#i must keep this energy up til the 23 or 24

[steelthroat]

Having fun is... well- fun

However It's also tiring, and having fun for almost a month straight is VERY tiring AND draining.

So, as weird ad it sounds: I can't wait to stop having fun soon...

[writer1queenjaysblog]

More yandere 4town!!!

•Robaire is a hopeless Romantic who dared to go the extra Mile for his darling.

•He would never let her out of his sight. He would keep her closer to him and won't let anyone near her including his exs who dumped him because they said he and his band won't blow up now they're looking dumb because he made it.

• Loves looking at her when she sleeps, awake, shopping you name it. He also stalks her 24/7 not letting her out of his sight in public.

•Will sex her so good she can't form a word and he loves it. Will rail her none stop until he's positive she's unable to walk meaning she can't run away or escape from him.

•If she escaped he'll track her down and bring her home manipulated her with "Mon amour come home please I'm sorry I just love you that I don't wanna lose you." Or "Darling please..don't go please come home I'll die without you by my side. " And if that doesn't work he'll drag her somewhere and threatened to end their lives together smiling and speaking softly and sweetly "Do you hate me mon amour? " "If I made your life hell..then let's end it here you and me in death together ~." "I'll drag you down with me as we fall off this bridge together no one will separate us if we're dead baby."

•He said this with this his eyes wide smiling at her normal as he clutch her hand hard and roughly looking in her eyes "No..NO! Are you insane?!" He'll respond by smiling then gently caressing her cheek "Yes..yes I am mon amour I'm crazy about you."

•After that she doesn't leave him and he takes her with him on tour and if she tries to leave again he'll say things like "You must want to be with me for eternity because I will end us Romeo and Juliette you & me dead together is that how you want us to go mon amour..at the age of 21 to 23?" He's obsessed with Romeo and Juliette so much since he was a boy and he once said at 7 that if he and his lover would to die it would be together like them he won't hesitate to go through with his childhood obsession at 23 years old.

•If his darling is with someone who made her uncomfortable he'd confront them whether she's there or not. He'll say things her keep her from leaving him "Mon amour you know I love you I'd do anything for you." Or "Baby I would never leave you I'll keep you forever. "

• I can't stress this enough how good he is in bed. Like he watches p*on to get ideas and they always work plus be comes up with ideas on his own.

•Choking, gagging, spanking, top/Dom

•Big d*ck energy on strong 💪 😤. Won't get her pregnant with his bre33ding kink unless she's wants to walk around with a big belly carrying h I s C h i l d r e n! Definitely will do it when she's pregnant but not too hard or rough unless she said so.

•Will mention her in interviews saying things like "Yes she's my w i f e." "My beautiful wife. " "my sexy baby mama." Will wait til the baby is born and will name it with her and will keep his baby from the public eye.

If it's a boy Robaire Jr

If it's a girl Rosetta

That's it guys Jesse is next

[eternalfaithinhislove]

E N E R G Y

God is our source of life, of energy, of everything. One of my favorite songs illustrates this fact perfectly. It’s [literally] called energy by Hillsong Young & Free. So, I decided to meditate on each lyric. . .

You are the only one in my head

God IS the Only God and should be the Only One we honor and adore. He constantly fills my head, I’m sure He’s always on your mind too, and for all His people.

i've chosen You now my heart is set

We as believers have already decided to follow Jesus. Our hearts and minds are made up; there’s no indecisiveness and nothing will change our minds.

“‘But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.’” (Joshua 24:15)

Your love forever and is my strength, my strength more than a rush of adrenaline

Our strength in God is unfailing and never-ending. It’s a powerful feeling (adrenaline rush) knowing He is with us and we gain confidence in knowing He won’t let us be overcome. For HE has overcome it all!

“The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. This is my God, and I will praise him—  my father’s God, and I will exalt him!” (Exodus 15:2)

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.” (Psalm 136:1)

You will sustain me until the end

Our God is a just, unchanging God. He will remain the same, so He’s not going to help us and loves us one day but not the next. When we believe and trust in Him not only do we have nothing to fear, but He will always be with us and sustain us.

You are the only one

God is the ONLY ONE who can make our dreams come true!

You are the only one

God is the ONLY ONE who will always be there; who will always help us; who will always rescue us through everything that comes our way.

when You speak dreams and reality collide

God knows us better than anyone—than ourselves even. So He knows our dreams, goals, and Purpose—He created each of us and gave us these aspirations for a reason and He will help us achieve them when we ask and believe in prayer.

“And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” (Matthew 21:22)

“‘We both had dreams,’ they answered, ‘but there is no one to interpret them.’ Then Joseph said to them, ‘Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell me your dreams.’” (Genesis 40:8)

Your Word rewrites my destiny

God is our Creator and The Author of our whole lives. When we pray, He hears. Whatever we choose or do, He will guide. He will also correct us when we ask Him to show us the way.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)

my life finds a new beginning

We are born again in Jesus. When we are baptized we receive His Spirit. We are revitalized by spending time in His Word and in prayer.

“Jesus answered him, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.’ Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?’ Jesus answered, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.’” (John 3:3-8)

cause You are, You are my energy

I can’t do anything without God. I go to Him for everything. I can do all things with Him and nothing without Him.

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Jesus Your Presence is what ignites

Your truth is electric, the source of light

Jesus IS our light!

