#i need the motivation this singular beat is giving me

[halfdeadwallfly]

I now associate The Chain with ofmd in the same highly emotional way that I associate Somebody to Love with good omens, and it's seriously very weird in both cases

[vibratingskull]

Hello, hello. I am obsessed with your stories .

I would like to ask you to write a Thrawn x f!reader . Thrawn is in love with the reader, and she refuses him. but she is actually very much in love with him. She believes she would never come first for him and that even she will be expendable to him should it come to that. Which is why she refused him.

Thank you my dear ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I am sorry for the delay

Thrawn x F!reader

tags : misunderstanding, heart to heart, love confession, (kinda?)hurt/comfort

Your heart is pounding. 

Peacefully seated at his desk, Grand Admiral Thrawn analyzes your latest work. You worked your ass off on these data, crossing all of those dates, GPS coordinates, vids information, and alien propaganda speeches to FINALLY locate the hideouts of those rebels! But you fucking did it! 

You’re not the Chimaera’s Commander for nothing! 

You were so much lower on your latest ship, underestimated and underappreciated. You made one singular mistake in the entirety of your career! And it earned you a transfer to the Chimaera, under then Vice Admiral Thrawn’s command, where a lot of the outcasts of the Navy ended up. A sign of shame and failure, being put under the only Alien of the Navy was worse than being demoted or laid off for some. 

But very quickly 

The tendance shifted. 

Thrawn has a natural talent : to find and refine others’ strengths, like a jeweler carefully polishes a precious gemstone. People who were judged useless under others’ orders suddenly started to flourish and gave good results, incredibly good results even ! Their enthusiasm and motivation crushed at their former posts reappeared, stronger than ever ! 

Thrawn took the losers he was given, nurtured their strong suits, and turned them into one of the most efficient crews the Empire ever had ! 

Commodore Faro and you were prime examples of Thrawn’s strong management talent and leadership. Diminished on other ships, unstoppable on the Chimaera ! 

And when Thrawn reached the rank of Grand Admiral in the record time of a single decade, all the snake tongues were forced to recognize his undeniable success and tactical genius. As they always should have! 

All those factors now make the Chimaera the most requested ship by ensigns and Navy workers of any field. From soldier to machinist, data scientist to engineer, to officer, all come knocking at Thrawn’s door to be part of the crew that will make History with a big H ! 

And you are one of them. Welcomed and guided by the Man himself you are part of his core team, his strongest supporter and follower. You are part of the Chimaera’s crew as you are part of a family, under Thrawn’s wise guidance. 

And… 

If you are honest with yourself and look at the bottom of your soul, the worryingly strong and fast beating of your heart might not just be because of the stress of having your work reviewed by a superior. 

But because of something else entirely... 

Something taboo, that should not exist between a Grand Admiral and his Commander of any respectable fleet. 

But you just cannot calm down your heart when you cross gaze with his shining rubies, you cannot help your blood rushing to your cheeks, the slight wobbliness of your legs, the air getting stuck in your throat when you have to speak to him. 

‘’Very good, Commander (Y/n). A remarkable job of investigation in a record time !’’ Thrawn finally declares, looking at you with a satisfied little grin, ‘’You can be proud of yourself.’’ 

‘’Thank you Grand Admiral.’’ You slightly bow your head to him with respect, ‘’Some data scientists did a wonderful job gathering all of that information, I would not have done it without their efforts.’’ 

‘’You will need to give me their name, so I can keep a closer tab on them.’’ He slowly nods in approval. 

‘’I will make you a list, Sir.’’ 

‘’Did anyone else caught your eyes ?’’ 

‘’Sir ?’’ You demand, ‘’Is it not Commodore Faro’s prerogative ?’’ 

‘’It is. It is also the prerogative of any of my officers I estimate. I value your opinion and judgment more than some of my fellow Grand Admirals, if you notice someone’s good work getting unappreciated I want you to come to me.’’ 

‘’Sir, I think you have no trouble noticing it yourself.’’ You cannot help but chuckle. 

He keeps looking at you, a tight satisfied grin on his lips, soft and found. His eyes seem to shine brighter. 

‘’What?’’ You ask before his insisting gaze, still shaken by your laugh. 

‘’Nothing. I simply enjoy hearing your laugh. It is such a delectable sound, it alleviates my stress and appeases my mind.’’ He tilts his head, focused on you. 

Your smile falters and the laugh dies down immediately. You close back on yourself, pressing your datapad against your chest. 

You cannot permit yourself such things... 

‘’With your permission, sir, I will take my leave.’’ You say, recovering your detached and professional tone, cutting short the conversation. 

His shoulders ever so lightly lower down and his smile disappears, like he is... Disappointed. But his expression remains unshakable. 

‘’Of course, Commander. You may go, I wish you a peaceful and restful sleep.’’ 

You curtly nod, murmur a ‘you too, Sir’ so low you wonder he even heard it, and exit the large office rapidly. You walk swiftly in the long and bright corridors of the Chimaera, a maze you know by heart. 

A maze you now call home. 

Your datapad pressed against your breast as to hide your sprinting heart from anyone who might cross your path you walk straight and fast, head raised high but gaze low on the floor. You gulp with difficulty trying to order your boiling mind. 

Grand Admiral Thrawn is nothing but professional, courteous, and polite. He never makes any crass comments of any kind or insinuations, the only compliments leaving his lips are praises for a work well done or a cunning attitude. 

That is all! 

Except for you. 

It has been several months now since he started to casually compliment you on... Anything really. He always found a little something to compliment you over every day. 

Always respectful and within the bounds of morality. 

He started as with anyone else, a ‘Good work’ here, a ‘Pertinent observation’ there, a ‘successful mission.’ sprinkled in. 

And one day it was ‘This new hair style compliment your features wonderfully.’ Out of the blue and with no warning. He said it casually, with his usual nonchalance and detachment, and you simply assumed he was in an exceptionally good mood to compliment someone for something so mundane and out of his usual zone of comfort. 

But this is highly unusual behavior for him!  

You never heard him compliment anyone’s hairstyle, choice of blush, or capacity to keep their uniform clean. But he started doing it for you. A little one every day, a constant stream of praise day by day... 

And if you brushed it off the first time, the second was heavily suspicious. 

He may slip off one time. But never two. 

It was intentional on his part! It must have been. 

He also started to take more caff breaks when you took one. He always appears three to five minutes after you, takes a fuming cup of caff, engages in some conversation with you, and gets back to the bridge a maximum of two minutes before you, down to the second.  

Sometimes he does not even take a single sip of his drink, preferring to speak with you about the current campaign, but mostly art, his special interest. If you wished to speak about your interests, he becomes absolutely mute. 

But he listens to you rambling attentively because when you come back to the subject a week or so later, he recalls a myriad of details of different importance with excruciating precision about anything you spoke of. 

If you are already talking to someone else, he does not insert himself in the conversation unless invited, preferring to take a seat at a table to sip his drink in complete silence. 

His gaze fixes his cup or the propaganda posters on the walls but always seems to come back to you, like you were a light in the darkness... You can feel his burning eyes on the back of your neck. But it does not feel like a burnt wound. Instead, it simply feels like... A heat source on your neck, a warm point that gently spreads on your skin... And when you spin your head in his direction to spot him, his eyes are back on his cup. 

But you do feel his warm gaze on you... 

You KNOW it. 

For some reason, he is trying to deepen your relationship. 

And while your heart pumps like a machine at that simple thought, you also know you should stifle that hope in its infancy. 

Thrawn... Is a man married to his job. War is the very purpose of his existence and he excels at it, why would he weigh himself down with a relationship? 

He either wants a short casual fling, which you would never guess was his style, or he wants something deeper... A real relationship with you. 

And those possibilities terrify you. 

When you love, you love generously, pouring your very own blood into the relationship, giving endlessly to please your partner. And it cost you a lot in the past, you were used and cast aside after countless times. So many tears were wasted for partners who only saw you as a commodity. You promised yourself to never fall for someone who does not make you their priority anymore! 

But you fell for Grand Admiral Thrawn, despite your better judgment and best efforts. 

He is a man of integrity, intelligence, charisma, and elegance, you did not feel any malice or will to hurt others in him which is surprisingly uncommon in the Navy hierarchy of the Empire.  

And he is very far from being displeasing to look at! His alien features even reinforce his natural charm, his face is harmonious and delicate with sharp intelligent eyes. 

Really, everything seems to make him a wonderful romantic partner in theory. 

But the theory doesn’t account for the first love of his life: work. 

You will never come before his first love, and as a Grand Admiral maybe you should not, but that stabs your heart.  

Once again you fell for the wrong one. 

If only you were smitten, you could manage. But the fact that he seemed to take an interest in you in return, offers you his gentle words and careful attention complicates absolutely everything! 

You should not fall for that trap again! You do not want to! 

But how to refuse such a man? How to look in his carmine gaze and stand your ground? It is demanding a will you simply do not possess, so now you run away from any new attempt from him. You respond coldly and sternly at any non-work related praises and leave the room swiftly. 

He never tries to hold you back, accepting your choice. 

That does not make it any easier for you. If you falter ONCE and give him hope that it is possible, you may fall again and hurt yourself, deeper this time. 

You survived your exes but could you survive Grand Admiral Thrawn’s love?  

Nothing is less certain. 

So you run away like a coward, feeling his fond gaze on your form. 

Never again... 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Thrawn sighs internally, his eyes fixed on the door you just exited through like a persistent image of you would appear to him if he focused on it. 

Again, you fled. 

He is used to it by now. He compliments you on anything not work-related and you shut off completely. 

What did he expect exactly anyway? Love stories between superiors and subalterns in a fleet are such a cliche of movies without any grounds in reality. He heard of some in the Ascendancy and the Empire and none ended well. 

But for some months he had that fleeting hope, that childish wish that something was possible between you two. 

He was the first surprised to realize he had feelings for you. He welcomed you under his commands as every other officer sent to him and you worked together for some time to find your strengths and give you the appropriate post for your skills. 

He was proud to see you grow and mature, witnessing your skills sharpening day by day until you wield them like a deadly blade with the utmost precision. Your true talents were revealed and your name started to be passed around and other ship captains started to court you for a transfer. 

It happens a lot. A lot of officers he trained were transferred to other fleets and he only heard good about them since then, even Commodore Faro was heavily requested by others for her next promotion, and while he would only feel pride and accomplishment to let her go lead her own forces as she deserves to, he only felt a deep and insidious cold course his flesh when your name appeared in the requests.  

At first, he rationalized it. He concluded that it was too soon for you to leave his tutelage yet, he could still teach you more before seeing you fly away. But the more transfer requests he received, the colder he felt, and the more uneasy he was. 

It was like... lacking air. Like he tried to breathe desperately but his throat was so contracted no air could reach his lungs. But those uncomfortable sensations melted in your presence. Next to you, everything felt right and natural once again, like it was meant to be.  

Slowly your grip on his being started to tighten, like a frog boiling in a pot. 

He never felt like that and it was starting to worry him. He could not let a single person have so much power over him, it would be too dangerous for his ultimate goal, but each time you appeared in his field of vision, all his worries vanished and a warm sensation spread in his chest, his heart felt wrapped in silk and everything was good again. 

And then 

The first wet dream came. 

He had some in his early teenage years when hormones did their work as for everyone else. But he always only saw a faceless, nameless figure in his arms at night. And then they just disappeared altogether, promptly sorted and locked in his well-organized mind and no further dream came to disturb his sleep. 

But that morning he was lying in bed, completely dumbfounded. His eyes wide open, fixed on the ceiling he tried to understand what that dream meant. For the very first time, he saw a face. 

Your face. 

So clearly. 

And what a dream it was... 

He observed his trembling hands for a moment, trying to make sense of all of that. Did his control over his flesh and body start to loosen after all this time? 

Was he softening up? 

He greeted his teeth and went on with his day. At that moment, he convinced himself it was lust. 

Just lust. 

Simple in theory but completely new to him, nobody ever disturbed his flesh like that before and it was quite annoying in his opinion. Obviously, it was only his problem, he could not reasonably hold you responsible for the weakness of his mind and body. He must deal with it alone and not let it disturb his focus! 

But he only had to hear your voice... 

Hear the melodic notes of your laugh... 

Admire the light in your human eyes... 

To know that he was in much more trouble than he first thought. 

It was not lust. 

It was love. 

A first for him once again, and at that point he was convinced it would never happen! Not that he would mind, honestly. Heart matters seem more troublesome than anything else... 

But you assuredly walked into his life and as assuredly took his heart from his chest to keep it with you like a lovely thief, you fondly kissing it every day with your perfect lips, making it beat faster, to the point he felt it could implode at any moment. 

That day he complimented you on your new hairstyle. Out of nowhere. He greeted you, let you know how lovely you were, and walked away without any other word.  

Why did he do that? Beats him.  

He saw you and felt the irrepressible desire to compliment you,  but the usual work praises did not feel enough to calm down the raging storm rising in his chest at that moment. 

And it all derailed from here. 

He kept the compliments coming and welcomed your disincarnated embrace in his dreams at night, craving to feel your real arms wrapping around him to hug him. 

He felt the need to follow you when you took your breaks as any minute away from you felt like death. He instigated casual conversations with you, trying to get you to open up to him. But you kept it so clean and professional; Would it be anyone else he would be thankful for that but he wants you to reveal your heart to him. 

He would take anything! Just learning your favorite color would satisfy his cravings for a month. 

You slowly relaxed around him, accepting to speak a bit about yourself, as much as it was morally acceptable for a Commander to say to her Grand Admiral. He noted every minute detail you let escape in his mind with meticulousness, creating a map of you in his head. 

He let you speak, not daring to interrupt you. He could listen to you describing paint dry. 

Of course, he knew how to stop. If you were talking to a colleague he respected your privacy, if he felt you uncomfortable at any moment he would take his leave. 

And for a time he fantasized about waking next to you in the same bed, rings shining at your fingers. And it was sweet and soft... 

But you are not receptive.  

So he buried that dream and slowly prepared to walk away from you. Each time he compliments you your face hardens and your tone gets colder and aloof. 

But for a split second... 

You bite your lips and he witnesses your heart accelerating in his infrared vision. 

And you cannot take that away from him. No matter how harshly you cut the conversation short. Those little compliments are his little pleasures, his only fancy. The only thing he allows himself to savor in secret. 

His eyes fall again on the datapad in his hand. With a gesture of the finger, he swipes the file to let appear the latest captain’s request to transfer you to their ship. 

Soon he will say goodbye to you, but at least he should make sure you get the best post possible... 

------------------------------------------------------ 

“Oh Maker...” Karyn makes her spine pop with a sigh of relief, “Today was long!” 

“Indeed.” You chuckle, “It was pretty dry and boring!” 

You both head to the bar of the officer mess hall. 

“Two beers!” Karyn orders, “I am done with work for the day! I need to relax.” 

Your shift finished 10 minutes ago, you are officially free for the rest of the day, and a fresh beer seems delectable right now! You sit next to your friend, clink your glasses, and take a large gulp with delight. 

“That’s the stuff!” You gasped. 

“True! I need to get drunk tonight or I will go crazy!” Karyn declares slamming her glass down the bar. 

You look at her with silent questions in your eyes, inviting her to speak more. She snarls, licking her white teeth. 

“I feel like the Grand Admiral is trying to slow me down.”  

“What?” You ask incredulously. 

“He interfered so I could not become Commander of Task Force 231.” She reveals, her head sitting in her hand, annoyed. 

You freeze, contemplating what she just said to you. Would Grand Admiral Thrawn truly do that? Voluntarily sabotaging his own Commodore’s career? 

No. 

You cannot believe that! 

“I am sure he had a reason. He is a fair man, you deserve to lead your own troops, maybe he has a bigger plan for you.” 

She turns her head towards you, gauging you up and down before sneering shortly. 

“I forgot who I was talking to.” 

You nudge her playfully, earning another snigger. 

“You know I am objective. Even about him!” You counter. 

“Mmmmh. Maybe you are, maybe not.” She taunts, taking another sip, “All right! I think it is time for some women talks. How things are going with your Chiss?” 

“He isn’t my Chiss, Karyn.” You remind her, “We are not together.” 

“Which is highly surprising in my opinion with how interested he is.” 

Your grip tightens around your glass, your eyes hypnotized by the ale in front of you. 

“He is not interested.” You try to assert. 

“Arh, do not use that charade with me, (Y/n)! We are both past it, he devours you with his eyes and tried an infinite amount of time to speak with you. He never showed such interest in anyone since I work under him!” 

“He is just trying to be friendly.” You recoil more on your seat. 

“Maker fricking... (Y/n)!” She starts losing patience “We both know that is bullshit. I am tired of seeing your beaten puppy look every day, talk to him!” 

“... And say what? Explain to me what I am supposed to say, ‘Sorry, I am in love with you but you’ll probably relegate me to the bottom of your priority list, so no chance?’” 

“Why do you assume he would relegate you to the bottom of his priority list?” 

You turn to her with a raised eyebrow and a tired smile. 

“Because he is a Grand Admiral and married to his job? Because if I did come before his duties that would put us all in danger and jeopardize his entire career? Because it is simply impossible? Because he will not risk his goal for a single relationship?” 

