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kumasakka · 2 months ago

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idk if you guys are accepting rqs but ive been following since yall started so might as well shoot my shot 😹🤫

i am in desperate need of sugishita (windbre) x reader so may i request general dating hcs for a sugi x gn!reader who comes off as standoffish/cold but is really chatty when getting to know them??

THE PERSONALITY IS SELF INDULGENT BUT LIFES TOO SHORT and i wanna keep it vague sorry im rambling im nervous but thank you if you do!!! 💖💖

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ❝ 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐃 ! ❞

⋆.˚ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. s.kyotaro x reader .

⋆.˚ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. general dating headcanon with our underrated favorite character, sugishita kyotaro <3 boy deserves much more love guys .

⋆.˚ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. ~0.99k . IT'S A LOT .

⋆.˚ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. fluff. lots of fluff I think. gn!reader. It's my first time writing headcanons and gender neutral reader ( gender doesn't get mentioned though ). but I tried my best, anon. expect to be a little disappointed. still hoping you'll enjoy this though !! spoiler - free. <3

　୨୧ How did you two meet? Well, good question.

　୨୧ But I imagine you both definitely met through Umemiya. Like there aren't any reasons why you two should talk to each other. You're a student from another high school of course, not in Furin like Sugishita and Umemiya is. How you met umemiya is a different story.

　୨୧ Umemiya needs to do a lot so the two of you can get more comfortable with each other as if he was the bridge between two quiet cities, he does it unconsciously although. If he wasn't there, you'd probably stare at each other before returning to your own matters. You seemed like a cold person in Sugishita's eyes and Sugishita seemed like he would easily burst when not around Umemiya.

　୨୧ At first you thought he was rather hostile towards you, not really fond with the idea of someone other next to Umemiya, someone who's not even from Furin. And whenever he parted his lips to tell to you something, you thought he would threaten you in some way so you'd leave his precious Umemiya alone. He of course noticed your wariness, deciding to leave you alone so you wouldn't feel more uncomfortable next to him.

　୨୧ Seems like you misunderstood his actions though, since the reason behind his actions was once again Umemiya. Only because Umemiya mentioned it would be nice if you two understood each other. Yeah now you felt bad.

　୨୧ After learning this fact, you decided you should take the first step and apologizing for the misunderstanding. Sugishita accepted and took the opportunity to get to know you better.

　୨୧ To be honest, the first few interactions were quite awkward as you both watered Umemiya's plants, not knowing how to start a conversation or have a small talk. And damn, small talks are weird—weird awkward. But after some time, you got more and more comfortable, starting to converse with him about random things and enjoying to yap about the last few days.

　୨୧ Sugishita remains quiet while listening to your rambles and even caring enough to reply your questions or suggestions. Ah, the cold persona faded and it turns out you were a real chatty person who could smile a lot around people you feel comfortable with. Even if he doesn't admit it, he feels a bit honored to be a person you can get comfortable with.

　୨୧ Yeah one day you started dating which surprised the most. You don't seem to fit each other and your personalities didn't match. Oh how wrong they were...

　୨୧ I would imagine that he takes the chance to pick you up from school from time to time while patrolling the town, also walking behind of the rest of the group so you both are alone and have your own peace, not noticing how the others always glance back to you with a curious gleam in their eyes.

　୨୧ Well, you either hang out on the rooftop of Furin, at yours or walk through the town. I promise you, even if you both walk pass a street hundreds of times, you both just don't care, still enjoying every bit and savoring every second.

　୨୧ Surprisingly, he also spends less time with Umemiya than before, rather using his free time to spend it with you and to listen to your daily rambles. Wow Umemiya did the work of an Angel and he is proud that the relationship works out for both of you, god he's so happy for you two.

　୨୧ Except him to beat the shit out of anyone who has ill intentions towards you, who glares at you, who speaks shit about you— the list goes on and on. Don't be surprised if he goes away for a sec, just to return with some bruises ( if that person managed to land a hit on him, that is ).

　୨୧ Loves, loves, loves, LOVES when you patch him up after a fight and when you fuss about him. It just shows how much you care about him. And he is silently savoring every second of it, also using this to get your affections and comfort. He is not a baby. But he secretly is ( only a bit though ). If you tell someone about this side of his other than Umemiya, expect him to be not fond of getting patched up by you anymore ( he still loves it ). He's just a bit sad that you "betrayed" him. It was supposed to his peace between you two. So please don't tell anyone. Please.

　୨୧ Imagine you get hurt infront of him. Yeah now the hell breaks out and his inner demon is showing. The dude who hurt you probably sleeps in the hospital for some weeks.

　୨୧ He would inwardly blame himself for getting you into his shit while staying by your side the whole time. If the accident was really bad that you're also in the hospital, he would ask Umemiya to skip school so he can stay beside you and Umemiya, knowing the kind of guy he is, allowed him to. At this point, he would quietly follow you everywhere around, making other patients wonder. If you need to pee, he would stand infront of the door of course.

　୨୧ Sugishita even spends two third of his time with you, not making the same mistake again and protects you from any danger. You know how proud he would if you can fight? You're so badass, is his only thought. Well there are a lot of other praises in his mind.

　୨୧ Girl, if you ever worry that he doesn't love you, because he doesn't show much affection, worry not. If there are times he puts you over Umemiya, be assured. And if he puts you over Umemiya all the time, you shouldn't even dare to worry. He even cares to listen to your stories and remembers what your favorite things are.

　୨୧ On your birthday, there will be a basket of your favorite things in his hand. Cause he LOVES you.

a/n's note — I HOPE HE ISN'T TOO OOC. by the way don't worry about rambling in your request <3 I'd love to listen.

#❨🎐❩ 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐀 :: shitpost.#wind breaker #wb #wind breaker x reader #wb x reader #anime #manga #sugishita kyotaro #kyotaro sugishita #sugishita x reader #x reader

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txttletale · 1 year ago

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i don’t know if you’re white or non-asian but. i do think that your take on EEAAO fundamentally misunderstands a lot of the commentary about immigrant east asian parenting and family units. it’s not a retelling of the “abusive parent” trope it’s bringing light to the specific generational trauma that asian immigrant families often experience, especially low income ones like the Wangs. talking about the “very lib model of The Family” and saying it’s “ideologically repellent” rubbed me the wrong way because it’s absolutely a story that has Never Been Told Before.

it’s fine if you didn’t like the movie. but if that was your main takeaway and you don’t see how any of the things i mentioned make it an important film, you might want to think about that.

i am not asian-american but i am latina which also means my community is full of the same normalizing / excoticizing bullshit about how our abusive parents are just Culturally Misunderstood or whatever & i simply do not buy it or care for it. & of course i have seen many asian people espouse this same perspective 'cause yknow any minority group is not a monolith.

it is also very silly to call the wangs low income when they are literally small business owners and the impetus of the film is the threat of getting tax audited. the aspirational model of the immigrant success story is absolutely deeply liberal and the film is absolutely very focused on the family as moral good and the restoration of it as prima facie correct and healing. i also personally think it drops the ball on intergenerational trauma conceptually because while evelyn goes through a whole personal journey to become a better person and stop inflicting her trauma on her husband and daughter, the old fuck who gave her that trauma doesn't go on a journey for shit and the film just gives him a pass for having done absolutely nothing

overall, like i said, i think it handles its themes better than most mainstream films (low bar), but i do not think being about asian immigrants meaningfully changes the film's politics around or relation to the concept of the family which i was critiquing.

#ask

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bnhaobservation · 4 months ago

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Changing society in BNHA

So… I came up with an odd thought about which might be the change in society we're expected to witness in BNHA, what was that Midoriya's fight with Tomura was supposed to show to society so that it would change.

There’s a scene that stick particularly in my mind in BNHA, the one of little Tenko wandering through the streets, mentally begging for someone to help him while people pretend not to see him. Finally an old lady notices him but then decides he looks creepy and tells him the police or a Hero or somebody else will help him as she’ll do better go to her job. Little Tenko keeps on walking then, and people keep on seeing and ignoring him until one person reaches out his hand to him. Sadly for Tenko said person is AFO who helps Tenko solely to turn him into Shigaraki Tomura, symbol of fear.

In my country, if an adult sees a small child of 5 wandering alone, he should feel responsible for the kid and help him. You aren’t allowed to ignore it. The result is I’ve always interpreted that scene as Horikoshi blaming society for not helping a child. If one of those people who saw Tenko, instead than ignoring him, had saved Tenko before AFO, then Tenko would have never turned into Shigaraki Tomura.

There are other instances in which Villains seem to be born by how society, instead than caring for them/helping them out, turned their back on them, which caused them to end up on perceiving society as their enemy and therefore choosing a Villain life.

As a result I was expecting at the end of the story the BNHA society would be changed into one who was more willing to help those in need and not just pass the job to the Heroes.

Even Tomura’s speech talk about how people has just got used to be protected due to the Heroes coddling them…

...the fact that, right from chap 1 as Heroes were fighting people would just stop and stare as if it were a show, and the whole All Might being a pillar so that the weight would rest on him made me think the theme was that society had to turn into a more helpful one instead than just a passive one that watches Heroes saving people.

But then I’ve been wondering if the theme hadn’t somehow shifted along the way… or maybe I just had misunderstood it.

You see… after the first war the story shows us the struggle of Heroes. Some of them, facing all that destruction, think they should change work. Midnight and other Heroes are dead, while other Heroes like Endeavor and the Class A students are hurt. The public attacks Heroes for failing to protect them. Even at Enji’s press conference they aren’t really angry with him for what he did to his family but for allowing Machia’s rampage, for failing to stop the destruction Villains caused. In short for failing as a Hero.

All Might’s statue starts to get vandalized and Uraraka wonders who’ll help Heroes when they need to be protected, before giving a speech in which she assures the public only Heroes will be coated in filth, that they won’t be asked to do the same, but asks them to just help a Hero (Midoriya) rest so he will be able to keep on fighting for the people.

Later, much later, when Midoriya is fighting Tomura, people will still try to help him, to help the Hero fight Tomura by giving Eraser Head shirts and other necessities.

So it can be that THIS IS the change watching Midoriya fight was meant to bring in the society, making it aware they should help their Heroes instead than just watching them.

In a way that’s also what Spinner blames himself for failing to do, he believes he didn’t step in and saved Tomura, his Hero, sooner.

It’s not really a new idea in the story.

When Bakugō was kidnapped Tomura himself, talking with him, asked him why the press was criticizing Heroes who were, after all, humans whose only crime was doing too little, too late. Society expected them to be perfect but humans can screw up here and there, can they?

In truth though, especially after the Stain’s arc, Tomura’s speech doesn’t feel like a “we should support Heroes more” kind of speech, but a Heroes really aren’t doing enough, with Shūichi summarizing how Stain taught them that when Heroes started protecting people for a paycheck they stopped being Heroes… which might seem him scolding them for doing it for their self interest… but if we turn it around it can also mean that since they’re PAID to save people, if they don’t they FAIL at their work and this allows society to complain and ask for a refund.

To go back to the scene of the lady not helping Tenko this would be that the story isn’t scolding the lady for not helping Tenko… but for not helping the Heroes to find Tenko so that they could help him.

While the result is similar (either way Tenko gets help) the final message is different. People aren’t asked anymore to help other people but… let’s call it the system in place. They’re asked to take responsibility in helping the Heroes, to cooperate with them so as to make the Hero society work better.

Midoriya’s fight with Tomura was meant to show people Heroes need them to win and save them, society has no interest in saving Tomura, they needed to see Midoriya win with their help so that they would change and become more supportive of Heroes.

Then Heroes… assuming they’re good Heroes… could have it easier saving people so that more of them could be saved. In short the idea BNHA might be trying to propose is, if common people also were to turn into a bit of a Hero (as they would support Heroes and be Heroes for their Heroes), the Heroes then could prevent more easily things from getting worse which is what Midoriya and Tsukauchi talk about.

Now… I don’t know if this is the theme Horikoshi went for and if this was his intention from the start (honestly to be Tomura’s speech felt like him scolding the Heroes, not society for deciding not to support them) but the real problem I see with this theme, is that it might work in Japan, but not so much in the west.

Japan has a good relation with its police (I’ll take supporting Heroes can be the equivalent of supporting police in the real world), they don’t fear it, they find it reassuring, they’re regarded with great respect and admiration. They aren’t at the level of the Heroes of BNHA but it’s quite a difference with how many countries in the west instead fear police, blame it for its violence and abuse of authority and don’t see it as really reassuring or supportive of people or worthy of respect.

Japanese people don’t discuss when the police arrest someone, if they do it should be because that someone was guilty (and once you’re arrested you’ll generally are judged guilty in Japan) while in the west we fear more the people might have caught the wrong guy for various reasons.

So while in Japan a theme that remembers people of the importance of being supportive with the people in charge of the protection of citizens might work… in the west it might be taken differently. Many western countries are more critical of the government and of the police than in Japan, which is also why many fanfic writers like to paint the Hero Commission as the bad guy in their stories, while Horikoshi, despite saying it did some wrong things, didn’t really handle it as an evil organization.

Society remains unaware of its wrongdoing, the president is murdered off in a quick scene and, after a brief period in which Mera was in charge, Hawks is placed as the new president and, since Hawks is meant to be seen as a good guy, likely this is our narrative clue that the Hero Commission will take a turn for the better, with him even trying to free Lady Nagant and her remaining in jail just because she decided to stay.

It kind of reminds me of how in the past in Japan when a clan rebelled and then lost, the family head would commit seppuku and they would switch to a new family head and the clan would be pardoned… so I guess from a Japanese standpoint this can work just fine while here, if we’ve an organization doing something dirty we worry to make sure we remove EVERYONE who was involved in it, not just the boss… but okay, I guess we’ll see how Horikoshi expects society to change in future chapters so I guess I should just be patient and, for now, this is just food for thoughts as I might be completely off track.

#boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #Shigaraki Tomura #Midoriya Izuku #bnha ramblings #BNHA Chapter Ramblings #bnha meta

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glade-constellation · 3 months ago

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I think I’m starting to realize that Nexus may be one of the most misunderstood characters in the show.

Am I a fan of Nexus? No, not really. I find him funny to watch because, besides EAPS Monty, he says the most out of pocket shit. Never know what to expect when he opens his mouth. But besides that, I just can’t find any interest in him.

That being said, I recently have been doing a deep dive of his character to prove a theory I had, which turned out to be partially canon in today’s episode. I didn’t think Nexus had the Ruin virus, I don’t think he ever had it. After watching one of the introductory episodes in EAPS, I started to theorize that Nexus became what he is purely because he is a Moon. I still think this is true, and was simply sped up by the harvesting of dark star power.

This might be a long post, so strap in.

