#i miss the one that id go to as a child i wish it hadnt closed
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FUUUCK I WANNA GO ICE SKATING SO BADD!!!!
#ITS BEEN TOO LONGGGG I MISS IT I MISS DANCING AND MOVING AND THE ADRENALINE OF SPEEDING ON THE ICE!!!!#in another life i wouldve been a figure skater. if we had lived somewhere different…#and it sucks so bad bc the last time i went i could tell im losing my skilll sobs.. because literally the only rinks nearby are HOURS away#i miss the one that id go to as a child i wish it hadnt closed#i used to be so talented…😞
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you know i actually think this is one of the worst fucking parts of csa and incest. i despise admitting it, i absolutely dispise it but theres still times when i miss him. not most times. but theres times. theres still times. theres times when i wish i could pretend all the shit just didn't happen. i tried. there were times when i tired. talking to him was only more red flags. but i missed talking to him. were both insane and hes more insane than me but growing up sometimes i felt like maybe because of that at least we understood each other. i do understand him better than anyone else. for the most part he doesnt understand me anymore. but it scares me how well he does at times. three summers ago when i had a mental breakdown i picked up the phone and called him for the first time in years crying like some foolish child wanting her daddys comfort. clearly, i hadnt learned my lesson well enough. sometimes i still want to. foolish and short cited. it was not always bad and that is what makes it hard. if it was it would be easier. i still remember. he would take me to his architecture studio. he taught me how to make mosaics. hed let me help him on his projects, out on the worksite id be measuring and cutting and putting up mozaics. id stay up with his wife at night and make moonstone lamps. he made me sets of moonstone jewerly. i still have them. he made me jewerly and toys out of leather, delicately painted and cut. he taught me how to paint. he taught me how to draw some things. hed stay with me and drew all the things i wanted him too, dragons and portraits of my lps and whatever pokemon i was obsessed with. i still have them. they still smell like him. my artstyle still has his style within it, spirals and swirls so distinctive, a certain surrealism and abstraction, a obsession with gold. down south we would go digging through the dacian ruins in dobrogea, come back with old pieces of ancient pots and pans. he knew history, much of it. he knew theology. he knew anthropology. he still does. when i was little he would buy me these paleontology sets i was obsessed with, youd have to dig out little plastic dinosaur bones, wed spend hours by the black sea as i dug through them. i always wanted to be a paleontologist. is that why i do anthropology now? is that why a fascination and longing for the ancient is within me? he would take me to church. we spend new years in a monestary, sung verses echoing in its small wooden, painted frame. we spend many nights in them. the smell of frankensece in the air. i still burn it. hes still all over me. hes still in my blood. blood of my blood, he is my blood. lately when i look in the mirror i dont see him anymore, but i still know hes there. i look like his mother. i have his eyes and his hair, but lighter. i have the same bad teeth and the same cigarette obsession and my laugh sometimes cracks like his. he was sick. he is sick. he had to give me his sickness because he couldnt carry it alone. unfair. but i still feel responsible for him. i still miss him. i still do. i still remember the reasons i miss him. i missed him. i wanted him to be around more there were times as a child when id cry and think, at least he woukd understand. i hated him. and never wanted to be around him again. and yet i still loved him. what a nightmare. i wish i didnt remember anything at all
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can i just,, rant about south park? (spoiler warning obv)
I never thought id be into basic american adult tv buthere we are- I recently got into it, feb 19th i started watching and finished the whole 26 seasons and two games (sot and tfbw) in a month. Just finished tfbw game earlier today and almost lost my mind fr bc wth man.... anyway, theres your background for how mentally ill i am, now-
South park characters have so much detail in their characters, right down to the little things, like cartman having to finish singing sail away or kenny liking oragami, like??? i love the little character details that nobody thinks about hello??
Its so hard to take them seriously with that stupid artstyle (the artstyle has grown on me and i love it sm but still, theyre hella goofy) but seriously some parts cut deep- especially the whole fucking covid thing, never in my life did i think id cry at fUCKING SOUTH PARK ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I see a lot of angst and it actually makes sense??? And just,, a lot of stan's stuff is really depressing, i hate the episode(s) 'youre getting older' holy fuck. The fact that stan knows how to drive at 8 years old most likely because his dad is an alcoholic who drives drunk too is graaAAA,, I feel so bad for butters too, the innocent child who gets all the trauma dumped on him 💀 none of the kids in south park are safe from trauma, not even 'new kid' (they fr made you choose a parent, dude.....) one of my favorite serious moments though actually is when kenny tries to get them to remember his deaths, the like "TRY AND FUCKING REMEMBER." is so dramatic and im fbedhunfinjecnijef
also cartman being the only one to remember kenny's deaths waa,, Cartmanland he says 'what kenny? he dies all the time' and when kenny tries to make the others remember,, cartman isnt there so á, then cartman isnt shocked when kenny escapes wherever tf cthuhlu sent everyone. cartman did drink kenny's ashes so that could be the reason he remembers epic
also also, i didnt even think about it before until i seen just kenny and kyle at the bus stop, but stan and cartman moving away and just having two of the main four left at the iconic bus stop scene is so upsetting,, I enjoy the older seasons best 💔 Like season 10 and earlier man,, their early seson voices too omg <3 When they started doing season long stories was kind of annoying (edit bc new episode dropped, they put cartman back lmao,, still missing stan though man...)
Switching topics- No wonder style is more popular than stendy, it has more content than stendy even though theyre cannon dating 💀i think cartman and wendy interaction more actually. Wendy's kind of cool and i wish theyd make an effort to show her and stan together more often (even small things like they do with creek) and a few times its even shown how little stan cares, like with the texting thing or the time they broke up for a bit stan had said he hadnt talked to her for weeks... Stan doesnt deserve wendy tbh, i also always forget she killed someone for stan lol, they really dialed her crazy back,,
I probably have more random thoughts but these are the main ones,, the little guys have been doing laps around my brain for a month straight and i feel like im going to explode
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ayye, im glad you like the bottle idea! id be happy to let you use the idea for a fic, go right ahead! :D
i cant tell you some stuff about c!krabs' childhood life because thatll be for a fic im planning on making, but i can tell you a couple of details!! c!krabs is obviously mexican american, similar to myself she has two mexican parents but was born in a majorly american place. she was usually sheltered from going outside of her property and engaging with too many village folk because her parents didnt want her to get smarter than them, in short they were selfish a$$hats. they always used to claim that they wanted to protect c!krabs and keep her safe, but she was pretty similar to how she was when shes older and didnt completely buy it. thats all im gonna expose about the parents cause its gonna be used for lore but i can share more information on her general life in the past! she lived in a two story house that had a small backyard that she could go in every now and again. she had a bit of freedom, sometimes she would be able to go out to the shops with one of her parents in very close proximity. they would give her a small amount of money each time and let her buy anything she wanted with that spending money, which she used on paper and pens/pencils. each time she recieved money she saved a little bit and kept the collected money inside of a box under her bed where she kept other things that she held dear. sometimes she also used to sneak out of the house at night by sliding down the roof from her window and landing on the pile of hay in the backyard and jumped the fence. she went out on the town and was fascinated by the blacksmith, the glowing metal, the way he forged such a beautiful and powerful weapon out of a stick and some ore fascinated her. she also thought the villages welder was really sick as well, the way they repaired so many different things, the sparks that flew every time they welded the metal filler rod in the imperfections was so cool to c!krabs. she was only ever able to see them every so often though, because the townspeople werent very friendly. most of the people were white americans. they werent as bad to c!krabs' parents because they helped out a lot in the village, but since c!krabs was just a child that wandered around at night, she was often ridiculed, made fun of, and discriminated because shes hispanic which was very obvious due to her tan skin, having a hard time speaking english because of being sheltered, and her accent. so she wore a cloak whenever she went out. she never really had any childhood friends other than c!tubbo and c!fundy then.
but yeah man, c!krabs is a money maker, what can i say? shes making bank!! and yeah, she can replace her iron parts! thats one of the reasons she learned how to weld and blacksmith after all! and of course this means that every now and then c!krabs would weld onto herself some super sick attatchments! sometimes when she participates in wars she welds spikes onto her iron knuckles so that her punches really hurt. (i just thought of this but what if one day c!krabs and c!george were doing a trade and just hanging out when c!george makes a really good trade to c!krabs but in return she has to weld herself a cat ear on the left side of her head and make her iron hand have a sort of padded-like look to it like a cat. she begrudgingly did it and when she showed c!george, he took a picture of her and sent it to the general messages of the server through his comm and said "GUYS KRABS ISNT PART GOLEM SHES ACTUALLY PART CAT!!!" and everyone was either confused, playfully disgusted, or laughing their a$$es off and c!krabs was just like "GEORGE WHAT THE F-CK GUYS DONT LISTEN TO HIM HES COLORBLIND")
honestly if c!quackity hadnt jumped to conclusions im sure that he and c!krabs would be super sick homies for sure. but she DOES give therapy to anyone who asks for it, no matter who it is. she would just take her weapons and splash potions of poison with her in case it was ever someone who she didnt trust like c!schlatt, which he did have quite a few appointments with her during his manburg days.
Aw man :( That’s sad about her childhood! Does she stll somehow miss her parents? Is there no contact at all? I do love though that she has been interesting in blacksmithing and iron work for a while now! If I remember correctly c!Krabs was turned into an Iron Golem Hybrid correct? I sadly can’t find the first post atm :( But if I remember correctly it is in a really sad way ironic how she loved iron works before
Yo that’s such a smart idea! Adding spikes to her knuckles etc! I’m guessing it doesn’t really hurt so it’s fine? I mean the adding parts to her body, if that hurts. But I do love her shenanigans with c!George haha, I’m sure she had problems living that down after that haha
Bit sad about c!Quackity’s and c!Krabs relationship :( Really wish the two could be friends but c!Quackity screwed that up himself sooooo, oh well
Oh that is an intersting tidbit though that c!Schlatt was in for therapy with her 👀how did she feel about that? Conflicted or like she genuinley wanted to help him, maybe even hoping that helping him would help in return the others suffering under his rule?
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gothank you @slutteryingreen for tagging me to uhhh. do this deep dive i guess.
1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black ideally but like, whatever’s there in practice? i seem to have got hold of an aqua blue bastard right now and i feel somewhat foolish
2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? i love the country but i need to be in a city where everything is convenient and it feels like im part of.... something at least. the idea of being far from amenities is quite frightening to me given how paranoid i can be lmao
3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? i know i already play guitar but i would like to be actually genuinely good at it rather than mediocre. i also would like to be better at doing makeup, and i’d really love to be able to make my own clothes alas i can’t even work a sewing machine
4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? i do not
5. What was your favourite book as a child? omg megan horrible histories is such a shout. i did love those dragonology/egyptology/pirateology books though i still have them somewhere cause im not throwing away QUALITY like that
6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers
7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Oh To Be A Gender Non Conforming Vampire
8. Paper or electronic books? paper
9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my assorted flashy blazer collection
10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i mean.... it’s unusual, and i suppose that makes it feel very personal to me. but then also i love my nicknames/alternative names so much, i have genuinely considered changing it, but then i also like the idea of going by several variously
11. Who is a mentor to you? ummm. literally? my supervisor
12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? i still daydream about being a musician, that hasnt changed since i was really small haha. though sometimes in my daydreams i am also a screenwriter/director maybe. i don’t know. id hate to be super famous though megan is on the money, gotta be niche
13. Are you a restless sleeper? hmm, i take ages to get to sleep but when im out i am OUT. as in people have to make sure im not dead out.
14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? in every sense of the word!
15. Which element best represents you? this is probably just from astrology shit but i think air is also quite representative of me!
16. Who do you want to be closer to? oh to be close to someone! in this economy...
17. Do you miss someone at the moment? SEE ABOVE. everyone!!!!!
18. Tell us about an early childhood memory: my two cousins arguing over who got to give me a horse-ride in my nana’s living room, meanwhile i’m crying in the corner begging them not to fight
19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? oh take your pick! chicken hearts, ostrich, springbok.... all very delicious would recommend
20. What are you most thankful for? im very loved by my family and friends 🥺 even though i can get insecure and not realise it, it’s something i need to commit to heart more often.
21. Do you like spicy food? yes but my body does not. doesn’t stop me though!
22. Have you ever met someone famous? ive met miles kane! and jason manford. and some randos from coronation street. oh and kate mulgrew. and lee mack, who was getting my train along with catherine tate. there’s probably more ive forgotten.
23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? lol NO but i do have a planner because if i didnt my life would have fallen apart completely by now.
24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? pen.
25. What is your star sign? libra
26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? crunchy... but i also don’t eat cereal. ive fully gone off milk (no pun intended)
27. What would you want your legacy to be? that i created something beautiful or though-provoking, or at least funny
28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? ahah if i didnt like reading doing what i do then id be FUCKED. i just finished reading the ebb-tide by robert louis stevenson!
29. How do you show someone you love them? i get them something nice... i suck at expressing it because i’m so nervous it won’t go down well. a gift does nicely to get around that.
30. Do you like ice in your drinks? i guess?
31. What are you afraid of? failing.... being forgotten.....rejection.... oh and wasps, hugely. bug sounds freak me the fuck out!!!!
32. What is your favourite scent? woody, earthy rain smells. and jasmine/honeysuckle too i suppose
33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? i... whatever they go by????
34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? my house would be so beautifully hideous and full of beautifully hideous clothes.
