#i might dedicate an entire post to my favorite songs

[obislittleone]

Too Sweet

Dbf!Joel Miller x College!Reader

A/n: hey guys so i may or may not take a writing break (i know i said i was gonna write more but like) the stress of all the nazi shits that keep plaguing my comment sections on every post i make, regardless if it’s political or not is making me wanna tear my head off… so I might just go away a while.

Warnings: fluff, awkward mentions of past relationships, dbf!joel, smut, piv (unprotected), so much teasing. It’s actually pretty cute guys.

Is anyone at all surprised by the song choice? Hozier has us all in a headlock rn… also this is dedicated to my favorite joel writer @macfrog bc she’s just amazing and you should read her work.

MASTERLIST

“Babygirl,” he breathed, pulling back but not away, his face still inches from your own. You could clearly see his blown pupils and focused expression. “Get upstairs.” Though you wanted to tease him, wanted to quip back a quiet ‘or what?’, you needed him just as much, and you weren’t going to be told twice. 

“Dates are a bad idea,” you reminded him, handing over another nail from the box in your hands.

A last minute kitchen Island was added to the kitchen’s floor plan on the current house the team had been working on, so now it was up to yourself and Joel to make that happen. Well, it was up to Joel to make that happen, and it was up to you to stand by and watch him. 

“I know, s’just,” he shook his head, hammering the nail down and holding his hand up for another. “I don’t get the whole thing these days where relationships are built on hookups.”

Your lips turned up in a smile. He was an old fashioned guy, with old fashioned ideals about love and dating and relationships. It was sweet, albeit a little obnoxious. You rather liked hooking up with him, however little it may be.

“Where would we even go?” you saw how on the first hit, the nail went crooked, so you handed him another before he even reached. 

“I don’t know, hadn’t thought that far.”

You had to laugh at that. 

“You wanna take me on a date but you don’t know where we would go?” 

“Well,” he finished the last nail then stood up next to you, scratching the back of his neck. “This ain’t exactly an easy situation, we got your old man to avoid.”

Very reasonable, but sort of an obvious point by now. This entire thing started based on the fact that: you know each other because of your father, as in, they are each other’s closest friend. Pair that with one man hooking up with the other’s daughter, it becomes a disaster waiting to happen… except for he doesn’t see it that way, and neither do you. 

You sighed, looking around to make sure everyone was still outside with the boss. Joel had just wiped his forehead on his arm to rid himself of the sweat, and you could see the tension in his muscles from the work he just finished. You stepped up to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close enough to peck his lips once. 

“If you can find a place where we won't get caught, then I’d love to go on a date with you.” 

He smiled, kissing you again. He had wanted to tell you he was too sweaty for hugs right now, but as soon as you wrapped yourself around him, those thoughts suddenly left his mind. You just fit so well against him, he wonders how he never realized. 

-

He was even older than you thought. Not actually, but this man had decided on a date location, and as you were pulling in, the things packed into the backseat started to make sense. 

“Drive In movies?” You shouldn’t be surprised, the guy is practically a fossil, he even texts like he's still got a flip phone.

“Your dad’s never taken you here?” He chuckled, pulling into the line at the front. 

“No,” you laughed, leaning back in your seat as the cars ahead moved up. 

“Good, then we won’t run into him.” 

You reached and grabbed his hand over the center console. He always gave two little squeezes before readjusting his grip, rubbing his thumb on the center of your palm. It was sweet, comforting. 

He rolled down his window and paid the attendant in the booth, just a kid, probably still in high-school… but he certainly had an attitude on him, given the nasty glare he served Joel after making eye-contact with you. Joel had never let go of your hand, the kid knew he wasn’t your dad. 

“What’d you tell him, anyway?” He asked, driving off towards the lot on the opposite side of the land. The big screen was not even rolling the trailers yet. 

“Hm?” 

“Your dad,” he seemed almost shy about mentioning your dad in front of you, in this context. How did you lie to him this time? But he knew what he was doing, what he’d been doing and still plans on doing. 

“Told ‘im I was gonna go shopping with a friend, that I may or may not sleep over.”

He raised an eyebrow and smirked, never taking his eyes off the road. He pulled into a spot in the very back corner, where it was likely to remain empty the entire duration of the movie. 

“Oh did you, now?” 

You turned a light shade of pink at admitting to him you wanted to sleep over… not like it was a new occurrence, but you hadn’t really asked him yet. 

“I didn’t tell him for sure, I know Sarah-”

“Sarah’s with Tommy at a concert in Dallas,” he said, unbuckling his seat belt and turning off the engine. “Text your dad, let him know that friend of yours is keepin’ you till tomorrow.”

He got out of the truck, walking around the front to open your door, holding his hand out to help you down. Ever the gentleman. 

“Thank you, kind sir,” you teased, walking around the backseat door and helping him unload the piles of blankets he’d managed to stuff in. The man practically emptied the top shelf of his linen closet for this. 

“Anything for you, M’lady.” 

He ended up taking almost everything into his arms, letting you carry one pillow and a single blanket towards the back of the truck. Normally it was all dusty and gross, proof of the work it helped him do. You wouldn’t even have noticed, because you don’t often pay attention to the state of other people’s truck beds, but he had cleaned the whole thing out, making it look as if he’d just brought it home from the dealership… minus the odds and ends of dents from his toolbox and timber. 

“What’s playin’?” You nodded up to the screen as he took the pillows and blankets, tossing them across the truck bed to make a cozy little area for the two of you. 

“It’s uh…” he reached into his pocket, checking the nightly double stubs. “Jaws and E.T., it’s a Spielberg double feature.”

You don’t remember telling him that Spielberg was your favorite director, but maybe he was just already at that place where he could read your mind… or maybe it was just a coincidence and he thought that the throwback double feature at the drive in would be fun. Either way, he hit the nail right on the head. 

“Sounds good to me.” 

When everything was settled just the way he wanted, he turned to you, his hand out towards the blankets. “After you, darlin.”

You tried to step up on the tailgate, but your foot slipped for how high it was. 

“Want me to give you a toss?” He joked, but you rolled your eyes at him. You would not be acquiring his help after that joke. 

“I’ll be just fine, thank you.” 

It may have been embarrassing, but like hell you were gonna give into him, his chuckles of amusement under his breath as you slowly and steadily climbed up by yourself. It was much harder to grab onto the dip in the bed when there were so many blankets spread out. Eventually you made it up, collapsing onto your back into the mound of bedding. 

“First try,” you raised a fist in the air, looking back to him to see his amusement had not ended and he was smiling wide where he stood, arms crossed and brows raised when your eyes met. “You comin’?”

And as easily as he could walk, he used the ridge along the underside of the tailgate to climb up over on the side, sitting down next to you and giving you a light hearted side eye. “See how easy that was?” 

“Oh yeah, sure. You must be so proud, you’re a pro at climbing into your own truck.”

He laughed, laying back beside you. “Baby, I think anyone looks like a pro compared to you.”

“Maybe I’m just more athletically inclined, wanted to take the long way,” you chided, sitting up onto your elbows and looking over at him. The trailers had started running, and the light was hitting his features so nicely. He looked so nice. You could argue that he always did. At work when he was a sweaty mess, he looked real good then, too.

“I’m sure that’s it.” 

He settled against the pillows, nodding his head upwards for you to join him. He brought you near with open arms, one that settled under your shoulder and the other that settled on your waist. You’d tucked your head under his chin, feeling him rest his head on top of yours. 

You both had fucked around, sure… but this was a little slice of heaven right here. No amount of sneaking around or giving each other temporary pleasure beat the simplicity of laying next to one another, breathing in each other’s air, and being on a date. A real one. It wasn't a hasty exchange built upon needing to get off, but a choice to spend genuine time together, in which you receive nothing but the pleasure of one's company.

You couldn’t remember the last time you went on a date. Joel was right, hookup culture had become too strong in this day and age. It stands to reason that you haven’t actually slept with anyone in a while. You like being asked out, but guys your age don’t exactly want to give you that satisfaction. Joel asked you out. Sure, he fucked you silly on the stretch of his fingers only a week ago… but he still asked you out.

Jaws ended sooner than you thought it would. Back when you were a kid, and afraid of sharks, it seemed much longer of a movie. There was a lull between it and E.T., assuming the kid working in the projection tower had to change out the film roll himself. It made for a sweet and quiet conversation that sparked up as soon as the credits rolled. 

“You bring a lot of girls here?” 

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, even though it was meant as a teasing question. 

“Nah,” he said anyway, turning a bit more to face you. “Usually, I don’t have to hide from my girlfriend’s dads. Not since highschool, anyway.”

You almost didn’t catch it. His use of the word girlfriend, which subtly implied that’s what you were… but you weren’t one to assume, or at least, not with Joel and the risky business of your relationship. You laced your hand with his between your bodies, looking down at his fingers while you did your best to recover the conversation without acting awkward. 

“The more I think about it, I’m not so sure my dad would be angry.”

Joel wished he had the mindset to think that way. 

“You kiddin’ me? If your dad found out I’d been messin with his only daughter, I’d get his shotgun to my head.” 

A laugh escaped your lips, but you shook your head. 

“You’re not just messin with me, though…” 

At least, you hoped he wasn’t. Of all things that could be said about you and Joel, it was that you had already gotten attached. Already been to a place where you miss seeing him at work every day when you go home. Miss talking to him and learning more about his life, and having him listen about yours. There have been so many people in your life who told you that you talk too much, or that you never shut up. But Joel never has. He listens, and he’s happy to. You’d hate to lose that one day and never get it back.

“No,” he lifted your chin so you’d meet his eyes again. “I’m not just messin with ya.”

You held his stare for a moment, neither of you leaned in. It was just a nice moment, to look at one another, and to appreciate what you saw. A moment to see that hey, Joel has little flecks of gold in the brown of his eyes. A little moment for when you get sad that he isn’t around, that way you can remember how he looks at you when he is around. It’s something mixed with longing and contentment. Two opposites that somehow come together on his features and tell you more than his words could ever say. 

“Good,” you finally replied. “In any case, my dad won’t shoot ya. I think he loves you too much.”

He laughed, the low rumble vibrated through his chest, and you felt it against your joined hands.

“You don’t suppose I could woo him over too, huh?” 

“I don’t think your charm would sway him as easily.”

“Oh I got charm, now?”

“No, not really… nice ass, though,” you giggled, and he playfully shoved your arm back, causing you to fall into a fit of laughter on your back. “Just bein’ honest, mister.”

“I see how it is,” he pulled you back in with a swift move of his arm. “Only want me for my body.”

“What can I say? I’m a modern woman in a modern world.”

