#i might do something about it later idk i'm tired in more ways than one (also it's 2am don't take my word for anything)

[momentomori24]

*claps hands* Ok. Yttd people, I'm gonna need you to behave yourself about soushin and Midori specifically right now. You know who you are.

[ssaaaronmontgomery]

Mon I think Aaron got a pair of old man (dilf) style reading glasses and at first he’s embarrassed to wear them with the team bc he knows Morgan or Dave will tell him he’s getting old BUT when he wears them at work he notices you get unable to focus in the team meeting and you’re all dazed basically until he takes them off and tucks them away but bonus point that this interaction makes him feel very desired and wanted 😵‍💫 and maybe he’ll show them off to you in private later 🤫

The Glasses

Warnings: Pining?? Sort of?? Maybe idk. Nothing smutty but there are some implications. This is like borderline nsfw? Maybe??

Word count: 1.1k

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gn!bau!reader

A/n: Omg yes. We love dilf glasses on Hotch. He already looks so pretty and desirable but something about glasses on him is different and I need it. I wouldn't say this fic is necessarily nsfw. But I might be willing to write a part two where it becomes smutty. I'll leave this as sfw unless I come to the conclusion that it should be marked otherwise.

Tags: @criminalskies

Forever tags: @greg-montgomery @boredelle

You're completely distracted and it's all his fault. Him and his downright slutty glasses. The first time you saw him wearing them it was a very brief sighting as he had taken them off after just a few seconds of you being in the room. And ever since then you craved to see him wearing those glasses again. They often made an appearance in some of the very inappropriate fantasies you have about your boss. They'd even worked their way into your dreams at night.

The case the team is currently working has been dragging on for a couple of days now and you've gotten basically nowhere with it. The fact that you're sitting across from Hotch as he reads a file with his glasses on is not helping you concentrate on the case in the slightest. And it's stirring something up deep inside you the more you stare at him. Aaron wearing those glasses and looking all serious as he reads is making you very horny if you're being totally honest.

"Y/l/n? Y/l/n. Y/n." You hear Hotch speak your name in a stern tone and you feel his hand grasp yours and he squeezes it. You snap out of your trance. "Hmm? Yeah, what is it, Hotch?" He furrows his brows as he looks at you and pulls his hand away now that he has your attention. "Are you okay? You've been distracted. Every time we sit here looking through files, you seem to be distracted. Is something going on? Are you alright?" Concern is clear in his voice.

What you want to say is "No, I'm not alright. I'm horny and it's your fault because you're wearing dilf glasses that make me want you more than ever. You're very distracting and if you don't put them away right now I'll launch myself over this table and kiss you before dragging you to my hotel room." But you figure that's not really the best thing to say to your boss right now. So you settle for giving him a smile and a nod before looking back down at the file in front of you as you try to force yourself not to look at the beautiful man sitting across from you.

You stare down at the papers but even though you're not looking at him anymore, you still aren't actually focusing on the words on the page because you're so concentrated on not looking back up at Hotch to steal another glance at those glasses. Though eventually you can't help it and do it anyway. You can't really stop yourself as you look back to him.

The glasses perched on the bridge of his nose as he scowles down at his papers. You sigh out loudly by accident. No one else is really paying attention to you aside from Emily and Derek sending each other smirks when they notice just why you're so out of it. But the loud sigh makes Aaron look at you again. His glasses are down far enough that he's looking over the top of them to make eye contact with you.

"Y/n, are you sure you're fine?" He asks, sounding even more concerned now.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired is all."

He stays silent as he observes you for a moment before nodding and going back to his reading.

This continues as the team starts throwing ideas around. Aaron keeps an eye on you throughout it and he knows your excuse of being tired, while partially true, is definitely not the main reason for your behaviour and he just can't pinpoint exactly what it is. But he realises it must have something to do with him as you can't keep your eyes off of him, and only him. You're not having this problem with any of the other team members. Not Derek, not JJ, not anyone but him.

He goes back to your previous statement about being tired once everyone goes back to sifting through the numerous number of old reports and files from the precinct as you all try to come up with a group of suspects.

Hotch speaks up when he feels your eyes on him again. "Would you like me to get you a coffee? I know what they have here isn't very good, but it might wake you up a bit." He glances up at you as he waits for your response. "Yeah, sure. That's probably just what I need."

He nods and stands, in the process he removes his glasses and sets them down on the table. He notices how your eyes follow the glasses and that's when pieces start coming together in his mind. He figures he'll test it out when he comes back.

He leaves and comes back a few minutes later with your cup of coffee and sets it down in front of you. You thank him and he nods then sitting back down. This time, leaving his glasses off. In fact, he actually puts them away so they're out of sight entirely.

This seems to change things. You're more focused on the work. You still give him the occasional glance but you're not full on staring at him with drool practically spilling out of your mouth like you had been earlier.

He leaves the glasses put away and he tries his best to read without them like he used to. He'd known he had needed glasses long ago but he refused to wear them because he didn't want his age to show. He knew he would get some teasing remarks about it from Dave and Morgan. But eventually, it got to the point where he could hardly do the reading part of his job. So he reluctantly had his eyes checked and soon he was wearing glasses that made it far easier to read.

He didn't like the glasses in the slightest. They made him feel old and he didn't like that. But the way you looked at him when he was wearing them, that did something to him. It made him want to wear them.

Unable to work without them, he gets them back out and puts them on. It's hard not to notice the way you immediately look back up from your work. He pretends not to see it.

Over the next half hour you can't help but watch him like he's the most interesting thing you've ever seen. You're fixated on him. And now he is sure it's the glasses that are doing it. He has to bite back a smile. Knowing you apparently find him so attractive with them on makes him feel good inside. He doesn't understand why you would like it, but it's extremely clear that it's doing something for you. He's tempted to show up at your hotel room later to explore this further and see just how much you like them.

[lazycrow12]

Aaron finding out about Hobie and Miles. He's alive for this one and I don't remember what happened to King Pin but let's pretend he's dead. Miles hadn't decided on when to tell his family yet as he doesn't know how to go about it so Aaron is in the dark. One day Aaron is out and about, doing whatever, and he sees Miles on the street. He was gonna go say hi but he sees a boy with him(Hobie) and the boy is leaning on him. From where he is he can't tell what it is their doing so he goes up anyway but as he gets closer he can hear what their saying. Something about Miles needing to get to class and the boy asking for a kiss for the road. He stands back and hides a little to see what happens and sure enough Miles kisses him before saying he'll see him later and the 2 go their separate ways. Now Aaron has questions but he doesn't wanna just come outright with it because he's not trying to upset Miles so the next time he visits Aaron ask a few more questions than usual. How's school? How's ya parents? How's bein a hero? How are the friends? Anyone bothering you at school? Grades good? Dad doing alright? Anything new in life? Anyone new in your life? That last question makes Miles hesitate a little before he ask him about something.

"So I have this friend, you don't know him, and he's dating.. a guy for a while now. They really like each other and really wanna be able to go out together in public."

"Is this friend hiding the relationship with this guy?"

"No, no, not really he just hasn't brought him home. Or brought him up to anyone. He's kind of scared of what they might say when they see him."

"Well, I think it's important that this friend knows something's first. Is this kid good to him?"

"Y-Yeah. He's the sweetest."

"Does he make your friend happy?"

"Yeah."

"Then that's all that matters and that's all that should matter to this kids family. I'm sure whenever he's ready to say it his family would love to meet the boy."

Some silence between before Miles ask him "You knew I was the friend didn't you?"

"I told you we need to work on your lying skills."

Yeah, idk where else I'm going with this but the writer part of my brain is itching to write things but tired.

[ooffmlsorry]

Getting Drunk with One Piece Men

sabo, ace, law, zoro, sanji

A/n: Ngl writing drunk characters is my bread and butter. Idk man. It's just how I am.

Content: gender neutral except female pet names in Zoro's

SABO

Y'all become idiot 1 and idiot 2, honestly you might even fight over who gets to be idiot 1

Koala's so tired of y'all omg this poor woman deserves a vacation from the two of you

You can drink him under the table, he's such a lightweight

I'm so sorry to tell you your man's a wanderer. At least once you're going to turn around and say "where'd Sabo go????" Half of your night might be spent looking for him

Despite being drunk Sabo's still a gentleman, you two are gonna stumble down the street arm and arm, he'll walk on the outside of the sidewalk closer to the street to keep you safe, and he likes getting your drinks for you

He drinks sugary drinks and will have a HORRIBLE hangover in the morning

He's not necessarily an angry drunk but he is a loud argumentative one, when he inevitably wanders off you're going to find him loudly arguing on behalf of the revolution and shit talking the world government to anyone that listens and to anyone who won't

You're also going to give each other increasingly stupid dares and stunts throughout the night

Gets affectionate as the drunkness gets closer to tiredness and then he turns into a cuddly man baby

Y'all also both crash pretty unceremoniously. Hack is going to find you two curled up in a coat closet together with a random dog and a dick drawn on your face???

ACE

two words: GOOFBALL ALERT!! He's unserious normally but when he's drunk unless something really, really bad is going down, don't expect a serious response out of him

So LOUD!!

"Ace, why are you yelling? I'm right here."

"I'M YELLING???"

You're all of his impulse control for the night and if you don't have any either than good luck to Marco...

Will loudly brag about you to anyone who listens. Probably does a toast just because you exist and will probably say something he shouldn't

Please stay near him, he just wants you to be right next to him. If you're a wanderer you're gonna stress him out real bad and he's gonna start spiraling. He's just physically clingy, he's got his arms wrapped around you, his head resting on your shoulder, sitting on his lap would make him very happy. -10 personal space.

Lights a shot of liquor on fire and drinks it to impress you. Every. Single. Time.

Speaking of that he repeats SO MANY of the same stories he's told you before

Also wants to dance with you, you've got no option unless you absolutely hate it

Tells you he loves you once every 2 minutes. please say it back. Don't be surprise if he proposes to you a couple of times when he's drunk

Inevitably starts crying...the later it is the more likely it is to happen. Just be prepared to coddle him and be covered in snot before morning.

LAW

First of all, it's gonna take a lot to get this man to actually drink. He's not a fan of being out of control. But he would do it, especially if someone told him he couldn't or told him not to

He also doesn't have the highest tolerance, the fact that he's tall is the only thing saving him from being a lightweight

You know he's drunk because he gets really expressive and talks with his hands a lot more.

I'm telling you this man is going to start talking about his coins. Fucking coins. And Sora. He's gonna out himself as a huge fucking nerd.

He's the most self aware drunk you've ever met. For the entire night he's fully aware of the things he shouldn't be doing/saying and still does them.

"I've had way too much, Y/N-ya. This is going to be awful."

*Gets another drink*

This also includes being all over you. If your relationship was a secret it's not anymore because he can't stop staring at you and keeps finding his way back to your side. And he does this thing where he keeps inspecting your hands and fingers??? He's captivated by them. You think he's trying to hold your hand without looking like he's holding your hand??? But it's kind of unclear????

The more I think about it the more I'm certain that drunk Law turns into a little weirdo.

If you touch him at all he's going to turn into putty, like his face is just gonna look like 🥴

Might start telling you secret dumb thoughts that he has or recalling good memories with Cora.

If Luffy or Kid is there he won't say no to a challenge, he doesn't say no anyway but it's so. much. worse.

He's gonna have to drink enough to put him to sleep or he's going to sober up and recall the horror of what drunk!Law was like

Please act like none of it ever happened. Please.

ZORO

This man is gonna fall asleep.

Can Zoro even get drunk???

Well, hell froze over and he did. Somehow.

Drunk Zoro is surprisingly friendly, he even almost compliments Sanji which is WILD

Like he kind of has something nice to say about everyone worth saying something nice about

There's still something really intimidating about him especially if anyone makes you uncomfortable

Suddenly Zoro can't remember your name and only refers to you as "my girl" or "woman"

Honestly, he can't believe you're actually dating him and he'll tell you several times

Will probably say something like "damn, I keep forgetting how pretty you are. 'S fucking weird."

Teases you a lot. He's like a kid pulling your pigtails because he likes you. As soon as you do it back you're going to get a big reaction out of him though

"OI! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR???"

"NOT SO FUNNY NOW IS IT!!"

He might play fight with you lmao, be prepared to be manhandled because he's rough around the edges but man does he love you

Like I said...this man is inevitably going to fall asleep, hopefully you were done partying by that point because he's not letting go of you. You're stuck. Sorry. You're his new nighttime plushie.

SANJI

Oh Sanji *long sigh*

He thinks he's being smooth but he's boderline incoherent when he's really drunk

He's gonna hype you up!! A LOT!!!!

Probably the most normal drunk because he's already a perv and being drunk doesn't make it that much worse

He can be a little petty though lol, not towards you but you might hear him muttering something here or there

Wants to take a bunch of pictures with you

Unfortunately over half of them are gonna be a blurry mess

Absolutely wants to dance with you

He's not drinking nasty alcohol

Honestly, he's kind of giving Brittany Broski in the sense that depending on what drink he has he's gonna gag

Sidenote: he could theoretically stomach it, Zeff didn't raise no bitch(/j) but why torture him??

