#i miss simple things like tuning into much music countdown on sunday nights

[digitaluvr]

it’s concerning that i can still correctly yell out all the lyrics of justin bieber’s one time an entire decade later but can’t for the life of me recall what i learnt last semester in school

[usstatesofsong]

Countdown to #Eurovision: Yearly Reviews - 1982

We’re approximately three months away from the next edition of the Eurovision Song Contest, and while we’re waiting for more of the 2017 songs to be released before reviewing them (as we did last year), we’re going to revisit Eurovision song contests from the past and rank our favorites in each contest.

Welcome to Harrogate! Well, where is that? In North Yorkshire, apparently... as if all people should know where that is, of course... It’s in England, where I participate in watching the last contest that I’m not too familiar with - for a while, that is. From 1983-1996, I’m well-informed about the songs and the presentation. However, I’m curious enough to watch this edition in full; it’s only a little over two hours long. British efficiency – but of course! Jan Leeming (I think that’s her name) would lead a very structured and quick songs presentation and voting sessions; the first song is already starting about 8-9 minutes in! When we get to 1997, it’ll be an entirely different era of Eurovision starting to take form, and I’m interested in seeing that, too. Her French is a bit awkward and clumsy, but so will be 1983’s English and French, soo… what can we say. They didn’t try to pull anything crazy, but the presentation of 1982 wouldn’t be very memorable as a result. Moreover, there were only 18 countries – Greece, Italy, and France all jumped ship. For shame!

Again – I only know a few of these songs. I also know that everyone’s immediate reaction to Bucks Fizz winning the year previously was to start dancing and actin’ a fool. But I’m ever-so-eager to learn what else will surprise me here. Let’s go!

(Click the titles of the songs below to listen to the full-length songs.)

1. PORTUGAL – Doce, “Bem-Bom” - 13th place, 32 pts

God damn, Portugal! For two straight years you sent really fun and interesting music! They don’t usually do ‘wacky’ entries, but this was as close as they got back in that day. I love the thumping drums that keep the song moving and interrupt this from being a true disco-beat. The four ladies who sing the song have fun dance moves, all black and white ensembles, and the “Hey!” shout followed by two claps during the choruses enhances this song. The only thing I could fault them for is the vocals themselves, which are very basic. It’s just fun, and a great start to the contest.

2. LUXEMBOURG – Svetlana, “Cours apres le temps” - 6th place, 78 pts

With a name like Svetlana, I’m going to guess she is not a native Luxembourgian. Well, whatever – she’s beautiful, and her voice soars high into falsetto-land. High and above the heavens, at the end! She is attempting to fly like a bird and starts prancing like a ballerina. I’m not sure how I feel about the song itself, given it’s simple pop feel, very typical for that era. But I think it holds up well for what it’s setting out to accomplish. This is much different, and much better than, their 1981 entry – but they would perfect it even more in ’83.

3. NORWAY – Jahn Tiegen & Anita Skorgan, “Adieu” - 12th place, 40 pts

Gah, they’re back!  Actually I read somewhere something interesting about this – apparently Norway was getting tired of being relegated so lowly in the voting, so they put forth some ridiculous amounts of effort in ensuring the lyrical and musical quality of the song would sound less ‘Norwegian’ and be more accessible. I think it paid off! I am fonder of this than Luxembourg’s song already, and it’s simple but steady… at least, steadier than Jahn’s microphone. Calm down, dude, no need to be nervous! It’s cute, it’s cuddly, and very loving. Good on you, Norway!

4. UNITED KINGDOM – Bardo, “One Step Further” - 7th place, 76 pts

Alright, so you’re at home in the UK, watching your act take the stage and thinking how awesome it is that your country is hosting the biggest television show in the world. Two singers, a male and female, proceed to sit on the stage. Then this tribal drum sound starts up, the title comes stuttering up the screen, and the dancers start rolling and … air-humping? Wow, Mom and Dad, we sure are a great country! The problem with this song is that it tries to do EVERYTHING at once. It’s over-the-top. There are great parts, and horrible parts. Her singing is more inconsistent than the guy’s, too. I wanted to really like this, but all I can remember is how the first 10 seconds of the song were completely unnecessary.

5. TURKEY – Neco, “Hani?” - 15th place, 20 pts

“Not there, honey!” Okay, then where? Well, it’s obvious to me that the 1970’s aren’t completely over yet in Turkey. Now, Neco has a great voice; it takes a lot of confidence and experience to lead an effort like this. Also, the sounds that take over toward the end – the electro-disco synthesizers and drums - make this song so much better than the year before. A solid effort from the country that had yet to see a Top 10 placing.

