#i miss her i need to play again but oof

[jacobseed]

DEAD BY DAYLIGHT; SURVIVOR. when destroying her life and everything around her was the only option, an unknown nightmare existence forces her to appreciate the life she has and keep herself in one piece - forces her to bond with those facing the same trials and find comfort in their shared misery.

taglist: @imogenkol @statichvm @marivenah @risingsh0t @strangefable

@ravensgard @firstaidspray @pitchmoss @pavus @florbelles

@carrionsflower @josephzeppeli @thedeadthree @leviiackrman @roberthouse69

@confidentandgood @carlosoliveiraa

[taglist opt in]

[5sospenguinqueen]

Terrible Two | Max Verstappen x Hamilton! Reader

Summary: Lewis hates the idea of Max dating his sister. Not because he's overprotective but because he’s trying to save the younger driver from the insanity of his sister. Or the one where Y/N terrorises the Grid OFF the track and Max terrorises them ON the track.

Warnings: Swearing. Fluff. Not 2021.

Female reader with various faceclaims. Pics found on Pinterest.

Requested by @shelbyteller

Main Masterlist

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YourUserName just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, georgerussell63 and others

YourUserName race day with my favourite hamilton (oh, and lewis was there too, i guess) 💚 tagged: roscoelovescoco, lewishamilton

9,457 comments

User 1 i live for the hamilton sibling shade

lewishamilton i miss how peaceful my life was before you were born

→ YourUserName i miss how peaceful my life was before i was born too

→ User2 oof, felt that

roscoelovescoco loves you aunty y/n

→ YourUserName and i love you my sweet boy. i’m already planning my next attempt to kidnap you

→ User3 i love that she wastes no time to pick on lewis but plays along with his roscoe account

→ YourUserName i don’t play when it comes to my fluffy man

User4 miss thing, you are not slick. we all see the red bull in the last slide

→ User5 omg and they were seen chatting outside the space between the two garages earlier

→ User6 she was also seen talking to charles, pierre, valtteri and george but i don’t see any of you linking them together?

→ User7 her and Charles tho

→ User6 ffs 🙄

mercedesamgf1 you and roscoe are also our favourite hamiltons

→ lewishamilton i just can’t catch a break

charles_leclerc thank you for letting me into the garage to see the baby 🐶

maxverstappen1 always nice having you around the paddock

liked by YourUserName

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YourUserName just posted

liked by alex_albon, lewishamilton and others

YourUserName another weekend, another flex 🏁. also, thank you to @ nike for literally being the reason i get to chase my brother around the world tagged: lewishamilton, georgerussell63

7,669 commnets

georgerussell63 will you stop eating my snacks

→ YourUserName no, you don’t need them. your trainer says you’re getting fat

→ georgerussell63 don’t tell lies!

lewishamilton shoes on the bed!!

→ YourUserName they never touched the bed! and they’ve never even touched the ground!

→ YourUserName get off my post!

→ YourUserName go lose some races!

→ lewishamilton just like you’ve lost my love!

→ YourUserName i never wanted it in the first place!

charles_leclerc perhaps you could wear red next?

→ landonorris nah mate. papaya all the way

→ maxverstappen1 i think she'd look better in blue

liked by YourUserName

mercedesamgf1 thank you for being the most entertaining member of the garage

→ georgerussell63 admin, how could you? i thought i was the best 🥺

User8 i'm living for y/n's sponsored post for work literally leads to her terrorising half the grid

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User9 no because the way this woman had him blushing and kicking his feet outside his own garage earlier, he’s smitten

→ User10 i was in the paddock and no joke, he giggled!

User11 um i highly doubt max is flirting with y/n to mess with lewis, if anything, lewis asked y/n to flirt with max to mess up his game

→ User12 i bet you’re feeling real foolish about this comment now (race day tweet)

→ User13 agreed with user12, if anything the flirting fuelled max because he won with an 8 second lead

User14 no because they would be far too hot for any of us to handle

YourUserName oh look at that, I’m trending again

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YourUserName just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and others

YourUserName thanks for having me @ redbullracing. it was a different perspective of the track, that’s for sure. well done on your 1-2 tagged: maxverstappen1

10,347 comments

mercedesamgf1 but you’re still a traitor 💔

lewishamilton i missed you

→ YourUserName @ lewishamilton you’re so needy

→ YourUserName but i missed you too

redbullracing our good luck charm

→ georgerussell63 back off. you can’t have her

→ mercedesamgf1 @ georgerussell63 you tell ‘em, boo

maxverstappen1 it was a delight to have you

→ User15 dude you need better rizz than that

charles_leclerc ferrari in the future?

→ lewishamilton no

→ georgerussell63 no

→ mercedesamgf1 no

→ maxverstappen1 no

(this comment has been deleted)

danielricciardo i tried getting you to visit me there for years but max comes along and asks ONCE

liked by maxverstappen1

→ User15 omg max invited her

→ User16 omg she was there for work

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YourUserName just posted

liked by lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and others

YourUserName he said he liked my curls so I let him take me for a drive

6,669 comments

yourfriend okay but the hair is looking fire

lewishamilton who’s car is that

lewishamilton where are you

lewishamilton who are you with

lewishamilton I know you’re on your phone. stop ignoring my comments

→ User1 lewis is killing me

→ User2 she’s really making him work up a sweat

yourfriend2 these pics are killing me. salivating

→ yourfriend3 agreed. bark bark woof woof

liked by YourUserName

liked by maxverstappen1

User3 okay but doesn’t that look a lot like max’s recent car?

→ lewishamilton show me the evidence

→ User3 omg no way you replied

→ User4 you literally can barely see the car but okay?

maxverstappen1 was he at least a good driver?

→ YourUserName i don’t know. he hit the curb and was a bit on the slow side

→ User5 you ain't slick, sis

landonorris omg you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone about us

→ YourUserName omg but you kept asking me for curl care routines. how could i resist?

alex_albon i mean the curls are nice but i don’t know how he can put up with your personality

→ YourUserName @ lilymhe dump him

→ lilymhe but he’s losing? so i feel like i have to wait until the season is over

→ alex_albon babe!

User6 do they need a third

User7 everybody stay FUCKIGN CALM!

User8 okay but the way he holds her when he kisses her 🥹

User9 can somebody check on lewis? i feel he may not be able to handle this

User10 anyone else think these photos are an absolute invasion of privacy? how disgusting

→ User11 oh agreed. we hate that this was done but we're also so happy that they're together

User12 the dream team. one can terrorise the grid OFF the track and one terrorises them ON the track

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YourUserName just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and others

YourUserName when bae is thirsty so am i 💦

11,342 comments

User13 is this a hard launch

→ User14 no, i think the paps did that for them

→ maxverstappen1 she had a 10 page document of plans for a soft launch as well

→ User15 um miss y/n, we'll still take those posts please

User16 does this mean we’re going to be getting y/n in the red bull garage from now to on and not Merc :(

→ georgerussell63 we were told we had to have shared custody

→ mercedesedamgf1 toto and christian had to sign a contract

lewishamilton i don’t like this. i'm happy for you but i do not need max verstappen thirst traps all over my feed

→ YourUserName well, i know you much prefer the real thing but you’re not allowed to drool over that anymore

→ lewishamilton how do i disown you?

→ YourUserName i've been asking myself that question for years

danielricciardo woohoo maxie. i wasn't familiar with you like that

charles_leclerc it's nice to see the two of you finally together so that max stops talking to me in the cool down room about your beauty

→ maxverstappen1 shut the fuck up.

→ YourUserName @ maxverstappen1 aww you think i’m pretty

→ maxverstappen1 of course I do

landonorris how could you do this to me. i thought we were forever

→ YourUserName we weren’t even for 2 minutes

→ danielricciardo she only likes champions, mate

redbullracing going to need these blown up and out in the garage

→ YourUserName already on it

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YourUserName just posted

liked by mercedesamgf1, nicorosberg and others

YourUserName just a couple of besties aka my brother wants to steal my boyfriend tagged: maxverstappen1, lewishamilton

7,555 comments

danielricciardo i think you mean MY boyfriend

→ YourUserName max told me your little fling meant nothing to him

→ danielricciardo @ maxverstappen1 you bitch!

→ maxverstappen1 i'm sorry but y/n means more to me than our night together

→ danielricciardo take it back

→ YourUserName your head game just wasn’t that strong

→ lewishamilton @ YourUserName i hate you for making me read that

georgerussell63 why don’t you take pics like this of me with lewis 🥺 i like him more than max does

→ YourUserName @ lewishamilton you’re upsetting all of your boyfriends tonight

→ lewishamilton i hate you

landonorris does this mean you’re free for me to hit you up

→ maxverstappen1 watch your back on the track

→ redbullracing @ maxverstappen1 christian said you’re not allowed to say that online anymore

→ maxverstappen1 for legal purposes, my previous comment was a joke

maxverstappen1 you’re the only Hamilton for me, schatje

→ YourUserName love you baby

→ maxverstappen1 love you too 💕

→ charles_leclerc @ maxverstappen1 i miss when you loved me

mercedesamgf1 please stop posting these. you’re making the rest of the grid jealous

mclaren please stop upsetting the grid by revealing their affairs. now they’re all crying

williamsracing @ YourUserName for the sake of the race, please stop stealing max from his boyfriends. they can’t drive through their tears

redbullracing we need more content like this, please. if the other drivers are too heartsick, there’s nothing standing in our way

→ redbullracing for legal reasons, this is a joke

[hazbinshusk]

husk x afab!reader. finally expanding on my idea of torturing husk with phone sex while he's stuck tending the bar. unable to join you as long as he has guests in the lobby, and unable to reciprocate for the same reason, husk is left hard as a rock but desperate to keep listening to you come undone. featuring: sex toys, masturbation, edging, overstimulation, dirty talk, soft!dom husk, cherri and angel being pains in the ass, and a frustrated bartender. 1.4k.

Husk growls beneath his breath as the newly-installed phone on the wall behind him trills at a tone that he swears is specifically designed to grind against his last nerve. Which, knowing Alastor, it might very well be. He mutters an irritated curse under his breath as he unhooks the receiver and brings it to his ear.

“What?”

A soft giggle comes as the reply, and he softens immediately, the tension easing from his shoulders. “Y’know, we really need to talk about your bedside manner, baby. That was a little too hostile for one of the residents.”

“Doll?” Husk’s voice shifts, relaxing into that velvety tone he reserves just for you.

“Last I checked,” you reply merrily. “Now about the way you answer the phone…”

He hums, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. “Al makes me answer the phone. He didn’t say I have to be happy ‘bout it. Hell, if anything, the bastard probably prefers it if I ain’t.”

“A good point.”

“And I don’t know if answerin’ the phone at the bar needs a ‘bedside manner’, pet.”

He can practically hear the teasing smirk in your voice. “But what if the hotel resident is in bed when they call?”

Husk pauses for a moment, raising a brow. He glances towards the sofas on the other side of the room, where Cherri is entertaining Angel and with an animated retelling of her latest drug-fueled exploits. They pay no attention to him, and he turns his back to them, leaning back against the bar and folding his free arm over his chest.

“And where are you, doll?”

“Three guesses.”

“Uh-huh,” he replies, amused. “And you’re makin’ a deal out of callin’ me from your bed, because…?”

You mimic a gameshow buzzer into his ear. “Oof. Sorry, honey. Wrong answer.”

“Huh?”

“Would you like to play again?”

“…You’re not in your bed, then?”

“Uh-uh.”

Husk can’t help the small smile still playing over his lips. He winds the cord around his claws idly. “Then you are…?”

Your answer is wonderfully simple.

“In yours.”

Husk’s ears flick upward in sudden attention at the implications that rush through his mind at those two words. He can hear you breathe a soft laugh at the cattish sound of interest he makes despite himself. He glances back over his shoulder at the others and clears his throat. “If you’re lookin’ for me to join ya, baby, I’m sorry, but I think I’m gonna be stuck down here a while.”

“I know,” you say, and he can hear that your sympathy tainted with amusement. “I miss you up here.”

He hums again, eyes closing. He finishes the last of the glass he’s been nursing, the whiskey a familiar burn at the back of his throat. “Don’t do that to me, baby…”

“I’m sorry.” There’s a soft rustling sound that tells Husk you’re setting the phone against the crook of your neck. “Can I make it up to you?”

“Yeah?” Husk smiles. “How d’ya plan on doin’ that, exactly?”

“I’ve got a few ideas.”

Husk stops reaching for a fresh bottle in the moment he hears your breath catch softly. His hand tightens on the phone. “Doll. This is a new level of cruel.”

“Is it?” you ask, voice pitched higher. The change is only slight, but it makes Husk's ears twitch upward in interest. “Want me to stop?”

Husk chuckles, low in the back of his throat. God, how he wishes the others would just fucking leave. “I want you to tell me exactly what you’re doin’ up there, all alone.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You let your head fall back against the pillows with a soft moan, a smile on your lips as you hear Husk growl under his breath in response. You giggle quietly, rolling your nipple between your fingers.

“I need your hand between your legs now, baby.” he tells you roughly, and the tone in his voice sends a thrill directly down your spine. It makes you shiver, and you gasp as you pinch your nipple roughly. You've been teasing yourself like this, letting your hands roam down over your stomach to graze the top of your thighs before returning to your breasts... and every time, mapping out the journey your fingers take for your audience. His voice drops further, no doubt mindful of the others in the lobby. "I need to hear you tell me how wet you are."

"Yes, sir," you reply, smiling wider as he curses under his breath at the title. You let your hand travel back down your stomach, breath catching as you dip your fingers down between your spread thighs. You slide two fingers along your slit, hips bucking up into your hand as you graze your clit. "Oh, fuck, Husk..."

"Mmmm, baby..." Husk sighs, and you can picture his eyes closing, his head tipping back. "You wet for me?"

"Mm-hm," you nod against the phone, still toying slowly with your clit. "God, Husk, this feels good..."

"Oh, you're killin' me here, sweetness," he groans. "What I wouldn't fuckin' give for..."

"I can hold out for you, baby," you tell him. "I can keep playing... all by myself... get myself all wet and trembling and... fucking desperate for you until you can finally come and..." you moan as you slide two fingers into yourself, cradling the phone against your shoulder so you can keep playing with your clit with your other hand. "...and fuck me so deep and..."

The sound Husk lets out is a mix of a cattish growl and a groan, and you push your hips up against your palm as you fuck yourself on your fingers.

"You're already so close, aren't you, doll?" Husk asks, and you can hear the knowing amusement playing against his arousal.

"Yes, sir."

"Fuck..." he breathes, and it brings to mind the memory of his warm breath against your throat, his claws on your hips, and his teeth grazing your collarbone. "Fuck, baby, I-"

Husk's tone shifts, and you hear the muffled sound of the phone being lowered. "The fuck do you want, Cherri?"

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"Woah, chill, kitty cat!" Cherri laughs, holding up her hands. "Just lookin' for a refill. You got something better to do?"

Husk swallows, shifting as his cock throbs almost painfully. He glowers at the cyclops, turning to face her. He stands almost flush against the bar to keep his erection from view. “You’re gonna wanna not call me that.”

Angel coos in faux-sympathy as he joins them at the bar, draping himself over Cherri’s back. “Ooh, I know that tone. What’s got ya down, Husky?”

“Y’mean aside from havin’ to put up with your drunk asses?”

Angel blows him a kiss, gives him a wink, and slides his empty glass across the bar towards the bartender. Husk, well-practised, has a bottle ready to pour just as it comes to a stop in front of him, eyes still fixed in an impatient glare on the two of them. “Y’know ya love us, baby.”

“What else ya got to do, anyway, bitch?” Cherri teases, swiping up her own refill. Husk bites back the urge to tell her to shove it, so, so aware of the weight of the phone in his hand. His whole body is burning with the knowledge that you’re on the other end of the line and he’s missing those pretty sounds you’re making for him.

“Yeah…” Angel draws out the word invitingly. “Ya could always come out and party with us, y’know. We can show ya the best places to get ya fur mussed.”

“I’ll pass.”

“Course ya will,” Cherri eye-rolls.

Angel’s eyes flicker down to the phone still pressed to Husk’s chest. “Ya got a better offer, pussy cat?”

Husk thanks fuck for his poker face. “Goodnight Angel.”

The porn star and his bestie cackle, and the former leans over the bar to smack a kiss the bartender’s cheek teasingly with an exaggerated, obnoxious ‘mwah!’. Husk swats him away irritably, and the two of them continue laughing on their way out the door.

There’s a beat before Husk jerks the phone back to his ear, and his flagging erection immediately swells again with the sounds on the other end of the phone. Finally, thankfully alone, Husk uses his free hand to unbutton his fly, pushing his hand into his pants.

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You let out a breathless, high-pitched sound with each pump of the toy into your soaking cunt. You’d rolled onto you knees, the phone still glued to your ear despite the silence he'd left you with and your thighs quivering as your hips jerk against the cum-slick silicone between your thighs.

You'd been so close when Husk had been taken away, and the minutes he'd left you see-sawing along the precipice of orgasm is making your mind fog and your jaw clench. Each roll of your hips sends sparks of need and pure pleasure up through your core, and while the muffled, growling voice of Husk coming through the phone was enough to make you shiver, it's edging you just as much as the toy is.

So, when you hear the phone move and Husk's sharp intake of breath, it takes everything in you, eyes screwed tight and sweat on your brow, not to cum right away.

"Oh, fuck, baby..." Husk groans as you whine in his ear, his own voice torn. "Holy fuck, you sound so pretty..."

"You left me," you whimper into the receiver, grinding down against the dildo. It fills you well, but the smooth line of it leaves you wanting. Conjuring the memory of the way the barbs of Husk's cock tease when he thrusts into you makes you clench around the toy, eyes rolling back behind their lids.

"I'm sorry, baby..." he murmurs, his voice rough and breathy in the way you know means he's touching himself too. "Have you been waitin' for me this whole time?"

"Mm-hmm..."

"Such a good girl for me."

"Fuck..." you moan, pressing your forehead into the sheets. Switching the phone to speaker, you let your hand slip down between your thighs, breath catching in a squeak as you touch your clit. "Fuck, Husk... please..."

"Gonna make it up to you, baby," he promises, voice ragged. You can picture him, hand pumping at his cock, head back and a furrow between his brows. The way his chest moves staccato as he tries to keep his breathing steady, the way he thrusts into his hand. "Gonna reward you for bein' so patient..."

"H-how?"

"You're gonna cum for me," he tells you, all whiskey and smoke and raw, honeyed desire. "You're gonna cum so hard for me that you soak those sheets. So hard that I might jus' be able to hear you moan my name all the way down here, even without the phone."

"F-fuck, Husk..."

"Jus' like that, baby. You're gonna cum for me like a good girl," he continues, his voice breaking as he gets closer to his own release. "And the minute you do I'm gonna come up those stairs, an' while you're still layin' there in your own mess, twitchin' with tears in your eyes... 'm gonna come up there and taste you."

Moaning aloud, you quicken your hand against your clit, grinding down against the dildo as best you can. You can taste blood in your mouth when you bite your lip, so overstimulated that even the feeling of the sheets rubbing against your nipples with every disjointed bounce of your body over the toy does bring tears to your eyes. You can feel them staining your cheeks, joining the drool that drips from the corner of your mouth to mark the sheet beneath you.

"Husk... sir, please..."

"I want to taste every drop of you, sweetness," Husk almost growls, breaking off with a breathless haah for a moment as he tries to keep himself under control. He won't cum until you do. "I want to bury my tongue in that gorgeous, tight little cunt of yours and feel you fucking quake..."

"HUSK, I'm..."

"Cum for me, baby," he urges, and you can just hear the sound of his hand quickening against his cock under the tenor of his voice. "You're such a good girl, baby, c'mon..."

Your body curls in on itself so tightly as you cum that it hurts, your back arching and your thighs clenching around your hands. You feel your cum squirt out around the toy, drenching the sheets and your inner thighs, pooling around your knees. You collapse onto your side, body twitching with each aftershock, breath sharp and cutting around his name as you try to come down from the high.

Husk groans your name back in your ear as he cums too, gutteral and visceral and deep and it's enough to make your cunt tighten around the dildo again, cum still leaking out of you. It almost hurts to leave it in, but any move you make makes your whole body twitch and you're still trying to focus on breathing.

Husk chuckles breathlessly, brokenly in your ear as he relaxes, exhaling a shuddering breath that makes you shiver.

"Two minutes, baby." he tells you, a soft growl playing under his words. "You've got two minutes before I do exactly what I promised."