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” (John 14:6)

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)

a moment with You makes me come alive, alive

Every time we read and meditate [on] The Word of God, we are truly alive. So it is when we go to church and worship Him. His Word comes alive and makes us be truly alive. Not just our earthly vessels but our very souls.

We are alive through and because of Jesus Christ.

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)

when You speak dreams and reality collide

When we turn to God and ask for something according to His Will, He will make it come to pass.

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11)

“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” (James 1:17)

Your Word rewrites my destiny

Jesus saves us all. No one is too far gone that He can’t or won’t save; the moment you truly believe and give your heart to Him your Savior already paid the debt you owed with His Blood! He’s given us the destiny of saved!

He tells us that what we ask for in His name will be given for us but we must not doubt. For He holds our destiny. Of whom shall we be afraid then?

“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matthew 10:28)

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11)

my life finds a new beginning

Our new birth [in Jesus] is a bond that can never be broken. It’s not just words and water—It’s a connection to our Lord who saved us from all our sins. Our baptism connects us to the life our Redeemer died to give us; it brings us victory in HIM.

“And I remembered the word of the Lord, how he said, ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.’” (Acts 11:16)

“for you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring word of God.” (1 Peter 1:23)

cause You are, You are my energy

My faith in Jesus is what motivates me every day! Without it I wouldn’t just be energized—I’d have nothing.

Jesus, You're everything I need and more

Jesus has saved us and given us e v e r y t h i n g! What more will we ever need or want? Our God provides us with all we could ever need and want.

"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

We will never need more than Jesus! Ever. He IS more than enough!

“The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need.” (Psalm 23:1)

I'll follow You 'til the end

I can see people who don’t believe, begin to but I can’t imagine a believer ever stop believing. We might get mad or frustrated at God but to completely lose faith? That’s hard for me to picture. I will follow Him to the end!

You are my strength

Jesus is my strength in every situation. Whether I need a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold or to pull me up—He is there! Always.

Jesus, You're everything I need and more

The Lord will always provide for us. Our Father will not only fulfill our every need but He wants to—and does—bless us abundantly. We must believe and remember this for all our days.

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11)

You are, You are my energy

Jesus is my energy because He’s what makes me the happiest. The Only One who can always make me smile.

You're the everlasting God

You're the One who holds it all

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary or tired His understanding is inscrutable.” (Isaiah 40:28)

God created everything out of nothing. HE is THEE CREATOR, He is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. This is far outside human understanding but that a great thing. It means there is no one and nothing like God.

God can make anything happen!

“For there is nothing that God cannot do.” (Luke 1:37)

I can't help but stand in awe

God is so awesome, so miraculous and so merciful filled with unfailing grace and love unending that how could we not stand in awe? The Bible often tells us to have awe-inspired or awe-filled reverence (honor, respect) for and fear of GOD.

“Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe, and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles.” (Acts 2:43)

You are my energy

Everything God has done for me makes me so happy it energizes me to my very core!

You're the everlasting God

You're the One who holds it all

I can't help but stand in awe

What God has made—nothing and no one can change. God is in control of everything and nothing will keep Him from us or us from Him.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

“The LORD will vindicate me; your love, LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands.” (Psalm 138:8)

So, how could we not stand in awe?!

You are my energy

By being baptized in His Holy Name, we’re blessed with The Spirit [of GOD]—what could ever fill us with more joy and energy?!

“Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’” (Matthew 28:18-20)

He gave to us also the authority to make disciples in His Name.

when You speak dreams and reality collide

Your Word rewrites my destiny

Jesus re-wrote each of our destinies on the cross. His blood redeemed us all.

“But now in Christ Jesus, you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.” (Ephesians 2:13)

my life finds a new beginning

We are new in Christ. 

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)

cause You are, You are my energy

God will remain the same forever and so will His Word and His Promises. How cool and exciting is that?! To know God won't let us down, ever. This gives us total energy and confidence!

But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. (Psalm 33:11)

Jesus, you're everything I need and more

Jesus is all we need. He is The Way, The Truth, and The Life!

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” (John 14:6-8)

I'll follow you 'til the end You are my strength

When the disciples followed Jesus He left them—and us—with a promise:

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20)

Jesus, You're everything I need and more

Philippians 4:19-20 literally states: “And my God will fully supply your every need according to his glorious riches in the Messiah Jesus. Glory belongs to our God and Father forever and ever! Amen.”

Jesus came in order to give us everything!

“‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’” (John 10:10)

You are, You are my energy

God gives me my every heartbeat, He is my heartbeat.

You are my energy

Our God is the one who gives our lives meaning and joy; this is what gives us energy—Spiritually energy and He enables us to carry on.

[maraudersmessrs]

Remus Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban--- Chapter 34: Recovering From Recovery

Ao3 link

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16 / Chapter 17 / Chapter 18 / Chapter 19 / Chapter 20 / Chapter 21 / Chapter 22 / Chapter 23 / Chapter 24 / Chapter 25 / Chapter 26 / Chapter 27 / Chapter 28 / Chapter 29 / Chapter 30 / Chapter 31 / Chapter 32 / Chapter 33 / Chapter 34

(Warning: another graphic description of the Change)

True to his word, he sheepishly made his way to the Hospital Wing after dinner, with more difficulty than it really should have taken which only drove home the fact that she was right and he was wrong, yes, thank you, he got the point.

