#i need to relearn how to use tumblr again

[hauntparty]

THE POKEMON SPECIAL INTEREST IS RARING. THE SUBMAS FIXATION NEVER STOPS. RAAAAHHHH

[olderthannetfic]

You've encountered site changes over time as a fan elder, what do you make of Tumblr potentially being put out to pasture? Tumblr was my coming of age fan site, and im looking for advice to transition to the next thing with grace and less bitterness than I feel now.

--

Ahaha. God, you should have heard the howling about LJ. "Fandom is over!" "Never again shall we dwell in fandom's True Home!" etc.

Hell, this endless "only LJ was good" crap turns up in replies here on posts where I as OP have very clearly laid out why that's rose colored glasses nonsense and you can so make friends on tumblr, have a conversation on tumblr, etc.

I had my crabby phase about this during the transition from Yahoo Groups to LJ. A lot of the real olds had it over paper zines and the transition to the internet.

I don't know if reading these hilariously samey old posts would help. It does give perspective, I think.

--

As for what you should do, do what I did with Tumblr:

1.

Look around to identify the Next Thing fandom is going to camp out on.

It may take a few guesses and some time to figure this out. You will likely not be an early adopter. Fandom was well established here by the time I joined at the end of 2010. Of course, by now, all those 2009 and before accounts are long gone, but at the time, I was a n00b joining other people's space despite having been in fandom for ages.

2.

Don't expect to enjoy it

I didn't join tumblr because I liked it. In fact, I despised it. I kept right on despising it until a brief stint in Sherlock fandom, a fandom that was so active here at the time that I was able to finally see the good aspects of the site's structure and features.

This is the mistake a lot of people make. They give things a cursory try, don't enjoy them, and go "not for me", forgetting that the last site also had a steep learning curve that was either difficult or that they didn't notice because they were in a different phase of their life.

Bitterness and grief are, frankly, an inherent part of the process. You can try not to be a debbie downer in your public comments, but you can't just not feel those things during the awkward part of the transition. Sometimes, acting positive and cutting off excessively negative thoughts can make you feel less negative overall, but it doesn't happen immediately.

3.

Accept that feeling cranky and old is both a you problem and a state of mind, not a property of the new site

Relatedly, the way we remember fandom platform X feeling usually has more to do with us being in college with fandom friends down the hall or having discovered Our People for the first time or some other time when we had a lot of energy and positive emotions. Often, we were in the throes of a first or new fandom love too, probably for some megafandom that other people also cared about at the same time.

When fandom is leaving some site, there's a grieving process anyway, but we're also often in a worse part of our lives for starting new things. We're busy. We're tired. We're between fandoms. We feel like we already paid our dues to build up our community. Why should we have to start again?

But let me tell you, you always need to start again eventually. I go to a weekly vidders' zoom chat, and a lot of the people in there are old as balls, including Kandy, the person who invented vidding back in the 70s. She's a lot of decades and a few cancers in, and she had to relearn how to vid on a computer after transitioning from slideshows to VCR vidding back in the day. If bad health, platform changes, and dead friends were going to stop her, she'd be long gone.

It's like sharks: you stop swimming, you die.

This isn't just about fandom, obviously. It's about avoiding a midlife crisis and, later, about avoiding feeling emotionally geriatric even when your body is falling apart.

Change gets us all, but being mentally old is a choice. The real reason I gave tumblr such a try was that I had been so resistant to getting on LJ. I was 20. Even a year later, it was fucking embarrassing to have been a crotchety old hag as a college student. I promised myself I'd soldier through the next change instead of dragging my feet about it. And it totally worked in the end! But boy did it not make the transition any less unpleasant emotionally!

4.

Find your joy

As is obvious from the above, the vast majority of the problem is just emotions. Fandom has been on a million broken sites with shitty features. We go where the people are, regardless of whether it has the technological aspects we liked at the last place. The actual shape of that platform is largely irrelevant.

What does matter is whether we as an individual fan are still excited and happy about something. I was between fandoms recently and went looking around for BL series I hadn't watched yet. People kept suggesting things set in the present day with too-cheesy production values and too many banal schoolboys in modern day settings without even anything spicy going on. I realized that the BL/danmei scene wasn't really cutting it for me and I should go for production values and genre and non-canon ships. You probably scrolled annoyedly past the picspams that resulted.

(Of course, hilariously, someone has now shown me the trailer of Red Peafowl, so someone may be making BL that feels like it's for me after all. Look at all that badwrong and very dark color grading.)

When you're in a good place emotionally, it's a hell of a lot easier to weather any change, and when you have a new fandom, it's a lot easier to connect with other fans.

A lot of people wait around for lightning to strike twice. They found their first fandom by accident, and they expect it to happen seamlessly again. For me, it's far more productive to brute force it: collect up a big list of what's popular or what's new and go through it till you find things you might like, then try them all.

And part of this, obviously, is not waiting for other fans to make the party happen. The more you need to join something other people are already doing, the less choice you'll have in fandoms or in platforms. If you aren't picky and just go where the tropey longfic is, that can work, but even then, favorite authors disappear or go to fandoms you hate and former megafandoms dry up. If you're the one bringing the party, it's a lot easier to find a new fandom or platform or community to have fun in.

[kaydenverse]

a/n: ohmygod the ghost blurb did numbers im happy eee! thank you so much!! here’s something else i just thought of, i tried a new format style I’m trying to get back into relearning how to use tumblr again (and get back into the swing of writing it’s been… a minute) do give me a sec to figure it out lmaO also send requests or your headcanons on task force 141 if you’d like!

-

ghost going non-verbal after really intense missions and gets a little clingy with soap during this time.

