#i miss you so much freedom please come back
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magicat1337 · 1 month ago
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We need the Weaving-Bloom-Parker-Wood alliance back rn because why did an Orlando Bloom fangirl call me a slur when I told her Elrond is my favorite character
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant
#positivity#pro aging#also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye#saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end#i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks#it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging#in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom#as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you#older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake#and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints#and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like...#...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same...#...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that...#...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that...#...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are...#...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself#and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older#but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences#and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe...#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body#i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was#i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it#and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World#it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living#inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH#didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????
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merrinla · 1 year ago
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Portrait spamming
Recent discovery. If you click on the portraits of the characters like crazy, they will react to it. And the developers had a lot of fun coding these reactions xD
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Tav / Dark Urge
normal - I'm awake! Mostly. - I'm starting to get a headache. - Must be the tadpole. - Quit knocking around in there! - A thousand needlepricks in my rotten skull.
combat -Ahhhhhhhh! Okay, I feel better. - I have an itch in the worst place. - Is being a mind flayer so bad? - Just waiting to venture forth here. - I'm maiming as fast as I can!
stealth - What's that ticking? - Is it me? Am I ticking? - Bomb in my head about to go off. Great. - Ah, well. I had a good run.
Astarion
normal - Why do beautiful people taste better? It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities. - Ugh. Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit. - More like Drizzt Don't'Urden - no. No that's not funny. - Villains! Dissemble no more, I admit the deed! Tear up the floor - here, here! It is the beating of his hideous hea- oh, no, that's his brain. Where did I leave that heart?
combat: - I'm trying to focus on murder. - *Humming.* - I shot a svirfneblin in Menzoberranzan just to watch him die. - I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.
stealth - Shhh. Just think sneaky thoughts. - Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP. - Be very, very quiet - I'm hunting idiots. - I've got a brand new torture chamber, so come and play with me.
Karlach
normal - NOTE TO ACTOR/DIRECTOR: Blow a raspberry at the player. - Don't. Poke. The Karlach. - Who am I? - My eye!
combat - Eyes on the prize - we need to win this! - Not every soldier should've made it out of training. - Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner. - I ought to just burn this whole thing down.
stealth - My back can't take much more of this. - Not now, I'm being a sneak! - I'm getting too old for this nonsense. - I'm not built to crouch.
Gale
normal - I hope Halaster takes good care of Tara while I'm away. - Sembian wine; Cormyrian boar; Waterdhavian conversation. It's the little things you miss while on the road. - Oh, what a tangled Weave we web! - All the world's my stage and you're just a player in it.
combat - Just go for the Magic Missile and fire away. Never fails. - Don't make me go all Edwin Odesseiron on you. - Get. Out. Of. My. Head. - I really wish I could cast a Hold spell on you.
stealth - You made me hide, don't make me come seek you. - Gods, it's like trying to sleep with a mosquito in the room. - A little privacy please. - Stop it - that tickles.
Wyll
normal - Could do for a brew. - Where there's a 'Wyll', there's a 'y'. - Ever get the sense that someone's watching? - So two halflings walk under a bar...
combat - Can't hear myself think! - Wear your scars proudly. - As my father once told me: 'Can we get on with it?' - I find moderation is key.
stealth - Bad time for an itch. - Could do for a brew. - So two halflings walk under a bar... - Shush. No, really. Shush.
Lae'zel
normal - Must everyone be so exhausting? - Weapons high. Standards higher. - Is perfection too much to ask? - Pride is a virtue.
combat - I will know my queen! - There is no right or wrong, only truth. - What is the point, if not victory? - You are right to fear me.
stealth - Hush already. - There is no wisdom in madness. - Is perfection too much to ask? - There is but one way. Vlaakith.
Shadowheart
all modes - I wonder how I'll feel when I remember everything. - Strange. I've had more freedom this past while than my whole life... - Have to keep focused. Can't afford to get attached - to anyone. - If I succeed, maybe I'll be allowed a pet... ugh, stop being silly.
Halsin / his voice is currently bugged :(
normal - What I would not give for a chunk of fresh honeycomb... - Such attention... I never realised I was so popular. - Are you feeling lonely, perhaps? - Unwise, perhaps, to poke a bear this much...
сombat - Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe. - Perhaps try attacking the enemy? - Admirable stamina, yet terrible priorities. - You are insistent, are you not?
stealth - Most consider it unwise to poke a bear. - My, you are eager, are you not? - Please. I am trying to be stealthy. - Calm yourself. There is plenty of me to go around.
Jaheira
normal - Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too. - I would poke you back, but I fear that's what you want. - My, such strong wrists. - Well you certainly have the 'omnipresent' part down, don't you? - Please go poke the ranger instead.
combat - You have my attention - now do something with it. - What? What do you want!? - Do you know, I begin to wish they had never brought me back. - Yes, yes, have your fun. It isn't you they're trying to kill.
stealth - Dry those sweaty palms and let us try this again, shall we? - Argh, my knees! Oh. It was a twig. - Would that I could hide from you, too. - Careful, or I will take your toy away from you.
Minsc
normal - ARGH! My EYE, Boo! They went for my EYE! - Know that if you poke Boo, no higher dimension will keep you safe! - Heehee. Heeheeheehee. - Well, Boo? How do you want to do this?
сombat - Are you perchance a squeaky wheel in need of a kick? - I am armed! Armoured! And entirely sick of your foolishness. - I begin to grow annoyed. It is well for you that Boo does not let me learn the bad words! - Ignore them, Boo. Let them gaze deep into their own abyss, and wonder just what it is they are trying to achieve.
stealth - A little to the left? But not so hard you make me giggle. - Boo...? Are you dancing down there, or...? - Hush! I am surprising Boo for his birthday! He is... uh... eh... how old do hamsters get...? - I am the night. A pity, then, that it is so bright out.
Minthara
all modes - You had my attention, now you have my fury. - Phlar Lolth ssinssrickla. - Your suffering will be spectacular. - Stop, or die.
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lionneee · 22 days ago
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His, forever
English is not my first language, please be kind
Masterlist
Taglist
•Warnings: dirty talk, sex, anal fingering, stalking, kissing, perverts, piv, masturbation, talking of sex.•
Ex!Boyfriend!Aemond x Ex!Girlfriend!Reader
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He didn’t even like her at the start. She was sassy, she was noisy and sarcastic
That was at the start. She made her way in his group of friends thanks to Floris, she was a friend of hers.
When he started to know her, he saw why everyone loved her so much.
She was pure fire.
She was energetic, sweet, a cold glass of water on a hot day.
Their relationship was pure lust, passion, love.
It was the most powerful and intense relationship he ever had. They fucked like rabbits, they kissed as if there was no tomorrow.
They also fought. 
It was fire against fire, it was stubbornness against stubbornness, it was freedom against possession.
Aemond loved her, loved to be around her, loved the way she made him feel.
He didn’t want anyone else to feel what he felt when he was with her.
That was their downfall.
She pushed him away, always more, until it broke into a big argument and she broke up with him.
He hated it.
He hated life without her fire to warm him.
He needed her, but despite how much he called her, how much he texted her, she refused to come back to him.
So he decided to go to her.
It started randomly, Floris posted a story with her, writing the position and he went there.
She was at a pub, chatting and laughing with her friends, enjoying her evening.
He just sat at the counter and had a few drinks as he listened to her voice.
It was smooth, soft, sweet and soothing.
He loved it, and he missed it.
It soothed him enough to go through two more days. 
Then he felt the need to see her again.
Then it happened again.
And again.
And again.
He found himself following her the moment he walked out of his office, following her if she walked out, and spying on her from outside.
She always loved big windows, for the light to come in her room.
He surely didn’t mind it, it only helped him more to get a clear view of her wrapped in a towel as she put the lotion on her body.
“God, baby —“ He panted as he kept pumping his cock in his hand as he stared at her through the window. “You were always such a tease, uh?” He groaned as he felt himself reaching his orgasm.
God he missed her.
“You have no idea of what I’m going to do to you ass soon as I’ll touch you again -“ He moaned as he saw her drop the towel, her naked body in full display as he shot his load on the ground. 
He sighed and tucked himself back in his pants.
He wasn’t proud of it.
He didn’t like how he found himself jerking off as he spied on her like some random perv.
He wasn’t a perv. He just missed her.
Badly.
He wished she would have let him explain himself, he wished he could have touched her one last time.
He wished she would stay tied up to his bed and be fine with it.
He was frustrated. All the time.
He was frustrated when he was at work because he wanted to see her.
He was frustrated when he saw her, because he wanted to touch her.
He was frustrated after he saw her, because despite everything, he still found disgusting what he was doing.
But he couldn’t stop.
“I love you.” She smiled as they laid on their sides, facing each other. She raised a hand to move a strand of his hair out of his face. He smiled and closed his eye, relishing in her touch.
“I love you too. More than anything.” He said softly.
“I love you -“ He panted as he kept jerking himself off ferociously, holding her picture in his hand. “So much baby -“ 
He moaned as he looked at her eyes, her lips, her face as he kept moving his hand on his cock, fast. “I’ll love you forever —“ He managed to say the last words before coming with a strangled groan. “Always mine.” He rested his head back against the headrest.
He took a deep breath and got up to clean himself off before returning to bed.
“See you tomorrow, baby.” He said before falling asleep.
He kept staring at her. She was in the car right in front of him.
Sucking someone else's cock.
He could see the man throwing his head back, her head raising slightly enough to get in his field of view.
He felt something inside him break.
She was his.
His.
Whoever this fucker was, he was not going to last long.
He’ll make sure of that.
“I’m serious Floris, I haven’t heard of him since yesterday.” She sighed as she paced in her apartment.
“I’m sorry sweetie, it’s shitty when a guy uses you for sex.” She said at the other end of the line, holding her phone against her cheek.
“I don’t think that was it!” She groaned. 
“Baby, you don’t have a stalker, come on. You’re just stressed, and-“
“No, Floris! No. I know someone was following me the other day. It scared the fuck out of me I just started running home.” She sighed. “I knew I shouldn’t have started dating again, not when I thought I have a fucking stalker.” 
“What? No! So what if a fucker is following you? We’ll call the police, but you won't stop living!” Floris argued. She sighed and rubbed her forehead in frustration as Floris kept talking. “Listen, you lock yourself inside tonight, and tomorrow we’ll go to the police, okay?”
“Okay.” She sighed. “Yeah, okay. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight love, see you tomorrow.” She hummed and ended the phone call.
She carefully closed all her windows and doors, before going upstairs to take a shower.
It had been weeks since she started to feel uneasy, feeling someone always walking behind her, watching her every time she went out.
She shivered at the thought.
She did hope it was all her imagination.
She walked in her room and put the lotion on her body. She put on her pajamas, then she moved to close the windows.
She froze.
There was someone out.
He was staring at her.
She immediately closed the window, pulling the curtain and stepped back. 
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Imagination? It was fucking real.
She immediately ran to the front door to check it was safely locked, but someone knocked.
She gasped and stepped back, staring at the door.
He knocked again.
She bit her lip, her hands trembling as she felt on the verge of tears.
“W-who is it?” She asked with a trembling voice.
“Hey, it’s Aemond.” She let out a breath in relief and she immediately opened the door and threw herself in his arms, sobbing.
“Hey, hey, what is it, mh?” He asked as he immediately wrapped his arms around her, coddling her in his chest as she tucked her head under his chin.
“I-I thought—“ She sobbed. “S-someone-“
“Hey, shh, take deep breaths.” He held her closer, rubbing her back, his other hand in her hair. He slowly stepped on her apartment and closed the door with a kick. “I’m here, baby, I got you.” He whispered softly. “You’re safe.” 
He didn’t rush her, he let her cry out all her fears, her agitation and stress. He didn’t care if she was setting his hoodie, he only cared about having her back in his arms.
Even if he was the reason why she was so scared.
But she didn’t have to know that.
He only pulled back when he was sure she had calmed down.
“Better?” He asked as he caressed her cheek, holding them both in his hands.
She slowly nodded.
“Listen, I…” Aemond sighed. “I’m sorry about how I acted.” He looked at her in her eyes. “I never meant to hurt you. I still love you.”
She looked at him, her eyes widening slightly at his last words.
“A-Aemond… I…” She sighed. “Thank you.” She bit her lip. “But… you got me into a bad moment, I don’t know if I can right now.” She looked away, embarrassed.
Aemond smiled slightly.
“It’s okay. You seem tense.” He massaged her shoulders.
“Maybe I can help you loosen up?”
Despite the situation, she actually chuckled. Aemond smiled at her smile, proud of making her laugh. 
“Come on, baby. We never had sex after we broke up.” He walked closer to her, placing his hands on her cheeks again.
“Because it’s a must?” She looked up at him with an amused smile.
“Kind of.” He smiled.
She took a deep breath and looked at him. She placed her hands on his cheeks. She took her time to look at him, to study his face after so many weeks.
She felt strangely comfortable around him, despite how things ended between us, and how long it has passed since they last saw each other, she felt like she could trust him.
“Sex. One more time.” She chuckled.
She felt safe.
Maybe she really hallucinated, maybe there wasn’t no one outside.
Aemond smiled and crushed his lips against hers.
She moaned and let him pick her up, and bring her back to her bedroom.
She was naive.
A fool.
But he didn’t mind. Not when it was him who had to get her.
He pushed her back on her bed and immediately moved over her.
He was going to keep her. Forever.
And he’ll make her believe it’ll be her choice.
“I have condoms in my drawer-“ She mumbled as he pulled her shirt over her head.
“I have it.” He grabbed her wrist and moved to kiss her chest, nuzzling his face between them, covering with kisses every inch of skin his lips found.
He turned her around and pressed her face down on the mattress, pulling her hips up.
“God, you have no idea how much I want to fuck you —“ He was already panting, the sight of her plump ass in display for him was something beautiful. He quickly pulled her pants and panties down, then he unbuckled his belt, dropping it on the bed, then he stepped out of his pants.
He pulled off his shirt and slapped her ass as he let down his hand. He saw her wince at the spank, and smirked at her.
He looked down at his cock, and reached for his pants to grab the condom.
He opened it with his teeth and maneuvered the condom to let her believe he was putting it on.
He was not going to put it on.
Put on a barrier when he could finally have her again?
Madness.
He massaged his cock to use the lubricant of the condom on his skin, then he started rubbing the tip against her folds, slipping her open slightly, only to move out again and rub her clit.
“Oh — God, Aemond -“ She moaned as she arched her back, trying to rub back or make him slip his cock inside her.
“Slow, baby. You haven’t taken me for a long time, I don’t want to break you.” He leaned over her, placing his hands on the mattress, his arms brushing her waist. “Yet.”
He slowly started to push inside her, splitting her open around his cock.
She moaned loudly as she threw her head back, resting it against his shoulder.
“Yes — God you’re so tight, baby.” He moaned as he pushed back for a moment, only to slip back in, a bit deeper.
“Oh my God -“ She panted. “God you’re so big — “
“Yes, baby.” He growled as he straightened back up. “I’m big. Bigger than all the guys you could ever have —“ He pushed a bit more deeper. “I’m the perfect size for you-“ He pushed back. “Am I not?” He thrusted all the way back in, gripping her hips tightly so she couldn’t pull away.
He heard her loud cry, her whines and her moans.
He needed more.
“Come on, baby — You can take me.” He started to thrust inside her with abandon, he could feel her walls trying to push him out, squeezing him, massaging his cock in a way he dreamed over and over in the past weeks.
“Oh - God — Aemond!” She moaned louder, panting and arching her back. “I-it feels so good —“ She let her arms bent and hid her face in her sheets.
He put his thumb in his mouth and covered it with saliva.
“I’ll make you come so hard —“ He rubbed her butthole with his thumb, smirking.
“I remember you liking this.” He chuckled as he pushed his finger inside her asshole and started rubbing it downwards.
He could feel with the tip of his thumb his cock moving inside her, he could feel her body, her cunt, her walls move as he thrusted his cock inside her.
Her moans kept growing louder, her cries higher. 
He pulled his thumb out only to suck his pointer and middle fingers.
“Aemond — “ She moaned. “Harder — I need it harder —“ 
“Always wanting more, uh? I’ll give it to you, baby. I’ll give you everything I have.” He slipped his two fingers inside her asshole again.
She gasped loudly and leaned forward, moving slightly away.
“Come back here-“ He used his hand, still on her hips, to pull her back to him. “Let me make you feel good.” 
He started thrusting harder, just as she asked, and moving simultaneously his fingers inside her ass, pressing them downwards to make her walls rub harder against his cock.
“Oh fuck —” She cried out. “I’m gonna come - Aem!” She whined loudly.
“Yes, yes baby. Come for me.”  He growled. “I want to feel your ass squeeze my fingers — You cunt squeeze my cock -“ 
His words were too much for her, she felt the tension in her tummy snap, and waves of pleasure crashing down her body in strong, intense waves.
Aemond moaned loudly as he felt her walls massage his cock deliciously, his fingers unable to move any longer with how much her ass tightened.
“A-Aemond!” She moaned loudly as she fell on her bed.
Aemond couldn’t stop now, he followed her down, he slipped his fingers out her ass and laid on top of her, his hips moving on their own accord, trying to find the release he wanted inside her.
“Yeah, baby — So tight -“ He moaned as he kept feeling her cunt clenching around him. 
She gripped the sheets tightly in her hands as she cried out for the overstimulation.
“Fuck yes!” He let out a strangled moan as he finally stilled, spilling his load deep inside her and falling on top of her.
His, forever.
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miley1442111 · 2 months ago
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believe me- a.hotchner (18+)
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summary: aaron is there for you during a particularly difficult case.
pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!fem! reader
warnings: reader grew up in a cult, mention of hurting women, domestic violence, mental, physical, emotional abuse, children in dangerous situations, miscarriages, abortions, women being treated awfully, i hate this it scares me (i think that's it? PLEASE TELL ME IF I MISSED SOMETHING)
this is pretty dark so I will be saying it's 18+ only because of the content, please remember you manage what you consume, mdni.
not entirely proofread
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You sighed, walking into the bullpen. Another day. 
You sat down at your desk and started on your paperwork with as much enthusiasm as one would assume to be normal, but Aaron knew it wasn’t. He’d been watching you, they all had. The sunken eyes, dry skin, yawning at all hours of the day, refusing to stop working, refusing drinks or food, being ‘too busy’ to come for after work drinks. You had even stopped responding to his texts regarding Jack. You had always been the one on the team that Aaron was closest with, mostly because he was in love with you. Due to that, he also invited you over a lot to watch movies, bake, come to football games, etc with Jack. Jack adored you, probably more than he liked his own father (at least, that’s what Aaron thought). You hadn’t been texting or calling back. You two had gone on a few dates, at first he thought he had done something wrong, but then he watched you closer. It wasn’t him. 
Aaron stepped out of his office. “We have a new case, everyone meet in 5.”
You picked yourself up from your desk and followed him in, sitting in the chair furthest from him. 
“We have a new case, Dallas,” he announced. 4 images of women popped up on the screen, and you looked down, knowing exactly who and what they were. “4 women from the same family, killed in the same way, over one decade.” 
“Were they mother and children?” Spencer asked. 
“Yes,” you answered. “Their names are Delores, Tiffany, Riley, and Freya Howell and they all died via the head trauma they sustained in the ritual. The youngest was 17.” 
They all stared at you. You knew this was coming. You understood it.
“What ritual?” Aaron asked, looking straight at you. 
“The birthing,” you answered simply. 
“Why do you know about this?” Derek asked, just as dumbfounded as the rest of them.
You pointed at the screen. “That’s my mother, that’s my little sister, that’s my older sister, and that’s my cousin. There’s no point in getting us in. No matter what we find they claim religious freedom and hide. It’s a cult and it’s about killing women. I work with children to get them out.”
“So you know people in the cult right now?”
“I lived in that cult. I know every single person on that compound's entire medical, familial, and social history. Including the Supreme Leader. Trust me, they have all the fucking permits they could ever need. I’ve been working with another group to try and take them down, but it doesn’t work.”
“We have to try,” Aaron said, stoic as ever. 
“It doesn’t matter what you throw at them, legally they’re untouchable,” you sighed. “If we really want to help, then we need to work on getting the children out.”
“We need to make them illegal then,” Aaron said matter-of-factly, and you just sighed. 
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
On the plane, the team was wary of you, it was fine, you understood why. You had just told them that you grew up in the strange woman-killing cult you were now all going to investigate. 
“So what is ‘the ritual’?” Spencer asked. 
“When a woman is pregnant and they bring it to full-term, they are killed as their child enters the word. In the ‘teachings’ it is said to bring the child the strength of 2 people, and that they carry their mothers’ spirit. That’s why everyone’s middle name is their mothers’,” you explained. “See, it’s unusual for the women at the compound to bring children to full-term, at least, when I was there. And in the ‘teachings’, it was written that no women could get pregnant for years and years, but that one, the Supreme Leaders’ mother, could, and when he was in labour, he told her husband to bludgeon her. He did, and the Supreme Leader was born. They are trying desperately to have a new prophet. A new leader. So they began practising the ‘Ritual’ back when I was probably 12. Also, it’s difficult for women to get any kind of medical care in the compound, since they’ve rejected modern medicine, so it’s not uncommon for women to miscarry.”
“How old were you when you left?” Derek asked, the entire plane silent as you recounted your traumatic past. 
“18,” you explained. “I was one of the lucky ones. My mother was a teacher, before she joined the compound. She never wanted to join, it was always my dad’s idea. So she broke the rules. She taught us and another small group of children maths, English, history, and modern politics from any of the newspapers she could smuggle in. When we turned 18, they gave us a test. It was believed by the Supreme Leader that you were either born with the ability to write or not, and all of us in the group passed, so we were sent out to the world to recruit. We ran away. Found a place that they could never find us, cut all contact with each other, and moved on with our lives. I work with a few of them, trying to get children out, but for our own safety, we all act like we’ve never met before.”
“What happened to the others?”
“The ones who didn’t pass turned into husbands and wives, and then fathers. By the time I was 18 I was already married and on my second pregnancy,” you chuckled sadly. “He almost killed me when I said I was leaving to recruit. The men there, they’re taught to be violent. They’re taught to be animals. They’re taught to hurt women. My only saving grace was the ‘doc’. She was one of the eldest women in the compound. We all thought she was blind and half-dead. But she saved me. When I was about 2 months in, she picked me out of my bed and brought me to the edge of the compound walls. She asked me if I wanted the baby, I said no. She got rid of it. She made it look like a miscarriage.”
They were silent. 
“That’s what we’re up against. Years and years of sexual, physical, and mental abuse. A doctorate that no one believes but the men, and the men have all the power and strength. These women and children need help.”
“H-how many have you gotten out so far?” Penelope asked, tears in her eyes. 
“281,” you nodded. “And there’s still more.”
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Aaron walked you up to your room in the hotel. It had been a long day. You had been on speed dial the entire time, explaining everything to the entire team as you worked with your team on making a plan to evacuate all of the women and children. 
“I’m sorry I haven’t been calling back, all of my weekends have kind of turned into… this,” you explained, looking down. “I do genuinely like you Aaron, but I’d understand if what you found out today is too much or-”
“It's not,” he assured you. “Thank you for your insight, and I’m sorry that you have it.”
You nodded, the motion bubbling up in your throat as you thought over the last 24 hours. “I hope we can help them,” you whispered. 
“We will,” he nodded, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close as you cried into his chest. Aaron vowed something to himself right then and there, he’d always be there for you, no matter what. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”
Aaron helped you inside, helped you change into your pyjamas, helped you get ready for bed, and tucked you in, all while whispering words of encouragement. As you lay in bed, utterly exhausted from the emotional toll of the day, you found yourself reaching for Aaron’s hand. 
“Please stay,” you begged, your voice soft and small. 
How could he ever refuse? 
“Of course,” he whispered. Without a moment's pause, the bed dipped beside you, and Aaron opened his arms to accommodate for you. You settled yourself into his arms and pressed a kiss to his clavicle. 
“Thank you for believing me.”
“I’ll always believe you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
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criminal minds masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games :)
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missfertileandferal · 3 months ago
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lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3
i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:
Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.
Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey
My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time
The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.
One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain
I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬
I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho
That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration
my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!
new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘
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diejager · 1 year ago
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more eldritch:konig X his darling mermaid, please & thank you
Saccharine and Monstrosity pt.2
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Pairing: Eldritch Horror!König x mermaid!reader
Cw: kidnapping, manipulation, DARK FIC, DUB-CON/NON-CON, breeding kink, protective König, hunting, oviposition, tentacles, eggpreg, stomach bulge, forced breeding, forced pregnancy, possessive behaviour, tell me if I missed any. Wc: 2.6k
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Prev
You hadn’t seen the sun in a while, neither had you gone hunting, nor seen your parents. You missed the freedom you had, swimming and racing the others mers your age through the coral reefs, that mundane, but fun activity you did once in a while when everyone gathered at the same spot.   
“Please, König, I just want to lay in the sun!”
“Nein, the outside world is dangerous, Schatz, ” his tone seemed apologetic, eyes cast down, avoiding your tearful eyes that gleamed beautifully from the bioluminescent plants, “I cannot.”
That was what he always told you, his words repeated on themselves, overlapping in your mind without holding much intent of substance to it. Why would it when all he told you was no? His excuses were getting old, they rarely changed over the few months he kept you in his cave, the little haven you grew to love now became a prison, a pretty cage to keep you locked away from the world you were born into. They always had an aspect in common: danger. He would say that it was too dangerous for you, that there were horrors living around his cave and wandering too closely to the edge you found him, the precipice of light and darkness that he stalked you from. If it wasn’t that, he’d push strongly that you could be taken away from him, caught and eaten by another Eldritch Horror that didn’t have the same obsession and favorability for pretty things like you. 
He slowly approached you, arms reaching out towards you to embrace you, his fingers finding the softness of your hips. Kneading the line between your skin and scales, thumb smoothing over your opalescent scales, the smooth surface of it that helped you swim as swiftly as you could. You were a quick, little mouse, able to outrun him if you put enough effort and intention in it to escape his limbs. You shuddered against him, looping your arms around him for comfort that he never kept from you, often reminding you that he loved you and that he would do anything for you —except give you back your freedom.  
You sobbed, a heart-wrenching cry slipping out of your pout, your glossy lips pulled down while pearly tears floated upwards, the density of your tears weighing less than the heaviness in his cave, a closed-off ocean of horror he painted over with enthusiasm and comfort. He whispered sweet words to you, smaller tentacles slipping under his hood to cradle your face. They acted as individual fingers, holding your face as if they were hands holding your chin up, curling under your jaw and eyes with the smooth side of his limbs, keeping the suckers away from your pretty face. He touched you so gently, careful to never break your skin or dirty the angelic image he had of you in his sickened mind. He wrapped himself around you, his thicker limbs latching onto you with the intention of never letting go, curling and looping around one another. The messy bundles kept you stuck to him as you whined, crying out the frustration and sadness you felt throughout your situation.
“Hush, don’t cry, mein kleiner Schatzi,” he wiped away your tears, and collected them between the suckers of his arms, watching them gleam with an opalescent shine, much like those of black mollusc shells. They were a spectacle, a beautiful thing coming from his precious mate, “We can go out when it is safe, ja?”
You nodded your little head, closing your eyes and nuzzling against his broad chest, the softness of his scarred skin that easily moulded to fit your shape. It was strange how easily he changed to fit your liking, to answer to your whims despite your protest or your reluctance. You couldn’t hate him, you simply couldn’t after all the things he did for you and how well he cared for you. Perhaps you’d fallen for him, falling so deeply in this hole of unwilling darkness and strange affection —your naivety working against your betterment and with his mind, dark and wretched. Despite your wails and frustrations towards König, he was all you had, all you had known for the past months, so you sought comfort and safety from him, unknowingly falling into his plan. 
You let him lead you away from the open entrance, down the wide gate of his - your - room to lay you down, unable to move from the confines of his many arms and the warmth he provided. König was warm, he’d always burned hot compared to the cold waters of the abyss, the swirling vacuum of freezing water that seemed to have no end and the surface that stayed cool despite bathing under the sun for half the day. You thrived on warmth, soaking it up to keep your metabolism going, to be able to function without crashing or slowing down, you needed it and you depended on König to keep you warm. 
He pressed down on you, his broad figure looming over your smaller and fragile one, casting a dark shadow with his sole presence. He brushed your hair away, the tip of his tentacle tickling your ear as he murmured temptation, his wide palms leaving your hips to trail down the curve of your navel, teasing the dilated hole of your core, blinking and oozing out slick. He pressed a finger in, listening to you mewl and squirm in his tight hold, your tail twisting and turning before ultimately bucking into his palm when he slid a second one in. He watched your pretty lips part in a gasp, eyes rolling back in pleasure, your lashes fluttering so prettily for him. You felt him everywhere, he was inside of you and all around you, his many arms working as extensions of his presence, teasing you with his little suckers, pulling and biting at you. 
“Let me ease your mind,” his mask rose over his nose, tentacles parting like curtains to kiss you. It was all teeth and aggression, his kiss turning into a sign of possession, marking you with his taste and scent. He didn’t have any lips, or lips similar to yours, they were flat, hidden by a moustache of tentacles, thinner and shorter than his other ones, “Help you relax.” 
