#i missd u

[strawbubbysugar]

With June getting his rewrite/non y/n affirming surgeries I’m imagining CSD!y/n in FrankenFate leaving to go pick berries and coming back to a whole man in their house that looks completely different but is still acting like their good friend y/ngineer. Reaction ala pearl

“THATS NOT MY FRIEND”

@pillowspace

[irl]

lowk tho kinda bummd abt th calico hair trend

[headphonemouse]

Follow up to this post brought to you by @forgetme-eternally-blissfully, in fanfic snippet format because I gave up on drawing the comic (the fanfic was supposed to be a comic draft but I added too many details)

Kim Dokja lays on the ground among the rubble of a ruined building. He twitches a little before his eyes open. The world is blurry. In the distance, he can see a dark blur fluttering around his surroundings. As his vision comes into focus, he can recognize Yoo Joonghyuk searching through the debris.

A sharp pain coming from his side causes Kim Dokja to let out a groan as he struggles to push himself up to a sitting position. The sound catches Yoo Joonghyuk's attention and immediately he starts making a beeline in Kim Dokja's direction.

As Yoo Joonghyuk approaches, Kim Dokja takes note of Yoo Joonghyuk's tattered coat, his bloodstained body, the wounds on his face, hands, legs. None too serious though some deep enough to inevitably leave scars later.

Yoo Joonghyuk is getting closer, kneeling down, reaching his hand out towards Kim Dokja's face, making a move to pull Kim Dokja in when Kim Dokja decides to open his mouth.

"You're not losing your balance and having trouble standing are you? I'm not going to carry you on my back this time."

"Shut up," is all Yoo Joonghyuk says as he wraps his arms around Kim Dokja's shoulders. His grip is tight, one hand on the back of Kim Dokja's head, the other circled around his upper back.

There is a gash in Kim Dokja's side that throbs with pain. Blood loss has his head spinning and his vision blurring again. From where his face is pressed into Yoo Joonghyuk's shoulder, Kim Dokja can smell blood, sweat, smoke. Buildings continue to crumple in the background and the sound of something falling pitters in his ears. His hands tense and untense, relax and remain by his sides.

Kim Dokja lets out a breath and leans into Yoo Joonghyuk, just slightly. Just enough so that Yoo Joonghyuk can tighten his hold by a hair.

----------

Author's notes (what would normally be my image caption):

I said in the referenced post that Kim Dokja has no trouble reciprocating affection once someone else initiates, but I think Yoo Joonghyuk is the exception. Always exceptional, that one. At least during the Scenarios.

Kim Dokja can read his movements, see what Yoo Joonghyuk is aiming to do, can read his mind, dammit. But he can't comprehend his actions. Yoo Joonghyuk acting in a way that Kim Dokja doesn't know about is something that happens more and more often as time goes on, and serves as a reminder of the wall that exists between a protagonist and a reader, but also the wall that exists between two normal people. Because at this moment, Kim Dokja is still struggling to see Yoo Joonghyuk as his own person instead of a protagonist or a 1863x-regressor-to-be. He's blinded by what he knows and has seen in his own past, which he assumes will be Yoo Joonghyuk's future. When he looks at him, does he see those ghosts of the future flickering superimposed over the shape of the man before him? This is the sort of wall that exists between them.

So when Yoo Joonghyuk acts outside of Kim Dokja's expectations, Kim Dokja tries to push them back on course with banter. "Yoo Joonghyuk is getting closer, kneeling down, reaching his hand out towards Kim Dokja's face, making a move to pull Kim Dokja in-" Kim Dokja sees all of this, takes note of all of this, knows what's to come of it. Doesn't understand it one bit. He's not oblivious. It's more like, "Why? Why me? Why would someone feel this way about and want to do these things with me?" He KNOWS the effect he has on people. He intentionally calculates how much he interacts with Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung to ensure their loyalty towards him in the early scenarios (not so much so after like Scenario 5-ish so we're talking early-early scenarios. After that point he more supports them in the direction they want to go (when that direction is the direction he already wanted them to go anyways. something something picking teammates because he knew they were already loyal and righteous by nature, nurturing them so that they would be able to carry out their justice no matter the adversary. He chose them because he knew they were loyal and strong, but they weren't loyal or strong at the time. But they would be in the future. But they wouldn't have been without him. But in another time where he didn't exist they were strong anyways see this is how he is able to have ultimate faith in his party members and know the kind of support he has given them while still being unable to recognize his own value in the grand scheme of things. Because they would have been fine without him, he's SEEN it. This is another wall between him and other people, another future ghost)). So he knows how much influence he has in other peoples' lives. But he values himself so little that he is blind to the emotional, sentimental weight he has to these people. No matter how much he knows he's done for them, he won't see himself as worthy of genuine praise or recognition, affection, love.

