#i need to reorganize my shelf AGAIN to fit the

[crazedhopelessromantic]

Hi...

[aangarchy]

Tomorrow i am once again reorganizing my books (and counting how many i have lol) bc i've bought some new ones that need their place to fit. I'm also probably gonna get a new shelf in my living room so i can get more in there bc currently i am running out of space (i already have some in a separate shelf in my bedroom). Either way, currently my books are organized by color (to create a rainbow bc Gay) but should i keep that or reorganize by author or potentially even genre?

[fexalted]

I'd love to hear about "go - and you and i" & "st - the balancing of the sun"!!!

wip title ask meme

(didn't get to this earlier bc i have been taking some ill-advised naps and remaining comatose for hours on end, so thank you for your patience sgdnshfks)

and you and i: so, in my mind i wanted this to be a fic about the ways aziraphale and crowley love each other and how it physically (and perhaps metaphysically) feels different for both of them. but apparently i spent too much time writing it in my head and not enough writing it in the actual file, bc i only have like two scenes and a handful of random sentences lmao (don't be like me) also as a fun fact: the title comes from the Yes song of the same name! absolutely gorgeous track, the lyrics never once mention the word "love," but it has so much love pouring out of it that it doesn't need to

here's one bit of it, feat. aziraphale and grief (don't worry crowley's not dead or anything, they just had a falling out):

You throw yourself into work, taking on as many assignments from Heaven as you can, and running the bookshop in between. In the off hours you catalogue and reorganize and repair anything that needs it. It helps, you think, to have distractions, things to push that all-encompassing grief out of the way so you can breathe again. No time for frivolous things like theaters or bakeries or rereading your favorite poetry collection for the hundredth time. No time to think about anything that might remind you of Crowley.

And it works, to a point. It gets easier to not think about him.

But it always catches up to you, often when you least expect it.

You'll be sitting at your desk, ready to take up the task of rebinding a book, not thinking much about anything at all. And then you'll blink and all at once your vision will have gone completely cloudy, and another blink will have tears flooding uncontrollably from your eyes, and you'll push your chair back quickly to avoid any droplets falling on the book, and fumble to press a handkerchief to your face as you're overtaken by heaving sobs.

And so you'll remain for a length of time that could be anywhere between minutes or days but feels like a century—but it hasn't even been a century, and you've been apart much longer than that before anyway so why does it still hurt so much—

After that time has passed, you'll pick yourself up, and wipe off your face. You'll take the damaged book in hand, closing it carefully and delicately, once more hiding the inscription that Crowley had written on the inside cover when he gave it to you. And you'll put that book away, not back to its rightful shelf, but tucked away far out of sight but never quite out of mind, with all the other things you can't bring yourself to look at anymore.

And then you'll go back to work.

---

the balancing of the sun: this is the mccoy-centric sfs fic i've shared some of before! title comes from the song "on the silent wings of freedom" by Yes. admittedly the chaotic instrumentation does not fit the fic's vibe at all, but the lyrics bro..... "on the darkest night so painful / do you hunger for love / midst the torture of being one" like!!! i'm out of my mind about it

anyway i hadn't made much progress in several months but i went in and finally nailed down the opening paragraphs just for you 😘:

The worst part of this whole mess, in your opinion, isn't that Spock stuck his katra in your head. It was disorienting as hell, of course, to suddenly feel a disconnect from your thoughts and actions, like they were no longer entirely yours. Going from having complete control one moment, to feeling like a mere passenger in your own body the next is not an experience you'd recommend. But to tell the truth—though you'd be hard pressed to ever admit it aloud—there was something... relieving, almost calming, about finding out it was Spock's presence in your head. You may wish he'd had the decency to ask first, or at least would've given you a heads-up beforehand, but no, having Spock in your mind isn't the worst part.

And it's not the subtle but all too noticeable way your friends look at you now, like it's not really you they're seeing. How when words come out of your mouth in a different tone and cadence, you can see it in their faces, somewhere between hope and heartbreak, before you're even aware of what you'd said or how you'd said it.

Nor is it this fool-headed mission to Genesis you're all on now, however guilty you may feel for having gotten them roped into this, however much you might wish you'd been successful in chartering a flight out there alone. They broke you out of holding for this, they stole the Enterprise for this, they're putting their lives and careers on the line for this, because of you. The danger of it all aside, you're already dreading the court martial awaiting each of you if you make it back to Earth in one piece.

No, the worst part, you think, is what it will mean to succeed. To recover Spock's body from Genesis, bring him home to Vulcan, and lay him to rest—body and soul.

Because to do so will mean losing him all over again.

[banannabethchase]

Hold Me to Yourself - also on AO3

~

Adam watches Matt fawn all over Okada and steal Eddie's hat on Dynamite. It's time to remind Matt who he belongs to.

~

Matt, this is your fault for stealing Eddie's hat on the March 6th Dynamite. And I guess mine for pivoting so hard on the free use idea I had. I need you to know that. Title from "Anyone Else" by PVRIS.

~

Adam’s jaw is still on the floor as he rewinds the segment for the third time. It’s not just that Matt’s all over Eddie, though that’s a fantasy Matt’s been loud about for years. It’s the money, and the bitchiness, and the hat.

The hat is what has Adam crushing the Coke can in his hand.

Matt steals his hats. Matt steals his hoodies and his boxers and his blankets. Not anybody else’s.

Adam rage cleans the kitchen with a boner only quenched by jacking off furiously on the couch while watching the segment again. He knows why he’s home – he needs a break after Revolution, needs to step back from wrestling to get his mental health under control. Matt’s crack about suspending him didn’t bother him at all.

But he desperately wishes he were there, because he could shove Matt against a door and fuck his brain out.

As he’s cleaning up his mess, he’s thinking about what he’ll do to Matt when he walks through the door of their house, what he’ll fuck him up against, how he’ll make Matt beg.

Love you – too tired to call. Is that okay?

Love you too. Be ready for tomorrow. Next time remember you only wear my clothes and yours.

He puts the phone down and glances over to the empty side of the bed, and wishes Matt were next to him right now.

Sleep is fitful without Matt on a good day, but tonight he’s tossing and turning, waking up reaching for Matt in the darkness before he remembers where Matt is.

He ignores his alarm when it goes off, knowing he has a different kind of work out waiting for him later that day. Matt’s flight isn’t getting in until a little after noon. He can sleep.

The sun is at an unfamiliar angle when he finally wakes up, and this time he feels rested. He blinks awake and stretches. He’s more relaxed when he thinks of Matt in Eddie’s hat, still itchy but not ready to commit murder as he showers. He manages to make and eat something that’s apparently lunch as he scrolls his phone.

He’s midway through a video of a puppy trying to climb up a slide when a text pops in.

Just landed see you soon

And Adam’s right back in that headspace from the day before.

He’s in the middle of reorganizing the pantry when he hears the garage door open and shoves the newly organized containers of rice haphazardly onto the shelf.

Adam walks into the hallway, eyes on the garage door, and waits.

The door opens. His heart pounds.

“Tell me your safe word,” Adam says, standing firm but steady in the hallway.

Matt lights up. “Oh, you’re mad.”

“Tell me,” Adam says again, “your safe word. Now.”

Matt swallows. “Rancho,” he whispers. He drops the luggage. “What are you going to do to me?”

“Are you serious about the free use thing?” Adam asks.

Matt nods. “Anything you want. I – anything.”

Adam takes a second to let it sink in, the trust Matt places in him, the faith he has that Adam could never hurt him in a way that Matt wouldn’t want.

That Adam won’t ever hurt him again in a way he has in the past.

“Is this part of it?” Matt asks. His breathing is hitching as he stands in the hallway, squirming a little under Adam’s gaze. It wasn’t the intent, but Adam leans into it. “Making me wait?”

“You flirted with another man while I was at home on the couch,” Adam says, keeping his voice as bland as he can.

“I’m sorry,” Matt says, voice tiny.

“You aren’t,” Adam says. “Come here. I wanna see where he touched you.”

Matt shuffles toward Adam. He can feel Matt’s excitement wafting off of him, but he’s playing the role of hesitant and mildly worried so well. “He barely touched me,” Matt says.

“So it really was all you.” Adam walks slowly around Matt, looking him up and down. “Pausing for a minute – is there anything off limits today?”

Matt looks over his shoulder at Adam, radiating honesty. “My arm is sore, but not too bad.” He considers it, and Adam would reward him if that wasn’t directly the opposite of what he’s trying to do here. “The normal no’s, obviously. But other than that, everything we’ve ever said yes or maybe about is on the table.” He flutters his eyelashes, the performance back on. “I missed you so much this week.”

“Good.” Adam steps away from Matt. “Go sit down.”

“Sit down?” Matt asks, and now it’s genuine confusion on his face. “Why?”

“Did I say you could ask me stupid questions?”

Matt’s eyes sparkle as he throws a pout and sits on the couch. “No.”

“Tell me,” Adam says, looming over Matt. “The fuck were you thinking, going out there and acting like a slut for some guy who could never give you what I give you?” It’s incredible, how it feels when Matt looks up at him. The boo boo eyes are at a million, and Adam’s entire body is flooded with anticipation and love and the need to keep this man forever. “I’m not at Dynamite once and you can’t help yourself.”

Matt squirms under Adam’s presence. “I can’t ever,” Matt says. “You know that.”

Adam is fighting the need to touch Matt, to gather him up and carry him to the bed and drop to one knee right there, but that’s not what either of them truly want right now. “I do know that,” Adam says, “but now the whole world knows that you’ll do anything to wear another man’s clothes and pose around him.” He shakes his head and tsks, hands on his hips. “All it takes is a blonde guy and you go feral.”

“I was never feral for Okada!” Matt protests. “It was Eddie!”

Adam grins. “Look at you, telling on yourself.”

“I – shut up.”

“Don’t think I will baby.” He steps back. “Stand up.”

Matt does so.

“Naked,” Adam commands. “Now.”

Matt scrambles to get his clothing off, showing none of his usual body awareness and in ring grace as he stumbles over pants and has to lean against their kitchen counter. He looks up. “Okay?”

“All the way.”

Matt takes off his socks and boxers, standing stark naked.

“Look at you,” Adam murmurs. “No wonder you try to show all this off. All about how pretty you are, huh?”

Matt whimpers. “I thought the free use thing was you, like, railing me on the kitchen counter or in gorilla or something. Not making me wait.”

Adam chuckles, lower than he’s used to hearing from himself. “I get to do whatever I want is the point.” He walks toward Matt until Matt backs into the counter, and he jumps when his back hits the cold granite counter. “See? You’re all twitchy. All your attention is on me. I’ve gotten exactly what I want right here.”

Matt swallows. “All you want?”

“Is that you asking if I’m eventually gonna fuck you stupid?”

Matt nods.

Adam leans in, lips at Matt’s ear. “What do you think?”

Matt turns his head and catches Adam’s lips with his, pulling him flush against Matt’s naked body. It takes far too long for him to remember he’s got a whole thing he’s trying to do and he pulls away, hands off of Matt.

“Greedy,” Adam says. “Look at you. Can’t even follow instructions.”

“Your fault,” Matt says, shrugging. “You got all close and sexy. Not my fault.”

“Is this you talking back?” Adam asks.

Matt grins. “Is that going to get me laid?”

Adam opens his mouth, then closes it. “In a way you’ll absolutely hate, yes.”

“How is that possible?” Matt asks, rolling his eyes. “We can’t have sex in a way I’ll hate.”

“You’ll like it but you’ll hate it,” Adam clarifies. “Love it, perhaps.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Shut the fuck up and get that cute ass to the bedroom.”

Matt’s mouth snaps shut and he scurries over to the bedroom. Adam snickers a little. Matt’s never been good at hiding his eagerness.

He waits in the kitchen, getting out cups to fill with water to see how long it takes for Matt to lose his mind with anticipation.

Less than the time it takes for him to fill two of Matt’s fancy water bottles with water, it turns out.

“If you don’t get in here,” Matt says, and it’s almost as if he’s trying to let a threat linger in the air.

Adam walks in and leans against the door frame. “What? What are you going to do?”

Matt huffs, folding his arms over his chest. “I don’t know. Don’t be mean to me.”

“We’ve been over this,” Adam says. “You like it when I’m mean to you.”

“Not – god, you’re the worst.” Matt’s cheeks flush pink.

“You want me to be nice?” Adam asks. “Is that actually what you want?”

Matt mumbles something, turning away.

“Louder.”

“Eff off,” Matt says, and he rolls his eyes so strongly Adam’s surprised he didn’t roll off the bed.

“Okay.” Adam turns to leave.

“No! Damn it. You’re the worst. No, I don’t want you to be nice.” Adam turns back to see Matt spread himself out on the bed. “I want you to do whatever you want.”

Adam grins and stares at him. “Yeah?”

Matt nods eagerly.

“Shower,” Adam commands. “Relax. Use your nice shampoo, that fancy body scrub you always say you’re trying to save. I can always get you more.”

Matt’s eyes widen and he shivers. “Are you coming with me?”

Adam shakes his head. “Be a good boy and maybe you’ll earn me touching you.”

Matt scrambles to his feet and runs to the bathroom door, tripping over a rogue sneaker that had fallen off of a shelf.

By the time he comes back, Adam’s set up the bed. Matt lights up.

“You got out the fancy handcuffs,” he breathes, almost reverent. He looks over at Adam, big brown eyes wide with carefully guarded excitement. “All four of the fancy handcuffs.” He steps to the bed and touches the matching blue rope. “And the pretty rope.”

“I did,” Adam says. “And you are gonna be good and get on the bed?”

Matt, hair still damp and skin glowing, jumps onto the bed. “Am I gonna get in trouble if I touched myself in the shower?”

Adam raises an eyebrow, then looks down at Matt’s hard cock. “You did?”

“I stopped, though,” he says, eyes huge and earnest. “I – I wanted to, but I want you more.”

“Well isn’t that sweet.” Adam grabs Matt’s legs and yanks him down, leaning down to kiss him. He’s warm and still a little wet, hair soaked as Adam runs his fingers through it. Matt arches against him, legs around his waist, and it’s all Adam can do not to lean in and cave right there.

But he spent twenty minutes on this setup, and he remembers how the rage and possessiveness welled in his chest when he saw Matt in Eddie’s hat, so he pulls away.

Matt lets out a wordless cry, hands extended to him, when Adam pulls away.

“Calm down, baby, you know I’ll do exactly what you need.” He leans down and kisses Matt again, gently, in a way he hopes is reassuring. “Middle of the bed, come on.”

It’s reluctant for a second, with a booboo eye and a half thrown his way as he scoots up, but he spreads his legs and almost presents himself to Adam.

“God, you’re pretty,” Adam mutters. “Okay. Gonna tie you up.”

Matt nods frantically, splaying his arms and legs out like a starfish. “Okay.”

Adam works quietly, only pausing to chuckle as Matt struggles to rub his cock against Adam’s hips, his leg, his chest, anything he can get at.

He finally has Matt in his spot. There’s a lot of slack, intentionally, so Matt can lay comfortably. Nothing tugs, nothing pulls. Matt’s flat on the bed, staring at Adam.

“All done?” Matt asks.

“Not quite.” Adam walks to the vanity and moves some of Matt’s hair stuff out of the way to find the box he’d shoved in the corner. He pulls it out and shows it to Matt.

“It’s pretty,” Matt breathes. “I love that color.”

“I know you do,” Adam says. He brushes out some of the wrinkles in the teal, satin eye mask and holds it up to Matt. “Do you want to put it on?”

“Aren’t you supposed to tell me what to do right now?”

Adam rolls his eyes. “Jesus, you’re impossible. Lift your head up.”

Matt does as he’s told, and Adam places the eye mask over Matt’s face.  He steps back and grins down at his masterpiece. Matt’s dick is hard, curved up toward his stomach, as he squirms against the ropes. “Gonna ask again –”

“Good,” Matt answers. “Really good. Keep – if I have to, I’ll safeword, but I don’t think I will.” He looks unfairly earnest, even blindfolded. “Or wait. Is this part of it? Is this making me wait more?”

“A little bit,” Adam says, shrugging before he realizes Matt can’t see him. “But, you know. Leaving it up in the air.” He goes silent and watches Matt.

It’s impressive, how long he stays still. It’s clear he’s trying to gauge whether or not Adam’s still in the room, with the way he’s tilting his head just a little bit.

“Adam?” he calls. “Are you still there?”

“Still here,” Adam says.

“What, uh,” Matt hesitates, “what are you doing?”

Adam chuckles. “You don’t like being out of the loop do you?” Adam walks beside the bed, sure to get to the creaky board. Matt now knows exactly where he is in the room, how he’s close enough to touch, but he can’t move. His hands are exactly where Adam wants them. “You don’t like finding stuff out after it’s important, do you?”

“Is this punishment for the suspension?” Matt asks, wiggling now. “Because I told you beforehand.”

“You texted,” Adam says, and he trails his finger along Matt’s leg just to see him twitch closer to the touch. “You live here, and you forgot to tell me. You had to text me about it.”

“It was – Tony had to confirm it,” Matt whispers. “It’s not, like real! It’s a way for you to take a break! And I knew you were sleeping, so I didn’t want to call.”

“Okay, that’s sweet,” Adam says, sliding his hand up Matt’s thigh. Matt makes a little open mouthed whimper, pushing his leg up into the touch. “But Eddie?” he says, stopping his hand before it gets anywhere near Matt’s dick. “You didn’t have to go out there and look for attention from somewhere else.” He slides his hand back down and Matt makes a miserable little moan. “I was waiting right here at home, and you were out there wearing another man’s hat.”

“It – I’ll wear your clothes, all the time,” Matt says. “I’ll wear everything you want me to. Property of Adam Page.”

“Property, huh?” Adam asks, sliding his hand back up. “I like it better when you’re my good boy. When you and everybody else knows you’re my man, no matter who or what you touch or wear.” He runs his thumb along the crease where Matt’s torso meets the top of his thigh, Matt’s skin twitching under him.

“Everyone knows,” Matt whispers. “Even – even when I get stupid with other people, they know I’m yours.”

“You think so?” Adam murmurs. He crawls onto the bed, having to navigate the rope and handcuffs across the bed. “You look kinda like you’re mine, right now?”

Matt nods. “Always.”

“Always?”

Matt is responsive as ever as Adam slides in between his legs, little whimpers and shifts as Adam adjusts his body.

“Wait,” Matt says, rubbing his thigh against Adam’s hip. “You’re still wearing clothes.”

“I am,” Adam says.

“Oh.” Matt goes quiet.

“You’re thinking loud there, baby.”

“I was just – that means this really is going to take a while.” Matt smiles. “You really are mad.”

“I’m not mad,” Adam singsongs, tracing patterns on Matt’s skin. He smiles as the skin twitches underneath his touch, as Matt’s body shifts to try to get closer. “Just reminding you what I can do that nobody else would know you want.”

“Because you know me so well,” Matt says, and his voice is a little slurred, a little unsteady. “Because you want me.”

“I always want you,” Adam murmurs, and he leans down to press a kiss to Matt’s stomach. The muscles shift underneath his lips, pressing up against him. “So pretty.”

Adam pulls up and sides down the bed. He waits, knowing what Matt is anticipating, knowing what he wants. His cock is leaking, hard as nails, and Adam can’t wait to give him everything he wants.

But not yet.

“I’d say look how desperate you are, but you can’t do that right now, can you?”

“Don’t tease me,” Matt whines.

“You like it when I tease you, right?”

Matt wiggles. “Yes. I hate it.”

“What?”

“I – I hate it but I like it.” He pauses. “Shut up.”

“You were the one talking.”

“You were thinking or something,” Matt says, wiggling.

Adam licks up Matt’s cock without any further warning, lapping up precome as he does, grinning as Matt yelps. Matt shoves his hips toward Adam’s face.

“More,” he pleads. “More, more.”

“You’ll get more,” Adam says. “When I say you get more.”

Matt makes a frustrated, enraged little noise, fury bottled up in pure desperation. Adam laughs and leans in, pressing kisses to Matt’s thighs, to his stomach, to the base of his cock. Matt doesn’t speak, and instead whimpers like he’s dying for it. It’s the prettiest thing Adam’s ever heard.

He doesn’t know how long he takes, but Matt starts sniffling.

“Are you crying, baby?” Adam murmurs, sucking the head of Matt’s cock into his mouth.

“No,” Matt chokes out. “You’re the worst.”

“So that’s a yes.” He bobs a few times on Matt’s cock, hearing a sigh of relief. He doesn’t give Matt much of it though and pulls off soon after.

“No,” Matt whispers.

“What?” Adam asks. “You want more?” He gets off the bed and walks to get the lube, waiting to see Matt’s reaction. He’s covered in a layer of sweat, muscles taut and trembling.

“Come back,” Matt says. It sounds like he’s going for authoritative, but the whimper in the back of it ruins the effect.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Adam asks.

Matt’s, “Yes,” is almost too quick.

“Then I have to go for a few seconds. I won’t leave the room. I just have to get some things. And undress.”

Matt sighs, dramatic as ever. “I guess.” He grumbles. “Are you getting lube?”

“What do you think?”

“Yes?”

Adam chuckles. “Hopeful, aren’t you.”

“Yes! That’s the point!”

“Yeah, well, hope harder.” Adam strips off his clothes, suddenly highly aware of how hot and overwhelmed he is. He takes note of his cock, looking as hard and desperate as Matt’s. He hadn’t even realized it, he’d be so focused on Matt.

Matt groans, snapping Adam back to focus. “I know this is exactly what I want, but I sort of hate it.”

“Do you?”