[thesummerpetrichor]

𝓥𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓸 𝓰𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓼

Dads best friend!Javier Peña x afab!reader

Summary: For years he’d lived in your head like a distant memory. Something too good, too far away to attain. You shouldn’t be so hurt he’d left his old life behind, but how could you not be, when you had been such a big part of it? But you can’t hold a grudge. Not when he’s standing in front of you– doing everything to prove he’s not a stranger.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI you will be blocked. Mentions of DEA, dads best friend trope, morally questionable relationship, minor angst, chunky age gap [reader is in her 20s Javi is in his 40s], banter, lotsa sweet moments, explicit language, explicit sexual content, couch sex, inebriated sex, cigarette and weed smoking, alcohol, dom!javi, sub!reader, pet names [cariño, baby, babygirl etc.], dirty talk, major praise kink! [lotsa good girl action iykwim] some over the clothes action, grinding, fingering, unprotected P in V [ do better!!]. Let me know if I missed anything!! <;3

Word count: 12.8k oops

A/N: Oof this took longer than I thought it would but I’m so excited for you to read it. Javier is the man of my dreams here 🥺. lotsa porn for you nasties. morally questionable relationship fr but it’s fiction so we’ll forgive Javi. I hope you darlings enjoy! Mwah 💗

Masterlist

Swinging in the backyard

Pull up in your fast car

Whistling my name

Open up a beer

And you say, "Get over here

And play a video game"

The last time you saw him you remember all but tackling him to the ground as he walked through your front door. He had bought you a special edition copy of your favourite Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale, and DVDs of ‘film noir’ movies– the kind your dad didn’t like you watching. You spent the days reading as he smoked cigars by your pool, and you remember your father joking about his ‘bad influence’ as he poured you drinks in the evenings. 

That was several years ago, and now all you had left of him was a hazy memory of that distant summer, a fading image of his golden eyes glittering in the setting sun, and your copy of “The Little Mermaid”. That had been the last that he’d visited you– before his work got in the way, before he decided he’d rather stay in Bogotá than come home. 

Your life had gone on, and while every year you wondered whether he’d make his grand appearance, as you grew older you came to terms with the realisation that it would just be you and your old man lounging on the patio on those treasured, warm, golden evenings. At university you were pursuing those dreams you always wanted to, the ones your father wasn’t so keen on you chasing, the ones you’d confess to him when he would drive you around the city–  to that faraway ice cream place no one else would take you to. 

He was all cigarettes and whiskey and secret promises.

“He’ll literally kill us, it's midnight.” It was too late, he was grabbing his keys and jacket, and despite your better judgement the thought of the fairy lights by the beach as you walked with your mint chocolate chip cones had you giggling as you followed him out the door. It was your 18th birthday. “He doesn’t need to know now, does he, cariño?” 

He’d telephone your father once in a while, you knew because your house would fill with laughter only invoked by one culprit. You wondered what adventures he was on, were they like the ones he’d tell you as you sat by his side till the early hours of the morning? You wondered if he even remembered– remembered you. 

But now you were in Bogotá, in the sweltering June heat, suitcase in hand, scanning the crowd for a face you barely remembered. You were scared, stupidly so, worried that your physical proximity would do nothing to mend his distance. You worried he wouldn't see you as he did before, wouldn't remember your inside jokes, your mischief, how you’d beg him to take you to that dance bar because your dad didn’t like you going alone. That he had somehow morphed into someone you couldn't recognize. You felt hot all over once again, and this time no thanks to the summer sun. 

Your head turned left to right, and you spotted among the crowd families reuniting, couples kissing hello, young people returning home, lone travellers, lonely travellers, and in the hustle bustle a black leather jacket walking briskly towards you. He looked older, and tired, but his eyes still sparkled the way you remembered, still turned golden when they met the sun. From the distance he spotted you, and you watched expectantly as his furrowed brows relaxed into a calm, almost surprised expression. You felt a little short of breath, felt suddenly larger than life, as he neared you, your mind spinning and hoping, praying that he was still the man you knew. 

“What have you done with my cariño?” 

He was looking down at you with that same smile. Everything about him was really the same. He still smelt like tobacco and cedarwood perfume, still wore the same leather jacket, the same faded, button up shirt– with the first two buttons undone. In a moment you felt your mind's eye reconstruct those waning images of him you once cherished, from the dells of memory. And now you saw him vividly, reclining in his chair, sipping his whiskey, leaning on your porch, hair falling in his face in soft curls as he lit his cigarette. 

He was a lot more handsome than you recalled. 

“Hi” You were smiling so wide your face hurt, and despite the years of his absence there was a familiarity you found comfort in, a sense of belonging, and maybe naively… longing. His hands moved to grab you by the shoulders, and he stepped back to get a good look at you, almost examining how time had passed. “Lookat’ ya, university girl now huh, smart cookie?” The way he looked at you had your heart pitter pattering– with so much pride, and gentleness, and adoration. 

Without any hesitation he pulled you into his chest, wrapping you up in his arms, holding your head against him. Waves of calm washed over you, an immediate reassurance you were desperate for. It was his non reluctance, his lack of worry, the way he brought you into his arms like nothing else mattered.  With a heavy sigh you collapsed into him, all the uneasiness you felt before melting away as you melted into his touch. He felt warm, and strong, and like you’d remembered. 

He was everything you’d remembered. 

You felt yourself relax. It had been a long day, a long time getting away from your father, who, despite the fact that you had been living alone for years now, had called you about a thousand times – reminding you to take all your things, to be careful, and importantly to not get into any trouble. 

If there was one thing everyone knew about Javier, it was that he was trouble, trouble, trouble. 

He was still smiling when he gently pulled away, still looking at you with the same enthusiasm. He was happy to see you. He chuckled as he let go of your shoulders, and you felt your chest swarm with butterflies when he grabbed you by the hand and twirled you around, and in typical Javier fashion produced a white lily from his shirt pocket, and tucked it behind your ear. 

“Welcome to Bogotá cariño” 

You felt your cheeks heat. For as long as you could remember you pretty much idolised him, and the longer you didn’t see him the more distant and adored he had become.  You had worked that distant memory up so much, the memory of that fateful summer, that he’d come to be a symbol of fear and dread in your head. At least until that moment.

You felt silly for ever thinking he’d be different. And there he was, standing right in front of you, putting flowers behind your ear. You mumbled a soft thank you, securing the lily, which was inadvertently an excuse not to meet his overwhelming gaze. 

“Your old man give you a hard time on the way up?”  

You laughed as you rolled your eyes. If there was one person who knew how much of a stickler for organisation and responsibility your father was, it was him. “He gave me an entire list of things to not do”. Javier’s deep baritone joined your laughter, and he shook his head in faux irritation at the mention of his best friend. 

Reaching down for your bags he leaned beside your ear, and you felt your heart race when you turned your head ever so slightly to meet his gaze– at that glimmer in his eyes, his mischievous smile, and raised brow. 

“Well, he’s no fun now, is he?” 

And with that he was heading towards the exit. 

—

I'm in his favourite sundress

Watchin' me get undressed

Take that body downtown

I say, "You the bestest"

Lean in for a big kiss

Put his favourite perfume on

Go play your video game

“He says I'm like you, y’know?” You leaned your elbow on the open window, knees to your chest as you sat curled up in the passenger seat of his car. His eyes were on the road, but his attention remained on you, and you were instantaneously reminded of your trips to the pier, your mint chocolate chip ice creams, and innocent secrets. 

You felt warm and fuzzy inside, and your eyes wandered the beautiful Colombian city –the colours, and the smell of summer flowers, and food as it wafted out of the mom and pop restaurants you passed. 

“Yeah, you a troublemaker?” He glanced at you momentarily, just in time to catch you rolling your eyes. “”M not, but he thinks Dora’s wreckless for wandering around without her parents.`` His laugh was hearty and he had that smile, that tilt of his head you were sure had all the women around him swooning. You felt your cheeks heat at the thought, especially when he chided you. “Cariño” he dragged out every syllable of that treasured pet name, shaking his head, and raising his brows in your direction, teasingly. “Okay.. maybe I like to have a little fun, but I’m still not like you.” 

Letting out an exaggerated gasp his head whipped towards you. “Fuck’s that supposed to mean?!” Your head was buzzing, he's still the same, the same. 

“I’m good.” He rounded the corner, and you couldn’t help but wonder who else had been in the passenger side of his car, getting this view you so cherished. You didn’t know why you cared, or why you were even wondering in the first place. It wasn’t any of your business, but somewhere deep down it made your heart ache. 

“I know you are honey.. Thought your dad was gonna’ have a fuckin’ heart attack when he called me.” You could only imagine. The poor man. The thought of him persuading Javier to convince you to stay with him for the sake of his peace of mind making you giggle. 

“Can you blame him? It was either you or Maria, and somehow you're the better of the two evils.” When you decided to come to Bogotá you originally planned to stay with one of your  close friends from university. She had offered you a room in her apartment for as long as you needed. The both of you had applied for the same summer program, and were looking forward to spending your vacation together. That was before you confessed that a certain somebody also lived in Bogotá. A somebody you weren’t initially keen on meeting again. Somebody you had planned to avoid at any cost during your stay. 

You weren’t really sure why– if you wanted to keep him away out of spite, or convenience, or fear, but all you did know was that when Maria had practically forced you to ask your dad to give Javier a call you were nothing short of petrified. She would not let it go, even said you’d regret not meeting him, better yet staying with him after how much you’d talked him up in the time you knew her. She was so confident she placed a bet you’d give up her house for his in less than forty eight hours. 

“I’m a cop, I’m the obvious choice here cariño” His confidence was charming. He was deceptively charming. 

“Yeah. A terrible one.” 

“Was a little shocked you wanted to see me..” sometimes you really thought he could read your mind. Not just in that moment, in fact he had a habit of hitting on right whatever you were thinking about, whatever was bothering you, things you felt you couldn’t tell anyone else because they wouldn’t understand. You were not sure if and how you wanted to respond, and if you did honestly whether he would know how much the whole situation had preoccupied you. 

“Strictly practical. Wanted to see if you remembered me..” 

“‘Course I remember you, been haunting me like a little ghost since I last visited..”. you thought you might just explode at his teasing. You asked yourself if he was being truthful, if he truly thought about you, about how he’d up and left. 

“You’re the one that disappeared into thin air!” Undeniably, despite the laughter and banter there was a tension in the air– floating between the two of you heavy and low. But what was he expecting?  

Thankfully, the car came to a slow and gradual stop at the side of a small side street, where you spotted a small glass door over which flowers blooming from the floor above had been cascading. “Where are we?” 

“Mint chocolate chip”  One hand on the wheel, the other grabbing his keys, he looked at you as he spoke, so matter of factly it made your heart flutter. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “No pier, or fairy lights though, and no thrill of running from your papa.” 

He remembered. 

Heart bursting with love ache, you weren’t really sure what to say. As if he had anticipated your fears he seemed like he was coaxing you into your natural rhythm. Reminding you he wasn’t some stranger whose house you were staying in out of convenience. That you knew him, and that he knew you, remembered you. 

“Thank god for the last one..” The memory fluttered between you two– the same thoughts, hovering between your heads. He was opening the door, taking a quick check of the traffic. You stayed put, finding your bearings. With one hand extended he beckoned you towards him, offering his arm when you hopped out the car on wobbly feet.  “Oh hush, you loved it, cariño. And he knew, I told him the next day.”

With locked arms you crossed the street, and as if no time had passed you had squished yourself to his side, and had smacked him against the shoulder lightly at his admission. “What?! Traitor!” 

“I handled it.” He sounded quite impressed with himself, and when you tilted your head and locked eyes with him you noticed how he looked quite impressed as well. You pressed your cheek against his arm, the leather of his jacket brushing against your warm cheeks.

“You were always the fun one.”

A large ‘OPEN’ sign stared you blank in the face, that was until Javier had gently tucked a finger under your chin, and delicately directed your eyes towards him. “He’s your dad, ‘s not supposed to be the fun one..” he softly remarked, his smile remained, and you felt nothing but warmth, and comfort from his presence. 

The moment fell naturally, and he reached forward to pull the door open for you, letting skip ahead of him and into the store.  “Feels like my 18th all over again.” 

—

It's you, it's you, it's all for you

Everything I do

I tell you all the time

Heaven is a place on earth with you

Tell me all the things you wanna do

I heard that you like the bad girls

Honey, is that true?

“You're the boss Peña, give me the word, and it’s done.” You caught Javier’s reflection in the mirror as you sat down to get ready. Fresh out the shower it took about three seconds for the summer heat to get back at you. He liked to keep his place freezing, and at times like that you could only be grateful– the cool air soothing your scorched skin. 

Carillo, Murphy– you could recognize the voices as they bounced off the wall, the same men you’d met when they barged into his home unceremoniously at six in the morning. You would have preferred to meet them in actual clothes rather than your pyjamas, and maybe outside instead of infront of your concerningly large cup of coffee, but they seemed to be used to finding unexpected guests in Javier’s apartment early in the morning. 

Regardless of the fact that they’d interrupted your quiet breakfast with Javier, they were really nice people. Carillo’s wife even sent some snacks over with him the next time he visited. One because she wanted you to try the local food, and two because “Javier had nothing in his kitchen.” 

“I will. soon as that dick Stechner gets out of my fuckin’ way” reaching to put you necklace on you watched as Javier moved out of your field of vision for a quick moment, returning with a glass filled with ice and an ashtray. What were they talking about? You never really asked about his job, you'd tried to talk him out of it many times, but he never budged. One day he hated it, one day he didn’t. 

What he was like at work was a point of endless curiosity for you– he just seemed so different. If you were being honest he seemed like an asshole. In the few times you’d seen him interact with his partners he’d barely cracked a smile, trading in his joking and teasing for curt jabs or looks of disapproval. He also admittedly liked ordering people around, telling them what to do. His phone rang about five thousand times a day, and each answered call was punctuated with an air of control, indifference, and the steady and constant confidence of a man who knew what the hell he was doing. And did not like to be questioned about it. The only people who seemed to break the ice were the two he was speaking to at that moment. 

“Javi, think this one through, don’t be fuckin crazy.” The voices drowned out as you put your attention back to getting ready. Maria was right. By the time you called her the evening of your arrival you had abandoned all plans to escape Javier's home for hers. She was in hysterics, endlessly pulling your leg over the whole situation. Your overthinking, your panic, your regret, and most obviously your complete infatuation. 

She had picked you up the next morning, and had impersonated you the entire ride to the university. You hoped that you didn’t sound the way she said you did when you spoke of him, that you weren’t all heart eyes. It only made you worried about what you sounded like when you spoke to him. 

With your bag tucked under your arm you grabbed your shoes off the floor, heading towards the dining table. “You got work this evening?” you were hoping he didn’t. His eyes lifted off his work to watch you shuffle around the small kitchen.  Opening the fridge you grabbed a bottle of chilled water, and leaned against the closed door as you spoke. 

“Depends if they call me in, they’re tracking some radio signals so we’re sitting tight till then.” He was leaning back in his chair in absolute exhaustion. Knowing that his day started around seven thirty, and never seemed to end, you didn't blame him. The few days you had been staying at his place he’d join you for dinner and be right back to work in a second. This job of his pretty much consumed him, and judging by his commitment you understood why he had no time for anyone or anything else. The guy was practically married to his job. His job and his co-workers, that is. You wouldn’t be surprised if Murphy and Carillo’s wives were envious of how much quality time Javier got to spend with their husbands. 

“So you’re staying up until they get back to you?” You didn't mean to sound so perplexed, but you were. Mostly at how unpredictable his hours were. Did he really want to leave the quiet, laid back life at home for whatever this was? He crossed his arms over his chest, and spoke to you in between puffs of his cigarette. 

“Yes, cariño, I'm in my forties, dont got a bedtime.”  The man could barely keep his eyes open, and when he lifted his glass to his lips you felt a little better about ditching him for your fun night out. Of course you wanted to sit with him, have him talk about everything under the sun, like he used to, but you didn’t want to be another thing he had to worry about. 

You barely got to speak to him outside meal times. If he stayed home, safe to say he’d be preoccupied, and if he didn’t it would be just you, and the white noise in his empty apartment, like it had been for the past four nights you had been there. 

The man looked like he needed a cup of tea. You reached for the kettle, pushing it on and leaning against the closed fridge door. “They tell you that at the old people's home?” Grabbing your buzzing phone off the counter you moved towards his surprisingly organised kitchen drawers, in which there was little besides some tea bags, coffee beans, jam, canned fruits and bars of candy. That combined with the eggs, bread and milk in his fridge came to make an almost comical representation of what most people would consider a bachelor's desolate pantry. 

Your eyes shifted to the illuminated screen of your phone, an unread message staring back at you. 

Maria: Leaving in five &lt;3

As you took the bubbling kettle off the burner you made a mental note, reaching for a cup, and a tea bag from the unopened box of earl grey you were pretty certain Javier did not buy for himself, rather became the owner of thanks to one of the nice old ladies who lived opposite him. 

“Somones in a mood today huh?” It was then you realised he had abandoned his work to watch you trudge around his kitchen barefoot in your little party outfit, one hand rested on his chin, one leg crossed over the other as he leant back in his wooden dining table chair. 

The teabag bobbed in the steaming water a couple of times, before you were pulling it out and tossing it in the trash. You grabbed his blue mug by the handle– some generic, machine made ceramic devoid of any personality, something you’d probably find in a show home. It looked like it had always been sitting on his kitchen shelf, only seeing the light of day every once in a while when he ditched his liquor cabinet for the coffee machine on the far end of the counter. Knowing him that wasn’t often.

“I'm kidding .”

“Well cariño I was thinking we could go to the dance bar tomorrow, but now I guess I'll have to stay home and rest my old knees.” He looked so surprised when you placed the mug in front of him, rested on a white paper napkin. It was almost like he had expected you to make it for yourself. The chair made a slight squeak against the floor as you pulled it back and took a seat, pulling his glass, now lined with the slight golden residue of whiskey, towards you. He was still surprised, a little taken back even, but not in offence, rather a tender, grateful smile tugged at his lips. 

“Since when do you dance?” With your focus no longer split between tasks you turned back to the conversation at hand. Making sure to emphasise you remembered just how uncharacteristic Javier’s little suggestion was. 

He took a sip of the earl grey, leaning forward and letting his shoulders fall ever so slightly. The glimmer of a distant memory played in his eyes as he met your gaze.“I don’t. But you do.” Your little reminiscence played in the back of your head like a movie reel, the soft sound of music from the dance bar by your house hanging in the air. As if transported into a distant dream you could see clusters of people twirling and dancing with the beat, like little ghosts behind Javier as he spoke. 

“And who am I going to dance with” When you said those words out loud you meant for them to sound a whole lot more utilitarian than they ended up sounding. Whether it was hope, or some odd suggestion you were in no mood to unpack where from deep in your subconscious that had come. All you could wish for is that he didn’t notice. 

“Plenty of people at the bar who’d love to dance with my darling.” And there it was, that answer you dreaded, delivered with that signature smile, with that warm, twinkling light in his eyes. “You don't have work tomorrow?” unable to bear the thought you moved along to more practical matters. 

He was already halfway through that cup of tea, and like his body was in the middle of some sort of spiritual cleanse you could see him resurface somewhat coherent and with eyes that weren’t half as dead as they were two minutes ago.“‘S friday, need the time off. Besides, I'd kick myself if I didn't make good on your time here. These fuckers still gonna be around when youre gone.” Sometimes you wondered if he was talking more to himself than he was to you. 

You felt a little buzzing in your purse, and you rummaged through it to find your phone. A text from Maria reminding you you needed to leave. “Yeah, you're gonna sit at the bar like a senior citizen while I have some fun?” 

Rising from your seat you searched the room for the last of your things. Notwithstanding the lack of time he had put into making the place home there were still small elements of him scattered throughout that little two bedroom. The fresh flowers in a glass vase on his centre table, framed pictures and art he’d been collecting over the years, small artefacts he’d brought back from his travels. It was so odd, the whole place stood suspended somewhere between home and a place far from it. Familiar yet distant. 

“Hey, they’ve got great drinks.”

He finished the last of his tea, and you picked up his mug and set it in the kitchen sink, running it under the tap water for a quick second to rinse it. Truth be told, you just wanted to sit and chat, and if half heartedly doing the dishes was going to give you a few more minutes with him you’d take it.“Don’t get too excited old man, I'm not driving us home.”

“I can take a few cariño, ‘m not like you.” You travelled to where you’d dropped your heels. 

“Slander.” pausing momentarily in the middle of putting on your shoes you lifted your head to find him looking back at you. His eyes had seemingly followed you all the way behind him, and he was still smiling. Had you not had one hand on his couch holding you in place you just might have tumbled over.  

“You be careful tonight, and don’t walk anywhere alone, especially if it's past ten. I know you– can't even read a damn map, so no wandering around, call me.” It looked like he had already given up on you, one hand rushing to his face to rub his tired eyes, the other plastered to the table. He was shaking his head the way he did when he caught you sneaking out your house one summer. 

“I’ll think about it.” of course you were going to call him, you didn't need an excuse. But you liked to see him all agitated, bossing you around like you knew he liked to do. With everyone, that is.

“No no, you're gonna call me when you get there, and you're gonna call me when you leave, and you're gonna tell me exactly how, and with whom you're gettin back.” You were already at the door, hoping to escape him, but he was yelling your name in that exasperated voice, and you heard him shuffle from his seat to stand up– catch you and drag you back in case that was necessary. 

“But-” Turning to meet his peering form over the wall of his living room you parted your lips, attempting to protest, playfully, but still protest, but he wasn't having any excuses. 

