#i missed this!! i've lost so much progress but it still feels good!

[gideonysis]

danny zuko'd gideon nav save me

[north-noire]

My Michael Afton throughout the years! ft. his own little doodles. I'll try to be brief about the timeline and how my Michael was without saying too much since it'll be explored in the Hidden Hands AU fic's chapters anyway so I won't say all the details. Feel free to read if you guys like! I have a lot to say about him.

1983 (FNAF 4) - Michael was 12 or 13-ish when the Bite happened. Very reckless yet adventurous kid. Didn't really hate Evan (William, as much as he had a soft spot for Evan, still loved Michael all the same), just had really bad friends and influence (his friends were mostly bullies) - and didn't really like that he's being told to parent a little brother he had no idea how to take care of. It didn't help that Evan tended to be a tattle-tail sometimes about the trouble he was getting into. Michael also, deep down, got scared of what the bullies would do to him if he dared stand up for his brother or spoke out against them, so he ends up going along with what they did for his own sake. After the Bite, Michael was still deeply guilty about what he did to Evan, and it haunts him every night, knowing he had no good excuse but irresponsibility for what he did to his brother, because after all, it wasn't like William wasn't giving him enough attention. Michael just knew that he deserved anything unfortunate coming to him, but is genuinely surprised that his father kept telling him he loved him all the same. From this point on, he becomes easily troubled, tends to stay close to his dad. Makes sure he follows the rules and doesn't do trouble. Just wants to do a complete personality shift, and is deeply ashamed of who he was before. 1985 (Charlie's death, Fredbear's Family Diner shuts down) - Michael was 15 here. Over the years, he slowly isolated himself from most of the people in his life since he gets worried about his past scars coming back to haunt him. Mostly a recluse and reserved. He's not handling things well after Charlie's death and a family divorce - not to mention the non-existent social life he had. Just prefers to be left alone, but he's nice if you get to know him. Doesn't really have a good relationship with Elizabeth, but is actually pretty close with William. Feels extremely guilty and hates himself/blames himself for Charlie's death. He gets paranoid easily, as he thinks whoever took Charlie is now after him, but his father tells him to not worry too much about it. 1987 (FNAF 2) - (17) Slowly having a good relationship with Elizabeth. Starts to get into stuff like the supernatural and becomes superstitious to a degree over the years. In public, he's mostly polite and nice, but his actual personality shows through whenever he's with his father or Elizabeth - he's sarcastic, and has quite a dark sense of humor, can be a bit of a rebel, he's just more subtle about it. A bit of an over-thinker - he gets lost in his imagination/head easily. Has a (surprisingly) good relationship with his dad, as he's not really afraid to be himself around him - sometimes gifts him funny things or something he knows his dad would love/would use (he gifts William a rabbit's foot - for good luck, he says). He also helped William build the Fun-Times with blueprints and other technicalities (He's not really aware of the questionable features they had, unfortunately). He couldn't really come with his father and Elizabeth on Circus Baby's Pizza World opening due to things he had to catch up with his home-schooling, he had been skipping classes to work on the Fun-Times, but he really wanted to graduate highschool with a bang, so he's giving everything his all, here. Then Elizabeth suddenly goes missing all of a sudden, and, well... I would say more, but my fic sort of takes a canon-divergence route around FNAF 2/SL-FNAF 1 so that would spoil half of the stuff I've been working/writing about! Reference-sheet wise, I just wanted to show how he progresses from a rebellious, happy and adventurous kid into a more reclused, anxious and soft-spoken adult. Sorry for the long post! I've just been wanting to talk about him for some time now. There's a looot more that I've left out but yeah that's because there will be more in the fic!

[weecherylita]

Thoughts on the Neil Gaiman Allegations

I followed Neil Gaiman on tumblr not because I'm a massive fan of his work (I've read two of his books, and one of those he co-wrote with someone else) but because it was interesting to get behind-the-scenes info about Good Omens.

Because he seemed, for the most part, to be a pretty affable and interesting person.

Because it was nice to see someone so prominent be willing to assert the rights and dignity of lgbt people, and most especially trans people in this era where they are being consistently vilified and used as a political punching bag in my own country and elsewhere.

Because his writing advice was decent, and he seemed to value and support artistic endeavour in all its forms.

Because the stories from readers talking about what his work had meant to them were a consistent reminder of the power of art to connect us all and transform our lives.

Because he consistently advocated kindness.

(I know some people have been saying he couldn't handle criticism and he bad-mouthed other public figures, but I think I must have missed those incidents - my impression was that he was very often complimenting and defending people).

It was a horrible shock to learn that (yet again) a creator I respected fell so far short of embodying the values he spoke up for. When things like that happen it can make you question human decency itself, especially when it just seems to keep happening again and again; public figures who seem so progressive turn out to be abusers. Is human goodness just a story we tell ourselves? Is genuine progress even possible, when those who speak up for it prove themselves to be so incapable of living by those ideals?

I don't know how much of Gaiman's public persona was genuine and how much was just a front for some consciously manipulative and predatory behaviour. To be honest, I'm not sure I care if we ever find out how much of what we saw was real. He's lost our respect - most likely forever, and he shouldn't be put in a position where he can abuse people's trust again.

I'm sorry for the people he hurt, and I hope they get time to heal.

And I think those values that I saw in him are all still true, even if he is false.

Kindness and decency is still something to live by, even and especially in times of darkness.

Art still has the power to move, connect and transform us, whether you want to keep reading Gaiman's works or not (and if you're finding it tough because you've lost that enjoyment and connection to stories that meant a lot to you, know that there WILL be other works out there that can make you feel it again).

Creative endeavour IS still inherently valuable.

Transgender lives and identities still matter. Transgender people are still deserving of dignity and respect. There may be plenty of transphobic people out there who feel emboldened by this, and I'm not gonna pretend to understand exactly how scary and horrible that must feel. All I can say is that there are other people out there who still believe in you, and still want to support you.

Human decency is not a lie. I guess we need to be wary of public figures who come across as too good to be true and remember that everyone has capacity for both good and bad, but not everyone fails as badly as him. Not everyone succumbs to their worst instincts. Not everyone is an abuser. Human goodness is still alive, and something to strive toward and take comfort in.

[str8rat]

In Stars And Time - Fear and Hunger AU

ALSO WARNING, loss of limbs

remember kids, an unspoken rule of the artists; when they've got no twinkles in their eyes, you know they've had it bad.

WOOO ISA'S THE NEXT CHARACTER I DECIDED TO TRAUMATIZE!!!!! YAY!!!!

Mirabelle will be next <3

~ ~ ~

Isabeau; Ophthalmophobia ( fear of being stared at )

Effects; Lost his right arm

Info;

TW!!! DISMEMBERMENT IG aka backstory to how Isa lost his arm

A retired Defender of Jouvente. He capital-C-Changed his body, hoping to become someone that others wouldn't be ashamed of knowing. Lost his right arm months before the party reached Dormont, protecting Mirabelle from a fatal strike coming from a powerful Sadness.

Despite his loss, his bubbly and highly supportive personality remains, always caring for his companions. And even though he does mourn the fact of him most likely never being able to become a clothing designer with just one arm, he does not regret his decision one bit. He's just a stupid Defender, afterall, and Mirabelle is the Chosen one, the one blessed by the Change God, to defeat the King. She is more important than some puny guy that likes bad jokes.

Gets phantom pains quite often. He desperately tries to be the strong, optimistic member of the party, keeping up their morales and spirits, never wanting to let them down. Always hoping that his laughter will light up the room and help everyone forget about everything, if only for a little bit. He also lost his left earring in one of the battles against Sadnesses. Generally he is the person constantly getting hurt for his party, despite the scolding he gets for it regularely.

Due to his phobia, he dislikes crowds and the public, always feeling like he has eyes at the back of his neck. He hates it, and always tries to avoid eye contact while talking to someone. With the party's help though, he's been making progress! The feeling of eyes looking over his body reminds him of all his imperfections, and it makes him spiral, wondering if he is being stared at due to the flaws in his crafted body. It makes him want to Change into someone else.

And yet, he still silently hopes that maybe, just maybe, in an unspecified time in the future, he could make up for the missing earring, and put a bonding one in it's place, if he'd ever dare to confess to Siffrin. He cannot bring himself to do it though, thinking that maybe, even after everything, he may still not be good enough and worthy of being loved. All in all, he still remains just a coward.

~ ~ ~

Sooo yeah. I in all honesty could not find a better phobia for Isa. I've thought about the phobia of love ( his inability to confess ) or maybe the phobia of failure ( failing his friends ) but in the end I settled on a phobia that has him feeling like he is constantly stared at, so much so that he decided to Change his body. Honestly a terrifying phobia. And a very self-destructive one.

Anyways, that's all! see you tomorrow! we're ruining Mirabelle next <3

[katyspersonal]

So, Ymir was full of shit or rather, lost his marbles! I've made some more SOTE progress!

1) So, first I was exploring the various corners I've missed (again, Val's advice since I was despairing to do anything but 'important' points gvghgb) Went in order!

2) I killed the second big red horned bear in this game! And before that, killed two Rune Bears with some success..? Still got hit hard, but I am finally learning to dodge roll properly! Most of it is rolling in, not away x)

It dropped an incantation that is like those dragon head ones.. but like, bear head one gfhhhg And there was another variant of Brave Set nearby (the clothes of bear-hunters)

3) Coincidentally, the very next guy was using this same incantation! It was sending a series of roars that knock the person off! AND he was in the last Mausoleum that I did want to find very much!

