#i miss honkai sm
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saetoshis · 1 year ago
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UWAAA im finally playing hi3 again so i can understand more of the lore since i never did all the story quests AAAA n dreamweaver is just the prettiest i want her 🤕🤕🤕
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keyotos · 1 year ago
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loved you every single day
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summary ⎯ what is love for the xianzhou guys? that's basically it. very sappy and tender and sentimental.
includes ⎯ dan heng, blade, jing yuan
tana's words ⎯ hi...
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dan heng
⎯ dan heng had a vague understanding of what love felt like. before the astral express, he never really knew what love really felt like due to memory loss. but he learned, eventually.
⎯ he found love when himiko always offered to make another coffee cup for him (this time, with the blend he enjoys). he found love whenever march/stelle would check on him during the late hours of the night, knowing he'd be buried in books. he found love whenever welt offered to shoulder the burdens of keeping watch during trailblazing missions.
⎯ but he has never felt love like this before. not with you anyway.
⎯ there was a sense of loyalty he had for you. of course, he was obviously also loyal to the crew, but it was different with you.
⎯ you made him want to follow you towards the end of the universe. you made him want to run with you into the light or whatever awaits the both of you later on. he was willing to do all of it.
⎯ why? a lame question to ask, he thinks. there are hundreds of reasons why, and he could list them easily. was your smile and the way it instantly warmed an entire room enough reason? or should he add onto the fact that you were practically made of stardust and cosmic radiance? that you have some kind of miraculous or even transcendental ability to string words so brilliantly that it manages to calm the harshest of voices down?
⎯ and love was scary for dan heng, at first. there were too many hindrances and difficulties in his life. for one, he could not let you get caught up in his past. he wouldn't: he would make sure of it. for two, he wasn't very used to love.
⎯ yeah, there was the express crew. but there was also you. dan heng thought that he would spend the rest of his life alone. he still has not settled into his room on the express because he reasoned that he'd stay until the archives until he was ready to leave. but you challenged all of that.
⎯ how is it that one person could make him want to stay by their side forever? how is it that you have such an enormous effect on him, yet you aren't even aware of it? every wall or barrier he's put up, you've always managed to erode it down. you allowed him to be vulnerable and you allowed him to be carefree. you allowed him to relax. to breathe.
⎯ loving you, was to breathe, for dan heng. you were the gasp of air that he needed while he was drowning beneath the waters. finally being able to decompress and unwind; he felt lighter around you. less stressed, less worried. less stoic. less somber.
⎯ he has never even thought of love like that before he had met you. but you changed him. and he is eternally grateful for that. eternally grateful for you. you are his home, his safe space, his sanctuary of security.
⎯ so he repays you often. he knows what kind of tea you drink and how to make it by heart. he makes a cup for you every morning. you have your own shelf in his archive. hell, you have your own damn space in there as well. there's an indent of you in every corner of every room.
⎯ or maybe, dan heng is so accustomed to you that he sees you in everything.
⎯ he lets you read from his shoulder. he has a shelf filled with all your favorite books from various worlds in his archives. he lets you sleep on his body rather than the flacid mattress on the ground, because he wants to keep you as comfortable as you've kept him. his fingers trace your body every night you stay with him, to ensure that you are safe and you are here, and he is home.
"are you sure you're comfortable like this?" you ask, situated on top of dan heng's body. you're partly afraid that you'll crush him with your entire body weight on him, and that his back would hurt after tonight, "wouldn't it just be smarter to crash in my room instead?"
his chest rises and falls underneath you, getting slower and slower as time goes by, "if you'd like. we can go."
you bite the inside of your lip in thought. it would be safer to do so, for both your and dan heng's safety. but, to be honest, you were very comfortable and tired. "is your back gonna be okay after this?"
"it'll be fine," he brushes off, "besides, you've been sleeping on me for the past few nights now. i can handle one more night."
"huh???"
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blade (contains lore spoilers)
⎯ love was something blade has always lived without. as a child, with war and battles as a constant on his homeworld, there wasn't any room for affection or anything similar.
⎯ but then you came along, practically shaking his entire world. there you were, dragging him off to drink god awful mung bean soda. to force him to go outside on days where he was over-occupied with work. to let him enjoy something for once in a while. to let him rub his thumb over yours in the quiet hours of the night, forgetting about work and all other duties.