So. Nexus. I don’t feel dramatic in saying he’s possibly one of the most hated TSAMS characters, or at least most of the fandom’s least favorite. A good bit of the fandom believed he was infected by the Ruin virus, or was just a victim of terrible story writing, because it just didn’t seem possible for him to go this far. Sure, he was deeply traumatized by Solar’s death on top of many other things, but that didn’t seem like it would turn him completely evil. I was also one of the people who believed the Infection theory, as shown by my many posts during Nexus’ corruption arc.

Funnily enough, it was Eclipse of all characters that changed my view of Nexus and who he is. During “Eclipse and Puppet meet the NEW SUN”, Eclipse makes a very big point in relating himself back to the original Moon. It’s something I remembered from Eclipse’s lore, but had never really sat down and thought over. I believe @/samoftheswamp had a post that I 100% agreed with. Eclipse has all the memories of the original Moon before the separation, but is only made up of the kill code and very small fragments of Moon coding-wise. Everything else about Eclipse in that regard was filled in by Sun. He then continued to tear apart his own coding to make Bloodmoon and Lunar. Despite all of this, due to his memories, Eclipse still very much considers himself to be the original Moon.

How does any of this relate to Nexus? Simple. The coding and memories. Despite Eclipse and Nexus being completely opposites in both of those things, Eclipse still falls in line with Moons far more than he does Suns. V4 Eclipse talks a lot about how much his old self, and even current self, acts so similar to Moons. Though he appears as a Sun, Eclipse is a Moon by emotional and psychological standards.

I would also like to point out that Solar specifically say the only reason he was different from most Eclipse’s was due to his Sun’s influence. Everything that happened to Eclipse also happened to Solar up until his Sun decided to try and help him. That means that Solar also falls under the Moon category.

Now that we’ve established who counts as a Moon, let’s get into why this is important. One thing every single Moon has had in common so far is their villain arc. Moon has had several mini ones, mostly influenced by other people. Eclipse was a villain up until very recently. Solar was almost a villain until his Sun stepped in. Killcode was a villain until his change of heart. Bloodmoon was just, a villain. Hell, even Cringe Dimension Moon went evil. And now we have Nexus.

Am I saying all Moons are destined to become villains? Yes, but no. I think all Moons have a possibility of becoming a villain, and it is their choice to be one or not. Every Moon we meet tends to go through some sort of catastrophic event that leads them to this choice. OG Moon was built with a kill code. Eclipse, Solar, KC, and Bloodmoon all were a piece of that kill code in some way, on top of other trauma in some cases. Nexus never had the kill code, but he’s been through several different instances of trauma. He literally woke up to the world under Eclipse’s rule. He also had to witness the death of someone he considered a brother in his very own arms. All of these characters have had an instance where they were able to choose between being good or evil. Solar shows that Eclipse didn’t have to be evil, his coding wasn’t fully controlling his actions. He chose to be a villain. Killcode was evil by design, but chose to become good, whereas Bloodmoon was accidentally created as a murderbot and chose to stay evil.

I really want to focus in on Eclipse and Solar real quick. A lot of these characters are antithesis of each other, but Eclipse and Solar are supposed to be the perfectly representation of “what if”. Solar’s whole existence shows that Eclipse chose the path he went on. Could he have been influenced by the kill code? Yeah, definitely. That’s totally an option. But Solar was just as corrupted by our understanding. The only reason he was able to become good was because someone stepped in. Someone treated him like a person and showed him a different way. Eclipse never had that, and ended up choosing the path of evil since that influence was never given to him.

All this to say, it is completely in character for Nexus to have chosen the path of a villain by his own volition. Moons have always been portrayed to have the ability to turn evil. It has never actually mattered what their coding is or what trauma they have been through, every Moon has had a moment where they have had to make a choice. Will they be a hero, or become the villain they were “destined” to be?

I do not think Nexus was of complete clear consciousness when making this decision. Not because of a virus or kill code, not even the dark star power he may have had a the time. It was simply his mental health. Eclipse and Solar are a perfect example of how mental health can completely change a character. Nexus’ entire life was made up of disaster after disaster, which he felt completely responsible for. When Solar died in his arms, it was his snapping point. He was standing on the edge, teetering between sanity and insanity. He felt as if his family abandoned him, on top of his already present self blame and hatred, and he fell. (It does not help that his family failed pretty spectacularly in helping him, but that is the reality of most situations like this. We as an audience were of sound mind when coming up with ways to help Nexus, but the Celestial family was not. They all had their own things to focus on, and couldn’t give Nexus the help he truly needed, despite them thinking they had. Hindsight is a bitch when it comes to scenarios such as this.)

I don’t like Nexus. The story they seem to be telling with his current character arc is the same as Bloodmoon’s, that some people just aren’t worth saving. I do not believe in this sentiment at all, and also believe Nexus could have been handled much better than he currently is. But I cannot deny that how he is acting is actually incredibly plausible. It is not out of character for him to have become what he currently is, even without outside influences. Him harvesting dark star power just happens to make his fall into insanity even more likely.

(I would like to add that none of what I just wrote was against the writers and/or actors in any way. This is a “forever” roleplay show made using VRChat on YouTube. I am in no way expecting greatness. I enjoy having Nexus and characters like EAPS Monty specifically because they play into my more out of pocket sense of humor. I would also like to reiterate that all of this is simply a theory, and how I view the characters of the show. You are completely allowed to have your own opinion! Also, if you read this whole post, thank you! Even if we don’t agree, I am grateful you put time into reading this extensive post.)

#🌟 Ten Talks #tsams #sams #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #tsams nexus #long post #character analysis

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messedupfan · 1 year ago

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Chapter 7

Summary: Wanda receives a notice from the Homeowners Association. Y/n goes on a first date with Daisy. And Rachel has her first secret from her parents.

A/N: Yay! Another chapter!! So happy to be writing for this series again. Ugh it was a rough few months but I'm finally getting back on track! Hope y'all enjoy this chapter! Please lemme know in the comments! Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Wanda mutters to herself as she reads the letter that was taped to her front door. With everything going on, this has to be the cherry on top. She hates living under a homeowners association. She submitted a thorough request for the expansion that she thought was going to get the approval from them. But instead, she was given a rejection with a notice that someone from the association was going to drop by to review the damage and give her a deadline to have it fixed with the original blueprints. She can't even add windows.

She calls Pietro as she angrily gets into her car to update him in the bad news. “I fucking hate that place,” Pietro says. “Alright well, you tried. I will let Y/n know and cancel a few orders for materials. I'm sorry they rejected you,” Pietro sighs on his end.

“Thank you for all of your help,” she ends the call and continues driving to pick up her boys from their sleepover.

Pietro calls you through the radio to meet him at his office whenever you have a chance. You let him know that you will and when your lunch break comes around, you head to his trailer. You're curious as to why he would need to talk to you. The construction team is ahead of schedule and as far as you know, way under budget. Then you think that maybe Wanda told him about your sleepover and worry that he might've misunderstood his sister.

You knock on the door to his onsite office and he shouts that the door is unlocked. You open the door and climb in. “You wanted to see me?”

“Yeah,” he shuts his laptop to focus on you and you begin to worry that he's going to tell you to stay away or something. “Wanda's request for the expansion wasn't approved. We have to undo all of the work we started and put it back the way it was.”

You're relieved that the chat isn't about your night but you're upset by the news. “She can't fight back on this?” You ask as you think of the ways that Wanda could get what she wants.

“She could, but it didn't sound like she had the energy to. And since we don't own the home there's nothing we can do about it.” Pietro explains. You nod with a deep breath and tell him that it sucks before leaving the office promising that you'll see him tomorrow.

After work you send Wanda a quick text letting her know what you think about the situation. When she doesn't respond, you assume it's because she's busy with the boys. Instead of checking your phone every five seconds, you get ready for your date. You shower and put on the nicest clothes that you own. You spend time making sure your hair looks perfect and smelling good.

You drive to the address that Daisy gave you, it isn't Phil's house and you're curious why she's staying somewhere else but when she gets in the car she explains that she doesn't want her dad to know anything about her dating life unless it's someone worth mentioning. “That's pretty much what any single parent does,” you say with a small laugh.

“I know, my friend comes from a broken home. I just thought after a few bad attempts of bringing people to meet my parents it would be best to have my own place when I was in the position to do so.” Daisy says as she fixes her makeup in the sun visor mirror. “You look amazing by the way. I had no idea that you cleaned up so well.”

You smile as you take a moment to look at her during the stop light. “Thank you, I try. You are stunning, Daisy. I think I might lose you at some point tonight. I don't know how anyone will be able to look at anything else.”

Daisy tries to hide her blush as she holds a seriousness in her eyes, “I don't care about anyone else. I only want your attention.” You start to lean in to kiss her but the car behind you honks the horn and you realize that the light is green. “Keep your eyes on the road. Wouldn't want to end up in the hospital on our first date.” She places her hand on your thigh, startling you, and squeezes.

“Woah,” you say as you take her wrist and pull her hand off of you. Instead you hold it in your hand and drive with the other. “How was your day?” you ask in order to start some sort of conversation. The two of you find something to talk about the entire way to the restaurant, easing the nerves that had been eating at the both of you.

When you're seated you notice a couple of guys looking over at your table but you don't think much of it. “Oh this pasta sounds good but so does this one,” Daisy says as she points them out on the menu in front of you.

“They do sound pretty appetizing. How about I order one and you order the other and we split it, so we can try both?” You suggest.

Daisy scrunches her face and denies the idea. “Actually, I think I'm going to get the steak,” she says as she browses the menu more. You nod and start to look for something else on the menu.

After the both of you have ordered you're left staring at each other, sipping your drinks. “Can I ask why you wanted to go out with a single parent?” You finally pose the question that has been haunting you since last night.

“I have always kind of wanted to date you,” she shrugs. “You’re good looking, kind, funny, wise, and have a good heart. What more could a girl ask for?”

You fail at hiding the affect her words have on you and grin as you shake your head. “That is a really sweet answer but I'm trying to figure out what you want from dating me. I mean, I have a daughter and she will always be my number one priority. I know that many people aren't okay with that and-”

“I’m not one of them,” she interrupts as she lays her hand on the table top for you to take. You place your hand on her wrist and the two of you hold each other like this from across the table. “I’ve met Rachel. You've had me babysit her in the past. She's a great kid and I love her. I don't blame you for putting her first. In fact, I respect you for it.”

You fill with relief at her words and nod, “Thank you, I just wasn't sure. I mean, you're in your early twenties. You should be young and free and not dating someone like me.”

Daisy shakes her head, “You're not some decrepit person that can't leave the nursing home. You're still young and free and in your twenties. I don’t know what you think people my age do but I've dated plenty of them. None of them want a real connection outside of physical. Honestly, I'm ready to start thinking about settling down with someone. Build a life, y'know?”

You nod and bite your tongue to keep from pointing out how young she is to start thinking about that stuff. You're in no position to say anything because you don't regret the decisions you've made and you know that at eighteen you wouldn't hear that kind of advice. By twenty-two you probably still wouldn't have listened.

Halfway through what turns out to be a quiet meal, you excuse yourself to the restroom to give yourself some space and a pep talk to stop being so awkward. While you're exiting, your phone starts ringing and you answer when you see that it's Wanda. “Hey you,” you greet as you lean on the wall near the door. “How's your night going?”

“It’s going alright,” Wanda says as she puts the clean dishes away. “Did Pietro already tell you?”

“Yeah,” you say sadly. Someone asks if there’s a line and you shake your head and point to the phone. You move a little further away from the door. “How bummed are you about it?”

Wanda sighs, “Pretty bummed but the boys are home tonight so I can’t drink about it. Which is for the best. Don’t want to start that bad habit.” She starts to wipe down her counters. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing much, just having dinner with an old friend,” you say as you glance around the wall to see if Daisy is okay. She looks bored and picks up her phone.

“Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry for interrupting,” Wanda says.

“Don’t be,” you assure her, “I could have not answered, you know? It’s not your fault.”

“That’s true,” she drags out the word in confusion. “Do you need me to come up with an excuse for you? I can have you out of there so fast, no questions asked.”

You laugh at the offer, “No, it’s uh, it’s going.” You notice Daisy checking her watch and looking around the restaurant. You sigh as you figure that you’ve been away for too long. Are you avoiding her? You don’t know. “Which I probably should too. I think I’ve been gone too long, I don’t want her to think I’ve ditched her.”

“Oh my goodness! You’re on a date!” Wanda gasps loudly. “You’re an idiot, go back to her. Don’t tell her you took a phone call either. Just say it was an embarrassing bathroom issue or something just… shit, hang up already!”

You can’t help but laugh at Wanda as she rambles on, “Arlight, I’ll tell her all about my explosive bathroom episode.” Wanda makes a noise but tells you that it's perfect. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” you say as you end the call and walk back to the table. You feel guilty when Daisy’s eyes shine with relief and so you start rubbing your stomach. “I don’t want to be gross but that food went right through me!” You joke and Daisy laughs telling you that it’s fine. “So, are you thinking about having dessert here or should we go somewhere else?”

Daisy hums in thought and reaches across the table for your hand which you allow her to take, “Depends, do you have any dessert at your place?” she asks flirtatiously, almost causing you to have a coughing fit.

You clear your throat a couple of times as you start to avoid her gaze a bit in order to come up with a proper response. An easy let down that will have her laughing instead of feeling rejected. “Well, I don’t know whatever lies Steve might have told you, but I don’t put out on the first date.” Daisy is confused for a second before she bursts out laughing. You join her a little as you’re able to look at her again.

“Ok, I have to admit. I was kind of testing you with that question and you passed with flying colors,” she says once she has settled down, you let her know that it’s a relief. “I’ve heard of this twenty-for seven cupcake ATM machine and I’ve been dying to try it but haven’t had the chance. Do you think we could do that?”

“Absolutely! Rachel loves that thing,” you say as you start to flag down the waiter to get some to-go boxes for the rest of the food on yours and hers plates. When the bill is settled, you and Daisy head over to the nearest cupcake ATM and you help her learn how to use the machine. She takes videos to share on her social media and even a few pictures with you to keep for herself. You don’t ask why she doesn’t post them because you’re happy to not have that conversation right now. The two of you walk and talk while you eat your cupcakes. She is a bit more relaxed and you have to admit that so are you.

When the date has come to an end, you walk her to her door and wish her a goodnight. “Wait,” she stops you from leaving. “I know you don’t put out on a first date, except for Steve Rogers apparently,” you laugh a little at her statement. “But um, gosh I’ve never had to ask this before.” Daisy blinks a few times before gathering up the courage to ask, “Will you kiss me before you leave?”