So excited you exist??? Like for a moment he's gonna get philosophical and be in complete awe that the two of you exist at the same time and met??? How lucky can he be!!!?

Actually, drunk Sanji gets kind of deep after a while, especially when the two of you are alone

He's not gonna cook drunk. Big no-no. That's a hazard. But if you were drunk and hungry or wanted to sober up he'll make you a cup of coffee and something that doesn't require fire or a lot of knife skills

Would rather whisk you away somewhere quiet to be alone with you after a while. Like, he's not a wanderer per se, but he wants to be alone with you

Leans on you a lot when he's drunk

He might definitely be the little spoon that night, he gets so soft by the end of the night just hold him, okay?

[aranock]

I'm tired.

Just sort of in general I am exhausted. I know I put on a brave face a lot, but the hate does get to me. The constant unceasing hatred both offline and online gets to me. I'm human idk what to say. Been thinking a lot about the Bilbo quote, I might be paraphrasing, "I feel like too little butter spread across too much toast."

It's pride month, I should be feeling happy right? I convocated finally after a brutal long degree I should be feeling happy right? I like how my body looks for the first time in my life shouldn't I feel happy?

And I know that's not helpful, that feelings are not a should thing. And yet I feel it anyway :/. Not that I do not feel happy, I would say on average I am better than I have been at any other point in my life. But it does get to me.

I was invited to dinner with a former family member, a blood relative that breached every boundary I placed and even went so far as to accost me in a public space. It's hard watching someone lose all love for you the more you become yourself. Being told I'm an embarrassment to my parents by creeps online stings a lot more now that I had a blood relative say it to my face while aggressively yanking my jacket so I couldn't get away. I know its a lie, I know that this person saying that hurt my parents as much as it did me. Alas, anxiety rarely responds to facts or evidence.

Everytime it feels like I'm fine and over it; this person manages to weasel their way around boundaries to fuck up my mental health for a week. And the thing about chronic illnesses like mine is they flare up quite horrendously when you get stressed and anxious. Anxiety means waking up to acid burnt throat from reflux.

It makes my voice dysphoric all day.

I think deep down one of my greatest fears is that I am unlovable, that everyone around me secretly hates me and is just waiting for the excuse to finally be rid of interacting with me. I am terrified that I am a burden. Mortified by the false belief that I am broken.

Despite how horrific my childhood adolescence and some of my early adulthood were, my family was at least a safe place. I recognize that I was privileged to have that. With that said I think the reason this whole thing has rocked me so much is that it violated that one last place I felt safe. It has made me doubt the love of those I never thought I would.

Sometimes transphobia feels like drowning, and if you try to swim for air everyone decides to shove you further down cause actually it's proof you are faking needing breath.

I text someone anytime I go run errands, just to make sure someone knows. Had too many experiences of hate. I get anxious when I go to get groceries; will this be the time I get hit by a vehicle driven by a far right transphobe, am I going to get called a slur again, will the store staff get suspicious of me and search through all my groceries to make sure I actually paid for it. But please, tell me how I don't know what its like to be oppressed. When men sexually harass, catcall, creepily hit on, follow me around clearly I am not at all experiencing sexism. Obviously the real worst thing in the world is that women "cancel" people on the internet, and trans people exist. Did they think sending me hateful articles would suddenly make me go "oh yes clearly its all in my head, please genocide my community, I stand for nothing and have the moral backbone of a slug."

I don't really know why I'm writing this, I dont usually feel or desire to express something like this publicly. I will probably delete it later. Maybe I disappear into writing cause its easier to deal with the feelings that way. That at least then someone gets something out of my pain. That maybe it helps to condense emotional mountains to the mole hills of short strokes of a pen or presses of a key. To let them explode outward in a flurry of thoughts and words that others look at and say "I too have felt this, you are not alone, you are not wrong for feeling this way."

Anything to take the weight of it all off my chest for a second.

Because I am tired.

I'm exhausted really.

I don't want to be brave or strong or resilient. It's tiring to bear the weight of that and a billion projections. Atlas does not bear the heavens upon his shoulders because he is strong or brave. He bears it because he has no other choice. Because people put it on him.

I just want to exist; that is apparently too much to ask for as a trans woman.

If you are concerned, please don't worry I'll be fine, I was fine every other time after all. This too shall pass. But right now it hurts.

And I have had my fill of hurt for many lifetimes.

[rivangel]

sequel to this post

➥ c/w: gn!reader, some angst, oral (m!receiving), praise, subby Levi canonverse, established relationship, handjob, finger sucking?, turned into smut somehow

➥ wc: 1.8k

The boy appeared to you and Levi later to apologize profusely like that was the reason he'd been born. You didn't have the heart to turn him away, and filed inside the small recovery room behind him, with its half-exposed brick walls. The curtains were shut, but enough light penetrated. Levi looked too tired to stop him, and it took an arduous amount of time to get through, but his answer was short, to the effect of, If you're not court-marshaled, don't do it again. A slightly upper angle and I would've bled out. Then where would we be?

You're still thinking about that as you stock the closet with some of his clothes. Mandatory bedrest for at least a week, and after that, take it slow. Levi practically shriveled up when someone said 'wheelchair', and he preferred if hospital germs didn't get into his quarters.

You'll have his squad up there every day doing routine cleaning, "trouble" which Levi didn't need to exert his mind over. He's busy being stubborn.

You turn around when you hear porcelain clink. He's leaned over the dresser next to the bed, trying to take the tea.

"Levi," you scold.

"We don't need Hange to tell me my arms are in fine working condition," he grumbles, leaning back as you come over.

He's right, though. No one would even notice any arm wound because the bandages and plaster wrapping around his lower leg are bordering-on gaudy. It's propped up on a fat pillow, also white, the same as his soft-looking boxers and collared shirt (of which many buttons hang loose). In the glowing late afternoon, he looks ethereal, not quite of-this-world. A dove which is angry and stubborn and trapped.

"Still," you say quietly.

"I'm fine... I don't need anything."

Mikasa and Sasha had picked flowers, which you set in a watered glass jar atop the dresser. White again.

You watch him sip, and go over when he's done, laid propped up against pillows. A wooden bench at the side; you sat for hours while he slept through the day (the whole incident happened this morning). You sit on it now.

"I know... But why not want?" you repeat, quietly looking down at your hands.

"Who are we to want anything?"

You sharply look. "Why are you talking like this?"

He just watches you, shrewdly, but with a weakness not indicative of him. It might be exhaustion talking...

"We could always die. Titans could get in—"

"I'd kill them."

"Not like this..."

You said the wrong thing—the wrongest thing. His lips press into a thin line, barely-concealed contempt and clean daggers for eyes. The way he looks, like he believes if he tensed up enough, then he'd turn invisible and leave this argument in the dust.

You gesture slightly. "Because I would protect you. Even if I wasn't one of your comrades, or a soldier."

His lip twists in a unique disgust, which is the most you can see, his head turned towards the wall. Over his stomach, his hand tightens into a fist. "If you weren't, you'd die. Then I'd be dead anyway."

You swallow. You want to yell, and cry.

"I don't want that, either way. You didn't deserve to... see me like that. That seems to be why I'm talking like this."

The anger has left him. Delicately, you stand and seat yourself on the edge of the bed by his waist. "I've seen you be lots of things. 'Weak' is okay too. And I'm okay with seeing you like that as many time as I must, which is once so far."

He scoffs softly through his nose.

You lean forward more, and walk your fingers through his hair. Blacker than night, soft. There's a little piece you tuck behind his ear. His eyes flutter, letting out a deep breath. You can almost see the goosebumps.

"I know we'll die, and I know we belong to something much bigger, but can't I love you anyway?"

His breathing hitches a little, and his eyes open. It's a wonder what he's thinking, if he's even thinking about it, his adam's apple bobbing.

"Do whatever you want. I'm fine, if it's possible I can be with you."

It's your heart's turn to flutter, and just as soon, lean over awkwardly, your head resting on his chest and your arms around him (at least as much as they can be). You hear his heartbeat. The slowing, smooth rhythm of his choppy breathing carrying your upper half. His arm slips around your waist, content to rest his lips in your hair. As the time passes, he's more and more comfortable to hold you to tame the fear his anger betrayed. By that time, your arm's fallen asleep; you rub his side.

As tempting as it is to go down to the mess crowded for dinner, and contend with questions, you stay, just appreciating existing next to him.

"Your back," he mutters. You've been bent over a while.

"Mm." He's officially being ignored.

His hand slips over yours on his side, stopping you. His face doesn't give anything away, maybe purposefully so, and so you smile.

Leaning up, a fond kiss to his cheek. "You're cute when you make that face. Is your leg feeling okay?"

He clicks his tongue mildly with his head turned out, just showing you his cheek and one blue-grey eye. "'m fine," he says quietly.

Curious eyes search. Maybe he's downplaying something, but not lying. With nothing you'd rather do, you kiss down his jaw now, to the tender, pale column of his neck. His chest lifts suddenly against yours.

His question sounds like an afterthought. "What're you doing?"

"'m loving you," you lift your lips to say. (A little embarrassing to say out loud.)

"Yeah." His lips are still in your hair, but are stirring.

You remember he has your hand when he starts bringing them down. All across your upper half, you feel him breathing, and it's a little deeper.

You switch sides, putting you at an awkward angle to kiss him. He starts to move over towards the wall, but you stop him with a firm hum fast enough, and sit up. No walking, Moblit had told him firmly. What you kind of wish he'd said now is no moving his legs. For now you ignore it pushing snugly against the front of his boxers, but there's a wisp of a giggle in your chest.

You shift the pillow carefully, and he follows, until there's enough room for you there beside him. The mattress is only half-decent, but it's warm from his body.

He looks annoyed that you're smirking, if only he could come off the slightest bit intimidating blushing so hard like this. Pink warmth creeps down his neck and disappears beneath his open, rumpled collar.

"Tch." He just captures the nape of your neck and pulls your lips against his—a little slowly that comes with tiredness, but that much more passionately.

While you play with his lips, giving him away to you, your palm roams between his thighs. You pause there. Right as he shivers with his lip trapped between your teeth, you pull away and leer over him. "Don't move, baby. Move and I'll stop."

His eyes narrow in a bratty display.

"I mean it." You smile. "Even a touch" You stroke through his clothes slow and firm, immediately bringing a dreaming-like quality to his eyes. He almost can't look at you, especially as he huffs and it throbs under you.

"Baby?" You lick your thumb.

"I won't move." He huffs again, harsher this time. "Ugh, I won't fucking move, but you can't just—"

Your free hand, your thumb, falls against his jaw and stops his soft lips from flapping, so now a whole new quality of lust emerges in his expression. You're freeing his cock from his shorts as he instantly takes you in, so soft and sweet and giving. The heat that immediately consumes your thumb is melting, almost too intense to handle.

"Good boy, letting me."

His eyes flutter as you find where wetness has drooled from the tip of his stiff cock, spreading it around in your palm. It's easy to hold him, how he was made for you, and even easier to touch him to attract his hips, and the beginning of whispered whines he always always tries to suppress.

He hasn't forgotten, though. At the moment you send him a warning look, he relaxes, and his eyes are closed. You didn't notice him take hold of your wrist, holding just to hold, and gripping the front of his shirt with the other hand, since you're not close enough.

"Good boy," you murmur again. A moan vibrates round your thumb, his cock straining in your fist. "That's my good boy..."

It seems all the squirming he doesn't do has to go towards suckling and nipping your thumb instead. You watch his brows furrowed in deep focus as you build up your firm strokes. It's getting just as wet. He can't last.

You smile to yourself as your pumps rise to his tip, firm but quick flicks of your wrist. His back bows against the bed, the moan in his throat breaking apart into a whine. That aside, he stays perfectly still, so you let it slide.

"Does it feel that good when I touch you? Going to come, sweetheart?"

"Mm," his voice comes firm and tightly-wound. His eyes open into slight slits, see you watching shamelessly, and shut again. "Mm!"

Just as he throbs and tenses up. You bend over gripping down low, abruptly tearing your hand away from his mouth to sink his cock inside yours; pinning his hips, rubbing his heavy balls in your grasp.

"F-Fuck, fuckfuck!" He takes sudden, almost too-tight hold of your hair, gasping, and tearing the sheet, and shuddering. He moans all through it, broken whispers of your name, almost hummed at the top of his throat at the quietest, and always eagerly throbbing in the hot suction of your mouth. You take everything in deep swallows.

When finally, his hips are threatening to squirm to shy away and his cock softening, you pull off. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand as he melts into the sheets. He has half of his bright red face hiding under his arm, catching his breath.

"Fuck, I don't know how you expected me to stay still. Come here." He lowers his arm.

"For the mess." You smile sweetly.

"Come here."

"You're not doing anything." But you do, and let him give you a kiss. He looks extremely unhappy about that, but for once, it looks like he'll listen when you say.

Levi masterlist | main masterlist

[xomakara]

Crash Landing

SUMMARY | You meet Jungwoo in a space station and you both instantly hit it off. PAIRING | Jungwoo/Reader GENRE | space theme au, smut with little (?) plot, unprotected sex (wrap it up everyone!), oral sex (both male/female receiving/giving), general perversion RATING | Mature LENGTH | 6,466 words AUTHOR’S NOTE | Debating on making a part 2 or like a space theme series or something. Like I don’t think I’ve delved deep enough into the space lore haha. Was it weird to have that space/alien fight in the middle of the chapter? No idea. I’ve played to  much Mass Effect lately so I was kind of, sort of, inspired to write this.