⎯ he had never thought that loving could be so easy until he met you. it seemed as though time would stop in his tracks whenever he saw you. blade thought it was a myth coming from romance novels (one he had heard from you, ironically enough), but it proved to be, in fact, real.
⎯ and everything was easy. up until everything wasn't. it was one thing, then the other. baiheng passed, jingliu was extremely distraught. it was wearying to see everything go so downhill, so fast. nobody was ever the same after that period.
⎯ yet even after all that, you still had the same look in your eye. you looked at blade the same way you looked at him all those years ago. so much has changed between the both of you, and you know that the both of you would never be able to return to the past.
⎯ though, even after all of that, some things remained the same. for example, the way you never failed to take his breath away. seeing you for the first time in years had him going through a plethora of feelings: distraught, appalled, and slightly less dejected.
⎯ but most importantly, there were still parts of the other's heart still beating for each other. even if you couldn't love him anymore, you still cared about him. you cared about him the same way you did all those years ago.
⎯ you went out of your way to find him. you went out of your way to offer him solace, even if it was for one last time. why? he didn't want to know, he didn't want to ask. he has a mission: he has to pursue it, always. nevertheless, he still found himself underneath the sun's rays, as it managed to follow him wherever, saying, "i'm here. even if you don't see me sometimes, i am still here."
⎯ and if you still cared... well, there was still hope, right?
he's leaning over a rail, looking over the xianzhou skies and the starskiffs racing by. he hasn't been back in ages. it feels... strange; it feels as if he's experiencing his first day all over again.
blade is so fascinated by the sight that he fails to hear your footsteps come closer, now reaching his side. he only hears you after you clear your throat. he's startled, for obvious reasons: but, when he sees you hold up a mung bean soda in surrender, he's surprised at how fast the panic dies down.
"aren't you going to arrest me?" he took a step back from you. you didn't move, but instead held out the drink.
"i could," you dragged out, checking your watch, "but... i'm not on duty," the corners of your lips turn up ever so slightly, like you were happy at the fact that you were having a drink with a criminal. you pull open the tab and take a sip, then offer it towards him.
he blankly stares at your hand. remembers the feeling of it in his. now, his mind is skewed. maybe even grotesque if he wanted to sound dreadful about it. but there are few happy memories he can recall, as well as the feelings during them, and it seems like you are recreating one of them currently. and oddly enough, there are no feelings of bitterness that follow him this time.
he takes and drinks the mung bean soda, and to his surprise, it’s not as bad as it was many years ago. maybe it was because your lips were on it, or maybe it’s because the once atrocious drink did get better. and when he looks up and is greeted by your curious face, he hopes that love is like that as well.
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jing yuan
⎯ years ago, if you had asked jing yuan what love was, he'd say something benign: love is indescribable. a simple answer for a simple man in love. but oh, has time took its toll.
⎯ it isn't to say that love isn't indescribable. on some days, he finds it worrying that he may love you too much⎯that his willingness to give you the world was a bit concerning at times. others point it out, but jing yuan chooses to be blindsided. but he is always aware.
⎯ aware. jing yuan is nothing short of perceptive. he has been around for centuries. he has been there for wars, for battles, for decrees. and it sticks with him: forever. he does not simply forget, yet he is forced to stay in one place forever. immorality may be a blessing for others, but a curse for xianzhou natives.
⎯ he does not give himself a moment to fully relax. even if it seems that way a lot (the dozing general needs his power naps), he is always back to his duties.
⎯ however, it's different with you. with you, he has no burdens to shoulder. he has no secrets to keep from you. there is no wall of tension blocking between you. with you, everything is for grabs. his feelings, his emotions, his heart.
⎯ vulnerability. many look down at the vulnerable. and in jing yuan's line of work, the cost of vulnerability comes with a substantial price. his guard has to be up at all costs, because if not, there would be another catastrophe. his act as a lazy general is just a rouse, because there is so much that's weighing on him inside.
⎯ in a city that flies, jing yuan feels rooted by the weight of the luofu.
⎯ so imagine the amount of unconcern he feels when he's around you. the feeling of rocks suffocating him has subsided, and you are here to remove them. and one by one, he begins to feel lighter and lighter as you hull them off.
