#i might have to make a longpost at some point lol they got me in my feels

[sea-buns]

The new twenty one pilots album has me revisiting my love for the band and the themes throughout are really lining up with where I am in my own life atm. Viewing the passage of time through the lens of a band that you've listened to from such a young age and seeing how you've grown and changed alongside their library and I'm. I'm in shambles.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i think probably the core issue of lorien legacies, beyond anything to do with individual characters, is the mixed metaphors.

more specifically, about politics.

[longpost after the cut; a lot of talk about racism, xenophobia, fascism--including ecofascism--genocide, and all of the above being poorly handled. also some deeply upsetting anti-indigenous awfulness wrt the w-word.]

the writers try to make the series Heavy-Hitting and Deep and Socially Conscious by addressing real-world political issues like racism, fascism, religious fundamentalism, dictatorship, colonialism, genocide, and so on... and instead of trying to build it into a coherent dynamic with any kind of real statement about any of it, they just blindly grab at every political issue they can find and slap it together into a jumbled mess.

they don't actually understand any of the things they're talking about. and the most disturbing part is that they don't even limit themselves to drawing on bad neoliberal takes, and/or captain-obvious shit like 'genocide bad.' they ALSO draw on the politics of fascists and racists--sometimes unironically, sometimes putting it in the mouths of random protagonists without reason after establishing that it's supposed to be a bad thing, sometimes doing shit that strawmans itself into confirming the Bad Guy Fascism and what have you--and often they mix those metaphors in ways that are anywhere from bizarre to horrific.

('ya so the great replacement theory was completely right actually! the people you're genociding a hundred percent have dedicated their entire life, purpose, and remaining culture to exterminating yours. it doesn't matter if their survivors are down to the single digits, if you fail to kill even a single one of them they WILL successfully wipe you out. they will literally have your last few survivors rounded up and put into prison camps. three cheers for them!' jesus fucking christ.)

(don't get me started on shit like tossing blatant racist caricatures of north korea and its political issues into the mogadorians at some point, because why the fuck not, and then piling on the anti-japanese racism with a dump truck at the end of the first series and throughout the second. internment camps.)

(jesus fucking christ.)

and like. people don't react to this shit the way they realistically would. you cannot tell me that not a single one of the majority-POC cast in the second series would not rip a black hole into nine's irl-racist and scifi-MAGA, white-man-in-a-position-of-authority ass, or the shit that john's white-man-in-a-position-of-authority ass brings about himself under the guise of ~kindness and peace.~

and there's no logic to the kind of shit people will say and do about this stuff, especially in the sequel series. sometimes they'll express, like, basic antifascist/anti-racist/humanitarian/decent-in-general beliefs, and other times the most absolutely wild shit will come out of their mouths which either directly contradicts things they've said before--and might say after--or pulls from other blatant parts of that same horrific ideology. there is no rhyme or reason to most of it. it's just a clown car of racist/fascist/xenophobic nonsequiturs. what the hell.

and when i say nine is irl-racist in reborn i mean he casually calls a native american child the w-word as a '''lighthearted''' punny joke about his legacy. the kid is not even from any tribe whose culture they originate from; they never specify, because of course they couldn't be bothered lol, but miki is from alaska. on top of that, they had the dick ass and balls to have him randomly throw in a Very Special Episode scene where he talks about how his family are the direct-action variety of activists who he got separated from when they blew up an oil pipeline.

and he does not fucking blink at this. he doesn't say anything about it, he doesn't uncomfortably not say anything about it, he just goes on with the friendly conversation about his legacies which nine just called him a w-word for without missing a single beat.

and the ecofascism. good unholy fucking god the ecofascism. probably the most fundamental driving force of the entire first series is that if you don't ~take care of your environment~ your entire race/ethnicity/culture deserve to suffer and die slowly in the results. yes, all of them. it doesn't matter who was responsible. every last one. including the masses we see protesting on mogadore in flashbacks/visions.

also did i mention the Great Fascist Cult Leader who is responsible for the loric's genocide is a race traitor who took charge of wiping out his own? because that is a thing. it's a thing.

like. man i could go on. i could go on. and in other posts i probably will, because WOW is there a lot to unpack here. but it really does all come down to the fact that the writers wanted to sound meaningful and important and socially conscious, because that's what seems to be hip with the youth nowadays, and they don't have anything to say.

it's just gibberish. gibberish that arranges in some very telling ways as to the beliefs of their own that they are putting into the books. but gibberish.

and it pisses me off in a different way to have realized this, but god damn does it make it less tear-my-hair-out distressing than racking my brain trying to figure out what in the goddamn fuck am i looking at here.

