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christianwolfganglindner · 10 months

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skincare tips from a neurodivergent person with acne who doesn't like consumerism and doesn't have a lot of money or spoons, with explanations:

i found that there is little to no content about taking care of your skin that doesn't promote buying wild amounts of pricy products for the ✨ aesthetic ✨, following 10 step routines that are highly unrealistic for nd ppl or those who work full-time, and using unnecessary amounts of plastic and harsh stuff on your face so i thought i'd share what i figured has helped me so far <3

sunscreen - i know this one's a classic but it actually helped so much with my acne. idk why but uv rays apparently take a huge toll on my skin and make me break out a lot more than when i use sunscreen (might be sun allergy but this works on non-allergic skin too!). if aging is something you're concerned about this also definitely is the best prevention of wrinkles and stuff, but really it just makes sense to use one every day to prevent skin damage, overpigmentation, sunburn and skin cancer, not just because of looks! (especially if you live somewhere sunny.) i use an spf 50 spray from my local drugstore, i found that spray spf has a much more tolerable texture for me than the thick oily ones. most importantly you just need to wash it off at the end of the day (not that i'd follow through with that every day but as long as it's regular you're fine). i've tried both mineral and chemical sunscreens, i personally prefer chemical ones because they don't leave a whitecast and aren't as drying, but for others with really sensitive skin mineral might be better because it doesn't actually absorb into the skin but repels uv rays by reflecting them. just make sure you get spf 30 or higher!! mine is about 5-10€ per bottle and usually lasts me about two to three months. there are a lot fancier ones that are hyped right now but really as long as it has modern uv filters and doesn't contain octocrylene, oxybenzone or alcohol i found it doesn't matter which one you pick.

cleanser - i also don't consequently do this every day (none of the things on this list actually but hey) and of course it doesn't solve the whole problem, but washing my face has helped me a lot to at least reduce the amount of breakouts i get. my skin doesn't like many cleansers, now i mainly just use a drugstore brand water-based gentle cleanser that is pH neutral to skin. as far as i know the only important thing is really just that it's gentle, meaning no alcohol/parabens/perfume etc (those are a bad idea in skincare in general). after i wear makeup i also use an oil cleanser or micellar water or something like that bc that gets rid of any waterproof stuff i use (which i do a lot ngl). apparently you're supposed to always use both but i just can't be bothered when i'm not wearing makeup and so far my skin doesn't hate me for it. i spend 3€ on mine and like 2€ on the makeup remover one that both last me for like half a year (longer if i wear less makeup during that time obviously).

peeling - if you don't have acne or other skin concerns you might as well skip this, but for me, this has really helped with reducing my acne and having a more bouncy glowy type of skin generally. i sometimes use an AHA/PHA acid peeling cleanser or a salicylic acid peeling solution after my dermatologist recommended it (the important word here is OR, i've learned the hard way that using both together is a horrible idea) and they work great. what's important is that you realllllly should use sunscreen the day after because they do make your skin a lot more sensitive and you should also only use it a couple times a week so your skin has time to regenerate. it's also better to stay away from mechanical peels that have like the little beads in them. they tend to cause a lot of small injuries on your face and don't really peel evenly (also most of them use microplastics for the beads that get into the environment when you wash it off). these are more expensive in my experience, mine is 9€ but i haven't found any that work the same for less, but that's really just me! i have had mine for over half a year now and i'm a little more than half done with it so it will probably last me a year (mostly because i don't use it every day).

moisturizer - probably self-explanatory, most ppl need something to keep their skin moisturized, even if you have oily skin (because oily skin usually is just a sign of dehydration/a damaged skin barrier that your body tries to compensate for by producing more sebum). this one is especially important to me during winter. really doesn't need to be anything fancy and i'd personally recommend getting one that has a lot of glycerin instead of hyaluronic acid or other fancy stuff. hyaluronic acid is a beloved child of skincare marketing but most products that contain it really don't do much. one, simply because the formula that is used for it in industrial production is Not That Good and two, in itself, hyaluronic acid usually is way too big of a molecule to actually penetrate the skin far enough to do shit. you can use a liquid or cream type moisturizer, or try both if you have dry ass patches like me, i personally like the liquid one more because of texture again. i usually spend 8€ on my liquid and creamy one together and they last me for fucking ever (think i'm actually still on my first ones from like, one and a half years ago because i use them interchangeably so that checks out).

barrier protection - this kinda goes hand in hand with moisturizer, but i like to use a richer product along my moisturizer bc it's not nourishing enough on its own for me and i haven't found a better one yet, but you can totally combine the two if you can. what my doctor said is important is that it contains some type of ceramide complex, ceramides are naturally occuring in the skin barrier and when you have a depleted/damaged barrier like me, breakouts and scarring and irritation happens, so this really calmed my skin down a lot! my cream is about 4-6€ depending on where i buy it from but lasts me three or four months usually.

zinc/panthenol - this might be a niche one but i've read online that zinc or panthenol paste that you use for healing wounds or getting rid of scars can help with acne and for me, it actually helps with acute patches. i just put a little bit on any wounds or zits i have before bed and usually the next day they are a lot smaller or even gone completely. might be worth a try and you can also use it on cuts or other scabs of course. these usually go for about 5€ per tube, i just get them from the bandaids and first-aid supply section from my drugstore.

all of this boils down to around 30€ for about half a year, making it around 5€ per month (that's a little less than 5 dollars or pounds). in the beginning it might get more expensive because trying out different stuff and finding what products work for my skin was a whole process of itself, but now that i've settled on these few things i rarely ever have to buy new ones, just when one of my go-tos runs out.

how to use - a good rule of thumb is to keep it as simple as possible and when using, to go from lightest to heaviest so a heavy cream doesn't "block out" your light moisturizer or something. in the morning, i just wash with water to wake myself up and put on sunscreen, sometimes i'll moisturize before that as well, but only if i'm seriously in the mood bc my sunscreen usually feels hydrating enough and i don't have much time before heading out anyway. often times i'll also just really not have the spoons for any of this and might have to choose between brushing my teeth and doing my skincare, so i also don't do this super regularly. in my experience, just trying to keep at it as good as possible is the best i can do and it has helped me more than doing nothing. in the evening, i'll usually remove my makeup if i'm wearing any and start by washing with a cleanser, then using a peel like once or twice a week afterwards, and then finish by moisturizing and putting on cream. that makes 3 or 4 steps total, but often when i'm tired i just bring it to 2 by only cleansing and putting on cream. i know for ppl with really severe acne or other illnesses that that might not be enough, and it definitely wasn't for me either at first when i started taking care of my skin and my face was covered in acne completely, but i've gradually worked my way up to this.

of course there are a lot of other products as well and a lot of other active ingredients like vitamin c or retinol or different acids but these are my personal basics/staples (i'm also fairly young and wouldn't consider my acne super heavy). i have found that keeping it simple usually works better in the long run. a lot of fancy products are mostly marketing and just irritating because of unnecessary scenting, sulfates or whatever. your skin is very much able to take care of itself most of the time, my personal ambition with skincare products is not to do my body's job myself but to just help its healing and balancing process.

hope this was somehow helpful <3

#lindner talks #ramble #autism #skincare #skincare tips #actually neurodivergent #skincare on a budget #low spoon tips #cw cut mention

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gravedigginbbydoll · 1 year

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AHHH HI so as a curly haired girly who once bleached her hair, i have MANY tips for how to learn how to do your curly hair and treat it properly. it is a lot, shawty, and it’s not the same for everyone, so im just going to briefly explain how i do my hair and then also add some people on different social medias who taught me different techniques n stuff!!

okok so first off, how you wash your hair is SOOO important!!! and how often you wash it!! personally, i have very thick hair (for reference, i am half white, half latina, which is where my curls come from) and the curls often form into ringlets. i wash my hair about twice a week, maybe three at most.

for example, today is monday, so it was hair wash day for me. ill wash it again friday. here is my hair wash routine:

- scalp scrubber on dry scalp, parting hair into sections if needed. this is something i recommend to everyone, because it’s a much easier way of exfoliating your scalp, and lifting some of the gunk/dirt from it before you even begin to get it wet. then i brush the hair and get in wet in the shower.

- i alternate between two shampoos, my usage depending on what i determine my hair needs. they are a detoxifying shampoo (i strongly recommend the brand nioxin, their detoxification shampoo is my holy grail for getting a clean wash), and a hydrating shampoo. i use conditioner maybe once a month. i section my hair and make sure to wash the scalp and the hair well. if it doesn’t lather the first time, it likely needs to be washed again. if you use conditioner, only put it on your ends, and use ‘prayer hands’ to distribute it evenly. rinse with cold water!!! it helps the curls start to form so much better than hot or warm water does, AND it keeps your scalp from getting greasy quickly!

- i suggest using a microfiber towel or a tshirt to dry your hair with, not a regular cotton towel. those can be damaging to the hair. also, only brush your hair when it is wet!!! i know people say not to because it can cause breakage, but for curly haired people, it’s an essential. what is even MORE of an essential, is HOW you brush your hair. after putting your product in there (more on that in a sec), make like will byers and flip that head UPSIDE DOWN!! the curl patterns fall into place when gravity lets them. this is the only time you’ll wanna use your fingers and scrunch that hair to get them going, but only after brushing it while upside down.

- for product: always, ALWAYS, put product onto your hair before brushing it, using ‘prayer hands’ or a spray bottle. THEN, when you brush it, the brush will evenly distribute the product without you having to do any of the work. now, there are many different types of ways to style your curls (finger curling, brush styling, microploping, diffusing, bowl method, etc. etc.), but im lazy and so i typically just use some sort of spray that’s hydrating and has heat protectant, since i end up curling (with a hot tool) or styling (with a round brush) my hair on day two or three. then i normally just scrunch it from there (or microplop it if im wanting the curls to be extra defined), but if you want to look into wearing your hair naturally and having the curls look put together and defined, you WILL need:

- a mousse or a gel (this creates the ‘cast’, which you let the hair dry into)

- and an oil (this breaks the cast, setting free your pretty curls and taking away the crunch in them.)

ik that’s a LOT of information and i doubt i covered it with one hundred percent accuracy and ik there’s probably a lot i missed, so im sorry in advance for this incoherent ramble. i might come back later and try to re explain myself, but in the meantime, I suggest checking out these people (ill send it in the next ask), as they taught me a lot of what I know!

Ah!!! Thank you!

I’m also half Latina ! But in my Latino family everyone mostly has very loose waves or straight hair, so I was never taught to treat my hair a certain way tbh so I’m always looking for tips and tricks haha

I do a lot of these things already, I think I need to be better about cold water rinsing bc I’m a little baby and hate cold showers lol

Also shampoo brands help bc I am always looking for good detox ones so thank you!!!

These tips are great!! <3

I appreciate this so so much

#curly hair #curly hair routine #curly hair tips

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wallflowerimagines · 3 years

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*TW PERIOD MENTION*

If you're comfortable with this, could you do some hcs for the lords (but mainly moreau) with an s/o who gets HORRIBLE period cramps? Like they're literally writhing in pain and even after they take pain meds it's still miserable. Only do this if you feel comfortable of course, I totally understand if you dont want to do it❤

Hi, sorry folks, I bumped this to the top of the list, cuz I don't know if it's time sensitive for you, hope it brings comfort❤️ (Moreau's will have some extra)

TW: Period Mention, Reader is still Gender Neutral

Alcina Dimitrescu

Ah, she remembers those. She hasn't had to deal with one in a long while, due to her mutation, but even for her the experience was not pleasant.

This, however, looks very different.

Alcina cannot imagine the pain you must be in. You are curled into yourself on the couch, humming in an attempt to distract yourself from the pain, and you might try to hide them but she can see the tear tracks on your face.

Alcina takes care of you. Any of her day to day tasks can and will wait-- you are far more important. She doesn't leave the room unless you ask her to, and the Maids aren't let into the room unless it is to bring HER the things she needs to take care of you.

She will do whatever you need from her, no question. Cuddles, heated blankets, she will even read aloud to you as a distraction. Pro tip--her hands can get pretty chilly, and if you're someone who does well with ice packs, her hands work 100% better to cool off your skin.

Don't worry about her loosing control at the smell of blood--you are obviously in pain and she has far too much self control to let a little bit of blood bother her. (But depending on how hungry her daughters are, they might not be let in the room unless they have fed recently)

She will also use her contact with the Duke to find you a proper doctor. It's not normal for you to be in this much pain. Dearest, it doesn't matter if someone else has said there's nothing more to be done-- she's getting you a competent Doctor to get a second opinion.

Donna Beneviento

Donna is panicking.

Lady Beneviento is stressed the hell out by seeing you in pain--she hates it. You're lying in a pile of blankets on the floor, unable to be even the slightest bit comfortable because of the pain, and in such obvious agony that your hands are shaking.

Still, she's more than ready to make you feel better. Other than pain pills and more traditional treatment, Donna firmly believes in the power of distraction.

She will use books, movies, heck with your permission she might even use the pollen to craft a hallucination for you to help take the pain away.

(Ethan's encounter with the demon fetus was able to cause him enough harm that he felt it, Donna would definitely try to see if she could use her powers to trick your brain into not feeling as much pain)

She will also be attached to you at the hip, if you need space or can't be touched during your period, you need to tell her up front. She'll be very clingy when you are this miserable.

A little self indulgence here: while Donna does like her tea, she makes a KILLER hot chocolate. If chocolate brings you joy during your period, she has a constant, steady supply of it sent up to your room.

Salvatore Moreau

Salvatore engages Doctor mode immediately. For you to be in this much pain is both not normal and completely unacceptable. He's going to do his best to help.

This man absolutely used to be the Village doctor before his mutation, and as a result does Know His Shit. His siblings and mother may infantilize him to a certain degree, but that is mainly because Moreau's main issues are short term memory problems and his obsessive devotion to Mother Miranda that can make him regress. He's still competent as a doctor, and if he needs to reference anything, he still has some copies of medical textbooks.

He was also a Small Town Doctor, meaning he knows how to treat pain without access to traditional medicine, since often times he didn't have access to it.

It doesn't matter if you're not a tea person, you're still getting tea, made with herbs you don't know the name of and couldn't pronounce even if you did.

He doubles this up with more traditional pain relief methods like extra strength ibuprofen and heated compresses on the area. He might even talk you into doing a few exercises--it can help a lot with pain relief.

Still, when he's caring for you, sometimes he has to leave the room. He uses getting you a glass of water or another blanket as an excuse, but it's really so he can take a deep breath and center himself. Moreau is an empathetic man who loves you to pieces, and watching you cry silently into a pillow just...hurts.

Salvatore also does his best to distract you with anything he has on hand, mostly movies. While you two might normally playfully argue about which ones to watch, he will absolutely defer to you. I would recommend taking this time to watch a scary movie if you're a horror fan, there's literally no other time where Moreau would let you get away with it.

He is at your side constantly, and will only give you space if you ask for it. Even then, he will pop back in every few hours to check in.

Now for Fluff stuff: If you're not careful and watch him like he watches you, Moreau will run himself ragged trying to keep you comfortable.

The best solution to preventing this is coaxing him into bed with you. He might let out a couple of token protests, but one look at your pleading face takes all the fight right out of him.

He will cuddle up to you as close as possible and rub little circles into your back or stomach, whatever feels best. If you two are face to face, you can start to feel yourself relax in time with his breathing, and both of you slowly drift off to sleep together.