They easily slipped into your mouth as he pumped you, fingers curling into the softer part of your cunt. You mewled, rutting back, walls clamping down on his fingers, their thick and rough textures doing you in with the flick of your swollen nub once he coached it out of its protective sheath. He slipped the straps of your bra down your shoulder, letting the cup sag enough to show your pretty nipples, perky and glistening, tempting him to kiss and bite at them. In his rush, he snapped your bra from the middle by the girth of his tentacles, curling around your tits to knead and play with your little nubs, covering them with a sucker and he pulled, the ride closing around it and pulled. You clamped down on him, your slick sticking to his hand as you burst, eyes rolled back so far that all you could see was the white. König admired you, his eyes gleaming with glee at your climax, helping you ride it out with slow pumps of his fingers. He watched your pupils dilate, steadily coming down from your high with laboured breathing.
“You look so pretty like this,” he smiled under his hood, his eyes creasing in the low light. They roved over your face, over your hooded eyes and your parted mouth, down the slope of your neck and the swell of your breasts, and ending at your cunt, your labia closed around two digits, slick and throbbing. “You drive me crazy, Schatz.”
He was panting, his body riled up with how much his many limbs were swaying, latching onto you and hungrily climbing over you. He mumbled incoherent words, his pretty blues turning a bright red, a bloody crimson that made you feel apprehensive, fear and anxiety spiking in your mind despite the pleasurable buzz. You peered down when you felt something nudge your finger-filled cunt, looking at a particular-looking tentacle. It was harder and slick, the tip cylindrical-like with a long shaft and covered in veins, much like the ones on his arm, bulging and throbbing. You were oblivious to its use, confused about the different shape, but once it moved, the leaky head enthusiastically dipping into you, you panicked. 
You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, the engorged head of his arm pushing into you, guided by a hand, pumping himself to spread the slick and pre that gathered around his cock. You keened, head thrown back when he bottomed out, the veiny girth of his cock throbbing inside of you. His cock rocked into you, pulling out until his tip lingered, and your labia stretched around his thick rod before he rammed in so suddenly. It rocked you as a whole, your smaller figure jerked back with every hard thrust, your cervix feeling the brutality of his strength and devotion. You screamed, writhing in his restrictive hold, cunt battered by a hard, leaky cock with a flared tip, bulbous and smooth. 
“Scheiße, you’re tight,” he groaned out through gritted teeth, feeling your walls stretch as wide as you could to welcome him despite his size and girth, your pussy becoming wet and sloppy with the amount of slick you produced. You pulsed around him, still sensitive from your last orgasm, clit and nipples swollen and twitching under his tentacles. He could feel everything, jolts sent down his arms followed by a euphoric sensation that ran through his mind, leaving him pussydrunk, mumbling out praises, “Du fühlst dich so gut an. Scheiße – so süß, so nass.”
You felt like you would burst, ploughed open by König’s cock arm, warm wall milking and sucking him deeper, coaxing him to fill you up with him. Your lover’s pace grew frantic, snapping harshly and deeply as if to leave a lasting presence in your innermost part, to mould your pussy into the shape of his cock and his alone, rendering you impossible to be pleasured by the sheer size difference between him and others of his kind. With a few precisely, but sloppy thrusts, he had you gushing around him, back arching - as much as you could with his strong grip - pussy clamping down on him as he fucked you into the soft algae-covered surface. You blacked out, euphoria filling your hazy mind, slick dripping down the sides of your tail and your nerves were set alight with blinding fires, burning through you so strongly. 
König swore lowly, his chest rumbling against yours, his cock throbbed and his arm stuttered, pace growing unsteady as the whole length of his arm pulsed with a load of cum. He gave one last thrust, roughly slamming into your gummy cervix, before a rush of cum shot out of his tip, flooding your womb with hot, white cum. It clung to the wall of your womb like glue, coating your cunt in the same adhesive and warm substance. He groaned, nuzzling his face in your bared neck, falling victim to his wandering mouth, biting and lapping at your shoulder and throat. His whole body shook, laboured breaths kissing your sensitive skin as something travelled through the length of his shaft, small bumps varying in size, from small pearls to big grapes, steadily moving towards the flared head of his cock. 
You sobbed when the first egg struggled against the entrance of your womb, breaking through the firmness of your soft entrance. It pained you, the forced pop into your virginal womb that wasn’t made to take in, but push out. Your cries were shushed by König, his reassuring words mixed with his heavy breathing that did little to dampen the pain he put you through. The first egg dropped into your womb, sticking to the walls, and another quickly joined it, plopping down beside it, weighing heavily by every egg, adding to the heaviness inside of you. 
“You’re doing so well,” he brushed away your tears, his thumb gently cradling your cheek, groaning and grunting at the rising eggs and his flared tip unravelling to latch onto your whole cervix, “Just a few more, ja? I am almost done.”
His “a few more” were more so dozens than anything, stuffing you until you bloated slightly. You were exhausted, limbs as heavy as your stomach did, eyes fluttering through your hazy sight, dancing on the edge of sleep and consciousness. Perhaps if you closed your eyes, falling asleep in this moment, you’d wake up from this as if it were a nasty dream, finding yourself in your little cave near the surface of the ocean. Perhaps this was all but a nightmare made up by your anxious and paranoid mind from all the stories you’ve heard from your parents and the elders. You were tired after all, sleeping wouldn’t be so bad to regain all the energy you wasted, and you hoped - that if this was your reality - that König would take care of you for doing this to you, for enrapturing you with all his madness and devotion.
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You still missed the sun, the warm rays when you laid beneath it, just over a rock, but it was a far memory, further than you were willing to confess. You’d already grown used to his overbearing presence, his lingering eyes and wandering limbs, keeping one wrapped around your waists, your wrist or on your back, you’d gotten used to ignoring him and his dark eyes, bleeding into your world like the blood that stained the waters when he caught a live fish to feed you. 
He fit you in his schedule, a routine he practised on a daily basis without a fault. You would wake up with a wail, coming all over his tentacle at least twice before he left you alone for the morning. He would go hunting after making sure that you were comfortable on your little perch, returning an hour or two afterwards with enough food for the whole day and a few shiny trinkets to try to appease your sorrowful heart. They were pretty, shimmering and glinting under the bioluminescent light, similar to the pretty pearls and seashells you would collect. Despite his intentions, it only reminded you of a life long gone, one that you unknowingly and willingly gave up when you took his hand that fateful day, condemning you to a life of darkness and solitude. 
Then he’d spend the day with you, caring for your round stomach, rubbing soothing circles on your aching body, gently working the kinks and knots out of you. He provided for you, feeding you, soothing your pains, courting you with gifts and loved you with the entirety of his sickened heart. Your every need was taken care of, your hunger fulfilled, be it shark meat (a rarity for your kind of mermaid), squid or tuna, and your excitement satisfied with his cock, fingers, tentacles or mouth, eager to stuff you full despite your womb being grossly swollen with his progeny. He was fiercely protective, letting you out once in your month-long gestation, giving you the freedom to wander close to the ridge with a long arm wrapped around your waist. He never let you wander too far from him and never without a piece of him attached to you, clinging onto you as if you two were a singular entity —you probably were at this point, his thoughts and words echoing in your mind against your reluctance to accept him. 
“Mein kleiner Schatzi,” he called, laying his head on your shoulder, his hood hanging over you. He forced you on his lap, snuggling up to you as he curled - loomed - over you while he shamelessly let his hands rove over your swollen stomach, feeling the grooves and bumps of his eggs, “You are very round. One more month and we will have little Satansbraten.” [Mischievous child]
Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @havoc973 @candlewitch-cryptic @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @0-ramen-0 @dreamdiaries777 @under-the-dirt @ajadell @danielle143 @bubbletae7 @mushroompasta @skystreamchan @kaelysia @notspiders @dont-mind-me-just-existing-sadly @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @aldis-nuts @randominstake @lilpothoscuttings @cassiecasluciluce @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi
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coffeeshades · 5 months ago
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credits to the gif maker!
GUILTY AS SIN...? - PART I
summary: one summer with the man you can't have, but can't stop thinking about.
pairing: cillian murphy x popstar!reader
word count: 5.5k
warnings: 18+ (minors dni). mentions of sex. angst. cussing, slight age gap, mentions of alcohol and divorce. no use of y/n, heavily inspired by ts and ttpd. if i missed something please let me know. (also this is a work of fiction, none of it reflects how i feel about the people mentioned in this, most importantly cillian's wife, who im sure is a sweetheart irl. it's fiction, just relax and enjoy it, and if not, move along, friends.)
a/n: hi everyone! this turned out pretty long so i will be splitting it into parts so it's easier. next part will be posted soon. i hope you all have as much fun reading this as i had writing it. enjoy!
part two
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The breeze riffled through your hair as you drove, the sun warming your skin through the open windows. The Irish countryside stretching out before you, lush and green, with rolling hills and quaint villages dotting the landscape. The scent of wildflowers and the sound of nothing but the wind in the trees filled your senses.
It was rare, really. The silence, the feeling of complete freedom, and the solitude that enveloped you. A fleeting escape from the chaos of your everyday life.
The ping of your phone interrupted the peaceful moment. You tapped on the pop-up notification after briefly glancing at the directions to your destination. It was a message from Cillian. Well, two, actually. One was asking how far you were, and the other was a Spotify link followed by a question mark. Ever since he started hosting his bbc radio show, he's been sending you potential songs for his playlists to get your opinion. Not that he needs it anyway. But you always appreciate being included in his process.
Your lips curled into a smile as you clicked on the link. The familiar sound of The Blue Nile's "The Downtown Lights" flooded the car, instantly making you feel a wave of nostalgia. It's been ages since you've listened to that song. The synth-pop melody carries you up the pine-dotted path to where his house perches atop a hill, overlooking the crashing waves below. You've been here a couple of times, and yet it never gets less breathtaking. The Victorian architecture contrasting beautifully with the rugged coastline, creating a scene straight out of a painting.
The car glides right past the wrought iron gates, and you cut the engine in front of the stone steps leading up to the grand entrance. You shoot Cillian a quick text letting him know you're here, unbuckle your seat belt, and hop out of the car.
The June sun beats down on your skin instantly, heat radiating off the cobblestones as you open the backdoor to look through your bag for a hair tie. The smell of saltwater mingles with the sound of gulls overhead, sending you into sensory overload. "Gotcha," you mutter to yourself as you finally find the hair tie and pull your hair back into a loose bun.
"You drove here?" you hear him call out from behind you, his voice tinged with surprise. "And you're alone?" you turn around to see Cillian walking towards you, a curious expression on his face.
"I actually had to throw a tantrum to convince them to let me come alone," you reply with a chuckle, feeling a sense of pride at your small victory. "I was like, It's Ireland. What's the worst that could happen?"
Being who you are means being guarded against any potential danger or harm at all times, being driven to almost everywhere, and always having a security team around.
Cillian laughs, a sound that makes your heart flutter and makes you want to hear it again and again. "Well, I'm glad you made it here in one piece, love," he says with a grin. "You're not a very good driver."
Your cheeks flush with embarrassment. You did regret your decision to drive from the airport 10 minutes later when you realized you were on the wrong side of the road. But he didn't need to know that.
"I made it in one piece, didn't I?" you playfully retort, trying to salvage your wounded pride. Cillian chuckles and shakes his head with a twinkle in his eye. You stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. He looks good, you thought. Unbelievably good. Well rested. His jet black hair was perfectly styled, even though you know he didn't put any effort into it—the slightest hint of silver at the temples, his sharp jawline, and those piercing blue eyes that seemed to see right through you. Though they looked a little tired, as if he had been through a lot since the last time you saw him.
You quickly avert your gaze, feeling a rush of heat on your cheeks.
"It's good to see you," you finally manage to say, trying to sound casual. Cillian's smile softens, and he replies, "It's good to see you too." He opens his arms, inviting you in for a hug. The soft fabric of his t-shirt brushes against your skin as you embrace him, and for a moment, everything feels right in the world.
"Come on, let's get inside," he says, leading you towards the house. Once inside, you make your way to the kitchen. The house was quiet; you wondered if anyone else was home. Cillian's family wasn't by any means loud or boisterous, but the silence felt heavier than usual.
"You hungry, love?" Cillian asks, opening the fridge, pulling out a white ceramic container, and setting it up on the kitchen island. You take a seat on one of the stools while he stands across from you.
"For something sweet?" you smile, seeing the container filled with what seems to be a piece of strawberry sponge cake. His mom must've made it. "Always," you reply. He hands you a spoon and takes one for himself, the two of you sharing the dessert in comfortable silence.
Until he broke it.
"How was Madrid?" he asks softly.
"It was good, great crowd," you reply, taking another bite of the dessert. "But tiring," you add, feeling the exhaustion of the long trip settling in.
"How many nights did you perform?"
"Four."
"Jesus, that's quite a lot, isn't it?"
Your eyes meet his; confusion clear in your expression. "You think that's a lot? Didn't you used to do four or five nights in a row of the same play?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. "for months…?
"Yeah, but that was a different kind of exhaustion," he explains, taking another bite. "Performing the way you do in front of a live audience for three hours is a whole different ball game, love."
Love.
There it was again. That godforsaken term of endearment that he seemed to throw around so casually. It made your heart race every time he said it, even though you knew it probably meant nothing to him. But the way he looked at you now, with a hint of admiration in his eyes, made you wonder if maybe—
"Want the last bite?" he offered, taking you out of your thoughts. He pushed the container towards you, a small smile playing on his lips. His gaze was intense, as if silently urging you to take it.
"Oh, hello," a voice exclaimed from behind you, breaking the moment. You drop the spoon on the counter, a little startled. As if you were caught in the act of something forbidden. You turned around to see Yvonne, Cillian's wife. She said your name with a surprised tone, making you feel guilty for some reason. "I didn't know you were here," she continued, her eyes flickering between you and her husband.
You started to rise from your seat, confusion clouding your thoughts. That's weird. Cillian usually lets his wife know when you're visiting, but this time it seems like he didn't. She walked towards you, enveloping you in a hug. "When did you get here?" she said.
"Not long ago," you replied, relieved that she didn't seem upset. "I, uh, wanted to take a break and thought Ireland might be a good place to do that," you added, hoping to diffuse any tension that may have arisen. She nodded understandingly. "And you're staying here?"
"Oh, no, no," you quickly assured her. "I rented a place nearby, so you don't have to worry about me."
"Nonsense," Cillian interjected. "You can stay here. There's plenty of room."
"She's already paid for it, Cillian," Yvonne retorted, giving him a stern look.
Something was definitely off.
This was the last thing you wanted. You've specifically chosen the cottage for two reasons. First, to have space. The whole point of this trip was to finally have peace and write music. You've been stuck for months, not being able to find inspiration in your usual surroundings. Everything felt dull inside you all day—an emptiness that was smothering.
Second, you needed to stay the fuck away from Cillian. Being close to him was dangerous territory, one you didn't want to navigate right now. The plan was to come and visit and occasionally hang out and that's it. The thought of being in such close quarters with him was overwhelming. Staying here meant risking your heart and sanity.
You hesitated, also not wanting to intrude on their space, but Cillian insisted.
"Okay…How about if I stay for a couple of days and then move to the cottage?" you suggested, hoping to compromise. "Sounds perfect to me," he said.
This was going to be a long summer.
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For the next few days, you dream too much, don't write enough, and try to find inspiration everywhere. As you settled into the routine of staying at Cillian's, you found yourself enjoying the peaceful surroundings and his company more than you expected. The days seemed to blend together, filled with laughter, deep conversations, and stolen glances that left your heart racing.
But you also felt constantly distracted by his presence, making it difficult to focus on your writing or anything else, for that matter.
All you could think about was him.
The piano room surrounded you with its warm, inviting atmosphere, and you found yourself drawn to it more often than not. The big windows overlooking the garden let in streams of sunlight, casting a warm glow over the bookshelf. You felt the softness of the carpet as you sat on the grand piano bench, running your fingers along the keys absentmindedly.
You started humming a tune that had been stuck in your head for days, the words appearing softly and effortlessly as you played:
Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
[Hum, Hum, Hum]
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo
The prophecy?
The humming went on whenever you didn't know what to say next, filling in the gaps between the notes on the piano and the lyrics:
A greater woman has faith
[Hum, Hum, Hum]
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight
[Hum, Hum, Hum]
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me
It'll be ok
[Hum, Hum, Hum]
The melody filled the room until you stopped abruptly, frustrated that the lyrics weren't coming as easily as before. You closed your eyes with a groan, trying to clear your mind. "Fuck," you muttered under your breath, elbows resting on the keys of the piano.
"You good?" Cillian's rough voice broke through your frustration, causing you to look up and offer a weak smile. You don't know how long he's been standing there or how much he heard of your struggles. "Just hitting a wall with this song," you admitted, running a hand through your hair.
"Ah, I see," he nodded sympathetically. He moved towards the records stacked on the shelf and pulled one out, placing it on the turntable. "I don't want to mess with your creative process or anything, but maybe a break with some music will help," he suggested.
Radiohead's "Fake Plastic Trees" began to play, taking over the room with its haunting melody.
"So you play one of the saddest songs ever?" you deadpanned, "Thanks."
He chuckled softly, "You were playing some pretty intense stuff; I figured it would fit right in."
Oh, so he did hear you.
"Ah, I know it's different from my usual stuff," you said quietly, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious about your music. "I might scrap that one. They might not be onboard with the change."
"And why's that?"
Thom Yorke's voice faded into the background as you contemplated his question, unsure of how to respond.
You shrugged, "I listen to sad music, not make it."
"I liked what I heard," he reassured you, "and change is good. It keeps things interesting."
His low voice was soothing, and you found yourself feeling more at ease with the idea of trying something new. Pop has been your comfort zone for so long, it's what stands out of you, but most importantly, it's what sells. At least, that's what's important to the industry. Maybe it was time to push yourself out of it.
"I guess you're right," you replied, a faint smile creeping onto your face.
"As always," he said, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. He stood leaning against the table where the record player sat, arms crossed, looking as if he had too many things to say and not enough words for them.
"Would this be a good time to ask you if everything's okay?" you inquired, noticing the weight of unspoken thoughts in his eyes. "With Yvonne, I mean," you added, nervous to bring up the topic.
That first day, when you arrived at the house, you could sense there was something going on between them. Something bad. The tension in the air was so obvious, but you didn't want to pry. However, as the days went by, it became increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that she hadn't been around or the absence of a certain ring on his finger.
"And here, I thought you were never going to ask," he replied, his words laced with sarcasm.
"I was waiting for you to bring it up," your voice trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. "I-I didn't want to overstep."
He studied you for a moment, or at least, you assumed that was what he was doing. Finally, he averted his gaze and cleared his throat,"We've separated."
A cold feeling settled in your chest as you processed his words. The reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks, and suddenly everything made sense. "Cillian," is all you managed to say, the concern evident in your voice.
He still wouldn't look at you. Knowing him, in moments like this, he wouldn't want to be coddled or pitied, so you save your apologies for later.
"What happened?"
He waved his hand dismissively, still avoiding your gaze. "Nothing, really," he said, his tone final. He didn't look upset, but rather resigned to the situation. "It hadn't been working for a long time; we both knew it was coming. I guess we were holding on for the boys more than anything." You could see the sadness in his eyes, despite his attempt to appear nonchalant. The weight of his words hung in the air, leaving you feeling defeated and unsure of what to say next. You don't think there's anything you can say that will make this or him feel better.
And boy, did you wish you could take away his pain with just a few words.
Cillian walked slowly over the piano, stopping in front of it. He streched his arms over the wooden soundboard, gripping the edges tightly as if seeking some sort of solace in the instrument. He finally looked at you.
"Why didn't you say anything, Cill?" you asked softly, "I would've—"
"You would've what?" he interrupted, his voice strained with emotion. "I didn't want to worry you, you have more important things than my marital issues."
You could see the pain in his eyes, and it tore at your heart to see him suffering in silence. "You're my friend. These things are important to me, Cill," you said gently, reaching out to touch his hand in a gesture of comfort. He flinched slightly at your touch, but then relaxed, leaning into your hand.
He didn't say anything, but you knew he appreciated your words. You could tell by the way his shoulders slumped in relief and the way his fingers loosened their grip on the edge of the piano.
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One morning, you woke up to the wind gently rustling through the trees outside your windows. The morning light was clear and clean, leaking through the glass and falling against the walls of the room in soft patterns. It felt too early to be awake, too peaceful to disturb the tranquility of the moment.
You roll over to look at the little clock on the bedside table: 6:20 AM. It wasn't worth trying to go back to sleep, so you threw the covers and climbed out of bed, feeling the cool wood floor beneath your feet as you walked to the bathroom.
You splash cold water on your face and brush your teeth, trying to wake yourself up fully. Holding up your hair, you tie it into a ponytail while walking over the bedside table to grab your phone and airpods. You put one in your ear and hit shuffle on one of your morning playlists. You couldn't function without some music. "Keep On Loving You" by Cigarettes After Sex starts playing.
On your way to the kitchen, you walked by Cillian's room and noticed the door was slightly ajar. Who the hell sleeps with their door open? Psychos, probably. Curiosity getting the best of you, you peeked inside to see him sprawled out on his bed, body illuminated by the soft morning light filtering through the curtains—characteristic warm and cool shades revealing every hollow and speck of bare muscle. He slept with every limb stretched out, a stark contrast to his usual composed demeanor. It was a rare sight, quite poetic.
He looked so peaceful, completely unaware of your presence. So you let your mind wander.
You imagined yourself crossing the room, pulling yourself on top of him. You imagined the way his bare body would look beneath you, his chest rising and falling with each breath, his dark hair messy around his face, his skin warm against yours. His hands—rough and soft at the same time—running over your thigh, your breast, your neck. You could almost feel the heat of his touch, the intensity of his gaze as he looked up at you.
But then reality snapped back into focus.
"Fuck," you muttered under your breath. This was just a fantasy, a dangerous game to play with someone who was somewhat off-limits. But truth be told, the temptation was becoming harder to resist with each passing moment. It was all you could think about ever since he told you about his troubled marriage.
It took a long time for your heartbeat to slow. You headed to the kitchen to get some coffee, hoping that the caffeine would help clear your mind. As you rummage through the cabinets for a mug, his voice startles you from behind. "Need some help with that?" he asks, making you jump.
For a moment you thought you were still imagining things, but you turn around to see him standing there with a t-shirt on as opposed to five minutes ago. Great, him walking around shirtless in his kitchen, sleepy-eyed, messy hair, and rough morning voice would've been lethal.
"I've got it, thanks," you reply, shaking the mug slightly in your hand. You quickly pour yourself some coffee and try to focus on the task at hand: looking for the sugar.
"Sleep well?" he asks, voice still husky from sleep, his accent more prominent. He's rifling through the cabinet for a mug of his own. You can't help but notice the way his muscles flex under his dark t-shirt as he reaches up. You hum in agreement, trying to hide your blush as you take a sip of your coffee. "You?"
"Grand," he replies, pouring himself a cup of coffee and leaning against the counter. You exchange small talk about the upcoming day, but your mind keeps drifting back to how good he looks in the morning light.
"Any plans for today other than locking yourself in the piano room?" he teases, and you shoot him a playful glare. "Maybe I'll actually venture outside for once," you quip, laughing.
"How does the beach sound like?" he asks, "The boys are coming over, and they're bringing some friends, and I thought a trip would be a nice change of scenery."
"I could use some sun," you admit, feeling a smile tug at your lips.
"Let's make it a beach day then," he suggests, setting his mug on the sink. "We leave at 10, piano woman."
"Ha ha, very funny," you say sarcastically, rolling your eyes. "But I'll hold you to it, annoying man," you reply.
"Annoying man?" he repeats, raising an eyebrow. "I thought I was your favorite person."
"Only on days that end in 'y'."
•••
"Are you done with your sad boy music?"
Cillian bursts out laughing, the sound taking you by surprise. He's been playing Radiohead on repeat for the whole car ride, and you were starting to feel like you were in a melancholy music video. "I like their music as much as the next person, but I think I need a break from the sadness," you say.
"Fine, fine," Cillian concedes, reaching for his phone to change the song. The bleak atmosphere in the car lifts as "Linger" by The Cranberries starts playing, filling the space with a more pleasant vibe. Cillian glances at you, he's wearing dark shades that hide his eyes, but you can still see his stoic expression softening as he catches you smiling at the change in music.
"Better?" he asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Instead of answering, you start silently singing along to the lyrics, gesticulating dramatically for added effect. Cillian smiles at your antics, his own lips twitching in amusement as he watches you. The boys were so caught up in their conversation with their friends in the backseat that you were pretty sure they weren't even paying attention to the music or your impromptu performance. With a small smile on your face, you face out the window and enjoy the rest of the car ride in content silence.
When you arrive at your destination, all of you unbuckle your seat belts once Cillian puts the Bronco in park. You all pile out of the car, stretching your legs and taking in the sights around you. You close your eyes for a second and take a breath. The sea air—you loved that smell.
•••
A few hours later, after countless swims and some snacks, you find yourself lying on a beach towel, book in hand, feeling the warmth of the temperature on your skin. You're reading a book you picked up at an airport several months ago by Elin Hilderbrand, or the queen of beach reads, as many call her. You were completely engrossed in the story until you felt Cillian settling down next to you.
His hair was damp from the water, and his skin was slightly glistening. Gosh, he looked absolutely stunning. "Mind if I join you?" he asks.
"Not at all," you reply, closing the book and sitting up. "Having fun?"
"Lots," he says with a smile, reaching over to grab his sunglasses. The two of you sit in comfortable silence. The laughter and chatter of his sons and friends coming from the water redirects your attention back to the beach scene before you. You look back at Cillian, his eyes fixed on his sons.
"They love you, you know," you say softly, watching the genuine joy on his face as he watches his children.
"I don't know if I'm doing it right," he says, eyes still fixed on the boys. "I worry I might've fucked them up by letting my relationship with their mother fall apart."
He continues, "Sometimes I feel they resent me for it."
"Why do you feel that way?"
"I don't know, they just seem distant sometimes. Like they're holding back."
"Hey, that's normal for kids to have mixed feelings about their parents' separation. I was so happy when mine got divorced because it meant no more fighting, but it was also tough to adjust to the changes. It's very conflicting stuff," you say, huffing a small laugh. "Also, they're teenagers now, right? That's a tough age to navigate even without the added stress of divorce."
Cillian nods in agreement, exhaling out a yeah.
You squint against the sunlight beaming behind his head before continuing.
"You're a great dad, you always have been. Just show up and be there for them when they need you, even if they don't always seem to appreciate it. They'll remember it in the long run," you offer, remembering how much your own father's presence meant to you after your parents' divorce. "And I'm not a parent, but what parent feels like they're doing everything right all the time, anyway?"
Cillian turns to look at you. He studies your face for a moment before offering a small smile. "I guess you're right," he says sincerely.
"Fork found in kitchen," you retort, breaking the tension with a bit of humor.
He chuckles, "That's clever."
"Well," you continue, "I've been accused of many things over the years, but being unoriginal isn't one of them."
He laughs. Just like he did back in the car: a genuine, carefree laugh that makes you feel a little lighter.
"Want to go for one last swim, piano woman?"
You roll your eyes. "Will you stop calling me that?"
"Not likely," Cillian replies with a grin. "It's too fitting."
You stand up and stretch. You're wearing a one-piece teal-ish swimsuit that you swear you only chose based on comfort and not because it makes your ass and breasts look fantastic. Cillian's eyes linger on you for a moment before he looks away, and you swear you can see a hint of a blush on his cheeks. He doesn't move.
"Are you coming or…?"
"Right, one last swim," he finally says, standing up and following you towards the water.
Maybe that one last swim wasn't a great idea after all.
And why is that?
Because not even five minutes into the water, you thought it would be a good idea to jump from a high rock, and now you're sitting in the car with your knee scrapped, throbbing in pain, and regretting your impulsive decision.
•••
"You're so fuckin' stubborn."
You try to move into a more comfortable position while ignoring the pain shooting up your leg by pressing a hand against one side of the door to keep yourself steady. "And you're so clearly overreacting."
Cillian pushes his bedroom door open. He's also clearly pissed. The ride back to the house was deathly silent. Well, not silent. His sad boy music made a return, and this time with Broken Social Scene. You couldn't ask him to change the music without starting another argument. Even the kids were quiet, beyond asking several times if you were okay, which you assured them you were. Obviously a lie.
As Cillian walks around the room, you reach for your midi white beachy dress and look down at your knee in horror. It's no longer just a bruise, but a gash that is slowly oozing blood. Not as much as before, but still. It looks nasty underneath the shirt Cillian used from his car as a makeshift bandage.
He grabs the first aid kit from a shelf and turns around to face you.
"Take off your dress."
"Pardon me?"
"Take off your dress so I can properly clean and bandage the wound," Cillian repeats, his expression serious. You look down at the blood-stained fabric as if you needed any more confirmation. "Off, C'mon."
You stiffen at his demand, your body going completely rigid at his bossy tone. You watch him stride into his bathroom. He pushes aside some stuff on the counter and tosses the kit onto the counter.
Okay, yeah. He has good reason to be upset. You had no business jumping from that rock.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he'd said before, right when he went to get you. And now you can see the anger still simmering beneath the surface.
