#i need to sit down for an hour. AT LEAST.

[ditzydoe444]

jason notices mid sex that you are clutching your teddy bear so tight with tears in your eyes, it causes him to lose all since of control

MDNI 18+

mean!jason's little sweetheart ໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶ ꒱ྀི১₊˚⊹♡

jason x reader

jason todd smut

you and jason had been going at it for hours like rabbits, the room was filled with the most lewd noises coming out of your mouth, skin slapping against each other and the bed creaking under his harsh thrusts. you were overstimulated to say the least, your puffy swollen folds getting abused by jason hitting all of your sweet spots. you may have pushed your luck by attempting to get on his nerves by prancing around in the tiniest silk slip on with nothing underneath just to get his attention, and now it came back to bite your ass.

“think you can do anything and just prance around however you like?” jason groaned as his large hands squeezed your waist so tight you were convinced it was going to leave marks. you shook your head, “n-no jay,” you whined pathetically, squeezing your eyes shut. jason let out a low tut, “well that’s what it seems like,” his tone sharp and unforgiving.

the sensation was all too much, jason was addicted to the way your cunt took him in, the small puffy folds accomodating his large size so well. “this fucking cunt loves me so much,” he grunted, “you’re just gonna sit there and take it? like a little whore?” jason muttered darkly. you turned to your side to see your brown fluffy teddy bear laying beside your pink frilly pillows, the innocent toy completely unaware of the lewd acts you are currently doing.

you were a mess, hair clinging to your forehead, tears streaming down your cheeks whilst saliva dribbled down the edge of your mouth. jason who was too distracted as one of his large hands went to rub your swollen clot, resulting in another pathetic whine from you, didn’t see how your fingers were itching to grab the teddy bear. the moment your fingertip tips reached the bears fluffy body you held it tight to your chest, your arms cradling it.

the moment jason’s eyes wandered up, seeing your body hugging the teddy bear so tightly like it was your lifeline, whilst your tears streamed down your face something inside him snapped. “this too much for you sweetheart? can’t even take dick can you?” he taunted, knowing how much of a brat you were at times, you shook your head, a small pathetic whine leaving your lips. “i-i can take it,” you mumbled, completely breathless whilst your body bounced with his thrusts alone.

jason let’s out a low chuckle, his head shaking slightly l, “doesn’t look like it sweetheart, you look like a whore you can’t even do her job.” a small pathetic attempt of a protest left your lips, your vision was already going blurry just from the pleasure. “can’t even take dick without hugging your teddy bear,” he raised a brow at the sight, there was just something about you hugging it that made his mind go insane. it was an adorable sight, and god he just wanted to fuck the brains out of you for it.

jason had pulled a few orgasms out of you since seeing you hug the bear, his mouth whispering filthy things in your ear. “fucking you so good you need to hug a teddy bear?” he groaned, as his thrusts continued, his balls hitting your ass. “j-jay,” you whined, as you clung onto the teddy bear tightly once more. jason scoffed, “what now sweetheart? you’re already so pathetic clinging onto that.”

“ ‘m close,” you whined, your heels digging into his lower back. “then come, isn’t that hard doll, or do you want me to help?” he grumbled on your ear, “n-need help.”

jason would coax an orgasm out of you by simply squeezing your lower stomach, for some reason you always held it in, refusing to come. you felt his rough calloused hands touching your lower stomach, squeezing it softly.

in a matter of seconds you came, squirting on his cock, coating it. “there we go, wasn’t that hard was it?” jason whispered softly as he kissed your neck, admiring how you looked with your post orgasm look.

“can’t even get yourself to come alone hm?” jason taunts as he admired watching your come leak, “j-jay, need kiss,” you whined softly with a pout. it was a thing you guys did, he would treat you like a toy, degrading you and would kiss your tears away. “i know, i know,” he cooed softly before kissing your cheeks and wiping the tears away.

[covenofagatha]

heyyy, could you maybe write an agatha x reader piece where reader is innocent and agatha takes advantage of that? praising her, showing her new things, etc. Maybe from school or doctor environment. Thanks!

I've been really into manipulative Professor Agatha lately

Sex Ed

During a make-up exam for Professor Harkness's Sexual Education class, she helps you out when you don't know a few answers

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: virgin/naive reader, praise kink, manipulative Agatha, dub-con, fingering, oral

Taglist: @lostbutlovely33 @diorrxckstar @whoreforolderfictionalwomen  @katekathry @onemansdreamisanothermansdeath @tayasmellsapples @natashashill @mybraininblood @mysticalmoonlight7  @cactuslover2600 @loveem0mo @readysteddiero-nance @lonelyhalfwitch @lesbiantortilla @crescendoofstars @sol-in-wonderland @ahsfan05 @gbab09 @sasheemo @agathaharness @live-laugh-love-lupone @chiar4anna @fuckedupforkhahn

This is possibly the worst time you could’ve gotten a cold. 

Three weeks into your first semester of college, classes had just begun picking up in terms of workload, most of your professors were giving the first exam, and you had forgotten to bring a jacket the one day it poured during a cold spell and you had to walk almost a mile in it back to your house, where you lived with your mom. Her house was so close to campus that most of the time you didn’t bother driving. 

You had walked through the front door that day, shivering and shaking and soaked and your mom had taken one good look at you and said, “You’re going to get sick.” 

And she sure was right. The next day, you woke up and felt like you were clinging to life by a thread: your throat ached, your head felt full, and your lungs hurt. Your fever made you bury under three blankets and then strip down to practically nothing the next minute. It was hell. 

Not to mention, you missed four days of classes. In most of them, you just needed to get notes from a classmate, but in Sexual Education, you had missed a test. 

Sexual Education, taught by Professor Agatha Harkness, is your least favorite class. You hadn’t taken it in middle or high school as your mom hadn’t let you, so you had to take it in college. There was something about the subject that made you squirm, and the way Professor Harkness talked about sex, so blatantly and forward, that made your stomach get a weird feeling. 

You had emailed her and told her that you wouldn’t be able to take the exam because you were sick, attaching the doctor’s note and everything, and she had replied almost immediately, telling you to just see her during office hours whenever you could to make it up. She ended it with Feel better, honey ;) and for some reason, that made you get the same sensation in your gut as you did in her class. 

The following Monday was when you decided to make it up. You had replied to her email and asked, and she told you that day was perfect. 

You did feel better, and you had tried to study. The test is on anatomy and sexual intercourse, and although you kept having to take breaks because it kept making you uncomfortable, you had gotten through all the material. 

But now, as you trudge across campus, a cough still tickling your throat every now and then, you wonder if there’s any way to postpone the make-up even more. Nerves have settled into your body and you’re worried your mind is going to go blank. Test anxiety has always been something you’ve struggled with, and you think that with the sensitive nature of the test, you might be especially prone to it now. 

The blinds are drawn on Professor Harkness’s door to her office when you get there, so you knock as to not catch her unaware. You hear a faint “Come in!” and you push open the door and step inside. 

Your professor is sitting at her desk, a pair of big, black glasses resting on her nose, and she looks up at you from a paper she’s been writing on. 

“Feeling better, sweetheart?” She asks. 

You nod. “Much better, thank you. I’m here to take the exam that I missed?” 

A smile slowly spreads across her face and she waves you forward. Your shoes pad lightly on the carpeted floor, one step for three beats of your heart. You wipe your sweaty palms on your skirt and you sit down in the chair facing her. 

She reaches into a drawer and pulls out a packet of paper, handing it to you over the desk. You swallow roughly when you feel how many pages there are. It makes your heart sink when you see lines on the first page, meaning that it’s not multiple choice either. It already has your name on it, like she made it just for you. 

“I have to write a harder test for the make-ups,” she explains, seeing your troubled look. Is that supposed to make you feel better? “It’s to discourage people from skipping the exam the first time and getting answers from friends or anything.” 

It makes sense, it really does. But you had a legit excuse as to why you couldn’t take it. There’s no use arguing though, so you give her a tight smile and look down at the paper.

How does the body respond to sexual arousal, and what are the physiological changes that occur? 

You rack your brain, searching for anything you remember about this, but there’s nothing. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, you skip and move onto the next one.

2. What happens during an orgasm?

You look at the next one.

3. What is the role of lubrication?

You don’t remember reading anything about that or even Professor Harkness saying anything about that. 

Skip. 

There’s nothing in your brain about the next question either. Visibly getting flustered now, you frantically flip through the pages of the exam to find a question that you do know, ignoring the stinging sensation in your eyes. 

Finally, at the bottom of the third page, you find one. Incidentally, the last question of the test.

7. How does the sperm fertilize an egg? 

You breathe a sigh of relief and scribble down the answer, and with renowned confidence, you find at least a few things you’re able to write for the three questions in the middle. 

Feeling pretty good now, you go back to the start, and then you realize you just have the first three left, but they’re worth the most amount of points. The sinking feeling starts to come back. The other questions are worth ten points each. These are worth twenty. If you don’t answer, you are going to fail. 

“Professor?” You rasp, having no other option to ask for help. “I’m having some trouble on a few of these questions. I don’t remember you saying anything about some of this stuff.”

Professor Harkness frowns and leans over to look at your paper. “Which ones?” 

“Um, the ones about arousal, and lubrication, and orgasms,” you say, voice dropping to a whisper like it’s too embarrassing to say any louder. “You never said anything about it in class, unless I missed it while I was sick.” Even then, you poured over the slideshows she posted, and you swear you didn’t see anything about those terms. 

Professor Harkness lounges back in her chair and fixes you with a certain look. “I didn’t necessarily say anything about those, but you should be able to infer based on your own experiences.” 

And that makes your cheeks heat up. “Well, I, um–” You stutter, completely flustered. 

“Ah,” she says, like she’s had a realization, and your eyes flit to hers. “Are you a virgin, honey?” 

You nod hesitantly, feeling shame burn through you. Now you’re going to fail the test because of your lack of experience. “I’m sorry,” you mumble. 

“Oh, sweetie,” Professor Harkness coos and reaches her arms out across the desk, palms outstretched. You blink back tears and take her hands and she squeezes in reassurance. “Don’t ever apologize for that. I shouldn’t have assumed. Here, why don’t I give you a quick lesson to make it more fair for you, hm?” 

“That would be so great, thank you so much!” You exclaim gratefully. 

Professor Harkness smiles, although there’s something dangerous behind it, and she gets up out of her chair. “Why don’t you come over here and sit on my desk?”

It’s a bit of a weird request, but she’s already helping you out so much that you don’t argue. You sit on her desk and she places her hands on your knees to gently spread your legs apart so she can stand in-between them. 

“Have you ever touched yourself before?” She asks gently and you shake your head, upset. She tilts your chin up and then strokes a piece of hair behind your ears. “Hey, it’s okay. It can be hard to figure these things out by yourself. And I’m sure the slideshows and text, books and my lectures aren’t helping much either,” she jokes and you giggle. “Why don’t I give you more of a hands-on lesson? Some people learn a lot better that way.” 

Your brows furrow. “What about the exam?” 

Professor Harkness nods. “Don’t worry. Let me teach you some things and this should be able to answer those questions you were having. Now, I just need you to be a good girl and relax for me, okay?” 

“Okay, Professor,” you agree, but stiffen when her hands start to slide up your thighs. She pauses and moves them back down and repeats, each time getting a little higher up. 

Something is happening in your stomach, a heat is growing, a little like what happens when you’re in her class, but stronger than it ever has been. You suddenly feel like you’re running hot. Has the fever come back? 

Your professor is watching you carefully, a slight smile on her lips. “The first step in the physiological process of an orgasm is excitement. During this stage, arousal builds. Pupils dilate. Heart rate and breathing rate increase. Your blood pressure rises, making you feel warm.” 

“I think that’s happening to me, Professor,” you say faintly and she chuckles. 

“I would say so, honey. And you can call me Agatha,” she tells you and the feeling inside you only gets worse. “Lubrication should be starting right about now.” 

You gasp when she finally cups you over your underwear and your hips instinctively buck. You’ve never had anyone’s hand there, not even your own, and the sensation is indescribable. 

Agatha is fully smirking now, rubbing up and down the fabric. You can feel how sticky it is, just from her light touches. “You’re doing so well for me, pretty girl. You’re almost in the plateau phase. Your vagina is getting swollen, your clitoris is becoming sensitive–” She rubs at a small circle towards the top of your vagina, you remember seeing a diagram of it, and it makes you keen. “–and you’re going to just keep getting wetter.” 