What do ya’ll think? A part 2 or like a series? Maybe a different pairing? IDK lol.

You open your eyes and stared at the white interior of the suite you inhabited. All white with no colors...how boring. You let out a sigh and swung your feet over the bed, not having slept for nearly two days straight. Even after a nap of a few hours, you were still very tired.

You walked towards the door of your room, the automatic door opening when you reached it. As you stepped out of your suite, you peered down the halls of the space station that you were residing in until your next mission could be scheduled. Nothing interesting ever happened on board this station; people came and went, making it their home base while they completed various missions all over the galaxy, but most didn't even spend more than a week here before they were off again. It was just an orbital station that housed different ships when they weren't traveling around.

However, when people came here, they usually came to be seen by many other space travelers and scientists as well as rich merchants who wanted to conduct business deals in private areas and who had lots of money to do so. For these reasons, it was quite crowded.

"Maybe I'll go stop by the bar and see if there's any exciting events happening." You thought aloud to yourself as you made your way through the corridors towards the main lobby.

You continued walking until you entered the main room where the bar stood. Although you hadn't been able to spot anything remotely interesting, you hoped that maybe you'd find something tonight. You walked up to the counter and ordered a drink, the bartender knowing exactly what you wanted since he had served you before and already knew your preferences. He soon handed you your drink, leaning against the counter as his co-worker manned the bar.

"Anything interesting happened? Do you know?" You asked the bartender, noticing his gaze shift from you to the wall behind him, likely looking for news. The bartender chuckled lightly and shook his head.

"Nothing really. We have a couple of freighter pilots from one of the smaller colonies arriving later today to sign paperwork, but other than that, nothing much is going on here."

You nodded in understanding, sitting down at a nearby table as you began sipping on your drink. A feeling of boredom consumed you once again as you sat there, your thoughts drifting away into a distant land. After a short time, the bartender placed another drink in front of you.

"Thanks." You said, smiling slightly at the bartender as you took another sip of your drink. You began wondering about something and looked around the room. Not seeing anyone that might help, you spoke out loud. "Hey..."

The bartender immediately turned his attention back to you and smiled. "Yeah?"

"I'm wondering...do you have any other information that might be useful? I came for adventure and just being stuck in Neo Station for too long is making me a little stir crazy."

"Hmm, what kind of adventures are you wanting to get into?" The bartender curiously asked.

"Oh, just some sort of excitement. Anything would do, really." You said cheerfully. "Do you happen to know of anyone that might have a job for me? I am an experienced fighter and strategist. I can pretty much take on any mission if it comes to it."

"Not that I know. But maybe one of the merchants might know." The bartender said. "Oh, Neo Security might have some jobs if you're inclined to get into those sorts of things. They don't pay much, though."

"I'm not so worried about the pay," you laughed as you made your way out of the bar. "It's all about the adventure and experience!"

You quickly made your way outside, stepping onto the walkway towards the large window of the station. Before you got to the window however, you stopped, gazing out into space for a moment, admiring how beautiful it truly was. All of the stars, planets, nebulas and countless other galaxies stretched far out beyond the reaches of human sight, each individual one unique in its own way. It was amazing to think that each star system contained life forms, from tiny single cell organisms to the huge, multi-planeted species like yourselves.

The possibilities seemed endless.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" A male voice said next to you.

You looked up to see a very handsome male looking out the large window with you. You blushed softly as you gazed upon him, instantly becoming more attracted to him than you were to most others, although you tried your best to hide it. You smiled at him and spoke. "Yes, it is beautiful. So vast. I feel like I've only scratched the surface of everything that's out there."

He smiled at you, nodding. "Indeed. Humans will never fully understand how large our universe actually is, and I don't believe we'll ever reach it. But I guess that's why we should appreciate it as much as we can now."

You both stared out into space, listening to the noises coming from the station filled with human and alien species alike. After a minute or two, you turned back to face him. "I'm Y/N, by the way."

"Jungwoo. Nice to meet you, Y/N." Jungwoo said, extending his hand towards you.

You smiled at him and took his hand in yours. "Likewise, Jungwoo."

"So, what are you doing out here alone, Y/N?" Jungwoo questioned.

You shrugged and sighed, not meeting Jungwoo's eyes. "I'm bored and haven't done anything interesting lately."

"Really? What kinds of things do you normally do?" Jungwoo inquired.

"Well, normally I would go exploring a new planet and look for animals and plant life that humans have yet to discover. All the while, making sure humanity is safe and keeping the peace. Unfortunately, since my ship is in maintenance right now, there aren't many places to go." You replied sadly. "And I have no idea where my crew went."

Jungwoo nodded in understanding, a smile on his face. "I understand completely. My crew always has trouble finding places to explore whenever we visit a new planet, either because we're restricted or we just simply run out of places to look."

"That's why I love exploration. You just never know what you're going to find, do you?" You grinned widely.

Jungwoo grinned back at you and shook his head. "No, you don't. That's what makes it fun!"

After exchanging pleasantries, you and Jungwoo spent the rest of the night talking about your hobbies and interests, trying to make conversation and pass the time until your ship was repaired. At the end of the evening, Jungwoo gave you his number in case you needed a companion or company on future excursions.

"Thank you for talking with me tonight, Jungwoo. It really helped pass the time." You said happily, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

He grabbed your wrist gently, stopping you from leaving. "Let me ask you something first." He stated firmly.

You frowned and furrowed your eyebrows. "Okay. What is it?"

Jungwoo ran his thumb along the inside of your wrist. "Are you just as attracted to me as I am to you? Because if you are, then maybe this night doesn't have to end right here."

Your heart skipped a beat and your breath caught in your throat. Your mind began racing with a million different possibilities, many of them leading to unspeakable sexual encounters between the two of you. You felt the heat rise in your cheeks and Jungwoo noticed.

"Y/N?" He inquired, giving you a warm smile.

You nodded slowly, unable to speak. Jungwoo leaned closer, closing the gap between your lips. With a soft moan escaping your mouth, your lips parted slightly and Jungwoo slid his tongue across your lips, gently stroking it before you slowly opened your mouth. His tongue darted into your mouth, exploring every inch, as you kissed him back eagerly.

Jungwoo pulled away, grinning widely. "So? Are you just as attracted to me as I am to you?"

You looked at him, a coy grin forming on your face. "I think you know the answer to that question, Jungwoo."

"Good." He whispered softly. "Because you are extremely attractive."

A blush appeared on your face, making you become flushed as Jungwoo slowly backed away, running his fingers through his hair as he looked at you with lustful eyes. No one else was around but you grabbed his hand and led him towards your suite.

"Where are we going?" Jungwoo whispered as he followed you closely, still clutching your hand tightly.

"You'll see in a minute." You replied as you led him towards your suite.

When you got inside, you pushed Jungwoo against the nearest wall, kissing him passionately as you unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off of him. Once you got it removed, you glanced at his chest and gasped softly.

"What is it?" He breathed softly, looking down at you.

You gazed up at him and whispered, "I love your body."

Jungwoo smirked and bit down gently on your bottom lip. "Has it been awhile since you had someone?"

"A long ass while," You moaned as his fingers trailed down your sides. "My squadmates not included. They never satisfied me sexually, which is a big part of what drives me to seek companionship elsewhere."

Jungwoo chuckled as he bent down to kiss you. "If you want, I could make sure you were completely satisfied. In fact, I guarantee it."

You smiled seductively at him, sliding your hands up his arms. "Can you?"

"You bet I can. Just give me permission." Jungwoo gazed down at you.

You smiled, leaning forward and pressing your lips against his, softly kissing him back. You pulled back after a few moments and nibbled on his lower lip. Jungwoo growled softly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer. You melted into him as he wrapped his arms around you tightly, guiding you backwards until your knees hit the bed.

You looked into his dark brown eyes and moved your lips over his. His kisses were gentle at first, but as they grew deeper, his kisses became passionate and urgent, wanting to devour your entire body. You responded, running your hands up and down his chest as he explored your body with his. You moaned softly as his hands slid underneath your shirt and caressed your bare skin. You looked into his eyes as he continued touching you, watching the passion growing within them. As his touches became bolder, your breathing became heavier. When he finally pulled your shirt off, you groaned loudly, your hands going to the buttons of his pants.

Once you had them undone, you reached inside and found his hardened member. He moaned in pleasure as you stroked him slowly, gently squeezing and moving his shaft around. Jungwoo closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations you were giving him. When he opened his eyes again, he saw that you were staring into his eyes intently. You lowered your head, pressing your lips against his erect penis, licking the tip of it gently. He moaned deeply as you did this. He grabbed your head and brought you closer, encouraging you to continue.

As you licked and sucked on him more aggressively, he let out a small whimper, tugging on your hair roughly. You moaned, continuing to work his penis with your hand, sucking harder on him. His moans grew louder and more intense as he pressed himself even harder into your mouth. Finally, when he couldn't take anymore, he pulled away, painting your face with his cum.

You licked his cum off of your lips, grinning as you watched his facial expressions. "Did I satisfy you?" You asked slyly.

"Oh god yes," He gasped, moving down your body to help discard the rest of your clothes. "And now it's your turn to be satisfied..."

"How was your rest, captain?" Haechan, your engineer, asked as he checked the equipment around you.

"Fine, thanks." You replied. "I finally managed to sleep after those two grueling days of not sleeping at all. How about you?"

Haechan shrugged. "I slept alright, I suppose. I was still tossing and turning a bit, but I managed to fall asleep eventually."

"At least you managed to sleep!" Renjun, your pilot and navigator, called from the cockpit. "Me, I was just laying there staring at the ceiling and trying to count sheep. Tried to stay awake all day yesterday, but I failed miserably. There's nothing worse than being extremely exhausted and then not being able to sleep at all!"

"Tell me about it." Winwin, your medic, added as he tried to stifle a yawn. "As soon as I try to sleep, my mind starts racing with ideas and worries and I can't get rid of them. I've been waking up every hour or so and laying awake for awhile, only to finally drift off to sleep again after a few hours."

Everyone paused in their work for a brief moment to discuss how they all slept. It was nice to hear that everyone else was struggling with similar issues. At least you weren't alone. You let out a small chuckle, watching as Haechan and Renjun bickered quietly.

"Where's the rest of the team?" You inquired, looking around. Everyone else seemed busy with their duties and you couldn't see anyone else.

"They went to collect some cargo." Winwin replied, reading off a holographic screen that displayed the list of supplies that they needed to gather. "I think Mark and Jaehyun went to get some weapons and armor while Doyoung and Taeyong went to collect medical supplies. Johnny went to stock up on food."

"And Jaemin? Where is he?" You asked.

Haechan chuckled, shaking his head. "Weird kid doesn't seem interested in helping us gather supplies. Seems like he wants to go take care of something else first. Maybe he found a cute little animal he wants to bring back."

Everyone chuckled at this.

"If that's the case, then I hope it isn't a rat or something." Renjun said, pointing his finger at Haechan. "I'm tired of him always bringing back rodents and bugs as pets."

You let out a sigh. "Hey, as long as he doesn't shoot me and his squadmates in the back, I don't care. Let the weird kids do whatever they want, as long as they're helpful. Don't worry, we won't hold it against them."

Everyone slowly nodded their heads and resumed their tasks, which included cleaning and setting up various supplies in preparation for the upcoming expedition. You let out a sigh of relief as you worked alongside your crewmates. At least everything was getting done. As you finished organizing the rest of the supplies, you sent a message to everyone.

"Alright guys, we're almost ready. Everything seems to be set up and in order. Should be going out soon. Crew, keep an eye out for anything suspicious or unusual, okay? Squad, arm yourself with your weaponry and be prepared for battle."

You heard a series of responses throughout the ship, everyone agreeing to your instructions and telling you they were ready for the task ahead.

Finally, you heard your squadmate and science officer, Doyoung, reply. "We're ready, captain! Weapons are loaded and all equipment is operational. We're waiting on everyone else to finish gathering supplies before we leave."

With everyone on board, you gave the signal to launch the vessel, and it began floating upwards into space. Once it had cleared the station, you gave the command to accelerate and left the station behind.

You were mindlessly walking around your ship, performing maintenance and such when you heard someone call your name. Looking up, you saw Johnny, one of your squadmates and your second-in-command, standing at the door to the bridge, wearing a wide grin on his face. "So I heard that you met someone new yesterday. Any details?"

You chuckled at his teasing and shook your head. "Who's asking?"

"You met someone?" Mark, another squadmate and everythingman, asked as he joined Johnny in the doorway. "I thought you were staying in your suite all day?"

"I stopped by the bar last night and met this guy." You explained, walking into the bridge. "Why are you all suddenly curious about who I met? Scared that I might run off with him or something?"

"And leave this wonderful crew behind? No way." Taeyong, the cook and cultural advisor, chimed in. "Come on, tell us about this mysterious man. Did ya'll fuck?"

"Oh come on, none of you will even admit to being jealous that I may have met someone else?" You said, rolling your eyes.

