#i need my older games bro i am not fucking playing the sims 4

[wiltking]

you cant launch the sims 3 or sims medieval on modern pcs? please say sike

[asselinssatan]

even though nobody needs this, i just thought I'd share how fucking long i am into shows/games that im in their fandoms now

the first thing ever is south park. uhh i was 3-4 y.o, and my older brother and sister were watching russian MTV and it had south park in it. they're 13 years older than me*

so they were told to watch after me, and they decided that's a good fucking idea to keep watching what they're watching now and bring me over here.

i remember vividly that it was jewbilee.

then when i turned 11 i thought i was so fucking grown up that i decided to rewatch sp, and my god did i love the fifth and the sixth season. that's why tweek's my favourite character lol. i was writing cringy fanfiction where my new kid character saved everyone's ass and i never ever uploaded it. thank god.

the next thing is the sims. the same as south park, i began playing the sims 2 with my older bro and sis when i was fucking 3 y.o.

i remember we made a human and a robot marry each other, then i created a vampire with a bunch of toddlers. also my cousin told me that i always made girls wearing pink outfits and i always called them Ella.

as i got older my parents bought me the sims 3. that's when i discovered internet and i was going over the sims wiki religiously. i always liked the premades, and since then always played only with them.

in 5th grade i began drawing fanart of the premades, but i never shared it because i was very nervous that other people will ridicule me. the same reason i never uploaded that sp fanfic.

the next is love live. i never thought that I'll like an anime. but my god these 9 funky dancing goddesses captivated my heart. nozomi tojo was my first gay awakening. through love live, honestly, i learned many things. and rin was the reason i started to be more confident in myself and love myself. im still in Idol hell and I'm trying to get fes rin, pray for me.

mlp. oh god. im not in the fandom anymore, but this all feels like a fever dream. my first ever real fandom experience came with it. i was searching youtube mlp videos 24/7, i was at equestria forums, i liked the fanarts, i read the fan comics, i listened to the fan music and watched pmvs. oh my god. i was 8.

i started playing danganronpa when i was in 7th grade, because everyone in the anime community wasn't shutting up their mouths about it. i decided to give a shot. and i got sucked in.

that's it. lol i shouldn't have had internet this early in my life, but i still don't know how i would've ended up if it wasn't for it.

[thotful-alien]

Comphet makes so much sense

I've had obsessive crushes on guys my whole life. I remember writing about my infatuations in my journals since I was a kid. I never seriously acted upon these crushes, though. They were usually unattainable. The few times a guy expressed interest in me first, I freaked out, I'd avoid them. Or if I indulged them and they went in for a kiss, I felt sick to my stomach. I found reasons for them to not be good enough for me. But I'd tell myself to give them a chance even when I wanted to run away screaming, and I ended up in unfulfilling uncomfortable scenarios.

What I wanted was validation and attention from my objects of desire. A relationship in which I was pursued was unsatisfactory. I tried hard to feel excited but something was missing. I was just along for the ride, trying to figure out if I was broken inside and incapable love.

My past infatuations included:

- Professors MUCH older than me

- boys older than me

- Taken guys who were dating my friends

- Gay guys

- an actual abusive Sociopath

- Tom Hiddleston as Loki

- guys who didn't acknowledge me outside of class

The first man I convinced myself I was in love with was dating an ex-friend of mine. He and I were good friends and I let my infatuation bloom, I even eventually told myself I was physically attracted to him, that he's the only guy I'd actually marry and have kids with. But fast forward 3 years, when he was finally single and hit me up, I didn't want to pursue him even though I was *so* in love with him throughout the years. I just felt powerful that he desired me. I lost all serious interest. He came over one evening 2 years ago and his car got towed so he slept on my couch. At one point he woke me up asking if he could cuddle me and I said yes, and that moment was like so satisfying because I finally got what I thought I wanted from him. I didn't actually physically feel butterflies. He later asked me to be his Valentine and I said yes, but he didn't see me that day and left for New Zealand a few weeks later. I was only a little sad tbh. I feel like I still love him but as a platonic friend.

A lot of taken guys that I'm close to develop crushes on me, it feels powerful for a while but then I'm just uncomfortable with it, I just wish I could be best friends with men without them feeling anything about me.

I find that's true in general. I just want to be left alone. If a cute guy seems to be interested in me, I find every flaw possible to justify not wanting to indulge him. I just want to be "bros" with boys. I get nervous if I feel them checking me out. Even objectively attractive men make me nervous, and I'm not physically attracted to them and I don't see myself in a relationship with them.

In fact I've set impossible standards in place and I don't even see a man in my future at all. When I envision my future I see me, a cat, some house plants, and being the "cool aunt" babysitter at family gatherings when my brothers have kids. I have zero desire to pursue men at all.