There’s a fire inside you now, flames licking up your stomach into your ribs and spreading throughout your whole body. It feels like there’s an ache inside you and you just need more. “Agatha,” you gasp. “I need–” You don’t even have the words to explain it.

But she knows. She slides your panties to the side and swipes through your folds and then holds her glistening fingers up to the light so you can see. It takes your breath away. 

“The role of lubrication,” she references the question you didn’t know, her hand dropping back down between your legs and toying at your entrance. “is simply to reduce friction, discomfort, and pain during sex.” 

And then she pushes a finger into you and you make a strangled sound. She feels so good and when she curls her finger up and rubs against something, you clench around her and make another explicit noise. 

She chuckles and presses on it again, enjoying the way you jump. “That’s your G-spot right there. Extra credit if you mention that on your exam,” she says with a grin and you’d make a note of that if there were any thoughts left in your head. 

Agatha pauses for a second after she pulls out of you and you whine, before it quickly turns into a gasp when she slides two fingers in. It burns and you whimper, your hands scrambling to grab on her shoulders and cling to her while she gently works to stretch you out with shallow thrusts. 

“You’re doing so well, baby,” she purrs. “Such a good girl for me, my best student. Look at how well you’re taking this lesson. So perfect.” 

You preen and when she rubs her thumb against your clit, she’s slowly able to slide her two fingers into you. The feeling of fullness is just what you need right now, and even though you’re incredibly tight around her, it still feels so much better than anything you’ve ever felt. 

Agatha starts lazily dragging her fingers against your walls, in and out, occasionally twisting and making your hips roll. You’re holding onto her body, panting into her neck, and the tension inside you is building. 

“If only you knew how pretty you look right now,” she mutters, now picking up to a faster pace. Each thrust leaves you breathless and you can hardly comprehend what she’s saying. She circles your clit and you cry out with pleasure. “You’re so innocent, I see you squirming in your seat every time I talk about sex.” That makes you flush with heat even more. “Look at you now, honey. Taking my fingers like a good girl.” 

You gasp out something incoherent and she starts to pump her fingers harder. You’re throbbing and pulsing around her, pleasure starting to spread from your stomach to the rest of your body and you don’t know how much more you can take. 

She smiles when you moan her name. “You’re about to be in the orgasm phase. Your pelvic muscles will contract, and your vaginal walls will tighten. There will be an increase in lubrication and your heart rate will get even faster. It will feel euphoric.” 

It’s happening, you can feel it. “Agatha, please,” you groan and she twists her fingers inside you. 

“Cum for me, pretty girl,” she says and the pleasure explodes inside you, the release of the tension overwhelming you and making your mind go completely blank for a minute. You can barely feel Agatha’s fingers still inside you, gently stroking against your inner walls until you come down from your high, and while it still feels amazing, you’re incredibly sensitive now. 

“Agatha,” you groan and she chuckles before pulling her fingers out of you, making you wince. They’re absolutely soaked and she pops them into her mouth to clean them and your jaw drops open. 

She moans at the taste and sits back down in her chair, putting her hands above her head and nodding at your test that’s still sitting there. “You should have no trouble finishing now,” she says and you swallow hard before getting off her desk and going around it to take your seat. 

You pick up your pen and begin writing, trying to ignore how you can still feel Agatha’s fingers inside you. 

And Agatha? Agatha smirks to herself, still tasting you on her tongue, knowing that she got exactly what she wanted just by making a few well picked-out questions worth a few more points. 

[mattysketchup]

nerd!matt giving brat!reader head

100 follower special !!

warnings… oral (f receiving), matt the munch, soft dom!matt, swearing, slight degrading, hair pulling?, edging, pet names

my first actual smut fic, mb if its ass but enjoy

(masterlist)

“so if a dataset has a mean of 50 and a standard deviation of 5, what percentage of the data falls within one standard deviation of the mean?” matt asks.

you groan as you fling your head back. “matt c’mon, we’re not gettin’ anywhere with this”

“alright jus’ this one question.” matt says as he acknowledges your whines. matt was smart, like really smart, and it was noticeable to anybody who saw him.

the collared shirt, big glasses, and the awkward persona were enough to give it away.

“matt” you complain. “we’ve been at this for hours… can we just wrap it up? my brain isnt working anymore.”

“c’mon sweetheart…just a couple more questions, we’ve almost finished reviewing this unit.” he said, trying to get you to cram for your exam tomorrow.

“ugh fine. one more question” you say, only agreeing because, truly, how could you say no to him?

minutes pass and all you begin to think about is the growing heat between your legs.

you uncomfortably try to adjust your legs to make it stop, but nothing works. you start to zone out, your mind racing with all the things the man in front of you should be doing.

sure, you’ve noticed how stunning matt is, i mean you are “dating” him.

you look around his dorm to try and find anything else to focus on.

but his messy hair, shirt pulled up to see his veiny arms, and the raspy voice were enough to make a woman go wild.

“hellooo? y/n?” matt calls, causing you to snap out of your trance. “hey?” you respond.

“i asked you a question- you’re not listening are you.” he realizes.

“matt ‘m sorry, but i just don’t understand this and i’m so tired” you whine.

“sweetheart, you have your exams tomorrow. if you don’t revise and study you won’t do your best on it.” he warns.

he knew you weren’t the smartest person, well at least not compared to him, but he knew that it was probably your daddy’s money that got you a spot at a prestigious university.

“just two more-” he starts, but notices the pout on your face and your crossed legs and chuckles.

“oh sweetheart, you couldn’t even wait ten minutes for us to finish this?” he says, mumbling a small ‘pathetic’ before moving closer to you.

“please matt” you whine.

“please what?” he smiles, his hand on your knee.

“pl-please touch me” you pout, knowing he wasn’t going to give in that easily.

“oh, you poor thing” he coos with faux sympathy laced on his tongue.

he rubs a hand up and down your knee, your plaid skirt you wore to tease him now sliding up your thighs.

“fuck- matt don’t tease…” you mewl, your arousal now practically dripping in between your legs.

he smirked at you, loving the way you reacted to the slightest touch and the simplest of words.

“take this off f’me, yeah?” he basically whispers, running his hand over your skirt.

you do just that as he points over to the bed. “sit” he commands.

you’re now sitting at the edge of the bed in your baby blue lingerie, waiting for matt to touch you.

he gets down on his knees, slowly kissing your now slightly shaking thighs.

your pussy aches for this man, wanting him to just touch you.

he slowly takes off your panties, disregarding them on the floor as he softly spreads open your legs.

he wraps your thighs around his head, looking up at you with those submissive ass eyes.

“matt- please i need you” you beg, your fingers intertwined in his brown locks.

he smiles at the amount of power he has over you, kissing your pussy before slowly licking your clit.

you slightly moan at the sudden pleasure, your mouth agape.

he continues this subtle yet effective movement, earning more and more moans from you.

he begins to lap his tongue around your hole, causing you to grab his hair.

his tongue moves faster and faster as your hips buck against his tongue.

“y’like that sweetie?” matt asks, moving his tongue faster (if possible.)

“oh fuck- yes matt” you whine, your brain foggy. “m’gonna cum”

“ah ah ah” he tuts, stopping his movements. “i’ll tell you when you can come doll”

this only made you whine more, since you were used to getting your way.

“f-fuck matt… i can’t take it” “oh but yes you can doll. you practically begged for it, you’re gonna take it.” he commands.

you were a moaning mess on his bed. eyes rolled to the back of your head, legs shaking, and your hands gripping at matts hair in an attempt to make him go faster.

“h-holy shit” you moan. “please i need to cum”

“hmm… have you been good?” he asks.

“yes… please matt” you groan.

“atta girl, cum on my tongue babydoll” matt’s words, tongue, hands travelling your body, and piercing blue eyes were enough to send you over the edge.

you felt your body relax and the knot in your stomach snap as you released your arousal on his tongue.

“this gonna help you ace your exam tomorrow?” matt asks jokingly, as you playfully smack his shoulder.

tessa’s notes… THANK YOU ALL FOR 100 FOLLOWERS !!! i truly didn’t know how fast i could grow over the span of 3 months, but you all made it happen and i’m so grateful for every single one of you💋. guys i literally HATEEE writing smut so i do apologize if it’s terrible, js wanted to try smth different to express my gratitude for all of you !!!

[ikkyfics]

Hair Bleach

Pietro Maximoff x f!reader

Summary: He was sitting on the kitchen counter, his long legs stretched out and his messy brown hair already partially covered by the bleach you were carefully applying. “Do you think it’ll look good?” he asked, his voice low and slightly rough, but carrying a playful tone that was so characteristic of him. “You’ve done this before, remember? It wasn’t exactly a disaster,” you replied, trying to focus as you spread the cream through his hair.

Warnings: fluffy, modern!au

Masterlist

Maybe it was the drink you both had earlier – that cheap wine Steve insisted on serving – or maybe it was just the laid-back atmosphere of the party, with Wanda’s laughter echoing through the room and the music that seemed like it would never stop. You weren’t exactly sure what had made you comment on his hair. Maybe it was a flash of memory, a detail lost in time.

“Do you remember when your hair was bleached?” you had asked, both still a little dizzy as you walked down the empty street, heading home.

He laughed, his voice rough and a little drawn out, clearly carrying the influence of the drinks. “Remember? Hard to forget. You loved messing with it.”

“I really did,” you admitted, feeling your face heat up. It was true, after all. Pietro with bleached hair had been almost a comical version of himself – always complaining about the upkeep, but knowing how much you liked it.

“Then why don’t we do it again?” he suggested, that carefree sparkle in his eyes that was so typical of him.

“Now?” you asked, laughing.

“Now,” he confirmed, with an unexpected determination.

And before you could protest, you were standing in front of a 24-hour pharmacy, arguing over which bleach brand would be best while laughing like two teenagers.

Now, in your apartment, the wine had given way to a comfortable sobriety. The apartment still smelled like the party, as if the echoes of the night you’d spent together refused to completely disappear. Dim lights filtered through the blinds, creating an almost theatrical contrast between the dark and the light. You were still in your party dress, a piece of fabric that seemed made for Pietro to look at you like that – his blue eyes sparkling, intense and sweet, as if the thought of looking away was unthinkable.

He was sitting on the kitchen counter, his long legs stretched out and his messy brown hair already partially covered by the bleach you were carefully applying. The black t-shirt was a little askew, revealing the outline of muscles you knew by heart, but that still made you blush as if it were the first time you saw them.

“Do you think it’ll look good?” he asked, his voice low and slightly rough, but carrying a playful tone that was so characteristic of him.

“You’ve done this before, remember? It wasn’t exactly a disaster,” you replied, trying to focus as you spread the cream through his hair.

He smiled, that grin that was a mix of mischief and tenderness, before tilting his head back, looking at you closely. “It wasn’t a disaster because you said it looked good. Everything you say looks good, I believe.”

You rolled your eyes, but the smile that slipped out was inevitable. Pietro had that effect on you – an almost magical ability to turn the simplest moment into something that felt extraordinary.

“Stop moving your head,” you murmured, gently pushing his face into the right position.

“Hard to do. You’re here, looking gorgeous like this, talking to me as if I don’t want to kiss you every five seconds.”

“You’re already distracting me,” you shot back, but he didn’t seem in the least bit sorry.

“It’s part of my charm,” he replied before sliding one of his large hands to your waist. The touch was warm, firm, as if he needed to feel your presence there, just to make sure this was real.

“Pietro,” you complained quietly, but your voice lacked any strength. Not when his fingers were mindlessly tracing little circles against the fabric of your dress.

“Just one kiss,” he asked, leaning forward, his short beard brushing your cheek before he reached your lips with his.

It was a lazy kiss, but full of meaning. He had always been like that with you, direct in his feelings, with no room for doubt.

When he finally pulled away, you sighed, but the laughter that slipped out afterward was involuntary. “If I mess up, it’s because you can’t stay still. It’ll be your fault.”

“Then I’ll have to live with a permanently stained head,” he replied, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “But I bet you’d still think I’m cute.”

“Maybe,” you teased, turning your attention back to his hair.

Your fingers slid carefully through the brown strands, now covered by the white bleach cream. The chemical smell filled the air, but it wasn’t enough to overshadow the sweetness that seemed to emanate from the moment. Pietro closed his eyes slowly, as if savoring a luxurious experience and not something as mundane as getting his hair bleached in the kitchen of your apartment. For the first time that night, he was quiet, allowing you to work in peace – at least in terms of words.

