#i need to see a doctor really bad aha. except theyre just going to say
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i am so miserable these days it's unreal. let's hear it for the misery folks everyone give it up for the misery 👏👏👏
#i do nothing but sleep and then overeat out of stress and pain and then become more stressed and pained and sleep more#nothing excites me nothing is worth waking up for nothing makes me passionate or happy#i wake up every day after awful nightmares and the first thing i notice is the agony in my hips and it does not improve#i cry 2-3 times a week when i used to never cry at all while on my bipolar meds#i have stories i fall in love with (like the silt verses) but they only fleetingly hold my attention compared to the past#every time i flap about headcanons it's a little more desperate a little more transparently trying to escape my body#having more and more days where i simply play phone games all day because i'm in so much pain that#even merely scrolling tumblr or trying to watch tv / youtube makes me feel pukey#i need to see a doctor really bad aha. except theyre just going to say#you're fat and out of shape. stop eating everything and take a walk#completely disregarding that my hips are both subluxing with every goddamn step i take#it's fucking horrible. it's fucking horrible in here and if i was an animal they'd put me down out of kindness#unfortunately. i am a human being.#negative#disordered eating /#food /#i GUESS.#autoimmune tag
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