It's the best you've felt in days ❤️

Karl Heisenberg

Magnet Man is just... So lost...

You are writhing in agony in your bed, sobbing into a pillow, and so obviously suffering. He HATES to see you like this, because you're hurting and he doesn't know how to fix it.

Karl wants to hurt the things that hurt you, but when it's your own body rebelling against you and causing you pain...He wants to make it better for you but he can't.

He swallowed his pride IMMEDIATELY and called Moreau to the factory. Heisenberg might consider The Lord of the Reservoir to be a little slow in the head, but he used to be a doctor, and Karl is taking zero chances with your health.

He also pops by the Duke to pick up any kind of pain relief possible--Karl literally brings back 8 different brands of acetaminophen, hot water bottles, cocaine, opium, and enough alcohol to give an elephant a blackout. (Maybe he can get you to pass out long enough that you'll sleep through the worst of it?)

You will have to ask directly for cuddles if you want them--as handsy and clingy as Heisenberg is, he is so Bad At Feelings that he will just hover in the corner and work on projects to keep his hands busy. He doesn't know if you want to be touched, and is afraid to ask...but he really wants to keep an eye on you anyway.

#tw: periods #lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu x reader #donna beneviento x reader #salvatore moreau x reader #lord moreau x reader #karl heisenburg x reader #re8 #resident evil village #karl heisenberg #donna beneviento #alcina dimitrescu #salvatore moreau #resident evil #resident evil 8

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samwisethewitch · 4 years

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Earth-Friendly Witchcraft

Whatever religious or spiritual tradition they identify with, most witches agree that there is something sacred about the natural world. We draw our power from the earth beneath our feet, the sky over our heads, and the air in our lungs.

And yet, many of us live in societies that are actively contributing to the destruction of the natural world. Most developed nations have a linear economy, which means resources are extracted and then sent on a one-way trip to consumers who will use them and then throw them away. This leads to overflowing landfills, air and water pollution, and quickly disappearing resources. The World Economic Forum predicts that, if our habits don’t change, there will be more plastic than fish in the ocean by 2050. And I dearly hope that by now we’re all familiar with the reality of climate change and its devastating impact on global ecosystems.

I’m not trying to scare you, but I do want to point out the hypocrisy of drawing power from the Earth in our magic while simultaneously contributing to her destruction. If we truly want to consider ourselves spiritual allies of the planet, we need to make an effort to live our lives — and practice our magic — in ways that are less harmful to her.

You don’t have to become an environmentalist or switch to a zero waste lifestyle, but we can all make little changes for a more sustainable life. There’s lots of information out there about how to live a more Earth-friendly lifestyle, so in this post I’ll be focusing on how to apply that same philosophy to your witchcraft.

Steps to a more Earth-Friendly Practice:

Limiting your consumption will automatically lower your negative impact on the planet. Follow my previous guidelines for avoiding consumerism to start shrinking your carbon footprint.

Avoid plastic as much as possible. According to the WEF, 70% of our plastic ends up in a landfill or in the world’s waterways, and according to Julia Watkins, author of Simply Living Well, only 9% of household plastics get recycled. Plastic (unlike glass and metal) cannot be recycled indefinitely — it can only be recycled a handful of times before it becomes too degraded to be repurposed any further. There really is no way to make plastic safer for the planet, so it’s best to just avoid it altogether. Look for tools made of metal, wood, or glass instead of plastics, and try to order things shipped in paper and cardboard when possible.

Create spells that won’t leave leftovers. One of the big contributing factors to our current environmental crisis is that we just produce too much waste. You can avoid this in your magical practice by crafting spells that won’t leave you throwing away a big ball of candle wax, herbs, and paper. Kitchen magic is a no-brainer for this, since kitchen spells are meant to be eaten. If you want to do a candle spell, use small candles that will burn up completely — I find larger candles are more likely to leave leftover wax. Making magical bath salts is another great option for leftover-free spells — just make sure everything you include is safe to go down the drain and won’t contribute to water pollution!

Forage for your own spell materials. One of the best ways to avoid plastic packaging and cut down on emissions from shipping is to use materials from your backyard! Learn about the plants, animals, and minerals native to your area, and take regular nature walks where you can gather what you need. Remember to only take as much as you need and to be careful never to damage the plants you harvest from. Make sure to carefully disinfect any animals bits you pick up — you can do this by burying them in salt for a full moon cycle and/or setting them in the sun/under a UV light for several days. If you find a dead animal and want to strip and clean its bones for use in ritual, this is a much more involved process and will require special research, equipment, and lots of time. And, of course, never eat anything you have foraged unless you happen to have an advanced degree in botany.

Keep a magical garden. Another great way to connect with the planet and shrink your carbon footprint is to grow your own herbs, vegetables, and fruits. You can, of course, grow food for your kitchen if you have space, but even if you live in a tiny apartment you can grow a handful of magical herbs in pots. For a list of common houseplants and their magical associations, check out this post.

Shop for spell materials at a local farmer’s market. Buying local is a great way to avoid the environmental impact of shipping produce, and it allows you to support small farms. Farmer’s markets also typically carry seasonal produce, which can help you align your magical practice with the cycles of nature. Farmer’s markets are a great way to find seasonal fruits and vegetables for kitchen magic, but you can use the produce you find there for other types of spells as well.

Trade paraffin wax candles for beeswax or soy wax. Paraffin, the material used for most cheap candles, is a by-product of crude oil, which is not only highly unsustainable but contains carcinogens (chemicals that may cause cancer). Beeswax is a sustainable alternative, and beeswax candles produce a “clean” burn, meaning it does not negatively affect air quality. Soy wax is a slightly pricier, vegan-friendly sustainable option that also produces a clean burn.

Use undyed, unbleached paper for your written spells. The bleaches and dyes used in most commercially available paper have a toxic effect on the environment. Colored paper cannot be recycled or composted because it will contaminate everything it touches. Use plain, unbleached paper for your written spells, especially if you plan to bury them in the ground or dispose of them outside.

Make sure your essential oils are ethically harvested. Essential oils are tricky — although they are marketed as natural, many of them are produced through unsustainable methods. Because essential oils are concentrated, it may take thousands of pounds of plants to produce a single pound of oil. This can have a devastating impact, especially for endangered plants like white sage or palo santo. Look for ethically-sourced, wild-harvested essential oils — these are oils that are gathered from the wild in ways that don’t hurt the local ecosystem. Mountain Rose Herbs and Eden’s Garden are two brands that are committed to sustainable essential oil production.

Instead of burying a spell in a jar, bury it in a hollowed-out fruit or vegetable. Many traditions call for spells to be buried in the ground. Items like jar spells and witch bottles are traditionally buried on the witch’s property. The problem with this is that plastic and glass bottles do not biodegrade, and will remain in the ground for years. Instead of putting these materials in the ground, bury your spells in a hollowed-out fruit or vegetable. As a bonus, you can choose this item to support your intention. For example, you might use an apple for a love spell or a spicy pepper for protection. Just make sure everything inside the spell is also biodegradable!

Keep a compost pile as an offering to your local land spirits. Compost is an easy way to reduce food waste, and it gives your garden a boost! Even if you don’t have your own garden, you can give your compost to a fiend who does or look into donating it to a community garden. When composting, it’s important to maintain a balance between carbon-rich “brown” ingredients (leaves, undyed paper, cardboard, etc.) and nitrogen-rich “greens” (fruit and veggie scraps, coffee grounds, egg shells, etc.) — you want about four times as much brown as green in your compost. Start your compost with a layer of brown — preferably twigs or straw to allow good airflow. Alternate layers of green and brown materials as you add to the pile. Every time you add to your compost, verbally express your gratitude to the land spirits. Your compost should be moist, but not soggy — you’ll know it’s ready when it’s dark and crumbly and smells like soil.

Make your own tea blends with loose herbs and a reusable tea strainer instead of buying teabags. Witches and tea go together like peanut butter and chocolate, but the individual wrappers on teabags create a lot of waste. On top of that, since many of these wrappers are dyed, they may not even be recyclable. Keep your teas earth-friendly by buying dried herbs in bulk and blending your own teas. Making your own blends is not only better for the planet, but also allows you to choose each ingredient for a specific magical intention.

Find ways to use your trash in your craft. This one is pretty self-explanatory. Instead of throwing things away, find ways to use them in your magic! Use food scraps from cooking, like carrot greens and potato peels, in spells. Turn an old shoe box into a travel altar. Add your coffee grounds to spells to ground them and manifest results in the physical world. You get the idea. Be creative!

Research different models for Earth-friendly living, like the zero waste/low waste lifestyle, sustainability, and the solarpunk movement. This will give you more ideas for a sustainable lifestyle, as well as a sustainable magical practice.

The funny thing about Earth-friendly living is that, the more time you spend taking care of the planet, the more connected you feel to it. I encourage you to try some of the ideas on this list — you’ll be amazed by how quickly you develop a deeper relationship with the Earth and all her creatures.

Resources:

Of Blood and Bones by Kate Freuler

Simply Living Well by Julia Watkins

“By 2050, there will be more plastic than fish in the world’s oceans, study says” from The Washington Post

A Sustainable Mind podcast

Practical(ly) Zero Waste podcast

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princesscandijane · 3 years

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Males Reasons to Shave with some tips

A quick guide for those wanting to shave, but cannot seem to find the reasons to. As well as some tips on how to shave.

Groin

As a favor for someone going down on you. Think about how much you enjoy pulling pubes out of your teeth. I shave my groin every morning, as part of my morning routine. Takes me no less time to shave my face if you do it daily, and I could probably go every other day without notice.

Shaving Groin

From various blogs and articles

Trim—Bust out your trimmer and prep the area by trimming off a good chunk of the bush before you dive in with a razor. This helps ensure that you have total visibility and don’t miss any important areas. Take your time, trimming in small sections starting at the bottom and working your way up to the stomach.

Shave—Generously apply shave cream that you can see through, creating a layer of cream about a millimeter thick on top of the areas where you want to shave. Holding the skin taut with one hand and taking it extra-slow with the other, lightly shave IN THE DIRECTION that the hair grows. Avoid using too much pressure. Rinse the razor with every pass and, when completely done shaving, rinse the body with warm water.

Use a new/sharp razor– DON’T use a dull blade or disposable razor.

Shave Your Balls—The golden rule of ball-shaving is to always hold the skin taut so there are no wrinkles or curves that could catch skin or cause cuts.

Rinse with Cool Water—Make sure you give your junk a good rinse in cool water after you’re done shaving to soothe the skin and close the pores. This will also help prevent any ingrown hairs or irritation.

Asshole

Dingleberries. If you have ever had to wipe away a dingleberry, that should inspire you to at least trim around the asshole. Full shave can be difficult, but again, how attractive do you find a hairy ass? So consider trimming. I don’t shave completely because I’m worried about nicking something, so I wear a butt plug and shave around it.

Guide to Asshole shaving

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/27dh1x/how_do_i_shave_my_asshole/

Use a moustache/nose hair trimmer to trim off all the excess hair until it's short enough to feel like 2 day old stubble, and then apply good hair conditioner or shaving gel and exfoliate using a loofah or washcloth. The idea is to get all the hair up and on end and stimulate the skin while opening the pores; this avoids ingrown hair and razor burn, which you do not want on your butthole.

Now wash your butthole. Intensely. You do not want to leave any stone unturned, so to speak. Shove your soapy finger up there and really get your sphincters squeaky clean. Don't hurt yourself, just make sure you don't have any icky fecal matter or tiny sharp hair nuggets trapped in the mysterious crevices of your anal caverns.

Use a BRAND NEW 4-blade disposable razor/razor blade cartridge. Don't use a dull blade or you will regret it. Shave with the grain, first, not against it. Rinse after each and every stroke of the blade against your skin. Re-apply conditioner/gel and shave again, this time against the grain and again be sure to rinse after every stroke. Rinse completely and then give it a quick wash with some plain antibacterial soap (kills bacteria on the open skin so should avoid irritation from fecal matter etc that you may have missed during your butthole cleansing).

Now comes the rough part - preventative care. Grab a bottle of witch hazel and spritz it on a washcloth, and pat the fuck out of your butthole with that shit. IT WILL BURN LIKE HELL FOR A SECOND IF YOU DO IT RIGHT. It is not the end of the world. Your butthole is not on fire and you will live to poo another day. After witch hazel-ing the hell out of your ass, lay tummy-down on your bed or on a towel on the floor and either:

When your butthole has been sufficiently aired out and dried, apply non-scented women's roll-on deodorant. This sounds stupid and weird but trust me, it helps. Dove no-scent is the best I've found. This will avoid chafing while walking, irritation as the hair grows back, general stink, and will provide you with some cushioning.

Chest, Back, Arms, Armpits

Do you think any of them are naturally smooth? Once a week I take a nice hot bath, relax with a bowl and shave everything below my neck. Takes me an hour at most.

I think we can acknowledge that a smooth body is sexy regardless of gender. How weird would it be for there to be hair

Vs. how is this for hair?

Once a week shaving. The more often you keep up with it the easier it is and the less time it takes.

Shaving Chest Tips

various blogs

Before beginning to shave, be sure to trim any long chest hairs to make the process easier.

Apply plenty of shaving gel over your chest and any other areas that you intend to shave.

Begin shaving, using short, gentle, and slow strokes for a clean shave without any nicks or cuts.

After each stroke, rinse the blade to avoid getting it clogged and causing a messy shave.

Once you’ve completed shaving and removed all unwanted hair, rinse your chest thoroughly and apply an aftershave product, such as the one that you use for your face.

Remember to also exfoliate the area twice a week with a quality body scrub to reduce the risk of ingrown hairs.

As the nipple is really sensitive and may not want to risk a nik, I recommend using a tweezer. Before you tweeze, take a hot shower—the heat will open up hair follicles, so it’s easier to grab the root—and pat the skin around your nipples dry. Pull each strand quickly and firmly in the direction your hair grows.

Shaving Armpit

from Men’s Health

Trim Your Armpit Hair First

If you’ve never shaved your underarms before, chances are you’ll need to trim those patches down for the easiest and most comfortable shave . It’ll make less of a mess in the shower as well (because nothing is worse than a clogged drain full of man-hair).

Exfoliate Your Under Arms Before Shaving

Sure, you don’t have to exfoliate, but you should to avoid pesky, painful ingrown hairs. A loofah or exfoliating body scrub will do the trick to remove dead skin cells and bacteria (along with any deodorant gunk) to help you achieve the smoothest shave without razor burn.

Shave Your Armpits Wet in the Shower

You can cut it dry, but Whitely recommends to do it in the shower. Hot water softens the hair and reduces the risk of pulled hair or nicks, he says. Shave towards the end of your time in the shower and use shaving gel for added moisture to prevent irritation.

Shave Slow and With a Good Razor

It's not a race, folks. To avoid razor burn and skin irritation, take it slow with your razor blade to make sure you get the closest shave. Unlike the hair on your face, underarm hair grows in all different directions, so make sure to shave sideways, as well top-to-bottom. Toss your old dull razor, and opt for one with a sharp blade and a pivoting head to move with the curves of your armpits for a more effective, easier shave.

Legs

First shaved legs feel amazing. Everyone deserves to know the feeling of freshly shaved legs. Second how are hairy legs, feet, and toes sexy?

Quick guide to shaving legs

Taken from Glamor and Cosmopolitan

1. Trim

If it's the first time you're removing your leg hair, you might want to carefully trim the area with an electric razor. This will stop your razor clogging up, causing you to miss patches of hair.

