#i might download it again in a couple of weeks to see how it ends but that's it

[theodoravery]

ended up deleting the love is blind game app. i had such high hopes given how good thth was this year, and it had so much potential at the beginning, but for weeks now the chapters being released have sucked. a lot

[the---hermit]

05|06|2024

New day new struggles working on this history paper. I cannot stress enough how stressed I am about how bad the new research interface of my uni is, I feel like ever since they did the big update it's super complicated to get results that have to do with what you are looking for and that are accessible too. Moreover no one cares about this topic because I genuinely cannot find anything. I have found a couple of articles to help me with context but not much. By the end of the week I plan on finishing reading and highlighting what resources I have found and then I'll see what I can make of them, and get back to the professor. I am procrastinating emailing her back because I have no idea what to say tbh. My English lit review on the other hand is going pretty well, and reviewing in the afternoons seems to be a good plan. Since I am a bit more tired having to review out loud helps me with staying focused, and I also don't have to read historical sources all day, or else I'd lose my mind. This afternoon I struggled to stay focused anyway, but at least I got some stuff done, if I had to continue my history research I wouldn't have done anything probably. My brain is just very very tired again.

Today's productivity:

started my morning with an audiobook

more struggling looking for historical sources (I found a couple more but I am keeping those for the very end because they are once again not 100% relevant to what I have to do)

read and highlighted quite a few sources I downloaded at the beginning of the week (a couple were more or less useful a couple were a waste of time, but maybe I'll quote a couple of context details in the end, who knows. At the moment I only need to read two more and then I am done with my first round of secondary sources, but one of those might get deleated because I'm pretty sure is totally useless)

got to practice my French because of a couple of said historical sources, and wrote down the new words I learned today (surprisingly my understaning is better than I expected giving that I have not used my French in years, I should really get back to it more seriously)

continued my first outloud review of all my English lit materials (today I started working on the Shakespeare part, it will take a couple of days to finish it, especially bc today I didn't do as much as I had hoped)

wrote a little summary of a couple of sentences for all the scenes of The Merchant Of Venice in order to review it without having to reread it for the fourth time

[pix-writes]

Playing Swooning Over the Stans (also, have you played it? omg is so fun) made me think; what would happen if the reader is friends with Stan? Like the reader actually likes Ford but becomes really good buddies with Stan, would Ford assume something is going on with them? Would Stan act like a matchmaker? sorry for asking so many questions omg

I did play it aaaaaaaaaaages ago, when it first came out! ^^ but I didn't get very far in it I have to say, I downloaded it a couple weeks ago and only got as far as the forest with ford again. I like dating sims but idk my adhd just really plays up when I try to play this one, I guess I got disheartened because some people have said its hard to complete?

This is an interesting one! This took me a while to think about.

---

I think being buddies with Stan would be a good way to then become friends with Ford himself, in a way, he's more on the periphery, you hanging out at the mystery shack whilst ford is absorbed in his research work. You're likely to get swept into Ford's experiments/adventures. But it makes you crush on him HARD.

Stan might not pick up on it immediately, but it only takes something little for him to notice, he's got a good read on people's tells whether they're lying or nervous and you've played cards together enough times to know yours well.

Will definitely say something immediately after Ford leaves the room, like 'so you got the hots for my brother, huh? What's that nerd done to catch your attention? Haha!' and will gauge your reaction and floundering to see just how serious this crush is and make mild, humourous threats about not doing anything in the shack/in front of him/not breaking his brothers heart etc etc.

He'd definitely joke about it like 'alright, quit with the goo goo eyes at my brother' 😠 or even 'hey! what does pointdexter have that I don't 🥺 pay attention!' definitely don't get distracted when you're playing a betting game, you may be friends but he'll pocket or switch cards whilst you're paying attention to Ford/ daydreaming as punishment. Stan will definitely tease/mock you until you make some kind of move and embarrass you cause he's not the most subtle 😅

Though, he'd be jealous at first, not because he likes you that way, you're more like an annoying little sibling to him, but because he feels the insecurity that your friendship will be taken away from him, which hits harder for him when it's his brother (who has little/no idea that this is happening) due to all they're been through in the past.

Stan is deep down a very loyal person to the people he cares about the most, so it can be a little more conflicting and awkward for him than he likely shows, cause you're his best buddy and Ford's his twin brother, so if you two get together, who is he going to fight if one hurts the other? If you break up, how will that affect all of your relationships together, will he just end up losing a friend? If you get married, he can't be both your best man! He wishes there was a manual for conundrums like this. He'd joke like he isn't affected by this, but also will be quite defensive and distant with you at times as well, which might confuse you.

He'll get over it once he realises that its more mutual, if he sees his brother is taking a noted interest in you too, and/or when you spend time together his brother is significantly happier, he'll start to play wing man to both of you! Ford will get the talk of 'so you have feelings for them, sixer, admit it!' and 'why don't you just talk to them, knucklehead'. I can imagine Ford getting all stuttering and blushy.

As for Ford thinking something is going on between you...... no, I don't think he would? It would definitely depend on the circumstances, like if you're freindship enters that flirty type of joking around or he assumes a situation to be more romantic than it actually is - he might question himself into whether there's something between you, but he's likely to outrightly ask stan out of curiousity. It's only if stan puts him off of you that he'll suspect there's any deeper feelings involved, but knowing his brother, if he did truly like you romantically, he would have said specifically that you were off limits. If this happens, it will give him some time to chew on what he does feel for you, as well as wonder if you like either of them...

If you both pine (no pun intended) over each other as friends and it becomes quite obvious to everyone else but you two don't act on it, Stan would get fed up with it! It won't take him long for this to go on, especially if you're out adventuring together, for him to (unpleasantly) break the ice for you. Cue the, 'oh, spare me' type speech "just cut the tension already, and admit you wanna smooch each other!"

If that doesn't work, Mabel definitely will find out in the summer and do the work that Stan failed at, to get you two nerds to go on a date. Just don't forget to spend some time with your pal like old times. Though that's easy enough to do, since you were practically like in-laws before, the dynamic doesn't change drastically for you, there's just more grumbling and jokes about your relationship with his brother, but now you get to tease him back! Tell him you're next project is collaborating with Mabel to set him up on a date and he'll change tact quick 😅😂 So, ultimately, both twins are happy with the outcome.

[fourseasonsfigs]

Pearl of the East China Sea

Here we have the brightest boy in Jinling City - Zhang Zhehan as the young Lin Shu from Nirvana in Fire.

The inspiration for this fig is pulled from several different places in the show, but the primary inspiration was brief flashback scene near the end of Episode 40. It's been cut out on the version on YouTube, but it is watchable on Viki, starting at 39:00 in the episode. I can't download it from Viki, but I do have a small clip I downloaded from somewhere years ago that plays out this scene:

Apologies for the lack of attribution, I am not sure who originally posted this.

I took a couple screenshots in better definition so you can see more of the detail:

I hate to admit this, but I have not watched Nirvana in Fire yet despite it's epic reputation. BUT I'm hoping to start next week! I have a long flight ahead of me and plenty of time to get started on it's 54 episodes.

I loved this clip when I saw it because of how delightful it was - the young Lin Shu is adorable, with a smile that can really can light up the city.

He arrived safely tucked into his polystyrene box. The little cutout to the right side of him didn't have anything in it. My guess is that it was originally for his lantern, but (very thankfully) it came pre-installed. We won't need to have me sweating over trying to carefully slide it into his little hand.

The pearl is definitely as big as a chicken egg!

The (fish? frog? tadpole?) lantern in his hand is SUPER cute. It's also from the show as well, since I recall seeing a clip of him carrying it, but unfortunately I don't have a shot of it. When I watch the show I will keep an eye out for it, and come back and update this.

This is also a good angle to see the beauty mark on his left ear. This fig maker always adds the beauty marks to Zhehan and Gong Jun's ears.

The lantern is really too cute. Look at the little feet! I'm a complete sucker for those claymation animals with the googly eyes, and this totally reminded me of it. I'm so, so grateful that this didn't arrive broken and once again that I didn't have to wrangle glue on it to stick it into his hand.

The scales on the lantern! Such great detail.