“S’all the same to me, whatever gets you to agree to a date with me. Still can’t believe you did…” 

He says it half jokingly. You know he doesn’t see himself as desirable. Even though he’s in the prime of his life and is quite literally one of the finest men this town has to offer, he looks at the obstacles. He works too often, has a teenage daughter, he doesn’t look the way he used to, some people find him incredibly boring… but only the worst people. 

“Joel, I'm lucky to be on a date with you.” 

“Yeah, sure… s’not like you ain’t got a hundred guys your age lining up behind me to-”

You kissed him. He was not going to be permitted to speak if he was not going to say nice things about himself, a new rule you were establishing. He didn’t seem to care much for the rest of his sentence after you pulled away, the words slipping from his mind the second your lips touched his. 

“I like you,” you told him, making your intentions very clear to him. You weren’t just messing around, either. “You treat me better than all those shitheads, anyway.”

-

You’d been passing in and out of consciousness on the drive home. You’d been up since the crack of dawn this morning, the neighbor’s dog barking incessantly. You’re sure Joel heard it too, unless of course he’d been laying on his good ear, the bad one would have canceled out all the noise. 

The streetlights go by in waves over your eyes, lids closed lightly after each time they flutter. You were curled so sweetly into the passenger seat of Joel’s truck, finding such comfort in the place. You’d have thought it was where you spent most of your time. His hand was on the edge of your knee the whole drive, rubbing small circles over the area. 

By the time you both had gotten home, you had to scan the yard for signs that your dad may be in the near vicinity. He was usually never home on a Friday night, unless there was a Rangers game or if he had company. It made sense that his car was gone when you both pulled up. 

“You text him, yet?” 

You shook your head, pulling your phone out of your back pocket and completing the task meant for three hours ago. 

“It’s only ten, he might be at the bar, still.”

You didn’t over explain anything in your message, no need to make him question your thoroughness. Just something simple and quick. 

Staying over at Amy’s, I’ll be back before lunch. Drive safe.

But then you immediately deleted the last part. Because how would you know he’s still out? 

Joel had cut the engine, getting out and walking around to meet you at your door, except you’d already opened it and stepped out yourself.

He gave you an unserious look that feigned offense. 

“Hey now,” he settled his hands on his hips, the sass evident in his voice. “We’re still on a date, miss. I’m supposed to get the door.” 

You knew he wasn’t really upset, but you found it funny pretending as if he was.

“Modern woman in a modern world, remember?” 

“Yeah,” he waved you off, shutting your door and taking your hand as you both walked up to the front door. “What all does that entail, anyhow? Bein’ a modern woman?”

You smiled, watching him take his damn time with the keys. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“Well, since achieving the vote, we’ve made quite a bit of ground. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re allowed to work with you guys, now.”

“Ah… how did I miss that?” 

“Weren’t looking hard enough. We also get to wear pants now, so I can see why you’re confused.” 

And once the door was open, he lazily slung an arm around you to let you inside. Ladies first and all that. He didn’t actually respond to your last comment until you were both in the entry hall, door closed. 

“Shame, I kinda like you without pants,” he hovered in close, partially teasing but otherwise just to get his body nearer to yours. The heat between you blossomed, and it could easily be sensed on both sides since leaving the truck. 

“Mister Joel Miller, don't you know the best part of a modern woman?” 

He raised his eyebrows, his head shaking once and eyes rolling over. Just say it already.

“We can ask any man we want to take our pants off.”

There was barely a second between your words and the speed of his lips meeting yours. It was different from the kisses at the drive in, now it was harsh and hungry. A stark contrast to the softness and the serenity. This was clouded by lust, by the human need to devour.

Joel was not gentle by nature. He was often brutish in his work and day to day. There were few people who genuinely saw him gentle. Sarah, Tommy, your dad, and you, his other side neighbors, and Carol, the lady who takes Sarah to school when he can’t. Maybe not in that exact order, but that was the list nonetheless.

You’d always seen him gentle, so the moment he backs you into the door, your back slamming on the painted wood, something stirs. You liked Joel how you knew him… but maybe there was other unexplored territory to delve into. 

“Joel,” you whined out on the end of a breath. His name falling from your mouth was always how he preferred to hear it, but under this context had to be his favorite.

“Baby,” he trailed his kisses to your cheek, then jaw, then neck, resting in the crook of your shoulder and seemingly finding a home there. Your hands dove through his hair, tugging ever so gently and feeling the vibrations on your skin as a repercussion. His hands never found a resting place, running up and down your sides, every few seconds reaching down for a feel of your ass. He seemed to like yours, too. 

When the arousal became too much, you tried your luck at rolling against him. The sound he made alone would have been enough for you to know how badly he wanted you, but the feel of him through his jeans was a physical show of it. He gets hard so fast for you. 

“Babygirl,” he breathed, pulling back but not away, his face still inches from your own. You could clearly see his blown pupils and focused expression. “Get upstairs.”

Though you wanted to tease him, wanted to quip back a quiet ‘or what?’, you needed him just as much, and you weren’t going to be told twice. 

He watched you from behind, taking the stairs two at a time until you reached the top. You nearly tripped over the last stair, but before you could go toppling over, his arm around your waist stopped you dead in your place. 

“So damn clumsy,” he shook his head, the edge of a smirk forming. He tapped your hip with his free hand, getting you to move forward again until you got to his door. “Can’t get in a truck, can’t climb stairs…”

Now that he’d teased you first, you felt you had a small bit of free reign to mess with him. He was still gonna have you, but why make things so boring? You stared at the handle, gripping it, but making no move to twist it and open the door. 

“Doorknob too much for you, too?”

You narrowed your eyes over your shoulder, where he was lingering closely. You could feel him pressed against your backside, the arousal evident in every breath he took, but he was still having fun with his little pokes of annoyance at you.

“I think I remember a rule about your room being off limits…” You trailed, cheekily smiling at him before he reached around you and opened the door himself. He held out his hand with a cocky raised brow, and waited for you to step in. 

“Ladies don’t always have to go first, y’know. S’all part of-”

“Bein’ a modern woman, I know.”

But still you went in first, taking a few steps backward until your knees hit the edge of the bed and caused you to sit. You tilted your head at him, still leaning in the doorway, his hand on the frame above his head and his other hand still steadily on his hip. What’s he waiting for?” 

“I ain’t gonna wait all night, cowboy…” 

He chuckled, shaking his head and slowly coming forward. For someone so eager, he was taking his sweet time. 

“You’re cute,” he gently pushed you back into the mattress, crawling one arm at a time over your form. “But something tells me that you would wait all night.”

He leaned down and met your lips with his, feeling your hands climb from the bed, to his shoulders, then to the sides of his face. He loved the feeling of your hands on him. Loved the way that with each pass of your skin against his, you began to learn the feeling of him as well. With one hand still supporting himself, his other raked down your side, then up over your middle, hugging the curves of your stomach, the stretch of your ribcage, and the gentle peaks of your breasts. He stopped there, paying mindful attention according to every sound you made, every groan of approval, or whimper of satisfaction. It was all he could hear, and became his instruction on how to touch you. 

You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him closer between them, trying to spur on the friction that would give you relief. Joel knew the signs of your arousal clearly by now, but there was still ground for him to cover. 

“Gettin’ so needy already, baby.”

His murmur against your mouth was interrupted. You whined at the loss of his lips, but were quieted in a moment when his hands trails downwards. He knelt one knee between your legs, the other still on the ground. He lifted behind your knees and gave a quick shove to drive you further up his mattress. His next move was to go for your shorts, given the fact they’d been causing him to mentally strain himself all evening. 

“Gotta get these damn things off,” he said.

They went flying to the floor, and then he had to stop a minute. With your knees raised, either side of his hips, he had the most ethereal view of your soaked underwear, a dark and increasingly wet stain against the soft blue cotton. When you noticed how long he’d stopped to enjoy the scenery, you grabbed his hand on your knee. 

“Joel, please-”

“I know, babygirl.”

And he didn’t make you beg for it. Not like the silly college boys would, and have in the past. He sunk down on the ground by his bed, leaning over on his elbows, hooking them under your legs again before pulling himself inward. He kissed over the wet fabric, hooking his fingers underneath it at your sides and slowly sliding them off. 

Your hands found his hair and your mouth parted in a shaking breath. The slow contact he made was like sweet torture. Your skin arose goosebumps under his touch, agonizingly slow and increasingly annoying, given your absolute need for him. 

“Need you… Joel I can’t- fuck.”

He kept it slow, but he licked upward, meeting your clit in devastating motions. You needed more, and as if he read your mind, his first finger was brought down and inserted to your seeping entrance. Your cries of approval met her ears like a happy melody, pushing him to go faster. 

You’d already been pushing the edge, just from him touching you… but now that the contact was area specific, you weren’t sure if you could take much more. The hard feeling of him pressed against your earlier had seeded a thought that you would not be satisfied until he was inside you, heavy and full. 

“Want more,” you tried to tell him, but he would not allow his feasting to be cut short. He’d made up his mind about the first time he would actually have sex with you. It wasn’t going to be rushed.

He shook his head, the sensation from the motion even more impacting. You took one hand away from his hair, fisting his sheets as tightly as you could. 

“Gotta work you a little,” he pulled back to say, adding another finger to the mix, feeling you tightly around him. He climbed back up your body, hand never leaving its place between your legs. “Relax for me, yeah?”

You did your best, taking a breath and keeping your eyes trained on his, but they soon fell to his mouth, lips licked clean and the very corners covered with you. It somehow flipped a switch in you that you weren’t sure was good or not. Joel was the first man to go down on you. Joel was the first man to kiss you without immediately putting his tongue in your mouth. Joel was the first man to be so invested in your relationship, that he asked you out on a date… after you messed around. It stands to reason that Joel may be the first man you genuinely fall in love with. Not puppy love like in high school. Not conditional love based on what he can get out of it. Actual love. 

You dawn on this realization quickly, still in the moment and feeling his every move, every grip of his hand or every curl of his fingers. It’s all so instant, and in your present state of mind. Like, every time he moves an inch, it somehow contributes to your relative thought. 

“Joel?” you look up at him with glassed over eyes. 

He pauses his movements below on account of how sincere you sound. 

“Yeah?”

It’s not I love you… not yet. It’s I know you, it’s going to be you.