Luckily, Poppy reported that Severus had agreed to bring the Relaxation Draught along with that day’s Wolfsbane potion, which, at least, relieved the worry that he would have to approach Severus in his own territory. Which was something that he had often made Remus do, claiming to have too much work to make a delivery--which may or may not have been true, though the truth was, not much could make an interaction with the man pleasant. It was just that, this month, he wasn’t sure his knees and flagging energy could make repeated journeys into the dungeon. After a quick once over, a vile tasting green potion for inflammation, and a short lecture that was full of words like ‘irresponsible’ and ‘function’ and ‘idiot boy’, he was released to ‘sleep, dammit.’ Which--to his credit, he thought--he obediently did.

Unfortunately, it didn’t help as much as it ought. The morning of the full moon dawned bitterly cold and merciless and it didn’t improve as the day wore on, nettling his joints with tiny glass needles that, when they weren’t stabbing, crumbled into some grating gravel that seemed to get stuck in the cracks and throb like nasty little embers. Grading was listless work, wrapped in his blanket at his desk and he often came back to himself staring out the window or into the flames in his fireplace while his hands resonated with a dull ache holding his quill. There wasn’t really an emotion that he could assign himself past ‘tired.’ Sleep was calling him but he knew this feeling, knew the muzzy twinge behind his eyes would grow into a pounding fog that would blur his thoughts for the rest of the day, rendering him utterly useless. He sighed and flexed his fingers, wincing as at least 7 different joints popped and pushed back from his desk. The intention had been to stand, but, instead, he sank further down into the blanket like some sort of turtle and found that, at present, he lacked any sort of motivation to go anywhere at all. He knew this was lazy and that he should be working. This knowledge bounced off him like a defective bludger.

A sharp rap came from the door. For a fleeting moment, he considered not answering, but, instead, straightened up with a more impressive crack from his spine, tried to look responsible--or at least awake--and called, “Come in.”

Snape opened the door, sour look evolving into a sneer when he saw him bundled up. “Aren’t we cozy.”

“Good afternoon, Severus.”

“I see you can’t be bothered to move yourself and that you need things handed to you like a child,” he continued as if Remus hadn’t spoken and thunked a goblet and a small corked vial on top of the stack of parchments. A small slosh of potion dribbled down the side and seeped into the essay on top.

For a moment, Remus simply looked at him blandly. Then, he said, “Yes.”

Snape scowled. “What?”

“Yes, you’re right. That’s what I’m doing.”

His scowl deepened in irritation, but he seemed unprepared for such a response. Instead, he shot a contemptuous glance around the room, tutted as if disgusted and stalked out. Well, you live in a dungeon so I’m not sure what you’re criticizing, his internal James voice muttered, which he ignored and set about to cleaning off the essay, belonging to Cho Chang. Unfortunately, he was able to take the liquid out but unable to repair the blotted ink. Scrawling a quick apology and an assurance that he could still read it on the bottom of her page, he reflected that he was lucky that what seemed the most effective course of action to ruin Snape’s fun and encourage him to leave was also the one the required the least amount of effort on his part; he would have to remember that one. 

The Wolfsbane was absolutely repulsive, as usual, and he counted his lucky stars that Poppy’s anti-nausea serum worked so well or else he felt he would never be able to keep it down. After a few minutes, he also downed the clear vial Severus had left, hoping in a vague way that it was the Relaxation Draught and that the intent was for him to drink the whole thing and Severus had not conveniently forgotten to mention some sort of dosage size. It felt oddly...gelatinous and carried a strong taste of licorice, that meshed unfortunately with the meat-and-garbage flavor of the Wolfsbane. Successfully motivated, he rose and made his way back to his bedroom to hurriedly knock back another dose of said anti-nausea to head off the growing feelings of unease that were beginning to roil in his stomach, just in case. He doubted either potion would be effective if they came back up.

For a moment, it occurred to him to worry about possible interactions between all these potions, but then, a curious sensation began seeping through him, as if his shoulders dropped 2 inches, tension melting from his scalp and jaw, his neck, his spine. It was like a warm honey was slowly being poured over him. It was enough to make him sit heavily on his bed, glad he hadn’t been in the middle of actually going somewhere when it hit, for now he felt distinctly boneless and almost forcibly relaxed. In fact, the weariness that had permeated him all day now had no tension to battle against and suggested, quite reasonably, that perhaps it was easier to lay back instead of struggling to stay upright. Remus supposed this was true and sank back. He thought mournfully about the blanket he had left on his chair….

A sharp, vicious, and unpleasantly familiar stab in his stomach bolted him upright with a hiss of pain. Darkness lay over the room. For a moment, bewilderment gave him a distinctly displaced feeling, as if he had slipped out of time with no anchor as to when he popped back up. A small, but growing wave of panic was building deep within him; what time was it? When was moonrise? He began to fumble for his watch when another searing wrench doubled him over, leaving him gasping. Now. It’s NOW.

Lurching to his feet, he made for the door--don’t want to Change in here, it’s small, a safe place, a resting place--but the combination of pain and Relaxation Draught brought him to his knees, permanently. Something snapped, muted, wet. His breath was coming fast and harsh. It was like some sort of unrest before the storm, the beast within him unsure what this new, unfamiliar lack of tension was. Testing the waters. Then, the agony seized him, crushing and flaying and burning mindlessly. But slowly. Where each rip was usually sharp, it was now a long, languid tear, each bone bending, splintering, cracking before the break. A slow torture. Don’t scream, didn’t ward door, don’t-- Teeth clamped, viselike. Throat shredding. Copper on the tongue.