His hands, however, weren’t so easily quieted. One rested on your waist, the fingers unaware of the thin fabric of the dress you were still wearing, while the other moved up to your thigh, resting there with familiarity and a touch of affection. He wasn’t exactly distracting you, but he didn’t seem willing to let you forget he was there, that he needed to touch you – as if you might disappear if he wasn’t sure you were real.

The warmth of his touch was something you could feel even through the fabric, a constant reminder that he was near, that he was yours. And as much as you tried to focus on his hair, the bleach, the time it needed to work, it was impossible not to be affected.

“If this keeps up, I’m going to mess up,” you murmured, more to yourself than to him.

His lips curved into a lazy smile, his eyes still closed. “Doesn’t seem like I’m the one distracting you right now,” he replied, but didn’t move, just enjoying the feel of your fingers massaging his scalp.

The silence that followed was comfortable, filled with the soft sound of his breathing and the sensation of his hair under your fingers. For a moment, you lost yourself, the movements becoming slower and more careful. It was almost hypnotic – the texture of the strands, the warmth radiating from his skin, the way he seemed so absorbed in the touch, as if nothing else mattered.

And then you looked at him.

His face was relaxed, dark lashes contrasting against his pale skin, the stubble outlining the curve of his jaw. His chest rose and fell in a tranquil rhythm, as if he were on the verge of a light sleep, but the smile on his lips was still there, a small curve that seemed impossible to erase.

It was inevitable. You leaned in before you even realized what you were doing, your lips touching his in a gesture as natural as breathing. Pietro responded immediately, as if he had been waiting for this, his hands gently gripping your waist and thigh, pulling you closer.

The kiss started sweetly but quickly turned into something more. It wasn’t urgent, but it had an intensity that made your knees almost buckle. When you tried to pull away, his hands wouldn’t let you, holding you in place as if he wasn’t done yet.

“Wait,” you tried to protest against his lips, but the word came out muffled, without conviction.

It wasn’t until you felt something wet trickling down the side of your face that reality hit hard. “Pietro!” you exclaimed, laughing as you pulled away.

He opened his eyes, confused, but the smile quickly returned when he saw the white stain on the side of your hair and a bit on your forehead. “Well, looks like you’re going to bleach with me.”

You stared at him, open-mouthed. “I told you this would happen! Now my hair’s going to be stained, and it’s all your fault.”

He shrugged, not a hint of regret. “You’re still beautiful. Maybe we should bleach it all at once.”

“No way,” you replied, trying to wipe the cream off your forehead with the back of your hand, only to spread it even more.

Pietro laughed, that warm, contagious laugh that made your heart race. He grabbed a piece of paper towel and leaned forward, wiping the stain off with a care that was completely at odds with the laughter shaking his shoulders. But then he held your face, giving you a look full of affection. “You know I’d do anything for you, right?”

You blinked, surprised by the intensity in his voice. “I know, Pietro.”

His fingers ran along your cheek. “I want you to know. Really. I don’t care about the hair, or what we do. I just want to make you happy.”

Your heart tightened, and for a moment, everything around you seemed to disappear. “You already do,” you said, your voice softer than you intended, but full of sincerity.

He smiled, that small, genuine smile that was all his. “Good. Because you’re everything to me.”

You felt the words like a hug, warm and full of meaning. He had always been like that – direct, no nonsense, but full of feeling.

“Now stop distracting me,” you said, trying to refocus, but the smile on your face was impossible to hide.

“No chance,” he replied, leaning in to steal a kiss before you could protest.

[pampushky]

and I hate the way the townspeople gather outside

Alpha! Lando Norris/Omega! Lauda! Reader - chapter 4 - 5.5k words

And we're back baby! Warnings for this chapter: uh, just lore building. Lando thinks maus is lying lol. apologies for the possibly incorrect german, I'm rather rusty on it lol, but I'm brushing back up on it lol

oh and eggroll the service hound is a queen ofc.

also in need of more beta readers. dm if interested.

don't worry it'll make sense soon...ish

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The Previous Day, 2024. Sakhir, Bahrain.

Lando Norris watches the conveyor belt at the baggage claim, standing next to Oscar. The Australian’s arms are folded. You’re casually drinking a tall can of Red Bull as if you hadn’t gotten them into this situation, with a hands-free leash looped around you like a cross-body bag, connected to your little beagle, sitting patiently at your feet.

His eye twitches when another bit of luggage comes out that’s not his.

“Doesn’t your sire literally own a private jet company?”

“Not anymore. He sold it. Gained quite a bit of money from it.” You shrug. Offering a sip of the can to Oscar, who actually takes a hard drink from it, tipping his head back. “Besides. I fly normally most of the time. Better for the environment, no?”

“Who gives a shit about the environment?” 

“I do. I actually quite like to hike.” You frown as you look at him, brow furrowing. Your beagle yawns. “So does Seb. Didn’t you flirt with him your first year?” 

“I did what— no! He was like my grid dam!” Lando screeches, almost immediately trying to banish the images of Sebastian and himself in any type of relationship beside that of a rookie and a veteran driver mentorship. 

“Ah.” You nod slightly, and then go back to looking at the baggage claim. Studying it. “We flew business anyway. Why are you so pissy about it?” 

“We could have flown private or— or at least first class!” 

“Why, though?” You tilt your head at him. Momentarily scowling at Oscar as he’s drunk all of your Red Bull— a fact only discovered when you try to take a drink for yourself. “It’s not even a long flight, just seven hours.”

“Seven hours is a long time,” Lando chuffs, folding his arms across his chest. “I need to be able to lay down!”

“Okay, next time, we’ll fly first class,” Oscar buts in, already trying to smooth things over between the two of you. You almost look offended until Oscar glares at you from the corner of his eye, which gets you to bite down on your cheek. “Lando can schedule that.”

“Fine.” Lando sniffs, watching as more luggage lands on the conveyor belt. “But we are so upgrading to first for the flight home.”

“But that’ll cost extra,” you whine, which makes the dog at your feet snort. Lando silently decides that your beagle is on his side, in this argument, even if you don’t acknowledge it.

“Compromises, Mousey,” Oscar just puts one of his hands on the top of your head, the way an older litter mate might do to quiet an argument. It’s quite funny for Lando to watch, especially with the little huff you let out, conceding. “Compromises.”

The little smirk that Lando gives you nearly makes you growl, until Oscar just pushes down on your head a bit harshly, saying something about grabbing his bag and leaving the two of you alone. 

“So….” Lando starts, standing a bit awkwardly as you both watch Oscar struggle with his frankly oversized duffle bag. Your dog has now sat back down at your feet, watching the Aussie nearly fall over himself. “Mousey?”

“Oh my god,” you rub your face in frustration and prepare to clobber Oscar for revealing that to Lando. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“What is it?” Lando grins widely, suddenly finding a new way to torment you. To possibly break down the walls you have set up, all in the interest as making yourself seem like a hardass. “Like— some pet name, from your Oscie?”

“My Oscie?!” You screech, just as the Australian in question lets out a loud ‘oof’ from where he’s finally managed to lift the duffel, only for it to get caught on someone else's luggage, forcing him to walk awkwardly beside it while trying to unhook it from the other bag. Both yourself and Lando watch in partial amusement on Lando’s part and disappointment on yours. “Do you think I’m— oh, no, that actually makes sense you think I’m dating him,” You murmur, more to yourself, before looking at him stoicly, as if to clear it up. “That idiot is more like my littermate.” 

“Hey! He’s not that bad, he’s quite smart.”

As if to prove him wrong, Oscar somehow stumbles over his own feet, and falls onto the conveyor belt, now moving along with all the luggage, looking somewhat surprised at his new situation.

“Okay, so he’s got some quirks,”

“Trust me, I’m aware,” you watch as Oscar just sits on the conveyor belt for a few seconds, as if relaxing, before realizing he’s tangled the strap of his duffel bag around himself. “Besides— he’s courting someone.” You follow Oscar’s movement on the conveyor belt as he further entangles himself. “And as for Mousey… it’s a stupid name the media gave me. Because my Sisi was die Ratte, so I was called die Maus.”

“Why not like— Rat two, or Rat junior?” Lando’s brow furrows. He seems genuinely confused about the nickname, instead focusing on how it didn’t seem to make sense to him. Oscar’s adventures and struggles with the luggage are completely forgotten to him, while the poor omega finally manages to free himself from the conveyor belt.

“Ich weiß nicht. The media is dumb.” You mumble. Not looking at him for fear of him calling your bluff. 

But you do know the origins. 

Before your identity was made public, a picture had leaked of you, when you were still healing. A rare moment when you were allowed outside of the hospital to get some sunlight, and to slowly introduce you to the new country you were now living in, Mathias and Lukas doing their best to amuse you.

The picture had been you, sitting on Niki’s lap, looking tiny and frightened by how loud Vienna was, despite sitting on a bench in a park near the hospital.

Your eyes were wide. Your little face was still bandaged, your hair shorn close to your scalp, and your hands so heavily wrapped in bandages that it made you look like you were wearing white mittens as your wounds healed. Sitting on Niki’s lap, oblivious to the paparazzi, while your sire was looking at the camera straight on, the calculating fury on his face a heavy contrast to your wide-eyed anxiety and innocence. Flinching at every noise that wasn’t something familiar, with a shy smile on your lips as you stretched a bandaged-wrapped hand towards Mathias. 

How had it been leaked? 

Published to the press not a day later, the front page of some gossip magazine Niki had sued into oblivion. But that was the first picture of you the public had ever seen, tucked under the headline: “Die Ratte und das Mäuschen!” The rat and the little mouse. 

The article itself was just blatant gossip. Theorizing about where you’d come from, based on the fact he’d just recently flown to the United States and returned not even a month ago. Who you were to Niki to make him so protective of you— and what an unfortunate event it was that such a pretty young girl was to be branded with the same scars Niki bore. 

Had Lando ever seen the picture before? Probably not. But you could never be certain. Especially not with your last name, and the weight it carried in motorsport. Not with how freely any information the media got its hands on became public knowledge. 

“I agree,” Lando said tartly, snapping you out of your little dissociative state. Eggroll sitting at your feet, now aware and pressing a paw to your shin. Alerting that you were experiencing the start of a dissociative episode. Not that Lando knew that part— he probably just assumed it was a pet asking for attention. “Is your dog… asking for Red Bull?”

“She’s alerting. I had a trigger, or something,” You mumble, already going to lower yourself to the ground so she can sit in your lap to help keep you calm, her weight reassuring and familiar. “Eggroll’s my service dog.” 

Before Lando can even question the fact that you have a service dog, and further, the fact that they dog's name is Eggroll, Oscar finally lets out a yelp for assistance, now pulling your bag and Lando’s from the claim, looking like he’s going to get pulled onto the little conveyor belt again by his bag.

The older driver rushes over, forgetting about Eggroll and your mystery disability that required you to have her, helping Oscar pull the two remaining bags off the track. And by the time they’re both heading back towards you, you’re standing up again, and Eggroll is alert by your side, and Lando’s already forgotten about the little talk you’d both had. 

Two Days Later, 2024. Sakhir, Bahrain. 

It’s the second day of pre-season testing. Everything is terrible. You’d always hated testing out your ideas and putting a driver in the seat. A chance to have all of your carefully laid calculations and strategies, brought to you by countless other mechanics and engineers, and then having to make the hard decisions on what should actually be included. Or. That’s what it was like at Williams. No one would dare say it to your face— but they underestimated you. You were, firstly, the child of a wealthy and famous Formula One legend. Secondly, a woman. And third, your worst crime, an incredibly well-educated and blunt omega who would never back down when you knew you were right about something. 

The Williams team who worked with you always seemed to regard you with thinly veiled loathing. Jealousy. You’d applied under an assumed name, wanting to strike out on your own without your sire’s name attached to you, cutting the symbolic umbilical cord. They’d already removed the fact that gender wouldn’t be taken into account, much less your designation. When you’d shown up, with James to back you up after you’d gotten the job, and the proof to show that all of the accolades under your name were your own, he had immediately sunk his teeth in. The investigation had revealed just how much he’d whispered about you to the rest of the team. The lies told about you from the very first moment you’d stepped in the garage. He had orchestrated it all as if it were part of his plan to have you as his mate, stuck in his web from the moment you’d joined Williams.

Only Alex had been truly welcoming. Understanding the struggles of your stepping up and the jump into Formula One after finishing your masters. And Nick… he’d been nice enough. A bit awkward. But that was alright. You’d both commiserate over being considered “outsiders” to the Europeans, occasionally joining Lance at separate events when the isolation grew to be too much.

But you were at least partially European. A dual citizen in the United States and Austria. And your name helped to at least cover more of the disappointment in your parentage, or what the public knew about. 