You are surprised by the request but it is a date after all. “Yeah, sorry,” you say as you step closer to her. This was weird, you’ve never been asked to kiss someone unless there was tension and right now there wasn’t any. You close your eyes as you lean in and kiss her on the lips. It turns out to be a decent kiss but it doesn’t have you craving more. It’s been a long time since you’ve craved someone. At this point you’re convinced it’s just you because Daisy goes in for more when you try to break away. You kiss her once more to try and clear your head but it still doesn't feel right, so you really take a step back. “I have an early day tomorrow, I’m sorry. I’ll let you know when I’m available next.”

“Okay, yeah,” Daisy nods as she wipes her lips. “I’ll see you then. Or maybe you could stop by the Hub. We don't always have to see each other for dates, you know.” You agree and say that you'll try to stop by without promising too much. “Have a good week with Rachel.” She says with a sweet smile.

“Thank you, I will,” you smile back and walk away.

The next morning you go to Jean’s house to pick up Rachel. While you're waiting, you chat with Jean for a bit about nothing important until you notice her acting a little funny. You ask her what's up. “Nothing, nothing, I don't know anything about anything.”

You shake your head and ask in a low tone to keep Rachel from hearing, “Great, who told you about my date?”

“No one,” she says as she fails to hold back her grin and you ask again. “Okay, it was Anna,” she confesses. You drop your head as you shake it again. “In her defense, it's your fault that you chose my favorite restaurant to take her to.”

“Excuse you, I believe I won that restaurant in the divorce,” you say back lightly instead of reminding her that it was your favorite restaurant first.

“Whatever, I was craving it last night and so we got a pick up order and she saw you when she was picking it up,” Jean finished the story. “She’s cute,” she says next and you take a slow breath.

“She took a picture?” you rub your face, upset by the lack of privacy in your life lately. You never signed up to be a celebrity.

“What? You think I was just going to believe her when she said that? I needed proof!” Jean exclaims, causing you to tell her to quiet down. “Sorry,” she grimaces. The both of you wait to hear any sign of Rachel before continuing. “So, how'd it go?”

“It went,” you reply.

Jean rolls her eyes, “Come on, you can do better than that!”

You sigh and sit up as you think about how to describe the date to your ex-wife. “It was good. A little bit awkward. She’s had a crush on me since she was seventeen, so it's-”

“Hold on what,” Jean stops you with concern and fear in her eyes.

“Oh! Sorry, she's twenty-two, completely legal. Um, remember Phil's daughter? She used to babysit Rach before she went off to college?” You try to jog Jean’s memory and it takes her a second to process. She pulls her phone out to look at the picture again and she starts to finally recognize her.

“Oh?” she says as she straightens up and scowls at the picture. “She looks… grown up,” she says slowly.

“Yeah well, she asked me out and Kate kind of encouraged me to say yes. Then I talked to Phil about it and he seemed to be somewhat okay about it,” you clear your throat as you shift uncomfortably from the lack of playfulness from Jean. “It’s not weird… is it?”

Jean shakes her head, “Just, please tell me that you didn't find her attractive when we had her babysit for us when we were doing couples therapy.”

You pinch your eyebrows together and frown, a little offended by the accusation. “I didn't know her when we were married,” you state first as you try to remember that first year that you worked at the bar. You know that you started there at twenty-one but you don't remember hiring Daisy then or even meeting her. Did you?

“Well, that's kind of a relief, ” Jean mutters. “You got the job working for her dad to help us pay the therapy bills remember? And he offered for Daisy to watch Rachel when we needed,” now she is trying to jog your memory but as you've pointed out before, you don't really like to think back on that year. You shake your head as you come up blank. Is Daisy a year younger than you originally thought she was when you met her? The math isn't really holding up here.

“That doesn't make sense, she said that she had a crush on me when she was seventeen. When we met,” you say. “She would be twenty-one now if we met when I was twenty-one.” You try to understand what Jean is saying.

“Honey, her birthday is July second, she turned twenty-two only weeks ago. And you’ll be turning…” she draws out the end to let you catch up.

“Twenty-eight this year,” you conclude as it all starts to make sense now. “Huh, I really should have paid more attention in school.” Jean laughs because she tried every year to get you to focus more on school instead of her or the next get rich fast scheme you always had cooking up. “Anyway, I wasn’t paying attention to her in that way back then, I promise. It’s still kind of hard for me to think of her in that way. Except it’s not like I still see her as a kid I just think I see her as more of a friend,” you explain.

Jean nods, “So it didn’t go well.”

“I wouldn’t,” before you can say anything else, Rachel is running towards you with the things she wanted to bring with her. “Hey, munchkin!” You rise and greet her with a tight hug. She hugs you back just as tight and it warms your heart knowing that your daughter loves you. “Are you ready? Because we have to get to Ms. Wanda’s a little earlier today.”

“Yup, all ready! I have something I really want to show Billy and Tommy,” she says as she moves her bag around. “That’s what took me so long. Sorry, I needed to get it done before we left. I’ve been working on it all week.” You smile, impressed that she worked all week on something to show her friends.

“It’s okay, I got to catch up with mommy,” you say as you tug one of the shoulder straps on her bag. “Do I get to see what you made?”

“No,” she shakes her head before she turns around and opens the front door. “Let’s go!” She hops to your work truck and climbs in.

You laugh and look at Jean, “Have you seen it?”

She shakes her head, “Nope, she wouldn’t let me or Anna in her room because of it.”

“Wow,” you look at her from the entryway of the home and she is sticking her head out of the window calling for you to hurry up. “I can’t believe it, ten-years-old and she already has secrets from us.”

Jean shrugs, “It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“I know but I was hoping for later. Much, much later,” you say as you wipe fake tears. Jean pushes your arm as she calls you ridiculous, you smile as you pull her in for a half hug. “I better go. I’ll see you next week.” She rubs your back and pats you a couple of times.

“You better update me on your whole cradle robbing situation,” she teases you.

“I should have seen that coming,” you walk away as she calls you a few more names, making you laugh all the way to the truck. Rachel asks what’s so funny. “Your mom is a weirdo,” you say. Rachel agrees and then says that momma Anna is even weirder and you have to refrain from laughing by telling her that’s not nice. She says it’s true and you cut the conversation by playing her music on the car stereo.

You and Pietro work fast in rebuilding the wall so that Wanda doesn't get into too much trouble with the representative from the homeowners association. It was turning out to be easier putting it back together than it was tearing it down. Of course though, now you don't have to worry about removing the wrong thing and causing the entire house to collapse. Everyone lucked out that you and Pietro hadn't started on expanding the floor yet. That would have been a little more difficult to fix up in the short window of time that Wanda was given.

When lunch comes you and Pietro scarf the food down in order to keep working. Especially since the new siding for the house got delivered to the job site across town and the two of you had to go pick it up. The original siding for the house was destroyed the previous weekend when the two of you finally made it that far. Pietro thought it would be best to order new material at the time anyway since they would need it to cover the new extension of the house.

All day you and Pietro are working inside and outside of the house to get the wall repaired with the material that you have available at the moment. Unfortunately, the beams that are needed in order to continue won't arrive until tomorrow. Which means that you are heading home earlier than expected. You slowly walk up the stairs to warn Rachel that you're packing up to leave but when you get close to the boy's room, you overhear them talking about some sort of plan.

You take a small peek into the room through the crack in the door that should have been wide open. Rachel was holding up a notebook as if she was presenting to the boys sitting in front of her. That's possibly what she was working on. You try to get a better look by opening the door a little more but it knocks over a noisy toy and causes the four kids to scatter and pretend to look normal. You give Rachel a weird look as she asks you if you're done working. You confirm and then leave her to collect her things so that you can do the same.

“Hey,” Wanda calls as you pass her office on the way back to the stairs. “Do you have a second?” You look around to be certain that she's talking to you before you approach. She isn't on the phone and no one else is in the hall, so it could only be you.

“Uh, sure,” you say as you step closer. You didn't get to interact much with Wanda today and you couldn't tell if it was you avoiding her or her avoiding you. Last night after the awkward kiss with Daisy, you couldn't help but compare how you wanted to kiss Wanda the night before. Then you started to think that maybe if you got to kiss her, maybe it would feel right. But you couldn't test that theory out yet. Not when you're in too deep with Daisy.

“Just for some peace of mind,” Wanda closes her laptop and focuses her attention on you. “And I don't want to make things awkward between us by saying this but, I feel like it kind of needs to be addressed.” Her rambling has you a little concerned but you let her continue. “I know we've said it to other people but I don't think we've really said it to each other. Um, we are just friends, right?”

There is a slight pain in your chest when she says that but it's the truth. “Of course,” you say confidently. “Yeah, we're just friends,” you state again, this time with an unintentional undertone of disappointment. You clear your throat and look back before stepping in the office a little more. “Why did you feel like that needed clarification?” You ask, against your better judgment.

Wanda looks around her desk as if she wrote the answer somewhere but not a single blueprint can help her. “No reason it's just, I don't know… well, so many people assume things and I just want to make sure we're on the same page. Yeah, that's it. Just, I don't know. Forget I asked,” you don't press for more because you can tell that part of her might feel the way that part of you feels but you aren't quite sure what to do with that feeling.

“Okay, well, we're done for the day, I was about to-”

“How was your date?” she interrupts and your eyebrows shoot up as your mouth shuts.

“Uh it was okay,” you say. You're not used to so many people knowing about your dating life. “I don't see a wedding anytime soon but it was good. We'll probably try to go out again when I don't have Rachel.”

Wanda nods, “That’s fun, that's fun. How um, how long have you been seeing her?”

“Yesterday was our first date, actually you met her. She was the waitress at the, ehem, the bar we met up at,” you say awkwardly. It feels like the two of you are trying to be friends. This conversation doesn't feel as natural as any other conversation.

“I remember her,” she is a little disappointed that you chose someone younger but it's not her life. She might only be feeling this way because her ex-husband cheated on her with a college student.

“Yeah, um,” you start to explain yourself once again but Rachel runs to your side and grabs your hand asking if you're ready to go. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” you tell Wanda who stands from her desk and walks over to you and Rachel to give proper goodbyes. She hugs both of you separately and thanks you for all of your help. You finally make your way downstairs and decide to leave the tools since Pietro already put away the dangerous ones.

You leave the home conflicted by the conversation with Wanda but by the time you get home, you decide to not read into it too much. The two of you are friends and that's all you will ever be.

On Wednesday, the representative from the homeowners association arrives in the early afternoon to inspect the house. On Sunday you and Pietro were so close to finishing the wall but it was going to take another day or two. Wanda was fine with explaining to whoever she had to that it was going to be fine.

She was starting to get fired up again about it being her house so she should be allowed to do as she pleased. Especially when she received an email explaining that the appointment was rescheduled due to them wanting the entire house inspected. Which meant that she had to make sure the house was spotless. Especially the former man cave which she hasn't seen since Pietro destroyed everything. She hadn't known that you and him already cleaned up the mess until she made her way down there.

The space needed some dusting and vacuuming but beyond that, it was clean. Luckily Pietro only trashed the stuff in the boxes that didn't include the furniture or the television. So the room still looked pretty decent, better even without all of the junk on the walls.

As Wanda guided the woman around the house after she assessed the wall, she noticed that the woman was being a little bit flirty towards her. She wasn't sure if she was making it up or if she was misreading some of the woman's remarks. But Wanda was kind of into it. She hadn't been with a woman since her sophomore year of college. Raven Darkholme lived a couple doors down from hers and the two found themselves being left in the common area and locked out of their rooms often. One thing led to another and they dated for a solid six months before Wanda met Vision while taking his class.

“I don't see any issues here, Mrs. St-”

“Actually it's Ms. Maximoff,” Wanda corrects. “I’m not married anymore,” she adds although she wasn't sure if that was necessary information.

“My apologies, Ms. Maximoff,” the woman smiles and looks her up and down before continuing. “As I was saying, other than the obvious incident with the wall which you said you're having repaired, I don't see why my visit was necessary. But I can't deny that I'm not happy to be here.”

Wanda is starting to realize that it isn't in her head at all. “I must admit, I wasn't too thrilled about today, Ms. Romanoff. But it's been a relief knowing that my house is up to the HOA’s standards.”

“Look, I know that this is totally inappropriate and unprofessional but um…” the inspector grabs one of her business cards and scribbles down her personal phone number. “Call me, if you're interested in letting me inspect you.” She says flirtatiously as she hands Wanda the card. The brunette blushes as she tries to hide her grin. That was quite a line.

“I will keep that in mind, but you should know. I'm a mo-”

“Mother of two boys? Yeah, we covered that when we walked around upstairs,” she finishes Wanda’s sentence.

Wanda laughs as she is flustered, “Right, sorry, I'm just. Sorry, this hasn't happened to me in um years.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Natasha says. The two stand in the living room space staring at each other until the blonde's watch goes off, reminding her of her next appointment. “I better get going. I have another inspection in fifteen minutes. I'll let the board know that you're clear and that they don't need to send anything else. Call the business number on there when you have the wall finished and I'll send the paperwork to the board so that they'll leave you alone.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate that,” Wanda says carefully.

“It's my pleasure,” Natasha says as they walk to the front door together. “I hope to hear from you soon.” The woman walks away and this is one time that Wanda is relieved that her boys aren't here with her to witness that interaction. She shuts her front door and bites her bottom lip as she looks at the phone number on the card. Natasha even drew a little heart above the number. Maybe she is ready to start putting herself out there. This just wasn't what she ever imagined.

Chapter 8

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#fanfiction #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda fanfic #wanda maximoff au #wanda #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wonderstruck series #messedupfan

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chansbabygirlsstuff · 8 months ago

Note

Hi (: can you please do a skz where the reader has the fear of being abandoned and they wake up in the morning seeing skz are not with them?

Hey love ofc!

Warning: Angst, Fluff,

mood: felt cute might delete later.

Song recommendation:leave me lonely by Ariana Grande

Leave me lonely

Hyung version

Bang Chan

You wake up stretching your arm to feel him close and hug him in the morning but you don't feel him there, your lonely bed just a ray of sunlight hitting the floor in front of your bed you sit up worrying about where he went, You cover your naked body with the sheets trying to look for an answer but no sign of him.

Did you do something wrong last night? did he not like it? Were you not pleasurable enough?

Your eyes started to get watery as small tears started to pour out your eyes as you cuddled yourself with your banket letting sobs out your mouth.

you remember your repeated story of your exes when they left just like that because they had enough of you by using you and leaving you lonely, you didn't expect that from Chan, you kept quiet to listen if maybe he was around the house, but you couldn't hear anything

You let your sobs louder than before feeling your heart breaking.

