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hxnjisxng · 6 years ago

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Snowdrops || Han Jisung || The Language of the Flowers AU ||

So idk i haven’t written in a really long time but i’m really excited for this so !! This is also my first time ever writing bullet thingie so,, yeah,,, not all of these will be in the bullet format I just felt like trying out smth new !! and to stay true to my ult Han Jisung i will write about him first. In this like,,, kinda cute little series thing. Every theme will kinda just relate to the flower meaning so,,, yeet !! Also, s/o to my one and only bub @chenle who told me to tag her when my first official writing thing happened so here !!!

Genre: Bad Boy!Jisung x Piano Player!Reader au; bulleted scenario

Warnings: none !!

Word Count: 3.2k

{picture not mine, credits to owner}

Snowdrop: (noun) A European flower which bears white flowers and blooms in February/early March, it signifies the end of winter and the coming of spring. Represents hope, purity, warmth, and new beginnings.

Ever since you were little you’ve known you’ve wanted to be a pianist

It all started when you were younger and you went to see an orchestra with your parents

They 100% expected you to fall asleep in the first,,, like,,, five seconds after you came into the theater

What they did not expect is for you to sit there starry eyed staring at the person playing the piano for a whole 3 hours

They were,,, sister shook,,,,

But they didn’t think much of it, you know, like yeah they just like classical music

You know, as one does

But the second y’all got back into the car that was it

You wouldn’t stop talking about how pretty the music sounded

How much you liked the sound of pressing keys and the sound of the pedal lifting or the sound of the mallets and strings inside of the piano

You loved it

It was as though you had just found your one and only true love, y’all know, the yee to your haw

The ying to your yang

The chris to your weed

Sorry back to the point

You just couldn’t explain it, little four year old you just knew the fluttering feeling in your heart was a good one

So your parents signed you up for piano

They said they would find you the best teacher they could, one that could make you great

So that’s what they did

From a week after that concert, you started piano lessons

And you only fell more in love with the piano as time went on

So, after this little bit of context, flash back to reality

oop there goes gravity oop

there goes rabbit he chokes

Sorry okay eminem is my calling

So it’s the end of winter, it’s been a really cold and bitter winter, but it’s around the end of february and somehow it just HaS noT gotten any warmer

And here we meet our boy jisung

Our chipmunk, our squirrel, our boi yk

But he’s a little bit of a hooligan

A bad boy if you will

You know, the leather jacket, the messy hair, the snarky attitude, the cocky jokes and the cute smile you knOW and he always always ALWAYS has a lollipop

A pink lemonade lollipop to be exact

It’s his favorite flavour

Any who, he’s one of those guys, the type of guy that almost everyone either wants to be him or with him

He’s also a part of a trio of you know bad boys at your school, the other two being his best buds Chan and Changbin

They call themselves 3RACHA

They’re as tight knit as can be, they do everything together

Skip class, hang out, throw parties

You know all that bAd bOY stUfF

He also has a slight reputation to get into fights every so often

Maybe not only so often

Maybe vERY often

But he’s trying his best okay those people just get on his nerves when they poke fun of one of his friends or his music

“I’m just a little misunderstood, okay I didn’t wanna break his nose it just sometimes happens, you know, my hand just kinda lost control of itself and hit him in the nose really really really hard. I swear.”

“Mr. Han, I distinctly remember you telling him to shove a stick up his, excuse my language, ass, and then proceeding to punch him.”

*them sitting in a perfectly silent office* “hM sorry it just got really loud in here, pardon???” :))))))

Real footage of Jisung last week after breaking some guy’s nose

He also loves loves LoVES music

Loves all music

Except for classical and country

He’s always despised classical music, it just seemed so boring

There’s no pounding beat

No lyrics to scream along to

He just found everything about it depressing and irritating and just monotone

Well one day, as he was wandering through the school

You know, as one does when their friends were busy doing who knows what during lunch

He stumbled into the music hall

Now this was an accident

He didn’t really want to be here since the only courses your school offered in terms of music were classical ones