He kicks his legs and Adam fights a giggle. “No!” Matt flops back down on the bed, and even without seeing his entire face Adam knows it’s boo boo eyes all the way down.

“What do you want, Matty?” Adam murmurs. He walks up the length of the bed until he can lean down and whisper in Matt’s ear. “What do you want?”

Matt jumps. “You’re close.”

“You are too, apparently.”

Adam’s pretty sure he hears Matt roll his eyes. “I want you to fuck me,” Matt says. Adam grins. “I want it right now, and I’m sick of waiting, and I think I’m crying under this stupid mask, and I’m so hard it hurts.”

“I got a swear,” Adam says. “Maybe that’s all I was looking for.”

Matt breathes slowly. “That’s it?”

“Well, maybe not all,” he says. He leans in and kisses Matt’s forehead above the mask, then down to his mouth. He makes it deep, promising. Matt’s squirming and moaning into his mouth. “Do you want to get fucked now, baby?”

“I do,” Matt half sobs, and Adam’s glad he left a lot of slack in those ropes.

“Got an idea,” Adam says. “Gotta open you up, then I’m gonna fuck you from underneath, okay?”

“From – what?” Matt’s limbs are all floppy. “Never mind. Just – anything.”

Adam grins.

He gets his fingers coated with lube, kisses Matt’s lips again, then slides down his body to adjust Matt’s legs and find his hole. Matt’s cock is soaked with precome, and Adam lets himself feel a little pride at that.

“Please,” Matt sobs. “Please, in me, please.”

“I promise,” Adam says, pressing in, “I will.”

Matt’s not speaking, just shoving down onto Adam’s fingers. He’s already so ready – a little unusually ready.

“Did you open yourself up in the shower without permission?” he asks, pumping his finger in and out easily. A second joins without much resistance, and Adam’s the one starting to lose his focus.

“Yeah,” Matt mumbles. “Make it quicker. You in me sooner.”

If Adam weren’t already halfway to madness, that would have been an excuse to draw this out for another half hour. As it is, he takes the opportunity to go a little faster, to be less gentle. Matt’s already done most of the work for him.

“Fuckin’ desperate,” Adam growls. “You and your pretty little cock want it so bad you break the rules.”

Matt murmurs something, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, always. Want your cock. Want you to make me come.”

“Yeah?” Adam asks, and the third finger should be enough for Matt, gets him squirming. “God, you’re impossible. Gonna keep you forever.”

“Should fuck me first.”

With a laugh, he stands and arranges Matt’s limbs, shifting them up a little so he can get Matt a little off the mattress.

“You picking me up?” Matt asks.

“A little bit,” Adam answers. He slides under Matt, feeling his comforting weight settle on top of him.

“Oh, this is nice,” Matt mumbles, words half slurred. “This is really nice.”

“Yeah?” Adam asks. “Can’t see me, but you can feel me, can’t you?”

“All of you,” Matt says, grinding his ass down against Adam.

Adam grabs his hips to still him. “Keep it together, baby,” he says. “Give me a second – there you are.” He’d been thorough, careful, getting Matt to tears, just for this moment. He shifts his hips, lifts Matt just a little with his hands, and then he’s sliding home.

Matt’s moan is intoxicating, no words but screaming finally all the same.

“Got what you wanted,” Adam chuckles in Matt’s ear. He moves slightly.

“I did,” Matt whispers. “Oh, I did.” He wiggles. “I can’t really move.”

“That’s the point,” Adam says. “I take care of you.”

Matt slumps against him. “Oh, god.”

“Yeah,” Adam says, and he allows himself to feel smug as he tilts his hips and feels the hot vice of Matt tighten around him. “I got you, baby, you don’t even have to move.”

“I want to,” Matt whimpers, wiggling against him. “I – I want to feel you. I want it.”

“You want what?” Adam asks, rolling his hips.

Matt keeps. “I want to come,” he pleads. “I want you to fuck me and I want to come and then I want you to keep fucking me so maybe I can come again.”

“Yeah?” Adam says. “I think we can make that happen.”

He slides his hands down Matt’s body until one hand can press against Matt’s belly and the other can stroke his dick. It takes a second to figure out the rhythm, with how much weight is on top of Adam and how little he can see, but the noises coming out of Matt tell him it’s going well.

“I don’t – I want…” Matt trails off, babbles and half-formed syllables coming out instead.

“What?” Adam murmurs, working his hips and hand together. “What do you want?”

“Gonna – want to –” Matt cuts himself off with a whine. “Come.”

“Do it.” He puts every command he’s ever had into it, speeds up his hand. “Come for me, baby. Come for me now so I can drag another one out of you.”

Matt throws his head back and barely misses headbutting Adam, but the way he spectacularly comes all over Adam’s hand and his own belly is worth the risk. Adam picks up the pace of his own thrusts, hammering into Matt whose body has gone limp. He moves his hands to Matt’s hips, prepared to move him if it comes to it.

Matt whimpers. “So much,” he gasps.

“Good much?”

“Good much,” Matt says. Adam shifts to look at the mess Matt made, feeling his own orgasm race toward him. He fights it. It’s not about him.

“Tell me,” Adam says, kissing his cheek as best he can from the angle. “Talk.”

“I lo-love when you’re inside me.” Random muscles are twitching, and Adam does his best to soothe over them with gentle hands when he sees it. Matt slumps against him, body chasing and running from the feeling at the same time. “I feel the most like me. When you’re fucking me.” He whimpers. “Oh, god, I think – I think I’m getting…” He trails off and Adam grins as he looks down, seeing Matt’s dick trying to get hard again.

“I knew it,” he murmurs. “I knew you could do it. So good, baby. You’re so good.”

Matt whines about getting old, but sometimes, when he’s in the right headspace, his refractory period is as short as they get. Adam kisses at his neck, slow rolls of his hips into Matt’s hypersensitive body, until Matt’s whimpering and fully hard again. It takes long enough that Adam’s pulled tight like a rubber band, but it’s worth it.

“Oh,” Matt says, like it’s the only thing he can get out. His hips twitch, push back against Adam. “Keep – more.”

“More?” Adam asks, getting his thrusts going a little harder. “You sure you can take it?”

“Can,” Matt mumbles. “Want to.”

Adam doesn’t know how he got this lucky, how the two of them repaired what they both shattered with abandon years ago, how this moment is possible. “You can,” Adam murmurs. “I’ll get you there, I swear.”

They work in tandem, muscles in Matt’s body still twitching but his hips determined. Adam keeps focused. He can’t let go, not yet, not before Matt’s ready. It’s a responsibility he welcomes.

The world dissolves to the two of them, to lips and moans and need and sweat, until Matt says, “I think – I think I can, again.”

Adam slides a hand down to Matt’s cock and strokes. “Thank god,” he laughs. “Because I’m not gonna last long.”

He doesn’t. It’s only a few more strokes and Adam comes first, losing his resolve, but Matt clenches around him and whines, “Full,” and he’s coming again. The mess is slightly less than the first time, but it’s all over Adam’s hand and Matt’s belly and it’s dripping down onto the bed. It’s a mess, a filthy disaster, and Adam thinks it’s his masterpiece.

“Fucking Christ,” Adam gasps, pressing his face into Matt’s neck. “A few seconds, I’ll get you untangled, just – holy fuck.”

“Yeah,” Matt says, his voice garbled. “So good.”

Adam warms, kisses Matt’s neck and cheek. He pulls Matt’s mask off.

“Bright,” Matt mumbles. He shuffles so he can half-see Adam’s face. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Adam reaches up and brushes tears off of Matt’s face. “You really were crying.”

“I told you I was,” he says. “That was, like, turbo edging without the classic edging. You’re a maniac.”

Adam raises an eyebrow. “Is that a good thing?”

“That’s a great thing,” Matt says.

Adam rolls, sliding his oversensitive dick out of Matt and lowering him gently on the mattress. He gets to work quickly to undo the ropes and the cuffs, checking for any bruises or sore patches.

“I’m feeling fantastic,” Matt says, still starfished on the bed. “Just because I can’t move yet doesn’t mean I’m hurt.”

“I’m checking you anyway,” Adam says, pressing a kiss to Matt’s cheek. “No problems with your back? Arm?”

“All is great,” Matt says. His smile is almost dopey, and he rolls over. “Forgot what it was like not to be all tied up like that. Next time you should keep me there longer.”

“I – no,” Adam scoffs. “You were losing it within a few seconds, let alone whatever you mean when you say longer.”

Matt shrugs. “Whatever you say.” He flutters his eyelashes. “Kiss?”

“Of course.” Adam leans down and kisses Matt to find himself yanked in on top of him, covered in lube and come and sweat more than he already was. “Hi. Ow.”

“Ow?”

“My arm is still stuck under yours,” Adam explains, pulling it out. “There we go.”

Matt wrinkles his nose. “There’s, like, so much on me right now.”

“You pulled me on top of you.”

“I mean the…fluids.” Adam is forced to kiss the pinched expression off of Matt’s face. “I have to shower.”

“Me too,” Adam says, sitting up. “Because you pulled me on top of you.”

“Like you wouldn’t shower with me after anyway.”

“Fair point.” Adam rolls off the bed and holds out a hand. Matt takes it, holds it the steps to the shower.

“So, if I were to, like –”

“No,” Adam says.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

“You were going to ask if we could fuck in the shower,” Adam says. “We just did that. You need to take a break.”

Matt rolls his eyes, and it takes everything inside of Adam not to drop to one knee right there. “You don’t have to be right about everything, you know.”

“It’s a curse.” Adam pats his butt and Matt yelps, grinning. “Be nice or I’ll shove you into the shower when the water’s still cold.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

Matt’s yawning before he’s even set foot in the shower, so Adam soaps him up and rinses the last of their mess off his body with Matt’s favorite body wash. Matt limply does the same for Adam, but there’s a lot left behind that Adam ends up taking care of while Matt languidly towels off.

“Pick that up!” Adam says when Matt lets the towel drop to the floor. “I’m not picking up after your terrible shower habits again.”

“It’s a towel.”

“Yeah, hang it up.” Adam turns off the shower and grabs his own towel, hitting Matt in the ass with it before wrapping it around his waist. Matt beams at him. “What?”

“I like it that you get to annoy me about house stuff,” Matt says, stepping into Adam’s space and shoving at his arm until Adam wraps it around his shoulders.

“You do?”

Matt nods and they make their way back into the bedroom. “It reminds me that I get to stay forever.”

Adam opens his mouth, unsure of what he’s about to say, when Matt freezes.

“Oh, boy.”

“What now?”

“We’re gonna need to do some serious laundry,” Matt says, hands on his hips as he studies the bed. “I should have kicked the comforter off first. There’s so much sweat on it.”

Adam shrugs and adjusts the towel. “We got an extra in the closet. My old one. We’ll use that while it’s all in the wash.” He yawns. “Jesus. You wore me out.”

“I wore you out?!” Matt exclaims. “I can barely stand!”

“You’re doing fine from where I can see it,” Adam says, fighting a smile.

Matt rolls his eyes. “I am wrecked in all forms of the word, and only my, what is it, fortitude?” Adam nods. “Only my fortitude of spirit is keeping me up.”

“That fuckin’ word of the day app,” Adam mutters. “Alright then. You sit your weak ass princess body down on the chair and I’ll get the other blankets so we can take a nap.”

Matt squirms. “I, um. I don’t think I’m ready to sit yet.”

Adam can’t fight his grin. “The way you like?”

Matt nods so hard his hair flops all over his face. “So good. I’m gonna be achy for days.” His eyes burn as they meet Adam’s. “I’ll feel you even when you’re not with me.”

Adam doesn’t know what the possessive beast clawing at his chest is trying to say, only that it’s screaming. He strides to Matt and yanks him in, kissing him with all the words that catch in the back of his throat. Matt moans and slumps against him, arms thrown around Adam’s neck.

Adam holds him tight. “Let’s get dinner,” he says, pulling away far enough to look Matt in the eyes. “Let’s get dinner, a nice one. Tomorrow night. Where we can pull out the good suits.”

Matt nods. “I like that idea.” His eyes sparkle, like there’s something else he’s not saying.

But Adam doesn’t mind. He’s the one with the ring in the side drawer.

~

Mini Playlist (yes it's all PVRIS) No Mercy - PVRIS Smoke - PVRIS Use Me - PVRIS feat. 070 Shake Anyone Else - PVRIS

[kef-meister]

I Just Think They're Neat

When I stopped collecting cool rocks about several yonks ago (I was even subscribed to a magazine which came with samples - or at least pretended to give you samples - of neat rocks, minerals and gems), the inherent need to collect something didn't actuallydisappear - it just changed. Over the years I've collected, for example: marbles; specific Kinder Egg toys; blank 3.5" floppies; different Euro coins from different EU countries, and IKEA pencils (...I still have a jar full of these at the moment).

But my biggest collection didn't actually get kick-started by myself. it was a present from over a decade ago - my partner gifted me a whole box full of small figurines with my favorite Pokémon: Bulbasaur.

Fast forward to 2024, and they've reminded me that I should be nice to myself (and thus treat myself). Meaning I have another box incoming with different Bulbasaur-related items. Fuck yes.

The whole reason I'm telling y'all this is because I've spent the better part of my day trying to (re)organize just the top shelf of a three-tiered cabinet just to see if I can fit any more Bulbasaurs on the top shelf. I think I might need to reorganize it yet again. Now, a lesser version of myself might think I actually have entirely too many Bulbasaurs. That lesser version of me would be wrong. You are wrong, lesser me. Skill issue.

Obviously I need to start thinking of moving to a bigger place. /s

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back Part 24

A/N: Guess who’s back! Thank you for sticking with me. It’s been a rough several months and I think things are finally getting to a point where I can focus on my hobbies again. As always, feedback is appreciated and Character Q&As are open. Much Love -Em

I had finished the last book on my To Read shelf by mid-May. Hopping off my bed, I went over to my bookshelf. There was only one shelf of space left. The stack to shelve had gotten a tad out of hand. Sighing to myself, I sat down to start reorganizing. I pulled the books from H to Z down to fit the new additions to my collection in. My dad poked his head in when the stack fell over.

“Everything okay in here?” I was surrounded by books. Dad tried not to laugh as he took the scene in. Grabbing books, I turned back to the shelf.

“Perfect. Totally meant to sit in a sea of books this afternoon.”

“Sure. You have fun with that. I have to head into the office for a while. Tell your mother I probably won’t be home for dinner.”

“Will do.” I nodded, not turning my attention back to him.

Monty texted me shortly after I had finished the M’s. What are you up to today?

Organizing my bookshelf. I finished my TBR so now they go in the permanent collection.

Only my girlfriend would make a permanent book collection and a separate section for books that aren’t done.

Hey! Lots of people do this.

Yes honey.

What are you up to today?

Trying to study for my last History test. It’s very boring.

I’m sure it is. If you’re free Saturday, how about a get out of studying free card?

Oh? What did you have in mind Doll? I rolled my eyes and grinned. Of course he thought I meant something dirty.

Cool your jets Monty. I was going to see if you wanted to go to the bookstore with me?

I can make that happen. What time?

I think Clay and I are getting lunch to go over our study guide for the Math final. I could do like 1?

Sounds good. Do you want me to meet you at the bookstore?

Sure. I go to the B&N at the Everglade.

It’s a date.

I smiled and went back to my books.

When it was done, I snapped a picture and sent it to Justin. I finished my TBR! You know what that means?

Oh no. More books?

More books!

Do I have to come with you?

No. The parents gave me a limit of 10 books this time.

Only 10?

I have points saved up. And 10 is a perfectly reasonable amount of new books.

For you? Yes. For normal people? No.

Oh shhh, or I’ll make you come with me.

Okay, okay. It’s reasonable lol. I texted Monty a picture of my bookshelf too. He responded with a laughing emoji.

Teachers were beginning to wrap up final units and hand out study guides for finals. Justin was still mad about summer school so he kept up his not giving a shit attitude. I rolled my eyes whenever he sighed or complained about finals. And I stopped offering to help him. If he wanted to do more work in summer school, that was fine by me. It gave me more time to spend with Monty.

On Saturday, I met Clay at Rosie’s and we both got milkshakes. I wasn’t very hungry, and I didn’t want burger breath later. “So Clay, how’s Hannah doing?”

“I don’t know. We have hung out a few times, and I see her at work, but I don’t think we have hung out hung out.”

“You still haven’t asked her out?”

“I mean, we went to Jeff’s place not together, but we were both there, and I feel like maybe we connected?”

“Connected?”

“Well, we were doing… stuff… and we talked.” My eyes widened.

“Clay Jensen did you do drugs in Jeff’s basement?”

“Maybe?” I was stunned.

“Well, I’ll be damned. Clay Jensen, having fun. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Ha ha.” He joked.

“I’m kidding! But seriously. Take the risk Clay.”

“I’ll think about it. Can we look at this study guide now?” I sighed and pulled it out of my bag. We both shuddered. This is not going to be a pretty exam.

By the time Clay and I called it an afternoon, it was 12:30. That gave me just enough time to get to the city. We packed our notes and headed outside. “Man, I really need a car.” Clay sighed, unlocking his bike.

“Your parents said no?”

“I have a bike.” He waved towards the bike.

“That you do. I would offer you a ride, but I’m headed into the city for the afternoon.”

“No worries, Addy.” He smiled. We waved goodbye and I watched as he biked down the street. I started my car and texted Monty. Leaving Rosie’s now. Might be a little late. Drive safe.

Sounds good, drive safe Doll.

I stopped at Starbucks when I got to the mall and got an iced coffee to sip while I browse and a coffee for Montgomery. He was waiting outside Barnes & Noble for me. “Hey handsome. Fancy seeing you here.” I winked as I walked up to him.

“Hey gorgeous. What can I say, thought it would be a good way to find a girl. You know what they say about the readers.”

“I have a feeling I do.” I laughed and handed him his coffee. “Something to do with being high strung, overachievers with daddy issues?”

“Somethin’ like that.” Monty took my hand and let me lead him into the bookstore. I decided I would keep my ten-book limit to myself. I knew how many points I had, and I still had birthday money left from last year.

He chuckled as I practically dragged him towards the YA section. I didn’t stop to look at the romance displays or the cookbooks or the journals. I was on a mission. There were books to buy. I sipped my coffee as I browsed. As usual, I made my way up and down the aisles quickly once to see if anything immediately caught my eye. A couple of books did, so I grabbed them to look over after I was done my power walk. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you move that fast.”

“Ass.” I laughed as I read over the synopsizes of the two books. Neither of them was my cup of tea in the end, so I decided to put them back. I could feel Montgomery watching me as I looked at the shelves. “What?” I asked as I pulled a book down and skimmed the back.

“Nothin’. You’re just cute is all.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. And those shorts are very nice.” I blushed and smiled softly.

“Thanks.” I handed him the book.

“Oh, I see. You needed someone to carry the books.”

“Well, who else would I have asked, when I have my strong, athletic boyfriend to follow me around the store?” He only laughed in response. I grabbed a few more books as I sipped at my coffee. Once in a while, I would notice him watching me and turn to smile at him.

There were six books in Monty’s hands before he finished his coffee. “I’m going to throw this out. Try to leave some books for the next person, okay Bookworm?”

“I’ll try. No promises though.” I mused. By the time he came back, I had three more books. I looked up when I heard him laugh. I grinned at him and held out the books. He took them, tucked them under his arm, and stepped towards me. My brow furrowed and he reached to tuck my hair behind my ear, trailing his hand down to cup the back of my neck, and pull me towards him to kiss me. I kissed him back softly. It was nice to be able to kiss in public. I liked our little bubble. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. He pulled away first.

We continued to peruse the store for a while and stole kisses and glances along the way. Monty slid his hand in my back pocket as we walked. I grabbed another couple of books and sighed. “What’s up?”

“I guess that’s enough books for a little while.”

“For a little while? Addison. There’s like,” he paused to count, “sixteen books here.”

“Yeah. And that isn’t even all of what is on my TBR still. And it’s buy one get one half off all books.” I shrugged.

“Jesus. Crazy woman.” He muttered softly and kissed the side of my head. I sighed and turned to head for the till. After discounts, points, and birthday money, my total was twenty-five dollars.

“Now to figure out how to sneak the extra six books into the house.” I muttered as we left.

“The extra what whats?”

“Uh… nothing.” I smiled sheepishly. He shook his head playfully. “Oh, hey. Pretzels. Split one?”

“Nice change of subject. Sure. Pretzel sounds good.” He rubbed my hand as he held it. This is nice.

In late June, just as finals week was hitting its peak, tragedy struck our little group of jocks. The boys were at Bryce’s trying to blow off some steam. I was trying to be nice to him and make an effort for Justin, so I tagged along. The way his family approached and flaunted their money always took me by surprise. I wasn’t oblivious. I knew my family had more money than most. More than I liked to consider or admit. But it was never flashed around the way it was with the Walkers. I came from old money on my dad’s side, like his mom. But unlike him, I wasn’t exposed to it on a daily basis. The concept of a twice a week maid was enough to widen my eyes. The only time my family had a maid come was when Gran was coming to stay with us, or we were hosting Christmas back when all my grandparents lived state-side, so a very deep clean was needed. The fact that they had a chef come in once a week to meal prep for them was… almost incomprehensible. The only time I met a chef was when I found a hair in my food when my family went out one night.

I had been to his house before of course. I was friends with Justin. We shared custody of him most weeks. Even still, I found myself hanging back and watching the boys socialize. Or I was trying to at least. Bryce thrusting a bottle of water in my hand startled me. I jumped slightly. “Thanks.” I muttered.