(capitalism. capitalism is what i'm looking at here. and also racism, antisemitism, xenophobia, and just plain being fuckin stupid.)

lord.

[disabled-bnha-abandoned-blog]

Sorry for being so inactive for the past month!!

i really have been wanting to post but i'm dealing with a toxic home environment as well as getting into inpatient care in january so things have been kind of a mess.

I get that i don't owe anyone an explanation or an apology (and that im talking about some pretty personal stuff on here lol) but i really appreciate you people for being so supportive and liking the random shit that i spew out of my ass.

i really plan on posting more but im in an ~~interesting~~ place mentally and physically with really nothing to help cope with that other than venting my ass off on tumblr.

in a way i think tumblr has helped me get out of my self isolation shell and make new friends (irl and online)

I also know that this account has been so beneficial for me. I really only started it because i was diagnosed with a bunch of stuff in a really short amount of time and i didn't know how to deal with it so i just randomly searched "autistic bnha" and "adhd bnha" and "ocd bnha" etc. etc. and the posts made me so happy!

After an hour of scrolling the posts stopped and i decided that i really wanted to post again (bc prior to this i didnt post bc i was afraid of being termed again)

i really didnt expect people to like what i was doing so i was very surprised when i got encouragement from other people and a lot of agreements and cool conversations with people started happening and it really got me through a tough time.

admittedly i've gotten ~~worse~~ but that was from irl mostly. But this still makes me feel a lot better

ok now you might be wondering "what is the point to this random longpost?"

my point is: i assume i will be posting less and less until i get out of the situation im in. its sad to admit and I WILL KEEP POSTING but it'll most likely be at ungodly hours of the day.

on another note: tanjirou

thank you :)

[moved-to--farmer-pia]

Hii it’s nice to meet you! Do you think you could write an exchange between Shane and Gus at the saloon? Shane hangs there so much, so I can see them being friends, or acquaintances at least 🥺

ok so i dont imagine you wanted 800 words but i got a little carried away bc i love shane AND gus lol.... i definitely think gus really tries to look out for shane. Since shane says he never had much family growing up id like to think gus could be a sort of older brother/father figure... anyway here u go!! i hope you like it friend! thank you so much for sending me an ask!

read more bc longpost

Just as it was every night, the Stardrop Saloon was full of life this friday. The crackling of the fireplace mingled with the jaunty music coming from the jukebox, and the whole room was drenched in golden light. Easy conversation and quiet laughter floated lazily through the warm summer air. The entire room seemed to be filled with an aura of calm and happiness… except for one particular barstool. 

Shane swirled his glass, watching the foam atop his beer shift back and forth. It was almost empty. He looked up to wave for another round, but Gus was already there to take his mug and refill it. Shane nodded in acknowledgement and thanks as Gus set it back down on the bar. 

“What’s on your mind tonight, eh Buddy?” Gus smiled, drying his hands on a towel and crossing his arms as he awaited an answer.

Shane rolled his eyes and took a swig of his drink. “Nothing I feel like talking about,” he mumbled.

There was a knowing smile on Gus’s face- tinged with sympathy and sadness. “How’s Miss Jas?“ he attempted.

Shane cringed. A wave of feelings rushed over him that sent him back in for another sip. He used to know how Jas was… He was with her all the time when she was a baby- when her real parents were still around to do all the actual parenting. But as circumstances changed and they both got older it felt more and more impossible to connect with her. He didn’t know anything about how to be a dad. Even if he did have the time or energy on his days off from work to hang out with her, he had absolutely no idea what they could possibly do together at this point. What did girl children do? Jas had lots of dolls, and he saw her jumping rope some days… sometimes she and Marnie played ‘tea party’... If Jas had been a boy, then maybe then they could go fishing or throw the gridball around, But he couldn’t imagine any little girl wanting to play dress up with her gross older cousin just because 8 years ago someone put his name on a piece of paper saying “godfather.” 

