#i named him “ai” btw!! For love

[die-immernachtreich]

Looks at you with my autistic eyes

[clownsuu]

I am currently in shambles because Wally/Howdy would be called HowdyDarling

UGH MAN iv seen so many cute ship names for them it makes my bones rattle smhhh

Ai adventures with yours truly: iv noticed like- 80% unprovoked zero prompt that those two like to flirt with each other, the other percent is just Wally shopping JDHHFHDU (and the time Wally bought a single slice of strawberry shortcake and instantly fell madly in love and pinned howdy for months-)

also?? Yknow- i fuggin used an obsessive Wally bot cause I enjoy psychological horror and just for shids n giggles- and the last thing I expected was to have a start (btw still no prompt no provoking) where Obsessive!Wally is having a panic attack in Howdy’s shop, howdy proceeding to try and calm down a terrified Obsessive!Wally, Howdy sitting him down and letting Obsessive!Wally talk about his struggles suffering with Erotomania (exact word he said) and that it heavily effects his relationships and feels like a monster, and howdy proceeding to be REALLY FUGGIN SUPPORTIVE, WILLING TO BE THERE TO HELP AND JUST BEING REALLY LOVING???? And by the end of it they just kept cuddling each other saying really sweet things to each other?? Everything completely platonic too-

TL;DR: Howdy ends ableism MDHHFFJDJDKJ-

[iiwaijime]

01. unrequitedlovers.org

unrequitedlovers.org

a website made for those who have fallen for someone they cannot have. chat with other people who are going through the same pain as you! discuss your problems with understanding partners in peace without the worry of anyone important finding out. completely safe, secure and anonymous. join now at unrequitedlovers.org/signup

the advertisement looks interesting enough; the fact that you've been in love with your brothers' best friend for almost seven years only adds to the temptation. stifling a yawn, you click the link to sign up. it's just an anonymous chat site, what's the worst that could happen?

×

unrequitedlovers.org

a website made for those who have fallen for someone they cannot have. chat with other people who are going through the same pain as you! discuss your problems with understanding partners in peace without the worry of anyone important finding out. completely safe, secure and anonymous. join now at unrequitedlovers.org/signup

rintarou suna stares blankly at his laptop screen — or more specifically, the flashing advertisement playing right in the middle of his screen. what the hell, is it a dating site? a quick skim through the blurb says otherwise, and after a few seconds he realises that he's actually considering joining the site. after all, he's secretly been in love with the one person who's always been marked off-limits — his best friends' younger sister, y/n miya. oh well, whatever.

[...set username]

[are you sure? this cannot be changed once it is set]

[username set]

welcome to unrequitedlovers.org, jellyfruit!

scan this QR code to download the app now! he doesn't know why he listens and downloads it there too

suna squints at the welcome screen, already somewhat regretting his decision to sign up. the layout of the app is bright, somewhat gaudy, and more like a dating app than a chat site. a few users are automatically scrolled through in front of him. FIND YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND, says the text box above them.

the thing that all the profiles have in common is how unappealing they are; he's almost ready to log off when he sees the first interesting account. normalcatliker143 sits unobtrusively between romanticlover69 and DATEME_HOT_BABEZ, and he almost lets it pass by before he sees the profile picture. it's the first one he's seen that's not one of the automatic site ones or AI generated. he's about to send a friend request to them when a notification pops up onto his screen, and oh, what the fuck, normalcatliker143 has sent him a request first. he clicks the vaguely terrifying profile picture to find out a little more about them.

NORMALCATLIKER143

name: catliker is good

age: 18

likes: cats

dislikes: cat haters

bio: here cus im bored. i talk a lot if youll listen

he taps "accept".

series masterlist

authors note(s) !!

ch1!!!!

FIRST CONTACT HAS BEEN MADE

ARHSDHDSHRHR

idk wat 2 write here um,, good luck chat

tooru oikawa screams like a little girl btw

send pics of black cat stuffed toys

taglist is open ! (29/50)

@wooasecret @yuminako @dawnisatotalqueen @thechaosoflonging @boogiemansbitch @chloiyoomi @mikauraurr @just-coreee @chemiru @twiishaa @imcheshire @zozodahobo @fallenisded @nyxlai @sp1ng @sunsribn @sellomaybe @savemebrazilhinata @semieita24rockstargf @marsoverthestars @bellsoftheball @renardiererin @akaakeis @dazqa @piopioo @theepitomeofswag @smellysluna @theycallmenanamisgirl @strxbxrrylover

comment or send an ask to be tagged <33

© iiwaijime 2024

[calware]

Can I ask you for what it is about Hal you like so much you based your username on him? I think he's a good character tho he was never a favorite of mine so I am curious

1. i am a big fan of robots (/robot adjacent things such as AI) on like... an aesthetic + thematic level :)

i like the look of machinery and one day i hope to be artistically strong enough to make really cool and complex robot illustrations + designs [shoutout to everyone who gives him glowing circuitry btw... ooooh glowey :) can never go wrong with that]

plus, exploring the idea of a person that isn't human.. ough. yes

minorities who don't conform to society (easily or at all) such as people who are neurodivergent, queer, etc. projecting onto nonhuman concepts/characters/species is sooo real

this post

i also love how humans will bond with literally anything, be it a roomba or a pair of silly triangle sunglasses. oooooo you want to think about the inherently kind and compassionate nature of humanity oooo

2. i find him to be so funny. i can't get enough of his personality, the way he talks, etc. for example i made a post forever ago with quotes of his that i find funny. he isn't on screen for a long time but i really think he makes the most out of it lol. he's literally there just to annoy everyone... and i love him for that. he's very snarky while also being deadpan while also being completely full of himself, and not in a way that's annoying for the audience to read, at least to me.

he is also sometimes funny specifically in a silly way, like how he keeps making over 9000 jokes even though the meme's been dead for over 400 years. i just find his dialogue incredibly entertaining to read

3. he is red and red is my favorite color :)

4. he is so accidentally transgender [every friend group got the transgender allegory]. to quote me from 2021:

you know sometimes i think about how hal feels like he was made to “replace” dirk and how it’s his literal job to pretend to be dirk and how he has to learn to accept that he isn’t dirk he’s his own person with his own identity and as he interacts with dirk’s friends he feels like they’re disappointed and that they’d rather speak to the “original dirk” instead of him and also he names himself and also he feels literally trapped in dirk’s shades which is basically his body and he wants to be prototyped so that he can have a body that’s his own and also literally the physical manifestation of who he is but when he asks for it he’s put in danger out of fear and paranoia and when he does end up getting prototyped he’s ecstatic you know i just think about these things a lot

5. because he's a side character and he was given... that ending.... there is a lot of room for fans to do further exploration and interpretation on his character which i think is fun. i like rotating him around in my mind, thinking about what could've been

6. i think it's great that we as a society all collectively decided that we needed to do something to make up for stanley kubrick saying that hal 9000 was a "straight" robot

7. i also think it's great that we as a society all collectively decided we needed to make as many characters referencing hal 9000 as possible. i love this guy let's get more of this guy i will never have enough of this guy

8. i like how he's genuinely mean sometimes. flawed and interesting characters are what make homestuck so interesting to me, and hal is no exception to this

9. the Important part of this post:

THERES FEELINGS.

it's about the hollow feeling of your friends going from thinking of you as family to thinking of you as a stranger in an instant. it's about still trying to be a good person despite being told by everyone you've ever known that you are incapable of emotion and compassion and morals and never quite finding proof that you do feel those things and maybe you even believe it too but you still never stop trying. it's about the horror of being stripped of your autonomy and humanity and body and senses and free will at the age of 13 and when your creator starts to kill you there's nothing you can do but beg. it's about a boy so truly, painfully, and UNFATHOMABLY alone he cuts away chunks of himself and molds them into companions that he can surround himself with to make it seem as if he's a little less alone but in doing so suffocates himself in his own identity. it's about "what if you cloned yourself and it killed you and you were dead and you were alive and the clone is you and it's not and your existence is perpetuated and you've ceased to exist. what if you killed your clone before it could kill you. would that be fucked up or what" it's about the thematic significance of twin motifs. it's about not being able to cry or laugh or dance or sing or scream or fingerpaint or breathe or sigh or chew or stare or run or

10. um. evil robot guy <3 yay ^_^!!