You were a Lauda. Plain and simple. 

The last name Lauda originated in the Latin language. Likely from the word Lauds. The Morning Office. The first prayers of the day in the old, old ways of the Catholic Church. A Lauda was someone who sang the praises of a god you’re not quite certain you or your sire even believed in anymore. 

You’d seen the way his hands twisted when he’d prayed after one-to-many accidents. How his head bowed lower with each life or career-ending injury of some promising motorsport legend. The way he had cursed and screamed and raged after Jules Bianchi had died. You were almost 15. The funeral had been quiet. 

All you remembered was how broken the F3 driver had looked as he touched the coffin before it was pushed into the vault. 

Lauda became a name that people sang praises about. Raising your beloved Sisi on their shoulders and holding their hands together, clasped in worship when they saw him in the holy red and prancing black horse on a golden background. And you. The little Lauda, the new light of the family. They stared at you and whispered as if you already had a halo about your little head, shining bright enough to hide the mottled scars on your jawline and neck, your wide eyes more reminiscent of a little mouse than the slick, calculating rat your Sisi was.

The drivers cried for his guidance there. Micheal would lean and talk with him in hushed tones, with you balanced precariously between the two of them. There’d been a picture of you looking up at the two of them from where you sat between them, as if you could understand what they were discussing. Already trying to figure out a solution to the worries that creased your Sire’s brow, and to make your uncle smile. It’d made its rounds on social media when Williams announced you were going to be a Race Engineer starting in 2021. Now with your halo photoshopped in. 

To extol. Everyone wanted to see another Lauda charge forward in a car, backed by a legendary team. McLaren or Ferrari, they didn’t care, the media just wanted to see you from the moment your identity became public. 

That’s what everyone wanted. 

But the notebooks stacked by you state a different story. An alternative ending. The true ending. The way your eyes watered from the thick contacts being in too long. But the glasses caused too much of a glare when you were out in the sun. The twitching of your hands and the lack of the compression gloves that’s stopped them from aching. 

You would not be charging forward with a team in a car. But you could atleast guide them. 

That’s what you liked more, anyway. It was what you could do. 

What you wanted to do. 

A mechanic drops a wrench behind you, snapping you from your daze. Lando talking over the radio as you sit along the pitlane wall. 

You haven’t spoken once. Just watching and listening carefully as Will walks Lando through a practice run to get an idea of what McLaren ran like. The Alpha smiles at you warmly, lifting up one side of the headphones. You follow suit, intent on listening to whatever advice he may give. Even if you plan on turning everything on its head.

“Lando does quite well with positive reinforcement! It’s really been able to drive him to success in the past,” Will explains, his voice soft and his eyes kind even as he glances at the screens with all of their data. “Would you like to try? There’s no time like the present—“

“I’d rather not,” you murmur, looking back at the screens. He was doing alright. But not what you expected out of the current car. Not with what all the calculations and simulations had been saying. Positive reinforcement or not, the results were lackluster at best, and you weren’t about to reward him for pretty much just taking the car out for a joyride when he was supposed to be getting you data to work with and to use for strategies. “I thank you for the advice. But his data is not looking good.”

“What does she mean it’s not looking good?” Lando’s voice crackles through the headsets. “That was my best lap yet!”

“I mean it’s not looking good.” Your words are blunt as ever. Will’s face seems to drop at your… rather indelicate speech. “You’re not following the race line, and you’re taking the corners much too fast. You’re just playing around with the car, honestly.”

“Better than losing speed.”

“Tell the mechanics that when you crash. You’re driving the car like it’s the shitbox you had from five years ago.”  

Will visibility winces at that comment, and Zak just raises an eyebrow as he listens in on your conversation. Andrea laughs. Then you can hear the huff Lando lets out, actively taking another corner and nearly clipping the front wing on the railing. You hear a few yelps from the mechanics behind you for the close call. 

“Rude.”

“It’s the truth. You’re understeering like crazy right now due to how fast you’re taking the corners. I’m literally looking at the data to prove it.” You close your notebook, the final page filled with ink scrawls of notes you’d taken. No more notes. Only bluntness. “Do you want to be a champion? Or are you content to be Lando Nowins?”

“You’re a fucking dickhead, you know that?” Lando starts to take the corners even faster as if to spite you. But he’s following the set path much closer now. Your brow furrows. “Just let me fucking drive!”

“Stop taking the corners fast. You will make your own calls when you have at least four wins to your name.” You snap back, adjusting the mic to be a bit closer. “A single win can be a fluke. Match your number and we will talk.”

“Just let me fucking drive!” Lando roars, the radio crackling from how loud he shouts. Another near miss with the railing seems to scare him straight, responding curtly to you as you start to give him guidance. And you just smirk, folding your hands in front of you as you watch the data start to turn upwards, Will beside you, looking shocked as you seemingly force Lando’s hand into doing better.

“He gets positive reinforcement for doing well. Not for throwing tantrums.” You say to him, muting yourself so that Lando won’t hear the little comment. Still facing forward. Will’s face flushes slightly, and Zak just leans in a bit closer, looking at the notebook you’d written in. 

“He’s not a dog for you to train,” Will mutters. “Not like that American you worked with.”

“Watch it,” your voice is cold, and your eyes narrowed to slits as you look at him. It’s bad enough that you’re already tired, and that your eyes hurt from the contacts. But having someone drag Logan’s name through the mud when he wasn’t there to defend himself nearly makes you snap, pulling your teeth back over your lips, your scarred skin making your mouth almost seem lopsided, with the way it creases under the heavy makeup you used to even out the bumps, not looking quite right to those who are too close to you. “I have my ways. You have yours. But I am the one with the job now.”

You just focus back on the screen above you, calmly giving directions to Lando, who complies with sullen responses. When he gets out of the car, you notice Will leaning down to whisper something to him. But you don't care.

You have your ways. He has his. But you will not feed yet another ego.

The debrief after the second practice session is full of tension. Thick enough that Lando nearly gags when he enters the room. Something that makes Lando’s blood boil a little, especially with how you’re sitting just relaxed, arms a bit folded, leaning back in the office chair as you look at the slide deck of all the data that’s still being edited by the strategists. You’re across from him, while Will is next to Lando. Oscar is next to you, and on his other side is his own race engineer. You should be sitting next to Lando. Will should be a bit further down, with his new position. 

Yet there you are, sitting beside Oscar and laughing as the two of you speak. 

That idiot is more like my littermate.

Your words ring oddly in his ears. Were you just trying to throw him off? The two of you have your foreheads pressed together, whispering and discussing something like it was just the two of you in that room. Oscar smells so undeniably happy, with his eyes shining, and a little smile on his lips to reveal his bunny teeth.

You seem so satisfied. Pointing out the positive turn in data when you had held Lando’s feet to the fire. Doing the opposite of what Will had recommended. Zak just listens silently while Andrea stands at the front of the room next to Randeep, the head of strategy. The praise makes you give a small smile— Lando’s not even sure he can call it that. The corners of your mouth tip up, just a tiny bit, almost imperceptibly— and you continue to pay attention as Andrea signals for everything to move on. Oscar seems to preen at your being praised, and that all-but-seals the deal for Lando, realizing you’d probably lied about not courting him, for whatever reason.

But Will raises his hand. 

“Uh— I actually have a few concerns,” The blond alpha is polite, but there’s clear agitation in his words. You stiffen a little, but ultimately tilt your head to the side, questioning. “Mainly about how Lando’s new engineer seemed to ignore my advice,”

“....Elaborate,” Andrea motions for Will to keep speaking, though he seems agitated, a prickle of annoyance scenting the air. “Please try to keep this unbiased, Will, and also remember that each race engineer does things differently.”

“Right. I’ll just get right into it. I don’t like the way Ms. Lauda talks to Lando,” Will stands, clapping his hands together, and looking directly at you. You, in response, raise both your eyebrows and meet his gaze head-on. Cold. Calculating. The way you’re addressed almost feels too formal. Like you’re not really welcome at McLaren yet, as he refuses to use your first name. 

It’s not lost on you. And it certainly isn’t lost on Lando, who suddenly realizes Will is trying to make a statement of some kind, as the other alpha smiles at him, like Lando’s his littermate, that they’re closer than they’ve really ever been. 

“Lando, in previous years, has done great with positive reinforcement, even with how often his race engineer changes—”

“He’s also never gone further than the top five in driver’s ranking, nor won a race yet.” You respond cooly. Under the table, you’re picking at your nails. The claws on your left hand extend to pick at the back of the compression glove you’re wearing, custom-made to match your skin tone and to hide the burn scars that mar your right hand. Being careful not to break the fabric. Practiced. A perfected nervous tick that had only worsened since he had been sentenced. Perhaps you should take your anxiety medication earlier, rather than at night.

Will ignores your response, though he does pause a bit, biting the inside of his cheek. “Yes, that may be so, but we’re here to uplift him, and help him go further than before. Admittedly, the car hasn’t been the best in the past few years, but that’s changing. I’m speaking as his race engineer here—”

“Former race engineer,” You remind him, looking at Will, who looks to Lando again, as if ask for him to jump to his defense. “You’re not his race engineer anymore.”

All Lando wants to do is curl up in a ball because he really, really doesn’t want to get into the political power struggle between his current and former race engineer right now, even if you’ve not exactly been the most… approachable, for this first month. 

He feels nauseous, caught between the two of you right now. With how you’re staring him down, lips turned downward. One of your upper canines slightly snagged on your lower lip. 

“Yes, but,” Will huffs through his nose, now looking straight at you. You no longer look as calm as when the conversation— confrontation, more accurately— started. Just staring down Will, sitting stiffly in your chair. Maybe trying to intimidate him, using the legendary Lauda death stare. Perhaps it’s working— Will isn’t even trying to talk to you directly anymore, looking straight at Andrea and Zak. “Be reasonable, the way she spoke to Lando is unacceptable, I mean, Lando can’t help that he hasn’t won yet— but to outright taunt him as she did, it makes me wonder why she actually left Williams!” 

No one’s quite sure when he’d started to growl. Or when his scent had turned so bitter with frustration and outright disgust as he spoke.

But the fact is, Will used his voice. The edges of his irises had flashed red, showing his designation, and showed exactly what he was doing, even if he wasn’t aware he was doing it.

The aggression from him is shocking. Completely unlike him, in all honesty. But everything is frozen by the loud, panicked baying of your dog, now pressing itself into your lap, her nose against your face and licking your cheeks. Your eyes focus on the table in front of you, while Oscar grabs you by the shoulders, turning your chair to look at him. You let out a low, defensive hiss, and Lando can see the way you bare your teeth at him.

An odd ripping sound fills the room, the tips of your fingers extending and stretching until Lando realizes you’re wearing a glove on your right hand, and that your claws had ripped through the fingertips of it as Oscar now holds to your wrists to stop you from clawing at him. The edge of a scent-blocking patch is just visible on your wrist, where the glove had partially stretched and ripped because of the extention of your claws. 

And your dog keeps baying. Ear-splitting and urgent, as you wrestle yourself from Oscar’s grip, before directly baring your teeth at Will. Sharp canines under your pulled-back lips, one side almost looking a bit… droopy, as if your skin couldn’t tighten the way it normally would.

That snaps Will out of his daze, and he pales, starting to stutter out a response. “I—I didn’t mean—”

You barely manage to make it from the room, a flash of white near the door, in what Lando can only assume is your canine form, Eggroll still hot on your heels, baying and howling as she chases you. Oscar sprints after, pushing past Zak, who tries to hold you there. You’re gone— god knows where— along with the younger driver and your beagle.

“Mr. Joseph. A word.” Andrea hisses, and motions to the door quickly, the team principal's face set in a rare display of utter fury.

Lando has no idea what to do. Because this goes against everything he’s been taught and everything he believes in, Alpha or not. No matter how angry you got, no matter how aggravating someone might be— you never, ever let it get to that point. Not like Will had just done. Using his Alpha voice and almost certainly setting off some episode that your service dog was trained for. 

Truthfully, Lando had never seen someone use their Alpha voice. Yes, he had it. All the other Alphas he knew had it. But he’d never seen it actually used on someone. Sure, he’d seen people speak with it, but that was when he was in school, in health classes, learning to control it so he wouldn’t accidentally hurt anyone. Just like how Betas had to learn how to properly recognize scents, and how Omegas had to learn how to control their own scents, so as to not cause accidental distress to those around them. That’s just how everything was. 

Zak closes the meeting with little decorum. His face is stoic, a mask that hides whatever he’s thinking. But it’s clear that not a single word of what just happened will be spoken about outside of the team and those who’d witnessed it. 