I love figs with cloaks. Here you can see the little bit of detailing for the fur trim.

As you can tell by the fig stand, this little guy did not stand up on his own. You might think the weight of that enormous pearl might drag him forward, but no, the weight of his head kept tipping him back. I glued him down right away - no chance of this little cutie falling and breaking something!

He's not in his full armor here like he was in the clip, he's wearing clothes that Lin Shu wears elsewhere. I think it was a good call by the fig maker to have the clothes be recognizable enough without being overpowering. It really allows the pearl and the lantern to take center stage.

I love this fig, I think he's just so cute.

The fig maker really captured the youthful roundness of his face, and rendered his hair perfectly. The detail on the fur trim on his cloak is subtle but very nice. Just a great execution all the way around.

He's wearing black pants tucked into his black boots, but it's a little difficult to see due to the color.

It's easier to see from this angle.

You can see more detail on the guan here, and we have a nice shot of his hand holding the pearl and the googly eyes on the lantern.

I like the hair a lot on this fig, it's a great look.

This fig maker always has great box card art, and you can see the name of the fig here - Pearl of the East China Sea.

Material: Resin

Fig Count: 493

Scene Count: 31

Rating: Even more precious than a pearl

[link to the Master Post Index]

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Do people remember last year, when Daniel Kitson streamed Tree? It's a two-person play he wrote in 2013, starring himself and Tim Key, and they filmed it in 2015 and then never let anyone see the film until 2023 because that's just what Daniel Kitson's like. They streamed it last year but didn't make it available to download (unless of course you know how to right click on a Vimeo file).

Well, you can now pay to buy or rent it:

A great way to see it again, or see it for the first time if you missed the few streams it had last year (or to take the opportunity to pay money to Daniel Kitson in exchange for all his comedy that you've enjoyed for free, if you happen to have already right clicked on a Vimeo file last year).

He's also announced that he's doing a screening (presumably at a cinema in London) with a live Q and A with him and Tim Key near the end of March. Which sounds like a really interesting thing to hear, so that's a thing to keep an eye on for the sizeable Tim Key side of Tumblr.

And finally, he's announced that he's planning to release it on DVD at the end of the year, complete with special features like commentary and possibly a recording of the cinema Q and A, which is amazing. I'm thinking of all those shows he did between about 2006 and 2012, in which he said he said all the other comedians releasing their own DVDs, and heard everyone tell him that he should be releasing a DVD too, but he didn't want to do it, because he had too much artistic integrity and/or couldn't be bothered.

He had a joke for a while about how it's actually nothing to do with principle and it's just that he couldn't be bothered, but aside from that one joke, he built a hell of a lot of his persona on the idea of being the One Guy Who Won't Do DVDs. 2006-2012 Daniel Kitson spent a lot of time giving us all his reasons why he doesn't care that everyone else is doing it, "everyone else is doing it" is not a good enough reason to release a DVD. And he doesn't want to make one, no matter how many people ask him to.

I fucking love that it turns out all it took to convince that guy to release a DVD was to wait just over a decade, until it's an obsolete format. Then he'll do it. How wildly on brand is it for Daniel Kitson to release a DVD in 2024? Shades of the time he wrote a show in 2006 about how he refuses to shave his beard just because everyone tells him he should, and then another show in 2012 about how he shaved his beard because he didn't want to look like all those other hipsters.

Anyway, I am quite excited about this, I would love to hear that commentary. And the Q and A. And anything else he wants to stick on a DVD. Also, I would love to have a Kitson DVD to add to my obsolete little collection, put it right next to the John Oliver DVD:

If this actually happens, I might have to get on Go Faster Stripe and pay for the Gavin Osborn and Andy Zaltzman DVDs, despite already owning the digital download of both of those, just to throw them in with Conchords and Kitson and Oliver to make a proper Chocolate Milk Gang collection. Though I'd have to see if there's a way to make sure it comes in a proper DVD case, as I don't think they all do.

Anyway, the point is that Tree is a great play - and not even just in the sense that all Kitson's things are great (though they pretty much all are, to varying levels and with maybe one or two exceptions, he had arguably a couple of off nights in 2006 but other than that I think it's been pretty well smooth since the end of Phoenix Nights, especially if you're willing to overlook the penchant for occasional ironic bigotry from before about 2013), as I think it's one of his strongest pieces of writing and performing. Obviously helped by Tim Key being excellent. Highly recommended.

[theseasideskies]

Finished Jenna's route a couple weeks ago but I forgot to post anything, now I finished Carl's route too. Now I get to ramble about both!

I'd seen a bit more spoilers for the game at this point, especially discussion about how the older routes are less polished. The typos and repetitive narration were a bit of a shock to me. I'd have thought they'd go back and clean up that stuff before finishing development. The story still worked, but I can definitely understand the criticism around Carl's route. (Spoilers for both Jenna and Carl's routes beneath the cut)

Jenna's Route

Full disclosure that I've only hit the good ending here, and my PC's currently busted so I had to download Echo on my phone to continue playing so I don't think I'll be seeing her bad ending for a while yet.

This one felt incredibly strong to me, same as Flynn's route. The early subversion of having Carl disappear really shocked me and left me open to seeing where the story went next. The relief I felt after we heard Jenna's grandma on the radio, and then seeing that we were allowed to escape the town? That was powerful.

Super funny to me that the game where everyone feels like they're a repressed homosexual, has one of the best endings if you choose to get with the one girl in the group.

The whole thing with Duke and Brian was very intense, and I've also since seen spoilers that other routes get a lot more heavy on the sexual violence. So uh, yay I guess.

I'd also seen a post on r/furry_irl arguing that it's better to play the routes in order of release. I did the mini version of that I guess, going from Flynn to Jenna. And yeah it definitely felt like those two routes had a lot more connection. Jenna's route provided more closure on both Leo's behavior and that voice coming from the mine, as well as the stuff around Syndey's dad. I was watching bits Keith Ballard's playthrough of Jenna and he does mention being able to tell who wrote which part, and, yeah definitely. No offense to Howly or anything but especially comparing it with the older routes, you can tell.

Carl's Route

After Jenna's route I figured I'd play Carl's, since I'd seen spoiler memes about Jenna getting possessed in it so I thought maybe the themes would connect. Now knowing that I'd played the oldest route, right after the newest one, definitely makes more sense why it didn't connect after all. Maybe that also affected how I felt about the horror, not quite buying the scares when I was expecting something else to be the source.

I can't quite place why the horror didn't work for me this time around. You'd think possession would be incredibly creepy, and put me on edge a lot. Not being able to fully trust anything anyone says. I guess at a certain point the game kinda dragged on the point and it just got frustrating. (Again the repetitive narration affected that too)

The climax for both endings here was still pretty good I'd say, though definitely in different ways. The whole dubcon getting molested by a ghost thing was unsettling for sure. The added context from the good ending of "they were in the house the whole time and just hallucinating" also adds a touch of creepy to the bad ending. The heart-to-heart with Chase and Carl in the dorm was definitely sweet.

I think the other thing that rubs me the wrong way about Carl's route is the resolution not being related to the group's own traumas. Sure Carl has that thing where he realizes he needs to be more independent, but Jenna snaps out of it only when Chase assures John that the real story will get out. The fact that the group got to swim in Lake Emma on Saturday, and then the narration pointedly says "Hah, it's not that easy." really takes away a lot of the agency (and therefore connection) I had with the final act.

The fact the good ending still doesn't let you see the other members of the group was also annoying, though I will admit I might be biased coming off of Jenna's good ending and getting to see everyone together at the diner.

[silverefflux]

skl

Chapter 7 of my König x Fem!OC fic, Rush

See Chapter List

Photo by Dương Nhân

Summary: “I want to tell you something.”

A/N: LET'S DO FLUFF TODAY.

SORRY BUT I AM BORED OF SMUT RIGHT NOW. Basically people do things to each other and in the end, one or both cums. Fuck Chapter 5 and 6. And fuck chronological order.

. . .

Be More // Stephen Sanchez

A couple weeks after they last saw each other, Kate and Dominik kept in touch, many thanks to Kate convincing Dominik to download a video chatting app for them to communicate on. Talking over text when more than 10,000 kilometers apart simply would be too expensive, dry, and unreliable.