You can hear him shuffle in the bathroom while you remove your dress. You still have your swimsuit on underneath, but you feel exposed without the extra layer. Maybe the pain is catching up to you or the fact that you have upset him or that he's waiting for you in the bathroom to take care of you but tears sting your eyes as you try to process the situation. You take a moment to collect yourself. You cannot go in there like this, he cannot see you this vulnerable. At least, not now.
He's braced against the counter, head hung low, when you push open the bathroom door. You nearly back out to give him some space or time to compose himself, but his eyes meet yours and his expression straightens. He clears his throat and then freezes. "I—you're wearing your swimsuit."
"I am. Were you expecting me to change into something else?"
"No," he grumbles, "I mean, nevermind."
He turns back and starts grabbing sterile gauze, his movements slightly jerky. He gestures for you to sit on the counter. "Up."
"I'm not sure I can do that given my—" Before you're done speaking, he scoops you up and sets you on the counter. Your hands are locked around his neck, and his are firmly gripping your waist. They fit perfectly there, like they're made to hold you close.
He reaches behind him, both your faces close together now, and grabs your wrists, pulling them away from his neck and onto your thighs. He puts a hand on your uninjured leg, his touch gentle yet firm. "This is going to hurt." You stare at his impossible blue eyes and think to yourself: yes, this is going to hurt.
"Oh, shit shit," you gasp, gripping his forearm. "Holy fuuuck."
"I've got you, breathe," he commands, and you allow yourself to focus on his voice, letting it ground you. The antiseptic burns both your nostrils and knee as he continues to clean the wound, the pain shooting through your leg causing you to clench your teeth.
"I'm sorry," you breathe out.
There's nothing but silence in response.
"I told you multiple times not to go up there," he finally says, his voice tinged with frustration. "And yet."
"I know," you whisper, feeling guilty.
"Don't do that again," he commands, his accent thickening with emotion. "You could've hurt yourself even more."
"I know," you repeat, not sure how else to respond.
His head is bowed in concentration as he finishes cleaning the wound, his hands steady despite the anger in his voice. You can see his dark eyelashes fluttering slightly as he works. He applies a little more pressure to the bandage than he should've, and you let out a soft moan. This doesn't go unnoticed by him.
The air in the room seems to shift. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, you see something soften in his gaze before he looks away.
"You're not supposed to like that."
Your cheeks heat up immediately.
He's gotten closer to you, your hands somehow made their way to fist his navy blue linen shirt. His body is between your legs, the delicate material of his pants brushing your skin. His breath is warm against your cheek as he leans in closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I can't say I mind it either." Your heart races at his proximity, unsure of what to do next.
His hands slide up your thighs, gently caressing your skin, sending shivers down your spine. He's going to kiss you, and you can't help but wonder if it's the right decision to let him.
But now is not the time to be rational about it.
"I'm not gonna stop you," you say quietly, "I wouldn't know how."
His eyes darken, pupils dilating with desire. He doesn't move.
It's like you're both aware of the line you're about to cross, so neither of you moves.
You keep your eyes firmly on his face. His lips inch closer to yours, and you feel the heat of his breath on your skin. Your body is angled towards his, hand gripping the edge of the counter. Your slightly damp hair, now cold, making you shiver.
He's impossibly hard against you, the material of his pants is thin, and you're aware of every inch of him pressing against your throbbing core.
"And I wouldn’t know how to stop kissing you," he whispers, his voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. He shifts slightly, causing his erection to press even more firmly against you, both letting out a soft moan. His mouth hovers just inches from yours, just kiss me, you thought.
There's a knock on the bedroom door, which is, by the way, open.
"Dad?" You both freeze.
The bathroom door is slightly ajar, offering a sliver of privacy but not enough to shield you from any potential interruptions.
"Yes?" Cillian calls out, trying to sound casual despite the intense moment that was just interrupted. "We're ordering takeout, do you want anything?"
"No, buddy, we're good, thanks," Cillian replies, his voice strained as he tries to keep his composure. You hear the steps retreating down the hallway.
Cillian steps back, and the absence of his body against yours is jarring. It clearly would've been a mistake to take this further, but a mistake that would've felt so fucking good.
"We shouldn't do this."
He clears his throat. "Yeah."
He moves towards the door, his movements tense and purposeful. "I'm gonna—" he says, motioning the door.
"Yeah," you quickly reply, "I got it."
You watch him leave, the air heavy with unspoken words and unfulfilled desires.
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a/n: thank you for reading! please share your thoughts with me, let me know if you guys enjoyed it :)
part two
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wholoveseggs · 6 months ago
Text
Rules {Part Five}
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18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
Part Five
It was never a good idea, falling in love with the enemy. But how were you supposed to know how it would all end up?
♡♡ THANK YOU so much for all the love for this series!!! I had so much fun reading all your comments and inbox messages. Enjoy! and please don't hate me for the ending...♡♡
10.7k words {sorry not sorry} - Warnings: salvatore!sibling reader, smuttttt, Elijah being the sexiest middle-part menace he can be, secret affair, forbidden romance, KLAUS, a little Katherine cameo, ritual sacrifice, death, murder, pain, pain and more pain...
{Part One} {Part Two}{Part Three} {Part Four}
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♡♡ Tag-List ♡♡
Trying to fix my tags! I re-added all of you, and now you will be posted at the top!
If you no longer wished to be tagged just shoot me a DM {I won't be offended} xoxo~
@gorgeouslydangerous @starkleila @lydia1369sworld @notleylaaa @vampiresluv
@myanmy @xflowerbombxo @maryvibess @always-and-forever-daydreaming @criminallminds @rosemarypotion @spnaquakindgdom @amournoir @meeom @damienmorton @wickedmuse @sunkissedebony97 @idk00sblog @savannaounana @cs-please @complicatedandconfusing-25 @youcanhavemybuckanyday @akala6670229 @yeaiamme2 @itsjulzandmydiamonds @spideysbabe @witch-of-letters @elijahstwink @rosecentury @sekaishell @ziayamikaelson @amanda08319 @starshipcookie @li-da-savage @veggie-eggrolls @spideybv28 @loving-and-dreaming @fancycassie-stayfancy @hcqwxrtss123
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Information, of all things of value in this world, is most precious. Katherine had learned that the hardest of ways.
She had been trying to keep tabs on everyone, especially the Salvatore brothers, who were the cause of her most recent headaches. Dwelling on the irony of that made her skin itch, considering the amount of time she had spent causing them grief.
She was sipping on a glass of bourbon, trying not to think about how her plans were crumbling. She hoped to charm Elijah, get him to protect her like he did last time.
But when he found her, he wasn't the same. He didn't have the same softness about him, the gentleness in his eyes. He was harder, angrier, more ruthless. She supposed that was her fault, she wondered how her life would have turned out had she trusted him...
She didn't regret her choice, she knew it was worth it, she always chose her freedom first, nothing else mattered. 
And she had almost gotten away, if only she had a little more information.
But now, here she was, back under the thumb of the man who had taken everything from her.
Klaus.
"Please, just...kill me. I've told you everything that I know," she pleaded, not sure why she was bothering.
He never showed her mercy, but she couldn't help but hope he would spare her, if not for old times sake.
"You see, I believe that you believe that, but what would you not know? What could they be keeping from you? Hmm? Anything? Tell me." He said, his voice was calm as he compelled her to speak the truth.
"When I was at the Salvatore house, I saw their sister, drugged and unconscious. They were keeping her that way,"she said, her voice trembling, she couldn't control the words that came out.
Klaus smiled, the wheels turning in his mind, "Any theories on why they would do that to her?"
Katherine had an idea, but she had no proof. She had no idea what Damon was up to, but he always had a plan.
"I don't know," she said, shaking her head, she didn't like where this was going.
"C'mon, you have always been a clever little minx," Klaus purred, his hand coming up to caress her cheek, it made her feel sick. 
"The only reason I can think of is to stop her from doing something," Katherine said, her mind racing, thinking back to everything she had seen, and the things she had missed.
Klaus grinned, his hand moving down to her throat, he began squeezing the air out of her.
"You can detect weaknesses like a bloodhound can sniff out a fox, so tell me, sweetheart. Is this your best guess or are you holding something back?" He asked, his fingers tightening.
She struggled, clawing at his arm, desperately trying to loosen his grip. "She's... Loyal to a fault, to those she loves, she tried to kill me in the 1800s for messing with her brothers,"
He raised an eyebrow, his face a mask of amusement, "So you think she's shifted loyalties? To whom?" He let go of her throat, and she collapsed to the ground, coughing and wheezing.
"I don't know... The only other players in town are the wolves... There's no reason for her to side with them..." She paused, her mind racing.
"There's only one other option," she said, her face contorting into a grin.
"Who?" Klaus growled, his patience was growing thin.
"Elijah.”
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You woke in a strange daze, unsure of how much time had passed. You didn't feel rested, in fact, you felt sluggish.
You sighed softly, trying to gather your strength. Your mind was slightly hazy and you felt hungover. Your limbs were not responding to your commands, causing you even more panic.
Your eyes finally opened, adjusting to the light. You were in your own bedroom, laying on your bed, the soft hum of your ceiling fan was the only thing you could hear.
You had a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, you slowly looked around. There was a pile of empty blood bags on your nightstand, a cup full of vervain, and a half-empty bottle of bourbon. It was clear that someone had been here taking care of you and keeping you sedated, judging by the empty bottle it was most likely Damon.
You rolled out of bed, stumbling across the room. Your legs were weak, and you were still groggy. You managed to make it to the door and pull it open.
It was eerily quiet, the ticking clock in the hallway was pounding in your ears. You walked towards the stairs, leaning heavily against the wall, hoping to make it all the way down without falling.
As soon as you made it to the bottom, you were overcome with a wave of nausea and dizziness. You grabbed the banister, closing your eyes, waiting for the spell to pass.
Fuzzy, half formed memories came flooding back to you. Elijah was gone, your brothers had stabbed him, and then they had drugged you, so you couldn't wake him.
You remembered Damon coming into your room, holding a blood bag up to your lips, forcing you to drink.
You remembered Stefan, sitting on the edge of the bed, brushing the hair off your forehead, telling you to sleep.
You remembered Elena, cleaning your face, her voice low and gentle, she had been crying, apologizing.
Someone had carried you outside, then Elena invited you back in. The house was under her name now, a new defense measure added. You wondered who they were trying to keep out, had Klaus finally come to town? Fear suddenly gripped you... Where was everyone?
You slowly made your way to the basement door, taking the steps one at a time, trying to ignore the overwhelming need to puke.
Once you were down in the basement, you looked at Elijah's body, lying in the same position you left him. His clothes were now charred and tattered, the pillow and blanket were gone, probably burned to ash.
You moved closer, collapsing on the floor next to his body. He looked the same, gray, his eyes closed, his hair in disarray. You brushed his hair back, leaning down and kissing his forehead.
"lijah," you whispered, reaching out to hold his hand. "I know we agreed, if anything happens, we would say goodbye and walk away, but I can't, not this time. You're a part of me, I don't think you even realize how much you have come to mean to me."
You looked at the dagger in his chest, weighing the consequences of pulling it out. You didn't know what would happen if he woke up, he could rip you to shreds, or he could pull you into his arms, and hold you until you stopped crying.
There was a fifty-fifty chance he would do the latter, and that was good enough for you. Your fingers curled around the blade and you pulled it out. Then you dropped it onto the floor, letting it land with a metallic thud.
Nothing happened.
Elijah was still.
You leaned down and pressed your ear to his chest, listening.
Nothing.
"Please," you said softly, kissing his cold cheek. "Please wake up."
You returned to laying your head on his chest, your fingers curling in the fabric of his suit.
You closed your eyes, tears running down your face, holding in a breath. Waiting, waiting, waiting…
Suddenly, his heart sprung to life, beating rapidly. You sat up quickly, looking down at him, his eyes were open.
You could hardly believe it, he was looking up at the ceiling, his chest heaving, his mouth open. Then he sat up, gasping for air, looking around the basement wildly.
He was in clear agony, struggling to breathe, he looked at you with anguished eyes, the color returning to his face.
"I can't...I can't be in this house." He rushed to his feet, falling over himself, stumbling his way to the exit.
You limped out of the basement and upstairs, racing after him. The moment he got outside, he collapsed on his knees, taking in deep breaths.
You knelt in front of him, safe behind the threshold of the doorway.
"I'm so sorry," You said, your voice shaking. "I had no idea. They drugged me and I couldn't..."
"Y/n," He interrupted, his eyes finding yours, they were full of pain. "I...need a moment,"
You nodded, holding back tears that were threatening to spill. He looked awful, his clothes were ruined, and his skin was gray and dull. He was clearly starving.
You took the dagger and rolled it past the threshold, it hit his knee and he grabbed it, holding it in his hand. He glared at the blade, then looked up at you.
"Thank you," he said, his expression softening. "So much for rule three,"
"You would have done the same for me," you replied, a hint of a smile on your lips.
He slowly got to his feet, his skin still a bit gray, his face tired and worn. He held his hand out, inviting you to step over the threshold, which you did, allowing him to pull you into his arms.
You closed your eyes, enjoying the embrace, your arms wrapped around his neck, you buried your face into his shoulder.
"This is a bad idea," he said, his voice rumbling in his chest.
"I know," you said, squeezing him tightly.
He didn't respond, simply holding you against him, his breathing steadying.
"Do you want to get out of here?" You asked, looking up at him, a sad expression on his face.
"That is an excellent idea,"
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Your phone would not stop ringing.
You had been ignoring it for the last few hours. Elijah had taken you to a luxury hotel the next town over, far enough from Mystic Falls so you didn't have to worry about anyone showing up unexpectedly.
You were sitting on the bed, eating some room service, watching him try on some suits he had compelled the concierge to bring to the room.
"Who keeps calling?" Elijah asked, looking at you over his shoulder, buttoning a shirt.
"Damon and Stefan," You replied, sighing, "they are probably worried."
"Why haven't you answered?" He asked, frowning.
"Because... I'm mad at them," You admitted, picking at the food on your plate. "After what they did to me,"
"They were protecting themselves, and you," he said softly, putting his suit jacket on, and smoothing it.
You were surprised by him defending them, considering they had literally killed him.
"It doesn't matter, I can't face them right now," you said, shaking your head, "I'll just ignore their calls, it's the best I can do."
A text from Damon popped up on your screen, in full capital letters, it read:
‘WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! ANSWER YOUR PHONE.’
You grumbled and picked your phone up, ready to block him when you got another text. This one was from Stefan:
‘Klaus is in town, in Alaric's body. Please just let us know you are okay,’
Your breath caught in your throat, and you froze, staring at the message.
Elijah had been looking at you and saw your reaction, "What's wrong?"
"I don't know, maybe nothing," you said, showing him your phone, his face darkening when he saw the texts.
He looked at you for a long moment, like he was contemplating his next words very carefully.
"What?" You asked, wondering what was going through his mind.
"We can't do this," he said, shaking his head. "It's too dangerous."
"What?" You said again, standing up and walking over to him.
You placed your hands on his chest, sliding them up to his shoulders. He was avoiding your gaze, but his arms moved around your waist, pulling you against him.
"What's wrong?" You asked, searching his face, but he still wouldn't look at you.
"Rule two, darling," he said softly, pressing his forehead to yours, his hands caressing your back.
"Don't do that," you said, your voice breaking, your chest ached, you were holding back tears. "I don't care about the rules, I just want you,"
"You don't know what you're asking for," he said, his breath hitching, his voice low. "If Klaus finds out about you and I, he will kill you,"
"Why? Why do you want to kill him? Who is he to you?" You asked, wanting answers, your hands curled into fists on his chest.
"I've known him since I was a child, he's my brother," he said, pulling back, so he could look you in the eyes.
You blinked, not believing what he was saying.
"But..." you stammered, not sure what to say.
He swallowed hard and began telling you all about his life. His family, what life was like in the viking age, being turned vampire, learning his mother had been unfaithful, that his beloved brother was a bastard.
"I never saw him any different, none of our siblings did," he said, his voice wavering.
You could tell this was a difficult subject, you squeezed his hand, reminding him that you were there.
"We learned of our mother's infidelity in the worst way possible..." He trailed off, his voice shaking.
"You don't have to," you said, scooting closer, wrapping your arms around him and resting your head on his shoulder.
He leaned his head against yours, his fingers stroking your arm. "I've done many terrible things, but what plagues me the most is what I did to Niklaus,"
"What did you do?" You asked, lifting your head to look at him, his brown eyes were watery.
He shook his head, unable to vocalize it, and you didn't push him. You held him, waiting, knowing it would take time.
He eventually continued, his voice low, filled with shame. "My mother was a powerful witch, she cursed him. She bound his werewolf side, made him weaker, unable to turn. She used the full moon to make it possible to break the curse."
You frowned, thinking over what he was telling you. It didn't make any sense, Klaus was a vampire, not a werewolf.
"I thought..." you said, hesitating. "I thought he was a vampire,"
"He is," Elijah said, nodding, "he's also a werewolf, but that side of him bound,"
He continued his story, explaining how Klaus was different, that he was a hybrid. The first and only of his kind, half vampire, half werewolf.
He told you how Klaus was angry and resentful, and that he had good reason to be. That he and Klaus had spent many centuries trying to break his curse, to free him from his chains.
"So the ritual isn't about werewolves or vampires being freed from their curses," You said, the realization hitting you.
"No, it's not," He admitted, frowning. "It's about my brother,"
You were quiet for a long time, processing all of the information. So Klaus had no intention of freeing the werewolves or the vampires, he just wanted to be free.
"So why do you want to kill him?" You asked, looking at Elijah.
He sighed, rubbing his face, clearly struggling.
"I have other siblings, and he took them from me," He said, his tone was strained, the words catching in his throat. "I've searched for decades, and I can't find them,"
You squeezed his hand, encouraging him to continue.
"I've lost all hope of ever finding them," he said, his jaw clenching, he looked at you with his dark tear filled eyes. "All I have now is my revenge,"
You nodded, understanding where he was coming from. If you lost your brothers, you would burn the world down to avenge them.
"What is the ritual supposed to do?" You asked, curious, wanting to learn more.
"He has to kill a werewolf, a vampire, and a doppelganger. Their blood is necessary for the ritual," he explained, his fingers gently running along your arm. "When it's complete he will be weakened, then I will kill him."
"Elena is innocent... Elijah I'm sorry but you can't let him hurt her," you said, frowning.
He looked away from you, his brow furrowing, "She has to die, but not permanently,"
"What do you mean?" You asked, confused.
"A few centuries ago, there was another doppelganger, I grew some affections for her... I found a way to keep her alive," he said, his tone was flat.
"Katherine," you said, the name leaving a bad taste in your mouth.
He nodded, "I will give Elena the elixir I acquired for Katerina. It will save her,"
You let out a sigh of relief, at least Elena would be safe.
"To kill your brother, it's not an easy thing to do," You said, leaning your head against his. "Are you really prepared for what it means?"
"The full moon is in three days," He said, changing the subject, his expression was grim. "The ritual will happen then,"
"Yes," he said, without a moment of hesitation.
You sat in silence, neither of you knew what to say.
"Sometimes there's honor in revenge," he said, his hand resting on your leg. "And sometimes you just need to put down a rabid dog, no matter how much you once loved him."
"Eli-," You started, but he cut you off with a kiss, his lips crashing against yours.
You melted against him, forgetting what you were about to say. He had this way of silencing you, and it drove you crazy.
"No more talk of the ritual," he said, his fingers gently brushing over your cheek, his eyes gazing into yours. "I want to enjoy the time we have left,"
You didn't know what to say, so you nodded, and he kissed you again.
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Elijah watched you sleep, the sheet barely covering your naked body. His fingers traced patterns along your skin, his touch light as a feather.
He was trying to ignore the dread, the sinking feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach.He needed to plan, to prepare for what he had to do, but the only thing on his mind was you.
He should have known better, he was foolish to have ever gotten involved with you. When he came to Mystic Falls he told himself no weaknesses, no distractions, and yet here you were.
"Stop watching me, it's creepy," you mumbled, rolling over, the sheet falling off of you, revealing your naked form.
"Apologies," he said, unable to help the smirk that tugged at his lips.
"I forgive you, I know I'm irresistible," you said, yawning, stretching, your body arching.
He chuckled, leaning over, kissing you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours, "If I asked you to do something, would you do it?"
You gave him a curious look, your fingers tangling in his hair, "That depends,"
"Would you stay here, and not interfere with the ritual?" He asked, his brow furrowing, his tone was strained.
"Elijah-," You said, sitting up, the sheets pooling around your waist.
"Please," he begged, his eyes softening.
"But Elena-," You tried to protest, but he cut you off with a kiss, his hands cupping your face.
"Your brothers will keep her safe, but if you were involved... I would lose my mind with worry," he admitted, his eyes filled with turmoil.
"I thought this was just physical?" You teased, hoping to ease the tension.
He smiled and shook his head, his thumb caressing your cheek. "I love you," he said it so softly you barely heard it, his voice cracking.
You looked at him, searching his face for any signs of a lie, but there was none. He wasn't lying, he was telling the truth, the sincerity in his words and his eyes was evident.
Your words caught in your throat, a lump forming. You couldn't bring yourself to say it, you wanted to, but it was like there was a block.
You pressed your lips to his, your tongue sliding past his lips, kissing him deeply, trying to pour all of your emotions into it.
He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours, his fingers tracing your jaw, "Say it,"
"I can't," You whispered, your voice wavering.
He tilted your chin up, his dark eyes meeting yours. "I love you miss Salvatore, and it frightens me more than anything ever has,"
"Elijah," you said, cupping his face, your heart aching. "I... I love you too,"
He pulled you into a kiss, his arms wrapping around your waist, lifting you into his lap, your legs wrapping around his torso.
You were panting, the kiss was heated, needy, your fingers digging into his shoulders. You felt his erection against your inner thigh, hard and ready, and you ground against it.
"I love you," you repeated, his hands grabbing your ass, pulling you closer.
"I love you," he replied, his lips attacking your neck, sucking, biting, marking you as his.
You reached down, wrapping your fingers around his length, sliding your hand along his shaft, positioning him at your entrance.
You lowered yourself down, desperately needing to feel connected to him, his fingers dug into your hips as you sat fully in his lap, taking him deep inside of you.
He moaned, his eyes closing, his head tilting back, you leaned forward and kissed his neck, your fangs scraping along his skin.
You rolled your hips, slowly, taking him in and out of you, his breath hitching with each movement. You grinned against his skin, loving how you were making him react.
"That's it, take what you need," he said, his hand coming up to cup the back of your head, keeping you close to him.
"I love you," you breathed, your voice a soft whimper, as you sunk your fangs into his neck.
His blood flooded your mouth, warm and sweet, and you sucked, feeling his pulse beating against your lips. He tasted like pure power, it was unlike anything you had ever experienced.
He moaned, his fingers tangling in your hair, gripping it tight. You were riding him, moving your hips in a fluid motion, grinding down onto him, feeling his cock hit that perfect spot deep inside.
You pulled back, his blood dripping from your lips, his hands were on your ass, guiding your hips. He kissed you, biting down on your bottom lip and tasting you. Your blood mixing together, it was the most erotic thing you had ever done.
"That's my girl," he whispered, his voice ragged, his eyes dark with lust. "So beautiful, and mine,"
"Yes, all yours," you moaned, grinding down harder onto him.
You felt his hand moving between your ass cheeks, his finger finding your puckered hole, slowly pressing into you.
You gasped, your eyes fluttering closed, it felt so good, him inside of you like this.
"I want you to cum for me, my sweet little love," he said, his voice soft and gentle, his finger moving deeper.
You moaned, clutching at his chest, your nails raking along his skin, drawing blood. The combination of him filling you, his finger, and the taste of his blood in your mouth sent you over the edge.
You let out a long, low moan, against his lips, your walls clenching around him, milking him for everything he had.
He grunted, his eyes fluttering closed, he bit his lip, trying to muffle his moans, and he came deep inside of you.
Your body was trembling, his arms wrapped around you, holding you close to him.
You pressed your face into the crook of his neck, his skin slick with sweat, the smell of sex and blood hung heavy in the air.
You pulled back and kissed him, his hand cupping the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair.
"After this is all over, will you come with me?" He asked, his hand stroking your cheek.
"Where would we go?" You asked, smiling.
"Anywhere, preferably somewhere with a beach and sunshine," he replied, his fingers running through your hair.
"It's a date," you said, nuzzling his neck, breathing in his scent.
"A date?" He chuckled, his fingers tickling your sides, you giggled and squirmed away from him. "That's new for us,"
You grinned, looking down at him. "I like the sound of it,"
"As do I," he agreed, his hand stroking your cheek.
"When I first met you, I never would've thought we'd end up here," you mused, running your fingers along his jaw.
"Neither did I," he admitted, his lips turning up into a small smile.
"So, tell me about this beach trip, what would we do?" You asked, wanting to keep him talking, not wanting to leave his side.
"Hmmm," he said, thinking for a moment. "I would find us a quiet little bungalow, right on the water, with a private stretch of sand for us,"
You closed your eyes, listening to the smooth timber of his voice, imagining the soft waves and fresh ocean air.
"And we'd have our meals brought in by servants, we'd lounge on the beach, swim, and make love whenever the mood struck us," he said, his fingers dancing across your back.
"I could live with that," you said, sighing contently, enjoying his warmth.
"I'm glad," he said, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours, a soft, gentle kiss.
You broke the kiss and stared into his dark eyes, his thumb brushing across your bottom lip.
"If anything happens to me I want you to know, I don't regret a single second of it," he said, his voice soft.
"What?" You asked, giving him a worried look.
"You need to know, in case I fail, and my brother ends me before I can end him," he said, his face serious, his eyes clouded with fear.
"Elijah-," you started to protest, but he cut you off.
"Promise me," he said, his voice pleading. "If this ends badly, you will remember rule three,"
"I thought we had given up on the rules," you said, trying not to let him see how afraid you were.
"Not this one," he said, his voice cracking.
"Why? You can't seriously expect me to-"
"Please," he said, his dark eyes locked on yours. "For me,"
You sighed and nodded, leaning into him, his arms wrapping around you.
"Thank you," he whispered, his fingers stroking your back, his lips brushing against your hair.
"Just come back to me," you said, trying not to cry.
"Always,”
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The problem, Damon: you talk a good game but you don't actually know anything. She'll never forgive you. And never for a vampire...It's a very long time.
Elijah's words had been echoing around in Damon's head since that morning, the smugness in the older vampire's voice made him want to put his fist through the wall.
He had made a mess of things, but he couldn't admit that to anyone. The feeling he had when he learned that today was the day of the sacrifice, the day that he would lose Elena... He simply couldn't handle it. His desire for action was overwhelming.
He didn't like everything being out of his control, so he did what he had to do. And now his brother and Elena hated him. Elijah being right was the cherry on top of his shit sundae. 
In times like this, when he hit rock bottom then fell a little further, he turned to his oldest friend, his closest confidant, his beloved sister. 
But you weren't picking up the phone, despite Elijah's assurances you were alive and somewhere safe, it didn't soothe his worries.
So he tried one last time, and this time you actually picked up, and his heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he heard your voice.
"If you are calling to lecture me on love, I will remind you that you are no better," your voice made his throat constrict.
"I know, I'm not," he said, his voice sounding strange to his own ears.
"Are you okay?" You asked, a little softer.
"No," he answered, his voice shaking.
"What happened?" You asked, concern creeping into your tone.
"Everything's gone to hell," he replied, his voice strained. "I gave Elena my blood... Well actually I made her drink my blood,"
"Oh Damon..."
"I had no other choice,"
"She's going to hate you,"
"I know, Elijah told me,"
"Damon... He's right,"
"I know that too,"
There was a silence on the other end of the phone, he could hear you moving around, like you were packing a bag.
"I'm on my way," you said, finally. "Partly to kick your ass, partly to give you a hug,"
"Always the multitasker," he joked, his voice cracking. "But do not come home tonight, I just need to know you are safe,"
"I'll do what I want," you said, and he could almost see the pout on your lips.
He smiled, he had missed your stubbornness, and it was the closest thing to normal he had felt all day. But he couldn't risk you being involved, everyone was already in the crossfire, and the thought of you being added to that mix was too much for him to bear.
"Sister," he said, his voice firm. "Please, please, listen to me, just this once, and stay away,"
You let out a long, irritated sigh, "I'm so bored, and I'm getting hungry,"
"Well then go find someone nice to eat and watch a movie," he suggested, chuckling.
"I can't concentrate, not when everyone I love is in danger," you grumbled.
"Does that love extend to Elijah?" He asked, trying to keep his voice even.
"Yes," you said simply, and his heart ached.
He had known, of course, but hearing you say it aloud made it real.
"Why him? Like seriously..." Damon asked, he was genuinely curious, and he needed something to distract him from the shit show he had gotten himself into. "How did you even meet him?"
"I was hunting," you answered, sounding amused. "He found my methods to be entertaining, and I found him to be a challenge,"
"Did you know who he was? What he planned for Elena?" Damon asked, trying not to sound judgemental.
"Yes, I knew who he was. But we had rules, to keep things from getting complicated," you explained.
"That didn't really work out did it?" He teased, smiling.
"No," you admitted, laughing.
