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#i miss fyreuk so much
gayforbadboyhalo · 4 years
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fyreuk my beloved
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syndianites · 4 years
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The After; The Athar: Chapter One
Chapter 1/?
Chapter 1 [Here] - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5
AO3: This Chapter - Full Fic
Summary: Post Season 2, non-Mianitian Compliant. The crew finally land back into the world after the events of Ruxomar. That should be a good thing, right? But Wag is feeling the burden of everything that has happened to him, and he didn’t even get his magic back to boot.
It’s hard to be happy when life has been so shitty.
Relationships: Sparklington (end-game), Marthlington (temporarily), Sparkanite (Spark x Ianite) (past, mentioned), Motanite
Content Warnings: Death Mentions, Implied Depression, Implied PTSD, Self-Deprecation, Breaking up a Relationship (Marthlington)
AN: I’ve been working on this since September? of 2019! I have 5 chapters done and still going. I wanted to wait to post this until I was done with it, but my impatience has gotten the better of me.
@the-moon-pal I’m coming for your crown king >:)
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They’d made it home a couple weeks ago, to the land of Mianite. It’d been such a relief. They got to meet the rest of the alts, got to watch Dianite meet the other gods- and cringe at the tension that crackled between them- got to find all their homes again. For once, in the past-however-long, there was peace. They could relax.
So why did Wag feel like utter shit?
Right. Because he literally got the worst part of the deal.
He thought his powers would come back when they got home. And they did, for a few hours. Not the full range, but a lot of it. It felt good to be full of magic again. It felt like he was himself.
But then things started to fall apart. Martha grew distant. His powers fell away in fits and bursts. He realized that the rest of FyreUK had moved on after they made amends in Ruxomar. They found their way on. Without him.
Nothing was the same, he realized, as he spent more time around the place they had called ‘home.’
Spark had done what he did best: built a city. Well, more like a village. What had once been a place of buildings thrown about at random and mostly open plains was now sparsely populated. Neatly arranged shops and a few houses took up the space next to the beach. New people had even begun to show up.
Everything was changing around him, yet he was stuck holding onto the past. Holding onto his wizardhood, to his brotherhood, to a partner that was farther now than ever, and- worst of all- he was still holding onto the hope that everything would just… go back. To how it was.
To when he was important.
Well, like fuck is he was going to sit around and loathe his existence. He could at least try to do something. Swear to Athar, he wasn’t going to turn into a lump of depression just because he couldn’t handle change! He’d rather be a walking mass of depression! That way he could at least pretend he was being productive.
Potions or spellbooks? A question as old as time. Potions were a staple in his life. If there was one thing that would never leave him, it was his ability to make fucking potions. Like, fucking make potions. Not potions to help people fuck. On the other hand, the more he poured through spellbooks, the more likely he was to get closer to finding out how to get his powers back.
Maybe his powers left when FyreUK left, taking all the glory of Athar with it. But that was too terrible of a thought, so that got chucked in the ‘not-today-bitch’ bin. Which was a handy dandy mental bin that stored all of his worst problems.
He never could fit himself in it, though.
So potions it was.
Now that he was out of the business of magic, most of his money came from his potion making. He had made yet another little wizard- alchemist? Potion master?- tower. Plopped some advertisements in el Pueblo de Spark and took orders to pass the time. He had to fund his botany experiments somehow.  Someone had to introduce weed into this world, that might as well be him.
If he was going down in history for something, that wasn’t ‘Word Renowned Wizard Extraordinaire’, then ‘The Guy who Made Weed’ would sure as hell work. 
Wag pulled up his log of orders. Luck, luck, dexterity, healing, luck, love- yeah, those didn’t really work but he’d make it anyways-, strength, luck, yadda, yadda, yadda. Lots of luck. He could probably get away with making a batch or two of luck potions, then work through the rest.
He spared a glance outside. Spark’s little hut-square town was beginning to develop into a pleasant little fishing hole. Surprisingly- or not, given how deep the waters were nearby- the place was actually a fairly hot place for single fish to mingle. Warm waters, nice and deep, lots of cover, and not much human interference. Until now, anyway.
Either the fishermen were starting to get a fair amount of revenue going or they really needed help. Luck potions were among his most expensive. The ingredients were hard to acquire regardless of how you made it.
Rabbit’s foot? Morally and physically hard to get a hold of. Rainbow trout? Terribly rare. ‘Star-light Fruit’? Not even confirmed to exist.
His method was a little more straightforward. A butt load of four-leaf clovers, a tiny bit of alcohol, and a fuckton of glitter. Clovers for the magic, glitter for the look, and alcohol for the feeling of being lucky.
It was a very bullshit potion.
It took forever to find the clovers, let alone collect them.
Athar give him strength.
Giving one last look outside, he tucked his log book in his cloak. Then he went and rummaged through his chests.
Monotony here he comes.
~~~
Wag was halfway through his second batch of luck potions when a distant knock came from his door, followed by the sound of bells. If not for the bells he’d have ignored the knocking. With a stretch, he putzed down the stairs. The many flights of stairs.
He missed being able to make elevators.
Opening the door revealed one Mr. Sparklez, hair tousled but otherwise neatly groomed. He was relaxed, if not a little winded from his trek up the hill Wag claimed as his own.
Wag smiled. “Hey Sparklez, what brings you up to my tower of terror today? Here for a chat or a swanky danky potion?”
He gestured for Jordan to head inside and get comfortable, but the man waved him off. “Actually,” Jordan started, “I was wondering if you’d seen Martha? I needed to ask her something and I haven’t seen her all day. Figured she’d be with you.”
Ah, so Jordan wanted to find Martha.
Ouch.
Doing his best to ignore the squeeze in his chest, Wag kept his smile firmly in place. “No, I don’t think I have. She, uh.” He paused, going for a nonchalant shrug. “She doesn’t come around the tower all that often. I’d ask Spark instead. She tends to hang around him more. Her good ole pops and all, y’know. They do have a lot to catch up on.” Wag tried to ignore how weak his words sounded. He didn’t want it to sound weird that Martha wouldn’t come around, but instead he just sounded pathetic.
Great.
Jordan gave Wag an awkward smile, seemingly uncomfortable with the sad display. “Ah, alright. I’ll ask around for Spark.” 
He turned to leave but caught himself before he was fully turned away. Jordan chewed on his words. “Are you-” His eyes swept over Wag. “How have you been? We don’t see you as much anymore. Other than Tom, I guess, but it's hard to get rid of Tom once he decides you’re friends, y’know?”