“What time is it there?” Kate asked Dominik.

“I’m six hours behind. It’s 2:03 PM here,” he stated, followed by a slight sneer on his lips, “So ‘round about…8:03 PM there?”

“Yeah pretty much,” she nonchalantly replied, eyes intent on what’s in front of her. A sizzling noise from her end of the line competed with her voice, along with the clacking and scraping of a wooden spatula. Some steam rose from the pan she held, floating into a small, unused range hood above the stove. Others wafted all over the tiny kitchen of her apartment.

Dominik tried to bring his attention back to the book he was reading on his sofa, but couldn’t help himself from glancing at his phone, which was standing against the armrest. There’s something about watching her cook that seemed more interesting at the moment than the connection between war and geography, or his cup of coffee.

He set his book down on the coffee table and would forget about reading or drinking for the entirety of the call.

“That looks delicious.”

Kate cast a disbelieving look at him. “Me or my dinner?”

“Both,” he let out a single chuckle. This woman and her words. “But really though, what are you cooking?” he asked in childlike curiosity. He shifted so that his feet were up on the couch and the hand, now holding his phone, was situated on the backrest.

She enthusiastically grabbed the phone from the countertop, which was previously leaning on an electric kettle, then flipped the camera to show what she was making. “It’s just stir-fried veggies. So that’s garlic, onion, oyster sauce…” she listed off as she stirred what was in the pan, “Then…what’s the word...sweet potato leaves? Yeah. Then I’ll eat this with rice.”

“Huh. Interesting.”

“Thanks, just a quick dinner,” she smiled.

“Do you like cooking?”

She paused to think. “Uhhh…I like nice food. And so happened to know how to make some of it…? What about you?”

Mein Gehirn hat echt Wandertag heute. Mann, that was like asking someone if they take showers as a hobby. “I cook a bit, yeah. I bake sometimes. When I feel like it.”

She immediately looked at him again, fascination painted in the glow of her eyes. “Whoa, that’s so cute.”

“What?” he tilted his head ever so slightly, unaware of the small blush that was starting to dust his cheeks. The last time anyone genuinely called him “cute” was when he was a child, so the association of him with the adjective felt quite bizarre.

“You baking. I barely know any guys who can bake,” she explained.

As the call carried on, each amused the other with their own takes on their country’s food culture. There’s food for breakfast. Food for Christmas. Food for drinking and hangovers. Both relished in their memories associated with the meals they liked.

Sure enough, Kate’s dinner was ready, so she invited him to accompany her for dinner—virtually, that is. She grabbed a hefty bowl and flipped it upside down for her phone to lean on, making it as if she and Dominik were sitting across from each other on the small dining table of her apartment.

Kate’s stomach fluttered as she quietly indulged in scenarios she would be embarrassed to admit of, being a woman of her age. Thoughts of how sweet it might have been, had there been no expanse of land and water between them. Part of it felt to her like those little dollhouse skits one would do when they were little, where the guy and the girl would have a dinner date sitting across each other, occasionally sneaking glances at each other and smiling to play it off once they were caught by the other’s eyes.

Maybe there would be some spaghetti served, and they would twirl up some pasta from the same plate, only to realize they were eating the same noodle as their faces inched closer and closer until they kissed. Then there’d be fireworks and dreamy eyes. But that’s just Lady and the Tramp. Real dinner dates have you feeling extremely conscious over how you eat. Unless you’re too smitten to bother about presenting and witnessing immaculate table habits. Such is the case for Kate.

A while into their virtual dinner together, however, Dominik’s expression faded from cheerful to uncertain.

“Hey Kate?”

She hummed in response while she took a spoonful of rice into her mouth. Her brows raised in anticipation.

“I want to tell you something.”

She took a gulp of water to down her food quickly. “Yeah, shoot.”

He took a deep breath and his right began fidgeting with his fingers. His heart leapt to his throat. His gaze landed everywhere but at her. This confused and worried Kate at the same time.

Is there something wrong?

“I…”

Come on, just tell her. It’s nothing deep.

Kate tried to guess in her head whatever it was he was about to say, but she couldn’t fathom what seemed to be bothering him about it, internally crossing her fingers that it wasn’t anything awful. Then a thought struck her.

Is he going to say what I think he’ll say?

For some reason, Dominik was gutted by a fear that she would just outright leave the call once he told her what he wanted to, but he took another breath anyway just to force the words out of his chest.

“I took a contract.”

Oh. She now got somewhat of a grasp on why he looked that bothered. “Well..congrats? Sorry, I don’t know what to say when it comes to that but it’s a new job so I suppose that’s good…?” she replied sheepishly.

Okay…so she didn’t end the call. “Yeah, danke,” he spoke abruptly, taking another deep breath. “I’m getting deployed in two weeks. But it’ll be around six months before I come back.”

“I see. Where to?”

“Can’t say.”

She kept her cool, but deep down, there was uncertainty gnawing itself into the crevices of her mind. Anything could happen when a soldier—or a contractor, in this case—is deployed. It’s sad, but not in the dramatic sense. Rather, an awkward and empty one; as if their whole budding romance started from an unexpected "oh wow” moment, then the movie of their lives just cuts right when the climax is about to happen and you’re left with "oh well" before anything gets really deep.

“That’s awesome. Good luck. And be safe out there, yeah?”

“Thanks.”

Neither of them called the other in the next couple weeks. Dominik was too afraid to call. Kate was busy and assumed he simply needed space based on how he was acting when he told her about his upcoming work.

It wasn’t until a day before he left, that he called all of a sudden. Luckily, Kate wasn’t on any flight that day. It was only to say goodbye, but then she asked if there was any internet in his destination, to which he realized that she still wanted to chat. For that, he admired her persistence…and the seemingly unfazed air about her despite him being in a potential life-or-death situation. It was almost like she already knew what it was like.

. . . 

Fast forward to Dominik’s deployment, it didn’t take long for Kate to figure out that he was somewhere around Adal or Urzikstan based on his mentions of the desert, the time zone differences, and the recent international news. Trying to speak over a video call was too frustrating due to the limited connection, so he and Kate returned to mere chatting and texting.

Her life, like any other, had always been an ebb and flow between lull and activity. Business as usual meant getting assigned flights, studying the routes, submitting flight plans, coming home, driving occasionally to her parents’ house to have a meal with them and her brother, and spending the rest of the time in her apartment through chores and hanging around.

Dominik would pop up in her mind every few days. Whenever that was the case, she would leave him a small “How are things there?” or a “Hope you’re safe. Chat me when you’re back.” His responses would range from a couple hours to a couple days away, but he was kind enough to reciprocate with bits of “Have you eaten?” or “Did you fly today?”

Sometime about four months in, he went dark for five days straight. She internally crossed her fingers in hopes that nothing awful happened.

From his point of view, those five days of radio silence ended up with him limping on his right leg all the way back to his barracks at night after a particularly rough clearing operation. He switched on his phone and was welcomed with one single message.

Problem was, she wrote it in Filipino.

As any non-speaker of any language would, his knee-jerk response was to copy the text and run it on Google Translate.

Which led to the next problem: the result made zero sense.

Verdammt blöde App, he rolled his eyes.

The next morning, he sat on a medical table in a container building, patiently waiting as a nurse replaced the bandage on his injured leg. He stared at the nurse, who was too occupied to notice his eyes, then drilled his sights into the wall. He clenched his teeth, deeply weighing his choices should he approach this nurse for such an unprofessional plea for assistance.

“Excuse me,” he hesitantly called her attention.

The nurse looked up at him, mildly intimidated as she found his eyes in the hood that he insisted on wearing despite not being in combat. “Sir?”

“You’re Filipino, right?”

“Yes, Sir. Why?”

Silence.

He discreetly took his phone out of his pocket and opened his phone gallery. He knew not to be a show-off about it, as some of the military staff were allowed little to no usage of mobile phones. The nurse squinted at him, initially suspicious over what was taking him so long, but then brushed it off in favor of resuming to wrap the rest of the gauze around his leg.

“What does this mean?” he leaned over, presenting the nurse with a cropped out screenshot of Kate’s message.

