#i need dreamless sleep because what even is this
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First years and how they ended up at Ramshackle (Pomefiore)
Epel
"It's not like you to zone out in potions class." "... Vil just has been working me to bone recently, don't worry" "I wasn't worried but.. a good sleep schedule is important to maintain a good performance in classes"
If someone asked Epel when he started sleeping over at Ramshackle he'd tell'em to mind their business. But if he was feeling generous he'd lie and tell them it started during the VDC but even he knows thats not quite the whole truth.
The pristine walls of Pomefiore are beautiful, undeniably so, nevertheless after his adventure to STYX and Yuu and Grim's return to Ramshackle he can't help the sickness in his stomach as he wanders the halls.
This sickness is different from the resigned annoyance he'd felt at the start of the year. Different from loneliness that would grasp onto his bones and twist itself until he found himself awake the next morning. No, this was more dangerous and thorny than that.
His feet carry him to the Pomefiore gardens where he'd spent the past couple nights reciting his unique magic and practicing until dawn. He needs to be ready for whatever may come. He needs to be stronger or else...
If he practices just a couple more times then surely, surely, the mangled unnatural limbs of phantoms will leave his nightmares, the sound of screams will leave him. If he tires himself out then his nights will no longer be sleepless. Just one more time-
"Epel... You are aware that curfew was 4 hours ago" A stern voice cuts through the garden. "Vil-san... I.. woke up to get water" Epel mumbles. He can't even bring himself to look Vil in the eye. Epel doesn't even know what he's saying. Does he even care anymore? "Water from the garden hose?" He doesn't even need to look at Vil to imagine the way his brows furrow just enough to convey his disappointment while avoiding wrinkles. "Follow me." Vil doesn't give Epel the chance to respond before dragging him along the path out of Pomefiore. Soon they are standing in front of the gate to Ramshackle. "Why did'ja bring me here?" Epel turns to Vil and looks at him for the first time that night. He realizes that he let his accent slip and braces himself for the lecture, but no lecture comes. "I am simply fulfilling a request."
Before he can question him, Yuu steps out from Ramshackle and calls out to him. When he turns to say goodnight to Vil, he finds him already walking back to the dorm and takes that as a sign to head into Ramshackle.
To his shock he finds Ace, Deuce, and Jack already inside, sitting on makeshift beds on the lounge floor. There was already a bed set up for him too.
He half-expects them to force him to answer questions, like why was he awake but no questions come. When he finally gets a good look at everyone he sees a burning, they all want to be stronger, they all want to conquer the fears that grapple them.
Deuce hands him a fresh cup of tea and in the warmth, he finds himself tearing up. If anyone notices the stray tears that fall, they don't comment.
Even though the lounge silent, there is so much said, and in those unspoken words he finds a temporary medicine to the sickness that'd grappled him for weeks. And his sleep is dreamless.
honestly I see Epel as someone whose very stubborn and can get very tunnel visioned just like Deuce and end up beating themself up with their impatience and put themselves in a spiral. that's partially why I decided to have Deuce be the one to give him tea, it's almost like a silent message of we can work to be stronger together just like we promised on the beach. I had a feeling Yuu would notice that Epel hasn't been sleeping while they were staying at Pomefiore, especially since they'd gotten so close through the STYX incident. Maybe as one last thank you to Vil for letting them stay they tip him off about Epel's night practices. Epel craves strength but not as a tool to dominate but rather as a way to protect other people. of course because he is an NRC student is a side of him where he finds his place in the world and orients his relation with those around him based on strength but I feel we see a bit of this fall away as he experiences more deadly situations. anyway I can ramble for hours about Epel.
Ace / Deuce / Jack / Epel
#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst yuu#twst deuce#twst epel#twst first years#twst headcanons#twst writing#twst drabbles#epel felmier#twst ace trappola#ace trappola
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𝙻𝚎𝚗𝚊'𝚜 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚕𝚘𝚐: 𝚒 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚒 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚢𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚗
second instalment (tw: death and violence)
Right so i'm basically just in my house ad i leave for some reason? I walk down this little road and suddenly i see my (extremely religious) next door neighbors on this weird car platform thing but its driving nonetheless.
She litch just starts charging at me screaming about faith and god and how i'm going to hell and she's like two feet behind me when i leg it back into my house and NOW she's got a full gun but my windows are semi-bulletproof so im okay (literally like. okay queen pleek calm DOWN)
I'm like genuinely fearful for my life and this absolute CUNT breaks into my room and just shoots me in the face and like. fully kills me for some reason but thats okay whatever. I'm still watching this unfold from a weird third person perspective and she starts praying over my body and its super like. uhm. okay whatever moving on
Then im just randomly in an airport yay im wearing green and jeans which i vividly remember and also on the phone with my partner? At some point we board but we don't actually we kind of go down this massive ramp onto a field thing that reminds me of Rock am Ring? Whatever so i'm just walking with my (empty) suitcase and around the corner of this weird tent thing that's also a food shop i see a few people just standing around.
This is when said previously mentioned weird tent thing turns into a festival stage and i recognise none other than troye sivan in his slutty little black top he always wears (i don't even listen to troye i just think he's fit).
So i see him and obviously i'm like let me get a picture with this absolute specimen to show to the little people in my phone (you lot) and i go up to him only to be literally thrown back by some security guy who looked a lot like tim healy but we don't talk about that. I make it to troye and he's being a bit of a cunt but i ignore it because he's prob nervous to perform or something.
We take the pictures and the flash is really dizzying for some reason and i turn to hug him goodbye and he's just like "okay now giz a smooch for the camera" and i DO and it felt weird because his hair was in my face and also the camera is STILL going off but im happy nonetheless.
To understand the vividity of this dream i need to mention that when i woke up, first i checked my pulse to see i was alive and second i flicked through my camera roll fully expecting to see me and troye sivan making out.
i need to start doing these more they get weird and i feel like i should MAYBE get this checked out because i'm still semi convinced the first bit was real and i'm just dreaming writing this which is only a bit freakish
#lenas dream log#i need dreamless sleep because what even is this#someone give my dreams a meaning so i can figure i need more magnesium or something
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dating headcanons - zzzero men edition pt. 2 ☆〜(ゝ。∂)
ft. gn! reader x asaba harumasa, billy kid, and seth lowell ; a follow up to my previous dating hcs (which can be found here) and a response to a request ( ^ω^ ) first post of the year(≧∇≦)i hope you enjoy reading!!
asaba harumasa
very clingy. when you're not together, he'd be texting you random little updates or beg for your attention just for the sake of talking to you if calling momentarily isn't an option. sometimes he tries to use you as an excuse to get out of work, but after he's done it a couple of times, you've become immune to always bending to his whims and suddenly he's whining about how you don't love him anymore.
["wait i'll look at your texts later brb love u ^3^" "so you hate me."]
an avid quality time enjoyer, if i've ever seen one. he's content with lazing around with you or doing mundane tasks that don't require much physical effort. likes cuddling against you when you're just sitting engrossed in doing something with your hands and reading or watching something together.
even though he usually appears and acts lighthearted, deep down, he's genuinely happy with you and the relationship you share. he cherishes every moment you can spend together and wishes it could go on for as long as he lives. you're the person he refers to as family when on one of his much-dreaded doctor appointments.
alongside the nightmares he already has regarding his sickness, he'd have times when he'd wake up in a cold sweat from dreams of losing or leaving you and the people he cares for. thankfully, on the days you sleep over, he has you; he's comforted by the sight of your sleeping figure and clings to you for the rest of the night.
on a lighter note, sharing a bed with this man is probably a chaotic experience on a dreamless night; initially, you'd both fall into slumber comfortably cuddled against each other, but the following morning, one of you would be seconds away from suffocating in a vice grip.
billy kid
loves playing games with you. he's usually competitive when playing against you but when you're both on a team together, he's suddenly the biggest cheerleader there is. if both of you lose, that's totally fine! you'll get it next time. what matters to him is that you had fun together.
deeply appreciates it and enjoys when you match him nerd-for-nerd, even if you don't share a lot of similar interests. you take turns randomly info-dumping about any piece of media or activity you're into and both of you pay genuine attention to whatever the other is talking about. he loves listening to you passionately talk or share anything about any topic because you do the same for him.
adding on to the previous point: both of you make jokes about liking your favorite fictional characters or celebrities more, just to be playfully petty.
["if you had to choose between me or monica, who would you pick?" "...well, yes!" "..." "alright, then. between me and /insert favorite character/--" "that's unimportant."]
after spending so much time with him, you already know which maintenance products he likes for himself or his guns. kind of like how other people know what shampoo or body wash their partner prefers. when you see he's running out and you buy them without telling him, he'll notice and be weeping tears of joy.
if you take a while to open up to him about certain things, he's alright with that and will tell you to take your time or give you the space you need. he's been the same when it comes to sharing his past with other people and understands that some things do take courage to tell.
seth lowell
despite having been in a relationship for a while, he most likely still gets easily flustered from any vaguely flirty quip and intimate gesture that comes from you. you could use this knowledge to your advantage but do have mercy on the poor guy.
[there was one instance where you gave him a quick peck on the lips without giving much thought to it before leaving and all he could do was stay where he was with his brain buffering for a whole minute.]
even though he's somewhat shy about expressing his admiration or appreciation for you and sometimes stumbles through his words when doing so, he's sincere in everything he says and does for you.
you're one of the very few people he trusts with touching his tail and ears. it's come to the point where when you're both just laying together, he wouldn't mind the feeling of your fingers gently rubbing on a certain spot on his ears while you run your fingers through his hair.
he appreciates that you see him for who he is and acknowledge his efforts to get where he is now. your affirmations, whether spoken or unspoken, mean much to him and he feels like he can truly be comfortable when he's around you.
sometimes, he unknowingly acts or does very attractive things and it just blows your mind. he'd steer you by the waist from bumping into things or, if you're shorter, accidentally pin you against a wall/surface when trying to reach for something from a high place because he just wants to help! you should be more careful, you know. but you've already mentally imploded while your sweet, sweet boyfriend remains clueless.
#zenless zone zero#zzzero#zzz x reader#zzz x you#zenless zone zero x reader#asaba harumasa#asaba harumasa x reader#harumasa x reader#billy kid#zzz billy x reader#seth lowell#seth zzz#seth lowell x reader
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home. mark x fem!reader. comfort.
the door clicked shut softly behind you as you waited for the hallway lights to flicker above you automatically. it only took you 5 seconds of standing in darkness and silence to realise the bulb needed a change.
great. just great. you looked down at your feet, barely making out the silhouette of your heels that were a size too small and the discolouration around your toes where your heels suffocated the skin, much like how life felt right now.
you bit your bottom lip to hold back a sob as a lump formed in your throat and squeezed at your chest, the pressure begging to be released. before you knew it, the dam of your lashline was broken and tears streamed down like falling ribbons.
you dropped your purse to the floor and stood rooted on the spot, heels still digging painfully into your feet as you buried your face in your palms as if anyone could see you through the darkness of midnight, letting the tears collect in your palms like a well as you tried to muffle your sobs, painfully aware that your lover was likely fast asleep in your shared bedroom.
"baby, you're home."
a voice croaked from the living room couch as your head snapped up at the voice. against the moonlight was the silhouette of the person you needed the most.
"mark."
the tremor in your voice propelled him off the coach and in an instant, he was by your side, squinting through the darkness and the sleep still in his eyes as he cupped your cheeks in his warm hands. you were just, so tired.
"what's wrong, baby?"
you sniffled, resting your heavy mind in his warm hands, "tired."
he nodded knowingly, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. he squatted down to help you out of your heels, his thumb gently massaging each foot as he removed them from their heel, instantly relieving the soreness. standing back up, he took your hand and pulled you into his embrace, holding you in his firm and protective grasp as he swayed back and forth in a graceful rhythm with you resting against his shoulder.
"why were you on the couch?"
you mumbled into the air.
"I was waiting for you, love. it was getting late and you didn't reply to my texts." mark placed a soft kiss on the top of your head.
"sorry, must've been busy out of my mind." you gave a half-hearted chuckle as your hand came up to wipe away a few stray tears.
"it's alright darling. you're home now. everything will be okay."
and even though you knew tomorrow would be another day of hell, another day of unreasonable bosses and standing in suffocating heels, in that moment, you believed him. because you were with mark. because home somehow made the cruelties of life seem a little more okay.
you fell into a dreamless sleep that night, with your head rested on mark's chest and his heartbeat lulling you to sleep.
a/n: written on impulse so no word count and not edited! inspired by some recent experiences that made me tired of life and wish I had a mark to tide me through but I'm feeling better now <3
#nct#nct dream#nct mark#mark lee#nct 127#nct fluff#mark#mark x reader#mark fluff#nct comfort#nct angst#mark angst#rina dreams#rinasfav
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I Got Chills, They’re Multiplying
Pairing: Robert “Bob” Floyd x Reader (fem, she/her)
Category: sick fic, fluff
Summary: Despite being stubbornly independent, Bob won’t let you push him away in your time of need.
Warnings: sickness, sexual references and innuendos, implication of Bob having a “lieutenant��� kink, just fluff mostly, reader is used to pushing people away, they’re like hella in love but won’t say it
Word count: 2.4k
A/N: Wrote this exhausted because I haven’t been able to sleep these past few days due to being sick. Enjoy!
Consider buying me a coffee :)
You stared at the last text message Bob had sent you.
Okay, get well soon!
It was unclear whether the constant pounding in your head was what was making you feel sick or if it was how quickly the text conversation had ended with your boyfriend. Well, kind-of boyfriend. You'd been on a lot of dates over the last few months but hadn't actually made it official yet.
It's not like you expected anything from him, you were used to men being pretty dismissive, and his message was actually very friendly, especially with the exclamation point at the end, but you couldn't help but feel a pang of something at him just ending the conversation like that.
To be fair to him, you had told him that you were fine, just had a cold or a minor case of the flu. It was a little worse than that but you weren't used to telling people your problems, used to keeping them bottled up inside. So you guess you couldn't really blame him for taking your word for granted and assuming that, as you'd said, you were fine. And maybe he was busy.
You sighed and tossed your phone aside, burying your face in one of the many blankets you'd dragged to your couch in an attempt to feel slightly warmer. You were being ridiculous, this is exactly what you wanted. And what you expected. At least you had peace and quiet for the day whilst you recovered.
Drifting off into a dreamless sleep came naturally with the state your body was in and you were thankful for it, hoping that the headache that had been plaguing you since you first woke up that morning would be gone by the time you woke up again.
It wasn't.
In fact, it only got worse when the rhythmic throbbing in your skull matched the timing of the person knocking on your front door. You groaned quietly to yourself and dragged yourself up off the couch, wrapping a blanket tight around your shoulders and padding to the door with only one sock on. You figured the other one must have fallen off during your nap.
You didn't even bother looking through the peephole to see who was bothering you, hoping to just snap at them to go away once you'd managed to unlock the door.
That plan was foiled when you were greeted by your favourite pair of baby blue eyes behind wire framed glasses. You immediately softened at the sight of your kind-of boyfriend.
"Oh, hi." You croaked, immediately feeling sheepish that you were about to shout at him without even thinking about the consequences.
Bob frowned at you, giving you a quick once over. "You're sick."
"Yes, I told you that." You chuckled, coughing into your elbow as soon as the words had left your mouth.
"Sicker than you let on." He clarified.
You shrugged, not knowing what to say. He was right. But that's just who you were. Keep everything to yourself, was your motto.
So you just asked him a question instead. "Why are you here? I said I was fine."
Bob smiled at that. "I think your exact words were 'yeah, I'm good' which I knew was a lie."
"Oh." That surprised you.
He went further. "You only say you're good when something's wrong."
God, were you that easy to read?
"So, I thought I'd come check on you." He stiffened suddenly. "I hope that's okay."