He was doing that thing where he looked at you with his soft eyes, slightly downturned, and the look could convince you to do just about anything, made you feel like you’d rather die than let them down. Anybody else’s nagging would have got you on your last nerve, but you only felt warmth, concern and care when he did it. Hell he could throw you off his roof and you’d still think the same. 

“No buts, no excuses. Thats final” You giggled, half because he sounded so much like a boring old man, and half because he was now leaning against the wall, with the top buttons of his shirt undone, and his hands on his hips, hair dishevelled from when he’d combed his fingers through it. 

“You sound like him..” With brows raised you looked at him expectantly, taunting him with your teases, and you nearly jumped out the door when he walked towards you, ready to grab you back to him as you escaped. Any insult was better than being compared to your dad, especially in this context. “Don't you say that, cariño” He was laughing, and you were laughing, and his otherwise quiet apartment building was now singing with an uncharacteristic gleam, a glow, a gaiety. 

Your shoes clicked against the floors as you scurried away, turning one last time to see him leaning against his door frame, shaking his head as he watched you skip into the night. “I don't make the rules old man”. You heard him chuckle behind you as you ‘sing songed’ your words, your heart fluttering when you noticed he waited for you to get outside before he closed his front door. 

–

It's better than I ever even knew

They say that the world was built for two

Only worth living if somebody is loving you

And, baby, now you do

“Thought I told you not to wander around alone, cariño.” You jumped, but it was too late, he had wrapped you up in his arms, and you were pressed up against his chest, and his voice was a low whisper in your ear. And you were dizzy. The alcohol in your system only partly responsible for your petrified squeak, wavering voice, and the way you swayed gently in his embrace. But when he kissed the top of your head ever so gently you could only giggle, recognising that warm hold, that faint smell of whisky on his shirt. 

“Psycho, you scared the shit outta me.” He was laughing when you turned around, exhausted, defeated almost, but his eyes were gleaming in the moonlight, and you felt yourself all but swoon at the way he was looking down at you.  “You’re lucky I'm the only psycho you ran into” Grabbing your face in his hands each word he spoke was punctuated with hyperbole, and a teasing disbelief. Your own hands shot up to grab his, and your cold palms thawed at the touch. You were sure you felt your heartbeat in your throat when his thumbs brushed the swell of your cheeks, you were sure he could feel the way they grew hot under his rough hands. “Just came out for a smoke, don’t go into cardiac arrest now” your fallen cigarette crumpled under your foot when you stepped on it, and in the midst of your eye roll you watched as he stepped back to look at you in faux disapproval. 

“Look at ya’, terrible.” He motioned his head towards the trampled butt on the ground below you. “Me? Terrible?” When you closed the distance between the both of you you stepped on it again, hearing it crush under your shoes, and shoved his shoulder playfully, poking his chest with your pointer finger. “Drinking on the job again old man?” Then he laughed again, this time at your playful yet truthful accusation, and the sound made you feel lighter than a feather. How could one person be so charming, so charismatic, at one in the morning? Like he was divulging a trade secret he raised his brow. “Keeps me awake.”

The blaring music in the club was muffled in the distance as you walked towards the steps of the church in front of you, the quiet and empty street echoing your footsteps. He walked beside you, kept you close on that pleasant summer night. When you turned your head your eyes caught a group of men huddled by a small food stall at the side of the street, hunched over some beers, smoking cigarettes. In the crowd there were two familiar faces. Steve was dressed casually, Carillo and the others in military fatigues. You wondered why he wasn’t walking in their direction, but judging by the look on their faces you concluded there would probably be a better time to do so. Besides, you weren't complaining, he was enough, he always was. 

They shot you a half hearted wave, and two strained smiles from across the road. 

Taking a seat you pat the stone ground beside you, watching as he looked around, almost willing someone to come into sight, one foot on the steps leading up to the cathedral entrance, wringing his hands. “What’re you doing here anyway?” You wondered what he had done that evening, but you knew you were better off not asking. You were glad to have bumped into him, and the last thing you wanted to do in your giggly half tipsy mood was have him explain something you were sure would keep you up at night. Not when he had that look on his face, his work look. 

“Waitin’ on an informant, but someone fucked up and well, we’re back at square one.” he was still searching the street when he bent down to sit beside you, so close your knees bumped. 

You felt your heart race a little when he pulled out what looked like a joint he had rolled moments ago from his shirt pocket, when he leaned back on his arm, lit it and looked up at the sky as he took a drag. You wondered if in your little emotional panic, your worry of his disappearance you had blocked out the memory of his striking, handsome face. You wondered if he had always been this beautiful, this captivating, everything he did set you on fire, the way he carried himself. 

“Smoke a lotta weed for a DEA agent.” 

He turned his head towards you, letting it fall lazily in your direction, and his hair fell in his face the way it did all those years ago, and he shot you that smile that felt like home. “Been a long day cariño”. He was looking back to the sky, but your eyes didn't leave him. He looked so tragic in the moonlight, half lit by its platinum glow. You weren’t sure if it was the liquid courage, or the fact that his shoulder looked more inviting than ever, or the fact that a cool breeze just blew by, and you shivered as it brushed your shoulder, but you leaned your head against him, and you felt your tummy erupt with butterflies when he placed a lingering kiss to your forehead. It was forbearing, and merciful, and you wondered if he had somehow noticed your girlish fawning, your silly admiration, and your heart dropped momentarily, but was soon resuscitated by his soft laughter. 

“Remember those cigarettes of mine you'd steal back in the day.” The breeze had picked up, and it’s cool was far more jarring when it kissed your hot cheeks. “‘S’not stealing… you knew.” you closed your eyes, and let yourself get lost in that comfortable memory. “yeah , could've told your papa” He was looking down at you, but you kept your eyes ahead, too intimidated to meet his gaze. 

“Didn’t” 

“Should’ve” His voice was a mumble beside you, and you found yourself thinking about your dad for the first time in a while, and you were instantly reminded the man you were so taken up by was his best friend, and almost twice your age, and saw you as nothing more than his buddy’s daughter. You stiffened against him. 

He took another drag of his joint. “If he was here right now his blood pressure would be through the roof”. A cold breeze tickled your skin, and he rubbed your shoulder gently and despite the murmured chatter in your head you couldn’t help but melt into his touch. 

“Darling, I can't believe you've been out this long.” He was laughing, and his horrible impression had you in a similar state. Conflict bubbled in your chest, each word slipping past his lips reminded you of your relationship, of your dad, and what he would think if he could peek inside your head, at your little thoughts. You felt guilty, but how could you hold that feeling? Not when he was shaking with joy beside you, not when he had his arm around you the way he did, not when you were tucked into his side, shielded from the winds. 

“You smell like a dingy bar” It felt so natural, your regular routine, the way it had always been, when your dad would say something funny, or outrageous, and the both of you would have a field day. It was well incorporated in your repertoire at that point, but the years apart had the memory sitting on a shelf in your brain, collecting dust. You remember when your dad made a terrible joke the day of your senior prom, and the two of you refused to let it go the entire evening. Javier had a vocabulary of his favourite phrases, and so did you, and you couldn’t help but pull them out every once in a while. 

“How am I going to survive you?!” You spoke in tandem, each letter dragged out with faux frustration, an uncanny similarity to your dad’s tone ringing in the air as your blended voices formed a familiar melody. It hung between you as he laughed heartily, and you wanted nothing more than to frame the moment, keep it tucked away where it would be yours, only yours forever. The starry night, a twinkling sky above you, the chirp of the crickets,  and perhaps your most treasured person, holding you against him. 

You wondered why he left, why he left you behind. Did he feel the same as you did in that moment? Was he happy to be there? To have caught you on your night out? After he’d called off his wedding all those years ago he’d become a rarer sight. You were too young to remember, and it wasn’t long after your parents got married. Growing up in your little town you’d heard he always had a reputation with women, but you never believed a word of the neighbourhood chatter. 

They were not the same person– the guy everyone talked about, and your Javier. While you’d never give him a break from the teasing, bringing up all the times you’d run into women in the streets, asking if you’d seen him, you could never really imagine him as the man everyone made him out to be. He was reckless, sure, and impulsive, and insolent, and a hardass, but he was also gentle, and thoughtful, and gallant.

At least he was to you. 

As if he could hear your thoughts, and they were so loud in your head you wouldn’t be surprised if he could, he broke the silence. “I wanted to come back cariño, but-” 

“But you couldn’t, I know '' There was no point going over what had happened and why, and while you incessantly wondered you knew it was a fruitless exercise. It was just how he was, he liked to up and leave, disappear, keep his distance, and you wondered if that had anything to do with you. But you didn't want to kill the moment, more for yourself than for him. 

“Glad you decided to come, cariño” It was like he was trying to convince you, of what exactly you weren't sure, but he sounded so earnest, so true.. and you felt deep down he was trying to make amends for his absence. Not just from you, but from the life he left behind. Were you an exception? Or a way to right his wrongs? mend all that had been pushed aside? You didn't know, but you’d worry about that later.

The winds had picked up, and the sky was gleaming, and for the first time in a long time you felt at peace. 

“I like it here, it's nice.” When you spoke he was almost surprised, but your words seemed to only widen his grin. He squeezed your shoulder gently. 

“Me too baby, me too.” 

— 

Singin' in the old bars

Swingin' with the old stars

Livin' for the fame

Kissin' in the blue dark

Playin' pool and wild darts

Video games

He holds me in his big arms

Drunk and I am seeing stars

This is all I think of

“Looks like they knew you were coming.” You swivelled the bar stool in your direction, hopping up on the seat. It was early in the evening, around seven, but the music was already going, and there were people on the dance floor, moving to the beat of retro spanish tunes. Javier took a seat beside you, still in his suit from work, shirt haphazardly tucked into his dress pants, tie loose around his neck. 

“Why?” the bartender placed your drinks on the counter, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the fact that he’d stuck to his whiskey on the rocks. “They got the oldies on”. You were giggling, and while he wanted to pretend like he was far too tired to care about your antics he couldn’t help but crack a smile. There was a charm to it– catching a break at the end of the work week, the tranquillity of the weekend enveloping you like a safety net. One of you that is. 

Friday night was busy at any joint, buzzing with nightlife, food and drink. Somewhere along the way you’d gotten up from your seat and headed to the large empty space in the middle of the bar, where tables and chairs had been cleared to create a somewhat makeshift dance floor. Javier was right, while he sat sipping his whiskey you found plenty of dance partners. 

It was all easy, getting passed from one person to the other as the group formed a large circle. It was like you had disappeared into the crowd, bodies moving left to right in the dim green glow, only occasionally giving you a glimpse of the man sitting at the counter– face rested in his palm. Ask him to dance. These urges of yours were momentary, little private lapses of judgement that would only remind you of what was just not possible. 

When he’d take you out back in the day he’d have some minor injury to blame for his lack of participation on the dance floor, and when he didn’t he was “a terrible dancer” or “had too many drinks”. After a while you stopped asking. You realised you’d never really seen him dance. 

You had grabbed the hand of a stranger, letting them twirl you around– Javier was looking in your direction. For how much fun he liked to have you had come to recognize hardly any of it involved other people. Weddings, birthdays, barbeques. He was there. However, you’d always felt he looked at it as an obligation. A hi to the bride and groom, a bouquet of flowers, some meaningless small talk and he would disappear out the door. When he stayed it was solely in the company of a few familiar suspects– your dad being one. While he was often the subject of conversation, he was a pretty reluctant conversationalist. 

It was hot, and muggy, and if someone asked you where you were in the room you surely couldn’t place yourself. Forcing yourself out of the chatter in your head you looked up, noticing finally that your partner hadn’t changed in the past 10 minutes. 

He was looking down at you quite sweetly, he was actually quite handsome, your age, but he didn’t have a white button up on, didn’t have that sideways smirk. He wasn’t Javier. And unfairly, for that reason alone you didn’t want him. But who were you to say no to pretty green eyes, soft, delicate looking light brown hair, a black button up that wasn’t very buttoned up. Neither of you had the confidence to speak up, so you let him sway you side to side, one hand firmly planted on his chest.

You wondered what he really thought of you, if after this little visit he’d be more compelled to come visit, at least spare you a call. Would he disappear once again? Call your dad once in a while and ask him to deliver some impersonal message like ‘say hi to her for me’? You wished you could care less, but you knew you couldn’t, and something inside you told you he knew too. 

A firm arm wrapped around your waist, spinning you in the opposite direction, faces turned to motion blur as you turned on your heel. “Looks like a saved you, cariño.” He was twirling you, holding your hand in his and pulling you into his chest. He hadn’t really saved you but at the same time he had. He could pick you up from a field of lilies and drop you in a medieval torture chamber and he’d still be your knight in shining armour.  

What the fuck are you doing here? You wanted to ask, but you held back. You wondered what had prompted him on the dance floor. Did he think some weirdo wouldn’t let go of you? Had seeing you dance with someone else accomplished a task years of your coaxing couldn’t? You turned back, but the stranger had already disappeared, and Javier was directing your gaze towards him. 

As you had always suspected he was a great dancer, and he sure as hell liked holding you close as you moved along the dance floor. The songs ran over the decades, and he’d often sing lines to you– smiling and pulling you towards him. He looked so handsome, lights reflecting off his face, his smile tired, but earnest, and wide. You almost couldn’t keep up. 

“Danced your energy away?” Picking up the pace once again you twirled around him, unwilling to give in. “No! Why? your back needa rest?” You watched him laugh– shake his head and grab you by the hips. “Sure you didn't cariño.. Can't keep up with an old man?” Voice raw from yelling over the music, you pulled his leg. “Think I heard your knee pop.” His raised brow only aroused suspicion. “Oh really?” Before you could even respond his arm had hooked under your thighs, and his hand was on your back and you were being lifted into the air. “Oh my god!” Your own arms flung around his neck, both your laughs floating between you as he spun around. 

It felt different and not because something in his head had dragged him out onto the dance floor. The way he was looking at you, the way he just couldn’t let go. It hurt your heart more than anything you’d ever experienced. The pain was conflicting– the love ache and the hurt. Did he know how much he meant to you? Did he even care? Something in your heart told you he did but you chalked it up to innocent hope. 

The music slowed down, and you heard emerging from the stereo a familiar tune. 

You’d hum it all the time, so much so it would drive your father nuts. In the kitchen, while doing chores, sometimes as you read by Javier’s side. On the weekend when you woke up early to help cook breakfast it’d be the first song on the playlist. You recall how he’d watch you dance around the kitchen, truth be told rather ungracefully in the mornings– spatula in one hand, kitchen towel in the other.They played it at some wedding once, and your friends had bounded to the dance floor with you just to ensure you didn’t miss a note. You were running so fast you all but collided with him, and he had to catch your falling form as you stumbled towards your best friend, shouting a quick “sorry” as you bounded in her direction.  

He remembered. 

Words were useless when you looked at him the way you did. An expression of surprise, confusion, realisation, all at once, a smile tugging your lips, your doe eyes gazing into his soft brown ones. And his arms were around you, and you were pressed against his warm chest, and you were gently swaying to the beat of the music. 

“Looks like they knew you were coming.” 

It felt like a blip in time, but it would’ve been hours. People came and left, all around you groups of twos and threes and tens, but you stayed, and he stayed. Smiling down at you, holding you tight. You were a little light headed from it all, feet fighting the urge to take a little break. You just couldn’t let go. 

Plopping down on the bar stool you let your cheek hit the cool marble of the counter. Your legs felt like wet noodles, trembling when you finally sat down. You weren't really sure where Javier went, but it felt like an eternity he let you lay there with your eyes closed. Every second was one hundred times longer when he wasn’t holding you. His arm was firm around your waist when he finally helped you out of your seat. You realised he’d been standing only about two metres away the entire time. 

“Let’s get you home, ‘s late.” He had picked your shoes up from where you’d abandoned them, his own blazer draped over his arm– the one you weren’t hanging on to. With closed eyes you let him lead you out into the night, all your weight firmly supported by his broad shoulders, your stumbling feet only stabilised when he tucked you into his side. 

Unintelligible to anyone but him, and muffled by your yawn and cheek pressed against his upper arm you slurred your words as you spoke. “Past your bedtime?” 

He chuckled to himself, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head, his voice a faint murmur– the last thing you really remember hearing.  “Yes cariño, past my bedtime…” 

—

It's you, it's you, it's all for you

Everything I do

I tell you all the time

Heaven is a place on earth with you

Tell me all the things you wanna do

I heard that you like the bad girls

Honey, is that true?

“You been drinkin’ my whiskey….” He was leaning on the table, waving the glass you left out in the air, holding it between two of his fingers. He wasn’t upset, rather looked quite amused. You rubbed your eyes, making out his smile from a distance.  “Couldn't sleep.” Peering into the room you were staying in you were sure he saw your blankets bunched up on the bed where you had been tossing and turning for hours. Your eyes caught the clock on the wall. 

1am. 

It had been a long day. Being assigned to a new supervisor proved to be a real curse. He was quite a piece of work. Patronising, condescending, everything in between. If that wasn’t enough he rejected your proposal, and asked you to submit a new one in two days. God knows you had a lot on your mind. 

The kitchen cabinet swished when he opened it, bringing you back to the present. “God, you really are like me huh?” He still had his jacket on, but judging by the look on his face he needed a drink first. The couch dipped as you threw yourself on it, and you turned over its back rest to watch him move around the kitchen. 

“I had like one shots worth, with like a whole glass of water, so not like you.” Curled up under his plush throw blanket you sank into the cushions, eyes following him as he sat down beside you. With a deep sigh he leaned back, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index. “Fuckin’ hell” 

“Long day?” He picked up the joint he’d just rolled from the side table, groping for the handle of the drawer to grab a lighter. “Can say that..” It was just another night for him. You were lucky you heard him pull up outside, and had got yourself to look somewhat presentable so you could see him at least once that day. Granted that involved nothing but putting on a bralette. 

Maybe it was the fact that it was late, or that you had such a shitty day, or that you just couldn’t help yourself anymore, but you leaned against his chest, snuggling into his side as he took a drag. “I would try and talk you out of this job, but I think I've exhausted all my arguments..” You twiddled your fingers, just wanting to melt into him and disappear. 

“I don’t think there’s anything else I could do.” You shivered, his fingers tracing shapes on your upper arm. “Couldn’t do whatever it is you’ve been doing…” redirecting your gaze from your lap you looked up at him. “Sometimes it feels like I can’t either” He was looking ahead, voice low and rumbly, and just what you needed to hear. 

“You’ve got time, got one’ve my lifetimes ahead’ve you” He pulled you closer, head resting against yours. “Don't say that” You poked his side lightly, hearing him chuckle beside your ear. “Oh yeah, now those jokes gettin’ to you?!” 

Stewing in a comfortable silence you let yourself ease into his embrace, willing your mind to shut up for the time being and enjoy his company. The way he was holding you– so much more delicately than he ever had before had your heart clenching. “Tell me your day was better than mine.”

His words cut through the chilled air, and your heart soared at the thought that it even mattered to him. “No, sucked.” to anyone else you would have responded with a simple ‘it was good’, some white lie to avoid further questions, but you couldn’t lie to him, he’d figure it out one way or another. “My supervisor’s an asshole..”

Nothing was more comforting than the kiss he placed to the side of your head.“‘m sorry honey” He offered you his joint– seemingly having deserted his agenda of being a good influence in favour of apparently celebrating your mutual disappointment. You felt your cheeks heat. 

“I've never smoked before.” 

Gasping comically he whipped his head towards you. He tapped your nose with his index, pinching your cheek and giving you possibly the most suspicious look he could muster. At least he tried, because his smile peaked through the interrogative exterior. “You little liar.” The gesture had you jumping to defend yourself. Shifting to meet his drooping eyes you almost knocked him over as you plopped on the couch, letting him wrap his free arm around your waist to steady you. “No, promise!” You leaned your forehead against his, your eyes gazing into his in an attempt to convince him. Despite his disbelief you were indeed telling the truth. 

“Oh really? Been drinkin’ too, trouble.” his hand snaked up the nape of your neck, cupping your jaw. It was then you realised just how close you were to him. Your eyes flickered to his lips momentarily. When you realised he had beat you to the task you were convinced you were hallucinating, or had somehow gotten high off the second hand smoke. In pain, you were in utter pain, unveiled and unprotected– subjected to his piercing gaze. 

Painfully aware of the tension that had settled like a thick cloud over you, your voice came out small and strained, but also hopeful. “‘M not trouble….could be though” 

The tightness in his jaw was something you couldn’t ignore. “Yeah, I know” In a moment of bad judgement, or in hindsight good judgement you decided you knew what you needed to do. You were exhausted of having to wonder. You were exhausted of asking questions, exhausted of his absence. You slung your leg over his thighs, lifting yourself onto his lap Leaning against his firm chest you peered up at him through your lashes. 

“Baby, careful”  You knew this time those words were not for you, you knew he was fighting the urge to gather you in his arms. You could see that look in his dark eyes– hungry, and hot. You could feel him, hard against your cotton panties. He bent down to press his forehead against yours, your noses bumping. “Cariño, you don't know what you're doing.”  His actions were in direct contradiction to his words, his large hands cradling your soft cheek, pleading you to put him out of his misery. But you were selfish, like he had been all those years ago, and you needed him to put you out of yours. 