Usually, you love goal-oriented partners, but you just wish they would make some place for you in their lives and not just see you as an appliance to take advantage of. You want them to be your supporter as you are theirs, but you have been let down so many times... 

“(Y/n)...” 

You sigh. 

“It is so hard, you know? To see him every day, to feel his grip around my heart compressing it until no blood is left. I feel like I am drowning in love and despair, I feel his gaze on my skin and I go weak. He plagues my dreams every night and I wake up cold and arms empty.” 

“(Y/n)?” Karyn whispers, “Maybe you should-” 

“It just hurts so much. To have him so close, to see Thrawn every day, excelling in his career and craving he would give me the same attention... Some nights I cry in my bed because I feel so empty.”  

“Hum, (Y/n)...?” Karyn slightly stiffens. 

“But what can I do?” You put your head in your hands with a long sigh “I promised myself not to fall again and I tripped over my feet when I met him. He is the textbook definition of whom I should avoid at all costs but I fell face first in the permabeton. At that point it’s a pattern, I am searching to get hurt. I am weak... I am pathetic but I love him!” You feel sobs rising in your throat and your eyes start to get wet, “Why is it so hard? Why can’t I forget these sentiments with a snap of fingers? Why do I have to live with this? Why-” 

“(Y/n)!” Karyn shushes you with a hard whisper, gripping your shoulder to shake you. 

You turn your head to her and she designates something on the other side discreetly. You turn your head again and almost fall from your stool. 

Right there, at the other side of the bar, a fuming cup of caff in his hand, Grand Admiral Thrawn sits, perfectly calm and composed. 

But more importantly, at eavesdropping distance. 

You immediately focus back on your ale, head full and spinning. 

He heard you! 

You know he did, he always hears everything in a room! 

You are so done for! You are royally fucked! You are so... 

“Maybe he did not hear, maybe he-” Karyn doesn’t have the time to finish her sentence, you get down your stool and leave the mess hall, ditching them both without a single word. 

You need to disappear! And quickly! 

------------------------------------------------- 

Thrawn lifts his cup to his lips elegantly, peacefully sipping the scorching hot caff. 

But inside he is anything but peaceful. 

“I am sorry, sir.” Karyn Faro finally says, tensing up before her full glass. 

“What for?” Thrawn asks, putting his down delicately, eyes fixed on his cup. 

She purses her lips, clearly embarrassed and uneasy. 

“This was not planned.” She explains. 

“I know.” He simply responds, “You are not one to expose other’s affairs.” He reassures her. 

He contemplates his reflection in the dark beverage, the steam lazily rising towards the ceiling while his stomach drops low. 

Is it how you truly see him? How you perceive his personhood? Is it his true value in your heart? 

He did not intend to listen to you! He just wanted to sit in your vicinity while drinking his caff and then anonymously leave without you noticing he was even there, leaving you two speaking peacefully. He did not intend to pry in your private conversation so impolitely! 

But when he understood you were talking about him he could not help but perk his ear. 

He almost froze hearing you professing your love for him and for a split second his soul sang. 

Only for the high to crash down spectacularly with your next words. 

So this is it, then? Your choice is made and your opinion is decided. This relationship will not be? 

You will not give him even a single chance to prove his worth? 

And he will let you go without trying to correct you? 

And everything will be over without even starting. 

You will now avoid him until he accepts a transfer request and he will never see you ever again, only hearing rumors of you thriving away from him, leaving him alone and cold to face his destiny and fate? 

Without your support? 

Without the music of your voice to help him carry through? 

Without the reflection of light in your gorgeous eyes to appease his worries? 

Without the warmth of your reassuring presence at his side? 

... 

No. 

He slams his cup down and stands on his feet. 

“Sir?” Commodore Faro asks as he walks away, decided. 

He can’t. 

This is beyond him. 

This is the first time he is in love, he simply cannot let you go without at least trying to plead his case! 

This would kill him. 

He knew it was dangerous. Deep down he knew that keeping you at his side was not the tactical-sounding choice. He prophetized before that keeping you around would give you too much power over him, but he would lie if he did not admit that he hoped it would happen deep down his soul. That your grip on his heart was as strangling as it was soothing, that a brush of your hand could command his mood. 

Your power over him was nothing about hierarchy, was not wicked or dangerous like those he experienced before in the Ascendancy and the Empire. It was comforting, soothing, soft but strong. 

The kind of power he would submit to with glee because he knew no harm could ever come of it. Because that power was meant to bring you together... 

He just cannot! 

He walks deadly focused ahead, with long strides in the corridors of the Chimaera. His shift resumes in less than 5 minutes but this is the least of his worries right now! 

For the very first time in his life, work will wait. He has to clear the air with you first! 

It doesn’t take too much time for him to find you. He is quicker than you and he would not let you escape like that! 

You are walking rapidly toward your cabin to lock yourself up most probably. Seeing your back walking away from him like that infuriates him somehow, he is offended! 

“Commander (Y/n) (F/n), stop!” He exclaims with an authoritative voice. 

You shudder, but instead of obeying you pick up the pace. 

You...! 

“Commander! I order you to stop right now!” He orders louder, accelerating behind you. 

You take four more steps before giving up and stop. You remain still, back turned to him, awaiting his next commands. 

He approaches you, already regretting his order. He closes the distance between you and places his hand on your shoulder. 

You shudder at the contact and he retracts it immediately. 

“Commander (F/n)...(Y/n), I am sorry.” He finally announces after several seconds of silence and stillness, “I would like to discuss some of your words earlier.” 

“Stop.” you finally speak. 

Thrawn almost gulp at your tone 

“I beg your pardon?” 

“I said stop.” You repeat, “I do not have to hear that.” 

Thrawn squints. This is the very first time you cut him like that. This is the first time a subordinate ever cut him... 

“I can take an earful if I make a professional mistake. But that... You do not have any right to impose that on me.” You explain. 

“Turn around and face me.” He orders softly. 

Your hands roll into fists but you slowly turn toward him. You take care not to look into his eyes, preferring to focus on his Grand Admiral badge. Your lips are pressed in a thin line, displeasure clearly apparent on your face. 

Thrawn refrains from cupping your cheeks in his hands to hold you lovingly. Instead, he claps them behind his back, preparing himself for the battle ahead. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“I simply wish to talk.” He reiterates, “This is not an unreasonable demand.” 

Your nostril flares but you add nothing. 

“(Y/n), is what you said true?” He demands sternly. 

So he did hear you, as you feared.  

“Sir, this is highly unprofessional.” 

“I am aware, but I feel like we need to have this discussion.” 

“No, we do not. If you insist I will file a report for sexual harassment.” You bite back, acidic. 

You need to cut that conversation short. You need to escape. 

“With what proofs?” Thrawn tilts his head. 

The tone is not mocking or threatening, it is calm, assured, and simply factual. You both know you have nothing against him, he never tried anything against your consent and always remained within the bounds of morality. 

“We both know you will do none of that, (Y/n). You are too good to make false accusations on such a grave matter.” 

You greet your teeth as you raise your frowning gaze to meet his. 

“Am I?” 

His stern and cold expression relaxes to let appear a tight, fond smile as the glow of his eyes seems to brighten. 

“Of course. Your ethics are too strong to slander an innocent man and tarnish victims’ testimony of such a heinous crime.” 

You snarl, flashing your teeth to him. 

But you have no rebuttal. He is right. You would not do such a thing to victims who already have difficulties to have their voices heard. 

“I simply wish to clear the air and tell you my truth.” He takes another step toward you, “This is all I am asking for.” 

The smile is gone but quiet hope burns in his red eyes. 

You gulp. You told your sentiments to Karyn, but revealing them to his face, admitting them to his eyes... That would kill you on the spot! 

“I wish to hear it from you. Tell me the truth, please.” He insists with a softer tone 

Almost... begging. 

Your lungs tighten in your ribcage, preventing you from breathing correctly while your throat dries up. You open your mouth be no sound escapes you. 

“Take your time.” Thrawn invites, his eyes shining so bright you cannot see any pupils anymore. 

“What for?!” You spit annoyed, “What would ever come of that discussion anyway?! Our expectations do not coincide!” 

Thrawn seems to tense up ever so slightly at your words, like he was hurt. 

But that would mean you have the means to reach and hurt him, and you seriously doubt you do. Either way, he needs to hear it, you cannot just brush past all that like the world is a wonderful peaceful place. You both have jobs and a relationship would just complicate everything! 

“You do no-” Thrawn stops immediately, looking behind you suddenly, “Someone is coming.” 

You turn your head full of hope. Finally, your ticket to exit that predicament! 

But before you can see anyone or anything you feel a large hand grabbing your arm and pulling you. You yelp in surprise when Thrawn pulls you inside a cramped and dark room and the door slams shut behind you. 

You pull yourself together and realize you are inside a closet. A very small closet. So small Thrawn needs to press you against himself for it to hold you both inside. You gasp, your cheek pressed against his large muscular chest, his long arms wrapped around your shoulders. 

“Sir!” You whisper indignantly, “This is-” 

“Silence.” He shushes you, “They are approaching...” 

You huff but remain silent. After some seconds you can hear a group of people discussing and approaching the door. You tense up, praying no one will open it and bust you in Thrawn’s arms... 

“Relax.” He whispers with his rich deep voice, a hand coming to caress your hair to soothe you like you were a cat or something. 

“This was unnecessary, Sir!” You complain with a low voice. 

“You would have preferred we continue this private conversation with them around?” He responds deadpan. 

You growl, putting your hands on his pecs to put some distance between you, but his grip is firm around you and the closet is really confined. You abandon that idea and give up, awaiting for the group to walk away, and then you’ll rush out and sprint away from the Chiss. 

You try to calm down your beating heart, feeling Grand Admiral Thrawn’s high body temperature through his uniform, your cheek getting pleasantly warm at his contact. 

Is that... Is that his heart that you feel beating against your cheek? 

You refrain from sniggering. Of course, this is his heart, but it amuses you to realize that he does have one... He who is always so stern and cold, detached and unbothered does have a heart after all! 

You close your eyes, silently focusing on the steady drum in his chest. If they open the closet door and bust you, you cannot do anything to stop it now, no use in stressing yourself out or causing trouble in the confined space. 

Did Thrawn feel you relaxing in his embrace? A soft and deep rumble starts in his chest and throat, like a...  

“Chiss can purr?” You murmur flabergasted. 

“Indeed.” He reveals, “Pardon me, I have some difficulties keeping it at bay with you in my arms.” 

You add nothing, too shocked by this revelation. 

“It isn’t... unpleasant.” You finally admit, a bit reluctantly. 

The purr deepens at your praise and he lays his chin on the top of your head. For some second you wonder if he is about to kiss your head, but he remains like that, continuing to caress your hair, unbothered. 

“Why don’t you want to tell me the truth?” He finally asks after a minute of silence, listening to the group that seems to have stopped just before your hiding spot. 

“There is nothing to say.” 

“You revealed your sentiment to Commodore Karyn. Why revealing them to me is impossible for you?” 

You sigh longly, eyes lost in the darkness of the broom closet, trying to formulate a coherent sentence with all those sentiments and emotions raging inside of you. 

“I have been hurt in the past.” You just say. 

“And you are afraid I will hurt you the same?” Thrawn whispers with his rich voice. 

“I am not ‘afraid’ you will, I know you will.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“They did it out of commodity and maybe malice, you would do it out of necessity.” 

“I cannot imagine a situation where I would hurt you, even out of necessity.” He negociates. 

“No, it’s just...” You sigh, taking a deep breath, “I have been used before and now I want someone who would make me their priority, not just an afterthought!” 

His grip tightens ever so slightly around your shoulders and his purr stops, signifying that he is closely listening to our worries. 

“I do not plan to make you an afterthought in any capacity. If we start a relationship I will make sure to take care of you to the best of my capacities.” 

“You are a Grand Admiral, your agenda is full to the brim, and your days are packed. What kind of attention can you still spare at the end of a shift? You will drop like a fly, Sir.” 

His hand caressing your hair stops and sneaks under your chin to make you tilt your head to face him. You press your lips in a thin line as he details your face with his inquisitive gaze, unraveling your soul with his burning orbs, unclothing your heart to reveal every febrile hope and fear. 

"How can you be so sure of those claims?” He simply asks, so close you can feel his breath on your lips. 

“It is simple logic, Sir. You will never put me before your job, and you should not do it. But I need someone ready to put me first for once... Just once.” 

He releases your chin to cup your cheek with his large palm, his thumb caressing your thin skin tenderly. 

“(Y/n), I do not know what the future has in store for us, but I know I will forever regret it if I do not try with you.” He whispers, “You are right, I cannot put you before my work. But that does not mean that you should come after it. I can manage two important matters at the same time, I can take care of you while leading us to victory.” 

“A lot of exes made the same promise and they left me in the dirt when they got bored.” You simply assess, feeling tired of that charade. 

How many times did you dance that choreography already? Too many. 

“(Y/n), do you truly think I would do that? That I would waste both of our time for mindless fun and abandon you after? If I propose to you it is because I am confident in my capacity to give you everything you need. Look into my eyes and tell me: Is this how you think I am?” 

You look into his sihny eyes and sigh. 

“No... I do not think you would do that...” You concede, “You are not malicious.” 

“Then why not give us a chance?” He presses his forehead against yours, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. 

“Because... I could not survive you...” Your throat tightens as you speak. 

“What do you mean?” He demands with a soothing tone. 

“I may have been able to piece myself back together after them... But you, Sir, you would kill me. You would be my death.” You admit, lowering your tone. 

He tilts your head and reverently kisses your forehead in the secret darkness of the closet. 

“Then let me be your life. Every day I will be the force propelling you forward if you accept to intertwine your fate with mine... If you allow me to take your hand I will devote myself to you. You deserve to be loved and cared for, (Y/n) and it would be my privilege to make it my duty.” 

You sigh, tired, but lean on the warmth of his palm. 

“Promise me to think about it, (Y/n).” 

You hesitate, remembering all the tears and sleepless nights. 

But those eyes... So assured and confident, determined and reassuring... 

“... All right.” 

He brushes his nose with yours, his purr resuming. 

“I love you, (Y/n). You do not need to respond yet, just know that I adore you.” 

In the secrecy of that tight closet, you press yourself against Grand Admiral Thrawn, selfishly reveling in the love and warmth that you refuse to give back for now.  

“I do not promise anything.” You temper. 

“I know. But the fact that you agreed to consider it is enough for me. I will patiently wait for you and your response. And whatever your response may be, I will not stop loving you, even from afar.” 

You hesitate but finally wrap your arms around his chest, and think you felt his heart jolt at that, but you cannot be sure. What you can be sure, however, is the resuming of the purring. 

You do not know what the future holds for you, but right now, his embrace is the only place you want to be in.  

Even if it is selfish. 

Even if it may be the only one time you ever feel it around you. 

But maybe... 

Not. 

“If tie your fate to mine, either in love or friendship, I will devote myself to you. I promise you in this instant.” 

And he reverently kisses your forehead as to seal his words. 

@bluechiss @justanothersadperson93 @thrawnspetgoose @Thrawnalani @twilekchiss @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @obbicrystaleo @elise2174 @davesrightshoe @Holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni 

[gojos-thot-patrol]

For the jjk boys, can you please do kissing hcs? How do they like to smooch 😘

I just lover imagining how our boys love and how they express that love, however healthy (or toxic) it may be

Now Presenting....

Starring: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna

Satoru Gojo

Gojo kissed excited and passionately

Gojo kisses like he’s never kissed before no matter how many times you’ve kissed

Gojo kissed you like he can’t get enough of you, pulling you impossibly close

There's a 40% chance that he just starts giggling cause he’s so happy and can’t contain himself

He kissed you whenever he can, sometimes looking for you for no other reason than to kiss you

And he can never leave it at just one kiss. It’s always at least 2

All of that being said though his favorite place to kiss you is your forehead. 

It’s so sweet and gentle, and very intimate. Its pure

He’ll kiss your forehead to comfort himself man

He pours his sweet, excited, purest form of love into every kiss. 

You can feel his adoration for you in the way his soft lips move against yours.

He pours affection into every kiss he’d ever give you

Fluffy man, when I think of Gojo’s kisses I just think fluffy

It’s the truest form of love in his kiss, because he’s very choosy about the people he kisses

If Gojo lets infinity down long enough to kiss you, you know you’re dear to him. 

Suguru Geto

Sugurus kisses are loud in a quiet way. Let me explain

He’s more the words of affirmation type, less the touch-y feel-y type

So when he kisses you, it’s normally slow and measured

He really likes to take his time with it, and really savor it

He’s not gentle by any means, nay nay

He holds you close and tight, like holding onto you is the only thing keeping him grounded to this earth

And he’s a little desperate, a little needy.

Like he desperately needs you to feel this love in the same way he does, to justify the flurry of emotions every time he’s near you.

But he doesn’t want to say all of that outloud, that would feel too raw. 

So. he says all of that in the way he kisses you. Begging you to say ‘I love you too’ in a way he’d understand

And he tries to get all of that across in a singular, tender kiss.

It’s tender and loving but is screaming so many things he can’t force himself to say.

His kisses may not happen as often as you’d like but when they do they mean something

He finds kissing vulnerable, so feel special you get to kiss him

….Is it just me or did this turn out weirdly angst???

