#i might start working on a masterlist soon but it will take a few days😭

[transmascaraa]

May I please get some hcs with tighnari and Gorou x reader(Separate) where reader asks to touch their ears/tail :)

Absolutely no worries if not! <3

(I remember gorou having a voice line where There was a rumor or something that if you touch his ears you get luck or something lmao so i do wonder how he would react👀)

multiple characters headcannons!

just for good luck.

characters: tighnari, gorou x gn!reader

author's note: this request is for tonight<3 thanks for requesting @whywontmybrainload and i hope you like it just like i hope for everyone else!!

✧ Tighnari

-he is a bit skeptical about it when you just ask him bluntly like that.

-just why so sudden?

-so you have to explain it to him despite how mcuh he already knows because this has happened too many times already.

-after some thinking, he sighs and comments a bit more on how you're clingy and how his ears and tail are sensitive.

-when he finishes his lecture, you have to mention once again that it's for good luck and do it yourself.

-he'll act a bit angry but he'll be red as fuck so just be sure to know his weak spots

-his ears and his tail.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☆ Gorou

-you don't know wether he's shocked or flustered.

-his eyes are wide in disbelief but his rosy red cheeks tell otherwise.

-i can picture him so vividly crossing his arms, looking away from you, blushing hard while pouting "of course not."

-it takes a bit of begging him and giving him puppy dog eyes until he replies to you again.

-but the reply was just another no.

-so you tried to explain it was for good luck until he gave up and just leaned his head down a bit.

-you pet him and smile widely at him, while he blushes intensely at the ground.

-you might've heard a little "good luck."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i like it

i love them sm

i love this req idk i feel nice

[russo-woso]

Adventures | Leah Williamson x singer!reader

Request | Masterlist | prompt list

Part two for biggest fan.

A/N wrote most of this and forgot to save it 😭😭

Warning talks of miscarriage, pregnancy, morning sickness

Summary You and Leah start a family

Since the end of your tour, you and Leah had been desperate to start the course of IVF.

Having a family had been in yours and Leah visions for years, both of you wanting to have a family of your own.

So when you approached a fertility clinic and they explained the procedure, you were ecstatic.

You and Leah would potentially have a baby within the next year.

The process started the week following the appointment.

Leah had an egg retrieval procedure.

You stayed by her side the whole time, holding her hand tightly.

The following steps were far too scientific for you to understand.

Then came the final moment.

The embryo transfer.

Similarly what you did to Leah, she held your hand through the procedure, kissing your forehead every so often.

You both walked out the hospital, smiling at the thought of what nine months from now might look like.

—

The 29th of March held so many memories.

It was one of the best days of the year.

On that day, you get to celebrate your girl.

Over the years, you’d gone all out for Leah birthday, wearing to spoil her the best you could.

You’d wake up early, make her breakfast, bring it to her in bed.

But this year was different.

This year, you still woke up early, but with a sudden wave of nausea.

You jumped up from bed, trying your hardest to not wake Leah, and ran to the bathroom.

You barely made it before throwing your head in the toilet.

You felt Leah’s hand on your back, rubbing it comfortingly as you continued to throw up.

Once you’d finished, you sat back against the wall, Leah coming to sit down next to you.

“I’m so sorry, le. This isn’t how today was supposed to start. I was gonna make you breakfast and now—” You said, tears welling in your eyes.

“—Baby, hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry. As long as I’m with you, it’s perfect. Look, I’ll go down and make some breakfast and bring it upstairs.” Leah told you and you weakly nodded.

Leah left the bathroom soon after to go make pancakes.

As you were getting up, your eyes focused on a small box on top of the cabinet.

You picked the box up, taking a test out and unwrapping it.

You quickly took it, setting it down on the bathroom counter.

You wanted Leah to be with you when you looked, but you didn’t want her to be upset on her birthday if it was negative.

It was still a few days early to take the test.

The doctors recommended at least three weeks and it had only been two and a half but you were certain.

You hadn’t realised how much time had gone by until Leah walked upstairs with two plates of pancakes in her hands.

You walked over to the bed, getting comfy before Leah handed you breakfast.

Lying in bed next to you, Leah looked cautiously over to you.

“Baby, have you taken a test yet?” Leah asked

“I’ve just taken one. I haven’t looked yet. I wanted you to be there.” You explained and Leah took your hand in hers. “I don’t want you to be disappointed on your birthday if it’s negative.”

“Y/N, I don’t care if it’s negative, baby. It’s okay if this time hasn’t worked, it’s the first time. We can try again. Well go look after breakfast, okay?”

You nodded, Leah pressing a kiss to your cheek.

It had been a while and you and Leah still hadn’t looked at the test.

It wasn’t until you went through to the bathroom, that you decided to call Leah through to do it.

Leah wrapped an arm around you, her hand rubbing up and down your side.

“Remember, it doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative.” Leah reminded you, kissing your temple.

“3, 2, 1…” you both counted, before flipping the test.

You mouths dropped as you read the word on it.

Pregnant

“You’re pregnant, baby!” Leah exclaimed, picking you up and twirling you.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” You smiled, leaning in to kiss Leah.

“This is the best birthday ever. I love you so much.”

—

“Le! Come here!” You exclaimed, Leah running through to the living room where you were sat.

“What? Is something wrong?” Leah asked, panicked.

“They kicked. I definitely just felt a kick. Come.” You told her, grabbing her hand and resting it on your now 18 week bump.

“Come on, bubba. Kick for mummy.” Leah whispered, rubbing your bump.

As she finished her words, a small kick was felt.

Leah gleamed up at you, the most biggest smile on her face.

“Did you feel it?”

She nodded quickly, going back to focus on your bump.

Every time Leah spoke to your baby, they kicked.

And every time they didn’t kick, Leah would wait until they did.

Leah stayed there for at least an hour, just talking to your baby.

—

Christmas was your favourite time of the year.

The aesthetics, the weather, the fact you got to spend time with loved ones.

It all just made you happy.

This year though, was quite the opposite.

Yes, the aesthetics hadn’t changed, and the weather remained the same and you still got to spend time with family.

But this year, you were nine months pregnant.

You have been trying to induce yourself into labour for the past week.

You’d spent hours bouncing up and down on the yoga ball.

You’d gone on several walks, curb walking, hoping that it could help.

Long story short, it didn’t. Because you’re sat here on the morning of Christmas Eve still nine months pregnant.

“Le, please come tell your daughter to just come already.” You sighed, flopping against the sofa, exhausted because you’d had to stand for more than five minutes.

“Hi, bubba.” Leah began, lying in between your legs, her head resting on the side of your bump. “Me and mama really want to meet you. Come on, bubba. I know you’re comfy in there, but you have to come meet us.”

Your baby girl just responded with a hard kick to your bladder.

“I need to go to the toilet now.” You groaned, Leah helping you up as you waddled to the toilet. “Fuck. Leah!”

Leah ran through to the hallway, seeing you standing there, holding your bump as you looked down to a puddle on the floor.

“Baby time?” Leah questioned, a panicked look on her face.

“Baby time.” You confirmed

Leah started running round like a headless chicken.

Running upstairs to get the bag, then running to get the car seat, then into the bedroom to get you some spare clothes.

“Le, baby, we’ve still got plenty of time. Calm down. Let’s put on a movie, I’ll go get changed.” You told her, pressing a kiss to her cheek before grabbing the clothes from her.

The rest of the morning went quite quickly. Your contractions were now six minutes apart.

Leah had been so good, rubbing your back, getting you whatever you needed.

It was at 1 o’clock when you finally made your way to hospital.

The journey there seemed to take forever.

Leah’s hand rested on your thigh the whole time, squeezing it gently every now and then.

Due to yours and Leah’s fame and recognition within the world, you’d gone through the whole process and pregnancy at a private hospital.

Arriving at the hospital, Leah helped you get out the car, taking the bags in her hand and guiding you to the hospital.

At this point, you’d been in labour for five hours and were sure that you were beginning the later stages of labour.

The contractions were now excruciating, making you double over in pain each time a contraction hit.

The nurse guided you to a room, where a birthing pool was in the corner.

You’d asked for a birthing pool, still making your mind up whether or not to give birth in it.

The nurse checked you over, telling you and Leah that you were already eight centimetres dilated.

“Two more centimetres away from meeting her, baby.” Leah said, kissing your temple as a huge smile took over her face.

You breathed a sigh of relief, only a bit more longer of this left.

Over the next hour, you decided you’d like to give the birthing pool a try.

Leah ran a hot soothing temperature and helped you in.

She massaged your back and you breathed in the gas and air the doctors gave you.

When you arrived at the hospital, you were already too dilated for the epidural so you had to go with gas and air instead.

“Le, I think it’s time. I need to push.” You told her, already out of breath from active labour.

Leah got up quickly, pressing the button on the side of the bed.

Within seconds, the nurses were there.

They went through everything with you before telling you to push.

You gripped Leah’s hand as you pushed.

You’re sure you heard a bone crack, but Leah insisted she was fine.

“You’re doing so well, baby.” Leah whispered against your temple.

“It hurts so bad, le.”

“I know, love. I’m sorry.” Leah said, taking a piece of sweat drenched hair from your face.

After what must have been fifteen minutes of gruelling pushing, there was still no sign of your daughter.

“I can’t do it.” You sobbed, throwing your head back after pushing.

The nurses shot Leah a look.

“Try get in the pool with her. It may relax her.” One of them told Leah and Leah nodded straight away.

You relaxed against Leah’s chest, Leah’s arms wrapping round you as you held onto them.

“A bit more, baby. I promise.”

You pushed, your teeth gritted as you sued all your power.

Leah whispered inspirational words as you pushed.

“I can see her head. Keep pushing.”

“Her heads nearly out, love. I can see her.” Leah said, her voice breaking as her emotions got to her.

“One more big push.” The nurse stated and you pushed, the last of your energy being poured into this push. “She’s here! Well done mama.”

Your daughter was placed on your chest, small cries escaping her mouth.

“She’s here, baby. You did it.” Leah cried, placing her hand on the back of your baby girl.

You rubbed your daughters back, before looking at Leah.

She had the biggest smile on her face, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I’m so proud of you.”

You smiled at her in response, too exhausted to speak.

You stared at your daughter, her eyebrows furrowed exactly like Leah’s.

She had small tuffs of blonde hair along with blue eyes, the exact shade of Leah’s.

“She looks like you. Look, exactly the same eyebrows.” You said, smiling at Leah.

“Hey!” Leah exclaimed quietly, clearly joking.

“Mum, would you like to cut the cord?” The nurse questioned Leah who nodded straight away.

She was handed a pair of scissors, being guided on where to cut it.

Your daughter was taken from you to get checked over whilst you pushed the placenta out.

The nurses helped you get to the bed, Leah walking towards you a few seconds later with your baby girl swaddled in her arms.

“She weighed 7 pound 1, and she’s perfect.” Leah told you, sitting on the side of the bed as you both looked at your newborn.

“She is perfect.” You agreed

“We love you so much, Olive Cassandra Williamson ”

[darknights04]

are you still working on the Elijah mikaelson Bridgeton fic?

I'm sorry it took so long 😭😭 Lots of life changes have been occurring. But here it is, a small blurb of what could be the start of a series if you guys like it.

The Social Season

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x reader Summary: The Mikaelsons have returned to London for this year's social season. No girl had ever caught Elijah's eye before, until now. Word Count: 2772 Masterlist

London 1814

The London social season had been in full swing by the time the Mikaelsons had returned to the city during one of Lady Danbury’s events. Elijah and his siblings had barely walked through the doors before ruthless mamas began to smooth our their daughter’s dresses while eyeing them from across the room. Elijah was the prize, certainly, but if any woman was to catch a Mikaelson son at all they would consider it a win. Rebekah had also never had a difficulty keeping her dance card full. 

It was well past the first soiree of the season, but it was the first that the Mikaelson siblings had made an appearance at. The marriage-minded missus of the city (and their mamas) always kept a keen eye out for them. While they may not have had the status of the Duke, the Mikaelson family was both well known, respected, and equally as feared. Not even Lady Whistledown dared to write more than their names. 

“Must we return to this god-awful city every year?” Niklaus groaned as the wave of young bachelorettes swarmed towards them. 

“Speak for yourself,” Kol smiled, watching the ladies with a much different expression. “I rather like being adored.” 

“Mikaelsons!” they all heard coming from the opposite direction. Upon inspection they saw none other than Anthony Bridgerton advancing towards them. Rebekah and Elijah turned toward him with bright smiles with Niklaus and Kol tended to the hoard of ladies with empty dance cards. 

“Bridgerton,” Elijah greeted with a smile, meeting his arm in the middle to shake his hand in greeting. 

“You’ve missed a great amount in the short few weeks you’ve been absent this season.” 

“Yes, well, we had some family business to tie up back in the states across the water.” 

“No matter, you are all here now. You must join our family for a promenade sometime soon so I might regale you with all the happenings from the season thus far.” 

“I’m sure we’ll catch up plenty with a reading of the last couple Lady Whistledown issues,” Rebekah remarked with a small chuckle.

“Yes but surely, sister, as you know as well as I Whistledown doesn’t know everything,” Elijah corrected before turning back to Anthony with a smile. “We’ll be glad to join you, Bridgerton. You shall name the day.” 

“Fantastic! Oh and we must not forget the ball my mother is hosting at our estate in the country. You’d all be welcome there as my guests if you so desire.” 

“I would be honored, my lord,” Rebekah said with a smile, bowing her head slightly. It was no secret that she fancied the man. Her whole family could see it. While Rebekah had no intention of being courted or heavens forbid marrying anyone, she could still dream about the life she might live were she able to. The beautiful family that might surround her. The number of children she and the viscount might have been able to have together. But that was nothing more than a fantasy. Precisely the reason that Elijah was hardly ever seen taking any young ladies to the floor. He felt it foolish to fill them with futile hopes of him proposing. Every respectable lady of the ton desired marriage, children, a real family. Something none of the Mikaelsons would be able to provide. 

Nonetheless, the Mikaelsons always appeared before the ton each year during the height of the social season just long enough to maintain appearances. Not to mention, Kol had not found an easier afternoon snack than that of a young lady hoping for a betrothal. They never killed any of the members of the ton, of course. Such a high standing society member would surely be missed. Nothing a bit of the vampires’ own blood and a little compulsion couldn’t resolve.

“You must meet my dear cousin,” Anthony stated after a brief moment. “She’s come to live with us after the passing of her mother, my aunt.” 

Anthony turned as he beckoned you over to them. Elijah sighed as he looked down at his feet, readjudsting his posture to be more proper as he awaited your arrival. When his eyes met yours, however, his reluctance towards the introduction vanished. 

“Mikaelsons,” Anthony continued. “This is my cousin, miss Y/n Ledger.” 

“A pleasure,” you said with a polite smile and a perfect curtsy. 

“The pleasure is mine,” Elijah replied quickly, offering his hand for you to take. Once you softly placed your hand into his, Elijah brought it ever so slowly up to his lips as he touched the softest kiss to your gloved hand; an action that did not go unnoticed by Rebekah, nor the ravenous mamas behind them. Elijah was not one to give more than a curt nod to young ladies introducing themselves. “Lady Ledger-”

“Just miss Ledger,” you corrected. “Lady Ledger was my grandmother.” 

While the response was simple, it answered many of Elijah’s questions. For one, you were not married. If you had been married you would either hold a title as a lady or hold a different last name than your grandmother. Second, your mother was not married. Had your father been a Ledger himself, your mother would hold the title of Lady Ledger, not your grandmother. As that title is still her grandmother’s to hold, your mother hadn’t married a lord to gain the title herself. Thirdly, she must be related to the Bridgertons through the sister of the current vicountesses Bridgerton. 

“Pardon me, Miss Ledger. Would you care to do me the honor of a d-”

“Y/n, surely you must join me for a cool glass of lemonade,” Rebekah interrupted, linking her arm through yours as she dragged you away to the drinks table. 

Elijah stood dumbfounded as you both walked away. Rebakah knew it was improper to interrupt, but after living for 800 years she couldn’t come to care. Elijah watched your expression closely. He expected a protest, or for you to at least look back towards him. There wasn’t a chance you didn’t catch what he wanted to ask you. Any other lady would have jumped at the opportunity to be led to the floor by a Mikaelson. Especially by Elijah, being the eldest for all intents and purposes. 

As soon as the two of you were gone, Elijah was swarmed by the ton much like his brothers were just moments before. Nikalus and Kol could not agree to another single dance, having agreed to partner with a different lady for each one, so naturally the crowd has turned next

‘’ towards both Elijah and Anthony, knowing this was the season the viscount longed to secure a wife. 

Anthony looked towards Elijah with raised eyebrows as he let out a deep sigh before having to face the wolves. 

--- 

As the week went on, Elijah and Rebekah agreed to join the Bridgerton family in a turn about the park in Mayfair. Rebekah loved their family. She envied Violet’s ability to have so many children. A life she longed for herself. Elijah, on the other hand, wanted to know more about you. 

“Bridgertons,” Elijah greeted the family with a nod as they approached. “Miss Ledger,” he said toward you.

“My lord,” you greeted back with a smile and a small bow.

“Would you care for a turnabout the lake?” he offered, holding his arm out for you. 

“Oh,” you said with a slight tone of surprise, looking back at the Bridgerton family. Before you could find the words to accept or deny, Violet spoke up for you. 

“She would love one,” Violet beamed with a nod, pulling you forward to take his arm. 

You chuckled in defeat as you wrapped you arm around his, hand resting on the crook of his elbow. 

The two of you had barely gotten ten feet from the rest of the family before he bagan to bombard you with questions. You didn’t mind, of course. Most most began conversations this way, especially when “interviewing” their potential matches. 

“So I really must ask,” he began. “How is it that you’re not married yet?” 

You chuckled at his question, one of the ones you expected to hear first. “Well, my mother had me out of wedlock. If it wasn’t for or connection to the Bridgertons then I would be labeled a bastard child and thrown out of society entirely. Instead, my mother trained me from a young age so I could have the perfect match. She was determined. Too determined. Her determination ended up turning away a lot of possible suitors.”

As you spoke, you noticed Elijah was genuinely interested in what you had to say. He wasn’t spaced out as you rambled on, he didn’t seem annoyed or simply waiting for you to be finished. He wanted to know about you. About your life.

“As the seasons past, and I got older, everyone began to lose interest. I’ve been officially put ‘on the shelf’ as they would call it, at the ripe age of three and twenty.”

“Yet you still attend events with the rest of the ton?” he questioned. 

“Living with the Bridgertons comes with a surplus of invitations,” you explained with a smile. “And Eloise needs encouragement through her first season.” 

Elijah let out a laugh at that. “I pity any man who tries to tame her.” 

“Not possible,” you rebutted with a laugh of your own. “Eloise is one horse that cannot be tamed.”

As you continued to walk, you noticed many eyes turned to stare at the two of you. 

“And what of you?” you asked him. It was his turn to answer your questions. 

“What of me?” 

“Surely you have your number of available matches. Why have you gone so long without securing one?” 

Elijah chucked while glancing to the floor, watching your feet walk in sync. “In truth I’ve never had the desire to settle down with anyone,” he explained. “It didn’t seem like the type of life I was meant to live.” 

“And now?” you asked. Both of your steps had halted as you turned to face one another, his eyes searching yours as if trying to find the words to answer you. 

“Now…” he began, not truly knowing what his answer was. “Now, I’m not sure what the future holds for me.” 

The two of you stayed in silence you a couple moments longer, stuck searching the others eyes for answers to questions you didn’t know. It wasn’t until you remembered where you were that you tore your eyes from his, clearing your throat.

“We should make our way back,” you said simply. “They’ll be serving tea under the gazebo soon. Would you and your sister care to join us?” 

It was Elijah’s turn tp clear his own throat, facing back towards the path in front of you as he continued to walk.

“Indeed,” he nodded. “That would be quite agreeable.”

After a few moments of silence, you spoke up again. “You must join us in Aubrey Hall next week.”

“Yes, Lord Bridgerton mentioned retiring to the country for a ball his mother is hosting.” 

“He’s invited the Sharma family to join us before the rest of the invited guests arrive, I insist your family do the same.” 

“Are you certain?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “We would not wish to be a burden.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” you assured him. “There is plenty of space and I could use the company while Anthony is busy in his dance of courtship. I shall discuss it with the family upon our return.” 

As the two of you walked back towards the Bridgertons, you felt eyes on you left and right. Both lords and ladys staring at the pair of you with two feelings on their mind. Confusing and envy. 

---

As the Mikaelsons dismounted from their carriage at Aubrey Hall, the entirety of the Bridgerton family was waiting to greet them. 

“Lord Mikaelson,” Violet smiled, greeting him with open arms. 

“Elijah, please,” he corrected, bowing his head slightly towards her. “You’ve invited us to be guests in your home, its only fair that you might call us by our given names. You know my sister, Rebekah,” he continued, motioning towards his siblings. “And might I introduce my brother, Niklaus and Kol.” 

“A pleasure, Lady Bridgerton,” Kol greeted with a bow of his own, followed by Niklaus.

“You have a lovely home,” he spoke up with a warm smile. 

“While you’re here you may think of it as your own,” Violet began before motioning towards the front doors. “Please, we were just about to sit down for tea. The Sharmas should be arriving any moment.”

As the group walked into the house, Elijah’s face lit up with a smile seeing you sitting in the parlor, waiting for everyone else. 

“My lord,” you smiled, standing up to offer a quick curtsy. “I’m pleased you could make it.”

Elijah grabbed your hand before your eyes raised to meet his, bringing it once more up to lightly caress it with his lips. Your breath hitches in your throat as this time, you weren’t wearing your gloves. 

“I wouldn’t miss it,” his said, looking back at you with a smile, you hand staying in his while he looks up at you. 

His eyes held yours for another moment before you heard a throat clear behind you. Elijah turned to see Kol with a sly smirk on his face.

“Ah, yes, miss Ledger allow me to introduce my brothers, Kol and Niklaus.” 

Both men in question smiled warmly as they each gave the the girl a quick bow. 

“Brother,” Elijah continued. “I’d like you both to meet miss Y/n Ledger. Cousin to the Bridgertons.” 

“Pleased to make your acquaintance,” you said with a smile of your own, giving a small curtsy. 

“Miss Ledger,” Niklaus starting, stepping forward to be next to Elijah. “I hear you’re quite the artist. I myself dabble in painting every now and again, I’d love to see your work.” 

Elijah looked towards his brother uneasily. Anyone who overheard him may have taken his comment as a kind remark, but Elijah didn’t miss the calculating grin on his face. He had an agenda. 

“An artist?” Elijah repeated with a slight tone of surprise. He wasn’t sure how his brother came to know this.

“Yes, brother. I’ve done my research,” Klaus answered back simply. 

“Oh,” you began, a bit take off guard by his knowledge of you. “Well I’ve tried my hand at painting every now and again, but Benedict is the true artist of the family. It’s him you’d be wanting to speak with about it.” 

“Miss Ledger I don’t recall ever seeing you on the dance floor,” Kol spoke up next. “You must allow me to lead you sometime. I am, after all, the best dancer in the family.” 

“Perhaps the best male dancer,” Rebekah spoke up, seemingly appearing beside him. “Both of you, stop overwhelming the poor girl.” 

“Oh, I really don’t mind, Lady Mikaelson.”

“Rebekah, please,” she almost scoffed. “Titles make me feel much too old.” 

“I couldn’t possibly-”

“I insist,” she interrupted. “In any case, we are all most comfortable being called by our given names. When one hears the name ‘Mikaelson’ being thrown from across the ballroom we never know for who it is intended for.” 

“Very well, Rebekah. Then you all must call me Y/n. Especially here in the country, away from the rules of London society.” 

“Lord Mikaelson,” Violet could be heard from behind, approaching the small group in the parlor. 

“Again, Elijah really is fine,” he corrected again with a chuckle.

“Elijah,” she repeated, a warm smile on her face. “You really must allow Y/n to take you on a tour of the grounds. I hear you’re quite the reader and my late husband, Edmund, had quite the collection in his library.” 

“But aunt Violet,” you started before Elijah could give an answer. “I told the kitchen staff that I would assist in serving the tea.” 

Violet waved you off. “I shall send down Eloise to help them. You go on and show Elijah your uncle’s library upstairs.” 

“I would love to see it,” Elijah added, urging you with his smile.

“Very well,” you nodded. Elijah help out his arm, motioning for you to go first, following close behind as you led him up to the Bridgerton’s library. 

“Might they be needing a chaperone, Lady Bridgerton?” Rebekah asked her with a sly grin, catching onto Violet’s schemes. 

“I’m not sure as to who you are referring,” she replied with an innocent shrug, turning back to return to the rest of her family. 

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [20]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 10,185

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, some fluff, mentions of death, blood, canon violence, mention of drug addiction

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: Can you guys believe book 2 is finally done?? We're finally done with season 3!! lol Book 3 will be the last book and I will have some stuff posted for that soon!! I have a few chapters done already lol There's a longer author's note at the end!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Jason’s hands are on your cheeks with his lips pressed to yours. Your hands are gripping the ends of his jacket hoodie with all your might, tugging him as close to you as you possibly can as if the very force of your grip will keep him here forever. The teeth of the zippers dig into the palms of your hands and you can't offer a single thought as your mouth moves with Jason's and everything starts to turn sloppy and desperate.

Jason backs you up to the wall where he pins you against it. Teeth smack and clank as you both grip each other wherever your hands lead you as if everything in this moment will fix all of your broken pieces and tainted dreams. You give each other everything, every breath and movement and every piece of yourselves to each other. Jason cuts himself open and gives you everything in him, every part of him even the bad parts just makes you feel whole. He bleeds him dry without ever second guessing it just for you, just to make sure you are happy. And you pull the air out of your lungs and offer it to him in silver jars just to watch him smile. You give him the very oxygen you breathe as if it’ll save him from himself. You offer him the air you breathe in order to see him smile and know he is enough. You give each other everything you can as if this will be the last time you have this moment.

Jason wants to believe this is not the last time but he has never gotten to be so lucky. Not in this life or the previous one. His own certainty is that he will love you in every life after. You have ruined him for anyone who ever even dared to show up later because he is stained by you and he would never have it any other way. But, there is that piece of him that thinks this is it. This is all there will ever be. Something will happen and this will be it so he gives you his all as his mouth moves with yours and his right hand grips your hip hard enough to leave bruises.

Time happens. You know time doesn’t stop anyway. Days go by and then weeks, then months, and then years. Something always comes up and it’ll always be a tomorrow problem and then another tomorrow and another until the tomorrows are neverending. This might be it because you both have a habit of getting lost in time and there is never enough of it. Time will go by and maybe this will be it for you. So, you give him every part of you as you tug the hair at the nape of his neck.

Jason pulls away just enough to kiss your cheek and tenderly makes his way down your neck only to be met with the sturdy armor of your suit. Jason huffs against what skin is exposed before he moves back to your cheek, only for you to laugh softly.

“Safety first.” You mutter through breathy words.

Jason snorts as his head feels fuzzy. "Fuck off." He mutters right as both of his hands squeeze your hips as if they're the only thing keeping him planted on the planet.

Jason slides a hand to your back, trailing over the zipper, ready to tug it down just as your phone starts ringing. The two of you pull away, breaking for some air that isn't tangled between the two of you only to let out groans.

"Cockblock." Jason states as you tug your phone from your suit.

You let out a chortle, not looking up at Jason as your cheeks start to burn. "Who says you were getting that lucky?"

Jason narrows his eyes at you before he raises his brows. "Hey, a guy can hope." Jason states with sarcasm as you look up at him with softness clouding your eyes.

"Fucking cockblock." You roll your eyes earning a laugh from Jason. "Least that was fun." You nod your head as your smile turns into something sad and soft.

You answer the phone before Jason can respond. Dick mostly just explains the sort of plan they have for the moment. They aren't sure what they're going to do about the people in the streets but if Jason and Dick and Donna can be brought back, he wants to find a way to bring all of them back, too. But for now, Dick explains he's going to send you and Jason into the manor together to start taking out of the cops working with Crane in order to give Gar access to the alarm system. Once it's disabled, they'll take back the manor and take down Crane. You and Jason both think it sounds easy enough but sounding easy lately, doesn't mean it will be. But, you both have faith in it. It'll be the closest you've come to taking down Crane anyway. So, you set up a time and end the call.