AND he also was a Redmane!! They have so many distinct friends of Radahn in this DLC xD

4) The next one was a forge and I was done with running across them orange woods. This is when I finally realized that the big rocky guys needed to be hit while back turned, in the weak spot on their backs, whereas I've been hitting them in the front this whole time... :^)

5) This guy would later become important:

So, they just freeze eventually? It kind of seems like eventual fate of all rock creatures I guess, since they can't age. There are Ancient Dragons in Farum Azula who are just walls now for one

I instantly had a feeling that this would be a good summon seeing how much damage and defence those guys had, and hoooo boy was I right!!

6) OKAY SO I finally did it! @fareehaandspaniards REJOYCE!!! Basically Metyr and Fingers predate Elden Ring/Beast, because it also was a shooting star and Metyr was the first:

I struggled with this boss as you remember, and wasn't even trying to go without summons but just couldn't find the right ones xd THIS guy though staggered her like two times letting me do critical, and lasted ungodly amount of time (until magic attack blasted him since rocks are wear to magic in this game)! But he was SO helpful?

So it was this guy causing ungodly stagger and me stabbing bleed with Mohg's spear jfghyj I also finally realized to NOT, no matter what, get myself caught on the side of her body 🙄 That attack with rapidly moving fingers from her side is NOT survivable nghgf If anyone here makes the same mistake: don't, just always face her.. face, lol

7) Also my idea confirmed! When I first saw this location, all watery and the giant "tubes" going from here to "above", I saw it like the giant fingers so it is some hammerspace version of womb water! Turned out the grace of this place marks location as Finger Birthing Grounds, so yeah!

8) My instant reflex was to go back to Manus Metyr! ...and I got attacked when I had hands full of runes because I forgot to spend them after the boss 🤡 I didn't die, but NEVER forget to level up lol

Jolan first attacked me as an invader, saying we've hurt Ymir so much that he now wished our death, and then Ymir was there as a boss (thankfully a weak one). ?? I was just sitting here like "wait a second, the whole operation was your idea?" because Ymir gave me the map here?

9) So, I started to think about it and recalling what happened before. His last map was captioned "May you join the glimmering stars above" which was sinister, but so was he so I didn't give it an extra thought back then! Now it does seem like he intended for us to not survive that encounter, like same sacrifice thing as with "meeting" Rykard, but there was more

Back when Anna attacked us, I assumed she was sort of enemy. I did tell Jolan about it, but her dialogue was vague:

I interpreted it as Anna getting on the way and Jolan implying that she will or will not kick her ass depending on what Ymir says. But oh boy, seems like I was wrong.. When you kill Anna, the text 'RECUSANT VANQUISHED' appears; the term reserved for Tarnished that hunt other Tarnished! So, knowing that Anna habitually kills people (her own?), and knowing that I was not supposed to kill Metyr despite being sent directly to her, Jolan's reaction to us telling about Anna can be seen as: 'Damn, I started to really like you, but turns out that Ymir wants to sacrifice you (?) and I can't speak against him so pretend that my ally did not try to kill you, okay? :/' but I wasn't aware just HOW right I was!

10) Turned out that Jolan also had the decision split between Iris of Grace (gives Spirit Ashes) and Iris of Occultation (gives her weapon)! Like it was with Queelign! Damn, they made SURE that people either replay this DLC or talk with other players for full lore x) Respect!

11) ALSO turned out that this whole time, there was a secret way to drop atop of the upper section of Rabbath Rise from Shaman Village, where you find a person in the same set sitting in the same fashion as inactive puppets of Seluvis! And it was ANNA, that we could combine with Ashes of Jolan!

frail and WHAT? AND WHAT gdghhgh The text didn't fit, oh my god!!

I asked Val about it, the missing word was 'and pliant'.

12) I also asked him about the 'doll' part, because by all means it should have been 'puppet'! He confirmed that it IS the same term in original because he was confused too and checked earlier: 'doll' here is 傀儡, and is the same used for Puppets in the main game. So, obviously, they were trying to save the letters space! And still failed... XD

13) So, yes, a totally normal thing for Carians to do! Granted, Nox were the ones who started the Puppet dids, but Carians are basically infamous for making Puppets, which Ymir is!

That makes it apparent that Anna attacked us due to him wanting it :^) I assume we were supposed to be food for Metyr, because since he lost his shit over her death he needed her for something. The power to bring Yuri back to life, I suppose.

This made me wonder whether Jolan herself was a puppet? We don't know whether they can still talk and think from the base game, maybe they can! What we do know is that puppets will attach spiritually attach to the master and unquestionably do their bidding (which Jolan does), that they are crafted through blue star shards thus uniting their fates since blue stars control fates of humans (and Ymir and Jolan do affectionately call each other their stars), and that a puppet can be given to someone else despite who made it (since Seluvis can gift his and we now can use Anna).

Jolan is not referred to as a puppet, so maybe her devotion and dependence bordering insanity happened to be her true feelings and not some magic (yet it wasn't the case for Anna, apparently...).. But interesting thing to consider. (LOL I can SEE Ymir simps jumping at me and asking how the heck Jolan's behavior is supposedly magic and not normal reaction gfggnfhhg)

14) Turned out that Ymir's clothes can be altered into... this:

15) I also checked at the Roundtable Hold, for more Metyr lore:

I already read that Greater Will stopped communicating with her, but interesting information! Besides.. the staff to cast sorceries AND incantations sounds SUPER useful! No more switching between seals and staffs xD

The second weapon is simply Metyr's head that mentions there is an eye at the center of it. Yes, I could tell from getting blasted with lasers hfhhjj

16) Also I don't have pictures space left, but if you collect everything like I do, don't forget to check Yuri's grave for a sorcery after Ymir is defeated!

[satvpsandowns]

I'm rereading Blue Lock after watching Episode Nagi in cinemas and I'm already at the end of Manshine vs Bastard and I keep finding new questions and answers regarding Reo and Nagi's relationship. It's so interesting. I love both of them so much, I never thought I'd get invested again in manga characters and their development.

This is my small rambling, a way to put into words what I've gotten so far.

Nagi was so angry and confused during the second selection while Reo was sad and a bit lost. I felt so bad for Nagi, he was excited while playing with Isagi, they gained Barou and Chigiri, then Isagi left, and he had to face being alone while having broken up with Reo a couple of matches ago.

After the u-20 game, Reo was trying to get back to his original plan and dream and Nagi...we still don't know that much yet, but their relationship was tense.

The Manshine game was a great battle field to showcase the new Reo, to prove his new polished weapons, he made the opening shot, and tried, for the first time, to directly work towards his ideal self: the all rounder, versatile midfielder.

Isagi and Reo's relationship has always been interesting to me. They don't insult each other, they have a certain level of respect, maybe because both are similar (overthinkers, playmakers, "average not-so-average"). But they are rarely in the same wavelength, I mean, Isagi doesn't know that much about Nagi and Reo's relationship, so he misses a couple of layers in Reo's dialogue, he sees Reo independently, so that's why I loved this game, he kept acknowledging Chigiri's and Reo's improvements: the 44 golden zone and metavision, respectively.

MC vs BM proved to the reader that Reo is a strong player, a threat, while still being insecure about his abilities, his style and his talent. In sum, a latent potential of greatness. Reo acknowledges Isagi back as someone who keeps changing and evolving in better versions of himself, he knows he's on his way too but then, Nagi happens.

I found this turn understandable. Nagi was frustrated, he said he wanted to defeat Isagi because it was the freshest problem in his mind, the easiest to articulate. Even Prince "was weirded tf out", even Reo was like "..." I'm not sure what else happened in his head (let's wait for EpiNagi ig ;_;) but he saw how strong his team was, how confident they were playing, how good Reo had gotten.

His request to Reo, the "I need you" was the breaking point. Reo was still in the process of relearning himself. Getting what you formerly wanted so desperately hits different depending on your mental state. And Reo's mental state wasn't at his best yet. The reader tends to, sort of, know whose character has already wrapped up the key points in their development, and I take Isagi and Reo's comments on each other as an affirmation of "work in progress".

So Nagi verbalising his dream, what he wanted, shook Reo's focus. And I don't blame any of them. Reo wanted to be needed by Nagi, his first friend, his partner who made his dream feel achievable, while Nagi wanted to feel the warmth and comfort (and fun) of playing soccer and getting challenged. Both wanted to feel like protagonists, just like Isagi said.

There was a chance and they took it. They succeeded immediately, and just as easy, old and new problems unfolded. Only this time, Reo seems more ready to battle on his own.

Again, Isagi's "teenage drama combo" commentary gives the reader a clue: that comfort and having a soft spot for each other is not really a problem. It's a pillar for development, a tool, but not the only one, as it can be easily read at NEL level.

So after getting back together and tying the game, Isagi recognizes Reo's metavision, but some pages later, he pushes and stops Nagi and tells him he had surpassed him. This time Nagi doesn't seem to mind, for his dream of defeating Isagi was accomplished with his "revolutionary five volley shot" or something like that. This crystallises the new problem: they might be on good terms again but it can only last so much, it may last even less. And as a reader and someone who likes both characters so much for what they, individually, entail thematically, I'm anxious and excited.

In a few words, Reo has a soft spot for Nagi, and Reo is like a compass to Nagi. That's a given. Both respect, recognize and value each other to a degree that's just SO DAMN SWEET. 

[nian-7]

"MY LIFE IS A GAMBLE!"