Jaehyun, a squadmate and quartermaster, immediately shook his head and held up his hands in protest. "Not me! Honest! Of course I'd be happy for you if you met someone."

Renjun glared at Jaehyun. "Says the guy that always wants to fuck Y/N after a mission."

Haechan raised an eyebrow and smiled at Renjun. "And you know this because..."

"I have eyes and ears." Renjun scoffed. "Jaehyun's always sniffing around Y/N after missions, so naturally I've seen and heard quite a bit."

You rubbed your temples. You were the only female amongst a crew and squad of horny males. It was a wonder any of you could maintain a level head at all times. Fortunately, you hadn't encountered too many difficulties with your relationships. Sure, you've slept with some of your squadmates, but you've never gotten emotionally attached to anyone.

Not yet, anyway.

You looked around the bridge, watching your crew and squadmates interact with each other. They were all so friendly and caring, despite their varying backgrounds and personalities. You had originally been afraid of interacting with the rest of your crew, considering your coveted status as a Neo operative and the constant scrutiny that came along with it. However, it seemed like none of that mattered to the others. They welcomed you with open arms, accepting you for who you were. And you were glad for that. You didn't need any special treatment. Just to be treated as an equal, and you felt like they did just that. You wouldn't trade these people for anything.

"Hey," you said softly, causing everyone to turn and look at you. "You guys are the best crew and squad that I could ever ask for. I wouldn't trade you guys or run off with any other team for the world. We've been through a lot of shit together, and I couldn't imagine doing this without you."

A smile broke across all of their faces, their smiles growing wider as they watched you continue speaking.

"And even though we haven't known each other very long, you've become family to me. And I'm thankful that you're willing to put up with me and my bullshit."

"The amount of trouble you put us through," Jaemin, another squadmate and technician, laughed, holding his stomach. "But hey, we're used to it by now."

Johnny punched Jaemin in the shoulder playfully. "And you love every second of it."

Everyone continued laughing and joking with each other as you made your way over to the main console to start checking on all the systems on the ship. The others joined you as you inspected and ran tests on various components, making sure everything was working properly. While you were focused on monitoring the systems, a notification appeared on the holographic display next to you.

"Captain, one of our sensors detected something out of the ordinary coming from the surface of the planet below." Haechan called out. "It looks like the coordinates for a shuttle bay. Something strange is definitely going on."

You stood up and walked towards the viewport. All the other members of your crew gathered around you, curiously watching as you peered down onto the planet below.

"There's no doubt about it." You muttered. "Something's wrong down there."

You watched intently as you saw the faint outline of a spaceship hovering above the shuttle bay. You could barely make out what the thing was; it was far away and it was hard to distinguish. But you knew exactly what it was. You were intimately familiar with every spaceship design that existed within the Alliance.

This wasn't one of the Alliance ships. It wasn't even close. You had no idea where this thing had come from, but there was no doubt that it wasn't friendly. A shiver passed through your body, causing you to lean closer to the viewing window.

"Renjun, take us closer to the shuttle bay." You ordered. "Get us as close as possible without getting shot down."

"Copy that, captain." He responded.

"Doyoung and Taeyong, initiate the ships defense. Make sure we aren't caught off guard." You added.

"On it." Doyoung confirmed.

"Haechan, begin a scan on the area. Find out what we're dealing with."

"Got it." Haechan responded.

"Winwin, standby unless needed." You instructed your medic. You turned back to the rest of your crew. "The rest of you, loadout all weapons and equipment. Arm yourselves and get ready for battle. Squad, let's go find ourselves some answers."

Your orders were quickly carried out, and you and your team silently headed out of the room and down the hallway to the hangar deck. When you reached the bottom floor, you opened the large doors and stepped outside, followed by the rest of your squad. You and your squadmates took up defensive positions as you scanned the area with your visors.

It was then that you spotted several black dots moving around in the distance. They seemed to be approaching the shuttle bay and were probably heading inside.

"Scans indicate that there are four lifeforms nearby." Doyoung reported. "Two of them appear to be armed with standard rifles and pistols, the other two are carrying automatic assault rifles. No idea what they are."

You glanced over at your squad. Their expressions were grim. Not only were you uncertain about whether these beings would be friendly, but you weren't even entirely sure how dangerous they were.

"Alright everyone," you began. "Standby and be alert. We'll figure this out as fast as we can. In the meantime, just stay quiet and wait for my commands."

They all nodded their heads in understanding and stood perfectly still, waiting for further instruction.

As the black dots approached, you began taking careful steps backwards. They seemed harmless enough, but you were not taking any chances. One wrong move and it could lead to disaster. Fortunately, the other members of your squad stayed alert and were able to act accordingly. When the black dots were close enough, a series of bullets zipped past you, narrowly missing you. Without hesitation, the aliens fired back, riddling the surface of your ship with blaster bolts.

"Fuck!" Mark cursed loudly. "These things aren't fucking around!"

"Mark, Jaehyun! To the left! Johnny, Jaemin! To the right! Come on, move!" You yelled. Your squad instantly complied and moved swiftly, ducking and weaving between the different sets of walls, leaving the invaders exposed. A few more shots rang out, tearing apart pieces of the hull and a couple of windows. You were lucky that your shields absorbed most of the damage, otherwise it could have been catastrophic.

"Okay, let's move. Squad, split up and cover all sides. We don't want these guys sneaking up on us while we're spread out."

"On it, captain!" Both Jaemin and Jaehyun acknowledged. As the squad split up, you moved towards the closest wall and crouched down, allowing your bulk to shield you from any stray blaster bolts. After listening closely, you determined that the enemy was on the other side of the building, trying to figure out where you and your crew were hiding.

You grabbed a grenade launcher and waited for your comrades to return to their posts before setting off towards the closest wall. You slowly peeked over the top of the building, your eyes trained on the other side. Several of the black dots were crouching behind the outer walls, apparently looking for you. However, the rest of them were either huddled together or stood alone in small groups, watching the building, almost as if they expected you to come out of hiding.

Taking careful aim, you lobbed the grenade towards the building where the majority of the black dots were located. You threw it as hard as you could and prayed that it would do some damage. When the grenade exploded, all hell broke loose. Dozens of blasts rang out, and several of the black dots went flying into the air. Before you could even react, the others dropped their guns and tried to flee, but were intercepted by your teammates. You witnessed some fierce hand-to-hand combat, with everyone involved using every weapon at their disposal.

Several aliens got thrown around and pinned to the ground, but soon enough, you and your team managed to hold the line and stop the attack. When it was all over, you breathed a sigh of relief and gazed around, assessing the damage. You were surprised that your squad managed to defeat so many enemies so easily. You guessed that these aliens were only the tip of the iceberg, and that it would be impossible to hold off such a large number of foes without help.

After collecting your thoughts, you radioed Renjun and the rest of your squad. "Alright guys, the fight is over. Everyone get some rest and reload your weapons. Let's keep a low profile until the coast is clear."

All of your orders were immediately obeyed, and your entire crew headed back inside to get some much needed rest. You checked your gun again, ensuring that it was fully loaded and that your grenade launcher was still operational. Despite the fact that your squad held the enemy off easily, you were certain that it was only a matter of time before they regrouped and tried to attack again. At least this time they won't have the element of surprise.

Hopefully.

“Finally back in Neo Station!” Mark called out as he walked off the ship. “I’m gonna take a long ass nap in the barracks until the next mission.”

After hours of killing aliens and avoiding being killed by alien weaponry, your squad was finally back on Neo Station. You were eager to check on the status of your ship, and see if any of the damages made on the ship could be repaired. It seemed like a good idea to have an experienced mechanic inspect the ship once the adrenaline wore off. Luckily, Haechan and Jaemin were able to examine your ship and give you a report on what repairs might be necessary.

Renjun groaned, stretching his limbs. “Same. I’m gonna try to get some sleep.”

“You’ve been cranky man.” Haechan laughed as he joined the two. “Sleep will do us good.”

“I’m heading to med bay to stock up on supplies.” Winwin muttered and turned to Doyoung. “Care to join me? The science wards are near there.”

“Sure.” Doyoung replied and headed in the same direction as Winwin.

“I’m gonna go hang out in the mess hall.” Taeyong ran off, leaving you with Jaehyun and Johnny. Jaemin seemed to have run off somewhere else.

“Weird guy.” Johnny commented as he watched the younger guy’s fading back.

“Leave the weird kids alone,” you playfully smacked Johnny’s arm. You looked at both him and Jaehyun. “What have you guys got planned?”

“Actually, we were hoping you might want to join us.” Jaehyun said with a smile.

“Really?” you questioned.

“Yeah.” Jaehyun smiled. “Let’s go have some fun, captain.”

"Lead the way."

You followed Jaehyun and Johnny towards a club that was filled with men and exotic female dancers of humans and alien species. There was a long bar at the front of the club that was decorated with dozens of drink bottles, and was surrounded by several seating areas, including couches and chairs. Some men sat alone in one of the booths, drinking themselves silly.

“A gentleman’s club?” You gave Jaehyun a look. “Really?”

“Of course it is! This is Neo Station after all. What did you expect?” Jaehyun teased.

“Some people prefer more subtle entertainment.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “Subtle entertainment? Like the night you met someone new?”

You rolled your eyes. “I meant drinking in a lounge or at the bar. Not a gentleman’s club.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Johnny asked. “This place is amazing!”

“If you say so.” You shrugged. “I should’ve gone with Taeyong to the mess hall…”

“Come on! I’ll buy you drinks all night!” Jaehyun insisted. “And girls! Lots and lots of girls!”

“You two can have the girls.” You looked around the club. “But I see some eye candy calling my name.”

Johnny looked in the same direction you were looking, a smirk on his face. “Ahhhh, so that’s your new friend? He’s handsome but not as handsome as me.”

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow before letting out a laugh. “We’re not going to see you in the next few days, are we?”

“Nope!” You nodded. “I’m gonna have fun tonight.”

Both Jaehyun and Johnny smirked at each other. “Have fun and use protection, captain.”

The two of them waved goodbye as you made your way through the crowd. When you finally found him, you noticed that he had already settled himself into a seat. The sight of you drew his attention, and he grinned widely when he saw you approach.

“Y/N,” Jungwoo greeted you as you sat beside him. He placed his hand on yours. “Weird place for you to show up at.”

You nodded over to your squad mates as they were watching a sexy alien woman dance seductively for the crowd. “My squadmates dragged me out here.”

“Not exactly your scene, is it?” Jungwoo asked as he slid a finger along the palm of your hand.

“As hot as the dancers are, they’re not my cup of tea.” You placed a hand on his knee. “You’re more my type.”

He smiled mischievously. “Had to come back for more, huh?”

You let out a laugh, slowly moving in closer to him. “It looks like it.”

He leaned in and gently kissed you. His lips were warm and inviting, which caused goosebumps to rise all over your body. You could feel yourself getting lost in the kiss, forgetting about everything else around you. He pulled away slightly and whispered in your ear. “Wanna get out of here?”

Your breath caught in your throat. “Oh god, yes.”

You led Jungwoo out of the club and into a nearby alleyway. It took several minutes to get there, and during that time, you continued kissing him fervently, enjoying every second of his embrace. When you reached the alleyway, you wrapped your arms around him tightly, causing him to chuckle.

“Don’t worry, no one’s coming.” He told you.

You paused for a moment. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” He replied with a grin.

Before you knew it, Jungwoo pushed you against the wall and pressed his lips against yours. You could taste his minty breath as he started to explore your mouth, slipping his tongue inside of your mouth to stroke against yours. You felt him push his hands under your shirt, running them up and down your bare stomach.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He moaned softly as he continued exploring your mouth. “You’re so beautiful.”

You couldn’t help but shiver at his words. Jungwoo was definitely a very handsome man, but hearing those words from him was making you weak in the knees. He stopped kissing you momentarily and looked deep into your eyes. “Let's head back to my place so that I can take care of you."

His tone left no room for argument. You simply nodded and allowed him to guide you out of the alley. You enjoyed the walk to his suite, mostly because it gave you time to calm your racing heart and regain your composure. Once you arrived at his suite, Jungwoo grabbed your hand and led you inside.

"You have a nice suite." You looked around the living area. It wasn't as luxurious as some of the places you've seen on Earth, but it was decent enough for an officer.

"Thanks." He smiled as he moved forward to wrap his arms around you. "It's nothing compared to your suite though. Nothing but the best for one of the best captains I know."

"I never told you that I was a captain...”

“Of course you never told me…” He leaned in close and kissed you again. “Didn't need to. I just know how great of a person you are.”

You melted at his words. The sexual tension between you and Jungwoo was practically combustible, and it wasn't hard to tell that he was just as attracted to you.

“How great?” You asked softly as he pushed you against the wall.

“Beyond great.” He nipped at your lower lip, causing you to whimper.

“Then prove it.” You whispered as he slipped his hand under your bra.

Jungwoo's lips traveled down your neck as he slowly unclasped your bra. Your skin felt like fire as he gently caressed your nipples.

“Fuck.” Jungwoo whispered. “I love these tits of yours.”

He ran his hands down your breasts, squeezing them softly. You moaned softly, allowing him to continue playing with your breasts.

