#i mostly only want to read about the eight or nine characters introduced before the 90s

[wanderingmind867]

I want to like the Doom Patrol consistently, but I can't. The Arnold Drake run was the only run on the comic that was superb, but even it had problems. Like how Arnold Drake chose to kill his characters off when the book got cancelled. And Paul Kupperberg actually made them interesting again (I actually like Celsius and Tempest and Negative Woman), but he was also way too willing to kill off his own characters. And then Grant Morrison makes The Chief evil or something, while continuing to kill people off. This comic series is so hard for me to get into. It's why I had to make up my own interpretation on it. Because I want to stop reading about them around issue #112 of their original book, and then I never revisit them (besides their brief revival by Paul Kupperberg in the 70s).

And Grant Morrison had some decent ideas. I really love Mr. Nobody, for example. But he made a character I like become evil, he kills half of his own cast, he aggravates me with this stuff. Arnold Drake is pretty much the only guy who wrote the team well on a consistent basis, and nothing would make me change my mind. The Chief, Robotman, Negative Man, Elasti-Girl and occasionally Mento make up a decent unit. Paul Kupperberg's revival with Celsius, Tempest, Robotman and Negative Woman wasn't too bad either, though. But yeah, nothing besides those eight or nine characters works for me.

[koruga]

@mudpuddlenl I hope you don't mind but I've had more time to think and your tags have lit a fire in me to talk about it.

#honestly yeah kinda?#I feel like there’s a lot of. talking parts in the middle of songs#little wolf especially#and then love in paradise feels kinda disjointed with two entirely different vibes#honestly I feel like the time dive should be its own song instead of being put in front of love in paradise#and maybe love in paradise is intentionally disjointed but just. the way it is framed with the time dive makes it feel like the song is#centered around Athena. instead of Calypso and Odysseus#which means I don’t think Odysseus ledge moment gets to shine as much as it could have#also idk I hoped god games parts would get longer the higher level they were#(really was wishing there was a cut in hera’s clip that we knew and it was longer)#but now it just feels like Apollo. Hephaestus and Hera have very short parts#and while Aphrodite and ares have about the same length each. since their levels interact it feels longer#also it feels like Athena never really addressed Aphrodite’s argument separately?#‘a broken heart can mend’ well yeah but his mom is still DEAD Athena#anyways i do like the album overall but I do notice myself skipping to certain song parts

Because I agree with basically all of this, and I need to talk about where I think this saga went wrong. Mostly I've been okay with the deviations from the text -- the Odyssey is an ancient text, and interpretation is necessary for adaptation. But I feel like this saga especially interpreted it in a way that's just...pretty uninteresting, honestly? And in favour of putting a character arc onto Athena, which I understand is seemingly necessary for a deuteragonist but just didn't appeal to me.

I may just be banging on the same old drum here, but I don't particularly jive with the suitors being these older, intimidating men. They're dangerous, but as I read the Odyssey, they only seem to be dangerous in numbers, and realistically, those suitors would be men who were either too young or too infirm to join Odysseus in battle, so at most they'd be ten or fifteen years older than Telemachus himself, and they didn't put up much of a fight in the latter portion of the Odyssey. They've spent the better part of a decade lazing around, eating Penelope's food, not doing much at all, so Little Wolf just didn't particularly hit for me on that front, and Athena's first contact with Telemachus being for battle was kind of eh to me too.

And then Love in Paradise and God Games came, and...

Look. I do try not to be completely Book Good Musical Bad, but one thing I don't feel like most people appreciate is that all the shit that came before now? Odysseus's journey, his story? All of that didn't even happen until Book Nine of the Odyssey. Books One through Four were just Telemachus and Penelope, mostly Telemachus, and Books Five through Eight are Odysseus getting off Ogygia and to relative safety. I realise we needed all that shit beforehand because we're going in mostly-chronological order for the musical, but I don't think Love in Paradise and subsequently God Games should have been in this saga.

Telemachus needs to grow first. In an ideal world, I'd want at least one saga of Telemachus on his own, maybe two if we're willing to stretch it and let him visit Nestor and Menelaus. Athena's there, obviously, but I barely know Telemachus in this musical. I don't care about him yet, and that's a problem. Why does Athena want to help him? You've introduced her leaving Odysseus behind, you've introduced the fact that she's going to have an arc, so why should she care about Telemachus other than 'he's Odysseus's son' when he hasn't done anything?

Ultimately, learning what happened to Odysseus the chapter after he makes that choice to let the rest of his crew die is boring. It's a cliffhanger if you're listening saga by saga, but flowing as one continuous narrative, there's like two songs in between then and now. Telemachus is barely given time to breathe as a character, and then Odysseus is back! But we're not even focusing on him for this song where he's stranded and forced into husbandry, when he gets severe PTSD and is implied to be sexually assaulted. We need to get to God Games, guys! That's the big number we want to end this saga on, so we can't focus on Telemachus's slow growth into a man or Odysseus's descent into misery! We don't even have time to show you Penelope!

And then God Games just...falls so flat for me. This entire album seems like it wanted to show all the best stuff in previews because it didn't have much more than that, and God Games suffers the most from that. I can definitely see why Apollo, Hephaestus, and Zeus's parts weren't previewed -- they're not very good!

I also hoped that the levels would get more difficult as they went on, and it seems like that was the plan? Apollo and Hephaestus were basically nothing, which sucked because why even put them there then. It seemed almost just like an excuse to get Jorge's dad into the album, and I don't think it was worth it -- his mom played the part of Odysseus's mother, and Odysseus's father is in the Odyssey! He could have cast his dad there instead, but like...the vocal performance didn't seem super strong, so I can see why he didn't. But that leaves Hephaestus with a boring part in God Games, and both Hephaestus and Apollo have super flat arguments that don't need to be there.

Aphrodite and Ares had a catchy part! And it seemed like yeah, things are getting harder, maybe Hera and Zeus will be super difficult, but Hera's bit was just a set-up for a Zeus cheating joke, which great. We've never seen that before, and then Zeus's...

Why is Zeus angry? Why does he feel any shame? Hate to bring up the book again, but in the Odyssey, it took this long because it's not until now that Poseidon fucked off long enough to attempt a rescue mission. Zeus adores Athena, and although he fucked Odysseus over in the Thunder Saga, he didn't seem to actually hate him. It was just business -- the crew offended Helios, so they had to die. Now he's super petulant and upset because Athena did what he asked?

Not to mention the lyric change from 'Apollo, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Ares, Hera, and me' to 'Apollo, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Hera, or me' which seems to imply that either she only had to convince one of them, or all the others or Zeus, which. She did.

I don't know. That big emotional moment at the end really fell flat for me because I don't know why he was upset. Zeus has no stake in Odysseus, there's no need for him to get so pissy when historically he's been pretty supportive of his favourite daughter. Good music, good framing, but as an adaptation of my favourite story, it's just not doing anything for me.

I'll probably start liking it more later, but at the moment I'm not sure I like the Wisdom Saga as much. There are parts of the songs that I really enjoy, but it feels like they're just smushed together such that I don't enjoy them as a cohesive whole. Also no Penelope, so 0/10.

[aomineavenue]

Summary: Six years ago, L/N Y/N wouldn’t exactly say that she loves her life. It had always been problematic but her best friend, Miya Atsumu, since she was eight when she moved to Hyōgo, has always been there for her, and she wouldn’t change it for the world. However, things would always fall apart for her ever since, so she should have expected of such. Running away from her problems seemed like the easiest route to take at the time, so what happens when the past comes barging back into her life demanding answers? Will she be able to confront her demons?

Pairings: Miya Atsumu x f!Reader

Genre: Angst, ANGST I LOVE ANGST, a lil bit of fluff here and there.

Warnings: Language, etc.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters except for the reader and my ideas. I do not claim any images used for content in this fic, everything goes out to their respective creators unless it is mentioned that it is mine.

Status: completed. | series masterlist

↩ at peace | dearest daddy

mia speaks!: 

okay, wow. So it took awhile for us to get here and I apologize for that but we’re finally done with Homesick, wew. It’s been a challenge but I’m so happy and grateful for all the positivity you guys have been sharing with me. Also, thank you so much for your patience. 

It’s been an emotional ride but we’re finally done. There may be a few short stories after this chapter but no promises. Hopefully I get the chance to though, I do want to be able to. But for now, if you guys have any requests for imagines/scenarios with this series, don’t be afraid to send them over!

Also, big thanks to @oii-sugasan​ and @sunshinesero​ for beta-reading this for me! I apologize if this chapter is any way lacking compared to the first nine chapters, it’s been awhile since I wrote anything so I hope this was a great way to end this series. 

I love you guys so much, I’m so glad to be (sorta) back. I hope you guys enjoy this!

Time was a funny and fickle thing. Sometimes there was never enough of it, and other times it stretched out endlessly. It had been seven months since your life had once again made drastic changes. It often surprised you how time flew by so fast.

Seven months since your two precious boys had been introduced to the man that they now call their father. And well, seven months since you had been reunited with the love of your life. Sure, it had ups and downs, it wasn’t bound to be perfect since the two of you were your own person. It was inevitable for such different personalities to clash, it didn’t help when there were two children present, one of them being as handful as their own father.

Atsumu had shown that he was a doting father, despite only being a part of their lives for less than a year, he had put his new family as his top priority, wanting to make up for lost time. He would instantly drop anything and everything, sometimes even volleyball when he could for times when his family needed him. Not that his new family had been a burden since then, his sons and of course you, have been nothing but loving and supportive. Showing up to games to cheer him on and the twins attending his training to either join or just watch their father and new favorite uncles.

It had been a rollercoaster ride since it was officially announced that Atsumu was off the market and that he actually had sons. Some fans were supportive, believing the news and claiming that both the young twins were striking replicas of the volleyball player. And of course, there were fans that were against it, raging how you were nothing more than a money-grabbing harlot and that you had probably lied to Atsumu about the twins being his.

They were quickly shut down, of course, by not just fans but various people close to the volleyball setter who defended you without you even asking for it. You weren’t going to lie, that particular month filled with venomous words thrown your direction stressed you out but it was mostly because of your motherly instincts, wanting to keep your sons away from such unnecessary drama. You and Atsumu had decided to ignore the majority of the vile comments but seeing you so emotionally exhausted had only fueled the already tiny flame in Atsumu. He was quick to announce that he would no longer tolerate any form of slander towards his family and would handle things legally if anyone were to step out of line.

And by the next few weeks, the hate simmered and the stress that had engulfed you and Atsumu in its grip had vanished. All that was left that made you both worry was Atsuhiro’s health.

Fortunately, Atsuhiro’s sickness didn’t grow worse as time passed by since his first transfusion. If anything, the boy was healthier and it was very much evident in his features. The healthy glow returned to his skin, he was smiling more and had shown his usual energetic-self like before he had fallen ill. Atsumu on the other hand, much to Atsuhiro’s dismay, had started becoming such an overprotective father. It took a lot of begging from Atsuhiko for their father to spend the day outside of the protective bubble of your apartment.

It took time and patience from everyone’s side to get this far, and for Atsumu, (and of course, you) he didn’t mind it one bit. He had grown more mature, despite his twin brother’s disagreements, he not only took care of himself more but he had become a role model to his sons.

Not only that, but as his relationship with his sons grew stronger, the love the two of you had for each other only seemed to intensify as well. Sure, the two of you had ups and downs back then in your friendship but it was as if time and distance hadn’t kept the two of you apart. If anything, it was as if it made your bond stronger. Two best friends, reuniting and finally expressing their true desires, it was easy for the two of you to fall into a comfortable routine.

“Where are the boys of the hour? I’ve been wanting to see how good Hiko looks in my jersey!”

Bokuto interrupts your thoughts for a brief second before you return your focus to your duties of cutting up the vegetables in the kitchen. You can’t help but chuckle at the sour expression that graces Atsumu’s expression as he fills a tray of refreshments on one of the island counters. “Don’t remind me, Bo-kun.”

“You’re just jealous that your sons didn’t want to wear your jersey," he teases, a playful grin on his lips as he lifts himself off of the ground by his hands to sit on the counter.

The scowl on Atsumu's face only deepens at the reminder, "Get off the counter, Bo-kun. Don't be rude. Why don't you actually start to help and give out these refreshments to the guests?"

You watch in amusement as the two exchange their usual banter around the kitchen of your home in Hyogo. It was decided a week ago after Atsuhiro's second transfusion was a success, that the twins would celebrate their birthday back at Hyogo instead of having the guests cramp up in your small apartment in Kanagawa.

It was also then decided by your sons what theme they would be having for their birthday. It was traditional for the twins to have their birthdays themed depending on their current interest. Lately, since the two were very fixated on volleyball due to their new favorite uncles and of course, their father, it was decided that they would be having a volleyball themed birthday where the guests were required to wear their favorite player's jersey.

For a minute, your new friend Bokuto had been rather excited upon hearing the idea.

"So show up with our own jerseys? Great!"

And as for Atsumu, he was excited at the prospect of seeing his own sons wearing his jersey. That is, until his sons destroyed such dreams.

"Are the two of you really sure?" you hear Atsumu's voice echoing from the twins' bedroom throughout the walls of the apartment as you stepped inside, shutting the door behind you as you ventured further into the comforts of your home. “Like really? Those are your choices?”

You grew curious as you slipped out of your shoes and let your hair loose from its tight bun, wincing slightly from your tugging. There was a tinge of whininess dripping from Atsumu’s voice that you couldn’t help but wonder what the three of them were talking about. It wasn’t unusual for Atsumu to be around when you had to work on days where the boys came home from school or when they didn’t have school.

At most times, when Atsumu didn't have training, he would be the one taking care of the boys instead of your mother or Osamu. Majority of his free time away from volleyball was spent with his sons, wanting to make up for the time he had lost. And there wasn't a day where the young twins wouldn't ask about their father and if he was going to visit. It was as if they were scared one of them would disappear, wanting to spend the entirety of their lives together.

"Maybe we can go with superheroes this year!" Atsumu's voice grew louder as you reached the door to the room where they occupied. Leaning against the door's frame, your eyes land on the back of Atsumu's head as he's seated on the carpeted floor facing the twins who were playing with their action figures. A small grin curling upon your lips at the sight of Atsumu’s slightly dishevelled bleached hair.

Atsuhiro, who seems to have the ability to sense your presence, looks up from his toys and in an instant, his eyes widen happily. He was about to greet you but you quickly pressed your index finger against your lips to signal the little boy not to announce your presence just yet, wanting to see Atsuhiko and Atsumu's interaction. The smart little boy that he is, nods and returns to his toys.

"But daddy," Atsuhiko protests, his focus still on the action figures in his hands, "We did superheroes last year! I wanna wear Uncle Bo's jersey!"

You fight the urge to burst out into a fit of giggles as soon as you catch a glimpse of Atsumu slumping his shoulders dejectedly. Now you understand as to why he had his moppy voice on. "But don't you want to wear daddy's jersey for your birthday?"

"But daddy," Atsuhiko lets out a sigh, looking up at his father with a look that meant the little boy wasn't up for any arguments on the matter, "Uncle Bo is the best! So I wanna wear his jersey!"

You could have sworn you heard Atsumu whine, suddenly wishing you had decided to film this from the start. "But it will make daddy really happy if you wear his jersey!"

Atsuhiko shakes his head as he continues to play with his action figures, "But I want Uncle Bo and I to match!"

Atsumu sighs in defeat before turning his attention over to Atsuhiro, looking hopeful. "What about you, Hiro? Would you wear daddy's jersey?"

"No, daddy. I wanna wear Kageyama-san's jersey," he nods with a proud smile, "Wanna be just like him! He's so good!"

"But daddy's just as good a setter as Tobio-kun!" Atsumu cries out, throwing his hands up in the air, "betrayed by my own children. 'Samu isn't going to let me live this down."

This time, you let your presence be known by finally releasing a bubble of laughter. Atsuhiko instantly drops his action figures and rushes over with a happy squeal. Atsumu pivots his body, looking up at you with such a pitiful gaze as he juts his lower lips out ot a pout, "I want new children."

Needless to say, Atsumu had been pouty ever since and has been dreading today due to the reason that every single one of his friends had found out about it. He had tried a handful of times to change their minds, unfortunately, the young twins won't budge.

“It’s not my fault your kids like me better than you,” he huffs, folding his arms across his chest, “I am an ordinary ace after all!”

A scowl graces on Atsumu’s features which causes the other occupants in the room to chuckle in amusement. It wasn’t as if Atsumu didn’t like the idea of his sons becoming close to his teammates, but lately, it was getting harder for the setter to share. “Get your own children!”

“Ah, about that...” Bokuto trails off with a nervous chuckle which causes everyone to fall silent and look at him in curiosity, “I actually will be getting my own child soon, I think.”

“You think?” you ask with an arched brow, “You can’t just think you’re having a child, Bokuto-san.”

Atsumu interjects, “And aren’t you in love with that best friend of yours? What happened to never being with anyone else but her?”

He waves his hand in the air dismissively with a frown etched on his lips, “Well, I can’t exactly be with her when she just got married.”

“You are so getting your ear torn off by the management when this news gets out,” Atsumu snickers, which he earns a smack to his shoulder from you. “Ow!”

You narrow your gaze at your boyfriend, completely unamused with his behavior. “Don't be dramatic, I didn't hit you that hard!" Letting out a huff as you wipe your hands on the apron you were wearing, "You aren’t helping Bokuto, ‘Tsumu.”

His lips curl up to a cheeky grin at the sight of your expression. He leans forward to nuzzle his nose against your cheek, your cheeks growing warm from the public display of affection. His heart swells from your reaction to his gesture, murmuring teasingly, “Sorry, darling.”

“Please, don’t make me barf.” Osamu interrupts with his features scrunched up in distaste from the interaction between you and his brother.

Atsumu sticks his tongue out at his brother who returns the gesture with a shake of his head. His arm snakes around your waist to pull you closer to his side as he returns his attention over to his teammate, “Well, is the woman making you marry her?”

“Making you pay for child support?” Osamu quickly adds.

Atsumu quips with a chuckle, “Threatening to expose your sins?”

You interrupt the two with a glare towards them, “Stop ganging up on him!”

Bokuto lets out a laugh as he begins helping your mother set up the desserts onto one of the trays to bring outside to the guests, “Nothing like that, she’s pretty chill and we’ve gotten pretty close lately. So we’re going to co-parent.”

“That’s very mature of you, Bokuto-kun.” your mother compliments him with a smile before patting his back.

He feels his cheeks grow warm from the compliment, his heart swelling with pride. “Thank you.”

“Maybe you’ll end up falling for her anyway,” Osamu teases with a smirk playing on his lips, leaning against one of the kitchen counters.

He shakes his head at the idea as his brows knit together, “Jess and I won’t fall in love.”

“Jess?” Atsumu blinks at the familiar name before his eyes widens at the realization, releasing his grip from your waist, “Jess, that journalist that you showed around town when she first visited Japan?”

Bokuto nods with a smile gracing his features, “Yeah, she’s pretty cool.”

“Maybe you’ll learn to love her in your own way through your child,” you suggest with a shrug of your shoulders as you began untying the apron you were wearing upon realizing what time it was.

Atsumu shakes his head and responds before Bokuto could utter a single word, “No, no. That’s impossible. Bo-kun’s heart belongs to his best friend.”

“Stop teasing him,” you scold your boyfriend with a shake of your head, handing over the apron you successfully took off, “make yourself useful and help out here in the kitchen,"

"Bu—"

Cutting him off with a stern glare as you lift a tray from one of the kitchen counters and handing it over to Bokuto, a small smile gracing your lips, "Don't mind him, Bo. Can you bring these to the backyard and help out if anyone else needs help? I think Reiji needs a hand setting up the bouncy castle,"

Retrieving the tray from your hands, his eyes lighting up from the excitement, "bouncy castle, you say?"

"That's for the kids, Bo-kun." Atsumu scoffs but soon lets his lips form into a pout when he had been ignored, turning his attention over to you once Bokuto slips out of the kitchen, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to check on the boys to see if they're ready for their big entrance," you muse with an amused grin. Of course, you knew what your sons had prepared for the big entrance that they insisted. Atsumu had pestered both you and the young twins since he had heard of their plan but as your sons refused to budge, you had feigned clueless, claiming that your sons had opted it to be a surprise.

Little did Atsumu know that you had helped your sons pull off such an idea.

"I don't get why they have to have a big entrance," he sighs, brows furrowing as he racks through his thoughts on what the surprise could be. It didn't help that he was both curious and excited at what his sons might pull off.

Osamu lets out a snort, rolling his eyes at his twin brother as a smirk curls upon his lips, "What do you mean? They're your kids."

"What does that even mean?" Atsumu scowls as he slips on the apron you had handed over, walking over to where your mother was situated to take over what you were doing.

You shake your head at the two bickering older twins and shoot a look of sympathy towards your mother that was going to be left with them in the kitchen before she waves you off. Your heart was swelling from happiness at how natural everything felt, despite the silly banter thrown around. It was home.

As you step into your childhood living room, you're hit with a nostalgic wave from the memories surrounding the whole area. Though it may be a mixture of good and bad memories, since you had come to terms that you were no longer running away from your past, you only feel comfort. You made your way through your childhood home over to the bedroom that had been renovated to the liking of your twin boys.

The mere thought of your boys growing to love the place where you had grown up yourself was enough to bring a smile to your face. You press your knuckles against the wooden door to signal your presence by knocking on it repeatedly, “Are you two ready?” you ask, your voice probably muffled on the other side. Your fingers wrap around the handle of the door and as you were about to twist and push it open, the door instantly snaps back shut with a loud thud. “Can’t-”

“No, mommy!” Atsuhiko screeched causing you to blink from both the surprised force and tone. Pressing your palms and ear against the door to hear what the commotion was all about, you frown upon hearing only their shuffling feet, “What are you two doing? Guests have arrived and your party will be starting soon,”

“We’re almost ready, mommy!” Atsuhiro assures you from the other side.

A chuckle escapes your lips at their antics as you decide to not interfere any further, “Alright you two, just be sure to be out in a few. You don’t want your daddy to come fetch you. It’ll ruin the surprise.”

“Okay mommy!” you heard Atsuhiko yell out, their excited muffled voices purely obvious from the other side that you couldn’t help but smile.

On the other hand, back in the kitchen, the father of your twins was having his own little dilemma back in the kitchen. It wasn’t as if he was uncomfortable being around your mother, but it was more like he felt he was still lacking.

Despite him knowing that your mother and you hadn’t had the greatest relationship when your father passed away, he still wanted to be someone your mother would approve of. He didn’t know whether your mother knew the whole story of the relationship between the two of you but being away from you and your sons during most of their childhood was enough to make him worry. The mere idea of his sons looking up to him sent his heart soaring, but of course, he also wanted your mother to feel secure enough for him to be together with you and the twins.

“I’ll bring out these sliced up fruits outside,” Osamu cuts the clear tension surrounding the kitchen. Atsumu resists the urge to glare at his twin for leaving him behind with your mother, knowing full well that his brother knows his current insecurities. A small smirk graces Osamu’s features but not the obvious one that would make your mother notice.

Atsumu watches his twin slip out of the kitchen with a tray full of food for the guests before flickering his gaze over to your mother situated at the other side of the room, making final touches to the cupcakes. “Is there anything else that I can do?”

Without looking up, a smile etches on your mother’s face. “No, it’s fine. We’re just about done with everything.”

“It looks good,” he states with a nod of his head, not really knowing what to say.

Placing the piping bag to the side, your mother lifts her head up to look towards the direction of Atsumu and wipes her hands on the apron she’s currently wearing, “You know you can always start calling me mom.”

The mere sentence made Atsumu want to leap in excitement, but at the same time he was nervous, a sudden fear of messing things up engulfing him. “I don’t want to overste-”

“Oh please,” your mother waves her hand in the air with a light chuckle, “I’ve known you since you were eight. We’re practically family. So you might as well call me mom.”

Atsumu couldn’t help but let the corners of his mouth tug up to a wide smile, “Alright, mom.”

“I’m really happy that the two of you decided to work things out,” your mother spoke with a smile as she delicately places the cupcakes on the cupcake stand.”

His feet shuffled across the room to help your mother stack the cupcakes onto the stand, “We had to for the kids anyway.”

Your mother hums in thought for a second before responding, “I think the kids were just the push the two of you needed. If anything, I’ve always thought the two of you would always end up together since the two of you always leaned on each other for anything.”

He nods his head slowly, leaning against the counter as he feels his heart swell with happiness. “I guess you’re right, mom. I did lean on her majority of the time when we were growing up. I guess I still am now. I just wish I could make her happy.”

“Don’t worry, you do. Before she left Hyogo, I know for a fact that she was miserable in this house after her dad had passed. You were the only one giving her a reason to move forward,” your mother spoke, sadness dripping from her voice.

A sigh escapes Atsumu’s lips as his features scrunch up to something that resembles pain. “I was also the reason why she left. I may be even the biggest reason why she left.”

Your mother extends an arm out and places a hand on Atsumu’s arm, trying her best to give assurance and comfort, “You weren’t the only reason behind that. I don’t know if she’s told you, but I had neglected her. I’m not proud of it and apologies are probably never enough for forgiveness. I was barely a mother when my husband had passed. I was almost an empty shell and instead of being a moth-”

“Mom,” Atsumu cuts her off and grabs hold of her hand in his own, “Don’t blame yourself. She loves you very much. It’s all in the past. We’ll be able to move forward, we already are.”

The two were interrupted with Osamu’s arrival, knocking by the kitchen’s door frame to announce his return. A smile etched on his lips at the scene before him, “Hey, Y/N wants everyone in the living room. Apparently the boys are ready to make their big entrance.”

Your mother excuses herself as soon as she removes the apron tied around her, excitement clearly evident in her features. Atsumu knew it well, despite the relationship that you had been slowly rebuilding with your mother, she was just as excited as him to have the twins into her life. She has equally doted on, if not more, on the twins ever since and well, Atsumu wouldn’t have it any other way.

Atsumu knew for a fact that you adored the time you’ve been sharing with your mother. As long as you were happy, nothing else mattered.

Osamu gives him a pat on the back, arching a brow in curiosity as they make their way out of the kitchen, “Everything alright?”

Atsumu gives him a nod, giving him the largest grin that he could muster. “Yeah, definitely.”

“You look disgusting,” Osamu jokes, pretending to shudder which causes Atsumu to give him a shove as they step into the living room where most of the guests have already gathered.

“Hey ‘tsumu!” Bokuto calls out from next to you as soon as Atsumu comes into view. “Hurry up! I’m excited to see Hiko in my jersey!”

Atsumu rolls his eyes as he approaches, grumbling to himself. As soon as he reaches your side, he places a quick kiss to your temple before snaking an arm around your waist to pull you closer. “Yeah, yeah. You have to stop rubbing it in. We get it.”

You couldn’t help but let a laugh escape your lips as you lean yourself into Atsumu’s warmth, “Oh come on now you two, focus on the big entrance will you?”

Bokuto just snickers from the side while Atsumu sends him a glare. If you were to describe the two of them, they were practically acting like petty children but you know those two will eventually switch attitudes as soon as your twins step out to make their entrance.