There was a long pause, and he could feel his emotions starting to get the best of him.
"Damon, promise me you won't die for her?" You asked, your voice wavering.
"You know I can't do that," he said, his voice low.
"I know," you whispered. "Just please, try to survive this,"
"I'll do my best," he promised, knowing he couldn't really promise anything.
"I love you big brother," you said, and his eyes started to water. "Tell Stefan I love him too,"
"I will, I love you too," he choked out, and he heard the line go dead.
Damon stared at his phone, the picture of you, him and Stefan was staring back at him, his heart aching.
"I hope I see you tomorrow, little sis,"
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The town you were hiding out in was quiet and a little boring, but you didn't mind. It was the first time in a long time you had had a few days to yourself, no drama, no life or death situations. Just perfect mundanity.
You were lounging in a café, enjoying a cup of coffee, and watching the locals, wondering what their lives were like. You envied them, their simplicity, their happiness. You imagined you and Elijah in a little house, in a place like this, with a garden and a view of the ocean.
You were lost in your own world, dreaming about the impossible, when someone cleared their throat. You looked up, a smile playing at your lips. Dinner had just arrived. 
He was handsome, with curly hair and blue eyes, he had a sharp wicked glint in his eyes that sent a thrill through you. You always enjoyed a good meal with a bit of bite.
"Mind if I sit?" He asked, grinning.
"Not at all," you purred, gesturing to the chair.
He sat, and ordered a coffee, and he turned his attention back to you.
"I don't mean to be so forward, but you are downright striking," he said, his gaze running over your body.
"Thank you," you said, giving him a flirty smile. "It's a bit of a family trait,"
"Is that so? Mine as well, if you can't tell," he said, smiling.
You laughed, enjoying his company.
"You aren't from around here," he observed, sipping his coffee.
"Neither are you," you said, tilting your head.
"I'm just visiting, on vacation," he replied, grinning.
"Same,"
He was charming, and handsome, and you could feel the hunger starting to rise within you.
"I'm staying at the Inn down the street," he said, giving you a hopeful look.
"I'm staying there as well,"
"Well then, may I escort you home?"
"You may,"
The walk back to the Inn was short, you enjoyed his company, he was easy to talk to, and funny.
"Would you like a nightcap?" He asked, flashing you a crooked smile.
"That would be lovely," you said, grinning.
His hand came to rest on the small of your back, guiding you into the room. You usually enjoyed playing with your food a little before you ate, but you were committed to Elijah now, and you didn't want to stray.
As soon as you entered his room, he pinned you to the wall, moving in to kiss you. You politely dodged by pressing your lips to his neck, breathing him in.
"You are a vision," he said, his hand sliding up your arm, and into your hair.
"Thank you," you murmured, your fangs grazing his skin, his pulse racing beneath your lips.
He moaned, and gripped your waist, pressing his hips against yours. You could feel him, hard against your thigh, and you went to bite down.
Suddenly, he pulled your head back by your hair, hard. With strength you hadn't expected, he forced you back, pushing you hard into the wall, the plaster cracking behind you.
"I see why my brother is so taken," he growled, his eyes darkening.
Your heart dropped into your stomach, "Klaus,"
"The one and only, love," he said, smirking.
You tried to pull away, but his grip on you was too strong.
"Don't worry, love," he purred, his hand stroking your cheek. "I won't hurt you,"
"Fuck you," you said, glaring at him.
He smirked, and kissed you, hard, his teeth cutting into your lips.
"You're a feisty little thing," he said, licking his lips. "Even wilder than your brothers,"
You hissed and tried to struggle, his hands tightening around your arms, digging into your skin. "If you hurt them..."
"Now, now," he said, tutting. "Let's not make threats, especially when you can't back them up,"
You bared your fangs at him, but he only grinned.
"I've been wanting to meet you," he said, his thumb brushing across your cheek. "Elijah's little distraction,"
"I'm more than a distraction," you growled, struggling against his hold.
"Hmmm," he hummed, leaning in and nuzzling your neck. "I know,"
You were too frightened to speak, your whole body trembling.
"It's what I'm counting on dear,"
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Klaus had been dragging you through the woods for what felt like hours.
Your fear had turned into anger and you began to try and fight him. It seemed to amuse him for a while, he'd let you run only to catch you with ease.
"Why are you doing this?" You growled, his hand holding your arm tightly, leading you through the trees.
"To be reborn, as I truly am," he said, his expression thoughtful.
You rolled your eyes and let out an annoyed sigh, he was a narcissist, the kind of man who enjoyed the sound of his own voice.
"Do you know how long I've waited for this?" He asked, looking down at you. "One thousand years,"
 "I know," you sighed.
"Of course you do," he said, smirking. "Elijah loves to spill his heart out after a good bedding doesn't he?"
You didn't answer him, he was trying to get under your skin, and it was working.
"My brother has always been the strong, self righteous type, with an unbreakable moral code," Klaus chuckled, picking up his pace, dragging you along. "That is... Until he gets his face between a pretty pair of legs,"
"Fuck you," you spat, anger boiling up inside of you.
"You have a smart mouth," he said, his fingers squeezing your arm. "I think I'll like to see how you use it later,"
You freed yourself from his grip and slapped him hard across the face. No man was allowed to speak to you in that way, and you certainly weren't going to tolerate it from this monster.
His expression changed from amusement to anger in the blink of an eye. He slammed you against a nearby tree, the twigs and branches impaling you.
You cried out, blood pouring from the puncture wounds, and he grabbed a fistful of your hair, forcing you to look him in the eye.
 "That was very, very stupid,"
His words sent a chill down your spine, and a fresh wave of fear washed over you.
"What's the matter?" He asked, his tone taunting. "No more choice words and acts of violence for me?"
"Don't kill me," you said, tears starting to run down your cheeks.
"I won't," he assured you, his lips brushing against yours. "But I will kill everyone in Mystic Falls if you don't do what I say. If you don't believe me... Just ask sweet little Katerina about it,"
Your blood ran cold, you knew what he was capable of, and you had no choice but to obey him.
Through the trees you could see a circle of fire, and you felt dread sink into the pit of your stomach.
"No," you pleaded, trying to pull away.
"Stop being so dramatic, love," he said, rolling his eyes.
He pulled you into the clearing, throwing you down on the ground next to the three women sitting in their own rings of fire.
You could see Elena, a terrified look on her face, along with her aunt Jenna and a woman you didn't recognize.
"Hello my lovelies," Klaus said, grinning. "Are we all ready?"
He gave you a swift kick, then grabbed you by the hair and pulled you to your feet. "I brought an assistant with me,"
He pushed you forward, leaving you to stand there as he walked to the altar, handing the moonstone to a witch standing nearby.
You looked at Elena and Jenna, they were beyond scared, their eyes full of tears, and you felt your stomach twist, you didn't know how to help them.
The witch had begun to chant, a mixture of Latin and something else, the moonstone began to spark, then it exploded into nothing.
"Bring me the wolf," Klaus demanded, looking at you with a wild, manic look in his eyes.
You shook your head, your whole body trembling, you refused to let him hurt someone else.
"It's either them or the entire town, love. That includes your brothers," he growled, his jaw clenched.
The thought of losing Stefan and Damon made your stomach clench, and tears started to run down your face.
"Bring her. Now," he growled, his tone brokering no argument.
You walked towards the first ring of fire, to the terrified woman who was writhing in pain, her cries echoing through the trees.
The ring disappeared as you approached, and you lifted the girl into your arms. She was whimpering and shaking, the transition having begun.
"I'm so sorry," you whispered, carrying her to the altar.
"Good girl," Klaus hummed, taking the wolf from your arms, and laying her on the stone.
Klaus kneeled over her, looking down at her with an evil grin, his eyes were filled with a mix of desire and madness, and he plunged his hand into her chest, ripping her heart out.
Jenna and Elena screamed, watching Klaus hold up the wolf's heart, his expression triumphant.
"I'll make it quick, I promise," Klaus said, grinning. "They will barely feel a thing,"
You looked over at Elena and Jenna, their screams piercing the air, the witches chanting growing louder.
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Elijah was looking up at the night sky, watching the moon slowly make its way across, his thoughts on you. He couldn't stop thinking about your smile, and the way your eyes lit up whenever you saw him.
If tonight went smoothly, he had so many plans with you, the first was taking you to Paris, a city that was sure to dazzle you. After that he would whisk you away to Rome, where you could visit the many art museums and eat all the food you wanted.
He wanted to spoil you, shower you with everything you could ever want, and then some. It had been nearly sixty years of searching for his brother, trying to uncover the rest of his family. He felt like tonight was the first chance he had to truly mourn, then he could finally move on and spend the rest of his time with you. 
He had spoken with Stefan earlier, before he left with Bonnie to go stop Klaus. He liked Stefan, he was an honorable man who respected the choices of the ones he loved, even if he didn't agree with them.
Elijah hoped he and Stefan could be friends one day, once everything settled down, he knew that would make you happy. To see peace between him and your brothers. Damon would be a more difficult task, he reminded him of Klaus, cocky and impulsive, and that was a difficult combination.
The waiting was beginning to make him antsy. He had to wait for the right moment to strike, but there were so many factors outside of his control, he didn't like the feeling. He needed to distract himself, keep his mind from wandering too far.
He thought about his siblings, of sweet Rebekah, wild Kol, and serious Finn. What would they think of him killing Klaus? He wished he could have saved them, he wanted so badly to see them again.
He let out a long sigh, steeling himself for what he had to do. Klaus was no longer his brother, he had been twisted into a monster, and he had to be put down.
It was time, he could see the moon hanging high above him, it was time to end this. 
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You watched Klaus squeeze the wolf's heart over the altar, the blood dripping into the fire, igniting it.
"Next, the vampire," he said, grinning.
You stood, frozen, watching him, as a wave of guilt crashed over you.
"Bring me Jenna, go on,"
You shook your head, tears stinging your eyes.
"No," you said in the smallest voice. 
You could hear Jenna and Elena, talking to each other, they were saying their goodbyes and it broke your heart.
Klaus turned, and walked over to you, his eyes were dark and cold, and his jaw was clenched.
"Are you offering yourself in her place then?" He growled, his hand coming up to grab your chin.
You didn't answer him, you were staring over his shoulder at Jenna and Elena.
"I'll take that as a yes,"
You let him drag you to the altar, and push you down onto the cold stone, he forced you to kneel. You didn't fight him, you had lived for many decades longer than sweet Jenna and Elena, the old should always give their lives for the young.
Klaus let out a hearty chuckle and kicked you over, his hand gripping your hair.
"I don't recall you being on the guest list," Klaus yelled, looking into the dark forest. 
You heard the sound of footsteps as someone approached, it was Stefan. His expression was calm, but his eyes were furious.
"What can I do for you, Mr. Salvatore?" Klaus asked, amused.
Stefan looked at you, a concerned look on his face.
"Well, I figured you could start by letting my sister go," Stefan said, his voice firm.
"Hmm," Klaus said, looking down at you. "I don't think I will, she's quite the little spitfire, and I rather enjoy her company,"
"Let her go, I'll take her place," Stefan offered, taking a step forward.
"That's quite noble of you," Klaus said, smiling. "But, I think I'd prefer my original plan. I rather appreciate the symmetry of three women...Three goddesses sacrificed at nature's altar."
He grabbed both you and Stefan and dragged you towards the rings of fire. Throwing you both down next to Elena and Jenna. 
"Quite the predicament. You know, it's funny, all this talk about preserving family, and here's Stefan, granting your wish," Klaus said to Elena, smiling.
Stefan and Elena were looking at each other, a silent conversation passing between them.
"Oh, don't look so glum," Klaus said, looking between the two. "There's actually no choice,"
Klaus took a stake and plunged it into Stefan's spine, causing him to yell in pain, unable to move.
You and Elena both screamed, you got to your feet to strike Klaus, but he grabbed you by the throat, squeezing hard.
"Let them go," Elena pleaded, tears running down her cheeks. "I understand that I have to die, but they don't,"
Klaus ignored her and looked into your eyes, his hand tightening around your neck.
"Bring Jenna to the altar, or I'll kill Stefan," he growled, his fingers digging into your skin.
You nodded, tears welling in your eyes, you couldn't lose Stefan.
"Please," you whispered, your hands clawing at his.
He let you go, then walked back to the altar.
"Bring her, now," he ordered, pointing at the ring of fire surrounding Jenna.
You stood, walking slowly over to the fire, the ring disappeared and Jenna looked up at you with tear filled eyes. She looked so afraid, so helpless.
"I'm so sorry," you said, your voice breaking, as you helped her to her feet.
You walked her over to the altar, Klaus waiting patiently.
"Jenna, I'm so sorry," you whispered, your hand brushing the hair from her face.
She was sobbing, her body shaking, and you held her close, stroking her hair.
"Please Klaus, just use me instead, she's innocent," you begged, tears running down your face.
"You Salvatore's are so predictable," Klaus sighed, rolling his eyes.
Klaus walked over, and pulled Jenna from your arms, he threw her down onto the altar. Everything seemed to blur, you could hear Elena screaming, the chants of the witch, the cracking of the fire. You saw Stefan reaching out to Elena through the flames, and then, it was quiet.
Klaus plunged a stake into her heart, Elena's wails were all you could hear. Jenna's lifeless body was lying on the altar, her face frozen in fear. You had brought her to her slaughter. You had killed her.
"Such a wonderful assistant," Klaus cooed, he grabbed your chin, his bloody fingers digging into your skin. "Be a good girl and bring me the doppelganger,"
You looked into his cold eyes, his mouth twisted into a smirk.
"Now," he growled.
You nodded, then walked over to Elena, tears were running down her cheeks, but she put on a brave face as the last ring of fire disappeared.
"Elena," you whispered, tears welling in your eyes, your whole body was shaking. "I'm so, so sorry,"
"Don't," she said, her voice shaky. "It's not your fault. It's nice to have a friend here at the end,"
She held your hand as you helped her walk over to Klaus. You looked at Stefan, he was struggling to free himself, his eyes filled with worry.
"Elena," Stefan called, his voice breaking.
"It's okay, Stefan," she said, her grip on your hand tightening. "I'm ready,"
You helped her up onto the altar, and Klaus looked down at her with hungry eyes.
"Thank you Elena," he said softly, pulling her against him and moving her hair away from her neck.
"Go to hell," she said, her voice strong.
He chuckled and sank his fangs into her neck.
Elena didn't fight, she let death take her, her grip loosening on your hand, as her last breath left her.
You were shaking, the sound of Klaus drinking from her filling the silence. You had lost two friends today, and the world was suddenly a lot emptier.
When the last bit of blood left her body, Klaus dropped her to the ground and the fire in the altar went out.
You knelt next to her, brushing her hair away from her face, then you looked back at Stefan who was writhing in pain, crying at the loss of Elena.
Klaus staggered a bit, the full moon peeking out from the trees. He groaned, and started to change, his bones cracking as he stumbled forward, his expression a mask of pure bliss.
"It's happening," he moaned, his eyes turned gold, and he was overcome with pleasure. "I can feel it,"
You couldn't stand this any long, all this pain and death. You needed it to end.
You moved down the steps towards him, grabbing a branch off a nearby tree, snapping it in half.
"Come on, sweetheart," he taunted, turning to look at you, his eyes shining. "I'm indestructible,"
"I don't care," you snarled, lunging for him. "You still feel pain,"
You charged at him, striking him across the face, your rage blinding you, making you miss his fist, as it collided with your stomach.
The blow threw you across the clearing, and you landed on your back, the air leaving your lungs, the branch now lodged in your side. 
You saw Damon come running out of the woods, he first looked to Elena, then to Stefan, but when he laid eyes on you, he ran to your side.
"No, no, no, no," he said, his eyes filled with panic, he pulled the wood from your side. "You're not supposed to be here,"
You could hear the concern in his voice, and you smiled up at him, cupping his face. He helped you to your feet, your wounds healing, then he pushed you behind him.
"Damon," you said softly, trying to stop him.
"Bonnie is here, it's okay, let me handle this," he said, his tone stern.
Klaus was standing there, laughing maniacally, a mad grin on his face, then his body began to shake and he fell to the ground.
Suddenly his laughter turned to screams, as Bonnie came striding out of the trees, chanting a spell, she raised her hand, causing Klaus to scream in agony. The fire returned to the altar and spread into the trees, her magic all around them as she channeled every ounce of power she possessed, bringing the hybrid to his knees.
Then she choked on her words, gasping for air, looking around for the source.
"Get the witch!" Stefan yelled, pointing to Klaus' witch, still standing at the altar, her hand outstretched.
Bonnie raised her hands, trying to focus her power, but she was struggling, and you could see the strain on her face.
The witch threw Bonnie into the air, knocking her out, her body hitting the ground.
Damon ran for the witch, and tackled her, his teeth sinking into her neck. He killed her instantly, her body going limp in his arms.
The fire disappeared, the flames extinguishing, the magic disappearing. A deadly quiet settling over everything.
Suddenly, you felt a hand in your hair, dragging you backwards, the pain making you scream.
"Elijah!" Klaus roared into the woods, "I know you are out there, show yourself!"
You saw Elijah walk out of the trees, and into the clearing, his expression unreadable, but his eyes were locked on yours.
Klaus's fingers dug into your scalp, and he pulled harder, forcing you to your knees between them.
"What a sight," Klaus mocked, grinning at Elijah.
"Hello, brother," Elijah said, his eyes still locked on yours.
"You've come to kill me?" Klaus said, chuckling. "How is that working out for you?"
He pulled you back to your feet, your whole body trembling.
"Actually, I've come to make you an offer," Elijah said, taking a step closer, his hands clasped behind his back.
"Oh," Klaus said, amused. "An offer, I wonder what that might be,"
"Spare them, and I will pledge my loyalty to you," Elijah said, his voice soft, his eyes never leaving yours.
"You're lying," Klaus growled, his hand wrapping around your throat, his fangs grazing your skin. "You're only offering yourself, so I won't kill her. That's not true loyalty,"
You saw Damon lift Elena's body into his arms, carrying her to Stefan. Then he pulled the stake out of Stefan's back, allowing him to move again.
"Elijah," Stefan called, his voice shaky. "You need to finish this,"
"I can't," he said, shaking his head. "Klaus will kill her,"
Damon rushed to Bonnie's side, trying to wake her up, and Klaus laughed, his lips pressed against your ear.
"Run to your love, if you make it I'll let you live," he whispered, shoving you forward.
You stumbled, your legs barely able to support you, then you started running towards Elijah, tears streaming down your face.
You made it to him, and his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight, he was murmuring soft words into your ear, his breath tickling your skin. And you finally felt safe again.
"Are you okay?" He asked, pulling away to look at you, his fingers brushing the hair from your face.
"Yes," you said softly, your hand gripping his jacket.
You were staring up at him, his brown eyes were warm and full of worry, and you had forgotten how much you missed him.
"Good," he murmured, pressing his forehead against yours.
Your lips met his at the same time you felt something strange in your back. An odd pressure that made you gasp into his mouth.
You pulled away from Elijah, there was a strange look on his face, his mouth falling open, and he looked down at you, a look of pure terror in his eyes.
For the first time in centuries, you felt cold, the world was spinning around you. You knew what was happening, 
Your hand pressed against his chest, you could feel his heart beating against your palm. You looked up into his brown eyes one last time.
"Rule three, my love," you whispered, before your life faded away, and your body fell against him.
Elijah looked down at you, your skin rapidly turning gray, your eyes vacant. Then he looked up at Klaus, who held your heart in his hands.
"This is for betraying me," Klaus said, dropping the organ at his feet, the blood running down the stone steps.
Elijah stood there, his arms wrapped around your lifeless body, his whole world was crumbling.
He could hear Stefan and Damon screaming, but it sounded far away, the own beating of his heart drowning out the rest.
Klaus grabbed Elijah by the neck, forcing him to drop your body, and shoved him to the ground.
"Look at her, the way she's staring up at the stars, it's quite beautiful, isn't it?" Klaus mocked, as Elijah watched you, lifeless on the cold stone. "And it's all because of you,"
Elijah looked away, a tear falling down his cheek, his brother's words cutting into him.
"You're pathetic," Klaus hissed, his hands gripping Elijah's jacket, your blood staining the fabric. "To think you could beat me,"
Elijah closed his eyes, trying to block out his brother's words, but it was no use, his mind was replaying every moment with you. Knowing he would never taste your lips again, or hear your laugh. You would never fall asleep in his arms.
He looked over at Damon, who had rushed to your body. He was holding you, rocking you back and forth in his arms, with Stefan by his side, his face stained with tears, a look of anguish on his face.
Elijah's world was fading away, as he was overcome with rage and anguish, a darkness consuming him, and Klaus just kept talking, his voice becoming more and more distant. 
Then something within him snapped, a creature that was lurking underneath his skin came bursting through, a monster taking the place of the gentleman.
He turned his attention back to his brother, and Klaus froze, the fear clear in his eyes.
Damon watched as Elijah pushed Klaus backwards, causing him to fly across the clearing, skidding along the dirt, landing a few feet away.
Elijah walked in a slow, deliberate pace towards Klaus , his expression devoid of any emotion.
"You're right, Klaus," Elijah said, a cold smile spreading across his face. "We are not the same,"
Klaus tried to stand, but Elijah shoved him back down, he grabbed Klaus leg and twisted it until it snapped. Klaus howled in agony, and Elijah smiled, twisting the other leg, and his brother's screams were echoing through the night.
"You want to be a beast?" Elijah growled, pulling Klaus into the air by his neck, his hands wrapped around his throat. "Let me help you,"
Damon felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, and Bonnie was standing there, her eyes full of sorrow.
"Damon," she whispered, tears running down her face.
"Go, help Elijah," he said, his voice hollow. "I'll stay here with her,"
Bonnie nodded, she stood up, her body trembling. Stefan jumped to his feet to help her stay upright, and she began to chant once more. 
The altar burst into flames for a third time, illuminating Klaus and Elijah in a ring of fire as they struggled against each other.
"What is this?" Klaus yelled, pushing Elijah away, trying to fight the pain. "What have you done?"
"Something that should have been done centuries ago," Elijah growled, rushing towards his brother, knocking him down, pinning him to the dirt, his hand raised.
"In the name of our family, Niklaus...," Elijah said, plunging his hand into his brother's chest, curing his fingers around Klaus's heart. "In the name of her..."
"I didn't bury them at sea!" Klaus yelled, his hand trying to pry Elijah's away. "They are safe, I swear,"
Elijah looked at him, a flicker of hope in his eyes.
"I can take you to them," Klaus pleaded, his hands gripping Elijah's wrist. “Their bodies are safe. If you kill me, you'll never find them,”
"Elijah, don't listen to him," Stefan yelled, walking towards them.
"Brother, please," Klaus begged. "She wouldn't want this, please,"
Your beautiful face flashed through Elijah's mind, and he looked back at Damon, who was kneeling there, tears in his eyes, clutching your body.
"You're wrong, Klaus," Elijah growled, his hand squeezing the organ in his grip. "She would want this,"
Then he tore Klaus's heart from his chest, and watched the life fade from his brother's eyes.
Klaus's body dropped to the ground, his heart still beating in Elijah's hand, and the flames died down, leaving the clearing in silence. 
Bonnie walked up to him, looking down at the flames. 
"Good," She said, her voice hoarse.
Elijah looked back at Stefan and Damon, they were kneeling next to your body, Stefan's hand caressing your cheek. 
Elijah rushed over to you, looking down at your peaceful face, you almost looked like you were sleeping.
Elijah brushed the hair from your face, his hands were shaking. He couldn't understand how something so beautiful could be snuffed out so easily.
"Don't touch her," Damon said, pulling you away from Elijah.
"You did this," Damon snapped, glaring at Elijah. "It's your fault she's dead,"
Elijah nodded and stepped away, Damon was right, it was his fault.
"Damon," Stefan said, reaching for his brother.
"No, he has to answer for this," Damon said, getting to his feet, your body in his arms.
"It's over Damon," Bonnie said softly, looking up at him. "It's over,"
Damon looked down at you, and tears started to stream down his cheeks. He was shaking, and Stefan reached for him, the two of them clinging to each other, your body between them.
"I think it's best you leave," Bonnie said, her eyes filled with sadness. "Please, go,"
Elijah nodded, his heart breaking as he looked down at your lifeless form, knowing this was his fault.
"Where will you go?" Stefan asked, as he wiped his eyes.
"I need to find my siblings," he said softly, looking away from the sight. "With Klaus dead, everyone he compelled will be free, I'll follow the clues they left behind,"
He looked back at you, and his heart shattered.
"Will you be okay?" Stefan asked, his hand on Elijah's shoulder.
"One day," he replied, turning to look at him, a small smile on his face.
"Thank you," Stefan said softly.
Elijah gave them a small nod, then disappeared into the trees, heading far away from Mystic Falls. His heart forever bound to yours. 
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~Epilogue
Time changes all things, this was something Damon had the basics of understanding, but nothing could prepare him for how it would affect him when he became human again.
He was an old man, something he never expected to experience, and yet there he was.
"Are you ready?" Elena asked, her hand on his arm.
"Always," he answered, his voice weak, but his smile was genuine.
She leaned in and kissed his cheek, her eyes still as bright and beautiful as the day he met her.
The walk to the Salvatore family crypt was slow, and the pain in his joints was unbearable. He hated getting old.
They entered the stone building, and Damon let go of Elena's arm, making his way over to your stone. He placed his hand on it, the smoothness soothing his calloused hand.
"Hi sis," he said, smiling down at the stone. "It's been a while, i've been so busy,"
He took a seat in the chair next to your grave, he had brought it decades ago. He was a man who liked his comfort, and he spent hours talking to you, catching you up on everything that had happened since the last time he was there.
"I have grandkids now! Can you believe it? They are the cutest, I even named a boy after you, well, the closest we could come, but, yeah," he said, a wide grin on his face.
Damon looked over at Elena, who was laying flowers at Stefan's grave. She was the only one left, and he was so grateful for her.
"I miss you and Stefan so much," Damon said softly. "But it won't be long now until I see you again,"
There was an awkward cough and Damon looked up to see a delivery boy standing in the doorway, looking uncomfortable.
"I have a delivery for Miss Y/n Salvatore," he said, walking up to him, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
"She's not exactly up for company," Damon said with a chuckle, gesturing to your stone.
"I know, this actually isn't my first time doing this," he said, a smile spreading across his face. "Actually, the guy who use to deliver along this route said that he's been delivering here once a week for his entire fourty year career,"
Damon stood up slowly, his bones protesting the movement. He held his hand out and the boy handed him the flowers.
"Thanks, kid," Damon said, sitting back down, there was a note tucked in with the flowers.
The boy gave him a little wave before disappearing.
Elena came to sit next to him, her hand on his knee, she gave him a sad smile. "What does it say?"
Damon pulled out his glasses, and read it out loud, a tear rolling down his cheek.
For a thousand years, I had never known love, until you, and for a thousand more, I will wait for you. 
-Elijah
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Rule one: When we are together, it will just be us, no one will know.
Rule two: No talk of business or family, don't get personal.
Rule three: When it's over, it's over.
{Part One} {Part Two}{Part Three} {Part Four}
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡~LOVE YOU GUYS
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zablife · 6 months ago
Text
Missing You
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Benny Cross x gf reader
Summary: After a wreck puts you in the hospital, Benny takes off. Will he return or leave you with more than just a broken leg?
Warnings: hospital setting, injury, brief mention of motorcycle accident, fear of abandonment, angst with fluffy ending
A/N: My first fic for The Bikeriders, pls be kind! Comments are love so leave me some 💕 No spoilers here!
Divider credit @firefly-graphics
Benny Cross Masterlist
You turned in the narrow hospital bed, head throbbing from the pain and the bright overhead light in your eyes. "Benny," you mumbled, head fuzzy and mouth feeling as though it were stuffed with cotton.
"Isn't there anyone else we could call?" a tired voice asked from far away. "A relative? Parents?"
There was a shuffle and whispering that sounded like a passing cloud over your head. "No one...she doesn't speak to...don't make it worse, please. He'll be back."
You tried to sit up to see what was happening, but you felt a wave a nausea which stopped you suddenly. Screwing your eyes shut to will it away, the gentle rocking only continued, making you whimper.
"Shhh, lie back, honey," a warm voice instructed, pressing you down into the soft pillows. You felt the warmth of a hand encasing yours as reassuring words poured over you like honey. "They put you under to fix that busted leg, but you're gonna be fine now. Just need a little rest, that's all."
You blinked slowly and opened your eyes once more, fixing your gaze on Johnny's wife, Betty. She gave you a small smile and you felt yourself relax at the sight of her kind eyes. Much like Johnny had for Benny, she had become a role model for you, teaching you how to make a life with the Vandals. Now she was more of a mother to you than your flesh and blood.
"Wh-where's Benny?" you asked, a bit more coherently than you'd managed before.
Betty busied herself pouring some water into a cup for you and your heart began to race, wondering if she was stalling. The memories were coming back to you in full force now, Benny carrying you into the hospital after the crash, yelling at the nurses and doctors. Had he abandoned you then because of the trouble or later when he learned of the care you'd require? You felt hot tears welling in your lash line as you realized this might be the end.
As she turned back to you with the cup, Betty's face fell. Sighing gently, she confirmed your worst fears. "He's not coming back tonight, Y/n."