-

the first time ghost did this, soap is a tad confused but he doesn’t question it. he’s pretty quick to catch onto the things that ghosts needs or wants during this time.

ghost trusts soap the most during this vulnerable time period. not that he doesn’t trust the rest of the task force when he’s non-verbal, it’s just that soap gets it ya know?

ghost silently following soap around once the two get back on base as they strip off their tactical gear and head to debrief.

soap will ask ghost a question and when ghost doesn’t respond, soap just smiles a little, pats his friend’s (they are more than friends but don’t realize it yet) shoulder, and mutters. “tas alright, take as long as you need.”

it makes ghost just a little (a lot) giddy. he feels safe and understood.

anything ghost needs to say, soap has this talent of just knowing before ghost even attempts to write it down somewhere.

“anything to add, ghost?” price turns towards the masked man.

ghost simply looks at the scottish man sitting next to him as he drums his gloved fingers on the arm of his chair.

soap barely looks out of the corner of his eye before he snorts, his lips tugging up into a smile, and says “he said can we please wrap this bloody meeting up, he’s tired.” ghost nods in agreement and price just stares at the two, baffled while gaz barks out a laugh.

“i’d have to agree with him.” soap grins

depending on how intense the mission was, ghost can be silent for a few hours or sometimes a few days but soap still remains patient and helps ghost whenever he can.

sometimes ghost will even stay with soap on their days off after missions at soap’s house and that leads to ghost flying through soaps sticky notes until he’s verbal again.

soap spends an abnormal amount on sticky notes for this reason. he even goes out of his way to get a few nice pens for him.

ghost doesn’t know but soap keeps a lot of the sticky notes and pieces of paper that have ghost’s shitty handwriting sprawled across them. soap’s favorite one says “fuck you.” with a little heart drawn next to the words.

when ghost speaks again, soap is always caught off guard. ghost finds this incredibly amusing.

soap stands in his kitchen, humming softly to himself as he flips the grilled cheese he’s making for himself. well, he already made himself that sits on a nearby plate. this one was for ghost who had walked into the living room where soap was, reached over the back of the couch, and slapped a sticky note that read “i’m hungry” onto the shorter man’s forehead before leaving the room immediately after.

“you’re out of laundry detergent.” a deep british voice speaks and soap’s soul nearly leaves his body as he says various swears in his heavy scottish accent.

“for fuck’s sake, simon! make yourself known when you enter a room!” soap whips around to find ghost standing at the counter with his hands shoved in his sweatpants pockets.

it’s been about two days since soap had last heard the man speak. soap buries the thought of having missed his teammates voice before it has the chance to fluster him but he can’t stop his warm smile in time.

ghost shrugs and soap catches the amusement in the other man’s eyes through the mask.

“you just need to just be more aware, sergeant.”

-

MY BOYS, MY PRECIOUS BOOYYSS

[chuuvtw]

obviously already into novermber but here's the list I'm following for reference :3

[AGAIN: most of these go towards whump/nsft but anything that is triggering or maybe too porny for tumblr will be censored (with an uncensored version either under the cut or linked on my twitter)]

I've already planned out some of the characters but others I really don't fucking know (I just write down stuff I love in prompts and then never actually processed I need to draw them)

Some of these are so obvious about the character, and that's really funny to me </3

Congrats if you get the character correct lmao

(Day 1) At Gunpoint

(Day 2) Strung up

(Day 3) Cuts and open wounds

(Day 4) Public Humiliation

(Day 5) Comfort after an accident

(Day 6) Thinking about someone

(Day 7) Femdom shenanigans 🙏

(Day 8) Curiosity induced omo

(Day 9) Angry at the world because they pissed themselves </3

(Day 10) Not noticing that they're pissing themselves

(Day 11) "You're so disgusting."

"I know"

(Day 12) Almost passed out

(Day 13) Character with a big ego being knocked down a peg (my beloved)

(Day 14) Holding contest and the participants have no morals

(Day 15) Nobody believed that they had to go

(Day 16) Piss induced mental breakdown

(Day 17) Hear me out, Omo, but with a priest (I know 0 priest characters, so this is going to be some sort of au)

(Day 18) FEAR WETTING 🔥🙏🔥

(Day 19) Bed wetting with a partner, but they aren't nice about it

(Day 20) Pissing while hysterically crying, like real gross messy crying

(Day 21) Painful Hold + someone telling them just to go

(Day 22) Wetting in order to get out of a situation

(Day 23) Dom pissing on their sub

(Day 24) Terrified of messing up their cute clothes

(Day 25) Wetting during a very serious situation

(Day 26) Stuck and unable to properly move

(Day 27) Throwing up and accidentally wetting as well

(Day 28) Being made fun of

(Day 29) Thought they had hid their accident well, but they genuinely made it worse

(Day 30) Relearning how to use the bathroom

[elvenbeard]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Yes I'm actually doing this on a Wednesday wooo :D

I just went back through all my tags of the last month and man, you guys ;__; <3 I'm not good at keeping up with tumblr atm and I don't have something to share every week, so I think once a month a WIP Wednesday might be a good compromise XD Thank you for all the tags!!

@theviridianbunny @dreamskug @ouroboros-hideout @lokiina @therealnightcity @chevvy-yates tagging you all right back!

So, with that off of my list of works in progress, as is answering all the tag games and quizzes, some projects I'm working on atm:

Writing: Love is stored in the olive jar (WT) - Chapter 13

It's done, but still needs a lot of editing, as it got very heavy on dialogue in the end and I want it all to flow more nicely and make it a bit more scenic XD Too many instances of "she looked up again" or "he paused for a moment/second" xD But I'm getting there! Here's a snippet from the already somewhat polished beginning:

“Alright,” Fuentes said as she finally caught her breath again, “I suggest we cut straight to the chase.” “Yes,” V nodded, “Thank you again for taking the time.” “Of course,” Fuentes nodded, “I have to admit, I have been thinking about you and your case a lot these past days. Even with the limited knowledge I have so far, I still believe I may be able to help. If you are willing now to tell me more about your condition now, of course.” ‘Willing’ wasn’t the word V would use, it was more a necessity at this point. “I will,” he said, “But only if you can provide me with a certain level of security.” Fuentes shifted in her chair slightly and frowned, then she opened one of the drawers of her desk and pulled out a tablet. She turned it on and began to search for something on it while maintaining eye contact with V as best as she managed. “You’ve come here today as my patient. As far as I’m concerned, everything, anything that we discuss, falls under the doctor-patient confidentiality. My contract with the Little China MedCenter binds me to treat your data and information with utmost care and discretion. All data we store is locked away securely, all in accordance with your Trauma Team policy. I can resend you the patient information papers and contracts, although I think most of them you should already have…” “I care less about the MedCenter than about what you personally do with the information I’m going to give you,” V said, and Fuentes stopped her search, narrowing her eyes slightly. “I’m not sure what you’re alluding to,” she said, still polite, but significantly more tense than before. “Nothing,” V shook his head carefully, “This is just not something I tell random strangers on the street… no offense, of course. If I have to play with open cards, I need you to as well.”

