#i need to censor very silly words in order to my posts appearing to public

[tae-shimura-is-my-wife]

!Long post!

Ulquiorra and Orihime relationship didn't started as the cutest or nicest thing ever and i can recognize that, but i don't ship them because he kidnapped her (by Aizen's order) or for saying distateful things to Ori.

Ulquiorra it's not a human, he doesn't have moral and lives in a cruel world, which makes sense of why he's so nihilistic, Ulquiorra didn't treat her like a princess at the start and tried to break Ori spirit, but at the moment she didn't acted like anyone else he got surprised and then wanted to understand her and what she is feeling, she literally changed his world view! Only with her feelings Ori made Ulquiorra, a hollow, a "bad creature" question everything what he thought was right.

Ulquiorra not only tried to understand her, but also was slowly chaging his behaviour to her, especially after he listened to her crying because of him, he even protected Ori from Ichigo's attacks when she wasn't necessary to Aizen anymore.

That's the reason why i don't feel uncomfortable, because despite they having a rowdy start, Ulquiorra a corrupted soul was willing to understand and change for Ori. No she didn't fixed him or need to, Ori didn't forced him to anything! He did it HIMSELF! Kinda in a unconsciously way, but because of her!

The idea of this ship for me is them living a peaceful life together after his redemption, not this dark and edgy "omg he kidnapped her so s3xy!" or "he atormented her so many s#xual tension!". Especially because Nel is an example that not all hollows are bad! And a Hollow having a rendemption arc would be amazing c'mon!

I don't speak for everyone in the fandom, because people have different interpretations, but this is how i view them.

This is why they often paralled to Beauty and the Beast, a nice and kind girl changed Beast worldview and willing to change his behaviour, because of her! She didn't fixed him, he did it himself! And after he become a actually good person, he could live a wonderful life by her side.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Jensen was, once again, on Rosenbaum’s podcast; he had been on it last year it was a really good interview if you haven’t heard it I highly recommend it I also recommend checking out this new/more recent appearance it’s up for free on youtube I’ll leave a link at the end of this post in case you wanna check it out. I will say they don’t talk about the content of the final two episodes - this came out today (edit: yesterday, Sep 8th, since i’m posting after 12am) but the interview happened when the boys were starting their Canada quarantine -  so if you’re looking for info regarding the final episodes of the show you’re not gonna find it here, however, just like with the first time he was in the podcast, if you wanna hear two people who have known each other for a while talk then check it out. This was a bit more structured imo than the first time he was on the podcast. 

I, personally, am glad Jensen was on the podcast again because I really enjoyed his first appearance in it and I like Rosenbaum’s more laid back interview that’s more like a conversation style I think he gets people to open up more than they usually would in a more formal interview. 

There were some things that stood out to me so this is going to be a semi-recap type opinion post. Also, for the sake of convenience, from henceforth Michael Rosenbaum will be referred to as MR. 

- Even before the interview starts there’s something I loved and it’s MR saying/stating that j2 are the leads of the show, thank you MR for knowing what so many in this fandom fail to ❤ 

- Jensen spend a good chunk of this interview being fond over Jared and making them sound super married, and it started right at the beginning around 4 minutes in when after mentioning that some changes have been done to the final two epi scripts and that there were some things they could no longer do due to covid, MR - for some reason....(do you know something rosenbaum 👀😂) - goes “like you and jared can’t make out” and Jensen without missing a beat replies that corona or no corona he and Jared are making out...😏

- After some, actually pretty cool talk about how things are currently working bts and such, Jensen, once again, talks about Jared. MR and him were having a conversation about some changes that have been made for filming due to covid including the longer lunch breaks which turned the conversation on to food on set and MR asked if there was some go-to that catering knew to make for him like when he arrived on set in the morning so of course Jensen replied by talking about what Jared usually has for breakfast on set which is a breakfast burrito and he couldn’t resist mentioning the fact that Jared and him bicker about it because Jared likes to say he doesn’t eat breakfast to which Jensen points out the burrito and Jared insists that it doesn’t count- they sound so married I can’t fucking deal. Also, I love Jensen’s...fond laugh when he mentions that he and Jared get into “arguments” about it, he’s so soft for his boy 🥰  When he does get around to answering the question of what he usually gets he once again brings up the burrito, he says he usually gets breakfast on his way to work, a coffee and a simple, breakfast sandwich...so when he goes to the studio he won’t be tempted to go to catering and order a giant breakfast burrito. I wonder how many times they’ve argued over that damn burrito 😂