You couldn't stop the sobs that wracked your body, shoulders shaking and chest heaving with the weight of her words. She allowed you a moment of despair, a hand stroking down your back in soothing circles. When that didn't seem to comfort you, she asked, "Don't you remember the nurses asking Benny to leave?"
Stifling a cry, you sniffed, "No, what are you talking about?"
"I thought you knew."
"Benny stayed?"
"Sure he did, paced all night. Got himself so worked up, he punched a hole in the wall over there! They told him he had to show himself the door or the cops would," Betty explained, the rush of words leaving her mouth so quickly you barely comprehended it all.
You inhaled a deep breath, feeling lightheaded from the relief. "He still wants me?" you mumbled to yourself. There had always been a deep fear coursing through you that someday Benny would take off and never come back. You'd been warned many times he was a man who liked his freedom.
"He still what?" Betty asked, looking at you in confusion. "Sweetie it's none of my business, but I think you should try to sleep now."
Nodding in agreement, you sunk beneath the hospital blankets, exhaustion quickly overtaking your tired mind.
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When your eyes reopened, sunlight was pouring through the blinds. A lazy smile spread across your face as you realized your head was no longer pounding with the incessant pain from yesterday. Though your leg now ached in its place and an irritating itch inside your cast was nagging you, somehow you had a good feeling about the day ahead. Stretching your arms above your head, you startled at the sound of a familiar, deep voice.
"Hi baby."
Your heart caught in your chest, too afraid to look if it was actually him.
"Ain't you gonna say hello?" Benny asked, his handsome face hovering over you like a blue eyed angel.
"Oh, Benny," you whimpered, eyes filling with tears.
"Hey, hey...don't cry," he urged, sweeping your hair away for a cautious kiss. You strained to meet the soft press of his full lips against yours, leaning into the gentle touch of his fingertips lacing through your hair. He kept his weight from you, careful not to worsen the bruising he knew you'd sustained to your ribs.
As his beard brushed your cheek, the gravel in his voice rumbled into your chest along with the words you'd longed to hear, "I missed my girl."
"I missed you. What the hell happened?"
Benny chuckled, his teeth shining in that mischievous grin he wore when he knew he'd been caught. His gaze turned toward the crumbling plaster he'd left in the wake of his anger, straightening his denim jacket as he confessed, "Mighta made some trouble."
"I heard," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. "Betty told me, but she didn't say why," you prodded with a raised eyebrow.
Benny pulled up a chair, taking your hand between his large calloused palms. "Listen, I want you to know somethin."
You furrowed your brow uncertain where he was headed.
He rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand as he spoke, his speech slow and tender as you'd never heard him before. A man of few words you weren't prepared for what came next. "I know you don't have kin...kin that claim you anyway." You stared down at his rings, watching them glimmer in the light as he chewed his lip in concentration, choosing his next words carefully. "We been riding together a couple of years now and you gotta know by now that I'll never leave you behind."
Swallowing a lump in your throat, you realized how wrong you'd been, misjudging your boyfriend in a moment of fear. The reputation Benny had as a loner who only looked out for himself simply wasn't true. The love you felt for each other was real, he was telling you so right now. The thought stirred butterflies in your stomach the likes of which you hadn't felt since you met.
Reaching for his face, you cupped his blonde scruff as you proclaimed, "I want to be with you too."
His eyes fell to the floor, thick lashes downcast as he was overcome by a sudden rush of shyness. Perhaps he'd already said too much, revealed a part of himself he kept hidden for fear of exposing weakness. However, you were reveling in it, especially when he raised his head to add another word of praise just for you.
"I was proud of you when we went down. Took it like a champ, you know?"
It was your turn to look away, blush creeping up your neck as you shook your head in vehement denial.
"No, I mean it. The first thing you asked when they got you in here was when you was gonna ride again!" he chuckled at the memory.
"What?" you asked incredulously.
"Yeah, the nurses all thought you were crazy. Said so too," he recalled, bitterness rolling off his tongue. He sighed heavily as he admitted, "That's why I punched the wall."
Staring up at the ceiling, you finally connected all the pieces and let out a little huff. It was soon followed by a snort, then a rolling wave of laughter as you were unable to contain your amusement at your boyfriend's classic impulsiveness. All the hurt and pain melted away as you realized it had all been a wayward attempt to defend you.
"M glad you think it's funny I almost got arrested," he protested.
"And I got a broken leg, Benny!" you countered sternly.
"You win," he conceded with a grin.
Looking down at the cast you turned sullen. "Can't ride with you now."
"Says who?" he asked, drawing close to you. His bright eyes danced with spirited challenge, daring you to defy him.
"I just thought..." you stumbled, feeling all willpower leave your body. When Benny asked something of you, the only answer was yes.
"You go where I go. We make trouble together, remember?" he said, sliding an arm over your waist and pulling you into him for another slow, sensual kiss.
"Sure do, don't we?" you agreed, moving in unison with him. Clutching onto his jacket you asked, "We going home now? I'm done missing you."
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riki-riks-chick · 7 months ago
Note
I have a really big hard thought, like imagine being at a party with your friends Heeseung and Jake while you see your ex-boyfriend kissing another girl, you start to feel bad and Heeseung and Jake get jealous and decide to treat you like you deserve it taking you to their place to make you scream their names and both of them overstimulating you at the point you cry for it. If you can write something like this would be the end of me
Also I would like to be 🌪 anon
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Life Of The Party ┃L.HS & S.JY
jake and heeseung x reader
yn focuses more on her ex than hs and jy so they give her something better to focus on.
cw: smut! fingering, pussy eating, dirty talk, jealousy (slight), crying, dacryphillia, swearing, threesome, kissing (mxm and fxm), neck kissing/marking, overstimulation, creampie, unprotected sex, doggy style, missionary, parties, getting over a breakup, nipple/tit sucking, clit play, pleasurable torture, i think that's it
wdct: 3.6k
ty for the request this is the longest one yet 😁
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Third Person POV~
Being single seems to have given you more freedom. Your boyfriend cheated on you, and then you kicked him out of your apartment. You'd be lying if you said breaking up with him wasn't painful. Two years down the drain because your boyfriend cheated with some random girl. 
But you've sort of moved on.. You spend more time with your friends.. They make you happy, but part of you wants another relationship.
Your two closest friends, Jake and Heeseung, invited you to come with them to a party tonight. So you got ready and they came to pick you up. You weren't exactly thrilled, but Heeseung and Jake practically forced you, so you had no choice.
The party itself wasn't bad.. Everyone was nice and you even met a new guy. His name was Sunghoon you think, but the music was loud so you weren't completely sure. Either way he was pretty cute. 
You had a few drinks already to loosen up and not worry so much. Now you were sitting on the patio where fewer people were around. Just to breathe for a moment. Heeseung stepped out, sitting in the chair beside yours. "The whole point of bringing you here was to get you laid.. How can that happen if you're avoiding everyone?"
You sighed, downing the rest of your drink before setting the cup down. "I'm not really interested in getting laid.." You mumble, the alcohol starting to get to you. Heeseung groaned. "You're so stubborn.. Sunghoon was trying so hard to get in your pants.."
"He's not my type.. As much of a pretty boy he is, I'm just not digging it.." You reply and Heeseung sighs. "Tough.. What about Jongseong? He seemed to be into you.." He asks as you groan. "Heeseung, please.. Jongseong is hot, but he just got out of a relationship and I refuse to be someone's rebound."
Heeseung is beyond frustrated. All he wants for you is to get back into the lifestyle you had before you even dated that asshole. One night stands were fun.. Parties were stellar. You were just a different person then. A person that Heeseung misses dearly.
"Fine. I'm done trying to get you a good fuck.. But at least come inside and hang out with me and Jake.." He pouted, and you smiled, getting up. "Okay.. Come on.."
You walked behind Heeseung, letting him pull you  into the living room where Jake was playing beer pong with Jongseong and Sunghoon.
You sat down, taking the drink Heeseung had got for you before he sat down next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. 
You glanced around the room before your eyes landed on the pair sitting on the couch opposite the one you were sitting on.
You thought you saw wrong at first, but low and behold, it's your ex and the girl he cheated with. His tongue is down her throat and she's on his lap. The whole view makes your stomach turn in disgust. 
After that, your whole mood is off. Jake is the first to notice, and without even confirming that you saw your ex kissing on that girl, he knows it's because you saw him. 
He doesn't blame you.. He knows that you haven't seen him since the breakup, so it's probably not easy, especially when he's with someone and you're hardly getting back to being yourself.
You excuse yourself, heading to the bathroom, and Jake calls Heeseung into the kitchen. "What's up, Yun?" He questions as Jake sighs. "She's clearly not happy right now.. That asshole just had to show up and show off his new piece right in front of her." He explains as Heeseung nods. "You noticed too?.."
Jake nods. "I think we could do something for her.. Because I'm honestly tired of that asshole getting more attention than us when he broke her heart and we've always been here.." 
Heeseung agrees, seemingly deep in thought of how they could make you feel better. He then whispers an idea to which Jake nods in agreement. "Let's do it."
They then head to the bathroom, knocking on the door as you open it. They immediately walk in with you, closing the door behind them. 
"What are you guys doing?.." You ask, shocked as Heeseung sighs. "We wanna take you home." He says plainly and you raise an eyebrow. "Why?.." You question as Jake steps in. "We noticed how you started frowning when you saw him.. I wanna know what face you'd make if it was just us.." He said, his tone slightly seductive. 
Heeseung chuckled, cupping your chin as he turned your head towards him. "We want what's best for you.. Just give us a chance to show you what you're missing, hm?.."
His tone is very persuasive, something that you definitely can't deny. And as much as this whole situation sounds wrong, you think it'll feel right. So you nod. "Okay.."
The two immediately beam at your response. Before you can register, they're pulling you out of the bathroom, not even bothering to say goodbye to their friends before dragging you outside and to the car.
Heeseung is driving, and Jake hops into the back seat beside you. You're quiet for the first half of the ride until Heeseung speaks. "Are you sure you wanna do this?.." He questions as you shrug. "I don't know.. Maybe I'm feeling adventurous right now.." You reply dully.
Heeseung pulls over, turning to face you in the backseat. "Y/n... I need you to be serious.. We're not going through with anything if you're not sure." 
You shrug yet again. "I don't know.. I've never had a threesome before.. I guess it's something to check off my bucket list." Jake chuckles at your reply, earning a glare from Heeseung.
"Are you absolutely sure you wanna do it?.. We're not gonna be gentle.." You nod in response. "I'm sure.. Question, though.. Have you two had a threesome together before?" You ask, already having a semblance of the answer, but wanting to confirm.
Jake nods. "Honestly, Heeseung and I have had multiple threesomes together.. You'd be surprised how easy it is to accomplish when a girl is that horny.." 
You shake your head with a laugh, to glancing between the two of them. "Well.. I trust you guys, so I'm down.. Let's have some fun."
Soon enough you're at their apartment complex, and Jake helps you out of the car before leading you towards their apartment front door where Heeseung is fumbling with the keys. 
Once the door is open, Jake lets you walk in first. You follow Heeseung into the kitchen, and he grabs three glasses, setting them on the counter. "If I'm gonna do this with you guys, I feel like we should be way more drunk.. That way we can blame it on the alcohol in the morning." 
You snicker at his words, taking the glass he handed you once he filled it partially with whiskey. 
You weren't a fan of brown liquor, but it was definitely an easy road to getting drunk faster. The three of you all stood around the kitchen island, exchanging small glances and short conversations.
With every sip from your glass, you relaxed a little more, letting loose so you could simply focus on the current situation.
You hadn't noticed how close Heeseung was, being the first to initiate intimacy as he wrapped an arm around your waist, pressing his lips to your neck.
You gasp softly, eyes shutting as you took in the feeling of his lips on your neck. Jake watched silently, downing the rest of his drink before rounding the counter to cup your cheek. 
He turns your head towards him, kissing you as you hum into the kiss. Their touch on your skin is like fire, but in the best way possible. You're already getting more excited and all they're doing is kissing you.
Jake pulls away, smiling at you as you turn towards Heeseung who leans in to capture your lips with his. His kiss is less gentle, you can almost taste the need building up at the back of his throat when he slots his tongue into your mouth. 
Jake takes no action, instead watching the two of you kiss, his hands on your hips and his head on your shoulder. When you and Heeseung finally part, he presses his lips to your ear. "Let's head to the bedroom.. As much as I'd hate to admit, I'm all too eager to see you naked right now.." 
You chuckle, pulling away from Jake, turning to face him instead as you kiss him again. "Then what's the wait?... Let's go."
Before you can even respond, he's pulling you towards the bedroom, stumbling through the door with Heeseung following slowly behind. He's not in a rush, not as much as Jake, but part of him wants to watch the two of you interact before he even gets involved.
Jake is quick to pull you close, kissing you, with more passion this time as he slides his hands beneath your shirt, wanting more of a connection. It's not long before he's pulling away to attempt to pull the shirt over your head.
Heeseung decides to intervene, not wanting Jake to steal all the fun. He turns your head towards him, smiling. "Strip.." The word falls easily from his lips, so seductively that you can't even think of disobeying.
You hum, putting on a strip tease as you slowly unzip your skirt, sliding past your hips before letting it hit the floor. Then, you brought the shirt up and over your head, letting it litter the floor. The last thing you remove is your heels.
"If you wanna see the rest, you're gonna have to earn it.." Your words are alluring and Heeseung finds it cute. He likes this side of you. He's used to the normal side of you where you're more direct and not at all teasing. 
He leads you to the bed, Jake following as you climb onto the bed, basically sandwiched between them. Heeseung kisses you again, seemingly unable to get enough of your taste. 
Jake on the other hand has better plans ahead. He kisses down your neck, trailing down past your chest and to your stomach. 
You moan when he rubs you through the silk of your panties, giving Heeseung further access to kiss you deeper. All the while, Jake's kisses get lower and lower, soon reaching your waistband.
You pull away from Heeseung momentarily to glance down at him, watching him grip the fabric before tugging it downwards. The second they were off, he slid a finger into you, moving it slowly in and out of you. You tilt your head back, biting your lip to hold back a moan.
Heeseung moves, sliding a finger in with Jake's as you let out a short gasp. They move they're fingers perfectly together and you're sure this isn't the first time they've done this. Their fingers press perfectly against your sweet spot, drawing needy moans from your throat as you watch their movements.
Jake takes the lead, leaning down to swipe his tongue against your clit before sucking on it.
Heeseung scoffs, grabbing Jake by his hair. "You're so eager.. Stealing all the fun.." The younger man pulls away from you at Heeseung's words, removing his finger from your hole. "Then join me.. No one's stopping you.."
Heeseung smirks, leaning down as he flicks his tongue against your clit, holding your right leg open while Jake holds the other.
Jake continues to move his tongue against you, his tongue moving with Heeseung's as they both sucked on your pussy.
You moan louder, having never experienced such pleasure. Both of their tongue on you is insane, and it feels amazing. Heeseung and Jake seem to be enjoying it as well, alternating between giving each other room to eat at your cunt and then going back to doing it together. It feels amazing, and you're already so close.
"Fuck..." You tug on Heeseung's hair, and he caresses your thigh, pulling away. "Just cum when you need to, baby.." He's now watching Jake take you to the edge, running his hand through the younger man's hair as Jake eagerly eats you out, his tongue flicking mercilessly against your clit.
You can feel the pleasure blooming hotly in your lower abdomen, and it's not long before you're spilling into Jake's mouth, coming undone on his tongue as he laps up every liquid that flows out of you.
Once you've come down from your high, he sits up, pulling Heeseung into a kiss to allow the older man to taste you as well. The scene is so hot, watching them kiss each other as comfortably as they would you. The way they grasp at each other. It's all so alluring.
Your orgasm has slightly sobered you, and now you're feeling shy. Jake and Heeseung are both fully dressed still, but you're completely naked, save for the bra covering your chest.
"Why am I the only one naked..?" You question as Heeseung smiles, trailing his hand up your thigh. "Because I wouldn't have been able to contain myself if these clothes weren't acting as a barrier.. But now that you're all prepped.." He pulls his shirt off, letting it hit the floor. "I can finally have some fun with you.."
Jake pulls you to sit up, moving to sit behind you as Heeseung smiles. "Hands and knees, baby.."
He undoes his belt while you take position, staring up at Jake as he kisses you, cupping your jaw sweetly. "Be a good girl, hm?.." He mumbles as he undoes his own pants, freeing his cock from the restraint of his pants.
You immediately take it into your hand, giving it a few gentle licks before taking the tip into your mouth. You moan in surprise when you feel Heeseung's cockhead press against you, sliding in slowly as you lose focus for a second, only continuing when Jake tangled his hands into your hair, easing you further down his length.
It was hard to focus. Heeseung's thrusts were slow, but cavernous, hands gripping your hips as you moan, swirling your tongue around Jake's cock.
Jake leans his head back, lips parted to release low moans as you suck his dick. The way you pull off every minute or so to breathe, the way you moan around him, and the way you stroke what can't fit. It's all to attractive for him.
"Fuck.. You're doing so well..." He praises as you take him slightly deeper, his tip pressing against the walls of your throat as you gag around him.
Heeseung quickens his pace once he feels that your used to him, fucking you faster, but just as deep.
This causes you to lose focus slightly, inhaling sharply as a shallow pain settled into your hips. Heeseung was rough, hips meeting yours with every drive, his cock entering you fully each time. The feeling has you seeing stars, moaning around Jake as you go from sucking his dick to wrapping your lips around him sloppily. He pulls you off, tugging on your hair to tilt your head back as he kisses you, tasting himself on your tongue.
You're drawn from Jake once more when Heeseung slaps your ass, wrapping his arm around you to apply pressure on your clit. You're a moaning mess, arms growing tired from holding yourself up. And Heeseung notices. He's been watching your arms shake for awhile now, wondering when you're gonna give up.
Before your arms can give out on you, Heeseung pulls you up by your arms, resting back on his heels as he continues to pound into you.
Jake takes the opportunity to shove your bra downwards, leaning forward to take your perky nipple into his mouth. He hums around you, eliciting a moan out of you as you lean back, letting Heeseung hold you flush against him.
You can feel your orgasm growing closer.. Heeseung's too. The way his hips move in an unsteady pace, and his fingers work your clit so easily. It's all too perfect.
"Heeseung.. Holy shit.." You whine, feeling a tightness in the pit of your stomach. He chuckles, pressing kisses to your shoulder. "Gonna cum?. Hm?.. Gonna make a mess on my cock?.." His words make everything feel ten times better, and Jake's mouth on your chest, switching back and forth as he sucks purple love bites into your skin.. It's heavenly..
It's not long before you cum, creaming Heeseung's cock as you tighten around him, paving the way for his own orgasm as he spills blissfully into your aching heat. His movements slow, and Heeseung pulls out, switching spots with Jake as he gestures for you to move closer.
You obey willfully, letting Heeseung kiss you gently before sitting against his chest, your legs spread wide open for Jake's entry.
The younger male is now shirtless. His pants still hanging loosely at his hips, and his erected length standing proudly, glistening dimly with your spit and his precum.
He situates himself between your legs, pressing his tip against your clit as you whine, still feeling sensitive. He ignores the twitching of your hips, rubbing himself eagerly against you as he let's out his own moans.
He eventually gets himself worked up, feeling needy and shoving himself inside you with a quick thrust. You're seeing stars again, feeling an intense pleasure that you're not used to.
Jake's movements are shorter and not as deep as Heeseung's, but it still feels amazing. Without forcing himself to deep, he still manages to hit all the right spots.
You're moaning with every brush against your sweet spot, head tilted back against Heeseung's chest. The older male is watching happily, unclipping your bra and pulling it off of you so he has complete access to your chest, groping your breasts and playing with your nipples.
You hadn't expected much going into this, but you definitely don't regret it. Everything feels incredible, and Jake and Heeseung know they're making you feel good.
With both of them touching you, it feels absolutely amazing, and your body is still sensitive from the previous two orgasms. Jake's pace is relentless at this point, growing faster and deeper as he presses his thumb to your clit, rubbing it in circular motions.
You start squirming immediately, legs making an effort to close, but Jake spreads them again, holding down one thigh using his other hand to rub your clit.
"Fuck... Jake.. Please." You whine, tears forming in your eyes as he fucks you harder. Heeseung wraps his palm loosely around your neck, tilting your head back as he whispers in your ear. "Feel good? Hm?.. Us fucking you senseless?" He voices teasingly, running his tongue over the shell of your ear. You whimper, the sound coming straight out of your throat as tears start streaming down your cheeks.
Jake chuckles, slowing his thrust as he reaches up to wipe your tears. "Is it that good? Or are you just weak?.." His words make you cry harder, squirming against them as Heeseung holds you down, sucking on your neck, creating more purplish marks.
Jake goes back to toying with your clit, and you're trembling, orgasm nearing at an impeccable pace.
"Cum.. Be a good girl and cum for us.." Heeseung whispers against your ear, sending chills down your spine as tighten around Jake, drawing a gritted moan from the back of his throat.
Jake thrusts a few more times before your coming undone for the third time tonight, whining and moaning as Jake continues to thrust into you, wet and lewd sounds echoing throughout the room.
"Please no more.." Your vision is cloudy from the tears, and it's almost hard to breathe. Heeseung turns your head, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. "Shh.. Just breathe.. You can take it.."
Though his words are encouraging and sweet, you can't help how overstimulated you feel, and Jake doesn't seem to care either. He's lost in his own pleasure, thrusting haphazardly as he chases his orgasm.
"I'm gonna cum, shit.." He grips your hips, rutting against you as he spills into you, painting your insides with his cum. Once he finally stills himself inside you, you let out a weak moan, whimpering when he pulls out.
"What a mess..." Jake smiles, running his fingers through the mess of cum coating your thighs and your pussy, sliding them into your mouth to make you taste it.
You whine around his fingers, sucking them clean as he pulls them out, leaning down to give you a soft kiss before staring down at you. "From now on, you belong to us.. Forget about that bastard." His tone drops seriously, and you nod in understanding.
Heeseung chuckles, kissing your head. "Good girl.."
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jenomi · 6 months ago
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i miss you, i'm sorry
pairing: idol!jeno x idol!reader
you weren't anticipating seeing jeno at your gig today. you were at a live lounge to perform your new song and a cover of "I miss you, I'm sorry" by Gracie Abrams. you'd be lying if you said you weren't thinking of jeno when you picked that song.
jeno was here to promote his new song with his group, but you didn't bother to check who the other feature would be when you signed up for the show. nobody knew about your relationship except close friends, not even your manager so they couldn't warn you of this. both of you had to keep it a secret due to the nature of your careers.
but it was 5 years. 5 years with jeno, the love of your life. or was it now the former love of your life? it hurt your heart to think about it.
when you bumped into him and the rest of nct dream, you said your hellos politely. you used to be friends with the rest of the dreamies, but the relationship faded as you stopped dating jeno. every time you would look at jeno, it's like he had a radar for you so he would look back at you immediately. it hurt to look at him in the eyes, so you looked away quickly.
you went on stage first, performing the title song to your new mini album. it was an upbeat song, describing the freedom you feel when not bound by ropes holding you back. but for your real fans, they would study the undertones of your new song and know that it's actually a sad song about the longing for those boundaries you once had.
jeno listened to your song, because of course no matter what, he still supports you. he was by your side as you rose to fame.
looking back, you realized your relationship with jeno was a little suffocating. having to keep it a secret, not being able to eat out at your favorite restaurants, or even walk on the street together. it was fun at first and you believed you loved each other enough to make it work. but jeno started to get more and more nervous about your secret relationship, especially seeing how other male idols caught in dating scandals were treated. you tried to ease his mind on the topic, but as time went on, it was beyond saving.
you just didn't think jeno would be able to leave so easily.
"The next song I'll sing is a cover by one of my favorite artists. Um..." you weren't sure if you should give any background information, knowing jeno was backstage and might be watching, "I hope you enjoy."
"Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you?"
although the end was messy, you still cling on to the better moments in your relationship. when you went to the beach together, covered by hats, sunglasses, and a big umbrella, backs more tan than your chest from lying on your fronts to hide from the public. it was ridiculous and excessive, but you would always laugh at each other's uneven tan. when he would come home after being away for months on tour, locking himself in your house to catch up on lost time.
"You said, 'forever,' in the end I fought it. Please be honest, are we better for it?"
being together for 5 years, naturally you talked about marriage. it was forever for the both of you, you especially couldn't imagine yourself with anyone else. but now, you watch jeno from afar and online and see that he's happy. you also got some freedom back after breaking up. you can't help but wonder if maybe you outgrew each other? are you better off without each other?
a piece of your heart broke off every time you would answer 'yes'.
"You said, "forever," and I almost bought it. I miss fighting in your old apartment"
you begin tearing up as you reach the latter half of the song. you always found sanctuary at jeno's apartment. there were memories all over it.
jeno was watching from side stage. he could hear the slight quiver in your voice. he couldn't miss it, he could always tell your mood from your voice. he loved you for 5 years. how could he forget? he could also hear how much of your heart you were pouring into this song. he couldn't help but reminisce about your relationship. he felt a lump forming in his throat as he became overcome with nostalgia from your relationship.
"And I know you said that we're not talking. But I miss you, I'm sorry"
jeno told you to stop messaging him. it came out harsh, but it was too hard to stay in contact with you and not want to get back together. in the moment, he thought he was doing the right thing, but now looking back he doesn't quite remember the reason for breaking up in the first place. he kept up with your activities, he would watch your performance videos to see how you were doing and add up the streaming numbers for your success.
as he watched your videos and you performing live, he realized he messed up. how could he live without you? the time after your breakup were a blur, jeno kept busy to prevent himself from thinking about you in his free time. watching you now, crying as you sang a song about a messy breakup, much similar to the one between the two of you, his heart broke. he missed you, too. he'd like to think this song is dedicated to him - but he'll confront you after your set to talk.
as you sing the outro, you're trying your best to keep it together. too many memories were flooding back. you knew what you were getting into when choosing this song, but seeing jeno in person for the first time after he walked out on you opened the gates to all the memories you shoved in the back of your mind trying to forget.
when you finish, a tear slips down your cheek before you're able to swipe it away. the crowd cheers and coos as you bow and say your thank yous before rushing off stage.
you stop in your tracks when you see jeno standing side stage with sad, tear-rimmed eyes.
"y/n-"
the tears are about to burst just hearing your name on his lips. you hold up your hand and walk quickly towards your waiting room. you pass the other dreamies on your way as they call your name, their voices laced with concern.
you hear the producer call them on stage. good, jeno won't be chasing after you. after all, he put his job above you in the end. by the time they were done, you'd be long gone.
⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺
part 2 here!
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lucyrose191 · 9 days ago
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CALM IN THE STORM| H.SPECTER
Pairing: Harvey Specter x Wife!reader
Summary: The entire firm knew how temperamental Harvey Specter was and whenever he was in one of those moods, they knew it was going to be a painful day, until they found the only thing that could calm him down.
Warnings: none.
Suits Master List
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Harvey Specter could be described as many things; arrogant, rude, uptight, stone-faced and most certainly hot headed. It wasn’t hard to piss him off but it was certainly difficult to calm him down and once his mood was ruined the entire day was doomed.
It was quite frankly anyone’s worst day whenever Harvey wasn’t in a good mood because they always took the brunt of it and there was no way to fix it.
Or so they thought.
If there was one thing anyone would say about Donna Paulsen, it was that she knew everything, which meant she knew exactly what would calm Harvey Specter down.
His wife.
Y/N Specter wasn’t a lawyer, she was an aerospace engineer which was just as, if not more impressive than being a lawyer and Harvey Specter worshipped the ground she walked on.
After watching Mike Ross leave Harvey’s office with near tears streaming down his face, Donna had enough and picked up the phone.
Y/N’s attention was momentarily drawn away from her computer at the sound of her office phone ringing but continued looking through data as she answered "Y/N Specter speaking."
A sigh of relief was heard through the line before Donna’s voice filtered through. "Y/N! Thank god! I don’t know what the hell is up Harvey’s arse today but he’s nearly made Mike cry three times and it’s only 10 o’clock, can you please come and save us," her husband’s secretary practically begged.
Y/N smiled, leaning back in her chair, work forgotten. This wasn’t the first time she had received a phone call like this and she found it hilarious just how much her husband built within people, he was a real softy around her.
Luckily for her, she had a lot of freedom in her role, she had proven herself for many years before that she was now able to come and go from work as she pleased, being fully trusted that no matter how often she was hear her work was always done.
"I won’t be long," she said before hanging up, not wasting time in grabbing her things to make her way to her husband’s workplace.
As she walked towards her husbands office, Y/N bit down her laughter as she saw the obvious signs of relief on everyone’s faces as she walked by.
"Y/N you have no idea how happy I am to see you," Donna greeted her as she approached her desk, "He’s miserable in there."
Y/N looked through the glass into her husbands office and found that the redhead was telling the truth, the heavy frustration on her husband’s face was hard to miss.
She gave Donna a smile before making her way into Harvey’s office.
The man sighed heavily hearing his office door open, not looking up from the case file open in front of him. “I thought I said I didn’t want to be disturbed.”
Y/N smiled, “and does that include me?”