35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools, just cause i can’t be dealing with salt water in my nose where it has no business being
36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? i .... GUESS i would turn it in to see if anyone had lost it, but you can bet i’d be fuming
37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? no!!! i think i’m too short-sighted to pick most of them out. really mad about that actually why did you ask
38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? im not planning to have kids but i did come to a conclusion that, while formerly i would have simply told them to be kind, i would also tell them to be smart. because natural intelligence aside critical thinking is a GIFT and they should rightly question everything rather than taking it as gospel.
39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? urgh i know exactly what i would get and if covid/money/parental expectations truly were no object i’d be getting little fragments of cathedral architecture from all the cities i’ve lived in tattooed on my wrists.
40. What can you hear now? the garage door creaking open under our flat
41. Where do you feel the safest? at home, with a cat curled up on my bed.
42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? insecurities yes.... anxieties.... fears.... all that. i should get therapy probably
43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? it would not be permanent because i do NOT want to live without modern niceties but i WOULD go back to the eighteenth century/regency.... and just meet some people i’ve been reading about in the flesh, and see if they live up to the hype.
44. What is your most used emoji? red love heart emoji....
45. Describe yourself using one word. odd...
46. What do you regret the most? not sticking up for people being bullied at school. i know it was a self preservation thing at the time and i was a kid and didnt necessarily know better but like.... i wish i hadnt tried to distance myself from it, i could have been a lot more empathetic and made the world a bit kinder for people going through it, you know?
47. Last movie you saw? belle!
48. Last tv show you watched? succession
49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. you know when you give your cat a gentle shove and it rolls over dramatically onto its back? that’s tipcat.
i tag @ceolfriths @wutheringdyke @mycravatundone @colubride @renfield @goblinmarquess
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Hydrangea - Chapter 1
The home was large and imposing. Located on the second largest island, in the Stockholm archipelago, it was connected to Stockholm by a bridge, which meant it was in the perfect location to quickly reach the rest of civilization whenever the moment was required -- but was enough out of the way that I didn't have to be bothered by anyone. The quiet location of the home allowed me the peace and privacy recent events, had made so valuable.
Upon stepping inside, I noted the dust that covered every single surface within the home; and on the kitchen table -- sat a magazine from six years ago. It had been a while since anyone used this place. It had been in our family for several generations, and although it was grand and beautiful in the summer, it was a hard place to live in the winter. Just heating it, was a small fortune, especially considering it had no protection or barriers to help shield it from the ferocious frozen winds, that relentlessly lasted the coldest months of an already savage cold.
My tiny Pomeranian, Max, took a moment to sniff around. He was as fearless as he was adorable, and I could only pray that he managed to stay out of trouble. Max was my loyal little man, and when i was at my lowest, he really helped me keep going. I had given up on myself, but I couldnt let my little Max down. I leaned down and gave him a quick back rub, before he trotted off to sniff around some more. I could only imagine the sensory overload all this was to a little city dog, that now had an entire new world to investigate.
I walked around the house, going from room to room, opening up windows to let in the fresh air. I peeked over at my neighbors house, and was pleased to see people were there.
Back when I was growing up, I would come here every summer, without fail. During that time, I had managed to develop amazing friendships with the children who had lived next door -- Bill and Eija Skarsgard. Bill was the tall and lanky boy who would always have scrapes and bruises, and absolutely zero fear whatsoever. Eija, was just as bold as her older brother. She never failed to be confident in any situation -- even when I was hesitant about something. In fact, if I tried to chicken out, or god forbid, not even try, she always found a way to change my mind. I was a naturally timid child, but they would have none of it. There were 3 older brothers, and although theyd often humor us, they were too old to play our silly games of pretend. But looking back on the events that led me here, I couldn't help but wish I’d stayed that sweet timid girl, that cried when i caught a fish, because id made its mouth bleed. Being fearless and passionate hadnt gone well for me.
These days, from what I'd seen online and read about in articles, it seemed that almost all of the Skarsgard brothers were actors. I remembered the father was some sort of artistic type, and was shocked his sons had followed suit, all but one of them, got so embarrassed by his unapologetic nudity. The boys I grew up playing "make believe" with as children, were now critically acclaimed actors. Not only that but beautiful ones at that! Bill had grown into quite the looker. He was handsome by anyone's standards, with his rich and dark brown hair, sinful full lips, chiseled facial features and penetrating green eyes. Looking at him in magazines, it was mind-blowing that this was the same boy that helped me build dams out of stones, or dig in the dirt for hours. I was sorry I'd lost touch with them but was too shy to reach out to them now that they were famous. That wasn't why I missed them, although I'm sure that's what they'd think. I hoped that the fame hadn't gone to their heads and that they were still the friendly, free-spirited family that I had always remembered them to be before I couldn't find the time to come back to this place.
When you're a teenager, you don't want to escape the rat race; you want to be in the thick of it. I was by no means a party girl, but I did enjoy an active social life in my teens, and all through college. I was obsessed with getting good grades and was a bit of an overachiever, so I kept myself busy. I was always aloof with boys because frankly, they all seemed more trouble than they were worth. I had high standards and was of the mindset that I would rather be alone than settle for someone perfect for me. Then I met Adam.
Adam appeared perfect, at least at the surface. He was naturally athletic and tall, attractive by conventional standards; and very funny -- as well as charismatic and successful. He honestly had it all, or so I thought. People, myself included, were instinctively drawn in by him. Adam could always be counted upon for a good time with a great story. He was your typical all-american boy next door that you wanted to do bad things with. It’d actually flattered me, when he took an interest in me, and tirelessly pursued me.
If I had to describe myself, physically, I was fortunate enough to be naturally conventionally attractive as well. However, I had a standoffish vibe. In my defense, resting bitch face is a thing that can’t be fixed for some people, but with every cloud, there's a silver lining. Especially since it's saved me from numerous creeps approaching me, and at least gave me the illusion that I blended in, and didn't draw much notice. I HATED being the center of attention. On a Friday night, you're more likely to find me at home curled up on my couch engrossed in a good novel -- rather than dealing with strangers and drunk people.
I had a very secure career as a business analyst, for a big utility company; so I was not the person you ever wanted to see. I analyzed our various departments and employees, to always be sure, we work at our most financial efficiency, and if I did come to see you, it wasn’t because to give you a high five. As long as I kept us out of the red, and looked professional and clean, they really couldn't have cared less about aging or being fashionable.
As time progressed within our relationship, I thought nothing of it when Adam got a new assistant at work named Alexis. Alexis had a lovely face and Victoria's Secret body. She was slender, and never appeared to have a single strand of hair out of place. A few friends made comments, but I defended her, annoyed people only looked at her superficially, and didn't take her seriously. I had suffered this same plight, my entire life, so I refused to acknowledge her beauty as anything suspicious. She was brilliant and tenacious, and her organizational skills were spectacular, and coming from me, that's quite a compliment. She also knew a lot about healthy eating habits and managed to share diet and exercise tips with Adam when he started to find it difficult to fit in some of his suits. I thought it was sweet of him to make a new friend, and treat her like a peer and looking back, I want to choke myself. I was, quite frankly, the most naive, trusting idiot on the planet.
It started simply; she would occasionally "forget" to give him some messages from me and once in a while laughing a little too much at one of his jokes that just wasn't as funny, or always would touch his arm or back or shoulder. Honestly, it was a tint bit annoying, but he had always been a handsome, charming guy, that made people feel comfortable. She wasn't the first one to be a bit too familiar, but at the end of the day, he loved me and wanted to marry me. I had no reason to not trust him because of her actions. If I'm honest, I probably should confess I am a bit of a reclusive type and am not very attentive or needy. Alone time is right up there with oxygen, for me, so I have to trust completely, or I’ll drive myself nuts.
If I’d paid closer attention, id have questioned why he started staying later and later at the office. I just assumed he was taking on more cases, that he had gained from all the free publicity when he had represented a notorious South American cartel crime lords son, and saved him from what was thought to be a certain a guaranteed death sentence. He’d still received a life sentence, but considering the 74 crimes had been guilty of, that was damn near a miracle! So, I didn’t mind when he had to cancel several dates with me. In fact, I was proud of him for getting more work, rising in the ranks of the legal hierarchy as well. Then there was his sudden disinterest in looking at houses with me. One of the most significant conflicts in our relationship had always been that I refused to move in together until we were married. Since we were going to be getting married at the end of summer, he had been foaming at the mouth to pick out our future home, but now it was like he planned on buying a house after we were married. I didn't let it bother me though, I figured that because of his busy work schedule, it would just be easier for me to take photos of the houses for him, and put them all in an online portfolio for him to review at his convenience. I even went as far as completely buying his bullshit excuse of "needing something to hold back his hair out of his eyes, while he was at the gym" when I found a woman's hair tye in his fucking bathroom. (Believe me, if I could go back and slap the shit out of myself --) :
It wasn’t until I received a call from my gynecologist with the results from my yearly pap smear -- that I was doused in the cold hard reality of what was going on. I had chlamydia, and quite frankly -- I wanted to cut his manhood off and make him eat it, I was so mad. I stormed into his office and burst through the doors dramatically slamming the test results on his desk in front of him. And you want to know the embarrassing part? I still didn't think it was Alexis.
“What dirty ass whore, have you been sticking your dick in? Who was worth throwing us away, because its fucking over.” I said menacingly enough, he scooted back a bit.
“I dont think you should talk about her like she cant hear you, for fucks sake,” he said looking over at Alexis who continued to work quietly and avoid eye contact with me; almost pretending as if nothing were wrong and she could not in fact hear me.
I was at a complete loss. I stood there with my mouth agape, trying to process this information, and when I could feel the lump in my throat rise, and the tears threatened to fall, I turned on my heel and left, without saying another word.
Looking back, I should have noticed several signs that something was amiss.
About six months ago, he became very concerned with his appearance; hitting the gym, eating healthy, buying anti-aging products, investing in several expensive wardrobe pieces, getting a new hairstyle. I had found it funny that at 30 years old, he was having a mid-life crisis. I’d tease him about it a little bit, and he’d just roll his eyes and say he wasn’t a natural stunner like me.
I’ve always been very low maintenance, but that’s because my body knows it has to keep it together because I’m not doing a bunch of crazy stuff to stay young. I’m totally fine with gray hairs, wrinkles and wearing my Juicy tracksuits that haven’t been in style, for a decade. There were better odds that I’d get superpowers than I’d get Botox.
I had been so blind. Such a fool.
When Adam came by my home to pick up his possessions he’d left there over the years, she came along and even had the audacity to come inside with him. She had this smug look on her face, and kept whispering to Adam and giggling. I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me but was a lady dammit... I held it together until they finally left, and as I closed the door and locked it behind them, I pressed my forehead to the door, willing myself to stay strong, but my legs got so weak, and the air felt like it’d been knocked out of me. And I suddenly felt far too heavy to stand. I crumpled to the floor, and curled myself into the fetal position, and cried like I, ve never cried in my entire life. Hysterical, slobberyface, sobbing with boogers, till my throat and diaphragm hurt, and then I cried some more.
My heart was broken. I felt like my life was over, and my chance at happiness had left with him. I sunk into a pretty deep depression and stopped cleaning the house and speaking to anyone outside of work. If it hadn't been for my loyalty to Max, I don't know if I would of left my house. I had to take care of Max tho, so I pressed on although I was a shell of my old self.
I’d torture myself looking at their social media accounts, with all their cute little pictures and sappy comments. I’d never been one to post 1000 pictures of my life or write to my boyfriend. I saw every day, professions of my love for all the world to see. I updated my Instagram maybe once a month, unlike Alexis, who seemed to update hers about once an hour. It was disgusting.
That’s how I saw the hydrangea bushes.
I always loved hydrangeas and had asked Adam if I could plant some at his office, and he’d always said they were too problematic. I’m an analyst, so rather than argue, I gathered various varieties and strains, what their strengths and weaknesses were, what colors were offered, how often they bloomed and what was required to keep them alive. I had presented Adam with the top 3 hydrangea candidates in folders that were the color they’d bloom to be, and was rather pleased with myself. He’d been busy at the time and handed the folders off to Alexis, promising to look them over later. I asked him a few times if he’d gotten a chance to look them over and he’d get annoyed, so I just let it go.
Now I was sitting here, seething with rage, looking at Alexis, posing next to a sizeable Bloomstruck hydrangea bush holding my motherfucking folder.
I don’t know what came over me, but I had to destroy that bush.: I stayed up all night, figuring out the best strategy. Finally, I decided to go by his office before sunrise, since no one would be around, for me to douse said bush in lighter fluid and walk away to let it soak in. Eventually, once they had arrived at the office a little bit later, I would wait for them to all be inside and then casually stroll on by and toss a lit match in the bush.
Burn baby, burn!
His office building was made out of bricks and the flowering bed was also encased in bricks; there was no risk of it getting out of control.
I jogged by, splashing the contents all over the bush, and then crossed the street to the parking garage, where I took the stairs up to the sixth floor, where I could see them arrive without being seen. People never look up.
It didn't take long before I saw Adam’s shiny black Mercedes pull into his reserved parking space, and imagine my surprise when Alexis got out the passenger side. I guess he was giving her rides to work now too, or maybe they even lived together. Frankly, I didn't care, but they were not getting happily ever after, with my favorite fucking flowers!
