#i might look on specifically r/ftmfitness for some further advice because i feel like thats a good place for my specific goals

[boot-prints]

I'm starting to have more and more problems with hating how I look but in a new and fun direction where I absolutely hate that I look flimsy. Like, I don't want to be slender or willowy I want to be visibly a small unit. I want to be fuckin solid.

The issue is the constant thrumming dissatisfaction with how I look is reminding how it felt when I was flirting with an eating disorder as a teen. I know building strength and muscle is a healthy goal to have, and to an extent I think I can trust myself to adjust my diet to meet that goal, I just need to be watchful of it not being something I measure my value against.