- MR asked Jensen if, after 15 years, he and Jared have their ups and downs and annoy the shit out of each other or if they’re like ‘I love him’ all the time. Jensen replied that over 15yrs there are moments when he’s like ‘I don’t need to see him right now’ but that for the most part the majority of the time “they’re buddies hanging out”

- One of the most interesting parts comes after MR asks who has the shortest fuse on set. And, Jensen, unsurprisingly to me, replies that it’s Jared who has the short fuse. I say unsurprisingly because while we as a fandom have gotten used to seeing Jared being silly, kind, sweet and caring to the point where some think of him as completely helpless, he can actually be very serious and professional, and I’ve always been of the thought that he is sweet up to a point reach that point and you’ll be in trouble. So, I wasn’t surprised to hear Jensen say Jared is the one with the short fuse, I also wasn’t surprised by him say that he likes to light Jared’s fuse, or that he knows how to get under Jared’s skin. 

Jensen also said that his and Jared’s frustrations tend to line up, so if something isn’t working or frustrating he’ll quickly bring it up to Jared or Jared will quickly bring it up to him; he also knows how depending on the severity whether Jared will get wound up and heads will roll or whether he’ll be able to diffuse the situation. That’s...a lot to unpack. Him saying that if something ain’t working or is frustrating they’ll quickly bring it up to one another makes me think of all the times they’ve said that they made each other a promise back in s1 to never let things escalate between them to the point it did when they had that big fight back then, it’s kind of in the same line but like because of him saying depending on the severity and if heads will roll it also sounds like he’s referring to maybe problems with a crew members or something maybe someone stepping out of line (which actually later on he does say they have had some situations over the years where new people will come in like guards and not treat their crew member the right way) and like just them having each others backs at work and protecting each other. Also, I think it says a lot about how well Jensen knows Jared that he knows whether Jared is going to snap about something or if he’ll able to calm him down. And it sounds like he’s the one in charge of cooling Jared down if something does happen that winds him up. 

He also said the few times that he has snapped Jared tends to be behind him ready to help with the insults if need be in others words Jared has his back. 

He also mentioned that there have been situations where they’ve had new people come in and not treat other crew members well so he and Jared have had to step in and let that person know the behavior that is expected of them, that makes me respect them even more like it’s no surprise spn truly is their show and for years guest stars have praised them specifically, for the environment that they have created and maintained on set- the way Jensen puts it is that they have had to put their producer hats on that they don’t actually own, I’ll forever be bitter that they never got a seat at the writer’s/producers table because they fucking deserve producer credits for this show with all the work they put into it that goes beyond acting in it. [timestamp]

- MR pretending to be Jensen: “you know Daneel- your wife”. I don’t know why this made me loose my shit, there’s just something hilarious about MR bringing up D and pointing out to Jensen that he’s talking about his wife as if Jensen had forgotten who he was married too 😂 (although considering how many times Jensen said Jared’s name and the whole making out thing I can’t blame MR for thinking Jensen had forgotten, silly rosenbaum he didn’t forget that’s why he kept talking about jared 😜)

- Jensen gave a cool funfact! Originally, the production wanted to get Bruce Campbell to play present-day John, back in s1, since JDM wasn’t that much older than the boys but for some reason or the other they weren’t able to get him so they decided instead to gray up JDM a bit and have him play an older version of himself! I wish Bruce Campbell would have appeared on the show because that would have been awesome but I’m glad they kept JDM playing John, I can’t imagine anybody else bringing that character to life. 

- Another interesting moment- or I guess not really interesting just something that stood out to me is that when MR asked if it had been hard to isolate and quarantine with D and the kids for 5 months Jensen said that it had been hard but he and D had a solid partnership, friendship, relationship....instead of just saying marriage. Which encompasses those three words. He went with three words that could be used to describe a relationship with a romantic partner, or just a friend which actually- it sounded less like he was talking about his wife and more about a friend who he’s raising his kids with. 