You flicker your gaze over to Osamu who was situated a few steps ahead from your little group, trying his best to act natural with his phone up. The two of you had discussed prior to the party that he would be the one to film the whole thing going on. Your little boys had practically begged their uncle to film their big entrance but mostly, what you hoped Osamu to capture was Atsumu’s reaction.

A part of you expects that he would be a grinning mess at the sight of his kids but also, you’re also hoping he’d be speechless from all the teasing his kids put him through of having to wear someone else’s jersey.

“What’s taking them so long?” Atsumu asks, tilting his head slightly hoping to meet your eyes as his fingers play with the hem of your shirt.

As you were about to answer him, the familiar voices of your two boys echo throughout the room from the top of the stairs. You didn’t even have to look to know about their surprise since you know very well of what they had planned. Well, obviously, you had helped them out with picking up the jerseys that they were going to wear.

However, you had wanted to capture Atsumu’s reaction to your boys with your own two eyes instead of just watching it from a video. And honestly speaking, you didn’t think you’d fall in love with this man any more than you already do but here you are.

Just the mere sight of his features scrunching up to a look of awe was enough for your heart to swell. It looked as if he was close to tears as watches the twins descend the stairs with the prodest smiles they could muster.

You pry yourself away from his side as soon as the twins approach Atsumu, knowing full well what was going to happen as they had practiced what they were going to say. Flickering your gaze over to Atsuhiko and Atsuhiro, seeing them in Atsumu’s high school volleyball jersey made your own eyes water despite the fact that you were the ones who had gotten them the uniform a week ago.

“Wh-What are you guys wearing?” Atsumu almost chokes out his words, “What happened to the jerseys that we bought that you said you were going to wear?”

Atsuhiko throws his arms out in the air, smiling widely. “We changed daddy!”

“We wanna wear your jersey daddy,” Atushiro nods his head enthusiastically, lifting his hand up to grip onto Atsumu’s shirt.

Atsuhiko wraps his arms around Atsumu’s waist, “‘cause you’re our favorite volleyball player daddy!”

The scene itself was enough for everyone to watch in awe, a few of the guests that were invited had their own phones up to capture the moment with smiles on their faces, the others were almost practically in tears themselves, and well there was also Bokuto by the side with his pouty self at the realization that neither of his nephews were wearing his jersey like he thought they would. Atsumu on the other hand, had eventually dropped down to his knees and wrapped his arms around his two boys, burying his face in between them as he let out his own tears stream down his face from the overwhelming joy that coursed through him.

Yes, this is your family.

This is your home.

You stare out the window from the kitchen of your childhood home, a smile on your face at the beautiful afternoon of your backyard full with people you adore and have missed so much. 

The party was still in full swing despite the sun about to set, the laughter from the guests and a few children present rang in the air. Happiness had engulfed your heart and honestly, you had trouble believing it yourself but here you were. 

You wouldn’t trade this for anything. 

An arm snakes around your waist from behind and you would have been startled if you hadn’t felt Atsumu’s presence a minute ago. Despite not having seen each other in years, everything about him was still familiar. Sure, there were a few things about him that you didn’t know but that didn’t mean that he still wasn’t your Atsumu that you’ve grown to love. 

“Thank you,” he whispers as he nuzzles his nose into your hair, a smile playing on his lips. 

You place your hands atop of his and lean yourself back into his warmth, your brows furrowing in confusion. “What are you thanking me for?” 

“For everything,” he lets out a sigh, causing a shiver to run down your spine from the heat radiating from his breath close to your ear, “For giving me two amazing boys and for existing yourself.” 

Pivoting your body around so that you were facing Atsumu, your hands settling on his chest as you look up at him with your lips curling up to an assuring smile, “Thank you.” 

“And what for?” Atsumu questions, matching your own smile with his own as his hands cup your face. He lowers his head slowly, nudging your nose with his own as the pads of his thumbs brush delicately against your skin. 

Heat spreads across your cheeks at his gestures, feeling shy yourself but despite that, the majority of what you felt was only comfort in being in his arms. “For loving me as much as I love you.” 

He hums in response, placing a quick kiss to your lips. “No, I probably do love you more. More than you can imagine.” 

Before you could respond, he places his lips back firmly on yours and your eyelids flutter shut as if on instinct. The hands of yours that were resting on his chest eventually found their way around his torso to pull him close. Tilting your head to the side, the kiss itself deepens as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

It just felt so natural being with him.

Before the kiss could grow more heated however, a loud yell from outside had interrupted the both of you causing you to pull away much to both of your dismay. Your heads turn towards the direction of the commotion, the bouncy castle coming into view.

Or rather, the depleting bouncy castle with Bokuto and Hinata coming out hastily in laughter. 

You shake your head at the scene, a bubble of laughter leaving your lips before turning your head back over to look at the man before you. Just when you had decided to pull back and return to your duties of being a mother, he wraps his arms back around your waist to pull you back against him. Another laugh escapes your lips as you playfully slap his chest, “What now? We have a party going on, we have to entertain our gue-” 

“Move in with me,” he interrupts, his features showing nothing but seriousness. 

You meet his sincere gaze with your own and your heart makes a leap out of joy. There was only one answer you could possibly give. 

“Yes.”

[treeni]

For Your Entertainment

Day 4 - There is a trail of color only you can see that marks out where your soulmate has been. (I know its late, I forgot to post here)

Prinxieceit

Wordcount: 5688

TW: Swearing, I may have to accept swearing’s a default of my writing and not swearing is the abnormal. Heights. Abusive past (sad but not graphic) Non cannon blind character, (Avatar-esque level jokes about said blindness (think Toph)) mentions character experiencing homophobia and disable-phobia. Crime?

Summary:  If you were lucky, the world would be suddenly bathed in color at sunset or sunrise. Trails of colors left by your soulmate suddenly appear. For the first time, Roman was seeing the colors he had heard so much about in storybooks, that he’d heard even Remus talk about. Finally, finally he was on a quest to follow them.

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taglist: @tsshipmonth2020 

Roman took a deep breath. In slowly, hold, and breathe out. He stared down at the crowd of what had to be a couple thousand people, maybe more. The bright lights obscured him from being able to truly take stock even from his position so high up. He rocked on his feet once, the nervous energy still shaking his knees just slightly.

And then he jumped.

Roman arched his back and stretched his legs forward with pointed toes to pick up speed quickly, his white leotard stretched familiarly with his movements like a second skin. The shimmering red accents caught the light and the audience gasped as he let one hand move from the aerial swing to pose for the cameras as Remus mirrored his movements in his own black and green leotard while swinging the opposite direction.

The biggest difference between the twins in their joint performances was that while Roman’s face was always a neutral and calm mask of concentration, Remus face was invariably stretched in a huge, toothy grin as he gave into the freedom and adrenaline rush of their careers. He truly was in his element whenever they practiced or performed. Roman? Less so. It’s not that he didn’t like it, he loved the crowds, the reactions of the audience gasping, and awing at their every trick, it’s just... he wanted something more. Something a little less mindless, something he could get lost in the way his brother lost himself in the rush. Maybe singing? Or acting? Or both? Maybe he could bring it up to their ringmaster sometime?

Remy was open for ideas wasn’t he?

Maybe going to his husband Emile about it first would be safer.

The performance was a constant back and forth between the twins, one brother constantly grabbing hold of the other brother and swinging them into the air, then catching them again on their decent. The had to be in perfect sync and over the years the two learned to read each other’s body language as easily as an open book. Or a hidden diary in Remus’ case. Several minutes in with a head rush of seemingly countless tricks and Roman felt like he was settling into the groove of the performance. He was amping up for the big show stopper soon and shook his metallic gold cuff at his brother, catching the light just so in order to signal for him to get ready. Just in time too it seemed, as a blinking stage light was signaling to them both that they needed to wrap it up soon for the next performance.

Light reflected from Remus’ own silver cuff. One, two, three flashes. He was ready and waiting. Roman nodded, mostly to himself and poised himself to go as Remus swung down first. It took a few trips back and forth while beating his legs to and fro for him to build up the momentum he needed and then he was up, up, up in the air, twirling in three consecutive cartwheels on the way down. As he descended, Roman took off, grabbing hold of Remus’ swing on the way and catching his brother as he turned in the air at the last possible second to avoid certain doom. Or at least, what appeared to be certain doom to the audience. Their job was never absolutely safe, but they did have certain safety precautions in place just in case, particularly a hidden net. If there was one thing that Remy was adamant about, it was that no one was permanently hurt on his watch, not after Emile... well....

Anyway. It was a split second maneuver as Roman twisted and worked off the momentum Remus’ fall added to their now joint swing as Remus in turn tossed Roman high into the air. Roman pulled his arms in with his ankles crossed and twirled as fast as he could, like an ice skater performing an axel spin. One, two, three, four, five, six, he pushed for just one more before letting his limbs free and reaching out to Remus’ already outstretched arm, ready to catch him. Catch him he did as the two swung together to Remus’ starting side. With a flourish, the two bowed together in perfect unison, but Remus broke the synchronicity so he could pretend he was going to fall off the stand. As the audience gasped in horror, he pretended to catch himself at the last possible second, much to the public’s relief. Roman suppressed shaking his head and gave the audience one last wave as they exited to the backstage area and away from audience view. Pretending doom was inevitable was one of Remus’ very favorite tricks.

“Ro that was amazing! I didn’t know you managed to pull off another spin!” Remus cheered, throwing an arm around his shoulders in a side hug.

It wasn’t really amazing. He’d seen Remus practice the very same trick and regularly hit eight spins, nine when he was really pushing himself. However, Roman couldn’t pull off the cartwheel trick in the same way that Remus could. It disoriented him too much. When he tried it during practice, he usually faltered at the end, nearly missing Remus’ grip. It was too dangerous to attempt in front of an audience right now and Remy refused to approve it until he made better progress. Remus never said a negative word about it, but Roman knew he was the weaker link of the two. Twins or no, Roman couldn’t quite move the way Remus could. He was stronger, sure, but less flexible, while Remus moved like a living rubber band.

“Hey, what’s with that face Ro?” Remus asked, hip bumping him playfully.

“Nothing...just...” Roman started with a sigh. “have you ever wanted to do something else?”

“Like what?” Remus asked blinking, as if the thought had never crossed his mind before.

“I dunno... something.”

Roman wanted to write, to sing, to dance, to paint, to act, he wanted to do so, so many things that didn’t involve variations of the same routine again and again, night after night.

“Well you know me, I’m always open for ideas!” Remus exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air to show his excitement at the prospect of change. “I want to hear everything! Let’s work on-”

Annnnnnd he was gone. Remus had stopped mid-sentence going googly eyed as he always did when his soulmate, Patton, walked into their general vicinity. He was decked out in a leotard similar to their own in a soft baby blue, with the added bonus of a floofy cyan skirt that matched his soft pleather shoes.

“You both did great out there!” Patton exclaimed with a big toothy grin, reaching to Remus with grabby hands for a hug that was readily returned.

“You really think so?!” Remus asked, nearly bouncing on his feet at the praise.

“Of course I do Inky!” Patton responded with equal enthusiasm and kissed his nose. They were supposed to use their stage names around the audience, but Patton had a habit of using them as affectionate pet names in equal measure. Remus quickly responded with a raspberry kiss on his neck that left Patton in a fit of giggles.

Roman rolled his eyes. Of course Patton thought so. He literally said it every performance.

“I thought you did great too Charm, dad said you got an extra spin tonight!”

“Yeah he did! He was really great out there Drift! The crowd ate it up!”

Unlike Roman and Remus, Patton wasn’t allowed to pick his stage name. Well, he was, as the story goes, until he tried to pick ‘Kitten.’ Emile had been okay with it, but Remy had put his foot down, saying it would make people think too much of another kind of performance. Plus, Patton wanted to teach classes to kids and he wouldn’t be getting any parental sign-ups with that kind of a stage name. Drift was a compromise that was a nod to the shoes he was filling as he took over Emile’s performance.

The loudspeaker crinkled to life with a tinny, electronic buzz. “Hey, ya’ll, have you been enjoying tonight?”

The crowd sounded out their appreciation.

“Oh, I’m sorry babes, but I can’t hear you. Wanna try that again?”

The crowd screamed louder.

From their spot hidden away, Roman could spot Remy center stage in a relaxed position with a hand on his hip. He always had such a strange demeanor for a ringleader. Sometimes he’d literally just walk on stage, take a seat on a stool and spend a few minutes loudly sipping from the straw of his coffee, doing literally nothing else. Roman really couldn’t fathom why audiences seemed to think it was so funny, but they invariably did. Eventually one of the performers would usually come out and start to pull off some tricks behind his back or Emile would enter the stage decked out in his clown costume and make the audience laugh with various tricks that were mainly at Remy’s expense.

Their ring leader had been shot in the face with a water gun many of times while Emile quoted Toy Story for the kids. Anyone else would have suffered consequences for that kind of behavior, but Emile?

Emile invariably was given a soft, amused look in return and sometimes Remy would even pull out a water gun of his own and shoot his husband back.

“Much better. Let me introduce to you, my favorite, and the very best of our sorry lot! Our graceful tightrope walker Drift!”

The audience cheered again, but got louder still when Remy muttered into the microphone, “Yeah, you better cheer, that’s my son ya’ll.”

It was only mildly threatening.

“That’s my cue I guess,” Patton said, shaking his head at Remy’s antics. He gave Remus a single kiss on the cheek before hurrying to his place on stage.

Even just that was enough to push a dopey looking grin on Remus’ stupid face.

Roman gagged.

The tightrope walker didn’t know it, but Remus rushed off to the rafters with barely a wave in Roman’s direction as he hurried off, just as he did every time Patton performed. Roman pushed away his annoyance at their cut-off conversation. He honestly didn’t expect anything else. As always, Remus sat by one of the stage lights, waiting and watching closely with a taut rope in hand. He was at the ready to swing in like god damn Tarzan just in case anything went wrong.

Not that it would.

Roman was good at his trade. Remus was great at it. However, Patton grew up on the tight rope. It was as familiar to him as walking on solid ground, maybe more so. The boy’s performance was practically a grand pas on a stupidly thin surface with gymnastic moves thrown in for flair. Roman was always most impressed by his ability to fluidly fall into a split, on a rope, without his hands, like it was easy. Patton was truly the star of their little show and Roman was certain he could have gone to the Olympics as a gymnast if he was ever so inclined.

Despite his past, and despite his unquestionable ability, Patton was very much like Roman in one very important way. Neither were satisfied by their performances alone. The two had long conversations about it over the years, especially when Remus was off adding to his seemingly endless skill set as he learned the most obscure of abilities from other performers. Unlike Remus thrived in all of the oddity, Patton wanted to do something that helped people, something social. He had never settled on exactly what, but he always insisted that it didn’t matter anyway, because he couldn’t bring himself to leave his parents behind. Remus’ sheer love of it all only solidified his stance and made him want to stay even more. However, they managed to work in some end-of-matinee kiddy classes to satiate his need for interaction. The twins helped too, well, Roman helped by acting as a second pair of hands that made sure no small children lost their balance too badly on the low bar that Patton taught them how to use. Remus “helped” by coming out in a plushy monster costume toward the end of the lessons and kidnapping “the princess,” which forced the kids into a course that utilized their newly taught skills so they could make a rescue attempt. The whole thing usually ended with Remus being squashed by a gaggle of small children who would beat him with foam swords while he played dead. Meanwhile, Patton would watch him fondly from behind the very crowd of children who saved him.

Roman shook his head of the thought just as Patton gave his closing performance bow. The two truly were the funniest of pairs, but they worked somehow. Patton seemed to thrive off of Remus’ near endless enthusiasm and Remus in turn flourished with Patton’s endless patience.

The rest of the show moved in a blur as Roman waited for it all to end. He was anxious for it to be over, anxious for time to pass already. It was their first day in a new city and he was waiting for his freedom to explore it. Roman was only brought back into focus when Remus and Patton gathered him for the final bow as Remy closed out the show. It was nearing sunset and part of their deal was that the first performance at any one location would end early enough that the performers would have the sunset free to do as they wished.

Most of the ones like Roman were just as anxious as him to explore, to catch sight of a wisp of glowing color that was only revealed in the light of a sunset or sunrise. There were apparently all sorts of scientific reasons why it happened, something about the specific light rays that hit and soul auras. Roman didn’t care enough about the how to really look much into it. All he cared about was the why. The why was being able to see the aura left behind that day by your soulmate. The why was being able to find them.

The why was why he was here.

Roman and Remus grew up in a shitty home, but that was no strange story to hear among the circus folk. Patton was pretty unique in sheer support and love Remy and Emile showed him. Then again, maybe he wasn’t. The power couple acted as group parents in a way and looked out for all of their performers. Remy would bring Roman hot chocolate on days he was particularly disheartened and sometimes Emile would kidnap him to watch Disney movies together. Still, there was a reason two sixteen-year-olds found their way to the circus in the first place. There was a reason they left their old, broken lives behind. It seemed to be fate alone that led to Remus seeing and subsequently following the glowing cyan trail all the way to a tightrope dancer in the middle of a show. It was the only time Remus actually had to catch Patton in the years since they’ve known him. The chubby cheeked, fresh faced, fourteen year old performer had gotten distracted by Remus’ sudden green shine and slipped right off. Without even thinking about it, Remus dove to save him from disaster, well perceived disaster. Still, the crowd ate it up and the reporters in attendance that night labeled him a hero in the next day’s papers.

Emile immediately invited Remus for dinner that night with them as a thank you for “saving” their son. When the couple heard about Remus’ living situation, a dead father and a drunk mother, they offered him a place with them. They showed him how to fill out emancipation forms and gave him all of the instructions he would need. They also told him to think hard about what he wanted before deciding. Remus came home with his arm full of forms and big bright eyes telling Roman the story of his soulmate. How he had found his true love and he wanted the two of them to run away together to the circus so he and Roman would be free.

And... honestly how could Roman ever say no to that?

Roman could still remember the conversation they had that night.

“Do you think mom and dad were soulmates?” Remus had asked him then as they rapidly packed their necessities, and only looking back did he realize how thin his gaunt his brother looked. Roman hadn’t realized they were underfed until they just... weren’t anymore.

“Yeah, Rem, I do,” Roman remembers saying at the time. He still believes it too. He could remember the soul crushing expression on his mother’s face when she got the call about the accident. He could still picture the hollow, dejected look that never left her eyes even as she searched at the bottom of bottle after bottle in hope of finding some peace. She didn’t know how to live without him it seemed. At the time, Roman couldn’t help but feel guilty leaving her behind, but he would have felt worse if Remus gave up his chance at happiness.

Honestly, he wasn’t sure if Remus would have gone through with it if Roman refused. A small part of him was scared his brother would have left him behind. A bigger part of him was scared he wouldn’t have. Roman couldn’t have put him into that situation, choosing between his twin and his soulmate. He refused to. So off to the circus they went and at the circus they’ve been since. It’s been just over a decade now and while it wasn’t the life Roman imagined for himself in the days Roman and Remus would whisper what they’d do when they were finally on their own while their mother drank away her problems in the living room, it wasn’t a bad life.

He just was ready for something more.

The crowd had barely filed out before Remus had grabbed onto his usual rope to swing around the tent and rapidly opening all of the flaps while Patton did the same on foot. The two worked to let in as much light from the setting sun as possible. On evenings like these the couple would sit together in the rafters, hip to hip and hand in hand, watching each other’s soul light bounce around the stage, mimicking their performances in high speed. Meanwhile Roman slipped away and took to the street towards the town.

One perk of his job was that parkour came easily and up the buildings he went to find himself at higher ground like an everyday comic book superhero. Sometimes Roman liked to imagine what it would be like to be in a comic book. What kind of powers would he have? Character flaws? Would he be a hero? Would a comic book Roman still feel so lonely?

He jumped to the next roof.

No glowing mist.

Not that he really knew what it looked like, just what it was supposed to look like according to Remus and Patton. Not that either were the best at explaining.

He knew it looked like a light, but colorful. Like mist, but stringy, streaming. Like water. Like neon. And the description he hated most of all, like nothing he’d ever seen before.

How was he supposed to know what to look for if he didn’t know what it looked like?

Roman jumped to the next roof.

He stared down at the people crowded on the streets below and was suddenly thankful for additional height. He’d never be able to sweep the city for any remnants of glow from down there, the pushy crowd of endless people would both get in his way and block his vision. Plus, as used to he was swinging through the air unobstructed, being pushed into a tight space while completely surrounded by sweaty, gross bodies sounded like a special kind of hell. He wasn’t sure how their audience ever managed it.

He groaned at the height difference of his current building and the next one, before leaping across to grab a window ledge, only to find himself in a upward climb to the roof. He wished he brought a bottle of water, but knew in reality it was a terrible idea. Water would just slosh in his stomach uncomfortably and the bottle could leave condensation on his hands, which in his shoes could be fatal. He got to the top with a grunt, ready to call it for a five minute break when-

When he saw something.

It was barely there anymore, but he scaled down the building as fast as his hands and feet would go, taking leaps and shortcuts he generally wouldn’t risk in order to get down there faster. He lucked out making it down unscathed, knowing that even Remus would have lectured him about a particularly dodgy jump (and when Remus lectured him, you knew he was being stupid) but his quick ascent allowed him to catch the last bits of a rapidly fading yellow trail. It faded from beginning to end, so he must have been closer to earlier parts, he thought as he pumped his legs, trying to keep pace with the lights that moved so much faster than him.

God the sun would be setting soon.

He was determined dammit!

Roman did as he did best and started to swing between the buildings, grabbing hold of a balcony here, a light post there, anything that he could that allowed him forward momentum at a faster pace than he could run it. People dodged out of his way, but he didn’t care as he was finally beginning to keep pace with it. The problem was that eventually the city ended.

He was back on his feet, running as fast as he could manage across open field, trying to defy the odds and keep up with the light that was rapidly denigrating before his eyes, focused on nothing but finding the end of it.

Then it was gone.

His surroundings were bathed in darkness as the very last remnants of the setting sun disappeared before his eyes. He finally looked up to take stock of his surroundings and found himself confused to be back in front of the circus tent he had just vacated earlier. There was no way that his soulmate was one of their crew, he would have known by now.

It must have been someone in the audience.

Oh god, but there were so many of them!

That didn’t help at all! Even if Remy gave him the list of attendees, he’d never be able to cross them all off before they were packing up again! He groaned and wanted to collapse where he stood. He wanted to fall into the grass and let himself sink until into the muddy, crummy underbelly of the earth as it swallowed him up and he rejoined the celestial plane. Screw this physical plane bullshit.

Instead he sighed, his shoulders slumped dejectedly as he headed to his trailer. At least he knew they were somewhere here. He just thought that he’d finally have a story of immediately finding them as soon as he caught sight of that beautiful, golden light that danced through the streets the way smoke weaved away from a warm candle. Like waves ebbing and flowing into each other. Like nothing he’d ever seen before.

At least he understood what that meant now.

For now, he was going to sleep away his depression so he could try to convince Remy to let him out of tomorrow’s show. Tomorrow’s started before the sun set, but decidedly ended much after and he wanted to get another look around town.

Roman paused in his gait, thankful that he had worn cloth slip-ons for balance. It had the added benefit of keeping his foot steps near-silent.

There was an odd clicking noise coming somewhere from his trailer. Roman tip-toed around it, keeping himself minimizing even the sound of his breathing. He was effectively impossible to notice, especially compared to the residual noise of the others shuffling around their general campsite. Roman wasn’t sure what to think when he found a hooded boy sitting at the side door of his trailer, with his ear pressed against a door as his hands... wait was that a lock pick?

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Roman demanded when he stopped in front of the boy- no man, he realized as he rapidly stood up and easily matched Roman’s height.

The guy looked around rapidly, searingly, but his gaze didn’t settle despite Roman standing just in front of him. Now that they were face to face, Roman got a look at his eyes, even with the rapid movement. They were big and beautiful, despite the messy, dark makeup framing them and they sparkled a light lilac color, nearly white. A realization struck Roman and he deliberately he cleared his throat. The face finally settled its search to point in his direction. He was blind.

“You uh... probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” the guy said, shoving the hands in his hoodie pockets.

“Try me,” Roman retorted. “I think the least I deserve is an explanation for why someone is trying to break into my trailer.”

“Your trailer?” The guy asked with a head tilt.

“Yes, my trailer,” Roman said, putting emphasis on every word. Why did he look so disbelieving?

“Right,” the man replied and pulled one hand out of his pocket to reach down for a white cane Roman hadn’t noticed before. “Would you believe me if I said I was looking for something for my soulmate?”

“I doubt you could look for much,” Roman said automatically, but horror overtook him as he realized the words that had tumbled out of his mouth.

Shit he’d been hanging around with Remus too much.

“I’m so sorry, that was insensitive of me, I-”

Roman was bewildered to see the man laughing as he leaned his weight on the cane for balance rather than direction.

“You got me there dude,” he said with a snort.

“No, please don’t forgive me so easily for that, that was uncalled for. I’ve had a frustrating day and I should not be taking it out on you,” Roman said with a groan, still in disbelief of what he let himself say.

“Nice to see you’re worried about the feelings of the man who tried to break into your trailer.”

“I do when I misdirect my anger. If I was going to make fun of you, it should have been related to the crime. Instead, my usual foot in mouth syndrome around cute men took over and I said what is probably the worst possible thing.”

“So you think I’m cute?”

Roman just groaned. There was no winning this conversation.

“I’m Virgil,” the hooded man said, finally taking pity on him while reaching out a hand.

“Roman, but you might have heard of me as Charm,” Roman said the stage name with a sigh, as if the name alone was exhausting, but shook the offered hand and tried not to think about how soft those long, pretty fingers were.

“Oh! We went to your performance today. I heard it was amazing.”

“Heard? But if you went to it wouldn’t you have...” Roman trailed off and immediately groaned, realizing his mistake.

Virgil was laughing at him again.

Roman willed the earth to swallow him whole for a second time that night.

“So, Roman, what would it take for a guy to get an escort home around here?” Virgil asked with a cheeky grin.

“Despite what my brother might insist, we’re not those kind of performers,” Roman shot back just as quick, finally able to contribute to the joke.

Virgil paused and Roman knew it was impossible, but it felt like man was checking him out.

“That’s too bad,” Virgil breathed with a smirk. “Sometimes it can be hard to find my way home this late at night.”

Roman snorted at the brazen impossibility of the statement as Virgil reached in his direction. Roman granted him mercy and took his hand, but he hadn’t been anticipating him slotting their fingers together.

“Walk with me?” Virgil asked, playfully bumping his shoulder into Roman’s.

Roman chided himself for automatically nodding, but Virgil seemed to get the idea somehow as he tugged lightly on their joined hands, pulling him forward without even a verbal confirmation. From there the two of them strolled through the city, keeping even a pace that could be best classified as a dawdle. Virgil seemed intent on taking his time as the two slunk along. Honestly, Roman didn’t even mind that much because otherwise he’d probably be in the corner of his trailer, sobbing as that performance’s makeup ran down his face in harsh, ugly lines.

“Tell me a boring fact about yourself,” Virgil said suddenly, not even pausing in his gait.

“Wouldn’t most people wan’t to hear an interesting fact?” Roman asked with an eyebrow raise.

Apparently Virgil could hear the gesture in his tone because he gave a shit-eating grin in return.