After the call, you and Jason stand facing each other as you both continue to catch your breath. With the call, the weight and gravity of the situation fall back onto your shoulders. Avoiding it isn't going to make the weight any better. You both need to learn how to remove the bricks one by one. The adrenaline starts to dissipate between you as you smile softly at him and Jason's cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink. Maybe that feels a little unfinished but...maybe that gives you both the opportunity to come back even if it's just one last time for old-time's sake and for now, you're okay with that.

"Well," Jason sucks in a breath finally pulling his hands away from her hips. "Wanna try and get some sleep for a few hours?" Jason offers.

"Yeah, I'm fucking exhausted. I, uh, I don't remember the last time I really...slept, actually." You let out a sheepish laugh.

"Come on." Jason jerks his head towards the bed on the opposite side of the room. "I'll set an alarm." Jason smiles softly at you.

The two of you get into the bed just as you always have. You still say you'll never make him sleep on the floor and it's not like this is something new, even as friends. It doesn't matter. And Jason is happy with this. He's hoping maybe he'll actually get some much-needed sleep anyway. You always made him feel a little more at ease anyway. So, you lay down, your head on his chest and you try to get some sleep before you need to be at the manor.

By the time the next morning rolls around, you and Jason have gotten some sleep. It wasn't good sleep or very much. Some of it was just being a little worried for what today would bring and if Crane planned on setting off another bomb to kill more people. Some of it was worry for the other Titans. And then some of it was just stress. But, you both did get some sleep and Jason's alarm woke up you with a jolt.

A heaviness fills the air between you, knowing this will be it. This is your shot to take out Crane. This is your shot to take back the city. If this plan doesn't work, Crane will expect everyone always and you'll lose. You can't afford to lose today. But, this is what being a vigilante is about. It's risking everything for the greater good. So, the two of you get ready and head outside to Jason's bike.

Jason hands you the extra helmet before he mounts himself on the bike. You're chewing the inside of your cheek, your grip tight on the helmet. Jason can feel it, too. He doesn't want you anywhere near Crane. He could have killed you the last time you were face-to-face. He tried to kill you and that alone nearly sends Jason into a rage. Jason wouldn't put it past Crane to try again or try to get Jason to do it or make Jason watch. You can't die. He doesn't want you to get hurt at all, you've been hurt enough by Crane. It's not up to Jason though. This will never be up to him.

"You sure about this?" Jason asks you, mostly just checking in.

You nod your head softly. "Uh, yeah. Just..." You suck in a breath. "Fucking Crane, ya know?" You shake your head, looking to the ground as you lick your lips. "Ready for this shit to be over." You scoff as you loos back to him.

"You gonna kill him?" Jason asks.

"Did you want to?" You ask right back.

"He almost killed you so..." Jason tilts his head to the side, his voice almost telling you you should have known the answer.

"Dick's never gonna let us." You laugh softly before you pop the helmet on your head.

"He's not gonna stay in Gotham forever."  Jason quips as he puts the Red Hood helmet on, making you laugh.

"Yeah, that's true." You take your seat right behind Jason. "Guess we'll just wait until the Titans leave then." You say sarcastically as you wrap your arms around his waist.

"Let's get this going then." Jason says before he revs the bike.

The drive to the manor is quiet, a lot quieter than any ride with you and Jason ever is. On most days, you’re talking through your comms, usually making some sort of inside joke and making some sarcastic jab at each other but today is not that. This is the first time you’re back in the manor together since Jason died. It will not feel normal. It will not feel safe and it won’t be safe. Crane and all of his men are there and this is not how it should be. This is not how you ever imagined it to be.

He was alive and you thought it would be warm and a relief to have him back home. Back at the manor. But, instead, it just feels like dread that’s consuming you because he didn't come with you. He isn't coming home with you. You're only going home together to beat Crane and that stings more than you'll ever tell him. But you have to do this. There is no choice. You are out of options when it comes to Crane. The National Guard has been sent in and Gotham City is under lockdown. Crane wants to take out every person in the city. If you don’t do it now, there may not be a Gotham tomorrow. It’s for the better of the city.

There is also the thought that this is the end between you. You’ll take out Crane today and then…that’ll be it. You’ll go your separate ways for a little bit because that’s what's for the best for both of you. But that doesn’t make the pill any easier to swallow.

As for Jason, he’s focused on the mission at hand. He wants to get in and get the hell out. That’s all this is. For the better of the city. But, he’s also trapped in his own head because he did trust Crane so there is some distant part of him that feels bad about it. It’s the right thing to do and he knows Crane doesn’t deserve sympathy for everything he’s done but something about it feels hard and Jason hates that feeling.

And he’s worried about what will happen when Bruce comes back. Eventually, Bruce will know Jason is alive. Once he finds out, he’ll know about Red Hood. Before, that was fine. It was spite. A fuck you to Bruce and the Bat and everything he stood for. But, Bruce killed the Joker for him. Bruce threw away all of his morals for him. That changes things. Jason is firm in his beliefs and what he wants to do after all of this. Nothing is going to change his mind but there is a part of him that is tired of letting everyone around him down. Bruce is the closest thing to family he’s had since his mom died. He never wants someone else to end up like him, go through the hell he’s been through, but he doesn’t want to give up on this either. Not if Bruce really did that. For him.

Then, there’s that thought of being alone. It’s for the best. It’s for the best for him and you. But, he remembers what it was like returning to Gotham without you while you were a Titan. How it felt like the longest month of his life and you weren’t even together yet. But, you were different people then. You aren’t the same stupid kids who were so infatuated with each other, you could hardly breathe. You are more calloused and damaged and bruised and broken. It’s for the best as you learn to live with your new scars. As you come into yourselves as individual people. It’s going to be hard but it’s for the best. Jason swears it’s for the best and the lump in his throat starts to close off his throat.

“How we doing this, Jay?” You ask once you dismount the bike on the outskirts of the property.

Jason takes off his own helmet. “We’re not going to get in with you just walking with me.” Jason starts, gesturing for you to give him your helmet. “Pretend to hold you prisoner, a peace offering to the psycho.” Jason puts both helmets on the handles, trying his best to be casual about it.

Jason knows that’s a big ask given your history. But, he’s not going to tie you up for real and he’s not going to let anyone else do it. You'll never even see Crane until everyone else gets into the Manor. He knows it's not something you'll take lightly. He just doesn't know any other way. It's not like he can sneak you in, that's why Gar needs to enter as a bat in the first place. Turning you into Crane gets you both in but if you aren't comfortable, Jason knows you'll have to figure something else out. This is just the best, easiest, and quickest way.

You nod your head once. “Right, yeah, okay.” You pull in a weary breath.

The idea of even pretending to be restrained makes you want to peel your skin off your bones. You swore never again. You would die trying to get out of it ever happened because it simply can't. If you get restrained again, what happens if you never get to be free? What if something worse happens? It's why you don't like to use your powers. But, this is Jason and even after everything, you have enough trust in him to know he's going to make sure you can free yourself. It makes you nervous and it scares the hell out of you but you also know there isn't another way. You put your trust in him.

“Is that alright?” Jason asks, seeing the hesitance in your face.

You nod quickly. “Yeah, yeah, of course. It’s our way in.”

Jason nods, his eyes darting over you quickly. "Let's get going then." Jason jerks his head in the direction of the manor.

"Think they'll really buy that?" You question as the two of you start your walk to the manor.

"Guess you'll have to channel your inner thespian." Jason offers you a cheeky grin, trying desperately to ease some of your anxiety.

"That's your job, theater boy." You roll your eyes as you laugh softly.

"Oh, well, we know I've got that covered." Jason chuckles, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You always said I was fucking dramatic." Jason lets out a light-hearted scoff, looking over to you.

"You are." You let out a laugh. "Most dramatic person I ever met." You scrunch your nose as you look back him.

"Yeah, right." Jason scoffs but the smile beams back at you.

The two of you keep up a steady walking pace through the grounds of the manor. Crane doesn't seem to have anyone watching this far out. Chaos is ensuing in the city which means Crane's eyes are probably there and not on the cameras for the grounds. So, your walk is overall pretty peaceful given your circumstances, something the both of you are thankful for.

Once the two of you start to get closer to the front of the manor, you stop behind a few of the trees to scope out the front. There are two guards standing right out front, fully armed and in riot gear. They don't seem to be paying too much attention but the front of the manor is open so you'll be seen immediately. That's the plan anyway, get in without any disturbance and take them all out at once just to get inside. If you make a scene out here, Crane could lockdown the manor before you ever get a chance inside.

"Okay, I'll just hold your hands behind your back. You act like you want to kill me and we're golden." Jason offers you a cocky smirk.

You nod your head with the roll of your eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the drill, thanks." You laugh softly but there's something off about it.

The lack of quip and how the laugh sounds hollow. The smile falls almost immediately as you look at his hands. You bite it back and clear your throat, standing in front of Jason with your hands behind your back. Jason's gloved hands hold your wrists soft enough you could barely move and slip right from his grip. He's mindful, keeping his grip above where the scars hit even though they're covered by your suit.

You can feel his grip still and it's like you're being suffocated. The scars on your wrists start to burn, resembling the burn of you tugging and pulling on the cuffs, desperate to get out. You can feel the skin cracking out in a burn and then a deep welt before it's covered in blood. It burns and it aches and it stings. Your stomach twists and turns with nausea. It's the right thing to do because it'll get you in there. You can help and not being able to do this makes you feel weak and useless. But, it's as if you're frozen in place.

"Are you sure?" Jason asks quietly from behind you. "We can try to just tell them I convinced you to switch with Nightwing being dead."

You look over your shoulder, meeting the concerned look written across Jason's features. They'd never believe Jason could get you to switch sides. It would out you and Jason immediately and the whole thing would go to shit. It's for the greater good of Gotham and you trust him.

"Yeah," You nod your head. "Just hope it works." You pull in a breath as you turn back around.

"If not," Jason pauses for just a second. "We'll go down swinging anyway." He says it casually and you can't tell if it's supposed to be reassuring, a joke, or an acceptance of your possible fate.

"Always thought that'd be our way out." You let out a scoff that's ended with a half laugh. "Let's just go before we're late."

The two of you come out from the trees and start your walk towards the driveway. It only takes a few seconds for you to be spotted. The guards point the gun directly at you and it burns Jason's bloodstream knowing they're mostly pointed at you. If one of them even slips or gets a little too trigger-happy, Jason will lose his entire mind. He doesn't exactly trust them. But, he bites it down because if he starts worrying and getting annoyed, you will do the same.

"Found her snooping around the trees." Jason states once the two of you get closer to the front steps, one of the cops meeting you on the driveway.

"Get fucked." You scoff.

"And you're turning her in?" The guard questions, not buying it.

"Told Crane, I'm all in for his plan. Just here to prove it." Jason says casually, hiding every piece of annoyance and anger he has towards this whole thing.

"And you let him capture you?" The guard narrows his eyes at you.

"Fuck you you fucking piece of shit." You bark back. "No, I didn't let him that would be fucking stupid."

"Where are your friends?" He questions.

Your annoyance is not fake. You hate this guy already and the questioning is ridiculous. Why would you tell him anything and why would Jason tell him if he switched sides?

"I'm not a fucking rat unlike Red Hood here." You narrow your eyes back at him. "They're gonna stop him though." You threaten. "The Titans will win."

The cop gives you a sinister laugh, a way to tell you the Titans don't stand a chance. You swear arrogance has only ever worked on Jason. Arrogance on everyone else seems to make them stupid you think.

"Come on." The cop scoffs, leading the two of you through the front door as the other cop joins you.

Jason's grip is loose against your wrists as the cop walks you inside. The cop trails behind you, keeping the gun on Jason, clearly not trusting him. Jason gets the idea Crane knows he's done. That's fine, really. You're inside and with every step, Jason is thinking of a way out of this if it goes south. He should be able to hear the movement of the gun being held tighter before a trigger is pulled. The fabric of his jacket will move and he can shoot first. Your clairvoyance should go off and you'll have a knife out in the same breath. If this guy takes it into his own hands, it'll get messy quick but you'll have a way out. Jason focuses on a backup plan as you're nudged into the kitchen.

"You're not gonna believe who we caught outside trying to get in." The cop states as he leads you into the kitchen where three other cops in riot gear are gathered.

"What in the actual fuck are you trying to pull here?" One of them asks, his eyes directly on Jason. "Crane is done with you."

"I saw what he did downtown. Let's just say I'd rather be in here when the next bomb goes off." Jason states. "Found her when I showed up and thought I'd show my loyalty to Crane by bringing her in."

"What the fuck makes you think he'll take you back?" The guard asks. "Even with her."

"Pretty sure he's getting tired of dealing with the second string." Jason scoffs.

"Dr. Crane?" The guard states after touching his own comm device in his ear. "Red Hood is here." He says after a few seconds. "And he brought Bluejay, says he captured her for you." He pauses for a few seconds. "Thank you, Doctor." He touches his earpiece again before turning to the guy behind him. "Take them down. I'm gonna go outside and see if we have any other visitors here." The cop says before he rams his shoulder into yours to walk past you and Jason, making Jason's grip tighten on your wrists as an instinct.

One of the cops walks behind the two of you and shoves Jason and in turn, shoves you, too. The two of you nearly trip over each other as you move closer to the middle of the kitchen, standing between the islands while the four cops surround you. There's a feeling creeping into the back of your head, spreading through to the front. It's not quite throbbing like it usually does but there's a subtle alarm going off. It feels more like just a gut feeling something isn't right in this kitchen and based on the second squeeze you get from Jason on your wrist, he knows it, too. All you have to do is wait for Gar to trigger the manor's alarm system.

Just then, as if it be on cue, the alarm starts blaring from above you. Everyone looks up and that's the cue for Jason and you to get this thing going. Jason drops your hands and in an instant, Jason takes his elbow, ramming into the face of the cop behind him while you spin around, throwing a kick at the one behind you.

The cop Jason is fighting immediately starts firing while Jason grabs his arms, spinning him around so the gunfire stays away from you. He yanks the gun away as he tosses the cop over the counter all while you fight the first cop, elbowing him unconscious before throwing a knife at the one about to shoot you. Jason keeps his gun aimed at the last man before hitting him with the butt of the gun, knocking him unconscious.

Jason and you exchange a look with heavy breaths once they're all either down or dead. There's a glint of a smile coming over Jason's face as he shrugs.

"Don't gloat." You state, Jason seeing the smile come to your eyes.

"I wasn't saying shit." Jason defends but there's almost a laugh that leaves his lips.

"Mhm, something about how you trained me well or something." Your eyes narrow but there's something soft over your expression.

"I did." Jason holds his head with pride before he lets out a breath. He misses patrolling with you, fighting side by side. He thinks he'll always miss it. "Come on. We gotta get to Gar before they find him."

The two of you quickly make your way through the kitchen and to the main staircase, leading to bedrooms. You follow behind Jason with two knives in hand, keeping an eye over your shoulders while Jason watches around the corners you reach. As you round another corner and keep up your steady pace, Gar pops out from the corner from the hall that continues to your bedrooms. Gar immediately takes a step back, fear falling over his face.

"Hey, Dick sent us, okay? I'm on your side." Jason rushes quickly.

"I told you, he's with us." You urge not liking the fear over his face or the way his arm is almost in position to fight.

You don't blame him and neither does Jason. He just got Dick killed the other night. This is an entirely fair reaction for him to have regardless on if Jason was trying to help or not. And then Gar's eyes widen just as the back of your head starts throbbing.

Jason and you turn at the same time, Jason firing two shots while you throw a knife. Both of you hit the one cop, sending him to the ground instantly. You and Jason look right at each other and just nod before you turn back to Gar.

"See?" Jason questions.

Gar isn't sure just how relieved he is but he is thankful. "Thanks." Gar nods, his voice still a little unsure.

"Set up the router." Jason states.

"We'll watch the hall." You finish as the two of you stand on either side of the hall, opposite each behind two of the large pillars.

Gar ducks behind the corner and starts communicating with Dick about Jason and you being there before he starts working. But, it's only a few seconds before two of the cops show up, jogging through the hall but they're met by Jason and you as you duck from behind your pillars. Jason takes one while you take the other, the two of you using your fists and elbows for nonlethal force, successfully knocking out the cops before you go back to your spots. Jason flashes you a smirk while you roll your eyes.

The two of you wait as Gar takes down the system while Dick is on his way inside. You look over to Jason, his back pressed against the pillar with his gun that he stole from one of the cops downstairs held against his chest. You think about how you're going to miss this part of it. Dick said you work well together, it's why he wanted you to team up for this. Part of it. And you do. You never have to speak to know exactly what the other one is going to do. You think that probably isn't too common and you're going to miss it. You'll miss him, even if it's only a week you don't talk.

It's only a few minutes before Gar finishes up and meets you and Jason in the hall. He looks more relieved now as the three of you stand in the hall and it almost feels like it once did.

"So, you're really with us?" Gar asks.

Jason nods. "Yeah, I'm done with this shit." Jason lets out an easy scoff. "Sorry for everything, man."

"It's okay. You were drugged and manipulated." Gar offers his understanding. "Thanks for the help." Gar nods before he looks to you. "Thank you."

"Yeah, don't mention it." You smile under your mask as you scrunch your nose until you hear fighting and gunfire from downstairs.

The three of you exchange panicked looks before you run down the hall and towards the staircase. You and Jason take one way while Gar takes the other so you have both entrances covered to the main living room, hearing that's where the gunfire is coming from. The three of you reach your entrances just in time to see Dick throw one of his weapons, hitting the barrel of the gun pointed at him which makes it backfire, killing the cop holding it. You, Jason, and Gar enter fully into the room, slightly concerned by the whole interaction and the amount of bodies littered over the floor but not even willing to question it. It was Dick's life or that cop's and he wasn't going to let Dick walk out of here alive.

Dick walks up to the camera and grins wickedly before he salutes it. Bringing Crane down is definitely bringing Dick a lot of joy. It's bringing a lot of the Titans a lot of joy to bring him down.

Dick starts a quick pace to the entrance to the Batcave. "Let's go." He says, looking towards Jason and you.

"No." Jason says quickly, making Gar and Dick stop their walk to the entrance while you look to Jason with confusion. Dick nods his head at Gar for him to keep going before he closes some of the distance between him and Jason. "Look, this is a Titan's job. He knows I turned on him and that's enough for me. You guys finish it."

Something about the way he says it, as a form of acceptance warms your heart. Jason Todd doesn't hold very many grudges. He is not a mean person and he is not a monster. He should walk into that Batcave and rip Crane's head right off of his shoulders for everything he's done but he doesn't. Jason recognizes he was part of this problem. Drug or not, it does not matter. This was his doing and the Titans deserve the right to take him down. Crane knowing Jason turned on him and Jason being allowed to help the Titans, that's enough revenge for him now. He knows you'll give him hell anyway, it's your hell to bring him if you want it that bad.

"You sure?" Dick asks, somewhere between surprised and understanding.

"And tell the others I'm sorry." Jason shakes his head. "For everything." His voice is soft and honest.

"Thank you, Jason." Dick states with a nod of his head.

Dick Grayson can hold a grudge. Sometimes, he can be bitter and angry, understandably so. He can hold a grudge and maybe he should sometimes. But, Dick Grayson is not a mean person. He is not unreasonable. He is understanding and he cares about the people he loves and protects. It was his job to protect Jason at some point and he failed. Maybe some of this is on him and he died. That was a missing piece he really needed to understand how they even got here. He can hold a grudge but one against Jason is not one he's willing to have. He is thankful and hopes once this is over, they can both move on from whatever bitter rivalry boiled between them.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Jason starts as he starts to move away from Dick and towards the exit. "I was never here." He finishes before he leaves the room, you looking back at him before looking to Dick.

"Go." Dick states. "Something tells me you'll find Crane your own way, anyway." Dick doesn't sound pleased but he almost, just almost, looks content.

You nod softly. "Tell him I'm coming for him." You state the smile reaching your eyes just as you hear rapid footsteps coming into the room. Your mouth falls open from behind your mask as your eyes widen and turn watery. "Tim!?"

"Hey!" Tim chimes with excitement.

"I thought you were dead!" You rush over to him and pull him into a hug.

"Oh, yeah, I kind of died." Tim answers. "I don't know. It was weird, Donna was there." Tim's voice is filled with excitement at the mention of Donna, something most people would probably find off-putting. But, not you, that's just Tim.

You pull away, looking between Tim and Dick before you just roll your eyes. "I...okay." You shake your head, deciding to ask more questions later. "I'm gonna go. Fill me in later though, very happy you're alive." You smile before you turn on your feet.

"I knew you were Bluejay." Tim chuckles with confidence.

You turn around and deadpan but Tim holds his confident smile. "Shut up." You let out an exasperated sigh before you turn around and follow where Jason left.

Jason has done everything he can do. Crane might have caused him pain but at the end of the day, it was Jason's trust in him that allowed Crane to cause everyone else so much pain and agony around him. Crane got control of the city because Jason trusted him. Bringing down Crane, that was never supposed to be Jason's job. That should be on the Titans, Jason knows he's just lucky to be walking away from it not only alive, but free.

He walks out of the manor and for the first time, he feels free. He is not obligated to come back. He's not obligated to offer anyone anything anymore. There is no obligation to be a hero or a villain. There is no obligation to be back by a certain time or an obligation to put food on a table. He is no longer obligated to take care of anyone or look out for anyone but himself. For the first time, Jason Todd is free to be whoever the fuck he wants to be without anyone else's opinion or input. That part is a bit terrifying but there is something cathartic about it as the cold Gotham air hits his cheeks. There is guilt and remorse and a heaviness he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to shake. There's the haunting ache in his bones but...he is free to live how he wants for the first time and that, is cathartic.

"Jay!" You call after him, stepping out of the manor.

Jason turns around, brows pulled together. "What're you doing? Thought you'd be in there with them to take down Crane."

"Dick's not gonna let me kill him." You let out a chortle. "And...Tim showed up anyway. It is Crane's fault he died." You nod.

"He died?" Jason questions loudly, his eyes shooting open.

He knew it was bad that night but he didn't realize Tim had died either. He was kind of with you, hoping he lived. It was easier to just hope it would work out. But of course, Crane just had to take out someone innocent. Jason hopes Tim is in the Batcave right now giving Crane absolute hell.

"Yeah," You say quietly. "Um, he seemed okay for the few seconds I saw him. Seemed happy to be here." You laugh softly, looking to your feet before looking back to Jason. "I, um," Your brows pull together as you suck in a breath. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, yeah, all good." Jason nods his head, earning an eyebrow raise from you. You could always see through him like he were cellophane. "I'm not Robin anymore." Jason confesses, looking around the manor before his eyes come back to you.

"You're not." You nod your head, almost dreading where this is going.

He never needed Robin. He could be just as great as Red Hood or as someone else or just Jason Todd. You aren't sure that's where this is going but you do know what Robin meant to him. You can only hope he will see his worth one day and he'll be able to move on from it with fondness.

"Bruce isn't here." Jason lets out a sigh.

"Nope." You shake your head once, now wondering where Jason could be going with this.

"I can be...whoever I want." Jason swallows thickly before looking to the ground.

You pull your mask off, closing some of the distance between you as a tender smile comes over your lips. "You deserve it, Jay."

Jason could always be whoever he wanted but he always felt like he needed permission. People always expected him to be something specific. If he didn't meet what they wanted, he thought they'd leave. Maybe if he could be what they expected, he wouldn't be too much or too little. He could be just enough and there would be no transaction in being loved. But, it never did work out that way. It led him here.

He isn't sure he deserves to be who he wants but he does want to try. He wants to try and be whoever he can be. Maybe that's worse but at least he'll be him. He will no longer be a torn painting of something everything thought he was. He will no longer put on a facade to be enough. That's easier said than done but he thinks maybe, just maybe, he can do it in time. He'll destroy every part of himself that has been damaged by broken expectations and be the person he actually wants to be. There will be a home for all of his pieces one day.

"Thanks." Jason nods his head. "So do you, ya know."

"Yeah," You scoff softly.

You aren't so sure you do after everything that's happened. On the one hand, you remained on Jason's side but...you did betray him in a way you aren't so sure you can forgive. On the other hand, you owed some more loyalty to the Titans than you did give them. A part of you thought you would turn on them if it came to it and that is not the person you want to be. But, you aren't sure you're deserving of better anymore. It's a lot to be forgiven for and a lot to forgive yourself for. And you just look at Jason who looks like he might have a little more hope left somewhere in his cracked ribs so maybe you can spare some, too.

"Where ya gonna go then?" You ask with a tender voice, as if stalling so you don't have to say goodbye.

"Safehouse." Jason answers. "One I've been staying at." He explains further. "You?"

"Probably call Molly, she'll be pissed." You laugh softly. "I, uh, I've avoided her, ya know? Just to keep her at a distance after Tim, ya know? But, she'll probably let stay."

Jason's relieved you'll have a place to stay. The whole space thing is the point, but if it came to it, he'd never let you live on the streets again. He has more than one statehouse. Molly would never tell you no though. And he hopes you will be a little more careful living with Molly. You wouldn't want to put Molly in danger and have Molly constantly see you with some sort of injury.

"What's next then?" Jason asks as he takes a single step forward, knowing you can only stall for so long.

"Keep this up, I guess." You laugh softly. "I don't know. Come up with a plan. You?"

"Yeah." Jason chuckles softly. "Think I'm gonna keep doing this, work from the top and try to control it. Don't know how much Bruce is gonna like it." A devilish grin puls at Jason's lips.

"He'll probably just be happy to have you alive." You answer honestly.

"Yeah..." Jason's voice goes quiet, not convinced. "You should, uh, you should go back in there though." Jason swallows a lump forming in his throat.

The air feels heavy and thick, stale and bitter. It's like it doesn't want to flow into your lungs with the request. Stalling is just making it harder, you can see it in the way his eyes reflect and the very hint of the tip of his nose turning red. It's not from the cold.

"This is really it, huh?" Your voice quivers with the question.

Jason nods sadly. "Yeah..." His voice is quiet and filled with guilt. Jason almost backtracks but that's not the right thing to do. So, instead, he stays honest. "Gonna miss you."

"Gonna miss you, too." You say quietly. "Just, uh, we'll be in the same city so we just...meet again later." You nod softly, almost trying to convince yourself more than Jason.

Jason nods back quickly. "Yeah, exactly. And we have Molly anyway, she'll never keep us apart." Jason laughs softly.

"You're right." You laugh back. "Be careful, Jay." You close more of the distance between you, offering your hand to him.

It is bitter. It is hard and it is sad. You both might convince yourselves it's for the best but that doesn't make this any less painful. You trust each other more than anyone in the world and you have given each other every piece of yourselves. To see the other one go in another direction feels like you're losing a piece of your own hearts. But this is something you have to do, for yourselves and each other.

"Do you want to leave this on a handshake?" Jason quips back, not wanting to leave this so sad. That was never you anyway.

"No." You laugh as you look down to your open hand before you drop it.

Leaving it on a handshake feels permanent and that is not what either of you want. Maybe time will pass and it'll be hard to come together. But maybe in that time, you'll eventually find yourselves clawing your way back to each other. You both are so positive your hearts will only ever beat for each other as if they are beacons home. You both swear this cannot be the end of you so a handshake won't work.

Jason closes the rest of the distance between you, his hands coming up to your cheeks before his lips press against yours. It's different than it was at the safehouse. It's not heated or desperate. It's not as if you both are chasing something you'll never catch up to. It is tender and soft, deep and passionate. Your hands go to his sides while Jason's thumbs rub over your cheeks. You both take the time to just savor this for all that is worth. It has to be worth something. It just has to.

Jason pulls away first, his forehead coming to yours and he doesn't dare to open his eyes, knowing the second he does, he has to leave. Jason will have to walk away from the one person who showed what unconditional love really is. He'll have to walk away so he savors it for all that he can. You sniffle against him, keeping your eyes closed and Jason knows it's time.

He pulls away just enough, pressing a kiss to your forehead as his hands trail down your neck, to your arms, and then to your hips. Before he can say another word, you pull him for a hug and his arms entirely engulf you. You think you'll never feel this warm again but you hope he'll be happy. You only hope he'll be okay. Jason Todd deserves to be happy no matter what the cost. You press a kiss to his cheek and it's you that pulls away first because you think if Jason does it, he'll always question if it were the right decision. You do it so he doesn't have to.

His eyes are red and watery but there's a firmness, a certainty, over his features. And then he nods.

"I love you." Jason says it first this time and it nearly sends you into a fit of broken sobs.