You didn't think it possible but somehow you softened more under his worried gaze. "Yes, that's very okay. Do you want to come in?"
You opened the door wider for him, stepping aside and grinning when he hurried in and kicked off his shoes. It was then that you noticed what he was wearing. Blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt. He looked good. Very good. If you didn't feel like you were dying then you'd definitely be jumping his bones right about now. You still kind of wanted to. You pushed the thought aside.
"Didn't realise how hot it is outside. I'm freezing." You mumbled, shuffling back towards your couch. "Do you want a drink?"
"No, thanks. But if I did then I'd make it myself. I'm here to look after you." He placed a hand on the small of your back to guide you in the direction of the blanket pile you'd previously made, smirking at the sight of it.
You shifted away from him. "You don't have to touch me. I'm sick and disgusting right now."
He huffed. "You're beautiful and lovely like always."
"Liar." You grumbled, pushing back into his hand nevertheless.
"No, just smitten and honest." He confessed, sitting you down on the couch and wrapping you in the millions of blankets. "Have you eaten today?"
You shook your head no. You didn't feel up to cooking.
"Want me to make you something?" He stood in front of you with his hands on his hips.
"No." You sighed. "It's okay."
"Yeah, I'm making you something."
You huffed. "You really don't have to-"
"I want to." He cut you off. “I don’t want you to think you can’t ask me for things. You know I care about you, right?”
You nodded slowly. “I know, I’m just used to doing stuff for myself.”
Bob smiled gently. “I know that. But now you don’t have to. I’m here for you. To help. Or whatever you need.”
You were about to respond with a fond thank you when you were interrupted by his cellphone chiming in his pocket.
“Sorry.” He grunted, pulling the device from the front of his jeans.
“It’s okay.” You coughed, curious as to why he was suddenly frowning. “Who is it?”
"Had plans with the team tonight. Was supposed to meet them for drinks." He mumbled, typing away on his phone.
"Oh, god." You rubbed your hand across your face. "Please go. You don't have to stay here. Don't let them down."
Bob suddenly looked up from his screen and gave you an amused smile. "I'm sure they'll understand that I'm looking after my sick girlfriend."
He said it so casually, as if he��d been doing it regularly. Your heart rate picked up at that. Girlfriend. His girlfriend. Bob Floyd's girlfriend. You could've squealed with glee. You stayed silent and settled for a pleased grin.
He sighed to himself once he’d replied to his team and placed his cell down on your coffee table. “Where were we? Oh! Right. Me cooking for you.”
“Like I said, you don’t need to do that.” You pulled your feet up onto the couch after a particularly violent shiver ran through you. “I’m perfectly fine.”
Bob reached out and pressed the back of his hand onto your forehead. “You have a fever. And you’re still shaking like we’re in Antarctica.”
“It’s just my immune system fighting back.” You hummed, leaning into his touch as he moved his hand down to cup your cheek.
“Exactly. And I’m sure some warm soup will just help your immune system out.” He crouched down in front of you, taking the other side of your face in his other hand. “Please let me take care of you.”
The words were so softly spoken, so tender, that you almost started crying. No one had ever sounded so sincere before, especially when it came to your well-being. If you weren’t so scared of infecting him, you would’ve leaned forward to kiss him.
So you could only reply quietly, with the smallest of nods. “Okay.”
His face burst into a dazzling smile, the kind that made you never want to stop looking at him. “Okay. You rest some more and I’ll go make that for you.”
You smiled weakly back at him, suddenly remembering something. “I don’t think I have any soup.”
Bob didn’t falter. “That’s alright. I’ll figure something out.”
You thought that maybe you were a little bit in love with him.
“Help yourself to anything.” It didn’t need to be said, he knew your kitchen pretty well at this point and you always made it clear that he was free to eat or use anything in it when he was over at your place.
He nodded, pressed a kiss to your forehead and stood up. “Try to sleep a little. This might take a while.”
You snorted, regretting it immediately as it made your throat feel all scratchy. “Yes, Lieutenant.”
Bob paused for a second, halfway to taking a step towards the kitchen, and looked back at you. “Lieutenant?”
You nodded, mouth twitching at the corners.
He seemed to think on it for a second. “Hm, we’ll come back to that.”
You giggled quietly into your blanket and settled back onto the couch, closing your eyes and thinking of Bob Floyd. Your boyfriend. Your extremely caring boyfriend. Who was in your kitchen making you soup! When did you suddenly get so lucky? The musings drifted away with you as you slipped into unconsciousness.
Some time passed before you were awoken again by Bob stroking the side of your face and softly uttering your name.
You rubbed your eyes as you sat up, slightly confused as your head cleared. “What’s going on?”
“Soup.” He replied simply, picking up your legs and sitting down before placing them across his lap. He leaned forward to grab the bowl and spoon on your coffee table and then turned to face you.
“You gonna feed me?” You teased.
Bob smiled. “I would if you wanted me to but I’m sure you’d rather I throw this soup in your face than do that.”
He was right.
“Hm, when did you get to know me so well?” You asked, half joking as you took the bowl and spoon from him. The soup was a rich green colour. What he’d found to put in it, you had no idea. “Always thought I was closed off.”
“You are.” He shrugged. “But I pay attention.”
Your eyes shot up to meet his again. He was just looking at you with a slight smile, hands smoothing up and down the lengths of your clothed legs.
You were definitely a little bit in love with him.
You defaulted to a joke. "Remind me when I'm feeling better that you're gonna get it sooo good."
Bob snorted. "I think the fever is making you delirious."
"I'm just frustrated because you, somehow, look hotter than usual and I'm too sick to do anything about it." You gestured vaguely to his outfit, using the spoon to point.
“I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt.”
“Hot.” You insisted.
"Okay, I'll remind you." He rolled his eyes. “Now eat your soup.”
“Yes, Lieutenant.” You mumbled, dipping the spoon into the thick liquid.
He huffed out a laugh.
You weren’t surprised in the least that the soup was delicious. You were starting to believe that Bob might actually be the perfect man, some sort of miracle sent to Earth to apologise for all the wrongdoing in the world. How he’d managed to concoct a good soup out of the limited ingredients in your kitchen was beyond you. And yet, he’d done it.
“What the hell did you put in this?” You asked, frowning at him mock suspiciously. If you didn’t know him better you’d think he’d ordered it to your place while you were asleep. But Bob Floyd wasn’t that kind of guy.
“Some stuff I found laying around.” He shrugged modestly. “Didn’t follow a recipe or anything.”
You scoffed. “You’re something else.”
He just shrugged again, a pleased smile playing on the corners of his lips, and watched you practically inhale the rest of the dish. He was very glad you’d eaten it.
“How you feeling now?”
“Better.” You admitted. “But I don’t know if it’s because of the soup or because you’re here.”
Bob’s heart thudded against his rib cage at that confession. “Just happy to help.”
You hummed and stared at him fondly.
He had trouble getting his next question out, distracted by the way you were looking at him. “Do- do you- do you want to go back to sleep?”
You hesitated before answering him, mulling an idea over in your mind. “There is something I want.”
“Oh, yeah? What is it?” He was willing to do anything for you.
“Don’t want you to get sick.” You sighed.
He smiled. “I think we left that concern behind when I first got here.”
Your eyes widened. “No! Don’t make me feel guilty.”
“I’m not trying to.” Bob assured you. “But I doubt whatever you want is going to have a higher risk of getting me sick than me just sitting here next to you.”
You grumbled something underneath your breath to yourself.
“It’s okay. I don’t mind getting sick off of you.”
Maybe you were a lot in love with him.
So you let it burst out of you. “Wanna cuddle.”
Bob didn’t even respond to you, just scooped you up into his arms and maneuvered the two of you into the position he knew you liked - him on his back with you half on top of him and half next to him, one leg and one arm slung around him, your face buried his chest and head tucked under his chin, one of his hands moving to stroke up and down your arm, trace patterns across your back and comb through your hair.
He knew you so well.
You nuzzled your face against his t-shirt. “Thank you.”
He inhaled deeply. “You don’t need to thank me.”
“I want to. You didn’t have to do all of this.”
“Making you soup is nothing. It’s not like I’m giving you a kidney.” He paused. “Although I’d probably do that too.”
You chuckled against his chest. “What I mean is, most guys would’ve accepted my ‘I’m good’ text and carried on with their day. You didn’t.”
“Because I knew you were lying.” He reminded you.
“That’s my point. No one has ever known I was lying before.” You tilted your head up to look at him. “I’m glad you knew.”
“Me too.”
Bob wanted to kiss you but knew you’d kill him if he tried. So he settled for the smile he gave you that always made you look away nervously. Which you did, as predicted, and then swiftly fell asleep against him. He wondered how’d he’d gotten so lucky. Sure, he was caring for a sick person but it was the happiest he’d been in a long time. Which should sound ridiculous but to him it made more sense than anything.
He was knocked out of his thoughts when you whined lowly in your sleep and held onto him tighter. He smiled down at you and held you closer to his chest.
Bob knew then that he was a lot in love with you.
A/N: And we’re back!
#bob floyd#robert floyd#robert bob floyd#bob floyd x reader#bob floyd x you#robert floyd x reader#robert floyd x you#robert bob floyd x reader#robert bob floyd x you#bob floyd fanfiction#robert floyd fanfiction#robert bob floyd fanfiction#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfiction#ej’s writing#ej’s fics#deakyjoe’s writing#deakyjoe’s fics
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Queen of the Wilderness
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not my gif
Yandere!Lottie Matthews x fem!reader
Summary: After the crash, came the need for survival. And with that, came the hunger. When you get selected as The Queen of Hearts, your girlfriend Lottie does everything she can to keep you safe, and starts to think of you of some kind of almighty being
Warning(s): obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, cannibalism, mentions of blood, Lottie being a cult leader, power dynamics, protective!Lottie
Word Count: 2.6 k words
Request: here
A/N: might make a part 2 idk
Masterlist: tba
You had lost count of how many months you have been stuck in the forest with your teammates.
You used to keep a very precise count. Every time you woke up, you would add another number to the figure. You would repeat it throughout the day, like a mantra that kept you sane.
You stopped counting when Jackie died, and Lottie started to talk about the Wilderness.
It made no sense to keep count anymore. No one would ever come to rescue you. You didn’t want them to, after what you had done. You all had broken a sacred human oath; you had eaten human flesh. Your soul would be forever tainted. It was only fair that you had to live the rest of your days like that, always hungry, always weighed down by your mistakes.
Lottie had changed too, but in a way you didn’t expect to. She was the leader of the group now, always keeping everyone on check.
She also kept them fed.
You never questioned her. You knew her. You knew she was doing whatever she could to keep the group together, and alive. You had known her your entire life, you knew she wouldn’t hurt a fly.
You knew it.
So when they started doing the card game, and she was a willing participant, you knew it was for the best.
“We have to do it, Y/N,” she whispered quietly, rubbing your back as you dry heaved over a bucket. You were in the attic, it was late at night. You could see her silhouette only because of the moon light, shining through the naked trees.
“I know,” you whispered. You moved away from the bucket. No matter how much you hated yourself, your weakened body couldn’t bring itself to throw up.
You had just eaten a person, and you were so hungry you would have gone for another round.
“Come here,” she whispered. Her hands were cold, but when you rested your head on her chest, she was warm. So damn warm against the coldness.
“I hate it,” you said. You wanted to sob, but were too tired to do so.
“I know, baby.”
Her voice was soft, unlike when she talked to the group. With you, she was still warm, she was still Lottie.
“What do you think we would be doing now, if the plane never crashed?” you asked. You used to ask a lot of questions lately; you needed to hear her voice, so it would drown out everything else.
“We’d be in college,” Lottie said. She ran her hand through your hair, and you sighed. “We would be in the same university. I would’ve gotten us a place close to college, and we would be living together.”
“You think?” you asked, sleepily.
“Yeah,” Lottie said, with a certainty that made you feel relaxed. “We’ll always be together, baby. Always.”
You hummed, closing your eyes. You fell into a dreamless sleep, and Lottie allowed you, sitting down on the floor. When she was certain you wouldn’t wake up, she carried you to bed and put all the blankets she could find over your body.
She left the attic with a kiss on your forehead. Almost everyone was already sleeping, laying as close to the fire as they could be. Natalie was laying against one of the walls, deep in thought.
“Have we run out of meat already?” Lottie asked. She crossed her arms, waiting for the blonde to reply.
“We have food for tomorrow’s lunch,” she said. Her eyes were on the rifle, as if she was considering how crazy it would be to get out in the middle of the night to find an animal.
“That’s it?” Lottie looked out the window, as she too was wondering the same thing.
“Yeah,” Natalie sighed. She looked reluctant to even speak the words. “Tomorrow, we’ll have to play again.”
Play. Lottie almost laughed at the word. They haven’t played in too long. Not even since the plane crashed.
“Okay,” she said instead. “I’ll work on it.”
Lottie came back to the attic, and laid down beside you. She put her hand on your cheek, and smiled when you moved closer, seeking her out even in your sleep.
Lottie knew what they were doing, what she was doing, would be considered psychotic if anyone outside of the group were to find out. But they couldn’t hear the whispers that came with the wind, they couldn’t feel the hunger that stuck like cheap gum on long hair. They couldn’t, but she could, and she knew she had to listen to the wilderness to keep you alive.
You were the most important person in her life. You were her lifeline. When she first saw you, her breath had stopped for a second. She had wanted you ever since, and had done everything to ensure you stayed by her side. She had the means for it. Especially now, in the middle of nowhere, with a group of people that would do anything she asked for.
“I’ll keep you safe,” she whispered against your hair. “I promise.”
The Queen of Hearts.
The card stared back at you, almost mockingly.
You swallowed hard, looking around the room. You wanted to take it all in, the tranquility of the cabin before you turned the card around and everyone would be craving your meat like wild animals.
Your eyes caught Lottie’s. She looked beautiful, with her antler crown and her dark brown hair falling on soft waves. She looked back, always aware whenever you looked at her, and the smile she gave you froze midway when she noticed your face.
“No,” she said, arms falling down to her sides. All strength seemed to leave her all at once. While the others kept choosing a different card from the stack, she walked up to you in fast steps.
“Run.”
You looked into her wild eyes, feeling her fingers digging into your arms. You blinked once, twice, and then once more, and before you knew it, the card was on the ground and you were running towards the door.
“It’s Y/N,” Shauna said. She looked detached, gone. Her eyes no longer had any warmth in them.
“Fuck,” Natalie said, looking at Lottie. She rushed to grab the rifle and held tight onto it, making sure no one else would grab it and use it to hunt you.
“She can’t get away,” someone said, and it was as if a light switch was turned on.
Everyone except Lottie and Natalie left the cabin, searching for you. They screamed your name, running in different directions to find you.
“This can’t be right,” Lottie said, completely out of it. She stared at the door, eyes out of focus. “Y/N is mine. They wouldn’t hurt her. The wilderness promised. I promised.”
“I—” Natalie was lost for words. She had never been okay with anything they were doing. She felt guilty; if she had managed to find enough food to keep everyone well fed… “I’m so sorry, Lot.”
Hours went by, and you remained hidden.
You moved stealthily, remembering all the advice Nat had taught you in those times you hunted with her.
Keep your head down. Use the woods to your advantage. Never look back, always move forward.
You did as she had told you all those weeks ago. You could hear them all around you, steps that never flattered unlike yours, screams that called for your blood, for your death.
You kept going, until you fell down. You almost moaned, but held yourself back in time. If they heard you now, it would be over.
You looked at your foot, grabbing it. It hurt like a bitch.
Something moved to your left, and you ignored the pain to get up. You couldn’t fight anyone sitting on the floor.
Instead, you found yourself staring at a white hare. You blinked in disbelief. It couldn’t be possible. Nat and Travis had said time and time again there were no animals left to hunt.
So why was a hare right in front of you?