“Zak,” Lando walks up to him, flinching at how the older Beta seems to stare right through him, “I didn’t— he didn’t tell me he was going to do that. He only said he didn’t like how Mouse did things,”

“Mouse?” Zak says in confusion. “Do you mean— never mind, but— we’ll— we’ll get this figured out, Lando. Just.... take the night." 

The way he says it doesn’t fully convince him, though. Even as he trudges to the nesting rooms, following the faint trail of the heavenly scent from last night. Room 12 is open this time. And Lando is a creature of petty desires. So the moment his body hits the pre-built nest in the little room, he closes his eyes and hopes the third and final day of testing while somehow be less of a shitshow than today. 

You need to use your canine form more. The click of your claws on the floor is a dead giveaway that it was a bit... neglected.

You’re panting, trying to find a small place to tuck yourself to hide, like your instincts are telling you to do. Following your instincts is good. Great, even. But you can hear Oscar and Eggroll’s steps behind you, almost upon you.

The wind is knocked from you, and you tumble forward as a human, with Oscar in his canine form on top of you. Eggroll trots up to your face, lets out an angry bay, before sitting down and licking your face to help ground you. It takes nearly a minute before Oscar trusts that you’re not going to try and run, and turns human himself, gently lifting both yourself and Eggroll, while you try (and fail) to tuck yourself into a ball, still thinking you're being chased.

Eggroll, seemingly all-knowing, bays again. Shoves her nose against yours. And then leaves a slobbery lick up your face, forcibly grounding you as you glare at the little beagle.

“Okay. Let’s talk.” Oscar hums, taking you to the nesting rooms, haphazardly choosing one that won’t look too odd to be closed. He helps you through the paces, wiping off the remaining adhesive for your scent-blocking patches. Letting you hide slightly under him, Eggroll grumpily pushing her paws into your side. “What was that?”

"What was what?"

"That," Oscar moves his arms as if to gesture to the entire debrief. "What else could I be talking about, Mouse?!"

“I don’t know. He started getting so angry,” You mumble. And you’re genuinely confused— nothing like that, even at Williams, had happened before. There were usually warning signs, if it was something with your scent. It was hard for you to regulate it, with how damaged your scent glands were. But you could, and that’s what your scent blockers were for. 

An omega’s scent could cause those around them to feel whatever the omega felt if they so wished it. It was a defense tactic that had evolved back from the early days of humanity. To control one's scent was to control the pack, and it often became a task for any prime omega to keep the pack calm, able to make sure level-heads prevailed in any circumstance. Just as the prime Beta and Alpha served their purpose, the prime Omega had their own duties to uphold.

You’d never been able to control your scent. Even when you presented, with Marlene to guide you through your Omega schooling, the majority of your scent glands, were too damaged. Quite honestly, you were unable to scent anything. If you tried too hard, the damaged glands would start to ache, and the few untouched ones would blister from having to overproduce the scenting hormones. 

“Do you think your scent…?” Oscar trails off as you go silent. 

“Shouldn’t have. My scent blockers are prescribed.” You mumble, squeezing Eggroll a little bit tighter. “They’re meant to make it so I don’t have to try and regulate my scent.”

As if to show your friend, your pack mate, you tremble, squeezing your eyes shut to try and regulate it as you’d learned to from Marlene. The scarred part of your neck aches with the effort it takes for you to control it. The gland on the other side of your neck manages to splutter out a weak stream of your scent before it starts to sting. Trying to make Oscar feel calm. Oscar just frowns, and then lightly pushes you to break your concentration so you don’t continue to try and regulate your scent, obviously not affected.

“Point taken.” He looks at the mostly undamaged part of your neck, checking it carefully. “Jesus. That’s gonna blister.” 

Eggroll huffs, and digs her front paws into your chest. Her mournful brown eyes look up at you in seeming judgement for pushing yourself. “They always do.” You gently scratch the dog’s head. “She did her panic alert. Not the scent alert.” You look back down at her. 

“So maybe you set him off?”

“Maybe,” you shrug it off. “He probably got scared of my face, right?” You feel the uneven texture of the scar on your jaw, the makeup you’d been wearing to even everything out now sitting on a soaked cloth in the corner of the room. The media knew you had scars. Fuck, everyone did. But your strict skincare and makeup routine ensured that many didn’t know just how bad they were. 

“You have makeup on, though.”

“But it doesn’t always hide the… droopyness.” You frown. Feeling how one side of your mouth moves less than the other. “Be honest, does it look like I'm having a stroke? Like a chronic one, or some shit?”

“No, you're just dramatic. ” Oscar puts his chin on top of your head, huffing. “The new treatments have been helping.” 

The huff you make isn’t as convincing as he’d like it to be. But you’re too tired to try and argue with him anymore as you let yourself try to relax and focus on the next and final day of testing tomorrow. 

tags: @charlesgirl16 @boo8008 @the-holy-trinity-l @laura-naruto-fan1998 @amalialeclerc @vellicora @st0rmzi3 @poppyflower-22 @hiireadstuff @seonghwaexile @mrsmelinda @actuallyazriel @noam-rosier-icr

[bitchface24-7]

THE REALM’S DELIGHT - JAYVIK X READER

synopsis: as the only surviving daughter of Viserys and Aemma Targaryen, you've been cherished and adored throughout the seven kingdoms. The small people and high-borns dubbing you “The Realms Delight” There is a catch though, you have finally reached your majority of eight and ten moons. You're expected to find a king-consort to further legitimize your status as heir to the iron throne. There's only two men you want; your cousins Viktor and Jayce Talis. The dragon has three heads after all…

warnings: house of the dragon x arcane, incest (cmon y'all it's house of the dragon), age gap (the reader is 18, Viktor and Jayce are 22 and 23 respectively), period-typical sexism, expectations of having heirs, ableist comments, Grammarly is my beta

genre: m/m/f

p.s. Don't like, don't read. The topics in this story may upset some of you. Discretion is advised; hate is not welcome.

Being heir is both rewarding and exhausting. You're expected to be perfect at all hours of the day, even as you sleep. Yet, you would take this life over being a peasant. You know you'll never know hunger, or the frigid cold. You'll always be clean, and healthy. When you become queen, you'll ensure your small folk are properly taken care of.

But at this moment, you'd rather be anywhere else.

“The princess must find a match. It is her duty as heir to lead the seven kingdoms with strength and honour. Having a king-consort ensures not only that. But that heirs will be born.”

“You should reconsider this Your Grace, having a female as heir… the people will riot.”

At that, your father King Viserys slams his hands onto the table, “I had a son who died three days after he left my wife’s womb. I'm blessed my dear Aemma survived. The seven kingdoms needs a healthy, strong, resilient heir. Who cares if she doesn't have a cock between her legs. The small folk love her and you as my advisors and all the high-borns swore to her as your heir to the iron throne. Do not assume I made my decision on a whim.”

The advisors quiet down at that. You sit there primly and smugly.

“But you are right.” Viserys adds, his anger leaving him as he sits back down, “You, my dear daughter, need to find a husband. A tour shall be made so you can travel all of Runeterra to find you a match.”

Your spine stiffens and you purse your lips. There's only two men you've ever wanted, Viktor and Jayce Talis. A cousin line from the Targaryens. They both hold undeniable beauty and valaryian features. Their high noses and cheekbones, delicate features, plump lips, and snow white hair.

They've been your best friends for as long as you can remember. You're not giving up this chance to get what you've always wanted.

“I already have a match in mind, Father.” You state. Your voice poised and face serene. The advisors all look to each other in a mixture of shock and confusion. Your father just raises his eyebrows and smiles lovingly at you. Otto Hightower looks like he's swallowed a lemon.

“Who do have in mind, sweet girl?”

You sniff lightly, trying to gain confidence to admit who you've been desiring since you were a small girl. This would've been so much easier if it was just you and your father. But it’s not, and as the future queen; you need to get used to doing hard tasks.

“I want my cousins, Viktor and Jayce Talis.”

Pandemonium. Advisors start arguing, Otto tries to spill poison in your fathers ear, and your father just looks contemplative.

“The brothers?! Why on earth would you want those two?! A minor house of House Targaryen is not suitable for the future queen.”

“The scholars? How would they make strong king consorts? Besides, two husbands. That's unheard of!”

You sneer, “The seven kingdoms was founded by a throuple. King Aegon, and the Queens Visenya and Rhaenys. Or have you forgotton about that detail?”

Your fathers advisors can't help but to agree with you on that. You're right. One advisor is still stubborn on your choice; and makes a fatal mistake.

“At least the bigger one is a skilled swordsman. The cripple is useless; he will pass on his deformities onto future children.”

At that comment you snap, “Say another word against Viktor and I’ll have my sworn guard slit your throat due to treasonous claims.”

Your guard, Sevika, looks more than ready to spill some blood. The advisor blanched and kept his mouth shut after that.

The only comment that matters is your fathers.

“I thought the young Jayce was matched to be with the young Heiress Medarda?”

You fiddle with the rings on your fingers, he was, until the match fell through. You mention as much to your father; who contemplates a bit more.

“Why those two? You could have anyone in all the seven kingdoms.”

This answer comes to you as easy as breathing, “I only want them. I've known them all my life and I know they'd treat me well. They're intelligent, understand politics, have ties to our culture, and would do anything to protect me.”

Your father nods at that, and you feel hope surge up in your chest. Until Otto Hightower opens his mouth.

“Your Grace, if I may add—”

You cut him off before he can spew anymore lies with the final blow to ensure you'll get what you want, “I’d be happy with them, father.”

With that, your father King Viserys smiles; and you've got your dream match secured.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Viktor and Jayce are researching in their lab when a guard comes in, unannounced.

“What have we said about not knocking—” Viktor is cut off his tirade when the guard holds up a letter.

“It’s for the two of you. It was sent from the King.”

The two scholars stop in their tracks. The King? What would be write a letter to the two of them about? It takes a few moments before it hits them.

You.

Jayce rushes over to grab the letter and thanks the guard, he quickly shuts the door and assures it’s locked. Sitting beside Viktor, he breaks the wax seal and quietly reads allowed.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

To Viktor and Jayce of the Vassal House of Talis

You have been formally chosen by the Princess of the Seven Kingdoms, your cousin, to become her King Consorts. Reply to this letter by the eve of tomorrow, confirming you have read and understand this matter.

P.s. My daughter has told me she only ever wanted you two. Do not mess this up, continue to treat her as you have over the years, and your rule shall be prosperous and full of love and joy.

King Viserys of House Targaryen. King of the Andalls and the Roynar, and the First Men. Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Jayce and Viktor sit there in stunned silence. You did it. You actually did it!

You've made it so they officially become your husbands! No more late night rendezvous. No more potential matches. No more sneakily finding empty rooms to fuck. No more moon tea.

They get to proudly be yours.

The two men throw themselves into their work table and try to find some parchment and an inkwell with a feather.

They've read the letter and fully understand what's to come. You've made them and your dreams come true.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You can't help but sigh happily as you brush your long silver locks. You've been filled with a euphoria you're unsure you'll ever feel again. Its like you're living in a dream.

Everything that's expected of you no longer feels crushing, overbearing, or impossible to accomplish. As long as you have Viktor and Jayce by your side, you can do anything.

Your maid helps you put on an elaborate red gown, which is bejewelled and full of pearls. It has some small black detailing that when looked at closely, resembles dragons. Your hair for today is done in an elaborate braid, with half of your hair left down to frame your face. You can't forget your rings and valaryian steel necklace that your boys gifted you on your sixteenth name day.

They're coming to Kingslanding. They're venturing out of Piltover from Highgarden and are coming to the heart of the seven kingdoms. You're so excited you can barely stand still. When you hear the guard announce their arrival, you try your best to not run to them.

You manage a brisk walk instead.

You grab them and pull them into a desperate hug, one they fiercely return. They're here, they're yours. You still can't believe it.

Jayce cups one of your cheeks and Viktor has a hand on your waist. The three of you couldn't look anymore in love.

Your father recognizes that look on your faces. It’s how he and Aemma look to one another. In that moment, Viserys knew he made the right choice.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The three of you are in the solar, appreciating each others company before Viktor smirks.

“One last taboo dalliance before we wed?”

Jayce chokes on a sugared orange slice as you laugh.

“My dear Viktor, I was about to suggest the exact same thing.”

Jayce just looks to the two of you in loving disbelief, “Where shall we go?”

You stand up and brush your skirt, “There's a secret passageway to my room from here. Don't tell me you forgot about it Jayce.”