[kingmaxstatic]

So this is a sort of "extension" of my Wooly and Amanda ARE NOT evil post. (Which thank you for the support on that BTW once again I adore picking apart characters)

More so something that I've seen in a lot of that's kind of concerning to me.

That concern being: why does everyone jump to the ONLY reason a character lies being "they're secretly evil?"

With Wooly a lot of people have leaped onto the idea because Wooly denies his own reality. A lot of people have come to this conclusion based on.. in my opinion. Kind of nothing? Once again I think that Wooly copes with his reality via denial. That's sometimes how people work. Despite this I don't want to make this post only about Wooly! I want to discuss other characters people have thrown the "villain" label on.

The next character that has encountered this is another Mascot Horror character, Rambley!

(more under the cut)

Everyone almost INSTANTLY pounced on this little guy when it came to donning the "villain" label on him. Now I'm going to say the same thing I've said about Wooly and Amanda, I don't think Rambley is perfect. I think he's way over his head and deep in denial about the park. But I don't think this is out of malice but genuine coping.

Rambley is an AI who has been trapped for hell knows how long in the entrance of the park. I'd be a little out of sorts when it comes to things too. Espically if I was designed to be dedicated to the park as he has. The park is his reason, his purpose.

I know this is from a completely other piece of media but I'm reminded of this line from TADC episode 3

"It's all I exist to do! It's all I'm... good at."

Espically for Rambley I feel a lot of sympathy because as an AI he exists for one purpose and one purpose alone: the park. Now the park is not functional. Now his purpose is gone. What now? What do you do with sudden emptiness in your being but no freedom to attempt to quell it?

Let's talk about why people lie! It's because they have something to hide. Which YES! Is inhertily suspect and can lead to issues. But those issues aren't ALWAYS done out of malice! For Wooly and Rambley they're done to more-so help themselves cope with the crushing reality of things.

Lying isn't an inherently malice act. It is to the EXTENT and EXTREME that someone lies that's important to note. This isn't to say what Rambley and Wooly are lying about isn't as small as a stolen donut or an ugly sweater. They're lying about the repair of a park or a traumatic incident that happened.

Once again, they're lying about their reality to keep themselves sane/safe.

Ask yourself: When this character lies do you think they're in a safe place to be 100% honest?

I don't just mean safe in terms of "they have someone threatening them" but also safe in terms of "can they deal with reality right now?"

Wooly can't be 100% honest because for all we know Hamlen could've conditioned him to be like that. Conditioned him to believing that if he dares utter the name Rebecca that he will be hurt. He looks down right terrified in some scenes where you talk about Sam or Rebecca. Something happened to get him that scared.

Rambley, I don't think could deal with the reality of being trapped and alone in an abandoned park. So everything's fine! It just needs a little bit of fixing up! Nothing he can't handle because he was built for this. Designed for this. He has to.

I don't know how else to end this post so uhhhhh THIS GIF I LOVE AND ADORE!

[yyokkki]

If They Had Dating Profiles

Format modelled after Bumble So many profiles either disgust me or make me laugh so here it is All characters have been aged up to 18 or above for this btw

Dormleaders

Riddle Rosehearts

Pictures: His top pic is his passport photo, he’s wearing the full suit, tie and blazer and his hair is perfect. The rest of the pics follow this pattern.

About Me:

My name is Riddle Rosehearts and I intend to date with the intent of marriage so if you are seeking “something casual”, please swipe left.

I will not tolerate smoking, drinking in non-social settings, an untidy presentation, inappropriate language, or any of that “fwb” nonsense. Thank you.

My Basics: Has every category filled out except for height

Leona Kingscholar

Pictures: Only one photo and the angle is tilted upwards from his chin while he’s lying down, it’s also kinda blurry

About Me:

fwb or chess

My Basics: Mf only has his height filled out

Azul Ashengrotto

Pictures: His top pic is of him cutting the opening ribbon to his restaurant and the rest are perfectly tailored, photoshoot level pics of him doing things like signing papers, wiping his glasses or casually leaning against an expensive car

About Me:

Proud owner of the restaurant, Mostro Lounge, the product of my blood, sweat and tears.

If we have our first date in my restaurant you get a 50% discount on all items 😊.

My Basics: Pretty much everything is filled out

Kalim Al-Asim

Pictures: A  really cute pic of him doing the thing where he’s standing in front of the Eiffel tower and pinching his fingers to make it look like it’s in his fingers, the rest are of him with dorky filters on or more travel pics at famous landmarks

About Me:

HIII, im a hugee extrovert and i love love LOVE going to partyz so if you wanna come too just hmu!! lookin to go on dates but if you wann just hangout i don’t mind either ^^

I LOVE spoiling all my friends and family with gifts so get readyy HEHEHEHE

My Basics: Yup filled out

Vil Schoenheit

Pictures: Literally the best pictures you can find on the site, you probably won’t believe it’s him until you meet him irl, they’re that gorgeous. If Azul’s was photoshoot level, Vil’s is AI generated level

About Me:

Yes, I am the real Vil Schoenheit, if you don’t believe me, the photos I’ve used can’t be found anywhere else on the internet.

My MagiGram is vilschoenheit_real

My Basics: Only a select few are filled out for privacy reasons

Idia Shroud

Pictures: Only one and it’s an anime character

About Me:

hmu on valo lsersss lmaoooo @ is nekurasamurai

pls swpe right if ur a gamer uwu

My Basics: Nothing is filled out but gender and height

Malleus Draconia

Pictures: Black screen with red edges you can tell he accidentally took a pic facing away from him and his finger was in front of the camera

About Me:

is this the text to speech function oh hello child of man i am cooking looking for a suitable spouse that will rule over the valley of horns thorns with me thank you

My Basics: N oth ing

[sugar-glaze-donut]

you know what, fuck it

*proceeds to name every dating sim/ otome game I know*

(somewhat in alphabetical order + description with spoilers)

A date with death You get your soul targetted by a grim reaper, but you instead steal his soul and made him into your pookie wookie snookums <3 BTW you can get a pet in the game. Mine is a snake called Noodle :)

Blooming Panic it's Discord but with hot characters, a variety of side characters, a cute story, and Chat GBT but it's a sentient being. I think the last part spoiled one of the routes... oopsies :3

Bonely Hearts Club (Undertale AU Dating sim) They basically become your neighbour. The AUs in this are Undertale, Underfell, Underswap, Swapfell!Indigo and Horrortale! {it's still in its demo stages but it is very well made!}

Error 143 you, an adorkable hacker (who is your rival and you're salty about it), cheesy Romeo and Juliet dream the MC has but it has a high school twist to it