You watched as it dug into the snow, disappearing from sight. You crawled towards the place the animal had just been at, and you noticed a small hole. With desperation, using the last remaining rays of sunlight, you moved the snow away, trying to find what you thought could be your salvation.
The hare’s den.
Your hands were numb and freezing by the time you found it. There were at least ten of them, piled up together in their home to keep safe from the cold. You felt sorry for a second before you reached for the first one, wasting no time to twist its neck.
“I’m so sorry,” you whispered as you sobbed. You took off your jacket, and laid the animal there. You did the same with the others, only thinking of how long they would keep the group fed.
They wouldn’t go rotten for a while if you kept them by the snow, and someone could make broth with them. If the group was smart, the animals laying on your jacket would keep you fed for well over a month.
You got up when you were done, trying not to think of what you had just done with those innocent hares. Your steps were clumsy and uneven, what with the snow and your throbbing ankle. You took a big sigh, and walked back to the cabin, hoping you could explain yourself before you were attacked by someone, anyone.
When you saw lights by the cabin, you almost went back into the woods. They had regrouped, probably arranging themselves into different groups to cover the entire forest until they found you.
Taissa was the first one to notice you, limping toward the cabin. In a moment of loyalty you had thought long forgotten, she shut her mouth and turned back around, giving you some ahead time to run.
But you didn’t. You moved forward, stepping loudly so everyone could hear.
“Y/N,” Lottie said, out of breath. She ran towards you, wrapping her arms tightly around you, knees deep in the snow you had just fallen to, incapable of holding yourself up anymore.
You knew then, with the way she was holding you, that she would die protecting you. She wouldn’t move away from you even if they crawled at her skin until they reached muscle and bone.
“Lottie,” Shauna said, almost weary. “Move away from Y/N.”
“You won’t take her away from me,” Lottie said. You had never heard her sound so fierce.
“We need food,” Misty said.
“I have food,” you said. Your voice was muffled by Lottie’s chest.
“What?”
You moved away from your girlfriend, and rested the jacket on the ground. Silence was the only response you recieved.
Everyone looked at the hares, in complete confusion.
“It’s not possible,” Natalie said. She kneeled down in front of you and grabbed one of the hares, as if to check if they were real.
“It is,” Lottie said, with a conviction that made you furrow your eyebrows. “Y/N has brought us food. She’s the Wilderness’ daughter.”
“What?” Shauna asked, looking between you and the hares.
“Can’t you see?” Lottie asked, getting up. She faced the entire group with a smile on her face. “She is mine, and she is protected by the Wilderness. The Wilderness is her mother.”
You wanted to shake your head, to tell Lottie to shut up, but you were still in shock. In a few days, you would process everything that had happened and finally understand the severity of the situation, of just how close you had been to being hunted by your own friends, but at the moment you couldn’t think of anything except how scared you were, so you just allowed Lottie to wrap her arms around your forearms, trying to help you get up.
“My foot,” you complained.
“Someone hurt you?” she asked, sweetly. Too cheerful given the situation.
“No.”
But Lottie didn’t hear you. She got up again, looking at the crowd with fire in her eyes.
“Do you see what you have done?” she asked. “You hurt her. You know what would’ve happened if someone had taken her from me?”
The group remained silent, looking at Lottie as if they were mesmerized. A few of the girls had kneeled down to grab one of the hares, them checking too if they were real, and had stayed there, kneeling in front of your girlfriend.
“Everyone would have been killed by the Wilderness. She has been benevolent this time, allowing you to hurt what’s mine and still keeping you fed. But it won’t happen again.”
You looked in disbelief as everyone nodded.
“Now go work on dinner, and be thankful for the food she has brought.”
To your utter surprise, Lottie grabbed you bride style and lifted you up. She made you rest your head on her shoulder, and carried you back to the cabin.
“I’m sorry, darling,” she whispered as she sat you down in one of the chairs that were by the fire. She kneeled before you, and took off your shoes. “I should’ve kept you safe. You shouldn’t have gotten hurt.”
You watched as she got up to get the little medical supplies there were left. She kneeled and grabbed your swollen foot, and left a kiss on your shin.
“I’ll do better next time,” she promised. She wrapped some bandage over the afflicted zone, apologizing when you complained. “I will. No more card games for you. No one is ever going to touch you again. No one but me.”
“Lottie…”
She gave you a smile after she was done with the bandage. It was slightly crooked, and a little tight, and she knew she should have asked Misty to do it, but she would rather die than see another woman touching you.
You were hers. She could finally understand— it had all happened for a reason. The two of you meeting, you joining the football team, the plane crash… It was all for a reason.
“Don’t you see, baby?” she asked, eyes wide open. A smile split her face in half, making you slightly uneasy. “You are mine. My queen. The child of the Wilderness. We both look out for you.”
On any other day, you would have been combative. You would have told her she was overreacting, and that she should calm down. That the entire thing was maddening, and it was no one’s fault.
But you were so tired, and your leg hurt, and you wanted to cry over the betrayal you had felt when your friends had tried to kill you to eat you.
So instead, you nodded, and followed her back to the attic.
“My baby,” Lottie wrapped a jacket around your shoulders. “You must’ve been so cold. But not anymore.”
She kissed your shoulder when you laid behind her on the bed, and you allowed her to hold you through the night.
Lottie smiled when she felt your breath slow down, indicating you had fallen asleep.
She could hear noises downstairs. The girls were already preparing dinner. She would go down in a while to grab food for the two of you, but until then, she held you tight.
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets fanfic#lottie matthews#lottie mathews x reader#yandere#yandere!lottie matthews#lottie matthews x you#jackie taylor#natalie scatorccio#shauna shipman#yellowjackets x reader#x reader#lesbian#wlw#Courtney Eaton#yj cast#courtney eaton x reader
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Be careful what you wish for
Pairing: reader x rio vidal
Trigger warning: body shamming, self harm, suicide attempt, hate self (if you find more, pls let me know)
English is not my first language, etc etc etc. I don't know how to write romance very well either, but I tried. besides, I'm sure I exaggerated the amount of "you" written. I hope you like the story
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You are tired of the daily humiliations and an unhappy life, you want to die. Luckily, a certain Lady Death has a few things to say about your life.
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You come home tired every day. Tired of the humiliations at work, of having to report every mistake made by employees, of your boss yelling at you, all for a mere minimum wage.
You even asked for a salary increase, but he laughed in your face. A promotion would mean that you would have to present yourself to the shareholders and he couldn't allow that, you know why; to get ahead in life, you need to have the right weight and the right face. You don't have that. You know it, your parents know it and your boss knows it, because he looks you up and down, while denying all your dreams.
"But you are a good employee, who knows next year?" he says before you leave. You feel the humiliation run through your veins.
Yes, next year. If your size "L" becomes "XS", if you put on contact lenses and don't wear glasses, if you do facial harmonization. Yes, you have a chance.
Your colleagues don't like you either. They focus on your appearance and the fact that you're too shy and introverted. They've never invited you to Happy Hour after work, or to one of their birthdays either; you don't like drinking, but you've always wanted to fit in.
You decide you don't care. But the truth is that you care so much that it's hurt so bad, and you need to do something to stop this pain.
You also get tired of your parents asking for money or wanting to get a boyfriend to you, never asking how you are or coming to visit you. You get tired of not having friends, or anyone to lean on. You get tired of life.
You sigh as you change your clothes. You always wear long-sleeved shirts and jeans. You don't want anyone to see how ugly you are... inside and out.
You look at yourself in the mirror, only in your underwear. You analyze the cuts on your skin, everywhere you can reach, you made a lot of cuts, especially on your arms and thighs; some are older, most are recent, leaving blood stains on the clothes you wore.
Your reflection stares back at you, looking amused. You hug yourself, trying to hide from your own gaze, but to no avail. You feel dirty, your sagging skin falling apart in tour hands.
In a world where there are Avengers, supreme wizards, witches, heroes and villains, you feel like nothing. You are nobody.
With no desire at all, you take a shower, using a sponge forcefully on your body, as if that would wash away all the extra pounds. Your hard movement causes the fresh cuts to reopen and you see blood going down the drain along with the soap and water. You are numb.
You remember the ways to calm down your therapist taught you, but they don't work. They never did.
When you see your sleeping pills, you decide that this suffering is no longer worth it. You are not worth it. This will be the first and last time you put yourself first.
You won't leave any letters or explanations, it's not necessary. No one will miss you.
You gather all the medicines you can find and put them in the blender along with the alcohol, there's no going back. You know won't be, you don't want to go back.
No amount of stomach pumping will solve it, in case some gossipy neighbor decides to help you. You've made sure of that.
You need peace. If what's necessary for that is for you to face death, you'll do it with a smile on your face.
You put on the first pajamas you find and drink the entire contents of the glass, grimacing and choking as the liquid burns your throat.
Finally, you lie down on your bed one last time, ready for a dreamless sleep, and then, never to wake up again.
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You opened your eyes, still groggy, and found a vision. A woman in a black robe stared at you. You just thought she was beautiful.
Y/N doesn't believe in God; But if there is an afterlife, you always thought you would be punished for killing yourself. At the very least, you are at the Valley of Suicides, and would suffer in mourning for ages. Either that, or you would go to hell.
However, looking at this woman in front of you, you thought you were in paradise.
The figure softened her expression, smiling a little bit, as if she had heard your thoughts, but soon closed herself off.
"Why did you do that?" she asked you, worried.
Y/N couldn't understand where she was or who that woman was... Maybe she was a neighbor? She thinks she's never seen you in her life, but her vision betrays you, completely blurred.
"I didn't mean to," you answered automatically, not used to someone talking to you for more than five minutes.
The woman didn't believe you. Rio saw your arms and the scarred cuts, but chose not to comment; she didn't want to scare you.
It wasn't the first time Rio had been called to a death by suicide and it certainly wouldn't be the last, but you were intriguing. Usually the others had someone by their side, but you were alone. She didn't want to leave you like this, not when you looked so fragile.
"Who are you?" Your conscience was leaving you, but you wanted to understand.
"I'm Lady Death , my dear." Rio approached you. "I'm here, because you called me."
Was that supposed to make sense? No coherent thought was going through your mind, the various medicines you had swallowed doing their job.
"Am I still alive?" You asked rhetorically, before your body shut down from the pressure.
Rio sighed, wondering where she had gotten herself into.
As the natural order of all things, she could simply heal you and leave, but that wouldn't solve anything. Death can't heal someone's psyche; and once your senses returned, you would try to kill yourself again. Rio couldn't let that happen. She would help you, even if it meant saving you from yourself.
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For weeks, Rio healed your stomach and your injuries a little at a time, and you were getting better, with no more risk of complications because of it in the future.
She would make you food, wake you up and help you to eat, staying with you until you fell asleep again, your body still very weak.
She started to notice you more, how you slept peacefully, the dimples that formed on your face when you smiled, or how your eyes looked at her curiously, even though you couldn't hold a coherent conversation for long.
You don't remember any of this. Your consciousness came and gone the whole time.
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Until one day, you woke up completely lucid. On autopilot, you went to get ready for work and saw yourself in the mirror. You were horrified when you remembered...
You...were alive? You're not even good enough to kill yourself, my God! How is that possible?
You wanted to scream, throw yourself off the building, hit your head hard against the wall until blood came out, anything. You were confused, your mind was all jumbled up. You had planned everything!! Did someone save you??? Why would someone do this?
You were going to puke. You ran to the bathroom, trying to hold on to the walls, shaking. You needed to calm down. You needed to understand what was happening.
The easiest thing to calm you down was your old friend; but when you made the first cut, you noticed that all the others were missing.
No. No. NO!
This can't be happening. It's a nightmare, right? A medication-induced nightmare. Soon it will all pass and you will be dead. Just as it should be.
Meanwhile, you made all the cuts you could, your hand shaking more and more. It didn't work, you hadn't calmed down.
You got up with unsteady steps and went to the kitchen, looking for a knife. You couldn't find one. You also didn't notice the presence behind you, until she spoke to you, her tone mild.
"You need to stop this, Y/N."
Rio was collecting some bodies from the other side of the world, when she felt a tug towards you. You needed her. She hoped it wasn't too late.
"Leave me alone," you shouted, feeling your eyes water. Rio tried to get closer to you, but you backed away. It took you a while to remember who she was, but the clothes she was wearing helped. Death... you almost didn't believe it. You felt betrayed. The only being you thought would truly welcome you with open arms took everything you had; including your reminders.
"You... You saved me," you accused her. Rio had the decency to look guilty. "You took away my free will, you healed me without my permission! You hurt me more than anyone else, you took everything I had." Y/N cried freely now. Tears blurred her vision.
Rio knew what you were talking about. It hurt her that you felt that way. She never wanted to hurt you, only to help you. Lady Death wished she had permission to kill everyone who hurt you throughout your life.
"You don't need them, Y/N." Rio still spoke softly, you could barely hear her.
"Why do you care?"
"I... I fell in love with you." Rio admitted what she had been thinking for days. At some point while taking care of you, she fell in love. Death had never loved anyone before.
Y/N stared at her, motionless. Then, she laughed.
"Is this some kind of joke?" she asked when she caught her breath. Rio shook her head. "Some kind of dirty game between the cosmic entities to attract the weak human's attention?" Rio shook her head once more.
"Seriously, look at me," you shouted, not understanding.
And Rio looked at you. Even with your face red from crying so much, even with the fresh cuts and so much self-loathing, Death found you beautiful.
"I'm looking at," Rio whispered. His heart heavy with your suffering.
"No!" Y/N thought Rio didn't understand. "Look at me!," you shouted with contempt this time. "How can someone like you fall for something like this?" you pointed to yourself.
Rio saw you, she understood you more than you remember. You talked a few times, even with the loose and incoherent words, Death heard you. And she was saddened by every word you said. With the self-loathing that society forced upon you at every step of your life.
Vidal didn't know how to calm you down, so she did the only thing that came to her mind at the moment. She ran to you, grabbed your face and kissed you on the mouth.
It was just a light brush of lips. Rio wanted to show you that she liked you, but you hadn't stopped talking. She wanted you to listen now.
"I see you, S/N" the woman in front of you tried to wipe away your tears, in vain. They kept coming freely. "I see you and I understand you" you found yourself relaxing your face towards the hand that caressed you. "I want to kill all those idiots who once hurt you, because you, Y/N Y/S, are an incredible woman. And not a "it thing", I am sure".
You wanted to complain, but Rio didn't let you. She wasn't finished.
"S/N, you're so sweet, so selfless, you have such a good heart" Rio continued. "Never believe anyone who tells you otherwise, because you are beautiful. Beautiful inside and out. Your life is worth living" by the look she gave you, you saw the truth in her eyes. She truly believed the words she said, even if you didn't. "I think you are the prettiest girl in the world, and The Death doesn't lies, sweetie".
Y/N couldn't answer, your body gave out and you passed out. Rio caught you before you fell and carried you to your bed.
"It's okay, my love" Rio whispered, kissing you on the forehead "I can be strong for both of us, until you make it"
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You woke up completely healed. Rio would leave you alone now, if you wish. It would break her heart, but she wanted you happy.
You didn't need to look around to know she was still there.
"Are you ever going to leave?" You stood up, sitting up.
"Only if you want to" Rio approached you, this time you didn't back away, but you didn't answer her.
With the physical healing, you began to remember the previous weeks and found yourself enjoying her presence; the moments you spent together. A smile escaped your lips and it did not go unnoticed by Rio.
"May I?" Vidal pointed to the space next to you and you nodded. You felt the bed sink with the new weight, and you looked down at your hands; you were suddenly embarrassed, very aware of yesterday's closeness.
"Thank you," you thanked, realizing that the cuts from yesterday were still present on your skin.
Rio nodded. "I apologize for before, I shouldn't have done that without your permission, if they were important to you."