- They talked a little bit about Jensen’s album with MR even playing a bit of it and praising Jensen for his voice 🥰

- At the end Jensen opens up a bit about his mental health and how quarantine affected it and while he doesn’t go into detail he does say his kids kept him from falling into a depression and that there were days where he found himself lost. 

I am going to sound like a little bit of a *censored* because while he was talking about this at one point he mentions how his kids give him purpose and push him to find something to do and he starts listing things and one of them is making the kids dinner, setting them up with a movie then having a date in the kitchen with his wife which got a snort out of me because a couple months ago he did the How Are You Today interview and said he and D hadn’t gone on a date in months and yes, you could make the argument that he meant gone out as in to a restaurant but it sounded like he meant in general so when he brought that as an example of something he could do I just went *snort* yeah right. That being said, I think he brought that up more as an example than anything else but it did make me go ‘sure jan’. 

That moment aside, I think this might be the first time I’ve seen him open up about his mental health and struggles he might be having with it, I’m proud of him for talking about it even though it does seem like a topic he doesn’t feel fully comfortable sharing with the public which is completely valid.

Jensen on Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum September 8th 2020

[tumblunni]

Huh! An Idea!

Hey I just heard about a very cool-seeming anime called (I think?) Rehibilitaion Of An MMO Junkie! It seems really nice cos its one of those stories about hikkomori (I think thats the japanese word for it?)- depressed people who stay at home all day and are socially anxious about going out in public. LOL RELATEABLE, AMIRITE? no but seriously beyond just Jokes, this is a very sad modern manifestation of a timeless mental illness, and i know these feelings well and i wish people could have less stigma about this and instead just give these people the help they need. And that’s why i love this anime concept, cos its a sympathetic take on one of these people as a protagonist, and how videogames as escapism can be A Good Thing and how long distance relationships Are Also Good. Like wtf, subverting all the cliches at once?? Its a really cute looking romance story of her meeting a guy online via vidjagaems, and their love being absolutely real and pure, and it rekindling her will to live and helping her find the courage to take more risks in real life and start the road to recovery. And then they work thru all their various issues as a couple and meet up in real life and have a happily ever after! :D

Now okay, that sounds really cool and I ABSOLUTELY want to watch this show and I will make more posts about it when I do! But also it gave me a bit of a story idea so i’m gonna ramble!!!!!

Okay so kind of a wasted potential thing here is how it has a plot about the two halves of the couple playing as the opposite gender online and like.. nothing is done with it? Nothing really creative or relevant to like.. gender. It just seems like a weird way they could invoke LGBT imagery but technically not be LGBT I guess? Like neither character is trans or has any deep reason for playing that character except ‘my fave colour is pink and people would make fun of me if they knew i was a dude’ and ‘i wanna play a hot guy cos i was kinda lonely and drunk when i saw this MMO’. But then a lot of stuff about it kinda feels like the writers were.. not predjudiced against LGBT or anything?? like the lady protag has NO angst about getting a crush on a seemingly female player, it seems perfectly acceptable in-universe and nobody even mentions homophobia. And there’s a pair of characters that for all extents and purposes looks like a gay couple for half of the game its just like a footnote that one of them is female in real life. So like I don’t know if this was someone being overly careful to censor stuff while still hinting at it, or like if it was never intended to look LGBT and it was all a weird accident?? But anyway thats why it made me go WTF THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH POTENTIAL IN AN LGBT MMO ROMANCE and hey here we go!

THE IDEA TIME what if there was an anime about someone who plays a (presumed) cis dude in an mmo who is actually a trans dude irl? so you could have the same plots about keeping a secret and having a big difference between real and internet personas, but also it could be a wish fullfillment persona and the plot could be less about ‘i’m lying about myself’ and more about ‘the only place i can be the real me is online’. And how sad that is and then how triumphant it could be at the end to be able to be himself in the real world too! and also like... its already coincidental enough that two people would fall in love in an mmo and then end up to be living in the same neighbourhood in real life. so if this anime has me have to believe that silliness, its not too silly to say that two trans people could bump into each other in an mmo! have a trans man and a trans woman who meet as their online personas without knowing either of them is trans, and then their adventures online forming their relationship, learning about each othr, and like meeting a bunch of other LGBT players and forming a guild to fight discrimination in the mmo community?