2. Soak your skin before shaving

“Hydrating the hairs makes them up to 60 per cent easier to cut”, says Dr Anita Sturnham, Venus Ambassador. “Soak your skin for two to three minutes before shaving.”

Use warm water when you're bent over the bathtub in the middle of winter with goose bumps on your legs, it's tempting to have the shower on boiling hot. But hot water is not your friend when it comes to shaving because it closes your pores. Warm water opens your pores, allowing your hairs to soften (making the whole shaving process a lot smoother).

3. Do not lather your legs with shampoo

Dr Sturnham says using shampoo or body wash as shave prep can, “increase your risk of redness and irritation, and blunt your razor blades.”

4. Don't go ham on the shaving cream

You really only need a thin layer of shaving cream to do the job. Too much will clog up your blades, slowing down your shaving time and making it impossible to see where you already shaved. Of course you don't really need to buy shaving cream in the first place, hair conditioner works just as well (if not better).

5. Always shave against the direction hair growth

To get your closest shave possible, shave against the direction of your hair growth. For the legs, start at the ankle and work your way up towards the knee.If you’re using a good blade, this won’t cause any irritation and will cut the hair right at the root for a longer-lasting shave.

6. Don't apply too much pressure to your razor

Your razor shouldn’t make a dent in your skin in order to work.“ The razor should glide across the skin, not drag”, says Adam Boulding, Venus Scientific Communications. “Remember to use a light touch, exerting as little pressure as possible.”If you need to press your razor firmly to work, it can be a sign your blades need changing.

7. Short strokes

If you're shaving from your ankle to your knee in one long stroke, you are guaranteed to have missed hairs. It's just impossible for your razor to keep contact with every single hair for that long. That's why you need to shave with short strokes. Short strokes = less missed hairs.

8. Change your razor blades regularly

A blunt blade not only increases friction against the skin, but also the likelihood of missed hairs. There are many factors that can impact blade life, including your hair type, how much of your body you’re shaving and how you store your razor. Roughly every ten shaves. If you shave daily then about every 1-2 weeks, if you shave 2-3 times a day then every 3-4 weeks. You should also change your blades whenever you start to feel tugging or pulling during your shave.

9. Don't use razors with less than four blades

The number of blades you use is actually super important. The less blades you have, the higher the chance of cuts and nicks.

“A razor with more blades means that the pressure is distributed across more evenly”, says Boulding. “Therefore less pressure is applied to any one spot of skin during the shave, reducing the probability of cuts.”

10. Use a manoeuvrable razor head

The second thing to look for in terms of razor quality is the manoeuvrability of the razor head. When it comes to the backs of knees and areas like ankles, where the bone is close to the skin surface, you need a razor that moves with the curves of your skin to glide over trickier areas. A stagnant blade will only increase the chance of missed hairs or cuts.

11. Always bend a knee

Knees are notoriously the most tricky spot to shave. The solution? Sarah says to slightly bend the knee.

“This will pull the skin tight before shaving, as folded skin is difficult to shave.”

Try propping your leg up on the side of the bath.

12. Don't forget your aftercare

If you suffer from red bumps after shaving, rinsing properly is a must post-shave. If you can bare cold water, this is even better to ensure the pores are closed.

Sarah also recommends leaving the skin to rest for at least 30 minutes before applying lotions or moisturisers, to avoid inflammation.

“If you must moisturise immediately following shaving, select a cream formula rather than a lotion, and avoid exfoliating moisturisers that may contain alpha hydroxy acids,” she adds. If not, it will sting!

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ohnobjyx · 4 years

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I've seen so many sol0 fans or just people that have watched cql and cares for the cast, talking about how they feel that bjyx is something one sided and unrequited. some comments about how xz (in the later fan meetings) is kinda just patiently indulging yb but clearly was not v happy about it. Sometimes I do think xz is more reserved and seems to try to "tame" yb to be more discreet about their, whatever it is, thing but i don't particularly think he is cold? What do you think?

I know it may sound odd but is there some analysis about Xiao feelings towards Yibo? I mean this guy is head over heels for him, no doubt about that but I don’t really feel the same from Xiao? I mean I could be wrong since I’m new there and didn’t read a lot of analysis so if you have some can you link them please? Thank you! And I don’t ask this in a « wrong » way like I genuinely feel like there’s something but I don’t see the same feelings towards each other. Again, I could be wrong!

Hi, anons. These asks has been sitting for the longest time in my inbox, so I decided to tackle them today (still writing two days later, I’ve desisted on creating a more organized post and I’m just dumping my thoughts here this time).

(It’s also that I’m frustrated about this, because these are two of the most polite ones, but I’ve also received others less well worded ones, that basically imply that there’s nothing from gg).

For the anon asking for some analysis, I’ll leave a link here to a post that basically sums up my own thoughts.

Disclaimer: as always, don’t take bjyx seriously. Pure speculation here.

Long post.

Before I start, I want to say that I shouldn’t be the one to convince you to anything. It’s never my intention to impart the “universal truth” or to be patronising. If any of you really feels that there’s nothing from gg, no matter what I say, you won’t be convinced by my post alone. And it’s alright to agree to disagree. Just keep it in mind.

I feel that what anons describe it’s something that often happens to new bxg. Dd’s so obvious, so painfully obvious that in comparison, gg is much more “discreet” (well, we had to learn to read Lan Wangji’s expressions, didn’t we? The same happens with gg’s gestures). I don’t agree with the idea of dismissing someone’s love just because they aren’t as obvious and as telling as their partner at first glance (gg’s songs and drawings aren’t as straightforward, but they are there for those who care to listen and see).

From my pov, I think it’s very very probable that they are together. So, that works both ways for me. I don’t think dd’s love unrequited. They take care of each other in ways that speak of a high level of trust, intimacy and chemistry (yes, I initially wrote that post for these asks). I’ve talked about subtle ways to display your love, because when you love someone it’s difficult to hide it, and gg has a hard time trying to hide for the cameras.

(I’m still thinking of Happy Camp, when dd hurt his neck with the necklace... gg’s reaction wasn’t controlled in the slightest, and the combination of worry and anger would be a interesting combo if gg indeed wasn’t anything to dd or if he hadn’t gifted him the necklace).

Gg often has a hard time controlling his reactions when dd is involved. He’s much more natural, a lot closer to how he really is instead of his very polite and soft public persona. He get a glimpse of him in the bts (I suppose they never expected CQL to be so popular, and didn’t thought that the bts would be so watched a year afterwards), and comparing how he is in the bts with dd to how he usually is in other interviews and events with other people is a very interesting exercise.

It’s true that gg in the interviews seemed to try to hold back dd, to the point that they both lied sometimes in the interviews... the effect they caused was contrary to what they wanted. Definitely. Because they tended to forget what they had lied about, and the “plot” had holes everywhere. Like gg reacting surprised to the possibility of dd starting a fashion brand. Twice. In the same day. Or the eggplant/carrots thing. Or the “I didn’t know you slept with the lights on, but I’m aware of your sleeping pattern” thing. Please note that these three plot holes were caused by gg (in the second case, I’m refering to carrots ofc).

About what the first anon says of “how xz (in the later fan meetings) is kinda just patiently indulging yb but clearly was not v happy about it”. It’s one thing that by then they’d have noticed that their cp had attracted a whole lot more attention that they had ever expected it to and a whole another thing to “indulge” someone (as if only dd wanted it and gg had nothing to say about it) and “not be very happy about it”. Gg might have tried, but even he couldn’t completely erase all of the little moments directed at dd (and you have to take into account that gg was actually sick in the last fan meeting in Nanjing, that’s bound to affect his mood too).

(There’s no one else when they look at each other. No wonder Wen Ning achieved such a third wheel look when they were filming the boat scene, I suppose it’s taken from real life).

How gg looks at dd and only smirks when dd looks up... well, gg still makes his best effort at being discreet...

And dd in this moment... well, what can one do when a man like gg looks at you like that? (dd.exe has stopped working. Please restart).

Source of the gifs: 仙娱

Last but not least, I’d like to talk a little about W/ibo Night, the main source of many people’s doubts. I’ve seen many analysis, from “poor puppy dd following gg around” (that’s... bs) to some better analysis that deserve to be taken into account.

W/ibo Night is an event organized by a state controlled social media platform. It’s one of the most observed events of the years, with potential future employers and coworkers, apart from the government, so it’s not just them, but everyone is very serious and controlled in their actions.

They obviously had agreed beforehand on how to behave in this one. While dd is very serious, he doesn’t seem angry or sad that gg isn’t looking his way. However, they both can’t help but look in each other’s direction (gg’s more discreet, but pay attention and you’ll see him side glancing at dd at least three times on stage) and the way dd turns just so he can have a look at gg is... 🤦

They tried so hard that it ended up getting the effect they wanted to avoid: when everybody else was greeting each other (friendly hadshakes, patting their backs, etc.) these two just stood there, a little awkwardly. It became obvious to most people that they were acting as if they were strangers.

I think (speculation here) that while they had agreed to act as if they didn’t know each other, gg was... off that night. His eyes were very bright (as if teary, so not in a good way) and his smiles were tense, so I’d say in a bad mood or maybe he was feeling under the weather. I think dd was worried, so that’s why he kept glancing at him (I’ve read about the rumours of why gg was like that, but I tend to dismiss them if there’s no proof).

For someone as polite as gg, to walk so obviously in front of dd when they were getting on stage (c-culture here: the one who walks in front has more seniority/authority, so gg always lets the other people walk in front of him as a sign of politeness and respect), speaks of a familiarity that exceeds that of coworkers. Dd’s actions need no more words: waiting for gg and letting him walk in front comes naturally to him.

Choosing fans (though at first, dd just looks at gg choose his). I don’t know if you remember, but gg chose “I can do it” and dd chose “I have it difficult” (as a way of saying “I can’t”). I think it was entirely a coincidence, because dd was looking at his gg choosing his fan, the one he had wanted at first was taken by another person, so he chose this one as “I couldn’t take the fan I wanted” and “it’s difficult for me to choose”.

However, look at the happy and surprised smile from gg when he notices that his fan and dd’s make a pair (similar to “yes” and “no”, gg had filmed an ad for the event in which he linked this two exact phrases as opposites). A sad spoiler: this is the only time he truly, spontaneously smiles at the event (and notice how dd’s face inmediately mirrors gg’s and how he tries to rein it in a second later).

I couldn’t find a video, but just before leaving the stage, dd looks at gg again and shakes his fan. Without a single word, gg understands that dd is asking from where to leave the stage, and makes the slightest movement with his fan to point the way. I assure you, this level of 默契 (mo qi) is difficult to find even in established long time relationships.

Once they are seated, gg leaves for a second and tells dd “I’m leaving” and dd answers “okay”. There’d be no need for this interaction unless they’re still friends/couple.

This one broke my heart a little: dd had been sitting on a plastic bottle the whole time. Usually gg clears his seat when dd comes (Nanjing fan meeting, Tencent awards night), probably because he has noticed that dd doesn’t care that he’s sitting on things. Dd left earlier the event because of his schedule, and once gg came back from getting his w/ibo king award, he sits on dd’s seat. And notices the water bottle under him. Even his poker face can’t hide the sad fondness “aiyo this boy...”

Some say he sat in the seat next to dd’s, but there’s a video I can’t seem to find (the despair is real) of gg sitting on the water bottle, so it’s indeed dd’s seat.

Also, you may try to think this from your own perspective: when and why would you sit in another person’s seat in an event as important as this one? If I try to answer this from my pov, I’d say that first I’d need to know that that person wouldn’t mind me sitting there and/or knowing that this person isn’t going to come back to the event. In both cases, it requires communication and trust between these two people. Gg had to know that dd was leaving first (and why would dd tell gg if not because they chat about their work schedules?) and that dd wouldn’t mind once the fancams made it to social media. This is what I think, at least.

Okay, so here ends my post. I just exposed some of my thoughts on why I think yizhan is NOT one sided or unrequited. But of course, you’re allowed to disagree with me, anons, since we are all in the speculation ground here. Nonetheless, note that this is a yizhan/bjyx blog, which implies (at least for me) that there are feelings from both sides, so I may not interact further with one-sided yizhan/bjyx asks.

(BTW, I found a very complete post of moments where yizhan isn’t one sided here, so I decided not to elaborate on those moments in this post).

#yizhan #bjyx #not one sided #but I think people need to see that for themselves #I don't want to be a preacher here #so this is still my opinion

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wantaichi · 4 years

Text

haikyuu + skincare hcs

ever think abt how they treat their skin? probably not. but like. do they wash their face like a normal person? have a 32 step skincare routine maybe??

msg me for any character who’s not here and i’ll drop their routine for u

masterlist.

karasuno

sugawara. lives up to his title as mr. refreshing. cleanses, tones, and moisturizes. !chefs kiss! keeps a jar of aloe vera face gel in his fridge, his mom had a spare. carries around a 100-sheet pack of oil film, more out of habit than of need. good skincare just makes him feel in control of his life, ok

ennoshita. fuckin’ spotless. part of the 0.0001% who don’t sweat easily. doesn’t have a complete regimen but never skips out on cleansing and toning before bed. actually reads the product ingredients and googles the benefits before buying. neutrogena type of guy.

asahi. facial scrubs are his holy grail. like. dead skin? stubborn hair follicles? haha not on his watch ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ trims his goatee every 3-4 week bc a well-groomed beard goes hand in hand with proper skincare. a sucker for aromatic products. lavender? shea butter? SOLD.

daichi. “healthy lifestyle is key to healthy skin“ typa dude. rly just thinks natural is the way to go. drinks 8 glasses of water, eats his veggies, exercises regularly, gets 8 hours of sleep. sounds like smth off wikihow if u ask me. probably is.

tsukishima. cetaphil hoe. brand loyalty embodied. on it for 5++ years, and never once considered switching. BUT. his routine ends at step 1. cleanse. and that’s it. the fuck he need a 32 step skincare routine for? long as he gets a day’s worth of grime and dirt off his face, he gucci

yamaguchi. sensitive skin’s got him constantly changing/exploring different products. rode on tsukki’s cetaphil agenda for the first few years of puberty (rly just out of curiousity) but dropped out when his skin got used to it. thinks pimple patches are a blessing to mankind.

tanaka. fuck. chaotic greasy. asks for oil film from suga just to stick it on his forehead, lets it stay there. uses whatever’s in the bathroom to wash off, aka majority of saeko’s products. got yelled at once to “get his greasy ass over here” and got slabbed with aztec healing clay mask. converted to clay mask hoe after 20 minutes. “mm this shit’s dope!”

nishinoya. fuck. chaotic greasy part ii. but make it baby face. only does skincare when chillin at the tanakas. homie got him to try the clay mask bc chick’s dig that. “bro, u mean the mask or boys who do the mask?” “both bro” “awshit bro gimme that” thinks splashing some water twice a week is enough

kageyama. ? this yalls mans? oblivious to the whole concept of skincare, only acknowledges general hygiene. uses whatever’s on the soap holder to wash his face. probably dove. doesnt really have much skin problems to begin with, only breaks out once a year. living proof that god has favorites.