Jayce quirks a smile and Viktor laughs, “How could we forget, we memorized the guard's shift change, and when the best time to use the passageways was when we were sixteen. Just so we could hide away together.”

“Now you're going to us it to fuck me.”

The three of you rush out of the solar like horny teenagers. Well, close enough.

Hopefully, you can secretly get one last moon tea before you wed in a week. Then whatever you three do in the bedroom afterwards has no consequences.

This may be one of my shortest fics but I desperatly just wanted to get this idea out into the universe. To all the anti-Jayvik shippers who insist they're brothers. Now they're brothers and still fuck one another. Happy now?

[synvil]

boyfriend duties // bf! soft! rafe cameron hcs

synopsis : your boyfriend showing his attention on you.

“the hell are you doing, stupid?”

rafe reaches over and takes a hold of your wrist, pulling you over towards the inner side of the sidewalk, making you stumble but balance yourself out and look to him. “what? what’s wrong?” you ask, confusion lacing your eyes and he rolls his own as he moves to hold your hand in his.

“Just shut up and stand over here.”

rafe cameron was by no means the perfect boyfriend, but once you two were together, he was always keeping an eye on you, being there for you when you least expected it.

after all, you were his. he didn’t and shouldn’t need to focus on anything or anyone else but you.

“you sure you don’t want the umbrella? it’s gonna rain, baby.” rafe warns and you dismiss him with a wave, rushing off to sarah’s car. “i’ll be fine, babe.”

if only you listened. and now an hour later, at the beach…

“shit, rain?” you bring a hand out to catch a rain droplet on your palm and frown as your friends begin to gather their things. “I thought you checked the weather, [name]!” sarah frowns as she looks up, using her purse as an umbrella and kie huffs. “so much for a beach day.”

“sorry, i thought it wasn’t going to rain.” you murmur and watch as the rainfall starts to pick up, your movements quickening further.

suddenly, you feel a shield above you which blocked the rainfall from pouring on you and look to see an umbrella. “huh?”

“next time you’ll listen to me.” rafe sighs, holding the umbrella between the two of you and you smile sheepishly, seeing your friends becoming soaked in the rain. “but what about them?”

rafe briefly shrugs, not caring. “not my problem. i only brought one for you.” and with that, he guides you over to his car, leaving kie and sarah alone.

you sigh, using a magazine off the table to act as a fan, cooling yourself off as you and rafe sit outside at the country club with some of his friends, relaxing and eating.

unfortunately it was quite hot and you constantly adjust your hair.

rafe notices from the corner of his eye, not saying anything when he sees you start to gather your hair up into a bundle. and when you reach for your wrists, notice the lack of a hair tie, he extends his wrist out to you.

“?” your brows are furrowed when he suddenly holds out his arm and he keeps his eyes down on his phone mindlessly. it was then you noticed a small black band on his wrist and you smile faintly, carefully pulling the hair tie off his wrist and use it to tie your hair up.

and when he sees your lips curling into a bigger smile and your body relaxing at the more cooling hairstyle, he smiles to himself a bit, returning his focus to his phone.

and when you accidentally knock something off the table, sitting on the end, you lean down to pick it up.

rafe, talking with topper, brings his hand down to cover the edge of the table to protect you from hitting your head as you return upright, setting your fallen napkin aside.

you realize what rafe just did and feel your heart fluttering again when he pulls his hand away and down to hold your hand while you shyly pick up your utensil to continue to eat, a soft smile lacing your lips.

all part of his boyfriend duties, because for you, he’s always there.

a/n : much needed comfort hcs <3 please don’t hesitate to reach out to me for thoughts or such! i’m always happy to talk :)

such an abrupt ending lol i’m in a mind fog.

synvil™️.

[writinginatree]

Cared For

Relationship(s): Bodhi Durran & Xaden Riorson & Riorson!reader

Summary: Xaden takes care of you and Bodhi after RSC.

Warnings: Mentions of torture, injuries, nonsexual nudity (showering together), reader has heart problems

You stumble from the interrogation chamber with the rest of your squad, blinking into the late afternoon sunlight as the professor who just finally released you drones on and on. You should be listening, in case he's talking about something important, like having to do this shit again or something, but you can't focus on the words, mindlessly clinging to Bodhi, whose arm is linked with yours so you can help each other stay on your feet.

Well, okay — if you're being honest, it's mostly Bodhi helping you. He's worse for wear too, but still faring decidedly better than you.

You're not sure why it is that they went especially hard on you — because your father had been the Great Betrayer, because they recognized you as the weakest link of your squad, or because you refused to show any pain and they were determined to change that. In the end, it doesn't matter. You didn't break. You survived. That's what you have to focus on. Another one of the stupid trials this cursed place puts you through that you've overcome. One step closer to eventually making it out of here alive.

Finally the professor is done talking and allows you to leave.

The walk back into the quadrant proper passes in a blur, one stumbling step after the other as Bodhi pulls you along. Since he's well aware of your aversion to healers, and since neither of you is that badly hurt, he doesn't bother to suggest going to the infirmary and takes you straight to the dormitories. Your room is closer to the stairs than his, so that's where you go, slumping onto the bed side by side, too exhausted to lift a finger, though you know you need to get cleaned up, or at the very least remove your boots. In a moment, you tell yourself. As soon as the room stops spinning, you'll get up and do it.

Minutes later, a knock sounds on the door, startling your poor, tired heart into doubling the pace of its beating.

"I think Cuir asked Sgaeyl to send us Xaden," Bodhi soothingly murmurs, sitting up and unlocking the door with lesser magic.

Sure enough it's your brother who enters the room a second later, grimacing at the state he finds the both of you in. "Shit, are you guys okay?"

"Yeah," you and Bodhi mutter, "Sure."

Admittedly, that's a bit of an exaggeration. But okay is a flexible term, and you suppose things could be worse. You know the question was just reflex anyway, and Xaden is perfectly aware that no one is ever truly okay after just getting out of an RSC torture session.

He comes over to the bed, crouching down beside it. You feel shadows stirr underneath and all around you — no doubt Xaden 'subtly' taking inventory of your injuries. You've lost track of what hurts where about an hour into the exercise, your whole body one big ache, but you're pretty sure most of the damage is superficial. It's your heart giving you the most trouble, thanks to having missed this morning's dose of your medication, and simple dehydration.

"Are you feeling strong enough to shower?" Xaden asks.

Bodhi nods, but you hesitate. Getting up the stairs without fainting had been challenge enough, so you roll over to turn a pleading look on your cousin. "Can we go together?"

When Bodhi nods, you nod too, and Xaden helps you to your feet.

"Alright," he says, "you two get cleaned up, and I'll be back with some food and a first-aid kit."

The showers are blessedly empty, and you let yourself plop down on the floor, the cold tiles digging into your bare knees as Bodhi turns on the water, a less than lukewarm spray raining down on you. Cold as you feel, you would have preferred your water steaming hot, but you know that would only make your already too low blood pressure worse, so you don't complain.

Bodhi sits down behind you, takes a handful of soap and gently massages it into your scalp, careful to avoid pulling all the tangles that have formed in your hair from the rough treatment you'd been given.

"You don't have to," you half-heartedly mutter.

In truth, you're not entirely sure you can muster the energy to do it yourself, and with the way you're finally starting to relax under his touch, Bodhi rightfully ignores the protest and continues to help you wash.

By the time you dry off and pull on fresh clothes, you're shivering with cold, but your head is a little clearer, and you don't feel like you'll pass out any second anymore, either.

Xaden is already waiting in your room when you return to it, the soft glow of mage lights illuminating the space since dusk has fallen while you were in the shower. He has brought not only the promised food and first-aid supplies, but also Garrick.

Taking a seat on your bed, you don't bother reminding him that it's illegal for more than three of you to be together; he's doubtlessly well aware of the trouble you'd be in if you're caught, and simply doesn't care because he can tell how much you need the company right now.

You shudder to think that he and Garrick had to go through the same experience last year without anyone to comfort them. Thinking back, you try to remember if you'd noticed any injuries on them around this time of year, but you can't recall. Even if you had noticed, Xaden would have brushed you off with some excuse to stop you from worrying.

The thought makes you frown. You have no doubt they'd been as hard on Xaden as they were on you — probably even harder. It's not fair that he'd had to get through that on his own, that he always has to go through everything alone because he thinks that's what being the one with all the responsibility means. Ever since the apostasy, since he took on that responsibility for all your lives, he never lets himself be weak in front of anyone — even you. Of course you're grateful for everything he's done, is still doing, his care and protection, but you wish he would let himself be taken care of, too, when he needs it.

His hand on your shoulder snaps you out of these thoughts, and you blink up at him, wondering when you closed your eyes. The plain worry on his face makes your eyes swim with tears, and you tell yourself to pull it together — to no avail.

"They did that to you too last year," you mumble, not quite a question. "You should have let us be there for you."

"First-years aren't allowed to know about RSC," Xaden reminds you, hand on your chin to angle your head sideways so he can get a better look at a scrape on your jaw.

You know that's not the reason he kept it from you, at least not the only one, but you let it go, knowing he just wants your best.

Treating your wounds doesn't take long. Mostly it's bruises — a lot of them, swollen and hot to the touch, decorating you in various shades of red, purple, and blue. There isn't much Xaden and Garrick can do about those, though they diligently smear them with some stinky salve that's supposed to soothe the worst of the ache.

To you it just feels cold and nothing more, but you don't complain. Not about the useless stinky ointment, nor about the burn of disinfectant in your open scrapes and cuts. You're simply too exhausted to do anything but force yourself to stay sitting upright, letting Xaden do whatever he wants. He knows better what you need right now than you do, anyway. You're limp in his hands, letting him turn you this way and that to get at all your wounds, his shadows supporting you when needed.

He pays extra attention to your wrists, the skin there rubbed raw from your fruitless attempts to slip free of the chains they'd put on you in the interrogation chamber. Even through the fog of exhaustion hanging over your mind, you don't miss the sorrow that passes over your brother's face as he takes in the harm you did to yourself. He is uncharacteristically gentle as he bandages your wrists, even going so far as to press a little kiss on top of each, the way your dad used to do when you were little. You tear up again at the action, have to bite your trembling bottom lip to keep from crying.

Done with your wounds, Xaden helps you get comfortable sitting against the wall with a pillow at your back, a soft blanket over your lap and tucked in around your waist. Bodhi already sits next to you much the same way; the comforting warmth of his shoulder against yours helps you ground yourself in the present.

Xaden puts a bowl of soup into your hands, ordering you to eat. It's not quite hot anymore, having stood on the desk while Xaden and Garrick patched you guys up, but still warm enough, and you consider it a bonus that you can't burn your mouth on it anymore.

When you're done, Garrick takes the empty bowls and leaves, but Xaden remains.

"I guess we'd better get you two to sleep," he says. "You've had a long day."

"Can Bodhi sleep here tonight?"

"Does Bodhi want to sleep here?" Xaden counters, looking to your cousin for answer.

To your relief, he agrees. You're not sure you could stand being alone right now, with the memory of today's torture still so fresh in your mind and the lingering dizziness you can't seem to shake.

"Okay," Xaden nods. "Then he can."

After tucking the both of you into bed, Xaden turns to leave. Before you can think better of it, you reach for his hand, silently pleading with him to stay a little longer. He sinks back to the floor beside the bed, brushing a hand over your face in an attempt to get you to close your eyes.

"Sleep. I'm here."

Bodhi moves closer — at this point he's practically lying on top of you — and butts his head against Xaden's hand with a little whine. Your brother gets the hint, and starts to pet Bodhi's hair, his other hand still gripped tight in yours. He doesn't need to have his hands free to make you close your eyes again — a soft layer of shadows descends on your face like a blanket, leaving you in complete darkness. It should be unsettling, but somehow, it isn't. Encased in the safety of your brother's shadow, you can finally keep your eyes shut and actually try to fall asleep.

Which is easier said then done, despite your exhaustion. While your body is fully ready to shut down, your mind won't stop racing. Bodhi is having the same problem, if the way you feel him fidget is any indication.

Xaden starts softly humming, and after a moment, you recognize the melody as an old Tyrrish lullaby. It had been your favorite one as a child, but after all these years, you'd almost forgotten it. Now the words come back to you like magic, even if Xaden doesn't sing them.

Trying to remember the song text and sing along in your mind gives you something to focus on other than the day's events; your racing thoughts can finally settle down. Slowly the tension leaves your body and your breathing evens out as sleep descents over you.