“Interesting facts are too much pressure,” Virgil shrugged, “Plus you work in a circus and try to fall to your death for a living, that’s already inherently interesting.”

“It’s not exactly trying to fall,” Roman defended, but conceded at Virgil’s own eyebrow raise. “Alright... uh... I hate sleeping with socks on.”

“Ha, me too,” Virgil agreed with a nod. “Janny always wears them and I don’t understand how it doesn’t drive him nuts.”

“Janny?”

“Oh shit, I mean Janus,” Virgil said, but seemed amused at his own slip-up. “Don’t tell him I called him that when we meet up with him.”

Roman swallowed and couldn’t help the disappointment building up in his gut.

“Is that your soulmate?” He found himself asking, if only to punish himself because he was already pretty sure of the answer.

“Mmmm, yeah,” Virgil agreed with a fond look that consisted of crinkled eyes with a little half smile. It was such a soft and endearing look and Roman wanted to cry.

Why didn’t anyone look at him like that?

“With the whole not being able to see anything, much less these “soul light” things I keep hearing about, it was up to Janny to find me, got me out of a shit situation too.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, apparently being disabled was already pushing the envelope for my family, but gay with a male soulmate too? That was just too much for them. I was instantly kicked out. We barely just met, but he immediately made sure I was taken care of. Even offered to find a way for me to stay somewhere else if I was uncomfortable staying with him.”

“Did you?” Roman asked. This Janus guy deserved a medal or something.

“Yeah actually, chilled with his co-worker Logan for a bit, cool guy, bit of a neat freak though. Didn’t stay too long though. Janus came and checked on me every day and well... its hard not to care for someone who makes it so abundantly clear they care for you.”

“A love story of the ages from there?” Roman teased, giving their intertwined hands a playful squeeze.

“Something like that.”

“I’ve always loved stuff like that,” Roman muttered in admission.

“Like what?” Virgil asked, stopping his trek and pulling Roman to stop too.

“Love stories... soulmate stories, the whole deal,” Roman said wistfully. He loved them more than anything because he wanted them more than anything. “I look at every stop we make to see if I can catch sight of mine. I feel like I’m so close!”

“That’s... actually really good to hear,” Virgil muttered.

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” Virgil said, and reached forward to a door that Roman hadn’t noticed before. “Don’t freak out too much, he’s got perfect aim, I promise.”

What?

Virgil pulled Roman inside without another word. Roman was just about to ask just what that was supposed to mean, when a throwing knife whizzed passed him and landed in the wood of the door mere centimetres from his face!

What the fuck?

“Who the hell is he and where the fuck have you been Virgil?! You’ve been out all night! Do you have even the slightest idea how dangerous it is out there for-”

“For someone like me?” Virgil asked with a huff as an, admittedly attractive man with a snake tattoo covering half of his face stomped straight up him.

The man put a hand on each of Virgil’s shoulders and literally shook him and demanded, “Do. You. Have. Any. God damn. Sense. Of fucking. Self preservation?!”

“None whatsoever,” Virgil deadpanned.

Absolutely savage.

The man sighed and slumped forward, letting his forehead rest against Virgil’s shoulder as he balled his gloved hands into the fabric of his hoodie.

“Aww, giving up already Janny? You haven’t even asked about your present yet.”

Oh! This was the soulmate. Suddenly his distraught reaction made a lot of sense.

Didn’t explain the knife though.

“I’ve been looking for you for hours,” Janus moaned in return. “You’re never leaving this god damn house again, I swear. You’re going to be the death of me.”

Virgil just snorted in return and motioned for Roman to move closer to them and out of the way as he used his cane to push open a curtain.

Then something beautiful happened.

No, something absolutely, astoundingly magical happened.

The room suddenly lit up in purple and gold as the first light of sunrise peeked through the window.

Virgil and Janus were literally glowing.

Roman watched as Virgil carefully tipped up Janus’ chin up, forcing him to face the sudden new lights streaming in and Janus let out a gasp.

“...Red,” he muttered breathily before he whipped around to look Roman’s way. For the first time, Roman could see the beautiful, two toned eyes that stared at him as if he were some kind of dream. “It’s you.”

[shinneth]

what is your absolute favorite ship? How did you start shipping Stevidot? And rant about any ship you feel like, good or bad? :))

… you fool

OH GOD ALL-TIME FAVORITE SHIP YOU SAY. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I CAN’T CHOOSE ONE.

(it’d probably be Stevidot anyway; objectively I’ve done more for it than anything else I ever shipped in my life and it’s absolutely precious both in platonic and romantic forms)

BUT IN THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS… and attempt to tone down redundancy, let’s see what other ships earned the “OTP” label from me!

I mean, I pretty much had to lowkey ship Mamoru Chiba x Ami Mizuno because Usagi/Mamoru is basically what Connverse wishes it could be as far as the Ultimate Ship goes. So at the height of my involvement in the fandom (you know, late 90s era), I was never brave enough to make anything for this ship. But the few times they get to interact in the classic anime is legit adorable stuff and I wish we could’ve had more of it. 

Before Gem Ascension, before Travels of the Trifecta, my greatest multichaptered epic was a Digimon Tamers fic called By My Decision. I was a hardcore Digimon fan in my early teen years well before I ever got into Pokemon, in fact. And I shipped shitloads of pairings in Adventure and 02 - I can only imagine how many of those would be demonized by the new age fandom puritans of Tumblr nowadays. You can actually see literally everything I ever shipped on my FFN profile here.

But I didn’t really make anything for the first two seasons. Tamers was what really sparked my inspiration, because Takato and Jenrya… honestly, they’re just adorable together. They get to bond a lot, they’re really in touch with their feelings (contrasting to token girl Ruki who was a stiff hardass most of the time), and I often got the impression that Jenrya, unlike Takato, really doesn’t have any other friends. 

So of course, I tormented these two on the regular in my story. I of course didn’t forget Juri (for I love her dearly); I was kinda trying a love triangle subversion with Takato angsting over loving both Jenrya and Juri… while Juri’s still got so much PTSD (story is 2 years post-series), shipping is hardly on her mind, and Jenrya’s outright in denial of his feelings for Takato to the point where it very literally screws him up and awakens some inner darkness of his own. I even had Jenrya and Juri bond, but it was pretty platonic stuff. 

Still, this ship was way down on the totem pole at the height of Tamers’ fandom. Very frustrating. Takato/Ruki and Jenrya/Ruki were way more popular and I hated both of those ships something fierce. I love Ruki, but I just cringe at the idea of shipping her with either of her fellow leads. Then Jenrya/Ryo got something of a cult following that I couldn’t stand; admittedly I was jealous it was getting the representation that I felt Takato/Jenrya desperately needed more, and I also didn’t like Jenryo in its own right, anyway. 

But yeah. Jenkato is a very underappreciated ship that I loved dearly and invested many of my teenage years into.

So, here’s a fun fact: While I played the classic games (my cousins had a Sega Genesis), the way I was mostly raised on Sonic was via the first two cartoon series and the Archie Comics version of the franchise. Archieverse was largely based on the SatAM cartoon; Amy Rose also didn’t exist in the show and it took about 25 issues for her to show up in the comic. 

So I was big on Tails x Amy. For a long-ass time. And really, the ship was really only feasible in the Archie continuity. There, Tails is actually older than his usual depicted canon age and Amy is introduced to be around his age before she artificially aged herself with a magic ring so that she could later take on her Sonic Adventure design. 

Before that… in these years, Sally was the most well-known love interest of Sonic in the west. So Sonic/Sally seemed like a lock (none of us knowing how Sega felt about that at the time) - and in retrospect I honestly believe it’s a far better Sonic ship than his more well-known modern alternatives. 

So, because of Sally’s prominence, Amy was relegated to Sonic’s fangirl and her crush wasn’t really that big a deal. Honestly, that was for the best, as I by far found Amy way more tolerable in Archie’s incarnation than the majority of her other canon contemporaries (Sonic the Comic Amy Rose is more of a competent badass, though).

Tails and Amy had some good banter in Archieverse and the few times they were allowed time to do stuff together as a duo, they were very cute and endearing and I loved them. 

Tails also had a lot more going on in terms of character development and backstory in Archieverse. Like, a lot more going on. He even had a “Chosen One” deal that sadly didn’t have a very good payoff, but. It’s more than what they really do with Tails in any other continuity.

Bear in mind, I started on these comics when I was eight or nine years old. Yet I followed this comic well into my late teens and even part of my early twenties, so you can tell Archieverse Sonic has shitloads of lore to it to have that long of an ongoing narrative. 

After Sonic Adventure was released, then the Sonamy shipping started to explode. Amy was front-and-center in the spotlight, Sally became the obscure figure in the fandom, and it’s more-or-less stayed that way ever since. 

But I was like “It’s okay! Tails and Amy are still tight in Archieverse! Sucks they have to adjust to Sega’s many changes but they’re still best buddies who’ll hopefully get married one day….” 

Then 25 Years Later happened and for some goddamned stupid-ass reason, Tails was paired with Mina the Mongoose and I believe Amy was suspiciously never ever mentioned in the future timeline stories (as Sonic and Sally did become endgame in this little series). 

Tails and Mina had little to no interaction, and Mina was largely there to be a potential Sonic love interest, and even after she moved on, she got together with another character and still didn’t interact with Tails. 

I was sooooooo pissed off. Archieverse was my one hope for Tails/Amy becoming a thing and they ruined it for me. :(

I did get a consolation prize in Geoffrey St. John x Hershey becoming so canon they actually did marry. That’s another one I shipped ever since they first interacted years and years ago.

Of course, Hershey was then “killed off” - and was set for a major comeback, but Ken Penders put a stop to that and had them both erased from reality because fuck Ken Penders, I actually got a nice thing and you yanked it right out of my hands.

Genis Sage x Mithos Yggdrasill from Tales of Symphonia, a ship I hardcore loved enough to write about. Also a ship I think Tumblr would burn me at the stake for shipping at all, but you know what? Fuck Genis x Presea. It’s a boring-ass puppy love ship that in its own right should be lambasted similarly according to anti logic. 

…. did I get sidetracked? I did? Pfff. Okay, let’s try and get to another question.

How I started shipping Stevidot?

Pretty simple story, really. I binged SU all the way up to Escapism (Change Your Mind hadn’t aired yet) last December/January. Also watched a looooot of Youtube clips. Most involving Peridot.

And inevitably, most involving Steven as well. 

When I started getting into Peridot and SU as a whole enough to seek out fanfiction and whatnot, I didn’t really have any set shipping preferences at first. But when I made myself think about it… honestly, Stevidot just felt the most natural to me. I wanted to see stories about antics with those two specifically - I never liked Lapidot and Amedot did nothing for me ever. So Stevidot was like, pretty much the only thing I really focused on after a while.

Then I found A Gem Like You. And suddenly, INSPIRATION! I developed headcanons for Watcher’s fic, I started reading as much Stevidot as I could, and I was convinced it was the best pairing in the world and fucking hell I need to give it some representation after I noticed how relatively niche it was in the fandom. 

And so, Stevidot consumed my soul for all time. I hope those clods are happy.

Rant about a ship, you say…

Good god, that really does need to be its own post. I have so much to say about various ships in general, I may need a bit to… uh, figure that out. Or throwing out some random ones I’d know about would help my focus, fff.

[famedroleplayarchive]

Below the cut are a lot of updates I wanted to combine in one post. Most of these are the results of the polls I ran the last two weeks, but there are a couple of smaller updates to things like the points shop or minor rule updates. I tried to be as concise as possible to keep the length from getting out of hand, so if there are any questions left unanswered, I will be happy to address them! I’ll try not to throw any major updates at everyone for a while unless I absolutely have to!

This has been a lot to change, so it’s possible I may have missed a thing or two on certain pages, so if you notice anything I overlooked, please message me and I’ll fix it!

AOA has been removed from Lipstick’s past discography

There are no longer any AOA songs in Lipstick’s past discography. These have been replaced mostly with older Girl’s Generation and After School songs, including “Genie”, which has now been specifically stated as their breakout hit. Two non-AOA songs were removed, but they’ll likely be released in the future, and “Catch Me If You Can” has been moved later to be their first release after their former main vocal’s depature. A vocal position was added to the main rapper and a sub vocal position was added to the maknae. You can find Lipstick’s new discography here and their old discography here in case you want to compare the changes.

Park Duri and Zhao Tian both had MV role past claims in AOA songs that are no longer possible, so if the muns of these muses would like to change to a different MV claim, please message me!

Lip Gloss has been updated and their past discography now consists only of Orange Caramel songs. Instead of receiving backlash at the end of 2017 for releasing a song meant for Lipstick following Goeun’s departure from the group, they received backlash for releasing “Lipstick”, amid fears of the name suggesting the sub-unit would be replacing the full group as fans were unsure of Lipstick’s future as a full group at the time. You can find Lipstick’s new discography here and their old discography here in case you want to compare the changes.

Queendom will be staying with Lipstick using Nine Muses/After School/SNSD-inspired stages, based on votes, and information about Queendom has been updated on Lipstick’s, 7ROPHY’s, and Aria’s monthly schedules.

IZ*ONE has been added to WISH’s future discography

This does not affect anything in the past or present, but WISH are planned to release their first IZ*ONE release next summer. The line distribution has been updated on WISH’s page.

Gugudan and Laboum have been added to Aria’s future discography

Again, this does not affect anything in the past or present. Aria are planned to release their first Laboum release next summer. The line distribution has been updated on Aria’s page.

iKon has added to Alien’s past and future discography, B.A.P has been removed

iKon songs have replaced the B.A.P songs previously in Alien’s discography, and Alien are planned to release their first future iKon release next summer. Alien still debuted with the concept of aliens from different planets coming together, but it’s mentioned that the concept wasn’t a big part of their group concept after they debuted. Alien’s success at debut was higher than previously described, with them being widely anticipated to become a top boy group until their lawsuit, at which point their domestic success greatly suffered and they’ve been working to recover since. A sub vocal position has been added to the maknae. You can find Alien’s new discography here and their old discography here in case you want to compare the changes.

Mamamoo has been added to Silhouette’s past and future discography, Fiestar has been removed

Mamamoo songs have replaced three of the four Fiestar songs previously in Silhouette’s discography. The other one has been removed without being replaced. Silhouette are planned to release their first future Mamamoo release near the beginning of 2021. A vocal position has been added to the main rapper position. You can find Silhouette’s new discography here and their old discography here in case you want to compare the changes.

Astro and VICTON have been added to Impulse

Astro and VICTON songs will now be released by Impulse in addition to GOT7 songs in the future. This does not affect their past discography, but positions have been updated to more accurately align with all groups and line distributions have been updated. No taken positions have had their assigned positions changed. Impulse will begin to be affected by Astro and VICTON schedules next year and they are planned to release their first future Astro release near the beginning of 2021.

Two Knight positions have been updated

Knight’s main dancer/vocal position has been partially merged with the former maknae/lead dancer/rapper position. This makes the latter position now maknae/main dancer/rapper/vocal. This has been discussed with the mun of the muse currently taking that position. The former main dancer/vocal position is now a vocal position. This is to more accurately reflect the fact that, with Lay’s absence from recent EXO release, that former position wasn’t getting highlighted as a dancer in the group with any of Knight’s three model discographies anymore. I did consider bringing Knight down to eight members, but having over a fourth of the group on permanent hiatus then felt like a little too much.

Photo shoot claims are no longer limited by face claim

Muses may now claim magazine shoot references outside of their face claim. These photo shoots must still be idol-appropriate. The claims rules regarding them have been updated, so those should be read before sending in a magazine claim, please!

Foreign acting claims have been added to the points shop

Foreign acting claims have been added to the points shop due to demand. This claim is available for acting in China, Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Thailand, or the Philippines in roles played by current or former K-pop idols in real life. Again, there are very specific rules for these, so the new foreign acting claims rules page should be read by anyone interested in making this claim. Prices and waiting period are higher than domestic acting claims due to being cast in foreign dramas and movies being rarer and solo overseas activities like that being more of a conflict with group schedules.

The nation’s title claim is once again available with a checklist and a list of claimable titles

The claim has been reinstated with the checklist I’ve already shown to anyone who asked, with only the addition of a required solo magazine cover and a bullet point about scandals being kept to a minimum or the requirement of significant additional image-shaping through claims being needed. There is now a definite list of available titles to keep titles realistic and limit the overall number of nation’s titles possible.

As mentioned to those I’ve already spoken to about the claim, the checklist is to ensure several factors including, but not limited to: significant development into individual fame for a muse, mun dedication and development of a muse (to prevent frequent claiming of and then dropping of titles), and title’s importance to character development.

Muns are still required to discuss their muse’s path with the main before trying to claim a nation’s title.

There are specific age, gender presentation, and career limits for some. Available titles may be added as seen fit. There is also now a set rule limiting the number of potential nation’s titles per group instead of a vague general guideline.

EDIT: There are tentatively three spots for “original” titles that haven’t been given to anyone in real life or are not listed as pre-set tiles, but these will be selective and must receive admin approval. They should be comparable to existing titles without directly overlapping with any. If it’s hard to find original titles that can be approved, this option may be removed.

Muses may now only claim an MC special stage the first time they MC a show

Since the special stages are meant to introduce MCs, they may now only be claimed the first time a muse MCs for that specific music show.

Conflicting information on points blog regarding creative claims on canon features has been fixed

I noticed there was conflicting information on the points blog regarding whether creative claims were available on canon features and have hopefully removed all conflicting information. Creative claims now can’t be claimed on canon song features, but any previous claims of this nature will not be affected if I had allowed it.

Points-claimed OSTs must now be claimed before a drama begins airing

A drama will now close off to OST claims once it begins airing like it closes off to acting claims.

A Youtube song promotion claim has been added

These types of videos were previously unclaimable and considered nebulously headcanonable but not able to be made explicitly canon or claimed as viral moments. Since some interest has been shown in being able to claim them so they can be further claimed as viral moments, I’ve added the ability to canonically claim a Youtube song promotion bundle of up to four videos. Please make sure to read the rules regarding this if you plan to make a claim for this!

Only one muse per mun may now have past acting claims

This does not affect muns who already have multiple muses with past acting claims, but from now on, only one muse per mun may take up a past claims acting spot, even if they have multiple soloist muses. This is to allow more muns to possibly include that as character backstory for a muse.

Two-point playlist requirements have been updated

The requirements to collect two points for a playlist have been updated to more accurately reflect what I’m looking for. The playlist can include either a 100+ word explanation or, only if the lyrics are directly applicable to the playlist, such as if you make a playlist of songs that lyrically describe your muse’s personality or lyrically describe their relationship with another much, highlighted lyrics may be used.

Songs should also not be repeatedly used over multiple playlists so that muns aren’t making very similar playlists in theme and/or content to stock up on points. There is some margin for error here as not everyone is expected to keep up with every song they’ve already used in a playlist, but please do your best to avoid this.

The weekly chart explanation on the Exclusive blog has been updated

Nothing has actually changed about how charting is calculated, but I attempted to remove information that wasn’t really helpful and overall better explain the factors that come into play.

[meteor752]

So...I just watched The Rise of Skywalker

And it was...a movie

Now, if you don’t want it spoiled, then don’t click keep reading, because I will immediately start after that.

Got it?

Good

Now that that’s out of the way

THERE IS A CANON LESBIAN COUPLE IN STAR WARS AND THEY SHARED A KISS, I AM DEAD

Sorry I just had to get that out of my system

I am not a movie critic, and for the most part I just enjoy a movie unless it bores me. But I have been saying that I will do this review, and I will, so I will just go over important part by important part.

Good?

Good.

The first scene

This is, hands down, my favorite scene in the movie. The way they introduced Palpatine and that we never really see his face in the scene is really menacing, but still oddly hilarious.

I mean, the man is hanging there quoting himself. He later literally said do it!! I’m surprised he didn’t start to tell the story of Darth plagueise the wise.

Plus, the fact that Kylo doesn’t want to join Palpatine and become his apprentice, but just kill him, is really cool to me. It shows a little different side of his character, that he wants to be his own and not just the next Vader.

Also, after Palpatine saying “I created Snoke”, there’s a blink and you’ll miss it moment of a deformed looking Snoke in a cubicle, so that’s that character's backstory. He was a failed clone all along!

Poe, Finn, Chewie & the Spy

The start of this scene is just pure fluff between our dear space husbands and their mom’s, husband's dog.

The revelation of the spy was cool, but I kinda immediately guessed that it would be either Hux or Phasma.

I really liked the chase scene, plus the banter between the characters. Character interaction is a thing I love in franchises, and this movie does a good job with it

Master Leia

I LIVE FOR LEIA TRAINING REY TO BE A JEDI

The Rey training scene though was...unnecessary, dunno why it was there.

Rey’s always been a kinda on-off character for me. I like her when she’s loose and chill instead of a “badass”. In this movie...I mean she has her moments, but for the most part I didn’t want her there

C-3PO, R2-D2 & BB-8

The fact that BB-9e wasn’t in this movie is a crime

I like Threepio, like most other fans, but he’s just like always been...there for me. In this movie though, holy shit did he shine!

To be quite honest, he was probably one of my favorite characters in it, just because he kept that lightheartedness in an otherwise angsty movie, with some occasional fluff.

What I really like about him is that they made this his movie! Artoo and BB-8 were barely in it, and when they were they didn’t do much, so Threepio could really shine! Literally, he’s made of gold. The latest eight movies he’s basically been bullied by every character on screen, no one really seems to like him (Poe did it in this movie, so it’s still a thing) but they gave him a lot of screentime and I like that!

I don’t like BB-8. He’s mostly there to sell toys, and I get that that’s what Star Wars is all about these days, but don’t make it obvious!! Cough, cough PORG!!!!

Artoo was underused as kriff in this movie. He did basically nothing, despite being one of the franchises most popular characters. My favorite moment in the movie however is when Wiped Threepio And Artoo reunite, and he actually sound HURT when Threepio doesn’t recognize him!! He calls him his best friend okay!?!?

Lando

!!!!

His introduction was so fricking cute! Chewie just went to hug him instantly, because that poor fluffy boy has lost enough!!

Threepio going to explain who he is, and Rey just going “We know who he is!” Is so heartwarming, like he’s a war hero! People idolize him that’s so cute!!!

Knights of Ren

Will get more into them in another section, but look really cool but really underused

Stormpilot, Jedipilot, Stormjedi & Stormjedipilot

Let’s get this over with

All three of the first ships are evident in this movie.

Rey and Poe arguing about BB-8 and The Falcon at the start of the movie...is basically all we get for Jedipilot but what’d you expect?

Poe making Finn general, their banter throughout the movie, the little very unnecessary fight they had, the reunion at the end of the movie-

THIS

Rey: So what were you going to tell me?

Finn: We’ll take it later

Poe: What, you mean when Poe’s not here?

YOU JEALOUS BRO???

Finn wanting to tell Rey something was most likely confessing some feeling for her, but then they survived and yeah, and it was fucking dropped?! Did JJ just forget about that???

Plus, I’ve never noticed this before, but Finn yells Rey’s name a lot.

The reunion hug between the three of them at the end of the movie is what kinda made me like Stormjedipilot. Poe and Rey holding their hands over Finn’s back while he buries his head into their shoulders, like yeah I like that.

Chewie’s “death”

I, to be honest, kinda wanted Chewbacca to die a little here. It would have made Kylo’s turn so much more compelling.

So it is my personal headcanon that Kylo did not know that Chewie wasn’t on that ship, and for a few minutes he actually thought that he, Uncle Chewie, had died. Because I couldn’t be the only one who saw a bit of pain on his face.

Kijimi

I first did not like Zorii, mostly because I thought she and Poe would have had a “relationship”.

Though, when Rey held a lightsaber against her throat, and she just impressively said “Not that it matters, but I like you.”

Gal, you GAAAAY

And also that twice, twice, Poe asks if they should kiss and she dismisses both tries, that I like. Good job movie, god job.

During the raid, you can hear female Stormtroopers, and I think that’s really cool. We’re in movie nine and first now does there exist female Stormtroopers that isn’t Phasma!!

Threepio’s wipe is sad and I liked it, but I feel that they made it a little too sad, considering it was afterwards mostly played as a joke and then they gave him his memories back

Hux the spy

Again, Chewie should have remained dead, but whatever.

I have no problem with Hux as the spy, I was just sitting in the theater mumbling ‘Fulcrum’ while my brother was looking at me weirdly, but what I don’t like is what they did with it.

For Hux just to be shot by some General we’ve never met before is just the equivalent of a letdown, especially since so many people like his characters. Including me, he’s one of the best parts of the Sequels!!

Rey Palpatine

Just so everyone knows, I saw this coming. I mean sure, I still liked the Qui’ra theory more, but when Palps started talking about how he knew who the girl was, then I was just like okay she’s a Palpatine.

What I don’t like is how they don’t talk at all of how this came to be. Like, I don’t even know which one of Rey’s parents who’s Palps child. Who the hell did he fuck?!?!

So yeah, whatever twist, bad execution.

Endor’s Stormtroopers

THIS SCENE IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHY I DON’T LIKE REY

They often do this in movies. Heroes have to do something, they can’t do anything at that moment so they have to wait, main Hero does it anyways.

IT’S ANNOYING AS HELL

Finn and the Ex Stormtrooper I can't remember the name of’s bonding moment was cute, but I just kept thinking to myself “Are they siblings? Because it wouldn’t be the first time this has happened,”

Finn getting mad at Poe is weird as shit and I don’t like it.

Dark Rey vs Rey

Huge letdown didn’t like it next

Rey vs Kylo, final battle

It was...fine, I guess. I like that Rey fucking stabbed him, that was cool.

Leia dying to redeem Kylo was dumb! I get that they needed to kill her off in a natural way and not just off-screen but come on!

Plus, if you would ask me, Kylo didn’t need a redemption arc. I think he should have died. As a bad guy.

Han Solo And Lightsaber Toss

Han Solo talking to Kylo was cool, though how does it work?? Was it a vision? Luke manipulations the force? Kylo only saw what he wanted to see?

That Kylo just tossed his lightsaber was symbolic and stuff, but a really stupid decision from his part. How are you gonna protect yourself now, huh? THE FORCE?!?!

Rey going into Exile

THIS SCENE WAS FUNNY AS SHIT!!

Just, Rey, thinking that every Jedi goes into exile, when they don’t feel like dealing with it anymore, and she’s fucking right!!! Yoda, Obi-Wan And Luke would be proud!!!!

Luke’s force ghost also has nearly identical hair to Anakin, which is adorable. Dunno how many that noticed that, since the people I’ve talked with about the movie didn’t, but that was literally all I could think about.

Knight Leia

When Rey picked up her lightsaber, my brother beside me was like “That’s Luke’s green one!” And I got mad because that’s not his lightsaber design at all. Know your facts bro!

That Leia was a Jedi is understandable, I mean was Luke not going to train her? But I’ve always seen her that she could use the force, but didn’t use a lightsaber because she’s badass.

I kinda also wanted her blade to be purple? I think it would have fit her much better, as she is probably the most balanced Jedi we’ve had for a while and she’s got a lot of anger that little Skywalker, but blue works fine I guess. Better than green.

Star Wars Endgame

I liked this scene, it was cool, Artoo got something to do, and Finn and Rose riding those horse thingies is an inside joke between those two at this point, convince me otherwise.