⎯ and you don't get tired. you're still here. you keep picking off the rocks, even the smallest ones. you relentlessly continue until everything is gone, and the only things left are just you and him.
⎯ by now, he understands what love is. it's when he knows how your fingers have ran through every crevice of his brain, every knot in his stomach, every knot in his soul. it's understanding. it's being able to shoulder the weight of the world with another. it's someone staying to help you get the rocks off of your body.
⎯ love is being met with soft touches instead of daggers. love is being met with mhms and reallys while retelling a story from this morning. love is being able to speak about the past, the truth of it all, and allowing the light to peek through instead of the darkness. that is what love is.
"and then, get this, i found him in the midst of a fight with blade," jing yuan throws his head on your shoulder exasperatedly, disregarding the fact that you were halfway through your novel.
"well, he was doing his job," you counter, looking back towards your lover.
"i know," he slides a hand across his face, "it's just tiring. and i don't want him to get hurt." like others, is the unspoken phrase here. it's on the tip of his tongue, you know it.
you place a bookmark in your book before shutting it. you finally turn your full attention towards jing yuan, "he's strong. you trained him."
"but," he sighs, "what if it's not enough?"
you decide the mood is a little too melancholic, so you decide to lighten the mood a little bit, "then i'll take over as general of the luofu," you grinned. jing yuan smiled as well: your smile was infectious, how could he not?
you ran a hand through his hair, "you are good enough. i hope you know that. you won't fail yanqing. he's tough and stubborn... he sadly gets that from you."
jing yuan chuckles, a real chuckle, and pulls you closer to him as you grab your book once again. he presses a chaste kiss to your temple as he reads along to the same words on a page as you.
yes, things will be okay, he thinks.
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hi y'all! i have been sooo busy w sm stuff lately, like i've been preparing for college and i've been going to the gym and i've been doing sm. updates have been scarce except like the 3 alhaitham posts (i couldn't resist). but hopefully during these last few weeks of summer i can get my grind back on!!!
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zephyrine-gale · 1 year ago
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I recently got into Honkai Star Rail through you art and I was wondering what made you ship Blade and Dan Heng? Hope you have a great day ❤️
they had sprinklings of lore throughout the game and I love that! also the very first dan heng nightmare pv was 👀 that was the first thing that made me curious about their dynamic I'm also a sucker for dynamics that are a little unhinged and plague each other's dreams, gotta have a healthy balance of feral so the more intimate moments hit harder ajfjgkgh it's that friends to lovers to tragedy to enemies pipeline
it's that unrequited connection from someone forced to live because of past consequences, and someone who bears the weight of those sins but desperately wants to disconnect from the past. they're currently at their lowest rn but that just means they can only go up from here, and I'm really interested to see how they interact once they learn more about their past
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their backstories are very much intertwined, alongside the high cloud quintet. I'll put some stuff that stands out to me below the cut!
Nowhere to Run lightcone
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This isn't the first time he's seen this man. This man had become his own inseparable shadow. No matter how many times he runs this man through with his spear, the man always comes back. He can neither lose to this man, nor truly win. Though he wants to run away, there is nowhere to run.
Dan Heng's char story II
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Very sus of u blade to chase after another man through countless planets and still recognize him after he's changed his appearance
Blade's char story II
The black-haired young man shivered violently all over, but still clutched onto the spear in his hands. He had no dragon horns, and his reaction was slightly less mature than he remembered... But he would never forget this spear, these eyes, and how cruelty burst out from beneath the mirror-like emerald calmness. His wounds began to heal. His irises flickered and fixed their gaze at the boy once more. Without hesitation, the boy made another flourish with the spear... "That's it." The one who showed no mercy to enemies - was you. The one who single-handedly buried the beloved - was you. The one who almost led the place called home to its destruction - was also you. He fell down again. The teen pressed his hand against his own wounds and retreated, until he was no longer in the man's sight. "Before I witness your death in person, we will meet again, ███."
the beloved = blade the blacked out name = dan feng/imbibitor lunae it implies they knew each other in the past, but DH doesn't remember. Blade doesn't remember much about his past either, only that his mara strikes are triggered by seeing his xianzhou friends of the past (he most likely doesn't remember them as friends)
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They share a pair of bracers!