Harvey’s head snapped up at the sweet, smooth tone of his wife’s voice, feeling the tension in his shoulders deflate just from her presence. "Y/N?”
“Hey handsome." She smirked slightly, walking around his desk, he turned in his chair just as she stood in front of him.
He looked up at her in the same way he always did, there was nothing but pure love in those eyes, “What are you doing here?"
Y/N smiled lovingly at him, stepping forward to stand between his legs, wrapping her arms around the back of his head. “You’re scaring your colleagues.”
Harvey rolled his eyes, sitting up to rest his hands on her waist. “They’re ridiculous.”
Y/N hummed, “maybe, but how could I deny the chance to come and see you?”
“Fair point, I can understand the struggle of not seeing my handsome face for a couple hours,” Harvey replied, dead serious, smiling as his wife rolled her eyes and gave him a gentle slap to the shoulder.
“What’s got you all worked up, darling?” She asked.
Harvey released a deep breath, sparing a glance to the case sitting open on his desk. “I didn’t even want to represent the guy but Jessica knows him, I know him to be a complete prick."
Y/N thought for a moment before inviting herself further into his space, forcing her way into his lap, not that he was complaining, he just tightened his grip around her, leaning back into his chair. “Well, how about I treat you to lunch?” She proposed.
Harvey smiled tiredly. “I’d love that, baby." He replied, earning a bright smile from his wife who leaned forward to press a loving kiss to his lips before standing back up, pulling him up with her,
“Come on then, we’ve kept Ray waiting long enough.”
The smile on Harvey’s face was a stark contrast to the frustration he had been hounding earlier and it was all down the angel in front of him who wouldn’t even allow him to grab his coat, too persistent in dragging him through his office door.
As they made their way out of the building, they paid no attention to the uncomfortable weight that seemed to lift from everyone’s shoulders.
One thing for sure is that the entire firm were relieved for the existence of Y/N Specter.
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lavandulawrites · 11 months ago
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Hello first timer here, May I humbly request for Yandere Nanami Kento wherein His darling locked themselves inside the closet and he is getting progressively angry and insane ,but just as he is about to break the door his darling unlocks it
Hiding In the Closet
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Yandere Nanami Kento x reader
This is really short so I apologise.
I noticed when I was about to post it that I had miss read your request so I had to rewrite it_| ̄|○ I still hope you enjoy<3
Masterlist
Warnings: mention of murder and punishment
Word count: 603
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Nanami’s voice was getting louder and louder. You shrunk in on yourself, holding your breath. He was starting to get furious which was a rarity. You were hiding in your closet trying to just disappear. His footsteps got louder. “Please get out [Name]” his voice irritated.
Two hours ago Nanami left the flat form some grocery shopping. You had decided that today you were going to escape the clutches of the man who claim he loved you so much that he had to keep you safe. You had a proper plan and you were determined. Your freedom was only centimetres away. You had slipped a small screwdriver he had used for fixing the lamp in the living room, in you pocket. To your surprise the overworked man didn’t notice the little tool missing. You had packed some crackers in your pockets so that you had some energy when you escaped. The last thing you wanted was to get exhausted before you knew you were out of reach for the blond man. You unscrewed the bolts keeping the window shut and exhaled. This is it.
You were just about to climb out of the window when the front door opened. You froze in your tracks and didn’t dare to turn. Maybe he didn’t notice you?
“[Name] what are you doing?” he’s deep voice sending shivers down your spine. You slammed the window shut before you could make your escape. His hazel eyes boring into yours. You turned on you heel and ran out of the room. You could hear him call for you. He was mad.
You hugged your knees as silent tears rolled down your cheeks. The small crystals wetted your socks, but you couldn’t care less. You could hear his footsteps approaching. Of course he knew where you were hiding, he just wanted you to feel a small sense of freedom.
Why couldn’t you understand that he only wanted the best for you? Why wouldn’t you let him protect you? Nanami sighed as he ran a hand through his light hair. His patience was really running thin. “Please come out” he squatted before the closest. He could see your curled up figure. “I will count to 10”.
“1”
“2”
“3”
“4”
“5”
“6”
“7”
“8”
“9”
Just as he was about to finish counting she creaked open the closet doors and crawled out like a scared animal. He’s stern features soften. He beckoned you into his strong arms. “You broke my trust. I trusted you to stay put, but no you decided to try to sneak out of a third floor flat. It’s clear that you aren’t ready for the outside world” he sighed as he cradled you. His strong hand gently stroking your back. His breath fanning over your ear. You were shivering. You knew all to well how easy it was for him to snap you in half. You had been a witness to what he did to your dear loved ones. He had told you that it was their punishment for tainting something as pure as you. “It’s a shame really. And I who had planned a nice vacation for us” he sighed.
He lowered his face so his lips were mere centimetres from your ear. “It seems that I have to cancel our vacation. It’s a shame. I haven’t had a vacation for years you know? You really had to ruin it didn’t you?” his voice velvety, almost concealing his condescending words. Someone as him didn’t deserve such an angelic voice. He lifted you up. “What punishment do you deserve hmm…? I have to give it some thought…”
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fanbasetwo · 2 months ago
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TIL DEATH DO US PART , RICKY
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PAIRING: husband ! ricky × wife ! afab reader
SYNOPSIS: In an arranged marriage where sparks never flew, you finally chose divorce as the only path to freedom. But when your husband died in a sudden accident, life took an unexpected turn, binding you to a reality marked by guilt, grief, and the shadows of unfulfilled words. Now, you must navigate a world that holds him forever gone.
GENRE: fluff + angst
WARNING(S): not proofread, kissing, dirty jokes, a little bit suggestive, mentions of suicide and death, insecurities, mentions of pregnancy. lmk if I missed anything.
WORD COUNT: 16.2K
FEAT: JAY from ENHYPEN + some ocs
MASTERLIST !!
NOTE FROM SENA , this kinda flopped on my enha blog but I still wanted to reach more people, so here it is. an ricky version of the same fic, if you find ‘jake’ instead of ‘ricky’ in some paras please mention so that I can edit it out. hope you have fun reading this <3💗
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DEAR RICKY,
I'm sorry, but I can't continue living like this. I'm leaving. Our marriage has become a constant battle, and I believe we're both suffering more by holding on than we would by letting go. I know neither of us wanted it to come to this, and I wish things were different. But deep down, I think we're better apart. I hope one day you'll understand.
With regret, Y/N.
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TEARS BLURRED YOUR VISION AS YOU STARED AT THE CRUMBLED NOTE IN YOUR HAND—the one you had written to Ricky months ago. The one that now felt like a curse. Your hands shook as you traced the familiar words, guilt twisting your insides. I'm leaving. I'm sorry. He had never known the true weight of those words. And now he never would.
The police had found it in his pocket. They said he'd carried it with him, even after everything. Even when he... when he was gone.
You collapsed onto the couch, clutching the note like a lifeline, but it only felt like a reminder of how far you had pushed him. How much you had wanted out, and now, how deeply you regretted it. A year together, two lives constantly at odds, and it had ended in this way. A divorce that never came, an accident that did. You didn't want this, didn't want him gone, but now, all you had was this-regret, and a body that was too still in your bed to hold. The anger, the frustration of him being gone-it consumed you, ate at your soul.
Why couldn't you have waited?
You had hoped time apart would fix things, give you both breathing room. But he hadn't lived long enough for you to see the good you could have made of it. The guilt ate you alive, deeper than the frustration ever had. You tried to convince yourself it wasn't your fault, that you couldn't have known, but deep down, the truth stung. Your note had been his last reminder of your marriage. His last memory. He had carried your rejection right until the end.
Would things have been different if you hadn't written that letter?
The thought raked at your mind like shards of glass, shredding everything in its path. What if you had kept fighting for him, for the marriage? Would he have been here? Would you have learned to love him? Or would he still have left, still have been gone, no matter what?
Your thoughts flickered back to moments with him-so small, so easy to overlook. The way Ricky had rolled his eyes every time you'd scolded his niece Semi for spilling juice, or how he had tried to hide his smirk as he pretended to act innocent. The little things that used to irritate you, that you had never really appreciated until now.
You remembered the way he defended you against his relatives, his words sharp and protective as they made cruel comments about your body. They didn't understand, but Ricky did. He had always been there, not perfect but trying.
“She suits me well enough.”
The memory felt like a slap now, a cruel joke. You had spent so much time pushing him away, not seeing that he cared. You hadn't seen that he had tried.
“Why couldn't I have seen it?” You whispered to the empty room, curling up on the bed, pressing your face into the pillow. The tears soaked into the fabric, and the sobs wracked through you like a storm. Why was it only now, when he was gone, that you realized how much he had mattered?
You had never kissed him, never held him the way a wife should. You thought you had the luxury of time, but now you had nothing left but his memory. The memory of a man you barely knew but had somehow been the one constant in your life. How selfish of you to push him away. How stupid to think it was all about the fights, the annoyances, and not about the love you could have had.
“Please... Ricky. I'm sorry...”
The words escaped you as your sobs grew louder, choking your breath. Your body trembled with grief, the weight of regret pressing down on you until you couldn't breathe. If only you could undo it, go back and rewrite the note. If only you hadn't given up on him, on the marriage, on the chance for something more.
The room felt suffocating now, as though the walls were closing in around you. What now? you thought. There was no future with him anymore. No next step. No reconciliation.
Why had you waited so long to realize how much he meant to you?
You sank deeper into your pillow, tears soaking your face and your hair, wishing for the impossible: for him to walk through the door, to come back, to make everything okay again. But he wouldn't. He couldn't.
And all that was left was you. And the note.
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YOUR MOTHER IN LAW’S HANDS TREMBLE AS SHE EXTENDS THE ANCESTRAL RING TOWARDS YOU, her eyes glistening with raw grief. The ring's delicate gold band catches the light, an unwanted reminder of everything Ricky represented—strength, love, an unfinished story.
“He wanted you to have this… but I never thought I’d give it to you now. Not like this,” she whispers, her voice breaking before dissolving into quiet sobs. The sound is so raw it scrapes at your heart. For a moment, the room feels unbearably small, closing in with the suffocating weight of shared loss.
You stare at the ring, fingers hovering uncertainly. The thought of accepting it feels like admitting he’s really gone. Yet, you know you can’t refuse it; Ricky’s wish, even unspoken now, feels sacred. You slip the ring onto your finger, a silent acknowledgment of the man you had once promised yourself to, a man you’ll never get the chance to truly know.
With a hesitant step forward, you place your hand on her shoulder, the touch meant to soothe but feeling fragile, as though it could shatter under the weight of her grief. The older woman leans into you, body racked with tremors as she buries her face in her hands. Her sobs rise and fall in uneven waves, echoing in the otherwise silent room.
“Please… don’t cry,” you whisper, your voice hoarse and cracking at the edges. The night had drained you, leaving your eyes dry yet still burning, poised for more tears that you no longer had the strength to shed.
Her grief pierces deeper. “He wouldn’t want to see you in pain,” you add, voice low, carrying the weight of a plea that even you don’t believe.
“I-I know,” she manages between sobs, her shoulders trembling. “But… he was so young, so full of life. It should’ve been me, not him. He barely started his life, and now…”
The room seems to warp under the heaviness of her words. You know she’s right. The unfairness of it all gnaws at you. But what would Ricky want? The question echoes in your mind, clawing for answers you wish you didn’t have to seek.
You close your eyes for a brief second, conjuring his face in your memory—the way his smile would sneak out when he thought you weren’t looking, the stubborn tilt of his chin when he was determined. You imagine him here, telling you what to do, how to be strong for her when he couldn’t be.
Drawing in a shaking breath, you shift, wrapping your arms around your mother-in-law. She stiffens for a heartbeat before collapsing into the embrace, her body convulsing with grief. Her head rests on your shoulder, and you stroke her back, the gesture rhythmic, almost desperate, as if the act itself could soothe the unsoothable.
“My poor boy… he must’ve been so scared, so alone in those final moments,” she chokes out, and it’s as if a knife twists in your chest. The image of him in pain, of his last moments, blurs the edges of your control. A tear slips down your cheek, a singular escape among the multitude waiting behind your lashes.
“I’m so sorry, Ricky,” you whisper, barely audible. The guilt is relentless, intertwining with the ache of loneliness that had settled deep within you long before he passed. You were alone when he was alive, and now that emptiness has transformed, sharpened by grief, into something more unbearable.
Her sobs quiet, just enough for her to lift her head and take in your expression, your tears mingling with unsaid words. She studies you, eyes clouded by grief but touched with understanding.
“You must feel so alone too… You and Ricky… barely had time,” she murmurs, her voice a weak echo of empathy.
The silence stretches, heavy and uncertain. You meet her gaze and see the exhaustion, the pain mirrored back at you. It anchors you for a moment, before she speaks again.
“You’re still young. You should think of moving forward one day. Remarry, maybe… You’ll always be like a daughter to me, but you have to live, too.”
Your heart clenches, rejecting the thought. You don’t want to. The ache of wanting Ricky, even in a marriage that had felt distant, is a raw wound you can’t imagine healing. The loneliness was familiar; life without him is uncharted, unbearable.
“I won’t… I can’t,” you admit, voice shaking as the tears finally spill, unchecked. “I just want him back. Even if it means being lonely again.”
The words break you open, and this time, neither of you tries to stop the crying. You hold each other in the ruins of shared loss, hoping, against hope, that the pieces of your shattered hearts will one day feel less sharp.
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YOUR HANDS CHILLED FROM THE BRISK AIR, DIG DEEPER INTO YOUR COAT POCKETS AS YOU GAZE OUT INTO THE SWIRLING SNOW, a faint numbness settling in your bones. Each snowflake that brushes against your cheek feels colder than the last, a physical reminder of the frost that’s taken root in your heart, a void Ricky's absence left behind. Life has lost its rhythm, its purpose, and the bustling world seems foreign, moving on a beat you no longer recognize.
Nursing, once a passion that filled your heart, now feels suffocating. The once-simple act of caring for patients, seeing them through their darkest times, now stirs something darker inside you—an envy for their hope, their chances. These creeping, bitter thoughts had scared you enough to step back from the only profession you knew. The faces of crying relatives haunted your dreams, their grief striking chords too familiar, too close. You’d sworn to heal, never harm, yet here you are, carrying shadows of guilt too heavy to bear.
The café’s warmth hits you as you push through the door, a momentary comfort against the gnawing cold. You shuffle forward, fingers fumbling in your pocket for money as your eyes wander the room. Ricky had always spoken fondly of this place, a little corner shop with its cozy mismatched chairs and the sweet aroma of cocoa and baked pastries. A small pang clenches your chest, regret whispering its usual 'what ifs.' If only you’d agreed to visit here with him, if only time hadn’t been a cruel master.
The barista, a young woman with weary eyes, glances up as she speaks. “Ma’am, are you ordering?” Her voice, though polite, carries a slight impatience with the growing line behind you.
“Ah, yes… a cold coffee,” you manage, the words falling flat as if they don’t quite belong to you. Her brows lift, a flicker of confusion.
“In this weather?” she asks, a hint of genuine concern lacing her tone.
Realizing the absurdity, you swallow, forcing a small, resigned nod. “Hot chocolate then,” you say, the warmth of Ricky’s recommendation tugging at the edges of your memory.
The exchange is brief, the hot drink pressed into your hands a minute later. As you turn to leave, the weight of the ancestral ring around your finger pulls at you, its cool surface grounding and yet suffocating. The bittersweet metal reflects a dull glow, a silent reminder of promises made and broken, of the love lost and the void left behind.
The wind picks up outside, tugging at your coat as you sip the hot chocolate. Its warmth spreads through you, but it’s fleeting, never enough to touch the ache within. You shake your head, Ricky’s face vivid in your mind, his teasing smile as he’d planned your future dates. You’d push the thought aside, but every step feels like dragging a part of him behind you.
“Why can’t I let go?” you murmur, voice snatched away by the icy air. Your brother-in-law’s words echo in your mind, urging you to stop living in Ricky’s shadow. But how do you tear yourself away from the ghost of a love that never got to finish its story?
Snow clings to your coat as you continue to trudge through the city, each step heavy with an ache that refuses to fade. The glow of the streetlights bathes the snow in a warm, golden hue, contrasting the bitter chill that settles in your chest. Sipping the hot chocolate, you try to focus on the warmth sliding down your throat, but the sweetness only sharpens the emptiness inside. The steam curls from the cup, a fleeting comfort as your breath mingles with it in the frigid air.
You pause near a park bench, eyes darting to couples bundled up, their laughter piercing through the quiet snowfall. One couple stands close, the man adjusting the scarf around his partner’s neck with a smile that makes your heart clench. You bite the inside of your cheek, the taste of copper sharp on your tongue as you fight back the sting in your eyes. The jealousy gnaws at you, sour and uninvited.
The memory of Ricky’s voice flits through your mind, warm and teasing: “Good things happen to good people.” You scoff, the bitterness in that statement now a cruel joke. Were you not good enough? The universe seemed to think so, because it had ripped him away, leaving a hollow shell in his place.
Lost in thought, you find yourself on the bridge, fingers trailing over the iron railing that has frosted over, leaving cool streaks on your gloves. This place, once so filled with light and memories, feels haunted now. You trace a path where your and Ricky’s hands once met, where laughter and shared secrets once echoed.
A voice, small and familiar, intrudes on your thoughts. Semi’s question echoes, fragile and innocent: “Aunty, when will Uncle come home?” You close your eyes, the lump in your throat thickening as the memory sharpens. You remember her wide, unknowing eyes searching yours for an answer you couldn't give, the guilt of that half-truth searing into you as you whispered, “I’m not sure, sweetie.”
You grip the railing tighter, feeling the cold seep through your gloves as the ache of regret claws at your heart. The river below moves steadily, unaffected by the chaos in your chest. You look down, watching the water catch the light in rippling patterns, your reflection distorted and wavering. The noise of the city fades as you breathe in the freezing air, each exhale a shuddering attempt to steady yourself.
A gust of wind stings your face, and you force yourself to look up, straightening with a resolve that feels fragile. Ricky’s brother and his wife were inside your apartment, their watchful eyes filled with concern disguised as casual chatter. You know why they stay—it’s not out of pity, but out of fear, a silent agreement to keep you tethered when your world felt like it was splitting at the seams.
The laughter from the park drifts over again, mingling with the hum of distant traffic. For a moment, you let yourself remember the warmth of Ricky’s embrace, the way he’d nudge your shoulder and murmur, “Life doesn’t stop, even when we want it to.”
“Maybe it shouldn’t,” you whisper into the night, the words barely a breath as they dissolve in the chill.
The warmth of the hot chocolate fades as the biting wind grazes your skin, a cruel reminder of the numbing void left behind. You stare at the bridge, eyes tracing the railings where Ricky’s laughter once echoed. A memory surfaces, unbidden yet vivid.
“I know this isn't what either of us planned, but... I wish we could work it out,” Ricky had said, a touch of hesitation softening his confident voice. His hands, hesitant but steady, hovered near you, respecting the space you held between.
“I wish that too,” you had murmured, the lie sliding off your tongue too easily. You’d convinced yourself you didn't care enough for Ricky then, but the pang of that memory now gnawed at your insides. Regret had a way of reshaping the past, twisting even the most indifferent moments into sharp blades.
“Tell me something about yourself,” Ricky had prodded gently, eyes bright even as he leaned down to meet your gaze.
Caught off guard, you’d raised an eyebrow. “Like what?” The question felt foreign, untouched by anyone's curiosity until now.
“Your ideal type,” he said, the corner of his mouth lifting as though challenging you. His height had always made you tilt your head back to catch his expression—a detail that now felt like a cruel nostalgia.
“Why would you ask that?” You'd played along, teasing but curious.
Ricky chuckled, the sound resonant and warm. “Because we're getting married, and maybe knowing each other better will make it feel less... strange. Maybe, just maybe, we'll fall in love.” His hand, finally settling on your shoulder, had felt reassuring, a silent promise in its touch.
The memory cleaves through you like a knife, leaving behind a raw wound that no time or distance can heal. A single tear slips down your cheek as you blink, the reality of the moment washing over you like a wave. The park across the street bustles with couples walking hand-in-hand, laughter and warmth breaking through the cold that wraps around you. A fresh ache takes root, sharp and relentless.
You drop the empty cup into the trash can, the metallic clang breaking your reverie. The grief, heavy and suffocating, presses you to the edge as you turn and begin the long walk home. Your footsteps are heavy, every step an effort against the pull of the past.
“Aunty, you're so late. Did you bring Uncle with you?” Semi’s small voice meets you at the door, eyes bright with innocent hope. The guilt hits you like a punch, stealing the air from your lungs. Your throat tightens as you shake your head, eyes avoiding her searching gaze.
Jieun, seeing your reaction, sighs softly as she pulls Semi closer. “Semi, we talked about this, remember?” Her voice holds the practiced patience of a mother trying to shield her child from the pain.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Semi mumbles, eyes dropping to her tiny hands that fidget nervously. The sight twists your heart, guilt layering over the grief that refuses to ease.
You force a hollow smile. “It’s okay, Jieun. She's just a kid,” you say, your voice low and void of emotion as you shrug off your winter coat and hang it up. The familiar routine feels like a play you no longer wish to act in.
“Still, I just—” Jieun’s words falter as you cut her off, your voice breaking the tension.
“Please,” you murmur, the word sharp and desperate, silencing the room. The stillness that follows is suffocating, your breaths shallow as you fight to keep your composure.
Jieun's eyes search yours, understanding but hesitant. “We just don’t want you to be alone,” she whispers, her voice thick with worry.
“I know,” you reply, sitting on the couch with your head hung low, hands clenched tightly in your lap. After a long pause, you add, “But you need to leave. This is your home too, but you have your own life to get back to. I need time... time to figure out how to grieve.” Your eyes don’t lift to meet theirs; you can’t bear to see the disappointment or concern there.
Semi’s voice pipes up again, the innocence piercing through your defenses. “Are you sending us away, Aunty?”
The weight of guilt deepens, pressing into your chest. You close your eyes, feeling the sting behind your lids before you answer. “No, sweetie, I’m not sending you away. You can come whenever you want. Aunty will always be here.” The words come out flat, and you feel them land like lies in the air between you.
Jieun picks Semi up, nodding at you as if she understands, though her eyes glisten with worry. “We’ll give you some space. But we’ll check in. Don’t forget that, please.”
When the door clicks shut, silence wraps around you, heavy and thick. Your gaze shifts to the note you’d prepared earlier, sitting on the edge of the coffee table. The words, written in your own hand, feel foreign now: apologies to the people who stayed, memories they never knew you held, and the final confession of a heart too weary to go on.
You were battling with the urge to just end it all.
The rational part of your brain told you that you were young and had your whole life ahead and that you'd meet a lot of guys in your life but the stubborn heart won't give up and held onto the memory of the guy you once called your husband.
So, you gave up.
A smile, then another.
The city glows beneath you, lights sprawled like constellations cast on earth. The wind at this height is sharp, tearing through your clothes and chilling your skin, as if trying to pull you back from the edge. Your shoes scrape against the concrete ledge, the slight tremble in your legs betraying the battle waging within. The night air smells faintly of rain, metallic and crisp, mingling with the faint hum of traffic below.
You steady your phone in your trembling hand, its cold surface grounding you momentarily. A notification pings, an ironic reminder that life continues to tick on, indifferent to the turmoil within you. The camera lens reflects the shimmer of unshed tears as you hit record, the small red dot staring back like a silent witness.
A smile forms—hesitant, broken. Then another, and another, each one a mask that crumbles too soon. “To everyone who still cares,” you begin, your voice low and cracking, “Semi, sweet, innocent Semi. Jieun, always so patient. Jay... my husband’s shadow in every way. My sister, my friends, all of you who tried.”
The wind picks up, whipping strands of hair across your face as you pause, the weight of the unsaid pressing on your chest. You blink rapidly, tears slipping free, their warmth stinging against your cold cheeks. “Ricky wouldn't want this. I know he'd call me stubborn, weak even.” You let out a hollow laugh, the sound swallowed by the wind. “But he wouldn’t understand how loud it is in the silence he left behind.”
Your heart hammers as you shift your weight, the city seeming to inhale with you, holding its breath in anticipation. The edge of the building digs into the soles of your feet, the space between you and the world below both terrifying and liberating.
“I miss the little moments, Ricky,” you whisper, voice breaking as you squeeze your eyes shut. “I miss you making me feel lonely, and now... now I’m lonelier without you.” The ache in your chest is unbearable, a cavernous void that steals your breath.
One last deep breath, air burning through your lungs, and you step forward. The world blurs into a rush of sound and sensation—wind roaring in your ears, your body weightless, suspended in a moment between despair and peace.
And then the fall hits.
Pain surges through you, sharp and overwhelming, before darkness takes over. Around you, the chaos erupts into a cacophony—screams, the frantic pounding of feet, and the sharp cry of ambulance sirens slicing through the night. But these sounds are drifting away, becoming faint murmurs from a world slipping out of reach.
Silence wraps around you, one that made you feel like everything would be okay after this. Maybe, just maybe, peace waits on the other side. In death.
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YOU WALK THROUGH THE DENSE, MILKY FOG, EACH REVERBERATING IN AN ECHO THAT NEVER QUITE SETTLES. The air is cool, feather-light, whispering like distant memories. Is this heaven? The question circles in your mind, unspoken. If it is, where is Ricky? A quiet laugh escapes your lips, hollow. He couldn’t have done enough wrong to land in hell, you think, the hint of humor biting through your longing. Yet, the anticipation twists your heart—an ache that makes you want to see him so desperately.
You try to call out, “Ricky?” but the sound stays trapped in your chest, choked by the thick fog. Another step forward and there’s nothing but endless white, stretching out, swallowing you whole. Your breath catches; suddenly, the air thins, compressing your lungs, squeezing out every ounce of oxygen. You gasp, your hands clawing at the invisible force stealing your breath. It feels like drowning in emptiness.
Then—without warning—everything shifts. White light erupts around you, blinding and all-consuming. You brace for oblivion, muscles tensing for an end you’re sure is near. But instead, there’s a softness beneath you—a mattress that cradles you like an embrace you forgot.
Your eyes snap open, pupils adjusting to the familiar pale ceiling. It’s your ceiling. Your shared room. The bed, the faint scent of Ricky’s cologne still lingering in the sheets, as if he just left. You sit up, heart thundering, hands brushing over your body frantically. No pain, no bruises, no broken bones—nothing. You’re whole, intact.
Then the realization hits you like cold water, and your fingers tremble as you pull them away.
“What the…?” you murmur, eyes darting around, seeking answers that the silent room won’t give. Your gaze falls to the phone on the bedside table, its screen blank and mocking in its stillness. You grab it, breath hitching as the time blinks to life.
January 29th, 2024. 6:30 a.m.
A shiver races down your spine. The date stares back at you, sharp and impossible. You set the phone down, legs feeling weak as you stand and approach the mirror. Your reflection isn’t that of a woman who has been weeping endlessly. Your eyes, dry and wide, reflect confusion rather than the storm of emotions that you carry.
“Is this one of those flashes they say you see before death?” Your voice trembles as the words escape, and you reach up to touch the cold glass. The girl looking back at you does the same, fingers meeting yours in a silent plea.
Then, your eyes catch it. The blue gel pen resting on the dresser—a pen that has no place outside your drawer. It’s a small thing, but the sight of it makes your breath hitch. Memories slice through you, sharp and unforgiving. That pen was the one you’d used for the note to Ricky, the one that demanded space, an end.
“No,” you breathe out, shaking your head, bile rising in your throat. The pen feels like a cruel token, mocking you for what came after. In a swift motion, you snatch it up, the cold plastic biting into your skin as you grip it tight. The weight of your guilt, your regret, turns your stomach, and with a sudden burst of anger, you hurl the pen into the trash, its clatter punctuating the silence like a final plea.
Chest heaving, you close your eyes. If this is some kind of twisted second chance, you don’t know if you should feel terror or relief. But the room, the sheets, the absence on the other side of the bed—everything points to one impossible truth.
You’re back.
But this isn't a romance novel, is it?
Your eyes trail back to the empty bed, where Ricky should be. “Ricky?” The name falls from your lips, hopeful, trembling, but the silence stretches on, suffocating.
Your heart thuds like a wild drumbeat, erratic and desperate, the rhythm matched only by the single hope that propels you forward: seeing Ricky. Alive. Healthy. Breathing.
You practically jog out of the shared bedroom, your bare feet sliding slightly on the hardwood floor as you turn the corner. The guest room door is ajar, a sliver of dim light illuminating the narrow hallway. The pulse in your chest quickens, breaths shallower with each step until you reach the threshold. You pause, drawing in a trembling breath before stepping inside.
There he is. Ricky. Lying on his side, dark hair fanned messily over the pillow, the soft rise and fall of his chest hypnotic in its simplicity. Relief washes over you so powerfully that your knees almost buckle. You inch closer, careful not to make a sound. The blanket is snug around his torso, exposing his bare, muscular chest—the way he prefers when he’s alone. Your throat tightens at the sight, familiar yet so foreign now.
Your hand, almost on its own accord, hovers over his face, fingers trembling as you place them under his nose. The soft, warm breath that meets your touch is enough to sting your eyes with unshed tears. Your hand drifts down, resting against his chest, where you can feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat—a rhythm you thought you’d never sense again.