“You should ask Marnie,” he said after a long moment.

Gus nodded. He looked at Shane. Then he leaned down, his elbows on the bar, and said quietly, “You’re doing a good job, Shane. You know that. Jas loves you-”

He was interrupted by a bitter laugh from Shane. “Yeah, sure. And a big man in the sky named Yoba makes all our choices for us too.”

Gus overlooked the latter part of Shane’s statement, as he was used to Shane’s flagrant disrespect of religion. “I mean it,” he pressed, “She tells me whenever I go to pick up eggs or milk from your Aunt that she wishes you were around more. She’s just a kid, Shane; none of the things you’re so insecure about matter to her. She just wants her father figure around.” 

He waited with bated breath for Shane’s response. He feared he might have been overstepping, but He’d seen Shane nearly every night for years. He knew more of Shane’s secrets and fears than Shane probably even remembered telling him. He knew Shane like family, and he knew Marnie and Jas just as well. He knew that if Shane was ever able to get out of his own head, things would start working themselves out because Shane was kind and smart and capable.

But things weren’t that easy, and currently Shane was staring daggers at Gus. Gus swallowed nervously with a sheepish grin. 

“No. Jas doesn’t know what’s best for her. I’d be a terrible influence if I was around more.” The disdain Shane felt for himself in that moment could likely be heard all the way from Zuzu City.

There was a long silence then. The jukebox still played- now Robin and Demetrius were there, dancing carefree. Shane clutched his drink and stared tensely into empty space while Gus looked sadly at him. He didn’t like being put under a microscope this way. He was about to stand up and leave when, once again, Gus anticipated his move and put a hand on his arm to stop him.

“Marnie believes in you, Shane. So do I.” He faltered for a moment before continuing, “So did Jas’ parents. And before you say anything, I know that they wouldn’t regret their choice one bit if they saw you all today. You’re a good guy, Shane. And Jas is lucky to have you.”

Shane didn’t know what to say. He just stared in shock at Gus before hurrying out of the Saloon.

The next day Gus spotted Shane teaching Jas to skip rocks on Cindersap Pond. 

٩(*•͈ ꇴ •͈*)و ̑̑❀ thank you for reading!!

[maxladcomics]

If you have time to, could you explain how you go about planning/making your comics? Other than drawing them, I mean. Like, how do you plan out what happens in a page, how do you go about scripting it, that kinda thing.

WELL- (This is gonna be a long post, so block the tag #longpost or #Maxramble if it’s too much!) 

I unfortunately keep most stuff in my head- but I’ll explain some small things that might help out!

I keep the base of every character set down, so I understand how that character behaves, and when I already know their backstory and how they react/behave to other characters, it makes their actions easier to put in a scene rather than plan out properly. Instead of asking myself “Hmmm how would they react to this-” I can trace back to those details I already know, and help myself realize how they would respond.

For instance- the comic I have in the works right now is much easier than the other ones I’m not working on >3>.. because it has Fell and Fell Undyne, who I’ve drawn a lot and grown attached to and they’ve got a lot of history with each other and they interact in fun ways. I haven’t done that much of Swapfell Papyrus, and Underfell Alphys. While I definitely relate to these two- it’s REALLY hard to figure out their ‘base’, especially since Alphys’s Past comic starts with how hers will be built, and show what she grows into and why- IT’S SO COMPLICATED AND I NEED TO LOWER MY STANDARDS SO I CAN JUST DRAW IT AND GET IT OVER WITH.

Anyway, that was a bunch of rambling.

So yeah, first: Character basics. Then I move onto the plot. 

I have a vague setup for the comic I work with, and while I wish I could put more details in, it seems like this is how I like to work and there just isn’t any way to fix it lol.

Also before these spoilers are notes of what the babybones behaviors are like- they’ll help me understand how the babies act and get an idea of how Fell can respond to them throughout the comic. This is normally what I have noted down when I bring any new character into a comic, so I can understand how they’ll act first, and how my characters can respond/behave around them.