“You don’t want this, Cariño” He swiped his thumb over your bottom lip. He was doing that thing again, where he was talking more to himself than to you. But couldn’t let him decide what you wanted, because for years you’d let him convince himself you’d wanted to keep your distance to maintain his own conscience– to make him feel better about how he’d disappeared from your life. 

“I know what I want..”  You didn’t mean to, but you were pouting, and despite your best efforts to speak with conviction you couldn’t help but come off a little pleading, “show me, please.” surely he knew you weren’t just talking about the weed. 

His lips ghosted over yours, and you could just about burst into tears the way he was looking at you. He probably noticed the way your chin wobbled, the way your doe eyes blinked away from his. Because in a moment you heard him sigh heavily, painfully, and apologetically all at once. 

And he was kissing you. Soft and slow, and gentle, and benevolent and like everything you’d ever hoped for. He tasted how you’d always imagined– like whiskey and cigarettes and everything in between. Like home. His thumb stroked your cheek gently until you pulled away, glossy eyed and wobbly on his lap. 

“Want me to show you what?” And here you thought his eyes couldn’t get any darker. He mumbled into your lips, voice commanding and steady– everything you weren't. He grabbed the back of your neck and guided you back towards him. Threading your fingers through his hair you let yourself get lost in the shelter of his hold. You felt as though he could pretty much eat you alive, the way his lips were moving against yours– suddenly hot and soft and needy. 

Heart racing you chased his lips with your own, but he steadied you with his hands, amused at your zeal. “Gotten all worked up now have we?” You couldn’t help it, you tried, tried to sit steady in his lap, but you just couldn’t, not when you felt his cock, twitch against your clothed pussy. 

You rolled your hips against his, watched as his head fell back against the couch. The crease between his brows only persuaded you to continue. “Shit baby, tryna kill me?” barely audible, his rasp had you bracing yourself with your hands planted firmly on his chest. You dragged your hips again, leaning down and tugging the fabric of his shirt. He reached for the joint he’d abandoned on the side table, bringing it to your lips. 

He observed you greedily. “That's it, good girl.” His voice had never sounded more strained than it did in that moment, watching you take a drag, eyes glossing over. The praise had your heart fluttering, you’d do just about anything to hear it again. Smoking wasn’t helping either of your causes, because it only made you press your pussy harder against his clothed crotch. This time his hips rose slightly to meet you, and he cursed lowly under his breath. Already unable to maintain control. 

Taking another drag he leaned back, letting you rub yourself against him, eyes screwing shut every once in a while, just like your own. He’d bring the joint to your waiting mouth every now and then, revelling in the sight of you getting more and more desperate with each puff. 

“dirty little girl..” you whimpered at his words. “rubbin’ that drippy lil pussy all over my lap.” You looked down, only to find a dark spot on his grey jeans, for where you pressed yourself against him. Incapable of stopping your movements you continued, relishing how the friction eased the throbbing between your legs. “Yeah? few drags got you all achy cariño, got you squirmin’?” 

He was watching you, and you could make out his intense gaze through your fluttering lashes, his eyes scanning you up and down, then fixing on your face of strained pleasure. “Tell me how good it feels, Cariño” His palms smoothed up and down your thighs, harsh and slow, and exercising all the self control he could muster. It was difficult to answer, a response bubbling in your throat before you were incoherently blurting it out. 

"Feels so good..” whining, you grabbed the fabric of his shirt in your fists, bouncing on his lap lightly to feel just anything against you, you wanted more, lust and intoxication clouding your judgement. “Please, need it, need it so bad” Losing all sense of restraint one of his hands reached for your hips, squeezing and gripping firmly. 

He dragged your already rolling hips against him, sliding you against his clothed crotch to the point you couldn’t help but let your legs fall limp, your forehead press against his shoulder. “Need what?” You could feel the tick in his jaw where it was pressed up against your cheek. 

His hand slipped between your bodies, moving your soaked panties aside to feel your wetness. You shuddered when you felt him against you, grinding down on his hand. “Fuck, look at that. So fuckin’ wet for me babygirl.” 

“Need you inside me, please.” Nosing his neck you pressed a kiss there, mouth falling agape as he rubbed your clit, fingers teasing your entrance, just barely pushing into you.  “Like this?” If your laboured breaths were any indication you couldn’t take it much longer. 

You wiggled your hips, trying to bear down on his digits, but he pulled away only to squeeze the inside of your thigh. ““Gettin’ to you already? use your words baby” he was taunting you, your little ‘no’s making him smirk against your shoulder as he went back to sliding his fingers along the cut of your pussy. “What do ya’ want me to do to you? Tell me babygirl.” You knew the sweet talk was only meant to encourage you, and while it worked you couldn’t help the way your cheeks burned when you replied. 

“Want your cock inside me. Want you to fuck me.. please … need it” 

Now that he listened to, fingers pulling away and tapping at your lips. When you gazed down at them you could see how wet you really were– having drenched them in the little while he’d had his hand in your panties. Obeying you parted them, letting him slide them into your waiting mouth, sucking gently, the taste of yourself heady on your tongue. “Good girl.” Even though he looked quite composed on the outside you still noticed the way he swallowed thickly when your tongue ran along his digits. 

“Want me to fuck the cute lil pussy?” you shook your head vehemently, and he chuckled at your enthusiasm. “That's my pretty baby.” he kissed you like he wanted to devour you, frantic, and urged, voice so rough it came out almost like a growl. His hands roughly grabbed your hips, flipping you to lay back against his couch. In a moment your sleep top and bralette had been discarded, in a pile on the floor alongside your shorts and his own clothes. 

Slotting himself between your legs you looked down to where his fingers were tracing the inside of your thigh. You gazed up at him, upper body lit by the dim orange light of the side table, broad shoulders slumped as he admired the sight of you– on your back, in nothing but your panties, all for him. As he slowly pulled them down your legs, he sure seemed to relish the way the fabric of your cotton panties clung messily to your wet pussy.  

“Poor thing, just need someone to take care of you don’t you?” It was less of a question and more of a declaration, and undoubtedly it made you feel open and weak. How could you not feel that way? There you were laid out in front of him, every part of you exposed, his toned torso being the only part of him you could really see thanks to the half lit room. It felt like if he looked just a little closer he’d be able to see right through your naked body– and into your scrambled thoughts. 

His index teased your dripping hole, briefly dipping into you and coming back to rub soft circles on your clit. Gasping, your fingers flew to grip his wrist when you felt him slide his cock against your cunt, tip teasing your sensitive nub ever so slightly. “Relax babygirl, be good for me.” Bringing your hand to his lips he peppered your knuckles with kisses, willing you to ease into the cushions as he draped himself over your body. He grasped your face in his palm, kissing his reassurance against your forehead as you felt him line himself up with your leaking entrance. 

You mewled at the stretch of him, at how hot you felt against him as he eased himself into your soft pussy. “Shit- so fucking tight-” his stopped for a second, like he was willing himself not to split you open with one quick snap of his hips. “can barely fit my cock in this lil pussy.” Leaning in your lips searched for his. He let you melt into him, fingers brushing against your side as if to calm you down. 

It was so much– his weight on top of you, his hips slotted between your thighs, forehead pressed against yours. You could feel every pulse, every throb, every ridge of him inside you, nudging those spots you could never reach yourself– and he wasn’t even moving yet. 

When he did start moving you couldn’t help the whimper that slipped past your lips. Your fingers digging into the flesh of his biceps, pulling him closer. You needed him, pressed up against your rising chest, holding you. “I know cariño, I know.” His right hand squeezed your waist, “Feels so good doesn’t it? Yeah feelin’ all full?” 

His voice was so sweet, like honey, warm and sultry in your ear. You nodded a quiet ‘yes’. He cradled your face in his palm, nose nudging yours gently. Mumbling his own rhetorical “yeah?” he kissed the underside of your jaw. For the first time he felt as close as he physically was, big and thick inside you. 

You were drowning in his arms, enveloped by them, cocooned in a bubble of heat, and low breathy sighs, and his lips ghosting over yours as he thrust into you– hard, but slow, and deep.  “That’s it, just like that–” he picked up his pace ever so slightly. “Such a good girl.” His words were gruff, and stuttery and his breath tickled your ear whenever he spoke. 

Feeling the drag of his thick cock against your pulsing walls your eyes struggled to focus on him above you. He on the other hand seemed to have no trouble fixing his gaze on your trembling form. “Makin’ me feel so–” he brought his thumb to brush the swell of your cheek, “fucking good, baby”. Your head buzzed at his praise, burning face turning to rest in his palm. 

With your back lifting off the soft cushion you reached to pull him impossibly closer, wiggling your hips to meet his thrusts. “More, please, please.. Want it” you couldn’t recognise your voice, not when you were begging him, watching his eyes twinkle. “Yeah? Need me to fuck this pretty pussy harder?” you nodded– feeling embarrassed enough at his smirk of surprise to hide your face in his neck, but not enough to stop begging. Another soft “please” barely falling from your mouth.  

Rising slightly he grabbed your hips, holding your thigh against his side. Your tilted hips granted him a whole new angle, and before you knew it you were throwing your head back, letting it fall against the upholstery. “You want that, don't you baby? Need me to stuff you full of my cum?” You could only respond with your sounds of pleasure. 

He pushed you against the cushions, hovering above you to drive himself deeper, watching you turn into a moaning incoherent mess– your whimpers and whines bouncing off the walls and only exhilarating his pleasure. “That's right cariño, I gotcha’” one hand squeezed the flesh of your hip, then travelled up to brush against the exposed column of your throat– fingers tracing your skin before he was leaning down and placing sloppy kisses against you. 

“gonna fuck this pretty pussy till she’s dripping with my cum.”

He must have noticed that dumb, hazy look in your eyes when propped himself back up, still fucking you till your hips pressed into the sofa’s cushions. “Fuck, nothin in that head of yours huh?” You made out his smirk of pride as you jostled around, trying your best to keep your eyes on him as he moved above you. 

It was far easier said than done. Not when you could feel his cock against your throbbing walls, could hear his scruff groans whenever he felt you clench around him, not when he was looking down at you with his furrowed brows, and sweat gemming his hair– which’s curls had been ruffled out of place from when you’d ran your fingers through them. 

Especially not when he shifted ever so slightly, and you felt his tip brush that sensitive spot inside you you didn't even know you had. Javier cursed above you, feeling you squeeze his cock. “that the spot huh babygirl?” he watched the way your eyes fluttered shut, face scrunching in pleasure as he hit it over and over and over again. 

Your head lulled from side to side, your body in overdrive and completely overwhelmed at the sensations. That was until he was cupping your cheek in his palm, tilting your face in his direction. “Use your words for me.”. But you couldn’t, parted lips struggling to form anything coherent besides soft, little whines. 

His hips snapped in a deep, slow thrust. “Say it..” Your eyes were barely open, and you reached and tried to grab him closer, but he stayed above you, unwilling to budge as he slowed to a complete stop– waiting for you to voice your needs. “Yes-”

He mumbled against your lips, nipping, and kissing. “Good girl, my good girl.” To that you nodded, back arching as he drove you closer and closer to the edge.  Every part of you singing at his touch– how he kneaded and squeezed your hot flesh. 

The coil in your belly only tightened and tightened, and you suddenly felt too vulnerable, too exposed to meet his hooded eyes. Turning your face to the side you let the plush throw blanket hide your hot cheeks, burying your face in it. “Look at me, wanna see your pretty face.” It was an instruction. One he expected you to follow like all the others. 

You didn’t think he’d notice that hitch in your breath, the way you did the opposite and smashed your face against the soft fabric. It was all too much, and he was fucking into your soaking pussy, and his hands were roaming your body, and you could feel his skin brush yours, and you were dizzy, and overwhelmed and you could scream and–

And he was slowing down again, just enough to where he kept you on that edge, to where you could savour every bit of him inside you. – “Cariño, look at me..” God he sounded so tender, coaxing you out of your daze just enough to the point you shook your head ‘no’, whimpering and turning only further away from him. 

He kissed your cheek, cooing at your overwhelm. Not to mock you, rather he sounded quite endeared, prideful even. “Baby” Nudging his nose with yours you felt his thumb rub soothing circles against the apex of your cheekbone, urging you in his direction ever so slightly. Your eyes fluttered open, just barely, only to find him smiling down at you. 

“There’s my girl.” 

“Need you to look at me when ‘m fuckin’ you.” He held your face in place as his hips met yours, slow and languid. No part of you was left untouched, his kisses adorning every inch of your exposed skin, lips coming to press against yours every now and then. It was like he could see through your nakedness, and the thought terrified you to no end, made you feel small and defenceless, and had your sensitive cunt squeezing his cock.  

“You close honey?” When you nodded your nose bumped his, and he laughed before he was kissing you gently. He brushed the sweat from your brow, voice so mellow yet in control. “Cum for me baby-” You felt him deep inside you. So so so close. ”Wanna feel you cum all over my cock” 

It rolled over you, slow and intense and deep, in waves. He held you close, cooing at your trembling frame, holding you against him. “'M here cariño, I gotcha, just like that.” Groaning, he watched your eyes struggle to remain open, rolling back into your head as he fucked your throbbing cunt. “That's my pretty girl.” 

His own hips stuttered, thrusts becoming sloppy as he neared his release. Still experiencing the aftershocks of your orgasm you felt him fucking into your warm, pulsing pussy. You felt his cock twitch inside you before he was filling you up with his cum, a strained curse slipping past his lips. 

Ears ringing you registered him catching his breath above you, but it was all too hazy for you to make out. All you really knew is that he hadn’t let go of you, hadn’t abandoned you on the couch to smoke a cigarette or pour himself a drink, instead he was peppering your face with little kisses. “ ‘m so proud’a you cariño– did so well for me.” 

Pulling out he slid his hand under your back, flipping you over so you were snuggled into his chest. The cold air from the open window could barely touch your skin before Javier was throwing the blanket over you– keeping you warm, close. 

You were still in your daze, but even as you lay on top of him, drifting in and out of a deep slumber you couldn’t shake the worry that when you opened your eyes he would be gone. 

That he would have traded you in for the comfort of his bed, or worse would have disappeared into obscurity once again. The thought only stung more as you felt his cum leak out of you, mixing with your own to drip down your thighs obscenely. 

You never really knew if he regretted it, if he wanted you for sure, if he liked having the weight of your body against him. Flinging your arms around his neck you tugged him impossibly closer, burying your face in his neck. A silent plea to stay where he was. You didn’t care if you seemed needy, or clingy or pathetic. 

It was like he knew somehow, like your thoughts floated to him after you’d thought them. And as always there was no explaining to do, no questions to answer, nothing to say. His embrace was safe, and secure, and unwavering. “close those eyes for me cariño mìo” He planted a soft kiss to your nose, his arms tightening around you, palms rubbing soothing circles on your back. “‘m right here babygirl, not goin’ anywhere….”

You did. And he didn’t. 

It's better than I ever even knew

They say that the world was built for two

Only worth living if somebody is loving you

And, baby, now you do

Now you do

Now you do

Now you do

Now, now you do

Now you do

Now you do

I would also like to add that we are engaging with this concept solely in the realm and interest of fiction. This type of situation is a huge red flag. While the reader is seemingly consenting and enthusiastic there is a huge power imbalance between her and Javier. He has also known her her whole life and has been a significant part of her childhood. Engaging sexually or romantically in a relationship like that is creepy gr*omer behaviour. I used their past as a narrative device because this isn’t real, but please be aware of your media consumption, and that dynamics between characters in fic are vastly different from what is healthy, and ethical in real life. 🫶🐝💗

I really hoped you lovelies enjoyed it!! Please let me know what you think, I'd love to hear it! Thank you to everyone who reblogs my work, you keep me writing. Dividers and banners by @ saradika 💗🐝✨

[peachhcs]

I feel like Will could be a little shit sometimes, like we know he’s down badddd for Samy but I feel like sometimes when they haven’t seen each other for a while he’s determined to keep her close.

She’s trying to get up for the day? Lays his entire body on top of her, she’s trying to get dressed? Her clothes keep going missing, like he’s taking a sock and making her feel crazy because she knows she JUST sat them down.

He’s doing Anything he can to keep her at his side.

will is definitely doing everything he can to keep samy from leaving his side. he follows her around like a puppy honestly. samy likes to say he has separation anxiety sometimes

au masterlist

it was already 11 when samy finally woke up. she hadn't slept in that much in forever. she stretched out, but she didn't move that far because a strong pair of arm were wrapped securely around her torso. beside her was will still fast asleep, his face basically hidden in the crook of her neck. the girl smiled, reaching her hand up to tease some of his curls in her fingers.

she loved when he was always so close after not seeing one another in awhile. if he could, will would spend every second of the day by her side.

samy laid there for a few minutes just admiring her boyfriend's soft, sleepy features and playing with his hair. he didn't sleep with a shirt on last night, so she also got to admire his muscles peaking out of the covers. he was always fit, but his time with the sharks the last few months really worked in his favor. samy loved it.

she loved how he looked no matter what, but she really loved seeing his muscular arms in his t-shirts and built quads through his pants. it was literally every girl's dream.

after another few minutes, samy really needed to pee. she always had to when she woke up, but will's hold on her was pretty strong. she tried detaching his arms from her without waking him up. the blonde stirred and only pulled her closer to his body despite not waking up.

samy huffed. she poked will's cheek, "will, i really gotta pee."

he mumbled something incoherent.

"please, i have to pee so badly," the girl tried again and finally, will loosened his grip. samy took that as her chance and literally jumped out of bed to run to the bathroom.

when she came out will was still sprawled across the bed. the girl grinned and crawled back over to him where he finally poked his eye open.

"you left me," he grumbled.

"i had to pee. i'm sorry," samy laughed at his pout. he reached his arms out and made grabby hands as an indication that he wanted samy back in the bed. she got herself back in and will was quick to wrap his arms around her like before.

"did you sleep well?" the blonde wondered.

"i did. did you?" samy played with his curls again.

"i always sleep well with you," he hummed making her blush.

"what do you wanna do today?" the soccer player wondered and laughed when all will did was snuggle in closer.

"lay here with you all day."

"i wouldn't complain, but i feel like we should do something. it is like 11:15," samy said.

"so?" will didn't see what the problem was. he didn't have hockey for two days, so that meant he could use one of the days to do absolutely nothing. it was even better because samy was in town.

"we should at least eat something. i'm kind of hungry," just as the youngest hughes said that, her stomach rumbled.

"i know what you can eat," the hockey player earned a smack on the head for that comment.

"will."

"i'm kidding. i'm kidding," he lifted his head back up so samy could see the smirk on his lips.

"you're so immature," she rolled her eyes.

the brunette began pushing herself back up because she seriouly needed to eat something, but when she made a move to get up, will threw his entire body across her leaving her unable to get up or even move.

samy let out an oof, "hey!"

"you can't leave," will determined.

"i'm not leaving you this time. you can come with me to get food," the girl laughed.

“i don’t wanna leave the bed,” the hockey player mumbled. his weight was a bit crushing, but samy was used to it after being crushed and tackled by her older brothers growing up. she curled her arms around his back where she began drawing her fingers up and down his spine.

“you don’t wanna eat something?” the girl wondered and she was surprised to hear that will wasn’t already up looking for food.

“i’d rather lay in bed with you all day then go downstairs,” will said and samy couldn’t help but laugh. he was so adorable.

“okay, five more minutes but after that we need to eat something because i’m starving,” she compromised.

they laid there together with will’s crushing weight and he marveled in being so close to her. his favorite part of spending time with his girlfriend was being able to be so close to her and wake up to her at his side.

the five minutes passed way too quickly. the blonde reluctantly rolled off of samy so she could finally get up. he huffed and pushed himself off the bed as the girl found an actual shirt and pajama pants to put on. will threw on a random shirt on the floor and then snatched one of samy’s socks on the ground before she could find it. he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pressing little kisses to the side of her head.

“i wonder sometimes how you survive without me,” the brunette mumbled seeing the state of will’s very messy room.

“i don’t,” he said.

“remind me that we’re cleaning your room before i leave again,” the girl giggled and became confused when she couldn’t find her other sock she swore she threw onto the ground by the bed last night.

will watched in amusement knowing he had the sock. “where’s my sock?”

“what do you mean?” he played dumb.

“i swear i had both socks by the bed,” she bent down to check under the bed where she unfortunately found more miscellaneous things underneath.

“maybe they got mixed in with something?” the blonde hummed. samy stood back up and eyed her boyfriend. he had a really bad poker face when it came to her so she always saw right through him.

“will, did you take my other sock?”

“no.”

they stared at each other for a second before the youngest hughes lunged for his pockets. will yelped when she stuffed her hands in both front pockets and successfully found her missing sock. will pouted.

“that wasn’t fair,” he argued.

“you’re so weird. come on,” she tugged his hand and they started down the steps to the kitchen.