“Don’t mention it.” He chuckled. He settled himself next to me and leaned back against the counter.

“Hi.”

“Hi. You know that they will talk to you, right? They know you.”

“I know.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you then.” Great. Just what I want.

“Sure Bryce.”

“How are finals treating you?”

“I cried before my honours English final yesterday.”

“I almost forgot about my math final.”

“So, we are basically in the same boat.”

“Basically. You had bio and history today?”

“Yeah.”

“How were they?”

“I think I did fairly okay. Can you imagine what my mum would do if I bombed the history final?” He stared off into space with me and shivered.

“I would say something nice about you at your funeral.”

“Thanks Walker. Killing me does seem like a lot of hassle for that though. Like it seems like it would just inconvenience them. Maybe locked in my room to study until I’m forty?”

“True. I would text you news updates. Keep you updated in all things Bryce and the boys.”

“Prefect. Make isolation at least a little bit bearable.” He was actually kind of nice sometimes. Maybe. If I squinted.

“Yeah. My dad would have freaked if I missed my math final.”

“How could you take over the family business if you fail tenth grade math Bryce?”

“No idea. Not like he doesn’t pay someone to do all that math for him. Speaking of, he wanted me to ask you if your dad is taking on any new clients now that tax season is winding down?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he is, but I can get him to email your dad.” I don’t think he’s going to take your dad on.

“I’ll let him know.”

“Where are you off to this summer?”

“I think we are summering in Fiji?”

“Because California isn’t summer-y enough?”

“Mom thinks the sun feels different. More sunny. I tan better in tropical environments.”

“Sure, you do.”

“What are your family’s plans?”

“We have our annual family trip to Boston at the end of July into the first week of August. Dad pushed his vacation time this year.”

“Doesn’t he own the company?”

“Yeah. But his associate wanted to take vacation in mid-July. She’s taking her kids to Disney World.”

“Again, doesn’t he own the company?”

“Again, yes. Why?”

“Shouldn’t he get first pick?”

“Well, our vacation basically costs us airfare, food, and spending money. Hers and everyone else’s costs a lot more. And requires more planning. So, he lets them have first pick and takes whatever’s left for the most part. Because of that, people are more willing to pick fairly.”

“Interesting.”

“Are you two going to come outside or not?” Justin called from the back yard. Bryce and I looked up and found the house empty. All the boys had moved to the back. We shrugged and joined them. I needed to pass the sniff test so I didn’t dare go in the pool house. Anders and Dylan were in the pool house enjoying Bryce’s stash. It was already nearing eighty degrees in the daytime. We were in for a hot summer. Justin pulled off his shirt, dropped his pants, and jumped in the pool. Shaking my head, I followed Bryce outside.

I sat on the edge of the pool and dipped my feet in the water. Monty was trying to be discreet and swim backwards towards me. He stopped just shy of me and shared a look with Zach. I pretended not to notice. It looked like I was busy watching Justin goof off with Bryce and Garrison. I was watching my boyfriend out of the corner of my eye though. I felt a wave close to my foot. “Montgomery. If you touch my foot, I’m not responsible for what happens to your face.” His hand stopped and his eyes widened. Justin laughed and called from across the pool.

“She isn’t wrong dude. She kicked me in the face when I was trying to bug her one time.”

“I wasn’t going to….” Monty trailed off.

“Sure, you weren’t.” I shook my head and moved to stand up. I pulled my tank top over my head. The shorts I was wearing were fine to go in the water.

Seeing as we had to keep up appearances, I couldn’t very well ask Monty to tighten the tie on my bikini top. That would be too much. The boys would question that. Joking around and talking to each other in a group was okay. Touching was not. “Hey Justin, do you mind?” I gestured to my back, not looking at the pool.

“He’s a little busy.” Bryce said. I could hear splashing behind me.

“Zach?”

“Sure.” He climbed out of the pool and untied the bottom strings. He pulled them tighter in a knot and doubled the bow. “Good?”

“Yeah.” I turned around. “Thanks.” Bryce whistled. Gross.

“Why are you keeping her all to yourself again?” He asked Justin. I flipped him off. Why am I being nice to you again?

“I’m not. It’s Addison. Even if I was, I don’t share Bryce.” He seemed to shut the conversation down. Only I could pick up on the stern undertone in his voice. Just as quickly as it came, it was gone, and they were back to goofing off again.

I slipped in the pool and noticing Justin was distracted, I swam over to him and jumped on his back. I may have accidentally splashed Monty in my jumping. I snuck a peek at him and he was rolling his eyes and laughing. “Chicken?” Justin asked. His hands went to my thighs unconsciously.

“No. You dropped me last time. Though it would be entertaining trying to watch the rest of you lift each other.”

“We’re strong.” The boys around me protested. They all made a show of flexing.

“Yes, yes. You’re all strong and hot. With superior athletic abilities. Go you.” I laughed.

“Ha! I told you she thinks I’m hot.” Bryce pointed at Justin.

“It doesn’t count if you’re objectively attractive Walker. I also think the blond guy from the Percy Jackson movie is hot. Because he is objectively attractive.”

“Objectively attractive?”

“You’re lucky you’re rich.” I muttered. Justin choked. “You’re a very pretty man Bryce Walker.”

“Do we get called pretty too Addison?” Monty asked.

“If you don’t call me by my full name again then sure Monty. You are also pretty. Foley, I swear if you drop me, you’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” His hand tightened around my thigh.

The group of us hung out for a while. At some point Scott joined us. Even though we weren’t friends per say, he was still nice to me when I was around. He swam over to my corner of the pool. “I’m supposed to ask you if you think I’m pretty?”

“Scott. If you don’t know you’re pretty, I don’t know what to say to you.”

“Alright then. Why was I supposed to ask?”

“I acknowledged Bryce is objectively attractive and the children felt left out.”

“I see. Why are you hiding in a corner?”

“Hiding from Justin. He’s trying to get me to play chicken. But I don’t feel like getting dropped again.”

“And why does he think you’d get to play with anyone else?”

“I think the attempt would be very entertaining actually.” There was a ringing over by the table.

“Someone’s phone is ringing.” I called. The ringing stopped and started again immediately. Zach looked up. It was his phone.

“It’s probably his mommy calling to tell him he has to come home before it gets dark.” Bryce teased. The boys laughed. I even chuckled a little to myself. Oh, how bad I would feel about that chuckle in a few hours. Zach splashed him. By the time the phone began its second round of ringing again, Zach was out of the pool and grabbing it. He was smiling when he answered it.

“Hey Mom. I’m com-.” It was quiet. “Yeah, I’ll be right home.” He hung up and quickly pulled on his pants, over his wet swim trucks. He threw on his shirt and practically sprinted back in the house. He didn’t say a word to any of us as he left.

“What’s going on with him?” Bryce said. We all stared after him.

A few hours after I got home, I got a text from Bryce. Justin got the same text. Zach’s dad died. Justin and I sat and looked at each other at the table, shocked. We sat there for a solid ten minutes, trying to absorb the information we had been given. I was sure our friends were in the same position. How did you respond to something like that? None of us had ever lost a parent. Sure, I had lost a couple of grandparents. I probably wasn’t the only one. But they’re sort of expected to die. They’re old. They’ve lived. Our parents weren’t old. Not old enough to die yet anyway. I picked my phone back up and texted Zach the only thing I could think to say. He would hear the words a lot in the next few months. I am so sorry. I knew he wouldn’t answer.

Zach wasn’t at school for the rest of the week. Not that he should have been. He had been excused from all of his other exams. Because of course he should have been. I didn’t see him until I was walking home from a date with Monty over the weekend. He was just… walking around town. He didn’t see me at first. When he noticed me standing up the street, he waved a little. I waved back and slowly walked over to him. Even though Zach Dempsey and I weren’t really friends, we were friendly. That’s why it didn’t feel weird when the only thing my brain said to do, was hug him. He didn’t cry. He didn’t say anything. He just hugged me back. We didn’t talk about that random, silent hug on the street again. Not for a long time at least. We simply nodded as we parted ways. He walked one way and I walked the other.

July changed a lot of things. Bryce left town with his family a few days after Zach’s dad’s funeral. Seth was back in town too. That meant Justin spent most of the first couple of weeks of July at my house. He was right. My parents were not happy about him doing summer school. As his not-mom my mum had a strict ‘no fun until homework is done and checked’ rule. At first, I spent my time with Monty during school hours. We weren’t really sure what the summer meant for our relationship. Those first few dates, we mostly talked about that.

“Well, I don’t want to not see you.” Monty said, between kisses in the backseat of my car. We had parked at a secluded clearing overlooking the river.

“I don’t want to not see you either. It’s going to be hard though.”

“Don’t talk about hard right now Doll. Please.” I pulled away and looked at him wide-eyed. “You don’t strike me as a public sex kind of girl. And I don’t want to get a public indecency charge.”

“Yeah. I’m not.” I sat up. “Justin being at my place complicates things.”

“Oh, I know.” He ground out as he adjusted his jeans. I could tell my cheeks were flushed.

“We knew we couldn’t see each other every day.”

“But it’s not easy not seeing you.”

“I know it’s not.”

“Why does this have to be so hard?” He sat back.

“I don’t know.” Neither of us were ready nor willing to have the ‘tell other people’ talk. Even though it had been almost a year. And probably needed to happen.

“Seeing each other while school is in, isn’t such a bad thing, is it?”

“No.”

“And I do have other friends. I could say I’m going to the city with Alex or something. Give us some more time?”

“That’s true.”

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “I could take you to the bookstore.” He blinked at me. “What?”

“The bookstore?”

“It’s air conditioned.” I shrugged and climbed into his lap. His hands instinctively found their way to my hips.

“You just need someone to carry your books again.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I smirked.

There was something different about Justin since he started summer school. I couldn’t put my finger on it. He was… distracted. I noticed he spent more time on his phone after homework than paying attention to what we were doing. Which was fine when it was show re-runs or my mom’s pick for movie night. But when you’re trying to play Ticket to Ride with a guy, it’s much easier when they are paying attention. “Hey. Earth to Justin. Hello?”

“Huh?” He looked up from his phone.

“It’s been your turn for the past five minutes.”

“Shit, sorry.” He looked at his cards and the map. Picking up a red and a pink from the pile, he settled back in his chair. Interesting. I frowned at the board, trying to figure out what he was doing. I came back with nothing. His phone buzzed again. I glanced at it. So did he. Then my phone buzzed. He glanced at it. So, did I. It was like we were waiting to see who would grab their phone first. After a few beats, his hand went to his phone. He smirked a little and put it down. I didn’t check mine.

I came home from a date with Monty a little late on Thursday. It was nearing five when I walked in the door, after I fixed my hair. I dropped my purse and stopped dead in my tracks. Justin had company. Company in the form of Jessica Davis. Who was currently sitting in his lap. On my couch. Making out with him. On my couch. They had their hands up each other’s shirts. On my couch. I cleared my throat. Jessica pulled away and turned towards me. “Oh, hey Addy.” She greeted, like this was normal.

“Hey Addy. You’re… just getting home?” His speech was slowed. Are you shitting me?

“Yeah. What’s going on?”

“Your parents said I could have a friend over after class.”

“Okay.” I blinked. She was still perched in his lap. I glanced at the clock. “I suggest you fix your shirts because they should be home soon. And I don’t think they want to see, uh, this.” I motioned in their general direction. Jessica laughed and climbed off Justin.

“Oh, don’t be such a priss, Addison.”

“I’m not being a priss. I just wasn’t expecting to come home to people making out on my couch.” She rolled her eyes. “Great to see you too. Hey, Justin. Can I steal you for a sec?” I waved upstairs. “There’s snacks in the cupboard, Jess.”

Justin followed me upstairs, trying not to giggle at, assumingly, the fact that he didn’t get caught by my parents. I shut the door when we got to my room. “What the fuck Justin?”

“What?” He shrugged.

“What do you mean what?”

“What?”

“Making out with a girl on our couch?” He was trying to avoid eye contact. My parents are going to kill him.

“No one was home. It’s not a big deal.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“I don’t know, a couple weeks?” I blinked at him. He was still trying to look away from me. I grabbed his face and made him look at me.

“Are you fucking high right now?”

“No? What? Why would you ask that?” His eyes were bloodshot. He was acting very much like Justin when Justin has been indulging in Bryce’s stash.

“Don’t lie to me Justin Foley. You know my parent’s rules. Do you want them to freak out?”

“Oh, come on Addison. It was a little weed. It’s not that big of a deal.” I sighed heavily.

“You know what, whatever. You obviously don’t care. So, I suggest you tell your girlfriend to leave or figure out a way to sober up before they get home. And if that fails, tell her to leave, and come hide in here until you’re sober enough to face them.” I grabbed a book off my shelf and went back downstairs. I nodded at Jessica, who had made herself some crackers and dip. Sitting at the table, I texted Monty.

Justin and Jessica? Did you know about this? He responded a couple of minutes later.

No? Actually?

Yeah. They were making out on my couch when I got home. And to make things even more awkward and complicated, they’re both high.

I mean, to be fair, weed isn’t really that bad.

Yeah. I know. But that’s not the point. My parents are going to freak. Now is really not the time to be pissing them off.

Oh crap. You guys leave for Boston soon, don’t you?

Next week. And if Justin can’t keep his shit together… I left the unspoken implication hang in cyberspace. Are you really just going to ignore the fact that they were on the couch?

I was hoping to just ignore that fact.

Our make out spots are becoming fewer and further between.

We could just stay in your bed, Doll.

But the couch has the TV. So we can not watch a movie without worrying about my laptop falling.

“Who you texting so much?” Jessica asked, trying to peer at my phone.

“Friend from Boston.” I said, locking my phone.

“Oh, friend from Boston, you say? Is he cute?”

“I guess? His girlfriend probably thinks so.”

“Oh. Not a secret long distance lover then?”

“No. And we grew up together. It would be weird.” I slipped my phone in my pocket and grabbed some cereal. We both looked up when my parents got home. I took that as my cue to go get Justin. I practically kicked him downstairs so he could go entertain his girlfriend with my parents and I could have some time to process how I missed it. Probably the same way he has missed me having a boyfriend for… almost a year.

The day before we left for Boston, Justin and I were running around like mad men. I had plans with Monty and Justin had plans with Jessica tonight, so I didn’t want to be too long packing. Unfortunately, neither of us could find anything we wanted to bring. It was going to be nice so I wanted to bring some dresses. We had a few things planned, but like with our other trips, there would be plenty of time to lounge around the house.

“Have you seen my pink and green dress?”

“The one with the stripes? No. Have you seen my blue shirt?”

“I think mum put it in the wash.”

“Okay.” Justin went down the hall to the bathroom. “Has anyone seen my shampoo?” He called.

“It’s in here.” My dad called from their room. I was busy ripping apart my closet. I groaned in frustration.

“You know, it’s just Boston. We go every year.”

“I know Justin. I just like to be prepared for every eventuality.”

“Yeah. Wait… are you trying to impress Adrian?” Justin laughed. I turned and he was leaning against the doorframe.

“No. Absolutely not. Besides, he has a girlfriend.” A girlfriend I happen to like.

“If you say so.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off as he went back to packing his bag. I gave up on my closet and decided to tackle our toiletries. I wasn’t too concerned with travel sizes because it was all going in my checked luggage.

“Decide what book you’re taking with you Addy?”

“Don’t you mean books, plural? It is a 6-hour flight after all.” He laughed.

“Okay, okay. Books?”

“I’m happy you asked.” I grinned as I pulled out the Barnes & Noble bag from under my bed. His jaw dropped. I shrugged.

“Your parents are going to freak.”

“They know I went book shopping.”

After a very long day of packing, Justin left to go meet Jessica. I texted Monty to let him know I would be leaving in about fifteen minutes. “I’m going to hang out with Alex and Clay for a bit.” I told my parents.

“Just remember we leave early tomorrow for the airport Addison.” My dad said, not looking up from his list. My mom was emptying the fridge.

“I will.”

When I got to the cliffside where we agreed to meet, Monty was waiting for me. I couldn’t help myself. I ran and held onto him like it was the last time I would ever see him. “You’re only leaving for two weeks Addison.” He grunted at the impact.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” He kissed the top of my head. We stood like that for a few more minutes before finally separating. I took his hand and led him up the trail. It was good for both of us to be walking the trails. He was starting summer training with the boys while we were gone, and I was going to be sitting for around 8 hours straight tomorrow. Provided our flight wasn’t delayed, of course. It was just starting to get dark, and I stopped along the way to take in the town’s skyline in the evening dusk. Monty rested his chin on top of my head, and I sighed, leaning back into him. It was so peaceful. I looked up and him and noticed a small bruise forming on his jaw. Not wanting to start a fight right before I left for two weeks, I pretended I hadn’t seen it. I smiled sadly to myself still. I wish he would just talk to me about it.

After a few hours, wandering around and soaking in the last time we would have for a couple of weeks, which feels like an eternity when you’re 16, we knew it was time to say goodbye. When we got to the parking lot, he made me turn around at his Jeep. I furrowed my brow. Before I could ask, he twirled his finger in the air. I clamped my mouth closed and turned. He rummaged around for a minute. “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see. Just wait a minute.” I huffed. He chuckled. “Ah.” He muttered. He tapped me on the shoulder. I turned. He held out a small Barnes and Noble bag. I was taken aback. I wasn’t expecting anything. I pointed at the bag and then at me.

“F-for me?”

“It’s not much so don’t start.” He smiled, shyly.

“Okay.” I took the bag.

“I can’t wrap stuff worth shit, so the bag is as good as you’re going to get.” I laughed and shrugged. It was a fair enough explanation. I opened the bag and pulled out a spiralbound notebook. The cover was pink with the titles of all the classics on it. I smiled. “You won’t be here for your birthday, and I know your notebook is getting full so….” Monty trailed off.

“Thank you. This is really sweet.” I flipped it open and gasped. On the first page, he had drawn a book like on the cover, and titled it The Next Classic and written Hawthorne at the bottom where the author’s last name sometimes appears.

“Happy birthday, Addison.”