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the entire Passerby of Wandering Cloud set is Blade lore! he's such a tragic character, he's been through quite a lot, you should give it a read if you have the time :'>
this one is the backstory for the dragon bracer:
It seems that pairs of objects have telepathic connections with each other. Though the unnamed only had one bracer in his possession, his fingertips could still faintly feel the temperature from the other. He closed his eyes, trying his best to extract any information about the other bracer from the tenuous connection, be it its location or master. A slender yet strong hand once wore the other bracer. That owner, whose sharp spear glinted with a cold light and flourished like shooting stars, once sparred with the unnamed. That owner also once shared company and drinks with the unnamed, the two of them simply gazing at the moon with no words exchanged. However, in the end, it was also this person who stubbornly adhered to their plans with the unnamed, turned the beloved into a monstrosity, and pushed all into an abyss of eternal hatred and remorse. Pairs of objects are destined for an eventual reunion. The long years of grudges and hatred between them should be savored, like ice-cold aged liquor, one slow sip after another until the bottle of resentment is finally empty. Would the wearer of the other bracer feel the same? The unnamed didn't want to know.
the unnamed = Blade = Yingxing
drinking under the moon together -> in cn this is very ceremonial bond/close relationship-coded. Yingxing and Dan Feng were close
Yingxing, a short life species craftsman
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Yingxing has the bracer on his right arm and Dan Feng has the other pair on his left
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They also share jade pendants (they look like they'd slot together, forming the head and mouthpiece of a cn lion)
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This is a line from a vidyadhara egg, but I find the implications very fitting for them :'>
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Yingxing created DH's Cloud-Piercer (as well as the other weapons for the High Cloud Quintet)
Blade's char story IV
He remembered that, decades ago, he came to the Xianzhou with a merchant vessel and was impressed by the superb craftsmanship of this place. The young man was obsessed to the point of forgetting to eat or drink, and spent his inspiration like he was running out of time. He forged hundreds of marvels, four of which were the most famous. ... The black-haired man with dragon horns used his water manipulation abilities to rejuvenate his allies, and in the next moment he bound the water upon his spear and used it to ran his enemies through.
Blade's iris shape is similar to IL's lotus motif. lotuses symbolize resilience and rebirth--fitting for both of them, though one came back wrong :'>
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Blade | About Dan Heng:
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It's been heavily implied that Dan Feng and Yingxing did something that caused catastrophe and resulted in DF being forced to molting rebirth + banishment, and Blade being cursed with immortality and banished.
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Dan Feng trusted Yingxing enough to sneak him into the Scalegorge Waterscape and let him do research--into what? we're not sure yet, but since Yingxing is a craftsman, he's probably creating something from the ambrosial arbor?? or from something relating to the vidyadharas. Perhaps he got cursed with Shuhu's gift here?? or DF somehow gave YX immortality, who knows...
I think their plan may be related to what we learn from Imbibitor Lunae's companion quest
SPOILERS FOR IMBIBITOR LUNAE'S COMPANION QUEST
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There's a big focus on vidyadhara's immortality through molting but inability to reproduce, so any casualties in their numbers results in a permanent decrease in their numbers. Dan Feng's sin may be related to changing that (and failing, creating a dragon abomination that they had to fight against instead. although a whole separate vidyadhara was born from the catastrophe--Bailu).
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END OF SPOILERS
Big hc delulu hrs now
Maybe being around the High Cloud Quintet made Dan Feng realize he didn't have a legacy to leave behind, unlike them. Every high elder becomes like the former, they lose their own sense of identity. I'd imagine being around a group of friends with their own agency, who also saw DF as a normal person, made him realize he also wanted to break free from the high elder cycle.
Yingxing may have been DF's biggest wake up call just bc he's a short life species who has done so much, who achieved more than anyone could imagine in a fraction of a lifetime of those in the Xianzhou. DF saw a star shine bright and couldn't help but follow and maybe wish he'd never lose sight of it as well.