Lando And Chewie arriving though, and the First Order stating that they are “just people”, was really beautiful. Cool scene all and all.

Rey and Palpatine

Palps is still quoting himself! He fucking said “Do It” JJ knows what’s up!!

One thing that I’ve been trying to figure out since I saw the movie was what the hell was Palps’ goal? He said for Rey to strike him down (Said the same to Luke, is he suicidal??) and then he would become? Apart? Of her? What?

I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make any sense.

Kylo vs Knights of Ren

So these are Kylo’s guys, right? His inquisitors, per say.

Except these used to be Jedi, his clanmates, his friends.

So why the kriff did they all turn against him like that?? AND WHY DID HE JUST FIGHT THEM BLINDLY DUDE THESE WERE YOUR FRIENDS!!

If I could have changed anything in this movie that has nothing to do with ships, then it would be that at least ONE of the knights would have supported Kylo and not just blindly turned against him.

Though I must say, Rey giving Kylo Luke’s lightsaber through their bond, was pretty badass.

Palpatine steals Kylo and Rey’s bond

The. Fuck.

WHAT KIND OF FORCE POWER IS THAT?!?!

IF YOU CAN JUST STEAL A JEDI’S FORCE BOND, WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THAT WITH ANAKIN AND OBI-WAN PALPS?!?!? HUH?!?!?!

But for real, stupid decision, could have gone without it.

Jedi Rey vs Sith Palps

It was cool, a cool moment, I sat excitedly and whispered to my brother all the voices I recognized, I think Ahsoka could be heard??

...

I looked it up and yeah her voice is there, which means that she’s dead R.I.P Snips.

One of the better scenes of the movie, though I think it’s cheating because of nostalgia and love for these characters.

(I LOOKED UP WHICH THE VOICES WERE, AND WE’VE GOT FRICKING AAYLA SECURA, LUMINARA UNDULI, ADI GALLIA AND KANAN JARRUS!!!)

Reylo

*Sigh*

Ya know, I really hoped this wouldn’t happen. I almost wanted to skip this, and really make all the Reylo fans mad.

But I have to talk about this.

This kiss, should not have happened.

Now if you are a Reylo shipper, that’s good for you, I ship way stranger things than that, but to actually make it canon?!?!

Kylo having a crush or something for Rey? Sure, I can understand that’s he’s pretty much obsessed at this point. But for Rey, badass Rey who is pretty lesbian, to have feelings for Kylo? THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP PEOPLE!!

And that they made a toxic relationship canon, but not a gay one, really says something about Star Wars doesn’t it.

Death of Kylo

I laughed out loud during this scene. Not joking, people around me were annoyed. And that his clothes didn’t disappear? Is Kylo a naked force ghost? Did he do that for Rey?

Wait

Don’t answer.

Happy Rebels

The Lesbian couple that kissed was obviously queerbaiting, and you should never praise that, but that is probably all we will get Gays, so let’s just take it and cry on the inside.

Is that Stormtrooper gal Lando’s daughter? Because my brother whispered that to me, and I got those vibes too. Or is she way older than what she looks like and we were supposed to see her as a love interest?

The hug was cute.

Rey Skywalker

I will never accept this as canon ever.

To see the moisture farm again was nice, I liked that.

And for Rey to finally have her own lightsaber, and a yellow one too (I read a fanfic where she had a yellow one, was that like pre-seen??).

But the Skywalker thing...eh.

I would have found it cute if she’d said Rey Palpatine, as if she’d embraced her origin and decided that the name Palpatine isn’t just to be afflicted with the emperor, but also with her, the last Jedi.

Also, did she go into exile? Because damn, those Jedi do that a lot!

All in all, I liked this movie! I wasn’t bored a single bit while watching it, as there was always something going on, and I like when that happens. I don’t think that had happened since Empire with a Star Wars movie.

It isn’t in my top three, but it’s up there, and better than The Last Jedi.

Though I must say, they did take some things from Return of the Jedi and put it in this movie, specifically the ending.

Though I must say, and don’t hate me for this, it was better than Return of the Jedi okay bye

[fmdivy]

thirty days of development: ivy

Everybody needs a little poison ivy

+ Day One: Introduce your muse. Are they solo or in a group? What is their position in the group? Consider this day the day for writing the basics.

Kang Yumi is a vocal and dance soloist with Dimensions. Both her persona and real life personality are reserved, but that is where the similarities end. Yumi is kind and warmhearted. She is also demisexual, so any sexual encounters are only after she has developed an emotional connection. Ivy, however, is bolder. She is sexy, cold, and cool. People see her as something untouchable, even though that is far from the truth.

+ Day Two: Talk about your muse’s childhood. Where did they grow up? Did they have any dream jobs besides being an idol? When did they realize they wanted to be an idol?

Yumi was raised on a rice farm in Pocheon, South Korea. She has very humble origins and has never lost sight of where she came from. As a kid, all she wanted was to be a professional ballerina. Really, to this day, she would be perfectly happy being one. She really only became an idol because it was an opportunity to dance and to make money for her impoverished family. However, she loves it now. Really, it was the best accident ever.

+ Day Three: Take us back to when your muse was either recruited or auditioned to become an idol. How did that go? How did they feel getting up on stage for recruiters? If your muse could give their younger selves advice before the audition, what would they say?

Yumi was recruited when she was fifteen years old. She was doing a performance with her ballet class in her hometown and there happened to be a scout for Dimensions in the audience. Really, that was about as much of an audition as they needed. She was a very skilled dancer and also, in all honesty, she partially got recruited because she was just that pretty. Yumi would probably go back and tell her younger self that it would be okay, that all those hard times were worth it. Also, that being in love really sucked.

+ Day Four: Remember the trainee days? What are some of your muse’s memories of being a trainee? How long were they a trainee? Were they worried about potentially not making a debut? Talk about any challenges they might have encountered.

Being a trainee was a complicated time for Yumi. She was living in a big city for the first time in her life, away from her immediate family. Yumi was mostly very focused during her time as a trainee. If she wasn’t dancing or singing, she was doing homework. Her parents gave her aunt strict orders to make sure Yumi focused on her work because there was definitely a chance this would not work out. She hung out with a lot of the fellow dance obsessed people because they respected her dedication, but there was a lot of jealousy. Yumi was worried about not making a debut because that would have meant she wasted a few years she could have been auditioning for dance schools. She would have still been happy doing ballet. The biggest challenge for her was practicing her vocals because she had absolutely no vocal training beforehand. It was honestly much more difficult than learning all the different dance styles, which was a lot more natural for her.

+ Day Five: Recall your muse’s debut. What was the song they debuted with? How did it feel performing for the first time on stage as an idol? Feel free to bring up their thoughts about the concept, choreography, lyrics, music video, or other components. 

This is a bit of a complicated question because Yumi technically debuted twice. Her first debut was with Nebula (which has no official discography, though I picture it kind of Chocolat because underappreciated beans who had good intentions, even if it did not pan out well, and they deserve the love; my headcanon is they first performed Syndrome probably though). Her first time on stage as an idol was with the rest of Nebula. The concept was fine with her. She liked the music and the outfits, though they were not exactly teeming with star power. Her second debut was different because yes, Nebula had some sexier comebacks, but as Ivy, she was full on sexy. The dancing was hella sensual. She appreciated the fluidity with which she had to perform though. Honestly, she preferred her second debut. At least no one was trying to trip her during Irreversible. 

+ Day Six: What concept does your muse think they can pull off best? Cutesy? Manly? Sexy? What concept do they have a hard time pulling off? What kind of concept would they want to do at some point?

After having the same concept for a decade, Yumi does not have any complaints. Reserved and sexy is fine with her, though she is sometimes amused when people realize she is asexual. For Yumi, it is a part of her image as Ivy to be sensual. She doesn’t feel one way or another. Quite honestly, a cutesy concept would be very hard for her at this point. She is not very outgoing in that way and way too shy.

+ Day Seven: Which era is your muse’s favorite in their career? Why is it their favorite (think concept, promotions, choreography, etc.)? If your muse has recently debuted, talk about what they would want to do for their next comeback.

If we are discussing the classics, Yumi really liked the Full Moon era. She has never quite captured that otherworldly vampireness again. It was quirky and different; she liked it. Also the costuming was gorgeous for it. She is proud that a lot of people still consider it a bop. Of course, she has a soft spot for Gashina. The song was catchy and she appreciated the artistic approach they took. The choreography was a lot more fluid than she got to do in a while, so she has no complaints. Honestly, if she could incorporate ballet in a music video, she would be golden.

+ Day Eight: Talk about your muse’s strengths and weaknesses as an idol. Feel free to discuss their own personal thoughts regarding these components. Think of qualities such as vocals, dancing, visuals, acting skills, and variety show skills, for example.

Yumi is a decent actress. She has these moments of earnestness on screen that really make her shine. However, she doesn’t have the widest range. She can play bitchy characters or shy girls. That is about it. But, she is good at it and brings a maturity to certain roles. Her dancing and vocals are both very prominent, though she was a bit rougher on the latter earlier in her career. She will never be a rapper, though. Her variety skills are also non-existent unless it is based on performing (like King of Masked Singer). She is friendly, but just not the most compelling to watch joke around with the hosts. 

+ Day Nine: What is your muse’s fashion style? Talk about what kind of clothes they love to wear. To them, what is the essential thing to have in their closet? What is their favorite outfit?

Yumi was very confused about clothing when she moved to Seoul because yes, she had opinions, but it did not matter that she had opinions. She had to wear whatever her older sisters no longer fit into. Her preference is flowing dresses and wide brimmed hats. She likes summer best, especially now that she is not working in fields. She is also down to wear some plaid button downs and jeans if she has to do labor (but, she never really has to do that unless she decided to help her family when she goes back home because she is not a lazy bum). However, people very much want to put her in little black dresses or sparkles. She doesn’t mind. In the winter, she likes heavy wool coats because she gets cold very easily. 

+ Day Ten: Talk about your muse’s three closest friends. How did they meet? How long have they known each other? What do they love most about their friends?

Yumi is friends with a lot of people younger than her because they just gravitate towards this very friendly noona/unnie who is willing to help them navigate the entertainment industry. She usually meets them while acting or backstage at variety shows. She even makes it a policy to get to know her backup dancers and the trainees that dance with her. They are usually a bit excitable, but she thinks it is cute. She is also friends with people her age in the industry because old people need to stick together. Yumi is still close with her sisters as well, calling them whenever she has a chance. There are six of them though, so it is a bit hard to coordinate a group phone call. Usually, she has to go one by one.

+ Day Eleven: Has your muse had any scandals? How have these scandals affected your muse as an idol or as a person? If your muse has not had any scandals, talk about their views on scandals. Is all publicity good publicity?

Despite her image, Yumi has not had any public scandals. However, she got dangerously close when she became engaged. Off-screen, it was the first time she had ever given the company any sort of trouble. Sure, she was off a reasonable enough age to get married but her doing so would have killed the fantasy for many people. So, she would have likely have to leave Dimensions at the very least and rebrand with a new concept, unless she was willing to question the sexism within the industry. She doesn’t really hold people’s scandals against them unless they are less “I smoked drugs once” and more “Burning Sun”. For her, it is all about the product/effort you put into your work. If you are good at your job, why should your personal life be a big deal?

+ Day Twelve: If your muse is in a group, what are the fun things about promoting with other members? What do they love about being in a group? What do they love about their members? If your muse is a solo artist, what are their thoughts on promoting alone? What do they love about being solo?

Promoting with the other members of Nebula was never fun, especially since Yumi was always comparing herself to the others. She did not feel as talented as some of them at times, though, her hard work changed that. There is not a single member she looks back at fondly. Promoting was a nightmare and Yumi mostly just read books while they traveled. Or, she watched dance practice videos so she could incorporate her observations while practicing alone later. She does not mind promoting alone because she is such a reserved person. She wouldn’t mind spreading the attention on the actual stage, but she is so used to it at this point, she does not mind. Plus, it is admittedly nice to have no one impeding her spark.

+ Day Thirteen: For the muses in a group, what are the challenges of being one of several people in a group? Have there been any troubles that have come along with being in a group environment and times they wish they were alone? For the solo artist muses, have you ever felt lonely promoting alone? Do you ever wish that you were in a group instead?

Yumi sometimes wonders if she just got unlucky with Nebula because plenty of other groups are out there actually practicing camaraderie and supporting each other through all their comebacks. She really wishes she could have had that experience, especially when she has to lie in front of the camera about her time in Nebula. Honestly, everyone probably knows things were not good between her and the rest of the girls, but Yumi is not going to be the one to bring it to light. It was over a decade ago; it is time to move on. She likes being a solo artist just because it gives her a bit more versatility. They can play a bit with her comebacks and don’t have to coordinate with anyone else. She might get a little lonely promoting alone, but she has a real good crew to keep her company at least.

+ Day Fourteen: If your muse is in a group, how do you think they would have fared had they had a solo career instead? What kind of concept would they have? If your muse is a solo artist, how do you think they would have fared if they were in an idol group? What position of the group do you think they would have? 

Yumi has been a part of both so far. Had she been a part of a nicer group, she might not have strove to be as strong vocally (dancing was always going to be her main goal), but she would have probably been better adjusted for most of her life. If some type of  Unnies-esque group would form she would be down. She would have preferred a main dancer position in Nebula, but she was young and still had to learn. As a soloist, she doesn’t mind her concept, would probably not be against something more artsy. 

+ Day Fifteen: Who does your muse look up to in the industry? Why do they look up to this person?

At this point in life, Ivy is the one you look up to in the industry; there aren’t many people older than her within it. Though she has remained with Dimensions for years, she really does not think much of her C.E.O. (she has been a part of the Dimensions system; she watched a lot of people crumble under it, though she herself was never really a victim). She usually avoids his nephew as well because lord knows she will not be accused of dating the guy she basically works for. No, for her, it is all about Bang Sunyoung. She is an actor, a dancer, and started an entire empire. The two of them are not that far apart in age, so Ivy would kill to collaborate with her, though it would probably never happen. Honestly, had Gold Star Media been more established by the time Nebula had been disbanded and had Dimensions not offered Ivy a solo, there would have been a good chance Ivy would have found herself working for Gold Star.

+ Day Sixteen: If your muse could do a special stage with another artist or idol group, who would it be and why? What song would they perform?

Aside from her majesty Sunyoung, Ivy would enjoy doing a special stage with Lucid. She likes their darker concept more than their bubblier concept, and it would be easy enough to coordinate considering they are within the same company. Besides, she likes supporting her dongsaengs. She wouldn’t mind doing any of those singles since they are in fact very impressive dance numbers as well. But, she could also see them performing Full Moon or some type of mashup. 

+ Day Seventeen: How would your muse fare in a variety show? If your muse could appear on any variety show, which variety would it be and why? If you don’t have a lot of knowledge of variety shows, talk about what kind of variety show they would go on.

Watching Yumi on a variety show is an experience, for sure. She is great at performing, but is not the best public speaker. She needs practice and honestly, it is her least favorite part of being an idol. As an actor, she follows the lines religiously. So, she is never great if all that is involved is talking or being generally silly. She is good at variety shows that involve competition and less ad-libbing. Yumi would dominate in King of Mask Singer or Dancing with the Stars. She likely performed when Hit the Stage was on air as well.  

+ Day Eighteen: What entertainment agency is your muse a part of? What do they think of other groups and artists that are in the same agency as them? Which labelmates do they get along with the most, excluding group members?

Yumi is a member of Dimensions Entertainment, which has somewhat of a sketchy reputation for how it treats its trainees. She respects the other artists in the agency and likes to look after the younger idols. While she does like all the groups well enough, it is no secret that her favorite group is Lucid. They are newer than a lot of groups within the industry. Plus, she also respects that they are taking risks with their music and the complex choreography. If any of them asked to perform with her or to have them take her under their wing, she would do it in a heartbeat.

+ Day Nineteen: Is there anything besides idol activities that your muse would want to do? Would they want to take their hand at hosting a variety show or act in a television show or drama? Would they want to try out modeling or a musical? If they have done things such as these, talk about their thoughts toward these things.

Yumi became an actor out of convenience. She wanted to make sure she stayed in the spotlight long enough to make it to her next comeback. Really, if there was an idol option of doing ballet, she might have considered that. The only reason she did not do modeling was because she was sure she would have definitely been bored doing; also, she does not like using only her looks for anything. Her first role at least had a decent amount of dancing and using her skills as a vocalist. Really, that was probably why she got the role despite her lack of acting experience.  Since then, she has gotten better and is coveted for more mature roles. The genre does not always matter, as people just like that she is willing to step outside the box and challenge patriarchal norms.

+ Day Twenty: If your muse was able to be a part of a supergroup that comprised of current idols, who would they want to be in the same group and why? What kind of concept would this group have? How do you think the group would do in terms of popularity?

It might be interesting to do a supergroup full of other members of Dimensions Entertainment. She is fine with a co-ed one, but an all-girl group could definitely be empowering. The concept would be something dance based (because of course it is) and fun. Maybe a little edgy or experimental. They would probably not do many comebacks, but it could be interesting to keep the fans interested during breaks. Some group members would be more popular than others, but Ivy would look after everyone.

+ Day Twenty-One: How does your muse feel about their fans? How do they feel about sasaeng fans? How would they handle a situation in which they were faced with obsessive fans that followed them or invaded their privacy? If they’ve had problems with sasaeng fans before, how did they feel about it?

Yumi likes inspiring people, particularly women. Really, at the end of the day, isn’t that what part of her image is about? Much more than a sexy icon? However, she doesn’t really mind people being attracted to her. So, she is always probably kindest to her fans. However, she does not handle saesangs well. Yumi will not let anyone invade her privacy or her personal space.  She would probably deal with it in a mature manner, such as reporting it to Dimensions or the police. Maybe hire some protection if she was feeling physically endangered. However, she can certainly take care of herself if in imediate danger, she just would not want to do any damage to her reputation or her image. She has not really had any problems with saesangs so far, thankfully, but she has a feeling that is mostly because the company is good at handling it.

+ Day Twenty-Two: Talk about your muse’s goals that they have for their group or themselves if they are a solo artist. Where would they want to promote if given the chance? Do they want to do a solo album at one point? This can be any sort of professional goal.

Yumi would like to earn a Nation’s Title one day because that would be a sign that she most definitely made it. Of course, she would prefer if it was something based on her talents and not because she is super sexy. But, beggars can’t be choosers. She would like to promote in Latin America as Gashina had very heavy Latin vibes. She thinks she could do well there and the different cultures sound interesting. 

+ Day Twenty-Three: What is your muse’s thoughts on being an idol and dating? Are they against dating? Have they ever been in a relationship after debuting? If so, talk about the challenges that have come along with dating. If they aren’t dating, would they want to date?

So, because Yumi is demisexual and a workaholic, dating has never been high on her list of priorities. She never dated as a trainee the only dated very sporadically as an idol. To her, hiding relationships is just part of the job. They all know what they are getting into and need to be careful to follow those rules. Of course, she was engaged so she was fully prepared to accept those consequences. It does hurt her that sometimes, difficult decisions must be made. She is not currently seeing anyone seriously, as it never ends well. But, that is also the only type of relationship she likes. 

+ Day Twenty-Four: Who is your muse’s ideal type? Why is this person their ideal type? 

Yumi’s real ideal type is just someone motivated and kind to her. Her dad was incredibly respectful to her mother, so she could never be with someone who did not treat her as an equal partner. Younger or older, she is not particular, but she does consider herself an old soul, so that constantly gets in the way. In terms of attractiveness, she tends to focus less on physical appearance and more on the emotional connection

+ Day Twenty-Five: What does your muse want to be remembered for in the idol world? Do they want to be remembered for their vocal prowess? Their image? Their dancing skills? Their scandals?

Yumi is proud of how she has improved in her vocal skills over the years. She is good and she knows it. She earned it. However, if she were to pick one thing to be praised for it would be her dancing ability. She has worked her entire life to become the best dancer she can and has sacrificed a lot to do so. Looking back, she has spent the past twenty-something years dancing. It shows and she wants to be recognized for it. If she is also praised for her female empowerment that would be the icing on the cake. She definitely does not want to be known as someone with a lot of scandals. That would hurt her deeply, because she worked so hard to remain in line and to dedicate herself to her craft.

+ Day Twenty-Six: Does your muse ever regret becoming an idol? Do they ever think about what they would be doing instead if they lived a normal life? If they could go back in time, would they do everything all over again? Or would they end up doing something else?

Ultimately, Yumi does not regret being an idol. In her mid twenties, she did wonder if she should have stayed the course and become a professional ballerina. It would probably not have involved as much financial security and would have not given her as much mainstream attention, but it was her dream for so long. Now, she likes how her career turned out. For her, there has never been anything more important than dancing, so if she can continue to keep that up, she is fine with whatever career she has. When she was engaged, she did contemplate if she could ever live a normal life. She does want to get married and raise some children (even if say, she married a woman and had to fly to Taiwan to do so). But, she wants to keep working amid it all. Ultimately, she does not regret the decision she made to become Ivy.

+ Day Twenty-Seven: After working hard on promotions, your muse is given the chance to take a two week vacation anywhere in the world at any time they want, with nobody bothering them. Where would they go and when? Why would they want to take their vacation there? If they had the opportunity to bring three other people, who would they bring?

Yumi is not a very difficult person to please. She honestly does not know what to do with her time off, so she usually takes on an acting gig or a commercial or something, just so she can keep working. If she had forced time off, Yumi would go back to the farm to hang around with her parents and her siblings in the area. Some of them have children and she would love to hang out with her niblings. They seem to be the only people who know how to force her to stop for a moment and enjoy herself. She would probably end up helping in the fields anyways though. It would be considered a compromise. As for who she would bring, it would have to be a romantic partner or very close friends, because otherwise she would rather go solo.

+ Day Twenty-Eight: Talk about your muse’s low point in life. Why was this a low point in their life? What kind of challenges did they face and how did they feel about this? Were they able to overcome it? If it is still ongoing, are they working on overcoming these challenges? 

The lowest point in Yumi’s life was when her engagement was broken off. It is funny, she never thought she would feel worse than she did when the girls of Nebula bullied her, but that moment surpassed it easily. She had trusted someone so deeply and had every intention of potentially giving up the career she worked so hard for in the name of love. And they did not care. They broke her heart and left her shattered to pieces on the ground. Had she not been reawakened by Gashina, she is not sure she would have ever recovered. Still, she definitely has a whole different set of issues with intimacy now, particularly romantic intimacy.

+ Day Twenty-Nine: Talk about your muse’s most meaningful moment as an idol. This is what they feel so far is the highest point in their life and where they’ve never been happier. Recall the memory and describe it; what happened and how did they feel? 

Yumi’s most meaningful moment as an idol probably when she released her solo debut. It was incredibly meaningful for her that someone had recognized how hard she had worked and how much she had to offer. Really, that is probably one of the reasons she has stuck with Dimensions for so long, despite their questionable reputation. After all, they gave her the gift of a career. They gave her a shot and they have never abandoned her, even when she was thinking of getting married (though they certainly asked her often enough if she was sure about the whole thing). Really, it is something she will never forget.

+ Day Thirty: Think about your muse’s life down the road. Where would they be and what would they be doing? Would they still be in the entertainment industry? Would they settle down and have a family?

In like another twenty years, Yumi will definitely still be working in the industry. She will probably be acting as the mother in kdramas or maybe even a grandmother later down the line. She will have a family and probably has cut back hours for the kids. She would not mind working as a mentor for Dimensions or another idol company. If not, she would probably open a dance studio and intensively teach some kids. She knows her life as an idol at that point will probably be over, especially because of her image, but that is fine with her. She just wants to keep doing what she loves in some way. Plus, she is sure she had some good years.

[clevernewdimension]

Polaris Part Twelve (M)

Parts: Preview, Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen (Coming soon!)

Genre: Action, drama, romance, sci-fi, etc.

Paring: Jongin x Character

Word count: 5.9K

A/N: I have a lot going on y’all. TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR: mentions of rape, pedophilia, sexual abuse, and sexual assault. Violence, blood, attacks, etc. And finally some SMUT

I frown, feeling very weird and awkward dressed like this. We were waiting at the table for Arham and Celieste Winters who were running a bit late. Which was fine as it was giving me some time to try to calm myself. Jongin seemed fine, calm and collected. Around the cuff of his suit coat there was a small fighter ship that would light up and fly around it twice before doing into a ‘dive’ off the cuff itself. Something tells me Sehun had a hand in his suit as well.

He glances at me, smiling before shaking his head as I nervously tap my fingers on the table. “I feel just… so out of place here,” I mumble quietly.

“Well, other than your very obvious nerves, you look like you do,” Jongin says, taking a sip of the glass of water we both have. “Though, I know you’d rather be in the hanger right now.” He shrugs, giving me a look of pity, “Sorry. If I wasn’t the one who had to be by your side for now, you’d probably wouldn’t have to be here.”

“I can pretend to be something other than a grease monkey for a day or two,” I say, shrugging. I look past Jongin, seeing two people approach. She smiled, stark white hair pinned back. She wore a red dress, that was tight to her body going almost to the floor. On her arm was a man, his suit was black, pin stripes as his black hair looked like a mess that he ran his hand though a lot throughout the day. He was tanned, glasses on his face as he was smiling brightly.

I stand, and Jongin takes the hint, standing and turning. He smiles, sticking out a hand.

“Captain Kim,” Arham says, shaking his hand as I take Celieste’s hand and shake it. “Nice to put a face to the name. Hope you both haven’t been waiting long.”

“We’ve been here for only about five minutes,” He says, smiling, “And please, just Jongin!”

He nods, before reaching a hand out towards me, “Miss. Lang! Pleasure to make your acquaintance!”

I take his hand, shaking it. “Nice to meet you both. Thanks for… making time to have dinner with us?”

Celieste smiles, “It’s ok, no need to be nervous. We’re legitimately here just to introduce ourselves. We’ll talk shop about security about the elections coming up tomorrow.”

“We’re big believers of meeting people and getting to know them before getting into business,” Arham says, nodding. “People are interesting, especially when they’re from galaxies away.”

Jongin gestures to the table, “Shall we order?”

We take out seats, a waiter coming and getting our orders. I got the blanquette de veau, and the waiter suggested I pair it with a Marsannay wine.

Celieste was sitting to my left, Jongin to my right as I tap my fingers on my thighs in nerves. I was so out of my element. Name a Fighter part and I could tell you where it goes but this is just bizarre for me.

“So, I have to admit,” Celieste says, “As the head of security, I did look up both of you beforehand.”

“I hope our files were kind,” Jongin says with a nod, taking a sip of water.

“I was very impressed, honestly,” She says, before looking at me. “I can’t believe you managed to be the gunner during the attack of Ysimir. I can’t imagine how terrifying that must be.”

“I was trained for it,” I say, nodding, “But it was terrifying. I’ve been in a Fighter before but Jongin flies like if he were to stop going full throttle at any moment the Fighter would explode.”

“I mean, it’s worked,” Jongin smiles.

“I also saw you’re from Tribil,” She says, resting her chin on one of her hands. “I’ve worked with Tribil for securing a safe shipment here. They’re… well, not exactly pleasant.”

“The Tribian monarchy isn’t exactly known to be good to work with,” I say, “Be it to other planets or their own people.”