“Oh.” I smiled. My eyes had started to tear up. This was the sweetest gift anyone had ever given me. I closed the gap between us and kissed him. He pulled me closer to him and I deepened the kiss just a little. Not too much, just enough to make him remember me while I was gone.I had finished the last book on my To Read shelf by mid-May. Hopping off my bed, I went over to my bookshelf. There was only one shelf of space left. The stack to shelve had gotten a tad out of hand. Sighing to myself, I sat down to start reorganizing. I pulled the books from H to Z down to fit the new additions to my collection in. My dad poked his head in when the stack fell over. “Everything okay in here?” I was surrounded by books. Dad tried not to laugh as he took the scene in. Grabbing books, I turned back to the shelf.“Perfect. Totally meant to sit in a sea of books this afternoon.” “Sure. You have fun with that. I have to head into the office for a while. Tell your mother I probably won’t be home for dinner.” “Will do.” I nodded, not turning my attention back to him. Monty texted me shortly after I had finished the M’s. What are you up to today? Organizing my bookshelf. I finished my TBR so now they go in the permanent collection. Only my girlfriend would make a permanent book collection and a separate section for books that aren’t done. Hey! Lots of people do this. Yes honey. What are you up to today? Trying to study for my last History test. It’s very boring. I’m sure it is. If you’re free Saturday, how about a get out of studying free card? Oh? What did you have in mind Doll? I rolled my eyes and grinned. Of course he thought I meant something dirty. Cool your jets Monty. I was going to see if you wanted to go to the bookstore with me?I can make that happen. What time? I think Clay and I are getting lunch to go over our study guide for the Math final. I could do like 1?Sounds good. Do you want me to meet you at the bookstore? Sure. I go to the B&N at the Everglade. It’s a date. I smiled and went back to my books. When it was done, I snapped a picture and sent it to Justin. I finished my TBR! You know what that means?Oh no. More books? More books! Do I have to come with you?No. The parents gave me a limit of 10 books this time. Only 10?I have points saved up. And 10 is a perfectly reasonable amount of new books. For you? Yes. For normal people? No. Oh shhh, or I’ll make you come with me. Okay, okay. It’s reasonable lol. I texted Monty a picture of my bookshelf too. He responded with a laughing emoji. Teachers were beginning to wrap up final units and hand out study guides for finals. Justin was still mad about summer school so he kept up his not giving a shit attitude. I rolled my eyes whenever he sighed or complained about finals. And I stopped offering to help him. If he wanted to do more work in summer school, that was fine by me. It gave me more time to spend with Monty. On Saturday, I met Clay at Rosie’s and we both got milkshakes. I wasn’t very hungry, and I didn’t want burger breath later. “So Clay, how’s Hannah doing?” “I don’t know. We have hung out a few times, and I see her at work, but I don’t think we have hung out hung out.” “You still haven’t asked her out?” “I mean, we went to Jeff’s place not together, but we were both there, and I feel like maybe we connected?” “Connected?” “Well, we were doing… stuff… and we talked.” My eyes widened. “Clay Jensen did you do drugs in Jeff’s basement?” “Maybe?” I was stunned. “Well, I’ll be damned. Clay Jensen, having fun. I never thought I’d see the day.”“Ha ha.” He joked. “I’m kidding! But seriously. Take the risk Clay.” “I’ll think about it. Can we look at this study guide now?” I sighed and pulled it out of my bag. We both shuddered. This is not going to be a pretty exam.By the time Clay and I called it an afternoon, it was 12:30. That gave me just enough time to get to the city. We packed our notes and headed outside. “Man, I really need a car.” Clay sighed, unlocking his bike. “Your parents said no?” “I have a bike.” He waved towards the bike. “That you do. I would offer you a ride, but I’m headed into the city for the afternoon.” “No worries, Addy.” He smiled. We waved goodbye and I watched as he biked down the street. I started my car and texted Monty. Leaving Rosie’s now. Might be a little late. Drive safe. Sounds good, drive safe Doll. I stopped at Starbucks when I got to the mall and got an iced coffee to sip while I browse and a coffee for Montgomery. He was waiting outside Barnes & Noble for me. “Hey handsome. Fancy seeing you here.” I winked as I walked up to him.“Hey gorgeous. What can I say, thought it would be a good way to find a girl. You know what they say about the readers.” “I have a feeling I do.” I laughed and handed him his coffee. “Something to do with being high strung, overachievers with daddy issues?” “Somethin’ like that.” Monty took my hand and let me lead him into the bookstore. I decided I would keep my ten-book limit to myself. I knew how many points I had, and I still had birthday money left from last year. He chuckled as I practically dragged him towards the YA section. I didn’t stop to look at the romance displays or the cookbooks or the journals. I was on a mission. There were books to buy. I sipped my coffee as I browsed. As usual, I made my way up and down the aisles quickly once to see if anything immediately caught my eye. A couple of books did, so I grabbed them to look over after I was done my power walk. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you move that fast.” “Ass.” I laughed as I read over the synopsizes of the two books. Neither of them was my cup of tea in the end, so I decided to put them back. I could feel Montgomery watching me as I looked at the shelves. “What?” I asked as I pulled a book down and skimmed the back. “Nothin’. You’re just cute is all.” “Oh?” “Yeah. And those shorts are very nice.” I blushed and smiled softly. “Thanks.” I handed him the book. “Oh, I see. You needed someone to carry the books.”“Well, who else would I have asked, when I have my strong, athletic boyfriend to follow me around the store?” He only laughed in response. I grabbed a few more books as I sipped at my coffee. Once in a while, I would notice him watching me and turn to smile at him. There were six books in Monty’s hands before he finished his coffee. “I’m going to throw this out. Try to leave some books for the next person, okay Bookworm?” “I’ll try. No promises though.” I mused. By the time he came back, I had three more books. I looked up when I heard him laugh. I grinned at him and held out the books. He took them, tucked them under his arm, and stepped towards me. My brow furrowed and he reached to tuck my hair behind my ear, trailing his hand down to cup the back of my neck, and pull me towards him to kiss me. I kissed him back softly. It was nice to be able to kiss in public. I liked our little bubble. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. He pulled away first. We continued to peruse the store for a while and stole kisses and glances along the way. Monty slid his hand in my back pocket as we walked. I grabbed another couple of books and sighed. “What’s up?” “I guess that’s enough books for a little while.” “For a little while? Addison. There’s like,” he paused to count, “sixteen books here.” “Yeah. And that isn’t even all of what is on my TBR still. And it’s buy one get one half off all books.” I shrugged. “Jesus. Crazy woman.” He muttered softly and kissed the side of my head. I sighed and turned to head for the till. After discounts, points, and birthday money, my total was twenty-five dollars. “Now to figure out how to sneak the extra six books into the house.” I muttered as we left. “The extra what whats?” “Uh… nothing.” I smiled sheepishly. He shook his head playfully. “Oh, hey. Pretzels. Split one?” “Nice change of subject. Sure. Pretzel sounds good.” He rubbed my hand as he held it. This is nice. In late June, just as finals week was hitting its peak, tragedy struck our little group of jocks. The boys were at Bryce’s trying to blow off some steam. I was trying to be nice to him and make an effort for Justin, so I tagged along. The way his family approached and flaunted their money always took me by surprise. I wasn’t oblivious. I knew my family had more money than most. More than I liked to consider or admit. But it was never flashed around the way it was with the Walkers. I came from old money on my dad’s side, like his mom. But unlike him, I wasn’t exposed to it on a daily basis. The concept of a twice a week maid was enough to widen my eyes. The only time my family had a maid come was when Gran was coming to stay with us, or we were hosting Christmas back when all my grandparents lived state-side, so a very deep clean was needed. The fact that they had a chef come in once a week to meal prep for them was… almost incomprehensible. The only time I met a chef was when I found a hair in my food when my family went out one night. I had been to his house before of course. I was friends with Justin. We shared custody of him most weeks. Even still, I found myself hanging back and watching the boys socialize. Or I was trying to at least. Bryce thrusting a bottle of water in my hand startled me. I jumped slightly. “Thanks.” I muttered. “Don’t mention it.” He chuckled. He settled himself next to me and leaned back against the counter. “Hi.” “Hi. You know that they will talk to you, right? They know you.” “I know.” “Okay. I’ll talk to you then.” Great. Just what I want. “Sure Bryce.” “How are finals treating you?” “I cried before my honours English final yesterday.” “I almost forgot about my math final.” “So, we are basically in the same boat.” “Basically. You had bio and history today?” “Yeah.” “How were they?” “I think I did fairly okay. Can you imagine what my mum would do if I bombed the history final?” He stared off into space with me and shivered. “I would say something nice about you at your funeral.” “Thanks Walker. Killing me does seem like a lot of hassle for that though. Like it seems like it would just inconvenience them. Maybe locked in my room to study until I’m forty?” “True. I would text you news updates. Keep you updated in all things Bryce and the boys.” “Prefect. Make isolation at least a little bit bearable.” He was actually kind of nice sometimes. Maybe. If I squinted.“Yeah. My dad would have freaked if I missed my math final.” “How could you take over the family business if you fail tenth grade math Bryce?” “No idea. Not like he doesn’t pay someone to do all that math for him. Speaking of, he wanted me to ask you if your dad is taking on any new clients now that tax season is winding down?” “I don’t know. I don’t think he is, but I can get him to email your dad.” I don’t think he’s going to take your dad on. “I’ll let him know.” “Where are you off to this summer?” “I think we are summering in Fiji?” “Because California isn’t summer-y enough?” “Mom thinks the sun feels different. More sunny. I tan better in tropical environments.” “Sure, you do.”“What are your family’s plans?” “We have our annual family trip to Boston at the end of July into the first week of August. Dad pushed his vacation time this year.” “Doesn’t he own the company?” “Yeah. But his associate wanted to take vacation in mid-July. She’s taking her kids to Disney World.” “Again, doesn’t he own the company?”“Again, yes. Why?” “Shouldn’t he get first pick?” “Well, our vacation basically costs us airfare, food, and spending money. Hers and everyone else’s costs a lot more. And requires more planning. So, he lets them have first pick and takes whatever’s left for the most part. Because of that, people are more willing to pick fairly.” “Interesting.”“Are you two going to come outside or not?” Justin called from the back yard. Bryce and I looked up and found the house empty. All the boys had moved to the back. We shrugged and joined them. I needed to pass the sniff test so I didn’t dare go in the pool house. Anders and Dylan were in the pool house enjoying Bryce’s stash. It was already nearing eighty degrees in the daytime. We were in for a hot summer. Justin pulled off his shirt, dropped his pants, and jumped in the pool. Shaking my head, I followed Bryce outside. I sat on the edge of the pool and dipped my feet in the water. Monty was trying to be discreet and swim backwards towards me. He stopped just shy of me and shared a look with Zach. I pretended not to notice. It looked like I was busy watching Justin goof off with Bryce and Garrison. I was watching my boyfriend out of the corner of my eye though. I felt a wave close to my foot. “Montgomery. If you touch my foot, I’m not responsible for what happens to your face.” His hand stopped and his eyes widened. Justin laughed and called from across the pool. “She isn’t wrong dude. She kicked me in the face when I was trying to bug her one time.” “I wasn’t going to….” Monty trailed off. “Sure, you weren’t.” I shook my head and moved to stand up. I pulled my tank top over my head. The shorts I was wearing were fine to go in the water. Seeing as we had to keep up appearances, I couldn’t very well ask Monty to tighten the tie on my bikini top. That would be too much. The boys would question that. Joking around and talking to each other in a group was okay. Touching was not. “Hey Justin, do you mind?” I gestured to my back, not looking at the pool. “He’s a little busy.” Bryce said. I could hear splashing behind me. “Zach?” “Sure.” He climbed out of the pool and untied the bottom strings. He pulled them tighter in a knot and doubled the bow. “Good?” “Yeah.” I turned around. “Thanks.” Bryce whistled. Gross.“Why are you keeping her all to yourself again?” He asked Justin. I flipped him off. Why am I being nice to you again? “I’m not. It’s Addison. Even if I was, I don’t share Bryce.” He seemed to shut the conversation down. Only I could pick up on the stern undertone in his voice. Just as quickly as it came, it was gone, and they were back to goofing off again. I slipped in the pool and noticing Justin was distracted, I swam over to him and jumped on his back. I may have accidentally splashed Monty in my jumping. I snuck a peek at him and he was rolling his eyes and laughing. “Chicken?” Justin asked. His hands went to my thighs unconsciously. “No. You dropped me last time. Though it would be entertaining trying to watch the rest of you lift each other.” “We’re strong.” The boys around me protested. They all made a show of flexing. “Yes, yes. You’re all strong and hot. With superior athletic abilities. Go you.” I laughed. “Ha! I told you she thinks I’m hot.” Bryce pointed at Justin. “It doesn’t count if you’re objectively attractive Walker. I also think the blond guy from the Percy Jackson movie is hot. Because he is objectively attractive.” “Objectively attractive?” “You’re lucky you’re rich.” I muttered. Justin choked. “You’re a very pretty man Bryce Walker.” “Do we get called pretty too Addison?” Monty asked.“If you don’t call me by my full name again then sure Monty. You are also pretty. Foley, I swear if you drop me, you’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” His hand tightened around my thigh. The group of us hung out for a while. At some point Scott joined us. Even though we weren’t friends per say, he was still nice to me when I was around. He swam over to my corner of the pool. “I’m supposed to ask you if you think I’m pretty?” “Scott. If you don’t know you’re pretty, I don’t know what to say to you.” “Alright then. Why was I supposed to ask?” “I acknowledged Bryce is objectively attractive and the children felt left out.” “I see. Why are you hiding in a corner?” “Hiding from Justin. He’s trying to get me to play chicken. But I don’t feel like getting dropped again.” “And why does he think you’d get to play with anyone else?” “I think the attempt would be very entertaining actually.” There was a ringing over by the table. “Someone’s phone is ringing.” I called. The ringing stopped and started again immediately. Zach looked up. It was his phone. “It’s probably his mommy calling to tell him he has to come home before it gets dark.” Bryce teased. The boys laughed. I even chuckled a little to myself. Oh, how bad I would feel about that chuckle in a few hours. Zach splashed him. By the time the phone began its second round of ringing again, Zach was out of the pool and grabbing it. He was smiling when he answered it. “Hey Mom. I’m com-.” It was quiet. “Yeah, I’ll be right home.” He hung up and quickly pulled on his pants, over his wet swim trucks. He threw on his shirt and practically sprinted back in the house. He didn’t say a word to any of us as he left.“What’s going on with him?” Bryce said. We all stared after him. A few hours after I got home, I got a text from Bryce. Justin got the same text. Zach’s dad died. Justin and I sat and looked at each other at the table, shocked. We sat there for a solid ten minutes, trying to absorb the information we had been given. I was sure our friends were in the same position. How did you respond to something like that? None of us had ever lost a parent. Sure, I had lost a couple of grandparents. I probably wasn’t the only one. But they’re sort of expected to die. They’re old. They’ve lived. Our parents weren’t old. Not old enough to die yet anyway. I picked my phone back up and texted Zach the only thing I could think to say. He would hear the words a lot in the next few months. I am so sorry. I knew he wouldn’t answer. Zach wasn’t at school for the rest of the week. Not that he should have been. He had been excused from all of his other exams. Because of course he should have been. I didn’t see him until I was walking home from a date with Monty over the weekend. He was just… walking around town. He didn’t see me at first. When he noticed me standing up the street, he waved a little. I waved back and slowly walked over to him. Even though Zach Dempsey and I weren’t really friends, we were friendly. That’s why it didn’t feel weird when the only thing my brain said to do, was hug him. He didn’t cry. He didn’t say anything. He just hugged me back. We didn’t talk about that random, silent hug on the street again. Not for a long time at least. We simply nodded as we parted ways. He walked one way and I walked the other. July changed a lot of things. Bryce left town with his family a few days after Zach’s dad’s funeral. Seth was back in town too. That meant Justin spent most of the first couple of weeks of July at my house. He was right. My parents were not happy about him doing summer school. As his not-mom my mum had a strict ‘no fun until homework is done and checked’ rule. At first, I spent my time with Monty during school hours. We weren’t really sure what the summer meant for our relationship. Those first few dates, we mostly talked about that. “Well, I don’t want to not see you.” Monty said, between kisses in the backseat of my car. We had parked at a secluded clearing overlooking the river. “I don’t want to not see you either. It’s going to be hard though.” “Don’t talk about hard right now Doll. Please.” I pulled away and looked at him wide-eyed. “You don’t strike me as a public sex kind of girl. And I don’t want to get a public indecency charge.” “Yeah. I’m not.” I sat up. “Justin being at my place complicates things.” “Oh, I know.” He ground out as he adjusted his jeans. I could tell my cheeks were flushed. “We knew we couldn’t see each other every day.” “But it’s not easy not seeing you.” “I know it’s not.” “Why does this have to be so hard?” He sat back. “I don’t know.” Neither of us were ready nor willing to have the ‘tell other people’ talk. Even though it had been almost a year. And probably needed to happen. “Seeing each other while school is in, isn’t such a bad thing, is it?” “No.” “And I do have other friends. I could say I’m going to the city with Alex or something. Give us some more time?” “That’s true.” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “I could take you to the bookstore.” He blinked at me. “What?” “The bookstore?” “It’s air conditioned.” I shrugged and climbed into his lap. His hands instinctively found their way to my hips. “You just need someone to carry your books again.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I smirked. There was something different about Justin since he started summer school. I couldn’t put my finger on it. He was… distracted. I noticed he spent more time on his phone after homework than paying attention to what we were doing. Which was fine when it was show re-runs or my mom’s pick for movie night. But when you’re trying to play Ticket to Ride with a guy, it’s much easier when they are paying attention. “Hey. Earth to Justin. Hello?”“Huh?” He looked up from his phone. “It’s been your turn for the past five minutes.” “Shit, sorry.” He looked at his cards and the map. Picking up a red and a pink from the pile, he settled back in his chair. Interesting. I frowned at the board, trying to figure out what he was doing. I came back with nothing. His phone buzzed again. I glanced at it. So did he. Then my phone buzzed. He glanced at it. So, did I. It was like we were waiting to see who would grab their phone first. After a few beats, his hand went to his phone. He smirked a little and put it down. I didn’t check mine. I came home from a date with Monty a little late on Thursday. It was nearing five when I walked in the door, after I fixed my hair. I dropped my purse and stopped dead in my tracks. Justin had company. Company in the form of Jessica Davis. Who was currently sitting in his lap. On my couch. Making out with him. On my couch. They had their hands up each other’s shirts. On my couch. I cleared my throat. Jessica pulled away and turned towards me. “Oh, hey Addy.” She greeted, like this was normal. “Hey Addy. You’re… just getting home?” His speech was slowed. Are you shitting me? “Yeah. What’s going on?” “Your parents said I could have a friend over after class.” “Okay.” I blinked. She was still perched in his lap. I glanced at the clock. “I suggest you fix your shirts because they should be home soon. And I don’t think they want to see, uh, this.” I motioned in their general direction. Jessica laughed and climbed off Justin. “Oh, don’t be such a priss, Addison.” “I’m not being a priss. I just wasn’t expecting to come home to people making out on my couch.” She rolled her eyes. “Great to see you too. Hey, Justin. Can I steal you for a sec?” I waved upstairs. “There’s snacks in the cupboard, Jess.” Justin followed me upstairs, trying not to giggle at, assumingly, the fact that he didn’t get caught by my parents. I shut the door when we got to my room. “What the fuck Justin?” “What?” He shrugged. “What do you mean what?” “What?” “Making out with a girl on our couch?” He was trying to avoid eye contact. My parents are going to kill him. “No one was home. It’s not a big deal.” “How long has this been going on?” “I don’t know, a couple weeks?” I blinked at him. He was still trying to look away from me. I grabbed his face and made him look at me. “Are you fucking high right now?” “No? What? Why would you ask that?” His eyes were bloodshot. He was acting very much like Justin when Justin has been indulging in Bryce’s stash. “Don’t lie to me Justin Foley. You know my parent’s rules. Do you want them to freak out?” “Oh, come on Addison. It was a little weed. It’s not that big of a deal.” I sighed heavily. “You know what, whatever. You obviously don’t care. So, I suggest you tell your girlfriend to leave or figure out a way to sober up before they get home. And if that fails, tell her to leave, and come hide in here until you’re sober enough to face them.” I grabbed a book off my shelf and went back downstairs. I nodded at Jessica, who had made herself some crackers and dip. Sitting at the table, I texted Monty. Justin and Jessica? Did you know about this? He responded a couple of minutes later. No? Actually?Yeah. They were making out on my couch when I got home. And to make things even more awkward and complicated, they’re both high. I mean, to be fair, weed isn’t really that bad. Yeah. I know. But that’s not the point. My parents are going to freak. Now is really not the time to be pissing them off. Oh crap. You guys leave for Boston soon, don’t you? Next week. And if Justin can’t keep his shit together… I left the unspoken implication hang in cyberspace. Are you really just going to ignore the fact that they were on the couch?I was hoping to just ignore that fact. Our make out spots are becoming fewer and further between. We could just stay in your bed, Doll. But the couch has the TV. So we can not watch a movie without worrying about my laptop falling. “Who you texting so much?” Jessica asked, trying to peer at my phone. “Friend from Boston.” I said, locking my phone. “Oh, friend from Boston, you say? Is he cute?”“I guess? His girlfriend probably thinks so.” “Oh. Not a secret long distance lover then?”“No. And we grew up together. It would be weird.” I slipped my phone in my pocket and grabbed some cereal. We both looked up when my parents got home. I took that as my cue to go get Justin. I practically kicked him downstairs so he could go entertain his girlfriend with my parents and I could have some time to process how I missed it. Probably the same way he has missed me having a boyfriend for… almost a year. The day before we left for Boston, Justin and I were running around like mad men. I had plans with Monty and Justin had plans with Jessica tonight, so I didn’t want to be too long packing. Unfortunately, neither of us could find anything we wanted to bring. It was going to be nice so I wanted to bring some dresses. We had a few things planned, but like with our other trips, there would be plenty of time to lounge around the house. “Have you seen my pink and green dress?” “The one with the stripes? No. Have you seen my blue shirt?”“I think mum put it in the wash.” “Okay.” Justin went down the hall to the bathroom. “Has anyone seen my shampoo?” He called. “It’s in here.” My dad called from their room. I was busy ripping apart my closet. I groaned in frustration. “You know, it’s just Boston. We go every year.” “I know Justin. I just like to be prepared for every eventuality.” “Yeah. Wait… are you trying to impress Adrian?” Justin laughed. I turned and he was leaning against the doorframe. “No. Absolutely not. Besides, he has a girlfriend.” A girlfriend I happen to like. “If you say so.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off as he went back to packing his bag. I gave up on my closet and decided to tackle our toiletries. I wasn’t too concerned with travel sizes because it was all going in my checked luggage. “Decide what book you’re taking with you Addy?” “Don’t you mean books, plural? It is a 6-hour flight after all.” He laughed. “Okay, okay. Books?” “I’m happy you asked.” I grinned as I pulled out the Barnes & Noble bag from under my bed. His jaw dropped. I shrugged. “Your parents are going to freak.” “They know I went book shopping.” After a very long day of packing, Justin left to go meet Jessica. I texted Monty to let him know I would be leaving in about fifteen minutes. “I’m going to hang out with Alex and Clay for a bit.” I told my parents. “Just remember we leave early tomorrow for the airport Addison.” My dad said, not looking up from his list. My mom was emptying the fridge. “I will.” When I got to the cliffside where we agreed to meet, Monty was waiting for me. I couldn’t help myself. I ran and held onto him like it was the last time I would ever see him. “You’re only leaving for two weeks Addison.” He grunted at the impact. “I’m going to miss you.” “I’ll miss you too.” He kissed the top of my head. We stood like that for a few more minutes before finally separating. I took his hand and led him up the trail. It was good for both of us to be walking the trails. He was starting summer training with the boys while we were gone, and I was going to be sitting for around 8 hours straight tomorrow. Provided our flight wasn’t delayed, of course. It was just starting to get dark, and I stopped along the way to take in the town’s skyline in the evening dusk. Monty rested his chin on top of my head, and I sighed, leaning back into him. It was so peaceful. I looked up and him and noticed a small bruise forming on his jaw. Not wanting to start a fight right before I left for two weeks, I pretended I hadn’t seen it. I smiled sadly to myself still. I wish he would just talk to me about it. After a few hours, wandering around and soaking in the last time we would have for a couple of weeks, which feels like an eternity when you’re 16, we knew it was time to say goodbye. When we got to the parking lot, he made me turn around at his Jeep. I furrowed my brow. Before I could ask, he twirled his finger in the air. I clamped my mouth closed and turned. He rummaged around for a minute. “What are you doing?” “You’ll see. Just wait a minute.” I huffed. He chuckled. “Ah.” He muttered. He tapped me on the shoulder. I turned. He held out a small Barnes and Noble bag. I was taken aback. I wasn’t expecting anything. I pointed at the bag and then at me. “F-for me?” “It’s not much so don’t start.” He smiled, shyly. “Okay.” I took the bag. “I can’t wrap stuff worth shit, so the bag is as good as you’re going to get.” I laughed and shrugged. It was a fair enough explanation. I opened the bag and pulled out a spiralbound notebook. The cover was pink with the titles of all the classics on it. I smiled. “You won’t be here for your birthday, and I know your notebook is getting full so….” Monty trailed off. “Thank you. This is really sweet.” I flipped it open and gasped. On the first page, he had drawn a book like on the cover, and titled it The Next Classic and written Hawthorne at the bottom where the author’s last name sometimes appears. “Happy birthday, Addison.” “Oh.” I smiled. My eyes had started to tear up. This was the sweetest gift anyone had ever given me. I closed the gap between us and kissed him. He pulled me closer to him and I deepened the kiss just a little. Not too much, just enough to make him remember me while I was gone. 