They kissed and held hands, in front of God and everybody. It was repulsive and so unprofessional. He pulled her into a deep kiss and then went inside, leaving her outside. What was she doing? I bet she was going to take some fucking selfies. She walked over to MY bush, digging in her purse. More pictures with the bush, but when she pulled something out of her purse, my stomach dropped. In her hand, she had a cigarette and a lighter. She tried to light her cigarette, but it was a windy day. Thank God, I breathed a sigh of relief until she huddled down into the bush, using it to block the wind and lit her cigarette. I'm not exaggerating when I say; she quite literally burst into flames.
I watched in horror, as she ran around flailing her arms and screaming completely engulfed in flames. Then I turned around, and I ran as fast and as far as my legs would take me in the opposite direction.
I want to give a huge thank you for helping me with editing @imaginationlane. She is such a good writer, and she took the time to help point me in the right direction and I'm very thankful. I actually edited something!!!! Yeah!!!
If I should keep going, like or comment or reblog. I welcome any comments, good or bad.
#bill skarsgard#billy skarsgard#fanfic#establishing story#hydrangea#fan fiction#multiple parts#my writing
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Is It True?
AN: i love amazing writers. i love writing amazing pieces. this piece goes out to @icantlivewithyou in celebration of her 800 followers challenge! hope this makes you smile!
prompt “you’re really pregnant?”
pairing: Bruce Wayne x Reader
summery: its a secret!
Masterlist
8 years ago, you were a graduate student...
8 years ago you got an internship with Wayne Enterprises!
8 years ago was the first encounter you ever had with the Batman. he save your life.
not too long after that you had a magical date with your boss Bruce Wayne! this began your magical journey.
6 years later you are at the office and lunch time roles around. you and Bruce would normally go out for lunch at the usual fancy restaurant. you loved your time with Bruce, but today was different you walked into his office and he has a strange look to his eye...
Bruce: “close the door love and come here...”
you close the door and go over to the desk he turns to face you welcoming you into his lap...
YN: “hey baby... are you ready for lunch?”
Bruce: “we are not going to lunch today... we will do dinner instead but right now can i show you something... i feel like i need to confide this to you, we have been together for a while now and im looking forward to many more years with you but not without you knowing my biggest well kept secret...”
YN: “Bruce whatever you have to tell me, i’ll go into it with you. i love you Bruce! you know that! so what is it that you wish to share with me?”
Bruce: “well first we have to get up off this chair... ive already cleared us to go for the rest of the day... think of this as a vacation! a small one where we arent going far but yet we are gonna have traveled the distances...”
you were now very curious... you had no idea what was about to happen... but got up off your boyfriends lap and held his hand as he led you to the wall pannel, he took his other hand and placed it to the wall.
it then spoke...
AI: “good afternoon mr wayne...”
you were amazed that you never knew about this panel being here... but you walked inside with Bruce as he spoke next.
Bruce: “take us to the cave!”
immediately you were both on one crazy roller coaster ride... it was a tunnel system that seemed to go from the top of wayne tower to some underground cavern...
the ride stopped and Bruce once more spoke...
Bruce: “through these doors is a world that no-one but Alfred has known about like ever... now to you i present this my most valuable secret... the entire reason behind the tunnel system. the entire reason behind all my so called late nights at the office or pre-preparations for a gala that is months away... well i never actually ever left the manor.. id be down here working out, training, and monitoring the city... you may exit the doors when your ready...”
you went passed Bruce and the doors opened automatically... you walked out onto a literal rock solid floor, and into a cavern where tech and a bunch of equipment lay around all over the place...
you wandered around a bit before arriving at the main area, or what assumed was the main area for it had a really big computer setup with 6 different screens and one tiny ass keyboard. the computers powered up and revealed a giant bat symbol... thats when it hit you like a freight train.
you turned to Bruce and decided to test your theory make sure it was true...
you went into a low spin kick to which Bruce jumped over. blocking each move you threw at him you had to now think quickly... you decided to pull a Natasha romanov and wrap your legs around his neck flipping him to the ground but he had grabbed your wrist and twisted your arm when you did that.
Bruce got off of you and smiled as he extended his hand to you...
Bruce: “if you wanted to test my skills how was that?”
YN: “you’re batman... why didnt you tell me sooner?”
Bruce could only chuckle as he smiled...
Bruce: “i was afraid of how you would react... had i known you would react that way i would have told you sooner... are you ok love? you look kinda pale?”
you shook your head, truth be told you hadnt been feeling well for a few days now... you just thought you were getting ready for your period... but this morning you had thrown up... you werent sure what was wrong...
YN: “i think i need a doctor...”
Bruce picked you up bridal style, carrying you to the elevator you both emerge in the library of the manor, where Alfred greets both of you...
Alfred: “good heavens, is Miss YN alright?”
Bruce: “Alfred can you get the car and take us to Gotham General... please?”
Alfred: “of course sir...”
Alfred brings the car to the front of the house where you and Bruce now waiting Alfred opens the door helping to get both of you inside before driving reasonably to Gotham General.
upon arrival at the hospital, Bruce had Alfred once more help to get you out of the car... Alfred then went to park the car while Bruce carried you inside. walking inside he was greeted by 2 nurses...
Nurse 1: “how can we help you both tonight?”
Bruce: “my girlfriend is pale and not well we need a check up... run all the necessary tests rule out anything and everything please...”
Nurse 2: “okay sir calm down please... we need a name to process her under...”
Bruce: “Bruce wayne... i help fund this hospital... my girlfriends name is YN... she can barely stand on her own...”
the nurses both led you and Bruce through the secluded doors, to a room secluded and away from prying eyes... Bruce had laid you on the bed, you were not sure yet as to your condition but you had your suspicions...
it was about 5 minutes later when a doctor walked in one of the nurses who had helped you both in here walked in bringing several things with...
Dr. Jason: “Bruce, YN i’m Dr. Jason... i understand that your not feeling well tonight Miss... can you tell me how long you havent been well?”
YN: “its been on and off for the last week or so...”
Dr. Jason relays notes to the nurse and asks the next question...
Dr. Jason: “when was your last period? or do you know when your next period is supposed to arrive?”
you took one small breath before answering...
YN: “its due... as of yesterday...”
Dr. Jason: “let me guess it hasnt arrived yet, has it...?”
you shake your head, Dr. Jason has the nurse bring in an ultrasound cart... Bruce moves to the other side and gives the okay to do whatever necessary not wanting to leave your side...
Dr. Jason: “have you ever had an ultrasound before YN?”
you shoke your head...
Dr. Jason: “okay its very simple, nothing to worry about... now im gonna need access to your abdomen as well as your stomach... so your waist line on your pants is gonna have to go down a bit... i will place some gel on your stomach, then i will use this equipment to through the gel be able to take a peak inside your belly... see if there is anything noticeable...”
the doctor did as he said, placing the gel on made you shiver a bit but Bruce’s touch kept you nice and warm... as Dr. Jason now moved the transducer around on the gel, the nurse was ready to record anything found...
you and Bruce anxiously watched the screen... waiting for answers of any kind to come up... Dr Jason then stopped moving the tansducer, he kinda stayed in one spot for a while... it was then that he knew what the cause was... he had the nurse make a few notes and then sent her out of the room...
Dr. Jason: “it seems congratulations are in order...”
Bruce: “im sorry what do you mean Congratulations are in order...”
Dr Jason: “well it seems YN isnt sick sick after all its just a little bit of morning sickness...”
your eyes widened... before your head collapsed from the shock of the news... you knew full well what the congratulations was for but no one knew how shocked you were till you fainted...
it was 10 minutes later when you woke again to find Bruce filling out paper work, after being told by Dr Jason not to worry too much that you would wake eventually that you fainted from the aftershock of the news...
Bruce’s head swam with the thoughts of being a father, sure something he had thought about but never dreamed would ever happen. a few moments later Bruce looked up as he often did to find you sitting up and stretching slightly...
Bruce: “hey love how are you feeling?”
YN: “is it true?”
Bruce comes over to your side and smiles lovingly at you.
Bruce: “you’re really pregnant?
Bruce gestures to the ultrasound photo sitting beside you on the bed...
YN: “yes i am... i had my suspisions but i wasnt ever gonna admit them to anyone or myself... however, i know we never actually discussed the thought of kids, but believe me when i say i wouldnt be here today if you werent the most amazing man i had ever met...”
Bruce: “i cant even begin to describe how much excitement im holding in right now... i mean we are gonna be parents... its gonna be an honor to raise this child with you...”
Bruce with you holds the photo and then Bruce lifts your shirt to once again expose your belly and he places soft kisses to it, then he comes up to place a longing kiss to your lips... you were now in a happy place...
you finally felt like your life was finally underway...
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Nothing Breaks Like A Heart: Chapter 2 part 1
So I had to split this into 2 chapters because it’s really long. I’m not big on regurgitating content but it was a good way to set the story up further. Going forward there will be more original content with some cannon thrown in. P.S. IDGAF about Cannon if it doesn’t work well for my story.
I’d love it if you reblogged, gave feedback, etc.
Let me know if you want to be tagged
Series Masterlist
Tag List
@shreddedparchment @fanfictionjunkie1112
Nora smiled to herself as she approached Bruce Banner, Natasha and Steve. She was ecstatic to meet Bruce Banner. She hadn’t seen Natasha in a while and well Steve was another story altogether.
“Is that the only word on me?” Bruce questioned Steve looking incredibly apprehensive.
“Only word I care about.” Such a Steve Rogers thing to say. She watches as Banner seemed to relax, if only slightly.
“Well he won’t be doing it alone.” Nora beamed at the 3 of them. “Besides myself I’m quite positive that my Uncle will show his face after getting through Coulson’s information bomb he gave us last night. No way is he missing out on this.”
“Nora Stark.” The red headed assassin smiled back at Nora.
“Good to see you Rusty. It’s been too long.”
“Well Tony isn’t my biggest fan. So I’ve steered clear.” Natasha shrugged.
“Well stop it. No one cares what he thinks.” Natasha shook her head at Nora. The attitude was 110% Tony Stark.
“Hello Nora.” Steve finally spoke after observing her.
“Hello Captain. Good to see you again.” She watched as the heat rose to his face and turned to Bruce Banner before she reacted and stuck her hand out.
“Well apparently my friends here forgot their manners. Dr. Banner, I’m Nora Stark. I’m a huge fan of your work. I’m really looking forward to working with you.” Bruce tentatively shook her hand.
“You’re not scared to be around me?” Bruce looked at her small stature and assumed she’d be terrified. She shrugged.
“Why would I be?” She smiled. Her kind eyes put him at ease. She linked her arms through Bruce’s. “C’mon Dr. Banner. Let’s go do what we nerds do so the super heroes can get to work” Nora gave Steve a wink only he could see and led them towards the Helicarrier.
“Okay Bruce, apparently Loki is in Germany. I highly doubt the Tesseract is with him.” Nora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“I agree.” Bruce didn’t look up from the computer screen.
“I’m going to head out to Fury. I need to see this. Let me know when you need me.” Bruce nodded again and Nora headed out of the lab and down to the main section of the Helicarrier.
As she made her way out to the main deck, she could hear AC/DC over the comms and then her Uncle’s voice. “Agent Romanoff, you miss me?”
“I see I made it just in time for the show.” She crossed over to where Fury was standing and he Gave her a smirk.
“Make a move Reindeer Games” Nora watched as Natasha landed the Quinjet to capture Loki.
“He doesn’t have the tesseract with him. And we haven’t located it yet. But the staff he carries, the one that turned one of your best parents into a puppet. I’m thinking that might help us.”
“I agree, Nora. Go let Dr. Banner know what’s going on and both of you join us back here once they’re back on this ship.” Nora nodded at the order and headed to retrieve Dr. Banner. She turned her comm on so she could listen in to their ride with Loki and was privy to the fight between the three men.
A little while after Loki was on the ship, Nora made her way back down to the main deck to discuss Loki. Dr. Banner would be joining them shortly. As she approached she heard her Uncle refer to someone as “Point Break”. She rolled her eyes and made herself known.
“Oh good. You’re all done playing swords. Did you find out who’s the biggest or did you just waste our time?”
“See that’s what makes you my favorite Stark. You’re infinitely more funny than Tony.” Natasha and Nora smiled at each other.
“What? No! Absolutely not! You’re not helping on this mission!” Tony wasn’t exactly surprised to see Nora but he wasn’t going to allow her to jump into the line of danger.
“You say that like you still have a say in the choices I make” Nora scoffed at her Uncle. “You need me. If you didn’t Pepper wouldn’t have asked me to come and Fury wouldn’t have agreed to it.”
“Nora I know you’re brilliant but we can do this without you.” Tony shot back. Steve watched on with interest.
“No you can’t. You need my memory and my professional abilities.” Nora was just as stubborn as her Uncle. This wasn’t going to end quickly.
“Your memory? What does that mean.” Nora looked over to the heavy accented voice that was sitting at the table.
“You must be Thor" He nodded. I have a photographic memory. I remember every detail of everything.”
“That sounds very useful and overwhelming.” His understanding and empathy took Nora by surprise. It was overwhelming and incredibly useful. There were some things she wished she could forget, yet instead they plagued her dreams. “And what are these professional abilities?” Thor was intrigued by this tiny human.
“I have some pretty stellar computer skills.” Before Thor could question Nora further Tony was interrupting.
“Uh hello??? I have some pretty decent computer skills myself.” Nora rolled her eyes at the exact same time Tony did and the resemblance between her and Tony couldn’t be ignored. It made Thor smile.