Rio didn't apologize for saving your life. That, she didn't regret it for a second. She would do it again if she had to, but Rio really hoped it was the first and last time.
Y/N didn't answer, instead asking another question.
"Do you really like me?" You were afraid of the answer, both the "yes" and the "no."
"Yes, I do." That simple sentence made Y/N look into Vidal's soft eyes. You saw the same thing as yesterday: Unconditional love. You still.don't know how it's possible for Death to fall in love with someone like you, "And I want to be with you."
You opened your mouth, but quickly closed it. Everything that had happened to you flashed through your mind.
"The heart doesn't choose who it falls in love with, Y/N." Rio realized that you were afraid of getting hurt again, maybe it would be better to leave you alone.
"You don't have to answer, dear. I won't take up any more of your time." Death stood up, ready to leave and never see you again, if that was what you wanted.
"Wait..." you asked, your voice barely louder than a whisper, "stay." You grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly.
Rio turned around and listened carefully.
"I... I like your company." you continued.
The "I like you too" was still stuck in your throat. You couldn't say it yet, it was too early. Fortunately, Death is a patient being.
"And from what I remember these past few weeks, I had a lot of fun with you," you sighed. "But I can't return your love." You looked at the floor, embarrassed. "I don't know how to love someone or be loved, I don't even know how to love myself."
Rio was silent for a few minutes. Y/N was sure she had lost her chance at happiness.
"Oh, darling," Rio knelt in front of you and caressed your face, softly. You could get used to this every day. "I can teach you to love yourself, like I love you...if you let me. I want to spend my eternity by your side."
Her eyes were so beautiful and bright, you could get lost in their immensity. You could love her over time, you know that. You just have to let yourself.
You nodded slightly and Rio smiled, moving closer.
"May I?" She asked for the second time that day, but this time it was to kiss you. You smiled, taking the initiative now.
It would be a long journey for the two of you, with some ups and downs, but Y/N would never feel hated again. Rio Vidal would kill everyone before they had the chance to hurt you.
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✦ How they comfort you when you wake up from a nightmare
(F!Harbingers edition) Columbina, Arlecchino, Sandrone, Signora
(Due to the popular demands of many anon lovelies – I made an iteration of this fic under the same name, but female Harbingers edition! Hope I didn't disappoint, sorry if I couldn’t tag those old requests!)
It was a mere fleeting image, an illusion conjured by your weary mind as you plunged deeper into sleep. Yet as your unconscious brain fought off the shackles of nightmares, your body jolted awake with a gasp. In the deafening silence of the bedroom, only the sound of your breathing is uttered. It is then, when you sit up, that you start feeling the deft, gentle hands of your beloved shuffle from behind you.
✧ You were trying to regain your breath when you noticed something shift beside you in bed. Columbina’s hands silently found themselves around your shoulder, her chest pressing onto your back.
“Hm, a restless night, my angel?”
You blinked your groggy fatigue away. With a wistful nod, you confirmed Columbina’s suspicion. She sensed your bashfulness to talk about the dream, not wishing to make her worry any more than she already does when doting on you.
“Shh… Shh, just breathe. There is no need to feel flustered over something as natural as dreams,” – The Harbinger whispered through a mystic smile. She settled the pillows behind you, pulling you gently to her bosom while she embraced you. “Dreams, like nightmares, are all part of every living being. Some dreams are sweet, while others are engulfing.”
You listened to her voice, trying to ease your mind. You looked up at her; as always, her eyes were covered with white lace, yet her smile remained. Even if she spoke about macabre nightmares.
“Rest your weary head, now, angel. Want me to sing you a melody?”
You nodded, as expected. The Dove’s voice hummed a gentle melody in the darkness of your bedroom. Her voice carries a slow lullaby, melancholic almost, as she serenades you into rest. Like a lonesome bird, singing for her one only, telling the other: ‘I am here, with you in the dark’. She embraced you with her voice all while caressing your head and pulling you back into dreamless slumber.
✧ When you awoke, the first thing you spotted was Arlecchino's charred hands placing a teacup on the nightstand beside you. You are unsure if you escaped your nightmare by gasping for air, or because you heard her stirring the warm liquid of the cup nearby.
“You were having a nightmare,” – Arlecchino did not ask, but stated. She sat at the edge of the bed, her coat left hanging by a nearby chair. “What troubles you so?”
You tried to sit up, but she silently ushered you to remain in bed. Sensing your already dazed expression being haunted with fatigue, Arlecchino shifted to sit closer. Her hand clasped yours in a tender gesture, even though her eyes remained stern.
You hesitated but relented. As you lay there in bed, looking up at her x-shaped pupils, you confessed about the lingering horrors of a crimson moon in your nightmares, how your breath runs short as if something is clawing at your neck. The Knave remained silent, her eyes cautiously narrowing as she observed you.
“Perhaps the mind plays tricks on us when one is exhausted. Perhaps it's premonitions. Either way,” – her fingers gently came to caress your skin, brushing your hair back. “You mustn't let your exhaustion overwhelm you. Rest, now, and drink something warm.”
Her words were hushed, and her fingers kept brushing through your hair. A smile graced your lips when she ushered for the teacup by the nightstand, but you didn't feel like getting up. Instead, you were content staring at the depth of her black eyes, the red hue no longer threatening but soothing, even if it was the only color in the dark.
Arlecchino respected your need for silence. Her sharp nails kept gently gliding over your skin, but she never fully let go. Despite her composed attitude and gentle grasp, her mind ran miles as she thought of ways to decimate all troubles for the one most beloved to her.
✧ By the time you sat in bed, you heard familiar taps of small, rushed footsteps beside you. Sandrone, as if in a mechanical emergency, stood diligently beside you, her eyes inquisitive on your sudden gasps – “Is something the matter…? Your breathing is hurried.”
You blinked, placing your hand on your forehead as realization dawned on you. Shaking your head softly, you reassured that it was a brief nightmare while you napped. But this did not diminish the wide peering eyes of the Harbinger.
“Hm. I see. An unpleasant mental image processed by your subconscious. Then you must be feeling distraught,” - she pondered for a while, before nodding with determination. “Stay here. I must issue you a warm beverage at once!”
Before you could protest, the wind-up key on Sandrone’s back was already spinning, her body moving in elegant clockwork, ardently rushing to make you something warm to drink. Even her giant servant, the modified Ruin Guard, arrived at her command with warm blankets and a comforter.
You, obviously, had no say when that robot lifted you while Sandrone organized the bed more comfortably with pillows and blankets.
Any words of assurance that you tried to mutter went completely unheard by Sandrone. She motioned for her robotic servant to place you back, ensuring you were comfortable first before she gently climbed beside you.
“No, it cannot be a simple dream. Why would your heartbeat be alleviated, and your breathing labored?” - her voice was soft yet insistent as she scooted closer in worry. “Maybe yet, it's not about a nightmare, but something subconsciously worrying you…?”
Oh no, you recognized her shift from innocent worry to threatening fixation.
“... Maybe someone is the reason for these psychological disturbances? A pest hindering you?”
You placed both of your hands on her shoulders in hopes of calming her down. If something catches her attention, or Archons forbid, her suspicion - the 7th of Fatui Harbingers would never settle down with mercy, despite her innocent appearance. Under your permission, she scooted closer, her smaller frame pressed to your side. Your warmth against her doll-like features assured her that you were here, safe beside her.
“I won't let anything harm what is mine. Even if it's something nonphysical,” - her head leaned on your shoulder, whispering hushed vows of promised tempest. “My most precious is for no one to tamper with.”
✧ As you stirred and struggled in your sleep, you felt a warm hand rest upon your forehead. La Signora sensed your unrest before you could even open your eyes, yet her simple motion grounded you back to reality as you called her name - Rosalyne.
“Honestly, must I wake you like a mother whenever your dreams are restless?” – she leaned beside you in bed, watching over you with an amused smile, long locks of blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders. “Another nightmare, darling?”
You slowly opened your eyes and nodded.
“Hm. Come here, closer.” – she hummed as she sat up in bed, gently guiding you to rest your head on her lap. Even when her skin looked pristine and cold, you felt warm trails leave her fingertips as she caressed your forehead. You let out a deep breath, feeling your bedroom hair brushed away from your face, while Signora continued:
“You know, when I have nightmares, I quickly remind myself that these are nothing but memories. And being held hostage in the past is a weakness,” – her voice shifted lowly. “Do not allow some fleeting memories to take hold of you.”
You listen to her words; the question of whether she still sees nightmares in her sleep escapes you without a warning. But Signora just smiled faintly. When she saw you nuzzle to her, your gaze apologetic and timid in the dimness of the night, she did not scold you; she instead leaned carefully to plant a warm kiss on your forehead, like a Pyro Crystalfly landing in your head.
“It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that you are here, beside me.”
(the bad thing about writing f!Harbingers for me is that I feel like I'm making random headcanons about their personalities, especially Columbina and Sandrone. We haven't seen them in-game yet and only got Arle as playable. I am biased because I wish we got more Harbingers in each region and not make them background villains. Anyway, thx for reading)
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#columbina x reader#arlecchino x reader#arlecchino x you#sandrone x reader#signora x reader#la signora x reader#gn reader#genshin impact fatui#fatui harbingers x reader#fatui x reader#fatui harbingers#columbina genshin#genshin arlecchino#arlecchino#sandrone#la signora#genshin signora#genshin headcanons#genshin impact x reader#genshin fanfic#genshin fluff
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focus on me
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/14cc78d7d5dd28494ad32d9dd4f471e0/2679c7285b383db3-78/s540x810/18a73d2b23685cecbef9709d8451fe6df7f4933b.jpg)
pairing: yang jeongin x fem!reader
genre: smut
warnings: cockwarming, unprotected sex (please dont), pre-discussed somnophilia, lmk if i forgot anything, lowercase intended
— 1.215 words
— minors dni
you had wandered into his room 20 minutes ago, or was it an hour? your mind is hazy. jeongin had his arms around you, his fingers working swifty on the controller as he hummed a tune. his concentration not disturbed by the fact that you were sat with his throbbing cock inside you. he promised you to fuck you once he was done with the game, but the game kept getting longer and longer.
you huff, feeling desperate and a little annoyed.
"10 more minutes baby" he says for the 4th time, his dedication to the game not wavering as you whined and squirmed everytime he jerked in his seat. every so often he would take a few seconds to kiss your neck, giving you false hope of him losing off the game. but his eyes would always go back to the game.
as you let out a lustful whine, you began to rock your hips. your movements becoming even more frantic as you are filled with undeniable desire; each rock of your hips was met with the same pressure from his soft but solid length. it caused your pussy to clench ever so hard. tears of frustration collecting in your eyes. you were getting so close, your cries for him muffled by the loud noises from his game. however, throughout all that, there wasn't a hint of any change in jeongin's expressions.
he didn't notice your tears, though a part of him nags him to pause and look at your face. instead, the only reaction you got from him were his lips that gently grazed the underside of your jaw, before returning back to the satisfying task of kissing your neck. satisfying for both of you, but not enough to completely cater to your needs.
your head lowered until it finally hung low; not because of embarrassment, but mostly from exhaustion. in this state, you couldn't even bear to pleasure yourself anymore. you slumped forward onto jeongin's chest and fell asleep with your eyes drooping shut. your pussy still clung to his length, its throbbing rhythm a testament to the intensity of the pleasures you craved.
even in your doze, he could feel the way you were dripping onto him, making the seat of his pants slightly sticky. with a sigh, he paused the game and watched as you slumbered right above his heart, nestled cozily against him. a smile tugged on the corner of his lips.
isn't it amusing how someone smaller than him could leave him trembling with need, as well as giving jeongin this feeling of possessiveness…
the dried tracks of your tears on your cheeks spoke volumes, showing your desperation for an intimate physical connection with him. meanwhile, the slick that had accumulated on his cock, trickled onto his chair. however, as fate would have it, you drifted off to sleep, trusting him to take care of you.
jeongin was more than happy to reciprocate that trust. he had a finger hooked behind your knee, raising it up to rest on his hip. this left you even more exposed, allowing him easier access to your wet entrance. his breathing intensified as he traced the tip of his cock along your folds, teasing you without penetrating.
with his free hand he continued to play his game, the rhythm was slow yet deliberate, setting a steady pace of pleasure for both you and him.
as jeongin slowly pulled out, the absence of his cock within you resulted in a loss that your body protested against. a whine escaped your parted lips, voicing your sleepy complaint. your hips jerked unconsciously, searching for the firmness that jeongin possessed.
however, in your dreamless slumber, you remained unaware about what was going on around you. your lashes hid your eyes, and your face relaxed into a contented smile–not that it would last for long. soon, his cock would return, this time pushing deep inside and filling you entirely.
the sway of your breasts along with those subtle movements caused jeongin's cock to glide through your slippery folds, coating his entire length. he thrust harder, using your raised leg as leverage, ramming himself deeper and hitting all the right spots, his game long forgotten.
just as he was about to change his angle, your eyes opened abruptly. at first, they were heavily hooded with slumber, making them appear indescribably seductive. and oh, how they widened when you finally registered your surroundings. your gaze zeroed in on jeongin, causing your fingers to clutch his shoulders with need. with every thrust he made, a sweet mixture of moans filled the room.
besides the sounds of game, jeongin was making low groaning noises as well. the combination of those erotic sounds coupled with the slap of skin against skin added to the sensations you both felt. jeongin knew that soon you'll be gasping for air, your teeth sinking into your lower lip, biting down while your nails dug into his shoulders.
a mix of eagerness and hunger flashed across your features, and jeongin could hardly wait for when your eyes rolled back from the intense pleasure he was inflicting upon you. his stamina was abysmal, but he promised to make up for that with his technique that was more than enough to send chills up your spine.
the beast within you came alive as you clenched around him deep in the throes of ecstasy. with a grunt, jeongin increased his pace, shifting slightly to directly hit that spongy spot inside you. the sound of your frantic pleas mingled with his wanton grunts, creating a carnal symphony.
jeongin started to bite down on your throat, feeling how your heart raced under his teeth. his hand squeezing the back on your neck harder, as if to give you that extra breath you needed. he managed to pinch a nipple between his fingers, rolling it with a low moan.
he felt how you quivered against him, your body tensing. he pulled back, slamming forward into you once more, driving you over the edge.
jeongin felt as if time slowed as you achieved climax. the way you shuddered and your back arched as you milked his cock. that single second was when jeongin's own orgasm threatened to break free, painting your insides with his seed. through his own breathy sounds of release, he could only flick his tongue against your neck, effectively marking that spot as his.
as you both lay against each other, basking in the aftermath of your intimacy. jeongin looks down at you leaning on him, his chest blooming with love for you. he was going to clean you up, assess the damage, and fall asleep, right next to you.
when morning arrived, jeongin would probably wake up covered in sweat and sticky with love. And the scent of your arousal would be imprinted on his clothes. later, he'd think about all that happened, indulging in how perfect those moments had been. it was the simple things that mattered, and this wouldn't be the last late-night rendezvous.
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© 2024 minnies-babie. All rights reserved
Do not repost or translate my works
#i.n#jeongin#yang jeongin#jeongin smut#skz#stray kids#skz smut#stray kids smut#jeongin x you#jeongin x reader
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gamble (alternative ending)
after some feedback from the original fic, I've decided to share the original ending to gamble that I had to change/cut because of Tumblr's post-size policies!
gamble - a jj maybank x fem!kook!reader 22k word fic - can be read here!
BBBRRRINNNGGGG. BBBRRRINNNGGGG.
You startle awake, shooting up in bed like you’ve been electrocuted. It’s one of those feelings when you don’t remember where you are or when you fell asleep. As you rub at your eyes and let them focus on your surroundings, illuminated by the soft glow of your bedside lamp through the darkness, you remember. You’re in your bed, in your room. Your mom must have left you to sleep after you nodded off, finally at some semblance of peace to get some rest. The sleep you fell into was dreamless and well-needed.