So this lack of self recognition extends to his perception of all of his companions, but especially so to Yoo Joonghyuk. Yoo Joonghyuk is probably the person whom Kim Dokja is the most strict about characterization with. Kim Dokja knows him the best, it's true, but he also doesn't know a damn thing about him as a person instead of a character and that makes him feel a certain way. Vulnerable, I think. Lonely. That childish feeling of betrayal when the characters walk off the page without him. There are sides to people and characters that you will never know simply because they weren't observed. And there are sides of people that you have no right to know. It is by becoming a person instead of a reader that you must abide by those rules and give up omniscience. Part of being a person and recognizing another's personhood is to willingly not know everything about them.

Anyways. He's not there yet. Not by Hug Attempt #2. This was supposed to have 3 parts with the last one set after the epilogue but we'll see if I ever get to it.

[ebonytails]

Imagine if Kris just woke up one day as a monster. No context why, nor how it happened. Everything else is exactly the same as it was before, it's just that he's no longer human.

And the only person that remembers this is Kris himself.

U mean like,, rn?

(rmndr that kris canonically uses they/them btw xoxo)

[skeetlebeetle]

shiver is boring frye is boring big man is boring their dynamic is boring n their designs suck. shiver’s design is alrite but frye’s is ugly as hell n big man’s is j uninspired, itz liek they were tryn 2 make him the next Cute Animal Memed Mascot guy but he j looks out of place n bland. shiver n frye r almost xactly the same character n big man’s only distinct personality tr8s r Being Quirky (being the Haha Random team since itz hard 2 do 3 teams [which, im not a fan of 3 rathr than 2 eithr) n Being the Medi8or of frye n shiver. look ik nothing cud evr beat pearl n marina’s chemistry but i mean @ least try. n that doesnt mean by making clones of them or wtv as u can c i am begging 4 these characters 2 b distinct. personality wise. not frye tho maybe make her .. less distinct. god her design

[cocolacola]

i cant believe i missed baldi basic birthday on march 31st my life has no meaning g

[pootimedes]

pootiii.,.,. pooti i missd u so much pooti.,., like a drunk character missing the person they just saw pooti i miss uuuu

dont worry bbb im here <3

obligatory /p

[fuckin-pistol-whipped]

evrytime this mf disappears my heart stops functioning properly until hes back again i haven’t been on tumblr in a few days finally ur back i missed u STOP GIVING US HEARTATTACKS DOOD ITS NOT FUNNY ☹️

-👰🏻‍♂️

ah shit i’m awful sorry my man. missd ya 2, always nice seen ya in my inbox 🤟💚

[the-spider-cg]

Hihihihiiii don rembew ifs I intwodusd mesewf toos u yets bu I in a system wiffs 🍼🐈 anon!

Dey missd u supew cawzy lots hehe

I Abvy an I a sharkie pubby!!

-🐾🦈

@chompiesharkie

well then, its nice to meet you, Abvy!

[v-anrouge]

YOUR THEME 😳 GHVDJJYEJHFVGYRSJJRWDC

:0 rook

I MISSD U

[trulese]

Meow

'purrrrr' baabbee i missd u sm how ar u

[qquiinnyy]

quiinnn u wer gon for a lil bit i missd u ^^ or i jus am an idiot an u wer here the whol time

Noo I was gone for 2 weeks ^_^ I missed uuu

[dreamybasil]

Greetings Soda.

I wanna check on you to say hru?

I'm doing..energetic but tired and bored if u ask me ^w^

i missd u.,,.,. but i still check some of ur posts that appear on my dashboard im doing horrible and exhausted my nose is stuffy and i have to blow it like every minute i dont like it

but it's good that you're still energetic, even if tired and bored

[jwowwsboobs]

HI I MISSED U 🫂🫂🩶🩶🩶

I MISSD U TOO HOW R U HOLDING UP

[citrusitonit]

i missd tumblr sgo fuckigm much bro like wow i cant believe id want 2 see u little freeks agin

[ugly-lizard-crab-thing]

WELCOME BACK I MISSDED U 💕 also thanks for the crabs :3

Yeah it's good to be back!! I had a Very shitty month and while it's not exactly over I feel kinda more human less insane and calm enough to hang out on tumblr dot com again. Missed you so much though! These crabs are ultra cherished 💗