"Babygirl what happened? Chan opens the door rushes over to you and envelopes you in his arms "You were here?" you ask him in tears

"yes, baby what happened?" He asks worriedly "I thought you left me Chan" You sob harder and hug him back

"awww baby I will never leave you, I was just making us some breakfast, and yeah... it was supposed to be a surprise" but you kept crying "Shh, baby don't cry I got you" he smiled and kissed your forehead "I can't stop crying though" you said through sobs and the laughed "it's ok baby lets cuddle ok? your just sensitive form last night" he winks and lay's you down on top of him.

he caresses your head as you try to control your breathing, and you hear him making dirty jokes to try to make you stop crying but everything is better with a passionate kiss he gives you before you guys fall back asleep

Lee Know

Last night's argument led us to have angry sex, one of the best we ever had, but it didn't seem to get better after it though, ofc we had a cuddle session afterward but I think it's better to talk it out first

I turn around in my bed to face him but I'm met with an empty space, I immediately sit up and look around for him, I grab a shirt from his shirt from our closet and start looking for him in the bathroom, but he isn't there, I looked in the kitchen but it was empty, I started to get nervous as I don't see him

I don't want him to leave me just because of a fight, just because got insecure and jealous because he was talking with a college after work

I don't want to end like this my heart races as my eyes get teary

"Lee knows babe where are you" My voice sounded desperate as sobs start to leave me, I sat on the couch and hugged my knees trying to put pressure on my chest to not start a panic attack.

I cry hard enough that makes my chest hurt, feel disowned, and unloved making me rethink how should I acted yesterday, I shouldn't accused him of something that I misunderstood

"y/n?" I hear the front door open I turn around to look at him, I stand up and run to him, putting my arms around him

"what happened? Are you ok? Are you hurt?" he pulled away to check my body and see if I was ok, but since I didn't respond he hugged me a put a hand on my chest making me feel safe around him

"I thought you really left," I said trying to stop crying "no baby I'm sorry I did t mean what I said yesterday, I promise you I will never leave you ok?" he assures me, and hugs me again "I'm sorry as well"

I cried into his chest "Look don't cry I left to grab some breakfast for us" he kissed my head and led us to the table and started breakfast.

Chanbin

last night I was feeling really bad, and Chanbin cuddled me all night as I cried on his chest feeling bad about having a mental breakdown, On our 2nd anniversary he was there with me all the time, and until now

I just woke up and I wanted to have more time with him before he left to work, but can't see him anywhere, was I too annoying last night? did I cry too much that I bored him? Maybe he got mad and left for work without saying goodbye.

I curled in my bed putting my pillow on my face I started sobbing into it, why am I always so dramatic? why do I always need someone on my side? why can't I not bother anyone in every single thing I do?

"bunny what happened?" Chanbin says getting out of the bathroom, messy hair and still in his pj's he rubs his eyes getting into bed and hugging my figure, still curled up on the sheets

"I'm sorry for always crying, I thought I annoyed you and you left," I said cleaning my tears "Oh bunny don't cry, you never annoy me because you're my bunny," he said the last part in Aeygo making me laugh, "and of course, I will never leave you alone after a conversation like yesterday, I know you need me to know as ever and I'm here for you"

you nodded and kissed him and he kissed you back "Why weren't you here?" you asked rubbing your eyes "Well I was taking a shit so..." he says and we both laugh as we cuddle up against each other and put on the TV admiring each others presence

Hyunjin

Hyunjin has been busy he has been more at work, finishing his artwork for his presentation next month I know it takes its time but I need him now more than ever I need him to be with me to hold me and love me, so my Idea of last night was to get him all up on me and

it did work

I wake up in the morning but I hear the shower on he is getting ready to leave for work, Why can't he stay with me? he always leaves early 7 am and gets back at midnight, so we don't have time together, feeling tired I sit up and look for my clothes, but get too dizzy and sit back down, I try once more and grab my clothes, get dressed in my comfortable pj's I sit on the edge of the bed looking at out bathroom door waiting for him to get out.

He gets out only with some joggers on, drying his hair and looking for his shirt "I'm going to be back late again, so don't wait for me" he says looking another way as he is getting dressed "You leaving me alone again?" he nods looking at you with empathy " Sorry work has been very busy" he continues to dress himself "can't we be together for some time?" you ask "we had our time last night baby" he turns his head to the side and looks back at the mirror "yeah but I need you more than anything right now" "I know me too but life is tough sometimes" he kisses my forehead before putting his shoes on " Hyunjin wait... really I need you by my side... I don't want to be alone right now" your tears fall down your cheeks as you look at him

"Don't cry y/n I will be back don't worry" he kisses you and opens the door

"Hyunjin I'm pregnant," you say fast, and his tracks stop

"What?" he looks back shocked waiting for this to be your joke of the week

"I'm 2 months in already and I just didn't know when to tell you because you were always busy" You cry even harder, scared of his reaction "Oh my go- why didn't you tell me sooner, baby I should've taken better care of you" He comes back and hugs you tight

"it's ok don't worry, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, baby" he sits back down on the bed and lays you down on his chest while you cry " I'm going to be here with you all the time, he kisses you and cuddles next to you, forgetting about work and about stress now he can only think about his baby mama and his baby right now.

hey loves I hope you enjoy plz support this page and make sure to like it

Plz feel free to leave requests in my page and the tag list is open

Love you

#bang chan fluff #bang chan imagines #skz angst #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin #lee minho #minho #lee know #chanbin #chanbig

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candycandy00 · 2 months ago

Text

Roses in the Sky - An Original Alien x Reader Story Part 10

In a future where humanity huddles in decaying domed cities controlled by alien invaders, you and your best friend Anna work as make-shift nurses in a tiny clinic run by the young doctor Terrian. The city is ruled by the aliens' violent, half-breed offspring who serve as brutal overseers. You and Anna have always tried to avoid these overseers at all cost, but your life is changed when one of those same terrifying offspring is brought into the clinic, injured and unconscious.

This is an original Alien (well half alien) x Fem Reader story! I hope everyone who enjoys my fanfiction will give this a shot! Any feedback whatsoever would be loved! I’ve already written this story so it’s not going to delay my fanfics. Just thought I might post chapters of this between fanfics if anyone is interested.

Slow burn, as this is a novel-length story, but there will be smut in later chapters! Also: violence, blood, rape attempts, death of side characters, etc.

When morning came, you sat up in bed and stretched, for once glancing at the clock without fear. It was your day off, and you intended to enjoy it as much as you could, starting with sleeping in.

You climbed lazily out of bed and walked into the kitchen for breakfast. Vartan was standing by the table, fully dressed. You blinked and tried to focus your vision. "This is unusual," you commented, eyeing his uniform.

"I would like to leave the apartment today."

The words came bluntly, steadily, like someone banging a sharp rhythm on a drum. You heard them, could not possibly mistake them, but still you leaned against the counter and said, "What?"

"I would like to leave today," he repeated, seeming somewhat confused by the need to say it again.

You stared at him for a second, then crossed your arms over your chest. "Alright. Go on. I'm not making you stay or anything. You barged in here to begin with." At some point you realized your hands were balled into fists. Why were you so angry?

He looked at you blankly. "Am I troubling you?"

You frowned. "No, but you're standing here acting like you're asking for my permission to leave. What do you want me to do? Beg you to stay?"

Somewhere in the back of your mind you knew you should watch your tongue, that arguing with a half-breed was never a good idea, but you just couldn't stop yourself.

He still looked rather confused. "I thought I did need your permission. I am living in your home. You still have the right to make me return to the Tower."

It was your turn to look confused. "Wait, what are you talking about? How can I make you return to the Tower if you're going back there today anyway?"

"But... I am not going back to the Tower today," Vartan said.

"You just said you want to leave today!"

"Yes, I would like to leave the apartment for a short while. There is a place I would like to visit."

You immediately reddened. "Oh! Sorry! I totally misunderstood you. Yeah, you can go out for a while. Just don't let any of my neighbors see you."

"Of course," he replied, seemingly oblivious to your embarrassment. He walked toward the door, then stopped and looked back. "Would you like to come with me?"

"Uh, that kinda depends on where you're going," you said.

"Don't worry. I will not be seeing any of my kind."

You smiled. "Okay, then. Just give me a minute to get dressed." You left him to wait in the kitchen while you went to your room to pull on some jeans and a white cotton shirt. The neckline was a little low, with small, thin lace trim. You had been told by Terrian and Anna, on separate occasions, that you looked especially nice in white. You fixed your hair then looked in the mirror. You smiled to yourself, satisfied with your looks.

Would Vartan be satisfied? Why did you even think that question?

You met him in the kitchen, and he nodded to you without a word. You felt a tinge of disappointment. He didn't even seem to notice that you looked better than usual.

He opened the front door, and you edged past him so you could look both ways, making sure no one was in the hall. When the way seemed clear, you headed toward the stairs and motioned for him to follow. You did the same thing on the ground floor, thankful that your apartment building was never very crowded to begin with.

Once you were outside on the street, Vartan took the lead. You followed nervously behind him as he walked along the pavement. You tried to keep a small distance between the two of you, so that you could easily separate from him if he ran into any of the other half-breeds. You were unsure how they would react to seeing him with a human, and you didn't want him to get into any more trouble than he already had.

Luckily, the walk through town was uneventful, and soon the two of you were standing in front of an incredibly tall, crumbling building. You looked up toward the top, squinting your eyes against the red haze of the sky. It was probably the tallest building in Gallica, aside from the Tower.

"Is this it?" You asked, hoping you didn't sound disappointed.

He nodded and stepped through the open doorway. You followed, and together you and Vartan climbed several flights of stairs. They were steep, and in such disrepair that you occasionally had to skip a step that looked unsafe. The walls were cracked and filthy, covered in long faded graffiti. There had been a handrail at one point, apparently, but it was mostly in broken pieces now.

After reaching the sixth floor, you grabbed his arm from behind, signaling him to wait. You sat down on the steps and panted. "Sorry, I need a little break."

He sat down beside you and watched you patiently. There wasn't so much as a drop of sweat on his face, and his breathing was completely even. "Take as long as you need," he told you.

"You half-breeds are pretty amazing. Do you ever get tired?"

"Sometimes," he replied, looking away from you.

"So what's at the top?" you asked, pointing toward the roof that looked so very far away.

"Nothing important. You will see."

You stared at him curiously, wondering what he wanted to show you. He met your gaze and you blinked. "Um, how many stairs do we have to climb?" you asked quickly.

He stood up. "I will carry you."

"What?"

"I will carry you the rest of the way. Stand up."

You got to your feet slowly and he turned his back to you, squatting slightly. You stared at his back, a wave of heat spreading through your face, under your skin. Your heart raced. It was such a silly thing, getting a piggyback ride from him, but you had never really touched him before. Not outside of sewing up his wound or helping him to a cot.

He looked at you over his shoulder. "Get on," he said flatly.

You carefully reached forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressed your body against his back, and lifted your knees until he took hold of them and stood up straight. You were immediately surprised by how effortless he made it seem. He didn't so much as grunt as he climbed the rest of the stairs with you on his back.

The whole way up, you couldn’t shake the bizarre feeling of familiarity. Like a phantom memory that was too hazy to remember clearly.

When he reached the door to the roof, he eased you back to your feet. You looked at the floor, red creeping into your cheeks. "Thanks," you said.

He gave no response as he opened the door and walked out onto the roof. You followed him to the ragged fence at the northern edge and stood beside him as he looked out over the city. Not too terribly far away, you could see the Tower, and at this height, you could make out more of its details than ever before.

As you had thought, the top of the tower was connected to the very center of the dome, like a support beam. What you didn't expect to see, however, was a large mechanical device protruding from the top of the tower. It resembled some kind of cannon pointing upwards, and a gazebo-like room surrounded it. You could barely make out a single half-breed standing near the device, like a soldier standing guard.

"What is that?" you asked.

Vartan followed your gaze to the device. "It is the machine that operates the dome."

"Well, I kinda guessed that. How does it work?"

"I'm not entirely sure," he responded. "I know that the Pagoda's technology powers it, and every three years we must recharge it."

"And why is it being guarded?"

"In the past, humans have tried to reach the machine and destroy it, believing they could escape the city if the dome was removed."

Your jaw dropped. "That's crazy! Everything's frozen outside! If they turned the dome off, we'd all die!"

"Yes, and that is why we guard it. Even we half-breeds could not survive for very long without the dome. I believe some humans think we are lying about the outside, to keep them from trying to escape."

You were quiet then. For the very first time, you understood why there might be a need for the half-breeds. Still, their ruthless behavior couldn't be overlooked. You glanced at Vartan, whose eyes were fixed on another section of the Tower, slightly lower down.

"Do you see those vehicles?" he asked you, pointing to an open floor a third of the way down the Tower. On it, you could see several things that you could only describe as misshapen cars with no wheels and far fewer windows. You nodded and he went on.

"Those are called Flyers by the half-breeds. They are capable of traveling through space. The Pagoda use them occasionally to visit the mother ship. Half-breeds are not allowed to touch them, but we do see them being flown from time to time."

You were listening intently. This was the most Vartan had said in the entire time you’d known him.

He paused to look at you, then turned his eyes back toward the Flyers. "I... often think about... climbing into a Flyer and leaving this world."

Your eyes widened. You watched Vartan's face as he continued to stare at the Flyers, and you saw a hint of longing there, a hint of despair. You didn't know what to say to him. You were terrified of saying the wrong thing, something that would make him regret sharing such a private thought with you.

He looked at you again, and there was still a shade of sadness in his usually unreadable eyes. "I do not know why I wanted to bring you here, but thank you for coming with me."

"I'm glad you brought me here," you said. "I'm glad I got to know a little more about you."

He looked mildly surprised. "You want to know about me?"

You felt the familiar blush heating up your face. "Well, yeah. You're living with me and all."

"I see," he said. "I will tell you anything you want to know."

"Anything?" you asked, somewhat skeptical. He nodded, and your mind flew into a frenzy as you tried to decide what you most wanted to know. A million questions popped into your head, and you struggled to quickly sort them out. Suddenly you remembered Nariah's story about her mother. "Do you know anything about your human parent?"

Vartan's face seemed to freeze instantly, and you winced, certain you had asked the wrong thing. He looked back toward the Tower. "My mother was human," he started, speaking slowly as if carefully choosing his words. "Half-breeds are kept away from their human parents, because the Pagoda do not want us to be influenced by our human sides. Most human parents are killed anyway."

You nodded, having already heard most of this from Nariah. You said nothing and waited, making it clear that you wanted him to go on.

"My mother was kept alive for several years after I was born. I have a younger brother. He lives in a different domed city, and I only see him every so often. It’s been two years since we last met. We share both a mother and a father, which is rare among us."

You continued to remain silent, eagerly waiting for more.

Vartan's eyes were still fixed on the Tower. "I did meet my mother, if that is what you want to know. On the day she was scheduled to be executed, she somehow escaped from her cell and ran through the Tower, searching for me. She found me by spotting my father walking into my room. When she reached me, she wrapped her arms around me and began crying. She said she had to see me at least once before dying."