“I’ve been,” Wag wanted to laugh, but pushed through the sentence, “swell, thank you. I would get out more, but I’m always so busy potion making. Gotta pay the bills somehow.” The words tasted bitter on his tongue. It wasn’t the exact truth, but he did spend a lot of time on potions.
Letting his shoulders settle, Jordan gave a small laugh. “Who would press a wizard to pay bills? Someone who wants to catch on fire, I’m sure.” He opted for a friendly smile. “If you ever want to hang out or something, let me know. I’ve been getting kind of bored between Spark telling me how to be a better champion of Ianite and living in an actual, peaceful society.”
Wag waved after Jordan as he began his descent. Yeah, a wizard. A frown tugged at his face while he shut the door.
A real fucking wizard.
~~~
Making potions was rather methodical. Each step took a certain amount of time, each item had certain effects, meshed certain ways with other items. It was like following a recipe, but with bigger consequences for messing up. Cooler results, though.
Wag had just finished melting down the clovers he’d gathered and extracting the essence- which is to say he lit it on fire after sprinkling a generous amount of blaze powder on it- when Jordan had stopped by. Which was convenient, since he needed to wait for the weird half-liquid half-slime to cool off enough to move it. The awkward potions, glitter, and alcohol were already prepped. Now all he needed to do was mix shit together.
Oh joy.
At the very least, it was satisfying to roll the clover essence into little balls to plop into an awkward potion and then watch them dissolve. The clover gave the essence a natural, healthy green color while the blaze powder, which clung to even the most thoroughly washed slime, gave it something of a yellow highlight. Golden glitter gets dumped in to make it feel like you were about to drink something special. Yes, the glitter was edible. No, most people didn’t realize he put glitter in this shit. Then the alcohol was for that background buzz. It was meant to dull the senses just enough to trick people into believing, wholeheartedly, in whatever god-forsaken abomination he just made.
Sorry. What ever divinely crafted, totally safe potion he’d just made.
Sure, he didn’t test it himself, but it seemed to work well enough for the people he gave it to. So where was the harm?
It was fine.
The next part was perhaps the most boring. And he’d spent all day yesterday crawling on the ground looking for four-leaf clovers.
Tagging and packaging. Writing names on slips of paper, tying them to the potion, putting it in a small, padded box to prevent any breaks. Rinse, repeat. It was annoying, wasted money, all that jazz, but it helped the look. Who wants to be handed a regular old potion, by hand, when you can get it in some majestic looking box to really add some sparkle to your magic?
Maybe Ruxomar rubbed off on him in a bad way.
In any case, the look was important, and by Athar was he going to make it look fucking fantastic.
Unfortunately, this task was also terribly, horribly monotonous. Worse yet, it left room for thinking. And thinking was Wag’s least favorite pastime since floating in the Void. Especially since floating in the Void.
It lead to him thinking deeply about himself and Athar knows that most of his life problems could be traced right back to that. His mistakes, his fuck ups, his shortcomings, all of it came back to him thinking way too hard about himself. 
Gross.
Instead, he tried to run over potion recipes in his mind. Or any recipe, really. All the different ways to make a fire resistance potion when you don’t have magma cream. Counting how many potions used lemongrass. Figuring out what potions would make it more likely to catch fish. Literally anything. As long as it was potions, it was fine.
Not about himself, not about Athar, not about wizards, and not about… Martha.
Yeah, that last one would be a one hit k-o. 
But now that his mind had touched on the subject, it dug in. Sunk it's claws into the delicate stability of his mind. Dramatic, he knows, but that’s how it felt. It was like the more he tried to get the thought out of his mind, the further it burrowed into him. Awful, painful, and not even worth the effort.
Martha… clearly didn’t care about him anymore. Or, well. He winced at the thought. She didn’t love him like she used to. If she, uh. Did in the first place. But this was old news. This was something he pondered after she seemed to avoid him like the plague, seemed to grimace when she looked over and saw him and not him.
Steve.
The name sat heavy in his head. They hadn’t meshed well, ‘specially where Martha was concerned. But they managed, for her, because they loved her.
Wag felt guilty, looking back on it now. For stealing their time together, for messing with their relationship. They hadn’t gotten to be together enough, had lost too much time before-
Yeah, he didn’t like thinking about Steve more than he didn’t like thinking about Martha. Wag didn’t feel like he deserved to think the name, let alone put himself up against his image. Steve was a hero. He rebelled against Helgrind in a cunning, intelligent way, he was selfless in more aspects than any of the heroes that appeared in Ruxomar, and he was the one to sacrifice the most. To sacrifice it all.
Where did Wag stand against that?
Honestly, it was no wonder Martha couldn’t stand to look at him. He was just a reminder of Steve, a reminder that she didn’t have Steve. That she had him instead. 
Had she ever loved him?
That wasn’t the point. The point was that Martha was hurting, trying to pick up the pieces of what she left behind in Ruxomar. What she had lost. And Wag wasn’t doing anything to help. He was stuck up in his tower, making potions, trying to forget about everything that he wasn’t.
He should try to look for her.
But the last time he did, he got turned away. She was “catching up with her father.” She was “busy settling into the new world.” She was “trying to get a grip on her new goddesshood.”
Wag was persistent, but even he could get the hint.
By Athar, he got the hint. “I don’t want to see you.” “Don’t come near me.” “You can’t help me.” 
He wondered if Spark was doing anything to help her or if he was also caught up in everything that had happened. From what he had learned about the man in Ruxomar, he was devoted to his wife. No, he gave everything for his wife. Learning she was dead after working up everything to see her again?
He had played it well. When he heard the news, Spark kept strong, only letting his tears show. If he had gone home later after parting with Martha, who had her own grief and guilt, crumbling on the inside no one would know. And if he had locked himself away and let everything loose, let himself break, none would be the wiser. But they could guess, they could give him a passing glance, a thoughtful frown.
Wag wondered if he still carried that grief around with him.
Spark had taken to trying to discipline Jordan to be a better champion of Ianite. It had made the man uncomfortable with getting told he could be a better follower and all. Or rather, having it implied that he wasn’t the best follower. Spark was stubborn in ‘training’ the champion of Ianite to be a full fledged follower.
Still, Jordan didn’t appreciate the sentiment.
Wag understood. Having the husband of the very goddess you watched die get on your case about being a better follower? When the crushing weight of guilt hadn’t fully let off your shoulders? He wondered if Spark hadn’t taken to coaching Jordan to make himself feel better, to remind himself that he would have kept Ianite safe, that he would have fixed the world before it broke out from under them.
It sounded like torture.