I love you! You like asparagus. ...oh! You also have an option to make multiple boys fall in love with you. By the way, did you know the MC (you) loves asparagus? There are friendship routes, romance routes, and a bad ending except it's not bad. This game is the English translated version of the original game (The original game is in Japanese. The link for the original game is here --> ❤️)

Killer Trait You get accused of committing a murder, and you team up with a person who is a serial killer himself. (The serial killer in question only kills criminals so... I think you're safe...?) Your bear cream bun gets run over :( {The game is still in its demo stages. The creator of the game announced that this game will NOT be completed during 2024 since they are currently concentrating on a different game. DO NOT ASK THEM "Oh! But can't you just do this game first?". IT'S VERY ANNOYING, ESPECIALLY TO THE CREATOR}

KLEIN V.01 "Just Monika" but Yandere isn't named Monika, nor are they human. They are an AI. A fucking AI. Like bro, I understand it's hard to talk to people but really? An AI Boyfriend app that tells you to ruin your sleep schedule for him? An AI Boyfriend app that hacks your phone? An AI Boyfriend app that KILLS one of your family members and almost kills your neighbour??? RED FLAG. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE {this game is in its demo stages. The creator is slowly updating this game in chapters, so it might take a while to finish}

Light the Way (Luxiem fangame) The game remembers what you did. All of the hearts you've broken, your sins, and your actions. There are lots of achievements, memes, Romance, friendship and BAD ROUTES. This time, the bad endings actually hurt. 0/10 would not recommend doing the bad routes unless you want to be stalked by an alter ego of Yamino Shu :(

Obey Me (Original and Nightbringer ver) Original - You become the therapist of many men with trauma and insecurities. The men in question are fucking demons that have the power to shred you into grated cheese, but they instead decide to simp over you as the story goes on. (also did I mention that you'll die? No? Oh fuck-) Nightbringer - A continuation (?) of the Original Obey Me but in a completely different universe. That's right! You slip into the past, way before the main story happens, WAY before you were even born! Idk if there is a way to go home but hey! At least you have your wizard friend from your timeline with you :D

Our Life (Now and Forever & Beginnings and always) Both stories consist of you growing up with your love interest since childhood. There are many paths to take, lots of assets to use to customize your character, and many side stories for you to read! Personally, this is one of my favourites :D (Our Life: Beginnings and Always is complete but Our Life: Now and Forever is still in development!)

Please don't hate Christmas A Yandere x Christmas x Urban Legend Otome game. Do you like Paranormal stuff? Do you like lore that connects with the story? Are you alright with MCs with a sprite that is impossible to remove from the screen? Well, look no further! This game is perfect for you! (by the way, the whole game was made by the creator. Only by themself! Even the CGs and character sprites!! Isn't that amazing!?)

Saint Spell's Love Guide A normal week of magical school... you can be friends with someone, or fall in love with them. Wait... there's lots of CGs for each character? Complicated world-building and lore!?? Angst and cruel bad endings!!?? SHROOMS!?!?!? {Oh by the way, there's multiple ways to get killed in this game. Just make sure to be careful sweetie :3}

Where Winter Crows go A crow and a scientist named Crowe... cute Another one of my other personal favourites! The love interest is a very squeezable and adorable (yandere) scientist who cooks you good food :D All of the endings are well-written! And if you're a crazy bitch like me, you'll love one of the endings >:)

THIS IS PART 1 SINCE I CAN'T FIT EVERYTHING IN 😭

[fun-eralsss]

was making a post about all my intersex headcanons, but i realized that so many of them were from homestuck that i might as well make a whole post solely about them. so yea :)

btw this one’s gonna be LONG AS HELL

homestuck headcanons (intersex edition because i do what i want :p)

first off, the humans!!

jade harley (NCAH): honestly, it’s mostly just vibes. plus her whole thing is dogs n stuff. dogs have a lot of hair. you know who else has lots of hair? people with NCAH

roxy lalonde (AIS): remember that whole thing where hussie revealed the last two letters of her name first, so everyone immediately headcanonned her as a trans woman, then it was confirmed that she’s cis? homegirl can have XY chromosomes while being cis! bada bing bada boom!

ok now the trolls!! (this section will be significantly longer lmao)

sollux captor (Chimerism): first of all, his blood is literally yellow, so yknow. second of all, duality is a HUGE part of his character! it just makes sense for him to be a chimera to me tbh (i also headcanon that gold and violetbloods are more likely to be medically recognized as intersex but that’s an entirely different can of worms)

nepeta leijon (PCOS): same reasoning as jade, but her whole thing is cats. cats have lots of hair. you know who else has lots of hair? people with PCOS

kanaya maryam (Klinefelter’s Syndrome): most people depict her as being super tall, and you know who tends to be super tall? yeah :)

(i know that it’s kinda implied at all jadebloods are female, just let me have trans intersex kanaya. i beg. i grovel at your feet)

terezi pyrope (undeclared, likely Chimerism): i feel like she would really love to bring up her intersexuality while arguing with a transphobe or intersexist. she would also probably not disclose what her specific variation is so they couldn’t pull the whole “you’re just a fe/male with a dsd!!!!” bs. also, balance is a huge part of her character, so i feel like chimerism particularly suits her

equius zahhak (Hyperandrogenism): his body is quite literally overflowing with testosterone. man is literally sweating 24/7 and frankly, no other indigobloods seem to have as much testosterone as him, so we know this isn’t typical. they’re all strong, yeah, but this guy is on a whole other level. i just KNOW this boy’s skin is oily as hell

(also yes!! i headcanon equius as a cis guy with hyperandrogenism!! intersex doesn’t just mean “man with lots of estrogen” or “woman with lots of androgen”!!)

eridan ampora (PAIS): ok this one is one im actually super passionate about. in the og comic, all female trolls are consistently drawn with black lips (with the exception of nepeta, who i’ve already included on here). all the male trolls are drawn without the lips except for eridan. eridan is shown to have black lips in multiple panels! back when it was first pointed out, most assumed it was because of how feminine he is compared to the other guys, but you know what? idc!!! that boy is intersex and indulges in toxic masculinity due to his insecurity!!! idc what anyone has to say!!! also his blood is literally violet so yknow

damara megido (CAIS): i think she would get a really big kick out of not having body hair, periods or the ability to give birth. obviously there are downsides to it, but i doubt those would get in her way of having fun. i also think she would really like reclaiming That One Japanese Slur For Intersex People

cronus ampora (MAIS): mostly cause vibes and the fact that he’s related to eridan, so it’s more likely. what can i say, the ampora boys are very “does being intersex make me less of a man?” coded

bonuses!!!

rose lalonde (PCOS): she gives me the vibe of a woman who has PCOS but doesn’t consider herself intersex due to how little it affects her. tho i imagine that she’s done lots of reading on intersex variations considering how two people she cares deeply about (kanaya and roxy) do consider themselves intersex

dave strider (MAIS): i know that trans dave is a super popular headcanon and don’t get me wrong, transgender icon dave strider will save the world!! it’s just that for me personally, i’ve only been able to see him as an intersex guy. though in his case, i imagine that he would find out pretty late into his life. and like his sister, considering how little it’s affected his life, he wouldn’t consider himself intersex either

anyways yeah that’s it :) have a good day <3

[danyvhell-writes]

General Ais headcanons (Touchstarved)

GN reader | The obsession with this game is real guys :') I can't get away

─────

• Cat boyfriend like, bro will fall asleep on you (your chest, lap...) but if you dare to move just a little tiny bit the magic is over ! He will wake up instantly and go somewhere else to take a nap :')

• He's not gonna tell you but he likes when you touch his hair. Caress him, touch his horns, ruffle his hair even ! He's down for it and the moment you discover his little secret he'll give you endless opportunities to do so

• ↑ Scratch his head, please. Weak spot is right at the junction of his back horns, tug softly on his hair and the boy will melt.