Ricky stirs, the sudden shift pulling you out of your trance. His eyelids flutter open, dark eyes glazed with sleep but sharpening as they land on you. He blinks once, then again, brows drawing together.
“What are you doing?” His voice, rough with sleep, carries a note of confusion that makes your hand fall away as though burned.
“I-I…” The words snag in your throat, scrambling to make sense of the madness. How could you possibly explain? Your eyes dart nervously to the floor, heat searing your cheeks as you mutter, “I missed your kisses.”
The room freezes. You can feel the weight of his gaze, heavy with disbelief. He shifts, sitting up, and the blanket slips down to his waist, revealing the sharp lines of his torso. Your eyes betray you, flickering over the familiar planes before darting away in embarrassment.
“But… we never kiss,” he says, voice low and edged with confusion. The statement slices through you, painfully reminding you of the distance you both had grown used to.
“I know... I...” you whisper, fingers clenching into fists at your sides. The silence stretches, heavy, until the sharp trill of his phone alarm shatters it. Ricky’s attention shifts, eyes narrowing as he leans to silence it. When he looks up again, the space where you stood is empty.
You rush back to your room, shutting the door behind you with a soft thud, heart hammering in your chest. Sliding down until you sit with your back pressed against the cool wood, you cover your flushed face with shaking hands. Your pulse thunders in your ears, mixing with the replay of his sleepy voice, the fleeting touch of his warmth.
Is this really the past? The question festers, tugging at the edges of logic, but the ache in your chest and the rawness of your emotions tell you it is. And if so, this year holds one horrifying certainty: Ricky’s death.
The mere thought twists something deep inside you, bringing back the soul-crushing grief, the endless nights of regret. You glance down at your wrist, breath catching as your eyes lock on the ink-black date that marks it: November 4th. The day Ricky dies.
Frantically, you rub at the skin, as if the stubborn mark will simply smudge away under your touch. But it doesn’t. The date remains, stark and immovable, taunting you.
A shiver crawls up your spine, but then a thought—a glimmer of defiance—roots itself.
What if you change it? What if this was given to you, not as a cruel joke, but a chance to rewrite what went so terribly wrong? To love him in a way you never did and save him from the fate that once tore your entire world apart.
“I can do this,” you whisper, determination threading into your voice. The regret may have once paralyzed you, but now it fuels you. If you only have until that date, then every second will be spent fighting fate, no matter how impossible it seems.
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THE SOFT MURMUR OF THE COUPLE’S CONVERSATION DRIFTS DOWN THE STERILE HOSPITAL CORRIDOR, brushing against your ears like a whispered secret. The woman lies propped against crisp white pillows, her leg encased in a cast, eyes fixed on her partner with a blend of exhaustion and comfort. He leans forward, fingers interlaced with hers, voice low and tender.
“Can you please see what's wrong?” he asks, eyes glistening with concern. He gently squeezes her hand, words spilling out as quiet reassurances. “You're doing so well, love. It's going to be okay.”
A tight warmth coils in your chest as you approach, a familiar pang of bittersweetness shadowing the sight. The love, the unwavering devotion-it's moments like these that remind you why you cherish your job. The fragility of life, held together by threads of connection, has always moved you, even when those threads unraveled in your own life.
When you started nursing, blood was your greatest fear, the sight once enough to turn your stomach. Time had softened those edges, transforming anxiety into steady resolve. It was also during those early years when you married Ricky, the man whose smile was warm enough to banish shadows but whose presence now only haunted your memories. The marriage had lasted five years before everything shattered with the crash.
No. Stop. The thought rushes at you like a wave, cold and suffocating. You grit your teeth, eyes burning as you push it down, push him down, refusing to let the grief claw at you. He's alive here, in this fragile present you've been thrust into. Don't let the past bleed into now.
“Sure,” you say softly, the practiced smile you wear settling on your face. You reach out, fingers moving gently over the girl's cast, checking the edges, ensuring everything is as it should be. She nods in silent gratitude, eyes fluttering shut with relief as her partner exhales.
The end of your shift arrives with the deep hues of twilight stretching across the sky. The drive home is long, punctuated by the soft rumble of the engine and the anxious thrum of your thoughts. Your fingers drum against the steering wheel, tapping out a nervous rhythm. Avoid home, your mind suggests, listing off a million errands you suddenly think of, any excuse to delay the inevitable.
But the excuses run dry when you're standing in front of your door, keys cold against your palm. The air outside is crisp, biting at your cheeks as you draw a deep breath and hold it. The weight of the morning—Ricky’s sleepy, questioning eyes and the ghost of your impulsive words-hangs between you and the door.
“Is it too late to back down?” The whisper escapes your lips, trembling in the chilly silence. You picture his expression, the puzzled furrow of his brow as he replayed your words. The way his fingers brushed over his phone, gaze lifted just in time to see you flee. He isn't stupid. Ricky never was.
With a sigh, you slip the key into the lock, the click loud and final. The door opens, and warmth spills out to meet you, along with the faint scent of his cologne. Your pulse quickens as you step inside, the hum of your heartbeat louder than the quiet creak of the floor under your weight.
Don't run, you tell yourself, even as the urge coils tight in your muscles. You close the door behind you.
As you push open the front door, the faint glow of the television casts flickering shadows across the living room. There he is-your husband, Ricky, reclined on the couch, eyes fixed intently on the news. His brows knit slightly as a montage of suited politicians gestures on screen, their voices droning promises as hollow as a whisper in the wind.
He is basically watching those politicians give some weird and untrue promises for the sake of votes.
How romantic. How normal. The bitter thought twists in your chest. But it isn't. Nothing about this is normal. Why would he be watching the news, of all things? Then, a pang of irony hits you like a wave. How hypocritical, you think. You promised Ricky your forever in a ceremony that now feels like an echo. The vows shared between you had been spoken out loud but never truly lived.
You shake the memory away, an old wound you refuse to pick at as you step inside, the floor cool under your feet. Ricky doesn't notice you at first, his attention locked on the screen, oblivious to the fact that the person who left him a note asking for space now stands in the doorway, wrestling with the tension roiling inside her.
“Hey,” you finally say, the word falling between you like an anchor. It comes out awkward, unsure, a fragile hope that he won't read too much into it. But Ricky's eyes flick to yours, a spark of recognition cooling to something unreadable.
“You're back home?” His voice is measured, neither warm nor cold, but there's a tightness to it that you can't ignore. He shifts, the blue glow of the screen catching the sharp line of his jaw as he waits for your response.
The note. You had slipped it into his hand, asking for a break from a marriage four years deep but hollow. Your heart thuds in your chest, fingers clenched at your side as you speak before fear can pull the words back.
“The note-I take it back. I don't want a break from you or this relationship, Ricky.”
The silence that follows is heavy, broken only by the low hum of the news anchor's voice. His eyes search yours, a hint of disbelief darkening the warm brown you once memorized. “Why?” The question slices through the quiet, clipped and cautious. You almost flinch at the hardness there, a wall built brick by brick in your absence.
“Because I don't want to stay away from you.” Your voice trembles, raw honesty exposed between you like an open wound. Ricky's eyes widen slightly, the stoic mask cracking as a flush creeps across his cheeks.
“Y-You're blushing?” The soft, astonished laugh tumbles out of you, a momentary break in the storm that makes you feel like you're standing on the edge of something new. The corners of his mouth twitch, the faintest sign of a smile, but he shakes his head.
“Sure, sir. You're just cold.” You chuckle, sinking onto the floor beside the couch, knees drawn up as you hug them close. The laughter is sharp, almost giddy, the sound foreign in the room that has held so many silences.
Ricky watches you, confusion settling into his features, the red on his cheeks fading as he leans forward, elbows on his knees. “You're acting weird,” he murmurs, the words half swallowed, uncertain.
“How am I acting weird if I'm seeing my husband show some attraction to me, which isn't platonic, for the first time?” The jest slips out, tinged with sincerity, but it brings a hush over both of you. The truth stands stark between you, glaring and painful. For a moment, neither of you speak, each of you weighed down by memories, by the heavy knowledge of what's been lost and what still aches to be found.
But determination flares in your chest, a stubborn warmth. So what if love had been absent before? So what if promises were half-kept and hearts guarded? You could start again. You could relearn how to be two flawed people willing to try. Your gaze meets Ricky's, the hope in your eyes unyielding.
Don't let go, you silently plead. Let this be the start of something real.
Ricky clears his throat, a subtle attempt to dissolve the tension settling over the living room like a blanket too heavy to lift. His fingers fidget, running nervously over the seam of the couch as he shifts his gaze downward. There you are, still seated on the floor, legs tucked to one side, eyes catching the soft glow from the TV. Cute, he thinks, the word rolling silently through his mind, too heavy with unsaid truths to speak aloud.
“So...” The word escapes him, thin and unfinished, hovering in the air. His eyes flit over your face, searching for a reaction. The awkwardness clings to the silence, but you don't falter.
“So?” you echo, your tone a notch steadier, holding the slight tremor that betrays your effort. You lean forward just slightly, a gesture that feels braver than it is. If courage could rewrite fate, you'd wield it now, not just for yourself, but for him. For Ricky, who might not know the sharp edge of reality that's cut you.
He rubs the back of his neck, glancing to the side where the blue light paints his profile in soft, wavering lines. “You know... Semi's birthday is next week.” His words stumble, trailing off as if second-guessing their own existence. But you aren't in the dark. You know exactly what this moment leads to.
“Yes, I'd love to go shopping for gifts for her,” you respond, your voice quick and practiced. His eyes widen, caught off guard, the surprise stark against his usual composed expression. The tension in his jaw slackens, and he blinks, unsure if he heard you right.
“Excuse me?” He stares at you, the faint crease between his brows deepening.
“Isn't that what you were about to ask?” You tilt your head slightly, a small smile playing at your lips, testing him. He hesitates, realizing that denial means trouble, but his face softens into a relieved kind of acceptance.
“No, no... of course. You could... accompany me to shop for Semi's birthday presents.” His voice picks up, the uncertainty lifting as he finds the path back to normalcy. He notices your smile widening, the tension slipping just enough to let him breathe.
“Okay then, see you tomorrow, husband.” The word slips from you, unbidden, laced with a warmth that surprises even you as you turn on your heel. You make your way toward the guest room, feet padding softly against the floor. Ricky's brows knit again, eyes following your form until you pause, hand on the frame of the doorway.
“Why are you heading to the guest room?” His question is quick, a thread of confusion laced with something else-something vulnerable.
“Because we sleep apart, and I wouldn't want my husband's back to break on that stiff, rough bed. The sheets aren't even comfortable,” you say, voice light but with an edge that dares him to react. You step into the room, but glance over your shoulder with eyes that glimmer, a playful smirk pulling at your lips. “Besides, I'd rather you break your back or get tired doing me than struggling on a bed.”
His jaw drops, eyes wide with stunned silence as the door closes between you. Ricky sits back, eyes fixed on the now-empty hallway, replaying the moment in disbelief. The wife who barely spoke above a whisper at their wedding, who tiptoed through years of silence, had just turned the tables with a single teasing line. His pulse hammers beneath the stillness.
What on earth just happened?
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“ARE YOU TELLING ME Y/N JUST TURNED INTO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON?” Jay's voice, casual yet curious, echoes through the phone. He's speaking to Ricky, who shifts from foot to foot, eyes glancing around the boutique as he waits for you to finish picking out a dress for his niece. The sound of soft music drifts around him, mixing with murmurs of other shoppers.
“Exactly that!” Ricky’s voice comes out louder than intended, drawing looks from the store's staff. A woman in a sleek uniform, brows raised in disapproval, approaches with a pointed glare.
“Sir, please keep your voice down or refrain from talking altogether,” she says, sternly but professional.
Ricky's ears burn as embarrassment blooms across his face. “Yeah, I'm sorry” he mutters, running a hand through his hair.
Through the phone, Jay's laughter rings clear and unapologetic. “You seriously got told off by staff? Man, you're killing me!” Jay's chuckles fade into a smirk that Ricky can practically hear. Jay's the same as he's always been-playful, relentless, the older brother who teases but listens when it counts.
“Fine, fine, I'll stop. Tell me what you mean by Y/N changing, just... keep it PG, will you?” Jay's tone is teasing, but curiosity laces through.
Ricky’s jaw tightens, eyes scanning the store for you as if your sudden return would put him on the spot. “There's nothing intimate going on between us,” he blurts, the words a knee-jerk reaction. His chest tightens with the memory of you resting your hand on him in your sleep last week, the way warmth had crept through him then. He clears his throat. “I mean, she's talking to me more, being... sweet. She listens. It's almost... submissive.”
“I told you, no bedroom details!” Jay chimes in, sarcasm sharp enough to make Ricky's teeth clench.
“THIS IS NOT A BEDROOM DETAIL!!!” Ricky retorts, frustration coloring his tone. It earns him another hard look from the store associate across the room, who pointedly glances over her glasses. Ricky sighs and mouths an apology again, shoulders drooping as he lowers his voice.
“What I mean is, she's more... attentive. She's not arguing as much. It's like she's listening to me for the first time.”
Jay's voice softens, just a hint of seriousness slipping through. “Isn't that how she always is with others?”
“Yeah, with everyone else. Just not with me,” Ricky admits, the admission heavy with a history neither of them mention.
“Interesting.” Jay's reply is contemplative, but before he can say more, Ricky's voice interrupts, distorted through the line. “Oh shoot, she's coming back. I'll call you later.”
As the call ends, Ricky pockets his phone, glancing up just in time to see you walking back with a smile. Jay, on the other side of the city, sets his phone down, a smirk playing at his lips as he thinks of sharing this tidbit with his wife later. Whatever was happening between his brother and sister-in-law, it was about to get even more intriguing.
On the other side, Ricky stands, a mixture of amusement and curiosity on his face as you hold up a tiny pink dress. It's perfectly frilly, fit for a little girl. But all he can think is how charming it would look in a size for you—a thought that makes him shake his head, realizing how ridiculous it sounds.
“So, what do you think? Should I get this for Semi?” you ask, eyes sparkling with anticipation. There's already a growing collection of clothes for his niece in your arms, a reminder of how you've embraced being part of his family.
“Are you getting all of them?” he asks, more out of shock than judgment. He never imagined children's clothes could come with such hefty price tags.
“Yes, why? Is this too much? I can cover it if—”
Before you can finish, he interrupts, affronted. “I'll pay. It's for my lady, after all.”
The statement hangs in the air, not romantic as he'd intended but awkward, making your brows twitch slightly. You resist the urge to grimace, forcing a polite smile instead.
A staff member, the same one who had shushed Ricky earlier, walks over with an unimpressed expression, exchanging a silent, almost comic glare with him. She gave Ricky a look that said 'you're weird and I don't want to talk to you'
'what have I ever done to you' was the look that Ricky presented back to the staff before she looked away. You glance between them, slightly confused. Then Ricky clears his throat, moving the conversation forward.
“Do you have a similar dress in a bigger size?” His voice drops to almost a whisper. He feels self-conscious asking, but the idea has stuck.
The staff member blinks, taken aback. “Excuse me?” She tilts her head, uncertain if she heard right.
“Yeah, do you have something like this,” Ricky gestures at the dress in your hands, “but, you know, for an adult?” A flush of red creeps across his cheeks as he points to you. The staff member nods after a moment, walking off to search, while you stand there stunned, watching her go.
“Why are you buying something for me? Semi’s dress is already pricey. A woman's size will be—”
“It's just a dress,” he interrupts with a small sigh, eyes softening. “Think of it as a gift.”
“But today isn't anything special.”
“Maybe not. But I'd like to make it special,” he replies, voice lowering. “I haven't given you anything since our wedding. That was four years ago.” His words carry a quiet vulnerability as he looks at you, taller and more serious than you expect. You hold his gaze before shifting and mumbling a reluctant, “Fine,” looking away to hide the way your cheeks warm.
The staff returns holding a similar dress, but in an adult size. It's pink, short, and undeniably cute-something that looks a little too daring for your style.
“Will this do?” she asks.
“Absolutely not,” “hell yeah,” you and Ricky say in unison. The staff's eyebrows raise as she turns to you, sensing you as the more level-headed one.
“We're not buying it,” you insist, giving Ricky a look.
He doubles down. “We are.”
“Ricky, no.”
“Why not?”
“It's too short!” you argue, exasperated. He shrugs, eyes softening as he counters, “It's knee-length. That's normal.”
With a dramatic sigh, you roll your eyes and give in. But you don't try it on in the store; the idea of wearing it in front of him makes your heart thud with a mix of nerves and embarrassment. After all, you've barely even shared a bed in weeks—how could you possibly show him a dress like that now?
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RICKY’S HEART STOPS FOR A MOMENT AS HE TAKES IN THE SIGHT BEFORE HIM. You, standing in the baby pink dress that hugs your figure just right, with its soft fabric brushing just above your knees. The playful, shy smile you wear as you twirl slightly sends a wave of warmth through him. He never expected to see you like this; the reality strikes him so suddenly that it leaves him breathless.
The laughter of Semi fills the room as she runs around in her matching pink dress, giggling and pulling you along by the hand. The soft glow of the post-birthday celebration lights casts a golden hue, warming up the atmosphere in the living room. Ricky sits on the edge of the couch, one hand resting on his knee as he watches you and Semi, his gaze softening with an emotion he hasn't felt in what seems like ages.
A gentle nudge breaks his trance, and he turns to see his mother looking at him with raised brows and a hopeful gleam. “When are you two going to have kids?” she asks, her voice light but laced with longing.
The air in the room shifts. You pause mid-spin, eyes darting to Ricky with a look of surprise. This isn't part of the script of your past life; this question throws you off balance, the sudden attention making your heart race.
Ricky’s father, seated across with a glass of wine in his hand, lets out a dramatic sigh. “I think I'll be long gone before I see any grandchildren from this one,” he jokes, though the weight behind it is unmistakable. The statement slices through the room's cheerful mood, leaving an awkward silence in its wake. Ricky's jaw tightens, a subtle tension creeping up his spine. He wants kids too, he really does—but not in a house that feels as unstable as theirs has become.
Before he can respond, you surprise everyone, including yourself. “We're trying,” you say, the words slipping out with practiced ease, even as your pulse pounds. The room freezes, all eyes turning toward you in shock.
Ricky’s eyebrows lift in silent question, but he plays along, shifting to put on an unreadable expression. He nods, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips as he covers the uncertainty boiling beneath. The room shifts back into a mixture of excitement and surprise.
“Is that true? You're both trying?” Ricky’s mother's eyes glisten, her hope rekindled as she looks between you and her son.
“Really?” Ricky's father echoes, leaning forward, his earlier sarcasm replaced by genuine interest.
Jay, standing near the fireplace, furrows his brow, lips parting in disbelief. Only last week, Ricky had confided in him about how distant and weird things had become between you two.
Ricky forces a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah... we've been trying for a while.” The lie feels heavy in his mouth, and he shoots you a look that says, Why'd you lie about that?
Your sister-in-law, Jieun, raises her hand, pointing at you with wide eyes. “Since when?” she blurts out, unable to contain her shock.
Ricky stutters, “It's been a-a month,” the answer sounding rehearsed yet shaky. He glances at you again, his eyes pleading for an explanation that won't come.
The conversation quickly shifts into an excited buzz, with well-meaning wishes from your in-laws filling the air. You catch Ricky's gaze, and despite the tight-lipped smile you give the family, there's a flicker of humor in your eyes. The absurdity of it all makes you want to laugh.
You both know the truth: the notion of trying for a child is impossibly far from reality.
Heck, it was funny for you to watch.
You were still a virgin. You two didn't even kiss more than once in those four years and they expect a baby to suddenly pop out of you?
And once the party winds down, you find yourself sitting on the couch with Semi by your side. Her wide, curious eyes shine with excitement as she swings her legs back and forth. At just four years old, she's a bundle of endless questions and innocent wonder.
You smile, reaching over to gently ruffle her soft, dark hair. “Does the birthday girl like her dress?” you ask, voice playful.
Semi beams, glancing down at the pink ruffled dress with pride. “It's so pretty,” she chirps, then looks up at you with a thoughtful expression. “But yours is prettier. You always look pretty, Aunty.”
Your heart melts, and you chuckle softly. “Aww, you learned how to give compliments, huh?” you tease, watching as her cheeks turn rosy and she averts her gaze to fiddle with her fingers.
“Aunty!” she whines, wanting you to stop teasing. Her eyes sparkle with mischief as she leans in closer and motions for you to do the same. With a curious tilt of your head, you move closer, letting her whisper into your ear. “Will you eat a baby to have a baby?” she asks, voice so serious it makes you freeze for a moment.
You stifle a laugh, your eyes crinkling at the edges. Gently cupping her cheek, you whisper back, “No, sweetie. That's not how it works. But that's grown-up stuff, and we don't talk about it now, do we?”
Semi giggles, her little fingers playing with a toy she received from her grandmother. The sight makes your chest tighten in a bittersweet way. You can almost picture your mother-in-law doting on a future child, fussing over toys and tiny clothes. The thought sends a shiver down your spine, making you shake your head lightly as if to dispel the image.
But a small part of you can't help but smile at the idea, a blush rising to your cheeks. The dream is distant, almost unreachable, and not yet yours to claim.
When you and Ricky step out into the cold night, the air nips at your exposed legs below your knees. The dress he had picked out for you, delicate and pastel pink, offers little warmth, and the heels are beginning to pinch with every step. You trail behind him, taking careful, aching strides to avoid twisting your ankle.
Ricky notices, stopping suddenly to turn toward you, eyes scanning your shivering frame. “What’s wrong?” His gaze softens as he realizes how exposed you are, legs trembling from the chill. Without hesitating, he shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over your shoulders. The sudden warmth is welcome, but your teeth still chatter as you mutter, “Wish I had something covering my legs instead.”
He exhales, half exasperated, half amused, before a wry smile forms. “Should I carry you like a princess? You’d be warm then.”
Surprised, you bite back a retort, matching his teasing tone with confidence. “Maybe you should.”
Ricky’s eyebrows shoot up, stunned. “Wait, what?”
“Chill, I was just joking,” you mumble, looking down at the ground. But before you know it, he’s stopped again, this time dropping to one knee. Your eyes widen in shock. “WHAT THE HELL?” you blurt out, stepping back in reflex, heat rising to your cheeks at the unexpected gesture. (more so because you believed he was trying to look up your dress)
Ricky looks up, mildly annoyed but patient. “I’m helping you,” he says simply. Before you can argue, he pulls out a pair of slippers from a little carry bag he had brought from home. The realization hits, softening your expression as he glances up. “Lift your leg.”
You comply, feeling foolish for your earlier outburst. He slips the heels off your feet and replaces them with the soft slippers, careful and precise as if proving he has no ulterior motive. The chill in the air suddenly seems less biting.
“You had these the whole time?” you ask, voice softer now, eyes wide with realization. He places the heels into the carry bag, stands up, and meets your gaze with a smirk.
“Yeah. Thought you might need them,” he says, a hint of smugness in his tone. You’re about to thank him when he reminds you with a mock-accusing look, “And you were ready to accuse me of being a pervert.”
The memory makes you feel small, but you muster a sheepish, “Sorry.”
He shakes his head, a touch of amusement in his eyes as the two of you start walking again, your steps now confident and comfortable. His jacket around your shoulders holds a warmth that seems to seep straight to your heart.
“So...” Ricky’s voice cuts through the silence, the question you've been dreading finally arriving. “Why did you lie about... us trying for a baby?” His tone is cautious, probing.
You sigh, the answer already clear in your mind. “It was the only way to get them to stop bothering us,” you admit. A pause follows, your gaze flitting up to meet his. You don’t dare to say more, not with your secret burden looming—coming from a future where he is no longer alive and your mission is to keep him safe.
Ricky hums in agreement, the tension easing a bit. “I can’t argue with that.” A comfortable silence settles between you, only broken by the sound of your footsteps. He glances at you again and asks, “Are you hungry?”
As if on cue, your stomach grumbles. Relief flashes across his face before he reaches out, taking your hand and leading you forward. The two of you approach a small, tucked-away restaurant, its sign faded but familiar. Ricky’s eyes light up. “You have to try the cold coffee from that café across the street,” he points out, the fondness in his voice unmistakable.
You nod, memories flickering back. His odd, endearing preferences were things you never forgot. “Fish curry with plain rice and some shrimp on the side?” you guess, eyes twinkling with recognition.
Ricky’s head snaps to you, surprise clear as day. He stares, a laugh escaping him as he shakes his head. “Since when did you start memorizing my favorites?”
You had heard about his fav things to eat from your brother in law, Jay. But Ricky never said it to you himself so the boy was pretty much stunned when you literally memorised them, as if you were waiting to flex this whole time.
You offer a small, knowing smile. “I have my ways.”
The waiter arrives promptly with your orders, and the rich aroma fills the space between you and Ricky. He takes a bite, but pauses, eyes drifting to you with a soft, contemplative expression. “We’ve never done this before…” he murmurs, his tone a mix of realization and gentle amusement.
You tilt your head, savoring a piece of shrimp. “You mean this date?” you ask, half-smiling.
“Yeah. I guess that’s what I mean,” he replies, taking a moment before continuing, as if gathering the courage. “I like it. I like how we are now.” He takes a sip of water, and the way he watches you is tender, raw. His hand slides across the table to rest over yours, fingers warm against your skin.
“I don’t know what changed, but I…” He hesitates, eyes locking with yours, a profound intensity that silences you. “I like how we’re not avoiding each other anymore, how we talk instead of fighting over every little thing.”
The sincerity in his words pierces through you, tugging at memories of a future where his absence left a hollow ache in your chest. The pain you’d carried, the distance, the loss—all of it feels heavy in this moment, but now, something else unfurls within you. An unexpected warmth that swells as his thumb brushes over your knuckles.
He draws in a shaky breath. “I know I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes, maybe too many, and that’s why we kept drifting apart in those four years we were married. But I want us to stay like this. Is that too much to ask for?” His voice cracks, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
The depth of emotion he shows takes your breath away, and your vision blurs as your own tears spill over. The raw honesty in his confession reaches a part of you that had long been buried under grief and guilt. But this isn’t grief—it’s something different, a warmth that wraps around you and fills the spaces that loss once consumed.
“Ricky…” you whisper, voice trembling. He blinks rapidly, tears tracing paths down his cheeks as he tries to manage a laugh, a hand lifting to wipe at his face. “Did I go too overboard?” he chuckles, awkwardly, brushing his fingers over yours, an attempt to ease the intensity.
But you can’t answer with words, your heart too full. Instead, you wipe your own tears away, watching him as he takes a deep breath and resumes eating, eyes still red-rimmed, his emotions raw and vivid between you. The silence that follows is... a little satisfying this time around. Your chest tightens, and you realize this feeling—this unexpected, overwhelming tenderness—is the spark you hadn’t felt in what feels like forever.
The confession... It did something to you. It made you feel things or you believed so.
You reach for his hand, this time without hesitation, and hold on as if anchoring both of you to this moment. A shared glance tells him everything you can’t yet put into words: you’re here, with him, and for now, that’s enough.
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AS THE DAYS PASSED FOLLOWING THAT UNEXPECTED DINNER, a subtle shift had occurred between you and Ricky. It had been a month since then, and despite your hectic lives—you, a dedicated nurse, and him, an ambitious lawyer—something had changed. You continued to sleep separately, a necessity due to your conflicting schedules. Late nights saw you returning home to find Ricky already asleep, and early mornings had him leaving before you awoke. This unspoken arrangement was born out of mutual respect for each other’s rest.
However, the reminder of the future haunted you. The date on your wrist, November 4th, hadn’t faded or smudged. It remained stark and vivid, a grim reminder of the fate you knew awaited Ricky, filling you with silent dread.
Despite your busy lives, the dinner at that small restaurant had stirred something unspoken between you. A shared tenderness had taken root, and in the brief pauses between work, you found yourself drawn to those moments that whispered of possibilities—moments that spoke of a bond that hadn’t existed before.
The room feels charged with an unspoken tension as you stand there, watching Ricky. The question slips from your lips, “Are we sleeping separately again?” masking the tremble in your voice with an attempt at confidence. Ricky’s eyes meet yours, an amused smile playing on his lips as he tilts his head. “Do you want to sleep with me?” he asks, casual yet knowing.
You stammer, trying to find an answer that won’t reveal how vulnerable you feel. “No—yes—but—” The uncertainty in your voice makes him chuckle softly, the sound sending warmth through your chest. The realization of your feelings for him washes over you again, clear and inescapable.
“It’s normal to want to sleep with your husband. Don’t worry,” he says reassuringly. His tone is light, yet there’s an edge of tenderness as he turns and walks to the bedroom. He pauses at the doorway, looking back with an expectant eyebrow raise, and you follow.
Inside, the dim light casts soft shadows. The atmosphere feels different tonight, heightened by the realization that, while you’ve shared this space before, this moment feels profoundly intimate. He hesitates for a moment, the usual playful confidence in his manner replaced by a quiet consideration.
Should he lie down first?
Wait for you?
Or speak?
“You don’t need to worry. I won’t touch you unless you want me to. We could even put a pillow between us if you prefer,” he says in a rush, trying to ease the tension. But his words leave you both flushed. You respond, flustered yet honest, “No—you can touch me—I mean...”
