There was a small split in the skin where you’d been struck, your hair stained rusty red, but she didn’t think you’d need stitches there and she was extremely relieved that it wasn’t worse... not much anyone could do from something like a skull fracture in the apocalypse. She sighed heavily as another flame of rage wicked upwards in her chest. “Okay… Let’s get you back to your room. Hold onto my arm. Can you make it?”

You nodded, gripping her to steady yourself on your shaky legs, and allowed her to lead you away. You glanced back over your shoulder and were sickened to see the smears of your blood shockingly deep red on the tile behind you.

_ _ _ _ _ _

Carol had you sitting on the edge of your bed and she set down a first aid kit beside you. You were looking up at her from behind a wall of swelling and bruising on your face. You tenderly wiggled your jaw again, testing opening and closing your mouth. It felt ready to lock up. She could tell from the way you’d moved on the walk back and how you were slumped slightly forward now that there was probably substantial bruising beneath your clothes that she couldn’t see. Your movements were tentative and cautious.

You hadn’t looked in the mirror yet. You were afraid to. The pain was bad enough. The fogginess in your head was bad enough. You were worried if you saw the results of the beating, it would only make it worse, more real.

Carol began unpacking supplies. “Tell me everything you remember,” she said gently.

You shook your head. “Not much. Like I said, I was out working in the raised garden beds and somebody came up to me.”

“Who?” Carol pressed you. “If you don’t know their name, what did they look like?”

“Uhh… his name starts with a ‘G’ I think… Give me a second.” You filed through names in your head until you got the right one. “Graham. I think that’s it… He’s tall. Long black hair past his shoulders.”

“Okay,” Carol nodded, opening an alcohol swab. “What did he say exactly?”

“He asked if I could come look at a leak they found while they were moving all the scrap metal. He said they thought they could fix it but they’d have to turn the water off. I went to see and I was barely in the doorway of the room he pointed out. There wasn’t a water leak. I was just standing there, about to say something and—something hit the back of my head. I don’t really remember anything after that. Some foggy pain maybe but… mostly nothing.”

“Do you think there were others waiting up there? Or could it have just been him?” Carol asked, dabbing at a wound on the side of your face. You shut your eyes from the fumes of the alcohol. She was starting to worry about just how many traitors could be in the walls.

“There was at least one other person. When I got hit, I was looking back at him ten feet away from me down the hall.”

Carol sighed heavily and nodded. “Okay.” Her eyes drifted down to the cruelly carved letters on your chest. Your chin tilted down as you tried to look but her hand on your shoulder stopped you. “Hold on,” she said. Her face contorted with emotion she was trying to hold back. “Better you see this now. I’m so sorry.”

You gave her a perplexed look. You knew you were beat up but what was she—

Carol grabbed the small mirror off the little sink in the corner and held it up so you could see yourself for the first time. Initially, all you saw was the swelling and bruising on your face but then your breath caught in your throat. S-A- and part of a V, cut into your skin. The cuts were deep and she had already had to apply some butterfly bandages to hold certain spots closed. No wonder your skin had burned and stung there since you came back to consciousness.

You felt like you were about to be sick and Carol must have seen you pale because she hastily put down the mirror and gripped your shoulders again as if she was afraid you were going to faint. “Whoa. Deep breaths.”

Your eyes shut and you did your best to swallow down the nausea. “What the fuck,” you muttered, reeling. You blinked away angry tears.

“I’m so sorry,” she said again. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get you cleaned up and then I think I have some of my special ointment in my bag. If you apply it at least once a day it’ll minimize any scarring…”

You let out a wry laugh. “Minimize,” you repeated. “But I’ll still have half of ‘Saviors’ carved into me for the rest of my life.” Tears burned in your eyes again. It wasn’t bad enough what you had gone through with Negan, with his men, with the war—now this? Would it ever be over?

Carol winced. “I’m so sorry… I had no idea things were this bad here.”

You sniffled and mopped gently at the tears that had broken out onto your cheeks. “I knew they were pretty bad but—can’t say I saw anything like this coming.”

“Well, who could? It’s—horrific.” She gave you a sympathetic look and then surprised you by pulling you gently into a hug for a long moment. Her eyes were teary now too when she pulled back, but she pulled herself together quickly. Back to business, she returned to the first aid kit and continued her ministrations. Your mind was endlessly turning.

“I wonder why they didn’t finish,” you suddenly said softly.

“Mmm,” Carol hummed, nodding, tossing down another soiled gauze pad and reaching for a new one. “They must have gotten interrupted. Maybe heard someone in that part of the building.”