There was a pressure, a pulling. Everywhere clothes touched seared like acid. Insides liquifying. Endless. No sight. Was there screaming? Can’t hear. Twisting, gouging, peeling.. No floor, no anchor, just pain. Forever….

Flamed out eternity later, shuddering on the floor. Tangled in clothes misshapen, squeezing, half shredded. Panting, he unsteadily gathered his legs under him, splayed wide like a colt learning to walk. Still throbbed; it always did. Just when it began to fade, dawn would come...but long way away, now. Headache was still there. He had never been surprised like that; it was unbalancing, unsettling--he hated it. He shook himself ineffectively, pawed and wiggled and stretched and twisted until the clothes--or remains of them--were on the floor and not him. This induced relaxation was pairing with the after-Change ache and exhaustion like a particularly nasty wine; It was all he could do to clamber up onto the bed, collapse diagonally, ears laid flat. He couldn’t go out into the office, he wouldn’t. There had been no time to lock and ward the door and he was not safe, he was never safe, he was the monster and the rest of the castle was beyond that door, everyone he loved anymore. 2 doors would have to do. Exhaustion weighed down his edges and sleep did the rest.

As he lay curled up in the weak dawn light and wheezing after the pain Change back smacked him from unconsciousness for the second time in 24 hours was receding, Poppy slowly opened the door to his bedroom, looking white and shaken. More important than a greeting, something else had to come first. “We’re not doing that again, Poppy,” he slurred wearily.

She was silent a moment before saying, quietly, “Alright, Remus.”

There was a pause, as if she expected him to respond or elaborate but he was utterly wrung out, nothing but pain and breath strung tenuously together. “It’s much later than it should be,” she said just as softly as before. “I came to see how you faired with the new regimen and when I came in while you still were….” Trailing off, her mouth grew quite thin and she stared at a spot to the left of him, sightlessly. “I waited out in your office, til it was...quiet....I don’t think any of us actually can grasp what you go through, now, after seeing you Change. I don’t think we understand at all.” She paused again, for just a moment, watching him but he could offer nothing in response.

Moving measuredly, she sat next to him, feather-light touches briefly prodding, shifting, checking. It still hurt, but he would never let her know that. She smelled like soap and something warm. “It must have been the Relaxation Draught, maybe paired with your own overwork, but you should have been Changed back half an hour ago. Did it take you this long to Change last night?”

Remus made a vague, hoarse sound he hoped she took for affirmation.

“That must have been it--hsst,” she drew in a sharp breath through her teeth, gently pulling his right forearm out to see. It was smeared a brown-rust, an irregular crescent splitting the skin. The tang of it still lingered in his mouth and he grimaced.

Poppy cleaned it and his arm with a wordless spell and wrapped it with clean gauze produced from one of her many pockets, muttering “I hate that I can’t heal werewolf wounds. I hate it. What good is magic if it can’t help everybody?” She finished with a sigh, retrieved his pillow and tucked it beneath his head, and summoned his blanket from the office chair to drape over him. “Sleep now, love.”

“Been sleeping,” he mumbled.

“Probably because you needed it. I’ll let Dumbledore know to find someone to cover your classes.”

“No, I--” he tried to sit up, but only managed to twist his shoulders uncomfortably, to which Poppy only tucked him in more firmly.

“Rest. Remus.”

Despite the warning in her voice, he felt a hand stroke his hair. Everything, including his scalp, still hurt as if it had been unzipped and dragged through a ringer, but the brush of her hand rolled a wave of relaxation through him nonetheless, some sort of childhood response of soothing. It had been more than a decade since anyone had done so--had it been his mother? Da? Before the War, then. Despite every hair follicle complaining, his eyelids drooped lower with each smoothing motion until sleep, the hungry beast that it was, swallowed him.

It had taken him a full 2 days and a Pepper Up potion to recover and return to a somewhat regular sleep schedule, just in time for another boggart lesson with Harry. As much as he hated to laze about in bed, he was grateful for the respite for it allowed him to actually function as a human adult. Well...not human, but as near as he could manage. It had taken him a full day to actually leave bed, and when he had, he noticed there was a light layer of wolf fur dusted across the sheets from where he had lain during the Change. Repulsed, he’d used his new, unsteady energy to tear them from his bed and stuff them in the trash. When he had returned from breakfast, they were gone, fresh, dark green sheets tucked neatly in. It was not often that he thought of how much House Elves did around the castle, but that day, he made sure to make his way down to the kitchens and drop a quick word of thanks that they graciously rejected as just doing their duty. He resolved to do so more often.

Physically, he was on the mend. His headache had persisted, a low-grade angry cotton feeling, but it wasn’t too bad, comparatively, though his recovery time was not at all what he had come to expect from the Wolfsbane potion. Both Poppy and he had firmly agreed that the Draught had been a mistake, one they would not repeat. It had been a more physically and mentally jarring Change than he had had in a while and it had taken a lot more out of him than he had anticipated. Though he had been forced to admit that he hadn’t been taking care in how much he did and how close to the full moon he did it, he was anxiously waiting reentering castle life. Harry’s lesson was the first step.