[bravo4iscool]

i started watching vikings like two weeks ago and this came to my mind😭

(ubbe ragnarsson x fem!reader; lothbrok/ragnarsson family & fem!reader)

(we’re just gonna act like they’re all a happy family and no one hates each other and everyone is a decent human being lol)

(this is also anything but canon, everyone’s alive, no one’s dead and this has like no place in the timeline lmao. this is just my delusions taking over😭. this probably will have multiple parts too (if people want that lol))

(masterlist | join my tag list!)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

you’re standing at the docks, erik on your hip and little ingrid by your side as you watch the ships slowly run into the habour of kattegat.

your daughter is all giddy beside you, just waiting for her father to finally arrive. “where is he mama? where is he?” she keeps asking, jumping up and down in excitement.

“i don’t know, baby,” you chuckle while the first ships arrive at the docks, the men leaving them in a hurry to get off. “i’m sure he’ll arrive soon,” you promise, ruffling your daughter hair.

meanwhile ubbe can’t walk towards you fast enough. there’s a big smile on his face as he keeps his eyes focused on you and the kids. he needs to take you into his arms again, he couldn’t wait.

he calls out your name when you don’t seem to notice him just yet and your head snaps up at his voice. your eyes light up when you finally see him almost running towards you.

once he reaches you he picks you—and erik—up in his arms, spinning you around. “my love,” he mumbles. “i’ve missed you.”

he sets you down again, immediately connecting his lips with your while his arms hold you close to his body. you sigh into the kiss, more than happy that your husband had finally returned.

when erik begins to squeak you both break the embrace. “look at you,” ubbe coos. “all grown up, my boy.” he takes erik from your arms and holds him up before he peppers his chubby face with kisses. “have you been good to your mama?” he asks, grinning when the baby begins to giggle.

“papa, papa!” ingrid starts to jump up and down again, grabbing her fathers clothes. “will you give me a kiss too?” she asks, her voice sweet and innocent as she blinks up at ubbe.

he looks at her and crushes down, “of course, my darling,” he smiles before he places his other arm around her and starts to plant small kisses all of her face.

the little girl starts to giggle, clearly happy that she’d gained her fathers attention. you only look at the three of them, thanking the gods that ubbe had returned home safe and healthy.

“papa?” ingrid then asks. “can i go greet uncle bjorn?” she’s giddy on her feet, looking at ubbe with those big eyes. “pleaseeeeee?”

ubbe looks at you and you give him a subtle nod. “you can,” he ruffles her hair. “but be careful, the docks can be dangerous.” his voice contains a clear warning but he doesn’t know if ingrid heard him because she’s already running off.

she’s quick on her feet as she dodges the people on the docks, searching for bjorn’s ship. once it came to her vision she let out a happy squeal.

bjorn stands on the docks, only seconds off the ship before ingrid launches herself into his arms. “oof,” he just manages to catch her, laughing when he clutches to him.

“i missed you uncle bjorn,” ingrid mumbles against bjorn’s chest, pressing her face against his armour. he tightens his arms around her, just enjoying the hug.

“i’ve missed you too,” he then mumbles. “my favourite niece, eh.” a smile breaks out on his face while he ruffles ingrid’s hair.

she giggles, “i’m your only niece.”

“that you are,” he smiles. “but you’re still my favourite.” ingrid starts to play with bjorn’s beard while he gently rocks her around in his arms. he wasn’t married, he had no kids, so he enjoyed the attention ingrid gave him.

“you’re standing in the way, brother,” a annoyed voice then sounds from behind bjorn and he turns around to see ivar standing behind him.

bjorn sighs and shifts ingrid in his arms. “there’s enough space to walk around me, ivar. don’t be such a baby.”

ingrid tilts her head and looks at the youngest ragnarsson. “hello uncle ivar.” she gives him a toothy smile, waving.

ivar only scowls and stumbles past bjorn and his niece. “do not call me that,” he hisses, not paying them both another glance. as he limps away the smile on ingrid’s face fades and she looks at bjorn with question marks in her eyes.

“why doesn’t he like me? or my mama?” she wants to know, turning in bjorn’s arms to look after ivar.

bjorn sighs again and grabs the back of her head gently to place a kiss on her hair. “you should not think about that, little one,” he softly mutters before he starts to move and walk towards his brother and sister-in-law.

-

you laugh as ingrid climbs all over bjorn’s shoulders, using his tall and broad frame as some kind of tree while your sitting back against ubbe’s side, erik in your arms. “be careful ingrid, you might fall,” you still warm her though, your eyes trained on her.

bjorn only chuckles and raises his hand to tickle her. “don’t worry about that. i’ll make sure nothing happens.” he winks at you.

“don’t flirt with my wife,” ubbe grumbles at that, still a small smile on his face.

hvitserk laughs and slightly shoves ubbe’s arm at his comment. “at that point, she’s our wife, my dear brother.”

ubbe shoots him a dead panned look before he rolls his eyes. “she’s more like a mother to you than anything else,” he huffs out a small laugh.

you slightly smirk at your husbands comment, patting his hand. “i like it that way,” you smile, standing up when erik starts to fuss around in your arms.

“you keep an eye on ingrid,” you point your finger at bjorn as you start to rock erik and make your way towards the door of the great hall. maybe fresh air would calm him down a bit.

you softly hum to your son, as you walk away from the hall a bit, just until you reach the first fields. “shhhh,” you coo at him, caressing his cheek with your finger.

but no matter what you did, he didn’t seem to calm down.

“maybe you should throw him away,” a familiar voice then sounds and you turn around to see ivar standing a few meters away from you. he’s propped up on his crouch, a permanent scowl on his face.

you let out a small huff and shake your head. “he’s a baby, ivar. he can’t express his feeling yet. sometimes crying is just easier for him,” you explain in a soft voice, continuing to rock erik.

“that’s why i don’t like babies,” he grumbles.

“you were a baby once.”

“i know.” his facial features were still tense as he stared at you, then at erik. “but i’m not a baby anymore.”

you didn’t know why ivar had—most likely—followed you out here. you knew he wasn’t particularly fond of you or your children. you couldn’t recall anything that would make him hate you but in the end of the day, that was how he was.

but even though he didn’t want you in his family, near his brothers, you loved him. he was your husbands brother. by marrying ubbe his brothers became your brothers and you loved them.

you look at ivar and slowly take a step towards him. “ivar,” your voice is soft and gentle as you speak, only erik’s little whines being audible. “why is there so much hatred in your heart?”

he freezes at your question, his eyes boring into yours. “i don’t have a heart,” he then hisses, taking a small step into your direction. “and i don’t need you to act like you care about me.”

“but i do.”

“no, you don’t,” he says, his jaw clenched and his body tense. “you’re lying. no one cares about me, except for my mother.”

you subtly shake your head and walk towards him until you’re standing in front of him. he had his head turned, staring at something behind you. “look at me ivar,” you softly demand, erik suddenly quiet in your arms.

ivar doesn’t listen to you. deep down you knew he wouldn’t but it was worth a try. so, you carefully raise your free hand, leaving enough time for him to pull back, and cup his cheek. “i said, look at me, ivar,” you say again, your voice gentle and calm, soothing even.

“why should i?”

you slowly start to caress his cheek bone with your thumb. “because i want you too see that my concern for you is genuine,” you answer, surprised that he hasn’t pulled back yet. he didn’t like being touched.

slowly ivar lifts his head to look at you, the conflict clear in his eyes. he was acting against all his instincts, against everything he knew.

a small smile plays around your lips as he looks at you. “you’re my brother, ivar,” you start. “and i love you. i care for you. whatever people might’ve done, might’ve said, you’re my family and i keep my family close to me.”

he’s silent while he listens to you, letting your words sink in. barely anyone has talked to him like that before. he wasn’t used to being at the receiving end of such feeling. he didn’t deserve that.

he swallows, “after all i’ve done—”

“i don’t care what you’ve done ivar or what you thought.” you gently pat his cheek before you pull your hand back to shift erik in your arms. “my love is unconditional. and if you never need someone to talk to or someone to listen, even a shoulder to cry on, my door is open. always.”

you get interrupted when you see ubbe walking towards you. he calls out your name, the concern evident in his voice.

“i think that’s my sign to get back inside,” you softly smile before you place your hand on ivar’s neck to pull him down and place a gentle kiss on his forehead. “think about my words, ivar.”

that’s the last sentence you say before you walk past him to assure your husband that you were alright.

pt.2, maybe a little series???

[luveline]

eddie and roan <333 reader is on her period and Roan wants to help, sweet girl is a real-life heating pad

.thank you for your request! dad!eddie x stepmom!reader

"Taste?" Eddie asks, lifting the wooden spoon up to Roan's mouth. "Blow, blow. Super hot."

She's heavy on his hip but isn't yet a weight he can't carry. Eddie thinks he'll probably still be picking her up at eight, at ten. Hell, he'll throw her over his shoulder when she's a teenager if he needs to. But for now she's six, and she's light enough to carry, especially if he props her on the lip of the countertop. 

Roan blows on the pasta sauce, cherry tomatoes and ricotta. Steam billows away from the spoon and kisses his cheek. She licks the spoon tentatively. 

Eddie laughs as her eyes widen and she puts the spoon in her mouth happily. "Yummy?" he asks. 

She nods around the spoon. 

Eddie looks down at his watch for the tenth time in as many minutes. He's not anxious in the day to day beyond the usual family related worries, but your absence is really playing on him. You should've been home twenty five minutes ago, which is super late for you. 

Eddie dips the spoon in the sauce before Roan can burn herself in her own attempt, blows on it, and passes it to her before putting her down gently into a kitchen chair. She's focused on her pasta sauce and doesn't notice. 

Eddie takes the boiling pot of pasta off of the heat, strains it, and pours it into the sauce. Then he transfers that pot into a baking tray, covers it in ricotta, breadcrumbs, tiny diced tomatoes and fresh herbs and puts it in the oven to bake on a low heat and brown the top layer. He washes the dishes he'd made, including the wooden spoon, which Roan goes on tiptoes to deposit at his hip, and is just about finished when the front door opens. 

"Finally!" Roan says. 

"You took the words out of my mouth, babe," Eddie says, dumping the dampened hand towel over the dish rack. 

You shuck off your shoes and sigh. Your back is hunched a little and you're squinting, clear signs of discomfort. A blue plastic bag hangs from two curled fingers. Still, you say, "Hi, my loves." 

Roan jogs up to you and wraps her arms around your knees. Eddie knows exactly how she's feeling, the ache of missing your mom and the relief of seeing her again. 

You don't frown at Roan, exactly, but you don't look happy. Fingers brushing down her hair to push stray strands from her face, you lean down to dot a quick kiss to her forehead. "I can't pick you up, sorry. My tummy hurts." 

Eddie doesn't waste time waiting for you to come to him. You roll your eyes as he approaches, murmuring complaints when he gets his arms around you, Roan included. She oofs at being squished between thighs but she's a really smart girl, moving to your side before Eddie can encourage her away from your stomach. He rubs your back, checking you're all in one piece 

"What's wrong?" he asks, pressing his cheek to your temple for a quick second. "Time of month?" 

"Time of month," you confirm, wielding your blue bag at him. He had a suspicion.

He peeks inside at the assortment of Midol, heat packs, and sanitary towels. "Sorry, babe. Bummer." 

"Super bummer," you say. 

You mention wanting to shower and Eddie ushers you away with the promise of a dryer warmed towel and a bowl of pasta when you get out. Roan trails around after him curiously, knowing vaguely what time of month entails. She can't sit in your lap unless you ask her too, and she can't start a karaoke party without permission. Besides that, not a lot changes for her. She insists on being the one to get your pyjamas out and ready, and when you emerge from the shower she makes herself scarce with a promise —you will be in the company of her very best Teddy, just as soon as she decides which one that is. 

Eddie tries not to stare as you change, but it doesn't matter, you don't mind nor wither under his watching. You wince as you pull your pants up over your stomach and roll them down so the band cinches lower. He winces when you sniffle. 

"Is it really bad?" he asks. 

"No," you say miserably, shirtless and aching. He has a funny feeling that you're lying. 

You don't cry and Eddie thanks whoever for that, but you struggle to raise your arms when a shooting pain nibbles at your spine, so he decides it can wait, and wraps you up in another hug, careful not to touch your abdomen. 

"Midol not working?" he asks.

"Not really." 

"Want a double dose?" 

"Don't joke, I'll say yes." 

He eases his hand down your front and presses it gently to your soft tummy. Not even pressing, simply holding it there. Eddie doesn't know if he could handle it, but he wishes he could take the pain from you. It's brutal, and it's much too often. 

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he says, meaning it emphatically. 

"It's okay," you say. Quieter, "Will you help me with my shirt?" 

Eddie stations you at the end of the bed. He brushes your tacky face dry with his hands and picks up your shirt, bunching it together in his hands to pop it over your head. You slip your hands through the arm holes and Eddie pulls it down, smoothing down the slope of your waist to your hips. "Tada," he says. 

You give him a kiss for his efforts. 

Roan rushes in with a teddy in her hands. She has two favourites, both missing an ear, and when she was a baby baby she'd call them all 'Teddy' without differential treatment, but she's brought Mr. Cool in, named for his dark eyes that look like sunglasses. 

"I've found him," she says urgently, running to the bottom of your bed and climbing up, little nose tipped up as she meets your eyes, "don't worry, mommy. Mr. Cool has super powers." 

You accept Mr. Cool with a hand held over your stomach. He didn't notice when you first came in but you're definitely bloating now. He knows that can make it more painful. The last thing you need is more pain. 

"Let me bring dinner upstairs, yeah? We can eat it in bed, you can keep your shoulders back," he suggests. 

You nod quickly. You'd probably say yes to an exorcism right around now. Dinner in bed doesn't scratch the surface. 

Eddie nips downstairs to gather the trays and drinks and has to bring it up in two trips. When he finishes his final trip, you and Roan are sharing from your plate, the tray on your thighs with your back to a mound of pillows, her smaller stature nestled into your side cautiously. 

A cherry tomato falls off of the knife you'd been using as a fork and onto your clean t-shirt. You groan. Roan laughs and picks up the tomato, eating it without another word. 

"Weirdo," you say fondly. 

"Dad says five second rule," Roan says through her food.

"What if I wanted to eat that one?" you ask, amused. 

Roan swallows her tomato. "Huh." 

"I brought your heat packs up," Eddie says, slotting his tray haphazardly onto the dresser so he can peel open the box. 

You lift your shirt and indulge him, letting him place it against your pouch with a ridiculous amount of tenderness if he does say so himself. Roan pouts a little bit, and her pout soon turns to puppy eyes, and before he knows it she's lifting her t-shirt for him to pat a heating pad onto her stomach. 

"They're for grown ups, Ro, and they get really warm. Please tell me if it's too hot," Eddie says, folding her shirt back down. 

Roan squirms. "It feels weird." 

Your smile tells a different story. "It feels nice. Thanks, handsome." 

Eddie squeezes your shoulder in a shake. You're more than welcome. 

[kaymarie-bell]

Going feral over the Ithaca Saga rn

spoilers below (it's me yapping about the things I've noticed in each song)

The Challenge:

The 🎻Penelope🎻leitmotif to tells us who's about to (FINALLY) sing

I'm gonna be honest, I had heard all the snippets of this song because I wanted to hear Penelope SO BAD but I love having the actual song out

I knew this was going to be one of my top 3 from the beginning

I love the drums, especially when the suitors begin to sing

Penelope sounds so serious while issuing the challenge, it's very different from the snippets. (great choice! it's a dire situation)

"I'd rather die than grow old without The Best of you" knowing damn well The Best is Odysseus 😭💖

Anna held that final note for so long holy shit

Hold Them Down

I liked the repetition of the challenge by the suitors. Terrifying.

Ayron Alexander is a great singer, I had to listen twice because I got distracted by his voice so I missed what he was saying until the "hold her down". 😔

The lyrics are brutal. Jay did an amazing job 👏

Oof that sound at the end was disturbing. 100/10

Odysseus

THIS is the Ody Crashes Out song

OH! The beginning has the same structure as The Horse and the Infant / Monster

"I. Have Had. Enough." Cue Ody's leitmotif

The chanting of "Odysseus" to show HE'S the threat right now

Wait this is just Polyphemus/Survive but we're rooting for the cyclops

HE'S AIMING FOR THE TORCHES (we are the same you and I~)

YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW MY OWN PALACE? I BUILT IT 🏹

"Let's have Open Arms instead-" / 🏹 "No."

"Legendary" melody to announce Telemachus 😭

Is that Athena's quick thought leitmotif? I need Jay's visuals 😫

MICO did such a great job omg

the soundscaping is really good as always. I can picture the scene very well

"Mercy? MERCY?" 🏹

Jay with the crazy voice acting again 👏

The final "Odysseus" chant is the same one as the end of No Longer You 🫵

I Can't Help but Wonder

I might be wrong, but I think the beginning goes from Just a Man to the Legendary leitmotif 😭

Acoustic guitar because this is an emotional song

Ngl I cried a lot with this one

MY SON, I'M FINALLY HOME 🗣

🗣TELEMACHUS~🗣

I can't tell if the piano in the background is playing a previous melody. I need the musician YouTubers to drop their analyses asap 😩

Quick thought. MY QUEEN IS BACK.

"Show yourself, I know you're watching me"

Athena sounds so much more...human? She really changed!

Athena basically:...should we try Open Arms now? / Ody:...too late for me I fear

"Father? She's waiting for you"

Would You Fall in Love with Me Again

The deep breath before the 🎻Penelope🎻😭

I love how the strings build up/speed up! it translates Ody's anxiousness/anticipation so well. And all goes quiet when the door opens

Anna sounds so beautiful 💖

The lyrics are wrecking me so bad. Thinking about "So much has changed, but I'm the same, yes I'm the same!" previously 😭

"What kind of things did you do?" /

"Left a trail of red on every island" *Ruthlessness melody*

"As I traded friends like objects I could use" *Thunder Bringer melody*

"Hurt more lives than I can count on my hands" *Scylla melody*

"But all of that was to bring me back to you. So tell me, would you fall in love with me again if you knew all I've done? The things I can't undo"

Penelope's last test with their bed.

Odysseus: "I am not the man you knew"

Penelope: "IF that's true...could you do me a favor?"

Odysseus being so hurt about the suggestion of cutting down their wedding bed 😭

Odysseus: "the only way to move it, is to CUT IT FROM ITS ROOTS!"

Penelope: "only my husband knew that, so I guess that MAKES HIM YOU!"

She didn't ask him because she doubted it was her husband, she asked him because HE was doubting HIMSELF OH MY GOD-

I would fall in love with you, over and over again, I don't care how where or when,

No matter how long it's been YOU'RE MINE

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE NOT THE SAME PERSON! YOU'RE ALWAYS MY HUSBAND and I've been Waiting, Waiting!

WAITING!....for you (with the word "for" sung in the same melody the crew used to sing "Oh, whoah-oh-oh Odysseus." Wait is this her saying she accepts him monster and all? 😭)

*Just a Man orchestra ver.* I had a feeling Jay would do this, and yet I was NOT emotionally prepared for it at all

This song is basically: Odysseus hurt because he thinks Penelope confirmed his fear (she cannot love him anymore) by telling him to cut down the tree 🤝 Penelope upset with Odysseus because how dare he doubt her love (they love each other so much)

Penelope: "How long has it been?"

Odysseus: "Twenty years"

Both: "I Love You"

I'm so sick. Jorge can write a damn good love song for sure.

I'm sad about this being over but I'm also so very happy about finally having all these songs. This has been a great journey, and I can't wait to see what he does moving forward ❤️

[thescarletnargacuga]

OOOH CARNIVAL FICS?

Boy, I have a thing for you!

I've recently fallen in love with the song "Kiss me (Kill me)," and it gave me an idea.

You know when sm-baby mentioned how Pomni may be the final boss? Well... Pomni loses control after Caine beating Kinger's level, it results in a battle between Caine... And Pomni...

Towards the very end her sentience returns for a brief moment to aid him.

But... Results in her tragic end.

Leaving Caine heartbroken.

- Fowl Anon

A/N: how devastating...