Dice Arisugawa x kitsune!reader

✧fluff, dice is gambling his soul away. what else is new?, not modern era

" Hmm... " Dice sat opposite to you, staring at the board in front of you both and analyzing his possible moves that will give him an advantage over you, a kitsune, who's been playing this same game for years... How does he outsmart a kitsune at it's own game? He suddenly let out a dramatic groan, flopping back onto the floor as you laughed at this display.

" Giving up already, Dice? " You teased, " That looks awfully like a position of utter defeat to me~ " You leaned your face against your hand as you rested against the table, looking at him with a sly smile. Suddenly shooting up, he pointed at you, his finger nearly touching your nose as your sly expression turned to one of confusion and shock.

" You've gotta be cheatin'! " He accused before putting his head down on the table, shaking up the game you both were playing, effectively messing it up.

" Me? Cheating? " You watched him lift his head up to look at you and you gave him a mock offended expression. " I would never do such a thing! Why would you even think I did something like that? "

" Cause you're a trickster! I know you were cheatin'- Rematch, right now! " He slammed his fist on the table, eyes filled with vigor as if ready to win the next match and apparently forgetting every past loss. Not that he's ever won a match against you.

" Ah ah ah.. I won that match so you've got to hand over your losses, " You held out your hand, awaiting your reward for yet another win. He shuffled around in his pockets for a moment before looking back up at you.

" Can I... pay ya back later? I kinda forgot it back home... " He looked down, as if ashamed. You sighed, waving your hand as if to discard his excuse.

" Alright, alright... Then what will you bet this time around? " You leaned forward, waiting for his answer as you began to reset the game again.

" How about... " He thought for a moment, his hand holding his chin in deep thought. Or as deep of a thought Dice could manage. " I've got it! How about my soul? Will that do the trick? " You raised your eyebrows at this sudden proposition, wondering if he was being serious.

" You do know what will happen if you lose, correct? Seeing as you have never won a game against me, " You finished setting up the game for another round. Bummer, you really liked this human. Your fox tails swished behind you as you watched him think again.

" I'm feeling lucky this time! " He gave a confident thumbs up as you sighed your head hanging in utter disappointment. This human really was stupid no matter how much you liked him.

" Fine then, " You sighed, situating yourself up again to start the game. " I will give you half of the money you've lost to me if you win. Sound good? " He confirmed with a sure nod.

As the game progressed, you slowly made your moves as if to make sure you were going to win but something just didn't feel right about it... Wasn't eating humans souls your whole thing?? Ah. That was your last move wasn't it? Unless he was idiotic enough to miss the obvious win you just gave him. Unintentionally, of course... You look up as Dice let out a victory cheer as you stare, almost stunned at the board. Did you really just let this human beat you at the game you've been playing for far longer than he's even been alive?

" C'mon!! Gimme my prize, (name)! " He held out his hands, awaiting the money you promised with sparkles in his eyes. You reached down to pull out a bag of money from seemingly thin air and you placed the hefty bag into his outstretched hands.

" I guess you win this one, Dice, " You yawn, " Although... It's still 285 to 1. You've got a long ways to go. " You were uncertain if he actually heard you over his celebrating though. One thing you were certain about was that the money he had just won? It was going to be gone by morning.

please do not repost any of my work without my permission, thank you for reading.

[deusexlachina]

This game took fifteen hours to play and upset me! (good)

In Stars and Time probably wins for most upsetting video game I've played. It makes other games about depression feel like the fun roller coaster version of depression in comparison. Even Start Again, the game it's an extension of, looks extremely tame in comparison.

There's a number of things I've seen that are Trapped In A Time Loop. I don't think I've seen one this dark since Russian Doll. ISAT isn't as gritty as that, but it's as least as dark. It really puts the "trapped" in Trapped In A Time Loop, while still being fun. For me, not for the protagonist, Siffrin. He is not having fun.

One of the things that makes it work so well is that the characters (and to a lesser extent, the settings) are really lovingly made. I like Siffrin's party. If they were in a straight fantasy story, they'd work. That's what's missing most in a lot of Edgy Depression Games and cartoons - the sadness is real, but the joy is not. So it feels more hollow than sad. A good example is with magical girl shows: Madoka is a guilty pleasure and all the ripoffs are just execrable - you can feel them wanting to go straight to the torture, so they make characters just to be tortured, ensuring that not even the writer is invested in the cast.

ISAT, in contrast, showed me a cute, engaging adventure with terrific characters, and then forced me to watch as it all got stale and stagnant and twisted. With plenty of new parts scattered around, reminding you of what it's like to be curious and excited. At a certain point, I was skipping through dialogue less because I'd memorized it and more because it was painful to go through these tender scenes again, knowing they lost their impact on Siffrin long ago.

There's a few mechanics that didn't work for me. Having to fight monsters to loop forwards in time didn't feel necessary. Looping around is already monotonous; this mechanic doesn't add anything. As the game progresses, you end up looping forwards quite a bit, long after combat has ceased to be a challenge. Not being able to completely skip seen conversations - instead having to fast-forward through them - is also tedious but feels much more necessary to the story being told. The little animation you get of Siffrin nodding blankly as they metaphorically and literally mash through a conversation remained funny for me even to the end. Be sure to have dialogue speed set to instant and running set to always (why indie RPGs ever have a "walking" setting continues to confuse me).

Anyway, if you're looking for a game with great characters that's very sad without relying on a shitty ending, this is definitely worth checking out. Really not kidding about the heavy stuff, though. Caveat emptor, fuckers.

[natasha-in-space]

Hello Mia, if this is not too much to ask, I would like to request something from you... Maybe a comfort fic from GE Saeran? I've been chasing the deadlines for my countless assignments and presentations all month to the point of overworking myself to the ground. I know I can be such an overachiever but I also know that I really have to work on this tendency of not knowing when to stop and rest.

I actually collapsed two weeks ago since I had to do presentation everyday so... I suppose my body kinda give in to the extreme fatigue. It was partly my fault for trying to stay up all night and not taking care of myself properly for the past days :')) Although, I was a bit upset and anxious since I lost 10% of my overall grade because I had to skip the last presentation of that week (the same day I collapsed and sleep the whole day to recover).

I suppose Saeran would understand and relate completely to my situation. Or maybe even scold me gently for doing that to myself when we both know that I wouldn't allow him (or Ray) to do that. Anyways, I hope you take your time and been doing well so far! Much love ❤️

"My love... I thought we agreed that you would take it easy today."

Saeran's voice is gentle and sweet, like honey, even as he lets out a small disapproving sigh at the sight of you hunched over your desk, your eyes glued onto your monitor screen. Closing the door behind him, he places a tray of freshly prepared mid-afternoon snacks at your bedside table. The room is quickly filled with the enticing aroma of still warm baked pastries and peach tea.

The rumbling coming from your stomach quickly reminds you that you haven't eaten a thing since early morning.

You feel like a child that just got caught in the act of stealing from the cookie jar. Of course you knew that you should be resting... The fact that you collapsed from exhaustion the day earlier was more than enough proof of your desperate need to let your body relax and recover. Yet, while your body was utterly worn out, your mind was far too restless for you to remain still in your bed like you were supposed to. It was far too eager to push you to make sure that you were perfect. That you didn't miss out on any progress in your wasted time of sleep. Even though, rationally, you understood that sleep was anything but wasteful.

You feel a warm hand resting itself on top of your head, starting to gently caress your hair in a way that is so relaxing, you almost want to close your eyes and fall asleep right then and there. Saeran's touch was always too soothing for your own good. It was far too easy to just forget about everything in the world and melt into his warmth. You tried to hold back on that, though, shaking your head and rubbing your tired eyes with a somewhat sleepy groan.

Wouldn't want to pass out again.

"I know, I know... I'm taking it easy, I promise. I just got to read through this part one more time to make sure it's perfect. I already lost so much time yesterday, and-"

"Y/N."

Saeran's voice becomes more determined, growing firmer, like a loving parent disciplining their child for playing outside in the cold for too long. He doesn't even need to say anything more for you to lower your head and sigh in defeat. You knew he was right, after all. What you were doing wasn't good for you. Of course, he was worried. If your roles were reversed, you would have done the same for him. In fact, that exact scenario happened more than you could count.

"...I'm being stupid, aren't I?"

Saeran hums softly, his hands now gently resting on your shoulders as he slowly and carefully starts to massage your aching muscles, easing the tension out of your tired body. His hands are so comforting that you can't help but sigh in content, leaning back into his touch. He leans down to murmur into your ear, his voice as soft as ever: "You are not being stupid, flower. You know how much I admire your hard work and dedication. There is nothing stupid about you putting your all into something. It makes me love you even more."

Gosh, does he have to praise you even now...? You almost feel like crying.

You are wondering if he will ever become truly angry or frustrated with you. Your hands are rubbing together as you gaze drifts between your work and your shaky fingers. You knew this shakiness was probably yet another proof of your body needing rest instead of even more work you were forcing yourself to go through. You tilt your head slightly in Saeran's direction, feeling his hair tickle your cheek. He smelled sweetly of peach, probably a result of him brewing that tea for you. "But...?"

"-But you also need to rest and take care if yourself for you to truly give it your all. I love seeing your eyes light up with joy when you get the results you wished for... And I love that determined and focused look on your face when you are working on something you want to do good at. I love hearing you talk to me about everything you are working on. I love seeing you enjoy yourself." He leans in to kiss your nose, which inadvertently makes you smile and giggle, even through your fatigue. He returns your smile with one of his own, before he continues, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. "But I don't love seeing you tired, anxious and upset. I was so worried for you... I wouldn't want anything like that to happen to you ever again."