But it helped settle Wag. Call him selfish, but he felt better knowing other people had real problems, real grief, to deal with. Sure, Wag had his hang up with Martha. Yeah, he had his issues with being-a-wizard-yet-not. But he wasn’t as close to neck deep as Spark was. Like Martha was.
He wished belittling his problems made them feel less suffocating.
Martha. Martha was still pushing him away. And he was letting her. What did that say about him? About their relationship?
A sigh heaved out of his chest. It was like someone stuck a large rock right in his rib cage, tucked neatly between his lungs. Hard, heavy, and an all around burden. Potions. He needed to think about potions.
His hands betrayed him with a subtle shake. How many names did he have left to write? How many boxes did he have left to pack? Fuck if he knew. He had to keep counting, to find a way to wrap up all his issues, his panic, his fear, into a nice little package and tuck it away like a forgotten gift.
Athar help me, Wag tried to control his thoughts, I might drive myself insane by the end of the year.
As if on cue, another knock at his door broke his thoughts. He tried not to feel relieved to rush away from his potion packaging. He was fine, cool as a cucumber.
Throwing open the door, he came face to face with his second visitor of the day. Tom.
Tom was standing in front of his door almost uncertainly, like he wasn’t quite sure why or how he got there. He took one sweep over Wag’s unhidden face and a determined, focus look set in on his own.
“We,” Tom looped his arm around Wag’s in a sudden movement, “are going out somewhere. No if’s, and’s, or but’s.” 
Eyebrows shooting up, Wag let himself be dragged from his house with an aborted motion to close the door behind him. He mournfully watched his door stay ajar. Hopefully no one else ventured up the hill today, otherwise he might be down a few potions.
“Why?” Wag turned his attention back to Tom, who was resolute in his intention of pulling Wag away to Athar knows where.
A grin was shot in his direction. “You look like you need to get out of the house. Also, I’m real fuckin’ bored and you’re clearly in need of some company.”
A wry smile snuck on Wag’s face. “Oh lucky me. We should get some tea, live up to our trademark.”
Tom nodded. “Absolutely. Let’s hit town. Fuck it up. Flaunt our hero-ness and get shit faced.”
“Let’s not get shit faced, and especially not get kicked out of town for making a ruckus.” Wag fondly rolled his eyes. “I do quite like living here and it’d be a shame to have to follow you around to make sure you don’t die.”
Tom gave a mocked offended gasp, free hand coming up to his forehead as he leaned away. “How dare you! I’ll have you know I’d never die if I didn’t live in a community. I’m a rogue, don’t you know.” He sniffed. “I can easily hold my own in the dangerous wilds.”
“Without anyone to pester and annoy?”
“I can pester anything!”
Wag bit his lip to stop a laugh. Tom always brought such energy with him. It was refreshing. Maybe he was right, he just needed some company.
He wouldn’t say that to his face, though.
“I suppose so,” Wag continued, “You are rather persistent. I bet you could annoy the sun into setting early.”
“Nah, I’d blow that fucker up instead.” Tom winked, snuggled back up to Wag, effectively trapping his arm. “I still think we should get shit faced. Drink our sorrows into the drain, throw them up another day.” 
Wag mock gagged. “I’d rather keep them down the drain, thank you. Besides, what a waste of alcohol. If I’m drinking, I’m drinking to keep it down. Not!” He quickly cut Tom off, “That I want to go out drinking.” He eyed the sky, giving a disapproving look to Tom when he saw that it was still early afternoon. “No one should be getting drunk before the sun touches the horizon.”
With a pout, Tom leaned into Wag’s side. “Lame. I suppose,” he drew out the word, “we could go get some good old fashioned tea. Call it a pre-game without the game.”
Wag rolled his eyes. He wasn’t looking to out game his issues. That wasn’t a solution. It’d just make him turn into a sad drunk and give him a headache in the morning.
This is why he needed weed back.
But also, he didn’t want to develop another problem. Gotta keep it clean. For now.
Tom still had his own plans, alcohol or no alcohol. “I find when I’m feeling down that doing something batshit stupid makes me feel better. We should go fishing with our bare hands- no, with only our teeth- and no shirt on. Attract ladies and gents to us alike. Are they looking at our finely chiseled chests or our daring courage? Who’s to say.”
“You are far from chiseled my friend. Try soft.” Wag poked Tom in the stomach jokingly. “And who said that I’m feeling down?”
“Hey!” Tom swatted his hand away. “I’ll have you know I’m more ripped than you’ll ever be!” He huffed, squeezing Wag’s arm. They walked in silence for a moment, now upon the town. After wandering the street for a second, Tom spoke again, quieter. “I had this feeling.” Wag eyes him. “It was weird. My gut was telling me to check in on you. And then when you opened the door it was written on your face. Even I’m not dumb enough to miss that.” 
Wag heard the unspoken I was worried carried in Tom’s words. Talk about soft. He squeezed Tom’s arm back. “Oh wow, a gut feeling?” He teased lightly, “I think it was just you missing my magical presence. It is hard to go too long without seeing me.” If only that were true. “But I’m here now, and we can go do something absolutely stupid, just for you.”
They share a smile, a quiet thank you floating between them.
Tom gets a glint in his eyes. “Does this mean we can go catch fish with our bare hands?”
“I suppose so.” Wag drawled. “How else are we going to show off our toned figures?”
That got him a laugh, one concerningly maniacal, and he was dragged between houses.
Yeah, he might regret this.
Tom turned and gave him a smile that was all teeth and no common sense. He paused next to the shore, a little ways off from the docks. Shucking his clothes, one Tom Syndicate stood proudly in his underwear, unconcerned about the effect of sunlight on zombified skin. People gave them a look of distaste.
Oh, he was definitely going to regret this. 
~~~
Soggy was one way to describe how Wag felt. Wet as shit was another. All in all, he was rather pleased with himself and the rather large, shiny fish sitting in his lap. The fish which so happened to be a fair amount larger than Tom’s.
“Oh fuck you.” Tom spluttered around a mouthful of fish, laying down an arm’s length away. He had gathered quite an amount of fish, a solid number for catching something with your mouth alone. None of them were that large. In fact, most were an average, if not slightly below, size.
Wag eyed the pile smugly. He may have only caught two, but damn if he didn’t go big.
“Well, it seems that I’ve caught myself a winner.” He tried not to look too pleased. The look on Tom’s face told him he failed.
Tom scoffed, letting the fish fall to the sandy floor with a wet fwop. “You got lucky! Clearly, quantity wins the game here. Sure, you caught one big, old, dumb motherfucker, but I caught a dozen other dumbass fish! I should get the win.”
“Wasn’t size the goal here?” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, I think you do.”