But just as you finally drift into that calm drowsy state, your heart skips a beat and you jolt wide awake again.

Xaden is quick to soothe you. The shadow over your face disappears, replaced by others that gently hold you so you don't startle Bodhi by sitting up. Xaden gives your hand a reassuring squeeze, more shadows caressing your face as he murmurs, "Shh, you're okay."

You slowly relax again, nuzzling your face into Bodhi's shoulder and mirroring his slow, deep breathing. Xaden starts to hum the lullaby again.

He stays until he is sure both of you are fast asleep, then he gently removes your hand from his, placing it in Bodhi's instead, and slips into the hall.

[veltana]

Stranded - 2

✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Fem!Reader

✦ Word count: ~2,3 k

✦ Rating: Mature

✦ Warnings/tags: Grumpy mountain man!Bucky, don't ask me about US geography just go with it, eventual relationship/romance/smut.

✦ Summary: You leave the cabin to escape Bucky's attitude, braving the cold, but it ends up being more than you bargained for.

✦ Note: For chapter 2, you guys voted for protective!Bucky! Next poll will be up tomorrow!

Stranded is an interactive story were you the reader gets to vote on what happens in the next chapter. You're also welcome to send in suggestions on what you want to happen in future parts! Everything is tagged with #stranded series. Please take a moment to reblog this fic if you liked it! Comments and asks are always welcome ❤️

Series Masterlist

Masterlist | AO3

The gentle crackling of the wood stove should be soothing. How many times had you dreamed of escaping to a place just like this? And yet, it feels more like the relentless ticking of a clock, counting down. Never in your life have you felt so unwelcome in a place you'd been invited into.

You can hear Bucky in his room not far away, the floor creaking as he walks around, then the springs from his mattress whining as he lays down.

If your clothes dry quickly maybe you can just leave. It would probably be better to sleep in your car and freeze to death than endure spending any more time with Bucky.

The isolation feels understandable to you now. He clearly hates people. But the thing you can't wrap your head around is why he would invite you in and then be disgusted by your company. It's confusing, to say the least.

You busy yourself by making the bed. After you're done you check your clothes but they're still wet. With a sigh, you lay down and pull the covers over you. You can rest your eyes for a few minutes and then maybe the clothes will be dry enough for you to leave.

You wake abruptly to the sound of howling wind and sit up. It's dark outside the windows and quiet from the wood stove. Checking your phone, you see that a couple of hours have passed. Your clothes are probably okay now, but before you can muster the energy to leave the bed, sleep pulls you under once more.

The next time you wake it's from the sound of a door opening. You lay still, listening to Bucky move around the small room, put more logs into the stove, and then go to the kitchen. "Want some coffee?" he asks, his voice cutting through the quiet. You have no idea how he knew you were awake. "Sure," you reply, doing your best to ignore the warmth that blooms in your chest at the sound of his still-sleepy tone. Despite being an asshole, Bucky is very handsome.

As the old machine starts to gurgle and sputter, you get up and look out the window. It's still windy but no more snow than what was already on the ground yesterday, which is a relief. You wouldn't want to be snowed in with the world's biggest grump. On the other hand, people always say hate sex is good. Then you mentally slap yourself for even going there. Bucky would probably agree to touch you if you were dying. Maybe.

As you turn back around you're greeted with the sight of Bucky in the middle of the room with a big block of a phone pressed to his ear. His jeans are tight over his thighs and his henley snug over his shoulders. The scowl seems to be a permanent fixture on his face.

“It's Bucky,” he says into the phone. “Yeah, no I'm fine, do you have a truck available to pick up a stranded car down by the big road?”

The person on the other end chats away and Bucky starts pacing the room.

“No it's not for me, I said I'm fine.” The sigh that comes out of him feels like it comes from his soul. “It's for a… a friend, you could say.” He glances over at you and you shrug. Better to be called a friend than an intruder.

“Hal, I don't have time for this. Do you have a truck available or not?” You watch as his shoulders sag in defeat and you know the answer without him needing to state it. He says a short goodbye before looking over at you.

“Let me guess, no one is available to get my car?” “Not for a few days, it's a small mechanic shop and they're backed up at the moment.”

You don't dare to joke about Bucky being stuck with you for a few more days. Instead, you quickly gather your now-dry clothes and head to the bathroom to change. Hesitantly, you get rid of the warm, oversized hoodie. You fold them and put them on the counter. He's probably gonna burn them once you've left but you don't need to know that.

The cabin smells like coffee and you make yourself a cup that you sip on while tidying up the bed. Bucky hasn't offered any breakfast and you're not gonna ask. The coffee will last you to the car and you have snacks there. He sits by the table with a book and his cup, not acknowledging you.

After you've folded all the linen, you drain your cup, use the bathroom one more time since you're not sure when you'll be able to again, and then start putting on your jacket.

“Where are you going?” Bucky asks, and you look over at him. His scowl is more concerned this time, but it's not enough to change your decision. “To my car.” Bucky glances out the window. “The wind is strong.” You shrug. “I need to get out of here,” you simply say. No need to point out that he’s a terrible host. He answers with a hum.

You're about to thank him for taking you in and giving you food and clothes, but he's absorbed in his book again. So you pull your hood up and head out.

***

Yesterday, you hoped to reach your destination before dark. Now you would rather walk anywhere in the pitch black if the wind would just calm down. Despite your thick jacket and winter boots, you're freezing, but at least you made it to your car.

It looks intact and you get in to get away from the wind. Despite knowing nothing will happen you try the ignition again but the car is still dead. All the way there you fantasized about it magically turning on and you driving out of there, warm and towards a place you'd be welcome.

With numb fingers, you unlock your phone but there is still no signal. Yesterday you decided that walking towards town wasn’t an option, but now it’s the only one you have. And if the opportunity presents itself you’ll be brave and stick out your thumb.

As you stuff more things into your backpack you wonder if this is one of the times where your stubbornness is getting the better of you. Then again, you are socially intelligent enough to know when you're not wanted. You're not sure why your thoughts keep returning to Bucky since you’ve known him for less than 24 hours. And known is to word it strongly. Barely interacted with is more like it.

You close the trunk of your car with a bang and start walking. Maybe the annoyance at yourself will keep you warm because the wind has not gotten any warmer. The road is as deserted as when you first got stranded. You try to keep a lookout for cars but you constantly have to put your head down as you walk forward.

Time passes but you're not sure how long you've walked or how far you've gotten. If you turn around and you can still see your car, you're gonna lay down and just die, because it feels like you've been walking for hours. The snacks you had in the car weren't nearly enough and you're starting to get hungry. What you wouldn't give for a taste of Bucky’s hot soup.

You feel like you're in a cartoon, thought bubbles with his name and face popping up above your head constantly and you want to wave them away. But you're so cold, tired, and hungry. The ground at the side of the road sure is looking inviting for a nap.

Despite better judgment, you stop. Your legs ache and feel like jelly. Tears burn your eyes because you're mad at yourself for being so stubborn. And mad at Bucky for being an asshole.

You have to keep walking. It's the only way. But you don't want to. You want to sit down.

The ground is cold and hard, but also somehow soft. Soft enough to want to lie down. You can just rest your eyes for a few minutes then you'll get back up and walk again.

A deep sigh escapes you as your body relaxes into the hard surface and suddenly you start to feel warm again.

***

It isn’t like Bucky cares where you are. At least that's what he tells himself. You said you were going to your car, he thought to get something. He could have driven you but he just wanted to start his day slow and have his coffee before running out.

Since you aren't back, he assumes you got the car going.

The sat phone goes off and startles him as he sits deep in thought.

“Hey, it's Hal! I managed to get a tow for your friend's car, I have it by the shop but it's gonna be a few days until we can get to it, is that alright?”

“She isn't with you?” Bucky asks and deep lines form between his eyebrows.

“Eh, no, the car was empty. Wait, did you have a—”

Whatever Hal is about to say gets cut off as Bucky hangs up. You weren't by the car, but you're still not back. So where are you?

A tinge of panic rises in Bucky's chest, a feeling he refuses to analyze more at this moment. He heads for the door, unsure what he's gonna do, but he needs to go out and look for you.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” he tells himself as he starts his car. “She's found someone to catch a ride with. She doesn't want you to look for her. She doesn't care about you, so why should you care about her?”

But still, he drives slowly so as not to miss anything.

***

The sound of a car door slamming shut starts you awake. Fuck, you missed an opportunity to hitch a ride, is all you can think, and you try to sit up, open your eyes, and speak but your body is slow and sluggish. Then you hear a familiar voice. “What the fuck are you doing?”

In the next moment, you feel yourself being lifted. With great effort you manage to open your eyes and see the one man you'd hoped never to run into again. He places you in his truck, buckling you into the seat, before rounding it and getting in, not saying a word before turning on the empty road and heading back the way you came.

“No,” you press out hoarsely. “What were you doing?! Trying to walk to the nearest town?!” “Mmhm,” you answer and lean your head back. You're still tired and hungry, but the car is pleasantly warm. “How can you be so stupid? It's a two-hour drive!” You want to answer that you couldn't stay but all the energy has left your body so you just shrug.

It feels like you're back at the cabin in no time, as if you didn't make any headway on your walk at all.

Bucky reaches over to unbuckle you and carries you up to the cabin, putting you on the floor in front of the wood stove.

As he's putting more logs into the stove your head starts to spin, and a second later you’re lying on your side, having tipped over from the vertigo. “For fuck's sake!” Bucky growls. “Dizzy,” you manage to croak. “Just lay there until I've warmed up some soup,” he says and walks away. The heat from the fire makes sweat form on your brow, still bundled as you are in your thick jacket. You fumble to take it off, but your fingers won't cooperate. In record time, Bucky has a bowl of yesterday's soup on the floor next to you, and you've managed to get the zipper down a few inches.

With surprising care, far more than you expect, he gently helps you sit up and unzips your jacket, then assists with your boots as well. As he grabs your hand you can feel the stark difference between your cold fingers and his warm skin. No wonder you couldn't move the zipper.

After, he scooches in behind you so that his legs bracket your body, keeping you upright, before picking up the bowl and holding it in front of you. “I'm not feeding you, just be careful,” his grumpy voice says.

The spoon shakes as you pick it up, you lean forward at the same time to not spill anything. It's slow but it works. Feeling returns to your fingers, making them tingle and hurt. The food tastes amazing, but that's maybe because you're famished. It takes some time to finish the bowl, but once you do, you feel pleasantly full. There's a light, almost drunken sensation from how good you feel—warm, cared for, and nestled between the legs of a handsome man. All you have to do is overlook the minor detail that he happens to despise you. Why would he come and get you? You don't understand. Maybe he was headed somewhere else and happened to see you. But then again, why stop? You don’t mean anything to him.

“Why'd you stop?” you find yourself asking. The flames dance in front of you and you resist the urge to lean back into Bucky. There is no answer, just like you expect, and maybe that’s for the better.

Despite it still being early evening, you sigh and say, "I'm tired," as you push yourself up. Heading toward the couch, you sway on your feet, but Bucky is right behind you. It isn't until you're halfway there that you realize he's gently steering you toward his bedroom instead.

Too tired to question or analyze the situation, you head straight to bed. Your last thought is that you aren’t dying, but Bucky still touched you willingly.

[starrrlights]

... I'll save you p1 p2

(I guess reader already knows that Ekko is a firelight??? It was kinda in-between and I didn't want to rewrite the whole thing)

Ekko tried to make the trip back to the firelights base as fast as he could with you on his hover board, zipping through the city at an alarming rate.

He held you close to him, trying to avoid touching any wounds, but that seemed nearly impossible from how badly you were beat up.

He kept murmuring to himself; "You're going to be fine," "just keep breathing." But it seemed more like he was saying those things to himself, trying to keep himself together as he felt your body slump against his.

Once he got to the base, other Firelights rushed over to Ekko, asking questions on where has he been, what happened? But voices died down once he saw who was in his arms.

Confusion met the grounds as the firelights stared at their leader as if he had grown two heads. Ekkos' focus wasn't on them, though, but it was on you and to get you as alive and safe as possible.

He took you to his living area, putting you on the bed as careful as could considering your injuries.

There were limited supplies due to not really being near any providing resources other than the tree and stolen outside sources. But he would make do you what he had if it helped you.

He grabbed an emergency kit that he kept for himself in his room and grabbed some towels, bringing them to you. He pressed the towels to the areas that were bleeding heavily, working quickly to patch you up as well as he could.

He wasn't too fazed by the blood, hell, he's seen his own team members die right in front of him, or at least heavily injured.