BBBRRRINNNGGGG.
Blindly reaching for your vibrating phone, you squint at the bright screen and make out Kie’s contact picture and name. You swipe to answer.
“Hello?” you mumble, half-asleep.
“Hey! Can you hear me okay?”
“Yeah,” you yawn, rubbing at your eyes again. “What time is it?”
“I don’t remember. Like ten, maybe? Eleven?”
“Hmngh.”
“Are you busy?”
“Not really,” you sleepily reply.
“I think you need to come over,” Kiara says. Something about her tone has you awake like a shot of espresso. You push the covers down off you.
“Is everything okay?”
She sighs and that does little to ease your worries. “Look, I know you and JJ are in a bit of a fight-thing right now - I don’t know, maybe that’s why he’s acting the way he is, at least partially but–”
“Kie? What’s going on?” you interrupt.
“I just…” She sighs again, then finally says, “I just think JJ really needs you right now.”
“I’m on my way,” you reply, hanging up. You climb out of bed and don’t bother getting dressed past pulling on a sweatshirt. The clothes on your body are three days old; you changed once since the conversation with JJ. A pair of mac and cheese stained sweatpants and an old tank top. Ranger wakes as you make your way down the stairs and you decide to let him join. It’s disorientating as you sneak out the house into darkness, considering that you fell asleep in the daylight. The two of you load into your car and you’re leaving your house in record time. In the rearview mirror you check your hair and cuss, trying to smooth it down. Your skin is makeup free and body empty of jewellery, save from the bracelet that twins JJ’s. It makes you feel somewhat naked. As if he heard the whole conversation, Ranger whines from the passenger seat. You murmur reassurances and pet his head as you drive down the deserted roads. The Chateau beams into sight from your headlights. But there’s something else. Some other light, bright and illuminating, from the yard that wasn’t there before. You park your car and climb out, Ranger quick to follow, and walk into the yard. Your eyes widen as they land on a hot tub.
“What…the…fuck?”
“Oh, thank God,” Kiara exhales in relief, appearing in the doorway of the porch. She rushes down to you and wraps you in a hug, and you’re happy to return it. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t want to get involved in whatever it is going on with you and JJ, and I never really know if we’re friends or just circumstance friends but–”
“Kie! It’s fine, it’s fine,” you interrupt with a small laugh, a tad concerned. You pull apart, hands on her shoulders, to meet her gaze. Your smile melts with unease, eyes heavy with worry. “What’s going on? Is JJ okay?”
She sighs and shakes her head. She takes a step away from you and rubs at her head. “He got in a fight with his dad. Some stuff went down after you two had your…talk. I don’t know…It might just be better to ask him.”
You purse your lips and nod slowly, contemplatively.
“He’s inside,” Kiara tells you. With that, you make your way up the porch stops. At the front door, you falter and stop. Would he even want to see you? Was this somehow breaking the rules of your ‘non-break’; not giving him the space he needs to think and function away from you? You recount the past three days of your side of the non-break. How you’ve spent them hiding in your bed, crying at the oddest moments, feeling the lack of JJ’s company like you lost a limb. Ranger rubs at your leg, whining, and you decide to trust your gut. If he wants you to leave, all he has to do is say, but you’re certain Kiara wouldn’t call for just any old thing.
The spare bedroom door is shut. Ranger whines and whines and scratches at the door. Your hands wrap around the handle and you take a steady breath in. The rickety handle creaks as you slowly push it open, the hinges protesting loudly. One of your hands leans down to grab at Ranger’s collar to keep him by your heel. On the bed is JJ, slumped as he sits, his back to the door.
“Kie, I told you to jus’ leave me alone, a’right? I’m fine,” he mumbles. His voice is thick like he’s been crying. You swallow.
“It’s not Kiara,” you quietly confess. JJ whips around. His lips part and eyes gape and he stares at you as you stand awkwardly in the doorway. You probably look just as much of a mess; days-old clothing, unruly hair, make-up free and irritated skin. Funnily enough, a diet of purely Reese’s Pieces is not the best for keeping spots and blemishes at bay.
“What are you doing here?” he says in a tone that you can’t quite decipher.
“Kiara called me,” you reply, shrugging as you add, “she’s worried about you and thought I should come over.”
“Oh, uh, right.”
His head slumps and he stares at the blanket atop of his bed. You purse your lips and feel the awkwardness and unease consume your entire body. Contemplating leaving, you glance behind you, into the silent hallway. But then Ranger somehow manages to slip from your hold. He races over to JJ like a rescue dog in the mountains, clambering onto the bed, ambushing JJ. He laughs at the onslaught of slobbery kisses, letting Ranger imitate a lap dog. His fingers scratch into the coarse fun on Ranger’s neck and he chuckles.
“I missed you too, boy,” he murmurs. You smile at the sight. JJ glances over at you.
“I figured you might need a puppy-pick-me-up. He missed you like crazy.” You then take a shaky breath as you go on to admit, “we both did.”
A look flashes across JJ’s face then. His smile lessens as if in thought, and he nods. “I missed you too.”
“I can leave if you want me to leave,” you tell him. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“No,” JJ blurts, quick like a cat running from a loud bang. “No, don’t…don’t leave. Please.”
You nod. You’d stay forever if he asked you to. You’re not sure there’s many things JJ could ask of you that you’d protest to. Closing the door behind you, you wander over to the bed and sit sort of opposite to him, on the side nearest the door. Ranger settles half laid in JJ’s lap, appeased now that he’s in the company of perhaps his favourite person in the world. Your eyes survey JJ’s face for new injuries and am relieved to find none. The old have healed completely now too, thank God. That’s a relief at least. He’s unharmed. Or so you thought.
“Do you, uh…Do you remember when we went fishing, just last week? I don’t know, it feels like a lifetime ago now but…” you cut yourself off nervously with a laugh. JJ nods vaguely. “D’you remember what I said to you?”
“That you’re an armed woman, now?” JJ wonders, quirking a brow, that cute, playful smile trying to break out.
You laugh quietly, shortly, and dip your head for a moment. “Not just that though. D’you remember that I told you that you can always tell me anything, and that I’m always gonna be on your side?”
JJ nods again.
“It’s kinda ironic cause I think that’s when you started putting up these walls,” you say. Another small breath in and then you continue, “and I don’t blame you for it, JJ. In fact, I think I understand it.”
His brows tug together, unclear, and you’re not sure you’ve ever known him to be this quiet before.
“I can’t relate to you, JJ. I have my own struggles with trivial kind of stuff but I don’t know real struggle. Not like you do. So, I don’t blame you. I mean, why would you let a rich, stook-up Kook into that?”
“I ain’t mean it like–”
“--No, no, I’m not mad. I’m not saying that to be all ‘woe is me’ or whatever. I mean it. Like…I get it,” you interrupt, fighting to hold his eyesight. “It just hurts, y’know? Cause the thing is, I love you. I love you no matter what. No matter the ‘bad decisions’ and the stupid choices, like the Midsummer’s fiasco or whatever. But I can’t love you, JJ, if I don’t know you. If I don’t know these things about you. I don’t like being left on the outside. It makes me feel like I don’t matter to you, and I don’t know if I can take that feeling, y’know?”
JJ licks his lips nervously and clears his throat. He nods, glances around the room, uncomfortable by your candidness. JJ doesn't come from a place where conversations like these were encouraged or common and so, as if to reassure, your hand finds his on the blanket. You softly envelope it with your warmth. He stares at that small gesture for a long while.
“I just don’t want you to think less of me,” JJ confesses quietly. “I’m a scumbag, a’right? I make dumbass choices and get myself into dumbass situations and I’m not good for you.”
“Yes, you are, JJ. You’re a good person.”
“No, I ain’t,” he quickly dismisses, meeting your gaze once more. And he means that. It hurts you so bad because he means it. “I ain’t a good person.”
“Don’t say that,” you whisper. “You’re a good person to me, okay? I don’t care about all that other noise–”
“--Well, you should, alright?” JJ snaps, losing his tether. His hand slips from your comfort to flail out into the air in a wild gesture. “I mean, Jesus! I just fuckin’ robbed a drug dealer and blew the money on a hottub, for Christ’s sake - and you’re sitting here telling me I’m a good person?”
You look down with that. JJ catches his anger and sighs, shakes his head, disappointed. “I’m sorry, I just…This is what I mean. I can’t let you get that close to me.”
“I get it,” you mutter. “You don’t love me, JJ, that’s okay. That’s not your fault.”
“No, hey - what? I never said I don’t love you.”
“You never tell me that you do,” you whisper, eyes stinging with tears yet again. You look at him and offer him a shaky smile. “I don’t want to force someone to be with me, JJ.”
“I don’t want you to tie yourself to me,” JJ out-right states. As if surprised by his own truthfulness, he’s spurred on. “I don’t want you to say you’re okay with these things now and then look around in three months time or whatever, and realise just what a fuck-up you’re with.”
“I’m never gonna think that,” you tell him. “I’m never gonna think you’re a fuck-up.”
JJ looks unsure of whether to believe you or not. Your hand finds his again, the other landing on his thigh. “I mean it, JJ. I’m in love with you. I don’t care what batshit, crazy stuff you get yourself involved in, as long as I’m in it too. I’m in, okay? All of it. I’m in. You just gotta stop shutting me out, yeah?"
JJ shakes his head slowly. But he’s easing up, coaxing open like a conker from its spiky shell. His tone is joking, lighter like buttercream, as he says, “You’re insane.”
“Maybe,” you say, smiling sweetly. “But I’m your baby.”
He smiles at that.
“So, will you tell me? All of it? Please,” you request.
And he does.
It’s hard at first, like he’s forcing the words out syllable by syllable, but then it gets easier. The stories. The reasons. The motives. It starts with the hurricane - hurricane Agatha - and then with the white boat that they found. That’s where he got that gun - the same gun that you used to save him from Rafe and Topper - and you distantly recall his story. Then bits and pieces continue to crop up surrounding the Royal Merchant: the compass, the package…Then comes the grocery run and the jump on Pope, and the revenge. How Pope sank the boat, not JJ. That’s when the scruff up happened at the outdoor theatre, with you wielding the gun and saving their asses. Soon after came the arrest, originally intended for Pope but JJ gladly taking the fall. The pictures in the interrogation room of those men, bludgeoned and killed with a fishing spear before being left for shark bait. How JJ was terrified of that happening to John B but, more importantly, of it happening to you. First Rafe's ever-looming threat over your head and now this, and JJ felt like it was all because of him.
So he started to shut you out of it. Wanted to keep you at arms length. You couldn't get wrapped up in the Royal Merchant madness if you knew nothing about it.
"Cause I have to keep you safe," JJ mumbles, gazing into your eyes. "You're the most important thing in the world t'me, y'know? If something happened to you...and it was because of me..."
His voice trails off as if he can't bare the thought. Your heart swells. You squeeze his hand reassuringly and it prompts him to go on. JJ returns to the story. To how his dad beat him when he came to pick him up, and that’s why he was black-and-blue when he came to your house for dinner with your parents. God, if only you knew. After, with Midsummers, with John B dating Sarah Cameron (hence the secret note) and the meet-up at Rixon’s surrounding the Royal Merchant and the gold. How you weren’t invited because above everything else, JJ had to keep you safe. Then, they found it. They actually found the gold, under the Crain house, and they were going to be rich. Stinking, fucking, stupid rich. That brought them to today.
“So we melt the gold down,” JJ recounts, petting Ranger’s sleeping head. “And go to this pawn shop, a’right, way up town in like dodge-ville. I’m the one who’s gotta pawn this hunk of crap ‘cause I’m the best at bullshitting, so I go in and spin this whole yarn about my dementia-crazed mom or some shit. The pawn broker sends us out to the middle of butt-fuck nowhere, and we get jumped by this random guy with a gun. He held it to our heads and made us give up the gold, but John B got the upper hand, right? You following? And I lost my shit, okay? Like things just felt…With you and the whole ‘break that isn’t a break’ thing, and the gun…I lost me shit, and I wanted to get even. An eye for an eye and all that crap - I mean, you know, you’ve read the bible. So we go to his shitty ass trailer and I steal the twenty-K that I owe for that boat Pope sank. But the others weren’t, uh…they weren’t super cool with that, so I went off alone, a’right? Cause I don’t need anybody but me, yeah? And I go to my dad and give him the money to settle up with the cops. But…But he don’t wanna do that. So this whole…thing starts and…”
JJ loses his momentum. His lower lip starts to tremble and this infuriates him. Huffing, he presses his hand over his mouth. You frown, worried, brows so closely knit they might as well be one. A shuddering breath that’s so deeply unfamiliar to hear in JJ lets slip. A tear trickles tellingly down his cheek.
“Oh, JJ,” you murmur.
“I nearly fuckin’ killed him,” JJ gasps. More tears fall. He stares you down as he repeats, “I nearly fuckin’ killed him and I-- I just couldn’t take it anymore, y'know? I couldn’t take it–”
You throw your arms around his shoulders and pull his shivering body into you. JJ rests his head on your shoulder, burying his face in your collarbone, and he sobs. Your own eyes well at the feeling of his pain leaking onto you, and you press your nose against the collar of his shirt, breathing in the only smell that can bring you calm. Your own personal brand of nicotine. His arms raise to cradle your back, holding you close just as you do him, and you let him cry. With every tear, it’s as though another brick has been pulled free from the walls he’s been building in the past two short weeks.
Even when the headfirst sadness has passed, you hold him. It’s safe here, in this corner of the world, once again lapped in moonbeams and darkness.
“I do love you,” JJ says against your skin. His breath is warm as it fans across the flesh. “It’s jus’...my family, we didn’t do the whole talking thing. I’m not used to really tellin’ anybody anything, let alone how I feel. It’s easy enough saying it to my friends but with you, like that…It scares the crap outta me.”
“Why?” you breathe, pulling back to be able to meet his gaze. Your head shakes as you gently say, “why is it so hard when I say it to you all the time? You know I’m never gonna turn you away or shoot you down for saying it.”
“I don't’ know,” JJ admits. “I don’t know, I guess I just have this thing that tells me I shouldn’t ever tell anybody.”
“In case you ever want to take it back?” you wonder.
JJ swallows thickly like taking medicine. He shakes his head. His eyes look so sad you could weep.
“No. In case you ever want me to.”
Lips parting, something clicks in your head. You think about the past two weeks. How your parents welcomed JJ into their house with open arms, whereas JJ is lucky if he can stay in his for a week without a blow-up. How you lean into your mom for comfort, whereas JJ can only find that in the bottom of a bottle. You’d only ever been met with love and grace and forgiveness. JJ? He knew betrayal and abandonment and disdain. You said you understood before, the first time he told you that he loved you, way back after the fight at the outdoor movie, but you didn’t. Not until now.
“I drove past your house everyday, y’know?” JJ mumbles. “I wanted to call you so bad but I know you wanted this space and that I'd already fucked it up with the whole Ashley thing. I don't know...I guess I just didn't wanna push you. But I wanted to come over, so bad.”
A laugh bubbles up your throat and you can’t swallow it back. Shaking your head, you admit, “I thought about you everyday.”
JJ smiles, then starts to laugh under breath. “Wow. We’re really good at this, huh?”
“You should’ve come over,” you tell him, a teasing smile on your lips. “That’s what the guys do in the movies.”
He scoffs, shaking his head, grinning. “Now that just ain’t fair!”
The two of you sit in your laughter. It’s heavy like it holds stones in the pockets, but with each giggle you feel yourself becoming lighter. When the humour dies down, the two of you are left with sated smiles, gazing at one another. But JJ’s smile begins to fade. That same look of sorrow comes over his face.
“I don’t wanna lose you,” he whispers. “I’m sorry I shut you out. I just...I just never wanna lose you.”