Before Tom could fire back, a voice from behind interrupted him. “I think the two fools sitting in their underwear soaked to the bone are both losers.”
Wag tilted his head back to see Tucker standing with his hands in his pockets, back slouched, and an easy smile on his face, standing just where the sand turned to grass. Next to him was one lovely fox lady, Sonja herself, and one Sparkle butt, Jordan.
Nice to see the gang all here.
Tom sat up. “How dare you! I’ll have you know we are the best fishers on the island!”
Tucker raised a single eyebrow. “Really now? Are all the other fishers out at sea today?”
“Well excuse you, Mr. Boner. I’ll have you know we caught all of this,” Tom sweeps his arm across their score. “And I think that’s quite the haul.”
“How long did it take you?”
“Fuck you.”
Tucker snickered, moving closer to poke his foot into Tom’s side. “That’s what I thought.”
Wag, meanwhile, was carefully moving his prize to the side so he could stand up. Brushing the sand off himself, he exchanged a smile with Sonja and a nod with Jordan. Sonja gave him a good natured headshake. “And here I thought you were smarter than this.”
Jordan’s eyes trailed down Wag’s chest before flittering away. “Right down to your boxers? Tom must have gotten you good.”
“Well, I was fairly set on getting a nice cup of tea and walking across the beach, hand in hand like real lovers, but Tom was far more intent to go all macho and catch fish with his mouth alone.” Wag leaned in with a hand against his mouth to give a stage whisper. “Between you and me, I think he’s trying to step up his oral game.” He winked.
Jordan groaned, giving Wag what he thought to be a rather dramatic eye roll. That wasn’t even the worst he had to offer, and he’d given him such an easy setup! Sonja waggled her eyebrows and giggled when Tom butted in. “It’ll never be as good as yours dear.” He batted his eyelashes mock innocently.
The group burst into laughter. Tucker stepped closer, swinging an arm around his vaguely damp shoulders. “Hey, it’s nice to see you out and about man. It’s been a hot second. Almost thought you’d drank the wrong potion and kicked it or something.” 
Wag nodded seriously. “Quite the real possibility. Why, just yesterday I almost drank real glitter! The kind you’re not supposed to eat.”
“Been there,” Sonja added, “I thought I was going to die when I did. Just gave me a very colorful trip to the bathroom.”
Tom grinned as he moved to elbow Jordan in the side. “I bet our good ole Captain here wouldn’t know the difference. How else did he get his namesake, right Mr. Sparkley Butt?”
“Hardy har,” Jordan gave Tom a fondly disgusted look. “The name’s Captain Sparklez, that ‘namesake’ came from you giving me a stupid nickname.”
They fell into more chatter, giving Tom and Wag the time to put their clothes back on, Tom not caring that he was still wet as he put his suit back on, while Wag just slung his cloak over himself. No point in putting pants on over wet underwear.
The group, all now clothed to some extent, began to wander back towards town. Wag was more than content to listen to Tom ramble on. He would get interrupted by Tucker when he said something ‘incredibly stupid’ and, more rarely, by Jordan, who would correct some technical thing that Tom clearly did not give a shit about.
Sonja drifted next to him, giving Wag a conspiratorial smile. “You’re looking mighty fine in just a robe and boxers. Is this the bedroom Wag special? Or is that sans boxers?” 
“The bedroom Wag special is whatever you want it to be.” He winked. “It’s magic all around.”
They exchanged a laugh, falling silent again.
Wag knew that wasn’t what Sonja really wanted to talk about.
She looked back at him, a warm look in her eyes. “It’s nice. To see you out. Been a while, y’know?” Sonja stretched her arms out in front of her. “It really has been a bit since we’ve talked. And since you’ve left the house. But honestly?” Her tail swishes behind her. “I could have made a few more treks up that damn mountain myself.”
Shaking his head, Wag elbowed her side lightly. “It is a fairly tall hill, but I think mountain is a bit of an overstatement.” It was, in fact, a bitch of a climb, but Wag didn’t think it was that bad. He’d put the tower just on the other side of the Glowstone Forest, across from the Priest’s house. (What was it called again? Forest of the Void? Abyss Forest? Obsidian Trees? Yeah, he didn’t know or care). 
Left unsaid was a ‘That’s okay, you don’t have to go out of your way’.
He received an eye roll. “Please, the only trek worse than that is up to where Tucker’s first house was. I was so happy when we moved it down the mountain. Well, into.”
It’s no trouble, her words left hanging, I don’t mind.
Wag huffed. How dare she be considerate. “You know what’s worse than a trek up a mountain? A trek up a mountain to get some rare flower, only to be spited by the universe and have not a single flower growing up there. Honestly, I could use some help from someone so used to climbing mountains.” A smirk pulled at his face. “Or maybe just send someone up there for me.”
We could always hang out when I’m playing master botanist. If you’d like.
Sonja smiled at him, but couldn’t resist getting a dig in. “Aw, did you skip leg day? Have some chicken legs over there? That’s alright, I’m sure someone,” she tilts her head, eyes sweeping past the buildings around them, “would be willing. Get a nice little lackey so you can rest your old bones at home and complain about how the cold makes your joints stiff.” 
“How dare you,” Wag sniffed, hand held up to his heart. “I’ll have you know, my joints are just fine in the cold! Some of us just aren’t made of the cold, little miss fox.”
Sonja, ever so mature, stuck her tongue out at him.
They kept up some conversation, occasionally stopping to listen in to whatever Tom was saying. Wag, for a moment, realized that he had missed this. Missed them. That even though he wanted to avoid all the new things in this world, he’d always have his friends.
A quiet, hopeless voice asked if they’d leave him too.
~~~
There was nothing quite like hiking up a hill, in only your boxers, a little buzzed, during the night time. The pure amount of skeletons that had sniffed around looking for a cheap shot alone was bad enough, but the fact that his legs already hurt from struggling to fish with just his mouth without drowning? Yeah, it felt more like he was climbing up a mountain that was near vertical.
Fuck gravity.
A pit of warmth had settled in his chest a couple hours ago. Whether it was the alcohol that Tucker, of all people, had got the group into drinking or just the effect of being with friends for a while, Wag felt content. Not a common feeling in recent times. It was nice.
Really nice.
Upon reaching his door, his mind scrambled to figure out why it was left slightly open. He shrugged. As long as nothing was missing or stolen, he didn’t really care.
He made his way inside- making sure to actually close the door behind him- and wandered over to the stairs. Ah, his mortal enemy. Between being a wizard way back when and the magic rampant in Ruxomar, he had gotten way too used to avoiding stairs. Now it was a chore to move up and down the tower. But his bed was upstairs and he was not sleeping on the crappy couch he shoved into the lobby for guests or customers again.