Your eyes lifted and met hers. She paused at the expression on your face. “Do you think they were going to kill me? Leave me there with—with this cut into me to make a statement?”

Carol’s mouth dropped open and she shook her head. “I don’t—I don’t know,” she said, trying to keep her tone flat. Your question had been asked matter-of-factly and Carol was suddenly reminded of all you had gone through in the war and even before any of them had met you, when you’d just been a stranger with a mysterious backstory. “But obviously they knew they couldn’t take you in a fair fight. Fucking cowards,” she growled. “Had to ambush you to even have a chance.”

You sighed, shaking your head again, your eyes dropping to your hands. “They sure beat the shit out of me though,” you mused aloud. “It’s probably good Daryl isn’t here. He’d lose it,” you said, fiddling with another gauze pad which Carol took out of your hands and taped down over the now cleaned cuts below your collarbone.

She cleared her throat. “About that…”

You met her blue eyes again. “You radioed him? He’s probably way out of range by now. He’s probably already in Hilltop,” you said.

“Rosita rode out on the quad immediately to get within range. Eugene is doing a headcount as we speak to see who, if anyone, is missing…”

Another wry laugh left you and you nodded. “That’s why you took so long. And I just thought you couldn’t find the damn kit,” you said, shooting her a look, tears burning in your eyes. “Daryl is gonna go on a rampage,” you said softly.

Carol nodded. “Probably. But he should be here with you. And if I didn’t radio him, I’d be on the receiving end of that rampage. And I think we should focus it on the assholes that did this to you instead.”

You nodded and a sob tried to burst out of you. You suppressed it as best you could and it came out as a hitched breath. “Yeah,” you said, your voice a little strained.

Carol quickly grabbed you into a hug again. “Everything is going to be okay. Daryl will be here soon and we will figure this out.”

You hugged her back and nodded into her shoulder, grateful again for your found family.

_ _ _ _ _ _

Daryl was there in an hour, stomping through The Sanctuary with Eugene at his heels, mostly ignoring the stream of words out of the mullet-headed Texan’s mouth. Rosita finally grabbed Eugene’s arm and stopped him, clearly realizing Daryl wasn’t hearing a word of it, didn’t give a shit about anything but going to see you. He was at the door of the little room the two of you had shared before anyone could come to tell you he’d arrived.

Daryl froze and made himself knock lightly, rather than barely in. The last thing he wanted was to startle you. His stomach turned as he waited to hear your voice on the other side, inviting him in. “S’me,” he drawled, the jittery feeling that permeated his body translating to an ever-so-slight tremble in his voice.

You sat up in bed. “Come in,” you said hurriedly, already feeling the tears burning in your eyes again. You were in clean clothes now and thoroughly patched up thanks to Carol, but that wasn’t going to change how rough you looked and how hard it was going to be for Daryl to see it.

The door opened slowly, measuredly, and he took shape in the doorway. He froze for only a split second as his eyes roamed over your face, taking in the swelling and already deep purple bruises. Then he rushed to you and hugged you in against him gently. That was all it took for you to go to pieces against him, clinging to his leather jacket. “Jesus, what the hell did they do to ya? ‘M sorry. ‘M so sorry I wasn’t here. I shouldn’ta left ya. ‘M so sorry, babe. I shoulda been here,” he said into your hair, kissing you on the top of the head, holding you gently so he wouldn’t hurt you but firmly so you knew you were safe.

You sniffled and mopped the tears from your cheeks as he clasped your face and brushed your hair back. “Don’t—don’t apologize. It’s not your fault,” you said, looking up into his blue eyes. They were stormy and turbulent. “You couldn’t know…”

“Lemme see ya,” he said, looking you over. His heart ached as you showed him the bruising on your stomach and ribs. “Sit back. Rest,” he said, climbing into bed beside you where you were propped up against the headboard and wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

You tucked in against him. He left a kiss in your hair again.

“Did—did Rosita tell you what they—that—”

Daryl’s brow furrowed. “She didn’t tell me anything specific except that some assholes had hurt ya bad, beat ya up, and that I needed to get back here,” he said. “Tell me what?” His stomach churned around a hard knot. His mind began inventing all kinds of horrific scenarios immediately. What did you mean?