These notes I’m showing, will be the first scene I’m working towards, so from point A (the start of the comic), and the goal is point B, here: (spoilers ahead! But vague spoilers, it doesn’t even spoil the first page)

(Thank you Anon Paps for the ideas!)I mean there’s not much, so I need preferably a point C which is here:

and other than that, the rest is in my head, but I can summarize it fairly simply. With Undyne’s help Fell decides to take care of the babybones (UT Paps asks him earlier in the comic to take care of them but the kids make everything difficult for him so he needed to talk to someone), suddenly ghost, things get a bit easier and something happens with Levee to make him a lot more tolerable. 

There was an idea of Fell protecting the kids after something, but I can’t remember it, I might bring that in if I figure it out lol. But yeah the comic will mostly be meant for cute/funny stuff and to encourage myself to draw more, which is how I’ll plot out the inbetween’s for each point. I also have a vague ending planned but that’s a secret :D…. and not noted down *quickly scribbles it down*

ANYWAY TO THE SCRIPT.

So while Paint Tool SAI version 2 has a text feature- I usually write out my scripts on Open Office Writer (Basically microsoft word, but free) and try to keep it to AT MOST, one A4 page. This depends on what’s happening in the page and how much talking is going on. In the past I’ve had to cut pages into two because there’s too much text.

Script for page 2: (Might not be full script, there’s more to this but it might not fit on one page AND I KEEP FORGETTING A BIT OF IT)

(Out of context script is hilarious omg)

Obviously not shown: There’s a panel break (Silent panel) between a point in this script so far. After Fell says he’s going to call someone else, it’ll show Undyne looking extra confused, then Fell calling another number. 

So with my script I have a basic idea of what’s going to happen (or in the case of funny comics, usually a punchline to work up to) and build the page in my head as I script. If it doesn’t work then I do have to redo the script or even cut out scenes I like because they wont work. It happened a lot in the Drinking comic.

I guess the easiest way I can explain it is, the Point A, B, C and finale are the important points that HAVE to happen, and I consider every scene between that a mini point I can reach, but I don’t have to and it’s ok to cut them as long as they don’t mess with the main points. (…Although they can. All the shenanigans between Short Fell and Fell changed a lot of the other plot points I had, honestly most plot points are changeable, but I usually pretend they’re fixed so I have an idea of where I need to go. WHAT REALLY MATTERS IS THE START AND FINALE OK-)

It makes it much easier since Papyruses and Undyne’s are so.. enthusiastic, that they’ll usually do something without needing a prompt. I love characters like these.

Anyway, onto the drawing of the page: I don’t have any extensively rough scribbles to show, but I usually try to consider who’s in the scene (and if I have to, turn the perspective a certain way so I don’t have to keep drawing 3-4 characters every panel) and how they respond to whatever they’re given. If they’re in a relaxed scenario (like the Drink comic) then how do they respond? Which characters do they naturally gravitate to?  

I usually plan this stuff during scripting of course but anyway-

I’ve been drawing larger panels lately (Inspired by UnderlineAU) and usually draw smaller ones when the scene calls for it, like a silent reaction, or something happening in the background. As usual- I think that showing the character from the waist up is a good place to start so you can show body language and how they react without saying anything. Do they close off when someone comes near them but try to act friendly- or are they genuinely friendly? ALL FUN STUFF TO FIGURE OUT. 

Anyway, I try not to end the pages on something that’s too..??? That feels too much like an ending, I want people to continue reading, or know that there’s another page. Obviously I don’t cut a joke short and end it on the next page, but what I mean is.. with, say if all the characters said goodbye to each other at the end of one page and it seemed like an ending, then suddenly they’re talking again in the next page- it’d be weird xD.

I think I did something similar to that in the babybones comic? I vaguely recall them saying goodbye, and then having one or two panels to have them talking about the next place, so readers knew there was more. So that’s the kind of thing I mean

…..WOW THAT WAS A LOT.

I’m not sure if I have any more to say lol, but I hope this helps??