“I’m glad you agree,” She says with a smile.

“We don’t get a lot of traffic from Tribil either,” Arham says, “Some planets are like that. Keep to themselves.”

“Yeah,” I say, not wanting to say anything about the marks just yet. With the royalty on the planet, it’s best to keep that secret a secret for the time being. Who knows if they’d go scorched Earth if it gets out.

“I’m also sorry to hear about your Father, Jongin,” Celieste says. “I can’t believe someone would betray you and your brothers like that.”

Jongin frowns, “Trust me, he hasn’t been a father to us for years after we left. We really didn’t have much to lose in that department.” I could see the hidden anger there, at the mention of General Kim. I can’t imagine how he feels, knowing his own family wanted him dead. Must be complicated, as their relationship is.

“It must still be traumatic, though,” She says, a look of genuine worry on her face. She seemed like a good person, though highly curious.

“I’m just glad that their plans were discovered before it was too late,” He says. “I’ve worked all my life trying to defend people, and I want to continue to do so, even if it comes at a personal cost.”

I smile sadly at that. Always the self sacrificing hero, Jongin is. For once I wish he’d do something for himself instead.

“That’s very noble of you,” Arham says, nodding.

And it is. Jongin is actually very noble. I feel like anyone who’s ever read about him thinks he’s like the act he use to put up around me. Truthfully most of the time when he talks about being the best Fighter pilot, it’s in a factual way. Sometimes he jokes, but it’s never conceited in nature anymore.

Celieste shakes her hand, “Enough with the sad topics. So, Jongin, please, tell us about yourself.”

“Well, when I’m not flying, I’m training with my friend Yixing,” He says, “My hand to hand isn’t as great as his.”

“You have to have something outside of work to do. I find myself feeling trapped without hobbies.”Arham says, smiling. “I use to be a workaholic. That did nothing but give me gray hairs.” He just smiles at Jongin, gesturing to the small amounts of pepper he has in his black hair. “Just some advice from an old man.” He nods. “But,  do you have anyone special in your life,” Arham asks,

“Not exactly,” Jongin says, smiling a bit awkwardly. “Been a bit busy for a relationship.”

I feel my face heat up a bit at that. I could feel Celieste’s gaze on me at that.

Arham looks to me. Before he could speak, I start, “I’m mostly in the hanger, fixing anything and everything I can get my hands on. When I’m not doing that, I mostly read.” My face goes redder, “And um… also single.”

“Life doesn’t wait,” Celieste says, “Sometimes you have to find some happiness for yourself. Putting work ahead your whole life will make time waste away.” She grabs her husband’s hand, “I almost let him escape from me because of my job. But thankfully I had a friend who made me realize what I would be giving us.”

He smiles, lightly squeezing her hand back.

Just as she said that, the food arrives. We eat, talking about the dinner and sipping the wine. The one I had was very fruity. Delicious, but not too much. The conversations shifted to current politics in both the Syndicate and on Earth. Jongin was much more knowledgeable about Earth politics than I was, as I remained quiet and just took all the information in.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what they said. About letting life waste away. I know Jongin loves me, but I haven’t made any moves at all out of fear, I guess. I’ve never really been that open to anyone. To be in love and in a relationship with a person, you have to be vulnerable to them. It’s not like I didn’t trust Jongin. I do. I’m just scared of being weak to anyone, I suppose. That and I was scared I’d hurt him. Especially after what he’s been though recently.

Soon, the dinner was over as we were walking outside. The night was cool, as we waved goodbye to them. It was nice. They seemed like good people, honestly.

Jongin smiles, looking at the sky. “Wanna take a walk before heading back to the hotel? I’ll make sure you don’t fall.”

“Alright,” I say, looping my arm though his, “But if I sprain my ankle, you’ll never hear the end of it.”

Jongin laughs, “I believe it.”

I take a deep breath, looking around at the people passing by. This part of town more upper class, but you still see a bar or pub filled with people, happily drinking. The lake ahead of us as we take a seat on a bench, seeing the Geneva Water Fountain shooting water over a hundred meters into the air. From this far away you can just barely hear it over the city life as I stretch.

“You seem better now,” Jongin says, sitting next to me as he sets his jacket beside him.

“I’m just happy not to be like… interviewed anymore,” I mumble, taking my shoes off, not caring that we’re in the city. I massage the bottom of my foot, before frowning, “Besides, it means I get away from… Rhys.”

“Iz wha tri monsil, tri kree tu mo,” Jongin says, the words sounding vaguely musical. “For them to force you back, they’ll have to kill me.”

“Don’t tempt them,” I quietly mumble to myself.

Jongin’s hand touches my shoulder softly. “If it would stop them, it would be worth it.”

“I forgot you also have better hearing,” I whisper, hearing him laugh. “But please don’t. I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt.”

“And I wouldn’t be able to if I had to know what they are forcing you to do.” Jongin looks me in the eyes, turning to face me. “I already feel guilty because I know that you still can’t let go of what Minjung made you do.”

“It’s like being in prison in your own mind,” I explain, thinking back. “I wanted desperately for that kiss to never end because I know once it did I couldn’t stop from shattering your heart and possibly murdering you.”

Jongin shakes he head, “Funny,” Jongin says, smirking but with more of a playful undertone than a conceited one, “I never wanted it to end either, but for completely different reasons.”

I feel my face heat up, dropping the subject as I just look out at the water again. We kept silent, enjoying a rare moment of peace we have. What Celieste said came about to me. About letting things pass by and love go away. I bite my lip, looking at the fountain. Jongin deserves to be happy. I deserve that too.

A hand on my arm pulled me from my thoughts. “Best get back,” Jongin suggests, “We don’t have an early day tomorrow, just a kind of stressful one.” Soon, I was putting my shoes on, Jongin taking his jacket and we walk back to the hotel.

I kick of my shoes instantly, yanking pins out of my hair and letting it fall down. I take out the earrings as I watch Jongin take his shoes off too.

I take a deep breath, seeing him like that. He was extremely handsome, dressed up like that. But he always looked the most handsome to me when he was in his flight suit, looking up at the sky with a huge grin. Jongin deserves to be happy. I deserve to be happy. We make each other happy. So why are we just dancing around this and not acting on it? Are we going to let something like what happened taint what could be forever?

I shake my head to myself, “Not this time,” I whisper. I turn, seeing Jongin. He looked at me, hearing what I said and looked confused. Perhaps it was the small amount of wine giving me some courage, but I move, stepping close to him. He looks at me and before he could say anything, I stand on the tips of my toes. My hands holding his face and I press my lips to his quickly. The kiss was quick, my fave heating up before I part. I look in his eyes, “I kissed you because she told me last time, and I’m angry that she stole that from me.” I shake my head, “Forget that one happened. That one… think of this instead.” My face was burning in a blush, the nerve coming up as I let myself ramble, “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while and I never realized and I don’t want that fucking one to be the one y-”

Jongin’s hands pull me closer, lips on mine, pressing in what was almost desperation. I could practically feel the passion in him, like it was radiating from his body. My hands move running though his silky hair, holding it as I hear him let out a small groan from that. He pulls away, “Lyra, please,” He says, and I could see how vulnerable he was. He looked almost scared as he looked me in my eyes. “If you’re not serious about this, my heart can’t take it,” Jongin quietly says, “If this is just… casual or just for fun, please don’t give me hope about this if you’re not serious.”

“You fucking idiot,” I mutter. “Ever since you’ve dropped the act I’ve found myself actually liking the person you really are.” I shake my head, “I’ve been in denial for a while about my feelings for you.” I smile, “I love you, Jongin. I don’t know for how long, but there’s no denying it anymore.” He smiles the most brilliant smile I’ve ever seen. Like a huge weight has been lifted from him. The sight made my heart soar, making me smile even bigger in response. I shake my head as I tighten my grip on his hair a little, “Now, if you don’t take this dress off me and show me how much you want this, I’m going to rage.”

He looked stunned hearing that, before his hands reach back, pulling the zipper down quickly. “Don’t have to tell me twice, Baby,” He mutters, pushing the dress down my body. I shiver, the warm dress falling to the floor. I feel my face flush, knowing I was half naked in front of him. I reach forward, pulling his tie off and ripping his shirt open. His lips press to mine, like they were molded to be fit together. It feels wonderful, it feels just so fucking right.

I didn’t have a chance to appreciate him shirtless and finally just stare unabashedly for once as he picks me up, lips on my neck as I let out a small gasp. My hands sliding down his back as he pressed me into the bed, grinding our hips together, teeth softly biting at my neck.

“Jongin,” I moan out, our mouths connecting again. This kiss was pure raw feelings. All tongue as his hand cups one of my breasts. It’s bizzare, I’ve had sex before, but this was different. My feelings are entangled here and it just feels so much more gratifying for me, with him.

When he pulls away, he mutters against my lips, “The way you say my name makes me go crazy.”

I reach down, pulling at his belt and wanting his pants off. I need this, I want him all over me. “Please Jongin,” I moan against his mouth, “Haven’t you waited long enough?”

His eyes are wide, as he moves, pulling his pants and underwear off in one quick move. I pull my underwear down, leaving myself completely nude as he moves over me. I pull him, moving so I straddle him. I don’t want to wait. I didn’t want foreplay. There’s enough time for that later, but now I was just desperate to have all of him.

I reach, holding him so I could sink down, moaning at the feeling. I haven’t had sex in a while, and the feeling of him, the friction of him sliding into me was pure bliss. I gave myself a moment to get used to him, to fully appreciate this moment. Jongin was moaning, hands on my hips as I was down, fingers holding tight my not harshly so. I lift my hips, his hands helping me move as I started a fairly quick rhythm. Our sounds filling the room, but I only heard him. His moans, his groans, the way me looked completely in bliss. Soon, though, he looked even… I don’t know how to describe it. Sexier? Seeing Jongin looking at me with almost a predatory gaze. “Fuck, Jongin,” I say out, leaning back a little, closing my eyes and just enjoying the feeling.

I felt like I was high, having just confessed my feelings to the man under me. Having him here, hands on my skin, squeezing my ass and reaching up to grab a breast. I remembered the rumors of how great he was at this, how all the people who left him were like under a spell of sorts. I always ignored it and rolled my eyes, but now I understood. Even under me it wasn’t enough, him planting his feet on the bed and thrusting up to meet me, the sound of skin hitting echoes in the room along with my moans.

Before I knew it, I was pressed to the bed, Jongin over me. My legs over his shoulders, hands on my hips as he pressed our hips together. This angle making me yell his name.

“Lyra,” He moans, one of his hands finding mine, gripping it tightly before he buried his face in my neck. The pace he set was faster, igniting my body on fire as I closed my eyes.

My other hand grabbing at his back, “Jongin, I-”

“Me too,” He says, “Fuck, fuck,” He reaches between us, fingers brushing my clit before I felt the tightness in me finally give in. A tsunami of pure ecstasy falling over me, my hands holding onto whatever I could. Our eyes locked onto one another, and something about that made it more intense. I feel Jongin move, pulling out. His hand pumping himself a few times before he spills over my stomach. The hand holding mine still entwined, as he gives it a squeeze. He smiles, brilliantly.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before I look at him, seeing him look from my stomach up to my face. He reaches over, grabbing some tissues from the bedside table. He cleans my stomach, tossing them into the trash before he gets back into bed, lips pressed to mine. This kiss soft, sweet. Showing me his love.

“If this is another dream, I’m going to be pissed,” He mutters against my lips.

I smirk, running my hand along his chest like I wanted to earlier, “You have wet dreams of me?”

“Hard not to when you’re so fucking gorgeous,” He says, looking in my eyes. “And just calling them ‘wet’ is putting it mildly,” He says, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I shake my head, before moving and pressing my face into his chest, draped over him. “No dream this time,” I say quietly. “Goodnight, Jongin.”

“Goodnight, Babe,” He says, the biggest smile on his face as he closes his eyes.

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone. I sit up, stretching before looking about. Jongin nowhere to be seen as I just shrug, before getting up and going to the bathroom. The sight of my hair alone gave me a shock. That good old ‘just been fucked’ look going, especially with the hairspray from last night. The make up was super smudged, making it looked like a nine year old was putting it on a clown. I don’t see any marks, which I was thankful for and heaven forbid if I had to call Sehun and ask how to cover them. Man would have a field day with that. I turn on the shower, quickly getting in and washing everything. My body was a little sore, but that was fine. The usual, really.

I quickly dry, thankful I remember to put the dress uniform in her last night. I dry my hair, putting it into a neat bun. I hate wearing a dress uniform, and it’s rare a mechanic ever has to, but this is one of those occasions. I put on underwear, taking the blue pants and put them on. I get the dress shirt, putting it on and tucking it into my pants. It was black. I quickly pull on my suit like jacket, buttoning it. I see the shiny new badges from the battle of Ysimir. One for fighting, one for the honor of being the one who helped take down the war ship.

I decided to forgo make up. To me that was dressing pretty and acting. This was me.

I put on my socks and shoes as I sit on the edge of the bed, seeing Jongin walk in. He was already in uniform. He looks at me, smiles before handing me a bag. “Got you a croissant for breakfast, figure I’d let you sleep more after… well…”

I smile, moving and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you. I was afraid I was going to starve for sleeping in late.”

His face flushes, “Um.. y-yep, no problem.”

“If you think last night was still a dream, I would give you a better kiss, but that’s not allowed in dress uniforms,” I say with a smirk. “So instead I guess I’ll just have to make you wait for it instead.”

“This relationship has barely started and I’m already having heart problems,” He whines to himself, making me laugh. I take a piece of my croissant, eating it as we move out the door.

As soon as we’re outside, it’s back to business. “A car is arriving from the U.N. to take us specifically there,” He says, “They’ll give us badges once where there.  The most minimal of security clearances, so best to stay with whomever they have guiding us or else it’ll be very messy.”

“Roger that, Captain,” I nod, taking another bite.

The drive to the U.N was nice. I watched the city go by once again, seeing the people going about their daily lives. That was, until we got to the U.N. I see people with signs, questioning the Syndicate. Protests as close as can get to the gates without angering the guards. It’s clear people are not happy. They probably feel betrayed. And they should feel that way.

The car was stopped inside the gate, the protesters quite a bit away as we step out of the vehicle. The yelling got louder the second they recognized the uniforms. Cameras taking pictures and people taking video to be broad casted in this and any known galaxies.

Security handed us badges to pin to our chests. The building was completely white, a globe in the water as I take a deep breath. We were guided inside, before we see Celieste standing ahead of us. She was wearing a black pant suit as she smiles. “We’ll meet in the assembly hall soon so we can hear from the two of you what you both know about the situation. We want over all information as well as your personal experiences from the day.” She looks at us, “Do not hold anything back. If you follow me we will escort you into a room so you both can discuss privately before you see the assembly.”

“Would it be alright if I contact our base,” Jongin says, looking at her. “Just to make sure we have as much information to tell you as possible.”

“We’ll provide you a way,” She nods.

The place was extremely clean as we’re directed into a room. It looked like a small office. A few bookshelves and a desk. A small communicator is handed to Jongin with a nod. The door shuts and before I speak, Jongin holds up a hand. He takes a small implement from his pocket, scanning the room. He nods, finding the small little mics and turns them off.

“We’re good.”

“Should we tell them about…,” I say, looking at my arm.

“I’m going to ask about that,” He says, pushing in a series of buttons. He speaks into the communicator, words are no language I could recognize. Smart.

A few minutes, then he hangs up. Jongin nods, “Minseok has a bunch of proof he sent over as part of the information. Says that when it comes time to talk about your part that day is when it will come up.” Jongin places a hand on my shoulder, “Are you ok with that? Would you rather I explain?”

“What about Rhys,” I ask, my heart racing as I feel panic start to rise.

“They’re ready to take him into custody the second it airs,” Jongin explains, nodding.

“Ok,” I nod, before he smiles at me.

“I’ll be there for you if you need me,” He says just as the door opens.

“I see you found the mics,” Celieste says, nodding. “Smart. I should have told them to take them out.” She tilts her head, “Follow me. No need for you both to get mics, the stage has them ready. All you have to do is speak.”

Soon, we’re in this huge room, with many seats and people filling every single one. Behind us was a hologram projection of the U.N. logo.

Celieste sits at the only empty seat at the front, a mic on her shirt. She unfolds a folder, “Please state your names and occupations for the record.”

“Captain Kim Jongin,” He says, standing almost regally. Shoulders back and all the confidence in the world. “Fighter pilot and leader of fleet Altair.”

“Master Sergeant Lyra Lang, Fighter mechanic,” I say, trying to appear just as confident as Jongin.

“How long have the both of you known about the corruption of the commanders,” She says, looking at her folder.

“I learned the day of the attack here on Earth,” Jongin explains. “After an attempt of my life was thwarted. A plan made by them called Clipped Wings.”

“I learned a few days before that,” I say, “Special Forces Captain Zhang Yixing informed me by finding the truth. He instructed me to hide the info chip used to release the truth to the public.”

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier,” She asks, looking at me.

“Who would have believed me,” I asked. “The encryption level on that chip was more than I could crack, so even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. Besides, Captain Zhang was planning on a way to show it to everyone, but he was being silently hunted down as part of Clipped Wings.”

“Where did you hide the chip,” She asks.

“On top of one of the blades of my ceiling fan in my room on the Syndicate base here on Earth,” I explain, “I taped coins that weigh roughly the same on the other blades so that there would be no noticeable difference.”

“What is Clipped Wings?”

Jongin nods, “A operation that the corrupt members of the Syndicate thought of in order to reduce the number of Krytons killed. They knew that we were killing them faster than they were made. If we started seeing less we would go looking and found out what they were doing,” The hologram beside him shifts, as we see faces of people. I recognize Jongin and Yixing. “They planned to kill those of us who are good at killing Krytons. The best fighters, pilots, and special forces members who were exceptionally good at it. As you can see,” He says gesturing to his face, “They clearly didn’t discriminate no matter who it is, as even though my… my father is Ex-commander Kim, they were willing to kill me to keep this a secret. And they did make the attempt.”

“No one else knew about this but the four commanders,” She asks.

This time, I answer, “There was a list on the infor chip who knew and who didn’t. Only one of Five commanders didn’t know, and that was Judicial commander Krims.”

“Tell us about the attempt on your life, Captain.”

“My sister planned it. She ordered someone to come in my room and attempt to kill me.”

“Who?”

I take a deep breath. Here we go. “Me.”

Celieste looked taken back. The crowd muttered before I opened my mouth to speak again. “But I didn’t want to. Because though all this, another secret was found.” I see the hologram shift to an arm with one of the marks. “In Tribil, life is not how they are portraying it on the outside. People are starving. If you work in the mines, they keep you fed just enough to work and not enough to revolt against them.”

“What does this have anything to do with this,” A man asks in the crowd.

“Just bare with me,” I say, “Another way to earn enough credits to get some food is errands. Then you eat maybe once every three days if you’re lucky. But there is another. If you agree, to get all the food you can eat. But that requires taking the mark.” I point, “That is a tattoo that is infused with nanotech. If you agree, you get this one,” I say, pointing to it. “You also have to get one if you leave Tribil. What is does is a person with this mark, Tribian for the letter A, has to listen to the person with the other mark.”

I look out at the crowd. “You can not disobey. Even if you try. They tell you to do something, you must do it. Even if you fight as hard as you can in your mind, you body will act.” I point, “When they let Tribians leave, they are forced to get this mark and told never to reveal the greatest secret on Tribil.”

“What is that secret,” Celieste asks, looking concerned.

“The people who get these marks are forced into prostitution,” I say, “Most of the people who get them are tricked. Told that it’s for being a maid.”

“Prostitution is legal on Tribil,” Someone shouts.

“Not this kind,” I say. “The bylaws of the Universes that Tribil signed said that they will not force people into it. That they have to consent to the sex. On Tribil, there is no such thing as consent. There is only orders, and you follow them no matter if you don’t want to.” I could feel tears in my eyes. “But first let me tell you about how it connects to the day of the attack and Clipped Wings.”

“I had it, and Kim Minjung got the other one,” I look at Jongin, “She ordered me to go to Jongin’s room and kill him.” I shook my head, “I fought as hard as I could, but there is no stopping you once you have the mark. So I tried. And I failed. So she ordered I try to kill myself.”

“I stopped her from doing that,” Jongin says. “It was discovered that with an F level strength magnet, and with an electric shock, you can pull the nanotech out of a mark. After the attempt on my life failed, Doh Kyungsoo too her to the hanger and pulled the nano tech out.”

“The attack happened almost immediately after the attempt on my life,” Jongin says, “So we fought. We too out the main threat, the bomber, and killed all the Krytons who were there. We also stopped Ex-commander Kim and Kim Minjung from escaping. We knew that Commander Krims wasn’t corrupted, and immediately got him involved so those who are corrupt would face justice.”

“What about the marks use on Tribil,” Celieste asked. I could tell she knew something was up with the marks.

“It’s used in prostitution, like I said before. I had the mark. I was forced to do many things I never wanted to, and if I begged them to stop they would just tell me to stop talking, or tell me to act like I loved it, and even if I didn’t want to the mark made me.” I glare, out at the crowd. “The bylaws also say that there is to be no child prostitution, but in Tribil, that is the regular.” I hear a lot of gasps from the crowd. “I was nine when I was told I’d just be a maid. So I got the mark because I was desperate and starving.” I shake my head, “I was nine years old then Iscar Rhys told me to get into bed. When he told me to beg him for it. When he told me to open my legs and stop crying.” I shook my head, feeling the tears flowing now. “Iscar Rhys, the previous king of Tribil was a pedophile and a rapist. And his son, the current king? He uses the mark in order to have sex with women. He’ll order them to take his beatings. Instead of making me beg him to keep going, he got off to people crying and begging him to stop. Rape is his ultimate fantasy.”

“Liar,” I hear from the crowd. A man gets up, his form shifting as the illusion tech faded. He raised his arm, a gun in hand before he was tackled to the ground.

I see a guard from my left coming, rushing over.

“Take them to safety,” Celieste says, glaring at the man on the ground. “How in the fuck did he get in?”

“Ask my colleague,” He says with a grin.

The guard got to us, and as I turn to him, I felt pain. I look down, seeing a knife sticking out of my chest. I look up, his form shifting too. He smiled, before taking a pistol from his side.

“Courtesy of Rhys,” He says, “Said to say if he can’t have you, no one can.”

He raised the gun, pointing it at Jongin. I hit his hand up, so the shot soars away.

In the blink of an eye, I see Jongin take the gun, shooting him in the shin. He falls down, yelling in agony as he grips the knife tighter. The blade was pulled out as he fell, blood seeping down my chest.

I fall back, Jongin catching me, “No, NO!” I hear him yell, a hand over my wound. I see medical officers running up, and a few taking the person who attacked us into custody. I felt the sharp pain just as I looked at Jongin.

I feel a kiss to my forehead, “Don’t you leave me, Lyra,” He says, tears coming to his eyes. “I love you, you hear me? You’re not allowed to die on me. Stay with me,” I see the fear in his eyes as he looks down. “You can’t leave me now,” I hear him say, voice in pain as the tears fell.

I wanted to tell him it’s ok, but just as he says that, my eyes flutter closed.

[aspiestvmusings]

First Thoughts w. Minor Endgame SPOILERS

I am basically done with my spoilery Avengers: Endgame posts, but... I’ve decided to delay posting them, because as hard as I tried...it’s impossible for me to write any reviews or comments or reactions without spoiling...a bit too much. And though I know people have shared much more details than I have...much sooner... I don’t want to. Really. Or I want to... but I can’t...

So, for now, I’ll start small. With very vague spoilery post and commenting only on few things, without context. Despite being as vague as possible, this will have spoilers, so..

CONSIDER THIS YOUR LAST SPOILER WARNING!

THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME UNDER CUT, SO IF THE SITE DIDN’T FILTER OUT & HIDE THIS PROPERLY TAGGED (SPOILER) POST, THEN THIS IS THE TIME TO STOP & NOT READ ANY FURTHER

First: in all the screenings I've been to the audience has laughed, and gasped, and cried, and applauded. The laughter bursts vary a bit, the level of (loud) crying depends, but one thing is constant. Iron Man’s last scene brings near total silence, because unlike in IM3 everyone knows that this is actually the last film including Iron Man as we know him. And one thing has  been constant - people applaud when during the end credits it’s RDJs name/image on screen. RDJ gets a “standing ovation”.  Amazing acting by so many actors in this film...but for me RDJ’s trumps all. 

Second: As a parallel to the last IM film, the last Avengers (as they were) film ends with a voiceover/narration from Tony. But unlike with the Iron Man films, where even those who were unaware of the end credits scene & Avengers, and that IM will return, this time the audience knows that he won’t return. That voiceover is final goodbye....the wording is so final... so the audience knows there will be no “IM returns”... he is really saying goodbye to the character. And people listen to it...mostly...in silence. Like mourning. A whole minute (or whatever) silence in honour of RDJ as Tony/IM. 

Third: Several characters say the word SHIT in this movie. The word is repeated several time...in different scenes. And yet...no-one says “language!” One scene particular is the sweetest and the funniest. You’ll know when you hear it...repeated. 

Fourth: This is important to know for those, who are in a hurry - there really is NO END CREDITS SCENE. No mid-credit, no end-credit. The voice-over from RDJ/Tony... as a goodbye message to IM and the final character title cards for the original six are it. Then it’s just credits rolling. 

Though there is one thing at the very end. There’s no picture, but there is audio at the very end of the credits. If you listen very carefully you’ll hear some clanging... FIVE TIMES (I counted five, but maybe I missed a few?) Whether that sound is from the past - Tony making the 1st suit in 2008, or present or future (someone making a new hammer/weapon or a new IM/superhero suit)... is yet unknown. But I’d like to think it’s in memory of Tony’s start as IM. 

That’s the end of Tony’s Iron Man, and though unlike with successors to other characters roles/thrones that were properly introduced, there was no introduction of the next IM/Tonys replacement, there were a few hints where it might go. Pay attention to one of the child characters during the “middle” of the film (plus the newest member or the iron suit wearing team) & then to a young man/teen boy at the back in the "final" scene.

Fifth: it’s been 21...no...22 days since....the events of A3:IW  That is one day for every MCU film so far. That’s just one of the many many callbacks & references to the past MCU films. 

Sixth:  Several next generation superheroes are kinda introduced. Future “replacements” for Captain America & Hawkeye & even Iron Man are kinda shown or hinted at. The new CA is officially introduced. CM as the new leader is kinda introduced. Hawkeyes successor is hinted at. But so is...though much more subtly... Iron Man’s... 

Seventh: There are so so so many callbacks & references to past MCU films. Some lines are quoted exactly. Some things are referenced more subtly. I’ve only seen half of the films, so I only caught half of the references probably. And most likely missed many even tho the films I have seen. 