So stairs it was.
By the time he got halfway up the stairs, he wanted to quit. Why, in Athar’s name, did he put his room on the third highest level? Stupidity, that’s why. The view was so not worth it.
When he actually made it up to the correct floor, he pushed the door to his room open, chucked his clothes to one side, and collapsed in bed. Now this, this was worth it. Soft, plush, warm, and very much without skeletons.
The less arrows being shot at him the better.
A soft chuckle caught his attention. Or rather, killed the peace he had wrapped around himself mere hours earlier.
He didn’t move. Not because he was scared. No, he knew who was in his room. He just wanted to pretend, for a moment, like this was something he was used to.
Like coming home to his lover being home wouldn’t surprise him.
The bed dipped beside him and his robed and boxer-ed glory. A hand ran through his hair. Wag tried not to tense.
“Seems like you had a good night out.” Her voice was like silk, soft and pleasant on his ears. “Hopefully they didn’t hassle you too much.”
Wag breathed. His chest was tight, emotion punching at his ribs. “Yeah,” he said, “It was nice to have some time with them again.”
All of this felt so forgein, now. To have her here. Was she here? Or did he drink more than he had originally thought. Shit.
Martha scratched his head. “I do have to say, I’m surprised that you actually left the tower. You’ve been holed up here for so long I thought I’d have to drag you out.” He could hear the smile in her voice. Or maybe he was imagining it. His head was a mess and he wasn’t quite sure what he was making up and what was real.
It was kind of pathetic.
He laughed. “Yeah, Tom showed up and dragged me out. Not complaining though, I had a lot of fun. It was nice to take off from work. Making potions gets boring.”
So did sitting in your own depressing thoughts, but that was more exhausting than boring.
“Oh,” Wag turned his head to face Martha, looking up at her. The darkness made her hair stand out. It looked like a halo around her face, bringing out her lovely lilac eyes. She was just as beautiful as the last time he’d seen her. But there was something heavy in her eyes that she tried to wipe away when his own reached her. “Jordan was looking for you earlier. Did he ever find you?”
Martha blinked and the heaviness was gone. Ish. He knew it was there. Somewhere.
“Ah, no.” She frowned. “I’ll have to see what he needs tomorrow.”
He nodded. To be honest, Wag wasn’t convinced Martha was actually sitting here with him. Which was kind of sad. Very sad.
“I can come with, if you’d like,” Wag rushed out, trying not to sound desperate. “We haven’t had much time together, which is understandable with your dad being around and all the stuff you need to do. And, y’know, it’d be nice to walk with you for a bit.”
Oh, he sounded so desperate.
Yikes.
A smile graced Martha’s lips. “Sure, I’d love that.” Wag let out a breath. “We’ll take a stroll, get a nice scenic view of the beach as we go, call it a date-” She cut off. The heaviness came back to her eyes. Wag knew what she was thinking. Who she was thinking about.
It hurt.
“I’m going to go take a shower before getting ready for bed. You can go ahead and sleep, if you’d like. I know you’ve had a long day and you’re probably tired. Don’t force yourself for me.” Martha stood as she said this, fingers trailing in his hair. Then she left.
Reluctantly, Wag got up to do just that. Changed his boxers and hung up his cloak. Buried himself back into bed, under the covers.
Yeah. It’d be a date.
~~~
Martha didn’t like to get up early. Neither did Wag. Normally, this lead to them sleepily cuddling until one felt so inspired as to get up. Normally.
Ever since the group returned to the land of Mianite, Martha didn’t sleep as well. Between nightmares, being a fledgling goddess, and the… absence of certain people, she found herself waking earlier and earlier.
Wag had his fair share of sleep troubles. Where sleep troubles stopped Martha from sleeping as much, it led to Wag sleeping more. The less he slept the more exhausted he was. The more exhausted he was the more he slept. It was a vicious cycle and actually the reason Wag didn’t leave the house as much.
Nonetheless, both found themselves getting ready to leave just after dawn. Martha moved like last night didn’t end awkward and uncomfortable. Bright, cheerful, and painfully affectionate with Wag. Like she hadn’t been avoiding him for the better part of their stay here.
The worst part was that this wasn’t the first time she came back like nothing was wrong. It was almost like she could tell when he was starting to doubt their relationship. Except, he was constantly doubting their relationship. Even when things had been going well. But this time, it was like she knew when he was thinking about how much of a relationship they didn’t have.
Which was concerning if she actually knew what he thought.
Wag, on the other hand, moved like a zombie. Tired, groggy, and barely awake. The picture of early morning beauty. It wasn’t far off from how he used to act, but now it was like someone had chained weights to his feet.
Damn, he was tired as shit.
Martha had set about making some breakfast from the little food he had. Some eggs, some- thankfully not spoiled- fruit, and milk. Wag was pretty sure he didn’t have milk, but he wasn’t going to question it. She was the more magical of the two, now, so it was within reason that she could get milk in the few minutes he’d lagged behind her in getting out of bed.
He, on the other hand, was on the task of making coffee. Coffee was something of a luxury here, since it was so new to the land. It wasn’t grown naturally on the island and Wag wasn’t sure if it was imported from some far off place or if it had been introduced by the earlier dimension hoppers that still hung around. Spark, for sure, seemed to run on the stuff.
That didn’t really matter to Wag, though. He had a plant of it in his garden, for ease of access, but more importantly to see if it could be used to help crossbreed weed into existence. No far off land had procured the plant yet, so he would still strive to be the maker of weed.
Not the best plan in the world, but that wouldn’t matter once he actually made the plant.
He really shouldn’t be encouraging substance abuse.
Surely, coffee would wake him up. Then he could go on a walk with Martha and do that thing they seemed to do where they avoided those topics and pretended like everything was fine. And maybe, just maybe, they’d enjoy the conversation. Maybe they’d feel something again, feel whole for the brief moment where they let themselves forget about the person who was missing, the person that clearly held more place in Martha’s heart for it to have torn so much when he-
Maybe Wag would get his shit together and let things die between them.
Maybe he’d decide that fighting an uphill battle wasn’t worth it.
For now, though, he was content to pretend things were the same. It was better than being entirely, wholly alone. And, deep in his heart, he still loved her. So, so much.
Enough that he knew it would hurt no matter what he did.
They chatted over the food Martha cooked. She complemented his coffee, the beans from the plant he owned, and he told her that the cooking is just as good as it’d always been.
Neither mentioned that it was usually Steve, not either of them, that did the cooking.