She paused from bandaging again to check at his phone. Then her eyes blew wide and she looked at him with a wry smile, which earned a flustered expression from Dominik.

His stomach dropped. Was that a dirty text?

“Iniisip kita. Share ko lang,” the nurse quoted the text in a playful tone she assumed it was supposed to be read in, “She’s telling you that she’s thinking of you.”

He stared with a mix of relief and surprise, internally hoping his emotions weren’t so obvious through his hood. “She”? Is it really *that* obvious?

“It’s just cute though, because the way it’s said, like she’s playing hard-to-get a little bit? ‘Share ko lang’ kinda has a tone of ‘I’m just sharing,’ or, ‘Just sayin,’” the nurse softly elaborated, waving a hand off to mimic the coyness of the message, “Is that from your wife—”

“Ah, it’s—it’s not—”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have assumed,” she gasped.

“It’s all right. Is this done yet?” he asked hastily, pointing at his injury that was being tended to.

The nurse returned her focus to bandaging his leg, speeding up to end the whole interaction. “A little more…You should reply to her. Or him. I don’t know…but that’s pretty sweet,” she shrugged.

After his wound was freshly dressed, he quickly thanked her, got up and paced his way out of the room. He made his way back to his barracks briskly, bypassing dozens of staff in his way. It was as if he had no injury in the first place.

Perhaps it was from embarrassment of asking the nurse to translate such a personal text. 

Perhaps it was from her probing from context that the message wasn’t just made by some relative or friend.

Perhaps it was from a newfound will to make it out of his mission alive and come home.

Perhaps it was from the prospect of hearing Kate’s voice, or seeing her face again.

One thing for certain is that something changed in him. As he sat back down on his bed, his heart raced and his eyes danced, searching for anything to divert his clamoring thoughts. He was an awkward, giddy teenage boy all over again. He sat on the bed and hunched over his phone, reopening the sole conversation he safekept in a messaging app inbox. His thumbs swiped gently at the sides of his phone as he held it with both hands. A rush flooded through his chest, climbed into his face, and fizzled out the top of his head as a familiar, warm, fuzzy feeling of delight.

She’s thinking of me.

. . .

Translations:

Mein Gehirn hat echt Wandertag heute. - My brain has a field trip today. Verdammt blöde App - Fuckin stupid app

A/N: And yes, for the Filipinos out there: yes, our slightly-conyo girl eats talbos ng kamote <3 Eat ya fokken veggies

[roboromantic]

ugh so we can see our assignments in the employee portal but it has a placeholder number for the number of items to scan until we get the actual list on Wednesday, right? So I see that I have the usual assignment, another one that looks to be a similar assignment but for all I know could be another one of those massive ones, and an assignment of a type I haven’t done before with no real number attached bc you scan Literally Everything

So I check my email today and thankfully the first two are pretty average sized, but this last one is “scan literally everything in the sections you’re assigned unless this list tells you not to.” and also I was told I have to schedule a time to meet up at the store so someone can show me the ropes for that one. which is GREAT bc I’d much rather do that than stumble around a bit like some of the other job types I haven’t been 100% sure of but also. I gotta try to schedule a time to meet up with someone while still working around my brother’s schedule

also there’s a couple (albeit small) certification tests I gotta do that I think are just “do you know the lingo and what to enter for x scenario yet?” but still. I was TRYING to relax here.   

they’re also not due for a week and it’ll probably be a good idea to wait until after I get the training for this job type to take them bc that’ll help reinforce what I should already know and/or teach me some things I didn’t know or wasn’t sure of that these tests might ask about. but also they’re gonna haunt me until I do ‘em

side note the deadlines thus far have always been 11:59pm on Saturday (I’ve said I’m not available on Saturdays and while I could technically work Saturday nights, who’d WANT to? What it really ends up meaning is I gotta get all my Saturday shit done on Friday) or 11:59pm Sunday, so Monday and Tuesday are basically my weekend.  and given this week I mean I guess it’s better that fucking Everything goes wrong on the days I’m not busy but it also means I didn’t really get a break.  Which is again part of why I’m taking today off

I’m kinda complaining a lot but I do actually like this job significantly more than the bakery, it’s mostly just getting used to going from baby training amounts of work to suddenly 3-4 jobs a week

also how tf am I supposed to discreetly check out cigarette prices at Walmart. they’re always in one checkout lane behind the cashier and I mean it’s probably not always open so I could go when no one’s working it but. There’s no guarantee that’ll happen while I’m working and it’d still look pretty sus.         then again I once spent like 10 minutes just staring at one of the little gum displays by one of the many, many closed checkout lanes so.    At least no one bothered me while I was trying to look like a bewildered boyfriend when I had to go get tampon/pad prices.

that said I’m definitely giving off Retail Worker Vibes™ because like 4-5 people have come up to me for help and I mean obviously I help them if I can but like. Do I Look Like I’m Wearing A Blue Employee Vest. (no)

also also I finally got wireless earbuds so try and drown out the incessant Walmart radio blaring Christmas songs, but I really need to download more of my playlists bc my Chanukah one is already starting to get kinda stale and it ain’t a short playlist              at least by my standards, idk how long most people’s playlists are but this one’s got 90 songs and maybe I’ll add a few more as people start making more for this year

[willfrominternet]

A long post about getting old and change

I've put some time into being a nostalgic boy over the past couple of weeks, which has led me to dig back through my old Tumblr and play the hits, as one might say. And in doing so, I found this letter my 23-year-old self wrote to my 18-year-old self:

(Yes, that's my old Tumblr reblogging my old old Tumblr, which is now dead, although I do wish I still had access to that. High school blogging was a whole other ball game.)

The letter goes on much longer. I won't post the whole thing. But one part of it struck me, and I'll share it here:

So don’t think that change is something that hits you. You can’t feel change just like you can’t be afraid of change. You never know when a new era of your life is going to begin, so you might as well stay up and enjoy it. You never know when you’re going to have that moment again.

My guy was right: Change comes and goes, and you can neither prepare for it nor can you live in fear of it. You have to ride the wave, deal with the bullshit, and do something to better yourself every day regardless of what monumental period of change you're going through. You can only look back on those times; you can't realize you're in them while you're in them.

And so this post acts as sort of a letter to my 23-year-old self, living ten years ago in that wild and tumultuous period of self-discovery. That version of me lives in New York, sees comedy shows on public access television, has a lot of questions about his sexuality, wants to get into performing his music and poetry, and really doesn't want to fall into the trap of the 9-to-5 corporate death loop.

Well, kiddo, over the next decade, you do just fine. Sure, you have to go through a pretty rough relationship, four years of a Donald Trump presidency, a whole encyclopedia of global tragedies, a worldwide pandemic, two moves, and a bunch of mental breakdowns to get to where we are now. Some of your friends you have will move away or pass away or never want to speak to you again. You will feel loneliness at times. You will feel useless at times. That's okay.

But you also find a person who makes you feel seen. You find your voice in your writing. You live in a beautiful house near a pond, even though you rent one floor of it and will probably rent forever and don't know where you'll end up next. You have so many friends and family members who love you and you know how to deal with the people who don't. You get paid pretty well to do work worth doing, and the job gives you the time to do the things you love doing. (Best of all, they let you work from home.) And last but not least, you feel free to live the kind of life you want to live, but you realize that kind of self-discovery is not a sprint, but a marathon.

You had the wisdom at age 23 to tell our 18-year-old self not to fear change. I respect that. But you will go through so much over the next ten years. And I know that when I re-read this post ten years from now - definitely not on Tumblr, but in some downloaded archive - I'll have more changes to add to the list. I don't know what those are and frankly, I don't want to know. I want to live life and see where it takes me, and so should you.

The point is: You'll be fine, kid. Now go post on your blog and enjoy your Nerd Karaoke at the Way Station and have fun. We'll take it from here.

[workingfromjapanandchina]

Day 1:

My journey started with a 11 hour flight from San Jose to Narita airport. The flight was mostly uneventful, I watched a couple of downloaded movies on Netflix and tried to use the free Wi-Fi, but it was very slow. During the flight I found out about the shooting with our former president, it was pretty wild to see that news and not be able to get instant information because the Internet was so slow. One really cool thing about this airline is that you can use your phone to order a variety of snacks and drinks and some food from your phone and they bring it to you within a minute or two. The prices were actually pretty cheap, but that could be because the Japanese yen is so cheap compared to the US dollar right now.