You reach down between your bodies, his fingers still sheathed in yours, and palm him generously. Without losing eye contact, you undo his jeans, doing your best with one hand to maneuver the waistband of his boxers and pull him from his confinement. You aren’t looking yet… but you know from the feel of his sheer size alone, you’re in for the pain of your life. It bothered you last time, the thought that he may break you on his girth, that you may feel differently or resent him from how he feels… except you don’t feel that way anymore. Because of your aforementioned realization, you now feel that though this may hurt, it would not change your desire for him. He’s not a boy who’s hurting you to get off. He cares about you. 

Not just messin’ around…

“You’ve made me wait long enough,” you told him, the awestruck glaze in your eyes slowly fading as your smirk crawled over your face. You grabbed the hem of his shirt, allowing him to help you get it off. Seeing more of his skin, and feeling it against you when he settled back down was elating. It felt like the doorway to something, the hallway leading to reward. 

“Baby, you’re still tight, I don’t wan-”

“I’ll be okay, I promise.”

He sighed, trying to look anywhere but your eyes because dammit they were convincing. 

“I hurt you, you tell me. Promise that,” he looked at you sternly, and you can’t say you’ve ever seen him so serious like this alone with you. He almost seemed, for lack of a better word, scared. Like you were a flower petal he was afraid to touch for the fear it would fall from the blossom. 

“Promise.”

He nodded, smiling weakly, still unsure but willing to let you lead him blindly. 

He picked you up and put you down on the proper region of the bed, your head meeting the pillows behind you. You giggled at his rapid motions to strip you of your shirt and bra next, his pent up anticipation now getting the better of him. He’d kicked off the last of his remaining clothing, looking back to you, sprawled out on his bed, waiting patiently for him. 

“If we’re gonna do this, we’re doin’ it right,” he joked, crawling back over you. 

He nuzzled his nose against yours, then leaned down to collect a kiss. The kiss met your lips but then parted and moved to your neck, then shoulders, licking the sweet spot in the crook between them. He traveled down your chest, his kisses never stopping, although his hands paid special attention to each peak of raised flesh. 

Your noises fell on grateful ears, the appreciation for them showing in every eager kiss, every soft grope of your skin. When he reached your lower region, he kissed both thighs apart, lifting one at a time and making sure they were set aside his hips comfortably. Once done, he kissed his way back up. Tentative, and slow. Joel is often strong and silent, and in this instance, it showed immensely. The way he can easily move parts of you around without hassle, and do so without uttering a word. It was dangerously addicting, how he already knew your body so intimately after only a few experiences. 

Once his lips again found yours it lasted, and lasted. The feeling of him right against you was breathtaking. No barriers, no clothing, no promises of ‘another time’ between you.

“You let me know, alright?” 

You nodded, his voice had become gentler from his first worrisome words minutes ago. 

He kept his eyes on you, trying to gauge your reaction moment by moment. You wrapped an arm over his shoulder, holding the hairs at the back of his neck to ground yourself. He lined himself up to you and ever so slowly began to push in, holding himself after the first sharp intake of breath through your nose. 

“M’okay,” you said assuringly, the sensation dulling slightly when you focused solely on him and not his actions. 

He went further, and deeper, slower than sludge but making sure you could feel every inch comfortably before moving again. You twirled his hair between your fingers, the other hand digging nails into his side. His face, eyes still focused on your expression, was becoming the product of bliss. This entire exchange, the build up, the stretching pain, and the way your lungs couldn’t seem to exhale, was all worth it… just to see this look on his face. The way he was having to fight himself to stay in the moment and not get lost in the euphoria, it was the most beautiful you’d ever seen him. When he was dazed and confused just by feeling you around him. 

“You gotta breathe, baby,” he let out, trying to keep your comfort in the forefront of his mind. He took a deep inhale of his own, and when he felt you following his steady pattern he was able to relax a little more, just like you did. “Atta girl, just like that… keep doin’ that.”

He started to move, a single thrust once he could be sure that there wasn’t any stiff pain. The only sting left over was fading, the slow and measured pace he set was becoming like a lifeline. Comparable to a heartbeat. In and out, in and out, the feeling becomes more pleasurable and addictive. You need a heartbeat to live, and in this moment, you need Joel to live, his easy and gentle pace. 

“S’good,” you murmured, your eyes fluttering closed and his head dropping to your neck again. “Feels so deep.”

Joel bit down on your skin, tethering himself. The praise was something he wasn’t quite used to. He’s self deprecating to a fault, but hearing the opposite from your lips, which he adores, makes him feel stronger somehow. Keeping a tether is all he can do to keep from rutting against you. He wants so badly for you to be different, to not end up just a one night stand or a friend with benefits. He wants you to feel how much he cares about you, wants to take care of you. 

“Doin’ so good, baby,” he whispered, your neck absorbing most of the sound. “Taking me, so tight.”

Your muscles started contracting the moment he sped up his rhythm, only one thrust that was different from the rest. It hit you so fast, the coil in your stomach, building up and aching for relief. 

“Joel… shit,” You could barely even get your words out, interrupted by a whimper of white hot euphoria. “I’m gonna…”

“I know,” he growled, his desire to rut into you slowly fading as he increased his pace to meet that carnal need. “I feel you, baby. Give it to me.”

It built only a little more, but then you couldn’t take it. It was too much, too full. The tightness in your stomach burst, letting go of every tense muscle in your body. It was so intense you practically screamed for him, his name a repetitive mantra on your tongue. Joel. Your hips jolted and writhed around, the feeling increasing with every hit against your cervix. Joel. Your walls tightened even more around him, the sting only slightly returning but in a way that made you crave it. Joel. He came right after you, unable to even try pulling out, just for how tightly you held him in. Joel…

He dropped half his weight, pulling away from your neck to kiss your lips. He needed to. It didn’t feel right to stay hidden in your neck when he had such gratification for you right now. The way you made him feel was no simple thing, and he felt you needed to be thanked for that. If a kiss was all he could give you in the moment, then so be it.

Joel…

“I’m sorry,” he let out, leaving his forehead against yours. 

“For what?” 

“I came in you… I didn’t ask,” he furrowed his brows, hoping you wouldn’t begrudge him too badly. He’d say he got lucky when you pulled him back down for another kiss. 

“It’s okay… wanted you to,” you were still coming down from your high, possibly the most intense feeling you’ve ever experienced. He smiled and kissed you again, and again. He shifted the way you both laid, on his side, and brought you close to his chest. 

When your breathing went back to normal, you spoke again. 

“I was scared, y’know.”

He looked closely at you, unsure of what you meant and why. 

“I thought you might hurt me. I didn’t care if you did, but I still thought you might,” you told him, running your fingers in circles over his skin. Though you seemed in bliss, perfectly happy, he couldn’t help but be frightened that maybe you weren’t telling him.

“Did I? Hurt you?” 

“No.” you shook your head, holding a smile and making sure he saw it was genuine. “You didn’t hurt me, it was good. Really good. No other guy has ever…” 

He again was confused by the trail of your voice… no guy has ever…? Oh, shit.

“No other guy’s made you come before?” 

The embarrassed blush on your cheeks told him all he needed to know. You weren’t sure why it was so awkward to let him find that out, but you suddenly felt like you were more of a child, having not experienced things that he has for years before. 

“No one before you… and you’ve already got four on the board,” you laughed, trying to make it feel like it wasn’t as big a deal. Like it was funny. 

He narrowed his eyes, raising his head up to look at you closer. 

“Ranger’s night, last week, tonight… that’s three,” he corrected, counting out on three fingers and holding them up. 

“You technically weren’t there the other time,” you smirked, giggling once he looked at you with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. 

“Should’ve called me,” he kissed the tip of your nose, your smile still prominent and growing. “I love hearing you.” 

Over his shoulder you heard his phone buzzing, once, twice, then three times. He huffed, hoping it wasn’t from someone at the work site that wasn’t able to lock up the property after reviewing. 

“Hold on,” he rolled his eyes, turning just far enough to reach his jeans on the ground, pulling his phone from the pocket. He squinted against the harsh light, swiping through the message notifications that appeared when he unlocked the screen. He laughed, turning to you. “S’ your dad.”

“It’s late, I would have thought he was either drunk or asleep by now.”

“Apparently neither,” he slid his phone back on the nightstand, regaining you in his arms. “Wants to know if I’m still awake for a drink.”

You laughed, “Oh, really?” 

“Yeah. Not sure if you’ve heard but, you’re actually at a friend’s house till tomorrow.” 

“How fun for me… so that means a guy’s night for you and my dad?” You played along with him, the sweet tone in your voice turning teasing.

“It would… too bad I’m already asleep.” He reasoned, which is probably what he would repeat to your dad tomorrow if asked. 

“Damn, you old men go to bed early.”

“Hey now… let’s not go crazy.”

-

tags: @justanothersadperson93@moonchild-warrior@hopplessilse @brittmd115 @michilandcof@untamedheart81@just-someone-broken@joelalorian@xybil @yvonneeeee @anoverwhelmingdin@theatrelove3000

[momtaku]

Thoughts on the Attack on Titan Musical

tl:dr; It's been two weeks but I am still not over it.

When I posted the photo of myself holding the playbill of the Attack on Titan musical the most common reaction was "WHAT???", so I guess some background might be good to start with.

Yes, the Attack on Musical is a thing. It was first performed in Japan in January 2023 with shows in Osaka and Tokyo. When it was announced that a second run of the musical would include New York City, I pounced on tickets.

See, it's real! This is my video of the closing number. We were allowed to record this.

The New York run was at the New York City Center which seats about 2200 people. There were a total of 4 shows the weekend of Oct 12. I attended the Saturday matinee. The style of this production is known 2.5D, and is incredibly popular in Japan. I did some checking and this is the first time a 2.5D anime adaptation has appeared outside of Asia. Did Attack on Titan work as a musical?

Surprisingly yes, although I think anyone who wandered in off the streets would've been thoroughly confused. The themes that attracted most of us to the series translate wonderfully to the stage, and despite knowing the story well, they managed to make it feel fresh. Carla's death, for instance. When she realized she was trapped and facing certain death, her song to Eren and Mikasa was a children's lullaby about survival. That portion of the manga always hit me hard, but the desperation, horror and love set to a lullaby? Damn it musical, you made me cry.

The original scene of Hange leading a Titan Biology class might be my favorite of the entire show. The actor who played Hange was the perfect amount of unhinged and delightful as they dance across the table while the 104th answered a pop quiz. (And yes to "they" since the playbill specifically mentions that the actor in the role was known for her portrayal of nonbinary characters.) It was genuinely hilarious.

The musical covers the first 11 chapters of the manga, stopping in the "Struggle for Trost" arc, where the plan for Eren to plug the hole in the wall was conceived but not yet executed. I remember reading that portion of the manga years ago and feeling that same sense of optimism. So the musical ends on a high. Humans finally have a way to win against the titans, It felt like a strange place to end, knowing what ultimately happens in the story, so I wondered if the intention is for a part 2 musical adaptation.