"I love you, too." You back away from him and think you might get hypothermia in seconds. "See you later, yeah?" You ask.

"'Course, can't get rid of me that easy, babe." Jason tries to lighten it but he's missing the same snark he should have. You offer a soft smile before Jason turns to walk away, only to turn around again. "Keep the necklace, by the way." Jason forces one of his cheeky smirks onto his lips. "Still always come to find you if you need me to." The smirk falls into something sweet and soft.

"You can always come find me." You nod back but this time, you manage a smile. "You and me." You shrug softly.

"You and me." Jason offers you one reassuring nod as his heart feels like it's just fallen out of his ribcage and then he turns around and makes his way down the driveway.

The next two days leave everyone starting to clean up the mess that was left in the wake of Crane's reign of Gotham. The Titans and you have taken over the manor again, getting everything clean and back to how it was before Crane took over. Jason has been at his safehouse, getting everything he needs to make it feel more like a home rather than a rundown and empty building. But after two days, the Titans are ready to leave which leaves Dick to say goodbye to Bruce. That's when Jason walks in, figuring it's his turn to have a conversation with him now that he's finally back.

Jason finds himself going back to his old room while Dick and Bruce finish up their talk. The hubcaps he stole from the Batmobile lay on his old dresser and he finds himself thinking about it. That night. He remembers the day Bruce told him about Robin and offered him the position if he were willing to train for it. It was hard and it sucked but the day Bruce gave him that suit, Jason swore it was the greatest day of his life. He remembers how happy he was as if he had finally found his purpose in this world. Not one single part of him thought he would be here today. He never thought he would have died and betrayed the people he loved. He never thought things would get here with Bruce. It was so happy and fulfilling and now it's...tarnished. Broken and shattered. He wonders what his old self would think of him now.

Bruce walks in a few minutes later, gaining Jason's attention.

"Coming here wasn't my idea." Jason immediately defends himself as he turns around to face Bruce, hoping Bruce believes him.

There's a long pause as Bruce puts his hands in his pockets. "Can you forgive me?" Bruce asks.

It is agonizing with Bruce asking. It's something Jason didn't expect, not from Bruce. A part of him, wants to ask for what? Jason can see some of the wrong Bruce did that did not help him. Some of those things did contribute to him dying and working with Crane. But, the way Jason sees it, Bruce isn't the one who needs forgiving.

Jason leans against the dressing, stuffing his own hands in his pocket before he nods softly. "But you can't forgive me." Jason shakes his head.

Bruce shakes his head back, looking to the ground. "There was a time when that would have been true, Jason, but..." Bruce shakes his head as he pauses before he looks back to Jason. "We've all grown and crossed lines, starting with me."

Bruce crossed the one line he swore he would never cross and Jason crossed it, too. He does not want to lose his son over this whole thing. Bruce knows he has a lot to make up for, thinking maybe he should have listened to what Dick was trying to explain to him since leaving. It has to start somewhere and Bruce is willing to start here. He forgives Jason for everything, no question or doubt in his mind.

"I did things I can't come back from." Jason shakes his head.

Jason knows Bruce's line. Bruce killed the fucking Joker which basically every single person in Gotham agrees was the right decision. Jason did not kill the Joker. It's different. Jason turned on Dick, Bruce's other son. This whole thing is different than what Bruce did. Jason can't erase any of it no matter how badly he wants to. The drug and the killing of his friend, the betrayal and injuries he's caused are things he can't come back from. He did horrible and unforgivable things. He can't go back and change it. He needs to just find a way to live with them now.

"Did you want to come back?" Bruce asks.

Jason looks around his room before pushing off of the dresser. "Here?" He questions as he closes some of the distance between him and Bruce, leaving a few feet between them. "No." Jason's voice is honest and soft. Jason looks to the ground. "That life is over." He says before looking back to Bruce.

Bruce lets out a sigh of understanding. "What life is next?"

"I don't know." Jason answers honestly.

"The fear that you felt, I refused to see it because it's something that you and I share." Bruce explains quietly as he gestures softly between the two of them. "It held its weight over us. But fear is a bad mentor. I wish I had had the strength to help you face yours." Bruce is quiet but honest and this is the deepest conversation they've ever had.

Jason has held resentment for Bruce but...this conversation is changing that, it's just making him feel more guilty over it. Bruce doesn't admit that he's wrong often. Part of that is Bruce is very rarely ever wrong anyway but even then, it's hard for him to admit fault. It means a lot to Jason that Bruce is taking some of the accountability for it even if Jason doesn't blame him. Dick and you were right, Bruce actually does care.

Jason looks to the ground. "When you killed the Joker, did you do that for me?" Jason asks as he looks back to Bruce.

Bruce pauses for a few seconds before he nods his head. "Yes." He answers simply. "I did."

It's all Jason needed to hear. He doesn't know what this means for them but...he'll never be able to express what it means to him for Bruce to have actually done that. For him. Before coming here, he wasn't sure what he wanted from the conversation or what to expect but it wasn't this. It's better. Jason has confirmation that he is important to Bruce, not as Robin but as Jason Todd.

"Thank you." Jason states, his words firm but tender before he walks past Bruce and leaves the room, leaving the manor.

You and the rest of the Titans are at the hangar, waiting for Dick. You might not be going with, but you're here to say goodbye and Tim is here. Tim has since told you about the whole bridge dream thing where he met Donna and Hank. Hank sacrificed himself so him and Donna could come back. It all sounded completely insane but you aren't going to argue with Tim over that. You're just happy to have them both back and alive.

"He said ten o'clock. He did say ten o'clock, right?" Kory asks, pacing near Conner.

"He said ten." Conner confirms, holding the strap of his backpack over his shoulder.

"He'll get here...eventually." Rachel laughs softly. "He always does." Rachel finishes just as they all hear honking and turn to see an RV pulling into the lane.

"Hey, did someone order a bus?" Gar questions.

The bus pulls right open to the opening of the hangar where Dick and Donna are seated in their seats. You stifle a laugh and right about now, you're pretty glad you're not going with them. Sitting in an RV with the Titans for over three days with no way to escape, does not sound fun. Though, you think they'll have a great time.

Donna and Dick get out of the bus, Dick looking very pleased with himself as he faces the rest of the Titans.

"Hey, Dick, uh, what is that?" Rachel questions as her arms are crossed over her chest.

"That's an RV." Dick states, pointing a finger back at the door with genuine happiness in his voice. "I figured it would be way more fun than taking Bruce's jet."

Everyone turns to look at the joy that could have been. You finally break, letting out a quick laugh as you shake your head. You can confirm the jet is way more fun and it's faster. But you aren't going to tell Kory that.

"Why would that be more fun?" Kory asks as if she's going to pass out.

"Roadtrip!" Gar says quickly before he turns to you. "I'm gonna..." Gar points to the RV with a large smile.

"Have fun." You laugh softly before you hug quickly. "Lemme know how Metropolis is! And fill be in on all things Superman, he's actually cool." You beam as Gar laughs and promises to let you know everything before he darts over to the RV and rushes right inside.

"Right because who would want to fly in the batjet?" Rachel quips as she makes her way to the RV.

"Exactly." Dick states, picking up some of the bags to load them up.

You stand back, watching Rachel and Gar go onto the bus. Donna and Tim are saying their goodbyes to Conner just as Blackfire drives up to the hangar, leaving Kory to say her goodbye. Dick starts loading bags into the storage compartments of the RV so you pick up one Gar left behind and bring it over.

"Not mine." You state quickly as Dick takes it from you.

"Are you sure want to stay here? Plenty of room." Dick offers kindly.

You look to the giant RV and then back to Dick. "Yeah...I think all of Gotham can see that." You quip back before letting out a soft laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure." You nod with confidence, sure of your decision. "Thanks, though."

"Jason?" Dick asks, mostly just to check this isn't about him though this time if it were, he'd entirely understand.

You shake your head. "No. We, uh, we are not speaking. We are giving each other space after everything that's happened." You answer simply. "It's home, like I said. And now I have Molly who will not shut up about me needing eyes in the sky like a Ned Leeds or Ganke." You mutter earning a questionable look from Dick. "Spider-Man thing, ask Gar." You laugh. "I have her and uh, yeah. I don't know. I just want to stay here and do my own thing." You shrug as a soft smile tugs at your lips.

"Good." Dick nods with a proud smile. "But if you change your mind or you ever need anything, we're a phone call away." Dick offers you a smile, something you don't know if you'll ever get used to. You're so used to fighting with him.

"Of course." You laugh. "I plan to harass you still." You beam up at him.

"Thanks." Dick deadpans with sarcasm.

"Thanks again though for..." You gesture broadly. "And not killing Jason. Seriously, Dick, I owe you a lot for the last couple of weeks for shit I did and the hell I gave you. So, thank you. I will deny it, but you are very good at this shit. And I'm gonna miss all of you a lot."

"Thank you." Dick says with honesty. "We'll all miss you, too." Dick nods down at her.

It's sad for him to say goodbye but he's very proud. A little worried because it's you but he's proud. Looking back at your first day at the tower to now, he's impressed and happy with how far you've come. It might have gotten messy but you never wavered. Jason died and that was horrible for you and it changed things. Dick saw that same thing in himself when his parents died. Then, you turn around and refuse to compromise your own morals even if that means making things harder on yourself. And you refuse to quit even when maybe you should. He thinks you'll do just fine no matter where you are.

You smile softly before closing the distance between you and hugging Dick softly. Once you let go, you head back over to your place inside the hangar with Tim and Donna. The three of you watch as the Titans pile into the RV, Tim looking defeated and saddened. Tim offers them a sad wave.

"For what it's worth," Donna says softly as she rubs Tim's back. "I think you would have made a pretty decent Robin."

"You would have." You add in, feeling bad for him.

It's as if he's watching all his hopes and dreams about to drive away. But then, Dick looks back at all of you, tossing his backpack onto his back.

"You coming?" Dick asks, his eyes right on Tim.

Tim's eyes nearly shoot out of his head as a smile splits his face. "Are you serious?" Tim asks.

"The question is: are you?" Dick asks back. "I mean you got some nice moves but you're gonna need proper training...if you're up for it."

Tim looks between the three of you with a smile that will likely be plastered across his face for the rest of his life.

"Go." You encourage him. As much as you don't want to see another friend join the whole vigilante thing, it's something Tim really wants and you do think he'll be a great Robin. He deserves the chance and it is a little funny to you that Dick is still plucking people off the street to join the Titans. Like father like son. "I'll look after your parents." You assure him before Tim is quick to skip over to the RV and dart inside before Dick can change his mind.

The three of you watch them finish getting onto the RV and unlike when you left San Francisco, this feels different. It felt...sadder last time like maybe it wasn't time for you to go. It wasn't time for you to leave the new family you had been brought into. You felt hopeful but sad where this time, there is still sadness but it's filled with hope. It is up to you to determine the life you want to live. It's up to you if you want to go back to the Titans and if not, that's okay because they're your family. It's up to you if you want to be Bluejay. You don't have to live with Bruce or Jason. You can just...be you. In Gotham, just as you were before. You'll have her best friend at your side and if you're lucky, maybe one day you'll have Jason, too. But, until then, you just get to exist with hope-filled hands.

prev. chapter

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

A/n: I can't believe I finally finished book 2!! I was really pushing at the end there lmao I love season 3 but it took so much out of me lol So, thank you to all of you who kept reading and big thank you to anyone who's commented and/or reblogged!! I SWEAR comments have always meant so much to me and make me want to finish lol

So with that said, book 3 will be the last book and I don't think it will be as long as 1 and 2?? But I am really excited for it!! I have a lot planned and season 4 episode 11 is canon so you'll have that to look forward to!! I've got 3 chapters already done. I'll have more info on it later with a posting date!! It won't be long between this chapter and book 3, promise!! Thank you guys so much!! 😭😭😭

Tag List: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmesss // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @urmomsgayforme5 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman// @killxz // @lovefks // @laurelthesimp // @strawberryforks // @mxtokko // @kolpvii

@logangarfield

[mostlymarvelsstuff]

Surprise Guest Star

Summary: Actress Wanda has to record a short makeup tutorial/interview for Vogue, but while doing so a certain redhead makes an appearance

Authors note: I know absolutely nothing about make up or get ready with me type of things lol, so hopefully this all sounds right

Authors note 2.0: Hopefully I did your idea justice @aliearte (I'm sorry its so short 😭)

Word count: 622 Marvel Masterlist Works Without Reader Masterlist

   Wanda situates a small camera on her vanity before making sure she has everything she needs. Satisfied she has everything she sits down and presses the record button.

   “Hi Vogue, Wanda Maximoff here to walk you through one of my favorite looks. But first it's important to do some skin prep”

   She starts to walk her fans through the proper steps, making sure to mention each product she uses by name along with how long she's used it and how it benefits her skin before she moves onto the next product and step.

   Honestly, she feels a little self conscious doing this for an audience to enjoy, as she knows she tends to make some odd faces while applying things. But she supposes that a little bit of light hearted teasing wouldn’t be a bad thing.  

   “Okay, now we’re ready for the actual makeup part” she chuckles, “And hopefully I’ll pull it off without embarrassing myself”

   She starts off with her foundation, again being sure to once again mention the product by name along with why she likes it as she applies it. Next she moves onto her concealer and repeats the process. This continues for several minutes as she goes through the various steps of her routine until she's ready to move on to her eye makeup.

   “I’m going for a bit of a smokey eye look today” she explains, refraining from adding that she's doing so because Natasha goes absolutely wild for it.

   She continues on, telling her fans what brands she uses as she starts appling and pretty soon she's so focused that she doesn’t even register the faint sound of keys jingling in the distance. Meaning she also doesn’t register Natashas footsteps as the redhead makes her way back towards the bedroom 

   “Hey detka(baby)” she greets as she enters, oblivious to what she had just interrupted. She doesn’t even register the camera as she wraps her arms around Wanda and places a kiss against her lips

   Wanda can’t help the large grin that takes over her features now that Nat is there, “Hi dorogoy(sweetheart), I missed you today”

   But before Nat can say anything in response she notices the small blinking red light, indicating that her girlfriend had been in the middle of filming something, “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” 

   Natasha takes a step back, intent on giving the brunette time and space to finish up whatever she had been doing, but Wanda had immediately missed the warmth of her presence and had quickly grabbed a hold of her hand to prevent her from retreating further

   “You aren’t interrupting, I can finish this up after I see you”

   Nat gives her a sheepish smile, “But I’m in your footage now, which means you’ll have to do some editing before sending it off to them”

   “Or, I could always just leave it in. Let all my fans see my beautiful girlfriend”

   “You don’t have to do that” she stresses, trying her best to ignore the way her cheeks were burning at just the mere thought of everyone finally knowing they were together

   “I know I don’t have to, but I want to” she reassures, “I’d love for everyone to know who has my heart”

   Natasha feels her heart swell as she sees the sincerity in her girlfriend's eyes, “You're sure? I mean, I doubt everyone will be happy with the news”

   “I’m happy with you. So I don’t care what anyone else thinks. Well, anyone other than you of course”

   “I’m happy with you too, and I don’t care what they might think either. I love you”

    Wanda smiles, “I love you too, and in a few days, everyone will know just how much.”

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 10

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 1457

Smut warning!! Masturbation only.

Masterlist

A/n: of course I figure out how to write longer chapters when there's a smutty Joe Goldberg scene involved... Also, I realized today the whole "but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you" in the summary isn't actually that "soon". I'm just having way too much fun with stalker Joe...

Radio silence.

That's what the past two weeks have been, and it's my own fault. I fucked up. I tried to push for too much too fast.

When we left the festival, everything seemed fine. I got you a cheap burger and some coffee like I promised, and I sobered you up like I promised, and I got you home safely like I promised, and everything was just great. Then, the next day, I texted you:

ME: Do you want to get dinner with me after work tonight?

And you answered:

And I told you of course but then the weekend came along and you told me you had a thing, and then the next week you were busy, and now it's been two weeks of us barely talking. You're not even that busy, (Y/n). I know because you stay in every night eating twizzlers and watching Netflix. You're not even reading, which may have been a good excuse to bail on me if the book was really, really good.

YOU: ugh!!! i can't 😭 i'm sorry this week is going to be the worst

YOU: maybe this weekend? 😁

Well, today, I'm figuring out why you won't talk to me. It's easy as pie. First, I call a plumber about a leak in your bathroom. I make sure to pick a big company, so the person on the phone definitely won't be the person who comes by. Then, after your landlady has opened the door for the guy they sent, I go in and call:

“Babe? I thought you promised you weren't gonna leave the door open anymore! Oh, hello.” I act surprised to see the plumber coming out of the bathroom. “Are you… supposed to be in here?”

“Got a call about a leak. Everything seems fine, though.”

“(Y/n)’s always saying she's sure somethings wrong in there. I keep telling her there's nothing wrong at all.” I make a motion with my hand. “She's just not strong enough to close the tap all the way.”

Your apartment is old. I really hope I'm right about your taps being old, too.

“Well, there are no leaks,” the plumber says. “And you can tell her I said so.”

“Well, thank you for coming out, anyway.”

“Yup.”

I lie on your bed for a while, breathing in your scent. Then I go into your bathroom and smell your soaps. None of this is why I came here, but I can't help myself. I'm drunk on you.

And then the guy leaves.

I am gloriously alone inside your space. It's even better up close than from a distance: your books are all well-read, and on the wall where the windows are, you've got posters of old shows and movies. You've got a cd-player underneath your window which can't be seen from outside, and a cd-pole, too. You’ve got Bowie and Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana, and you don't just have them to have them either. They're not dusty, which means you actually play them.

Finally, I find your laptop. It's underneath your bed, just where you always leave it. You never close it down properly and you don't have a password, which means I'm in.

You are logged into WhatsApp and Discord. I can read all your texts. Your e-mail is open, too. This is the history of you, right at my finger tips.

I check the time. Four pm. Another hour until you even start to go home.

First, I check your texts. You are texting right now: your mom. Or at least, you sent your last message to her ten minutes ago, and you're still waiting for an answer. It's all in Dutch, though, and if I take the time to translate everything, I'll be here for far too long.

Your texts with Nadia are the same deal. Dutch. I translate the last few, from last night, because I think you might have actually said something meaningful to her, but nope:

YOU: what colour should i dye my hair?

NADIA: No!!! You finally have your own colour back and you TOLD ME to stop you if you tried to bleach it again!

YOU: ok but what if i dont bleach it

NADIA: I will fly over there and kick your ass.

I smile. I still like Nadia.

Below that exchange, there is your work group chat. Then, there are your messages to me. You don't text a lot of people, it appears.

Your Discord is the same: a whole lot of nothing. Most of the messages are years old and while I would love to go through them sometime, to get to know a younger version of you, today is not the right day.

Your email is more interesting. You, (Y/n), have a penpal. Here's the latest in a long, long email chain:

To: Greybird@wirrhino.com

Subject: WHY AM I LIKE THIS

hey hey,

i know we haven't talked in a while (why does every email we send each other start like that omg) but i miss you, and i wanna talk to you, and i figured you don't mind getting a message at like 3 am.

how are you doing? how's your family? how's the manny-ing job going? (is that even how you say that? idk. i'm not english and i will never pretend to understand the intricacies of the jokes of this language.)

a lot has been going on with me, i'll be honest. for one, as you know, i moved to new york!!! fucking finally. we are in the same country now, which means we have to plan that road trip across the states soon. come on, grey. we've been talking about it since we were 16 and we WILL make it happen. i will murder you if you say no!!!

anyway. things are good here. ish. you know how it is. the job is jobing. i don't think anybody there really likes me. actually i'm pretty sure no one there does. it's super lonely.

at least i've made a friend! his name's joe. he works at a bookstore so you just KNOW i have a crush on him. but also he's my only friend here and i don't want to ruin that. but i kind of am ruining it bc now i'm avoiding him bc i'm 100% sure he likes me too and WHY AM I LIKE THIS, GREY?? ANSWERS ARE NEEDED! but yeah. he's really great. and cute. and ugh.

write back!! i need advice and also i need to hear about your life.

love,

(Y/n)

I have never been so happy, (Y/n). I love this Grey, whoever he is, because you told him I'm really great. And cute. And ugh.

Also, you said you have a crush on me. I knew it! You are obsessed with me. You send emails about me at three am. You think I'm great, and cute, and ugh. You are avoiding me because you want to jump my bones. You are so obsessed with me you can't stand to talk to me.

I lie back on your bed and stare at the ceiling and I'm hard. Harder than I've ever been. I press my hand against my cock and then I unzip my jeans and stroke myself and is this love, (Y/n)? Will we one day tell our children you couldn't stand to be near me because you loved me so much?

Great. And cute. And ugh.

Great. And cute. And ugh.

One day soon you will show me that email and you will be so embarrassed, but I will tell you how adorable you are. I will tell you I was in love with you from the start, from the moment we met. Then you'll kiss me and you'll ride me right on this bed, right in front of this window where anyone can see us–

I check the time again. I need to get going soon, or you're going to catch me here. One day it will be expected of me to be waiting for you after work, but that day is not today.

I come hard, all over my fingers but luckily not on anything else. Part of me wants to wipe my hand on your sheets just so you'll smell me tonight, but I know you're not ready for that.

I go and wash my hands in your bathroom. The one where there isn't any leak.

I replace your laptop, make sure your bed is exactly as it was when I came in (messy, so that's easy) and pick up a sock you left on the floor. That'll be a keepsake for me. A reminder of this day, when you told someone you had a crush on me. That I am great. And cute. And ugh.

[bloodandthestars]

request please for ex!miguel o’hara x spiderwoman reader, they have lots of romantic history from a long time ago but never told anyone (secret relationship rahhh) and Miguel ended up ending things because he has too much trauma baggage even though they have so much love for one another… but forward to current day (like when miles arrives), they always argue mainly in spanish and seem to be sworn enemies but still f buddies .. they jus so complicated 😭 love ur work sm btw <3

𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄

tags: angst. angst as hell. no spoilers! spanish speaking gn!reader

hello all! sorry, i had to deal w the brainrot that is making a spidersona. time to get back to writing miguel! i orginally saw this style of hcs and fic from @loganlermanstanaccount and wanted to try my hand at it. i did take most parts of this request and ran with it so whoops. a part two is possible however. thank you for your request, and i hope you enjoy, darling. AND TY FOR LOVING MY WORK <3

wc: 3k masterlist. credits to the artist, tbd.

You tap away at a few screens on your multi-dimensional device, walking with a crowd through the Spider Society. Another day through the labyrinth, another day to deal with a whirlwind of anomalies. Not to mention the unlimited number of Spider-Men who all need direction, and who better to carry that on his shoulders than your ex, Miguel O'Hara?

You were there since the beginning of the Spider Society through an ill-fated glitch. How Ironic, hm?

Miguel was in the middle of putting together his control center. His platform was being installed, all by his working hands.

Your arrival almost took his heart out of his chest— a whirl of colors splashing behind him not getting his attention until there was a loud *CRASH!*

He turns around, approaching the scattered heaps of documents and boxes of materials like a wary animal. White papers fell around your arching figure when he finally sees you.

You catch his eyes and he catches yours, causing him to lower the wrench that was tight in his grasp.

Jessica comes into the space, as do a few others that were starting recruits. “What the hell-? What happened, Miguel?”

“Miguel!” The second calling of his name catches his attention to Jessica. He looks to her then down to you.

You run your fingers through your hair, eyes unfocused to be swallowed in your thoughts. You continue on your way through the amalgamation of paths, twists and turns past many who do the same as you: stop the anomalies, putting the universe first. Those ideals were drilled in from the very beginning. Since you saw the effects of it firsthand, you were all for the cause.

Safe to say you were an easy addition to the team.

At first, you wanted to just find a way home. That’s what would come first. Miguel didn’t mind that. If you weren’t here to stay, then why bother with the insignificant?

That was until an emergency hit the infant spider society on all sides

Your ears were pierced with screams of fear as soon as you pushed through the portal. You looked around frantically at what you could through the rushing crowd. It was another version of Paris, with the Eiffel Tower replaced with a large monument made of stone. Not many places to attach webs in an open area. Shit.

Miguel barks out orders to the other two Spider-people on the scene. When his eyes look at you, they narrow. You immediately tense. Was it a fight you were preparing for? You didn’t have time to think about it when a device was thrown your way. You catch it with ease— an item to wear around your wrist.

And before he thwiped away you hear: “If you’re going to be here, you might as well be useful.”

You weren’t sure whether to take that as a vote of confidence or not— you go with not.

A version of the Goblin, made of some kind of glass crystal material. His hoverboard emitted light on himself that he uses to his advantage to blind others when they get close.

The searing white obstructed the vision of one Spider-person, causing them to misplace a step on the monument. Webs snap under the concrete they were trying to keep from falling. Your stomach turned— it was time for action.

Using your webs on the crumbling monument, you catapulted yourself to the solid rock. Webs sprouted from your capsules and slid under the concrete. Before the rock’s weight can take you down entirely, you shot out a web to the top of the monument and pulled as much as your strength could muster.

You could your veins pulse as you held on. People scattered as much as they can before the webs bounce under the heavyweight. A man tried to help his wife up from a broken ankle. If they didn’t move from the area, an ankle wouldn’t be the only thing that was broken. Or worse, and you couldn’t have that.

The tendrils of your webbing began to snap, maybe you could try to web more before it—

Red lining shoots out, going under the rock to give support. Miguel skid to a stop next to you, ordering through gritted teeth. “Go!”

You dove down from above, bouncing off the piece and webbing the couple’s backs. You gave a sharp pull. They whisk by and into your arms as you slide to a stop. Miguel can see there are no civilians in the way and let's go with a gasp of air.

Your eyes snapped to the piece of concrete as it falls. When it gets closer to the ground, you webbed over to it to break it to pieces— lessening its impact when it falls.

Within a second of catching your breath, Your gaze went back up to Miguel’s. He gave you a short nod. You returned it, pulling a web out to join the fight at the top of the monument.

From there, you’ve been a part of the team. Starting on small missions and quickly going from there.

Your wrist device lights up and captures your attention. Miguel’s unmasked face looks at you with a hardened look. “I’ll need your assistance with an anomaly case. You know where to go.”

And that’s exactly how he speaks to you now. Straight to the point, no time for idle chit-chat. You exhale through your nose. “Alright.”

Returning from the attack for the Goblin, You and Miguel caught your breath once the portal closed.

You glanced over to Noir and Jessica, who had the said anomaly tied and ready to be contained.

“You sure disco ball over there is secure?” You asked dusting off your suit. “Yes.” Miguel responded. “Good enough excuse to see how our holding pods will work.”

You gave a nod, looking off to see them take the Goblin away. You caught “Now as for adjustments…” from the voice next y to you and turn. You thought he was talking to you, but instead, he had a hand over his mouth. It took you a moment to realize what he was muttering to himself.

“¿Te balbuceas a tí mismo todo el tiempo?”

Miguel’s head snaps over to you with wide eyes. They turn slender in slight curiosity. “¿Hablas español?”

You gave him a light shrug, but the smirk on your face was evidence enough for him. You were close to tensing under his gaze— until he let out an amusement huff.

“¿Qué otras cosas guardas bajo la manga?”

“No te puedo revelar todos mis trucos, ¿o si?” You gave him a small smile.

He returned it.

Now, Miguel looks at you sternly before his image flickers out. You click your tongue, beginning to make your way to his control center.

You had dated for two years— entirely in secret, mind you.

There was the important cause for safety, but another excuse was simply because the seclusion suited you both.

As the day went by, you were two colleagues. Side by side on a mission, working with each other going off of a few glances.

If you desired to speak to only each other, you'd speak in Spanish. A passing compliment, a question on anomaly details, what to have for dinner that night. The world didn't exist then.

By night, a gentle hand would rest on Miguel’s shoulder, causing it to lose its built tension. In the quiet of the space, you’d whisper. “Let’s get some rest.”

At first, it would take some coaxing but as time went on, he would be by your side before you could get the words out.

Your place or his, it was a switch between the two. Either way, you’d feel the weight of his body sink into yours. All his exhaustion comes to fruition behind closed blinds.

Sometimes if it weighed too much, you’d fall onto the couch with your suits still on. If he had a bit of energy, you’d get out of them and then take loaded steps towards the bedroom.

Your favorite nights were when he fell asleep before you. A chuckle escapes your lips when you turn back, only to see him sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Gently, you’d brush his strands from his face, bathing in the rare sight that was a calm expression. The tips of your fingers graze the strong height of his cheek, lingering there as if to savor the moment a bit longer.