You shake your head. “You’re not gonna lose me, JJ.”
“You promise?”
“On Ranger’s life,” you say with a flicker of humour. He smiles, small, and nods. His hair is still damp and sits sticky on his forehead.
“I should’ve told you about Ashley. I thought I was maybe saving you, or somethin’, by not but…You deserve to know. You’re entitled to know,” he affirms. “I’ll tell you anything you want. I swear.”
“I don’t need to know about the others, JJ,” you reply, meaning every word. Your hand squeezes his tightly. “I trust you.”
Both of your gazes drift down to your interlocked hands. On yours and JJ's wrists sit your handmade bracelets; the beads of your initials press against one another as if embracing.
“Fuck,” JJ breathes out in a dying laugh. “I love you so fuckin’ much.”
Your head darts up. The words hang themselves in your head like bunting. A girlish, giddy smile breaks out on your lips. JJ begins to mirror it.
“You do?” you giggle.
His head bumps against yours. The smell of chlorine and prosecco comes and goes like the tide. Your lips want to chase his but something keeps you at bay, waiting for him. You found him first: now it was his turn to find you.
“I can’t promise that I’m not gonna keep fuckin’ things up. But you came into my life and fuckin' turned my world of grey into colour. And I don't...I don't know if I can see those kinda things without you."
And somehow, someway, that's deeper than 'I love you'.
"Promise to let me in, now?"
Despite your closed eyes, you can see JJ's smile clear as day.
"I promise. You're officially a Pogue."
JJ’s lips find yours like a migrating bird returning home, and you feel as though you can finally breathe right for the first time in three days. Your fingers slip into his hair, combing through the strands, and JJ’s palms and fingers caress across your figure, as if tracing your body back into his mind.
And as the two of you kiss, you realise that this was all it ever had to be. It was never that complicated, never that layered, because all that mattered was JJ. Wonderfully, recklessly-imperfect, Pogue through-and-through JJ.
#jj x reader#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#jj#obx#outer banks#outerbanks#obx 4#outerbanks 4#outer banks 4#outerbanks season 4#outer banks season 4#obx season 4#jj x kook!reader#jj maybank x kook!reader#kook!reader
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TMNT Headcanon - When You Can't Sleep
Authors Note: I feel I need to clarify one thing. I’m aware that some people rely on marijuana to help with sleeplessness but I personally don’t use it so it’s unlikely to have a place in my writing. Recreational drugs in general won’t really be something I write about. Call me a straight-edge but I prefer leaving it out. I will write about alcohol usage since I do occasionally have a drink with friends.
Anyway, I actually have been having some rough nights lately so therefore we have this.
Individual TMNT x Reader
TW: Mentions of sex
You’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. Lucky for you, you’ve got plenty of cure-alls. It all depends on who you ask.
Mikey
Your cuddly turtle boyfriend is no stranger to insomnia. Sometimes, the life of a ninja was too heavy, even for him and his upbeat persona. You knew Mikey could feel things a little too deeply and replay horrifying images continuously in his head. Over the years he’s developed some coping strategies. For you, he’ll offer you a melatonin gummy and something hot to drink. Tea, hot chocolate, or warm milk. If you still can’t sleep after that, he’ll stay up with you. He’ll cuddle you, rub your back, play some calming music… most of all, he’ll tell you that whatever this is, will pass. You might start panicking a little bit, telling him through tears that you’re afraid you’ll never sleep again, but he’ll assure you that you will. After all, no one died from a few sleepless nights. His gentle reassurances are just what you need to hear, and eventually you do drop off into a peaceful and dreamless sleep.
Raph
Not nearly as tactful as his baby brother, Raph will bluntly offer to give you an orgasm. After all, that’s one of his go-to’s when he can’t sleep. Raph is actually the only one of his brothers to have a somewhat healthy sleeping schedule. Disturbing images, horror, and depressing stories just don’t hold a lot of weight for him. They still affect him, but he’s able to compartmentalize these things and drop off to sleep rather easily at night. He’ll still try to help you with your insomnia, though, like a good boyfriend should. If the offer of sex is turned down, he’ll offer a backrub – an innocent one, of course. No ulterior motive, he’ll promise. He’s very good with his hands and able to work out any knots, kinks, or stiffness, getting you very relaxed in no time at all. You might accept his offer for sex then, just because he’s been so sweet and patient, and given you an amazing massage. It works. In the afterglow, you’re asleep and cuddled up next to him, wrapped in his comforting embrace.
Leo
His first reaction will be concern, and he might pepper you with a few questions. Did you watch something disturbing? Is anything causing you stress or causing you to worry? Is it something he did? You quickly assure him he’s done nothing to cause it. You actually don’t know the reason; you just can’t shut off your brain for some reason. Upon hearing this, he’ll light some calming incense and offer you tea, of course. This blend will be a combination of valerian root, peppermint leaf, and a few others that promote wellness and sleep. True to form, he’ll also recommend meditation, except he’ll have you do it a little differently than you normally would. After your tea he’ll instruct you to lay down in his bed, get comfortable, and close your eyes. He’ll have you breathe deeply as he leads you through the most peaceful guided meditation you’ve ever experienced. It’s so relaxing that you have no trouble falling asleep after that. Leo will follow suit and be careful not to disturb you as he crawls in next to you.
Donnie
He is the worst about having a healthy sleep schedule. It isn’t because he has trouble sleeping, but because he has difficulty tearing himself away from his work. He just has to finish this one thing… or read one more paragraph. It’s never just one more paragraph with him. He usually needs to be coaxed to go rest, so it’s no surprise that he’s still awake in his lab when you quietly shuffle in after trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep for hours. Donnie will lose any and all focus that he had on his work and shift gears into helping you. He’ll shush all of your attempts to apologize for disturbing him and offer you a sleep aid. He’ll usher you to his bed and lay next to you, asking if there’s anything you need to get off your chest that may be inhibiting your ability to sleep. When you explain that you find it difficult to quiet your thoughts, he can definitely relate to that. He’ll put on some deep ambient music set at 432 Hz. He’ll explain that it’s the perfect frequency to promote relaxation, reduce tension, and support emotional wellbeing. It is what he uses to lull himself to sleep when he has a hard time reaching the coveted REM stage. The music works, and you find yourself finally slipping into rest. Donnie ends up falling asleep next to you as an added bonus. He really needed to stop working and go to bed anyway.
The End - Sleep Well Everyone
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this simple feeling / LN4 & OP81 / Part 3
Summary: Lando x female!Australian!McLaren marketing unit worker!reader x childhood best friend!Oscar - Two Formula 1 drivers who just so happen to race for McLaren also just so happen to have fallen for you. Link to part 1, link to part 2
Warnings: I think I might've messed up the timeline just alittle bit but that's okayyyy (probably should have all taken place like a week or two later but I only realized that after it was all written so I guess you'll just have to deal with it; I'm sincerely sorry), language, sickness, vertigo, let me know if there's more I missed
Requested?: To be honest, I don't think so, but let me know if I forgot about you.👍
A handsome smile adorns Lando Norris's lips as he strolls down the Spanish paddock, and it's extraordinary to believe that despite his outside cover, he has the most pounding headache.
It's all my fucking fault, his mind roars as he catches the eye of Max Verstappen walking past and gives him a friendly wave. Y/n is a nervous wreck over the whole situation, and Oscar seems like he's going to blow if he sees me show Y/n affection one more time.
Why did I ever fucking start this stupid, stupid 'relationship?' It's a mess, and it's all my fault.
And I've got no way of fixing it.
Maybe I should have just given up Y/n in the first place, before all this happened.
Maybe I am wrong for getting in the way of her and Oscar.
But a part of him knows that's not right. He could never give you up. You could never give him up. And neither of you could ever give up on Oscar.
Even though it's starting to look like that might just be the best for him. Or at least, the best option at this point.
After I've gone and messed it all up.
For once in his life, sleep won't just take Oscar Piastri.
It sounds stupid, because he shouldn't be going to sleep. Not here. Not now. But as he lay in his driver's room, all he wishes is for sleep to take him away from his never-ending thoughts into a peaceful, sweet, dreamless slumber.
But every time he tries to replace his current ones with new ones, his brain always leads him back to the main point:
You messed up.
He sighs. He's just being over dramatic, isn't he? Isn't that all it is? Shouldn't he just get over himself?
It's not that he doesn't like Lando. In fact, he does. A... well, a lot. He could see himself having real affection towards him.
He might even want to.
But that longing, confused part in his brain keeps coming back to: But what if Y/n loves him more? Isn't he just getting in the way of what you always wanted?
Isn't this unfair, Oscar?
But that's just the worst part of it all.
It's not unfair. Not one bit.
For your whole life, Oscar has known you. For years, he's cared about you. He's even loved you. He just never said it. Always held back. When he shouldn't have.
If he had just acted way before, in the beginning, it would've been just you and him. That's the way it would have been, and Lando would have never gotten in the way.
But, Oscar's brain whispers, almost like a sneaking suspicion, do you really want Lando out of this, now that he's in it?
Maybe I just have to learn to accept it. Accept him. Trust them both.
Do I just need to get over myself?
Because I am the only reason why this isn't working...
Right?
No one else can feel it, but it's getting awkward. Not even so much in private. In private, Lando is honest, and Oscar tries. In private, you see. They're not all lovey dovey, but they care about each other. It's like all is well, though you and Lando both know how Oscar can get.
But in public, it's worse. Terribly worse. It's like Lando and Oscar want to have something, but they can't. It's like Lando wants it but Oscar won't let him... and, at the same time, as if Oscar wants it but Oscar also won't let himself.
Why not?
In public, since they have to fake, it's like it's hard not to. Because they're closer than friends, but not more than that.
In private, they're trying to fake, so it almost comes easier.
But in public, they almost avoid each other at the same time as being super friendly with each other when they do have to talk.
You hate it.
A huge part of you wonders: If Oscar likes Lando back, why doesn't he just relax and let this whole thing work? Doesn't he need it?
Doesn't he need Lando, just the same way I need him?
He certainly acts like it. Sometimes. The only solution you can think of, though a not very clear or perhaps not very accurate one, and one with certainly no answer, is this:
He wants you more than anything. But he needs Lando more than anything.
But because he wants you so bad, it hurts him to see Lando having you.
Though he has you, too.
But he can't let himself break out and let himself love Lando back, because his feelings towards you are so incredibly strong.
You sigh.
Oscar. Why can't you just give up? Give in? Why can't I show you just how much I adore you?
What do I have to do to show you?
Is there anything I can do that would be enough?
You sigh. What if you're all wrong? What if Oscar really can't love Lando back? What if this whole thing is bound to fail?
What if there's absolutely no solution?
As anxiety begins to fill your chest, you feel as though you're right back at square one again.
Why didn't I just choose, from the beginning? Wouldn't it have been better to break one of their hearts, than all three of our hearts?
Because isn't that what is going on right now?
We're all breaking.
And we wouldn't be if I hadn't ever, ever let it get this fair.
Damn it.
It really is all my fault.
Maybe it's all the stress, or maybe it's just the natural way of things, but either way, by the time a week later that the Austrian Grand Prix comes around, you are in no world feeling well enough to go to it.
Of course, that's fine. You're sick; no one will have a problem with you staying home to rest up and get better. There are plenty of other people who can take care of your usual responsibilities for one race weekend. That's not really a big deal at all.
Of course, Lando and Oscar sure treated the whole thing as one, both of them talking about how one of them should stay with you, and how are you going to get on by yourself, and they feel like such bad boyfriends for leaving you in your unwell state, and so on. Blah, blah, blah.
Really, it was the sweetest thing. You know you shouldn't complain. But you did end up telling the two they were both wrong, not to worry, go race, and it's quite easy to FaceTime and stay in touch so they can check up on you over the weekend.
So despite whatever your boyfriends think about it, that's the decision you made sure was made, because there was no way you'd let either of them do something so ridiculous as to miss a race because of you.
Especially not the Austrian Grand Prix, for God's sake.
Well, whether Lando and Oscar would admit it or not, both of them, in their own little ways, see this as an opportunity for connection with each other.
One-on-one.
So now, of course, Lando has been the sole thing, other than racing, that's been on Oscar's mind all weekend. So much so that he finds himself wandering towards Lando's driver's room after qualifying, his heart leading the way more so rather than his head.
When he reaches the door, he finds it ajar, and peeks in through the door frame, his heart pounding.
Why is his heart pounding?
He swallows, his eyes resting on Lando relaxing, scrolling his phone. He hasn't seen Oscar yet.
Lando. There's a lot I like about him.
Let's just try this. Just for now, forget about Y/n. Think about Lando. Think about all the reasons why you care about him. Think about it as if it were just you and him.
Would you want it to work?
He knows the answer, but wouldn't dare let himself consciously think it.
Oscar gently knocks on the door, as to avoid startling Lando, before saying softly, "Hey, Lando?"
The British man immediately looks up, his hazel eyes meeting Oscar's plain old brown ones. Though he doesn't smile, his eyes soften. And brighten. "Hey, Oscar." He sits up a bit, as to make more room on the sofa. "Wanna come in?"
Oscar nods, stepping inside. Gently closes the door behind himself. Somehow, Lando seems to understand.
He sits down. Closer to him. Turns and looks him right in the eyes. Opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it when he realizes he has nothing to say.
Lando talks instead. "How are you?"
"Fine... and you?"
"Good... I think the race should be promising."
Oscar nods in agreement. The silence feels so simply empty.
"You missing Y/n? Is that what it is?" Lando gently asks.
Oscar considers that for a few seconds, before slowly shaking his head 'no.' "Of course, I wouldn't mind her being here. But that's not it."
"What's 'it,' then?" Lando asks.
Somehow, he just knows, doesn't he?
Oscar's starting to see why you might love that about him so much.
"It's not Y/n I'm missing. I guess I'm missing you. And me. I'm missing us."
"Hm," Lando says simply, seeming to ponder that for a few seconds, before saying softly, almost as a dare, "How could you miss 'us,' if 'us' was never a thing?"
Oscar feels the sudden urge to reach out towards Lando. Put his hand on his, or fix that loose curl, or do something.
But he holds back. Like he's always done with you.
God damn it. Am I really doing it again?
What am I even doing?
"I guess..." Oscar murmurs after some hesitation, staring down towards the tiled floor, "I miss the 'us' that could be and should be but never has been."
Oscar feels Lando look up towards him, but continues staring at the floor.
"Look at me."
But Oscar doesn't dare.
That's when Lando gently moves his hand to grab Oscar's chin and force his head to look at him. Not in an overly gentle way, but not in a way that hurts.
Oscar sighs. Those eyes.
When did he start liking them so much?
"We can make that reality," Lando murmurs, in the same determined way he talks about sports, or strategies. "We can make it happen. You don't have to miss me, or Y/n, and we can make 'us' come true."
Oscar gulps. Nods, though he knows not why.
Maybe it's because I really do want it.
I do, don't I?
Us.
Lando reaches over and grabs Oscar's hand strongly. Wraps his hand around the other man's. "This simple feeling..." Lando whispers. "Don't you like it?"
Oscar swallows. "I don't know if I like it, but..."
Lando waits for him to finish, even after he's trailed off.
"...but I think I know that it's exactly what... what I need."
Lando sighs. A little smile even begins to sneak up on his lips, just gently. Softly. Hardly there.
That's when he leans in and pulls him into a hug. And embrace. And it's refuge that Oscar finds there, in his arms. The same kind of irreplaceable refuge he finds in your arms. He sighs, wrapping his arms back around Lando, feeling the warmth of his body around him like a blanket.
"This simple feeling," Oscar murmurs this time, mirroring Lando's words, swallowing, his voice cracking softly, though tears don't threaten to fall.
It's just a little raw.
"This simple feeling... it's exactly what I want. What I need. From both of you.