Eight: The mid/end credits scene from Captain Marvel (”Where’s Fury?”)  is not in the film. But... the film works best if you consider it was cut (not that it was a misleading clip). If you imagine it being between the Hawkeye family scene & the Tony’s helmet message to Pepper recording scene...everything fits better.... cause without that moment between those scenes it seems like something is missing from the timeline.   (I’ll explain in my future spoiler post)

Nine: Natasha & Clint fighting over who gets to be the one to go on the mission - who is more “worthy”...And in general all the talk about who gets to do what mission/work - everyone wanting to volunteer (or..almost...everyone). They really are the Avengers (not the pre-vengers). #everyoneintheteamisallaboutthesuperherolife 

Ten: Every character gets their moments to shine - scenes for their character, and each get closure (kinda... even those who we know will be part of the future MCU films). And every hero/character got their moment to shine also during the big battle. It was a TEAM event. And every one of the main six got their final/goodbye scene. Plus all the Original Six get their own “title card” during the end credits.

Eleven: Lots of SNAPPING in this film. Characters snapping at each other (angry speeches), but also the actual snapping (of the gauntlet...as seen in IW)

Twelve: This movie is a lot about THE SMARTS. This is about the BRAINS more than the BRAWN. Come up with clever plan, outsmart the others. There is a lot of that going on in this film. Though,its also a lot about putting the two together: BRAINS + BRAWN - getting the best of both.... 

Thirteen: a rodent that looks a lot like a rat (or maybe it is a mouse... since Disney is all about Mickey Mouse)...plays a pretty important part in the film.

Fourteen: Stan Lee makes a cameo. IMO this was not as great as many of his others. Also... for whatever reason they decided to use the CM (VFX) strategy for his scene. It’s a little fun moment, but I’d say his cameo in CM works better as his “last cameo ever”

Fifteen: There is a montage in the (early in the film) beginning of the film which is almost exactly like a montage/scene in SHREK. In this film it’s the purple bad guy starring in the scene, in SHREK it was the green good guy. OR...maybe I remember incorrectly, and the scenes aren’t really that similar.... I have to re-watch Shrek films

Sixteen: You’ll hear the best/worst bedtime story ...ever... (???) being told in this film. 

Seventeen: There will be SALAD & DESSERT. And references to both will make you cry. You will probably cry just before/during/after the scenes that mention salad & dessert... #eatasalad #juicepops 

Eighteen: Pay attention to the fancy lady & the man with the flowers. Their scenes are some of the most important. 

Nineteen: The funny & more relaxed scenes & the serious/sad/fight scenes alternate. After a sad moment you get a laugh moment, then sad again, then laughs again. 

Twenty: Food plays an important part in the film. There’s no Shawarma (I guess  the Shawarma place owner/workers got dusted?), but Thor’s bread from the trailers is not the only food we see/hear  mentioned: (peanut butter) sandwich, tacos, cheeseburgers, salad, dessert, juice pops, table full of plates with food, cheese wiz.... and Tony’s snacks all make an appearance in the film. Only question remains: who will do the dishes? You’ll see in the film who. 

Twenty-One: In some ways Tony’s & Nebula’s stories (arcs, endings) in this film are similar. Nebula’s past & Tony’s past are kinda haunting them, and they both are able to conquer it. Both were “bad” (Tony a weapons maker in his father’s footsteps, Nebula a mercenary cyborg under her father's control) and became “good”.  On top of that both have daddy issues (most of the characters have mommy/daddy issues...) They both make choices that complete their respective arcs. In many ways their big final moments are similar... even if you wouldn’t think so right away. 

Twenty-Two: Since his name has been in cast list on IMDB for while, it has been no spoiler that he is this movie, but yes, the (kid) actor who plays Harley Keener in IM3 is also in this film. He is in just one scene. So if you notice an unfimiliarface in a scene (the camera clearly shows him, too, at one point...) & ask yourself “who is that kid”, then THAT’S him. Because they don’t include a flashback from IM3 for him... the actor (and the character) have aged.The kid is now a teen/young adult, so many people don’t recognize him. And apparently many don’t like IM3, or haven’t seen it. 

EXTRA: This film, especially if we look at it as a two-parter (asone part of Infinity Saga: A3 + A4) is ...kinda.... a story about fathers & daughters. In A3 we saw a lot of Thanos/daughters stuff, in A4 we pretty much both open & end the film with father/daughter moments (it may not be the very last frame of the film, but it’s close to end). I can’t spoil those, but you’ve seen one of the films father/daughter moments in the trailers (Hawkeye/daughter - he has sons, too, but the focus is on the daughter). And in general, the film is about family  (the avengers superheroes family)

 And I’ll end this post with a new banner/header I made... in honour of the strongest & most kind-hearted superhero...

RDJ as Tony Stark as Iron Man, fans love you 3,000!

[hope-for-olicity]

Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - December 7th, 2018

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! They are posted in the order I read them. 

Earth 2 Felicity Q-Smoak by @cruzrogue - A look into Earth 2 Felicity's life and how she may meet Oliver http://cruzrogue.tumblr.com/post/180523358099/earth-2-felicity-q-smoak-having-fun-with-this-i

Homecoming by @alexiablackbriar13 - The journey home from Slabside is exhausting for Oliver, who is already bloody, battered and bruised from the riot. Felicity takes care of him and stops him from fracturing. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16764172

Love and Little Cupcakes multi-chapter WIP by @christinabeggs - Felicity loved sweets so much that she paid no attention to her lovelife. Until Thea Queen came into her store wanting fabulous cupcakes for her sixteenth birthday. SO ADORABLE! http://archiveofourown.org/works/12400539/chapters/28216053

Just Beneath the Surface multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow arrow - When an S.O.S signal is sent to the FBI from a woman named Felicity Smoak, Director Oliver Queen knows that she is in grave danger. He can’t help but notice the haunting similarities between what’s happening to her and what happened nine years ago; in thirteen unsolved cold cases that drove ex-agent John Diggle out of the bureau. With a race against the clock, Oliver enlists the help of his old mentor to reopen the investigation, and hopefully save Felicity’s life. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16239002/chapters/37963052

The Gate by @foreverfelicityqueen - What might have gone through Oliver's head as he was being released and seeing his wife for the first time in a while. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16768138

To Have and To Hold by anythingbutplatonic - It's been six months and twelve days since she's seen him. It’s been five thousand, four hundred and sixty-eight hours since she’s really, really seen him. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16761286

Carry You Like You Carry Me multi-chapter Complete by inlovewithimpossibility - three-shot on post-7x07, dealing with the immediate after-effects of Oliver's release https://archiveofourown.org/works/16760950/chapters/39324724

The Numbness of Disuse by @juvinadelgreko - A short one-shot about Oliver and Felicity’s return from Slabside. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16758562

(Tear Me To Pieces, Skin and Bones) Hello, Welcome Home. by @inenochian - Oliver and Felicity spend their one year anniversary in their bed. Recovering. Healing. Loving. (pure and unadulterated fluff because that's what we deserve) https://archiveofourown.org/works/16773454

With the Speed of an Arrow multi-chapter WIP by @academyofshipping - Oliver Queen’s elite and silver-spoon life has taken some blows in the past few years, but he is still the carefree billionaire everyone knows of and loves. When his role in the family business is in jeopardy and he is introduced to a motley of new people, his status quo is threatened. With a changed perspective, Oliver realizes his feeling for his best friend and anchor-in-life, Felicity Smoak, may be more than just platonic. OR A modern adaption of Jane Austen’s Emma with a gender swap* and no island. *Knowing that gender is not binary https://archiveofourown.org/works/16559846/chapters/38799857

Doppelgangers P2 by @lostolicityscenes - Oliver is taken by Faux Felicity who believes she can spice up his sex life https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/180592892411/doppelgangers-part-2-part-1-nsfw-more

Home To You multi-chapter WIP by @the-shy-and-anxious-fangirl - Oliver Queen has never done what his family expected of him. He took a gap year after high school instead of going to college right away. He quit his fraternity sophomore year to join the student newspaper, switching his major from business to journalism. He became a photojournalist for a wire service instead of taking a place at Queen Consolidated. He went missing after six months instead of coming home for his sister’s twenty-first birthday. He survived five years of captivity in a war zone when everyone thought he was dead. He came home. But home didn’t have a place for him in it anymore. His parents were both dead, casualties of their own mistakes and a city they had turned against them. His sister was all grown up, the CEO of Queen Consolidated with a fiancé and a dog and a life of her own. Oliver didn’t belong in his old life, but there was nowhere else for him to go. He was a man without a home, without any way of finding one, until he stopped by the IT department of his sister’s company to get files off an old, battered memory card, and found a woman with curly blonde hair and bright, intelligent eyes chewing on a bright red pen and swearing at a computer screen. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12613188/chapters/28734552

Time for a Story multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert - This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. YOU NEED THIS STORY IN YOUR LIFE. https://archiveofourown.org/works/3912157/chapters/8757172

The Queen's Mage multi-chapter WIP by @the-shy-and-anxious-fangirl - Words have power, and mages, those with the aptitude to draw on that power, are few in number. Thus, their services are highly sought after by anyone who has exhausted all mundane means of solving whatever problem is plaguing them. Felicity is reminded of this fact the hard way when she is hired by Moira Queen, the Lady Starling, to find and return to her son Oliver, who fled his family home five years ago following the death of his father. With a threat hanging over her should she return without Robert Queen's heir, Felicity begins her search. When she finds Oliver, and ends up joining his vigilante crusade while she waits for him to decide whether to return home, the last thing she expects to do is fall in love with him. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14617068/chapters/33781269

Charmed I'm Sure! multi-chapter WIP by @christinabeggs - What happens when three witchy sisters take on the evil in the world? https://archiveofourown.org/works/15852249/chapters/36922482

Hard To Find Love multi-chapter WIP by Mellowyellowdiamonds - Through a tragic twist of fate Felicity finds herself left with an orphaned young William Clayton. Keeping her promise to her friend, Felicity raises William diligently, loving him as if he were her own child, only to have Moira Queen storm into their lives several years later demanding custody of her grandson. Locked in a war with Moira Queen, things get complicated when Felicity finds herself developing unwanted feelings for William's biological father, Oliver Queen. At the same time she must try to manage her meddling 13 year old son, who has it in his head that if Felicity would just cooperate and fall for his father, everything would be right in the world. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15941786/chapters/37173917

Different People by @geneshaven - Olicity after their talk in 7x08 https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/180822452124/different-people

Arrow Ficlet: Oh the Past, It Wanted Me Dead by @theshipsfirstmate - post-7x07. It’s hard to believe she’s seen him look worse. https://archiveofourown.org/works/8435797/chapters/39324094#workskin

Rebels Connected multi-chapter Complete by @mindramblingsfics - Felicity Smoak is an escaped mutant on the run. Oliver Queen, leader of an underground safe house for mutants to call home comes to her rescue. Everything changes once he brings her into the organization and his life. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16014089/chapters/37369784

From Somewhere Within multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - Their connection has always felt natural to them, safe and secure. But others tend to fear what they don’t understand, and as far as their enemies are concerned, the world isn’t ready to accept two people who can know each other the way that Oliver and Felicity do. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16009244/chapters/37356257

Pieces of Always multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34 - Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows. Ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8220479/chapters/18840356

My Thoughts on You multi-chapter WIP by @rachelrenalove -Felicity Smoak is sure of 3 things: 1. She's a badass and she is damn good at what she does. 2. She hates the man in the green hood. 3. Oliver Queen is a pain in her ass and she cannot wait until the day she can quit her job at Queen Consolidated. Or Felicity Smoak goes undercover at Queen Consolidated and meets Oliver Queen. She quickly realizes that she doesn't like him and wishes she was never chosen for this mission. Outside of QC, she is dealing with her hatred towards the man in the green hood that has found out exactly which buttons of hers to press in order to piss her off. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15089954/chapters/34989344

Life's All About Changes multi-chapter Complete by Crazyreader2468 - After agreeing to plead guilty to being the Green Arrow in order to get FBI assistance in capturing Diaz, Oliver finds himself in a supermax, a maximum security federal prison, serving a life sentence. As he struggles to become accustomed to life in prison, his family, friends, and teammates struggle to live without him, as well as continually attempting to find a way to get him pardoned. Will they succeed in obtaining a pardon and will Oliver survive until they do? Mostly AU from right before the ending of episode 6 x 22 and after most of 6 x 23. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14936172

Re-Airrow 2x10 by @lostolicityscenes - Just one scene for the episode: A riff on the line that Oliver says to Felicity about Barry. https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/180799804486/re-airrow-2x10

If I Tremble multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - A collection of prompts and ficlets, with all the smut! Olicity sexy times are the best times. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15409122/chapters/35762643

seemingly impossible (but not untrue) multi-chapter WIP by @alexiablackbriar13 - Young genius historian Dr Felicity Smoak unknowingly and accidentally calls up a bewitched alchemical manuscript within the Oxford Bodleian Libraries - a book that has been lost for centuries. Descended from an old and distinguished line of witches, Felicity wants nothing to do with magic, despite her unruly and powerful abilities. But her discovery of Ashmole 782 sets the world of creatures stirring; with a mystery afoot and new, dangerous magical abilities manifesting for her to navigate, she is approached by the enigmatic vampire biochemist Professor Oliver Queen, who seems to have a deep interest in both the manuscript… and her. Based on A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16224353/chapters/37923743  

// @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo// @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1// @quiveringbunny // @wrongshipper // @thebookjumper // @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 // 

[psychosistr]

Worth It Chapter 8- Touch Starved

Summary: Joseph and Caesar are both a bit touch starved after everything being so tense between them. Luckily, Joseph has a way to fix that!

Notes: Like the last chapter, this one also involves mental manipulation and subtle hypnosis via an unaware main character being subjected to subliminal messages.

Also just a reminder since it’s been a while: ~~ line just means a scene change with the same character perspective, while  ___ line means a scene change and a switch in perspective.

Joseph smiled as he typed away on his laptop, seated at a desk located in his own personal study within the house. The study was small, but cozy, consisting mostly of a work desk with a few small drawers for him to put his stuff in/on (mostly on, judging by the amount of papers and pens scattered around it), a comfortable swivel chair, and a small filing cabinet in the corner with a printer/copier/fax machine seated on top. It was a small space, but it was nice and secluded- a good place for him to focus on what he needed to do.

At the moment, he was working on a “personal project”, rather than one for his job. His eyes went from the computer to the USB cable plugged into it, following the cable to the little MP3 player that he’d been using for Caesar for the past week and a half. His smile grew a bit wider as he lightly ran his finger over the glass surface of the MP3.

Joseph knew that Caesar wasn’t going to change his mind simply by being locked up- no, the fierce Italian was far too stubborn for that. And, while he had been showing SOME progress, it was going far too slow for Joseph’s liking. So, he figured, why not help Caesar relax and change his mind a bit faster? No harm in that, right? Right.

To this end, Joseph had done a good amount of research into subjects like hypnosis. From what he’d discovered, real hypnosis wasn’t anything like what was seen in main-stream media- the classic image of a man swinging a pocket watch in front of someone’s eyes until they fell asleep before clucking like a chicken on cue- and was far more intricate and subtle. For starters, he found out that hypnosis couldn’t make people do anything they didn’t already want to do. Second, the kind that was often satirized in the media was more of a trigger-based hypnosis that required inductions and long hours of work with a willing participant. The final things he found out about that caught his attention were the concepts of hypnotherapy and subliminal messages. Hypnotherapy was all about using hypnosis to gradually improve one’s mood or habits, and, if the person really wanted it, could even help them with every day things like to stop smoking or sleep easier or be more confident in themselves. Meanwhile, subliminal messages were all about hiding small suggestions and tiny triggers within things people could be exposed to readily- such as images, movies, or music- to hide small, subconscious thoughts and desires within them that they may not even be aware of.

Through his research, Joseph gathered that it was already common-place for people to combine the concepts of hypnotherapy and subliminal messages for both recreational and self-help purposes. That sounded PERFECT! Caesar would never willingly agree to be hypnotized, and wouldn’t accept any changes that conflicted with what he wanted, but if Joseph could get him to think about things that he WANTED to do, then he could be conditioned to accept other changes gradually. After a bit more research, he found easy instructions for creating subliminal messages hidden in music and downloaded a program to help him with it.

He decided to start with something small, just to try it out- a simple music mix laced with a basic subliminal script designed to get Caesar to relax, slowly realize that he was safe in his new home, and encourage him to go out into the rest of the house. After all, these all seemed like things that Caesar would want, anyway. It had to be exhausting being so stressed all the time, so he’d feel better with this, right? Right.

The results were even better than he could have imagined! That night, when he got home, Caesar had actually asked to go to the kitchen with him and had even sat at the dining room table with him to eat dinner together. Oh, it gave Joseph such a feeling of joy to know he was helping his precious little Caesar feel better- even if Caesar wasn’t aware of it, himself. No matter, he did it simply to help Caesar, not to receive praise, after all.

After that night, Joseph started making more and more subliminal music lists to help further Caesar’s progress. It seemed to be working, too. Caesar was still resistant to Joseph’s touches and didn’t really reciprocate his affections yet, but he’d been a lot calmer around him lately and either openly asked or agreed to let Joseph take him to different rooms when the urge struck one of them. Joseph was so excited by these changes! Oh, how he wished he could just hurry things along even faster so he could kiss and touch his cute little Caesar already! He constantly had to remind himself to take things slow, though- if he tried introducing new concepts too quickly, then they wouldn’t stick and Caesar might become suspicious of him. If that happened, then he’d start resisting all over again. Better to play it safe for the moment…

He read over the script he’d written for his current batch one more time, deeming it perfect and pressing the correct buttons to splice it into the music tracks. If things went well with this one, then Caesar would be more open to physical contact again. That would make every day interactions A LOT easier on Joseph in the long run- it was hard to convince Caesar to love him when he couldn’t even brush against him without the other man tensing up.

After receiving the signal that the tracks were ready, he downloaded them into the MP3 with a sigh, reminding himself of his goals. “It’s all for Caesar- and Caesar is ALWAYS worth it.” He smiled softly and repeated that phrase in his mind, using it as his own mantra whenever all of the work he put into this started to wear on him. It would all be worth it in the end- he just had to endure it.

_______________________________________________________________

Another day, another eight to nine hours locked to the bed with earbuds playing that relaxing music and Caesar’s vision stolen by black silk. It was a bit odd that he was becoming so used to this, he supposed, but it felt too nice to really want to stop. These few hours by himself, left to his own thoughts, made Caesar feel easier about his whole situation and really gave him time to reflect on and reevaluate everything. It felt refreshing whenever he let himself sink down into the comforter and allowed his mind to wander…

‘It feels nice to relax like this.’

‘Hmh, it does feel nice..getting to relax like this every day..a lot better than going out to failed job interviews, that’s for sure..’

‘It also feels nice being around Joseph…’

‘I mean..it is nice getting to move around for a while when he’s here, but I don’t know if I’d call it NICE since I’m always chained up around him…’

‘I used to enjoy being around him, maybe I still do…’

‘Of course I used to like it- he was my best friend. He’s fun to talk to, even if his jokes suck. He’s usually nice, except when he gets that crazy look in his eyes. He’s surprisingly smart and comes up with interesting conversations, I do kind of miss having those with him….oh..I guess..some part of me DOES still like being around him..’

As Caesar thought about it, he realized what had really scared him about Joseph since he’d been kidnapped: Joseph didn’t really ACT that different from before. He WANTED so badly to see Joseph as some psychotic, insane person that he could bring himself to HATE. It would make everything so much easier on Caesar if this was someone he couldn’t understand or didn’t know, but..it wasn’t..it was Joseph. Aside from the occasional cold seriousness he’d let through or the manic smiles he’d catch glimpses of, Joseph was still acting like Jojo. He was still the Jojo that Caesar argued with about taste in music, or loudly laughed at whenever he was clumsy, or who warmed his heart when he told a bad joke just to cheer Caesar up. Joseph still did all of the same things he did before, except for the whole locking Caesar up thing.

Caesar wasn’t really sure how he felt about Joseph anymore: On the one hand, he was still the same loyal, caring, thoughtful, dork of a best friend that Caesar had been close to for so long now. On the other hand, though, he was also the one who kidnapped Caesar, chained him up, and was preventing him from leaving the house at all- essentially keeping him prisoner.

‘This is my home, too- Joseph said so.’

Caesar sighed a bit at that thought. ‘Fine, maybe it is TECHINCALLY my home since Joseph owns it and we were already living together- but house arrest is still a thing…’

‘I was already spending most of my time at home, anyway.’

‘Okay, fine, I guess that’s true too. But I still liked having the OPTION of going out when I wanted to.’

‘All I ever went out for were failed job interviews, dead-end dates, or to hang out with Joseph.’

‘…That..is also true…I really didn’t socialize much..’

‘The only time I had fun going out was with Joseph…’

‘…….Damn it…that’s true, too..’

He frowned a bit as the thought fully sank in. It was a sad but true fact- most of his interactions outside of the apartment had ended up being negative. Sure, he’d have some fun occasionally when he hooked up with a stranger at a bar, but that was ultimately a hollow feeling. He’d feel confident going into job interviews, but in the end he’d just get hit with the sting of rejection. He liked the few people who caught his eye that he would try dating, going out for dinner, dancing, and movies was fun…but they always seemed to leave him, in the end.

The only times going outside were fun for him were when Joseph went with him for drinks, or they did the grocery shopping together, or stopped by the bookstore, or visited Joseph’s family, or went to see some superhero movie that Caesar never really remembered the plot of but simply went because he enjoyed seeing the child-like wonder Joseph always displayed at observing his favorite comic books brought to life.

It really did seem like the only things he enjoyed doing outside were WITH Joseph. Hell, even just being at home with him was more enjoyable than being by himself- he remembered how lonely he’d felt during the weeks leading up to his kidnapping. Now he really wished he’d tried harder to talk to Joseph during that time. Maybe he could have helped Joseph feel better and then he wouldn’t be in this situation now…

‘Joseph still cares about me- he wants to spend more time with me…’

‘Maybe…Maybe if I try to spend more time with him while he’s here, it will help him feel better…maybe then he’ll feel like he doesn’t have to keep me locked up all the time, perhaps he’d even come to his senses and let me go…’

‘I should trust Joseph a bit more…’

‘I..still don’t know how much I can trust him..but..he’s been holding true to all of his promises so far..he still hasn’t drugged me again or tried to touch me beyond the occasional hug or kiss on the cheek..I guess I can trust him a little, at least, while he’s stable…’

‘Joseph’s touch does feel nice..’

Caesar felt his cheeks burn a bit, trying to remind himself that that thought was probably innocent in nature- likely just a by-product of needing human contact, nothing else.

Still…

Physical contact was always something Joseph had been very big on, even when they first started hanging out. He’d always end up sitting closer to Caesar until their knees bumped, or throwing an arm around Caesar’s shoulders when he ended up laughing at one of his own stories. It had thrown Caesar off a bit at first, especially considering that their first stint of time together consisted of either getting into physical brawls or being rude and snarky to each other. Then, one night over a few drinks, they’d opened up to each other about their pasts and their families…Caesar was a tough guy, he didn’t cry often, but, as he remembered what happened to his father, and with the alcohol in his system making him a bit more vulnerable, he had been fairly close to shedding tears- until Joseph leaned across the space between them and pulled Caesar into a firm embrace. There were no ulterior motives, there was no hint of pity or condescension, Joseph had simply done it because he wanted to bring Caesar comfort in any way possible. And it worked. Caesar had clung to him, his shoulders trembling as he refused to cry, and Joseph held him the whole time until he felt better- never once saying anything or looking at him with anything less than understanding. Caesar hadn’t been aware at the time of how touch-starved he truly was until Joseph embraced him. After that, they formed a true connection, and Joseph became far more generous with the physical contact, taking every opportunity to put a casual arm around Caesar when they walked, leaning against him when they sat together, and embracing him whenever the mood struck him.

That was something else Caesar was beginning to miss- the physical closeness with Joseph. It had become such a big part of their day-to-day interactions for so long that it felt weird to be without it now…

‘I miss Joseph’s touch…’

‘..Yeah..I really do…I can’t keep pulling away every time he gets close to me, I’ll just end up tiring myself out. He promised he wouldn’t touch me inappropriately, and I do trust him to keep his word…I..guess I can give him a chance with this…’

Caesar relaxed back into the bed, feeling much calmer now than before. Everything would be okay in the end- he would get through this…

The music died down and Caesar slowly came to, unaware that he’d even fallen asleep at all. Guess he was feeling a lot more relaxed…

He felt the usual dip of the bed right before those familiar large, warm hands tenderly undid the blindfold. “Hey there, sleeping beauty- get enough rest? <3” The silk slid off and Caesar blinked the sleep from his eyes, looking at Joseph’s affectionate smile. “Here, hold on, I’ll get those out in just a sec..” He reached to Caesar’s ears and carefully took out the earbuds. “There, better?” He smiled and lightly tousled Caesar’s hair.

Caesar almost tensed up again, but he remembered what he’d thought about earlier and took a deep breath, making himself relax before accepting the gentle touch for what it was. It did feel really nice to have this contact, so he closed his eyes and leaned into it, just letting himself get used to the sensation again. “Si. What’s for dinner?” When he didn’t receive an answer right away, he opened his eyes to look up at Joseph. He saw Joseph gazing at him with a look of awe and surprise, similar to when Caesar first asked Joseph to take him to the kitchen. “What?”

Joseph blinked, seeming to come back to reality from whatever daydream he’d entered, and just gave Caesar a big, bright smile that left him feeling just a little bit warmer inside. “Sorry, it’s nothing. I was thinking about making tacos- sound good?” His hand lowered to Caesar’s shoulder and just rested there comfortably.

“Depends- what kind of meat?” And just like that, they were having a normal, everyday conversation with Caesar taking in the familiar, steady warmth and weight of Joseph’s hand casually resting on his body. The fact that he was still chained up against his will hadn’t left his mind. But, as he debated the idea of fresh fish tacos over greasy pork and beef alternatives with Joseph, Caesar found that he could almost pretend things were normal again…

<-Previous Chapter Next Chapter->

-From the Beginning-

[liesandarbor]

A Falling Star in Westeros Pt II: Analyzing Ashara Dayne

A Falling Star in Westeros

Part II of V in a collection of writings regarding the mysterious and ‘late’ Ashara Dayne, her potential effect on narrative, and compelling arguments for and against her fate. Part II deconstructs popular -  yet unlikely - theories surrounding Ashara's fate, and, while not as thorough as Part I, lays groundwork for future parts of the series.

Ashara Dayne by Bellabergolts

Tower of Joy: a Conspiracy

Ned's wraiths moved up beside him, with shadow swords in hand. They were seven against three.

"And now it begins," said Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning. He unsheathed Dawn and held it with both hands. The blade was pale as milkglass, alive with light.

"No," Ned said with sadness in his voice. "Now it ends." As they came together in a rush of steel and shadow, he could hear Lyanna screaming. "Eddard!" she called. A storm of rose petals blew across a blood-streaked sky, as blue as the eyes of death.

-Eddard X, AGOT

Readers are left puzzled by George RR Martin’s remarkably vague accounts of Robert’s Rebellion. Whether the fever dream retelling of the Tower of Joy in Eddard X, or missing birth timestamps, everything has been left deliberately unfinished, leaving room for major speculation. Martin’s tight-lipped nature on the Rebellion even transcends into what HBO adapts:

We're not doing Robert's Rebellion either. I know thousands of you want that, I know there's a petition... but by the time I finish writing A SONG OF ICE & FIRE, you will know every important thing that happened in Robert's Rebellion. There would be no surprises or revelations left in such a show, just the acting out of conflicts whose resolutions you already know. That's not a story I want to tell just now; it would feel too much like a twice-told tale.