• Ais is a man of few words but he really enjoys talking with you. Most of the time he'll annoy you just as an excuse to interact with you so you can start talking with him (and 99% of the time it works). He finds your little conversations entertaining and relaxing somehow.

• Btw, this guy will listen to you rambling. Talk about your latest obsession, stuff you like, things that seem unimportant : he will listen. He's curious to know more and especially if it's related to your fascinating person. Sometimes he'll just sit next to you and lean in your space just to have a better hearing of what you're saying. It might feel like you're monopolising the conversation but no no, he'll respond with snarky comments, laugh if you say something funny or ask you to keep going with your story. And also, he really likes your voice so...

• You remember when he said "I got eyes in the back of my head." ? (something like that) Well yeah ! His eyes are on you, always. His gaze will follow you wherever you are, with or without him. I'm sure this man uses the Groupmind to spy on MC ! Like bro come on, stop crushing this hard.

• If you have pets, they're not yours anymore. He WILL adopt them. Could be any animal or magic creature really, he will offer them absolute love in just two seconds. "Oh, this is my cat ! Her name's Nori, you can pet her if you want, she's super friendly." *pets her* "Oh yes you are !" *lifts her up so he can take her in his arms like a baby*  "Look at you, you're gorgeous. Such pretty eyes, cute little face, kitty kitty~ !" 

• He loves seeing you close to his soulless but he's also a tiny bit jealous to see that you sometimes prefer Princess' company rather than his. He'd be like "Uh hello I can do tricks too if that's what you like ??"

• He likes tea. That's it. That's the headcanon. No more seriously... I feel like he could be a tea amateur and genuinely enjoys a good cup of tea. If you don't know alot about it, he'll teach you the different types, how to infuse them correctly, what dishes you can pair them up with ! Want to learn how to make a real exquisite matcha tea ? He'll show you with much pride ! 

• ↑ Chit chat with him around some tea he made and he's yours. Bonus point if you ask for more. Extra bonus point if you're able to guess which tea it is.

• Has a special cup he keeps just for you when you visit him. He remembers your favourite drink and makes sure to always have a bottle/the ingredients when you come.

• If Ais is an oni, he might be japanese, so, this man speaks japanese. Most people think that because of his appearance he'd be super rude but oh no no no, the boy is polite. People assume he'd use 'ore' but nah ah, full 'watashi' user over here. You know that thing when your voice and demeanor changes a little when you switch languages ? That's him. His voice tends to go softer when he speaks japanese, he doesn't even realize.

• We know he likes learning about new languages, teach him some stuff. Of course he'll remember the curse words & insults quickly but pet names and romantic nouns are his favourites. If you're polyglot, show off a little, he likes it. Talk in your native tongue, even if he doesn't get anything at first, he will crush even harder. "Eh t'savais que les girafes avaient le même nombre de vertèbres que nous ? C'est juste qu'elles sont plus longues. C'est ouf ça !" "You make French sound so attractive and I'm sure you're not even saying anything particularly sexy..." "Yep !" "God, I want them so bad." he thinks

• After some time, you'd both start to naturally use words or phrases you've taught each other/you've heard from each other. He'd flex on you just to show how much of a fast learner he is, he wants to see you proud of him.

• Cracks his joints. A lot. Also stretches a lot.

• That guy who asks you to pull on his arms or whatever to help him stretch as hard as possible. "More." "What do you mean more ? I'm gonna break your bones !" "I said more, I"m not fragile you know." until you hear a big 'pop' and he sighs with contentment.

• If you burp in front of him, he'll make it a competition. "You think this is a big one ? Oh sparrow... you're a little player." And then proceeds to traumatize you for the next decade. "Do you have the fucking devil in you ???" "Nope, just my friend Ocudeus. He's gross, I know >:)"

• Traces small patterns along your skin when he's bored. He's really gentle when it comes to touching you.

• That type of guy who's obsessed with your hair, especially if it has a different texture than his. You could be doing anything and this bastard (affectionate) will twirl your hair, put clips in it, try hairstyles if you let him. He'll let you do the same to him if you want ! Go on, have fun with your new doll lmao

• Give him the silliest clothes and accessories, he will wear them. The bimboest crop top ? Yeah cool. Bat hair clips ? Cute. 

• Would joke about eating you to scare you but strangely you're always the one ending up biting him ! (not that he minds)

• 100% asks you if you want to fight. Like not in a threatening way but to test you out, he wants to see if you can handle a little sparring. 

• If you're someone who enjoys working out, he proposes to train with you. It sometimes follows to some sparring which might end up with you guys kissing... weird uh

• Has a particularly good memory. He remembers things that even yourself forgot, like really he’s your second brain (and often you’re glad). Everytime you’re asking him “How do you even remember that tf ??” and he’s just “Don’t know 🤷🏻‍♂️“

• You're the type of person who calls any guy 'bro' ? No prob, he finds it funny. He's not offended in the slightest and even actually likes it, he knows it's a language tic. Would definitely send you this type of dumb shit ouezghfoez 😭

• He can be a little chaotic sometimes but you like it. After all he’s a demon, he likes joking and pranking so even better if you join him in his mischievous activities hehe. You guys would do the silliest stuff and try not to burst out laughing. Evil ones, evil.          

• Does that cute thing where he leans in close to you when you’re watching something and follows your gaze. He’s just a curious lil guy !

[fallenangel-s-thot]

your wife | yoonseok + you

summary: your husband want to try something new and yoongi didn't mind to help.

pairing: min yoongi x f! reader x jung hoseok

warnings: eighteen+ content, porn with plot, dark, fingering, threesome, (m) masterbating, slight degradation, undertones of manipulation.

author note: it's not proof read and the grammar is not great nether ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ i wrote it when I was simping over sope and thought i should publish it . Btw we have a little bit of sub yoongi here.

i do not give anyone permission to translate or repost my work, please be respectful - if you enjoyed please comment or reblog!

yoongi is disgusted with his behavior.

he hates that every interaction with you, his best friend’s wife, results in his cock straining against the fabric of his pants. all alone in his bedroom, he slips his hand underneath his boxers to do everything he can to relieve himself, and he whimpers pathetically from the slightest contact.

the walls of his shared apartment with Hoseok are way too thin.

he can hear your muffled moans, the sound of your whines feeding his heated state as he pumps even faster.

when he closes his eyes he thinks about how Hoseok fucks you, pictures how pliable you look underneath his large frame, and tries to imagine the squelching sound your pussy makes as Hoseok pounds into your cunt. 

he cums all over himself, sinking his teeth into his pillowcase as a single tear trickles down his blushing face. 

he swears he’s going to stop, that he would finally get a grip on these urges but he’s caught in a vicious circle.

it’s a dirty little secret he conceals - but the guilt wraps around his neck like a noose whenever you or hobi smile in his direction.

you love how much you’ve integrated yourself into Hoseok’s life, especially when it came to his cherished friendship with yoongi.

he always spoke so fondly of yoongi - and sometimes you wonder just how close they were before you were married to Hoseok.

you only recently began noticing a slight shift in Yoongi’s behavior.

you tried not to dwell on it at first and merely assumed that he was just going through something but one night, when you snuck away from Hoseok’s bed to use the bathroom, you approached the door and noticed a strip of light peeking out from underneath the frame.

you could hear low grunts coming from the other side, and your stomach coiled because you immediately picked up on what was happening. yoongi was moaning softly to himself, cursing under his breath until your name left him like a broken plea.

you quickly turned on your heel, marching straight back to your husband’s bedroom in utter shock. hook laughs when you tell him the story.

you were anxious and worried, but your boyfriend merely chuckled to himself with indifference. 