[littleladymab]

recently my mindset has been "I just need to write something for myself i think that would fix me" after so many project deadlines. And since i finished the last one yesterday, I decided to celebrate by writing some OCs.

@bottlingsound sent me some prompts ages ago that I've been saving for a rainy day so here's "happy/modern!au" ayn and catoir 1) deciding what takeout to order and 2) reorganizing the bookshelf.

so, i wrote 650 words for myself (and Cara) and ah, much better, missed writing for these kids.

---

“Have you thought about what you want for dinner?”

Ayn doesn’t look up from where she’s contemplating the two different copies of Hamlet. Aren’t these both hers? What happened to Catoir’s copy? Hers carried her through her Shakespeare studies in undergrad and are filled with her cramped handwriting, but his is prettier and fits better with the aesthetic she is trying to form on this shelf. “You haven’t told me what the choices are.” 

Catoir’s socked foot nudges her shoulder and she laughs. “Last I checked, we haven’t moved since the last time we ordered take out. The choices are the same.” 

“What are you in the mood for?” 

He’s silent for a moment as he settles down behind her, spine to spine, and she waits for him to answer. But then he starts leaning back, forcing her to compress in towards the scattered Shakespeare in her lap. “Deep fried corn dogs,” he says in what must be his attempt at an American accent. “If I can’t feel my arteries clogging, then I don’t want them.” 

Ayn twists from beneath him and wraps her arms around him. “What will you do when I actually call you on your bluff?” 

Catoir tilts his head back against her shoulder and accepts the kiss that she places on his cheek. “If the day your mother dies is call for any sort of celebration—” 

She pinches his shoulder and he huffs out a laugh. “She’ll live for ever just to spite you.” 

“I’m convinced she’ll do that anyway.” 

Ayn hums in thought and reaches out to scroll through the app on his phone. “Thai,” she decides, selecting the restaurant. She lets him go and he sits up to put in their order, having to adjust his glasses from where she knocked them askew. “What happened to that fancy copy of Hamlet of yours?” 

“I think I gave it to Yutifu.” He turns and spots the two copies she’s once again contemplating. “It’s not that good that we need three versions.” 

“I know, but mine are both battered and used. It doesn’t match.” 

His gaze shifts from the books to the shelf. “What’s this, you’re trying to convince our guests that we have class?” 

Ayn blushes. “No,” she says, because that isn’t what she was trying to do but that’s certainly what it looks like now that she thinks about it. “I just wanted one shelf of pretty books together.” 

“They’re visiting us, they know what they’re getting into. The only person you’ll fool is Jocelyn.” 

With a roll of her eyes, she sets the Shakespeare aside. “Alright, fine. Shelf full of my extremely pretentious lit it is.” 

Catoir’s fingers brush through her hair and he presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Isn’t that just every shelf?”

“Cheeky.” 

“Food will be here in 45 minutes.” 

“Good.” Ayn stretches her arms up over her head, trying to relieve the uncomfortable hunch she had been sitting in. 

Catoir slaps her hand in a parting high-five. “Let me know if you need help.” 

“I think I got it, though I’ll probably still be organizing it while we watch TV. I want to get it done tonight.” 

“If you think that’s going to be your excuse for getting out of watching this show after you picked it—” 

With an overly dramatic gasp, she presses her hand to her chest and feigns a swoon. “I would never abandon you to such a fate!” 

He gives her one of his Serious(tm) looks over his glasses, though she knows him well enough that she is absolutely not cowed by it. She smiles winningly up at him, and because he knows her well enough, he’s absolutely not charmed. 

“Love you,” Ayn says and grins. 

Catoir grumbles something in response and turns away, but not before she spots the answering smile twitching at the corner of his lips. 

[museum-spaces]

tales from storage

So for the past two weeks my employee and I have been tackling the storage area of our museum. when we started we had 4 rooms; two complete messes, one semi organized newspaper archive, and one empty old boiler room - boiler has been decommissioned for years. Now we have two organized rooms, one slightly less organized newspaper archive, and an old boiler room with a few of our 'oversized' objects - bed frames etc.

i still have my employee for a week before I loose her 'til spring and we still have a chunk of stuff to put back into the rooms but here's what we did;

day 1; took everything out of room A, found the objects that I cannot talk about, set up a second shelf unit bringing the rooms shelves up to 7 from 4.

Day 2; set up a small table and went through box-by-box what was in the room. I took extensive notes and wrote numbers for all of them - we don't have archival pens yet so I haven't put those numbers on the actual objects, just in my book and on the box itself. We managed to get almost every thing from the original 3 shelves onto one of the new shelves.

day 3; call cops, have them stop by for the Things, continue reorganizing room A. This continues for day 4 as well.

Day 5; empty out storage room b, find a whole cash of semi-organized photos and what might be journals from the 1800s - discover on day 10 that they are actually journals from the 1960s, be disappointed.

Canadian Thanksgiving falls on day 6, so don't work that day.

Day 7; set up last shelf unit in room B bringing shelves up from 2 to 6, organize framed art storage - assign numbers and condition check all art as it is placed. Have loads of room left over for additional pieces as we redisplay the upstairs galleries. Move desk.

Day 8; day spent like day 4, but with added exploration of archives. spend a stupid long few hours sorting through old emails that previous management printed off and kept in folders to figure out which ones were from her ordering uniforms - which we don't use - and which ones dealt with research and museum matters.

Day 9; spend most of the day doing computer-y things with a bit more sorting thrown in for good measure. be very sick that day and go to the hospital at about 10pm.

Day 10; feeling much much better after only 12 hours, get back into sorting. Move desk again. also move filing cabinet. at one point in the afternoon decide to go through box found on day 5 with journals. discover the hard way that this box is FULL of mould. clean box out, have coughing fit, send employee - allergic to mould - out of the room. keep cleaning. accept mask from employee. sort through all the books in the box etc - 46 items including the box itself - carefully note and wrap each item from the box to help protect it from mould. realize we spent about 1.5 hours on the 46 items.

and that's the end of that.

It is a heck of a lot of fun to do this... but my employee, gods all bless her, doesn't really 'get' what I'm doing and that she can't just grab the next thing out of the box, rattle something off at me, hand it to me, then grab the next. We are working in a cramped space and I need to be able to sort through the things, put them in the relevant piles, and write detailed notes to myself for the catalogue. which is hard enough when you're writing on your lap let alone when someone keeps handing you things that NEED 2 handed support.

I can't wait for 6 working days from now when she'll be off for the winter and I can move at my own pace. No denying I need her right now - couldn't move half of this heavy stuff on my own - but I do look forward to the quiet.

[papermonkeyism]

Just to organize my thoughts re:pet.

My current life situation isn't compatible with my ultimate life goal (a cat), and I don't want a small rodent (just can't deal with a companion animal with a life span of two years or less), so I'm looking for something non-mammalian.

I'm planning on reorganizing my book shelf, and if I move my Black Jack collection (pictured) to an upper shelf, I could fit a small terrarium on its place.

Because I live in a tiny arse one-room apartment that's basically just a glorified cardboard box, it's currently the only place where I can fit an enclosure without it fucking with my ADHD (I cannot create new nooks and crannies without things getting seriously obstructed/cluttered). I have 27cm of height and depth at my disposal (though I could theoretically empty the entire shelf to get up to about 84cm in width if needed), so this limits my choice quite a bit. Too small for a reptile or frogs (saw some amazon milk frogs available through a local pet store, but the minimum recommended terrarium space was way bigger than my puny shelf). I might dream about a snake or a lizard of some sort in the future, but for now I have to go smaller.

So mainly looking for invertebrates. Current thoughts:

Spider not gonna happen if I ever want my mom to visit me again

Mantis probably not either. Extremely fun to look at, but solitary and with really short life span

Flower beetles. Shiny, small, easy to feed. Could get a handful, and then just keep having them in waves as I understand they're quite eager to breed.

Stick insects. Might be able to get for free? Though shelf space height limit might be too tight for arboreal things.

Scorpion. Surprisingly sturdy with a 5-8 year lifespan. Big enough to feel like an animal, but not too spider-looking to banish my mom??

Isopods. Quite small, so not sure how my attention span might handle them, but fun looking little things. (could you put isopods as a cleaning crew for a beetle colony or a scorpion? Idk, I saw someone selling isopod+spring tail packages for bioactive setups, but not sure if that'd work for other invertebrates)

I think my current top options are a small colony of flower beetles or a scorpion. I shall continue to ruminate on this, but I just wanted to type out my thoughts to organize them better.

[symphonicmetal101]

MC Struggles With Obsessive/Compulsive Behaviour

Ok, just to be clear.

I haven't been diagnosed with anything, which is why I refrain from writing "OCD" in the title. I've always known I'm a perfectionist- please be aware that there are some major differences between OCD and perfectionism, (despite what Youtube videos may say)- however I have had instances in which I have taken it too far and paid the price physically, mentally, and emotionally. Please be aware that these are all very real things that not only myself, but other people go through. I haven't had one of them in a long time, but my current circumstances make me feel like I might soon, so bear with me while I write another self-indulgent thing.

Or don't.🤷‍♀️

TW: compulsive/obsessive behaviour, a little self-deprecation as seasoning👌

Lucifer

At first, he's very happy to see that you are very organized and neat

One less thing for him to worry about

However, one day he walked past your room and saw you organizing your desk

He respected that, and continued on

The next day he passed by around the same time and saw you organizing your desk again

Odd, but perhaps one of his brothers had interfered and interrupted you, meaning you hadn't finished yesterday

It had been five days now, surely you weren't still cleaning your desk??

"MC, if my brothers bother you, you should close the door. Perhaps then you would be able to finish cleaning your desk properly. Unless you would like some direction in time management instead?"

Lucifer glanced behind you. To his surprise, your desk looked immaculate. He then saw your blushing face.

"Ah... well that's very kind of you Lucifer, however I'm afraid it's not an issue of time management or your brothers. Well, sometimes Mammon comes in and moves the pens around, so then I have to start over..."

"Start over?"

"Y-yeah." You explain your process to him, how you completely clear off your desk, to the type of cleaner you use, how many sprays, to how you like to stack your paper, to how you always have to have three paperclips to your right, and how the black pen is always in between the blue and the red.

"And when Mammon moves the pens...you start over?"

"Yeah. I do."

Lucifer has sympathy for you, put also struggles because it seems like a waste of time if he were to do it.

But he doesn't do it, and it seems to make you calm, so instead he buys you proper gloves for cleaning and a few more bottles of your cleaner

Mammon

"Come on MC, I wanna show ya something in my room."

Oh no

Nononono

You could feel yourself panicking a bit. Mammon's room was messy

Not messier than Levi's but still

But he looked really excited, so you reluctantly followed him

"TA-DA!!!"

Oh wow. His room was spotless!

"I-uh, noticed ya only seem to be comfortable in yours or Lucifer's room. It-it took a while for me to figure out why, but...whaddya think? Will it work for ya?"

He smiled at you and you could see a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

"It looks great! You even picked up the water bottles that were by your bed!!"

He instantly became more confident, his smile growing wider and his cheeks slightly flushed.

"Of course it looks great! Why wouldn't it?"

You gave him a withering stare

"Uh..yeah. Y'know, if ya had just told me ya didn't like it being so messy I woulda tidied up sooner. J-just make sure ya let me know if it gets too messy again. I want ya to be comfortable in more places than just your room, so my room seemed like a good idea."

His face was incredibly flushed

"Thank you Mammon. It really means a lot.

Levi

You had only been in Levi's room twice

But dear god

You really really really wanted to tidy things up for him

But you also knew what it was like to be very particular and have things "just-so"

Aksjsjshdgjak

"Hey Levi, can I make you deal?"

He took off one of his headphones to listen

"What's up?"

"This might be kinda weird. Can I take pictures of your stuff so I can reorganize and clean your room? That way if you don't like it, I'll put everything back?"

You could see confusion and slight panic that crossed his features.

"I'm sorry, I know it's weird, you don't have to say yes I-"

"Um, what exactly would you be doing?"

"Uhhh.."

He stopped his game to sit and talk with you for a bit.

"O-ok. Just that shelf is off-limits. And I'll stay in here to let you know if something isn't ok with me."

He watched in awe as you carefully rearranged his figurines by rarity as well as colour.

You crawled under his desk with velcro ties and made all the cords under there much more organized

You rearranged the pillows on his couch so that they were symmetrical on both sides, fluffing them and squishing them as you saw fit.

His manga was pretty organized, so you just straightened out the pile.

You organized his games in alphabetical order

The whole time you had been dusting stuff off as well

"There. That's better....what do you think Levi?"

"WOOOAAHH!!! I love it!! It looks really good MC!"

"Thanks for letting me do that."

"No problem...but w-why did you want to do it?"

You shrugged. "It calms me down? No, that's not quite it....I don't really now. As it is, I need to cut myself off otherwise I'll clean until I can't stand. Mind if I join you for a bit?"

He nods at you and hands you a control. As the game boots up he says, "Y-you're welcome to do that again if you need to...but that shelf is still off-limits."

You nod, grateful for his understanding.

Satan

He said he had a surprise date for you

So you followed him

To the Cat Cafe

Now, you love cats

And you love food

But the two of them together don't sit well with you

But Satan looked so eager and happy that you didn't hesitate much to go inside.

Everything was going really well until Satan asked if you wanted something to eat or drink.

You politely declined his offer, but he insisted on getting you something

You reluctantly chose a hot drink.

But as you watched the worker prepare your drink, you were horrified to see them carry a cat out from behind the counter, and then without washing their hands, snap the lid on your cup.

"Satan..I need to step outside for a bit."

He watched you in mild concern as you walked out the door and he waited for your and his order to be complete

You were pacing outside, trying to calm down.

Why did that upset me? I haven't even touched it yet. Besides, normal people don't usually care about stuff like that. And I can clean it??? Or grab another lid?? Fuck! Why am I like this?

Your train of thought was broken as Satan tapped on your shoulder, concern and curiosity apparent in his eyes.

"Are you alright? I noticed the worker didn't wash their hands after handling the cat, so I grabbed a couple lids on my way out. I was going to put it on for you, but I believe it would be best for all parties if you did it on your own."

You almost started crying as he handed you a paper towel with two lids in it.

"Why are there two?"

"Although it never particularly bothered me, I thought you may have wanted some solidarity. I can understand where you're coming from." He smiled sympathetically at you.

From that day forward, he paid extra attention to things while you were around to make sure you wohld feel comfortable. You two also managed to tackle the daunting task of properly organizing Satan's books so that you could spend more time in his otherwise clean room.

Asmo

"Darling, you look wonderful in that outfit!! And it's so hot outside, it's perfect!! I was just about to head out, do you want to join me?"

"That depends. Where are you going?"

"Oh, I'm just gonna do a little shopping. There was a cute top on sale at the mall yesterday, I just want to see if it's still there."

You told him you'd be right back.

When you got to your room you threw on a sweater, and then made sure you had your wallet and your phone.

You walked out of your bedroom, checking again, wallet, phone

As you approached Asmo, you checked again. Wallet, phone

"Are you ready to go?" You nodded and followed him out the door.

He made idle gossip with you until he noticed you were looking a little pale

"Oh my goodness, love are you alright? You should take this sweater off, you'll get much too hot!"

"I can't!" You panicked a bit, and he was caught off guard by your reaction.

"I- I'm sorry. But I use the sleeves to open doors and hold bags and stuff. I don't like touching that stuff. Even groceries are hard for me to touch, so I wash the groceries before I put them away when I get home. I enjoy shopping with you though, because you always know what kind of stuff I like just by looking at it, or feeling it for me. It's the same thing I explained before, where it's difficult for me to model the clothes for you until after they've been washed."

"Aww honey, I'm sorry. Next time I'll see if Mammon or Beel can come and help with your bags, m'kay? But you cannot stay in this sweater in weather like this. What about gloves? Would you be ok wearing gloves? I know a place where there's some really cute ones!! And I'll handle the doors for now, ok?"

You took off your sweater and tied it around your waist.

"Huh. I actually do feel a little better....thanks Asmo."

You two laughed lightly as he held open the door for the next shop.

Beel

You had waited for Beel to get out of one of his extracurriculars to walk home with him

You two were planning to eat together

However when you walked into the kitchen, you were greeted with a sink overflowing with dishes, and a sleeping Belphie on the island.

"Oh, uh, before I eat Beel, I'm going to clean that up. You go ahead though."

Belphie piped up, "Just throw what you can in the dishwasher....I'll do the rest later."

Beel looked concerned. "We were late getting home. Are you sure you're not hungry?"

"Oh...uh" you contemplated lying when your stomach gave you away.

"Just eat. I'll take care of the dishes. It's my turn anyways. I'll get to it soon."

"It's not a big deal Belphie, I'll just do them."

"But you're hungry, aren't you? Just eat first? Or did I do something? Is it something I can fix? I can go if it makes you more comfortable-" Beel looked disappointed. Of course it wasn't his fault.

You shook your head. "It's not you. It's me. I just- I don't know- ugh." You felt close to tears.

How the fuck were you supposed to explain yourself?

Beel pulled you into a hug. "Hey, it's ok. You don't have to tell us what's going on, but if you do it'll make it easier for us to help you."

He let go of you enough for you to step back and wipe tears from your eyes.

"I-I don't know what it is! But whenever I know there's something to be done, especially if I can see it, I have to do it before I do anything for myself. That includes eating, getting a glass of water, even going to the bathroom! And if I find another thing to do half way through he first thing, I'll just continue to postpone the thing I need to do for myself until I'm done or I forget about it..."

Silence settled across the kitchen.

"We'll help you do the dishes so it gets done faster, then you have to eat, ok?"

You smile and nod graciously as the twins helped you feel more comfortable

Belphie

"Come cuddle with meeee."

"Belphie, I need to study, please."

Belphie pouted. He was going to cuddle with you one way or another, even if he had to annoy you into it

Only what he didn't realize what he saw as "mildly annoying" was actually triggering for you

So he started messing with the postion of things on your desk.

"Stop it Belphie, I need to study."

"Yeah? Don't let me stop you, I'm just playing with your pen jar."

"But I asked you. To. Stop."

He huffed and put the pen jar down

But then he started to mess with your three pencils you had laid out, smallest to tallest.

"Why do you need three pencils?"

"Because. Now leave them alone."

He grinned.

"Because is hardly an answer and you know it. What would happen if I just took this one?"

"BELPHIE NO!" Your voice sounded between laughter and tears, butbhe figured it was just your way of begging.

"Belphie, please? I need that!"

He just grinned as he shifted into his demon form and passed the pencil to his tail and lazily flicked it back and forth.

Until he saw your face.

"Whatever. Do what you want, I'm done dealing with you." You walked out of your room, angry tears filling your eyes.

"W-wait! Shit! No, come back! I didn't-ugh." He groaned as he picked himself up to go after you, finding you on the outside steps of HOL.

"Hey, why're you crying? It was just a pencil. I put it back."

You pulled your head out of your hands.

"Yeah, but did you put it back right?"

Belphie looked at you perplexed...right? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

"Look, I'm sorry for using that tone with you. It's really hard for me to focus unless I have things a certain way. It may seem ridiculous to you, but that's just how I am. I don't know what causes it, I just know that it's a part of me. I'm working on it, but if I say stop, I need you to stop. Please."

"....okay. I'm sorry."

Masterlist

[darling-i-read-it]

The Great Red Dragon

3x08

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.9k 

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, dead bodies, blood, surgery, canniblism  

Author’s Note: I LOVE will graham and you can tell in this chapter i kinda went ham with my absolute adoration for him. Usually i try and hold back but im to sad to tonight so here is this love letter to will graham 

I used some direct quotes from the script so some things may seem familiar 

Official Episode Summary: As events jump forward three years, Jack seeks help as he pursues Francis Dolarhyde, AKA `The Tooth Fairy Killer'.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

Tag List (is always open!) : @llperfectsymmetryll​ @ericacactus​ @vlightning95​ @sweetgoodangel​

(not my gif) (can you tell i love will graham. i feel like its excessive now but he is so handsome in this episode and every epsiode but this episode too) 

Alana Bloom sat on an uncomfortable chair. The divider between her and Hannibal Lecter was a thick, clear plastic. To Hannibal they were sitting together at his desk. To her, to the reality of her, he sat in his jail cell. The two of them seemed comfortable with each other once again, now that there was no way Hannibal could lay his fingers on her again. 

It was the only reason Alana agreed to stay. 

“Congratulations, Hannibal. You’re officially insane.” 

In front of Hannibal were different and various papers. A newspaper sat there, detailing a family slaughtered in Buffalo. 

“There’s no consensus in the psychiatric community what I should be termed,” he said.