"It's like I'd be content if we let this last forever," Oscar finishes softly with, close to Lando's ear.
"We can make it last forever," Lando utters back.
And all time stops in that little room as the two men embrace. A cavern of honesty and truth.
A safe place that promises to hold them forever.
It's funny how someone's cares and concerns can be washed away so quickly.
Like, for example, Oscar's podium at the Austrian Grand Prix in 2024, seeing his team grin up at him, spraying the champagne with George and Carlos, the joy of getting second place.
Partially, also, the joy of being the one to score points for the team.
But once that's all done and he's talking and doing all that PR, it starts nagging at him. You're not here, which means Lando's all alone.
Probably fucking pissed off.
P20.
So it's a mix. He got 2nd! But Lando got 20th.
So he tries to get through all the PR gobbly-gook as fast as possible, while still putting on a good face, since he knows you'll particularly care a lot if he screws up all his interviews the one race you weren't able to make it.
As soon as he's set free from his duties, though, he rushes to Lando's driver's room. On the way, someone even grabs his arm, saying, "Oscar! Oscar! An autograph? Please?" but he brushes them off, saying, "If you stay around, I'll be back to give it to you!" before just running off again.
He honestly can't grasp why he's so particularly and intensely desperate to see Lando.
It's because he did something for me last night when I needed him. Now I can't just leave him when he needs me most.
Soon, he reaches the latched closed door and knocks hard, saying, "Lando? Are you in there?"
There's a few moments of silence, and for a moment Oscar's nerves tell him that Lando isn't even here, and that he ignored that fan for no reason at all, until those thoughts are interrupted with Lando responding with a heavy sigh in his voice, "Osc? You can come in."
Oscar sighs with a certain amount of relief before gently opening the door and letting it shut behind him.
Lando is standing, not facing Oscar, on his phone, texting. Head down.
"How're you-"
"Texting Y/n."
Oscar nods, slowly walking up behind him. He gently rests a hand on Lando's shoulder, and says softer, "What's she saying?"
"Everything she has to in order to try and make me feel less like shit."
"Is it working?"
Lando turns, looking over his shoulder back at Oscar with a wry smile, saying, "Not at all. Max is a fucking-"
"Cheater, aggressive driver, idiot, bad sportsman. I know that's everything you're going to say. You just need to blow off some steam, hm?"
Lando snorts, shutting off his phone, hanging his head. "I've had an hour and a half to do that since the race."
"It takes a while," Oscar says simply, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
Lando sighs, nodding. "I know... I guess I'm not even really that mad anymore. Just disappointed. And frustrated."
Oscar nods, glancing away, beginning to slip his hand off Lando's shoulder.
But Lando reaches back, slipping his hand over Oscar's to keep it there, dragging his other hand over his face with a heavy sigh
It's then that Oscar suddenly feels compelled to do something he never thought he would.
Yet he gives in, simply because it feels like exactly the right thing to do in the moment. So he wraps both arms around Lando from behind, pulling him towards himself, letting his nose and lips press against his neck, next to Lando's ear.
Lando sighs in something like contentment.
And Oscar feels himself smiling softly, before it quickly fades off, and he whispers gently in Lando's neck, "You're a good driver. You would've won that race. But I also know that means you'll be able to win the next one, hm?"
Lando nods, sighing. "You're right. I know you're right."
Oscar nods, murmuring, "But you have every right to be upset. And I'll be with you during that working through it as long as you want me to be."
Lando feels an unexpected smile begin to creep up on his face as he mutters, "I want you here with me every single moment you want to be here, Oscar."
"Yeah? It's funny how I've started to like to be with you more."
"I guess that's just my natural charm, hm?" Lando says softly, his smile growing.
Oscar can almost not believe how he naturally chuckles at that and responds softly, "I don't know about that..."
Lando is full on grinning now. That handsome, big, sunny smile of his. "Just ask Y/n about it. She'll tell you all about my charm."
"Hah," Oscar says sarcastically, but for some reason, instead of coldness, like that comment might used to have filled his chest with, he feels an undeniable, affectionate warmth fill his body.
A feeling that he seems to like a lot more.
He just re-wraps his arms around Lando and responds softly, "I'm sure Y/n would tell you all about my charm, too, Lando."
Lando smirks, glancing back at Oscar, meeting the Australian's milk chocolate eyes. "But you don't have to ask Y/n to hear about how charming you are, Oscar. I could talk about that all night." Lando's honestly not sure where all this bravery on his part is coming from, but he's honestly glad for it. Since it seems to be going down well.
Oscar's eyebrows raise as his light complexion becomes slightly flushed. "Hm. You could?"
"Oh yeah," Lando laughs a bit. A beautiful sound. Then the two remain in that peaceful silence, before Oscar lets his hands slip away from Lando gently.
Lando turns, taking the younger man's hand in his, looking earnestly into his eyes. "Hey. Congratulations on your P2, by the way. I was so caught up in my own shit, I completely forgot about your-"
"Don't worry," Oscar says, waving it off. "I don't mind. But thank you, anyway."
Lando grins, leaning in to kiss his cheek and saying simply, "No, thank you, Oscar. Look at the way you've managed to cheer me up like that, huh?"
Oscar smiles at that, his eyes fluttering shut for just a moment, perhaps in something like peace, or trust, for him to murmur, "Not sure how that happened..."
"Guess it's just that charm of yours we previously discussed, huh?"
And Oscar's eyes flutter open just in time to see Lando peck his lips.
And with Oscar's face fire hydrant red and Lando laughs filling the small room, I'll leave it up to the reader to go and imagine what could've happened next.
Oscar and Lando get out of the car, Lando holding some flowers and Oscar a grocery bag of goodies.
"You ready?" Lando says with a little smile, nodding to Oscar.
"Can't wait to see her, despite the poor state she must be in," Oscar says with a nod, and is about to start walking, when he suddenly stops and, with only a moment of hesitation beforehand, holds his hand out to Lando to take.
Lando looks at the hand, before looking up at Oscar again, taking his hand, with a little grin. He gives him a nod, before the two head off towards the house, hand-in-hand.
You're awakened in your feverish state by the ringing of the doorbell. You know you should get up and at least look to see who it is, but at the same time, who could it be? You're not expecting anyone. So you opt for the easier decision to just assume it's something unimportant like the mailman or something and leave it, letting yourself drift back into your feverish half-sleep.
But just as you're about to fully drift back off into slumber, it rings again. You sigh and stand up with an ornery groan, dragging your shaky legs to the window, to peek out of it, to see what on earth is so important.
But you stop as soon as you see them.
Your boys.
Lando holding flowers.
And what's more, they're holding each other's hands.
And they both look completely comfortable with it.
Really? Even Oscar?
He's not that good of an actor!
Soft smiles adorn both their handsome, perfect faces, shining like a charming prince and a shining knight.
Your foggy brain doesn't take the time to consider which is the prince and which is the knight, and you instead rush to the door right away, unlocking it and exclaiming, "Lan! Osc!" You stumble a bit dizzily as your weakened legs threaten to give out, but Lando's arm is there to steady you right away, keeping you from falling.
"Hey, Y/n," Oscar says gently, putting his arm on yours as Lando plants a quick kiss on your forehead, asking, "You okay?"
You sigh, nodding, and saying after the wave of vertigo subsides, "Just still a bit sick."
"No kidding. My God. Let's get you back inside and in your bed," Lando says gently, letting you use his arm to steady yourself as the three of you head inside and to your bedroom.
Once you're there and crawling back into bed, Lando hands Oscar the flowers and says, reaching in the shopping bag, "Got you some chicken noodle soup, Y/n. Want me to make you some?"
"Oh, God," you murmur, sinking back down against the pillow, "Yes, Lando, that'd be great."
He nods and leaves, going off to do that, leaving you with Oscar.
The first thing Oscar does is say, taking the blanket from the bottom of the bed, "Want this on?"
You nod, sniffing up your stuffed up nose. He gently tucks you in, kisses your forehead right where Lando kissed it, and grabs a tissue for you, seemingly out of thin air.
If you weren't a bit feverish, maybe you would of just known he got it out of the shopping bag. But you kind of missed that detail.
"We got you flowers," Oscar says gently, sitting on the edge of the bed, next to you.
You smile softly, leaning up to smell the bouquet, saying weakly, "Aw... that's so lovely... You guys didn't have to."
He smiles softly. "We wanted to treat you. To show you how much we missed you this weekend." He brushes a strand of hair from your forehead, before frowning and murmuring, "You're really warm. Hey, I'll be right back, m'kay?"
You're not sure how long it takes, but in a bit, Oscar comes back to place a cool cloth on your forehead, and puts the flowers, now in a vase, next to you, on your nightstand.
"They're so pretty," you murmur softly, gratefulness to you warm in your voice.
Oscar smiles. "Pretty flowers for a pretty girl."
You smile softly, reaching to take his hand. "I like you like this."
"Like what?" his eyebrows raise.
"All soft. I like that."
He smiles. "Just taking care of you." He leans down and kisses your cheek, saying, "Can I get you anything? A drink? Water, tea?"
"Oh... I think I'm good. But thank you," you weakly smile.
He nods. "Are you comfortable? Do you want a fan, or another blanket, or anything?"
You shrug. "I dunno... Maybe a fan would be nice. There's a big one in the closet. Jus' put it on low."
He nods and immediately heads to do that. Once he's done, he goes straight to the windows, saying, "And the blinds? Are they good the way they are, or should I-"
"Oscar, Oscar," you say softly, giving a lazy wave of your hand. "None of that matter. Not really. I don't really care. Why don't you just stop worrying and running around and taking care of me and doing everything for just a moment and just come and be with me, huh? That's what I want for you to do the most. Just come be with me. Let's just talk, hm?"
Oscar blinks. "Oh. Of course." He nods, making his way across the room. As he settles down on the bed next to you, he says simply, "Sorry."
"Don't worry. I like it. You just need to give yourself a break, too. And I want to talk with you, Osc." You slip your hand in his.
He nods, and after a few seconds murmurs, "Maybe that's just what I want, too."
"See?" you smile softly up at him.
You sit together in silence for a bit, him gently rubbing your hand in his, before you finally think to ask, "So... How... How are things with you and Lando?"
"You noticed a change, didn't you, huh?"
"For the better. Unless I'm imagining. Or you suddenly became an amazing actor in one week."
He smiles, nodding. "Lando, he... I think we worked it out. I worked it out."
"Worked what out?"
"That I love you, and I might just love Lando, and that in order to love one, I've got to love the other."
You stare. "You... You and Lando?"
Oscar nods. "We talked. I think I can make this work now. Let this work. We can let this work."
You smile. "Hm. Really?" you look at him with fluttery eyes.
He shrugs, smiling softly. "I can't just care about myself. That's not what a relationship is about. Nor can I just care about you. Nor can I just care about Lando. It needs to be selfless, you know? We need to be there for each other."
You grin and murmur, "For some reason, Osc, I really wanna kiss you right now, but I'm sick. It's like you've just said what I've been dreaming for you to say for weeks now. Probably months."
He smiles, nodding. "I guess it was bound to happen. I just had some things to work through. And even though I don't even know how, and don't think he does, either, Lando helped me work through them, partially, too... Oh, and by the way, with the kiss thing?" he smiles, leaning down a bit closer, before murmuring, "I'm sure you won't get me sick. You're probably way past being contagious." And with that, he closes his eyes and leans in to kiss you gently.
It's then that Lando walks in and says with that cheeky smile of his, "Hey, lovebirds, can I get in on this? When's it my turn?"
You pull away from Oscar and tease, "Oh, get back in the kitchen!"
"Jeez! I guess I'll just eat your soup, then, if you're going to be like that!"
"Wait! No!" you say, reaching your arms out for the tray in his arms.
He chuckles, placing it in your lap, and says, slipping on the bed next to you, on the opposite as Oscar, "Did you really think I would eat your food?"
"You might..."
He grins. "I might."
"Hey!" you giggle, rolling your eyes.
Lando lays down next to you as Oscar says, "My goodness, Y/n, you're so peppy as soon as Lando enters the room. You were acting so sick before, just a few minutes ago!"
You grin, looking him over with a shrug, "I guess I liked the way you were treating me so softly and delicately. I didn't want you to stop feeling like you had to take care of me. Now, come on. You lay down next to me, too, won't you?"
Oscar smiles and does so, murmuring, "I guess I can't say no, huh?"
You smile, contented, shutting your eyes as you feel the warmth from both of them, on each of your sides, envelop you. "I guess not."
As you eat your soup, your boys snuggle up to you, their arms wrapping around you, and the three of you talk. Mostly about Austria, and then about he upcoming British Grand Prix in less than a week now, which you're sure you'll be healed up enough for, especially since getting there doesn't require any planes or airports. Sometimes, that can be the worst part of travelling to Grand Prixs far away.
Soon, though, you finish your soup, and sink back down into the pillows, letting the tiredness seize your body once more. As you begin to drift off, the last thing you whisper is, "I love you guys..."
On each side, you feel each of their lips gently kiss your cheeks, but you don't stay awake long enough to hear how they respond to that.
Here you are, with your two McLaren boys.
Sure, there'll be rough spots. Lots of them. Something like this doesn't promise to be easy.
But sometimes, the harder path is the better one in the end.
And right now, in this simple moment, it feels perfectly worth it.
Well, maybe perfectly imperfect.
But would you really want it any other way?
This simple feeling...
#sports-on-sundays#landoscar#lando norris#oscar piastri#mctwinks#mclaren formula 1#mclaren racing#mclaren#mclaren f1#lando imagines#lando imagine#lando x reader#lando#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x reader#osc#lando fanfic#lando x you#lando x y/n#ln4#op81#lando x oscar
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The forgotten girl (13)
Relief washed over me once I got home. As hard as it was to tell Alexia what truly happened, it also felt good. I knew I had to tell Leah, Keira and Lucy. Keira would be easy enough, I would write it all down and give it to her. Lucy would be mad as hell, not at me but at them. Leah would cry or just shut down.
After having a quick shower and doing the rest of my nighttime routine, I decided now would be the best time to call Leah. I was on a roll.
She answered on the first ring, “Milly? Are you ok?”
“Yeah lee, I’m okay I just want to talk to you about something. Something that happened that night. If you can’t talk now that’s okay, but I want to be honest with you.”
“Yeah no of course. Go ahead, I’m listening.”
I spilled it all. I tired not to go into too much detail about it because i didn’t want to scar her too badly. By the end of it, we were both crying. Neither of us said anything for a while, just processing the information.
“I, ah, I haven’t told Keira, or Lucy.”
“Thank you for telling me. Have you told anyone else?”
“Alexia.”
“Oh?”
“That’s the next time I wanted to talk about.”
“Go on….”
“We are going on a date tomorrow. Just a coffee date before training.”
“Right…” I knew she wanted to say more.
Sighing loudly, “Say it Leah.”
“Don’t let her rush you into this. Do this on your timeline Amelia. I know you’ve been in love with her for ages but you need to not rush it.”
“Leah I know. She knows. We agreed to take things slow, things will move on my timeline, not hers.”
“Okay. Does Keira know?”
“No. I haven’t told anyone but you. Just keep it quiet ok?”
“Yea yea. Okay. Listen I gotta go. I love you, tell me how it goes yeah?”
“Night lee. Love you too.”
One down, two to go.
Finally sleep was welcomed by me, the warm fuzziness of my bedding lulled me right to sleep. It was a dreamless sleep, but when I woke up I was extremely well rested. It was such a good sleep that from the minute I got out of bed, I kept thinking how good it would be to go back to bed tonight.
Alexis and I agreed to the cafe around the corner from my apartment, 2 hours before training. I know she thought that was an insanely long amount of time, but I knew she liked being there an hour early and since she was my ride, I wouldn’t make her change her routine.