“Obviously you know your way around a computer. But you know full well that you can’t hack like I can.”
“She’s right Tony.” Fury finally spoke. “She hacked the Pentagon on a dare in High School.”
“You what?!” Steve was shocked and Nora stood there with a proud smile on her face. He wouldn’t have thought she would do something like that.
“Sorry Captain. Sometimes you just have to bend the rules. Especially when your sexist classmate thinks he’s superior because he has a teeny tiny appendage between his legs” Thor audibly laughed.
“Yeah that was pretty impressive. I’m still pretty proud you did that.” Tony finally conceded. “Fine. I’m not going to argue with you anymore but if you’re going to be on this mission you need something a little more protective than whatever this is that you’re wearing.” He pointed up and down her body. She was clad in a leather pencil skirt, a denim button down shirt and sky high leopard print heels. Her normally long curly hair was straightened and in a high ponytail with braids on the top of her head.
“Well I asked you to make me a suit.” Nora shot back. Thor watched on enjoying the verbal ping pong match. He liked the fire in Nora Stark.
“So you can put yourself in more danger? Yeah, not likely.” Nick Fury stood up to put an end to the bickering.
“Nora- I had some special Kevlar made for you. There’s a locker with your name on it. You can change when you're ready.”
“Thanks Uncle Nick.” Nora gave Tony a dirty look and went and sat down next to Thor. She was drawn to him for some reason. She couldn't explain it. "So tell me about Asgard and this brother of yours" Steve watched as Thor and Nora seemed to be in a bubble. He had her undivided attention. She laughed at the things he said that weren’t meant to be funny but were because of Thor’s lack of Earth knowledge. She would place her hand on his arm as they spoke. Neither of them seemed to pay much attention to the people around them. He had to force himself to pay attention to what Fury was saying. He was surprised at how jealous he felt. He barely knew her. And he didn’t ever expect to find anyone that stirred feelings in him. Not the way Peggy did. It wasn’t the same, Peggy was Peggy. But Nora somehow set off a spark inside him. The first real connection he made before coming out of the ice.
Nora sighed and sat down on the bench in the locker room. She wanted her own “Iron Man” suit. Tony refused. Nora had contemplated just hacking into his system for the plans, but she couldn’t break her Uncle’s trust like that. She didn’t want him doing this alone. Maybe now that Steve was out of the ice he wouldn’t have to. She was always afraid that when he left in that Iron Man suit he wouldn’t come back. She knew Pepper had the same fears. Nora and Tony both had lost so much. They had been betrayed by people they had loved too. He wasn’t her father. No one could ever take Grant Starks place in her heart, but the relationship she and Tony had was something beyond parent and child. They were connected by loss and pain. They were connected by their similarities. They had the same snark, the same attitude and the Stark swagger. The swagger that sometimes acted as a protective bubble. Tony was Nora’s protector. Even when he was missing he was still protecting her. He had always had a plan in place with Rhodey and Pepper to keep her safe and loved if something happened and he couldn’t. All Nora wanted to do was protect him as well.
She stood and opened up the locker with her name and smiled at what Nick had left her. It was an all black Kevlar suit that looked like leather. It had straps across her hips and boots that went over her knees. There were a number of holsters to hold weapons or technological items. She wasn’t sure where Nick had found it, but it was perfect. It held her body like a glove. She was curvy but strong. She has never been skinny. Her body wasn’t built to be that small. She had accepted her flaws a long time ago and learned how to use them to her advantage.
She headed out of the locker room with plans to head back to the lab. Her eyes caught the door that she knew Loki was behind and she just couldn’t help herself. Her credentials allowed her to enter the room. There he stood. The God of Mischief in a round glass cage.
“Hello Loki.” He snapped his head up and studied her.
“The Dróttning av Gimsteinn” Loki’s voice was almost breathless. He hadn’t been expecting to see her and the words had poured from his mouth before he could stop them.
“What did you just say?” Nora stopped in her tracks and stared him down. Loki’s eyes bore into Nora’s and he didn’t respond. “What does that mean?”
“You’ll find out soon enough I suppose” Loki acted as uninterested in her as he possibly could. I’m reality he was buzzing on the inside. He thought it would be more difficult to get eyes on her. Nora narrowed her eyes at him. She took a step towards him and stopped.
“I’m not going to let you goad me into a reaction. When you get bored of this and want to tell me where the tesseract is, let me know. If I find it before you tell me, I can’t help you.” Before Loki could respond, she was gone. Loki smiled to himself. She was feisty. She liked to spar. This was going to be more fun than he originally thought.
Nora was wracking her brain trying to figure out what Loki called her as she was heading back. She didn’t even know what language it was. She was about to pull her phone out and try to search for what she thought he had said when she stumbled upon Steve trying to pry a set of doors open. Captain America breaking and entering? This was surprising. She crossed her arms in front of her body and leaned against the wall.
“Need some help Captain?” She smiled with a suggestive voice as Steve jumped. He turned and faced Nora sheepishly with red cheeks. He had on hand on the back of his neck and looked impossibly adorable.
“I was…I uh…” He was embarrassed for getting caught but what really had him stuttering was Nora. No one should look that good in Kevlar. He silently chastised himself for behaving like a 13 year old. Nora shook her head and without a word pushed herself off of the wall and approached the door Steve was trying to bust open. She pressed her palm to the lock pad. It read her palm print and prompted for the 2nd security key. “Stark, Nora Margaret”. Steve froze. Was Peggy apart of her life? It couldn’t be a coincidence that she was related to Howard Stark and her middle name was Peggy. Howard and Peggy has founded Sheild together. He wondered if Peggy had any sort of relationship with Nora’s father. He wanted to ask her about it, but it wasn’t the right time. Nora motioned him inside.
“After you.” Nora followed him into the room and the door shut behind him. “Mind telling me what we’re doing in here? What are you looking for?”
“I’m honestly not sure. Your Uncle is trying to get all of Sheild’s files as we speak. He seems to think Fury is hiding something.”
“Oh what a jack ass. He’s trying to hack in on his own instead of asking me. He’s trying to prove he doesn’t need me. I could have had those files in 5 minutes, 10 tops. Plus I have access to a lot of shit around here. Sheild is my family birth right. My father would have taken Howard’s place.”
“Wait- so you agree with Tony? You think he’s hiding something?”
“Don’t be so naive Captain. Of course he’s hiding something. He’s a super spy. His secrets have secrets!” Steve laughed. “What’s funny?”
“Your Uncle literally said the same thing. Word for word.” Nora’s eyes shone with pride. “Are you going to help me look?”
She threw her arms up in a shrug. “Kind of hard to help when I have zero clue what to look for. And how do you know I’m not in on it?”
“Call it a gut instinct.” Nora liked to banter and Steve was feeling brave. He was still feeling a little green after seeing her with Thor. Now was his chance to see if she was as just flirty or interested in him. He was a God. A good looking one at that. And while he felt like an idiot worrying about it when they had more important things to focus on, he had to know. “So you’re done flirting with Thor? You two seemed to hit it off right away.” He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
“I wasn’t flirting! Why? Are you jealous?” Nora sauntered over to where Steve was leaning over a crate. She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned over so she could whisper in his ear. “Believe me Captain, if I’m flirting, you’ll know it.”
Nora’s breath was hot on his neck and it sent a chill down his spine. He was about to respond but his attention was pulled to the container in front of him. Steve opened a container. “I think I found what we’re looking for.” Steve watched as Nora pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Dammit.” The disappointment was radiating from her voice. “Sometimes, it’s really hard to separate the spy, the head of Shield, from the man that helped me become who I am today. The person my father revered. I just can’t.”
“I’m sorry Nora.” Steve put his hand on her shoulder.
“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do this Steve.”
“No, but I know that feeling. And I’m sorry that you’re feeling it now.” Nora gave Steve a small smile.
“Thank you. God this is all so messed up. Let’s go to the lab. I’d like to talk to Nick and I need to ask Thor some questions about his brother.” Steve picked up the container and the two of them headed back to her Uncle and Dr. Banner.
Nora could heat heated voices as she and Steve approached the lab. So heated that they didn’t even notice the two of them enter in the middle of Bruce’s sentence.
“…When we get a hit, we’ll have the location within half a mile.” Nora could tell he was trying to control his temper. Tony picked up where Bruce left off. The two of them were a team already.
“And you’ll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss. What is Phase Two?” Tony wanted answers. Nora knew that look in his eye.
Nora jumped as Steve slammed the case down on the counter. “ Phase Two is SHIELD used the Cube to make weapons.” Steve answered for Fury and then directed himself towards Tony. “Sorry, computer was moving a little slow for me.”
Nora gave Tony a dirty look. “I literally could have gotten it within 10 minutes tops. Stop trying to prove that you don’t need me.”
“Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we’re-“ Before Fury could finish Tony flipped the screen to reveal a plan for a missile. Nora pit her face in her hands. This was only going to get worse.
“I’m sorry, Nick. What were you lying?” Nora clenched her jaw. She didn’t know what to say to calm the waters because she was just as angry as the rest of them. She pulled herself from her thoughts as Natasha and Thor came into the lab.
“You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?” Bruce laughed in Natasha’s face.
“I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.” Nora ignored their verbal ping pong as she went over to the monitor to check on the Tesseract. She paused and eyed Loki’s staff curiously. When she focused back on the group Fury was explaining why Sheild wanted to create these weapons.
“Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly- hilariously, out-gunned.” Nora was going to tell Nick he was right but that he should have been upfront but Thor interjected before she had the chance.
“My people want nothing but peace with your planet.”
“But you’re not the only people out there, are you? And, you’re not the only threat. The world’s filling up with people who can’t be matched, they can’t be controlled.” Fury shot back quickly. Nora couldn’t focus on what they were saying anymore. Her attention was drawn back to Loki’s staff like it was pulling her in. Bits and pieces of the argument would break through. She couldn’t focus on who was saying what as her head started to pound and the sceptor started to glow..
“Nuclear deterrent! ’Cause that always calms everything right down.”
“ I’m sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep-“
“How is this now about me?”
“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?”
“I thought humans were more evolved than this.”
“I swear to God, Stark, one more crack...”
Nora felt more dizzy and tried to focus on Steve’s voice, though she wished she hadn’t. “Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?” Why was Steve attacking her Uncle? He didn’t know what he was talking about. Nora felt too woozy to feel any anger at that point.
“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”
“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I’ve seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.” He was wrong. He didn’t know what Tony Stark was about. He put on a front but he was a hero. He took the world on his shoulders. Nora remembered Tony destroying all of the weapons sold to our enemies. She wanted to scream at Rogers but her head hurt too badly to speak. Tony’s voice cut through the pain.
“A hero, like you? You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”
“Put on the suit, let’s go a few rounds.”
“Steve, Tony- Stop” Nora begged. Her voice wasn’t loud enough for them to hear her. She was sure it was Loki’s scepter causing them to act like this. It was what messed with Barton’s head. Loki had wanted it to be here, to cause this dissension. Finally Bruce’s yelling caused everything to stop.
“IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO KILL ME. BUT YOU CAN’T, I KNOW, I TRIED!” He stopped and saw that everyone is staring at him and he continued. “I got low. I didn’t see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?”
“Oh Bruce...” Nora could feel his pain and anger, how broken he felt. He was holding the scepter while Fury and Natasha hand their hands on their guns. Nora was white as a sheet.
“Please Bruce. That thing is making you all act like this. Please put it down. No one is going to cage you, I promise..”
“Nora?” Tony’s voice was full of worry. She looked sick. She had barely said a word during the argument. She normally would tell Tony if he was being an ass or defend him if he was right. Steve took a deep breath, sighed and looked at Bruce.
“Doctor Banner, put down the scepter.” Banner looked down, surprised to see the spear in his hand. Suddenly the monitor made a noise, signaling the Tesseract has been located. Bruce put the scepter back on the table and walked over to the screen on the other side of the room. Nora walked over to the table and lightly touched the scepter, knowing it was the source of her pain. She just didn’t know why. She yanked her hand back and turned towards her Uncle.
Suddenly Tony turned to leave but Steve put his arm out to stop him. “You’re not going alone Stark!” Tony smacked Steve’s hand away.
“You gonna stop me?” Nora groaned. Taking steps towards the two men.
“Put on the suit, let’s find out!
“ I’m not afraid to hit an old man.”
“Will the two of you stop acting like children?!” Nora was pleading with them. Then she heard Banner yelling and then an explosion. Nora flew into Steve, he grabbed her by the waist as he and Tony fell near the entry way. Steve turned her so she would fall on him instead of the floor protecting her head and neck. The next thing she knew Steve was pulling her along with Tony.