Kento Nanami

Nanami is probably the most casual kisser of the bunch ngl

He probably kisses you the second most out of all of them though (No one’s beating Gojo.)

He kisses you whenever he gets a chance.

Going to work, getting home from work, before bed, waking up in the morning

Almost every new part of your day is started with a quick kiss

Nanami's kisses are warm and familiar. 

Kinda like wrapping up in your childhood blanket

He almost always tastes like black tea

He doesn’t see kissing as some sort of grand statement or thesis for a relationship. He just sees it as another way to express fondness

This does not mean he is above getting lost in a good make out session though, nay nay. He believes a good make out session can make a shitty day wonderful

Loves to kiss your forehead and cheeks. 

Just any way he can to express these small forms of affection.

It’s a casual and quiet kiss yes

But it’s also intensely tender and caring and full of adoration

A friendly reminder of just how much you mean to him

Ryomen Sukuna

If I were you I would simply not kiss Ryomen Sukuna.

Choose self love instead bestie, this man is not it

Ryomens kisses are all teeth and tongues

It’s rough and dominating, He’s kissing to own you, not love you

His kisses are made up of lust and obsession.

He never kisses without a motive. That motive is almost always either to fuck you or own you

He’ll kiss you whenever there are any potential “Threats” (as he likes to call them) around, just to make sure they know you’re his

To his credit, his kisses are extremely passionate. They’re heated and in a fucked up kinda way intoxicating.

It’s hard not to get caught up in his fire when he’s kissing you like it’s the last thing the two of you will ever do

He’ll kiss any part of you he can in order to mark you. Gotta mark what's his

Sukuna’s kiss is wicked and possessive, just like how he loves, just like how he is

I do think he can and has kisses you tenderly, mostly in moments of true vulnerability

But those moments are very few and far between!

And he gets upset both with himself and you for those moments ever happening

Anyways, choose love not Sukuna my friends.

[drrav3nb]

The Nature of Do-young and Dong-soo's Relationship

To start, I want to bring up how Do-young himself categorises their relationship, comparing it to Moon Sang-guk and Kim Jae-yeol.

This in itself is interesting because it shows just how aware and conscious he is of how closely they mirror their enemies. But what's even more interesting is the framing of this moment and this scene in general. Do-young and Dong-soo are sitting down, side by side, equal in height and distance. But does this mean that their relationship is now balanced? No and this is enforced by Do-young's answer to Dong-soo's question.

"They're like us. An attorney and a client."

By bringing up their roles in their relationship, Do-young emphasises the power dynamic in their partnership. Dong-soo is his attorney, hired by him to serve the his [the client's] needs. The same way that it may seem like Moon Sang-guk and Kim Jae-yeol have equal levels of power, it's clear who wields the sword and who buckles beneath it's weight.

This is made even more clear throughout the episode as we see Dong-soo coming up with clever plans to further the success of Do-young's business. However, unlike in previous episodes, Dong-soo receives verbal praise and recognition from Do-young, an act that pleases Dong-soo and continues to embolden him throughout the episode, leading him to make more daring moves on behalf of their joint goal.

One of these daring acts is when Dong-soo decides to visit Kim Jae-yeol in hospital in order to increase his distrust in Moon Sang-guk. However, this visit leads to Dong-soo almost losing his own life as he gets attacked by Jae-yeol's bodyguard. But while Dong-soo tries to fight him off, who comes to his rescue, who saves him from near death?

Do-young.

This singular moment bares so much significance in their relationship because this act is not only intimate, it's personal. Not only is this filmed in such a way to reflect this but Dong-soo's expression communicates just how pivotal this was!

In the past, Do-young has sent Oh-jae, his right-hand man, to save Dong-soo from a rival gang's attempts to hurt him. But for the man himself to come down from his throne and personally prevent such an attack speaks volumes. But what's interesting about this scene is their power dynamic remains unchanged. Do-young doesn't even help Dong-soo up, he looks down on him, fixing him into submission by a mere glance, a powerful gaze.

This formidable control that Do-young has over Dong-soo is shown throughout the episode. From Do-young's mere presence being a motivation for Dong-soo to brutally beat up the Family Gang's leader, and his need for Do-young's validation inspiring him to take even more dangerous risks.

But the moment that enforces this the most for me is how Dong-soo reacts when Do-young answers his phone call. Now after learning that Kim Jae-yeol's arrest was suspended, Do-young ignores Dong-soo's call earlier in the episode, punishing him for failing to achieve their plans. But later on, when Dong-soo calls him again, Do-young picks up and this is how Dong-soo reacts.

Not only was Dong-soo holding his breath as the phone was ringing, but when he hears that he's been connected, Dong-soo inhales deeply, almost out of relief, as if this mere action was a gift from God, a sign that he was back in his good graces.

This hold that Do-young has on him is even further enforced when Beom-jae warns him that the gangster is using him for his own goals, to which Dong-soo replies:

"So what? To catch Moon Sang-guk, I need Seo Do-young too."

Dong-soo acknowledges that he's being used and accepts it, the same way that he accepts Do-young's gifts, which he was given even more of in this episode! And it's this power dynamic based on validation and submission that is at the core of their relationship.

Dong-soo allows himself to be moulded into whatever Do-young desires/needs and in return Do-young gives Dong-soo special treatment, allowing him to make decisions on behalf his business and share his power. And it's these components of their partnership that keep them balanced and their relationship intact. Both of them know their roles and the mutual benefits they receive from their alliance. It's this awareness that will keep them together and help them to become stronger than their enemies. (at least I hope🥺️😭)

[coffinsister]

julia ropes in the siblings to help her bake something for valentine's day as a throuple activity?

Hey! It's technically White Day here where we live, and I felt very motivated to write finally, so here it is, we hope you enjoy it :D !!! <3

Julia had never thought baking cookies would be this hard.

Julia was no fool, she knew baking was no simpleton’s task, baking was a capricious mistress, who rarely smiled upon the poor devils attempting to earn her good graces.

But! She had made cookies many times before, for many different people. She had been making cookies for her friends and family since she was allowed into the kitchen.

Julia looked down at the mess of ingredients, and the (1) singular spoon, on the tiny wooden counter before her.

With a serious expression on her face, she decided to grab a little knife and add it to her arsenal as well.

“Amhm” Okay, maybe she should have taken into consideration her current “Unique” Circumstances.  

“Why are you whining already? This was your idea!” Ashley screamed at her from in front of their stove. 

Except, Julia reminded herself with a headache, their stove, didn't have an oven, only the fire part, below it, there was only a hollow dark void, where she figured some cabinet, or maybe, you know, an oven, should be. 

But there wasn't, and Julia didn't even want to ask how exactly their weird thing worked, because, as she also reminded herself, this was technically a deadman’s stolen apartment, that she had been forcefully brought into, and locked up in for a few months now.

Funny how that works.

She pulled her sleeves lower down, to try to ignore the many red and fresh cuts on her arms, or the two discolored scars, from when they had tied her up with old itchy rope to their walls.

Julia looked to the side, this kitchen was so unbearably small, and they were pressed so close together, that she barely had to look behind her to catch Ashley's eyes.

“...I don’t think you need to scream so loud in this tiny kitchen, Ashley.”

Ashley gasped and bumped into her, as she turned to look at Julia in the eyes. 

“It’s my house! I will scream whenever I want!”

“Shut up, Ashley!” Andrew bonked Ashley in the head, with a large roll of paper towels. “This whole cooking thing is already giving me a headache, and you are making it worse.”

“It’s not even cooking! It’s just baking, phlew” Ashley rolled her eyes, walking closer to her brother, and out of the kitchen, finally giving Julia some space to breathe.

With her newly acquired autonomy and space.

Julia was determined to make-do with what they had, which was basically just some flour, a little sugar, and exactly two bars of butter, oh and that little bag of chocolate chips, that apparently Ashley had pressured Andrew into shoplifting for absolutely no reason. 

“Don’t think you are both going to get away with not helping me” Julia stood before both siblings, her hands planted firmly on her hips.

“Andrew, your ex-girlfriend frowns like a cat,” Ashley said, looking right past Julia.

“Don't call her that.”

“Ex-girlfriend or catty?”

“Neither.”

“Ohh, how sensitive.”

Julia just sighed and shook her head. Conceding was a strength “Andrew, can you help me out with this?”

She had already looked through their cabinets, and this sort of flat soup spoon was the closest they had to a scraper, so she was making it work

“Suree” Andrew sounded a little insecure, being invited into the kitchen, which lead Julia to wonder if prior to this, Ashley had really cooked for the both of them every single time.

Andrew entered the kitchen.

He stood behind her, very very close. 

Julia wondered how having a kitchen this small was even legal at all, surely this was some sort of violation to human rights. 

She ignored the sorta warm feeling in her chest.

“I'm gonna beat up this butter” Julia said, her tone incredibly serious “You just pour the sugar, and then the flour, slowly, alright?”

“Alright” Andrew grabbed the little bowl with the sugar, while Julia began to amass the butter underneath her spoon. It had been outside quite a good while already, but their apartment was so cold all the time, it didn't really make much of a difference.

She appreciated Andrew following her instructions without questioning her too much, obviously this whole thing would be way easier if they had an actual filter, but as she said, making-do.

Julia gulped down, and plastered the butter against the bowl as hard as she could.

She supposed it would also be way easier, if she could stop leaning against Andrew behind her. 

Julia had to consciously stop herself from looking at him through the corner of her eye, and then, had to stop herself from searching for his reflection on the reflection of the bowl.

Finally, Andrew finished pouring both of the solids into her now, sort of soft, butter paste.

“Hey” Julia choked out a little, as she pressed herself closer to the counter “Do you want to help too, Ashley?”

Ashley just stared at her like she was dirtying up her kitchen, and salting her crops, which, yeah, probably, but still.

“You look like you are already getting plenty of help, Julia. Never knew you were this greedy” Ashley's tone was obviously high-pitched and mocking, but Julia decided to look past it.

Cohabiting demanded sacrifices, of many different kinds and natures, after all.

“Well, you made Andrew get the chocolate chips, right? So I figu-”

“I didn't make him do shit! Is that what he told you? He wanted them too! He just didn't want to tell you. because he's a little bitc-!”

“Ashley!” Andrew pushed himself closer to Julia, trying to get closer to Ashley. 

Julia yelped, but neither one of them stopped staring at each other to stare at her instead.   

“What!?”

Andrew tsked “Just get over here, and make yourself useful for once.”

It sounded more like a warning than anything else. 

Ashley pursed her lips, stomping closer to the kitchen, her teeth strongly gritted, she stood right in front of them, on the opposite side of the counter.

“What does our lovely little guest need?”

It took Julia a second to realize Andrew was not only referring to her, but actually talking to her, there was always this small degree of degradation, Ashley would speak about Julia, like Julia was a dog that couldn't understand her sometimes. 

“Here” Julia took the kneaded mass out of the bowl “Andrew, can you put the bowl in the sink?”

“Aja” Andrew twisted his body in a rather awkward motion, and tossed it into their metal sink. 

Julia panned out the dough as far as it would go “Help me put the chocolate chips in it. We gotta put lots, so between the three of us it should be quicker.”

“Charming” Ashley said, her eyes dead and boring, but Julia ignored it and powered through. 

She handed Ashley the little plastic bag, then Ashley handed it to Andrew, then Andrew bit it open, and handed it back to Julia, which was, for sure, a way to go about doing that.

Julia let most of the cookie chips fall into the dough, she could tell the mass was way heavier and denser than it technically should be for this, but hey, they had already gotten this far, right. 

“Wait, why don't we just pour the chocolate on top?” Andrew asked, seeming genuinely curious.

“The chocolate chips spread unevenly, if you throw them on top, a bunch of the dough will end up super empty, and the rest, super full, and when we cut them-”

“Ahm- acktually” Ashley interrupted her “While you are being a nerd, I already started.”

Ashley was making little sad faces into her side of the dough. Julia decided not to question her art. 

“Abstract. Love it” Andrew stated, completely blanked face, and began working too.

“A-Ah, actually!” Julia felt a little embarrassed about actually saying it out loud “We can cut them into shapes first, if you want.”

Julia thought she had cookie cutters back home, that would do the job a lot better, but then she remembered that she didn't really have anything anywhere anymore.

Well, she had two kidnappers here, Julia supposed.

“Ohh” Ashley leaned over the counter to get closer to Andrew, in the process, getting way too close to Julia “Lend me your-”

“You are not using my cleaver to cut cookies, Ashley.”

“You are such a tyrant!” Ashley leaned away from the counter, and Julia allowed herself to breathe once more. 

“Let’s use this one instead, okay?” Julia handed Ashley a far more-appropriate- for- the-task knife, and Ashley recklessly snatched it from her hands.

Not like it would be the first time Ashley carelessly cut her. 

“I’m making rabbits” Ashley proudly declared, before focusing her gaze on that bit of dough, and getting to cutting. 

Julia nodded with a small smile on her face, she stepped slightly away from the counter, knocking her back softly against Andrew's chest.

Julia had to crank up her neck, and look directly above her, to look Andrew in the eye. 

“Do you want to make shapes too?” She softly asked him.

“Nah, let Ashley have her fun.”

He sounded dismissive, but Julia knew that was just another facet of his way of caring.

She nodded “Okay” And they continued slowly placing the chocolate chips on top of Ashley's bunnies.

They kept going until they heard her whine “Aw, Jules make more dough” So Ashley had run out of space already. 

“I will when you guys get an oven.”

“Do you know how much an oven costs?”

“I-”

“Do any of us know how much an oven costs?”

Ashley looked down “...Fair enough.”

“Actually, how do you bake cookies without an oven?” Andrew asked.

“You can bake them in a pan. I haven't really done it before, but… it should work out” Sounding super self-confident there, Julia.

“Hey! I can do that” Ashley said, actually sounding super self-confident there “Leave it to me.”

“Are you sure, Ashley?” Julia asked.

“Duh! Who do you think does all the actual cooking in this house?”

“Doing the cooking we eat is not something to brag about.”

“Oh, c'mon, dude.” 

Ashley made her way back inside their kitchen, and Julia was promptly forced to make her way out. Now they stood in opposite spots, with Julia looking in from the outside.

Both siblings stood near each other, as comfortable as she had ever seen them, Andrew's hand was confidently resting on Ashley's lower back.

Things Julia didn't really need to question anymore. 

“I told you I can take care of this, Jules!” Ashley confidently remarked.

“Are you sure this is how that’s supposed to be, Ashley?”

“Geez, have some faith in your sister-wife for once, Andrew.”

Both Andrew and Julia cringed at that, looking away, like they could escape the crime scene they had chosen to live in. They, at least, had that in common.

And then, like 10 minutes later, Ashley turned the stove off, and presented Julia with the most utterly burnt plate of cookies Julia had never seen.

They placed it on the wooden counter.

“Sooo, who’s gonna take one for the team, and do the first bite?”

“You burned it, you eat it” Andrew told her.

Ashley made a bitter face at that.

“...You don't have to eat it,, if you don't want it” Julia chewed out her words, looking down to the plate of burnt butter cookies.

She had almost made it work.

“Eh? You want me to waste food?” Ashley said, a serious frown in her face, as she picked up the least burnt cookie from the bunch “Guess you’ve never been starved for 3 months straight!”

And she bit straight into it.

Julia’s eyes widened at the loud cough that came out of Ashley, her expression looked bitter, and disoriented, but she still swallowed it down, without wasting a bit of it. 

“A-Are you sure?”

“You are such a baby” Andrew poked his little sister’s forehead, rolling his eyes, a teasing smile on his face “They don't even taste that bad.”

Julia had always thought that his eyes were a little cold, a little perpetually disinterested in the world around him, but his countenance always seemed to soften up when Ashley was nearby.

“How do you know that?” Ashley poked her tongue out at her brother “You haven't even tasted them yet.”

Ashley grabbed one of the most generously burnt cookies, and shoved it into Andrew's hands.

Julia grabbed his elbow, holding onto the black fabric of his sweater “Really, Andrew, you don't have to, I know they came out horrible and-” Julia was already going into a small babbling rant.

She was trying not to be this way so much anymore, but she wasn't always successful at her attempts. 

Andrew made a little bitter expression at the burnt pastry, but after a second, he simply shrugged. 

“I mean, it is edible, isn't it?” Andrew nodded to his right, towards Ashley's “This bitch ate it and she hasn't died yet, soo, it’s probably safe.”

“But it tastes awful” Julia felt like she was pleading to him. Maybe, she always was. 

Andrew looked uncomfortably away from her, fixing his gaze carefully just to the side of her face “Trust me, I’ve tasted worse.”

“Rude,” Ashley said, her mouth hidden behind her palm. 

And knowing the implications of that, Julia decided to stop pleading.

From the corner of her eye, she caught Ashley's mocking Cheshire Cat Smile.

Andrew bit minutely into the cookie, he grunted a little under his breath, like the taste caught him off guard, even though, Julia had just warned him.

“Told you so” Julia let go of Andrew's sweater.

Andrew finished it, and wiped the yellowy crumbs off his white face “Eh, it wasn't that bad” He looked oddly bored while saying it. 