You were struck by the difference in Vartan's tone compared to Nariah's. Something about his voice seemed calm, almost nostalgic, as he recounted the story.

He finally turned his face to you as he finished. "I do not know why, but my father did nothing to stop her as my mother held me. She whispered many things into my ear, telling me that I am human, that I should never forget my humanity, that this is my world too. My father only spoke when she asked him where my brother was. The Pagoda guards rushed in after that and pulled her away from me. They dragged her out of the room, to be executed. As she disappeared into the hall, she screamed to my father, 'Please take care of our child!' and they were the last words I heard from her."

You waited for a moment, to be sure he was done talking, before speaking. "It sounds like your mother was very brave."

Vartan nodded his head slightly. "I find my memory of her... comforting. That is strange, isn't it?" he asked you. "A human would be troubled by such a memory, of watching their mother be dragged away to death. A Pagoda would not feel anything at all. I feel I am... different."

It occurred to you that it was that brief meeting with his mother that made Vartan different. In those small moments in which his mother had held him in her arms, she had managed to awaken something in him - something human. "Maybe you find it comforting because it reminds you that you were loved," you told him gently. "Your mother must have loved you a lot, even before seeing you, to go to those lengths to meet you."

Vartan lowered his eyes. "I could not return her love. I didn’t know how. I never even spoke to her. I was motionless the whole time she was there."

"I'm sure she understood. She loved you, no matter what. She told your father to take care of you, right? Speaking of which, isn't it strange for your father to allow her to hold you?"

Vartan's expression changed slightly, from a flicker of sadness to a flicker of something like pride. "My father is strange among the Pagoda. He is often criticized by the others for being eccentric. There was a rumor among the half-breeds that my father is not one hundred percent pure Pagoda, that his distant ancestors had mated with another race. I do not know if this is true or not. There were also rumors that his relationship with my mother was viewed as inappropriate somehow."

You smiled, amused by the fact that Vartan seemed pleased with his "eccentric" father. Perhaps Vartan's human-like behavior was a result of his parents, both of whom seemed rather extraordinary themselves. "He sounds like the only Pagoda I'd ever want to meet," you said. "What do they look like, by the way?"

"They look much like half-breeds," Vartan said, "but they are taller, with longer arms and legs. Their eyes have many colors, all on each eye. They wear dark robes, and keep their hair very long."

You found yourself trying to picture Vartan's father, a tall man with long black hair and rainbow eyes. The image just looked silly, so you changed the subject. "There is one more thing I'd like to ask. Is that okay?"

"Yes," he answered, eyes on yours.

You tried to think of a way to word your question. You had been wondering for some time now about how many women Vartan had been with. As Terrian had said before, a half-breed with a willing human was rare, but you had difficulty imagining Vartan raping someone. Then again, you would have had trouble imagining him tearing a man's head off if you hadn't seen it first hand. You took a deep breath and looked him in the face. "Have you had sex with lots of women?"

He quickly looked away, as if embarrassed, and you dreaded his answer. He kept his eyes on the ground as he opened his mouth to speak. "No, not 'lots'. One."

"One?"

"I have been with one girl."

"Why only one?" you asked, the question popping out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. Half-breeds were known for their carnal exploits. They seemed to be far more hormonal than humans, and that was saying something.

He seemed highly uncomfortable with the topic, but he answered you anyway. "I did not find it to be a pleasant experience. The girl... was crying. I was very young, younger than her, but she probably thought I was older. The other half-breeds told me what to do, and I followed their directions. I did not know why she was crying. Just before it was over, I realized that she was crying because she did not want to..." He stopped talking there, unable to finish the sentence. He paused, then continued. "I did not enjoy it, doing such a thing to that crying girl, so I did not do it again."

You felt tears welling up in your eyes. Vartan had been just as much a victim as the girl, he'd been a child manipulated into doing something he would feel guilty over for the rest of his life. You reached out and placed a hand lightly on his arm. "You can't be blamed for that. You didn't know what you were doing."

He looked at your hand. "Is there anything else you would like to know?"

You reddened. "Um, have you ever thought about trying it with a human who wants to do it?”

He looked at your face. "I have experienced physical desire, yes. And I have wondered what it would be like, with a girl who is not crying."

Your face burned a little more as you asked the next question. "Have you felt any, uh, desire for me?"

He didn't hesitate. "Yes."

"Really? When?"

His voice was still mechanical. "When I woke up in the clinic and saw you in your underwear. When you looked straight at me in the alley and told me I owed you. When you came out of your room the morning after I came to your house. When I woke up that evening to find you standing over me."

You were shocked. All those times, he'd given no indication that he felt any attraction to you at all. He must have been holding himself back because of his past experience with sex. You couldn't resist smiling. You felt a surge of confidence. "If you thought I wanted to, would you want to be with me?"

He seemed surprised by the question, his eyebrows raising as he looked at her. "Yes."

That was all you needed to hear. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood on your toes, pressing your lips to his. He slowly lifted his hands and placed them on your back, carefully and gently, obviously unsure of the action. For several seconds, he remained rigid and still, to the point that you began to feel embarrassed. Then, as if he had simply been waiting to be certain you really did want this, he suddenly pressed himself against you, his hands moving over your body, his mouth hungry on yours. It was like a dam had broken, and all the desires and needs and aches came pouring out, washing over you.

Half-breeds were supremely hormonal creatures. Vartan, you discovered, wasn't quite as different from the others as you first thought.

He peeled off your clothes in a hurry, as if waiting even one moment to see your body was agony for him. When you were stripped bare, you stood before him, blushing and crossing one arm over your chest. You’d seen him naked before, so you knew. He was perfection, and you… you were human.

But when you worked up the nerve to look at his face, you found him staring at you with an expression of awe, a look you’d never seen a half breed wear before. “You’re beautiful,” he said, and the sincerity in his voice made you drop your arm to your side. He looked as if he wanted to take you immediately, but he stood rooted to the spot as he asked, “Can I touch you?”

You nodded, but then quickly held one hand up to signal for him to wait. “First, take your clothes off too.”

It was too embarrassing to be the only one naked.

“Okay,” he said, pulling off his uniform and leaving it in a neat pile on the cracked concrete. When he turned to face you, you were surprised to find him already hard. He was much bigger erect than he was when you saw him naked before, and seeing his arousal made your face flush with heat.

You’d never done anything like this before, so you were uncertain of how to proceed. Vartan’s experience was severely lacking, but his own desire seemed to be spurring him on. He stepped closer to you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling your naked body against his. Ahh, his skin felt so smooth and warm. His hands slid down your back, to your ass, where they squeezed lightly.

You tilted your face up and kissed him again as his hands roamed over you, aggressive yet gentle. You remembered a time when the thought of a half breed touching you was the most terrifying thing you could imagine. But Vartan’s touch was warm and careful.

He paused to get his long jacket from the pile of clothes and spread it out like a blanket. Then the two of you sank down onto it, him on top of you. He hovered over you for a moment, then said, “I’d like to try something I read in one of your books. Can I?”

Your mind raced to try to imagine what he read. Those books were full of ridiculously unrealistic sex scenes. But he seemed excited to try whatever it was, so you nodded.

He slid down, parting your legs before leaning forward and licking a stripe up your wet slit. You shivered, rising up on your elbows to look down at him in shock. From what you’d heard, half breeds were usually far too preoccupied with their own pleasure to put much effort into pleasing a human partner. Of course Vartan would be different.

His tongue slipped between your folds, and you don’t know if he intended it or not, but he licked right over your clit, making you gasp. He looked up at you then, his bi-colored eyes watching your face. “The book was right,” he said, “it is delicious.”

This made you blush furiously, instinctively covering your face with your hands as you muttered, “Oh my god.”

You heard Vartan’s voice, soft and uncertain. “I’m sorry, is this unpleasant for you? The woman in the book enjoyed it very much.”

Moving your hands, you looked down at him. “It feels really good. It’s just kind of embarrassing.”

He was looking back at you with concern. “Do you want me to continue?”

“Yes!” you said, a little too enthusiastically. He smiled, then went back to work pleasuring you with his mouth. You laid back, trying to relax despite your nerves being on fire. A gorgeous half breed was between your legs, gently licking your clit, acting as if you were bestowing some wonderful privilege upon him for allowing it. Oh god, it felt too good! Your legs quivered, your back arched, and your hands gripped fistfuls of his jacket beneath you.

You climaxed with a moan, your body trembling as he pulled back and watched you, enraptured by the sight of your orgasm. You panted to catch your breath, then he moved closer, pushing your legs up, bending them at the knees. You felt his tip brush against your entrance, and found him staring at your face, as if waiting for one more confirmation. Given his history, you understood. You smiled up at him and put your hands on his shoulders, pulling him closer.

When he finally pushed into you, it was a slow and careful motion. He didn’t want to hurt you, but your own desire was reaching its peak. You wanted him all the way inside you, and you wanted it now. You bucked your hips against him, urging him to go deeper, faster. You wanted to feel every inch of him.

And he complied, thrusting in, over and over, his breaths hitching in his throat and his eyes sliding closed. You moaned and twitched beneath him, your arms around his neck, trying to pull him even closer.

His cock pulsed inside you, throbbing with pleasure, hitting a spot deep within you that had you gasping. His face hovered above yours, and he looked so beautiful, like angel.

When you came again, clutching him ever tighter, he buried his face in your neck, kissing your throat as his own climax hit. You felt his seed shoot deep into your core, and you felt content. At that moment, the Pagoda, Gallica, the entire world dissolved into the distance. For you, all that existed were you, Vartan, and the red sky looming over your heads.

Tag List:

@scrumptiouslampwobblercop

#alien x reader #alien x human #alien x you #x reader #original fiction #original x reader #reader insert #x reader smut #scifi x reader

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tadpolesonalgae · 2 months ago

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Hi hi! Im usually a lurker (first time sending anything in actually) I couldn’t help myself this time though and just really needed to say you are one of my favourite writers! Went from binging cbmthy to binging everything else. Thank you for sharing all the amazing writing🙇🙇 I hope you’re taking care of yourself!!💝🌸

…Moving forward…I’m sorry for my ramblings🫠 there’s just so much to talk and love about your stories

Ngl the first line of chapter 22 already made my heart ache🫠 just cause i felt it so deeply that reader almost routinely wants to talk to Bas. The thought of someone being such a big part of your life and just being gone one day over a terrible situation (whether it’s a good or bad thing that they’re gone), atp it’s so built into your routine that you can’t help but check on them or think of them even when you shouldn’t.

Idek how to feel about her sisters constantly wanting to buy things for her room. Cause I understand her sisters wanting to make her room feel more cozy again, and wanting to make her happy with the time she has left AND most importantly, conveying that it isn’t a “waste” to buy her things. BUT I ALSO UNDERSTAND READER’S MENTALITY AND I WILL ADMIT IVE GOTTEN FRUSTRATED IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS. Genuinely it does not feel good when you feel like you’re wasting other people’s money or time

Now Az…man Az…I’m probably in the minority of rooting for him even when the worst interactions happened between them (I say it’s cause I have massive faith in your writing ability to make their relationship come together☝️✨) BUT WJDJJWD I was almost thinking “just what is it that he wants??” Cause first, he’s the one who keeps seeking reader out now(? 2-3 times isn’t that many but I digress) while also flashing from decently warm (decently is important here) to extremely cold or indifferent.

“You kissed me back” EXCUSE ME? WHAT? LIKE- OKAY??? AND?? YOU DIDNT HAVE TO INITIATE IT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW SHES SO DOWN BAD(???)

Okok and now the part I’m slightly confused about right? Now it’s very clear that reader isn’t the most emotionally stable and she is very very deadset on the belief that they hate her. So it wouldn’t surprise me if she took Az’s reaction wrong. What may look like ‘a horrible secret being revealed’, could actually be Az just- almost not knowing what to say to make things better? Or just…not knowing how to handle this? The line I’m questioning is “Azriel doesn’t care if she hit the nail on the head” how I took it is that what she said wasn’t necessarily correct but it doesn’t matter cause Az doesn’t want her to think he reciprocates but he also doesn’t want to reveal a “part of himself��👁️👁️ CURIOUS, VERY CURIOUS. And so he opted to be cold so she would hate him which I almost think that’s cause of his own deep rooted fears and hatred for himself (especially cause of the ‘if she thinks she’s in love with him, she should know how awful he is’ line). And that’s the part he doesn’t wanna expose to her (MAYBE??) as well as he actually probably pays way more attention to her than she thinks (Mr. I-know-you-have-a-small-scar-from-the-arrow)

Anyway that’s my rambling, please let me know if I misunderstood some of the text with Az!! THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL, HEART WRENCHING CHAPTER, EXCITED ABOUT THIS PRISON BREAK SITUATION💝💝

‘Hi hi! Im usually a lurker (first time sending anything in actually)’

Ahhh hello!! Very happy to have you here (whether you’re lurking or chatting in 🧡💛)!

‘just really needed to say you are one of my favourite writers! Went from binging cbmthy to binging everything else.’

Really?? ☹️🫂🫂 I’m so happy you liked cbmthy enough to explore further! I hope none of it was too jarring to read—I imagine hopping from angsty cbmthy to smut riddled basically-everything-else might be a bit surprising at first 😭

Please do not worry about rambling, I love love love hearing from people and chatting!! 🧡💛 (I also find it very helpful too—anyone who’s been here since the beginning of cbmthy will be able to confirm I relied—and still do kind of—a lot on feedback to help me measure angst levels and steer the story progression 🫣)

‘Ngl the first line of chapter 22 already made my heart ache🫠 just cause i felt it so deeply that reader almost routinely wants to talk to Bas.’

Yes! And it’s not like anyone other than Mor might have any reason to go to the Winter Court so it’s like he’ll be completely out of reach once he’s gone!

Though while I think it will be painful for reader to lose him like that—in the way that he won’t be completely gone, but just far enough she can’t reach him—it might push her to venture further in attempts to find a way to get another third space for herself (or I guess technically second space, since she’s only really in the River House now with her sisters and the IC)? I think that might be exciting to see?

What you said about doing things out of habit though, expecting someone to be there once they’re not…do you think anyone might spot a single empty chair and pause? Or pass a pair of gloves and remember sensitivity in their fingertips? After six months has passed, I mean

‘Idek how to feel about her sisters constantly wanting to buy things for her room.’

Yes, even though Rhys is probably horrifically wealthy, and even if that wealth is extended to Feyre and her sisters, I don’t imagine reader would ever really feel like it was hers. Or that she’d earned it.

If reader could accept that offering I think things could be very happy though. Imagine having an entire space designed specifically you? With the colours you like, evidence of hobbies scattered around? A safe place to be?