6. FINLAND – Kojo, “Nuku pommiin” - 18th place, 0 pts

Oh… This is that song… LOL. Well, Finland makes sure to expand your idea of music, that’s for sure. I don’t know how they expected to score well with this song; the first two lyrics (in English) sound like “Yo sir Kunaka, eating cock-aaaa” and the credibility flies out the door. The chorus is “Bomb me – bomb me – nuku bomb me – lean on help a bomb”… It’s a rock song in Eurovision, and it’s very new-wave 80’s rock. Now, this is one of those “so-weird-slash-bad-slash-odd-that-its-good” entries. I’m having a hard time doing anything but making fun of the song. But in 1982, this was too progressive, and he literally screams half the song. The breakdown at the end is very cool, and he has a Bruce Springsteen vibe. He loses that rep when he makes a snore sound at the end. I don’t care if this was part of the original composition, it’s dumb. Why do the Finnish insist on making awkward sounds in the last five seconds of their music? (See 1980.) The man at the giant drum does this pirouette move and fails to pretend to hit the drum on queue. Watch it, it’s hilarious!! I will have to balance these things towards the end with my voting. Summary: this song is awesome. But it’s challenging.

7. SWITZERLAND – Arlette Zola, “Amour on t’aime” - 3rd place, 97 pts

Well this pondered right into the hearts of the 50 and 60-year-olds watching from home, huh? I get a weird half-Aunt vibe from Arlette; not to mention, she’s trying to be Kate Bush a-la Wuthering Heights during her ESC performance, dress and all. She has the right voice to take this song to new heights, though, and it’s very schlager. But it’s not in a category of song that I wish to pursue after I’m done watching this song contest.

8. CYPRUS – Anna Vissi, “Mono i agapi” - 5th place, 85 pts

This has a very melancholic feel for a ballad, and I sure do love it. It harkens to “Johnny Blue” but carries a true sense of lament. This song shows off Anna’s vocals so much more than “Autostop” did, not to mention, her intonation is flawless. Literally not even one note was out of tune! I can definitely feel something going on here, and it’s probably the best ballad of the night thus far!

9. SWEDEN – Chips, “Dag efter dag” - 8th place, 67 pts

There was supposedly a band named Chips in the Irish National Selection, which could have caused the very interesting and odd situation of two groups with the same name in one contest! This is so lame, I’m sorry. Interestingly it’s similar in design and content to the 1985 winner, but for whatever reason I could feel the energy and jubilance of that song. This just looks lame, and outdated. Maybe it’s those loser saxophone players; I don’t know. There’s also some weird thing going on toward the end that lends influence by ABBA themselves. And ABBA you are not. Get off stage, please.

10. AUSTRIA – Mess, “Sonntag” - 9th place, 57 pts

You named your song ‘Sunday’? You... named your group “Mess”? This song is a mess. Well, this is the reverse of the UK – the female singer is much better than the male. But again, it’s a lame throwback song. Are there any redeeming qualities to it? Uhhmmm… well, they look colorful on stage? And the man did a good job at catching the girl? No, this is definitely a candidate for the big goose egg from me, which hurts – I really like most of Austria’s songs from the 1980s.

11. BELGIUM – Stella, “Si tu aimes ma musique” - 4th place, 96 pts

Yes! We have officially entered the world of 80s pop! It’s a bit schlager, but not too bad. And dare I say that Stella is knock-dead gorgeous. Yes, I do love your music! Now the lyrics end up coming off as a bit corny, and I’m not sure how well the Francophone countries scored this, but the composition boosts this one for me. It has a very sunshiney feel that was missing from the previous two songs, since those came off as so fake. This actually makes me happy!

12. SPAIN – Jan Lucia, “El” - 10th place, 52 pts

I was listening to the Spanish commentary leading up to this entry, and it was really conserved – but I imagine the hype was there! Lucia is such a diva on stage, and she controls the audience with her delivery. It’s very Spanish and it’s basically tango music, but I have to love the dance breakdown halfway through the song. What an interesting way to enhance its uniqueness. Spain has recovered from an otherwise dull past two years! So, knowing that ethnic can work, what do you think they’ll send in ’83? …. :D

13.  DENMARK – Brixx, “Video-video” - 17th place, 5 pts

Oh my god, Denmark, you actually sent new wave music to Eurovision!!?!?!? YES! The music television era has begun! Now, let me guess – the song did horribly with the juries. It is a tad short, and the front-man’s voice is a bit cringe-worthy at times. But talk about a song that can get stuck in your head… “Video! Video! Ja, video mej”. I’m definitely rewarding this some points if I can!