Julia supposed they did have far more exciting lives than she would ever really get to see.

“But that seemed really bad…”

“No, I still have had worse” He eyed Ashley.

“Okay, now you are really pushing it” Ashley lightly hit him on the shoulder, Andrew didn't even acknowledge it.

But, Julia didn't quite think that was a good thing, though. 

“Well, we both already tasted your awful baking, so now it’s your turn” Ashley pushed the plastic plate closer to her.

Julia felt her whole body get paler.

“C'mon, don't be a scaredy cat, Jules!” 

Ashley grabbed another one of the extra burnt cookies, she began making airplane noises, while moving the cookie back and forth closer to Julia’s mouth each time, somehow, this reminded Julia of a scene from her childhood, a little too much.  

“Ashley!” Andrew reprimanded her, that same old, done-with, expression on his face “Give it to me” He sounded so stern.

“Bohoo! You are no fun” Ashley pouted, her lips pursed together. 

Andrew sighed. 

Rolling his eyes, carefully on top of the plate, so as to not make an even greater mess, than the one that was already in their kitchen, he began to remove all the black and orange burnt off bits of the cookie.

Once Andrew concluded there wasn't anything left to be salvaged from the poor thing, he looked back up to Julia, his eyes trained on her freckles, never on her eyes. 

“Here” Andrew handed it over to her, and Julia opened up her hands, like she was receiving water from a well “You can eat it now.”

“Ah?” Really, that's what he was worried about? Julia couldn't help but think.

This was the guy she had fallen in love with after all.

“Well, you already went through all that hard work, didn't you?” Julia teased him a little bit, her smile lopsided. 

She thought, she was becoming a weirder and weirder person by the moment, like The Graves oddities were rubbing off on her, infecting her in ways that would leave her irreparably changed.

But yet again, Julia knew for a fact, there were far more terrible fates out there. 

“I did” Andrew nodded, the deep eyebags around his eyes, making his lighthearted smile appear far more tired than it probably was “You should eat it before it gets even colder.”

“Responsible!” Julia grinned at him, these strange moments of normalcy felt even heavier than the moments of plain weirdness, but she rejoiced in them. 

“Isn't he?” Ashley said, with her arms crossed, her eyes fixated on Andrew's face.

Julia nodded, holding the cookie up to her face, it felt like forcing herself to drink bitter medicine. 

“...Here goes nothing.” 

And she bit into it.

“Ew!”

Julia spat out the rest of the cookie.

She looked up like she had been zapped. Julia heard laughter all around her.

The Grave Siblings were loudly laughing at her.

“Are you really doubled over laughing at me, Ashley!?”

“You should look at your face!” Ashley screamed out between giggles, pointing with her index finger right at her. 

“Sh-Shut up, Ashley” Andrew was struggling between breathing and laughing, obviously attempting to hide his face behind his arms, and very obviously, strenuously, failing at it.

“You are laughing too, jackass!” Ashley screamed back, her laughter growing louder, and more high-pitched.

“I'm laughing at you, dumbass!”

“I hate you both!” Julia screamed out. 

Her face bright red, she stomped the floor with her right foot like an anxious bunny would.

She turned to run away from them, but before she could, Andrew held onto her elbow, his hand, corpse-like, cold.

“Don't leave” He could barely breathe, and Julia wasn't even sure he was trying to finish an actual sentence, all that came out of Andrew's lips was that simple statement.

“We’ll make up to you” Ashley said, cheerfully and self-confident “We will eat another one ourselves.”

“You will?”

“We will?”

“We will!”

And to her surprise, Andrew just nodded, and the Graves kept their promise, but really, Julia should know better by now, because after Ashley so-bravely downed her own cookie, she demanded Julia do the same, to ‘keep it fair.’

And well, Julia couldn't help being who she was. 

At least Andrew stole some of the decent chocolate chips, the ones that don’t burn and only melt, which was a sort of a positive point on their corner.

Somehow, before Julia even realized it, their cookie plate was empty, and they went to sleep, and she didn't feel painfully empty for once.

[narwhalandchill]

hoyo rly just went and put straight up whale sonar (Very Obvious clicks starting 1.53) into wrath of monoceros caeli all the way back in 1.1 already while presumably going all tee hee abt it like its just a funky easter egg slash potential lore pipe bomb as if it wouldnt be actively ruining my goddamn life 3 years down the line after noticing it for what it was (yes shut up it took me this long after watching whale documentaries all week to hyperanalyze silhouette of catastrophes sonar to realize they used it before too) like i cant stop thinking about it

like nvm the fucking fact that the title of the track Itself is soooo fucking suspect w what we know now like. isnt it Curious how youd call a song meant for a moment depicting childes Individual Personal rage at Us the wrath of the celestial narwhal. Not the wrath of the "harbinger" not the "snezhnayan warrior" or w/e. but The monoceros caeli . That is what serves as his namesake for this moment in golden house .

they straight up said HIS wrath = the celestial narwhals wrath like Huh indeed 🤨

and Then theres this shit like the tusk drop man like he Already displays shared core characteristics with the narwhal its soo

embodying and embracing a solipsistic character and arrogant ambition so immense the sole image capable of reflecting its essence back at him in full turns out to be no less than the cosmos-cruising godlike all-devouring narwhal?? 🤨🤨 that just fucking Happens to be your own constellation? AND the creature you woke up at 14 just by balling it and tripping on your way down to the abyss??? 🤨🤨🤨 who you remain inexplicably connected to??

Ajax you are not fucking dodging the same/parallel/split/mirrored one singular entity with your narwhal allegations . Like yes its very hard to have anything concrete on the subject of their undeniable similarities but the parallels are paralleling a bit too hard methinks .

(like hypothetically given some themes of chivalry and loyalty and looking after his family in his weird dysfunctional way Wouldnt it be funny if the narwhals core motivation was also one of protection and preservation in its own eldritch way like maybe one thats all abt a sorrowful voyage of entropy and eating world after world with the ultimate goal of preserving life itself and giving birth to a new living one in its own stomach even as the universe with all its stars dims down and dies one da---- oh whoops Thats Canon)

theyre sooooooo undeniably connected but howwww what does it all ultimately pertain hoyo i need the fucking answers 😭😭

anyway tho to talk of the sonar a bit more the singular other occasion featuring it in genshin OST is obviously in silhouette of catastrophe and the thing that interests me in particular is the like. Specific nature of the sounds/references used

bc. yes theres clicks in wrath of monoceros caeli but its also like. Whose clicks? that ones not a question for silhouette obviously the entirety of the sonar references utilized is very much like. You Are Being Hunted Down In The Dark By Sound Alone By This Particular Narwhal. the clicks grind the way sonar of a whale hunting very very close to its prey would. the EDM adjacent beats intensifying and overlapping on the way to the 2nd beat drop invoke the closing in on prey. its looking for you. You are already dead (nani??!?) etc etc

but the clicks in wrath of monoceros caeli are more distant. almost curious? like. literally. theres none of the frantic nature used in silhouette with how the sonar conveys what is quite literally the imagery of a whale lunging for prey right within its reach. the clicks are uniform and sound out during a lull in the melody. their frequency doesnt speed up the sonar is just There. its more reminiscent of sonar toothed whales use when theyre just looking for information . looking out towards anything that might ping back in the distance . just keeping an eye out

and like as much as of a mr "same entity allegations undodged" childe ajax tartaglia foil hat 5head i am. it must be noted that the dude himself has Not exhibited a particular tendency for sonar clicking (and if it was His sonar id be expecting clicks Much more akin to silhouettes sounds of whale on the hunt given the emotions present during the 3rd phase aka bro is angy). but. Well. we all know who very much has and now im kinda just

okay Sure it could just be a theming thing. as has been noted already. ajax' links to the narwhal are Shady. so his boss fight OST featuring both whale call motifs (the electric guitar mimicking whalesong is still soooo) and this particular sonar might well just be intended as establishing that connection too (or maybe even foreshadowing the strengthening of their bond later in fontaine thru childes growth in power). which is already based we love it

but. also . Also. if you just let me get a bit creative (read: insane) with the possible implications of the clicks' presence in particular . Like just a little bit . Hear me out

Did. Did ajax start malding so hard during golden house that his own fucking narwhal (naturally concerned) popped by through their connection to just. Click him up a bit to see whats up with its favorite human . All the while the mans just fully in the flow state murder edition not noticing a thing .

. Is this a regular occurrence

[sleepyowlwrites]

writer positivity tag

a tablet engraved in a language I don't know from @365runesoftheamalgamations

What motivates you to write?

literally anything. overall, it's because I have the stories in my head and they're taking up brain space! I need to get them out! and it's fun! and in the moment to moment of it, it's that one singular idea or emotion that was tumblr through my brain spaces and I really want to capture it in THIS story, with THESE characters. so I do that. I like taking things that I couldn't previous convert from wispy colors and spiky feelings into sentences that can impact people, whether in such a way that it makes them giggle or it sucker punches them or whatever. I like to do the thing. and! bonus for me, 'cause at this point, after all these years, I'm really good at it. so that helps.

A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not, maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them):

there's not a thing I'm most proud of. I keep improving, you know, so I keep writing things I'm newly most proud of. but then also, I'm still really, really proud of things that I don't think are that well written anymore, but that represent something for me, some part of who I was or what I was going through. I don't know about "most" but, here's something.

a sketch, bold lines, chromatic (2021)

do you want a self-portrait? I can give you one.

my heart is here, on my sleeve, right next to my elbow. I keep it in a plastic bag so it doesn’t get wet, but you can see it. it’s real, and pulsing, and the love can come out of it just fine. love is not tangible, you see, unless it has already left the heart in which case I can put it in my hands and lay them on your cheeks and then it is very tangible in so far as you will allow yourself to feel it.

I wear my shoes with the laces double knotted and I rarely untie them. I slip them on for work and kick them off when I get home. they fall haphazardly by the door, but they are by the door, kept, not lost, and are ready for use when I need them.

my hair is large around my head until I tie it back, but it curls as it will and I let it, because that is what my hair does. it is mine, and I intend to keep it, no matter what color it is or if it’s only half-braided because I slept on my side. my freckles go away in the winter, but I don’t miss them because I know they’ll return. there’s a small scar beside my eye. it shows more when I’m tired, and it hangs there like a mark on the moon and I’m not ashamed of it. it does not say that I am shadowed, it just means that I fell down as a child.

I drape myself in the colors I like, not the colors I think I appear to be. others will see me and hear me and decide what I am, and I like that I am more than shades of purple to the people outside of my head. I am purple to me, and that’s the most important, but if you see me as yellow and it makes you smile then I accept it with honor, I wear it like a pin beside my chest cavity, a souvenir for when I’m sleeping and my heart has crawled back home.

I can go on. but I know you’re not listening, or seeing, either. I hold out my arm so that my heart beats directly in front of yours and yet you are empty and walled and distant. I can wait outside for you but if you won’t open the door I can’t force my way in. and I won’t try, either.

I wear my heart on my sleeve but it’s up to you to choose to see.

Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them, and what are they like?

I have too many ocs for this, but here's my main guys:

R - dramatic, flirtatious lad, always on the verge of self-destruction until someone pulls him back by needing him. he's 17 and lives like it, one quip at a time. his heart is large and melty, and he just wants to be good, and is learning how to put in the work.

Jet - angry, tired, needing something to live for but unwilling to find it himself. he'll punch all your demons before confronting his own and finds too much exultant delight in the act. he doesn't want to experience emotions but he'll do it for you. and maybe, maybe for himself, as a result.

Nyks - sunshine child. delight of everyone's lives. he's lost his memory and his family but he has friends who love him. is always in need of cuddles and always gets them. encourager extraordinaire. a guardian angel, a baby.

(all my ocs can be found through a handy link in my pinned post if you wanted to hear me talk about some girls, maybe)

What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

draft 0. just writing whatever story comes out first and running with it. is it coherent? is it linear? is it on track to end? who knows! finding out is part of the fun! it's so enjoyable that I spend all my time here.

What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

dialogue is an easy answer. but also setting the tone, showcasing a particular dynamic in a short amount of time, and summarizing a very specific vibe or emotion with one pointed metaphor or paragraph. I do sensory emotion really well, and create whole atmospheres in just a few lines. maybe I don't mention where the heck the characters are but you definitely know what they're feeling (or what the pov is, anyway)

What is something in the writeblr community that is most enjoyable?

having friends! that I don't even just talk about writing with. we have random and strange and wonderful conversations about anything and develop inside jokes and I adopt a lot of them. it's great! and also I love tag games. I'm so slow about doing them because I am *rolls eyes* advancing in years and it takes so much more energy to do stuff *rolls eyes again* but I love them. I hoard them.

A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

scrivener is the best thing. I literally just updated to version 3 today and it's cleaner and smoother. I used onenote all through high school and beyond but then I just stopped? something about it didn't click with me anymore but I needed something with organization. I refuse to write in word or googledocs. so three? years ago I bought myself scrivener for my birthday and it's been amazing.

I do also keep a writing journal (I say journal very loosely) and sometimes bring it with me places and there's all kinds of random thoughts and snatches of scenes and what have you in there. I used to never write by hand because it's so slow, but my brain has changed a bit over the years and now I can write up to like, 4k by hand before I just can't anymore. I usually just do between 400-900 words though.

A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law, etc)

I love that the kids in Youth Story have superpower for literally no reason. I just stuck them in there and they just have them. it turns the slice of life into slice of surreal life and I love it.

and I love the cities in my stories. Sinderport and Rasterpool are the only ones with names at the moment but I have a bunch and they all have character and layouts in my head and specific attributes like being on a river or the gangs or the street slang. for being not a city person I really like to write about them.

and I love the magic in Guild Story. it's unwieldy and tricky and doesn't just "solve problems" and also I just love the three guild houses. they just came to me! and I was like "really, the ya x of x format" but c'mon. House of Favors sounds cool. anyway I gotta write more of this wip it's really interesting.

Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters:

Maybe Sorcery @akindofmagictoo Ember @ashen-crest (buy her books! so good!) Ghosty @zmwrites Idea @oh-no-another-idea Breezy @blind-the-winds Celadon @abalonetea (buy books!) Klaus @kaiusvnoir Klove @klywrites Rainstorm @avrablake Moonink @drippingmoon Stars Books @vellichor-virgo Cozy @ink-fireplace-coffee Glowstick @ellatholmes Ren-rill-ren @ren-c-leyn Rarity @uraniumwriting Sounding @diphthongsfordays Ocelot @ambiguouspuzuma Bender @writing-is-a-martial-art Tangerine @the-orangeauthor and everybody else on the nickname list

but also I love all of my Sleepyheads.

^people feel free to do the tag, and anybody else who sees this, and also maybe @crypticcodexcreations @thegreatobsesso @sarahlizziewrites @thetruearchmagos @sam-glade

[revalentine2]

Surfin' Seas and Discoveries! - Team Objective plays Pokemon Emerald

Sorry about no pic last time Iris. We'll make it up to you, little guide!

Wally's father gave me Surf! I wonder what fantastic object pokemon we could find by surfing the seas on Hoenn...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooare you kidding me.

Well, shoot. We're gonna need an HM user. The only other option would be getting Bulwark extremely overleveled.

This is a beach ball. We're going to float around on a beach ball. Yes.

I've made my way over to Mauville, to figure out where to go next, and Wattson has informed me of an aBANDONED FACILITY? That he, the electric leader, RAN?

That does sound promising indeed. Very well, Wattson. I'll solve your little problem, for pointing me in this direction.

Childish. Simple. Amateur.

(She scribbles "Team Objective FTW!" on the sign.)

Anyway, here's New Mauville! It was under the Cycling Road the whole time, it seems. Let's venture inside!

Oh...the electricity singes the air! The crackle of still running machinery...We won't be finding any sparky dogs or rabbits down here, no, It must be the pokemon I've waited so long to come across...

...

Perfection.

Stupendous. Glorious. Absolute joy.

Look at that cute singular little dot eye. The magnets and screws that emerge from it for no discernible reason.

Magnemite is perfect. So much so, that feel motivated to seek out the pinnacle of perfection. Let this little one go about their way. I will keep looking...

I know your tricks, "pokeball"...

"it's just a pokeball with eyes!" And is that so wrong? Welcome to the team, Voltorb!

Neutral nature with Static, nice! With surf unlocked, 'Splodey will come in very handy. Now, we just need its kantonian sibling...

Is it weird to call this one in particular 'Splodey when at least three other pokemon I have can currently explode?

Oh my god.

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patricia, I knew your Magnet Pull would reap us rewards someday...

Oof, it's giving us a beating! Magneton STRONG! Magneton POWERFUL! Magneton ONE OF US!

"it's just three Magnemite stuck together"-and is that so wrong. That's just triple the perfection! Magneton is perfect and there isn't a thing I'd change about it.

(...Ignore that, technically, it can still change. I don't think there's a way to do that in this region.)

I shall name you MAXIMUM.

We have shut down the generator (hopefully that doesn't affect the electric types negatively), but like...did we have to? This is the perfect spot for Team Objective's TRUE Lair!

Oh well. The Thunderbolt TM is appreciated, Wattson, but I'm going to need more of these.

For now, though, I think some decisions have to be made.