And again

Gross

But for some weird, strange, odd-ball, out of this world, sister shook reason

He felt like he needed to be here

That’s when he heard it

tHE hiLLS aRE aLiVE wiTH

The sound of music

Not the kind of music he liked

It was definitely classical music, so y’all, it’s disgusting

‘I should go, the music is starting to make me depressed already’ he mumbled

But his feet wouldn’t move, his body just kinda froze

It felt like something was just pulling him to that room, to that ugly boring nasty music

And it’s not like he’s never listened to classical before, he had, but this time something was weird about it

He still didn’t like it, it all still sounded the same, nothing interesting

But something for some weiRD REASON was telling him to go to that room

Like something was a little different about the way it was being played

‘Maybe,,,, I should just look for a couple seconds and,,,,,,, tell the person to stop playing that boring stuff,,,, or maybe I could just listen for a bit,,, but like obviously no that’s nasty,,,,’

The door was slightly ajar, so the music was just drifting through the air

Just calling him over

Jisung slowly walked up to the door, and peeped through the window

And there you were

You, reader, in all of your piano classical music glory

Sat there playing your heart out to the world

In that moment when he saw you with your hair slightly drifting over your face

Your eyebrows slightly scrunched up in concentration as your hands ran across the keys

His heart was screaming

Literally just like

dabdikajbksbfkajbDNBDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He almost forgot about the fact he hated classical music if he could just watch you play it all day

Wait,,, what no,,,,

Gross,,,,, the Han Jisung doesn’t like people that easily,,,,,, nuh-uh thats def not him folks

And he got so scared by that feeling

The one inside of his chest

He was scared of how it made his hands feel tingly and it made him feel like he stood up too fast because his head felt so rushed and light

It felt like he was flying, but also crashing down to earth at the same time

And when I say scared

I mean terrified

This boy is mortified of catching feelings

Definitely not because in the third grade the person he liked stomped all over his heart because they wouldn’t give him a cracker,,,,, no who even thOughT tHaT hAHa

Just the thought of him truly giving his whole heart to someone ?? unacceptable

Like in this economy ?? liking someone ?? unreasonable

So he did the only logical thing

He ran away

Far back to the other side of school

And he was so out of it for the rest of the day, he just couldn’t handle it

He even went back to class next period because he was so out of it

“W-welcome Mr. Han take a seat, it’s a pleasure to have you finally join us.”

“mm-hmm”

He didn’t pay attention all day though, his mind was only occupied by you

Cheesy, I know, but it was

Even when he went to hang out with Chan and Changbin

“Bro,,, where were you during lunch ?? you kinda just disappeared”

“I was uhhh,,,, in the library,,,”

“The library ?? are you good ???”

“Yeah,,,,, im fine it’s cool,,,”

“Dude, you alright you seem a little weird.”

“Yeah,,,,,,,,, im just thinking”

Jisung thInKing ??? unheard of

So, this terrified Chan and Changbin because whenever Jisung thinks it’s never good

But it’s been three days since he saw you

And he’s still thinking about you and he’s kinda emo about it

Because, of course, you occupied his thoughts, the song you were playing stuck in his mind on a loop

This is so cheesy please forgive me

It was so bad that he started hearing it everywhere, it even started placing itself into his music and the lyrics he was writing somehow all revolved around love

He’d sit there for hours writing lyrics until he realized all of it in some way tied back to you

It was bothering him

Like a lot

So now it’s been a whole six days, and trust me he’s been counting and he thought he could take it,,, you know not see you,,,

Until he’s had enough

He needed to go see you again otherwise he felt like his head would explode

And it wasn’t because he liked you or anything,,, he just wanted to see you so he wouldn’t write any more music about you,,,,, because this was just SuPeR gRoSS

So he went to the same hall, the same room, the same time, and there he saw you

Still working on the same part of the piece

It was just as beautiful as the first time he heard it and he honestly was in awe of how your hands moved across the piano as though they were as light as air

Anyone even from a million kilometers away could tell you were frustrated with this part

He wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to worry because it was beautiful

He wanted to just go in there and tell you that your playing is amazing and hold your hands and just comfort you

But he just couldn’t say anything

And he could always say something, he never stopped talking

And his heart was still doing the same flippity flop screaming thing in his chest

Big surprise, i know

But then,,,, he had a genius idea,,,, like spectacular,,,, like nobel prize winning idea,,,

“Maybe if i see them all the time,,,,, my heart will get used to it and it won’t flippity flop anymore :’D,,,,,,”

wow ,,,, genius i know you don’t have to tell him

So instead of saying anything, or ignoring you any longer, he decided

I’m just gonna come here and watch them play every day because as long as I see them and never talk to her,,,, eventually whatever weird heart thing i have will go away !!!!!