GAME OVER

A TRAGIC CARNIVAL AU SHOWTIME ONESHOT

Carnival AU credit: @sm-baby

WARNING: HEAVY angst, hurt/some comfort, digital violence, main character death, non-sentient Pomni

~~~

The King fell from his throne with a heavy thud. It was over. It was finally over. Caine stood shakily next to the dethroned King boss. Pomni was hiding in the curtains that separated the room from the main hallway. A heavy silence filled the room as they processed what they had just done.

Caine was still trying to catch his breath when he looked around for Pomni, seeing her peak from her hiding spot.

"...you did it." She said in quiet astonishment as she stepped out into the open. A wide smile slowly grew. "You did it!" She cheered as she ran to Caine, arms open.

Caine barely registered in time she was going to hug him before impact. "Oof! Ha...yeah...I guess I did." He side eyes Kinger as he embraces Pomni. Something still felt off. He couldn't figure what was bothering him in the back of his mind, but it felt like a memory trying to make its way through the blackout.

Pomni's smile faltered. A faint green glow circled her irises before being blinked away. She couldn't move.

"What..? Oh, come on! Not again!" Sentient Pomni groaned inside her own head.

Pomni whispered to Caine. "Well done, player. Your final reward awaits you in the Circus." She gave him a seductive smirk as she pulled him towards the curtains by the hand.

"Uuugh...you know, I don't need you to keep flirting with him. We're already sorta...uh, actually, I don't know what we are-"

Caine blushed. Being completely distracted by the look in her face, he misses her calling him Player. "Of- of course, Pomni, but I feel I should tell you that I don't really care about the award. Whatever it is. I'm just happy your friends are free of the madness."

"Trust me, you'll enjoy this." Pomni stepped back into the darkness beyond the curtains. A look of mischievous glee on her face.

Sentient Pomni didn't know what the program was talking about. There was nothing past Kinger. HE was the final boss. The game credits should be rolling or something. Where were the ending cutscenes? Why did everything still feel the same?

Caine's mind raced, trying to figure out what she was talking about. He stopped himself before it went places that would defy the game's E rating and followed Pomni into the loading screen for the hallway.

Some things are too good to be true...

Caine took a deep breath, happy to be out of the Kings court, but a sense of bittersweetness hit him. He's done. He and Able can leave... but what about Pomni? She can't leave. Maybe he could come back? Maybe the game would work properly now that everyone's madness has been corrected? He squeezed his teeth shut at the overwhelming thoughts.

He needed to talk this through with her, he knew that much. They've grown close. He cares for her. He didn't want to just leave. "Pomni- ...Pomni?" He opened his teeth to find himself alone in the hallway. "Maybe she's taking longer to load in?" He waited. She never came.

Band organ music came from the far end of the cavernous hall, playing a showtime tune. It eerily echoed to Caine like a circus siren's call. Caine followed the music cautiously. "Pomni..?" It came from behind Pomni's door, light shining from beneath. With no other options on what to do, he opened the door and stepped through.

Welcome to the show

Caine entered the tent to applause, lively music playing and spotlights flashing around the unseen audience. He hasn't seen the circus so lively since his performance in level one.

Around the center ring were figures Caine couldn't quite make out, the bright spotlights blinded him with every pass. He got closer. The figure nearest him was moving erratically.

"Caine!! Caine, it's a tra-mmph!!" Able tried to warn his brother, only to be silenced by a dancer's ribbon wrapping his cards together.

The lights stopped. The music stopped. A single spotlight came on over a figure on the high tightrope. "Tsk...tsk...why must you spoil the surprise?" A high feminine laugh fills the big top.

More lights come on over the restrained figures around the center ring. Ragatha. Gangle. Jax. Zooble. Kinger. All bound in chains along with Able.

"Pomni!? What's going on??" Caine was mortified, seeing the malicious grin on her face. His head hurt. The foreign memory feels closer.

"Congratulations, Player. You've defeated everyone who stood in my way. Now, this is MY Carnival! MY SHOW! And you..." She chuckles darkly. "...are no longer required."

"CAINE! I'M SORRY! I CAN'T STOP THIS!" Sentient Pomni screamed from inside, fighting back as hard as she could.

"The secret boss..." Caine said to himself. "You....no..." It was in the game files he read before he ever entered to find his brother. Information that was stored in Bubble, but never knew the true identity of the boss. Only that they existed. "Pomni, don't do this!" He pleaded.

"WELCOME TO YOUR GRAND FINALE!!" Pomni raised her arms and the circus became vibrate neon. Every color was an attack on the senses. Loud music blared. NPC circus performers and toy-like life sized animals emerged from backstage. It was a flurry of movement that disoriented Caine.

A massive health bar, one ever larger than Kinger's, appeared in Caine's lower field of vision. She was not Pomni. She was THE JESTER.

An elephant with performers atop it rampaged at Caine. He dove out of the way just in time. He looked back up at the tightrope. The Jester was gone. He has to keep moving. Every step he took, another performer was attacking him. "POMNI! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU!!"

Multiple confetti canons aimed and fired. Caine's preacticed reflexes kept him clear of each shot as he searched for Pomni in the chaos. He dodged flying balls and colorful performing horses. He didn't see the arial silk performers swinging at him, and he was struck in the chest.

Caine rolled across the circus floor, slamming into one of the poles supporting the tightrope. He struggles to get to his feet, winded from the hit. Someone stood before him, he looked up to see the Jester glaring down at him. She grabbed his collar and pulled him to his feet with unknown strength.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please, don't hurt him!" Sentient Pomni begged.

"Then take your final bow, Player. Because everything ends here." She threw him away from her in time for a trapeze to swing low and knock him to the far side of the circus.

Caine lost a whole third of his health. Tears brimmed his eyes. This was too much. Everything was happening at once. He wasn't ready for this.

He tried to run for the door.

He slammed into it as it refused to budge.

"Nuh-uh-uh, Player." The Jester giggled. "There is no escaping me." She sent a flurry of streamers to entangle her prey.

Caine moved quickly from the door, outrunning the streamers as they reached for him.

Pomni grunted in frustration. "Stop moving!" She pointed to Caine, confetti canons ready to fire.

Caine ran around until he stood between the Jester and a canon. "I'm sorry..." He dove out of the way in time for a shot of violent confetti to smack the Jester off her feet.

"Ah!" Sentient Pomni screeched from the hit. She could still feel everything happening to her body.

The damage to the boss Jester was minimal, but Caine felt a rock in his stomach having to hurt her. Tears made it hard to focus. "I'm sorry!" He ran for a trapeze pole to get away from the chaotic movement on the ground.

The Jester wiped her lip, cackling. "Yes, Player! Fight back! Give the audience a show they'll never forget!"She raised her arm and a swinging performer grabbed her to move her up.

Caine found himself where this all started; on a small platform, high above the circus, Pomni opposing him, but instead of performing together...he was meant to defeat her. His chest felt tight. "Pomni! I know you're in there! It doesn't have to be this way! There's always a choice!"

Sentient Pomni cried from inside her prison. "Not this time..."

The Jester grinned. "Win or lose. That is your choice, Player."

Caine looked down at his brother. Able was still bound, desperately fighting the restraints.

Defeat the Jester, and he and Able are free.

Die, and Able and the others live in the Jester's world forever.

Caine clenched his fists. He glares at the Jester with mournful anger. "I'll find a way! I'm not finishing this without Pomni!"

The Jester let out a shrill laugh. "Then you are a greater fool than you seem!" She leapt from her platform to grab a trapeze. The audience cheered as the Jester did a flip to the next trapeze to get closer to Caine.

An idea came to him. He grabbed the trapeze hooked to his side and swung. The Jester spun midair to catch another swinging trapeze when Caine came up high and clothes lined her with his leg.

"Ack-!" The Jester was struck in the neck and missed the bar. She was caught by another passing aerialist.

The crowd booed and a good chunk of the Jester's health bar went down.

"Goodness, that worked!?" Caine gasped as he landed on a platform.

Sentient Pomni groans, instinctually rubbing her neck. Then she suddenly felt less restricted. "Huh?"

Green and blue pixels distorted the Jester's eyes, she shook it off. "ARGH!" The Jester growled, kicked the NPC off of her and swung herself at Caine.

Caine dove for a passing silk and arched with it at the oncoming Jester. He twisted his silk with hers, preventing her from doing anything impressive.

The crowd booed harder.

"NO!!" The Jester snarled, trying to get her silk swinging again. Her health went down more. "NO!! MY PERFORMANCE WILL NOT BE RUINED!!" She jumped from the silk to a passing elephant, doing a handstand. She got a few cheers and her health increased some.

Sentient Pomni slammed herself against the borders of her mind. With each hit she felt movement in her own fingers again. "You can't hold me! I'll make sure you fail!" One more good try and her arms glitched out on the hand stand, dropping the Jester on her face.

Caine saw the glitches. "Pomni!! Keep fighting!" He swung himself to trapeze and gained some speed to fly kick at the Jester.

The Jester sat up on the elephant in time to see a boot flying at her face. She tried to duck, but she glitched back up.

BAM!!

The Jester fell backwards off the elephant to the dusty floor outside the ring. The Jester glitched and pixelated severely. Health dropping, Pomni fought hard for control. "Caine! Please!! End this- NO! I will have what is due! I am the Ringmaster now- CAINE!!" Pomni the Jester's eyes flashed between blue and green. Glitches distort their appearance and voice.

Caine had landed nearby and watched the horrific ordeal Pomni was facing. "Pomni, I can't! You- I don't want to defeat you! Regain control!"

"She's too- YOU WILL NOT STOP ME!!" The Jester got up faster than Caine could react. Her eyes blazed green as she shoved Caine over the edge of the ring. He fell backwards into the path of the stampeding animals and performers. "NOOO!!"

Caine was trampled by zebras and clowns on pogo sticks. He crawled as far as he could out of the way but took serious damage. His health was in the red. He planted as he crawled for the pole ladder. He glared back at the Jester. "You want me? ...come and get me."

"Caine! Don't!" Pomni fought the Jester as she grabbed a circling performer to the other pole connecting the high tightrope. Glitches made her slip every few rungs, but the Jester determinedly climbed in her single minded agenda to end this.

Caine met the Jester's glare across the wire. The audience below awed at the spectacle of the two performers making their way toward the middle. Caine focused hard to keep balance. He has a plan.

When the Jester was far enough from her platform, he pirouetted, making the wire wobble. This got him applause and thwarted the Jester's attempts at a stunt. The Jester's health fell to critical and she glitched hard. She fell on the wire and koala clung to it.

Caine moved closer, ready to grab at her. "Fight her, Pomni! You can do it!"

Pomni fought with all her might, but it wasn't enough. Whatever restrictions were on the program that allowed her to maintain control were gone. The Jester was here to stay. "I-I- can't!" Pomni glitched again as the Jester fought back. She slid, hanging on the wire with only her hands.

Caine dropped on the wire and grabbed her arm. "I believe in you, Pomni! Please! I've got you!"

The failed wire stunts made the crowd angry. They booed and hissed at the "poor" performance, making the Jester screech and glitch. Her hands slipped off the wire.

Caine gripped her wrist as hard as he could. "Pomni!!"

Pomni held tight as she saw the chaos below. Then Abel. Her friends. This was bigger than her. This ended with her, one way or another. She looked back at Caine, sorrow in her eyes. "Let me go..."

"WHAT!? No! You're going to win this!"

"She's too powerful. This won't stop until it's over. It's the only way you'll get home."

"It can't be the only way! Don't let go!" He pleaded as he felt her slipping.

Pomni gave him a sad smile. "I love you, Caine Alexander Eden..." She let go of his wrist.

"POMNI!!!" He cried out as her hand slid through his grasp.

Pomni closed her eyes as she fell to the circus floor. Caine lost sight of her in the crowd of performers and made his way to the nearest platform to climb down.

A hush fell over the tent as the performers vanished. The music stopped. The colors muted. The audience went silent. The chains binding Able and the others broke.

Pomni was revealed lying face up in the center of the circus, as though she only fell asleep. Caine rushed to her, fell to his knees and held her to his chest. "Pomni? Pomni, please." He gently brushed the hair from her face. He shook with grief. This couldn't be how things were supposed to end.

He held her for a long while, part of him hoping she would just...wake up. He couldn't hold in the sorrow that washed over him. He wailed as he held her against him. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Pomni, I'm sorry!" He hiccupped as he sobbed against her face. "I love you too...I always have...I'm sorry I was too much of a coward to tell you..."

Able kneeled next to Caine. There was nothing he could say that would make the situation better in the slightest. He sat with Caine just to be there for him. The others didn't crowd, but they were mournfully silent in solidarity.

Bubble popped in, gently leaning against Caine's shoulder. His abilities calm Caine's heart rate.

Caine felt Pomni get lighter in his arms. He sat up with a gasp, a split second of hope in his heart that she was getting up. Instead, her body turned to wisps of glitter. She fell apart in his hands and flew to create a doorway in front of him.

The glitter solidified and became a bright red door with the word exit printed on it. Caine sat, mortified as the ending text appeared before him.

Thank you for playing the Amazing Digital Carnival!

[the-kr8tor]

haii !! for your fluffy friday:

hobie brown x reader and reader got one of those american girl doll baby dolls (i forgot what theyre called) so hobie and reader can take care of it like its a real baby 🤗

Hi, angel! Thank you for your request, hope you like it ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x Fem! Reader

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Reader is pregnant, Fluff.

It's Fluffy Friday!

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You and Hobie wave goodbye to Mayday, she pouts in her dad's arms, not ready to go home yet. Baby blues tearing up, her lip wobbles. Peter tries to console his daughter. The portal swirls in your living room, bathing it in a yellow glow. You cringe at how your stuff will fall harshly on the floors once it closes.

"You'll see them again, don't you miss mama?" He bounces her in his arms. Mayday only frowns more at her father's question, emotions running high.

"Mm-hmm, I'm sure your mommy misses you a lot, Mayday" you coo at the toddler, cradling your baby bump. You're about to burst any day now.

Hobie hands Peter Mayday's baby bag, "yeah, we'll just be here waiting for you" he ducks down to meet Mayday's teary eyes, shaking her tiny hands, trying to bring comfort. You grin at the interaction, hormones making you tear up.

"Thanks guys, I really need to get her home before she throws a tantrum. See ya!" Peter makes Mayday wave her hand by using his own. "Say bye bye, Mayday! Hit me up if you need any help, okay?" she finally wails as her dad steps inside the portal. Her cries get cut off by the portal closing.

"Oof glad I'm not Peter right now" you huff, turning around to look for Hobie, "Hobie?"

He crouches down to pick up a baby doll left on the floor. Shaking it in his grip, "D'you think she was crying because of this?"

"I don't think so, she barely played with it" you shrug, wobbling to him, taking the doll in his hands. Still accustomed to taking care of an actual baby, you cradle the toy like it's alive. "We can give it back to Pete next time they visit"

Hobie cracks an endearing smile, he's seen you hold Mayday before with the same enthusiasm but something about you carrying a smaller baby albeit a toy one unlocks something in his mind. He's absolutely excited to have the little one in your arms.

"You look really fit right now" Hobie eyes you up and down, whistling. You make pregnancy look good.

You roll your eyes, "what?" Not believing the words he uttered "my shirt is covered in baby food," you sniff at your collar. "Yep, mango baby food. And I haven't washed my hair in days"

Hobie leads you in his arms by your elbow, holding you close, the baby doll right in the middle of your cuddling, stomach making it hard to embrace him properly.

You suddenly realize what he really meant, knowing him well. Basically reading his mind when he lays his head on your shoulder, tired from chasing around Mayday all over the flat; hand rubbing soft circles over your tummy. The other kneads at the small of your back, massaging the aching muscle.

He's been so supportive the entire pregnancy, even with all your weird cravings and hormone induced mood swings, Hobie was always there to help ease the burden off of you. You've seen him get more and more excited everyday, bouncing all over the flat to get it ready for the baby.

"Yeah? I look good?" Bouncing the toy in your arms, you smirk at Hobie.

"Mm-hmm," Hobie peppers your face with sticky kisses leaving you all giggly and smiley. "So" kiss "bloody" kiss "good"

"Okay" laughing in between "calm down this is the reason why I'm pregnant" instead of pulling away, you encourage him by leaving your own kisses on his cheeks.

After a moment of you attacking his face with your lips, you finally pull away, scrunching your nose endearingly at Hobie with a lopsided grin. His hand never leaves your bump.

"Maybe we should keep this for a few days, might be good for practice" He holds the doll by its foot jokingly. You know he's prepared enough to know how to hold a baby properly.

You chuckle, "not a good start, babe" taking the doll with care, cradling its head, you indulge him.

"I haven't got that swaddling thing down"

"Come on then, let's practice" leading him to the bedroom by his hand with a tired but happy smile.

Reblog banner by @/cafekitsune

[kandadze]

Ep 28 loose thoughts

I'm glad for the lighthearted opening, because I know it'll just go downhill from here. Also, PSJ lumped with the men while ZYZ gets to annoy them from the distance is peak comedy. Again, I'm pretty sure we'll need all the laughs we can get.

Also, this is purely from an aesthetic point of view, and seeing ZYC out of his usual deep blues, grays and indigos was jarring, to say the least. The sandy beige does not compliment his porcelain complexion at all... unless they were going for this washed-out, weary look specifically, in which case, A+ (and boy, does he have reasons to be weary lol). Bonus: Ying Lei and PSJ knowing exactly why he's calling ZYZ a bastard 😂

"Next time, please finish your words in one go." Where's the fun in that though, ZYZ? You walked right into that one all by yourself 🤣

Of course Li Lun's way of "asking" for the scale was to threaten its owner with death. I'm afraid he hasn't learned anything... pity, really. I would love for him to have *some* sort of character growth.

Wow, ain't she miss popular all of a sudden! Is the Chongwu Camp guy gonna help LL to save Bai Jiu's body, or is he gonna go with his boss's orders after all? And of course the boss has *something* on the princess - I refuse to believe that his repulsive ass is Meng Xuan.

What's with that look, LL? Did you forget that the 3-face-mask - what's his name again? Wen something? - is after ZYZ's inner core? Did you think he was gonna stop trying to get it when you backed out of your deal? (Unless he's more like, welp, there goes my chance to get rid of the  poison...)

The whole "why do we need the scale" sequence is sending me. Ying Lei: she's so good at making up stories! ZYC: she probably got that from one of her novels. YL: I was not allowed to read erotica!!! 🤣 Meanwhile, in the distance, WX: let me spin this even harder, for maximum effect. ZYZ: 😲😱🤯😵‍💫🫡 YL: 🤢

But of course, the show will not let us forget that the success rate of interspecies romance in this universe is exactly zilch, nada, and zippo... and here I am, still holding onto hope for some kind of satisfactory ending. Oof, the way WX went "you owe me a life" so matter-of-factly... give me more female characters with a backbone of steel!

Omg can I just barf. Wen Zongyu *is* Meng Xuan? Is it just me who finds the taste of the Wilderness women we've seen so far shacking up with humans - Bai Jiu's mom and now the princess -  highly questionable? Like, why. My aroace ass cannot conceive how the princess could fall for *that* guy, of all people. I've sat through all the tragic romances so far not quite understanding maybe, but believing in all of them, but this, no.

(Also, it is now confirmed, that little bridge is like a tourist attraction for lovers, only every couple who sat on it is doomed. You should've played with your sparklers at the dock, ZYZ, WX!)

Oh wait hold up? Meng Xuan is someone WZY knew? He pretended to be him? Oh for fuck's sake! But the woman the princess poisoned *was* WZY's wife, right? And WX's dad and WZY knew each other??? This is so confusing ffs

"An innocent person's only crime is to own something valuable." "People with a treasure are always surrounded by bad wolves and cunning foxes. In most cases, in order to protect the treasure, they become a bloodthirsty beast, too." "It's a choice. She could choose not to." Love this whole convo on innocence and how it can get twisted, and ZYC restating his values. (I also get distracted by his eyelashes, like, constantly. 😅)

Oh, is WX going for the jugular. (And it appears only ZYC knew about the princess killing WX's dad. When did he find out, I wonder.) Also, hello? The *triple* murderer gets to make a request? For ZYZ's inner core, nonetheless??? I mean, I know why she's asking for that specifically - Chongwu Camp lackey did get to her first, after all - but that's not how "paying back" works, lady.

ZYZ, you just promised ZYC that you won't seek death, and then not only do you risk your life for him almost immediately after, now you're back on your self-sacrificial bs??? I swear, ZYC's patience for this demon. And his love, too. "Keep your inner core. I won't exchange it for anything, not even the Cloud Light Sword." Ahhh my heart.

Did he really pull a demonic equivalent of "my body, my choice"??? ::dies:: and then he goes, you don't want to make that choice, I'll make it for you. I immediately flashed back to Ying Long making the decision for Bingyi, oh no 😭

Awwww goddamnit everyone (not you WX, you're on the right side here), stop making ZYC sad! He cares for all of you, stop forcing him to make impossible choices! (You can tell I'm really invested when I start talking directly to the characters lol) In a way I understand why Ying Lei and PSJ would choose Xiao Jiu over ZYZ. YL's grandpa's death is no doubt still fresh on his mind, and even though in a way he seems to be going against his grandpa's final act of love, it's also a sort of "life for life" reasoning. For PSJ, even if her views of demons shifted since we first met her, Xiao Jiu is first and foremost a kid who reminds her of her brother. So I understand where they might be coming from, and I still don't like that ZYC has to deal with his found family fracturing before his very eyes.

Goddamnit, Ying Lei's projecting his own wish for being special and chosen. Makes sense, our underappreciated comic relief might not be expressing it much but we've been shown his constant vying for attention and validation (especially from ZYC and XJ) often enough. Headpats my dear boy, you *are* special. You are also, however, using emotional blackmail to sway ZYC, and I don't like that.