This trip is something that I’ve wanted to do for a while. My job lets me work from anywhere so I thought I might as well go to Japan for a week before I need to go to China for some work in Beijing so to make this work, I need to be able to keep my body on Pacific time where I’m from in California. This sounds easy in theory, but I’ll find out how it actually works in practice soon. 

After my flight, I went through customs and immigration, and then fired up Apple maps to figure out which trains to take to get to my final destination of Shinjuku, which is near Tokyo. I ended up taking about an hour and a half of trains with only one transfer and then had a short eight minute walk after that.

I got to my hotel, took a shower and went to sleep, which was at about 2 AM, not great but then again it was late Saturday night or Sunday morning in Pacific time so not that far off. Now I just need to make sure that I wake up at a normal time and I should be good, I’m looking forward to seeing what life is like in this area of Japan, and just taking it easy. Most of the time whenever I travel somewhere I try to fit in as much stuff as possible, and it can be quite tiring.

[skorchinq]

Bows Only: WE'RE SO BACK!!!!!!!

[Image IDs in alt text]

Ok so apparently the last time I updated was in August? And it's April now... um. Sorry about that? I didn't realize it's been so long TTOTT there hasn't been much to talk about honestly

Actually uhhh scratch that. I didn't update in so long ON PURPOSE. Totally. The reason I didn't was because I didn't want to update again until the curse of Jean was broken. And guess what finally happened B)

But before we get to that, let's start where we left off with our last post... way back in August of 2023...

As we waited with bated breath for the release of Version 4.0, I did manage to get a few more notable acomplishments. Namely...

Childe friendship level 10!

And clearing floor 9 with all 9 stars! (I still cannot do this consistently on this account as I type this btw ._.)

When 4.0 finally dropped, I fist went to wish on Yelan's banner. Things were off to a great start:

We got another stringless! I already had two built up, so I used this one as refinement for one of them.

And then... the shooting star lit up gold, and... well, you know how that went.

Try as I may, and Try as I might, Yelan would not come home. And, in this account's most humiliating L to date...

The banner cycle ended with no Yelan and no Lyney.

Still, I could not afford to simply give up. I still worked hard throughout September, earning primogems and building my characters...

I got this really satisfying set of Daily Commissions once

So like. That kinda makes up for not having Yelan. sure

Also! I decided to test Childe's limits!

Look at that damage. All Tartagles babyyyyyyy

And uhhh the date on that one is in September and the date on this next one is in January so. I suppose nothing of interest happened in those months. Makes sense honestly, I had enough to gurantee a 5 star on here so I wasn't quite as desperate for primos and therefore wasn't logging on much... Plus with all the new content that comes with a major version update I was spending more time than usual on my main, leaving less time for this account. But anyway!

In the second half of 4.3 came two very important banners, one for each of my accounts:

On my main, My Raiden went from C1 to C2!

And, here on Bows Only, that 50/50 gurantee from the Yelan disaster finally came in use:

After dodging us countless times... in 2.8... in 3.2... in 3.7... Finally... FINALLY!!! We've obtained the most elusive fireworks maker!

Our quest to max ascend all our characters also continues:

And uhhh here's some event scores:

I also did Klee's story quest, and something they mentioned at the end really stuck out to me:

...They talk a lot about Ludi Harpastum in this quest, but we still haven't gotten to see that festival in game... Not once...

And it was soon after this that... my computer broke .-. I downloaded genshin on my phone while I waited for the repairs on it to be complete, but mobile genshin fricking sucks so I was only logging onto my main account to do limited time events and that's IT. I wasn't even doing my dailies on there and I was barely even touching Bows Only at all...

And it was only supposed to be a couple of weeks, but things kept getting delayed (They ordered the part they needed. they were sent the wrong one. they sent it back. they got the right part but it was broken. they sent it back. they got the wrong part again--) and my computer was gone for like two months TTOTT So I was stuck on mobile for the entirety of 4.4 and the better part of 4.5...

But eventually my dear puter came back to me (and I deleted genshin off my phone immediately) and I was able to consistently play on both accounts once more! It's a good thing, too, because coming up in 4.6 was a Lyney rerun...

I decided to do the Ararycan quest on this account because there's a follow-up to it I still haven't done on my main and I wanted to replay the first as a refresher. And uh

How do I still keep forgetting this is my name. Genshin characters talking about David Bowie still throws me through a loop.

We garnered up primogems upon primogems... by the time the 4.6 update day came around, I had 94 fates at hand. But I also had 0 pity, and no 50/50 gurantee...

I knew what was coming. I knew exactly what to expect. When that shooting star turned to gold, it would be C5 Jean coming to greet me. But even so, I had plenty of savings, and 3 weeks to get even more. As long as I was a little lucky with how many fates it took for each 5 star, getting Lyney afterwards wasn't out of the realm of possibility.

At the 5th 10 pull, it turned gold. "Good," I thought. "That's early. I could get back up to soft pity before the banner ends."

And then, on 52 pity, the impossible happened...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

BOWS ONLY HAS OFFICIALLY WON OUR FIRST EVER 50/50!!!!!!!

Ever since this account first came to be, nearly 2 years ago now, we've lost ever single 50/50, and to the same character no less. But finally, after L after L, right when I least expected it, we've finally taken the W. And it's all thanks to this wonderful, amazing, magical catboy. Thank you, Lyney. I love you

I... did not prefarm for him like at all but that's okay, I had over 100 fragile resin saved up. I fought that crab countless times, and in only a day:

It's what he deserves <3

He's not the only one who got to be ascended that day, either. After him, there was only one character left who was still on ascension 5, but not for much longer:

Now that all of our characters are max ascended, we have three main goals for this account:

Continue to build our characters in other ways. This includes ascending and/or replacing weapons, leveling up talents, and of course, the artifact grind... and also I might level the characters up to 90. We'll see. Pretty sure I have the books for it tbh

Gather primogems. Because of how early we got Lyney, we've got a good head start on our savings for the next 5 star bow to release or rerun (though the only character we still need to rerun is Yelan). But it's always better to be safe than sorry. Just because the curse of Jean has been lifted doesn't mean we can't still lose 50/50s (though if we lost a 50/50 to Tighnari I'd be quite amenable to that). And finally...

Advance the main story. Cyno's Act II story quest is being added this version, so I'd like to replay Act I on this account first before playing the new one on my main. In order to do that though, I first must complete Act IV of the Sumeru Archon Quest-- and I haven't even done the Chasm Archon quest on here... Still, I think it's about time we did the Sumeru Archon quest. Actually, assuming there's another Traveler Archon Quest coming before Natlan, which there ought to be, I should play Caribert on this account too. So, that will be our goal. We play up to Caribert, and then give archon quests a rest for another while.

With those goals in mind, I think this series may be seeing more frequent updates for a while... maybe. Don't @ me if that ends up being wrong.

As always, feel free to send a friend request if you're on Europe server:

And if you're on America server, here's my main:

[ratralsis]

I mentioned recently that my cat went through a sudden emergency that wound up costing me a few thousand dollars.

For a couple of weeks, it wasn't clear if he was going to fully recover. As it turns out, by buying him special prescription food that costs me about $5/day, he's doing much better now.

It sucks. I'm not happy that it's so expensive to feed him and keep him healthy. But that's how it is, and it can't possibly last forever. Since he turns 14 this month, it probably won't last more than a couple more years, frankly. But who knows. That's what I said about my other cat, who's been on slightly less expensive prescription food since January. She's 17, going to turn 18 at the end of the year.

They're both very old, and it's now costing me over $200/month just for food. It's absurd. I'm unhappy about it. I'm going to keep spending it just as long as they're both alive, because the alternative is to have them put down them for being expensive.

Which is what I'll do if either of them winds up requiring another surgery, because, while I can do my best to budget around $200/month for food, I simply can't afford another trip to the emergency clinic like I had in August.