Maybe it was for the selfish reason that he didn't want to lose these memories of the people who truly cared for him--of the people he truly came to care for--that he committed such a grave sin
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He was dehumanized by everyone around him, I wouldn't put it past him to just. Snap one day, break his cold and calm poise, cry of desperation and fear of losing something dear to him
This kinda became a DF thing but personally, while DH himself may want to distance himself from DF, they're still the same person with shared memories (that DH can't remember)
It's similar to how Blade distances himself from Yingxing because he can't fathom his former self becoming the monstrous thing he is now
I'm really looking forward to when they can both reconcile and put their past to rest
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artheresy · 10 months ago
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Do you ever think about how it’s canon that Blade is constantly in pain? How he constantly feels the aches of wounds engraved into his time and time again because they couldn’t properly be healed by the abundance dwelling within him? How something’s healed wrong and now he feels how wrongly they healed every second of his life? How he can feel his body being continuously reconstructed, a never ending cycle of his body being torn apart and rebuilt? How his hands can no longer forge because they have been destroyed? How multiple parts of his body, from his hand to his leg to his chest all the way down his torso (if you check his model) are encased in bandages?
And how Bailu’s line about him smelling like fresh blood has the potential for many interpretations, including the potential that some of the wounds Ren has that his body refuses to heal could literally still be open and bleeding?
Because I do, I think about it all the time. The state of constant pain that's he's in due to the very thing keeping him alive and not letting him finally die and rest and all of that coming together to be why he's so severely tired and just wants to rest? Yeah that lives in my brain
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tanukified · 1 year ago
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Ely 🩷
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like-red-lads · 2 years ago
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Herrscher of the void if she ever decide to become a counselor
Herrscher of Void : Accept your flaws. You’ll feel better. It worked for me.
Kiana : You accepted your flaws?
Herrscher of Void : No, I accepted your flaws.
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fukirvana · 2 years ago
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this chapter wouldnt be perfect without them SO I DREW MY FAVORITE MOMENTS + them being badass besties from now on
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mochinon-yah · 1 year ago
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just saw some weird stuff in pinterest, like bro i don't think that's relevant to blade???? anyway here's the doodle of the guy i was searching for:
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his hair idk it's so hard, can't draw whatever mess his hair is honestly :/
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nessa-writes-stuff · 9 months ago
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THIS YES I MUST HAVE HER THE MINUTE SHE GETS A RERUN
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No words 10/10 beautiful .
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I have many questions
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( i though teri couldn't age physically past a certain point and why's she so tall, im not used to this)
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elegyofthemoon · 6 months ago
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slight honkai ramble since im currently playing through ch 20
idk why i'm actually kinda fond of this scene where kiana's the one whose being distrusting because it really contrasts what you'd expect out of the persona she put up at the beginning of the game, and then have bronya be the one to remind kiana to believe in the good of others - bronya, the one who had yearned so much to be treated like another human being and found it during her time in the orphanage and then at st freya. its a small conversation but its sO good
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you have no idea how excited i am though to learn more about the flamechasers. i have a few memories already unlocked in elysian realm because i'm impatient and i love running through them but getting to see more about them via fu hua's memories + the divine key manga is soooo painful. i hope we get to know more about fu hua's captain and even the relationship between the captain and kevin.
also kevin killing the captain though. idk why that through me back to one of kiana's flashbacks about himeko telling the girls on their first mission that if she turns into a zombie to kill her off. so i'm mostly just waiting around to see a more vivid flashback about the captain than her death scene being displayed all the time.
i was also thinking too. hua trying to argue with kevin that the captain did not become a herrscher reminds me so much of chen tianwu and ana schariac's story where tianwu really believed ana can be saved from being a herrscher only to turn herrscher himself and both of them dying as a result. i wonder then if tianwu and ana's story was meant to mean anything in relation to hua's feelings here, outside of being a parallel to mei's downfall as well. HMMM...
and one last thing
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kiana arguing about why is fu hua doing things on her own (i mean: fu hua forgot a lot of her memories but--). thats almost ironic given kiana was so ready to shoulder the world and fight for good on her OWN AND THATS WHY MEI IS IN THE POSITION SHE IS NOW ORZ
these girls and trying to do things alone. GUYS YOU ALL LOVE EACH OTHER PLEASE --
but man, i sure am enjoying myself: more flamechaser stuff and more fu hua !! so im really excited to see how the rest of this story goes.
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pinkrose05 · 7 months ago
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T-minus seven days until Ren returns from the war.