So that is exactly what he did

Every single day for the next coming three weeks,,, he would disappear during lunch and go and watch you play

Changbin and Chan were getting suspicious but they never asked,,, so Jisung thought he was so slick you know

So it’s been weeks of him doing this

It’s now around the end of February, and he planned on doing smth for Valentines day,,,

Not,, because he liked you or because it was valentines day, but because he just,,, somehow planned to do it for February 14th

He was really counting on his genius 10000+ IQ plan to work

But, surprise surprise, his plan was failing

It was almost as though he liked you APPRECIATED !! your playing even more after seeing you play :))))))

Just seeing you just so cutely hunched over the piano

It made his heart hurt wiTH APPRECIATION FOR YOUR ARTISTRY NOT L O V E

Haha obviously,,,,,, not love,,,,,, who even said that y’all hear summ ????

And he realized maybe he just ReaLLY REALLY reAllY wanted to be your friend !!

Really really close friend !!

And that’s why he wanted to talk to you !! And hold you !! Like F R I E N D S do !! haha !!

And you know this mentality was really working great, until one Thursday

It was near the beginning of March when it was getting a little warmer and all that green good grass was kinda appearing from under the snow,,, these little white flowers peeking out from under the melting snow and it was just so pretty that day

And all Jisung could think about was how beautiful you would look today outside

Holding his hand

In a totally PLATONIC and FRIENDLY way because he obviously just liked you as a friend

And maybe today he would tell you how much he wanted to be your friend :D

But that lunch you just didn’t show up for half an hour ??

He was confused,,,, like really confused

And also concerned ?? where were you,,, you were always here on time,, he even makes sure to show up 5 minutes after your usual arrival time so he could calmly sit outside of the door without getting caught

But today you weren’t there and he was about to leave and chicken out until he felt a hand on his shoulder

‘AHHHHHHHHHHHHH’

Istg he jumped like fifty feet in the air

“Hey,, you’re that guy who always sits outside when I practice !!! Han Jisung right ?? Sorry I was late I needed to talk to Mr.Park about a science assignment I have that’s due next week,, ”

Jisung.exe has stopped working

First of all,,,

yoU kNeW ?!?!?! and he thought he was so slick

Not only that you knew his nAMe and apologized for being late ??? did you like ??? cARE ABOUT HIM A LITTLE BIT

And he also just,,, kinda loved the way you just said his name

It made him UwU in ways he didn’t understand

In a friENDLY WAY

Oh who was he lying to at this point

Maybe he did like you just a LITTLE more than like a friend would like a friend

so what,,, sue him,,,,

He was so caught up in the million and five thoughts that were racing through his mind that he almost forgot to respond, so he managed to choke out the following charming and very expressive line:

“U-uh you know my name ???”

,,,,,good one Jisung,,, real smooth,,,,

You let out a light giggle and just kinda looked at him with this really soft expression

“Ofc I knew !!! I heard your foot tapping every single day and you also sat in front of an open door so,,, I kinda saw you the first day,,,”

SORRY NOT ONLY HAS JISUNG.EXE STOPPED WORKING HE JUST CRASHED ??? LIKE EXPLODED

Your hand,,,, was still on his shoulder,,, and you giggled again,,,,, how are you,,, so cute

Little did he know you freaked out the exaCt same way you saw him the first time in the hallways with his eyes closed and head leaning against the lockers

And not only that,,, he was just super pretty,,,

With the winter light perfectly hitting his face

His jacket slightly too big and it loosely drooped over his shoulders

I’m actually ruining myself imagining this wow thanks m e

So when you finally asked around after a couple days one of your friends told you who he was

The Han Jisung

The resident bad boy at your school, who liked to get into fights and allegedly also liked to play around with peoples hearts

Which didn’t exactly scare you well maybe it did a little bit but we’re not here to expose ourselves

First of all you’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s probably just like any of us ?? people just kinda put him on a pedestal so you felt like you didn’t really need to treat him differently from anyone else