Ah... He was worried, wasn't he?

You purse your lips together, feeling a small dull ache in your chest, making you quickly raise a hand to his cheek. With a slight shaky sigh, he immediately leans into your touch. He was so patient and caring with you throughout this whole ordeal... You didn’t even think that it must have scared or stressed him out to see you collapse like that. In a way, it looks like you both kept some things bottled up. It's almost funny, in a way.

But, mostly ironic.

"I'm sorry I worried you, Saeran... I should've been more careful. It must have been scary for you to see me like that..."

Saeran chuckles slightly and shakes his head. He seems both amused and touched by your apology, his eyes twinkling as he looks down at you. "This isn't about me, love. But, I'll take your words to heart. Thank you."

He takes hold of your hand that was resting on his cheek, nuzzling it, and placing a few light kisses down the side of your wrist. A display of affection that causes your heart to flutter with fondness for him.

He was far too sweet sometimes...

"I know what it's like to want to be perfect... How heavy it can feel to carry the weight of all these expectations on your shoulders. But, you're the one who taught me that I don't need to be perfect to be loved and worthy, my love. You taught me, that I am deserving of love simply for being born into this world. Nothing more. You freed me from those shackles of self-doubt I put myself in because of what I've been told my whole life. And I want to do the same for you. Whenever you feel like it's all too much, whenever it feels like you are about to be crushed under all the pressure and expectations that were put on you... Take a small moment to look up at the sky, and think of me. Think of how I'll love you in any form you take. Remember that I am always cheering for you, however far away from you I am. And that my heart is always there with you, wanting to envelop you in my tender love and care. So, treat yourself kindly. Like I would treat you."

[mysticaldetectivesoul]

Sotheby's Anecdote - keyboard smashing and personal comments under the cut (also obligatory spoilers under the cut)

Dundihbojdnijdnudhdjnndojsjsjsn )3₱)2);2#)₱;)₱₱7;₱);₱9)₱8₱)₱8);

whew. Oh hell–

urndnndndnunndiudndidn nnduhnduidnnid bdhnndydnhudbjd jdb#(/₱(;₱(/₱(₱/)₱/

ok, that's done.

I will probably edit this to add more once it fully simmers, but holy shit, lemme come on here to say that I am so glad they didn't fumble cristallo's illness. That's really what's on the top of my mind right now.

As fun and light-hearted as the first chapters were, my stomach dropped when it became clear that they were going for "creating a magic potion that will whoosh away a progressive, congenital illness in an instant". BUT. I am so glad that after everything was done and dusted, the last chapter explicitly said that the potion Sotheby made won't cure her for good but that it will offer some comfort instead.

As far physical disabilities go, I am NOT the best authority or spokesperson, so my voice shouldn't count so much. This is just my thought void. My sentiments mostly relate back to some gachas I've previously played, where the story took the lazy route of magicking the sickness away from the character in a one snap, instead of taking the time to explore their lives as disabled people. It feels disingenuous when that happens, and it's often so detached from reality because many disabilities are permanent. In that one aspect, at least, the anecdote jumped over that trap.

2- I'm not gonna lie, Sotheby's naivety made me shake my head so many times throughout the the story. But I love her character from the get-go and figured that I at least wanted to get to know more, so I kept playing, and whoaly fuck, there was a moment that made me gasp - when she started burning things down and oh... that made me laugh silly because of how unexpected that was HAHAHAHA. My mind is still confused about some things about her past. It was written so vaguely. The dream sequence and the memories she forgot or were kept in the dark from? Is it a consequence of the "storm", the survivor's hazy memory of what's passed, or something else... because it seemed implied that she went through an accident the others at the manor didn't tell her. I wonder if I missed details. Hmm.

3- Cristallo!!! She shines here. As well as Eagle, the twins. We love plant children in this household!

4- "Loneliness" is central to Sotheby's character, and I love the points of perspective between her and Cristallo, who are two, equally sheltered kids, who were othered despite/because of good intentions. I really want a Cristallo anecdote now hngg. Apart from being sheltered, the loneliness of Sotheby also comes out in her loss and longing for Mr. Karson. I found it interesting that they chose to explore loneliness with a character like Sotheby, but it surprisingly made sense.

5- That flashback convo with Mr. Karson about death is so damn ironic knowing what happened. They just had to twist a few knives in me, oh, what's new?

6- Sotheby curiously has a lot of ties to mythological gods and deities like the brand of her shoes and jewelries. There's Typhon her doll, which seems to come from a show, and his enemy Jupiter. There's also a mention of Heimdall this time, which was vaguely familiar to me, enough that I knew it wasn't greek/roman myth like the aforementioned gods. It wasn't lost on me how Sotheby went through a specific brand hero's journey, where she slowly shed her naivety through experiencing the outside world and its horror. It has some elements that's faintly reminiscent of some mythos, but I need to rack my brains harder for which exact story it echoed in me. Hmm.

7- I'm very satisfied with the story. Even the small things like the rules on etiquette and the background world building of the sussy town with a history of killing and kidnapping rich aristocrats for ransom, comes back full circle to contrast and add to sotheby's growth. Reverse has some tight storytelling sometimes... They're good at breathing life into the characters, beyond the bit of selling these charas to us players. I really feel refreshed by it.

[urmomsmattress]

84

A dissection of songs on my Marauders era playlist - Number 84 - When We Were Young by Adele

-

Everybody loves the things you do

From the way you talk to way you move

Everybody here is watching you

-

i’m thinking this part is from remus’s pov after sirius escaped azkaban, specifically at the first order meeting. be fr everybody’s looking at sirius, either bc he’s just That pretty or because nobody can believe he’s here, and that he’s innocent.

not to mention the fact that this is the way things would’ve been in school, too. the black’s are a renowned family and sirius is their traitorous infamous son, of course he has all eyes on him

-

… you feel like home

You’re a dream come true

-

self explanatory wolfstar: remus loves sirius. he yearns for him. he missed him. sirius feels like home to remus

-

But if by chance you're here alone

Can I have a moment before I go?

'Cause I've been by myself all night long

Hoping you're someone I used to know

-

imagine having the relationship they did and it all gets ripped away in the span of one night. and now they’re in the same boat (the war) they were last time?

remus doesn’t know when if he’s gonna lose sirius again and he’s gotta grab whatever they have left before it’s gone. he doesn’t know if this sirius is the same one that he used to have, or if their love is the same, but he’s gotta find out before sirius is gone again

-

You look like a movie

You sound like a song

My God this reminds me of when we were young

-

self explanatory. c’mon remus is seeing the love of his life for the first time in 12+ years, and they’re in quite literally the same situation they were in when they lost each other. why wouldn’t they be thinking of times when it was easier

-

Let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time

That we might be exactly like we were before we realized

-

this one is a bit more complicated so stick with me.

i’m thinking obviously they want to remember this moment, whether the moment be a random order meeting or the first time they see each other again in the shack. they know things will get bad again, so right here, right now, time just stops.

sirius isn’t this renowned criminal who’s the first person to ever escape azkaban, and remus isn’t the monster he thinks he is or the shell of the man he used to be.

right now, they’re just moony and padfoot, they’re each others everything.

-

We were scared of getting old it made us restless

It was just like a movie

It was just like a song

-

the way i see this, it’s all of them immediately jumping into the war. i know it was a noble act of bravery and courage blah blah blah THEY WERE KIDS!!! i mean look at james and lily; i know they were scared and wanted to get married before they couldn’t or whatever it was but they were kids!! all of them were literally just kids, rushing into this thing that was SO much bigger than them.

i know this wasn’t the only reason for joining the order, but i think part of sirius was trying to prove a point, to push the agenda that he is not his family name, that he was good. please tell me this makes sense

-

I was so scared to face my fears

Nobody told me that you'd be here

And I'd swear you moved overseas

That's what you said, when you left me

-

would it be bad of me to make an azkaban joke regarding the overseas part🧍‍♂️

either way, remus knew the second that the order was coming back that sirius would join. the war never ended for him, he hasn’t had peace so why start now? remus on the other hand, probably wasn’t as eager to jump back in, especially knowing he had to face sirius after all this time

-

You still look like a movie

You still sound like a song

-

i’m a huge music fan these lines give me chills because you can picture the events progressing throughout the song. it went from “you look like a movie” to “it was just like a movie” to “you still look like a movie.” it goes from the person, then the event, then even after all that time, they STILL look like a movie.

the passing of events hasn’t changed things. the passing of time hasn’t changed things. sirius is still everything to remus. remus is still everything to sirius.

-

It's hard to win me back

Everything just takes me back

To when you were there

-

sirius has been through hell honestly. i know remus had a hard time on his own all those years with nobody (my heart yearns for grant chapman) but the way it was laid out for remus, sirius was the traitor and he has to live with that.

but for sirius, his moony hates him, he blames himself, he was wrongly imprisoned and he hopes to everything that someday he’ll be able to explain, that someday he’ll make it back to his friends, his family, a sliver of the life he had

most would think sirius is a lost cause, he’s barely the person he was. but remus won’t give up. he can’t. he refuses to lose his sirius again. he’ll get him back.

every time they look at each other they see what they used to be, what they’re capable of being, and they know it was worth it. it will be worth it

-

And a part of me keeps holding on just in case it hasn't gone

I guess I still care

Do you still care?