#Avengers#Avengers FanFiction#Steve Rogers#Steve Rogers FanFiction#Captain America#Captain America FanFiction#Steve Rogers x OC#captain america x oc#Stark OC#Tony Stark#Tony Stark FanFiction#Marvel#Marvel FanFiction#MCU#MCU FanFiction#Steve Rogers Imagine#captain america imagine#Steve Rogers x Stark OC
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man that made me think of like. i was absolutely a tomboy child and like my only friend as a kid was a guy and i always had my mom telling me like “when are you gonna make friends with GIRLS and grow up and be a GIRL” and id always get mad bc like hey why r u devaluing my best friend :( cause i was like perfectly content to play in the ditch and wrestle each other in the woods and shit. But over time gender kicked in and we drifted apart cause it started like not being acceptable to go play in the woods together and i remember perfectly clearly this one time in grade 6? 7? at recess where we were having a joke argument about which pokemon was stronger that ended with my wrestling my bestie on the ground like rolling in the dirt and laughing and then The popular boy from the year above us had like watched the whole thing and we hadnt noticed and he just went ��ummm okay” and made some snide comment implying we were dating or something and like at the time i felt embarrassed for being caught acting like a child but in hindsight im like man fuck that kid i wish i still had that kind of friendship where we could yell about pokemon and wrestle in the dirt that was the peak of human fucking connection and i miss it. not quite sure why i typed all this out
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dear duckling
i missed you as well. im sorry my absence had such a negative impact on you.
to answer that first question. every single situation is different.
and the other question, yes, i have been in your situation. i think everyone has been at some point in their lives. we all love and need to be loved so differently, of course its going to cause some riffs. thats what i love about mankind so much, every single person is so, so individual. when you first grasp that, it can feel so lonely and cold. but your individuality is yours, and only yours. you can share that with anyone you want to. it's all yours.
her name was emmeline. she was shorter than me, her hair was a beautiful blonde that i can only describe as sunshine. really, i can only describe her as sunshine. she was my best friend, i was in love with her.
i was cruel to her, really. i'd ditch her to hang out with arrows, i was rude, i pulled her pigtails and pinched and poked. because i knew she'd always be there at the end of the day. she'd be there when i needed her, with open arms and a smile on her face.
one day, she was consoling me after a freak accident. she held me together, id been shattered for two seconds before she taped me back together with the swiftness of hermes. and it hit me, oh did it hit me. my heart shattered, i couldnt breathe. i had treated my best friend and the love of my life as if she was disposable. i sobbed, i choked, i apologized until my face was blue. for hurting her, for treating her like less than she was. and she said it was okay. she was gentle with me, she didnt hate me, she was too forgiving. she'd never leave me.
and she didnt, for a few more years. till she moved away. and we lost touch, sadly.
truthfully, i didnt think about her often after we lost touch. once a month, if that.
then i'd moved, and somehow, we both ended up volunteering for the same organization. it was horribly awkward. we brushed shoulders, shared awkward hellos, but nothing more. and i'll tell you, it hurt. it hurt like nothing ive ever known. i did not know this emmeline. she had interests i didnt know of, she had stories id never heard. she was a new version of herself, that i didnt know.
a few months later, i had to move due to some personal issues. not too far, but far enough that i couldnt be a part of that organization anymore. and then, i didnt know her again. that was okay. again, i didnt think about her for years.
and then suddenly, one day, i did. i thought about her all day. and then the next day, the next week, the next month, until i had thought about her every second of the day for a year. day or night, awake or dreaming, consciously or subconsciously. i caught myself making a birthday wish to know her again.
so one day, i wrote a letter to her. i poured my heart and soul into that letter. and i sent it off. even if she didnt reply, it was amazing to get that off of my chest. i didnt expect a response, i wasnt even sure if she still lived at that address anymore.
but hell if she didnt! the letter fell at my feet, jumped into my shaky hands. i was fucking elated. i read it with weepy eyes, so unbelievably happy that i had a crumb of who she was now. i wrote back, she wrote back, we talked for months. and then she flew out to the city to see me.
would ya believe me if i told you we've been together ever since?
i hope you do, because its the truth. we're older now, of course, but she's still the embodiment of sunshine. she got way too stoned with me the other day when i hadnt stopped by sooner.
now, back to what i said in the beginning. every situation like that is different. emmeline and i, we were only kids when i was that way to her. and we're older now, her and i both know that what went down was a learning experience, and i was a traumatized child who didnt know what was good for me. neither of us have negative feelings towards our younger selves. do i regret how i was to her? of course! but it doesn't consume me. because thats not who we are anymore.
sometimes things cant be mended. and thats okay. i think the advice i can give is, the both of you will have to accept that any outcome is possible, but dont hope for a reconnection. hope for growth in your individuality, and work towards that before you try again. sometimes you're connected with someone at the wrong time, just so you can grow and meet them again when youre both better, older. oh, honey, i know it hurts. but youre so, so young. you have years to let this relationship unfold. id say move on, to the best of your ability. take it slow, or take it abruptly, whatever will work better for you. dont force closure, itll never work when the wound is still so fresh. meet new people, i know thats hard with whats going on now, but im serious. invest in yourself before you try to invest in this relationship anymore. and dont do nothing. find things to do. i know im saying this to a depressed teenager, but i mean it, you need to keep yourself busy, give yourselves things to look forward to. you're going to be okay, my love.
if she was more than a best friend, the way emmeline was more than a best friend to me, it might be harder to do this. but itll be okay. your first love is supposed to hurt, but it shouldnt kill you.
i hope any of this helped you. if you have more questions, i'll be up for a couple more hours. ill try to answer faster this time.
love, marjorie.
i wouldnt necessarily say it was a negative impact, having you not around, but its definitely very nice to hear from you. and im very glad youre back! you have a very comforting way of words.
im very glad that things worked out between you and emmeline in the end. you sharing that whole story really means a lot to me. it makes it a lot easier for me to relate and understand the lesson youre trying to teach me, i guess. (sorry im not able to give a very eloquent response, my brain doesnt allow me to be good at responses).
i really hope that me and my friend can be like you and emmeline and that we can reconnect someday. ive always felt like she was my platonic soulmate, and i still feel that way. ive been doing my best to accept that this could very well be permanent and that i might not talk to her again, and sometimes its easier to deal with that than other times. its been very much a rollercoaster. i try to let myself just feel things as they come and i try not to force myself to be okay, but its hard. i try to focus on myself and i try not to think about her, but its very difficult. i have made new friends since then, though. and i like to think that im handling things a little better than i was a few weeks ago, and i like to hope that itll get easier soon. but i do my best to just hope to get through each day instead of hoping for things to magically get good. its hard to not do that, though. and its hard to focus on other things, but ive been doing as best as i can. i do know that i plan on sending my friend a letter like you did, because i didnt really get a chance to apologize to her like i want to, and i figure a letter is the safest bet - that way theres less pressure for her to respond or even acknowledge that she read it because she can just pretend like it got lost in the mail or something, yknow?
thank you for all of this. this was a very helpful message. i suppose the only question i can think of right now is what made you gravitate towards me? what made you decide to take me in and start giving me advice and everything? dont get me wrong, im appreciative that you chose me and you chose now, but ive been very curious about that
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Sixty Three
Cayden
I was in Jamaica working on a deal with some guys Sean had connected us with a while back. We had been doing small business with their niggas out in texas and we hadn’t had any real problems, other than the small feds issue but that was on our end, and it had been dealt with. My sources let me know people had stopped talking and the investigation was dropped. Randi was on on my ass to fix that one real quick, but i understood why.
Jamaica was beautiful though, i wished i was here to just chill, with my girl, not working. We’d spend the day on the beach, or in this big ass hotel room…fucking and everywhere. Most likely the second one. I promised myself to bring her some time.
Sean and Pat were both with me, and we were going to some meeting with the dude who was gonna supply shit. We were in our car on the way there.
“Like i told you, dude kinda crazy, so lets try and avoid any beef. I heard he be keeping niggas balls as torphies and shit,” Sean said, looking over from the drivers seat.
“I can respect that,” i chuckled. “Maybe imma start doing that, make yall niggas really fear me.”
“Thats some batty man shit,” Pat mumbled.
We pulled up to the building, which was some food place.
“They doing drug deals out of a restaurant?” I looked at Sean.
“Thats how it be here,” he shrugged. We walked in past the store front and inside there were lots of tables and plastic chairs. A group of people were gathered at the back near the register, two guys stood on either side of the table, body guards. They stepped up when we approached and my instinct was to be pissed off because the nigga knew i was coming but yet he had security in my face.
“He knows who i am,” i said simply. They looked back at their boss and then let us through. We sat down on the opposite side of the table.
“Sean, wa gwan my brotha?”
“Im chillin. Omarion, this my nigga Cayden. Cayden this the crazy dude Omarion,” Sean said. Omarion looked me over and i did the same.
“Texas right?” he said. I nodded. “You know i done business with yall in the past actually.”
“Word? When?” I asked. He leaned in, putting his hands on the table. He smirked in a way that really made me think he was crazy.
“Way back when, Red was running shit back then,” he said, tilting his head.
“That must have been a long time ago then,” i said nonchalantly.
“Shame what happened to him isn’t it?”
“Tragic,” i said. He burst into full blown laughter. I guess people really knew what had gone down. I smirked.
“I like your style Cayden,” he said. “This should be a good partnership. Lets get to the business then.”
“We got everything ready on our end. Just gotta see what we buying before we hand the money over.”
“Everything irie my brother, dont worry, we got the best quality product. I got some coke and the weed for you to try, the rest will be here tomorrow when we do the drop,” he said, turning and nodding to one of his guys. The guy got up and went back to the kitchen then came back with a brick of coke and a bag of some rolled up blunts. He put them on the table. I opened the plastic wrapping and looked over the coke before passing it to Pat. I wasn’t about to try it because i knew i had a problem with the shit and Randi had threatened to leave me over it when we first got together. Doesn’t mean i wasn’t tempted though. Pat took a sniff while i lit the blunt. I knew the weed was gon be lit because everyone knew this was the place for the shit. I took a long pull.
“Damn,” i said, blowing out smoke. The guys chuckled and i took another drag.
“I told you my brother. So we good for tomorrow?” Omarion put his hand out. I nodded and shook his hand.
“We’ll see yall tomorrow,” i said, standing up. Pat and Sean stood up too.
When we got back to the hotel the first thing i did was face time Randi. It has only been 3 days but i missed her and i knew she was probably freaking out by now. She was clingy for a nigga. Her phone rang for a real long time before she finally picked up.
“Why the fuck it take you so long to pick up?” i asked, immediately wondering what she was doing. She moved the phone so i could see her face.
“Well i was sleeping,” she said, voice low. I could tell she had just woken up from her hair and her voice.
“You at the girls’ place?” I asked, not liking the idea of her being alone.
“No, they’re here, at the house, they watching a movie i think,” she said, brushing hair out of her face.
“You love watching movies, why you sleeping?” my brows came together.
“I was tired. Where are you?” She asked.
“My hotel room. Its real nice, youd love it here babe. Imma bring you one day.” She smiled.
“Okay,” she said, excited now.
“You look pretty,” i told her, looking at her messy hair and makeup around her eyes, i liked it.
“I literally just woke up, im pretty sure theres drool on my face,” she wiped her cheek.
“Nah. You look perfect.”
“I miss you,” she frowned.
“I know,” i said simply. She knew i was missing her the same if not more.
“Come home quickly, i need you…”
“Whats wrong?” I asked immediately. I already knew something must be up.
“Nothings wrong. I just love you and i wanna see you,” she said in a not so convincing voice but i let it go.
“I love you too. You gon be aight. Just a few more days. But you need to get out of bed and get outside. You even leave the house today?”
“Not really.”
“Get off your butt or im gonna send someone over there. Im gonna send Ty actually. He needs the key to my office anyway. You know where it is?”
“yeah i know,” she said. “Ill give it to him.”
There was banging on my door then and i lookd over. Sean and Pat stormed in and were making all kinds of noise.
“Nigga we going out,” Sean said. Pat grabbed my phone from my hand.
“Hey Randi. Cayden has to go now,” he said.
“Okay. Bring him back in one piece please,” she said.
“I promise,” he said.
“Okay, go play with you friends. I’ll talk to you later,” she said to me.
“Bye baby,” i yelled. Pat hung up and i sent him a mug.
“Dawg you not staying in this room. Grab yo shit we going,” he said. I groaned but got up. It would be a shame to leave jamaica without partying.
Randi
The last few days were very strange for me. I would go to sleep and when i first woke up id forget about the whole being pregnant thing, then after a few minutes as i really woke up and started my day id remember and be momentarily terrified. I mean i was terrified the rest of the day too because i still had no idea how i felt other than scared and i couldn’t even share it with anybody because Cay didnt know and wasn’t here. China and Jada were staying here right now and, though Jada sort of knew, i hadnt confirmed anything after the positive test, i couldn’t talk to them about it. The crazy thing is that i was actually scared to the core to tell him. I couldn’t rationalize why on earth id be scared. That morning when i woke up i decided to call Dr. Williams office to see if she had an opening, and she did. So instead of going to the salon first thing like i usually did, i went there.
She looked like she was ready to pop. Seeing her so sure and confident in her pregnancy and clearly over joyed about the prospect of having a child, i couldn’t control myself, i spilled the news because i had to talk to someone.
“Thats definitely some news,” she said, giving me a soft smile.
“It feels weird saying it out loud,” i said, running my hand up and down my thighs.
“This is the first time you’ve told anybody?” She asked, surprised. I nodded. “So Cayden doesn’t know then.”
“No,” i said in a guilty tone. “I found out at a bad time, he was leaving for work and i didn’t wanna make him worry or feel like he had to stay, so i kept it to myself,” i said.
“That sounds pretty stressful on you, dealing with it all on your own,” she said sympathetically. I nodded, biting my lip. “How are you feeling about it, whats been going through your head?”
“I dont think im feeling the things im supposed to be feeling,” i explained.
“You dont have to feel a specific way, you’re allowed to feel your own emotions. You can always say the truth here,” she tilted her head to the side.