It was in these secluded moments that you’d pull the cover over his scarred back. Where you’d lay next to his larger figure, close but barely touching. Fingers grazing each other at best.

His struggles with opening up weren’t anything new to you. It took a lot of power to be vulnerable, to take that chance. So you took it one step at a time.

Those days weren’t long gone, however, you both made progress as time went by.

Fingers grazing each other became hand-holding. Hand holding then turned into him capturing your body in one swoop of his arm and securing you to his form.

And it was here you felt the most secluded. Because only you could see that neutral expression of sleep turn into a relaxed one. Where you could feel his need through the grip of his arm in the depths of the night, and not tell a soul.

He could have called anyone else. It's a proposition that only occurs to him after he makes communications with you. By the time you show up in his space, the idea is long forgotten.

Miguel turns around just in time to see you arrive. You lean your weight on your foot, hip out with a hand resting on it. “What’s the situation, O’Hara?”

O’Hara. He would have thought that sting would numb away by now.

You swing up to his platform, catching your landing out of the corner of his eye. With a few buttons pressed on the hologram, he swipes it in your direction without looking at you. “We got an anomaly on the move. Lyla’s attempting to track it now using the intel gathered.”

Your hand stops the hologram, opening it with your palm. In a gold hue, an image of a Mysterio lights up. A model of him spin for your view, some kind of blue flame for a head. Details of his face were in the fire, filled with an ego that seemed to span many universes.

“I remember this one.” You say, fingers swiping through logs. You stop at one, then push it in his direction. “Android from Earth 1610. Not his first time trying his hand at this.”

“You’ve been dealing with him before?” Miguel asks with sternness in his voice. He knew it was there and ever evident.

From your tone, it seems you caught it too. “From his glitch into a different universe. We returned him back to his own but it looks like he’s trying his hand at multiverse travel.”

The taller man scoffs, muttering under his breath. “Great.”

To no one’s surprise, you picked that up. Your voice grew in intensity. "What?”

Miguel finally turns around. With stern eyes, he looks at you and his stomach feels like it’s gotten hit with a ton of bricks. It’s exactly what he was afraid of, hence him never sparing you a glance when called to his station. It didn’t show on his face however, he wouldn’t allow it to.

“That means it could have gotten handled ages ago by simply sticking him somewhere he couldn’t get out.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “That was the beginning, we didn’t know any better. Now we do. It’s called growth, Miguel.”

He held the audacity to roll his eyes. You’re quick to speak. “We don’t expect them to become nuisances.”

“But it could’ve been avoided.”

“Of course, it could have. Emphasis on could. It’s just something we couldn’t predict.”

“Oh? Really?” A bit of edge appears in his voice again. “He’s a villain! It’s second nature!”

You take a step up to him, finger pointed in his direction. “We followed your protocol! You can’t predict everything, Miguel!”

You were there for the best parts

And you were there for…for the worst parts

The parts where in the thresholds of sleep, you swore you could hear him mutter her name, and his arm clutch around you even tighter.

The parts that were once fruitful moments of communication, ended in distance due to his growing anger.

The parts that held you both up at night, Miguel finding another thing to pick apart, to worry about, to enclose you from.

A picture of two you couldn't see. A toy box collecting dust in his apartment closet.

You were there…till the very end.

“Miguel, I just don’t understand why this is an issue.” You hold the bridge of your nose before letting go and addressing him with unwavering eyes. “Noir says you’ve been at this for months, we have a lead-”

“Into a universe that is on the brink of collapsing!” “That’s why the anomaly would go! To hide in plain sight of a possible disaster!”

“No, absolutely not.” Miguel shook his head, already final in his mind. “One wrong move and you’ll end up like-” It was like all the color drained from his face.

“Like who, Miguel?”

Your question stopped him cold, hard eyes glancing at you. “You know who.”

He pushed away the thought of you hearing him in his sleep when the sun comes up. But deep down he always knew. He always knew that you knew something was going on with him. And he could see that you were trying so *hard* to be patient with him.

With every frustrated huff to end the conversation, every turn away from you, you were unmoving. Waiting. Giving him all the time in the world that deep down, he knew he didn’t deserve.

This conversation ends like the others, with a clenched jaw wanting to spill out everything he can but never finding the words to do so. Leaving you there in the dead silence where you feel the most alone.

You shut your eyes, trying not to waste any more tears on another fruitless conversation. A sigh slips past your lips. “I can’t keep doing this, Miguel.”

His head looks back to you with wide eyes. Those eyes slowly narrow, with words coming out like the very venom he creates. “Then leave.”

Those words still pierce your heart as if it was yesterday. You shut your eyes, shaking your head to push the familiar feelings from bubbling in your chest. Even with the attempt of calm, he persisted.

“No. I can’t.” He sounded like he was just saying it just to say it. “But I sure as hell can prevent potentially dangerous messes from coming back— like this one!”

Emotion erupts inside you all over again, breaking what little restraint you put together. Like a twig snapped under the slightest edge of pressure. You fell into that same routine all over again. “You’re being completely unreasonable to the people who-"

He held the bridge of his nose, voice not losing its hard edge. “Do you remotely have an idea of how many anomalies have to be taken care of in a week? In a day? When I want something taken care of, I expect it to be.”

“You’re always expecting perfection, some kind of straight path you can control. Is that why you got rid of me-?”

Your gasp quickly stops you from speaking further— but it was already too late. Miguel’s eyes snap up to you, wide at your exclamation. You place a hand over your mouth with panicked eyes. The silence was what made it worse, feel it wrap around your neck and cause a hard, painful lump in your throat. You know he watches as you turn away from him.

“Then leave.” Those words still plague his mind as if it was yesterday. As if he didn’t have enough piling onto his shoulders, he had to go and lose you too. The one thing that—some days—was keeping that very mind together.

Something aches within him. His heart grows heavy in its weight. He turns his head, closing his eyes to take a breath. Many things haunted him, whether it be his own failings or the atrocities he’s seen throughout dimensions. He didn’t expect to, nor never wanted to add you to the list. You became another person that slipped from his fingertips.

You take a deep breath, wiping your face with a shaky hand. When you turn back, he’s collected himself. His gaze was now devoid of frustration as it was set upon you. Instead, it was filled with something else, something different. You exhale to make your brain know to say something. Miguel parts his lips. In a soft mutter you begin to recognize, he says. “I didn’t get-"

Your senses go off, turning your body away from his to see Peter B. and one of Jessica’s come around the corner. Your eyes remain on them, forcing themselves onto them. You calm your breathing with a hard swallow. Miguel felt something twist in his stomach once you turn away. A heaviness weighed at his tongue, lips still parted for what he wanted to tell you. But you had eyes on you now, curious looks that could grow into something more if he didn’t follow your lead.

He blinks a few times, turning to face the other two Spider-people with a locked jaws. How’d he’d be able to speak with his throat feeling non-existent was a feat in itself. Your eyes are kept to the ground until you take a deep breath. They raise, your feelings being pushed down once again. And you stand next to each other, with what felt like a world’s distance between you, miraged by only a couple feet.

taglist: @manchuria @kokomaii @rea-zxv @vvitcxen @pooiooi @jowtaro @miguelsfangs @vegas-writing-den @m150-50up

“¿te balbuceas a tí mismo todo el tiempo?” — you mumble to yourself like that all the time?

“¿hablas español?” — you speak spanish?

“¿qué otras cosas guardas bajo la manga?” — just what else do you have up your sleeve?

“No te puedo revelar todos mis trucos, ¿o si?” — I can’t just reveal all my tricks to you, now can I?

[gyumibear]

✂️ three's a crowd — 00: my clematis

synopsis — being an ex-obsessive fan is hard, but you've been doing well so far. that is until your rival is revealed to be dating choi soobin, the idol you've been dreaming of for years! so, now your road to recovery is detoured because you're not going to let that slide. you're going to break them apart at all costs. doesn't she know three's a crowd?

taglist — open! send an ask or comment on the main masterlist to be added! @imsiriuslyreal

warnings — violation of hippa laws 😭, mentions of mental illness (codependency, obsession, parasocial relationships), allusions to suicidal thoughts and mentions of violence.

(wc — 1.5k)

It is our intention to include a transcript of the therapeutic sessions run by Dr. [REDACTED] with his client [REDACTED]. These transcripts are protected by doctor-client confidentiality laws (HIPPA) and should only be accessed by the verified person(s). Please call [xxx-xxx-xxxx] if you are in fear of those laws being violated. 

August 24, 2019 / #Session 1

Note: C refers to client [REDACTED] while T refers to Dr. [REDACTED].

T: Hello, [REDACTED], it’s nice to see you today. 

C: I’m only here because [REDACTED] wants me to be.

T: And might I ask who that is? Is he your father?

C: He’s my cousin, in a way. He’s more like a brother though.

T: Is he your legal guardian?

C: Yes, but only for a few more days. I’m about to turn 18 soon.

T: I’ll note that down. Well, thanks for coming, and I’m happy to help you. First, I want to go over a few things with you. I just want you to know that everything we talk about here is confidential. 

C: Obviously. You’d get sued if you didn’t keep things between us.

T: *Dry laugh* You’re correct. Let’s start talking, what happened today that brought you here?

C: Hm.

T: Feel free to start whenever you’re comfortable, [REDACTED].

C: I pushed a girl down a flight of stairs.

T: Did she do something to anger you? Why did you push her?

C: She said that [REDACTED] is the weakest member of [REDACTED].

T: Can you enlighten me as to who that is? Is he a celebrity?

C: Yes, my favorite! He’s the leader of [REDACTED] which is a K-Pop group.

T: Ah, right. Why did her comment about him upset you so much?

C: Because he’s the love of my life? She was spewing absolute bullshit and she doesn’t even know him. Not like I do. I know how hard [REDACTED] works, how much he does for the group and the other members. She deserved to get put in her place.

T: Hold on, [REDACTED]. You said he’s the love of your life? Can you explain that?

C: He is. We’re gonna get married one day. I know it.

T: Let’s dig deeper into this, okay? Tell me more about [REDACTED].

September 28, 2019 / Session 3

C: So, I doxxed her, and I got her expelled.

T: All because she said she preferred [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]?

C: Yeah! I like [REDACTED] and all, but the best member will forever be my [REDACTED]. He’s not the leader for no reason, Dr. [REDACTED].

T: I understand how you feel, but [REDACTED], she is allowed to have her own opinion. You can understand that, correct?

C: She can. That doesn’t mean she won’t face the consequences for them.

T: Hm.

January 4, 2020 / Session #10

T: Welcome back, [REDACTED]. How was your Christmas?

C: It was pretty good, [REDACTED] bought me two [REDACTED] albums. I pulled [REDACTED] of course. It’s because he loves me. He made sure I got his PCs.

T: Hm. Have you been taking your medication regularly?

C: …

T: [REDACTED]?

C: No. I just… forgot. [REDACTED] got really mad at me over the break and I felt like he was gonna leave me and I- I just couldn’t focus on anything else.

T: Why did he get upset with you?

C: I spent the rent money on some [REDACTED] merch cause his birthday was coming up. December 5.  He had to call [REDACTED] and ask him to pay this month. They both were really pissed at me, [REDACTED] was the angriest though. I felt bad, like genuinely bad about it.

T: When you say bad, do you really mean sad?

C: Yeah… I just, I don’t ever want him to be mad at me. He’s all I have… But, it’s like… When it comes to [REDACTED] I just can’t control myself. It’s like I’d [REDACTED] if he asked me to.

T: Do you want to [REDACTED]?

C: Sometimes.

March 4, 2020 / Session #14

C: Lately, I’ve just been feeling… Empty? Today’s supposed to be a happy one, cause it’s their one-year anniversary, but I just… Don’t feel anything?

T: Why do you think that is? Did something happen?

C: My classmate recently started biasing him and she actually met him. She ran into him at the convenience store or something and he… talked to her.

T: Continue.

C: At first I thought she was lying, just to piss me off, but… She pulled out her phone and she showed a whole group of us. He took a picture with her and she said he even called her pretty…

T: How did that make you feel when you heard that?

C: Pretty upset. I didn’t do anything to her though, I just walked away.

T: That’s good, [REDACTED]. I’m glad nobody got hurt.

C: Doesn’t mean I didn’t want to hurt her.

T: I understand, but we’re working on that, now aren’t we?

C: Yes. Yes, we are.

August 5, 2020 / Session #25

T: Woah, [REDACTED] you seem very upset today.

C: I’m not in the mood Doc.

T: Would you mind telling me why?

C: [REDACTED] has dating rumors. With this random bitch [REDACTED]. Literally, just because they’re working together as emcees does not mean they’re dating! He wouldn’t do that. He knows that would crush me.

T: [REDACTED], you remember [REDACTED] doesn’t know you, right?

C: That’s not true! He responded to my message on [REDACTED]. Twice. He knows me.

T: Oh dear. [REDACTED], I’m sorry. That was out of line on my part.

C: It’s fine, just don’t say that again. I’m already in a bad mood.

April 16, 2022 / Session #x 

Note: C stopped seeing T for a few years due to her time in [REDACTED] after an incident in which she [REDACTED] after an altercation with her classmate. A few of her files were lost, these were the earliest we could find.

C: I’m going to [REDACTED] for University. It took a lot of hard work, but I’m gonna study fashion! [REDACTED] is paying my tuition, but I’m gonna work so I can pay him back.

T: That’s a good idea, [REDACTED]. I’m proud of you.

C: It is a little scary though…

T: What’s scary?

C: Being away from [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. Cause I have to move into a dorm, I’m not going to see them every day like usual… I’m a bit nervous. I think it’s my separation anxiety.

T: That could be it. Let’s talk more about this. 

May 31, 2022 / Session #x

T: This is the last time I’m going to be seeing you regularly, [REDACTED]! 

C: Yeah, it feels like it was just yesterday when I met you for the first time.

T: How are you feeling? Been keeping up with your meds?

C: Yep! I’ve been feeling pretty okay! When I start feeling bad I just remember the exercises and the practices you taught me and I work around them. I’m healed, basically.

T: You were never broken, [REDACTED]. You just needed some guidance. You are doing exceptionally well, but don’t start slacking off. We don’t want you to relapse.

C: Yeah, I got you Doc. I’m gonna be on my best behavior!

T: I believe as much. So, what music do you have to share with me this week?

C: I’ve been listening to [REDACTED]! She’s so cool, she makes me wanna learn how to play an instrument.

T: That’d be a good hobby, don’t you think?

C: Yep. Also, Doc..?

T: Yes, [REDACTED]? You look concerned?

C: I, um… I saw some photos of [REDACTED] online… I blocked all the tags that I could, but I guess they just slipped through.

T: That’s alright. these things happen. How did you feel about that?

C: I felt like screaming. I don’t know how to describe it, but it wasn’t a good feeling. So I turned my phone off and I went to go talk to [REDACTED] about it.

T: Is that fully true?

C: …

T: [REDACTED], please tell me the truth.

C: Hm… No.

T: What did you really do?

C: I binge-watched all the fancams I could find of him…

T: Is that all?

C: I also argued with some people online… But then [REDACTED] came and he distracted me.

T: *Sighs* Let’s have another session tomorrow, I want to investigate something.

C: Okay…

August 1, 2023 / Session #x

T: You’re going back to school soon. How do you feel?

C: Fine. It’s just school, you know?

T: Mhm. How’ve you been feeling?

C: Fine. I spent the weekend at [REDACTED]’s so I’m pretty out of it, haha.

T: I see. Did you keep up with your medicine?

C: Do you even need to ask? Of course. I haven’t missed a day in months.

T: I’m very proud of you. Why did you schedule this meeting though, might I ask?

C: I dunno… I just felt like I should.

T: That’s okay! I’m here for you for that very reason. So, tell me what’s on your mind?

C: There’s this girl who’s supposed to be my roommate… I don’t like her.

T: What’s her name?

C: [REDACTED]. She’s a music major.

T: What don’t you like about her?

C: She just… Seems fake? There’s something off and it makes me feel weird.

T: Hm… When was the first time you two interacted?

C: Well… Let’s see…

Note: End of recovered transcripts.

a/n — this was just a simple prologue/teaser to show what yn's mental state is like! i've never done therapy transcripts so i'm sorry if they're an inaccurate portrayal? let me know if there's something that needs to be tagged or changed.

playlist / masterlist / next

© GYUMIBEAR. do not repost, modify or translate my work onto other social media sites.

[nerdieforpedro]

12/17/2023 Weekend Update

We’re halfway through December already! The year will be over soon, so weird but it does happen every year. Anyhow, let’s get started.

Nerdie, you’ve got some new graphics. It looks…the pickle is starting at me.

Is it? Eh, it probably feels like it. I’ve been playing around on Canva after looking through other people’s accounts and masterlists. I’ve made some progress. The lists I’ve updated so far:

Dieter Bravo Masterlist (Betty liked this one so I’m leaving it as is.)

Frankie Morales Masterlist. (I found a side profile pic that screamed Frankie to me, I made it the largest picture.)

Joel Miller Masterlist (He screams to me that he drinks whiskey so it’s on his page also I edited the middle picture because you gotta understand how broad he is)

Dave York Masterlist (The Dave I wrote is a sadistic man who might be softening a little. I might have gotten a soft pic or two in there.)

What else have you been up to this week Nerdie?

Session Three of the Sard’ika Sessions went up. We’re half way through Space Buddies. I want to thank everyone who’s been reading and following along. Your comments and reblogs are always very sweet and have some great takes.

We did a Fic Authors Self rec this week in the tag games and we all gave five of our own fics we would recommend to readers. If you’re a writer and would like to do some signal boosting, you can try it out as well.

I was in the mood for some Dieter Bravo this week. I read quite a few fics with him in it and I somehow forgot that I had written a second chapter of my Dieter Bravo series that I started a couple months back. 😅 Yup, too many WIPs and not enough focus will do that.

The series is revolves around Dieter and our OFC Maya who is traveling to her younger brother’s destination wedding. She meets Dieter and chaos ensues. I made Dieter a goat papa and Dee may have an issue with the man who plays Poe Dameron. I won’t say his name because Dieter doesn’t react well to it at all.

Both chapters are on the Dieter Bravo Masterlist. I am working on chapter three. No clouds were harmed in the creation of the chapter.

How do you forget you started a series Nerdie?

Well, I kept reading others people’s fics, starting WIPs based off of different ideas and it fell off. I have three other series that are “paused” too. I haven’t had any ideas for them.

Plus I have two different challenges to work on and that are due soon.

What are those?

One is that pickle staring at you: The Pickled Peña challenge. Open to all writers who wanna try it. Have some fun trying to figure out a Peña pickle. Instructions are in the hyperlink above.

The other challenge is, well, involves Pedro characters, we were assigned one to get pegged. It’s the Peg That Middle Aged Man or PTMAM 2024. Go big, go forth and peg on! I think, but I have an outline. So, yeah… 😭 Totally on goal there.

We should know by know not to ask, it never goes where we think it’s gonna go. What else?

We spoke in our group about astrological signs. We had a very good discourse led by @goodwithcheese who told us what our sweaty palms looked like and gave us more insight. Pretty fun actually, I pondered I pondered hard.

I started another WIP (because it feels like I start a new one every 3 days) about Joel and Layla from my Sugar series. Them at Christmas, Joel spending more time with her family, what happened when he met them the first time, where they are now. The nylons will make a return, because I’m not sure I can see Joel without them now when I write him. It started out being @morallyinept ‘s fault but it’s all mine now. I won’t shift blame on that one.

Is there anything else Nerdie?

Just one more thing, I made volume 4 of my fanfic author recommendations so please check out their work and make sure to reblog. 😊

Stay warm, hydrated and safe,

Love Nerdie ❤️

[gemini-sensei]

Omg I absolutely loved pt 2😭

If you’re up for writing a third part then I have a couple ideas, maybe after a few days Eli talks things over with demetri and like assures him that he still wants to be friends

And he explains that his feelings for his sister don’t have to impact their friendship.

If you wanna make it nsfw then maybe Eli could offer to help demetri get things out of his system, but really that’s up to you haha!

I literally love your work sm like you’re one of my fav writers😭

Ah 😭😭 you're words are too kind! And I'm sorry this took so long to get to! I hope this is okay.

This is Demetri focused ○ Side Eli x Reader ○ Y/N used

CW: mlm smut (I don't usually write mlm smut, so I hope I did it well), rough sex, one sided feelings, angst smut blurb. (unedited)

A/N: this is a little pt. 3 to a little blurb duo I did a few weeks ago. They're not linked here because I'm on mobile rn, but they will all be linked in my masterlist soon 💖

"Look, man, I hope this doesn't make things weird between us," Eli starts. It's been a few days since the incident and he's hardly come around. Demetri thought that meant their friendship was truly, actually over. He wouldn't have blamed him if it was. "I don't want it to make things weird, okay? It's no big deal."

Demetri wants to disagree, that it's quite a big deal. He feels like a fool, though, so he keeps quiet on it. He hums and nods. "Yeah."

It's a feeble agreement, as he understands that they're not going to actually mention in detail what happened. It's going to go unspoken, a secret they take to their graves in all likelihood. If they never talk about it again, he's sure he can live with that.

"So we're cool?" Eli asks.

Demetri looks at him, offering a smile. "Yeah, we're cool."

Bounding footsteps come from the stairs and both look over, seeing Y/N appear. She's dressed up a little more than casual with a bright smile on her face. If it wasn't for the circumstances, Demetri might have forgotten she was home. However, he knew Eli hadn't come over to hangout with him, not today.

"Okay, I'm ready," she giggles.

Eli smiles at her and extends his hand to her. She grabs it and their fingers interlace. The way they look at each other is pure despite the filth they spoke the other night. He starts to lead her to the door, taking her away for a date that'll probably end with them at his house.

Demetri stands awakrdly, waving them off. Eli says some parting words about seeing him later, but doesn't say when that will be. Before he knows it, they're gone and he's all alone. Once Eli's car pulls out of the driveway, heavy feelings fall over Demetri like a wet blanket. It weighs him down to sit on the couch, mind racing with thoughts.

All he wants to do is take his mind off of Eli, but it's as if he's the sun and every single one of Demetri’s thought revolve around him. He tries to push them all away, but it's hard, so he decides the best thing to do was to call a friend over.

The only person that came to mind was the only boy he's ever kissed...

○●○

Within the hour, Demetri's face is shoved into his bedsheets, ass in the air as he gets pounded into. He whines and whimpers, low lip caught between his teeth so hard that he's sure there will be a mark when they're done. He's scared he'll say something wrong, say the wrong name, so he opts to keep his mouth shut as tightly ad possible.

His legs are shaking under him, the bed rocking with their movements. He feels strong hands buried in his thick hair, holding it tightly to keep him down. His cock bobs uselessly as it hands hard between his thighs, leaking pre cum all over the bedsheets.

Then it starts becoming too much and he moans loudly. "Miguel! Right there!"

Miguel's other hand grips Demetri’s pale hip tightly, pushing in hard with low grunts. He angles his movements to hit the spot again and again, wanting to hear his friend cry out for him like that more.

"You like it when I'm rough with you, don't you?"

Demetri's knuckles are white as he claws at the bedsheets, pulling them off of the mattress as he cries out. "Yes! Yes, I do!"

Miguel smacks his ass hard, making Demetri's body jolt forward. His chest presses against the bed, bowing his back and really presenting himself to his friend. He begins to drool as he sits there, taking it, and barely able to move back against the hard, lovely thrusts.

His mind is blank, which is just what he wanted.

[idyllic-ghost]

title: Take Care of Me? pairing: san x afab!reader genre: smut, fluff, established relationship, non-idol!au, uni au warnings: praise kink, oral (f and m receving), unprotected sex (pls wrap it up pls), sub/dom dynamic, reader is afab but gender neutral otherwise synopsis: San doesn't do relationships. At least that's what he used to think. When you came into his life, he changed his ways and let down his walls. You give him the opportunity to fully relax in every way. wordcount: 3.4k

rating: 18+

a/n: this is my first time writing a male sub pls be nice idk how to do this😭😭 honestly might be the filthiest thing i’ve written bc i usually do very fluffy smut.. i think i blacked out while writing bc when rereading it i kept thinking that i couldn’t have written this

join my taglist

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He found himself in your arms again. You were lying with your back against the armrest of the couch, and San had taken his place on top of you. Never in his life had he imagined someone running their fingers through his hair could feel this amazing. But here he was, and he was melting into your touch. You were talking about something, and although San tried to listen he couldn't bring himself to. His focus was far gone. The way that your fingers gently scratched at his scalp, and the vibration he could feel coming from your chest every time you spoke, was enough to almost put him to sleep. You had him entierly relaxed, even his brain. In fact, as soon as he had stepped through the door to your apartment, his entire body relaxed to the scent of you surrounding him.

Of course, you had no idea that San felt this way. In fact, you had no idea that he acted differently around you than he did around others. The two of you met in one of your university courses. You had been sitting behind him, and he turned around to ask you for a pencil. He was charming, but a bit arrogant. When you spoke to him, acting like an average person does to a complete stranger, he was surprised that you didn't know him. You had obviously apologized and asked if you had met before, but he answered with a shrug and said that "everyone knew him". That might have been true, but you were never one to socialize much. You told him this and he hummed, trying not to seem slightly disappointed.

From then on, when you had a lecture he sat down next to you. He started talking to you more regularly. Eventually, he walked with you around campus, and the two of you even started having lunch together. San asked you out after a few weeks of knowing you, but you declined. It was clear that he wasn't usually rejected, but he stayed respectful to you. Your friendship continued, and you started hearing more about his reputation. Despite learning this, you didn't stop hanging out with him. In your eyes, he had been nothing but kind and respectful. It surprised San, but he never remarked on it to you.

After a few months of friendship, San started to change. He went out less, just to hang out with you more. Over time, you developed feelings for him. And when you confessed, he reciprocated. Your relationship was slow, as both of you were trying to navigate a completely new situation. He had never been in a committed relationship, and you didn't have much experience. But so far it was working out.

It was different the first time you had sex. After knowing San for so long, he seemed strangely tense in the situation. Despite him being more experienced, you were the one who ended up comforting him. He kept acting in ways that you didn't recognize as him. That evening you didn't get very far. Both of you ended up just going to sleep instead of continuing. You thought it was your fault, that you weren't good enough for him. At the same time, San felt horrible about not being able to perform well enough for you. However, the two of you talked it through the next day - a plus about being so close before getting together was that you weren't afraid of having these conversations.

San told you of his past partners wanting him to "take control", and he had only assumed you expected the same. Once you communicated that it wasn't anything you wanted, you tried again. San was still a bit tense, but you were both at least able to orgasm. And as you had been riding out your high, you had said something that threw him off guard, that had sent him over the edge as well. As you came, his ear had been right by your lips and he heard you whisper "such a good job" and "my good boy". He didn't mention it afterward, but he couldn't stop thinking about it.

But now San was in your embrace. Safe, comfortable, and happy. And he shouldn't be thinking about it, but he was. Your hands ventured from his hair to his back, rubbing soft circles on his over his sweatshirt.

"San?" you asked in a careful tone, like you were questioning if he was asleep.

He hummed in response, yet kept his eyes closed - far too lost on cloud nine to acknowledge you any more.

"I need to go to the bathroom, could you get up?",you patted the back of his head.

"Noo, I'm so comfy..." San whined.

"I know, baby, but I'll be back in a second," you cooed at him.

"Ugh, fine." He sat up and let you get up.

"Good boy," you said, jokingly - even going so far as to chuckle about it afterwards and petting his cheek.

It was clear you were only joking, but San's entire world came crashing down as you said those two words. You walked away from him unaware of what you had done. San felt his cock twitch under his clothes. He couldn't help it, his mind started running. Of course, he liked it when people praised him but it was different when you did it. He imagined what it would feel like to eat you out, hearing you moan out how good he was making you feel. Or what it would be like if you were to jerk him off while whispering about what a good boy he was. This made him think of you riding him, letting you take control and take care of him.

Without realizing it, he had put his hand in his sweatpants and had begun caressing his dick over his underwear. He just needed some sort of friction, he was too hard to just "forget about it". But no matter how much his hand rubbed and his hips bucked up, he couldn't get off. He wasn't in the right mind to do it properly, his brain completely melted from your cuddles and the thoughts of the nasty things you could do to him. He was so long gone that he didn't hear you leave the bathroom.