[i-want-my-iwtv]

My mom got me into The Vampire Chronicles a couple months back, and now I’m looking for the fandom. Why is the fandom so small? Why is there so little fanfiction? I often have to write fanfiction that I want to read. (Which is fine by me, it’s just I’m not that good at writing.)

Hey, welcome to our little corner of tumblrland! Share your fanfic with us, step out into the light, Anon! I’m often critical of my own writing, and I often have a beta reader, a dear friend who gives me constructive criticism and even rewrites lines if I ask her to do so, like an editor, a beta can offer a huge improvement on one’s writing. Maybe you’d like to find a beta reader? 

-PREAMBLE SORRY BUT I MUST- and no TL;DR for it-

Sometimes when ppl ask those questions, Why is the fandom so small and Where is the fanfic b/c I can’t find it, it’s argument bait, I’m sorry to say. 

But I’m taking it at face value that you are somewhat or totally unaware of our history, that your mom might not know, and that you are not putting out bait for argument. I’ll try to give you a synopsis in good faith, and hope that other ppl see this post as such. I’m not interested in taking sides, reopening those old wounds for the millionth time. I think of us as the bastard children of fandom, beaten in to a corner by a formerly abusive parent, and we are survivors of that. As such, I would hope that we could offer each other even more compassion than other fans in other fandoms. It doesn’t always work that way. Things can be misread and emotions misinterpreted; this is a text-based communication so we are cheated of facial and verbal cues, it is far too easy to misread intention.

What draws ppl to VC? From what I’ve learned over the years, a lot of us felt marginalized in one way or another and we related to something in VC, we drew strength from it as we were struggling with something in real life. It helped at a time that we needed it. It might still help us. Some ppl just like the purple prose! For real! 

Whatever the case, and however you choose to engage with canon or fandom, no one’s relationship to the books or characters supersedes anyone else’s. Not mine, not yours, Anon. We all have our own personal relationship with it. I hesitate to use the word “valid,” bc no one needs “validation” to love a book series or character(s). No one can be “invalidated” for loving a book series or character(s). 

I was in fandom before the internet, and even tho, as I’ll mention below, it was with only one other flesh-and-blood friend, we had our own 2-person fandom! We liked what we liked. We didn’t agree on everything, we still don’t, but it was always civil, and any argument was always based on curiosity and trying to gain a better understanding from each other. It was never about this public display we have now on tumblr and other social networking sites of idk, “My 10K notes means my opinion supercedes yours!”? I don’t subscribe… Unless those 10K notes are turning into dollars, then we’ll revisit it, lol. 

What even is the point of my blog? It’s for entertainment, my own experience, a collection of other ppl’s experience, and fanworks. When ppl say that I exert all this influence on an army of ppl, I am, in actuality, preaching to a big pile of cats, that’s how it feels. I serve catnip to cats. That’s the intention, anyway.They don’t even Like some of it, I’ll get like 5 notes on this post, lol. I have no need to be Right. I have no need to be anything other than a brief reprieve from how insane Real Life is and can be.

Fandom isn’t a contest. No one is keeping score. No one even knows your follower count unless you tell ppl (and I wouldn’t, bc even if you only have 10 more followers than smne else, it generally leads to envy). 

TL;DR for the below info: The fandom was small, but it’s growing now, and there is fanfic, try here on tumblr, and try Archiveofourown.org (AO3). Fandom, however, like Real Life, takes your own work to make what you can of it. 

FRICKIN’ WALL OF TEXT™ NO CUTS WE LONGPOST LIKE MEN

A) The fandom is was small bc:

^Gawds this is gonna be me on the outside eventually, it’s me on the inside sometimes lol.

It’s an old fandom, over 40 years old! IWTV, the first book in the series, was published in 1976.

Back then, fandom was just the ppl you could gather together, physical mailing lists, idk. It progressed to zines, probably, like other fandoms, but you had to know who was making them. I wasn’t born yet so I don’t know!

As the internet was born, ppl began to find each other on webrings, but even then, it was hard, bc Anne Rice did not approve of fanfic. So you had to know where to look or be lucky enough to stumble upon it.

By the early 90′s when I came into VC, there were some fic sites like Rotoli dela Lune (IIRC?) but AR waged a #war on fanfic, sending threatening cease & desist letters to writers, and that made everything EVEN HARDER to find. 