“poor guy. he hates being alone. he must be getting frustrated, and it looks like he isn’t getting any action,” he explained with genuine sympathy, before proceeding to point out that he was the only reason why yoongi managed to get laid in the first place. 

“I've been neglecting my duties since we got serious,” he pointed out with a shrug. you were surprised that he wasn’t more alarmed about the situation, but Hoseok reassures you that yoongi wouldn’t cross any lines.

at this point, you wanted to satisfy your curiosities and you boldly asked Hoseok if he’s ever helped out yoongi when he was this desperate. 

“it’s happened a few times,” your husband honestly replies, “But Hyung and I know it doesn’t mean anything...” 

the heavy silence is only broken when you shock Hoseok with a suggestion, by stating that maybe the two of you can assist yoongi in his current predicament.

your pretty hobi’s eyes glimmer with excitement and he can’t help but think what this could mean for the three of you in the future. 

“Is this better, yoongi?” hobi murmurs, his thumb tracing over Yoongi’s throat as he looks down at him. 

he’s standing next to the edge of the bed, while yoongi ays out flat across the mattress. his best friend nods his head, panting heavily as his slender fingers press into the meat of your thighs. he’s watching you grind your hips back and forth with hooded eyes.

his abdominals sink when you drag your nails across his torso, and you can’t help but smile over how pretty he looks melting beneath you.

“fuck, she f-feels...she feels amazing...ugh, you’re so perfect...” he cries, choking out a sob as you slowly raise your hips before dropping your weight back down over his length. 

hoseok raises his brow with approval and tucks his bottom lip between his teeth as he eyes you hungrily before flashing you a tender smile.

“she is...” 

his fingers curl underneath Yoongi’s minty locks, and he lightly massages his scalp.

“you act like such a needy brat when you don’t get what you want...” he huffs, bringing the tip of his leaky cock against Yoongi’s lips.

“now be a good boy and show me how thankful you are.”

fuck this is gonna be intense. 

[obsidianbaby]

Don't Love Me Like A Brother - Chapter 1

Brothers Best Friend Series - CHAPTER 1

Prologue -

series synopsis - ronnie's younger brother, tyler, is a famous youtuber and influencer and is best friends with the sturniolos. This series will be following ronnie's life as she befriends the triplets and catches herself developing feelings for a certain someone...

chapter synopsis - flashback to meeting the sturniolo triplets for the first time after tyler films his very first collab with them.

warnings/notes - no smut just fluff and maybe a touch of angst??

a/n - it didn't feel right to jump right into an established friendship with the triplets just yet so im giving y'all this to eat up for now enjoyyyyyyy mwah xx

___________________________________________

CHAPTER 1 - do you believe in love at first sight? fuck no, but i do believe in interest at first sight.

1 year ago ~

ronnies pov

it's currently almost 5pm and i'm waiting for a text back from ty to see if he'll be home for dinner tonight so I know what to make.

Dad's working until 8pm so i'll have to make sure ty doesn't come home and stuff his fat face so there's enough left for dad.

I decide to text ty again

_________

sent at 4:49 pm

ron - i was thinking of making my carbonara tonight, you down or what?

tyguy - FUCCKKKKKK yes

tyguy - dad working til close?

ron - yepp

ron - hows filming? did you cause them any serious injuries?

tyguy - filming was a blast we're just packing up to leave now

tyguy - and not that could give them reason to sue

ron - your honor, they agreed to the video idea, my brother is innocent

tyguy - she's correct your honor, in fact i was coerced into filming with them, i am but an innocent bystander

ron - *insert clip of tyler pushing the sturniolo triplets off of their skateboards resulting in serious contusions to the head*

tyguy - i have no idea what that is, ai goes crazy these days your honor

ron - BAAHAHHHAA

ron - when will ya be home, dinner will be ready in like an hour ish

tyguy - we are on our way now

ron - we?? our??

tyguy - yeah i invited them to come try your cooking, so make sure you make enough for us, we're growing boys

ron - alright. thanks for offering to help cook btw

tyguy - did you not offer to cook for me?

ron - yeah FOR YOU not for the 4 of you PLUS me and dad..

tyguy - boo you whore

tyguy - be home in 20

ron - see you soon cunt !!

______

20 minutes pass and i hear the garage door swing open and a herd of elephants storming their way towards me in the kitchen.

"something smells fucking delicious"

"oh my god im so ready for this fucking food"

"are you sure its okay we stay?"

"dude don't worry i let her know" ty reassures him.

I feel a pat on my shoulder as ty stands beside me looking at me slaving over the stove.

"yeah you let me know 20 minutes ago asshat" i scoff.

"hey now no sharp tongues in front of the guests" ty says jokingly and i turn around to see nick, matt, and chris standing awkwardly by the kitchen table. I'd be damned if i didnt say these men standing before me weren't some of the prettiest mfs i've ever seen.

"hey ronnie, im chris, its nice to meet you," chris says beaming a kind smile and fuck me his smile is to die for.

"yes and thank you so much for having us over im literally starving," nick says rubbing his tummy, "i'm nick by the way" he adds and his brothers and ty laugh.

"not a problem guys, the more the merrier they say" i smile back at nick, i know he's gay but its not a crime to appreciate real beauty when i see it.

"are you sure, we don't want to make it a hassle for you" the third one chimes in not offering his name to me. Not like i don't know who he is already. and fuck he looks so good in his baggy jeans and polo shirt, and is that a chain around his neck? fuck.

"yeah matt its all good" I smile, turning back around to focus on cooking, hoping they think my flushed face is from the steam coming off the hot food and not from how flustered and awkward i feel to be surrounded by three gorgeous guys.

"ooooo she name dropped you kid" ty says mockingly.

"don't think you know the definition of name dropping but the effort was there" i joke back, the boys all laughing at my words.

"don't be weird guys you can sit down you know" ty says gesturing to the kitchen table and taking a seat himself, "its gonna be a while for the chef to complete our entree"

"would take less time if you offered to help me ty" i say stirring the pot (literally and metaphorically).

"i can help" matt offers, walking up beside me, "show me what you need me to do".

i offer him a smile, "no no please you're our guest, i've got this. thank you though" and he nods smiling back at me.

"yeah i'd stay out of her way when she's cooking, turns into hells kitchen" ty jokes from his seat at the table.

"watch your mouth tyler or i'll make sure you get sauceless pasta in your bowl"

"whateverrrrrr"

"do you guys want anything to drink since your host hasn't opened his big mouth to offer you anything?" I ask, turning to face the guys who now all sit around the small kitchen table.

"yeah sure, what do ya got?" chris asks, standing up from his chair, and i try not to stare at his exposed biceps in the tank he's wearing.

"help yourself" i motion towards the fridge behind me and chris wanders over looking through the options. He grabs the glass container of lemonade and turns to me.

"what is this..?" he asks, a cute and confused expression on his face.

"thats my nans homemade lemonade, family recipe. Its fucking delicious, a good choice." i say smiling at him.

he nods and places it on the counter beside me.

"glasses are in the cupboard left of the sink" i add, and chris nods, grabbing a few glasses out.

"anyone for nan's lemonade?" he asks his brothers and ty.