In which Vince hates doctors but has to trust one now, boo XD

Writing: Some drabbles :3

Inbetween the longfic I still have some ask prompt drabbles to fill that I'm looking forward to tackling soon! And in a sudden burst of inspiration I wrote out a long although not very serious convo between Vince and Johnny the other day xD I'd love to turn it into a (VP) comic maybe, but I'm not sure yet XD

Art: Nothing new since last time, slowly chipping away at some bigger projects inbetween

VP: Currently no concrete plans for a bigger project

Although I wanna do more "days in the life" for Vince!! And I wanna play around more with some poses though and have a very soft set to share that I gotta edit a bit still ;_; Tomorrow probably!

Also, I'd like to turn the interface thingies from my recent "V as NPC" projects into shareable templates, that is also on my wip/ to-do list! Just wanna gather some in-game reference shots first :D

Modding: 👀👀👀

I'm working on a little something maybe, and I'm so excited :DDD Just gotta relearn how to do Archive XL, it's been half a year xD And I fought MLSetup Builder so fucking hard, but now I know how to edit MLMask Setups, so that's a victory at least XD And I have a base for a very kitschy coat :3

But yes, so much to that so far! See you again in a month or so probably with an ever-growing pile of wips xD But maybe some more writing, maybe some more art, and maybe a finished mod after too long 👀

[zephfair]

Hello? Anyone still here?

Hey, who disappeared for months and has desperately missed all her little friends who live on this hell-site but has been too exhausted and overwhelmed to actually login ... and who lost track of where this sentence was going ... Yeah, this girl.🤗

But, wow, have I missed you all and all the beauty that is Tumblr, and I hope you'll forgive me for secreting myself away since--holy cow--January.

Quick life update behind the cut.

So, I knew going back to work full-time at my age after quite a long unintended break AND now having health disabilities, well, I knew it would be hard. I knew I would have to adjust my whole, entire life. I expected it to be incredibly difficult, and I fully planned to give myself some grace and time in having to change my every routine.

But somehow, I still underestimated it.

I am so thankful to have a job now, with a steady (if small) income and benefits that frankly make me want to weep with thanks. I mean, I don't have time to go to the doctor, but at least now I could afford to go, if I could get there.

But wow, work is tough. Not just the literal work but, as I said, changing my entire life around it. I'm not complaining, but I am doing my best to learn all new skills (job is not in my old field), relearn how to work and reschedule my own needs and just upend everything.

The absolute worst thing has been trying to take care of my aunt. I was to leave town on Jan. 7 to start my training on Jan. 8.

My 90-year-old aunt fell and broke her pelvis (and a finger and needed some stitches) Jan. 2. I spent every waking hour with her over the rest of that week. While I'd planned to spend that week cleaning my house, getting my business in order and just resting, I was freaking out and traveling through the snow and literally worried sick about her.

It was bad.

And I couldn't stay with her like I did when she broke her hip because I had to attend training full-time. At least they let us come home super-early from that first on-site week of training, but that led to a literal nightmare of a drive home one night through snow, ice, rain, flooding and fog that I'm not joking I've had nightmares about before and now since. Long story.

So, I spent January and February training and working 9 hours a day then spending all day Saturday at her place cleaning and doing laundry and making sure she had everything she needed for a week, and then I had Sunday to do my own laundry and clean the house and take care of my own things...which just keep getting pushed back because I'm too worn out.

Thank God, Aunt made a miraculous recovery and now is doing her own house and laundry etc. but I still go out one day a weekend and do anything else she needs and make sure she has all her groceries and supplies and stuff.

We're all each other has.

Needless to say, I haven't been taking care of myself. I don't sleep well anyway, but add the stress of the new job and my dear aunt and my own health issues, and I'm exhausted. Weary. Overwhelmed and just so very tired. My body is so heavy, I can barely move anymore. It's bad.

And when I finally got to my doctor two weeks ago for my long-delayed check-up, found out I was right about my blood pressure being sky-high again. It went high for the first time several years ago when my Mom was dying, but it eventually settled and was fine. But yeah, it's bad again now. No shock there. And all my lovely chronic health conditions have flared which was no surprise--again, I had braced myself to expect it and power through it, and that's what I'm doing. But it sucks. And it's hard. And there's so much pain.

I don't want to say much about my job, but the over-arching Praise the Lord wonderful thing about it is working from home. There have been so many days already that I never would've been able to get to an office to work, but I can push through it here because I don't have to use any spoons to get myself "ready" (sweatshirts and leggings, no personal grooming necessary, yay), and I don't have any anxiety about driving because zero commute. It has its challenges too because Teams is a weird office communication alternative to get used to, but on the good side, I don't have to deal with interpersonal drama from co-workers.

The work itself is challenging, but I have some days where I finally feel quietly competent and think, Oh, I can actually do this. And then there are some days that leave me in tears and praying for help because it's just too hard. But there's no way I'm quitting; they're going to have to fire me because did I mention the benefits are incredible? I mean, I live in the US and if you knew how much I had to pay last year for my own health insurance, and then the scope and biopsies and then the skin cancer and surgery and then the other skin pre-cancer biopsy and treatment. Yeah, I'm still in big debt from all of that.