hinata. only started taking skincare seriously that time a huge ass zit grew on his chin. yachi offered him her unfinished bottle of cosrx (she’s a hoarder and u kno it), and has since been giving him all her leftover bottles. basically gets to use good quality products for free smh

nekoma

kuroo. not very big on the idea of skincare per se, but supports any brand on that cruelty-free and vegan agenda. reads the product ingredients like a children’s book. “mm phenoxyethanol and retinyl palmitate.. i’ll take it.” always leaves the saleslady stunned.

kenma. too lazy to adopt a routine. but regularly uses his mom’s facial wash. you know. those mom brands. has a stash of facemasks from lev’s trip to korea —> only form of skincare he actually appreciates bc he can simultaneously play his games and be all bout dat self care

lev. abuses his perks of having a sister. casually uses all alisa’s imported, high end stuff. la prairie. estee lauder. la mer. and she doesn’t mind bc her “levochka deserves all the finest things”. boujee ass russians

yaku. baby face. when god made it rain collagen, he was freestylin in a pool full of it while we was all sleepin. doesn’t exert much effort, just cleanses and tones bc it’s part of proper hygiene. girls envy him. parents in their 40s wanna be him.

seijoh

oikawa. SKINCARE HOE KING. fuckin high maintenance. goes to the derma for his monthly laser facial treatment. on broke days, he settles for a diamond peel. skin so smooth it puts the entire female population to shame. spends his savings on those clinique eye creams. probably modeled for the face shop once

iwaizumi. homie reeks of male cleanser. might either dove men or nivea men. there’s no in between. oikawa internally screams everytime he witnesses his bff wash his face. two words. aggressive. rubbing. bordering on hostile he might actually skin his face off

mattsun and makki. fuck. drugstore cleansers. the ones that come in sachets. agreed to take turns in buying bundles for sharing. sometimes sneaks a pinch from oikawa’s clinique products when he’s not looking. haha dumb hoe. may have an addiction to charcoal nose pore strips just so they can compare blackheads

fukurodani

bokuto. buys whatever’s on sale idfk. genuinely wants to get on kuroo’s go green agenda but too lazy to look around the store. normally just uses the bubbles from his soap or shampoo. his belief: if it cleans his hands and his ass, then it can fuckin clean his face too

akaashi. healthy lifestyle + decent regimen = pretty skin. cleanses and tones. tried his mom’s aloe vera face gel once and got hooked. shit’s relaxing as hell. owns a bunch of facemasks, sometimes uses but keeps forgetting to take them off before falling asleep. uwu af

dateko

futakuchi. doesn’t have a routine cause “who tf needs that” and “obviously not me.” or so he says. secretly the biggest spender on skincare in all of dateko. owns a bunch of anti wrinkle products and probably one of those jade rollers. but no one needs to know that. just wants everyone to think he’s naturally pretty

aone. told by futakuchi that “knitting your brows too much causes premature wrinkles, but not like i’m an expert on that hhhahaha dont get me wrong.” can’t rly do anything bout it. he was born with that face. also buys whatever’s on sale

shiratorizawa

ushijima. surprisingly blemish free? but not entirely smooth? just spotless? basically a rock? never went past step 1: cleanse. never realized he’s been skipping out the 31 next steps. cetaphil hoe.

tendou. dry. crusty. compensates by sweating a lot through practice. might be effective if he’d stop leaving the foam on longer than recommended, thus leaving his skin dryer than his love life. yeah, i went there.

shirabu. flawless at first glance. until you lift those uneven ass bangs. tbh its nothing serious except “are we gonna ignore the fact that his whiteheads follow the shape of his bangs” as pointed out by tendou. uses whatever cleanser his mom buys for him

semi. decent skin care routine. a big boy who’s fairly knowledgeable on other brands outside cetaphil and dove/garnier/nivea men. takes him less than 5 minutes to pick a product bc he’s tried them all, knows what works, knows his skin type in and out. stan semi for clear skin.

see inarizaki + sakusa here

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readyplayerhobi · 4 years

Text

Flower | 29

; Hoseok x Reader

;Genre: Fluff, slight angst

; Warnings: Discussions of periods and contraception

; Word Count: 4.6k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: I know it’s taking a long time for me to update this but I hope you enjoy it :D Please reblog if you do and let me know what you think my commenting on this or sending me an ask!

; Flower Masterpost

“Hey, meeps,” You hear Hoseok’s voice calling to you from the end of the aisle, his new nickname for you now gaining its own nickname as well. “If sunflower oil is made from sunflowers, and coconut oil is made from coconuts...then baby oil…”

He trails off, raising his eyebrows and giving you a scandalous look as he holds up a bottle of baby oil. For a moment, you just stare at him blankly before sighing and rolling your eyes in amusement. Taking the bottle from him, you place it back down onto the shelf before linking your arm through his.

Thankfully, he lets you direct him back to the little section they have in this makeup and skincare store that’s fully dedicated to Korean beauty. This is one of those strange stores where they have tons of products that are basically on sale yet also have branded stuff alongside it. Not that you cared though; it had the Korean brands you swore by for your skin and you were more than tempted to try out the Japanese beauty stand next to it.

For someone who isn’t particularly bothered about the whole concept of skincare, though you had managed to convince him to at least improve his routine, Hoseok was being a pretty good boyfriend right now. He hadn’t complained about the half an hour you’d spent perusing the makeup to find new stuff to put into your collection and he still wasn’t complaining as you filled your basket with face masks.

If anything, he’d managed to entertain himself quite well.

But you think he was being good purely because you’d gone with him to a concert last night. It had been for one of his favourite bands, Metallica, and he’d ended up with a spare ticket as Jungkook had ended up ill with food poisoning. He had been about to go on his own, but you hadn’t liked the thought of him being lonely so you’d gone with him.

You’d recognised some of the songs they’d played from whenever Hoseok played them in the car or the house but it hadn’t been your scene. Still, it had been fun enough and you’d more than enjoyed seeing Hoseok happy as he’d rocked out to his beloved band.

It did mean that you were exceptionally tired today though as the two of you hadn’t gotten home from the stadium they’d performed in until after 2 am. That had been the closest performance apparently and you’d been shattered, sleeping until well after 11 am. Hoseok had promised you a day of relaxation, which you’d jumped on by asking him to do a full Korean skincare routine with you tonight.

He’d agreed, and you’d eagerly dragged him out to this store to replenish your supplies. The makeup was just because it was there and you couldn’t resist it. Already you were coming up with ideas for looks in your head that you could create and then put onto your Instagram. Moving places had meant that you hadn’t done many looks lately and you were eager to change that.

Especially now that you had a yard to take nice photos in. Hoseok and you had both been working hard on the weekends and evenings to transform the yard from the overgrown mess it had been into something nice. Nothing too amazing or expensive as it wasn’t your own house but nice enough that it made from some pretty aesthetic photos.

Placing a final bottle of moisturiser in your basket, you smile at Hoseok and hold it up proudly. He just looks at you in amusement for a second before smiling back.

“All done! We can go to pay now.” While you pay for all your new stuff, he goes and waits outside for you. Which you discover means he intently window shops at the video game store, getting that look on his face when he wants to do something.

Feeling that your bladder is a little too full right now, you glance over to where the public restrooms are and move over to Hoseok. “You can go in if you want, I’m going to the restroom so I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He takes your bag for you like the gentleman he is before disappearing inside, immediately making a beeline for the Playstation 4 section. You have a feeling he might be about to drop some money given how interested he’d been in some of the new games that have been released in the last few months.

Any thoughts of games are wiped from your mind very quickly though when you’re on the toilet. The sight of red staining your underwear has your eyes widening in horror as you realise that your period has decided to make an early appearance. For a moment you simply stare, brow creasing before you reach for your bag and grab your phone.

The period app you use says that you shouldn’t have started for another four days and you curse your body for doing whatever it likes. Scowling at the stain, you attempt to clean it before sighing in defeat, acknowledging that at least you were wearing black jeans today.

Another rummage in your bag causes you to find another problem, this one sending ice water running through your veins. Grabbing it and placing it onto your knees, you visually scan through every space and almost pull out the entire contents before letting out a small sound of despair.

You had no tampons.

Cursing to yourself quietly, you finish up and make do with an almost ridiculously large amount of toilet paper. Rushing out, you wash your hands before moving over to the machine that always had condoms, sanitary pads and tampons.

Only to see the ‘sold out’ sign on both the buttons you need. Groaning quietly, you do a little dance of frustration as you realise there are not even any other women in the restroom for you to ask. Not that you would. As if your social anxiety would allow for that!

So instead you have to slink outside and into the game shop, lip jutting out in a slight pout as you become hyper-aware of yourself. Can other people smell the blood? What if you leak through all the toilet paper and it does somehow show through your jeans?! What if you leak through onto a chair!

Hoseok wanted to get something to eat after this and you were dreading having to sit there for ages. Playing with your fingers nervously, you move over to where he’s crouched in front of the PS4 stand. He already has two game cases in his hand and is reading the back of another one, your bag of goodies on the floor between his feet.

Glancing up at you, he grins brightly before showing the cover of one of the cases he’s got.

“Look! The Spider-Man game is on sale! You want to play this, right?” Absentmindedly, you nod. The back of your mind takes in the fact that he’s also got Divinity: Original Sin 2 in his ‘buy’ hand and the other case he’s considering is the Doom remake. You wish that you could let him browse more but the drug store wasn’t close by and you didn’t want to just abandon him suddenly.

Still, the thought of what was going on down below was overwhelming and you found yourself shaking his shoulder slightly.

“Hey, are you done? Can we go?” Reaching down, you take your bag back and stand back as he rises, the crease between his brows letting you know he’s a little confused as to why you’re suddenly rushing him. He knows full well that there’s nothing important you need to do.

Still, though, he doesn’t question it and instead nods slowly. While he goes and pays for the games he’s buying, you go to wait by the entrance. Wrapping your arms around your waist, you realise that the low ache in your back that you’d had for a day or so was one of those early symptoms you got of your period.

Only you hadn’t thought anything about it. Not when you’d spent a few hours last night stood up. You’d just thought it was because you’d done a lot of work in the yard combined with the concert. Apparently not.

You’re pretty much already walking in the direction of the drug store by the time Hoseok comes out, causing him to have to jog to catch up with you. All you can think about is whether or not walking faster or slower would make things worse.

“Woah, hey, where are we going?” Hoseok asks, matching his speed to yours. You’re just thankful that there are not too many people out shopping today because it would only increase your stress levels if there was a big queue that you had to wait in or something.

“Just, to this store.” Admittedly, you’re not being very open and honest right now. But you’re embarrassed. Hoseok is fully aware of your periods and that they’re very much a thing that happens. They’d become a little more irregular recently as you’d had a copper IUD put in around a month before moving in with him.

Nothing drastic or anything, but then again they were also sometimes longer and a little heavier than you were used to when you were on the pill. It wasn’t exactly something you enjoyed talking about with anyone though; Soyeon and Chungha were pretty open about this kind of stuff but you had always mostly stayed quiet whenever they talked about it.

Which was silly. They were women who fully understood what you were going through and Hoseok understood that it was a monthly event. So it wasn’t like he’d be shocked to find out or anything. If anything, you’d probably done a bit of a bad job in explaining some things to him as you’d always got too shy whenever he’d asked things.

That was bad, you were well aware. But you’d only really got comfortable talking about sexual things with him. You knew that there were guys who thought it was gross that women bled for a week or so. Hoseok had never made those kinds of comments, but still. You were a work in progress.

“We’ve already been in here, why are you dragging me like Jason Voorhees is running after us with a knife?” He whines when you enter the store. You’re not surprised he’s confused because he’s right, you had come in here earlier and picked up what you needed. Still, though, he follows close by.

“I thought we didn’t need anything else.” Comes from him next, his lip pouting and you get the sense that he wanted to spend more time in the game store. A rush of guilt and shame washes over you, causing you to grip his hand even tighter as you shuffle awkwardly in place for a moment.

Finally in the store though, you realise just how silly you’re being with him. It’s not like he’s going to get outraged or upset. And you’re sure he’d have been much more willing to come along if he hadn’t been dragged along half the street with no idea what was happening.

Leaning into him, you cough slightly before swallowing as you feel yourself go hot with anxiety.

“My period started.” You whisper, keeping the words quiet enough so that he can hear them without having anyone else overhear. Though the rational part of your mind knew that you shouldn’t give a flying fuck what anyone else thought. It was a natural, bodily function and all that.

Your mind has never quite done things rationally though.

Hoseok has heard you though, you can tell by the way his head tilts to the side ever so slightly. But his expression is blank for a moment before his brow creases in obvious confusion, lips pursing as he contemplates what you’ve just told him.

“Okay...so why are we here?” Annnnd there it is. That famed male obliviousness to female problems. You couldn’t get annoyed at him though, not when he was good with you on everything else. He was cute.

“It’s early? And I have nothing to use. So I need to buy some.” His face changes immediately when he understands finally, mouth curving into an ‘o’ shape as he lets out a noise of recognition. It then contorts into worry for you, his eyes glancing down to your crotch area with wide eyes.

“Wait, so that means you’re...just…” He creates a rushing gesture with his hands, imitating a waterfall as he makes a ‘whoosh’ noise with his mouth. It’s a little too loud for your liking and you hiss at him, poking at his stomach before quickly pulling him over to the menstrual health aisle.

“I’ve used some toilet paper but it probably won’t last. It’s come on pretty hard and fast today. Please don’t laugh.” You beg him and his face sobers immediately, eyes darting over your own as he takes in your distressed appearance. Licking at his lips, he inhales deeply before nodding.

“Okay, you use tampons, right? So like...which ones? You never keep the box.” Automatically he starts to look over all the boxes of tampons; staring at the brands, types and absorption levels like he’s reading signs in Mandarin or something. It makes you want to laugh, despite the situation.

You appreciate his eagerness to help though, even when he points at random boxes with absolutely zero knowledge of what it was.

“What’s the difference in the brands? Is there a difference? Or is it like...when you buy those store brand biscuits and realise they taste the same as the branded biscuits only to find out that they’re made in the same factory and just relabelled?” That makes you snort with amusement, particularly as he’s now holding up a box of Tampax and a store brand to try and see the difference.

He’s not finished yet though, and even though you still feel the urgency to just grab some and run, you can’t help but let him entertain you. Because that’s what he’s doing. You’re not oblivious, you’ve realised over time that if you’re feeling anxious or uncomfortable or shy, Hoseok will often use humour to distract you away from your negativity.

It’s nice, which is why you let him carry on for a minute or so more.

“What are the drops for? And what’s the difference between regular and super? I mean, I think you’re pretty super but is this like...super big or something? Wait, is this plastic?! How does it absorb blood if it’s plastic?” Rolling your eyes at him, you bite your lip to stop the laughter that wants to escape before reaching past him to grab the box you usually buy.

Lifting it, you decide for a quick crash course in tampons. As your boyfriend, you never know when you might need him to run out to the store for some and the last thing you need is him bringing the entirely wrong type back.

“I use Tampax, purely cos it’s just the brand I’ve always used and I’m familiar with it. Super and regular are like the absorption so you’d use a super for the first few days when a period is heaviest. Hence why I’m getting these. The drops are the absorption rating too basically and it’s not plastic, that’s just the applicator that makes it easier to insert.” You say it all pretty quickly, but quietly enough that only he hears.

Not that there’s any need, the store is loud enough that your conversation can’t be overheard and on top of that, there’s no one in this aisle anyway. But Hoseok nods thoughtfully, scanning the front of the box carefully.