You could see him whirling and quickly tried to explain. “I was unconscious but—” Your hand landed on the gauze pad taped over the wounds below your collarbone. His eyes flitted down to it. “They used a knife and—” You couldn’t get any more words out so you simply lifted the bandage to show him, gingerly peeling back the medical tape and bandaging. Daryl froze completely. Every part of him stilled. He stared at the brutality someone had inflicted on you and hot rage boiled inside him. More tears leaked out onto your cheeks as you saw what it was doing to him to see that on you. You hastily covered it back up.

He softened again, coming back to himself, letting his anger flow away, and wiped the tears from your face with his thumbs. “Hey—it don’t matter to me what they—how they marked ya like that. Ya know that, right? Ya got every right to feel however ya feel ‘bout it. Ya do. But to me—” He shook his head. “It don’t matter, okay? I just see you. It’s all gonna be alrigh’.”

You collapsed into him again, finally letting yourself completely break down, wondering how the fuck you’d gotten so lucky as to find this man. He held you against his chest, his strong arms securely around you. He could feel the bump on the back of your head where they’d hit you. He could feel the swelling on your face and under your clothes, and he internally yelled at himself for leaving you behind, even if it was only supposed to be for a couple days, even though no one would have guessed that anything like this would happen, even though he knew how strong and capable you were. “‘M so sorry,” he murmured again. “I shouldn’t have left ya here… here of all places, with them.” His hands clenched into fists. “I’m gonna track down every one of these assholes and put ‘em in the fuckin’ ground,” he growled.

You couldn’t stand him blaming himself and you pulled yourself together. “It’s not your fault, Daryl. And—maybe… maybe I should have known something like this could happen…”

His brow furrowed. “What do ya mean?” He took a beat, his heart seemingly suspended somewhere in a gaping space that had opened in his chest. “Did somethin’ happen before this?”

You bit your bottom lip, your eyes still glassy. “No. No, not exactly. Nothing happened. I mean, people have—said things to me before. Made comments. I just—”

Daryl frowned, his brow heavy over his eyes, casting them in a deep shadow. “Like what? What kinda comments?”

You sighed and turned to face him more fully. You rested your hands on his sides. “Just—little shitty things. Because of what I’d been here,” you explained. “As Negan’s wife…”

Daryl was boiling again inside with anger. “Ya weren’t ever his wife,” he said. “That word means somethin’ else.” Your fingers went to touch the wedding band on your ring finger, the one Daryl had made with his own hands and given to you.

“Yeah. I know. It doesn’t matter,” you said quickly. “I just wrote them off and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want it to be a big deal and I knew how upset you’d get. It just felt like shitty people being shitty at the time. Mostly…”

“Mostly,” he growled.

“I never thought anything like this would happen. I should’ve told you. I’m sorry.”

Daryl sighed and ducked his head, running his hands gently up and down the soft bare skin on your arms, marred with bruises and abrasions. “Don’t apologize. Ya didn’t do anythin’ wrong. I get why ya didn’t tell me… and yer righ’. I woulda beat the shit out of anybody sayin’ or doin’ anythin’ like that to ya. But tha’s my job. I wanna protect you.”

“I know,” you said. “We’ve just had so much on our plate here. I didn’t want to add something else. And I never thought—I didn’t think—” You grimaced as a wave of pain and dizziness hit you.

“I know. I know. Hey—it’s okay. We’ve talked ‘bout this enough. Ya need to rest. ‘M here now. S’okay.”

“I am really tired,” you agreed, shutting your eyes and waiting for the lightheaded feeling to pass.

He clasped your face again, his eyes flickering from this injury to that, and then he kissed your swollen lips as gently as he could. You managed to give him an overwhelmed, somewhat sad smile which he returned. “C’mon. Let’s lay down.”

Daryl helped you settle down on the mattress and fitted himself beside you. You tucked yourself against his body, breathed in his smell and safety, and shut your eyes. His fingers brushed through your hair, reassuring and grounding.

_ _ _ _ _ _

The next morning Daryl was awake early while you slept on. He carefully, ever so slowly slipped out of bed and pulled a change of clothes on. He snuck out and headed to find Carol, Eugene, and Rosita.

He spotted Eugene first and nudged his head up in a nod as a greeting. “Well, what d’ya got to tell me?” Daryl asked hurriedly.

“We were short five of the former Saviors at the headcount last night, and five again this mornin’. Carol and Rosita have been questionin’ people all night. We don’t think anyone here knew anything about it. They weren’t exactly gentle with their lines of inquiry.”

Daryl rubbed a hand over his mouth and nodded thoughtfully. “Alrigh’. As I thought then... Cowards took off right afterwards.”

“Indeed. I suspect they knew Justice’s hammer would fall hard and swift on them once their atrocious deed was discovered,” Eugene agreed. “No way to know now where they’re headed.”