"Uh... San?" you said, standing by the end of the couch again.

He stopped, looking up at you with big teary eyes. As you approached him, San fell back on the couch, his head hitting a pillow. From beside him, he grabbed another pillow to put over his crotch. You sat down in front of him again, putting a hand on his leg.

"Are you okay?" you asked with so much sincerity that San almost started crying from just that.

"I'm sorry-"

"Why are you sorry?" You gave him a soft smile as your hand rubbed comforting circles on his thigh. "I mean, it's a little odd to try to get off in my living room when I'm not here - but that's not my point. Why are you tearing up?"

San brought a hand up to his eyes, surprised to wipe a tear away from there. His face grew red. He had been so needy that he almost started crying.

"I need you," he admitted shyly.

"This randomly?" You chuckled. "Did something happen? Why are you like this now all of the sudden?"

"I just..." he muttered, "Promise to not think I'm weird?"

"I don't think you're weird, baby, I could never."

"... I want you to take care of me?" he admitted hesitantly.

"Take care of you? What would that entail?" you asked, sounding more and more intrigued.

"I want to..." San struggled to get the words out, and had to pause for a moment before he could continue. "I want you to call me... your good boy."

You recalled the past few times you had called him that. Honestly, it always just slipped out. You didn't mean to do it, but had you known he liked it you would have done it sooner. With a stern hand, you grabbed the pillow over his crotch and tried to yank it away.

"No, please, Y/N... it's embarrassing," San whined and held the pillow in place.

"If you want me to take care of you, I have to see your little problem first," you told him and he removed the pillow. "There's a good boy."

At your teasing tone, San let out another whimper. You looked at his hard cock through his sweatpants. There was a wet patch where the head of his cock was, coming from all the precum leaking out of him. You gently rubbed his hard shaft over his pants. San began to whimper and threw his head back on the pillow. His hand flew to his mouth to stop any lewd noises from getting out. It was very different from his usual performance during sex, but it was very appreciated.

"Don't hide, baby," you said. "Let me hear you."

You helped San slide his pants off as he held his hips up for you. After placing a soft kiss on his hipbone, you pulled his underwear off as well. Now he was left in only his sweatshirt. The sight was oddly endearing. Your boyfriend lying all splayed out for you, while shyly covering half of his red face with his hands, was a sight for sore eyes. He was extremely hard, his pink tip already leaking with precum.

"Oh, my poor baby..." you cooed. "Don't worry, I'll take such good care of you."

You surprise yourself in how easily you've settled in this role - but it had always been somewhat of a fantasy of yours to take complete control. San is writhing underneath you as you gently pump his cock in your hand. Spreading the precum over your hand, you use it as make-shift lube for the time being.

"Please, don't tease me..." he whined.

"I'm sorry, love." You smiled at him as if you weren't torturing his hard member at this very second. "You're just so pretty. I need fully appreciate you."

Something about the way he moans out your name when you take him in your mouth has your thighs clenching to find some sort of relief. You bob your head up and down his, as his whines grow louder. He didn't fully fit in your mouth, and you took the last bit of him with your hand instead. When you looked up at him, his eyes were shut tight, his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure, and his mouth hung open to release the most beautiful sounds you had ever heard. Your mouth let go of his length with a pop, and San began bucking his hips into your hand. With your saliva all over him, you started jerking him off quicker.

"Stay still," you commanded. "Or you don't get to cum."

You don't know where it came from, but the demand fell so naturally from your lips. San's eyes shot open, and he began squirming in desperation - which you assumed was an attempt to cum quicker so that you couldn't take it from him. You pushed his hips down and gently squeezed his shaft.

"I thought you said you wanted to be my good boy?" You stopped your hand movements, "Just stay still and I will give you what you want."

"Feels so good..." he mumbled, "Please... more."

"I'll make you feel so good, but you have to follow my rules," you murmured, "You have to give in to me, okay?"

"Okay..." he nodded.

"Now let's get this sweater off." you said and let go of him to pull off the last piece of fabric. "We don't want to get this cute thing all messy, yeah?"

San was completely naked in front of you. His cheeks were flushed, and his hair was slightly messy. You spit on your hand before wrapping it around him again. After setting a steady pace, you noticed that he kept staring at your chest. While pushing your arms together you could see your cleavage in your tank top. You leaned even further forward, giving him a clear view. If you overexaggerated your movements slightly, your tits started bouncing and threatened to spill out of your shirt.

"I want to touch you..." he said in a strained voice, never taking his eyes off of your chest.

"Later, baby..." you hummed. "Just watch me, for now, okay?"

He nodded and kept his eyes on you. You speeded up your movements, determined to make him cum on himself. By the distant look in his eyes, and his heavy breathing, you could only assume he was close.

"Want to cum all over yourself?" you asked. "Make a mess all over your tummy, hm?"

His mouth fell open in a moan as he nodded. You continued your quick pace and started fondling his balls, trying to bring him even closer to an orgasm. San began babbling, asking you if he could cum. All you did was hum in agreement, and white strings of cum shot onto his toned stomach. You cooed as you helped him through his orgasm. For some reason, the lewd scene looked so cute on him - and teasing him for it made it even better.

"You're such a messy boy..." you purred. "Let's clean you up, yeah?"

You brought to fingers to his stomach and wiped away some of his cum. The two messy fingers went past his lips as he sucked the liquid away.

"Good boy," you praised and he whined around your fingers.

"Can I touch you now?" he asked between heavy breaths.

A laugh fell from your lips at his eagerness. Nevertheless, you agreed. He reached for your waist and pulled you in for a kiss. It was sweet yet needy, and all the while he was fiddling with your clothes. He pulled away to take off your shirt and proceeded to kiss down to your chest. San took one of your nipples in his mouth while he kneaded your other breast in your hand.

"Hey..." you said breathlessly, trying to get his attention.

He whined against you, trying to bring you even closer. You just wanted to clean him up before you continued experimenting. But he wasn't listening, all too transfixed in touching you. With your clean hand, you grab his hair and yank him away. He looks up at you with big eyes.

"We have to clean you up first," you murmured and he nodded.

San went to the bathroom and washed himself up, while you went into the bedroom. You discarded the rest of your clothes and sat down on the bed. As soon as San joined you, his hands roamed your body all over.

"I want to taste you...", he muttered against your skin.

You leaned back and spread your legs from him. He admired your glistening pussy, gently spreading your slickness around your folds. Your breath hitched in your throat as he brought his mouth down to lick a stripe up your cunt.

"If you do well for me, I might just let you fuck me." You raised your eyebrows at him.

"... could you ride me?" he asked, still a bit shy.

"Whatever you want." You grinned. "As long as you make me cum on your tongue first, of course."

San put two of his fingers in his mouth, wetting them before prodding them against your hole. When he started pumping in and out of you, getting you comfortable with the sensation, he brought his mouth to your clit. A string of curses fell from your mouth and your hands nested in his hair, keeping him in his place.

"Keep doing that..." you whimpered as his fingers hit that one spot in you that made your toes curl. "You're doing so good for me."

He whined against you and seemed even more persistent to continue. In the midst of his neediness, he couldn't focus on keeping everything neat. Slobbering sounds echoed through the room as he sucked on your clit and plunged his fingers deep inside of you. Neither of you could keep quiet, deprived sounds bubbling out of your throats every other second. The tightening feeling in your stomach grew stronger. You started grinding yourself against his tongue. San let you use him as your orgasm hit you. When you looked down you saw San grinding against the mattress. You pulled him up from your throbbing cunt, breaking his focus. His lower face was glistening in your juices and his eyes were sparkling.

"Did I do good?" he breathed out.

"So good, baby." You giggled and cupped his cheek. "Are you feeling a bit needy again?"

"I want you," he said breathlessly. "I want to be inside you, please."

You pretended to think about it, enjoying watching him squirm a bit too much. It was endearing watching him wait, not even thinking of taking matters into his own hands - he had fully let go of the control. However, you gave in eventually and nodded. The two of you shuffled around the bed until you ended up on top of him. You were hovering above his hips. San's hand was on your hips, anxiously kneading the flesh under his fingers.

"No touching." You grinned and pinned his hands above his head. "Keep your hands there for me, okay?"

"But I want to touch you..." He pouted.

You thought of a punishment that you could use to ensure that he wouldn't touch you. You had already used the threat of taking away his orgasm, but what if you did the opposite? To stabilize yourself, you put your hands on his chest.

"If you touch me", you leaned down to him, "I'll make you cum so many times you lose count. I won't care how overstimulated you are because I won't stop until I'm satisfied."

San shivered and pushed his hands against the pillows. You grinned at his obedience. With that, you sank down onto his length. You were still sensitive from your previous orgasm but tried to keep your cool. Wet skin slapping against skin resonated through the bedroom, along with the many moans and whimpers from either of you. No matter if your legs grew weary because seeing San writhe and whine beneath you was all the motivation you needed.

"Touch..." he murmured breathlessly. "Please."

"No, baby, hands to yourself." You sighed as you kept bouncing. "You want to be good for me, don't you?"

He nodded vigorously, showing you his enthusiasm, but his eyes were hazy. You reached over to his face to cup his cheek in your palm. San leaned into your touch, whining at finally getting some sort of contact with you again.

"You're doing so good..." you murmured "Maybe you deserve a reward."

"Yes, please!" he mewled.

You paused to moan as you started grinding against him. San squirmed under you, desperate to touch you. So to be nice, you took his hands away from the pillows and put them on your hips. He grabbed the skin and started lifting his hips up to meet yours.

"Feels so good..." he blubbered while desperately fucking up into you "Thank you, thank you..."

"Baby, I didn't even give you your reward yet." You panted and tried to still his hips with your hands. "You have to stop moving if you want to cum."

San stopped moving and looked at you with big eyes. He sat up, his face was just by your chest. With pleading eyes, he silently asked for permission, and when you nodded he began kissing your collarbone area and down to your breasts.

"I want you to cum only after I'm done, okay?" You caressed his cheek and he nodded against your palm. "Good boy."

As you began bouncing on his dick again he whimpered against your skin. You felt something warm in your lower stomach growing tighter. When your walls fluttered around him, it was as if it reminded San of the situation he was in. One of his hands went down to your clit and rubbed quick but sloppy circles there. And as you came around him you started shaking, your legs growing tired. In the midst of riding out your high, San pulled you off of him and came over your chest.

"So good for me, baby, good job," you whispered out.

He leaned his head against your shoulder. With a small giggle, you patted the back of his head.

"Thank you," he muttered, "For not thinking I'm weird."

"Of course, baby." You kissed his temple. "Did I do okay?"

"You did great." He chuckled.

"Good... I kind of liked it," you hummed. "Could we try it again sometime?"

"I was hoping you'd ask." He looked up at you and smiled.

The two of you relaxed against each other, sweaty and messy but content. For once, it didn't feel forced to have sex with your boyfriend.

"Thanks for trusting me," you whispered.

He looked up at you and smiled again, it was enough for you to understand. Despite not wanting to, you got up and wobbled over to the bathroom - San followed close behind. The two of you took a quick shower together. Tired hands soaping up your grimy skin, and shampooing your hair.

When you got back to the bedroom you saw the mess you had made. San's arms were wrapped around your middle, and you leaned against his chest in defeat.

"We could sleep on the couch," he suggested "I can fix this in the morning for you."

"Thanks, bub." You patted his cheek, and walked with him to sleep on the couch.

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feedback is always appreciated!

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[meltwonu]

46. “Were you just masturbating?”

         “U-uh..no, i was just..”

         “Want some help?”

notes;  sugar-daddy!scoups, sugar-baby!reader, softdom!scoups, dirty talk, fingering, masturbation. We’re almost done with the sugardaddy cycle of drabbles! 😭 Very excited for the last few of these and also the start of a new cycle!! 😗✨ It’s always exciting starting a new theme tbh, I always have a hard time picking which one to do next tbh… Heh. Guess we will see, huh? heheh... 🥴😈 Altho, once I finish this cycle I might take a drabble day off to update my masterlists and stuff before we start on the new one! I haven’t had the time and it’s been a while so I wanna do that before it gets out of hand lol 🥲💕 As always, thank you so much for requesting! Enjoy! 💕

*queued post.

Seungcheol leaves early in the morning for a work meeting because even on ‘vacation’, he still tends to his business.

But he leaves a stack of hundred dollar bills with a single note - ‘Sorry, I’ll be back in the afternoon, I promise. -Cheol’ sitting neatly on top, and admittedly, it only takes you an hour to blow through all of the money before you’re heading back to the hotel for a quick nap.

Seungcheol was one of the lucky few that never got jetlag with the constant traveling but you always felt yourself needing a nap by the second day whenever you’d travel with him.

And the dreams of Seungcheol you have always make everything a little sweeter, and a little stickier, when you wake up – inner thighs covered in wetness as your hazy eyes blink open.

How long was I out for? You as yourself; fingertips already sliding between your thighs as you let out a shaky moan.

He was supposed to be taking you on a trip to Italy for vacation but he’d already spent the first day and half of the second day up to his head in work and despite the luxurious room and money he’d already showered you with – you missed him the most.

“Mmnh… ‘Cheol…”

Your fingers press down onto the wet patch of your panties, eyes clamping shut at the sensitivity when you slowly start to rub soft circles over the wet fabric.

You dreamt that he’d taken you on a yacht - only the two of you on it as he’d fucked you in front of the setting sun until the moon rose into the sky.

“Fuh–fuck… Ngh…”

You crave to be filled, hastily pushing your panties to the side as you collect the wetness on your fingertips.

Mental images of Seungcheol smirking down at you making your impatience rise.

But there’s a cough behind you just as you position your wet fingertips at your entrance - a gasp escaping you as you pause.

“Were you just masturbating?”

There’s a sly smirk on Seungcheol’s face as he stands in the doorway. His tie undone and the buttons on his crisp white shirt also undone to show off his chest as you bite your bottom lip.

“U–uh… No, I was just...”

Your walls clench around emptiness the longer Seungcheol stares at you and you make no movements to stop as you watch him inch closer to the bed.

“Want some help? Or… I mean, we can just… Leave and do something else. Maybe get an early dinner? Since you weren’t just about to finger your cute ‘lil cunt.”

He laughs airily as you whine and give in – spreading your legs wider and giving him space as he eases onto the bed.

“I–I want your f-fingers, ‘Cheol… Before you give m-me your, a-ah, cock…”

“Oh? Making demands now, sweetheart?”

You lick your lips as soon as you feel Seungcheol’s fingertips gliding through your slicked folds - body tensed in anticipation when he teases your clit before his rough fingers slide down to your entrance.

“Ngh, it’s–it’s the least you, mmh, c-can do for ditching me today too...”

Seungcheol shoots you an apologetic smile before he nods - middle finger already easing into your cunt as you whine.

“Mm, you’re right there, sweetheart. Guess we can spend the rest of the night with me apologizing, hmm? The tomorrow... The yacht...”

His finger curls right into your sweet spot as you let out a breathy moan.

“I–I’ll have you, a-ah, know, I’m r-really upset, ‘Cheol... You m-might have to make it, ngh, up t-to me tomorrow too...”

He tsk’s and pumps the digit in and out - quickly positioning a second finger as soon as he feels you melting under his touch.

“I know, sweetheart. But you know I’ll take care of you for the rest of the night first, right? I’ll let you cum on my cock as many times as you want since you’re always such a good girl for me, even when you know I’m busy~”

His gentle tone makes you feel warm all over - toes curling behind his back as your back arches off of the bedsheets when the pad of his thumb meets your clit.

“But I want you to cum on my fingers and my face first, okay?”

“G–god...! Please!”

[therunawaykind]

Driving in her car

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: slightly reckless driving? also this request attacking me personally

The Request: Fluff Wanda request coming through from your favourite anon. Wanda is teaching Reader how to drive! So apparently its known in the compound how Reader doesn't know how to drive yet. When she asked Natasha to help she denied  (they all know how terrible Reader is) and because Wanda has a crush on Reader, she willingly steps in to help. Imagine Wanda having constant panics every time Reader picks up the speed and/or would look away for a few seconds. And after the lesson, Wanda was just too stunned to speak and was like "If I didn't like you I wouldn't have done this." And then, it was Reader who was stunned to speak after that confession. Is this too detailed, Danni? I don't know how to make a request 😭 -💛

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*please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours. reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated!*

It was no surprise to anyone in the compound considering everyone knew, though it was an aspect of yourself that you would’ve preferred to keep to yourself. What is this aspect of yourself or secret that you have that you don’t want anyone to know? It is simply the fact that you cannot drive. You know it isn’t a big deal but having to rely on and wait around for one of the other avengers if you wanted to go and do anything was really starting to annoy you. And yes, you know buses are a thing, but they just might be the most annoying mode of transport, so you suffered on.

Though what got on your nerves at times were the constant comments made by the majority of the avengers which all revolved around the words “baby.” or “little.” The only avenger out of the whole group that was nice to you and didn’t make you feel bad about not being able to drive was of course none other than Wanda Maximoff.

It was widely known around the compound just how bad of a driver you were when anyone would volunteer to take you out to teach you. So slowly as the number dwindled down to no one you were stuck. So, as you were approaching Natasha one day before you could even get the question out of your mouth, she had already replied with “no don’t think even think about asking me to teach you how to drive baby avenger.” You let out an exasperated sigh and walked back to your room. You knew Natasha didn’t mean it in a harsh or mean way you trained with her most and you were the most comfortable around her. So, you knew she was just saving herself the hassle so you didn’t even think about asking anybody else within the compound to teach you knowing they would probably give you the same answer.  

What you didn’t notice as you walked out of the room dejectedly was Wanda standing at the entrance by the training room watching the encounter between Natasha and you. She couldn’t stop the sad sigh that escaped her lips as she entered the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and some snacks. As she was absentmindedly eating the snacks contemplating giving to the offer of her teaching you how to drive. As soon as that thought crossed her mind Natasha uttered the words “don’t even think about it Wands, you will not know peace.”

Wanda couldn’t help but stare at Natasha with her mouth agape just as Wanda was about to say something else Natasha cut her off “I also know you aren’t doing this for the good of your health, I know you have a crush on her so you think by offering her this something it will awaken her feelings for you and make her realize at the same time you have feelings for her. But in all honesty, I dunno if that’ll work.” Wanda couldn’t help but scoff and roll her eyes. “I’m not doing this just because I have a crush on her Natasha.”  

Natasha couldn’t help but chuckle as she retorted “sure whatever helps you sleep at night Wands.” Wanda couldn’t help but groan as she walked out of the room leaving Natasha behind. Whilst Wanda still had some confidence in her step she decided to walk straight to your room and tell you her decision, she paused right outside your door and took a deep breath right before she started banging on your door “Y/N Y/N OPEN THE DOOR!” Wanda could hear the slight mumbles and grumbles coming from behind the door as you approached.

You couldn’t help the sigh that escaped your lips “what is that you want Wanda? That is so important you are literally banging on my door as if there is a fire?” Okay, so maybe Wanda didn’t realize how hard she was knocking on your door. She scrunched her face up as she looked at you and muttered a quick apology “I didn’t- uhm I didn’t realize I was knocking so loud.” She glances at you again and notices you raise your eyebrows “right, right…. why I’m here uhhhh.” Wanda takes a quick pause to clear her throat as she tries to gain her confidence back “Tomorrow, I’m taking you out in my car and helping you in learning how to drive.”  

“Wands- I uh- I really don’t think that is necessary, really it is a lovely gesture but I’m sure if you asked the others you’d know and hear what a stupid idea this choice is.” 

“Y/N honey, sweetie. I adore that you’re looking out for me from the clear nightmare that it is trying to teach you, but I am not going to change my mind. I am going to help you to some extent…...even if it kills me.” Both of you couldn’t help but laugh at that last comment but also due to the reality of that comment you had to mumble “that really could happen though.” Wanda clicked her tongue as she shoved your shoulder “if you keep doubting yourself, of course, it’s going to be harder and more difficult for you to do well behind the wheel. I can assure you if you start believing in yourself, you’ll pick it up in no time.” You knew Wanda wasn’t going to let this go so you did all you could do and nod slowly in agreement to her statement. “Okay okay, I believe you.”  

It was the morning of the day Wanda was going to take you out to help you learn to drive…. well, more like attempt. Easy to say you had never felt more nauseous in your whole life. She had to have known the horror stories of the other avengers trying to help you. So why would she even bother to offer this to you. You did the only thing you could do now: groan and flop onto your bed backwards. As you counted down the minutes until Wanda inevitably showed up at your door.  

Wanda couldn’t help but smile to herself as she approached the door to your room. She made sure to not knock on your door so loudly… or urgently this time. She could guess that you would be freaking out a bit knowing how much stress this causes you. She could hear the soft huff that escaped your mouth as you walked towards the door. Wanda rocked back and forth on her feet nervously as she expected the door to open. As you slowly pulled back the door Wanda peeked her head around the corner as a huge grin spread across her face in what you could only guess was an attempt to calm you down. You exhale deeply as you grab a jacket and everything else you need as you walk past Wanda and nod your head “let’s get this disaster over with.” Wanda tried not to be hurt at you walking straight past her since she knew you were nervous and probably freaking out internally. So, she took a deep breath a followed after you.  

When Wanda finally caught up to you by her car you were leaning against the driver's side and nervously picking and playing with your fingers. Wanda decided to slow her walking down slightly as she approached you as she spoke quietly “hey, you ready to do this?” you looked up at her from under your eyelashes and nodded hesitantly Wanda gazed and smiled at you as softly as she could as she threw her keys to you “well let’s go then.” As Wanda sits in the passenger side of the car she glances over and notices that everything about you is tense. “Y/N/N you being tense won’t make this easier, it’ll only make it more difficult.” You nod your head slowly as you mumble “I know, I know.”  

Wanda was proud the longer the both of you stayed in the car. She couldn’t lie, you were very hesitant at first, but you started to get more comfortable. But along with you getting more confident in the car came along you getting a tad too relaxed and laid back. Which resulted in you getting distracted and looking away from where you were meant to be. That also resulted in you picking up the speed at a drastic and alarming rate out of literally nowhere. For some reason, you were oblivious to how tense Wanda had gotten with how you were driving. She had as subtly as she could braced herself if anything were to happen.  

Out of the corner of Wanda’s eye, she could see it going to happen again so before anything could happen, she says as softly and calmly as possible “Y/N/N, Y/N/N Hun, sweetie. I adore you right now and you are doing so well. But if I see you get distracted and look away from where you’re supposed to or if you pick up speed out of nowhere, I think I just might go insane because you were doing so well.” When you hear Wanda’s voice come from nowhere your head darts over to her as you accidentally speed up again Wanda takes a deep breath and looks over at you. “Y/N get out of the car, switch seats.”  

“But-”  

Wanda shakes her head slowly as she starts to unbuckle her belt “nu-uh just-” Wanda sighs “just switch seats.” The drive back to the compound wasn’t as tense as you thought it would be, once Wanda was back in the driver's seat she relaxed quite quickly. But you couldn’t lie out of everyone that had tried to help you to learn to drive Wanda had been the most successful. Wanda parked her car in the garage as she started to switch off the ignition, she turned towards you slightly “Y/N as much as I may have had a little freak-out back there you actually did very well, and I am very proud of you for the progress you made today.” You couldn’t help but smile at her softly as you mumbled “It’s down to your help but thank you.” Wanda smiled softly as she walked into the compound.  

Natasha smirked as she walked past and saw Wanda’s rather dazed gaze. She started laughing as she took a sip of her drink “so how’d it go?”  

You nervously glanced over at Wanda as she paused where she was standing “they did actually very well, but they did give me moments of complete and utter panic.” Your brows furrowed as you looked at Wanda as she was talking. She sighed as she walked over to you and patted your cheek “but you did well, and I would not have done this at all for you Y/N if I didn’t like you.” You stare at Wanda stunned and mouth agape as you stand there stunned as she walks off. As you finally register what she said you shout up the stairs after her “WAIT, do you mean like me as in you’d date me?”  

You hear a faint “YES” come from Wanda’s room. Natasha and Wanda couldn’t help but laugh as they heard you run and scramble up the stairs to get to Wanda’s room.  

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[jasntodds]

Petrichor [11]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 19,142

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, canon drug use, canon violence, blood, bruises, manipulation, canon manipulation, canon character death, mentions of the wolf story from the cabin (it's not detailed like in the show), mentions of PTSD (canon), mentions of abuse

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: Fun fact: Scarecrow is actually my second favorite Batman villain (second to the Riddler of course) so I had fun writing Crane a little bit lol I am so sorry this is so late. I ended up busy for once so lol but it is a long chapter to make up for it!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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You come to half an hour later, your eyes peeking open slowly. Your head is in a haze like when a sudden nap happens and you wake up confused what day it is and how long you've been asleep. Your eyes scan around, spotting Jason sitting on the floor a few feet away from you cleaning one of his guns. He's still in the Red Hood suit with his helmet off to the side and there's a blotch of light red on his jaw, right where your fist connected with his face. And the guilt hits like a freight train. You clear your throat making Jason look up to you and you think you just saw his face relax.

“What the fuck just happened?” Your throat is raw and you can't tell if that's some weird after-effect of the drug or if it's from all the yelling.

Maybe it's both.

Jason looks up to you and his stomach starts to twist into knots. The guilt is dulled but it's that echo that's annoying, like a headache that just won't quit. He's been sitting here the entire time, looking to you to make sure you're okay and wondering what he's supposed to say when you come to. He wishes he knew but he doesn't.

He can't take back what he said and he can't back you fighting. Drug or not, it never should have happened. None of it. It never should have involved you. But, now it's messier than ever and Jason desperately wants to leave it all in the shadows and creaky floorboards of this room. He doesn't want it on his shoulders or lingering on his skin or his tongue anymore. But, maybe he doesn't want you to know that just yet.

He's high but he always cares about you. And maybe, letting himself be cold about everything will be better. Maybe you'll finally leave. It'd be better for you if you did anyway.

“Exhaustion is a side effect of the comedown. The only way around it is to sleep or take more and I wasn’t gonna give you mine.” Jason states casually, going back to cleaning.

You furrow your brows. You keep coming back to wondering how you missed him taking this. It all seems so obvious and you feel so guilty about it. Maybe you were so wrapped in the sort of fantasy of being happy, with him, that you willfully ignored every warning sign. That isn't entirely true. You knew something was going on, but maybe if you looked harder, went back to your pessimism, you wouldn't have missed it.

“So, you just…let me sleep? After that?” You scoff, trying desperately to figure out which side his logic is landing at the moment.

“Cleaned the cut on your head and made sure you were fine.” Jason shrugs, his eyes glancing to you for just a second.

As soon as Jason got Hank done and into a cab back to Wayne Manor, he cleaned the blood and cut off of you. He definitely followed it with another hit from an inhaler but he helped you anyway. At the end of the day, at the end of all of this, he just wants you to be safe. Crane might be trying to fill his head with lies and it might be working, but Jason knows in the very center of his chest, you don’t deserve anything bad to happen to you ever again. You might not be entirely on the same side, but Jason isn’t going to just throw you to the side. He won’t do it. It's why he pulled his punches and he never pulls his punches.

“What about Hank?” You ask softly, your eyes never leaving him.

You're pretty sure he's still high.

Jason pulls out his phone, checking the time. “He has a few hours.”

You roll your eyes. Now that you aren’t high on the drug, your thoughts are more logical, no longer fueled by anger. You watch Jason and you remember Hank saying he’d kill Jason if given the chance. It’s not that you agree with Jason killing him, but maybe it’s kill or be killed.

“Why Hank? Like what made you do that?” You question, earning a side eye from Jason. He doesn't want you involved in any of this which also means you don't get to know the reason. Not from his mouth. “Okay, you’re not gonna put a bomb in my chest. Gar is your friend. You don’t stand a chance against Kory or Conner. Dawn is Dawn. You like to fuck with Dick. That leaves Hank, right?”

Jason offers you a grin before he chuckles. “He’s also a fucking prick and you know it.” Jason gestures a lazy free hand at you and something about the grin and the gesture, almost seems normal.

You shake off the familiarity of it because at the end of the day, you don't think Hank deserves to die, not if he didn't come here with the intent to kill Jason. “Yeah….but what? Did you lure him here or?”

Jason can tell you're digging but he can't tell for what. His reasoning why Hank and how he got him here, isn't important. It's not even relevant to really anything. But, Jason knows you and he's starting to think maybe you're digging to see if you should be on his side. That's what you usually did for things that didn't really matter. Get his side of the story so you can side with him.