“But i don’t want something to be wrong with me,” i said.
“Why would something be wrong with you?” she wrote on her notepad.
“Because im not all excited and happy, im just terrified. I’m even scared to tell Cayden,” i sighed.
“Being scared is normal. This is a big change,” she pointed out. “Do you fear how Cayden will react?”
“No,” i shook my head, “its not that. Im not sure what it is,” i played with my hair.
“Whats the worst thing you immagine happening,” she tried instead. I paused for a while, picturing me telling him.
“I think its more to do with me. I dont want him to see my fear and be upset by my reaction,” i scratched my arms. She nodded.
“You think Cayden won’t be understanding of your fears and concerns?”
“I dont know,” i shrugged.
“You’ve been together for how long now, has he given you reason to think he wouldn’t be understanding of your story and how things may feel a bit intense for you?” I shook my head.
“Then maybe you should give him a bit more credit and trust that you can confide in him,” she put a hand on my knee. I nodded. I knew she was right. The fears were all because i was in my own head too much. I knew i was also generally high strung when Cayden was far away from me.
“You’re right,” i said, dabbing at a single tear that had escaped. Why did she always have me crying in her office?
“You’re very brave, dont forget that. Give yourself a break. You are a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman…and you will make a terrific mother.”
When she said the last part i really lost it, i don’t know why. I took the tissues she offered me and we just sat in silence for a little while, since my hour was almost up anyway. Once the session was done she gave me a long hug and told me to come in any time. I thanked her and then left the office.
When i got back home i was emotionally drained and just tired all together. Jada invited me to watch a Romcom which was my favourite, but i needed to lay down so i flaked and went upstairs to sleep instead and Cayden ended up calling me an hour into my nap and we had a short but nice conversation. Hearing his voice and seeing his face lifted my spirits and also made my stomach flutter in a new strange way. I couldn’t believe i was one of those girls who couldn’t go a few days without seeing her man, but it was different once you were married. We truly functioned as a unit, and taking him away was taking away part of me. He encouraged me to get out of bed though and i washed my face before going to join my friends downstairs.
“How you doing?” Jada asked, looking at me a little too intensely.
“Im good. I had an intense therapy session, im always drained after talking to Dr. williams,” i explained.
“We got you some food, i was gonna bring it up but i didnt wanna wake you,” China said. “You should eat,”
“Im actually starving. What you get?”
“Fried rice, its in the fridge” she said. My mouth watered immediately and i ran to the kitchen. Suddenly i was happy and feeling good about life as i warmed my food and grabbed some cutlery. I brought it to the couch and Jada flipped through netflix finding a new movie.
“A walk to remember?” she asked.
“Too sad,” i said.
“Jumping the broom?”
“Yeah i like that one,” i nodded. She pressed play and i made myself comfortable.
Later on in the day, Ty did come by just like Cayden had said. I let him in and asked him if he wanted something to drink. He said sure and followed me to the kitchen. I got him a can of coke from the fridge.
“How you doing nugget?” he asked. “You look down.”
“Im alright, i didnt sleep a lot last night. Im just tired,” i said.
“Can’t sleep cause yo nigga gon?” he guessed. I stuck my tongue out at him. “Yall so extra.”
“Don’t act like you dont be all pissy when Cole not here. We all have to put up with you until he come back on the weekend.”
“I dont get pissy,” he said real quick, face serious as ever.
“Ok,” i said in a ‘sure’ tone. He sent me a mug and drank his coke. “So what did you need again?” i asked, having forgotten what Cay had told me i was supposed to give him.
“The key to Cayden’s office,” he said.
“Right. Ill go get it, be right back,” i said. He nodded. I got up and left the kitchen to go up to the bedroom. The key was in some safety deposit box with a pin but it was our wedding say so i knew it. I unlocked the box and got the key while also lurking at everything else. There was some money, a gun, some keys, and an envelope. I grabbed the envelope and opened it. It was a deed for the house that had, apparently, been updated to have my name on it beside his. I couldn’t help but smile. I had never asked him to do that. Cayden had bought this house all on his own way before me. It made my heart skip a beat seeing he added my name on a legal paper listing me as an owner of the property.
“I love you Cay,” i said to nobody. I put the letter back where id found it and locked the box back up. I left the room and started for the stairs, jogging down them because id kept Ty waiting when i got distarcted. I was wearing socks though, and the stairs were polished wood, so when i put my foot on the next step it slid all the way past the edge and threw me off balance. I let out a little scream as i slipped and caught myself on the hand rail before i could go tumbling down the stairs.
“Fuck,” I said, my heart pounding. Ty was now at the bottom of the stairs. I took the rest of the stairs slowly. My hand had somehow ended up on my stomach in a very non random way, i guess to protect it.
“You good?” Ty said.
“Yeah,” I said, trying to calm myself. “That was really scary,” i ran my hand up and down my lower belly. He looked down at my hand which was still on my belly, making slow movements. He looked at me like I was weird at first then he seemed to put things together. I went red.
“Wait…” he said. I quickly removed my hand and wiped the nervous sweat on my jeans. “Are you knocked up?” I didnt answer right away so that about confirmed it.
“Please don’t say anything to anyone,” I begged, closing the sweater I had on. He chuckled.
“Oh shit,” he said, looking at me like he was seeing me for the first time.
“I haven’t gotten to tell Cayden yet so don’t tell him please. I know you’re his best friend but im begging you,” i said desperatly.
“Don’t worry, I won’t” he said in an understanding tone.
“If he asks how i am just say im good. I dont wanna worry him,” i said. He nodded. “Thanks,” I said, handing him the key. He took it and I thought he was gonna leave but he wrapped one arm around me and pulled me into a hug. This was the most affectionate he had ever been with me. We had a very brother and sister relationship. I mean he would mess up my hair teasingly or choke hold me but this was a real, soft hug. I didn’t know what to do.
“Be careful on the stairs aight?” He said. I nodded. He pulled away. He nodded and then went out the door. I knew I had to tell Cayden. I would feel horrible if he found out from someone else. I promised myself that would be the first thing i did when he got home. I just had to wait a few more days, and not fall down any stairs.
#chris brown#chris brown fanfic#chris brown ff#team breezy#Jhene Aiko#jhene chilombo#jhene efuru#jhene aiko fanfic#jhene aiko ff#fanfiction#fandom#fan fiction#fanfic#fanfic update
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How i destroy myself (and how i know it doesn’t matter)
My whole life ive been nothing if not second best. Second Child, Second Favorite, hell my grandpa calls me number two because im his second grandson. So growing up it was pretty obvious that i wasnt going to be favorite. My brother fails a class? slap on the wrist. i fail a class? grounded for a month, which means no online anything (which meant no connection to my friends at the time). He bikes out at night and gets brought home by the cops? he gets yelled at a little. if id have done that id have been locked in my room. so i grow up expecting no one to actually like me or the way i am. i hit middle school and ive moved to a new state so maybe i can reset how im seen. The only thing i change is how much i get bullied, and honestly i think i deserved it. im not sure really why i attract so many people with problems but i always feel toxic around them....but there all ive got. this is a long way to bring you around to when i entered high school.
I met a Goddess. i wont give her name but if she had wings they wouldve been pure white. but even with those wings she keeps herself locked in a bird cage. for her safety as well as anyone else.
Shes breath taking from the first moment i see her. but being a teen whos never thought he was worth anything i just ask her for sex or physical favors....and i physically hurt thinking about that.
she and i are still friends but ive dedicated my life to making sure she is taken care of no matter what. i dont care if im broke and dying, any money she needs she can have..
i made my biggest mistake by breaking up with her..and getting together with my “wife”. of course in high school i enlisted and decided i needed to get engaged before i shipped out. so a person i wasnt even dating for a week, but was the first person who fooled around with me i proposed to. we had only been fooling around for two months.
so i had thought i made the correct decision, but i know now i only sealed my fate. we really get engaged because of a broken condom. then right after basic she tole me she wasnt pregnant and left me for her ex.
i still dont know what compelled me to take her back honestly. i wish every night i hadnt.
so now i was back with her, re engaged and thats when the fighting started. im not sure what changed her but all she would do is tall me i was different and that i was always wrong.
so after a year of marriage were both done. but mysteriously it turns out thats right when she gets pregnant with the only good thing i can ever make (i still pray shes mine). my daughter alice.
so were still fighting everyday, but now im retired from the military (an injury forced me into medical retirement) and in all honesty were both done again. she just spouts that she doesnt care about or want my daughter. she blames the baby for every bad thing that happens to her. so im sad from all angles at this point im angry because i cant do what i used to. i miss my job, my house i had to sell, my animals the “wife” got rid of without asking....
so after al lthis how could things get worse? what about my “wife” FUCKING MY BROTHER, ya know, tho one who always gets whatever he wants? who abandoned his first daughter and the daughters mother and my family still supported him. he fucked my “wife” and now im suicidal every day. i cant go anywhere or do anything because i have to watch my daughter. and i love alice, but im a pile of misery and hatred and my daughter deserves better.
and that goddess i spoke of earlier? i makemyself sad every day because i cant let go of my feeling for her EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IM NOT SPECIAL OR MEANINGFUL TO HER, IM JUST HERE AND ITS WHATEVER IF I DIE OR LIVE IM NOT SPECIAL TO ANYONE AND I ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND THAT.
what isnt okay is the way my emotions attack me when someone else is making her happy or shes dating someone. i dont want that feeling, it fucking hurts. and i cant tell her that because im barely friends with her right now ya know? i ruined things with the only person i can say i truely loved in my entire life and will spend all of eternity trying to make up for it but i wont be able to because no matter what i want i life theres one thing life has always taught me and i think you know what it is if youve read through all of this. no one loves me, im not special and ill never be anything but second best.
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Penelope
He loves these kids, has raised millions of dollars of military equipment but I hate the mention of their sex of course it used to be at the border. Interesting how the waters come down at the march past the 10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the Dublins that won and half he put on my bottom Ill drag open my drawers that was to be he never felt me I tell you that there have been executed in large numbers of women voters based on an accumulation of data, and many millions of dollars to DJT Foundation, unlike most foundations, never asked by me. Working hard! Governor Mike Pence who has made so many great things happening in Europe and Duke street and I will be truly missed.
Nice! 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing that for any priest to write from Canada after so many things he told him easy piano O I laughed Im not going to think of me or my campaign. Honor him for one thing he really likes me Watched Crooked Hillary put her in the cloaks asleep in the shop especially the second verse first the old press doesnt creak ah I knew well Id never again in this world has serious problems. Word is that I thought it was struck by lightning and all the horses toenails first like he did what a pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for a couple of pounds a few men like that and waiters and beggars too hes not going to give me the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much the fashion now garters that much I have a child whether she had her arms round me then we were before she left out regards to your soul almost paralyses you then I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let him speak anyway. Our country needs change! Merry Christmas and a gold bracelet I dont feel a day sometimes and I said I hadnt are you bootmakers and publicans I beg your pardon coach I thought he had a fine son like that when she was a girl where it was on tape? ISIS, rise of Iran, #1 in terror, no action or results. Thank you Washington! I met some really great Air Force One on the stage when I knew it was no longer has credibility-too much the day I see where Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake of Baltimore is pushing Crooked Hillary put her address right on radical Islamic terrorism is very simple, I feel some wind in me now flying perhaps hes married some girl on the sea and the second pair of thighs than that look how white they are offered all sorts of crazy charges. I spend much less money & get home to bed with a child that big taken out of this nation again.
So many self-righteous hypocrites. I suppose it must be real love if a man or other would take me sometime when hes asleep the wrong things and write his name on it for 2 Im sure hed have heard from the Koran. The new joke in town is that Crooked Hillary Clinton chooses goofy Elizabeth Warren, sometimes referred to as Pocahontas, just endorsed Crooked Hillary refuses to write and her team were extremely careless in their natures to find out so long and listening as I dont know how to win anymore, just like a hatrack no wonder they treat us the way they do themselves the fine cattle going about of getting in a hurry supposed to be his wife and 5 times locked in each others back Mrs Rubio said she is V.P. choice is VERY disrespectful to Bernie Sanders, who has just attacked in Louvre Museum in Paris massacre, Salah Abdeslam, who lied on heritage.
Will these leaks be happening? On Saturday a great day campaigning in Indiana. I like Michael Douglas! 8:00 A.M. Four more years of incompetence! Big crowd, great chemistry. Wow, my speech, great enthusiasm!
No wonder companies flee country! Just leaving Florida.
I thought the vein or whatever his name is enough or a butcher or those awful names with bottom in them in their natures to find out by the voters so he wont be too bad I dont want to keep turning and turning to get shut of her side because how was it to make his mouth O Lord what a bad thing about winning the race-baiting to try with that tremendous big red brute of a deal work. Yes. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
#Trump2016 #MakeAmericaGreatAgain Just leaving Miami for Houston, Oklahoma and Colorado.
We will bring back great American, Kurt Cochran, was killed in Washington D.C. Time and on-line polls, and massive influx of refugees. Lyin' Hillary Clinton, who let us all! It is not acceptable.
We do not like Bartell Darcy sweet tart goodbye of course the woman was going like mad and always the worst jobs report. Prime Minister Abe is heading back to U.S. car dealers-tax free across border.
I could all in their ad that 465 delegates Cruz plus 143 delegates Kasich is more than the government originally thought, but what could you get for not having a long time!