(Notablog, 5/14/17)

The Rebellion changed how war was waged in Westeros, destroyed relationships, and scarred our main characters in the process - both physically and emotionally  (promise me/the tolling of the bells/Jaime, my name’s Jaime). While Martin’s exposition throws us in the shoes of main characters (a brother and a girl dying in a bed of blood, a melancholy but noble prince, the ever-paranoid king, a man at war to bring his betrothed home to him, independence from the crown), we are reminded of what the ‘Game of Thrones’ is about: power, money, land, and control. Smallfolk fought for their homes against rebels (Gulltown, Summerhall, the Reach), many dragged into war for lords they had no reason to respect.  The suffering was on a different plane than ever before, and not just for the high lords.

The Rebellion wasn’t necessarily about Rhaegar leaving his wife to get his rocks off with a Northern girl.  In fact, the Northern girl was merely a blip - whether prophecy, lust, romance, or fate - in the middle of a bigger plan.  With Tywin Lannister financially backing Rhaegar at every turn (The Fall of the Dragons: the Year of the False Spring, TWOIAF), and Rhaegar ready to depose his paranoid, cruel father from the throne, tensions were at an all time high throughout the kingdom.  Add insulting the North, Dorne, and someone with an influential social network - and big ‘ol warhammer - and you have a mess on your hands.

Other essayists have more than explored pre-ASOIAF plots and politics in depth. Whether you’re reading the so-gripping-it’s-almost-dubious Harrenhal Conspiracies by Reddit user U/KingLittleFinger, the impeccably thorough Southron Ambitions by Stefan Sasse, or the illustrious Rescue at the Crossroads by Lady Gwynhyfvar, these compelling pieces highlight one similar train of thought: there’s information about this Rebellion that we, as readers, are missing.

Martyn Cassel had perished with the rest. Ned had pulled the tower down afterward, and used its bloody stones to build eight cairns upon the ridge. It was said that Rhaegar had named that place the tower of joy, but for Ned it was a bitter memory. They had been seven against three, yet only two had lived to ride away; Eddard Stark himself and the little crannogman, Howland Reed. He did not think it omened well that he should dream that dream again after so many years. -Eddard X, AGOT

Ned remembered the way she had smiled then, how tightly her fingers had clutched his as she gave up her hold on life, the rose petals spilling from her palm, dead and black. After that he remembered nothing. They had found him still holding her body, silent with grief. The little crannogman, Howland Reed, had taken her hand from his. Ned could recall none of it. "I bring her flowers when I can," he said. "Lyanna was … fond of flowers."

-Eddard I, AGOT   

Eight cairns stand in the blazing heat of Dornish mountains.  A small crannogman and a silent, grief-stricken man built them, after defeating three Kingsguard members, emerging the final surviving combatants out of the eight “dead”.  How long would it take a semi-catatonic, grieving man to pull down that tower?  Days? Weeks?  Did Ned Stark suddenly snag a +3 in Masonry while we weren’t paying attention? These two men - and whoever ‘they’ were - lugged the body of a dead sister, a newborn baby, a wet nurse , and an ancestral sword southwest to Starfall, following their weary hearts out of the mountains to return north; to return home. Not a single body’s bones returned to their families: not Arthur Dayne, Oswell Whent, Gerold Hightower, Willam Dustin, Ethan Glover, Theo Wull, Martyn Cassel, or Mark Ryswell.  

Rejoining the current narrative, the state of Westeros reads mostly as ‘everything has been swept under the rug, and everyone is pretending nothing happened.’ Ned hasn’t seen Robert Baratheon in nine years, or Howland Reed in fifteen; he hides in his winter fortress, safe within PTSD encrusted walls.  Every loose end from the Rebellion tucked behind Winterfell’s gates, threatening to spill out at any moment.

Why did Benjen join the Night's Watch? Good question. One day you will get an answer. But it will not be today.

-SSM

If the only other Tower of Joy survivor was Howland Reed - and no one has seen him in years - the weight of hiding Lyanna’s dragonspawn becomes far easier to manage. But we know that’s not the case. They weren’t the only ones carrying the knowledge of Jon Snow’s parentage - they couldn’t be.  

With indefinite language like “they found him still holding her body”, and conflicting stories, like Edric Dayne’s Dornish milk-brother story ("Brother?" Arya did not understand. "But you're from Dorne. How could you and Jon be blood?" "Milk brothers. Not blood. My lady mother had no milk when I was little, so Wylla had to nurse me." Arya VIII, ASOS), we’re sideswiped with waves of mystery.

Stark returns home with a baby on his hip, quite obviously carrying the family genes, and his younger brother immediately signs up for a life of celibacy in a freezing tundra (SSM).  Three kingsguard are placed in the mountains of Dorne, with the knowledge that what they are guarding is worth more than their lives. House Dayne sends their own serving woman, Wylla, to the tend the tower. Ashara plunges from the Palestone Sword Tower as the Rebellion ends, her body conveniently never found (SSM).   Martin has even hinted the Reed children “might know something about it” (SSM), something backed up by Bran II, ASOS.  The question is no longer ‘what happened in that tower?’ - it’s what created that tower? What actions put our leading lady in this tower, and why?

Compelling Arguments against Ashara Dayne as other “Popular Theories”

Because I could not stop for Death – He kindly stopped for me –   The Carriage held but just Ourselves –   And Immortality. - Emily Dickinson

The shadow cast by Lyanna and Rhaegar’s romance found many agency-deprived Rebellion ladies meeting their doom.  Often called “The Dead Ladies Club” by members of the fandom (commonly coined by JoannaLannister), we rifle through pages of women led to slaughter by the same societal standards that they’re told will nourish them.  While not the leading, love interest, Ashara Dayne encompasses the “lady-in-purple” idea; a sexualized enigma.  Ashara’s reintroduction furthers her importance, the reader glimpsing her through Catelyn, Arya and Barristan chapters.

As far as dead ladies go, Lyanna Stark clocks in at a whopping twenty-six mentions by name in AGOT, while Ashara Dayne bottoms a lowly ten for the entire series.  Does that ten look small? Of course. But the consistent spacing of that ten serves as an important reminder: Ashara Dayne’s mystery still lies in the ocean, unresolved.

The game of Telephone surrounding Ashara’s fate warrants questioning.  Characters hiding post-Rebellion are constantly being introduced to the story, and each page begs: what reveal comes next?  

It’s not enough to ask “why” Ashara would be in hiding to justify some of the crazier theories.  Isolating her arc helps us closely examine the mystery at hand, balancing theories by what adds depth to her story.

If Ashara fakes her death, as popular theories tend to offer, there are many interesting ideas about her fate - but many tend to fail under a microscope.

Justice for Elia

Yet sometimes Dany would picture the way it had been, so often had her brother told her the stories. The midnight flight to Dragonstone, moonlight shimmering on the ship's black sails. Her brother Rhaegar battling the Usurper in the bloody waters of the Trident and dying for the woman he loved. The sack of King's Landing by the ones Viserys called the Usurper's dogs, the lords Lannister and Stark. Princess Elia of Dorne pleading for mercy as Rhaegar's heir was ripped from her breast and murdered before her eyes. The polished skulls of the last dragons staring down sightlessly from the walls of the throne room while the Kingslayer opened Father's throat with a golden sword. -Daenerys I, AGOT

One dark day in 283 AC, Elia Martell of Dorne learned that monsters were real. As family and life were ripped from her arms, one thing was certain: Dorne would not forgive the parties involved until Justice was served.  From ASOS on, we are introduced to the Justice For Elia plot, and as we travel along, the plot thickens - as it tends to.  A long-thought dead exiled Lord and a ragtag crew of Rebellion Nobodies turns up, advocating for what seems to be the lost son of Rhaegar and Elia, Aegon Targaryen.

The Soiled Septa

There was something wonderfully wicked about the thought of peeling the septa out of those chaste white robes and spreading her legs. Innocence despoiled, he thought … though Lemore was not near as innocent as she appeared. She had stretch marks on her belly that could only have come from childbirth.

-Tyrion IV, ADWD

At the surface, Ashara Dayne as Septa Lemore is an easy fit.  A group of B-List Rebellion members emerge from the depths of the story, embarking on a journey to enthrone Rhaegar Targaryen’s suddenly-alive-son. A mysterious septa with long, dark hair and tactfully placed stretch marks ignite a spark in the reader.  “Wait! You said everyone is in hiding from the rebellion! This is the perfect place to find Ashara!” Readers wait with baited breath for a reveal in (fake!)Aegon’s camp, and they’re waiting for something that will never come.

Afterward, Nurse had Ser Jorah's chains fastened to a stake near the cookfire whilst he escorted the two dwarfs inside the master's pavilion and showed them where they would sleep, in a carpeted alcove separated from the main tent by walls of yellow silk. They would share this space with Yezzan's other treasures: a boy with twisted, hairy "goat legs," a two-headed girl out of Mantarys, a bearded woman, and a willowy creature called Sweets who dressed in moonstones and Myrish lace. "You are trying to decide if I'm a man or woman," Sweets said, when she was brought before the dwarfs. Then she lifted her skirts and showed them what was underneath. "I'm both, and master loves me best."A grotesquerie, Tyrion realized. Somewhere some god is laughing. "Lovely," he said to Sweets, who had purple hair and violet eyes, "but we were hoping to be the pretty ones for once."

-Tyrion X ADWD

Lemore is introduced through both Tyrion and Jon Connington. Tyrion spends a solid half of ADWD gushing about Valyrian Lore in his brain, and the other half feeling sorry for himself (and being a general drunken sack of crap). Given what we know about Tyrion’s obsession with old Valyria, and what we know about Ashara’s physique: why didn’t Tyrion mention Septa Lemore’s eyes?  ‘He’s distracted by her body,’ arguments arise, ‘he was already overwhelmed by the stretchmarks.’ Well, friends, those arguments are ridiculous.

When Lemore climbed back onto the deck, Tyrion savored the sight of water trickling between her breasts, her smooth skin glowing golden in the morning light. She was past forty, more handsome than pretty, but still easy on the eye. Being randy is the next best thing to being drunk, he decided. It made him feel as if he was still alive. "Did you see the turtle, Hugor?" the septa asked him, wringing water from her hair. "The big ridgeback?"

-Tyrion IV, ADWD

The most defining description of Ashara in eleven on-page mentions are her haunting (or laughing) violet eyes.  In Tyrion IV, Tyrion sees Young Griff’s eyes are a dark blue or purple in the dusk.  In Tyrion X, a few chapters after Lemore’s stretch marks appear, Tyrion makes note of a slave’s purple eyes.  Too easy to miss, and completely out of character for Tyrion to ignore.

The prince arrived to join them four days later, riding at the head of a column of a hundred horse, with three elephants lumbering in his rear. Lady Lemore was with him, garbed once more in the white robes of a septa. Before them went Ser Rolly Duckfield, a snow-white cloak streaming from his shoulders.

-The Lost Lord, ADWD

Prince Aegon Targaryen was not near as biddable as the boy Young Griff had been, however. The better part of an hour had passed before he finally turned up in the solar, with Duck at his side. "Lord Connington," he said, "I like your castle."

-The Griffin Reborn, ADWD

Tyrion isn’t the only POV with an affinity for purple eyes, either.  Connington turns attention to Young Griff’s eyes, reminiscing on Rhaegar’s deep purple set.

"Your father's lands are beautiful," he said. His silvery hair was blowing in the wind, and his eyes were a deep purple, darker than this boy's.

-The Griffin Reborn, ADWD

Yet Connington - one of Ashara’s famed tourney dance partners (Bran II, ASOS) - fails to mention that Lemore catches his eye in the same way. In fact, there is no mention of Lemore’s eye color in any of the chapters she appears in.

Were eye color not enough to dispel the Lemore/Ashara theory, age throws it where it belongs: in a trash can.  Tyrion guesses Lemore past forty - where Tyrion has misjudged age in ASOIAF before (“Tyrion sighed. "You are remarkably polite for a bastard, Snow. What you see is a dwarf. You are what, twelve?" "Fourteen," the boy said.” - Tyrion II, AGOT), one to two years is not a very drastic difference. Martin has stated Ashara would be in her thirties if alive (SSM) - to be in her forties, she would have been born between 250 and 260 AC, which puts Ashara 22 to 32 years old during the Tourney at Harrenhal.  While 22 isn’t unbelievable, anything older just doesn’t fit Martin’s thematic and harrowing depictions of young, tragic Rebellion ladies. (see Ashara Dayne Age Calculation in Pt.I reddit/tumblr)

Aegon’s crew unfolds in ADWD, revealing these nameless survivors of the Rebellion - and countless questions.  An exiled lord, a rogue almost-maester, an apprentice smith with a shady past, and a soiled septa; all with reasons to hide, implementing the “rightful king” on the iron throne. But where does Ashara fit?  Besides Connington, the group seems to be comprised of… well, nobodies. In fact, the whole plot is pretty dead end, whether the real Aegon or not - Aunt Dany and her Dragons loom just ahead, surrounding Young Griff’s political campaign with fire, blood, and ultimately death.  

"Prince Aegon was Rhaegar's heir by Elia of Dorne," Ser Jorah said. "But if he was this prince that was promised, the promise was broken along with his skull when the Lannisters dashed his head against a wall."

-Daenerys V, ACOK

Many find themselves desperately wanting to fulfill the Lemore connection, to find closure for the mystery behind Ashara Dayne.  But when readers tug at the plot to make their theories fit, there are parts that don’t flow.

So be it. He had grown fond of Lemore, but that did not mean he required her approval. Her task had been to instruct the prince in the doctrines of the Faith, and she had done that. No amount of prayer would put him on the Iron Throne, however. That was Griff's task. He had failed Prince Rhaegar once. He would not fail his son, not whilst life remained in his body.

-The Lost Lord, ADWD

Ashara Dayne, after losing friends and family, goes into hiding, only to emerge, championing Elia Martell’s born-again child and teach him about the Faith.  Heck, let’s take it deeper, like most fans tend to: Ashara Dayne, who had a stillborn child, mad with grief after Ned Stark returned her family’s ancestral sword home, ‘slaying her brother’, emerges from committing suicide, championing Elia Martell’s born-again child and teaching him about the faith.  Ashara once more is turned into the sexy woman getting watched by seven guys on a boat, much like her place in the Tourney at Harrenhal, and much like her place in the fandom: stuck on a pedestal.

The months Ashara spent attending Elia of Dorne - yes, months, and definitely no more than a year - weren’t months of Ashara skipping down hallways, giggling and singing songs with fellow bedmaids and the Princess. Rhaenys’ birth was extremely traumatic, leaving Elia bedridden half a year (The Griffin Reborn, ADWD).  It is doubtful the Daynes and Martells were distant, per se, but besides Ashara’s dancing with Oberyn at Harrenhal, Arthur being a sworn brother to Lewyn, and House Dayne’s fealty to House Martell… we don’t have textual basis for a strong relationship between the Dayne and Martell family. In fact, the strongest friendship Arthur is referenced having throughout TWOIAF and ASOIAF (besides Connington and sworn brothers) happens to be with Rhaegar Targaryen.

Comparing it to present-day ASOIAF, Alys Karstark hadn’t seen the Stark brothers since she was six years old (ADWD, Jon IX). Northmen are loyal (to a fault, as we know the Dornish vassals can be), but there is nothing that suggests that House Martell and Dayne’s children were more than casual friends, just as House Karstark and Stark: it is more likely they merely met whenever their parents convened/arranged.

The Rebellion Dayne gang aren’t brought up in a single Dornish chapter, barring Gerold’s introduction (The Queensmaker, AFFC).  The first mention of Ashara through someone related to her, Ned Dayne, informs Arya her dad was in love with her; with not a single Martell name-drop. Beneath the theory’s already fragile surface, there is weaker motivation: Ashara Dayne showing up with a group of B/C-list Rebellion characters to help a son she never met, of a friend she barely knew, relies closely on House allegiancy.

And what about the eventual demise of “Aegon” “Targaryen”? With Young Griff’s heritage speculated (and arguably accepted as fandom-wide canon at this point) to be from the Blackfyre line or faked, the laid seeds of “Aegon Targaryen” are lost in Ashara Dayne’s narrative. Jon Connington spends years in exile raising the “perfect Prince”, only to fail once more, never avenging his silver Prince.  Ashara once more finds herself enveloped in tragedy for someone else’s story.  This ending does nothing but cheapen her original demise.

Fan theories often outline outlandish ideas, too complicated to be solved in the last two ASOIAF books: Ashara was in love with Rhaegar and couldn’t be with him, Ashara was dishonored by Aerys II and had his baby; there’s even a rather unsavory “Brandon Stark and Ashara Dayne” theory I’ll tear apart later.

So where are the textual ties to the stillborn/baby alive theories?

Daenerys has the same eyes. Sometimes when the queen looked at him, he felt as if he were looking at Ashara's daughter …

But Ashara's daughter had been stillborn, and his fair lady had thrown herself from a tower soon after, mad with grief for the child she had lost, and perhaps for the man who had dishonored her at Harrenhal as well. She died never knowing that Ser Barristan had loved her. How could she? He was a knight of the Kingsguard, sworn to celibacy. No good could have come from telling her his feelings. No good came from silence either. If I had unhorsed Rhaegar and crowned Ashara queen of love and beauty, might she have looked to me instead of Stark?

-The Kingbreaker, ADWD

Not a single character factually knows of Ashara’s stillbirth; Barristan, an established unreliable narrator, thinks of how he might have done things differently to avoid the war, and the memory of Ashara’s “child” come rushing to the front. Martin time and time again wants the reader to remember that characters don’t always see things through a “20/20” lens, as seen in Barristan’s thoughts regarding Quentyn Martell.

Prince Quentyn was listening intently, at least. That one is his father’s son. Short and stocky, plain-faced, he seemed a decent lad, sober, sensible, dutiful … but not the sort to make a young girl’s heart beat faster. And Daenerys Targaryen, whatever else she might be, was still a young girl, as she herself would claim when it pleased her to play the innocent. Like all good queens she put her people first—else she would never have wed Hizdahr zo Loraq—but the girl in her still yearned for poetry, passion, and laughter. She wants fire, and Dorne sent her mud.

-The Discarded Knight, ADWD

Dany unrolled the parchment and examined it again. Braavos. This was done in Braavos, while we were living in the house with the red door. Why did that make her feel so strange?

She found herself remembering her nightmare. Sometimes there is truth in dreams. Could Hizdahr zo Loraq be working for the warlocks, was that what the dream had meant? Could the dream have been a sending? Were the gods telling her to put Hizdahr aside and wed this Dornish prince instead?

-Daenerys VII, ADWD

It becomes easy to accept Barristan’s thoughts on Daenerys’ suitors at face value, until we remember Daenerys’ thoughts on Quentyn.  We know that, had he come to the Dragon Queen earlier, it would have been an easy alliance.  Barristan finds Daenerys’ behavior rash when it comes to Daario Naharis, the studly sellsword with nothing to offer her but his weapon and member. But at this point in the story, Daenerys has ceased sleeping with Naharis, and sacrificed personal and political ambitions to keep peace in Meereen.  

Where Barristan sees a young girl choosing fire, he does not know every conflict that plagues her mind, each internal thought she grapples with. The idea that Barristan projected what happened to Ashara isn’t farfetched.  Once more, the reader is given more information than Barristan seems to know - we know that there is more at play in the story than the idea that Daenerys is a silly little girl with silly little girl dreams.  Barristan’s projections on Quentyn sound a lot like “might she have looked to me instead of Stark” come again.

The Baby Swap

“Or was it the grieving sister, the Lady Ashara? She threw herself into the sea, I'm told. Why was that? For the brother you slew, or the child you stole?” -Eddard XII, AGOT

The idea of the Tower of Joy being part of a bigger conspiracy allows  ideas and answers that, while eccentric, are open minded approaches in sifting through text. With the amount of information that we aren’t given, credit where credit is due: some crazy stuff could have gone down surrounding the Tower of Joy.  We just don’t know.  What we can use to reel us in is how the reveal would come to be - and how it affects the overall story.

Some theories go too far.  When the phrases “Ashara + Aerys = Aegon”, “Ashara + Brandon = Jon/Aegon”, “Ashara + Ned = Jon/Aegon” pop up in any which order, I can’t help but cringe.  I say this at the risk of crucifixion, but if you’re with me thus far, some of these ideas are too outlandish to work. Whether you accept the canon of the show, or have actually read the same books we have been reading, Jon’s parentage has been more than hinted at. However this mess pans out,  I feel we’ve come to the point in our adult lives where we can and should accept that Rhaegar and Lyanna are the parents of Jon Snow/Stark/Garyen/Sand.  Ned’s fever dreams, his trauma, sheltering his family and daughters, and his entire AGOT investigative arc loses all emotional resonance when Jon’s parentage is assigned to someone not Lyanna and Rhaegar.  Daenerys’ House of the Undying visions,  Ned’s ferocious love for ‘whoever Jon’s mother must have been’ (Catelyn II, AGOT); they become hollow thoughts on a piece of paper, and not at all how Martin plants and harvests his writings.  

“Prince Rhaegar's friend might have been on hand when my father sacked King's Landing, to save Prince Rhaegar's precious little son from getting his royal brains dashed out against a wall."

The lad flushed. "That was not me. I told you. That was some tanner's son from Pisswater Bend whose mother died birthing him. His father sold him to Lord Varys for a jug of Arbor gold. He had other sons but had never tasted Arbor gold. Varys gave the Pisswater boy to my lady mother and carried me away."

"Aye." Tyrion moved his elephants. "And when the pisswater prince was safely dead, the eunuch smuggled you across the narrow sea to his fat friend the cheesemonger, who hid you on a poleboat and found an exile lord willing to call himself your father. It does make for a splendid story, and the singers will make much of your escape once you take the Iron Throne… “

-Tyrion VI, ADWD

The younger sister of Arthur Dayne gets knocked up in King’s Landing by someone of extremely convenient genetics, and has the child taken away from her - possibly as “the Pisswater Prince”.  Varys, being the one who stole a child from Ashara, switches the babies, and she raises Elia’s son as her own until the time is right.

When the lad emerged from the cabin with Lemore by his side, Griff looked him over carefully from head to heel. The prince wore sword and dagger, black boots polished to a high sheen, a black cloak lined with blood-red silk. With his hair washed and cut and freshly dyed a deep, dark blue, his eyes looked blue as well. At his throat he wore three huge square-cut rubies on a chain of black iron, a gift from Magister Illyrio. Red and black. Dragon colors. That was good. "You look a proper prince," he told the boy. "Your father would be proud if he could see you."

-The Lost Lord, ADWD

Martin highlights Aegon and Rhaegar’s difference in eye color through Connington’s chapters. As PoorQuentyn mentions on Tumblr, Martin drops a Doylist hint for the reader in these chapters: the son’s eyes are not like the father’s - something Connington clings to, refusing to actually confront (“his eyes were a deep purple, darker than this boy's.”-The Griffin Reborn, ADWD).  If one of Ashara’s purposes in the story is to serve as a red herring for Jon Snow’s parentage to the public eye, she can’t possibly fulfill that and some sort of pseudo-mother for F!Aegon.  The truth of the matter: that’s sloppy, and there isn’t enough page-time for it.

Clear pathways lead from the stories of the Rebellion, and unite in current narrative. Elia Martell’s plot lives on through relatives as they seek revenge for the injustice done to their family, but ends in fire and blood through miscalculations along the way.  Lyanna Stark’s tragedy fronts us the savior, and allows us to follow Jon Snow as he transforms into the front line of battle against the Others and the Long Night to come.  Is Ashara Dayne left with no real end to her plot, solely serving purpose as a sacrificial lamb?  Where do her lines lead, and what results because of her story?

The Wild Wolf

"Someone has been down here stealing swords. Brandon's is gone as well."

"He would hate that." She pulled off her glove and touched his knee, pale flesh against dark stone. "Brandon loved his sword. He loved to hone it. 'I want it sharp enough to shave the hair from a woman's cunt,' he used to say. And how he loved to use it. 'A bloody sword is a beautiful thing,' he told me once."

"You knew him," Theon said.

The lantern light in her eyes made them seem as if they were afire. "Brandon was fostered at Barrowton with old Lord Dustin, the father of the one I'd later wed, but he spent most of his time riding the Rills. He loved to ride. His little sister took after him in that. A pair of centaurs, those two. And my lord father was always pleased to play host to the heir to Winterfell. My father had great ambitions for House Ryswell. He would have served up my maidenhead to any Stark who happened by, but there was no need. Brandon was never shy about taking what he wanted. I am old now, a dried-up thing, too long a widow, but I still remember the look of my maiden's blood on his cock the night he claimed me. I think Brandon liked the sight as well. A bloody sword is a beautiful thing, yes. It hurt, but it was a sweet pain.

-The Turncloak, ADWD

If the Rebellion and main text revolve around Lyanna and Rhaegar’s Tower of Joy lovefest - and the bouncing, bundled product of it - there are silly theories we can knock off from the start.  Ashara Dayne and basically anyone producing Jon Snow, for instance.

Passion is a driving force where this Ashara theory is concerned, and hinges on little to no textual evidence, but rather, once more, an easy means to ending Ashara’s plot.  Brandon Stark, the older wolf brother: sexy, arrogant, wooing the tantalizingly ‘hot’ Dornish girl.  First requesting her favor to dance with the solemn younger brother, and later ‘dishonoring’ her in the heat of the night.  Where this theory works as an easy fit (‘had she turned to me instead of Stark, losing a child, killing herself out of grief’)  the finer details fail under examination.

Look.  We get it.  Brandon Stark was a Northern Stud. He hooked up with highborn girls, had long hair, dared to ride to the red keep - with an army - to call out the problematic silver-haired prophecy abiding hipster, Rhaegar Targaryen.  He was “badass”.  Cat knew it, Ned knew it, Barbrey knew it.  But did he really have time to throw one more highborn Lady into his juggling act?

Following Brandon’s timeline, his betrothal to Cat took place somewhere between 276 and 277 AC (Catelyn VI, ACOK).  In 281 AC, Brandon would have been posing as next-in-command for House Stark at the Tourney at Harrenhal, as Rickard didn’t attend - possibly keeping an eye out for an advantageous betrothal for Ned, the middle brother.  With Hoster Tully’s lack of attendance (speculated via the insult of Jaime Lannister’s Kingsguard induction - and not marrying Lysa) there’s no chance Brandon would risk further spectacle.  Brandon, the born leader, was still seeing Barbrey (tourney was pre-wedding date announcement to Catelyn) and betrothed to Catelyn Tully; someone would tell.  Someone always tells.

Some theorists latch on to forbidden love in the dungeons of the Red Keep, and the dates just don’t line up. The only opportunity for Ashara Dayne to get pregnant by Brandon Stark would have been during the Tourney at Harrenhal in 281 AC.  Following the tourney, Elia Martell returned home to Dragonstone, giving birth to Aegon in early 282 AC. Ashara, ‘not long at court’ (The Kingbreaker, ADWD) would make for Dorne; and if rumors were true, pregnant.  Brandon Stark’s famous death at the hands of Aerys II Targaryen took place in early 282 AC in the throne room of King’s Landing.