He lifted your top up, exposing your bare stomach. His eyes lit up at the sight of your toned abs. With quick movements, he slipped off your top, sending your lacy black bra flying across the room. Jungwoo gazed down at your naked chest. His fingers traced their way down to your stomach, where he traced your abdomen with his fingertips. His touch sent chills throughout your entire body.

He lifted you to the countertop and slowly lowered his lips to your belly button. His tongue flicked against your sensitive skin, causing you to moan even louder. Jungwoo didn't stop there. He continued trailing kisses down your stomach, his hands at the band of your pants. With light tugging motions, he managed to pull them off of you. They fell onto the floor with a thud, leaving you sitting in only your panties. Jungwoo stood up straight and gave you another admiring look.

“Like what you see?” You questioned playfully.

“God damn, you're fucking gorgeous.” He growled as he ripped off his own clothes before dropping to his knees in front of you.

With quick movements, he spread your legs open and positioned himself between them. He tugged on your panties, pulling them down until they were pooled at your ankles.

“Now taste me,” You ordered as you grabbed hold of his hair and guided his face to your pussy.

He quickly obliged. His tongue snaked its way into your dripping pussy, causing you to let out a loud moan. His tongue moved in circles, swirling around your clit and flicking lightly against it. He paid extra attention to your sensitive spot, pleasuring you to the fullest.

When he felt that you were ready to cum, he brought his face back up to your clit. Using his fingers, he circled it lightly while rubbing it against your clit. You began to thrash your head back and forth, unable to contain your orgasm any longer. You screamed loudly as you came, sending vibrations through Jungwoo's head. He buried his face into your pussy as you cried out in pleasure.

After a few moments, he pulled his head from your pussy and quickly wiped his face with a napkin. “Fuck, I need to be inside you right now.”

He positioned himself between your legs and pushed himself inside of you. You groaned as you adjusted to his size.

“You’re so tight.” He panted as he held himself up by bracing his hands on the countertop underneath you. “Fucking tight.”

He continued thrusting slowly inside of you. You closed your eyes and concentrated on feeling every inch of his dick move within you.

“Does it feel good?” He asked after a minute of continuous thrusting.

“Oh my god, yes!” You moaned. “Keep doing that. Fuck, don’t stop.”

Jungwoo let out a small laugh. “There will be plenty more if you keep begging like that.”

He slowly increased his pace, allowing you to enjoy every second of his large cock penetrating your tight pussy. Soon enough, he picked up the pace again, increasing his speed.

“Do you feel good, Jungwoo?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Feelings mutual.” He gasped as he pounded harder and faster inside of you.

You bit your lip as he pounded his dick into you. It felt so good having his cock slide in and out of your pussy. His hips moved forcefully, driving his cock deeper inside of you. You bit your lip again, trying to fight off your impending orgasm.

“Cum for me, Y/N. Cum on my dick.” He grunted.

You obeyed his command without hesitation. “Fuck! Jungwoo!”

Your body shook violently as your orgasm swept through you. Your entire body tightened, causing you to scream out in ecstasy. Jungwoo moaned as he drove himself even deeper into you, continuing his powerful thrusts.

As you recovered from your orgasm, you opened your eyes and saw Jungwoo looking back at you with lust filled eyes. He began licking his lips as his gaze shifted from your eyes to your lips.

“Want to go again?” You whispered, knowing that you had more energy than before.

He smirked and nodded his head. “Why not?”

He lifted you from the countertop and carried you into the bedroom. Once he laid you down on the bed, he crawled on top of you.

“You’re looking at me funny. What? Did I do something wrong?” You asked innocently.

“Would your squad mates kill me if I said that I wanted to join you on your adventures?” He asked.

“What makes you think that?” You asked back, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I really like you, Y/N and I want to keep seeing you. But it’s hard when we’re different missions and all that. That means no contact for weeks or months at a time.”

“So, what do you say? Will you let me tag along with you?” He wrapped his arms around you and pressed his lips against yours.

“I would really love that.” You returned the kiss and closed your eyes. “But I have one condition.”

“Name it.” He grinned.

“That you fuck me in every position you possibly can.”

He laughed. “Let’s crash land on the nearest inhabitable planet. I’m ready to make your dreams come true.”

[theanxiousghostartist]

TMAGP 25 SPOILERS

(Reactions and Theories)

Pre-Case (Sam/Alice chat):

I'm glad Sam and Alice are finally communicating! Sam explained to Alice how he feels like she is overbearing, especially when worrying about Sam. So many problems could be solved with communication, and I'm glad they're getting along again.

Also, Celia is asking Sam to reassure Alice was so cute.

Case:

This case disgusted me, I was nauseous the entire time. I don't think a case or statement has affected me that much, ever. I hated it, but that's the goal of horror, so I'm not upset about it, lol.

It definitely reads Corruption, but maybe with Web in it as well? I don't have many notes about this case because, well, I hate thinking about the case lol.

Overall, I think the Hungry Man Grill works similar to the Distortion's Hallways or Hilltop Road in TMA as a certified location for the fears to feed.

It could also be a breeding place for Avatars. The hunger that Harte felt was definitely unnatural for their situation. Perhaps it wasn't a human hunger at all - perhaps it was the hunger for fear. Maybe the people that escape this place are meant to Become, while the rest are used as feeding.

(I might add on to this later, once I've processed everything, but IDK)

Post- Case -

Colin:

Woo! He's back and alive!

He reminds me of S2 Jonathan "Supplemental - I broke into Gertrude's Flat" Sims here. He just wants to save everyone, like he said, and he believes FR3D1 is the one causing everything (the fears, the externals, [Error], ect), and therefore, it must be destroyed. It's odd to me, though, that he didn't go directly to the servers, FR3D1's main system, and instead targeted the computers. If he really wanted to destroy FR3D1, why go to the extension instead of the head?

There are two reasons he could have done this:

1. (The most likely imo) - He wanted to protect the others. By destroying all the computers first (and probably their phones/other technology), he could safely explain what was going on and then destroy the server. If Alice believed him, it would satisfy that small part in him that's questioning if he's just crazy. I pinpoint Alice here because we know she's much closer to Colin than Sam. Therefore, if she believed her, it would be more reassurance for him than if Sam believed him. Furthermore, if he destroyed their computers, he could, in theory, destroy any influence Fr3D1 has over them.

2. He was compelled to, in order to minimize damage. Colin was compelled by someone ( who could've been Fr3D1 (I'm pretty sure it's an entity of some kind itself), Lena (while she did seem surprised about Colin, she didn't seem too worried about the servers, only the initial computers), Jon/Martin/Jonah (who I'm theorizing are trapped in the computer, and thus, could manipulate the systems (as we've seen with cases popping up for specific people) and possibly outside figures close to the system via the compute), [Error], or some other force we have not met yet). If the damage Colin did was minimized, it would dave Fr3D1 and the overall function of the OIAR.

Group Chat:

Lena speaking to the group with a tired mother tone was very funny to me; I love the interactions in this series so much!

I'm glad people are worried for Colin - thank you, Alice and Sam (although, arguably, Sam is more worried about the information Colin provided than Colin himself, which is very Web vibes).

"I thought he might hurt Alice" - awww

Gwen seems to be agreeing with Lena, a lot, which is kinda put of character for her - I wonder what her plan is...

"While I understand your concerns [Sam], there is no way we can realistically act upon them." Lena's higher-ups have something to do with this, don't they? I wonder if Lena is trying to protect Sam by shutting down his worries. Maybe she was doing the same with Colin?

The server is essential for the OIAR? I wonder if she means more than just cases? Perhaps it serves as a way to find future Externals (like INK5OUL and [Error]). Maybe it also serves as a way to keep tabs on Lena?

Celia:

Celia is in Oxford again, and her teleporting/sleepwalking seems to be getting more and more frequent. I've been wondering for a while - why now? Why would she go looking for everyone (besides Georgie) now, when she had time to do it before?

Maybe it's because her "late-night travels" to Oxford are getting more and more frequent (as supproted by her thoughts at the end of the episode and Lena being concerned about her absences affecting her work). Perhaps she thought she had more time, but now- now, "her self" is rejecting being in this new universe and is taking her to the portal to go back. She can't stay here long because eventually, she will be pushed back to somewhere (maybe not even her home universe).

I called "her self" because I'm not quite sure if I should describe it as a soul or her unconscious or something else, but with the themes of self in many cases, it seems fitting to call it "her self."

(Sorry for the tangent!/gen)

I loved the character interactions in this episode! Very fun stuff. Although the case disgusted me completely, it was really good.

[animeomegas]

Incorrigible - Baxter x GN! Reader

For the other Baxter simps who have been filling my inbox with the good stuff, this is for you ;)

Baxter x GN!Reader - Set immediately after the epilogue, before MC goes back to their home.

Warnings: Very suggestive. This is not a/b/o btw. Also, idk why but I'm so embarrassed to post this kjdsfhsafsfg

...

It was strange to have found Baxter again after so long, only to have to return to your home less than a week later.

Staying with him in his apartment had felt so natural. If the last week had taught you anything it was that you and Baxter naturally orbited towards each other, like magnets powered only by chemistry and thinly veiled sexual tension.

Fate obviously wanted you together, and finally, finally, Baxter had given in.

But tonight was your final night staying with him, at least for now. No matter how much you didn't want to leave, you had responsibilities, work, a whole manner of adult things that needed tending to back in your everyday life. Not to mention Baxter had his own things to do, mainly a long list of new weddings to plan, something you certainly didn't envy him for.

But despite the fact that you'd already planned Baxter coming to stay with you about a month from now, you were upset to leave. You had to admit part of those feelings were probably left over from the last time you'd parted for a significant amount of time, but regardless of their origin, the feelings were real.

You had a sneaking suspicion that Baxter felt the same way; you'd gone to bed together an hour ago and still, neither of you had made any attempts to fall asleep. You were just laying on his chest, drawing patterns on the visible skin of his wrist. You could hear from his heartbeat that he was equally as awake.

Being this close to him forced a thought to pop up in your head, and you were too tired for your filter to stop it from being vocalised.

"I'm glad we haven't had sex yet."

You felt Baxter's chest freeze for a moment as he stopped breathing. You had caught him off guard, but only briefly, because the moment quickly passed and he soon resumed breathing and answered you.

"Oh?" he said, voice teasing. You could imagine the smirk that must be sitting on his face. "And why is that?"

Any embarrassment you felt at blurting out such a statement was overcome by the burning desire to wipe that smirk off his face.

"Because," you started, sitting up and turning around until you were hovering over him. You held yourself up with one hand and cupped his face with the other, before you slowly shifted the second hand down to his chin, before flitting your fingers gently onto his neck. As you reached his throat, he swallowed heavily, the smirk melting away, replaced by a light blush.

"Because?" he whispered, voice husky and eyes lidded.

"Because I have a feeling," you continued, speaking softly. "That the moment I get to touch you, all of you, I might-" you pressed a feather light kiss to his throat- "just-" you moved slightly further down and pressed another one on his warm skin- "become obsessed."

With the final word you pressed a kiss onto the mole on his neck, delighting in the way he shivered under you.

"If I got a taste of you now," you pulled away and ran your palm down his chest, deftly undoing the top three buttons of his pyjama shirt. His heart was beating wildly. "I'd need at least a week before I could let you out of my clutches."

"That would be quite the excuse to explain my absence to my clients," he tried to tease, but the breathlessness in his voice undermined him, as you slipped your hand beneath his shirt until your fingers were resting in between his pecs.

"Oh, believe me, Baxter, you won't be in a position to explain anything. That's a promise."

His gazed up at you with lidded eyes and you were struck by how beautiful he was. Baxter had a hold on you that you couldn't escape from. Something of a grin had settled back onto his face now, but you were more focused on the cloudy lust you could see in his eyes. Unfortunately, the moment couldn't last forever. His wild grin melted into something softer.

"I'll hold you to that," he said, gently pushing you away. He grabbed the hand on his chest with one of his and threaded your fingers together. You were forced to cease your ministrations and allow him to rebutton his shirt with his other hand. You understood his actions for what they were, though. He wasn't saying that he didn't enjoy your attention, quite the opposite, he was showing you that any further attention and your plan to wait might fall to pieces. "But as you said, now is not the moment."

You sighed loudly, but acquiesced, leaning away from him as much as your joint hands would comfortable allow. Baxter smiled up at you, cheeks still flushed.

"Don't look so disappointed," he grinned, leaning up to peck you on the lips. His lips were warm and soft and the spark the kiss lit underneath you couldn't be dampened by a little awkward nose bumping from the angle you were at.

You pressed forward and re-joined your lips when he tried to pull away. You pulled that trick three times until he was fully reclined onto the pillows and you were back to hovering over him.

Seeing no further space for escape, Baxter gently grabbed your chin with his fingers and pulled you back. Your lips disconnected with a sad, but satisfying noise.

"You're incorrigible," Baxter said, looking at you fondly. "Utterly incorrigible."

"You love it," you shot back, settling back down on his chest, recognising that the game was finished.

"I do," he replied gently, running his thumb along the back of your still conjoined hands. "Very much."