Ricky’s eyes widen, and a surprised silence falls over you both, broken only by your slightly quickened breaths.
Finally, you break it, murmuring, “So... do we sleep?” You wish the dim light hides your expression, but Ricky’s shifting on the bed signals that he’s as unsettled as you are. He lies down first, and you follow, settling into the bed with a space that feels simultaneously too close and too distant.
Minutes pass as the darkness deepens around you. You’re aware of every sound, every breath he takes, and the slight rustle of sheets as you both try to find comfort. The knowledge that he’s staying dressed out of respect doesn’t escape you, and neither does the chill that seeps through the room, despite the blanket. It’s enough to make sleep elusive, even as your heart drums with quiet, unspoken hope.
The air feels thick with tension as neither of you can fall asleep, despite the dim light and the shared silence. Ricky gently sits up, his voice breaking the stillness. “I’ll get changed into my night clothes—this is uncomfortable. You should get changed too,” he suggests. His words are practical, but they stir a shyness inside you. The thought of wearing shorts around him makes you feel self-conscious, though the blanket and darkness give you some comfort.
With a deep breath, you agree. You grab your oversized top and shorts, retreating to the bathroom to change. When you return, Ricky is already asleep, dressed in a soft T-shirt and shorts. His peaceful expression makes a pang of guilt settle in your chest. You feel both relief and unease at the same time, knowing he’s so close yet so far away.
You lie there, tense in the stillness of the night. Ricky’s hand lands instinctively on your stomach, the warmth of his touch sending a jolt through you. You hold your breath, carefully shifting his hand away. Just when you think you're safe, his leg shifts under the blanket, pressing gently between your legs. A rush of heat floods your chest as you gently push his leg away, silently exhaling in relief.
In the quiet, you watch him sleep. His messy hair, a small trail of drool escaping his lips—something inside you stirs. Without thinking, you bring your thumb to wipe away the drool, brushing it lightly against your shirt. You stare at him for a moment, your heart racing in ways you can’t fully understand.
For Ricky though,
He wakes to find you so close, your noses nearly touching. A small breath escapes him as he pulls back, but then he notices your body, curled into him—one of your legs and arms wrapped around him, as if clinging to his warmth to escape the cold. You’re nestled so comfortably against his chest, and though a small part of him wants to get up, he finds himself content in the moment.
He stares at you, watching as he slips his fingers through your hair, the quiet intimacy settling around him like a comforting blanket. When you stir, half-awake, he expects you to pull away. But you don’t. Instead, you bury yourself further into his chest, and he smiles, a little amused by your unconscious need for closeness.
“Morning... Baby,” he says softly, though he’s hoping you’ll move just enough for him to slip out of bed.
“Morningg,” you murmur, nuzzling his chest. He notices how you don’t seem to mind the nickname, a small sign that you’re still in that dreamy, sleepy state. He wants to pull away, but he doesn't want to disturb you, so he asks, “Can you move a bit, baby?”
You barely stir, your arms and legs still tangled with his. “Too cold,” you mumble, your voice muffled against his shirt.
“I know, baby. I’ll turn the heater on for you, is that good?” he whispers, his voice tender. He’s careful not to wake you fully, knowing you won’t even remember this when you wake up.
An hour later, you wake up alone in the bed, the soft comforter still wrapped around your legs. You stretch and yawn, rubbing your eyes, only to hear the door creak open. Ricky stands there, a plate in hand—an omelette and a fruit salad. You blink, unsure if you’re still dreaming, and pinch your cheek, just to make sure this isn’t some figment of your imagination.
“What's that?” you ask, your voice still thick with sleep.
“Breakfast in bed,” Ricky says with a playful grin, setting the plate down in front of you.
“For me?” you ask, surprised and touched.
“Who else?” he replies with a shrug, like it's the most natural thing in the world.
“Why...?” You blink at him, unsure of why he's being so considerate, so affectionate.
“Why not?” he answers, teasing, but there’s a sincerity in his eyes that makes your heart flutter.
You stare at the food in front of you, but the nerves kick in. “Well, uhm... I haven’t brushed.”
“It’s okay,” he reassures, waving off your concerns.
“No, it’s not. It’s gross. I do care about germs,” you argue, a bit embarrassed. Before he can say anything else, you rush off to brush your teeth, feeling a little self-conscious. You quickly freshen up, brushing your teeth with the toothpaste, hoping that’ll help with the lingering awkwardness.
When you return, you take a bite, and the emotion hits you harder than you expect. You don’t quite know why, but the tenderness of his gesture fills you with gratitude, and a soft lump forms in your throat.
“Why?” you ask again, your voice shaky, as you sip some water. The question has been swirling in your mind ever since you saw him standing there, holding that plate.
“Hm?” he hums, genuinely confused, not fully understanding why you're so emotional.
“Why are you being so nice... and romantic?” You wince after speaking, regretting your words, but you can't take them back now.
Ricky tilts his head, his smile fading slightly. “Like I said a month ago... I meant those words. I want us to stay like this... And not go back to how it was in those four years.. Are we really that immature to let it happen again?” The vulnerability in his tone catches you off guard, and for a moment, you can see the hurt in his eyes.
It's raw, honest, and you feel a knot twist in your chest, not having a reply to his genuine question.
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THE DAYS AND MONTHS THAT FOLLOW ARE UNEXPECTEDLY TENDER, filled with moments that remind you of what being husband and wife is meant to feel like. The shared smiles, lingering touches, and quiet mornings are sweeter than they have ever been, and for the first time in a long while, peace seems attainable. Yet, there is an undercurrent that stirs beneath it all—the date that looms, casting a shadow over your contentment.
November 4th.
With the month drawing nearer, your heart starts to tighten with an anxious grip. Paranoia seeps into the quiet moments, the fear of what November 4th could mean—what it has meant in the past—makes the days feel more fragile. Your mind races, replaying scenarios and doubts that you can’t shake off. Each sweet gesture, each kind word from him, is tinged with the knowledge that the date approaches, threatening to unravel everything you’ve rebuilt.
Ricky’s expression is heavy with exhaustion, dark circles under his eyes hinting at the long day he’s had. You offer, “I’ll heat up the dinner,” and turn toward the kitchen, but he stops you with a gentle grasp around your wrist. Before you can react, he pulls you back, pressing you against the wall. The soft strains of a romantic song drift from the living room, creating an intimate, almost fragile atmosphere.
He’s close—closer than usual—and you feel the warmth radiating from his body as well as the subtle scent of his cologne. The proximity sends your pulse racing.
“Ricky?” you say softly, confusion lacing your voice as you look up at him. His face is unreadable, the dim lighting casting a shadow over the tired lines of his features. His eyes meet yours, carrying an unspoken emotion.
“Mm?” he murmurs, his voice hushed, as if not to disturb the moment. His hands find their way around you, holding you securely against him, and he leans his chin on your head. The gesture feels protective, desperate even.
“What are you doing?” you ask, your words barely above a whisper, unsure if you’re seeking clarification or reassurance. His embrace tightens for a moment, and you feel his chest rise and fall against yours as he takes a deep breath.
“Can you stop calling me Ricky?” he says quietly, the request landing softly, yet weighted.
Surprise flashes through you. “What do you want me to call you?” you ask, voice muffled against his shirt. The question feels vulnerable, as if shifting something fundamental between you both.
“I don’t know... something like... baby, darling, honey... or anything,” he admits, a subtle flush spreading across his cheeks despite the solemn tone. You catch the shy dip of his eyes, and a faint smile tugs at your lips.
“You’re being quite demanding,” you tease, looking up into his face. His lips part slightly as he considers your words.
“This isn’t being demanding,” he counters, pausing just long enough for the silence to underline his meaning. His eyes search yours, raw and full of an unnamed plea. “I just want to spend my last months with you, thinking we’re just... normal. Like any other couple.”
His words sink in, bringing with them an ache that spreads through your chest. The silence that follows is heavy, laced with all the things unsaid and the truth that’s pressing in on both of you. You lift a hand, letting your fingers brush the hair at the back of his neck. His eyes soften, dark lashes casting shadows against his skin as he watches you.
There’s something fragile in this moment, a bittersweet understanding passing between you that makes your throat tighten. The future looms, uncertain and unkind, but for now, you’re here, held close, suspended in the tender present.
Ricky’s voice lowers, a tremor in its depths that betrays the weight of his words. “You might not believe me, but... I come from a reality where I’m dead. So, I hope we can at least be nice to each other in my last moments. Can you do that?”
A stunned silence follows, your breath catching in your throat as his confession hangs in the air. You believe him; how could you not when you come from the same reality? Eyes widening, you step back, raising your wrist to show the dark, unerasable mark: November 4th. The ink-like number seems to pulse, a constant reminder of a fate that binds you both.
Ricky’s eyes mirror your shock. He releases you, just enough to reveal his own wrist. There it is, the same haunting date. The mark seems alive, almost mocking, as if counting down with every heartbeat.
Neither of you speaks for a moment, the silence heavy with shared grief and realization. The next second, you’re in his arms again, your face buried in his chest as he pulls you close, his own face pressed into your hair. The world around you blurs, reduced to the rapid thumping of your heart and the warmth of his embrace.
“I... please don’t... leave me this time,” you plead, your voice breaking under the weight of your fear. The memory of finding him lifeless in the world you came from, the coldness of that reality, rushes back with a cruel force.
“I will try,” he whispers, his voice barely steady as he runs a hand down your back in a soothing gesture. “We changed the relationship, right? So maybe... just maybe, we can avoid death too.”
You both stand there, unmoving as the moment stretches out. It feels absurd, two souls transported from a fractured future, now clinging to each other in the present in a fragile hope. Yet the thought of letting go is unbearable, so you don’t. For now, the reality of the present is enough.
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RICKY’S FINGERS TREMBLE SLIGHTLY AS HE HOLDS OUT THE SMALL BOX, A HINT OF NERVOUSNESS CREASING HIS BROW. “This is for you.” His voice is softer than usual, his eyes searching yours for a response. The box is familiar, a relic from the present you left behind, steeped in memories. Inside is the ancestral ring, one that Ricky’s mother entrusted to you after his death—a token that held more value than any wedding ring could.
“I wasn’t... couldn’t give it to you before, but now... I’d like you to have it.” His voice is almost a whisper as he takes your hand, slipping the cool metal onto your finger. His touch lingers, warm and careful, as if anchoring the moment between you.
You look down at the ring, its delicate design catching the dim light and glistening softly. The weight of it brings back a rush of memories that mix grief with an unexpected warmth. Meeting his gaze, you let a small, genuine smile curve your lips. “Thank you. After you… I mean, after your death, your mother gave it to me,” you say, voice thick with the past, “but I’m glad it’s you giving it to me now.”
The way his eyes widen before softening speaks volumes—acceptance, regret, and hope, all blending seamlessly as he draws you closer.
Ricky’s expression shifts, a soft smile forming as he leans in, his body pressing yours gently against the bedroom wall. His breath mingles with yours, warm and scented faintly with his cologne. His eyes trace your features, holding a glimmer of something tender and fragile. You raise a brow in playful defiance, a silent challenge, and a sheepish smile tugs at his lips. Without another word, he cups your face, his thumb grazing your cheek, and leans in until the space between you disappears.
The first touch of his lips is tentative, testing. A shiver races down your spine as his mouth moves with a gentleness that makes your heart stutter. Your eyes flutter open for a second, catching the serene expression on his face before closing again as you respond, deepening the kiss. Your hands find their way to his shoulders, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as if anchoring yourself to reality.
When he finally breaks away, his forehead rests against yours, both of you breathing in short, uneven gasps. The room is silent except for the soft crackle of a song playing somewhere in the background. Ricky’s eyes open, and in them, you see a question—a hesitation laced with anticipation. “Do you want to go further?” His voice, barely above a whisper, holds a vulnerability that makes your pulse quicken.
You exhale softly, a hint of a smile teasing your lips as you match his boldness. “How far can you go?” The playful edge in your voice makes him chuckle, low and breathy.
“As far as you want to go.” The words are a promise, and before you can respond, his lips capture yours again, more confident this time, as his hand moves to the strap of your dress, gently sliding it off of your shoulders.
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THE NEXT FEW WEEKS PASS IN A COMFORTING CALM, the bond between you and Ricky strengthening with each passing day. You're no longer weighed down by the regret of the past, but instead, you focus on cherishing the present. Yet, there's still a lingering unease.
Ricky driving the car is something that continues to gnaw at you. It's not just a simple fear; it's the haunting memory of the future you came from, where that very action led to his tragic end. As November nears, the pressure builds. You look at the date on your wrist—November 4th—and the thought of losing him again, of it becoming reality, is too much to bear. Your chest tightens, and you feel a mix of helplessness and dread, hoping with every fiber of your being that this time, things will be different.
Ricky offers a reassuring smile, the kind that tries to mask his own unease as he softly says, “Chill, I’ll be back in an hour, alright?” His hand moves up to gently smooth your hair, eyes soft with understanding as he takes in the worry etched across your face. You cling tighter to his arm, voice trembling as you ask, “Is it important?”
He nods, and the hopeful part of you crumbles. The instinct to keep him close, to refuse, is almost overwhelming. But before you can protest, he leans forward, placing a tender kiss on your forehead. His hands slip down to rest on your shoulders as he looks at you earnestly.
“I promise I’ll be back. Now, will my pretty wife give me a smile so I can come back even sooner?” The playful plea tugs at your lips, and despite the fear swirling inside, you manage a small, forced smile. He chuckles softly, ruffling your hair before turning to leave.
You trail behind him to the door, eyes glued to the taillights of his car as they fade down the street. The ache in your chest sharpens, and you glance down at the ancestral ring on your finger, tracing its smooth surface as if the touch alone could make your wish come true: Please, come back safely.
The minutes stretch painfully long, and every ten minutes, you can’t resist sending a text, the same anxious message: “If you’re okay, just send a heart emoji.” True to his word, Ricky replies with a heart every time—until the fifty-minute mark.
The silence is deafening. Your heart thunders as you stare at your phone, willing the screen to light up. Nothing. The dread coils tighter, stealing the air from your lungs. You take a shaky breath, but it barely settles you. Panic sets in, and you hit the call button. The phone doesn’t connect; the ring tone never plays. Your chest tightens.
In desperation, you call Jay, your brother-in-law. His voice is laced with confusion as he picks up. “Jay, is Ricky with you?” The silence that follows your frantic question only amplifies your fear. “No, why? What’s going on?” he asks, suddenly serious. Before you can answer, he cuts the call, sensing the urgency and attempting to help in any way he can.
The next hour drags like an eternity, your anxiety swallowing every rational thought. You pace the room, eyes darting to the clock, phone clenched in your shaking hand. Then, after what feels like a lifetime, you hear the distant purr of an engine. Your pulse stutters as Ricky’s car comes into view, whole and unharmed.
But you don’t relax. Not until you see him. The door swings open, and there he is, frustration etched into his features as he steps inside. Your breath catches, relief and anger colliding within you.
Ricky's expression softens as he speaks, keeping his voice low despite the frustration. “Why’d you call Jay over something like this? My phone died while I was working. I charged it and got caught up in the case. It’s embarrassing.”
Your eyes well up, the weight of worry turning to a sting of hurt. “So? It’s not important?” Your voice wavers, raw with emotion. “I was terrified, Ricky! I didn’t want to lose you again. Sorry for being the clingy wife you’re ashamed of.”
Turning to leave, you barely make a step before he’s there, blocking your path. His eyes search yours, but instead of a defensive remark, he pulls you close, enveloping you in an embrace that tells you more than words could. His arms tighten, anchoring you to him as he murmurs in your ear, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s strange, but I promise I won’t say that again, okay?”
His breath is warm against your hair as he leans his cheek on your head, his heartbeat steady against your own erratic one. Despite the tension, you sense his understanding, a silent acknowledgment of your fear. He’s learning to hold your worry without judgment.
“I was so scared, Ricky. I thought I’d lose you all over again.” Your voice cracks, and he feels the tremor in your body. He wants to say the right thing, anything to soothe the tremble in your words, but all he can do is hold you tighter.
Both of you are haunted by that date imprinted on your wrists, “November 4th.” A reminder that looms like an uninvited shadow, a constant whisper of what could happen.
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THE DAY ARRIVES, a heavy silence filling the air between you and Ricky. His promise lingers like a protective shield around you both: he won’t drive, he won’t leave. His presence is a balm for the fear that pulses in your chest. As the two of you snuggle on the couch, the soft glow of the TV playing a rom-com, you turn to him with a worried look, your voice low and unsure.
“What if something bad happens while we’re in the house?” you whisper, nuzzling into his warmth. The thought of losing him, of the world continuing without him, feels unbearable.
Ricky shifts, his arm wrapping tighter around you as he looks down at you, his breath warm against your neck. “Nothing will happen. And if it does, I’ll protect you,” he assures, his tone strong and sure, though his own heart is heavy. He knows how much your fear weighs on you, and he wants to shoulder it for you.
But the thought of you living without him—he can’t imagine it. He brushes your hair from your face gently, his voice a soft promise. “I love you too much for that.” His words come out naturally, like it’s something he’s been holding back but feels right now to say. It’s the first time you hear him say it, and the weight of those words floods your heart with warmth, knowing this is real.
“I get it. I won’t put my life at risk,” he murmurs, though there’s a quiet uncertainty in his words, an unspoken truth that he would never let anything harm you—even at the cost of his own safety.
You glance up at him, your lips pressing together in a worried frown. “You better not,” you mumble, not able to let go of the fear completely. You’ve spent the whole day together, in the safety of your home, trying to ignore the impending dread that the date will pass and nothing will change. Watching TV, cooking together, each small moment a reminder of how much he means to you—and how fragile life can be.
You curl up closer to him, as if physically wrapping yourself around him can keep him safe. Your eyes glance at the clock, the seconds ticking by too slowly. Every moment spent together now feels like a treasure, and you want to hold on to it forever.
The two of you lie in bed, the soft glow of the nightlight casting a gentle warmth over your forms. His hand rests tenderly over yours, fingers interlocking. He watches you as you sleep, your face relaxed, peaceful. A quiet whisper escapes his lips: “I love you.” His eyes linger on your peaceful expression, your other arm still clinging to him as if you’re unwilling to let go even in sleep.
He leans over to turn off the lamp, and then his gaze falls to his wrist—where the date once was. It’s gone. A wave of disbelief washes over him. The tension that has gripped him for so long begins to melt away. Perhaps it wasn’t an omen after all, but a reminder that after November 4th, a new chapter awaited them both.
He takes a deep breath, reaching for your wrist to find the same thing: no date. Relief floods him, and he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, pulling you even closer into his arms, savoring the moment.
But he knows, as much as this moment feels like a new beginning, there will still be challenges ahead. The fear you carry about him driving is not something that will fade overnight. Your worry, rooted in a past he knows you can’t shake, will take time to heal. But for now, he holds you close, understanding, and promises silently that he’ll be patient, allowing you to find peace in your own time.
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TWO MONTHS HAVE PASSED SINCE THE FATEFUL DATE, and though life has taken you and Ricky through different stages, there’s an undeniable warmth between the two of you. Sitting at the family dinner table, surrounded by loved ones, the air is filled with laughter, conversation, and the quiet hum of joy.
Semi, now a cheerful five-year-old, eats her meal quietly, occasionally looking up with shy glances.
You glance over at Ricky, noticing him take a deep breath as he prepares to speak, his hand resting on the table near yours. It’s clear he’s nervous, even though it’s just family. He clears his throat, the words finally tumbling out: “So… We’re having a baby.”
There’s a beat of silence.
Ricky’s father scoffs, not giving him an ounce of reaction, while his mother rolls her eyes. “Oh, c’mon, you can fool us one time, not twice,” she says, clearly referencing the last family dinner, where you had tried to casually mention trying for a baby, only for him to play along. He felt the blame was entirely on him, but you knew the truth—it was a team effort.
You chuckle softly to yourself, leaning into Ricky’s side, your heart fluttering at the thought of a new life, a new chapter. He meets your gaze, his lips curving into a small smile, even amidst the teasing.
This moment, while filled with playful mockery, marks something deeper. You’re finally here together, stronger and more united than ever before. And this new adventure? It’s the start of a new journey that no one can take from you.
“Really, Y/n’s pregnant. We're having a baby,” Ricky says, his voice laced with excitement. His mother, skeptical, eyes you closely. “Is that true?”
Without waiting for Ricky’s confirmation, you nod, feeling his fingers intertwine with yours beneath the table, his touch calming your nerves.
"I won’t hesitate to beat your ass if this is fake," his dad grumbles, irritation mixing with a hint of hope.
Jay, barely containing his amusement at the scene, watches the family react, while Ricky proudly pulls out the ultrasound pictures, revealing the truth. His parents take turns looking at the images, jaws dropping in surprise. Jay, knowing already, can’t help but chuckle.
"Father was starting to question your masculinity. Glad you proved him wrong," Jay teases, earning a gentle nudge from Jieun, urging him to keep it light.
"Wait... So there’s a grandkid on the way?" Ricky’s mother recovers first, grinning with hopeful excitement. Ricky nods, and your heart swells at the thought of everything that's to come. This moment, this family, it feels like the beginning of something truly special.
Ricky’s mother leans forward, still processing, but the excitement is slowly bubbling up. “A grandchild? Really? My little boy having a little one? I’m going to spoil that baby so much.”
Ricky chuckles, glancing at you. “Well, you already spoil Semi enough, so I guess it’s fair.”
“Hey, I’m a great grandma-in-training,” she quips, giving Semi an affectionate pat. “But if you two need any advice, I’m here.”
Your heart swells seeing the warmth in her eyes. But then, Ricky’s dad, clearly trying to keep his cool, mutters, “I’ll believe it when I see a baby in my arms.”
“You’ll see him,” Ricky says, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “Or her, right, Y/n?”
You smile, feeling the weight of the moment. “Definitely,” you whisper, feeling a rush of emotion.
Jay, still grinning, can’t help but poke at his younger brother. “So, what’s the plan, huh? You two gonna have one of those perfect Pinterest-worthy baby showers or just skip the whole thing?”
Jieun smacks his arm lightly. “Don’t make them nervous, Jay. Let them enjoy the moment.”
Ricky laughs, looking over at you with that same loving gaze. “Honestly, I think we just need to take it one step at a time. But yeah, we’ll get there.”
“You know, when you have a baby, you’ll see just how much you need each other,” his dad says more seriously now, a rare moment of wisdom breaking through his tough exterior. “It’s not just about being a parent, it’s about being there for each other even more.”
Ricky nods, his hand tightening around yours as if to say, “I’ve got you, always.”
The whole family seems to settle into a comfortable silence after that, everyone soaking in the news in their own way, but all of them sharing the same unspoken bond.
“Guess we’ll need one more chair for next time,” Jay jokes, breaking the silence, and everyone bursts out laughing.
You glance at Ricky, his eyes full of joy, and your heart feels fuller than it ever has. There’s something about being surrounded by family—being with him—that feels right. “Yeah, we’ll need one more chair,” Ricky agrees softly, his gaze drifting to the future, to the family that’s just beginning.
In the end, you and Ricky had proven the vows true—til death do us part. Through all the challenges, fears, and moments of doubt, you had always found your way back to each other. The promises made, the trust built, and the love that had endured everything now stood as a testament to what you had together. With every touch, every shared laugh, and every quiet moment, you knew that no matter what, your hearts were bound—for life—and beyond.
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passengerprincessblog · 2 months ago
Text
“Lewis, Next Door”~ pt 1 Lewis Hamilton x Reader
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Warning: age gap, alcohol?
Summary: Coming home from university, Y/N expects a quiet reunion with family—until she finds herself face-to-face with the enigmatic Lewis Hamilton, her dad’s famous neighbor and friend. What starts as a dull evening soon turns unexpectedly electric when Lewis offers more than just small talk.
I hadn’t been home all semester. Between studying, late-night group projects, and the occasional breakdown, the past few months at uni had been… a lot. I’d pushed through, and even though I’d missed my parents, there was something about finishing this term that made me feel a little invincible. I was finally here, though, bags slung over my shoulder as I hugged my mom in the doorway and let my dad ruffle my hair in that way he always did.
Home sweet home.
After the greetings and settling in, I noticed someone else was around. Our neighbor, Lewis Hamilton, was back too. Usually, he was off racing, so it was a rare sight. I wasn’t someone who followed F1 religiously, but I knew Lewis was a big deal—and the whole “dad’s friend” thing only made it more surreal. The few times we’d run into each other, I’d been struck by how effortlessly confident he was. Attractive? Absolutely. Intimidating? Without a doubt. But, honestly, I’d never thought much beyond that. He was just Lewis, the neighbor.
That night, my dad was throwing a big party to celebrate his latest product launch. Fancy guests, fancy decorations, fancy everything—the whole nine yards. I’d barely unpacked, and here I was, getting ready to play dress-up and smile politely for a parade of strangers. My friends were out clubbing tonight, living it up, and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy. But I loved my dad, so here I was, hair styled, makeup on point, feeling like I’d stepped into someone else’s life for the night.
As the party got into full swing, I did my best to stay interested, though I kept glancing at my phone, imagining my friends dancing somewhere with loud music and neon lights. Instead, I was here, weaving through clusters of my dad’s colleagues. He was chatting with a group of important-looking men, so I took my chance and approached him, feeling like a little kid again as I asked, “Can I please just have one drink?”
He shot me a disapproving look. “No. You know the answer.”
“Fine,” I muttered, trying not to let my frustration show. I wandered around a bit, catching snippets of adult conversation that were all about business deals and tax write-offs. Glamorous.
Finally, I spotted a lonely champagne glass on a table. I glanced around, and with a little thrill of rebellion, I picked it up, taking a sip. It was cold and crisp, and even though I’d never been a huge fan of champagne, it felt like a tiny slice of freedom. A few more sips, and I was actually starting to relax.
That’s when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned, and there he was—Lewis, giving me a knowing smile.
“I see you like my drink?” he teased, eyes glinting with amusement.
My stomach dropped. Oh god, I’d taken his champagne? “Oh my god. I’m so sorry… I didn’t know… I can get you a new one if you want, I just—”
He chuckled, shaking his head. His laugh was low and warm, and something about it made me relax, just a bit. “Nah, I’m messing with you. It’s fine. I don’t even really drink anyways.” He grinned, flashing a glimpse of a gold grill that made him look both mischievous and effortless, a vibe that seemed distinctly Lewis.
I managed a shy nod, suddenly unsure of what to do with my hands. “Oh… good. Thanks.” I couldn’t believe I was so nervous. But he just kept looking at me, his gaze both curious and relaxed.
He leaned in slightly, lowering his voice. “You bored? I’m so bored. No offense to your dad, of course.”
I let out a laugh, surprised at how blunt he was. “It’s boring,” I admitted, feeling a little guilty, but somehow knowing he understood. He had this whole wild, glamorous life, and a party like this was probably as dull as watching paint dry for him.
“So, what? You’re back from uni, huh? That’s crazy. I remember when you were like, ten,” he says, a teasing smile playing on his lips.
I feel my cheeks heat up with a pang of embarrassment. Here I was, feeling all cool and grown up, and he still saw me as a kid. Great.
“Yep,” I reply, trying to keep my tone light but failing to hide the faint annoyance.
“Well, you’re better than me,” he shrugs. “I never finished school.” I glance at him, surprised he’s trying to keep this conversation going. Usually, we barely exchanged two words, and now, here we were, alone, talking like… friends? Something more? I didn’t know.
“Well… yeah, but you’re a millionaire,” I say, trying to sound casual, though there’s a little hint of playfulness in my voice. I’m not exactly flirting, but maybe a little. Just testing the waters.
He raises an eyebrow, smiling at me but seeming almost uncomfortable at the mention of his money. He shrugs again. “You’re not exactly struggling either,” he teases back.
Was… that a flirt? Or was I just imagining it? It’s just the way he said it, the way his gaze lingers a moment longer than it should. My pulse quickens, but I try to play it cool.
“No… not exactly,” I say, catching his hint and matching his tone. I glance around, making a point about how dull this party is. “Just right now.”
He chuckles, and there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Maybe next time, you come to one of my parties,” he says. It sounds more like a command than an invitation, like he’s decided I’ll be there.
I nod softly, trying to hide the thrill in my expression. He’s really inviting me? He seems amused, almost as if my reaction is endearing.
“Yeah, maybe,” I say with a slight shrug, finishing off the champagne. I feel his eyes on me, and when I look up, he’s studying me, like he’s considering something.
Then he breaks into a grin. “I could give you my number,” he says, casual but direct.
I raise an eyebrow, trying to mask the excitement bubbling up. “Oh?”
“So you can tell me next time you’re bored,” he adds, giving me a cheeky wink.
I feel my cheeks flush as I pull out my phone. He takes it from me, putting his number in. My hands are shaking just a bit when he hands it back.
“There,” he says with that familiar grin. “Now you’ll be set.”
“Cool. Thanks,” I say, somehow managing to keep my voice steady. Inside, though, I feel my heart racing.
He glances back at the party, then back at me, giving me one last wink. “I should probably go talk to your dad. See you around, Y/N.”
And then he’s gone, leaving me standing there, still holding the empty champagne glass, my mind spinning. His number. His number. A part of me feels like I’m floating.
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Oo La La 🙈
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