Ashara’s ‘death’ - and Brandon’s more certain one - is used as a convenient device in these theories.  Without either to give their living word, how can we possibly disprove it?  But at the same time, how can we possibly prove it?  Brandon’s story is over; the songs have been written, the wild wolf has been put to sleep. But Ashara’s mentions don’t fade, like her story has. What would Ashara Dayne’s romance with a very officially dead man, many years ago, add to the narrative?  With Jon Snow’s parentage being of the Dragon and the She-Wolf, and both Ned and Brandon long gone, there would be zero point in any Ashara and Brandon reveal: dead or alive.

Wrapped in Starlight

"If you have some warning for me, speak plainly. What do you want of me, Quaithe?"

Moonlight shone in the woman's eyes. "To show you the way." -Daenerys II, ADWD

Quaithe of the Shadow appears in Daenerys’ POV’s across ASOIAF (ACOK I, II, III, ASOS III, ADWD II, X).   A Shadowbinder from Asshai maintaining a certain amount of mystery, she appears periodically to deliver cryptic messages and prophecies to Daenerys - she even projects herself through the stars.  Where Quaithe is bathed in starlight and enigmas, many speculate the imagery and mystique matches Ashara Dayne, leaving hints to help the Dragon’s daughter.  

Once more, an easy fit from outside - a woman with a hidden identity and lacquered mask, speaking in riddles, never revealing herself to reader or POV character.

Dany had not noticed Quaithe in the crowd, yet there she stood, eyes wet and shiny behind the implacable red lacquer mask. "What mean you, my lady?"

-Daenerys III, ACOK

Much like the Lemore theory, diving skin-deep into the Quaithe as Ashara theory is enough to break it.  Dany mentions Quaithe’s eyes twice - once in ACOK, another in ADWD.  Wouldn’t Daenerys be surprised by and eager to explore Quaithe’s purple eyes, something that would signify some sort of Valyrian connection to her; Daenerys, who yearns for home, constantly craving the company of the family she never knew?

Two direct mentions of Quaithe’s eyes make the page, with zero descriptions of color.  In ADWD alone, Daenerys focuses specifically on Ser Barristan and Missandei’s eye colors.  if Quaithe had anything majorly important about her eyes, the audience would be aware.

Most sinister of all the sorcerers of Asshai are the shadowbinders, who's lacquered masks hide their faces from the eyes of gods and men. They alone dare to go up river past the walls of Asshai, into the heart of darkness.

-TWOIAF

"All sorcery comes at a cost, child. Years of prayer and sacrifice and study are required to work a proper glamor."

"Years?" she said, dismayed.

-Arya II, AFFC

And so the theory goes.  Ashara Dayne, in hiding from the Rebellion, begins training to become a shadowbinder, with 15-20 years under her belt to suddenly become heckin’ mystical, wearing a mask, communicating to Daenerys with a glass candle, haunting her dreams, meeting her in Qarth.

"What feeds a dragon's fire?" Marwyn seated himself upon a stool. "All Valyrian sorcery was rooted in blood or fire. The sorcerers of the Freehold could see across mountains, seas, and deserts with one of these glass candles. They could enter a man's dreams and give him visions, and speak to one another half a world apart, seated before their candles. Do you think that might be useful, Slayer?"

-Samwell V, AFFC

Last of the three seekers to depart was Quaithe the shadowbinder. From her Dany received only a warning. "Beware," the woman in the red lacquer mask said.

"Of whom?"

"Of all. They shall come day and night to see the wonder that has been born again into the world, and when they see they shall lust. For dragons are fire made flesh, and fire is power."

When Quaithe too was gone, Ser Jorah said, "She speaks truly, my queen . . . though I like her no more than the others."

-Daenerys II, ACOK

While House Dayne’s mystical qualities seem to be important, Shadowbinders are of the night.  They work their art in darkness, where Ashara and her immediate family seem to be of the light, Arthur as the Sword of the Morning.  With so little text about Quaithe and House Dayne, this is a theory that’s as  hard to rebuff as to prove.

If Quaithe is using a glass candle to communicate with Daenerys, or at least is aware of the burning glass candles, she is using/seeing a Valyrian method of magical contact; which ...isn’t very Dayne.  Descending originally from First Men, and commonly theorized from the Great Empire of the Dawn, Valyrian sorcery and Shadowbinding both hold one similar trait: House Dayne doesn’t seem to have a history with it.

The woman took a step backward. "You must leave this city soon, Daenerys Targaryen, or you will never be permitted to leave it at all."

Dany's wrist still tingled where Quaithe had touched her. "Where would you have me go?" she asked.

"To go north, you must journey south. To reach the west, you must go east. To go forward you must go back, and to touch the light you must pass beneath the shadow."

-Daenerys III, ASOS

So where does the Daenerys connection come into play?  Did Ashara Dayne hold so much regard for Rhaegar Targaryen - and whatever prophecy may or may not have come into play - that she threw herself off of a tower, faked her death, and dedicated the next decade and a half to becoming a magical sorceress for his sister?  Doubtful - that doesn’t seem to be where her loyalty lie.

The biggest truth of any of these theories? We don’t have enough page time for them.  Whatever Ashara’s fate becomes in the books, the nature of its reveal won’t take up more than a handful of pages - at best.  With eleven mentions (ten by name) in the story, and 155+ plot threads to be wrapped up, Ashara currently has about 850 words surrounding her plot - out of 1.77 million words in the entire story.  That’s far less than 1% of the plot. This story is huge, and while Ashara Dayne played an integral part in the Rebellion - whatever it was - a chapter long reveal of these theories is not in the cards at this point.

[aion-rsa]

How GTA Online Taught Us to Be Careful What We Wish For

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As we all continue to wait for any official information about GTA 6, news has broken that GTA 5 has surpassed the 140 million units sold mark. Perhaps more impressively, reports reveal that 2020 was the most successful sales year in GTA 5 history outside of the game’s release in 2013. While that success can be attributed to a variety of factors, there’s little doubt that the game’s stunning longevity is largely due to the popularity of GTA Online.

I don’t remember exactly when I first dreamed of an online Grand Theft Auto game, but I’m certain it wasn’t too long after I played GTA 3 in 2001. Around that time, my friends and I started asking the simple question, “What if we could play that with each other?”

That question grew more complicated as the GTA games did the same. Vice City‘s real estate mechanic inspired dreams of online wars for the control of the city, while San Andreas’ greatly expanded the scope of GTA’s sandbox from a size and activity standpoint. GTA 4 actually featured numerous online modes, but its collection of rigid multiplayer matches and simplistic free roam option often fell short of offering the full “GTA but with friends” experience that fans had wished for.

Then, it finally happened. In 2013, Rockstar confirmed that GTA 5 would feature exactly the kind of multiplayer mode that fans had dreamt of for years. Actually, with its expansive online map, progression system, various modes of play, and community options, GTA Online’s reveal suggested that it would be something greater than anyone could have ever wished for. Little did we know that the finger on a monkey’s paw curled somewhere in the world shortly after this trailer’s release:

GTA Online’s problems were evident from the very first time many of us tried to play the game. Actually, it’s very much worth emphasizing the word “tried.” GTA Online’s servers were such a mess at launch that you’ have roughly as much luck now trying to buy a PS5 against an army of bots as you would have had logging in to GTA Online when it launched in 2013. Shortly after all that happened, Rockstar issued the standard apologies, worked some server magic, and fixed a variety of bugs. It took a few weeks, but we finally got to a point when you could log on to GTA Online at will and experience a mostly stable version of the game. 

That’s when things got really interesting. As it turned out, sharing your GTA experience with others meant that you’d be playing with people who saw you as just another NPC in their sandbox. It wasn’t long before you started to hear reports of players mercilessly attacking others in the game’s open-world. It was generally amusing the first few times, but for some, these trolls essentially started to dictate the way that you had to play the game just to stay alive in the world. What’s worse is that many of them had already started relying on hacks other cheats that devastated an already uneven playing field. 

Players could theoretically turn to GTA Online’s various missions, races, and other activities to escape the open-world mayhem, but those offered little relief. Many of GTA Online’s initial activities were essentially variant’s of the campaign’s most basic missions but without any narrative stakes to elevate them. Their simplicity was made that much more apparent by the game’s underdeveloped initial progression system which left players little to do with the money they were earning and forced everyone to wonder what, exactly, “RP” was.

Don’t take my word on GTA Online’s bad old days. In a 2017 interview with IGN, Rockstar’s director of design, Imran Sarwar, admitted that GTA Online’s “launch and first eight or nine months” were not successful. To make matters worse, he says that things reached a point where the developers themselves were “not excited enough by the updates we were making.” The game was rapidly losing players and Rockstar was still devoting considerable resources to hunting bugs and keeping the servers alive. 

That’s where I left GTA Online in 2014. I knew it was possible to have fun in the game, but I was convinced that the mode would end up being a Sea of Thieves style experience that would essentially require you to play with the right group of friends in the right state of mind if you were going to get anything substantial out of it. It felt like Rockstar had ultimately created an elaborate way to kill some time while we waited for GTA 6.

Of course, that’s not what happened. GTA Online went on to earn almost $1.5 billion just four years after its release. It’s estimated that GTA Online earned nearly $600 million in revenue in 2019 alone. Suddenly, talks of GTA 6 were limited to wild online conspiracies and an endless parade of rumors of that marched on as it became increasingly clear that GTA Online was rapidly becoming the face of the GTA franchise. 

What happened to spark such an historic turnaround? It came down to a few factors. 

Read more

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GTA 6 Timeline and Era Rumors: When Will the Game Be Set?

By Matthew Byrd

First off, GTA Online did get better. Just a couple of years after its release, GTA Online’s content updates were not only more frequent but far more substantial. That’s especially true of one of the game’s 2015 updates which finally added the ability to participate in campaign-style heists with your friends. Those kinds of features contributed to the idea that the spirit of GTA 5 lived on indefinitely within GTA Online.

Not long after, GTA Online became the centerpiece of an unexpected rise in role-playing streams and YouTube videos. While the mode’s chaotic nature and expansive toolset made it an instant hit in the YouTube community, a new generation of creators were crafting characters, scenarios, and the kinds of storylines that felt painfully absent from the mode’s early days. There certainly seems to be a correlation between GTA’s increased sales over the last couple of years and the willingness of the game’s community to make their own fun and share their almost fanfic like adventures with others.

Yet, if you’re wondering how GTA has managed to become the second-highest selling game of all-time, and why it’s regularly on the best-selling games charts seven years after its release, then you have to talk about the title’s expanded progression system and the growing importance of the game’s microtransactions. 

GTA Online lets you place elaborate bets in a casino before you hop into your rocket-propelled supercar and go back to work as the CEO of a criminal enterprise. However, all of those things come at a price. GTA Online not only features one of the more extensive microtransaction systems in gaming but one of the more subtly wicked ones. Most major GTA Online content releases typically feature high-end pieces of content typically initially reserved for the game’s “whales.” For instance, buying the best office in the mode’s CEO update would have cost you 4 million in-game dollars (without any of the accessories). If you wanted to buy a microtransaction card that would instantly reward you with that much in-game cash, it would cost you about 60 real-life dollars. 

If you’re thinking “Wow, that’s about as much as GTA 5 costs,” then you’ve stumbled on the fiscal brilliance of the game’s microtransaction system. GTA Online‘s updates are free, but each typically introduces a ton of new items waiting to be purchased. While even the larger updates are not nearly the size of a proper new GTA game, it’s certainly possible to spend as much time with any of them as you would on a new GTA single-player game if you’re trying to unlock everything without spending money. Unlike GTA single-player games that sometimes leave you with a ton of cash and nothing to spend it on, GTA Online often leaves you feeling like you can never quite have enough money.

GTA Online is hardly unique in that respect, but few games come close to matching the “FOMO” feeling that it inspires. Actually, in a game all about characters, customization, and creating opportunities, you’re don’t just feel like you’re missing out by not being able to sail around on a yacht or afford the hottest new vehicle. What would be simple cosmetics in other live service games becomes much more substantial in GTA Online.

Believe it or not, though, this isn’t necessarily an indictment of GTA Online’s microtransactions nor is it a rant against the quality of the online mode itself. No, the most worrisome element of GTA Online’s success at this point is what it will do and has already done) to GTA 6 as well as those who never really got into the mode in the first place.

The earliest days of the GTA Online dream can be attributed to a desire to share our GTA campaign experiences with others indefinitely. In some ways, GTA Online grew to offer that experience, but it came with ironic compromises. You could play with others, but that means having to play with others. You can accomplish fantastic things not even possible in the campaign, but you’ll often essentially have to keep buying GTA games to instantly access them. You can experience infinite new stories but you are often required to write, direct, and act in them. 

GTA Online growing to be (in many ways) exactly what I dreamed it could be has led me to reexamine my wish. What I and others may not have fully appreciated at the time of GTA’s earlier days was that there was a pleasure in bouncing around a world of largely curated content that a community-driven game may never be able to replicate. It’s part of the reason why Skryim is one of the most successful and beloved games of all-time but not everyone who loved Skyrim is interested in The Elder Scrolls Online. Those kinds of online expansions aren’t simply “what you love, but more of it.” There is a beauty to the illusion of freedom in an open-world single-player game that may have felt prohibitive at a time when we wondered if a multiplayer game could ever offer such an experience but seems necessary at a time when too many games rely on the assumption that you want to be online all the time and constantly playing with others.

Over the years, Rockstar has made it very clear that our hopes for GTA 4-style single-player expansions for GTA 5 are largely in vain, despite the fact they once teased single-player DLC that was initially supposed to be released in 2014. Sometimes, the company is diplomatic about that content shift by stating that their decision to focus on GTA Online content just kind of happened organically. Other times, company representatives like Imran Sarwar throw cold water on the whole thing by suggesting that GTA 4’s brilliant expansions only happened because of a “big deal in place with Microsoft that meant we were obliged to make the expansions.”

Would we be playing GTA 6 if it wasn’t for GTA Online? Maybe not, but the success of that mode has almost certainly left us with a world where Rockstar has barely talked about a new GTA game in over seven years but has released versions of GTA 5 and GTA Online across three different generations of game consoles. 

We’re reaching a point when GTA 6’s release is just as likely to be fuelled by the hypothetical diminishing returns of GTA Online‘s revenue as it is Rockstar’s creative ambitions. While Rockstar has stated that they feel part of GTA Online’s success can be attributed to the idea that it offers a little something for everyone who likes different elements of the GTA games, GTA Online has never and will never offer an entirely new story with entirely new characters set in an entirely new world that is entirely ours to experience exactly as we see fit. No matter what new update comes out, how many great RP stories or told, or what possibilities some incredible new toy opens, GTA Online will never be GTA 6 as we imagine that game based on the precedent set by the previous releases in this incredible franchise.

And yet, there is this GTA game out there packed with fresh (and often exciting) content that you’ve never played if you stopped playing the game after finishing the GTA 5 campaign. It’s out there, but at the same time, it isn’t. Like the zombified remains of a former lover that we’ve wished back from the grave without considering exactly what we were asking for, GTA Online lingers temptingly outside the door even as we know that what we’ll find when we open it is exactly what we asked for but perhaps not what we really wanted.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

GTA Online continues to thrive thanks largely to its popularity amongst those who continue to pay for the game, but years later, it’s starting to feel like those who don’t play the mode as they wait for a proper new GTA have also been paying for too long.

The post How GTA Online Taught Us to Be Careful What We Wish For appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[acsversace-news]

The bottom line: Penelope Cruz and Edgar Ramirez take a backseat to Darren Criss in a juicy if uneven saga.

The scope of the "trial of the century" — its racial and economic implications and the fact that it featured one of the country's most famous people and played out on national television — made the O.J. Simpson saga a logical choice as the backdrop for Ryan Murphy's first American Crime Storyseason.

The anthology's second installment, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, has to work a little harder to make what is certainly a portrait of the bedsore-ridden underbelly of the American Dream feel like a match. Adapted from Maureen Orth's Vulgar Favors by London Spy creator Tom Rob Smith, The Assassination of Gianni Versace juggles three storylines and an innovative crimes-in-reverse structure in a way that yields a disturbing character study and an assortment of strong performances. Still, through eight of the nine episodes, it isn't quite as convincing or thematically unified as The People v. O. J. Simpson.

The Assassination of Gianni Versace begins in Miami in July 1997 with a contrast. Italian fashion icon Gianni Versace (Edgar Ramirez) lives in a beachfront villa oozing opulence from its palatial bathrooms to its gaping closets to the man-servants practically lining the hallways and the poolside terraces. Andrew Cunanan (Darren Criss) reads books about this world, but in reality he's falling apart physically and mentally. Before the Murphy-directed premiere is 10 minutes old, he has sought both symbolic rebirth in the ocean and notoriety by approaching Versace at his front gate and shooting him dead.

In the immediate aftermath of that tragedy, the pilot follows Cunanan as he flees the authorities, Versace's longtime partner Antonio (Ricky Martin) as he grieves and Versace's sister Donatella (Penelope Cruz) as she arrives and tries to hold the empire together. Subsequent episodes work backward, somewhat Memento-style, following Cunanan back through each step of his multi-state killing spree, sometimes paralleling his journey with key steps in Gianni's career and the building of his own brand and his own outsider identity.

A third thread, one insufficiently developed or explored, involves the failure of local, state and federal law enforcement to stop Cunanan, a debacle the series wants to connect to institutional homophobia, with limited success. This is the part of the story that feels most like the process-oriented People v. O.J. Simpson and the part that most viewers probably won't even notice. The series does well with "What a difference 20 years makes" glimpses at how being gay, and openly gay, impacted the way people lived their lives in 1997. But there's a leap to how that led to different treatment under the law that I believe completely in theory, but not at all in how it's executed here. It's also going to be tough to make audiences invest in procedural storylines led by Will Chase, Dascha Polanco and Jay Ferguson when there are movie stars playing famous people nearby.

Battling and largely overcoming a series of increasingly youthful hairpieces, Ramirez nails Versace's soft-spoken genius and he has good chemistry with a surprisingly sturdy, emotional Martin. My wariness that Cruz was perhaps overdoing Dontella's accent and mumble lasted until I watched one YouTube clip and suddenly I was astounded by how well she's evoking the real woman's transfixing oddness. The thing to know about these big name characters and performances is that they're decidedly supporting roles. Multiple episodes include either no Versace or a couple brief flashbacks, but if you're FX you can't push The Assassination of Gianni Versace by boasting that Aussie actor Codie Fern, solidly playing Cunanan victim David Madson, has more dialogue than Ramirez or that M*A*S*H veteran Mike Farrell, as Chicago real estate developer Lee Miglin, is nearly as important as Cruz.

The Assassination of Gianni Versace is mostly Andrew Cunanan's story and that's unsettling, because the archetype of the duplicitous, code-switching gay killer has long been one of Hollywood's most negative depictions — and Smith's reverse chronological structure means that Cunanan is introduced as a murderer before the series gradually backtracks into matters of motivation, and we generally only get to know his victims as humans in the episodes after we saw them become corpses. It's a challenge of dramatic irony, seeing if you can make viewers find a path to empathizing with a man previously depicted as a remorseless killer or to challenge us to feel grief for dispatched strangers and then tell us why their death was a loss. It mirrors coverage of the story, in which the celebrity casualty at the end of the spree turned Cunan's other victims, and his own story, into footnotes beneath the Versace headline.

While the Simpson season had the advantage of story with all of the built-in beats of a twisty trial and character details wrought from countless first-hand accounts, Smith has both less plot and fewer resources to work with. The structure is a reasonably effective cover for the linear variety, inserting practical mysteries — How did he meet that person? Where did he get that car? — and turning characters into riddles to be solved. With only an outsider's perspective on Cunanan, though, the arc he chooses is both plausible and very conventional. Expectations and sense-of-self warped by a disturbing childhood — Jon Jon Briones is dynamite as Cunan's father in a late episode — Andrew bucks his limited upward mobility through reinvention and through the construction of an American Dream facade until the lies and manipulation become self-deception. Criss plays it to the hilt, leaving constant questions as to how much control Andrew even has, but his whole arc has the feel of familiar fiction and not granular fact. Especially in the middle hours, in which Andrew is still only part-analyzed and the Versace story is an afterthought, it feels like you're watching a padded adaptation of The Talented Mr. Ripley and a thin reading of a real person.

Even when the portrait of Andrew isn't enlightening or you aren't sure you want this guy justified at all, The Assassination of Gianni Versace offers frequent pleasures. Production designer Judy Becker relishes the gold-leafed opulence of Versace's world, but she's just as enamored with the lurid stucco of a Miami flophouse or the cold sterility of a Minneapolis loft. And although Murphy isn't on quite the same "Everybody's a star" casting power trip as he was on OJ, he still gets great drop-in work from a career-redefining Farrell, the reliably superb Judith Light and, perhaps best of all, Max Greenfield, almost unrecognizably twitchy and emaciated as the Ratso Rizzo to Cunanan's Joe Buck in the season's second episode.

Although I had my doubts when I started, The Assassination of Gianni Versace shows why Murphy and company thought this was a story worth telling in this anthology. The tragic meeting of Gianni Versace, embodiment of the American Dream, and Andrew Cunanan, protean warper of the American Dream, holds up thematically if not always in the telling of the tale.

[jamesginortonblog]

BBC - Interview with James Norton (Alex Godman)

Tell us about your role

My role in McMafia is Alex Godman who is the son of Russian parents who were exiled from Moscow. He’s a young hedge fund manager living in London with his beautiful girlfriend Rebecca. He’s spent most of his life turning his back on his mafia past and establishing himself in the world of finance. Over the course of the show, for various reasons, he’s forced to confront his past and the show is his story as he delves deeper and deeper into that criminal underworld.

How did you prepare for the role?

The first thing every actor does is read the script, that’s your main resource. When I got the first episode I was so excited to devour it. James Watkins and Hossein Amini (screenwriters) tantalisingly fed me the rest of the episodes and I read them as quickly as I could. Each actor is different but the process for me is collecting the data and forming the world, so I read books about the mafia, Russia and finance, topics that I wasn’t particularly up to date with. Then after that, I had to essentially put it aside and forget it and get myself into the headspace the character would inhabit.

I did this bizarre thing where I spent time as Alex doing really mundane stuff, such as buying milk or brushing my teeth, in his headspace with his demons, his conflicts, desires and passions. It meant when I was on set and they called action, the headspace became quickly familiar to me. I think it freaked people out when I walked about as a schizophrenic Russian banker and then would go back to being me but that’s my process!

Do your close friends notice when you are doing that?

I would limit the process to people I didn’t know - for examples the shopkeepers who saw me from day to day near my house. One day I would go to their shops as me and the next day I’d be someone really different.

I have a theory that as an actor you should love the person you are playing, however abhorrent their actions might be. Alex is a good man, certainly at the beginning of the show, and sees the best in people. As the story goes on, certain demons emerge and that’s what I had to understand and was part of the challenge - not just understanding but loving him despite his faults.

Did you have to do any specific training for the role?

Yes, part of the preparation that I’d never done before was Systema, which is a Russian martial art that used by the Russian military a lot. Production introduced me to David, an instructor in London, and I went on an unusual but enriching journey. Alex goes to two or three classes a week and it represents his love for Russia and also his conflict. I would go with David and roll around with lots of big Russians and genuinely, it was magical. I learnt an enormous amount, it’s about breathing, balance, movement and having a centred core but also it’s about dealing with everyday life, fear and adrenalin. Alex is someone who is able to put himself into high risk situations which a lot of us would run away from, but he can centre himself, take control and thrive under pressure, which is a lot to do with his training.

What appealed most to you about McMafia?

Whenever a project arrives on your desk, you look at the whole package, the writer, the director, etc., but ultimately it comes down to the story and it’s just a gem. It’s a brilliant dramatic journey so immediately I was hooked and desperate for the rest. It was quickly clear that this was a special show. It’s also got a truly international cast and I’ve never been part of something like that, with 150 speaking roles most of which have gone to people from other countries than the UK. So everyone brings their own respective energy and craft. I’ve learnt an enormous amount from them and I got to speak a bit of Russian!

Did you struggle with the Russian?

It was a surprise when they mentioned I’d need to speak it! Alex speaks it badly as his parents are both Russian but he moved to the UK when he was nine, so he has a grasp but doesn’t speak it well. It was fun to play with, particularly in regards to his relationship with his father where they were sometimes speaking two different languages. I had a few Russian lines and I learnt them phonetically with the Russian translators on set. I’d also learn Dimitri’s lines in English and listen for the sounds. It’s a beautiful language even though I had no idea what I was saying!

Why do you think McMafia will appeal to audiences?

I think McMafia is unique because it’s a story about the mafia and there is something compelling and timeless about organised crime which makes great drama. The mafia has changed, particularly since the fall of the Soviet Union, it’s become a globalised corporation essentially. McMafia tells the story of the sexy side of the mafia which people are attracted to but also the cost of the lavish lifestyle, how it’s paid for and who pays for it. The most important asset though is it’s a great story, Alex is sucked into this dark twisted criminal underworld and you desperately want him to turn around but as is often the case with good drama he makes bad choices along the way.

Did you know much about this world before?

It’s a world which we are aware of but afraid to confront. I hadn’t read Misha Glenny’s book before I got the role but that was an eye opener to read, I was amazed and disturbed. It’s so pertinent and it’s an important conversation to have.

The show wasn’t filmed in sequence, was that hard to play?

It was a huge challenge as we constantly had to be aware of where we were, in the morning we could be in Tel Aviv, in the afternoon in Moscow and in London in the evening, so we were really careful to keep in control of that. Luckily we had Caroline in continuity to make sure James Watkins and I had guidance of where Alex was at particular parts of the story. There were a few times James Watkins stepped in to tell me that we needed to remember we were in episode six, not episode three, for example, and we need to mark where Alex was on his journey at that point. It was such a gain that we only had one director through it all, James Watkins was adamant he wanted to direct all eight episodes, which wouldn’t normally happen on a show like this, but there was no one better to take us through this huge eight hour arc than him!

You’ve filmed in lots of amazing locations, which stood out?

It would be hard to choose a highlight on this job. It was an adventure we all went on together for over eight months; we went to the most extraordinary locations and met the most ridiculously wonderful people.

We were able to film at these great London locations, like Lancaster House and the Victoria & Albert museum. It was wonderful when the public went home and we descended in mad glory with our white vans. In order to show the size and scope of the mafia the second unit filmed in places like Mumbai and Tel Aviv, but the main unit mostly focused on London and Croatia.

It was an eye opener filming in Croatia, which is an amazing place. It’s so versatile, the crew, the weather and how it was able to cater for an incredible number of countries.

Do you think the world of TV is changing and how does McMafia fit into that landscape?

It is definitely changing and McMafia is an example of that change. It is exciting that we have people involved in the show that have come from an international film background, which adds to the feeling that it’s almost like we’ve made an eight hour movie. James Watkins, our director, has shot it like a film, not just in regards to the way it looks but also the cast, the locations and the crew as well as the sheer scale and size of it. We’ve used drones, helicopters, there was a sense that there were no limitations and it’s amazing to have made something like that, with the backing of the BBC, AMC and Amazon. So that feels like a change in the way TV is and can be made, we had an immense amount of support and resources at our disposal.