I was dumped last month by a guy I decided to trust even though the first time he kissed me I freaked out and wanted to vomit. I told myself it was PTSD from a past experience and to get over myself and give him a chance because he's a good friend of my brothers' and he was really charming and easy to talk to. As the relationship continued he turned out to be a fucking narcissist, so that's fun, but I had to force myself to find him attractive and overlook the fact that I felt nothing towards him physically and kinda just ignored his corporeal form. He treated me great at first so I ignored my gut feelings. I grew to like the idea of him and the idea of our future because it would be so convenient since he's close to my family already. But when I imagined us long-term, I grew incredibly sad. I knew that I didn't want to actually settle down with him yet, because I wanted to be with a woman. That thought never went away.

The relationship went to shit and I've been recovering for a month now but I feel freed in a sense because I want to finally be with a woman. That idea is so exciting to me. I've always been attracted to women and I only acknowledged it at age 19 and I told myself I was bi because of my past infatuations for men. But accepting that I like girls was such a huge moment for me, I'd been repressing those feelings my whole life. I wasn't doing a good job apparently because everyone around me thought I was gay before I even entertained the idea.

I was actually kinda bullied and made fun of because everyone thought I was gay. Thankfully in marching band there were HELLA queer folks and I ended up running with the crowd that grew up to be members of the LGBT+ community. They all thought I was gay, too. Not even bi, just straight up gay. But I was too defensive about it and kept ignoring my feelings. I only had one real boyfriend in highschool and that was my senior year, it lasted until after my first semester in college until I broke it off. I never felt excited about him, he stopped communicating, so I found reasons to decide I shouldn't be in a relationship with him. He didn't do anything wrong per se, I just knew I couldn't be with him anymore.

That was my first serious relationship, and the longest one I had. The last one I got out of was only 4 months. And the entire time I was wishing I could be with a woman instead.

In the past I've entertained the idea of being a lesbian instead of being bi, since the only times I've been excited about someone hitting on me have been when they were women. I always had a special soft spot for my friends growing up. I realized last year that I felt love for my straight best friend. Something about women is just so exciting, they make me feel warm and get the butterflies, I blush and look away when I see a beautiful girl on campus. My Instagram feed is full of beautiful models and makeup artists, as well as traditional artists that draw women, and I'm just so drawn to appreciating women's bodies and their beauty.

Even drawing a woman gets me all excited and tingly. I never feel like that with men, even picturesque guys that are objectively attractive. I seriously thought I was asexual until I acknowledged my very real attraction to women.

In video games where you can woo a woman, I get so fucking excited for the chance to do so. Growing up (and still now) I occasionally make lesbian couples on the Sims, and I always felt this guilty excitement when they would kiss.

The first fantasy that excited me as a teenager that wasn't some fucked up power scenario was me imagining I was playing 7 minutes in heaven and getting paired up with a girl.

I've felt over the past few years that I'm definitely more on the gay side of the bisexual spectrum. But now I'm feeling like I really am a lesbian. I looked up comphet when I was searching for answers online and the masterdoc I found just perfectly described my life, I felt like I was seen and understood for the first time. I think everyone around me was right that I'm actually gay as fuck. Throughout my shitty relationship I found myself looking longingly at beautiful women and feeling like something in my life was missing. After things ended I wrote in my journals that I wished I were a lesbian. And finding the masterdoc was so affirming for me! I want to shout it from the rooftops but I'm afraid people will think it's just because I broke up last month and I'm just "done" dealing with men. But I feel like this chance to reflect upon myself has brought me to acknowledge that I'm Gay as FUCK. And that my feelings for men were comphet.

I previously identified as bisexual, and this is in no way being biphobic or dismissive, I will fight to the teeth to defend the legitimacy of bisexual folks, fight their erasure, and that they belong in queer spaces and queer discourse. I just, I think I just took a really long time to unravel my feelings, and I feel like I'm realizing at age 25 that I am, indeed, a lesbian.

It's a difficult feeling because I feel finally that I've found a label that fits me, but I've been out as Bi for years now and even though my immediate family never pressured me to settle down with a man and pop out babies, I feel like it was a choice I HAD to make. Like I had to just hang up my Bi flag and become a housewife. But I don't want that. I don't see myself with a man in the future. And if I want kids I can find a sperm donor. I think I'm feeling the loss of "the option" of living a straight life. But I don't want that at all. So it's difficult unwrapping myself from that expectation.

But yeah I'm fairly certain that I'm a lesbian, I feel like I need to tell people but I don't know how to go about doing it and I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously even though my immediate family is 100% supportive and accepting. I don't know how or when to come out to people. I'm still dealing with self doubt. But I'm fucking GAY GOD DAMNIT and I feel like everyone has to know!