The boy seemed a bit wary of him when he first walked in--probably still thinking of the sharp response to his question about Sirius, as he was--so Remus made sure to smile broadly at him, taking the chance to half-sit on a desk as Harry was, conserving what little energy he could. “Hello, Harry. How has your day treated you?”

The boy shrugged amiably, then stifled a yawn on the back of his arm, “Long. I’ve got Quidditch practice most days, so a lot in the evenings. Oliver’s running us ragged.”

“Aiming for the Cup, I take it?”

His face split into a grin, “Always.” Oddly, he glanced at Remus’ face a bit furtively, then down at the leg of the desk the boggart’s case rested on. “I, er, wanted to say sorry if I upset you, y’know, last week.”

Remus was already shaking his head. Kind boy. Relief and warm affection washed through him; all was not lost, despite all else, he hadn’t ruined their time together. “Think nothing of it, Harry. I’m sorry I got terse; it...surprised me and I was quite tired.”

“Me too...I wish I was learning faster,” he said, an irate look passing over his face.

Remus laughed. Lily had been the exact same way when she wasn’t a prodigy the first time she tried a spell, despite the reassurances that she was near the top of her class--though Harry didn’t hold that title, his drive was obviously just as keen. “I’ve told you, Harry, this is an incredibly advanced spell. If it makes you feel better, you’re catching on faster than I did when I first learned it.”

His looked up at him in surprise, dark eyebrows raising. “Really?”

“Yes, it took me weeks to produce anything at all, and that wasn’t even with the effects of the Dementors on me.”

Harry looked a bit heartened by the information. “Where did you learn it?”

“Oh,” Remus said airily, turning to unlock the case. “An old Auror friend. There were more Dementors, er, free range back then.”

“Oh,” Harry looked dubious. “That sounds horrible.”

“It wasn’t pleasant,” He admitted, then diverted, “Are you ready to start?”

Harry nodded, sliding off the desk and drawing his wand unprompted. “Yeah, I suppose we should. I’m ready.”

“I’ve brought plenty of chocolate frogs and another premium Honeyduke’s bar, so at least we have that to look forward to.”

The boy nodded again, steel already in his eyes as he held his arms up in a ready pose. “Alright.”

[shytiff]

July 2021

1 - the toners i bought from sociolla arrived yay. loll i got into portal’s hall of fame somehow. usual day at magang. slowww progress of that sympo 1 ppt hhh. went back home and its raininggg yall. this week my hygiene habits and isya prayer was screwed. i cant bring myself to DOOOO things. i basically only get stuff done outside.

2 - started 2nd ppt (i know!!! super slow aaaaa). bought dough lab OG cookies and cookie monster since it was discounted at grab’s PI outlet. bought matcha mcflurry w juan when going back to AR. ate roti canai, the whole mcflurry, and tried the cookies. the sugar, bruh. all this time, im not lacking energy. im lacking sugar lol. watched two set and played marapets lol

3 - binged twoset violin. cant bring myself to do ppt. Finally managed at night.

4 - dayslept. Not sleepy but cant bring myself to do anything. Supernova technical meeting at 1 pm and some gmeet with iship wa group and suddenly its maghrib,,, did like 2 slides of ppt

5 - went to post office to get str and arrived 8 sharp. No one was there. Anjeng. They said wait until 9. went to tax office. Closed. Off to rscm. Ugh the traffic!? Surprise of kiara "internship" that on the very same day was cancelled

6 - its a struggle to reach rscm ugh. tried to go through sudirman but the toll exit was closed. so we went through tebet. gajah 2 was also sealed. while waiting for juan i bought snacks in indomaret. lol, got no cash. liqo with kak kartika and fell asleep halfway through lol,,,

7 - this time we’re going through kemayoran lmao and exited the toll at rawamangun. bought saladstop caesar salad just bcss they have this collapsible bowl bundling, together 140k (after added grab promo) lool. 

8 - today i didnot went to gastro since its off day due to a gastro staff getting covid. went to RSF for operan with dr dedes. took pictures with dr vera and we made heart using hand lmaooooo my koas soul felt scared doing that. tried the sushi mom bought at lotte mart. she also bought milk buns and it was good! like a marriage between bread and mochi. my stomach felt super bloated to a point where it hurts so i ate paldo wet ramyeon except i put too much water and the seasoning was diluted. 

9 - im supposed to do ppt but i cant bring myself to do it. i lazed in my bed literally all day. bingeing two set. reading webtoon. playing marapets. felt like utter shit. thought that id start my day after maghrib but nah. ended up sleeping

10 - still feel like shit and cant bring myself to start my day. And didnt do anything lmaoo

11 - cant bring myself to start my day~ ended up starting work like after maghrib. Its more difficult with things where u actually have to think bcs u need a certain headspace. Got sbux matcha and that shit rly helps me feel "normal".