This is where, if I had enough readers to justify it, I'd put a donation link where you could send me money. But it'd be to keep my cats alive. To cover my pet expenses. It'd feel wrong for me to ask for money for that, so I won't.

And yes, that does mean I feel a little conflicted about it when I see other people post those kinds of donation links. "Help me cover funeral expenses for my dog," that kind of thing. I just can't justify it. I know that pets are family members to a lot of people, and they're family members to me, too, but, in my case and only in my case, I feel that I'm the one who decided to take on the responsibility of pet ownership. I don't know the details of anyone else's case, so I'm just left wondering.

But, well, for now, both cats are doing alright, and, if I'm lucky, I'll be able to budget and save and be back to where I want to be in a few more months. November is one of two months in the year when I get three paychecks, so that'll help a lot.

We'll see what happens. I've been trying to find ways to earn more money this year, and, because I work in IT and tens of thousands of other IT workers were laid off at the start of the year, it simply hasn't happened yet. Maybe it'll happen soon. Who knows.

Or maybe, in a couple of years when I finish my book, I'll be able to start raking in that sweet, sweet passive income that I keep hearing about. I doubt it, though! I really, really doubt it!

That's enough of a life update for now. I'd like to get back to writing about writing again soon. My ad-supported Amazon Fire Tablet really pushed a book on me hard called Zodiac Academy: The Awakening, which I was able to download for no additional cost because I have some Kindle membership, and I made it about four pages in before the author's fixation on the first-person narrator's butt and their absolutely fucking awful punctuation (an inability to use commas, mainly) made me decide to stop reading. I'm not sure if I want to actually write about that or not, but I'm thinking about it.

I guess the series must be doing well, though. There are like ten books in the series? A lot of people must not give a shit about their authors being good at writing, which isn't shocking, but it is a bit sad for someone like me, who does.

I mean, just, like, hire a fucking proofreader. They're out there. They exist. Might even lead to enough additional copies of the books being sold to pay for the cost of it.

Okay. That's enough of everything for now.

[curioscurio]

Wowza! So, fun new thing I learned: Aparently, Califorina has some really aggressive fire ants policies, so you guys don't really have them! Either way, it's good to know just in case you do see some floating ant piles lol

Some more Floridian tips if Hurricane Hillary ends up really nasty:

These are all good ideas if it starts getting really bad! A huge issue though, as a Floridian, is living without power post hurricane. I admit I have no idea what the power situation would be like in the califorina area of the hurricane will be, so this may not really apply to you, BUT:

If you DO lose power, I would suggest getting a couple of hand crank flashlights and charger bars that can act as phone chargers, just in case. We had to live for about a week with no running water, lights, internet, etc during the last hurricane and even a few hours of a charged phone helps with making sure you can contact your family and emergency services and keeping yourself occupied with no power. Consider downloading some games or apps that work without internet onto your phone! Also, keeping your phone on airplane mode will help your battery last longer; just be sure to turn it back off every now and then to make sure you're not missing any important texts/phone calls/messages/etc.

If you have a generator, be sure to make sure it's set up somewhere with proper ventilation, like outside or on a patio. Also, grab some extra fuel for your generator next time you're getting gas. Also, you're gonna wanna try and fuel your vehicle up completely as soon as you can before the hurricane hits. People will rush to gas stations, and you may end up in a really long line for gas, or worse, the station could possibly run out before you can get any. This also might not happen! It really depends on the severity of the hurricane and stuff. Just try and stay updated about local news mostly.

Anyway back to generators They're loud and can emit toxic emissions inside the home and can harm and even kill you. It's an engine yknow? Idk if it applies to every single generator or anything, but that's how it was with ours! Just make sure you're running it safely according to the instructions! Because Florida, we would only have our generator running at night to conserve fuel. You may be tempted to keep it on during the day because it gets hot, but unless it's absolutely essential, you're gonna wanna conserve it for the most important times like at night or mealtimes. (Or to use medical devices)

If you're able bodied and in a position to do so, try and help people whose houses have flooded. Sandbags around doorways and drains, etc. There's a lot of helpful sites out there that can instruct you how to safely and properly help keep floodwaters out of houses, but sandbags are HEAVY and there can be a lot of vulnerable people who are unable to do such intense physical work alone. If it's a lot of flood water, there may be a lot of other bugs, spiders, animals, etc hanging around in the flood waters. You may have some spiders trying to climb on you. We went and helped put some friends with flooding and let me tell you there were so many bugs on me that day...

Also! Not saying this will work... but. If you happen to come across the trucks who go around restoring local power... let them know you appreciate the work they're doing. Most likely, they're all being put through the ringer trying to get power back to everyone's homes and stuff. a couple of beers and pizza make for a pretty good incentive for them to get to your house quicker if you've been a few days without power. Again, not saying this is a sure-fire way to get your power back on quicker, but... it might work? Just try and be as courteous as you can towards everyone else who is working through the hurricane overall haha!

And honestly! Hurricanes are really unpredictable, and It could end up as dangerous as a really nasty thunderstorm in the end if it breaks up in the ocean. And even so, a really nasty hurricane is still something you can recover from :] stay strong and stay safe yall!

@ California mutuals: If it hasn't already been said: Try not to walk in flood water. If a power line is down its a perfect recipie for getting electrocuted. Its likely also dirty and full of sewage. Sometimes theres no choice, so if you DO end up walking in flood water, beware: if you see a patch or raft of brown like this, it's fire ants. They all climb on each other to form a raft and it's TERRIFYING (and cool to watch. ) Yes those are ALL fire ants.

[foxingpeculiar]

Video game blogging:

Finished Horizon: Forbidden West (after 96 hours and change). I didn't liveblog this one, but I definitely enjoyed it and will play it again. I know Burning Shores comes out in like 3 days, but I think I'll do the same thing here I did with Zero Dawn and save the DLC for the second playthrough. Plus, I'm playing this through the PSPlus thing, but I do wanna get it on disc, so I'll pick up a definitive edition at some point or something.

Story-wise, I think I said earlier that this feels like a trilogy and now, after seeing the ending of this one, that feels even more true. Also, they had the perfect opportunity to write Sylens out, but didn't, so I'm still curious what they're gonna do now. Like, you can't just fridge him after that... he's GOT to be part of part 3 now, so are they gonna recast him or find some creative solution?

Anyway, I am currently downloading the PS5 upgrade for Disco Elysium: The Final Cut, as voted on by Tumblr, which I very well might liveblog because it does gangbusters on here apparently. But I don't know that I'll start that tonight and I have a seminar paper to write in the next couple of weeks, so it might be a slow start. We'll see how it goes.

After that... well, it's gonna depend on how that goes. I have a preorder of Final Fantasy XVI and will be doing that when it comes out. And I do wanna get Tears of the Kingdom at some point as well. But I'm hoping to maybe get through a couple interesting games this summer and I've got a long queue of games I have access to and want to play, including (but not necessarily limited to): Tactics Ogre: Reborn Jedi: Fallen Order The Last of Us, Part II Dragon Quest XI Tails of Iron Ghosts of Tsushima Kingdom Hearts III Spider Man: Miles Morales Deathloop What Remains of Edith Finch Blasphemous Gravity Rush

And like... I haven't even looked at the classics catalog, really. And this is not including stuff I've started and want to go back and finish/redo (RDR2, Death Stranding, Like a Dragon, Nioh 2), or things I've been wanting to replay for a while (Sekiro, mostly, but also some of the early Final Fantasies, Fear Effect, a bunch of old stuff, actually).

Not enough goddamn hours in the day.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Vaguely incoherent stuff about what might have become my favourite episode of the Robins/James radio show. Not for any one particular reason, it was just very funny. The whole post could basically be summarized in those few sentences.

Reached episode 220 of the Radio X shows, from May 2018, and I think it might be the funniest one I've heard so far.

Normally, to be honest, I like that this show is nice easy listening. I'm sorry that this is a massively backhanded compliment because I don't mean it that way and love the show, but I do like that it's something I can easily listen to on the commute to work or on a break at work or something, and it's not going to make me fall apart laughing in public. I mean, I always try to get a spot at the front of the train and facing the wall so I can laugh a bit without people seeing me. But I won't necessarily laugh out loud to the point of it being a problem.