And with every time that he would sit outside of your practice room and listen you felt a little bit of that fear melting away because when he looked so relaxed and so pretty that his face just screamed UwU

But you gotta play it cool reader,,,because you’re slick and all that,,, you know

So you just kinda turn around and head into the music room without saying anything else

Which again gave him shock number 37429387129837 of the day

He was expecting you to do something,,, say something,,,,, but instead,,,,

You just smiled at him, and turned back to into the room, now sitting at the piano bench

He was confused

And mayhaps just the littlest bit disappointed

He knew that everyone knew him, and that’s usually not the kind of reaction he gets, usually he gets a whole OH mY iT’s HaN jiSuNg scream or an angry disgusted look from people who didn’t like him

But no

Not you

Yet, what could he do

He was going to just,, sit back down in the hallway in his usual spot, or maybe just get up and leave since his cover has been blown and you probably think he’s super creepy

When your voice called out for him inside of the room

“Are you gonna come in or what?”

A small smile spread on his face as he stood up, and he noticed you had already set up a chair for him next to you at the piano

“So,,,, do you like classical music?”

“Um,, not really,, no.”

“Then,, why did you sit outside every day ??”

You asked confused, your eyebrows slightly furrowing staring at him with intent

And he just found that so cute

So so so cute

So cute that it just made any confidence he had just disappear

“I-I justreallylikethewayyouplayitsoundsnice.”

He just really wanted you to stop looking at him like that it was going to make him actually just explode

You gave a breathy laugh at his cute antics,,, what was there not to like about this boy,,, I mean what a softie

Maybe he wasn’t too bad, ya know

Nothing to be afraid of

“You wanna hear me play one of my favorite songs?”

Jisung nodded his head, his hair lightly flopping on his forehead, kinda covering his eyes

Oh how bad you wanted to brush it out of his eyes and just pinch his cheeks but, alas, it shall not happen

Or will it ;);););;;;))))))))

So you with a light inhale you began playing on of your favorite pieces, it was strong and domineering, with an edge of superiority

If ya wanna check it out it’s actually one of my favorite pieces it’s Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in G Minor, Op. 23, No. 5

As soon as you started, Jisung was already in a trance, the way your hands moved, the sound of your breath hitching every huge chord or octave jump

Damn Jisung was whipped

When you smiled at him after you finished the piece

With your eyes so bright, finally breathing normally again, and just a light pink blush that swept across your face

He felt his heart beat fast again

But this time

Mayhaps he didn’t want to run away

“So, what did you think? Did you like it?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you like classical music maybe a little bit more now ??”

You asked with just the biggest grin on your face

“Hmm,, no i don’t think so,,” Jisung responded with the cheekiest smile known to mankind

“Then,,, I think you’re gonna have to come back here tomorrow so I can change your mind about that” ;)));))))))

WOWOW,, alright reader do y’all ever get tired of being so cute ??

As you continued playing the marvelous thought dawned upon Jisung

So maybe he did like classical music just a little bit more now

And,, maybe his heart beat faster with every second you looked at him

And maybe that feeling is not as bad as a thing as he thought it would be

Maybe it’s actually just the littlest bit nice

Just a little bit

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crowsent · 6 years ago

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Aspect Of Winter

Let me preface this by saying that I will be biased. Any and all words coming from my mouth, typed onto this screen with my ratchet fingers, will be heavily inclined to sing good praises of this book. For two main reasons. One: it’s a gift from a darling friend of mine. Two: it’s fucking gay and my queer ass rejoices.

But that aside, READ THIS BOOK. READ IT. MAKE YOUR LIFE RICHER AND READ THE BOOK.

It is so damn good. But! Before I bust out the magnifying glass of unnecessarily big words I definitely googled to sound as extra as I physically possibly can, here’s a brief synopsis of the book.

It follows the main character, Feayr, a high-school senior who, for the sake of literally everyone, goes by Fay. For some reason, he has magical powers that enable him to essentially wield winter like his own personal mallet where everything in the world can be a nail. He’s also hella fucking gay.

Because of his powers, Fay doesn’t really feel like he fits in with normal people. Cue Janus University. It’s a magical school for people with magical potential and is essentially Fay’s ticket to having a life and a place for himself surrounded by other people like him. So he leaps on that train of opportunity with all the grace of a dying elephant and kicks off the story.