“When we get home, I think I need a crash course in periods because I’m feeling pretty useless and dumb right now.” Laughing, you lean up to kiss his cheek quickly before heading in the direction of the cashiers.

“We can do that for you. It’s better to be educated after all. This is where I find out that you have this bizarre knowledge that is unbelievably wrong and I cringe.” Hoseok doesn’t answer back to that, causing you to look back and chuckle at his meek shrug and wince.

“What can I say? I’ve never had a girlfriend long enough to learn and education in high school was terrible. I’m not even gonna try to defend myself.” Humming lightly, you grin at him as you pay before heading out of the store. Looking in the direction of the toilets, you twist your lips as you consider your options.

“You want to eat at that place, right?” You ask, nodding your head towards the Japanese place that was down the opposite end of the street. Hoseok looks that way and nods, confirming his desire to you. Already you can feel your stomach rumble as you imagine the delicious food.

“Okay, we’ll just go there and I’ll go straight to the restroom in there. Come on.” Reaching you, you take his hand and smile up at him, your walk not so hurried now compared to before. Not that you aren’t completely aware of the fact that you’re free bleeding from your vagina right now, but walking faster might just aggravate it more.

You had what you needed, so now you could relax a little more.

“Why are there so many steps in this? Don’t you get bored?” Hoseok mumbles, his words a little slurred due to the fact you’re rubbing serum into his cheeks. He’s already been here for ages in the bathroom as you’d used a cleanser to clean his face before exfoliating and then using toner on some cotton pads.

You could tell that he was amused by the whole situation, even though he’d seen you do this many times before. But it was different experiencing it for himself you supposed. Still, he looked so adorable and you cooed to him, squishing his cheeks even more in amusement.

“No. It’s relaxing. You’re supposed to relax.” That makes him scowl, the expression not nearly as intense as he was going for given you’ve got his lips in the cutest pout. Still, you’re finished with that part so you let him go, laughing as he runs his fingers over his skin.

“I’m not relaxed. More...manhandled.” Scoffing, you roll your eyes as you get to work rubbing the serum you need into your skin, focusing on your eyes. The dark circles beneath them were far too...well dark for your liking.

“Okay, how’s your skin lately? Dry? Oily?” Frowning at you, he twists his lips as he considers your question. He’s been taking better care of his skin than he had been before dating you, but you knew that he still didn’t care that much. Surprisingly though, he has an answer for you.

“Dry?” Nodding to yourself, you reach through your box of face masks and pull out a moisturising one. Handing it over to him, you take your own and rip it open, pulling out the mask and carefully putting it on. Hoseok watches you intently before opening up his mask, his face immediately twisting into a cringe.

“Ewwww, oh my god. Why is it so slimy?!” He whines, holding it over the sink like it’s some monster that might kill him. With the mask on your face, you can’t laugh properly like you want to.

“Stop being a baby and put it on.” With a little more whining, he does so, lining it up and putting it onto his face. What follows is then complaints that it’s also cold and feels weird, causing you to roll your eyes at him once more as you help to smooth out any creases in it.

“Right, we’ve got to keep this on for twenty minutes so let’s go watch some Netflix,” Looking over him, you take in how he still manages to look handsome even with a white sheet mask on. “It’s not fair that you always look so good. Honestly.”

Hoseok just shrugs before licking his lips, his reaction immediate as he registers the foul taste. “Oh fuck me, what the fuck. This tastes fucking vile!”

“...you’re not meant to eat it, babe, they don’t make it for the taste.” He washes his hands in the sink to get rid of the remaining residue before following you out to the couch in the living room, Netflix still paused on the large television screen. Kasumi is curled up on her cat tree, fluffy body small as she sleeps quietly.

For around ten minutes, neither of you speak as you continue to watch Warrior Nun. It’s surprisingly got both your attention hooked, so you’re a little surprised when Hoseok suddenly speaks up and distracts you.

“Hey...I know this is a weird time to talk about this but after your whole period thing today it reminded me. So, I’ve been thinking lately. You definitely don’t want kids...right?” He looks at you and you get the impression he would raise his brow if he could. When you nod in response, he blows out a breath slowly.

“Okay...how would you feel if I said I wanted to get a vasectomy? I mean, I know you’ve said you don’t want kids but there’s always a chance that you might and a vasectomy is pretty final. Despite what people say.” Now it’s your for your expression to be mostly hidden by your face mask, your eyes widening until your eyelashes are uncomfortably touching the edges of the holes.

“You want that? I thought guys normally got all weirded out at that prospect. And I don’t want kids, ever. Full stop. Are you sure?” Of all the things you were going to be discussing tonight, you did not expect it to be this. It’s almost amusing that Hoseok has decided right now is the time for something so serious, when you both look so silly.

“I do. I just...I don’t want to risk a pregnancy and I know you’re scared of that too. Also, it’d put less stress on you, I know most birth control is usually aimed at women except for condoms and it’s a lot easier for me to get a vasectomy than for you to get anything done.” That makes you snort in acknowledgement, shifting on the couch until you pull your leg up and wrap your arms around it.

“Yeah, because god forbid a woman not want to fulfil her natural duty and pop out a kid, right?”

“I’ve been looking into it, I’m pretty sure I could get one. If not, I’ll just talk the doctor’s ear off until they let me. Because it’s gonna happen. It’s way easier and less stressful than anything you have to do.” His dual concern for not wanting to cause an accidental pregnancy that neither of you wanted along with not wanting the burden to fall too heavily on you warms you, causing you to reach out and grasp his hand tightly as you squeeze at it.

“Is it easy? Or quick?”

“Apparently. Some guys say it doesn’t hurt at all, others said it hurts. But...I’m pretty sure I want it. I just wanted to check with you that you’d be okay with the idea too. As I said, it’s final.” Hoseok smiles at you as best he can, causing you to shuffle a little closer to him. You’d like to rest your head against his shoulder but you’d just get it covered in face mask gunk.

“I mean, it’s your body. It doesn’t have anything to do with me.” Pointing this out to him, you look up and tilt your head, your statement almost a question.

It makes him sigh and focus on your hands, shifting them until he could interlink his fingers with your own. You let him do so, figuring he should probably be taking the lead in this conversation. It is about him after all.

“We’re in a relationship. A serious relationship and this decision would affect both of us. It’s cutting off the chance for biological kids, despite people saying you might be able to reverse it. I feel you should have a say too.” Nodding slowly, you hum lightly as you consider his words carefully.

“Well, if you want it then I’ll support you completely. I never want children so you don’t have to worry about that. It’s your decision, but I just want to make sure you think it over properly and do research, okay? Don’t go rushing into it.” That makes him snort in amusement.

“Meeps, if there’s one thing you should know by now; it’s that men do not take decisions regarding their dick and balls lightly. You can be damn sure I’m going to be 100% in my decision if I’m going to let someone come near my balls with a scalpel or somet.” The way he says this is so matter of fact that you can’t help but laugh, the sound not as big or bright as you’d like it to be given you still had your mask on.

“Man, I can’t believe I’m talking about someone knifing my balls while I’m sitting here looking like a dollar store Michael Myers.” Hoseok points at himself, his bemusement clearly obvious despite his poor Halloween costume and you giggle softly.

Reaching out, you run your fingers through his hair that’s currently being held back by a bandana and smile at him softly. “Come on, let’s go get these off and start looking human again.”

Hoseok follows you immediately, already peeling the face mask off and making casual comments about how the mask isn’t as slimy as it had once been. You take off your own and drop it into the small bin in the bathroom, making sure that he does the same.

“Okay, rub it in and pat it dry. Make sure you get the excess to go on your throat and stuff, it’s good for your skin there too.” Hoseok looks in the mirror, his face shining obscenely from the residue leftover and grimaces.

“Ew, this feels...gross,” One hand presses to his skin, rubbing it in and cringing. “Is this what it feels like when I cum on your face?”

The comment is so random that you pause for a moment, all thoughts disappearing as you comprehend what he’s just said. A glance at him makes you realise he’s being completely serious, his expression focused on rubbing his face as you’d told him. It’s moments like this that make you love him even more, the blasé comments he makes that are so funny and yet also x-rated.

“No...not really. That’s more...well it’s not all over, you know? And it’s thicker than this. And I don’t know why I’m explaining this to you. You know what your cum feels like.” A snort from him gives away his bemusement.

“Yeah, but I’ve never smeared it all over my face before.”

“Maybe you should. Experience it for yourself for once. It’s not all that good for you by the way, despite what people say. It has protein but it’s not enough to make it worthwhile or anything, so don’t think I’m going to be asking you for your special facials anytime soon.” Looking away from him, you grab the next item on your routine before looking at him with a smirk.

“Damn, there goes my plan to be self-sufficient. Could’ve made a whole organic spa thing out of it.”

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heuristicallyinclined · 4 years

Text

SPF Five Million or Whatever

Summary: Mspa Reader figures they need some sunlight and recruits a few friends to help them get it.

Rating: T for language

Notes: I haven't written any of the jades before and I really love them and tried my best to capture their dynamic. I really love imagining Mspa Reader's adventures between Friendsim and Pesterquest. I feel like the games were really just scratching the surface of their shenanigans.

(AO3)

You are pretty sure that people need about twenty minutes of sunlight a day to stay healthy.

Or at least that is what you think it is. You never really thought about it too much to be honest. Having spent a decent amount of time outside walking, you figured you were getting your daily dose in without much effort, and maybe you just didn’t realize how good you had it, not living on a planet that even passively was trying to kill you. Because right now, you know for a fact you’re getting the ideal amount of sunlight on Alternia, which in your personal experience is fucking ziltch.

You tried it once and learned pretty fast that what might leave you with a healthy glow on Earth, would leave you well done on Alternia, a disgusting state for any piece of meat to be in, let alone your body. So that was clearly an Earth exclusive recommendation.

Still, you think some sunlight would do you good.

Especially since you were starting to feel this constant exhaustion after a few months on Alternia. After ruling out your questionable diet and semi existent sleep schedule, you were left with the fact that you were likely getting a vitamin D deficiency.

Frankly, you have not survived your various trials and many tribulations here on Alternia to let rickets be what finally kills you. Absolutely not. No. You’re too proud to die in the lamest way possible on a planet with significantly more respectable and less preventable ways of dying.

This does mean you’ll have to face off with the Alternian sun, which really isn’t that much better on the lame death scale. Last time you got caught out during daylight, you got really lucky. You aren’t counting on a second time where a gorgeous cowgirl, alien Lassie, and a lot of dumb luck would happen to rescue you from your own poor life choices.

So this time, you were going to try to be smart about doing something this monumentally stupid. You were going to get water, a floppy hat, and some ice packs. Now you just had to not do this alone, especially when you knew someone who touted the merits of the buddy system.

Luckily, you also know a few people who could withstand the sun’s rays.

Finding out that jadeblood sun resistance was in fact a real thing and not just the latest in fucking with the local alien made this a whole lot easier and left you with a few options to consider. You figured Wanshi was too young to be kept up that late and that you’d rather not traumatize her if this went sideways. Bronya mentioned being busy with a new brood hatching and managing the herd of lusii they attracted to the caverns so that was a no go. Lanque would likely be otherwise occupied or at least claim to be and you’d rather him not see you like this if you could help it. That left you with Daraya, who you knew would be up and likely be down for some alien shenanigans. But most importantly, Lynera.

One massive check in her favor is she already had experience inconspicuously carrying your injured body through the caverns unnoticed by literally anyone else to a secondary location So discretion was clearly already a strong suit of hers. The context for how she even got that much experience in the first place is none of your business, especially now that you’re friends. And you’d say you two were actually pretty close after all the time you’ve spent hanging out with her in the caverns and going out on little cafe trips.

Really, she was the ideal candidate for this by every observable metric. Well, almost.

While she is loyal enough that you knew that she would help you hide a body if asked, she has also threatened enough people for perceived slights against you that she would very likely be the reason there was a corpse hanging around in the first place. So having Daraya be there too was probably a safe move.

Oh it’s all coming together now.

You were feeling really good about this. Your confidence in yourself, your friends, and your planning abilities carried you through two difficult conversations. One with a veneer of apathy trying to conceal some very real concern, the other incredibly loud and extremely worried, but you got through them and that’s what matters.

So here you are at the brooding caverns, tucked away inside the turn just before the mouth, clad in some cool guy shades from Cirava, a sun hat from Charun, some shorts from Remele, and a Xoloto brand tank top complete with strategic ripping that makes it basically impossible to wear anywhere in public without a layer underneath.

Your friends are right here with you. Lynera is alternating between pacing and fretting over the placement of your sun hat for the seventh time to really make sure your hair doesn’t ignite. You know it won’t and you told her it won’t, but you let her fuss. She just needs to do something with her hands to stay calm. You can at least let her have that with what you’re about to do. Daraya checks her palm husk again for the time as dawn steadily approaches. You take a deep breath in, psyching yourself up.

So you never actually figured out what the Alternian sun equivalent to twenty minutes of Earth sun is. But you think a minute should be enough to do it and not pass out. It feels about right. You have based this off of no math whatsoever, but you’ve done worse with less prep, so you’re not going to let some nerd shit stop you. Especially not now, when you hear Daraya sigh. You know that it’s show time.

You look at her to confirm as she pockets her device and you see some light begin to stretch into the cavern’s entrance. She looks at it too, frowning as it approaches.

“▲▲ try not to fry your pan ▼▼"

You give her a reassuring smile and run up through the mouth of the cave, and stop just past the entrance, arms up wide and outstretched, like you were doing the YMCA dance and lost rhythm just past the first letter, ready to receive that sunlight you so desperately craved. The sun hits your skin and there is a comfort in feeling’s its warmth after living in eternal night.

You really missed this.

...

Actually, you know what? No you don’t. Fuck this.

That “gentle warmth” quickly became a scorching blaze and to your credit, you made it a solid ten seconds under the full wrath of that relentless bitch they called a sun before you decided to quit while you were ahead and conscious. You dash back towards the entrance, uncomfortably aware of every step you take. Lynera stops nervously pacing and stiffens when you reenter the shade and runs towards you. Daraya is ready and quickly hands you a water bottle. You struggle to open the cap because of the condensation making the bottle slick and it exacerbates the painful tingle you’re feeling all over your hands. And your face. And your everything actually.

You continue struggling until you finally succeed in twisting the cap off, but your victory immediately proves to be a hollow one, as your tight grip on the bottle has water going everywhere.

God. Damn. It.

You’re vaguely cognisant of a screeching sound somewhere behind you, but you have more important concerns right now. By some absolute miracle, a decent amount of the water seems to have gotten on you and saturated your top, soothing the skin under it. You feel less like you’re on fire and more like you had marinated your entire body in icy-hot for a few hours before getting deep fried.

You’d like to believe that that is a much more manageable situation. Your skin can’t tell much of a difference though so you waste no time and pour the rest out all over your face like you were a champ who just scored the winning goal instead of a dipshit speedrunning skin cancer.

Daraya mercifully cracks a cold one with the boys and pours the contents of another water bottle on you like you were a plant she forgot to water. The cool sensation on your skin causes you to sigh in a relief that doesn’t last long, before you lose contact with the ground. Lynera has you thrown over her shoulder and starts quickly making her way back into the caverns to her respiteblock. The physical contact takes that previous painful tingle and absolutely fucking floors it, bringing you to a familiar world of pain that your ass was very content not revisiting. Daraya keeps pace behind the two of you with her arms crossed the face of someone who is totally not panicked.

You try to calm them, telling them you feel better already. Really, you mean it.