You were going to miss him, truly and deeply. You were going to miss the little snort laugh you could pry out of him on occasion, you were going to miss the way he turned to you in times of stress or anxiety, and you were definitely going to miss the way his skin felt against yours.

"Stop thinking and sleep," Baxter said suddenly, squeezing your hand. "For some reason you decided to leave before 9 AM so you need to rest."

You laughed at the disgust in his voice at the early time you'd chosen to depart.

"You don't have to get up with me, Baxter, I've told you that already."

"It's no bother," he said through gritted teeth.

You only laughed harder at the blatant lie, but you had to admit that you were looking forwarding to seeing a sleepy, disorganised Baxter see you off; it was his cutest side after all.

Baxter managed to pretend to be offended for a couple more seconds before he joined you in laughing, his chuckles jolting your head as he did.

As the laughter in the room died down, you both lay contentedly in the silence. Distantly, you could hear the cars passing outside and the sound of a neighbour's door closing on the other side of the corridor. His bedding was very soft and you idly noted that you needed to buy some nicer bedding for you bed, to entice him to stay as long as possible.

"Baxter?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," he replied, gently resting his cheek on the top of your head. "We won't be apart for long this time, I promise."

[yuseirra]

Kamiki-Ai relationship: how they felt about each other(Going a bit wild this time)

here I am..way past bedtime going on about them yet AGAIN

Will I ever get tired of talking about them?? Well, the more I look into this as every new chapter drops,… idk..the guy turns out to be even milder than I thought he would, and it makes SENSE. It's been so fun and tense speculating about them lately. I have to say I'm becoming increasingly optimistic and tend to try and take things in a pretty good light; but I do see that sort of possibility with the two. If Mephisto and Fatal is Kamiki's song then at least he's DEVOTED.

SoOO this time, I went wild in my stream of consciousness earlier, and I found it really funny and worth sharing. I'd like to share it here, too! :) I hope you enjoy this positive take. I'd like to do it while it's still possible!

(translated using chatgpt4.0. I daren't write the entire thing again o<-<)

It seems like there’s a break this week~~ I feel at ease during break weeks.. lol. At least this week, whatever I write won’t be contradicted by new developments, right? lol

I’ve already written quite a lot about these two, and I’m sure I’ve written more logically in previous posts.

This time, I’m just writing based on intuition and feelings, without much structure (but sometimes, these are what actually ends up being more accurate in sense).

I think Ai found Kamiki really cute. Like how a mother would adore her children, she had that kind of affection for the character. Since they met when he was small, it probably made her feel that way even more. And we can see that in how she first pinched his cheeks when they met, and how she teased him by saying he seemed like a child and was cute when they went out to eat. When Kamiki hugs Ai (in chapters 146 and 153), the way he looks up at her makes Ai seem like the older sister, and it’s really like that. Despite only being a year apart, their relationship does have an older sister-younger brother dynamic. And at that age, a one-year difference can have a significant psychological impact, so it’s natural. Ai is the older sister, and because of that, Kamiki probably relied on her a lot (oh dear). Even now, that dynamic might still be there.. lol. If they were to meet again now, that dynamic might surprisingly still be present. I feel like the fact that both of Aqua’s heroines are a year older than him was a conscious choice, possibly influenced by this dynamic.

In my view, if you combine Aqua’s relationships with both heroines, you get Kamiki and Ai’s relationship.

When Akane talks about her feelings she has towards Aqua to Kana? Was it when they went to the beach? It’s chapter 149. She says she has a maternal-like affection for Aqua, and Ai probably felt something similar for Kamiki.

Oh, and Akane says she hopes Aqua gets a good job and gets into a good university... that she supports him in that way.

That might be one of the reasons Ai and Kamiki broke up... even if it wasn’t the main reason, it’s still there. The reason they ended up like that was because Ai wanted to protect him.

She probably also had that heart-fluttering affection for Kamiki, similar to how Kana feels about Aqua (though Ai’s personality is different from Kana’s, so she wouldn’t show it as outwardly bubbly. But who knows, chapter 140 makes me wonder. That was very similar to AquaKana, and Aqua denied that the movie was just a fabrication so she could have been outwardly affectionate as well- that chapter is what I frequently work with when I make fanarts as well).

The character has a tendency to dote on others. Early on, when she says her kids are geniuses and that you can’t hide genetics, it made me think. While Ai’s intelligence isn’t fully highlighted, Kamiki later started a company, didn’t he? Ai probably wasn’t unintelligent, but I think Kamiki may have been the more studious one. That comment might have been made with Kamiki in mind.

Even the fact that she named her children after jewels might have been influenced by Hikaru. The one who compared Hikaru to jewels in the story was Ai. The children’s hair color and features resemble their father, especially Aqua, who looks like a mini version of Hikaru (though oddly enough, Ruby seems to resemble him more the more you look). The fact that she put two characters for “love” in Aqua’s name, with the kanji for “longing” in between, could be because she thought of Kamiki when naming Aqua, who resembles him so much. Considering how much she liked that character, I think that’s quite likely. She really wanted to stay with him, but couldn’t.

Ai loves cute things. I think her first impression of her boyfriend was that he was a “cute boy.” And Kamiki, when he was younger, had those big round eyes and a gentler, more delicate appearance compared to Aqua (even now, he looks more “delicate” than “handsome” Aqua). If you look at his actions back then, he was an innocent kid in a tough situation with a pretty gentle nature...

So with Ai’s personality, I think it’s natural that her protective instincts would kick in. Ai likes taking care of others.

Even though she struggled with understanding what love is, she still showed affection by petting and hugging her kids with a smile. That’s just her nature (although being affectionate isn’t always essentially the same as being a good caregiver, I think it still helps a lot. Ai probably wanted to be a good mom and a good lover, and she likely worked hard for that). Looking at how she treats Kamiki, she often holds his hand and hugs him. She must have adored him. It seems like Kamiki didn’t realize it back then, but I think he came to realize after seeing the video and thought: “Oh, right... Ai really did treat me like that. How could I have believed that she didn’t love me...” and that’s why he broke down.

Ai wasn’t the type to express affection in a cheesy or overly cutesy way. She probably wasn’t very delicate or expressive, likely even blunt at times. She also couldn’t tell a white lie to save her life.

But there must have been silent expressions of affection, and when they were in a bright mood, they probably laughed together and had a “normal” good time. And for those two, having someone they could be “normal” with must have been very special. I’m not sure if I should mention this, but they probably didn’t only sleep together once, considering how the kids were conceived. The dialogue suggests it wasn’t just once. They were very affectionate together, then (They were so young though... Goodness...Kids need better sex education in schools... I’m really worried there might be kids like this in real life. I hope everyone will be okay.)

Let’s stop here with Ai and move on to Kamiki’s side.

If we delve into the meta and even bring up mythology, the god who inspired this character is described as someone who guides souls to purity. And it makes sense. He seems genuinely kind by nature, and it actually doesn’t seem like that’s changed much.

When you look at this character’s dialogue, it’s very gentle...

And he trusts people too easily. The whole situation with Ai also happened because he took her words at face value and believed them. It seems like he can’t really imagine people doing bad things. Since he isn’t capable of such actions, he doesn’t even think of them.

Sarutahiko is said to guide people down the right path, right? So that’s the only kind of behavior he expects... He doesn’t anticipate people having malicious intent, wielding a knife, or harming others. Since he himself can’t do such things, he can’t grasp when others might lie or act with ill intent, even when he knows it’s happening.

In "Mephisto", or even ever since when this character first appeared, his words were oddly... kind. Even when the lyrics are about asking his children to come get back at him, the way he tells it is sweet, like telling a bedtime story.

I don’t think there’s even a hint of “hate” in his feelings towards Ai or his kids. It was never love-hate, it’s just “love,” pure and simple.

Looking at what’s been revealed so far, I wonder if this character is even capable of hatred. Because even towards people who anyone with a normal mindset would understandably hate, he shows no signs of that. He seems to internalize everything as his fault and suffer because of it. He’s such a gentle person. If you disregard the theories that this character might have harmed Ai, killed Yura, or committed serial murders, he’s always been really kind in his actions...

Think about it. Aqua plans to turn the things that happened to him into a film and distribute it. The content is provocative, and it’ll definitely be a hit. If it were me, I’d feel conflicted about it, wouldn’t you? It’s like reopening old wounds, right? And showing that to all of Japan? Even if I acknowledged my mistakes, I’d find it too painful.

But after seeing that screening, he comes back and asks his son in an interview if he took the role to help his mother and sister, despite of the role being a very painful one to act out. That's a question filled with consideration for the person who made the film. Something extremely generous.

Aqua has become twisted, showing a darker side, but his character still seems to speak kindly, even if he’s fallen apart.

I think Ai chose her man well. This character’s speech is so soft-spoken, and even when he believes his son is trying to kill him, he’s happy to see him and cheers him on. He praises his daughter and smiles kindly at people. He never shows intense emotions.

As a child, he always endured things alone... There’s never been a scene where he truly gets angry. When something happens, he blames himself.

Even when others treat him poorly, he thinks about what he could have done differently, believes it’s his fault, and takes responsibility. That seems to be his basic behavior pattern, and it hasn’t changed from what I can tell. He’s someone who blames himself for everything, similar to Aqua, but with a gentler personality. Very mild.

I think Ai made a good choice to love this guy.22222 There’s a mention that this character helped Ai improve her personality, right? He’s inherently really kind, gentle, and doesn’t come to blame others. Being around someone like that probably made Ai open up quickly, fall in love with him, and take action for him. Ai didn’t want to break up with him. She doesn’t say she wanted to break free because it was hard to rely on him. Instead, she wished they could have stayed together. If the situation hadn’t gotten so complicated, he would have been the right person for Ai to be with.

It doesn't seem like he would have been very obsessive. It seems likely that Nino had some connection with Ryosuke, as I suspected.

If that's the case, Kamiki might have only found out about the birth of his children when Ai called him from the public phone in episode 8. He hadn’t gone near the hospital, that could have been Nino.

If that's the case, the reaction I imagine this character would have had to Ai's phone call would go something like this:

"Hey, you know, the kids have grown up quite a bit. Would you like to meet them?"

"What? What are you talking about? Kids? Grown up? Ai, you’ve been raising kids? You gave birth to them? By yourself? How have you been all this time? Raising them? Then, I—"

"No, it’s not like I’m asking to get back together or anything."

"What?"

"Our kids are really smart, so they'll understand our situation."

"Ah... I see." (Silence) "Yeah, I want to meet them. I’ll go see them. Where should I go?"

"Yeah. The new address is—"

I feel like that’s how it would have played out... I can picture this lol. He doesn’t seem like the type to speak strongly, and he probably wouldn’t have been able to say much due to being at a loss for words. He couldn’t even hold on to Ai when they broke up; he couldn’t say anything properly.

Even when Airi really gaslighted him, he couldn’t argue back (when I watched that scene, I was like, "What the heck is she saying? Is it because she’s an actor in a morning drama? What kind of nonsense..." Although, being a movie, it’s probably dramatized. But there must be kids who experience something like this in real life. Not just 'might,' there definitely are. What a terrible world! Airi deserved divine retribution. What kind of adult acts like that;;;). That’s just his personality. Even when he was on the phone with Nino this time in ch 158, I bet he spoke very gently, maybe just saying something like, "Let’s stop this now." When Nino was with Takamine, she didn’t seem like a very strong person. In fact, she seemed more like a glass cannon, right? Yet even such a character yelled, "What do you mean by that?" to Kamiki. By now, I can’t even imagine this character speaking strongly.

After that call with Ai in the booth, he probably felt confused, troubled, sad, and disappointed, and he likely felt like crying. Wasn’t he around 19 at the time, just the legal drinking age? In the scene where he meets Ryosuke, there are what look like small liquor bottles drawn in the background; isn’t that a bar? Lol. Maybe he went to drink for the first time and didn't know what he was talking about because he didn't know his limit and drank too much.

I don’t think he would have been angry. This character doesn’t seem to get angry easily, or maybe he can’t. He probably just thought, "What is going on... Did Ai raise my children alone? Am I really that untrustworthy? Does she really not want to be with someone like me?" And so on. He likely felt sad and, as mentioned in chapter 158, felt "disappointment" that he couldn’t be with her. He doesn’t seem like someone who would resent Ai for that. If he resents anyone, it would probably be himself for being unreliable. He might think, "Because I’m like this, Ai doesn’t want to marry me..."

It seems like he would have just cried miserably. When you look at this character’s behavior, this pattern seems to fit his personality better. THIS is more like how he's reacted throughout his childhood and maybe even till his present day.

And from things like Mephisto’s lyrics, what he says in front of the kids, or even earlier when he showed up with flowers at Ai’s grave and said things like "our children," it’s clear he does have paternal love.

It’s just that he’s probably thinking of dying (please refer to my previous post on analyzing Mephisto),

But if things were normal, he would have been a kind and good father. Whenever he appears, he doesn’t miss a chance to praise his kids, showing that he probably liked them a lot... if only he had the chance to raise them.

The scene Ai imagined, where they are raising the kids together, laughing and walking side by side, is likely accurate. Since she knew him well, it’s reasonable to think that’s how things could have been.