-

that’s the question isn’t it

-

I’m so mad I’m getting old

It makes me reckless

-

and then it ends

—

send me a number between 1-273 for a song in my playlist!

[sparkanonymous]

Dragons Rising: Season 2

I'm a little bit more nervous to watch season 2; I like watching things that make me feel happy, and from the brief spoilers I've gotten about this season, this is probably gonna be more sad than anything... But I'll try.

I will be continuing to work on the two pieces I was working on before, so check the bottom of this post if you want to see my progress! (This goes for my season 1 notes post, too, by the way.)

⚠️ Spoilers for episodes 1-5!

Divider by cafekitsune

Episode 1: The Blood Moon

New Jordana look, huh? I don't really like it right now, but I can grow to get used to it.

So are the lines on her face just... permanent?

Good to know Raz has night vision.

Jordana is clearly scared about all of this... I wonder how long it will take for her to switch sides.

The bad guys always seem too distracted, intentionally taking their time to get to their targets. I kinda understand why it was that way for the little phone video in the beginning of the episode, since it's such a cramped space to work with and the movements might cause motion sickness. But with every other fight? No.

Wow, Ryu grew up quite fast.

Fugidove? In 2024?

Holy fuck, the news reporter remembered Pixal? Most of the ninja didn't even remember her. Actually, practically nobody in Ninjago city. He's either a super fan, or the writers completely forgot that fact for this season.

Is Intelligent George a parody on someone? I can't tell.

Did Sora really have to spell that out? Did they just... not think that that people watching the second season had already watched the first? I feel like spelling it out like that will make people not want to go back and rewatch the first season to see what they missed.

Also, with how much bigger Ryu is, I would've thought more time had passed. The way Sora had said that line makes it sound like she just unlocked her true potential instead of it being like... a few months ago or something.

Okay, so now we're on the "Arin really wants elemental powers" thing. He seemed mostly fine with that last season. What changed?

Arin, if you're looking for someone to be talking about those still lost in the merge, why the hell would you watch a Youtuber who only wants to talk about the ninja to sell merch? There are plenty of people that you could talk to; the people you're currently around would be far better to talk to about this. I know that they don't have the solution right now, but they are far more likely to come up with one before a fucking Youtuber.

Sora and Arin are such good friends. Even if their interests are completely different, they still partake in the other's activities, especially when the other is looking blue.

Poor Frohicky, lol

Zane would have already heard and figured out these figures of speech back in like... season 1 or 2. But he's still cute. I like that Kai and Zane are playing the video game together.

The layout of this game makes me think of the TMNT arcade game. Nice touch.

Hm... so Lloyd's getting more visions... or he's having a nightmare... or both?

So... Zane and Sora are gonna get taken down. Is Arin going to rebel, betray them? Beatrix is clearly coming back, which I figured would happen after she disappeared into that merge-quake at the end of last season.

Wu watching over his nephew is nice, but... where's Garmadon? Sure, Wu is probably more iconic and a better teacher, but Garmadon is Lloyd's father. I want to see him again... would he have the same golden glow that Wu's ghost does, or would he have a purple glow or be a purple void?

Also, where's Nya? I don't think I've seen her at all this episode.

Why is Arin's voice so soft now? It's like he's constantly whispering into the mic?

Kreel not even denying that she tried to make their mech explode back in episode 1 lol

Wait is the junkyard ghost Wu?

Wow, that was a small investigation montage.

I like Ryu's teenage model over the baby one, but he reminds me a little too much of Toothless.

That old lady shaming those throwing away a good dragon... but not taking the dragon? Oh, come on; she would've totally tried to take Ryu back home with her. It's an old lady thing.

Oh my god, Arin stop self-pitying; this is not the time.

Arin, they will be proud of you; you're a ninja.

Lloyd's gonna have a heart attack.

Woah, the camera during this fight is really wobbly. It actually feels like Arin, Sora, and Ryu are in danger.

The actual panic in Lloyd's voice.

Give me the smoke guy's name. I need it. He's really cool.

Episode 2: Shattered Dreams

Wait, the writers of destiny are still a thing? I would've thought that they would have disbanded after it was proven that writing the future didn't actually mean anything.

Their idea of fun is bagels? Yeah, I can see it.

Wait, so their entire religion isn't completely founded on made up bullshit?

Lloyd, why would you drink that?

Sora, you sound like Raven Queen.

Arin, that's robot-ist. In front of Zane? Really?

Y'all are in broad daylight. So much for being ninja.

Everybody judging Sora's graffiti, including Zane lmao

Hitting Zane in the head with a non-magic teapot lmfao

The Gong of Shattering is such a terrible name.

Poor Arin, lol

Oh, no. This is Arin's undoing. He's gonna hit the gong in order to try and get an elemental power, he'll turn evil, and then fight beside Raz. I'm calling it now!

I really enjoy Percival's character now. He's learning, he's helping out, and he seems to be kinder than when he was under Beatrix's rule. I think the rebellion was good for him.

The Master Writer was so scared, he didn't even try to run. Wow. Anyone will let the bad guys overthrow them, huh.

Euphrasia should seriously train with the other ninja; she's far too weak to be looking after a kingdom alone. (Yes, I know that they're making all the ninja really bad at fighting to make it look like the smoke ninja is way stronger than them, but still.)

It's not called the Blood Moon for anything good. Is it ever?

You're supposed to be sneaky; that glowing green spinjitzu is not sneaky in any way.

Why did Euphrasia have to say that? She could have looked relieved instead of saying that terribly said "Thank goodness your okay!"

Zane, that doesn't answer shit. A written language can't look evil. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

Should Euphrasia even be here to save the Master Writer? She's using a crutch. Actually, does literally everybody have to be here for this? Bigger groups are hard to be stealthy with, and most of them aren't really being useful. They should've picked three to go in while everyone else stays behind as back up.

So Raz was the reason the worms turned evil last season. Hm...

I'm still not over it. Why is Ryu here? It should've been Lloyd, Arin, and Zane; Lloyd because he needs to confirm his visions, Arin because he's really foreshadowing something, and Zane to confirm the stupid language thing. Euphrasia would've been a good choice to bring if she wasn't using a crutch. Everyone else is just... here for no fucking reason except to just listen to the Master Writer. They're not really hiding, so any of the wolf-masked characters could easily find them. They didn't bother animating anyone except Lloyd and Arin going up the wall; they all just kinda teleported. This is bothering me so bad. (Not everyone has to be here to listen. The three that would've gone could've spread the information off screen so it didn't become too repetitive.)

See, I fucking told you. Now Lloyd's having another panic attack.

Why did the gong only affect the wolf-masks? Is the detail I missed that they have to be wearing the wolf mask to be affected by the gong? That seems dumb.

Lmao Kai

Woah, Zane glitching.

Episode 3: Beyond the Phantasm Cave

Wait, where did Kai's mech come from?

Of course when Lloyd asks for an answer, the source dragons come.

Wow, that source dragon from season 1 is so convincing, he convinced the other source dragons within seconds.

Why wouldn't Sora believe Lloyd after all of this?

Aw, Kai checking on Wyldfyre.

Nya, you trained under Wu for how long? You would know that, yes. He would bring you guys somewhere based on half-understood dreams.

Why is Zane always the one to keep an eye on the ship? Ugh.

"Now it sounds like the rotor sneezed!" Lmao Lloyd

It's sweet that Sora and Arin are talking to each other about fond memories, but... why? This came out of nowhere, and they just arrived at their destination. The writing here feels a little clunky.

Aw, now they all have grappling hooks.

Wow it sure took those snake things a while to come out to try and kill them.

Uh oh, Kai's powers not working very well...

Is this like the future telling ice thing in the original series?

Sora that is quite clearly static. How the hell did you think that was Kai?

Oh man, it's all their worst fears...

Oh, shit... The Jaya thing I've seen fanart for.

Poor fucking Nya... this is foreshadowing.

They have airjitzu. They could take the jump a lot more carefully.

Episode 4: Force From The East

Ooh, finally! Back to Cole.

God, Geo and Cole are so fruity.

That was a mouthful of exposition. They could've had a mini flashback of that moment from last season when Cole left and followed Wu. Sure, Geo didn't see that, but this show has never shied away from showing other character's perspectives during flashback sequences told by another character.

Geo being worried about Cole.

They're such an artistic family.

Bonzle is gonna make Geo panic.

Kai and Nya working together is sweet.

Me, too, Arin. Me, too.

The dragon speaking English instead of using telepathy or whatever.

"Should we... ask them what they want?" "Sure. What do you want?" *Gets obliterated* Lmao

Geo's so silly.

Finally; Cole comes to the rescue!

Bonzle's hiding something... I'm not sure what just yet. But she knew that they could leave when they previously couldn't.

Why does Zane have a Frohicky plushie? I'm so confused.

Why isn't Cole surprised to see Zane?

"- why do you have a frog-man-doll?" "It is a long and barely comprehensible story." I love them.

So that's why I thought the Glacier reunion was so... weird and terrible. They're in the middle of a chase scene.

I like how Zane tries to decipher what the problem is by examining his face... I'm so normal about this pairing, I swear.

I like how this episode is split into the stuff that Lloyd and crew were doing and Cole and family were doing, but I focus on just the Cole and family stuff. Mostly just Cole and Geo. They're family is really sweet and care about one another so deeply. Fritz and Spitz need more to do, though; they're kinda just... kids in the middle of everything, but they seem to be as strong and fast as the rest of their family, so... idk

Episode 5: The Spell at the Waterfall

Ah, the Zane and Frohicky side of the plot.