They tossed little affections at each other with ease. Like it was second nature. A brush of hands, a quick smile, a peck on the cheek. It was like a dance. As though they were trying to make a show of how much they still cared, how much nothing had changed despite the fact that everything had changed.
Hands loosely held together, they left the house as a unit, holding up a conversation with ease. If either of them tripped up in their speech as they avoided that topic or this word, neither called each other out for it. For all that everything was off and wrong, they made it work. They found a way to shove a cube into a round hole.
Whether it was because they wanted it to work so bad or because the hole was a giant chasm with space for miles was up to debate.
The beach was calm in the early morning. Fishers were stocking up their ships to start up on their daily trip, tightening a rope here, making space there. Few people walked about the town, the kids either asleep or getting hassled to eat breakfast. With so few people out, it felt like they were on the outskirts of life, just the two of them. Like viewing the world through a painting.
That illusion was helped by the sheer height of Jordan’s tree. It was still there, despite the damage it had received when Tom got to it. If he looked closely, Wag could see the remains of burn marks and grooves held in the thick bark. He had heard that, after the heroes had left, Ianite had nursed the tree back to life in honor of her lost champion.
He ignored the fact that Ianite had sent them into the void in the first place.
Wag himself had left before that, called on to help the heroes that he had watched over as a distant wizard. Even now, he wondered if it had been worth it. To lose everything because he was asked to. In his weakest moments, he wondered if it hadn’t been the gods’ way of throwing him out.
That thought hurt the most out of everything in his life and he never let it linger.
It wasn’t long before they made it to the base of the hill that Jordan’s tree- sorry, Jerry’s Tree- sat beside. They weren’t that close to getting inside yet, but it was a milestone.
As they climbed the hill, massive roots stretching out below them, Wag started up some conversation about the different species of trees. He never once mentioned apple trees. It was part of his botany, after all, and important to keep track of. The types of trees, not apple trees. Apple trees were just one of those topics and therefore something they made an unspoken agreement not to talk about.
He pondered, during his ramble, that Martha could have just flown up the tree. She could do that, after all. Wag couldn’t. Not anymore. The worst part was that he’d help build this tree, or, well, make it. Way back then. That was a sore spot to think about, but even still he was in awe of the tree. Not because of the fact that he's contributed to it- no, he had felt a sense of pride for that a long time ago. Rather, because of how it’d regrown.
Ianite’s gentle hand had turned it from merely a large, enchanting tree to a behemoth of divine wonder. Its branches had spread further, with more room between them and the tips reaching towards the heavens. The leaves had shaped up and gotten fuller, surely the size of a full-grown adult by now. Fireflies could be seen lazily hovering about clusters of leaves, giving the tree a pleasant, natural lighting.
Many more platforms and walkways had been built, new buildings having been added on top of that. They stretched from one end to the other. The most daring teased the edge of a branch, hung firmly along the length of it. The walkways were either long rope bridges made of braided vines that shimmered a faint purple or ramps made and reinforced by the same wood the tree was made of, the bottom featuring fancy swirls alongside the support beams.
Other vines, flora, and bushes lined the branches and platforms. Though they looked like they were leeching off the tree at first, a closer inspection- granted you were on the tree to get an inspection- showed they were delicately wrapped around the branches and sneakily planted in hidden pots for a more natural look. The flowers ranged from all sorts of purples- fitting. Buddleias enclosed doorways, Hyacinthus were wound along lanterns strung along pathways, and an abundance of Jacaranda could be found wherever space was made for flora.
The more he looked the more nature there was to see, the more connecting walkways there were strung along, the more everything there was. It felt like the whole world was home under the canopy.
The tree had gone from the house of a solitary man to a city of nature.
It didn’t feel like the same tree.
Wag pushed aside the nagging thought that it was better than anything he could have ever made. Ianite was a full fledged goddess, Wag was- had been- a mere wizard with the idea of godhood in his head. What he made had been incredible for mortal standards, and was still incredible for the standards he had held himself to. It would do no good to compare himself to Ianite, especially when all she had done was repair what was already there.
As they made their way up to the crest of the hill, following the path from the town to the tree as it curled around Jordan’s old home, Wag spared a glance at the birch and quartz house. It was simple, sleek and minimal. It suited Jordan. Of course, Jordan himself had made it, so why wouldn’t it?
Compared to Jerry’s Tree, though, it seemed rather dull and insignificant.
Actually.
Wag spared a closer look at the smaller home. It looked lived in. A frown pulled at his lips. Was someone living there? Who else, other than Jordan, would?
Martha had picked up the conversation now, adding in details about trees that she had seen in her travels long ago, ones he’d never have had the chance to see. There were many interesting species, some magical in the same sense as Silverwoods, some as plain as a simple oak tree, but all more than enough to satiate Wag’s desire to know more. His mind kept getting pulled back to the Casa de Sparklez, though.
A thought struck him, one he’d had just moments before.
Jerry’s Tree looked and felt so different, now that Ianite had tended to it. Like it was a different tree. Did Jordan think the same? Did it feel less like home, after being away for so long and having watched it burn?
Was Jordan living in his older house because the tree felt so forgein?
Martha was going on about a beautiful tree known for the lights its seeds shone, especially during the night hours. It really sounded like a sight to behold. More than that, the gentle, awed look on Martha’s face pulled at Wag’s heart.
Take care of her.
There was a sour taste in his mouth. Wag decided not to mention what he had just noticed. That was Jordan’s business, not his.
Martha was looking at him now, a small, shy smile on her lips. Wag felt like if he said the wrong thing it’d disappear in an instant. Like Martha was used to having her interests pushed aside, or used to pushing them aside herself when people didn’t seem to care about what she was saying.
Take care of her.
He offered a smile back, a genuine one. He really did love her. More than anything, he wanted to keep loving her. But something told him it wouldn’t work. That what they had had started to decay sometime around the end of Ruxomar, around when he left.
No, around when Martha almost became Mrs. a instead of a Ms.
Bitterness clutched at Wag’s heart. For all the love he held for her, he wondered, again and again, if she held the same. If she ever held the same, if she even held something close to the same.
Take care of her.
Looking up at Jerry’s Tree, Wag remembered what it used to be. He remembered watching it burn, the pain he had felt in seeing his hard work get tarnished, in seeing a friend’s home wither away.
Now, though, it was different. Not quite a home, anymore, but reborn. Alive. And maybe, in the future, it’d be a home again, or maybe not. Maybe it needed to burn for it to become what it was now. Jordan would have never built it up to this, but Ianite had.
Maybe that was the secret, Wag pondered. Maybe you had to let things burn to be able to build them up stronger.
He looked at Martha again, at the softness in her face and the hardness in her eyes. His heart pulled in so many directions. Love, anguish, love, despair, love, hurt, love love love.