“Why do you wanna know so damn bad?”

“I wanna know how mad I need to be.” Your shoulders feel heavy with the shrug.

Jason scoffs and even if he doesn't want you involved, he wants you on his side. If you're on his side, you'll back off and let the plan fall into place. “I didn’t make him come. I asked to and he did, without backup.”

“How’d you get him to show up, Jason?” You almost groan because getting answers out of him sometimes is like pulling teeth.

“Said Dick would kill me and I just wanted to come home.” Jason can't help the chuckle that falls from his throat.

Something about it is amusing.

You nod your head and maybe you feel a little less bad. You know Jason had some sort of ploy to get him here. Hank was just dumb enough to fall for it. After everything, apparently, he didn’t learn not to go headfirst into something without backup. That was just stupid. But, that also makes you question Hank’s intentions.

You don’t believe for even one second Hank showed up alone with the intention to help Jason. He was pissed earlier and he’s an ass. If Hank told any of the Titans, they would have come with him and none of them wanted Jason dead. Maybe Jason told Hank he was watching him but you figure if anyone would know how to get around being watched in Gotham, it would have been you or Dick. Yet, Hank didn't go to either of you. On top of that, why would Jason call Hank if he wanted to come home and not you or Gar? Maybe Hank wanted to be the one to either kill Jason or bring him down himself. Maybe you feel a little less bad about it.

Kill or be killed.

“Asshole.” You huff.

You watch Jason carefully, an easy smirk dancing across his lips but it never reaches his eyes. You're sober now, remembering everything that happened and you can feel the guilt washing over your insides like charcoal. None of it is true. And you hate that any of it was even said. If you didn’t mean it, neither did Jason. It was the drug and you're positive of that. And you're thinking the drug is the entire reason Jason is trying to kill Hank.

A very large part of you is wondering if you would helped Jason had you not been so mad at him. You actually think you would have and that is something you would never do. Hank is a Titan and he didn’t do anything to warrant his death sentence. You wouldn’t normally kill him but you're almost positive you would have had you not been mad at Jason. And you think, maybe that’s the reason Crane helped Jason make the drug, to weaponize him and at this moment, you swear his days are numbered. But, before you seek your revenge, you want Jason back.

Getting him back is going to be a lot more difficult because even you're sitting here itching for another hit of an inhaler. You can’t imagine how Jason is feeling the second it starts to wear off. But you want him back and you're not going to rest until you get him back.

“He probably came to kill you.” You state.

Jason snaps his attention to you, his brows furrowing. “What?” Jason huffs.

“Yeah, Titans are pissed. Well, Hank. Everyone else is just confused how the hell you’re alive and with the shit you’re doing. But Hank said if he came to it, he’d kill you so.” You let out a breath and you swear his expression just deflated.

“And you fucking fought me over that shit?”

“I was high.” You huff. “Which you know damn well if it weren’t for that shit you’re also on, by the way, I never would have. But you get the cure to fear and you lie to me and you don’t even share.” You spit back while Jason dodges your eyes this time, going back to cleaning the gun you think has to be clean by now.

“I don’t want you involved.”

“Okay.” You let out a sigh. "Why not?" You ask, Jason glancing up to you, the white strands of hair falling onto his forehead. "Is it Crane or is it me? Is it the drug? Why don't you want me involved, Jay? Because you keep fucking saying that shit with no explanation."

Jason opens his mouth to fight back, to tell you to let it rest and he doesn't have to tell you anything. But, his eyes land on the cut on your forehead and the bruising near your cheek and he caves.

"Do you really want to work with Jonathan fucking Crane?" Jason spits, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"You never gave me the choice to." You state.

"I knew you wouldn't go for it." Jason shrugs, looking back to the gun because that seems a lot easier than looking at your face now.

"Okay." You let out a sigh of defeat.

There’s no point in talking about it. He’s clearly high. You can tell by the coldness that surrounds his voice. He’s going to believe whatever Crane has to say to him because that’s the drug, you're almost certain. And Crane gave him something to cure him. Jason's in debt to him. He sees him as a savior of sorts and you desperately wish you could get through to him. But at least you understand it now.

A part of you don’t think anything could have gotten through to you while you were high. It’s powerful and strong, all-consuming. You were only high for two hours and you hate that version of yourself but there is this twitch through your bones that almost wants to ask Jason for his. It’s like a sudden vibration starting in your bone marrow and radiating through your head and your chest. And you can even feel the lingering tinge of anger like the very end of a fire.

Whatever insane shit Crane had Jason cook up, is fucked. You hope it’s not too late to talk some sense into Jason but you have to catch him when he’s not high. You aren't now and it was only one dose anyway but you swear, you feel normal. It's just that small twitch in your bones that feels uncomfortable. But, that's it. You feel like you never took it in the first place and maybe it's not too late for him. It might be a waste of breath to try when he's high, but you have to try anyway. He would for you.

You scoot closer to Jason until you're right in front of him. Jason pauses his movements, looking over your face. He felt the guilt creeping in before he took the inhaler again. He knows he’ll never forgive himself.

You place your hands on his cheeks and Jason’s face softens and you know he’s there somewhere. But you don’t feel his hands move to you and you feel like you're losing him slowly.

Maybe that’s worse than him being ripped away.

Jason’s eyes dodge yours and he wants to peel his skin off his bones. It feels wrong for you to touch him. It feels all wrong. He can’t bring his hands to your hips or to your hands or anywhere. You don’t feel like you're his anymore and it’s all his fault. He told you you were a mistake. You always deserved better than him but not a single part of him can bring himself to push again. Because you look at him with soft eyes as if you didn’t just explode on each other and have a real fight. You look at him like he’s still the only person you could ever love wholly and solely.

“You're gonna regret it, Jay. Hank fucking sucks and I don’t fucking like him either. But you’re gonna regret it.”

“Why did you fight me over him? You said he was gonna kill me.” Jason asks, his voice is soft.

Jason knows if he weren't high, that part of everything would hurt, too. A lot more than it does right now. And he is so thankful he doesn't have to deal with that pain. He's so tired of pain.

“You wouldn’t let me kill Jerry. And I knew it’d piss you off if I stopped you.” You move your hands to his legs. "And Hank isn't Jerry." You shake your head softly. "If you kill him, that'll be it and I don't want that for you, Jay."

You watch Jason hang his head, highlights from the light in the room bouncing off the white streak of hair. You know you can’t really get through to him, not right now but you want to believe you can. It makes it easier.

Jason just finds it hard to look at you. And he wants to know how you can do that. The drug still wins and he is sturdy in the plan, unmoving and relentless. But, he listens anyway and you make his chest hurt. The guilt and shame are thundering and ramming the jail bars in the back of his head as hard as they can. He doesn’t know why you're still here. Maybe it’d be easier if he believed you were working another angle. And for a second, he starts to talk himself into it, the drug encouraging him.

Maybe you're just trying to get inside of his head so the other Titans can finish him off. Maybe you're just using him, like Crane said. Maybe you want to the drug all for yourself now. Maybe you're waiting for your own moment to finish him off, he falls into your criteria now, doesn’t he?

But his eyes back to yours and all the fight he has is shaken loose, scattering through his chest as an apology breaks through.

“Sorry for what I said and for fighting you.” Jason says quietly.

Your face softens and you think maybe it's working, just a little bit. “Yeah, me too.” You nod softly.

Jason puts the gun off to the side, making sure the barrel is facing away from both of you. He finally finds it himself to bring his hands to your waist. They’re shaking and hesitant, his grip not nearly as strong as it usually is.

“No, I mean it. I don’t mean any of that shit. I don’t want you involved.” Jason's voice becomes barely a whisper. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

“Jay, I am fucking terrified for you.” You place your hands over his. “I know you don’t see it, but this is going to get fucking bad and I am scared, I know you’re not. But I am. Deactivate that bomb and come home, Jay, please.” You clear your throat. “I’m not mad…I get it. I know you didn’t mean it. I didn't either.”

“I can’t.” Jason drops his hands, shaking his head. “This is me. Gotham needs someone who can control the crime and do the hard shit. We have a plan and it’ll work out, alright? You just have to trust me.” A piece of the real Jason finds a way to break through as his jaw clenches and his brows furrow with the sudden shake his of his head. “Please.”

“I trust you more than anyone but I don’t trust Crane. You can still do this Red Hood stuff. You don’t need Crane. You never fucking needed Bruce either. You don’t need Dick. You don’t need any of them, Jay. You can just do your own thing and protect Gotham the way you want to. All you and I’ll stand beside you if you want me to. You don’t need him.”

“Yeah, I do.” Jason keeps it short.

“Okay.” You nod your head and it actually burns as if acid is being poured down your throat.

It has to be the drug. That has to be how Crane has been able to manipulate him so well. But, it is nearly paralyzing because for some reason, Crane asking Jason to do all of this, is more important than you asking him to come home. With you. Somehow, staying loyal to Crane is more important to him right now. Jason on the anti-fear drug is not the Jason you know and love.

“Deactivate the bomb. I’m asking nicely and then just beat the shit out of Hank if that’s what you want to do. I’ll get some popcorn and watch. You can’t come back from that, okay? Like you said.”

“It’s done.”

“Alright, Jay.” You let out a sigh.

You tried your best and you want him back. You don’t want him to wake up when this is over and deal with the fact he killed Hank. It’s going to destroy him. The guilt will finish him off and you hate the very idea of that. He’s not too far gone but you're terrified he will be soon. So, you move your hands to his cheeks again and press your lips to his.

Jason freezes, bits of shock taking over his body because in no world did he expect you to kiss him. But you do and you kiss him with all of the strength you can muster as Jason squeezes your hips and kisses you back. You kiss him with everything in you as if that’s enough to suck out the drug from his bloodstream and bring him back home. You kiss him as if it’s enough to make everything better again like putting a bandaid on a bruise to trick your mind into thinking it doesn’t hurt. But you pull away and his eyes are still dilated and he lacks that cheesy but lazy grin he would normally have. And you hate this.

“I’m going back to the manor.” You pause, lingering for a few seconds as if to be hoping Jason would ask you to stay but the words never leave his lips. You don’t know it, but he almost says them. He doesn’t want you here but you still feel like home and he really misses the warmth of home. Jason doesn’t like feeling so cold all the time. “I hope you can live with this when you have a comedown. I hope you snap out of it. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you go through with this. You’re really pushing the line, Jay.” Jason watches you carefully as you start to leave. “Be careful and just fucking think about it. Let yourself be sober for an hour, okay? Love you.” You let out a sigh before you head out of the room before Jason can even reply.

Jason keeps his stare on the doorway before he lets out a breath. He is begging you to understand and just trust him. You always said you trust him more than anyone and this is the one time he desperately needs you to trust him. It’ll get messier if you keep trying to get him to be a Titan again and in his impaired state, it pisses him off.

The Titans have always treated him as lesser and leftovers. He was the replacement for Dick. That’s all he ever was and he was expendable, Deathstroke proved that. And he’s better, how they handle Hank is going to more proof. The only people who didn’t treat Jason like that are you and Gar. That’s it. The Titans are the enemy and he just wants you to see through their bullshit the same way you're trying to get Jason to see through Crane’s bullshit. He just wants you to trust him.

You get back to the Manor, standing outside and looking at the entrance. The guilt is chewing at you, slowly eating you whole. You hate Hank, especially with the threat of killing Jason. But, you don’t think he deserves to die. Not unles he was really going to kill Jason when he went to meet him today. Then, at that point, he got what was coming. But you aren’t sure that’s really what the plan was and you feel horrible you couldn’t do anything to stop it.

You tried, you pulled your punches, but you tried and it wasn’t good enough. Hank might die today because you weren’t good enough. You hate him but you think about Dawn. Dawn doesn’t deserve to lose him. She loves him for reasons you will never understand but she doesn’t deserve to lose him. You know what it feels like. It’s not fair. And you feel guilty and it’s heavy and you hate you fought Jason, too. Every piece of today lays heavy on your chest and all you want to do is run out of Gotham. You don’t want to deal with any of it. But that’s not an option so you move forward, opening the door and entering the manor.

On top of the guilt over Jason, you also know you can't tell any of them what you found out. If you tell them, they'll know he's working with Crane. Jason didn't even want you to know and he even looked worried when you did figure it out. What if them knowing Crane is the partner puts Jason's life at risk? What if Crane has more than Jason on the outside? If you tell them, what if it gets him killed? And then it's your fault. Maybe it's wrong to keep it from the Titans, but you don't want to risk him getting killed again. Not if you don't have to and maybe, just maybe, Jason will change his mind last minute. You hope against hope, he will change his mind.

You head to the Batcave, not seeing any Titans around the manor. When you reach the cave, you see everyone around Hank looking worried. This is the moment for you where you know you’ll need to pick a side. If Jason goes through with this, you can’t sit in the middle and hope for the best. You’ll need to choose who you're working with. And at this point, you aren’t sure you want to work with any of them.

“You're okay!” Gar chimes as he spots you coming into view.

Your brows furrow. “Uh…yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” You ask, looking around the room as the Titans put their eyes on you.

“Well…I mean…Hank.” Gar gestures and moves slightly, giving you a better view of Hank lying in a bed with the bomb on full display. “You also have a cut on your head and a bruise on your cheek.” Gar gestures a finger, mirroring where the bruise sits.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” You shake it off, finishing your walk to the Titans.

The Titans turn to look at you and suddenly, you feel like a spotlight has just found you in the middle of a hidden forest after committing mass murder. Dick looks disappointed which you think might actually be worse than him just being mad. Same with Kory. Conner looks confused. But Hank and Dawn look pissed and you don’t so much blame them. If you were Dawn and Hank were Jason, you’d be pissed, too. But it does make you stop in your tracks.

“Oh, now you’re gonna show your face around here!?” Hank yells.

“Uh…I-I…live…here?” You question but the manor hasn't really felt like home since Jason died anyway.

“And I have a fucking bomb in my chest!” Hank yells. “You were there!”

“We know you and Jason are close, but you have to see this isn’t right.” Dawn crosses her arms.

You blink at them and suddenly you're back at the tower. Suddenly, you're in Jason’s shoes. You never understood where their issue was with him then and you never ever got to understand. But, you tried. You tried to rationalize why Jason. Why did they pick him to target? Rachel was the good kid and Jason was the troublemaker. Jason was an asshole. Maybe. But you're looking at the two of them with a cut on your forehead and bruised knuckles, knowing you passed out and you're being blamed for something you didn’t even do. It was never Jason. It was always just someone to blame.

“W-what?” You ask as you feel the lump grow in your throat.

“Hank said he saw you there.” Kory explains.

“Why were you there?” Dick asks, his voice sterner than Kory but he wants to believe Sam didn't have anything to do with this.

It's actually breaking a part of you with everyone looking at you like that. They're pointing the finger at you and it hurts. You're supposed to trust them but they didn't even ask. You were passed out on the fucking floor and Hank assumes you took a nap, apparently, and they all just believe that. You might side with Jason but they can't really believe you would help him put a bomb in Hank's chest or even let him do it.

“I…I…I can’t….I can’t tell you.” You sputter as you shake your head. “But I didn’t know that’s what he was doing. You-you have to believe me.” You croak out as your eyes start to turn glassy.

“Just like we should believe you didn’t know he was alive?” Hank barks.

“You need to calm down.” Dawn whispers to him.

“Fuck that shit! She’s in on this! I bet he sent her here to make sure I die!”

“You guys can’t really believe she would do that, right?” Gar finally pipes up. He remembers what happened with Jason and he knows you're always on the edge of something terrible. He doesn’t want that edge to become literal.

“Why else would she have been there?” Dawn asks.

"Does it matter?" Gar asks but he keeps his voice soft and gentle because he still hates arguing. "She's hurt and that should mean something, right? You guys didn't ask, just jumped to conclusions." Gar's voice starts to go quiet. "Like with Jason."

You snap your attention to him as Gar's stare goes to the floor. Your heart breaks for him but you owe him for trying to defend you. You know how much he hates it. And you think maybe you'll tell him because he deserves it.

"It all seems real fucking convenient doesn't it?" Hank barks back, not falling for Gar siding with you. "It was all a set-up!"

“I went to fucking confront him.” You scoff but it comes out weak. “Are we really doing this? I didn’t fucking know about the fucking bomb or that Hank was even going to be there.”

“Bullshit! I said I’d kill him. I bet you tipped him off and that’s why this happened.” Hank gestures aggressively to his chest.

You grit your teeth as you look desperately to Dick before looking back to Hank. “Fuck you.” You sniffle. “You know what, fine. You wanna know what happened? I went to confront him high as fuck and I saw you. We fucking fought because while high, I knew I couldn’t let him kill you because he wouldn’t let me kill Jerry and I knew it’d piss him off.”

“Wow.” Kory huffs softly as she looks to the ground, placing a hand on her hip. But, she looks up quickly at you. "Wait, you were high?" Kory asks with confusion.

Your eyes glance to Gar and then Dick before landing on Kory. "I'm tired of feeling like this." Desperation coats your words. The comedown sucked and being angry also sucked, but maybe Jason's right. Maybe that is better than feeling like this and scared and paranoid. Maybe he's right. “Look, we fucking fought, I passed out and I came back here when I came to. So, fuck you." You look back to Hank.”

“Right, but you’re killing—“ Dawn tries to argue.

“Critiera. I have a criteria and Hank doesn’t fucking meet it. I can’t let my personal bias come in the fucking way." You turn your attention back to Hank. "You don’t meet it. You don’t deserve to fucking die even though you’re a piece of fucking shit who doesn’t learn from his mistakes.” You bark. “You figure out the bomb yet?” You look to Dick.

“No, just that it’s counting down his heartbeats.” Dick answers plainly.

“Wayne Enterprises.” You state. “I saw the blueprints before I passed out. Bet if you look into it, you can find a way to build a deactivator or whatever.” You look back to Hank. “I hope you live so Jason doesn’t have to deal with the guilt. And I did tell him you were gonna kill him…. after he had the bomb in your chest. Let me know if dies, I guess.” You scoff as you turn around and start to head out of the Batcave.

Gar looks at all of the Titans and he doesn't like seeing his friends targeted. He knows that Hank was just targeted by his best friend but you didn't do anything. It's not your fault what Jason does. You don't control him and Gar thinks it's wrong for them to attack you for it. So, he follows you up to the main living room.

You suck in a deep breath as your hands shake at your sides. Dick, Kory, and Conner didn't accuse you of anything but they weren't really on your side either. And it feels like you're being abandoned and you're reminded why you always left first. It was so much easier than feeling like this. It doesn't hurt when you're the one that leaves. It doesn't hurt like this. So, your fists ball at your sides as your nails dig into your palms and your jaw clenches. All you want is to go back to before and pause time. Why is that so much to ask for?

"Are you okay?" Gar asks quietly from behind you.

You hang your head and at least you have Gar. He might not always get it but he at least tries to. And you really hope, after all of this, you don't lose him either. You want to tell him but then you'd put him in the middle. You're standing in the middle of it all right now and it is absolute hell. You can't put that on Gar. But, you can vent and you say a little bit of what happened so you turn around to face him with the shake of your head.

"No! I had to fucking fight Jason because of fucking Hank!" You scrunch your nose in disgust. "That's fucking stupid! And I can't even fucking say how the hell that shit happened or what happened because I am terrified if I tell anyone knew what the fuck I know it could get him killed." You pause as you watch Gar's face soften. "But, he put a bomb in Hank's chest and he's an ass but he doesn't deserve to die." You suck in a ragged breath. "So, I fought him and we were both fucking high and we said some really horrible shit to each other and I have no idea how we're supposed to come back from that or how he's ever going to forgive me."

Gar nods with understanding and he really wishes he knew what was going on. "What did you guys say to each other?"

"I asked him where Rose was and, uh, maybe that's why she left him...to protect herself because takes low blows. He said I was using him, we were a mistake, I made him worse. Just... we both said a to."

Gar shakes his head, trying to process what he's being told. That doesn't sound like either of you. "Why would you guys even say that stuff to each other? I mean...Jason could be an asshole but he didn't say that kind to stuff to you."

"Yeah," You nod. "The, uh, the drug. It's the one he made and uh...it's not a normal drug like...it, uh, it makes people do things I think that they wouldn't normally. I think that's why Hank has a bomb in his chest. It's why we fought, too." You confess, figuring maybe that's enough of an explanation to clue Gar in a little bit but not too much that he immediately goes to Dick.

But Gar is just growing more confused. The two of you have talked about addiction before. You had stories like the one time with your dad and your dad being an addict. But, you talked about other kids on the streets. Gar kind of thought maybe everything that happened to you made you never want to take anything but now you're out here not only taking a drug but making it. Just like Jason. None of it makes sense.

"Why would you take it?"

"I can't tell you." You mutter as you hang your head. "I won't again, promise. It was for science." You suck in a breath as Gar scrunches his face in more confusion. "But...I know if we can get him off of it, we'll get him back."

"So, the Jason we know is still there?" Gar asks with hope in his eyes.

"Yeah, as if you really lost faith in him anyway." You manage a weak laugh earning you a soft smile from Gar.

"I have to believe he's in there somewhere. Even if no one else but you does." Gar nods his head softly.

"Yeah," You suck in a breath. "I know it's weird to think, now, I guess but...if we get him back...how do we come back from that?" You ask as you furrow your brows. "I mean, what we said, what he thinks of me." You watch Gar's brows furrow. "I think his partner is manipulating him and using Jason's trust in me against him. Just...based on what he said." You shake your head. "It's nothing but...ya know? Fought each other."

"Well, everyone tried to kill me once and we're all okay now." Gar tries to chuckle softly. "If the drug is what you say it is, maybe that's the end of it. We all know that's not really Jason. He would never hurt you, on accident or on purpose. And you wouldn't either. Maybe you guys just talk. You always got Jason to." Gar offers a soft smile.

"Yeah," You smile weakly. "I guess that's true."

"I'm sorry you guys fought though." Gar offers a sympathetic look just as Dick comes rushing through the clock, coming to a dead stop as he sees you both.

You readjust your stance as you look to the floor.

Dick lets out a sigh and he does not have time for this but he has to ask. "Did you know?" 

You shake your head as your eyes meet his. "I fucking swear I didn't. I would have called you."

Dick nods and he believes you. He doesn't agree with your morals but killing Hank seems a little off even for you. Even when it comes to Jason. When you explained your criteria to him, it seemed to matter enough to you. You mentioned it downstairs. You're not lying.

"Okay. You guys go back to the Cave once Dawn and Kory have Hank in a room. Help Conner if you can and just stay away from Hank." Dick goes to walk away but then stops, looking back at you. "Did you find anything out?"

You nod hesitantly. "I, uh, I don't think it'd help with Hank though. If I thought so I'd tell you."

"Alright." Dick lets out a sigh before he heads off.

"Well," You clear your throat. "That fucking sucks." You state as you can hear Kory, Dawn, and Hank coming from the Batcave. "I'm gonna grab something from my room and I'll meet you downstairs." You offer a soft nod to Gar before you head down the hallway.

As the next three hours go by, Dawn takes off to steal the gold bars and give them to Jason. Dick goes after Dawn to try to stop her. Kory doesn't have any more answers about who brought Jason back from the dead which is a relief on your end. But, Connor still doesn't have the deactivor ready. It has to reach a 0% failure rate and he hasn't gotten that far yet.

You really hoped Jason would back out of it or he was just trying to get under the Titans' skin and none of it was real. But, as Hank's heartbeats dwindle down, you're starting to think he's really going to go through with this. He'll kill Hank and he can't just come back from that like he can with everything else. No one is going to care if Crane had him do it or not. It won't matter because Hank is a Titan. And you wonder what you're supposed to do.

If everything that happened today doesn't snap some sense into him, nothing you say or do will. It'll be up to Jason or the Titans to get him to stop taking the drug. Those will be the options. And you think maybe your only option will be to tell Dick everything you know. If anyone is going to know what to do, especially dealing with Jonathan Crane, it's going to be Dick. Maybe Crane will believe Dick figured it out on his own anyway. If Jason kills Hank, you don't think you can stand on his side anymore. It's the last thing you want to do but if he's willing to kill Hank, who knows what else he's willing to do and who else he's willing to kill. He will need to be stopped and you can't do it alone.

With only a few minutes left, Gar and you are seated watching Connor and the screen intently while you all have Dick on the comms. He found Dawn and she's with Jason. Jason tells Dawn all she has to do is shoot him and it'll save Hank. But, Dick is trying to convince her not to do it because Connor is almost there.

It comes down to just seconds when Connor finally gets the failure rate to 0%. He uses superspeed to rush through the manor while Gar and you get to your feet to watch on the monitor to Hank's room. But, just before Connor gets there, there's a thunder through the manor and the cameras go dead.

Gar and you keep your eyes on the screen as Kory runs up behind you both and pulls you both into a hug. Jason just killed Hank in cold blood. What are any of you even supposed to do now?

That night, no one has much to say. Dick informed everyone what actually happened. Jason set Dawn up so when she pulled the trigger, it detonated the bomb. It's uncomfortable listening to it.  You listen but the only thing you really hear is that Jason just put Dawn through when you went through when Jason died. He knew what it did to you and then Jason still went and decided Dawn should deal with that pain and the guilt of it really being her fault. You're appalled and disgusted even though you know it's not really him. You just find yourself in a state of disbelief and fury. How could he do that to someone? After everything?

You were high and while you know, maybe you would have helped, you find it hard to believe you would. The drug is powerful and all-consuming but it was Jason's choice to take it. It was Jason's choice to go to Crane for help. It was all his choice. He had a choice here. And it lead him to kill Hank and put his blood on Dawn's hands. Crane might be manipulating him but between him and the drug, Jason is turning into a shell of someone you used to know and you're thinking you don't want to know this version of him. And you think about the pit and maybe that's why it's so easy for Jason to bypass every moral he's ever had. Maybe the pit did take a part of his soul that day and that's just making it easier for Crane to turn him into this. Maybe this is who he is now.

And because of that, you know you have no other choice but to go to Dick.

You love Jason more than anything on the planet but that wasn't enough for him and maybe it's not enough for you either. You love the Titans, too and he's killing Hank and putting it on Dawn, maybe he is going to pick you all off one by one. You aren't going to sit here and watch it happen. You're not going to let him do it.

"Hey." Gar says quietly as he walks into the Batcave where you're staring, looking at the Robin suit.

"Hey, how you holding up?" You look back to him with sympathy. Gar was friends with Hank.

"Uh...ya know." Gar shrugs, standing beside you. "Sucks." Gar lets out a breath, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah." You answer shortly. "I'm sorry, Gar."

"It's not your fault." Gar lets out a sigh, looking to the ground and back to the suit. Bruce didn't get all of the blood out of it. There are still blotches of blood covering the R blade and the torso. He's tired of losing people, too. "What's wrong?" Gar asks, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. "You only look at the suits when you're thinking." Gar glances to you but you keep your eyes on the bloodstains.

You shake your head. "He killed Hank by making Dawn pull the trigger. That's kind of fucked...so," You shrug your shoulders. "Guess I'm just...I'm gonna have to come clean to Dick and throw Jason under the bus which also sucks." The words stick to your tongue like shards of glass.

Gar shakes his head quickly, knitting his brows together as he snaps his attention to you. "What do you mean? You said you'd always be on his side."

One of the things that kept Gar hopeful was that you were at least still on Jason's side. As long as you believed in him, Gar knew Jason had to still be there. But, if you're willing to throw in the towel after everything, that means that's it. It can't be it.

"He killed Hank." You look at Gar as you shrug. "He can't just kill innocent people."

"Yeah but..." Gar pauses, trying to figure out how he's going to argue with that. He agrees but if you give up, who does Jason have? Maybe he still needs someone in his corner. "You said he's still there. We just have to get through to him."

"Yeah, and then he did this. I begged him not to and that wasn't enough to get through to him." You argue. "So, I give up." 

Gar doesn't get it. You're the one person who's always on Jason's side. He knows this is fucked up. But he still believes his best friend is in there somewhere. Someone like Jason doesn't just go bad. They lived down the hall from each other and Gar knows him, too. Jason Todd is in there someone and he has to believe that. But you don't and it hurts. How can you give up?

"You love him. You can't...you can't really be giving up on him." Gar stutters as his heart breaks. "You always said you wouldn't and...I don't know. I get it but..." Gar shakes his head.