Also being on the other end of reader’s illness, I think it would be natural to want to make someone’s life as happy and as comfortable as possible if you knew it was coming to the end. It’s just unfortunate there’s still that small barrier between them :/

‘Now Az…man Az…I’m probably in the minority of rooting for him even when the worst interactions happened between them’

Yes! Yes! Finally! I’ll shower you in metaphorical flowers!! Thank you!! I promise it’ll get better, just stick with me and everything will be fine!!

‘Cause first, he’s the one who keeps seeking reader out now’

I think it’s very funny that they keep meeting, and trying to have a normal conversation and just,,,failing,,,consistently 🤭

‘“You kissed me back” EXCUSE ME? WHAT? LIKE- OKAY??? AND?? YOU DIDNT HAVE TO INITIATE IT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW SHES SO DOWN BAD(???)’

I adore that I could practically hear the indignant splutter through the screen 😭🧡💛

To be fair, in that moment Azriel thought that reader was accusing him of sexually taking advantage of her which is why he opposed her in a way that was kind of embarrassing for her, when reader was actually talking about Azriel using her to get a read on Elain (which yay, reader’s keeping that in mind now!!)

‘So it wouldn’t surprise me if she took Az’s reaction wrong.’

👀? To be fair, if she’s convinced herself that everyone hates her, I imagine convincing herself that Azriel might try to kill her out of revulsion wouldn’t be a tricky task 😭

‘The line I’m questioning is “Azriel doesn’t care if she hit the nail on the head” how I took it is that what she said wasn’t necessarily correct but it doesn’t matter cause Az doesn’t want her to think he reciprocates but he also doesn’t want to reveal a “part of himself”👁️👁️ CURIOUS, VERY CURIOUS.’

So I’m actually very curious to see how people interpreted this part because I think it’s the closest we’ve gotten so far to understanding an element of Azriel’s cold behaviour towards Reader?

I’m not going to elaborate on this part because it will be expanded upon later in the series and I don’t want to spoil anything, but yeah. It was fun to write those two paragraphs from Az’s perspective 🥲

‘as well as he actually probably pays way more attention to her than she thinks (Mr. I-know-you-have-a-small-scar-from-the-arrow)’

I want to say I ADORED that scene and I think reader was probably frozen from awe too. I mean, we know how flustered she gets from holding a conversation with him alone, not to mention when close proximity is added since Reader was obviously raised human, and time alone with a man + TOUCHING??? = Marriage. Horse and carriage. COURTING. (I’m being hyperbolic 😶)

Since I think that’s how reader’s been raised to view those things, I imagine she attributes much more meaning to them than any of the born-fae do, hence all the flushing and embarrassment and elevated heart rates 🤭

(That’s not to say that Azriel was flirting with her. More that they have different perspectives on how to display intimacy—also will be elaborated on—and while reader knows Azriel doesn’t mean those things in the way she understands them, that doesn’t remove their significance for her which makes her feelings much more difficult to temper :) )

Like him touching the spot atop her heart?? Much more intimate than a one night stand where it would only be physical nakedness 😭

‘Anyway that’s my rambling, please let me know if I misunderstood some of the text with Az!! THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL, HEART WRENCHING CHAPTER, EXCITED ABOUT THIS PRISON BREAK SITUATION💝💝’

I loved reading you ramble and I’m so flattered you had so much to say about it!! Obviously I enjoy cbmthy since it takes up quite a lot of my time, so getting to hear people like yourself who’ve decided to read all the parts and then further decided to take some time to type messages out into my inbox? 🧡💛🫂🫂🫂

I love it, so much, so thank you for reading and enjoying!! I hope it continues to be a fun adventure! ☹️🫂

#anons <3 #cbmthy #kicking my feet and twirling my hair

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simslegacy5083 · 3 months ago

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Not So Berry (Straud Descendants) Gen 9

Today's (8/28/2024) Episode: On Her Shoulders

Luigi’s reputation was critical to maintain his endorsement deals, buzz for his game, and of course his actual e-sports career, so he took it seriously.

One easy way to make others see him as a “good sim” was regular donations to charity.

He found worthy causes to associate his name with, such as Tess’s ex-boyfriend Julio’s “happiness for all” campaign and the Tomorang Renters Fund, which temporarily paid the rent for sims who were down on their luck so they wouldn’t get evicted and wind up homeless.

Luigi’s enterprising efforts were only possible by the grace of his rock-solid support system.

Now that it was her full-time job, Noemi had taken over the lion’s share of management and development for Project Daisy, in addition to being Skye’s primary caregiver. She’d never been the best at dealing with strangers, and lately organizing their staff of artists and programmers was wearing through her patience faster than it ever had before. It was a trial she could only bear by assigning herself chunks of relaxing code work between meetings.

The freedom to pick her own timelines and teammates was undeniably the part of being “lead programmer” that got her through all the rest, but her strange irritability remained a worrying mystery. Fortunately, at her annual GYN checkup, her doctor put her mind at ease with a simple explanation.

Noemi was officially going through “the change” and her issues were just temporary side effects of her body and mind adjusting to the perfectly normal and expected changes of leaving her child-bearing years (and hormones) behind.

Noemi was honestly relieved by her advancing age. She had never feared the idea of growing older and she and Luigi had long ago decided they were “one and done” in the kid department. If anything, saying goodbye to worries about a second unplanned pregnancy was a big win!

Her doctor warned her about other unpleasant symptoms that might pop up, but she was hardly listening as she gleefully composed emails pushing her most annoying issues back to Luigi.

“These hot flashes make me way too sweaty during the all-hands standup meeting. I’m going to need you to take those over.” … “Susan’s being a plumhole about revising the walk animations. Talk her around before I shiv her. Mood swings, you know.”

By the next time both sims had a day off, Noemi was feeling much more like herself, and they made some time to visit family.

Luigi and the relatives he was closest to had mostly ended up childless or with small families, but Chance and Bianca’s daughter Fern wanted a full house. When her third little one was born, she invited his family over to meet the new addition and hang out with the rest of her crew.

While the energetic Skye played outside with Fern’s doggie and the other kids, Luigi and Noemi headed in to say hello to little Alice. Noemi and Luigi had a great time holding the adorable tiny newborn and an even better time handing it back for a diaper change with big smiles. No more for them!

Even their next stop, seeing relatives at the wake for Denton’s mother Nikita, put no significant damper on Noemi’s improved mood.

She was, of course, sad for her friend’s loss, but the quiet atmosphere, surrounded by sims she knew well as her husband mixed drinks behind the bar, was as close to her ideal evening as was possible without a sturdy set of padded handcuffs.

She’d felt lonely and misunderstood as Kiana’s “too young” wife, but loving Luigi had brought her right into the heart of his warm family circle.

As Denton wept on her shoulder, she reflected on how happy she was to have given this strange family a second chance.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

#sims 4 #sims 4 challenge #sims 4 legacy #sims4 #sims 4 nsb #sims 4 not so berry #sims4nsbstraud #sims 4 let's play #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 lets play

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b3achysurfur · 1 year ago

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I know I originally said in a comment at some point about how annoying the Logan war got (think it was in that post asking why we all suddenly backed off) but now I just find your posts humoring it's like "THIS LITTLE GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT-" and it's the most innocent picture of Logan.

Love seeing it nowadays (cuz it's funny), but you have a good point that he hasn't furthered the story yet but I feel like Red might change that soon. Hopefully. Also how we haven't had his backstory but that also might change too (we've got a hint in one episode where they fought his bullies, something about how his parents didn't want him and he fact that we've only seen his grandparents but not his actual parents says something....)

Anyways something I need to ask you! What are your opinions on the others, what you like about them or dislike, favorite moments and what not. I'm curious!

Sorry this may have been long!

SEE NOW YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MY HUMOR , THIS ACTUALLY MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! THANK UUUUU A LOT

also UR SO GREAT FOR THE QUESTION YOU ASKED!! I love talking about everyone else

I’ll assess them in order of: ashlyn, aiden, taylor, tyler, ben (not by order of how much I like them or anything btw). Some sections are longer than others because I’m bias BUT ALSO BECAUSE I got tired of typing and realized there was wayyy tm to read. Sorry!!!! if you don’t wanna read all this I put a short summary all the way on the bottom + feel free to me ask me specific questions ! now let me talk your ear off

ASHLYN:

I really like ashlyn because she has the most potential out of everyone (and that’s not to say the other characters aren’t deep, because that’s the opposite of true but bae is the whole reason we’re here). I think she’s also really relatable in the sense that she doesn’t like interacting with people but she can easily take the leadership role when needed. like okay queen I see you. also I really enjoy the fact Red made her dislike aiden at first even though they have a side romance plot going rn. bc that’s how it would’ve been if they were real. ash would not just become chatty out of no where and fall head over heels for him. and I really appreciate the slowburn. Ashlyn’s also higher on my favorites list because I’m bias and we have the same hair length 😣 usually when characters have long hair, authors tend to let their hair flow a lot, but red put ts in braids 🙏 and ask anyone with long hair like that, their hair is up 99% of the time bc it’s annoying, hot, and (personally) GRABS ONTO EVERYTHING LIKE ITS A THIRD HAND. I have a lot of headcannons for ash just based on small character designs / aspects that not a lot of people really think about. She’s so interesting and I really just love her. And since I have positives, I’ll give one negative about her. In the beginning, Ashlyn was really hesitant to tell the group anything. I understand where she was coming from, and given Tyler’s reaction, I don’t blame her for keeping things to herself. But mannnn ts was so frustrating sometimes. it’s ok tho bc all good stories stress you out.

AIDEN:

omg guys it’s my favorite ever. I know aidens really popular already so I’ll try not to rant on about him forever but hes just the best 😣 but mans really does not gaf EVERR.

now I could rant on and on about how silly Aiden is and why he’s so misunderstood as a character, because he’s not crazy like at all and if anything he’s one of the smartest characters in sbg, but I’ll save if for a better time. Instead I wanna talk about how observant he is of Ben and ashlyn.

it’s cropping weridly, sorry. but aiden’s eyes are always watching the ones he cares about most. I feel like this has to do with the fact Ben cannot voice his concerns/opinions so aiden always has to glance at him to make sure he’s not missing any important signal. But I also think it has to do with his childhood (I don’t have fast pass or anything this is just based off of theories/analysis based on his character bc I do that a lot 🤒). Anyways, he has a specific way of comforting people that I think it’s rlly niche. He uses his hands and gets the person what he thinks they need. Like in the attached images he gets ashlyn fabric to squeeze and distracts her with light conversation, and he immediately offers to take a walk with Ben and get some fresh air. If a person refuses or asks him for space, he immediately obeys and doesn’t question their decision. He’s very trusting and understanding. He gives people room to make mistakes and gives them room to ask for help. I’m mainly bringing this up because it ties back to something I’m gonna talk about in Taylor’s section. I just think that this detail is so important to his character and we always brush over it. I don’t wanna say he doesn’t like physical touch, bc he’s always touching everything around him, but I like to think his main love language is acts of service. When you really look at it, his actions speak a lot louder than his bickering and it really helps display how much each character means to him individually. what elseee. He’s able to quickly adjust and assess situations (like when he attacked the phantom or pulled up ashlyn in the bus). He’s very quick to his feet and always needs to be interacting with something to keep his hands busy. Aiden just really don’t gaf 99% of the time (unless it’s Ben / ashlyn) and honestly that’s why I like him. He doesn’t take anything seriously or personally. clap it up for my hb. Also I notice the sbg fandom has a habit of doing it with everyone, but I feel like Aiden is always reduced to his impulsive behaviors and ‘crazy kid’ persona. please guys. look deeper into Aiden Clark. Instead of wasting your energy trying to defend a NERDY FREAK like Logan fields, you should study more on Aiden Clark and his complex character.

yes. do that. rn. You want to so badly. I know you do. Do it. Go reread sbg and focus on Aiden. wowwww. I know you want to. (I’m hypnotizing you btw) Or just ask me I can talk about Aiden (or really any character) alll day long. Ask me anything about anyone and I’ll tell you what I think with proof and evidence. yes. I just need to cut it short because I have to talk about everyone else to. But study Aiden Clark. do it. really. really. Right now. Go. Go. Now. PLUS Aiden’s probably the least likely to die because he’s to cool for that + he’s better than death and injury. YAAA!!! MAKE AIDEN CLARK UR FAV BC YOULL BE SAFE FROM ANGST 🎉

only thing I don’t like about Aiden gotta be his fashion sense sometimes (usually beginning S1). like WHAT R U WEARING MAN???? 🙁

TAYLOR:

okay now let me talk about my shnukums Taylor. I love her a lot but her and Tyler had very different childhoods regardless of the fact they were in the same situation.

We don’t know a lot about Taylor’s version of growing up, so a lot of the details are vague but everything I say is based off of observations and analyses I have personally made, so please take everything I say about Taylor’s backstory with a grain of salt and understand that no matter what, both twins were majorly affected by the passing of their father and illness of their mother.

At first i thought of Taylor was the more lucky one out of Tyler and Taylor when it came to their childhood. Yes she struggled, I knew that, but Tyler was under a lot of stress. But that’s when I realized that she suffered just as much. Although she didn’t need to sacrifice herself to help her family survive, like Tyler did, she went though the most loss. She lost her mother, father, and brother all overnight. One second they were all happy together and the next she was all alone. Physically, her mother and brother were still there, but they were both shells. Her mother isolated by grief and her brother isolated by responsibility. She was all alone. Yes Tyler did his best to support her, but at the end of the day, there wasn’t much he could do to change the situation. Taylor suffered a lot, and since people mostly focus on Tyler, we never really see Taylor’s POV of it all.

Now her backstory leads me into the fact Taylor is the most socially smart character in sbg. She is also the most observant and supportive. This is not to say others aren’t observant/supportive, like Aiden for an example, but she does it much differently. I would attach a picture here but I’m close to maxing out the photo limit and I want to save it for later.

Taylor is very good at reading the emotions of other characters. She is also very observant. Taylor is often the first to notice when a charater is uncomfortable, panicked, or harmed. For an example, she’s the first to notice Ashlyn’s fear back at the house. Unlike Aiden, Taylor is able to verbally let people know she is there for them. She comforts them through words and physical affection. Taylor is usually aware of how much support someone is in need of and the best way to display it for them specifically. For an example when Logan was getting bullied, she defended him against Tyler’s mean words and held his shoulder for reassurance. This same tactic would not work for ashlyn, and Taylor is aware of that. So, when ashlyn broke down about the struggles of being leader, Taylor comforted her through words and reassured her fears. Taylor opened up a space for ashlyn to be scared and share her burden. She was able to do all of this in only a couple of moments. This skills also becomes a werid quirk when she is able to sense Tyler’s condition in the hospital, but maybe that was just twin senses? 🤷‍♀️ idk

Taylor is also very aware of everyone around her. We know that she is very social and has a lot of friends and connections, but she also educates herself on the people she doesn’t interact with. Even if she doesn’t know a lot, she makes sure to acknowledge their presence at the very least.