(btw, the staging of "can you plug the hole" had Eren and Levi kneeling closely on the floor together with a manly shoulder clasp looking earnestly at each other. It had me looking at my very ereri friend with raised eyebrows. It was for sure her favorite moment.) What was the performance like?

The short run 2.5D musicals don't have the polish or production budget of a true broadway musical, but it was still wildly entertaining. Since the director is known for breakdance and hiphop, there was plenty of that. The dance numbers were fun. The songs were catchy.

Rather than try to describe it, here's a TikTok review that shows off the 3dmg, the titans, and that two minute head spin that no one could shut up about.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by mixed feelings (@mixed.feelings)

Also, the cast could not have been for perfect. I mean LOOK AT THEM!

From this tweet

Who was in attendance?

As I mentioned before, this was a first in many ways so it attracted people from all over the world. While I was opening my blind box items, I met a group older women from Japan who'd travelled to New York from Tokyo and had purchased tickets to every single NY performance. Their English wasn't great, and my Japanese is nonexistent, but what surprised me the most wasn't their dedication to the show, but that they seemed genuinely surprised to see me. I don't know if that was because I too am an older fan like them, or if they weren't expecting equally passionate westerners at the show but I tend to think it was both. I suspect the Japanese fandom has no idea how big this series is outside of Japan, or that it attracts such a diverse audience.

My podcast partner Luna was sitting next to two women who'd flown in from California. They knew nothing about Attack on Titan but were fans of the actor who played Eren. Since it was his first time performing outside of Japan, they came solely to see him.

On my flight home was a 22 year old wearing an Attack on Titan musical t-shirt. We started talking and I learned it was his first time in New York, his first time seeing a broadway musical, and his first time traveling alone. He just loves the series that much.

In general the audience was much younger than what you'd normally see at a broadway show and 100% more excited. Plenty of people were in cosplay or else wearing Attack on Titan clothing. The atmosphere was insane.

My merch haul

The mug and t-shirt sold out before the second show so I was glad I was there early to snag them. The playbill is selling on Mercari for almost $50. Sadly my poster didn't survive the trip home. It cracked in about 50 places.

Did you do anything else in NYC

Aside from hanging out with so many of my favorite people, the Kodansha Popup House was going on. It was incredibly cool.

We met up with James from the Titan Teatime podcast. I think the plan is do a joint podcast in a few weeks to get everyone's thoughts . I'll post more about that if it actually happens.

Final Thoughts

Rumor has it that the show's successful New York run could mean it will branch out further. If it goes to London, nothing will stop me from being there. It was that much fun, and I can't wait to share the experience with my European friends.

[lonely-pcp]

Alternatives to telepathic communication

hey y’all! I just wanted to compile my own little list of communication methods that aren’t telepathic, as I struggle a bit with that sorta stuff and it’s kinda annoying seeing posts that don’t really go in depth about how many different ways there are to communicate with spirits and egregores. So I decided to make this post for the people who struggle with that as well!

Tarot

tarot is one of my favorite methods of divination, so I wanted to start off this list with it, of course. It definitely deserves a post of its own on using it for communication, so I’m not gonna go too in depth. Plus, some people have strict parents, but there’s plenty of alternatives. But tarot is definitely one of those things that you should research on your own, because there’s way too much to be said, and I’m listing methods, not doing a crash course on tarot. But a good way to use it for communication is to interpret the images intuitively, and if you get stuck, only then try looking up the meaning of the card. Chances are you might get a feeling that doesn’t exactly relate to the card meaning, but trust your intuition! The best way of knowing what the spirit is saying is by trusting the first thing that comes to your mind. Don’t doubt yourself!

but anyway, if tarot interests you, feel free to research it!

Playing card divination

this form of divination is basically tarot’s slightly easier cousin. It works amazingly for yes/no questions as well! Plus it’s a good start for people who practice in secret. I personally used this method of communication when I first started working with J, and it’s helped me a bit with my intuition as well, as I was able to guess what he was up to without being overwhelmed by too many meanings.

Here’s a chart showing the meanings of each playing card, excluding jokers. I personally use one joker as the fool, and the second joker as the world. It’s up to you if you even want to use them though.

There’s also an exercise for telepathy that can be mixed with cartomancy if you so choose! It involves drawing a card without looking and trying to intuitively guess if said card is red or black. If you do this with a spirit you can interpret the card after turning it over as well!

Shufflemancy

This form of divination is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING for beginners and closeted witches, as all you really need is a device that can play music, and most people have phones anyway! A lot of people recommend making a dedicated playlist for this form of divination, but I recommend using your entire music library if possible, because it can take a while to build a perfect shufflemancy playlist from scratch.

I’ve heard of 3 main ways to do shufflemancy, at least with a music streaming service like Spotify or Apple Music:

1: shuffling and skipping - this is the most common form of shufflemancy. It involves putting a playlist on shuffle and skipping a desired number of songs to get an answer to your question.

2: indicator songs - this involves assigning the spirit a song to represent them, and listening to music on shuffle. If the indicator song comes on, the song after will be their message. I use this method quite often since I usually listen to my liked songs on Spotify using shuffle anyway. You can even ask the spirit what they want their indicator song to be using the shuffling and skipping method!

3: asking the spirit - this method involves simply asking the spirit to play a song and pressing play on whatever playlist you’re using and seeing what comes up. If you feel the song relates to the spirit, then you’ve probably contacted them.

The only downside to shufflemancy is that you do have to have a wide range of music to get a decent reading, as it has better results the more variety you have. And another downside is that if you listen to a lot of instrumental music (like EDM, piano covers, etc) then you won’t have lyrics to go by, which kinda makes things a little harder. But it’s still a great method for beginners who want to practice their intuition!

Some general advice

TAKE NOTES! This is something that is definitely needed for this type of work, especially if you forget stuff easily. Take notes on what you ask, what card or song you get, the context and meanings. It will help you in the long run!

adding onto the first point, don’t be afraid to look up meanings! This mainly applies to tarot, as there are pre-established meanings for each card. Take notes on what you find!

Your intuition will always be above the traditional meanings. If you get a feeling that doesn’t align with the traditional meaning of what you’re looking at, it most likely means that you need to know whatever your intuition is trying to tell you. If you don’t get that feeling, that’s completely fine too.

that’s all for now, because I need to get this post out of my drafts. Let me know if you’d like a part 2, as there’s a bunch of other methods that I could list!

[shadamyheadcanons]

What songs do you think that fits Amy and Shadow?

My knowledge about Shadow is only a few so I'm not sure about him

For Amy, it will be Happy Synthesizer and Ikanaide/Don't Go and various bubbly and lively songs

Combining these two for convenience.

First one - I’m glad you asked!

Love your ideas, especially Ikanaide. It sounds pretty upbeat at first, but then you pay attention to the lyrics, and...ouch. Feeling left behind and trying to pretend she’s okay with it? Yeah. That’s Amy. Here’s a link I found for an English version.

And here’s one for Happy Synthesizer.

As for which songs I associate with them, my Song & Dance tag covers the topic pretty well, especially this post.

Given how often I think about these two, though, I’m always finding more examples. There’s one song that I feel fits Amy better than any other. I wrote a headcanon about it on January 7th, 2022. I correctly predicted in that headcanon that a bunch of Amy-related stuff would happen that year--right down to her getting a new theme song, even!

I still think my song idea works better than the one in the Frontiers DLC, though. That one feels kind of bland to me. Yeah, she trusts her cards, but she’s supposed to be a go-getter! She reads the cards and then blazes her own destiny using them as a guide. Her mild Frontiers theme gives off the vibe of someone who’s letting fate happen to them, not the other way around. Amy is kind, but she’s not passive.

Laineybug04 correctly pointed out in this post that “House of Gold” by Atreyu fits Shadamy quite well, and I included “Wait for You” in In a Pinch, but it doesn’t stop there. The more I listen to Atreyu, the more I hear Shadamy, and I’m glad you gave me an excuse to point it out! “House of Gold,” “Wait for You,” “Terrified,” “Super Hero”...and “I Would Kill/Lie/Die for You” is pretty much spot-on for Shadow’s brand of dedication. It’s more romantic than the title makes it sound, haha.

They’re not all necessarily romantic in nature, but it’s very easy to imagine Shadow singing them about Amy.

I want to call special attention to “Stronger Than Me,” though.

The speaker starts by showing insecurity.

Yup.

He fears opening up and showing his entire self because he thinks others will be scared by what they see.

Yup.

He admits connecting with him might be complicated sometimes, but he remains steadfast because the relationship is important to him.

And, uh...this is from the chorus:

“When I was lost, You were always there, my guiding light, You are my ward, my compass ROSE, my lighthouse in the night”

Do I even need to explain? She’s one comma away from being name-dropped. The song’s title fits perfectly, too. It takes a lot of strength to always look for the best in people and put your faith in the goodness of others. It’s so easy to give up. Shadow would legitimately admire her for it. She deserves to know how special she is for that, and who better to tell her than someone whose entire life was changed by that strength and kindness?

Here’s a detailed breakdown of the song and lyrics. Trust me, you’ll need the lyrics sheet.

Second ask:

Yes, absolutely! I think of him as liking modern rock and metal, and also jazz because it would’ve been all the rage when he was made. I’ve mentioned this before, but if I had to pick one band to be his favorite, I’d say Nine Inch Nails. It’s heavy, intense, angsty, and complex, and it has some of the same electronic, bass-centered vibes as Shadow’s earlier themes. Compare NIN songs like Discipline and The Perfect Drug with Rhythm and Balance (White Jungle’s theme) and Shadow’s original character theme, Throw it all Away, both by Everett Bradley. Trent Reznor also has a deep voice like Shadow and Bradley do. NIN could do a mean cover of Throw it all Away, now that I think about it...

I don’t think it’s the best idea for canon, even the questionably-canon Twitter Takeover, to cite real people/artists. It’s fine for fans like us to do it, but the official franchise is different. Humans are flawed and complicated. When you start including real people, you could potentially do something awkward like, say...connect your series built on environmentalism with someone who uses a private jet.

Y’know. Hypothetically.

That’s why I love what the social media team did with Hot Honey in The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog. A fictional band doesn’t carry that risk, and they’re seamless within the Sonic universe. Fans like us can’t get caught on whether or not Shadow would enjoy their music because none of us can actually hear them.

Funnily enough, your ask aligns perfectly with what makes Hot Honey so cute for these two. Shadow canonically doesn’t like Hot Honey at all:

No questions asked, no headcanons needed.