There’s magic that’s done in a very unique way, unlike Harry Potter, or Carry On, or some of the other books with magic that I’ve read. Very fresh and new. Lots of mythological creatures as well from all over the world, not just ones with Hellenic or Gaelic origins. There’s a fuckton of shit to read and enjoy and consume like the word devourer I am.

Read the book. Please read it. It is so good. I wanted to cry a few times. Read it.

Now. Onto the magnifying glass! Beware spoilers!

First thing about the book is the syntax. Easy to read, easy to understand, no less compelling. It also helps that Tom Early, the author, has such a great sense of humour. I had to put the book down to keep myself from laughing because holy shit. There are some great moments in this book. So much so that writing down all my favourite quotes would take more than one post.

It helps that Fay is hilarious in his own right. My queer ass just understands him so much. I relate to this man on so many levels and if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in the room and then myself. He’s so awkward and adorable!!!!! But. Honestly. I kind of feel bad for him.

One. His school has dick bitch homophobes who constantly tell him that he’s not worthy of anything. And, honestly, that hit hard. I’m fortunate enough that I wasn’t harassed like that in my earlier days. I’m a little more hardened now, and more than willing to throw hands, but if I heard that when I was younger, I would break.

It’s so sad seeing Fay struggle with his sexuality and try to carve a place for himself in a world that obviously fights back against him. Personally, I think that him wanting to go to Janus is a parallel to him wanting to be accepted as he is. A way to find someplace to belong, with people like him, so he would feel more normal and less weird. But that might be a stretch.

And while Fay has this awkward, shy side to him, he also has something much darker. Infinitely darker. Like. A piece of his soul dark. Kind of suspected it in the scene with the dullahan where the thing tries to take his soul but gets turned into an ice statue and shattered into a million bits instead.

That interaction paved the road for all the future dark things that Fay has the potential to do. And the things he DOES do, later on near the end of the book. It ties in nicely, subtle enough that the scene with Aria fucking floored me, mouth reaching for the floor, eyes wide like dinner plates. But it wasn’t out of the blue. There were enough hints that got my head gears whirring like the cogs of a dying clock. There were pieces for me to put together and holy shit did I fit them together. There’s so much that I sat there for a good few moments muttering “what the fuck” while I pictured Fay ripping off Aria’s wings.

It is such an intense moment in the book.

But the thing I love most about Fay is that he acknowledges his shortcomings. He KNOWS that he lets other people fight his battles for him. He knows that he doesn’t do a very good job of communicating his feelings to other people (like with Tyler and that whole spiel about him dragging Tyler into the magic world) and here’s the best part.

HE TRIES TO FIX IT. He sees what he lacks, and does his fucking best to fix it.

First encounter with the homophobes and Fay freezes, lets them have their words and their jabs, and walks off meekly with his head down. Some reflection later, and he FREEZES one of the homophobe’s lips together and walks away with his head high. Fucking proud and happy.

And after Tyler pointed out that Fay wasn’t communicating that good, Fay does what any good boyfriend (and person) should do and ACTUALLY COMMUNICATES. I fucking can’t. I am incapable of canning. This boy is so precious.

Of course, an equally precious child is Sam. I lowkey aspire to be her. One, the no-nonsense attitude that she isn’t afraid to show everyone. Two, the fact that literally everyone in school knows she can kick their collective asses and she knows it. Three, she has such a fun personality with her own little quirks that I just die on the inside.

If I met Sam when I was in highschool, I would be fucking gay for her. And in the books, Fay mentions, on multiple occasions, the crowd of men AND women flocking to Sam. Just a nice touch that I adore.

Sam is essentially both brains AND brawn. She’s fierce, she’s smart, she managed to make a simple spell that makes a Minor Orb of energy into a damn fucking shield she’s not afraid to use as a means to bash heads in.

And she’s an artist. Who draws. A lot. And I just. Sam feels so real to me and I am so taken with her character.

Of course, she has her flaws too. One that stood out to me was the fact that she can’t seem to back down from a fight. Sure, sounds like an inconsequential thing, but it was a crisis of character for her when she lost BECAUSE she didn’t back down.