For whatever reason, on this day in May 2018, they hit a stride to the point where I found it difficult to listen on a break at work because I didn't want my coworkers to hear laughter coming from the empty classroom in which I'd barricaded myself. They were both just on for the entire time. I should maybe say they were all on, because Vin was good too. It was so much fun to listen to.

They do repeatedly announce that they were both at a party last night and are both hungover, and John repeatedly announces that he's in a terrible mood for at least the first half of the episode, so we have further confirmation that alcohol always makes people better at their jobs and John Robins should never be allowed to be happy. Although he did mention on the next episode that he was almost a week into things with his new girlfriend, which I realized probably explained why there was the sort of manic giddiness alongside his irritability and hangover the previous week, which I think was the recipe for why everything he said was so funny. But that's not sustainable, you can't have John Robins acquire a girlfriend every week just because it might put him in a particularly excitable broadcasting mood. That's definitely not a good idea. When they announced that, I did have a brief reaction of "Oh my God, again? He's doing it again? Oh God, I forgot that that he's going to do it again. Isn't he tired? How does he have the energy to do this all over again? I barely have the energy to listen to him do it all over again." The radio episodes were quite a rollercoaster during his previous relationship, turning up every other week with anecdotes that made me wince and think this is a terrible idea, and then there was the breakup phase that was even more of a rollercoaster, and I was vaguely aware from having read his Wikipedia page that between the point I'm at (mid-2018) and present day he gets into an other relationship, gets engaged, and then it ends again. But I'd forgotten it was going to happen until they actually mentioned it. It was pretty similar to my reaction when any of my friends tell me they've got into a relationship, which is "Oh I'm going to have to spend so much time listening to stories about how your relationship is going that always make me think you should definitely not be in it anymore, and I'll have to stand there and not say that, and hanging out will get awkward because I have to pretend I think your relationship is a good idea, and then eventually there will be a breakup phase where you'll be very upset but I still won't really be allowed to tell you the whole thing's a terrible idea, until you're finally done and then the cycle will just repeat, and it's fine and I'll be supportive but don't you get tired?" (People reading this blog excepted, and I mean that genuinely, the couple of people I've met online in healthy relationships make me wonder if I just happen to have only ever met in person people who have terrible relationships.) Anyway, the commercial indie Radio X show is going to do another romance storyline, even though honestly, it's been in a pretty good place and I'm not sure they needed to throw in that kind of subplot.

(Disclaimer: Obviously alcohol is bad for you and quitting it is good and people should be happy and digital DJs should pursue both happiness and relationships at the rate that makes sense for their own lives and not according to what makes good radio. Although pursuing relationships and frequently discussing their ups and downs on air are two different things, and the latter maybe could be done according to a bit more of a "good radio" schedule, because I'm currently three episodes into the new relationship and there have already been multiple stories based on it that are slightly exhausting to listen to, we've got several years of this ahead. I don't genuinely wish unhappiness on people, I hope all my favourite tortured single comedians are secretly very happy and just doing a character, I would love it if it turned out Daniel Kitson's been happily married since 2007 and Michael Legge's been sober his whole life and it's all an elaborate ruse. I just don't need to hear the relationship updates in their work all the time.)

Anyway, this post wasn't meant to be about that at all. This post was about a radio episode where they started by both apologizing because they were hungover and not at their best, and then absolutely killed it for an hour and a half. So many parts that made me laugh too hard to be at work. I've said before that John Robins is quite quick normally and "Lee Mack quick" on a really good day, and this was the latter. Solid riffs. Classic arguments. A made-up game with regional accents and yelling at each other. What more could we want?

I said recently that the dynamic from the beginning of their radio show, John's the better comedian but Elis is more successful, is a gap that I think closes because John wins a massive award and gets some more work and Elis' major TV sitcoms end and I'm not sure how much else he gets. At this point, however, I'm less sure of that. John's had his award for some time and done a big tour off it but the gap does still seem to be there, as every single thing John Robins does gets plugged repeatedly on the radio show, while Elis clearly has enough on his plate so that every once in a while he'll just off-handedly mention some shit he's doing on Welsh TV that's common enough so he doesn't need to make a big deal of it every time. He's got a football podcast with some actual players that seems like a pretty big thing, though it's hard to tell how big because John yells at him for promoting the competition if he talks about it. Though John is about to host a (probably terrible, I'm guessing, though I've not seen it yet) TV panel show, which is definitely big. And I do think wherever they were in relation to each other in 2023, the Taskmaster bump is a big enough thing so that John's got to be pulling ahead now.

Anyway, that episode 220 has a bit that really calls attention to that, because they announce that they've both intentionally kept secret some recent part of their life to tell each other live on air, and John goes first and his story is that he got a speeding ticket and then did a remedial driving class, and Elis' story is that his football podcast has been nominated for an international award in New York. Which was a really funny contrast. And John took way too long to congratulate him, which is such a relatable flaw. In my thirties, I have to constantly remind myself that it isn't like when we were younger and our friends do successful things and we just immediately make fun of them for it, now we're older and their successes are genuinely important life things and we have to remember to sincerely say congratulations and not be a dick about it. A thing that I've had tested several times in the last few months specifically as my roommate keeps getting chosen for Team Canada coaching positions and I have been genuinely working hard to remember to say "Wow well done on the hard work" before I start saying "Oh cool you get to go work with that council of terrible people we've hated for 15 years" and then make jokes about how terrible the people are. Congratulations first, then jokes. And if they hadn't made such a thing about keeping it a secret until they were on air, I'd have assumed that John did the congratulations privately and is now just doing jokes on air, as is appropriate for a comedy show. But because it was his first time hearing it, the longer he went without saying "well done" the worse it sounded, and he went way too long. He said the words "This is like finding out your husband’s affair’s been nominated for best relationship" before he said "Well done." Then Producer Vin pointedly said "Well done Elis" like a parent saying "Thank you" to get a kid to realize they should also say that, and then he muttered "Well done" as well. It was a genuine moment of being a bad friend and it made me laugh so hard that I had to cover my mouth so my co-workers in the break room (because I work with people who can somehow get through a whole morning and still be up for socializing rather than barricading themselves in an empty room during the break) wouldn't hear me. It was so funny. Bitter snippy John Robins is really funny. Elis James deserves a Chortle Award for patience, but bitter snippy John Robins is really funny.

Oh, there were also several links worth of discussion about whether Jon Richardson is a dick and how annoying it is to have your ex-flatmates on panel shows where they get asked to tell embarassing stories about you, which was also very funny. Very good episode. They should broadcast hungover more often. Obviously not really, it's a very good thing that an alcoholic has quit drinking. I should say, I hope there are more episodes in the past where they're broadcasting hungover but also fairly giddy and in a basically bad but excitable mood. It's very funny.

[babyboibucky]

Salt, Sugar and Viruses

Pairing: Office!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You’ve been secretly making coffee for Bucky at the office.

Word Count: 1,962

Warnings: Two idiots just doing idiot things

A/N: This was done in a haste so I kinda hate it lol but I can’t get this story out of my head and thanks to @bitchassbucky for pushing me to write a full fic of this 🥰 luv u 🥺

MAIN MASTERLIST

"You have a crush on Barnes' grumpy ass?!" Sam choked out.

You angrily hushed him and frantically looked around the pantry to make sure that your secret was still safe. Fortunately, only you, Sam and Nat were inside having your respective afternoon breaks.

"What? He's nice. And cute." you told Sam as you stirred your coffee, smiling to yourself at the thought of your office crush, Bucky.

"How'd you even meet him, he works all the way at the IT department." Sam asked.

Nat snorted recalling the encounters she witnessed for the past few months. Some of which were unintentional but most of them? You had carefully planned out just so you could come up with an excuse to request for Bucky's assistance.

"She might have gotten viruses in her computer once...or twice. Or thrice." Nat teased.

The first time you met Bucky was when most of your files suddenly got corrupted. It was hella embarrassing because you didn't know shit about how computers worked and well, you've been illegally downloading torrents since the office's internet connection was a gift from the internet gods. Without a doubt, your computer was a nest for viruses.