The reason he agreed to go was entirely, 100% because Amy asked him to. I think that’s far sweeter than the Taylor Swift thing. And I’ll be able to prove that when I finish writing Sweeter Than Honey. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about it!

No offense to anyone who does enjoy Taylor Swift’s music, of course. Different strokes for different folks. :)

[visualtaehyun]

When I started getting interested in Thai not even a year ago, I certainly didn't expect to be reading poetry at this point but here we are now:

มิ่งมิตร (ming mit) - the poem from Be My Favorite EP.11

It's part of a book of poems called ขอบฟ้าขลิบทอง (horizon trimmed in gold) and the author's pen name is อุชเชนี (Eugenie). Since 2017, the year after her passing, there's been a literary contest dedicated to her, the Eugenie Awards (website is in Thai).

I've copied over the entire thing from the end of the episode + the translation from the subs + included screenshots with the exact lines (unless it just shows Pear reading, unrelated to the line).

In Pear's recital there's two lines missing/left out that I tried to translate (=*) to the best of my *cough* limited *cough* abilities.

Anything marked in red is either an annotation of mine or where I felt the translation needed clarification.

I ran out of time so make of all of this what you will. I might come back to this post with some comments or meta before Friday.

Disclaimer: I'm a learner of Thai, not a native speaker, so feel free to correct me on anything 🙏

มิ่งมิตร เธอมีสิทธิ์ที่จะล่องแ���่น้ำรื่น Dear Friend, You have the right to sail along and glide (along a river)

ที่จะบุกดงดำกลางค่ำคืน ที่จะชื่นใจหลายกับสายลม To venture into the woods in the dead of night To revel in the joy of a gentle breeze's sway

ที่จะร่ำเพลงเกี่ยวโลมเรียวข้าว ที่จะยิ้มกับดาวพราวผสม To sing your song with the harvested rice To grin (smile) at the stars above shining bright

ที่จะเหม่อมองหญ้าน้ำตาพรม ที่จะขมขื่นลึกโลกหมึกมน To gaze upon the grass with tears in your eyes To absorb as much bitterness as desired (To be deeply bitter, the world inky unmoving)

ที่จะแล่นเริงเล่นเช่นหงษ์ร่อน ที่จะถอนใจทอดกับยอดสน To be cheerful as a swan soaring free To vent it out with the top of the pine tree

ที่จะหว่านสุขไว้กลางใจฅน ที่จะทนทุกข์เข้มเต็มหัวใจ To plant glee in the hearts of people To take in (endure) as much misery (suffering, one of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism) as you're able

ที่จะเกลาทางกู้สู่ฅนยาก ที่จะจากผมนิ่มปิ้มเส้นไหม *To smooth the path to recovery for someone poor (a way out of being poor) *To leave (?) hair soft almost like silken threads

ที่จะหาญผสานท้านัยน์ตาใคร ที่จะให้สิ่งสิ้นเธอจินต์จง *To boldly unite, to defy the eyes of others *To let things end as you envision

ที่จะอยู่เพื่อฅนที่เธอรัก ที่จะหักพาลแพรกแหลกเป็นผง To live for someone you love dearest To battle until your body turns into ashes (no mention of what turns to dust here as a result of bending, fighting, breaking)

ที่จะมุ่งจุดหมายปรายทะนง ที่จะคงธรรมเที่ยงเคียงโลกา To achieve what you strongly desire To pursue fairness (dharma, justice, truth, virtue) for humankind

เพื่อโค้งเคียวเรียวเดือนและเพื่อนโพ้น เพือไผ่โอนพลิ้วพ้อล้อภูผา For the sickle, the crescent moon, your dear friends For the swaying bamboo trees and the mountains

เพื่อเร��องข้าวพราวแพร้วทั่วแนวนา เพื่อขอบฟ้าขลิบทองรองอรุณ For the abundant rice in the paddy to remain For the golden skyline to come once again (For the horizon trimmed in gold to cradle/prop up the dawn)

[gummygowon]

me ranting about girl groups

ok y'all this post is entirely dedicated to @i-luvsang

xg:

ok so for xg, i really have to say that their concept is really cool and they pull it off but i don't really vibe with how much they take from black culture it's a little scary i'm not even gonna lie. like the line between appropriating and appreciating is a little blurry for them in my opinion. also a little confused with the whole global group but like only promoting in korea while they sing mainly in english. most of my negative (?) opinions well not really negative on them are more issues on their company and stylists i do really like the girls though. they're all seem so cool and have cute bond with each other and even hikaru! i will also say they eat up their concepts all the damn time. i still haven't listened to their new stuff but it's really cool that they included sign language into "girl gang"!

fifty fifty:

for these girls, i'm not entirely familiar with ALL the details with their company and law suit but i will say that it’s actually in fucking sane how big cupid was like SOME OF MY SECOND GRADERS KNEW THE CUPID DANCE (tiktok ver tho) LIKE WHAT????

also the way they could be nominated for a grammy makes me giggle like those girls were not tryna make billboard or crush charts like they did. lowkey want them to win a grammy just for the plot like it would be so dramatic considering how apparently the girls might get blacklisted for "defying their company" by asking for financial transparency and people are reading it as the girls are money hungry BUT EVEN IF THEY WERE LIKE BITCH IF I WAS NUGU AND THEN MY SONG BLEW INTERNATIONALLY LIKE THEM I WOULD BE ASKING FOR PAYCHECK CAUSE WTF??

also the way everyone in that damn company is tryna get their slice of money from that song makes me laugh cause damn would u really be tryna take credit for them if the girls were nugu? no.

itzy:

i feel so bad for itzy cause they fell off hard after sneakers and tbh sneakers wasn't like super shit it was just that they wasted a perfectly good royal concept ugh

i love itzy so much and the hate they get is forced like bitch be fr omfg

someone mentioned how itzy didn't have that much competition when they first debuted so it was really just them dominating fourth gen at one point in their careers but with THE AMOUNT OF GGS IN THE INDUSTRY RN ITS INSANE to stay relevant or have chart topping songs every comeback like that's just not possible

i will say that cake isn't my favorite def needs time to marinate with me but i love yuna's part so much also chesire was really good imo and i really liked all the bsides from that era which is a first. kinda surprised it didn't blow up more

overall, the girls have made an impact in the kpop community and yeah they're not on top like they were during loco era or earlier but i still love them

[tanoraqui]

I absolutely love your AUs! Your world building is terrific

-@outofangband

I love and appreciate that this message is, I can only assume, prompted by my most recent post about the Silmarillion Superhero AU, which is objectively crack in general and that particular post was especially so, what with declaring Maglor to be basically the Music Meister (B:TBatB).

HERE'S MORE FREE WORLDBUILDING FOR THAT WORLD:

(kinda retcon to previous statements) the Great Music and Songs of Power work the same way they do in Arda proper, or maybe a little more practically than that (though I suspect First Age Elves regularly got up to much more overt acts of power than we see in LotR). This occupies the same...worldbuilding environmental niche? as "magic" in a Marvel/DC superhero world. Like, "Song" and "spell" are used synonymously.

Correspondingly, like Scarlet Witch is technically a mutant with the mutation "is really good at magic", Maglor and Finrod both got the Light-empowered ability to be really good at Music

They don't have the exact same power. Though the most notable distinction might be more a matter of personality: Finrod is more innately talented at manipulating minds and emotions, and Maglor is more innately talented at manipulating the physical environment. However, when the House of Fëanor officially turned to Villainy, Maglor started leaning more into the manipulating hearts and minds, because that's more sinister, and Finrod was like, "cool, I see what you're doing there" and started practicing more with the sort of Songs that produce effects similar to telekinesis (or healing! Finrod's a good healer)

So, you know shit is getting Really Real if they switch back

They also both have the potential to affect the course Great Music on a level localized to currently-happening or about-to-happen events, because that's my favorite theory as to what was really going on in the Battle of Finrod and Sauron – fighting over not the minds or actions of individuals but how this story was going to go, loyalty, strength and joy or betrayal and tragedy! But that's, well, battling-a-Maiar-for-your-life-and-your-team's level of effort. Fall-unconscious-for-at-least-a-day-afterward effort.

In another recent train of thought:

People with elaborate spreadsheets on “how to kill and/or disable all my family members if necessary”: Maedhros, Fingolfin, Curufin, Finarfin (less elaborate, but he does have a spreadsheet, because he loves them but doesn't trust most of them anymore)

Has thought about it systematically but not written anything down, and the thoughts were more “how could I personally take each person down, dead or alive”: Celegorm

Has thought about it systematically but not written anything down, and the thoughts were exclusively non-lethal, “what could I Sing to quickly pacify (calm, knock out, and/or otherwise harmlessly disable) each person”: Finrod

In charge of the UN office that keeps an entire database of this sort of information for every known superhuman on the planet, but doesn't personally track it: Círdan

Maedhros is basically personally engaged in an escalating quiet war with...the US government, basically. Wherein sometimes they reasonably need to summon him to testify before Congress about his many legally dubious business and other practices, or more often he comes personally to schmooze, lobby, and offer campaign contributions...all of which he's very good at, what with the superhuman charisma. And they're perfectly aware of that danger!

So there's an entire R&D lab in the Department of Defense dedicated to trying to create security measures to counter the powers of...well, superpowered people overall, of course, very much including the House of Finwë. But also: Maedhros specifically.

Maedhros would take this as a personal challenge anyway, not to mention a thing to be evaded for entirely practical reasons. But it's emotionally heavier than that because the entire House of Finwë has trauma about being powerless, because when Ungoliant came in her cloud of Darkness, they were all utterly, painfully powerless. Like all the energy had been stolen from their limbs and all the breath from their lungs, along with (temporarily) the Light. And we all know how that went.

So Maedhros is like, "we are playing a fun little one-upmanship game :)" and then every time they spring something new on him, he does his best to steal it immediately and send it to Curufin or whoever else is necessary to reverse engineer it and devise a countermeasure

One time the DoD got their hands on a live Void Spider, a true Ungoliant spawn, and somehow caged it and started getting usable Darkness from it. Some general, and the scientists working for him, was very please when Maedhros condescendingly tried on the new required-security power-blocking cuff and visibly paled, and made a quick excuse for backing out of the White House meeting he was about to attend. They would've been less please if they'd known that the instant he was back in his car and driving away, he called Fingolfin - directly to his cell phone, not even pussyfooting around by calling Fingon instead - and said, "We have a problem."

They were even less pleased when (predictably tbh) the Spider broke out of containment and a mixed band of heroes and villains had to save Washington DC from being consumed by nothingness, but obviously the US government brought that on themselves.