With the three new pokemon I've caught, my established team of six suddenly doesn't have room for everyone, and with that...I think some changes have to be made. We have to decide on who to bring forward, and who gets left behind.

I've already put a lot of thought into this...and here's my decision.

Given how much water we're going to be sunken into soon, leaving either of the electric types behind would be silly. Levitate pokemon are extremely important for my very ground-weak team, so all three of them are coming along. Plus, I want to see what potential Baltoy and Koffing have. My starter Graveler, StepStone, is mandatory.

That mean we're leaving behind...Patricia, Goo Goo, and Bulwark.

I may be the only one who thinks Nosepass is cute, but it really is. Patricia, you've come in handy in multiple big battles so far, and you brought us Maximum. Sorry to say they're replacing you. I wish I could have met you sooner. Here, let me snap a pic to send to Roxanne.

Maybe you'll join the team again, someday?

This does sting a bit, Goo Goo. You're still so far from your potential...but, we have to make decisions. You came in handy when it came to the battle against my father. Take a nice rest, you cute little slime.

Bulwark...we caught you right after StepStone. You're basically the second starter, and the only one of two team members for our first badge that felt truly earned.. As underpowered as you may be, your skills were key to defeating Dad...he just couldn't resist going for counter while you mud-slapped Slaking in the face. Perhaps, though, this is for the best. I'm not so sure about how I feel about you becoming a Kaiju. This way, you stay a little cute collection of metal scraps forever.

And with that, we have the team. StepStone the Graveler, Skybomb the Koffing, Sungaze the Solrock, Iris the Baltoy, 'Splodey the Voltorb, and Maximum the Magneton.

...I have a lot of S names. Uh-well, it's because S is Objectively the best letter! Yes!

With that all out of the way, let's take to the sea and go exploring!

!!! Here's that sunken ship I spotted earlier, back when we first came through here! What secrets lie aboard...

Nothing. This place doesn't even have pokemon in it.

Feh.

Well hey, at least 'Splodey evolved! Look at that smirk!

Let's keep surfing, along past Dewford. Perhaps there's something else in that part of the sea...huh? Iris is reacting to something! Does this mean what I think it means?

This is the same rock formation we saw in the desert! That CAN'T be a coincidence. I see no way inside, so we'll have to mark this down for later. SOMETHING interesting must be sealed within.

Coming back to you in Mauville! I explored the ocean all around the parts of Hoenn I'd visited before, but there was nothing else interesting. That means the only way to go next is east, which will we do so in the next update! In the interim I will be uh, working, to get some powerful moves from the Game Corner. Until next time-team Objective, because Object Pokemon are OBJECTIVELY the best!

Team: StepStone the Graveler (F) Skybomb the Koffing (F) Sungaze the Solrock Iris the Baltoy 'Splodey the Electrode Maximum the Magneton

[deathlonging]

shakespeare asks 4 20 28 29 kisses!!!

4. Is all justified in the name of true love?

unfortunately of the opinion that true love is actually the deepest form of self identification, or a proxy for something bigger that is unattainable. illustrations: for the former predestination (2014), wuthering heights (1847), dead ringers (2023); for the latter othello (1603), succession (2018-23), etc. which basically means true love is a reason as selfish as any other to do something drastic; cringe bidart voice you can convince ppl anything is moral

20. Favorite Shakespeare quote? Favorite play?

i'll restrict myself to two: Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-browed night,/Give me my Romeo. And when I shall die,/Take him and cut him out in little stars,/And he will make the face of heaven so fine/That all the world will be in love with night...

and second, serve god, love me and mend.

which are both so cliche but they've stuck with me so. honorable mention to othello's

(...)Set you down this.

And say besides, that in Aleppo once,

Where a malignant and a turbanned Turk

Beat a Venetian and traduced the state,

I took by th’ throat the circumcisèd dog,

And smote him, thus.

which is not the play's best or most interesting in the least but my personal favorite just for all the implications

and ofc my favorite play is OTHELLO. soo many quotes i could pick from it as my faves tbh i really did not do my love for it justice in answering this. also to be fair i have only read four of his plays so far so this is subject to change

28. “By the pricking of my thumbs, / Something wicked this way comes.” Do you think you are a good person? What does it even mean to be “good”, to be “wicked”? Could you be good? Could you be wicked?

honestly i have a very simplistic view of goodness lol its the bend in the road where action eclipses intention, everyone has capacities for both, etc. but also i do think the talk about morality can be bereft of the factor of agency and its complicated relationship with social roles, instead often subsuming that nuance under the umbrella of identity. not least bc of the law and the role it plays in influencing the perceived social code of morality or w/e, where so many of the choices people make are guided by a publicized fear panopticon-style that leaves my ideas of what constitutes a good and a horrible person both at the fringes, and how this conflation of exclusionary motivations is like a perpetual motion machine in a way; at least, so goes the thought train on my cynical days. highly personalized answer that does not cohere. i haven't even scratched the surface of all i need to read on this to crystallize the opinions. anyway i absolutely have to quote miss weil here about how fictional evil is interesting, marvelous, romantic, but real evil is banal, straightforward, even universal in a way. while real goodness is singular in a way fictional goodness often isn't. you know.

29. Do you believe in magic or witchcraft, even just a little?

the same way most people do, i think - in everyday wonders you can't comprehend. empathy doesn't come often or easy to me so many things people consider basic ARE v much magical and unfathomable to me as someone with a limited emotional imagination at least outside the scope of fiction. which makes me sound like that parent who tweeted that being required to comfort her kid was unfair emotional labor lmao but obviously not how i mean it - i'm just frequently astounded by ppl's capacity for patience and kindness. addendum cooking is witchcraft to me. i haven't learned it yet properly but i will continue to hold this opinion even when i do bc its the art whose practice baffles me the most. so i guess the short answer is no bc i am easily enchanted by the mundane lol

(post)

[itsnothingofinterest]

Alright we're at 2/3 for the villain hero student plots, given how the dabi and toga ones have gone how do you feel about the shigaraki one? Like from everything we've seen so far, with dabi toga and the mutant type quirk Havers, how do you realistically think this last ones gonna go?

Oh don’t ask me about what I realistically expect; because I’m not expecting much good or interesting to talk about if we're taking Dabi & Toga’s conclusions at face value.

I much prefer to think about the possibilities in our expectations being subverted with sudden twists and challenges. How this or that forgotten plot element could suddenly come into focus in an unexpected way. And indeed how the villain plots we think just got concluded could be reignited to challenge our heroes some more. That's where the fun predictions come from.

Still, I should probably give proper answer, shouldn't I; even if my answer is a fairly dull way for things to go. But to bum less people out with my negativity, I'm putting it under a cut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway a realistic prediction based on how Dabi & Toga's plots ended would probably something along the lines of pinning everything wrong with Tomura on his daddy issues and/or AFO to sidestep any way that the hero society that All Might built contributed to his fall to villainy; in general treating him as a unique case instead of anything systemic Deku needs to worry about, or at least that he'd need to change & do differently from his predecessors. Thus allowing Deku to save Tenko while still moving forward as nothing more complicated than an All Might 2.0.

(Deku then faces 2 or 3 more Leagues of Villains in his career; formed from falling through the same cracks, and with the same motives as our League. And then in 70~100 years humanity goes extinct because of the Quirk Singularity. All of which being preventable, but not by the heroes the kids have been ending their arcs as.)

Also AFO may or may not make it to the Deku v Shigaraki fight to be blamed for everything wrong in the world in person. It wouldn't really matter, he doesn't need to be there for that; so it just depends on if Hori wants Deku to beat his face in (again, but also for the 1st time), or if he wants All Might to 3-0 him. Or maybe if Horikoshi wants to be efficient, he might just Warp one fight's combatants straight to the other fight; convert 'um into a 2V2 (or rather a 2V1V1) to get both of those plots over quick...Actually, that last idea sounds interesting; I may use that for my fun predictions.

Well anyway yeah, that's my realistic expectations based on what we’ve been getting. It’s not much fun to think about, and I don't actually like being this much a downer. But there you go.

[dawnclan-duskclan]

Heavy rains in the Daylands dimmed the Sun and cast the world in grey, washed out and overcast. It was a gloomy landscape that brought forth gloomier thoughts. Boragebud's uncertainty festered in the silence as she padded out onto the marshes in the wake of the storm.

"Do you think I'm doing a good job as deputy, Mothpuddle?" Boragebud said. A singular drop of water splashed onto her nose, cast far from a Waterwing's feather, and she twitched it off. "I thought I would spend lifetimes reaching Maplesong's wisdom. I thought I would never come close, but now…"

Boragebud paused, recalled the conversation she'd had with her mother before the patrol:

"I don't know why you keep bugging me about this. You're deputy. You already have the answer." "Yes, but I want to make sure I'm not missing anything. Something that you saw and I missed." "Ha! I can hardly see my own nose now, starflower. I assure you: your eyes are far keener than mine." "Mother, I meant in a metaphorical sense." "Literal, metaphorical, rhetorical, take your pick. The only place I have you beat is spiritual, and that's only because half my paws are rooted in MoonClan by now." "Mother!" "Ah, just teasing, flo. But you really don't need my council, you have this under your paw. Show 'em what you've got."

Boragebud shivered at Maplesong's words, wishing it was only the not-quite-fog that settled over the lake which had caused her hackles to rise, her fur to prickle.

In front of her, Mothpuddle stopped on the lakeshore, her paws touching the boundary between earth and mud, and there she started sniffing around at the green shoots poking from the wet, rich soil. How she could distinguish any scent from the pungent lakebed muck was beyond Boragebud's comprehension.

"Do you want to know what I think?" the golden healer finally replied, turning half her face. She had the same authority Maplesong had--maybe that quality ripened with age--but none of the playful softness of her mother's voice, only cold, hard certainty. "I think MoonClan's growls hurt."

"Hurt?" Boragebud asked, confused by the sudden change in topic. "Hurt who?"

"MoonClan. I think the rumblings are unpleasant for the spirits."

The rumblings of MoonClan were what brought life to the Caverns, what made growing all these herbs possible. It was MoonClan's growl that kept the Night away, their purr that led souls to eternal rest.

If that the rumbles of stone were unpleasant, if they were painful to MoonClan, if keeping DuskClan alive caused their ancestors pain…

Boragebud shook her head. It couldn't be.

"It's pain that makes things grow. MoonClan's pain nurtures us, and your pain will nurture you, Boragebud."

The deputy couldn't help it, she laughed. "How is pain anything more than painful?"

"You're feeling pain, yes? Emotional, but obviously that doesn't stop it from hurting. If you didn't feel that pain, how would you ever feel pressured to improve? To question your own choices and biases, and then decide to do better?" Mothpuddle said. Even as she spoke, her claws were gently chopping green stalks, stacking them into piles. "Ergo, pain--or fear of future pains--gives us the motivation to make ourselves better."

"Perhaps for living cats. But what makes you think MoonClan's growl is painful?"

Mothpuddle shrugged. "Nothing. Everything." The golden healer dropped the last mallow stalk onto the pile and walked away, already sniffing through the mud for another patch.

Boragebud shook her head and wrapped the bundles Mothpuddle left behind, tucking the stalks into the hide pouches she wore across her back to carry back. She would never understand MoonClan, not like the old healer did, but at least it distracted her from her own troubles.

<< 1.4 || FIRST || 1.6 >>

[tokiro07]

Cipher Academy ch.35 thoughts

[Prison Break]

...So Eteshite's gotta be huge to be able to move like an actual bear in that costume, yeah? Like she's deffo a monster under there, unless it's like...an animatronic suit or something. Which would be interesting, but I'd prefer she be jacked as hell. I want her to take off the bear head and she's just Isshin from Undead Unluck

Rikukeito storming Class A's stronghold to retrieve her friends wasn't totally unexpected, as I figured that Class A wasn't going to be able to maintain such an early lead for long, but seeing how seriously she ran in and demanded that her allies be returned, I'm reminded that the rest of the students aren't just brainwashed soldiers with a singular focus on victory for their "country," but children with interests and wants and, most importantly, friends

I've been saying that this is a Friendship arc for a while now, but somehow it didn't occur to me that we'd be seeing the current antagonists valuing their friends just as much as our protagonists

I imagine we're also likely to see someone devaluing Friendship in some way this arc, most likely whoever in Class F has a connection to Anonymity if I had to guess, which will result in a conflict of ideals between them and Iroha

Iroha says that he was inspired to go save Anonymity because of Rikukeito's actions, but honestly if he'd gotten the shackle off on his own, I'm confident he would have gone after her no matter what. Granted, guarding three hostages is probably more important than risking them to save just one, so maybe if she hadn't come he would have chosen to prioritize victory in accordance with Anonymity's wishes. Regardless, Iroha's experience as a hostage makes perfect sense as a motivator in this instance, even if it is effectively just a simulation. Maybe if we're lucky, we'll get to see a flashback about it?

Iroha swooping in to save Anonymity is the shippiest dang thing I've ever seen and I'm all about it. I said a while ago that I want her to just fall hopelessly and idiotically in love with him, and I stand by it. If this ends up a harem manga, I'll be down without question so long as Anonymity gets to be a dumbass in love

This chapter didn't really have a ton of introspection or much in the way of puzzles, so I don't really have much else to say about it, but before I sign off, I do want to talk about Rikukeito's statement: "you think we can't see people if their faces aren't visible?"

This lends into the Friendship theme pretty well, as that sentiment is about understanding people well enough to see them and their habits in their work or the after-effect of their actions. People aren't machines, they leave the fingerprints of their logic, their mentality, their experiences, their very life and soul in everything they do. Iroha is familiar with this concept, as it's how he was able to beat Anonymity in the first place; he recognized who drew which puzzle in Leaky Poker based on the way they were drawn and how they reflected their origins. However, at the time he couldn't read Anonymity herself very well because of Personal Package, which rendered her true face invisible, so despite familiarity with the concept, he still hasn't quite mastered the skills needed for it...until now!

Iroha just landed smack dab in the middle of THREE enemies with hidden faces, and therefore will give him similar trouble to what he had with Anonymity previously. Not much time has passed, but Iroha has shown to grow incredibly fast up to now, so this will be a good opportunity to see how else he's leveled up recently

Whatever happens, Anonymity is definitely the part I'm most excited about (surprising no one). Shame it'll be another week until we get to see what happens...

[antianakin]

Ahsoka is not a real person, though, is the thing. That's how I'm viewing her. She's not real. She is a character who represents certain things within the storyline and whose growth DOES need to generally be shown to us if they're going to make her change this radically. She is someone they explicitly set up as being not that great at subtlety or spying the few times she explicitly does have to do those things. Think about how awful she is during the Zyggerian arc at pretending to be a slave. Think about how bad she is at pretending not to be a Jedi with Trace and Rafa in season 7. Think about the fact that she goes to Padme's funeral and is immediately seen by someone who recognizes her and is just super lucky that that person happened to be Bail Organa.

This isn't a character trait I am getting from a singular episode of one show and I'm not saying she DOESN'T grow as a character at all, I'm just saying she's not someone who is EVER set up as someone who could feasibly become a good spy. This is just an intrinsic part of who she is as a character, and it frustrates me that Ahsoka keeps getting smoothed over to have fewer and fewer flaws as she gets older. There's a difference for me between allowing Ahsoka to grow and learn and just... removing all of her flaws to make her seem cooler and I feel like turning her into a spy falls more into the latter than the former.

Like just think of all the interesting places they could've taken Ahsoka. We don't even see her DO spy stuff in Rebels, they just tell us that she IS a spy. Like primarily in Rebels she just comes right out and beats people up, that's... not the kind of thing she should be doing if she's keeping her identity super hidden so she can be a spy for the Rebellion. So even in the show where they tell us she's been spying for 15 years, she remains a character who is very bold and loud and lacking in subtlety during the one season we get to see her.

And imagine all of the much more interesting characters we could've gotten as Fulcrum who haven't gotten anywhere near as much screentime as Ahsoka already had by Rebels. We could've had Barriss show back up, for example, Barriss who was shown to have an insanely good memory and managed to come up with a really complex plan to bomb the temple and frame someone else for it and nearly gets away with it and who is perhaps looking for some level of redemption by working with the Rebellion. We've mentioned Quinlan Vos who has been set up in extended stuff as a spy already, that would've been really easy. They could always just come up with an original Jedi character the way Jedi: Survivor does for Cal and Cere. Hell, it could've been Asajj if they'd worked at it and given her a good enough motivation to help the Rebellion.

I just think making Ahsoka a spy was a cheap and easy way to make Ahsoka seem super cool and mysterious because Filoni loves her and wants her to be the best at everything and quite honestly Ahsoka is more interesting when she gets to KEEP her flaws. I'm a big proponent on this blog of giving Ahsoka back her flaws and weaknesses, so I'm going to keep my opinion that Ahsoka would NOT have made a good spy because that's what's set up pretty much everywhere else I've seen her and even fits in with the characterization she tends to have in Rebels. I want BETTER for Ahsoka than making her into something she's not just because someone thought it was cooler than letting her not always be the best at something.

It just occurred to me today that I really don't think it makes a ton of sense that Ahsoka becomes "Fulcrum" in terms of being a spy.