What does her ability to read emotion have to do with her childhood? Well, Taylor basically lived with a shell of a family. Tyler was under constant stress, which made him prone to outbursts. Her mother was disabled by grief. Taylor was in a situation that made her feel like she had to take care of her family mentally. It was, to her, the least she could do. So, she was mentally mature from a very young age. Although having to hold the burdens of others constantly is very unhealthy, I’m not sure if she’ll crack because of it.

Taylor being very social and having a lot of friends is also another example of how she’s different from Tyler and how their shared childhood affected them differently. Tyler saw people as distractions while Taylor sees them as her means to keep living. Taylor lives off of other peoples energy, and she maintains the energy of other people by being a supportive beam for them. This is also why I’m okay with Taylor being shipped with others. She’s use to being around people and can form close bonds with others while still only viewing them as friends. Tyler cannot do the same. Taylor is in a position where she can expand her horizons into romantic relations if she was interested in doing so. That’s why I feel as though it’s okay (if that doesn’t make sense I’ll explain it again, but I tried to condense it down)

Something I don’t like about Taylor is that we haven’t gotten to see her brain in action yet. We know she’s the president of the robotics club , but we haven’t had the chance to see her charater support the story in any other way but socially and mentally. The story is only at 60 episodes though, and I’m sure we will see it eventually. Im just impatient and want to see women in STEM shine 😣😣 I wish I could talk about her more, but we barely know anything about Taylor as of right now. I will say it’s interesting how she told her and Tyler’s backstory, but only talked about how Tyler was affected and not herself. Interesting… I hope we learn more about her experiences and I hope I’m right 🙏 also CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE HOW PRETTY SHE IS??? UGHH I LOVE HER SMM

TYLER:

I feel like Tyler has been the topic of discussion for the past couple of months because his backstory was revealed and the end of S1 / beginning of S2 was all about him and his past, so I don’t have a lot to say that I haven’t already said. but I do really like Tyler. At first when he was in his jock era I was very , oh! about him. but he’s actually warmed up to me sooooo much since then. he’s so goofy I just want more interactions between him and Aiden. I think I good place to start is how much I HATE people shipping him with other members of the main cast. I talked about it a little in Taylor’s section, but him and Taylor had very different childhoods. Again, I’m not saying their father’s death and mother’s illness was not hard on the both of them, but Tyler was under a lot of pressure too. We know he isolated himself harshly, and stopped having fun all together. The way I look at it, everything, including living day-to-day, became a chore for Tyler. Ever since he was a little kid. His dad’s death changed his entire world overnight. He had to learn how to physically and mentally support everyone important to him, because if he couldn’t no one else would. Tyler had to learn everything about living life by himself as a baby just so everyone else could survive. He stopped having fun. Little kids find fun in everything. Tyler stopped himself from finding it. He didn’t do anything for himself anymore. He was almost like a empty shell doing automatic tasks so that his sister and mother could have space to grow, heal, and live. In a sense, it was self sacrifice (which he attempts again when he tells the group to leave him behind)

So when Taylor tells us that the main cast started to become an extension of the family he sacrificed himself for, it’s so heavy on his character. Especially because for once in a long time he started relating his ‘family’ back to joy and fun, not just safety and survival. That’s why it bothers me when people ship him with others. It’s so werid to imply he’d date any of the main cast when he sees them as his family. consider them blood-siblings if you gotta, but just stop shipping them. PLEAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEE. otherwise I’ll eat your dog. thanks! also him being friends with the main cast at all is such a huge step for him. I don’t think Tyler has time to get involved with romantic relationships when he believes friends are a distraction. I know a lot of people go to romance when they want to express how strong a connection is between two characters, but you guys are forgetting that Tyler considering everyone as his friends is sooooo much more complex and deep compared to (for an example) Logan saying he considers everyone his friend. ANYWAYS ENOUGHHH!!! let’s move on.

I also wanna talk about this scene (I was to lazy to go find the original scene so the flashback is all you get). I never really realized how much ashlyn ordering Tyler around must’ve affected him. He literally spent his whole life making decisions and taking leadership and all of a sudden some random lil girl is over here telling him to stfu and sit his ass down. I would imagine as mad as he was, he probably felt a least a bit of relief. For once the responsibility wasn’t on him, at least not only on him. He could share his burden with others, and he wasn’t suffocated by being responsible for the lives of everyone else. We see this same struggle affect ashlyn, as she feels like being leader strangles her with the weight of guilt, paranoia, and responsibility. Imagine if Tyler had been the one to bare that weight after everything he’s already been through? he would’ve cracked, whether we like it or not. so let’s clap it up for ashlyn rq!!! yasss girl 😋 I know I’m rambling a lot about tyler but I know a lot about him and want to talkkk 😣 but here is my last point: Tyler’s coping mechanism to the unknown and things that confuse him is denial. Just like his mother 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

woww! do you guys remember when Tyler thought this whole thing was a joke? me too! he would’ve never thought this silly prank would almost kill him. Tyler’s mom probably thought her husband’s illness wouldn’t kill him either. oops! 😂 (I’m going kms). sorry. my point is they both refused to believe it happened (although his mom’s denial may have been more of a trauma response while his was just to help him cope). Even with evidence, they both couldn’t understand what had happened to them and pretending nothing was wrong. Tyler saw the picture of the phantom’s shadow and brushed it off to technology he couldn’t understand yet. he felt more comfortable with not knowing how technology worked rather than not knowing if he was in danger. his mother is similar. She couldn’t understand and cope with the death of her husband, even though he died in front of her. She felt more comfortable not understanding why he was late from work than understanding he was dead and gone. Guess it runs in the family? 🤷‍♀️ and since these are all things I like about his character, I will tell you what I don’t like. THAT STUPID ASS JOCK ATTUIDE FROM S1. okay I didn’t hate it, and it fit him sometimes, and I kinda miss it sometimes, but he’s like 5’5 and a stick, he is not beating no one’s ass 😭 respectfully. now he could probably rock me but he’s matured a bit since S1 so it’s different. Tyler’s not even my favorite idk why I talked about him sm , especially when I held off on talking about Aiden because I didn’t want to say to much 🤦‍♀️ whatever

BEN:

I have a lot to say about Benny boy, especially because he is SOOOOOO mischaraterized. Now I won’t go crazy like I did for the twins because I’m thinking about making a separate post just about Ben (maybe.. maybe not idk). plus I just reminded myself anon asked me to just say a few things I like and disliked about each charater not give crazy long paragraph about them. so, sorry Ben but you will probably have the most boring paragraph of them all. I still love you a lot pookie 🙏 I’m just tired AND MAXED OUT THE AMOUNT OF PICS I CAN USE EVEN THO I NEED TO TALK ABOUT U WHILE USING PICS 🤒 anyways enough rambling.

bens charater is often reduced to his backstory which genuinely makes me want to start tweaking out. if you expand on why his trauma affects him, then I will happily listen to you talk. But when most the fandom sees Ben as “music boy who hate bully, will fight you if you be mean” it makes me so SAAAADDDDD. no, Ben will NOT beat my ass for making fun of Logan. That’s like… the whole point of his backstory? He doesn’t like violence, at all. He’s ashamed of his anger issues. He blames himself for having to move and putting his family in danger. The only reason he got involved with Logan’s fight was because the phantom interference + no one was there to help calm him down.

also he doesn’t only do music. he draws too! he’s a very artistic dude. He also gardens. Ben be planting food and shit. which (as much as I HATE the ship) Logan n Ben shippers could probably use to their advantage. Yk bc Ben gardens and Logan helps his grandparents in their greenhouse? wtv. Bens prob growing flowers for Taylor anyways. Fuck Logan. sorry.

Ben is also very compassionate and gentle. He’s always thinking about what’s best for the group, even if it puts him in an uncomfortable position, like sharing his trauma. Ben is also very soft hearted. He gets flustered very easily, we see this when ashlyn and Taylor complimented him. He is very protective over those he cares about and he does not come to play, ever. Also his character development from S1 makes me so happy. He use to be attached to Aiden’s hip 24/7 and we could often only understand his emotions when Aiden would translate him to us. But we’ve seen lately that he’s much closer to Taylor, even putting her safety before his own.

wow, gentleman alert❗️if I didn’t run out of photo space than I would’ve shown more examples where he holds onto others as a way to comfort or protect them. he’s so respectful I might cry. maybe I will make a Ben-centered post. I need to show you guys pictures so you can understand what I’m saying. But Ben is growing and he needs more attention. thank you.

SUMMARY:

Ashlyn

pros:

- has crazy potential + most hinted at lore

- very relateable

-introverted but stands on business

-W relationship development between her and the cast, very natural and not forced

- her hair

cons:

- she is very hesitant to spill info (only in earlier chaps tho!)

Aiden

pros:

- silly

- observant of those he cares about

- acts of service love language

- trusting/understanding

- quick on his feet

- good at assessing situations/making plans

- he doesn’t GAF 🦅🦅 EVAAA

cons:

- often misunderstood / mischaraterized by the fandom

- has ugly ass outfits sometimes

Taylor

pros:

- most socially smart character in sbg

- good at reading emotions

- good at comforting others

- aware of her surroundings/the people around her

- supportive

- social

- super pretty

- wrote a paragraph on why it’s ok to ship her with the rest of the cast js cuz

cons:

- we don’t see enough of her robotics president side, show me women in STEM 🤬

- we never saw how she experienced childhood (yet..)

Tyler

pros:

- deep childhood trauma/responsibility

- sacrificed himself for his family twice

- not meant to be shipped with anyone in main cast

- sees main cast as family

- he finally made friends

- talked about the scene where ash tells him to shut his bitchass up

- copes by using denial (js like his mom)

cons:

- his jock attitude during S1

Ben

pros:

- hates violence

- angery at his anger issues

- ashamed of his past

- draws and gardens as hobbies

- compassionate and gentle

- soft hearted

- easily flustered

- very protective

- slow but steady quiet charater development

- a gentleman

cons:

- you guys mischaraterize him a lot (like someone told me he doesn’t change as a character bc he never speaks, ts made me mad asf)

THATS ALL! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! again feel free to as me questions about anything at all even if you didn’t read allat. And if you did, thank you ur so sweet and amazing. Sorry for writing sm 😢

also everyone is open to their own opinions, this is just what I think. As always, I’m always down to debate.

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emptymanuscript · 6 days ago

Text

Alright :/

What do I need to do?

Let's talk negatives since I tend to think in negatives.

I need to not end up in the mental hospital again.

I need to not self sabotage.

I need to not doomscroll.

I need to not retreat into oblivion.

I need to disarm my alarm system. Actually, yeah, that. All of my negatives are my alarm system shrieking and me trying to respond to it.

Number two (though they aren't really in much of any order) on my top recommended reading list is Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. It's a great book. I think not merely for creative writing but also just has good life advice all around.

The titular advice, take the undoable, in the story an assignment to bird watch over an entire summer, procrastinated to the very end when it is essentially impossible, and just concentrate on doing what you can do, bird by bird, one mechanical step at a time. is perfect for these sorts of moments. Dealing with everything is not possible right now. It probably never is. So, ground. Look at what you need NOW. One step. That's it. Just one. One Bird on the list and don't worry about the rest until you've done that bird. All the other birds are a problem for future you. All you have to do is take ONE bird off future you's plate. Give the rest of the tasks to them, later.

For me, though, the best advice in it is her discussion of Radio Station K-FKD (That's pronounced by the letters in polite company and K-fucked the rest of the time).

If you are not careful, station KFKD will play in your head twenty-four hours a day, nonstop, in stereo. Out of the right speaker in your inner ear will come the endless stream of self-aggrandizement, the recitation of one’s specialness, of how much more open and gifted and brilliant and knowing and misunderstood and humble one is. Out of the left speaker will be the rap songs of self-loathing, the lists of all the things one doesn’t do well, of all the mistakes one has made today and over an entire lifetime, the doubt, the assertion that everything that one touches turns to shit, that one doesn’t do relationships well, that one is in every way a fraud, incapable of selfless love, that one has no talent or insight, and on and on and on. You might as well have heavy-metal music piped in through headphones while you’re trying to get your work done. You have to get things quiet in your head so you can hear your characters and let them guide your story. The best way to get quiet, other than the combination of extensive therapy, Prozac, and a lobotomy, is first to notice that the station is on. KFKD is on every single morning when I sit down at my desk. So I sit for a moment and then say a small prayer—please help me get out of the way so I can write what wants to be written. Sometimes ritual quiets the racket. Try it. Any number of things may work for you—an altar, for instance, or votive candles, sage smudges, small-animal sacrifices, especially now that the Supreme Court has legalized them. (I cut out the headline the day this news came out and taped it above the kitty’s water dish.) Rituals are a good signal to your unconscious that it is time to kick in. You might also consider trying to breathe. This is not something that I remember to do very often, and I do not normally like to hang around people who talk about slow conscious breathing; I start to worry that a nice long discussion of aromatherapy is right around the corner. But these slow conscious breathers are on to something, because if you try to follow your breath for a while, it will ground you in relative silence.

Lamott, Anne. Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (pp. 108-109). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

This is definitely not merely for writing.

K-FKD plays about everything.

How awful the world is. How superior WE are as opposed to THEM. Etc. How lethal and cruel and fascist certain very powerful groups are and how they are coming for us. Etc. Politics. Culture wars. Illness. Poverty. ALL OF IT.

Note that neither Lamott nor I are stating that Radio Station K-FKD is lying to you. Your brain is down right amazing at finding facts to support the noise it blares at you. In one of the last conversations I had with my cousin before he died, when he was extremely aware that this particular vacation was going to be his last, he talked about simply clearing his plate. Yes, he was going to die. Soon. Everyone knew it. He had had lots of plans and things to do and... and... and.... And simply dealing with all that, just the thoughts of it, were too much. He had to simply clear his plate. He only had time and energy to live. That was it. So he was simply there. He was happy to talk to his family. He was happy he was at the beach. He was happy the food was good. He was happy he had shade to keep him cool. He was happy the drugs were managing his pain pretty well at the moment. He was happy that it wasn't a surprise and he got to say goodbye - so that's what he did and it is all of what he did. He had emptied his plate to the bare essentials. Here, now, this is what I want, everything else is for later. That he was going to die was a plain and simple fact. It was true. He still had to turn K-FKD off to simply live while he could. Because letting it thunder in your head, non-stop, forever isn't living.