I just think Kamiki may end up to be a really pitiful guy who really loves Ai. I’m not sure if he could have killed Yura; if he did, it might have been done in order to save Ai... It’s ambiguous. Ai left a request to help him, but can you really help someone who’s killed someone? It’s tough.

But the more this character appears and does things, the stronger the interpretation that he is like this becomes.

I sometimes worry if I’m being too kind in my interpretation,

But every time he appears, it turns out to be even more like that than I expected.

So maybe he’s even more like this than I’ve written. I keep saying this, but with this manga, if I decide to go two steps further than how I anticipated in terms of what the characters are like, it usually turns out to be about right. I got a LOT of things right so far. I feel I have a right sense of direction, the manga turns out to make the feelings even stronger than that(and that's natural, since I can't just go ahead and go berserk beyond the original portrayals)

It’s incredibly interesting!

[correctproseka]

Ok but- and I am saying this with respect for your point of view bc I think you are correct on a wider societal level- I keep seeing this argument of 'There is more m/m fanfic therefore this fandom is lesbiphobic and misogynistic' and it has bothered me for a long time. As a queer girl myself, asexual and somwehere on the aro spectrum, who has many wlw ships and enjoys looking at art for them... I don't enjoy reading wlw or straight fics bc I subconsciously project myself into the relationships too much (this is also why i generally avoid reading straight romance books lol). When I read mlm fic, there's a degree of separation from me that means I can enjoy it without getting anxious about imagining myself in that position.

I'm not trying to be like 'oh woe is me i cant read yuri', im just explaining my own reasons, and trying to get across that other people have their own reasons for what they enjoy- ranging from long winded explanations like mine to 'idk I'm attracted to guys and I like writing about them'. People have preferences, and that comes across in most fandoms, even in heavily female casts like prsk. Like I mentioned, lack of wlw content IS an issue.... when it comes to mainstream media. But when it comes to fanfic... the majority of writers are queer, many are women, hell, some of the most prolific writers of mlm fic I know are lesbians. People have their own reasons for writing what they like, and they do it for FREE. I think it's silly to say a fandom is misogynistic when most of these fandoms are full of queer female writers writing what they want to write.

And again I say this with respect because I do see where you're coming from- instead of saying 'write less mlm', because absolutely one will listen to that.... say 'write more wlw'. Write what you want to see in the world! More fics are always a good thing!! And if you don't want to read about guys, that's what the ao3 filters are for lol.

If you actually read all this, thank you, I really appreciate it. Sorry for yapping in your ask box LOL I just wanted to express my opinion on this topic bc it's something that I care about a lot. Also, like I said, while I don't read fic for it I still love wlw ships so..... ANHANE YURI FOREVER 🌈🌈🌈🌈

See, the thing is, i agree with you, but is that really the only reason for A LOT of people?

What im advocating is not for people to write less mlm, is for they to look at themselves and wonder why they like it more, i know a lot of people who claim to like the boys more for this reason or that, then turn around and act completely misogynistic 5 seconds later, some of them in this fandom, even.

Im just saying that in a fandom with way more girls than boys, it makes not much sense how much more content of the boys there is.

The ao3 filters exist, yes, but they dont stop me from having barely any content even on bigger wlw shipps, from rereading the same fics over and over again because that's all I have for days/weeks, months even on the leoni/mmj side of fandom.

Sincerely, I have myself over 50 prsk fics, only one includes mlm and that one is a multi, focused mainly on platonic ships, and is still somehow my most famous fic.

I see your point, really, and I agree with it, but it only comes so far in a fandom like prsk where there's way more girls, or Alien Stage, that my friend got me into and the girls have been canon for so long but the boys have nearly always been more famous, even before they became "canon". As a wlw enjoyer its tiring to see this over and over again in every fandom im in, you know?

Plus, its not just not writing girls, its how the fandom ACTS with them. Saki as just a fodder for Tsukasa angst, Honami might as well not even exist, Mizuki themselves exist only to be a friend to Rui to a lot of people, An and Kohane? They're only backgrounds on Akitouya, that is when An doesn't get in between the ship, of course. Emu can't even be shipped with one of the boys, because she's a child obviously, but she can be shipped with Nene, just leave her to the side its alright.

Its a lot of double standards, and not only "not writing fics", the fics are just a quick way of showing what I mean.

[neighboringheart]

I'M IN HARDCORE SUPPORT FOR THE PREDATOR/PREY DYNAMIC YOU POSTED ABOUT !!

I'm an absolute simp for Bumblebee so any ship with him as the prey is perfect in my eyes.

The 3 ships that comes to mind immediately are BlitzBee, StarBee and MegaBee.

The Megabee scenario about a concerned Megatron worrying that Bee is distrustful of him while in reality the autobot is having the most insane thoughts were really funny lol.

So I'm curious in how you would go about the other two ships, if in all cases Bee is already into the idea and find it hot or if it's a life or death scenario as he is being hunted down by various deceptions ?

I'm rambling here, but all Im saying is that I need to hear more from you about this specific Predator/Prey dynamic bc I CRAVE MORE.

(also maybe a crossover with Bee ending up in the shattered glass universe to throw in some twisted autobots into the mix too 🫡)

ough ough ough okay I am home from work and have a keyboard to properly go buckwild with and yeah there's not gonna be much punctuation happening sorry but I'm feral and I am politely grabbing you by the collar to keep you here

adding a read more bc this got a lot longer than I thought it would but I hope you enjoy my brainworms

okay so for BlitzBee it would absolutely be something that Blitzwing brought up first and you might think "oh was it Random joking about it or something?" no it was Icy looking Bee right in the eyes and just going "I want to hunt you for sport. would that interest you?" and at first Bee did not get it at all and was unsettled but he ends up getting curious which is how the first occurrence of them disappearing into the woods for a week happened

Bee would end up finding out that oh it actually is kinda hot to have all that adrenaline going kinda like right after a really tough race except the bit of fear tingling up his spine makes it interesting and then being caught and having Blitzwing roughly fuck into him with barely any prep at all hurt but still felt so so good and after waking up the next morning and thinking for a bit yeah he got it he got exactly why Blitzwing was interested in that and it ends up becoming a regular thing for the two of them where they just disappear and then show back up again like a week later Bee looking like he went through a wood chipper and his abdomen a bit bloated from all the transfluid he's been stuffed with the last week but his field brimming so brightly with a fuzzy happiness that no one wants to bring up that he needs to stop whatever he's been doing

aside from Ratchet that is lol he makes it very clear how much he dislikes having to do a full systems check on him but also does NOT want to know who he's been fucking bc he knows it would have to be a decepticon and he doesn't wanna know a damn thing about it

as for StarBee tbh I really couldn't see either of them being interested in it or bringing it up aside from like...rid15 StarBee bc rid15 Starscream is feral in a very specific way and yeah I could see him wanting to hunt Bumblebee down and then claim him once he's victorious

idk how Bee would feel about it tho I feel like he'd try it just the one time bc Starscream keeps suggesting they try something more adventurous and Bee would much rather one of them gets tied up instead of being forced to go galivanting through the woods at the behest of his—frankly deranged—boyfriend but he goes with it just to try it once and afterwards they'd discuss it and Bee didn't hate it but again he'd rather that Starscream just tie him up next time which Starscream would be happy to do so they just stick to berth activities that involve less of bee ending up facedown in the dirt...took a while to get everything out of his seams lol

and then idw StarBee it would never happen bc Starscream would be too busy trying to convince Bee to put him on a leash (which Bee is so tired of this conversation he doesn't wanna do petplay) to think about predator/prey shit lmao

and then MegaBee...oh MegaBee my beloved...this could work for so many continuities in my head but yeah earthspark would be the funniest but the extra size difference in tfa is also very sexy I would imagine in either scenario the seed would be planted in Bee's mind after either getting chased by Megatron for real at some point or in a dream and then the image just sticks there for a while

in earthspark it would be easier ofc since they're allies so eventually Bee would get the courage to bring it up to Megatron who would just be bewildered beyond all belief like "you want me to what??? why would you want that?? I've hurt you before!" and it would take a lot of convincing on Bee's part to get Megatron to agree especially bc he'd be like "but aren't you and Breakdown an item? I could have sworn he mentioned it last we spoke" and Bee would just be like "yeah we are but like you know how some humans have an agreement with their significant other about like having one other person that their partner would give them a pass about fragging? mine was you...and his was Knockout but I won't give you the details...he's got some interesting kinks that I don't have the literal claws for"

anyways Megatron would eventually relent in that scenario and agree to it bc he does find the idea of fucking Bee to be much more appealing than he'd expected and he wants to try something new but as soon as he's actually caught Bee and starts to manhandle him a bit Bee would start struggling and begging him to let him go or something and Megatron would definitely end up using their safeword he just wouldn't be able to do it

they'd have to sit down somewhere Megatron shaking a bit bc even tho he knew it was just a scene and that Bee was just playing the part the thought of him returning to how he once was terrifies him and they'd end up having a long conversation that ends with the decision that if they were to try something like that again they'd change it to be more lighthearted bc Megatron did enjoy the chase and doesn't mind getting a bit rough with his partners but even Bee pretending that he's scared and trying to get away is too much but yeah they'd figure it out and have a lot of steamy fun

tfa MegaBee would be wayyyy different tho Megatron would be so into it and Bee would be so in over his head but he'd be wobbling back to the autobot base later looking like he'd been in a ten car pile up but feeling more blissed out than he'd ever been lmao he'd think about it on and on for weeks hoping to get to do it again

as for if he ended up in shattered glass? oh primus help any poor Bumblebee who ends up in that situation and lets hope any of them would already be a little bit of a freak otherwise that would not be a fun trip for him lol

oh boy I ended up rambling a lot more than I thought I would lmao but I hope you're seeing my vision here there are so many Bumblebees and so many of them deserve to get chased through the woods and then bent over and getting their cute little valves stuffed until the only thing they can ever think about is getting to experience that thrill again

ough even just the thought of earthspark Bumblebee with his doorwings twitching and thick transfluid dribbling from his gaping valve after Megatron pulls out makes me feel so so insane I need to do unthinkable things to him

so yeah the individual scenarios would vary a lot but I feel like in most instances it wouldn't be Bumblebee who thinks of it unless there was some kind of inciting incident whether irl or some kind of strange dream but most people who get together with him end up wanting to hunt him for sport bc he's just so cute and even tho he's certainly not helpless he can play that act very well and look real cute while doing it and he's usually enough of a freak that he'd want to try it

...now that I think about it...tfa ProwlBee would also be interesting as I'm sure Prowl would love to finally shut that brat up and chasing him down to stuff him with a spike sure is one way to do it but I've prattled on long enough this post is getting wayyy too long lmao I am nothing if not a passionate man 😂

[stellacadente]

notes on my life/recovery lately bc this is kinda my diary whatever:

shit is hard and i'm very tired but it's like... half the time the same tired as the last.......months year whatever, the kind that's like i don't wanna live with all this weight on me tired, i don't wanna do anything, i don't have energy tired. but the other half of the time (okay, idk if it's half but you know, some of the time) it's the 'i'm doing something' kind of tired. so there's that, it's gone from doing nothing beside the bare minimum of the usual and feeling suffocated and squashed to starting to do things to get better. slowly it will indeed get better.. i think and hope

my psychologist seems nice, we've only done 3 sessions so far but he's gentle and listens and has already made me realize something that made me go oh? bc it made sense and put things into perspective. it's more about getting to know me and my Issues now bc it's the start and it IS veeery hard to express myself and be fully open but yeah baby steps therapy is a lot i need to give myself time

sometimes i still feel like maybe it'd have been better if i'd just died. sometimes i think of the hospital and get overwhelmed and feel so.. heavy and sad and alone. sometimes, actually a lot of the time, i feel so much shame. at times i think i can't do this. i can't get better and be happy. .... but i think all this is normal. sadly but like i can't just stop feeling all the negative emotions and thinking all the negative thoughts that have overwhelmed me for a long time all of a sudden?

started seeing my new psychiatric rehabilitation technician (if that's even how you say it in english ?) too and like. it's a nice contrast with my psychologist and psychiatrist lmao he's very chill (and this rehabilitation is generally more chill like it's not as taxing as therapy) and funny and he calls me out in ways that make me laugh at myself which. is actually nice. like imagine someone going "you think that judgemental thought you have about yourself is objective and real????" in both a dude be so for real way and a professional, useful way. simultaneously. obviously that doesn't mean the obsessive negative self loathing thoughts are gone, it takes time, but that approach does work with me. i'm a very ironic and self-ironic(?) person and this rehabilitation technician is around my age so like it's a dynanic and method that works, he makes me think over my thoughts, we discuss relationships and emotions blabla and it's very useful without being completely serious and somber..? i guess

also he knows stuff about trans things which. man it's a breath of fresh air in that place bc almost everyone has always been so bad at treating trans ppl lmao

and i told him stella cadente by mahmood is one of the songs that made me feel at first(ish) listen "Oh. it's talking about me" (i was telling him that kind of feeling makes me feel happy and is cathartic) and he put it in his spotify faves and said he'd listen to it later which. man honestly that might be more personal than anything i've told him so far (joking but also likeeeee that song is me.) (also he asked me what the song's about and i was like "uh. first of all it's not a happy song." and he replied "yeah i figured. i mean there was maybe a 1% chance that it was" 😭😭😭😭 called out.)

i've been doing word puzzles, crosswords, sudoku etc more again lately, especially when i start feeling very bad bc it keeps my mind occupied. i told the rehabilitation guy and he said that's good, better than movies and music (which i told him are my other ways to pass the time, things i like) bc those don't really require i do anything. and yeah agree and in fact i haven't been that good at watching movies lately bc my mind wonders towards the bad thoughts too easily and i can't get into the film

i'm gonna get a physical jigsaw puzzle when i go to my parents', or maybe actually buy a new one now i think about it, one that has an image i really like so it's even more fun and motivating

i got this. i got this. i need to keep repeating this to myself and when it's bad it turns into "i don't know how but i have to do this" and when it's Really bad it's "i don't think i can do this" but as long as i get through those moments i can keep doing these things that will help me get better

also i need to drag myself to the cinema soon. that makes me happy. this town just has no cinema and i'm so low on energy to take public transport and stuff. but cinema soon this is a promise to myself

that's it life is hard but i'll make veggies now

[simplyblonnd]

K. - Anakin Skywalker PART- 1

Part 2

A/N: I'm alive lol. I love CAS and k. is one of my fav songs even though it is a bit overplayed idc it's amazing. And idk why I thought about Anakin and how reader and him would have a secret relationship (for obvious reasons) and k. is like that kind of song if any of what I have said makes sense at all.