Ahsoka, who was literally told by someone who knew her well, that she "lacked subtlety" because she's being trained by someone who also lacks subtlety and canonically has a hard time keeping secrets.

Ahsoka, who tends to fuck up any time she's in a situation that requires subterfuge or spy work.

If she'd actually been getting trained by Obi-Wan, I might buy it, since Obi-Wan is canonically pretty good at undercover work when he wants to be. But Anakin is not, and I don't think TCW really shows us that Ahsoka would truly be much different.

It would make more sense to me that Ahsoka would work similarly to Cal Kestis in Jedi: Survivor where he's openly fighting against the Empire and they all know who he is and that he's survived. Ahsoka could be intentionally using herself and the Empire's interest in her to distract from the Rebellion's other work, perhaps, paint a target on her own back so the Empire doesn't draw one on other people.

She just doesn't make sense to me as a spy.

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under the Floorboards (Pt. VI)

(Technoblade X Reader) Pt. I, Pt. II, Pt. III, Pt. IIII, Pt. V, Pt. VI, Pt. VII

    You had barely gotten any sleep that night, it was a shitty time to not sleep but you couldn’t control insomnia. Most nights it was Techno who was the insomniac, he would spend hours laying awake just staring at you waiting for the voices to quiet down for the night. He was in awe of your beauty and grace, and the nighttime moonlight only ever enhanced those features. You couldn’t help but understand what he was talking about as you stared at his features in the moonlight darkness of your room. His hair was out of its typical braid and framed his head like a pink halo, you felt his arms tighten around your waist as you tucked his hair behind his ear. The tension in his brow released feeling your touch brush against his skin and you smiled adoringly at the sight. His nose nuzzles up against your neck and your smile split into a wide grin, god he was so soft. You felt his fingers spread out against the small of your back and pull you flush against him, his breathing changed and you frowned. 

You didn’t expect anything less than the blood god to be a light sleeper. He always needed to be on his feet, ready for any attack. 

   “I didn’t mean to wake you,” your voice was barely above a whisper and he made a tired noise of confirmation. 

   “It’s okay,” He yawned and it echoed across the walls of the house like a lion’s roar. “It’s rare when you can’t sleep, what’s on your mind?” Technoblade shifted a little so he could get a good look at you in his arms, he could never get over how small you were in comparison to him. You flipped on your back much to his displeasure and dragged your hands down your face; a sigh came from your nose before you answered,

   “Thinking about tomorrow is all. Just nervous, typical stuff I think, I don’t trust Dream fully. He gives me bad vibes.” You said honestly, your (e/c) eyes staring up at the ceiling even from the angle Techno was looking at you he could tell they were sad. God, he wasn’t good at comforting people things like this made him feel like such a shitty person. 

   “I don’t trust him either. But, we have mutual goals and a mutual understanding both of which are hard to come by.” He explained briefly looking thoughtful, “the bottom line is this needs to happen. I don’t want you to worry because Phil and I will have your back no matter what, we look out for each other.” You flopped on top of him and he let out a grunt of displeasure,

   “I’m worried about you dummy.” 

   “Technoblade never dies baby what are you on about?” He let out a laugh as you rested your elbows on his chest, his hands found themselves on your back holding you close. He watched you roll your eyes dramatically and pinch at his ears, he clicked his tongue at you. “Keep pinching my ears like that and we’re gonna have to fight it out,” his lips twitched into a fond smile as you sat upon his hips holding up your fists. 

   “Then let’s fight cause I’m not gonna stop. They’re just too pinchable big guy. Your little piglin features are precious and I’m gonna dote over them.” His face burned red and he groaned loudly, his head landing against the pillows with a thump. 

   “It’s just the ears, teeth, and the height. You’re being gross.” 

   “Fuck you I’m being romantic.” 

   “Which is gross and cringe if you didn’t know.” 

   “Fine then I guess you won’t be getting any kisses from me for a long while.” 

   “Now hold on a minute let's talk about this like adults,” You laughed loudly and smirked at Techno’s attempts to keep cool about the situation. You leaned down and peppered his face with light kisses, he hummed pleasantly at the sensation. 

   “I’ll let it slide this time but watch your words.” Techno gave a sleepy nod of his head, and you smiled tenderly at the man. You shuffled around and curled up against his side, he adjusted himself to hold you close, “I love you Techno.” 

   “Love you too princess.” He pecked your forehead before he closed his eyes and fell back into a light sleep. You took a deep breath and buried your face in his chest listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart, this time however you weren’t far behind him.

~~~

Technoblade was up as soon as the sun rose over the hills and spilled into your bedroom. He made sure to maneuver around you so that he wouldn’t wake you as soon as he sat up in bed. He stretched his arms behind his back until he heard the satisfying pop of his bones, he scratched at his head and tousled his pink hair. Techno wanted an early start, make sure everything they needed for the day was prepared and ready to go, he needed to brew a shit ton of potions. He also needed to make sure you had an appropriate set of armor, that’s not even mentioning the Withers he needed to gather. A lot to do and so little time to get it all done, he wanted to let you sleep as much as possible considering you didn’t sleep last night. He slid out of bed and grabbed his hairbrush, one thing he could attribute to meeting you was his hygiene habits. Techno always used to keep his hair in a braid and never touch it, it wasn’t until you had first run your hands through his hair that he realized how much of a problem that was. You were very nice about it but he could tell you were trying not to gag when he told you he couldn’t remember the last time it was unbraided. You assured him that was going to change and helped him nurse his hair back to life, whatever you did it was magical. His hair was just as soft as yours, healthy and shiny he couldn’t let you down by not taking care of it. However, since he was going into battle he threw his hair into a quick braid letting it fall over his shoulder before he majestically sat his crown on top of his head. 

Technoblade stared at himself in the mirror and traced his rough hands over the scars on his face and neck, he had no idea what the fuck you saw in him. Honestly, who cares though because by some miracle you love him for him and that’s all that matters. Technoblade continued to get dressed for the day and only stopped when you began to stir under the covers. He watched you sit up and give the cutest yawn he’s ever heard in his life his eyes softened considerably seeing you look around hazily for him. Spotting him you opened your arms and made grabby hands, he let out a deep chuckle and wrapped his arms around you. 

‘Simp. Stop spamming simp. He is a simp though, look at him melt. Shut up.’ 

   “Chat shut it...Morning Princess,” He kissed your lips softly and he felt you lazily kiss him back, still sluggish from sleep. 

   “Morning Bubs. Why didn’t you wake me up?” You complained from his arms only pulling away to look him in the eyes. He always thought you had the most gorgeous eyes, why was he feeling so lovey-dovey today? 

‘Cause, you could lose her today. Her lives are unknown. What if she only has one like Phil and has no idea and she dies? E.’ 

Those thoughts and ideas chilled him to the bone he swallowed thickly, “You sure I can’t change your mind about today?” He watched your brow furrow and you kissed your teeth,

   “No way. Till the end of the line remember?”

   “Oh, I remember. In that case,” Technoblade pulled you to your feet much to your surprise, “You come back to me uninjured, we get married.” He watched your jaw drop and your eyes widen to insane sizes. “If you want obviously, no pressure.” 

‘WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. AWWWWW SO ROMANTIC! SIMP. SHE’S GOING TO SAY NO. LOSER. CRINGE. GUYS STOP HE’S BEING SWEET!’ 

He felt panic surge through him when you didn’t respond to him for a good few minutes, oh he fucked up. Technoblade never dies, more like Technoblade’s about to throw himself into lava three fucking times. 

   “Yes! Holy shit yes you idiot! Damn now that’s some motivation!” You laughed in disbelief and you bounced on your toes. Technoblade let out a breath of relief, he took a risk and it paid off, he was Technoblade after all so of course, it did. He wasn’t worried at all. You grabbed the fluff of his cape and pulled him down to kiss him passionately, his hands grabbed your hips and lifted you into the air. He knew it wasn’t official yet, as he said you had to come back okay, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate at least a little bit early. He kissed down your face and listened as you giggled, he could tell your face was turning red by its heat, “Okay goober we gotta get ready. There are crimes we gotta commit and I still need to shower.”  

   “Nonsense you smell like lavender and’ all that other girly stuff.” Technoblade scoffed but pulled away as you requested. A smile fell across your face and he felt you poke his nose fondly, “I’ll be gathering potion materials, if you need me just holler.” On that note, he headed down the ladder to gather what he needed for the day. Phil would probably be joining momentarily and he’d put him on potion making duty and also give him a totem of undying. His stomach churned a little as he placed water bottles inside the brewing stands, his singular totem of undying. 

He had already decided he’d give it to Phil, if he didn’t he felt like it would be a betrayal of all the man had done for him in the past. 

Technoblade turned towards the window and saw Phil approaching his home from the sky, he opened the window and gave him a little wave. Phil smiled back at him and climbed the stairs to get inside the house, “Hello. Are you both ready for today?” Phil looked around seemingly trying to spot you, Technoblade pointed upstairs and he nodded in understanding. 

   “I wouldn’t say we’re ready exactly.” He let out a huff, “I’m trying to make triple the potions before Dream gets here, plus I wanna make sure (Y/N)’s weapons and armor are enchanted properly.” Phil hummed thoughtfully opening up some of Technoblade’s chests, only mentally gagging at the disorganization. 

   “I got your back brewing the potions, go double-check everything’s ready for (Y/N), I know you worry ‘bout her mate.” Techno had to turn away because he felt heat flare in his face, he heard Phil begin to snicker and he glowered. 

   “Imagine thinking I care about others, cringe.” 

   “Oh really? I’ll just go tell (Y/N) that then-”

   “Eh? No need to do that. I don’t appreciate being framed. Anyway, potions Phil, potions you need to focus on what’s important here.” Another laugh came from Phil as he rolled his eyes fondly at his friend. 

   “On it Techno.” 

Both men got to work brewing potions and double-checking weaponry, not just for you but for all of them. Well, all of you minus Dream the homeless man can fend for himself. In the meantime, Technoblade gave Phil his totem of undying just in case today went fucking wrong. 

   “Alright boys, what do you need me to do?” You announced climbing down the ladder, you had made sure your hair was out of the way so it wouldn’t be a distraction. Technoblade smiled as he watched the emerald he gave you those months ago bounce against your neck. 

   “Go make sure you have enough ender pearls and exp bottles for your armor. Is all your armor enchanted properly?” 

   “Obviously,” You rolled your eyes dramatically “as if you’d ever let me get away with subpar armor.” Technoblade held up his hands in defensively, 

   “Just making sure. You can’t blame me for wanting you protected.” 

   “Daw.”

   “Shut up Phil.” Technoblade watched a smile form across your face as you covered your mouth with your hand. He was just happy you were laughing, “grab your weapons lemme check them.” You nodded your head and kissed his cheek tenderly, he normally wasn’t one for PDA but Phil was a different story. You handed over your weapons to him and he looked over them, he started with your sword that was aptly titled The Wanderer’s Trade all the enchantments seemed to line up properly, he also double-checked your ax to see it lined up too. “Remember their shields go up you use your ax.” He watched as you nodded in response, you weren’t dumb he knew that but he couldn’t help but want to double-check strategies with you. 

   “I know you trained me well,” You hummed fondly, as he handed you back your ax. He watched as you twirled it in your hands, “Good ole’ Foster Mom won’t let me down.” Both Phil and Techno chuckled at your response, Technoblade gave you a loving pat on the head before sending you off to gather some more glowstone. The three of you spent the rest of the morning gathering supplies, and as the afternoon rolled around Technoblade felt himself grow more and more frantic as the time ticked closer to doomsday. He began to ramble a bit about needing to prepare things especially after Dream showed up early and announced they were going early into L’manberg. Dream explained that he was going to need about twenty minutes to prepare the TNT for the cannons, which meant (Y/N), Phil, and Technoblade himself needed to stall for that amount of time. 

That meant the Withers needed to be in play. 

Technoblade distributed Wither skulls and the soul sand between the three of you. 

He watched as you stared at the skull in your hands gently cradling it before putting it into your inventory. He hoped you were being honest and were okay with what was about to happen. 

   “Now we really have to go.” Dream tried to urge your little group to speed up and get this show on the road. Techno nodded his head and clicked his tongue against his teeth, 

   “Alright, first things first let we need to get the hound army.” He watched your entire face come alight, 

   “Hound army? You didn’t tell me we had puppies!” He felt you grip his arm with the enthusiasm of a child, he winced a little bit at your eagerness. Techno glanced at Dream who was just as unreadable as always with his mask but Techno could sense his patience with you running thin. 

   “I didn’t wanna tell you cause there’s a good chance we lose like all of them today.” He watched you deflate but nod in understanding, “so don’t get attached okay?” 

   “I won’t!” 

   “Let’s go. Time’s ticking.” Dream commanded tapping his boots on the floor, “Let’s get those dogs and get to L’manberg.” The four of you grabbed your weapons and headed down the steps of Technoblade’s house, hopefully, you all will come back to see it again. 

---

Phil walked by your side as Technoblade led all of you through the sewers, Dream was close to your boyfriend’s side almost like he was trying to memorize the proper twists and turns. However, something told you he already knew this place like the back of his hand. 

   “What’s on your mind?” Phil asked you to keep his voice low to not draw attention to yourselves. Smiling over at him you gave a thoughtful hum, 

   “Just the typical worries I suppose. Hoping we win and no one who we care about dies, like the kids you know. I know I can’t control you, Techno, or Dream but if it came down to it I won’t be able to hurt them.” The look you gave him was nothing less than vulnerable and it touched his heart with a soft sigh he responded to you, 

   “I know it’s not specifically in Techno or my agenda to slaughter Tommy and Tubbo. We just want to take down the corrupt government that’s poisoning its citizens. As long as it stands those kids can never be happy.”

   “I’m with you there. Hell, I don’t think Techno and I could date if we didn’t share those ideologies. They made a child president for Pete’s sake I mean no wonder it’s falling apart.” You took a deep breath and nudged the old man beside you. “Even so my priorities are with you and Technoblade. We’re all fucking coming home if I have any say in the matter,” Phil gave a laugh and smiled at you. 

   “That’s a fucking relief to hear. Wasn’t aware you could control death.”

   “Says the man with a totem of undying.” 

   “Guys we’re here,” Technoblade called standing beside a wall, he looked at all of you and opened the stone with his pickaxe. “Meet the hounds,” He mused leading you inside, you were trying desperately to keep your excitement at bay. 

   “Holy shit is it loud.” Dream commented with a disbelieving laugh hearing all the dogs bark in excitement upon seeing their master. Technoblade scratched a few of them behind the ears before commanding all of them to stand, it was insane. 

   “That’s so many dogs they’re gonna be so confused.” You commented, 

   “You know what you should do?” Dream mused, turning to look at you, “splash them with invisibility.” 

   “Already ahead of you,” Technoblade mused as Philza began to splash a good chunk of them. “They’re gonna be so confused it’s gonna be so funny. When they get hit by nothing, it’ll be like I have a forcefield.” 

   “Let's get to L’manberg and surprise them first.” Dream motioned for all of you to follow, and you did without hesitation. Technoblade took your hand and squeezed it tightly, he watched as Phil and Dream went on ahead and he turned to give you a soft kiss. 

   “Don’t die on me, okay princess? You get into trouble protecting yourself, run if you have to. I don’t give a shit I just want you alive.” Technoblade commanded you, even wagged a finger in front of your face. A finger you grabbed and pressed a soft kiss to, 

   “Same to you. I’ll see you on the other side.” Technoblade smiled adoringly at you and you both moved to catch up with Dream and Phil. You pulled out The Wanderer’s Trade and made sure Foster Mom, your ax, and the materials to craft your Withers were at the ready. 

    “(Y/N), Phil when I shoot fireworks into the sky start spawning the Withers. I’m going straight in with the hounds.” He watched both of you nod, Dream let out a hum of acknowledgment. 

   “Sounds good to me. Remember I shouldn’t need more than twenty minutes, I’ll send Technoblade the signal.” 

   “Yes sir.” You gave a teasing salute and no one else seemed amused by that except for the green man himself. 

   “I could get used to that.”

   “Get the fuck out of here you homeless Teletubby.” Techno almost snarled at the man, while the man in question flipped your boyfriend off. Even Phil could tell he had a sickening smirk spread across his face, whether he meant it or not if it bothered the three of you he was gonna continue with it. 

    “Phil, I’ll sneak over to the houses, you gonna stay in this general vicinity?” You quickly changed the subject, the man nodded in response. 

   “I’ll probably stay on top of the bee sanctuary, I figure two people in the air and one on the ground will be a good call.” You nodded taking one last glance at Technoblade before sneaking off to prepare the high ground. 

---

Technoblade sprinted right into the battle once everyone realized you all were there early. He felt the pressure begin to build in his head, as the voices began to buzz with excitement, they all demanded blood and vengeance. He wasn’t losing any lives today but that didn’t mean anyone else was, it was hilarious the moment he hit anyone his dogs would be at their heels tearing them apart. He stayed on top of everyone, he made sure to keep an eye on his hearts while slicing through his opponents. As they got distracted by his dogs he would come up behind them and drive his sword into their chest. His laughter echoed in the air as the names of the dead appeared in his head, he heard their pleading for a cease-fire and decided he didn’t give a single shit. Technoblade couldn’t find the energy to care for their pleas, even as his dogs began to thin rapidly. There was blood and there was pandemonium and he was living for it, sure there were a few close calls. Not that he would ever admit it, but Sapnap got him good in the shoulder and the back of the leg, almost leaving an opening for him to land a finishing blow. However, he recovered with no problem, he always did, obviously. 

Technoblade booked it away from the fighting and sent the firework rocket into the sky. Almost as soon as he did, he set up his own Wither. The entire battlefield glowed red, white, and blue and he watched people’s faces morph into absolute terror. He heard what sounded like Tommy let out a terrified scream, he had no idea what he was in for if he was afraid of one Wither. Then again, Tommy was the only one who knew about the vault so realistically he shouldn’t have been surprised. 

It was up to Phil and (Y/N) now. 

   “Is that Phil? What the hell?! He’s spawning a Wither!” Someone shouted and Technoblade’s face lit up in delight. He watched Phil send out his Withers before flying away as to not immediately get targeted by them. Technoblade turned his head towards the houses and saw you place your Withers down as well. He thought you looked gorgeous spawning in the Withers, it pulled him out of his blood lust just for a moment, the wicked smile on your face was stunning. He watched as you laughed tossing your hair back, the way it framed your face was remarkable, he thought you looked like Eris. 

An arrow that whizzed by his face and it snapped him out of his ogling, he turned back to rubble only to come face to face with Tommy and Tubbo. 

   “Technoblade! Stop this!” Tommy began to plead as they stood on the opposite end of the battlefield, he did pause to stare at the children. 

   “Please!” Tubbo begged from his side and Technoblade grit his teeth in frustration, after all this time they still didn’t understand his ideals or why he was so mad in the first place. 

   “You betrayed us Technoblade! You betrayed me! Just fucking stop this! Help us kill the Withers and stop Dream. All you’ve ever done is betray us, since we met you that’s all you’ve done. It all started with you killing Tubbo at the festival! Just stop this!-” He felt his blood turn to ice and he turned to face Tommy pointing his crossbow at the two boys. He watched Tubbo flinch and grab onto Tommy’s arm, clearly traumatized from the last time the weapon was pointed at him. Technoblade bared his teeth and felt his face begin to morph into that of a full pig, something that only happened when he was pissed to hell and losing control of himself. 

   “Remember when I was sitting there, alone, against the whole government -- and you and Wilbur just sat there on the sidelines and watched? Did you step in? Did you step in? Were you guys the ones that stepped in and said, "Don't worry, Technoblade, we know you're in a high-pressure situation, but we'd fight the world for you, Technoblade''? No! You guys watched. You know what I did, yesterday when you were surrounded by thirty people? When the whole world was against you? I walked in. I was willing to fight all of them for you, Tommy. I would've been there. That is the difference between us." The man roared his voice carrying over the battleground, catching the attention of a few others who were still trying to kill the Withers nearby. For a brief moment Tommy looked broken up by Technoblade’s words but he pushed it aside with a shake of his head. He was about to argue back when the faintest of hissing sounds came from above. Everyone turned towards the sky, a flash of lightning illuminated the scene above them, Dream was standing on top of the obsidian grid. Technoblade made sure to take a few steps away so he wasn’t right underneath the first bit of dropping TNT, 

   “No,” Tubbo’s voice wobbled “What’s he doing, he can't-” 

Almost like Tubbo predicted the outcome TNT began to rain down in the dead center of New L’manberg, the panicked shouts from the citizens only increased tenfold. The falling explosives spread out in the grid-like pattern Dream had created, making sure to hit every square inch of the once great country. 

   “Tubbo RUN!” Tommy grabbed his arm and pulled this best friends away just in time to not get injured by the first round of explosions that went off in the middle of town. Technoblade made quick work of dodging the falling pieces of TNT as he flew up onto the obsidian grid his Trident in hand. He watched gleefully as L’manberg was sent up in smoke, everything from the houses to whatever the fuck the L’mantree Dream mentioned was, was blown to shreds. Personally, Technoblade didn’t want Dream to stop until he saw bedrock at the bottom of the pit. He looked over and saw Phil smiling widely at him, the man gave him a clear thumbs-up spreading his wings wide. He could tell Phil was proud of him, he was proud of himself. 

   “Where’s (Y/N) mate?” He called out to him and the bliss he was feeling suddenly crumbled into pieces around him. Technooblade whipped around towards the last place he spotted his girlfriend, on top of the houses that were now blown to smithereens. He turned back towards Phil, panic in his eyes, Phil’s smile was immediately wiped off his face and he hopped down off the grid and into the rubble. Technoblade wasn’t far behind in his panicked searching, there was no sign of her anywhere and he was starting to lose his composure. Even as the TNT stopped falling around them and everyone began to head home (if they had one left to return to) he still couldn’t find her. That was until an unfamiliar voice called out to him, 

   “Mr. Technoblade!” The boy was half enderman and bordering on seven feet tall, he turned to face him and he swallowed thickly, “Miss (Y/N), she needs help!” Technoblade didn’t even respond he just let the Enderboy lead him to where she was, god please don’t be dead, please. The boy stood over her, wringing his hands nervously, a jacket was laid over her body and she was dragged far away from the wreckage. Technoblade froze as he watched the boy kneel and pull the jacket away, bandages were haphazardly tied around her waist and her breathing seems shallow. The half enderman looked up at him and swallowed thickly, “I found her under the rubble of my house.” 

   “I can handle it from here. Get out of here kid.” His voice was a low grumble and Ranboo hesitated for a moment before nodding, he knelt, picked up his other belongings, and headed off in the direction of the forest. Technoblade knelt beside you, his hands hovering over your injury, he felt his palms clam up as he opened and closed them. “You better not die on me princess, you promised,” he opened up the bandages on your waist, all things considered, the boy didn’t do that bad of a job patching you up. There weren't a lot of medical supplies on the battlefield so he did what he could with what he had, she must’ve gotten cut by a stray piece of metal as she fell, that’s what it looked like to him at least. Other than the jagged cut across her waist her ankle was twisted in a way that certainly wasn’t normal, his princess was beaten to hell. He swallowed thickly and began to rewrap her wound a bit more tightly so she didn’t bleed out, he felt a gust of wind beside him and he knew Phil was by his side. 

   “Fuck.” He murmured kneeling to set her ankle properly, the old man licked his lips before setting her ankle with a harsh tug. (Y’N)’s eyes shot open and she let out a shriek. “Sorry kid, sorry,” Her breathing went from shallow to heavy and frantic. Technoblade reached forward and grabbed your hand tight. 

   “Hey princess stay with me okay?” 

   “Bubs.” You whined painfully, “I guess I fucked up huh?” 

   “Only a lot,” Technoblade stated bluntly and watched as you let out a wheezing laugh that devolved into a cough. He frowned and took his other hand to card it through your hair, “Just take a deep breath we’ll get you home and all patched up.” 

   “Guess we aren’t getting married huh.”

   “Fucking what-” Phil choked his eyes blowing wide, jaw-dropping Techno’s face flushed red in response. 

   “Half dead and you still find a way to torture me.” You laughed again as Phil only shook his head in disbelief, 

   “That is so scuffed. Go take her home, she’s gonna need stitches and a splint for her leg. Make sure she gets home safe.” Phil placed his hand on Technoblade’s shoulder and squeezed it before kissing your forehead softly, “You’re gonna be fine.”

   “Obviously. Mr. Minecraft, would you expect anything less from me?” 

   “Nothing less,” He smiled fondly as Technoblade cradled you in his arms before hurrying away down the path. Phil stood up tall a frown evident on his features, he turned around to catch Raboo peaking out from behind the treeline. “Hey, Ranboo how’re you doing?”

   “Um. I’m alright. Fine, I’m fine, is (Y/N) going to be alright?” He stepped out from behind the tree patting his hands on his pants a bit nervously. Phil eyed the kid up and down for a moment and he cleared his throat, “I found her she was really, really bad.” 

   “She’s going to be just fine, Techno’s looking after her.” 

   “Good, good.” He nodded the tall mans shoulders seemed to relax and Phil couldn’t help but look at him with pity. 

   “Ranboo, do you have a place to stay?” 

   “Ugh...you know what no I don’t actually.” Phil smiled over at the boy and held out his hand, his multicolored eyes widened a little as he interlocked his hands with the father beside him.

. 

.

. 

: )