Yeah, he was going to have to let this relationship burn.
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borderlandscast · 5 years
Text
what happens when you let a bunch of vault hunters loose in digart (aka, virtual reality minecraft)
vox downloaded the game at the request of panda, who needed to prove to teep that the game has undergone massive updates and is now capable of supporting custom mods and excessive cheating.
within an hour, the two broke the server from spawning far too many bosses so that they could do a nonstop boss rush and update teep’s achievements.
vox rebooted the server and put a restriction on the amount of bosses that could be spawned in a single world and space.
this didn’t stop panda and teep from making pocket dimensions and fighting the bosses one by one, making the game lag horribly, and vox gave up on stopping them because they kept finding loopholes.
this leads into vox making their own avatar and joining the two on their never-ending quest to subjugate each world. if they can’t stop them, then join them.
panda and teep generally explore brand new worlds, and are usually the first to chart said worlds since they cheated in all their equipment and skills. vox shrugged and let it happen so they could explore with them faster. the two rock up into town to drop off maps, loot and materials before heading off again. they’re considered founding figures.
honeydew joins (from the grass room) to put down his roots, and begins a miniature spawn hub town. he names it ‘digfarts’ and it becomes a permanent fixture on the server. he’s the mayor thanks to self voting.
curious about why honeydew is spending so much time in the grass room instead of making them coffee, xephos logs in and begins a bee factory on the outskirts of digfarts. they accidentally breed a type of extreme killer bee which kills players and has to be confined in a massive sphere. otherwise, the bees produce honey, beeswax and other assorted products used in the market, magic or as trading.
players who break the rules are subjected to the ‘bee farts’ (xephos was against the naming but honeydew won by majority vote). the bees cause hallucinations, tingles and the heebee jeebies. remember that this is in vr. good, now wonder why nobody ever breaks the rules.
the bridge and frigate crews start a town market, and run their own supply chain and exploration crews. each of them have their own gangs, motifs and specialities. they’re all very into the game, and plan their shifts accordingly so they can log in.
daltos starts a cheese cult, ‘the cheesers’, monopolizing all production and selling of cheese. weirdly, he and his cult encourage the consumption of cheese. all registered, owned and named cows must pay a milk tax to the cult so that more cheese can be made. people who break this law have their whole house filled with cheese.
zylus and rythian become tower wizards. they look after the tainted zones and research magic; rythian eventually goes ‘insane’ and constantly needs guarding against the phantoms and weirdness that happens to him whenever he logs in. zylus can cast almost every single spell and is undefeated in pvp. his only weakness is ironically, cheese, thanks to shenanigans. touching cheese robs him of his powers. he has a deal with daltos so daltos doesn’t take advantage of this. in return, zylus has to buy weekly cheese from him or daltos will tell everyone and zylus has to reset to get a different weakness. and no, zylus hasn’t realised.
nanosounds and ravs become the ‘buff hooligans’ (a rejected nickname for the foursome ravs was previously involved in), and run around killing things for the wizards, people, and protect the wizards from themselves.
nilesy runs a cat museum. he collects anything cat related, and also cats. it took him two weeks to build the whole thing, and it’s always expanding. minecarts are needed to tour all fifteen sections. he also runs a fishing business.
hatfilms run an honest exploration and needs club (‘the thumb of truth’), and provide a lot of the fuel from oil, grease and energy deposits found all over the world. they have a contract with the cheesers, wizards, digfart’s mayor, etc. you name it, they’ll get it, for a price. the only thing they don’t traffic is bees. that’s...a sore topic for them. each of them specialise in certain areas, trott being the engineer, contractor and main cultist, alsmiffy in beasts, magic and tomfoolery and ross in materials and building. hollie is the ever patient receptionist of this venture.
will strife and parvis manufacture weapons, guns, somehow, and also, missile launchers. after accidentally nuking digfarts twice on two separate occasions, honeydew forces the two to put everything that could wipe the server into a secure and hidden vault. needless to say, strife installed an emergency backdoor, just in case the server ever needs to ensure a winning side. parvis is the key. he doesn’t know it.
zoeya and saberial logged in briefly to build an island as a monument to their eternal love. it has since become a protected zone for unicorns, neutral and friendly mobs. nobody is allowed to touch it or risk bee farts. the island is shaped like ravs the rooster. it’s also populated by special chickens. said chickens lay precious metals and materials. only a few parties have a permit gather the goods. there’s a real art to breeding the chickens; zoeya and saberial did not wisely pass this knowledge on to anyone. except for one person: arsenal.
chicken smuggling is a real crime in digfarts. the fine is a in-game week’s confinement in the bee fart sphere, plus a handwritten letter of apology to every single other player on the server for disappointing them and a pledge of loyalty to the poor chicken/s to protect them for life from any harm and neglect. killing a chicken results in a softban and a townwide funeral procession. killing multiple chickens is a permanent ban.
lalna and lalnable dabble in mad science, and for once, the two get along. they accidentally clone one another, forget to lock the doors and have to slaughter their runaway clones. the scene caused an investigation done by the thumb of truth and an official hearing. cloning isn’t against digfart’s laws, so lalna and lalnable clone everyone and preserve the bodies underground posed in entertaining dioramas. they charge five gold ingots for the tour, and a chest full of diamonds for a specific one to be constructed.
vox and their siblings build a giant monument to bebopvox. it goes as high as the sky and is perfectly symmetrical from top to bottom. they harvested materials and built it without hiring anyone, a testament to their diligence and determination. they even applied early for the building and statue permit. honeydew was unsettled when they all visited at once to seek the permit. this was because they all wore the same skin, just in different colours. only larry robert spoke. the rest stared at honeydew. it’s hard to say ‘no’ to that.
fyreuk run a history tavern, which charts the development and founding of digfarts and notable town achivements. they keep it up to date, and in exchange for music discs, will write ballads to honour said achievements.
lomadia logs in when nobody is on the server, and moves a single object to the left by one space, or switches items around, or leaves signs saying ‘i know what you did’, etc. so far, everyone is convinced that the server is haunted. vox pretends not to know about it.
martyn and minty run law enforcement, and swagger around town keeping the whole place in order. they have their fingers in every pie. their motto is ‘you do the crime, you do the time’ which is cheesy as hell but they’re actually pretty good at their job. they talk to vox to arrange trials and how long a ban should last if someone breaks the law multiple times.
sherlock refuses to join the server because he knows that people will bully him into playing their secretary, treasurer, errand boy, etc. he has a secret identity though, and logs in as ‘hulmes’. people play along with his pretend investigations since he actually writes pretty good newspaper articles as a result. fyreuk collect said articles too.