[loverlocket]

january 9, 2024

song of the day is not strong enough by boygenius!

somehow this is the first time i’ve posted boygenius on this blog?? to clarify: i LOVE them so so much! i’ve been listening to phoebe bridgers for years, and lucy dacus would pop up in my discover weekly every now and then, but i somehow didn’t know about the icon that is julien baker until i started listening to boygenius. she literally has the voice of an angel (never a god wink wink), and the three of them together is just such an incredible combination, which i realize is kind of the point of a supergroup, but still.

it goes without saying that not strong enough is an amazing song. it might not be a deep cut or anything, but it is probably my favorite song of theirs at the end of the day. it’s one of those songs that really gets into your bones (a feeling i love so much that i have an entire playlist dedicated to it). the lyrics are also so cuttingly beautiful.

i don’t have any particular reason for choosing this one for today; it’s just a very special song, but you knew that already!

[skaterfairy02]

An Ode to Yargı: Part 2

Note: This is a follow up Part 1. There may be major spoilers. I highly recommend not reading this if you haven't been keeping up with the events of Yargı S1 and S2.

Since writing part 1, Yargı has taken some controversial twists and turns that have inspired passionate (both positive and negative) responses from fans. There is no shortage of twitter threads on how Sema (the brilliant writer/creator of Yargı) is making mistakes with her characters and story choices. In my opinion, all of this only underscores that Sema and Yargı are brilliant and continue to inspire robust analytical discussion.

For my part, I don't think I will know how I truly feel about the events of Yargı until the show ends. That's not for lack of trying to distill my thoughts and reactions down to something comprehensible, but Sema has shown us time and time again that there are little decisions and details she has injected into Yargı that don't pay off until later. Therefore, I am choosing to reserve overall judgement (pun intended hehe) until later. I will probably write a separate post about the controversies after the show concludes.

In this post, however, I will focus on writing about what Yargı does well. 

One of the best parts of watching Yargı is the visual experience. This might be a personal problem, but I don’t know if I’ve ever noticed such consistent attention to visual detail, imagery, and symbolism in a tv show before. It’s clear that the entire Yargı production team, from direction to lighting to set design to costumes, understands the assignment and is dedicated to conveying the nuances of the story. There’s obviously the recurrent use of water bottles to represent Ilgaz + Ceylin’s love. Sema herself has discussed this previously, noting that water is healthy and healing, making it a perfect symbol for IlCey’s love. There’s also the use of art, specifically The Great Wave Off Kanagawa, to represent Ilgaz and Ceylin’s relationship. As most Yargi fans know by now, Ilgaz literally refers to a mountain in Turkey and Ilgaz’s last name, Kaya, translates to rock. In other words, the mountain in The Great Wave represents Ilgaz and his solid, strong, steady character. On the other hand, Ceylin is represented by the great wave itself -- strong in its own way, full of energy, ferocious, tumultuous, often crashing at the shores of the mountain. Yargı reiterates this unique dynamic through the use of a beautiful song, Toprak Yağmura by Can Ozan. A great twitter thread I came across does a much better job than me at analyzing how this dynamic is visually conveyed throughout the show. These twitter threads (thread 1, thread 2) also analyze how art and other direction elements convey the change in dynamic for season 2. 

Yargı doesn’t stop there. It brilliantly uses lighting to indicate a character’s forthcoming arc. Most notable to me, was at the end of episode 15, when Ilgaz has decided to resign from his position as prosecutor so that he can better support and protect Ceylin. As he is walking to submit his letter of resignation and undoing his tie (also symbolic!), we see a dramatic change in lighting so that Ilgaz is now walking into a much more lighted area. This signifies his literal enlightenment about what needs to be done, as well as his forthcoming arc of doing what’s necessary to ensure justice is carried out. Furthermore, we see this use of lighting subverted in episode 49, when we see Ceylin walking away from Ilgaz’s office with completed divorce application in hand. The lighting changes so that she is now walking away from the light into a more shadowy area, signifying her forthcoming arc of turning away from her journey of growth and self-love and choosing a more murky path instead. 

Yargı uses subversion effectively to catch the viewer’s attention and provoke thought. Not just with lighting, but also in the way scenes are laid out or dialogues are written. My favorite example of this is in episode 36, where we see Ilgaz helping Ceylin prepare and get dressed for a police operation. In shows and movies across the world, how many times have we seen the female character helping the male character prepare and issuing warnings of being careful? Countless. It’s a go-to visual trope. How many times have we seen it flipped, with the male preparing the female? I struggle to remember any (if you do, please comment -- I would love to watch!). When I was watching episode 36, this immediately caught my attention. It doesn’t hurt that it’s also just a treat to watch Pinar and Kaan’s (lovingly referred to as PinKaan) chemistry in action, but the brilliance of the scene still stands.

Thanks for reading, and keep an eye out for Part 3!

[still-breathing-and-full-of-life]

🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️ Hi, I’m Luna and I’m just blob of a human who was plopped onto this planet for some reason and I like to scream about stuff I’m interested in.

Yeah, this image about sums it up.

You may follow or interact with me as long as you’re respectful and mindful of everyone else. (And I mean everyone, Karen) Bullies and haters may go away and sit in the corner to either melt away into a puddle or rethink their entire existence as a human on this planet.

Some things about me include…

Name: I named myself Luna/Lunita because I couldn’t think of an internet name so I looked up to the night sky and thought, “Moon… Yeah, it’s good enough.”

Age: I am old enough to get married but not to drink alcohol in the USA. No, I won’t be updating this when it changes. It may even change tomorrow and you’ll never know. (Or maybe I just got married but can’t down a glass yet)

Species: Human female. Although, for about a month when I was five, I was convinced I was part magical unicorn. (I’m still mad that I’m not)

Ethnicity: Hispanic/Latino. More specifically I’m Mexican-American who speaks fluent Spanglish in all my pocha and chicana might.

Emojis: I use emojis a lot. Especially if I am thanking someone or like something. You’ll just see a bunch of 💖💝💖💘💖💘💖💕💓💗💕💖💝💕💓💗💝💓💖💞💞💓🩷💘💖💕💘💖💘💝💘 spattered everywhere. Sorry, not sorry. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Something That I Don’t Have A Category For: I have some health things that sometimes land me at the hospital or extended bed rest, sooooo if I post something a little weird or hyper just blame it on the meds or a long night and I’ll fix it later. Also I may disappear for a bit but I always plan to return.

Humor: Broken and not due for maintenance anytime soon.

Names: I call people “bro” gender neutrally a lot and use it in place of calling someone op. Sometimes I’ll call people “guuuuuuurrrl” (girl) too in the same sense. One time I called an old man who was a veteran, “guuuuuurl” by accident when I got overly excited. He was cool and laughed it off.

Favorite Color: Scarlet red and turquoise. Not mixed together, I like them separate.

Favorite Songs: (It changes over time) Uhhhhh, High Hopes by Panic at the Disco cause it makes me feel like a superhero and I like the dance they made for Just Dance and I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe cause it hits different after certain life events.

Pets: Some dogs, cats, and fish. I will protect their identities by not mentioning their names or what they look like because they are secretly superheroes who fight crime every night after I go to bed. (At least that is what I am told by the horde of little kids who I am related to)

@jasmineofthecommonwealth is my other main blog that’s dedicated to my Fallout OC and some companion reacts get sprinkled in there when I feel like it. I probably spend more time over there than over here.

@nintendo-girl-4-life is my Nintendo blog.

@you-are-wanda-ful is my Marvel blog.

[youre-where-i-wanna-go]

writing meme: about me

I wasn't tagged but got this from @fandominstability

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I have always written stories since I was a little kid. I think my first fan-related fiction was related to Lady Gaga but I really got into fanfiction about a year later when I was a Bullocker (Sandra Bullock fan) and my friends in that fandom introduced me to wattpad and all the Sandy fics on there.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

If we include Gaga (though that was just one little story based on her song titles), it would be her, Sandy B, Agent Carter (Marvel), Married with Children, a cross of SOA and AHS, and then finally a lot of American Horror Story. So that makes 6 I think?

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I think I wrote my Gaga story when I was 11 or 12 and got into Sandy fanfiction when I was 13 so 12 years give or take (with very long breaks)

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Definitely write because for my comfort ship me and my bestie are pretty much the only writers currently. I do sometimes indulge in reading fics of Angela Bassett's other characters though but I write more stories than I read tbh

5. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

I'm not entirely sure but I think I've gotten better with removing some awkward terminology. There was also a time where I RPed with a friend who influenced me to become overreliant on describing women in same-gender relationships by their hair color, which I finally just dropped because it sounded very awkward and repetitive and also doesn't really work for Black characters.

6. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I think I have researched many strange topics but the weirdest might just be how mermaids have sex two nights ago lmaoo

7. What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

The excited type that conveys they would love to read more. I guess sometimes it's easier to share if you actually know someone is there who wants to read it. Also love comments on specific lines or references. But just in general ANY comment that isn't unusefully negative or homophobic (yes I've received one of those 😭) makes my day.

8. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Not sure exactly what is considered fringe but I could imagine my period fics qualify for it? Whenever I'm suffering particularly badly on my period, I like to give one of my comfort characters their period so the other has to comfort them. It tends to calm me down in the hurt/comfort sense.

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

I think the type of stories that deserve multiple chapters but they could go so many different ways that I struggle to pick one scenario to elaborate on. Examples for this are the details of Elizabeth's and Ramona's first night together or how Ramona's parents reacted to her dating a woman. So many possibilities.

10. What is the easiest type?

I love to drabble down sweet moments of fluff, smut or angst. I think little moments of fluff and hurt/comfort are the easiest for me. I think I most commonly write singular scenes based on random ideas.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I write in my Samsung Notes app (which is exclusively dedicated to my fanfiction), then copy the fics into Google Docs to share them with friends or, if I'm really bold, I will publish them on AO3 (very rare). Sometimes I try to cross-post on here (not very successful) or Wattpad (I always forget I have an account there) but it's mostly just AO3. When do I write? When I'm in bed. On very rare occasions I've also written on the train before.

12. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

The ones that I've mentioned before that I've been struggling with. First meeting/night together, Ramona's parents' reaction, ... I'd also like to continue an AU I started where Elizabeth never dies. But most of all I'd love to finish my main multi-chapter fic which I have so many ideas for and which has a lot of potential but is thus very overwhelming.