So I keep praying that they keep me and that I'll do a good job. And my immediate supervisor has started piling extra work on me over the past 3 weeks so suddenly I'm doing my own stuff AND cleaning up the work from co-workers who aren't keeping up. And all of them have been working since October while just a handful of us began in January?

I have been complaining about this to my aunt, and I thought it meant that my supervisor thinks I'm incapable or is punishing me for trying to get through own my entire workload every single day. But she believes he's giving me all their shit work because I'll actually do it, and I admit, I have gotten some of it completed successfully after they'd given up on it. So, I don't know.

I know that I'm a perfectionist and I've always pushed myself as hard as possible to do my best at work (not at housework and other things in my life lols) but I really hope that it gets me a good reputation at this job and they keep me.

So yeah, that's what's going on here. I've completely abandoned the fandom things in life that I actually enjoy. I almost feel, like, guilty when I'd think about trying to make some time to browse Tumblr or wasting time on social media or even trying to write fic. I get done with work at 6:30 pm, and until I get something to eat and then clean up, it's 8 or 8:30. I have to spend about an hour on the phone with Aunt (and I call her every morning, break, and lunch time too). By then, I can barely walk or move so I just try to make it upstairs to bed. Even though I can't sleep, it just feels nice to lie down.

But I miss all of you. And I miss fandom fun. And I want to be around more because maybe it would recharge me rather than me feeling so freaking overwhelmed every minute of the day.

And I promise not to complain and bitch all the time, now that I've gotten it out of my system. But thanks for listening.

I do miss you, and I love you all.

PLEASE let me know if I've missed anything important in your lives and goings on here! I've got A LOT of catching up to do!

[heikeee]

i think the universe is telling me to get off the internet. one mishap at a time. missing the window to talk to my friends. online shopping gone wrong. i need to relearn how to use it, i have taken it for granted for far too long. it is always keeping me company and making noise for me to not really pay much attention to, like a circus monkey, cursed for all eternity to service my every whim. i need a detox and a reavaluation. I've quit instagram many times before so it shouldn't be hard to do it again. but i also need to quit mindlessly reading webcomics and mindlessly tumblr scrolling on my phone. a phone needs to be a phone again. a computer needs to be a computer again. a tv needs to be a tv again. a phone can, but shouldn't, be all 3. it actively impedes my connection to these other 2 machines by making itself more enticing. more useful. it is all in one. i feel its pull, like i am on the other end of it, beckoning myself to pay attention to me. this desperate call is relatable and frustrating, for i fail not to answer. i always do. what if my phone gets lonely?

[morniingstarr]

Guess who's back?

After many years (5 i think!) of discord RP, I am back on Tumblr! I am looking forward to diving back into the RP community! Please do bear with me as I find my groove and getting use to writing with new partners, I also need to relearn how to format posts on web and on mobile too, and get used to tagging stuff again! So much to relearn its unreal!

Also, this is a side blog, so follows / likes will come from @madamslaytan

Any memes etc in the mean time will be greatly appreciated :)

[mebemilena]

Not like we have a date with destiny

You met Layla online and her visits to your store became more regular.

---

A/N:

it's been YEARS i don't post anything, just silently reading fanficion around. Gotta relearn how to use Tumblr again. I waited one year to watch Moonknight, always wait for the hype to pass because i know i get hyped too and my poor mind can't really take that. I absolutely loved Layla, that's a fact.

as usual, i'm just trying to exercise my english writing skills. I feel like this was a part of a bigger piece but I can't really develop much. Thank you for reading though. Life's been a bit difficult at times. Lots of anxiety and fear of the future. I wanted to get something light.

i'm starting a series, that's why Sersi is mentioned.

my AO3 link if you'd like to see.

-

You met Layla online. She sent a message to the store you worked at looking for a specific book. You attended her on the phone and she went to the bookstore shortly after, paying in cash.

"You're a lifesaver.", she thanked you.

Soon, her visits to the store became more regular. Layla would take her time to read the back of the covers or arrive with a specific request. You became friends over illustrated books though, specially the ones about ancient culture. You told her about your beliefs and about your own culture, finding it amazing when she shared her own story. There was no denying you had a great connection.

"We should go out for drinks.", Layla invited you. "We only meet when you're working or when I need something work related." she'd insist.

It was true. You had never met in other circumstances and knew very little about each other outside duty, except a few things you could notice by yourself. Layla was an interesting woman, she was gentle and polite. Maybe not very social but very friendly anyway. It wasn't hard to slowly fall for her but of course you decided to keep a safe distance. If she didn't like you like that by any chance, you were not up to spoil the friendship you were developing.

"Let's do it tonight then? It's Friday, tomorrow's my Saturday off", you agreed. Was it too soon?

Layla seemed to think for a moment. Almost like she didn't believe it had been so easy. All she had to do was ask. Simple like that. "Okay.", a smile ghosted her lips and she shook her head, as if getting rid of intrusive thoughts. "It's gonna be fun."

Around 6:30pm, when you had closed the store, Layla appeared by the door. She was supposed to text you her location and you'd meet here but she had other plans. "I thought it'd be nice for us to walk there, it's not far from here.", she explained.

Layla was uncaractheristicaly nervous. She was watching her feet as you walked to the bar and you could sense the thick atmosphere. Was she nervous?

"So, i think we could grab something to eat first.", She finally looked at you. "You know, so that we won't get drunk too fast."

You agreed, as easy as it sounds, and suggested a small cantina you liked. You had some pizza and decided to just try their wine, not wanting to leave the cozy place. You drank and ate and talked for hours, leaving only because the owner came talking to you saying it was time for them to close.

Layla walked you home, the cold air sobering you up way too fast. Your night couldn't end better, though you thought that maybe it could. If Layla kissed you goodnight.