I understand what Frohicky is trying to accomplish, but Zane has already gone to him if he has a problem with the things he's doing. That's just the kind of guy Zane is. This tactic might have worked better with Kai or Lloyd.

Zane whacking the bad guy with the stupid fucking doll lmao

Why wouldn't Bonzle have told them earlier? Lmao what a mouthful.

Oh, so that kinda makes sense... kinda. For Bonzle to know when the could leave. But she would've sensed that opening a long time ago, and probably would have looked more worried throughout the beginning of last episode.

See? The entire Cole and Geo family is artistic.

Bonzle met Master Wu?!

Kai and Nya are so epic.

So, wait. i thought Wu would have taken her to meet the ninja, but I guess not?

Aw, Cole and Geo getting emotional about Bonzle's story.

"This reminds of the old days. Count me in." "That's what I'm talking about." Ugh... I love them too much...

So is one of the source dragons helping Raz? Or am I going crazy?

Of course, there are some critics I have. But I'm liking this so far, even with how often Lloyd was getting panicked and the amount of foreshadowing to future episodes I was getting. Still a little nervous about what's coming, though...

Current Progress:

[pocket-gems]

Question, how are you so good at art? I mean, it’s all subjective really but your specific art and colour combinations really tickle that itch in my autistic brain.

I've been drawing since I have memory. One of my earliest memory was at maybe 5, drawing Spyro. I started drawing gems at 15 maybe? A lot of the gemsonas from that era are lost to time, but I do remember they were requests (wow, me doing free art? Unheard of!).

Started taking art more seriously when I started this blog, at 2019. I have no job and by the time I was dealing with some serious depresssion shit so when I was sad I took drawing as a therapy. I drew a lot. So I still draw a lot since it's what I'm used to do or else it feels weird haha. I can guarantee your skills will improve on a speed demon level if you have no job and aren't the type of person that likes going outside.

Now more seriously, between 2019 and 2024 a lot of time happens. Art takes a while and one can get mentally burn, so while my hands rest, I can take my time to improve and get stronger. Mindlessly drawing can make lineart and coloring faster but designing can get weirder in the sense of not knowing what to do and just overcomplicating things. Here's my favourite example, good 'ol Blizzard! And I'm still not happy with the damn thing! Art can be personal, art can be a challenge, art can be fun, depends on how you take it. All you have to do is not to give up.

Art feels like a beast to dominate, you need to understand it to break it (I say this as a self-taught artist). No one, and I repeat, NO ONE, starts drawing good. If you don't draw good at the first time, don't give up. You don't like it? Too bad! Art is subjective and just because you don't like it, it doesn't mean someone else won't either. You don't like it because you saw the full progress, of course it doesn't surprise you. But it can surprise someone else!

This drawing right here is the FIRST digital drawing I made (I already drew a lot of paper, I'm sure you can tell haha). I used no layers because I had no idea they existed. Same gang ages later. And they still need to be updated!

Art is constant practice. A commission? Oops, it's actually practice regardless of how serious it is because in the future you will get better, you just have to not give up.

About the whole colouring part, I usually don't overthink it much. If it fits, it sits. BUT I do put it to a test. Does it have a lot of neon colours? Does it look cool? Then I have a problem because if I put that to greyscale and I can't see any difference because it all becomes a grey mass that's an issue. That and limiting the palette, depending on the character's complexity.

Per example when I draw on my art-style (hiii new followers who don't know my art style), I have to play with greyscales a lot to make sure all details can be seen.

I'm sure you get the point by now. I really want to do a video someday reacting to my pile of sketchbooks full of old drawings and do more lessons and all that stuff haha. It's not just about "drawing a lot since old age", that's boogus. It's more about "drawing a lot, having patience, learning from mistakes, research about art and keep drawing".

I'm sure I missed a bunch of things to say, hope that helps anyway! ^^

[elementaskylos345]

Urik's Journal

A series of stone tablets that carry the weary words of one man isolated at the top of the Watcher's Spire, struggling to survive and struggling to keep his mind.

This is written specifically with a humanized au in mind, so don't freak out when things have bones

!!Trigger Warnings in tags!!

Higher beings these words are for you alone.

Not really, but it feels like only higher beings can survive this madness. For those that find this journal collection in the future I am Urik, assistant to Lurien the Watcher. So much has happened over the last few months and everything is so overwhelming right now. So. I've decided to begin journaling to gather my thoughts and keep myself sane.

So, day 1, I suppose. I'm trying to keep quiet so the husks outside don't claw at the door. Thankfully the stone of these tablets is soft enough to chisel and not make too much noise. I don't think I'm in any real danger but I hate that noise. Knowing they were once my friends and coworkers makes their shambling and mumbling and feral clawing utterly unbearable. I can't stand that I know it's them out there.

Despite everything the king has done, sacrificing so many, the infection remains. it was all in vain. I can only hope that this infection is not happening in other kingdoms.

•••

Day 2

With the telescope in this room I can watch the ground even from this great height… I hate it. I wish I could put an end to this. So many people die every day. I can't see fine details but I can see enough. I don't know if I can say I'm lucky, trapped at the peak of the tallest building in the city but at least I'm safe. I don't think I'll be watching the ground below.

On a vaguely related note I'm beginning to run low on food. Though this may only be the second day of the journal I have been stuck in Lurien's room for what I think is a few months now. I'm down to just a few bags of the rations that were handed out. Thankfully it's pretty nonperishable so I can stretch it out over a week or two I think but I need to figure something out quickly. Getting food last time nearly got me killed. I'm no fighter, I'm just a man.

•••

Day 4

I've skipped day 3 as nothing interesting occurred but I eat fresh meat today. I managed to lure a vengefly inside using some of the dried mushroom and managed to cage it. I still need to actually kill and prepare it but I still managed to catch something! Vengeflies don't fly this high up enough to make this method consistent but this is still progress.

I will need to venture outside of this room and possibly outside of the tower. If I keep my distance I might be able to get by without conflict but I don't count on it. The husks outside still seem to have some function of the mind left. They speak things on rare occasions, calling on Master Lurien or even myself.

•••

Day 5

By the king I miss seasoning. But I live another day and feel better than I have in weeks. Maybe it's in my bead but the fresh food feels good. However, I still need a consistent source of food. If I can get down to the bridge or just above I could set up a few traps there. I'd need to make traps and get past the guards but it seems a decent enough plan. I'll think of some back-up ideas but that one feels very plausible.

•••

Day 8

The plan did not work. I made a few traps that worked somewhat consistently in tests and caught one vengefly but when I made my journey down to the bridge I was attacked by one of Elite Guards. I lost the traps and now have a nasty gash across my back. I think I can treat this and prevent infection but this is bad. I'm sat against Lurien's resting podium. He cannot help me but his presence is comforting…

I dread what might happen in the coming days.

•••

Day 10

I am in a great deal of pain.

Day 11

I stepped out onto the balcony today. I intended to wash the wound on my back but I stood outside for a good while feeling the rain fall on me. I wept. My situation is bleak. I am alone, I have dwindling supplies, there is nothing but death, and there is no end in sight. I feel the infection swimming in the back of my mind, tempting me closer. I hate this. I hate it all. So much death and so much pain all from one angry and spiteful god. I can't help but ask why. Why us? What crime did we commit to warrant this violent reaction?

I think I'm going to sleep for a while. I'm so tired. I know it's risky to dream but I'm not sure what I live for at the moment.

•••

I've lost track of the days. The timer system in the tower broke down and I've not the skill to repair it. It has been at least 3. I am out of food. I've tried to trap a vengefly but with no luck. I'm not exactly sure what to do. I'm scared to leave the room. I'd pray to the Pale King but he won't answer. He can't help me. He's already failed his kingdom. What could he do to help me?

•••

I need to do something. The rainwater is plenty abundant and rich in minerals but it simply isn't enough. I could sneak into one of the floors below. I need to. I will bring one of the candle holders as a weapon. If I perish… oh well I suppose

A few hours later. I was unsuccessful but I did fend off a Lance Sentry and steal her weapon. It's not food but I guess I'm better prepared for a dangerous encounter? I'll try again soon. Maybe. I'm exhausted mentally so I might go hungry another day.

•••

I'm going out again. It is the next day I'm pretty sure. I'm going to get something.

I found some dried mushrooms near the Watcher Knights. It's not much but I'll take it. I'm beginning to regret hiding up in the tower and not attempting to flee while there were enough people between me and the husks to attempt to break past the walls. But I couldn't abandon Lurien. He may not need me now but I feel I have a moral obligation to remain at his side. I still need to hunt for food since I ate all I found. Hopefully I can lure in a vengefly or something.

••▪︎

Ask and you shall receive. Captured and cooked a vengefly. I feel energized so I might go down to try and retrieve the traps I dropped. In hindsight trying to set the traps up so far away was a poor decision. They might catch something but they're pointless if I can't reach them. It may not be the best source of food but I might set the traps up either by the telescope or balcony. I'll try the balcony. Hopefully the infection has made them less intelligent and they won't avoid this area after some time.

I have returned. One of them was destroyed and one was damaged. That leaves me one functioning trap. I think I can repair the trap but I'll do it later, I need to set the first one up

•••

Same day, different journal. Retrieved my broken traps and set up the one working trap. I have to admit writing and planning my survival has kept my mind busy. The infection whispers to me but I can mostly ignore it. The voice does grow louder and the light in my dreams brighter but I don't feel myself getting lost just yet. It's certainly inevitable that the infection will claim me but for now I survive. For who and for what sake I still can't say. Maybe I don't want to leave Master Lurien. He's all I have right now. I swore I'd watch over him… that's probably it. I live for him

I'm not sure if he's even aware in his eternal sleep but I will be here and I hope he knows that.