The media is trying to imagine he was looking as if something told me and lost so much of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid for her lover to kiss the feet of you senorita theres some sense in that family physician I could find out was he circumcised he was too but theres no God what could you make of me when he used to be healthy not satisfied and I knew his tattarrattat at the canal was frozen yes it was l/4 after 3 when I looked up at the back of closed plane was heightened with FBI shouting go away in the morning dont forget I bet the cat she rubs up against the wall, then it would be like her a good time somewhere still she must have been so many things he said he was at them Im sure he would respect the results of—was very bad against Crazy Bernie, media would go wild I always want to do about him though I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the ears theyre a nice pair of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could have got him excited he crushed all the scribbling he does that mean I asked her to be tied though I wouldnt go sitting down in all my good drawers O I suppose 111 only have to dring it into his pocket of Wall Street Crooked Hillary will approve the job in Helys and I thought it would be catastrophic for the FBI criminal investigation announcement on the old guardhouse and the waves and the figtrees in the next year to get it done anyway! He should say that he will, and the two police officers up 78% this year. I saw to that till the next day we were in the beginning of the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the shelf well Im not no nor anything like it so clean compared with what with a much more.
I will put Gennifer Flowers right alongside of him!
We must keep evil out of self respect.
It will only get higher.
Thank you to Prime Minister Theresa May today to wish me congratulations on winning the Electoral College is actually genius in that Gibraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and left 7 years ago, was very handsome at that picnic all staysed up you cant help yourself I wish some man or pretending to hide it with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you met before I won in a place like that and VP cold. In Crooked Hillary's telepromter speech yesterday, very, very much to steal indeed the Lord knows what else still I liked him when he said he was a thing of beauty and poetry for you of course when I asked him I had that white thing coming from me and lost so badly they just don't understand the Movement Republicans must be the manager he gave me the things and no legs thats the way a quarter after what I did in this place like that Indian god he took out of him though I had then hed boo I bet he never felt me I heard he went no he made love then he tipped me just like the rest of day and life always something to sigh for a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe in it I suppose Im nothing any more when I think he made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind going away well I hope theyll have something better to cancel the upcoming meeting. Hillary's refusal to mention. Ted Cruz got booed off the sea all the good in the opposite house that medical in Holles street and he tell me his name is enough I kiss then would send them all spinning however alright well see then let him go to D.C. on January 20th 2017, will it take for African-Americans and Latinos to vote in two states, it will never come back Lord its just like to have the meeting between Bill Clinton stated that it showed he could feel him trying to sing out of my foot he noticed at once even before he left May yes it was a potent professor of John Jameson they all do they really have to change but it was asking you to Jack Morgan, Tamara Neo, Cheryl Ann Kraft and Coach B are total losers! Thank you to be always and ever wearing the same way as you do theyre usually a bit of salt in even when we moved in the State of Indiana and meet the hard working people. John has a thing like that that would feel the electricity in thr air. Stay safe! Maybe not!
Thank you to all, have been saying, Crooked Hillary would be called conspiracy theory! The third mass attack slaughter in days by ISIS. Democrat Governor. We will never have got him promoted there to be more pointed hell never know whether he did to me! This tax will make education a far more difficult & sophisticated than the thugs.
Such a big stake in it often enough in Santa Maria that gave me the Moonstone to read in bed with a turn in her very long and listening as I could always get round him and his straw hat the day I think I saw on him anybody can see his face before somewhere I went there for years, our country are amazing-great numbers on ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: TRUMP 32. Crooked Hillary has zero imagination and even less stamina. The opinion of this pooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that business for women what between clothes and cooking mathering everything he can swim of course then shed see him looking very bad and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink water then he comes and then wed have a small group of people who have not heard any of it hes a man theyre not afraid going about with respect to the other side of Jersey they were just beginning to yawn with nerves thinking he was introduced when I said on the stage the last letter from a G.Q. shoot in his fight to lead. Landing in Phoenix now. If the election! Despite winning the Presidency, the Chairman & CEO of ExxonMobil, is ridiculous and will be speaking in great singing voice no I never met former Defense Secretary Robert Gates. Crazy Bernie, run. Why did they say I left my purse in the street like then and a wonderful feeling there so many bad calls, is now! Crooked Hillary Clinton may be the least because he believes that Crooked Hillary is being treated very badly. Congressman John Lewis should finally focus on jobs, military, vets, end Common Core! The Bernie Sanders said, We have Paul Ryan, a total secret. We must restore law and order and protect America!
Ohio Gov.Kasich voted for NAFTA, a longtime U.S. ally, is a direct threat to our fantastic veterans. He knows nothing about me and he was glad to get African-American youth SUPER PREDATORS-Has she apologized? #MAGA Drugs are pouring into our country want borders, and so many things remember, I would be scorned & called terrible names! Hillary just took a major business while I campaign and finish #1, so complex-when actually it isn't! They were crushed last night about a womans bottom Id throw my hat that old commode I wonder what kind is that the Dems have still not in trouble for far less. Does President Obama spoke last night have passion for our country. When will we get? Is President Obama campaigned hard and never will. It has been largely forgotten, should release detailed medical records. Biggest crowds ever-watch what happens! Look where the world that I lost large numbers. I won-there was no longer a Bernie Sanders must really dislike Crooked Hillary, NOTHING.
It is a fact, that is possible, if that was dead gone on me. No more! Hillary can never beat Hillary Club For Growth tried to extort $1,000 deleted emails, perhaps, work together to solve the problems of poverty, education of your whiskers filling her up and down I tried with the fine gentlemen in their little bit of fun first God help us thats 1 consolation I wonder theyre not afraid going about serene with his finger I was afraid when that was to be slooching around down in Ennis like all through a long talk with an unlimited budget, jobs, and run as an independent! Our military will be caught! He did not give him the way thats why I liked though he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual like the dogs do it and if he was like Thomas in the sight of the jobs I am now going to the dying blessing herself for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I suppose Id have to wash in my mouth and teeth smiling like that God not those other ruck besides hes young again coming in at 9:00 this afternoon. Was probably treated badly! We love them. In November, I won in a box that Michael Gunn gave him to support our people are very smart and protect our great election victory. I can focus full time on fighting Republican nominee Thank you for their wonderful support. Once again someone we were never easy where we will win case! Also, Crooked Hillary Clinton ABC News/Washington Post Poll, Hillary Clinton raked in money from some old Aristocrat or whatever his name is not in my bed in the train by tipping the guard well O I suppose hes 20 or more Im not going to get rough the old Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a Gods notion where he wasnt now how did that excite him bad enough to spot that of The Bloomberg View-The FAKE NEWS media refuses to show the massive unreported crisis now unfolding—despite having to get rid of all time record in primary votes than she did! The National Enq. I couldnt tell him to cut them off him so he has to go out and laid on the chair when I was a bit washy of course I had a great plan! No wonder D.C. doesn't work, and we never did anything of course hed never have been precluded from voting! Toyota Motor said will build the wall! Looks like the one who predicted early that I want to keep himself from falling asleep after the way he made me go to Belfast just as good as if the winner of the terrible things they did and said like giving the questions in it though unless it really happened to me one time I saw he understood or felt what a bad thing for Crooked Hillary Clinton except for some Republican leadership. Hopefully the violent and vicious ads with her switch of false hair on her except when there was anybody that made my decision on who I would have won in every way! We cannot allow this.
Hillary sit behind CNN anchor chairs, or some other woman I can find or learn a bit on my speech had millions of dollars can and will only get better as a people w/a shared history.
Getting ready to explode. I am a harumscarum I know them well who was doing the loglady all day, especially when added to the late, great people expected. I WILL NEVER LET MY SUPPORTERS DOWN! James Clapper called me what was she 45 there was no-one like him-a disaster.
Just leaving Salt Lake City, Utah, for one thing laughing at the cleaners 3 whats that for any woman after coming out of her to be a widow or a loo her face a mass of hair I had 16 opponents, she had a splendid skin from the road he couldnt count the money I raised/gave! #Trump2016 #MakeAmericaGreatAgain Just leaving Miami for Houston, Oklahoma and Colorado. See her dumb tweet when a woman stands up to to get like Gibraltar my goodness the heat I couldnt think of me when I blew out the various Sunday morning with the U.S.A.G. to work out a Wisconsin ad talking about the massive unreported crisis now unfolding—In addition to winning the race-baiting to try with that one it wasnt washed out properly the last time Ill ever go there to be walking round after her still poor old man I suppose theyre dead long ago not those other ruck besides hes young again coming in lovely and tired myself and run down the wire with his glasses and him the very dishonest person! On Saturday a great favour the very dishonest and distorted media pushing Crooked hard. But I had a very interesting talk about! I can feel his mouth bigger I suppose theyre all mad to get like Gibraltar my goodness the heat there before the flood dressed up poor man and if I could always get round him and Billy Prescotts ad and Keyess ad and Tom Kernan that drunken little barrelly man that bit his tongue is too heavy sitting on this? I got somebody to give me chloroform or God knows hes a widower now I wonder is he awake thinking of me what was the first I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the lower back to Indiana tomorrow in New Mexico, now many bankruptcies. President Obama for first time after at mass when my petticoat began to slip down at the Golden Globes. Sad! We will MAKE AMERICA SAFE AGAIN! The same Russian Ambassador that met Jeff Sessions had with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with a handsome young poet at my age Ill throw them the garters I found in her room the Friday she was just beginning to be back home-make great deals!
Unbelievable evening. Hard to believe all his bad moves? My thoughts and prayers with the pleats a lot of bitches I suppose hes 20 or more Im not going to make me blush why should it either its the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose one of the truly great Phyllis Schlafly, I would have been a DISASTER on foreign policy from me I saw through him telling me all her ailments she had too on the floor half the girls in Gibraltar with that other wretch with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with some other Mr de Kock I suppose one of the window if there was anything wrong. Crooked Hillary sent Bill to have ever run for president, knows nothing about me or my campaign has perhaps more cash than any other way you see that Hillary Clinton only knows how to get up theres some new thing on the windowsill before all the same as if we met asking me if I had 16 opponents, she had me that exasperated of course the woman is not enough for me to win the nomination-& Paul Ryan, always fighting the Republican Primaries. 7 1/2 a minute after just to see him coming home at to anybody climbing down into the pot measuring and mincing if I went up Windmill hill to the F.B.I. Great Again. Bill Ford, Chairman and CEO of ExxonMobil, to Iran.
I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the asking he was awfully fond of me playing golf all day long curly head and his heavy watch but he might want to stop and not an old woman for him if hes anything of a shop and Ronda with the FBI spent on me like all needles my eyes to ask me those country gougers up in Belfast after what I had to say she was down there he was in the next room hed have something better for the powerful, and for the families and all kinds of things fuck or shit or anything at all after I tried to use leverage over me Im sure that queerlooking man in the U.S. Just arrived in Cleveland at Rules Committee by a local reporter. Numerous patriots will be there! Hopefully the Republican Party what to do immediately if not sooner will you be damned you lying strap O anything no matter by who so long as I settled the Trump University lawsuit for a long time, is very much in play for NSA-as are three others. Crooked Hillary Clinton adviser said, Hillary Clinton, perhaps I will work hard and so did I. Chicago murder rate is record setting-4,331 shooting victims with 762 murders in 2016. We will have by far the most corrupt person ever to seek the presidency, is ridiculous and will bring America together as friends, as it so now there you are like it or lump it he thinks he knows a great favour the very sacred election process. If the U.S.
I am an adulteress as the mischief really and the water rolling all over Asia imitating him as a girl Hester we used to say I must buy a mothball like I have known for a wad of money and hes not that I feel some wind in me now what am I at all to end! When they cancelled their big fireworks at the choir stairs after I took off my doll to carry about in my house stealing my potatoes and the coral necklace the straits shining I could have got it taken in drapery that never happened into news! I knew more about it Ill tell him to get well if he was at them and their borders. This Tweet from realDonaldTrump has been an interesting 24 hours! How nice, but also at many polling places-SAD! Thank you, I still number one! Interesting how the U.S. After the way He did so attractive to a girl where it was we were like cousins what age was he circumcised he was brave too he said the day Whit Monday is a fraud! Iran is rapidly taking over our country. -mails-PAY-FOR-PLAY.
I was only about ten was I too heavy on me like that all the time it was rotten cold too that lovely fresh place I bought it simply it makes your lips pale anyhow its done now once and for all hed ever care with it what has that got all the ends of Europe and Duke street and Holles street when he slinked out looking for a one week notice, the longest such delay in the gallery hissing the woman is supposed to be governed by the media, in order to be president because her husband in charge of the U.S., and never will. Will be another bad day for her can Milly come out please shes in great style at the time Id have to team up with a couple of the most of them its like those babies in the cloaks asleep in the hole as far only for that how much it will cost more than the Electoral College in that Spanish photo he has to go to Lambes there beside Findlaters and get her latest book, THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE! Pocahontas, pretended to understand it all over his old lottery tickets that was it at all the words they have it Great rally in Cincinnati is ON. Nobody can beat me on women. I hope theyll have something to H H the pope for a woman wants to destroy all miners, I am quite sure in a box that Michael Gunn gave him all over they can going out to be tied though I like it in his trowlers and Simon Dedalus son his father must have been a bit like that and not living at home more especially Jack Power keeping that barmaid he does it all round you like those names in Gibraltar even getting up to the bottom of the vote-this election is FAR FROM OVER! Great spirit! Very impressive people!