You stood by your doorway and bent goodbye and Layla kissed your cheek when you hugged. It happened a few time after that. You went out for drinks or food, hanging out together for log walks, cultural programs and sometimes to watch movies at each other's place.

You were talking about your romantic life when you mentioned the last mess you got involved in. "She was nice and all. Really. We'd go to the museu, to natural parks. We had fun together, i thought we were fine. But then her ex came along and she just disappeared.", you told her, realizing that it didn't really hurt anymore.

Layla listened to you, giving the attention you deserved. There was a hint of something in her eyes and she smiled. "Just like we do? You seem to have a type.", she said, playfull.

You chocked on your drink.

Layla laughed at your antics and gave you a napkin. She kept looking at you, a smile never leaving her face. "I mean, you said she was a Historian, that she worked with museology, and i'm an archeologist. We both like going out for drinks and trying new food, we're both into ancient culture...", she explained.

Your jaw dropped, you were speechless. Layla looked into your eyes and took a big gulp of her wine before dropping the bomb. "We both have a close relationship with our exes, she told you. "I mean, i just got divorced.", her eyes inspected you for the smallest of reactions.

You felt your heart falling on the floor. If she had just gotten a divorce it meant she probably wasn't ready for any romantic bullshit. Part of you was okay with that, because you liked her a lot and were willing to accept what she had to give you. Another aspect she had in common with Sersi.

The other part of you was catching the bitter taste of rejection.

Layla was waiting for you to say something, you knew that. But there were no words for you to use. She seemed to understand the hint and started talking again. "We are friends though. Kinda.", she cleaned her throat. "We work together sometimes.", she explained and noticed you were still silent, which made Layla start to panic. Was it the wrong time? The wrong words?

She took a deep breath. "I don't know where this is going but i'd love for it to continue.", she smiled, almost shy at herself. You nodded and approached her side of the couch way too slowly , kissing the tip of her nose.

Layla relaxed and smiled larger. She placed her hands on your cheeks before kissing you on the lips.

---

[leothil]

I think you're very mature and that's why I wanted to ask about your thoughts about what's going on in the fandom? Do you think we crossed a line and we can't fix it? Or maybe people are exaggerating and everything we see is normal online? I don't know, I'm looking for someone who will give me thoughts on 911 tumblr without yelling at me.

Thank you, that's very nice of you to say! I don't like to think there's things you can't come back from, especially when this at the root is about disagreeing about a tv show. There will be people who will never see each other's posts again due to mutual blocks and unfollows, but people fluctuating in and out of each other's circles online is quite normal. At this point the fandom is also so big that it's impossible to be connected to everyone, and that's fine! Everyone is better off finding a corner to make into their own and share thoughts with likeminded people.

But then there are people who post stuff like this (yeah it's a twitter screenshot but I've seen similar posts on tumblr too):

And I just. I honestly don't know what to do about that. This is no longer disagreeing about fictional characters, this is wishing harm on and talking shit about real people, and yeah the chances are maybe small that he'll ever see it, but that doesn't make it any more okay to put out in the open. Some haterism can and should stay in the dm:s.

So yeah, I don't know if I have a good answer for you? I don't think the fandom will completely break apart and disappear, but I do think a lot of people need to relearn how to take a deep breath and step away from the screen for a while when you feel the urge to write a mean message or wish bad things for a certain group of people. AND! Remember that people use different communication styles, so something you read as serious spec can have been written as tongue-in-cheek. We're all passionate about our little guys, but we have to remember to give some grace.

[myverycoolnickname]

HELLO! I am so excited to see you posting gameplay again! I love your little sims family, and have always aspired to have one like it; unique, goofy, and connected. I’m sorry to say I never got there, but seeing you post again has inspired me to play again as well… maybe once I finish uni I will have a go at my own goofy, casual gameplay and see if I can finally get attached to some sims!

hi!!!

it makes me happy to hear that you enjoy following my sims stories :)

you know, when i took my long break from playing the sims, i thought that it was the end. i felt no desire to play and tumblr stressed me out (it still does). whenever i tried to go back to my legacy, i felt depressed because i lost some of my save files. i just couldn't imagine doing all of this again. it was also a very difficult year (or two) for me in general, a lot of bad things happened. that made me focus more on my life instead of my sims. but bad days are finally over and im happy that i found my way back here. feels like i never left tbh 😁 i had to relearn how to play the game, how to use tumblr and photoshop. now im happier than ever because im finally doing what i love. this game has always been my passion 😊

attaching to sims is a common problem, i think. i tried playing with new characters but got bored very quickly and missed my old sims. im really lucky to have so many sims to choose from, and even now i get bored sometimes. i hope im not gonna burn myself out again..

i also hope that you will create your unique sims that will entertain you for years 😄❤️

sorry if it's too much information, literally no one asked for this kind of answer but i guess i needed to say all of that, so thank you for this message!😁

[gebstargeb]

Art dump 👍(16 drawings, roughly chronological)

first/second digital drawing on PC! been using ibispaint since birth. I used to constantly be like "oh drawing on your phone isn't that hard it just takes practice!" like girl you're not gonna know that you're in hell if you were born there 😭

Art fight for ritterdoodles oc, Calaca, my favorite art fight from this year. First digital drawing in half a year, then immediately forgot how to do line art afterward and stopped drawing digitally for another half a year.