14. YUGOSLAVIA – Aska, “Halo, halo” - 14th place, 21 pts

Okay, I was watching the first 15 or so seconds of the beginning of this performance thinking, “Okay, so the only really bad comment I have so far is their clothing. Not a deal breaker!” but then they started singing, and I put my hand to my face. Not only does the orchestra have to literally quiet down so that these ladies’ voices can be heard, but then you’re welcomed with a bunch of 45-year-old housewife voices grooving and sidestepping to a schlager-fest. No thanks. There are… okay elements to this, especially towards the end, but it’s too late. The lady in the black dress looks so bored. It’s too bad because I recognize one of the singers (the one in blue) – she’d return in 1983 as a backup singer for a much better song.

15. ISRAEL – Avi Toledano, “Hora” - 2nd place, 100 pts

This is one of the other few songs I’m aware of (save for the winner) for a very hilarious reason. Problems with the design of the British stage become evident during this performance; at about 1:27 in from the beginning of the song, the female dancer on the back-right knocks over her microphone, making a very audible fall. You don’t actually see it fall, but when they cut to the next shot, you see it on the floor. The female dancer on the back left is looking over to her like, “God damn it you messed this up for us!” and I laugh it off. There’s just not enough space to do those dances on that stage. But listen – the song itself is fantastic, perhaps even the best dance song of the night. Very Israeli, but powerful, driving, and led by Avi, who sings it with all he’s got. An excellent entry! And just when you think it can’t get any louder and bombastic, it does! Whoever composed this song for the orchestra deserves a gold medal. For real.

16. NETHERLANDS – Bill van Dijk, “Jij en ik” - 16th place, 8 pts

Okay. I had to pause this video and get over some laughter – what is it with people not realizing how their lyrics could be interpreted in other languages? Surrounded with girls, Bill runs up in surprise, points to the audience, and croons, “Cake!” As for the song itself, it’s so 80’s. And then the female drummer winks at you with total honesty. And then Bill grinds against the magenta-dress-wearing backup singer. And then Bill gargles a Dutch lyric. Then he screeches a bit. And then he does the reverse splits. And points some more. And pirouettes. Good luck winning, guys. Now I want cake.

17. IRELAND – The Duskeys, “Here Today, Gone Tomorrow” - 11th place, 49 pts

The Irish brought disco schlager to Britain. Fitting! Given what the Irish have accomplished in all the years they’ve been doing this contest, prior and later on, this seems so lame and effortless compared to others. The only thing I can think of is that this music was big at that time in Europe. For what it sets out to accomplish, it’s not the worst thing in the world – I like the harmonics of the voices during the “Here today, gone tomorrow” lyrics. But it has not aged well. And the “la-la-la”s are a cop-out.

18. GERMANY – Nicole, “Ein bisschen Frieden” - 1st place, 161 pts

You know, this is a quite peculiar song to end the series of songs prior with! The order of the songs was always random in these days, so only one could wonder how Nicole would’ve finished if she were placed differently amongst the other tunes. Despite all this, this song rocked the show so hard because everyone felt the need to capitalize on what Bucks Fizz’s win brought to Eurovision; even Britain. Germany stripped it all down and sent a girl with a guitar to center stage, sit down, and sing a song about peace. And it was a great song, too; probably the best folk song ever entered into Eurovision. Definitely deserving of the win; Germany’s first win!

Just another anecdote - Israel and Germany would trade each other the douze points on the night, which was seen by many as a sign of putting past histories aside for the sake of music and peace. If only some of the countries participating today could do such a thing! Ahem, Azerbaijan...

My votes:

12 - Germany 10 - Israel 8 - Portugal 7 - Cyprus 6 - Belgium 5 - Denmark 4 - Norway 3 - Spain 2 - Turkey 1 - Finland 

(Luxembourg and Switzerland come close to scoring, though!) The “Big Fat 0″ award: Austria Honorable Mention: Luxembourg Worst Dressed: Sweden 

And here is the overall count of points thus far:

1st - 26 - Germany (1982) 2nd - 19 - Portugal 3rd - 18 - Greece (1981) 4th - 17 - Belgium 5th - 13 - Ireland (1980) 11 - Denmark 11 - Norway 10 - France 10 - Israel 8 - Luxembourg 8 - United Kingdom 7 - Cyprus 6 - Spain 5 - Turkey 3 - Finland 2 - Sweden

- 50SS