Part 2 will come soon I swear. Im sure there are spelling mistakes or even things that don't make sense but I'm so tired omfg

Summary: you and Anakin are like fuckbuddys and aren't supposed to get attached, after a while, Anakin starts to notice a change in your behavior toward him and realizes something that might change everything.

Warnings: angst, maybe fluff idk, mentions of sex, swearing, English is not my native language so bare with me if there are any spelling mistakes!

Masterlist !!!

Anakain's POV:

Something changed, and he wasn't sure why. He thought he might have done something wrong, might have said something that upset you. He even came to believe that he might have done something you didn't like during sex and decided to stop talking to him. During training sessions, as soon as they ended, you would leave the room without giving him a spare glance. He was confused because when he was looking at you, you would avoid his gaze at all costs.

A few days ago, he finally caught you looking at him, and you quickly turned around with pink dust on your cheeks. This left him even more puzzled. After having the courage to do it, he tried to enter your mind through the Force. He was supposed to be listening to Windu because what he was saying was important and related to your next mission. That's why he decided to do it. It took you a few seconds to realize what was happening, but that was enough for Anakin to see how you felt about him, why you had been avoiding him, and why you didn't want to meet with him. You liked him, you liked him, you like him. Oh, shit, shit, shit.

Thoughts ran wild through his mind. You and he had been having this friend-with-benefits thing for a few months now, whenever one of you needed to blow some steam off, you would meet with each other. You both agreed on not catching feelings for each other never. As it was obvious, you both had broken the one and only rule. Excitement bubbled in his belly, he tried to contain the smile that was daring to appear on his face, he couldn’t wait to talk to you, he just wanted to walk up to you, turn you around, and kiss you as he has never kissed anyone, you were the only thing Anakin had, and knowing you reciprocated his feelings, he felt like the Force was finally being kind to him.

When Windu stopped talking and dismissed Anakin and the others, Anakin tried to catch up to you but saw you walking right beside Obi-wan so he decided to talk to you later, if you didn’t avoid him, of course

Your POV

Stupid, stupid stupid, why couldn’t you follow the only rule you had?

You didn’t mean to catch feelings for him that quickly, but that’s what happens when you don’t admit your feelings to yourself when they’ve been there for years, they will come out when you less expect it and need it.

In the beginning, you had no problem, it was just sex, it was easy, and you didn’t want to ruin the chemistry that was beginning to show between you two.

It got to a point where you felt as if it was more than sex, sometimes after doing it you would smoke with only a blanket covering both of your naked bodies, sharing a cigarette and admiring Coruscant at night. You would lean into him, close your eyes and hum a tune, he would continue it even though he had no idea of what you were singing, which would end up in both of you laughing. It was comfortable, you felt at peace, you had never felt at peace and you knew he hadn’t either. So you didn’t understand why you had to fucking ruin it, it was perfect, it worked like clockwork, but your stupid feelings just had to get in the way.

After trying to hide them for a week, you couldn’t handle it anymore, your proceeded to do the thing you were best at, avoiding your problems. Whenever you felt his presence approach you, you would make a run for your life so he wouldn’t talk to you. Another thing you were good at was hiding, after living for years with your 3 brothers and playing hide and seek before the Jedi council took you, you for sure were an expert.

Now you were here, listening to Windu talk to you, Anakin, and the clones that accompanied you in the room about the mission you will have in two days, well, at least trying you. But Anakin had had the amazing idea to look into your mind less than a minute ago and now you tried to keep your nerves down so Windu wouldn’t notice your nervousness and afraid that Anakin had seen something you didn’t want him to see, but by the way his force showed anxiety as well, you knew he had.

As soon as Windu shut up, you ran out of the room, just to find Obi-wan await for you, a small smile on his face and arms crossed under his tunic. Your nerves calmed down, knowing Anakin wouldn’t try anything stupid in front of his master, or at least you hoped he wouldn’t.

“Hello there y/n” he greeted you, you responded with a nod, coming to his side and starting to walk with no destination. “So tell me, have you made up your mind yet?”.

A few days ago Obi-wan told you they needed some Jedis for a three month time mission, you asked him why he hadn’t asked Anakin, and he said Anakin was needed at Coruscant, you were too, but he thought that this would be good for your career as a Jedi. He told you that just when you had re-discovered your feelings for the chosen one, so without hesitation, you said you were interested. Obi-wan gave you time to think about it since it was a big deal.

“Umm, so the thing is master, I’ve been busy trying to perfect my laser performance so I haven't had the time to think about it a lot, and I need to fix some things before, but just know that before next week you’ll have my answer, sir.” You explained, moving your hands as you spoke trying to express your point more. Obi-wan smiled at this, since the day he met you he thought you were a really interesting and unique girl and loved the way you acted and were (in a fatherly way of course).

“Of course, my dear, don’t you worry, just remember you aren’t being forced to do anything. Now if you excuse me, I have some business to attend to, and I think you do too, that boy of yours has been getting on my nerves these past few days, and I think that the reason for his uneasiness is you, so please do something to call him down” Without letting you speak, he left you while giving you a knowing smirk.

You huffed and turned around, you knew he was right, you weren’t being fair to anything. So after making up your mind, your feet led you to Anakin’s dorm.

[suppuration]

experiencing that "adhd urge to tackle cleaning my bedroom in one whirlwind effort" phenomenon this week

a majority of that effort has been the result of an epiphany that i was getting in "clothing hoarder" territory, with how much i own vs how much i wear. my partner and i split the bedroom 50/50 and i do not exaggerate that a third of my side was packed solid with clothes

it was bad enough that while going through stuff, a solid fourth of it was stuff i had completely forgotten i have, and another fourth of it was stuff i liked enough to buy multiples of so i had a backup when the first one got too worn out (some things, the item was either so cheap and/or i was so in love with them that i had as many as six extra)

i was tired of never having space to even use my side of the room to do more than sleep and use my laptop. of owning a ton of clothes i didn't even necessarily like enough to wear, and a ton more clothes that don't even fit. of owning more crap than i can handle owning

so i formed a rudimentary plan and ran headlong into it. it's been messy, but it's made it lower stress to not have too much structure to my approach beyond a simple "finish one step to completion before moving onto the next." (i would put "simple" in air quotes, but punctuating that would've been awkward. anybody with executive dysfunction can relate to the difficulty of forming and adhering to a granular itinerary)

most of this is rambling, but it might be helpful idk. so far it's looked something like this:

pulling everything out and sorting by like items. putting all duplicates in one bin, and making decisive cuts on which extras i actually need to keep. taking a cursory walk through my definite "yes" pile to see what coords i can make with them

it's made it much gentler for me to have a "yes" bin, a "no definitely not" bin, and a bin for "still thinking about it." (and a fourth bin, but that's the trash can, LOL.) not having to think about it in a black and white "decision now" mentality lets me focus on being brutally honest about whether i love each thing, and whether it's past its prime. yeah i have the skills and tools to repair many types of garment damage, but do i love the item enough to spend the time and effort?

i think the hardest thing has been trying every single thing on to make sure it still fits, and fits in a way i like. it's cruelly hot here. there are some winter things i can barely stand to touch right now, let alone put on my body. i have promised myself that i will revisit the off-season bin when it's on-season... but i did suffer through the fall clothes since that's a majority of my clothing, and it's my favs

having that "maybe" bin has also given me the ability to distance myself from the items and marinate. i looked through my maybes one day later, and found making a concrete yes/no was much easier. like the off-season bin, i have promised myself that i will revisit the "maybes" in six months to see if my feelings on them have changed

which, i cannot emphasize enough. clearly label every bin and bag while you're pruning--and date it!!! that way you'll know the last time you went through that particular bin. i didn't have any lingering receipts or anything to go by, but i know that some of these stored clothes have gone untouched for literally a decade. be kind to yourself and never let yourself say "etc, stuff, or misc" either. if you do that, you will have to open it to know what's in it, every single time. if it's a mixture of things--like scarves, belts, ties--write each thing on it. i also don't recommend a blanket "accessories" label on any "yes" bins for the same reason

it's taken me three days to get this far, and i'm just past halfway going through things i think, but i think i've gotten my clothing possessions down by 30-50% with my first pass over everything

once i have all my definite "no"s culled, i am going to make a second pass over everything in my "yes"es to see if they're all still definitely "yes"es. same with the "maybes." i know i can shrink it all down further, but i need to trim the fat before i can work with the meat, to sound like a butcher for a minute

it's been exhausting and very time consuming, but it's also long overdue and i have multiple spoon-adjacent energy restrictions working against me. sometimes the best self-care you can give yourself is getting rid of what you don't need anymore, so you can appreciate and focus on what you do need and love

(yeah, part of it is me looking for stuff that's in good enough condition to see if i can get a resale shop to take it, money is getting that tight... but god i am drowning in belongings and i cannot stand it anymore nefeysfnstksfnstksfnstksfnstnm)

[goblin-enjoyer]

recently got friendsim because it is on sale [LIKE 2 DOLLARS STEAM MONEY]. my thoughts.

probably spoilers idk what registers as that for this game idk its late and I am making a post on tumblr.com, hold on to your socks folks, its going to get rambly. (probably, I do this as I go)

Game was nice, short and sweet. wasn't too short to where you were left wanting more as well as a refund, not to long where you would start getting tired and start wishing it would end. almost got to that at the end for me but that's mostly because it went annoyingly meta/romancey. Most of the characters are nice and enjoyable and the ones that aren't usually either acknowledged as annoying/obnoxious by the game and/or get comeuppance at some point for being gits. Favorites had to be the jades, the big purple longhorn and either some teal or olive(?) blood that i cant quite remember because there's quite a few characters, I suck at remembering names and faces(even with fictional characters, what can I say, brain just doesn't like storing that info) and its almost 3 am and despite saying "oh I should probably stop posting stuff that I want read at late times of night, I get rather rambly and nonsensical at night." here I am making a review for a game(?) I liked and would recommend. but I think ii have gotten ahead of myself. not to worry I will probably forget this later and go over the topic again, as I do at these hours. but yeah the writing was witty, fun and most of the time knew when to joke and when to evoke emotions. nice exploration of alterna troll civilization as well as a nice break from the grand stakes and threats of homestuck proper. sure got a wee bit meta at the end but it didn't overstay its welcome. the ending did make me wish there was an epilogue for the characters that tied up loose ends and sent the game off better than mr ball head spouting off some meta "pawn, scheme, blah blah blah, not real, using you, yatta yatta, etc, etc.." but eh I'm used to good stories made by people who don't know how to write endings (I'm looking at you primal). oh yeah almost forgot one of my favorite parts of the game! The FRIEND part of friendsim. Its not a dating simulator despite the look of it! my aro/ace arse could not be happier that pretty much all the "romance-like" stuff was reserved for optional paths. especially glad there was no dating stuff because all the characters were minors. hate that I have to say it but I keep my distance from dating sims and visual novels for that reason. apologies anime fans, I know there's a lot of good anime out there, without that weird wishy-washy stuff, but I don't know enough about tropes and visual tells from trailers and stuff to personally discern the weirdly hornys from the not hornys. I'm just not good at detecting that stuff without heavy research first. ok random somewhat off topic ramble about horny blindness done, this post is getting way too long I should not have made it this late at night, I had one baja blast and it is keeping me up with sudo energy. hate having to spin the "Soda Wheel of Energy Based Side Effects!" every time i want a nice carbonated sugar beverage. is that an autistic thing or just me?

anyways, friendsim is a good read for both homestuck fans and non fans alike(however it may be more likely to get enjoyment from the former). with mostly great characters, a fun, if dark sometimes story and great art and music, this NOTdating sim is overall a great to good experience with a few bumps in the road. Wish there was a sequel or dlc or something for story continuations for all the characters but that's just me. its currently cheap on steam so get it if you want it or might want to give a few chapters a read threw on a boring day.