This just causes Lynera to speed up and Daraya to grimace down at you instead of giving you an actual response.

While, yes, you resent having flesh, you actually feel really awake right now.

Daraya narrows her eyes. “▲▲ you mean from the pain? ▼▼”

No. No. That's different. And way more familiar.

God. Despite looking like a freshly hatched octogenarian, Lynera can really book it.

She carries your limp, increasingly dizzy body with ease. You knew she was deceptively strong and fast first hand, based off of her being able to immediately able to knock you the fuck out and lug you back to her combination study block murder dungeon. Honestly, being able to do anything with an alien discreetly deserves commendation. Commendation up and out the wazoo.

You’re about to attempt to try to verbalize that thought, but just before the turn to get to Lynera's study block, she suddenly stops. She nervously glances between this hallway and another adjacent one one. Daraya almost bumps into her but stops herself just in time.

"▲▲▲ what are you doing? We said we were just going to put them in a spare recuperacoon ▼▼▼" Daraya whisper yells.

"They're a new color Daraya !!!" Lynera whisper yells to the point of negating the whisper part of the whisper yell and more just using a normal speaking volume with a hiss. “-they need !!! A medicull kit !!!”

Oh. You glance down at one of your dangling arms. That happened fast. In retrospect, you should have mentioned that was a thing that would potentially happen. How did you forget that?

“▲▲▲ and do what? A medicull kit could make them worse. We don’t know shit about aliens ▼▼▼”

“-!!! well how would you know all of their injuries were taken care of! that we didnt miss anything!”

“▲ they’re fine. We just, I don't fucking know? Rotate them in the slime? ▼”

“-like some sort of !!! rotisserie cluckbeast !!!” Lynera indignantly whisper shrieks.

"▲▲ No!▼▼" Daraya quickly defends. The way her eyes quickly glance to the side seems to imply that's kind of exactly what it's like.

Just like them rotisserie chickens.

The longer their arguing went on, the more uncomfortably aware you were getting about the fact that you had a body and Lynera's clothes felt like steel wool grating against your poor skin. That and describing what they were doing as “whisper arguing” was becoming more and more of a stretch as it went on and started to get louder. You were worried you were going to attract unwanted attention.

It is as soon as you have that thought, that a door opens, and you see an irritated Lanque groggily peek his head through to find the source of the commotion.

His face remains still at first, blinking tiredly as he takes in the fuckery and only opens the door wider when the other two turn at the sound of his door opening and he registers you slumped over Lynera’s shoulder with a single raised brow.

You smile and wave at him, despite how lightheaded her turn had you feeling, and Daraya quickly pulls your hand down and stands in front of you like there was nothing to see here. You let out a weak, “ow,” as she did, your flesh protesting at the touch. She glances back at you quickly, before exasperatedly turning to look back at Lanque with her arms crossed.

“▲▲ what? ▼▼”

He measuredly looks at the scene before him. Really taking in all of the bullshit before side eyeing Lynera.

“You threW the alien into broad daylight? EVen for you, that's crazy.” He almost sounds surprised, before smiling sweetly, “NoW Who’s going to tolerate you?”

Lynera sputters something, clearly offended, but Daraya cuts her off with a groan,

“▲ they literally need sunlight to live Lanque ▼”

His face twists. “Are they a fucking plant?”

“-no!!!" Lynera considers for a moment before yelling again just as loud. “-most likely not!!!”

He looks from your trio, to the small puddle of water forming under you, and glances back to the trail of water you apparently had dripping from you this whole time.

You know, you’re really starting to see the plant angle here.

“▲▲ look they just needed some stupid sunlight and we hung around to make sure they didn’t just get too cooked or whatever. What, are you going to tell Bronya on us? ▼▼" Daraya half mocks, half asks.

“No, of course not.” Lanque almost seems offended. “I don’t see any reason to inVolVe myself With you tWo Watching the alien give themselVes sun sickness.”

You ask no one in particular what sun sickness is.

“-can aliens get sun sickness???” Lynera asks with a newfound panic.

Lanque irritatedly replies, “HoW Would I knoW?”

You feel briefly dejected that no one answered. Until another thought crosses your mind. It wasn’t related to anything occurring at the moment, but it was weird enough that you don’t know how this was the first time you had ever really thought about it. Maybe the events of this morning were what it took for you to even be able consider this quandary.

Why do they say troll before a name? Like troll Will Smith? Doesn’t that imply there is another kind of WIll Smith? Like if they’re all trolls, why say troll? Oh shit, is that why they do it? Did you tell them about human Will Smith or would that be like human Whillh Smithh? Human Willhh Smyyth?

You rack your mind for other ways of making Will Smith a valid troll name, concentration evident on your face.

Lanque looks at you like you’re an idiot. “What the fuck are you talking about? You're just repeating the same name.”

The spelling? You narrow your eyes as you consider the spelling. It is the clearest thing in the world right now to you. It’s spelled different Lanque.

“I can’t hear how it’s spelled.”

Daraya’s eyes widen. "▲▲ They fried their fucking pan ▼▼ "

You still don’t know what sun sickness is, but you strongly suspect you may have it, especially since most of what happened afterwards was kind of a blur.

What you think you can remember is the sound of someone coming. Quick, determined footsteps that you couldn’t recognize, but Lynera clearly could as she stiffened first. She maybe said something about Bronya doing a curfew round? You think? Either way, it had everyone else on immediate edge and was enough for Lanque to decide this wasn’t worth staying awake for. He made a final comment and you heard a door shut, leaving your trio behind.

Daraya and Lynera exchanged words, finally remembering the “whisper” part of whisper yelling. They came to an agreement of some sort with Lynera nodding and heading to her studyblock and Daraya going off in the direction of what was probably Bronya.

Mentally, you are pressing F to pay your respects. Physically though, you register your orientation rapidly shifting. While you weren’t crazy about your position over Lynera's shoulder, what with her sweater vest grating against your torso and all, it turns out you enjoyed being moved out of it even less. The blood running away from your head had you feeling woozy in a whole new way.

To her credit, Lynera did not just immediately dunk you into the recuperacoon a la Space Jam like you’re sure she wanted to. She instead carefully lets you sink into it with a gentleness that starkly contrasted her worry. Normally, you would say that being put into a vat of slime is not an experience you would be looking forward to. Right now though, you’re loving it. It is an absolute godsend as it acts a cool balm against your skin.

Lynera continues and gingerly removes your shades and places them on an end table next to your sunhat. You were about to thank her and let her know she was in fact “a real one,” but you got cut off by her grabbing a handful of slime and smearing it on your face.

You sputter and instinctively try to move away, but you’re no match for her. She’s dealt with fussy grubs with sharp teeth for way too long to actually be deterred by your feeble efforts to resist. You don’t know how you’d rate the experience between, “children haphazardly covering you in slick grease paint” to “alien clay mask ensuring you don’t have enough skin to even entertain having clogged pores,” but you aren’t in a position to be opposed to it. It actually feels kinda nice when it’s in a smooth, even layer and not a huge fucking dollop on your face.

When she’s done, she wipes her hands while saying something to you. You don’t really register it, so you just kinda smile and nod. It’s your usual go to when you aren’t quite sure what is happening around you and it hasn’t led you too astray in the very many times you’ve done it. You’ll just ask her what she said in the evening.

Lynera seems pleased and starts moving to turn off the lights. Before she does, you thank her. She smiles at you, the corners of her eyes crinkling, and glances back at you as she goes, leaving you feeling warm inside and out for two extremely different reasons.

You settle down, trying to get cozy. You're not going to pretend you know much about sopor slime. You assumed it comes from a plant and haven't tried to confirm that little theory of yours because you need to believe that for your own sake. It's plant goo. From some kind of alien aloe vera or something. An extremely fleshy plant just ripe with goo for the taking. If you ever learn otherwise, no you didn't.

After you wake up and wipe off the slime, you find that you’ve healed surprisingly quickly. You’re still very tender to the touch, you find that out real fast, but your skin looks a lot less irritated than when you last saw it. This bit of good news and vitamin d that you assume you now have coursing through your veins that hopefully was not mostly used up on healing your skin, puts a little pep in your step as you get ready for the night. Before you exit the caverns, you feel a pang of hunger.

You can practically hear Bronya reminding you how breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so you walk into the meal block, figuring that no one would mind too much if you grabbed a breakfast bar or two before you left. Maybe you’ll even get lucky and find the ones that kind of taste like peanut butter and are crunchy for reasons you’d rather not identify. You aren’t alone when you enter. Lanque is there, sitting at a table. He looks up from his palm husk and eyes you.

“Did you change color?”

Yeah. Humans being exposed to sunlight makes them create a protective pigment so they're more able to be exposed to the sun.

“I’m fascinated.” he says, anything but. “So you're going to turn jade?”

No, more of a slightly darker version of what you are now.

He hums, now totally disinterested and looking back down at his chittr feed. Guess the limits of your rainbowdrinker like attributes have worn off on him.

Anyways, this just means that this will be easier next time you go out during the day.

That statement gives him pause. Lanque looks up from his palm husk, looking out before glancing at you dubiously.

"Next time?"

#hiveswap #hiveswap friendsim #Lynera Skalbi #Daraya Jonjet #Lanque Bombyx #Mspa Reader #This is just me having fun and getting real stupid enjoy #Can you tell I love Lynera?

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lesbiancarat · 3 years

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PREACH IT!! SAY IT LOUDER FOR TH3 PEOPLE IN THE BACK!! *stands up and claps*

Just your comment, please I want to tattoo that entire response on my forehead so people could understand some stuff fjshdhsh. I very much agree with everything you have said, like I do think the bighit deal was more so with the help of say with western connections (which again does NOT mean pledis could have done this without bighit. They clearly could but I saw a theory on a YouTube comment where someone said they focused on the core fanbase aka in Korea which is their main market and it paid off imo) from helping with buisness side of things like we do have merch to buy directly (which I have my opinion on some merch ideas like why the fudge is bighit selling us water!? Bro you thought that worked with bts doesn't mean it will with seventeen) which wasn't common in the past or being able to film concerts with ease during the pandemic. Bighit clearly acknowledges that seventeen is a monster group in their own right I mean as you said, they break records and are 2nd behind bighits own group. They are EXTEMELY big in Japan. They are their own song makers, bang pd confirmed this when pleids was first announced in a press video so the fact people brush all of their achievements and statements because why, their streaming numbers are low?

And oohh such an interesting point as well! Very much i think the current mindset of kpop fans (or at least some) is that streaming is what equals success which to some degree, yes but as you said, many ignore the casual side of listening. People that find the song due to it being viral for whatever reason, a fancam getting popular like in the cass of hani from exid or whatever reason. Dwc is a great example and I saw those comments under their recent performance of that song and it makes me proud that the boys have a song like that. That it has its own "fanbase" quote on quote with how well loved that song simply is and well known. You don't have to have fans doing crazy streaming to be considered "popular", I mean I could give more examples but I don't wanna make this too long nor cause unwanted fandrama lol. Those casual listeners are extremely important and powerful I mean brave girls is a great recent example of that I think! It very much does seem like that when looking at the views, its mainly the core fanbase which isn't bad nor should we feel bad for not having crazy numbers. They seem more organic if that makes sense? Plus I agree, we can stream and can explain how it works, clearing up confusion about it like no emojis don't take down views and yes youtube does take away views but that is due to it making sure it isn't bots only viewing the video. Explaining that streaming should be done with a chill mindset and its ok if you don't stream. But hey, maybe we're too weird of fans to think like this fjajdjajs.

But some few updates! Seventeen is back on Instagram, fully everyone is posting away. Makes me happy hehe m, a bit funny it took so long for them to comeback but am happy nonetheless. The interactions that seungkwan does makes me super soft. Seventeen are also back with doing proper promotions so yay (also pledis is S Wording people over the mingyu issue finally so bless). As for me on the personal side of things. I have OFFICIALLY finished that video game ^_^ it took me a while but I have finished it, my last goodbye was completed and am at ease so to speak? Lowkey am planning on beating all the trophies in the game cx also may I ask about your thoughts on the album? Favorite songs, have you bought the physical cd?

ok finally getting around to this lol!!

and yeah that's absolutely true, pledis focused on kr promotions/fanbase first and foremost (and then expanded to Japan and is now looking toward the US/western promos in general). which i agree was a good thing. i think some companies get too greedy with wanting a group to be ~internationally famous~ that they ignore their Korean fanbase a bit too much and I've seen groups that have failed bc of it, so I'm glad that didn't happen w SVT

and yeah in terms of merch I'm genuinely grateful as an american that for this cb at least there was a US distributor which made things super convenient but wtf is going on w hybes merch those water bottles are not it TT it just sucks to see bc it's clear that at least as far as merch goes hybe doesn't have an interest in like. doing market research to figure out what carats want. which is funny bc they don't even have to start from scratch they could literally just ask pledis?? and tbh what's sad is i don't think hybe is like. purposefully trying to sabotage SVTs merch from my limited perspective i get the feeling they treat all their groups merch like that :( but since us carats have seen in the past what kind of merch we're capable of getting it's disappointing to see such a downgrade. and like tbf pledis's merch decisions were never perfect like that time they tried to sell replicas of the SVT rings and carats were rightfully pissed bc those are something the members earned, not something to be bought. and i also don't think hybe never has or never will make good merch, I'm sure they're fully capable of it. but it just seems obvious that they've put WAY less if any effort into understanding both the market (ie carats) and seventeens brand compared to pledis so like of course most carats aren't gonna like it :/ i really hope they step up their game and do better research or bring ppl onto the team who better understand svt's brand

and yeah i very much agree with everything u said about streaming! tbh i think this mindset isn't as uncommon as you might think, I've actually met a fair number of kpop fans who are critical of streaming culture but as u know there also are a lot of ppl who are really into it and those ppl tend to have the loudest voices. and unfortunately part of streaming culture is that if you question the methods or don't participate you must be a bad fan or secretly an anti or something ridiculous like that. so ppl who aren't into streaming culture end up learning to not be too vocal about it bc of how bad the backlash can be

yes! I'm glad to see insta line (+ now dk!!) active again. i still wonder why pledis made them stop using their ind instas, like I know all the theories people have as to why but honestly none that I've seen seem to fully make sense. it will probably be one of those things where we'll just never know the full story. but i digress!! regardless of the reason I'm just glad to have them back after all this time ^^

congrats on finishing the game! I'm glad it was able to help you work through your grief a bit and that you feel more at ease now ;-; and good luck with the rest of the trophies if you end up trying to get them!

as always I'm answering this a bit late so you may have seen already but i did get the physical album! it was a birthday gift so i only got it the other day, but according to my mom it arrived almost immediately after the album was released so as i said before, I'm very grateful for the US shop this time around ;-; as for the songs usually it's easy for me to pick one or two favorites but this time around it's genuinely a 4-way tie between heavens cloud and all the unit songs TT (i also love anyone and RTL, they're just slightly lower on the list in terms of preference if u get what i mean). i really hope some time in the future we get some kind of performance or special video or something for heavens cloud, since so many carats and the members themselves seem to really love it. i also think it's a song that brings up such beautiful imagery that it would be a shame if it never got any type of visual representation, you know? I'm also really curious to see a performance of wave, since iirc the members said the choreo is a lot more laid back/different from other perf unit choreos?? + that song also evokes such great imagery for me that like... makes feel like it needs some kind of movement so I'm just itching to see a performance. kind of like... even if i didn't know it was a perf unit song i would think it would be great to choreograph to if that makes any sense dhfkf. but yeah overall i think it's just a really solid album, as expected from summerteen ^^

#melia.ask #📖 anon #long post

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handeaux · 4 years

Text

Green Beer Came Later: Cincinnati’s Original, Old-Time, Irish Saloons

So ubiquitous are the photographs of mustachioed men, feet up on the brass rail, plug hats screwed firmly upon their noggins, that you might be forgiven if you concluded that all Queen City saloons were identical. This is not the case.