Gar's words strike a nerve. It's hard enough. It's not that you're giving up because you're not. You're going to Dick and that is to get him back. You can't do it on your own and you can't keep Jason's secrets for him anymore. It's not helping him, you, or the Titans. All it's doing is getting everyone else hurt or killed. You aren't giving up entirely but the idea that you shouldn't just because you love him pisses you off because it wasn't enough for Jason.

He gave up on you long before you ever had the chance to give up on him.

"Yeah—" You bite down, crunching your teeth together so hard you swear your teeth are going to shatter through your lips. "What if loving him isn't fucking enough, Gar!? Cause it sure as shit wasn't enough for him."

It wasn't enough to keep him here with you. It wasn't enough to keep him on solid ground. You know you will never be the same as Bruce or Dick. Their approval meant something different to him and that is fine. You accept that. But you don't know how your love for him wasn't enough to keep him at least trying to be safe. At least trying to just exist. You want to know why your love for him wasn't enough for him to consider your feelings. You want to know why love just wasn't enough. It should have been but it wasn't. It was always enough for you to not give up even when you wanted to. So, why the fuck wasn't it enough for him?

"I know you can't believe that. It's always been you and him." Gar shakes his head. "He's going through some shit. I don't think that's what it was. You said it was his partner and the drug. We just have to get him off it and away from them."

"Yeah, but..." Sam's bottom lip starts to quiver. "But why wasn't me loving him enough?" Her words break and tears leak from her eyes like a warm down faucet. Steady drops of broken. "Why wasn't my love for him enough?" You pause as you take a deep breath. "He did all of this!" You throw your hands out. "Without me. Without ever telling me shit and we were supposed to be a fucking team. Me loving him isn't fucking enough and it wasn't enough for him to fucking stay alive or say goodbye or come home when he had the chance."

Gar hangs his head and he wishes he had an answer but he doesn't. "I don't know but Jason has always been Jason." Gar's voice is quiet. "Maybe it was enough for him but he has more going on. I think you know why it wasn't enough but you don't want to admit it." Gar snips slightly. "You always knew whatever he was thinking and he did with you. That's why you know how to get him back!" Gar protests. "It's why Dick hasn't been fighting you and why Kory hasn't. We know that you can get him back and it sucks that you have to deal with it. But, it's Jason." Gart shakes his head. "We just have to get him away from his partner and the drug. We can get him back."

You look back to the suit because you know he's right. It's not fair to stand here and point a finger saying he doesn't love you enough. You know it's ridiculous but you're hurt and you want the blame off of your own shoulders. But, deep down you already think you know why it feels the way it does.

Things get good and it's a lot easier to run away from them and hurt them first before they ever have the chance to hurt you. Maybe that is what it boils down to. Jason got traumatized and doesn't know how to handle his problems. Bruce made him feel like Robin was the only thing he'd ever be good at and he was nothing without that mantle. So, it gets taken away and Jason's back to being that kid on the streets with nothing but a list of people who throw in the towel when things get a little too hard. Maybe he did it to protect you sure, but maybe it was also easier keeping you in the dark so you'd leave if you were going to anyway. He did what he always does. This time though, it's more than pushing one person away. It was desperation to be better, to heal his own mental illness by taking a shortcut and sacrificing pieces of himself. It's not about you, you were just collateral damage and you know that. And you aren't sure that makes it any better.

"I have been trying desperately to get through to him and it doesn't fucking work. He's stubborn as all fucking hell and he's really digging his feet in and I think he's doing on purpose. Jason Todd was always really good at self-destruction so maybe we fucking let him. Maybe we just let him blow himself up and see where that gets him. Maybe he needs to hit fucking rock bottom where his partner turns on him. Maybe he needs it. If me begging him and fighting him isn't enough, then he's on his own. I can't bail him out of this one."

"I don't want you to regret it though." Gar shakes his head. "And I don't want to lose him. Just yesterday you were the one that said you were scared to tell Dick in case it got him killed." Gar nearly pleads with you.

"I know but I am also worried that he's going to pick you guys off one by one. And..." You shake your head. "That's not fair to you guys. I am scared he's going to get himself killed but I can't just...watch him do this shit and not do anything. We're supposed to protect people." You urge. "We are supposed to protect people and right now, the Titans are the ones who need to be protected from him. Jason needs help, too but I don't know what else to do unless you have a better idea. You know Dick doesn't want him dead."

"It sucks, okay? All of this sucks!" Gar yells. "Losing Hank, Rachel is off trying to bring Donna back and I don't even know if she can do that, Donna is dead. Dawn is leaving forever. Jason is losing his mind and now you're giving up! This sucks! We're supposed to be a team and we're supposed to help each other. But, now Jason is killing Hank and everyone else wants to go after Jason. And now you want to help! I don't want to lose more of you guys. You guys are the only family I have." Gar's voice grows defeated and he didn't think being a Titan would look like this.

You pause for a few seconds and Gar never yells. "You know I wouldn't do anything involving Jason without thinking it through. Dick will know what to do and I'll make him promise not to kill him. We go after Jason to get to his partner. We get the partner and we get Jason. I have a plan."

"You do?" Gar asks cautiously, unsure if you're just saying it to make him feel better.

"Of course, I do." You huff. "I didn't sleep. I was thinking. Dick is not going to like my plan and neither are you. But I have a plan. You guys are my only family, plus Molly, I get it. Fuck Hank, ya know? But he was one of the Titans." You shake your head. "I give up on bailing him out of this shit but I'm not giving up on trying to help." You suck in a breath. "He wouldn't if it were me."

"Yeah, true." Gar nods softly. "So, you're just...going to tell Dick about the drug and his partner?" Gar asks.

"Yep." You nod. "That is going to be a fun conversation." You roll your eyes. "Wonder if he'll lecture me then or later about the drug." You offer a soft smile to Gar who just glares. "Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. It was dumb." You mock. 

"Yeah, seriously, please don't go do that again." Gar states softly.

"Of course, not. We see where that leads us." You widen your eyes, looking back to the suit. 

"Right." Gar nods slowly before taking in a deep breath. "I'm...I'm gonna make a pizza, do you wanna help?" Gar asks.

"Uh, I'm okay. I'm just gonna wait for Dick to get back. Rip the band-aid off type of deal."

Gar nods softly. "Let me know how it goes." Gar smiles softly before he heads out of the Batcave.

You sit on the front steps of the manor, waiting for Dick to get home from taking Dawn to the airport. You run through a whole speech to give to Dick. There is still that fear that if you tell Dick about Crane, maybe Crane will snap and think Jason turned on him and he'll have him killed. Crane is completely insane and that could happen. But, you know it's the right thing to do anyway. It might feel like a betrayal and it is. But, you have to do it. You just hope that when Jason finds out you went to Dick, one day he'll understand. Maybe when he's sober he'll understand. Jason can be really understanding and forgiving. You beg he'll understand one day.

The black car pulls right up to the manor and Dick spots you as you straighten your posture. He shuts the car off and sucks in a deep breath. You sitting on the front steps, seemingly waiting for him, seems like it's going to be bad news. Anytime you want to talk to him, it's usually something not good. Dick lets out a sigh, hanging his head for a second before pulling the keys from the ignition and exiting the vehicle. He walks up to the front steps, looking down at you as you offer him a nervous grin.

"Hey." You state cautiously.

"What's going on?" Dick asks.

You clear your throat as you get to your feet. "If I tell you who Jason is working with and what the drug does....can you promise me something?" You ask as Dick's eyes widen slightly.

Of all people, he didn't ever really expect you to come clean with anything.

"What is it?" Dick asks.

"Um...can you promise you won't kill him and that Kory and Conner won't either?" You ask as you tug your sleeves over your hands. "I know, okay? I know what he just did was fucking fucked, okay? I know. But...it's not...it's not really all him and I just...he's your brother and you took me in. And I...I don't..." You shake your head. "I can't lose him again, okay? So, you gotta promise you guys won't kill him and that we'll do everything in the world to make sure this shit doesn't get him killed again, okay? That's the only way I can tell you anything."

"I don't want to kill him." Dick's words are stern. "He just killed Hank." Dick pauses and he sees your eyes water and your weight shift between your feet. Jason was Dick's responsibility and some of this is still on Dick. "Okay." Dick nods. "I won't kill him and I'll talk to Kory."

That's all you needed to start talking. All you needed was the confirmation that they're going to make sure Jason doesn't die again. Jason still deserves a chance here. Everything is a mess and he's really messed up big time but that doesn't mean he shouldn't get a chance at something better. And at the end of it all, you still think Jason deserves his chance at being happy and safe and healthy. He just needs to get through this shit.

"Okay." You say hesitantly. "Um...so, you know Jason likes to play games." You states. "Well, the formula, the reason you didn't know what it was, it was coded. It was just a game. I think he expected you to find it." You explain. "But, then you gave it to me and I brought to a friend of mine who's a genius and he helped me crack it."

"He coded the damn formula and you figured it out?" Dick questions.

"Yes, he did and no, Tim did which by the way," You laugh softly. "Good luck with that one. He knows you're Nightwing, Robin 1.0. Jason was Robin 2.0. I'm Bluejay and Bruce is Batman. I denied it but he's got research on all of us and the Titans. He knows. So, good luck with that, dumbass."

Dick blinks at you for a second. He was so careful, how could someone figure out who he is? Bruce was even more careful than he was. No one has ever figured it out and now you suddenly know someone who knows? How did that even happen? Dick really does not have time for this.

"What? How does he know?" Dick almost demands.

"Yeah, uh, you can perform a trapeze trick that only you and your dad could perform. Nightwing also performs that same trick. Like I said, figure out you're Robin and the other pieces just come together." You shrug. "Which is how he figured the rest of us out. So, good job. I denied it of course but let me tell you, he's a genius and he definitely isn't going to let it rest. We used to guess who Robin and Batman were. He had theories and so did I. So, good luck dealing with that."

"Great." Dick scoffs. Dick can't help but think coming back to Gotham might have been a little bit of a bad idea. How he is stuck dealing with all of this at the same time? Can't he just catch a break? "Continue."

"Right, so he cracked it for me and it's fear. So, naturally, I go to his lab and make the drug and I take it."

Dick lets out a sigh as he looks to the ground. "I can't believe you went and made and then took Jason's drug. What if it were a setup?" Dick places a hand on his hip and you almost laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't do drugs and that's bad science. Lecture me later. That's not the point of this." You scrunch your nose. "Well, I didn't feel scared or paranoid or worried. I didn't feel much of anything besides anger. That was still there. So, Jason made a drug that cures fear."

Dick watches you carefully and he only knows one person that could make a drug that could cure fear. "You've got to be kidding me." Dick holds the bridge of his nose. "Jonathan Crane." Dick scoffs. "He's working with Jonathan Crane?" Dick nearly starts yelling.

"Yep." You roll your eyes. "So I confronted him. That's when I found Hank and I yelled at him and questioned why he'd work with Crane. He said Crane helped him and made him better, that Crane actually cares about him unlike you, Bruce, and me. So, he's been working with Crane and making an anti-fear drug and Crane is manipulating him and doing a damn good job." You explain. "He was high the day he went after the Joker. It's what got him killed. I think Crane probably planned for it. Expected Jason to die that night and the only one not in the loop was Jason."

"So, Crane could use the excuse of him bringing Jason back." Dick finishes. "Why would Jason go to Crane in the first place?" Dick asks and for the life of him, he can't figure out what would lead Jason to Crane.

Jason has always been troubled and had his issues but this just seems crazy. Jason knows the risks of Jonathan Crane, Dick does. At least Jason going after the Joker finally makes sense. Dick knows Jason wasn't that reckless but working with Crane?

"He was freezing on patrol. Getting hurt all the time. Nightmares, shaking hands. His leg pain was still there. Bruce took Robin away. Dick, it was bad for him. Like...really fucking bad. I guess he was desperate enough. I had no idea he was doing this shit. I was ready to call you and come back, with him."

Dick pauses for a few seconds as he starts to think and he knows why Crane has been so helpful now. It's to put the entire target on Jason and keep Crane out of the limelight until the time is right. It's how Crane always functioned and Jason and Dick fell right into the trap.

"Okay, so, why did he target Hank and not you? You know. You took his drug. Crane is going want to seclude him from everyone that cares about him. That's not Hank, that's you." Dick points out and he's also trying to make sure you're really coming clean. At the end of the day, you've been the one on Jason's side and it's hard for Dick to believe you're just turning over a new leaf over Hank Hall.

"Oh, have no fear, Dickolas, thought of that, too." You state. "Hank was enough to set the Titans off. Piss everyone off and target Jason entirely, leaves Crane out of it. As for me, though, I think Jason still has a line and I'm the line. I threw the first punch yesterday, not him. We both know if Jason didn't pull his punches, I'd have more than a few bruises. But, I think Crane is trying to turn him against me, too. Like you said, seclude him."

"What did he say?" Dick asks.

"Um...that I liked him better before? That Crane was right about me. Whatever the fuck that means. He also said I was using him?" You roll your eyes. "I think Crane is trying but there's a part of Jason that knows it's bullshit."

"Right, okay." Dick nods. "So, how does the drug work? If he can refrain from hurting you, couldn't he refrain from killing Hank?"

"I don't think it works like that. He asked me if I wanted to help and I almost did because I was already mad at Hank. I would never do that otherwise. It's like the only thing you want to do is hurt someone else because it's thrilling. You don't feel much of anything but anger when something sets you off. And it can be something small that sends you into a rage, it did for me. I'm thinking it works the same for Jason. I didn't care that I was hurting him or that we were fighting. I didn't care. I didn't even care that he was gonna kill Hank. But, I still didn't want to hurt him. There was something that still kept me from actually physically hurting him. I could have but I didn't. I think he has some restraint but I think if Crane picks at those parts of him, he'll crack."

"It's the exact opposite of the fear gas while still letting Crane reap the benefits." Dick lets out a scoff, almost mad at himself he didn't figure it out sooner. "Jason said Crane was right about you." Dick states. "Did Jason tell him about all of us?"

"I don't know. We didn't really talk about it but I'm guessing he did. I'm not sure what else he would mean by Crane being right about us."

"That's why Crane is helping him. Jason gets the cure to fear and Crane gets information on all of us and Bruce." Dick shakes his head. "It's a mutual benefit." Dick scoffs and he's growing more mad at Jason for going to Crane in the first place. If Jason wanted to fuck up his life, that's on him but now he's dragged everyone else down with him. And for what?

"Yep." You nod your head. "Look, Crane is gonna lose it eventually, it's what he does. We gotta get to Jason before that happens. I don't know how to do that alone. It's one of the reasons I'm telling you."

"I'm guessing you have an idea though."

"Well, if we break into Arkham and kill Crane..."

"No." Dick states. "We're not going to kill him."

"But, literally all of our problems would be solved if you let me do it." You nod. "Like, ya know, in and out. Boom, dead. Jason comes back home. It's a win."

"We're not killing people." Dick states. "Besides, we'll need Jason first. If he's as far gone as it sounds, he'll think we're doing it to spite him and then what? We need to know what Crane has planned. The last time Crane was up to something, he had the entire system rigged with his fear gas. If you go and kill him before we know the plan, he could release the new drug and then what happens?"

You narrow your eyes but nod. "Yeah, that's true. I didn't think of that. So, what do we do then?" 

"Well, I'll need to get to Crane." Dick states.

"We." You correct him as you cross your arms. "You're not gonna do this alone. It involves Jason so you involve me. If not, any new information I get, I keep to myself."

Dick doesn't want you involved. None of this should even be the Titans business. This should remain between him and Jason. Based on everything Crane has already told Dick, putting this on Jason, it does seem as though Dick is supposed to be Jason's target somewhere down the line. It's supposed to be between them. But, you've lodged yourself in the middle of it and he remembers San Francisco.

"Fine, but you do what I say." Dick warns.

"Deal." You mock him with wide eyes.

Just then Dick gets a phone call from Babs. Apparently, there was a targeted attack on Crane last night in Arkham by Red Hood. For his own safety, he's being transferred today to Blackgate. And Dick thinks you don't have to break him out. He'll already be accessible.

"Go get your suit. I have a plan." Dick states as he turns back towards the car.

"Uh...yeah, okay?" You question quickly before you spin around and dart into the manor before Dick can change his mind.

Dick and you head off to Arkham Asylum as you wait for Crane to be transferred. On the way, Dick clued you in on what was going on and what Babs told him. Dick's new plan is actually to kidnap Crane and hold him hostage. You and Dick are going to lure Jason out to the cabin where some of their Robin training took place. It's secluded, away from everyone else who could get hurt and Jason will know exactly where to go. Dick knows those woods like the back of his hand. It's an even playing field for the two of them. And you're thrilled.

You have yet to meet Crane face to face but you already hate him. You hate what he did to the city even if you admire the creativity of a fear gas. But, he's insane and you've got a real problem with anyone who turns other innocent people into monsters, especially by using their own pain against them. It's exactly what he's been doing to Jason. Holding Crane hostage, might be fun for you. And at the end of this, maybe it'll work and you'll get Jason back. But, you're trying not to bank on that. The plans don't always seem to go as planned.

The two of you watch as the guards bring out Crane and that's when Dick gives you the all-clear. The two of you head off towards the transport van, sneaking around pillars and other cars to remain undetected. Dick is the first to make the move and grab the guard near the driver's side of the van. You then go after the one coming from the back of them. Dick and you both knock the two men unconscious and leave them on the ground before heading to the back of the van.

Dick takes down the last guard before he opens the back of the van to reveal Jonathan Crane looking somewhere between confused and worried. Your fists ball at your sides as your teeth grit and he's definitely made his way to the top of your list.

"Let's go." Dick states turning around and walking away.

You glare at him for a few more seconds and you debate for just a split second on shooting acid at him or throwing a knife. One swift move and it'd be over for him. It would be over for Jason. But Dick is right. If he has something planned to poison the city, you need to know. So, you roll your eyes and turn around, following Dick to the car while Crane scurries out of the van to follow the two of you. 

Dick opens the passenger door for Crane while you get in the back. Crane offers you a displeased smile as you grimace at him. Dick gets back in the car, sending you a quick but warning glance before he starts the car again.

The drive is quiet at first, Dick and you wanting to not say a word to Crane or each other with him in the car. Instead, Dick focuses on just getting you all to the cabin and how he'll handle the aftermath of everything. You, on the other hand, think about how mad Jason is going to be when he finds out you're here. It's going to be another problem to sort out but he'll understand later because he has to. And you focus all of your anger and worry on Crane. The hit was on purpose so Jason could break him out which means some part of their plan is coming together and you focus your anger on that. It's a lot easier to be angry with Crane than worry about Jason and how this plan could go south.

After awhile though, apparently, Crane gets tired of the quiet.

"I'm an Alfa man myself. Those Italians, those lines, that flair...the sprezzatura. It's a term. It means the art of making something complicated look easy. Like that trail of bodies you guys left back there. You didn't even break a sweat, did you? Like old pros. See, now that is sprezzatura." Crane states with ease but he pauses for a second, looking over to Dick and spotting a gun. "Look, I don't need to worry about that piece you nicked from the B.O.P. back there, do I? I mean you wouldn't shoot a bound and defenseless man now, would you?"

"Depends." Dick keeps his eyes on the road, offering Crane no emotion.

"I would." You state with enthusiasm from the backseat.

Crane looks back at you with a slight scowl. "That is not very nice."

"I'm not nice." You quip with a chortle.

"So, just bad cop and bad cop, huh?" Crane asks but all he gets is a shrug and an eyebrow raise from you. "Are you his little sidekick?"

"No." You scoff. "Shut the fuck up before I make you."

Dick glances in the mirror, giving you another warning look. You mock the look right back.

"She is a feisty one, isn't she?" Crane looks at Dick.

"Shut up." Dick groans.

Jason saw you with Dick as you left Arkham. That little voice is the back of head that Crane has triggered gets a little bit louder. Of all people, you're going to work with Dick. He's told you to stay out of it but you won't. You know Jason is going to go after Dick and yet here you are, kidnapping his new mentor who actually cares about him with Dick. With his older brother. The original Robin. That's when Jason is piecing together maybe you have ditched your loyalty to him and moved with the Titans. You swore you wouldn't and he is ready to explode.

Jason: teaming up with Dick now?

He doesn't know why he texts it. He doesn't know exactly why he's going to bother because you'll lie to him anyway. You always swore you wouldn't but he knows if you are working with him, you'll lie to him. But, there's something inside of him that has to ask you anyway. He wants to know why. You hated Hank, too. And in that moment of being high, you understood it. That can't be the only reason you'd suddenly be on Dick's side. You're never on his side.

You: no.

Jason nearly groans out loud with the simple response.

Jason: why are you with him then? kidnapping crane?

You: involves you, Dick is pissed about Hank just making sure you don't kill each other

Jason doesn't buy it. It is never as simple as making sure people get along with you. That was always Gar's job. If it were about making sure they don't kill each other, you'd have Gar. That's not it. Jason is starting to wonder if you're just going after Crane. Maybe Crane is your target and Jason is Dick's. Maybe you're in this together. You and Dick have to be.

You: maybe I want a shot Crane

Jason grins softly at his phone as he looks up the gloomy sky above Gotham. Jason isn't going to let you kill Crane and he's betting Dick won't either. Dick is smarter than that and he'll know there's a bigger plan and Crane won't give it up. But, he finds it amusing because maybe that is just your motive. It is a very you motive to have in order to tag along.

Jason: you won't kill him

You: lol that a bet?

Jason: I'm serious

You: So am I

Jason: be careful

You: you be careful

Jason: this is between us not you Jason: if you're there for Crane leave dick to me

He says it on purpose. Fine, if you want your shot at Crane, you can take it. Jason knows you won't do it. You didn't get to kill the Joker and you think Crane is bad for Jason and he's turning Jason into something he's not. Jason firmly believes you'd offer Jason the shot instead of taking it yourself. So, he says it on purpose just to see if you'll actually go after Crane or if you'll go against Jason and protect Dick. He says it just to see which side you're really on. If you protect Dick, he has his answer and Crane is right.

You: involves you so it does involve me and yeah that wasn't convincing. Don't kill him that's tragic just like I said in San Fran two Robins fighting 

Jason: stay out of it

You: don't fucking shoot me

Jason: how do you know I'll show up?

You: revenge on Dick, we have Crane, I'm here, you can't resist a good challenge

Jason: lol yeah

You put your phone back in your pocket and keep your conversation between you, just that. Crane doesn't need to know he texted you. That might be bad. But, you already have a feeling what Jason is doing. Ever since he came back, it's been about what side you're on. He's making you choose and while you're here with Dick, you're just trying to do what's in Jason's best interest. Despite your conversation with Gar, you aren't giving up. You aren't completely picking sides. If this blows up and Jason gets away, you can always keep to the story that you were just there to make sure they didn't kill each other. What Jason doesn't know, can't hurt him.

The speakers start ringing through the car as Dick glances to the screen. Dick's lets out a sigh before he tabs the answer button on the screen.

"Hello?" Dick states.

"Where are you, Dick?" Barbara asks.

"Change of plans." Dick states and you want to know how he's able to remain so emotionless.

"Bring Crane back." Barbara demands.

"I will." Dick states casually.

"I'd get that in writing if I were you." Crane states.

"Shut up!" You groan.

"You brought Y/n with you, seriously? And is that him listening?"

"I volunteered." You chime.

"Yo, Babs." Crane chimes back.

"Jesus, Dick. I need Crane back here right now."

Dick looks to Crane and he's definitely not bringing Crane back. "Gotta go." Dick states before he hangs up, earning a snort from you.

"She's gonna kill you." You chuckle.

"I overheard the police talking about what happened...to that Hawk fellow." Crane states.

Dick scrunches his face, taking a harsh turn around a corner, you grabbing the Oh Shit handle from the back.

"Red Hood is a monster. We've both got proof of that now. But I can still help you. You know, just let me know what I can do."

"You can shut up." Dick states. "Enjoy the sprezzatura."

You smile widely from the back seat. You like this version of Dick. It's more fun.

After a while longer in the car, you finally start to pull into the woods. You adjust yourself to look out of the window as Dick drives. He's driving through a clearing but it is surrounded by trees and overgrown grass. Sometimes, you forget the insanity Bruce put Jason and Dick through in order to let them be Robin but as you watch the trees grow thicker the further Dick drives, you remember. Jason didn't talk much about the cabin. The most he said was that it was brutal. Maybe a part of you doesn't want to know what he went through.

Dick finally stops the car outside of a chain that's chained to two posts, blocking off the rest of the path.

"Let me go." Crane states.

"Not gonna happen." Dick says.

Dick gets out of the car, leaving Crane and you. Dick unlocks the chain while Crane decides he's going to try and make a run for it. He glances back to you before quickly unlocking the door and bolting out of the car as quickly as he can with his hands still cuffed in front of him. You start laughing as you get out of the back of the car, resting your arm on the open door.

"Oh, so he's stupid, stupid?" You cackle as you look over to Dick.

"Guess so." Dick chuckles, jerking his head toward the woods. "Bruce has the place rigged. He has to know that." Dick says, amusement in his voice as you btoh start walking in the direction Crane ran.

"Yeah, that's what Jason said." You laugh softly. "Part of your training was to avoid them." You mock softly as you hear Crane yell from a few yards ahead of you. "So, Crane failed."

"Jason told you about this place?"

"Just that and that it was brutal. He told me about the other stuff, not really this." You suck in a breath, watching the leaves crunch beneath your shoes. 

The two of you find Crane strung up in a net in the trees. Dick sticks his hands in his pockets looking only mildly amused while you're on the verge of bursting into a fit of laughter. If it were up to you, you'd just leave him there and let the birds of prey get to him. A slow and painful death sounds perfect for him.

"You're supposed to be smart but you didn't think there would be a trap?" You question as you look up to Crane who just glares down at you.

"Are you done now?" Dick asks, looking up to Crane.

Crane scowls at you btoh. Dick goes to cut him down and offers no warning before Crane falls right to the ground. You start laughing as you watch Crane groan from the ground.

"I find that funny." You beam down at him.

"You're not pleasant." Crane glares back at you.

"I know." Sam shrugs cheerfully. "Neither are you." You widen your eyes to mock him.

"Get up." Dick grabs Crane by the arm, dragging him to his feet. "Are you having fun?" Dick asks you.

"Yes, yes I am." You basically skip as the three of you start walking.

"Ah, is this where you carve up your victims?" Crane asks after a few minutes of walking, Dick pushing him from the back.

"Just keep walking." Dick states.

"Dick wouldn't make a good Leatherface. He's too nice." You grin wildly back at Crane before you gain a pep in your step. You don't see it but Dick almost grins.

The three of you get to the cabin and Dick plops Crane in a chair at the table before he chains him to the table. You take a seat at a chair to the left of Crane, mostly so he's in hitting distance in case he tries something again.

"It's not what you think it is." Crane warns. "Look, I had nothing to with what happened to your friend. What's his name, Hawk?"

"You don't get to talk about him." Dick threatens.

"It was Red Hood who did it. The kid's a monster."

You grit your teeth as Crane speaks. Jason isn't a fucking monster. He was never a monster. He was never a poison. He was never bad. He was always just a victim of everything around him and you're sick of people making him out to be this horrible, no good, and irredeemable person because that is not Jason Todd. And it shouldn't ever be.

"Bullshit! You were the one that made Jason into a monster." Dick yells back and a part of you almost lets out a breath of relief because finally, someone else sees it. "The attack at Arkham was a phony. It wasn't a hit. It was just an excuse to get your ass out of Blackgate. Red Hood's your protege. And I know he's coming here to save you."

"You may be overestimating him."

"He'll come. He knows this place." Dick states. "Bruce took him here, too. It's where he trained us." Dick says before he opens one of the cabinets, revealing monitors with feeds to cameras around the property. "We'll see him coming a mile away."

It's as if every time you find something more about Bruce, the more you think he's insane. You're pretty sure he didn't really need that many monitors or need to throw kids into the woods to train them.

"So, why would he walk into a trap?" Crane asks.

"Because he can't help himself. Because you made him feel invincible. Because I brought her." Dick glances to you and you almost scoff. You're only here because you have information and the ability to continue to get information.

"You think I changed him? Oh, buddy, no. I got news for you. That kid came to me broken, okay? All I did was rebuild him. And it was easy, too after what you did to him in SF. And that Titans business, what a twisted mind-fuck. I kind of wish I'd actually thought of that myself." Crane looks to you. "And you're using another kid. How did that work out last time?"