~~~

Thanks for reading guys! I think this is the longest chapter yet, let me know your thoughts, feelings and opinions! : ) 

[adelior]

Name: Unconditionally

Author: R. Adelio

Genre: Romance, Minecraft, Comedy, Fluff

Main Lead: Technoblade, Dreamwastaken, DreamXD

Female Lead: Reader

Chapter: 2

Special Addition: Tchnomaid

Letters: 7,463

Tags: Kissing, Deep Kisses, Fluff

<- ->

You felt Niki wrap her arms around you, including Tommy and Tubbo. Fundy stood by the entrance with Eret leaning against the wall. "We thought you'd never come back" Niki admitted, tears pouring out of her eyes. "What do you mean? Did something happen?" Tommy pushed himself away from the embrace and looked at Wil, giving him a slight nod.

"Dream has taken away our traveling rights to the Nether. We only found out not too long ago, and when Niki told me you went to get spider eyes from the piglin market I was scared you were going to get trapped in there forever."

"And this is all because I trespassed their fucking territory?!" You questioned, clenching your fists. "Well," Fundy started, stroking his fingers through his hair. "Dream has always been seen as someone strict and demanding. I'm not surprised he's doing this. If we want to gain his trust back we need to go contact... him." He elaborated, making sure to exaggerate the last word.

"Him?" You, Tommy, and Tubbo asked in unison, confused on what Fundy meant. "Men who are on neither side, with odd genetics." Wilbur pinched the bridge of his nose, seeming disappointed that they'd have to go that far as to contact these 'Men'

"Oh!" Tommy perked up, instantly standing. "You mean Techno and Phil?! I haven't fucking seen them in ages! I wonder how they're doing" Eret cleared his throat, gaining everyone's attention. "This might just be a rumor but I heard that they are no longer staying in the inn. They moved to a cold tundra where barely anyone inhabits"

"Tundra... We'll have to look more into it." Wilbur shrugged his jacket off, gently wrapping it around you. You looked into his eyes, you could see a mix of emotions, but you weren't too sure on what they were. "Everyone, except for [Name], get ready. We're going to be visiting an old friend."

"Wait a second, why can't I come-" You stood up, only to be stopped by Wilbur himself. "[Name], you still need to finish brewing the potions. Besides you don't know the vicinity well better than we do, you've only been here for a year and a hal-"

"But I don't want to feel useless Wil, please let me come with you I'll do anythi-" The brunette lifted his hand, causing you to stop in place as the rest of the group walked out of the nether portal room. Tubbo looked back, giving you a compassionate smile before following everybody else. "It's best if you stay here. That's an order as your Leader."

"Wh.." You stood there, completely in shock. Never have you experienced Wilbur giving you orders that you were against, especially because it made the both of you seem distant. "I'm sorry." Was all he said before walking away.

The rest of the day was spent alone in your office, lazily brewing the potions that you were ordered to finish. You understood why he made that decision, you knew better than to question his motives. But even so, leaving you alone in this empty house was suffocating.

You darted your gaze over to his leather jacket, the one he gently placed on your shoulders. It was enough to make your heart skip a beat. 'No, I shouldn't' Shaking your head, you put the ingredients away and placed the finished potion bottles into the chest.

Deciding that you should spend the rest of your day exploring the facility, you shrugged your sweater on and turned to follow a path that led to a cave once you left the building. Something that has been catching your attention ever since you arrived. You've never really explored this route, nor did you question anybody about it.

"Do not enter.." You mumbled as you softly swiped your hand over the carvings of the wooden sign. "Shit, then this is probably dangerous." Stepping back, you were about to turn around but you hear a faint voice coming from deep inside the cave, urging you to go further in.

"Come here, human." The voice singsonged, it was comforting yet deep, a voice that sounded similar to the one that Clay had. You looked back as a soft breeze escaped the entrance of the cavern. Usually, when facing obscure and suspicious areas such as this one, you tend to stir away, not wanting to cause any trouble.

But this is different, the voice is so soothing to the point your legs moved on their own. Panic surged through your veins, unable to stop yourself from going deeper into the cave. It was dark, you couldn't see anything but a singular light at the end of the tunnel.

"Good girl.." The masculine voice praised, your cheeks warmed, eyes tightly shut. You refused to see what was beyond you, feeling the presence of something much more superior than yourself. "What is the matter? Are you afraid of me?" It questioned, causing you to vigorously shake your head.

The being chuckled, crouching to your level until his face was close to yours. "I've never seen a beautiful human such as yourself before." He brushed a singular finger over your closed eyelids, only tempting you to open them. "What the hell are you..-" You asked, gulping as you feel its hand travel towards your neck.

You couldn't move, you were unable to lift a single hand. And even if you did you don't think you'd have the courage to hit whatever was in front of you. "It is futile for you to know who I am, human."

The both of you stayed in silence for a few seconds, until you feel the warmth of someone pressing their lips against yours. You quickly opened your eyes, only to be met with a dazzling emerald gaze. "What are y-" Once your lips parted, he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into your mouth where your muscles danced.

"Sleep my gem," You heard his voice in your head, "We will meet again soon." Darkness, the next second you saw nothing but the void. "This is simply a see you next time gift." He whispered against your mouth, a smirk breaking out.

Your body jolted forward, causing you to wake up from your slumber. You quickly looked around, scanning your surroundings, it was your bedroom. "What the hell, was that all just a dream?" The realization hit you when you blinked the tiredness away. 'I JUST MADE OUT WITH SOME RANDOM MAN IN MY DREAM-'

You slouched forward, pounding your fist against the bed. 'WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME-' The more you think about how the kiss made you feel the more your face burned. "UGHHHHHHHHHHH" Throwing one of your pillows towards the door, you didn't expect Wilbur to show up, the cushion hitting his face.

"Oh shit-"

Wil stared at you in confusion, pillow in hand. "Is something wrong?" He asked, walking to where you sat on your bed. "No, don't worry about it" You lied, darting your eyes anywhere but the man who you crushed on. The feeling of guilt surging through you as you recalled the 'dream'

"It doesn't look like it." He sighed, sitting at the end of your bed. "[Name], did something happen when we were gone?"

"HM?" You snapped your head towards him, causing the brunette to jump a bit. "Oh nothing at all, hahaaahhah" Awkwardly laughing, you forced out a cough. "Why do you ask-"

"Well... When we arrived you were passed out in your office. You seemed drained so I carried you here. It's been 19 minutes."

"Oh, I was just tired there's no need to worry!" Sitting there with a dumbfounded expression, the image of the man you kissed in your dream flashed in your head. 'Why am I so shameless..-' You silently cursed yourself for imagining it once more, a random man out of all things. Despite your reassuring words, Wil looked at you as if he had something on his mind.

"If you say so."

<- ->

ec: @quacobs (instagram)

[sullustangin]

Darth Marr and Satele Shan:  Names and Priorities

I’ve reached the point in my Yavin fic that I’m starting to use Marr’s POV on occasion.  One of the things I’ve been chewing on (likely to the annoyance of others) has been the Marr-Satele-Theron dynamic during the Yavin 4 op.  It’s clear that Satele and Marr have put aside differences and have become friends (as much as a Force ghost and a self-exiled Jedi Master can be friends) by Chapter 12 of KotFE. 

I give credit to @swtorpadawan for posting about Satele on Yavin 4 a few months ago and being willing to have continued discourse about the post -- thank you.  In comments and reblogs, there’s been discussion about how to interpret Satele’s references to Theron during the op and her motivations for why she does this. 

This is a spin-off of that post, since I’ll be focusing more on the dynamic between Marr and the Shans instead of Theron and Satele. 

During the Yavin op, Theron is consistently referred to as Theron, not as Agent Shan or as Shan.  The issue of his last name is avoided.   A few people (including me) have the headcanon that ‘Shan’ is a common name in the galaxy, like Smith or Patel or Garcia would be on our world; two people named Shan does not a family connection make, necessarily.  It would explain why Theron doesn’t have a code name (though he jokingly? complains about it on first meeting). 

And yet, Satele avoids using the name in reference to Theron.  So does Marr.  And Theron doesn’t insist on being referred to by his last name, even though his peer, Lana Beniko, is referred to as ‘Beniko’ by Marr. (Satele never addresses Lana using her name.)

Why the dance? 

Honestly, when I try to reverse-engineer dev!logic, in terms of the game design for Yavin 4, I’d guess it was done to help the player differentiate between Grand Master Shan and Agent Shan.  And maybe that’s all it is: calling Theron “Theron” just keeps the player from getting confused, especially if the player isn’t a Jedi and doesn’t know Satele; and/or skipped the Forged Alliances quests and thus doesn’t know Theron.

Within the universe, however, what’s an explanation a player can come up with?

The Spies in Question

Theron’s name was broadcast across the galaxy as a wanted man for killing Colonel Darok.  He was to be apprehended on sight, but Theron was a spy; spy agencies to this day rarely let any images of their active duty agents be circulated, even if they do go rogue or defect to the other side.  Theron’s image in direct connection to his name and job as SIS agent would be on a need-to-know basis.  This has led me to headcanon that Director Trant was well-aware of Theron going off the grid; in fact, he aided and abetted it.