For evidence, let us turn to a meeting of the General Protective Association of Saloon-Keepers convened on Tuesday, 24 April 1883, to discuss a new state law taxing dispensaries of alcoholic potations. Although the meeting convened at a German hall, the president, J.J. Abbihl, introduced the agenda in English. According to the next day’s Commercial Tribune:

“As Mr. Abbihl spoke in the English language, Mr. Albert Springer made a motion that the German language be used in the discussion, but it was agreed to make the explanations in English on account of the importance of the meeting.”

Although the German beer garden holds a sacred place in the gilded memories of Cincinnati, a fair number of local pubs were helmed by Irish and American barkeeps. Any discussion of group meetings involving saloon keepers is clear to distinguish between “German saloon keepers” and “American and Irish saloon keepers.” (Of course, in their segregated neighborhoods, there were also Black saloon-keepers, but they were not allowed to join the protective associations.)

In general, the Irish saloons hewed closer to the river, and you can see this among the watering holes listed in the city directories. You find O’Brien’s at Third & Ludlow, O’Herron’s at Plum & Ann, McCoy’s on Front Street, McSweeney’s at the southern end of John and Connor’s way down on Central.

While the Germans colonized Over-the-Rhine, that was not always the case. The WPA Guide to Cincinnati relates that O’Bryonville, with its Irish namesake but early nickname as “Dutchtown,” accommodated Germans and Irish in (not always happy) comity:

“Thenceforth the name Dutchtown also was applied to the community, and many arguments were started over the bars between Irish and German customers who were constantly striving for social supremacy in the little community.”

This distinction was underlined in 1877 when saloon-keepers throughout the city gathered to pressure Cincinnati’s brewers into maintaining standard prices. Throughout Cincinnati, you paid 5 cents for a tall glass of beer, except in a few disreputable dives where suds were dispensed at two glasses for a nickel. The saloon-keepers realized that there was only one way the dives could afford two beers at that price – some brewery was selling stock at a discount. In those confrontations, the German saloonists met at one location and the Irish and American barkeeps met at another. Although they endorsed the viewpoint of the German proprietors, the Irish and Americans elected their own delegation to confront the brewers.

It is clear, from newspaper coverage that the menus differed between German saloons and American and Irish saloons. William C. Smith, in his wonderful little book, “Queen City Yesterdays: Sketches of Cincinnati In The Eighties,” makes a distinction between the beer-centered German establishments and the Irish and America saloons that purveyed mostly the harder stuff. Smith avers there ought to be a strict differentiation between beer saloons and what he calls “boozing kens.” His description offers a physiological excuse for Irish and American drinking patterns:

“On a shelf next to the wall various brands of liquor were in evidence, some labeled and others in plain bottles, the quality of the latter known only to God and the proprietor. These emporiums were patronized by the Irish and American inhabitants who believed their stomachs to be lined with a substance that beer might corrode, whereas whiskey apparently acted only as a preservative and polishing agent.”

That distinction is fortified by a joke that, according to the Cincinnati Enquirer [23 September 1917], was so old it caused Cain to slay Abel:

“An Irish saloon keeper hired a new bartender. A man came in and got a drink of whisky and then said: ‘I’ll pay for this Saturday. My name is Murphy. The boss knows me.’

“’Wait and I’ll ask the boss,’ said the bartender. ‘Oh. boss,’ yelled the bartender up the stairs. ‘Is Murphy good for a drink?’

“’Has he had it?’ asked the boss.

“’He has,’ replied the bartender.

“’He is,’ replied the boss.”

It is not the case that all Irish and American saloons sold whiskey exclusively. Perhaps the premier Irish saloon in Cincinnati was Andy Gilligan’s Café on Vine Street directly opposite the Enquirer building between Sixth and Seventh streets. For nearly thirty years, Gilligan was famous for his luxurious beard, extending from his chin to his belt buckle. On warm days he was a living Vine Street landmark, basking in the afternoon sun as he stood outside his café enjoying a good 15-cent cigar. Gilligan ran book on local prizefights, but the cops usually looked the other way. He was known as an easy touch for actors down on their luck and a frequent host to heavy-weight champ (and prodigious drinker) John L. Sullivan. Despite his largesse, Gilligan left an estate worth a respectable $75,000 in 1905 dollars. Decades after his death, the Cincinnati Post printed a remembrance:

“Do you remember when no St. Patrick’s Day was complete without a peek at Colonel Andy Gilligan and his long whiskers resting on a great green sash in the Hibernians’ annual March 17 parade?”

During World War I, as Prohibition loomed, evidence accumulated that all of Cincinnati’s saloon-keepers were in the same, sinking, boat. As anti-German hysteria swept the city, nationalist firebrands were quick to point out Irish saloons catering to a German clientele. According to the Cincinnati Post [14 September 1917]:

“James J. Dolan runs a saloon at Richmond-st. and Central-av., which he calls ‘Zum Guten Happen.’ Now that German has nearly been put out of the schools, somebody, no doubt, will start a movement to put it out of Irish saloons.”

A similar situation obtained at an Oakley saloon managed by Patrick J. McHugh, called “Auf Wiedersehen.”

No discussion of Irish saloons can conclude without a mention of green beer. Now, before 1917, “green beer” meant improperly aged suds. A 1908 Wiedemann advertisement advised against drinking green beer because “it has practically no flavor and will cause biliousness.”

As for the annual emerald-hued St. Patrick’s Day quaff, blame the Elks. In 1917, in honor of the patron saint of Ireland, Cincinnati’s Elks lodges consumed green beer in abundant quantities. According to the Cincinnati Post, the verdant libation was concocted by a German brewer.

#cincinnati irish #irish saloons #andy gilligan #cincinnati saloons

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rosethornewrites · 3 years

Text

Wednesday’s T and G reading

I’ve reached page 1 of my to-read list on AO3. Once I’m done with this page, I’ll be going back to page 58 to repeat the backward-reading process, this time with all fics under 5k words. So future lists may be smaller.

Finished:

Tumblr:

LQR redemption for the creepy!JFM prompt, by @angstymdzsthoughts

Teen:

bunnies, by wearing_tearing

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, the papers will still be here in a few hours,” Wei Ying says and brushes a soft kiss to the hinge of Lan Wangji’s jaw. “Come spend time with your husband, Lan Er-gege. I miss you.”

Lan Wangji rarely finds within himself the strength to deny Wei Ying.

recovery, by wearing_tearing (third in a series)

The brand on Lan Wangji’s chest does not hurt anymore.

wherever the chaos is, by wearing_tearing (fourth in a series)

“But, Teacher Wei—”

“I believe in you! If you really need my help, I’ll come down from the tree, I promise.”

Lan Wangji does not regret his decision to let Wei Ying teach classes in the Cloud Recesses.

emperor’s smile, by wearing_tearing (fifth in a series)

“What are the conditions?” he asks, going back to the point. If he does not know the conditions, he will miss Wei Ying’s kisses.

That’s unacceptable.

Lan Wangji knows he does not have to, but he does not stop himself from grabbing a cup, filling it to the brim with Emperor’s Smile, and gulping it all down.

My Brother's Keeper - Vinegar, by ArchiveWriter (second in a series)

Jiang Cheng is angry and not quite sure what to do with it, so he as usual directs it at Wei Ying (for being stupid and crazy) and Lan Wangji (for being a stuck-up arrogant self-important snooty... well, the list is long, but mainly for being possessive of Wei Ying. Watching them from afar allows for silent fuming. Not to be taken too seriously - some Jiang Cheng soul-searching bound to result in self-conflict. Image a fly in a glass with no lid and still banging against all the glass walls... This is set post-canon, post 'Love Song', pre 'My Brother's Keeper - Most Treasured' and elaborates on what went on in Jiang Cheng's head when watching WWX and LWJ in the markets with them being oblivious. I had fun cramming as many adjectives as I could think of into this, so it's probably 'purple prose' :-) This might be a bit more light-hearted but I still can't see WWX and Jiang Cheng reconcile.

Though the Good and the Bad, by TheKrystalSakura

Wei Wuxian can’t sleep because intrusive thoughts keep plaguing his mind after all these years. Lan Wangji is there to listen to everything his husband has kept bottled up.

Right of First Approval, by AerinD

You know how "based on a true story"...isn't really? Five hundred years later, Jiang Cheng hates that phrase.

under the starlit sky, by b_ofdale

There have always been people who wanted to hurt him, learn from him, steal from him. . . but Lan Wangji?

Lan Wangji has only ever wanted to love him.

Practical Lessons in the Backhills, by Eliza (third in a series)

The Jiang motto is “Attempt the Impossible” but Wei Wuxian’s personal one is closer to “You don’t know until you try.”

Love Me Over Sunrise Tea, by Eliza (fourth in a series)

On the days they aren't on morning watch, Sizhui makes tea. Jingyi doesn't really like tea.

But for the World to See, by Eliza (fifth in a series)

Lan Wangji can't keep his hands off of Wei Ying.

Every Good Boy’s Dream, by Eliza (sixth in a series)

Temptation has never been a problem for Lan Xichen; he’s been giving in to it for years.

We Blossom in the Water, by Eliza (seventh in a series)

Jiang Yanli basks in the Yunmeng sun, her husband’s love, and a moment of freedom.

A Good Idea at the Time, by Eliza (eighth in a series)

Not every bad decision can be blamed on blood loss, but that doesn’t stop Wei Wuxian from trying.

Grief and Blame, Interwoven, by donutsweeper

Wangji's punishment was supposed to be severe, not fatal.

But since it was, Xichen needed to find a way to change that.

things that go honk in the night, by worldoshaking

Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi investigate a fearsome beast that has been terrorising the villages nearby. No one is quite sure what it looks like, but people live in fear of the sound of its honk and the patter of its webbed feet.

greens, by silverclaw

Wei Ying’s plants have been flourishing ever since Lan Zhan moved into the apartment next door. This causes more misunderstandings than one might expect.

The one I like…is you., by Liebing

The one I like has long dark hair, and a perfect smile, he is truly the handsomest Lan!” Wei Ying announced with his usual levels of endless enthusiasm.

Lan Zhan's shoulders dropped. That description had to be his brother. So Wei Ying liked his brother. He tried to ignore the heavy disappointed feeling as it washed over him. As much as he tried to ignore Wei Ying, he had to admit that the boy was irreversibly etched into his heart but it seemed the feeling wasn’t mutual.

someone i could save, by yuer (vintageblueskies)

Lan Wangji has nightmares of Wei Wuxian falling. It gets worse before it gets better.

Encounter - The Broad River, by ArchiveWriter (second in a series)

A meandering study of Lan Zhan's and Wen Yuan’s bond as Elder / Younger Brother during the years of LWJ’s grieving for WWX.

General:

family, by wearing_tearing (sixth in a series)

The warm bubble of happiness inside of Lan Wangji’s chest expands. The people he loves most in the world—his family—are here, around him, and even the day’s exhaustion could not dampen the joy he feels.

After an exhausting day, Lan Wangji has dinner with his family.

A Letter, Addressed to Sect Leader Jiang of Lotus Pier, by darth_meg

Jiang Cheng,

Please don't throw this away when you see who it’s from. There are many things I want to say, but I know I talk too much, so I think it’s best to write as few words as I can. I’ve rewritten this letter many times, crossing out what isn’t completely necessary. I hope you believe me.

Or, Wei Wuxian writes one letter to his brother.

Remedy, by abbymyg

Lan Wangji has been vomiting and with a fever all night, and Wei Wuxian hadn't slept at all.

Lan Qiren calls the doctor to treat his nephew and enters the Jingshi for the first time in years.

Where you ought to be, by Lucky_Moonly (second in a series)

Lans were Ravenclaws.

Which was why Lan Wangji wasn’t as stressed as the other first years as he awaited his sorting in one corner of the Great Hall.

Talk to Me, by MillenarianHappinessTheorem

Lan Huan hasn't spoken to his brother in three weeks. Maybe Jiang Cheng can give him some much-needed relationship advice.

dog days, by silversshadow (second in a series)

Yu ZiYuan will not allow weakness to hold back the Yunmeng Jiang sect.

Jiang Chengs dogs do not leave the Lotus Pier.

i need someone, by aurora_chiroptera

Jiang Cheng is worried about his brother. He thinks if Wei Wuxian marries someone respected from another sect, that he will be safer.

Wei Wuxian is not so sure.

From the prompt: “No one’s going to hurt you.”

Music Jams..., by Ladycroft4evr (third in a series)

It's a musical day at Cloud Recesses... we open with a WangXian music jam, followed by some family bonding over music for Wei WuXian and Sizhui... let's join Lan WangJi and enjoy a leisurely evening with their little family ❤

blinding, by acoostic

Lan Wangji grew up around snow. His hometown of Gusu was up north in the mountains.

The same can not be said of Wei Wuxian, who grew up in Lotus Pier, where the lakes and rivers kept the climate humid and relatively warm year round.

And you'll still be by my side, by hamlets_ghost (fourth in a series)

Nie Mingjue meets the young Lan Clan heir.

He also gets stuck in a tree.

Where His Heart Resides, by Preludian_Staves

He realizes belatedly two months after his marriage that his heart has finally found itself a new home.

Unfinished:

Rated T:

Another Letter, Addressed to Sect Leader Jiang of Lotus Pier, by darth_meg (second in a series)

Sect Leader Jiang,

I write to inform you of my intention to take Wei Ying as my husband and cultivation partner.

Or, Lan Wangji invites Jiang Cheng to discuss something.

The Red Ribbon, by NoMore_17

What if Mo XuanYu sacrifices his soul out of love instead of revenge?

#the untamed #untamed fanfiction #chen qing ling #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #cql

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ubernoxa · 4 years

Text

The Dare: A Guns N’ Roses Fanficiton

Chapter 36: An Important Minor Detail

Masterlist

Pairing: Duff Mckagan/OC

Story Summary: A stupid harmless dare, that’s all it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be something they would do, and never revisit. For Delilah, little did she know that visiting the strip wasn’t going to be a one time thing when she made the choice to accept the dare. Life is full of choices. Some choices can mean absolutely nothing, while others can change your entire world. Delilah had heard many rumors about the Sunset Strip or Devil’s Strip. Teenagers would whisper stories about how the Devil walks the streets of the strips without a care in the world. It was known as a place untouched by God. After years of hearing rumors about the Devil’s Strip, Delilah wants to see it for herself. Thus a Dare was born.

Chapter Summary: One of the many downsides of going to a large people is that you might know the ones there. Even if you wished you didn’t know them

Taglist: @gingerspicetalks @str4nge-haze @dustnbones @queen-crue

The moment that Duff had finished his show, and he had his arm wrapped around Del’s waist. It might sound corny, but he could take his eyes off of her the entire show. Granted she looked amazing in skin tight pants paired with a shirt that he assumed she borrowed from one of her roommates, but it was her dancing or more of teasing she was doing while he performed.