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byfulcrums · 1 year ago
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Man I miss when Honkai was fun to play
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kaitaiga · 2 years ago
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Apologies for literally falling off of tumblr lol I’ve just been in a slump these last couple of weeks and I really just needed to take a step back and get myself back in order again :|
Anyways, enjoy this little pic I took on a walk today :) The water was so still and the tide was high…not a cloud in the sky either…pretty.
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artheresy · 8 months ago
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I firmly believe Abbey by Mitski is a Blade song and no one can convince me otherwise
There's something about the lyrics, conveying not only a deep sense of dissatisfaction but the implication of the speaker not knowing themselves outside of tragedy in lines like "There is a light that I can see / But only, it seems, when there's darkness in me" and my GOD does it just scream Blade to me
Across both lifetimes, it fits together so well
Because when you get down to it, not even as Yingxing, his life was still shaped and steeped in tragedy from the moment he was a young young child (as emphasized by BH's travelogue) all the way up until his death and transformation. It was always dominated by revenge, and even when perhaps the vengeance died down in his older age, he was still caught in this continuous feeling of trying to prove himself to people who never were going to properly acknowledge him or see his worth. In his next lifetime, tragedy strikes him once again. Perhaps even his existence in and of itself is a tragedy, but after his time with Jingliu, he once more is consumed by revenge. And with the way he dehumanizes himself, his deal and the way he goes about his goals, perhaps Blade can't see himself outside of that revenge considering his wish is to die as it finally finishes, to have a "final funeral to the unnamed's life and to everything he ever hated."
He makes me feel a lot of things, I need Hyv to bring him back or else
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like-red-lads · 2 years ago
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A wishful hope or a cruel dream ?
(unfinished mini comic for kiana&hov b'day)
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giamee · 8 months ago
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✦ ⠂⠂୨୧ ENJOY THE SILENCE
ಇ roommate!dan heng x reader ︴wordcount :: 0.5k ︴contains :: nothing of note, uhhh dan heng plays guitar ︴part two ︴requested by @/anon
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ఌ︎. | DAN HENG
another sweetheart of a roommate
carries stuff for you without question or much room for debate from you
you're trying to move around furniture? dan heng magically appears, rolling up his sleeves slightly with an "allow me"
you're coming back from a shopping ship and preparing to carry the bags up your three flights of stairs? dan heng's already got you, easily taking hold of all the bags that you were struggling to carry mere seconds ago
it's a bit of a bummer, to be honest, that these were seemingly the only interactions that you had with the man
he was a bit of a homebody, and it was only a few weeks that you had been roommates with him
you're still adjusting to how his routine differed to yours, and found yourself encountering your first major clash
there was nothing that you liked to do more in the evening than use it as an opportunity to relax
after showering and making yourself a mug of tea, you were all cosy in bed and ready to catch up on your show
and just before you get it ready, you hear something from down the hall
granted, it's a little faint, but you can make out the sounds of someone playing an instrument
the melody was catchy, and on a whim you decided to get out of your warm cosy bed and see what exactly it was, padding out into the hallway
and you didn't mean to be nosy, honest, but dan heng's door was wide open to begin with and there he sat on the edge of his bed, guitar in his hands as he played a song
his eyes met yours quickly and he stopped playing, his eyes darting over your figure before he could help himself, and you blushed as you remembered your rather... revealing choice of pyjamas for the night
"sorry, did i disturb you?"
you shook your head quickly, offering a sheepish smile
"no, no, you're good. i just heard you playing and wanted to check it out. you're really good, by the way"
your compliment catches dan heng off guard, judging by the way his cheeks colour
"oh, thanks. i'm in a band, so... i try"
you nod, and there's a bit of a pause as the two of you just look at each other
the same hands that are so eager to help you carry your bags tap nervously against the guitar, and you observe the way the tendons flex with his movements. the instrument would explain how veiny his hands are, you supposed
dan heng clears his throat and you flick your eyes back up to meet his
he's looking at you, cautiously now, like he's deliberating saying something
"maybe... you could come to one of my shows some time?"
he's blushing pink now, a little sheepish with his proposition, but you don't miss the glint of hopefulness in his eyes
"i'd like that very much"
his eyes light up a little, darting to the side as a small smile begins to grow
"i would too"
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gia's notes :: there was supposed to be a luocha one as well in this but i hated it sm so i js scrapped it 🥏
-‘๑’- honkai star rail masterlist
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