13. What made you choose your username?

Both my usernames on here and on AO3 are references to two of my favorite Gaga songs. "You're where I wanna go" is from Always Remember Us This Way and is a reference to the love between Gaga and her fans (and the fact that I have traveled many places for her). On AO3 my name is sohappyiclddie which is the title of my all time favorite Gaga song So Happy I Could Die. It's also very fitting for my fanfics because 1. Gaga plays one of the main characters, 2. death is a major theme with vampires (also on The Fame Monster, the album this song is on), 3. Elizabeth and Ramona make each other so happy they could die (during the good times) mhm mhm, 4. the song has a sapphic theme and my fanfics are sapphic too and so is Gaga and so am I, win win win win :)

not sure who to tag but whoever would like to do this is welcome to, consider yourself tagged!

[heartbeatbookclub]

2, 21, 27

(this is for the writing asks in case u couldn’t tell)

(me seeing this ask in my inbox after reblogging the post again)

2. What are some common elements of stories you are tired of seeing? What would you avoid writing about?

That's a good question. I don't typically think about stuff I dislike in a story, hmm...Well, I've already talked about a good bit I dislike in popular interpretations by the DDLC fandom, but a big thing I don't like that I don't think I've mentioned is the tendency a lot of writers in the fandom have to simplify or soften the harsher elements of DDLC to something more easily understandable.

That's not exactly a surprising thing in my opinion, but it's still annoying, typically. Like you can describe these things, like "Sayori has depression", or "Natsuki has a bad relationship with her dad", and people toss these ideas into their fic based on that without forethought of how that might impact each characters' reaction to things, at least beyond a surface level.

These serious issues impact each character's personality in incredibly complex ways which make them each compelling, but more often than not, they're either used for some kind of torture porn, or they're more or less a background element to whatever story they're trying to tell. It frustrates me to see, because within + especially, they're written incredibly well!

In general, I guess my biggest pet peeve is stories that don't respect the idea of "suspension of disbelief". I'm a bit of a stickler for stories that feel grounded in some kind of reality, or at least being consistent in that respect. Broadly speaking, I don't use this as a hard and fast rule for everything (I'm willing to give exceptions to fanfiction that I like in spite of it for one reason or another), but typically that's what annoys me most in a story that isn't outright bad.

I typically avoid writing things I'm not passionate about, or things I don't feel comfortable with. Not necessarily that I don't feel comfortable with the subject matter, more that I don't think it's my place to write it. They say write what you know, and if I have to do a shitload of research to be sure I'm doing it right, I'm probably not going to write about it.

21. How do you come up with titles? Do you use placeholders or tend to change your titles when writing the first draft?

I will be the first to say that I'm TERRIBLE with titling things. I have like 15 separate Untitled Documents in my Google Drive, all of varying subjects, all of varying length & quality. I have a document right now just titled "ddlc fics" and it's where I keep a bunch of separate outlines and drafts for concepts I have. The same goes for works of visual art--my portfolio has like 5 separate "untitled"s.

I'm a very spontaneous kind of writer. I get an idea which stops me dead in my tracks, and I have to do something for it. I open up an untitled document and just slap some words onto the page. Sometimes I do placeholder titles just for the sake of being able to find it later, often I just leave it until I can think of a more proper title.

Typically this doesn't pan out, hence the lack of titles, though I often like the result of the writing.

I'm a huge fan of one word titles. Rather than trying to put together a full sentence or some clever wordplay, I can just assign one word to a fic which entirely defines the vibe. I'm a big fan of language, and one of my favorite things is how single words can carry so much meaning.

I usually only title things when I intend to publish/finish them. More frequently, concepts just get little fragments which I never publish anywhere. Maybe I'll put some of those somewhere visible.

27. Do you have playlists for your wip? What are some of the songs in it?

Not typically! I sometimes will put together a specific soundtrack fitting to certain vibes within something I'm writing to then post in the fic (I used to do this more often), but it depends on my dedication to the vibe & the songs I have available for it.

The one other fic on my AO3 currently makes use of this to great effect, or so I'm told.

I don't typically actively listen to music while writing, because it distracts me & makes it more difficult to clarify my thoughts. Writing is the one thing I don't typically do with some kind of background noise, actually!

If I do, it's usually something really chill and low volume, just for the vibes. Usually it involves classical music, or vaporwave, or just my "mellow tunes" playlist.

Here's some from there.

I have a lot of music I could recommend people, really, but that's not what this blog's for... :>

[themollyzone]

before december gets too long

I love love love December for the end of year feeling. Not in the "top 10 albums of the year" feeling but more of a general reflective wrapping up and looking ahead. I take the New Year very seriously and believe it can offer up the elusive New Me.

One thing I always do in December is clean out my emails and all the files on my computer. It's a compulsive-ish habit but it makes me feel great. Likewise I deep-clean the apartment. If I'm really on top of it, I'll do a tarot reading, but I just got a real doozy of a reading at my birthday party that I'm still chewing on — specifically an 8 of Cups I'm trying to masticate until it gels with the vision I have for my future. Don't cry over spilled milk, they say, but what about a missing cup? Where the fuuuck did I put that cup??

I feel like I'm exiting 2022 in a state of pleasant disillusionment. The vibe is very strawberry fields / nothing is real / nothing to get hung about. When I was in high school I needed to mark my territory to feel like I existed. I had light blue high top Converse sneakers—I was trying to be punk, but light blue was apparently my favorite colorway....girl why....—and my friend and I wrote song lyrics on them in black Sharpie. You know how it is. One of the lyrics I wrote was "living is easy with eyes closed" because I thought it was deep as hell. Now the verse I'm stuck on is this one:

I had a couple of lucid dreams this year for the first time ever, which was nuts. Each time I realized I was dreaming, the first thought that ran through my brain was: ok now I can do anything I want, and it won't matter, because it's not real. I won't tell you what I did, of course. Nunya bizness! Taking acid in the 1960s must have been pretty nuts too. One minute you're eating some kind of green bean casserole prescribed to you by the Campbell's soup company, the next, the entire world has turned into an Impressionist painting before your eyes. It is much harder to take the concept of "reality" seriously when you're on psychedelics. All you can do is hope you know when it's a dream.

At the end of February, I was taking a train from Virginia back home to New York and feeling sad and not very useful. I should get a job, I thought, a real one, one job with one boss. I was feeling burnt out on freelancing and insecure about my technical skills. So I found a job, and that job has turned out to be one of the silliest patches of employment I've ever experienced. I can't even get into it but it's just more proof that nothing is real—certainly not employment, certainly not my type of employment.

"I hear you're buying a synthesizer and an arpeggiator and are throwing your computer out the window because you want to make something real." What prize do Chris and I win for being the most enthusiastic receivers of the message of "Losing My Edge" at the AmEx LCD Soundsystem gig? A pretty nice tote bag and a horse kick hangover. I could never throw my computer out the window. You can make real stuff on the computer! I swear I do it all the time.

When I was in Prospect Park on a gray and wet day, hunting down Peter Steele's special dedicated tree, I had the stoned thought that my personal artist statement might be something like "bringing the internet to real life and vice versa." It was tickling me that I was on a quest I was posting about on the internet, but I was also literally touching grass while on the quest. I cannot be totally on the computer all the time or I'll freak out, but there is no arguing that the computer is pretty important to what (I think) I do. It all interconnects: I'll email someone to interview them, and then I'll meet them in real life, and they'll recommend something for me to read, and the reading inspires me to look something up, and then I talk about it with other people, either online or in person, on and on, online and not.

I'm currently blogging on a mechanical keyboard I recently bought because I followed someone on TikTok who was into mechanical keyboard modding and I'm always looking for uh...new ways to type. It lights up in beautiful unicorn colors, but more importantly, it's loud as hell. I thought it might help to engage the ego when I'm making stuff for the internet. I clack therefore I am. I have some big plans for next year and I'm simply going to need a super loud keyboard for them.

[bisexualhobi]

this bassline is so badass and i love how it immediately sets the tone for the song which i can already tell is a more chill and catchy vibe to make you feel cool.

ohhh moon sua is specially charismatic in this - she's already great with that raspy tone and what i can only refer to as swag whenever she raps but i think she's leaning more into it this era. you can tell she's been getting more confident which i'm so happy about!!

the breathy tone in the post chorus is so satisfying and i think the vocal arrangement here is amazing!! really really enjoyed this it gets a 9/10

i'm actually so surprised they deviated from the tradition of closing the album with a fan dedicated ballad? and honestly i'm so happy about this change ngl the fan songs are cute but i don't like slow songs that much so this is a welcome change!

i think this song has a very interesting structure and it sounds very different from the rest of the album - the mixing and vocal chopping is so fucking cool. even though it starts off with that distortion and dreamy synths as the rest of the songs it suddenly makes a sharp turn increasing the tempo and the elements added to it as it progresses make for a super fun listen!

i love how haram could flex those amazing vocals with some high notes which she almost never gets the chance to do lol - and i really like the wow wow wow refrain in this. overall this might be the most innovative song in the album and in billlie's entire catalogue. 11/10 somehow this just became my favorite song from the album

OK LET'S GET INTO THIS REVIEW

gorgeoussss watery instrumental from the get go. the title really does make justice to the song - this is a whimsical soundtrack set to that moment right before the sun sets and the night comes in. the synths here are super pretty and give that magical feeling to what is a well crafted melody. the chorus is great and overall this might be my favorite album opener from billlie. 10/10

we start off with a powerful percussion that gives this the exact feeling of what i'm assuming is a war cry song - the title is pretty obviously chosen and by the time this song reaches the climax of the chorus the listener is already pumped as fuck.

this could easily be a loona song with a twist - right from around their so what era. the structure is pretty cool and coupled with a chant type of chorus that breaks down into a super catchy post chorus this song is sooo energizing. favorite part is definitely siyoon's rap verse - this girl has been practicing and you can tell she's found her own style! 10/10

[tsudelune]

saw ur post bc i was checking out the project sekai x reader tag HAHAHAHA hope ur doing well, don't stress yourself out with requests and take your time, besides that, how about general relationship headcanons with akito..?? 😳😳😳 remember what i said earlier before you do the request, (take ur time!) grrrr 🐒🐒🐒🐒

'' oh cupid walks right through ! ,,

- akito shinonome x reader

a/n : thanks, and i’ve taken my time (i swear) i hope i did this right, and enjoy! hopefully i didn’t write so short. might add on to this if i get more stuff

warnings : really cringe. (may someone bless me i’m going to SOB) at the end there is some kissy kissy stuff but it’s not steamy. 

style : hc style (bullets)

- alright. listen to me. this man CLEARLY loves you. he’d do the most obvious things to show that he’s dating you.