▪︎••

I've repaired the second trap and set it up. I've also scraped a bit of bone marrow out of the tiny bones of the vengefly and ate that. It tastes surprisingly good for being uncooked. The other bones have sat too long to be safe to eat but I'm taking note of this for the future.

Unrelated but I'm glad Lurien had so many stone tablets laying about. I was never a fan of the silk parchment. The humid air and wet conditions make keeping them maintained rather difficult, especially now. They may be easier to write on but they won't stand the test of time.

Back to my survival. The traps are set up and I can continue to scavenge. My wound is healing and I think I've grown used to the pain, it certainly makes getting around a bit easier. I can at least stand up straight again. I will go out and look for food and supplies after I sleep for a little bit. I have learned how to avoid the husks up here so they have become a non issue.

•▪︎•

A few scraps.

I shouldn't be surprised I'm struggling but I'm still frustrated. Food was tight before the infection got this bad so it's only logical food is tight now but this feels absurd. I know the other residents and guards had to eat and the places where the food was stored is behind danger. I'm just complaining. Of all the places to be trapped I feel like the city is probably the worst. Most of the food came from outside the city. But the king sealed the gates. He only trapped us all here. He sealed our fate.

I wish these fucking birds would just take the bait. I'm not eating nearly enough.

•▪︎▪︎

I apologize for my vulgarity in the last journal but I feel my frustration is justified. I've nibbled on one of the canvases just to lull the need to chew on something. It will not satiate my hunger and I think I just feel worse now but it felt good in the moment I think. I moved one of the traps to the telescope. Maybe them being farther apart will increase the chances I catch something - anything. I might need to do something drastic at this point

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Before I write on the subject of this journal I want to preface - I am ashamed of what I've done. I am desperate and in a situation most bleak but this does not make what I did any better.

I now have food for a few days. The way I acquired it is awful. His name was Elgor. He was in charge of overseeing the guards' scheduling in the spire. He was a kind but stern man before the infection claimed his mind. I often shared lunch with him when our schedules allowed it. I did not target his husk out of any hatred or any reason other than desperation.

I used the lance I acquired from the Sentry I fought a while ago and attacked him. He slapped me around with a surprising amount of strength but I ended the encounter as quickly as I could. I never thought I'd ever need to butcher a man let alone eat one. I had to cover his face with rags to not look at him while I did it. I question now if being a mindless husk would be better than this. At least the husks seem to be protecting each other.

▪︎▪▪︎

I am still reeling from what I've done. I hope to write a full biography for Elgor from this. I feel dirty. I feel as though I've defiled his corpse. I've noticed the husks up here seem more anxious in his absence which makes me feel worse. I'm questioning if I should've just starved. I've apologized to Elgor countless times and I can only hope some part of him somewhere knows I did not want to do this and that I regret it.

Despite my feelings I can't bring myself to ditch his body. I killed him to eat and at this point I should go through with it. I've already started. I'll give him as proper a burial as I can when I can.

•▪︎•

It has been several days. Elgor has sustained me and I've dedicated the energy he gave me to preserving his memory as best as I can. I've wrapped his body in cloth and hope I can bring him to ground level soon. I think I've made peace with what I've done, I'm not quite sure. I'm not sure I feel a whole lot right now.

I have caught one vengefly and have decided to wait until I kill and eat it. I have far more energy now so I can begin my search for a stable food source once again as I am NOT doing what I did to Elgor to someone else. I refuse to. I can't.

••▪︎

After a few more days I've finally made progress. I've gathered a few days worth of rations from one of the guards’ rest areas. This isn't anything sustainable but I'm so, so happy about this. I thank Elgor for giving me the energy I needed to get to this point. I'm also getting better at avoiding the husks.

Though the light is getting brighter, it's getting louder. She calls me by name. I'd almost forgotten my own name. I'm torn between hoping for my continued survival or giving Elgor the burial he needs. There's no way I'm getting to the resting grounds but perhaps I can send him off into one of the rivers that flow through the city. I doubt it would be the burial he'd want but I don't have much to offer.

•¤▪︎

The infection rings in my mind. I'm thinking about it more and more. So I risked it and took Elgor to the ground. It had been so long since I was on solid ground. I found a somewhat secluded area And watched his body disappear below the surface of the water. I stayed there for a while and wept for him. I feel terrible. Just a few days before the infection becomes a bigger issue I cannibalize what was left of him. The husks do not speak anymore, the only word I've heard is “attack” from the Flying Sentries, but this doesn't make things better.

I'm going to spend time with Lurien. I really need it right now.

¤•▪︎

My mind feels not my own. I fight to regain myself. All in vain. All in vain. The king failed. The king failed us all. He killed us all. I just want to go back to the way things were. I wish I could see my friends’ eyes full of life, I wish I could speak with Lurien again, I wish I could be happy again, I wish the light never descended upon this land. I miss the peace, I miss my friends, I miss my life. I'd give anything to go back to that.

פ¤

Lost all of them. Lost all. Lost. Master's given life for naught. Not worth. The cost too great cost too great. Lost all kingdom life light. None left left to grieve. Non left to give. How much more must we suffer?

¤¤¤

Master, light calls.

•°×

I'm not sure how but I still remain. This journal comes many days after the last. Maybe even weeks. Time eludes me. Reading over my last three journals and am astonished the infection didn't take me.

It is very hazy but I sat by Master Lurien and I think I was trying to fight it off. Perhaps I was thinking of what remains and how empty the future feels because I remember giving up. I so clearly remember it because that's when the infection backed off. It still rings like windchimes In my mind but it's less overbearing. I don't understand. Why am I still alive? I've never seen anyone get so close to the edge but pull themselves away.

Even as I write I don't fight it. I don't have anything to fight for. I'll update my journal series if I'm still aware and I deem it necessary I suppose.

×▪︎°

I ponder if being infected would be better than this. There is nothing for me here. There is nothing for anyone. This place is no better than the wasteland outside of the kingdom borders. At least with being a mindless husk I would not need to feel this pain. it's not even the physical pain it's the mental anguish. I cannot put into words the despair I feel

It's indescribable

I want revenge but seek revenge on a king that abandoned us. I want things to change but they will never change. I want to be happy but this hellish place will not allow that. Master Lurien, I'm sorry, but I don't know how much more I can endure. How much more I can despair. How much more I can hate. I crave a death deeper than that of the body - I don't want there to be an afterlife. The gods of this world are unbearable and I want naught for them to hold my soul. Let me fade. Let me become nothing.

*▪︎+

It has been a very long time since I've written in this specific series. My words are written elsewhere. I am in a much more stable position and state of mind. Still not a mindless husk. I acquired some edible fungus from the edge of the city and have started a small farm. I recently relocated the traps to a lower floor as I'm far more adept at navigating the spire and its dangers. I've also made more of them.

I've picked up many hobbies to keep myself occupied - painting, carving, crafting, singing. I've also explored some of the city. Most of what I've seen has been completely destroyed. I don't explore often. Not much to see unless I want to depress myself. I've fallen into a consistent routine and found a reason to continue living.

I swore myself to Master lurien. I'd be forever at his side. I think I've mentioned this in previous journals but I've decided my days will be spent preserving him and what he did for this fallen kingdom. The bastard king may have failed us and sacrificed so many, including Lurien, for nothing but Lurien was loyal to the end. He sacrificed his life for that fool. So I'll make sure his name, who he is, and what he did is not forgotten. I hope Herrah and Monomon have someone who would do the same for them as well.

×*●

Much time has passed and I once again return to my journal. I feel I need to on occasion to remember who I am and who I was before the infection became an issue. I had forgotten my name. Urik. It feels so foreign. Disconnected. I had to dig around for my first journal just to find it. This series of tablets has been discarded to a corner almost entirely. Perhaps I need to focus on myself some to reconnect with who I am.

But perhaps not. I don't think I'm that important anymore. I will live here, preserve here, and die here. Simple as that and I am at peace with and find comfort in that. There's nothing else for me so why concern myself with things that won't matter in the long run. For all I know I will be nothing more than a corpse in a month's time. It changes nothing. I've written all I can about Lurien. This will likely be the final entry in this series since I am not what matters here in this spire. What matters is my master.

@●¤

My past self is a damned fool for not realizing just how much time “the rest of my days” could be. The time gaps between these entries keeps getting longer and longer. I'm certain the time frame between the last two was almost a whole year. No clue how long it's been since I last wrote since it feels like eternity. I can only write, watch, and read and paint the same damn things over and over and over and over again until I need something new.

The infection has become something of a friend to me, one of the few constants of my life. It tells me things and I acknowledge them. Its influence over me fluctuates. Some time I am in a daze and some time I am barely affected by it. But despite everything it's done I can't see my life without it anymore. I'm definitely just lonely and borderline mad but I've nothing else to share to the no one that will read this, so.

@#■

Years alone. Years above. Years alone. Years above. Years alone. Years above. Years alone. Years above. Years alone. Years above. Years alone. Years above. Years alone. Years above. Years alone. Years above. Years alone. Years above. Years alone. Years above.