“You’ve long been regarded by your peers in psychiatry as something entirely Other. For convenience, they term you a monster.” Hannibal’s eyes flickered up, away from his papers and on to her. She had cleaned herself up since they were last close. The suit she wore made her look distinguished. Her hair up in curls. Sophisticated. 

“What do you term me?” he questioned.

“I don’t. You defy categorization.” 

“Do you still prefer beer to wine?” he questioned. She pursed her lips, remembering bad memories.

“Stopped drinking beer when I found out what you were putting in mine.”

“Who,” he corrected. She gave the slightest of nods.

“Who.” She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “This means you’ll be spared the federal death sentence. They had enough to convict you dozen times over.” 

“A baker’s dozen. Lest we forget Mason Verger. You’re welcome.” 

“You’re welcome Hannibal. The needle was guaranteed. But you beat it all on an insanity plea.”

“I’m not insane.” Alana nodded. She understood that.

“You know that and I know that. A dozen or a baker’s dozen, enough people have died.” 

“You haven’t,” he pointed out simply. 

“A promise in waiting, isn’t it? A promise you intend to keep.” 

“I always keep my promises.” His lips flew into a small smile. Alana simply adjusted her spot in the seat.

-

“Get out of my chair, Frederick.” 

Chilton stood up from Alana’s chair. Since she had become the director of the asylum things had been changed. For the better. Chilton was crooked, despite his frequent placing in her chair. She walked over and sat down at her desk and reorganized the documents that Chilton had been messing with. 

“Shall we join hands in prayer of gratitude? ‘Thank you, Father, for allowing us to remove this monster, monster of monsters, from your flock. Thank you on behalf of the souls We will spare of pain.’” Chilton stood at the other side of her desk now. 

“Thank you on behalf of the monster.” She leaned back in her chair. “Was that the magisterial We?” 

“It’s our cabal, yours and mine. Hannibal Lecter will spend the rest of his life in a state institution, watching the diaper cart go by.”

“We lied. You wrote a book of lies,” she pointed out.

“Not difficult to see lies flying above my head, but it is almost impossible to shoot them down,” he pointed out. 

“You should be lucky that Y/N is a respectable woman. She should have sued you for what you insinuated between her and Hannibal,” she pointed out.

“You say that only because you couldn’t sue me for speaking the truth about you and Hannibal.” He dragged a finger along the desk. “I wasn’t invited to the wedding though.”

“You held the groom at this asylum when you ran it,” she pointed out.

“Still. I put the actual murderer in jail.” 

“I’m pretty sure they did that.” She picked up her pen. “Either way, Hannibal will shoot down your lies. He’s written a brilliant piece for The American Journal of Psychiatry.” 

“Everything he writes is always about problems he doesn’t have,” Chilton said. 

“What he’s written is going to be your problem. It’s not so much an article as it is a rebuttal.” She smiled to herself. “He has an acid pen.” 

-

Will stood out by the shed. The dogs were balancing around him, running around and barking happily. Will was bundled against the cold although you had been the person who threw all of the layers at him. The dogs kicked up the snow. He was repairing the fence out there, something to keep busy. 

He looked up the gravel driveway and a black SVU came down the track. 

He let out a sigh, caught by the cold. 

Jack Crawford came out of the car.

-

“Don’t want to talk inside?” Jack asked as Will handed him a mug of hot cider. Several stray dogs lay and mill at their feet as Will leaned against the porch railing. “Don’t want to let me inside. Come too far to let the cold stop me, Will.” 

Will pursed his lips.

“Bold of you to show up.”

“Where’s Y/N?” he questioned.

“Making dinner. She didn’t hear you coming up and was, lucky for you, unaware I was making two cups of cider.” Will was relaxed but his tone was uneven. 

“You don't want to talk about it here,” Jack said.

“I don't want to talk about it anywhere. You’ve got to talk about it, so let’s have it. Just don’t get out any pictures. There’s no point in doing that.” 

“How much do you know?” Jack questioned.

“Two families killed, in their homes, a month apart. Similar circumstances,” Will said. You and him and passed the newspaper to each other at breakfast. Looked into it. 

“Not ‘similar’. The same. You ever think about giving me a call?” 

“If I ever thought about it Y/N would divorce me on the spot. But I didn’t think about it,” he admitted.

“You know what it is,” Jack said. 

“I didn’t think about calling you because I didn’t want to. I don’t think I’d be all that useful to you, Jack. I never think about it anymore. I don’t believe I could do it now.” Will looked down at the lakeshore and Jack pulled out two pictures from his jacket pocket. He flipped them out on the table. Will looked down at them. 

“All dead. This freak seems to be in phase with the moon.” Jack tapped the photos. “Killed the Jacobis in Chicago almost four weeks ago. Full moon. Killed the Leeds family in Buffalo night before last. One day short of a lunar month. If we’re lucky we have a little over three weeks before he does it again.” 

“Will!” Your voice carried in from the home. Both men looked over. 

“Looks like your luck has run out Jack.” You opened the door to alert Will that dinner was done. Upon seeing Jack you stopped. For a moment you were wordless. You looked down at the two pictures on the table, at Will, and then back at Jack. You recognized those people from the newspapers. You took in a deep breath and held your composure.

“If you want to by any chance keep your head I would recommend picking up those pictures, putting them back in your pocket, getting off my goddamn porch and driving your car back to where you came from,” you said evenly. “And give me that cup of cider.” Jack handed it to you and you snatched it, allowing it to spill on your hand without a reaction. “We need Will’s help. More of these families are going to die,” Jack said.

“I’m not going to let this happen again. I let it happen once.” 

“You would sacrifice families lives for the miniscule chance one person gets a little hurt?” You stepped forward to him but Will lifted his hand. You stopped but you were still pretty close. 

“If that one person is Will then yes. He’s saved enough lives.”

“He isn’t going anywhere,” Will said. You looked up at him and stepped back. 

“Dinner is done,” you said and turned back into the house. Jack and Will shared a look.

“So,” Will started, pushing himself off of the balcony railing. “Joining us for dinner?” 

-

You sat beside Will who was at the head of the table. Jack observed the house. It looked simplistic, comforting. On the small shelf by the table were picture frames. Each one of both of you. One when you were fishing, a small fish in front of your face as you laughed. One of Will by the fireplace in the Baltimore house. A couple from the wedding of the two of you looking happier than Jack had ever seen. 

Jack had been at the wedding. Will invited him discreetly and because you were so distracted by your own happiness you couldn’t fight. You looked amazing. It had been a long time coming that day and when it did come everyone celebrated. There were even pictures of you, Margot and Alana on that day, cheering to a new beginning. 

“People dump small dogs here all the time. I can give away the cute ones, rest, stay around and get to be big ones,” you muttered, petting the dog at your feet. 

“You’ve always been a sucker for strays,” Will said.

“You’re not fooling anyone Will.” You stabbed at the plate and took a bite. Will placed a hand on your thigh and kept it there. You put your hand on top of his destreetly. 

“Got a nice life here,” Jack said. 

“I’m lucky here. I know that,” Will said. 

“Surprised there aren’t any kids yet. Bella and I wanted them but with my job we could never fit it in.” The mention of Bella would make you sympathize with him and he knew that. Despite having calmed down a bit you still held up a good face. 

“We have a lot of dogs although I can’t say we haven't been trying,” Will said. His face flushed a bit but you were so mad still you couldn’t even be flustered. Will knew there were some things you needed to say to Jack that you couldn't’ say in front of him. “I’m going to take the dogs out to pee.” He tapped your thigh once more before letting his hand leave as he stood up from the dinner table. You nodded numbly as he left, watching him go.

Your gaze went back to Jack. 

“When you came into his classroom that day I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt but you failed me Jack. Countless times, you failed me.” 

“You left me there to die In Florence.” You smiled. 

“A fond memory.” You placed your fork down carefully. “You’re going to take him no matter how much I want to kill you for it.” 

“I have to. I’ll make it as easy on him as I can. He’s changed. It’s great you got married.” You nodded.

“He’s better and better. He doesn’t have nightmares anymore.” You paused and collected yourself. “He was really obsessed with the dogs for a while. Now he just takes care of them. He doesn’t talk about them all the time. Doesn’t worry about them.” 

“I know what it is I’m asking Y/N. And I wished to God I didn’t have to.”

You smiled slightly at what you were about to say.

“If he decides to go, and that’s a big if, he will not be going alone.” Jack nodded slowly. He figured this would happen. There was nowhere he went you would not follow.

“I know.”

“And you’re willing to deal with me for as long as it takes to get rid of this killer?” 

“If I have to.”

-

You sat on your bed. The world was quiet out here. You loved it. Will loved it. It was why you got it together, your first joint home purchase. Will was taking off his shoes and you put your arms around him from behind. 

He cuddled his head against yours. He could feel your breath against his skin when you spoke.

“I don’t want you to go, you know that.” 

“I don’t imagine you’ll let me go alone,” he whispered. “But you know if I go, I’ll be different when I get back.” You nodded.

“I loved you at your worst and I’ll love you for the rest of the time you’ll let me,” you promised. You kissed him tenderly and his hands rested on your cheek, moving your body with his other hand so that he didn’t have to crane his neck. 

-

Darkness moved around the bedroom peacefully. You slept beside Will but he was awake. He looked over at you and then slid out of bed. He pulled open a drawer quietly and took out a letter. The envelope is addressed to Will and Y/N, through the FBI. He hadn’t shown you this yet. He wasn’t sure if he should. 

But you had felt him get up. Years of feeling when he was having a nightmare trained you for that kind of moment. You sat up and slid out of bed. Will looked over to you.

“What’s that?” 

“I wasn’t going to show it to you.”

You walked over to him and put your arms around him from behind. You looked at the letter and the second you saw the handwriting you froze. 

“Is it directed to you?”

“Both of us.”

You took it from his hands and stood up straight. 

‘Dear Will and Y/N, we have all found a new life, but our old lives hover in the shadows, like incipient madness. Soon enough, I fear Jack Crawford will come knocking. I encourage Will, as a friend, not to step back through the door he holds open. I don’t doubt Y/N will protest against this ever happening but in case her will is not strong enough I must promise that there is darkness on the other side of the door and madness is waiting.’ 

You handed him the paper. 

“I’m calling the girls from down the street. Their teenagers will watch the dogs.” 

-

Will and you looked through the Leeds house. The two of you looked at the bloody remnants of what had happened there. You weren’t there to observe though. You were there for moral support. 

His eyes were shut for a while. You watched him stand there. You were silent.

Until he opened his eyes and a deep breath left his lips. You quickly approached him and hugged him tightly. He hugged you back, catching his breath in your arms.

-

“Jimmy you’re the light of my life,” Jack said.

“I know. The print’s smudged. Came off Mrs. Leeds eye. Never did that before. Never would’ve seen it, but it stood out against an eight-ball hemorrhage,” Jimmy explained. You, Will, Jack, Jimmy and Brian all stood in the morgue together. He kept stealing glances at you and Will whose thoughts were elsewhere. “I just...I can’t believe you’re back. I’m surprised you're back.”

“I’m surprised Y/N didn’t drag Jack's dead body in here,” Brian said. He hit Will’s back. “Welcome back.” 

-

Jack looked up from his desk to see Will and you standing before him. You were both looking at the information sheet. 

“You were asking about the dog. Last night, a vet called the police. Leeds and his oldest boy brought it into the bet the afternoon before they were killed,” Jack explained. 

“What’s going to happen to it?” Will asked.

“Please don't worry about the dog.” Will smiled a bit.

“What do you expect me to do?” he whispered. You smiled at him. Ever the sweetie. 

“Best you can, that’s all. Busyworks been a narcotic for me sometimes, especially after I quit the booze. For you too, I think,” Jack said. 

“There’s something else we can do,” you started. You paused for a moment. You and Will had talked this over just briefly but you understood it was what you needed. “We can wait until Will is driven to it by desperation in the last days before the full moon. Or we could do it now, while it might be of some use,” you finished. 

“Is there an opinion you want?” Will nodded slowly.

“We have to see Hannibal.”

3x09

[harry-styles-sunflower]

Last Christmas

a/n: Pure fluff, some cursing, 3k, thats all :) Please reblog and let me know what you think! 

//

You were walking down the sidewalk holding your trench coat tightly to your body. You made it to Johnny's Club and you pulled the heavy door open.

"Jeez," you sighed. You shook off your coat and walked to the coat room. You hung it up and took your phone out from its pocket. You turned and grabbed one of the aprons and put it on tying a knot behind your back. You slid your phone in one of the pockets and shoved your other two pockets with straws and a towel. You walked down the hallway and then behind the bar.

"Hey Matt," you said as you clocked in to your job.

"Hey y/n, what's up? Cold out?" he asked as he wiped the counter.

"Freezing, it's just going to get worse. How many people have come in?" you faced him.

"About 5 maybe?" he reorganized all the bottles on shelves, "Could have been 4," he shrugged.

"I don’t know why Johnny's making us work tonight, its Christmas Eve. Everyone is either travelling or with their families," you sighed and leaned against the counter.

"Yeah I don't really get it either," he stood next to you.

"At least you get to go home to Abby," you nudge him with your shoulder.

"Wouldn't really want you to be here alone though," he nudged you back.

"I'll be fine, I can hold my own. I'll grab my pepper spray before you go," you grab your towel from your pocket and lightly whip his knee with it.

"Okay," he laughs and goes into the back to do inventory.

Few hours later, Matt was gone and you were bored on your phone. The club was empty and the you played Christmas music through the speakers. You mumbled the lyrics to frosty the snowman and checked the time.

10 PM already. Great. Just 4 more hours. You checked your Twitter and saw people talking about 2016 being "the year" so you got off. Who can predict that stuff anyway. "Do they know its Christmas?" began playing and it was one of your favorites. You grabbed a bottle of bourbon and began using it as a mic.

"Its Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid," you sang. You spun around and lifted your hand up to the sky.

"At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish," when you spun you were shocked to see a male silhouette watching you, so you couldn’t help scream 'Shade'.

"Hi sorry I didn’t see you there," you said quickly.

"Sorry about that," he said as he came more into the light. He had long brown hair, sharp facial features, and bright green eyes.  

"It's okay," you turned around to lower the music slightly, "What could I get you to drink?" you turned back around to face him. You placed a napkin in front of him as he shrugged off his coat.

"Um Tequila, with ice," he said slowly. You nodded and got a small glass. You opened the freezer to scoop the ice and when you did you placed the cubes in his cup.

"Brand of choice?" you asked.

"No, surprise me," he smiled. You nodded and poured some 1800. "Thank you," he smiled again.

"No problem," you smiled back. You turned around and pretended to organize the shelf as you watched your customer through the mirror behind the display shelves. He was staring into his drink deep in thought. He had an accent, sounded British. Maybe feeling homesick on a night like this. He took a sip of his drink before pulling his hair up into a bun. You could see his face slightly better and he was handsome. Very handsome. You turned to face him and wiped your hands with your towel.

"Everything okay?" you asked.

"Yes thank you," he looked at you and then around the club, "What did you do to be the only one working tonight?" he grinned.

"Um, not sure honestly. Might've been telling my boss he should've given us a Christmas bonus." you shrugged. He laughed lightly and it was beautiful. Appearance wise and sound wise.

"The performance you were giving when I walked in should count as entertainment so I'd say you deserve the bonus," he smirked behind his glass.

"Thank you," you giggled and then blushed because the giggle was embarrassing.

"Join me for a drink will you?" he bit his lip.

"Um I shouldn't" you shook your head.

"Not even a club soda?" he stirred the liquid in his glass.

"Okay," you grabbed yourself a glass and poured some seltzer inside. You walked in front of the bar and settled on a stool next to him.

"So.. You're obviously not originally from New York, but is it your home?"

"Um no, I'm on break and I thought Christmas in New York could be fun to do alone after 5 years of not being alone. But it's actually very lonely," he takes a swig of his drink and you watched him as he spoke. The way his lips pursed with certain words and the way his face scrunched slightly at the burn of the tequila.

"Did you just get out of a relationship or something?" you ask. He turns his stool to face you with his eyebrows furrowed. It was as if the wheels in his head were turning behind his green eyes. You had no idea who he was or you were a great actress.

"Harry," he stuck his hand out for you to shake, "and no, no relationship. I spent five years working and now I am on uh sabbatical," he smiled charmingly. You shook his hand and nodded along to his words.

"I'm y/n," you smiled.

 It was nearing 11:30 PM and you were laughing so hard you were tearing up.

"Okay okay, what does a dentist do when he gets on a rollercoaster?" you asked him.

"What?" he giggled.

"He braces himself!" you burst into laughter and so does Harry.

"Wait wait, doesn't an orthodontist deal with braces?" you stopped suddenly and put on your best poker face. He cracked a smile and you couldn’t help it. You broke one too. Jingle Bell Rock came on and you couldn’t help but get up and go to the dance floor.

"Come on, come here!" you grabbed his hand and pulled him off his stool. "Do you know the mean girls dance?"

"Barely, it goes like this?" he put his hand up and swung his hips dramatically. You laughed and sang along to the song.

"Don't forget to slap your thighs," you show him and he copies your move. The song soon ends and you hear the familiar tune of 'Last Christmas'.

"I love this song, it's my favorite, you whispered.

"Would you like to dance?" he offered his hand. You looked at his long slender fingers that were covered by a few rings. You took his hand and he pulled you closer. He placed his hand on the small of your back.

Ah, aha

Ooh

Oh

"I like your rings," you say as you look over at your hand in his.

"Want one?"

"Do you just give your rings out to anyone like that?" you laughed lightly.

"No, but you’ve been very kind to me tonight. You can take it as a Christmas present," you nodded along and continued dancing to the music.

Once bitten and twice shy

I keep my distance

But you still catch my eye

Tell me, baby

Do you recognize me?

You could hear him singing the music quietly. You detach your hand from his and intertwine your own behind his neck.

"You have a nice voice," you tell him.

"Funny you say that," he smiles. His dimples were very cute.

"Funny how?" you ask.

"Nothing," he shook his head, "I didn’t think this was how I was going to spend my Christmas Eve but I'm glad I am," he said. You tried to hide your blush and you mumbled a 'me too'.

Face on a lover with a fire in his heart (I gave you my heart)

A man under cover but you tore him apart

Maybe next year, I'll give it to someone

I'll give it to someone special (special, someone)

The song ended and you looked up at him. His face was only inches away from yours and you could feel his breath fan your face. You both leaned in but jumped back when Usher's 'Yeah!' came on. You ran your fingers through your hair with one hand and placed your hand over your heart with your other.

"Sorry," you laughed awkwardly.

"Yeah, I'm not," you felt his hands grab the sides of your cheeks and his lips on yours. You kissed him back and placed your hands over his lightly. When he pulled away, you had a blissful smile on your lips.

"I'll take your 'peace' ring," you smile. He kissed you again and smiled into the kiss.

"Here you go," he slid the ring off his finger and put it in your palm.

"Thanks," you held it in between your forefinger and thumb. You slid it onto your thumb, the only finger it fit. His phone began ringing and he excused himself to answer. From what you could hear he was speaking to someone named Jeff and he was late to a party. You cleaned up the bar and put the glasses away. When he hung up the phone, he walked over to the bar with a guilty look on his face.

"So my boss wants me to go to his Christmas party," he frowned.

"Oh, okay. Have fun," you smiled. Fake smiled to be exact. You didn’t want him to go just yet.

"Can I get your number? Call you sometime maybe?" he asked and your heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah! I mean yeah sure," you shrugged. He walked behind the bar and lifted your chin with his finger.

"No need to try and play it cool," he kissed your forehead. You looked down and blushed. You grabbed a napkin and wrote your number on it as he put his coat on. You walked over when you finished writing on it and tucked into his coat's pocket.

"Thank you for my present, my number will be your present," you giggled.

"Sounds lovely," he kissed your lips before leaving. You sighed and wiped down the bar before closing up. Hopefully you could make up an hour another day, you needed to go home and close early.

After Harry left the bar and waited for a taxi, a man next to him sneezed into his hands.

"Damn allergies," he said.

"I know the feeling mate," Harry replied. The man sneezed again, this time in need of a tissue.

"Here mate," he handed him the napkin he felt in his pocket. Without a second thought. That was the kind of person Harry was.

"Thank you," he said before Harry caught a cab and got in. When he reached into his pocket to get your number the realization hit that he gave the napkin to the man. When he called the bar with the number he found on Google it said the bar was now closed.

//

"Fuck!" you yell at your rental car. You were currently at a gas station or as the English say, 'the petro station,' and you were trying to refill a tire. But it kept emptying. You were the only one at the gas station until a black Range Rover joined you. You decided to travel to England for the holidays since your family decided to vacation to China without you. You were getting cold and it was Christmas eve. You just wanted to get back to the small cottage you were staying in. You walked into the shop and headed for the snack aisle. The end of 'santa baby' played over the speakers in the store. You surfed the options on the shelves and grabbed a few chips (crisps) and searched for some sweets. Next song to play was 'last Christmas' and you accidentally groaned aloud. The song had been ruined for you ever since you met Harry 5 years ago and he never called. Typical musician which you came to find out. The guy behind you laughed lightly before speaking,

"Don't like this song?" he asked. You turned around with your snacks in hand.

"Bad memory goes a long with it," when the man turns around your shocked to see who it is and he's just as shocked to see you.

"YOU!" you practically yell.

"Let me I can explain," he holds his hands up in defense.

"I don’t want one!" you walk away.

"Wait! Please, I promise I'll tell you the truth." he says. Okay realistically you had no where to go before the tow truck came.

"Fine," you cross your arms.