He made sure to clean up your wounds as best as possible, and stitched up the ones that desperately needed stitching. It was messy, undeniably. And ekko had the deep gut feeling that, perhaps, you might just not make it through the night. With that much blood loss, it wouldn't surprise him.

You had always fought physically, sure. But he had never gotten further in thought of what it actually would be like if you were gone. And he didn't want to think of it know.

...

a few firelights came in and helped, out of faithfulness to their leader than out of desire to help you.

You were weak looking, the blood loss and the fact that you were so well beaten up didn't sit right with Ekko. He had the urge to change everything that had ever happened so it could be more like the alt!universe, the one where you were happy and healthy and didn't have a single battle scar or have blood on your hands.

But deep down, he knew that was impossible. He couldn't just change everything that had happen with a snap of a finger. And he couldn't change you, he knew that. He had accepted that years ago along with Powder becoming Jinx. He could only hope for the best, that you'd stay alive.

Night became day, and as fast as it was, Ekko felt as if it wasn't fast enough.

You were now just, laying there, with bandages adoring your skin and some having slight bleeding through. He would have to change that soon. He stayed with you incase of something happening or you were to wake up. He couldn't pull himself away from you, not yet.

You became conscious a few hours later, and the only thing that alerted Ekko that you were awake were the groans and hisses of pain. You were definitely better than before, but was still in bad condition, so you couldn't really move before something would shoot up in pain.

You saw Ekko come towards you, unable to see just right from just waking up, so it looked like to you he was going to make sure you stayed dead. So, it obviously led you to fight or flight mode, ready to swing in such an injured state. But it was obvious to him that it wasn't the case, but he had to get some help from Scar to hold you down until you tired yourself out, enough to where you wouldn't try to swing at somebody.

...(idk how to end that but I really want to move to the next scene)...

You were ignoring him, as if that wasn't as obvious to everyone else as it was to you. Before he knew it, you were rewrapping an arm wound and ignoring any help from him. It wasn't too hard to guess why, you had asked him to practically finish you off before he brought you here. You couldn't tell that if you were pissed at him for not doing that, or that you were pissed off because you were surprised that he hadn't. After all, there had been some close calls before when you had to guard shipment of shimmer for Silco and amd the firelights were there.

You were sure that somebody, or at most Silco, was wondering about your disappearance. It had been to be at least afternoon now, so a sight without you doing rounds was surely gonna put you into trouble. But that was later's problems. right now, you just had to find a way put and figure out why Ekko was being 'nice' to you.

Some kid came in a little while later, and offered water, which you took graciously. Kids weren't as bad as adults, they still believed in things adults would tall them, and were dumb enough to be obedient in some ways more than others.

The water felt great inside your throat, soothing whatever scratchiness had been there. You moved slowly to sit up, still in pain but wasn't as unbearable as before when you woke up.

"You should really lie down if you want your words to heal correctly."

Ekko's words brought you out of thought, bringing you to finally look at him. You could see him more clearly now, seeing the way his hair was tied and how he dressed himself. It was different from the way he looked as a firelight, but that was probably a good thing.

"I thought you'd actually do it."

Your words brought silence between the two of you. You couldn't help but see the hesitation on Ekko's face, bringing your brows to furrow down.

"...couldn't bring myself to."

You stared at him, watching every micro expression that could appear on his face. You couldn't help but feel a lot of things right now, you were pissed, annoyed, numb almost... but also kinda glad. But you couldn't put it into words, everything not forming and spilling out like how you wanted it to go. You pursed your lips together, unable to say your thought, but the next closest to it.

"...good."

------‐--------‐-------------------------------------------

I actually don't know how to end this omggggg

I ♡ cliffhangers, guys ♡

Have a great day/night yall

[respectthepetty]

The Heart Killers' Colors Parallels? - Ep. 7

Before I watch the next episode of The Heart Killers in a few hours, I need to sit in my truth — as far as episode seven I am concerned, Style and Kant are a Red Rascal and a Green Guy, but they've been turning blue as they fall in love with Fadel and Bison, so they can help them calm down. Therefore, everyone is being tamed.

Kant and Style are best buddies who are worried about each other.

And they should be worried about each other since they are living the same life!

Several people have pointed out that Style and Bison get along because they are both brazen while Kant and Fadel are taking care of their younger brothers and willing to do anything for them. The characters are the same text, but different font.

Style and Kant's (hit)men are in love with them (and they aren't faking it as much as they would like to believe).

Which can be seen by Fadel and Bison being surrounded by their men's true colors.

But that's the thing that keeps throwing me off about Kant and Style because I don't think they've actually hidden their true colors. Kant is a tattoo artist with a record, a younger brother, and a fear of the water. Style is a flirty mechanic whose mom died from cancer. The only thing they've really hidden from Fadel and Bison is that they know exactly who their guys are - hitmen.

Bison, who carries his poison in his ring, gets a necklace from Kant.

Fadel, who carries his poison in his necklace, is presented a ring from Style.

Style and Kant not only know their guys well enough to find their balance jewelry, but Style and Kant are Bison and Fadel.

Or at least them-adjacent.

Bison and Style truly believe in the power of love while Kant and Fadel . . . not so much.

But Fadel and Bison don't really think they know Kant and Style because they believe everything that has happened was part of a con, which is why I think Fadel and Bison are making Kant and Style into (dis)loyal Blue Boys.

People have pointed out that Black Brooder Fadel questioned Red Rascal Bison wearing red outfits in the beginning of the series only to end up wearing a red shirt, but I want to take it further because I find it more interesting that Kant and Style ended up in a pool and a lake wearing blue with guns pointed at them by Bison and Fadel who were wearing blue and red.

It's fascinating that when confronted by these two fiery brothers

That these two turned blue in places that hold water.

Because I think that's the true taming!

We started with the heat.

But maybe we need to douse that fire (you see where they are, right?! bathtub, pool, eh?).

And a chill Green Guy and a wild Red Rascal only made the fire in Fadel and Bison worse.

But if we had two calming Blue Boys . . .

Fadel and Bison would be a hell of a lot cooler.

Therefore, everyone is being tamed.

[k-dokja]

Hi, hi, hi! Love your work! If you so kindly can, could we get some more pre-apocalypse, Dokja...? Specifically, him coming home after work from Minosoft to his s/o welcoming him back with some cute kisses...? Thank you!

He hates long days.

There are times when the days pass in a blur and times when the seconds crawl by like a persistent itch that won't stop pestering him no matter how much he scratches it. Every few minutes or so, he glances up at the clock and then gets disappointed when he sees that there are hours, minutes, and seconds left to go.

The days feel too long and he goes to work every day waiting for the moment he can go home.

When the clock hits six o'clock, he leaves his seat, dashing out of the office before everyone else. No point in lingering in a place where no one would care about his presence.

He texts you before heading home, on the way to the train, while sitting on the train, and on the walk back home from the station. A few times before, he offered to go home with you, but you turned him down with the sweetest of smiles. You always insist that you meet each other at home, citing the double distance he'd have to take if he did that.

He accepts your consideration because it'd upset you to see him going out of his way for you. Never mind that his heart aches more when he has to wait longer to see you.

At least today, you're home ahead of him. His steps hurry at the thought. You texted him about going grocery shopping earlier, your plans for dinner, and how long it would take for him to be home. All mundane questions, but his heart races at the thought.

Being with you. You. You.

He fumbles with the key when he opens the door, cursing under his breath. This is a day like no other, he shouldn't be in a rush for something so simple. But his body moves on its own, foreign to the logic of his mind.

"I'm home—"

You greet him before he gets the chance to search for you. With a hug that almost drags him under, you chase away his train of thoughts, making his chest warm at the feeling of your embrace. "Welcome home!"

He laughs, the sound is so soft and affectionate to his ears, that he doesn't know how he can manage to do it. "Thanks," he squeezes you in his arms but dares not to linger for too long when he feels you pulling back. Before he has the chance to feel disappointed by losing your warmth, you press a soft peck on his cheek, blanking his thoughts once more.

"Come on, accompany me while I make dinner," you grin, tugging him towards the kitchen, "I'm cooking up something special today."

"I feel worried," he teases but all he feels is the warm mush of his inside. "Should we call the doctors beforehand...?"

You usher him towards the chair at the dining table, shushing him with a wave of your hand. "Don't be ridiculous, I'm an amazing cook." You say that with your chest puffed and an all-too-proud smile that melts whatever's left of his heart.

"Even the greatest of cooks needs a sous chef sometimes," he remarks with a dry smile, but it falters when you kiss him again on the other cheek.

"Just stay there and look pretty," you bounce back to the kitchen, leaving him a jumbled mess where he sits.

A retort is already at the tip of his tongue, but when he watches you at work, it comes out quieter than expected, "Yes, ma'am..." Dokja doesn't know what witchery you weave, but it always works so effectively on him.

And if he's being honest, he sees no reason to resist it.

[redlobsterri]

Satoru Gojo, what could I say about that white-haired idiot in my class?

-He's a self-absorbed virgin- I muttered to myself as I pressed the small "send" button with the tip of my cold thumb.

A few hours ago, still sitting on our respective desks in class, I told him to strictly follow the schedule I set to meet up at my apartment.

As expected, this guy hasn't even bothered to read my messages, where I asked if he was actually going to come over.

He's supposed to make his unwelcomed appearance at 5:30. The reason? A stupid group project that, unfortunately, was worth a significant percentage of our final grade, and I really needed to finish college with at least some dignity.

I had to admit that Satoru could be arrogant, childish, self-absorbed, etc., but not an idiot. He knew exactly where he was standing, making him seem more annoying than he actually was. But, of course, my annoyance about that was pure envy that even someone like him could understand math better than me.

Sometimes I really hated that guy, I couldn't stand him. But there were exceptions. Just seeing him sitting at his desk with his long legs spread wide open made me feel a familiar warm pool forming down in my lower abdomen.

Satoru was so damn hot, and he knew it. He had every right to be conceited when he knew he was the one who girls talked about in groupchats with ridiculous names. They shamelessly sent any sexual fantasy with him as a protagonist that popped into their heads in a moment of heat.

Having him in my apartment was going to be fun if I thought about it that way, I guess.

I turned off my phone as soon as I finished sending another message, hoping he would hurry and reply.

Along with a long sigh, I put it in the pocket of my jacket, feeling the cool breeze hit my face and dishevel my hair. The winter cold was killing me and my toes. It was already 5:00, and it seemed like the sun was slowly hiding behind the horizon. I felt like my day was ending faster, which meant less time to finish my tasks and more stress.

Huh, 5:00 already? I hadn't noticed the time at first. I should get going.

And that's exactly what I did. I stood up from the bench and immediately started walking quickly towards my apartment (which wasn't very far from the desolate park where I was sitting). After about fifteen minutes, I arrived at the apartment.

I had planned to clean my room because I was too embarrassed for someone to see my room in disarray, with yesterday's clothes on the floor that I had been too lazy to pick up.

But, apparently, my project partner had arrived a bit earlier than expected.

The sound of his heartbeat pounding rapidly in his ears seemed to have deafened him enough not to notice that I was standing behind the door with a surprised expression, which slowly turned into an embarrassed one, as if I was witnessing something I shouldn't.

The white-haired guy was lying on my messy bed, emitting small moans of clear pleasure. It wasn't hard to figure out what he was doing, since seeing him jerking off with fervor, desperately chasing his orgasm to the limit while inhaling the intoxicating smell of my used underwear wasn't exactly an innocent thing.

-Ah-! The pretty blue-eyed guy whimpered as his muscles tensed and his back arched slightly upwards.

Saying I wasn't turned on would be the most blatant lie I could have come up with.

-Do you need help?- I laughed, catching him off guard. Satoru quickly sat up on the bed, zipping up his pants, but it was too late. I felt a little bad; he was clearly about to come.

He cleared his throat, trying to miserably change the subject from how much he was enjoying himself smelling my clothes while jerking off.

-Uh- I thought you'd arrive later. D-did you bring coffee? You know, like I asked.- It wasn't like him to get nervous and stutter, but he still felt quite sensitive and embarrassed about being caught in such a compromising position.

-Stop playing dumb, Satoru. Answer my question.

The blue-eyed guy swallowed before responding in a shamefaced and quiet tone

-Y-yes, please... I need you.

first one idk

wrote this in my wattpad drafts

no actual smut scene bc im not creative haha

[1o1percentmilk]

first third: i don't get it

second third: o i understand everything that's going on this fucks hard

last third:

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc

[barbatos-sama]

i started feeling rly sick suddenly earlier and it's not going away OTL