“Nice headscarf,” Duff whispered in Del’s ear as they followed the rest of the band to the bar.

“Thanks, this Duff guy had it on the floor of his room, so I decided to do the poor thing justice and wear it,” Del giggled at her own comment, and Duff smiled at the giggling girl.She wore it just like he had countless times around her.

When Del first started drinking, he wondered what kind of drunk she would be. Would she be the type to become mute? Would she become a mean drunk? A sad drunk? Quickly to his relief, Del was a giggly drunk who was a heavy flirt. Granted the flirting she did wasn’t the stereotypical flirting seen on the strip because at the end of the day Del is still Del, but Duff liked her weird sense of flirting.

Del quickly positioned herself on Duff’s lap once they were in the overcrowded truck that she had grown rather familiar with. She smiled even wider at the familiar scent of beer mixed with cigarette smoke, it smiled like home.

After a quick stop at the hell house to unload their equipment they were once again on the road.

“Where to?” Izzy asked, causing a small bicker fest between axl and Steven. Del passed a small piece of paper and leaned forward to talk to Izzy who was in the driver’s seat.

“Mags said there would be a party at this address, something about a good way to meet new people and network. Good way to meet new fans,” Del sent Izzy and Axl a warm smile as she talked, trying to mimic what Mags had done countless times to get her way.

“I don’t know Del,” Izzy slowly spoke, eyeing up Axl. Truth be told, Izzy didn't care if they went to the party or not. He recognized the address, and knew it was on the nicer side of town. Nicer side of town meant nicer booze. As Izzy looked at Axl, he expected to see some sort of annoyance in his scowl. It was no secret that Axl hated Mags, it was even less of a secret that Axl had requested for Mags to be kept as far away from the band as possible. Confusion filled Izzy, as he stared at the smile that was planted on Axl’s lips. If any other girl had asked to go to the party, Axl would have immediately said no, but this was Del who was batting her eyelashes and wearing the sweetest little smile. This was Del who had Axl wrapped around her little finger without even knowing.

“You want to go there? Do you want to get drunk Delly?” The brunette nodded earning a small laugh from Axl. Izzy couldn't help but roll his eyes at Axl using the nickname Duff called Del.

“Well, that side of town has the best booze,” Axl shrugged before handing the address back to Izzy.

“How do you guys feel about going on the North side? Apparently, there will be live music and free booze,”’ The cheers that erupted in the car quickly answered Axl’s question, and Izzy headed for the party.

Once Izzy got the truck back on the road, Duff pulled Del back, so she was no longer leaning forward and talking to axl.

“What was that about?” Del giggled as Duff began to pepper kisses into the crook of her neck.

“Hmm, nothing much. I just missed you,” Del giggled at his comment, unknowing of the glare the Duff was sending Axl. For a couple of seconds, Axl stopped smirking at the bassist and turned his attention elsewhere before talking with Izzy about their next gig.

Immaculate. That was the only word that came to mind when they pulled up the address.

“Holy shit, who is this guy?” Steven asked, trying to take in the mansion.

Their rusted truck was horribly out of place as they pulled up to the gate which automatically opened. He couldn't take his eyes off of the large fountain that was in the center of the front lawn. A naken women who was carved out of some sort of stone was holding a water jug. The fountain water was pouring out of the jug and cascaded around the woman’s body. The fountain must have cost more money than he has ever made, or stolen, in his entire life.

“Hey, Steven, there are probably nonrock naked women at the party, but you’re welcome to creepily stare at the rock woman all night. Personally, I would prefer to look at your girlfriend nake than that statue, but to each’s own,” Slash joked, earning a small chuckle from the drummer.

Earlier that evening, Stef had skipped the gig and gone to the party. Of course she was helping by keeping Mags away from the band like they had asked her too, but Stef also wanted some time away from Steven. She wanted some time to think things out.

“Well I am going to go find my girl,”Steven said as he bolted to the backyard like a lost puppy looking for its mom. Del couldn't help, but giggle at the notion. It was sweet of him, and she hoped that Duff would do the same if they were ever seperated.

Del felt Duff heartbeat quicken as they walked into the mansion where the party was in full swing. The place was huge and packed to the brim. She felt like a sardine in one of the tins you would buy at the store.

“Del, have you ever had fireball?” Slash asked, as they all stayed together and headed towards what they only assumed to be the kitchen. Del held onto Duff’s vest the entire way there, too afraid that she would lose him. She would have grabbed his shirt; however, he hadn't worn one which she had absolutely to problem with.

“No, why is it called fireball? Is that the shot you light on fire before taking?” By now they had made their way to the kitchen where they could all once again hear each other.

“No, it's cinnamon flavored,” Axl replied looking through the bottles that were on display. Holy shit, he couldn't remember the last time he had seen this many bottles at a party. He hated to admit it, but Mags always had good connections. To say he was more than curious to see Del’s reaction to the cinnamon liquor was an understatement, no doubt it would be adorable. Before the gig began, him and Slash were talking about which liquors Del had had before. Upon spotting Duff’s favorite brand of vodka, he pulled it from the selection and handed it to the blonde who gratefully accepted it. Axl smiled as he finally found the cinnamon liquor and grabbed some plastic cups that were on the table.

He couldn’t help, but laugh at Del who was currently giving Duff shit for drinking straight from the bottle. Apparently it wasn’t ‘classy’. Axl just shook his head and passed the girl a cup filled with about a shot worth of fireball.

“To getting trashed the classy way,” Axl clinked his plastic cup with Del’s earning a small giggle from the girl because there was clearly nothing classier than doing shots out of a red solo cup.

Del was able to drink about a fourth of the shot before the burn was too much making her cough. Axl once again rolled his eyes as Duff leaped to her side and rubbed her back making sure to not forget to send him a quick glare. As if he was the one who burned her throat. Del began to push Duff off of her, feeling the embarrassment of everyone looking at her.

“I'm fine Duffles,” Del sent the blonde a quick peck on the lips, instantly calming him down.

“Enough of this, I am going to grab a beer. Duff, can you help me find Mags and Stef?” Del added placing the cup down and grabbing one of the cans of beer that were under the table. She wasn’t picky. She was looking for anything that wouldn’t burn her throat.

Axl then swung his arm around Slash’s shoulder and the pair went off to socialize.

It didn't take long for Duff and Del to find Stef who was currently sitting on Steven’s lap. Del smiled at the pair as she walked closer to them.

“Hey! I was wondering if I was going to see you!” Stef cheered, running up and practically tackling Del to the ground. Duff managed to keep Del steady, keeping her from falling on her ass.

“Popcorn, why the hell are you wet?,” Steven only laughed at Duff’s question and pointed at Stef who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey..have you seen Mags?” Del asked, trying to get back on topic. To say that Del was a little concerned with Mags being at this party alone while pregnant was an understatement.

“Last I saw her, she went to go upstairs and powder her nose or some shit like that. Probably just needed to breathe. Come join us! You two have perfect timing because we were just talking about the band. Steven was telling me that you watched from the audience. How crazy was it?” Stef asked motioning towards Del to join them. The partygoers they were talking to turned towards Del, curiosity spread across their faces.

“It was insane!” Del smiled and looked up at Duff remembering how amazing the show was, how amazing Duff was.

Duff had begun to walk forward, taking Del’s comment as a cue that they would not be joining them; however, she began to take a few steps back.

“ I want to make sure that Mags is doing ok. Plus she was the one who invited me, and I don't wanna be rude,” Duff guided Del through the crowd of people. Duff made sure his arm was tightly wrapped around her waist. He had no intention of losing her, not now not ever.

Del let breath escape her once they walked up the marble steps. When they reached the top, Del was able to take in the scenery for the first time. A large chandeleur hung high above them, giving the illusion that it was floating in the air. The glass shimmered and reflections of the coral marble could be seen if you looked close enough.

“It looks like it is floating,” Duff pointed out to Del as they stood at the top of the stairs.

She just nodded at his response.

“Would you like me to buy you one?”

Del sent him a confused look before speaking, “No, we can barely afford food.”

“I meant when Guns N’ Roses makes it big,” Del melted as he spoke. She felt his arms lightly wrap around her, pulling her close.

“I would love one when you make it big,” Duff smiled at his words. He was glad that she knew they were going to make it big too. Del stood on her tiptoes and Duff bent over in realization that she wanted to kiss his forehead.

She lightly tugged his hand and wandered around the second floor. It was in the fourth room that Del heard a quiet sob from behind the door. She shot a quick look at Duff who nodded in understanding, knowing that if that was Mags she most likely wouldn't want him seeing her in her current state.

It was a soft knock on the door that pulled Mags from her sobbing.

Fuck, someone found her.

She took a couple deep breaths before talking, “Sorry occupied.”

Mags was almost impressed on how quickly she could put a mask on and pretend everything is okay.

“Can I occupy it with you?”

Mags couldn't have gotten off of the ground faster to open the door to the familiar face.

“Thank god you’re here,” Mags pulled Del into a tight hug. To say this party had been complete shit was an understatement. Del just smiled and hugged her even tighter back.

“This bathroom is too big, like what do you do with all this space?” Del asked, trying to bring up anything beside the fact that Mags had been crying in the bathroom for the past hour.

Mags could put on her mask all she wanted, but Del could see through it. Del could see her pain.

“The marble is a little gaudy for my taste,” Del nodded in agreeance with Mags before joining her on the floor.

They sat in silence, Del waiting for Mags to bring up the real reason that she was alone crying in the bathroom.

“He used to sing to me every night. He said he wrote the song about me, I had fallen in love with falling asleep to his angelic voice,” Mags whispered, fighting back the tears that were fighting to escape.

Del remained silent as the pair sat on the bathroom floor far away from the world that was on the other side of the locked bathroom door. She didn’t truly know Drew. All she knew him as the bastard who broke Mags heart, and she hated every ounce of him for that.

“But now, now he sings to someone else.” Once the first tear escaped, there was no hope holding back the rest. The tears flowed down her face like a river escaping a dam. The moment Mags saw Drew with his girlfriend or wife or whoever the hell the woman he brought to the party was, she was done. She was tired of the cruel world and how it kept kicking her repeatedly even though she was never able to get up. Mags was tired of putting on a tough face. She was tired of pretending everything was fine when the world around her was shattering. She was tired of being Mags.

Del wrapped her arms around Mags, who quickly cried into her shoulder. Del thought she knew what pain was. When her fiance hit her, she thought she knew pain. While that hurt, this was a different type of pain. This was the pain of a young soon to be mother who was thrown to the curb by an adulterous man who could care less what happened to not only the woman he impregnated, but his child as well. He didn’t give a damn about his own flesh and blood.

“Do you wanna go home?” Del asked, earning a small head nod from Mags.

“Can you get me something to drink? He is down there flaunting some chick and I do not think I will be able to handle it sober,” Del nodded her head and placed a small kiss upon her cheek. From the corner of her eye, Mags saw Del talking to Duff probably instructing him to get her her drink. She was relieved to know that Del wasn't walking around alone. Mags didn't get a good look at them, but she swore that she saw Mark and Matt, her ex-fiance, downstairs.

It was only for a second, but Duff and Mags shared a quick moment of eye contact across the room. Mags sent him a small smile which she knew that Duff, just like Del, saw through. Luckily he seemed to not press further and followed Del out of the bathroom.

Time was always a funny thing. For some people a minute could flash before their face while for others that minute could feel like years. For Mags there was one month, one single night a little over a month ago that she kept playing in her head over and over again.

It was the night before Mags had met Del. The night Mags woke up naked in Duff’s room with no condom wrapper around. They were both trashed and it meant nothing. She not only hoped, but prayed that Duff wasn’t the father of her unborn child. She knew it was selfish because Duff would probably make an amazing father, but he was going to make an amazing father to Del’s children whenever they chose to have them. Mags sleeping with Duff was anything, but an important minor detail.

Duff didn’t like the idea of separating from Del, but she assured him that it would only be for a couple of minutes. Once again time was being a funny thing. When Duff returned back to the bathroom where Mags was, his heart stopped. Alone in the room was Mags who was freaking out that Del was alone downstairs. Duff tried reassuring Mags that Del would be okay, but when she told him who was also at the party he ran to go find Del.

Del had found her way to a back room downstairs where there was a closet filled with several pillows and blankets. Del smiled at her find, hoping that a beer and a quick nap would give Mags enough to recover and leave the party with her head held high.

“Long time no see,” Del’s heart stopped at the familiar voice. What was Matt doing in a place like this, and where there was Matt there was also Mark not too far behind.

“Yes, what a month or two? I am sorry, but I have to deliver these to someone so I cannot stay and chat,” Del said trying to stand her ground.

“I think it can wait, this is about Beth. You remember her don’t you? Or do I have to remind you who your best friend was,” Mark’s voice was spitting poison as he handed Del a letter. He couldn't forgive her for the pain she caused.

Del opened the letter, and it was a small invitation to celebrate Beth and Mark’s engagement.

“Congratulations, but I am busy that evening,” Del spat without even looking at the date.

“Oh, will you be posing for another magazine?” Del froze as her ex-fiance stood blocking her only exit out of the room.

“No! If you are referring to the magazine article, most of it wasn’t true. I do not know how they got the scandalous photo of Duff and I, but that wasn’t what the photo was supposed to be used for. It was supposed to be a private photo,” Del shot back.

“Ohh a private photo for Duff”

“Don’t say his name Matt,” Del barked back. She hoped that her shouting would make Matt back down, but her ex-fiance’s smirk only grew.

“Whoah whoah whoah, lets all just calm down. Matt go and stand outside, so I can finish talking to Del,” Matt was about to protest at his words, but one look from Mark and he left the room.

“Touch me and I will scream. I know people here who wouldn’t think twice about beating you up,” Del said once Matt left the room.

“Ohh let me guess you scream, and Duff will come running in here like a knight in shining armour?” Mark laughed at his own words.

“Yes, he loves me.”

“Delilah, stop being such a child. He doesn’t love you. He only wants you for your body, and once he gets bored with you, which he will, he will toss you aside and move onto the next girl” The way Mark said the words made her flinch.

No, she told herself. No, Mark was wrong.

“Beth and I are getting married and I want you to be at the celebration party. I do not care if you come or not for my sake, but I know Beth wants you there.”

“She called me dead,” Del shot back.

“Well Delilah, her best friend left without saying goodbye. If someone who I grew up with and imagined growing old together with just got up and left for some guy, I would be pretty mad too,” Mark shrugged off Delilah’s comment, not really caring if Beth hurt Delilah’s feelings.

“I left her a letter,” Delilah’s voice was barely louder than a mouse. Regret filled her bones as she thought about how badly she hurt Beth, but that wasn’t enough to make her want to go.

“It would be a shame if Duff found out you were cheating on him with that other guy in that article. Ohh what was his name Axl?” Mark didn’t want to take it this far by threatening her, but Delilah needed to come home.

“That is not true. I am faithful and you know that,” Delilah shot back.

“Well here is the thing Del, it is my word against yours. Who is Duff going to believe, you or me? Honestly..even the media thinks you are sleeping around. Plus, even if he does believe you, there will always be that seed of doubt that will eat him alive. He will spend nights getting so drunk that he lies awake trying to figure out if he was ever good enough for a whore like you,” Del interrupted him before he could continue.

“Shut the fuck up, you fucking piece of shit. I am finally happy. I wake up in the morning smiling. I love him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to have a family with him, and you aren’t going to fuck that up.”

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