"Well I can't believe our paths have crossed again," he smiles. You don’t. "Um well okay. So after I left that night, I accidentally gave this guy my napkin because he sneezed and I realized too late. I know it's a rubbish excuse but it’s the truth. Oh I also tried calling the bar that night and you already had closed and then when I called again the person on the phone said you were busy and I just didn't know if that was an excuse or not. I guess you've figured out who I am by now too.." he drifted off.

"I do and your excuse sounds very unrealistic," you sigh.

"It's the truth, pinky promise," he holds a pinky up. You squint your eyes at him before joining your pinky with his and huffing 'fine'.

"How come you're in England?"

"Vacationing," you stare at him slightly. "You cut your hair," you remembered it was long last time you saw each other. He ran his hand through his shorter curls and nodded.

"Yeah um cut it a few months after we met, would you want to grab a bite?" he pinched his lip between his fingers. He was still handsome as ever.

"Okay, my car actually has a flat tire.."

"We’ll use my car," he smiled at you.

When you got to his car it smelled like him. You felt slightly uncomfortable with this blast of the past coming back into your life. Especially so handsome. He began driving on a road you’ve never been on and you watched the houses pass through your window.

"So, you must know everything now," he sighed, "I enjoyed that you didn’t," he drove with one hand, his left entangled in his hair.

"That's a full of it assumption. I've heard your music and that you went out with Camille Rowe that’s all," you shrugged, "I can't believe you were in this famous pop band for 5 years and I had no clue," you laughed.

"So maybe not everything..good," you noticed he was hiding a smile. Or at least trying to. He kept driving for about a half hour before pulling into a driveway.

"Um you said we were going to grab a bite?"

"It's Christmas Eve everything is closed, I promise I'm not going to kill you," he smiled.

"Very convincing," you sighed. You stepped out of the car and followed him up the steps to his house.

"Fancy a grilled cheese?" he looked behind his shoulder and grinned.

"Sure," you took off your shoes and followed him to his kitchen. His house was huge but neat. It was modern and very bachelor like. Yet cozy and warm. You settled on one of his stools at his kitchen counter while he turned on the fireplace. When he made his way over to his stove and heated up a pan, he grabbed the bread bag and pulled 4 slices.

"So catch me up," he smiled.

"Um well. I've been working. Running an Etsy shop. Just made custom sweaters and such.. I quit the club a few months after we met. Found out I kissed Harry Styles. Otherwise I lead a very boring life.” You laugh.

“I did think of you these past 5 years, don’t think I didn’t. I wondered what you were doing and if you were okay. If you had found out who I was. If you’d come to one of my shows,” he said as he cooked.  

"I didn’t think you thought that way of me," you say honestly.

"I did, still do. I've had a 5 year long crush," he blushes. You shake your head and call bs on his claim.

"It’s the truth. But I'm glad to know you don’t feel the same," he sighed before serving you your sandwich. You got up and walked around his counter and watched as he moved to grab you a cup.

"Who said I didn't still have a crush? I still have your ring in my jewelry box crying out loud," you laughed and rubbed your head embarrassed.

"You do?" he smiled brightly. You nodded and walked towards him. You pulled him by the end of his shirt and grabbed his cheeks to pull him down for a kiss. His arms wrapped around your waist lifting you off your feet. You wrapped your legs around his waist before he placed you on the counter. You kissed him for a bit more before pulling away.

"I am hungry though," he laughed and his breath hit your face in a familiar way that made you smile.

"Okay," he kissed your cheek before handing you your plate and smiled as he saw your eyes widen once you took a bite.

LETS TALK ABOUT IT :) 

[imaginedhaven]

Reluctantly Rooming: Part One

Link to Masterpost

This was supposed to be a drabble, but there will be at least two more parts because the two other drabble prompts I’ve received so far all fit perfectly into the same theme as this one!

The prompt:

“I really would’ve liked it if you told me your parents were coming to town.” / “I really would’ve liked it if you put underwear on before coming into the kitchen.” 

I did tweak the precise wording as even in an AU I couldn’t picture a world where Rowan or Aelin’s parents were still alive into their adulthood, but I hope this meets the spirit of what my anonymous prompter was looking for!

If y’all have any more prompts or suggestions you would like to throw my way for things you would like to see as this relationship develops, my ask box is always open! But without further ado...

~*~*~

Aelin stretched her arms over her head with a yawn as she finally gave up on sleeping in. Her shift at the bar had run long, even more so than usual, and yet it seemed she still couldn’t sleep past ten in the morning no matter what she did. Perhaps it was time to invest in blackout curtains, after all.

Thankfully, even managing to sleep this late meant that she wouldn’t have to deal with her roommate as she started her day, so she slipped out of her bedroom and into the bathroom wearing nothing but an oversized shirt a former boyfriend had left behind when he left her. The guy had been an ass, but the shirt was the most comfortable thing she had ever slept in, and so she had long since decided it would be fine to keep.

As she glanced at the wreck that was her hair in the mirror and decided to leave it until she was more awake, she gave quiet thanks once more that Rowan would be off to his corporate job at wherever-it-was and not around to critique her messy hair and her messy life. They had been living together for about three months now, ever since her cousin Aedion had left his house behind for another deployment and Rowan had suddenly relocated from Doranelle. In theory it was meant to be a temporary arrangement, Aedion doing a favor for a friend since he wasn’t around to live in his own room, but if Rowan had actually made plans to move out yet he hadn’t informed Aelin.

Not that Aelin was doing much better in that regard. She had spent a year and a half now living in her cousin’s spare bedroom and working dead-end jobs. She felt she had a better excuse, though, since she was actually related to Aedion and was still trying to get her bearings after everything that had caused her to leave Rifthold.

Shaking her head in an attempt to dislodge that line of thinking, Aelin instead bent over the sink and hastily washed her face clean of the remnants of makeup that had lingered from the night before. She had crept back into the house sometime after three in the morning, and it had been late enough that her usual shower had been absolutely out of the question, so instead she had made do with sleepily swiping a washcloth over her face before dragging herself to bed. If her reflection was any indication, the effort had failed miserably.

Once she deemed her face to be clean enough for now, Aelin padded down the stairs with another yawn, intent on making coffee. After the late night she had had, she would absolutely need it if she had any hope of getting through her day.

Keeping her eyes on the floor in front of her to make sure she wouldn’t accidentally trip on something in her exhausted shuffle to the kitchen, she passed through the living room and successfully resisted the temptation to curl up on the couch for another nap. Instead, she finally reached the coffee machine that was sitting on the counter and began looking for wherever the hell Rowan had stored the coffee beans in his latest reorganization of the kitchen. Grumbling about men who were entirely too interested in organizing cabinets, she flung doors open at random until she saw the container resting on the very top shelf.

Damn Rowan and his freakishly tall self, he had hidden the coffee away where she could barely reach it. She was too exhausted still to find wherever he had tucked her stepstool away, though, so instead she sighed and reached for it. She let out a quiet noise of triumph as her fingertips brushed the container, edging it closer and closer to tipping off the shelf until she could grasp it more fully. Beans obtained, she set the container on the counter beside the coffee maker and froze when she heard a throat clearing behind her.

Fuck. In her exhausted daze, she had forgotten that it was Saturday and that Rowan wouldn’t be at his corporate job. Aelin took a deep breath to help steady her nerves and turned to meet his furious pine-green eyes.

She had not been expecting to also see a pair of dark eyes glimmering with amusement, but when she did it took everything she had not to immediately flee the kitchen.

The dark eyes belonged to a woman with equally dark hair and pale skin, lips painted red and curled in a smirk that immediately set Aelin on edge. “Why, Rowan,” she purred, sultry voice curling around the same accent that Rowan spoke with, “I wasn’t aware you had… company.”

“I don’t,” Rowan replied, voice clipped with barely-restrained irritation. “Aunt Maeve, this is my roommate. Aelin.”

“Um. Hi,” she managed as she felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment. They barely spoke, but she had overheard Rowan talking about his aunt before. The woman had raised him, as his own parents had died when he was young just as Aelin’s had. It appeared they were still close enough for her to come all the way from Doranelle to Orynth just to visit.

And Aelin had just met her wearing nothing but an oversized shirt, with her hair tangled in a wild halo around her face. There was no way for her to salvage this first impression, not now.

Suddenly her humiliation flared into anger. Why should she make a good first impression? This wasn’t any relation of hers, and Rowan hadn’t even bothered to tell her he’d have a guest over. It went completely against the house rules he’d been so insistent on having, and she couldn’t possibly be held responsible for what had just happened.

Her anger only sparked further as Maeve laughed, the humor in her voice not reaching those dark eyes. “It’s a pleasure, I’m sure,” the woman replied.

Before either of them could say anything else, Rowan stood. “Aelin. A word?”

She nodded quietly and one of his hands closed around her upper arm as he pulled her into the living room. Once they got there, he turned to face her, eyebrows drawn together in anger and one hand carding through his platinum hair. “You couldn’t get dressed before leaving your room just one morning?” he hissed.

“I thought you wouldn’t be here,” she replied hotly, struggling to keep her voice to a whisper as well. “Besides, if you were going to be like this about it I really would’ve liked it if you told me the woman who raised you was coming to town!”

“Yeah, well, I really would’ve liked it if you put underwear on before coming into the kitchen, and yet here. We. Are.” As he bit out the last words he grabbed her arm again, tugging her closer as he towered over her.

Aelin froze again, just as she had when he had alerted her to their presence. “How did you—?”

“You’re wearing a shirt and nothing else, Aelin. Did you really think it would cover everything when you were stretching your arms over your head?”

Fuck. So not only had she made an absolute fool of herself, she had exposed herself to a woman she hadn’t even met and to Rowan as well. And to think she had thought her morning couldn’t get any worse.

Finally, Rowan sighed. “Look, just… go upstairs and put some clothes on. Real clothes. I’ll start the coffee for you and deal with my aunt. Deal?”

Aelin nodded and darted up the stairs, not stopping to try to hear how Rowan was going to try to explain this to the woman in their kitchen.

By the time she had dressed and tamed her golden waves, Maeve had left and Rowan was sitting on the living room couch, two mugs of coffee steaming on the table in front of him. She swiped the one that was clearly meant for her, choosing for once to ignore the fact that he had to have touched her favorite mug in order to prepare it for her and instead inhaling the scent of the coffee. It had already been sweetened judging by the smell, and she blinked at her roommate over the rim of her mug.

“What?” he asked.

“You put sugar in this,” she accused.

Rowan snorted in reply. “Of course I did. I learned in three days you take your coffee as sweet as you can make it.”

It was completely true, of course, but Aelin wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of saying as much out loud. Instead she took a small sip of her coffee, moaning softly at the taste. It was perfect, of course, and it was infuriating how he had picked up on such a small detail of her morning routine when they barely interacted.

After a moment of silence, Rowan continued. “My aunt won’t be coming back,” he revealed. “I may have yelled at her for showing up unannounced and uninvited before you woke up, and you showing up as you did only solidified my argument for why that was a terrible idea.”

Aelin laughed. “So I actually did you a favor?”

“Don’t press your luck,” he retorted, but she took satisfaction in the almost-concealed smile that she barely saw cross his face. “I’m still annoyed with you.”

“Oh, come on,” she grinned. “You learned how I like my coffee, I saved you from overbearing parental figures. Maybe we can even figure out how to be friends.”

“What did I just say about pressing your luck?”

“Please, I press my luck every single day. I make a point of it, in fact. It usually works out.”

Aelin drained her coffee mug and set it back on the table before glancing over at Rowan. As she watched, he slowly shook his head. “You are absolutely unbelievable. You know that, right?”

Aelin laughed. “Of course I do. It’s all part of my charm.”

“I’m sure it is,” Rowan replied, obviously skeptical.

“What? It is! Two days ago you wouldn’t even talk to me, and look at us having coffee together like roommates who actually like each other.”

Rowan glanced at his own mug of coffee and smiled. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I’m always right,” she grinned. “Who knows, maybe we can actually learn to like each other. We’ll find the way together.”

Rowan sighed. “As long as it doesn’t involve you escalating from flashing my aunt to stripping for my coworkers.”

“Now there’s a thought,” Aelin mused.

As Rowan’s eyes widened in fear, Aelin doubled over laughing. “Gods help me, you actually thought I would do it!”

Rowan slowly shook his head. “At this point? I wouldn’t put anything past you.”

~*~*~

Tagging:

@ireallyshouldsleeprn @queen-of-glass @fangirlprincess09 @sassys-world @morganofthewildfire

[demonic-intervention]

Whumptober 2021 - Day 21

(no fic yesterday, thus you get two today

No. 21 - THAT’S WHERE THE BLOOD’S SUPPOSED TO BE

bleeding through the bandages | pressure | blood-matted hair

Word of Honor post-EP36, post-canon, Wenzhou, 1.8K, see tags for more info - AO3 link

Masterpost

------------------------------

"Ah-Xu, I'm going for a walk!" Zhou Zishu stuck his head out from behind a shelf. "Okay, just give me a moment to finish this up," already vanishing behind the shelf again. "No need, Ah-Xu. I won't be long. I just need to stretch my legs a little," Wen Kexing declined the offer. Zhou Zishu's head poked out again. "Are you sure? I mean, you're still a little unsteady on your legs. Let me finish this real quick and then-..," thoughts moving back and forth, he was already halfway back into his work. Wen Kexing smiled softly. This was so much like him. "Ah-Xu," he spoke gentle but firm. Zhou Zishu jolted up, questioningly looking up at Wen Kexing "Mhm?" He was greeted with a loving smile. "Ah-Xu. Stop fuzzing. You finish your work and when you're done, I'll be home." Resolve slowly melting away, Zhou Zishu mirrored the fond gaze and stepped closer. "Alright," he grabbed the hems of the robes and pulled them higher up around Wen Kexing's neck. "Enjoy your walk, Lao Wen." Wen Kexing kissed Zhou Zishu, short but intimate. "I'll be back soon, Ah-Xu."

---

That had been hours ago. At first, Zhou Zishu hadn't really worried. It was just a walk. Wen Kexing could handle that much. But when Zhou Zishu had finished reorganizing the shelf without Wen Kexing coming home, he began to worry. He reassured himself that he was just distressing himself unnecessarily. Since waking up with an unresponsive Wen Kexing in his arms, Zhou Zishu had really been more anxious than what was healthy. He was more nervous than before, even panicky at times. Sometimes he woke up at night breathing heavily and patting his hand around on the bed until he found the warm body next to him to hold onto. During these nights, he needed to make sure that Wen Kexing was still around.

Zhou Zishu decided to distract himself with more work. Wen Kexing could handle a little walk. He was fit enough for that. Zhou Zishu had made sure of that. And he wouldn't have let him go in the first place if he didn't think Wen Kexing was okay, right? Right? Before he realized it, Zhou Zishu was anxiously pacing up and down. His mood swung between wanting to go out and find Wen Kexing and breathing deeply to convince himself that Wen Kexing was fine. In the end, it was the setting sun that drove him to action. Whether or not Wen Kexing was fine, even he would have troubles finding his way back in the dark. Thankfully, there was still at least an hour left of daylight. Throwing one of the thicker robes around his shoulders, he headed outside.

Standing in front of the big door, he immediately noticed the snow obscuring his sight and the frosty wind creeping into his robes. Instinctively, Zhou Zishu pulled the thicker robe higher up his neck and began to walk. Holding out an arm to guard his face against the biting wind, he kept his eyes pinned to his feet. He had to move fast before the storm would blow away all of Wen Kexing's foot prints.

Thankfully, there was still enough daylight left to see where he was going. Zhou Zishu followed the foot prints around the mountain along what was probably a little trail below the snow. Then suddenly, the foot prints stopped. Zhou Zishu looked around but there wasn't much he could see in the snow storm. The foot prints didn't continue in any direction but a mark was there distorting the last foot prints. It looked like someone had slipped. Having no better leads, Zhou Zishu followed the track. Unexpectingly, it quickly turned into a slope. Zhou Zishu rushed down, waving with his arms to keep his balance, but to no avail. He fell face first into the snow.

Making a mental inventory of his limbs, Zhou Zishu groaned into the snow. Wearily, he sat up shaking the snow out of his robes when his eyes fell on the first thing around that was not white as the snow. On his knees, Zhou Zishu crawled closer until he could see it properly. It was a stone peaking out of the blanket of snow. Zhou Zishu reached out to touch it. In a surprised gasp, he quickly withdrew his hand as it came back sticky. It was at this point that he noticed the red spots in the snow veering away from the stone. Having an incredible bad gut feeling, Zhou Zishu stumbled onto his feet and followed the trail of blood.

He waded through the snow until something else came into view through the stormy weather. Zhou Zishu hurried closer. What had simply looked like a darker patch from the distance turned into the figure of a man. Recognizing the blue and wine red robes, he rushed over. "Lao Wen!" As he fell to his knees next to Wen Kexing, Zhou Zishu anxiously reached out a hand to touch the man's face. "Lao Wen," he murmured close to him. Still, Wen Kexing didn't stir. Zhou Zishu noticed the deep red tinting Wen Kexing's bright hair. His white hair blended seamlessly into the snow, the blood in stark contrast. Zhou Zishu would have marveled at the beauty of it, if the scene wasn't so reminiscent of how he had first seen him after performing the Combined Six Cultivation method.

A heavy weight settled in his chest. He closed his eyes against the flashing memories. Taking a few deep breaths, he forced himself to calm down. He had to focus. Despite his anxiety, he had to check. He had to make sure. With a trembling hand, Zhou Zishu reached out to hold a finger under Wen Kexing's nose. He held his breath, heart thudding in his chest. Time seemed to stand still. Zhou Zishu was on the verge of tears when finally, he felt a faint puff of warm air on his skin. The tension left his body and he slumped over with a broken sob. "Oh thank the Gods."

Zhou Zishu checked Wen Kexing's pulse before he pulled the thick robe off his own back. Wen Kexing's qi seemed to be fine for the moment, so Zhou Zishu leaned down to pick him up. Bundled up into Zhou Zishu's robe, Wen Kexing looked much more lively despite being cold to the touch. Pressed into Zhou Zishu's chest, his face also gained some color again although his lips were still worryingly pale. Zhou Zishu gripped him tighter. He had to hurry. The sun had already vanished behind the mountain.

---

Back inside, Zhou Zishu laid Wen Kexing down on their bed. A little later and it would have been fatal. The storms outside was only getting worse. He could hear it raging outside. Gently, Zhou Zishu pulled the cold and wet robes off Wen Kexing. Gathering all blankets and furs they had, he all but buried Wen Kexing under the layers. Only his head was still sticking out. Thankfully, they had found a brazier not long ago. Usually, they wouldn't need it but this time Zhou Zishu wasn't taking any chances. He didn't know how long Wen Kexing had lain outside in the snow before he had found him. The mere thought of it made him shudder.

Wen Kexing was still unresponsive. However, wrapped in all those blankets, he began to shiver. Zhou Zishu took that as a good sign. Unwilling to leave Wen Kexing for too long, he hurried to melt some snow. He prepared some water to drink and heated the rest of it to wash the blood out of Wen Kexing's hair. Coming back, he set down everything on the bedside table and lighted a few candles. Taking his place next to Wen Kexing, he paused for a moment to brush the stray hairs out of his face, fingers lingering. His thumb gently brushed over Wen Kexing's eyebrow.

Zhou Zishu sighed. Wen Kexing still looked so frail, less cold but still... Zhou Zishu shook his head, dispelling the thoughts that were haunting him. Thoughts of worry, anxiety, and what ifs. He pulled Wen Kexing's hand out from underneath the blankets. It was warm again. Holding it, Zhou Zishu raised it to his mouth to kiss every knuckle. Uncertainty still high, he checked Wen Kexing's pulse again. Steady and strong. His qi was equally good. It would be okay, Zhou Zishu thought to himself. Wen Kexing only had to wake up.

What he was about to do next was something Zhou Zishu dreaded. He didn't want to see that blooming red on Wen Kexing's shining hair again. It was an image that had already been burned into his memory for the rest of eternity. Nonetheless, he had to check Wen Kexing's head wound. Carefully, Zhou Zishu supported Wen Kexing's head, removed the pillow, and slipped into the bed behind him. Still supporting his head, Zhou Zishu reached out to the bedside table. After making sure that the water wasn't too hot, he placed the bowl in his lap and gently lowered Wen Kexing's head so that the hair could soak in the water. With his free hand, he worked the worst of the dried blood out of the hair.

After a while, he realized that he wouldn't get any further with just his hand and picked up a comb from the bedside table. Meticulously, Zhou Zishu worked his way upwards to the scalp beginning at the ends. Over and over, he brushed through the same strands until every bit of blood was dissolved and every knot was combed out. Meanwhile, his supporting hand massaged the tender scalp. Hair no longer sticking together, he could take a look at the wound. It looked nasty. But Zhou Zishu figured that it would heal on its own as long as it was kept clean.

Although Zhou Zishu was excersising utmost caution, the prodding drew a slight wince from Wen Kexing. Zhou Zishu dried his hand on his robes and palmed Wen Kexing's face. His thumb was faintly brushing over Wen Kexing's cheek. "Lao Wen," Zhou Zishu whispered leaning over the head in his lap. It took Wen Kexing obvious effort but finally confused eyes were blinking up at him. "Ah-Xu?" Wen Kexing wondered and immediately winced at the sound of his own voice. Zhou Zishu just kept caressing his cheek, humming in acknowledgement. "Ah-Xu, you were right. I am still unsteady on my legs. Like a new-born deer," Wen Kexing said with self-pity in his voice, face scrunched up in displeasure. Visibly in pain, he just shut his eyes against the outside world. "Mhm," Zhou Zishu responded. Without saying anything else, he continued to brush Wen Kexing's hair.