12 - intern as usual. The 4 ppts are "finished" and i contacted the prof after mustering some strength. Zoom call with prof to check on the ppt. Bought a delicious es jeruk somewhere along the way to AR. Talked to mom abt picking wahana. The list was finally out and it was jakarta fair. Ara called, her grandpa passed away and shes afraid to go back and potentially harming her familys health. Showered but slept right after without doing anything meaningful 😔

13 - today is the 2nd "special batch" of internship idi. Followed along the war as a practice time. Theres a lot of vacant spots. And that scared us wanting to go national lol. I hope everything will be fine. Another zoom call with Prof, ughh theres so much to reviseeeeeee and i havent made any word material

14 - its only nessa and me today at dept. Picked rs krakatau medika together w nessa. Clara told me abt how her mother is sometimes toxic. Cant rly focus on work today bcs of internship stuff. Had headache ec lack of sleep that lasted from 2-6 pm. Immediately slept like a log after isya

15 - turns out nessa also want to pick rskm loll that makes 7 ui peeps in rskm. Did some good progress by alienating myself in Prof's cubicle. Moral message: whatever time you think youd make the ppt, it will be more. Bought martabak tipker orins yum. Its like lekker on steroids. I still prefer martabak pizza more.

16 - did 1 word for the ppt. Bought jco donuts w nessa bcs my mouth was lonely. Sent 1 completed topic to Prof and pamit.

17 - cant bring myself to do anything~ felt like shit~ played marapets and watched tiktok and youtube

18 - pembekalan iship today

19 - more pembekalan iship. Medical checkup today at labkesda. Met nessa mendel adita regen clara agung. Ate kfc together at nessas place. Went to dinkes jakbar for sppd. No ppt progress aaaaaa

20 - packed my stuff. Originally planned ti leave at 2 pm but theres a lot of uncertainty so i decided to leave tomorrow. The real certainty came at like 9 pm.

21 - off to cilegon 05:30 ish. Filled the gas. Arrived 07:15. Moved my stuff. Went to pkm with mom et al and ness mendel. Swab. Back to palm wates. I felt sad when mom had to leave. She must be tired, but she keeps supporting me with everything that she has. I know its always been like that but sometimes distance makes you see things (?) maybe its bcs im outside ar right now. Bought food. Printed stuff at a place 600m away. Did ppt work accompanied by mocca goodday (that i just knew was good lmao)

22 - zoom orientation today. Still managed to laze out and not do my work -___- tri was out so i was alone. Ate gold chick for brunch. That stuff is oil mixed with food. Finally did some work. The night orientation with dr Selfie was pretty shocking, but it was rly informative and i think she did it out of love.

23 - puskes 1st day. Orientation and turns iut we headed straight to poli lol. Had my very first poli umum with the kind dr arief. My first patient had bee sting :) the second was breast lump :) its rly a slap in my face to go study. Stayed in nessa's for a bit to do some work, except i felt rly tired and gave up at like 4 pm. Bought kebab around the corner (15k). Unremarkable. Kanayam for dinner, w some for breakfast 2mrw

24 - slept early so i woke up early. Tri also. We did some working at like 3 am til subuh. Poli was not too crowded since it was saturday. Helped mendel irrigate his ear in the puskes ER. Waited out the 2 pm standby. We ended up driving to merak except for esa lol. Bought kanayam again lol. Ended up sleeping early again

25 - nasi uduk 88 for breakfast. Some ppt work. my family came bringing motor hehe. Moved to mess. Met dr Ine. Learned how to use washing maching. More ppt work. Bought nasgor just in front of the mess

26 - vaccine post today. Zoom with IDI cilegon. Nessa cooked macaroni and meat. Talked a bit and then suddenly its half past 10. No significant ppt progress today. Im rly sorry Prof 😭😭😭

27 - MTBS poli today. Bu ningrum gave me cimol and jantung pisang and sayur and salad buah hehee. Some orientation. Did the last ppt for Prof. Can finally rest (??) nah the words still not finished. Overall mood today: ☺️

28 - poli usila today in bp with mendel. Injected mendel with his 3rd sinovac. Went to dinkes for SPPD.

29 - vaksin with mendel. lots of patients. porridge for bfast. talked about love life lmaoo. tried sate bebek h. syafei. quite good but sate klathak still holds the first place in my heart. finished the 3rd word doc and sent it. just as i was about to sleep, i saw the notif of jk going live. hes basically dancing around in his pjs at 1 am lmaoo <3

30 - paldo jajangmen for bfast. BP. shoot a video for e-promkesline. soto for lunch. bought kopi soe goela merah and croffle. the croffle was not as hard and crunchy and thick as social affair’s. the choco-nut topping was so so. the coffee was bitter like tuku, but not as smooth and creamy (?), not too acidic. did ppt of ecmocard data an hour before the zoom sesh.

31 - vaccine with dr anggi. went back early. bought some stuff in indomaret. lunch was abon, rice and leftover veggies. finished the last word manuscript for Prof along with kopi soe and sent it. vcalled w mom. had simba pillow mixed with sport muesli for dinner. 

[galpalkirk]

long commentary incoming of each song on this playlist:

1. Permanent marker - the version from this video is SO different from the one I used to listen to back in 2008 which i think was a live version because i distinctly remember the audience reaction coming in at the end of it and it definitely had more energy than this demo version which is… not as good

2. I’d lie - SLAPS. Next question.

3. Battle - HELLO?????? I’ve never heard this before but oh my god with some actual good production behind it this could slap

4. I heart ? - SLAPS. another one i had downloaded back in 2008 but oh my god the drawl in this one is everything, she’d have to dig up that fake accent again to redo it

5. Lucky you - isn’t this the first song she ever wrote, what the fuck… she is 12. her authorial voice has always been so distinct i can easily pick out pieces of this that are so taylor.