"He's not using me you fucking prick. He didn't want me to come." You grit your teeth at him. "Jason was never fucking broken."

That's the thing that even Jason never got. He was never broken. He wasn't damaged goods and he wasn't a poison. He was just Jason Todd and he had his problems but he wasn't broken. He was hurt and there is a very big difference between being broken and damaged and just being hurt. He never needed to be fixed.

"You didn't fucking fix him. He never needed to be fucking fixed. You just made him worse and then convinced him he was fixed." You bite back.

"Oh, is that right? Tell me, why didn't he come to you? He's better now, isn't he? He told me all about you." Crane taunts in a way that is almost effortless.

"No, he's not better and I'm willing to bet he didn't." You suck in a breath, trying desperately not to let Crane win. But, you really were never good about maintaining your temper when it comes to people you love.

"Acid generation, held captive, tortured. Dick found you. All that SF stuff, you were there. Right with him. You couldn't save him then."

Dick almost expects you to finally snap. Jason told Crane about you and that should have been his line to never cross. You have done everything in your power not to cross the line to loop Dick in and Dick actually wants to help. But then you just start grinning because if that's all Crane knows then he doesn't know everything. Which means, Jason was always just trying to keep you at a distance from him. A part of him didn't trust Crane enough and you're hoping you can peck at that like Crane's been doing to every other part of Jason.

"Yeah, all true." You nod your head. "But, you're wrong about him. And you're wrong about Dick, too." You deflect, trying not to give away Jason hiding something from him.

Dick takes his chance to get the conversation away from you. You shouldn't be bullied by Crane and you might snap if Crane continues. "It's not true. Whatever Jason told you."

"Isn't it? Isn't that what you do to all the young people that you fail? Abandon them. Or kill them. How is that little witch girl, by the way?" Crane questions. "Or the mute boy. Oh." Crane scoffs. "You must be so sorry about all of that now."

Dick isn't going to play into Crane's hand, it's what he wants. "Time to eat." Dick tosses him an unopened can of food "Watch him. I'm gonna get some wood." Dick states as he puts on his coat and heads out.

You watch as Crane looks at the label and rolls his eyes. As far as you're concerned, he should be thankful Dick tossed him any type of food to begin with. You wouldn't be feeding him. But you admire Dick's ability to stay calm and not feed into Crane's bullshit.

On the way to Arkham to grab him, Dick gave you an entire run down of dos and don'ts. Your research into him is just what Bruce had but it's nothing compared to actually meeting him as he tries to get inside of everyone's heads. Dick made it clear that Crane would try to say anything to convince you to side with him. He warned you about him being charismatic and a master manipulator, even though that part was in Bruce's file. And while you're listening to him, you do wonder why Dick is so good at it or at least pretending to be good at it.

"So, whose side are you really on?" Crane asks. "I find it hard to believe you're really working with Dick here."

"I guess you'll find out, won't you? Or does it matter? I'm guessing you told Jason I wasn't on his side anyway." You lean back in your chair as you cross your arms.

"Aren't you?" Crane asks. "You're here with him. Trying to use me to capture him. That does not sound like you're on his side." Crane raises his brows as if he's trying to seem innocent in his reasoning.

"I'm always on his side. You just like to manipulate people. Saving him from you is on his side. Me and Dick just have a mutual interest in the situation." You keep your voice level, trying to mimic Dick.

"Do you think he'll believe you? He hasn't taken your side yet. Like I said, he's a monster." Crane offers a delicate shrug of his shoulder and it almost sets you off. And Crane knows it because calling Jason broken already did.

"He's not a monster. You are. People who are manipulated and drugged into doing monstrous things are not monsters. But good try." You quip back.

"Drugged?" Crane questions, acting confused and you know you slipped.

How does Dick deal with him without giving anything away? But you're also good on your feet. You've always been good at thinking of lies and believable ones.

"Don't play dumb. That's how you got to him, right? Has to be. There's no other reason he'd be doing all of this. Jason gets tortured and ends up with PTSD. He dies, comes back, and works with you and now he's suddenly not having any PTSD symptoms. It's a drug, right? You said you fixed him." You shrug your shoulders as Crane gains a cornered grin.

"You are confident, aren't you? Tell me, what do you think he'll do when he sees you here? Do you think he will really just walk away from it all? I have news for you, you're not that important to him." Crane sneers back as you're starting to get under his skin.

"I know." You state, letting yourself hurt. If you don't sound hurt, he can go back and tell Jason you don't care. "But it's worth a shot anyway. And I want you to know, you are only alive right now because Dick is here. You're on my list."

"That's right. Bluejay, the hero turns killer. Sound familiar? You birds think you're above people like me but three of the four of you are killers now. Look how similar we are."

"Bruce killed a homicidal psychopathic sadist. I kill people who kill and hurt kids. You turned Jason into a killer. We are not the same."

"Are you making the rules for killing now? Oh, that's good. How's that working out for you? Do you think after this is over, Dick will let it slide? All the Titans? I think you'll be in a cell right next to mine."

"Nope. Nice try though. You can't manipulate me as much as you try." You offer him a sarcastic grin.

"How's this: your boyfriend came to me instead of you. He trusts me with his secrets more than you. He hasn't even looped you in or tried to get you on our side. He told me all about how you got together, too. He told me about your little friend Gar. The green fella. How you picked him over Jason. That's a cruel thing you did." Crane explains as you can feel your blood start to boil. "Honestly, he does deserve so much better than you just for that alone. You know, he hasn't mentioned you since. Looks like he means more to you than you do to him. Maybe he was the one using you." Crane shrugs his shoulders easily.

It shouldn't bother you because Crane is just doing what he does. He's trying to get under your skin to get you to snap or side with him. He's trying to get you to reveal your weaknesses so he can use them against you. You know. But, it's really difficult because even Crane saying it is confirmation to you. You know Jason deserves better. It was always a thought you had the entire time. But, it was the fact Jason chose you anyway and you chose him. Now, you're here though where it feels more like Crane might have a point. You aren't going to give that away though.

You lean forward towards Crane. "Look, I need you to understand this: I am coming for you. You can say whatever you want about Jason and why he came to you and whatever you wanna think. But one thing is certain, you are not going to make it out of this alive, Crane. I made a promise the day he died. I was going to come for every single person that made Jason Todd feel like he was not good enough, that he had something to prove, that made him believe he were a monster. I'm coming for you. You're alive now because of Dick, that is it. But once Dick gets what he wants, I'm going to kill you. Your days are numbered." You huff as you lean back in your seat.

"You won't do it." Crane taunts. "I matter to that boy of yours. You won't want him to leave you based on you not being able to control your killer instincts. I helped him with a cure. Do you think he'll forget that?"

"Then I'll live with the consequences. He'll understand one day and if I lose him, fine. But at least you can't fucking hurt him anymore."

"Like you have? It seems you've hurt him the most by not trusting him. I bet he's just devasted by you being here with Dick."

"Fuck you." You scoff.

"Yeah, that's right. You pretend to talk a big game but I know who you really are. You only look out for yourself. I get it. I really do. You had no choice out there on the streets and with your abusive foster father. It's your defense mechanism. Killing me isn't for Jason, it's for you. You can claim you saved him from me, a way to get to him and control him, use him the way you always have. Whenever something goes wrong, you go to him, don't you? You used him for the manor and the money. The weapons."

You suck in a breath and you think maybe Dick is just a better person than you are. He is, at the very least, more patient.

You get up and take a right hook to Crane's face as Crane yells out. You lean down, putting your hands on your knees. "You don't know who the fuck I am. Stop pretending like you do. Everything I do is not for me."

Crane spits blood onto the floor. "Really? Because this whole conversation you haven't said a word on how you feel about our boy. It's been about what you're going to do."

"Do you think I'm stupid enough to tell you how I feel about Jason? Or any details about us? You'll use it against me and him and I'm not desperate. I'm not falling for it. You don't get to know a damn thing about us from me."

"I already do." Crane grins wildly. "And I know how to get him to turn on you. I really hoped maybe you would come around to our side but...Jason will figure it out. I'll make sure of that."

You shouldn't do it and you know you shouldn't but you straighten your stance, pull your fist back, and punch him in the face again.

"You are so annoying." You groan as you take a step back just as the door opens.

Dick spots Crane hunched over in pain, spitting more blood onto the floor and you looking significantly more annoyed than when he left.

"Really?" Dick questions as he walks back in carrying firewood.

"If you didn't see that coming, that's on you, Dickolas." You sigh as you sit back down. "It was two punches, he's fine."

"I'm in pain!" Crane yells, gesturing with his cuffed hands.

"Oh, boo-hoo." You scrunch your face. "You're fine." You roll your eyes as you lean back in your chair, crossing your arms.

Dick ignores the bickering as he gets the fire going. The room starts to fall silent but with Jonathan Crane around, the room can't remain quiet for very long. Apparently, Crane wants to try and work Dick again.

"So, what's your plan here?" Crane asks.

"I told you. Wait for Red Hood and take him out."

"No, I mean, I mean in Gotham. You stepping into Daddy's shoes? Now don't get me wrong, I mean, you know, we all want to please our parents. That's why I became a doctor. You see how well that worked out, right?" Crane chuckles softly.

"You actually think we're the same?" Dick asks as he takes off his coat.

"No, no, no. What I'm saying is that we all get stuck on this hamster wheel," Crane sighs. "Trying to live up to the expectations of others. We always think that it's gonna turn out...different but the outcome is somehow always the same."

"And is that what you told Jason?" Dick asks.

"No, I'm talking about you. You come back here and you wanna bathe Gotham in blood as if that's somehow a better outcome than anything that Batman ever did. Bruce was a psychopath. He was using fear to control everyone, including his sons. I mean, he did it to Jason and he did it to you. And you and Jason, you both use that fear. You wield it like a weapon, but it hurts people, right? It hurts people that you care about. Like Hawk. It's still Bruce's game. Isn't it? It always has been." Crane pauses as the room goes silent. "Is there something on your mind?"

Dick chuckles softly. "Fear is your friend."

"What's that?"

"Bruce used to say it." Dick states. "He said, 'Fear reveals your weakness...and it gives you the chance to make it your strength."

"Hmm." Crane hums. "And him being the man that is, he...needed to make sure that you were afraid, didn't he?"

"I was out here all alone once. Bruce made me go out into the forest by myself for the first time. I had no idea what was out there." Dick starts as he tells the story about being chased by a wolf and being terrified he was going to be eaten alive, Bruce nowhere to help him.

"You were just a boy and those were the lessons that he taught you." Crane lets out a sigh as he shakes his head. "It's not your fault. But you need to make sure that this doesn't happen to someone else. That it stops with you. Now you let Gotham take care of Gotham. The water will find its level. Stop trying to prove something here."

Before Dick can respond, the alarm starts going off about a perimeter break. Your heart sinks with the alarm. Jason really just can't help himself. He has to come and prove something. Maybe, just maybe, Crane might have a point about that, actually. You hate to even think that but...Jason just showed up to prove something. He went to Crane to prove to Bruce he was good enough. Crane might be an asshole but he is making a little bit of a point, actually.

"But, the thing about that is, I've already proved myself." Dick states. "That night when I was a kid...without Bruce." Dick finishes the story, saying he was the one that killed the wolf with all the gory details. "I shouldn't have been afraid of the wolf. The wolf should have been afraid of me. Now, let's get you all fixed up. Company's coming." Dick starts undoing Crane's chains as you sit with wide eyes.

Maybe everyone is a monster. Or capable of being one. Maybe everyone has a monster inside of them but it's about what they use the monster for that actually makes them monstrous or not. Dick had no choice, do or die.

You know the wolf probably just wanted him out of its territory. Wolves have only attacked twice in North America since the early 1900s. Wolves aren't animals to typically fear. He didn't know any better but he was a monster that night to the wolf. And you know Dick isn't a monster. Not at his core. And you aren't either. And you know Jason isn't. But you've all done monstrous things out of self-preservation. Out of fear.

Maybe how people use that fear and those ideas is what makes them a monster. And if that's true, maybe most people can be saved. Maybe the monster just needs to know other ways to deal with the fear that fuels it.

You and Dick suit up once Crane is ready and you both head out to the woods. The plan is to subdue Jason, not kill him and then bring him back. That's it. You'll have him detox from the drug at the manor where it's safe. It'll be a two-on-one fight. And Dick is still a better fighter than Jason. You should be able to do this. So, you both head to the woods and you spot Jason down looking through the scope of a gun. 

Dick and you tread lightly, you staying further off to the side and behind Dick. You don't particularly want to fight Jason again if you don't have to, especially since you're sober. You know you actually might be here more to make sure they don't kill each other and just in case. Which is fine with you. But, as the two of you start to close in on Jason, Crane cuts the lights and Dick steps on a twig making Jason spin around immediately, blocking Dick's first hit. 

Dick tackles Jason, sending the two of them down a small hill. You follow the two of them just in time to see them both get back to their feet. Dick gets his enigma sticks in hand while Jason pulls out two pistols. The two of them start throwing hits using their weapons but the second Jason starts actually firing his gun, you step in.

You come in from the side, taking a kick to Jason's arm which gives Dick the opportunity to hit Jason in the knee. The hit sends Jason to the ground as he kneels, looking up to Dick as you walk beside him.

"Wow, classic moves. You even fight like Bats, huh?" Jason quips.

"Let it rest, Jay." You state and you can't see it, but he's surprised you're here fighting him. With Dick. And he's pissed. He really hoped you would take your shot at Crane even though he knew you wouldn't. You're just on Dick's side, lying to him.

"Not a chance, babe." Jason states. "Thought you wanted your shot at Crane, huh?"

"Yeah, I do but you're the one shooting the gun so." You shrug. "Not worth it." You shake your head softly as Jason grits his teeth under his helmet.

"We'll see." Jason says before quickly taking another shot at Dick, just as Dick moves out of the way.

You kick Jason just as Dick spins around and electrocutes Jason with his enigma stick. Jason falls back to the ground but only for a few seconds before he's back on his feet. He starts firing, trying to follow where Dick is going while you throw a knife, blade towards you at Jason's arm. It knocks his aim off just enough and Dick takes a shot with one of the enigma sticks. He uses it like a boomerang as it flies past Jason and hits his arm on the way back. 

The three of you continue to fight, Jason mostly trying to target Dick and only defending himself against you. But, it's two to one and Jason is growing more annoyed at the entire situation. You know when he's going to fight back and Dick is flipping around. But, he's trying until Dick gets a good hit to his arm, knocking it useless for a few minutes.

Jason is hunched over, holding his arm against his torso while you and Dick stand in front of him. You never wanted him to get hurt here. None of you should be getting hurt, especially at the hands of each other.

"You told Crane everything?" Dick questions. "Everything!?" Dick yells. "This ends here."

"What did you think was gonna happen?" Jason straightens his stance. "After what you did to me. After what you let happen!"

"This isn't on me! You made your own choices."

You take a step back and this is definitely their fight. You were always on Jason's side with what happened. But, it's been hashed out. It was talked through months ago. Whatever mind game Crane played for all of this to resurface is insane. But, you suck in a breath because while the stuff that happened in San Francisco is Dicks' fault, the stuff that's happened here isn't. Not really. It's more Bruce's fault but Bruce is nowhere to be found so you figure Dick is just an easy target. Jason, clearly, doesn't see the irony in that one.

"Like you made yours? Come on, dude, you're just like the old man. A copy. Everything you do. Everything is because of him." Jason says as he throws something at Dick and shoots it sending off a flash bang.

Dick and you get blinded which gives Jason the oppurtunity to take several swings at Dick before he has him in a choke hold, Dick on his knees. Jason holds a gun to his head and for a second, he thinks he's finally won.

"But not for long."

After all of this torturous hell, he's won. This can be the endgame. He gets Dick and he gets to snuff out the person he thinks is responsible for all of his pain. That's what this was about. But, you come back into view with the flashbang wearing off and you stand directly in front of Jason just a few feet away from him.

"Put the gun down, Jason." You grit your teeth.

"You on his side now?" Jason asks.

"Fuck." You groan. "No, but I fucking told you, you're not killing him." You seethe as you pull out a knife. "Let him fucking go, Jason."

"You know what he did!" Jason yells.

"No, I know what he did then and you squashed that shit. The shit that happened here isn't on him. You wanna blame someone then blame me." You shrug as you hold the knife steady and ready to be thrown in a split second.

The words catch Jason off guard. Crane has been telling him this whole time that you're the reason he suffered here. You're one of the reasons. If it weren't for you, it would have just been him getting to be Robin. You were good at it. Maybe Bruce saw you as a way to replace Jason. He never had any problems overcoming anything but you get in the picture and he can't even sleep at night. It all came back to you and now you're standing in front of him taking the blame.

"So, you are with him then, right?" Jason asks and Dick can feel Jason's grip starting to loosen. "You're just like him. You got a suit and now you think you're another bat. Dick's right, this ends here."

"I am always with you." You urge. "But, if you wanna blame someone for the shit here, then it should be me and Bruce, not Dick. So, let him go. You know I won't miss."

"So, try it." Jason threatens, he knows you won't. You would never throw a knife directly at him in case you do miss or he moves or you hit Dick. You wouldn't take the risk with them involved.

"Gotham PD! Drop your weapons!" You all hear from a helicopter above you.

The three of you look up to a spotlight on them. Dick takes the opportunity to grab Jason's arm, the gun firing as Dick grabs him. The gun fires directly at you but luckily, it misses as you dodge it just in time thanks to throbbing in the front of your head. The boys don't notice as they continue their fight and at this point, you're fed up with the two of them. 

"You almost shot me!" You yell and for a second, the two of them freeze, looking at you. "I've had it with you two idiots." You lunge forward and join the fight with the two of them.

The three of you end up fighting each other, you unsure of whose side you're on now. Dick pulled his arm so the gun would aim at you and Jason managed to pull the trigger in the struggle. It's ridiculous but as you all fight each other, a shot goes off from above you and it comes down right in the middle of the chaos, sending Dick off to the left and you and Jason off to the right.

Jason is the first to his feet and he sees you struggling to breathe after having the wind knocked out of you. Despite it all, that voice that tells him to side with you, is louder than usual. Something about seeing you possibly hurt sends his head into a static panic. So, grabs you and starts pulling you into the woods and away from Dick. You groan and you can see Dick still on the ground. If he's not on his feet now but Jason is, you're starting to think he was the one shot in this mess. This whole thing went to shit real fucking quick.

"Let go of me!" You yell, wiggling out of his grasp.

Jason takes a step back, putting his hands up and away from you. "Are you okay?" Jason asks as he takes his helmet off.

You spin around on your butt, eyes wide in disbelief. "Seriously!?" You get to your feet and rip off your mask. "No! I'm not okay! You two almost shot me. You killed Hank. This shit sucks! You're trying to kill Dick and you're thinking I'm turning on you, for fucks sake. What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not everyone else!?"

It's wearing off, he can feel it off. The guilt is washing over him slowly and he hates this feeling. The withdrawal is starting to kick in and he wants to start ripping his hair out. Everything starts to hurt, slowly and steadily.

"Get out of here then." Jason turns around to walk away.

You run up behind him and grab him. He doesn't get to off so easily this time. "Get the fuck off of that drug for one fucking day and tell me Crane is on your damn side. I'm sick of this shit, Jason."

"So, stop following me." Jason turns to face you. 

"Come home." You grit your teeth and you know it's a waste of breath but you try anyway. After talking with Crane and seeing how easy it is to manipulate people, you're more afraid for him than you were before.

"I can't!" Panic seeps into his voice and he hates the way it sounds.

"Bullshit! Yes, you can!" Your voice starts to tremble as your nose scrunches.

He can't. He doesn't belong there. It was never home. They don't want him there. They don't get it. No one believes in him and they don't care about him. Crane has shown that he does. Crane has to be right about them. Jason can't afford for Crane to be wrong. He can't just go home. It doesn't work like that.

"No! Get out of here before Crane finds us! Go!"

The wording catches you off guard. He is worried what Crane will think if you're together. Crane said Jason hasn't mentioned you once and you didn't think too much of it, assuming it was because Jason just had his sight set on whatever the hell Crane wanted him to do. But, maybe Jason just left your name out of it the same way you just did. To protect each other. You need to find a way to work with that. Jason knows, deep down, something is off and you have to get through to that part of him but you don't know how. For the first time since meeting him, you don't know what will work with him.

"Jay," You plead with him. "He's not on your side. He is using you! Just like Bruce did. Please, come with me." You reach for his hand but Jason pulls it away. "Please."

He shakes his head. It's not worn off nearly enough for that to work. It has worn enough though for him to feel for you. "I'm sorry." Jason puts his free hand on your shoulder, searching your face but all he sees is the water brimming in your eyes. "I'm sorry I almost shot you. But, go. Get out of here." His voice is stern but there's a slight quiver to his words.

You shake your head softly as your heart breaks and you wonder how much more your heart can take before it finally just gives up. "Watch your back, Jay." You state softly, lacking any and all venom that should come with those words. "With Crane. I got the Titans, okay? If you have ever trusted me at all, watch your back, please."

"What do you mean you have the Titans?" Jason asks, his brows furrowing as he drops his hand.

"I got them covered, don't worry about them. Worry about Crane." You nod your head softly as you place your hand on his cheek. "Seriously, Jay, be careful." You nod once before you slide your hand from his face and turn around, making your way through the trees and back to where Dick was.

Jason watches you leave and he can't help but wonder what the hell you mean by watching himself with Crane. Of course, he knows you don't trust him. You wouldn't trust anyone like Crane, it's one of the reasons Jason never looped you in before he died. But, this feels different and he doesn't know why. Crane wouldn't tell you anything but you seem genuinely worried and maybe Jason should be questioning Crane a little more. He hasn't told Jason the entire plan yet anyway.

You get back to the clearing but Dick is nowhere to be found. You let out a sigh of relief figuring Dick must be okay if he's not here. So, you start your walk back to the cabin. When you get back, you find Dick standing in the doorway, holding his shoulder.

"You okay?" You ask from behind him.

Dick turns around quickly and for a second, he was worried they took you. You're the one who says you have a habit of being kidnapped. It was that or maybe you did side with them in the end. But, here you are looking absolutely defeated.

"Yeah, you?"

"You're bleeding." You state as you point to the blood leaking around his hand holding his shoulder.

"It's nothing. Are you okay?" Dick questions again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You two morons missed me." You quip back as you roll your eyes. "You got shot though so that's a problem."

"It's fine." Dick states and suddenly you know where Jason gets it from. They aren't even blood-related and it's always 'it's fine' and 'I'm fine'. "Crane is gone so we need to get back."

"Good luck explaining that to Babs." You suck in a breath, pushing past Dick to grab your things from the cabin. "Sorry." You offer a yikes look based on the scowl you're receiving from Dick.

"Come on, let's go." Dick nods his head towards the door before the two of you head back to the car to get back to the manor.

As you head back to the manor, you're stuck hoping against everything in you that tonight was enough for Jason. It has to be enough to convince him. It has to.

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A/n: There's more Jason in the next chapter and in the rest of the chapters lol I am going into season 4. I have a plan lol We also do circle back to the whole fight between him and the reader later!!

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @urmomsgayforme5

[talkfantasytome]

First Day

The start of Emerie's first full day is easy enough, excluding her anxiety.

Warnings: None | Word Count: 764 | Read on AO3

Previous Part | To Protect a Princess Masterlist

a/n: I won't be updating this fic regularly, as I'm not really writing regularly at the moment (😭), but I wanted to do something here for @emerieweek2022! Which is also why I don't feel bad this is focused solely on Emerie. XD It is a bit short, but I just had to contribute and appreciate our girl!

Emerie barely slept.

She'd like to say it was because she was in a new and unfamiliar bedroom, but that had never stopped her before.

The bedroom she was provided at the palace was far grander than anything she'd ever slept in before. The bed itself as soft as she always imagined a fluffy, white cloud would be. But still sleep eluded her.

Her first day as Princess Cresseida's guard had been fine. Uneventful, really, other than that first meeting. It was a day spent lounging for the princess, and all Emerie needed to do was stand there and stay on alert. As simple a day as she'd likely ever get.

And that's what was eating at her. It could only get worse.

The men working for her seemed decent and competent enough, willing to listen to and obey her orders about how they keep the princess safe. While Emerie was Cresseida's main guard, Emerie commanded a few others to keep watch while Emerie was sleeping, or to help out when going to larger events.

Yet Emerie couldn't stop imagining Cresseida's scream echoing through the hall, picturing scenario after scenario where she popped up and ran into the princess' room, only to find out she was too late.

It was eating her alive, the consequences of this job. Of what could happen if she failed.

Morning came too quickly, and yet not soon enough. By five o'clock Emerie was dressed in her leathers with her quiver full, her long knives and bow in their holders behind her back.

"You're early," Balthazar, one of the guards on the princess' detail, said as he saw Emerie walk up to them. "The princess rarely stirs before ten in the morning. Her previous guard usually didn't get her until nine."

Emerie laughed softly and asked, "And what else am I supposed to do for four hours? I typically wake up no later than five. Six is sleeping in for me."

"I'm sure that'll change, with the late nights you'll be adding to your schedule." Balthazar gave her a toothy grin. "I'll let the cook know your breakfast should be served earlier."

"Won't I just be eating with all the other guards?"

Both Balthazar and the other one, Dominic, chuckled. "Not if you want to keep this job," Dominic added. "You can't be away from the princess for so long. Your breakfast is brought to you."

Emerie nodded in understanding, though couldn't hide the shock. "I've never had breakfast served to me like that."

"Welcome to your new life." Balthazar patted her on the shoulder in a comforting manner. "For today, I believe they're used to a schedule of breakfast served to you at eight. Can you wait?"

"Yeah, no problem. I can relieve one of you, if you'd like."

"Nah," Balthazar sighed, shaking his head. "Go get a bit more sleep. You might need it for today, the princess wants to go to the festival in town."

"Great," Emerie breathed. She gave them each a wave and walked back into her room, taking off her weapons and plopping down on the bed. She wouldn't be able to sleep, but she could finally start that book Nesta lent her.

Three hours later, Emerie was fully invested in the new romance, and found herself jumping out of her skin at the sound of a knock at the door.

She ate her breakfast - quite possibly the best she'd ever had - read a couple more chapters, and then went to relieve Balthazar and Dominic around nine. They'd need to figure out a new schedule, but she could wait a few days to see what would work best.

It was closer to eleven when Cresseida's servants were called and entered the room to prepare the princess for the day.

Emerie's restlessness heightened, her feet tapping on the floor in a quick rhythm. Nesta had come by and given Emerie Cresseida's schedule for the day. The afternoon would be spent at the festival and then a dinner with some of the nobility of Adriata.

"And remember, this dinner is important to the queen, so Cresseida must be completely presentable," Nesta had explained. "The princess likes to…enjoy herself. Keep an eye on her goblets, don't let her drink too much at the festival. She can indulge after the dinner."

It was a simple enough order. Easy to agree to. Nothing felt real while Emerie was just guarding the door and Cresseida was still sleeping.

Now that she was awake, and the day was about to start, it was. And Emerie wasn't sure she was ready.

@a-court-of-milkandhoney @boredserpent @live-the-fangirl-life @nesquik-arccheron @sayosdreams @moodymelanist @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens

[azurelyy]

Current Request List Updates

Hello, lovely people~

Just wanted to pop on to give a quick update on current requests/WIPs since I have had quite a few come through the last few days. I have been hit with a bit of a bug and am not feeling the greatest, so the requests below might take awhile to complete since weekends are the days I am typically able to get the most work done. 😭

Hoping I get over this soon so I can get to work on these for you beautiful souls!

Request List (First Come, First Serve):

Jirayia x f!reader (Not started, has idea. Will involve female masturbation. If you’re the anon who requested this and this makes you uncomfortable plz let me know!)

Yamato x f!reader (Not started, has idea. Will involve Yamato being an adorable cinnamon roll/slightly awkward but cute smut before he gets more comfortable. If you are the anon who requested this and you want something different, let me know!)

ShikaIno Teacher/Student Request (Not started)

Current WIP Progress:

Blossoming Hurricane (Chapter 8 started, 500 words)

Blue Shadows (Chapter 3 started, 1.5k words.)

Requests are still open! If you would like to request something, please make sure to visit my rules first. Writing makes me foam at the mouth and go feral, so expect all requests to be 2k+ words. This means that I might take awhile to get to you.

For a complete list of all my works, visit my masterlist.