- he’s like a puppy who clings onto you everywhere...crazy how you’re not sick of him (/hj)

- as we all know...akito would definitely get jealous whenever he sees someone talking to you. he’d hug you over the shoulder and be like “who’s this?” that someone is gone the second they see him.

- naw, akito is literally so protective over you. there’s no evidence needed to prove it because it’s real (/hj)

- you and akito go on monthly or weekly pancake/cheesecake dates, akito would get whatever you get (unless there’s something special in the shop he really wants)

- he gets cheesecake take-out only for you on special occasions (he knows your favorites)

- you two have a spotify playlist of eachother, or a shared spotify playlist. it’s really sweet!

- akito would sing songs that are dedicated to you <3 probably only touya knows what it means

- eventually, VBS knows something is up between you two, so eventually akito had to spill...

- in fact, he was REALLY bashful when he announced it to VBS...an definitely teased him for the entire week. (don’t worry, VBS supports you both and cheers you guys on!)

akito : alright, i’ll tell you. me and s/o are-

an : your WHAT?!

- akito isn’t a fan of PDA, but at the least he’ll accept hugs and hand holding. cuddles, kisses, and other things would come in private.

- though, if you do hold hands, sometimes you might get a glimpse of him blushing (if you squint)

- he’d be so sweet in private, from hand holding to kisses...

- a sucker for kisses on the cheeks and forehead, if your lucky you’ll probably see him flustered or he’d giggle a little bit.

- his love language would be acts of service + physical touch (though that’s if you squint REALLY hard x2)

- he wouldn’t know love very well, so he’s learning to love with you. his kisses are pretty rough and passionate at the start, slowly as time passes, his kisses become softer and loving. 

- i kid you not, he definitely cups your face when you guys kiss.

- you and him are unstoppable together, and always will be <3

[cherrykindness]

let's make babies |

pairing: Harry Styles x Actress!Reader

summary: you and harry are doing a live on instagram, you've drunk a lot of wine and now the world knows that the future Mrs. Styles is ready to make babies.

warnings: mostly cute, but the title tells you what you need to know 🤪

"What is your favorite song from the Fine Line album?" Y/N read aloud, twirling in her right hand the second glass of wine of the evening, the one already halfway through. "Adore You and Watermelon Sugar, of course."

Harry giggled, rolling his eyes upon hearing his fiancée's statement.

"Y/N will always choose Adore You because it was obviously written for her." He accused. "She wouldn't give that answer under different circumstances."

The comments climbed up the screen continuously, most fans gushing about how cute Harry Styles and YN/LN could be while the other part was concerned with wringing even more information out of the slightly inebriated couple who had decided to do a surprise live one early Sunday morning.

As expected after being away for some time to begin filming Don't Worry, Darling in Southern California, Harry enjoyed a lazy weekend in the house he shared with his fiancée and her pets. The days were filled with late naps and relentless Netflix marathons, sublime and ethereal evenings, marked mostly by unexpected declarations and rounds of sex that used to last until the beams of light were shyly coming through the linen curtains. They were not a monotonous couple, so this order could easily be changed.

"Watermelon Sugar is nothing more than about my love for watermelons, don't get too creative." Harry replied to a fan while sporting a corner smile, the message standing out among the rest for its dozens of emojis and large print, questioning the singer about erotic content behind the lyrics of his latest hit. "I really don't know what you guys are talking about."

Y/N laughed, shaking her head before leaning it against her fiancé's chest, propped up on the soft white pillows that were spread practically all over the bed. The air conditioner was on at a minimal temperature and a light rain whipped on the panes of glass camouflaged by the cream-colored curtain, that being the projection of Y/N's favorite nights.

"You can tell them, I'm not shy." She joked, nudging her fiancé's waist.

"You know what it was written about and who it was written for." Harry replied, raising one of his eyebrows. "That's what matters."

It went without saying that much of Harry's newest album, as well as some of his earlier work, had been done in exclusive dedication to his future wife. Y/N had been the muse for a vast repertoire of romantic songs, and even though the singer preferred to keep the story behind his more explicit compositions a "secret", the relationship the two had shared for more than three years was already solid and known enough for the media and fans to distinguish hidden messages in small details.

"It's a song about what usually comes before the act of making babies." Y/N laughed as he pointed at the display. "Honestly, you guys are impossible."

"No, we make babies every day." Harry joked, making a funny motion with his eyebrows. "I would spend my entire career writing just about that."

"Harry!" The actress exclaimed incredulously, slapping her fiancé weakly on the chest. "Children might be watching this."

"You don't want to have babies with me?" He asked falsely offended, accepting the cup that Y/N offered him. "Because I want some babies with you."

Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes as she watched the internet freak out at the dialogue that had suddenly emerged. Since the beginning of the quarantine, it was kind of inevitable that the couple of artists would not become the darlings of all social media; they were fervently active with photos, videos, and lives that depicted step by step daily life in isolation, gaining more and more followers and making the media more and more fascinated by the relationship they both shared.

The wedding was scheduled for the summer of next year and it was perhaps the most anticipated event in the tabloids. Bets about what the model of Y/N's dress would be and lists presuming who would be selected for the short list of guests stood out among countless news stories about the famous people influencing pop culture today.

The possible arrival of a Styles baby was an inevitable topic in interviews. Harry and Niall were the only members of the ex-boyband that had not become fathers yet, and because they had maintained a solid relationship and were seen as one of the most enviable couples during the last four years, Y/N and Harry had gotten used to all this openly asked questions. They didn't mind, they even had fun with the montages and all the anxiety that dominated the whole internet, often mentioning the fandoms' efforts to represent them as such "cool" parents in perfectly edited pictures.

"No, guys, I'm not pregnant." Y/N amusingly clarified the doubt of dozens of new comments. "Please don't believe so many controversial news stories that appear out there. I was on twitter last week and saw several people theorizing about a possible pregnancy, most of the arguments based on a website that used photos from the set of How to Get Away with Murder in the season where I was actually playing a pregnant woman as Laurel." She laughed. "It's so funny! I know you guys love to guess these things, but we won't hide something so special when it actually happen, I promise."

"Especially because Y/N can hide absolutely nothing from anyone." Harry accused, leaving his drink on the corner table before settling into a comfortable position for the two of them. "Anyone who's a Marvel fan knows that. That's one of her most characteristic quirks."

"They gave me a fake script for the last two movies." Y/N agreed, shaking his head. "For me and Tom."

"We agreed to keep the engagement a secret for a while. The plan was to travel to Holmes Chapel to break the news to my family in person, but guess who got a call at ten o'clock at night from an angry Anne because she learned of her son's engagement from an interview Y/N gave the next day?"

Y/N gave a guilty smile, winking gracefully at the camera. "It was all James' fault! I'm sure he already suspected something, those questions were very suspicious."

"Of course the questions were suspicious, babe. You literally said you had a secret that involved both of us but that you couldn't tell because it was important that our families knew first."

"I thought he would think about a pregnancy or something!" The actress defended herself, feeling very convincing in her intonation bordering on obviousness. "That's a mania I can't get rid of, it's in my genes."

"Did you all hear that? Further proof that you guys don't have to worry about guessing when Y/N's pregnancy will be, I'm sure our baby will make sure to tell you everything while still in the womb, mom's genes will make sure of that."

"You are so funny, Harry Styles." Y/N sarcastically stated, holding back a giggle as countless messages with laughing emojis were frantically up. "Yeah, I know I talk a lot and all, but you have annoying quirks too."

It was obvious that live would be news the next day. Although they were completely open about matters concerning their relationship, nothing seemed better than receiving so much exclusive information from a Harry and S/N drunk on expensive wine.

"You wake up in a bad mood and you're dangerously sexy, that should be illegal."

Harry laughed, holding his fiancée's waist a little tighter as he felt her tumble a little further to the side, getting closer and closer to the edge of the bed. Y/N was dangerously weak for drinks, and the singer knew that the actress' body was already near its limit.

"You're the only sexy person here, love." He declared with a corner smile, evidently finding the whole situation funny. "Do you want to go to sleep now?"

"No." Y/N shook her head. "Can we watch some movie? Can we watch Sweet Home?"

"Of course, love." He murmured, giving the woman a quick kiss on the forehead.

Even though Harry knew that his fiancée was unlikely to make it past the five-minute mark of the episode, he made sure to restart the korean series at exactly the scene where she had stopped, the first chapter still halfway through after Y/N realized that it would be impossible to watch such a macabre work without a drop of alcohol in her blood.

She had been so excited by the taste of Argentinian wine and the idea of updating her fans after a few weeks away, that she had forgotten the main purpose of the live. Harry and Y/N had been apart for a few days due to the new movie the Brit was shooting in North America, all happening in an unrestrictedly careful manner due to the restrictions caused by the pandemic.

He was slowly migrating towards acting and the future Mrs. Styles couldn't be prouder. Y/N had felt on cloud nine when Harry had given her the news of his upcoming job, but her only pronouncement on the subject had been a succinct post on instagram. Just a photo of the couple on a trip to Germany with a simple heart emoji didn't seem enough for the actress' exhibitionist soul, and coming to that conclusion was the main reason she decided to invite him, already relatively changed, for a live appearance. Y/N wanted to go on and on about how much she loved that man and work on that whole honeyed speech that would bring her (once again) the title of "cutest bride of all time," but of course Harry had to come home from his trip with his favorite red wine and poison her with those sweet caresses that took her out of orbit, turning the degree of alcohol content into the least of her problems.

"You're going to kiss Florence." Y/N exclaimed suddenly, as if only now realizing that her fiancé would share the screen with Florence Pugh, one of her closest friends in that industry. "Kiss on the mouth."

The MacBook was still open and hundreds of new comments were going up every second, but Harry didn't bother one bit to warn her about the possibility of her becoming a meme the next day. He was having too much fun with the situation to worry.

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." She stated with a pout. "I am jealous, I just don't know if I'm more jealous of her or of you."

"But you kiss me every day, babe." Harry laughed. "And you've been kissing other people's men for almost ten years." He joked.

"But I only think about you, I already told you that."

Harry shook his head negatively at the camera, knowing he was sharing with the fans the funniest side of his fiancée.

"I know that, honey." He assured, lightly stroking the actress' back. "I think we'd better turn off the TV and go to sleep now, I'm sure you'll have a terrible headache tomorrow."

The brit planned to bid his audience goodbye and put an end to that recording, but Y/N was drunk and her sense of right and wrong had already gone to space. Harry should have been quicker, however, because his fiancée's speech would be cause for new tags and the only subject for the interviewers for at least the next few months.

"I don't want to sleep, how about we make babies?"

That's what Watermelon Sugar was all about, after all.