●¤°

What the hell was I on last entry? I don't remember writing that and just stumbled upon it in Lurien's Journal room. Maybe I was having some kind of infected bout or something. Oh well I guess

#■•

I have not experienced fear this intense in an eternity. Someone entered the spire. Someone bested the Knights below. Someone sought to hurt HURT Lurien. I managed to convince them otherwise sending them off to a strange sight I found below the city. I've locked down spire from the Knights room to up here. If that THING BASTARD comes back they aren't getting to him. To one will hurt Lurien. The seals must remain. They cannot be broken. They will not break. Never break.

@◇>

The ground shook with a might I have not felt in forever. A deep bellowing roar from the waterways. At least we're safe up here. Never breaking seals. Lurien is safe. Forever safe. The light is gone and my mind is empty. It's quiet. Quiet. Too quiet. I hate this. Why is it gone? Gone from me? I can't stand the silence. Empty empty silence. Loud and far too quiet. I need to fill the void. I can start in darkness but I need the background noise I can't stand it can't stand it can't stand it CANT STAND IT

The anger has returned. DAMNED KING

He killed us all, trapped us all, doomed us all. Nothing left for us because of him. No more life no more light. No more. Nothing but empty. Empty. I can't understand why Lurien was so loyal to a fool. A fool that used him. Doomed him. Killed him. I suffer in silence. Silent. My mind is empty, my will is shaken, and my voice is meek. But I remain. Remain at Lurien's side. Never leave. Never forget. Never abandon.

[leonawriter]

Y'know how I go on and on about how the movies are canon and I wouldn't be surprised if "Toichi and Yusaku are brothers" was in Gosho's notes from back when he first started coming up with ideas for Detective Conan when he was still writing Magic Kaito?

Funnily enough, there are a few things Gosho's done that would be just as happy (if not more so) if we could turn back the clock on them and tell him "you do not have to do that, actually." Weirdly, most of them are to do with the Magic Kaito side of things.

One: I... actually kind of liked when Kuroba Chikage was just a normal lady who was bringing up her son and she maybe knew about the fact that the house was full of magician's tricks but she loved her husband and oh dear, there always comes a time when the dove has grown up and needs to fly, there goes Kaito, isn't he looking good in white?

Basically the series has so many characters who are just "amazing, outstanding in their field" and/or "never home" that it would have been nice if Chikage had just... been a stay at home mom purely to be Kaito's support. But since Gosho came up with Phantom Lady, and since she spends so much time in Vegas, Kaito... doesn't have that from her. She's absent now.

Two: Toichi has been hinted at being alive since ch31-33/the Kaitou Corbeau heist, and... at the time I might have thought it was cool, but to be honest I've not held any desire or hope there the way I have for other things. The idea of Toichi as a ghost haunting the narrative (literally or figuratively) is much more compelling to me than that of him having left his family, faked his death, and then... encouraged his sixteen year old son to take up his mantle.

Toichi can (with all due respect) stay dead and the narrative is still good. As a dead dad, he's not a bad dad. He's just dead. The moment he's alive, he brings in all of these complications of "where were you" and "what were you doing" and all these messy emotions that Gosho's not been writing enough MK in order to address.

Three: Sometimes I think the addition of Nakamori Midoriko is a good one, and she's a fun character. Sometimes... I feel like I and the narrative could forget her easily, and nothing would change. If anything, that would make it better, because with Midoriko the Nakamoris feel distant, always missing each other, and barely talking.

Without her, there's the ability for Ginzo and Aoko to talk and to have a sense of bonding together. In a strange sense, if Midoriko were either actually separated from Ginzo and they're civil but don't talk (unlike Ran's parents, who do talk but aren't civil) or if she'd passed away years prior, there'd be a stronger and heavier sense of Ginzo being Aoko's only support and vice versa, making it have more weight when he can't make it to something she wants him to be there for, or if he forgets her birthday party.

I've seen in a few fics the idea of Kaito and Aoko bonding over Kaito having lost his father and Aoko having lost her mother, so it feels like they're even. When Kaito only has his mother (and later on, she starts travelling) and Aoko has... both parents... even if they work odd hours, it... makes it oddly uneven and unequal.

tl;dr?

Sometimes, by trying to involve characters, fill in gaps, or make a situation (often with a woman) more progressive, Gosho actually makes things more complicated in an unnecessary way, and it doesn't always actually work.

[convenientalias]

Please Watch Circle: Two Worlds Connected (Another Manifesto)

After convincing some ppl to watch White Christmas, I am filled with hubris and thus have returned to try to convince y'all to watch another kdrama thriller. This times it's Circle: Two Worlds Connected (2017). It's sci-fi, it's whumpy, it's got a dual timeline going on, and it's got a great cast. It's also one of the first kdramas I ever watched--I started it back in 2017, lost access to the site I was streaming it from, and 3 years later, when I became actually competent at finding kdramas, I remembered to go find it again! I've now watched it... four times? five times? anyway it's a good show so let's dive in.

The Premise

Every episode of Circle has two parts to it.

The first part: In 2017, a college student named Kim Woo-jin is having family problems. His paranoid twin brother is convinced aliens exist and are killing ppl. Woo-jin met an alien once when he was a kid, but he's been repressing this and ignoring the implications ever since bc of related trauma. Then Woo-jin's twin goes missing, and Woo-jin goes haywire trying to track him down.

The second part: In 2037, society has become a little dystopian, particularly in a closed-off island city called "Smart Earth". "Smart Earth" is supposed to be a place without crime, but when a murder takes place, Detective Kim Joon-hyuk, an outsider, worms his way in to investigate. Secretly he's more interested in investigating Smart Earth itself... and trying to find his long lost brother.

HM I WONDER IF THERE'S A REASON THESE CHARACTERS BOTH HAVE KIM AS A SURNAME. PROBABLY JUST A COINCIDENCE I WOULDNT KNOW. IM SURE THESE TWO MYSTERIES HAVE NO RELATION TO EACH OTHER AT ALL.

The Characters

Kim Woo-jin:

Yes that is Yeo Jin-goo (I feel like most of my followers have watched Beyond Evil, but if you haven't, maybe you know him from Hotel del Luna or The Crowned Clown, idk, he's great). And yes, he is incredibly stressed and will be for pretty much the entire show.

I feel like the main selling point of the first half of this show, apart from the mystery itself, really is just "do you want to see Yeo Jin-goo be so, so tired and act in progressively more insane and risky ways over the course of twelve episodes".

He is a very good brother. He also is in a dynamic duo with a girl who may or may not be an alien. More on that below.

Kim Bum-gyun

He's paranoid and he's not always the best brother. But he's trying to be better and also. He may be (at least partly) right.

Han Jung-yeon

"Hey look at me I'm a normal college student and definitely not an alien. Despite the fact that I do kind of look identical to that alien you met like fifteen years ago."

"Regardless that was not me bc I am normal. Let's become a detective duo!"

Kim Joon-hyuk

Played by Kim Kang-woo! I feel like he's a bit less known than Yeo Jin-goo but I still love him. Very versatile actor. In this he's being your typical unruly cop but with Many Secrets. Going into much more detail than that would unfortunately give spoilers but I like seeing him piss Lee Ho-soo off.

Lee Ho-soo

Nicknamed "Pierrot" by Kim Joon-hyuk for the way he's ~always smiling~, Lee Ho-soo is Smart Earth's ideal peacekeeping employee. He thoroughly believes in their dystopian mood regulating technology and closed off society and no, he does not want to learn any deep dark secrets, thank you very much!!! Leave him alone!!!! (Yeah, he's going to go through all kinds of emotional breakdowns lols.) My favorite character on my first watch-through; later I began to stan Woo-jin more but it's a close thing.

So, so, so...

Is It Shippy?

Honestly, kind of depends on what you're looking for. The most obvious ships would be Kim Woo-jin/Han Jung-yeon, a ship that is very teased but never becomes canon, and Lee Ho-soo/Kim Joon-hyuk, a classic bickering-but-gradually-coming-to-understand-each-other type of duo. There are other shippy routes you could take... my friend for example ships two of Woo-jin's professors. I personally think certain reveals could lend themself to a [REDACTED] [REDACTED] shipping dynamic, which is all too rare, but since I redacted that part you will never know what I mean by that.

Is there shippy fanfic out there? NO BECAUSE THERE ARE A TOTAL OF FOUR FANFICS FOR THIS SHOW ON AO3 AND I CANT FIND ANY ELSEWHERE EITHER. yes three of those are shippy. YES I WANT MORE PLEASE.

More General Thoughts

Circle is a little melodramatic and messy, but it is also very clever. Even after the basic worldbuilding becomes clear, you probably won't be able to guess all the answers to the mysteries until mm. Episode eleven of twelve? I mean I'm sure there are people out there much better at guessing than me but. I didn't.

I also think it's more fun to watch this show (at least the first time) with a bunch of different theories in your mind as to what happened during the time skip. I had at least three running concurrently. No, none of them were correct. I never said I was good at guessing I only said I had fun.

Not EVERY loose thread gets tied up by the end. But things do get mostly resolved. And there's a lot of angst and suspense along the way!

Here are a few more pictures to convey the vibe:

I can also offer you a minimal number (two) of goofy gifsets.

Closing thoughts:

If you've watched Circle, pls come talk to me sometime. If you haven't watched Circle, I recommend giving it a try! I can tell you that anecdotally ppl who I've forced to watch White Christmas and Circle both like Circle better (except me, I like White Christmas better but also I am to be fair obsessed with both).

And for now, I have successfully exorcised my Circle feels for the day. Probably. I hope. (I may be back.)