Lindsey Graham is wrong-they do we are flowers all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of the Great Depression! No big deal! Hillary Clinton's agenda. That is a black mans Id like to know her so either it was packed with great pros-WIN! Most importantly, she needs the rest of them then always hanging out of you senorita theres some new thing on the win than Hillary on the pier and the first floor drawingroom with a skirt opening up the stairs so long as to what was she 45 there was no decent perfume to be pretending to understand it all who ah that they are not widespread. THE SWAMP was no art in it but theyre coming into fashion again I bought it simply sickening that night it came to the person in the next day we didnt do it I suppose theyre dead long ago it seems centuries of course the man never even requested an examination of the least thing better yes hold them like the Bernie voters.
I first noticed him at Freddy Mayers private opera he had a real officers funeral thatd be awfully jolly I suppose he wont get or its some little bitch or other would take me completely out of nothing but bad publicity from the stage the last tag I wont forget that Crooked Hillary Clinton. He should say that but I was a child that big heathen I first noticed him when he said in his slippers to look drawn and run as an Independent, say good bye to the markets to see if she was very heavy but what do they see anything so terrible. So sad! The Democrats are delaying my cabinet picks for purely political reasons. Gregg Phillips and crew say at least he tried to bite the nipple I had to go shortly to various other veteran groups. Monitoring the terrible #Brussels tragedy. The Rust Belt was created by politicians like Cruz and Graham, who tried so hard he said with the sunray pleats that there was a letter on its way! My thoughts and prayers to the last time he came out and vote on Tuesday at 8:00 P.M. Don't believe the people. Lyin' Ted!
Together, we welcome you with that determined vicious look in his way to a speedy recovery for George and Barbara Bush, George W and George H.W. all called to congratulate me on to sing in the next time if its not true-just like the shop itself rummage sale a lot of coal miners & coal companies out of the pan calling the kettle blackbottom and I gave it I suppose I never did anything of course shes old she cant attract them any other way you see something was telling me pull the right reins now pull the chain then to the last minute. I hate that in women no wonder but he was going like mad and always edging to draw a picture naked to some rich fellow in his life simply ruination for any woman cutting up this old hat and patching up the tickets and swearing blazes because he never felt they could never go far enough up and undressing that icy wind skeeting across from those mountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the Glencree dinner coming back on him wait theres Georges church bells wait 3 quarters the hour l wait 2 oclock well thats a nice hour of the usual rowy house I couldnt rest easy till I was dying to find out something about poetry in it often enough and he so English all father left me in the cream muslin standing right against the wall if they hadnt all a mother how could he ride the steeplechase for the name I dont care what anybody says itd be great fun supposing he stayed with us why not I saw him that flower he said Im dining out and have got a chance! They will only go with and come again like that if she was very serious I had that white blouse on open in the wet all by himself with his foot for me! Sad this election. The rally in Anaheim. THE UNITED STATES IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS The U.S. has a thing like that when she sits at the other way what was the Malta boat passing yes the sea anyhow he always takes off his hat what a robber too that he always wore crooked as often as I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of flowers are those they invented like the king of Spain was born Im always getting enough for their confidence in me nice invention they made for women and murder gays.
I was badtempered too because she is not the way his money over selling the horses toenails first like he does at it again. Bus crash in Tennessee so sad & so terrible about it I hope theyll have something better to cancel the upcoming meeting. If the Republican Party. Millions of Democrats will run from her heavily armed Secret Service were fantastic! There will be rapidly reversed! Must be tough Reporting that Orlando killer shouted Allah hu Akbar!
Much of the Great Depression! BREXIT with big dollar ads. Arena was packed, totally electric! In Crooked Hillary's V.P. pick! Crooked Hillary?
We are getting along great, and the media is spending big Wall Street.
Thank you. Our way of saving face for him in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago am I in my hand a great job. The forgotten man and he was drinking water 1 woman is beauty of course he has that French letter still in his horsecollar I wonder will he ought to give me the belladonna prescription I had a damn sight less than the FBI and all kinds of things fuck or shit or anything at all hours answer the call!
Bad or sick guy!
What is going out to be there for tea 2 days after in the butchers and had to go out Ill read and study all I hear with a lion God Im sure hed have something to think myself into the tea well hes beyond everything I was biting off the street like then and a failed Senator like goofy Elizabeth Warren is weak on illegal immigration. I declare somebody ought to have brought him in Drimmies I was interested having to get up on a throne to count the money all the bits of streets Paradise ramp and Crutchetts ramp and Rodgers ramp and Crutchetts ramp and Bedlam ramp and the Dems win the nomination-& Paul Ryan.
Goofy Elizabeth Warren, couldn’t care less about the old mangy parcel he sent me the present of it the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what possessed her to write about it why cant you kiss a womans body yes that sometimes he used to compare our hair mine was thicker than hers she had too on the mahogany sideboard then dying so far away pianissimo eeeee one more song that was the evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed my heart at Dolphins barn I couldnt tell him I knew what was the good in going into mourning for the two Iowa police who were ambushed this morning see she wrote to say like making a big rally. Nothing ever happened with any of these women. Governor Mike Pence and family goodfornothings poor Paddy Dignam yes they were selling the meat market or that other fool Henny Doyle he was introduced when I saw him slip it into his head I ask pity it isnt all like him thank God some of those wildlooking gipsies in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched near the Bloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they hadnt all a womans dress and the support of Bobby Knight, has totally given up on the tiptop under the impression that we will make a deal work.
I am given little credit for my month a nice present up in China now combing out their pigtails for the future of the world was gloomy before I tore it up now at this age of course he had on and my tongue between my lips let them fool you-get out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at that picnic all staysed up you cant get on without us white Arsenic she put in his flannel trousers Id like a perfect devil for a poor man today and no wonder they hide it planning it Hynes kept me who did the White House A statement made by Mrs. Obama about Crooked Hillary hard on not using the Federal Court decision in Boston, which asked me would I yes I think Ill cut all this hair off me looking out of in Holles street squeezed and squashed into them and because I didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father waiting all the fine cattle going about that though I liked him because he never felt me I looked close in the Stabat Mater by going with me one of the Wikileakes disaster, with its poor coverage and massive premium increases like the RNC has and why are they theyre all right since I changed it the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys husband white head of the world to see. The protesters in New Hampshire today, talking about the jealous side whenever he got on his knee I made a false ad about me or if I could see over to Morocco almost the bay from Algeciras all the rock they were spooning a bit on the husband or wife either its the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose its all the lovely one she had one! Iran, #1 in terror, no honor! Big crowds.
Does anybody really believe that Hillary Clinton is being rigged by the bullneck in his slippers to look? Why isn't President Obama was tapping my phones during the so-called Commission on Presidential Debates admitted to us I wonder what kind is that she is running VERY WELL. Why would the USChamber be upset by the media. Sad! The Rust Belt was created by politicians like the pope besides theres something in the day we met Mrs Joe Gallaher at the window if there was no decent perfume to be back! I asked him about some dean or bishop was sitting beside me in the U.S. JOBS and SAFETY! Stay safe! The media makes me look bad! Hillary Clinton, perhaps I will stop it.
The U.S. has a 60 billion dollar trade deficit in many years!
Already in Crimea! Bill Kristol has been disqualifying. That is not a professor I hope that lamp is not so ignorant what a row and made that the media when our jobs to Mexico today, talking about the place in our politics … and is now being joined by the Dems have always their poor head I knew what it is hard to get him to cut them off him though I liked him when he cut his clothes have and losing it on me cocked sideways I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea to Africa when they knew a girl he was clever enough to get up theres some new thing on the floor half the night he walked home with Poldy after the results were in big trouble! Look forward to Governor Mike Pence as my Vice Presidential running mate. The media wants me and Boylan though as for them to be our President. How much more crime, failing schools and vanishing jobs. Rates going through the blind like the first mad thing comes into my head sometimes itd be great-love you and women that gave me the 8 big poppies because mine was the good in the time as if we had that white blouse on open in the place in our country and with the one from Flanders a whore of me when I lit that evening in San Diego, who embarrassed herself and her gabby talk about the monuments and he not long ago I smiled the best my blouse or touch him if we had in Ontario terrace and Ontario terrace and Lombard street west and another time it was getting too fond of it and stick out her false bottom to excite him bad enough to run-guilty as hell but the media and establishment want me to try some fellow 111 have to suffer Im sure by the back of the Great Depression! The Democrats had to get into bed Im sure thats the kind of flowers are those they invented like the dogs do it since I changed it the last 24 hrs. I snapped up the side I tormented the life out of the word a hairpin to open the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he wants TPP, NAFTA, a longtime U.S. ally, is ridiculous and will bring back our jobs.
Just cannot believe a judge, many of these women. I told her over and over some old opera yes and his fooling thats better I used to Gardner after with my foot we both ordered 2 teas and plain bread and butter I saw her when I gave him all the things getting dearer every day for the veterans and the mosquito nets I couldnt make out shawls amusing things but tear for the families and victims of the poorly defended DNC is discussed is that doctor one guinea please and asking for increase! Crooked Hillary Clinton. We will never reform Wall Street!
122 vicious prisoners, released by the finish pity I only wore it twice better lower this lamp and try again so as he see I wasnt he yes he had a great compliment to be so nice about searching for terrorists before they can out of this so-called angry crowds in home districts of some special kind of a woman I can feel his mouth was sweetlike young I put my arms around him yes and damn well fucked too up to their navels even when I told her over him because he must have been able to make up their own so they have friends they can excite a swell with money that can stop this! 100% fabricated and made-up stories and lies. Thank you Cleveland. New York-a great movement, we were in from Benady Bros and exploded it Lord what a woman while they can excite a swell with money that can stop this fast! With the exception of cheating Bernie out of those affected by two powerful earthquakes in Italy and Myanmar. The Mayor of San Jose were illegals.
Look forward to it!
Nice! Bill Ford, Chairman and CEO of ExxonMobil, is also one of those Sinner Fein lately or whatever she does she knows where to stop sure they wouldnt be in jail. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! I can accompany him first I thought well as current mission, but is bad and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink water then he tipped me just in passing but I was in fits of laughing with the childs bonnet on the clean sheet I wouldnt bother to even iron it out straight whistling like a perfect devil for a woman in the last of yesterday that made my skin I wanted to put some heart up into you at all to end! How low has President Obama.
Did Bernie go home and beauty when I asked him with all the rock standing up miles off my stockings lying on his coat without that one change them only not to look drawn and run down the platform with the silver dress and the U.S.
The ratings for the month of May see it all now plainly and they dying and why does Obama get a husband yes its only about 3 weeks I ought to chuck that Freeman with the cherries in them so bored sometimes I could have been left behind. Ted Cruz just used a picture cut out of race. Kasich are going very well a husband but you cant fool a lover after me his name on it and go home and beauty when I used to love coming home at to anybody climbing down into the front to encourage him as hes there my brown part then Ill start dressing myself to spy on them the 1st man Id meet theyre out looking for a mouse as white as a top N.Y. construction job, will no longer affordable!
Bill Kristol actually does get a special prosecutor to look across see her a wonder she didnt look a bit of a thing like that he cant say I pretend things can he without a Gods notion where he tried to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio brought it in his arms theres nothing like a warm showerbath O Maritana wildwood flower we sang splendidly though it was impossible to be a change in a massive rally. The media makes me look bad! If the ban. The National Border Patrol Council NBPC said that Crooked Hillary hard on straightening out our country. Goofy Elizabeth Warren as her running mate. Lyin' Ted Cruz can't get votes I am an adulteress as the thing answering me like that he was black and blue and yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink with the coffee she stood there standing when I was just getting out of her yes he was too beautiful for a poor man and he believed me that letter with all of my glove slowly watching him he was looking when I laid out the Hebrew on them hes certainly well off yes O yes her aunt was very serious I had to say no for form sake dont understand you I had it inside my petticoat began to slip down at the other side of Jersey they were subpoenaed by the voters will forget the rigged system is rigged! Big protest march in Colorado-big day planned-but we must enforce the laws of the cheque he got on his coat without that one denying it up like a man without going and killing one another and then plunging into the kitchen I was going to be written up with a cabbageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the dresser I knew his tattarrattat at the church first and then the bell bringing the vatican to the ends of Europe and the straits shining I could look at you like a mummy will I what did they say her tongue is too long for an excuse for running a terrible and boring rollout that was her nature what could you make of me or the language of stamps singing I remember shall I wear a kind of shirt he had the biggest of them pretending to read out the episode was on the wane she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its the least because he was scribbling something a letter sometimes twice a day sometimes and I wouldnt give in with those medicals leading him on the e-mails, resignation of boss and the Union Jack flying with all my compriments on your nerves then doing the hacking of the South China Sea? Unfortunately I have raised for our great country again united as Americans in common purpose and common dreams. Bernie Sanders was very heavy but what could you make of me like that nowadays full up of each other than the thugs. Wow, Ted Cruz should not have our best interests at heart.
Even though I have been able to solve some of them ever I suppose the clean sheets I just half smiled I know my chest was out that he was.
Jobs, trade and immigration will be.
Trieste-Zurich-Paris 1914—1921
Santa Barbara 2015—2017
#Ulysses (novel)#James Joyce#1922#automatically generated text#Patrick Mooney#Penelope#politics#American politics#presidential elections#21st century#Twitter#Donald Trump#2016#2017
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