Ah, PSJ, back to annoying tf out of me. "Not 'we.' Just you and Zhuo Yichen" is it now? Damn it, this show just keeps finding ways to make my heart hurt. Don't break up the family!!! Not like this! You tell them, ZYC! (ZYZ's face when ZYC in essence said, over my dead body!)

............

Remember folks this is me yelling into my notepad as I'm watching bit by bit. At this point I had to stop because I reached my limit and at the same time had a terrible thought that this is another illusion. Because no way in hell did I just watch them-  Draw. Weapons. On. ZYC???!!!

This can't be real. ZYZ, stop this nonsense!

....... I hate it here.

Okay, before I go any further, I *know* from the MV and the trailer that whatever the fuck just happened can't be real. But they better have a *very* good explanation because my poor heart pretty much stopped for a moment.

So they got the scale. Yippie.

What was the point of all of this if she dgaf for the letter? Please get them both off of my screen, he's a fucking monster and she has no taste, and I dgaf for their tragic story (barf). I think this is the first time I got seriously annoyed while watching this drama, which, considering we're on ep 28, is a feat in itself.

How tf did he recognize PSJ's arrow? Can he tell it's hers by its trajectory? I guess he's just naturally brilliant at everything killing related?

OMG ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, DRAMA. We were told earlier that the fish can communicate with Longyu! And they gave us a shot of fish in that pond they were all standing at! They even showed us WX holding up something before the "break-up" started - I just didn't realize it was her "notebook"... So everyone was acting??? But there was no way ZYC could've read her notes, so was he the only one who wasn't??? 😭 You mofos, how dare you put him through stress like that!!!

"Go away." "Okay." Someone's sleeping on a couch tonight... From the music in the background I know we're supposed to find this reveal funny, the *four* of them definitely do (while laughing at him), and I just keep thinking of what it must've felt like to him. Isn't his biggest fear losing his loved ones? Whether by death or by a difference in thought, which changes love into hate? (Stil not over that little speech on love vs hate XJ's mom gave several eps back!) Even if it was a ruse, for him it was real. In short, ZYC my man, I applaud you for your restraint; I would've blasted the lot with some ice by now.

Oof another reveal. Will the asshole care? I doubt it. ZYZ's hand on WX's shoulder because of course she's gonna blame herself. Aaaand I was right, the asshole doesn't care... can someone just shoot him for me, please.

Wow, ZYZ, you little attention whore. And again they're giving us the "you can't choose your origin, but you can choose your own life," just as they're marching us towards the inevitable end. Nooo, not the leaves speech! Seriously, the amount of beautiful, soul-crushing lines in this drama! Aaaand he just said the title. The dream will end, we will wake up, we'll go back to reality. But we'll remember the dream forever... I feel like WX is expressing our hopes for a different ending, and ZYZ is confirming our fears that it can't be changed. Goddamnit.

And then she goes, let's live together, even though there's definitely something wrong going on with her??? Thanks for the forehead touch, drama, I'm a sucker for those.

Aw LL, you sad little demon possessing a dying child's body. I find it fascinating how different his cave looks now, almost ethereal with all the flowers and floating lights, while he's decaying (not to mention all the raw meat he's been consuming).

ZYC changed clothes, thank goodness 😅 I mean, y'all *could* just apologize? Why make it seem that he's the unreasonable one for being genuinely upset over something he didn't know was an act? The prolonged hovering of their hands, I can't 🤣 Do you want to get the scale stolen? Because that's how you get things stolen in this world, by not using them immediately. Come to think of it, why don't they know how to use it? You'd think Ying Long told them, right? (What you wanna bet that somehow WZY knows?) What the heck did I just say? They're already being watched...

Good on you for not being fooled (I mean, ZYC *never* smiles like that, why does she keep making the same mistake), but oh goodness did he lose the thing he was supposed to guard with his life *fast*. I hate that we see them so reactive so often, and just *not* smart. They *just* said LL was going to try to get the scale - but they still left Ying Lei by himself? Please, you're supposed to be good, not *dumb*!

Huh, I guess I should've known there'll be another twist(s). I'm exhausted so all I have left is, I appreciate the little moment of softness between LL and his human livers dealer, and did ZYZ really teach LL *all* his tricks? We shall see. (And as I promised myself, I'm not checking out the preview. My sanity's frayed as it is.)

[sublimecatgalaxy]

liz i miss you :((( i keep saying i have to message you and then getting distracted (as per usual 🙄) i can't wait for the semester to end so that i can actually have a life again!

for theme night, can i request number 26 with joel please? <3

I love you sweetheart, message me anytime, whenever you're free :)

Also bestie, I'm writing this way way way after my theme night and can't remember what number 26 was lol so I hope you'll take this as is.

"Hello?" He answers the phone with a gruff sigh and my cheeks warm at the sound of his husky voice, a smile spreading across my face at the sound.

"Hi Joel." I coo but he scoffs and I can hear him shuffling on the other end of the line.

"What do you want?" His question makes my stomach drop, though probably not intended to come out so harsh, it did and it makes my heart sink nonetheless.

"Ouch, not happy to hear from me?" I ask with a sudden lull to my voice and I hear him curse, and I can picture him rubbing his forehead in annoyance and sighing a much-needed breath.

"Sorry, it's been a long day and- Sarah, go to sleep already, damnit." I hear him bat the girl away as she giggles, calling out my name through the receiver and I giggle, slapping a hand across my lips at the sound of her teasing her father for speaking to me this late.

"Need me to come over and make you feel better?" I ask and he shushes me before going back to talking to Sarah, practically begging her and bribing her to go to sleep already.

"Don't start with that." He mutters into the phone and I smirk, twirling the phone cord between my fingers as I play dumb, something I know he loves though he'll always act like he hates it.

"Start with what?"

"Behave." He groans and I fall back onto the bed with an oof, hoping and begging that he'll tell me to come over, even though he's acting like it's the last thing he wants to be bothered with.

"I'm doing nothing."

"You're doin' a whole lotta talkin'." He laughs, the first genuine sign of happiness that I've managed to pull from him all night and all day of texting and I smile, knowing that his frustration from earlier was just that, frustration at something else.

"What would you rather my lips be doing?" I ask and there's a pause, the line humming with static as he thinks of something to say.

"Hush." He whispers with a sigh and I bite at my lip, waiting, knowing that if he's going to ask me to come over, it's going to be now. "Leave in twenty, I'll make sure Sarah's asleep."

"See you then, tough guy." I'm jumping out of bed as soon as the line cuts and, with a huge smile on my face, I gather my clothes for tomorrow, snatching my toothbrush out of the bathroom before I'm out the door.

[starrrlights]

Can you do an Elsa x F!reader plsss? Something thats both angsty and fluffy??

Cure a Frozen Heart

Sure 🫶🏻🫶🏻 I am so sorry for it being so long 😭I also wanted it to not really end fluffly??? If that makes sense, but it story runs on the og plot kinda so you do get a happy ending in that way.

Warnings: Fem!reader (she/her), angst, fluff, you cry, a mention of your cheeks heating up but no physical description, you wear a blue dress (sorry not sorry),

Summary: you care deeply about Elsa, and she does for you. But after what happened with Anna? She needs to protect you from herself

A/n: I'm writing this as I remembered the movie, so a few things may be wrong, ngl. Had a Frozen obsession, so I think I'll be fine. I also switched a few lines around; Anna has one of Elsa's lines.

-------- ≪ °✾° ≫ --------

Everything seemed perfect. The chill of the early winter blew through the kingdom of Arendelle, making everyone want to hold their coats and scarfs closer to them. It was predicted that the first snow fall would happen soon, maybe even that night.

Three girls, no older than 12, 11, and 9, danced through a snow filled ballroom, their giggles and laughter could be heard by anyone if they were awake. The oldest, a platinum blonde girl pulled the h/c girl close to her, pulling her around on the ice-covered floor, skating clumsily. The girl's heart pumped faster at how close they were, arms itching to pull the h/c girl closer, strangely.

The youngest girl, with ginger hair, played with the snow. Making snowmen and giving them funny faces.

"(Name)! Elsa!"

She shouts, waving them over to see what she made. The two girls made their way over, the platinum blonde girl already missing the closeness of the other girl.

Anna hid behind one of the snowmen and waved his arms up and down. Who knows how she got sticks and a carrot.

"Hi! I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs."

The girls let out a few giggles at the deep voice the youngest had put on. The h/c girl walked over and picked up the girl, an 'oof' was let out at the small girl's weight.

"I love you, Olaf."

She said jokingly, twirling the girl around. High pinched laughs filled the room, and it wasn't hard to miss the eldest's smile at the adorable sight in front of her.

ꕥꕥꕥ

Elsa created a small snowbank for the girls to jump into, watching as Anna laughed and got up, yelling 'again, again' as she went to jump again. Elsa caught her with ease with another snowbank, this one slightly bigger.

"Hold on!"

(Name) watched with amusement as she watched the two princesses play around. Her gaze went to the eldest princess, watching with wonder and amazement. She could feel her cheeks heat up a little, was it the cold? Or something else? She admired the way the girl's braided hair fell over her shoulder in a messy but elegant way and the way her eyes sparkled like snow in the sun. Which was ironic, because she had ice powers.

"Faster!", "Again!"

The girl's attention went back to Anna, seeing that she was jumping faster. Panic went down her spine as she saw how much more dangerous it was becoming. She stood up from the snowbank, snow sticking to her pajamas, making it cold and damp.

"Anna, wait!"

Elsa's balance shifted and she fell backwards, (Name) whipped her head to the girl's direction.

"Elsa!"

Elsa could feel her heart drop as she saw that Anna had jumped again, rushing her hand up to create another snow hill. But with panic, her aim was off and accidentally hit Anna, making to young girl fall on the cold ground, passed out.

"Anna!"

The two girls shouted, scrambling to get to the girl. Elsa dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around the now passed out girl, seeing a streak of white pass through her hair.

Frost and ice began to climb the walls, making the room colder, and darker.

"Oh, nonono... Mama! Papa!"

The platinum haired girl screamed, holding her sister close. (Name) dropped to her knees as well and put her cold hands-on Anna's face, feeling and looking for any signs that she was awake and breathing.

Just then, loud banging was made on the door, the King and Queen breaking through the ice-covered doors. A shocked and scared expression was plastered on their face as they rushed to the three girls.

"Elsa, what have you done? This is getting out of hand!"

"It was an accident,"

Elsa held her sister closer to her, in a protective matter. Almost like she was protecting her from that harm that was inflicted onto her.

"'m sorry, anna."

King Agnarr said, picking up the cold girl in his arms, holding her tightly.

"She's ice cold."

Queen Idunna said, feeling the poor girl's face, looking at her husband with fear in her eyes, fear for her youngest's life. Agnarr let out a shaken sigh and looked at his wife.

"I know where to go."

ꕥꕥꕥ

You don't remember much of the rest of the night. Being shaken up and scared for both Anna and Elsa, it was understandable. You remember one of the maid's taking you home, explaining to your parents that the sleepover with the princesses had to be cut short because of complications.

You were allowed to go back a few days later, relieved that the young girl was happy and wake, practically the same as before. Anna was excited to see you, yapping about everything that happened while you were gone. But not mentioning the night she got hit.

'Weird.'

You thought but didn't want to press it. Other than the white streak in her hair, she looked the exact same. So, you let out a sigh of relief, but you couldn't help but feel off, your eyes looking around for a certain someone.

"Hey, Anna. Where's Elsa?"

"Oh, she's in her room. She hasn't been playing with me for a while."

That was what was off. Elsa was a bit more 'mature' than what Anna was, but she never not playing with her. You nodded your head softly and gently shook the girl's shoulder.

"Well, I'm going to go get her then. See if I can get her out."

Thankfully, that was the end of the conversation as Anna nodded her head and went off to do whatever Anna did.

You walked down the castle's halls, looking at all of the fancy and expensive paintings along that way. Your feet slowly stop in front of two doors. The doors that lead to the ballroom. A small shiver went down your spine and kept walking, the fear of that night creeping up on you again.

You reach the halls of where the girl's bedrooms were, walking past random doors and paintings until you reached the two familiar big doors that led to Elsa's room. You knocked on the door and listened for any response.

"Go away, Anna."

The sentence made your heart sink. Why was Elsa acting like this?

"It's me."

A silence fell upon you, and you waited for another response. But didn't get one.

"... may I come in?"

Another silence. Your brows furrowed as you heard not response back. You were feeling a lot for feelings from this. Sadness, anger, confusion, and... hurt? Would that be one? You didn't know, only knowing that this wasn't what you wanted the day to end up as.

"... Elsa, you need to answer me-"

"Go away, (Name). I don't want you here."

A sharp, thick dagger went to your heart. Cutting its way through your spine and to the deep pits of your stomach. A small gasp left your lifts at the feeling. You stared at the door in shock. Astonished at her words.

"... what...? I-I don't-"

"(Name), please. It's for your own good."

You couldn't see, but on the other side of the door, Elsa sat on the floor, back to the door, and her knees to her chest. She was already upset and mad at herself for pushing her sister away, but now you? She could feel her throat tighten up, her hands trembling, itching to hold you once more. She didn't know what she was feeling for you. But she knew that she didn't want to push you away. She wanted to hold you, play with you, joke with you. Anything and everything. It wasn't fair. Why did she have to be born with powers? Why did she have to hurt Anna. She knew she was hurting Anna and probably hurting you, but this was what she needed to do.

She needed to protect you. Protect you from her.

"... please."

Her voice went soft, and she fought the tears from spilling from her eyes. The memory of see what her future could become from Grand Pabbie, the vision of red and her possibly hurting more people frightened the deepest pits of her soul. She didn't want this, never in a million years.

You couldn't help but try to reason with Elsa, trying to find the right words.

"Will you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help you."

The blonde girl couldn't bear the thought of you knowing what she saw. What you possibly happen for her future.

"No, I can't. You can never know what happened. You're too good for that. That's why I want you to leave the castle and forget me."

"Elsa! Why would you think I'd do that-"

You scolded, not wanting her to feel like this. Oh, if only you could hug her. Feel her weirdly cool warmth and see her pretty blue eyes again. You were about to say something else before you were abruptly cut off.

"Because I need to protect you!"

The sudden shout shocked both of you, your mouth agape slightly, mouthing her words slightly. You felt frustration build up. You didn't need protecting, you had nothing to be protected from.

"Protect from what?!"

You said a little louder than you meant it to come off as. Hurt and frustration clear in your voice.

"From me."

You couldn't hold back anymore tears, letting them slip through your eyes and down your cheek. No matter how many times you wanted to act 'mature' and not cry, you were still a kid. Your feelings too strong for the world to control.

"That's stupid! I don't need protection from you!"

"Well, I think you do!"

Now Elsa felt cold tears run down her face, shaky breaths leaving her lips. Your hands went to your head and held it in frustration, applying slight pressure to it.

"Well, I don't! I never need protection from you! I... I just want to see you again. Why can't you come out!?"

"(Name)!"

Elsa shouts, making you immediately close your mouth. Your heart felt like it was breaking into two. You felt like you were losing your best friend. You didn't want that.

"Please."

With a shaky breath, you wiped away your tears from your cheeks and nodded.

"... F-fine. I'll leave."

You stood there for a few more seconds before walking away. Only hearing your breathing and footsteps as you walked the now cold and lonely halls, you felt like throwing up, breaking something, but you couldn't, you just felt... sad, upset, angry, scared... tired.

ꕥꕥꕥ

For weeks you and Elsa didn't speak. But you were both heavy on each other's mind. You had gotten a letter a few weeks after the fight, it was an apology letter from Elsa. Anger bubbled inside of you; she couldn't even see you in person? What happened that night? You never knew. But you kept the letter, not knowing whether or not it would be the last thing you'll ever get from her.

New guards, maids, and butlers were hired, replacing the old ones. A shift was very present in the castle, at least to you. Everything was much colder, sadder even. You continued to come to the castle for Anna, becoming her playmate and closer friends.

You wrote back to Elsa. Also, an apology letter, saying that you were also a little bit in the wrong for pushing it, even though you personally thought that Elsa had most of the blame, but you would never tell her that. You pushed the letter under her door one day while you were at the castle to hang out with Anna.

That started a small habit of writing to Elsa. She sometimes replied, but mostly never really did. You cherished the letters, keeping them safe in a drawer, safe from ever getting ruined.

You mostly wrote about your day, or week and would talk about anything big happening. Always ending the letter with:

'I miss you, (Name).'

The last letter you received from Elsa was the one after the King and Queen died, tragically.

'I appreciate any concern you may have for me, but I am fine. You do not need to write anymore letters to me. Thank you, Elsa.'

You still write her letters of course, but they became less frequent, somewhat respecting her wishes. You missed her too much to stop, to much to let go.

ꕥꕥꕥ

Coronation Day, big day for many. The kingdom was opening their doors for their people and others for the first time in years.

It was spring, so many flowers were used to decorate the place. People gushed and gossiped about why the doors closed in the first place.

You and Anna had a sleepover the night before, wanting to get ready together. A knock was heard through the door and a voice came through.

"Princess Anna, (Name). Time to wake up!"

you open your eyes at the sound and let out a yawn, removing the crust from your eyes. Anna was the one to speak up first.

"Mm... oh yeah? (Yawn) I'll be up in just a minute."

She slowly started falling back asleep, making you giggle at the sight. A short pause happened before another knock came.

"I'm awake! I'm awake..."

Anna mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"You two need to get ready for Elsa's big day."

"Elsa's big day... get ready for..."

Anna opened her eye and looked forward, which just happened to be where your dresses were.

"...day..."

she lets out a loud gasp, turning to you excited.

"It's Coronation Day!"

You couldn't help but chuckle at her newfound excitement, waking up so fast. You both got ready. Putting up whatever makeup that looked good, doing your hair, and put on your dresses.

You both rush out and Anna starts singing and gushing about what might happen today.

"Calm down, Anna. Good things will come to you when you wait."

"I know, but I'm too impatient for that."

ꕥꕥꕥ

After the whole... Hans thing, you found good seats to watch the coronation, thanks to the staff. You had gotten weird vibes from that guy, but you couldn't put your finger on why. Maybe he was too nice? Oh well, it'll come to you later.

After a little bit of waiting and everyone settling down, the coronation started. The choir sang traditional songs, and the doors could be heard being opened, showing the one and only, Elsa. Everyone stands up and watches as she walked down the aisle, walking to the priest, where the scepter, orb, and crown was.

The second your eyes laid on her, your heart almost stopped beating.

"Gods, she's beautiful."

You can tell she hadn't seen you yet, as you were closer to the front.

The ceremony happened and Elsa turned round, holding the orb and scepter. She looks straight ahead, but in her vision, she can see you, and oh, she almost dropped the darn things. If she wasn't so panicked about controlling her powers and staring straight, she would gladly look at you.

You had grown beautifully, the was your hair was styled and the was your skin seemed to glow in the sunlight. Oh your smile. She had to fix herself and looked down, seeing that frost was halfway up the orb and basically covering the scepter. She panicked internally and impatiently waited for the priest to finish his speech before putting both things back down on the pillow and slid her gloves on fast. Turning around as everyone said:

"For Arendelle."

ꕥꕥꕥ

The party was great. everyone was enjoying fancy food and the music. couples danced to the carefully chosen classical music, dancing practiced dances while talking about whatever. You stood by the food, giggling as Anna got her foot stepped on by some guy, Duke of Weasletown was it? You didn't care enough about the old geezer to know. Your fit of giggles only became laughter as Anna was dipped, she made a face to her sister before eyeing you as she had to continue dancing with him.

The music soon ended, and she was let go, muttering words under her breath. walking over to you, she made an upset and disgusted face but couldn't contain a giggle.

"I think he ruined my shoes from stepping on them so much."

You nodded, reaching over to take one more of the really good cookies before you felt an arm tug, pulling you through the crowd. you tried to say 'excuse us's and 'sorry's to the people Anna dragged you through before you looked at where you were heading and it was to the front, where Elsa was. you gulped at the sight of her.

Elsa stood tall, overlooking the party, and looking at you. you didn't know if it was to too many cookies or the way she looked at you that made you feel like either melting to the floor or exploding.

you didn't hear what Anna was saying to her sister, and you don't think Elsa did either. her ice-like blue eyes stayed on you, occasionally looking at your outfit but staying on you. you didn't know what to do in that moment, so you said nothing, only giving her a smile.

you let a gentle and small smile that rested on the older girls' face go unnoticed, switching your gaze onto Anna, who had stopped saying whatever she was saying and looking at the both of you. a small but noticeable glimmer of mischief was in her eyes as she let go of your arm, slowly taking a step back.

"Well, I must go, I think I see Hans."

She teased, stepping back to walk away. you would feel your cheeks begin to warm up and a quick glance at Elsa could tell you that she was feeling the same thing at the moment. a pink blush that wasn't there before painted her pale skin, her eyes now didn't want to meet with yours.