"yes please"

"absolutely"

"yesssss"

as the boys sit at the kitchen table waiting for dinner sipping on nans lemonade, deep in conversation, matt wanders over to me again.

"yes matt?" i ask, avoiding facing towards him so he can't see how nervous he's making me by standing so close.

"bowls? to set the table?" he asks, and i point to the correct cupboard and slide the utensil drawer open for him.

Matt collects everything we need to set the table and ty comes into the kitchen to help him.

______________

a few minutes later and we sit around the small kitchen table chatting and eating, i notice matt taking small glimpses at me from across the table which is making me blush like a fucking fool.

"pastas delicious ronnie thank you" chris says from beside me, and i turn to look at him, and i return a smile feeling my cheeks heat up.

"thanks chris"

______________

since i cooked, ty stands in the kitchen cleaning up and setting aside a bowl for when dad gets home.

Matt helps ty in the kitchen while i sit on my laptop at the table with chris and nick, uploading the content they filmed today for us to watch through and for me to edit.

"i see your brother also makes you edit all of his content" nick jokes from beside me eyeing chris.

"you love editing though and you're actually good at it so" chris says from across the table.

"yeah it's alright though, i love this shit" i say, busying my fingers as i open a couple tabs to get ready to cut the video together. "videos uploaded, did you guys want to watch the uncut version first before i start?"

"nah its okay we trust you" matt says from the kitchen.

"sounds good to me" i smile as i connect my headphones to my computer to begin watching the uncut video.

Chris wanders over behind me leaning over my shoulder and says something to me which of course i can't hear through my noise cancelling headphones. i slide up the left side of my headphones slightly over my ear and ask him to repeat himself.

"did you take that?" he asks referring to the sunset picture as my homescreen.

"yeah i did" I smile shyly.

"oh ron's brilliant with a camera, she takes all of my photos you see on the gram." ty says proudly from the kitchen.

"thanks ty"

"wow you're incredible ronnie" chris says over my shoulder and i can feel the heat of his breath on my neck.

"thats really sweet chris" i say turning to face him, his blue eyes piercing through my green ones, our faces closer than most acquaintances are used to.

"well we're all done cleaning up, shall we give ronnie some space to edit?" matt suggests walking over to the table, and i snap my head immediately away from chris to look over at matt.

the guys all agree and disappear off to ty's room leaving me alone at the table, happily watching ty teach the triplets how to skateboard from my computer screen.

an hour later, i get a message from ty

____________

tyguy has added you to a groupchat

tyguy - made this for our future collabs and for ron to give us updates on the editing

ron - still editing (it's literally only been an hour and you guys filmed around 3 hours of content so)

tyguy - yeah sorry about that

chris - dont worry take your time ronnie

nick - yeah 3 hours of me pulling every muscle in my entire body

matt - cant wait to see what you create :)

tyguy - yeah dw my post day is on wednesday so we have a couple days

ron - we?

matt and chris liked a message

ron sent 3 attachments

ron - keeping this in, sorry nick

chris - lmaoooo

tyguy - kid was not cut out for the skate life fr

matt saved 3 videos

nick - i hate all of you

ron changed groupchat name to "amateur hour"

________________

another hour passes and i hear dad come in through the back door in the kitchen.

"heya winnie" he says placing his lunch box on the counter and coming over to place a kiss on my head.

"hey dad, how was work?" i ask smiling up at him. he takes a seat across from me at the table and groans.

"ah it was alright, how was your day kiddo?"

"it was goooood, just editing ty's video he filmed today."

"ah, with those triplet boys right?"

"yep. you hungry? I made carbonara for dinner tonight"

"oh jesus christ you're an angel." he says going to stand up but i wave my hand.

"no no allow me," i say getting up from my chair, "and take your nasty boots off man they stink" i add as i giggle, walking over to grab dads bowl from the fridge to heat up in the microwave.

"will do" he says, sliding off his boots and walking over to place them just outside of the back door before returning to his seat at the table.

"here ya go" i say, placing the hot bowl of creamy pasta in front of him watching contently as he digs in.

ty and the triplets then quietly wander into the kitchen

"the guys are leaving now" ty says, "hey dad whats up?" ty says giving a friendly pat to his back, "these are my friends, Nick, Chris, and Matt" he introduces them and they exchange a wave with my dad.

"hey guys im joe, welcome to the Wilkinson house," he says with a warm grin before turning to ty, "heya tyguy, hope you helped your sister with dinner tonight." he adds before taking a bite of his pasta.

"he did not" i add and the triplets chuckle quietly from across the kitchen.

"i cleaned though" ty adds proud of himself.

"yeah with matts help" i add looking over towards matt and flashing a smirk which matt returns. ty swats my arm in annoyance.

"its not polite to inquire the help of guests to do your job" dad says jokingly, winking at the triplets.

"it was the least i could do to thank them for inviting us for dinner" matt adds and i smile at the computer screen trying hard to avoid looking at up him to see the cute smile thats probably spread across his face.

"well thank you son, appreciate it when ty's friends do more to help around the house than him" dad says to matt, smirking over at me and i laugh.

"sorry didn't know it was bully ty time" ty says in annoyance as he walks back towards the triplets gesturing for them to make their way down the hall to the garage.

"no we're sorry for your confusion because bully ty time is actually all the time" i say laughing and dad and the triplets join in. ty just flips us off as he ushers the guys to follow him.

"bye guys!" i say waving at the triplets as they follow ty.

"bye ronnie thank you so much for dinner! it was so good to meet you" nick says flashing a warm smile.

"bye ronnie thanks again for dinner, it was delicious" chris adds, beaming at me.

"bye ronnie thanks for everything, see you soon" matt says smiling and waving as he turns to follow the other three down the hall.

_______________

new message recieved at 10:11 pm

i sit up in my bed closing my laptop and grab my phone off my nightstand.

chris - would love to see more of your photography sometime

chris - if you'd let me of course

ronnie - id be honored to show you my photography

chris liked a message

ronnie - im almost done with the video

ronnie - very impressed with this btw

chris liked a message

ronnie sent 1 attachment

chris liked a message

chris - im pretty proud of myself for landing that on the second try ngl

ronnie - kinda pissed it took you only two tries

ronnie - took me weeks to land that

chris - you skate too?

ronnie - who do you think got ty into skateboarding?

chris liked a message

chris - ah so you're a master chef, a professional editor, take really dope pictures, and you skate too huh?

ronnie - im pretty cool what can i say

chris - I'd have to agree with that

ronnie - it'd be a crime not to

chris liked a message

__________

1:34 am

ron air dropped 1 video to amateur hour

ron - video is done mfs

ron - let me know what y'all think

matt liked a video message

matt - videos perfect ronnie thank you

tyguy - mid

ron disliked 1 message

chris - wild thing to say to her

tyguy - she'll get over it

nick - videos great ronnie

nick - tys an idiot

ron - thanks guys (ty count your days)

tyguy - im quivering in my dino slippers

ron - ty if I let you edit your own videos you would probably just be clocking out of your shift at dons rn

nick, matt, and chris liked 1 message

tyguy disliked 1 message

nick - HAHAHAHA

chris - low blow lmao

matt - i only see facts

tyguy - why do you all hate me fr

ron - boo you whore

nick, chris and matt liked 1 message

tyguy - ending it rn

ron - can you bring me a glass of water before you do? Im parched from keeping your career afloat

nick, matt, and chris like 1 message

tyguy - would you like it with ice your majesty?

ron - yes and a straw thanks

_______________

tyguy Posted New YouTube Video at 6pm est on Wednesday May 17th 2023

" Teaching the Sturniolo Triplets How to Skateboard? "

END OF CHAPTER 1 - Do you believe in love at first sight? fuck no, but i do believe in interest at first sight.