Daryl sighed. “Hopefully righ’ into a fuckin’ herd of walkers,” he drawled. “Alrigh’. Well, we need to send out runners to get word out to The Kingdom and Alexandria so ev’rybody can watch out for those pieces of shit... Y/N and I will take news to Hilltop today, and keep our eyes open for any sign of ‘em on the way. If I get sight of ‘em, I’mma strangle ‘em with my bare fuckin’ hands…” He sighed again, even more heavily this time. “Thanks. For everythin’ ya’ll did last night.”

“Of course,” Eugene said sincerely. “How is her condition today?”

Daryl sighed and shook his head. “She’s still asleep. She was exhausted. ‘M gonna get back up there. I dun want her wakin’ up here alone and ‘m still afraid there could be somebody in here—” he hesitated to speak his fear lest it become real. “She’ll be alrigh’. She’s tough. But she was shaken up pretty good and I can’t believe how bad they beat her up... and what they did,” he said vaguely, referring to the letterds on your skin. “But she’ll be okay.” He patted Eugene on the shoulder gratefully and headed straight back to you.

_ _ _ _ _ _

With hasty goodbyes and thank you’s to your close, chosen family, still at The Sanctuary you departed for Hilltop on the back of Daryl’s bike. You held extra tightly to him the whole way, and often his right hand left the handlebars to smooth over yours for a moment. The Sanctuary shrank smaller and smaller behind you and then disappeared into a cloud of dust. Neither of you knew it at the time, but you’d never come to that place again while it was a semi-functional community. It would be only ruins when you sheltered there during the storm eight years after the war.

On arriving at Hilltop, Maggie threw her arms around you and tears of shock filled her eyes when she saw your bruised and swollen face. Enid insisted on checking you over again, but gave you the all clear after much expressed anger and concern. Maggie quickly carved out a space for you and Daryl to stay, close to the room she shared with baby Hershel in the big house up on the hill.

Your body had stiffened overnight and on the bike ride. Every movement caused aches and pains to shoot through you and Daryl was attentive and worried as you settled into your new home. When you settled into bed at first, Daryl kissed every part of you where he could see a bruise or injury. His fingers were light and gentle on your skin, and you were amazed as you always were that he could be so soft when he was so strong. Finally, the sun sank below the horizon and you were again laying side by side, your head tucked up under his chin, listening to the whoosh of air in his lungs and his steady heartbeat.

“I had an idea,” you said softly, breaking a long but comfortable silence.

“Hmm?” he hummed.

“Maybe when I’m all healed up, if—if it scars bad, I can get someone to do a tattoo over it to cover it up.”

Daryl smiled. You were already thinking ahead to the future, thinking of solutions. That was a good sign. He hugged you more tightly against him. “What would ya get?”

“I don’t know. Something pretty… to cover up something so ugly,” you mused aloud. “Like, there are these flowers that only bloom once in their lifetime and it can take decades to happen.”

“Nah, tha’s no good,” Daryl said quickly.

“What? Why?” you asked, looking up at him with surprise from beneath your lashes.

“It don’t fit ya. Yer bloomin’ all the time. Every day. Ya always have been, even when ya couldn’t see it,” he drawled. He pressed a kiss softly to your forehead.

You smiled at him sleepily.

“Was that too cheesy?” he asked with a gruff laugh.

“No. It was just the right amount,” you said. “Okay… maybe I’ll just get ‘Property of Daryl Dixon’,” you joked.

“No good. Ya ain’t nobody’s property. Ya belong only to yerself. ‘M just lucky that you share with me,” he said, his fingertips tracing vague shapes on the bare skin of your hip, exposed from the way your shirt had draped.

You sighed and nuzzled in against his neck. “I was only kidding,” you said, closing your eyes.

“I know. But it’s true.”

You yawned. “Maybe. But I do also belong to you, by my choice. I have since that night you fell through that rotten floor,” you said with a laugh. Daryl’s chest moved as he joined you with a low chuckle. In another minute, you were asleep. Daryl whispered ‘I love you’ into your hair, and shut his eyes too.

He meant what he’d said—he’d find whoever had hurt you and end them if he could, but after that, he wouldn’t allow the shadow of the past to dim another day. He’d walk with you forward, facing the sun in the same way you’d been doing together since the end of the war. And he hoped this time all of it, all the Saviors, The Sanctuary, the fear and pain, was really behind both of you.

#sacrifice #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl fanfic

104 notes · View notes