"uh- You look beautiful-"

"You look wonderful tonight. oh, did I cut you off?"

"No, it's fine... Thank you."

"Of course, thank you as well."

Damn, she even speaks fancy. an awkward smile reached your lips, not knowing what to do now. a sweet smell filled the room, and you turned your head to smell it better.

"Mm... Smells like-"

"-Chocolate."

You both said chocolate at the same time, leaving you both giggling. your heart warmed at the sound of her laughing, a scene you haven't seen for years.

For Elsa, it felt like you were fire, melting her by every minute that you stood by her, and she love it. She would melt for you any day, just to make you smile. Her heart thumped against her chest as she continued to think about you and look at you.

you were wearing a beautiful blue dress, making you stand out to her. sure, there were other blue dresses in the ballroom, but yours was the best in her eyes. you've grown, growing into a mature young woman. A beautiful one. She didn't know what she was feeling, but the lingering feeling from years before of wanting to keep you close came back to her in waves, making her almost take a step forward, to you.

You take a breath from giggling and look over the party, it was a good view. this felt good, being with Elsa again. you never wanted it to end.

"... This feels good. I kind of wished the party would never end."

you commented to Elsa, looking back at her.

"Yeah, it is..."

Elsa's face slowly but surely dropped, thoughts about that night and what would happen if everyone found out about her secret filled her brain and she tried to shake them away. She tried to shake away of you getting hurt.

"But it can't"

you looked at Elsa confused, not knowing why there was a shift in the conversation.

"Elsa, what do you mean by that?"

"I- It just can't."

[simplygyuu]

Nouvelle Crown - 018 : Still the Same

synopsis : choi beomgyu, the second prince of the royal choi family doesnt have much of a life outside of his duties. even then hes not allowed to do much, his brother is the crown prince after all. but when he meets you, a regular commoner girl, through his brothers friend soobin he cant help but be intrigued. commoner life is so different from what he knows and you are the only person to treat him like the normal teenager he always longed to be. with you he gets to experience the normal, teenager life behind the backs of his overbearing family.

while standing in front of the giant, mansion of a house that belonged to hueningkai you couldnt have felt more out of place. the garden was perfectly kept and there were full on butlers at the door, holding it open for you because they had been 'awaiting your arrival.' it was all so new, something you had never experienced before.

once you walked inside you were led through the admittedly, very confusing home by a maid. she rambled on about how their dear hueningkai had yet to bring friends over that werent beomgyu and how she was so glad to meet you. you felt a bit like a fraud knowing the both of you were acquaintances at best. you should try and befriend him later. he seemed like a sweet guy either way and deserved to have more friends. perhaps him and taehyun would get along.

as you continued up the winding stairs you heard a familiar twinkle of laughter, laughter that you could recognize anywhere. it was gyu, or well beomgyu now. you had already come to terms with him being the prince and having snuck around to hang out with you of all people. at first you were absolutely freaked out but now youve realized hes still the same shy guy you met at 7 eleven. still the guy who sat there for a good hour trying and failing to play simple arcade games. still the same guy who would take time out of his busy days to text you as much as possible.

knocking on the door, the maid peeked her head in and made a small gesture. her and hueningkai must have talked about this before hand because just seconds later he was stepping out of the room and giving you a big thumbs up and smile. nervously you smiled back since it seemed like beomgyu didnt know you were showing up. at least thats how it seemed when you spoke to hueningkai.

with a deep inhale you finally stepped into the large room, the sound causing beomgyu to look towards the door. your eyes widened once you noticed he wasnt wearing the familiar mask you had always seen him in. of course he wasnt, he didnt need to hide his identity with hueningkai. his expression mirrored yours, a shocked look dawning his face as you took the few seconds of shocked silence to study his features. you knew that he was handsome after finding out who he was but it was an entirely different thing to see in person. especially after knowing him personally.

"..yn? what are you doing here?" beomgyu finally piped up, sounding sheepish. he was obviously nervous most likely because you knew his big secret. for a split second you just continued to stare before jogging forward to engulf him in a hug. a soft "oof!" left his mouth from the impact before he hesitantly returned the hug.

"i missed you so much! gosh i never realized how much we talked until you were gone... dont ever do that again!" you began to ramble, hugging him tightly. you had a tendency of picking a 'favorite person' to look forward to speaking to the most and beomgyu had been that for you since a few days after you met. you had looked forward to his texts and to the hangouts you two could manage. you never thought much of it, having had other people as your favorite person that were simply friends. you assumed thats how it was with him too, but now that you were hugging him so tightly and inhaling the familiar floral scent of his perfume you felt pesky butterflies fluttering around in your stomach.

"i missed you too... you arent mad at me?" he asked softly and when you looked up you saw the pout you had imagined so many times. a new round of butterflies burst in your stomach as you smiled and reached up to playfully pinch his cheek. "i could never stay mad at you~"

it caused him to chuckle and try to evade the attack on his cheek without shoving you off him, ever the gentleman. once you finally let go of eachother beomgyu seemed happy to dive into a small tour of hueningkais room. it seemed obvious that he didnt want to talk about what had happened or what happened at the school he was sent to, and that was okay. you had to plans to pressure him into talking. he could come to you or his brother or hueningkai when he was ready.

for now, you were happy to sit and listen to him ramble on about his best friend and their stories together.

--------------------------------------------------------------

previous masterlist next

notes : hi...... sorry ive been sick n have felt HORRIBLE n havent been writing because of it.. its also why this is so short but i really wanted to get something out. pls forgive me :(( once im back to 100% ill try and write smth a little longer!

reblogs and replies are really really appreciated and keep me motivated!

taglist (open) : @mazeinthemoon @pokyloky @run2seob @bluebearybeom @wonioml @rikismiel @yumilovesloona @captivq @soobin-chois @thisisnotjacinta @silvsie @sullystraw @luvsoobs @ddeonudepressions @woncheecks @ioszzn @dudufodd @jaeminanklelicker @strawbrinkofdeath @softcabur @luvsooby @ilovewonyo

send me an ask or message to be added to the taglist! i dont add from replies

[lyra-r05e]

Hi! I thought it would be fun to post a little teaser of the upcoming chapter.

Chapter 11 - Priorities will be posted this Sunday (Oct 6).

The excerpt below is not explicit, but the fic definitely is (minors be warned).

What Friends Are For

Fandom: Stardew Valley

Rating: Explicit (Smut, Graphic Depictions of Violence)

Genre: M/F, Friends with Benefits / Friends to lovers

Pairing: Sebastian x Female Player ('You' perspective)

Summary: You finally finish up the first major arc in your Solarian Chronicles campaign with Sam and Sebastian.

Notes: The characters refer to "you" as "Farmer" in this story. It can be interchangeable with y/n or her nickname.

“The dragon’s fire narrowly misses you both, just barely singeing the ends of your hair as you dodge its fury. It raises its head, and lets out a roar of frustration when it sees you unharmed,” Sebastian snaps his fingers, pointing at Sam who does his best dragon roar impression.

You giggle at his sound effects, breaking character. It's the final boss of this arc in your campaign, and it's been a tough fight so far. No time for giggles, gotta strategize.

“The dragon takes a defensive stance, arching its neck and flicking its tail. It opens its wings wide, looming over you. Both of you, roll an intimidation saving throw please,” Sebastian rolls a die behind his game master screen, taking notes.

“16!” Sam reports.

“Oof, only 11 for me,” you say.

“Samwise is not rattled by the dragon’s body language, but Rancher is shook. You won't be able to move this turn,” Sebastian looks at you over his screen.

“Uh oh. Samwise, I don't think I can dodge another fire breath,” you gulp, looking at Sam, “I could use some of your unearned confidence right about now.”

Sam looks back at Sebastian. “Can I try to inspire her to overcome her fear?”

“Sure, what do you say?” Sebastian grins at his enthusiasm.

Sam turns to you, getting in character. “Don't worry, Rancher. We got this! We've come so far to get here, and we’re so much stronger now. This scaly bastard is slower than us, as long as we anticipate its fire breath there's no way we’ll lose!”

You exaggerate a deep breath. “You’re right, we got this. We’ve already worn it down so much.”

“Good work. Rancher, you get advantage on your next skill check,” Sebastian scribbles another note.

“Can I move now?” You ask with hopeful eyes.

“Too late,” Sebastian says, “the dragon is already preparing its next attack. It bares its teeth, retracting its neck and eyes up Rancher as its next target.”

“Uh oh. I want to move in front of Rancher, waving my arms and trying to get its attention on me instead,” Sam chimes in.

“Go ahead,” Sebastian nods to the map on the centre of the table.

Sam moves his miniature on the grid in front of your character. “So I'll split my movement, stopping here first to do a bonus action. I'll yell at the dragon ‘HEY! I'm the tastiest snack in this cave, feast your eyes on THIS!’ And then turn my ass towards it, waving it in its face.”

You and Sebastian laugh. Sam is so much fun to role play with.

“Alright, the dragon snarls and switches its target to Samwise.”

“Sweet! I'll move to draw its attention away from Rancher,” Sam starts to move his miniature again, but you interrupt him.

“Oooh! I have an idea, don't go too far away from me. Try to bait it so its face will come within range of my light spell,” you say excitedly.

“I like the way you think, Farmer. I mean, Rancher. I'll move here, bracing myself to dodge its attack,” Sam moves his figure a few spaces away from yours, leaving a small window for the dragon to attack.

“Alright, Rancher’s next in initiative, but I assume you'll hold off until after the dragon goes?” Sebastian looks up at you, and you nod to confirm. “Okay. The dragon isn't quite ready for another fire breath, so it's going to attack Samwise with a bite,” Sebastian rolls a die, “you'll need to beat 17 with agility to successfully dodge it.”

You inhale through your teeth, glancing at Sam nervously.

“Come on, come on,” Sam shakes his dice extra long in his fists for good measure. You cross your fingers as he rolls it. “YES! 19, almost perfect.”

“Yess!” You high five Sam.

“Nice. Samwise expertly dodge-rolls the dragon's attack, its teeth snapping shut between you both,” Sebastian looks to you for your next move.

“Right, now that the dragon is in range, I want to use my light spell to flash in its eyes to try and blind it!” You say enthusiastically, and Sebastian motions you to roll your die. “Oh right! Oh SHIT!” You rolled a 2.

“Noo,” Sam groans. “Oh wait! You have advantage!”

“Oh yea!” You roll again, watching the dice with hopeful eyes. It lands on 18, a sure hit. “YES!” You and Sam both cheer.

“The dragon winces its eyes, crying in shock. It's completely stunned for the next round of combat, so Samwise, your next attack will hit as long as you don't roll a 1.”

“Don't jinx it like that!” Sam throws his die, “Okay, it's a 6.”

“Lucky break,” Sebastian grins, “go ahead and roll for damage.”

“Alright, my sword is a d12 plus 8. Moment of truth…” he shakes his dice, and you do a drumroll on the table. “WHOO! Max damage, I got 12!”

“No way, we might beat it right now!” You squeal.

“So that would be 12 plus 8, so 20, and since the dragon is paralyzed it's an automatic crit. You just did 40 damage,” Sebastian looks over his screen to your hopeful eyes, pausing for dramatic effect. “Samwise, you did it. Please describe your finishing blow.”

You both gasp with excitement, and Sam clears his throat. “Okay, okay. As the dragon starts to retract its head from the brightness, I grab onto one of its horns and draw my sword. As it shakes its head to get me off, I let go to get some air above it, and swing down with all my might, slicing its throat with my sword. I do a superhero landing on the ground as it falls, its head landing right in front of Rancher.”

You and Sebastian give him a round of applause, and he bows to you from his seat.

“I run up to Samwise, tackling him with a hug. ‘WE DID IT! Now let's loot the body,’” you say in character.

Sam and Sebastian laugh. It's been a running joke that you always try and collect everything from each corpse or chest you find.

“Well done, team! That's a wrap on act one. I wrote down a list of treasure you'll have for next time. Including anything you can take off the dragon’s corpse,” he winks at you. “How do we feel about that?”

“Great. That was so satisfying,” Sam says.

“Agreed! Though I always feel weird about the whole ‘slay the dragon’ trope. I'd rather make friends with the dragon and use it for fast travel,” you say with a twinkle in your eyes.

“If dragons could be farm animals, you'd find a way to get one,” Sam laughs.

“Only ONE!? I'd want one in every colour!”

The boys chuckle, and the three of you start to pack up. This has been super fun, but the campaign ran later than you’d have hoped. Even with the extra sessions last month, you still needed today to wrap it up.

“Thanks for playing, guys. I've wanted to do this for a long time,” Sebastian smiles warmly.

“Thanks for running the game for us! I know it's a lot of work,” you reply.

“Yea, thanks bud. And you too, Farmer. Having you to play with has been a blast,” Sam flashes you a toothy grin.

“Awe, thanks!”

“No pressure, but let us know when you think you can start this up again,” Sebastian looks at you, a bittersweet hopefulness in his eyes.

“I will, I promise. I want to play, but I'm just trying to be realistic. I'd rather not have to cancel or be too tired to give it my all,” you give them an apologetic smile.

“We totally understand. It'll be worth the wait!” Sam grins, standing and stretching his shoulders. “Do you guys wanna get pizza?”

You check the time before answering. “Well, considering you obliterated that dragon so quickly, yea I'm in!”

“Sweet. I'll text Abby to meet us there,” Sebastian pulls out his phone.

“Do you think she'd join us next time?” You ask.

“Maybe, depends on how busy her classes are this year. I know she's interested,” Sebastian says.

“Yea, it would be a blast with all four of us!” Sam grins, leading the way out the door eagerly.

[serenasoutherlyns]

i won't end up anywhere good (without you)

“The guitar suits you; you know. It just looks right in your hands.”

calex. mature. ao3. playlist.

If I'm a broken record, write it in the dust, babe I'll fill myself back up like I used to do And if my bones are made of delicate sugar I won't end up anywhere good without you

After the show, it was beers in the basement, after beers in the basement it was smoking outside in the warm June weather. After smoking she pulled out her acoustic guitar and covered Rihanna songs to make everyone else laugh. Olivia always turned in first, Amanda second, and Rafael and Casey would stay up until dawn before caving and falling asleep on the floor, the only space left. They’d wake up with pounding hangovers and load into the van again and do it all over in a new town. They were somewhere in Massachusetts; Casey couldn’t keep track anymore.

Olivia motioned for the bong over breakfast. Casey passed it, coughing into her cup of coffee. Amanda patted her back. Rafael was in the kitchen finishing the mountain of pancakes and bacon he was making for everyone in the house, the number of which seemed uncountable. The first of them to wake emerged from a bedroom in shorts and a tight tank, her eyes half-closed. She gave everyone a wave before disappearing into the bathroom.

“Ugh,” she said when she reappeared, sitting down at the crowded table, “I need food, right now.”

“Raf, ETA on pancakes?” Said Amanda.

“Gimme three,” he shouted over the hood fan.

“Thank God,” said the blonde woman beside Olivia.

“Big night?” Asked Casey playfully. The woman nodded.

“There was a show, went late, the afterparty went later. Too much whisky.”

“That’s all?” Said Amanda.

“Coke, but not that much,” she said. “Can I?” she asked, motioning for the bong.

‘Of course,” said Olivia, handing it to her. The woman turned her head back as she exhaled, politely blowing the smoke away from the rest of them. Raf came into the dining room with a towering stack. The woman’s eyes widened, and she immediately dug in like a cat with a fresh bowl.

“Hungry?” Said Raf, laughing. The woman nodded. Raf went back to cooking.

“This is so fucking good,” she said. “Ugh I have terrible manners, I’m Alex.”

“Olivia, nice to meet you.” The rest of them made their introductions. Alex Casey rolled around in her head. She liked the sound of that.

“I have to go to work in like half an hour,” Alex groaned.

“Oof,” said Amanda, “I don’t miss that. What do you do?”

“I’m a barista.”

“Do you play?” Asked Casey.

“I just live here,” said Alex. “Can’t play an instrument to save my life.” Casey nodded, taking a bite of her bacon. Another door opened and Rita came out, that was who had invited them, Casey remembered, the bass player. Rita gave them a nod. They heard the unmistakable sound of vomit from the bathroom and all cringed in sympathy.

“Poor thing,” said Amanda, drawling.

“Hey,” said Rita when she came out.

“Hey,” chorused the rest of them. Rita poured herself a cup of coffee from the Chemex. Casey imagined Alex must’ve insisted on a nice set up.

“I’d better go change,” said Alex, rising from the table. They filled the air with idle conversation. When she came back out, she had on a baggy pair of men’s Levi’s and a loose white t-shirt, her hair was up in a high ponytail. Casey noticed the green lower half of her hair. She had swiped on some black and white eyeliner and plum lipstick. She slung her arms around Rita’s shoulders. She grabbed her bag off a hook in the living room and said her goodbyes as she left for work.

“See you guys tonight,” she said. “Can’t wait to see what you’ve got in store for us.”

“See you,” said Casey for the rest of the table. Olivia had begun to gather the dishes and Amanda was washing them. Raf took his opportunity to finally eat. Another roommate, and then another, and another (significantly more people than there were bedrooms) came out over the course of the next couple hours and were disappointed that the pancakes were gone. You snooze you lose, was Rafael’s reply. He knew more of them than the rest of them did. Raf had been in bands since he was thirteen.

“I saw you checking out Alex,” Rita said, cornering Casey at around three o’clock. She was sitting on the couch reading a novel.

“Did you?” Said Casey, who was unaware she had been doing such a thing.

“Yeah,” said Rita. “You’re her type, you should go for it.” Hm thought Casey. She did like to build memories in each town they visited. Eventually, though, they started to blend together, and all she would remember was girl with all the rings or undercut girl.

“Maybe,” said Casey.

“Anyway, I’m going to The Olive,” Rita said, “Alex’s boss gives us free drip. Want some?”

“Actually,” said Casey, setting aside her novel, “Can I come with?”

“Sure,” said Rita with a smile. “She’s fun to watch in action.”

“They always are,” said Casey. She grabbed her wallet and followed Rita out.

---

“Casey, hey, welcome,” said Alex from behind the bar. It was a busy Saturday, but not too busy. The place was full but there wasn’t a line. Casey watched as Alex effortlessly took an order while finishing up another one, like it was nothing. Pleasant indie pop played over the speakers, not entirely unlike what Hands in the Middle played, though they had more of a punk edge. Casey looked forward to their show that night.

“Hey,” Casey replied. Alex was filling up two twelve-ounce cups of drip coffee for them. She gave them a happy look. “Good to see you. You want room?”

“Black’s fine, thanks.” Alex handed them the cups. They could afford to chat for a little while. Rita, somewhat pointedly, went to the bathroom, leaving the two of them alone. “How’s it been today?” Alex bit her lip and looked into Casey’s eyes. She was being pursued. She liked that feeling.

“Oh, fine,” she said, “The lunch rush was kind of crazy.” She gestured to an untidy workstation behind her.

“Saturday,” Casey said.

“Looking forward to tonight?” Alex said. Casey didn’t miss what she meant. “I’m excited to see you guys play.”

“Yeah, I am,” said Casey, “very.” Alex’s coworker gestured behind Casey, and there was someone waiting. Rita came back from the bathroom.

“See you, Alex,” said Casey as they left. Alex gave her a large smile and wave in return.

---

“We sound like shit,” said Raf to Olivia. Something was off about the acoustics in the space, but there was nothing to be done about it, and no use in complaining, in Casey’s opinion, which she was sure Rafael knew. Casey played a few bars of their newest song.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Raf,” she said. Amanda made a noise in agreement. The residents of the house were milling about, eating, smoking, drinking, playing cards. Casey liked this kind of show, one where people actually lived. It was so personal and comfortable. They eventually got Rafael to calm down and just play. It was a good show, all things considered. Maybe they didn’t sound their best, but Casey was sure they didn’t sound their worst either. The crowd seemed to have enjoyed themselves. Now, everyone was gathered in the living and dining rooms with beers and weed, just how it should be. Alex found her right after the show and sat down next to her. Olivia and Amanda found some corner to pretend not to be into each other in (messy), and Rafael was passionately discussing cartoons with Rita at the dining table. Alex had her hand on Casey’s thigh, now, and Casey knew it was only a matter of time before they were going to be making out on this couch. She set down her beer.

“You really were great,” said Alex, flattering her. “The guitar suits you; you know. It just looks right in your hands.”

“Looking at my hands, were you?” said Casey, teasing.

“A little, maybe,” said Alex with a giggle. Casey was just high enough to be a little silly. Alex must’ve been too. Casey took Alex’s hand in her own.

“Look all you like,” she said in a deep voice. Alex kissed her, then, cupping her cheek and leaning in. Before long, she was in Casey’s lap and Casey’s hands were roaming her back, playing with her hair. Alex whipped her head back when a can collided with it.

“Get a room,” yelled Raf. Alex looked at Casey and shrugged in invitation.

“Sure,” said Casey. Alex hopped up and guided her into her bedroom. There were two beds in there, but nobody else in either. Alex got on the bed and lay back. Casey took one hand in hers and used the other to prop herself up as she kissed her lips, then her neck, making her gasp and moan.

---

It was nice to sleep in a real bed for once. Casey woke up feeling more rested than usual that Sunday morning. It was a good thing, too, because they had a really long driving day ahead of them. She could smell Rafael cooking, which meant it couldn’t be that late (well, someone would’ve woken her up if it was dire). Alex was already awake, it seemed, because she was alone in the bed. Casey dragged herself up and into the kitchen.

“Morning, Casey,” said Rita, “Alex had to head into work early, she sends her apologies. Fun night?” Casey grinned.

“Yep,” she said. Amanda gave her a high five. Breakfast was served, and thoroughly enjoyed. They loaded their things into the van and set off. That had been a good stop, in Casey’s opinion. It was on to the next.