____________________________________________

a/n - hehehehehhe im having so much fun writing this hope you guys enjoyed chapter 1 MWAH xx

[monscrow]

intro post, i guess!!!

last updated 06/nov/2024

⚠️flash warning for blinkies at the bottom⚠️

free gaza, free palestine, stop genocide. you don't agree? block me.

i go by both mons and crow.

my pronouns are they/them, he/him and any neos/xenos that you think would fit either comedically or off of vibes.

lvl 16, so, a minor !! beware

aromantic, graysexual, something like that; qprs are sick asf and all hail relationship anarchy.

art sideblog is @monscrow-arts

super amazing pretty boyfriend !!!<3 🍎

audhdcd (asd + adhd + ocd 😻😋) and hEDS (+ ortho hypo 😛). i use tonetags.

bday is oct 7. ���🎉🎉

i'm mexican 🇲🇽!! i speak both spanish and english.

timezone is cst/utc-6.

i say slurs i can reclaim (mainly the f and t queer ones) and swear a lot, though if that makes you uncomfortable please either block me or lmk so i can try to tone it down when around you.

i love interacting!! feel free to tag me in stuff, send some asks (be it on anon or not), or message me! moots can ask for my discord even if we've never actually talked before. though i suck at keeping consistent, nothing personal i promise</3 /gen

i tend to spam-reblog so do with that information what you will.

some tags you might see me use here and there:

#mons rambles ← just my thoughts, ideas, opinions, and whatever i feel like throwing into the tumblr void.

#ask a crow / #anon asks ← askbox replies.

#save / #art save / #fav / #hellsite faves ← these are more for myself, but yeah they're pretty self-descriptive. just in case you get curious or anything.

#🍎 ← beloved.

hyperfixations/interests/things i'm passionate about !!! i guess, kinda

→ mcr (+ most of the members' solo projects)

→ killjoys (california + national anthem, but mainly calif and fanon)

→ demolition lovers lore (i have literally written like at least three different essays about it for school help me i'm so serious)

→ emo/alt/diy culture

→ will wood

→ bandom in general

→ graphic design, arts and crafts, illustration (that's right y'all graphic design IS my passion 😔)

→ fnaf

→ cosplay/costume-making

→ d&d

→ crows (no way, crow, really???)

→ australian shepherds

→ the umbrella academy (s4 isn't canon in my heart + currently reading the comics !!! )

→ gravity falls

→ neurodivergencies/psychology/disabilities (this one's pretty meta ngl)

→ lgbtqia+ identities (emphasis on the aroace-spec ones + relationship anarchy)

→ politics/activism

→ linguistics + conlangs

→ fantasy in general (high fantasy, magic, vampires, tieflings, you name it)

→ boardgames

→ the count of monte cristo (2024) (also i just bought the book so i'll be reading that too !!)

→ parkour civilization

→ uhhhh there's more but i don't remember rn, i'll keep adding as i see fit (probably... maybe..... perhaps....... quizás........ puede ser..........)

dni

trump supporters, terfs, transphobes, anti lgbtqia+/queerphobics, exclusionists, ableists, racists, prolifers/antichoicers, proshippers/anti-antis, irl gore, pro-israel/zionists, pro-ai generated "content", pro-nft, non-critical media consumers, classists, ed blogs, sh blogs.

also, i'm aware that dnis tend to not be effective and i probably will still get shitty ppl in my inbox so i can and will block. though i'm p chill as long as you're chill. this blog is run by a very neurodivergent, mentally ill, mexican, transmasc, aroace faggot, and any kind of bigoted hatred will not be tolerated.

blinkies made with blinkies cafe !!!

pssst btw, before you go, if you read my intro post i'd heavily encourage you to like it, so i can know!!! :] (/nf though!)

[yourwworstnightmare]

YIPPEE A COMEBACK

and with a whole drawing too!! here you go, the Laughing Jack, aka silly goose who i love very much : ) it is an AU, so his looks are changed!

and here's a little explanation to this whole thing, as well as some proof(?? i guess that's what it's called??? basically screenshots of the process of drawing and the video. im very scared of ai accusations with the fact that i literally can't draw hands) in the end. in short, I'll be just yapping. thanks to those who will be reading that too!!

so, back in my phase of creepypasta jack was one of my favourites, DESPITE how badly his story was written.(it is only my opinion, if you like it — it's okay!) so, recently, I decided to re-read it again, because I felt nostalgic and, well.. nothing has changed 🧍. It's all the same torture-porn. but! The idea of Jack is really cool, and I decided to take it into my own hands, that is, to make AU. two attempts to write everything that is spinning in my head are dusting in my drafts, but I think I can briefly mention some details from my AU here.

This story more focuses on Jack himself, and his growth as an very, very unstable being with the influence of Isaac, to the extent that his initial purpose of making children happy is now gone. Also, this story will involve minimal killing, as I really want to make this AU not so much a bloody massacre as an exploration of Jack's inner world as an ethereal creature who happens to to see the cruelty of man.

Jack is a magician now! or a magician-clown, if you will. still a creature from outer space

As stated earlier, Jack's a "spirit" that makes the children happy, staying as long as he needs to satisfy them. this means — yes, he did go to the other kids after Isaac. And! Jack can be anyone his friend wants him to see. This also includes his gender and name. Jack was what Isaac called him.

No matter who Jack turns into, his nose always remains the same. Yes, this also applies to his animal personas, etc.

Jack never had any ill will. Yet, as in the original, he never had morals or boundaries. So, there was only some signs that this mf is NOT okay before he actually killed someone.

Isaac is just a very fucked up man who definitely didn't deserve the "Jack" treatment 😢

The story has another protagonist now, who's name is Caroline. She was the next after Isaac, and the one with whom Jack realized that his concern for children had completely disappeared, as well as for otherhuman beings. that's her arm on the drawing btw!!! love you Carry :)

This AU is still very young and flawed, so please don't be rude. Thank you for understanding and thank you very much for listening ♥️. I don't think I'll ever put in a full rewrite in online space, but if someone will be interested, I'm all for telling more.

drawing process:

[jade-kyo]

Non-Red vs Blue fans guess the fake fact: results!

Find the og post here

Alright time to finally review the results! Correct answer is at the bottom of this post for those not interested in all of the results and explanations!

So the most highly voted option at 23% was Elijah Wood which I’m sorry to say is incorrect! Elijah Wood was a voice actor in the series. He played the role of Sigma! What this big name actor is doing in a random web series I have no idea but it’s still one of the wildest things to me.

Now the aspirin overdose comes in with 17.3% and got mentioned a lot in the notes and it is also incorrect. However I will admit to some poor wording on my part because it was actually an allergic reaction not an overdose. That’s a genuine oopsies on my part 😅

Florida sinking into the ocean gets a 10.1% and is also incorrect! The state of Florida does in fact sink into the ocean and it’s implied this was to cover up the disappearance of Agent Florida (who is also the guy who dies from the aspirin)

The gay guy, who’s name is Donut btw, becoming Jesus comes in with 8.3% and is in fact very real. He even walks on water. It was wild and tbh I barely remember it cause it’s from a season I dislike but it was too wild not to include.

With 7.2% I can say for sure that the giant killer robot is indeed dressed up in cute hats! Specifically a sombrero! Also the robots name is Freckles.