Steven at his desk, tried to replicate the shading from my art fight attack but… lord it's kinda ugly

trying rendering out on PC for the first time, eurgh

Sketch for a fake Daredevil comic cover? Looks like I'm the floor and he's about to death-drop on me

a sketch for a comic about daredevil being emo and being like “No… I only work alone...” Moon Knight and spider-man are there of course

Harvey from Stardew! My go-to spouse, going for Krobus in my current save though. Practice for a school club, I'm making pixel art for our game! large gap between this and the previous one

I like this drawing a lot and drew it specifically for Instagram, but I don't want to post it there because Peter B. looks pregnant. I NEED to practice drawing chubby people

Digital rendering attempt #2. mmph. its questionable. tried really hard on the composition too lol

steven and layla in their hero suits but they're also in dresses... muah... this was very hard to draw I do not know how to draw two people looking at each other without them looking flirty

spider miku comic book cover! drew it to try and relearn digital art! her webs are music notes! large gap between this and the pervious one

trying to reteach myself line art, halfway through I realized it kinda looks like that "all or nothing" Tumblr post and stopped in fear

large gap between this and the others. I was digitally lining a sketchbook spread and had to crunch out some lineart warmups because I was struggling so hard, idk why lineart is so stressful for me lol

this is gorgeous this made digital art click for me again I love layla shes so pretty shes my wife

realized if I wanna do lineart warmups I should do... just lineart... wow. I'm like plato.

tried to recreate the beauty of number two, not same vibe but still very pretty!!!

hmu for commissions 😘deviant art points only tho <//3

[meganrosanna]

When The Flower Blooms - Prologue

Yeah, I finally decided that this story needs to be continued. I am starting from complete scratch, but I’m old now and I have to relearn how to use tumblr 😭 Cross-posted on my ao3.

Sakura spun back around in her chair to face the large pile of paperwork that still sat in front of her.

"I can't be like Tsunade-sama..." Sakura groaned. "Back to work!"

She fulfilled her dream of opening a mental ward to help the children of the village handle the effect of the war, and it was going smoothly. Sure, from time to time she would have to lose some sleep to finish all the paperwork she had to do, but it was all worth it in the end to her.

It was always in her nature to help people. Even as a weak Genin, Sakura did her best to help her teammates and others around her. When Sasuke left the village for the first time, Sakura realized how helpless she really was. She became Tsunade-sama's apprentice and took up medical ninjutsu, but little did she know how proficient she would be in the field. Six years later, she's surpassed her master and is known as the best medical ninja in the village, perhaps in the whole world, and is one of the strongest Kunoichi of her time.

She has really bloomed into something beautiful.

Sakura spared a quick glance away from her paperwork when she heard a knock on the office door.

"Come in..." Sakura said.

Long blonde hair peeked its way through the door.

"Hey, Sakura!"

Sakura's brows pulled together as she continued to fill out her paperwork.

Ino slammed her hand on the desk, nearly scattering the files all over the floor of her friend's office. "Sakura!"

"That wasn't very nice of you," Ino dismissed Sakura's underwhelming response with a wave of her hand and rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. I have a patient to get to soon, but I was passing by and wanted to ask you about girl's night tonight. Tenten, Hinata and I are going out to BBQ! You in?"

Sakura sighed and rested her head in the palm of her hand. "Sorry Ino, but I'm busy tonight," gesturing to the stacks upon stacks of papers in front of her.

"You always seem to find time for work but not for your friends! This has got to be the millionth time you've missed girl's night!"

"I know Ino, and I'm really sorry. I'll try to make it next time, okay?"

"Oh you better, or I am dragging you out this office and to the hot springs! Got that?"

Sakura sighed, "Yeah, I got it, Ino."

"And don't overwork yourself, ok? I need you to sleep in your bed tonight, not that old chair again."

"Ok, Ino. Thank you. But you shouldn't keep your patient waiting-" By the time Sakura finished her sentence, Ino was already out the door. She leaned back in her chair, looking at the blank roof above her.

"Over work, huh?"

Sakura took the moment of peace to ponder over what Ino said. She knows that she's been working a lot recently, but nothing would get done without some sacrifice. Sakura would much rather overwork herself to the point of exhaustion than have the people she's known for her entire life struggle.

But she made the decision to listen to her best friend's advice and make it a goal to sleep in her own bed tonight.

"Alright! As soon as I finish all this work, I'll grab some food and head on home!"

Now with the motivation of food on her mind, Sakura began to tackle the documents in front of her.

[moemothra]

your style seems really cool but how come you only draw skinny characters? :(

Hi! You should prolly send these asks to my art blog next time rather than this one in the future but that’s ok I’ll answer it here, and actually I’m glad you asked this because I agree with you. I look at my galleries and I don’t like what I see.

This is probably going to be really long so I’m putting my full response under the cut

I do want to say that I only post an extremely small fraction of my art publicly, and I post to tumblr the least. And I also almost exclusively draw ocs (you can probably see that the only fan art I tend to make is of Gon and Killua) and I am even more guarded about posting my ocs online. My neocities is still a WIP and a lot of my ocs don’t have pages yet either.

THAT BEING SAID, I still don’t have enough fat characters, there are ocs that I am redesigning to be fatter and there are fat ocs from the past that need more attention from me. You’re right, skinny people dominate my galleries. I have recently come to this realization myself and I want to remedy it.

Also I’m not gonna lie, my art has stopped diversifying in pretty much every aspect.. I stopped doing backgrounds, I stopped doing dynamic poses, I stopped branching out and challenging myself. I actually consider myself a beginner now and I am very very very slowly relearning art and trying to rediscover my love for it. I have a really tumultuous history with art, and I don’t think it’s relevant to your ask for me to dive into it, but I just wanted to say that I am VERY AWARE of all my problems and shortcomings as an artist and I am working to fix them. Treating skinny people as the default is one of them!

I honestly don’t think any of what I wrote is a very satisfactory but I want to be as open and sincere as I can be. I used to be a much better artist than I am now, maybe not in technical skill but definitely creatively and as far as subject matter went. I’m not particularly happy with where I’m at now, but I am regaining my motivation to be better. I have a list of 2024 artist goals which includes trying to find a life drawing class and doing studies again.

And now for the sappy part, your ask is actually something I really needed to hear. I’ve spent a very long time believing no one cares what I draw either way, and that I can draw or not draw whatever I want because no one is looking. Your ask, even on the off chance that maybe it was sent in bad faith, is the first sign the someone actually does care, at least a little bit, and has noticed my art enough to be able to point out a glaring flaw. No one else has taken that much of an interest, positively or negatively, in an extremely long time and I didn’t realize how impactful feedback is until right this moment.