6. Tennesse - ”Green was the color of the grass where I used to read at Centennial Park” anyone?

7. That’s life - ”One morning does it all add up? Or am I just standing on the edge of crazy?” girl you must be like 14 at most calm down 😭

8. Matches - i wish the recording was better because i have no idea what she’s saying but she’s serving attitude, okay genius lyrics coming through oh my god ”Ain't it funny, you said honey, you meant sitting duck, well I say cheater, liar, loser, leaver, deceiver, just a few I’ve thought of, so when love hands me matches now, I’m gonna burn it down” screeeaaam

9. Til brad pitt comes along - LMAOOO

10. Breathless - sweet, the chorus with those harmonies could be made really good in a clear recording

11. White Blank Page - this one is a cover and from the wrong era but holy shit

12. I wished on a plane - the people who would accuse her of not writing her own songs are only correct in their estimation that it’s insane a child would have written any of these songs

13. Dizzy - hello???? pop girl. this isn’t actually taylor swift though

14. Check out this view - some of these are weird to listen to because this is basically a teenager practicing guitar

15. Smokey black nights - lmao google the cd cover for this demo cd she apparently made

16. Who I’ve always been - go off baby taylor

17. Your anything - SLAPS. this is another one i used to have downloaded back in 2008 yelling I COULD BE YOUR FAVORITE BLUE JEANS WITH THE HOLES IN THE KNEES IN THE BOTTOM OF THE TOP DRAWER

18. Baby don’t you break my heart slow - this one is another classic from 2008 for me oh my god

19. Timeless (Lottery) - this is literally not taylor swift

20. More than gravity - this is literally not taylor swift either

21. Gracie - ah shit :((

22. One way ticket - this sure is a 12 year old, also a cover

23. Spinning around - can’t even remember when i heard this but i recognize the chorus (apparently there’s a clip of her singing this in the fearless tour dvd)

24. Can I go with you? - aw hell

25. Tell me - classic taylor

26. American girl - this is another cover

27. Sorry - this literally isn’t taylor either why do people keep trying to attribute songs to her hsnfvdjsks

28. My turn to be me - also classic taylor, baby’s first cool girl monologue

29. Tim McGraw - okay so this is the original demo, I’ve heard it before but all I’ll say is PUT THE ”DAMN” BACK

30. Animal - this is another cover but okay go off

seriously she gotta put ”I’d lie” on self titled tv

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Venus enters Scorpio

November 7 - December 1, 2017

During my secluded rural youth, we knew of only one color of topazt:

Now that Mars and Mercury have entered their detriment signs (Libra and Sagittarius, respectively), it’s Venus’ turn! Astrologer Isabel Hickey wrote, “Venus in Scorpio or in Aries is not happily placed for the animal self (Mars) overpowers Venus.” Later on (in her book Astrology: A Cosmic Science) she elaborated, “Venus cannot function well in a domain ruled by Mars, for Mars is everything that is aggressive, forceful, and outgoing, while Venus draws to herself through the power of love. She represents the attraction principle while Mars represents the repulsion principle.”

In other (and less potentially insulting) words, Venus’ main “job” of attraction malfunctions in the Mars signs, in which actively going after what we want is the task. Similarly, Mars (how we assert ourselves based on getting what we want) isn’t comfortable in Venus signs, where it must lie back on a divan and allow things to happen.

We also need to keep in mind that Venus is still in her “Lucifer-direct” phase - i.e., she’s placed earlier in the Zodiac than the Sun. That position makes her desirous of covering up her true feelings, in order to fit in better - and right away we see how that could go awry in resentful, vengeful Scorpio. Our ability to “shrug off” disappointment is still there, just more difficult to perform.

Venus in Lucifer-direct mode is also highly idealistic. People with this natal placement (raises hand) “are often involved in promoting new values, ideals, outlooks and ways of life created or exemplified by others.” (Michael R. Meyers, link here.) Look at my beloved Keith Richards, who basically infused himself with Chuck Berry guitar riffs! Unfortunately, this idealism when filtered through Scorpio will give us an “all or nothing” attitude - which is an impractical way to navigate through life.

How will this affect the typical Venusian domains of money, beauty and artistic expression, relaxation, and romance? The transit lasts only 25 days, which doesn’t seem like enough time for a lot of damage. The danger would be more in having a kind of “scorched earth” tantrum - in the heat of the moment, destroying everything.

Money: Scorpio isn’t the kind of sign that spends lavishly. I don’t think we’ll be in any hurry to start the holiday gift shopping, much less go overboard with it.

Beauty: This transit is actually perfect timing for a makeover!

Arts: Also will benefit, from the deepened and intensified emotions. We don’t want lightweight, flimsy music (for example), we want full blast. (My own favorite way to purge myself is loud music.)

Relaxation: This is difficult when the Scorpionic refusal to let go blends with the Venus tendency to hang on. It’s almost as if we don’t trust ourselves or the world enough to ever relax. (Is this Alastor Moody’s natal Venus, I wonder?)

Relationships: Perhaps some pressure to commit before we really want to, or to “prove it.” Grrr. This isn’t a very manipulative sign, but it can go to extremes. On the other hand, if everyone is ready for the next step….