She had an entire thing about her mom not being proud of her because she wasn’t good enough and I just choked.

Of course, there’s Tyler. A jock-type who happens to be bi. Reminded me a lot of Cooper from One Of Us Is Lying. Except. Tyler’s not exactly in the closet. He knows what he is and is proud of that and honestly fucking bet.

He doesn’t take shit from anyone too, and isn’t afraid to hold his ground if he needs to. Like. He stood up to Sam in a parking lot early on in the book. At this point, it has already been established that Sam is hell incarnate and is not afraid to kick someone’s teeth in. Sam can do a no hands running leap over a fence!!!

And Tyler stood his ground and looked her straight in the eye. Mad respect for that scene, honestly. The way it’s written makes it so that Tyler doesn’t back down, but he also doesn’t disrespect Sam.

More mad props to Tyler is that Fay is his first relationship with a guy. And he powers through. Sure, he’s nervous, but he still asked. Honestly, more than I could say for myself. It takes a great deal of courage to ask someone out, even more so if it’s the first date.

Tyler is goals tbh. He willingly follows Fay into battle knowing the risks because he doesn’t want to lose Fay. He struggles with his parents getting a divorce, has a lot of his own personal issues that can and will tie my tongue with how much he just continues moving forward. And just.

This man. This man. I have so much respect and feelings for this man. He’s kind and considerate and I just can’t.

While these three are the main characters, there’s a bunch more that Early gives life to.

Aiden, for instance, only appears for a few scenes but damn is he complex. At first, I was all: hot guy. Accent. Foreign. Hot. Holy shit. Then, after the attack on Fay’s home, I switched to “what the fuck?” “what the fuck????” “bitch what the fuck!??!?!??” And THEN, he became more like a rival than an antagonist and just. I can’t.

Good characters are honestly my driving force for reading literally anything, but the plot and mechanics is strong in the book as well.

As I mentioned earlier, the magic is unique. There’s the words but it’s not actually said in the book what those words are. But it doesn’t even matter because you see the characters and how they respond. How the magic responds to them,

There’s a whole scene where Sam and Fay try out spells, figure out what they do, and what’s compatible with them. Spells have compatibility. I really enjoyed the fact that magic in this universe seems alive, ancient, and more than just a hand wave. It feels like it’s part of the caster.

Sam’s minor orbs, for instance, is different from Fay’s. Fay’s looks like a damn snowball, while Sam’s doesn’t. Same spell, different casters = different lookin spell. Wards too. Sam’s ward is standard. Fay’s turns everything that hits the ward into ice. Again, same spell but because the people casting them is different, it changes. It’s a nice touch and makes the world itself come to life.

Fight scenes aren’t prevalent in the early half of the book, but holy shit does things go from 0 to 100 real quick. Aria’s first fight was brutal and I just practically vibrated with excitement when that happened. Motherfucking art.

The entire book is filled with scenes like that, actually. Made me stop, rethink my life decisions, praise every god that I managed to exists in a universe where Aspect of Winter is a thing. I love it. Can’t wait to read the next book (when I get my hands on it) and can’t wait for the third book to come out.

One scene in particular hit me with a mountain of questions and elicited a chorus of holy shits. Felt like I was about to sing Heathers Fight For Me. Right at the very end. I can quote it because it was seared into my very brain.

Bit of context.

The thing with Fay’s very soul bearing some part of winter? Yeah, that was how he managed to chill everything, and make his own ice sculptures whenever he wants. The thing that killed the dullahan. That thing that is such an integral part of him.

It was sealed.

No more ice magic.

Fay described it as feeling EMPTY.

So, you’d think that after being sealed away, the ice wouldn’t manifest anymore right? Whatever thing is inside Fay would stay there and not be a danger to him or to others anymore, right? Fucking wrong. The very last line of the book read as follows:

“Behind me, the stones on the beach were covered in a thin layer of frost.”

Like. Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!! Either the seal broke, or it wasn’t strong enough.

(Didas is also a shady bitch and I don’t trust him but I don’t think he’ll endanger the lives of everyone quite so easily.)

Either way, winter is fucking coming and I am fucking terrified.

#book review #reading ramble #my shit #aspect of winter #seasons rising

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