I would say keep an eye on my neocities, because i still avoid posting ocs to tumblr, so most of my art will probably end up there. or on sheezy whenever it comes back!

[messengerhermes]

Thinking a lot about that one post about "make your OCs a hotter cooler version of yourself" and I want to show y'all something:

I'm writing a novel right now that started as fanfic, but got so distant from the original source material I admitted to myself this story is now it's own beast. On the surface, it's erotica about polyamorous witches harnessing magic via BDSM. But it's also about taking your agency back from oppressive governments, family legacies, and your own traumatic past in order to become a more whole, alive version of yourself. These drawings are of one of the three main characters. On the left is how he starts the series, and on the right is how he ends it. He begins the first novel In a Bad Place. He's been exploited and institutionalized for several years and essentially turned into an instrument by having his own desires used against him. This has eroded his sense of self worth quite a bit and a lot of his arc in the first book is about relearning the basics of "you are allowed to say 'fuck that' about shit you don't want." By the third book, his arc becomes, "Living for yourself, even when it makes other people uncomfortable, does not make you selfish, or unworthy of the things you want." Now, none of my characters are complete self inserts, and none of them have the exact same problems I do. But one of the most effective ways I have found to write characters that feel real is to channel shit I've felt, gone through and experienced through another lens. So, Story Time: --CW: domestic abuse, emotional and verbal-- About two years ago, I got my shit together and left an abusive relationship that really devastated my self image and my ability to trust other people. My partner, who has a lot of trauma themselves and I think coped with that by being manipulative as hell, was very good at using my shame against me, and playing a game of ping pong with my emotions---I could rapidly go from their dream come true to the destroyer of their heart, often in the span of a few days, or even hours. In a single night, they could make fun of me for my gawkishness, my clothes, my inflamed skin, and also berate me for a stranger flirting with me without me catching it. --end the abuse bits-- It was rough.

Since leaving that relationship, I've been doing a lot of what I'd call, "catching up" in terms of owning my own dreams for myself and reshifting my life to put me at the center. It's been really difficult, especially as shitshows unexpected have made me a primary caregiver for an aging loved one. But it's also been incredibly freeing to let go of trying to be someone who is lovable and just loving myself. As I go through this novel, a lot of T's character growth stems from him needing to figure out what "being himself" looks like outside of being useful to someone else. Part of being himself includes taking care of his body. Traditionally, especially in romance genre work, I feel like the "glow up" a character whose struggled goes through is often about them getting more conventionally beautiful. For men, that often means getting leaner, more ripped, and more manly. But (as I've seen many folks on tumblr point out) often times healing means getting softer and yes, fatter. And that is beautiful too. This is a T4T4T love story, and the trans woman in this series starts the series fat and stays fat, and she is loved and desired the entire time. In T's case, he starts the series with a lot of chronic pain and fatigue, and while he is thin and muscular, he doesn't have stamina to really enjoy the things he used to love. Regaining weight over the course of the series is about him regaining connection with his body and strength. It also is him literally learning to take up space again in his life, regardless of what other people think of him taking up that space. (and yes, admittedly I do love men who are built like refrigerators, and writing what you love, especially in romance, I think is a key to making work that's enjoyable to read) And the funny thing is, writing T this way is helping me as I go through my own healing. My body has changed *a lot* thanks to choices I've made, and even as I feel the fear of "will anyone else want me" I am compelled by how much more comfortable I am in my body and how much I find myself desirable in ways I never did before. And writing a character going through similar changes, letting him get bigger and louder and bolder as the story goes on, and writing a life for him where that makes him more and more desirable to people around him, yes is a wish fulfillment fantasy. But also, it makes that fantasy feel much more possible. T is a weird little guy who loves bugs and carrion birds and scavengers and likes growing plants and singing offkey as he gyrates in his kitchen. He's kinda clammy all the time and his skin gets green around the edges and he's got a pudgy belly to match the thighs that wear through his jeans. He also knows who he is by the end of the series, in a way that makes him the sort of confident that gets beautiful people to sidle up to him from across a crowded room. He's also funny and caring and fun to be around in a way that makes his lovers travel across the country to get him back when he's snatched up from their bed. He's messy, and he's loved. Just as I wish to be. Just as I am capable of being. Just as you are capable of being. So I dunno, maybe have fun with your OC, let them be a hotter, cooler version of you. But don't let predetermined ideas of what hotness is control that. Dig around a little, push against the ways you've been shamed into feeling ugly. Feeling too much. Let your character be all those things you were made to feel embarassed about. Let them be that even more than you allow yourself to be. Then imagine a world where they're even cooler and sexier because of those things.

[sydnswag]

Not Harsh At All

relationship: Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes

summary: Bucky has been living with Steve for a few months now and in the last couple of weeks Steve has been attempting to make Bucky feel better about himself. One day Steve walks in on Bucky looking at himself in the mirror crying, another flashback making him hurt. Steve will go to the end of the world for Bucky to feel better.

warnings: negative self talk,

a/n: hiii this is my first Stucky fanfic I have ever written. I’ve written a couple of books on Wattpad and I’ve done really well there so I wanted to try posting some Stucky stuff on Tumblr. I hope you all enjoy!

• • • •

“Bucky! Babe, I’m home!” Steve calls from the front door of his—their apartment. It has been a few months since Bucky showed up at Steves door, drenched and soaked from rain and his own blood. He was so lost, the memory of Steve coming and going ever since he had pulled the blond from the water. The only thing that Bucky remembered about Steve at the time was that he had once made the brunet feel safe. The Winter Soldier, slowly forming back into Bucky Barnes held on to that feeling like a woman clutching her purse in the subway. Bucky needed to keep remembering so he went back to where he recalled Steve lived.