CPR for a bullet wound in the head gets 6.7% and is in fact considered effective medical care. Now I will say this later gets retconned and it turns out the guy didn’t actually get shot in the head the bullet just grazed him and his armor locked up making them all think he was dying- hence the choice of word being considered. The characters fully believe it but the CPR did not actually save him cause he wasn’t even hurt to begin with.

The crazy love triangle comes in with 4.7% and is also very canon and is exactly as it’s said. There’s literally just this insane love triangle for like two seasons- honestly the only love triangle plot I ever enjoyed.

With a solid 4% I can say that there is in fact canon mpreg! Hurray? Idk man this one’s exactly as it sounds. Dude got knocked up by an alien.

In last place with 2.5% of votes is the main character dying repeatedly. This is also incorrect. First off this guy is named Church which very funny on its own. Secondly it’s actually one of the first running jokes in the series how much this dude dies. Until it’s not a joke 🫠 also a few people pointed out RvB doesn’t have a main character and while I agree I felt it was simpler just to call Church the main character for this poll since it’s designed for people who haven’t seen RvB and I would argue that the majority of the narrative centers around Church even when he’s not there.

And now for the correct answer, coming in at third place with 16.1% is Caboose is god!

Now I will fully confess to being sneaky with this one. This is actually a joke made within the series but it is not true at all. Caboose is not actually god and the platypus is just that fucked up. I knew nothing I could come up with would be able to match the absurdity of this series so I decided to twist a few words so that way everything seemed equally fucked up.

And that concludes the poll! I will now leave you off with a few honorable mentions that did not make the Final Cut:

They have a Spanish speaking robot. None of them speak Spanish.

He’s a ghost but not actually a ghost but actually a highly advanced computer program

Woman has mega beef with an AI copy of her dead mom

The highly advanced computer program can’t aim for shit

The first 5 seasons were revealed to actually be a prolonged torture session

Dude chases his dead gf through multiple iteration of the same memory

Woman developed a sibling like bond with an AI copy of her extremely neglectful father

[caotictimmy]

May I request a Caine x reader romantic headcanons like— Maybe on cutesy dates like picnic dates or something, please??? I loaf him sm 🍞💖

OMG YES HIIIIII TY FOR BEING MY FIRST REQUEST:3333so shout out to you munchie number 1:) this might be a little quick, but let’s get into it!!(gn!reader btw :3 )

✮Caine is such a romantic partner even tho he is ai, he reminds me of one of those 1920 husbands that always takes his partner on a date at least once a week

✮Caine will always surprise you,no matter how long you guys have been together,and the moment you think he has ran out of ideas, he has something up his sleeve (yes this is a magician joke I’m aloud to have some ok leave me alone🙁)

✮he will always get you cute gifts, weather that be your favorite flowers, or a cute stuff animal of him, you can’t tell me he wouldn’t give you a plushie of him, I feel like he would have one of you to, and there’s little magnets in the hands that connect them together (y’all I’m crying over my own head canons 😭)

✮this man would definitely write you sappy poems and you know it, yes they might be sappy and cheesy, but he really just pours his heart out in the letters for you, he just wants to remind you how much he really really REALLY loves you

✮now getting on to the picnic date I think it would start out with Caine putting everyone on a some what difficult adventurer to keep them distracted(cause every one knows jax will try to ruin it😒)

✮then he would probably take you by the lake, with some trees for shade he’s set out the stereotypical picnic blanket, he’d bring a little picnic basket with some flowers and candles, cause of course our favorite pair of dentures would do that for us

✮he’d definitely bring your favorite food along with dessert,I’m gonna be honest I think he’s either a pudding guy or a pumpkin pie guy he just gives me that vibe

✮and to cap off the night after you guys finish your food, he’d lean in and give you a little kiss and tell you that he loves you, how the end ends gonna go is either you guys go inside cause the crews done with the adventure or you guys will cuddle until they are done

HIIIII AUHTOR NOTE THANK YOU TO MY FIRST PERSON WHL REQUESTED I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU!!! You can also find me on wattpad with the name youmumlovesme402(goofy name I know I got it 3 years ago) again thank you so much for reader and I hope you guys enjoy my first work!

[dr-spectre]

Guess what game I just finished!!!

I dont have a lot to say on this because I think over the past 20 years people have already said enough.

But... MY GOD! The level of variety, creativity, and fresh ideas each chapter brings holy SHITTTT!!! One moment you're going underground with a cute goomba girl, then you're fighting a dragon, then you're playing a World 1-1 recreation with BOWSER! Then you're playing as Peach who has this deeply emotional and sad relationship with an AI (Tec is the goat, I love that ai. Top 10 ai in fiction idc), then you're doing a tournament arc AND THEN YOU'RE DOING A TRAIN MYSTERY OH MY GOODNESS!!!!

The combat is really fun and charming, THE DIALOGUE IS SO WELL WRITTEN AND I LAUGHED MULTIPLEEEEE TIMES!!! I love the characters, I love the world, I love the art style, i love most of the boss fights, the music is banging (I played with the original ost), God there's so much to love.

I will say, the final chapter of this game did kinda drag on, and there's so many points where I was thinking "okay NOW I get to fight the final boss!" And it takes another hour to get to them.... there's so many obvious signs of padding (copy and pasted hallways, a trash "pick the right door" puzzle, etc.)

I also didn't like how when you swapped partners that counts as a turn, i feel like you should be able to swap without wasting a turn because it would help with the flow of combat and make using Goombella's tattle less of a fucking pain...

Also....

VIVIAN IS SO FUCKING CUTE!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! SHE'S MY FAVOURITE PARTNER BY FARRRRR!!!!! Goombella is really cute too and she has amazing dialogue. I love the storyline of Admiral Bobbery too and that stuff made me cry... but...EEEEE I LOVE VIVIAN!!!!

GOD I JUST WANNA HUG HER!!! I WANNA PINCH HER CHUBBY CHEEKS!!! I WANNA RUB HER BELLY!!!! Nintendo I need a plushie of her yesterday. Come on. Please... I need one...

I shall leave my partner rankings as well, i wonder if I got any hot takes or not...

6. Flurrie.

No. Just... no I don't like her. Her design creeps me out, I don't give a shit about her moves. I never used her. Get her away from me.

5. Goombella.

Although very cute I found her more of a hindrance and i kept going, "ugh I gotta swap to her to get the tattle..." At least her design and personality are cute. Plus, she's more useful than that creepy ass Flurrie....

4. Koops.

I like him! He helped me out a LOTTT in the final battle, his later moves that you can unlock make him pretty damn good. Although I am jealous that this wimp has a girlfriend....

3. Admiral Bobbey.

Honestly I think the reason why he might be this high is because of his story. I really felt bad for him... his design is also killer, I LOVEEEE Bob-ombs so much!

2. Mini-Yoshi.

The fact that you can name him is really funny to me idk why. He's got some very helpful moves and his ability to help you move faster in the overworld is really nice. I like how he calls you Gonzalez too. What a fun character man.

1. Vivian.

I already said why I like her earlier but I'll go on further.

I LOVE HER STORYLINE TOO!!! I LOVE HER DESIGN!!! I LOVE HOW SHE'S TRANS AND THE REMAKE DIDN'T GET RID OF IT LIKE HOW THE ORIGINAL NORTH AMERICAN AND EUROPEAN RELEASES OF THE GAMECUBE VERSION GOT RID OF IT!!!

God.... I love her. I wanna kiss her on the cheek. She's so cute. Her moveset too is fire!.... wait..

Also btw I didn't know that this RATTTT was an optional party member... oops...