Celebrities with Venus in Scorpio: KEITH RICHARDS, Leonardo Di Caprio, Jodie Foster, Mahatma Gandhi, Bill Gates, Vladimir Putin, Jay-Z, Jim Morrison, Bruce Lee, Drake, Hugh Jackman, Snoop Dogg, Steven Spielberg, Marie Curie, Denzel Washington, Marie Antoinette, Ava Gardner, Gordon Ramsay, Serena Williams, Ralph Fiennes, Sigourney Weaver, Agatha Christie, Paul Klee, Martin Scorsese, Voltaire, Patti Smith, Neil Young

Wednesday, November 8, Pallas Rx/Taurus opposite Venus/Scorpio, 2:06

This is especially directed toward our artistic self-expression, if we have any. If we don’t feel we have the “right” mentors, this could bring about the “scorched earth tantrum” I warned about. On the other hand, if we’re pursuing an artistic path that isn’t right for us - it happens - this opposition may give us the nudge we need to change course. With so many of these Venus/Scorpio transiting aspects, the Moon involves herself (butts in?); the potential impasse may arrive on the 9th, when Moon/Leo turns this into a very temporary fixed t-square.

Planets/Points affected lie between 1:06 and 3:06 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*; and between 16:06 and 18:06 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*.

Monday, November 13, Jupiter/Scorpio conjunct Venus/Scorpio, 7:20

Well, gosh, this is just about the Holy Grail, isn’t it?! The one aspect we all crave! If it’s affecting you, do enjoy the good vibes; if it’s goading you, well, control yourself - the vibes will fade all too soon. The day before this conjunction matures finds a supportive Virgo Moon sextiling both planets - a memorably good time with friends, perhaps.

Planets/Points affected lie between 6:20 and 8:20 of the signs Taurus*, Cancer, Leo*, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius*, and Pisces.

Thursday, November 16, Neptune Rx/Pisces trine Venus/Scorpio, 11:28

I really prefer this trine to that conjunction - even with the addition of unrealistic and lazy attitudes. “Issie” wrote about this natal aspect, “Neptune does not operate directly on the physical plane, so this aspect is not much help materially. A spiritual blessing not always recognized by individual to whom material things are important.” All of our Venusian efforts - art, beauty, relationships - are elevated and sanctified by Neptune. This will be especially evident around 06:00-08:00 UTC, when the Moon in Scorpio joins in.

Planets/Points affected lie between 10:28 and 12:28 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Sunday, November 19, Ceres/Leo square Venus/Scorpio, 15:48

The weight of family obligations is heavy. In the US, we celebrate Thanksgiving Day on Thursday, and it’s one of the more notorious holidays for enforced familial bonding. I have to ask - if you don’t enjoy it, why are you still doing it? We don’t have any obligation to make ourselves miserable! Considering that this square also carries implications of low self-esteem, we may want to spend time with congenial friends. In the immortal words of Lucy Van Pelt, “Just because you’re related to someone doesn’t mean you have to like them” - or even have them in your life at all.

Planets/Points affected lie between 14:48 and 16:48 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*; and between 0:00 and 1:48 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*.

Tuesday, November 21, Pluto/Capricorn sextile Venus/Scorpio, 17:33

Pluto rules Scorpio, and this sextile/nudge it makes to Venus can take on a cold and calculating quality. Conversely, we might just have a lesson about what love really is. Issie describes these planets’ interactions as “the choice between self-indulgence and self-mastery.” The sextile gives the opportunity to “purge the individual of possessiveness and selfishness.” The Moon is in Capricorn and brings the lesson home, particularly strongly on Wednesday.

Planets/Points affected lie between 16:33 and 18:33 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Wednesday, November 22, North Node/Leo square Venus/Scorpio, 18:59; South Node/Aquarius square Venus/Scorpio, 18:59

In his book Yesterday’s Sky, Steven Forrest describes “the possible projection” of a Venus-Nodes conflict as, “a judgmental ‘sour grapes’ bitterness or a blindly one-dimensional kind of worshipfulness and longing.” That sounds particularly like an awry Venus/Scorpio to me. His advice to people is to “actually make grown-up love work.” On the heels of that Venus-Pluto sextile, we know how to pull this off.

Planets/Points affected lie between 17:59 and 19:59 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*; and between 2:59 and 4:59 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*.

Friday, November 24, Juno/Capricorn sextile Venus/Scorpio, 21:41

Not a bad time at all to tie the knot. The urge is to be half of an officially sanctioned relationship, ‘til death do we part. If you’re in an established relationship, enjoy! If you’ve just started out together, think about the long-term - what will you and your partner have to do, to have this kind of partnership for yourselves? And if you’re all alone in the world (raises hand), go for the Juno as “protector of the powerless” and Venus/Scorpio as secret generosity: go out and find a “kids’ Christmas wish list” and play Secret Santa. (My grocery store always has a Christmas tree with gift tags - now that my own children are adults, who don’t have kids, this is how I can still experience some of that “childhood holiday delight.”)

Planets/Points affected lie between 20:41 and 22:41 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Sunday, November 26, Chiron Rx/Pisces trine Venus/Scorpio, 24:21

We may be more likely to “feel” this one late Monday, when the Moon/Pisces conjuncts Chiron and trines Venus. It has a strongly redemptive flavor. Remember that Chiron is the “wounded healer” - it deals with its own wounds by helping people in similar circumstances - and that Chiron is in Pisces, where Venus is exalted. There’s also some “doing it my way” energy, some resistance to being forced into societal constraints - the trine makes that easy.

Planets/Points affected lie between 23:21 and 25:21 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.