"Ah-Xu, my head hurts," Wen Kexing moaned. Smiling, Zhou Zishu leaned down and placed a soft kiss onto Wen Kexing's forehead. "Rest, Lao Wen." This time, it was Wen Kexing's turn to hum. And to his surprise, Zhou Zishu's gentle touches were easing the throbbing in his head. Wen Kexing slipped into a peaceful sleep. Lao Wen was okay and safe in his arms, Zhou Zishu thought. He breathed a sigh of relief. His Lao Wen was where he belonged. That was all that mattered.

[haravath0t]

A Christmas Heist Pt. V - Confrontations

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: inaccurate depictions of technology, depictions of violence, flirty Bucket, an actually big word count 

Hi guys! This is it! The final addition of “A Christmas Heist”! I am so so glad to have been able to write this out! Of course, this part will be a bit longer than the previous parts, as this is the final part after all. I must thank @world-of-aus​ immensely for going above and beyond for these action scenes! Without her, this part wouldn’t be what it is! Thank you once again to @hailhydra920​ for putting this wonderful request in for the holidays! It was a nice request to kind of dip my feet into the water, as this is my first mini-series! There will be an epilogue to be an official end to this mini series! That shall be posted Monday night! As always, feedback and commentary are deeply appreciated! What did you like? What did you not like? What do you guys wanna see? I’d love to know! Thank you and enjoy reading!

A Christmas Heist Masterlist 

Main Masterlist

“So you wanted to take a look at the MacBooks that we offer right, Miss?” Steve asks with feigned enthusiasm, keeping up the facade until you two were for sure alone on the table, far away enough from anyone to hear. Steve takes a look around one more time before he whispers, “Okay, so… this should be the section I think. I tried looking for it on the other two tables to your left, but they weren’t there. The serial numbers were getting a bit close, but not quite.” Bucky lightly clears his throat and looks around, adjusting his cap. “Well, it’s the last table with the MacBooks, we can take a look here for sure.” You take another cautious look around, resisting the urge to take the different colored wig that you have on off. “Well, why don’t you two pretend that you’re looking at MacBooks? I have a feeling that it could be here.” You whisper softly. Steve looks at you and nods. “Well, be careful Y/N. I double checked these employee drawers too. No luck anywhere. Shelves may have to be it.” You nod in understanding and waste no time into searching for this darned hard drive.

“Well these MacBooks are said to be our highest selling so if you’d like to take a close look at each one,” Steve offers, voice raised slightly as another employee walks by the three of you.

“That’ll be perfect, thank you,” Bucky gruffs, “should we need any further help I’ll send my husband to find you,” you add. Steve nods and keeps up his raised voice, “No worries, ma’am. Take all the time you need. And umm… and yeah, just take your time,” Steve says softly, turning red as he stutters the last part. You shook your head in embarrassment as you turned away from the blond super soldier who was scratching his head. You look cautiously through the display, pretending to look through the specifics of the MacBook on display before looking at the settings to examine the serial numbers. The search kept going, you were on the brink of bursting due to your frustration, until. “Got it,” you whisper, trying your hardest not to show a huge smile as you notice the serial number perfectly aligns with the serial number that you had written down on your little piece of paper. “You got it?” Bucky says with a hint of excitement as he goes to you, Steve following suit. “Yeah! It should be the one!” You say excitedly. “The hard drive from what I remember should be in these shelves behind us,” you whisper, motioning at the products behind you.

“I’ll cover for you,” Steve offers, with Bucky nodding in approval. “Yeah so will I. I think you know this techy thing more than I do.” You playfully roll your eyes, starting the search from the box of airpods that were stacked along the shelf. “It’s just a different type of package that we’re after, Buck. Nothing much really.” Bucky only scoffs as he keeps pretending to look at MacBooks with Steve, looking around cautiously. However, his eyes widened. “No… oh hell no…” He grunts under his breath. “What is it, Buck?” Steve whispers, looking around even more cautiously. But then his answer was arriving at full speed. 

It was Rumlow, striding his way into the store, eyes looking around the store, but for what? You three would not even know. “Shit.. shit shit shit…” Bucky mutters in frustration. “Y/N, sweetheart, if you have found that damn packaging, you might as well tell us now.” He whispers in a harsh tone into the comm. “Seriously, Buck? Don’t rush me, I’m about more than halfway into the stock!” The two men hear you say into their earpiece. “I think we have every right to rush you right now, doll. We’ve got company. Your 6 o’ clock.” You hear Steve say in a pressing tone, causing you to turn around right behind you to see Rumlow approaching what must be a fellow Hydra agent. Your eyes widen, rushing your process on that shelf. “Oh come on… come on..” you tell yourself, heart beating fast as you try your hardest to find that packaging. But then you soon see it, a white box of the same size, but no, it did not show the image of a pair of AirPods, it was just blank. No little text, nothing. 

“Y/N… Y/N, come on let’s go.” 

“Y/N! Stop. Put it all back.” 

You couldn’t. You couldn’t stop now, you’re so close.

You were about to reach for it, but quickly jumped when you felt a tap on your shoulder. 

Shit.

You sighed in relief when you see Bucky, quickly tensing up when you see his stern face. “Did you not hear me and Steve? We gotta put this back.” he orders, stealing some of the boxes to place quickly back on the shelf. 

“But Buck I almost got i-”

“Yes you did. But this isn’t the time and place to obtain that right now. They can’t know that we know!” He hisses, holding your hand after putting away the last of the box, leading you to Steve. “We’re lucky if they do not plan on moving this out of this section, do you u-” Bucky continues, but you hush him. “Steve, come on, escort us out.” “Don’t you dare interrupt me, sweetheart this shit’s dangerou-” 

“Shh! Rumlow is near…” you whisper quietly, rubbing your nose. Steve wastes no time when he fakes to reorganize the MacBooks in their rightful place. “Right, I’m so sorry we could not fit your needs, ma’am. I do hope you do reconsider.” Steve says and you both nod. “It’s alright. Give us time to mull it over today, Andy. I think I can get my husband to change his mind. Thank you.” You get more weary when you see Brock looking at the three of you with a suspicious eye. You were glad when you saw that the other two noticed. “Thank you for coming to the Apple Store. I hope you enjoy your day,” Steve says as he walks you both out, making it clear to the employees. “Alright, I found that there’s an alternate route to get out. If you want to go to the parking lot, try to go through Bloomingdales, walk around the building, cross the other plaza, and then the lot is on the right.” Steve whispers hurriedly and you two nod, trying your best to go out as smoothly yet swiftly as possible. 

“Steve, I need you to keep watch of that package. We gotta see where they move it. Please.” You whisper into your comms shakily, clinging onto Bucky’s gloved hand as you quickly walk into Bloomingdales. “I think you need to keep watch of something worse. Or someone.” You hear him say, causing you and Bucky to look at each other in realization. “Fuck,” You groan as the two of you quicken your pace. “Yeah… I know… Rumlow heard from a fellow agent you two were going near the package. If you haven’t gone through Bloomingdales. Now is the time.” You hear Steve say imperatively. The pace has quickened, the strides were longer, and your grip on your boyfriend’s hand is long gone as you two made your way down the escalator to the first floor quickly and out the door. 

Once you two were out, the walking quickly turned into running. Bucky hears the door hurriedly open as well as fast footsteps. “Shit, sweetheart. Come on let’s go through that outdoor mall. It might be a shortcut,” He grunts, you two quickening the pace as a whole group of pedestrians start walking across the street, you two blending in quickly in the middle of the group. You turn around to see Brock a bit far behind you. But this was not the end.

You had to keep up the strides once again, trying to avoid bringing the security into the mix, so you stayed with the crowd of people. Luckily it came to the point where everyone was squished against each other’s bodys, you weaved through the crowds alongside Bucky, getting yourselves closer and closer to the parking lot. “Drop your jacket.” Bucky orders, you look at him in shock. “What?! Why?! What for?” “Misdirection, sweetheart,” He says grabbing your hand once you take it off, leading you towards an empty alley, making you have a run for it. “You’re so crazy! I love this jacket!” You hiss, your heels clicking against the concrete as you ran alongside bucky. “Oh shush, I’ll buy you another one. Drop it… now.” He says, resulting in you throwing down the jacket as you sharply turned to your right when you got to the sidewalk of the busy road beside you. Sure enough, you hear Brock’s hurried footsteps echoing far behind you. 

You two quicken your pace, hopping into Bucky’s motorcycle, you in front of him, his arms wrapped around your torso. The engine roared before you two quickly zoomed out of the farthest exit possible, quickly weaving your way onto the busy road and hiding the two of you behind cars. “You know, I should be driving that so you don’t gotta worry.” You hear Bucky remark. You smile. “Sometimes, your girl needs a turn. Payback for making me let go of that jacket.” You couldn’t help but snicker at how lost Rumlow looked around running in frustration with the jacket of yours clenched in his hand on the sidewalk. He may have been smart and burly, but boy, was he clueless out in the open. You knew Bucky saw it two as the lights turned green, starting on your journey home. 

“He must be so lost.” You remarked, giggling as you concentrate on the road. You smiled when you felt Bucky’s chuckle rumble onto your body, playfully groaning when Bucky playfully kisses and nips at your neck. “I bet… you ran fast on those heels of yours two… proud of you…” You playfully huff, shaking your head. “Well I’m supposed to be mad at you. You know that jacket is Christian Dior?” Bucky only chuckles into your neck. “Like I said, I’ll get you another one.” A smile cracked on your face, shaking your head. “How are we like this after what just happened?” “It’s our job, sweetheart. Sure it’s a bit panicky when we are on the field, but hey… there’s nothin’ you and I can’t do.” He says into your ear. “Yeah… you’re right…” you chuckle, turning a right to go inside the parking lot of the apartment complex. “Let’s just hope he has doubts that it’s you. He must know it’s me for sure.” You snort. “Nah… Wore a cheaper perfume today in case of run-ins like these.” 

“Jesus, you’re a genius, sweetheart.”

“Can you two remember that I am still on the comm with you guys? At least turn it off.”

You called the manager to say that you were going to be late today. Bucky promised that he’d stay alongside the pouty Santa Claus to make sure no one apprehends you or Steve. You sigh shakily as you watch Steve unlock the door. “Deep breaths, doll. I know you hate the idea of being in public doing this, but we are here a good hour before opening time. So you can do this with no problem. You’re disguised. So let’s hope. We ran through this plan three times last night. Trust your instincts.” Steve reassures you as he opens the door for you. You nod, thanking him as you quickly went to get the small box. Fury knows. They’re waiting for you guys to finish this.

“So it was in there, huh?” Steve asks, as he sees you hurriedly make your way to a laptop that he just turned on. He’s already getting flustered at how the default home screen turned into another black screen filled with numbers and letters. You only nod, concentrating on the task at hand. “What are you doing?” Steve asks softly, as he looks around, trying to find a way to pass the time. “Altering the firmware to install a backdoor.” You simply respond as you type furiously at the keyboard. 

Steve only nods, shaking his head and scratching the back of his head. “Shouldn’t have asked… no idea what that mean-”

“Done. Okay next.” 

His eyebrows raise. “A-Already?!” 

“I hope you have your shield in handy just in case.” You mutter as you keep on going. “I do… Yeah, Buck has it in the case Brock goes after ‘im.” He responds, visibly confused at your work. “What are you gonna do, Y/N?” He keeps questioning, preferring to know what you are doing than sitting in silence. “We’re gonna load surveillance and let headquarters control their softwares at boot up. They can have cont-” 

All thoughts were halted when the glass doors burst open, showing a couple of men and women storming through. “Shit,” you mutter, “I got it,” Steve grunts as he moves forward, “you keep working I’ll keep them off you as long as possible.

Steve wasted no time as he rushed forward taking on the first man that ran at him.

Your eyes fly back and forth between the men rushing at Steve and the screen.

“You good?!” you call as he’s kicked to the floor only to jump right back up. He licks the blood from his lips glaring at the men in front of him body guarded as he keeps them from getting to you.

“Keep going Y/N,” his eyes meet yours, “I could do this all day.”

You want to make a remark but the middle goon runs at him, and Steve’s legs sweep up and out sending the man arms up and spread out right into the other two. Your eyes dash back to the computer screen, “Give me two minutes!”

“Don’t worry about me,” he grunts, “get it done!” Your fingers continue to clack against the keyboard, muttered curses falling from your breath as you will the damned machine to hurry, Steve could only go so long against three men with the other two standing guard by the door.

The machine beeps, “I got it Steve!”

“Gr-” he takes a fist to the face, the force enough to send him back towards you. A gasp leaves your lips as you fall away from the device.

Your hands are reaching for your friend, but one of the men gets brave as he rushes you, his hands fisting into the back of your shirt. He sends you flying back, your body skidding away from Steve and into the two by the door way. You have but a second to react, the two standing guard by the door now moving at you. Deft fingers reach for your hidden holster, your fingers hooking around the taser disk as you quick flick it to the goon that had sent you flying back.

They may be quick but you’re quicker.

He goes down in a shock before he can reach the computer, “Steven the hard drive - AH!” you get out, “You’re not going anywhere, rat,” the girl by the door hisses as she pulls you back. “Looks like we have more than one rat,” the other calls out as he kicks the hat from Steve’s head, the kick sending him back into the displays. The goon turns his head to the others, “Take her out,” he mutters, “Let’s worry about this traitor here.” You’re scrambling on your feet trying to find some leverage against the pain radiating from your scalp as you are thrown from the store.

You’re not up quick enough as they lock the door, the grey walled barricade coming down, a sinister smirk kissing the lip of the hydra goons.

“Steve!”

“Steve’s not the one you should be worrying about, Mrs. Claus, or should I say Agent L/N.”

Chills creep up your spine, and you’re turning slowly on your heel, eyes hard as you glare at the man before you.

“Rumlow,” you grunt, he wipes at blood splitting his lip. “Gotta say agent you all almost had us, but that sly trick of yours,” he steps forward, “You know... the one where you took my keys, that agent that’s where you really fucked up, did you really think I wouldn’t notice,” he tsks, “figured you all might be smarter but then again, think I prefer it like this, you’ll be easier to take down.”

Rumlow advances on you then, his body slamming into yours as he takes you down around the waist. You scrabble to get leverage, the base of your palm meeting his nose.

“Bitch,” he grunts as he falls off to the side, your body moving to stand. Your eyes fall to the store where the commotion is even louder.

“I wouldn’t worry about your friend there,” Rumlow spits a grin appearing on his face, “he’s not going to last very long.”

You’re the one charging now as you creep closer, your body dropping slightly as you let your leg sweep out and send Rumlow right back onto his back.

“You won’t last long out here either.”

“We’ll see about that,” he growls his fingers pressing to his ear as he mumbles something foreign to your ears. Your head snaps to the side where the grey gate is slowly lifting, the goon that had thrown you from earlier waiting for the gate to fully lift.

Shit.

You watch as Rumlow pushes to stand on his feet, his stance unfaltering as he waits; it’s not long before the door to the store is being pushed open, the goon falling out, grunts and crashes coming from within the store.

“You see agent, you all thought you were slick, but really we knew all this time, just like Fury sent in his rats, we’ve sent in ours.”

Your eyes widen at the news, “Oh don’t look so shocked, it was never going to end well for the lot of you, though I wish it would have, you’re not such a bad kisser,” he smirks, “we could have been something you and I, but I guess maybe in a different world,” he hums. It’s a split second before they’re both charging at you, one leg swings out as your foot meets the agent’s chest knocking him back only slightly as your hands grip at Rumlow.

You climb the burly man, your fingers reaching for the garrote hidden in your boot.

You hook the wire around Rumlow’s neck, tightening it around your fingers as you pull roughly. Rumlow chokes as he tries to knock you off, you don’t see that the goon has gotten his bearing and is now charging at you,  but it’s not like he would have made it a step closer.

“Y/N!” you hear Bucky scream, “Duck!”

Your eyes flash up, seeing Bucky running at you shield in hand, the jingle of the bell from his hat and shoes being heard. He stops mid stride to throw the vibranium shield towards you. Your fingers tighten on the metal string in your grip, your body tilting back as you and Rumlow fall to the side, the shield whizzing past you.

It takes the goon in its path down, knocking three more in its way out.

“About damn time Buck,” you hear Steve shout out, the ping of the metal meeting face reaching your ears.

You couldn’t help the hopeful smile that appears on your face as you see the blond super soldier run to the door and catch it successfully, using it to knock out the other agents coming at him. You try to get up, making the wire retract on its own, the main objective to get back into the store. You yelp when you feel a strong hand grab onto your ankle, making you thud face first against the tiles of the mall. By instinct, you kick your heel against the face, hearing Rumlow groan as you get up. You hear a crack and you look behind in shock, seeing the burly elf pinning Rumlow in the ground, landing a hard punch at him, the blood from his face matching the redness of the Santa costume. “Go! Go get that thing and let’s get out!” You hear Bucky exclaim to you, you only nod and push through the glass doors, hopping over the unconscious bodies to get to the laptop, taking the hard drive out of the port for good measure. Sighing in relief, you tuck it in a secure place and quickly run to Steve as he gets his shield. 

“Come on, let’s go,” Steve says as you nod, paging headquarters to quickly get the agents that had participated into custody. You two run out and see Bucky throw one final punch before Brock is unconscious, bloody face and nose evident. “BUCKY STOP! COME ON!” You exclaim as you and Steve make a run for it. It is only a few seconds until Bucky catches up with you, quickly running to the car. You three quickly left, more than ready to go straight to the med bay.

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[gwydionmisha]

Personal: The Gothmas* Season Begins.

Saturday we went on a perishable run followed by the usual putting things away and dishes.  It being properly the rainy season now, it was time to take out the living room portable air system and replace it with phase 1 Gothmas stuff.  Which is a process.

I had concerns about where the unit would be stored and had come up with something we could try, but head Millennial was like, I bet I could fit it in the hall closet.  Me: O.o  

Understand that this closet has been close packed since I moved in.  Oh, I get outerwear and TV tables out of it on the regular.  The painting stuff is on a high shelf and I periodically get it down for touch ups.  We traditionally keep the wheel chair in the front for those occasions when I need it.  One of the cat carriers is in there for vet emergencies, plus the back up emergency cane, one of the card tables...  You get the idea.  This is not a big closet.  Everything in there is in there for a good reason, and dealing with it is a real pain in the ass.  

The Millennial had reorganized it at some point during one of his organizing sprees, but it being summer, I was only opening the left panel to get or put back TV tables, usually on game night.  In a hurry.  Without really looking.  I let him try to fit the monster in there on the grounds that it would be a dramatically better place than what was now plan B (My idea).  

Gentle readers, he did it!  I am blown away.  He even made enough extra space for the big plastic fan Squirrel gave me when he upgraded at some point during the summer heat emergency.  Head Millennial is an organizational God.

We also started the moving things around in the living room, cleaning and making space part of Gothmas Phase 1, pulled the boxes for phase one out of my bedroom closet and stacked them in the living room, and put up the Halloween trees, though didn't decorate them.  It looks so much more cheerful with them there.

After the Millennial clocked out, we ate dinner and watched the Surreal Estate two part season ender and watched assorted cats explore the area by the window.  Livia sensibly hides during Gothmas related commotion and emerges later to discover the humans have yet again illogically rearranged her living space.  Sigh.  Tavy got the special treat of getting to sit next to his favorite Millennial on the sofa and nap by his head for nearly two hours, having exhausted himself 'helping' with the Forbidden Closet reorganization and with the excited running around in celebration of a Gothmas Box Moving Day, one of his favorite Autumn activities.

Tomorrow?  We decorate the Cat Asylum Interior!

In other news, I would like to thank the benefactor who made sure that we had not only enough money for car repair, but car insurance auto withdraw.  Whoever you are, you are my hero.

*The Gothmas season stretches from the beginning of the Autumn rainy season in September to the first week of January.  It is a disability friendly Gothy way to celebrate Autumn. 

Phase 1: Halloween Tree, Halloweentown, and assorted interior decorations go up. In September as soon as the weather turns. 

Phase 2: We add exterior Halloween decorations.  It runs from close to October 1st as we can get to around November 3rd. 

Phase 3:  We take down all the exterior decorations except uncarved gourds (arranged as a ‘Harvest Display’) and the lights, which I keep off except in emergencies when I need extra lights to do something outside in the garden to avoid pushing the HOA over the line into fining us.  This saves a fuck of a lot of spoons on taking lights down and putting them back up.  I stick my Birthday presents and Samhein presents under the larger black hallowed tree. 

Phase 4: We gild the lily.  Basically we layer all the Solstice stuff on top of the Gothmas stuff already up, which again saves a fuck ton of spoons and since I’m not christian is an excuse to keep all the gothy decoration stuff up because glitter trees full of geeky and goth ornaments are cheerful things for the dark of the year. 

Breakdown: Generally, we start taking things down on the 2nd or 3rd of January.  sometimes it takes a few days, but it’s all set up to do in stages.  I store things in boxes by phase with Phase one boxes on top to be easy to grab next year and phase 4 on the bottom.  Organization like this is everything if you are a disabled person who takes Gothmas this seriously.

The nice thing about it is I can get all my Gothy stuff past the HOA and everything is done in stages and with a helper which is way more manageable than the try to do it all at once, take it down, put a whole other set of stuff back up a month later process my parents went through every autumn.

The day I decided to do Gothmas this way changed everything and most years results in three and a half months out of every year of genuine gothy pleasure every night.