Bucky showed up in your floor that morning and you almost sunk into your seat from shame. You'd heard the IT Department complain about everybody else in the office messing up their computer systems. When you turned around, Bucky greeted you with a charming smile and soft hello. You could still remember how he felt when he stayed behind you as you sat on your chair, bending over to take your mouse in his hand.

God, he smelled so good you almost turned your head to nuzzle your face into his neck.

He was very soft-spoken you realized; Bucky was kind enough to walk you through the process and to be honest, you couldn't recall a damn thing he said. Something about firewalls? And shields? Whatever, you didn't really listen. You just stared at Bucky as he explained everything, solving your problem in less than fifteen minutes.

Since then, your crush for Bucky grew bigger. You'd entered the elevator together a couple of times, shared small conversations that made your heart flutter. When those little moments didn't seem enough, you started your devious plan to fuck up your computer a bit. By the third time Bucky fixed your computer, he was already comfortable enough to tease you for being a "virus magnet".

"Hello? Young lady, come back to earth." Sam snapped his finger right in front of your face, interrupting your thoughts.

You clicked your tongue at him and swatted his hand away. "If you ever tell this to anyone, Wilson. You are dead." you warned, poinitng a finger at him.

Sam rolled his eyes, "It's so unfair how he's kind to you. Last time I requested for his assistance he got all smug and grumpy at me." he complained.

Nat shook her head in amusment, "That's because you've been downloading porn. You know the IT department can access our browser histories, right?"

You choked on your coffe, "WHAT?!"

Nat narrowed her eyes at you, "You been up to no good for you to react like that?"

You faceplamed, "I've been stalking his Facebook account."

Sam chortled, "What are you, in high school? Jesus, calm down. You're gonna be fine. Why don't you just tell him you like him?"

You made a face, "I'm not Nat to have the guts to do that."

Nat hummed, bringing her mug to the sink to wash it. "Why don't you start by making him coffee?"

"I don't know how he likes his coffee."

You received a pointed look from both your friends. You groaned in defeat, "Okay, fine. I know how Bucky likes his coffee."

Nat smirked, "Stalker."

-

Bucky always arrived in the office half an hour before nine in the morning. This gives him time to settle into his cubicle, buy a sandwich at the stall downstairs and to make himself a cup of coffee. It was his daily routine and upon going back to his desk after buying his breakfast sandwich, Bucky was surprised to see a cup of newly brewed coffee on his desk.

He looked around but there were no signs of anyone. There wasn't even a note of some sort. Carefully, he brought the cup to his face and inhaled its scent. Shrugging, he took a tiny sip.

-

"How's the little secret admirer doing?" Nat asked, grabbing a chair and sitting down beside you.

You deadpanned, "I've been leaving him his coffee for an entire week now and nothing's happened yet."

Nat frowned, "Are you kidding me? Why would you expect for something to happen when you haven't been leaving any clues?" she said.

"I'm shy, okay?! Maybe I should hide somewhere, check for his reaction. See whether I have a chance." you shrugged.

It was stupid of you to leave the coffee on Bucky's desk. You never stayed to wait for him. You just left it there without a note or anything that would even give him a clue about you and your little crush on him. You knew the reason why, of course. You were afraid of rejection. Sometimes, you'd feel like you have a chance with him since he was always so kind and warm to you. Not to mention, everyone in the office knows him to be grumpy but around you, he was totally the opposite of that.

But then again, maybe he was just nice to you because you were nice to him too.

-

One morning after leaving Bucky his coffee, you finally decided to leave him a note. You ran back to your cubicle to get a post-it and a pen. Before you could even walk around your desk, you spotted Bucky headed over to the pantry, the cup of coffee in his hand.

"Fuck, okay. Maybe I should just directly ask him out?" you thought to yourself.

You quickly followed Bucky into the pantry and almost whined when you saw that Sam was inside as well. You widened your eyes at him, signalling for him to leave but Sam was preoccupied on observing Bucky who seemed to be in a bad mood.

"Rough morning?" Sam just had to ask as you awkwardly stood by the doorway, finding the right timing to butt in.

Bucky's forehead creased as he let out a huff, "Rough weeks, actually." he answered.

You opened your mouth to say something comforting, wanting to lift Bucky's spirits up but he turned around and glanced at you and then back to Sam.

"Does anyone hate me in this office?" Bucky asked.

You and Sam exchanged looks, both of utter confusion before shaking your heads in unison. "Why'd you ask?" Sam asked.

Bucky lifted the cup of coffee that you made, "Someone's been making me coffee." he stated.

You cleared your throat, "...is it bad?" you asked.

Bucky made a face, "Terrible actually."

Ouch.

"I mean, the first time I saw it I was actually flattered. And then I took a sip and it's just...salty." Bucky said, pouring the coffee into the sink before throwing it into the bin.

Sam's head snapped towards your direction, his face almost red from biting back a laugh. Your face heated up at the realization that you've been putting salt into Bucky's coffee instead of sugar. All this time. You wanted to disappear right then and there. And Sam had to be the one to witness your huge failure.

"I thought it was a mistake since the next day, there was another coffee on my desk. I tried it out and it's still salty. It lasted a week, you guys. And I was dumb enough to keep on tasting it in hopes that it might have been a genuine mistake. But now I'm starting to think that someone hates me that much to fuck my coffee up." Bucky explained, face scrunched up into a mixture of irritation and curiosity.

Sam failed to stifle his laughter and exploded, "Funniest shit I've ever heard." he told Bucky before standing up and making his way to the door where you stood.

Your face was red and if the salt and sugar mishap was already humiliating enough, Sam decided to make things even worse for you.

"You really need to check the labels before pouring shit into his coffee." and with that, Sam gave your shoulder a squeeze before leaving the pantry.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. When you opened them, Bucky was staring at you with an expression you couldn't paint.

"Did you...were you the one leaving me coffee?" he asked.

You secretly pinched yourself in the arm to check whether you were just dreaming. Fuck, you hoped you were having a nightmare but the pain that you felt made it clear that you totally fucked up.

You nodded in embarrassment.

"You hate me that much?" Bucky asked in disbelief, as if he was offended that out of all people, it had to be you.

You quickly shook your head, "No, God no! I just...it's because I..." you stammered, trying to find the courage to spit out the words you've been dying to tell Bucky.

Bucky tilted his head, "Because you...?" he urged.

Your hands balled into fists as you let out another deep breath. Bucky probably hates you right now, but whatever. This was your only chance and to hell, you were going to confess.

"Because I like you?"

You didn't think that Bucky's confused look could even turn more...well, confused. But he was looking at you incredulously as though you've grown a second head, or a third head.

"You like me so you decided to put salt in my coffee?" he asked again.

You honestly didn't know who sounded even more stupid now, you or Bucky. Because if he still didn't understand what was going on, he was dense as fuck.

"No!" you explained. "I wanted to make you a decent cup of coffee but I guess I was too careless and didn't realize that I've been putting in salt instead of sugar." you said.

Bucky didn't say anything after that. He just stared at you, but he didn't seem confused anymore. If any, he looked like he was processing the entire situation.

"You like me." he stated again.

Will your embarrassment ever end?!

"Yes, Bucky. And I messed up my chance and you know what? I'm just going to show myself out and leave you alone." you told him and forced a fake grin before attempting to walk out.

A hand gripped your wrist, pulling you back into the pantry. This time, Bucky was the one who looked embarrassed.

"I might have...done something pretty stupid too." he said, avoiding your gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck.

You eyed him suspiciously, "What do you mean?"

"I uhh...I did something to your computer...the day before you requested for my assistance for the first time." Bucky admitted shyly.

It was your turn to get muddled at Bucky's confession. "But why?" you asked.

Bucky offered a shy smile, "Because I've been seeing you around the building and thought you were cute."

And then everything clicked. It was a light bulb moment for the both of you.

"Oh. Ohhh okay. I see." you said before suddenly breaking into laughter.

Bucky joined you and scratched his head, "I guess we're both idiots." he said, placing his hands inside his pockets as he stared at you.

"This went...way more interesting than I thought." you said with a nod.

There was a pause before you decided to speak up, "So, do you want coffee?"

Bucky beamed at you as he nodded, "As long as you'll use sugar this time."

-

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