Since then it has been an uphill battle for both Bucky and Steve to go back to how they once were. Slowly but surely they both realized that they may never be able to be who they once were. So accepting that was just another challenge. But Steve is getting better at it. He is relearning his Bucky. He subtly watches his boyfriend and takes note of his little quirks, his triggers, what makes him happy. Everyday their relationship grows stronger and Bucky starts learning how to depend a little more on Steve.

So, when Bucky doesn’t immediately emerge from some room in their apartment, Steve frowns. Normally after a long day of work Steve comes home and Bucky practically jumps him, he’s just so thankful that Steve came back home to him. Today, there is no sign Bucky is even home. But Steve doesn’t worry too much because Bucky refuses to leave the house in fear of whatever is out there in the big world.

The soft muffled cries coming from the closed door of their bedroom is the only sound Steve hears in their seemingly quiet home.

Steve slowly approaches his and the brunets room, he’s always careful around Bucky when he’s upset. Not because he’s scared of his boyfriend, it is actually the complete opposite. He doesn’t want to scare Bucky. So, Steve knocks on the door, wanting Bucky to know that he is coming in.

When he steps into the room Steve freezes at the sight of Bucky and the area around him. The sheets on the bed are thrown in all directions across the room, the lamp is knocked over, the bulb is shattered. Clothes are thrown everywhere, all photo frames of them are face down, and there Bucky sits, in front of the cracked floor to ceiling mirror. It is painfully obvious that Bucky punched the glass, and based on the lack of blood, Steve assumes Bucky used his metal hand.

Bucky sits in front of the mirror his knees drawn into his chest, only in his boxers. His head is down but Steve can see his tears dripping onto their carpet. Quietly, Steve sits next to Bucky, gently placing his hand on his right shoulder blade. When Bucky doesn’t flinch he takes that as a sign to start rubbing his back, moving his hand in slow, hopefully comforting circles.

“Babe, what happened?” Steve asks Bucky trying to peer at his blocked face.

“I-I’m sorry Stevie.” He cries refusing to look up at the blond.

“Can I give you a hug?” A silent nod is all Steve needs before he wraps his arms around his lover, pulling him on his lap. Steve kisses the top of Bucky’s head and rests his cheek there for a little while. They both sit in the silence, it’s only broken every few minutes by a loud sniffle coming from the former assassin. After Bucky seems to have calmed down a bit, Steve tries again. “What happened here Buck?”

Bucky stays silent for a few seconds, Steve waits patiently, he understands how hard everything is for Bucky. “I was taking off my pyjamas and then I saw myself in the mirror,” his lip trembles but he continues. “My body looks so sharp and harsh. The fucking arm is bad enough but all of my scars and burns, they are just so, so ugly.”

Steves holds Bucky closer as his cries pick up again. “You’re not ugly Bucky. You are so beautiful you have no idea.”

“I just want to feel soft, not harsh.” He cries some more into Steves shoulder. For the rest of the night Steve holds Bucky tight. They rock back and forth until Bucky falls asleep, all the while Steves mind races, coming up with ideas and ways to make Bucky feel better. And he has just the idea.

…

The next morning Steve woke up to run a little earlier, so he can go shopping before Bucky wakes up. He cancels his run with Sam and runs long enough for the stores to be opened by the time he’s done. After last night Steve wanted so bad to take away his boyfriends negative thoughts on his body, burn them and throw them away so Bucky would never have to think like that ever again. Of course Steve couldn’t do that so he thought of something else.

When he got home from his errands, Steve saw Bucky still peacefully asleep under their thin summer blanket.

He decided that he needed to spoil his boyfriend today, he wanted him to know how beautiful he is, how wanted he is, and he was going to do that. So when Steve heard Bucky groan from the kitchen Steve scooped up their bags and the tea he made for Bucky every morning after his run. When Steve stepped into the room his eyes landed on Bucky and his heart swelled with love and adoration for the long haired brunet laying shirtless and glowing in their bed.

“G’morning Stevie,” Bucky smiles at his boyfriend.

“Good morning Buck,” Steve chuckles leaning down to kiss the love of his life on the lips. Bucky pulls away muttering something along the lines of ‘gross’ and ‘morning breath’.

“Babe I got to thinking after last night, and I bought you a few things.” Bucky’s face immediately morphs from calm to guilty. He begins to open his mouth in protest but Steve is quick to cut him off. “You deserve them, plus I love spoiling you, my sweet sweet Bucky.” This time Steve gets away with kissing Bucky.

“You didn’t have to get me anything. I am sorry about yesterday.”

“Hush babe,” Steve ignores his apology, he doesn’t have anything to apologize for. “Just open my gifts.”

Reluctantly Bucky takes the gifts from Steves outstretched hands. Slowly he opens the wrapping.

In the first wrapping there is a massive Sherpa hoodie blanket. In the second wrapping there is a soft grey sweater and matching sweatpants. In the third wrapping there is at least a hundred scrunchies with differing colours and textures, all for his long hair. In the final wrapping is a mug, but not just any mug, its a mug that looks like a little cute bear. Inside there is a a pair of thick reading socks and next to the mug is a book that Bucky has been eyeing every time they go to the bookstore (which is like every week).

Bucky’s eyes tear up with all the gifts on his lap. “You got me,” he pauses to sniffle. “You got me soft things.”

Steve takes Bucky’s face in his hands. “You are not harsh baby, you are soft and cuddly. You like drinking tea and reading books on rainy days, you like cozying up in a heap of blankets when we watch Disney movies. You pull your hair into messy buns in your sweats and sing and hum around the house. Nothing about you is harsh or cold. You are soft and warm my Bucky Bear. Your body is no longer meant for fighting, you can be soft now. And I love you so much.” They both cry as they stare at each other.

“I love you Stevie, thank you for everything,” Bucky muffles after burying his face into the crook in the blonds neck. They spend the rest of the day together, first in bed, then in the shower, then on the couch. After years of torture, abuse, being frozen, and treated as a war machine, for the first time in a very long time, Bucky truly felt soft, for the first time in a really long time, Bucky felt a glimmer of his old self.

All of that thanks to the love of his life.