On the other hand, one of the things that definitely came up was that he was able to handle his death as gracefully as he did because it wasn't his first cancer bout. He had faced death before. He had dealt with all that it brings. Including mourning his health, vitality, and future. You can't turn K-FKD off by refusing to acknowledge the truth or saying that facts are lies. That actually turns the volume up. Sometimes the very thing you need to do to get the radio to turn down is to tune in and focus on it. These are the facts. This is true. This SUCKS. Let it play in both ears and just feel it. Let the brain do its work and mourn the horrors that are overwhelming you. Treat it like a song stuck in your head. You want it out, then you have to turn it on and let it play to the bitter end, uninterrupted. It's the full attention to the full run of it that lets your brain move on in the moment. So, when shit happens, if you want K-FKD to stop torturing you, you do have to mourn and do all that sucky psycho-bullshit-healing-feeling-pain. You have to tune into that track. Otherwise K-FKD will force you to listen to snippets on its own schedule FOREVER. Or at least until you do what is needed. And, unfortunately, the longer you let it play the K-FKD way, the harder it is to get to stop playing because our brains get used to the soundtrack. It grooves into the brain like a constant trickle of water carving out a canyon. It is counterintuitive but true, that it can be much better simply to let the land flood. It does a lot of damage but actually much less in the long run than the steady drip, drip, drip of K-FKD.

On the gripping hand, adding water, insult to injury, bathing in it and wallowing is iffy. It's good if it is tuning in and letting it flood so it can pass through your system more effectively. It's bad if it is a way to simply keep adding to the flood so it's steady waves rather than drips. That's how to wear away a continent rather than merely gouge a canyon.

So, for myself, I think my wisdom is telling me to disengage with politics right now. Consuming more politics is me trying to put out fire with gasoline. I am terrified and in mourning. I'm not terribly far out of my closet and am pondering how to stuff myself back in. I don't think that's healthy. Neither do I think it is healthy or safe to start throwing molotov's. That is why I went into the mental hospital the last time. I do not want to be that version of myself. Everyone else is going to have to make their own calculations but for my health and safety, I'm going to work on being as anti-political as I can on here. Acknowledging that it is probably going to be very difficult. I'll probably screw it up. But that's a problem for later me. Not now me. I'm going to try and trust them to have my back and work through their shit, then, the same way I'm trying to work through mine.

Then it is on to unfucking my life. Never fun. But I am now 7 days behind on NaNoWriMo. I've been in writing burnout for something longer than a decade. I NEED to write. I NEED to catch up. I NEED to reassert that portion of my identity before the failure to engage with it kills me. So I'm going to try to focus there for now. I'm going to try and tune into that with the energy I have been using for politics.

I called myself empty MANUSCRIPT for a reason. So I think it is time to empty my plate, turn off the radio, and focus on there for now. That's my first bird.

That's it.

I'll deal with whatever NEEDS to happen next after I get this cleared off my plate.

And I hope everyone else finds/gets what they need to survive the next few days, too, even if I don't say so elsewhere or elsewise.

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petrichoraline · 1 year ago

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okay I have so many thoughts on the cherry magic pilot, many of which might sound Stupid and Wrong

how can you talk about all things a person is expected to be and do and finish it off with this question

WHEN YOU TURN THE CHARACTER NOTORIOUS FOR WANTING NO RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER INTO A PART OF A COUPLE

when I saw the prior introduction of these two I thought they might have dropped this very stupid change but ig not, I suppose they'll give her some other type of struggle with societal expectations

not too hyped for jan and sing as a couple, I like them both so much but I have no reason to believe their chemistry would be smth special

when I saw mark i got a bit worried because ive only seen him as prince in sky in your heart but I got shocked how much he seems to resemble yutaro

i wasn't sure bout junior but they do seem to resemble the pair a lot when together and I hope their acting brings out more of the characters' charm (because I did feel a bit iffy about them in the japanese version ngl)

I also think he'll portray his character a bit differently, he seems more down-to-earth and confident so he'll probably tone down the obsessive loser vibe of the original; hopefully mark has improved

they look cute ♡

the bland backgrounds and too much voiceover kinda bored me but it's only a pilot, I'm sure it'll work better in the full episodes

as for our stars, I think new seems a bit ridiculous as achi, maybe because he's a big guy trying to make himself look small? I don't mind that the height difference that eiji and keita have isn't replicated, but new is also very broad shouldered and overall doesn't seem to give off the aura of a guy with bad self esteem issues with his acting; the way he looked almost happy in the elevator reveal scene

and some other scenes made me think new def has a different take on the character. that his version would be either 1) "no confidence in theory, way more in practice" in which case the script would be to blame or 2) developments true to the character but not acted out the right way. there's also the option that everyone makes achi a more confident guy on purpose - he's written like that and so new presents him that way. that option is a bit unlikely considering a line in the pilot related to self esteem but it already seems like the source material might've been a bit misunderstood

I think it's cause of the actors' faces just being the way they are that tay gives off "puppy wagging tail aggressively" more than keita did - tay's big eyes and smile just do it by default

it feels like his interpretation of kurosawa's character would be more innocent and playful, kind of as if he'd confess earlier than kurosawa did, I get more of a careless vibe though I'm sure they'll stick to the og motivations and doubts the character has; he doesn't contain himself the way kurosawa does:

i remain optimistic! the show is based on a manga that is drenched in multiple aspects of japanese culture, societal commentary is based on japanese society for the most part. having the story take place in thailand with thai characters will obviously have the main conflicts presented through a thai lens. you can also see the comedic editing typical for thai shows and it differs from the japanese comedic style you can see in the og adaptation. im excited to see whether trying to stick to the og yet changing other aspects will work or not. there are already things that I look forward to and things im nervous about so i hope it's anything but boring lol

these are most of my ramblings, would love to here everyone else's views on them and the pilot itself 💓

#cherry magic #taynew #cherry magoc thailand

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celestialholz · 2 years ago

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Just the Two of Us (or 'the number two and Hassius')

So, you may remember me discussing TM20 a while ago, how it's Brassius' life story and how the numbers two and zero make up an experience shared with no one else, and... well, thought that was as far as the 'twoness' went, to be honest. That was enough, right? That's already enough gay, between the Applin and the sculptures in Artazon????

... Except no, because in case you hadn't realised by my collection of seven ephemeralart metas and counting, Paldea simply loves to gaslight me into a false sense of security. A girl thinks she's done with Pokemon's chief husbands, and yet here she is again.

What follows is a collection of 'twos' and their multiples that follow Hassel and Brassius around as though they're being stalked by their own love story.

We'll start with: if you take on Victory Road in its recommended order, Brassius is the second trainer you fight, whilst Hassel is the second to last.

I'm sure we all know it by now, but here's the order you're meant to go in:

And obviously it's followed by the Elite Four, Hassel being the last one before the champion herself. (We're... not counting Nemona. The Nemona fight's its own special little thing, and she's not part of the League anyway.) Couple that with the fact that Hassel canonically shows up to say hello after the second gym, and... mm. Mmmmm.

Point one, in fact, is almost as good as point two: Applin.

This is Applin's stat spread. Which is all perfectly divisible by two. In fact, if you just throw Hassel and Brassius (TM)20 points each... well, that's four stats covered, and it kinda stands to reason that two older men might be slower, and that that two older, emotionally damaged men might be really good at being overprotective. 'Dragon that guards the final fortress of the Elite Test,' anyone?

Oh, but we don't end there with Applin. Oh no.

The apple daughter has Ripen as an ability later, which, well...

... doubles effects. Okay then...

Is this the better of Flapple's two abilities? Oh, absolutely. But it also means nothing practically, because Hass doesn't use berries, or held items at all in fact. It's almost like it's only there symbolically! Imagine that, what a world. And Flapple, as I've discussed before, is also second to last in his team line-up, which as we know symbolises the heart and personality of the trainer. I'd argue, in fact, that Hassel having Flapple over Appletun is indicative of turning a misunderstood childhood (a 'self-defence', if you will) into a powerful and prosperous adulthood, because Flapple's much more of an offensive Pokemon - but that's an observation for another time.

Point three: there are four Harvest Cs, again two times two. I talked about the significance of The Harvest over here, and about how the sculpture I named 'C' there is a lovely fusion of Grass and Dragon, orbited by small suns. And here they all are:

(Shoutout to mini Holz for that colour coordination. She did it herself, I am but a mere humble illuminator of the lore.)

Point four: there are 34 Surrendering Sunfloras. Also divisible by two. (I am not spending another five hours on fucking Sunfloras so no photography for this one, but trust me... I spent five hours on this shit.)

And there's also that Brassius is gym two... Hassel is fourth of the Elite Four... but here's the real killer:

Point five: Art (4). Just... just going to leave that one with you, and remind you that Paldea has never heard of the concept of 'coincidence.' And I'm going to drop this rainbow two here... just because, y'know.

#ephemeralartshipping #hassius #hassel x brassius #hassel #brassius #pokemon scarlet and violet #meta #juuuuuust the two of us #we can make it if we tryyyyyy #just the two of us #YOU AND IIIII #can't have shit in paldea (unless it's divisible by fucking TWO)

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shiraki-yurara · 5 months ago

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On-Screen Lovers Part 2 Story Event - Jace - Chapter 3 - Sweet End

Disclaimer: Morganatic Idol belongs to CYBIRD & ABC Frontier, Inc.

My Notes: Translation is for entertainment purpose only. Translation may or may not be correct. Please ignore any grammar mistakes.

The acting practice with Jace-san went smoothly.

Everything would surely be okay----- That was what I thought, but I still felt a pain in my chest.

---

Rina: Haa……

The next day, I sighed for the umpteenth time while eating dinner.

(Jace-san will kiss someone else……)

(Even though I knew it was an act, I didn't think I would be this shocked.)

The fact that I actually practiced with him made me feel even more jealous.

(No, this is not good. I have to change my attitude or Jace-san will notice.)

The moment I stood up quickly to return to my room.

Jace: Rina-chan.

Rina: ! Jace-san.

Jace: Can you come to my room for a minute? I need to talk to you.

Rina: Ah, yes.

I nodded, hiding my nervousness, and Jace-san immediately took my hand and we started walking.

(……I have to keep it a secret until the very end.)

I held Jace-san's hand back, secretly bracing myself.

---

Rina: What do you want to talk about?

Jace: About that……

Jace-san seemed to hesitate for a moment, then looked at me quietly.

Jace: Sorry if I misunderstood. But I've been a bit concerned since yesterday's practice.

Jace: Are you jealous that I'm going to kiss an actress?

Rina: Eh?

My shoulders jumped as the thing I had been trying to hide was pointed out to me.

(Jace-san, you noticed……)

Rina: Did it show on my face by any chance?

Jace: I wasn't sure, but I had a feeling when I looked at you.

Jace: Our eyes didn’t really meet and you looked like you were worried……

Jace: I mean, if I was in your position, I wouldn't like it at all.

Jace: I might yell at you not to go to the filming.

As I looked at Jace-san who frowned as he said that, my honest feelings came out.

Rina: …… As you said, Jace-san, I can’t let go of the feeling of unease since we kissed in our acting.

Rina: Even though I didn't want to get in the way of your work…… I’m sorry.

Jace: Eh!? No, don’t apologize.

Jace: I was happy that you were jealous.

Rina: Eh?

Jace: Because that's how much you love me, right?

Jace: Honestly, my girlfriend is really cute.

Jace-san said as he gave me a gentle hug.

(Aah, I love him……)

Wrapped in his warm arms, I felt my love for Jace-san grow stronger.

I put my arms around Jace-san and his face slowly came closer-----

Jace: Close your eyes.

Rina: Nn……

A gentle, soothing kiss.

After repeating that several times, Jace put his forehead on mine and smiled.

Jace: You tried to hide your jealousy, which I think is cool and responsible.

Jace: But I want you to be more honest with me because we're lovers.

Jace: Because I want to fully accept your feelings……

He patted my back reassuringly, and I gave a small nod.

Rina: Thank you. Just hearing that made me feel a lot better.

Rina: Yesterday's kiss was more intense than usual, and I was desperately trying to keep up, so I could not say anything.

Rina: But…… I still feel a little uneasy when I think about you kissing someone else.

Jace: Yeah, of course. Sorry.

Jace: But don't forget this, my heart belongs to you.

Jace: You're the only one I will give kisses filled with love to.

Saying that, Jace-san kissed me many times.

Rina: Hehe, that tickles.

Jace: Ah, you finally laughed.

Jace: I'll kiss you as many times as I have to if it makes you feel less anxious, Rina-chan.

Jace-san's bright smile made me feel lighter in my heart.

Jace: Oh, and this is just a suggestion……

Jace: After filming is over, why don't we take some time off and just spend some time together?

Rina: ! Is that even possible?

I couldn't help but be surprised, knowing how busy his schedule was.

Jace: To be honest, I think it's going to be tough. But, if it's for Rina-chan's sake, I'll try my best to negotiate.

Jace: More than anything, when I think about not being able to see you for a long time because of filming, I feel like I can't bear it……

The way he sighed was adorable and filled my heart with joy.

Rina: I'm so happy…… If it's possible, I'd like to spend time with you.

Jace: Really? Then it's settled.

Jace: This has motivated me even more. What should we do during my off time?

Jace: Of course, the first is to embrace you as much as I want……

Rina: You don't have to say it out loud. It's embarrassing……

Jace: Really? When you say that, it makes me want to say it even more~.

Jace-san grinned, then suddenly his smile disappeared.

Then, his expression turned seductive as he brought his lips close to my ear-----

Jace: ……By the way, I tied you up during practice, right? Do you want to try tying me up next time?

Jace: You can do whatever you want with my body.

Rina: !

The seductive whispers were so sweet that they paralyzed my thoughts……

I couldn't help but gasp.

Jace: Did you just imagine it? Your face is turning red.

Rina: ……, that’s…

Jace: There's no need to deny it.

Jace: I don't mind being tied up and having kiss marks left on me.

Jace: I'm happy with everything you give me.

Rina: But I can't do that to your precious body, Jace-san.

I shook my head in a panic and Jace-san smiled.

Jace: Fufu, I knew you would say that.

Jace: But that's how much I'm prepared to love you.

Jace: I want to give you everything, body and soul……

For the umpteenth time today, our kiss felt more loving than ever, and I could feel my anxiety fading away.

Rina: Jace-san……, more.

Jace: Yeah, I'll do it as many times as you want.

Jace-san hugged me tightly as I asked for a kiss.

Every sigh I let out was swallowed up, and I drowned in the sweet stimulation.

(I love you, Jace-san……)

(Don't let me go until this anxiety is completely gone.)

Wishing so, I reached out to him again.

#morganatic idol #morudoru #morudoru translations #morudoru story event #morudoru jace #exe creed

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