Also it could be interesting to maybe combine this with the ‘trapped in an mmo world’ genre? Like it’d be extra cool to be a trans dude who’s like.. one of the only people who doesnt want to escape the MMO world. And people could think he’s just a childish jerk who’s addicted to the fantasy life, not knowing about his secret reason he loves this new life. So maybe his personality could be a very ordinary and cute looking dude whose personality is like.. absolutely fearless monster battle man! Like everyone else’s mmo avatars are all super idealized cliche buff and hot people and his is just as close as he could get to his real self but post transition. So he’s five foot tall and chubby and has big ol soulful dragon ball Z krillin eyes and then his job class is something unfitting like gladiator or barbarian with an axe twice his body size! And then in retrospect that’s the most cliche masculine class so maybe the female lead could be a not cliche feminine class, so it doesnt seem like I’m making any statement? cos ‘youre not trans if you dont act stereotypically your gender’ is a real issue within the community, sadly. Oh! Maybe! Maybe theyre both buff classes! But like he could be a tank type that protects his allies and she’s just a regular warrior with no extra functionality. Or another DPS class like thief or black mage? But I like the idea of two very shy and adorable people who both prefer buffness, and then having kind of a badass hero role amoungst their guild and the plot itself. Like, winning the actual battles against bosses is less of a challenge than conquering their various real life worries and being emotionally ready to return home at the end of the journey. Its like a slice of life hiding as an action show! Except you still do see action, its just all comparatively effortless like one punch man. Oh and maybe while male lead made his avatar look just like himself but post transition, female lead’s avatar is kind of an exaggerated ideal stereotypical female thing? Because she’s self concious about being very tall and not very curvy and stuff, even post transition. And like she’s angsting about being forced into further cosmetic plastic surgery that she doesn’t really want, to get a body that she doesn’t really want, but feels like she HAS to have. Like maybe she has some sort of friend in real life who’s like a Fedora Wearing Fake Nice Guy who keeps trying to get her to give in and date him like ‘you’ll never get anyone else’, and trying to make her change herself. Negging champion of utter hateability!

And then female lead could be kind of a mentor role to male lead because she’s post transition, and motivates him to believe that someday he’ll be able to transition too and he doesn’t need to stay trapped forever in a fake world in order to be himself. And he could also be the same mentor role to her because he’s like... happy? Well, obviously he isn’t 100% happy because that’s his whole problem, but he doesn’t have the same social anxiety issues and he’s more confident in his anxiety without worrying that he’s wrong and he really is a girl, etc etc. Like he’s at peace with being trans and his obstacle is just feeling like he’ll never pass successfully without surgery, and never be able to get that surgery. It took him ages to even get on HRT, possibly because of something like being trapped in an abusive family that didnt aknowledge his gender? or possibly just because of being in a country where he’d need a lot of money to get the treatment he needs, or because of struggling to find a good doctor? So anyway now he’s just started HRT and he expected everything to be okay now, but he’s getting frustrated how long it’s taking to have the amount of visual change he needs to be respected by his coworkers and stuff, and now he’s had some sort of other money emergency and he may not be able to get top surgery in the end. So at the time of starting this MMO he was really un-optimistic about his future and looking for an escape. And she was looking for a similar escape because she didnt have any support group while transitioning, and had got trapped into an abusive relationship with this other dude that was making her feel like a fake woman who’d never be loved by anyone except him. So she was considering giving in and falling into his trap, and that’s her reason to be terrified of going back to the real world... And so they both are all OH MY GOD YOURE SO AMAZING I’M SO TRASH about each other, and they help teach each other two different aspects of self love that they were missing, and they make a bunch of other friends in the LGBT community, and generally find the love and support they always needed! And then in the end they could go back to the real world and move in together and slap negging man in the face, and keep in touch with all the other guildmates and create a better community for all queer folks playing this game! Woo! And also maybe the final scene could be like ‘wow we havent seen you guys for ages’ ‘yeah we were so busy with the wedding, we couldnt play!’ and then the guild’s wedding gift to them was saving up for a rare ingame item that lets you re-customize your character, and female lead makes one that looks closer to her real life appearance cos now she’s happy with herself! and then we pan out and see that male lead now also looks totally identical to his ingame self, and he did manage to transition in the end! ...and then i dunno, cliche anime everyone looks at the camera and jumps and the theme tune plays, lol