Fuck.

Anyway of you read this really, I really appreciate it. This is a huge transformative moment for me.

[blindingechoes]

SIM QUESTIONS TAG

I wasn’t tagged by anyone lol, I rarely am, I don’t know why. Am I scary guys? I swear I don’t bite, I mean, unless you ask and even then only if you’re legal ;P Anyway, I’ve seen this around for a while and on my dash a couple dozen times so I decided to do it anyway XD

1. What’s your favorite sims death? In Sims 2 - Flies & Satellite. In Sims 3 - Meteor, Thirst (Vampires) & Jelly Beans. In Sims 4 - Any emotional death &  poorly made Pufferfish Nigiri death.

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? Maxis Match

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? Not really, but I don’t really make heavy set Sims usually. My ass is big enough in real life, allow me to live my escapism my way.

4. Do you use move objects? Yes, constantly.

5. Favorite mod? Probably MC Command Center, I doubt I could play without that at this point. It’s kind of like all of Twallan’s mods for Sims 3, they’re just needed to make the game playable.

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? I think the first Pack I ever got was Late Night for Sims 3.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? Live as in aLIVE, which is apparently weird. It’s like going ‘live’ on television, you know ‘3, 2, 1 and we’re live!’ and have no idea where people are getting this LIV thing from. But then again, that could just be because I’m in the older range of Simmers, because there’s a lot of grammar that is apparently considered normal by today’s standards that just boggles my mind.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? That’s easy, Tessa, duh. And probably Maggie as well, but only in Sims 3 since I’ve yet to make a decent Maggie in Sims 4 and I have basically given up on it.

9. Have you made a simself? Yes, although I haven’t updated her in forever and hate her and should probably lock her in a gated swimming pool >_<

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? Loner, Geek.... and I don’t freaking remember the last one, that’s how much I care about my Simself.

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? Orange red, dark brown & black.

12. Favorite EA hair? Probably the shoulder length loose hair that came with Romantic Garden Stuff.

13. Favorite life stage? In Sims 2 - Toddler, Young Adult & Adult. In Sims 3 - Child, Teenager & Young Adult. In Sims 4 - Toddler, Teenager, Young Adult.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I certainly enjoy building, but in no way am I a builder. But at the same time, I have the attention span of a gnat with a hyperactivity disorder, so the gameplay doesn’t hold me for very long either. Essentially what I’m saying is that I’m shit at both.

15. Are you a CC creator? I’m wouldn’t call myself a creator so much as a ‘throw things at the wall and see what sticks...or’ and not a very good one at that.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I most certainly don’t have a ‘squad’ because I’m over the age of 21, but there are a couple people that I’m fond enough to talk too and could call friends if we were comfortable enough with that moniker.

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) I don’t have a favorite, they all are fun to me for different reasons and in different ways. I play them all (okay not The Sims because I can’t find my base game disk!) at different times depending on my moods. I also love the Sims Medieval and the Sims Stories series.

18. Do you have any sims merch? No.

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? I did for a hot second back like five year ago for The Sims 3, but I didn’t have any of the equipment needed to record properly or a decent enough computer to run the game without hiccups so I just gave up and allowed it to die.

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? A lot, back in the early days of Sims 3 I never turned aging on and I would play in a rotational sort of way, jumping between many households in the world. I’d have entire families intertwined and married off, I made sure everything and everyone was exactly under my thumb, autonomy was almost always turned off. Now the quicker they age up and die the better, the less I have the care for them the better. Basically I went from a strict yet caring God to a malevolent God with zero fucks to give in a matter of six years.

21. What’s your Origin ID? BlindingEchoes, what a concept, I know.

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? Come on now, that’s just a loaded fucking question.

23. How long have you had a simblr? Est. 10/31/2011

24. How do you edit your pictures? In Photoshop CS6

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? Like one that’s already out or one that I’d like to see next? Because the only one I don’t have it Luxury Stuff and pfft to that one, the furniture is ugly, I have the BGC clothing, hair, shoes & accessories already and the dumb chocolate/drink fountain isn’t worth ten bucks. I guess I’ll see about getting the Fitness stuff because I do like making deadweight gym bro dudes, so that’ll help with making those kinds of Sims. I’d really like to see a Stuff Pack just for toddlers, kind of like Kids Room Stuff was focused on just kids. I’d like a Stuff Pack for just toddlers and one for just teenagers.

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? For Expansions, I guess Get to Work, although to be honest, all of the Sims 4 Expansions have been major letdowns for me so meh. For Game Packs, I really like Parenthood, Dine Out, Vampires and Spa Day. As for Stuff Packs, I like Kids Room Stuff and Perfect Patio.