There were official VC graphic novels for a few of the first books and they are hilarious and cringey. Here’s Louis feeding on Daniel jeez… Looks like he wants a lick of the trachea first?

Of course, the IWTV movie in 1994 (in development hell for nearly 20 years) did bring in a wave of new fandom ppl, but they really only found whoever they physically met bc of the movie, and the VC books that were out at the time. Meeting in the audience at the movie? Or in bookstores in the Fantasy/Horror section under R, maybe? Probably?

[X] And TBH the movie got backlash bc it was reviewed as being too gay to some, and as not gay enough, but overall, it did well financially and is still considered smtg of a cult classic bc they drag it out and show it on TV leading up to Halloween or whenever Tom and Brad have new movies out ;D (one near-to-Halloween weekend I watched it 4 times, and that was too many, even for me).

Which was my situation, I had my one VC friend, we met in middle school bc I saw her reading QOTD on the bus, I pestered her that morning, and she had to tolerate almost 20 years of my fannish behavior ever since, all directed at her like a fire hydrant, and then she forced me to start a Tumblr and here we are.

*ahem* 

We had another small influx of fans with movie!QOTD in 2002, but as the story was barely tethered to canon, and for a number of other reasons, idk if it was the blockbuster ppl had hoped it would be. STILL, there are fandom ppl who find it nostalgic, or love it and embrace it even admitting its canon non-compliance. So I try not to trample it too hard, but trampling it hard was once encouraged! anyway… suffice it to say, someone(s) has to watch it with me and mock it to help me through it, lol.

In 2012, we got a graphic novel of Claudia’s POV during IWTV called Claudia’s Story. You can find it on Amazon.

B) The fanfic IS out there.

CURRENTLY, the fandom is experiencing a revival, we liiiiive!

with the recently published books and AR no longer fights the fanfic writers! Woo!

AR has a FB page and an official VC FB page, where she communicates with her People of the Page and whoever else comments on her posts.

There’s also a thriving community of ppl here on tumblr, who make fanart, write fic, do podcasts, write meta, cosplay, etc. Dig around in my archive and you’ll find them. We just did a @vcsecretgifts exchange and there’s fanfic in there.

Another great place to find fanfic is archiveofourown.org (AO3). You can set up an account and post your fanfic there, and I bet you’ll find readers who want what you have to offer!

There’s also fanfiction.net, and wattpad, but I don’t know those sites very well.

^^^All this taken into account, the thing is, anon, fandom is not an open door. 

Fandom is not a ballroom with everyone listing their url name down and committing to staying or even having civility, we can’t make a VC RP directory bc inevitably ppl aren’t invited for whatever reason, and feel left out, or they move on to another fandom anyway. It’s not everyone extending their dance-cards for you to sign your blog url for a dance with EVERYONE. We have had arguments and in-fighting, call-out posts, cliques… there are heated posts about certain characters or ships still getting reblogged with their 10K+ notes and an implication that if you “like” those certain characters or ships, that you’re contributing to real world harm. 

Fiction’s affect on reality is a debate that’s started before the internet and will go on as long as we are capable of communicating. Societies have waves of being more or less pure, like a pendulum. That’s not the focus of my blog. 

All debates aside, fandom is what you make it, it’s not guaranteed easy friendship. I once thought it was, but I learned the hard way that it’s very much like real life. You have to do the work of finding and reaching out to those ppl who you find a spark of connection with, and actively nurture that spark. On a public site, you have to extend yourself and show some opinions and thoughts, gush about what you love, reblog from ppl who you relate to, and gradually build your own network of friends. Nothing is handed to you. No one will crowd into your inbox bc your url sounds cool (well, maybe a few urls get attention bc of that!)(there is an exception to every rule).

So whenever I say “Welcome to our little corner of tumblrland!” I mean it, I do welcome all, and I hope that I’m going to see you flourish as you make your way into the space. Are you a new fanartist, or writer, or someone who’s supportive even if they don’t have the skills to create fanwork of their own? A combination? Show us, and reach out, and if we’re compatible, we’ll reach back.