As I arrived at the cafe, I took the booth at the very back. We’d have some privacy without people stopping for photos or to talk to us. I sat nervously picking at my fingers, so far in my own head that I didn’t hear the bell above the door or even notice her until she was standing above me.
“Oh shit, hi!” A smiled, getting up to hug her.
“Are you ok?” Concern riddled her voice, her eyebrows furrowed.
“Yeah no I’m, um, I’m nervous?”
“I’m nervous too Mil. Really really nervous.”
The first fifteen minutes were awkward but after that, it felt like old times. Conversation flowed, we laughed, she held my hand. There was no reason to be nervous, after all it was just Lex.
“We should go.” I said after she finished her story about Alba. Confusion was evident on her face, “you like to be at training an hour early so we should go now so you can.”
“It’s ok. I’m ok to be late you know.”
“I know Lex. But I also know you like your routines and you strive on them so vamos!”
The walk to her car was silent, she was stewing over something. The drive to the facility was much the same, the radio faintly playing. Occasionally when I looked over, I noticed her gripping the wheel very hard. As soon as we pulled up to the facility, she looked like she was about to bolt.
“Alexia. Stop.” I grabbed her arm to prevent her from leaving the car. “What’s going on in that head of yours? Talk to me, please.”
“I don’t want you to think that I’m boring.”
“What?”
“My routines. I have them yes, I enjoy them. But I don’t want you to think that I prefer my routines over you. Because I don’t. I would get rid of all of them if you asked me too.”
“Oh ale.” I cupped her face to make her look at me, “I love all of you. I love your routines, because they make you calm, they help you be the best. The best person, the best player and the best captain. I love all your little quirks and your insecurities. I love them all because I love you. So no, I don’t want you to get rid of your routines, and I don’t think you’re boring. Hell I’d follow you around like a puppy if you wanted.”
She chuckled, “I would follow you too.”
With that settled we made our way inside, her hand in mine with my thumb rubbing her hand. I sat down and watched Lex get herself ready. I always admired it, the way she had everything perfectly done, she was in control. With some encouragement from me that I was fine alone in the change rooms, she kissed my forehead and left to continue her routine.
Slowly the girls started pouring in and I started getting ready. Keira, Lucy and Ona were the last ones in.
“Her car isn’t in the car park and she didn’t text me. Maybe she said something to Ale?” Keira was always a worrier. She hid it well from the outside world but not from her teammates or friends.
“Relax Kei, maybe she’s just running late.” Lucy was usually the more calm one of the pair.
“Who is running late?” I piped up from behind them.
“Amel-“ Keira started, “how did you get here? Your car isn’t here? You didn’t text me?” She engulfed me in a hug, as if I’d been missing for 3 years.
“ relax Kei. Ale drove me here. We had coffee this morning.” Unbeknownst to me, Mapi, Keira and Lucy all shared a look.
Keira, Lucy and I all walked towards the gym together. “Do you think we can get dinner tomorrow? Take out at mine?” looking weirdly at me but agreeing nonetheless.
Training went by in a blur. We had a game coming up this weekend against Athletico Madrid. I took my time after training, knowing that Lex had her own routine and I was happy to just scroll through my phone.
“Amelia, you need a lift?”
“No-“
“I’m taking her, thanks Marta.” Alexia interrupted, giving Marta a smile before she left.
“I’m sorry for taking so long Mil. I will-“
“You will do nothing expect keep your routine going. I don’t care how long I have to wait. If I did I would’ve left with Keira or Marta.” I stood up and cupped her face, “I promise, you keep doing you.”
I kissed her gently, which turned into a fight for dominance. We stopped before it got too heated, on account of being in the locker room and taking it slow. I sat back down and continued to scroll through my phone, trying to show Alexia that I didn’t care how long she took, it didn’t work.
After 10 minutes of her “not rushing”, she grabbed both our bags and flung them over her shoulder, then grabbed my hand and walked us to the car. The car ride was spent talking about nonsense, things that really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of life but it was nice. As we pulled up to my apartment she started fiddling with her whoop, I took the chance to speak up.
“Yes I will go on another date with you. Does Sunday lunch after our game work? I know you have family dinner on Sunday night.”
“We can do dinner on Sunday if that’s what your would prefer? It’s okay-“
“Stop. If lunch works for you, then it works for me. You’re going to dinner with your family Ale.” I smiled at her and she nodded her head.“Lunch it is then, I know a place so I’ll text you the address on Sunday. Thank you for driving me home and for coffee. Goodnight Ale.” I kissed her cheek, grabbed my bag and got out. Not bothering to turn back because if I did, I would’ve invited her upstairs, but we are taking things slow.
Almost painfully slow.
#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso x reader#alexia x reader#woso community#keira walsh x lucy bronze#fcb femení#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas fanfic#alexia putellas x reader#keira walsh x reader#lucy bronze x reader
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warning: kinda sad ANGST, Simon losses you :( , ooc kinda?? But he's soft for you only, trust me bro
This was kinda inspired by that one part in the comics where our poor, Si holds his mums skull, n he jus'... Kinda nuzzles into it. I dunno it just bought on some sad feeling, mkay...
Simon who slightly raises the cup of tea he's drinking each time he has one, just to let you know he's relaxing. Or trying his best too, at least. Doesn't know what he'll do if he worried you from beyond the grave. Sometimes he looks at all the belongings you left behind. Saying how they probably miss you, but not nearly as much as he does.
Unlike some, Simon uses your things. He doesn't want the house to go through the pain of loosing you too. So he drinks from your mug, and sits on your chair. Reads your favorite books, but never takes out the book marks in case you want to continue reading them. He also completes your bucket list for you, and even though he's the one doing them he always whispers 'good job, to the wind, hoping they'll carry the messenge to you.
Simon who speaks to your framed pictures. He remembers each, and every memory behind them. "Bet your happy... Now it'll always be my turn to grab the 'bloody groceries.." he jests. He hopes that one made you laugh. Knowing you, you would've. It's a mystery how you always laughed at his lame jokes. Though your laugh's always been better than the awful punchlines.
Simon who passes by that cafe you bugged him to go with you to, and he feels his throat go dry. He never got to take you there because of a sudden call from Price, telling him about an urgent, albeit sudden, mission. He definitely regrets not taking you out on dates more often. There's so many shops opening that he knows you would've loved to see.
Simon who's heart breaks at how quickly the world turns without you. Everything's moving so quickly, leaving him behind like it's already moved on, and he hates it. He hates how there's less clothes to fold now. Food is served, but only for one. The taste of it is flavorless, and dry. It's times like these, that he wishes he should have took the time and learn your recipes.
But what's worse, is that your side of the bed is cold. And it'll remain that way forever. At times he'll reach for you absentmindedly. Nightmares about war traded for dreams about you, but during those dreamless nights where sleep doesn't visit he'll stroke your pillow the same way he'd do to keep your hair out of your face, and pull the covers over the empty space you once occupied. He wonders if it's cold where you are right now. But just know that he's always willing to warm you up if ever you come back.
Simon who...
Stands at the doorway. Bag slinged over his shoulder, full of everything he needs and more for deployment. He knows he can't leave without properly saying goodbye, so he fishes out his wallet, and digs out a picture of you. He holds it up to his face, and it's funny. How you're not even staring at the camera when the photo was taken. No, you were staring at him. This one's always been his favorite. So he clears his throat, and wishes you don't hear the slight shake in his tone.
"..By now you would've told me to be careful.. And I will, by the way. But, m' sorry for all the times I didn't...'
....
" I have to go now. Don't need them gettin' on my ass for 'being late.. so.."
....
"..You just rest now, ok, love? There's nothing else for you to worry about' anymore. I love you, always. Wish me, and the boys luck, yeah?.."
He gives a light kiss to your photo, and it's as if you're with him when he steps outside the door..
a/n: This was a challenge to write, and I don't know what to feel about the results. I'm just polishing my english, I guess. M'not good at writing angst, you can probably tell, also my grammar feels off on this one, again. English isn't my first language, sorry. So please correct me on any mistakes I've made! But putting all that aside, I hope you like this more than I do! And, always remember that you are loved, and cared for! Have an amazing day, my darlings!
Yours, truly,
–dolly
#cod x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#cod imagine#cod x reader angst#ghost x reader angst#Ouchy my feelings#call of duty x reader#x gn reader#x female reader#x male reader
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Charmed AU because why not
* * *
The ringing in his head had Buck pausing midway through shift. Normally, he could ignore this, he was a Whitelighter who chose to be in a job that meant saving Innocents, these ringings happened all the time.
What he couldn't ignore was how loud it was.
He also couldn't ignore how pained it was.
Buck catches Bobby's eyes from accross the station, and he taps the side of his head, a signal that they developed so Buck could go and take care of his other job.
When he Orbs, he find's that he's not far from the station, still in LA in a part of town that is under consrtuction. There's an old house that's planned to be tourn down soon, and when Buck follows the chime, he finds himself in it's deteriorating walls.
He's not alone.
There's a man, his large figure pressed up against the furthest corner of the room, his knees are drawn up to his chest and his head is bent down, stopping Buck from seeing their face, and his hands are pressed tightly against his ears.
The man is whispering something, his voice pleading - begging almost, for something to stop.
Slowly, Buck approaches and when his foot hits a floorboard that creeks, the man's head snaps up, and Buck is met with frightened blue eyes.
"Go away-" The man says, voice ragged and Buck can feel now, the magic that the man is emitting. Wild and uncontrolled.
He's a witch.
A witch with an active power.
Empath.
In the few years that Buck has been a Whitelighter, he has never come into contact with an Empath before. He's heard the stories, that many witche's struggle with this power, some even binding tehir magic all together to not have to feel everyone around them. The witches that do embrace their ability though, can become formidable.
"I'm here to help-" Buck says gently, and he steps forward. He keeps his mind as neutral as possible, and the man watches him warily.
He doesn't move though, so Buck keeps going.
"It won't stop." The man says, body trembling. "It started and it just-" He tugs at his hair hiding his face again. "I can feel everyone."
"They're tearing down this house soon," Buck tells the man. "I saw the crew outside. They're going to detonate the place, we need to leave-"
"I know." The man says and Buck stops, the realization of what the man was trying to do hitting him fully.
He won't let it happen.
"I'm sorry," Buck says and he waves his hand over the man, putting him into a dreamless sleep. His body slumps forward and Buck goes to kneel by him.
Buck Orbs them away.
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Pieces Part 2
Pairing: Azriel x Reader.
Summary: You finally confront Azriel about your feelings which ends in huge argument.
A/N: thank you to everyone who read and loved Pieces. I tried my best to make Azriel up to your expectations. I hope you all like this!
Pieces Masterlist
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I stopped making efforts with Azriel.
I stopped talking to him. Stopped waking up with him to wish him goodbye at the door. Stopped asking him about his day at dinner. Even stopped waiting for him to eat. I make our lunch, eat and get out of the house. Walking until I'm sure he's gone again. Come home make dinner, eat and sleep without waiting for him.
I accepted the fact that he doesn't want me anymore.
He still kisses me goodbye though.
So I guess there is still hope but I don't want it.
I open my eyes and glance to Azriel's empty bedside. I rub my eyes, already feeling tired even though I just started my day. I havn't been getting good enough sleep lately, staying up almost every night, rethinking everything over and over again. And when I do get sleep, it's always dreamless. I always feel like I fell alseep just a minute ago. I sit up on my bed to find a note on the bedside.
Dinner at Rhys tonight.
Four plain words in Azriel's handwriting. He didn't even sign it with his name. I sigh and get up from bed. I don't want to face anyone right now. I'm too tired to put on an act of being happy. Well at least I won't have to make food.
My throat feels scratchy. I warm up a little water to relieve the soreness but it doesnt make any difference. I suddenly sneeze, covering my face and freeze after realization finally hits me. I'm sick. I groan.
Can this day get any worse?
-☆-
When we arrived at the river house, I conversed with everyone for a while, catching up on everything after not seeing any of them for so long.
Feyre complemented my dress and commented on how my face looks different. I laughed a little saying that's because she hadn't seen me in so long, hoping my smile and lie seemed real enough for her to not get suspicious.
When I sneezed and coughed again, she figured I was sick and scolded me a little for coming, saying I should've stayed home and rested. I shrugged at that.
When we sat down on the table, Azriel whispered to me,"Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?" To which I had kept looking away and answered,"You didn't ask." He didn't say anything else to me and neither did I to him. In fact I didn't talk to anyone much and only spoke when asked to do so the whole time.
"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" Azriel questioned when we walk into our house. I hang my coat on the coat stand and remove my shoes, taking my time answering him and finally say,"As I said before, you didn't ask."
"How was I supposed to know? And you didn't even spend much time with me. You went straight to Feyre, the second we entered and didn't talk to me at all the whole night." I could hear irritation in his voice which made me clench my jaw.
I took a deep breath,"I didn't realise you missed me so much considering you were glued to Elain all night." I spit out without looking at him and walk to our bedroom.
"What do you mean by that?" He follows me.
"Nothing." I sigh not wanting to have this argument right now but, of course, he doesn't care about that.
"No, tell me." He frowned.
"You talked to Elian all night so I thought, maybe I shouldn't disturb whatever conversation you must have going on." My lips thin as I look up at him.
"I had no choice but to talk to her because you didn't talk to me and and we were the only two people left alone." He said.
"Alright. But that was tonight. What about that other days and nights you spend with her? You like her. I get it. You don't need to explain yourself." My eyes fill with unwanted tears and I look away from him. I try to get away from him but he grabs my arm to keep me there.
"Yes, I like talking to her, but I would prefer to talk to you more." He says softly. I scoff.
"Don't lie az. Do us both a favor and accept it that you like her company better. I have." I snatch my arm back and try to walk away. He still follows me.
"No. I admit I like her company but no more than yours. You are more important." He stops in front of me.
"I don't believe that." A tear falls down my face. His eyes look into mine with confusion. "I watch you with her. How happy and content you look in her presence. Everyday you come home, speak barely two words to me and go back to her again." I fold my arms on my chest and look down. "You spend the time with her that youre suppose to spend with me. You tell her the things you should tell me. Your like her. More than me."
"That's not true. My love, I like you a lot more than her. You are the most important to me." His hand wips my tears and rests on my cheek. I rip it off me. "I don't believe you." I look at him with anger.
"You tell me Azriel, when was the last time you commented on my cooking? The last time you told how I looked? When was the last time you asked me how I was doing? When was the last time you held me? The last time you truly listened to me?" His expression falls in realisation, as my questions grow. "When was the last time you told you loved me and fucking meant it?!" I breath heavy, looking at his face tilted down, eyes cast down.
"I-," He clears his throat. "I did always meant when I said I loved you."
I turn to the other side. I can't look at him. I cover my eyes and try to focus on settling down my breathing. "I think you should leave." I whisper and turn to him again.
His head snaps to mine. "No! No. No. No. Don't push me away. Please." His voice cracks and a tear falls down his eyes. "Please give me a chance to fix this. Please don't push me away." His hands on either side of me and puts his forehead against mine, eyes looking into mine filled with tears and anguish.
"You pushed me away first." I whisper, gently taking his hands off of me and his face crumbles as more tears fall down. I cry with him.
"I just need time." I watch him nod silently, wiping his face clear with his hands while stepping away from me.
"Okay. I'll be in the house of wind. Please come to me when you're ready. I want to fix this. I don't want to let you go." I nod silently, not trusting my words.
I watch him nod again and go out of the door, leaving me alone in the house we bought together. Leaving me alone for my thoughts and memories to haunt me in the dead of the night. I'll be alright though. I'll take my time to think everything through. I'll heal myself then think about giving azriel a chance to heal us.
I just need time.
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Tags: @cleverzonkwombatsludge @crazylokonugget
#acotar fandom#acotar fanfiction#acotar#azriel angst#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel#azriel x femalereader#pieces
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