larry robert and their siblings are builders; the thumb of truth usually hires them to build things. the reason why larry robert and co can’t be left alone to build is beause they’ll keep building and never stop until it’s done. they crafted the entire road and railway system in one night, which sparked riots and fights due to everything needing names, all at once. honeydew put the permits into place as a result, which states that ‘only one party can build at any given time, and it can be completed at one’s leisure and has to be realistic so that fyreuk doesn’t cry over piecing the timeline together’.
bebopvox isn’t allowed on the server due to their irl identity but that doesn’t stop their kids sending them updates. the street surrounding te statue of them is called ‘ridge avenue.’
arsenal has to have someone watching him whenever he logs in since he has ‘the devil’s hands’. he runs a monthly auction house. he auctions off especially rare materials and custom goods needing a new owner. more importantly though, he’s the only official party who can sell the special chickens, which means that his auctions are a big event that nobody wants to miss.
the bloody bandits operate as blacksmiths attached to strife and parvis’ business. they’re expert miners, and for some reason, also operate the local cemetary. they note down how many times someone has died, and update the headstones. the cloning business caused a real hang-up as none of them could agree what to name the clones of lalna and lalnable.
i know i left some people out but the server is limited to frigate peeps to stop breaches into vox’s systems since the whole server relies so heavily on vox. there’s been jokes that they’re all playing in vox’s brain...which isn’t actually that far off the mark.
vox devotes quite a bit of processing power into maintaining and keeping the whole thing running smoothly. they’re unusually fond of what the frigate created, which possibly explains why any henious world breakage is treated as a in-game crime and punished accordingly.
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firedragon04 · 7 years
Text
Never ending brick walls
14 weeks ago I handed my boss my notice. I am now in my final week at the company. 
Quick fire questions and answers:
“Why give such a long notice, isn’t that a painfully long time to still work there?” So many have asked me that - and yes it did feel like a long time, but the contract asked for it and I don’t dislike anyone there or anything I do -- I actually enjoy it.
“If you enjoy it so much, why are you leaving?” I’ve been asked this a lot too - well after 2+ years of anything it becomes repetitive and comfortable... I never believe we should be comfortable. We all need to be challenging our selves every day. I haven’t felt challenged or really creative in a long time.
“So what’s next? Another job?” No... It’s time for a break. A break to fall back in love with my hobbies and bring stress levels down. King of all these will be gaming, old and new - I missed too much being a fetus and adolescent in the 90′s and early 00′s that I need to revisit and play for the first time so many iconic games.
“But Money? How will you live?” Everyone is so fixated on money. I see all these YouTubers and Streamers who are all “Sub to me plzzz k thx” and it’s really getting to me. I prefer content creators that have a true passion for the games they play (usually variety streamers) and never ask for subs, the button is just there as an after thought if anyone happens to want to support them. I see Patreon very similarly, its optional if people want to support their content. People who complain about the ‘Adpocalypse’ on YouTube or lock content behind pay walls disgust me in many ways - its not the content creator I wanted to be when I was a YouTuber and it won’t be the type I will be.
“Huh? You’re going to YouTube again?” Long ago, in another life, I was a YouTuber, yes. FyreUK had a good run, but Minecraft should be dead by now and it is to me. I will never touch that game again. I want to be a variety streamer and then do some pretty unique things with the raw footage I capture of the games on YouTube. None of this will be monitzed for a while and when it is it will be done subtly and non-intrusively. No “Thanks to _username_ for subscribing” or annoying noises and dances when people sub... that’s awful.
“Wait you didn’t answer the initial question about how will you live without a job?” Ah right yeah... Money. Well having worked full time for over 2 years I have a very nice set of savings, a new house I’m moving into once renovations are done and enough classic games and consoles to keep my hunger for games satisfied for quite some time.
The future:
After 2 years of working, on Friday 22nd September I’m done -- probably for quite some time. I wasn’t made for office life... too many people. I prefer to hide behind my computer screen and create animations and edits in peace without distractions -- not meetings and phone calls. I look back on my previous life, FyreUK, and all things Minecraft in a positive light and I learnt so much from my time as a content creator -- so that’s why I plan to return to that world. If I don’t gain even one viewer - that’s fine... the greatest things in life are those you do for yourself, to make you happy, I don’t care if anyone else tunes to watch me stream, I’m doing it for me and to have an archive of these games played by me saved online.
My Twitch Channel: https://www.twitch.tv/firedragon04 My Main YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/FireDragon04 My Stream Archive Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi2DNeckT7N_NBY2nCDUVCA
Everything I stream will be put up on the FD04 Streams archive channel and eventually all footage will be turned into a very short video essay/opinion piece about that game in what I am dubbing ‘Season 1′ on my main channel. All of the  games will of course be played live on my Twitch channel.
The end of an era:
Anyway enough of that... lets talk the subject of this post...  Never ending brick walls. That’s what the last 14 weeks have felt like, a countdown with one brick wall crumbling down at the end of every week. Now just one stands between me and the next era. I will be very sad to say goodbye to this era of my life as I have learnt so much about life... work... politics... and me. I am not the same person I was 2 years ago... nor was that person the same person 5 years prior. 
“We all change, when you think about it, we're all different people; all through our lives, and that's okay, that's good...”
I started at this company as a simple video editor. I remember being plunged into big edits for huge clients very quickly and I realized very early on that while I’m a good video editor, I’m terrible with audio. My boss would say things like “count the beats” and “this bar ends in the wrong place” I didn’t understand any of this... I’ve never really listened to music, it was the lyrics that I paid attention too. So I went away and spent months understanding music and learning to even read music in some places. I am far more competent at editing audio and music now. 
After about a year of editing, clients started noticing I added extra flare to videos whether that be in logos, titles, lower thirds or other parts - in the form of animation. It started slowly, the ask for redesigned and animated power point presentations was first then that evolved into full on motion graphics animations and complex character animations. It was a trickle of jobs that turned into a torrential downpour. In 2015 I edited a video every day, in 2017 it is very rare if I edit at all, I’ve become an animator first and an editor second.
Long before the decision was made, the long though about choice to leave... I remember one cold January morning - calling home... and just talking to my Mum. Without thought I said to her “I need to leave, you know, I think I’m done”. 9 months later that thought has come to fruition. I am usually a very meticulous and accurate person but throughout my life I have made impulsive decisions to do something or leave... I didn’t want this to be one of those situations so I took 6 months to think about it... to plan, and now here I am at the final brick wall, hammer in hand... ready to break it down.
See you all in another life <3
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