Lana, on the other hand, was a known member of the Sphere of Military Offense.  She commanded troops on Hoth.  She had a known face, and there was an Imperial bounty contract on her head, per Theron at Manaan.  If anything, Lana was in as much danger as Jakarro; someone could try to claim the bounty on her head, since the bounties weren’t lifted til the end of the Yavin op.

And yet, Theron’s name was the unspeakable one. 

Satele and Theron

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I feel that the dynamic between Theron and Satele is not that of son and mother; both of them have gotten past that decision.  Rather, it’s more similar to a child who was given up for adoption looking for some sort of acknowledgement from his birth family -- it’s not love.  It’s not approval.  It’s.... complicated.  Acknowledgement of existence.  Acknowledgement that the decision had impact on Theron well beyond his first year of life.  Acknowledgement that Satele hurt Jace. 

I’ve interpreted Theron’s bristling at the use of the term “my agent” to be more directed at the possessiveness of the word, yet how far apart they still are, despite the biological connections.  Technically, Yavin 4 was the first time they worked on an op together.  This was their first professional collaboration.  They haven’t seen each other socially, they can’t talk about their issues/relationship/whatever.....and they have to save the galaxy together.

Giving up Theron doesn’t mean Satele felt nothing. She privately struggles with what she did and how it turned out -- still does, based on 6.2.   However, she, like Jace and Theron, believe in serving the cause at great personal cost.  Seeing Theron beat to hell after Rishi bothered her -- it would bother anyone with any sense of compassion (which she does have).  Theron got the beatdown he did because he was taken by the Revanites.  Revan attempted to convince Theron to join him on Yavin 4 by invoking the idea that they are flesh and blood -- family.

Pretty sure Revan wasn’t talking about the Malcom side.  Satele knew that.  Was there a sense of protectiveness for Theron because of what happened immediately before Yavin 4?  I think so, yes, but it’s not motherly.

Theron’s experience on Rishi probably made Satele hyperaware that if Theron was of interest to the Revanites, then the Empire would doubly interested in Theron if they knew that he was not only an heir of Revan, but that the Grand Master of the Jedi Order was his biological mother.   Referring to him as “my agent” may be Satele’s way to avoid using any part of his name on Yavin 4.

I’m willing to bet, regardless of any efforts to ignore or conceal Theron’s name, that Marr quickly figured out that the agent who managed to outfox Revan, resist torture, get Marr’s attention, and unravel an intergalactic conspiracy was something special to the Republic.  Odds were that this agent had acted against the Empire.

Marr would be interested.

The History of Darth Marr and Satele Shan

Prior to Yavin 4, Marr and Satele had most recently squabbled over Makeb in the Hutt Cartel expansion through their various operatives.  When Marr saw Satele on the Imp side Battle of Rishi, he bowed.  He respected her and she respected him.  I didn’t get any other impression from their interactions. They saw each other as equals, though on rival sides; that creates tension, since a fight between them would be a draw or mutually assured destruction.  It’s highly likely they fought against each other in the previous Galactic War (which I’ll talk about below). 

Marr was born in 3702 BBY, Satele in 3699 BBY.  They’re about the same age, and they ascended almost equally quickly when the Sith returned in 3681 -- Satele is 18, Marr is 21.  I have spoken about how Satele and Jace (who seems to be somewhere between 16 and 20 in the trailer) were essentially just kids when the conflict started.  So was Marr.

The big difference, in terms of how their characters are constructed, is that we have the end product of Marr.  Period.  We don’t know what his name was before he took on the name ‘Darth Marr.’  We know nothing about his family, his relationships, his struggles.  As Marr said later to the player in KotFE, he wanted to be a symbol to the Empire.  Marr did not let himself be just a man.

Darth Marr is not the singular leader of the Sith.  Marr is the head of the Sphere of Defense of the Empire for decades, and as of the Battle of Corellia and the death of Darth Decimus, he also becomes the head of the Sphere of Military Strategy.  With 2 of Military Spheres in his grasp, Marr was the de facto leader of the armed forces of the Sith Empire.  The Sphere of Military Offense passed from Baras to Arho and then to Arkous after Ilum.  When Arkous is killed by the player’s character, there is no indication as to who was the next head; that Sphere is never spoken of again in-game.  We may assume Marr took hold of that.  Either way, he has become the de facto leader of the Sith Empire.  His voice, his robes and mask -- immediately recognizable to the whole galaxy.

The creators of content for SWTOR took the opposite approach to Satele. We can read about how her mother Tasiele was forced into exile when Satele was still a child.  We meet Satele at 18 in a SWTOR trailer during the first Sith incursion at Korriban.  We see her in comics fighting against the Empire.  We see her at the Battle of Alderaan against Malgus.  In Annihilation,we see bits and pieces of her falling in love with Jace Malcom and hoping she doesn’t get too attached... until a pair of permanent complications occur in 3667 BBY:   Jace was severely maimed in the Battle of Alderaan, and Satele got pregnant.  Jace’s injuries made him a much harder person than the soldier Satele met in 3681 BBY; he scared her with his hatred of the Empire. 

I’ll take a moment here to say that Satele wasn’t dumb or naive when she made the decision about Theron.  Satele was at least 32 years old, possibly 33 by the time Theron was born in 3666 BBY. She wasn’t a teen having a knee-jerk “oh noes, he’s evil” moment.  She had been in a constant state of war for 15 years when she got pregnant.   It’s in that context that Satele was concerned that Jace’s hatred could drag their child to the Dark Side... but also, Satele’s love for her child would make it impossible for her to serve the Republic without a second thought.  She couldn’t fight and die for the Republic if she was always preoccupied with coming home to her baby.

So she let Theron go.  She had other adventures.  She was at the Treaty of Coruscant.  Satele founded Tython.  She became the Grand Master of her order.

We don’t get any of that pathos or glory with Marr.   Marr IS.  Marr is the Empire. He is the best of them.  He has been, is, and will be. 

The odds are pretty good that Marr and Satele met each other in combat, directly or indirectly. The bow on Imp side Rishi is a big thing for me that points to that.  Also, look at their responsibilities during the last war.  Marr was responsible for not only defending Korriban and what would become the Imperial core, but also any gains the Sith made over time against the Republic.  That’s the job of the Sphere of Defense of the Empire; taking planets was somebody else’s rodeo, not Marr’s.  His job was to defend... something the Imperial people living on these planets would love him for.  He was their protector against brutish Republic troops and their systemic corruption. 

Satele was responsible for winning those territories back; we see her on counter-strikes against the Sith.  Satele is cast as the liberator of people imperiled by the spreading Sith Empire, not a conqueror taking new territory.  Marr probably had to defend against Satele at least once in their careers, possibly multiple times.  If she was absent from the front lines for any period of time, Marr would have noticed; he had to anticipate the next move of Republic counterstrikes as part of his job. 

And indeed, Satele was absent for an extended period.  How long Satele was absent from the battlefield due to her pregnancy, we don’t know. Satele did continue her battlefield duties for “months” after she found out.  The only information we have about post-partum Satele is that she stopped visiting Baby Theron at 6 months old, according to Lost Suns.  I don’t think she could just skip off at random while in command, so I think she probably was off the battlefield at least 10 months (last 4 months of her pregnancy, 6 months post-partum), possibly as long as 18 months, since Gnost-Dural reports she was assigned to duty with the Republic Navy at some point in 3665 BBY.  She did give birth on a random planet in a cave, so she didn’t exactly have the best medical care immediately.  Maybe there were complications. Maybe she did show early. We don’t know.

Regardless of the timeline, Marr would have been paying attention.  Marr would have noticed when Satele Shan stopped fighting for the Republic.  Where was she?  What was she doing?  Was this part of a greater plot by the Republic?  What were they planning?  And when Satele did return, he may well have wondered what she had been up to.  But no matter; she had returned.  Marr had to be ready.

There’s no obvious indication in the game as to when Marr figures out Satele and Theron are mother and son.  He makes no comment to indicate that he knew before Rishi.  Based on Marr’s dialogue in game on the Imperial side, he heavily suggests that he knows who Theron is by the time Iven, the former commandant of the Imperial Guard, is taken into custody and it’s time to interrogate him. Satele objects to Marr’s plans to torture Iven.  “And what do you think your agent has done in the Republic’s name?” is Marr’s response. 

The delivery of ‘your agent’ is indicative that Marr knows.

Theron himself stated at the end of the Imp side romance that if he was indeed recruited by the player to join the Empire, people would be suspicious that he’d be working for his mother.  That would have to include Darth Marr. 

Personally, I would guess that the after-action reports from Lana and Theron would have some clues for Marr.  However, once Theron had healed up from the Rishi events, Marr may well have taken one look at Theron standing next to Satele, and then had an epiphany so immense it gave him a headache that Lana felt across the compound.  There’s the answer.  That’s why she disappeared for almost two years, twenty-nine years ago. Theron Shan.

(According to Jace in Annihilation, Theron has some similar features to his mother. He doesn’t specify which ones.)

The Lie of Omission

A lie of omission is permitting an inaccuracy or a falsehood to continue to circulate without correction, even though the person knows the truth. (In contrast, a lie of commission is when you actively make something up or contribute to the lie -- you commit the act lying.)  Marr signals he knows who Theron is by the time Iven is retrieved from the Imperial Guard training facility on Yavin, but he never says the name Theron Shan out loud.   It’s simply “the agent” “your agent” or “Theron.”  But not Agent Shan.

The use of “Theron” in the Pubside story is most eyebrow-raising.  

Marr calls people by their titles. Marr always keeps professional distance.  Underlings are uniformly referred to by their titles.  Lana doesn’t like titles, so Marr doesn’t refer to her as Lord Beniko or Darth whatever;  it’s just Beniko.

Calling someone by their first name is highly irregular.  He does not refer to Satele as such until 6.2 (and that might be the Socratic Problem of Marr in the player’s memory rather than the real Marr).  It’s always Grand Master or Grand Master Shan. In a unique instance in the game, Marr calls Theron by his given name when he finds the Imperial Guard’s buildings in ruins during the Pubside story:  “But given the destruction Theron describes, it’s mostly likely a distress call.”  This is before the Pub operative annoys Marr by going to the Imperial Guard facility by themselves; it’s not said in anger or in irritation.  It’s said under ‘normal’ circumstances (if circumstances on Yavin are normal at all). 

But why?  Why not “Agent Shan”?  That would differentiate him from Grand Master Shan.  Just referring to the pair as Grand Master and Agent would work too; how many Grand Masters and SIS Agents are running around on Yavin 4?  Why is Marr avoiding attention to the man’s last name?

And why doesn’t Marr hop on this and use it to the Empire’s advantage?

Pragmatism and Prioritization

Marr is not a Jedi.  Marr doesn’t do things for the greater good.  He does things for the Sith Empire and for the people of the Sith Empire.  Offing Theron Shan?  Definitely on the agenda.  So is killing Satele, eventually.

But not now.  Not on Yavin 4.

Marr is probably the person closest to knowing what Revan is going to try to do in order to make the Emperor take physical form again so he can kill him.  It’s going to involve a lot of dead people.  That can easily happen; up until this tiny fragile cease fire between Marr and Satele, the Empire and the Republic have been engaged in a hot war. When they first make camp on Yavin, there is a real possibility they’ll frag each other regularly.  This is why players have to do daily quests, in theory -- to build good will between the factions. 

My partner is a military nerd and a Star Wars nerd.  He watched both version of the Battle of Rishi.  His conclusion:  based on the ships we see, Marr had more than twice the number of troops that Satele did (I put the numbers in my Yavin 4 fic).  The Imperial troops, at Marr’s word, probably could wipe out the Republic forces on Yavin 4, pack up, and head back to Dromund Kaas in time for tea.

But they won’t.  Marr wouldn’t permit it.

He knows how dangerous the Emperor is, and if he does let his troops kill the Pubs, they feed him. There also appears to be some sort of weird mystical thing going on with Revan’s bloodline.  Revan knew highly personal information about Theron (and Theron says so when the player opens the temple later on); somehow, Theron was able to use that connection to get Revan to give up Yavin 4 and secure an invite there at the end of the Rishi op.

Marr knows about this.  Marr doesn’t know what Revan would do if Marr did kill Theron or Satele, plus there’s the more predictable possibility that the Republic would respond to the death of Satele Shan thanks to the Jedi feeling it through the Force.  Chancellor Saresh would not let that opportunity pass by, even if it did feed the Emperor; we saw that at Ziost. 

Grand Master Shan is a public figure.  Her name and her power is obvious to everyone in the Yavin camp.  Theron, however, is everything his mother is not.  He is a spy.  His face is not known to the general public.  His work is secret, his exact abilities unknown.

Sure, the last name is common enough....

But Theron and Satele have never worked together before.  They’ve never operated in such close proximity before.  Yavin 4 would be the first time all the pieces could fall into place to someone observant.  Marr is many things, but one of the things he really gets annoyed about in regard to the Sith is their arrogance.  They get such fat heads that they can’t see obvious danger or they overlook aliens and non-Force Sensitives to their own detriment. 

Marr isn’t arrogant.

He doesn’t think he’s the only one who can see a family similarity or sense some connection between them.  Saying someone’s name is a powerful thing; we get upset when someone screws up our name.  It’s how our attention is attracted.  Shared last names of interesting people attract attention.  Attention leads to distraction away from the primary goal of stopping Revan and the Emperor.

That’s something Marr doesn’t want to deal with right now.  Revan and Emperor now.  The Shans later.  He avoids referring to Theron as “Shan” so as to reduce any chance that some young Sith will attempt to make their bones killing Theron, since that would spell doom for the Empire, whether through Revan’s anger or the Republic’s revenge.  It would also help empower the Sith Emperor to retake physical form, which is the last thing Marr wants him to do. 

Exposing the Grand Master as having a secret son would remove an ally from the field for Marr; Marr doesn’t want to destroy his assets before he’s used them to their full ability.  There’s no point in burning Satele Shan on Yavin 4 before Revan is dealt with. 

...And Marr respects her.  It’s a cheap way to win against a rival he knows to be his equal.

Marr wants to end Revan and the Emperor now, in that order, to defend the people of the Empire.  He’ll worry about the Shans later.  Marr will let Theron’s last name be overlooked and unmentioned, if only because it makes his job as Defender of the Empire less complicated for a few months.

**

Thanks again to @swtorpadawan​ and also @inyri​ @shabre-legacy​ @theniveanlegacy​ for discussing the original post about Satele and Theron and making me think about this.  

Headcanon Postface:

This last bit is purely my headcanon ideas about Marr, so you can leave here if you so desire. I’m placing them here rather than making a separate post and having to link back to this one. 

As I’ve described previously, we have the finished product of Darth Marr, with none of the personal insight that was provided for Satele Shan.  Who’s under the mask?  Nobody knows, really.  His first comic book adventure takes place in 3678, when he’s about 24 years old.  There’s nothing about his life beforehand that would let the player wonder how his past life affected his current decisions.  Marr ultimately would do the best he could for the Empire, regardless, but knowing if he ever hesitated, ever had second thought, had a regret -- that would make him mortal. 

And Marr is an icon, not a man, in the grander SWTOR universe, per the writers. That’s the point driven home to the player.  So that leaves it to fan fic to take off the mask or not. 

In “The Planter of Trees and Other Tales from Yavin 4,” Marr comes to this conclusion about the Shans’ relationship after observing two Shan chins.  He then alludes to understanding Satele’s decision to conceal Theron’s existence.

After Marr had gained his seat on the Dark Council (late 3680s, early 3670s), a lot of Sith families wanted him to add to their prestige. The man needed a legacy; he needed heirs.  Marr had already set himself on his path, however; he understood that it was better to be an icon.  If Marr was a normal man, he would be weakened by family connections, love, protectiveness, concern for his personal future.  Instead, Marr’s devotion to the Empire was unmatched and pure.  In the public’s eye, he was the great defender. He was the perfect Sith.

Marr never did have a public wife or a political marriage. His private life -- better secured than Imperial state secrets -- produced a  daughter that did not inherit her talents from her Force-Using parent.  Marr had been relieved that his daughter was not like him.  It meant she would never be pressured to come into public life. It meant she was free of the burden of his legacy. 

Lately, I’ve considered that, regardless of having access to the Force or not, a child of Marr was always in danger of becoming a pawn.  She was something Marr’s enemies could use against him, if they ever found out about her; being Force-Null simply meant that others could not detect her as easily. That may have also have been a concern of Satele in regard to Theron, especially as she rose through the ranks of the Jedi Order.  As soon as Marr could let his daughter fly away from Dromund Kaas, he did.  She was free. 

She died shortly before the Sack of Coruscant.  Marr did not go to her. The Empire had to matter more.  That doesn’t mean he didn’t love her.  He just never could prioritize her over the Empire. 

In my fic universe, Marr understands Satele’s choices.  He can keep his mouth shut.  For now. 

Theron is far more dangerous to the rival faction than Marr’s daughter ever was, however; he is an active player in the war, while she... just got caught in the middle, in the end....

Revan and Emperor now.  Shans later.

**